#I don't even know where it came from

[thelambthatkilledthewolf]

Random headcanons about Hezekiah Wakely because no one appreciates this absolute treasure of a man:

- if he had lived in a time where gender was actually understood, he would've used he/they/it pronouns

- he has autism and BPD and was probably shunned for being "weird"

- his special interest is bugs, but specifically the kinds that burrow in the ground

- his liquor of choice was bourbon and he drank that shit straight

- he was vaguely acquainted with Jonah Magnus, but didn't like him much

- he had a secret relationship with Simon Fairchild and I will die on this hill

- all his bullshit about the Lord in his letters to that one guy was fake. He desperately tried to believe in God bc it was the 1800's and everyone did, but he never actually felt like God was really there

- Smirke heard of his little misdemeanors and immediately clocked him as a Buried avatar, and tried to "recruit" him into the Regency group (Smirke wanted to study him.) He refused because fuck rich people

- he faked his death so that he could be buried alive, and that's how he died

Bonus: That was the first time Simon ever truly mourned the loss of a person. (The second would be two hundred years later, when a certain detective put a bullet in Michael Crew's brain)

[normal-sea-urchin]

for reasons unbeknownst to me, i have been hit with a strange and rather peculiar fascination with lycanthropy

[purrassicjet]

clean out your pockets, kids. you might just find $6.60 in loose change

[shadowmallow]

Got this ai shill in my dms on Deviantart. Hesitant to reply to them again. Don’t want to get slapped with another unparagraphed block of text. Also, why can’t they come up with anything original? I only skimmed that text brick and it was the same shit I’ve read thousands of times. Over and over again. Ending with them calling me a loser. They need new material. 

I guess I could tell them to touch grass or something. I don’t know, I don’t care enough to think up an intelligent retort. 

[flawedemerald]

I called someone an "idiot bitch" on Reddit today.

[sugarlywhispers]

the sudden thought of bakugou katsuki sending an audio to his s/o while at the gym, where he speaks IN BETWEEN GASPS AND GRUNTS AND EVEN GROWLS BECAUSE OF THE AMOUNT OF WEIGHT HE'S LIFTING WHILE ALSO TALKING ABOUT WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE FOR DINNER AND SUGGESTING MEALS OR PLEACES TO GO IF YOU WANT AND THEN HE SAYS, "Ugh... whatever you... mmh... want, baby, it's yours..." AND HE EXHALES FUCKING SEXILY AS THE SOUND OF THE WEIGHT DROPPING IS HEARD.

— I'M DYING HELP.

[kosmicpowers]

Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be truly content in life or if I'll just keep chasing the unreachable expectations I set.

No matter how many drawings I make or stories I write it will never be enough for me. I create and create but nothing feels good enough, so I'll keep holding on that the next thing is better, the thing I'll be proud of. But it won't.

I could create the most glorious, absolutely fucking flawless worldwide acclaimed piece of media and I'll still call it shit.

Relationships, accomplishments, intelligence and creativity. In my mind it's all a goal I'm so close yet so far to reaching. A checklist. My worth is how much I please other people and the legacy I leave. And I'm afraid nothing will change it even though I inside I know I'm wrong and should just love myself. But I can't.

[thetablestspoon]

I feel like I just coughed out my soul

[sassypantsjaxon]

Monoma: Well well well, if it isn't class A

Monona: *continues to deride class A*

Monona *down bad*: Except for you Shinsou, you're doing amazing sweetie

Shinsou *down just as bad*: thank.

[transmascutena]

the poor little meow meow-ifictation of saionji in this fandom has got to stop i can't take it any more

[castielsprostate]

if god can jerk off on his period so can you

[buddie-buddie]

it could be love (we could be the way forward)

Buck was in the shower when they got the call. 

He’s always been a little afraid of showering on shift– afraid of hearing the klaxons ring while there’s still conditioner in his hair, afraid of having to towel off and dress at the speed of light, and all the awfulness that comes with wrestling clothes over still-damp skin. He’s afraid of the extra minute it takes him to get himself dressed and on the engine being the difference between someone else’s life and death. 

He avoids it at all costs, only does it when they first get back from a call and Bobby puts them out of service for a half hour to give everyone time to clean up and grab a bite. 

They’d just come back from a three-alarm fire at an office building downtown, a beast of a thing that took three stations four hours to put down. As they pulled back into the station, Buck’s bones ached and his stomach growled and there was soot covering every inch of him. He could feel it in his sweat-damp hair, could smell it every time he breathed. He figured it was clinging to the tiny hairs in his nose, was pretty certain if he blew his nose the tissue would come back tinged in gray. 

He was on autopilot as he clambered out of the back of the engine, tucking his gear away and stumbling for the showers on tired legs. His bad leg was killing him. He’d woken up with a dull ache in his knee, and figured it was due to the dark, heavy clouds in the sky and the fact that the temperature had plummeted about fifteen degrees in as many hours. 

He’d done his stretches and taken some ibuprofen in hopes of getting ahead of the worst of it, but it was no match for a tough shift with an unrelenting fire. The ache was bone-deep now, radiating up and down his leg with a fierceness that had Buck gritting his teeth and biting back a wince as he stepped into the shower. 

He needed the fancy massage gun Maddie had gotten him for Christmas. And maybe some deep heat. The one that Eddie’s Abuela gave him, made from capsaicin from chili peppers grown in her hometown in Mexico. And maybe a nap, too. 

But all of that would have to wait another three hours until shift change. For now, a shower was the best he could do. 

The only thing better than peeling off his sweaty, sooty clothes was the feel of the warm spray on his back, the heat of it soothing the ache beneath his skin. He tipped his head back and let the water wash away the last few hours, all of the soot and the ash and the sweat and the grime of a job well done and a fire knocked down. It took him three rounds of shampoo until the water ran clear.

He was rinsing out the last of it when the alarm rang and he remembered. 

Remembered that Bobby wasn’t here, that gone were the days of a thoughtful captain. Gone were the days of a leader who looked out for his own, a leader who cared enough about the people under his command to afford them a basic respite after all they’d just seen and done. 

Gerrard was no Bobby. 

It couldn’t have been more than ten minutes since they arrived back, and yet the alarm was already ringing out with another call. Buck hurried out of the shower, toweling off and pulling a clean shirt over his still-wet head as he listened for the details. 

STATION 118. HELICOPTER CRASH. 101 SOUTHBOUND. LAFD AIR SUPPORT PILOT DOWN.

His stomach dropped, his heart tripping over itself in his chest. 

No. No. Please no. 

He shoved down the panic rising in his throat and finished dressing, running towards the bay. 

Eddie ran up alongside him. “Is Tommy–” 

“–Out on air support."

continue on ao3

[galactic-rhea]

Do you guys ever think about how the generational cycles of abuse slowly crumble in The Simpsons? Do you ever think about it?

I love The Simpsons, and by no means it's supposed to be taken as a show that takes itself seriously, because it doesn't. But yet it handles heavy themes, it does handle strong subjects, particularly first seasons had certain, strong character's driven episodes meant to actually make you take it seriously. Even later seasons, albeit it becomes less and less of a thing (it becomes a bit heartless), has certain episodes like that. And is what makes The Simpsons a bit unique on the adult shows landmine.

Not to say it's completely original on this, because The Simpsons come from an era where sitcoms were everywhere, and sitcoms tend to be 70% comedy and then a few strong, heart-felt moments. This is because to keep you laughing, you need downs, otherwise, joke after joke after joke, you get a monotone story were there's no stakes nor pauses between a punchline and another. Comedy needs a tiny bit of seriousness, so you feel your feet on the ground, and then they will throw at you a joke, that, if is well written, is meant to surprise you, you don't see it coming. In the Simpsons, many of the classic jokes you remember best? You don't see them coming, not really, because the way they wrote the jokes in the simpsons is actually very clever, if I were to graph them, there would be several curves and points because they're jokes within jokes within jokes.

And then is a bit of dark humour, that is meant to reasonate with the audience somehow. So you laugh a bit at the fact that Homer's dad let him drink beer just so he would stop bothering him, but then the show makes you care, sometimes, about Homer being extremely hostile with his very old dad. But then you also laugh at the fact Homer's mom was a hippie, a rebel hippie, at that, that took him to Woodstock and is one of Homer's happiest memories of his childhood, and then you don't expect her literally dying.

And returning, in a way, just because she wants Homer and his family to continue what she started, and the show makes you care, the show makes you feel for the characters. Because Abe is a war veteran, he was awful to Homer and to his wife, but you also know he cared, and you also feel bad because he lives in a retirement home and wants to live with Homer and his family, but Homer will literally start the engine and leave him there, and at his age, he doesn't deserve that, but what does he deserve? Should Homer forgive him for everything? No, not really, you don't have to forgive abusers, but then it gets messy and complex because abusers don't deserve to be abused.

Homer, however, does forgive Abe, sometimes (and because of the nature of the show, it gets retconned, or forgotten, or brushed away, and etc). But more interestingly, he forgives his mom. Homer's mom was a much nicer parent, she was kind and Homer's refuge for happiness, so it's easy to forgive her, despite the fact that leaving Homer with someone like Abe was certainly, not a good choice, and we know that many, MANY of Homer's problems, all come rooted from either trauma or behaviours he learned from his childhood. And he's rightfully angry about it, he acts a bit like a rebellious teenager, because Homer is fairly inmature and this is because a extremely troubled youth.

But he forgives her right when she's literally a corpse in a chair, and then the closure comes from finishing what she started years ago as a radical environmentalist advocate.

So Homer knows, extremely well from first hand, his parents' flaws, and he is, to some degree, aware of how these affected him, which is more than most of the audience he represents realizes. But he's still an awful parent. He is abusive, towards Bart, but he also cares and tries deeply. He does an incredible much better job as a parent and as a partner than his parents.

And that's still not enough. That's not enough because trying doesn't mean sucess. The nature of the show makes it a bit harder, because sometimes it can be uqite inconsistent. There's a whole episode focused on how Homer decided to give up a lot and to stay under the awful working conditions from Mr. Burns because of Maggie, and then there are episodes where he literally forgets he has a third child.

But that's still better, somehow, than his upbringing. The bar was low, quite low, but he doesn't know anything else, and yet tries to be something different. And that's, from a narrative sense, interesting.

The cycle is breaking, is not completely over, is not a good job, but it is an attempt, it is watering down the abuse, it is making it less awful. Is like trying to purify a river, you're starting to remove the trash bags, you blocked the wastes tubes, the water is still contaminated, there's no grass and the ground is infertile. But it's a start, you need to start somewhere.

And then, in the futures episodes with Bart (and Lisa, and Maggie, even) we learn that, he isn't doing that much better either. Bart is divorced, his ex hates him because he's inmature and his children aren't very fond of him. Lisa's marriage is a bit of a mess, and her relationship with her daughter echoes a bit the one she had with Marge and Homer: She can't understand her, there's a lack of cummunication.

But it's still incredible, much better, than what they knew while growing up. Bart tries to be more responsible, he isn't abusive, his problem is that he's inmature and therefore can't connect with his children. But he doesn't quite yell at them, or tries to choke them (at least in the future episodes I remember, there are several). And unsurprisingly, he resents Homer a lot, which is logical, given everything, but he's also baffled that his children love Homer, and as a grandparent, he actually does quite a good job.

And the cycle is almost completely broken. Perhaps you can't absolutely clean it all, at least not in so few years, but it's happening and the change and evolution is logical, despite it being a sitcom, it is quite well written and sadly realistic. Bart and Lisa and Maggie don't have perfect lives as adults, and they struggle and the narrative shows you that a lot of these struggles come from their toxic enviroment.

And they're still doing better, because Homer and Marge chose to do slightly better than their parents. And so the cycle is near to the end.

I could talk about Marge, but sadly, in terms of her upbringing, there isn't much, besides the fact that she grew in a conservative home. We know her mother told her to held back tears and always pretend to be happy and force a smile, which is how she carried out in her life in many facets. And then we see she tries, at first, to teach the same to Lisa, and then decides to break that rule, to break what she forced herself to do and let Lisa be sad and express her emotions fully.

We also know she was quite bullied by her older sisters, and she's the one to always try to stop fights between Lisa and Bart, and the first one to try to stop rivalry between them when Homer tried to make them fight the other for attention.

Marge is flawed in a sense that she internalized a lot of misoginy and conservative ideals and then, sometimes, she tries to spread it, unwillingly, because is what she knows. Despite this, we know she supports Lisa's interests in studying and artistic skills. We know her mother was cold, and a bit detached, but Marge tries to be as warm and supportative as possible.

The Simpsons reasonates, mostly, with a generation that came from similar home enviroments, and, to some degree, some people in the audience could realize of their own flawed origins or how they carried those flaws, because I think the creators and writers had this in mind, the change and the struggle with trauma, the "not being good, but being better than what I remember".

So there's that. Deeply, deeeply flawed people that were raised in awful enviroments, and ultimately fail at being "good" parents, but they tried to change, and they tried to be better, and trying does matter in the end , because it's a start. They didn't end the cycle, but they planted the seeds for it. And to me, that's extremely interesting, and more so because this is the fricking Simpsons, a comedy, but like the context and narrative it generates, reasonates deeply with me despite not being for any of the generations the Simpsons represent, I'm a queer person in their 20s that was raised and still lives with an awful, awful family, but that I know their upbrinding was just so so so so much worse. And I know they try, and is not enough, and I can't quite forgive that, but I can see they try. And I know the cycle ends with me, at the very least.

[gloomysoup]

i was just going thru some notes i have for brainstorming purposes and came across something i forgot ab

picture it w me, if you will:

no upside down modern au, alpha!eddie/omega!steve (bc apparently that's where my brain always goes)

steve is drunk at a party and either billy or tommy (also drunk) takes advantage of him. he ends up pregnant, kicked out, b/t wants nothing to do w any of it. steve's mom (bc we appreciate one good parent in this house) sends him money every month in exchange for pictures and updates of child w/o his dad's knowledge.

eddie meet him at some kind of organization event for underprivileged kids that he volunteers at bc he was that kid and knows how important they are. at first, he thinks steve is another volunteer & is absolutely enamored by him. but once he sees steve's kid run up to him, he decides to back off bc he assumes this means steve is in a relationship. he keeps seeing steve around and silently pines the whole time bc he's accepted that he'll never have him.

until eddie is at the library, hosting d&d. the party joins a few campaigns, and he gets to know them a little. he likes them, they're good kids (teenagers, technically). one day steve brings his toddler to the library bc they like to look thru the picture books on steve's days off. he also knows that the party goes to d&d that day and wants to say hi. when he leaves, eddie asks the party if they know him, and they explain that steve used to babysit them and drove them around a lot when they were in middle school. he uses this as an in w steve, resolved to just talk to him once and maybe be his friend.

he asks ab the kid's other parent simply for small talk purposes, wondering what they're like and why eddie's never seen them around. steve explains that he's a single parent; the kid's father was an asshole that didn't want to face the consequences of his actions.

cue eddie desperately doing everything possible to impress this child so he can prove to steve just how serious he is ab being w them. i like the think of it in the same vein as your moms new boyfriend trying to make you like him, even tho you already do and there's no need for him to try That Hard. but much more ridiculous and dramatic in true eddie munson fashion.

[azaracyy]

a lesson on good karma digimon survive week 2024 day 4: supporting characters