#I don’t want you to feel bad
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DUDEEEE, I WANNA BE FRIENDS WITH YOU SOOO BAD.......... BUT I FEEL LIKE ITS WEIRD TO ASK....
I’m not very comfortable with parasocial relationships/parasocial stuff sadly, we’re very much strangers and you don’t know me, and I certainly know very little to nothing about any of you. I’m glad you like my art! I’m always happy to see my art inspire other people and bring joy into other people’s lives, that’s amazing, but that…doesn’t mean we should be friends just because you like the select drawings and sketches that I’ve put on the internet. ESPECIALLY if you’re a minor, that’s a whole risky/dangerous ball park in itself !! I’m very uncomfortable with minors even DMing me, the relationship between fan and creator should be entirely professional at most.
There are a lot of influencers and brands out there that try to make their fans think they’re your friend, when really they’re not, and I really don’t want to be anything like that to you guys. It’s a kind of idolization and manipulation and a power dynamic that squicks me out in its entirety. There’s a lot of potential risk and danger in fan/creator relationships, and I do not want you guys to put me on a pedestal like that. Dont even consider me a “content creator,” or an idol. I love being an inspiration to people because I like the idea of bringing joy into others lives through my work, but that doesn’t mean I want you to put me on a pedestal and entrust me with your relationships and personal life. I’m not your friend, I’m not the best, I’m not even an expert at what I do, far from it. I’m just some random person who draws cats in their spare time, and you guys happen to like it, that’s all. I’m a real live person, with a name, a family, interests, flaws, mistakes, screw-ups, a personality you only see 10% of, friends, and most importantly I don’t know you. You don’t know me. No parasocial stuff please. Please stay safe out there and be careful of who and what you trust on the internet
#aphidasks#ask to tag#also no harm meant to anon#I’m not mad at you or anything just uncomfortable#I don��t want you to feel bad#we all gotta learn this lesson at some point#I learned it through reading horror stories on the internet growing up about how content creators contacted their fans in DMs and used that#idolization to manipulate them into NASTY stuff#it is absolutely not healthy for you to be my friend#super uncomfortable with that kind of power dynamic#do not#and be very wary about doing that with other creators too#keep yourself safe on the internet
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a bit of a personal ramble because fuck it, i’m posting whatever i want on here:
the past couple years have been some of the most difficult of my life. my mom being unexpectedly hospitalized twice, the worst creative burnout of my career, the grief of reading the news about palestine every day, deep rooted anxieties about not being good enough resurfacing at an all time high, and realizing i was unhappy around people i thought i’d love forever. without getting too dark, i’d never felt more hopeless.
but even through all of that, even with the state of the world right now and the impending doom of waking up each day, i think this might be the most fearless i’ve felt in a very long time.
i just want to be alive and create and build community and share a space where we all still feel hope for our world. and that’s what i’m going to do, through the fear, through all the shit of life, i’ll be here.
#tldr#i’m getting my personality back#i know i don’t owe anyone an explanation#but if you’ve been wondering why i’ve been so absent from youtube this is why#it’s been a very bad time#but i truly do feel so much better now#and i miss you all so much#and i’m so grateful to have our community#and i never want to take it for granted#i’m excited to try new things#share new projects with you!!#sorry i’m getting really sappy#but i love you all deeply#and it feels so good to feel alive again#a clockwork ramble#that’s gonna be my new tag
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Instead of writing a fanfic like a normal person this oneshot turned into two separate, contextless things,
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#sorry it’s how my brain works (sometimes can only see things in terms of tv scene-)#tumblr exclusive video fancy…#dcmk#my art#(quietly coughing and spluttering) OK alright I can feel the creative brain explosion slowing down. geez#coughs.#nyways. weird that there hasn’t really been a main case where poison is involved in a certain way#If I watch my own scribbled boards for too long im gonna get too embarrassed to post. Send post#Subarus hair is still infuriating by the way like take that off your normal hair is easier. The beanie is easier#you like Have to have the side corners on this haircut or it doesn’t look right#anyways. shiho ptsd moments I think she kind of gets irritated that shinichi doesn’t react the same so when he does she gets like#weirded out and vindicated and a little protective. Like woah wait. Love that you understand me rn don’t like that you feel bad I am going…#to…………. ssssssssssit here about it…………………………….. uhhhh. do you want. a rubix cube to get your mind off it#I don’t want to talk about my feelings I just want you to get it. you don’t wanna talk about your feelings either which is……………. Hmmmmmm#I like her. love of my life miyano shiho#masumi sera#conan edogawa#ai haibara#akai shuichi#let conan swear. HE SWEARS A LOT BUT LET HIM SWEAR IN ENGLISH I KNOW HE KNOWS THEM#man needs his emotional support akai family they like him#rigorous trials to being approved by the akai matriarch but everyone else likes him already and have already picked him up multiple times#and shuichi would let him swear
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Firefox-official vs electronicmail
Hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby
okay come up with a better idea then. firefox-official is gone asshole it’s electronicmail or nothing
#this one was hard to respond to because it elicited the usual anon rage in me#but i had to think about it anyway.#this blog has been around for less than a month and it is driving me fucking crazy#don’t you think i know?#dont you think it hurts enough already#i dont want this blog either i want my old blog back with all my stuff on it#i would like to stick around#because i loved posting#and i get that you’re just having fun#but i’m making an example of you#less than a month vs five years#‘household name’ firefox official#spent five years building that thing#and now it’s just this.#i keep forgetting#and then i’m here again#not home#i know you all feel bad enough for me already#but it’s so hard to be myself because the environment on here is SO different#we were HAPPY#WE WERE SO HAPPY#Umm… Or whatever.#guess i could go back to firefox unofficial#but that feels far too close to the sun. and i’m done with the wings i think.#i dont mean to be so serious#a total mood killer i know#i just dont know how to proceed exactly#because when i post like normal i cant help but feel sad#and when i post about being sad its just sort of obnoxious#i’m not really asking for pity i just want to explain where i am at
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Nobody is as excited about the preview as I am. I have paragraphs.
#very bad doodle I just need to get this out there#don’t look at it too hard I’m begging#someone please talk to me about the blood rush breakup before the world explodes#it is not that serious but I will do anything for twenty seconds of them arguing#the episode hasn’t come out but I am shaking#every time they talk I become a little more evil and fucked up#genuinely though aside from the silliness of the conversation being about sports I have some very strong feelings about the little bits we-#-got to see in the preview#like I will inevitably talk about it but just because I know people are gonna beat me to it I just want to express how excited I am#fantasy high#d20#d20 fantasy high#dimension 20#gorgug thistlespring#fabian seacaster#thistlecaster#<- yeah fuck it why not#for my one mutual who likes them#this is for you and you only#fhjy spoilers#my art
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would love to see any drawings/ur design on jeremy fizgerald (if u have any)!! /nf
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Been working on a design, can tell me what yall think!
#ask reply#I want to draw Jeremy so bad you guys don’t even know#I’ve been sorta iffy cause I feel like both in the games and maybe the movie of fnaf#we’re about to get a clear idea of what Jeremy actually looks like#so I’ve been semi hesitant to do any design cause it might change literally next week or month#but this is what I have down for him so far#nothing concrete but wanted him to carry the silly vibe most peeps give him#I feel like he needs to be more 80s BAHA#jeremy fitzgerald
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Dream’s room within Nightmare’s castle
This comic takes place after Nightmare’s theoretical death that I discussed before >:)
A bit of context under readmore
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#realizing how that tiny part of your brother really cared while you were conditioned to believe he hates you down to the core time#mixed with how Nightmare made such a room to feel less lonely as Dream is his only family#all while denying that vulnerability within him to even exist#i’m so bad at environmental art don’t mind the very badly made room#I really wanted to explore this regardless cause fuck art skill i can do whatever the fuck i want and nothing can stop me#anothers art#dreamtale#dream#dream sans#dream!sans#dreamtale dream
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I genuinely love not having a crush like I’m not over here feeling physically sick over some mid guy being dry to me I’m literally chilling
#Spring semester of last year was so bad bc I was unironically into 3 guys at once and they were all#Being dry and cryptic to me#And then before that in 2022 I had my horrid situationship#I had a mini obsession arc in dec 2023 over someone but now there hasn’t been anyone since#And my palette is so cleansed#When a girl is like I miss having a crush I’m like you’re literally a masochist#There was very briefly a girl I thought I had a crush on when I realized I’m bicurious but#I haven’t put effort into talking to her bc the idea of pursuing anyone makes me wanna claw my eyes out#I’m pretty sure I ghosted her by like just not responding to her last messsge actually#Not on purpose but more so bc I realized I was feeling the same anxiety I felt whenever I had a crush so I was like#Yeah I’m dropping this for now#I’m also always the most present for my friends when I don’t have a crush so idk#Like I don’t wanna be consumed by anyone I just wanna chill#The solution to not having normal attraction to people is just to not be attracted to anyone at all#I fr cracked it#I always just crave the butterflies out of it and never an actual relationship anyway#But they’re so not worth it#Which is why I always get bored of guys who’re forthright like oh ok you actually WANT something…. U don’t wanna just have fun#Not for me#I think the guys I’m into and I typically diverge in the sense that neither of us wants a relationship but they just wanna fuck me#And I more so just want the butterflies experience / to playact couple for like a couple months but nothing too serious#Which is why it never works#Like it’s not that it doesn’t work bc either of us wants a relationship it’s more that what we want out of the situationship is different#So lame#Ok this was a lot but I literally came to this epiphany while writing these tags
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#(see tags on last post)#happy pride month !!#this is still /j !!#but i wanted to make sure i didn't make anyone feel excluded...!!#i hope you understand !!#pride month#blue poison#bloopy#ah excluded is a bad way to put it more like….#acephobia is something i don’t want to contribute to#(i am also ace)
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This feels indescribably bad in a different way from 2016, less panic and just a dull sense of unbelief. For all my election anxiety, in my heart of hearts I really and truly did not think he could win again, and of course now I feel like a fucking idiot. I’m not really sure what we could have done to effectively counter this much of a rightward shift but I think we need to take a hard look at the state of the electorate instead of being in denial about how right-wing this country is.
#once is an aberration but twice? this is who we are as a nation apparently#not a whole lot you can say about that#also I don’t know if he would have won or not but this confirms my gut feeling switching out biden that close was a bad idea#I loved kamala and got caught up in the excitement because I wanted her to win so badly but this was a blowout
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Dabi’s side profile. That’s it. That’s the post.
#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha#mha#dabi#touya todoroki#bnha smut#mha smut#dabi smut#touya todoroki smut#— ❥ kelrambles;#tagging this as smut BECAUSE WHAT I’M ABOUT TO WRITE DOWN HERE IT’S NOT VERY FAMILY FRIENDLY—#DO YOU GUYS SEE WHAT I SEE??????? YEAH YOU ALL DO. I KNOW YOU DO.#he wants his face to be rode like a rodeo so bad guys#hands down the best side profile in the whole serie 🛐#and AH! 🐬🔊 HIS NECK!!!!! 👹#when he’s drawn on his side and THAT™️ smirk like—#B-A-N-G-M-E-D-A-B-I COME AND B-A-N-G-M-E-D-A-B-I 🗣️#also… i kinda get this HUGE urge to bite his nose whenever i see his side profile…#like— DON’T ASK ME ANYTHING. that’s just how i feel okay????
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Wait you guys are actually buying Disney products I thought it was a joke
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(READ TAGS FOR FULL CONTEXT Sorry it’s long dies
#Honestly I’m only bothered bc I feel partially responsible (WTF EGOMANIAC OVER HERE)#I know I can’t control other people’s spending habits and my own habits are. Less than ideal !!#But when I wanted to spread my love for Wreck it Ralph I didn’t want people to get that takeaway 😔#IMPORTANT NOTE ‼️It’s okay to express your love for something through buying official things !!! That DOESN’T make you a “bad person” !!!#Still ! I think we have to let ourselves feel bothered by things and we need to be more critical of exploitative companies#Of course I chose to watch inside out 2 with my mom in theaters so I’m not immune lmao. Also using amazon / Etsy … just as a whole#But if you need help finding Disney movies without supporting them please just ask me!! PLEASE don’t use Disney+ if you can avoid it#I know we are all capable of finding our fulfillment from better places. But sometimes it’s hard#Capitalism sucks and yet that’s how we are endlessly pressured to live :(#We’re all at different points in our lives. Sometimes self care involves consumerism#Be hopeful that it someday won’t have to#Txt#again I’m sorry if this comes off as horribly egotistical to even consider being single-handedly responsible for#Social media is bad …. numbers bad…. Distorts reality and your perception of yourself…..#Or as me trying to guilt trip people in any way. Genuinely do what makes you happy but WE CAN BE HAPPIER & HEALTHIER I KNOW WE CAN#Wreck it ralph#Rant#Also sorry I have huge beef with streaming services I don’t mean to enforce that on other people but also. Sharing my opinion
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I hate this fucking manga how am I supposed to have a life and write essays about shit when I sit down start to think and all that comes to mind is some gay little toilet freaks istg it’s a hard knock life
#tbhk#toilet bound hanako kun#jshk#jibaku shounen hanako kun#akane aoi#yashiro nene#aoi akane#hanako#teru minamoto#kou minamoto#it’s them all btw#I love them#but pls I need the motivation to do my work#what I suppose to tell ppl sorry i didn’t do shit mitsukou were being gay so I didn’t sleep#chapter 118 destroyed me on like serval levels#I hate it but I love them but at what cost#do people even read the tags??#Akane aoi you haunt me waking and sleeping#the boy one if that wasn’t clear#I accidentally wrote 188 instead of 118 and all I could think is oh god I hope it doesn’t run that long#don’t get me wrong I love them but like I don’t want it to get bad and dragged out#plus I feel like it’s coming to its logical end#and I kinda don’t want it to run my whole life… like I have other future plans that don’t involve these guys continuing to haunt me
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[ cw: trauma / mind control / separation anxiety / autophobia / ]
Something that kills me is that there’s no way in hell that Raph’s debilitating separation anxiety isn’t infinitely worse after the movie. The trauma of being Krangified like that, all alone, would probably regress him so hard.
Not to mention his worries of getting “weird” would likely get mixed up with his experience while Krangified - aka, he loses full awareness, and when he’s brought “back” it’s to the understanding that he attacked his own family (of course not to his own fault at all, but how much of that does he believe?)
The fear of being alone would take on another layer and become a fear of himself.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt raph#rise raph#trauma /#mind control /#separation anxiety /#autophobia /#codependency mention in tags /#after the invasion he checks up on the others multiple times and guiltily hopes one of them asks to stay with him for the night#he’s the big brother so it feels - wrong. to ask them to stay with him.#but his plushies don’t have heartbeats. and neither did the krang#and guiltily - guiltily - Raph is relieved when someones doing bad enough to stay with him each night#he doesn’t know it but the others see he needs it so they offer#man idk I just want Raph to be safe and happy#me having Raph feels at 3 am#I raise you: codependent Raph and Leo post invasion#they both dealt with losing the other#going from fighting and high tensions pre invasion to being scared to leave each others’ side post invasion#god wait this concept is so sad wait#but it works#may address this in a later post/fic ngl
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❤︎ MOEVIE : 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓱𝓾𝓷𝓽 ࿐ . + in game voicelines! because i’ve been inspired to add lines after seeing layla’s from a while ago, as well as coco’s, vana’s, and nick’s for ppgear of course ( ⸝⸝ ◡̀ ᴗ ◡́)੭ ✧
Moze: About Evie
Evie was the one to carry me on her back when I had gotten hurt. Had I known she was coming, I would have done everything I could to avoid worrying her. As of now … I often pay her visits in my free time. It seems to make her face “light up.” That’s what Jiaoqiu said, and I agree.
Added to a team with: Evie
Don’t worry about me and focus on keeping your distance. I’ll handle the rest of it.
Evie: About Moze
You’d think someone like Moze would be easy to spot because of the purple, but I actually haven’t caught him a single time — yet. I find that I have a better chance if I abruptly jerk my head to stare down a random shadow. You can really catch him off guard, even if just for a second!
Added to a team with: Moze
Oh, here you are! I’ll support you from over here! Don’t be hasty.
comm from puri24a on twt!
#彡 moevie!#I AM SO SORRY FOR THE SURGE OF POSTING#I FEEL SO BAD FLOODING YIUR DASH PLEASE FEEL FREE TO IGNORE OR BLOCK MY TAGS OF COURSE :’) in the meantime#scooting in my chair heh .. please allow me to throw this in here while i’m posting anyways … because because because#this artist is so sweet !!!! T T the sweetest ever — my heart did a flutter speaking with them !!!!#also moevie lines are implied romance at best because in my head — we still have never confessed heh#<- convincing myself this because i don’t want to imagine romance lest i explode from heat wave /lh!!!#anyways — gets down on one knee … please forgive me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#LET ME PAUSE ON POSTING FOR A BIT I AM GENUINELY SO SORRY#ahahahaah … so you thought !!! let me go post on my side blog instead since i have some stuff i’d like to read heh !! ^^#a little less about me and more about UOU ( -_•)╦̵̵̿╤─ heh
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Ngl I kinda feel bad for tr!bbh at this point. Despite being an immortal demon who’s only around for the entertainment, he is still capable of forming attachments even if they’re shallow. He seems to consider tr!pili and tr!pili his friends, but whenever they talk about him to other people he is never their friend. The two of them go around claiming that the other person is the only one they can rely on meanwhile they’re both relying on Bad constantly like bro he’s trying to help you why is he catching strays
It’s like. He’s let himself be a bit less Normal and Mortal around them and they seem to have decided that it means they no longer have to consider how he might feel. Just today tr!Pili was like “oh yeah I love Pangi but I don’t care that much about Bad, I wouldn’t be sad if he died” LIKE. HE DOESN’T THINK THAT WAY ABOUT YOU????? HE SHOWED UP TODAY LIKE “THEY ATTACKED OUR BOY” HE CLEARLY STILL CARES?????? WHY ARE WE TREATING HIM LIKE DIRT????????
#and yesterday when he was like ‘you don’t care about me all your friends die anyway’ right to Bad’s face#LIKE??? HES IMMORTAL BUT HE STILL HAS FEELINGS GODDAMN#I know it may be because pili is usually talking to his enemies and thus will want to downplay any attachment#but holy fuck bro Bad’s going around like ‘yippee hanging out with my friends pili and pangi’#and they’re going around like ‘once we drain him of all his resources we’re gonna push him off a cliff’#mostly pili honestly but STILL#is bad selfish? yes. is he immune to the power of having emotions about others? no?????#the realm smp#trsmp
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