#I don't know how quickly these are supposed to work but bear with me

[helloitstsyu]

I Found | Tom Cruise

Fantasize Series Chapter 13 | Previous Part | Fantasize Masterlist

The world spins on a different axis after that night. You don't expect it to unravel like this—not so quickly, not so viciously.

You're supposed to come home for a brief visit. Attend the charity gala. Smile for photos. Then leave.

Not this.

Not the headlines.

Not the ache you can't name.

You can't spend another night in that house. The silence screams louder than the chaos ever does. So, you do what you've always done best.

You run.

Right after locking eyes with him for the final time—you get your suitcase out. Bought a one way ticket. And run.

Your father doesn't even know where you headed off to, nor did he knew when you left the house at the crack of dawn.

But you didn't care. You don't pack sentiment. You don't look back.

It has been nearly three weeks. Though time doesn't exist the same way anymore.

There's no clock here.

No paparazzi.

No signal to welcome the trolls to feast on your heartbreak.

Only wind and dust.

Laughter and drums.

Golden sunsets that spill across the land like fire and honey.

You run—half in shame, half in defiance—and land somewhere deep in Africa. Among people who don't know your name. Don't know your father's legacy. Don't know the man who shatters your heart. Don't know the woman whose death still sits like a ghost on your chest.

But they see you.

Really see you.

You sleep under mosquito nets in clay homes with laughter in the walls. Wake up from the loud cluck of chicken sound in the crack of dawn, you get up to teach school, deliver medicine, carry a kid on your back.

Your hands—once manicured and soft—grow calluses. Your skin bears the kiss of sun and work. Your hair dances wild and free in the wind.

And still—you've never felt more beautiful.

You laugh—a real, guttural laugh that cracks you open. You dance barefoot with children until your lungs burn. Carry water on your head. Weave baskets with your fingers. You forget about the girl your father expects you to be—the woman the world said of you on the gossip page. You only remember the girl who your mother raised.

And in remembering... you remember her.

This is her dream. Her heartbeat. Her legacy.

And in the dirt, and the drumbeats, and the lullabies sung beneath a sky dusted with stars,

You feel her. Holding you. Guiding you. Whispering, "You are not broken. You are not alone."

Still, the pain knows your name.

It visits at dusk, in silence, when the children sleep and you are alone with the ache.

Sometimes you wander beyond the village—just you, tall grasses, and the slow, regal silhouettes of elephants in the distance.

Your chest clenches—not with grief, but with longing. A longing so ancient it doesn't need words.

It's on one of those dusks that an elder sees you.

Her name is Amara.

Wrinkled. Radiant. Her eyes carved from obsidian, her hands maps of storms and stories.

"You walk heavy, child," she says. Her voice is thick, like warm soil after rain.

You turn. Startled.

Amara smiles softly and takes a seat on a big rock under the ancient baobab tree.

"It is a burden to carry weights alone. Wise one said not to leave it unspoken. Come." She pats the rock beside her. You obey, coming towards her slowly, aching. The cicadas sing. The light turns gold.

"What makes that pretty face falls?" She asks. Voice so soft like how your mother used to talked to you.

You take a deep breath before answering.

"I think I fall in love with someone I shouldn't have," you whisper, your voice cracking on the edge of truth.

"He's older. My father's friend. Also works with my father—He's uhh—He's a star…. And I think—" your throat cinches. "….I think he's ashamed of loving me."

Amara doesn't blink. Doesn't flinch. She straighten up. Look towards to the open field of golden casted tall grass.

"There is a kind of man," she began slowly, "who believes he is brave. But when real love comes—the kind that sets fire to everything he thought he knew—he freezes."

You softly shake your head in disagreement, Tom didn’t freeze—he did something—something that hurt you.

You shrug your shoulders. "Maybe it's just me," you add, fingers twisting the child-made charm bracelets on your wrist.

"Maybe I'm too complicated. Too much to love."

She leans in, her whisper thunderous. "Child, you are not too much.”

You turn to see her face.

“I don’t know you beyond this field but from what I saw—

I see a courageous young woman with a heart as big as the meadow.

I see it in the way the land welcomes you. In the way the children run to your fire.

You may think he is a star. But you are the sun. And if he is afraid of your light—he doesn't deserve your warmth. Let time answer that for you.”

Her words are wise but hidden under mystical analogy. But once you understand it, it hits like velvet thunder.

You couldn't think straight after that talk with Amara. The thought of him lingers louder than before. The children's laughter doesn't work anymore to keep your mind off him. So you steer away from the child, from the activities, and found yourself along again—By the river. Under the big baobab tree—sitting on top of the hills, alone just hugging your knees.

By sundown you stand still in the middle of the field, eyes closed, skin basking in the warmth of the dipping sun, heart trembling, the wind rising around you like a prayer. The loud music playing through your earphones lifts your soul off the earth.

But then, as the song in your ear fading towards the end. A loud child's laugh snaps you back.

You open your eyes.

There—

A silhouette.

Standing at the edge of the field.

The sunset behind him frames his figure like a painting. His gaze locks on yours.

Tom.

You stop breathing.

And in that single glance, every moment that goes unspoken—every apology he never says—lights up in his eyes.

You don't move. You can't tell if it's really him or a fragment of your fantasy.

Until he walks to you. And stands just a couple steps away.

"Y/N," his voice is the confirmation that he's real. And he's really here right now. Right in front of you. In same soil you've been standing on in Africa.

"Tom..." You exhale his name like a prayer. Like a curse. Like a memory that won't die.

"H-how did you find me here?" Your voice cracks.

He smiles—genuinely smile—the exact smile that haunts you—now he smiles like he's relieved to be able to locate you.

"Took a little bit of work... but it doesn't matter, because I have to see you," he says.

You glance over his shoulder. A helicopter parked across the field—children swarm it, their eyes wide with wonder. They touch it like it's a dream.

And it struck you again — he is a dream. A fantasy.

That's the reminder of who he is in the world.

Of where he belongs.

Of the tragedy: that you believed, even for a moment, he'd choose you over it all.

You shake your head. Try to turn away.

"Y/N—" He reaches for your elbow, gently. "Wait. Please."

You freeze, jaw tight, breathe shallow. But it is only his eyes that still grounds your soul, like a magnet that keeps pulling you.

"You don't have to say anything but please... just listen," he lets go of your elbow.

"I'm a coward," he says, voice trembling. "I told myself I was protecting you. From the noise. From the cameras. From the way this world chews people up and spits them out. But that's not the truth."

He breathes in heavily.

"The truth is—you were right—I was protecting myself. But not for my reputation—for what loving you makes me feel. Because you don't just shake my world, Y/N. You obliterate it. You make me see everything differently. And when my publicist showed me that headline…

I panicked..."

You blink, tears stinging.

A beat.

But then he steps forward.

"I lose you…. The one person who makes me want to be more than a name on a marquee. More than someone who just jumps off buildings on screen."

His eyes glisten now, desperate. Unshielded.

"When we're in Utah, lying in the back of that truck... I swear to God… I want to pause time. I want to stay right there—in that quiet, in that breath—with you. But I'm terrified. Not of what people would say. But if someday you'll look at me and think you made a mistake. That I'm your mistake....

I've done death defying stunts. But Y/N—nothing ever scares me like the way I feel about you.”

You try to look away. Try to blink the tears away, but no one can tears down your walls like he does.

"And because of that… I ended up losing you. I made you think I was ashamed of you. That I didn't choose you. But the truth is... I was ashamed of myself. For being too fucking weak to stand beside the only person who ever made me feel like I was more than the mask I wear for the world—

When I know you left, I swore I'd drop everything if it means I get to find you again..."

He exhales, shaky and rough. Then he waits.

You swallow hard, the ache in your chest blooming like a bruise.

Your breath shudders, the tears finally falling.

"I wasn't scared of the headlines. Or the cameras. I was scared that this—what we are—would always be something hidden. because it wasn't built to last in your world. Because maybe this was never supposed to be more than a fantasy."

You look at him now, and your voice cracks.

"And that headlines, what you did with it, it confirmed everything I feared. That I'd built a home in someone who would always be halfway out the door."

Silence hangs, aching and heavy, before you add, softer this time:

"But I love you, Tom—And... God, I'm tired of trying to un-love you.

But if you're going to be here, Tom... be here. Not as a fantasy. Not as some secret. But as the man who chose me—fully, and without apology."

He walks closer slowly to you. Takes your hand, His chest rises, falls. For a moment, he just looks at you—like he's memorizing every inch of your face, like he's seeing you for the first time all over again.

Then his voice breaks, low and rough.

"I am here."

He moves closer, closing the space like it's killing him not to touch you.

"I was halfway out the door because I didn't think I deserved to stay. Deserve you."

He shakes his head, eyes locked on yours.

"But now I know, I don't want the life I had before you. I don't care what it costs. I just want you. Because I can't live without you,"

A pause.

"If you still want me... I'll spend the rest of my life proving you that I'll always choose you."

You look away from his broken eyes, the sky’s a shade of orange and pink behind him. You take a deep breath, and another tear falls from your eyes. You remember what Amara said earlier now—‘Time will give you the answer’

And he’s here.

He flew half across the globe.

Not to proof to the world.

But to proof you he loves you. That he cares for you.

You look back into those eyes. A soft smile curving on your face.

"Flying half across the world for me be the first proof.."

Tom smiles. His tears finally fall. He exhales softly and his shoulders drops like he’s been holding the weight of the world.

You open your arms and he quickly pulls you into a hug. Your hands tremble as you hold him. You sigh onto his neck.

And then, with his forehead resting against yours. He whispers softly:

"I love you, Y/N."

You can feel his hand trembling as it holds your face. He meant it. Always meant it.

"I love you" you whisper it back.

The sky fades to navy.

Stars blink into view like the universe is watching.

You stay there.

Two hearts.

One heartbeat.

Lips colliding in a soft searing kiss.

————

Taglist

@shadowkl10

@anima-patronos

@tom-cruiseisalegend

@sdrose93

@kujolin12-official

@ashdyh321

@sabsthedoll

@galway-gilr

@kimmingyuswifee

@sugartommy

[the-obey-rot]

can we get the obey me characters with an mc who’s super oblivious to their advances ? like they’ll try to flirt and mc will have no idea that they’re being serious unless they outright tell mc that they’re interested LMAO if that’s too much, can you please do the brothers instead? :)

Yes you can! I love this. And don't worry, I don't mind writing for everyone!

Below the cut, this is a lot longer then I first planned lmao

Diavolo

He'd be fairly direct already with flirting, calling Mc cute and saying how much he likes to spend time together.

When it doesn't work, he decides to only dance with Mc at balls and starts to get them romantic gifts, a necklace with a D, flowers, stuffed bears with hearts.

Eventually he just gives up, this happens after he straight up gave Mc a heart shaped box of chocolate with the text on it "for my love".

He would take Mc to the gardens, hold them by their arms, look straight into their eyes and go "Mc, I've been in love with you for so long, what must I do to have you love me?" and Mc just kinda blanks as it hits them. "oh...I already do...."

Barbatos

He'd be a subtle flirt, picking out the best pieces of a cake for Mc, remembering their favorite flavors and teas.

Probably realized that wasn't working quite quickly and so, after a lot of debating himself, he requests to have a day off every other week. He'd take that day to spend it with Mc. He'd still play butler too much tho, basically just replacing his Diavolo work with Mc work, but instead of the work reminders and the annoyance he'd adress Mc with a fondness he hasn't shown anyone before.

It takes him a while to realize himself how he's been acting like a butler instead of a lover, but once he does he would take Mc on proper dates, Mc doesn't realize they're actual dates until Barbatos goes "Thank you for being my love" and Mc has to genuinely ask "what do you mean? We're friends" and Babatos let's out a subtle chuckle "I suppose I didn't ask you to be my partner properly, my apologies dear"

Lucifer

He'd be wayyyyyy too subtle, he'd just compliment Mc slightly more the usual, which doesn't work, so he slowly goes from simple "I like your hair this way" and "you did well with the cooking" to "you look like someone I'd fall in love with Mc" and "I would spend the rest of eternity eating your food if I could"

And Mc? Oblivious little shit, it does not work.

After a while of this Lucifer starts to invite Mc to do things as just the two of them, they're simple and soft, listening to a cursed record, sharing a bottle of demonus, just talking deep into the night regardless of him knowing he needs the sleep.

Lucifer after a while decides he should just make it clear, but still refuses to outright state it. He'd take Mc on a picnic date to earth, at the end Mc thanks him for the wonderful time and how they should do that with the others some time, Lucifer slowly whispers "Why won't you accept my love" and Mc looks at him, asking him to repeat himself, he stands up, cupping their cheeck and gently kisses them.

Mammon

This is torture for everyone else. "my human" "I'm their first" "they're my servant!", ofcourse Mc wouldn't realize the idiot was flirting.

So then he gets clingy, holding their hand, staying close, touching them whenever he can to make clear to everyone else Mc is his. And ofcourse he smothers them in all gifts that remind him of them.

His brothers are getting tired of the constant talking about Mc being his and the way he keeps finding excuses to hold Mc. So they set up a date for them, they tell both Mc and Mammon about how they're going to a restaurant as a group, but before leaving Lucifer presses Goldie into Mammon hand "If I learn you spend money on anything other then her Cerberus will eat your card.", Mammon is confused but ofcourse agrees, not even realizing his brothers leave the moment he gets to the waitress stand.

Mammon gets seated at a 2 person table, Mc arrives just a bit later, confused where the others are. But the two of them have a wonderful time, at the end, Mc tries to have the bill split, thinking Mammon would make her pay otherwise, they're in shock almost to see Mammon pay for them, as the server says they're a cute couple Mc then tries to object, but Mammon answers first "ofcourse we are, they're half of it", once outside Mc asks Mammon what he ment with it "you're my human, no one else's.", Mc finally realizes and giggles, giving him a soft cheeck kiss "you could've told me you loved me before all this"

Leviathan

It was a huge step already being allowed to just vibe in his room, so even if he was crushing he wouldn't flirt. He just keeps saying "us" any time Mc and him watch an anime with a couple, but Mc ofcourse loves slow burns, so Levi keeps saying it when Mc still perceives the characters as just friends.

After a while of Mc not rejecting the idea to Levi he will get just ever so slightly bolder, as they watch a new anime he would have a bowl of popcorn and purposefully reach out for popcorn at the same time as Mc and he'll be all flustered about doing it which makes Mc assume they did something wrong.

Ofcourse they keep watching anime and reading manga. Leviathan doing the occasional trope to try and get Mc`s attention, which usually just gets him all flustered and Mc confused. And eventually Levi trusts Mc with is TSL fanfiction.

The fanfiction is the usual self insert AU, expect that there's a character with a name who gets nicknamed M.C. who wasn't part of the series originally and who ends up with Leviathans character. Mc is hesitant, but asks him about it, Leviathan insists it's an actual character from one of the books Mc hasn't gotten to yet.

And then Mc does get to that book, there is no M.C. It's been nearly 6 months since the fanfic incident, but Mc runs into Leviathans room "YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH ME?!" and "what? No, that's a normie thing! " "...but M.C. isn't in the book", Leviathan has no excuse, just a red face and a little nod

Satan

He'd struggle to even flirt, eventually just using a human world book with pickup lines and trying to copy some stuff from romance books Asmodeus gave him. It doesn't take long for him to realize they don't work as Mc just kinda laughs at the lines most the time.

Then he decides to just ask Mc to hang out, they vibe in his room, reading books and Satan sits next to Mc, just barely touching arms with them. After an hour or two he moves to lean his head on them, Mc pets him softly "if you're tired I can go" "please don't", Mc just kinda thinks it's sweet and continues petting him until he falls asleep, rules say no more moving.

Satan keeps inviting Mc to his room, every time getting more annoyed his advances don't work out as he wanted to, but more so with himself then with Mc.

Eventually Satan snaps at Mc when they ask if he's alright "NO! I KEEP TRYING TO FLIRT AND YOU KEEP IGNORING IT!" "...you were?", as he realizes Mc actually is that oblivious he calms down and as usual sits next to them, but this time Mc leans in his shoulder "I'll stay again"

Asmodeus

Every. Fucking. Flirt. Ever. He has seduced hundreds, if not thousands of humans, why not the one he has romantic feelings for! He could get Solomon for crying out loud!

He gets desperate enough to have Mc stare into his eyes for hours, Mc does it while very confused, but it's fun to spend time chatting so whatever.

Eventually he would pin Mc to the bed, after doing the eye thing multiple times. "Asmo you ok-" "Mc do you hate me?" "what?! No! We're friends!" he would pout "There are never two pretty best friends, so we're going to be more." Mc just kinda stares at him, trying to figure out what is more then best friends "for Diavolo's sake Mc, I am in love with you!" silence follows "romantically." "oh-" they'd proceed to cuddle as Mc processes it for the evening.

Beelzebub

He'd share his food, Mc ofcourse refusing every time, not wanting him to go hungry more then he already does. He'd get upset and even worried Mc doesn't take his food, because what if they're starving now! It takes Mc a long time but eventually they just kinda accepts the food Beelzebub gives them, tho insisting less then half, as a compromise.

At some point the food would now come with tickets to Beelzebubs games, always Mcs favorite seat in the first ring. After every game he makes sure to go to them before celebrating a win, just to smile and tell them "Thank you for being my good luck charm", Mc tends to toss him some chocolate when this happens.

When Beelzebub realizes it's not really working he goes to Mcs room in the evening, sitting on their bed with them "Mc, you're the first not eatable thing to make me feel full", Mc is surprised and confused, slowly asking what he means by that and he answers in what is almost a whisper "I would like to go on a date", Mc agrees, although surprised, on the date Beelzebub properly asks Mc to be his partner, Mc agrees.

Belphegor

He'd be making Mc cuddle in the attic so. much. and if they don't come there he'll just lay in their bed waiting.

He'd be too tired to flirt properly, but also feels like he should atleast put in the effort after the whole, murdering them. So he decides to try, "I'd do anything to get your heart Mc", which, ofcourse, freaks Mc out, they don't cuddle that day.

It takes Belphegor some times to work up the courage (and energy) to try and flirt again "I will be your sleeping beauty", Mc thinks it's cute but doesn't seem to get it, so Belphegor continues "And you to be the princet to kiss me awake" it takes Belphegor another 5 minutes to explain he loves them properly after everything.

Solomon

Weird little guy about it, just keeps showing up randomly any time Mc has even a second to spare from the brothers. It becomes kinda routine at some point, Mc has a break, Solomon pops in and either they have a nice chat or there's some weird fuckass side quest in their lives, but it's nice and comforting.

Then the chats turn into going out, parties, shopping, just enjoying earth for a day. And eventually that turns to Solomon risking being discovered as an immortal to take Mc on a date to some old local family restaurant he used to go to 30 years ago, those there pretend to not recognize him as the generations before did, they give him a free bottle of wine and they give Mc a slice of chocolate cake. Tho Solomon would've wanted to cook it himself, he figured out Mc loves these types of things more, so the love note was save and without magic.

Mc thinks there was a mixup, so she politely tells staff and it takes Solomon doing it again when he himself cooks for Mc to realize, tho they're also quite glad to have an excuse now to not eat any more they're also happy to know now it was truly Solomon that other day.

Simeon

He'd try to give Mc some space at first, scared that if he suddenly were to flirt or ask them out they'd just laugh it off. Then one day when Mc comes over to bake with Luke (and keep Solomon out of the kitchen) he would take their hand "your smile makes everything worth it" and they'd just thank him, saying they also like his smile.

Simeon keeps using flirty compliments, to a point even Luke realizes what's going on. So Luke invited over Mc again, but "oh no" they're out of this one specific hard to get ingredient! Mc tries to go get it, but Luke already ran off and Simeon just got back from a walk.

So they chat, Mc sitting on the count, Simeon leaning next to them "Luke seems happy with you around" Mc laughs softly "yeah, I'm almost like his parent" "shouldn't parents be married?"

Mc nods before looking confused "wait do you want me to go get Luke another parent?", Simeon laughs "please never change Mc" as Luke comes back, without the ingredient, Simeon leaves to his room again, wishing them good luck. It isn't until Mc tells Lucifer about their day that they get told Simeon probably ment something else.

It get's brushed off until valentines day, Simeon approaches Mc with a bouquet of human world flowers "what's this for Simeon?" "To celebrate my love for you" and then Mc realizes Lucifer was right.

Thirtheen

She'd spend a lot of time around Mc, but in a being in the same room type way. Eventually she's sit closer but still just chilling. Mc doesnt mind, it's like having a cat that keeps trying to kill your close friends.

Then Thirteen gets comfortable enough to be herself, she's talking about her traps, about stuff from the past and just overall talking with Mc about whatever pops into her mind, only going silent if someone else enters the room. It's nice that Thirteen is so trustworthy of Mc.

Eventually Thirteen would try to flirt, tho a bit morbidly, "I can't wait to make your soul mine", "even if you also end up immortal I'd still love you", Mc doesn't get it anyhow.

And when Thirteen is tired of Mc not getting it she just kidnaps Mc to her cave and makes it a cozy movie night date, "you're the only one I'll ever do this with Mc" "I'm glad you trust me" "you're such an oblivious dumbass"

Raphael

He's already struggling with having these feelings at all to a point he asks Simeon for help stuffing it away. Instead Simeon locks Raphael and Mc in a room, pretending it's on accident.

They'd spend a lot of time in silence until Mc asks about the sewing kit he has and why he doesn't use a sewing machine. Raphael explains how he learned to enjoy sewing by hand due to the tears the brothers kept getting in their clothes. Mc jokingly asks if he could make them a more formal piece of fitted clothing, Raphael instantly takes their measurements.

Weeks pass, Mc just brushing it off as him having been polite, until Raphael walks to Mc after class, silently handing them a white box with teal bow, in it is the clothing Mc mentioned, it's stunning and fits perfectly, along with it is a card, asking Mc to wear it that Saturday.

Raphael shows up unannounced at the house of lamentation that day, the brothers almost kill him but a confused Mc comes down in what he made. No words are spoken, but Mc follows Raphael to a nearby park, they sit there. "Mc it seems I've fallen in love with you."

Mephistopheles

Begs Diavolo for help, eventually he agrees and organizes a ball. Mephistotiles spent all his time and energy making sure he looks proper and that everything is perfect, even coming 15 minutes late to indicate he's busy and important. He offers Mc a dance, already holding their hand before receiving the yes.

They spend the evening dancing, tho Mc leaves early anyway, Mephistopheles finds this weird, sending them a letter requesting their attendance to his mansion the following day. After a LOT of hesitating and getting both Asmodeus and Lucifers help as to how to look and act they go.

Mephistopheles takes Mc inside, to the dinner table, I troducing the as his partner without hesitation. Mc doesnt refuse tho deeply confused, after dinner they go with him asking what it's about "I will put more effort into the relationship then I will in getting you to say yes." "next time atleast ask me out properly once" "we can do that tomorrow, it will be the best date you will ever experience."

[justkending]

However Many Tomorrows it Takes. (One-shot)

Summary: It's not a big deal? People get shot on the job all the time. We patch it up and move on. So why is he so adamant that I don't make a few jokes here and there? Is it really that serious-? Apparently, it is.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger Reader (Enemies to lovers)

Word Count: 3100+

A/N: As requested, another angsty, injury, one-bed trope, Bucky fic :) Enjoy, and let me know what you think! ❤️‍🔥

________________

“Is that blood?” 

“No?” 

“That’s not a question you’re supposed to answer with another question.”

I look to Bucky, blinking a few times, and he stares at me with a raised eyebrow. 

“Yes?...” I follow with as if not sure what the correct answer was. 

“Dear God, how much blood have you lost to be this stupid?” he grumbles, moving to me and quickly assessing the damage, even if he doesn’t know the spot of my wound. 

“Hey now. Can’t blame a girl for trying to curve an obvious disappointment glare you were winding up,” I retort, having my arm harshly raised so he can get a better look at my side. “Hey! I’m fine!” I argue, snatching my arm back down and giving him a look. “Stop that.” 

“You’re. Bleeding,” he says it loudly and slowly as if I’m hard of hearing, but I know it’s just him playing into the fact of his joke early that I would have to be incoherent to not realize the depth of the problem at hand. 

“Thanks, Einstein. I thought I was just sweating red sticky liquid,” I smack his hand as it reaches for my side again. “Cut it out!”

“Stop acting like a child,” he grumbles, and I step back, getting another long glare from him, showing me his patience is soon to be extinct. “Let me see-”

A loud shout down the alley on the city outskirts, where we were working, brought both of our attentions ahead. 

“We can role-play doctor and patient later. We have bigger things to check off on our to-do list,” I say, starting to jog backwards, wincing at the sharp pain on my back, and as Bucky runs alongside me, he gives me a judgmental look. “Don’t worry, I’ll stay alive so you can ridicule me about my life decisions later. I know how much you love that after a mission,” I chuckle, hiding the new wince that threatens to take over my features as I turn and run full force to another hiding spot, trying to get away from the guards we set off on our heist.

We managed to make it back to our hideout, and while Bucky chatted on the phone with Steve, he made me promise to shower and change so he could check my wound after he was off the call. 

“Don’t overdo it,” he warned, phone still up to his ear as he positioned it away from his mouth and pointed a finger at me. 

“Don’t play mama bear, it’s annoying,” I say, pointing to him the same way as I leave the room. 

We were in a disheveled apartment flat slightly in the city limits- a good distance from our mission point. It didn’t have much as it was a safe house for temporary cover and reset, but it had a working shower, a mattress on the floor, and a few necessities to stay a night or two if needed. 

If we were lucky and on the right track, we wouldn’t need to stay the night, but until we got reports back from Steve about how successful our infiltration was, we weren’t sure how long we’d be here yet. My hope? A few hours. Likelihood? Longer than that…

“Steve says they received one of the files we sent from the lab, but they’re waiting on the next one to come through. Should be in the next hour, but if not-” he says, walking down the hall and turning into the one room the place had, he sees me in front of a mirror, trying to see the bullet wound on my back. “You were shot?!” he says in surprised terror as he stomps in quicker to the room. 

“Grazed. I was grazed,” I correct, focusing on trying to get a better angle, but before I know it, I’m being gripped by the waist and turned in Bucky’s hands as he squats down to get eye level with it and holds me steady. “Hey now!” I say almost losing my balance in the switch-up, but his hands are secure and strong, keeping me in place. 

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me it was this bad?” he says through his teeth as he grabs my hands and forces me to hold my shirt up so he can examine it better. 

“Because we were kinda running for our lives,” I answer with a sigh and slouch in my spot as I hold my shirt up bunched above my stomach. 

He grumbles something under his breath and stands guiding me to the wooden chair I’m not sure is 100% stable, and sits me in it softly before leaving the room. 

“What’s happening?” I ask dumbfounded to being politely manhandled. 

I shouldn’t be surprised, considering he gets like this each mission, but luckily, it’s been a few years since I’ve had an injury as such, and he was around for it. Usually, I’m on missions with others, and considering that we have a nitpicking and annoyed forced friend kind of bantering going on constantly, I still figured he’d tell me to slap a band-aid on it and call it a day. It’s what he does for himself…

He comes back in with a first-aid kit in hand, the scowl permanent on his face as he steps into business mode. 

“Keep your shirt up,” he instructs, opening the white plastic container and rifling through it for the appropriate medical tools. 

I don’t really fight it as I know it’s pointless. Besides, I have nothing better to do as we wait to hear if we’re stationed for the night, or if we are making a 6-hour flight home soon. 

“Like I said, it’s just a graze,” I say as he grabs a sanitizing wipe and sprays it with disinfectant. “The healing process won’t be bad,” I say, looking down as he brings the doctored gauze strip to the cut, and I take a breath in, knowing the sting to follow. 

When I grit my teeth ready for the discomfort that follows, I don’t expect his hand to rest on my knee in silent assurance and support as he presses it, and the slight distraction makes the initial sting numb. 

I look down at him, and he’s focused on the cut, being gentle and not at all abrasive like he’s been stomping around here and demanding. 

It’s quiet as he fixes me up, squeezing my knee before another sting occurs. As he’s applying the biggest bandaid in the kit over it (a touch overkill if you ask me), he looks up at me, arm resting on his knee where he’s been squatting the entire time. 

“Do me a favor. Stop getting shot. It stresses me out,” he says with a straight face, but a hint of genuine concern is laced in there. 

As he goes to stand, I sigh and playfully reply, “Well, if you don’t like it...” 

“No one likes it,” he says, wiping his hands on a cloth, looking over his shoulder with a warning look. 

Ok. Serious Bucky is still here even after the danger has been evaded. 

I sigh, putting my sarcastic personality to bed for the night. You can only fake that you’re unbothered for so long before people see through it. Bucky is a ‘people’. Bucky has always been ‘people’ when it comes to me. For whatever reason that is… I have no clue. We’ve always kinda… budded heads? I don’t know how to explain it because it’s temperamental most the time. However, it’s a known fact on the team, that the battle of stubborn asses will likely come into play if we’re around each other long enough. Seems the battle is itching for a start. 

“Ok, you know you can play along, right? You don’t have to be so uptight,” I roll my eyes, adjusting my shirt and moving to my bag for my sweatshirt. The flat doesn’t have great sealing on the windows and doors. It’ll likely be a cold night. 

“Or you can take the fact you got shot seriously and not kid around about it,” he responds, grabbing the first aid kit and organizing it. He was an organizing fiend when he was upset or needed to hone his energy somewhere else so he wasn’t in his head too much. 

The compound's pantry and spice cabinet? Pristine almost always, by the way. 

“Or you can recognize this isn’t life or death and we say, ‘Hm, that sucks. Good thing no one's dead or dying. Call it a plus,’ and move on with our day,” I argue back. 

He rolls his eyes as he winds a roll of gauze and looks at me from the side. “You. Were. Shot,” he says again in that slow, demeaning tone. 

“Obviously, I know,” I growl. “I. Felt. It.” 

He narrows his eyes at my unphased demeanor and the way I mock his tone. 

“What’s so wrong with a person worrying about you, huh?” he questions with an investigative look, stepping towards me where I’m sitting on the bed that’s less than a foot off the ground, forgoing the kit. 

“That’s not the problem,” I scoff, digging in my bag to avoid eye contact. 

“Then what’s the problem?” I can feel him standing over me, arms crossed in his intimidation tactic. Can’t work if I’m not looking, right? 

“Problem is you overreact.”

“I’m not overreacting. You were shot.” 

“As you’ve said only a hundred times in the last hour. Care to make it 101?”

When I don’t hear a witty response, I look up, seeing him staring down at me with what I can’t decide is distaste, pure fiery annoyance, or pity. Only one of those I’m slightly ok with. 

“Silent treatment? Kay, cool.” I shrug and grab my sweatshirt, throwing it over my head. “I’m going to go make a sandwich and wait for Steve to call back. Hopefully, we’re not here much longer.” 

I can hear the short scoff he lets out of his nose as I pass him and move back to the kitchen space while he gets changed himself. 

Twenty minutes later, showered and new like me, Bucky comes in and sits across from me in the mismatched chair paired with a table that looked to be built by a two-year-old. 

“Careful, splinter galore over there,” I motion to the side of the table where I purposefully moved away from. “Hungry?” I ask, nodding to the minimal ingredients as I take a bite of the sandwich. 

“No.” His arms are still crossed, and he’s still glaring at me from over the counter. 

“‘Kay,” I shrug and stay on my phone as I eat and scroll through social media, waiting for Steve’s notification. 

Did you know Bucky can stare at you for hours without moving and make you uncomfortable in your seat just by his presence? Well, he does. And he’s doing it right now. 

“Twenty-seven minutes, Barnes. That’s how long you’ve been glaring at me without breaking,” I say, never breaking my concentration from scrolling on my phone through the pictures that Nat sent a while ago in the group chat. “Going for a new record?”

“Can you not make everything a joke for one second of your life?” he grits after a minute, and when I look up, I see he’s genuinely upset. 

I blink a few times and scrunch my face at the change up, and lock my phone, leaving it on the table as I cross my arms and lean back in my chair. 

“What’s up with you-”

“What’s up is you don’t seem to have any regard for your life,” he cuts me off, looking away as he takes a breath and runs his hand through his hair. “This isn’t the first time something like this has happened, and it freaks me the hell out that you don’t seem to take it seriously.” 

“We all have different ways of responding-” I start again, my eyes narrowed as he calls me out on it. 

“I’m not negating that,” he says, holding a hand up, still not looking at me. “My concern is one day it’ll be far more serious, and you won’t speak up or you’ll downplay the fuck out of it to not be a bother to others.” 

What the hell- How did he know…?

“That’s not-” 

“Don’t you dare even finish that fucking lie,” he holds a finger up to me with a warning look that I’m not stupid enough to take lightly so I shut my mouth, but continue to glare. “Y/N, you were shot today. Shot. And yes, I know it was a graze and comparable to a mosquito bite, given the injuries we’ve sustained throughout our careers, but it’s serious nonetheless. You getting hurt is serious.”

I don’t know where this is coming from, but I’m curious where he’s going with this. Curious and slightly scared he’s seeing through me like a damn cellophane wrap. 

“Be honest with me,” he crosses his arms again when I don’t give him a quip back, and he knows he has the floor. “Do you see yourself as a burden or inconvenience when you get hurt on missions?” 

Ok. Getting straight into the hardhitters and not even easing into the topic. 

My only answer is more narrowing of my eyes as I begin to build a wall, I think he’s already prepared for. 

“Eh, be honest,” he says, raising one eyebrow in challenge. 

I hesitate. I don’t want to give him the reward of being right at all, let alone so soon. “Majority of the time that we’re on missions, there are more important things,” I answer vaguely, but the real answer in that response is, “I don’t see myself as a priority as much as others or other aspects towards the missions.” 

He seems to see right through it, and his face relaxes somewhat. Sympathy instead of frustration comes through his eyes. 

“You are important,” he says simply, never breaking eye contact with me. “How could you not be?”

My scowl eases from my face, and I blink in surprised confusion. 

“I-I know that,” I say, having to clear my throat because I didn’t even believe that. “I know that.” I try again, and this time it sounds like words you’ve said a million times, and now they feel wrong.

His face fell in pity, and that’s when I drew the line. I clear my throat again, standing quickly and straightening my clothes. “I’m going to lie down for a bit. Let me know if Steve calls.” I exit the room as fast as I can before he can argue for me to stay and talk.

____

I must have dozed off pretty soon after getting the bed made up and ready, in case we ended up staying the night because the mission wasn’t done. 

But when I woke to the bed dipping and the single lamp on Bucky’s side turning off, I came to the conclusion we were stuck here for the night. 

I’m as close to the edge on my side of the queen mattress when he pulls the covers over himself, and I feel the change as the sheets come up to cover me more, too.

“Not done?” I ask, meaning the mission. 

“Not done.”

“How long?” 

“Second file still needs to be obtained. We’ll come up with a plan tomorrow. Don’t worry about it right now.” 

I turn, shifting to sit up, but his hand wraps around my waist gently and pulls me close to his body heat. “Bu-”

“I said don’t worry about it,” he repeats, taking in a deep breath as he rests his head on top of mine and wraps me into him as the little spoon to his big spoon. 

I don’t even question it because this wouldn’t be the first time we’ve had to share body heat to keep warm. We’re lucky the flat was supplied with clean sheets and a giant comforter, but the single other blanket didn’t do much to shield us from the cold European fall nights. 

But considering how much he seemed to see through me, I felt vulnerable tonight. And his touch… Felt more protective than usual. 

“My feet are cold,” I say softly and almost childlike when I recognize both he and I are bundled in all the warm clothes we have packed, but the socks on my feet aren’t enough to help still. 

“They always are,” he mumbles into my hair before moving his leg to capture mine and tangle our limbs under the covers, perfectly positioned to warm my frigid toes. Once he’s happy with the positioning, he lets out a deep breath and says. “There. Now, go to sleep, Y/N. Our problems will still be a thing in the morning.” 

“Which problem are you hinting at?” 

“All of them.” 

“Well, yes, I know, but which one are you actually talking about, because there’s a big elephant in the room making me anxious because knowing you, you’ll start something about me not-” A hand covers my mouth while his other wraps tighter around my stomach, pressing my back to his chest, careful, however, to not irritate my wound. 

“However many tomorrows we have, Y/N, I will continue to solve the problem that is you not seeing yourself as a priority or important piece to this world. And if one morning you finally wake up and realize just how true that is,” his mouth is next to my ear, my hair being the only things keeping his lips from grazing it. “Then we can move on to solving all the other world’s problems, ok?”

I’m shocked yet not. Taken aback by the sheer genuineness, yet not. He’s being honest. Bucky doesn’t say or promise things lightly when it comes to his passion and affection for those he cares about. 

And sure, we poke and claw at each others nerves, but I know and he knows, we’d take a bullet for the other if the situation called for it. No hesitation. 

And to hear him say it, in such non-surface level way, left no room for uncertainty that he meant it.

“Why do you care so much?” I say so softly, “About me,” almost followed but stayed stuck in my throat like my innerchild was asking the question she so desperately needed the answer to. 

Bucky’s hand had moved to rest across my shoulder practically strapping me to him with both arms now and he relaxed fully. 

“Because I always have and I don’t plan to stop... Not when it comes to you. Goodnight, Y/N…” 

That was all my soul needed to hear before I was pulled into the most peaceful and comforting night of sleep I’ve had in a very, very long time…

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[mariasont]

Office Sleepover 2 - A.H

a/n: had sm fun writing this one yall

im so down bad for him ugh

masterlist

‧₊˚ ✩°｡⋆♡ ⋆˙⟡♡ ⋆˙⟡♡⋆｡°✩˚₊‧

part one here! part three here!

pairings: aaron hotchner x fem!reader

summary: in which reader gets put on a hit-list and has to stay in the office (kind of based off when penelope got put on a hit-list by the dirty dozen)

warnings: 18+ MDNI, reader flashes hotch AGAIN, drinking on government property lmao, drunk reader, suggestive comments

wc: 3.2k

You were restless, to put it simply. Every conceivable activity within the BAU had been exhausted, and you had explored every nock and cranny of the office, leaving no corner untouched. At this point they should start paying you for tour guides because you'd be an expert.

You were bored, frankly, and lonely--the team had been on a case all week and you were stuck here. How Garcia managed was beyond you--the walls seemed to close in on you as stir craziness took hold. You kept busy with work, offering as much help as possible while staying put, but it really wasn't the same.

You missed the team, and a particular member's absence you felt just a tad more, though you wouldn't admit it. Thankfully, they were supposed to be back any second now. While Penelope had a special place in your heart, the thought of sitting through another round of her and Kevin's awkward flirting was almost too much to bear. Without Hotch to keep it in check, it was all the more excruciating.

"Bye, Kevin," you chimed in unison, your voices intertwining just as the door clicked shut behind him.

Once you were sure he wasn't coming back, you shot Pen a knowing glance, arching an eyebrow as you pointed one of her fuzzy pens at her.

"Ease up on the death stare, will ya?" Penelope chided, as she wheeled her chair back to her computers, her finger twirling towards you. "You get so broody when the boss man's gone."

You lobbed the pen in Penelope's direction. "No," you replied with a huff. "I get broody when the whole team leaves me behind."

"Gasp," Penelope declared, placing a hand over her heart. "Can you believe it? They're genuinely concerned for your well-being. The audacity!"

"Okay, but seriously, what's the bigger priority here--my life or my sanity? Because it's a fine line," you said with a shrug, pushing your chair back dramatically.

But, before the chair could gain any momentum, you found yourself abruptly against the wall, your head cushioned by an unexpected softness. Without a moment to comprehend, your chair was spun, your eyes growing impossibly wide as Hotch's belt appeared abruptly in your line of sight. You raised your eyes to meet his.

"Your life, I would wager," he said evenly, "but then again, I might be a little biased."

You sprang to your feet, too quickly, your foot catching, sending you lurching forward. Almost instantly, Hotch's hand was securing around your arm, preventing you from landing straight on your face.

"Oh, Hotch, sir, hi," you said, flustered and slightly disoriented. "I didn't realize you guys were back."

"We just got back," he said, his hand falling away from your arm, and you hated yourself for how you felt a subtle coolness that replaced the comforting heat of his touch. "Do you have those reports I asked for?"

"Oh, absolutely, they're ready at my desk," you assure. "I'll bring them to your office in a sec."

As he nods and exits, your scoop up your belongings from Penelope's desk, raising a finger. "Don't even say it, Pen."

You ignored the way she cackled as you left, moving to your desk to grab the needed papers. You attention was captured by Spencer and Emily standing by her desk. Without a second thought, you wrapped your arms around them both, pressing them against you.

"Ugh, I missed you guys so much."

They both laugh, their hands taking you in quickly as you lean against them.

Emily grins, ruffling your hair as she nudges you. "A week away and you're this clingy? We'll have the start weaning you off us, huh?"

"Don't tease," Spencer starts, his hand resting on your shoulder, "But out of curiosity, how many times did you check our desks while we were gone?"

"Too many times to count," you admit begrudgingly, a sheepish grin on your face. As you glance up, your eyes catch Hotch's through the glass pane. "Oops, almost forgot why I came down here."

Approaching Hotch's office, you tap on the door frame and enter. "Here ya go, sir." you offer, extending the documents toward him.

Your fingers lightly touch as he takes the papers, and for a moment, you're rooted to the spot, the brief contact sparking a surge of disarray in your senses. God, it's almost beyond belief that one man could have this kind of effect on you.

Hotch nods his acknowledgement. "Thanks," he murmurs. As you pivot to leave, he adds, "Could you sit down for a moment?"

You cast a teasing look over your shoulder. "I hope I'm not in trouble," you say. His expression doesn't change. "Wait, am I? Because that would definitely be enough to push me over the edge, sir."

"No, you're not in trouble," Hotch assures you. "I've received updates concerning your case."

You lowered yourself into the chair, hands perched in your lap, your eyes wide as you met his gaze. "Please tell me it's good news because I'm starting to forget what my own bed feels like."

"You've been here just over a week," Hotch states, matter-of-fact.

You blow out a breath, arms crossed over your chest. "Hotch, it's scary at night."

He clears his throat, "Anyway, it's good news. We've got a lead on the hitman, though it's not the all-clear you're wanting."

"Well, that's something at least," you concede with a nod. "But I don't get why I can't be involved in this investigation."

As Hotch opens his mouth, you jump in, deepening your voice to copy his. "Because you're too close to it."

He regards you steadily, clearly not amused.

"Yup, okay, I'm done, sorry, I'm leaving now," you relent, getting to your feet quickly and striding towards the door, but a hand beats you to it, closing it abruptly and effectively barricading you in.

With a quick turn, you ended up flush against the door, Hotch's hand resting against the wood just above your ear. You felt like you were short-circuiting, your eyes growing wide as they met his. He says your name, but it doesn't quite register--too engrossed in the heady scent of his cologne, the pressing warmth of his body, the nearness of his chest, so close that an inch's movement could mean a soft kiss to his neck. Not like that would be totally inappropriate or anything.

"What?"

"I said, I'm worried about you."

You wanted to kiss him, man, you really wanted to kiss him. You bit the inside of your cheek to refrain from doing so.

"Why?"

It was barely audible, more air than sound, not daring to disturb the space too much, afraid of him suddenly becoming aware of just how close he was.

"You're very quick to make light of things, to make jokes, but I'm asking you to be real with me here. What are you feeling?"

His hand left the door, settling on your shoulder, his thumb hovering just shy of the hollow of your neck. Unconsciously, you found yourself leaning into the gentle pressure.

"That sounded sarcastic, Hotch," you noted, your tongue briefly sweeping across your lips, which seemed to dry out as you talked. "You're not implying my jokes need work, are you?"

His lack of response and narrowing eyes made you cave.

"Okay, fine, Hotch. You want the truth? I'm scared, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear? That I have nightmares every night? That I can't sleep?"

Your breaths came faster, teeth meshing tightly as you stared up at your boss. His hand found your cheek, his thumb sketching a path across your skin that ignited a trail of goosebumps over your whole body, making you hyper-aware of your every pore.

"What can I do to help?"

Stay with you, kiss you, fuck you--numerous thoughts ran raced through your thoughts, but none of them seemed wholly appropriate.

"N-Nothing, Hotch, really, I'm okay. It's not something that can be fixed, which is why I didn't say anything. Plus, everyone on this team has been through worse. I can handle it. I'm tougher than I look."

"I know you are, but I—," his words were cut short, a sudden knock at the door silencing him mid-sentence.

His hands fell away from you, but the sensation lingered, the heat of his touch seeming to brand you, marking where he had been. You ran a hand through your hair in an attempt regain some form of composure, just as he opened the door to reveal JJ.

Her eyes darted between the two of you, finally focusing on Hotch. "Sorry, guys, I have that footage from the press conference--is that what you needed?"

"Yes, right." Hotch nodded, pulling the door open further for her, then returning his attention to you, observing your flushed cheeks and uneven breath. "We'll continue this later, okay?"

"Yeah," you exhaled sharply before ducking out of the room.

You need to get a grip, or maybe a Xanax, probably both.

Once the office had emptied, leaving you alone, you sat pitifully on your bed. It was Friday, but there was not much cause for celebration when you were stuck here, surrounded by stale office air. You sprawled out on the mattress, tracing the patterns of the popcorn ceiling overhead. If someone didn't figure out this hitman situation, you were going to take him out yourself.

Not really, that would definitely be a death wish. Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of muffled shuffling outside your door. Sitting up, you slid into your slippers and stepped out into the hallway.

"There she is!"

You snickered as Penelope extended her arms with jazz hands, while JJ and Emily lifted their arms to show off their wine stash. Gratefully grabbing a glass from Emily, you pulled them all into a group hug. "I can't help but feel like we're about to be the subject of a very specific memo from HR after this."

Giggles from JJ accompanied the wine pouring as you stepped back. "Hotch is surprisingly on board we this—encouraged it even. Can you believe it?"

Warmth dusted over your cheeks at the thought. You wanted to kiss him even more, if that was even possible.

"Trust me," Penelope insisted, shaking her head as she paused for a drink. "I wouldn't dare cross HR again. Once was more than enough."

You wanted to say you were a classy gal, confident in your ability to drink responsibly--it was only wine, after all, not Everclear. But as the night went on, your voice rose a decibel too high, your balance a bit unreliable, and your displays of affection way too unrestrained.

You were already a touchy person, ask any of your team members, but with a few drinks, you're giving high school sweethearts a run for their money in the PDA department.

Your arms were flung around JJ's neck, peppering her cheek with kisses as you sang along to whatever music Pen was playing in between smooches. JJ was laughing, tilting backward on her heels, nearly knocking you both over.

"I love you guys. So so much." you said, each word stretched and muddled as you reached out to Penelope, who happily linked her fingers with yours.

"You are so drunk!" Emily accused, her palms squishing your face as she chuckled.

"'M not," you protested, words stifled by compressed cheeks.

She freed your face to grab more wine, Penelope not far behind, as you situated yourself on your desk chair.

"You know who I also love?" you questioned to no one in particular as you slid your phone out of your back pocket. "Morgan, Reid, Dave, and--,"

You paused, your nose crinkling as you bit down hard on your tongue.

"And?" Penelope pressed, brows raised as she looked at you expectedly.

"Hmm?" You hummed innocently, blowing a kiss her way as you shrugged off her question. "I'm gonna call Morgan."

Your eyes darted down to your phone, only to find the room swirling like a carousel. It took a heartbeat to register--someone's voice was already coming from the speaker.

"Hello? Morgan? How'd you know I was going to call you?"

"It's Hotch."

Your eyes grew comically large, a hand flying over your mouth, smothering the laughter that threatened to fall. "Hotch! It is so late! Why are you calling me?"

You shushed the group with a finger to your lips, the girls' curious eyes on you as JJ practically crawled towards you to eavesdrop.

"You called me." He paused. "Are you okay?"

"Hotch," his name was more of a whine than anything as you tossed your head back. "I'm fine, like, the definition of A-Okay. I'm with my friends and we're all kinds of okay."

You shot Emily a thumbs up.

"Good. Okay." Another pause. "Maybe drink some water, yeah? No more wine."

You gasped. "Agent Hotchner, I am a federal agent of the government. I know when I should be cut off."

"Oh, my god, get her off the phone."

You don't know who said it, but it sent you spiraling into another round of giggles, the phone slipping through your fingers while JJ pounced on it.

"Hey!"

She held up a hand, keeping the device just out of reach.

"Yeah, she's pretty drunk." JJ said, then frowned. "Hotch, listen she's more of a lightweight than we realized." You slumped against the chair. "Yes, sir. Goodnight, sir."

JJ ended the call and placed it back into your hands. "I cannot wait until you remember this in the morning," she sang, before casting a glance to the others. "Also, a heads-up--Will's almost here."

"No!" It came out louder than intended, almost a shout, as you stood, sending Spencer's pens tumbling. "Whoopsie." You latched onto Penelope, murmuring, "Stay here, don't leave me."

Penelope's laughter rang out, her hands cradling your head. "Worry not, I've set the security guy straight--if you get even a scratch, I'll make him regret the day he was born."

"See, this is why you're my favorite," you whispered.

"Heard that."

Will eventually texted JJ, letting her know he had arrived. As the they waited by the elevator, the doors slid open to reveal Hotch standing there. A squeal escaped you, matched by his single raised eyebrow surveying your condition.

Your cheeks were painted a rosy tint, hair in a delightful tangle, and your shirt hanging askew off your shoulder--you were an adorable spectacle of disorder, and he found himself suppressing the small smile that threatened to reveal his amusement as the other girls filed into the elevator.

He had made them promise not to leave until he got there, not keen on the idea of you being left alone like this. It might have been an exaggeration, but when you butt dialed him and he heard the sound of your slurred speech it had him envisioning all sorts of worst-case scenarios. Sure, he had seen you drink during team nights out, but nothing like this.

"Hotch!" You shouted, moving to him with a rapidity that might be, well definitely, was ill-advised.

He stood motionless as you looped your arms around his neck. You smelled so nice--a sweet hint of vanilla instead of the anticipated alcohol. After a brief hesitation, his hands slowly found their way to your waist.

"What are you doing here, silly?" You ask, pulling back just enough to see his face. "Wait a second, please don't say we have a case."

A subtle smile played on his face, his hand not budging from your back. "No, there's no case."

"Oh, good," you murmured, your head bobbing lightly in approval. The light touch of your fingers at the base of his neck spread a warmth through him. "You want a drink? I think there's still some wine left."

"No, I'm fine," he said, clearing his throat and taking a step back. "I think you need to get to bed."

Your hands lingered at his neck, softly exploring his hair as you looked up with a smile that made his pulse race unexpectedly.

"Is that an order as my boss or a suggestion as my friend?"

He raised his brow. "Both?"

"Well, okay," you shrugged as you took a step back. "Wanna see my room? I don't think you've seen it yet. Everyone else has."

Without giving him a chance to object, you dashed down the hallway. He trailed behind with reluctance, knowing just how dangerous this could be for him. He was all too aware that he shouldn't be here, let alone in your room in your current, wine-fueled state.

You fumbled for the light, fingers slipping before finding the switch as you stumbled into the cramped room. It was pink. Very pink. The pullout couch was lost beneath a mountain of pillows, excessive by any standard. Your closet was bursting, and a collection of gadgets and gizmos had overtaken the room, but he liked it, a lot.

Your collapse onto the bed sent pillows scattering to the floor, his mind wandered about the unseen details of your bedroom at home, and even more so, the thought of what a shared space between you two might look like.

A sigh escaped him as he stood over you. "How about changing into your pajamas first, hm?"

"No thank you."

"You're going to hate yourself if you wake up in jeans tomorrow."

"Fine." You pouted, propping yourself up on your elbows. "Top right drawer please."

He shot you a look but obliged anyway. There was something about that puckered out bottom lip that made him think he'd do just about anything you asked, like he was putty in your hands. Pulling out the most conservative pair of pajamas from the sparse selection, he made a mental note to ask about that later.

"Thank you," you said with a smile. He really liked your smile. "You know, you're really such a nice person, Hotch. Or—Can I call you Aaron? Just tonight?"

He felt a sudden emptiness in his chest as the air was knocked out. "You can call me Aaron. Just tonight."

A high-pitched squeal escaped you as you began shedding your clothes. He offered a stifled cough, quickly averting his gaze and nudging the door closed with his free hand.

"Well, Aaron," you said plainly, "I really like you."

The effort it took for him not to pivot on his heel was immense, particularly when your voice sweetened like honey at the mention of his name.

"You're a great boss."

"I like you too, Agent."

"No, you don't, well, I mean—you can turn around now," you said. "You like me, but I really like you. It's not the same."

As he turned to face you, he could sense his cock twitching in his pants, a physical reaction to the sight of you fumbling with your shirt, your tits exposed in full view, as if begging to be touched.

"Christ," he hissed, gripping the ends of your shirt and yanking down. He was sure you were going to hate yourself in the morning. "You're not making sense, and I think you need to sleep it off."

"Yeah," you replied, your eyes warmly meeting his as you gave him a lopsided smile. "You know, I don't think I've ever seen you in such casual clothes, Aaron. You look very handsome."

He needed to get you to bed before he did something he'd regret. He softly nudged your shoulders backward, offering no verbal response. You surrendered to the motion with complaint, your remaining strength insufficient for anything else.

Softly, he settled to blankets around you, taking a moment to study you, with the intention of memorizing you completely (even the part of you that was far too drunk).

"Goodnight, Aaron."

He summoned all his restraint to keep from crashing his lips into yours. He smoothed back your hair, allowing himself that as he shot you a tired smile. "Goodnight."

He hadn't even touched the doorknob when your plea reached his ears. "Aaron, I—, will you stay with me?"

And who was he to deny you anything?

next part!

taglist: @chronicallybubbly

[saltnsugarbear]

Bob who you have to teach intimacy to.

cw: discusses child sex work i suppose? sudo-coercion, I have no actual idea how drug dealing works so bear with me, implied size kink, marking, briefly mentioned fwb idea, cockwarming

if anyone wants to keep treating my inbox to Bob thoughts I'm BEGGING

also i could go into how I think Bob like,,,,, took his drugs but I refrained but I think I could yap forever I have Bob brainworms bad

I don't think he's a full virgin. I think Bob learned very quickly, some easy ways to get meth. Especially as an attractive young man. It's something he learned in his teens and it's tragic he did.

This being said, he's never really,,,,, He's got a difficult relationship with sex. It's maybe something he'd have to work on with a therapist and then his partner. He's given shitty blowjobs and handjobs enough times. On both genitalia.

I don't know if I can see him actually fucking someone for meth, but I don't think he had an issue giving handjobs/blowjobs/maybe even just getting facials but this seems like an unlikely transaction for drug dealers to do.

He's a bit,,,,, not alarmed but like,,,,,, he's never really had someone offer to get him off!!! he's surprised when you want to give him a handy!!!!

he finds sex very transactional. he gets you off when he wants something, examples: to order in dinner, maybe asking you to do one of his house chores, asking you get buy him something from the store. and of course it makes you more pliant and its the best time for him to ask you which,,, he doesn't have to get you off for you to want to give him things and he has to learn this the longer you two are dating.

you also get to teach him to take his time. neither of you is in any rush (sometimes you are but you take care of him just long enough to tie him over and he's still learning to feel okay about this). you teach him out to take care of your needs and his and just,,,, be in the moment. and he's absolutely fucking pathetic with it. it's obnoxious (said so fucking kindly).

bob is incredibly handsy, his hands don't stay in one place, alternating between your hips and your chest and your thighs.

he gets to learn what he likes and what he doesn't like. he learns very quickly he likes how his hands look gripping your thighs and the way he can just,,,,,, encompass you,,,,,

he also likes how you squirm as he slowly starts to push in until he's buried to the hilt.

I also think Bob's super into cockwarming. he likes having that physical intimacy and closeness even without having to fuck you. he's also a hand-holder during sex and I just,,,, fwb Bob who holds your hands but guys it's just to blow off steam i swear it means nothing.

when you introduce him to leaving hickeys, oh he's a little fiend I swear. not only does he nearly beg for you to give him some, he loves to leave them on you and he's constantly going over the same spots cause he doesn't want them to disappear <//3

just teaching Bob to enjoy sex and his body and yours in a way that's healthy and just

bob reynolds in my room NEOW

[heartfullofleeches]

While the psychological mindfuxking Host puts Darling through in order to wear them down into being his co-host is honestly one of the most fun things to write, I live for Darlings who were never appreciated in their own time and suck up all the praise he gives them for their talents.

Crafty Reader who also dabbles in a bit of inter decorating winds up on Host's show and their immediate first thought is "Damn, bitch- You host a game show on this stage?"

It's cute- but a little outdated. Where's the passion? The irritatingly bright neon signs that burn their eyes from a mere glance. Potted plants??? Anything??

Normally Host isn't one to tolerate guests that interrupt his opening speech, but as Darling goes off on their tangent Host is left stumped - stupefied, damn near mesmerized by that fire in their eyes. He can't say they aren't wrong either- Props come and go as Host wishes, but the stage is a bit lacking without them. Not contestants don't stick around long enough to point it out, but with his newest and top pick for co-host right in front of him perhaps it's time for a few changes.

"Congratulations! You won today's show Give our fans a big smile and wave goodbye to our losers."

"I won?...but you didn't even ask me any questions."

"Oh, you- If answering questions was the only way to win here no one would."

Darling is whisked away by stage hands into a bedroom- The room is deprived of any furniture beyond a bed, a large chest propped against the farthest wall, and a table upon which an old sewing machine sits. It looks a bit like the one they had back home, but the label is made up of jumbled letters and symbols. How are they supposed to use the darn thing without any supplies anyway?

Darling inspects the chest and finds.... pretty much everything tucked away in their small bedroom, their real bedroom that they use for their projects. No construction paper, though.....

Oh. There's some.

Darling quickly discovers that whatever they require appears in the chest whenever they're vocal with their requests. On occasion, the chest acts without their say and pulls the thought from their mind before they're able to speak. It isn't long before the empty space is fully stylized to their personality and presences. Darling thinks they did a great job. The teddy bear on their bed believes so too.

.....When did that get there?

Darling may have won his show, but Host is the real winner when he see what Darling has done to his stage. Host are extended by another hour....or year with how long he brags to guests about Darling's craftsmanship. Time is a tricky thing to keep track of when the watches you wear flop between ticking backwards or at a snails pace.

"Thoughts on those name plates? Our brilliant co-host made them for you all- Are you lucky? I of course have my own, but- Oh, come now. I know this is top quality work, but there's no need to scream. Give our co-host a hand for all their hard work....Or lose both."

[bellaxgiornata]

Comfortable Here in the Chaos 2:| It's the Heat

Pairing: Jax Teller x fem!friends with benefits!Reader Word Count: 3.9k [Series Masterlist] [Jax Fic Masterlist]

Warnings/tags: 18+; shameless smut, friends with benefits, semi-public sex, slight spanking, the dangers of sundresses, Jax being a menace, slightly rough sex

Summary: With how hot it'd been in Charming all week, you'd been wearing sundresses to help survive the heat at work. But for the past few days, you'd also been teasing Jax in them, and today he'd finally had enough.

a/n: There was so much love on the first part of this 'series' that I literally wrote this one on the same day. And I...may have made an entire list of smutty thots I've had about Jax to fuel some other ones of these if y'all really are enjoying them quite that much, so don't be afraid to let me know. Because I am happy to give y'all more filthy Jax thots of mine. Feedback and reblogs are always appreciated!

Jax Teller one shot tag list: @kmc1989 @steviebbboi @bear-ink @secretlysamcro @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @bonnyclydecat @nutellajade @aria725

“Dammit, Chuckie,” you muttered to yourself.

Running a hand across your forehead, you were hunched over the desk in Teller-Morrow Automotive, your eyes focused on the papers scattered in front of you. Nothing was adding up correctly, so it appeared you'd be spending this afternoon trying to fix the error Chuckie had made earlier when you’d left for your lunch break. Something that happened frequently whenever Gemma disappeared and left him in charge during your breaks, or on the Saturdays you didn't work.

And it only meant more work for you.

Sighing in frustration, you pushed your chair away from the desk and stood up, walking around it and over to the filing cabinet in the corner of the office. The fabric of your sundress lightly brushed along your thighs with each step, the soft material skimming just above the tops of your knees. With how exceptionally hot it had been this week in Charming, you’d chosen to wear a sundress to work for the past three days just to survive the unbearably suffocating stale hot air while working in this office. And even that hadn't offered you much relief.

Reaching a hand out, you opened the drawer of the filing cabinet, your eyes scanning the row of labeled folders inside as the noise of the auto shop filled the air around you–your usual background noise while you worked. Bending over, your fingers lightly ran over the tops of each folder as you surveyed Gemma's handwriting in search of what you were looking for. After a minute you found the folder, both of your hands pulling it apart to look inside. Except it was completely empty.

Great, so he’d also mis-filed the paperwork now, too. 

This little error was now going to take a lot longer for you to fix, and that thought alone annoyed you further. You had inventory to order before your shift ended–new parts that Bobby had given you a list of just this morning. You didn’t have time to play Where Did Chuckie Put the Paperwork This Time. 

“How am I supposed to get anything done with you in here like this?”

Startling at the sound of Jax’s voice, your head whipped over your shoulder from where you were bent over the opened filing drawer. Jax was leaning against the closed door that led to the garage on the opposite end of the small office, his arms crossed over his chest. There was a slight flush to his cheeks from having been out in the heat, but your eyes quickly focused on the veins in his forearms. Briefly your mind flickered back to the memory from a week ago, when you were face down on his dorm bed at the clubhouse as he fucked you into the mattress, the only thing in your line of sight being those enticing veins along his strained muscles. 

But as your eyes shifted back up to his face, you became completely aware of Jax’s own gaze lingering along your ass where you were bent over. His bottom lip rolled back between his teeth in clear appreciation of it, his eyes not even bothering to leave the round curves that were on display. The look on his face told you exactly where his mind was, and suddenly yours was no longer on the situation Chuckie had created anymore.

“What do you mean, Jackson?” you asked coyly, still looking over your shoulder at him.

Uncrossing one of his arms, he gestured a hand at you. “You. Dressed like this. All goddamn week,” he answered. “It’s distracting as hell and you damn well know it.” 

Grinning, you returned your attention to the filing cabinet, rifling through a few more folders. Not that you were looking for anything anymore, but he didn't know that. You just liked the way his eyes were on you right now and you wanted to keep them there.

“Don't know what you're talking about, Jax,” you replied, pretending to sort through the folders. “It's just been so hot this week, figured I'd be more comfortable in a dress.”

“Bullshit.”

Your grin grew wider at his response before you purposefully pushed your hips further out, giving him a prime view of your ass. The hem of your dress inched up at the movement, baring more of the back of your thighs as it came dangerously close to the bottom of your ass.

The sound of a lock clicking met your ears, your brows drawing curiously together. Just as you glanced back over your shoulder to see what it was, you saw Jax had moved from his place against the door. He must have locked the one leading into the garage, because now he was closing the blinds on the window that overlooked it.

“And what do you think you're doing, Jax?” you asked him.

He casually sauntered over towards the other door in the office next, flipping the lock on it with that same, quiet click. His lips curled up into a smirk as he continued to watch you slightly straighten in front of the filing cabinet. 

“Giving us some privacy, baby,” he answered easily, voice smooth and even.

Your eyes tracked him across the office, watching as he closed the blinds on the window that overlooked the parking lot next. It didn't take you much longer to realize what he was getting at after that.

“Jax,” you began, standing fully upright again as he slowly made his way around the desk and back over towards you. “I'm in the middle of work.”

“Yeah,” he answered, that smirk not leaving his face as he nodded. “I can see that, darlin’. But it kinda looks like you could use a break.”

Your arms crossed over your chest now, the gesture drawing Jax’s gaze down to the way you had just created more cleavage for him to stare at. The look that crossed his eyes–one filled with obvious desire and want–had your body instantly reacting. 

“Can't have my favorite office girl getting too overworked,” he continued, a teasing lilt to his words.

Slowly, his gaze traveled up from the scoop neckline of your dress to eventually meet yours again. A tension filled the already sweltering office, the heat of it only making your mouth run dry. Jax reached a hand out, crossing the space between you both before the tips of his index and middle finger lightly traced the length of your jawline down to your chin, the gentle caress an extreme juxtaposition to the look of sheer lust in his eyes.

“You're already lookin’ a little stressed, baby,” he continued, the words far softer now. “But maybe I could help with that.”

His thumb brushed over your plush bottom lip before his hand changed its trajectory. His fingers leisurely slid down the column of your throat, his eyes following the path of them as they traveled down over the swell of your breasts. Breath coming in sharper, your lips parted as his large hand paused, taking its time kneading your left breast as his throat visibly bobbed with his own hard swallow. The heat from his palm deliciously traveled through both the fabric of your dress and bra, the feel of it causing wetness to pool between your thighs.

Eventually his hand continued its descent, traveling its way down along your ribcage as a slight shudder ran through you. When he slipped it around towards the dip in your lower back, only then did his focus shift from his hand and back up to you, the faintest hint of a smirk returning before his entire palm landed on the soft curve of your ass. Giving it a firm squeeze, he simultaneously tugged you forward towards himself.

“You realize the garage is open right now, right?” you whispered.

His tongue darted out, running over his lip as that smirk grew into a grin. “Yeah,” he answered.

Jax’s hand slid down your ass, making its way up beneath the thin fabric of your dress. A soft groan passed between his lips as his rough palm skimmed over your bare ass, taking his time appreciating the flesh beneath his fingers. His eyebrows rose back at you, that grin deviously spreading wider.

“That a thong, darlin’?” he questioned. 

“Jackson.” 

His name came out with a scolding note, which only had an amused huff falling from him as his hand continued to roam over your bare ass beneath the dress. Both of you knew that you weren’t going to resist him in the end, but you still felt like someone needed to have some semblance of rationality.

“It’s hot as shit in here and there’s a garage full of mechanics and Sons just past that wall,” you pointed out, emphasizing your words with a sharp gesture towards the garage. “This is hardly the time and place.”

“And yet–” 

Jax tilted his head to the side, his eyes narrowing contemplatively as his hand left your ass. Moving beneath the fabric of your dress, his fingers slipped over your hip and fell between your thighs. Taken by surprise, a soft gasp slipped out of you when you felt him cup you over your panties. The moment he slid his fingers gently back and forth just the once, he grinned at you triumphantly–like he’d just found what he was looking for.

“You’re wet, baby,” he told you. 

His hand slid out from beneath your dress, the material left awkwardly bunched up along your thighs. His expression turned cocky as he eyed you, one of his brows still raised at you as if he’d just proven his point with that alone. 

“Jax–it’s almost three in the afternoon,” you reminded him. “What if someone comes to the office to drop off their car?”

“Then I guess you better be quiet, huh?” he teased, his hand reaching out to grab your wrist. “Besides, I locked both doors.”

He tugged on your wrist, pulling you away from the filing cabinets. Relenting, you took a few steps forward towards him, your eyes hesitantly watching him. He had something particular on his mind, you could see it.

Your feet halted when he stopped tugging on your wrist, releasing it from his hold before he stepped around behind you. Wordlessly, his hand rested along your lower back as his expression shifted to something of a silent question, one clearly asking if you wanted him to continue. But of course you did, even if you knew it was quite likely that the entire garage might be about to hear you.

When you didn't stop him, Jax's hand on your back urged you forward with just enough force to get your feet moving again. You continued until your thighs bumped into the back of the desk in the office, the one still scattered with the papers Chuckie had messed up. Still completely silent, you felt the flat of Jax’s hand run up the length of your spine until it came to rest along the nape of your neck. He pressed against it firmly and you immediately complied, bending forward over the desk as your ass simultaneously pressed back against the front of him.

You could feel it. The growing bulge in his jeans now cradled between the cushion of your ass. Even though you’d been protesting the time and place a minute ago, you couldn’t resist the urge to press back into it, grinning when you heard the soft groan fall out of him in response. But then his hand on the back of your neck held you more firmly against the desk, your cheek pressed against the paperwork that had been giving you a headache not that long ago.

“Don’t go gettin’ any ideas, baby,” he warned you. “Cause you’re about to learn what happens when you tease me with these fucking little dresses of yours.” He paused, his tongue running over his teeth behind his closed lips. “Now stay there.” 

His hand left the back of your neck, but the tone of his voice was enough to keep you from resisting. Though that didn’t stop you from straining to look back at him behind you, watching as his hands gripped the material of your dress before he bunched it in his hands and hiked it up over your waist. 

“I told you, Jackson,” you said, “I wasn’t teasing you. I’m wearing them because of the heat.”

His eyes shifted over to meet yours, his expression remaining steadfast. You’d been so focused on him that you hadn’t realized what he was doing until you felt it–the sharp, decisive smack of his palm against your bare ass. A gasp slipped out of you as you slid just a fraction along the top of the desk at the impact, the papers shifting beneath you. A second later, the stinging turned into a pleasant burn as your eyes held his.

“And I told you that’s bullshit,” he shot back, his hand running over the curve of your ass to smooth the place he’d just hit. “Isn't this what you were hoping would happen?”

One of his shoes slipped between your feet, kicking them apart as he stood behind you. Your eyes remained on him, completely unable to look away from what he was doing.

“Don't tell me you haven't been in here all week teasing me,” he husked. “I've seen you eyeing me through the damn windows in here. I've seen the look on your face.”

His hand stopped smoothing over your ass to hook a finger in the fabric of your thong before he pulled it off to the side and out of the way. Your hands curled into fists against the surface of the desk, anticipation coursing through you as you watched him begin to undo his belt buckle next. 

“You're wearing those fucking things cause you wanted me to come in here,” he continued, slowly undoing the button of his jeans before lowering his zipper, “and bend you over this goddamn desk. That's what you wanted, isn't it, darlin’?”

“Jax, I wasn’t–”

You broke off on a sharp intake of breath when you heard him spit onto his hand before he was rubbing it along you, getting you ready for him. A soft moan fell out of you at the feel of his fingers before you could stop it. Not even seconds later you felt the thick tip of him rubbing against your entrance and your eyelids slowly lowered. For a moment, you completely forgot where you were as another low moan passed between your lips, the sound just barely audible over the noise of tools from the garage.

“Careful, darlin’,” Jax warned, a hint of amusement in his tone. “Unless you want everyone out there to know exactly what I’m doing to you right now.”

His words were sobering, your eyes opening once more from where your cheek was still resting along your desk. Immediately you were met with that smug grin on his face as he stood over you from behind. He huffed out a laugh at how quickly you’d quieted before he finally pushed himself into you in one fluid thrust. Eyes rolling partially back at the feel of him, your breath caught in your throat at him suddenly stretching you so damn good. 

But he didn’t give you long to adjust before he dragged his cock out so torturously slowly only to slam himself back into you so hard that the front of your thighs banged loudly into the metal of the desk. Hands balled so tight along the surface of it, you could feel your nails biting into your palm as you grit your teeth together in an attempt to hold back the cry that almost flew out of you at that brutal thrust. 

“Fuck, your pussy’s always so goddamn tight, baby,” he hissed out.

Jax began to set a firm, unforgiving pace with his hips, one of his hands landing onto the desk behind your head with a solid thunk, the sound quickly followed by the noise of a document being crumpled beneath his hand. The noise just barely registered in your ears, but you didn’t give a shit right now, not when his other hand gripped your hip so tight you could feel it as he held you in place. 

Jax savagely buried his cock inside of you over and over, his pace never wavering as he fucked you with a relentless passion, the sounds of his grunts causing you to clench and squeeze his cock. After a few minutes, you felt him lower his front to mold himself against your back, his hot breaths now falling over the side of your face.

Trapped under the weight of him now, you were pressed so hard against the desk that you couldn’t move. The roughness of his leather kutte kept rubbing against your bare skin each time he slammed into you, the coolness of it a pleasant contrast to how you were currently burning up. Sweat began accumulating over your skin as the desk beneath you both began to slide with a soft screech along the floor each time his hips rammed roughly into your ass, your thighs still loudly slamming into the metal of it. 

His cock kept hitting you so deep in this position that he kept reaching that spot. That spot which had you whimpering quietly under him, fighting to keep yourself from making too much noise as the guys in the garage continued working and talking just beyond the office. A breathy laugh fell out of Jax right beside your ear, the sound causing your pussy to involuntarily tighten around him. 

“This is the quietest you’ve ever been, baby,” he grunted out against your ear between thrusts. “Sure you don’t want them to hear how much you love this cock?”

“You’re such a–” you broke off on a particularly deep thrust, just as Jax’s teeth sunk into the curve between your neck and your shoulder, “–cocky ass sometimes.”

His responding chuckle vibrated against your skin as he kept thrusting into you, your eyes growing half-lidded the longer he continued. His teeth sunk into your neck next, and that delicious wave of pleasure began creeping its way over you each time he buried himself a little deeper. You were getting closer to your release, beginning to grow lightheaded from the pleasure and the heat in the office alike. No doubt it would smell like sex and sweat in here by the time you’d both finished–something you wouldn’t be able to hide.

His hand gripped your hip even tighter, his fingers digging deep into your flesh as his own thrusts began to lose their consistency. He was getting closer himself, you could tell by the way he was moving and the grunts that were falling into your ear between the soft kisses he’d started placing at the base of your jaw. 

“You close, baby?” he murmured against your skin. “Gonna come for me?”

He was still pressed over the back of you, the desk continuing to shift along the floor–though not nearly as much as it had been with his earlier forceful thrusts. You could only nod in response along the desk, a soft hum coming from you as you kept your teeth grit tight together.

His hand released your hip, sliding around to the front of you as his middle finger began rubbing your clit, giving you that extra little push. Your eyes snapped shut instantly, a strangled noise getting caught in your throat. 

“There you go,” he encouraged, his lips brushing along your neck with the words. “Now you're feeling good, huh?”

“Shit, Jax,” you whined through gritted teeth.

“Yeah, baby?” he breathed out. “You wanna say that a little louder?”

But you couldn’t speak, too afraid that you'd open your mouth and spill out all the cries of pleasure you were fighting down. He damn well knew what he was doing right now, especially as his finger kept rubbing along your clit. 

It only took a few more deep thrusts into you before you suddenly felt yourself coming hard on his cock. Turning your face into whatever document was beside you, you forced down the scream that threatened to fly out of you. The noise from the auto shop barely drowned out the obscene sound of skin on skin in the office as Jax continued to fuck you, chasing after his own release as you came undone beneath him. 

He was clearly too far gone himself to remark on how silent you were as you bit your lip to keep from making too much noise. But by the time you’d made it to the other side of your climax, you felt him abruptly bury himself so deep inside of you with an animalistic grunt beside your ear that you knew he was there before you felt it. Warm spurts of his release steadily filled you as he came, groaning beside your ear as his hips gave a few more sharp snaps while he finished inside of you. 

When he finally emptied inside of you, you could feel his chest heaving against your back. His cock still fully seated in you, you lay there trying to catch your breath yourself, your eyelids fluttering. 

“Fucking shit,” Jax breathed out, panting hard. His mouth still hovered beside your ear, his warm breath still brushing along your cheek. “Fucking hot as hell in here.”

Laying there bent over your desk, his tattooed forearm was the only thing you could see. A soft, tired laugh fell out of you at the truth of his words. The room did in fact feel ten degrees hotter after that.

“Yeah,” you murmured, still blissed out along the desk. “That didn’t help with the heat.”

Jax huffed at your comment before he leaned forward further, pressing his lips to your temple, letting them linger longer than necessary. You’d noticed him occasionally giving you these tender little gestures–something you assumed was due to your friendship in conjunction with the sex.

“Helped with somethin’ else, though,” he countered.

Opening your mouth, you’d been about to respond, but the sound of the door handle turning caught both of your attention. Jax groaned quietly before he slipped himself out of you, beginning to put himself back together behind you. As the door handle was jiggled more firmly again, you pushed yourself up from the top of the desk, readjusting your panties before tugging your dress back down. With a frown, you noticed the mess you’d both just made of your work, but the voice that came from the other side of the door had your eyes widening in shock.

“Why the hell is the goddamn door locked when we’re still open?”

“Goddamit,” Jax muttered under his breath.

With a horrified look, you glanced over at Jax beside you while your hands frantically smoothed your dress down. “Why the fuck did it have to be your mother?” you whispered harshly. “She’s absolutely going to know what just happened in here.”

Buckling his belt, Jax shrugged as a lazy smile that was half-apologetic and half-entertained spread over his lips. “Dunno, baby,” he answered. “But this is all your fucking fault for wearing those damn dresses. So I'll let you deal with my mother.”

Jaw dropping at the audacity of him, you watched as he sent you a wink before turning towards the door leading back to the garage. Without a backwards glance, he left you standing there in the office looking just as disheveled as your desk while Gemma’s voice called through the door once more.

[lixies-favorite-cookie]

hang the moon ◦ l.f

-going through the ages of time with felix, from when you told him you were pregnant to seeing him braid your baby's hair.

@feelikecinderella I hope you like it it isn't something I usually write, but I adored writing it so thank you so so much for the request ♡

Paring ◦ Dad!Lee Felix x Pregnant!Reader

Words ◦ 4,506(this was originally supposed to be 1,000 words 💀)

Genre ◦ Fluff, Dad!Lixie headcanons, MY FIRST REQUEST MWAHAHA.

Warnings ◦ Felix being the sweetest man in the whole world, super unrealistic ngl, descriptions about pain, crying, reader being kinda moody, sexual content but its literally like two lines and it just says that you give him head and him giving you an orgasm no details at all, felix being hot asf, felix being a model father, a few big bad fuck words, I'm 19 i dont know how pregnancy works so bear with me babes💀, I know their has to be at LEAST 12 spelling errors, not edited (forgive me I have no time) uhhh nothing else I don't think

A/N ◦ I love this so much it was so cute and I stand by the fact if my husband isn't like this with kids I'm not having one (also is anybody else traumatized by their present absent dads my dad was always in my life and I love him to death great father terrible husband never did anything to help my mom out which makes me really scared to have kids can anyone relate?) I just want to apologize in advance for my rambling tendency please forgive me 🙏 Also this isn't in actual bullet point because Tumblr is stupid.

~cookiecreates 🍪

Mommy-to-be!Reader who gets that feeling all mothers get when another body is currently being knitted together inside them. The month you missed your period also helped with the suspicion, but the three pregnancy tests with two thick pink lines screaming at you really confirm your hypotheses that you are indeed pregnant, and it is 100% Felixes.

Mommy-to-be!Reader who is first overwhelmed by all the thoughts that have gathered in your head—the preparations, the options—if you want to keep the baby or not, what are you going to do if he doesn't want to? Oh no, you didn't think about what you would do if he didn't want to keep the baby. How would he react? Your overwhelm quickly changed to an anxiety that bubbled in your stomach when you thought of all the possible outcomes of what could happen to your relationship because of one simple accident. No matter how secure your relationship with Felix is, it's terrifying to think that he might leave, seeing his dreams of being an idol as more important than being a dad.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who was just sitting on the couch fiddling with his computer, when you walk in with your tear-stained face and trembling hands, he immediately goes to comfort mode. "What is it, darling whats w-" he stops in his tracks, seeing the test in your hands and definitely seeing the thick pink lines that tell him you're pregnant...

Daddy-to-be!Felix whose immediate reaction is to gather you up in his arms and twirl you around in the air, overwhelmed by a feeling of unadulterated joy. His whole face is lit up like a Christmas tree, really making his sunshine title shine through.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who can’t really believe it, “Your pregnant.” “Apparently” “Oh my gosh, we're pregnant.” “I don't think that's how that works.” You chuckle, still in mild denial. “Oh yeah, it is part of my DNA is currently inside of you.” He stops, really letting it sink in. “Holy shit, we're going to have a baby! You don't think either of you has ever smiled so big in your lives. 

Daddy-to-be!Felix who goes and tells the group the next day, too ecstatic to keep it to himself.

Uncle-to-be!Group who congratulates the hell out you and Felix, promising to take care of the baby any time you two need a babysitter. Cue spontaneous gift-giving as well; one day you find a stroller on your front porch from Chan, a box of baby clothes from Han, and a diaper bag from Minho, all on the same day.

Uncle-to-be!Chan who promises to spoil the hell out of your little sunshine, letting Felix rant about all his fantasies, how he's going to be the best dad, how you're going to be a wonderful mom, how he's going to buy her the cutest clothes, and how- Chan loves Felix, but he stopped listening after the 25th compliment about how wonderful you are doing with your pregnancy.

Mommy-to-be!Reader who figures out that Han's girlfriend, your best friend, is also pregnant, so you won't have to deal with your pregnancy alone, while Felix is understanding and supportive; he is a guy after all, and some things like how your boobs hurt and are oddly getting bigger, he just won't understand, and that's okay because at least you have a friend who you can rant about your boobies too.

Mommy-to-be!Reader who promises not to tell anyone about Han's girlfriend's pregnancy. Due to her request, she and Han have already agreed that they are planning a very big event to tell the boys, and she doesn't want it to be spoiled because of your loose lips.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who's so gentle with you, even during the days when your bump is so little, it's almost nonexistent, always asking if you're okay or if you need some food, water, or if the baby is okay? Is she hungry? Maybe thirsty? You have to remind him that the baby is nothing more than a gathering of cells right now and can't partially talk.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who guarantees that your baby is a girl and no amount of convincing can persuade him he's definitely projecting.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who would refuse to let you get up from nuzzling his face in your practically flat stomach. "Felix, I have to pee." "Do you want me to carry you to the bathroom?" He looks up from your tummy with big boba eyes. You deadpan. "Yeah, okay, you're right. You've got this." Basically, giving you little praise hand emojis🙌, even though his worried eyes stare you down all the way to the bathroom. 

Daddy-to-be!Felix who sends 'how are my girls doing' texts every day at practice, "You know, you don't actually know if it's a girl or not." "I have a feeling."

Daddy-to-be!Felix who treasures you even as you sob into his chest about your nightmares from the Euphoria TikToks you've watched about parents whose relationships crumbled because of having a baby, he dusts kisses over your face, whispering promise after promise on your skin that no matter what relationship won't crumble, this baby is going to make your relationship stronger, closer, better. He loves you too much, just like how he would love you if you were a worm and how he would kiss the prettiest person in the room with the choice between you or the prettiest person in the room because the prettiest person in the room is you (all true conversations you've had in between sobbing sessions).

Daddy-to-be!Felix who deals with all your shit with a smile on his face because he understands how hard it is to carry a fuckabigillion pound baby in your belly, so if you feel like yelling at him because he's home late, then crying in his arms because you regret yelling at him, begging him for forgiveness, he'll do both gladly. Not the forgiveness part; he doesn't forgive you because you didn't need it; he was never mad at you in the first place.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who starts getting concerned when your belly starts getting bigger at a faster rate than the average rate of time that one's belly gets bigger.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who shuts down every accusation that he's been doing research on your pregnancy and that he just happened to know the statistics about rates in which baby bumps grow (what can you say, he's a smart guy🤷)

Daddy-to-be!Felix who makes you promise to tell him all the days that your ultrasounds are on so he can make sure everything with you and his little princess is okay, especially since your bump is getting so big so fast, which he just happened to know and definitely did not do research about.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who gives you the best princess treatment all the time without fail. You don't like your nails; the money is on the counter for a new pair. You want to go shopping for maternity clothes because your jeans are starting to get too tight; he's at the door with his card and a big smile on his face, practically skipping out the door to give you the best day of your life. You want him to hold your bags as you walk around the mall, spending his money on anything you think looks even remotely cute; he'll do it with a sparkle in his eye. Your feet hurt from walking all day with this watermelon-sized child in your stomach; he'll lean down on his knees and stay there, rubbing your feet for hours. No matter what, even if he's exhausted from practice, his girls come first. Which ties into...

Daddy-to-be!Felix who demands time off. Demands it or he's done, leaving the team. (He's not actually going to, but he needs to let the company know he's not going to take their shit). His girls always come first. Reluctantly, they agree that he can take a 4-week break while you are pregnant and a 6-month leave after the baby comes. He glares at them before realizing that that's a pretty good chunk of time, but he's relentless, folding his arms in front of his chest, "and I get to leave whenever they need me." "I don't know about that." Daddy Bear mode activated. The woman trembles, looking at him. "Okay," she mutters reluctantly. Back into teddy bear mode. "Thank you so much. I hope you have a beautiful rest of your day." He turns and walks away like he didn't just make this lady shit her pants. (i highly doubt this is actually how this works but idrc this is called a fanFICTION for a reason )

Daddy-to-be!Felix who doesn't mind one bit doing the dishes and sweeping the floor as long as he sees you safe and sound in your bed, snoring away with your legs stuffed between a fluffy pillow.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who went with you to one of your ultrasounds, and ended up with only 10 minutes to get ready before a photoshoot. He had never felt so many glares in one room. Newsflash: It was worth it, even though they had to rearrange the whole schedule just for him. Han sent him a smile, knowing exactly how he felt.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who gets the worst cuteness aggression as you waddle around.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who just holds you when you burst into tears, feeling so useless as you cry from the pain, not knowing what to do when you start balling because the weight of holding a baby beginning to be too much to bear, so he just holds you, not being able to keep the tears that swarm his vision at bay, especially when he holds your bump, feeling how heavy it is just for him; he couldn't even imagine how heavy it is to carry that around inside of you.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who calls his mom right after just to thank her for going through all the shit of baring a child because he sees how hard it is for you and literally can't believe women all around the world have been going through that for all of time, it genuinely baffles him, he trips out about it for a hot minute.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who takes it up as his personal mission to make you feel like the prettiest woman on the planet when you're with him, especially since he can tell you feel insecure with all the changes your body is making. He sees them, notices them, he doesn't mind them at all, what he minds is how much they are hurting you and he just can't have that. Let's just say the amount of kisses and orgasms he has given you in the past 6 hours makes you feel like the hottest bitch in the world for about 4 weeks after.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who convinces you not to do a gender reveal because he wants it to be a surprise, you are hesitant because you don't like not knowing which gender to buy certain clothes, but you know you currently have a closet full of both baby boy and baby girl clothes because of ✨princess treatment ✨and with a black card and pregnancy hormones, all the clothes at the mall looked cute. What can you say? You're just a girl. 🤷

Daddy-to-be!Felix whose biggest fear is that he's going to be away when you have the baby, and he's not going to be able to comfort you through the most memorable and painful time of your life. It quite literally brings tears to his eyes. You comfort him, telling him that it's okay even if he isn't there. You know he loves you, and you wouldn't mind, but he reminds you constantly, "I don't care if it's in the middle of a concert, a fansign, a meeting that determines my whole entire future; your water breaks, I run."

Daddy-to-be!Felix who is so relieved that your water breaks in the middle of the night when he's home, where you can screech as loud as you can to attempt to get his attention. 

Daddy-to-be!Felix who jumped up from bed so quick, grabbing you and leading you down the stairs, racked with guilt that he couldn't pick you up because A) he literally can't, and B) he's too terrified, he'll fall and hurt you.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who if all the anxiety he has ever experienced in his entire life could be multiplied and put in his body, it would still be so minuscule compared to the way he's freaking the FUCK out right now, but he still tries to calm himself down, and be sober-minded for you.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who when you get to the hospital, they have got him FUCKED UP to think he's ever leaving you. Holding your hand through it all, a part of him has to be on you the entire time. It doesn't matter if he doesn't sleep; he's an idol. Not sleeping is what he does.

Daddy-to-be!Felix who falls in love with you all over again, seeing you push through all the pain—admiring your strength and dedication— he loves you so much and makes sure you know, even in some of the most inconvenient times.  “Big push,” the nurse calls out from under you. “I love you so much, baby, so fucking much, holy shit.” He kisses your hand. “Shut up, Felix, please.” You scream, your body vibrating with pain. “Yes ma'am, shutting up right now.”

 Daddy-to-be!Felix who praises you constantly, “You're doing so well, baby.” "Keep pushing; do you see that, you're almost done?” "I'm so fuckin' proud of you, darling." "The only reason I'm going to see my beautiful baby is because of you. Do you know how much I admire you? I literally can't find the words." “SHUT UP.”

 Daddy-to-be!Felix who lets you hold onto him while you go through all the contractions, digging your nails into his skin, drawing blood, "Ow baby," "sorry," "it's okay, I understand." You obviously are not very sorry, cause two seconds later you're digging deeper into his wounds.

Dad!Felix who is just as ecstatic about them telling him it's a boy as he would be if they were telling him it was a girl, he just has to change his dreams about brushing his little girl's hair to teaching his little boy how to tie a tie (which he is very bad at, but for him, he will attempt to learn).

Dad!Felix who never knew that you could love somebody so deeply without ever even knowing them, but when he holds your little ball of sunshine in his arms and feels their heartbeats intertwining, it all seems so much more real. He has your eyes. His nose, your hands, his toes—he sees bits and pieces of the two of you in every breath he takes. He has just met your baby, and yet he immediately feels like he would burn the whole world down for him.

Dad!Felix who panics when you suddenly start having even more contractions.

Dad!Felix who breaks down in tears when they hand him your second baby, a little girl, whose freckles dust across her cheeks just like his. If he thought he was feeling happy before knowing he gets to experience the best of both worlds at the same time, makes his already bursting heart about 10 times its size. 

Dad!Felix who is sobbing happy tears, a smile plastered on his face as he cuts the umbilical cords off of both his little balls of sunshine, never thinking he would be so excited to do something in his life. 

Dad!Felix who at this point is so surprised that he hasn't had a heart attack with the amount of scares he has gotten in the past 12 hours, especially when his heart jumps out of his chest, as the doctor informs the both of you that you need to be stitched up from where you tore, you are mostly confused because you didn't know you tore. It must have blended in with the excruciating pain that was firing from all areas of your body. "What does that mean? Is she okay? Is she going to die? Is she-"

Dad!Felix who is literally going to pass out because he actually thinks you're going to die.

Dad!Felix who feels real fuckin stupid when the nurses just chuckle and tell him you're not going to die, your vagina ripped while giving birth, that it happens quite often; they just need to sew you up.

Dad!Felix who watches them like a hawk as they sew you up, making sure that they aren’t messing anything up.

Dad!Felix who literally refuses to let you do anything for at least 3 months after your birth, researching the hell out of what can ease your pain, forcing you into bed rest while he takes care of the kids, giving you massages for your aching muscles, pouring you warm baths with rose petals when your stitching hurts or itches, he's so kind and attentive, hating seeing you in pain.

Dad!Felix who is so eager to do anything; getting up when the babies are crying, changing diapers, giving bottles, singing the babies to sleep…

Dad!Felix who loves to sing the babies with his deep calming voice, knowing it puts them to sleep instantly. 

Dad!Felix who loves to eat you out when he finally puts the twins to bed about just as much, noticed the way you were looking at him as he was singing in that deep, sexy voice. 

Dad!Felix who goes right back to the kids 30 minutes later when your moans wake them up.  

Dad!Felix who just can't get over how awesome it is to see how different your babies are, not just in gender but in personality as well.

Dad!Felix who literally despises having the babies cry, does anything he can to stop it, not because it's annoying him, but because it hurts him to know his little angels are sad.

Dad!Felix who will cook dinner with both babies held carefully in his arms—something that seems atomically impossible, but he figures it out.

Dad!Felix who sees the guilt bubbling up on your face, rushing it away with gentle kisses and soft reassurances, ushering you away with a smile. “I know you're tired and hurting. Go take a nap, love, and I'll wake you up when dinner is done.”

Mom!Reader who wakes up from her nap, sees the house cleaned, the dishes done, the babies fed, and put to bed with a steaming meal in front of you, you are more than happy to suck him to the heavens after. Hey, everything's 50/50, right? 

Mom!Reader who begs Felix to get the babies because she can hear them crying through the baby monitor.

Dad!Felix who does it without a second thought. Never once complaining about how you guys could count the amount of sleep you have gotten combined on just one of your hands, he understood the twins were ornery—having a bad case of colic—so to calm them down, he sings to them just like he always does.

Mom!Reader who panics hearing such a deep voice over the baby monitor. In a fit of half-asleep—panic-induced—sleep deprivation run into the baby's room, ready to kill somebody if needed, but your heart melts instead when you meet Felix holding your sniffling twins, rocking them carefully in his arms. Tears pool in your eyes seeing the way his face glew with pure love; even though he looked exhausted, even though there were deep bags under his eyes and spit up on his shirt, no matter how hard life was, at least you know that with Felix, you’d never regret it, not even for a minute.

Dad!Felix who looks up, surprised to see you in the doorway. "Hi baby," he whispers. "Go back to bed, darling. I've got this." You look at him like he hung the moon, and for you, he would. 

Dad!Felix who is the most patient father any child could ever ask for. (I will never get over this. Definitely the type of dad who would help clean up the milk and not just yell because it was spilled)

Dad!Felix who would rather die than yell at his kids, is definitely the gentlest parent known to man.

Dad!Felix who dresses your angels like the next Louis Vuitton ambassadors, "Really, Felix, our four-month-old babies do not need a Louis blazer and jumpsuit." "Who says?” he shrugs. “Um, me, because they're 4 months old.” You enunciate every syllable as though you were talking to one of the babies in question. “Do they even sell this in stores?" “Um, no, I had it custom-made, duh." "Oh my gosh," you facepalm, not before facepalming a little harder, pulling out a Louis pair of sunglasses and a Louis purse just small enough to fit tiny hands. ”You bought the baby a Louis purse?" "Of course, my princess can be without a bag. Look deeper; there's something for mommy in there too.” You pull out a Louis Vuitton diaper bag. 🤦

Dad!Felix who has never really liked confrontation, but when a paparazzi accidentally bumped into you holding the twins because he was trying to take pictures of the group; he almost killed him, saw red, got so close to using those Taekwondo skills he spent years practicing. The team was the only reason he didn't rip someone's head off. Bangchan's glare would have been enough, but yours, his, and the whole group were enough for the man's face to go red and curl into himself, definitely regretting all of his life choices.

Dad!Felix who's the type of father who wants to protect his little angels from the world, is literally willing to glue pillows to all areas of the house so that they will never get hurt. You stare at him blankly, wondering if he's serious.

He is.

Dad!Felix who gets genuinely disappointed that you obviously oppose, so instead he baby-proofs the ever-loving shit out of the house, sharp objects gone, all corners covered, outlets concealed.

Dad!Felix who if anyone were to talk about his family online, would not be silent, would go into a fit of rage, aggressively typing on his phone, getting ready to post a long paragraph on his story that you or his team would have to keep him from sending because, you know, his job or whatever, speaking of job…

Dad!Felix who knows he has to leave for work eventually, and his 6-month hiatus from the group was not permanent. A lot of tears are shed as he holds you and your beautiful babies, knowing he isn’t going to be able to see them for a whole 3 months while they start their tour. He can't bear thinking that he might miss such pivotal moments as the first rollover, the first steps, the first word. He can see his little munchkins' lives flashing right before his eyes as he looks at the packed suitcase in the corner. “Felix, we are going to be fine, I promise." “Are you sure?? I can leave the group; I would leave them for you; I promise I would; you just say the word and I'm gone; we can buy a house in the suburbs-” You giggle, overwhelmed with admiration for his dedication to your family, “Don't be silly, Lix. I know you love your job and your team, plus we wouldn't be able to afford a house without you working." He sighs, knowing you are right. “Fine,” he mutters, holding you all close. “Just promise to call me every single day, okay?”

Dad!Felix who gets up early enough in the morning to feed the kids and get them dressed, trying to spend as much quality time with them as possible before he has to leave. 

Mom!Reader who, being the mom you are, still freaks out when you wake up, scared Felix is going to miss his plane. While you're putting your son's shoes on, you run into the room and say, “Come on, lix-” You stop dead in your tracks, seeing him beaming while brushing your little girl's hair, humming a sweet melody as the paddle goes smoothly through her locks. She looks up at him like he hung the moon, and for her, he would. Your bad mood dissipates as you remember why you got into any of this in the first place. Everything is going to be fine. You're going to be fine. Felix looks up, feeling your presence. He smiles wider. "Do you like it, momma?" He asks, clearly proud of his work. She smiles toothless and full of glee. You take her in your arms, spinning her around. "Well, of course, I like it. Did Daddy do this for you, baby?" She spits out gobbly gook, which you nod your head at, acting like she just recited pie.

Dad!Felix who brushes the little girl's hair every day before work without fail, even looks up tutorials on YouTube about different strategic hairstyles. He's terrible at them. Doesn't stop your heart from melting into a puddle on the floor while he's attempting French braids, though.

Dad!Felix who proposes to you a few years later, so he can have your two beautiful babies standing beside him as he proposes: his little princess in a cute white dress holding a bouquet of picked flowers, and your little prince in an adorable little tux holding a heart of chocolates. Everything is just so perfect, you'd be a certified idiot not to say yes (not that you were ever considering it).

Husband!Felix who when you finally get married, agrees that your baby boy is going to be the one who walks you down the aisle with your little girl being his best wo'man', right beside Hyunjin and all his other members, of course.

Extra for the ones who endured my rambling 

Mom!Reader+Hans girlfriend who had a baby boy the same day that you had your little girl. When you found out the good news, you immediately started planning for the wedding, knowing this couldn't be anything other than fate, already thinking about ship names and wedding dresses.

Dad!Felix+Han who glare at the two, Felix not liking the idea of his perfect princess being anywhere near the male species, Han not liking the idea of his girlfriend cuddling with someone that isn't him. But eventually, Felix eases on his glare, his heart melting as you giggle about the color of the bouquet.

Last but not least

Husband!Felix who will always love the way his family looks at him, like he hung the moon because, for them, he would.

©CookieCreates (posted: June, 19th 2024) All rights reserved. Do not translate, copy, or claim my works as yours! I only post on this platform so if any of my works are elsewhere, report and notify me immediately.

~ I'm probably going to redo this one day so if you have anything you would like to add/change please let me know :))

COOKIE OUT

[writhyv]

⋆｡°✩ pushing his buttons to finally make him confess

unsorted | nishimura riki x male!reader

pairing: childhood bestfriend!ni-ki x male reader genre: fluff, little bit of a build up of angst? i actually don't know ... words: 2.03k notes: trying something completely different and just getting these ideas out! i've always liked the 'childhood bestfriend' tropes and i think ni-ki definitely fills up the criteria. not meant to be a realistic take on ni-ki in anyway (since this is a fanfic lol) but something just loosely based on him. hope you like it!

You've been so focused on impressing your crush that you've completely overlooked Ni-ki's feelings for you. For a long time, he's harbored strong emotions, but he keeps them hidden while you excitedly talk about your crush and ask for his help getting closer to him. Ni-ki always shakes his head and tells you that his friend is not interested in you, but the truth is that every time you mention his friend, it stings a little more. He doesn't want to complicate your friendship by revealing how he truly feels.

Deep down, Ni-ki wishes you could see how much he cares for you. He's been there all along, offering support, even while dealing with his own heartache. While you focused all your attention on this new crush, they were just a new development, yet you seemed to put all your efforts into them at once. Ni-ki couldn't bear it at all.

One day, your teacher announces a group project, and you're in a group with your crush. You're thrilled, but you have no idea where his house is for the group meeting. Luckily, Ni-ki knows the area well and offers to accompany you. He can't resist helping you, even if it hurts him to see you so enamored with his friend.

"You sure you know his house?" you asked, fixing your backpack as you walked alongside your best friend.

"Ugh, it's not like I wanted to," Ni-ki sighed, trying to distance himself from the topic. Clearly, he doesn't care about the guy or the project. He only cares about you.

"But still!" you tugged his arm. "Thank you for taking the time to come with me..."

Ni-ki looked at you with his hands in his pockets. As he saw your golden smile appear, he couldn't help but be mesmerized by it. He couldn't tell whether he was living a dream or a nightmare — it was too hard to tell.

When you both arrive at your crush's house, you try to play it cool, but you can’t help but feel nervous. Your friends arrived shortly, joining you in your project as well. You’re eager to impress your crush, while Ni-ki stands silently beside you, feeling nothing but emptiness and sadness for himself.

As you start working on the project, you keep stealing glances at your crush, laughing at his jokes and trying to engage him in conversation. Ni-ki observes from the sidelines, noticing how your face lights up every time you look at his friend. Each giggle you share with your crush feels like a sharp reminder of what he can’t have, but he keeps quiet, not wanting to ruin the moment for you.

After a while, your friends suggest taking a break and playing some games to lighten the mood. You agree, thrilled to spend more time with him, while Ni-ki watches quietly, wishing he could take your place.

When one of your louder friends suggests the game of truth or dare, laughter fills the room. You sit there nervously as your friends take turns revealing secrets or completing silly dares.

Finally, when it’s your turn, you shyly choose 'dare.' Your friends, excited, dare you to kiss the person you like. You glance over at your crush, your heart racing with anticipation, while Ni-ki’s expression darkens just a bit, feeling the weight of the moment.

"I-"

"This is ridiculous," Ni-ki rose from his seat and quickly pulled you away from the group, who could only groan in dismay. Although it seems unlikely, your supposed crush had a small look of concern. But did it even matter?

"Riki..." you pleaded. "Your hand..."

But Ni-ki couldn't hear you. He didn't want anyone to see you with him at this moment, so he was determined to get you as far away from the others as possible.

"RIKI!!" you shouted. Ni-ki stopped as he saw you.

"You're... you're grip was too tight," you pointed at your arm, and he let it go immediately.

"S-sorry!" he apologized, rubbing your hand quickly. It was clear that he didn't mean to hurt you, but he felt a bit disappointed with himself anyway.

"Hehe, It's alright," you tried to smile for a bit, even though you had no idea what just happened.

You two stood there under the bright moon. It wasn't the best of days, but it was magical how the crickets sounded in the early hours of the night. You looked at Ni-ki, still confused. He couldn't speak at the moment, rethinking what he had intended to do.

"Riki-"

"Do you really like him?" he spoke in a deep voice. It wasn't the first time you heard it, but it sounded so serious now.

"I-"

"I can tell that you're trying too hard," Ni-ki looked at you with his eyes, filled with curiosity. "Too hard."

That didn't feel right, you thought. Why would Ni-ki say something like that so suddenly? Is he against the idea all of a sudden? Does he hate you for it? Does it matter who you want to like?

"Okay..." you sighed. "Can you just tell me what's happening? I thought you were supportive of me..."

Ni-ki looked at you, sincerity clear in his gaze. "I... I am!"

"But you don't feel like it!" you walked towards him.

Ni-ki could only look at you closely before you spoke again.

"Are you..." you took your time to say these words. It was the worst case, but what if it is now?

"Are you disgusted by what I'm feeling? By me?" you spoke hesitantly, knowing full well it wasn't the case.

Ni-ki shot a surprised look towards you, a shocked expression on his face. "N-no! Why would you say that!"

"Then why are you so against me having a crush on him!" you spoke loudly, not even sure if you sounded too loud at that point.

Ni-ki couldn't believe it. Of course, he could never judge you for who you wanted to love. Not in that way. It didn't matter to him what your choices were. Sure, he may be bad at expressing himself sometimes, but he always supported you no matter what.

And he liked it that way.

He liked you that way.

"Because I like you!" Ni-ki replied with his voice shaking in fear. Fear of letting you know, and the fear of possibly losing you. He couldn't handle it, saying the most outrageous thing that might drive you away from him.

"I like you," Ni-ki spoke softly. "I really do."

Ni-ki liked you? Since when?

When did this happen? How could you not see it?

Where was it when you looked for it?

Looked at him.

That way?

"Y...you..." you covered your mouth as you tried to take in his words. "No... no I-"

"I can explain-"

"How could you explain this to me!" you stepped back from him as he tried to come near, his face showing that he was really sorry.

"Are you even listening to what you're saying!"

"I- I do like you!"

Silence.

There was only silence.

Only two people, two best friends... two hearts talking to each other.

"Then ... why ... now..." Tears fell from your eyes as you said those words from your heart, out for your best friend to listen closely.

Why now? Why would your best friend like you when you've given up entirely on that idea?

At daydreaming a future of you and him?

At loving the one person who cared for you like nobody else could?

You punched and punched his chest as you sank to the soft ground. Ni-ki tried to comfort you by wrapping his arms around you. You could only cry even more as you breathed in his familiar scent. There was nothing else that you could say.

You were supposed to forget these feelings, but why do they need to come back like this? Now that you've tried so hard to keep them away from hurting you? Why?

"I... I'm sorry." Ni-ki tried to speak as his sniffling nearly choked him. "I'm sorry I couldn't be brave enough to even pursue you..."

You continued to cry, remembering how much you liked him. How much you appreciated everything he did. How you wanted to understand him so you could build a lasting relationship with this kind guy who got you language guides and taught you manners you wouldn't know otherwise.

You fell for him, and you wanted to fall even deeper, but you never had a clue he liked you back.

"You're so ... stupid!" you continued to hit his chest. It wasn't that hard, but it was enough to make Ni-ki wince. He didn't like it when you hurt. Whether it was a scratch, a burn, or a bully, he didn't want you to suffer at all. He wanted to hold you in his arms as much as he could.

"I am..." Ni-ki tried to speak, trying to hide his own sobbing. "I just... can't decide whether I should let you be with him... or stay with me."

You then began to feel terrible, listening to him being a sniffling mess. You looked back towards his barren features, immediately wiping his tears away.

"So ... you just needed a little push?"

Ni-ki nodded, feeling a bit embarrassed.

"I... I didn't know how to deal with these feelings." He spoke to you. "And even if I did, I couldn't find the courage. Not with you."

You sighed, sitting up as you cleaned your face. "C'mon, Riki. I told you; you've got the charm ... the confidence ... the looks ... the spirit."

Ni-ki looked at you, laughing softly.

"What?" You spoke as you took a good look at him.

"Are you seriously prepping me when I already confessed?"

"I mean, it's not too late to not do that, you know?"

You two shared a quiet moment, mere seconds, as you took your time to process it all.

"So you like me?" Ni-ki broke the silence with one simple question.

"Of course." You nodded. "How couldn't I? You were the perfect package."

"I couldn't even handle my own feelings." Ni-ki wiped his tears as he chuckled lightly. "Are you sure you're ready to take a chance on me?"

"Hey." You looked at him. "Do you really want me or not?"

"Psh. Of course I do."

"Then don't be scared and keep your word." You smiled at him, your eyes still watery. "Love me all you want. And let me love you all I want."

Ni-ki laughed brightly, holding your hands and putting them against his own.

"Okay." He agreed. "I'll love you for all time."

"All time?" You looked at him confused. "You mean forever?"

Ni-ki shook his head. "No. I meant for all time. Past, future, present, and every other moment."

As you raised your hands to his cheeks, he gently cupped them and rubbed his own palm upon yours. "All the moments that time can give me to love you ... that's what I want."

Now, it was your turn to smile back at him.

"You're crazy." You looked at him as you fixed his stray hair. "Then ... let me do that too."

Ni-ki's eyes went wide as you pulled him into a sweet kiss. Having it felt like a soft kind of candy, and not just because of the texture. His mouth tasted so much like a sweet dream, one you'll fall into easily and never want to leave.

"We're both fools, aren't we?" Ni-ki spoke as he broke away from your kiss.

"Very much so." You giggled. "A couple of fools."

"Definitely." Ni-ki said as he rested his head on your shoulder. "A couple."

"A couple it is." Niki rest his head on your shoulders, and exposed his own nape in front of you. Without any care in the world, you pressed your damp lips onto his soft skin, relishing the beauty of this occasion.

tried this new unsorted way of writing for stuff i couldn't just fit into compilations or a full series! also hopefully i did ni-ki's hypothetical highschool self good aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

hope you guys enjoyed it! please like, comment, or reblog~

my masterlist!

made by writhyv 💘

[housemdork]

house md rewatch: 2x15, "clueless"

"love will make you do wrong" oh i'm sure.

this is one of those recaps where i'm definitely just reiterating what the writers were putting down, but it's so insane that it bears in-depth repeating imo.

please believe me when i say this rewatch project's goal is a wholistic view of the entire series. yet, with that in mind, you can imagine the stress i feel when what seems like an episode devoted entirely to unpacking intimate interpersonal relationships has hilson as the fulcrum. and not just hilson - equal character development for both house and wilson as the domesticity shenanigans unfold.

that's not to downplay the patient story - it's crazy, and i'm kind of obsessed with it. the zebra factor is probably way off the charts, but i love the extra sherlockian vibe and the confirmation that house md can, in fact, do shock value without throwing entire identities under the bus (@ 2x13). all that plus the horror movie opening? golden (lmfao).

from the top, then. look at his triangle ass stance here:

we can safely say, i'd argue, that 2000s audiences were supposed to laugh at how much wilson cares about his appearance; i'm laughing, too, but in a 2020s Woke Queer Way. and house lasts just one night with wilson crashing on his couch before he says that this won't work; his domestic sphere has been invaded by someone he doesn't know how to account for, at least not in this capacity. one of the things we know about house thus far is that routine is immeasurably valuable to him.

it also kills me how devastated wilson is to hear that house wants him out, along with his sassy retort about house's hair, or "what's left of it." gagged.

this entire episode is based on the (heterosexual) domicile. it also devotes a lot of time qualifying the patient and his partner, bob and maria, as Sexually Freaky (tm). they upend traditional notions of marriage, partnership, and sex through their kinks/bdsm, including consensual noncon sex. the team leaps to the initial conclusion that bob's sudden suffocation comes from repeated history of rough sex, which is quickly disproven.

maria and bob's sex life absolutely boggles everyone's minds...except for cameron's lol. the growing fluidity with which she treats relationships as some of her convictions adapt (not dissolve! just shift!) is really interesting to me, like it interests chase, too lol.

2x15 persistently deconstructs maria and bob's personal lives until its full ugliness is on display (while unforch being a little kink-shamey, but we can look past this). despite their insistence that they're happy, maria is secretly poisoning her husband. despite their pristine home, what takes place in there is only thinly disguised intermarital violence. cameron's bet on their happiness falls flat on its face, and house md argues that a frontward functional relationship will always be plagued with deeper issues.

those issues are not represented visually, however! let's contrast the 2 major sites of domesticity in this episode:

foreman's remarks that maria and bob keep an impeccably clean place contrasts with wilson's general opinion of house's apartment. over the seasons, we see house's place in various states of disarray, though it's chock full of his personality and history, whereas maria and bob's place is just cold, 2000s chic. this reinforces the subliminal distance between maria and bob and captures the degree to which wilson is invited into house's personal life.

next i want to tackle the emphasis on food, poisoning, and choking in 2x15. i thought it was a silly bullet point in my notes until i actually sat down to right this (like literally in this moment!). after repeatedly arguing that bob was poisoned with heavy metals, house eventually lands on the theory that maria is behind it. it's not until the end does 2x15 reveal that she's been dosing his food with gold (don't ask me the full name lmfao), scarring his lungs over time.

meanwhile, in stuffed pepper, pancake, salad, and sandwich land:

house pretends to find the bell peppers stinky but takes a liking to the rest of wilson's cooking immediately. no poison to be had here. in an outwardly dysfunctional domestic situation, food sharing (however reluctant) is a net positive. wilson's final note warning house off his lunch is closer to a joke than a formal warning:

if it's not clear, i'm casting house as maria and wilson as bob in this off-kilter domesticity parallel, and a subtle but brilliant example of this comes at the very end. while maria is taken away in handcuffs, house rushes back home on his motorcycle. while foreman and chase inform bob that maria was trying to kill him, wilson sleeps soundly on house's couch. viewers are also treated to al green's "love and happiness" in the background, with the very poignant lyric: "love will make you do wrong."

everything about house/wilson and maria/bob is reversed, along with their respective "wrongs." 2x15 is funny and crazy enough to suggest that house deleting the message about wilson's apartment is symbolically akin to maria killing bob slowly over time. look how they both gaze upon their domestic partners - one with faux guilt on their face, and the other with faux annoyance:

i've spent all this time building to the following argument: in pretending that he hates having wilson around, 2x15 subverts the assumed happiness brought on by a heteronormative domestic space. as much as maria pretends to love bob, house pretends to hate living with wilson. maria tries to remove bob from her domestic (and from this earth lol) while house tries to keep wilson around. we spend an entire episode unearthing how sinister a sexually charged heterosexual marriage can be, only to arrive at the house and wilson dynamic of it all.

i'm not even strictly hilson posting here, just highlighting how bizarre it is in that 2000s network tv decided to deconstruct heteronormativity, however intentionally/unintentionally. it's not my fault that wilson has to make everything about sex. and that every moment of this episode is about sex except for the moments spent between house and wilson.

lastly, one of the concluding scenes between house and the fellows is a nice example of audience/house solidarity, something the entire show does subtly throughout to get us squarely in his headspace. the four of them are ruminating over what could possibly motivate someone to kill their partner, which cameron seems especially appalled by.

in response, house makes a slew of interesting deductions: "maybe she just got tired of being married. didn't want to admit to family and friends that the marriage everyone thought was perfect wasn't."

i call this house solidarity because we know for a fact that he's talking about wilson's situation...but who within his marriage? we never meet julie (which, apart from the unfortunate fridging, i think is a good narrative choice), so we don't get her side of the story or understand if/how she's been open about her and wilson's separation. all we know, and all that house cares to know, is that wilson's marriage isn't perfect.

this next bit is informed by my hilson brain, but there's been a subtle thrill in house in the face of wilson's separation. i get the sense that he hopes he's talking about wilson here, that he hopes wilson got tired of being married because things (in the aforementioned heteronormative relationship!) are imperfect. and, as if to secure this hope, he deletes the message about the apartment while looking especially smug.

this line of dialogue also does some work in acknowledging wilson's vulnerability. like the patient in 2x14 suggested, we can't be afraid to look stupid. by nature of showing up at house's door, he's admitted that things aren't perfect. that's their give-and-take; wilson lets house in emotionally while house lets wilson in physically. given house's reliance on routine and privacy, this is an equal exchange.

here's my actual final note: why can't wilson realize that he has a real love language? FOOD! and acts of service! you don't just have to sleep with everyone you love! there are other ways to express these things! you literally had a spoon at the ready for house! and you seem so secretly pleased when he doesn't hate the taste!

[autonomousroboticorganism]

Prime and Protector (TF One Sentinel Prime) pt. 2

pairing - Sentinel Prime x F!Prime!Reader

summary - Sentinel's bond with you grows stronger

warnings - might turn this into a series, idk, bear with me and my love for this guy

a/n - i enjoyed writing the first part, so have some more of my thoughts on Sentinel's relationship with Prime!You before (italics) and after (normal) becoming sparkmates (i may have forgotten to add a few things to the first one) also i am so sorry for the wait!

"Sentinel."

Sentinel lived for the sound of his name leaving your dermas. He was putty in your servos whenever you called him, always happy to do the most menial task for his pretty Prime.

"Yes, my lady?"

The advisor showed up at your door, eagerly awaiting your command, but you frowned when you saw how tired he was.

"Sentinel, have you had a break?"

"No, my lady. But I can-"

"Go, power down," you ordered, concerned about his health. "Please."

"(Name), Sentinel needs to-"

You glared at Zeta, "He. Needs. A. Break. I will fetch the reports."

Sentinel panicked at that idea, "No, no, I can handle it!"

"My sweet advisor, your pretty wings are drooping. Go power down."

He absolutely did not want to, because he would rather do something for you. He liked being useful to you, liked your praise - the 'pretty wings' comment had his fans working overtime to cool him down. But recharging? He couldn't be useful to you.

You smiled a little at his reluctance, "I'll have more for you to do once you're awake again."

He seemed content with that, and left to go recharge. You turned the other way to go and retrieve the scout's reports, but Zeta Prime's next words stopped you.

"You are too fond of Sentinel."

"And you're not fond enough," you answered, then went on your way.

~

"Sentinel."

Your sparkmate's wings fluttered up from their drooping position when you called him, his mood changing like the flip of a switch.

"Yes, sweetspark?"

You smiled at his new nickname for you, "Can I trouble you?"

"Of course, for you it's no trouble."

Even after becoming sparkmates, Sentinel retained his eagerness to please you. He was at your beck and call, still ready and willing to serve you in any way. If it made you happy, bonus points.

You smiled, "Come and look at the reports and tell me what you think."

He almost didn't believe those words, and gestured to himself, "Me?"

You laughed, "I didn't know there were two Sentinels."

Flustered, he approached you and took a look at the reports. He hadn't expected you to ask for his opinion, because even though that was technically his job the other Primes usually ignored it.

"I don't trust this one," he held up one of the recordings. "I've been there, it's not as overcrowded as this scout makes it out to be."

"Hmmm," you leaned forward. "Take care of it for me?"

"Of course, my lady."

"(Name)!" You called after him.

He chuckled, "Habit."

He returned a while later, looking weary, and you were immediately concerned.

"Sentinel-"

"No!" You snapped at your fellow Prime. "He needs rest." You turned to the advisor, "Did something go wrong?

"The scout did not send that message, my lady," he wiped some Quintesson blood off his shoulder. "I don't think we will be receiving any more communication from him."

"I should have gone myself," you led him to his berthroom.

"No, my la-(Name)," he quickly corrected when you gave him a look. "I was happy to be of service to you."

"I know, but I feel like I sent you into a trap..."

"It was," he admitted, "But I'm here, aren't I?" His wings buzzed a little, hoping for your praise. Hoping you were impressed with his ability to get out of a difficult situation.

"Indeed," you agreed. "But I do not like endangering you."

You were too worried about him to pay him a compliment! That wouldn't do. He brought you closer to him, reassuring you.

"My sword made quick work of them, sweetspark."

Your tension eased, "I suppose that is a comfort. You are very impressive with an equally impressive weapon."

He beamed, glowing under your praise.

"Now rest, Sentinel."

~

Another day out in the field, fighting the Quintessons. Their numbers seemed limitless, as more came every time you felled a few. You grew weary, separated from your Primes in different sections of the battlefield.

Your weariness disappeared when your optics picked out Sentinel in the fight, being overwhelmed.

You obliterated Quintessons in your path as you rushed to assist him. Around you, the other Primes were also weakening, but your focus was solely on your advisor.

"I don't think so."

You grabbed a Quintesson that had been about to attach itself to Sentinel's back, and you tossed it aside before shooting it.

"Thank you, my lady," Sentinel offered you a soft smile, which you returned.

You quickly intercepted another, your armour being scratched by their talon as you threw your arm in front of Sentinel's faceplates, shielding it.

"My lady!"

"Sentinel, it's just a..." You watched him completely demolish that Quintesson, chopping it into far more pieces than necessary. "...scratch."

When you returned to the tower, Sentinel was at your side with a buffer. He was exhausted, quite obviously, but he was eager to fix your "wound".

"Sentinel," you laughed. "It's nothing."

"You got that because of me," he pouted. "Let me fix it."

He was so cute, you couldn't deny him, "Okay."

The scratch in question was smoothed out within minutes, but far from making Sentinel feel silly about it, you smiled at him.

"Where would I be without my trusty caretaker, hmmm?"

His chassis puffed out with pride.

~

*My lady, what happened?!"

Sentinel's panicked voice flooded your audio receptors as two of the High Guard members carried you back into the tower, heavily wounded.

"I'm okay," you flinched. "It was just a bit rougher out there today."

Your sparkmate almost had a spark attack as he analysed your wounds. He called for the best medics, threatening them if they didn't drop what they were doing and come now. You looked so badly hurt, his wings drooped a little.

"Sentinel."

"Mhm?" He looked at you, turning his attention away from the medic.

"I'm okay."

"You are very obviously not, sweetspark," he offered you a small, weak smile despite his worry. "But you will be."

Sentinel had always been sweet toward you, but his sweetness ramped up to a thousand while you were on bedrest. He scurried around doing all your tasks, helping the other Primes AND tending to your every need and want.

"Will you slow down?" You laughed one day as he ran into your berthroom with some energon, almost toppling over.

"You need it!" He protested.

"Sentinel, I'm not going to die."

He huffed.

"Okay, I'm sorry," you chuckled, "Thank you."

He beamed, sitting on your berth and feeding you the cubes. He refused to let you eat on your own, simply because, again, he loved doing things for you.

When you were finally allowed to move around again, the blue-and-gold Cybertronian refused to let you get back to the fight. As your advisor, he couldn't exactly order you around, but as your sparkmate his concern was duly noted and followed.

"I am proud to say I killed over fifty Quintessons today, my lady," he swept into the room, looking pleased with himself. "In your honour, of course."

You smiled, "That's sweet, darling, but it's (Name) or sweetspark to you. But that's impressive, well done."

When you awarded him with a sweet kiss, Sentinel swore his legs wobbled. The praise and the kiss were too much for him, although in a very, very pleasant way.

He still offered to do some of your tasks, to take the load off you. You politely declined, noticing his increased tiredness.

"Sentinel, go recharge."

"But-"

"Recharge."

"Sweetspark~"

"Sentinel."

"...Fine."

He obeyed, but pouted the whole way to your shared berthroom. He was not happy, but hated disobeying you.

Sentinel had been obsessed with you before, but since becoming your sparkmate it had increased tenfold. You could literally say or do anything to this bot and he will take it with a smile on his face. He counts himself lucky that you're sweet to him, not sadistic or cruel like some of the other Primes could be.

"Sentinel."

"Yes?"

"Come here and let me admire your pretty wings."

His faceplates burned, but he obeyed and moved closer. They were sensitive to touch, so he shivered pleasantly when he felt your servos run along them tenderly.

"You are by far Primus's best creation."

He was at a loss for words. You, a Prime, a prestigious and elite creation of Primus, bestowed him with the ultimate compliment. Him, a bot who paled in comparison to your excellence, power, and looks.

"Sweetspark, I fear I am going to malfunction if you say that again."

You chuckled, noticing how flustered he got, "I mean it, you know."

"I disagree," he chuckled, "Primus definitely took a little more time designing you, you're the epitome of perfection my lady."

Your faceplates burned now, "Can't you just take a compliment?!"

He laughed, enjoying how his words impacted you just the way yours impacted him. He quite enjoyed knowing he had such power over you, even if it was just a little. He was content with just that little bit.

~

"Sentinel, are you drunk?"

Zeta's accusation sounded a lot like he had never been in the same predicament before, which annoyed you. Your advisor was stumbling around, a very cheerful smile on his faceplates. He looked like he had a little too much high grade, but that wasn't something to be punished for.

You'd seen Megatronus and Micronus in far worse states after consuming a little too much high grade.

"Leave him alone, Zeta," you rolled your eyes, catching your advisor before he fell faceplates-first on the floor. "There is reason to celebrate, we are close to winning this war."

Zeta opened his mouth to say something, before Sentinel giggled and teased your leader, "Yeah Zeta, lighten up."

Zeta froze, as did all the Primes in the vicinity, but you just laughed and put a hand on his chassis to steady him. He smiled drunkenly at your laugh, poking your faceplates.

"You're cute when you laugh~"

Your faceplates burned, and you led him away from the other astonished Primes. You took him to his berthroom, as he looked around in awe, like he had never been here before.

"This place is so pretty!"

It was very hard to keep a straight face whenever he spoke, and you allowed yourself to smile in amusement as you helped him lay on his berth.

He was knocked out immediately.

~

Sentinel could control himself around high grade. He had learned from past experiences that he was not to drink too much, even if you encouraged him to enjoy himself.

So he sat back and watched you Primes enjoy yourselves.

You noticed him sitting quietly, patiently, because you were - as usual - excluded from the festivities, even if not on purpose.

"You're oddly quiet," you noted, sitting down next to him.

"Someone has to be responsible here," he muttered bitterly, echoing Zeta's scolding from the last time. He looked tired; his optics were dull and his shoulders were hunched.

"You take such good care of us," you praised him, placing a servo on his shoulder. "You need to take care of yourself too."

"As if they would give me a break."

He wasn't always the cheerful advisor you saw. At times like this, the other Primes had worn him down so much that his energy levels dropped dangerously low, worrying you. They were too careless with your sparkmate, too mindless.

"Rest your optics for a moment," you told him, offering your shoulder. "I'll keep an optic on them."

At least for a little while.

He looked like he wanted to protest, but he had no energy to. He resigned himself to exhaustion, resting his helm on your shoulder and going offline for a few moments. You sighed contently, happy to take some of the load off him.

"Sentinel!"

Your sparkmate jerked back online, blinking a few times to clear his vision. He immediately stood up and responded to the call, despite your reluctance to let him go.

"Let me help you."

You found him cleaning up after the other Primes, not even hesitating to assist. He protested, but you refused to listen.

It got done faster, and you were happy to drag him back to your shared berthroom to get some much-needed rest. He tried to fight his exhaustion to spend a little more time with you, but you assured him you'd still be there when he came back online.

You were starting to notice a change in him, a spark of resentment for the other Primes, and it was worrying you despite your shared feelings on the matter.

[musings-of-a-rose]

Hi, just wanted to say that I love your work! Especially with Benny and Frankie so much that I have an idea for Benny! Female reader (not picky about the name) meets Benny at a bar days after she catches her now ex-boyfriend cheating on her and they hook up at his place, but she leaves before he wakes up. She later finds out she's pregnant but doesn't tell anyone who the father is. Months later while still pregnant, her friends convince her to come with them to see a MMA fight and low and behold Benny is there fighting. He doesn't see her at first, but when the fight ends (which he wins) he sees her and she leaves abruptly while hiding her stomach since she's wearing baggy clothing. However, Benny manages to catch up to her, where she reveals the news to him. They then talk some more at her place where he reveals to her that she's been on his mind ever since that night and begins the start of something new.

One Night Can Change Everything

Pairing: Benny Miller x f!reader 

Word Count: 6400+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: Rea is a general nickname for a “reader” character that @mermaidxatxheart came up with and I think that’s genius! This is not beta’d.

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

→Tell Tumblr this should be shared with others by reblogging! That's what the algorithm loves (it's how it works here. I don't make the rules!)

**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

Benny Miller Masterlist

“Ok, that’s it. I’m making you get out of this bed now,” My best friend Sage declares as she towers over my bed, where I have lived for the past several days. Ever since I caught my boyfriend sleeping with my co-worker. Co-workerS.

Ex-boyfriend now, I suppose. 

I groan, attempting to roll over but Sage grabs my shoulder and flips me back over, digging her fingers lovingly into my skin. “I love you Rea, I do. But you have to get out of this bed. He’s not worth it.”

She’s right. I know she is. But we had been dating for nearly 2 years, mostly. It was on and off, but we had talked about marriage, kids, all of it. I thought he would be my forever but apparently, I was his “for now”. 

Fuck this asshole.

I sit up quickly, nearly colliding with Sage, and yank the covers off me, determination flooding my veins, choking out the hurt. For now, at least. 

“Alright, alright. I’m up.”

Sage points to the bathroom. “First, please take a shower. Then we’re going to Mick’s.” 

I’d almost forgotten about Mick’s, Sage’s favorite bar. Probably because it’s full of rugged, blue-collar men and Sage definitely has a type. Not that I can blame her. 

“Ok, but I’m just going for you. And science.”

Sage snorts. “Sure, Rea. Sure. Don’t forget to shave.”

—--------------

An hour later and I’m walking into Mick’s front door, loud music vibrating through me. It’s busy, but I’ve seen it busier and we manage to snag a couple of stools at the bar. Within 10 minutes, Sage is led to the dance floor by some burly lumberjack, complete with flannel shirt and all. I throw my hand up in the air in a “what about me” motion as she glances behind her, shrugging and gesturing around the room before focusing all of her attention on the flannel clad bear of a man in front of her, who is surprisingly agile. I turn back to the bar, taking my hand off the top of my glass, tossing the last of the liquid down my throat, coughing slightly at the burn. I set my glass down, my finger trailing along the rim, wondering if I should call an Uber or wait for my friend, when a man slides in next to me, flagging down the bartender. 

“5 beers, please.” His voice has a slight drawl to it, his tone warming me all over. 

“Seems a lot for one man.” Where the hell did that courage come from?

The man, clad in a button up light blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up that opens to reveal a camo print shirt, turns his head to me and for what feels like days, I’m rendered speechless. This man is gorgeous - a sloping nose,  sandy blonde hair that flips out from behind his backward hat, some patchy facial hair, and the most intensely blue eyes I’ve ever seen. They glance quickly down my body and back up, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. 

“Ain’t all for me, sweetheart. Got a table full of impatient assholes waiting for a beer.”

I cock my head to the side. “You lose a bet or something?”

The man tips his head back and laughs, his shoulders shaking with it and I feel my body tingle. I could listen to that sound forever. 

“How the hell did you know that?” His smile is wide, all of his attention on me, his eyebrows raised in question.

I shrug. “I’d send the guy who lost a bet to get the first round, at least.”

He chuckles. “Smart girl…I’m Ben. Friends call me Benny.”

I tell him my name. “But my friends call me Rea.”

“I like that. Nice to meet you, Rea.” He sticks his hand out to shake mine, but before I can, 4 beers slide in front of him and he glances down at them, his shoulders dropping ever so slightly. 

Finding courage from somewhere, I lay my hand on his forearm and have to resist squeezing. “You have to go back so soon?”

He smiles again, the skin around his eyes crinkling with it. “Nah, sweetheart. I’ll be right back. Promise me you’ll wait right here?” There go the eyebrows again, pulling together and making him look like a puppy. Fuck I am so screwed.

“I’ll be waiting.”

He hesitates for a brief second before taking my hand and kissing the back of it. “Now that’s something to make a man move fast.” He winks, grabs the four beers, and heads off into the crowd, making his way towards the back of the room. Hate to see him leave, but damn I’m loving watching him go, his 6’3 frame easily visible over the crowd. He drops off the beers somewhere at the back of the room, turning quickly to push his way back through the crowd, his eyes locking on mine and giving me a sly smile. 

“You waited.” He slides back into the barstool next to me as I pull my leg from it, the universal gesture for this is saved.

Fuck his eyes are so blue. “You came back.”

A smile plays at the corner of his lips. “Did you think I wouldn’t?”

I look down for a moment, my mind going back to my ex and all of his cheating, making me feel less than. Benny seems to sense something, his large hand hesitating a moment before he gently squeezes my arm. “You ok?”

I shake my head, my eyes locking back on his blues. “Yeah. I’m great now you’re here.”

Benny is easy to talk to, fun, and flirty. He’s in Delta Force, or was, with his actual brother, one of the men that he’d owed a beer to earlier. We talk about everything and anything, Benny eventually pulling me to the dance floor and whisking me about, sometimes dancing and other times being silly and smiling when I laugh. After several songs, we need a break, managing to snag a couple of stools at the bar, sipping on a couple of drinks. 

“So you live local?” He asks me, taking another swig from his beer.

I nod. “Yeah. I don’t typically come here, but my friend Sage dragged me out of the house.”

“Well remind me to thank her. She here?”

“Actually,” I turn and look out at the crowd for several moments, finally seeing her in the back corner, making out with Flannel Bear Man. I chuckle. “Yeah, she’s a little occupied.”

Benny chuckles, taking another swig of his beer, his free hand hesitating a moment before landing on my bare thigh, just above my knee. “Well I can keep you company.” 

His warm hand against my skin has my brain short-circuiting. I can’t think of what to say so I return his question. “Are you local?”

He nods, his thumb slowly rubbing circles across my skin. “Yeah. But some water main or somethin’ broke in my building. They put us all up in hotels until they fix it. Burst a few pipes.”

“Oh no! Is your stuff ok?” I place my hand over his on my leg, giving it a little squeeze and move it further up my thigh, heat immediately rushing to an area not far from where his hand is. 

He clears his throat. “Uh, y-yeah. Well, I had some water damage but didn’t lose anythin’ big. They just have to put down new floors.”

The music volume suddenly goes up by several volumes, turning the place into a mini club. Benny winces and I can see that it triggers him, the loud sounds and people becoming a little much. I lean in closer to his ear, gently rubbing circles into the back of his hand. 

“It’s too fucking loud! Wanna get out of here?” I pull my head back to look at him, our faces only an inch apart. His eyes flit between mine, briefly pausing on my lips.

“If you’re sure, hell yeah.”

I smile and he returns it before I lean back into his ear. “Let me flag my friend down and let her know. Stay right here so I don’t lose you.”

He turns his head, his nose brushing against my cheek. “I’ll be right here.” Hating that I have to move, I gently place his hand on his thigh and give him a wink before turning, scanning the corner where I had last seen Sage. She’s still there, Flannel Bear Man sucking on her neck. I force my way through the crowd and eventually emerge in front of her. Sage’s gaze takes a moment to settle on me.

“Rea! Where’ve you been?” She yells above the music.

I gesture to where I came from. “At the bar. Waiting for you.”

She gasps as Flannel Bear Man starts to bite her skin. “S-sorry, Rea. I-”

I cut her off, not wanting to intrude any longer. “No worries. I’m getting out of here. With a guy. I’ll get an Uber.”

Sage reaches out and grips my wrist, breaking the suction from Flannel Man who only seems to just realize I’m standing here. 

“A guy? You found someone? Do you need condoms?”

“Sage! I have to go!”

“Wait!” She pulls her clutch from somewhere and digs around in it, quickly sliding a few foiled square packages in my hand. “ Remember, it’s just a rebound. Don’t get attached. Have fun and be safe!”

I can’t help the heat in my cheeks, but I tuck the condoms in my bag. “Thanks. I’ll ping you my location.”

Sage releases my wrist and smiles at me before I turn back to Benny, shoving my way through more bodies on the dance floor. I emerge on the other side and see him still sitting where I left him, hat turned backward and looking so fucking hot. 

This is all so unlike me, but I like Benny. Sage’s words echo through my head “it’s just a rebound. Have some fun.”

I walk up to Benny and he turns his head, standing and giving me a wide smile. “Ready to go, sweetheart?”

I nod and he offers me his hand, which I happily accept, his touch warming me all over as he guides us through the crowd and out the front door, the volume immediately decreasing the moment the door closes behind us. 

“Now I can hear myself think!” Benny chuckles as he pulls my hand to his lips, lightly brushing them against my knuckles, his puppy dog eyes on mine. “Did you drive?

“Hhhm? Oh, uh no. Uber.”

Benny nods. “I have my jeep. I can drive us somewhere? Unless you’d feel safer using Uber?”

I study him for a moment, deciding that I trust him. “I love Jeeps.”

He smiles, his grip on my hand tightening slightly as he directs me to the parking lot, chatting a little too fast about his Jeep, like he’s nervous. He helps me into the passenger side, sliding across the hood to make it to the driver’s side quicker, smiling at my laugh. He starts the Jeep and gets the ac started before turning to me.

“Where to?”

It’s just a rebound. Have fun. “I’d love to see your hotel.”

His eyebrows raise, that same smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Yeah? You don’t have to. I mean, we could just get a burger or somethin’.”

I look down at my hands in my lap. Did I misread the signals? He was definitely coming on to me, right? I wasn’t reading into that? Before I can spiral further, Benny puts his hand over mine. “Hey, look. I like you and think you’re fucking hot as hell and would love to take you to my room to uh, show you the room. But I don’t want to presume or make you feel obligated or anything.”

I would choose a fucking gentlemen for a rebound. Fuck. I close my hand over his and meet his eyes. “Thanks, Benny. I don’t want to push you or presume either.”

He chuckles once, removing his hand to put his Jeep in reverse and then back into drive. “Sweetheart, you can take advantage of me any day.”

That breaks the awkwardness and has us laughing, falling back into conversation easily as Benny navigates through traffic. Gently, I lay his hand on my bare thigh again, wrapping my hand over his. He’s talking about something, I honestly can’t focus because he’s started to move, his fingers tracing slow lines across my skin as his hand moves further up my leg, getting closer to where I desperately want him to be. We hit a red light and the Jeep goes quiet, Benny turning to look at me as he slides his hand further up, his pinkie finger just barely tracing the crease of my thigh, heat and wet pooling just beyond his touch. My lips part and I let out a gasp of air, my eyes finding his. 

There’s a moment of hesitation but then I grip his shirt, pulling him towards me, our lips crashing together. He nips at my bottom lip and I gasp, Benny taking full advantage to slide his tongue into my open mouth, a small moan escaping me. His free hand leaves the steering wheel to grip the back of my head, holding me to him as he explores my mouth. The car behind us honks and we jump apart, the light having already turned green. Benny sticks his hand up to apologize to the car behind us, driving on, but immediately places his hand back on me, this time, his pinkie grazes up my panties and I squirm a little in my seat, not used to this much attention. He stills his movements.

“Is it too much?” He’s actually concerned.

“More like, not enough.”

Benny makes it to his hotel in record time.

Heated touches and kisses down the hallway has Benny dropping his room key a few times. As he tries to jam it into the lock, I slide my hands around him from behind, moving up his stomach from under his shirt and fuck he has a nice body, my hands moving lightly over his toned chest. He finally jams the key into the lock and flings the door open, tossing his keys on top of the dresser. He spins back around to face me, his eyes blown wide and dark with lust. 

He swallows hard. “Are you…are you sure?”

I step close to Benny, gently take his wrist and turn his hand palm up. One hand still holding his, I open my bag and fish out one of the foil squares, and place the condom in Benny’s hand. He glances down at it before looking back at me, a smirk playing at the corner of his lips.

“Rea, did you get a condom from your friend?”

I can feel the heat blooming in my cheeks. “No! I mean, technically yes but she-”

He cuts me off with his lips, one hand wrapped around my head and the other grips my hips, fingers digging into my skin as he pulls me flush against him. I can feel him hard beneath his jeans and I moan into his kiss, pressing myself against him so I can try to relieve some of the rapidly increasing hear between my thighs. He moves us and I feel the bed hit the back of my knees, but he holds me tighter before breaking the kiss. Both of us rip the shirts from our bodies, my bra quickly following. I reach for my pants but he grabs my wrists and stills them, his blue eys falling to my chest. He gently cups a boob and lightly pinches the nipple and I gasp, the small movement shooting straight between my legs. 

Then Benny sinks to his knees, eye level with my pants. He pops open the button on my jeans, sliding them down my legs where I help him kick them off. His large fingers trace the outline of my panties, the heat pooling there as I gasp at his touch. He hooks his fingers into them and slides them down my legs too, his eyes locked on the space between my thighs. 

“Fuck you’re beautiful,” he half whispers. A half chuckle escapes me before it turns into a moan as he slides his nose up my slit, bumping into my clit. He growls, using my hips to push me down on the bed, tossing my legs over his shoulders like it was nothing. 

Which I have no time to think about because his mouth is on me, his hands on my inner thighs, pressing them further apart, widening his canvas. His tongue explores me, seeking all the areas that have me writhing under his firm grip. He somehow finds spots that I didn’t even know existed, sucking lightly, lapping, the coil of pleasure quickly tightening until a sound erupts from me, somewhere between a chant and a moan, my fingers gripping his hair to keep him in the same spot as he prolongs my release. 

My head is in a blissful haze, but I manage a whine as he pulls away from me, taking his pants off when he does. I hear the sound of the condom opening and I watch him as he rolls the condom on himself. I lean up on my elbows to see better, because he’s gorgeous, not girthy but longer, and definitely not anywhere near a size I’ve had in me. 

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’ll take my time.” I blink, looking up at his face and see that there’s a hint of concern there, like he wants to make sure I’m comfortable.

I scoot further up on the bed to give him more space. “Don’t worry about me. I can take you.”

His eyes darken and he grabs my ankle, yanking me back down towards the end of the bed. I squeal, my body heating up again as he lowers himself between my legs. He pauses, his eyes bright as he glances between my own. 

“You’re so beautiful,” there’s that almost whisper voice again, his eyebrows pulling together so he looks like a puppy.

“So are you, Benny.” We take each other in for a few more moments, my body about to burst with all of the tension and hormones racing through it. “Now please fuck me, now.” I know I’m begging, but I don’t care. 

And neither does Benny, apparently, as he smirks. “Yes ma’am.”

He slowly presses his hips forward and I let out a moan as he stretches me, pushing further and further in. I’m not sure how, but he bottoms out, dropping his head to my chest, breathing heavy for a moment. 

“Fuck, you feel so good. Gimme a sec so I don’t blow my load like a teenager.”

I manage some sort of confirmation sound, but then a moment later, he slowly pulls out and presses back in, repeating this a few times so I can adjust to his length. It’s driving me mad and I writhe under him, feeling every inch of him as he slowly moves in and out of me. He pulls out, his hips pausing as he looks down at me and it’s like time stops. Just for a moment. Then his lips crash to mine as he pushes forward quickly, sliding into me in one fast movement and I cry out, my hands gripping his biceps, nails digging into his skin as his hips set a fast pace, his direction and speed adjusting to my moans of pleasure. Every time he pushes in, he hits a spot somewhere at the back of me, a place no one has touched, and it sends sparks through my vision, my entire body like a livewire as he pushes me towards the edge.

“Fuck, Benny, I’m gonna-” my body ignites, pleasure radiating out from my cunt, his name tumbling from my lips in praise, begging him to keep going, or stop, or do it again. I have no idea, my head so engulfed in pleasure. 

“Fuck!” He yells, pressing into me one last time before he grunts, little pants and gasps tumbling from him. His head falls to my chest as he comes down. 

We stay like that for several moments, trying to catch our breath. Eventually, Benny pulls out, tossing the condom in the trash can by the bed before rolling onto his back next to me.

“What’s your third favorite dinosaur?”

I laugh, my entire body moving with it as Benny joins in, tears running down our cheeks as my movements turn me towards him. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever been asked that question, let alone just after sex.”

Benny shrugs, smiling. “Had to break the tension and awkwardness somehow.” 

“Well that definitely works!”

His face grows serious. “You didn’t answer the question.”

After that laughing fit, I think on it a moment. “Pterodactyl. Because they can fly.”

Benny nods. “Interesting. What’s your favorite then?”

“Nope. I’m saving that answer for after round 2.”

His eyes grow dark almost instantly. “Round 2? Like, tonight?”

“Well, my friend gave me a whole row of condoms and I don’t want to take any home.”

—----

A few hours later, I’m laying in Benny’s bed, thoroughly fucked, Benny sprawled across the bed on his stomach, lightly snoring. He’s so fucking beautiful. But then Sage’s words echo in my head “It’s just a rebound. Have fun and bounce.” I sigh, unsure of what to do. I actually do like Benny, but is that just because he’s the first guy to actually pay attention to me in a long while? Self-doubt seeps in, my ex’s hurtful words and actions taking away the blissful feeling I’d had moments before. I shake my head, telling myself that if any of it was true, I wouldn’t be in a gorgeous man’s bed, a man who just spent the last few hours pulling every spark of pleasure possible from me. 

I quietly stand, gathering up my clothes. I get them on and lace up my boots, trying not to wake Benny. It’s better if I leave before he wakes up. Rebounds don’t work out anyway, so why prolong the inevitable? 

I turn to head towards the door and see the hotel pad of paper and pen next to the phone on the dresser. I stare at it a moment before grabbing the pen, scrawling a quick “Thank You” with a heart at the end. I slide it under his keys and walk to the door, glancing back at the sleeping form of Benny, the man who just restored my confidence. I close it quietly behind me, making sure the lock clicks into place and request an Uber to take me home. 

—----

Over the next few weeks, I try to get Benny out of my head. I try to stop thinking about him or talking about him. I know he’s a rebound, and those relationships don’t work out, as Sage has reminded me more than once. And I’m not sure I’m ready for a new relationship. I think. But talking to him had been so easy, effortless. Like we had been friends since forever. In a moment of desperation, I looked up the hotel on my Uber app and called it, knowing they wouldn’t give me any information about Benny. I can’t blame them. I don’t even know his last name. 

—----

2 lines. The pink lines emerge bright against the white of the testing stick, showing me the same result as the other 4 pregnancy tests I’d taken. My stomach lurches again and I make it to the toilet just in time. I close the lid and flush, wiping my mouth with a washcloth as I stare at my reflection. How the fuck did this happen? We’d used a condom every time, and he used them correctly. It must have been a faulty condom. Fuck, Benny. How am I going to tell him? No really, how? I don’t even know his last name and now I’m having his child. A knock at the door pulls me from my spiral.

“Rea?”

I sniff and wipe my face again. “Pregnant.”

She’s silent for just a beat. “Can I come in?”

I make a noise in approval and she opens the door, heads directly for me and pulls me into a hug where I let myself lose it. Tears streaming down my face, dry heaving breaths, all of it. It takes me a while to calm down enough to talk. Sage wipes my face with a cool cloth and it helps to soothe me a bit more. 

“Are you going to tell him?”

I scoff. “How, Sage?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know. Call the hotel? They have to have his info.”

I shake my head. “They won’t give it to me. Especially since I don’t know his last name.”

Sage cocks her head to the side. “How do you know?”

“Oh. I uh, I may have called a few weeks ago to uh try and uh…find. Him.”

She opens her mouth and then closes it. “That doesn’t really matter now. Do you know what you want to do?”

There’s so much I don’t know. I don’t know Benny’s last name. I don’t know where he lives, just that it’s local. I don’t know what he’d even say. I don’t know how this happened. I don’t know a lot. But there’s one thing that I did know right away.

“I’m keeping the baby.”

Sage takes a deep breath and nods once. “I can’t wait to be an auntie.”

—----

“Come on, Rea! You need to get out.”

I sigh, rubbing the side of my belly. “I’m 6 months pregnant, Sage. I don’t belong at an MMA fight.”

Sage copies my sigh and places her hand over mine. “You’ve been cooped up in your room for weeks. Just…come out to get some fresh air?”

“By sitting in a crowded auditorium surrounded by drunks?”

Sage shrugs. “I’m sure they won’t be drunk drunk. Besides, Henry has a special section all roped off just for us.” 

Henry is super sweet. The burly bear sized, flannel clad man from Mick’s had fit right into our friendship, even becoming a sort of surrogate brother for me. And it’s clear to me that he loves Sage with everything he is just by the way he looks at her.

I sigh again, shrugging in a defeated manner. Sage squeals and grips my arm. “Thank you! Oh, you’ll have fun! Just wait and see!”

So now I find myself in a crowded auditorium, surrounded by people drinking. Well, ok the crowd isn’t bad around us. Sage was right - Henry had literally roped off an entire section just for us and glared at anyone who tried to grumble about it. He was really into MMA and had a couple of cousins that were fighting so he always had tickets to some match that was happening. Are they called matches? I don’t know. 

Whatever they’re called, we’re a few in, Henry leaning over to tell us about each of the fighters as they’re announced. These matches are pretty brutal - I didn’t realize just how violent they can get, even with rules in place. The last match ends and the guy with the mop comes back out, cleaning away the blood that came from the last guy losing several teeth with a blow. Once cleaned, the microphone squeaks back on to announce the next fighters.

“From Red Feather Lakes, Colorado, standing 6’3, weighing in at 195 pounds, I give you BEN MILLER!”

A familiar memory scratches at the back of my head as the crowd screams and the doors open from the locker rooms somewhere in the throngs of people now on their feet. Henry leans in to yell in my ear.

“This guy is great! He’s kicked my cousin’s asses a few times! He…”

Whatever he said after fades into the background, which has dimmed to a loud hum, as Ben Miller struts into the ring, tossing his shirt to the side, revealing a very familiar tattoo and his face finally comes into my view.

Benny. 

My stomach leaps into my throat, my heart hammering through my chest as I stare down at the man who I could never shake from my mind, even before I was having his child. Which he doesn’t know about. 

A bell dings and Benny takes a few steps towards his opponent, who immediately clocks him in his jaw, Benny’s head flying backwards. The man manages to get a couple more hits in, Benny almost absorbing all of the hits. But then the man hesitates and Benny takes that moment to attack, winding his way around the ring, jabbing at his opponent in swift, concise, planned motions. The man only stays up for a few more seconds before crumbling to the ground and giving in. The crowd goes wild as the ref holds Benny’s arm in the air, blood trickling down from his nose, a giant smile on his face. My stomach lurches and I quickly stand, yelling something about the bathroom to Sage as I grab my jacket and run for the doors, the room suddenly too small and loud. I shove open the arena’s double doors and stumble out into the nearly empty hallway. The doors close behind me and I pause a moment, taking a few deep breaths to calm myself. But then the doors open behind me again and I attempt to stand up right.

“Rea?”

Benny’s voice echoes down the hallway and through me, my insides simultaneously tightening with nerves but also excited and swooning at his fucking calming tone. My back is to him but I don’t move. He takes a step closer.

“Rea? Is that you?”

Fuck. This isn’t how I would want him to find out. But how would he find out? It’s not like I could find him. I didn’t even know his last name. I don’t-

“Are you ok?”

His voice is closer now, only a few steps behind me. I swallow hard, willing myself to hold it together as I turn to face him, keeping my jacket covering my belly. His bright blue eyes immediately find mine, a smile quicking spreading across his beautiful face. He’s still shirtless and I have to focus to keep my eyes on his face.

“Rea! It is you! I thought I saw your face in the crowd! Did you see me fight?”

I manage a small smile. “Y-yeah. I did. Congrats.”

He shrugs. “Thanks. That guy was easy but when I saw you, I thought maybe he’d hit my head harder than I thought. What…I mean uh, how are you?”

I sigh, my small smile dropping. “I…I have to tell you something.”

His expression turns serious. “Ok. But if it’s about me not calling you, you sort of left me without a last name or number.” He chuckles but stops when I don’t react. 

I hold his gaze a moment longer before letting my jacket fall to the side, exposing my belly under my form fitting black dress. His eyes immediately fall to my belly, his head turning to the side as he takes it in. I can see the moment it clicks, only a second or 2 after I moved my jacket, his eyes widening as his brain works double time to do the math. He points to himself.

“Is that…am I…the dad?”

I nod, rubbing my hand along the side of my belly where the baby is currently moving. “Yes.” I wait for the yell or scoff of disbelief, storming off, telling me I won’t get anything. All of what I had anticipated. But when I look up at him I see tears shining in his bright blues.

“You’re not fuckin’ with me?” His eyebrows pinch together, enhancing the shine from his tears and I shake my head.

“No. You’re the only one I’ve been with since my ex.”

His eyes shift down to my belly again and his hands start to reach out, but then he stops, looking back up at me. “May I?”

I give him a small smile and nod. “Yeah.”

Benny drops to his knees in front of me, placing each of his large hands on either side of my belly, rubbing small circles into my skin. I take his hand and move it, placing it right over where I’d just felt movement. 

“He was just kicking over here.”

His eyes shoot up to mine. “A boy? I’m gonna have a son?”

Fuck how can his eyebrows do that? “Yeah. A son.”

And the tears start to fall, quietly streaking down his cheeks as he laughs, trying to dab at them with the hand I hadn’t just moved. “Hey, little man. It’s me. Your dad.” A hard kick lands right in Benny’s hand and he whoops, rubbing the spot with his thumb. “You got your old man’s feet!” He continues to talk to my belly in the middle of the hallway, not caring if anyone sees him. His face is animated and lit up, despite the dried blood caked under his nose and for a second, I can see an entire future laid out before us. A wedding, a house, dancing together, maybe more kids. The love. It’s only when I snap out of this fairytale vision that I realize I was smoothing back his hair. I yank my hands back and drop them to my sides.

“Shit I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-”

He glances up at me. “Nah it’s ok. Actually, it felt good.” He watches me for a moment before his expression hardens. “Ok I need to get off this floor.”

He waves away my offer of a helping hand, gesturing towards my belly as he groans, standing to his full height before stretching out his legs. “I’m gettin’ too old to be kneeling on hard ass floors.”

We’re quiet for several moments, each of us just watching the other. 

“Why did you leave without sayin’ anything?”

I take a deep breath. “Benny, I…I’m sorry. I thought about you after that night. A lot. My friend had told me to just make it a rebound, to get my ex out of my head. Which it did, but what I didn’t expect was..well..you. I liked, well…like you a lot. You make me laugh, have some amazing stories, you’re funny, and hot as hell. But you also make me feel seen and heard. Like I wasn’t just there for convenience, which is ironic considering how we met, I realize that. I thought about trying to find you but the hotel wouldn’t tell me anything and I didn’t have anything to go by. And then I found out I was pregnant and I feel so guilty for not t- telling y- you, but I di-didn’t know h-how. I’m so s-s-sorry!” I can’t fight the pregnancy hormones anymore and the tears come, streaming down my face as I try to turn away, looking down and wiping furiously at my face. But then he’s there, pulling me towards him as best he can, his hand cradling the back of my head. 

“Hey, it’s ok. I never did tell you my last name or ask for your number neither. I could’ve but I didn’t.” My crying slows and he pulls back just enough to look down at me, wiping away a tear. “And I’ve regretted it ever since. I haven’t stopped thinkin’ about you either, Rea. But I really had no way of finding you. But now that we’ve found each other again, can I have your number? I’d really like to take you to dinner.”

I let out a shaky chuckle. “It’s ok, Benny. You don’t have to do that.”

He cocks his head. “Do…what?”

“Take me to dinner. Listen, you can be as involved as you want. I won’t hold you to anything. I just wanted you to know. But you don’t have to-”

“No. I’m not asking you out because you’re pregnant. I’m asking you out because I’ve wanted to for months and regretted it every day that I didn’t.”

“Benny, really. It’s ok.”

“No, I- will you wait right here a moment?”

I nod and he places his hand on my belly once more, his son giving him another thump before he practically runs back through the double doors. Once they close, I walk over to the wall and lean my back against it, my emotions running through me. Is he telling the truth? Were we both just fucking idiots? That’s an obvious yes. But still, I don’t want him to feel like he owes me. It would be nice to hang with him again, though. No, Rea. Don’t make him feel forced. The double doors fly open and Benny comes running up to me, his wallet in his hand. 

“I don’t need money, Ben-”

He shakes his head. “No. Well I mean if you need it, I’ll gladly give it but that’s not…here.” He slides out a small slip of paper from behind his driver’s license and unfolds it, handing it to me. 

It’s the thank you note I scribbled to him and left in the hotel.

Tears well in my eyes again. “You..you kept this?” 

His eyes sparkle as they look at me. “Hell yeah I did. I told you, I couldn’t stop thinkin’ about you. But I had no way of findin’ you. I went to the bar every night hoping to see you walk in. But I never did.”

“I got too busy with work and then..” I gesture down to my belly and he laughs, placing a hand on my stomach again.

“Yeah I can’t blame you for not wanting to be in a bar. Especially your first trimester.”

My eyebrows raise. “What do you know about trimesters?”

“My sister was a hot fuckin’ mess during hers. Sick all the time, emotional, all of it. She felt bad about it too no matter how much we told her not to worry. My niece is 5 now and has the attitude to match.” He chuckles. “I can’t wait to meet this little guy..my little guy. Ours? Fuck this is hard to say.”

“Either way, I’m just glad you can say it.” I clutch the paper in my hand for a moment before handing it back to him. 

“So when’s that dinner?”

We’re married a year later. 

---------------------------------

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[explicit-tae]

Hey can you write a jk fic about a world where people can't express anything like they can't laugh,cry or feel any type of emotions and they don't know about these and then jk feels something after seeing oc like that ...

Actually I don't know how to tell you 😭😭

Since there's not really a lot to go off of, I just did what I could with what you gave me 😅 hopefully its similar to what you were intending to say 🫶🏽

Cosmic Balance

Every universal realm has a positive and negative - good or bad. Jungkook manages to cross the portal from his dystopian world to your utopian one and decides that he'd do anything to stay with you.

Word Count: 8.786

Warning: dystopian world, sex-work/brothel, protected/unprotected sex, mentions of cheating, kissing, virtual reality sex, nipple sucking, oral sex, riding, creampie, slight dirty talk, fingering,

Alternate Universe

“Just try it…” is all Jungkook can hear in his mind. His eyes flash to the large digital clock flashing outside his window - he was supposed to be asleep now, as was everyone in his world. “It’s a portal to a whole different world. Just make sure you’re back by 6 am.”

Jungkook’s hands tremble as he grasps the cover on his mirror. It’s one - of many - forbidden rules, completely unforgivable. He never questioned why all reflected areas should be covered as night came, but then again, it was a question that should never be answered.

Jungkook’s world is dark and dull - gray. He was raised upon these rules - he and millions of others. There were rules that were meant to be followed and going against them meant dire consequences - death always an option. 

Jungkook removes the cover quickly and swallows the lump in his throat. He stares at his reflection - the terrified look in his eyes and his heaving chest. He licks his lips, the thought of his breaking a forbidden rule has the hairs on his skin rising.

Jungkook looks closer at his reflection, his finger reaching out to touch. There’s a rippling effect in the reflection that when Jungkook touches, he visibly is horrified when his hand falls through the mirror.

Jungkook snatches himself away from the mirror and quickly covers the mirror with the cover once more. He falls onto his bed, heart thumping that they were right - his friends were correct. There was a whole different world besides the one he’s in now and the thought scares him.

Jungkook often wished that there was a different world he could live in. A world where there weren't strict rules for being excited - he could laugh freely in public when something was funny and not risk being arrested and fined.

Was there truly a world that allowed their people to be free - where the atmosphere was carefree and loving. Did the other world allow their people to laugh, smile - even cry - in public and not the confines of their own room. Did the other people only arrest those who were actually committing heinous crimes, and not because they were a minute late on curfew?

Did the other world allow their people to love and marry whoever they wanted? Jungkook thinks how in a few years at the age of 28 he would be married to whoever his government chose - based on status - and he would be expected to have a child no later than a year. Women who couldn’t bear children would be forced to be alone and provide for themselves. They were encouraged to be whores and work in brothels - “it’s not like you could bear a child anyways” is the harsh words the government would speak to them.

Men would oftentimes be ridiculed, losing job opportunities and their status in life lowering. 

Jungkook thinks how his life would be if he was in another world where he could love who he wants to and not who he was chosen to.

It’s what Jungkook thinks when he sees you, the same work attire as his. You were soon destined to marry someone else just like he was and he knows that he could never have you. There was always a possibility that you would be chosen for him - but Jungkook doesn’t allow himself to think about it. He isn’t an idiot and he understands that you were going to be taken away by some other man and married - and you’d have that man’s child instead.

Your eyes meet Jungkook’s for a moment and he glances away. He was staring again, he thinks. You’re a smart woman and you know how he feels for you and understands that he could never act upon them. You weren’t a barren woman - and a relationship - sexual or not - prior to marriage to an unbarren woman is one of many forbidden rules.

“Still looking at Y/N?” 

The seat beside Jungkook is taken by Taehyung. His friend opens the laptop and begins to type, continuing his work. He speaks in a low tone to not disturb the peace - doing so could lead to arrest.

“She could report you for harassment.” 

You could, Jungkook thinks. Women have reported men for harassment all the time - harrassment being even glancing their way if they didn’t appreciate the act. 

You could, but you never did.

“Have you gone to the brothel? Maybe you need to let off some steam.” Taehyung glances his way a bit, his typing not ceasing. “Staring at her isn’t going to make things easier.”

Jungkook doesn’t respond - because he knows Taehyung is correct. The last thing he did want was for you to report him for harassment. He could go to the brothel, sure, but there was no real connection there. He could fuck for as long as he desired, but there was no true connection to the women he was fucking nor did he ever know what these women looked like as their upper and lower body are separated. 

Sex shouldn’t be so quick nor easy - so one sided. Jungkook wants to know did these women feel the same as he did - even if it was a quick high. Did they enjoy the way he fucked them or did they want him to be slower - or faster, go deeper. 

“There you go,” Taehyung murmurs, his fingers typing fast. “in your head again. Did you do as we told you?”

Jungkook sends a e-document and shakes his head. “Freaked out.” he murmurs. 

Taehyung snorts quietly. “I knew you would.”

Jungkook sighs. “It isn’t that easy.”

“How so? You walk through the mirror during an in-between and make sure you’re back on time.” Taehyung shrugs. He glances at you for a moment, noticing how your eyes are upon them - mainly Jungkook. You appear to be surprised that Taehyung catches you and quickly, you turn away. 

“What are you afraid of?” Taehyung murmurs.

What was he afraid of?

There was a lot to be afraid of. He had never broken a forbidden rule before - uncovering a mirror after hours  was an unforgivable one, and now he understood why. There was a whole different universe out there that was seemingly different than his own - he wouldn’t know how to navigate it. His friends had told him stories that appeared to be just that, stories. Something fictional and unbelievable. 

Jungkook was afraid that if he went to this world, that he’d never want to return to his own.

Jungkook is disgusted with himself - disgusted in how he finds himself in the brothel.

Not only Jungkook - but many unmarried men starting at the age of 21-27. This was the only place where it didn’t matter how loud you were. You could scream, yell, curse - hell, cry. You can display any type of emotion inside the brothel.

The brothel had color and life to it - not the sad beige and gray of the outside world. It appeared to be like a dream - was this what the other world was like? Colorful? Cherry? Maybe that’s why his friend visited at night. It was like a vacation away from the reality in which they lived.

“Kook!”

As arm wraps around Jungkook’s shoulders. 

“Not surprised to see you here after the way you acted at work.” Taehyung says loudly, his natural state booming inside of the brothel. “You’re late. We have to all be gone in an hour.”

Jungkook knows this - he never intended on coming until the last minute. It feels like he’s doing the walk of shame coming inside the brothel, but no one cares. All of these men inside of here were looking to get away; to let off steam from the world they lived in.

“You look depressed.” Taehyung snorts. “You know we don’t judge here.”

“Exactly, Kook.” Jimin places a hand on his shoulder, seemingly appearing from thin air. “I think you should try virtual reality.”

Jungkook scoffs. “It’s bad enough I’m in here.” he murmurs.

“Tae told me the way you were looking at Y/N.”

Of course Taehyung did.

“She’s a fertile woman. Meaning she will be married off to whoever the government chooses as would you.”

Jimin was never the one to sugar coat anything. Jungkook could only respect it.

“That doesn’t mean you can’t pretend.” Taehyung slaps Jungkook's back. “I’ll pay for it.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened. “That’ll be expensive.” he says with a shake of his head.

Casual sex was free and paid by the government. At first it’s weird - surrounded by men who were all taking turns on fucking multiple girls in the wall that you couldn’t see. But after a while it got easier and Jungkook only was there to cum and go.

Virtual Reality, however, was not free. It costs to have a private room, a girl and the virtual contact lenses to alter reality. You could choose whatever reality you desired for a price - and Jungkook already felt shitty enough about coming here.

“You’re never going to have Y/N unless fate is on your side.” Jimin says. “And fate is on no one side in our world.”

Meaning, Jungkook had to give up on having you chosen as his partner; an act he already gave up on. 

“But just for an hour, you can pretend to be with her. It’ll feel good. I promise.”

Taehyung’s words ring through his ears. He’s done this before, Jungkook thinks. He only has a few months left until he’s set to be married, the woman he once wanted far from his reach.

“Okay.” Jungkook murmurs sullenly.

Jungkook is disgusted with himself already - and even more so. But he was a man and he couldn’t hide what desires he had for you.

All the desires he did have for you were taken out on the woman who’s name or face he did not know - he moaned for you. He called you pretty and beautiful and in his mind, he was fucking you.

Jungkook likes to think that in another world, he and you could be together. That you and he could talk freely without others speculating he was harassing you - a fertile unwed woman. But as of right now, he would pretend he was fucking you and not another woman in the brothel during virtual reality.

Jungkook’s eyes watch the way your face contort with pleasure as he fucks deep into you. There was only an hour until he had to leave and he took full advantage of it. He isn’t sure how many times he came, filling the condom he wore completely - but he never wants to stop. 

Jungkook doesn’t want this reality with you to end - even deep down he knows that this wasn’t real. Those weren’t your moans nor was it your reaction to him but it’s what he has to deal with to feel closer to you.

“Ah, look at you.” Jimin smirks as he eyes Jungkook exiting the room. His eyes are slightly red due to having to remove the contact lenses. “Feel better?”

No, Jungkook thinks, but he only nods his head. 

 “What are you afraid of?”

Jungkook places a hand towards the mirror, his eyes widening as it begins to go through just as it did the night prior. He has to coach himself to do it - this was okay. He could do it - he could make it through the portal just fine.

As long as he was back before 6 am, he was good. No one would have to know that he was committing a crime that could be punishable by death. 

The portal sucks him in completely - it’s dark and cold. Jungkook’s mind races and he opens his mouth to scream, but he can’t. The feeling is as if he’s jumped from a high surface, gravity completely taking a toll on him.

Jungkook falls onto the ground with a thud, his hands not able to catch himself. He releases a low groan at the impact he’s faced crashing to the floor. He grumbles and pushes himself off of the ground. 

Jungkook’s eyes open and it’s then he realizes that he isn’t where he should be. This isn’t his room - even if it was nearly identical. The room had personality - not like the dull one he had back in his world. The ceiling was just as high as his back in his world but the bed is larger. He notices that the headboard - block - has a strange glow behind it and beneath the bed. It glows multiple colors that Jungkook finds fascinating. The large window - where outside displays a large digital clock for not only him, but for the surrounding homes to see - is covered by a long, dark curtain, blocking out the outside world. The closet is on the far right of the room and Jungkook’s curiosity peaks - his world, clothes weren’t expressive. They were bland and more of a uniform that most citizens wore.

Jungkook gasps, having strolled towards the closet and opened it. Even the clothes in this world had personality - different colors and textures. Long, short, tight or loose - it amazes him how people in this world could express themselves freely. 

“Does your girlfriend know you have me here?” a voice sounds from right outside the door that Jungkook leaps into the closet and hides, only sliding the door close a bit to see.

Jungkook is flabbergasted upon seeing himself - or, this new world version of him. Did this man have the same name as him, or was it just a look alike?

“Y/N’s not going to be here tonight.” Jungkook hears his voice and he stiffens. “She’s out with her friends.”

Y/N.

You.

You were in this universe, too. 

You and him - could Jungkook call this different version of this man “him”? Regardless, you and he were together.

You were his girlfriend in this universe.

And he was cheating on you - Jungkook wants to faint at the revelation alone that in this universe he had you. He had you - the person he wanted. There were no rules on sex outside of brothels here - nor did it appear that a government was controlling every aspect of life.

Jungkook had you in this universe - and he was cheating on you.

Jungkook couldn’t stay here any longer and watch himself be with another girl. He wouldn’t notice himself creeping out of the room - it's dimly lit and the only lights are that of the changing colorful ones. He’s slow with opening the door and closing it discreetly behind him.

The rest of the home is just as amazing as the bedroom - full of this version of him. There’s artwork displayed on the walls that catches Jungkook's eyes, but he doesn’t have the time to stop and appreciate it like he wants to because something else catches his eye. It’s in the hallway as he’s walking by.

A picture of you and him - together. You were smiling, arms wrapped firmly around him, your cheek pressed against his own. You looked beautiful; happy. He did, as well.

Jungkook touches the picture - were you different in this universe? Is this why he was cheating on you? There had to be a reason as to why this version of him would go against everything he wanted for one night with a woman when all he wanted was you.

Jungkook hears a muffled voice and his head snaps down the hall where his front door would be. He contemplates running, but he doesn’t. The door opens and his heart stops.

“Kookie.” you tilt your head and offer him a smile and then a confused look. “You’re still up?”

Jungkook doesn’t know what to say and it’s like his breath was taken away. You’re in front of him - you’re speaking to him.

You called him Kookie.

Your clothes are something he’d never see you wear in his world. Your dress is dark and tightly fitted and it shows a great amount of cleavage. Your skin looks so smooth and soft and his hands tremble to feel it beneath his palm.

“Are you okay?” you take a step forward, your heels clicking against the floor. You reach out to touch his forehead and Jungkook knows now that he isn’t okay. “You don’t feel hot-”

“Y/N.” Jungkook says, and this is his moment. He touches your face fondly, thumb pressing itself against your lips. 

You snicker. “What’s gotten into you?” you ask. “I know I said I would be out all night but I wanted to come home to you.”

Jungkook releases a shaky breath at your words. You wanted to come home to him - but not him, your version of him. The same Jungkook that was cheating on you now and expecting not to see you.

Jungkook doesn’t want that for you - even if this was his last time seeing you in this world. He doesn’t want to be the reason for your pain. “Let’s go out together.”

“Together?” you knit your brows. “Dressed like that?”

Jungkook looks down at his own attire - basic black t-shirt and jeans that would only be acceptable for him to wear at home back in his world - but maybe in this one it was exactly that; basic. 

“I just want to be with you.” Jungkook murmurs truthfully and you smile - a bright smile that causes his heart to sink. He would have to go home eventually, and he wouldn’t be able to see it anymore. 

“Okay.” you nod slowly, taking his hand in yours. “You hungry? We can go to Late Night Slice.”

Jungkook is shocked to see how crowded the streets are. Back in his world, no one was allowed outside past 9 pm. Even during the day, citizens had to walk in a straight line, no more than three people standing side by side. 

It was past curfew but yet here everyone was. People were laughing, littering the streets without a care in the world. There was a melodic tune playing, something he’s never heard before. 

“You act like you’ve never heard music before.”

You say it as though you can read him, Jungkook thinks.  “Music…” he murmurs, trailing off. 

There wasn’t any music where Jungkook was from, and now he’s realizing that his world was Hell compared to this. It was night time but yet, everything was so bright. The laughter from everyone surrounding them, the music - the atmosphere in general. 

Jungkook feels his skin erupt with goosebumps.

“Come,” you yank him lightly to get his attention and you fully have it. You take him to a small shop where only a few people were inside. The smell makes Jungkook’s stomach rumble and his mouth salivate. “I ordered ahead already, so it should be done.”

Order ahead? Jungkook wants to ask what you meant, but he doesn’t want to appear any more dumb than he was when it came to you and this world.

“I can take that.” Jungkook says as you go to grab a large tray of pizza - it smells as delicious as it looks and Jungkook cannot fathom how someone can be open and cook amazingly this late at night. 

“I’ll go get our drinks.” you smile at him brightly that it nearly causes Jungkook to drop the tray of food. “Go find us a table, okay?”

“Yes.” Jungkook nods, licking his lips. He wants to hurt himself - not really. Hurt this version of him. As you and he sit here and eat as a couple, he was cheating on you with another woman - one not worthy of his attention. 

Jungkook finds a table farther from everyone else and sits down, placing the tray of pizza onto the table. He watches from afar as you come back with two drinks in your hands and his lifts form into a small smile.

“What’s funny?” you ask him as you sit down across from him, placing the drink in front of him. 

“I’m not laughing.” Jungkook knits his brows. “You just look very beautiful.”

Jungkooks cheeks are red as he speaks.

You’re taken aback by the compliment. “Ah, really?” you snort. “You only ever call me beautiful when you’re fucking me.”

Jungkook’s throat tightens at your words and his breath hitches. You can speak so freely in this world, he thinks. There doesn’t need to be a hidden conversation of whispers or hushed murmurs. “I-I…” he doesn’t know what to say. On one hand, the thought of him being with you outside of virtual reality has him excited - but the other part of him finds this version of himself highly selfish. He cannot think about only calling you beautiful when he is intimate with you - especially in a world in which he doesn’t have to hide his love. “...You’re very beautiful to me, Y/N. Even outside of…sex.”

You blink a few times, watching Jungkook intently. Slowly, you begin to smile. “Thank you.” you say softly. “I think you’re beautiful, as well, Kookie.” you say teasingly. “Now let’s eat!”

Jungkook never wants to go back to his world. He doesn’t want to leave you behind with the version of him that doesn’t love you. You and he eat and it mainly consists of you talking to him while he listens closely - he isn’t sure of what you are talking about. He isn’t from a world where “clubs” or “bars” are normal - but they seem fun. 

Jungkook takes a sip of the drink you gave him and he immediately coughs. 

“Kookie? You okay?” you rush to place a napkin in his hands.

“W-What is this?” Jungkook smells the clear drink and his eyes widen as it begins to fizzle.

“Sprite…?” you tilt your head. “Does it taste funny?”

Funny wasn’t the word - it tasted strong. He hasn’t tasted anything like this before, the taste feels as if it’s stabbing against his taste buds and fighting against his throat.

It was a weird taste that Jungkook liked.

Jungkook begins to chug the rest of the drink entirely, his body shuddering at the amazing taste. It brings a rush through him.

You watch wide eyed as Jungkook slams the cup down against the table and burp. He places a hand over his mouth at his crude actions. “Excuse-”

“You’re so cute, Kookie!” you laugh at his actions, a sweet melodic laugh that he wants to hear for the rest of his life.

Jungkook finds himself never wanting to leave you, but needing to each time he’s visited and coincidentally managing to not come face to face with himself while doing so.

The first time he had to go through the portal, there was a longing feeling holding him back - the euphoric sense that this new world was better. It was colorful and full of life - returning back to his world left him with deep sorrow. He was coming down from a serotonin high and he realized that each time he did so, he was growing more and more depressed.

But Jungkook couldn’t bring himself to care. He would go through the drop of serotonin if it meant he could see you every night - and each night he did. He would visit you, somehow managing to avoid himself, and have an amazing time with you in this Utopian world. Each night was something different - you took him to midnight festivals that played “music” - an amazing tune with people singing and dancing and it’s something you forced him to do with you.

And Jungkook loved it - he adored dancing with you. He enjoyed being carefree and not feeling judgmental eyes upon him. He tried different foods that his world would never allow, drinks that caused his taste buds to go crazy and such sweet snacks that at times would cause his teeth to hurt.

This utopian world was amazing and each time he would return home, he hated it. He was exhausted from the lack of sleep but wouldn’t stop from returning the next night because it was worth it to get away from his world and to see you.

On his 12th day of returning to the Utopian world, Jungkook isn’t alone. He hears screaming coming from further into the home. He ventures outside of the room stealthy to see what’s wrong - mainly because he hears your voice. It’s strained and filled with pain - as is your appearance when his eyes catch you. His heart drops when his eyes catch your face - you’re crying, a black streak streaming down your cheeks. It’s makeup he now knows, having watched you put on the products and astonished when it enhances your beauty even more.

“Where are you planning on going, Y/N?” Jungkook hears his voice say, his tone far too aggressive for his liking. “You live here. With me.”

“You had another woman in the same bed that I sleep in Jungkook.”

Jungkook sighs to himself, his heart falling once more. It was a matter of time until you found out, he thinks. It wasn’t something he wanted to happen for you - you were someone he loved, even if he wasn’t from this world. He wanted you to be happy and live an amazing life, even if it wasn’t with him but with the version of him that didn’t deserve you.

Jungkook watches you push him away with a huff when he tries to bring you closer to him.

“Fine.” Jungkook then shrugs with a scoff. “I’m leaving. If you want to pack everything and leave then you can. But I’m not forcing you to go.”

You snicker with a shake of your head at the audacity of Jungkook.

“You’re going to throw everything away because of one mistake?”

“Was it only once?” you ask him with folded arms. You’re waiting for him to respond to the question you know the answer to already. “Your silence tells me everything I need to know.”

You feel Jungkook’s eyes watch you storm away. He bites back a remark and instead decides to let you cool off. You weren’t going to leave him - where would you even go? You didn’t have anyone but him.

Jungkook watches himself leave out the front door, slamming it behind him as you’re making your way towards the bedroom. Jungkook saunters back inside the bedroom and hides inside the closet, a sense of deja vu coming through him.

You slam through the door and fall onto the large bed. You’re crying again and the sound makes Jungkook want to hurt this world's version of him.

An affair wasn’t allowed in his world and it’s a punishable offense. Of course, very few men loved their wives that they’re set upon and vice versa. Only few come to love one another - but it’s rare. He had to look at his own parents as evidence of this. As he and you would walk the busy streets the past weeks, he noticed people of all ages and genders together - two older couples sitting side by side enjoying one another's company. Two men holding one another while taking pictures - it’s nice to see and experience.

This version of Jungkook didn’t deserve you or this world, he thinks - he took it for granted.

“Y/N.”

You flinch at the sound of Jungkook’s voice. Your eyes widen at him, not hearing him come in. “W-Why are you in the closet?”

Jungkook swallows.

“And when did you change…?” your words trail off, hands wiping your tears.

“I’m sorry that he hurt you.” Jungkook murmurs, his tone lowering. His eyes are sad, you note, sad for you. He comes closer, his demeanor soft unlike the cocky and narcissistic one of that prior.

You stand to your feet and tilt your head, your eyes focusing on his face. “You just got a piercing earlier.” you murmur, more to yourself than to Jungkook. “Where did it go?”

Jungkook stiffens when he feels your fingers on his lips. His hand reaches up to touch yours on his face and he sighs. “I hate the way he treats you, Y/N. He doesn’t deserve you.”

Your head is spinning at Jungkook’s choice of words. You’re confused at how he’s wording everything - as if he’s a third person in this situation.

“Kookie…?”

Jungkook kisses your fingers then your hand. “I wish I could stay here with you. Forever.”

You aren’t sure how to feel, your emotions are spiraling. Jungkook speaks as if everything that went down between the two of you hasn’t happened - and your mind is beginning to fog; contemplating if it did or not.

“I’m not from here, Y/N.” Jungkook speaks once more, lowering your hand to your side and entangling his fingers with yours. “I wish I was so I could treat you better than him. I wouldn’t take you or this world for granted.”

You don’t speak, unable on what to say in response. You aren’t crying anymore, your cheeks stained with tears and puffy.

Jungkook tugs you deeper into the room and towards the mirror by the closet. You’re unsure what’s going on and where he’s getting at.

Jungkook’s sure he might regret this - that you would be freaked out to the point that you wouldn’t want to talk with him anymore, but he had to show you.

Jungkook stops in front of the mirror and turns towards you. He lifts your hand that’s holding his and slowly, brings it towards the mirror.

Your eyes widen in shock when your hand sinks into the mirror, a cold, windy feeling causing your hand to tremble.

“J-Jungkook-”

“I’m from a different world. I was just as scared as you are right now.” Jungkook says, bringing your hand out of the mirror and letting it go. His hands grasp your face. “I came here and everything's so…euphoric. It’s nice that everyone is accepting. There’s no strict rules enforced by the government to control you all.”

Jungkook’s thumb rubs along your lips.

“You…in my world you and I can never be together. Not unless the Government allowed it and I’m positive they aren’t. You are free to be in love with whoever you want here, Y/N. And I’m sorry this version of me is taking you for granted.”

Your heart is beating at an alarming rate. Your eyes are wide with shock at his words.

This Jungkook was not your Jungkook - not the man who cheated on you and left without as much as acknowledging your feelings. This Jungkook came from a different world - and as unbelievable as it sounded, it was true.

“Why can’t we be together?” you murmur, still unsure if this was reality or a dream - everything felt real at this point.

“The Government chooses who we marry based on ranking and status.” Jungkook explains. “You’re a woman who can bear children, so you’ll be married to someone of their choosing.”

Your eyebrows knit. “Why does it matter if I can bear children or not?”

Jungkook smiles sadly at you. “Barren women cannot be married.” He recalls wishing that you and he were both barren, then maybe the Government would see the two of you as useless and allow him to marry you - but life wasn’t that cruel to either of you.

“It must be a cruel world.” you murmur, and Jungkook agrees. “How long have you…”

Jungkook knows what you’re speaking of. “Close to two weeks. I’ve been coming to you every night.”

Your eyes widened and now, everything made sense. How Jungkook - well, not the one before you, but the other one - would be confused about the night prior, but you’d just thought he was either faking or too tired to. But no, you and this Jungkook from a different world were the one spending it together.

This is why the connection between the two of you suddenly has changed. It became bearable to be around Jungkook. He smiled and laughed more. He was willing to hold your hand wherever the two of you went and would sneak kisses at random times. He took more pictures with you and appeared overall happier than before.

But it wasn’t the Jungkook you know - it was a different version of him.

You snicker, your eyes swelling with tears.

Jungkook shakes his head. “I-I’m sorry for taking advantage of you, Y/N. Please don’t cry-”

You hand your head. “I’m not upset with you, Jungkook.” you say, blinking away the tears that are forming. “I’m upset that you and I can never be together because you aren’t from this world.”

Jungkook’s chest tightens at your words.

“And I…I can’t go to your world, either.” You didn’t want to, Jungkook thinks. He doesn’t want to see your demeanor and personality change if you went to a world so different from this one.

“I’m sorry-”

Jungkook is interrupted suddenly by your lips on his. He’s taken aback by your sudden actions, but he doesn’t push you awake.

“If there’s a world,” you remove your lips from his for a moment. “that is an alternate realm where you and I are in, that means…he can’t die.”

Jungkook isn’t sure where you’re getting at.

“Jungkook can’t die because then you’ll die.” you say, your hand caressing Jungkook’s cheek. “I-I don’t think you and he can be in the same world, either. It would probably cause some type of unbalance.”

Jungkook nods. “The in between opens at 12. I make sure I’m back before 6.”

You nod slowly.

“I want you to stay with me, Jungkook.” you murmur to him, as if it was a secret that only he can hear. “Wouldn’t you like that?”

Jungkook nods his head, doe-like eyes widening. “I do,” he admits. “but I don’t think-”

“SShh,” you peck him on his lips once more and Jungkook melts into the kiss. “we have a few hours before we can figure out what to do. I just want you to stay with me.”

Jungkook nods.

Kissing you had to be his favorite thing to do. And touching you, feeling your smooth skin against his palm.

Your back hits against the bed, legs wrapping around his waist to pull him closer. This Jungkook was different from the one you’ve known. He was gentle and kind. He cared for your feelings and truly wanted what was best for you.

“I don’t want to take advantage of you.” Jungkook manages to push himself away from you just as your hand dips underneath his pants. “You’re already hurting from what he’s done to you.”

“You aren’t like him.” It’s weird to speak of a different version of himself as if it was a whole different person with a different face. “I want to be with you.”

Your hands do make their way into his pants and you proceed to grasp his hardened length. Jungkook hisses. “O-Okay.” he nods hastily with no other argument. He caves far too easily - but he’s wanted you for so long. The virtual reality he had was an embarrassing moment he wanted to forget - but now he was going to have the real thing. The real you.

“I-I want to pleasure you.” Jungkook’s cheeks are tinted as he speaks, but it’s like a dream of his. Coming from a world where pleasuring a woman (before marriage) isn’t a priority, he wants to do this - especially with you.

Jungkook kisses your neck, inhaling your sweet scent that starts to drive him wild. His hands roam your body, grasping the hem of your shirt and lifting it over your head.

“You’re so beautiful, Y/N.” Jungkook murmurs, his lips kissing down your collarbone to between your breasts.”So beautiful and all mine.”

Jungkook doesn’t want this moment to end - he wants to savor every bit of it. He wants to sit and stare at the beauty that’s your body for hours if the universe would let him.

You feel Jungkook's hand dip behind your back to unclasp your bra. It’s left discarded, his hands roaming your back entirely. He shudders.

“You look scared.” you teased with a hushed tone. “As if you have never done this before.”

“I’m not married, so no, I have not.” Jungkook speaks. “Every man goes to the brothel but that isn’t pleasurable for the woman. I don’t even see their faces.”

You swallow, your eyes widening slightly.

“My friends often come here, too…” Jungkook begins, his hands slowly gripping your breast in the palm of his hands. “...and they told me how free it was here. What they’d do when they were pleasuring women here.”

Jungkook’s friends - you ponder if it’s the same friends in his world that Jungkook has in this one.

“And I want to try it.”

You yelp when you feel Jungkook’s mouth wrap a nipple into his mouth entirely, suckling as if his life depended on it. You weren’t complaining, enjoying just how needy Jungkook appeared. Jungkook groans in your breast, his free hand gripping your breast entirely while he sucks on the other. He’s unsure why he appears so stuck on your breast - or why he enjoys doing so. They didn’t have a particular taste to them - it only tasted like skin.

Jungkook’s positive that it’s your reaction to him doing so. Your moans - so sweet and velvety. The way your legs wrap around his waist a little tighter and your hand rests on the back of his head.

There’s a string of saliva connecting your nipple to his lips when Jungkook finally comes up from them. He licks his lips, eyes dark and full of lust.

You eye Jungkook has his lips place warm kisses upon your skin, dipping down to your stomach. His hands reach your shorts, tugging them down just as he gets lower and lower.

“Y-You don’t have to do that.” you say, embarrassed when Jungkook pulls down your shorts entirely.

Jungkook looks up at you for a moment before down at your exposed underwear - purple and cotton. They were cute, he thinks, especially as he witnesses the slight wet spot directly in the middle of them.

“Why not?” Jungkook places his fingers on your clothed clit, rubbing gently.

You swallow back a moan, thighs twitching. “Y-You never have…not you but. The other Jungkook.”

Jungkook wants to shake his head. The audacity of this other version of him - if he had the chance to ravish you at every given moment, he would. He didn’t understand why this world took everything for granted - being allowed to roam the streets after 9 Pm was a luxury alone that this world provided.

“But I want to.” Jungkook hooks his fingers between your panties and pushes it aside. He licks his lips at your wet clit and he hums. “So beautiful.” he murmurs.

Jungkook lowers himself to your heat and your eyes widen - he was really going to do this. You don’t have time to react, either. His tongue pokes out of his mouth and it’s already swiping along your clit.

“S-Stop…!” you yelp, jerking at the unfamiliar feeling.

Jungkook catches your legs just as they were about to crush him. “Relax, Y/N.” he laughs gleefully. “Just let me take care of you, okay?”

You bite your lip but nod. Your legs are trembling with nerves and slight embarrassment at how close Jungkook was to your sex - vaginas couldn’t look that appealing for him to appear ready to risk it all at just a taste of it.

But to Jungkook, it was. His nails dig into the skin of your thighs as he holds you into place, his tongue flat and his head shifting from side to side.

Your stomach bubbles with tension and pleasure. You aren’t aware that something like this could feel good for you - you imagined it whenever you went down on Jungkook, but there was a difference between the two genitalia.

Now, it was like Jungkook was getting rid of an itch you never knew was there. You couldn’t contain your moans any longer, nor did he want you to. There was no pleasuring any women from the brothel and in the end, even after he came, he could never feel truly satisfied with himself.

Now, it’s different. It’s more intimate - pleasuring you the way he wants to. His demeanor changes entirely from that of the soft man she’s come to love to be around - to a man hungry for what's between her legs.

“K-Kookie!” you yelp once more at feeling fingers pierce through your entrance. Even then, he doesnt stop sucking your clit.

Jungkook hums, the vibration felt throughout your lower region. His eyes dart up at you and it causes him to groan. So beautiful, he thinks. The look of pure bliss on your face, eyes fluttering closed as pleasure shoots through you.

Jungkook leans back to watch intently at the way your pussy tightens around his fingers. He pumps in and out, your juices coating not only his fingers, but down his palm and to his wrists.

“I wish I can stay here with you forever.” Jungkook says, adding another finger to fill you even more. “I would treat you better. I would never make you cry.”

Jungkook is such a smooth talker, you think . But even so, you believed him. His eyes are much softer and even now as he’s fucking his fingers inside of you, he’s still so loving.

“Kook - shit!” Jungkook connects his lips back onto your already swollen clit and is determined to make you cum.

Your hands grip along the bedsheets, your thighs trembling. It was all too much to handle right now. Each time your hips would buck, Jungkook would just push you back down onto the mattress and plunge his fingers even deeper.

“I know you’re about to cum.” Jungkook purrs, then goes back to lapping your clit, his eyes watching your every emotion. His fingers are hitting your spot so sweetly that you can’t hold it back anymore, releasing the tension from deep inside of you with a shriek.

Jungkook’s chest is soaked entirely, but he couldn’t care any less. Instead, he removes his fingers from inside of you and licks them clean.

Your thighs are trembling even more now, your eyes closing and your chest heaving in an attempt to catch your breath.

There was no way Jungkook never done this before. Even from a different world, Jungkook had to have some similar characteristics of the other Jungkook - determined to make you cum regardless if it was never his mouth or tongue, not stopping until he had.

“Are you okay?” Jungkook asks you, kissing your lips gently. You tasted yourself on him.

You hum a lazy response.

“So cute.” Jungkook smiles. “Are you tired? Hungry? “ he tilts his head for a response. “I can go get those sugar things you like with the chocolate filling-“

“I want you to fuck me before we think about eating.” you sigh, tone serious. Your eyes flutter open until they’re no longer blurry.

Jungkook’s cheek flush at your words. “You don’t even look like you’re capable of-“

Jungkook’s left stunned when you manage to flip him on his back, hovering right above him. “Just needed a few seconds is all.” you say to him. “I really want to taste you, too but…I’m really impatient.”

Jungkook nods hastily as you go to remove his pants.

“I will next time. Promise.”

Jungkook isn’t upset about you not returning the favor - he didn’t expect you to. Having the opportunity to do anything with you was what he truly desired.

“Don’t we need some form of protection?” Jungkook asks when you’re hovering above him, ready to bring him into you entirely.

“I’m on birth control.” You shake your head with a giggle and Jungkook only appears more confused.

“What’s that?”

You tilt your head. “There’s no birth control in your world?”

Jungkook shakes his head slowly, trying to ponder how anyone can control something like-

Jungkook gasps, feeling you entirely. You’re so warm and wet and his mind is going crazy at feeling you entirely raw.

“The chances of getting pregnant are low when on birth control.” you explain, placing both of your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself. “So it should be okay.”

Jungkook was going to take your word for it. His hands find your waist and it holds on it for support.

Your hips begin to rise and fall at a rhythmic pace, wet skin slapping against his own. Soon moans filled the room, both yours and his - and Jungkook wasn’t going to hide how good you were making him feel.

“Feel…so…good…” Jungkook huffs with each bounce on his cock. His eyes fight to focus on something for longer than a few seconds, but he can’t. Your breast bounces in his face and he tries to catch a nipple but fails a few times. Your face is so beautiful, contorted with pleasure as you take him.

“Does it?”

You lean back, your palms on his thighs. Your feet are pressed firmly onto the mattress and you continue your bouncing.

Jungkook hisses, the next position allowing him to go a bit deeper in you. You knew what you were doing, knowing exactly how to pleasure him just right. Jungkook wants to harm the other version of him - how could you go elsewhere when everything he needed was right here?

Jungkook opens his eyes to look at you and he grunts all over again. Your pussy is dripping all over him, creaming his cock so lovingly. There’s a white ring around his cock, evident of how much you were loving this.

“You’re so-“

“Beautiful?” you finished the sentence for Jungkook, giggling. You clench around him and Jungkook hisses.

“It’s true. You are.”

Your heart swells at his words - they aren’t just sex words. Often he would tell you how beautiful he thought you were and of course you were smitten. You thought it was your Jungkook, not this new Jungkook from a different world.

Jungkook allows his hands to roam your naked skin, goosebumps running along his arms. He hisses with a slight shake of his head. “You’re too g-good at this.”

“So were you.” you giggle, grinding against him. “Surprised you never pleasured a girl before.”

“I learn fast.” Jungkook licks his lips, pressing a thumb against your swollen clit, satisfied when you flinch.

While Jungkook's right hand plays with your clit, his left places itself on your ass and squeezes.

Jungkook flickers his eyes up st your face to find that you’re already looking at him. He gives a slight grin - the thrust upwards.

“Fuck, s-stop!” your body flushes with heat. “I was supposed to make you cum this time!”

“You are.” Jungkook hooks both of his arms beneath your thighs and then on your hips to keep you steady. “This birth control means I can cum in you?”

You bite your lip and nod and that's all the confirmation Jungkook needs.

Jungkook begins to pound into you, his pace entirely alarming and there's no build up to it. All he knows is that he’s wanted you for as long as he could remember and in this world he had you - you and whatever birth control was.

Soon the room is filled with wet squelching of your pussy being stuffed so full mixed with Jungkook’s grunts and your whimpers. Your arms wrap around Jungkook’s neck for support and this has Jungkook peppering your skin with kisses.

Jungkook doesn’t stop his pounding, not even when you're trembling and scratching along his back. He only snickers at your actions, far too enthralled in this moment that he doesn’t care what pain you might cause him.

“I-I don’t think-“

“Sshhh,” Jungkook presses his lips on yours to silence your whining. His teeth clap on your bottom lip, tugging slightly. “I know you can take it, baby.”

You came - an embarrassing moment for you. You didn’t hold in the shriek as you do so and it was entirely Jungkook’s fault - his insane stamina, his soft kisses on your skin and the dark whisper of a pet name.

Jungkook groans, your cum dripping out of you and onto him entirely. He could never get enough of you and each thrust has him hating the version of him that left you here crying.

“Gonna cum,” Jungkook huffs, kissing your face entirely. Your eyes are closed tightly and a few whimpers are releasing from your lips due to the overstimulation.

You clench around him as tight as you could to get Jungkook to cum and it works. A few sloppy thrusts and a deep moan later, Jungkook’s cumming deep inside of you - a wave of emotion shudders through his body.

You fall limp against Jungkook while your eyes flutter close. “So tired.” you murmur.

Jungkook places a kiss upon your forehead. “You don’t want those sugar things with the filling?”

You grumble, “It sounds like you want them.”

Jungkook does.

“I’ll put an order for them to be delivered.” you lift yourself and sigh. “How about you just take my phone and go get it? You remember the way?”

Jungkook nods his head and soon, you’re sleeping soundly on the bed.

Jungkook licks his lips as he gets dressed. Currency was different in your world. Though he worked, there was only a certain amount he could ever earn from his job, the rest went towards whatever the Government saw fit - funding the brothel and new technology to advance the world. Even being able to go somewhere and eat was a luxury - it was something the Government also controlled; when and how they got their food.

Jungkook opens the door to the room and stops dead in his tracks.

Jungkook blinks at the familiar face of himself. There’s a piercing on his eyebrow and lip and it causes Jungkook to tilt his head at it.

“What the fuck-“

Jungkook reacts entirely too fast, even before his mind can think of what to do. He watches as the version of himself falls back and holds his nose, blood pooling from his hand.

“You don’t belong here.” Jungkook murmurs , his voice dangerously low. “You don’t deserve her.”

Jungkook is surprised that you don’t awake - maybe you were that exhausted. He doesn’t stop punching until the version of him is unconscious and he’s covered in an alarming amount of blood.

Jungkook huffs. He grabs the versions of him arms and begins to drag him inside the room. He glances at your sleeping figure and feels an emotion go through him. He wants to love you the way you deserve - to care for you like he should be able to.

And with this Jungkook here, he never could.

Jungkook pushes towards the mirror, the ripple effect telling him that there was still time.

There’s a moan - he was waking up. Jungkook curses mentally to himself and pushes as hard as he could to this world’s Jungkook until he’s fully through the mirror.

Now, all he had to do was wait until it was time for the portal to be closed.

Jungkook’s eyes open, shooting straight up. His eyes look around his surroundings - where the fuck was he?

This wasn’t his room - no, it couldn’t be. It was so dull, dark. Plain - where were the lights he had on his bed? Where were the mirrors he placed up?

Jungkook’s eyes the large window outside, noticing that lights were peaking through. There was a digital clock flashing red numbers. He shakes his head. “What the hell…?”

Jungkook turns towards the mirror in front of him, eyes wide as it begins to crack. He shields himself with his hands as mirror pieces begin to fly on him suddenly, the mirror breaking out of thin air.

Jungkook releases a deep breath, hammer in hand. His chest heaves, the mirror shards surrounding him entirely.

“Kookie?!”

You run inside the room, head flailing around to see what the commotion was. “How did the mirror…” your eyes glance down to the hammer in Jungkook’s hands.

It was now 6 A.M, Jungkook notes, and it was time for his world to wake and go on with their lives - without him.

“I thought you said you were gonna go shower?” Jungkook drops the hammer and turns towards you. “Sorry if I disturbed you.”

You sigh, shoulders relaxing. “It’s okay.” you say. “Is…is the portal gone?”

Jungkook nods his head, for now at least. He’s positive there was a way for him to return through a different mirror - but he had no intentions to. As long as the Utopian world Jungkook didn’t know how to return, he was satisfied.

“Good.” you smile at Jungkook, a genuine smile that warms his heart.

Good - it was good. Now Jungkook could have you like he always has - no strict rules, no Government forcing him to marry a woman he didn’t want.

Just you and him - you & this Jungkook - forever.

@seokjinkismet @bloodline1632 @babycandy111

[yan-lorkai]

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Warnings: platonic yandere content, implied child neglect, reader's parents are bad

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Day twenty eight: Running away from home

"Hi, little one!" You say to the tiny fairy. The sound of bells left her mouth and as usual you don't understand what she say, as humans can't really speak fairy language but you are used to it and smile at her anyway.

"Lilia said that if I ever needed, I could ask you to take me to him. So, can you show me the way, please?"

She made a face, pretending to think, while your heart was beating loudly as the seconds go by. She made another sound and then held your pinky with her whole tiny hand, making you walk quickly to follow her lead, as her little wings worked harder and faster.

Around you, the forest stretched out before you like a green and mysterious blanket, birds flying and chirping around you, along with squirrels who sometimes crossed your path to offer you some fruits and nuts.

Other people could only dream of getting to know the forest like you did, of discovering its most curious secrets and the best corners for picnics and playing hide and seek.

The winds welcomed you, gently caressing your face with its invisible fingers as you ran along a muddy path, your yellow galoshes stained brown. You had explored that forest since you were pretty younger, you had cried and laughed with your fae friends - especially Lilia. The older fae pretty much raised you when your parents were too busy fighting each other.

The almost setting sunlight hit the leaves, casting dancing shadows on the ground. Your fae friends, magical creatures you had known since you were a child, seemed to be hiding much deeper into the forest today.

This forest was like your second house and you were happy to be back each and every time. And this time, you would not go back. Things got too bad to bear. You couldn't handle it anymore.

You couldn't handle the screaming and crying, and the fights. You couldn't handle being ignored.

And sometimes, they hid themselves to tire you out and convince you to stay the night. They would never have to do this again, for you didn't plan to ever return "home" now.

Sometimes, they used to do that just to play games or take a nap without being disturbed by human presence - lazy faes, you used to thought, they could just cast some spell or something but they almost never did it. They liked teasing and scaring humans too much.

You stopped running when the little fairy did. She waved you goodbye as she flew away, the sound of bells echoing in the silent forest, a thin bead of sweat running down your forehead as you took a deep breath.

And Lilia really liked to spoil you to the point of being suffocating. You suppose it was because you were a human, a mortal and ephemeral being in his eyes.

And yet, a member of his little family.

Sometimes you would hear playful laughter or the sound of branches breaking, but when you turned around there was no one there. Lilia was definitely in the mood to tease you today and it didn't seem like Silver or Malleus were around to stop him from continuing. A soft smile appeared on your lips. For someone so old and wise as he claimed to be, Lilia could be so silly.

They looked like they hadn't aged a single day in the past five years. And you remembered the time when you were a young child lost in those forests, confused and afraid, and crying inconsolably about how no one would find you. You remembered Lilia's gentle touch on your head and his gentle smile as he wiped your tears with his fingers or the way he held your hand as he led you out of the forest.

In the distance, a soft glow caught your attention. Running in that direction, you emerged into a dark clearing. The sun had set very quickly or perhaps it was Malleus's powers acting to conceal their presence, the forest you were in, despite being beautiful, had a reputation for being haunted by dangerous and treacherous fae.

The same fae in front of you.

The same fae who taught you how to dance, how to escape making a deal with a fae. Who treated you so gently, like you were made of glass.

The next day you returned. After telling the story to your parents, they didn't believe it and said you were dreaming. But you knew it wasn't. You walked purposefully through the forest, trying your best to retrace your steps as you also forced yourself to remember the way back home.

That day, you met Malleus, tall and stern, and dressed in black and green, and you asked if you could touch his horns. He laughed so hard he cried. But in the end, he let you touch his horns while he listened to you chatter about his father, making a comment or two sometimes.

Somehow, you felt like he looked more fae than human, sometimes the necklace he wore around his neck glowed and he had such a gentle, comfortable aura. Instead of sharing the sweets with Lilia, Malleus and Silver, you ended up falling asleep with the platinum boy under a willow tree. When you woke up that day, you were at the entrance to the forest, covered with palm leaves serving as a blanket.

In the days that followed, you brought them sweets. Your mother had told you that if you made a friend, you should share food with them so you wanted to do so, you brought so many sweets that they kept falling out of your pockets and you had to bend down to pick them up. This time, the one who came to your aid was Silver, he was also a human, but he told you that his biological parents had abandoned him in that forest and then a fae decided to take care of him.

Humans can be worse than fae, he told you. And his tone was full of pain as if he was older than he actually looked like.

Sebek, you met after running away from home for the first time. Your parents were fighting for some stupid reason again and it made you so stressed. You kicked every stone you found on the way and grimaced every time the sun touched your face with its rays. Everything in the world seemed boring and cruel that day. You, however, took your mind off it as you were captured in a trap, steel wires binding your legs together and pulling you up until you were suspended in the air.

But the sweets were gone. That night, you dreamed of big red eyes watching you sleep in the dark, but they were gentle and protective eyes, as if they wanted to guard your sleep.

To thank you for the sweets, for making friends with Silver and Malleus.

To this day you don't remember what Sebek was hunting or trying to do, but the story still made you laugh, especially because he was more panicked than you, screaming and shaking. And when Lilia came to his aid, he was also laughing at the situation.

Five years later and it still feels like nothing has changed. Silver had in his hands an ancient and delicate lyre, his fingers plucking his strings in a peaceful rhythm as if inviting his listener to relax and let go of their worries. He once tried to teach you how to play, but you didn't have much talent for it, preferring to listen rather than play.

And it was always a beautiful sight to watch him play, he was ethereal in those moments, as if he was playing a secret song that the world has forgotten, a song that made your heart inside your chest spin.

That called you. That made you feel welcome.

Malleus and Sebek, however, had no such concern and danced arm in arm and spinning in circles. It was a silly and fun dance, and at that moment, you wished you had your cell phone with you so you could register it forever, but you had quickly left the house and forgotten it.

The music was addictive, your body almost moving to the beat. But you stopped yourself in time, knowing that Lilia would offer you to dance with him, he always did because he knew you couldn't accept it. Dancing with a fae is like a drug, one that you don't have a medicine for and that once you try it nothing else in the world makes sense.

And whenever you would agree to dance with him, he'd go on and on without ever stopping.

Well, you'd have to commit this entire precious moment to your memory then, you suppose.

They noticed his presence almost immediately and Silver nodded his head in greeting as he played the last notes of his song.

After finishing their dance, Malleus came to you and, as he always did, wrapped you in a warm hug that instantly makes you melt. Your face sinking into his chest as he stole any and all worries you might have been harboring within yourself to him. A long sigh left your lips and you looked at him fondly.

"Any news to tell us, Yuu?" He asked.

So many things. More things than you could think of at that moment. School, new friends, new changes, everything was new and completely terrifying, and you were abandoning everything. Because it wasn't worth it.

There in that hug that ended very quickly, with those beings that everyone had an irrational fear against, you were at home. You were free to be who you were without any fear of possible rejection from them.

"Too much to say, not enough time for everything." You replied, a little laugh present in your voice. You held onto his shirt, silently asking for another hug and giving him your best puppy eyes, and Malleus, laughing, enveloped you into another of his warm hugs.

"But... I ran from home, this time for good." Your voice was muffled against Malleus shirt.

Sebek was beside you in a moment, and your ears hurt from anticipation. "What do you mean by that, little human?"

You winced, your lips wobbling as you tried not to cry. You failed in getting your voice steadier. "Mom and dad were fighting again... They were screaming, and there was crying, and at some point, they were breaking stuff. And they blamed me for everything, even if i didn't have any fault at all."

Malleus’s eyes widened, and his hands tightened over your shoulders, not out of anger, but out of a fierce, protective desperation. His sharp eyes softened as he saw the tears brimming in yours, the way you were trying so hard to hold them back, to not show any sign of weakness.

You fell into silence, too afraid to cry to continue speaking. When you cried while your parents were fighting, they used to belittle and mock you.

Your mom used to say that her life would be better without you in it.

But to him, there was nothing weak about your tears. It made his chest ache to see you so small and fragile, curling into yourself like you wanted to disappear. He tightened his hug over your figure.

“They blamed you?” Sebek repeated, his voice low and dangerous, as if he could scarcely believe it. “How dare they? Those insolent—” He stopped himself, his fangs bared for a moment before he managed to calm down. He could feel his rage bubbling, but he knew that anger would not help you right now.

“You are not at fault, little human. You never were.” He said softly, through gritting teeth.

You glanced up at him, trying to find comfort in his words, but the hurt you ignored for so long ran too deep. “But they said—”

“They were wrong!” Sebek’s voice boomed, making you flinch, but he immediately softened, realizing he was scaring you. He lowered his voice, though it still held a fierce intensity. “You should never have to bear such cruelty. Your worth does not depend on their words, and I won’t let you believe it does.”

“You don’t have to go back to them,” Sebek said, and there was a finality in his tone, a vow that left no room for argument. “You can stay here, on the woods, where no one can hurt you.”

The forest was quiet, save for the sound of your shaky breathing, and you felt the weight of their gaze on you, unwavering and heavy with emotion. Sebek didn’t always understand humans, but he understood enough to know that you needed protection, and he would do anything to provide it, as would Melleus and Simver.

Anything to make you feel safe, even if it meant guarding you from the very people who were supposed to love you.

You blinked at him, surprised by how quickly he made the decision for you, but a part of you felt relieved, a part of you were afraid they would send you away. “But… I won't be a burden?”

From behind Sebek, you saw a shadowy figure approaching fast, and in the blink of the eye, you realized who it was. Lilia was walking faster, his presence filling the space, his eyes glowing softly in the dim light. He had heard everything, and there was a sadness there, but also a determination that made your heart skip a beat.

Silver's eyes flashed with something unreadable, almost offended by the mere suggestion. “A burden?!” he exclaimed, his voice rising again before he caught himself, this time gentler but no less insistent.

“You could never be a burden. We—” he paused, his words catching in his throat before he continued, “we care for you. Do you not see that? If you are in pain, we will be there to carry it for you. If you are in need, we will help you. You belong with us.”

“What Sebek and Silver says is true,” He spoke, his voice was commanding, as if every word was a decree. “You are no longer alone, darling. The forest now welcomes you as your home now, as I welcome you into my family and we will not let you face any more of that suffering.”

You instantly melt; the tension leaving your shoulders. Part of you wanted to tell them that you didn’t want to impose, that you didn’t want to drag them into your problems, but another part — a much smaller, quieter part — felt relieved, like you could finally breathe. Like you didn’t have to keep fighting alone.

Lilia appeared beside Malleus, a soft, knowing smile on his lips. “You poor thing,” he said, his voice as light as a lullaby, yet with a hint of sadness. “You’ve been carrying so much weight by yourself, haven’t you? It must have been exhausting. But you don’t have to anymore. We’re here for you.”

Silver's usually sleepy eyes were now wide open and he was fully awake. “If your family can’t see how precious you are, then they don’t deserve you. We’ll take care of you, and you won’t have to worry about going back.”

You felt the weight of their words, the way they seemed so sure, so unyielding in their determination to keep you safe. It was overwhelming, and for a moment, you couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. They spilled down your cheeks, hot and unbidden, and before you could even try to wipe them away, Sebek took you from Malleus’s arms and into his.

His arms were firm and steady around you. “There, there, little human,” he murmured, his voice gentler than you’d ever heard it. “Cry if you must, but know this: you are not alone anymore. Not now, not ever.”

Malleus stepped closer, placing a hand on your head, his cool fingers brushing against your hair. “We will keep you safe,” he said softly, his tone carrying a promise that echoed through the room. “And if anyone dares to hurt you again, they will face our wrath. As the fae king, I promise you this.”

It was a strange feeling... To be surrounded by so much protectiveness. They were intense, determined. And you had been aching for something like this for so long ��� to be wanted, to not be a burden.

You leaned into Sebek’s embrace, your sobs slowly subsiding as the warmth of their presence surrounded you. Maybe it was wrong to feel comforted by this, but right now, you didn’t care. All you wanted was to believe that, for once, you could let go and be cared for, without fear or hesitation.

“Thank you,” you whispered, your voice barely audible, but they heard it. And in that moment, you felt the unspoken promise between you and them solidify, a bond that was as fierce as it was unbreakable.

For better or worse, you were theirs now, and nothing in this world — or any other — would change that.

[ssavaart]

Sometimes You Have to Make 100 BAD Drawings To Get 1 GOOD One

(Earlier this year, a publisher asked me if I'd be interested in writing a book on art. As we discussed it... they asked me to "give it a try" and this is one of two tests I did. I don't consider myself a writer, really, so this is just "in my own voice". I wound up turning down the offer... but would love to know your thoughts on this. Thanks)

Drawing something good. Something you like. It’s… elusive. Especially when you’re just starting out.

But, here’s the thing. You have good art in you. I promise. You just have to get to it and it’s stuck under a bunch of bad art. Really bad art.

When I was younger, I would draw every day. Filling up sketchbooks with doodles and sketches and I hated ALL of them.

Page 01: Crap

Page 02: Crap

Page 03: Crap

Page 04: Worse than Crap

Page 05: What even is that?

Page 06: Ugh

And it was just downhill from there…

But… somewhere around like page 100… I made something that… “wasn’t crap”. I actually didn’t hate it.

And that gave me courage to keep going. That one drawing made it all worth it. I was cured. I was now an expert. All of my art would be great from now on.

Oh… if only.

The next drawing was worse than any other drawing before it.

How??? I just made ART! like 5 minutes before that. I got all the bad drawings out! How did my art just go from Van Gogh to Van NO???

Honestly? I… got lucky. That one good drawing? Total fluke. Dumb luck. Sheer Happenstance.

Doing 100 drawings didn’t suddenly make me an expert. It couldn’t.

Have you ever heard of the saying “If a million monkeys type on a million typewriters for a million years, they’ll eventually write Shakespeare”?

I was those monkeys and that drawing was my Shakespeare.

I just pooped out enough bad art that eventually sheer luck was going to mean I may make something really good.

And I’m TOTALLY okay with that. I was 11. I’m not a prodigy. I don’t have any special gifts. But what I did have was… a taste for how making good art felt.

Seeing that one good drawing made me want more. Like my first time tasting chocolate ice cream. I was hooked.

So, I made 100 more bad drawings. Maybe more. And, guess what? ANOTHER great drawing emerged!

Another Shakespeare from this 11 year old monkey!!!! Huzzah!

From then on… I knew that all I had to do was keep banging away at that typewriter (I’m still on the million monkey thing… bear with me) and I would get rewarded with another masterpiece.

Week after week. Month after month. I would fill up my sketchbooks with the most horrific, amateurish, incomprehensible art… and, sure enough, 1 of every 100 drawings would not suck.

I would show it to my mom and she would say “Oh! That’s wonderful!” and when she tried to turn the pages to see more, I would quickly SNATCH it out of her hands and run back into the shadows like Gollum hiding his “Precious” from prying eyes.

I dare not let her see the monstrosities that came before the work of genius.

And… this went on. For years. Predictably. Rhythmically.

Until, one day… my 75th drawing was really good.

How? It was 25 drawings early! That’s not how it was supposed to work. That wasn’t the plan.

But there it was. A really amazing drawing of a spaceship I came up with out of my head. It had lasers and a cockpit and wings and…It was glorious. And it was totally unexpected.

Maybe NOW I was an expert and I no longer needed to make bad art? Would today be the day I would only make masterpieces?

I quickly turned the page and began to draw what would soon be my second greatest work of art and… NOPE.

Still crap.

Hm. But… something was different. It was still crap. But… it wasn’t as “crappy” as the other crap.

I grabbed my previous sketchbooks and looked at the bad drawings from previous years and… guess what? My older bad drawings were WORSE than my newer bad drawings!

Apparently, the more I drew… the better my BAD drawings got too.   

Okay. So. I drew 75 more “not as crappy” bad drawings and… predictably… I made another great drawing!

I was… IMPROVING.

This went on for years. I went to high school. Then art school. I hated MOST of my art… but as I practiced… the number of BAD art I had to make to get to the GOOD art got lower and lower. Soon it was 50 bad pieces for 1 good one. Then 25. Then 10.

It took decades when I noticed… I liked my art more often than not.

It was a complete surprise. I was in my 40’s when this happened. I was SO conditioned to just accept I was going to hate my art that I hadn’t noticed that I had made 5 paintings that didn’t suck. IN A ROW!!!

Unheard of!

But, there it was. 5 good paintings. One right after the other.

The 6th one was complete trash. Tossed it in the garbage.

But, the 7th one? I liked. And the 8th. And the 9th.

I’m now 54 and I know I still have SO much bad art in me. I can feel it. Always ready to pop up and ruin my day.

But, I “pooped out” so much bad art over the years that I’m not really worried about those pop up bad art surprises. I know it’s just temporary.

I like my art now. And that’s because I got MOST of the bad art out of me and into those old sketchbooks.

I know it may seem daunting doing 100 bad drawings just to get to 1 good one. But… if you love that feeling of making that one GOOD piece of art… you need to be patient and get the bad ones out. They’re blocking the good ones. Keeping them deep inside you.

So, crack open that sketchbook. Poop out those bad pieces of art and never look back.

You’ll thank me in like 40 years or so. I promise.

(Oh. And sorry for all the poop references. I’m still that 11 year old when it comes to humor)

Poop.

[literallypyro]

Mercs with an s/o whos love language is biting 👀 ik its gonna take a while, ill wait. ❤️‍🔥

I like this one! I also want to bite any partners I get, but I never do cuz anxiety 😔💔

Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

Chew toy

Scout:

-He was a bit startled at first. It took him a little while to get used to it, but he eventually just accepted you like to show affection that way

-He might bite you back in scenarios where your arm is near his face (i.e. cuddling, hugging, etc.)

-He finds it a little funny, and he doesn't really know why. I guess he just likes how out of the ordinary it is

-Just don't bite his neck

Soldier:

-Wasn't really fazed by it... Like... At all

-He honestly knows he's a bit weird himself, and you certainly don't outmatch him in that aspect. He kinda understands he doesn't have room to judge

-He could chill while you're literally gnawing on his arm

-He acts like it's as normal as a hug or a kiss

-If he's wound up and energetic like he tends to get, he honestly might get cuteness aggression simply because he knows its the way you show affection

Pyro:

-They kinda get excited. They just automatically understand somehow

-Just a strange "yippee! They love me enough to bite me!" vibe. I guess they see it sorta like how cats bite to show affection

-They get all giddy whenever you bite them. They'll hug you and probably press their mask against your face and leave a mark. You're gonna have to deal with it cuz that's as close as they can get to a kiss

Demoman:

-Probably stays near you at first cuz they want you to bite them, sorta like how some people will cling to their partner after their first kiss

-He was extremely surprised and confused at first, but after he understands it's just a way you give affection, he chills

Heavy:

-As long as you aren't biting him like you're trying to chew a jawbreaker, he just lets you and doesn't say much. Might make a joke about vampirism or something, but that's about it

-He doesn't really care one way or another about the biting, he's just happy you're giving him affection

-Gives you forehead kisses or something after you bite him because he doesn't want to sit there and not reciprocate affection

-Raises an eyebrow at first but doesn't really acknowledge it. He assumes that it wasn't supposed to be anything weird because of how casual you were about it and it didn't really hurt

Engineer:

-He has a high pain tolerance, so he's one of the ones you could bite harder if you wanted to

-Once he knows its a love language for you, he smiles to himself whenever you bite him

-We know how spirited he can get during battle, so if you bite him while he's still riding that high, expect to receive big bear hugs

-Probably a little weirded out at first, but once you tell him you just like to show affection that way, he calms down

Medic:

-Would quickly tell you when it hurts, but I think he would have a decent pain tolerance because of all the times he's gotten hurt working on his machines

-It takes a bit, but he gets to a point where he doesn't even really think about it when you bite him. He just automatically gives you a kiss so.ewhere on your face or rubs your back or arm. Just something generally small and sweet

-Have you met this man? He probably fucking giggles the first time you bite him. He's weird as shit, biting would look like a normal love language to him

Sniper:

-Thinks it's the cutest fucking thing ever

-Would hug you or pepper your face with kisses whenever you bite him

-He loves it tbh. Bite him as much as you want. Make him bleed, even

-His love for you just intensifies every single time you bite him. Be careful with that power

-Mildly surprised. More like a "huh, interesting" kind of surprised

Spy:

-Doesn't mind if you bite him

-He would also smile to himself when you bite him

-He really doesn't mind pain, but there is a certain point where he'd stop you

-50/50 chance he hugs you after you bite him, or he'll just chuckle to himself

-Dafuq why are you biting him

-It would take him a LONG time to get used to the idea of it being a form of affection

-He doesn't really like it, but if you're patient enough, he'll get to the point where he allows it

-Would much prefer kisses or hugs or something like that, but if biting makes you happy, he's just gonna have to allow it at some point

-Just because he's uptight doesn't mean he's gonna deny your favorite forms of affection