#I don't CARE that she's a stand in for house he would NOT sacrifice house for that.

[hydraulicfluidinmyteapot]

no one should ever worry about their house fic being out of character when the season four finale exists btw

[sskk-manifesto]

Ep 5!!!

[redbird-tf]

Im not afraid of you now

Dean winchester x sister reader

Summary: After a failed hunt, a conflict between john and dean reveals y/ns repressed fear of dean and its strain on their bond.

(Summaries suck, i promise the stories better)

Note: inspired by and lyrics used from forward beckoned rebound

Word count: 920

Warnings: john being a bad parent,profanity, aggression, alcohol/drinking

“Fucking disaster” John grumbled stepping into the house followed by all 3 of his kids. It wasn’t often that there was a family hunt, but on the occasion that there was it meant something big was going down. They had tracked a demon through multiple big cities until they could catch up to it in Mississippi. The demon got away, thanks to various mistakes from all parties, though John would never admit to his faults. “Now we’ve got to wait for it to show its face god knows where and when!” John exclaimed throwing his duffle bag to the ground.

Sam clicked his tongue in disbelief before turning to his father. “You think this is all our fault don't you?” Sam furrowed his brows stepping up to John. “Guys, come on..” Dean groaned pinching the bridge of his nose. He was too tired to deal with another catfight. “You were the one who refused to tell us anything about this demon!” Sam yelled pointing his finger at John “i told you what i needed to!” John shouted shoving Sam back. “And you-“John had grabbed your arm as you tried walking past him. “I told you not to move until i called for you” John stated in a stern tone “but Sam needed-“You tried to explain, he didn't care, “i told you not to move!” He inched closer to your face. “Alright enough” Neither of you had seen Dean approaching until he was right in front of you. Dean gripped your upper arm, slightly gentler than John, and pushed you back a few feet behind him.

“I know we screwed up, but don't do this now.” Dean pleaded, he was too exhausted to fight but he wouldn't stand to see his younger siblings be attacked. “What are you doing Dean,” John asked cocking his head to the side “We can talk about this later” Dean explained with heavy eyes. “You trying to play daddy Dean?” He questioned dean. “No sir” he replied blankly “i leave you to take care and train them, not bring them back to me weaker!” John got closer and closer to him with every word. “I said enough!” Dean retaliated. Dean clenched his jaw, there was a moment of silence before John spoke up again “you think you can do it better, but shes just as afraid of you as she is of me” John muttered pointing behind Dean.

Dean turned his head to look at you. He watched your eyes dart from John to him, like a deer caught in headlights. You inhaled sharply, swallowing the lump in your throat along with the shame building inside of you. Dean lowered his head, bumping shoulders with John on his way out the door. You locked eyes with John before muttering out through gritted teeth “You're an asshole” you quickly turned your back making a beeline for your room. Sam tried to hold you, but you pulled away and he didn’t attempt to follow you.

————————————

Your back rested against the backboard of your bed, book in hand while you tried to distract yourself from the guilt pledging your mind, but it was no use. You couldn’t stop seeing the pure hurt on Dean's face. What John said was true, to an extent. You knew dean loved you, but you’ve never been able to cuddle up to him or talk to him like you could with Sam. Not to mention the whole macho man act he constantly put up, you had never thought about it until now. You hadn’t realized that it was all to keep you safe, so you could be emotional and make mistakes. The realization of your brother's sacrifice made you feel so much worse.

Your eyes shoot up to the door hearing it creek open. “Dad?” You called out. “No, just me,” Dean said walking into the room. You watched in silence as he sat at the edge of your bed. he eyed the sheets before his gaze met yours and he breathed out, his breath lined with the scent of whisky as it usually was at this hour. “I'm sorry i scared you earlier” he stated, you stayed silent “i don't ever mean to scare you” his tone was stern yet comforting. “I understand” you whispered so low you don't know if he heard, but he went on with his half-drunken apology “you know, i get it… when you were born, you were an infant, and innocent and i was already this villain and violent guy” he perused his lips together, too far into his mind. “Dean” you placed your hand over his clutched one “I'm not afraid of you now,not anymore” he gave you a small smile.

“May i?” He asked pulling back the sheets. you nodded watching him kick off his shoes and climb in next to you. His arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you close as He secured the embrace by clasping his wrist with his other hand. Both arms cradled you now. “Dean…” you mumbled, and you felt his sleepy “mhm” vibrate his chest “thank you…for everything” you whispered as your thumb smoothed his forearm. “Always baby” he pressed his lips to your temple, drifting off while holding you tight.

[arceus-insanity]

Something I never particularly liked about Endeavor's atonement, is that he never gave or gave up anything he actually wanted.

Like Endeavor was always willing to risk his life and limb as a hero, so any life-threatening risks or bodily harm he receives is just part of the job he was always willing to do from the beginning.

Him building a house for his remaining family members, only he won't be there?

Endeavor never cared whether he lived with his family or not, all that mattered to him was creating the strongest hero in Shoto.

So he never showed any want to be with his family until Shoto was already on his way to being a great hero.

It was barely an afterthought to him that was never followed through on.

The ending only makes all this worse, because it looks like he replaced each member of his family that he lost with heroes, the people he really wanted to be around...

Fuyumi = Burnin, onima = Natsuo, Hawks = Touya

Shoto on the path to heroic success.

And Rei there too, I guess for some reason???

Just wheeling him around...

Do you feel similarly or different about all this?

DING DING DING We have a winner!

Endeavor never has to sacrifice anything, he never chooses his family over his precious number one spot. He only even remembered they existed after he got his Precious.

And something I noticed is he is full of shit, and believes his own shit.

Like he thinks that 'oh I'll make a house for all my family members to live in' (Which we never see happen, so once again empty bullshit as always). But he never asks them what they want, it is incredibly bold to assume they would all want to live together, or even be able to with their careers, and if the kids want to start their own families. We also know Shoto likes traditional Japanese flooring, but what about the rest of them, and does Endeavor even know that?

One thing I've never seen anyone call out is his manipulative gaslighting speech to Natsuo after being rescued from Ending. He says that he didn't save Natsuo because he didn't want to make like Natsuo feel like he has to forgive him, only to without hesitation force him into a hug. So fucking much for respecting Natsuo's autonomy.

And this ain't the first time this lazy coward has froze when his kids are in immediate danger, we see him standing safely outside the flames with his fire resistance while Touya who's weak to fire burned on the peak. With Endeavor of course claiming 'he did everything he could'.

We also find out he harrassed Fuyumi into giving him Shoto's, his fucking masterpiece, number. Which he uses to text Shoto, in the middle of not just his workday, but fucking class hours! So much is wrong with this, this doesn't make him look good or show any atonement or redemption. What it does is make me think a lot less of both this excuse of a human being and his daughter (The start of her enabler arc). He's doubling down on past behaviour, quite stupidly I might add. And why the fuck did he need to get it from Fuyumi? Presumably, he's the one paying for the phone, he should just have the number from that!

Once again this man openly admits he only offered the work-study to Deku and Bakugou to manipulate Shoto. And constantly favors him when it comes to teaching. Understanding Deku's word vomit isn't difficult, even with him stupidly over-explaining it

What we don't see (or hear of) is him doing anything for or with Fuyumi, the only kid that wants anything to do with him (despite her character profile saying she resents him)

He is constantly given credit for shit he actively isn't doing!

But he and the narrative constantly throw him a pity party the second consequences are even hinted at. Not to mention he is also constantly rewarded for his (non-existent) efforts, Shoto chooses to work with him, Rei forgives him, Hawks, Burnin, Best Jeanist, etc are around to lick his boots clean and make sure he doesn't have to face any of those hinted at consequences. Boo fucking Hoo, the League (and specifically Dabi in this) deserved to win, and by the end, I was convinced that they would have been better for society

[readychilledwine]

Kissed by Fire pt 1

Summary - Amelia Archeron, the oldest of the made sisters, sacrificed more than her sisters would ever understand, and more than she would ever allow them to know. Now, they want her to sacrifice her one chance at happiness, too.

Warnings - rhysand is kind of a dick, signs of depression and PTSD, trauma, implied EDs, kind of poisoning

An - and we begin 💜

Part 2

Rhysand tapped his fingers on the desk next to Amelia, his eyes narrowed as the oldest sister stared out the window.

She had been the last to wake up. She was withdrawn from them, constantly sat in the cushioned window ledge and wiping tears from her face.

He had expected more from Amelia. She was supposed to be a rock, a strong influence, yet here she was, mind lost in her grief, in her confusion, her longing for their father. “You need to get up,” he commanded. “You need to stand on your feet and be strong for your sisters. They need you.”

Amelia sighed deeply, that familiar weight of being the oldest pressing down on her shoulders once again.

It felt like carrying the weight of the world. It felt like being forced to sacrifice her own health and happiness for her sisters again.

It reminded her of nights spent in a brothel laid beneath some man she had no interest in for a small amount of coin. It reminded her of hiding the coins with Feyre's earnings so no one would ask questions or ask if she was okay.

“If my adult sisters are making the choice to hide in a room and refuse to eat, how exactly would me going and demanding that of them make a difference?”

Rhysand rolled his eyes, scoffing at the question. “You never cared for them while you all were starving in that cabin,” Amelia flinched at the accusation. “The least you could do is pretend to care now.” She looked away from him as the first night spent in the whorehouse, handing her virginity away to a complete stranger twice her age came forward.

She didn't see Rhysand's face fall, his eyes becoming sympathy as you stood. “Right. I forgot about Feyre's pretty story of how she kept our family afloat.” The true sentence should have been, “I forgot she didn't know,” yet Amelia stuck to her self defense. “I will try. Do not expect me to join you, though.”

Nesta, Elain, and Amelia ate in silence in Amelia's room. If you could call what the three of them did eating.

Nesta pushed the food around. Elain stared out the window. Amelia sat there, shivering despite being the closest to the fire and in heavy wool socks and a sweater provided by the House.

She could feel a chill deep inside of her. Like the Cauldron had left a reminder deep inside of her of what happened. “Have you two been cold since-” she couldnt even finish the sentence, but she didn't need to.

Elain shook her head softly. “No, just. Lost.”

Nesta also shook her head before smiling sadly. “Have you tried to bathe yet?” Amelia paled at the idea. She had several times. Hoping the hot water would melt the ice settling in her veins and bones. “I had the same reaction,” Nesta sad softly.

Elain also nodded, tears streaming down her face, “It's like bathing takes me right back there. I cam feel it burning my skin all over again from how cold it was, I feel myself struggling to breathe, i-” Amelia silenced her younger sister with a hand on hers.

“Don't, little tulip. Don't talk about it unless you're ready to.” Elain leaned into her, closing her eyes as Amelia ran her fingers through her soft hair. “I'm sorry I can't fix this.”

Nesta smiled for the first time in a week. “You aren't a miracle worker, Lia. We don't expect you to fix it.”

Amelia's dreams that night had her transporting to a cabin. It was warm with a soft fire crackling in the background as she looked around. She could hear the voices of two males in another room. One was deep and smooth, although somewhat sarcastic as he spoke to a deep familiar voice. Shadows trailed through Amelia's fingers and the voices stopped. A door opening and footsteps coming towards her.

Amelia shot awake, her eyes adjusting to the darkness to a figure sitting on her bed. Rhysand had his hands holding his nose, his eyes glazed over slightly. “Do you know where you just were?” She shook her head, take a few deep breaths and then the tea he offered her. “I need you to drink that. You followed Azriel on a mission. In your sleep.”

He looked up sighing heavily. “You didn't fully transport your body there. Just your soul and mind. I need you to drink that so you don't do it again.”

Amelia sniffed it, eyes watering at how bitter it smelled. “What is it?”

Rhys looked at her, eyes cold as he distanced himself from what he was asking her to do. “It's faebane. It'll put whatever the fuck the Cauldron did to you to sleep.”

Rhys laid Amelia down, having watched her finish the cup and fall into a drug induced sleep. He sensed Azriel landing at the house and waited.

The Spymaster pushed Amelia's balcony doors open, looking between her and Rhysand. “How? That cabin is heavily warded to protect-”

Rhys held a hand up. “Amren is looking into it. Until we have an answer, we keep her on a low dose faebane to keep her powers locked down and quiet.”

Azriel looked at him, slightly shocked. “So poison her instead of helping her control it? Rhys, we know better than this. Her powers will eat her alive.”

“We will figure it out before than, Azriel.” Rhys looked at Amelia, watching as she shivered. “Did he have any ideas for helping her stay warm?”

Azriel nodded, pulling out a heavy sweater in a cream and another in burgundy, and then a soft fluffy pumpkin colored blanket. They reeked of cinnamon and apples, the fabric was unnaturally warm after having been enchanted. “He says we owe him.”

Rhys rolled his eyes. “Of course we do. The snake doesn't do a single thing unless it benefits him.” he took the blanket, thanking Azriel softly before tucking Amelia in and listening as she released a soft content sigh. She snuggled deeply into her new blanket, shivering stopping almost immediately. “Did he say what he wants?” Rhys moved her hair out of her face. Guilt eating him alive as he saw how peaceful she looked in this forced state.

“He'll call us when he's ready.”

Taglist : @justdreamstars @coralseacourt @kemillyfreitas @impossibelle

[leavemebetosleep]

Alright here's a short version of how I'd fix Bride of Discord. As a sort of mental editing exercise.

While not really a good fic for a lot of reasons, Bride of Discord actually has a lot of potential as a story. There's a lot of great imagery, and it has a lot of fic tropes I like and are fun to read. I actually would probably change less than some people would. (If your "rewrite" doesn't keep any of the original anything, it's not actually a rewrite babes)

It's just that a lot of stuff in it is maybe played from the wrong angle.

Also there's no saving the Applejack/Spike thing. That's just gross. I think you could keep a similar subplot, just change it so AJ's crushing on someone else. I like AppleDash, but RariJack would probably work the best here. Maybe in this version she's afraid to confess bc she thinks Rarity is straight since she's so femme.

As for the main couple, I think you could actually make the demanding a wife thing work, just have it play out differently.

Like, Discord is old. He spent a lot of time as a statue, and might not be up to date on modern society. Maybe instead of it being a VERY creepy request that screams "sex slavery" make his request explicitly a somewhat less creepy political marriage.

That was common back in his day, and he IS trying to make a peace treaty with Twilight. Being married to one of her people is a show of good faith, that she won't go back on her word, and he won't go back on his, as well as metaphorically uniting their kingdoms.

He doesn't care who it is, because he's not intending to fall in love with them. At best they're gonna be an extended house guest.

They can even point out that's dated and weird, but he can also counter he doesn't know how else to get a proper show of trust. He doesn't trust them with his own safety, but he does trust they won't go after one of their own.

That could also play into why he's so insistent they get married already. Fluttershy trying to avoid the marriage once she's in his kingdom makes it feel like he's being set up, and like the treaty is tenuous. Or maybe he's even suspicious that she's avoiding because the ponies don't plan to stick to their deal.

That could even factor int the climax, but I'll get there.*

Discord can be lonely, and he can still also be a little desperate for companionship, but I don't think that should be his reason for the marriage. Otherwise he could've just asked for a companion, not a wife. Plus, I feel like per-reformation Discord would be in denial about being lonely. I think he'd only start to realize how much he's been missing out on until AFTER he's gotten to know Flutters.

*So in the climax, Fluttershy declares she doesn't love him bc her friends are badgering her, and he gets creepy possessive and tries to hypnotize her and there's a fight and what-not.

Yeah, instead of that what if it's his paranoia that she's avoiding getting married because they plan to betray him coming to a head?

He hears Fluttershy say something to her friends that out of context sounds like they're going to blast him back into stone after all. So he's think she's a traitor who played him for a fool.

I'd nix the hypnotism, just have him and the six fight it out, and then he kicks everyone out before Fluttershy can explain because he's heartbroken and doesn't want anyone to see.

Lot of minor fixes I'd throw in too, cutting out plot threads that go nowhere. Less heteronormativity. Fixing a LOT of OOC-ness. A LOT.

Oh and I'd change Discord's backstory too. The Megamind rip off thing is meh, and I think Discord's a character you could do a lot more interesting things with that that.

As for Fluttershy, a huge problem I have with this fic is she lacks real agency. I want her to choose to go with Discord, not out of the weird sense of feeling she has to sacrifice herself. (It comes off, for lack of a better word, suicidal.)

Maybe instead, she chooses to go because despite her shyness, she's bold when it matters. She will stand up to him. She's not going to be afraid of him anymore. She's gonna tame him like every other wild animal she's had to deal with, and save her home in the process. She's going to come back. He can't keep her there if she really decided to leave.

Have her be the Fluttershy who tried and failed to use her stare on him.

Also, in the original I never at any point felt like she fell in love with him. Just that she gave up resisting his advances. She's always wary and hesitant to do anything with him. That's fine for the beginning of their relationship, but for this to be a good love story that has to change at some point.

Where's the moment she realizes she finds him a little attractive actually? He's weird looking, but he's so confident and funny and fun and that's really appealing. Where's the part where she's having fun and forgets she's a prisoner? Where's the real bonding? Setting boundaries?

Maybe she convinced Discord to let her friends visit, not because she's marrying him already, but because she convinces him to try to make other friends. And he does it, because he loves her already at this point. And she thinks if he and her friends could get along, they could work thing out. Maybe she was hoping things would go well so she could tell him she wanted to marry him after all.

Maybe she really did want her friends at her wedding, but also to be able to have her parents, her brother.

This last bit has nothing to do with the author's writing. This fic was originally written before the show ended, and we got a lot of lore afterwards she couldn't have known about. That's not her fault she couldn't see the future. But just for my sanity, I'd add in more cannon lore.

And uh. I guess that's all got with what I remember of it. Yeah.

[jacarandaaaas]

Mirabel Madrigal: A Character Analysis

Today I’m here to discuss all the attributes that make Mirabel Madrigal such a fantastical and magical character despite not having any magic herself. it’s all in her charm! I truly believe that Mirabel is one of the best protagonists! Shes such an endearing, sensitive, and strong character so I’m here to offer her some appreciation.

Right from the beginning of the story, one of the first things we learn about our protagonist is her mantra “make your family proud”. This phrase is Mirabel's driving motivation for the entire film and from what we can assume, her entire life. Mirabel makes it no secret that she is family orientated and she is full of pride for them, wanting to be like them and live up to the madrigal name. She introduces us to her family in a fun song praising each member. To her they are a “perfect constellation”. They are always her number one priority throughout the story as we see how she supports her sisters and encourages them to be themselves. One moment I feel truly highlights her love for her family is at the climax of the movie, whilst she consistently has shown what lengths she's willing to go to for her family this moment stood out the most to me. After her intense argument with alma casita starts to fall apart, at this moment everyone is yelling at mirabel to get out of the collapsing house but mirabel isnt thinking about herself. She's thinking about her family and getting the candle for them. What really stands out to me is Mirabel was willing to sacrifice her own life for her family, an eerie parallel to what Pedro did for them all those years ago.

Something that we learn about Mirabel immediately is that she's a go-getter, she's determined and persistent. What we also come to realize is that sometimes Mirabel doesn't realize when she's being overly persistent to the point of coming off as pushy to others. Both Julieta and Isabela point out that Mirabel has a tendency to “over do it”. We see how she wants to be useful in any way and she's taken up a variety of hobbies to prove this. Mirabel's incredibly creative doing everything from embroidery and sewing to playing the accordion. It's no secret she's talented but she always feels like she needs to do more. Upon overhearing Alma talking about the cracks Mirabel decides in that moment “I will save the miracle”. Instead of rushing in without a plan Mirabel knows Dolores would have intel due to her gift therefore she would know the most about the magic. It's also important to note that Mirabel decides to save the miracle before she even knows anything about the prophecy, she took it upon herself to do that! At breakfast when trying to get information from Dolores Mirabel decides to try complimenting her into it, showing early on how unintentionally pushy she can be. After breakfast she's no better, Mirabel is so determined to get answers that even when Luisa is working, she's pestering her. Mirabel is so overly focused on her mission that she can’t see Luisa gradually becoming more frustrated. “Luisa will you just tell me what it is!”, she’s frustrated that Luisa isn't giving her any information but she also seems hurt that Luisa doesn't trust her enough to tell her. Showing how Mirabel desperately wants a better relationship with her sisters.

Mirabel is so persistent in getting information about the magic that she causes luisa to snap at her. When climbing Bruno's tower Mirabel perseveres, as she forces herself up an unusually long flight of stairs and is exhausted by the end of it. Yet Mirabel persists because “I need to do this, for you for abuela”. She's so determined in fact to find this vision that she almost dies, twice. Mirabel doesn't care about the risks, she's aware of them but it doesn't deter her. She's willing to look at the situation about Bruno from a different angle than everyone else, questioning “what if you didn't understand what he saw?”. Mirabel's entire verse in “we don't talk about bruno” is just her pressing for the truth, she wants the whole story not just one perspective and she's driven to discover it. We've already established by now that Mirabel's persistence can be dangerous and this holds true once again as she chases Bruno through the walls and almost falls into a chasm, in pursuit of answers. Bruno tries to leave but she still pursues him, no way she's leaving without an answer or multiple answers to her many questions, she also cleverly pieces together here that it was actually Bruno who's been patching the cracks all along.

Pushy Mirabel is back in full force when she gets the idea for Bruno to have another vision to which he’s not enthusiastic about and tells her no. But Mirabel’s no quitter and her sole focus in the moment is her mission, to save the miracle. So when Bruno tells her he doesn't do visions anymore, Mirabel casually replies “but ya could!”, another instance of her being too focused on her goal that she doesn't take into consideration how Bruno would feel about this. She has no bad intentions and like with Luisa earlier Mirabel is unaware how she sounds. She tells Bruno “our family needs help and you need to get outta here” and as she realizes how broken the family truly is, she's more determined than ever to help them. Even when bruno tries to give up during the vision Mirabel encourages him to keep going to find another perspective “something we’re not seeing?” she ends up inspiring Bruno with this viewpoint. Before she goes to confront Isabela Mirabel tells Bruno “after I save the miracle I’m bringing you home” showing how that's now become part of her mission. As Isabela reveals a massive secret Mirabel instead keeps pressing for that hug she assumes will solve all their problems, once again she's so focused on her mission she isn't paying attention to Isabela’s revelation. Mirabel's determination and persistence is admirable but it's also a character flaw for her as we see she often takes it too far unintentionally.

One of Mirabel's most noticeable traits is her optimistic outlook. She's full of energy as she dances through the town singing about her family and whilst we know she's insecure, her enthusiasm towards her family and home is completely genuine. Mirabel is a true extrovert as we see how much she loves interacting with her community and wanting to help in any way she can. We see how she's always trying to see the bright side. Mirabel is optimistic and bright but even she has her limits and can't be optimistic all the time, as her song tells us she's truly not fine. However despite all her pain she still chooses to be optimistic, to be loving and to be hopeful.

Arguably the two scenes I believe emphasize her optimistic nature the most are when she helps Bruno through the vision and the final song of the movie. During the vision Bruno is deflated, he doesn't believe in the idea and Mirabel simply offers him some words of encouragement “you can do this”, she's already showing Bruno that she has faith in him, something Bruno isn't used to. When he fails to see anything other than what was shown in his last vision Mirabel begs him to keep trying, she's always looking for a brightside and she ends up finding it. As for the final scene, when returning from the river Casita is still a pile of rubble in front of them, Mirabel however sees this as an opportunity. To rebuild casita with better, stronger foundations and a chance for the family to build stronger foundations too, “look at this home we need a new foundation”. Mirabel really grows into herself as she leads the rebuilding efforts with her persistence and optimism, inspiring the whole family to view things from a different perspective.

An underrated trait for Mirabel is her humor. No seriously she's hilarious! humor is shown continuously to be one of her coping mechanisms along with her optimism. Whilst she is funny Mirabel is also incredibly snarky particularly towards her older sister Isabela, she can come off as slightly judgemental at times, very teenage of her. Her jealousy peeks through during the opening song, but towards the end of it when she runs into Mariano she not so subtly disses Isabela (as Isabela is walking by) “between you and me she's kinda a primadonna”. Unlike the better disguised insults at the beginning mirabel is not even trying to hide her disdain towards isabela this time. This continues directly after the song as she goes back to casita, Isabela gracefully descends on her vines and Mirabel’s expression is hilariously unimpressed. When Isabela notices her she tells her to stop trying so hard, we see Mirabel actually seems upset by that comment but as soon as Isabela looks back at her she masks that sadness as she bites back “actually Isa this is called helping and i'm not in the way you are”. We also see her mock Isabela as previously mentioned, unable to hide her disdain towards her. Mirabel's humor as a coping mechanism is emphasized when she's climbing Bruno's tower, giving us a half assed reprise of “the family madrigal” and of course one of her most iconic lines “BRUNO YOUR ROOM IS THE WORST!!”. Mirabel is also incredibly petty, my favorite example of this is not only her rolling her eyes during Isabela’s solo verse of “we don't talk about bruno” but also how Isabela tells her during that “hey sis I want not a sound out of you” and Mirabel who was silent until this point starts singing immediately out of spite.

She's also slightly judgemental when she first encounters resident wall man Bruno Madrigal. She's weirded out by him and her face does not hide this, “how long have you been back here?” with that concerned tone also didn't help her case. Although in this case who could blame her for that reaction? It's not everyday you find your estranged uncle in the walls of your house. Mirabel is not thrilled when the vision reveals she has to hug Isabela, so much so that she begins ranting about how she hates her and gives us a line nothing short of pure gold. “She's the one with flowers coming outta her-'' Bruno had to remind her to keep it pg! Even when mirabel is meant to apologize to Isa she can’t resist making a snarky comment about her older sister “I’m sorry that your life is soooo great!” this ends up spawning an argument between the two in which Mirabel unceremoniously yells out “some of us have bigger problems YOU SELFISH ENTITLED PRINCESS!” which is quite a humorous moment but also really shows Mirabel’s jealousy towards Isabela. As Isabela admits a very huge secret Mirabel’s reaction is one of complete sarcasm “that is a very serious confession” despite empathy being Mirabel’s strongest trait somehow her hatred for isabela overpowers it.

Mirabel as a person is incredibly selfless, this is both good and bad in her case. Whilst caring about others so much is admirable like how mentioned previously Mirabel can go too far, putting her life on the line multiple times! In one movie! One of the first examples of her selflessness is shown during Antonios gift ceremony. Antonio is incredibly nervous and calls out to her saying “I need you”, it's already a hard night for mirabel in general as people have been reminding her “last gift ceremony was a bummer”. However despite already finding it hard she knows Antonio needs her and she walks him to his door taking a deep breath, pushing through her own traumatic memories to support her favorite cousin. This scene is incredibly admirable to me as it takes a lot of courage to force yourself to relive the worst night of your life for the sake of supporting someone else. Here it's an example of mirabels selflessness being a positive trait and not a dangerous one.

Hey you know what's a great combination with being selfless? Being reckless!! Unfortunately for mirabel we can also add stubborn to the mix. Which makes for an ultra combination of self sacrificing nature and putting her life in danger! Brunos room is a scene that truly highlights these traits, especially recklessness. Mirabel throws herself across a giant chasm using rope from the fencing around her and whilst her resourcefulness is impressive it's still incredibly risky. Which ties into her selflessness! Mirabel has very little regard for her own safety and is willing to die in that vision cave if it means she helps the family. Almost suffocating to death in sand just while trying to get the vision shards. Mirabel also throws herself across a chasm twice, the second time isn't as dangerous but initially it looks very dangerous. Mirabel knows it's dangerous and still recklessly persists. Once again revealing how little regard she has for her own safety.

Arguably the biggest case of Mirabel's selflessness is when she tries to save the candle as the house is crumbling around her. This was also her most reckless act of the whole movie as she ignores everyone yelling at her to save herself, she covers the candle and not her head when the debris is crashing down on her. Really highlighting just how little she cares about what happened to her in that moment, valuing a candle over her own life. As selfless as Mirabel is, there are also times she like anyone else, can be selfish. Mirabel herself is aware of this as she says to herself, “for you, for abuela… maybe a little for me” she sounds almost embarrassed by the fact part of her motivation for saving the miracle is proving herself, even if it's only a tiny part. Other moments she can come off as selfish is when she's pestering Luisa about the magic and being dismissive, as well as when she dismisses Isabelas revelation in favor of getting a miracle saving hug. Whilst technically Mirabel isn't being selfish here as she's doing everything for saving the miracle, to others she seems selfish. Another trait Mirabel has is stubbornness and this is really highlighted when Isabela is around. Possibly Mirabel's most stubborn moment of the entire movie, is when Isabela asks her to apologize. Even though Mirabel knows that doing this will help her save the miracle she can't bring herself to give a sincere apology.

I think something that is less talked about than it should be is Mirabel's guilt and tendency to blame herself. A scene that I feel truly highlights her guilt is when Bruno tells her that he left to protect her. Mirabels responds to this saying “you left to protect me?” and she almost sounds in disbelief at this realization. The look on her face here is also one of deep concern, whilst she appreciates that he would sacrifice so much for it also reinforces a thought that had always been on her mind. That she was the cause of all this, that Bruno left due to her own failure, whilst we know this is untrue I strongly feel Mirabel believes this. After all, Bruno did disappear the same night as her gift ceremony. She feels guilty that Bruno left because of her even if he tells her it was for good reason.

A smaller example of Mirabels tendency to blame herself is when she tells Bruno “I ruined her proposal”, whilst mirabel had part in ruining it she was also trying to prevent disaster and ultimately she played the smallest role in ruining Isas night, yet Mirabel still believes it was entirely her fault. The biggest moment for Mirabel's guilt is right after Casita falls, the candle goes out after Mirabel almost gives her life to save it. Believing it's entirely her fault she runs off when nobody is watching.

Mirabel's rock bottom moment is when she's by the river crying, feeling like she's ruined everything and doesn’t know what to do other than to let out all of her bottled emotions. It's important to note that whilst there’s many points she comes close to crying, this is the only time we actually see her let the tears fall. When Alma discovers her Mirabel's reaction is to apologize, “I'm sorry I didn't wanna hurt us, I just wanted to be something I'm not”, again placing all of the blame on herself when the entire family is at fault for casitas collapse. I find this reaction interesting as during the climax Mirabel blames Alma in her anger but when her attempts to save the miracle fail she believes it’s her and her only to blame. This is also incredibly sad as it just shows how riddled by insecurity Mirabel is.

Throughout this story Mirabel is a person ruled by her insecurities, she lacks self esteem and confidence in general. However she's great at faking it and a prime example of this is the opening song, “the family madrigal”. A fun, upbeat tune but the entire song happens because of Mirabel's insecurity. As the children are asking her questions about her gift Mirabel responds with “I can't just talk about myself” and deflects into talking about her family instead. Her love for her family is entirely genuine but she puts on a facade to hide her own insecurities from everyone else, overcompensating to make up for what she lacks. Hidden in the lyrics of the song are her real feelings of worthlessness and jealousy, this especially shows in lines that refer to her two older sisters. When telling the kids about Isabela she sings “grows a flower the town goes wild'', there's a clear sarcastic tone to her voice. This instantly introduces us to Mirabel's envy of her oldest sister and the strained relationship between the two. Her envy is strongest when she sings “she's the perfect golden child” with such longing, illustrating how she actually seems to admire her sister as well as resent her. When she's describing both sisters she sings “the beauty and the brawn do no wrong” implying that she unlike them does do wrong. As the kids pester her more and more her insecurities only grow stronger and she's desperately trying to avoid the question, “I never meant this to get autobiographical”. She stays true to her word and successfully avoids talking about herself for the entire song. At the end she's so desperate to get out of the situation and hide the fact she has no gift that she sings “my family's amazing and i'm in my family so”, trying to convince herself more than anyone else that she's amazing by association.

There's little instances where her insecurity comes out such as when Osvaldo points out multiple times how un-special she is, he turns away for a brief moment and mirabel's painfully strained smile drops before she slips back into her act effortlessly. She also tries to act like this insecurity doesn’t affect her, a great example is when Alma tells her to step aside and nods in response but her expression is pained. Mirabel is hiding her problems from everyone else, even lying to herself. We see just how deep her insecurities go as Alma only tells her to step aside from the decorations but Mirabel interprets this as to stay away for the whole night, so when the whole family is out in the crowd she hides behind the curtain. When Alma tells Antonio that he got “a gift just as special as you” it forces Mirabel to remember when those very same words were said to her, and her smile fades away, her insecurities coming out. Most obviously, her insecurities are on full display during her solo number, “waiting on a miracle”, if you’re interested in more about that song I have a waiting on a miracle analysis !

The song starts with Mirabel pushing down her feelings as usual telling herself she's fine and she shouldn't be upset because the night isn't about her. In the song Mirabel refers to her pain as “unspoken” and “invisible”, displaying how she's not only been lying to everyone around her feelings but also to herself. When Mirabel tries to explain the cracks, Julieta doesn't seem to believe her and Mirabel believes it's because she “might not be super strong like Luisa or effortlessly perfect like senorita perfecta Isabela”. Whilst she's coming from a place of envy she's also speaking from insecurity here, believing that the only reason she isn't being taken seriously is because of her lack of a gift. When Julieta still doesn't believe her Mirabel appears to be hurt by this refusing to open up to her mother. Until she meets Bruno, Mirabel has actively been repressing all her insecurities and focusing solely on her mission. However when she realizes how similar she and Bruno really are, she's comfortable enough to fully open up about her insecurities for the first time. She admits her greatest fear and gets emotional about it, proving just how repressed those feelings are. When it's revealed in the vision she has to hug Isabela Mirabel starts ranting about how Isa hates her and seems like she has no faith in herself that she's able to do this.

One moment that truly highlights her insecurity is when Alma blames her for everything and she finally admits in front of the family that she feels she will “never be good enough for you”. A sharp contrast to Mirabel's denial at the beginning of the movie. In this moment, Mirabel has the courage to stand up not only for herself but for the entire family. Whilst we seen in previous scenes she can defend herself “I’m not doing anything! It’s Bruno’s vision”, here she fully commits to calling alma out in front of everyone. Whilst it’s painful for Mirabel to do, we see her come to the realization that this conversation is necessary. “He loves this family, I love this family we all LOVE this family!”. After this argument Mirabel is heartbroken and so insecure to the point of running to risk her own life just to prove something, anything to her abuela. Her character arc comes full circle at the ending of “all of you” when she looks at the doorknob and finally acknowledges herself for who she is, no longer a person controlled by her insecurities but one who's willing to challenge them.

Empathy & emotional intelligence are what I believe to be Mirabel's biggest strengths as a character. They’re often traits I see people try to argue make her weak, but I heavily disagree, I believe these traits are what make Mirabel such a resilient character. One of my favorite scenes in the whole movie is one where Mirabel's empathy truly shines, when she finds Antonio under her bed. This scene happening so early in the movie yet being so intimate and gentle instantly made me love Mirabel as a character. Her demeanor in this scene is so warm and loving. She knows Antonio is nervous about turning out like her yet she pushes her own feelings aside to support him, “you're gonna open that door and it's gonna be the coolest ever I know it”. This also showcases another strong trait of Mirabels, her emotional intelligence. She's able to gauge that Antonio is scared and needs comfort and she's willing to offer that to him. Antonio is still doubtful, questioning if it doesn't work and once again Mirabel reassures him, referring to the scenario as “impossible”. It's a very cute scene that sets up Mirabel and Antonios relationship. Mirabel's empathy shines here as there were many moments she could have made this about herself but she chooses not to. Other instances of Mirabel's recurring empathy are when she hugs Luisa offering her comfort ,some of her interactions with Bruno as well as when she empathizes with Isabela during their song. During “what else can I do”, Mirabel is able to admit she was wrong about her sister saying she barely knew her but Isa “changed” her mind, realizing that she finally understands Isabelas perspective.

A key scene for me that demonstrates both Mirabel's empathy and emotional intelligence is the “dos oruguitas” scene. After Alma shares her tragic past with Mirabel, despite Mirabel being upset, her reaction to Alma's story is an empathetic one. She tells her abuela “I can finally see” showcasing how similar to isabela, Mirabel finally sees her grandmother's perspective. Her emotional intelligence shines here as upon realizing the truth behind Alma's actions, she changes the words she spat so venomously during their argument. Stating that they were saved because of Alma and given a miracle because of her, she also tells her abuela that “nothing could ever be broken that we can't fix together” highlighting Mirabel’s growth and emotional maturity over the course of the film. Once again, as mentioned in the scene with Antonio, Mirabel had every opportunity to make this moment about her own suffering but she instead acknowledges Alma's feelings and offers her a chance to rebuild their relationship. Perhaps even the chance for forgiveness in the future.

These traits display for me what makes Mirabel such a well rounded and memorable character. Despite her flaws I adore how mirabel has always had her family's best interest at heart. She learns and grows a lot throughout this story and to me her flaws are what make her more interesting to follow and her flaws dont take away from her many positive traits. She's not a perfect protagonist, she's just a good person trying to help her family any way she can. She’s unapologetically loving and empathetic and willing to do anything for her family. To quote Stephanie Beatriz herself: “ I think one of the greatest things about this story is that she dares herself to go on that journey. I think that is so special because its telling an audience many of them impressionable young people, that by daring yourself to believe in yourself, you could possibly become the hero of your own story.”

[torchwood-99]

I've seen theories for why Elfhelm helped Eowyn sneak into battle, ranging from "he was in love with her" to "she blackmailed him". I don't care for either of these theories, and considering Tolkien never indicated either of these possibilities, and they would have had to apply to Elfhelm's eored as well considering they took kept quiet, I think the most logical conclusion is they kept silent because they respected her.

That said, I do headcanon that while Elfhelm would have been inclined to help her anyway, his resolve was hardened by Hama's plea.

Hama, who had watched Eowyn watching over Theoden all those years, Hama who knew best all the sacrifices she made, Hama, who had to stand there and hear Theoden throw aside everything Eowyn had done for him, and remind him that Eowyn was of his house beloved by everyone, knew that if he perished in battle, her brother probably and her uncle definitely would not be able to understand her heart and her suffering, nor her potential.

And so before riding into battle, her begged Elfhelm, on the event that Elfhelm lived and he died, that he would help Eowyn, so much as he can.

Elfhelm readily agrees, because he loves Eowyn as much as anyone, but he doesn't know precisely what Hama meant by "helping her", until Eowyn came to him at Dunharrow and made he request, and Elfhelm realised that deep down he always knew what "helping Eowyn" meant, and that while he had his reservations, he had already agreed, as a part of him always knew he would.

That she wants to bring a hobbit along was a surprise though.

[innershoesuitcasebiscuit]

When I watched One Piece with the 1000+ episode I thought I wouldn't be able to finish it. The odd thing is that when I watch other anime or k-dramas, tv series from HBO, even though they have lesser episodes I would get bored and just skip it till the ending. But in One Piece even the Opening Song I dare not skip it. This is why the One Piece is GOAT. I didn't even skip any filler arcs 😂😂😂.

However this post is not actually me gushing about how far I have come in One Piece.

Now we head straight for the main topic:

Upon seeing the scene where Sabo met some of the crew in Kyros house. I've got this enlightenment regarding a certain scene in Thriller Bark arc.

Remember this? Robin eavesdrops on the conversation Sanji has with Lola's crew. Curiosity is Robin's nature after all, she's curious as to why Luffy has recovered miraculously while Zoro is in worse condition. Her curiosity I think stems from the worries she has for Zoro, I think on her mind she has this question 'what happened?' , 'why did he become like this?' . I mean at this point Robin cares about her crew mates unlike before when she first joined.

But this scene might connects with the scene in Dressrosa arc.

After seeing this scene you can see that Zoro is alerted by Sabo's presence and ready to take him down but caught off-guard when Sabo threw the booze to him.

He was just caught off-guard, he didn't lower it. The booze is also not a peace offering from Sabo to Zoro. Remember Sabo can take Zoro head to head. Sabo is not weak especially now that he has Ace's DF.

I think that Sabo gifted Zoro the booze as a way to thank him for the sacrifice Zoro has done at the Thriller Bark arc and the loyalty shown by him.

Also after they've done talking Sabo gave Zoro, Luffy's vivre card.

Now the question is why not give it to Franky? Or Robin? Which was closer to him. Why trust a person you've just met when there's someone you have known for two years.

The reason is within those two years time skip. Robin might have been the medium why Sabo held a debt and trust towards Zoro (with him paying that debt with a booze and giving Zoro the vivre card). She might have also told Sabo about the events at Thriller Bark especially what she has heard when eavesdrops on that conversation that Sanji has with Lola's crew.

Well I think this is enough. I would also like to gush out with my shipping but I'm holding it in for now. I'm going to enjoy watching and reading One Piece first before rewatching it again to drown in my ships.

I'm holding my Zorobin heart for now 💜💚.

But just for a freebie: I don't think Zoro would lower is guard even if you gave him a booze. Zoro's first priority is Luffy and at that time Luffy was still in a bad condition. He lowered his guard though when Robin shouted Sabo's name.

Notice the way he stands straight when he asks Robin "You know him?"

[d1xonss]

Desert Rose

Chapter 20 ~ Stay

✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Rose

✧ Era : Season 2

✧ Word Count : 4.1k

In this chapter ~ After Rose makes her choice to part from the group, Daryl quickly finds out, leaving him in a state of unbelievable shock. But he doesn't let her get very far before he tracks her down through the trees, needing to find the right things to say to her to get her to stay.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* DARYL POV ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After the conversation I had with Rose, I needed to leave and cool off. When I didn't respond, it's not because I didn't want to, but because I didn't want to say something that I would regret later just because I was frustrated. That was the last thing she needed. She was hurting after what happened with Sophia, shit we all were. But my patience was thin right now and I didn't want to take that out on her.

I walked all the way out to the field and sat down on the grass, beginning to pull some pieces out of the ground and started to play with the tiny blades in my fingers. Sitting there silently with my mind running through everything that happened in the past few days. I found myself growing more and more frustrated every time I thought of a sacrifice one of us made for a girl who was already dead. We had all tried so hard, and for what? For it to end up shitty in the end like it always seemed to.

My mind then wandered back to Rose; like it always seemed to as well. Even though everything has been pretty terrible, she was always able to make me smile somehow. I thought back to the small moments we've shared recently and just the thought alone brought another small smile to my face. I had been trying to convince myself that I didn't have feelings for her, hell I've been trying to do that since the beginning. But I did, I liked her. I liked her a lot.

She made me feel different. I had never been with anyone before this, just a few one night stands that I didn't give a shit about. But I had never cared this much about a woman before, ever. The thought crossed my mind, being with Rose, but I didn't want to ruin what we already had. I had managed to build up some kind of friendship with someone that I actually trusted for the first time in my life, and the last thing I wanted was to make the wrong move. Or even worse; push her away somehow.

But my thoughts quickly stopped short once I heard someone call my name from just behind me.

"Daryl!" Maggie's voice called out.

I turned around right as she approached me, with a book held in her hands, "Do you know where Rose went? I wanted to give her this book since she hasn't been liking the one she's reading, but she took off too fast earlier." she finished with a laugh.

I dipped my head in a nod, "I think she's in my tent, I'll go tell her." I replied.

"Great, thanks." she said before turning back on her heel to walk towards the house.

I quickly got up to my feet and started to make my way back to the camp that I had set up a little farther away from everyone. To be completely honest, I don't know why I did it. But I guess a part of me understood Rose's need to be away, because I went and did the same thing without even realizing at the time.

As I finally made it up to the yellow tent, my hand went instinctively to just unzip the entrance, but I stopped myself and shook my head, clearing my throat so she could hear me.

"Rose?" I called out softly, warning her that I was about to come in.

I didn't hear anything, so I slowly unzipped the tent only to find that she wasn't in there. After scanning the small space, I was going to head out to look and see if she was at the house now, but something stopped me in my tracks. I noticed quickly that all of her stuff was missing and there was a note sitting next to my stuff with my name written across the front, a Cherokee rose placed conveniently right next to it. My heart began to sink to the pit of my stomach, but I still sat down and opened the note to see what it said, for all I knew she could be going out for a hunt. But in the back of my mind, I knew that wasn't it.

Daryl,

I wanted to leave you this note because I felt terrible not giving you at least somewhat of an explanation, so here it is. I left.

After what happened to Sophia, something just clicked. I realized how attached I became to this group, and that isn't a very good thing for me. I was on my own for a very long time before this and you know that, it's not easy for me to depend on people or get close to anyone in general but it happened. And I hate to admit it, but it scared me.

I care about all of you so much it hurts, but it's best for everyone if I leave. I don't want to watch anyone else die, I just can't do it, please understand that at least a little. I believe that most of you will make it, but in case I'm wrong...I don't just want to sit and watch like we all did today.

But I don't want you to think that it was easy for me to leave, because it wasn't. It was harder than I will probably ever admit out loud, and it was even harder to leave you. I care about you so much Daryl, you have no idea. But I have to do this, I can't stand back and watch what happened to Sophia potentially happen to you too.

Maybe this isn't goodbye, I'm actually hoping we cross paths again one day.

But until then, see you later Daryl Dixon.

-Love, Rose

I stared at the note with wide eyes, reading the words very carefully over and over again as if they would somehow change. She couldn't leave. In hindsight, maybe I could understand why she would want to but that isn't a good enough reason. Not now. She had turned into such a valuable member of this group and everyone here cares about her so much. I couldn't let her go. She had no idea how much I needed her to stay here.

So, without thinking, I grabbed my crossbow and rushed out of the tent to look for her. It was dark now so she would be harder to track, but I didn't care. I needed to find her. I had no fucking idea what I was going to say to her, but I had to try and convince her to stay somehow. She needed to understand that she didn't have to push people away anymore, at least not me. I would always be here for her, I wasn't planning on leaving her anytime soon, and I wanted her to know that. She needed to know that.

It didn't take very long before her footprints became more prominent in the mud, and I knew she was close by. I only took a few more steps in between the trees before I saw her walking a good distance in front of me, her backpack strapped tightly around her shoulders.

My foot then came down harshly as I purposefully stepped on a branch so she would hear me behind her. She whipped her head around as soon as the sound registered, with one of her knives raised, looking around on high alert. Her eyes scanned all over the trees, but she was unable to see me in the dark as I had apparently hidden myself well. I found myself huffing out a breath before finally stepping closer so she would be able to spot me clearly. Her eyes then landed on me immediately after that, her face dropping as she slowly lowered her knife and sighed to herself.

"What are you doing here?" she asked me.

I scoffed, "What am I doin here?" I asked, "I get a letter from ya, sayin yer just takin off and you didn't expect me to come after ya?"

She looked at me for a long moment, before uttering another word, "I have to leave Daryl, you know that."

"Nah, I don't know that. Make me understand, why do ya have to leave? Why now after everything?" I asked.

"I have to leave because I don't want to watch anyone else die. I can't." she frowned, tears now forming in her eyes.

"But that's a part of life, whether it's the end of the world or not, yer gonna lose people. Yer actually losin them all in one go right now, do ya realize that?" I asked.

She immediately shook her head, "No, that's not the same thing. At least I know you guys are alive."

"Well, what's the point if we're alive or not, if you ain't ever going to see us again anyways?" I asked with edge to my tone.

I didn't want to get upset with her. But she hurt me by leaving, thinking I was just going to shrug it off when in reality, she clearly didn't know a damn thing about how I felt. She just stood there for a few moments in silence, like this had turned into some kind of face off and her move was the next. A part of me was just waiting for her to run, but she didn't. She stayed perfectly still in the same place as her tearful eyes never broke away from mine.

But she eventually sighed to herself with a shake of her head, finding the right words, "I'm sorry I hurt you, I can tell just by the way you're looking at me. But you have to understand I-" her voice cracked, and the tears started to roll down her cheeks, "I can't watch you die too." she finished with a whisper, as if she was terrified to say it out loud.

My face softened almost on instinct hearing her broken voice, and I took a few steps closer to her. I wanted to reach out and wipe her tears away, hell take all her pain away, but I didn't know if that's what she wanted right now. But she didn't back away from me, which I only took as a good sign.

"I ain't gonna die. I don't plan to anytime soon." I assured her.

"Yeah, you don't plan to, but anything could happen. For all we know, anyone could die tomorrow." she stated.

I stared at her for a few seconds before muttering, "Don't."

"Don't what?" she whispered, tears running down her face.

"Don't go." I said softly.

She looked me in the eyes before hanging her head in defeat with a soft breath, and I could tell she was tired and emotionally exhausted after the day we all had. All I wanted was to reach out to her, hold her close as she cried but I obviously hesitated.

But then suddenly for once, I didn't think. I didn't let my mind linger on the "what ifs," I just acted fast before I talked myself out of it.

I gently grabbed her face in my hands so she would look at me, taking my thumbs and wiping away the fresh tears that spilled down her cheeks. She didn't pull away like I thought she would, but only leaned into my touch which made a warmth fill my chest.

"Please," I spoke quietly, "Please just...just stay."

She looked like she was having an inner debate with herself. I knew deep down I couldn't force her to stay if she really wanted to go, but I wanted to try. My mouth opened slightly to say something else, but the potential outcome made me close it again, fearful of the unknown. There was no going back if I were to say the things I truly wanted to say, but maybe those were the things she needed to hear. The things that would get her to stay.

"Stay...for me." I finally spoke.

Her eyes widened slightly, and I was preparing myself for her to pull away from me, but she never did. Instead, she only started to lean closer, which made my heart start beating rapidly, so fast that I thought she would be able to hear it. My mind was on autopilot as I found myself leaning closer too, her hands came up gently as she placed them on my forearms, while mine still held her face. My eyes flickered down at her lips and then back up at her eyes to make sure she was really okay with this, silently asking permission. To my surprise, she nodded her head ever so slightly, and I hesitated for only a moment, before finally closing the space between us.

It was soft and slow, but soon our lips started to move in sync as she leaned in further to kiss me back. I felt electricity flow through my entire body just at the feeling of her soft lips against my own, her hands only pulling me closer. I didn't want to stop, not ever, but I didn't want to push anything either, so I pulled away after a few seconds, resting my forehead on hers with a wide grin on my face.

"I'll stay." she whispered against my lips before kissing me again.

I smiled into the kiss, moving my hands down to her waist, pulling her impossibly closer to me. Her arms wrapped around my neck, starting to tug a little at the hair on the back of my head, the feeling practically ignited my body on fire. At first, I could've sworn that this was a dream, but once I felt her touch, I knew that it wasn't. It couldn't have been.

I had never felt these things for anyone before, but I'm just glad I was feeling these things for her. In the back of my mind, I knew I wouldn't feel this way about anyone else because how could someone be more perfect than her? It wasn't possible. And her saying just those two words to me, made me happier than I ever thought I could be.

She then broke the kiss after a few long moments, with another smile on her face, "I didn't think you felt the same way." she breathed.

I gazed down at her and only chuckled quietly, "Woman, you have no idea." I spoke, causing her to smile bashfully as I pecked her lips once more before saying, "C'mon, let's head back."

She nodded her head and pulled away from me, slowly grabbing a hold of my hand and intertwining our fingers together. As we walked back, we started talking like normal to fill the silence, teasing each other a little bit about whenever we would get nervous around each other before. And I was pretty sure I had never been happier.

When we started to see the house coming into view, I suddenly stopped as I saw the group standing around the house, pulling her to stop with me. She looked at me confused and I only hesitated for a moment, not fully sure how to say what I wanted to say. I didn't want to hurt her, but I didn't know if I was comfortable telling the others about our relationship yet. Wait, were we in a relationship? I had no idea, but all I knew is that I wanted to take things slow, to make sure I didn't mess anything up.

"What's wrong?" she asked me in a soft voice, brushing her thumb against the back of my hand.

I shook my head quickly, "Nothin, it's just..." I trailed off, not looking at her.

I then felt her give my hand a gentle squeeze, causing my eyes to look back down towards her, "Talk to me." she said.

I sighed, "I dunno how to say this. I don't wanna hurt ya or anythin."

She smiled sweetly, "Daryl, you're not going to hurt me, just say it."

I sighed again and nodded to myself,  "Okay, uh... I wanna take this slow, and um... I dunno if m' comfortable with showing off... whatever this is."

To my surprise she let out a small laugh, shaking her head lightly, "That's it? Daryl, it's okay. If I'm being honest, I don't really know if I want to show off well...whatever this is to the group either."

I let out a breath of relief and squeezed her hand. She then let go after a few seconds, "I'm just going to go put my backpack in the tent and I'll meet up with you, okay?"

I nodded my head and watched her smile at me once more, before turning around fully to walk off. My eyes lingered on her figure for longer than they needed to, but I couldn't seem to look away even if I tried. Though once she was finally emerged into the darkness, I began to slowly make my way over towards the others. I couldn't believe any of that just happened, wanting to convince myself that I was still dreaming somehow, but oh it very real.

As I got closer to the group, I saw most of them standing outside the house arguing with each other. I stood off in the back, not saying anything as I listened and watched everything go down. Apparently, the guys weren't back with Hershel yet and Lori had gone after them, crashing a car and almost getting herself killed in the process. I thought that was a stupid move but I still didn't say anything as my arms crossed over my chest.

"Hey, what's going on?" I heard Rose ask, her figure coming up to stand next to me.

I couldn't help but smile down at her when she walked over, watching as her brows furrowed more with confusion as she listened. I kept my eyes on her while she got filled in on everything that had happened since we were gone, before suddenly feeling someone staring right at me. My eyes glanced over to see Dale looking at me somewhat knowingly, with a smug expression. I just glared back at him, and he raised his hands in surrender, but still didn't wipe that stupid smile off his face.

"Look, I had to get you back here, okay?" I heard Shane snap at Lori, "I will go look for them, I will go after them. We just have to make sure you're okay, alright? Gotta make sure the baby's okay." he suddenly spilled.

My eyes got wide when he said that, looking over at Rose who didn't look the least bit surprised as she too heard the news. She made eye contact with me and just shrugged her shoulders, showing me that she already somehow knew about it.

"You're having a baby?" Carl asked her in shock.

Lori didn't say anything, utterly speechless, but Andrea quickly stepped in "Let's get you checked out, okay?" she said softly as she led the woman into the house.

Almost all of them made their way inside after them, clearly wanting to know more, but Maggie surprisingly hung back. Her eyes panning over to Rose as she looked over at the two of us expectantly, her eyes full of suspicion.

"Where have you been?" she asked worriedly.

"Oh, I was... just out hunting." Rose replied quickly.

"In the dark?" Maggie questioned.

She nodded slowly, "Yeah, I just needed some quiet." she said simply.

"Oh, okay so where's the meat?" Maggie asked as her eyebrows pulled together.

Rose stood there for a second dumbfounded, "I didn't catch anything, kind of a waste of time." she finally said.

Maggie glanced over to me and then back to Rose before I heard a small "mhm" from her. I felt my cheeks get hot as her gaze was intense on us, but she didn't say anything else as she turned to head into the house as well. Once she was finally out of earshot, I then looked over at Rose with my eyebrows raised, seeing a nervous smile make its way onto her face.

"You went huntin? That's the best ya got?" I asked playfully.

She scoffed and rolled her eyes, "Whatever. Would you rather me say, "Oh sorry Maggie, I was trying to leave the group and then Daryl came, we made out, and then I decided to stay," is that better?" she asked with a hand on her hip.

I smirked at her, "Nah."

"Yeah, that's what I thought." she muttered before turning around and starting to make her way back towards the tent for the night. I had almost forgotten how late it got, but I soon followed close behind her, feeling the tiredness slowly taking over.

Once we both got inside, the two of us separated onto either side of the space, getting on top of the sleeping bags for the night. I laid down on my back with a groan, staring up at the ceiling momentarily before I subtly glanced over at her again. She too was laying down on her back, her eyelids falling more heavily with exhaustion, but she still could not have looked more beautiful.

My mind thought about moving over and wrapping my arm across her shoulders to sleep, but I made no effort to move. Apart of me was still fearful, even after the both of us confessing the feelings we felt for one another, that she would still move away to have her own space.

A quiet sigh left my lips as I debated back and forth in my head, but apparently it wasn't as quiet as I thought as her head turned towards me in question.

"What?" she whispered quietly in the dead of night.

I shook my head, "Nothin." I muttered as I glanced back up at the ceiling, avoiding her eyes, "Yer just...a little far away, that's all."

My eyes stayed firmly in place as I tried my best not to look back over at her, the fear of rejection still creeping up the back of my neck it felt like. But then I suddenly heard her let out a small laugh, before there was some shuffling like she was scooting closer to me. I then felt her presence only inches away from me now, her head falling on my chest gently as a smile was brought to my face at her actions.

"Is this better?" she asked sarcastically.

I hummed a response as I nodded, not that she would be able to see, before resting my chin on the top of her head. I held her tightly to me as I rested my eyes, content with the contact though I was nervous I wouldn't be. It was a nerve-racking thing for me to admit out loud, but I hadn't felt such a gentle touch before hers, and I was nervous I wouldn't be comfortable with it because of the past. Yet somehow with her, it was different. Almost as if I craved it.

But my eyes popped back open as a thought entered my mind, not wanting to breeze over the fact that Shane announced something worth talking about for more than five minutes.

"So, ya knew Lori was pregnant?" I asked out of the blue, glancing down at her now.

"Mhm." she hummed as she moved to look me in the eye, "Glenn told me the same time he told me about the walkers in the barn."

The second our eyes locked, I became very aware of how close our faces were now and I tried to swallow whatever nerves I still had. Not being used to something like this. Though she noticed quickly and had a smirk on her face before leaning up and placing a gentle kiss on my nose. I felt my heart leap in my chest, and she laughed quietly to herself at how red my face probably was.

I tried to recover quickly, clearing my throat a little before asking, "Well, do ya have any more secrets I should know bout?"

She thought about it for a second before a small smile returned to her face, "I like you. Have I told you that?"

Another familiar warmth filled my chest as I watched her eyes sparkle, "Yeah." I muttered, "I think you mighta mentioned it." I smirked before leaning in, placing another kiss on her lips.

She hummed in content, kissing me back for a few seconds before pulling away and resting her head on my chest again, closing her eyes. Before I knew it, her breathing had changed and I knew she was asleep within merely minutes. But I just sat there thinking, no longer as tired as I was before.

Today was a shitshow, but also a pretty great one too. I thought to myself, if I didn't have Rose with me right now, I didn't know how well I would be handling the loss of Sophia. But she somehow helped keep me keep my head attached to my shoulders, and that's exactly what I needed. Just her.

~ Thanks for reading!

(They’re finally together ahhhh)

[mielwriting]

Would I enjoy Honkai: Starrail?

So I was just thinking how between Genshin and HSR, it's a shame that I don't see of the dragons being women (Genshin has Apep, but she's not playable and we don't even know what she looks like when she's not covered by a sandstorm so I'm not sure she counts) and then I find out Hsr is getting a new character, Lingsha, and she's a dragon!

Maybe this is what finally convinces me to sign up. But as interesting as the lore is, I'm not convinced. Below are some things I'm concerned about, and would like answers to before I get sucked into another gacha game:

I didn't play Honkai Impact or any of the previous games. I'm vaguely aware of some white-haired (robot? I think?) lady named Kiana who vaguely resembles Genshin's Unkown God and ascends to be some sort of cosmic deity herself. I'm also aware of some red-haired lady who died in some sort of tragic sacrifice, and I think there's an item of hers on display somewhere in hsr as an easter egg. And the Herscherr of the Wind (whatever that is) Wendy, Venti's counterpart, died too. But besides that, I have no context. Without having played previous Honkai games, would I be incredibly lost, even if I got caught up on the limited-time events that I missed?

I've heard Hoyo favors Hsr, and it's better in storytelling: for example, the Trailblazer is more plot-relevant than the Traveler, and unlike Genshin, hsr playable characters are actually standing around the map as npcs, and the player can interact with them, even when there's not some quest that just finished. And that the map feels more alive because of that. Is that true?

I love open-world games. Never before have I played something like Genshin. In a lot of games I'm used to playing, you have to stay on the specific path that's relevant to the main story. You cannot climb on top of that house. You cannot even walk into the forest off the path. Genshin, however, lets you go everywhere. Who cares if it's relevant to the plot? You can climb on top of that house, you can go to the top of that mountain. Most of the time, there's a chest up there or an achievement for making it that high up. I'm told hsr is not like that at all. The Trailblazer can't even jump. Would I still enjoy it? How limited is the exploration exactly?

I also love Genshin's representation of queer and disabled people, both in npcs and in playable characters (admittedly some of it is subtext). There's Arlecchino and Zhongli with their gender fluidity, there's Wanderer with his trans allegory, there's Venti who was described as non binary to the voice actor, there's Lyney and Gorou and Furina and many others who wear a bit of the opposite gender's clothes, there's eimiko and kavetham and beiguang with all of their subtext. There's Dunyarazard and Collei and Baizhu who are chronically ill, there's Chiori and Albedo and Alhaitham who are probably autistic. Etc. I've heard Firefly is disabled (chronically ill with a curse or something?) and I know Ratiorine is a popular ship (I'm attached already). But how close to canon is all that? Are there lots of queer and disabled characters?

I also love secret identities as a trope. My favorite archons are the ones who spend their time pretending to not be archons. I love Kaeya's angst about secretly having been sent as a spy, and Albedo secretly being not-human who may be forced to kill everyone he loves, and how both of them may or may not be scared of the Archon, and yet the archon in question seems to like them. Love that drama. Are there characters with similar Secret Identity drama in hsr?

I love the religious themes and how one theme central to Genshin's story is how gods (and god-adjacent non-human characters) are still people, with flaws and fears and basic social needs. It's sweet. Does hsr have similar themes of divine beings being human at heart?

I also love the escapism of Genshin -it's bright and colorful, both in marketing and in the open-world itself. Also, there's no internet or cell phones or anything. I know that if you pause hsr, whatever character you're currently playing as pulls out their phone. I've heard Penacony compared to the tourist areas of Las Vegas (derogatory). It looks so grey. Is hsr truly so much more grey and modern compared to Genshin? Is it just as escapist?

I feel a similar amount of freedom in Genshin's combat system. I'm told Hsr's system is turn-based, and you the player barely have to press any buttons during those moments. Would I find that fun?

I don't need another gacha game, and I definitely don't have the same amount of time to devote to hsr and I already do genshin. But still, I'm hoping for people to prove my misconceptions wrong.

[hrizantemy]

Day 8 of ACOTAR Games: This or That

Who is the worst sister?

Nesta: For “letting” Feyre hunt (It’s all I remember. I am not biased. Please, add to this list as you please)

Elain: For doing minimal (or nothing) when Feyre hunted and Nesta handled the household. For betraying Nesta when the Inner Circle decided to imprison her.

Feyre: For framing Nesta as a villain with Tamlin and Rhysand/Inner Circle. For exerting control over her sisters when they become homeless because of her wars. For confining Nesta because it reflected poorly on Feyre and the Inner Circle. For letting Cassian punish Nesta with the hike when he had no cause to interfere.

Your contenders: @litnerdwrites @fenrysmoonbeamswife @gwandas @positivelyruined @yaralulu @umthisistheonlyusernamenottaken

On penalty: @achaotichuman

Thank you for your love. As for the answer, I don't think I have ever been so moved to replace and live a character's life before, but I have been intrigued by some worlds though. I am not sure if this counts — I once wrote a draft where the characters move across worlds and the FMC has a certain curiosity about the world where she views everything and everyone with naive appreciation. It was completely a subconscious choice but it made me break from my usual realist perspective. It isn't something I can embody in my life unless I actively seek out. Maybe one day it will come naturally to me but that was a good experience.

Looking at it objectively, the “worst sister” in A Court of Thorns and Roses depends heavily on perspective. From Feyre’s viewpoint, Nesta appears to be the villainous sister—someone who was cold, aloof, and seemed to care little for the sacrifices Feyre made. Given their strained relationship, it makes sense why Feyre would see Nesta in such a negative light. However, Feyre’s actions often reveal a desire to punish Nesta, whether she’s aware of it or not. For example, confining Nesta to the House of Wind and letting Cassian enforce the hikes were more about Feyre’s sense of control and how Nesta’s behavior reflected on her and the Inner Circle than about helping her sister heal.

Still, I lean towards Elain as the worst sister when considering all sides. Elain did very little to support Feyre when she took on the burden of providing for their family and seemed content to let Nesta handle the household while she remained in her own world. Later, Elain’s betrayal of Nesta during the Inner Circle’s intervention feels particularly cruel, especially given how close the two once were. Despite Nesta’s flaws, Elain’s lack of support and her willingness to side against Nesta in that moment stands out as the most disappointing.

Elain’s actions throughout the series are perplexing, especially when considering her knowledge of Nesta’s upbringing. While she might not have been privy to the full extent of Nesta’s trauma, Elain certainly knew how their mother had treated Nesta growing up. She was well aware of how their mother’s neglect and emotional distance shaped her sister, making Nesta feel less than loved and often abandoned. So, when the Inner Circle decides to imprison Nesta, forcing her into a situation where she’s stripped of agency and independence, it’s difficult to understand why Elain would be okay with it, even if she didn’t know the full depth of the consequences.

At the very least, Elain should have recognized the trauma and emotional scars that Nesta carried, knowing how that neglect impacted her. To watch Nesta be further controlled and manipulated by the very people who should have supported her, and not speak up or try to protect her, is deeply troubling. Elain’s passivity is almost as damaging as active betrayal in some ways. She could have taken a stand, as she’s done for herself at other times, but instead, she allowed the Inner Circle to treat Nesta in the same oppressive way their mother had—using her without truly understanding her needs.

It’s especially hard to grasp when you consider Elain’s own trauma, the way she struggles to understand her own identity after being fae-ified and being emotionally distant from the family. You would think someone who has been through their own personal upheaval would empathize more with Nesta’s suffering and fight to protect her from further harm. But instead, Elain’s complacency leaves Nesta vulnerable to the very same kind of manipulation and control that she endured in her youth.

I know I might get hate for saying this, but I really think Elain is incredibly selfish and self-serving. Nesta stood by her side for so long, even when Elain was too absorbed in her own world or dealing with her own issues. Nesta was there, scared for her sister, worried that Elain might spiral out of control, even fearing that Elain might throw herself out of a window. Nesta’s love for Elain was unconditional, despite how neglected she herself felt.

But when the tables turn, and Nesta isn’t doing well, Elain’s reaction is nothing short of cold and dismissive. Instead of showing the same care and concern Nesta once showed her, Elain treats her as though she’s just being difficult or stubborn. There’s no acknowledgment of how deeply Nesta is struggling, how much pain she’s in, or the emotional trauma she carries. It’s as if Elain can’t see past her own desires and doesn’t understand that just because Nesta is difficult or distant at times doesn’t mean she’s not hurting. The very person who Nesta was willing to protect and support through thick and thin doesn’t extend that same kindness when it’s Nesta’s turn to need help.

It feels like Elain has this attitude that as long as she’s okay, then everything is fine, but when it comes to her sisters, especially Nesta, it’s almost like she expects them to just deal with their problems on their own. It’s heartbreaking, really, because Nesta was always there for Elain, but when it’s time for Elain to show the same support, she falls short. It’s hard to ignore how selfish that feels, especially when you realize that Elain had the chance to make a real difference for Nesta, to show her sister the same love and care that Nesta so often gave to her, but she didn’t.

If the Inner Circle (IC) had treated Elain the way they treated Nesta, there would have been an absolute outcry. The entire situation would be seen as unforgivable, and people would be demanding justice for her. Elain, who is the “gentle” one, the one who’s more passive and often the least involved in the conflicts within the group, would be seen as a victim of the IC’s manipulation and control. The outpouring of support would be massive—Feyre would likely be rallying to her side, demanding that Elain’s autonomy and choices be respected. The same people who praised the IC for their actions toward Nesta would be the first to criticize them if Elain had been treated the same way.

Imagine if Elain had been the one locked away or confined to the House of Wind. There would be no question about whether she “deserved” it, no blame placed on her for her struggles. Instead, people would have sympathized with her, understood that she was going through something profound, and would have fought for her freedom. The fact that Elain is generally seen as the “nicer” and “more innocent” of the sisters would make her treatment by the IC feel even more heinous, and there would be widespread anger at how they overstepped their boundaries.

The IC’s actions toward Nesta are often justified in their eyes because of Nesta’s rough exterior and her resistance to their attempts to “help” her. But if it were Elain—soft-spoken, kind-hearted Elain—who had been treated this way, their decisions would be scrutinized and condemned by almost everyone. There would be little tolerance for imprisoning her or forcing her into such a helpless position. People would see it as an abuse of power, a betrayal of the trust Elain placed in her family and friends.

In a way, it highlights the hypocrisy in the way Nesta’s suffering is handled. If it were Elain, she’d be afforded the space to heal, to be understood, and her actions would be met with compassion. But because it’s Nesta—someone with a sharper edge, who doesn’t immediately fall in line—she’s blamed for everything and treated as though she’s difficult or undeserving of that same kindness and understanding. It’s a glaring double standard that underscores just how much the IC has failed to protect and care for Nesta in the way they would have for Elain.

I genuinely feel A Court of Silver Flames (ACOSF) was a poorly written book, and it seemed like it was retconned so much from the earlier ones in the series. The characters’ growth, especially Nesta’s, felt inconsistent with how they were portrayed in the previous books. Nesta, in particular, was treated as a completely different character, and her emotional arc seemed rushed and forced, rather than a natural progression from the events of A Court of Frost and Starlight or the earlier books. It felt like the book tried to reframe her struggles and make her a more sympathetic character, but the execution was sloppy and lacked the depth it should’ve had, especially after everything she went through.

What’s worse is how much it seemed to disregard the character development that had been carefully built up in the first few books. There were moments where the narrative blatantly ignored the complexities of characters like Cassian, Azriel, and Feyre, just to push a new plot point or force a resolution that didn’t feel earned. The dynamics between the characters were off, and the book just didn’t have the same careful planning that the earlier ones did.

Honestly, I feel like Sarah J. Maas doesn’t care about the quality of the work anymore. It’s clear that the focus is more on making money and keeping people hooked into the series than creating a well-crafted story. She knows the fanbase will keep reading regardless of the content’s quality, and she can churn out books that will sell based on the established world and characters. It’s frustrating because, when she was writing Throne of Glass, there was so much care put into the story and character arcs. But with ACOSF, it just felt like a cash grab—relying on the popularity of the series rather than the strength of the writing.

At this point, it feels like Maas knows her readers will continue to support her work no matter how much the quality drops because they’re emotionally invested in the characters and the world she’s built. But for me, it’s disappointing to see how little attention was paid to continuity and the overall craft of the book, especially when the earlier installments were so much stronger. It’s all too clear that she’s aware people will keep reading, and that’s all that matters now—churning out more books, making more money, and keeping the fanbase hooked.

I can totally understand how you can’t always embody that mindset in your real life unless you make an intentional effort to, but the fact that you experienced it so fully in your writing shows just how powerful the act of creation can be. Sometimes, stepping into a character’s shoes, even subconsciously, allows us to touch parts of ourselves that we might not otherwise be able to. I think it’s a really valuable experience, and who knows? Maybe one day, that perspective will come more naturally to you in your own life too. I’m sure that draft was an amazing journey to write, and it’s cool that you’ve had this insight into how fluid and adaptable your creativity can be.

[risualto]

So I was talking, like I said, to @bragganhyl earlier about my boy Montgomery, and man...I don't talk enough about the fact that he's bisexual, but especially that he's bisexual in a specific way that makes him probably not very palatable to the internet.

Like. Okay, so here's this boy who was born to a noble house in a society where your worth is determined by magic, and he doesn't have any magic. No natural talent, no trainable skill; he literally cannot do magic no matter how hard he tries. So, because of this, he's become virtually useless to his parents as an heir except maybe as a tool for marriage, which would have to be to a woman (because there are no members of the nobility who are trans in his society--those who are fled for a better life well before feeling safe enough to come out).

Montgomery has one (1) friend growing up. One person in the whole world who is on the level with him in terms of social standing, so not having to navigate systemic power imbalances, and who is around his age, and who still cares about him despite his lack of magic (because the boy doesn't have any, either), and this person is also a boy, named Aesir. They go through everything together--every birthday, every playdate, every outing, every meeting, every lecture from their nursemaids when they get into trouble, even every scolding from their parents because they'll share everything with each other eventually. Montgomery barely has a concept of what romantic love is, but he knows very certainly that Aesir is his person, his best friend, his partner, the person Montgomery always wants at his side.

And then they turn 16, and Aesir commits the ultimate betrayal by making a warlock pact, turning to outside forces to gain magic, without telling Montgomery. He keeps Montgomery completely in the dark, shuts him out, and rips out half the bond they share, because now Aesir can do magic and Montgomery still can't. Because warlock pacts are sacrilege. If Montgomery and Aesir were nothing without magic, now Aesir has made himself the Hells incarnate, and Montgomery doesn't know whether to be in awe of his bravery or to hate him for leaving him behind. So he lashes out and rips what's left of their friendship to shreds as soon as he has the chance, because it'll hurt less than being reminded everyday that now he's not the same as the other half of his soul.

It's not until years later, after Montgomery has met a girl who leans on him as if he could be the pillar of something instead of the dust in the corner, that Montgomery realizes Aesir was his first heartbreak. It's not until he has the words to know that he's falling in love with the woman that girl has become, that he even starts to accept that maybe she's not his first love at all. And in the process of learning to love Lorelei, he learns to love himself enough to accept the place in his heart that belongs to Aesir. Montgomery still asks his friends to help him try to save Aesir from the power that cursed him, when it would be easier and probably safer for the many to simply sacrifice the one. He agonizes over whether he's the one who's betraying his friend by choosing Lorelei, whether it's fair of him to move on from the pain when Aesir is literally being eaten alive by it. He still hides from his friends, and it takes him half a decade to admit that what he felt for Aesir was even in the same vein as what he feels for Lorelei. There is always a part of him ashamed to be as fascinated by the male form as the female one, to know that it wouldn't have mattered at all what Lorelei looked like and he would have fallen for her in the end, regardless.

Montgomery's first love was a boy who he couldn't be with for a dozen reasons that were "more important" than his gender, a boy who broke his heart and who Montgomery moved on from, but ultimately chose to love platonically in the end, and then he married a woman who society would have accepted in the first place for literally all the reasons his first love "shouldn't" have been. He lives most of his life as a symbol of how the old ways of the nobility were wrong, because he becomes their greatest leader without an ounce of magic inside him, but he never brings his sexuality into the public eye. Not once. It definitely keeps him up at night sometimes wondering if he's betrayed his identity by following his heart.

[captainaikus]

So when I said a ditzy girl for Sae I meant someone clumsy and dense! I feel like a lot if what I’ve read is a more sound person but I want someone that bugs him and he’s annoyed with But still falls for & it irks him that she’s so oblivious? Basically someone he falls for first! I love the other ideas you’ve picked for him too. I would LOOVE a false south sequel honestly, idk what would come after and if he’ll miss her but I’ll literally eat up anything :p I HAVE MORE IDEAS FOR SAE TOO LOL

Omg sorry for the third note lol but I had an idea for a prompt with Sae: 1. Accidental pregnancy - I know he’s too careful for this but still I wana see how he’s react. 2. A divorce with Sae - you tried but he hasn’t changed and it’s time to end the marriage .. maybe they have a kid to complicate things? 3. Childhood friends Sae had a thing for but bc of the falling out with Rin, she’s disgusted by him - basically unrequited on Sae’s end. Ok that is all for now LOL

Sae is arrogant as he is rational, and sometimes he would find your behavior illogical, wondering why you were smiling around him or why your expression broke from being serious to a lovesick little puppy when he came into your sight. It doesn't make sense for someone to be so happy around someone else, not to mention your rushed actions that seemed rash and done without a thought. There were times when you frustrated him, test tube slipping out of hand and falling to the floor or days where you'd forget your pencil case or notes, wanting to borrow things from him instead. Going on car rides annoyed him when you sang the lyrics all wrong and wondered if anyone had ever told you about your voice cracking or the fact that your words sounded similar to gibberish than the lyrics that were written and released. His actions soon turned loving, a passive expression on his face yet hand moving to place the seatbelt across your torso when you forgot about it; placing your order at a coffee shop, remembering the things you were allergic to and watching the barista make your beverage, his sight not moving an inch. his actions are subtle but caring, while you were oblivious a cheerful "thank you" coming from your lips as you took the coffee from him, the milk foam making a mustache. "Is there something on my face?" you asked, watching him stare at your lips intently. leaning forward from his laid back position he grabbed a tissue, one hand holding your face while the other wiped away the remains on your upper lip. "Can't take a ditz like you in public or anywhere." he muttered, making you pout. Yet, he still remembered your coffee order and held your hand to cross crowded roads. 1. Accidental pregnancy - Sae would take responsibility for it, understanding that it took two to tango and he was responsible just as much as you were; first tries to calm you down when you begin to panic and cry, shushing you while caressing your head while rocking you back and forth. He'd be distant at first since pregnancy and child birth are new concepts to him, but knows that it is totally worth it when he feels the squeeze of his baby around his finger; realizing that he was ready to sacrifice things he hadn't ever thought of for the sake of the little one in his arms. he'd be a good dad tbh 2. Divorce with Sae - He treats it like a joke when you bring it up, brushing it off his shoulder with a 'Mhm Hm... you'll be here in the morning anyway-" Until it wasn't when your things were missing in the house including the keys to your car that were on the table. He tries calling you to fix things but you don't knowing that things would be the same and he would never change. Signing the divorce papers is something he is reluctant to do, not wanting to put you out his life until you showed up, standing with a clenched jaw. 'It is not working out, Sae.' 'I have tried to provide with you with everything you want and need, yet it is always you, you and you. My life in line for your career. I can support you, but I won't give any more of my life for something that you're obsessed with.' After signing the divorce papers, he still visits the building where you have your new life, staring into the dimly windows of your house; sometimes even coming to your workplace during the day but always turning to leave when the lady at the reception called out to him, asking if he wanted to visit you. 'No thanks.' is all he would say, opening the glass doors to leave

3. Childhood friends falling out - You were there the night Sae had shattered Rin's dreams, watching them in the playground. There were times when you thought if your decision for cutting off ties with him were done on an impulse. 'How could you say that to him? Do you know how hard he has been working to make you look at him?' you yelled, each word becoming louder than the last. 'With that kind of hard work, he belongs in a fucking third grade football team. With what he has shown during the time I have been gone, he doesn't deserve to set foot on the world field. If there were other players here, he would be crushed; consider it a blessing that I did it for him.' he said simply, turning his back to you. 'You are not the same.' you said, voice turning into a whisper. There were times when you had accompanied the duo, watching them play and sometimes keeping up with them a smile on their faces still burnt into your memory. 'People change. Yet the two of you have remained the same.' he said. 'Pathetic.'

Venomous words were exchanged that day, neither did the two of you do anything to repair it; your bond deteriorating day after day until you had become strangers. It wasn't until one day when you had been assigned to interview him that the two of you had seen each other again. Trying to take as much of a relaxed position as possible, you finished the questionnaire, grabbing your things to leave. "Thank you for your time, Mister Itoshi." you said, turning to leave when he caught hold of the sleeve of your coat. "Coffee." he said, eyes trained on your quizzical expression. "Let me take you out for one." he said. Despite time, it was easy to tell that this wasn't going to be ordinary outing but one where you would skip time and know everything about him, learning to understand, accept, forgive and forget. One evening... where you would no longer be strangers.

[xerith-42]

That AU where Aphmau blows up (PT2)

Me with my rewrite: I want all of these characters to talk about the things they feel and be allowed to feel happy for once!! They've earned it!!

[immediately turns around and writes even more heart wrenching angst]

Fair warning, this post is loooooong and kinda jumps between scenes. I had. A bit more to say.

Content Warning for suicide mention

Unlike everyone else, Aaron had actually slept through the night on the island. Aph had made him promise to get some extra sleep when she saw how tired he had become recently, usually due to overworking himself to keep the island alive and growing. He wasn't posted on any kind of watch shift, he didn't feel anything suddenly when she died, but there was a feeling when he woke up.

A sort of familiar dread. The feeling of birds taking off before a disaster, but he didn't know what disaster they could be flying from. Or if he should follow their lead. Just that when he finally stood up, he just had this feeling. He couldn't place why. At least not at first.

It was when he stepped into Aph's house that he could tell something was… wrong. Both Aph and Lilith were missing. Panic started to fill him instantly, and Aaron desperately fought off memories of his previous family as he raced through the alliance island. He hoped that he was just over reacting, that Aph had taken Lilith to Phoenix Drop or at least somewhere that people knew where they were. He was probably just being paranoid.

Doubt was almost instantly replaced with dread. When Aaron got to Phoenix Drop proper he knew that he was right. He wasn't just being paranoid. He could see Zoey walking towards the tree house with Lilith swaddled in her arms. Aaron could only feel a tinge of relief that she was at least okay. He could tell just from the look in Dante's eyes that Aph was dead. That kind of mourning was far too familiar.

"What happened?" He asked carefully, his body tensing to try and fight the oncoming wave of emotions.

"There was an explosion in the forest, shortly before sunrise," Dante began, taking a deep breath to keep his voice even. He had already done enough crying when he got home, he had to keep himself together in front of others. "Garroth was there, but Zane and Aph… weren't."

"D-Did she leave anything behind?"

"Her diary, which Garroth has. And--" Dante reached into his armor and handed Aaron a folded page. He unfurled it and could once again feel his heart sink as he read over her words. She knew. And he should have known she would do it. It's in a lords nature to sacrifice themselves no matter how foolish it is to do so. "I'm sorry--"

"Don't." Aaron took a steady breath, read the letter over again, and then handed it back to Dante. "I'll go make sure I can move in with Lilith and look after her."

"Right. Let me know if you need any help with that." Aaron just nodded, moving past Dante and pulling the bandana out of the pocket of his cloak. He wasn't sure how much longer he'd be able to hide. Given the pitying look Dante gave him, he wasn't doing a very good job in the first place.

Though Dante's concern was nothing compared to the look of complete despair in Zoey's eyes. They were blood shot, and she had clearly been crying, but even when she wasn't she looked completely miserable. A weary smile spread across her face, but it was quickly replaced with the morose look she wore before.

"I-I'm sorry for taking Lilith without saying anything," She began with a teary voice. "It was just the first thing I thought of when I heard the--"

"It's okay," Aaron answered simply. "Thank you for looking after her." He grabbed a guitar from the weapon stand. Most weapon stands had them now, and it was a top priority to have musical instruments at the ready. Aaron was one of the people who pushed it most. "The little one will be cared for."

Lilith let out a small giggle, reaching for the end of Aaron's bandana as he leaned over her and pressed a kiss to her forehead. He settled back, sitting next to Zoey as he tuned the well loved instrument. [Insert Flowers on the Battlefield here]

The moment Zoey heard the familiar notes she couldn't stop her tears. She tried in vain to wipe them, to hide them from Lilith, but there wasn't much she could do. Aaron himself was only able to hide behind his bandana, but it didn't do a lot. The melody just reminded them of good times, and the crushing defeat of those times being taken away so suddenly.

Nobody knew where Garroth was at first. Travis assumed he'd be at Aph's house, but the place was hauntingly empty. It was from the top of the hill that he could not only hear Aaron's guitar, but he could see Garroth down at the docks, trying in vain to tear out old planks of wood. It was the first time Travis had really gotten a look at Garroth, especially without the armor. He looked… So sad.

He at least wanted Lilith to hear the song one more time. To remember the sound that could so perfectly encapsulate her mother and her impact on those around her. Even if she would never get to properly meet her.

Garroth's head jerked the minute Travis was close enough to notice. Travis nervously held his hands up as a sign of peace, which Garroth just turned away from.

"Hey," Travis said awkwardly. "I'm Travis."

"I guess you already know my name," Garroth replied, refusing to look at him.

"Look I--" Travis held back the urge to put a hand on Garroth's shoulder. "I'm not great at emotional stuff. And I know we really don't know each other, but I-I knew Aph, and I knew Laurance, and they both told me a lot about you. I thought I'd… I don't know." Travis took a shaky breath. "Sorry…"

"Aph was always better at the emotional talks, wasn't she?"

"I wanted to see if I could do anything for you." Travis stepped so he was standing next to the man. "Could at least get that splinter out."

"Yeah." Garroth let out a sigh, tearing another board out and groaning as a splinter slipped into his finger.

"Is there something you wanted?"

"It's not worth worrying about." Travis let out a small sound, almost a laugh, which made Garroth finally look up to meet him eye to eye. Some part of his heart ached at the sight of Travis' bright green eyes. They were almost the same color as Laurance's when Garroth met him. "What's so funny?"

"Aph once said that was one of the phrases she hated the most. That she was tired of her friends and guards saying that to her, because she wanted nothing more than to look after everyone, ensure we were all doing okay at the very least." Travis took a deep breath, hoping that this would be the right move. "She said it was one of the last things you had said to her before running away."

"I was a fool to let Zane get the better of me."

"From what I heard, sounds like you didn't have a choice." Garroth raised his eyebrow. "That companion of his, with the mask? She knew mind control, you really didn't have full control over yourself once she got into your head."

"H-How do you know?"

"I knew the minute Aph described the mask to me. It's something my mother warned me about." Garroth let out a small chuckle, followed by nearly full blown laughter as a tear forced its way down his face. "D-Did I--"

"No, you didn't do anything wrong." Garroth let another tear slip out. "I just, I never knew for sure. I couldn't quite tell what my own thoughts were and what she or Zane wanted me to think. I was worried it was my own foolishness entirely that doomed my friends."

"Well, that's a bit dramatic." Garroth laughed again, almost incredulously.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Sure, you messed up pretty badly, but it wasn't entirely your fault. And even if it was, it hasn't all been bad." Travis gestured to the Phoenix Settlement. "That village is making a real comeback, and it's only getting better every day. And if it weren't for those 15 years, I might not have met everyone." Garroth glanced over at the elder tree that stretched out across the skyline. His arms ached at the memory of her weight in them. He wanted nothing more than to hold her close again.

"B-But she…" Travis awkwardly held a hand out to Garroth, who just stared at it. Travis simply placed his hand in Garroth's and took a deep breath.

"Look, I didn't know Aph half as well as you did, but I do know that she wouldn't want you to blame yourself for this." Garroth turned away, swallowing down further tears. Travis squeezed his hand, before pulling away. "I'll give you some time to yourself. Let me know if you ever need anything." Travis turned, and it was only when he was a few steps away that Garroth finally spoke.

"Thank you," He whispered. Garroth knew he was alone after that, letting him take a step back, and then sit on the part of the docks that wasn't falling apart. His eyes drifted to the diary tucked into his bag. Was there… A page looked out of place. Garroth reached forward and pulled on it, pulling out a fairly worn piece of paper, one that he could tell just from a glance was stained with tears.

Garroth and Laurance,

Oh no.

I know what I'm doing is especially unfair to you two. We all fell in love together, and I wish we could grow old together. There's a chance we still could. But there won't be a chance if Garroth can't be there with us. So I have to bring him back.

Laurance, I can't even imagine how you'll feel. I really wish there was another way, but I can't have anyone else, especially you, sacrificing themselves for something I want. If I could make you do one thing, I'd make you promise not to run away. Please, don't leave him. Please.

Garroth, I'm so sorry. I truly wish there was more I could say to express how much I currently miss you, and how much I'm going to. But you deserve to have a life, to see the way the world has changed because of your bravery, and you deserve to have your chance at a redemption I don't think you need.

I love you both.

"What is wrong with you?!" Vylad roared as he grabbed Laurance and nearly threw him to the ground.

This one wasn't signed. It didn't have to be. It was stained with tears that belonged to more than its writer.

"Ow! The fuck-- Vylad?!" Laurance groaned as he threw off Vylad's grip. The two were just at the edge of the cursed forest, not too far from the borders of Meteli. "What are you doing here?"

"Telling you to go back to Phoenix Drop!"

"I-I can't! Vylad, if I go back there I don't know if I'll be able to control myself."

"You learned to control yourself around her, you can do the same for him."

"I don't know if I can! I couldn't live with myself if I killed him!"

"If you don't go back there he might kill himself!!" Laurence froze. His breathing started to pick up.

"Wh… N-No, Garroth wouldn't. He's stronger than that--"

"He's always been at his strongest with the people he loves at his side. One of them is dead and he thinks it's his fault, and the other ran away from him before he could properly grieve. I doubt many could survive."

"Then why are you here?! He's your brother!"

"Because I don't know my brother. It's been almost 20 years since the last time I saw him face to face, I-I don't know nearly as much about him as you do."

"And what if I lose control? His blood would be on your hands."

"If I don't get you back to him now then it definitely will be." Laurance backed away, his head starting to ache as voices clashed within. The calling was jumping at the idea of going back to him, and Laurance hated that he was going to agree to it. But he had to. If Garroth died without him, because he left… He couldn't even entertain the thought.

"How are you holding up?" Katelyn glanced up at Lucinda, who had just placed a cup of tea on her bedside table.

Laurance took off, shortly followed by Vylad.

"How do you think?" Katelyn bit back. She instantly regretted it when she saw the hurt look in Lucinda's bloodshot eyes. "S-Sorry. That came out… Harsher than I intended."

"It's alright. I'm unfortunately familiar with some of the feelings around this."

"So am I." Lucinda sighed, leaning back and taking a sip of her own tea. "Is that how you're handling it so well?"

"Handling it well? Katelyn, if I didn't have a silencing glyph on my room you would have heard every miserable tear I shed last night." Katelyn frowned at the almost calm look on Lucinda's face.

"Why are you trying to hide it then?"

"Everyone's grieving right now. No need to saddle anyone else with my baggage."

"Like I said, I've got some myself. Why not let me lighten the load?"

"Are you sure?" Katelyn sat up a little more, leaning against the headboard of Lucinda's guest bed.

"I may not know you that well yet, but I know you cared about Aph. I think we all have that in common. Might as well care about her and mourn her together, right? It's what she would've wanted."

"She did always like bringing unlikely people together." Lucinda let out a sad sigh, setting her teacup aside. "During those fifteen years you were all gone, I lost my dad. I-I wasn't sure if everyone was dead or not when you all disappeared, but I saw my dad in his final moments. I held his hand as he passed… I suppose I'm not even sure Aph is dead until I see it."

"You still think she's alive?"

"There's a nonzero chance. Though it could just be a desperate ploy to deny the truth."

"That's what it sounds like to me, sorry."

"No need to apologize. You're probably right. Suppose her dying without assurance has made me think she could do it again."

"She always did have a new trick up her sleeve. I wouldn't put it past her." Katelyn let out a shaky sigh. "Just wish she hadn't done this in the first place."

"You and me both."

"I used to feel the same way about Jeffory."

"Jeffory?"

"An old friend of mine. He and I were in the Jury of Nine together, and he was the only person I could trust for a long time. But then he risked his own life to save Aph, and when he died, I had to know why. I had to understand why he decided this woman was worth risking everything we had built for." Katelyn's hands clenched into fists as she fought tears. "I understand why he did what he did now more than ever."

"Levin!" Malachi called out as he entered their home. "Where are you?" His response was a sniffle from upstairs. Malachi groaned. In spite of his body being younger, he still felt 900 years old, and sometimes just climbing the stairs was exhausting. He found his brother curled up in the window of his room, his music box coming to it's end as Malachi across from him in the windowsill.

Lucinda felt the words she wanted to say getting caught in her throat. She understood exactly what Katelyn was saying, but she had no idea how to respond to it. So she thought about what Aph would do. She reached her hand out to Katelyn, and interlocked their fingers. Katelyn glanced down at their hands, back at Lucinda, and then she smiled. Both of them were clearly on the verge of tears, a hair trigger away from another grief induced meltdown, but for that moment they smiled.

"How are you so okay with this?" Levin asked, his voice laced with an unusual amount of bitterness.

"What in the name of Irene makes you think I'm okay with this?" Malachi replied with an almost too soft tone.

"I-I've barely seen you cry. When Dante told us, all you thought about was making sure everyone was okay, making sure we could repair the damages. Don't you care about her?"

"Of course I do. I know you were young, but I saw mom when she was a lord. She always acted in the interest of everyone else, ensuring everyone's safety before her own. I knew that's what she would have wanted. I thought you would understand that better than anyone."

"It's what we lords do..." Levin sniffled again, a tear pushing down his face again. "Why didn't she say anything to us?"

"What?"

"She left a note with final wishes for everyone, but she didn't even mention us. L-Like she wasn't even thinking about how we'd feel about our own mother throwing her life away!"

"She probably thought we'd be able to handle it. After all, we thought she was dead for all those years before--"

"But this isn't the same! We know she's dead!"

"We don't know for sure--"

"I'm not going to live in denial again!" Tears continued to stream down Levin's face as he looked out over his village. His home. Malachi put a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Look at all you were able to do without her. She knew we'd be fine without her." Levin sobbed, burying his head into his brother's shoulder as Malachi held him close. "I-I'm going to miss her, but we know how to do this, don't we?"

"I-I don't want to."

"I know. So let's grieve now. We might not get the chance to later with the lives we lead." Levin nodded in acknowledgement, though Malachi could feel his shoulder starting to become wet from his brothers tears.

"Where is he?!" Laurance was almost in a blind panic, his heart racing and his breathing unsteady as he stumbled into the Phoenix Settlement. He felt almost alive. "Where's Garroth?!"

"Thank you." That's all it took for Malachi to join him.

"He was at the docks last time I saw him," Travis answered. "Where have--" Laurance was already gone. He wasn't thinking straight, only worrying about one thing. Just as Laurance reached the top of the hill and saw Garroth standing there, his left leg went limp. Laurance wasn't able to catch it happening before he took a step forward, resulting in him taking a very noisy and not exactly pleasant tumble down the path to the docks.

"Laurance?" Garroth questioned as he stood up and ran over to his lover. Laurance managed to push himself up from the ground and get a good look at Garroth's face. Tear stained. He was alive. He was breathing.

"Thank Irene you're alive," Laurance muttered.

"What?"

"N-Nothing." Laurance managed to get himself to sitting, but there was no hope for his leg coming back anytime soon. Garroth simply sat in front of him, Aph's note still in his hand. "Look, Garroth, I can't even begin to voice my regret. I-I shouldn't have run away from you. It was wrong of me to leave you alone, even if I thought I was protecting you. You're the last person in this forsaken world I would lay down my life for, and I was a fool to think I was doing any good by running away from that." Garroth smiled, and then took Laurance's hand and pressed a kiss to it.

"I'm glad you've come to this conclusion on your own." Garroth turned his hand over and placed her note in it. "I knew you would eventually, considering she already did, but I was worried it would take longer." Laurance's hands trembled as he read over the words, and by the time he was done, Garroth was sitting next to him and wrapping an arm around him, ready for the oncoming wave of emotions that was eventually going to hit Laurance.

He folded the paper, handed it back to Garroth, and then used his still working leg to bring himself around Garroth and wrap him in a proper hug. Garroth instantly wrapped his other arm around Laurance and just breathed. He just felt Laurance's weight, felt his breathing, felt his presence. He was back. In spite of his words Garroth had worried Laurance had truly abandoned him. It was more than he could ask for to have him here like this again.

And even when Laurance began to cry into his arms, Garroth was still eternally grateful.

"I'm sorry--"

"Laurance, it's okay," Garroth assured him. "I understand why you ran."

"I-I just didn't want to hurt you."

"I understand."

"But I love you. I love you so much and I never want to spend a second away from you."

"I love you too." Garroth took a deep breath, before he broke their embrace simply so he could hold Laurance's head in his hands and stare into those beautiful blue eyes. "We're going to get through this, tgoether."

"Irene?"

"Right, together." Laurance leaned forward and placed a kiss against Garroth's lips. It was easily the most alive he had felt since he had undergone his transformation. Even if he was still in an unimaginable amount of pain, even if he might tear his own life apart, even if everything could somehow get worse tomorrow, he was alive enough to kiss the man he loved. That's all he could ask for.

┈┈┈┈┈❀┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈❀┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈❀┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈❀┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈❀┈┈┈┈┈

What...?

"Wake up, Irene. It's not your time to die just yet."

[tearfallpixie]

Make Mama Happy - Chapter 4.5

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“I don't want you to go.” Heather whined. Ricky, her and I were at Vinny's place because we were going to take the boys to the warehouse to load up on the bus. Ricky didn't want to leave his car for almost a month in the parking lot so Heather volunteered us to give him a ride.

“I know. But its only for three weeks. I’ll call you every day.” Ricky promised, making me roll my eyes. Vinny was on the corner of his couch with his nose buried in his phone, actively avoiding looking at me.

“I hope you don't expect me to fawn over missing you.” I scoffed in his direction making him let out a snort.

“Awe but baby. I'll miss you so much.” He fake sobbed. I felt myself being pulled into his arms and a mop of curls burying itself in my neck. “I can't possibly be away from you that long.” A laugh bubbled past my lips at his ridiculousness and I turned to face him.

“I'm so sorry boo bear. I didn't realize how much you loved me. I'll try to reign in my emotions to make it easier on you to leave.” I crossed two fingers over my heart and heard him let out another snort.

“Such a sacrifice. What would I do without you.” I flopped dramatically onto his chest. We had gotten more comfortable with showing affection since we still had to pretend for a couple more months but it didn't mean we liked each other.

“We have to leave soon.” Rick murmured sadly, squeezing Heather a bit tighter. Standing to our feet we all grabbed the bags and headed out to Heather's car. As we loaded the bags into the trunk even I felt a little melancholy. The drive was quiet, no one daring to break the silence for fear any of us might burst out crying.

“Don't cause too much trouble while you're gone.” I mumbled to Vinny. He glanced over at me before giving me a small smile.

“Promise. I have to save all my trouble for you anyway.” I gave him a half smile and felt myself being pulled into a hug. “Hey, would you mind stopping by my place a few times while we're gone? Since Emil is coming with us I don't want my house abandoned for a month.”

“Me? Why?” I sputtered.

“Well you are my girlfriend for all intents and purposes. It would be normal for you to be seen at my place.” I thought about it and nodded.

“Fine. I guess.” He kissed my cheek and pulled out a spare set of keys.

“Thank you baby.” He grinned and hugged me. I rolled my eyes but hugged back, finding that he gave amazing hugs.

“We better get going. Come on Vin.” Rick called stepping over to us. He nodded to me and we both moved forward to hug but both of us were awkward about it and grimaced. He rubbed the back of his neck and shoved his hand towards me. “Take care of Heather for me.”

“Between the house and Heather I should start getting paid to babysit.” I joked. “Have fun Richard.”

“Right back at you brat.” He huffed. If I wasn't mistaken I was pretty sure there was a bit of amusement laced in his words. He took his bag from the trunk and Vinny followed suit, both of them stepping back and heading into the airport.

“You ok?” I asked Heather. I saw her wipe stray tears from her eyes and shake her head. “Give me the keys. I’ll drive us home.” She passed over the keys and curled into a ball in the passenger seat.

“Don't wreak Ricky's car. He’ll kill me.” She sniffled. I felt bad that she was taking this so hard and deep inside of my chest there was a tug of sadness that Vinny was leaving too. We weren’t friends by any means but I did enjoy his chaos sometimes.

“I promise.” I mumbled. “Do you want to spend the night? I don't want to be alone.”

“Please. God yes.”