#I don’t want you to feel bad
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DUDEEEE, I WANNA BE FRIENDS WITH YOU SOOO BAD.......... BUT I FEEL LIKE ITS WEIRD TO ASK....
I’m not very comfortable with parasocial relationships/parasocial stuff sadly, we’re very much strangers and you don’t know me, and I certainly know very little to nothing about any of you. I’m glad you like my art! I’m always happy to see my art inspire other people and bring joy into other people’s lives, that’s amazing, but that…doesn’t mean we should be friends just because you like the select drawings and sketches that I’ve put on the internet. ESPECIALLY if you’re a minor, that’s a whole risky/dangerous ball park in itself !! I’m very uncomfortable with minors even DMing me, the relationship between fan and creator should be entirely professional at most.
There are a lot of influencers and brands out there that try to make their fans think they’re your friend, when really they’re not, and I really don’t want to be anything like that to you guys. It’s a kind of idolization and manipulation and a power dynamic that squicks me out in its entirety. There’s a lot of potential risk and danger in fan/creator relationships, and I do not want you guys to put me on a pedestal like that. Dont even consider me a “content creator,” or an idol. I love being an inspiration to people because I like the idea of bringing joy into others lives through my work, but that doesn’t mean I want you to put me on a pedestal and entrust me with your relationships and personal life. I’m not your friend, I’m not the best, I’m not even an expert at what I do, far from it. I’m just some random person who draws cats in their spare time, and you guys happen to like it, that’s all. I’m a real live person, with a name, a family, interests, flaws, mistakes, screw-ups, a personality you only see 10% of, friends, and most importantly I don’t know you. You don’t know me. No parasocial stuff please. Please stay safe out there and be careful of who and what you trust on the internet
#aphidasks#ask to tag#also no harm meant to anon#I’m not mad at you or anything just uncomfortable#I don’t want you to feel bad#we all gotta learn this lesson at some point#I learned it through reading horror stories on the internet growing up about how content creators contacted their fans in DMs and used that#idolization to manipulate them into NASTY stuff#it is absolutely not healthy for you to be my friend#super uncomfortable with that kind of power dynamic#do not#and be very wary about doing that with other creators too#keep yourself safe on the internet
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Firefox-official vs electronicmail
Hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby
okay come up with a better idea then. firefox-official is gone asshole it’s electronicmail or nothing
#this one was hard to respond to because it elicited the usual anon rage in me#but i had to think about it anyway.#this blog has been around for less than a month and it is driving me fucking crazy#don’t you think i know?#dont you think it hurts enough already#i dont want this blog either i want my old blog back with all my stuff on it#i would like to stick around#because i loved posting#and i get that you’re just having fun#but i’m making an example of you#less than a month vs five years#‘household name’ firefox official#spent five years building that thing#and now it’s just this.#i keep forgetting#and then i’m here again#not home#i know you all feel bad enough for me already#but it’s so hard to be myself because the environment on here is SO different#we were HAPPY#WE WERE SO HAPPY#Umm… Or whatever.#guess i could go back to firefox unofficial#but that feels far too close to the sun. and i’m done with the wings i think.#i dont mean to be so serious#a total mood killer i know#i just dont know how to proceed exactly#because when i post like normal i cant help but feel sad#and when i post about being sad its just sort of obnoxious#i’m not really asking for pity i just want to explain where i am at
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Nobody is as excited about the preview as I am. I have paragraphs.
#very bad doodle I just need to get this out there#don’t look at it too hard I’m begging#someone please talk to me about the blood rush breakup before the world explodes#it is not that serious but I will do anything for twenty seconds of them arguing#the episode hasn’t come out but I am shaking#every time they talk I become a little more evil and fucked up#genuinely though aside from the silliness of the conversation being about sports I have some very strong feelings about the little bits we-#-got to see in the preview#like I will inevitably talk about it but just because I know people are gonna beat me to it I just want to express how excited I am#fantasy high#d20#d20 fantasy high#dimension 20#gorgug thistlespring#fabian seacaster#thistlecaster#<- yeah fuck it why not#for my one mutual who likes them#this is for you and you only#fhjy spoilers#my art
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would love to see any drawings/ur design on jeremy fizgerald (if u have any)!! /nf
Been working on a design, can tell me what yall think!
#ask reply#I want to draw Jeremy so bad you guys don’t even know#I’ve been sorta iffy cause I feel like both in the games and maybe the movie of fnaf#we’re about to get a clear idea of what Jeremy actually looks like#so I’ve been semi hesitant to do any design cause it might change literally next week or month#but this is what I have down for him so far#nothing concrete but wanted him to carry the silly vibe most peeps give him#I feel like he needs to be more 80s BAHA#jeremy fitzgerald
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Instead of writing a fanfic like a normal person this oneshot turned into two separate, contextless things,
#sorry it’s how my brain works (sometimes can only see things in terms of tv scene-)#tumblr exclusive video fancy…#dcmk#my art#(quietly coughing and spluttering) OK alright I can feel the creative brain explosion slowing down. geez#coughs.#nyways. weird that there hasn’t really been a main case where poison is involved in a certain way#If I watch my own scribbled boards for too long im gonna get too embarrassed to post. Send post#Subarus hair is still infuriating by the way like take that off your normal hair is easier. The beanie is easier#you like Have to have the side corners on this haircut or it doesn’t look right#anyways. shiho ptsd moments I think she kind of gets irritated that shinichi doesn’t react the same so when he does she gets like#weirded out and vindicated and a little protective. Like woah wait. Love that you understand me rn don’t like that you feel bad I am going…#to…………. ssssssssssit here about it…………………………….. uhhhh. do you want. a rubix cube to get your mind off it#I don’t want to talk about my feelings I just want you to get it. you don’t wanna talk about your feelings either which is……………. Hmmmmmm#I like her. love of my life miyano shiho#masumi sera#conan edogawa#ai haibara#akai shuichi#let conan swear. HE SWEARS A LOT BUT LET HIM SWEAR IN ENGLISH I KNOW HE KNOWS THEM#man needs his emotional support akai family they like him#rigorous trials to being approved by the akai matriarch but everyone else likes him already and have already picked him up multiple times#and shuichi would let him swear
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Dream’s room within Nightmare’s castle
This comic takes place after Nightmare’s theoretical death that I discussed before >:)
A bit of context under readmore
#realizing how that tiny part of your brother really cared while you were conditioned to believe he hates you down to the core time#mixed with how Nightmare made such a room to feel less lonely as Dream is his only family#all while denying that vulnerability within him to even exist#i’m so bad at environmental art don’t mind the very badly made room#I really wanted to explore this regardless cause fuck art skill i can do whatever the fuck i want and nothing can stop me#anothers art#dreamtale#dream#dream sans#dream!sans#dreamtale dream
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I genuinely love not having a crush like I’m not over here feeling physically sick over some mid guy being dry to me I’m literally chilling
#Spring semester of last year was so bad bc I was unironically into 3 guys at once and they were all#Being dry and cryptic to me#And then before that in 2022 I had my horrid situationship#I had a mini obsession arc in dec 2023 over someone but now there hasn’t been anyone since#And my palette is so cleansed#When a girl is like I miss having a crush I’m like you’re literally a masochist#There was very briefly a girl I thought I had a crush on when I realized I’m bicurious but#I haven’t put effort into talking to her bc the idea of pursuing anyone makes me wanna claw my eyes out#I’m pretty sure I ghosted her by like just not responding to her last messsge actually#Not on purpose but more so bc I realized I was feeling the same anxiety I felt whenever I had a crush so I was like#Yeah I’m dropping this for now#I’m also always the most present for my friends when I don’t have a crush so idk#Like I don’t wanna be consumed by anyone I just wanna chill#The solution to not having normal attraction to people is just to not be attracted to anyone at all#I fr cracked it#I always just crave the butterflies out of it and never an actual relationship anyway#But they’re so not worth it#Which is why I always get bored of guys who’re forthright like oh ok you actually WANT something…. U don’t wanna just have fun#Not for me#I think the guys I’m into and I typically diverge in the sense that neither of us wants a relationship but they just wanna fuck me#And I more so just want the butterflies experience / to playact couple for like a couple months but nothing too serious#Which is why it never works#Like it’s not that it doesn’t work bc either of us wants a relationship it’s more that what we want out of the situationship is different#So lame#Ok this was a lot but I literally came to this epiphany while writing these tags
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#(see tags on last post)#happy pride month !!#this is still /j !!#but i wanted to make sure i didn't make anyone feel excluded...!!#i hope you understand !!#pride month#blue poison#bloopy#ah excluded is a bad way to put it more like….#acephobia is something i don’t want to contribute to#(i am also ace)
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This feels indescribably bad in a different way from 2016, less panic and just a dull sense of unbelief. For all my election anxiety, in my heart of hearts I really and truly did not think he could win again, and of course now I feel like a fucking idiot. I’m not really sure what we could have done to effectively counter this much of a rightward shift but I think we need to take a hard look at the state of the electorate instead of being in denial about how right-wing this country is.
#once is an aberration but twice? this is who we are as a nation apparently#not a whole lot you can say about that#also I don’t know if he would have won or not but this confirms my gut feeling switching out biden that close was a bad idea#I loved kamala and got caught up in the excitement because I wanted her to win so badly but this was a blowout
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Dabi’s side profile. That’s it. That’s the post.
#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha#mha#dabi#touya todoroki#bnha smut#mha smut#dabi smut#touya todoroki smut#— ❥ kelrambles;#tagging this as smut BECAUSE WHAT I’M ABOUT TO WRITE DOWN HERE IT’S NOT VERY FAMILY FRIENDLY—#DO YOU GUYS SEE WHAT I SEE??????? YEAH YOU ALL DO. I KNOW YOU DO.#he wants his face to be rode like a rodeo so bad guys#hands down the best side profile in the whole serie 🛐#and AH! 🐬🔊 HIS NECK!!!!! 👹#when he’s drawn on his side and THAT™️ smirk like—#B-A-N-G-M-E-D-A-B-I COME AND B-A-N-G-M-E-D-A-B-I 🗣️#also… i kinda get this HUGE urge to bite his nose whenever i see his side profile…#like— DON’T ASK ME ANYTHING. that’s just how i feel okay????
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Wait you guys are actually buying Disney products I thought it was a joke
(READ TAGS FOR FULL CONTEXT Sorry it’s long dies
#Honestly I’m only bothered bc I feel partially responsible (WTF EGOMANIAC OVER HERE)#I know I can’t control other people’s spending habits and my own habits are. Less than ideal !!#But when I wanted to spread my love for Wreck it Ralph I didn’t want people to get that takeaway 😔#IMPORTANT NOTE ‼️It’s okay to express your love for something through buying official things !!! That DOESN’T make you a “bad person” !!!#Still ! I think we have to let ourselves feel bothered by things and we need to be more critical of exploitative companies#Of course I chose to watch inside out 2 with my mom in theaters so I’m not immune lmao. Also using amazon / Etsy … just as a whole#But if you need help finding Disney movies without supporting them please just ask me!! PLEASE don’t use Disney+ if you can avoid it#I know we are all capable of finding our fulfillment from better places. But sometimes it’s hard#Capitalism sucks and yet that’s how we are endlessly pressured to live :(#We’re all at different points in our lives. Sometimes self care involves consumerism#Be hopeful that it someday won’t have to#Txt#again I’m sorry if this comes off as horribly egotistical to even consider being single-handedly responsible for#Social media is bad …. numbers bad…. Distorts reality and your perception of yourself…..#Or as me trying to guilt trip people in any way. Genuinely do what makes you happy but WE CAN BE HAPPIER & HEALTHIER I KNOW WE CAN#Wreck it ralph#Rant#Also sorry I have huge beef with streaming services I don’t mean to enforce that on other people but also. Sharing my opinion
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I hate this fucking manga how am I supposed to have a life and write essays about shit when I sit down start to think and all that comes to mind is some gay little toilet freaks istg it’s a hard knock life
#tbhk#toilet bound hanako kun#jshk#jibaku shounen hanako kun#akane aoi#yashiro nene#aoi akane#hanako#teru minamoto#kou minamoto#it’s them all btw#I love them#but pls I need the motivation to do my work#what I suppose to tell ppl sorry i didn’t do shit mitsukou were being gay so I didn’t sleep#chapter 118 destroyed me on like serval levels#I hate it but I love them but at what cost#do people even read the tags??#Akane aoi you haunt me waking and sleeping#the boy one if that wasn’t clear#I accidentally wrote 188 instead of 118 and all I could think is oh god I hope it doesn’t run that long#don’t get me wrong I love them but like I don’t want it to get bad and dragged out#plus I feel like it’s coming to its logical end#and I kinda don’t want it to run my whole life… like I have other future plans that don’t involve these guys continuing to haunt me
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[ cw: trauma / mind control / separation anxiety / autophobia / ]
Something that kills me is that there’s no way in hell that Raph’s debilitating separation anxiety isn’t infinitely worse after the movie. The trauma of being Krangified like that, all alone, would probably regress him so hard.
Not to mention his worries of getting “weird” would likely get mixed up with his experience while Krangified - aka, he loses full awareness, and when he’s brought “back” it’s to the understanding that he attacked his own family (of course not to his own fault at all, but how much of that does he believe?)
The fear of being alone would take on another layer and become a fear of himself.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt raph#rise raph#trauma /#mind control /#separation anxiety /#autophobia /#codependency mention in tags /#after the invasion he checks up on the others multiple times and guiltily hopes one of them asks to stay with him for the night#he’s the big brother so it feels - wrong. to ask them to stay with him.#but his plushies don’t have heartbeats. and neither did the krang#and guiltily - guiltily - Raph is relieved when someones doing bad enough to stay with him each night#he doesn’t know it but the others see he needs it so they offer#man idk I just want Raph to be safe and happy#me having Raph feels at 3 am#I raise you: codependent Raph and Leo post invasion#they both dealt with losing the other#going from fighting and high tensions pre invasion to being scared to leave each others’ side post invasion#god wait this concept is so sad wait#but it works#may address this in a later post/fic ngl
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I think a big misunderstanding is the power people give Curly to actually change things about the way the pony express operates or could’ve done things on the Tulpar.
We are talking about a company that docks pay for bad synergy despite mandated psych evals that should tell which staff members would work well together, only allots for 5 hours of sleep despite having literally no other tasks to truly do and locks all resources behind the access of one person. The last one is likely to manage resources and make it easier to justify collective punishment and blaming one person for it; someone needs something in “excess” or the captain gives in? It’s all on them your pay is docked. Instant resentment.
It’s insidious how the company works, it’s by design to distract you from coming after them, to force tensions to line their own pockets. With all the restrictions and forced interactions, altercations are bound to happen. 5 hours of sleep a day, limited sources of entertainment, no real tasks… the monotony alone would cause bad cabin fever, mix that with just only one absolute mediator and you get the exact environment that allows shit like in the game to happen.
The idea he could just complain and try to throw his weight around to get them to dig into their pocket for the crews comfort is laughable and misses the predatory and dehumanizing aspect of capitalism the Pony Express represents. Curly was and is still just another asset to them. Being a top show pony doesn’t mean he’s anywhere close to the actual top. He is the top of the working ladder, not whoever’s in corporate, he wouldn’t even be on the bottom step unlike what Jimmy perceives. The resounding recommendations he would get are almost mocking as they throw him out like nothing just like the rest. Being a shitty fucking company, how much do you bet they’d mean anything anyways, especially since he wanted to leave the field all together.
He made a fuss and they didn’t listen, he says he should’ve done more but you can tell he knows it wouldn’t have changed anything. Jobs like this are willing to make a sacrifice if it means even a penny more. Curly makes a bigger fuss they likely would’ve just found an “unrelated” reason to fire him, hired a more pliable guy or, terrifyingly, promoted Jimmy. The company was failing, going to shut down whether anything happened on the ship or not. But knowing that they were shutting down and that everyone, including him, would be out of a job with this being their last paycheck, he had to factor in not destroying the last bit of their financial stabilities combined with every other issue on the vessel and his own. He gets another cryopod or locks and then he has to break to them that they are not only fired but there will be substantial cuts to their paychecks due to the “upgrades” (things that already should’ve been in place on their part) on top of anything else that could be docked along the way.
You can blame him for saying it so early into the trip but then again, if he mentioned it later who’s to say it wouldn’t have been worse? On the capitalism side alone how would people in a galaxy away from home, out of a job and already stir crazy react? Don’t get me started on how Jimmy would have reacted if he realized he only had two days left to fix what would be a very hard to miss “problem” in his head…
I can’t even consider explaining this as devils advocate because it’s just facts of the world we and they live in and factors that heavily affected the situation. People are just so quick to make claims on the ease of the choices when P.E literally makes it hard to choose to do anything but suck it up.
#this is also like a sort of point that while I wanted Curly to do more for Anya I realized he would have to jeaporsiE the crews safety in#some way like if they needed the cryopods one person would be left without one and like it would be curly he’d offer but don’t think any of#them would be happy or feel okay with letting him die over a rapist? he kills Jimmy and now he has to stand trial and be arrested for murder#because it’s not self defense or manslaughter like they could obviously lie but he wouldn’t let them do that in case of a sort of black box#or guilt on their mind specifically with Daisuke who would likely be kept out of the loop not to mention it’s a dead body with a limited#likely recycled air supply so again he’s getting tried for murder and they are down a cryopod#not to mentions again the fact that you need a copilot like I know like aviation law and shit is crazy and like not common knowledge#but you bed a second set of eyes or someone to trade off with so you don’t loose ur concentration or doze and crash#like they don’t just sit their and do nothing like Jimmy probably did some of the time cause Curly likely didn’t want to make him#cause like pissed off and spiteful Jimmy manning the controls even if just helping is not something he wants to deal with and risk their#lives but i digress I genuinely think the biggest flaw of Curly’s in the situation is being a man who could not handle or understand the#emotional gravity of what Anya experienced especially at the hands of someone who he was also#emotonal/mentally mistreated by and wanted to so badly to believe was his friend and improving#like he did not offer her enough or the proper emotional/physical security he could’ve as a captain nor friend but in that it goes right#back to the systems at play that make it so he isn’t meant or supposed to understand so it can’t be perpetuated and blah blah blah how many#times do I have to explain systematic oppression to certain groups in this fandom and it isn’t cut n dry of good guys bad guys and victims#as outliers of the tow categories l#mouthwashing#captain curly#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#the pony express#The Tulpar
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Phoenix Tatooine day trip Goes Wrong™️ (X)
This is a little idea where Luke needs something (don’t ask me what) that he can only get on tatooine, so dinluke adventure ensues. The plan is to get there and leave ASAP, but then nostalgia hits and he needs to hit every shop and place he used to as a kid. But you know, “college kids comes back to hometown” syndrome hits and he realizes he’s changed too much. Think of how the holiday season doesn’t feel the same anymore now that you’re an adult, same feeling. AND YES ITS ALSO DUNLUKE BECAUSE I WANT THEM TO KISS AND TALK ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS AND ALSO KISS.
Heres some extras 🫡
#and also don’t ask me how I feel being back home for winter break!!#it’s irrelevant!#also tangent about Luke’s outfit:#I wanted it to look a little Jedi but also fit into Tatooine#in the fic in my mind he ditches the cape over time the more he embraces Tatooine again but you know#he’s been Changed By The Journey so he still looks like a Jedi#ANOTHER tangent: his HAIR#I have my usual color for his hair and I change it based on where in the timeline I’m drawing him#more blond around ANH more brown around and past RotJ#drawing him with ANH color pallet and his hair doesn’t match it as nicely… pain suffering I hate him why does he hurt me so bad#HE DOESNT FIT TATOOINE ANYMORE DO YOU UNDERSTAND#okay sorry bye#certified yapper over here YEESH‼️#art#fanart#digital art#fan art#my art#star wars#star wars fanart#dinluke#sw#sw au#star wars au#luke sykwalker#din djarin
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tbh i think volo would have been significantly more normal and fine if he hadn’t been hiding so much of his true feelings and personality. like when you deny yourself genuine human connection to that degree you’re probably going to come off as a machiavellian monster who wants to make the world and the lives of others worse, but looking at his actual stated motivations and intentions it’s clear to me at least that the guy is deeply empathetic and idealistic and more than anything disappointed that the world can’t be better
#volo#pla#i don’t even think the game wants you to think he’s That Bad#given the way laventon discusses him talking about the pokédex and peacefully/awkwardly leaving#the way his eyes go all weird makes me think they were going for almost a jekyll and hyde psychotic break thing#but people kinda projected another kind of villain trope onto him—the calculating immoral sociopath—and that’s the common interpretation#it’s like the opposite of when people look at villains who are meant to be completely terrible and find redeemable things about them#insisting that the writers wanted people to see those things as well#i might be doing that myself but just looking at the text and themes of the game it seems to me that you’re supposed to feel bad for him#rather than like violently hate him#even just with the way the player looks at him when he walks away#and that’s not even getting into shit that happens in pokemas#like sorry man volo unintentionally and incidentally prompting arceus to separate the train guys does not make him evil#that was arceus…#same with the player character although i think volo would have had more of a reason to tell them what’s going on#ingo was accepted in hisui#they weren’t#anyway sorry i just wanted to add my take to the many floating around#maybe im wrong or you disagree! that’s fine#but yeah
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