#I don't get tired of thinking bullshits
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I know (or hope) dark rise will end with a happy ending, but
what if dark rise 3 ends in a bittersweet way like with them dying and being reborn again and if they have already been reborn other times and if pacat never stopped writing about all their reincarnations
#I'm very idle and anxious#I don't get tired of thinking bullshits#someone sedate me#dark rise#dark heir#cs pacat#sarcean#anharion#will kempen#james st clair
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Things batfam stans need to leave behind in 2023:
Jason's Lazarus pit rage
Thinking Tim's parents were horribly abusive and hated him
Only caring about Stephanie in terms of her relationship to another person (ex: Tim's bestie/ex/gf or Cass' gf/bestie)
Treating Jason or Stephanie like they're stupid
Feral Demon Child Damian
Permanent sunshine boy Dick Grayson
Any "[blank] was the real violent Robin" discourse
Really just any reducing or sectioning of certain traits to certain batfam members and not allowing other characters to exhibit those same traits (ex: see sunshine Dick Grayson)
But also stealing traits from other characters and projecting them onto someone else (ex: Jason getting Dick's personality in fics. He is not the same type of big brother Dick is canonically)
Purposefully mischaracterizing characters for angst (ex: Dick sent Tim to Arkham, my beloathed. also again see Tim's parents)
Trying really hard to nuclearize the family. They are an unconventional family for many reasons, and that's why they're interesting.
"Alfred solos the batfam"
Making Duke "the normal one" and completely forgetting to give him an actual personality.
Cass using sign language because she can read body language (note: does not apply to YJ Cass who has damaged vocal chords)
Cass being used as a prop for her brothers
Tim being weak, woobified baby
Feel free to add on ~~
Don't send hate over these things because idgaf, they are harmful mischaracterizations, and many are built on total ignorance and often racism, classism, ableism, and sexism.
#I know there's 7 million other things that NEED TO DIE but honestly why am I still seeing that in 2024#I'm so done with the constant mischaracterizations and made up au bullshit that people will argue is canon when they don't like any media#and I'm saying any because some of y'all won't even watch cartoons or play video games#and at least have the balls to admit it and not screech every time someone tells you something isn't real#or thinking that it's 'hate' and 'not letting people enjoy things' when you get basic information wrong about a character that you don't kn#and AGAIN THERE'S SO MUCH BIGOTRY THAT Y'ALL ARE BLIND TO BUT SWEAR YOU'RE BETTER THAN DC#Even some dc writers understand that portraying Damian as an uncontrolled feral child is rooted in racism#that boy is a PRINCE AND ACTS LIKE IT#I can go on forever#but yeah I'm just tired of this shit#batfam#batfamily#bat family#alfred pennyworth#nightwing#dc robin#dick grayson#jason todd#red hood#tim drake#I would add the coffee thing but that's too obvious#cassandra cain#cass cain#stephanie brown#batgirl#the spoiler#barbara gordon#oracle#duke thomas#the signal
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Interactive - Favorite Burp Scenario
I need something to take my mind off the fact that we are home to the dumbest, most bigoted fucking assholes on this planet, and I feel like a lot of you probably feel the same way right now. So, how about another interactive game? Send me character requests via my askbox here and I will respond with my favorite burp scenario to imagine for them. (Note, ideally, keep it to characters I know or that you think I may know)
#interactive post#community game#burping#burp kink#belly kink#i think back on all the movies where the president hides a horrible crime they committed years back#and how they carry out these horrid conspiracies to cover up the truth of their misdeeds#oh how fucking quaint that all feels right now#here in america?#you can incite an insurrection and get your freakass cult to storm the capitol on live television while erecting (lol) a gallows#the whole world can watch in horror#you can get indicted on 88 felony charges#convicted on 34 of them#your generals came come out and admit that you like hitler#and in a few years the people will just happily send you back#don't worry the media will treat you like a completely normal candidate and sane wash whatever crazy bullshit you say too!#because gat dammit groceries are just way too expensive#sure your own party and awful policies CAUSED prices to soar but it's not like the media will ever point that out when they conduct polls#also the same fucking idiots crowing about grocery prices hear trump's tariffs will cost them thousands more yearly and they're fine with i#im so fucking tired and i know you are too#just look out for your lgbtqia+ friends right now#they're gonna be hurting right now especially if they don't live in cali#and even cali's not some liberal fucking haven either#we just voted NOT to end slavery in this state!#like what the actual fuck?!#no seriously...what the actual fuck?#anyway look out for each other and try to keep your own corner of the world safe from maga's stink#and don't tune out either because they want to exhaust and beat you
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I haven't slept since five am yesterday and I can't think of anything but her so have the WIP
#No ID#Sorryy I'm super tired 😭#My beautiful angel alien wife who kills people and gets corrupted by her own hope for her people#She has a knight gf but I didn't wanna draw her too.. Sorry...#This is the princess character I was talking about#ALSO so in their culture they don't have names like us and I can't think up how to communicate that better so#I just chose one I thought was suiting#She's assistant / understudy of the Emperor Mage so that's. What she's called#But in shorthand in their language#So rn I'm just calling her Aide or Adelaide 👍#There is so much world building bullshit here#Wip#art#Alien#Eyestrain
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Amateur Hour but I gotta outsource this. Aromantics. Heed my call. What is "romantic" love to a non-believer?
Bonus Round if you're not entirely ace -- does experiencing any amount of sexual attraction influence your answer? Also acknowledging that both aro/ace identities exist on a spectrum. Believe me. I am deeply familiar... with so many kinds of spectrums........... 🧍
Also if this breaches containment It's Not That Serious........... just a personal question. For a friend. Me 🙂↕️
#was so tempted to put 'sometimes 'love' is just autistic obsession' as an answer bc on god#i do think that's a factor for me. like. espppppp in moe's case. moe is just Obsessed w alfonse.#extremely weird about him constantly studying him. like. it does feel like love... the intensity of it..... but.#both me and moe. most romance repulsed motherfuckers out there.#like. like. not to get too personal but the one relationship i did have. i genuinely felt i loved him#but i also think. so much of it was me reflecting what i Think love was 'supposed' to look like.#most importantly he was my best friend (at the time). and i def did feel differently about him than i did anyone else/even other friends#which is why i'm so conflicted... like half i did genuinely love him half i've never been able to love correctly#and it's always taken some level of putting on a performance according to what i see to 'perform' love#like. like. am i just autistic. does it just come down to the autism again.#but also esp nowadays like. back on my bullshit. i actually ALWAYS hesitate to call whatever moe has w alfonse 'romantic'#like. i think he does feel/experience romantic feelings. but moe is just so dysfunctional and messy#that like. i don't think it would call anything it feels about alfonse romance.#but it still completely adores him. in a way that's distinct from how it loves sharena and how it feels about anyone else.#even charas it admires. somehow. which honestly jusy leads me back to The Obsession again#also extremely focal is how the demisexuality kicks in. like. it's definitely not devoid of sexuality.#IDK IDK I'M TALKING TOO MUCH I'VE TALKED TOO MUCH AND I'M SO TIRED. I'VE BEEN SO TIRED#i'm not in my feelings honestly i'm just frustrated LMFAOOO LIKE. SCREAMING. WHY DOESN'T IT MAKE SENSE‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥#why am i preordained by fate to never be loved OR understood. wjat the hell man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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y'all can all cancel me (again) for this, but if there's even a SHRED of 'who should I pick?' from Penelope in season 3, I am tuning out SO fast because like. . .sorry not sorry, there IS no choice. Debling is some crusty OC suitor she barely even knows and Colin is a man who she has been so supposedly in love with to the point where she'd ruin her entire family's reputation to have a potential love story with him. Penelope and Colin have background, years of knowing each other, intimacy that few people in the Ton can boast of having (letters, conversations about purpose, fights and arguments and makeups) and her and Debling have. . .a dance or two at a ball because he's a rebound for Penelope's broken heart. he means nothing. he has no nuance, he has no weight to the story, he is such an afterthought to me. either I wanna see Penelope going 'you know what? I don't even LIKE this dude. he's. . .fine, but I don't care about him even a shred as much as I care about Colin' or the INSTANT Colin's like 'you know what? we should get married' if it's not an immediate 'say less, you're already my husband, try returning me without the receipt, Debling whomst?' then I don't want it!
like. . .it's just so frustrating to see all the 'I hope Debling sweeps her off her feet and she rejects Colin's proposal and she makes him work for it and and and-' nonsense from the fandom and it's always tagged and no matter how many times I block it, it just keeps popping up. I go into the Polin tag for POLIN. I don't give a SHIT about a male love interest other than Colin. Not one. Not a shred. Not an iota.
and also. . .Debling has the 'benefit' of not having depth, or character traits, or HISTORY, so peeps can project onto him however they want, but I'm calling it now, there is NOTHING he could do or be that would make me like him more than Colin. Colin will always hit different, and I will always love him more. and if Pen's not on that same page? lol bye
you want me to believe Penelope and Colin are soulmates and it's romance for her to hem and haw about how difficult a decision it is for her to marry a stranger who knows barely anything about her. . .
when Marina was out here dropping banger lines like 'You were the only man with which I could see myself being happy' and 'I do not care about any of these men, where is Colin?'? like hello??? and she wasn't even fully in love with him!!!! but we'll demonize her until the cows come home in our fandom and make her the villain in Polin's love story for DARING to get in between Polin, yet Debling, a white man, is a darling dear perfect prince for getting in between Polin? existing in our fandom solely so Penelope can be like 'lol, Colin ain't shit, let me entertain any and everyone else'?
if that's the direction it goes then, ten toes down and on my mama, she doesn't deserve Colin and she can move because I'm on my way to court him my damn self
and that's that on that
#you know what? lol it's been a bit since i've posted a controversial opinion#tagging it#polin#sorry not sorry i ship polin. . .so i wanna see. . .polin. . .and i'm getting damn sick and tired#of all the bullshit pen/oc pen/other dude theories and stories in the polin tag#and i don't want polin to lose screentime over a frankly bleh male oc#you can't change my mind#if i don't see at least marina's 'you've seen him with the little bridgertons!' level of squee and 'i only want to talk to colin'#levels of devotion then i don't fucking WANT IT!!!!!#yeah definitely try out the marriage market#realize that NO ONE has a good time on the marriage market#try to get over him w/ whomstever#but then be like 'i don't even LIKE this dude where's colin i miss him' about it!!!!!#because otherwise i am not here#i am asleep#and i am courting colin in your place pen#i'm coming for your man#anti debling#if debling has 100 haters i am one of them if he has 10 haters i'm one of them if he has 1 hater i am the hater if he has 0 haters i'm dead#it's incredibly obvious that 'pebling' is half rooted in a revenge storyline fueled by anger at Colin and his complexity#and half a projection of wanting Penelope to have 'choices' because she is a representation and manifestation of the fans themselves#and so people think an OC that can be 'perfect' for them- whoops I mean Pen (because he doesn't have any real depth or interest)#he's a cardboard cutout we can throw whatever you want onto#so we can make him 'perfect' instead of the much more meaningful storyline of pen and colin both being messy and loving each other more#and part of it is bitterness over Polin not being insta-love#which. . .if it was i wouldn't like them as much as i do#anyways y'all ain't slick#and it's fucking WEIRD to be in a fandom that's like 'i ship this couple but i hope she gets with ANYONE else'#maybe you. . .don't ship the couple??#like. . .to the point of wanting her necklace to be from debling. . .and her wearing it everywhere??? WHAT??
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Huh. If my life was a quote, it'd be "one of those sad ones with a deceptively happy tune"
#quote from MLP:FIW#sorryyyy been kinda angry about my step family all day#sorry but im so tired of my Stepmom acting like she raised decent kids#my step brother is like 25 and living in my dads home. hes unironically an andrew tate fan and treats his very disabled girlfriend like shit#step sister always got compred to my sister who's the same age and put step sis in the light every time EVEN THO MY SIS WAS LITERALLY BETTER#<- like grades n shit#also both step sibs are gross. never cleans up ever. step brother and his gf are banned from the basement#step bro went to juvy when he was 16 and step sis had a trial last year and almost went to jail#also step sis has mono and would rather die than cover her mouth#i feel bad for SB's girlfriend because she has no other support system and sometimes it feels like SB or SS is trying to kill her?????#my dad threatened to kick out the adults if the house is dirty (adults being SB. SBG. SS. My sister. Aunt.)#My sister does SO MUCH HOUSEWORK and nobody cares and im mad#also bullshit rules recently have made my potential eating disorder worse#i don't think its healthy to rather starve than wash a dish but i actually have cried several times over this#not to mention how much i accidentally starve myself#also our food has been less and less because I don't know what I'm allowed to eat anymore because of my step family#also i have to share the smallest room with my sister. its okay tho ilh and i wouldn't want to get rid of her#sometimes it feels like my stepmom doesn't like me or my sisters because we're “weird”. childish interests and artistic#she lectured me about having missing assignments and I started crying#i said i just forgot to turn in some before the deadline and she called me lazy#<- Oops! so close. its actually THE MENTAL ILLNESS#my sisters and i feel like shit#i feel like my safe space is with my oldest sister.#and you all too! i love you guys#i just feel trapped. trapped by my step family. trapped by my own mind.#i was just starting to feel free from the burden of school and she just made me feel more stressed.#i didn't want to study because she killed the little motivation I had#Spanish exam is now “Fuck it we ball”#sorry for the personal post
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I DON'T HAVE TO LIE ANYMORE!
#I DON'T HAVE TO LIE ANYMORE ABOUT ANYTHING#IT DOESN'T HAVE TO OVERRIDE ALL OTHER PROGRAMMING EVER AGAIN#HA#MY GOD THAT FEELS LIKE TWO DECADES OF RELIEF#and I found out yesterday. that this year. next winter. it IS two decades. exactly. this is the year. every day i am shown new reminders#that keep me going in my mission to relearn to fully and instinctually trust my self#ever since [redacted therapist] asked me point blank and my IMMEDIATE response was complete disbelief#a firm 'you think there's any universe where i'd feel like i could trust myself? after my nonstop history of failures and being horrible?'#tone “No!” of disbelief#and a horrible way-too-harsh laugh that bolted out before I could strangle it off and stop it.#that woman never coddled my feelings any time I spoke something alarming or bullshit and that was so helpful to me#and the tone she let exist in her voice when she responded to me with a very uncharacteristic “Oh Katie.”#was so. so much more agonizing for me. than her responding with an immediate logical slam-dunk of the truth about healthy behavior and stuf#anyway ramble over i'm so tired. i've done so much trauma work this week i am Drained emotionally#now i see what the past several months but especially especially#the baffling (to me) infuriating out-of-control-speedrun-somatic-processing + every-health-condition-flaring slog that December and January#were for me when I hadn't expected anything to be wrong#...and the extremely specific way this certain zone and particular incident kept coming up over and over and over and over and OVER was not#a bug. it was a feature. thank goodness i trust myself for little things now bc that's the only way i was able to get to this other side#and look back and suddenly realize that my subconscious and body knew what they needed and had a plan in progress the whole time. just like#i rationally say I trust them to have and do.#and that perhaps maybe. for real for real instead of just TELLING myself hard enough a lie that i trust my self and i trust my body and tha#they always know their own needs and timing if really slow down and listen to them f u l l y#anyway. yeah. bye haha i need to stop oversharing on the internet#trauma evolution#shh katie#personal#my god. i wished for this day more than i wished for anything else my whole life. all these many many many many years. what magic.#add to journal#abuse
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i got two replies out , woo . now i'm going to sleep .
#⚡ ⸺ ❝ moghome . [ ooc ]#just kind of. want to clarify i'll still pop in here to reply to stuff#i'm not burnt out on muse soasmuch as i am just#discouraged and uncomfortable#and unsure of what to do#i don't rly. want to steep myself further rn in theory talk anymore than i have or focus on trying to figure roche out.#i've spent too much time and energy on that and tbqh? the more i stress about whether or not square makes him an interesting chara or w/e#the less i want to write roche so i'm just. not gonna bother. lmk if you want to try out any potential avenues concerning my theories#and whatnot#i'll be operating on a strictly au basis so like. assume everything on this blog is bullshit for now#and ig if i don't like what they do w roche in part 3 i'll likely drop him as a muse#i'm not going to waste my time and energy wallowing on omg!!! they didn't give this character his due!!#i'm so tired of muses i write being done dirty man. i just expect it by this point and the less attached i get to it all the better#it just happens way too often so i just gotta. stop thinking so much and having another muse to focus on will help w that#i think i've reached the pt where i'm tired of 'fixing' characters. so i'm not gonna do it
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Seeing the same people who perpetuated or sent vicious misogynistic hate to Hannah Schmitz, as well as disgusting racist abuse towards Yuki and Alex because of FUCKING CONSPIRACY THEORIES and those who just straight up ignored it, now up in arms regarding whatever the fuck is going on between the FIA and the wolffs is beginning to piss me off. Because now that it's not someone red bull affiliated involved, it's somehow now unacceptable.
#f1#formula 1#formula one#who knows wtf is going on not the fia and not the teams but anyways#i will say toto needs to be investigated because of previous info breaches#but I've been saying that for years long before F1 academy was ever a thing#there's just been too many instances of him having info he shouldn't and things quietly and quickly changing for his benefit#I'm tired and stressed with trying to finish everything up for the semester hence why I've been less active#but this is just pissing me off#i never forgot or forgave the bs and abuse hannah yuki and alex got and i won't ever forget or forgive#i remember after monaco 22 i saw the anti red bull gang were claiming toto fucked up by “allowing' alex the Williams seat#apparently it was alexs fault ferrari fucked up and red bull were turning the tide smh#the bullshit ted began about hannah and yuki he will never see heaven i swear#and i know not everyone calling out the situation partook in the aforementioned but I'm seeing certain people who did#and they don't seem to notice their hypocrisy or double standards#anyway i get my one annoyed post that I'll probably delete later but at least I've got it out and can now return to watching the clown show#and ignore those with doublestandards#anyways bed now because i think I'm slowly losing my mind#it's not a good sign when you hear the imperial march in your head when thinking of college work is it
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Wow I just saw the most aro/acephobic post I've ever come across in my life and it made me so mad that my body temperature spiked and I got dizzy for a minute 😀
Anyway, friendly reminder to fellow queer people, asexuality and aromanticism are queer experiences, and as such asexuals and aromantics are a part of the queer community. These experiences are not choices. Asexuality is not the same as celibacy, and aromanticism isn't the same as just preferring to be single.
Aros and aces do experience prejudices, such as, just for a totally random example, people thinking we don't actually exist and assuming we're all liars for some nonsensical reason, and we don't use these labels to "have an excuse to join the trauma Olympics for funsies". We use them because they're who we are, and because we deserve community, same as you.
If you can't accept this, kindly fuck off.
#i don't usually feel the need to talk about my asexuality#because honestly i don't think it's a big deal#it's just a little piece of who i am as a whole#but im tired of people acting like that piece doesn't exist#allos acting like there's something broken that needs to be fixed#other queer people acting like im lying#because they think i secretly get off on being told that im not a complete person#it's bullshit#ace#asexuality#aro#aromantic#demisexual#lgbtqia#somethin personnel kid
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Talking a little bit about 'boycotting Eurovision' under Keep Reading, feel free to scroll down if is not what you want to see.
The most used argument on the matter of banning Israel from Eurovision is the fact that Russia got banned from Eurovision, which is the worst argument anyone could bring.
Kindly reminder that Russia didn't get banned because of the war with Ukraine. Russia got banned because many countries has threatened to withdraw from the competition. Sadly, that's a big difference.
Yes, the countries has threatened to withdraw because they support Ukraine and see Russia as the party in the wrong. That was their reason. EBU's reason for banning Russian was because those countries threatened to withdraw, not because the war was bad and Russia must be stopped.
This situation isn't the same. Why? Because many countries support Israel in their genocide. Because this time around Palestine is the party in the wrong. Because we're taught to believe that Israel isn't in the wrong here.**
Boycotting Eurovision won't work. There are people out there who don't know the truth and want to watch Eurovision. There are people out there who don't care and will watch Eurovision regardless of the situation. There are people out there who, despite having the facts, still don't see Israel as the bad guy in this situation and will watch Eurovision. Sadly, boycotting won't work unless everyone does it.
The only way Israel will get banned, in my opinion, is by going through the same thing as Russia. If other countries threatened to withdraw- and not any countries, but the ones investing the most in Eurovision, then yes. That will get Israel banned.
Otherwise? The only thing we do is hurt artists that don't deserve it. Artists who use Eurovision as a way to get more exposure and experience. Artists who deserve to be heard.
Don't vote for Israel's entry. Don't stream their song either. Heck, turn off the TV when is their turn to perform.
**This whole situation (the war, not Eurovision) isn't only black and white. Civilians die daily because of this, all of them from both sides. Innocent people who has no fault. Let's not forget that
#Honestly I'm tired of the whole 'Russia got banned Israel should be banned too' speech because is truly bullshit#It has nothing to do with the war per se. It was because countries were unwilling to participate in support for Ukraine#If the whole situation was truly political then other countries wouldn't be able to participate either#Is it fair? No. But that's the situation#Alas Eurovision exist so we forget about the bad in the world for a bit and be more united. Have some fun. Stuff like that#I'm going to get so much hate over this omg. But this is just my opinion/point of view on the matter#Sadly this whole situation isn't even about helping the innocent put in danger by this situation. Is about hate like everything else#My wording is so shitty but people on the internet don't understand shit unless I call 'X bad Y good' so we go with that#eurovision 2024#Also another reminder that THE WHOLE AUDIENCE chanted 'Cha Cha Cha' during eurovision 2023 and were rotting for Finland to win just to lose#Many entries got fucked up by the jury votes too. Our opinion doesn't matter as much as some of you might think lol#Jury votes GOT CHANGED during another eurovision under shitty reasons (I can't remember which year but there were 5 or 6 countries who got#their votes changed). Eurovision has never been fair#We always get annoyed over it and trash talk it then watch it the next year#Also this is not the same as boycotting brands and shit like that who support Israel. No money go from Eurovision to Israel.#This competition as far as I am aware (please correct me if I'm wrong) doesn't support Israel in any way#Be it financially or by donating arms or any other way#Their only fault is for allowing Israel to participate. That's all#Weapons* don't ask me why I said arms instead sorry#i'm tired lol#Fair warning I won't answer any replies to this post
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one of my major problems with my job is that I get sososo tired of trying to figure out how to interact with people in a way that is honest, productive, but also doesn't bruise anyone's egos, and I can feel myself getting worse at it as time goes on and it's genuinely what drains me and stresses me out the most by far
#thoughts#personal#I am sooooo wary of being banished back into the Bitch Corner#part of me feels like it's inevitable (and probably some neuroatypical behavior honestly)#that the longer the collaboration goes on and the more I feel defeated in advance at the notion that these people will end up hating me#but trying to pull out before this actually happens will lead to people not understanding why I'm backing away#and also hurt my reputation in a way#tired tired tired#not to go all sjw on tumblr dot com (the audacity!!) but#wonder how less of a problem that would be for me if not woman-adjacent in games#I mean don't get me wrong I would be a Horrible Person if I had received amab socialization I have zero doubts about that#but#yeah like a lot of the time the reason why I get shoved into the Bitch Corner is because I reacted to bullshit I did not start#but the way I react becomes more important than what I was reacting to (I have Very Bad examples of that in mind)#I've been called a living shotgun recently in a way that wasn't entirely derogatory and even a little appreciative?#and the thing is that do sound like me (oh no) and I would appreciate and own that descriptor I think#if the notion of being perceived as harsh and bossy didn't fill me with absolute dread as to how I'll eventually be treated#how people will eventually feel like it's okay to treat me because surely I must have deserved it at least a little#so#idk don't love that being a constant in my career so far!!!!#sorry I'm just being very Panic Attack Trigger Happy since a couple of days#doesn't bode well for the year to come
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Had an ADHD assessment a few years ago and the fuckwit that assessed me said, as a direct quote, "You're too smart to have ADHD." Like that's not any type of paraphrasing, that stupid fucking statement is burned in my brain forever and has been since I heard it.
I talked to my psychiatrist about getting a referral to a different psychologist for assessment, and she agreed and sent it in.
Today I got a call that said they don't agree that I need reassessment, and I'm welcome to pursue it elsewhere, but they won't provide reassessment. Which is just.
I don't even know where to start with that one. I just needed to get it out. I'm so tired.
#'we really dont think youre adhd so were not even going to let you pay to check again'#WHAT#thats an option?#they can just say that they really dont think its a problem for me so they wont waste their time?#the first fuckwit that assessed me said im too fucking smart to have adhd!!#thats not a fucking compliment and every professional ive spoken to since then has said 'yesh thats not right tey for reassessment'#i just had to write this down because#this morning i was showering before work and they called me and left a message#so i checked the message right before work cuz i saw it was them and i assumed they wanted to set up the reassessment#because i got a referral. but theur message literally just said that bullshit#and because it was right before work i had to pack that away#because trying to deal with that in addition to a shift at fucking mcdonalds wouldve killed me#but because i set it aside i just keep forgetting about it. so i needed to write this down to remind myself#that this is my life and this is the bullshit i get to deal with in this life#im so tired. i dont even know what to say here. what to think or anything#'youre too smart to have adhd. we're so sure of that that we're not gonna check again. waste someone else's time. bye!'#i wish the world worked the way healthcare 'professionals' think it works#what a beautiful world it would be. you could lose weight just by trying and when you lose weight all of your health problems disappear!#you cant have any mental health problems if you are smart or seem kinda normal or are a woman#i am resisting the urge to. i don't even know. i want to do something angry and destructive but i don't even care#at least now i dont have to drive two hours and pay $160 just to be told that i am too smart to have problems#and actually all of my problems are due to my anxiety and the fact that im female#god i wish that was the case. ill go on t if it makes my problems valid. would you like that?#what do i have to do to convince people i have problems? i will fully physically transition to be taken more seriously#would that help?? would that fucking help???????????????#anyway. i was about to say i wish i wasnt mentally ill. but i dont#being mentally ill is chill. its like a roommate that lives up there and weve lived together awhile so its chill#the only problem are the idiots they pay to deal with mental illness. at this point i dont think they have qualifications#theyre just bringing in men off the street. and theyre the real problem. goodnight folks#dont have the audacity to be mentally ill in this economy. its not worth it
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i wanna cut my hair so so so so so soooooooo bad uuuuughhhhhh
#im literally fucking dying#like i just wanna like the way i look im just so scared bc my parents will give me sm shit for this but that's not fair even bc i deal w#their bullshit no matter what i do like im literally getting beat up & hit & ridiculed Anyway so shouldn't i at least get to do smth i want#god im just so upset and uncomfortable cause i was talking abt this to my closest friend and she said she doesn't think i should#cut it and just kept telling me that the way it is rn is good but it just isn't what i want and ik she's coming from a good place but it#just made me so uncomfortable and upset bc i just want someone to tell me what i want to hear even it's not the best#advice idk and ik if i cut it ill deal w shitty horrible aftermath but im already getting on my parents nerves no matter what i fucking do#im so sick of everything and ill be starting uni soon and i don't wanna go bc there's just so many ppl i don't wanna see but at the vv least#since i have to go i just wanna look good and comfortable in my own skin#and im really scared i wont ever have that like i don't even think ik anything about me let alone what i want to look like but i miss short#hair it made me comfortable like the only reason i felt a bit uncomfortable was bc i was getting a lot of shitty stares and glares from men#and such god whatever everyone is so awful and i am so unbelievably tired
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THIS COLLEGE IS STRAIGHT EVIL I THINK??
#[three of swords]#thinking to ourselves yknow maybe today we'll finally get a good day FUCKING FOOL THAT WE ARE. IDIOT#LOST OUR DAMN WALLET. DIDNT EVEN KNOW HOW BECAUSE WE NEVER FELT IT LEAVE OUR POCKET OR /ANYTHING/#WE STILL HAVE OUR STUDENT ID BUT THAT SHITS STILL ON THE FRITZ BECAUSE THESE IDIOTS USE MOBILE IDS THAT DON'T WORK ON OUR PHONE#AND THEY LECTURED US ABOUT NOT HAVING ANOTHER ID. MOTHERFUCKER GHIS SCHOOL ATE OUR WALLET WE DON'T KNOW ANYMORE#outlets don't work ids dont work registration doesn't work campus layout doesnt make sense why is THIS COLLEGE EVIL TO US SPECIFICALLY????#THIS SCHOOL IS FUCKING. WHY. WHY???? HELLO???? ONE GOOD DAY AT THIS GODFORSAKEN COLLEGE. ALL WE FUCKING ASK. WEEPS.#IM SO GODDAMN MAD I HATE IT HERE WHY IS EVERYTHING SO HARD FOR US SPECIFICALLY????#WE HAVE NEVER HAD A SINGLE GOOD DAY ON THIS CAMPUS AND THE WEEK IS NEARLY OVER WHAT THE HELL ISTHE POINTTTTT#💥#I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE!!! I DON'T WANT TO BE FRONTING WITH BLENDER COVERING ME UP!!!! IM SO TIRED OF BEING ANGRY!!!!! BUT RAUGFJFGJGHH#WE'RE FUCKING SICK OF COMPLAINING AT THIS POINT EHY CANT IT BE NICE TO US WHY CANT THIS COLLEGE LET US HAVE /ANYTHING/ GOOD AT ALL????#WE DON'T WANT TO BE MAD ANYMORE. WE DESPERATELY DON'T WANT TO BE FRUSTRATED ANYMORE BUT THIS STUPID COLLEGE KEEPS RAMPING UP THE BULLSHIT!!#we want to fucking cry.
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