#I don’t need migraine advice

[thebibliosphere]

So in not great news, I’ve developed a trauma response to my migraines.

I just had a faint niggle of pain on the right side of my head—likely caused by my neck muscles being jacked up from yesterday’s migraine and the hours upon hours of throwing up—and while my original response to potentially getting a migraine was weary resignation, I just had what can only be accurately described as a panic attack.

Like full on, couldn’t breathe past my terror, vision tunneling in a way I haven’t experienced since [redacted trauma], ‘it feels like I’m having a heart attack’ panic.

Which is not… not great to begin with but it’s really not good when you have a mast cell disorder where stress can be an anaphylactic trigger, which it is for me, which is why I’ve spent the last for years trying to regulate my nervous system and get a handle on my complex trauma.

Only now, due to the severe amounts of pain I’m in every ten days or fewer, I’m experiencing total emotional dysregulation from the mere thought of having another migraine.

And now I have a headache from the panic attack because it triggered my POTS and now my blood pressure is fucked 🫠

I legitimately cannot do this anymore. This is going to kill me.

[jeezypetes]

Everyone stop taking your tricyclics you don’t needthem any more

[teashellscape]

Harvey x reader (Minors dni)

Paring: sdv Harvey x reader

Synopsis: Harvey’s had a rough day at work and has been stuck doing gruelling paperwork all day. You wanna help him relieve some stress. Some plot, mainly just smut!

Warnings: 18+ smut (minors dni), reader described as having a vagina, oral sex (reader and Harvey receiving), vaginal sex, surprise squirting.

Word count: 1,592k

Rays of light spill through the white blinds of Harvey’s small office; he’s sat behind his desk, head basically buried in his laptop with piles of paperwork surrounding him, his hair is messy and disheveled and he has a frustrated look on his face. Butterflies flutter in your stomach as you glance at him. “Hey, you been doing paperwork all day?” You chirp. He looks up from his screen with a huff and smiles slightly seeing your small figure standing in the doorway.

“I didn’t hear you come in.” He rolls back slightly from his desk, his tie is pulled down slightly and some of his buttons undone. You blush at the sight of him like that, it’s rare that work frustrates or bores your boyfriend so you know you’re in for a ride later on.

“Why don’t you come and take a break, sit with me.” You say clicking the door shut and sitting on the small loveseat next to you, patting for him to sit.

“I’m sorry honey but I can’t. I still have so much paperwork to do it’s looking like I’m going to be here all night.” He gives you a sad look, eyes flicking between you and the piles of paperwork laid out on his desk. “No, it won’t hurt you or your work, come on, you’ve probably been sat there all day staring at that screen. You need a break, you’re gonna strain your eyes and get a migraine.” Harvey looks over at you with an all knowing smile.

He chuckles, “never thought you’d be giving me of all people medical advice.” Smiling he stands up, walks over and flops down on the sofa next to you. He closes his eyes with a smile on his face, you turn to him sitting curled up and began playing with his hair. “Mm that’s nice.” He mumbles smiling.

“Do you know what could be nicer?” You say through a smile, blushing slightly. He opens his eyes and looks to the side at you as if to say ‘what?’. You crawl over to him straddling his lap and wrapping your arms around his neck bringing your face so close to him you’re almost nose to nose. With no words said Harvey’s lips crash into yours, his hands sit on your hips every now and then snaking down to give your arse a tight squeeze. Your hand begin playing with the curly strands of hair at the nape of his neck. He grasps your chin between his thumb and forefinger and moves your head to the side kissing down your cheek and travelling to your neck, sucking lightly and nipping in spots, not leaving a mark behind unfortunately. You mewl and moan softly, breathing heavy as you begin to unknot his tie and slowly start unbuttoning his shirt. He moves back up to kiss your lips lightly biting at the bottom one, you let out another moan.

Slowly you begin to move down his body kissing down his chest towards his bellybutton. You begin to unbuckle his belt excruciatingly slow, palming his growing erection and continuing to leave small pecks along his abdomen. Harvey begins to get slightly frustrated with how long you’re taking and starts grabbing at your hair trying to encourage you to speed up. You smirk at his eagerness, pull off his belt and unzip his trousers. He moves you away so that he can pull both his trousers and boxers down letting his erection spring free and slap against his stomach. A wide smile grows on your face as you grasp it in your hand and spit on the tip, you begin pumping it and look up into Harvey’s eyes, his face flushing and quiets mewls escaping his parted lips, he looks absolutely gorgeous. Once you’d had enough pumping it you slip his pink tip between your lips and lick along his shaft watching his head fall back in bliss; his mewls quickly becoming moans. You bob your head back and forth pumping whatever you couldn’t fit in, Harvey’s hand bunched in your hair lightly guiding you along.

Eventually Harvey had had enough and pulled you off of him dragging you to your feet, he roughly pulled your shirt over your head and quickly discarded your bra. He puts his hands under your arse and you jump up wrapping your legs around his waist, you both start another steamy make out session, this time his lips travel down and he begins to make sure he’s leaving marks along your collarbone. Harvey walks over to his desk and begins to clear it, literally just pushing all the paperwork onto the floor, he shuts his laptop lid and chucks it onto the sofa behind you both. He sits you down on his desk pulling away from the kiss, you both heaving with a string of saliva still connecting you and puffy swollen lips. “Lay back.” He commands, all you can do is nod blushing furiously.

Harvey begins leaving kisses and nibbles along your soft stomach making his way to your trousers and unbuttoning them, pulling them down and discarding them. His eyes laid heavy on your soaked panties, he puts his long fingers to them slowly moving up and down. You let out a long whine as he moves to your face kissing you roughly on the lips, “so wet for me, you’ve been waiting all day for this haven’t you?” He smirks and you nod humming in response. His free hand again moves down to grasp your arse, him being this dominant is shocking to you but it just turns you on so much more. He begins once again trailing kisses down your stomach while pulling your sopping panties down your legs. He starts toying with your clit before very easily slipping a finger in making you let out a fairly loud moan. His lips travel down to your little bundle of nerves and he begins sucking while pumping and curling his fingers inside of you, you can’t help but whine and crumble under his touch.

When you first started dating you never expected him to be this good in bed but him being a doctor he probably had a slut phase in college and fuck had it paid off in your favour. Harvey begins switching between sucking and swirling his tongue around your clit making you feel practically numb with pleasure, you could already feel your release building. “Mmm look at you getting tighter already, you gonna cum for me already honey?” He practically whispers, his warm breath enveloping you making you shiver. “Come on, come for me lovely.” He kisses and toys more with your clit, curling his fingers inside of you more aggressively making you writhe. That all too familiar knot beginning to form in your stomach, the next thing you know you’re at your release, your legs shaking violently; you moan loudly, practically seeing stars under his touch, feeling yourself let go completely.

Harvey begins chuckling slightly, still pumping his fingers in and out softly. “Now I didn’t know you could do that.” The next thing you realise is you’ve squirted all over him, feeling embarrassed you cover your face with your hands and you feel his fingers exit you leaving you feel cold and empty making you whine. He gently pulls your hands away from your face and kisses you. You can taste yourself on his lips and smell yourself on his mustache. “Let’s see if we can get you to do that again huh?” He says moving back and putting your legs over his shoulder carefully lining his dick up with you. He reaches over to his draws and pulls a condom out, quickly unwrapping it and slipping it onto his length. He rubs himself on you using your slick as lube and then quickly slips himself inside, you both moan out in bliss. “Soft or rough?” He asks leaving you slightly confused.

“Surprise me.” You say smiling. He smiles and begins pumping in and out you both moaning in bliss. He changes paces on and off between fast and hard and soft and intimate and it practically makes the room spin for you. “Oh fuck Harvey, keep going.” You moan to him. Your legs being over his shoulders means he’s hitting your sweet spot over and over and over again sending you wild. You’re both absolute moaning sweaty messes and Harvey moves his hands from your legs to toy with your breasts, playing with your nipples, straight away almost sending you over the edge again.

Harvey’s thrusts begin to get sloppy. “Keep going, faster.” You slur out and without even a second thought the man begins absolutely railing you and starts toying with your clit again. That knot begins to once again form in your stomach and it doesn’t last long until you let go, coming on his cock and once again squirting all over him. Harvey keeps thrusting and finally cums, you feel the warmth filling the condom. He pulls out, ties and disposes of the condom and picks you up bringing you back over to the sofa laying you down gently and moving his laptop to the floor. He grabs his bottle of water and a cloth and cleans you both up, he lays behind you and snuggles closely your naked bodies entwining one another.

“I love you (y/n).” He says,

“I love you too.”

————————————————————————

I’m taking requests for fics so if you wanna leave any this is the post to go to!

[certifiedsexed]

hi there! this isn’t about sex itself, but since periods are usually a part of sex ed and i’ve literally just been woken up because the cramps were bad enough, i thought i would ask — is it normal to be in a lot of pain when you’re on your period?

context: i still live with my abusive parents, who don’t let me take any kind of pain medication after a suicide attempt at thirteen, so i know that this problem might just be that i need to take a strong painkiller. also the pain doesn’t ever last more than three days? like the first three days (and sometimes the days leading up to it) of my period are always hell but then it’s fine, i have no pain afterwards.

but the problem is that the pain is… bad. like being woken up in the middle of the night because my sides hurt and my legs hurt isn’t uncommon, and there’s this weird thing where i’m scared to use the toilet during these first three days because it makes my butt and my sides hurt so much that i genuinely can’t move and have to bite myself to stop myself from screaming. sometimes i’ll be in so much pain, usually in my sides but also sometimes in my stomach or legs or my butt, that i can’t even move, so i just kind of… have to lie pressed into my bed and hold my breath.

my mother has always just told me that she had worse pain when she still used to get her period, and that i’d be completely fine if i just listened to her and used a hot water bottle (i have poor circulation, so hot/cold stuff just doesn’t really feel great for me usually), and i’ve always just kind of accepted that. i know it’s common for people who get periods to talk about how painful things like cramps are, but i genuinely usually feel so miserable for the first couple days of my period that if i don’t need to get out my bed, i literally won’t at all.

i’m just wondering… is everyone who gets periods in as much pain as i usually am, at least for the first couple days? or, since i know that people experience periods differently, are people in more/less pain than i am but it’s fine since this isn’t that bad and i should just take medication each month for it? idk, but ever since i started to get periods they’ve genuinely always made me feel so so bleak and in agony, and i’m someone i’d consider who has a maybe above ‘average’ pain tolerance (i have chronic back pain, migraines, and health issues that make it easy for me to sprain/fracture my ankles which i’ve unironically managed to do about eight times in the past two years — again, unfortunately all of this with mostly no painkillers unless i can get them from the school first aid box), so i just… don’t know anymore, but i thought it couldn’t hurt to ask.

anyways, unrelated but i really do love this blog — the reblogs are always good things to read as someone who’s still unpacking being raised by very puritanical parents, and the asks always offer good advice too, very empathetically in a way that sometimes catches me off guard (there was one post on here that was something about how the asker’s father would belittle them and i think your reply said something like ‘it’s not your fault and nothing’s wrong with that aspect of you’… which i know sounds obvious but that was something that i don’t think had ever been obvious to me ever since my father started doing the same when i was younger. it was really comforting to hear, is what i mean, and your replies often are. so thank you for that! and for the time + energy i can imagine it takes to run this, you post/rb so often!)

Hi! This is absolutely a sex ed question, you're right!

So, first, let me make one thing clear: no! You are not supposed to be in this level of pain on your period. Some pain is understandable but once it gets to the point it's bad/debilitating in Any fashion, something is going wrong.

But I also want to say, being in an abusive living situation can fuck up your periods. And so can being restricted from pain relief, which-just in case you're not aware-is another type of abuse.

But what you're talking about sounds like more than just a lack of basic pain relief. That's very disabling, even if it doesn't last long. It may be that intense reactions to periods run in your family [especially since your mother mentioned experiencing something similar] but that's still something you should be getting something like specialized pain meds for or even stopping your periods altogether.

What you're talking about, especially on top of an abusive living situation, is very unhealthy for you to have to deal with.

Not everyone is in that much pain. Some people are but that's a medical condition. It's a disability! What you're talking about is a disability. It can be caused by PMS or endometriosis or PMDD or it could even be connected to whatever causes your other chronic pain but it's still very much something your parents should be getting you checked out for.

Even if your mother had the exact same pain on her period, that doesn't mean you should have to suffer through it, especially not with her revoking your access to basic pain relief. That's all completely unacceptable and I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.

I'm not sure how helpful this is but I hope it's at least good to know the pain levels you're dealing with are unacceptable and Not "normal" period pain.

Also I'm so glad you're learning and enjoying the blog, especially the advice. I also grew up in an abusive household so to hear it's helping someone else in a similar situation means the world to me, fr. 💕 Sending love, Anon. <3

[emergency-plan]

DPxDC Idea

I had a little idea an have no time to actually write a fic, so I just wrote a sorta-summary and am posting it like this.

This is inspired by the game Home Safety Hotline and may contain hints to spoilers for that game. It's really clever, I really like it. I recommend you play it if slightly spooky without any "real" horror appeals to you.

Alright, Danny's been Ghost King for a few years and has realized more than just his usual rogues make their way to the living world, and a lot of those ghosts don't stay in Amity. By himself, it'd take forever to track down all those spirits and specters that are out causing mischief. Luckily, not many that escaped his notice are all that powerful and could only cause minor disturbances, just enough to get noticed by the living.

Many people outside Amity don't even recognize the activity as ghosts, so they blame other sources. Scratching in the walls is mistaken as mice, whispers and apparitions are mistaken as hallucinations and carbon monoxide hallucinations, attempted overshadowings mistaken as stokes or migraines. In this day and age, where does everyone turn to when looking for advice or how to solve problems? The internet.

Team Phantom devise a method to try and track down ghosts that are stuck or tormenting the living by building a website meant to look like a help hotline, and with some algorithm trickery make it one of the top options when searching for signs similar to ghost presences. Add some bits and bobs to make it appear as a more normal-looking website on any computer affiliated with government organizations, and you’ve got some protection from the GIW.

Calls start slowly, so the three of them can handle it by themselves. Once more people are calling, they decide to start a call center. They hired some trusted people around Amity and even a few ghosts who want to help. To get around worrying about the ghosts messing with the tech while personally taking a call, they decide to automate the system to record caller’s reports for the employees to listen to, and then send a report back, offering their services to bring the spirit back to the Realms.

It’s been surprisingly lucrative, and Danny hasn’t had to dip into his kingly funds much other than at the start. He still keeps prices low, just enough to not garner suspicions at offering a free service while paying his workers fairly (he doesn’t want to know why some of the ghosts want mortal money). What he’s started having more trouble with is not enough employees to take the calls. Sometimes ghosts lose track of time and don’t show up for their shifts (he doesn’t blame them, time gets weird in the Ghost Zone), and he’s run out of people he trusts who want the job.

Eventually he decides to put out an ad, deciding he’ll slowly trust whoever takes the job with a little more information over time, see how they react, and measure to see if they’re trustworthy.

What he doesn’t think about is how posting it on the website will let more people than just those that live in Amity apply.

Meanwhile, in Gotham, one Cassandra Cain is looking for a job. She doesn’t need the money, B gives her access to way too much, but she wants the experience. She’s at the age she’s heard most kids get a job, and she wants to see what it’s like.

And she quickly found out retail and fast food are NOT for her. She doesn’t think those conditions are fit for anyone, honestly. She’d have to see if she could get Bruce to work on that. But that still leaves her out of a job. She got overwhelmed with a lot of people, so virtual options would probably be best, and something that let her interact with people without having to speak. There weren’t a lot of options out there, and she wasn’t skilled enough with a computer yet to take programming ones.

That’s when she found the listing for the hotline call center. Based in a small Illinois town, but had virtual options, listen to recorded customer calls, diagnose their issue, and send an information packet on potential next steps. It was indirect, could also help her practice her reading, and flexible. It was perfect.

It didn’t take long to hear back after she applied (Danny was freaking out, he didn’t think anyone outside Amity would apply. He’d turn this kid down, but she’d mentioned her difficulties with speaking in her application and SWEETY YOU DONT MENTION STUFF LIKE THAT ON AN APPLICATION. But she said the job would be perfect for her and he just couldn’t…) and she got the job!

Her first day rolls around and she’s given access to the database. A lot has been redacted, but she has descriptions for common problems like mice, carbon monoxide, black mold, etc. she gets her first call recording and carefully reads through the entries before selecting the one that sounds right. She sends it off and waits for the next. The calls come a little too regularly, with too similar intervals between them, so she figures her new employer is testing how well she’s doing (Danny’s giving her previous resolved calls that weren’t anything supernatural. She even got the ants right! He had even gotten that wrong!)

Eventually, her shift ends and she tells her family how well her first day went at dinner. They congratulate her and go on patrol as usual. The next day, things ramp up a little.

She logs into the database at the beginning of her shift and noticed some new entries. She now had access to descriptions of shades, blob ghosts, will o’ wisps, and more minor spirits. She gets a recording reminding her all this info is confidential and that she’s not allowed to share it with anyone. She’s a little confused, but she reads through each just as carefully. The calls come less regularly, so she figures she’s actually connected to the system now (Danny gave her access to the most common ghosts they get calls about and is listening in while he’s handling ghosts to make sure she doesn’t get anything she’s not prepared for).

Her shift ends and over dinner, she mentions that she’s had to diagnose some odd things. They assure her there’s more pests and hazards out there than you’d expect. She doesn’t tell her family about the distraught woman haunted by the Ecto-Echo of her husband’s habit of making her coffee every morning after he passed a few weeks ago. Or the person who had a Shade masquerading as their shadow. Just about one of her caller's cockroach problem.

The next day follows a similar pattern; more entries, slightly more powerful ghosts, reminder that the info she's been given access to is confidential and could get people hurt if it got in the wrong hands, congratulated for her good work, read through carefully and learn signs of each, diagnose calls, before calling it a day (Danny was so proud of her, she'd only confused a blob ghost with a ghost animal once, and it hadn't caused him any trouble when he went to collect them).

She'd used the bat-computer to check up on some of the callers she'd diagnosed, and they seemed to be doing fine. Some had posted about their weird experiences on their social media and how her employer had somehow helped them, but often didn't quite know how (Danny liked to hide his powers, so most of what customers saw was him using ghost tech. When it couldn't be solved with just a quick souping, he had to pull a little ghostly trickery while the customer wasn't watching). She didn't know how her boss was somehow across the world multiple times a day to help clients in different countries, but he seemed to at least be helping people. She started not having any stories she could tell her family at dinner.

At some point, she heard reports that one of the speedsters probably messed with time travel again before clocking into her shift. She had almost all the available entries and had gotten very good at recognizing tricky cases. She answered a recorded call, just like at the beginning of each of her shifts, but this one was a little different. Danny had sent out an announcement to be on the lookout for a specific phenomena that often occurred after shifts in reality, as they were highly dangerous and needed to be dealt with swiftly.

She studied each entry and paused on what she was supposed to keep a careful eye out for. Revenants, corpses that came back to life, often seen shambling around the graveyards they were buried in. Something about that sounded familiar. A section in their entry said the person brought back often had a ghost in the Realms (which she still didn't know what that was) that was in terrible pain from shifts in reality trying to pull them back to their body, but the separation of dimensions preventing them.

Expectedly, she did get a call from someone convinced there was a zombie wandering somewhere along the east coast. She double checked it couldn't be anything else before submitting it and notifying her boss.

Curious, and she knew no one would be in the batcave around this time of day, she brought her laptop with her down to the bat-computer. She found cameras in the area the caller reported, and froze at what she saw. Shambling across an abandoned street was a rotting corpse. It really did look like a zombie. It was covered in dirt, wearing an old-fashioned suit, and had skin sloughing off its bones.

But what Cass could only focus on was how much its movements read that it was in pain. It was suffering in such a horrible way its mindless being didn't even deserve. It was horrible.

Then, there was a flash of green and an area of the cameras were covered in static. The glitched portion somehow read with kindness and pity. It slowly approached the corpse, simple reaching out gently (what was presumably a hand), ignoring the way it lashed out. It suddenly fell, caught and slowly lower to the ground by the strange being she couldn't see. It closed the thing's eyes before carrying it off in the direction the map said a graveyard could be found.

After that, she finished her shift and went to dinner. Her family asked if she was alright, and she only replied it'd been a long day.

She clocked in early the next day and messaged her boss for more information on Revenants. Dinner that night was one of the few times Jason agreed to come by, and if he noticed how she kept glancing at him, he didn't say anything.

A week later, she asked her boss what might happen if a Revenant was exposed to, as it was called in its entry, a "Corrupted Ecto-Spring" ("...an ugly hole in the fabric of reality that connects the world of the living to the Realms. The ectoplasm that leaks through the tear stagnates and festers into toxic pools that kills humans and makes ghosts sick."). Danny requested a video call.

[foldingfittedsheets]

Hi Bed Guru! I'm curious about your thoughts and any advice you can give about adjustable beds. Is it basically just the base/frame? Do they need special or specific mattresses? Are they worth it, especially for someone with arthritis (knees, back, shoulders, etc)?

Yeah so instead of having a box spring and a frame, an adjustable base goes right under the mattress and replaces both. You can have a wooden frame around one for aesthetics, but the base holds the bed up and moves it around without the need for anything else.

Adjustable bases. Are. The. Tits. They are so good. There is a million problems they can help with aside from just being comfy as hell. Arthritis and general pressure is one of them.

Ideally if you can convert to back sleeping they can help you the best but you can still get benefits as a side sleeper.

Raising your head even 6” helps with tons of stuff from snoring, sleep apnea, acid reflux, it can help ease sleep apnea but obviously one shouldn’t ditch their machine. It can reduce migraine symptoms in long term studies and is just all around comfy.

Now some folks have tried to use multiple pillows or wedge pillows. The problem with multiple pillows is that every time you need to wake up and adjust them you’re losing sleep, and the wedges are high so they don’t work for most people. The base can sit up in bed to read, watch tv, whatever, then go back down to sleeping height.

Having the legs up makes your lower back way happier, it helps blood to circulate better. There’s a reason people love sleeping in recliners an the base turns your bed into an even better recliner. I can’t say enough good things. Head and feet up create something that got dubbed “zero gravity” which is your body without pressure points. Very useful for achey joints, and the reason adjustable bases got their start in hospitals.

Those features are enough. Head up and down are where all the good stuff is. I personally love my base which has memory settings so I can hit one button to go from sleeping position to recliner position. Mine also has massage which helps me fall asleep way faster. Those features are extra and not strictly necessary but I think they’re great.

There’s even fancier ones with speakers and USB ports and all sorts of stuff so you can go as tricked out as you want but all the basic health benefits are at the bottom end when head and feet elevate. Everything else is just convenience.

As for which beds- almost all modern beds are compatible with adjustable bases. The only kind that’s incompatible are the veryyyy old interconnected coil beds. They’re not very common nowadays because power bases are so ubiquitous that beds need to flex with them.

[faeyramaeyra]

Hey! I dont know if you have already, but do you have a guide on what you NEED to know as a beginner?

🌷 Beginner Advice/Guide 🌷

As a beginner, You should be learning “The Golden Five” (as I like to call them) before anything else. They include: Grounding, Cleansing, Warding, Protection and Banishing. You can find information for these literally anywhere but I’m more than happy to cover them!

I will also cover some extra things too that are just handy to know/keep in mind!

Grounding

Grounding is something good to know in general, Not just for spirituality/paganism. The principle behind it is that you want to use techniques that calm/relax you (send you into your comfort/happy place) so you can focus on the here and now. I hope this makes sense. Meditation is a form of grounding!

Cleansing

Cleansing is the act of getting rid of any unwanted or negative energies etc. Different methods are used for this but the most common are smoke cleansing (using incense or even candle smoke for example), sound cleansing (using the sound of bells for example) and water (example: some people use moon water or create little bags of herbs they use in the shower/bath to cleanse themselves). There are plenty of other methods too but those are the ones I see used most often! Just use whatever works for you. A good incense to use if you like smoke cleansing but are prone to headaches (coming from someone who has chronic migraines) is frankincense and myrrh. A lot of people recommend dragons blood but for me it’s too strong.

Warding

The simple explanation for this one is that wards repel or trap any negative energies/entities/etc that attempt to attach to you or enter your space. People also use wards as defensive barriers against baneful workings. I have a guide on making a plant ward on my page that you could give a quick read but there are other methods too. I have enchanted witches bells that hang on my doorway for example. A common ward I see is salt along doorways, windowsills or any other point of entry into your space. Depending on the energy and intent you place into wards, Some may need to be renewed often and others may be okay for months.

Protection

This is the act of protecting yourself from unwanted/negative energies, backfired spell work, entities you may encounter etc. I have a more in depth guide on my page about why protection is important. Some common protection methods include: crystals and crystal jewellery, witches bottles, candles (use black ones for protection or you can substitute them with white candles as long as you set the intention of protection into them), drawing a pentagram on the roof of your mouth with your tongue and many more. Just use whatever works for you and your practice!

Banishing

Banishing is the act of getting rid of something, Not just repelling it. Most commonly it’s used to get rid of entities that try to attach themselves to you or enter your space but it can also be used to get rid of baneful workings, unwanted spell work results etc. This works for me (for entities) but may not for others: Opening a door or window and telling the entity to leave while shoving it out pretty much.

Extras

- Research closed practices. Learn why they are closed, who they are closed to, what practices are closed etc so you don’t unintentionally/accidentally appropriate a practice. Note: You shouldn’t be doing/using things from closed practices if you are not a part of them.

- Have a grimoire or book of shadows. A book of shadows/grimoire is basically a journal of all the knowledge you have learned throughout your practice. It’s a place you can find answers from or just give yourself a refresh on a topic. It’s like when you would write down everything you learnt in class.

- Meditation is the basis of everything. You need to be grounded and you need to be in tune with yourself for things like divination (as one example) to go smoothly. Try different methods of meditation, Find out what works for you. For example, I struggle to meditate unless the room is pitch black, there is no noise and I am laid down. Other people may benefit more from things like guided meditations which you can easily find on YouTube.

- Be careful of what information you take from social media. Always properly research a subject, cross reference resources and make sure the source is not problematic. Unfortunately, I have seen a lot of misinformation and potentially harmful activities being promoted on platforms such as tik tok.

🌷Recommended YouTubers 🌷

Below is a list of YouTubers that I would personally recommend for useful information:

- The Witch of Wonderlust (Great source of information for beginners. Has plenty of videos to do with cleansing, protection and banishing. One of my go tos for witchy content.)

- The Norse Witch (Has plenty of information for beginners as well as additional information about Norse Paganism if that’s an interest. Occasionally does unboxings for witchcraft subscription boxes if you are interested in those.)

- The witches cookery (Has a great playlist called “Witchcraft 101” which has some great “how to” and “witchy tips” videos. Also features a lot of information for kitchen and green witches.)

Side note: There are probably more content creators out there that are worth recommending but I rarely use YouTube anymore so I’m not too up to date on witchy channels on there.

Sorry this post took me so long to write, I’ve had a lot going on in my personal life today that I’ve had to prioritise. I hope this helps even a little! 💕

Tip-Jar and Readings

[theidiotwhowritesthings]

I have covid (for the first time ever wtf) and I’m feeling sick and pathetic. Just thinkin’ bout how I have to take care of myself and I hate it. How do you think sugar daddy Joel would take care of our sugar baby reader without spending any money if she got Covid or the flu??

I need some fluff to get me thru. PS I love u and your writing so flipping much.

Sugar Daddy!Joel Miller x F!Reader

Word Count: 1.1k

Warnings: mentions of illness, reader can eat chicken noodle soup, reader has hair that can be brushed away from her face

Timeline: this does not fit into the current TCOY story line and is just a separate drabble in the same universe!

[a/n: first of all, OH NO. I know how bad COVID sucks. (fun fact I've had it on five separate occasions, I basically collect a new round of it every time a new strain runs through our hospital). Please please please make sure you stay hydrated above all else! Obviously I don't know your medical history, but the best general advice is to not get dehydrated. Your body needs fluids to fight the good battle. second, I love YOU and I know this isn't much and it's not that great b/c I threw it together in fifteen minutes but I hope it makes you feel a little better, my love💜]

TCOY DRABBLE:

HOMEMADE IS BETTER THAN STORE BOUGHT

"happiness is homemade."

“Baby girl, I need you to sit up for me.” Joel hummed.

You were buried in the thick comforter of his bed feeling absolutely miserable. The cold had come on suddenly. A small cough, more irritating than anything else, spiraled into full body aches, a splitting migraine, and congestion so bad that it felt like your head was filled with concrete. Joel’s heavy hand brushed aside the hair matted to your forehead with dried sweat. Your fever was lingering last Joel checked, but the Nyquil he forced you to take with a bottle of water earlier was helping some.

Joel murmured your name once more and you just moaned in response. You felt the bed dip with his weight and his hand dragged up and down your back. The motion brought with it a comfort on par with medication itself. 

“You think you can eat somethin', sugar?” Joel asked.

“Maybe later.” You mumbled. “Sleepy.”

“That’s probably the Nyquil.” Joel replied. “I sent Riley to pick up some stuff from the store.”

You felt Joel lean over and his lips brushed against your temple. You shook your head, “You’re gonna get sick. I should quarantine alone.” You buried yourself deeper into his bed. With your nose stuffed like it was, you couldn’t smell his sheets and that bothered you more than it probably should’ve. “Don’t you have that meeting today too?”

“If you think I’m leavin' you like this, sugar, then that fever’s got you delusional.” Joel snorted. You felt the covers you had bundled yourself in begin to untangle and a whine that could only be described as pathetic slipped your lips. Before you knew it though, Joel was under the thick comforter with you and you felt yourself get pulled into his warm chest. “C’mon, baby girl. Sleep it off.”

You snuggled closer into his grip and focused on the random patterns he was rubbing on your shoulder with his hand. As a human, this was obviously not the first time you had gotten sick, but something about this time felt different. With Joel’s thick arms wrapped around you it dawned on you that it was him. The last time you were sick you were forced to take care of yourself and work through it. Having your sugar daddy around made you needy as all hell it seemed, but the comfort Joel immediately showed you had you melting against his chest.

“When I wake up, can I have soup?” You blurted the words out, half asleep.

Before sleep took you completely, you heard Joel’s deep chuckle, felt it rumble against you, “Sugar, you can have anythin' you want.”

When you woke up, you did feel marginally better. Joel was no longer in bed with you and you slowly sat up to rub at your face. You craved a hot shower to wash off the sweat and open your sinuses a bit more. A groan left your lips, still feeling crummy, and you began to climb out of bed.

“Whoa, whoa, pump the brakes.” Joel called out. He came into the room holding a tray and you chuckled at the sight of him. He set the tray down on the nightstand to usher you back into bed. “Where do you think you’re goin'?”

You gave him a tired smile, “Shower. I feel icky.”

“Icky?” Joel asked and you nodded. He chuckled and leaned forward to press his lips on your forehead again. He sat back and rubbed a hand against your leg. “Think you can stomach somethin' first?” You nodded again and Joel grabbed the tray. It looked like a bowl of chicken noodle soup, but not the kind that came out of a can of Campbell’s. “Here we go.”

You tilted your head, “Where’d you buy the soup?”

“Didn’t.” Joel grinned. “Made it.”

“You made it??”

“Uh huh.” It was honestly adorable how proud he looked of it. “Homemade is better than store bought, right? Gets you better quicker.”

You laughed, “I’m not so sure about the science behind that.”

“No, no. When I googled the recipe it definitely said this would get you better faster.” Joel teased.

You picked up the spoon and carefully blew the heat away before bringing it to your lips. The first thing you tasted was salt. A lot of salt. Too much salt. You coughed in response and tried not to twist your face to reveal the reaction. You cleared your throat and smiled, “Yum.”

Joel furrowed his brow, “What’s wrong? No good?”

“No. It’s⏤ It’s good.” You said quickly. “It’s… I like the, uh, the…” 

Joel grabbed the spoon from your fingers to take a sip himself and he immediately spluttered with a cough and groan, “What the fuck is that?” Your lips twitched up into another smile. “That tastes awful. Jesus Christ. Gimme that.”

He took the tray from you and set it on the nightstand again away from you. You set a hand on the side of your face while watching his face crumple into a grumpy look of annoyance. You shook your head, “What did it taste like as you were making it?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know. While you were making it did it taste okay?” You clarified. Joel narrowed his eyes at you in thought and you tilted your head. “…Did you taste it while making it?”

“You’re supposed to eat it while you make it??”

You laughed, “Not eat. Just taste.”

“Shit.” Joel scoffed. “I ate some of the chicken and it was good.” You reached out and cupped his face. He looked annoyed with himself, but at your touch the grumpy demeanor morphed into a soft look of concern and disappointment. Joel sighed and turned his head to press a kiss to your palm before leaning into your touch again. “I’m so sorry, sugar. Just wanted to do somethin' nice for you myself rather than just buy…”

You shook your head, “This was nice. I loved it.”

“There is no way you loved that soup. It was just salt, damn it.”

“No, but I love that you tried.” You replied. “It’s the effort that counts.”

“That’s just what people say when they fuck up.” He grumbled.

You leaned forward and kissed the tip of his nose, “You said the homemade version would make me feel better, and this has definitely made me feel better, daddy.”

Joel wrapped his hand around the back of your neck and stared softly for a moment before his smile returned. “You missed my lips, sugar.”

“I already told you. I’m icky.”

“Don’t care. Still want you.”

“You are already pushing your luck.” You scoffed in amusement. “You are gonna end up sick.”

Joel pulled you closer, and even at full strength you’d never be capable of refusing this man. He paused with his lips just barely touching yours. “I’ll risk it.” Joel’s lips sealed against yours tenderly. A soft kiss of comfort rather than of passion. A wordless act of reassurance that he was there. Joel’s tongue just barely brushed against yours before he leaned back and left you wanting more. He hummed, “You taste like salt.”

“Yeah, gee, I wonder whose fault that is.”

[wisherbysharlight]

It took me nearly 15 years to get my endometriosis diagnosis and comprehensive treatment, but I recognize I’m super privileged in being able to access care where I live from one of the top doctors in endometriosis research(specifically endometriosis in adolescents, but his research spans all age groups). I want to share some of the things I learned, along with study sources he linked me to, so others can advocate to their providers for the care they need. So without further ado:

✨ What I Wish I Knew About Endometriosis 15 Years Ago ✨

No amount of pain is “normal”

Don’t get gaslit into thinking “everyone” who has periods goes through pain. Seek treatment - you deserve better.

Diagnosis/treatment is kinda a pain, even with a doc who takes you seriously

The general course of action for diagnosis/treatment will be attempt treatment through OTC painkillers (Tylenol, Midol, etc), attempt at least 1-2 forms of hormonal birth control(typically oral contraceptive/birth control pill or the ring/patch/shot), then decide with your doctor whether to pursue either further hormone treatments, such as GnRH(which suppress estrogen/can help stop progression of endo) or an IUD, and/or surgical intervention where they go in and find/remove the existing lesions.

Surgery for me took a couple hours, and I had an IUD placed during the operation(at recommendation of my doc). Full recovery was around 2 weeks. Its worth noting right now you can technically only be diagnosed through surgery.

You may have to mix-and-match to find the right solution.

Only 33% of people with endometriosis in a recent controlled study saw significant improvement by IUD alone, as compared to IUD with supplementary hormonal treatment(like oral birth control or hormone inhibitors). Source: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1083318812002379

Some options may actually make it worse. Keep an eye on your symptoms.

Studies show that estrogen based treatments can potentially exacerbate endometriosis and promote endometrial growth, so treatments without estrogen or with specific types of estrogen are more recommended. Source: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5683134/

Its Got Hella Comorbidities

Fibromyalgia, scoliosis, arthritis, thyroid disease, migraines, chronic fatigue, and bowel disease(IBS, crohn’s, celiac, etc), and more are all potential associations/comorbitities. It’s also worth noting that having any of these in your family history may also put you at higher risk for endo. As my doc said - you’re not guaranteed to get all, or even any, of these, but they’re things to keep an eye out for. Sources:

IBS: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9357916/

IBD/Crohns: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32629225/

Celiac: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24992792/

Thyroid: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10234359/

Migraine: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38436302/

Painful Bladder Syndrome: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3015716/

EDS: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0002937824001637

Arthritis: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35258592/

Scoliosis: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/9238674/

TMJ: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10144081/

Kidney Stones: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9108729/

POTS: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3413773/

Fibromyalgia: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30682223/

Chronic Fatigue: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6537603/

Sjogren’s Syndrome: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/39083399/

Bonus Advice

No published studies exist showing any increase/decrease of symptoms between usage of different menstrual products. Do whatever makes you most comfortable!

For OTC pain management, Tylenol or Aleve may be your best bets over Advil, based on their anti-inflammatory nature.

He also recommended probiotics pretty heavily, since digestive issues(ie bad period poops) are super common. Any with >10Bn active cultures are good!

(Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, just someone that learned a lot and wants to share)

[blond3ang3l]

Gaz x reader angst

How did it possibly turn into a fucking hurricane of emotions?

Gaz came home up upset because of his teammates. The constant belittling of him and doubting of his abilities could only go on for so long before he eventually snapped. He could usually take it as a joke because he knew damn well he was a lot better than any of the team knew. But once Ghost made a comment to Soap about how “He’s surprised that Gaz is even part of team” something in him just couldn’t take it no more. For fuck sake he worked with the queen and they still think he’s just some amateur.

He couldn’t prove them by snapping at them. So what would he do to calm himself down? Well nothing good…

All you did was simply greet him when he came in. In return you got yelled at to get the fuck off his back and how he doesn’t need you bitching at him. You turned and looked at him like he had two heads. He must have lost his mind speaking to you that way.

“Excuse you?”

“Oh what now?! You to fucking dumb to understand what I’m saying?”

You laughed at him in disbelief it’s no way in the world he was talking to you that way. This set him off beyond belief. He got in your face screaming at you about how he bust his ass all day just for you to laugh at him. Of course you argued back telling him how he threw everything out of proportion.

It had been almost two hours and you’ve been arguing non stop. You had a pounding migraine and just threw you arms in the arm and told him you were done.

“Tsk of course you are that’s cause your weak if it weren’t for me who knows where you would be. Probably with that little bitch you dating before me”

You went silent as you looked at him in astonishment. He just had the audacity to throw your past in your face for no reason. And now you just both stood there looking at each other. He knew he fucked up but how pride was to big for him at the moment. You sucked your teeth and shrugged as you grabbed your phone and started walking to the door of your shared home.

“Who really knows, but I know one thing you got me mistaken with some other bitch right now.”

“Babe where are you going.”

He couldn’t believe that you were leaving but once he seen you step foot out the door his heart shattered.

“Don’t worry about me Kyle.”

“Kyle?”

“Mhm me and you we are done.”

“Babe wai-”

“Maybe you should take their advice Kyle, you still do act like a child.”

@silas-222

[mistyhollowcottage]

Saving Money as a Homemaker 🧺

I’ve posted before that we’re anxiously awaiting and preparing for our second baby and with that we’re focusing heavily on saving money! We have high hopes of buying first cars, paying for college, etc etc for both of our girls and despite the fact one is 18 months old and the other is still in utero, we know that the saving and preparing starts now. I do not bring in an income in our home but I do help manage the money my husband brings in and I work hard at making every dollar go as far as possible, so here are some things that make our money go further:

1. Eating at home - everyone gives this advice and it’s because it’s 100% true. You are literally throwing away money eating out and more and more the food that you buy at restaurants isn’t even that good. An easy way to make the switch is by making crockpot meals. Many are “dump and go” meals that require no skill and 9/10 you’ll even have leftovers for lunch the next day. Plus a crock pot is like $20-25 and they last forever.

2. Pay off existing debt - I’m not talking just your monthly minimums. If you have an extra $100 without a job in your monthly budget, it should go towards debt. Any extra you pay on your principal now is money you don’t have to pay in interest later. If you need more motivation for paying off your debt early, pull up a debt calculator and see how much in interest you’ll be paying before it’s all said and done. I promise you’ll get motivated real quick.

3. Create a budget!!! - if you are just floating through life, spending money willy nilly, I promise you don’t even realize how much money you’re just throwing away every month. I remember after I graduated from college and met my husband, we sat down to look at my finances together and I was legitimately embarrassed to see how much money I spent just getting coffee. I was spending a car payments worth on coffee every month and I literally was a barista. I could make that ish at home!! side note - "fun money" is a category you should have in your budget. You are bound to stumble if you aren't ever allowed to spend any money on yourself.

4. Determine what’s worth investing in and what’s not - for us this is list is pretty short. We invest in food and “clean” products. We eat and feel good on a high protein diet so we prioritize meat within our budget. Yes, there are plenty of cheaper plant protein sources, but that is not how we choose to fuel our bodies and it’s not how we feel best. But, more than just choosing to prioritize this financially, we prioritize the time it takes for my husband to go hunting to help save money on this as well. As far as “clean” products, I’m talking fragrance/toxin free shampoos, conditioners, cleaning supplies, etc. We’ll shop sales if one becomes available but we will not skimp with a $1 bottle of shampoo that will irritate my husbands skin or leave me with a migraine. This list will and should look different for every family but if you have your priorities clearly laid out there’s no room for convincing yourself that something not on this list is worth spending extra money on.

5. If you can make it at home, you should make it at home - cleaning products, food, gifts, home decor, all of it.

6. Thrift! But not as a hobby - I love thrifting and there’s a heck of a thrill in finding a beautiful ceramic mug or stumbling upon a cute sweater, but you’re not saving money like that. You should thrift for the things you need first and make sure to have a clear idea of what you’re looking for before going in. The thrift store should ideally be your first stop when looking to buy, but if you can’t find it after a bit of time looking, you’re not less than for having to buy new.

7. Borrow borrow borrow - sure, it’s kinda annoying to borrow other peoples stuff, but there’s really no reason to buy something you only need once or twice.

8. Learn to sew- I’ve had so many pieces of clothing rip at a seam and if I didn’t know how to stitch that back together, I’d have to throw it away and probably replace it (I’m looking you pockets on jackets). Instead, a five minute YouTube video has saved me, idk, probably at least $100.

9. Order your groceries online - this is probably very dependent on which grocers you have close to you, but ours still has online coupons and sales and it is an excellent way to make sure that you're sticking to your list. Plus, it's a godsend with little kids.

10. Finally, identify yours and your spouse's strengths and weaknesses - by this I mean, can you not help yourself from buying something if you go "just to look around" at your favorite shop? Does your husband add 47 unnecessary items to the grocery order anytime it's his turn to do the shopping? Whatever your individual money spending weakness are, identify those and help keep each other accountable or hand off the things that the other excels in so the temptation is just never there.

Happy money saving!

[sharpth1ng]

firstly, big fan of your work. big fan. huge! (only real ones will understand that reference)

secondly i saw that you posted about a chronic pain flare up - that’s awful, as someone who also suffers from chronic pain it's the fucking worst and a complete nightmare. honestly, chronic pain is still relatively new to my life and i don’t have many people who i know that struggle with it too (in my day to day) so it’s very inspiring i guess to hear about how you are able to juggle life, chronic pain, and brilliant creative expression. i’m still like struggling to figure out how to balance all my day to day necessities in addition to all the health stuff so although it might sound a bit stupid since obviously there’s a lot of people out there who manage it - reading your post the other day gave me some hope for my future so thank you.

don't feel obligated to reply to this or anything just wanted to let you know and although as mentioned above i'd obviously love any update you give us please be kind to yourself and take all the time you need

cheers xx

First, thank you!

Second: It's not stupid at all to be struggling to manage your life around chronic pain.

Honestly and truly I struggle with it regularly, and so do many of the other people who have chronic pain. Capitalism isn't structured for people to thrive in, even if they're at peak health. The healthiest people inevitably burn out trying to meet the demands of modern life because those demands are increasingly inhumane.

My best and most honest advice to you is to dismantle the part of you that thinks that's the way you should be. Your life isn't a software to opitimize, yk? You deserve more than that.

To give you some context, it took me about 7 years to finish my undergraduate degree (for most people its meant to take 3-4). I felt horribly embarrassed about this for a long time, I always got good grades in school so it felt like if it was taking me longer then it had to be an issue of effort. I beat myself up and shamed myself for years for the fact that I had to take time off school or that I couldn't handle a full course load without falling apart. The truth of it was that if pushing myself didn't landed me in the hospital at the end of the semester, then it left me incredibly sick and burnt out over the holidays.

In that time I never gave myself credit for the fact that I was fighting through my degree with migraines, body pain, autistic burnout, and a still un-diagnosed digestive disorder that I didn't know how to manage. I also never gave myself credit for making it through my degree while I was transitioning and working to save up for top surgery.

But I think in light of everything, looking back on it I can be proud of myself for finishing it, no matter how long it took. I don't need to hold myself to the standard that society says I should meet. Society doesn't know me or my life, and it assumes timelines that aren't even available to healthy people anymore. Give yourself credit for the things you can get done, even if they seem minor.

Now in my life I'm lucky enough to have work with mostly flexible hours, so I can usually work around my health issues. It doesn't pay the best and it's not the most consistent so my financial situation isn't hyper stable but I can get by. I do my best with it, but it does always feel like I'm behind on something- whether that's my creative work, my relationships or the work I do for pay.

I'm working on giving myself understanding and patience in this, and I want you to try and do the same. You will find ways to manage and balance it, you might find a good treatment, and your condition won't always be at its worst. Sometimes you'll be able to manage a lot and sometimes you'll be able to manage less and that's ok. Life with chronic pain is not hopeless. It can be full of accomplishment and joy and good experiences as much as it can be really fucking hard, you just have to make it work for you. Not for anyone else.

No one, not even people who have no chronic health conditions should be expected to be 100% functional at all times. It's unfair and unrealistic, and your worth as a person has nothing to do with how much you can get done.

💜

P.S One last piece of advice: doctors are essentially trained to minimize pain, especially if you are afab/femme/not white. If you also experience chronic pain on top of any of those factors its likely you are misreporting your pain, because the standard pain scale is not designed for people who experience pain every day.

Using a translated scale like this can really help:

[sevenrenny]

Took ibuprofen at work cause I'm starting to feel the beginning of a migraine episode and I need to be able to drive myself home in two hours (no, no family member will help me with that, and public transit doesn't reach my area.)

Coworker saw me and proceeded to reprimand me for taking painkillers because "They're not good for you." She knows I have chronic migraine. I'm on preventative injections. They lessen the strength and frequency of the episodes but doesn't get rid of them entirely.

I reminded her I have chronic migraines. I don’t WANT to take pain meds to function but that's not my reality. She didn't back down, insisting it's bad for me to be medicated but doesn't give me a solution, she just wants to be right.

That's something I see a lot: folks pretending they know my chronic medical conditions better than I do.

I lost count how many times they tell me I pass out and have dry skin and dry eyes because I just don't drink enough water, and every single time I have to remind them I have a disorder that causes me malabsorption leading to dehydration. No matter how much water you think I need, it won't do anything.

Whatever advice you've thought of on the spot, I've already tried within all the years I've lived with my conditions.

I'm not in this crappy situation because I 'haven't tried' this or that, I'm in this crappy situation and I've exhausted all of my options and it is what it is.

[frederickkittens]

Day 17: how does accessibility / practicality impact my wardrobe?

Well…. I can’t wear skirts, flats or heels, and I always have to carry a large bag.

There’s other small things like not being able to wear headband style headpieces for very long due to them often triggering headaches and sometimes even migraines, so the clip style or tie is much prefered.

For skirts it’s half accessibility and half just… how I look. But gross tmi I bloat very badly due to medical issues and jsks + ops just don’t cause me the same pain and discomfort that skirts do when that happens. Elastic is my enemy I think.

Shoes I’m not too bothered with since I prefer the look of platforms anyways but it took me years to realize that the issue isn’t Lolita shoes it’s the fact I kept buying flat Lolita shoes or low heels thanks to everyone giving me the advice that those are “the most comfortable” even though rhs and other platforms for me lol! Glad I figured it out.

The large bag is just due to needing to always carry around a whole pharmacy and emergency stuff in my bag with me so little dainty cutesy bags just don’t really cut it for my needs. I do own a few plush bags but usually if I carry them I just use them as a decoration while carrying a tote bag or something as well. Tote bags are really my favorite kind of bag since they don’t add a lot of weight / bulk. I’ve had some bags I carry leave bruising or just be difficult to hold and use so tote bags are always my safe option.

[hayffiebird]

Hayffie Post-Mockingjay Multi-chapter, Rated M

Four years have passed since the end of the war when Effie returns in to Haymitch’s life once again. An old friendship is renewed. Will it lead to something more?

Meanwhile Panem has entered a new era. The rebellion’s over, the borders are open but in the shadows, anger and mistrust are smoldering. Something that will affect Haymitch and Effie’s life in a way they never saw coming.

Author's note: Happy Hayffieweek! I won't technically participate but at least you get a ToS chapter. :) A big thank you and a big hug to you sweethearts reading and responding to this story.

You're the best and I'm so grateful! If you were here I'd follow in the prep team's footsteps and invite you over for tea and a batch of Peeta's yummiest cookies. ;)

Chapter 49, In vino veritas

*ring ring*

Hello, this is Effie Trinket’s answer phone. I can’t pick up at the moment but do leave a message and I will call you back. Until then: have a very very nice day! *peep**ring ring*

Hello, this is Effie Trinket’s answer phone. I can’t pick up at the moment but do leave a message and I will call you back. Until then: have a very very nice day! *peep* *ring ring*

Hello, this is Effie Trinket’s answer phone. I can’t pick up at the moment but …

*click*

Hello? … um, helloo?

Hi Octavia …

Oh, there you are! I was getting really worried about you! Been calling for almost five minutes.

Sorry. It’s … I was in the bathroom.

Of course you were. Silly young me! I’m getting ready here too. You all set? Such a thrilling day! Aren’t you so excited? Oh, the twins will LOVE the Summer Breeze! We can’t bring them on any of the roller coasters of course. Flavius always puke anyway. But there are still plenty of “baby-friendly” rides to go around. The Love Tunnel. Lucretius’s Magic Carpet. The teacups. Hey, maybe it’ll even help with your little problem? And we couldn’t have asked for better weather, right? Everything’s perfect! Octavia, listen …

But before anything else, I need your advice on something. I’m sitting by my vanity – as we speak – and I cannot for the life of me decide which earrings to wear! On the one hand, I’ve got these spectacular neotropical scarlet macaws. You know, the famous red, blue and yellow parrot? Gorgeous. Obviously! But then I also own a pair of silver sea turtles with amethysts and well … you see my conundrum. What do you think? Which one of these will make me the prettiest girl at the fair?

I … I wouldn’t know …

Oh, don’t sell yourself short! Next to me and Flavius and Venia, you’re by far the number one expert on beauty! Come on, Effie, this is important to me! I can’t show up looking ghastly.

Course not … you …

I’m leaning toward the birds, naturally. You know, because colors are so colorful and fun. But then again, if I save the turtles for the Aquarium, won’t it be a cliché? Maybe I should go with the amethysts after all. But if I do, what if people think … Octavia, look … I … I know how excited you are about today but … I don’t think I can make it.

Wait, what?

I don’t feel very well and the twins … they aren’t even dressed to go out yet.

Are you ill? *gasps* It’s not contagious, is it? Because I cannot under any circumstances be sick this week.

No, no. Don’t worry. It’s just a migraine.

Have you had enough to drink today? Maybe you’re dehydrated? Don’t worry. Flavius and Venia and I will take the twins for a walk and you can treat yourself with a nice, long nap. It’ll invigorate you in no time.

Thank you, but I feel I must take this day for myself. Raincheck? Doesn’t mean you three can’t have fun.

But it wouldn’t be the same without you! Or the children! *tsks* Effiie! We had it all planned out!

I’m sorry.

Flavius will be so disappointed! He wanted to spin the chocolate wheel. *gives a heavy sigh* I guess, we’ll just have to try and find something else to do, somehow. But it won’t be as fun. Take care of yourself, sweetie.

You too. Give my love to the others.

Mm. As soon as I’ve figured out how to break it to them. What a day. No cotton candy. No stuffies for the twins. Nothing. *sighs again* Bye, Effie dear. Get well soon.

Bye.

*toot toot*

xXx

“… and they lived happily ever after.”

Effie whispered the words, lying on her side next to them on the bed.

Sandy hair fell over Ian’s forehead when he rolled in toward her, seeking his mother’s closeness and warmth. Effie dropped a butterfly kiss to his skin.

The girl gave a soft whine. Crinkled her face up from whatever dream she was having. Her chest rose and fell in puffy little breaths as she opened and closed her fists.

“It’s OK, precious”, Effie whispered. Ever so gently she caressed a light fingertip between Amy’s closed eyes and down her nose.

A trick that Sae once taught her. It never failed to help settle the girl down. That and papa Haymitch’s strong, safe embrace. “It’s OK to sleep. I’m here. Mama’s here. Everything will be alright.”

Her own eyelids felt dipped in lead. What she wouldn’t do to just crawl under these covers and sleep the day away. Today and the rest of the week, for that matter.

She knew she shouldn’t have lied to Octavia. About the migraine. But what else could she say?

Certainly not the truth. “I’m sorry Octavia but Haymitch is slowly destroying his brain with alcohol as we speak and if you drag me into an amusement park for three hours I’ll end up on the news, having a nervous breakdown right in front of all those poor chocolate-sticky children. My own included.”

No. It was better this way. Better for all involved.

She nuzzled Ian’s skin. Caressed Amy’s hand between her thumb and forefinger.

“What are they doing now, you think?” she whispered to her children’s sleeping faces. “Uncle Flavius and aunt Octavia and aunt Venia. Enjoying a ride on the Ferris Wheel perhaps?”

She saw it as clearly as she did Amy and Ian.

The three of them, snuggled together in a passenger car. Heading for the place of birds. Giggles. Chatter. Bowls of buttered popcorn, warm to the touch. And down below: a spectacular view of the city. The river. The distant Capitol mountains.

Because of course they never cancelled. She didn’t believe it for a second. They’d been looking forward to this all week long. Especially Flavius. And the tickets were already bought and paid for.

Maybe Haymitch is right, she thought unhappily. Maybe they will grow tired and move on.

The possibility stung, but who could blame them? She hadn’t exactly been fun company lately.

R-i-i-ng!

The bell only just managed to break through her haze.

Not the phone. The front door. Far, far away – in a different life it seemed. Effie closed her eyes. Curled into the twins. Like a baby still in the womb. Nose in Ian’s soft, angel hair. Hand around Amy’s.

Her mother all but cleared her throat, telling her to go get the door, but Effie shrugged her off.

Just this once, she wasn’t going to care. Whoever it was, whatever they wanted – it could wait. Ill-mannered? So be it.

R-i-i-ng!

Her brows came together, eyes still promptly shut.

It’s not the prep team, she thought, despite herself. Way too discreet.

Their rings were always forceful. Insistent. Headache or no.

Couldn’t be Haymitch either. Doorbells equaled decorations in his book. He walked straight in.

That day when he showed up at her doorstep, out of the blue, hours before they made love in a bed for the first time, he’d pressed the bell. But that was a rare thing.

A sort of honeymoon treatment he definitely gave up on after she’d slept with him long enough to have his babies.

Maybe it’s Mrs Pluckrose.

Effie swallowed a sigh.

Yes, her delightful neighbor. Going on and on about how someone didn’t bother to mow their lawn this week and “we uphold a certain standard around here, Ms Trinket, in case you forgot”.

R-i-i-ng!

Oh, go away. Eyes squeezed shut, Effie pressed her lips together, willing her to leave. Just let me sleep.

Maybe the person – whoever it was – heard her thoughts, for a fourth ring never followed.

Effie caressed her daughter’s hair, breathing a sigh of relief. Silence resumed. She had almost gathered her thoughts when,

Tap-tap!

Startled, her eyes flew to the window.

She’d pulled the curtains shut earlier but behind them – a shadow was moving. Face shrouded in darkness, silhouetted by the brilliant sun.

Heart pounding, Effie sat up in bed.

“Who is it?”

And on the other side of the glass, a woman replied,

“Don’t be alarmed, ma’am. I’ve just got a delivery for you.”

Effie inched the curtain aside. Then some more.

Face tilted, the lady smiled as they came eye to eye.

“Thought someone was home”, she said. “What with the stroller out front.”

Effie blinked at the beaming lady, standing there in her flower bed.

Stout. Burly. Dressed in a lavender uniform and carrying what looked like some kind of gift basket wrapped up in cellophane and tied with ribbons.

She looked about Venia’s age. Dark skin. Silver mascara. Purple hair gathered in a ponytail.

A name was stitched on the side of her chest. Effie squinted at the letters. “Briar Rose”.

Briar Rose! Same as Snow’s youngest daughter.

“Oh, don’t hold it against me”, the lady said lightly when she saw her look. “We don’t all get to choose our own names. Besides”, she added, “the story it derives from goes back way beyond the Snow’s dynasty.”

Effie hesitated, then reached for the hooks on the window. Opened it ever so carefully.

“I just put my babies down”, she said, under her breath.

The woman called Briar Rose, nodded.

“I’ll make it brief then.”

“I didn’t order anything though.”

“Well, it says right here, ‘Effie Trinket’, and there’s only one Effie Trinket in the city, right?” The woman sounded almost amused.

“Yes?”

“Then I’ve come to the right place.”

Briar Rose settled the gift basket against the windowsill.

Effie’s eyes were instantly drawn to the sealed envelope attached to it.

A match of hope struck inside her.

“From District 12?”

“I’m afraid not.” The cellophane rustled quietly under the woman’s hands. Purple nails that matched her hair, Effie noticed. “Sorry I startled you before”, Briar Rose went on. “I know this is most irregular, but they said you were feeling a little under the weather. That I had to make sure you got it.”

“They?”

The woman smiled.

“You must have some generous friends indeed. Sign here, please.”

Alone again, Effie settled on the bed. Basket on her lap.

Aphrodite’s Beauty Spa. The famous logo was printed along the ribbon. The envelope had one word written on it. Effie. In beautiful calligraphy letters.

She swallowed and swallowed.

Not a gift basket.

A wellness basket.

Eyes burning, stinging, like standing too close by a smoky fire, she carefully turned it from side to side. Peered at the items through the cellophane.

Packets of dried herbs and flower petals. Bottles of essential lavender oil. Scented candles. Coconut oil. Body cream infused with vanilla. Aromatic soaps shaped like water lilies, so small they fit on your palm.

Bath bubbles and bath salt. Lip smackers. Face masks, bath sponges in three different colors and, shoulder to shoulder with a set of fluffy baby-soft hand towels: a neat package of wrapped up boiled lemon sweets.

With trembling hands, Effie opened the envelope. Got out the card, printed with a field of gorgeous sunflowers.

Her eyes travelled from left to right and as she read, her face crinkled up, shoulders beginning to shake with silent sobs.

She tried to be quiet. Didn’t want to wake the children. But despite her great efforts, she couldn’t quite keep the small, strangled sounds from escaping her throat.

More and more tears just rolled down her cheeks, dropped from her chin and into the wellness basket.

All that built-up heartache for months and months, if not years just … poured through her eyes.

Dear Effie

We’re so sorry you’re feeling unwell. Staying in bed when you don’t want to, is just the worst (especially when you can’t also have sex with a hottie). You know Flavius would offer but he’s just not that into redheads. At least not this season. And sometimes rest, real rest, is all you need to really bounce back again. And you will, darling.

Now try and sleep as much as you can and, when you’re ready, go pour yourself a nice, warm bath. Add some oil, some petals, light a candle and just relax and unwind in the bubbly water.

Once you’re back on your feet, you have our numbers. We’ll bring dinner and iced tea and then we can play a game of Scrabble together. Won’t that be fun? If we can keep the twins from eating up the pieces, that is.

Take care of yourself, dear!

Love

Octavia, Flavius and Venia

PS: Don’t worry about the tickets. Flavius knows someone who works at the Breeze. We got a full refund. The fair will always be there and who knows? Maybe next time, Haymitch might want to join!

xXx

*ring ring*

… Mm?

Eff? Did I wake ya?

Mm.

Oh, shit. Fuck. Didn’t realize how late it was. ’m sorry. Go back to sleep. I’ll call y’up some other time.

You’re here now. What do you want?

Just tell ya … well, how sorry I um ... for bein’ sucha a dick afore.

You really were. Even by your standard.

Yeah … *slurs* those three odd birdies really bring out the worst in me. Go figguh.

*sighs* Haymitch, if all you’re going to do is joke around, might as well hang up now. I’m not in the mood.

No, no. I won’t. Come on, Effs. Don’t be so snippy. You know me. You know how I really feel about things. *hick* Didn’t even mean what I said ‘bout the prep.

Good.

Well … ma’be some of it, but like … not the stuff that were like really mean. Honest, swee… I mean Eff. They’re your friends. I wants you to have friends. If they wanna come over and sing n read n … do theatre, that’s fine.

…

It’s just … I should be doin’ those things!

I know.

I shoulda been there for Am’s first word! What’s next? Ian’s gon’ start callin’ Flavius “papa”? I’m glad someone’s there helpin’ ya out. I am, but damn it … it should be me! Right? Why can’t I be a part of their life too? I’m their father!

You know why, Haymitch.

But I ‘aven’t been drinkin’ all that much lately. Honest! And there are ways around it.

It’s not that simple.

Why couldn’t it be? I know I ain’t perfect, sweetheart. I know I’m not good at it like you are but … don’t ‘ey need me too? Just a lil’ bit? I mean, come on! You said I could see ‘em if I was sober.

And you’re not!

I would be. If you were here. And it’s not like they know wha’s goin’ on, anyway. They’re babies, Eff. Even if I had a cold one right in front of ‘em it wouldn’t affect or hurt ‘em. I won’t fuck ‘em up. I won’t!

That’s what you need to believe in order to sleep at night.

Why’d ya have to be so mean, I already said I’m sorry!! *sobs* I cleaned the house up. Tha’s where I was before. Ask Peeta if you don’t believe me. Whole fuckin’ place: spick and span now. I don’t even live with Sae no more. All week long I just wash everything. Threw out a mountain o’ crap. G-got all their toys ready, so you and … you … Effs, I can’t live like this! It feels like a part of me’s been cut off! I need to see my kids. Bring the prep team along if you must, I’ll wait on them hand and foot, just … please come home! You can’t keep punishing me like this, Eff. It’s too cruel. *sobs* They’re my children too.

I’m not being cruel. I’m just trying to keep this family afloat. Haymitch, I know you’re hurting … but this isn’t about you. Or me. It’s about them. What’s best for them. *draws a deep breath* Look … what we can do or at least try is buy a videophone and install it in the nursery. That way you can both see and talk to each other.

*sniffs* For real? You promise? Yeah … yeah, that’d be great!

But, Haymitch! You need to show me that you’re serious about it, OK? You have to be a grownup here. A real parent. If we do this and you disappoint them …

I won’t! Never!

No showing up drunk. Or hungover. And if we say Tuesday at 2PM that means Tuesday 2PM. No excuses!

No excuses. I swear.

We’ll try that for a while and if you can make it work – then we can talk some more about the prospect of you visiting. But you have to earn it, Haymitch. You must do the work. You.

Yeah, totally! Absolutely! *wipes his nose* Can I tell ‘em g’night? I won’t wake ‘em or anything. Just g’night?

Not when you’re like this. Tomorrow maybe. We’ll talk then. You and I for sure. Now, put that bottle down, Haymitch and go to sleep. Or if not sleep then at least try and rest. Lay down on the bed or the couch and close your eyes. Things will feel different in daylight.

Can you at least tell ‘em I love ‘em? I mean, like … really make sure they know?

I will. Of course. I already do. Every day.

Author's note: And Haymitch's destructive cycle has gone full circle again, only to start over AGAIN. The Trinket Abernathy family truly is completely codependent. What do you think will happen next? Tell me in the comments!

Also, anyone else feeling curious about this Briar Rose character? She was supposed to just be the delivery woman in this one scene but I have a strong feeling this isn't the last we'll ever see of her.

[foldingfittedsheets]

Heyo I was wondering if you know anything about mattresses and chronic pain and what may help more? I have chronic migraines and I've been looking into getting a new Mattress cause mine is old and needs replaced and I was like trying to do research on chronic migraines ans mattresses seeing if I might find one that may help (unfortunately I spend a lot of time in bed due to disabilities) and I'm looking to get a queen but like researching online I'm finding like a lot of conflicting stuff and most of it seems to be just buy our mattress it cures migraines or dumb stuff like that or something I know it depends probably on your body and preferences too but being disabled I have like no money so it's a big purchase for me and then our nearest mattress store is over a 2 hour round trip away and when you're disabled that's like going to the moon and I don't feel well so I want to do as much research as I can before I go cause last time I ended up in too much pain by the second store that i just picked the first mattress that hurt less to lay on and was like ok let's go spent far too much money on it and for the last idk 12 years? 11? Have disliked it immensely any advice would be much appreciated bc all I know at this point is that I need a queen

So for you, shopping around is a big ol Don’t. Don’t do that to yourself. Every store is going to have basically the same beds. Conserve your energy for finding the right bed once you’re in store.

You cannot research how a bed is going to feel for your body. But you can research where you want to buy it from. Compare for delivery fees, reviews, and services. A good place should have a long window to return or exchange, that means they’ll take care of you if something goes wrong.

Once you go in, convey immediately that you have special needs and must try as few beds as possible. A large portion of people shopping for beds are those with health issues that can’t ignore their mattresses impact on their health. The person should be prepared to make it as low impact as possible.

There is not going to be a mattress that you lay on that can cure your migraines. But there will be mattresses that are more comfortable for long times being bed bound. And the only thing I’ve ever heard associated with reducing migraines is getting to keep your head up, so for you with chronic pain and migraines who spends a lot of time in bed, getting a cheaper bed to budget for an adjustable base is a good idea. There’s places that have great sales on the adjustable bases specifically so that’s worth looking for.

I suspect that in your case having a hybrid might be up your alley, but it depends on you. All foam is the most pressure relieving with chronic pain but it can be harder to move around which is rough if you’re bed bound. Hybrid is best of both worlds.

Good luck, I hope it goes as well as it can!