#I don��t care if I’m cringe

[light-yaers]

Take Care: Chapter Thirteen

Fic Masterpost | AO3 | Chapter List

Warnings: swearing, eventual smut, emotional themes.

A/N: so... yeah it's been 7 months. whatever! i'm back bitches!

Word Count: 7k+

Chapter Thirteen:

You gasped when you woke, folding yourself upright in shock. You only had a few seconds to stabilise yourself before the headache from hell hit you like a drill to your skull. Groaning, you brought your hand to your forehead, and you could have sworn you could feel your brain throbbing. 

“Morning,” Roy said lowly, and you almost broke your fucking back as you turned to look at him abruptly. 

“Fuuucking hell,” you whispered. That was all your voice could handle at that moment.

As your heart thumped incessantly in your chest, your eyes ate him up. Roy sat at the dining room table, legs crossed and donned in a pair of tartan pyjama trousers. A loose fitted white cotton t-shirt covered his top half, and his hair was just slightly ruffled. He brought a coffee mug to his mouth, and smiled to himself in amusement as he took a sip. Nothing of what you’d previously imagined Roy would look like in the morning was what met you there– it was so much better. He looked softer, and calmer. 

Regretfully, you had to look away. It wasn’t just from the way your gut coiled, but from the stabbing pain that had begun in the middle of your forehead. “What the fuck happened last night?”

“Well, as the guys say it.”Roy stood slowly, and made his way to the sofa. Dropping himself next to you, he took another sip of coffee. “You got Danied.” 

Your groans could have been heard all the way over at Nelson Road. The guys would already be there, prepping for a game later that afternoon. You wondered how badly some of them were suffering, or if their bodies were already used to dealing with Dani related hangovers. Yours, however, was not. 

“I guess I went a bit overboard,” you croaked. “We were just having fun, and being festive, and possibly decking the halls far too much for my body to handle.”

Roy smiled. “Yeah, well it’s lucky you didn’t deck the halls with your fucking vomit last night, either.”

You scrunched yourself into a ball immediately, armadillo style, and grumpily shrugged the blanket you’d slept with over your head. You didn’t want the world to see you today, didn’t want to be exposed to the stares of your friends or neighbours, yet– here you were. In front of the one man you’d promised not to see over this holiday period. Drunk you hadn’t read the fucking rule book. 

Gently, Roy placed a hand on your ankle. Your entire body buzzed, as a shudder ripped its way up your body from his point of touch. “It’s fucking Christmas. Don’t worry about it.”

You swallowed away the urge to be sick, but not from your hangover. Roy squeezed your ankle ever so slightly. “Where’s Phoebe?” you asked, trying desperately to change the subject and revert his attention onto something– someone– else, other than groggy you. 

“My sister came by about an hour ago to pick her up.”

“And I didn’t hear them?” you exclaimed, muffled beneath the blanket. 

Roy shrugged. “You were out cold.”

“Fuck my life,” you muttered, before you realised something. Quickly, you revealed yourself from beneath the blanket and smacked your hands into your lap. Your hair was everywhere, an utter mess, but nevertheless you looked towards Roy. “What time is it?”

Roy glanced at his phone. “Just after midday–”

“Fuck!” You practically jumped out of your skin. Scrambling up from your section of the sofa, and struggling to fling the blanket off yourself, you finally stood up. “The pre-game is at quarter past two, which means I’m already fucking late!”

Roy watched as you panicked, but nothing could be done to slap away the affectionate smile he held on his face. You busied yourself by pacing the living room and checking your various messages, a few of which were obviously from the guys themselves, and you cringed incessantly when you read them. When you started counting on your fingers, Roy hoisted himself from the sofa with a subtle growl. 

“Will you calm the fuck down? You’re giving me hives.”

You shot a death stare at him. “I said I’d grab coffee with Rebecca at one o’clock, which I’m now probably not going to make. And I still need to shower, and get the stench of tequila off my body, and–” You stopped talking at the thought of alcohol, and had to place a hand on your chest to stop yourself from gagging. 

Roy abruptly reached out and grabbed your bicep softly. “Stop fucking thinking about tequila.”

You swallowed painfully. “Sorry.”

Roy’s fingers squeezed you softly, and the sensation alone was enough to ground you. You inhaled deeply, and got the thought of booze and lateness and stress out of your mind as much as you could. All the while, as your eyes were stamped shut and your chest shuddered through struggling breaths, Roy was there. He held onto you thoughtfully and with patience; two qualities that Roy definitely wasn’t known for. 

When you opened your eyes, you found Roy’s steady gaze on yours already. “Sorry,” you repeated. “I’m good, I’m fine.”

“And I’m Shania fucking Twain,” he said sarcastically. You let out an amused huff, and his face softened. 

The mere seconds you had looking at each other in this way was enough to make your heart hurt beneath your ribs. Just a little bit, just a tinge, but it only acted as a reminder of how this– you and him– wouldn’t ever work. You saw it in Roy’s gaze, too, and when he swallowed the words that rested on his tongue, just waiting to be said out loud. Maybe they never would. 

Roy gently removed his grip from you, but the softness didn’t leave his face for a second. “Can I get you a coffee?” 

You relaxed instantly, hardly registering your problems in that moment after his offer. You didn’t care about time anymore, or the fact that you had plans; you only cared about him. All you could do was nod, hit with the sudden urge that you didn’t want to leave so suddenly. It was you that had instigated this Christmas meeting, you who had shown up at his house– drunk– with no other intentions, other than wishing him a Merry Christmas. The word ‘wholesome’ had never come to mind alongside your actions, but you were struggling with what to describe the situation now. 

It was wholesome, and it was all you. 

Until it wasn’t wholesome anymore, and certainly not all you. 

“Last night,” you started, swallowing back some nerves that fluttered up from the pit of your stomach. “Before I fell asleep.” Roy took a small step back. “What were you saying?” 

You looked at him as innocently as possible, despite the increase in your pulse. Roy’s demeanour changed instantly, as he quickly raced his eyes up and down your hungover form. Quickly, he swivelled around and headed for the dining table. He picked up a small package that lay in the centre, next to other Christmas cards and scraps of old wrapping paper, before he turned back to you. 

Roy stopped a metre from where you stood and stuck his hand out slowly. “I got you a present,” he said softly. 

As you took in the image of him, your make-up stained eyes almost started to well. You could feel the tears ready to form, and begged to whatever fucking god was out there not to burst into tears. You sucked in a breath, but scoffed it back out as an inappropriate giggle erupted from within you. 

“Jeez, Roy,” you said, smiling. You stepped closer before taking the gift from him, and shot him a golden stare when you held it in your hands. 

Roy smiled. “Sorry it’s late.”

You scoffed again. “That was definitely my fault for falling asleep with a beer in my hand.”

Roy chuckled lightly, and innately you knew you’d never forget the sound of it. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” you whispered back. 

Tears welled in your eyes before you could stop them. Roy caught on immediately and stepped forward quickly, going to comfort you in whatever capacity he could– but you stopped him. “I’m fine, I’m fine,” you said, waving him off as if everything was fine. “I’m just hungover, and tired, and late– fucking late!” You remembered the entire situation so fast that you almost dropped your gift. “Coffee will have to wait. I need to run home.”

“I can drive you.” Roy offered, almost desperately, but you waved him off again. 

“No point. You have a studio to get to, and I have a very tall blonde woman to try and meet before the Richmond game.” Quickly, you shuffled out of the living room and towards the front door. You clutched your belongings in your arms– your jumper, your scarf, your jacket, Roy’s gift– and attempted to slip on your boots as fast as humanly possible. 

Roy appeared at the end of the hallway. He no longer looked soft, as he started stomping closer to you. “I’m not due at the studio till two o’clock. Let me drive you to Nelson Road, or fucking something–”

“Really, you don’t need to.” You tied your laces messily, knowing that you only had to survive getting out of his door and off his drive before you could finally burst. 

This was just it, wasn’t it? This– him and you, the gift giving, the coffee, the softness– was all too fucking much. You regretted going to see him last night, you regretted infringing on his Christmas like this, and now he desperately wanted you to stay. 

It was all a recipe for disaster. 

You whipped yourself up to standing and dared to look at him. “Besides, I’ve already overstayed my impromptu visit.”

Roy furrowed his brows angrily, getting worked up. “You haven’t been here in a fucking month, fell asleep after two bloody minutes, and you think you’ve overstayed your welcome? Just– fucking stop, and I can drive you, and we can–”

“Roy.” 

With the tone shift of your voice, Roy stopped. His chest rose and fell quickly; an attempt to calm down the erratic beat of his heart. You looked into his eyes deeply, and everything translated as clear as if you’d spoken the words. 

We’re not supposed to do this, remember? This is what you wanted, and I can’t be here anymore without it being painful. Let me go. 

He stepped back a little and un-balled his fists. He nodded, and bit down on his tongue to stop himself from choking, or saying something he’d definitely regret. 

You nodded back. It was all that needed to be exchanged for you both to understand. Grabbing the handle, you opened his hulking, oak front door and stepped into the cold Richmond air. Before you closed it behind you, you turned back to him.

Roy looked defeated, tired, slumped. His arms dangled by his sides without strength, and the look on his face had you rethinking your entire decision to leave; love-sick, or swarmed with thoughts of what could have been, if only he hadn’t put a boundary on how far this thing between you could go. His jaw was the only thing that stayed rigid, stuck, like he was clenching every single muscle to stop himself from spilling words onto his porch. 

You smiled sadly. “I’ll see you on the telly.” The front door slammed shut. 

You grappled for air as you ran up the steps to the Dogtrack. Coffee with Rebecca had been postponed, and you’d savoured the time you had to recover and get ready before you had to shoot out the door again. You navigated the inside of the stadium like the back of your hand, until you emerged outside into Richmond’s box. Rebecca sat in her usual spot. You dropped yourself down next to her and sighed deeply, finally letting yourself relax after an eventful early afternoon. 

“Hm.” Rebecca huffed in amusement. “Hello, darling,” she said with an air of knowing. 

“Don’t.” You dropped your bag to the floor and crossed your legs sturdily, wrapping yourself up comfortably and warmly within your puffer coat. 

“Good Christmas?” she still asked. You refrained from rolling your eyes, but knew you owed her an explanation.

“I got Danied.” 

“Oh, how those boys love you,” she said, laughing to herself. “They were quite jovial in the locker room this morning. There was something circulating about you performing Elton John’s Benny and the Jets after dinner.”

You shut your eyes and tried not to cringe at yourself. “Was that all?” you said, opening your eyes slowly. 

Rebecca shrugged. “Other than the abrupt departure and denial of needing a lift home while pissed beyond belief– no.” She smiled at you so widely that you couldn’t help but copy her. You sighed again and faced the pitch, praying innately that she couldn’t divulge you from a single stare. 

“I’m never gonna live this down, am I?” you asked.

“I can drop it altogether,” she stated. “If– you tell me where you raced off to so suddenly afterwards.” You turned to her, your smile all but gone. You swallowed painfully, traipsing through a maze in your head at how you were about to go about this conversation. 

You hadn’t told Rebecca about what had happened between you and Roy after the double date. You hadn’t told Keeley, either. It was a secret that you hadn’t intended to keep, but it had all seemed like the easiest option. To let things dissolve until the prying questions from your friends about yourself and Roy came to a close. That– and the fact that talking about it out loud made it all the more real. 

Sure, it’d been a month since the talk, the deal, the confession– whatever you could call it without it being too sad. And sure, you’d told yourself everyday that it was the easiest option to take. Less complicated, no strings attached, all that jazz. 

But– and it was a massive but– it didn’t mean you and Roy could immediately switch everything off when you were around one another. It didn’t stop those tired stares from earlier that afternoon, or the soft way Roy handed you your Christmas present (and the fact it was burning a hole through the lining of your bag, unopened). 

You smiled sadly at Rebecca. “I have something to tell you.” 

Rebecca shuffled in her chair, her expression dropping into one of concern. Quickly, she reached out and grabbed your hands with her own. “What’s going on?” 

You sucked in, ready to speak, but were cut-off by the whirlwind that Keeley Jones took with her everywhere. She dropped herself into the seat next to you, making you and Rebecca flinch. “Fucking hell– I almost got stuck in the mob outside!” Keeley exclaimed. She turned to you both, and her face dropped instantly. “Oh god, I interrupted you, didn’t I?”

You smiled at her softly and let out a breathy chuckle. “You’re a sight for sore eyes,” you said gently, meaning every word. She embraced you without question– firmly, warmly, as if she was attempting to make you feel better without even knowing what was wrong.

“Right on time, Keeley,” Rebecca said. Keeley reached over you to grip Rebecca’s hand in her own. She took one of yours in her other, and the three of you held each other’s hands lovingly. 

“What did I miss?” Keeley asked. 

“Well–” You sighed. “Where to start?” 

You told them everything, your girls. They listened, and squeezed your hands in their own at the right moments. They smiled sadly when you spoke, and looked at you like you were gold, and never interrupted. At the end, they hugged you from both sides. 

The boys ran out onto the pitch, with Ted, Beard and Nate at the sidelines. The whistle blew, and the match started. 

You tried not to think of him, but it was impossible. You thought of Roy as the ball was kicked into play in the centre; cameras on him, suit donned, hair slicked back and beard shaved to perfection.

You thought of him because you’d finally said it out loud– he’d turned you down, stopped this thing between you before it’d even had the chance to start, and it would be okay. In time, sure, but it would be okay. 

When you got home that night, you remembered the present in your bag. It was wrapped neatly, too neatly for what you’d assumed Roy was capable of, and topped off with a small card. You opened it in the darkness of your bedroom and read the words slowly. 

Just another thing to remind you of home. Roy.

You swallowed away the want to cry and opened the gift. Inside a small box was a strip of four photos, the kind you get from a photobooth. You stared at them in awe, flashing back to the night in which they’d been taken– a month before your departure from the club. 

Yourself, Ted, Roy and Sam were shoved uncomfortably into a photobooth in a local Richmond night-club. The four of you were squished beyond belief, but that didn’t stop you from thinking of it fondly. A drunk and impromptu night, right before the beginning of Roy’s troubles with playing the game. It had been your idea to get everyone into the booth, and you’d practically dragged Roy in against his will. You and he were shoved into one corner so badly that you’d practically had to sit on his lap. Sam sat on Ted’s lap beside you, and they smiled together into the camera. Each photo showcased a different laugh, a different smile, but not from Roy– until the last picture.

That’s when you’d draped your arm around his shoulder and looked at him face on. He’d looked back, and, in that millisecond of softness behind his eyes, the photo had been snapped.

You’d totally forgotten about that moment, had never actually seen the photos until now. Roy had picked them up. He’d kept them all to himself for this long. Even after the end of his career, his time at Richmond, all of it. He’d kept them. 

It had been there once, the possibility of something. It had been there more than once. You and Roy, Roy and you. It was snapped up in moments like then that you hadn’t realised until the end of his career. He may not have realised it either, until that time in his Jeep where feelings had seeped into the leather of those fancy car seats.

There was only so much you could think of the what could have been before it all became too much. The one that got away, the right person, wrong time, whatever it was. You’d been thinking about all of that since after the double date, but you didn’t want to think about it anymore. 

There was nothing you could do about it but move on. You couldn’t ponder or think in hindsight or imagine a different possibility. You had to move forward, and that’s what you were taking his gift as. Recognition that it was there, but now it was gone. 

You clutched the photo strip to your heart, just for a moment, and then you let it go. Perhaps this was exactly what you’d needed. Perhaps it was what Roy had needed, too. In some backwards way, it made everything clearer. There was no bad blood and there never would be. Your feelings were free, and a weight had lifted from your shoulders. 

At the end of the day, you’d run after Roy Kent once, and it had still resulted in this outcome. At the end of the day, you’d both confronted what you felt and still picked the option that was best. 

For the first time in a month you slept soundly, without thoughts that rattled around your head. Your mind was clear, so was your heart. Christmas in Richmond had finally come to a fucking close. 

A few weeks into the new year, Roy Kent was restless. His routine was static now. The constant grind of getting up, of filming, of dealing with the press. He was still a favourite on the telly, and you still watched him religiously. Alongside your own sluggish work, getting home to a new episode of Soccer Saturday spurred you forward. It kept you in the loop, in the know, and despite Roy being on the other end of the television screen, it kept you in his life. 

Pluto Press had become worse. There was no reason for you to deny it, and no way you even could. You’d been there for eight months now, and were very much out of the honeymoon phase. You hadn’t touched your novel since before Christmas, and you were feeling the repercussions of it. 

On the other side, Roy was feeling that same shift. The disconnect from the football world was grating on him more and more, and with every match missed or only seen from the insides of a studio, parts of him were disintegrating alongside. 

He texted you a lot. 

Jeff won’t stop talking about his wife. I can’t fucking stand it. 

Did you watch last week's game? I can’t believe Bumbercatch scored that shoddy fucking goal.

Isaac is really struggling right now, isn’t he? 

You replied to them all, because Roy was always right about football to an extent. You’d noticed it, too. Isaac McAdoo’s sudden struggle with being captain. The pressure that was placed upon his shoulders last season suddenly came to light. 

At every game you saw live, you noticed it even more. Perhaps that was a knowledge that Roy wouldn’t ever have now, but only saw over VTs. 

During the final week of January, you grabbed lunch with Sam. Sat opposite him in a small Richmond cafe, something lurked in the air. He scanned his menu a dozen times before he picked something, and smiled whenever he caught your eye, but you knew something was up. 

“Hey.” You reached across the table and grabbed his hand. “What’s up?” you asked sincerely. 

Sam let out a long sigh, and his shoulders collapsed. “Truthfully, I cannot pinpoint it. We are doing well in the FA Cup, the days are starting to get longer, yet I feel this immense pressure that I cannot explain.”

“Hey, it’s okay.” You squeezed his hand and smiled. “Richmond are under a lot of pressure. I’m not surprised that you’re feeling it as a player.”

“It’s Isaac, too,” Sam said smally. “He has not been himself for a month now. We’ve tried to help him, to reassure him and show him how hard we’re working, but it doesn’t seem to be sinking in.” 

You retracted your hand and went for your glass of wine instead. “Hm,” you hummed. 

Sam’s eyes widened. “You’ve noticed it too, haven’t you?”

You nodded, taking a sip from your glass. “He’s overthinking it all. I can see it as clear as fucking day.”

“I know. I just wish he could see it, too, so he could start easing the reins. He has been tough to be around, you know.”

“How so?”

“During debriefs, he yells at us. On the pitch it’s even worse. You saw him during our last game.”

You thought back to Richmond’s match from the week prior, where Isaac had started on Colin after a missed assist. He wasn’t himself in the slightest, and his team were trying and failing to deal with the repercussions. 

“What’s Ted doing about it?”

Sam shook his head. “I do not know, but I hope he does something soon. We are up against Leicester City next week, and we need to be ready for it.” 

You smiled at him apologetically, trying to offer hands on support. There was nothing you could do to fix this for the guys, which was always a hard pill to swallow. You missed them so vibrantly. Half of your days at work were spent thinking about the next time you’d get to watch them all play, or drop by during training, or see them like this with Sam; outside of the office or the stadium. 

“Anyway– enough about football. How are you doing? How’s work?” 

You grimaced immediately, but tried to hide it by taking a large gulp of your wine. 

Sam saw through your facade, and frowned immediately. “Is it that bad?” 

You slammed your glass on the table. “Define bad?” 

Sam copied your grimace, but sat higher in his chair. “Come on, lay it on me.”

You sighed deeply, and readied yourself to word vomit all over the table. “It’s not even the hours, or the commute, it’s everything else. They delegate work to me like I’m two levels higher than my current position, and sure, it’s nice that they trust me for that, but what I’m paid hardly covers my job description, let alone the extra work. I have no time to write anymore, my boss is a creep, my colleagues never want to grab a drink after work anymore, the centre of London fucking sucks, and– well–”

You inhaled, paused, and exhaled again.

“It’s not AFC Richmond. It’s not you guys.” 

Sam’s smile filled you with warmth, and it was his turn to reach across the table for your hand. He squeezed your fingers affectionately, and you thought about whether or not to tell him about Roy. It was probably best not to divulge everything to him, not because you thought he’d spill to the team, but because you were trying to move on still. 

Still.

“You know you are always welcome at Nelson Road. We miss you too.”

“God, that just makes it worse.” You dropped your head into your free hand. “I know Rebecca would find a job at the club for me in a heartbeat, but Keeley has taken over my role and is so much better at it. She deserves the spot more than I do, and I just– I can’t fathom asking for favours.”

“What about Roy?” Sam asked, and your body stalled. You sat up straight, and slid your fingers away from him quickly. 

“What about Roy?” you repeated. 

“Is there nothing you could do for him? You know, a personal assistant, or his agent, or something like that.”

You snorted immediately. “Are you joking?”

Sam smiled in amusement. “I’m just saying it could be a good opportunity,” he joked.

“Oh, fuck off,” you huffed. 

“You have always been an unlikely pair, you and Roy,” he said. “You make a good team. Plus, I have never seen someone put him in his place like you have. It takes a strong person to do that.”

“Enough,” you said, smiling. You finished off your wine and looked sadly at your empty glass. “I need another fucking drink.”

“Get a bottle,” Sam said. You perked your brows at him excitedly. “I have– what is it called?- gossip.”

“Sam Obisanya has gossip. What the hell has been going on?”

Sam shuffled on his chair in excitement, and your heart melted. You loved him so. “Keeley encouraged all of the players to get this dating app–”

“Bantr,” you said the name before Sam even could. 

“Ah, she has got to you, too.”

“Long ago. But go on.” You rested your elbows on the table and dropped your chin into your hands, ready to hear everything. 

“Well, I have been talking to someone.”

“Someone,” you repeated, widening your eyes. 

“Yes. And, well, she is intelligent and smart and loves literature.”

“Awh, Sam!” You almost exploded out of your seat, too full of excited energy to care about others sitting around you in the cafe. “Have you met up yet?”

“No, not yet. But I hope to ask her soon. The guys are being very supportive.” 

“Well, you’ll have to tell me all the gory details when you finally meet up.” You grinned at him mischievously, and he slapped your arm playfully. 

“I don’t kiss and tell!”

“For me, Sam Obisanya, you will kiss and tell.” 

For the remainder of lunch, you and Sam gabbed like you’d known each other since you were children. It always felt foreign whenever you were reminded of just how little time had passed. You’d only known the guys for less than two years, yet Richmond and the team had become your home. You’d only known Roy for that same amount of time, and… well. Look what happened there.

In fact, not to your knowledge, these same thoughts littered the minds of every member of AFC Richmond alike, every once in a while. For Rebecca, she thought of her departure from Rupert, and how much she’d grown in that time without him. For Keeley, she thought of her career, and what else she could do to open doors for herself as a businesswoman. For Isaac, he thought of his leadership, and how he’d never be able to replace the likes of Roy Kent. 

And for Roy– he thought of you, and what he’d halted before it’d even started. He thought of Richmond, his old team, and what he’d left behind after he’d all but abandoned them. 

Secretly, Ted thought of Roy, too. He thought of picking up his phone and texting him, he thought of asking for his help while Isaac struggled to see the bigger picture of the game. Ted’s thoughts soon became reality, and then it was too late to take back the text that he chose to send to the ex-Richmond captain. 

A few weeks later on your way back from work one Friday, battered and bruised both physically and metaphorically, you caved. You got out your phone and clicked the call button next to Roy’s name, not even thinking twice about it. 

He picked up on the first ring.

“Hey,” he said softly, as soft as Roy Kent could possibly say anything. 

“Hey,” you spluttered, smiling to yourself. 

“Hey,” he repeated, both of you at a loss for words just a tad. You hadn’t called each other many times, and never without a warning text beforehand. 

“We should probably stop saying ‘hey’ before it becomes an endless cycle.”

“Hey,” Roy said again, and you giggled down the phone. “What’s the occasion?” he asked. 

“Long day– week– at work, and I’m in desperate need of a drink with someone that doesn’t care about useless things like gossip, or shit reality telly, or… or…” Your mind went blank. 

“Two-in-one shampoo and conditioner.” Roy finished your sentence.

“Exactly! Useless!” you exclaimed. 

“A drink sounds lovely,” Roy began. “But, I can’t tonight.” 

You stopped walking suddenly, overcome by disappointment. You swallowed back the urge to cry just a little, but crying about Roy being too busy this evening to go for a pint was fucking crazy. You weren’t crazy, and you blamed it all on the general lack of sleep and emotional trauma from your fucking day job. 

Instead, you opted for a joke. “Got a hot date?” you asked, panicking slightly. Roy growled lowly. Evidently, it had not been funny. “Okay, so no date, then.” You attempted to save yourself. 

Roy thought to himself, sat on his sofa in his gym gear about to leave his house– what could he actually tell you? This evening, he’d agreed to meet Ted and Isaac to impart some wisdom onto them in an attempt to help Richmond at their next game. This was the closest Roy had come to being around AFC Richmond since he’d retired, and he knew you’d latch onto that idea immediately. 

Perhaps, a lie was best. Perhaps, it was easier this way. 

“No, you’re right,” he said convincingly. “I am going on a hot date.”

“Oh,” you let out. You didn’t mean for it to sound so sad, or for your voice to be so coarse. It just slipped out like that. You coughed dryly. “Oh, right!” you exclaimed, trying to save this trainwreck of a conversation, and a poorly made joke that you couldn’t actually believe was real. 

Roy was dating. Four months since he’d shut you and he down, and he was back to dating. 

“I need to go soon, actually.” Roy knew he’d fucked up. “But– how about next Friday?”

Truth be told, you’d love to say yes to his offer. Inside, however, you were deeply raging. It wasn’t the fact that you hadn’t had sex in borderline two years, or that Roy had moved on far quicker than you had since before Christmas, it was because he actually had a fucking date. And you didn’t. 

Or, perhaps, you did. 

“I can’t,” you blurted. “I actually have a date, too.” Jesus, you should have gone to school for Drama. You started walking again as you felt something that resembled confidence surge through you. You wouldn’t let Roy win, not this time around. Sure, there was nothing there anymore in ways of romance or more, but there was still competition. 

“Oh, right.” Without meaning to, Roy said exactly the same as you had. 

“He’s not much of a football fan, either. It’s quite refreshing.” You lied.

Roy stood up from his sofa as fast as humanly possible. “What?” he almost bellowed it. “Well, he sounds boring as fuck. Great job.” 

“Well, my previous experiences with footballers haven’t exactly gone perfectly, have they?” you said smugly. 

Roy short-circuited in his living room. To anyone that saw him from outside, he’d look like a statue about to fall off its perch. “I– well. You–”

“Am I wrong?” You knew you’d got to him. 

Roy breathed in deeply through his nose. “No. Now fuck off,” he said sternly. “Have a good evening.”

“Have a good date!” you yelled in amusement, before Roy hung up the phone immediately after.

You strolled back from Richmond underground station with a smile on your face. With each passing day, things between you had got easier. In some weird way, talking about dating other people had allowed a barrier to descend. Friends. Good friends. You were content with that.

The Saturday after, you entered the Dogtrack on a particularly cold afternoon in February. The air cut you deep to your core, but the buzz of electricity from the approaching match was enough to warm you. AFC Richmond were still very much contenders in the FA cup, but McAdoo’s captain tactics had still been subpar at their last game. 

As you made your way to the home box, you prayed that he’d eased the reins. Football was a game after all, and you missed seeing that spark in Isaac’s eyes whenever the ball came into his corner. Rebecca and Keeley were talking away as you sat in your seat, too engrossed in conversation to notice your arrival. 

“Ted said it was a success, so I guess we just have to believe him,” Rebecca said. 

“Good on Roy, though! It’s been fucking months since he’d even stepped foot on a proper football pitch,” Keeley said jovially. 

“What’s this about Roy on a football pitch?” you questioned, crossing your legs to get comfortable. Keeley twisted herself to face you happily, wrapping her arms around your neck in greeting. “Hi, babes,” you whispered to her fondly. 

“Roy didn’t tell you?” Rebecca replied. “Last Friday, he helped Ted with the Isaac problem.”

Keeley sat back in her seat once more, tightening the Richmond scarf around her neck warmly. “We’ve nicknamed it the Isaac problem. Seems fitting, don’t you think?”

Last Friday. Last Friday night. You sighed heavily and raised your shoulders to your ears from a lack of what else to do. “Well, I’m sure Ted was a very hot date,” you muttered.

Rebecca and Keeley caught eyes confusedly. “What?” they said simultaneously. 

You waved your hand at them. “Nothing. I’m just an idiot. Nothing new.”

Keeley found your hand quickly. “Everything alright, babes?”

You nodded at her, softening your expression. “Yeah, yeah. Just been a long few weeks at the office.”

“God, you need to get the fuck out of there.” Rebecca crossed her legs strongly, raising her chin. “You know, I could speak to admin and see if there’s space–”

“Rebecca,” you interrupted her. 

She waved her hand this time, brushing off your sternness. “I know. It’s fine.” 

“Let’s just watch the match, okay?” you leant over Keeley to grab Rebecca’s hand. “It’s positive that Roy helped Isaac out, he’s got heaps of experience being captain here to have done something. And it’s… well.” You smiled to yourself. “It’s good that he’s back around the game a bit more, isn’t it?”

Rebecca patted your palm. “Yes. Yes, it is.”

The three of you settled into your seats in comfortable silence, feeling the growing roar of fans as the time until kick-off loomed ever closer. You surveyed the pitch before you, noticing the thin layer of frost on the green grass, the white breath of ten-thousand fans, the blue tint of the sky as if colour graded by an expert film editor. 

You always associated the Richmond team colours with one person, not the entire team as a unit: Roy. It was Roy you’d first met almost two years ago in that car park out the front of the training facility. Sure, he was wearing black as is his custom, but when you’d spotted him in his football kit on the field, the colours were forever imprinted behind your eyelids. The reds and blues all over the Dogtrack, the blue letters on Ted’s believe poster, the number six above Roy’s all cubby. He was everywhere. He was everywhere around you. 

But, he wasn’t here today. He hadn’t been to an actual Greyhounds’ game since his retirement. He hadn’t stepped foot on the grounds, or spoken more than a few chaste words to Ted and Beard in the city– he’d only really spoken to you. And you weren’t a part of Richmond anymore, not really. You didn’t have an office a few doors down from the locker room anymore, you didn’t have lunch with Rebecca with too much wine involved for a working day, you didn’t have Roy. 

All of a sudden, your chest compressed painfully. Your heart rate accelerated, your breathing spiked. You felt sick, ill, like you could easily sit on the cold concrete of the stands and never stand up again. You didn’t know why it’d taken you so long to realise that everything had changed, and you could have sworn you’d felt the shifts from last year when they’d all happened. If that was the case, then why now, why here, did you feel so utterly alone that you could hardly stand it?

You’d moved past this! You’d settled somewhere new, with new people, in a different, grey part of the city. You’d adapted to the ways you’d still fit in– lunches, quick drinks, impromptu visits to Roy’s or Mae’s or Keeley’s or whatever. That’s how it all worked for you, and it had been doing so since last year. So, why now?

“Babes.” Keeley grabbed your hand swiftly. “Are you okay?” she questioned, but you didn’t have the emotional capacity to look her or Rebecca in the eyes. You knew you’d burst if you did. 

“Darling.” Rebecca leant closer to you. “Breathe. Just breathe, sweetheart.”

They watched as you broke down in the stands again, not four months after Roy had broken things the first time. Now, this was a different ball game. Complete and utter rejection of the life you thought you’d finally made for yourself, by yourself. A life that wasn’t actually what you fucking wanted anymore. It was all shit. This was all shit.

You sucked in a stuttering breath. “I don’t think I can be here right now,” you said coarsely. 

Rebecca and Keeley nodded quickly. “Okay, what do you need? To go inside? To wait for the game to be over?” Rebecca said.

“To go.” You gulped down a large breath. “To go now.”

“Okay,” Keeley said strongly. “Go, babes. Do what you need to do.”

You got up as quickly as you’d sat down, and started towards the inside of the stadium. You moved slowly, needing to clutch your hand to your heart at the halfway mark just to make sure it was still beating. Anyone could see this was a panic attack, but you didn’t want to admit that things had gotten this bad. The culmination of everything finally hit you in the face. Innately, you’d known this was going to happen, but you didn’t think it’d happen here. Your home. 

The crowd growing louder didn’t exactly help, but when they cheered suddenly at the teams arriving on the field, you could feel the vibrations within you. You could feel your blood, your flesh, your heart beating. You shut your eyes and breathed it all in, not daring to turn around and look at the pitch. 

Then, the cheering increased. They were screaming, yelling, exclaiming, doing whatever football fans did when something big happened. Had someone scored already? That wasn’t possible– kick-off was another thirty seconds away. 

“Oh my fucking God!” Keeley jumped up from her seat immediately and bound towards you. “Babes.” She gripped your shoulders gently. “You might want to turn around.”

“I just need a minute,” you said, calming down slightly. 

“No, I think you’re really gonna want to see this,” she tried again. “Come on, just one small look, and then you can go wherever you need to go for some peace.”

Reluctantly, you followed her instructions. You turned back towards the pitch, overseeing the players in their starting positions, the ball not yet in play. The fans weren’t yelling at the team, they were screaming at something– someone– else. 

As your eyes focused, you realised what you were seeing. 

Adrenaline spiked through your blood, as invigorating as an ice pick to a frozen heart. You lunged towards the home box wall, gripping your fingers over the edge as you looked down at him. As if on cue, Roy Kent tilted his head to the stands in search of you. When he found you, he stopped. He smiled. Your frozen heart shattered instantly. 

“I’ll be right back,” you told Rebecca and Keeley. Then, quite stupidly, you jumped the wall of the home box and into the stands. 

“Hey!” Keeley.

“Be fucking careful!” Rebecca.

As soon as your feet hit solid concrete, you ran down the steps of the stands without a second thought. That’s when you heard it all– his chant. 

He’s here, he’s there, he’s every-fucking-where, Roy Kent! Roy Kent!

It echoed throughout the pitch like a homecoming song. It hadn’t been heard here since last May, when Roy hobbled off the pitch during his last game of football ever. 

“Roy!” you yelled. You didn’t think he’d hear over the immense noise, but he turned back to you immediately. Almost like he’d been listening out for you this entire time. 

Roy paced it to your side of the stands, past Ted and Beard, past the guys on the pitch, past the incessant roar around him. You did the same, descending more stairs each time you stepped forward. When you reached the last few, you jumped them, bombarding into the locked gate at the bottom barrier. 

Roy caught you by the shoulders before you folded in half like a lawn chair. His grip sprouted those same colours in your mind– blue, red, blue, red, blue, red. 

“Thanks for dropping by,” Roy said, smiling so excitedly that you could hardly believe what was happening. 

“I could say the same for you, you know,” you replied, utterly overcome. 

“Turns out I missed it here. Just like you, I missed it here.” His thumbs gently rubbed your shoulders, sending shivers down your spine. 

“We missed you, too.” You wrapped your fingers around his forearms, just as an excuse to hold him a bit longer. 

“Coach!” Ted yelled from twenty metres away. You caught his eye quickly, and you knew the game was about the start. Roy heard him, too, but didn’t move a muscle. 

“Go. You have a team to coach.” You pushed Roy ever so slightly, just a small nudge to remind him of where and what he was. A coach at AFC Richmond. “Go!” you chuckled, pushing him gently in his chest this time. 

Roy sent you one last colossal smile, then dipped forward to place a warm kiss on your cheek. He bound away as soon as he had, and jogged back to Ted, Beard and Nate at the sidelines. The stadium erupted as the whistle blew, signifying the start of a new era for the Greyhounds, and perhaps– for you, too.

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[literatureloverx]

Chocolate Pudding

F Y O D O R D O S T O E V S K Y

Mdni, Fyodor x ideal type fem!reader, yandere behaviour, misogyny,N*FW moments, Fyodor is TOO hungry for his own good etc. Not proof read that means some parts might be cringe.

It is kind of a continuation of FIRST NIGHT and AFTERCARE WITH FYODOR

So, you and Fyodor are at the very end of your honeymoon and for the first time, completely alone in your shared mansion.

Enjoy.

Chocolate Pudding

“Are you hungry, my love? We haven’t had breakfast yet?” you ask innocently, glancing at the expensive clock on the bathroom wall. The water in the bathtub is still warm. It’s already 14:30.

Fyodor hums thoughtfully, following your gaze to the clock. Realizing you haven’t eaten yet, he lets out a quiet huff, a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips as he turns his gaze back to you.

“It seems I forgot all about breakfast. I suppose I am quite hungry after all.”

“Of course you would forget. You were too busy…”

He tightens his grip around you, holding you more firmly against his chest as you speak, a hint of concern in his deep voice.

“…you were busy ravaging me. I literally forgot what day it was after that.”

He can’t help but laugh at your words, finding your statement so accurate it’s almost humorous. His fingers gently caress your waist and lower back as he responds, his deep voice laced with amused affection.

“I suppose I was, my love. I didn’t exactly give you time to think of anything else, did I?”

“I don’t even remember when I passed out.”

He hums in response, his smirk widening into a smile as he remembers you passing out. His eyes roam over your face, the memory of pleasuring you and watching you lose consciousness bringing him satisfaction.

“I believe it was when I kept you up against the wall, darling. It was quite a sight, seeing you pass out in such ecstasy.”

You pout. “I don’t remember the end of it, though…”

He laughs again, finding your little pout adorable. His smirk widens as he holds you firmly against him.

“Well, that’s because you passed out before the main event, darling.”

Oh. You blush.

“O-okay… I don’t need details.”

He huffs out another soft laugh at your reaction, charmed by your blush and shyness. He moves his head forward, gently kissing your forehead.

“No, I don’t suppose you do. But suffice it to say, I had quite a lovely time, and I made sure you did too, my love.”

“I believe you,” you say cutely. “Shall I stand up? The water is getting cold.”

He hums in response, his hold on you loosening. He gently caresses your skin as you stand up from his lap.

“Sure, you may stand, darling. Be careful.”

He watches you closely to make sure you don’t fall.

Your legs are a little wobbly, but you manage to stand just fine. He nods approvingly, letting out a soft hum of satisfaction as he observes you holding yourself up despite your wobbly legs.

“It seems the time we spent together earlier has had quite an effect on you, my love.”

“I believe warm water was just what I needed…” you say cutely while putting on your bathrobe.

He watches you as you don your bathrobe, his eyes lingering on the exposed skin of your neck and shoulders, still slightly marked by the love bites he gave you. He hums in response, his gaze fixated on you.

“Surely it was, my love. And now I will finally get something to eat. I’m starving.”

Oh, the slight, almost vicious mocking in his tone. You love every bit of it.

“What shall I make for my wonderful husband?” you ask, brushing your still-wet hair and gazing into the large bathroom mirror.

He hums in contemplation, watching you brush your hair through the reflection. He smirks as you ask what he would like to eat, remembering that you would prepare anything he desires. His sweet, soft wife.

“You’re such a wonderful wife, my sweet.”

He slowly stands up from the tub to stabilize his blood pressure, wrapping a towel around his hips and fixing his gaze on you through the mirror.

“I’m in the mood for pasta, darling.”

“Sounds delicious. I’ll prepare it immediately for us, my love,” you sing softly.

Fyodor huffs out another quiet laugh at your cute way of speaking, finding it endearing. He walks up to stand behind you, his hands gently resting on your hips as he speaks, his deep voice low in your ear, dripping with a certain possessiveness.

"Thank you, my love. But make sure to put on clothes, darling, before going into the kitchen."

Oh, the tease he is—so mocking but so irresistibly, sweetly flustering.

You pout. "Of course I will. We wouldn't want you to bend me over the table now, would we?"

He huffs out another laugh, a smirk pulling at the corners of his lips as he pulls you closer against him, his hands holding your hips firmly as he presses an affectionate kiss to the side of your neck. He lets out a soft hum against your skin as he replies, his deep voice again dripping with possessiveness.

"Don't believe l'd have any objections to that either, darling."

You giggle, kissing his cheek and heading towards the bedroom to find something to wear.

He watches you as you walk towards the bedroom, his eyes roaming over your body and taking in the sight of your skin still marked and bruised by his love bites. He huffs out an amused chuckle at the sight and speaks, his deep, soft voice sounding amused.

"No need to bother putting too much on, dear. You look good without clothes too."

"Fyodor!" you shriek and giggle, blushing as you run off to the dressing room.

He chuckles again at your shriek and blushing cheeks, knowing you're not actually mad but rather shy about being naked, even though he's already seen everything.

You sing a soft melody as you choose something comfortable to wear. You find an elegant soft pink summer dress and decide to wear it.

He watches you through the open door of the dressing room, his gaze fixed on the pink dress you pick out. A subtle sense of possessiveness washes over him as he observes how pretty you look in it.

"Such a pretty little dress, my love. You look absolutely stunning, darling."

"You like the color on me, my love?" you ask softly, drying your hair and deciding to wear it open.

He hums in response, his gaze roaming over you now that you're all put together in the pink summer dress.

"Yes, I do indeed like it, my love. You look absolutely lovely. I quite like the sight of you in pastel pink."

You giggle, spraying a little cherry perfume on yourself and applying pink lip gloss.

He stands in the doorway of the dressing room, leaning against the frame as he watches you prepare yourself. The sweet scent of cherry fills the room, and your pink lip gloss makes your lips look luscious and delectable to him.

He lets out another deep hum, a smirk on his lips as he gazes at you, his voice dripping with desire and possessiveness.

"You smell good enough to eat, my love."

"Well, I'm happy that I don't smell like pasta then." you reply.

He huffs out another soft laugh, enjoying your witty remark. His smirk widens slightly as he replies, his voice still filled with desire.

"No, my love. You don't smell like pasta, but quite a lovely bit like cherries. I do like the fragrance, though I wonder if your sweet lips taste like cherries as well, darling."

"You can find out.." you giggle.

"Would you like me to make dessert too?"

His smirk widens at the thought of tasting your sweet lips again, already feeling his heart throb in excitement.

"Darling, l'd rather have you as my dessert."

"How witty of you, as always," you giggle with faux amazement. "How about chocolate pudding?"

He lets out another hearty laugh at your comment, his smirk widening as he gazes down at you.

You giggle. "Chocolate pudding with cherries on top?"

He chuckles deeply, enjoying your giggles and witty remarks.

He hums in agreement, lifting his hand to gently trace the soft skin of your lips with his thumb. His voice is low and deep as he replies.

"I suppose that would make a delicious combination, indeed, my love."

"Then I should head to the kitchen to make us those foods, my love," you say, kissing him briefly.

He lets out a deep hum in response, enjoying the feeling of your lips on his before they pull away too soon for his liking.

You smile cutely, turning around and leaving the dressing room. The sound of your bare feet can be heard as you walk down the stairs.

He hums, watching you leave, his eyes trained on your bare feet and legs. He smiles, appreciating how pretty you look in the summer dress, the color enhancing your beauty and the fact that you aren't wearing underwear adding to his possessiveness. His mind imagines what it will be like to indulge in you later on.

"Mmm...Tease."

You hum a melody as you walk through the grandiose mansion towards the kitchen. Everything is huge, so it takes some time to get from the bedroom to the kitchen.

He chuckles to himself, realizing how long it actually takes to traverse the enormous house.

"I'm coming down. How long are you going to take, моя любовь?"

His voice can barely be heard.

"I'm waiting!"

He huffs out another soft laugh, enjoying your cute enthusiasm. He quickly runs a hand through his hair to make sure it looks presentable before heading down the grand staircase to join you in the kitchen.

"Coming, my love."

"Fedya~ everything one could need is here! It's amazing! It's like we own a market!" you sing cutely, your voice the only thing heard.

He reaches the kitchen and smiles at its sheer size. His gaze falls on your lovely figure by one of the worktops. He huffs out a soft chuckle, replying with a hint of humor in his voice.

"Don't you dare cook the entire kitchen now, darling."

You pout. "I'm a good cook! You know that..."

He smiles wider at your pout, finding it adorable. He hums in agreement before replying, a touch of humor in his deep voice.

"I know that, my love. I wasn't referring to your cooking skills. I was more worried you'll attempt to cook the entire kitchen, given its ridiculous size."

You pout cutely. "I'll cook in every corner."

He huffs out another soft laugh, finding your pouting and stubbornness endearing. His smirk widens as he saunters up to you, his tone playful.

"My, my, aren't you cheeky? Careful now. You wouldn't want to tease me too much, love."

"I knew you would threaten me this way..." you giggle, starting to prepare the pasta.

He chuckles deeply at your comment, enjoying your giggle and playful response. His arm wraps around your waist, pulling you against his chest.

His lips brush your ear as he speaks, his voice playful yet holding a hint of something dark and possessive.

"I wonder what I should do with a cheeky little tease like you, my love."

"Kiss and praise me because I'm so pretty and eager to please my husband with my cooking?"

He huffs out another deep chuckle at your cocky yet cute reply. His lips gently press against your neck, sucking and nibbling at the sensitive flesh, leaving another love bite before he replies, his voice deep and possessive.

"Touché."

——————

You're cooking the pasta and preparing the pudding in the meantime.

Fyodor watches you working at the worktops, his deep amethyst eyes roaming over your figure, his smirk widening in appreciation.

"Goodness, you are lovely while cooking, my love. My little wife, hard at work to please your dear old husband."

"Old?" you giggle. "Just a few hundred years... it's not that much, my love."

He huffs out a deep laugh at your remark, finding your sassy little retorts both cute and endearing, yet incredibly hot and arousing. He suddenly grips your chin, tilting your head up to look at him, his smirk widening at the sight of your flushed cheeks and the redness of your ears.

"My cheeky little woman... I might just have to punish you for those little remarks of yours."

"Baby, I'm cooking!"

He huffs out another deep chuckle at your comment, the pout of your lips making the urge to punish you rise even more. Nevertheless, he reluctantly lets go of your chin but keeps his arm wrapped around your waist.

He hums as he replies, his deep voice still thick with possessiveness.

"I know, my love. I'll let you continue cooking just this once."

"You're a man with many interests. It's uncommon for you to cling to me like that..."

His smirk widens further, his amethyst eyes studying your every feature. He continues speaking, his deep, smooth voice still possessing that hint of possessiveness, his arm now holding you tight around the waist.

A soft, gentle slap is placed upon your buttocks, making you gasp softly.

"True, I'm a man with many interests, my love. But I cannot deny that I take great joy in clinging to you, my heart. You are my dearest possession, darling.."

You gulp. He is so…particular at this very moment. You wonder why.

"I miss you playing the cello... would you play it sometime for me?"

He pauses at your words, slightly surprised by the sudden change in topic, but soon hums in agreement, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips, his deep voice gentle and soft.

"Of course, my love. I shall play it for you again. Is there a certain song you wish to hear?"

"La leçon particulière..."

He lets out a low chuckle at your response, realizing you chose a rather raunchy piece to request. He hums in response, once again agreeing to your request.

"Sure, my love. I shall play it for you. However, this particular piece does not quite fit my good little wife. It is rather... erotic, darling."

You smile. "But it is one of my favorites..."

He knows. But it is far more entertaining to tease you about the things he already knows.

He hums once more, a deep chuckle leaving his lips. Your taste in music is indeed quite interesting, considering you are such a sweet and innocent little thing. It mirrors your personality very well.

Nevertheless, he agrees to your request, his smirk widening ever so slowly, his deep voice now holding an even more pronounced element of possessiveness, his words almost sultry.

"My little wife, with her rather questionable taste in music. I shall play this piece in the evening for you, but I expect payment for it, my love."

"With kisses?"

He huffs out another deep chuckle at your reply, finding your eagerness and naivete highly adorable, once again feeling the urge to just throw you onto the nearest table and claim you completely. Nevertheless, he gives in, replying in a sultry tone with a wide smirk.

"Indeed, my love, with kisses. And I expect a rather generous payment..."

You giggle. "Of course."

He huffs out a deep chuckle, enjoying the adorable sound of your giggles. He then suddenly pulls your body flush against his, his lips against your ear, speaking in a low, thick, and sultry voice, his words a mere breath of air against your ear.

"You better not disappoint me, my love. I might need more than just kisses, given my long time of absence, my dear."

"Of course, my love." You kiss his jaw softly, placing their pasta on the plates. "By the way, I haven't heard anything about Nikolai lately. Did you hear anything about him?"

He hums in approval and pleasure at your soft kisses, his deep voice still thick with possessiveness. His expression darkens slightly at your question, and he huffs out a low sound, clearly finding Nikolai and his whereabouts uninteresting.

"I haven't heard anything from him lately. Good riddance, if you ask me, darling."

You chuckle at his bluntness. "Well... I wasn't expecting that."

He huffs out another deep chuckle, finding your cute reaction endearing.

“...but Ivan is still working for you, right?" you sing cutely, pouring cherry juice into their glasses.

He huffs out a deep chuckle at your singing, finding your voice highly endearing. He replies, his words now a bit more serious.

"Yes, Ivan is still working for me. Why do you ask?"

"You specifically hired him for tea making because he is so good at it, so I'm a little nervous about making your tea from now on, every day."

You place your plates and glasses on the table.

He huffs out a deep laugh at your suddenly concerned pout, finding you once again adorable. He replies, his smile widening.

"My little wife. My little worrywart. Trust me, it's impossible for you to mess up making tea." He suddenly pulls a chair back for you, gently gesturing for you to sit down.

You smile, thanking him. "I hope so... l'd like to make you very, very happy."

He hums, a wide smile spreading over his lips at your words. Your cute eagerness to please him in any way possible makes his possessive urges increase before he replies, his deep voice thick with possessiveness and adoration, with a hint of something darker underneath.

"My sweet darling, you are doing a splendid job of making me very, very happy."

"Shall I entertain my wonderful husband with some thoughts on a movie I watched just before our wedding?" you say cutely, starting to taste your cooking. "Is the pasta to your liking?"

He hums in approval at your question, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips, finding your words and behavior so innocently adorable and endearing again. He lifts his own pasta to his mouth, taking a bite, and hums in approval, his taste buds dancing at the flavor.

"My, my... Very well done, darling. It's delicious. Do tell me your thoughts about the movie, my love."

"I recently watched the movie The Age of Adaline. Have you ever heard of it?" It's obvious that he hasn't, because he really doesn't watch movies.

He hums in thought as he chews, swallowing his bite of pasta before replying, his words coming out a bit delayed due to him having to chew and swallow first. He shakes his head in negation at your question.

"I have not, darling. What is it about?"

"About a woman who can't age. I found the first 20 minutes of the movie to be brilliant. I was so invested in the thought of what someone who can't age and therefore not die a natural death would feel and think. She had a husband, who died a tragic death. They had a daughter together."

He hums again, finding the subject of such a movie interesting. Simply because you’re the one telling about it.

His amethyst eyes roam over your face, studying your thoughtful expression about this subject. It makes him curious about your personal thoughts on the matter.

He loves to hear you talk. You sound so sweet, like some kind of a fairytale character.

"How does she feel and think, in your opinion? I take it she feels very lonely to live on as she does."

"That is exactly what I thought, and my expectations for the movie were very high. I was so ready to explore her inner world but then.." you drink. "Well, they literally messed it up. With a petty romance that didn't make any sense in the first place."

He huffs at your words, agreeing with your opinion. After all, he was a rational man with more than just a distaste for sentiment in general.

Nevertheless, he hums, replying, his deep voice getting a slightly dark, possessive tone again.

"I could see this disappointing you, darling. I would also dislike it when movies promise certain things and then fail to deliver."

Your eyes widen cutely, delivering your thoughts fiercely. "I was expecting so much more! She had a daughter who reached an age where she barely could walk down the stairs, and she couldn't age! She was always on the run, never truly able to make friends or any meaningful connection..."

He hums, finding your fierce side a highly arousing sight to witness, and he can't help but grip your thigh from under the table. He replies, his eyes now roaming over your face, admiring your expression.

"Such a scenario would be incredibly lonely, darling. I admire your ability to imagine such a situation so vividly."

This means so much to him. The way you were searching for him in that movie. Other ways to understand him, feel his inner turmoil, be there for him. As if you weren’t already mastering it with bravura.

"The first 20 minutes were truly brilliant..." you huff. "I could feel all the agony and stress of her situation, but then they had to drop a 30-year-old male lead into the movie, possibly more than half her age, and play out that 'young love' vibe as if saying that one can always start over. It cheapened her character so much, it was unbearable. Wasted potentials are almost hurting me physically, you know, my love?"

He huffs out another deep chuckle at your words, your annoyed and frustrated expression endearing to him. Once again, he tightens his grip on your thigh, his smirk widening, the possessive tone in his voice now more than obvious, his amethyst eyes locked with your brown ones.

"I can see that, my love. Your passionate response to such wasted potential is... arousing, to say the least."

You giggle, pouting playfully, your gaze fixed on your own plate. "The way she flirted with him was too modern. A woman in her age would struggle to flirt with a modern age man. Also, she was a weird mix of very introverted and very extroverted, as if she was holding herself back. She was such a feminist it didn't make any sense. A woman born in 1908 could be so much more misogynistic."

He huffs out yet another deep chuckle at your observation, finding your assessment correct, and his hand on your thigh slowly starts to slide higher, before suddenly squeezing your inner thigh, his smirk widening slightly, his eyes darkening just a bit, his voice still thick with possessiveness.

"You're absolutely correct, darling. However, I have to say, I love seeing you so annoyed over such details."

"The most annoying part was the male lead. He gave me chills."

He huffs again, his smirk widening at your irritation, his hand now moving up further, his touch just barely teasing the edge of your dress.

"What was so annoying about him, my love?"

"He was just... cringe?" you say innocently.

He huffs out another deep laugh, finding the innocence with which you say the word 'cringe' endearing to him, before he replies, his voice holding a hint of possessiveness again, his smirk widening.

"Can you elaborate, darling? What was so cringe about him?"

"I was sure that he would start to bark at some point. He was like a teenager stuck in a 30-year-old's body."

He huffs again, amused by your description, and he squeezes your thigh a bit more firmly, his amethyst eyes roaming over your face, his hand now slowly pushing up higher along your inner thigh.

"Mmm... You're right, dear. His behavior and actions are indeed quite cringe."

You gasp softly. "I never imagined you would say that."

He huffs, a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips as he watches your gasp, and he slowly starts to apply more pressure to your inner thigh, his smirk widening before replying, his eyes taking on a darker tone.

"Ah, really? Why is that, my love?"

"Cringe is such a petite word for you," you say softly, sipping.

He huffs, a dark smile now spreading over his lips, your words and tone stirring something in him. As you sip from your beverage, he suddenly moves his hand a bit higher, his touch now definitely pushing under your dress, his voice getting a low, possessive tone.

"It is, yes. A word one wouldn't associate with me. But watching you get worked up over this is quite endearing."

"You didn't finish your pasta... I worked so hard for this," you pout cutely.

He huffs out another deep chuckle at your pout, finding you adorable for the billionth time. Nevertheless, his hand keeps on slowly pushing up further, as his eyes roam over your face, a smug smile on his lips.

"indeed, you did, my love. That is why you are such a well-trained little wife, aren't you? I must praise you for that."

You blush softly at the sweet praise.

"If you don't finish your pasta, I can't serve you the pudding, my love."

He huffs, taking in your expression, before eventually giving in, his smug smile widening.

"All right, all right, my love. Since you worked so hard on it, I'll finish it."

"Thank you," you say, kissing him on the cheek.

He huffs, letting out a deep chuckle at your kiss, finding your touch and words endearing.

Nevertheless, he gently takes hold of your chin with his free hand, and suddenly pushes your head gently back, before pressing his lips firmly on top of yours, his movement and touch almost too forceful and possessive, as if he would want to claim your body once more, right here and then, at the dining table.

"Mh~"

He huffs, his lips moving against yours, his possessiveness getting the better of him, he pushes his tongue between your lips, claiming your mouth in the most dominating of ways. His free hand slowly starts to roam a bit higher up your inner thigh, now definitely moving up under the hem of your dress, his touch demanding and firm.

"F-Fyodor! Your food..."

He hums, feeling your gasp at his action, and he finally pulls away, his eyes dark, almost feral, and he huffs before replying, a smug smile on his face, his voice thick with possessiven-ess. "Food can wait, my love."

"I will be very unhappy if you don't eat up," you pout. "You're anemic. You should eat well."

He hums, finding your pouting too adorable, and he presses another kiss on your pout, his smirk widening, his hand still slowly roaming higher under your dress, now brushing teasingly against your panties, his eyes glimmering with mischief, the possessive tone of his voice a bit more dark and commanding than before.

"I should. But you're a distraction, my love. Quite a big distraction."

"S-shall I sit over there?"

He hums, his touch finally brushing against your core, his smirk widening, his eyes glittering at your words, clearly amused by the way you're already getting worked up from his touch alone, and his words come out in a low, possessive tone.

"No. No, you won't. I want you by my side."

With your fingers shaking, you gently put the cherry on top of his chocolate pudding as he brushes against your core with his slim fingers.

"Mhhh~"

He hums again, a dark smile spreading over his lips at your reaction, your shaking fingers only increasing his possessiveness, and he slowly starts to rub his fingertips against your core, his touch firm, demanding a reaction from you again.

"My, my... Already getting excited, are you, darling?"

"O-only if you eat your pudding too.." you say, an idea forming but unsure if it's a good one. Too shy to ask.

He hums, his eyes watching you as he slowly pushes against your sensitive spot, making you whimper again, before he replies, his voice getting a darker, more demanding tone for a moment.

"Fine then... Anything for my little wife... Just for you, I'll eat the pudding, darling."

"Thank you," you say with a shaking voice.

He hums again, letting out a deep, possessive chuckle at your shaking voice, his fingertips still slowly rubbing against your core, enjoying the way you whimper and gasp at his touch.

"You're welcome, мышка."

"S-shall I... mhh..."

He huffs, noticing your tone change and the way you hesitate, the smirk on his face getting darker and more possessive.

"What is it, darling? Use your words, love. I can't read your mind..."

Liar. That is a lie.

"I... I once read about something called.."

He huffs, his fingers working against your core still, slowly rubbing and circling the sensitive area, his eyes locked on your face, dark and observant, watching your every expression. His hand under the table tightens on your thigh again, holding you firmly in place almost.

"Continue, love. That is a good girl, use your words. I am listening."

"Cockwarming...?"

He hums at your word, once again a dark grin spread over his lips, and immediately, he stops his fingers, his touch pulling away a bit, before he replies, his voice once more taking that possessive tone, almost too demanding.

"Hm…Cockwarming? What a wonderfully filthy little thing my wifey is... Thinking about such lewd, naughty things..."

You blush deeply. "l... I just thought you might like it while eating your p-pudding..."

He huffs, loving the way your blush spreads over your face, his eyes dark and hungry as they roam over you, his smirk widening, and he tightens his touch on your thigh, his voice getting a darker tone again.

"That does sound like a wonderful thought, darling... Why don't you be a good little wife and do it then?"

[aakariiiii]

Hai haiiii! I didn't know if ur requests was open rn or not (if they aren't feel free to ignore this)

But! If they are have you ever thought of something like this for baji?

Ok so imagine baji is walking around town with the rest of toman division leaders and he sees some manga(or ur favorite snack) and he almost admittedly stops everything to get it for you? Like......I would be the happiest soul ngl 😭💓

a/n: hihihiu yess!! my requests r open and im so happy u requested!! i hope u like iy tho !! im actually so happy u requested so thank u n enjoy <333

contains: Baji x Gn!Reader

——————————————————————

Despite the not very painful punches Baji was receiving yet the excruciatingly painful ones he was landing back, for a second, his focus wavered from the brawl and fixated on the cover of the Manga you’ve been talking about non stop.

The sounds of violence and the exertion of grunts faded away into the background as his attention was glued to the cover.

However, a particularly sharp jab brought him back to the reality of the fight, blood trickling down his face. But the image of your elated face, illuminated by the gift he was about to secure for you, eclipsed the pain.

As the skirmish intensified, he dodged and countered, his mind occupied by the vivid picture of you, fingers delicately flipping through the pages of the manga he was determined to obtain for you. His mind was suddenly fuzzy because of the erupting butterflies and flood of warmth caused by the thought of making you smile.

After a couple of punches and grunts, a brief moment of chaos allowed Baji to break free. Ignoring the throb of his body and the yells of his fellow Toman captains, he dashed towards the bookshop. He excitedly grabbed the manga and paid for it, finally emerging amidst a world of chaos and gang fights with the manga in his hand.

It really wasn’t like Baji to ‘back away’ from a fight, but the radiant smile he’d imagined drawn on your ethereal face that’d melt his hardened heart away. The mere thought made every drop of blood and every colourful bruise worth it.

——————————————————————

An interrupting knock invaded your peaceful night. Surely, it isn’t Baji as he told you that he has an important fight today, so who could it be, you asked yourself.

As you open the door, Baji’s tall figure flooded your vision, blood trickling down his handsome face and hinds behind his back. What caught you off guard though, other than the obvious vibrant bruises and cruel cuts that peppered Baji’s smooth skin, was the dashingly crooked grin that’s plastered on his face.

“Did you hit yourself on the head? Why are you smiling like that when you’re full of bruises and blood is trickling down your face? You totally look like a psycho, Kei!” You scrunch your nose, internally cringing at the horrendous state he’s in.

“You look like you came out of a war zone,” you added, furrowing your brows as you assessed his bruised appearance.

“I mighta been in a tussle or two— but I don’t really care—here, this is for you,” he shrugged as he so casually handed you the Manga volume you’ve been talking about for ages but couldn’t afford, making you gasp in surprise.

“Hold up—what? Kei, I’m so confused..what the hell is happening?! Why did my boyfriend show up in blood and then proceeded to surprise with the manga I’ve been talking about for ages—“ you couldn’t resist the smile that is making its way to your face. Such a small gesture truly made you feel like the happiest person on earth.

“Don’ know, it might be because you may or may not have the best boyfriend on the face of this earth,” he shrugged, smirking in a smug way.

You jumped onto your boyfriend, momentarily disregarding his injuries out of excitement, arms tangling around his neck as he snaked his hands around your waist. Although the embrace was truly comforting, he couldn’t help but wince as a sharp pain echoed throughout his body, but he ultimately refused to make it obvious.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” you thanked him excitedly as your lips kissed his bruised face gently, a gesture that eradicated the pain away and made his blood dance in confusion.

A chuckle escaped his lips as you pulled away, offering to clean up that pretty face of his in which he refused because “There is no need, Mikey is probably gonna beat my ass up. You can clean up my face after that,”

“Shush—I’ll make sure he doesn’t,” you say as u lead him to the bathroom to gently tend to his wounds, a mix of tenderness and gratitude enveloped the moment, solidifying the bond between you two in a way words could never capture.

[maybe-your-left]

heavy sigh…. no one asked for this but i’ve been reading too many dad KR fics and have to contribute.

“Have a nice day at school today! Happy Valentines!”

Belle rolled her eyes, closing out of the family text thread. This would not be a nice day at school, it would be the opposite! She-she couldn’t have a good day… it was the dreaded holiday.

Roses, pinks, reds, hearts, chocolates, people handing out cheap pieces of paper to one another in a show of fake affection.

She scoffed at that, the sentiment. Belle was too proud to celebrate such a holiday-no she was a strong, independent woman. Just like her dad said… but today wasn’t going to be a nice day.

Because…

Because…

Because…

She got dumped yesterday!

Belles eyes filled with tears, watery as she locked eyes with her phone screen under her wooden desk. Still the picture of her and her now ex boyfriend donning the front of it. A stupid snapchat filter over their love-how could he do this to her? On the day before Valentines?

She has splurged on a gift for him, a nice wrist watch and some eyeglasses cleaner. Belle always noticed he had smudges on the lenses and wanted him to know that she cared in her own way. But instead he dumped her! Over text!

And now all her friends were saying he was giving roses to some new girl with bigger boobs than her! The absolute disrespect!

And worse than that-she was heartbroken.

Belle couldn’t believe it, that the senior boy she has been seeing had been so cruel to her. After giving him her first kiss, and introducing her to her parents! He still left her, high and dry.

She didn’t even have the chance to cry about it, she didn’t want her parents to know about her being dumped. It would be too embarrassing-after she begged her dad to let her date the guy-practically promising stellar grades for an entire semester and to not talk back in her usual sarcastic tone. It was torture-but she did it for love!

Love?

A stray tear fell down her cheek, quickly wiping it away with her sleeve. Cringing at the foundation streak on her black sweater that it left behind, shit. She would have to fix her makeup in the bathroom, looking a round at her classroom she spied her friends looking at their own phones. Probably texting their boyfriends about there after school make out plans, while all Belle had was volleyball practice.

The loneliness crashed down on her shoulders, causing another wave of tears to overflow. She couldn’t stop it, hoping that Mr. Christensen’s lecture on world war two would drown out her sobs.

*ding*

Belles phone went off in her hand, she quickly scrambled to grab it. Maybe it was him! Saying that he was back in love with her and had a bouquet of roses for her at lunch!

New Message from: Old Man Grumpy Pants 👹

I’m parked in front of the school. Please don’t delay when getting out of class.

Belles face scrunched in confusion, quickly texting off a frowning face. Why is he here? Doesn’t he have work right now? Its a Tuesday afternoon, usually he doesn’t have breaks on days he has patients. Surely Belles mom would’ve said if she had an appointment she could t take her too.

Maybe she had a dentist appointment, or worse, her dad was taking her to the hospital for some freak disorder she had and wasn’t aware of.

Just like her parents, to ambush her.

———

Belle dragged her feet leaving class, ignoring her friends conversations about their boyfriends and giving a side eye to her old boyfriend in the hall giving her a weird look.

She wanted to break down in tears once more when he waved at her while giving a card to that new girl.

Once she stepped outside, her phone started ringing. “Ugh,” she groaned, looking at the screen. Belles friend Violet gave her a look, “What’s wrong?”

“Just my dad calling me-I don’t know what he wants.”

“Why don’t you answer?” She laughed, looking down at her own phone, “Where are we going for lunch, Dustin said he would drive us off campus.”

Belle chewed her cheek, looking at the crowds of teenagers flooding the parking lot. She quickly made eye contact with a vehicle parked idle at the front lot, no one else could own such thing.

“Isn’t that your dad right there?” Violet pointed in the same direction.

Belle whimpered, “Sadly… I think he’s taking me to the dentist.”

“Sucks for you, having to hang out with your dad on Valentine’s day. Doesn’t he like-hate everything?”

Belle shrugged, “Let’s just get this over with.”

The girls followed Belle on the way to the Jeep, dodging sophomores, juniors and seniors. Bumping shoulders with couples left and right, Belle was growing more and more depressed the closer she came.

The window rolled down as she stepped up, grasping the handle. Violet jumped up, huge grin on her face before waving dramatically, “Hi, Dr. Ren!”

“Hello Miss Violet,” Belles dad spoke through the window, “Princess-I told you to be quick and now there’s swarms of teenagers around my car.”

“It’s a high school, dad. There’s gonna be teens,” Belle rolled her eyes, bidding her friends goodbye as she strapped into the seat. Not bothering to give her dad another glance before the sped off.

———

“She looked so sad this morning, you have to go see her today. Take her to lunch, bring her flowers, something. I heard her crying in the bathroom last night.”

Rens grip tightened on the steering wheel as he remembered his conversation with you the night before. Thinking about his baby’s face, drooping and sullen all evening while she adamantly refused to admit what was wrong.

He wanted to snatch her phone from her hands and find out what had happened, but you were right to calm him from that. Belle would never forgive him if he broke that trust.

So, he called his nurse, got all his patients out of the way this morning and took the rest of the day off. To show Belle how much he loved her, and how she should be treated on such a trivial holiday.

His princess deserved it.

He glanced towards the passenger seat, sulking into the black leather was his baby. Dressed in head to toe black, not her normal color palette, and her mascara heavy (that was normal for his teenager). But it looked clumped and messy, like she’d been fighting back tears all day. He couldn’t have that.

Ren cleared his throat, “How was school this morning?”

“Fine.”

“Anything interesting happen?”

“No.”

Silence.

He prompted further, “Did you get anything from your friends? I bought the nursing staff flowers today because your mother told me it would be nice.”

“That’s cool.”

Ren scowled, stopped at the stop light to glare at his child. Deciding to just rip the bandaid off and make her spill what was wrong.

“Did Matt give you flowers today, or is he giving you them after school-“

And suddenly Belle was sobbing.

Uncontrollably.

Ren had no idea what to do, was she broken? Did something happen that he should be made aware of? Did someone hurt her? Hurt his precious little monster?

“Belle, sweetie,” he started, only to make her sob even more, he could barely hear himself think as she wailed into her little hands. This was so much worse than what he was imagining, he thought maybe asking would prompt her to admit that he forgot or something stupid but this was so much worse.

Ren pulled off the road into a Walgreens parking lot, deciding he should comfort her before she became dehydrated. He didn’t want her to be hysterical, the only thing he encountered this type of crying was when you were pregnant with Odin… oh god no.

“Belle are you pregnant?”

“What?” her voice raised an octave, looking at him like he was crazy, “What the fuck dad!?”

“I just have to be sure!”

“No!”

“Then what is wrong? You’re getting your makeup all over the car, and your nose is running, stop wiping your hands on your pants Belle-it’s disgusting!”

And her tears came flowing down again, maybe he was apart of the problem… He looked inward, thinking of how he should approach his hormonal (maybe) teenager.

Ren reached an arm across the console, careful to not startle his child. She flinched at his touch, it was unexpected, he handed embraced her as often as he wanted to as she had gotten older. He began rubbing in soft circles on her shoulder, shushing her as her tears dried down.

“Hush now, there’s no need for that. Its-its going to be alright. Just breathe a little bit,” he placed his left hand over her own, pulling her hands from clawing at her tear streaked face. His heart ached as he looked into the heartbroken eyes of his child, realizing now what had truly happened to make her so hysterical.

“Princess,” he whispered after her tears had died down a little more, “Is there anything you’d like to tell me?”

She shook her head side to side, squeezing her eyes shut in the process.

Ren tried again, “If not, it’s okay. I just want to make sure you’re okay. You know I don’t want you to be hurting like this, especially when you are doing it all alone.”

Belle sniffled, her voice was so small when she finally spoke. “It’s stupid…”

“No, nothing can ever be stupid if it hurts you.”

She nodded, “It’s just,” she took a deep breath, “You know that guy I was kinda dating?”

“Yes,” he growled a little, “The blonde one who wore glasses too big for his face? And called me ‘old man’?”

“Yeah…”

Ren rubbed her shoulder a little more, encouraging her. Belle took another breath, “Well, yesterday he broke up with me.”

His heart sank.

He broke up with her? His little girl? The most wonderful and beautiful girl in the world (aside from you of course), that anyone would be lucky to have grace their presence with? That lanky, big nosed jerk who said his Jeep was stupid that one time, dumped his little precious bundle of joy?

Absolutely not.

Ren quickly leaned across the console, not caring about smothering his daughter but needing to embrace her. No words he could share could lend the wound this silly boy had given her. All Belle needed right now was to know that he was there for her, and that he always would be.

He held onto her for a long time, letting her cry into his shoulder, and smear her too caked on makeup and mascara and snot all into his scrubs. He would wear the mess proudly just so his daughter knew that he was there for her. Ren hummed and shushed and rocked her back and forth as best he could until she tapped her little fingers on his biceps. Whispering out a pained, “I’m okay,” when she was through.

Ren did not take her back to school.

It was not important, instead he took her home. Briefly explaining to you what had happened while Belle washed her face and changed her clothes. You were angry, wanting to go tell the guy off and hold Belle in your arms but Ren talked you down from that ledge.

He took Belle to the nail salon, let her get whatever manicure and pedicure she wanted while he sat and worked on his emails.

Took her out to her favorite diner that serves waffles all day, every day, and watched her eat two servings of ice cream.

Bought her a necklace with a little cheesy heart on it, so she felt like she was loved by him. And she could keep it as a keepsake for when she was older. She wore it proudly out of the jewelry store, smiling down at it while they drove off together.

Ren even let her pick out some flowers at the store, that way she could keep them in her room. And have ones that would be unique to her, not the same bouquet everyone else gets on the holiday.

The two pulled into the garage at the end of the day, looking at one another as he sighed. Holding onto his daughters hand before squeezing it tight.

“I love you, Belle. And I’m sorry your first romance didn’t turn out like you wanted it to.”

She shrugged, squeezing his hand back, “It’s okay, I’m glad I got to spend it with you. I love you too, dad.”

———

:)

i always wanted my dad to take me out of school on valentines but that NEVER HAPPENED.

[emf005]

I'm Trying

Here is my weekly post! I hope you guys enjoy, this is a personal fave of mine. Please let me know what you think of it! I love to get feedback!

Marauders Era

Sirius Black x Fem! Reader, Remus x Twin sister! Reader. Marauders x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, mini make out sesh, sort of self harm, fear

You stole a piece of chocolate from your stash. You always had a secret stash in case you brother, Remus, ever ran out before the full moon. But you also had a bit of a sweet tooth yourself. Well, you could call it more than that actually. See, while your brother was a full werewolf, you were about half, but he didn’t know that. If he knew that he would actually lose it. The only person who knew was Lily, and she had found out by accident.

So, while your brother would always turn into a werewolf on full moons, you only sometimes did. You also got mood swings to the max. But no one ever questioned it because they assumed it was just girl stuff. And the four boys you hung out with, no matter how close you were, didn’t really want to strike up a conversation about that. Ever.

You see, your turning started your second year at Hogwarts. You woke in the forbidden Forest feeling like you had been hit with a ten ton bus. You put two and two together and started to ask Lily’s friend, Severus, if he could brew you a potion in secret. So I guess you could say two people knew. But it wasn’t like Severus would tell on you. You were always nicer to him than your friends were and he seemed to appreciate that. So, he always made you a potion while slughorn made Remus his.

James often asked why you never joined them. While your brother couldn;t become an animagus, you could for some odd reason. You turned into a small black and white ferret, while your brother couldn;t change at all. You felt bad, it was your fault he was like this, and despite his countless times he had told you it wasn’t your fault you both knew it was. But everytime James would ask Remus would answer for you.

“I don;t want her out there. I’m her brother. It's my job to protect her. I wouldn;t be able to live with myself if I accidentally did something to her.” You always clenched your jaw at his response. He still saw you as a little kid, despite being his twin. You couldn’t stand it!

You never thought anyone noticed these secret feelings you held against your brother. Oh how you were wrong. Sirius Black always noticed when Remus would say something to upset you. And he was always the one there for you. See, despite his liking for it, he had caught feelings for you. He thought he could trample them by asking out every girl in the school, but that only seemed to make his want for you grow. But he never said anything. You were his best friend’s twin sister. It was just wrong, no matter how strongly he felt for you.

The full moon was coming up again soon, and you ran down the hall to see your brother and friends waiting for you. Remus looking in his bag frantically.

“Hey, guys!” You smiled with fake cheer. You felt awful today, but you couldn;t let anyone see that. They might grow suspicious of your secret. “What's wrong, Rem?”

“He didn’t restock his backpack again with chocolate.” Peter squeaked. Remus threw him a dirty glance before rooting through his bag again. You internally groaned. You always had a stash in your bag, and you really needed it today. But, you were his sister. Sacrifices must be made. You slung your bag around and grabbed your whole stash and filled his bag with it. You even let him finish the one you had been munching on, much to your disappointment.

“Thank you, Y/N/N,” he said, stuffing the chocolate bar in his mouth. You just smiled at him and put your head down and clutched your messenger bag harder. White knuckling the strap. God, you wanted to rip the chocolate out of his mouth and just eat it. But no. You were a fucking good sister. And a fucking good sister you would stay.

Classes were a pain all day, especially with the smell of chocolate enveloping you every time Remus would open a new package. You had broken four quills by lunch and they were all joking about it.

You all headed out of your final class and down to the great hall, like you normally did. BUt Remus seemed to be in an even worse mode. You were glad he had the chocolate, he might’ve actually murdered someone. You, on the other hand, were so close to murder, but you had to keep that damn smile on and your shirt pulled up high onto your shoulder tightly, despite the heat. That's where Greyback had gotten you. Just a nip on the shoulder before remus thought it was a good idea to attempt to hit him with a chair. Key word, attempt.

Remus was on the end of the line bsides you. Some slytherin accidently knocked into him and he let out a growl as he kept walking and talking to the Huffelpuff. Here we go.

“You got a problem?” He whipped around, staring at the boy clad in green robes. The boy looked at him confused. You recognize him. Your year, Jacob Jemesky. One of the cutest boys in your year. I mean, his eyes alone were perfect enough.

“I’m sorry?” He asked. You put a hand on Remus’s shoulder.

“Rem,” but he shook you off and walked up to the boy.

“I said, you got a problem, Snake?”Your eyes widened and you became red faced. You walked over to him and pulled him away from the Slytherin, shoving him to SIrius and James who held him back and tried to get hima away from the situation.

“I am so sorry about that, Jacob, right?” You nodded a smile on his lips.

“Yeah. And no worries. Your, Y/N, right?” You blushed slightly.

“Yeah. Its nice to finally meet you. We’ve shared a few classes I think.” He nodded before his eyes flashing back to your brother.

“Is he alright? I really didn’t mean to-”

“He’s fine. Trust me. He just gets moody from here and there. I think its like a twin thing between me and him, knowing when one is going to have a bad day and all.” He nodded.

“Well, I have to get going, but I’ll see you around, Y/N.” He waved and started to leave.

“See you around!” You waved back. Your smile dropped as soon as he turned the corner. You took a few deep breaths and walked over to your brother who was still trying to get out of James and Siris’ grips. “You two can let go now.” The boys did as you said but were ready to grab him at any second.

“What the hell was that for, Y/N?” He shouted at you, making your back straighten, ready to take it all. He just had to yell at someone sometimes, and the majority of the time it was you.

“He didn’t do it on purpose, Rem. You know that. You just need to calm down for a second, ok?”

“Calm down? I am calm!” James went to say something but you just shook your head at him. You weren’t going to let them take any of this heat.

“Rem, you're really not. Please just-”

“Don;t tell me what to do, Y/N! I am sick of you trying to constantly manage every little thing that I do. You can’t even begin to understand what I go through! You have no right to tell me to calm down. Or to tell me what I am and what I’m not. You know why? Because I am a fucking werewolf becuase of you,” every bit of air was sucked out of the empty corridor. Luckily empty. But he didn’t stop there. “I took that bite for you! We both know it was your fault! You were too naive to even think for a second that it wasn;t smart to go outside that early in the morning when the moon was still out! It was all yoru fucking fault! So don;t tell me what to do, or how to feel or any of that, because this is all happening because of you!”

You stood frozen as his breath calmed. You had tears slipping down your cheeks which was a strange sight for everyone in your friend group. Yo never cried. But hearing Remus admit that it was your fault, you couldn’t handle it anymore. The dam just broke. You swallowed, trying to get the lump in your throat away.

“Are you better, Remus?” He just stared at you, his eyes turning from rage to fear as he heard what he had said and how you referred to him as Remus and not Rem or bro or some stupid nickname you had given him. You smiled sadly and wiped a tear away. “I’m glad. I’m glad that finally admitting the truth makes you feel better.” You turned and started to walk down the hall only to stop and look over your shoulder. “You know. I just have to say this because I have for a while now. I have always tried my best to be there for you. Always tried to be patient. Always tried to take care of you when you wouldn’t let me do more. And also, I’m not the bloody moron who hit Fenrir Greyback with a chair and didn’t have the arm strength for it and ended up falling out a window!” You spit at him before walking down the hallway, tears streaming down your face at this point.

Remus opened his mouth to call after you, but he saw Sirius bolting after you instead. He had fucked up majorly. He knew it. James took him by the shoulder and directed him towards the Great Hall. James being the only one who knew of Sirius’ crush on you and knowing that Sirius would be able to calm you down better than any of them. And if he couldn’t, then Remus had just gotten himself into a deep deep deep hole.

You sat in the small alcove you had found your first year. It was in a secluded part of the courtyard, only your lily and Sirius knew about it. Which sucked because they knew exactly where to look for you.

Your head was in your knees and silent tears continued to pour down your face and on your knees. You didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know how to feel. You just didn’t know.

“Y/N?” You looked up to see Sirius standing by the entrance of the alcove. He had pushed aside the vines that hid you from view and was watching you, waiting to see what you would do. You sat up quickly and brushed the tears aside, smiling at him.

“Hey, Sirius,” your voice cracked and you cringed. He gave you a small pitiful smile and made you move over so he was sitting next to you. “Is he ok?”

“He will be,” you sighed and rubbed your hands over your face.

“I shouldn’t have stormed off. Or said any of that,” Sirius frowned.

“You know Moony is my best friend, but he started that argument.”

“Yeah but with the full moon coming up… he’s just on edge, and I know that. And he was right, I just didn’t expect him to say it like that. I over reacted.”

“You were just helping out a Slytherin, who you obviously like,” he hit your shoulder and you laughed, you felt your shirt fall down a bit off your shoulder but didn;t go to move it.

“I just find him attractive. That was the first time I've talked to him.” Sirius smiled through his pain and laughed with you. His eyes fell to your shoulder for a moment and he froze.

“Y/N/N, what happened?” He questioned looking at the small mark that the werewolf had left all those years ago. Your eyes widened and you quickly pulled your sleeve back up and cleared your throat standing.

“No-nothing. Um… I-I have to-to… uh.. To go. I’ll-I’ll see you, Sirius. Thank you,” you scurried out of alcove and dashed through the halls. You knew you couldn’t avoid him for long. I mean, the four of them had the marauders map, they would find you anywhere you went. You walked into the Great Hall, thankful to see Lily sitting by James. “Lily!” She looked over at you and her smile fell when she saw the state you were in. She excused herself and came running up to you, leading you out the Hall and to your room.

“Are you ok? James told me the blow out-”

“Sirius saw the scar,” you interrupted her. She froze.

“Does he know?” You shook your head.

“No. But I know he’s going to question me as soon as I’m alone. I just didn't want that to happen.”

“Not yet, you mean.”

“Ever.” She sighed, but didn’t push the subject. She was adamant that you should tell the boys about your… condition. You were adamant that you keep it to yourself, forever.. The fights between you and your twin would get worse, and you couldn’t let that happen.

Sirius walked into the Great Hall, scanning the Gryffindor table for you, he came up empty. He sat down, but kept searching the hall and glancing at the doors every now and then.

“What wrong, Mate?” James asked, taking a bite of his sandwich. Even Remus was eating, slowly, but eating.

“Nothing,” he mumbled and took a banana from the table. If you acted like that around him when he saw that scar, he could only imagine you didn’t want anyone else knowing about it. “Do you have the map?” James nodded and handed over the map from his pocket.

Quickly, Sirius unfolded it and searched for your name. You were in the girls dormitory with Lily. His leg started to bounce while he considered going after you. He could always ask Lily if he could have a second with you. He just wanted to make sure you were alright. You seemed really upset when you stormed out.

Had you always worn long sleeves of some sort?

He handed the map back to James before standing up and heading towards the Gryffindor dorms. Maybe he could lure you out with some chocolate. He knew you were addicted to the stuff, practically eating it for breakfast, lunch and dinner, but you always gave your stash to your brother. Some days he wished you wouldn’t. Just because he noticed how you would stiffen at the smell of it, or when you heard a wrapper from your stash being un-did. He knew Remus needed it, but it seemed like you sometimes needed it just as much as he did.

He bumped into LIly in the common room, he opened his mouth but she held up a hand to silence him.

“Listen, I know you want to check on her. But she isn’t in the best state right now. Especially if you are going to be questioning her about what you saw.”

“I just want to make sure she’s alright. I won’t question her about it.” Lily bit her lip and thought about it for a moment before shaking her head. You had given the last of your chocolate stash to Remus the other day and were in desperate need. But she didn’t want to leave you alone with Sirius in the dorm. He knew how to get into the girl’s dormitory, no shock there, but seldom did it. And normally only did it to bug the hell out of you.

“I’m sorry. It really isn’t the best decision. I have to run out and get her more chocolate from the kitchens, the house elves keep a stash for her down there. Please, don’t go in.”

“I can grab some from Remus’ stash,” he offered. But she shook her head.

“Where do you think the rest of her stash went?” Lily smiled and left. Sirius sat down on one of the couches, his leg bouncing aggressively again. He knew he shouldn’t go into your dorm room. He really shouldn’t. But, the thing is, that only made him want to more.

“Lily?” He heard your voice and looked up and saw you on the staircase, looking worse for wear. Your eyes met his and you froze, visibly freezing.

“Hey,” he scrambled to his feet, but didn’t move towards you.

“H-Hey,” you stuttered, your eyes still locked on him.

“I-uh,” he cleared his throat awkwardly. Why wasn;t he good at being sincere like this? “I came to check on you. See if you were alright.” You eyed him cautiously.

“Uh. Yeah. I-I’m fine.I-uh-well, I can’t exactly explain-” He shook his head.

“You don’t have to.”

“Yeah, but I should. It was rude. And I still haven’t apologized to Rem,” you sighed and sat down on the stair, putting your head in your hands again. He slowly walked over and sat next to you, not talking. He just put his arm around your shoulders. You turned your head into him and he rested his chin on your head.

“You ok?” You let out a breathy laugh. And shook your head.

“Not really.”You heard the clock chime and knew Lily had gone to class and purposefully left you with Sirius, knowing of your… fondness... of him. Damn, you really needed chocolate. “Don’t you have to get to class?” He chuckled.

“When have I ever been on time?” You laughed, knowing how true his statement was. Only when he walked with you was he ever early or on time. Unless it was for transfigurations. He would stand outside the door until class was five minutes in before walking in dramatically, interrupting the entire class, and taking a seat next to you. Mcgonagall would huff in annoyance, but you knew she didn’t hate it. You also knew she knew what he didn everyday and never made any course of action to change it.

“Good point. But we are supposed to have transfiguration now. Don't you think Mcgonagall will miss you?”

“I bet she wouldn’t know what to do without me.”

Meanwhile in transfiguration:

“Ok, Black will be walking through the doors in three, two, one,” Mcgonagall kept talking but looked at the doors and waited for them to bang open with Sirius. Nothing happened. She began to sweat. “Where is he? What is he getting himself into? Did he die? Did someone else accidentally die and he is hiding the body?”

Back to the common room:

“Besides, I think you need a friend right now.” You smiled and nodded. “And chocolate.”

“Did I just get compared to chocolate?” He joked.

“You should be honored. I think very highly of chocolate. In my opinion it's better than christmas.” He laughed.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Christmas comes once a year, chocolate is a year long thing.” he laughed again, and you smiled, proud that you could make him laugh like that. Then your smile faded as you thought if his girlfriend made him laugh like that.

It's not like you would ever date him. You might have a crush on him, but you not only had to keep your secret a secret, but he was also your twin brother’s friend. You couldn’t do that.

“We better get to class.” you lifted your self off him, both of you immediately missing the other person’s body heat. “Mcgongall probably thinks you killed someone.” he gave you a small smile as you ran up to your room to grab your bag. He grabbed his from the couch where he had set it. He slung it over his shoulder and you came running down the stairs, skipping the last four. “Ready?” You asked, your normal smile on your face. He smirked.

“Talking to me for a few minutes put that smile on your face?” He teased as you made your way out of the portal.

“No, I found a few bars of chocolate under my bed.” You said happily, pulling two bars out of your pocket. He rolled his eyes as you opened one and handed it to him. He stared at it for a moment before taking it.

“You don’t want it?”

“I might’ve found four and ate two while coming down the stairs.” He laughed and took a bite of his. You unwrapped yours and started eating away at it. You two made your way into Mcgonagall’s class, Sirius banging the door open.

“Minnie! Did you miss me?” He shouted. You shook your head and laughed as Mcgonagall just stared daggers at him. The class erupted into laughter, but stifled it at one glare from the professor.

“Mr. Black. How kind of you to join us. Same goes for you as well, Miss. Lupin,” her gaze was less harsh on you, but you still blushed and put your head down. You two slid into your seats and began to take notes. Luckily it had been a review day. And Sirius was a master at transfigurations, so he would help you after class since it, ironically, wasn’t your best subject(And by that I mean you were still a crazy master, just not your best class).

You two spent the lesson showing the other students up as you easily changed everything and answered questions correctly. Lily was even struggling a bit at the rate you and Sirius were commenting. Of course, yours were more sincere than Sirius’ sarcastic answers (that were always correct in some sense) but you two still ruled the lesson.

You all left the lesson, you headed down to the dungeons for potions with Remus and James while Peter, Sirius and Lily went to divinations. It was a tense silence, you walking ahead of the boys with your head down and your books pressed against your chest. James joined you in front which you were grateful for, but you knew he was trying to get you to talk to Remus. You just needed a little while, and you told him as much. He just nodded and continued walking with you to potions. You sat towards the back of the class and left Remus and James to sit in your usual spots. Someone sat besides you and you were about to ask them to move when you noticed it was Jacob.

“Hey!” You smiled kindly at the slytherin sitting beside you.

“Hi. I forgot we shared this class. You don’t mind if I?” You shook your head.

“No, of course not.” He smiled.

“You're normally sitting next to Lupin and Potter, right?”

“Yeah. Remus is my twin and we kind of just got the same group of friends. Surprising, right?" You chuckled and he chuckled with you. Slughorn began to teach and the two of you went to work on the assignment together. It wasn't a hard potion today. At least for you it wasn’t. Potions was your best class, although Slughorn was a terrible teacher. Well, it actually wasn't your best subject. That was defense against the dark arts. Potions was a close second.

"Alright class, for your next assignment you will be working with the person at your table for. You will be brewing and writing on a potion I will randomly select for each of you," you looked over at Jacob with a smile.

"Looks like we're partners," you beamed. He smiled back excitedly.

"Looks like it, Lupin. I'll start cleaning up, why don't you go up and get our assignment?" He suggested. You nodded and headed to the front, meeting James on the way.

"You and Jacob?"

"Yeah. He's pretty good at it, so whatever potion we get should be a piece of cake." You smiled up at him. He only offered you a small one in return, making you falter in confusion.

What was that about?

He went back to his table with your brother and you walked up to Slughorn.

"Ah, miss. Lupin! I was surprised to see you not with your brother."

"We had a bit of a disagreement earlier. I'm Jacobs' partner. What potion would you like us to complete?" He looked at you for a moment before his face lit up with an idea.

"How about amortentia? Yes, that would suit you two nicely,” he declared. You rolled your eyes. That was the cheesiest potion he could have given you.

“Sounds great, professor! I’ll tell Jacob and we’ll get to work on it right away,” you turned and sulked back to your table. He noticed the look on your face.

“What did he give us?”

“Amortentia.” Jacob rolled his eyes.

“Honestly? How many times has he given that out to students, can’t he be the least bit more creative?” You chuckled and grabbed your bag from the back of your chair and clung it over your shoulder before gathering your notebook.

“I completely agree. So, how about we meet in the library tomorrow to start on the paper and divy up the work?”

“Sounds good to me!” He smiled as you two walked out of the classroom, chatting a bit more as you left. You were so caught up in your conversation with Jacob you missed a black haired boy waiting for the three of you. He was leaning up against the wall, as he normally did, with his hands in his pockets and his bag by his one foot. The sight of you walking out with Jacob made him freeze and just stop breathing all together.

James and Remus followed the two of you out a few seconds later, not paying any attention to what was going on with you as you laughed at something he had said. You were just standing in the middle of the hallway. What was that about?

“Sirius!” He snapped out of his trance when James’ voice cut through the air.

“Mmh?” He looked at Remus and James, who both had a worried look on their faces.

“You ok? You zoned out for about four minutes straight.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. What’s your sister doing hanging out with that Slytherin you told to piss off earlier?” Remus whipped around and stared at you as you laughed again, his eyes narrowing dangerously at the Slytherin boy. He was the reason you two were fighting in the first place. That was a lie and Remus knew it, but that didn’t mean he had to admit it.

”She’s partnered with him for the project,” James clarified, causing both Sirius and Remus to look at him.

“He sat beside her,” Remus practically growled, tossing another glance as you waved goodbye to him and he did the same.

“What did you expect when she didn’t want to sit by us? He obviously took a liking to her earlier in the hall.”

“Why didn’t she sit by you?” Sirius asked. “You two didn’t make up yet?” Remus grumbled something that no one could hear, but they didn’t really care. You started walking over, ignoring your brother’s presence all together.

“Hey, Sirius. Hey James. Ready to head to dinner?” It was quiet for a few seconds, Remus just staring at you.

“Yeah,” James finally broke the silence. “Lets-uh-let's get to dinner. Quickly.” He took you by your shoulder and started to rush you to the dining hall.

Nothing improved over the week. The full moon was coming closer, making both you and Remus even more on edge. The two of you had attempted to make up, but that just resulted in another, bigger, blow out. James and Peter had to hold Remus back as Sirius and Lily had to hold you back. Both of you were about to pumble each other. You finally threw a very nasty statement at him before storming up to your common room. In your defense he deserved it.

You started to distance yourself from all the Marauders, even Lily in some ways as you focused on your studies. You met Jacob in the library every day to work on your potion’s assignment, which seemed to get Sirius and Remus both in a twist, though one was better at hiding it than the other. That was when the third blow up happened. The day of the full moon.

“I can’t believe you are hanging around that Slytherin.” Remus spit out to you as you were all sitting in the common room before lunch. It was Saturday and none of you felt much like going outside since you would be out all night.

“Excuse me?” You asked with raised eyebrows, putting the book you were studying out of down.

“You heard me.”

“I did, and since when have you cared? Not like you've been in my life much,” you spat. He clenched his jaw and stared at you, all of your friends ready to jump in case you got into another fight.

“Since it's a blasted Sytherin.”

“That's not even a fair judgment. Have you ever even talked to him?”

“Why would I? A pretty boy pure blood who comes from a rich family?” he scoffed. “Sounds like a fun time.” You bristled.

“You just described Sirius!” You yelled. You turned to Sirius. “No offense, of course,” he held up his hands.

“You called me pretty, I’m happy.” You rolled your eyes at him, not helping the butterflies in your stomach when he said that.

“Yeah, but he isn’t a Slytherin!”

“You're condemning all Slytherins to being evil now?”

“Aren’t they?” you were both on your feet now, causing everyone else to join you.

“No you ignoramus! And if you could see two inches past your fucking nose, then you would know that!”

“Name one person other than your precious boyfriend!”

“Slughorn!”

“Bet you can;t do it again.” He challenged. You sneered.

“Snape!” He laughed.

“Really? Him? You decide that he is not evil? Have you seen him?”

“Have you looked in the mirror much? You aren’t the model yourself!” He sneered.

“How about you?”

“What about me?:��

“You look as bad as I do, dare I say worse! And your chocolate consumption has become twenty times it normally is! Now you are hanging around a Slytherin and constantly fighting with me!”

“Me-” you laughed harshly and dramatically. Making it sound almost hysterical and mad. “Your the one who picks the fucking fight everytime!”

“Becuase you make stupid descions!”

“Like hitting a beast in the back with a chair from the top of a two story house?”

“Y/N,” Lily warned from beside you.

“To only save your arse from becoming what I am!”

“Yeah, well, bang up job, Remus Lupin! A for effort I suppose!”

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

“Silencio!” Lily yelled, pointing her wand at you. You yelled a string of curses at her and your brother before storming out of the common area. She shot Remus a glare, something that didn’t happen often.

“You know, she’s going to Hogsmead with him next weekend. I suggest you get your act together before then and actually support something your sister is doing before you remove her from your life completely,” she hissed and chased after you. All the boys were frozen from, not only Lily’s scolding, but the fact that you were going to Hogsmead with him. Sirius felt ill and just stood in place, frozen.

“Great,” James mumbled. “They’re both broken now. At least we are ok, Peter,” He looked over to where Peter had been standing. Now the boy was passed out on the ground. James sighed and shook his head. “Never mind.”

Lily found you in your normal spot, silently crying to yourself. She removed the spell and your sobs were so loud she almost silenced you again. She sat down besides you, but you made no move to put your head on her shoulder like you normally did.

She knew you didn’t want to talk to her right now. She knew it was Sirius that you wanted to speak to, but you had just announced that you were going to Hogsmead with Jacob. Sirius was trying to get over that fact.

“We should probably go meet Sev,” she murmured in your ear. “The potion will make you feel better.” You just shook your head and tried to catch your breath.

“I-I’m fine. I just… I just need a minute.”

“You are going to hate me for saying this, but you need to make up with your brother and tell Sirius how you feel. You made it seem like you and Jacob were going on a date when you know that's not what's happening.” She scolded. You nodded your head, not being able to catch your breath from how hot you were, especially with all the clothes you had on.

“Can-can you help me get the jacket off? Please?” She nodded and started to pull at the sleeve, revealing an arm full of scars. You pulled the other sleeve off, prevailing a second arm full of scars. Your breathing slowed and you were finally able to catch your breath.

You quickly wiped the tears from your eyes.

“I didn’t let anything slip. They-they don;t know anything, right?”

“I almost let you. But that wasn’t the right way to do it.” You nodded gratefully, tracing some of the scars on your arm. You were more on edge today, but, for once, you don;t think chocolate would help. But that was only because of Remus’ comment earlier.

“We should probably get your potion from Sev. I have a feeling tonight's going to be one of your… worse… ones.” You nodded, feeling it too. This wasn;t just going to be an irritating night, this was going to be a full on transformation.

“I’ll have to tie myself down in the Room of Requirement tonight,” you nodded, agreeing.

“I don’t see why you tie yourself down. You take the potion.”

“What if it doesn’t work one night? You are going to have a second werewolf around and on the grounds. It's better if I just tie myself up and be prepared.” She sighed, knowing you wouldn’t see reason in this.

“Will you at least let me be in there with you?”

“Merlin, Lily! No! Are you mad?”

“Remus at least has-”

“And Remus is a normal werewolf. I am not. Something could go wrong at any moment and I am not letting anyone get remotely close to me. You know that!”

“I’m just saying-”

“No!” her eyes widened as you snapped at her. “It's not happening, so stop asking,” you stood up and walked out of the alcove in a huff, leaving her slightly stunned, your jacket sitting where you had once occupied. She thought about going after you and giving it back, but maybe this was what you needed. Someone else to know your secret.

You realized too late that you had forgotten your jacket and turned around to get it when you heard Sirius.

“Y/N! Wait a minute!” You froze before bolting in the direction towards the alcove you knew your jacket would be in. “Y/N!” He called after you again, his voice getting closer. You pushed yourself to run faster, only making you trip over your feet in the process and tumble to the ground with a cry. You were so close to your jacket. But Sirius caught up and froze when he saw your arms. His mouth opened and closed quickly.

You grabbed him and shoved him into an empty classroom, locking the door behind you and turning back to him. He was still staring at your arms and you sighed in frustration, letting a long string of profanities fall from your lips and you paced the room, pulling the skin from your lips, trying to figure out what to do.

You could obliviate him. Of course, that wasn’t the best course of action. You really didn’t want to obliviate your best friend. While you were thinking he came back to his senses.

“Y/N?”

“Mh?” You hummed, still thinking about what to do. He grabbed you and turned you towards him.

“Y/N.”

“Yeah?” His eyes scanned your arms.

“What happened?” You bit your lip and continued to pull it apart with your teeth. WHat could you tell him? “Y/N?”

“You're gonna kill me,” you mumbled and closed your eyes moving away from him and running your hand over your face.

“I-I won’t. Just-”

“I can’t, Sirius. I can’t tell you.” You looked back towards him with nothing but sorrow in your eyes. “I’m sorry. I just can’t tell you.” Then the pieces fit together. Your mood swings during the full moons, you always carrying chocolate and your ears always perking when you heard the wrapper. The way you “just knew” when someone was close by or something was headed your way.

“Please don’t tell me-”

“Please don’t worry about it,” you begged.

“I am staring at your scared arms. How am I not supposed to worry about it?” He raised his voice. It wasn’t a yell, but it still made you flinch. He noticed and lowered his voice again. “Y/N, I need you to tell me the truth here,” you looked down and he walked closer to you. Careful steps. Very careful steps. “That night Remus got turned into a werewolf, did he-” you nodded. Tears welling in your eyes. “But you can transform into an animagus.” You swallowed the lump in your throat.

“I’m not a full one. I get testy around the full moon, but don’t always turn. And I carry the chocolate for Remus, mostly.” He shook his head.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“Because Remus has it ten times worse than me. Please don’t tell him,” you begged.

“Don’t tell him? How am I supposed to not tell him?”

“By keeping your mouth shut?” You attempted the joke, but he just shook his head at you. “Please. I am begging you, Sirius. I really need to meet Sev and I need my jacket an-”

“Snape?” You looked away and bit your lip. “Why do you…”

“He’s the best one at potions in our year. He was the only one who can, well, you know.”

“That's why you protected him when Remus said that stuff about Slytherins.”

“He’s helped me out since second year. And with all the turmoil happening between me and everyone, tonights going to be bad. I really need to get the potion off him. Like now. Please, I will tell you everything later, just please let me go and please don’t tell Remus.” His leg bounced as he stared at you from the table he sat down at. He shrugged off his own jacket and threw it over your shoulders.

“Get your potion. I expect everything to be explained tomorrow and I will not tell your brother, yet.” You smiled and hugged him, throwing your arms around his neck.

“Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you.” You mumbled into his neck as he hugged you back.

“Yeah yeah. Just be careful, ok?” he set you firmly on the ground again. “Promise me.” You nodded and slid your hands through the arm holes of his jacket. It was far too big for you, but you didn’t really care. First off because it was hiding your scars. Second off, you had Sirius Black’s jacket on, and that may or may not have made your heart beat out of your chest. And then if you add the way he was looking at you on top of that, you were dead.

“I promise. Thank you, Sirius. You are a life saviour.” You left the room and he stood staring at that door, cursing himself and needed to find Lily, pronto.

“Evans!” He yelled into the great hall where the red head was sitting. She looked over at him with an eye roll, but then noticed his serious expression. Which was, ironically, something he rarely had on his face. She stood up and scurried over to him and he pulled her out of the great hall. “You knew, didn;t you? About Y/N.” She shrugged, guilty.

“She made me swear to secrecy. Do you know where she went? She got mad at me and stomped off without her jacket. I’m assuming you-”

“Saw her hundreds of scars? Yes.”

“She showed you all of them” She creased her eyebrows and his eyes narrowed.

“All? Where is all?” Lily swallowed.

“Everywhere?” His eyes flickered down the hall, almost as if he were looking for you.

“Why does she have more than Remus?”

“Her body heals differently and she didn’t have the ointment he gets from the hospital wing, despite my persistent begging for her to get it.”

“Does her boyfriend know about this?”

“Her what?”

“Jacob. The Slytherin.”

“Sirius, they aren’t dating.”

“But he’s taking her to Hogsmead.”

“To help him pick out a gift for his little sister’s birthday. I said that in the heat of the moment. She was pissed at Remus. Please, don’t make her feel worse about keeping this a secret. And no, she just met him a week ago. She’s known Remus since she was born and you since everywhere in between.” Sirius looked down the hall again before back at Lily.

“Is there anything I can do?”

“Do not tell Remus until after the full moon tonight. They are both on edge and it's not going to be a pretty fight.” Sirius nodded, recalling how badly he had wanted to yell at her for not telling them about this.

“Anything else?”

“Go easy on her. It had to of taken a lot of guts not to obliviate you on the spot.” Sirius nodded, knowing she had contemplated it for a split second.

“Yeah, ok. I can do that.”

“Thank you, Sirius. You're a good friend.” He scoffed.

“Tell that to Mooney when he’s beating the daylights out of me.” Lily put a hand on his shoulder before disappearing back into the Great Hall. “He’s gonna kill me for this,” Sirius mumbled before following her into the hall.

You had just finished tying the ropes onto your arms. They were charmed so no matter what tugged at them they would hold you in place until the full moon was over. You had tied them extra tight tonight for precaution. Lily walked in with her arms full of chocolate and some other food for before and after the full moon.

“Do you have to tie them so tight?”

“Yes,” You grunted as you pulled one more time to triple check if they were tight enough.

“Sirius pulled me aside today,” she hummed slightly and took a seat in front of you on the floor. You glanced at his jacket.

“Speaking of,” you said before she could say anything. “Can you return his jacket? I don’t want it to get ruined or anything and I didn’t see him before I came here.”

“You didn;t see him because you didn’t want to. You can’t avoid him or telling our friends about this.”

“Yeah, but I can put it off for as long as possible.” She shook her head at you.

“You are unbelievable.”

“Yep. Can you pass some chocolate over please.” She started to grab it but you changed your mind. “Actually, just hand me the grapes.” She paused and looked up at you.

“Is this about what Remus said?” You looked away from her. “Y/N/N. Is this about what Remus said?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“He didn’t mean-”

“Yeah he did. My brother may be a lot of things, but a liar isn’t one of them. Especially during a full moon.”

“Well, I’m sure he didn’t mean it the way it came out.”

“I’m pretty sure he did.” She just shook her head and handed you the chocolate which you reluctantly (not really) took and began to devour.

“You should get out of here, Lily. It’ll be starting in a little.”

“You took the potion?” You nodded and gestured to an empty vile a few feet away from you. She picked it up and gathered Sirius’s coat. “Are you sure you’ll be ok?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Thanks again, Lily. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow, Y/N.” And then she left, leaving you to munch on chocolate in the deafening silence. Counting the seconds until it would begin.

Lily stepped through the doors and back into the hallway, she looked at Sirius who was leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets.

“I’m going to murder Remus later,” she grumbled and walked down the hall. Sirius jogged after her.

“Why?”

“Here’s your jacket. You know that comment he made about her eating a lot of chocolate?” Sirius took his jacket back and nodded. “She took it to heart and doesn’t want to eat it any more. Well, as much as she normally does. And it makes her feel as close to as hundred percent as she can get around this time.” Sirius frowned. “You know, she cares so much about Remus, and I really don’t think he gets that,” Lily shook her head.

“I think you may be right,” Sirius mumbled and looked back down the hallway the two of them had just come from.

You woke on the floor in the Room. The floor was ice cold and your clothes were in shreds and were hanging onto your body loosely. You were bleeding here and there and sat back, rubbing the back of your neck you groan. You could see the sun was rising from the window the room always provided you.

You glanced at the pile of chocolate and went to get it before you untied yourself but stopped. No. You didn’t need anything right now. You’d be fine.

You undid the rope on your arms and legs. You held your wrists carefully, they were bruised and splattered with dry blood from you tugging at them and flinched every time you ran your hand over an open cut.

Shaking yourself, you stood up and grabbed a fresh set of clothes and your “Journal”. After every full moon you would write down what you remembered, just to get it out of your head. You never talked about it, like your brother did. He really didn;t have to, but you knew that he always needed to get it out to. So instead of making his friends hear it since they were already there with him, he told you.

You quickly rinsed the blood off yourself to the best of your ability until you could take a shower, and tossed on a pair of oversized sweatpants and a tank top with a jacket. The room had provided you with a couch, which you gratefully took with a book, your journal, and some of the non-chocolate food Lily had brought with her yesterday. It would be a while until you would be mentaly fine enough to leave.

Remus was in the medical wing sleeping, three of the four boys asleep in the uncomfortable chairs that surrounded his bed, as usual. Madame Pomfrey had been up and had been ready to tend to Remus’ wounds as usual and had left him and the boys to sleep. James and Peter found it easy to slip into sleep for the rest of the morning, but Sirius found it harder than normal, and he knew it was because of you.

After his ninth attempt to fall asleep he rose and left the room, a silent nod to the healer sitting at her cabinet and writing something, before he left through the doors and quickly made his way to the Room of Requirement.

No one was up yet, he didn’t even know if you were. But he knew no one should have to go through that alone, which you obviously had been doing since second year. It just didn’t sit right with him. He stopped at the wall leading to the Room of Requirement and waited for doors to form. Which they did. He opened the door quietly and stepped in to see you on the couch you looked up, expecting Lily.

“Sirius?”

“Hey.”

“How’d you know where I was?”

“Lily.”

“Right. Well, shouldn’t you be asleep in the hospital wing then?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” He shrugged and sat on the couch you were occupying. “Studying?” You shrugged and moved some of your notes, still not emotionally or mentaly stable enough to deal with people. But because it was him, and your emotions were still in a knot of confusion, you let him stay.

Did your heart always beat this fast when he was this close?

“Did you get your jacket back?” You picked up a piece of chocolate. “Chocolate?” He grabbed the bar and opened it.

“Yeah, Lily gave it back to me yesterday. I was a little disappointed not to see you before the full moon.” You shrugged and ate a strawberry, eyeing Sirius’s chocolate with want, but resisted opening your own.

“I took the potion and rushed in here to get ready,” you motioned to the ropes on the ground; you hadn’t had the energy to clean it up yet.

“Ropes?” His gaze flickered between you, the ropes and your hands, which you were playing with nervously. “You… tie yourself down?” He looked almost horrified.

“Yeah,” you looked at the wall. “Precautions. I don’t take them lightly.” He didn’t know what to say to that. He knew Remus was cautions about this but tying yourself up like that while you went through the agony of transforming?

“Let me see your hands,” he reached out to you, but the motion only made you bring them into yourself. You got shit from Lily when she saw them, you didn’t need that twice. “Y/N, please.” You swallowed and handed them to him. His leg started to bounce at the new, red marks on your wrists.

“It-it's really fine.” you tried to pull them back, but he didn’t let you. He didn’t look up at you and you waited for him to start yelling. Lily always did.

“How bad does it hurt?” You were shocked by the amount of kindness in his voice. You swallowed.

“Uh-not terribly. I mean, my wrists are kind of used to getting torn up like this, so I mean…” You bit your lip and tried to peel the layers off. “I mean, I guess it kind of stings. ANd my back kind aches, but uh��� its.. Uh.. fine.”

“Why don’t you go to the hospital wing?”

“Because you guys and Remus are there. If I showed up every full moon when you were all there, it would be a bit suspicious, don’t ya think?”

“Yes, but you’re injured.” You shrugged sadly.

“I've had worse than a few rope burns. I mean, you’ve seen my arms.”

“And Lily said that's not even close to the end of your scars,” you flinched slightly. Which was he talking about? Mentaly or physically?

You knew this wasn;t the moment to be exactly thinking it, but damn when he wanted to he could literally be so gentle and it made you want to burst.

“Yeah. Before the potion and figuring out the rope charm it was pretty bumpy. I mean, it's still not exactly smooth sailing, but- I’m rambling now,” you shook your head and pulled your hands away from him, tucking your hands into your sleeves.

“Have you eaten any chocolate yet?” He asked, rising and making his way to the pile on the floor.

“I haven’t really felt like it,” you shrugged, not even attempting to make the lie seem real. He rolled his eyes and started rifling through the bars.

“Liar.” He grabbed one and tossed it to you. “Here. Eat this, you’ll feel better.”

“I’m fine, Sirius. Really.” You poked at the bar a few times, contemplating taking it. “You look exhausted though. You were out with my brother all night, you should get some sleep.”

“So should you.” You rolled your eyes and looked back down at the potions book in your hands.

“I have to study for this potions assignment with Jacob. I’ve been too distracted with this past full moon.”

“Yes I can see how turning into a werewolf would be distracting,” he scoffed and took the book from your hands.

“Sirius,” you whined.

“What potion did you even get?” His face fell a bit when he noticed the love potion on the page. The majority of the students who did this potion together ended up together.

“It's easy, but a lot of information,” you sighed and grabbed the book back. “I mean, not easy easy. But its,” you shook your head. “Never mind. Forget it,” you sighed and ran your hands over your face.

“Who do you think you're gonna smell?” He asked, leaning back casually, even though he hated himself for asking.

“Probably no none. And the person I hope I smell, well I doubt they'd even consider me,” you rolled your eyes. “I’ll probably smell chocolate and lavender. Or something like that.” But in your head you weren;t thinking about chocolate and lavender. Ok, that was a lie. You were thinking about chocolate, it was right in front of you and your sensitive sense of smell was amplifying it. But you were really expecting to smell was the boy sitting next to you. And you knew you wouldn’t mix his scent with anyone else's.

“Heh. They’d be crazy not to, love.” You blushed but buried your head into your book further. He looked over at you and bounced his leg a few more times.

“You should probably get back to Rem. I’ll probably follow you a bit later to check in on him and give him some chocolate.” He frowned.

“Shouldn;t you be eating all this?”

“I only normally eat a few pieces and give the rest to him. He has it worse than me.” You shrugged. “He deserves it more.”

“And aren’t you supposed to be mad at him?” You shrugged again.

“How my full moons go are based on my emotions. It's better to make up with him. Make everything go back to normal, like it normally does when we get into an argument.”

“Ok, but it wasn;t fair the way he treated you. I know he was on edge, but-”

“Sirius, it's fine. Really. We were both just on edge. And it was fair. I mean, not the Slytherin comments, but the rest of it was.”

“Will you at least eat something before you go? Or get some sleep?”

“I slept plenty after my transformation and I ate lots.”

“Chocolate,” He said exasperatedly. “Eat some chocolate.” You took the bar of chocolate he had given you and took a bite out of it.

“Never thought someone would have to make me eat chocolate.”

“Never thought I’d have to make you,” you frowned, thinking back to your twin's comment.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you would just eat it without even thinking. Ever since Remus made that comment-”

“Rightfully said,” you hummed cutting him off. He sighed and took your book again, kneeling in front of you.

“Why do you care so much about what he says? Especially when he’s not himself?”

“Because I need to make him feel happier. He’s like this because of me. Because of my mistake to want to see the stars he’s in pain.”

“And so are you. Why do you keep torturing yourself?”

“I’m not. I just… I don’t know. God I’m such a mess afterwards,” you groaned, tears pricking your eyes.

“Yeah, well, that's expected,” he smirked and it made you give hima laugh-sob in reply. “Here,” he urged, handing you the half finished chocolate bar. You took a desperate few bites out of it and let the tears fall. He wiped them away quickly and let his hand fall on your knee. “Better?” you nodded and wiped your face to rid it of any chocolate.

“Yeah, sor-”

“Don’t apologize. You should sleep. You look absolutely horrid,” you laughed pitifully and nodded, finally admitting to your exhaustion.

“Yeah, ok. You might be right.”

“Might be? I’m always right.” You laughed again and went to stand up.

“Yeah yeah. Alright. You're always right. I’ll sleep after I make sure Remus is alright.” You promised.

He wanted to argue but knew he wouldn’t win.

“Alright. Come on. Then I’m taking you straight to the dorm room.”

“I have to clean up first. Go ahead, I’ll follow.” He shook his head.

“I’ll come back later and do it.”

“Sirius-”

“No arguing. Come on,” he dragged you out of the room. You visited your brother who was still asleep. James and Peter were up and waiting for Remus to wake up. Once you saw him Sirius dragged you out and to your dorm room forcing you to go to sleep or he would make you eat chocolate until you turned into it. You gladly fell into a dreamless sleep, unknowing of him wrapping your wrists since you were such a heavy sleeper.

You woke up on Monday when Lily shook you awake for class. You could tell she felt bad about it, but you assured her it was fine. You noticed your hands were wrapped and wondered who had done it. That's when you noticed your stomach growling. Quickly you got dressed and shoved chocolate into your bag for Remus and ran down to the Great Hall where everyone already was. You took your usual seat in between Remus and Sirius.

“Hey!” You said cheerfully and grabbed some food and put it on your plate. “Rem, could you pass me the chocolate chip muffins please?” He did so as if nothing was wrong and even bumped your shoulder with his. Sirius just watched, not understanding how your three huge fights could so easily turn back to this. All your classes went as usual, even lunch went well.

Then it was time for potions. You walked in with James and Remus but had to make your way to Jacob instead of sitting with them. You had decided it would be fair to split the research and then have him write the essay while you made the potion.

“Hey Jacob!” You smiled brightly at the Slytherin.

“Hello, Y/N. You have your half of the research?” You nodded and handed him your papers. Excellent. Should we get started then?”

“Sounds good to me! Who do you think you’ll smell?” He glanced over at a hufflepuff with bright red hair across the room.

“I hope I know who.” You smiled. “You?” You blushed.

“I wish. I mean, I have an idea, but they’ll never like me back, especially now.” He shook his head.

“You're super cool, Y/N/N. They’d be insane not to.”

“Thanks, Jacob. Let's get to it then?”

“Lets!” For the rest of class the two of you worked, quietly chatting occasionally as you finished the project together. You heard an explosion and glanced up and Remus and James who were just staring at their cauldron. James obviously being the one who added the wrong ingredient. You snorted and went back to your own potion mixing it together carefully, the brew being the perfect shade of pink. He sat up in his seat and looked at you wide eyed. “It's finished?”

You smiled. “You smell it already? It still has a few hours of brewing.” He nodded. He looked over to the hufflepuff boy.

“Yeah. I can smell it. You?” You swallowed and took a whiff.

Gasoline, smoke, cinnamon apples and chocolate. God that was it. That was him.

“Yeah,” you sighed. “Yeah I smell it.” Slughorn came over and looked into the cauldron.

“My my, looks like you two are finished already! Is your essay finished as well?” You looked over at Jacob who wrote a few more things down and handed it to Slughorn who skimmed it, seeming to be happy with it. “Splendid splendid. Well done you two. You can be finished for today. As a matter of fact, everyone is dismissed if you feel like you are finished. We will be continuing this tomorrow and then they will be due the next day.” The class erupted into chatter and the Hufflepuff boy came over, Jacob held his breath as he stopped in front of him smelling the air. He looked over at him, lust blown eyes.

He bit his lip and sauntered out of the room with a swing to his hips, glancing back at him before leaving the door. You chuckled as he just stared, gawking.

“Go get him, Lover boy!” He grinned at you and ran out of the room after the Hufflepuff. You cleaned up as the room emptied. You told Remus and James to go on without you to lunch. You would be there for a few minutes.

You continued to clean up the station, not bothering to stop smelling your potion, the scent put you at ease. It always did. And you really needed to be at ease right then.

You walked back over to your workbench to see Sirius entering the room.

“Hey, Sirius!” You smiled and he smiled back before stopping, smelling the air. He looked at the potion, swallowed and then back at you. You frowned and went back to cleaning up, making sure not to look at him. But you couldn’t help but wonder who he was smelling. It was clearly not you.

He began to help you clean up and the air was suddenly tense between you. And you just couldn’t take it anymore.

“So, who do you smell?” You asked, jumping onto the work table and cocking your head at him. He shrugged. “Come on, I want to know. As your best friend, I have a right to know.” He hummed in response and inclined his head.

“Just like how I had a right to know your secret?” You looked away.

“I said I was sorry. I just, I was scared if it got out that Remus would find out. I just didn’t want Remus to know that he got turned and I got turned. I would have much rather it been me and only me rather than the both of us.”

“I would've rather it be neither of you,” you smiled up at him.

“Yeah, same. So who do you smell?”

“Why don;t you tell me?” he countered and you chewed your lip. “Come on, just tell me,” he got closer to you, smiling as he glanced up at him. You have no idea where the rush of courage came from. But it came.

“You,” you shrugged, he went wide eyed and stepped back, coughing.

“M-me?” You shrugged, playing it off.

“You,” he smirked at you, composing himself again.

“And what exactly do I smell like?” He asked, placing a hand on either side of your body. You thought about it for a moment, but you knew. Even without him right in front of you and the potion right beside you, you knew.

“Gasoline and smoke from that motorcycle you always work on, Cinnamon and apples because though you’d never admit it they are your favorite, and chocolate because you're always around me or Rem.” he stared at you. You narrowed your eyes at him. “Who do you smell?” It took him a moment to find his voice, and each second he took you waited in agony. What if you just confessed to your best friend and he didn’t like you back. But he smiled after a moment.

“You,” he replied simply, making your eyes go wide. You had been hoping, but it was actually the last thing you had expected to hear.

“An-and what exactly do I smell like?”

“Lavender, from that motorizer you always wear before you go to sleep, chocolate because you practically survive on the stuff- which is adorable-, and ink because you are constantly spilling it all over the place,” as he spoke his voice had gotten lower and lower, and with his voice his gaze also dropped. It dropped all the way down to your lips which you were playing with.

“Wo-wow,” you stuttered out, not knowing how to react. WHat do you do? You were panicking. And before you could say anything or do anything, his lips were on yours and he was standing in between your legs. His mouth was warm on yours and you wrapped your arms around his neck bringing him closer as he brought his hands to your hips to bring you closer. But then a familiar thought rang through your head.

You don’t deserve this…

“Sirius, wait,” you pulled away and he leaned away from you, his hands still on your hips, he looked at you curiously.

“What's wrong?”

“I-I don’t deserve this. I-I can’t put you through this.” He scrunched his eyebrows together.

“What do you mean?” You buried your head in your hands and shook your head. Headache was approaching and you needed your chocolate. After the full moon was never as bad as before, but that didn’t mean you didn’t have your share of problems.

Sirius seemed to sense your need for chocolate because he dove into your bag and pulled out a piece, unwrapping it for you. He handed it to you and you took it gratefully.

“Can you explain what you meant?”

“You deserve better than me. I mean. You're you. And who am I? I’m a weirdo screw up who got her brother bitten by a werewolf.”

“No,” he pulled your face back up to his and looked at you. “You are perfect. I have had a crush on you since second year. And I’ll be damned if I let your insecurities get in the way of me taking care of you.”

“But-”

He shoved the chocolate back into your mouth, shaking his head.

“Do you like me?” you nodded as you chewed the chocolate. He smiled and pecked your lips, your mouth still full of chocolate. “That's all that matters to me. I think we have a few things to tell your brother now though,” you frowned and nodded sadly. You didn’t want to, you really didn’t. He kissed you again and you brought him in closer. You still felt guilty, and you knew you always would. You couldn’t change that. But you could try for him. You could be the best for him. Because the boy standing in front of you, wiping excess chocolate from his own mouth, he was everything you had ever wanted.

And you would be everything he ever wanted in return.

[whumpinggrounds]

What have I done for august?

At long last, an August update! For @badthingshappenbingo :)

Tagging my superhero crew - @whatwasmyprevioususername, @princess-poopsicle, @snowshower, @whumpywritings

CW: sidekick whumpee, hero whumper, villain caretaker, guilt, angst, mentions of past abuse

They don’t let August be a part of the discussions about going after the villain. “Beck can see it’s upsetting you,” Don tells his apprentice, looking irritated. As if he has any right to be angry about it. “He knows you’re too much a coward to do what needs to be done.”

“I’m not a coward,” snaps August, although he flinches when Don rounds on him. “I don’t want to see the wrong person get…get hurt.”

Don grunts, looking spectacularly unimpressed. “Then you shouldn’t have told Beck it was your little villain friend.”

Shame pools in August’s stomach, but he tries his best to sound defiant. “Maybe you shouldn’t have been going after me with a knife for hours.”

“Hours.” Don snorts. “You folded in about thirty minutes.”

Flushing, August finds his mouth working, but there’s nothing to say. “Fuck you,” he spits, and Don slaps him almost casually, one massive hand flicking out deceptively quickly and sending August reeling into the wall. The dozens of scabbed over cuts on his torso sing out protests that have him wincing, curling over on himself. From above him – lofty, unbothered, unassailable – Don snorts.

August hates how, around Donovan, he always finds himself flinching, cringing, small. It’s still not a relief when Don and Beck leave, hours later, grim-faced and carrying weapons. August can’t trail them out the door, not with Val watching his every move like a hawk. Miserable, he retreats to their common room, where he paces endless circles around the room under the medic’s increasingly exasperated eyes.

“Why don’t you just go run a few laps, if you have this much energy?” she grouses, on about his thirtieth trip around the couch.

“I…I want to know what’s going on.” Val points to the walkie-talkie clipped to her shoulder, but August shakes his head. He knows there won’t be any lurid detail coming from there. His tortured gaze flicks up to the TV screen, where the evening news is being transmitted with dry professionalism. There’s no breathless talk of a high-speed chase, or an explosion, or a gunfight or anything like that. That’s a good thing, right? Right?

Completely misreading his anxiety, Val shakes her head. “Beck and Don are going to be fine, you know. They’ve been doing this a long time.”

“That’s not...I’m not…” August huffs. “That’s great. I’m sure they will be.”

“Don’t get prickly on me just because I can’t read your mind.” Val sounds completely unbothered by his tone, but it’s just like her, to not let him get away with that.

“I’m not getting prickly.”

“Yes, you are. You can either cut it out or tell me why.”

“Or you could leave me alone.”

“Nope.” Val shakes her head so her cropped hair swings. “I’m babysitting for the night.”

August scowls. “Do you have to call it that?”

“What else do you call watching a kid so they don’t do anything stupid?”

August opens his mouth to respond but can’t think of anything to say that doesn’t sound like whining. He closes it with a snap and turns away, pacing in the other direction so Valerie can’t see his face. He doesn’t want her to see how upset he truly is, but something in his body must give it away, because when she speaks again, her voice is softer.

“Look. I know you’re upset. You have every right to be. And I know you want to be a hero now, too. But this…this is better left to Don and Beck. And, you know, someday you’ll be with them. But right now…today…you need to let them do this.”

It would’ve been a great speech if Valerie hadn’t been so completely off base. Swallowing hard, August encounters a lump in his throat of alarming size. He can’t cry in front of Valerie. He just can’t.

Taking a deep, controlled breath, August chooses his words with exceeding care. “It’s not…that I want…to be the one to take them…take them down.” He admits it slowly. He’s still not sure if he should tell her – and he’s certainly not going to tell her the full truth – but he can’t keep carrying this anxiety and guilt. The pressure feels like it’s going to squash him flat. “I’m not…angry. I feel…guilty.”

“Guilty?” Valerie stares at him, incredulous. “Guilty about what?”

The lump in August’s throat makes it hard for him to speak. Still facing away from Val, staring fixedly at the dark navy wall in front of him, August swallows, then swallows again. “I don’t want anyone to get hurt because of me.”

The admission comes out tiny, pathetic. Val drowns it out with her response. “What? August, look at me. What?”

Reluctantly, he turns to face her. Val’s hands are planted on her hips and she’s glaring fit to kill. It’s enough to break August’s misery and make him snort, just a little. Rolling her eyes, she marches up to him and pokes a finger in the center of his chest.

“In case you’ve forgotten, I was the one who patched up your sorry ass after you got back here.” Holding up her hand in front of his face, she ticks off her fingers one by one. “Broken ribs. Dislocated arm. More cuts and bruises than I could count. Broken nose! Concussion. Do I need to go on?”

The smile slips from August’s face. “No.”

“That asshole beat the shit out of you. You really don’t need to worry about them getting hurt now.”

“I…” August shakes his head. “It wasn’t…so bad. Really. And…and I just don’t want…and what if I was wrong, anyway? What if it wasn’t…that…villain?”

What if it was the hero that’s supposed to be training me?

Now it’s Valerie’s turn to shake her head. “Where is this martyr thing coming from? I hadn’t pegged you for such a…bleeding heart.”

Despair wells up in August, fast and heavy-making. It feels like a cloud falling over him, like a sorrow too big for words. Val is looking at him with confusion and compassion and the faintest irritation in her eyes, and it’s like she’s staring from the other side of a canyon, or a mountain too big to climb. August settles for the smallest, simplest truth. “I just don’t want anyone to get hurt. I don’t…want it to be my fault that anyone gets hurt.”

Valerie heaves an exasperated sigh. “It’s not going to be your fault, and besides, it shouldn’t matter when the person getting hurt is a colossal asshole that beat the shit out of you.” She nudges him, but August can’t even fake a grin. “And-”

The walkie clipped to Val’s shoulder crackles to life. “Headed home.”

It’s Beck’s voice, the words terse. Even over radio waves, August can tell he doesn’t sound happy. The two exchange a wide-eyed look, and Val presses the transmit button. “Any need for medical?”

She keeps her face smooth and her voice even, but August sees the finest tremble in her fingers as they wait, poised for action and tense all over, for a reply.

It’s Don’s voice that comes through next, and August can hear the man’s smirk. “Not for us,” he tells them, and August’s knees go out. He sinks into the couch behind him, hands coming up to cover his face. It feels dramatic; it feels too obvious, but he can’t stop the hot stinging tears that come rushing to his eyes.

The villain’s soft voice. Their teasing. Their concerned eyes. The questions. The phone number that’s still tucked beneath the sole of his latest pair of shoes.

“What have I done?” August breathes, no longer caring if Val can hear him. She places a hand on his shoulder, but he barely registers. He just feels numb. “What the fuck have I done?”

[saltyhyunjae]

CHAPTER THREE: YOU KNOCK ME OUT COLD AND DISAPPEAR

genre/warnings: angst, fluff, slow burn, enemies to lovers (?), kidnapping, criminal!tbz, mentions of guns & knives, small mention of suicide

word count: 2.2k

summary: It’s time for y/n to carry out her escape plan.

part two

“Here’s the diary you asked for.” Kevin gives you a small notebook with a pen. “Thank you.” Tomorrow is gonna be the day. The day you finally escape. When you enter your room, you sit on your bed and write down the info you have gathered all week.

Everyone goes to their room around 2 in the morning. Eric gets his midnight snack at 2:30, and Sunwoo goes to the toilet around 3. By the time they’re all asleep it’s 3:30. Instead of leaving at 3:30 you decide that it’s better to stay put till 4. You also checked the door last night. It doesn’t have any censors and an easy lock. This should be an easy mission.

“Knock knock.” Younghoon walks into your room. You quickly close your diary and put it on your nightstand.

“That’s not how you knock.”

He laughs and lies on your bed. “I’m so bored, what should we do?” “We?” You turn around to face him and he nods. You look outside. It’s been raining all week but the sun has been shining all morning. “Why don’t we sit in the garden?” You suggest. Ever since you came back from the grocery store you’ve only been inside. You needed some fresh air.

After a couple minutes you were outside with Younghoon, sitting on a picnic blanket, eating some fruit and enjoying the nice weather.

“Ah, the weather is great today.” Younghoon smiles, laying down on the blanket and you do the same. You smile at the warm feeling from the sun, finally relaxing.

Even though your eyes are closed, you can suddenly feel a shadow above you, blocking the sun. “What the-, move!” You hear Younghoon complain and you open your eyes to see Hyunjae, standing between you too. If you’re completely honest you’ve been avoiding him ever since what happened that one night. The more you hangout with him, the weirder you start to feel.

“What are you guys doing?” “What does it look like? We’re enjoying the sun.” Younghoon puts his sunglasses back on and lays down again. You’re about to close your eyes again but Hyunjae finds a way to lie between you two. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Younghoon groans. “I wanna enjoy the sun too.” “Go do that somewhere else.” “No.” You scootch over a bit and decide to just ignore him.

»»————-　➴　————-««

After you’re done with cleaning the living room and folding the laundry, Jacob asks you to have another guitar session, to which you excitedly agree. You loved his voice and you were hoping he could tell you a bit more about the boys.

He starts off by singing Paris In The Rain by Lauv. you absolutely love his voice and you automatically start smiling the second you hear him sing. You once again take your time to look at him. He has a soft smile as he sings, his hair falling just right above his eyes that are following the chords of the guitar and his head slowly nodding with the melodies.

When he finishes the song, you applaud him. “Wow Jacob, you’re so good at singing. Do you have some self-written songs?” He nods “I do, do you want to hear one?” You nod excitedly. “This one is called happy-” Jacob gets interrupted by Hyunjae storming into your room. Are you actually kidding me?

“Jacob, Sangyeon needs you to help him.” Jacob nods, stands up and thanks you for your time before leaving to help Sangyeon. You were hoping Hyunjae would leave with Jacob but instead he sits next to you on the bed, very close, leaving no personal space.

You're about to scootch away from him. But he places his hand on your thigh to stop you. Usually if a guy did this you would slap his hand away, but you can’t bring yourself to do that right now. “What’s with the distance? You’ve been avoiding me all week. Did you think I wouldn't notice?” He asks in a low voice. Your brain starts to fog up. “I-” You try to find words to say but nothing comes out. His face gets closer, never breaking eye contact with you.

“What? Do I make you nervous?” He smirks. You feel a bubble of annoyance come up. As you're about to reply with ‘no’, Eric storms in. “Y/n! ah Hyunjae, there you are!” “What do you want?” Hyunjae asks, clearly annoyed at Eric interrupting the two of you.

“Y/n, come play games with me. Hyunjae, you can come too if you want.” Hyunjae huffs and rolls his eyes. “Y/n, please.” Eric whines, now pulling your arm, trying to get you off the bed. “Okay okay.” You give in, scared to be alone with Hyunjae in one room. You would be lying if you say that your heart doesn't flutter every time you see him.

After an hour and a half of playing mario kart with Eric and Hyunjae, and you despite your sneaky protests, sitting in between them, and you beating both of them more than seven times, it’s finally time for dinner. And guess who you're sitting next to. Hyunjae.

“So guys, our break is ending. Our next group mission starts next week, so make sure you prepare for it well. I’ll tell you guys the details later.” Sangyeon announces and the boys cheer. “Finally I was so bored.” Changmin drops on his chair. “You're always bored, maybe you're just boring.” Eric laughs, making fun of him, but quickly stopping as Changmin points a knife at him.

After dinner Sangyeon and Chanhee offer to help clean up and Kevin helps you with the dishes. By the time you're done it’s late, so you decide to go to bed first. Since your escape is tomorrow, you need as much rest as you can.

»»————-　➴　————-««

Today you woke up a little later than normally so you won't be tired tonight. You really need your energy to run as fast as possible. After you guys are done with eating breakfast you watch a drama with Juyeon, Haknyeon and Eric, do laundry and clean the house and by the time you're done it's time to prepare for dinner which Younghoon and Sunwoo helps you with.

After dinner you clean up with Eric and then go to your room to prepare your outfits. You grab a sweater from your closet and a pair of leggings that would be comfortable and warm, since it would be cold at night.

While you put them under your bed with your sneakers, someone knocks on your door. Finally someone who can knock, you think. “Come in.” Jacob comes in smiling at you. “Hi, am I disturbing you?” You shake your head sitting on your bed and he does the same.

“Well I just wanna tell you I'm very happy to have you here, you’ve been helping us a lot even though I know you don’t wanna be here and I really appreciate you. I would’ve given you a present, but I don't think you would appreciate stolen stuff.” He looks down at his knees, blushing a bit, cute.

You started to feel a pang of guilt in your heart, Jacob has been an angel to you ever since you first spoke to him but you couldn’t take it any longer, you wanted to leave. You needed to leave. Trying to enjoy the time you had left with him you guys spent hours talking about Canada, his childhood, why he doesn’t swear and about how much he loves basketball. You could watch him talk for hours. You nod to everything he says, trying to ignore the butterflies you feel when you two make eye contact.

»»————-　➴　————-««

You look up at the clock in your room. 04:00. You get up from your bed and make your way to your bedroom door. You slowly open your door and walk to the stairs, quietly going down the steps and taking breaks every few steps. You mentally sigh when u make it downstairs u slowly make your way to the front door in the dark careful not to make a noise.

When you walk past the kitchen you decide to take a knife with you, just in case. When you get to the door you slowly open the door, cringing at the little squeak sound it makes in the process.

Once the door is wide enough for you to fit in, you step outside, leaving the door open, since the sound of the door closing might wake them up. You take a few quick steps till you reach further from the house.

Once you’re reaching the forest you hear the door slam open. Shit! You turn around before you start running. Sangyeon’s standing at the door. Clearly very angry. “Y/N!” You hear him scream as you start running fasters. You hear the others making a fuss as you take a turn right into the forest.

“God, she’s fast.” Kevin breathes out, taking a break from running. “Yeah, just let her go, I'm too tired.” Chanhee squats down, Younghoon doing the same. “No! she’ll report us to the police and then it’s over for us, we need to find her.” Sangyeon says before making his way to the forest, the others following behind him.

You notice the forest is on top of a hill, which makes you run down faster. You run way faster than expected, almost twisting your ankle when taking a turn left. The footsteps of the boys started to fade away but you didn’t slow down, adrenaline still rushing through your body.

“Y/N!” Sangyeon screams looking around, he stops running and waits for the others to catch up, when they do, he shares his plan. “Okay, we're splitting up in the units we use for our missions, call me when you find her.” And they all split up in their units, Sangyeon’s unit going left.

“How could she do this?” Eric sighs. “I mean we kidnapped her, this was bound to happen.” Hyunjae says. He hates to admit but he’s worried sick and hopes you're not hurt. He shrugs it off thinking it's just a normal reaction and that he’s not actually catching feelings for you.

After a while your running slows down and you start to get tired. You stumble across a huge fallen down tree and you decide to hide behind it. Cliche but you're so tired, you can barely feel your legs. Once you sit down, you bend a bit making sure your head isn’t visible. You sigh. Why did you have to be the one to get kidnapped, why did they have to rob the store you work at. You stop the tears you feel from flowing so it won’t block your sight.

“How fast is she, God.” You hear Changmin’s voice from a little distance. Shit. You're freaking out but remain in your position. You pray that they won’t see you, cause they’ll definitely kill you when they do. The voices are starting to fade and you take the opportunity to start running again, regaining the adrenaline you had earlier.

But you should’ve waited. Juyeon spots you. “There!” You hear him yell and they start running after you. You panic, taking a run right, into the darker part of the forest. You jump over another fallen tree and make your way further down. Once you lose them you slow down a bit. You can barely see anything, so you start walking.

Suddenly you feel two hands grab you. You startle and stab the person with the knife you're holding. “Ow!” Jacob. You panic as you start running again, feeling slightly bad that he was the one you stabbed. You hope he’s okay as you start running faster.

After a while you stumble over something that makes you fall down, hurting your knee and elbows. “Fuck.” You whisper, quickly getting up. Soon after you run into a tree hurting your chest and cheek. You were getting so tired, you couldn’t even focus on where you were running to. You prayed this all was just a bad dream and you would wake up in your own room again, remaining your normal life.

“Jacob what happened!” Sangyeon gives him a worried look. The boys gather around Jacob, who’s holding his arm. “She stabbed me.” He understands why you did it but it still hurts him. “God, she has a knife.” Sunwoo panics. “Younghoon and Chanhee, bring Jacob to the house and take care of his wound. The rest of us will keep on searching.” The boys nod at his order and split up again.

An hour passes and the boys still haven’t found you. Hyunjae starts to worry even more. They were all wearing a jacket, but you didn't. It was so cold around this time of the day and it would be so easy to freeze up. “Shouldn’t we just give up. The sun will start rising soon, she’ll probably show up again.” He suggests, but Sangyeon ignores him. He sighs. As much as he wants you to be free, he doesn’t want to let you go.

You’re just roaming around at this point. You have no idea how much time has passed, or if the boys have given up already. You think it might be easier to just stab yourself with a knife and just die. But you didn’t want to give up. You wanted your old life back. You finally see the end of the forest a couple meters away from you and run towards it. But something grabs you and spins you around. You look up and your eyes widen. Hyunjae.

»»————-　➴　————-««

taglist

@beauchamp-fraser @n-xrmy @givememunjang

[adaodinson]

Thank you

I got the inspiration for this since I watched Rush again (one of my favorite movies). I really enjoyed writing it so I hope you enjoy reading it :)

And well my obsession on Daniel Brühl makes no sign on leaving any time soon, so I’m putting that to good use.

Summary: Niki notices his new neighbor the second she moves in next to him, will you notice him?

Warnings: swearing, assholes and Niki being a little shit that knows what he’s doing.

Relationship: Niki Lauda x fem!reader.

You sighed as you carried the last box into your new house. You had started taking everything inside with a rather positive energy, but after four hours you were exhausted. Everything was now inside, but as you closed the door and turned to look at your small living room, the sight made you want to cry. Sure, everything was inside, but it was still packed up.

-You know what- you talked to the air- I´ll do that tomorrow, I´m gonna treat myself cause this was fucking exhausting-.

You walked towards your new kitchen. Of course, the only things that were unpacked were your writing tools and cooking tools. As you walked around the counter a sudden feeling of tired happiness filled you. You had finally found a job you adored, and at the need, you didn´t hesitate in moving out from your country into this new, small place. It was perfect for a person or two; or as your case happened to be, one person and two cats. You were starting, doing what you loved, and you knew it was going to be tough, but you weren´t expecting anything else.

Almost automatically, you started settling all the ingredients for spaghetti bolognesa on the counter, and since you knew the recipe by heart, the only thing you used your phone for was to play your favorite music. As you danced and sang around, you moved gracefully, working with the stove, chopping what was needed and mixing expertly. You had always loved cooking, and you were pretty good at it, if you said it yourself. But you never saw it as a career. Your thing was writing.

As you waited for the pasta to cook and the sauce to simmer, you looked outside the window when a sudden light in the next-door house was turned on. It was pretty close, so you had a good sight of the inside. It looked cozy, but it seemed whoever lived there didn´t spend most of their time inside. Curiously, you waited to see if you could get a glimpse of the person, but after a few minutes passed, you gave up and went back to the kitchen.

Niki was just arriving to his house. He was, as usual, exhausted. All he wanted was to finish the phone calls he needed to do and go to bed, but an amazing smell that he immediately recognized as bolognesa caught his every action. He headed for the window, and that was when he saw you. You were wearing a pair of dark blue pants and a purple hoodie, and even though your mother would have said you looked like a homeless person, Niki thought you were insanely cute. Of course he always kept that kind of thoughts to himself, but he couldn´t help but staring as you danced around the kitchen, checking on the pasta and mixing up the sauce. He could get a rather low volume of your so inspired singing, but what he managed to hear was beautiful.

-Huh, she´s pretty, dances, cooks, and sings… what a sight I get from here- He said to himself, allowing his mind to take you in and think of you, not only in a bit of a sexy way, but in a cute one as well.

From that day on Niki caught glimpses of you many times, doing different things. He learnt so much about you, but at the same time, he knew nothing. It was obvious you had two cats, and that they loved you as much as you loved them. His heart had ached the first time he saw you laying on your small garden, with your back facing up, and with both of your cats cuddled on top of your back as you slept. For those moments, he allowed himself to feel, knowing it wouldn´t lead anywhere. But it was only for those few minutes that he saw you that he let his mind find somebody so cute and not try to find something wrong with them. He never expected people to know who he was, but he thought someone like you wouldn’t have gone unnoticed at the races, not just by him, but by the other drivers as well, so he knew you probably didn´t know him for his career.

You had seen your new neighbor a few times, and God wasn´t he attractive. You swore you had seen him somewhere, but couldn´t quite place your finger on where. You knew nothing about the guy, yet you couldn’t bring yourself to stop making fake scenarios in your head; ones in which he would look at you for the first time and fall for you, but you knew it was normal to fantasize that way. The day you finally talked to him though, was a... weird one, to say the least.

You had bought a new couch but forgot to specify in the delivery form that you needed help taking it inside, so when you saw the huge furniture, you felt like screaming.

Niki was arriving from a morning of work with Clay. It was one of those rare days in which he got an afternoon for himself. After parking his car, he walked towards his house, and as he reached for his keys he stepped on something and fell on his ass with a hard smack.

-OUCH- he whined as he tried getting up. The second you felt something hit your foot you knew something was going to go wrong, and when you turned to see your cute neighbor (that happened to have an Austrian accent) on the ground with an angry face, your fear came real.

-What the hell was… watch out next ti…-He yelled but couldn´t finish. The second he saw you on your knees holding the wrap around the couch, he realized he had stumbled with your foot, and his angry face immediately changed into a soft one.

-I´m sorry, is your foot okay?- He asked, feeling stupid at the second the words left his mouth. You looked at him with a confused and embarrassed look.

-What? No, don´t you apologize, I´m sorry, I should have been more careful as to where I was sitting. Please don´t apologize, are you okay?- You said as you stood up and offered your hand to help him get up.

-Yeah, I´m fine, do you need help with that?- Niki knew there were first times for everything, but he cringed at the words that were coming out of him, they seemed to make you happy though, so it didn´t bother him for that long. He wasn´t always an asshole, but he definitely wasn´t used to being nice either. Around you it seemed to come out automatically, and he hated it but loved the way it made you smile. He had so many mixed feelings that he was actually feeling nervous. What the hell is wrong with me, he thought.

-Oh yes please! If it´s not too much trouble, I´ve been trying to take this inside for 40 minutes and well, you can see how good that´s going- He chuckled softly and you felt your heart skip a beat at the sound.

Without another word, he headed for one side of the couch as you grabbed the other one, but before you could lift it, about three people with shirts that spelled “James Hunt” interrupted.

-Hey rat face- a tall, dark haired man said as the other two behind him laughed- hey cutie, is the asshole bothering you?- He said looking at you. Who the hell does this idiot think he is?

Niki´s face was serious, just serious. He didn´t even look at the guy, almost as if he was used to that type of thing happening, and he made no sign to want to do anything about it. It impressed you how it seemed like he genuinely didn´t care about this guy, but you weren´t taking any of it, so before any of the idiots said anything else, you spoke.

-No, actually, the ugly assholes bothering are you three shitheads, so if you could walk on and leave us alone, I would mostly appreciate it- You said with a harsh tone and a serious grin. Niki dramatically turned his face with a shocked and amused expression towards you. The three guys didn´t seem to have any clever response, but their heads were too filled with ego to actually leave.

-Hey, you heard her! Go away assholes!- Niki finally said. They walked looking at each other. They clearly weren´t expecting any of you to talk back.

-Thank you- Niki said with an almost inaudible tone.

-Don´t thank me- you said with a smile- the idiots only wish they were as handsome as you are...- That last part came out without you wanting it to. You immediately covered your mouth with your hand and tried to ignore the surprised but hugely amused grin on Niki´s face.

-I´m sorry, I´m sorry, I didn´t mean to say that I…-

-Do you really think that?- You would have liked to say he was genuinely asking, maybe he was, but now it was pretty clear he was teasing you because of the stupid smirk that covered his face.

-Maybe…- You said as you looked to the floor.

-I´m Niki- He said as he took his hand from the couch and placed it for you to shake. That smirk was still plastered in his face.

-I´m Y/N…- You said hesitantly as you shook his hand, not looking at his face.

-You´re beautiful, you know?- Niki stated with a proud tone. Oh he knows what he´s doing.

You weren´t even able to answer, your face was redder than the apples that were hanging from the tree in front of your house, and as much as you wanted to, you couldn´t come up with any way of teasing him back.

-So, let´s take this inside- He said as he lifted the couch. You only nodded and followed. Niki was dying. He found it so insanely cute and amazing how just a few seconds ago you were being a badass against the assholes that bothered him, but when he complemented you, you couldn´t even bring yourself to answer.

You had no stairs, but it was a relatively long trip, so you really appreciated his help. As you settled the couch on it´s place, both of you fell dramatically into it and sighed at the effort.

-Let me make dinner for you, as a thank you- You said shyly but with a little bit more confidence.

-I´d love that, gorgeous- He said as he winked, and you felt your insides melting. Once again, he had you wrapped around his finger, you both knew it, and you both loved it. You led him to the kitchen and as you pulled out the ingredients, you felt two hands hesitantly grabbing your waist. Hesitantly not because he wasn´t sure he wanted to place his hands on your waist, but because he didn´t want to overstep.

You leaned into his touch and he got the answer he wanted. All afternoon you spent dancing with Niki behind you, talking with you and complementing how amazing everything smelled. You secretly thanked your past self for forgetting to ask for help on the couch, since that mistake led to one of the best things in your future: Niki Lauda.

[tmngoose]

Since the writings requests things were yesterday I don't know if you still have them, but maybe something with Donnie dislocating his shoulder and the others freaking out while he's like "chill this has happened more than once while testing my inventions" and his brothers just look horrified like "MORE THAN ONCE!?"?

You got it, fam — CW for Shoulder Dislocation! Hurt/Comfort inbound! :U

((Note: I wrote this running on 2 hours of sleep and no beta. I didn’t even realize I was writing in the present-tense & I don’t normally do that lol OTL))

—x—

It’s Donnie’s turn on the half-pipe. He’s steadily building speed, gaining momentum with each relay up the sloped boards.

Raph, Leo, and Mikey watch Donnie soar high above the ramp; his hang-time is impressive.

But just as Donnie comes back down to the ramp, the nose of his skateboard catches the outcrop. With a yell, Donnie falls to the ground, flailing.

He lands hard on his shoulder, then slumps onto his side; his skateboard clatters to the floor a few seconds later.

“Ow...,” Donnie whines flatly.

There’s a chorus of sympathetic groaning from Mikey, Leo, and Raph. It’s nothing they haven’t seen before; they’ve all beefed it on the half-pipe.

But Raph notices that Donnie’s taking a little too long to recover. The Snapper’s concern activates his big-brother instincts and he jumps down from the ledge; Leo and Mikey right behind him.

“Hey, you alright, Dee?” Raph carefully assists a woozy Donatello to sit upright.

Leo kneels in front of the dazed turtle, “Quick, how many fingers am I holding up?”

Before Donnie can answer, Mikey cries out in horror, “Omigosh! His arm’s falling off!!”

There’s a brief moment of panic between them, which Donatello dispels, “Would you guys please calm down.” He tenderly rubs his shoulder, assessing the damage. “It’s only a dislocated shoulder, that’s all.”

“That’s all?!” Mikey grimaces. “Look at your arm, man!” He shudders at the sight, though there’s something cool about the way his brother’s arm hangs awkwardly in the air.

“Y’know, you’re taking this very well for someone who milked the theatrics when they popped their ankle...” Leo folds his arms, recalling the infamous incident.

“Okay, first of all? That actually hurt and all my emotions were authentic, thank you very much,” Donnie pokes his shoulder. “Secondly, this isn’t my first rodeo...”

“Whoa, time out,” Raph makes a ‘T’ with his hands. “Are you sayin’ this sorta thing’s happened before?” The older turtle frowns. He likes to think he keeps tabs on all his brothers’ injuries — after all, he is responsible for them.

“Lab accidents happen, my friend,” Donnie shrugs his good shoulder. “Now, worry not, this’ll just take a second...”

The mechanical-arms on his spider-shell spring into action. They secure the misaligned socket, straighten Donnie’s arm, and pop everything back into place.

Raph, Leo, and Mikey cringe. It looks painful, though Donnie’s accustomed to the fleeting discomfort of the procedure.

The Softshell rolls his shoulder, flexes out the kinks, and smiles, “There! Good as new!” But his smile fades upon seeing his brothers’ solemn expressions, “Uh, guys?”

“You said ‘accidents,’” Leo points out. “With an ‘s.’”

“Yeeees, that would be the proper way one uses plurals, Nardo,” Donnie offers his siblings a reassuring grin, “Look, fellas, it’s no big deal, really. So I’ve dislocated my shoulder a few times! It’s actually quite the common occurrence! 23.9 per 100,000 people—“

“That’s not the problem, Donnie,” Raph cuts in. “Why didn’t you tell us you’ve been poppin’ out your shoulder like it’s nobody’s business?”

Donnie blinks, “I... didn’t think you guys needed to know?” There’s a beat, “I mean, it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle by myself...”

Ah, Raph thinks to himself. Now that makes sense.

Donnie’s an intelligent, independent turtle, who’s capable of problem solving and fixing (almost) anything. It’s no wonder they knew nothing about these accidents; why sound the alarm when the fire’s already extinguished?

Raph’s moment of clarity is Donnie’s as well. Nobody’s upset at him for withholding information— his brothers just care so much about him. He didn’t mean to scare them...

“I’ll be sure to record any future mishaps in the accident log,” Donnie states quietly. “But honestly? I’m okay.”

“Heh, we know, Don.” Raph sighs, his face softens. “We’re glad you’re okay.”

With Leo and Mikey’s help, Raph hoists Donnie onto his feet. The group hug is inevitable yet Donnie doesn’t mind.

[jordanstrophe]

Going Once, Going Twice: part 7

Fevers and Dreams 2/2

CW: Pet whump, ill whumpee, forced to take medicine, panicking, mention of the death of a relative. 

Masterlist

Robert sat at Peter’s bedside, clutching an object in his hand just out of sight.

“So I uh... I made you something. I haven’t done wood carving in a long time, but I hope you like it.” He pulled out a small, adorable carved owl. It’s big eyes glistened with gloss and each feather delicately detailed. Robert took his hand and set it in his palm, as he was frozen in shock.

“It’s... It’s for me?’‘ He asked, not quite believing it, looking up at him with doe eyes.  “Yes, just for you. You can leave it at the desk, so when you wake it and see it, you’ll remember where you are. You’re somewhere safe.” He smiled. 

Peter ran his fingers through all the detail, admiring every splinter in the wood. 

“T-Thank you master.” He whispered, holding it close. He had never owned anything before. Nothing like this at least, it was really pretty and well made. 

Robert just accepted he was “Master” now. It was understandable he might be uncomfortable using his name, but he hoped one day he would be comfortable enou- Oh... That’s right. He wasn’t going to be here much longer, was he? What was he doing?! He was getting attached. The closer he got the harder the heartbreak would be when he had to tell him he was going to go away with another stranger and have to get used to them all over again.

“Oh dear...” He muttered, noticing he was shivering and sweating a bit more than before. He rested his hand on his forehead, he was burning up again. “I’m taking you in tomorrow, try and get some more rest.” He whispered, pulling the blankets up. 

Wait, he was being taken where?

“Now remember.” He said, taking his cheeks in both hands. You’re safe, okay?” He reminded, setting the owl on the desk.

“Okay” Peter mumbled back.

“That’s right.” He smiled, grazing his forehead one last time with his knuckles. He shut off the lamp and closed the door, collapsing back in his recliner and bundling up in the thin blanket.

“Master!?” Peter called. Robert shot back to his feet and bolted back into the room, trying not to slam the door open off its hinges. “What’s wrong?! Are you okay?!” He hollered.  Peter was holding the owl in his arms shivering, leaning up in the bed, tears staining his face.

“Please, please stay here! I don’t want to fall asleep again, he’ll come back!” He cried out.  Robert dropped to a knee on the bed, pulling him into a hug. “Who will come back?” He asked.  “T-the... The Baron.” He muttered.  “Oh little one...” He sighed, holding him tightly. “No one is going to take you. Especially not the Baron.” He whispered to him. He felt like he was spitting lies, but the Baron part was truthful at least. But tonight, he was willing to say anything to get him to sleep. 

He shuffled his weight behind Peter, leaning back in bed. Peter rested his fists on each of his shoulders, laying his head down on his chest. He could feel his heart beating hard.  “Are you.. Okay?” He asked.  “Don’t worry about me, I’m okay. Just sleep.” 

He felt safe knowing Master was there. He closed his eyes, drifting to sleep.

-------

When we awoke, he was only leaning against pillows that were propped up. He gasped and jolted up, but was shocked with relief to see Master was next to him with a cup in hand.  “Hey! There you are. Good morning! Did you sleep okay?” Robert asked.  “I- Y-yes, I did. G-morning.” He mumbled, his vision was still blurry, as he tried to get a grip on reality. 

“I know you just woke up, but do you think you can eat and drink a little?” He asked. He only blinked and squinted at him, tilting his head to the side. 

He shook his head no, his throat hurt and nose was stuffed up, any food he could imagine just made him cringe. But he did his best to choke some water down, Robert wrapped the coat around his shoulders and lifted him in his arms. 

“M-master, where are we going?” His voice panicked. He groaned as he tilted his head against Master’s chest as the world spun around him. “To see a friend who can help.” He smiled, setting him in the car and buckled him in. 

He fell asleep on the ride to who knows where. He awakened to the sensation of being lifted again, only it was cold, really cold, as he blinked awake.

There was the auction building before him.

He yelled out and cried, desperately trying to kick his way out of the man’s arms. 

“No no no! It’s okay!” Robert called, having to crouch down on the pavement to try and steady the panicking man in his arms. 

“W-What did I do?!” He cried, begging for mercy, begging for another chance, begging for what felt like his life.

“Peter! Listen to me. It’s okay. You’re not being sold. My friend I told you about works here, and we’re going to see her while she’s on break, she’s a busy woman.” He explained. His kicking and thrashing died down, and he clung to Robert’s coat. 

“Don’s.. Don’t leave me.. Please.” He begged.

“I'm going to be right there, I promise." He soothed, holding him tight against his chest, hoping that would be a sign of his words.

Don’t stress him out anymore, she says... Bring him to the worst place on the planet, she says... He wanted to just bring him to an actual doctors office, but he only heard terrible things about those Pet hospitals. But at least here he had someone he could trust.

He sat in a chair in the waiting room, and not five minutes later, Winola practically skipped into the room. Not bad for an old lady. 

“Peter!” She called, arms extended out, as she sped walked over. He jolted and dug his face into Robert’s shoulder, trying to slink his way under Robert’s coat to be hidden away. 

“Hey! You never sound that excited when you see me!” Robert laughed.

“Oh hey Rob.” She mumbled.

“How is that doll! Is he being good? Is Robby doing a good job taking care of you? Hmmm?” She asked. If he was actually facing her, she would probably pinch his cheeks. But there he remained, practically cowering into Robert’s shoulder.

“Fair enough. Come on now, no more chit chat. bring him into that side room there please.” She pointed with a long golden nail. Robert carried him into a dreary looking room, with a chair in the center with straps and restraints hanging off it. Peter whimpered, as Robert shook his head with disgust at the chair. He just sat in a chair on the side and held him in his lap. Peter was practically glued to his shoulder at this point, not once budged from his place.

Winola walked in, a long medical bag in hand. She awkwardly looked around the room before finally spotting him in the corner. “Come on now, don’t be shy, you can sit him in there.” She motioned at the chair.  ‘I’m not putting him in that. If that’s all you got I’d rather hold him.” He said. “Tsk, what a pushover.” She smirked.

“I am not a pushover! I don’t like forcing him to do things he doesn’t want to do.” He argued back.

She grunted, struggling to pull over another chair in the back. “Would you mind helping an old woman out?!” She barked. “Yeah! Sorry..” He muttered, putting Peter down in the stool and helping her pull the old chair out. It was much nicer, like a white comfortable medical table. “Up up sweetheart.” She called, waving him over. Peter glanced at Robert for confirmation before slowly crawling up. 

Without warning, she shoved a thermometer in his mouth, it tried to move his head to the side, but it was far too late.  “How much medicine have you given him so far?” She asked.  “Nothing yet.’’ He admitted. “What? Come on Rob, When  they’re sick like this, you have to put your foot down.” She said, pulling a bunch of bottles from her bag. 

She took the thermometer from his lips and shook her head. “Alright dear, open up.” She instructed, pouring medicine in a spoon and holding it to his lips. As soon as he opened to protest, she immediately shoved it in. He jolted and panicked, as she took his chin and tilted his head up, forcing him to swallow. He coughed when she pulled and spoon out, and poured another dose. “If you can’t convince em, trick em” She giggled.

“Winola, that’s just cruel!” He scolded. 

‘'Shh, now watch.” She instructed, holding it back to his lips. He stared up at her with glossy eyes, before slowly and reluctantly opening his mouth.

“Seeee? He’s being a good boy now.” She smiled, as he looked at her grumpily.

As she packed up the extra medicine in a bag for him, she glanced back at Robert.  “So how’s the cousins?” She smirked. Robert closed his eyes and let out a sigh. “Painful as ever. They refuse to talk to me, and I need Nina’s signature eventually.” He groaned. 

“Well that sucks for you.” She grumbled. “Hey, I thought you were supposed to be the nice grandma figure around here, where’s my comfort advice and cookie?” He mocked.

“I ate them all, and I only pass out tough love here. The world is cruel, so the advice should at least be honest.” She smiled. Peter tried to slide off the chair to climb back into Robert’s lap, but she took his arm and centered him again. Robert noticed his discomfort, and went over to take his hand.

“I get why she’s upset, she has a right to be, If I’m being honest. She’s the oldest and figured she would get all of Aunt May’s inheritance. She screamed when she finally read the will after her passing.” Robert shuttered.

“Nah, she was a terrible kid to that woman. I met them both on multiple occasions. Ungrateful brat.” She spat. “Miss May talked a lot about you, did you know that? The only thing she ever got for her birthday from any family was the hand drawn cards and sculptures you sent her. She collected them all over the years, said it always warmed her heart that someone at least thought about her.” She muttered, shining a light in Peter’s eyes, who glared at her.

‘Huh... I didn’t know that. Nina probably found it and burned it all, I assume.” They both laughed. 

“Now! You were.. Such a good boy!” She exaggerated, patting Peter’s cheek roughly. She handed him a small lollipop and gave him a pet in the hair. “I need to talk to Mister McAllen privately for a second, is that okay?” She asked. He whimpered as his head shot towards Robert. “It’s okay, i’ll be right over there.” He motioned with a smile.  

Winola took Robert’s arm in hers and had him walk her outside. “So, how is he really? Been behaving?” She asked.  “Ugh... The kid is scared to death. I feel terrible, but I’m doing everything I can.”

“Pff, nah, you should have seen him at the auction, couldn’t take him anywhere.” She shrugged.

“Yeah, he bit me.”-   -“HE WHAT?!” She laughed.

“So uh, how goes the search?” He asked.  “Search for what?” She raised an eyebrow.

“The... The search for the new owner?” He asked.  “Oh! Yeah. That. It’s totally going. These things take time though.” She smiled, patting his arm.  “Yeah, I figured, do you know how long it may take?’’ He asked.

“Desperate to get rid of him that badly, eh?” She gave a sad sighed. “No! No, that’s not it at all! I’m just curious. He’s a sweet kid. Part of me... Well-”

 “-Bonded with him? Hmmm?” She nudged. 

“Uuuugggghhhh...” He let off a long pained groan.

“I knew it!” She laughed. “Why not keep him then? You obviously like him. You treat him like a son.” She laughed.

He froze.   Why not keep him? Well, because... Wait, why would he get rid of him again? Sure, the house was small, but that was fixable... And he would get better as time went on. He was a really sweet kid.

“I.. I don’t know. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad after all...” He muttered.

“Well thank goodness, because I have not been looking for new owners at all.”

“WHAT? Winola! What if I actually didn’t keep him!” He argued.

“But you did. Heh!” She smiled, clapping her hands together. “I knew it! I knew it. You were going to bond with him, realize it wouldn’t be so bad, learn to enjoy taking care of him, and Voilà, problem solved.”

‘’Winola I can’t believe you’ve done this.” He dragged a hand down his face.

‘’I can. Come on Rob, people like you hardly exist in the world anymore. Everyone treats Pet’s like nothing. That’s why I’m so good at my job, I still recognize Pet’s have emotions and feelings like the rest.” She shrugged. He stared at the wall, face blank.  ‘Rob? What are you thinking? Sunken in yet?’‘ She asked, poking his arm.

“I’m going to need a bigger house! He needs his own room! His own things! I have to move, don’t I? I need to make sure it has some kind of activity room, so he can experiment and try out new things, and oh!-”

Robert rattles on with both panic and excitement in his voice. These things have clearly been on his mind for a while, and finally get to spill out with the big new decision. 

He goes on and on acting like a brand new dad as Winola only shakes her head.

Tag list: @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @moose-teeth @ill-eat-you-if-you-cross-me @yet-another-heathen @sillypizzazineoperator @freefallingup13 @alien-octopus @unicornscotty @whumpzone  @penny-for-your-whump @girlwithnoballons242 @whumpingredroses

o(^∀^*)o  *:･ﾟ✧ Thank you for reading! <3

[heyheydidjaknow]

I would’ve posted this earlier but, alas, I passed out early. This is a longer one, but tumblr got its act together so I can post it all in one part. You guys know where the other chapters are, and if you don’t, they’re at the end of the chapter. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go eat straight Nutella.

Chapter 10

“I’m thinking about getting some gloves.”

He looks over at you as he laces up his skates. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you nod, smiling slightly to yourself as you look your hands over, trying to imagine what they would look like. “Like, badass, fingerless gloves.”

He smiles. “Dude, those would look metal as fuck.”

“Totally, right?” Your smile widens. “With studs and shit.”

He gets to his feet, hopping onto the ice. “Hell yeah.” He drops a puck to assault as you go back to your backed-up coursework the best you can—your handwriting has gone to hell, but you are working with what you have.

You flinch at the crack of his stick, the cross of the T ending up underneath the letter somehow. A cheer from Casey tells you the rubber cylinder’s fate.

‘I swear I learned this.' You squint at the basic algebra, the pencil, crudely held in your fist, hovering over the packet. ‘Why can’t I do this?’

“How’s your pile coming along?” Another crack.

“It’s comin’.” You run your fingers through your hair. “Just… trynna remember how to do ne—… subtraction.” ‘Not debate. Negating is debate.’

He laughs. Another crack. “Man, that thing really fucked you over, huh?”

“Thoroughly.” You decide against continuing to torture yourself, having been at it for the past five hours—most of it in the library before Casey invited you to watch him practice some more— and set the large stack of homework back in your bag. “Are you actually making the shots?”

“Casey Jones doesn’t miss shots.” Another crack.

“Pardon me, oh almighty king of the ice.” You stand on your good leg, grabbing the side of the wall to watch as he went back to collect his pucks.

You two have managed to bond over a mutual respect/love of heavy metal and hockey and, seeing as you are staying out of the Hamatos’ hair for a while—not upon request, but out of courtesy—you have managed to spend a lot more time with him than you may have otherwise. Your school has not assigned Biology any big projects yet, so, until you are assigned it, you do not have anything other than your health to stress about.

“Pardon accepted.” You watch his form as he performs another slap shot.

“You…” you trail off, trying to remember what you were going to say.

“What?”

You shrug. “Dunno.” You lean your head on your arms. “I’ll remember eventually.”

He drops the second puck. “Got any plans after this?”

You sigh. “Nope. Probably gonna head home and try not to cut my fingers making dinner again.”

He takes another shot. “Then let’s go out after this. You and me.”

You smile. “What, don’t have any plans either?”

“Nah.” He drops the third. “Dad doesn’t care if I’m home late anyway.”

“True, true.” You have decided against prying into his home life; it is not your place and does not concern you in the slightest. “Where do you wanna go?”

“Wanna catch a movie? Heard there was this new pizza place just a couple blocks down if you wanna try to sneak it in.”

You snicker. “In the box and all?”

“Yes.” He grins mischievously and hits this one off the walls. Some way, somehow, it still makes it into the goal. “I bet your sweatshirt is big enough to stick the box under.”

You stick your tongue out at him. “Not in the mood for burns on top of scars, Jones,” you reprimand him teasingly. “That just ain't it.”

“Then you can wear mine under that one and—”

“Your sweat-soaked hoodie you’ve been practicing in all day?” You cringe at the thought. “Over my dead body.”

“I mean…” he licks his teeth, smile widening, “it’s not exactly like you’re in the best—”

You laugh. “So not cool!”

He puts his hands up in defense, gliding over. “I mean, am I wrong, though?”

“That is completely besides the point, you ass.” You balance on your foot, crossing your arms. “Damn. Making fun of the girl with the broken leg.”

He leans against the wall. “Man, you were dying before the crash.”

You roll your eyes. “Alright, whatever, Jones.” You lean against your hand. “How’s Johanna,” you sing.

He presses his hand against your face, pushing you away. “Annie is doing fine.”

You grin, steadying yourself on the wall. “Do you feel her, Johanna?”

“I’m gonna tell her you call her that if you don’t quit it.”

“Do you think that walls can hide her? Even when you’re at her window?”

He pushed his arm all the way out. You hop back.

“Her name isn’t even Johanna.”

“But she is Johanna,” you whine in protest, not bothering to hide your mirth. “She has the hair, the voice, the disposition. She’s an ingénue and you know it.” You have been teasing him about this for a while now: the girl in question—Annabelle Halshaw, a year below you two—had caught his eye when he had heard through the grapevine that she was the lead singer in some indie band. When he had shown you a picture and told you the story, you insisted on calling her Johanna for her golden hair and soft, sweet singing voice he had proudly had you listen to.

“She’s not.”

You roll your eyes, sitting back down as you grab your bag. “Lie to yourself all you want,” you goad, “but deep down, you know in your heart that the truth,” you put a finger up, “is apparent.”

He hops off the ice, sitting next to you as he unlaces his skates. “Whatever.” He smirks. “How’s The Don?”

You avert your gaze. “I haven’t seen ‘im.”

“Boo.” He tied the laces together. “Some girlfriend you are,” he ribs.

You go red. “Not my boyfriend. Not even friends with benefits.”

“Yeah, sure.” He sets the skates into his bag. “That’s why you already know his family.”

“That—”

“And why you’ve had him over to your place.”

“If you don’t cool your tits, I’m telling Lucy you’re crushing on her friend.”

“Don’t you dare!”

“What,” you simper, “think I won’t?”

He grabs his bag. “If you do, I’ll show her that video.”

You laugh, following him out of the rink. “You’re the worst.” You note how strange it is that he spent so little time on the ice as you two walk out, but you do not say anything about it.

“Hey, you’re the one throwing threats around.”

“Yeah,” you argue, “but my threat is clearly better.”

He rolls his eyes, pushing you again.

You two keep chatting on the way to the theatre about anything and everything, from new bands to upcoming games to the newest blockbuster horror movies. You are not personally on the hockey team, but, as his friend, it is your duty to care. Besides, you figure, it gives you something to look forward to.

The movie is fine. You convince him against sneaking an entire pizza in, you split a bucket of popcorn, and you give him shit for getting freaked out by the disembowelment scene. It is payback for him teasing you about crying during the last movie you two went to a couple of days ago.

You two stand at the streetlight.

“Dude, it’s like eight,” he groans. “It’s not even late.”

“True,” you agree. “Counterpoint: I still have another week’s worth of work to do by Friday on top of the homework I’ll have to do anyway, so unless you wanna help—”

“Forget I asked.” He pulls his hood up against the autumn wind. “Need me to walk you back?”

“Nah.” You shrug. “If someone mugs me, they’ll give me an excuse to not do my homework.”

“Murdered?

“I’m already halfway there.”

He grins. “See ya tomorrow, Y/N.”

“See ya, Jones.” You wave as he runs off.

The walk home is quiet and considerably easier than it was a couple of weeks ago. Seeing as you now get queasy whenever you get into a car, you have been limited to taking the subway and walking, which, among other things, has contributed positively to your physical strength. You know that you should probably at least try to take the bus or a cab around town to build your tolerance up, but the last time you tried, you had almost tripped and fallen from how shaky your legs were getting out. Oddly enough, you note as you go through the door, you do not have a considerably larger fear of heights than you did before, or of fire, but cars were tripping you up, even though you were the one that crashed it. You feel thankful that, at least, you do not think your fear is crippling. At least, you reason, you can still get into the car.

You lock the door behind you, debating whether you feel like adding to the collection of cuts you now possess— they are self-inflicted, but not intentionally so; you stubbornly refuse to acknowledge the fact that you physically cannot use your hands to cut things. You decide against it tonight, tossing your bag on the bed as you sprawl across it, admittedly exhausted. You allow yourself a couple of seconds with your eyes closed before you pull yourself up with a groan and get back to work.

A part of you wishes that you had the physical energy to stay out longer. You are always trying to find excuses not to sleep, and although the mountain of homework and readjusting your timelines for things you missed is certainly one way to keep yourself preoccupied, it is not exactly what you would consider fun. Then again, reliving your greatest traumas while you sleep is not exactly fun either.

You catch yourself peeling at the newly applied bandages on your fingers, fingernails catching under the crudely applied adhesives. Applying bandages properly requires more dexterity and patience than you currently possess, and you are hardly going to ask someone else for help with something as stupid as that. You have lasted this long without needing too much help. People can live by themselves. You will live, probably. Well? Not your concern.

‘I should eat something.’ Your eyes strain to focus on the piece of paper in front of you, your mind wandering aimlessly as you try to impress the actual importance of finishing this upon yourself, but you find that is an insurmountable feat.

You drop your bag off the side of the bed, reaching down and pulling your shoe off, leaning back into your pillows, the weight of the day practically immobilizing you. Fumbling hands switch the lamp off, bathing your room in momentary, blissful darkness before the gravity of your decision sets in.

“Alright, me,” you breathe to yourself. “What’s it gonna be today? My folks? Bradford? What’s his face? Hell,” you chuckle, “why not all three? I’m sadistic enough, I’m sure.”

You close your eyes. “Give me your worse,” you challenge as you slip into unconsciousness.

--

Two weeks.

He had kept his distance for about two weeks. It was not as if he did not care or was not morbidly curious what the crash had done to you—his glances through the curtains did not tell him much-- but, after some debate, he had figured you needed time to recuperate before you would want his company. Two weeks, he figured, would be enough time for you to get back on your feet or, at least, for you to start wanting company.

His excuse to see you had come in the form of his brother’s newfound prideful boasting. Feigning insult was as good an excuse as any to go see you; after all, he just so happened to be in the neighborhood anyway, and it was normal to pop in to see someone if you were already just a couple blocks down, right? Sneaking away was easy enough—they would not mind his absence—and he, after much prep work, knew exactly how and why he was going to say the things he would to get in your good favor. The plan, he knows, would have gone swimmingly.

His plans seem asinine when he hears you crying.

His brothers do not cry much. He does not, either; it was a habit that they had all thoroughly bullied themselves out of when they were much younger and, if they still did, he knew nothing of it. His master did not encourage this, per se, but talked, then, frequently about the importance of maintaining a more stoic disposition and not allowing emotions to cripple you in battle. Practically, Donatello was satisfied with that explanation, having not properly cried for more than a year now. To hear the sound again, especially coming from you, was novel.

Novel, too, is how you are crying. The sound is less of actual sobbing and more of you being strangled, quiet gasps for air escaping your lips as you shake on the bed, curled in on yourself and clutching at your chest as if whatever pain you are experiencing is centered and can be relieved by something between your collarbones. His eyes, for the first time, trace the lines on your skin, your sleeves riding up your arms to reveal them to him, tears racing down and along the gash in your face. Everything about the scene, from the soft gasping of panic to your position to the heavy scarring, is completely foreign to him, rivaled only by one or two particularly hard nights when he and his brother were much younger.

He slides in through the window, leaning onto the bed. His fingers flick your lamp back on as he grabs your shivering shoulder tightly, shaking you awake as he mumbles words of encouragement. He is not sure if his help will be appreciated, if snapping you out of it was even what he is supposed to do in this situation, but now is not the time to think of that. You are in pain. He can offer you this kindness. “Wake up,” he pleads, not thinking of how this would look until your eyes snap open to look at him.

Immediately, the reality of the situation sets in, and he scrambles off the bed. ‘Why did I think that would be a good idea?’ Panic. ‘You just walked into her room like a fucking creep. See, now she’s going to—’

“Sorry.”

He blinks, looking up at you from his place on the floor. “Huh?”

You clear your throat, wiping the tears from your eye with your sleeve quickly as you bring your knees to your chest, voice hoarse. “Sorry,” you repeat. “That you… I’m not sure what I’m apologizing for, but I know I should be apologizing.”

He is completely dumbfounded.

Your eyes glance to the open window. “I should probably start closing and locking my window, right?” You rub the back of your neck, voice clearing the longer you talk. “It didn’t occur to me since I’m so high up, but if you guys can get in, The Foot can too, right?”

‘Why is she apologizing?’

You push the hair out of your face. ‘You need something, right? I—uh—need to stop saying ‘right’ so much.” You shake your head to clear it. “’ Sup?”

He hears himself mumble some bullshit out about being in the neighborhood.

You sigh. “Sorry.” You close your eyes. “I’m usually up later; I’ve been so tired lately.”

‘Is she serious right now?’ He is completely lost. ‘She was just crying her eyes out in her sleep and now she’s apologizing? Did I miss something?’ You are smiling now, eyes still bloodshot, as if the whole thing is a figment of his imagination, still shivering where you sit.

He rises to his feet, kneeling in front of you on the bed. “What was it about?”

You blink, seemingly confused. “Huh?”

“Your nightmare,” he clarifies. “You were crying. What was it about?”

You avert eye contact. “Nothing too crazy,” you shrug. “Just about the crash. Nothing too exciting.” If possible, he thinks the bags under your eyes are worse than the last time you saw him.

He takes your hands loosely, turning them palms up to look, for the first time, at the patchwork quilt that is now your skin. “What happened in it?” He runs his thumb along the lines, keeping his voice low; he remembers how that used to help when Mikey used to have fits when they were younger. Leonardo and Raphael were never good at that; they took better to being more violently snapped out of their moods, but, then again, they never had this kind of breakdown; theirs were always more driven by loathing, self or otherwise.

You pause, still not looking him in the face as your muscles relax. He remembers, vividly, how he had done something similar when you two had first met, how much better, health-wise, you looked. ‘How long has it been since then? Three months? A little less?’

You take a deep breath. “Just… family shit,” you mumble, eyelids drooping as you trace his frame loosely. “Fire.”

Your gaze is piercing as you finally look at him properly. He feels something catch in his throat as you bow your head.

“It’s my fault, you know.” Your voice is so soft, barely a whisper. “That they’re dead, I mean.”

The air is a suffocating blanket that smothers you both.

“I never told you, did I?” Your focus does not shift as it might have a bit ago. It is locked solely and intensely on him, taking in every detail of his expression. “How I died? How they died? Why I died?”

Hesitantly, he shakes his head. He thinks it best to just be quiet and let you talk. He does not think he has ever heard anyone speak in quite the same tones, ever looked at him quite the same way you are.

You take another breath. “I wanted to try my hand at baking.” You force your eyes to stay focused on his. “I was—still am—not good about sleep. I always slept bad, and never at the right times. I used to take pills for it, to try to get myself back on track.”

He sees where this is going.

“I thought I could still stay up as late as I was used to.” You glance to the side, stealing yourself a second before focusing back on the boy in front of you. “I sat down in my room, turned on a movie. I set a timer. I fell asleep.” You swallow, hands shaking in his. “I can’t smell well, either. I must not have smelled the burning.” Your lips curl in a bitter smile. “Sure as fuck felt it, though, when I woke up.”

He lets you finish.

You try to blink the tears out of your eyes. “They were asleep,” Your voice rises ever so slightly. “I fell asleep at two something. I woke up when they started yelling.” You purse your lips, face reddening in shame as your nostrils flair. “They were trying to get someone out of bed when the roof caved in above them. My door got blocked.”

You feel yourself smile.

“So,” you strain not to cry, “that, Donatello, is why I’m here and why I’m dead, and why I really do deserve to burn again.” You laugh. “Hell, my body count is rivaling some serial killers, so that’s… that’s certainly something.”

He lets go of your hands, face blank.

You lean forward, placing your hands on your knees. “I don’t blame you,” You wipe a wayward tear out of your eyes, trying to swallow the frog in your throat. “Fuck, man, I’d think less of me, too, if it were me.” You nod towards the window. “I get it if you want to leave, but I thought you might want to know why—”

He stops you mid-sentence, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you to him.

Your arms lay slack at your sides as you try to process what is happening.

He does not say a word.

You break.

You burry your face into him, tears welling in your eyes as you let out a strangled sob. You hold onto him tightly as you struggle to breathe, body shaking as you wrap your own arms around him the best you can. The sound roars in your ears like thunder, the deafening quiet of the apartment punctuated only by your own cries. He gently holds you there, resting his head on top of yours. Each sound you make sounds as though you are physically being choked by your guilt, and his chest feels as though it is being crushed by an invisible hand as he listens to your pain.

Neither of you knows how long you stay like that.

He considers telling you a story from a long time ago, about some training he and his brothers had back then, but thought better of it; he does not want to upset you any more than you already are, and being in good company with someone like him may not be exactly what you need right now. Granted, he does not know what you do need, but he knows listening to him talk about bashing brains would not help your sensibilities any.

Instead, he stays quiet.

You pull away after a while, wiping your face off again as you mumble out an apology.

“Don’t apologize.” He clears his throat. “It’s good to cry; it releases endorphins.”

You smile at that. “Well,” you giggle tearfully, “if it releases endorphins.”

He smiles back, face flushing. You look good, he thinks, even with your face all red. He knows that, scientifically, there is probably a reason, but he cannot think of it right now.

He stands up. “I’ll get—”

You grab his hand tightly.

He looks back at you.

“Can I ask a favor?”

He blinks. “Of course,” he agrees easily. “Anything.”

You glance off. “Promise not to take it weird?”

He feels his heart rate increase. “Y-yeah,” he nods.

He feels you pull him gently back on the bed. “Can you stay here tonight?”

His eyes widen as they flicker between the mattress and you. “What,” he clarifies breathlessly, “like sleep with you?”

You nod.

“In the same bed?”

You hesitate, nod again.

He clears his throat, face heating again. “Like, actually?”

“If it wasn’t actually, I wouldn’t ask, would I?” You grip his hand tightly. “I just really don’t want to be alone tonight.”

‘Oh.’ He mentally kicks himself. ‘She’s scared. Don’t make her uncomfortable.’

“It’s alright if you don’t—”

He is extremely quick to reassure you that he is more than happy—‘Bad choice of wording.’—to stay tonight until you fall asleep, but that he would not stay the whole night as to not worry his brothers.

You nod in agreement. “That’s fine.” You rub the back of your neck. “Not sure I would be good company when I wake up, anyway; I still have class.”

“Oh, right.” He nods in understanding, pushing himself further onto the bed. “Which side…?”

You shrug. “Which way do you face?”

“I usually lie on my stomach.”

“Then it doesn’t matter.” You slide your sweatshirt over your head after a bit of squirming around, tossing it onto the couch.

His face is now scarlet. “Okay then,” he mumbles, laying down on the side away from the window. ‘Is she going to—no, stop that.’

You look over at him, face down on the mattress. You can almost feel the heat coming off him. “Are you alright there, buddy?”

He nods.

You shrug, laying down under the blanket and curling into him, facing the window. “Mind getting the light?”

He reaches over, clicking it off.

You sigh in content, turning to face him, teetering on the edge of the mattress. “I’m not venomous,” you inform him teasingly. “I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: of the two of us, you should not be the one who’s a nervous wreck.”

“You dunno that.” His voice is muffled by the bed.

“You’re the strong one,” you argue.

“So?” He turns his head to look at you. “I’m the guy laying in the—I’m just gonna stop that sentence.”

“It’s only bad if it isn’t consensual.” You smile reassuringly. “I invited you to lay with me, right? So, unless I make you uneasy, then we’re all good.”

He breaks eye contact. “So,” he clarifies, “you don’t mind if I move closer to you?”

You shake your head.

He hesitantly slides himself further onto the bed. “Can I move closer than this?”

“You’ve already seen me bawl my eyes out. You’re doing me a service. Move as close or as far as you want.”

He moves to press his side against you. “Is this fine?”

You nod. “Look, how about this?” You rest your arm under your head. “If you do something I’m uncomfortable with, the safe word is pina colada.”

‘We already have a safe word?’ He was not sure if he is on cloud nine or just terrified of you.

You are very confused why he looks so warm. “Do you need me to turn the AC on?”

He shakes his head. “I’m good,” he assures you tightly. Slowly, he reached an arm out and over your waist, pulling you closer. You do not seem to resist in any way, wrapping your good leg around one of his to pull him closer.

‘Conscious touching.’ He glances down at you, trying to act cool. ‘Conscious, intentional touching. She smells so nice and she feels—okay, this is not going to work if you keep being a perv.’

“Thanks,” you mumble, humming softly. “I appreciate this more than you know.”

Cloud nine. Definitely on cloud nine.

“Every time.”

You giggle.

He blinks. “What?”

“Every time,” you note, already nodding off. “Like in that book.”

‘Which one?’ “They wrote it down for a reason, right?” The longer he spends like this, the smoother he feels.

“Totally.” You smile, closing your eyes. “Just know that this goes both ways, alright? If you ever need help like this, you know who to call.”

This is new. ‘Help like this? What, like crying?’ His eyebrows furrow as he tries to understand what you mean. ‘Or he means if I ever need company in my—what did I just say?’

You pick up on his confusion. “Emotional help, I mean.” Your fingers trace the indentations in his shell absentmindedly. “I mean, I know sometimes I didn’t want to go to my family about stuff. I dunno if you have that…” you trail off, realizing that you might be unintentionally bashing his brothers. You sincerely do not want to blow this.

“I mean,” he says after a bit, “I think I get what you’re talking about.” He sighs. “You mean stuff that they’d make fun of me for, right?”

You nod.

He feels his heart melt a little. “I’ll have to take you up on that.”

You forgot how safe he makes you feel. “Goodnight, Donnie,” you mumble sleepily.

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

You pass out not long after that. If he has to estimate a general amount of time, he will clock it in at about five minutes. He does not move, however, until about thirty minutes before sunrise, too busy listening to the sound of your breathing and memorizing how exactly your body feels next to his. As he slips out of the window, early morning air waking him back up completely, he wonders if, someday, he could stay to see you wake up next to him. Not out of necessity, but just because you both wanted to stay like that for a while more.

‘I hope so. It’s a nice dream to have, anyhow.’

Table of Contents

Chapter 9

Chapter 11

[riotwritesthings]

song and dance number not included

WinterIron, T, 1.9k, crack, this is just crack, banter, vague nonpowered AU | A03

Once upon a time @gayspacesprinkles made this post. And fun fact about me I will write basically anything Ant says ahaha ILUBRO.

I know this has already been done better don’t fight me I just wanna make everything crack

Title: song and dance number not included Collaborator Name: Riot @buckybarnesbingo Square Filled: U4, One Night Stand @starkbucksbingo Square Filled: N1, World Domination Ship/Main Pairing: WinterIron Rating: Teen Major Tags & Triggers: Crack, banter Summary: Bucky has seen some wild things in his time as a Professional Cuddle Buddy. Nothing beats finding himself in Tony Stark’s penthouse with the sleep deprived genius himself. Word Count: 1,897

-

Bucky steps off the elevator, into the giant penthouse, and he is 90% sure that this is some kind of elaborate prank. Ten minutes from now someone is going to be shoving a waiver in his face and demanding to broadcast his embarrassing surprised face on national TV.

Because no way does someone like Tony Stark need to hire a cuddling agency.

He takes another couple steps, and there’s no cameras. There’s nothing, just a giant empty penthouse, and Bucky glances down at his phone to confirm that yep, he is in the right place.

He’s just about to turn and leave when a face pops up over the back of the couch.

The first thing Bucky notices is the big doe eyes, warm brown and huge like a Disney character, but so sad. The second thing he notices are the bags under the eyes, deep and dark like bruises, like they’ve been there for a while.

The fact that he’s just staring dumbly at Tony Stark is actually the fifth thing Bucky notices, after the insane lower lashes and the fluffy hair.

Luckily the man is apparently as sleep deprived as he looks, because he just blinks at Bucky for a couple seconds and by the time he speaks Bucky has mostly gotten his brain back online.

“Please tell me you’re really not a hooker,” Tony says, squinting at him, voice rough and a little whiny as he adds “I literally just want a hug.”

Bucky sputters out a laugh, rocking on his heels as he says “I solemnly swear I am not a prostitute. Though I do give great hugs.”

“Awesome,” Tony says with a happy sigh and flails his arms up over the couch, making grabby hands at him.

“Did you wanna move somewhere more comfortable?” Bucky asks, rounding the modernist monstrosity of furniture that is the couch. When Tony opens his mouth, suspicious look on his face, Bucky rolls his eyes and says “Still not a prostitute.”

Tony snaps his mouth shut again with a sheepish look, then huffs out a soft laugh.

“This is fine,” he says, sitting up fully and patting the spot between himself and the arm of the couch, “It’s just me here, I end up falling asleep out here half the time anyways.”

Which is... kind of a sad thought, actually. This penthouse seems huge, too big for one person, and based on the dark circles under Tony’s eyes he doesn’t get much sleep anywhere.

Bucky has barely dropped onto the couch before Tony is plastering himself to Bucky’s side, surprisingly strong arms looping around his waist and his face pressing into Bucky’s shoulder.

“Okay, start the clock,” Tony says, already going limp against his side.

“Hold on,” Bucky says with a laugh, twisting to the side slightly so he can lean back into the corner of the couch and get his arms around Tony in return, pulling him in a little closer and nearly fumbling his phone in the process. “Is that comfortable, um, Mr- Ow.”

“Just Tony,” Tony says, peeking up at him sourly and removing his impressively pointy finger from Bucky’s side, “unless you want to be ‘Mr Cuddle-Buddy’, that is.”

“I’ve been called worse,” Bucky says with another laugh, guiding Tony’s head back down to his chest. “I’m Bucky, though, for the record,” he adds.

“What are you, a Disney character?” Tony asks, voice muffled as he nuzzles into the curve of Bucky’s shoulder and then quickly blurts out “please play with my hair.”

Bucky doesn’t need to be asked twice, burying the fingers of his free hand in Tony’s messy curls, soft and wild like Tony has been running his own hands through it.

“Mm, perfect,” Tony sighs as he pulls his legs up onto the couch, curls himself into a neat little ball against Bucky’s side.

Bucky lifts his phone just enough to see the screen and punches the shortcut to set an alarm for three hours. “Okay, now you’re on the clock," he says, and then wedges his phone into the couch near his head where the armrest meets the back.

“You are already getting marked highly recommended,” Tony slurs out, and Bucky laughs softly. “Seriously, you are like 90% muscle how are you this soft.”

“It’s my specialty,” Bucky says dryly and Tony’s answering laugh shakes his whole body.

“Shh, I’m mentally composing my review,” Tony says, patting lazily at his chest.

“Out loud,” Bucky can’t help pointing out.

“Yes,” Tony says, lifting his hand again to wave it slightly as he talks, “Now where was I- Ah yes, guaranteed ‘not’ a prostitute-”

“-I could hear those air quotes-”

“Very warm,” Tony continues, completely ignoring his interruption except for the way his hand flails a little harder, “Possibly a Disney character."

“Pretty sure I’m not, someone woulda told me by now,” Bucky argues, grinning helplessly and pressing his fingers a little harder into Tony’s scalp.

“Oh, you definitely are,” Tony says with a happy sigh, rubbing his nose against Bucky’s chest, “The only question is, with a name like that, you’re either an adorable animal sidekick, or a villain. Possibly both.”

“What-“ Bucky objects around a sputtering laugh, “I don’t think there was actually a question there.”

Tony tilts his chin up just enough to give Bucky a sleepy glare as he says “Well, which one is it, is the question! You planning world domination?”

“Yes. My plan begins with cuddling you into submission.”

“Well it's working,” Tony says happily, and his expression really does look lighter than it had when Bucky first got here, even if he does still look exhausted. “But when is the song and dance number?”

“Later,” Bucky says with a snort, “It’s my dramatic exit.”

“Or you gotta pay extra, right? In the back room?” Tony asks with a grin and a lazy wink that’s really more of a slow, uncoordinated blink.

“Not a stripper either,” Bucky huffs with a roll of his eyes, resisting the urge to tug at Tony’s hair.

“Too bad,” Tony says with a dreamy sigh, and Bucky really does pull at Tony’s hair a little in admonishment even as he laughs.

Tony continues his rambling ‘review’ amid Bucky’s protests until his warm, teasing voice slowly tapers away, and an hour in he’s fast asleep, snoring quietly into Bucky’s chest.

Bucky is torn.

On the one hand, Tony probably wants to be awake for the time he’s paying for. On the other, he looks so tired.

Waking him up would probably be a crime, and despite Tony’s claims Bucky is not actually a Disney villain.

So he wiggles down a little more against the arm of the couch, slow and careful even though he figures that if Tony does wake up, he has two more hours to fall back asleep if that’s what he wants.

Bucky certainly wouldn’t mind, Tony is warm and pleasantly heavy against his side, draped over his chest, and he looks so much younger when his face is softened with sleep.

He looks so different in real life, so much more real than he looks on TV. So much smaller, curled up into a tiny ball on his giant couch, in his big empty penthouse.

Tony’s hair is a mess of fluffy curls, so soft as Bucky continues running his fingers through it, the muscles of his back strong under Bucky’s other palm.

When Bucky’s alarm goes off it’s startlingly loud in the quiet of the penthouse, and even though Bucky has to fumble with it a bit before he turns it off Tony doesn't do anything more than make a quiet, sleepy sound and wiggle in a little closer.

Bucky hesitates for a second, glancing down at Tony’s peaceful face, and then wedges his phone back into the couch.

He was going to make this his last appointment of the night anyways. He’ll just stay until Tony wakes up.

Bucky wakes up staring at the incredibly high ceiling of Tony Stark’s penthouse, bathed in early morning light.

“Ah, fuck,” Bucky groans quietly to himself.

“Yeah, I actually get that a lot,” comes the voice from somewhere around his sternum, and when Bucky tips his chin down it’s to find Tony with his chin propped against Bucky’s chest, giving him a thoughtful look.

He looks a little less tired, bags beneath his eyes a little less pronounced, gorgeous even with crease marks on his cheek from Bucky’s shirt. Even if there is something wary in his expression.

“Hi,” Bucky says stupidly, still trying to blink away the grogginess in his brain and wincing when his neck aches sharply. That’s what he gets for accidentally spending all night with his head tipped way back against the arm of the couch.

“Hi,” Tony says back, and his big Bambi eyes dart to the side for just a second before he says “I’m not wholly unfamiliar with the one night stand, but I must admit we usually make it further than the couch. Fully dressed. What-“

“If you accuse me of bein’ a hooker again, ‘m gonna roll you right off this couch,” Bucky says before he can wake up enough to stop himself, and while he’s busy mentally cringing Tony’s eyes go wide with recognition.

“Ah fuck,” Tony groans while his cheeks flush an appealing, distracting pink, “What’s the overtime charge look like for top rated pro cuddlers?”

“Nah, don’ worry about it,” Bucky says quickly, finally untangling his fingers from Tony’s hair so he can rub over his eyes, “sorry, should’a woken you up-“

“So you’re saying you’re off the clock?” Tony interrupts, one eyebrow raised in an incredulous look, “You stayed off the clock?”

“I’m- um,” Bucky sputters awkwardly, and then realizes he has no excuse and sheepishly finishes with “Yes?”

“Even after I’m pretty sure I called you a prostitute at least three times?” Tony asks, and he still looks mildly baffled but there’s a smile growing on his face.

“It was five,” Bucky corrects, smiling back helplessly, “Once by callin’ me a lady of the evening, which, incorrect on multiple counts.”

“Right, I remember now,” Tony says slowly, and there is a devious look in his eye as he adds “We decided you’re an animated cow.”

“It was a horse, an’ I think you know it,” Bucky says with a mock-glare, gently pinching Tony’s ear and then tightening his arm around Tony’s back when he unexpectedly bursts into wild giggles.

When Tony settles down again he digs his chin into Bucky’s sternum with a happy sigh. His expression goes thoughtful, chewing on his bottom lip, and Bucky tries really hard not to get distracted.

They’re so close that Bucky can just barely feel the way Tony’s breath shakes nervously on the inhale, and then he asks “So, what are your feelings on breakfast?”

“Important,” Bucky blurts quickly, heart jumping in his chest, “Very important. Especially if I’m going to accomplish world domination today.”

“I knew it!” Tony crows victoriously, pushing himself upright and elbowing Bucky in the gut in the process. He grins happily in response to Bucky’s pained grunt and climbs to his feet, grabbing Bucky’s hand and giving it a tug. “C’mon,” he whines when Bucky moves not at all, “we need to go raid my kitchen. I want to get on your good side before you take over the world, I’m hoping it’ll get me a good spot in the dance number.”

“Yeah, I think that can be arranged,” Bucky says, grinning wide as he lets himself be pulled to his feet.

[myrandom-fandomlife]

I Think I Kinda, You Know Chapter 1: The Agreement

JJ Maybank x Carrera! Reader 

Moodboard, Summary, and Playlist

Gif Credit 

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: Swearing, implications of smut, mentions of a toxic relationship and cheating

A/N: So, I’ve been working on this for a while, trying to make it an awesome first chapter. I was originally going to write actual smut into it, but I decided against it because I feel like my smut is super cringe. I might write descriptive smut in future chapters. I’m really proud of this, so I hope you guys like. Huge thanks to my beta and irl best friend @otherfandomsrun​ for proof reading, helping with ideas, and hyping me up. Show her some love! I kinda ended this on a cliff hanger, but I’m already working on chapter 2! Fic is below the cut, and feel free to ask to be on the tag list!

You sat next to your sister, Kiara, on the HMS Pogue. That pogue group of friends had expanded quite a bit in the last year. First it was you, Kie finally deeming you old enough to tag along on their adventures. (Which you had, anyway. You were only a year younger, for God’s sake.) Then Sarah, who you and Kie weren’t too fond of, but once you got to know her she was actually pretty awesome. Sarah’s dating John B, Kie and Pope are… complicated, which leaves you and JJ. Generally, you are left alone together because the others have paired off, and recently there has been some unexplained tension between the two of you. You couldn’t lie either, JJ is hot. But, you knew JJ wasn’t one for commitment, and if Kiara knew about your attraction to him, you wouldn’t hear the end of it. So you try your best to repress any non-platonic feelings of attraction down.

“You good Y/N?” Sarah asked. She’s laying her head in John B’s lap across from you. Pope is driving the boat and Kie is next to you, looking out at the water. JJ is on the other side of you, smoking.

“Yeah, just spaced out for a second. I’m good though,” You smiled and leaned over to the cooler to grab another beer. 

“I’m bored,” JJ complains, promptly stealing your beer, taking a long gulp. 

“Come on, JJ! I just opened that!” He smirks at you so retaliate by stealing his blunt from his hand and taking a hit.

“I know,” He takes another long drink. You take another hit and blow the smoke in his face. 

Kie pinches your side, making you flinch, “Careful. If you go home smelling like weed, mom and dad will have a fit.” Your parents weren’t strict, really. And they had warmed up to your group of friends quite a bit, occasionally inviting them over to dinner or to eat at the restaurant. Surprisingly, your mom’s favorite of the group was JJ, and she had always wanted either you or Kie to date him. She loved Pope, though, of course, but you thought she probably wanted to take in JJ as the son she never had. 

“Nah, Kie, let her live a little. Plus, your parents aren’t home tonight. Something about a ‘much needed date night.’” He shrugs at your confused faces and steals the joint back, taking a long drag. “She told me I have to stay with Y/N while Kie is working late tonight.” She was always talking to JJ and putting him to work when he came over to pick up you and Kie, so you weren’t surprised she had told him that before you guys left.

“Oh no, you don’t have t-” You start.

“I’m glad she’ll have someone there, I don’t like her being home alone,” Kie cuts you off, giving you a look that says ‘don’t argue with me, because I’ll win.’

“Yeah, some of the guys on Figure Eight, are super creepy,” Sarah adds. John B nods in agreement, but you think he’s dozing off. 

“You mean like, your brother?” Kie asks, causing Sarah to laugh.

“That guy, Chad, that Y/N dated was a huge creep, though,” JJ adds with a hint of hostility, and everyone nods in agreement. 

“And a cheater!” Pope calls, causing you to tense up. Chad was still a sore subject for you. You had dated for 6 months and right at the end you found out he had been sleeping with other girls the whole time. You broke up about a month ago and you were definitely over him, but it still hurt to know you wasted 6 months of your life on that scumball.

“Too soon, man,” JJ answers, passing the blunt back to you. You and him had grown closer in the past month, him being there to comfort you after the break up when the others couldn’t. Not to say that Kie and Sarah weren’t there for you, Sarah came to your house and you three watched movies all night when it happened. Of course, all three of the boys offered to fight him for you- which you politely declined; but it’s the thought that counts. Everyone helped you cope one way or another, but whether they were working, doing school work, or navigating their own new relationships, they couldn’t be there for you as much as JJ had in the past month. You weren’t mad at all, though. You were sort of grateful it had been him. Everyone else was walking on eggshells around you the first week or two, like they were scared to be happy in front of you. JJ was his usual self, though. He would make you laugh, and let you cry. He was there when you needed him most, and you were glad.

You happily take his offer and shrug the comment off, “It’s okay, J, he’s right.” He gives you a sympathetic look that says, you sure? And you nod, handing his joint back. 

“Oh shoot, I have work in an hour,” Kie says just as we pull up to the dock.

“Dad needs me home tonight to help with some project at the house,” Pope adds, while JJ starts securing the boat to the pier.

“Hey,” Sarah taps John B’s face lightly, “We have dinner with my parents soon. Time to wake up.” He stirs and opens his eyes groggily, flinching a little from the light. Everyone gathers their things, sunkissed and exhausted from the day of boating.

“And we have absolutely nowhere to be,” JJ playfully bows and holds out his hand to help you up onto the small deck. 

You laugh and take his hand, stepping off the worn vehicle. “Except for watching Friends at my house.”

“Very true. Pizza?” He asks brightly. JJ coming over to watch movies or binge a tv series while eating pizza with you and sometimes Kie had become a common occurrence. These nights usually ended with the two or three of you falling asleep sprawled on the sofa together.

You nod, “Duh.” A small chuckle escapes him and you walk up to the Chateau, where you had all met that morning. Then you all start going your separate ways, but you, Kie, and JJ all pile into the silver SUV your parents had gotten for Kiara when she turned 16. They got you a car when you turned 16 a couple of months ago, but Kie liked driving more than you did. You thought maybe it made her feel like you still needed her, which you do. You can’t imagine not having Kie to help you through everything in your crazy life. 

The sound of JJ saying your name from the front seat snaps you out of your thoughts, “What, JJ?” 

He turns his head and his lips curve into a smirk, “Oh nothing, I was just saying how hot you look tonight.” He then bursts out laughing at what you assume is the look on your face.

Small giggles leave you. Kie shoves JJ’s shoulder lightly and adds, “Stop hitting on my sister!” At that you and Kiara crack up too, the car filled with your laughter as you head home.

--------

Approaching the large house, Kie jumps out of her car almost as soon as it’s parked, muttering about being late and needing to get ready. As you and JJ head inside, JJ questions, “Want me to order the pizza?”

“Yeah, I just want to change out of this swimsuit,” You scrunch your nose up, “Saltwater.”

He softly smiles, “The usual?” You shake your head yes and shoot him a grin in return before turning to go up the stairs. You swear you can feel his eyes on you as you retreat.

You try to be quick, donning a cropped t-shirt and some cotton shorts. You throw your hair into a messy bun, bounding down the stairs when you’re done. Your eyes land on the blonde-haired boy in the living room and you see that he already has the pizza, “What are you? Magic?”

His eyes slowly trail down your body, making your face heat up, but he laughs, “Nah, just had to name drop and I was given high priority on my order.”

You giggle, and he adds that Kie had left for work while you were changing. You help get blankets set up on the couch, and turn on the tv. He’s already grabbed a few beers to split between the two of you and you usually just eat the pizza straight out of the box. Pressing play on Friends, you start your favorite kind of night.

--------

A whole pizza and two beers each into your sleepover, you’re both feeling a little buzzed. Currently, you are discussing Chandler and Monica’s relationship, “Yeah, I don’t know. I haven’t been laid in a while so I feel like I need a situation like them, where they just have sex. Minus the feelings though, because gross.” You shudder dramatically and he laughs.

“Yeah, I agree. I just want someone I can have really good sex with, no strings attached.”  He pauses, then looks up at you, a calculating expression on his face.

Then you get what he’s thinking, “JJ...”

“No, think about it. We’re both super hot, we both want to get laid, and we both want no feelings. We could even make a contract if that makes you feel better?” He rambles for a second, still thinking.

“Okay, say we did do this. What would the rules be?”

“Well, there’s the obvious one. The other pogues cannot know. Especially not Kie.” He licks his lips.

You nod, “Yeah, I get that. How about, if one of us gets uncomfortable with the arrangement, we stop?”

He meets your eyes with his dark blue ones and moves toward you on the couch, “Agreed. The last one is very important. We absolutely are not allowed to fall in love. Can you manage?” His lips curve into that smirk again and you can’t help but let a small laugh tumble past your lips.

“I can, can you?” He moves even closer from his side of the couch, and your breathing hitches. The noises from the TV can’t be heard over the sound of your blood rushing in your ears.

“Definitely.” Then his lips are on yours and you forget how to breathe for a second. His tongue is exploring your mouth, hands moving to the bottom of your thighs to wrap your legs around his waist. He starts kissing down your neck, your hands pulling at his hair and making him groan into you.

You feel him bite down on your soft skin, your chest heaving. “Fuck, JJ. Upstairs,” You moan when he continues his antics. He complies with your request and let’s just say, it was a very good night.

--------

You wake up naked, with an ache between your legs as you slowly recall the events from the night before. You groggily open your eyes, spotting a familiar blonde head right away. He looks peaceful. You turn over to check your clock and realize you have an hour until your early work shift, meaning Kie will be knocking at your door very soon.

“Shit,” You tap JJ lightly on the shoulder and he stirs, “J, get up, Kie’s gonna be at my door soon and I don’t think she’s gonna like that you’re currently naked in my bed.”

He smiles, “Good morning to you, too, sunshine.”

You hit him with your pillow, “I’m serious, JJ!” You get up, stumbling a bit on your sore legs, which he smiles proudly at. Then you’re rushing to put some clothes on and he reluctantly does the same.

He puts his hands out in front of him in surrender, “Okay, okay. How am I supposed to get out without Kie seeing? I can’t exactly walk out the front door.”

“Um.. how about the window?” Before JJ could respond, there was a knock at the door, both of your eyes widening in shock.

Tag list: @treestarrrrrrrr​ @sspidermanss​ @harrysbbby​ @thatsonobx​

[reddrobins]

of coffee cups + criminals - three [j.todd]

TW: language

ONE - TWO

Chapter three

Waking up whilst tied to a chair was not on [Y/N]’s to-do list. 

Groggily, she tried to look around the dimly lit space - though found it nearly impossible to open up her eyes. The front of her face felt hot and sore, a temporary reminder of the punch she had endured. 

Pushing through the searing pain, she opened her swollen eyes to the best of her ability. From what [Y/N] could make out, it was a large room - the ceiling nearly impossible to see. The space around her seemed to be crowded. Multiple different crates littered the area, some open - their covers tossed among the floor, others stacked atop each other. 

Based on the minimal sight of her surroundings, [Y/N]’s best guess at her location was a warehouse. Though, that didn't really help her narrow down exact places as Gotham was full of warehouses. 

Assuming that the Black Mask was smart enough to operate in secrecy, she knew that the warehouse wouldn't be one near Gotham Square. No, it must have been near the outskirts of town, maybe even close to Blüdhaven. 

“...my end of the deal.”

A voice sounded from the far right of the room, [Y/N]’s head snapping towards the sound. It was just light enough to make out a few figures, one animatedly talking.

“I told you, I always keep my word.” 

[Y/N] could easily tell who the baritone belonged to. Hell, it was the last thing she had heard, right before that fucker punched her in the face. Sionis grew closer, his conversation now clearer to her ears. Deciding it better to be found asleep, rather than face the criminal again, [Y/N] drooped her head, feigning a deep slumber.

“Not sure why you think she’s needed, didn't seem to know a lick about the Hood - but if this is all I gotta do to make sure he's taken care of… She's all yours.”

The small group was now mere feet in front of her, all the members oblivious to her eavesdropping. Risking it, she peaked open an eye in an attempt to count the pairs of feet.

One, Two, Three… 

On the fourth pair, her breath caught in her throat. 

She didn't believe it.

There was just no way.

And then in one quick sentence, Roman Sionis confirmed her fears.

“Pleasure doing business with you, Mr. J.”

-

Seven hours, thirty-two minutes and 12 seconds since the last time he had heard from her.

Jason was officially starting to panic. After phoning, dare he say it, Batman, he had sent a signal to the rest of the family - putting his own hubris aside to get [Y/N] back safely.  Though, that was over 6 hours ago.

Dick and Damian had gone to Blüdhaven, expanding the search effort outside of Gotham. Meanwhile, Tim had been instructed to remain in the cave and access each and every public camera in the city in hopes to catch a glimpse of [Y/N]. Steph stayed too, wanting to be on guard just in case Tim found something. Cass and Duke briefly went out on recon, but came back empty handed. The only two that were actively on the scene were Jason and Bruce. The distant father and son duo had spent the waking morning on the roofs of Gotham. 

Currently, Batman stood with his back towards Jason - getting intel from Oracle through the cowl. It had been like this for a while now, Bruce would silently get filled in whilst leaving his son to wonder what Barbara had said. Jason had just about had enough, it was his search after all, no one would be involved if it weren't for him. They should be filling him in, not Bruce.

“You ever planning on filling me in, old man?” Jason finally spoke. He leaned against the rooftop ledge, angrily (and anxiously) drumming his gloved fingers against his leather coat.

Bruce grunted as a reply, acknowledging his son's question, but not bothering to turn around.

Jason, with years of practiced impatience, scoffed and tapped the side of his helmet, tuning into the comlink. “Oracle, do me a favour - quit talking to Bats and actually tell me what's going on.”

He almost cringed at the harshness in his tone. He had never had anything against Barbara, if anything he felt closer to her than anyone else in the family. Shared trauma tends to do that to a person. Nonetheless, the secrecy between her and Bruce was getting on his nerves. He knew the longer he was out of the loop, the longer it would take to find [Y/N] - and that was the opposite of what he wanted. 

“...Red Hood, I don't know if that's the best course of action right now. I think letting Batman handle this would-” Jason was quick to rebuttal, the notion of letting Bruce handle anything set him off.

“I’m sorry Babs - But last I checked I asked him for help, not the other way.” The name drop, Jason will admit, was immature. Though the line was secure, he knew better than to expose identities. Sighing, Jason apologized, “... Sorry Oracle, that was on me. I just… I just need to find [Y/N].”

It wasn't often that Jason shared his true feelings with the Batfamily, thus this admission of truth was a pleasant surprise to Barbara. The older woman then spoke through her link, “It's fine Hood.” She then turned her words to Bruce. “I- I think he's right Batman. It is his case… He deserves to know everything.” 

Maybe it was admiration for Barbara or maybe it was the swell of ‘I told you so’ to Bruce, but Jason, for the first time since [Y/N] had disappeared, felt hopeful. 

Bruce finally turned around to face his son, who in turn titled his head in earnest. “Oracle,” The older man voiced, “shut off the coms.” A click resounded inside the two mens headsets, signaling the radio silence.

“Before I disclose the information, I need a promise.” Though he donned the cape and cowl, Jason knew that this was not the caped crusader asking for a promise, but his father. As civil as he could be, Jason nodded for him to continue. “I need you to promise me that you won't go running into wherever, that you won't let your emotions get the best of you.” 

The former Robin wanted to scoff, but opted for rolling his eyes under his mask. Bruce was being ridiculous, “This isn't fucking Serejavo, alright?” He knew that he stuck a nerve, he could see a fraction of a flinch from his mentor. “I’m twenty-two, not fifteen - remember? Or do you have me confused with another one of your child soldiers?”

Uncomfortable silence ensued between the two, the seconds ticking by as Jason quietly wished for [Y/N] to be by his side, making this time spent with his adoptive father tolerable. 

Bruce’s response was monotonous, practiced as to not show emotion, “That's enough. We’re on a life or death search, this isn't time for a pity party.” 

‘Okay, Ouch.’ Thought Jason, ‘Thanks for rubbing salt in the wounds, really great work there B-man.’

Having had enough of this familial crap for the day (lifetime it felt like), Jason conceded, “Just get on with it.”

Heaving a sigh, Bruce took a small tablet out from under his cape. He handed it to Jason who quickly sifted through all of the information. It was chocked full of files, pictures, videos, fingerprints, fuck - blood samples. He perused more and more, going further into the database and then - 

Jason thought his heart stopped, again.

He felt as though all the air had been pulled from his lungs.

File 104 out of 305: a single strand of acid green hair paired next to an unknown fingerprint.

“Nightwing found it while crashing a drug trade.” Bruce stated, tone calm and collected.

At that, Jason's brows furrowed, “That's not usually his M.O. Drug trades were never his thing.”

‘No,’ A sick voice hissed in Jason's head, ‘Brutally beating a child to death is though!’

Batman nodded, “Correct. He didn't conduct it. The Black Mask did.” 

Roman Sionis, that fucking dweeb. 

Jason had had a personal vendetta against him ever since his successful take over of the Gotham underground. In the past, he wouldn't have paid a second of attention to that idiot, but once Falcone dipped, the crooks of Gotham were his for the taking. Sionis seemed to think that just any ‘Roman’ could replace ‘The Roman’. 

“What's this got to do with [Y/N]. I don't have time for an extra case, if you haven't realised, my girlfriend-”

Bruce was quick to interrupt before Jason continued one of his heated tangents, “We have reason to believe that he and Black Mask are working together.”

Jason stayed silent, for the first time actually wanting to hear what Bruce had to say. “That being said, rather, we believe Black Mask has hired…” The older Wayne looked at him head on, trying to gage his emotional response before he pressed on, “We think he has hired the Joker.”

It was involuntary, just an ingrained reaction for him to tense up at the mention of the Clown Prince of Crime. Maybe his constant thoughts of [Y/N] were clouding his detective skills, but he had yet to make a connection - or maybe he knew exactly where Bruce was going, but refused to even think of the implications.

“So what are you saying…”

The dark knight closed his eyes, composing himself before giving the final blow.

“I am saying, Black Mask has hired the Joker… to get rid of you.” Even with the mask on, Bruce could sense the indignance oozing from Jason, he held his hand up to silence him and continued, “You’ve been severely depleting the Black Masks profits - he’s losing grip of the crime world. He’s deemed you as the one thing stopping him from complete control, and he's desperate. So desperate that he's hired a maniac to do his bidding.” 

Taking another deep breath, Bruce let the information he had been keeping in, spill out, coating Jason in its toxic bearings. “The Joker knows you, as much as I hate it - he knows you better than any other criminal out there. He knows how to get to you. He knows your weaknesses. He knows your strengths, and he knows your allies. Even Jason Todd’s allies.”

And just like that, the small ounce of hope that Jason had felt earlier, diminished to nothing.

He would have taken being blown up again than this.

“Where is he?” Was all that Jason could muster. 

Bruce immediately shook his head, “No, Rob- Red Hood, I told you, you promised not to go in like-”

“Like last time?” Jason interjected.

Under the cowl, Bruce's face felt hot, unexpected embarrassment rising to his cheeks. “I didn't say that.” He grit out.

Jason finally let out the over do scoff, “But you meant it.” He then approached the larger man, leather gloved hand stretched out, “Now give me the fucking location.”

Though Jason was the closest to Bruce's build within the family, the older Wayne still had a height advantage on him. He stared down at his son, piercing eyes glaring at Jason to ‘stand down’.

Lifting a hand to press the comlink on, Jason spoke into the helmet mic, “Oracle, send me the Jokers coordinates.”

Before Bruce even got a chance to interrupt Barbara's channel, Jason had received the map, location locked in.

Jason backed away from the Bat, crossing over to the ledge once more, grappling gun at the ready.

“Jason!” 

Annoyed, he turned around to catch a glimpse at his mentor, expecting to be yelled at or lectured. Surprisingly, Bruce gave him a tight lipped nod, then - “Be safe.”

Not bothering to acknowledge his fathers - what he assumed to be - half assed façade of care, he swung to the next building, ready to get his girl back.

Bruce knew that two words wouldn't make up for all the hurt he's put Jason through, but it was the most he could do at this moment. He was afraid, he was worried, he was everything a father would be when their child throws themself into danger. Letting out a sigh of built up frustration, he linked up to Babs.

“Keep an eye on him, if it gets out of his control - I’m going in.” Oracle gave a hum of recognition, tuning in her cameras to Jason's helmet. 

“Keep him safe… please.”

[nitannichionne]

If He Was YOUR Fan (Henry Cavill Fan Fic) - Chapter 7: Working It Out

You awaken for the first day of work at dawn. You did not get a lot of sleep feeling so excited and anxious at once. You find out that Archer and his brother go work out at a nearby gym, and asked to tag along the night before. Naturally, you must find a plus one.

“I can’t believe you talked me into this,” Stella says, sliding into the back seat of Archer’s four door convertible Cooper.

“Ah, brought a friend, I see.” Archer smiles widely. “Hey, Stella.”

“Hey, Archer,” Stella greets. “Hi, Stuart.”

You just notice the slight breathlessness of her tone. She’s into Stuart!

“Hey.” He smiles widely, his dark eyes seeming to sparkle.

The drive wasn’t long. You all slide out and go to the gym, showing your studio IDs to get in without fuss or muss.

“Oh, there he is!” Stella squeals, tugging on your arm.

Archer and Stuart look over in the direction Stella does. Archer rolls his eyes. “Dear God. It is him.”

“Let’s go—” Stuart shrugs.

“Oh, uh—” Stella is wide-eyed and smiles the same way she heads to the treadmills. “Sure.”

“You coming?” Archer asks.

“No, I have a workout,” you explain. You don’t tell them that you made sure you were in your best condition traveling Europe alone before you left home. “I’m hitting the elliptical.”

“Seriously?” Stella asks

“I’ll be—” you point at the row of them. “right over there.” You smile and move on. After a few stretches, you get on the elliptical and set it for ten minutes. You put in your earbuds and simply go for it. You listen to your workout faves-“Goa,” and “Extreme Ways” from the Bourne Supremacy” soundtrack. Passing the ten minute mark, you slow down to a stop just as the last song ends. You turn and—

“Oh!” you gasp, almost turning and stepping right into Henry.

“Good morning.” He says calmly, catching your by your forearms to help you balance.

You realize you have been this close-no, more than this close—to him before. “Wow, sorry!”

“It’s alright,” Henry chuckles lightheartedly. “You nearly knocked me down though.”

You giggle nervously, wondering if anyone knows how you’re feeling inside. “Well, you know us little pieces of leather-well put together but stronger than we look.”

“And soft to the touch?” he says so softly only you hear it. You feel the heat rushing to your cheeks. “So you made it.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you nod with a chuckle.

“And found the gym,” he smiles. “Most assistants don’t make it here unless it’s the weekend.”

“I thought I’d get it in before the day starts,” You shrug. “I don’t know if I’ll be here everyday, but it’s nice to know it’s here.”

“Well—” his gaze averts. “I’ll see you around then.”

“Yeah--” you smile, and for a few seconds, you are both staring at each other.

Suddenly, Archer calls you. “Hey, you done over there?”

Henry’s eyebrow raises and you do a slight shake of your head. “What?!”

“Whatcha doing next?” Archer asks. “Maybe I’ll join you!”

Henry’s gaze hardens and you feel uneasy. “See you around.”

“Hey!” Stella smiles, running over, with Stuart in pursuit.

“Oh, Henry, this is my friend Stella from catering, and this is Archer and Stuart from set design.”

Henry nods and watches you glance at Stella and Stuart standing close together.

“Ah,” a smile tugs at his lips. “Nice to see you all.”

“What’s next?” Archer asks. “Let’s do what you do.”

“You sure?” you ask.

“We’ll just…follow you.” Archer’s last two words hold suggestion and you blink at him, then up at Henry, who is now showing total disapproval.

“Uh, okay—” you shrug, trying to casual. “Care to join us?” You know the answer to that.

He shakes his head. “Total workout planned out,” he sighs. “I’ll definitely take a raincheck though.”

Archer frowns, and Henry’s eyes almost smolder as he looks into yours. “See you around.”

“Yeah,” you breathe.

“Yeah,” Archer clearly doesn’t like it, but he doesn’t know does he, you tell yourself. Another to come clean to, you cringe inwardly. “Well?”

“Well, wha-“ You stop. Henry has gone back to his weights, and you need to clear your head. That’s what you came for, isn’t it? “Come on.” You go to the rower and sit on a rower. You hit play but adjust the volume, “Hanging Tree Remix” playing. You glance at the mirrors and sense Henry’s mood-it’s isn’t good, and he’s thinking-what, you don’t know.

You take a deep breath and hit the floor. “Plank workout.” You play “Yellow Flicker Beat” and then “Breath of Life,” concentrating on it though you see him slow and watch a few times. He leaves with a parting glare and you try to ignore it. You finally hit weights, do a few a combination exercise sets to songs like “24” and “cool down to “You Gotta Be.”

“Okay, guys that’s it. Thirty minutes, let’s go!” You look around, feeling relieved and invigorated, but now you wonder what will happen next. He seemed displeased. He couldn’t--he wouldn’t think you and Archer were starting something—would he?

You shower and change for work, and coffee does it’s magic as you grab a cup. Dressed in cargos, a t-shirt and vest, you tie your hair up into a ponytail and don a cadet cap.

“So who are you-Kim Possible or Lara Croft?” Stella jokes.

“Shut up,” you joke back. “Look at you.”

“Yeah we got polos,” Stella shrugs, tapping the name of the catering company embroidered on it. “We’re walking billboards.”

“How many did you get?”

“Three.”

“Ew.”

“Yeah, good thing we have a washer at the house.”

“Tell me about it.”

Your morning flies by and you seem to do well. Between your backpack and leg pack, you were able to do quite a bit without having to run around. Soon the assistants are giving you more to do, and you wonder if this is how it is. You meet up with Stella for lunch, opting for a late one since she serves cast and crew.

“Okay, gotta tell you something!” she half squeals, half whispers. She pulls you by your hand and takes you behind the catering trailer.

“What?” you ask. You dump your salad into a huge cup, pour dressing on it and shake it. You both sit down on the back steps and leaning together. “It’s the first day, don’t gossip.”

“Gracie got shut down.”

“What?”

“Gracie asked Henry what he was doing tonight, and he said he was tired.”

Your heart deflates but you manage to remain aloof. “So?”

“Then she suggests they get together this week, catch up on old times?”

“And he said—”

“He said he is going to be busy!”

You lean in closer. “Then what?”

“She tells him he always seemed to find time and he says ‘Unless my schedule is full.’” Stella does her best British impression as she quotes Henry. “Her eyes got big and she looked around. ‘Who?’ she asked and Henry shook his head and walked off!”

Your heart starts to race. Are you the “Who?”

The afternoon is short since days of shooting start at dawn or a short time after. After getting to do lists for the next day, you are ready to go home, but decide to get a jump on things and start before you go.

“Aw.”

You sigh, recognizing Hannah’s voice, but decide not to look up at her as you input things into your tablet and schedule alarms to go off on your watch. “May I help you?”

“Gracie is not happy.”

“Oh.” You keep tapping and dragging things about.

Hannah crouches down in front of you and you look up at her. “She thinks Henry has someone here on set. Happen to know who it is?”

You lock eyes with her and take a breath. “Gossiping and mischief will get you fired. I thought you needed the money, Hannah.”

“I told her I thought it was you, and she laughed!”

You swallow hard, feeling your jaw clench.

“She looked at you and didn’t regard you as competition,” Hannah smiled maliciously. “We will find out.”

You scoff and shake your head. “Wow, so you two have time for this?”

“Two heads are better than one.”

“Ah, that is what they say,” you tilt your head to the side. “but it depends on which two heads.”

Hannah straightens. “I know you think you have a chance because you met him once, but you need to back off. He’s just being nice to you.”

You go back to your work on your tablet. “Thanks, I’ll take that under advisement.”

Hannah turns on her heel and leaves. You finish your work and shake your head. “Great,” you exhale heavily. “Two of them.”

“Two of what?”

You look up to see Henry. “God, you have got to stop sneaking up on me like that.”

He grins and offers his hand. You take it and he pulls you up effortlessly. “How was your first day?”

“Not bad,” you wrinkle your nose.

“How about you come to my place?” he asks. “I’ll get you home before sunrise, I swear it.”

You grin up at him. “Let’s try before the stroke of midnight.”

“How about curfew?”

“Deal!”

@mistress-of-ward @nuggsmum @messyinsomniacbookgirl @jencanbeyouryengeralt​ @sweetdreamsofgelato​ @maryann84 @omgkatinka​ @the-soot-sprite @viking-raider @keanureevesisbae​ @henryobsessed​ @summersong69​ @kinbhot4henners​ @sunshine96love​ @michelehansel​ @radofrivia @thelastsock​ @michelehansel @tumblnewby @henryobsessed @defffcc @tenaciousneckpartypainter @rn7rocks

[tlou2holland]

Joel x reader (pt3)

Summary: you and Joel have a chat and it gets a little steamy 

warnings: cursing and a tiny little bit of smut (maybe??) 

you can read the previous parts here: Pt 1.   Pt 2.

A couple of days have passed, and to your disappointment, Joel didn’t show up again to check on you. Instead, he didn’t show up at all, nor to his duties or small gatherings in the evening. You’re too scared to ask anyone about his whereabouts, not wanting your secret to come out, but not seeing Joel for days takes a bigger toll on you than you’d like to admit. So here you are, all grumpy on the usual Saturday-dance, declining anyones offers to dance with you. “What got you so quiet, hmm?“ Dina appears next to you, casually leaning against the bar while you watch the people around you sway to the music. “Just the aftermath of my cold, I guess.“ You sip on your drink and briefly glance over to her. Her hair is all messy and a thin layer of sweat covers her forehead and neck. She looks happy, and beams at you with her freckled face. “Come on, that’s a lame excuse. Is it because of Joel?“ Dina wiggles her thick eyebrows and you slam your glass on the counter, a little harder than intended. “What?“ You look at her, eyes flickering back and forth between her eyes and little smirk. “You like him, don’t you?“ She brushes a strand of hair out of her face and you frown. “Is it that obvious?“ Your stomach starts cramping in an uncomfortable way and you cross your arms. “No, well, kinda. I mean,I see how you look at him. You don´t even care for the other boys here.“ She giggles and you scoff. “Who else is here to care about. Jesse?“ You raise an eyebrow and Dina shakes her head. “Marcus fancies you, you know?“ Dina picks up your glass and takes a sip, cringing at the bitter taste. “Marcus?“ You look around, finding the blonde haired bloke sipping on his beer, talking to Jesse and Seth. “He asks you to dance with him every week, and you always say no!“ Dina hands you your glass and you rest it against your chest, watching Marcus from afar. He´s good looking, with blue eyes and plump lips. He is a little taller than Joel but not as muscular, still fit enough to flex with his muscles from time to time. You sigh and turn to Dina, distress written all over your face. “But I don’t want him, he looks way too young.“ You try to reason, but Dina is not having it. “He´s your age, Y/N. You simply have a thing for older men.“ With that, she grabs your hand and starts pulling you towards the center of the room. “You gonna say no to me, too?“ She moves her shoulders to the beat and forces you to do the same, not letting go of your hand and pulling it towards her from time to time. You chuckle and look at her, a small smile making its way onto your face. “I can´t say no to you.“ With that you start to let loose, and actually have some fun. Ellie joins you two, and you watch with a big grin as she makes a move on Dina. Soon, they dance arm in arm, hands clasped around each others necks and faces dangerously close. You decide to give them some privacy and make your way to the corner, just to escape the heated room. You breathe in the cold night air and exhale, watching your breath fan like a cloud before you. You close the buttons of your blouse and sit on the porch, resting your feet on the steps beneath you. “I see I´m not the only one who wanted to escape for a bit.“ A warm voice says behind you. You turn your head to see Marcus shyly smiling at you. You return the smile and nod. “It´s quite loud in there.“ You rest your arms on your knees and feel Marcus sit down next to you, the smell of lavender soap filling your nostrils. “I´ts nice out here.“ Markus takes a deep breath and looks at you, eyes glossy and cheeks tinted pink. You smell alcohol as he exhales, and look forward. It’s dark and empty on the streets of Jackson, laughter and music coming from inside. “How have you been? Didn´t see you much around these days.“ Marcus tries to strike up a conversation with you, and you sigh. “Can´t complain. Just had a cold, that’s all.“ You press your lips together and Marcus eyes widen. “Why didn’t you tell me! I would have kept you company.“ He bumps his shoulder into yours and you rub the spot with a small smile. “That´s kind, but I wouldn’t want you to get sick.“ With that you get up, not comfortable with how close he’s getting, and turn around one last time. “I´m heading home, see you around.“ You wave at him and wander off, not seeing the disappointed look on his face. You silently curse under your breath, why did Dina have to tell you that Marcus likes you? You would have preferred not to know. You hug your body as you walk over the graveyard, chills erupting along your spine. After all the deaths you’ve witnessed, and brought along others, you still don’t feel comfortable with death. Your own father lays here, and the thought saddens you. He would have liked the life in Jackson, of that you were sure. But he got infected shortly before you made it here, and shot himself to prevent loosing his mind. Tommy and Jesse were the ones to help you carry his body into the camp and carve his tombstone. Joel and Ellie showed you around, taking you in and looking after you while you were still adjusting to your new life and making friends. Maybe that’s why you feel so strongly for Joel, and connect the most with Ellie. Joel, you wonder how he’s holding up. You could stop by his house and pay him a short visit, just to see if he’s alright. If he doesn’t want to see you, you can still go home and hate yourself for ever going. But at least you’d know he´s fine. Mind made up, you turn right instead of taking your usual path home. Joels house isn’t all too far away, and you feel your heartbeat speeding up as you leave another row of houses behind you. Maybe he´s already asleep, you think. But when you make it to his driveway and hear the strumming of his guitar, you know he´s not. Fixing your hair and blouse with your trembling hands, you breathe in and walk towards his porch. There he is, sitting beneath the faint lightning of his lamp, dressed in Jeans and a light brown jacket. He has his head down, pulling on the strings with his long fingers. You listen to the melody he´s playing, and bite your lip when he starts humming a song you don’t recognize. Coming out of the shadow, you clear your throat and make him look up, music dying in an instant. “Hi.“ You say breathless, voice soft and sweet. Joel puts his guitar down and blushes, scratching his neck. „Hi.“ He says back, eyes finally meeting yours. “You heard me sing?“ He asks, hand pointing to his guitar. You just nod and slowly make your way up the steps, dry wood creaking beneath your feet. “Yeah, I didn’t know you could sing.“ You dig your hands into the pockets of your jeans, and Joel watches how your blouse flatters in the wind. “It´s not singing, but I’m glad you didn’t laugh.“ Joel chuckles and you exhale audibly, nerves slowly calming down. He´s not sending me home. “How are you?“ You ask, head tilting slightly to the side. Joel gets up and slowly walks over to you, resting his body against the railing. From this angle he looks younger than usual, and you can´t help it but stare at him. “I uh, did a lot of thinking the past days. Given the time I had due to my cold.“ Joel looks at you with soft eyes and you almost gasp, finding yourself trapped in his gaze. “I got you sick?“ You whisper, feeling guilty. Joel breaks eye contact and turns around to rest his hands on the railing. His face half hidden by shadows, you can´t see his wrinkles and scars, nor the grey hair. He looks handsome, and you wonder what Joel looked like when he actually was your age. Not that he´s not handsome now, the grey hair and scars suit him, but a girl can wonder. “Looks like it. It’s been years since I’ve been this knocked out.“ Joels finger twitch and you watch him caress the wood with his fingertips. “I´m so sorry, I hope you feel better now.“ You start picking on some chapped pieces on the railing, and lower your gaze. “I´m as good as new. You feel better, too?“ Joel looks over to you and you blush under his intense glimpse. “Yeah. As good as new.“ You laugh slightly and Joels lips form into a smile, eyes staring ahead. “What have you been thinking about?“ You ask after some minutes of silence, dying to hear his voice again. “You.“ He states, making you cough in surprise. “Me?“ You ask in disbelief, insecurity tying your stomach in knots again. “It´s just-“ Joel turns his body towards you and you suppress the urge to brush some hair out of his pretty face. “It's been a while since I’ve been with someone. Actually, its been so long, I didn’t even think about it for years.“ Joel briefly looks into your eyes before continuing, mouth opening and closing once. “I don´t know what happened that I’m suddenly thinking about it. Being with someone, I mean.“ Joel shrugs and you reach out, carefully touching his face and brushing your thumb over his temple. “I don´t know how you feel about me, but I know that I like you.“ You confess, hand still resting against his cheek. He doesn’t pull away, so you take it as a good sign and continue. “but I don’t know where this is going, and it scares me.“ You whisper the last part, heart beating painfully inside your chest. He can crush your heart if he wants to, you just gave it to him, a man you’ve known for almost four years. Joel just looks at your face and deep wrinkles form on his forehead, a grumble erupting from his throat. “We can find out.“ He whispers back, voice shaking slightly but still sounding gruff. He grabs your wrist and rests his thumb on your pulse, leaning into your hand. His stubble tickles your palm and you can feel the little hairs bending beneath your hand as you run it along his jaw, taking in every small detail of his face. “I really like you.“ You mumble, entranced by his eyes that almost appear black due to the lack of light. “I really like you, too.“ Joel slides his hand over the railing so your fingers touch, and covers your fingertips with his own. They feel warm and rough, a nice contrast to your cold and soft ones. “Do you want to come inside, have a coffee with me?“ Joel looks at your intertwined fingers and your stomach does a flip. “You have coffee? Where did you get that?“ Your mouth pulled into a half smile, Joel pushes himself away from the railing and lets his hand slide from yours. He grabs his guitar and opens his door, waiting for you to step inside. “The people that came here last week-“He starts while you slip past him, shoulder brushing his chest. “They had some coffee with them. I´m kinda embarrassed what I had to give them in exchange, but it’s not too bad.“ He closes the door and peels of his jacket,  hanging it onto a hanger on the wall, guitar resting next to it. You try not to look around too much, and wring your hands together instead, waiting for him to guide you into the kitchen. “What did you trade?“ “I´m not telling you that.“ Joel laughs and you frown, but it disappears as soon as he touches your lower back. “This way.“ He gently pushes you forward and into his kitchen, slipping his arm around your waist and resting you against the counter. “Your house is nice.“ You say, growing hot under his touch. “Ellie helped me decorate it.“ Joel squeezes your hip before pulling away and boiling some water, back turned towards you. His shirt clings onto his bicep and stretches at the back, making it hard for you to look away. It’s been a while since you got close with a man, and to see Joel like that sure does things to you. You lick your lips and try to keep your thoughts innocent, but your mind and heart where drowning in Joel. It sounds pathetic, but he is all you could think about at the moment. “liking what you see?“Joel turns around and catches you staring, an amused smile on his lips. You feel like he purposefully flexes his bicep and you groan. “Stop being a tease.“ You look away, heart swelling at Joels laughter. “It´s nice to know I still got it in me.“ Joel says, making you furrow you brows. “Got what in you?“ You ask, hands cupping the counter behind you. “making woman weak in their knees.“ Joel lifts the kettle from the oven and fills two mugs with the boiling liquid. “Now you’re getting cocky.“ You joke, embarrassment vanishing at the playful atmosphere. “Oh yeah, so there’s no reason you’re holding onto that counter?“ Joel quickly traps you in place, knee bumping between your legs. Your hands automatically find their way to his chest and you wonder Do I now get to do this whenever I want? 

“That was an awful pun.“ You shake your head, voice slowly getting stuck in your throat. “No pun intended.“ Joel mumbles, making nonsense but you don’t care anyways. What you care about are his strong hands on your hip, lifting you on the counter until he stands in between your legs. The Mable is cold beneath your bum and you jump forward slightly, wrapping your legs around Joels hip. Your fronts press together and his breath mingles with your own, lips almost touching. “You drive me mad.“ Joel´s lip ghosts your cupids bow and you tilt your head back to feel his lips on yours. “makes two of us.“ With that, you wrap your arms around his neck and burry your hand into his thick hair, pulling on the greying strands. Your legs hooked behind his hip, you push your heels into his lower back and inch him even closer. You can feel his arms tense as they wrap around your middle and eagerly pull on your blouse, revealing your soft flesh. “Arm´s up.“ You mumble, mimicking Joels actions and pulling on his shirt while your tongues dance together. He obliges and lifts his arms, shirt flying somewhere near the living room. You wish you could take some time and just look at him, take everything in, but there’s no time as his mouth is already attacking yours again with hot kisses. All the small grunts you emit from him sound like honey in your ears, and you grind against him, cheeks burning up. “Your turn.“ Joel groans, impatiently toying with the buttons on your blouse until he has them all open and slides the fabric of your shoulder. There you are, sitting only in jeans and your bra, chest rising and falling rapidly. “You´re so pretty.“ Joel kisses you again and works his fingers on your bra, slowly trying to unhook it. He gets stuck with the last bit and you help him, a giggle escaping your lips. Joel laughs and leans his forehead against yours. “I told you its been a while.“ He runs his thumb along your breast and you shiver, arching into him. “It´s been a while for me, too.“ Your hand slowly creeps towards the center of his jeans, sneakily slipping between your two bodies and opening the front. Joel sighs heavily and hides his face in your neck, sucking on the sensitive skin. You feel him grow in your palm and the heat in your core gets unbearable, so you rub yourself against his thigh in need for some release. “Let me touch-“ The slamming of the front door cuts through Joels words and you pull your hands out of his jeans, immediately going to cover up yourself. Joel looks around confused and shields you with his body, trying to make out the source of the noise. “Joel? Are you there I- Oh shit!“ Tommy walks in and covers his eyes when he sees you, half naked on the counter. He turns around and stifles a laugh, hand wiping under his nose while he rocks back and forth on his heels. “I guess you need that.“ He bends forward and throws Joels shirt at you, another laugh slipping past his lips. “Take it.“ Joel softly pulls it over your head and you slip your arms trough, eyes scanning the floor for your blouse but you can´t find it. Joel crosses his arms in front of his chest and leans against the counter, an annoyed expression on his face. “This is so embarrassing.“ You whisper, hiding your face behind your hands and slipping away from Joel, toes touching the ground again. “Tommy?“ Joel growls impatiently, mad at his brother for ruining the moment. “Can I turn around without seeing something I shouldn’t see?“ Tommy cranes his neck and you rub your temple. “Oh my god.“ You fix your hair and Joel seems uncomfortable as well, torso exposed to the air that suddenly doesn’t feel so hot anymore. “Joel and Y/N, what a surprise.“ Tommys voice drips with sarcasm and you groan, wishing for the earth to swallow you. “What do you want, Tommy?“ Joel gives you an apologetic look and Tommy hides his hands in his pockets. “I wanted to talk with you about furthering securing the gates, but I see you’re busy.“ He looks over to you and casually waves, finding your embarrassment more than amusing. “That´s alright, I was about to, ehm.“ You cough and search for your bra, without success. “Looking for this?“ Tommy points to his left and you nod, rushing to collect your bra. “I was about to leave, anyways.“ You finish, cringing at your own lie. With the piece of lace in your hands and Joels shirt around your body, you storm out of the door without looking back. Could it have gone any worse?