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thevoidstaredback · 3 months ago

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Tales of Conquest, Warnings of Fools:

Letters Between Brothers

Damian Wayne, Dec. 24, 2011

Your forgiveness is more than I ever could’ve asked for. I still don’t think I deserve it, but I will take what you have given me, ahki.

You writing back was unexpected, but I’m so glad you did! Though, I guess this isn’t very secure, huh. Oh, well! As long as nothing incriminating is written down, we should be fine.

How’s father? And your siblings? I understand there are three kids father’s adopted. Also, what about your extracurriculars? Anything exciting going on that you can tell me about? It’s boring, crime wise, where I’m at. No murder mysteries or sex scandals or huge break-ins. Not that I want any of those to happen, but it’d be really fun to get to follow a case that isn’t twelve years old or four states over.

How are you adjusting at all, actually? It was a big culture shock for me for a while, especially because no one here speaks Arabic. Can you believe that? Some of the others still think I made up an entire language just to mess with them! I haven’t been able to speak with someone in our mother tongue in a while, but I’ve been trying not to forget any of it! Even if there’s an accent coming through.

Tell me about your life. Not what the media says. I want to know the real you. Do you have friends? Any pets? What about hobbies? Do you still have that dagger I made you that one time?

Anyway, I gotta go now. I hope to hear from you soon!

I don’t know what holiday(s) father and your siblings celebrate, so I’ll wish you a happy all of them!

سأسامحك دائماً يا أخي لقد وُضعت في أسوأ الاحتمالات وبذلت قصارى جهدك بما كان لديك من معرفة. كنت ستعرض نفسك للخطر فقط إذا عدت.

Danny Fenton

***

Danny had wasted no time in writing a response. Was he going to come off as eager? Probably, but he didn’t really care. His brother had responded to him! Granted, he thinks this is a trick, but there’s some part of Damian that believes Danny’s alive! He forgives him for not going home! It’s more than Danny could’ve ever allowed himself to hope for.

But, gods was he awkward! He hadn’t let Jazz read the letter at all. She didn’t know what he said the first time, she didn’t know what the response said, and she wasn’t ever going to read any of them if he had any say in the matter. Yes, they’re siblings and he loves her just as much as he loves Damian, but this was something she didn’t have any business poking her nose into. He liked to think that Damian would likewise keep this from his own siblings, though he’d totally understand if Dami shared purely because of the suspicious circumstances.

Anyway, Danny had read and re-read Damian’s letter for hours, trying to come up with the best response, only stopping when Jazz called him down for dinner. Sleep hadn’t come easily, either, because of the adrenaline from actually getting a response. He’d hoped he’d get one, but he was also sure that he wouldn’t get one.

But why did he have to be so awkward writing back? Damian’s his brother, not a total stranger! Damian probably wouldn’t care. Danny’s always been like that, awkward at all the wrong times. He’s just gotten used to not hiding it since he left, though it had taken a while.

He has to wonder, though, if Damian is with father, does this mean he’s left the Shadows? How had he done it? Obviously, he hadn’t faked his death. Father is a very public figure, so anything short of Damian leaving a massacre behind him as he left the Shadows would be unlikely. Unless he is still with the Shadows? In which case, Danny’s just doomed himself. Sure, the PO box was set up in the town over, and maybe he struck up a deal to have the letters sent from there to his house, but that wasn’t going to stop ninja assassins. Nothing short of death would stop ninja assassins!

No! Bad Danny! No use having second thoughts now; It’s too late. He just has to hope for the best. Gods, was he hoping, wishing on stars and everything! He wanted this to work out. He wanted to have a relationship with his older brother-

Damn, he’s still the younger sibling. He hadn’t thought much of it before, but both Jazz and Damian are older than him! If he counts father’s children, which he does only to prove his point this one time, then he’s the youngest of six kids! That’s not fair. Who decided that was a fair trade? Could be worse, he supposed. He could be stuck as a middle sibling. Shutter the thought.

“Danny?” Jazz opened the door with a knock, “You ready to send that letter?”

He groaned into his pillow. “I already did.”

“Really?” she wondered, sitting on the edge of his bed.

“Yeah,” he rolled over to face her, “Finished it this morning and shipped it off.”

Jazz hummed. “I still don’t get why you won’t let me read them. I could totally help you with spelling and stuff!”

Danny sat up and stared at her with a dead look. “Jazz, I was taught by people who were the best of the best in their fields. There isn’t a single thing you could do to help me write or read those letters.”

“Why not?”

“Because they aren’t in English.”

“Liar!”

“I’m not lying!”

“Yes you are! I saw the one you got! It was in English!” She paused. “Except for that last bit. That just looked like a bunch of squiggles.”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “That wasn’t a bunch of squiggles, Jazz. It was Arabic, my mother tongue.”

“First,” she adjusted to sit criss-cross on the foot of his bed, “Never say ‘mother tongue’ again; it sounds weird. Second, the simple solution is to teach me Arabic.”

Danny had to pause for a second to let the words register in his head. “You-you want to learn Arabic?”

She shrugged. “Sure. I mean, it can’t be that hard, right?”

“Yes it can,” he sighed, “You’d have to learn a whole new alphabet of letters and sounds. It’s not a Latin based language like English or Spanish.”

“I can do it!”

“I don’t doubt that, but I think an easier language would be better.”

She huffed. “You just don’t wanna share.”

True, but, “I could teach you Romanian? It’s a Latin derived language, like English, so it’s got the same alphabet.”

“Fine,” she agreed after a moment, “Where do we start?”

“Kids!” their dad called from the kitchen, “We have something for you!”

Danny and Jazz shared a grimace. “Down stairs, apparently,” he said. Quickly, they left the room and made their way down the stairs and to the kitchen. Their parents probably didn’t have any actual gifts for them, so they weren’t going to get their hopes up.

They were right, of course. Jack and Maddie Fenton were creatures of habit and obsession; workaholics, in simpler terms.

The two kids joined their parents at the table. “Mom,” Jazz greeted, “Dad.”

“Jazzypants!” Jack smiled, his voice booming, “Dann-o!”

“What’s up?” Danny asked. He wanted to go back to his room and stew over what he’d just sent to his brother. Seriously? ‘I’ll wish you a happy all of them?’ That’s so stupid! Beyond stupid, actually! He wanted to curl up and die. Can people die of embarrassment?

Maddie smiled kindly at her children, somehow matching her husband’s energy but not his volume. “We had another breakthrough in our research.”

“Oh?” Danny had been intrigued by the [now] Drs. Fenton’s research. It was all theoretical, of course, but they claimed to have proof of base for their research. He’d never seen it before, and they’d never offered to show him or Jazz, but they mentioned it in all of their papers. He’d never deemed it worth anything, so it had been pushed behind relevant information like literally anything else.

He still didn’t know how they’d gotten those papers published. They were the laughing stocks of the scientific and occult communities! An accomplishment in and of itself, really.

“Yes,” his mother nodded, “But that’s not what we called you two down to discuss.”

“It’s not? Jazz tilted her head to the side.

“Nope!” Jack’s smile somehow got bigger. “We’ve decided that the both of you are old enough-”

“-and responsible enough.” Maddie added.

“-do go down and see the lab!”

Jazz and Danny had two very different reactions to this statement. Danny was a bit excited to get to see whatever held his parents’ attention at all hours of the day. Jazz, on the other hand, was furious.

“What!” she demanded.

Jack and Maddie didn’t seem to even register her anger. “You two have both proven yourselves responsible in your school and house work, so we figured it was time to let you two in on the family business.”

“But, I don’t want to do lab work!” Jazz objected, now standing with her hands on the table and her chair pushed back aggressively.

“Nonsense,” Maddie waved her off easily, “You’ll love it. Besides, you’ve always wanted to help us in the lab, ever since you were a child.”

Jazz just screamed in outrage. “I’ve never said that!”

She was ignored. “Of course, we’ll have to go over the proper safety measures so that neither of you gets hurt.” Jack stated.

Throwing her hands up, Jazz stormed away from the table and stomped up to her room, the door slamming behind her. Danny has no doubts that she’s locked herself in.

“She must be tired,” Jack smiled fondly, “We’ve got some work to finish up down stairs, Dann-o, but we’ll be back up for dinner, alright?”

Danny nodded and the two left. Quietly, he whispered, “Liar.” to the empty main floor.

***

Danyal Fenton Dec. 27, 2011

Your definition of ‘incriminating’ must be wrong. You reaching out in the first place would’ve put us both in danger had your letter been intercepted. The same remains true for every letter we exchange, though I will not be the one to put a stop to the communication. It is nice to have physical evidence of your conversations, no matter how much time passes between each response.

I am still skeptical that you are my brother, but, as I said in my last letter, I will continue on with a shade pulled over my eyes, ahki.

I have done some research while living with father. My own experiences prove at least some of what they say is true. I never truly believed you had died. I always had a feeling that you were alive somewhere, safe, out of reach of Grandfather and Mother.

Father is well. In public, he is outgoing, drunk, clumsy, able to start a conversation from nothing and let it trail off into a slightly more useful nothing. In truth, he is standoffish, strong, able to talk circles around anyone. He is always ready for a fight and always prepared for the worst. He does not like surprises.

We have four siblings, and one honorary sibling. Richard Grayson, Jason Todd, Timothy Drake, Cassandra Cain, and Stephanie Brown. Grayson is more outgoing than the others, though he has been with Father the longest, so he is just as skilled as him. Todd was dead and refuses to communicate with Father. Drake is smart, but that is all he has going for him. Cain was raised in the League like us, though not at any of the bases we ever visited. Brown was dating Drake, but has since become more of a sister to the Manor.

Alfred Pennyworth is the family butler. He raised Father and continues to stand by his side. He is a formidable foe, though I have yet to see him in actual combat. He, aside from Father and myself, is the most competent resident of Wayne Manor.

Again, you need to reassess your definition of ‘incriminating’. There is nothing I can share, without consequence, that hasn’t already been made public by the GCPD. I will say, however, that my position as the superior child remains unchallenged. Not that any of those bastards Father has taken in would ever pose any kind of challenge to me or you.

I must ask, you know where I am, so is it not fair that you tell me where you are? The return address you have used leads to a PO box in Elmerton, Illinois, but I doubt that’s where you really are. Your description of ‘boring’ in regards to the crime rate is fully expected of anywhere when compared to Gotham, though that goes nearly doubly so for the midwest.

It was a shock to me as well, though I have been handling it. None of the others have noticed any unease, so I will take it. It will not do to show weakness in the face of enemies. I can agree, however, that the lack of use of Arabic is disappointing. I do not fear that I will ever forget the language or our home, but I do regret to say that I have encountered similar problems you have.

Father insists that I go to school with others my age to ‘socialize’, though I do not see the point. It’s all thinly veiled insults from the adults we are placed in the charge of. I am much smarter than my peers, so I have not been able to have a single intelligent conversation with any of them. The exception, however, being Jon Kent. He is adequate company. Our Father and his father are friends.

I have a cat named Alfred, after the butler. I would like to get a dog, but Father has denied my request. I have, however, managed to hide Goliath in the cave. Father knows he is there, but the others remain oblivious.

As for hobbies, art is the only one worth mentioning. I have several sets of paints and colors and pencils, though I remain partial to charcoal. Paper is the easiest to use, but I prefer canvas.

Of course I still have that dagger, Danyal. I have many weapons, but that is the only one that has never left my person.

Father is Jewish, though he was raised Catholic, and is an atheist; Grayson is Christian; Todd was raised Catholic, but is atheist; Drake was born to a Christian mother, but he follows after his father as an atheist; Neither Cain nor Brown were born into religious families, so they don’t follow any religion, as far as I’m aware.

Pennyworth has decorated the Manor for all of the holidays, though the only tradition I’ve actually seen practiced is the gift exchange from Christmas.

Honestly, you must work on your formatting. You give almost no information in exchange for your questions getting answers. It makes your letters very short. So, I will turn all of your questions back on you. I expect them to be answered sufficiently.

أفضل ما لدي لم يكن جيداً بما فيه الكفاية كنت أعلم أنك لا تزال على قيد الحياة، ومع ذلك لم أفعل شيئًا سوى نشر كذبة وفاتك.

Damian Wayne

***

The letter was a surprise, especially considering it’s a page and a half, though he should’ve expected it. He found it hilarious that the first thing Dami had done this time was to insult him. At least he’d waited a few lines in the last letter! It hurt a bit that Damian still thought this was a trick, but Danny couldn’t find it in himself to blame him. He’d’ve acted the same way if their roles were reversed.

He liked hearing about Damian’s family. They’re so different compared to what the media says. Then again, he expected that. Most people are hardly ever exactly how they’re portrayed to bigger audiences. The Drs. Fenton being an exception.

And, yeah, he knew Dami was going to search the address, but did he really have to come out and say it like that? At least he knew the Shadows (League?) hadn’t gotten in the middle, otherwise he’d’ve been cut down by now. Small blessings.

Ah, Goliath the dragon bat. Danny remembers when they got Goliath. Hiding him was hard, but they managed. Though, he’s fairly certain that Mother knew they had him hidden in the caves of Nanda Parbat. That does beg the question, though, of how the hell Damian managed to get a - by now - fully grown dragon bat across continents and into a cave in New Jersey without being spotted? Did he even really want to know? Probably not.

Danny could remember the expression on Damian’s face when he realized that Goliath was getting bigger. They’d found him on their first mission for Grandfather after leaving the group that had been sent with them. They’d kept him moving between their rooms when they got back, never keeping him in one for more than a night before moving him to the other. Then suddenly, the creature they’d found that was no bigger than their forearms was as long as their arms from shoulder to fingertip! They had only been able to keep Goliath between their rooms for another month before having to hide him in the caves under Nanda Parbat.

And the food! Goliath, even as a baby dragon bat, could eat triple his body weight. It was a wonder no one found him! How does Damian keep him fed? And how have his siblings not noticed the dragon under their house? Thoughts for another time.

Danny closed his book as he finished it. It was the astrology one, clearly written for people new to the topic, but he wasn’t complaining. It was easy to understand and he found himself actually enjoying it more than he originally anticipated. He could see why the girls in his class liked it, too. He could see himself falling deeper into this rabbit hole, but he wasn’t upset about that.

He moved on to read the second book he’d gotten, the one about witchcraft. Briefly, he chuckled at the image that he was slowly coming to see as his future. “A witch,” he hummed with a smile, “Mother would be so disappointed.”

The book opened up with a brief history about the topic before going into a deep dive about different practices and how things had changed and improved throughout history. It also gave names to famous witches and witch hunters, one that he recognized.

Jack Fenton, about three years after Danny had been taken in by the family, had given Danny a full rundown of his and Maddie’s family histories. Fentonightingale had been the family name until Jack’s great-grandfather had changed it to Fenton when he married. John Fentonightingale was a well known witch hunter in Salem, Massachustes in 1600. He was best known for eating a slow acting poison in the form of - now extinct - flowers as evidence against an unnamed witch on trial. He died shortly thereafter, leaving his grieving wife and children.

The humor was not lost to Danny. “Looks like dad’ll be disappointed, too.”

“Knock, knock?” Jazz asked from the hallway, knocking her knuckle on his bedroom door.

“Yeah?” he called back, closing his book and putting it down.

Jazz opened the door. “Well, I couldn’t help but notice that you’ve been hiding out here all day. No plans with Sam or Tucker?”

Danny shook his head. “Nah. Tuck’s spending the break with his family and Sam’s been forced to go to a rich person party somewhere in Washington.”

“DC?”

“State.”

“She’s not too far.”

“Too far for an emergency extraction.”

“You sound like she’s gonna get killed or something.”

Danny snorted. “Don’t jinx it, Jazzercise.”

“I’m not gonna jinx it, Danimal.” She leaned against the door frame. “Besides, even if she did die, she’d come back as a ghost just to haunt you.”

He groaned and flopped over onto his side. “Don’t even joke about that!”

“Why, ‘cause I’m right?” He groaned again. She laughed. “Alright, Dannibal Lector, since you’re obviously bored out of your mind, you wanna come watch a movie with me?”

“And risk mom and dad dragging us down into the lab?” He sat up, “No thanks.”

“Come on,” she goaded, “It’ll be fun! I’ll even let you pick the movie!”

“Hmmmm. A documentary on ghost hunting or a mockumentary on ghost hunting? Such a hard decision.”

Her arms dropped to her sides. “Come on, D! You can’t stay locked in here forever.”

“Actually, J, I think I can. I’ve got food, water, and entertainment. I’ll be fine.”

“What about when you have to pee or shower?”

“I’ll put a bucket in the corner and dump it out the window.”

“That’s disgusting.”

“And rainwater is clean enough.”

“It’s literally not, though.”

“Well, I won’t know unless I try.”

“You’re not gonna live in here by yourself!”

“Why? You wanna join me? Sorry, but there’s only enough pillows for a one person fort.”

She snorted and shook her head. “You’re unbelievable.”

“What’s hard to believe? Unless you’ve got pillows hidden up your-” He cut himself off with an exaggerated and mocking gasp. “Jazz! Do you have pillows hidden up your ass?”

“Danny!” she scolded, but her tone was fond, “Watch your language, brat!”

“What?” he giggled, “It’s a genuine question.”

Jazz rolled her eyes, “No, I do not have pillows shoved up my ass.”

“Language!” he mocked.

“Are you gonna come watch a movie with me or not?”

“Sure, sure,” he stood, “But if we get dragged down to the lab, I’m blaming you.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Danny was right. He was right and he was never listening to Jazz ever again. He could live in his room until he turned eighteen! That was totally something he could do. It wasn’t like he’d been raised to survive off of less in less space.

Instead of watching a movie they’d seen a million times before, the siblings had decided to watch YouTube on the TV. Halfway into Episode 4 of Buzzfeed Unsolved, their parents came up and dragged them down to the lab to show them their breakthrough from the previous night.

Looking at it, it was much less a breakthrough and more of ‘getting closer to the final picture’. The Ghost Portal had been a project that Jack and Maddie had been working on since college. A friend of theirs had gotten sent to the hospital for this project and had yet to be released. What had given them the idea that this was safe to build in their basement, let alone show their children? Regardless, it was too late now, so Danny and Jazz were forced to roll with it.

“We’re almost done with it!” Jack looked like a proud parent when he was looking at the thing.

The Ghost Portal, as it was now, was built directly into the furthermost wall of the basement. It wasn’t load bearing, thank the gods. The portal was ten feet deep, seven and a half feet tall, octagonal in shape. The paneling that covered the walls and ceiling was black with electric blue circuitry cutting through them. The blank spots where the paneling was not put up were gray, matching the cement floor of the lab. There were some work lights inside, white LED strips that lined the bottom seams where the floor met the walls. The floor itself was made of black tile and nearly completely covered in loose cables and unfinished paneling. There was a red button in place of one of the missing side panels that screamed ‘accident waiting to happen’.

“What is it?” Jazz asked, not daring to go closer than the stair doorway. Danny didn’t blame her.

“It’s the Ghost Portal, Jazzy!” Maddie’s grin was huge, taking up nearly her whole face. “We’ve nearly got it finished.”

“Yep!” Jack nodded excitedly, “All we’ve got left to do is finish the inside paneling, build the outer frame, and turn her on!”

“What about powering it?” Danny wondered just as Jazz said, “‘Her’?”

Jack still hadn’t taken his eyes off of the thing. “She’s already connected to the power grid; That’s why the circuitry in the paneling is glowing, see?”

Danny picked his way through the papers cluttering the table next to him, finding the portal’s blueprints on the very bottom. The handwriting in the margins was messy, obviously from two people and taking up almost every inch of the paper. The schematics of the portal itself was done in white and much neater than the black ink from his parents’ handwriting. A third person, probably their college friend, had been the one to draw the thing with the first basic formuli. Overall, it was messy and a hazard to look at.

“Are, uh, you guys sure that this won’t blow up our house?” Danny asked, unable to keep from scrunching his nose up at the sight of the blueprints.

“Positive.” Maddie sounded so serious, like it was the absolute truth.

“You wanna check out the inside?” Jack asked, practically bouncing like an excited puppy.

Jazz was quick to shake her head, going so far as to take a step back into the landing at the bottom of the stairs. Before Danny could follow her lead, though, Jack grabbed Danny and pulled him forwards.

“Go on,” the giant man urged.

Gulping, Danny complied. He was so going to lock himself in his room now. He didn’t plan on leaving until Sam and Tucker were both back in town! “Alright.” He hoped his hesitation was obvious enough for his parents to get the cue that he did not want to be doing this. Unfortunately, neither picked up on it. Jazz did, but she wasn’t about to risk moving closer in case Jack or Maddie got the idea of shoving her towards the thing, too.

Danny had a bad feeling about this.

Stepping into the tunnel that was the portal was like walking into a different world. Somehow, even though he was only half a foot in and there was light on all sides, it was dark in there. The blue from the paneling was nearly nonexistent, and the white LEDs lining the floor were so dim that they were useless. Was this a purposeful thing? How was this possible?

The cables and cords that had been visible from the outside were almost invisible in the somehow lower lighting of the portal tunnel, same with the unfinished wall panels on the floor. And, as a result of the hazardous mess on the floor and the near pitch dark, Danny tripped halfway through. His training didn’t let him fall, but his inability to keep up the rigorous schedule he’d been raised on made him reach out to steady himself on the wall.

Millimeters before his fingers so much as grazed the button he’d not been able to see after crossing the threshold, Danny heard the barely there whisper of “Time Out.” followed almost immediately by “Time in.” at the same volume.

Catching himself on the cold, softly glowing paneling of the wall, Danny was quick to straighten out and turn around. That thing gave him the creeps and he would much rather go back to reading his book, thank you.

“So, Dann-o?” Jack clapped his shoulder when he got back to them, “What’d ya think?”

Unable to disappoint the people he’d come to see as his parents, Danny plastered a smile on his face and said, “It’s pretty cool. I can’t wait to see what it looks like when it’s finished!”

Maddie cheered. “Right? As soon as it’s done, those assholes at Harvard will have to take us seriously!”

Danny seriously doubted they would. In fact, he doubted the portal would even work at all. It’s a hypothetical experiment that had the potential and huge likelihood of going catastrophically wrong. How much power would it take to even turn the thing on? Several city blocks at least, right? If that blows up, it'll take out not only their house, but probably half the city and everyone within the blast radius.

Danny should report this to somebody.

“That’s not even the best part!” Jack exclaimed, hurting over to what looked like an electrical box that had been set into the unfinished walls of the basement lab. Opening the small metal door revealed a hand scanner that Jack quickly placed his hand on. After five seconds, a small compartment just above the scanner opened up. Inside was a small glass phial of thick, glowing green liquid. Liquid that Danny recognised.

Shit.

“This is what’s gonna power the portal after the initial launch,” Jack explained, his voice reverent as he cradled the phial in his large hands, “Ectoplasm.”

Ecto-what? Danny knew that glowing liquid. He’d only seen it once, but he knew what it was. He could say, with full confidence and a puffed chest, that what his dad was currently holding was a phial of Lazarus Water. The color and consistency were the same as the Pits. The stuff even glowed like the Pit Water! It was terrifying that Danny had encountered any of the stuff this far from the Shadows, and he found himself taking several steps back toward Jazz.

“That’s, um, that’s-”

“Awesome, dad!” Jazz said for him, placing a hand on his shoulder and gently pulling him back. He was so glad she had because he was sure he was seconds away from freezing in place. “Danny’s getting tired, though, and I’m a bit hungry, so we’re gonna head back upstairs now. Is that alright?”

“Sounds great, sweetie,” Maddie waved the two off in a clear dismissal, “We’ll be up in a few minutes.”

Danny rushed up the stairs, waiting for Jazz in the kitchen. When she joined him she muttered, “Liar.” under her breath before closing the door. “So,” she said to Danny.

“So.” he repeated.

“What made you so freak out down there?” she asked, “Not that I blame you. That portal thing freaked me out, too.”

Danny shrugged. “Don’t wanna talk about it.”

“It’s not healthy to bottle things up, Danny.”

“I know, I just don’t want to talk about it right now,” Or ever. “Bad memories.”

Jazz’s expression softened. “Alright,” she nodded, “Do you want some chips?”

He shook his head. “No. I’m gonna go to my room.”

“You can’t hide in there forever!”

He was halfway up the stairs. “I can try!”

Translation 1 - Arabic :: I will always forgive you, brother. You were put in the worst possible situation and you did the best you could with the knowledge you had. You would have only jeopardized yourself if you went back.

Translation 2 - Arabic :: My best wasn't good enough. I knew you were still alive, yet I did nothing but spread the lie of your death.

Part 1 Part 3

#Tales of Conquest. Warnings of Fools #Letters Between Brothers #part 2 #word count: just over 5k #my writing #ao3 #ao3 writer #fanfic #dc x dp #ghouls and gang writing event 2024 #dpxdcbang2024 #g&g24

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jeonqkooks · 1 year ago

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our beloved summer | jjk (7.5) (m.)

You made a vow to hate Jeon Jungkook ever since he packed up and left you without a single explanation, but when he shows up at your door after years of radio silence, it turns out that maybe your resolve isn’t as strong as you thought.

pairing: producer!jungkook x songwriter!reader rating: 18+ (minors dni) genres/warnings: exes au, fluff, Angst, smut; THE REASON™️, crying because obviously there's gonna be crying, mentions of hobi leaving :(, cursing, uhm she hits him; kissing (well, of course 😂), br*ast play, t*tty s*cking, oral s*x (f. receiving), f*ngering, unprotected s*x, r*ding, cr*ampie, uhm idk i think that's it word count: 6.9k (poetic, i know) note (1): holy fucking shit i am literally shaking like a chihuahua as i'm writing this a/n. what the hell it's finally here. we've been waiting for this for almost a year and a half. TREMENDOUS thanks to Jo @daechwitatamic, Ari @/wintaerbaer (edited 2024: crossed out but not removed bc even tho she plagiarized obs afterward, she did beta this for me so i guess i still gotta give her that lmfao), and Jazz @jeonwiixard for beta-ing this for me and for reassuring me that it's not a load of crap (probably) and especially Jo for telling me if i back out she'll come kick me. frick! gaaaah. okay i'm gonna let you read or i'll go out of my mind

series masterpost / playlist ; moodboards ; taglist

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

I want you to smile, to feel like enough 'Cause you deserve yellow and lions and love I hope you come back when you're doing well Forgive me for being the worst of myself

New Recording 28 - Chelsea Cutler

The second the door is closed, his mouth is on yours again.

His hand on your waist, yours in his hair, it’s similar to how it was mere minutes ago, just the urgency has increased tenfold. You want his suit off as much as you want your dress on the floor.

Jungkook detaches from your lips to let you breathe as he cages you between his body and the door, but it’s not like you can focus very well on breathing when he starts kissing down your neck, sucking bruises into your skin. His hands travel south, one palm curving around your hips to grope your ass, the other settling on the back of your thigh to lift it up, opening your legs wider so he could better slot in between them. With your leg lifted, it makes the slit in your dress ride up, exposing your core to the cool air of the room. You can feel his growing bulge pressed against you, right over your panties.

You whimper his name when he sucks on the sweet spot on your neck, his hips grinding against you slowly.

“Yeah?” You can hear the smirk in that one simple word and the honey that drips from his voice. “What is it?”

“Want you…”

“I’m right here,” Jungkook says. His slender fingers rub you over the pink lace that you’re wearing underneath your dress, teasing your opening through the fabric for a few beats before he pushes your panties aside. “Fuck, you’re so wet.”

His breath is hot on your neck. He presses his lips against your skin absentmindedly, the tip of his index circling you but not pushing inside just yet.

“Tell me you want me too,” you pant, your arm hooking around his neck to hold him close.

“I want you.”

Truth.

You pull him in for another bruising kiss before you blindly push him further into the room, your hands roaming the broad expanse of his clothed chest. He stops when the back of his knees hit the bed.

“Hey.” Jungkook breaks away from the kiss to look at you. “Are you sure?”

If Jimin knew what you’re doing right now, he’d say that you have zero self preservation instincts.

He’d be right, though. If you had any self preservation instincts, you wouldn’t be doing this.

Your stupid, battered heart has only ever wanted him.

“I’m sure,” comes your immediate reply. It’s desperate, but you don’t have it in yourself to even care. “I’m sure. I want this. Please.”

“You were drinking.”

“I’m not drunk. I promise.”

Maybe it’d be better if you were drunk. Then you could at least blame this lapse of judgment on a pathetic state of inebriation and not on your stupid self who’s always weak for him.

He stares at you for a minute, searching for any sign of your willingness being driven by alcohol. He seems relieved when he finds none, and it isn’t until then that he shrugs off his jacket, before helping you take off his dress shirt and trousers.

You haven’t seen him like this in so long.

Every defined line on his body, accentuating every detail that you could spend hours running your fingers over.

He looks different but at the same time, not really. A tad more muscular, but still the same lean frame. Hard chest and abs on full display for you. God, your fingers are fucking twitching with the need to touch him.

Once he’s been stripped down to his boxers, he leans down to kiss you before you stop him with a hand on his chest. The lone tiger lily on his arm catches your attention.

Your fingers reach out to trace the black ink on his body, the lines delicate, your touch feather light. You’re suddenly curious. When did he get it? You can’t remember if you two ever talked about getting tattoos.

“What does it mean?” you ask. It strikes you with the realization that this is just one of the thousands of things that you missed, a reminder of your lost time.

“Please love me,” he says, bringing his hands up to cup your face. He looks at you, just for a few seconds, before clarifying, “It means ‘Please love me,’” then kissing you again.

Jungkook clumsily and blindly searches for the dress’ zipper on your back, giving it a few impatient tugs until it finally starts gliding down your body. Your lips never part from one another as the dress falls to the floor, pooling at your feet. But once you step out of it, he does pull back to look at you from head to toe. His eyes fall to your chest, clad in a lacy pink bra that matches your panties. The look he gives you is the same one that he did when he saw you in your dress earlier today. But there’s something else in his eyes - realization, pride, perhaps a question too.

His hands are back on your body instantly, throwing you onto the bed, crawling over you like a predator. He discards your bra with ease, flinging it to the floor with the rest of your clothes. You shiver when the chilly air meets your bare chest, but the sensation quickly goes away when he takes your breast into his warm mouth. You let out a delighted sigh, arching your back to push yourself further into him as his tongue flicks over your stiff nipple. One of his hands comes up to squeeze your other breast to make sure that it isn’t neglected, rolling your pebbled bud between his thumb and forefinger. He switches to sucking your other tit after a while, then pawing at the one he just had in his mouth.

“Jungkook,” you whine his name when he makes out with your tits for too long, because there’s somewhere else that desperately requires his immediate attention. “Need you…”

He releases your nipple with a wet pop, and he looks pleased with himself when he sees that they’re thoroughly glistening with his spit. “Sorry,” he says with a chuckle. “Didn’t mean to keep you waiting.” He starts making his way down your body, kissing every inch of your skin that’s on display for him, before you put a hand on his shoulder when his face gets close to your thighs.

“What are you doing?”

He looks up at you as his fingers ghost over the fabric of your panties. “Can I?”

You lick your lips, contemplating whether or not you have the patience to wait for him. But alas, you decide, “Okay.”

Jungkook makes quick work of sliding your underwear down your legs and letting it join the pile on the floor. Even in the dim light, he can see just how wet you are, practically glittering with arousal, looking so utterly inviting that it makes his mouth water. All of this, just for him.

He doesn’t waste another second, diving right into you to lick a stripe up your dripping folds. Swiftly burying two fingers into your heat, he doesn’t stop until he’s knuckles deep. Your lips part in a silent but delighted moan. You forgot how good he used to make you feel. Your fingers could never feel as good as his, not thick enough to stretch yourself open and not long enough to reach deep inside of you.

“Fuck,” you drawl, your eyes fluttering shut when the tip of his tongue meets your throbbing clit, teasing it until you’re practically grinding against his face. You thread a hand into his hair, gripping his dark locks until he’s groaning, sending blissful vibrations all throughout your body. The figure 8’s that his tongue draws on your clit sets you alight, sends you into a whole other dimension completely as pleasure courses through your veins.

“So good,” he mumbles. To you? To himself? You can’t tell, but that doesn’t really matter. “Still so good.”

You hear it, just how soaked you are, as he begins thrusting his digits in and out of you. He strokes your walls delicately with each press of his fingers, scissoring you open for what you know is to come.

His tongue dips into your entrance then, teases your dripping hole as you pant heavily,

Your legs close in on his head as the orgasm nears, but he keeps your thighs apart, firmly holding them open as he makes you unravel.

This is fucking unreal - Jungkook with his whole face tucked between your legs, desperate to make you come with his talented mouth. You never would have anticipated this when you woke up this morning.

No, just a while ago you were crying by yourself down at the beach. Now you’re crying out his name as he smothers himself in you.

Once he starts curling them inside of you, it’s embarrassing how fast you come. You clench hard around his fingers as the orgasm washes over you, dripping down his fingers and he uses the added wetness to carry you through the high.

“Jungkook…” you whimper, sounding completely fucked out even though it’s only just beginning. After a while, the heightened pleasure fades into the background, and he presses soft kisses against your inner thigh.

He crawls his way up your body until he’s facing you again. You watch his fingers and the way they’re coated in your juices, wondering what he’ll do with them next. Jungkook languidly smears the wetness all over your lips like he’s carefully painting them, only to kiss you afterward. When you moan against him, he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. Your hand finds its way into his boxers then, wrapping your fingers around his hardened length, pumping him in your fist until he’s shallowly rutting against you.

The kiss gets broken when he suddenly pulls away, realization dawning on him. “Shit,” he exclaims. “I don’t have a condom.”

“Oh.” You blink at him, then you both just look at each other for a while. This isn’t a problem with no solution, even if the solution is a disastrous one in hindsight. You just want him, so badly that you can’t think of anything else.

He waits for you, doesn’t dare say anything else until you do.

Yet again, the opportunity presents itself for you to stop.

But you’ve already gone this far, and though it’s damn near impossible, you want him even more than you did before.

“Are you clean?” you ask.

It’s evident that he’s surprised by the way his eyes widen, and his silence that follows for the next half a minute. “Yeah,” he tells you.

“Okay. Then we don’t need a condom.”

He says your name once, his fingers brushing your hair away from your face sweetly. You always did like your name best when it used to fall from his lips so softly. “Are you sure?” he asks.

“I’m sure. I promise.”

Jungkook sucks in a breath, like he’s steadying himself, before he rids himself of the remaining piece of clothing on his body, then settles between your legs again. This time, his cock rests directly on your bare pussy. The anticipation makes it harder for you to breathe, makes you squeeze your thighs around his waist to not let him leave.

“How long has it been?”

Your answer is vague. “Too long,” you say. You don’t want to tell him that there’s been no one else since him, but you have a feeling that he understands it anyway. You think that he’d be pleased with your answer, that maybe it would boost his ego in a way, but there’s only a certain sadness that settles in his eyes.

“Okay.” Regardless, he pushes past the sudden gloom that befalls his features, blinking away the disheartenment swimming in his irises, to align himself with your entrance. He rubs his cock against your pussy to coat you in his precum, even though you yourself are certainly more than wet enough for him to slide home easily. “Ready?”

“Yes,” you confirm, bracing your hands on his shoulders as he eases the tip into you, making the both of you moan at the contact. You feel him, all of him.

For a second, you wonder if he has ever forgone protection with anyone else, or if it’s only ever been just you.

Jungkook takes one of your hands off his shoulder to lay it flat on the bed next to your head, lacing your fingers together, giving your hand a slight squeeze. “Breathe. You can do it.”

“Give me a minute.”

“We’ve got time,” he says, his voice smooth like velvet.

“Can you kiss me?” you ask, almost like you’re shy even though he’s balls deep inside of you.

He chuckles lightly, so endeared by you and your silly question.

His lips meet yours sweetly, like doing so would help make the stretch less painful. Maybe it does, at least a little bit.

You can feel his cock throbbing inside of you, and he’s probably trying so hard to hold back, but he keeps kissing you nonetheless.

“You can move,” you say after a while.

“I’ll go slow, okay?”

“Okay.”

He rears his hips back, slowly, then thrusts forward again. You whimper from the slight burn, but it’s nothing you can’t handle. His movements are gentle for the next couple of minutes or so, and it isn’t until you start opening up more that he sets a steadier pace. Even when he starts to fuck you faster, one of his hands is still on your hips, rubbing your skin soothingly.

“Fuck,” Jungkook grunts out, followed by a sigh of your name as he pumps into your cunt, every ridge and vein of his cock dragging deliciously in and out of your walls. “You feel so good.”

He gazes down at you as he moves, and there’s just something so intimate about it that it makes you want to cry again.

You know what it’s like to have him fuck you, and this isn’t it.

No, this is something else entirely.

I love you, you think. I love you so fucking much.

“Missed you.” His words come out hushed, caught in half a moan, half a whimper. “Missed you so fucking much.”

“Did you think about me?”

“Always,” he says, without even missing a beat.

“No,” you clarify. “When you were sleeping with other people, did you think about me?”

“I only thought about you.” His hips stutter as he tells you this, like he’s confessing to something that he shouldn’t. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

You never admitted this to anyone, not even Taehyung even though he probably sensed it, but you used to feel like you could be physically sick just looking at the photos on his feed every time you’d lurk on a drunken night. They were never flashy, just subtle enough for you to know that there was someone. It made you nauseous, because the place next to him was always supposed to be yours.

You just stare at him, not knowing how to process this bit of information. Sure, it’s an ego boost. There’s some pride in knowing that you were the one on his mind even if you weren’t together.

He’s so utterly gorgeous like this that you can’t form a single coherent thought, too lost in the way his eyes bore into yours and in the blossoming warmth that spreads all over your chest from hearing his words.

How did he manage to get even more beautiful? Sculpted by the gods. The standard for all men.

“What is it?” he asks when you stare at him for too long.

“I…” You blink away the daze. “I wanna be on top.”

“Okay.”

Jungkook slips out of you just long enough to get seated with his back against the headboard and pull you into his lap. You hover over him, letting his tip rub against your dripping hole for a moment before you sink onto him. You tip your head back and sigh as you envelope him fully again, the only difference is that you can feel him so much deeper like this.

He grabs your ass with both hands, kneading your skin as he helps you ride him. The sounds that you make together are downright obscene, bouncing off the walls, ringing in your ears.

“Harder,” you tell him shakily. “Don’t wanna hurt you.”

“I want it to hurt,” you say, holding onto him like you’re bracing for impact, because you know he’ll give you what you want. “Make it hurt.”

Jungkook sighs once, then digs his heels into the mattress to steady himself before his hips go wild, thrusting into you with such force that it nearly has you sobbing, your head falling onto his shoulder. It makes you burn with pleasure, like a star before it becomes a supernova. When the tension starts building quickly, you can’t help but slam your hips down harder to meet his thrusts, to chase that high.

You press your lips against his skin, any spot you could find - his jaw, his neck, his shoulder. “Tell me you love me.”

The words are ready on the tip of his tongue, like he’s been waiting for an opportunity to say it. He doesn’t miss a single beat as he tells you, “I love you.”

“Mean it.”

“I do mean it. I love you.”

Truth.

For some sick and twisted reason, his words send you crashing over the edge, falling into that abyss of pleasure that you’ve been searching for. You say his name, over and over again, like you’re making up for all the years that he wasn’t around to hear it.

Your walls convulse wildly around him as you cry out, your toes curling, your thighs shaking. He holds you close, thrusting into you through your orgasm until you’re dizzy, like you could actually pass out from the overwhelming bliss.

“I’m close,” he tells you in a raspy voice.

You catch your breath long enough to say, “Come for me.”

“Where do you want it?”

“Inside,” you say without much thought. If you were in a clearer state of mind, you would know that it’s reckless and stupid. You’re not on birth control, and if anything were to happen, you would have no one to blame but yourself.

But you aren’t in a clear state of mind, and maybe this is even more dangerous than if you were fueled by alcohol. At least you can sober up from alcohol.

You just want him so badly that rationality seems like a luxury you can’t afford right now.

“Y/N,” he whispers shakily, though there’s a warning edge to his voice that you understand.

“I want you to come inside me. I want it. I want it so bad. Please.”

Jungkook groans at your answer.

He doesn’t ask you to look at him, instead choosing to hide his face against your neck where you feel something wet glide down your skin as he grips your hips. It’s followed by a sniffle, and hands that hold onto you like you’re a lifeline.

He’s crying, and that breaks your fucking heart.

You don’t know what to do. Part of you wants to tilt his chin up to look at you, because it feels strange without his tender gaze on you, but you decide against it even though the tips of your fingers tingle with the need to do so.

Your walls clench with purpose, squeezing around him, trying to help you get there. It’s not that long before you hear your name falling from his lips in a choked out moan, so needy and beautiful and makes you nostalgic. He empties himself inside of you, making you shudder from the sudden warmth that he paints along your walls.

You stay in the same position for a few more minutes until your chest is no longer heaving with exhaustion and euphoria. He gently pulls you off his lap to lay you down on the bed, pressing an apologetic kiss against your bare shoulder when you wince from the oversensitivity, from any kind of movement at all.

When he moves to throw on his boxers and goes to stand up, you reach for him. “Where are you going?” You instantly feel pathetic for asking.

He pauses, then squeezes your hand as that sadness from before makes an appearance in his eyes again. “I’m just going to the bathroom,” he tells you, his voice quiet.

The relief on your face must be visible. “Okay,” you say. Rationally, you know he probably wouldn’t fuck you and leave you the second the deed is done. But again, rationality is a luxury at the moment.

Jungkook returns a couple of minutes later with a warm cloth, and dabs it between your legs to clean you up. You grimace when he touches you there, evidently sore already from the activities you just engaged in.

“Sorry,” he’s quick to say, though it isn’t really his fault. Or maybe it is his fault. You’re not sure if that even matters.

When he’s done, he gets under the covers with you. “Come here,” he says, then shuffles your body closer to his until he’s holding you with his hands on your bare waist. He leans down to kiss you, and you let him. God, you feel like you’re fucking melting.

It’s different from the kiss down at the beach, and it’s different from the needy ones you shared in the past hour. It’s soft and slow and easy, like there’s nothing for you to worry your pretty little head about.

Jungkook breaks away eventually, and rests his forehead against yours then. One of his hands on your waist slides up to your ribs, until his thumb could brush the underside of your breast. The touch is gentle, sweet, completely innocent.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers. He means everything he tells you. “You’re perfect.”

You even blush, like you’re a stupid lovesick teenager. “Tell me,” you say.

“Anything.”

You reckon it’s self-indulgent at this point. You’re only asking to feel better about your place in his life, or rather, the place that used to be yours.

“Tell me you can’t live without me.”

He nudges his nose against yours. No hesitation. “I can’t live without you.”

Truth. You know it’s the truth.

Nonetheless… “Liar.” Your tone is soft. There’s no bite at all. You touch his face, trying to commit to memory every detail, how his soft skin feels under your touch as if it’s the last time you’ll ever get to see him like this. Maybe it is. You never got to have a last time with him, never got to know that it was ending before it already ended. You’re not thinking about the morning because you don’t want to, but the seed of anxiety is there in your belly. Your fingers trace his jawline as you say, “You lived without me. You were doing fine without me.”

His lips ghost over your cheek. “It wasn’t much of a life,” he says. “I couldn’t bear it without you.”

The thing is, you know that he’s being honest. And it should make you feel good that you affected him as much as he affected you.

But then… it keeps leading you back to that question. The question that you thought you could go the rest of your life without knowing the answer to. But for that to be possible, you needed him to stay gone, stay out of your world forever.

He shouldn’t be here, tangled up in the sheets with you and kissing you like his life depends on it.

He shouldn’t tell you that he misses you, that he loves you. Shouldn’t tell you to please, love him too.

It’s contradictory, isn’t it? You needed to never see him again if you stood a chance of moving on with your life. You needed it and yet, all you wanted was to have him back by your side.

The tattoo catches your attention again. It feels like it’s laughing at you, mocking you.

You clench your teeth once, your eyes beginning to turn glassy. Jungkook sees it, and he’s quick to break up your train of thought. He presses his mouth to yours, shushing you with a deep kiss that makes your head spin, despite it all.

“Don’t think about it,” he mumbles against your lips, so desperate to get you to stop. As if he can sense where this could lead.

“How could I not? I don’t know who you are anymore.”

“You know me.” He holds onto your wrist, to keep your hand on his face before you can pull it away. “I’m still the same.”

“No, you’re not,” you say quietly, absentmindedly.

“Yes,” he insists. “Yes, I am.”

Maybe that’s true. Maybe you do see the person you used to know. But you only ever see him in glimpses and it always leaves you with a terrible, nauseous feeling afterward.

He doesn’t understand how much it hurts you to catch glimpses of the boy you used to love - the boy you still love - only to realize that maybe that isn’t the person he wants to be anymore. It feels like he keeps trying to kill that version of himself, like he despises the person who meant the world to you.

Are you gone forever?

Come back quietly.

“How old are you?” you ask after a moment.

The question makes him pause, his soft features twisting in confusion. He leans back a bit, so his eyes could focus on your face better.

“What?”

“How old are you?” you repeat.

It takes him another while to answer as he tries to see where you’re going with this. But when his search comes up empty, he just answers, “29.”

"I don't know who you are at 29. The last time I knew you was 24. No. You hadn't even turned 24 yet. Where was 25? 26? 27? 28? It’s unfair that you still know who I am when I don't know who you are. I feel like I never aged a day past 24. You carried on living but I'm still here."

His eyes well up once again, but this time, you can see it. The first tear spills over, lands somewhere on your collarbone. This is what you used to want, right? To see him hurting, just like how you were hurting? Well, be careful what you wish for.

No part of you feels victorious that you’re making him cry, that the score is finally being settled, because none of this undoes all of the shit you had to go through. If anything, it makes you feel even worse, like you’re still losing.

“I never moved on from us. I couldn’t move on from you,” he says, voice cracking toward the end. Your heart is doing the same thing in your chest, but you’re glad that he can’t see it. “I swear I miss you every day. I wanted you with me every day. You have no idea how much I wanted to come back to you.”

Jungkook looks so dejected, like a reflection of you these past few years. You recognize that look in his eyes. You know that sadness all too well. He was in as much pain as you were.

He loved you when he left you. He still loves you even after all this time.

You inhale shakily. For the first time, you feel infinitely selfish for only focusing on your own misery without even stopping to give him the benefit of the doubt, to consider the possibility that maybe letting you go wasn’t something he wanted. Maybe he isn’t the antagonist that you spent years making him out to be.

There’s more to it, and you need to know.

“Then why did you leave me?”

Graduation was just shy of a month ago, and two weeks before that was Hoseok’s flight when he left you all behind.

You and Jungkook, along with Taehyung and Jimin had gone to see him off at the airport. Of course you did, you were his best of friends after all. The goodbye was full of jokes accompanied by sniffles, and tears that overflowed without permission because you all agreed that you would hold yourself together for Hoseok. Jimin was probably the one who cried the most, even though inside, you were equally sad to see your friend leave.

A part of your life was ending, and that in and of itself was depressing enough already, but you thought at least the whole group would still be together and start the next chapter by each other’s side.

Nonetheless, it wasn’t the end of the world. All of you could still make it work, even if it wasn’t the most ideal of situations. You promised to keep in touch, promised to message the group chat every day and have video calls every weekend. You were still kids, and kids tend to be optimistic like that.

What none of you could see coming was how everything would fall apart in a matter of mere weeks.

Jungkook thinks that decades from now, when he’s old and gray and helpless, he still won’t be able to forget that day.

He should’ve been more concerned when your mother contacted him out of nowhere, asking him to meet with her, asking him not to let you know where he was going.

He’d shown up half an hour early to the cafe where they were supposed to meet, just because he didn’t want to risk being late and have your mother disapprove of him even more. Not once had she expressed anything other than disdain toward your relationship, but you’d always told him it didn’t matter, that you were the only person who could decide what to do with your life, not anyone else, let alone your mother. He always believed you back then, even if deep down, he still wanted her to see that he was enough for you. Her unattainable approval still mattered to him.

Jungkook spent thirty whole minutes running on nothing but anxiety and caffeine. That was probably his first mistake, ordering a cup of coffee which only made him more nervous than he already was.

When your mother arrived, it barely took her any time at all to get right into what she came here to say. She hadn’t even bothered with a drink.

Was that how it was always going to end? Should he have seen it coming from the beginning? Was he the only one who thought it would be you and him all the way until the very end?

Maybe he was more of a hopeless romantic than he thought.

It was the way she had called him a phase that she hoped you’d grow out of. That she had let you keep this relationship for long enough, but now that you’d graduated - now that you’d be starting a life for yourself - she couldn’t sit back and watch you throw it all away for a boy who could never give you what you deserved.

It was the way she told him she didn’t want history to repeat itself. How she didn’t want to subject you to the same fate that she and your father had to suffer through. How she had left your dad because in the end, he wasn’t enough for her and you, even though you were a child and you deserved to grow up with a father and with love.

She said the same thing would happen to you and Jungkook, because you were meant for greater things and he was not meant to deserve you. She made it clear that he would always hold you back, that he would never amount to even a fraction of what you should receive in life.

“If you love her, you would let her go.”

Cliché, right? Like the kind of stuff you only ever see in movies? Well, movies have to take inspiration from somewhere.

He thought about his own mother then, and about how people could have such different ways of showing love. He believed that your mother loved you, and he still believes that. She wouldn’t have gone through the trouble of seeing him if she didn’t care about you. She wanted the best for you, and that wasn’t him.

She didn’t have to tell him to keep it a secret from you, because he wouldn’t have told you regardless. He was well aware of how strained your relationship with your mother was, and letting you know would only drive it closer to the edge. She knew he wouldn’t tell you. He loved you, and that was the one thing that she could count on.

Just sitting there in that café, Jungkook felt like all of the air had been sucked out of the room, even though he was surrounded by the other patrons and their lively laughter as they chatted away. The pitiful way that your mother kept looking at him forced him to learn what it was like to feel truly worthless.

The pity in her eyes only intensified when he couldn’t even say a single word in response, couldn’t think of anything to defend himself.

Silence meant agreement, and that was what he chose. Jungkook - the naive boy that he was - stopped believing in you. He’d believed her instead.

He was just a kid, what else was he supposed to do?

She was your own flesh and blood, and he knew nothing could ever replace that. He would rather let you hate him, resent him for the rest of your life, than let you lose your family.

That day, he lied to you for the first time ever, saying he couldn’t come over because he was tired. The sunflowers he bought for you just hours prior ended up dying on his windowsill.

He wouldn’t see you again for a few more days, then for months afterward.

July was supposed to represent a blossoming summer, but all he could remember was the dreadful promise of a winter that would inevitably come.

You call his name when he takes too long to answer. “Tell me.”

“I love you,” he merely says. His hand brushes your cheek.

You frown, despite the way the three words make your chest tingle.

“I love you,” he says it again, trying to ease the furrow between your brows.

“That’s not what I asked.”

“I’m sorry.”

His voice is soft, barely even audible, but it’s this gentleness that makes his words ricochet, ringing in your ears loudly like a gun going off in the quiet of your room.

Again with the apologies.

Fuck this.

It’s hard to take it to heart when you don’t even know what he’s apologizing for.

You gave Jungkook the chance to explain himself, but if he doesn’t take it, then that’s not on you. There isn’t much else that you can do.

You swallow hard, then shove him off of you so you could get out of the bed. Your legs instantly tremble as you attempt to stand, but you soldier on as you put on your bra and underwear, then grab your dress from where it lays abandoned on the floor. You’re shaking, but it’s difficult to determine if it’s because you’re angry, or cold without his warmth nearby.

He’s quick to his feet too, rushing toward you before you could leave.

“Don’t touch me,” you hiss when he reaches for your arm. He doesn’t listen, because when has Jeon Jungkook ever fucking listened?

“Y/N, wait-”

“Wait for what?! I asked you a simple question and you can’t even answer me.”

He runs a hand over his face frustratedly, clearly torn over something. He holds your angered gaze, but the way he looks at you is much milder, gentler even if it’s equally frustrated. “I’m trying to protect you.”

You don’t know if it’s the wrong answer or not. You just know that in this moment, it irritates you to no end.

“Oh my god,” you gasp mockingly. “Someone is trying to kill me.”

“What?”

“Someone is trying to kill me. Someone is waiting outside that door right now, waiting for me to come out so they can kill me. Holy fucking shit, I’m about to be assassinated.”

“Y/N, I’m serious.”

There’s that burning sensation behind your eyes again. “And you think I’m not? What do you mean you’re trying to protect me? Protect me from what? Do you think this is a fucking k-drama? Jesus Christ,” you scoff harshly. “What do you want from me? What the actual fuck do you want?”

Jungkook aims for you again, and in an attempt to ward him off, your swinging fist inadvertently collides with his chest. The dress falls to the floor again, laying next to your feet, that useless piece of fabric.

It probably doesn’t do much damage to him, but he’s a bit startled regardless. So are you, if you’re being honest. But you do it again, and surprisingly, he lets you.

“You coward.” You shove hard at his chest, making him stumble backward. “You unbelievable asshole. You fucked me, you said you loved me, and you still can’t tell me why you left me.”

He allows you to push him until his back is pressed against the wall. And even then, you don’t relent. Your fists continue beating against his chest as you start sobbing, spilling ‘I hate you’s in between so many expletives it could make his grandmother faint.

He might bruise in the morning.

You hope he bruises in the morning.

The least Jungkook could do is bruise for you.

You want him to curse him out for so many things - for loving you, for leaving you, for not even having the balls to tell you why he broke your heart. For coming back to remind you that you still love him. For proving that he still has you in the palm of his hands, and every twitch of his finger can make you feel like the walls are crumbling down on you.

But even as you tell him how much you hate him, you’re still thinking: Come back. I don’t want to keep losing you. Come back to me.

Because he’s the only person who can hurt you like this. When you think about him, it used to make you so depressed that you could hardly function. There’s no other way to put it to make it sound less pathetic. That’s just how it is.

You shouldn’t have agreed to this weekend, shouldn’t have been nice to him, shouldn’t have let him convince you not to think about it. You shouldn’t have opened the door for him in the first place, because there was always a part of you that knew he could get under your skin so easily just like that.

This wasn’t your second chance at holding onto him. It wasn’t a do-over. It was a re-enactment.

The years haven’t made you wiser, that much is clear.

You don’t know how long this goes on for, but at some point, you begin to wear yourself out. Your movements start to slow and the energy to violently sob leaves your body until you’re nearly collapsing. Jungkook catches you when you don’t have the strength to hold yourself up anymore. Why are you always so fucking helpless?

“You just…” Your voice gets caught at the end of a sob. This is rock bottom all over again. “You make me so sad.”

You grasp his arm weakly, feeling like your own lungs are failing you. You can’t breathe. It’s too much, too infinitely humiliating. He’s doing this to you again, and this time you have to shoulder most of the blame, because you are the one that enabled your own heartbreak for the second time.

You’re still crying, and you hate that this is the first time he’s ever seen you cry like this.

“I’m trying to protect you,” he says firmly, looking at you like he’s trying so hard not to break down alongside you. “Please, I’m so sorry.” The words come out as a whisper now. You can feel the tremble in his voice and the shake of his hands where they hold you. His big bambi eyes - the usual home of constellations - now house tears that threaten to spill onto his supple cheeks. “Please. What can I do to make you believe me?”

It’s those stupid fucking eyes. It’s your stupid fucking self.

“You need to tell me.” Your tears keep on falling no matter how much he tries to wipe them away. “I can’t take it anymore.”

“It’ll make things worse,” he tells you, his voice cracking as he does. He sounds like he means it, and maybe he does believe that whatever he’s hiding from you will only hurt you more. It almost has you caving, but you can’t do this a second time. You’re exhausted, both physically and emotionally. In the morning, you’ll think about how this is all so dramatic, the way you’re acting right now. The most k-drama-esque thing that has ever happened to you. But in the moment, you just feel like someone plunged a knife in your chest, and they keep twisting it, twisting and twisting,...

In the end, you decide that it’s a risk you’ll have to take, because nothing can be more painful than the absolute hell he’s putting you through. He’ll never understand how utterly excruciating it is to experience this kind of heartbreak.

“If you don’t tell me now, I won’t be able to survive you again.”

up next...

our beloved summer (08) ⏤ aka the JK centric chapter

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helluvabun · 10 months ago

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Lucifer xreader?

authors note: Inspired by a comment :) um, learning I really like writing nothing burgers but I'm pretty happy with this one...

Lucifer and Alastor argue over you

TW: mentions of a sibling? idk if thats a trigger

Alastor had really done it this time. You knew he wasn’t the most genuine of friends, aware he was just being nice for personal gain. But as time went on and you and he settled into the gentle routine of quiet afternoon teas listening to jazz in his half-open bedroom under the stars, you allowed yourself to believe maybe he enjoyed your companionship. Then you lay in bed, crying over finding out your sibling ended up in hell, and he had the audacity to offer you a deal. Not even a good deal: he’d get them to the hotel in exchange for your soul. You yelled at him angrily and stormed down to the bar, face still puffy from your sobs. You demanded the strongest thing on hand from Husk before burying your hands in your arms. He poured you a double shot with a small smile.

Lucifer entered the empty bar and walked over to you. He stood quietly, waiting for you to acknowledge his presence. Eventually, he spoke, his voice barely a murmur. "I heard what happened."

You hastily wiped your eyes, looking up at him with a nervous smile. "What? How?"

"Everyone heard what happened… you weren’t exactly quiet, kiddo," he sighed gently, taking a seat on the stool beside you. "I already sent Maggie to retrieve the new sinner, so don’t worry your head about that, okay?"

You nodded silently at the information, taking another sip from your glass. You didn't know what to do; you were still so angry, but you didn't want to yell at Lucifer too, even though you wanted to yell at everyone and anything that could hear. His presence somehow seemed more comforting than the empty stool that was next to you just a few seconds ago.

Lucifer stayed silent for a moment, thinking of what to say next. He cleared his throat slightly before speaking in a soft voice, "I'm sorry about what happened with Alastor. He was never the most trustworthy demon." He leaned back against the bar and sipped his drink. "But I promise you that I will do everything in my power to ensure that your sibling is well taken care of at the hotel. And don't worry, I won't ask you to give up your soul in exchange."

You smiled softly and turned to thank him, but as soon as you opened your mouth to speak, you were interrupted by the voice you least wanted to hear.

"I don't recall being untrustworthy." You almost jumped out of your skin. After all this time, you’re still not used to him appearing randomly behind you. "At the very least, I can be trusted to uphold my end of the bargain. No need to vilify me."

"Oh really? Because I seem to remember you agreeing to take this poor sinner’s soul in exchange for getting their sibling to the hotel! Isn’t that right, Alastor dear?" The devil spoke up, a playful yet firm edge to his voice, his expression remaining steady.

"I don’t remember this deal involving you," Alastor said pointedly, placing a hand possessively on your shoulder, ignoring your stiffening under his touch. "Can we discuss this matter upstairs, my dear? This really should stay a matter between two friends."

"We were having a conversation, and I think it’s rather clear she’d rather continue that than leave with you," Lucifer interjected.

Alastor, with a wide grin that can only be described as predatory in context, slowly slid his hand off you, a slight shiver running down your spine. Lucifer's eyes turned cold, and his smile disappeared, a chilling silence filling the air. Lucifer slowly stood from the stool and looked directly at Alastor with an angry expression. Alastor stared back with a calm and confident expression, not backing down from the argument.

"Come with me, my dear. This was just a misunderstanding we can get through."

"You think she would ever choose you over me?" The King laughed. "Even if she could forgive you for your actions, she'd rather be with someone whose heart isn't filled with hatred and fear. Someone who wouldn't use her for their own gain. Someone like me."

"Are you really going to side with him? You know as well as I that Lucifer is nothing more than a deceitful, tyrannical tyrant that cares nothing for the soul of a mere sinner. Now please take my hand and let's discuss this upstairs, shall we?" He didn’t give you a choice, grabbing your hand and pulling you gently. Lucifer grabbed your other hand to hold you in place. You were in a very awkward position now, caught between a rock and a hard place. Lucifer and Alastor continued to bicker. Their voices were becoming louder and louder with each passing moment. You wished they would just shut up and leave you alone for a few seconds.

Lucifer seemed to be the only one who wanted to do the right thing for you without expecting anything in return. And you know what? He's right. Alastor is untrustworthy, manipulative, and cruel. You're so glad he's on your side.

"Will you two just shut up!" you finally said loudly, causing both of them to stop mid-sentence. "You two can’t just argue over me like I’m the last piece of pizza. Alastor, I don’t want to go with you."

"Well, you heard the girl! She doesn’t want to go with me! And since she doesn’t value me as a friend, I’ll be on my way," Alastor said, his tone unreadable, smiling broadly at Lucifer before turning to leave.

Lucifer's grip on your hand tightened a bit as he watched Alastor walk out the door. He let out a long exhale and looked at you with a soft expression.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly, his voice full of concern. You nodded silently, feeling relieved that the confrontation was over.

The Devil smiled warmly at you before releasing your hand. "Would you like to stay for another drink? On the house, of course."

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ioveartfilm · 10 months ago

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Summary You were the brightest star of all. You shine too brightly upon others without you knowing. What you didn’t know is that stars tended to be bright before they shut down.

Genre Drama, Romance.

Additional Content Major Death, Violence, Mentions of Sex, Mature Content, One shot.

Pairing Gojou Satoru x Fem! Reader

He is taken back by your stunning reflection, the way your crimson dress envelopes your figure as if it was tailored for you. He can’t resist lacing his arms around your waist, breathing in close to your neck, hoping to savor your scent a little longer. The fabric accentuates your body splendidly. No wonder a great crowd gathers to witness your performance. You may be theirs for the night, but once you stepped out of that stage you were his. He plants a line of kisses down your neck tightening his embrace, getting lost on your soft skin. Before he can go any further, you extricate yourself from his hold to meet his longing gaze.

“I suppose you liked the dress.” You claimed with a light chuckle.

“Is it too obvious?” He responds placing both of his hands on your hips, clearly unable to keep his hands off you. “Allow me to be selfish for a few seconds. I want to hold you in my arms a little longer before you ascend to that stage. I have countless time seen you perform through I don’t think I will ever get used to see those starving for you.”

“Let them watch. Let them appreciate the sight. Little do they know, a man has already captured my heart. The only one who comprehends my heart and soul like a well-read book.”

A caress down your face sent a spark running down your body with anticipation. “Beauty with a honest heart and deep soul. How can I ever ask for more?”

You laughed at this. “You sweet talker. Save your compliments for later. I must get going.” He leans down to lock lips with you, savoring the taste of your redden lips. You gently pushed me away once you felt his tongue pleading entrance.

“Are you doing this on purpose? Ruining my makeup to held me up?” He could only smiled carefree disarming your comment his lips carrying the trace of your lipstick.

“Forgive my love, I’m afraid I won’t make it through the night without tasting your lips.” You shake your head with a smile playing on your lips in response to his heartfelt confession.

“I really need to go.” Eventually he retreat himself from you his hands aching for your touch already.

“Leave them breathless, my dear. Paint this place with the hues of your grace.” He exhales every words carrying great emotion with a gaze brimming with genuine affection solely for you.

The overall ambience welcomes you with open arms with music wafting through the air, a courtesy of a lively band playing jazz. It’s glamorous surroundings blind your eyesight with its golden brilliance. The rhythmic tap of heels underscores the lively energy from the sweethearts dancing along with the melody. The sound of clinking of glasses, murmurs of distinctive conversations of the gentlemen being witnesses of the display invaded your ears as you walked further into the nightclub. Eventually you found yourself poised before the opulent bar working the confines of the club. Greeted by a man in a tailored white shirt and suspenders, acknowledging you with a insightful smile. The mixed scent of different liquors hit your nostrils as you settled down upon the barstool.

“Which whom I’m having the pleasure of serving tonight?” The bartender interject holding eye contact with you, almost like he was hypnotized by your demeanor. Fixing your posture you reciprocate his gesture with a kind smile.

“(Y/N) (L/N).” You present yourself, extending your right hand which he respond your mannerism by delicately placing a kiss on the back of your hand.

“My pleasure. It will be a honor to serve you on this beloved night. What would you like to indulge in first?”

You raised an eyebrow, your expression brimming with amusement. “Aren’t you going tell me your name?”

The bartender chuckles lightly upon hearing your comment offering a polite grin. “Pardon me, Ma’am. My name is not such of importance, though if you wish to know then I have not option but do so.”

“Satoru Gojo. Pleased to make acquaintances with you, Ma’am.”

“Oh please, darling. Just call me. (Y/N). I’m new in town and I’m afraid I’m unfamiliar with everything. I came across with this club while I was passing by, contemplating if I should just have a moment for myself with a nice drink.” You confess freely.

“Apparently I have done a great decision. The ambience, the music, it’s lively show. I’m delighted by everything.” You exhale a sigh, accompanied by a smile.

“That’s explains why I haven’t seen such a gracious face before. You see, I grew here and I’m aware of everyone around here. Believe me, I wouldn’t have forgotten a face like yours.” Satoru articulated smoothly gaining a flustered smile a laugh leaving your parting lips.

“My. Do you say that to every new face you encounter?”

“You’re the first, dearest.”

You laugh, a hand discreetly veiling your mouth at his complaints. “I found that hard to believe. I will like to have a Daiquiri, please.” The nights unfolds smoothly from there as you engaged with the dashing bartender, effortlessly traversing through a myriad of topics. Every single one possible.

“A showgirl?”

You nodded caressing the edges of your empty glass. “Yes, I used to be a showgirl back at New Orleans. I have retired for some time.”

“Why so?” He can’t help but inquired more into the matter.

“I guess I wanted to wander around see what’s out there for me.”

“And what have you found so far?”

“Well,” You replied. “I have found for starters a mesmerizing night with a striking man of resplendent white and piercing blue eyes.”

“If I’m being honest.” You continued. “You possess great beauty to be wasted behind a bar. It should presented on the big silver screen.” You only spoke the truth, his allure was unparalleled with breathtaking features that leaves an indelible imprint on those who beheld him. His eyes widened slightly in response to your words leaning in closer supporting himself on his elbows against the bar table until both of your faces where inches away.

“I should been the one saying that.” He says with a sudden change of demeanor making you want to lower your gaze at the intensity in his clear eyes. “Your skin emanates a radiant glow, your hands boast a delicate texture, your fragrance that carries the essence of a blooming spring. Your white dress that embrace your body right, with its silver components making you shine with your beautiful smile. Your face bears flawless features, unlike any other woman I have encountered. And your lips…your lips. Adorned with a dashing red hue, with their softness that is visible even from here.” He trails off, genuine admiration painted in every word he said.

The next thing you knew, you find yourself in the backseat of his car fervently melding your lips with his like tomorrow won’t arrive. The windows gradually obscured, veiled by the warmth of your combined breaths. His touch becomes an intoxicating stimulus, propelling you both into a passionate entanglement within the confined space of the car. You emit a moan against his lips, clutching his shoulders while the burning sensation run down your body as your back collides with the seat beneath you. His ardent thrusts hit you driven by an urgent need for mutual pleasure. All you can do is surrender to his affections, vocalizing his name in impassioned cries.

“I find it hard to believe you’ve only shared kisses with a select few.” He remarks with hint of disbelief lingering in his voice. You shrug nonchalantly at his surprise.

“Honored that you are on that list?”

“I will be more honored if that I’m the last one on the list.” He express genuinely his touch trailing down your naked back.

Elevating your gaze you inquired, your curiosity getting the best of you with a subtle hint of playfulness. “How many women have you kissed?”

“Not many.” You trace his chest with your fingertips feeling his smooth skin.

“Are you lying to me?”

He shakes his head in response. “Now, why would I lie?”

“Perhaps you’ve already shared kisses with a thousand women.” His hand made contact with the side of your face once you finish your statement.

“Now why would I engage with a thousand women? Why would I kiss that much women considering my limited interactions, where only a select few have succeeded on trapping me. Holding me captive with their displays of affection?”

The round of applause reverberates through the air, signaling the end of your performance while music gradually fades away. Extending your gratitude to your loyal audience, your gaze drifting away towards the very back of the club where the bar is situated. In that brief moment like time stopped, you contemplate the face that holds a special place in your heart.

“Are you sure?” Satoru asks you, a frown drawn on his face. Your trembling hands clutch the pregnancy test before present it to him, fearing the worst. The last thing you expected was Satoru’s change of faces replaced by a wide smile his orbs shinning upon learning the news.

“I will work hard at the bar, if possible I will take more part time jobs. I won’t leave you alone in this matter.”

“Miss (Y/N). Someone required your presence for a brief moment.” You were soon informed by staff that someone will like to have your presence for whatever reason. Stepping out of your room, your eyes wandered around the club until your eyes landed on a man in a well-tailored suit. A dark fabric excusing an intimidating aura along with a knotted tie, polished leather shoes and finally a shiny diamond lacing around his forefinger. His posture plus his predatory eyes were ready to eat you alive. His presence makes you unease though you had no option but walked over as he calls you over to his table.

“My. I’m honored, The famous miss (Y/N) agreed to meet me after her performance. I’m sure you’re tired, though grant this man a moment with you. Who he went all his way down here to only see you perform.” Fixing your unease demeanor, you nods at his words with a charismatic smile, taking a seat before him.

“I’m pleasured to hear you only come to the club to see me perform. It brings me great joy.” He took your hand on his, kissing your gloved hand while applying an uncomfortable tight pressure.

“It brings me great joy” He remarks. “To share this moment with you. The club will be nothing without your presence gracing us.” He speaks and you could swear his eyes deepened in hue. “Enlighten me what would it take for me to spend a night with you?”

“What?” You displayed surprised, hoping you had misheard his words. His grasp intensified eliciting a sharp intake of breath, his action making you hiss in pain.

“Come on, sweetheart. Stop playing hard to get.” He urged, a playful glint in his eyes. You rose instantly from your seat, yanking away your hand from his grasp.

“I kindly ask you to leave. Your behavior is inappropriate.” A dark chuckle escapes him, rising to his feet as well, fixing his menacing gaze on you.

His voice drips with disdain as he utters, “You whores always playing hard to get. Tell me how much money you want? I can give you more than you earn in this shitty club.” You scoffed in disbelief and visibly disgust by his presence ready to leave. Before you could do that, he grabs your forearm roughly pulling you back.

“Let me go—!” You feel yourself being freed when Satoru was already at your side as he forcefully distanced the man from you with a push.

“Sir. I ask you to leave.” Satoru's authoritative voice resonated through the nearly deserted club. The other man clenching his teeth before uttering with a tone of derision, staring indifferently at Satoru with no intention of collaborating.

“Who are you the bartender? Get out of my way!” He reached out to grab you once again, when Satoru swiftly position himself in front of you shielding you, pushing the man with great strength causing him to collide with the table behind him. The sound of shattering glasses distorted the ambience of the club. A surge of anger engulfed him, prompting to rise. Using his fist, he delivered a direct punch to Satoru’s face.

“Satoru!” You exclaimed horrified, witnessed your lover’s fallen form. You were brutally pushed aside almost losing your equilibrium when the man continued his assault on Satoru, punching repeatedly.

There was too much blood. Too much to be Satoru’s.

Satoru regained his strength, delivering a forceful kick to the man's chest, forcing him to stagger backward. Rising to his feet, he then proceed to land punches to the man’s face hatred coursing through his body. You hurriedly went to his side, gripping his shoulder. “Satoru, stop! Let’s call the police!” You beg desperately, hoping your words can be heard.

A chaotic scene unfolded as Satoru was pushed back, you rush to his side to help him. The man wiping the blood from his mouth rose to his feet again. Time seemed to slow as the ominous sound of a charged gun filled the air. Instinctively, you positioned yourself in front of your lover uttering his name. Horrified screams echoed after the haunting sound of a shotgun took in, signaling someone got shot.

It took a moment to realize that you were the one who got shot.

You pushed Satoru on time before the bullet could hit him, time froze, however you didn’t immediately feel any pain. With difficulty you lower your head to stare down at your bloody chest, your white dress stained with the dark hue of your blood. You gasped loudly lifting a hand to stop the bleeding. The excruciating pain stop you from doing so, as you crumpled to your side.

“(Y/N)!!” Immobile and in agony, you heard his voice calling your name. Pain enveloping you in an embrace. The man’s leather shoes vanished from your view as you bleed on the ground, while the pain stifled any coherent thoughts. The old notion of “witnessing your life before death” felt like a cruel lie. You were dying and it was painful, leaving you gasping for air with a searing pain in your chest.

“No, we aren’t naming him after you if it’s a boy.” Satoru laughs, with a fake offended look.

“Why not? You don’t like my name? That’s a shame.”

“It’s already enough I have to deal with you.” You replied simply caressing the side of your stomach.

“You’re very cruel to your future spouse.” Once as soon Gojo said those words, your eyes widened moving your head to see him.

“What did you said?” You uttered shakily. Satoru offered a tender smile while lowering to one knee, cradling your hand in his own.

Satoru spoke earnestly, “I know it’s crazy given our brief time together, but I’ve found myself deeply in love with you. And if that makes me a fool, so be it. (Y/N), will you marry me?”

Overjoyed, you enthusiastically exclaimed. “Yes, a thousand times yes!!” Leaping into his arms with pure happiness.

The sapphire ring on his hand radiates a brighter glow, it’s timeless significance growing as it weathers the passage of time. Waving the half empty glass of his drink, a voice calls him pulling him out of thoughts.

“Sir, we are about to close.”

A sigh escapes his lips upon hearing this. “I will take my leave shortly if that’s okay.” The man nodded at the older man’s request. Satoru’s heart swelled with nostalgia as he surveyed his surroundings. Witnessing the changes over the years weighed heavily on him. Leaving his seat, he approaches the newly transformed stage. Despite the changes, it remains the same stage where you once performed. How fortune everyone back then were. Being able to witnesses your timeless performances. Ascending the stairs, Satoru stands on the stage glancing around. Overwhelmed by his emotions, he burst in tears. His cries reverberate through the empty club. The night still haunts him, blaming himself everyday for not be able to save you. He lost his youth, he lost his baby and he lost you. The faint sound of curtains opening draw his attention, as he lifts his tear-filled eyes, his cries subside. He saw you. Standing there, wearing the same dress from the day you passed away.

“(Y/N)…?” He calls for you, his voice becoming weak.

“Hello, my love.” Upon hearing your voice, Satoru bows his head overcome with sadness. The ache of missing your voice hits him. It hurts so much hearing it once again.

“Why did you left me? Why did you have to leave so soon?” He cries. “I missed you dearly, I still miss you. I hate myself for not saving you.” Strolling your way towards your lover, you hold his face on your hands so he can meet your eyes.

“Believe me, I didn’t want to leave you. All I wanted was to start a new life with you, with our baby. I’m sorry I had to leave you alone.” Satoru continued his cries, shutting his eyes together.

Blinking away tears, you let out a strained sigh. “Why haven’t you been taking care of yourself, huh? Are you trying to make me mad?” You said, your voice lingering with concern. Satoru didn’t respond, still crying his heart out.

“Give me your hand.”

After a few minutes, Satoru’s sobs subside after hearing your request. He blinks in confusion staring back at you. “What?”

“Just give me your hand. I want to see if your dancing skills are still good.” You say infusing a moment of lightness. As your hands link together, the ambience changes transporting you both back in time. 30 years ago when youth and love intertwined between you two.

In each other’s arms, you both laughed and exchanged smiles dancing with carefree abandon. The old same tunes surrounded the dance, the ones you used to perform to. In that perfect moment, reality faded away for Satoru, lost in the enchantment of the past. The Satoru from 30 years ago dancing with the love of his life.

“Sir—“ a firm grip interrupted the staff man from calling the elder man.

“It’s okay, let him be for a couple of minutes.”

Silently the staff observed the older man dancing in solitude with the ghost of you. Moving with a poignant grace, lost in the memories of a stolen youth.

Author’s Note: I kind of had this draft for a while so I’m posting it now all fixed. Thanks for reading ! Please check out my other works.

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liliansun · 2 years ago

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FTWS: FIRST ANNIVERSARY | L. DONGHYUCK

synopsis: You and Haechan have been fighting lately and even though they were small arguments, it all got thrown into the same melting pot. To add onto the stress, your ex boyfriend shows up unannounced and his arrival causes things to stir up even worse than what they were before. (Note: this is a pt 2, check out pt1 here)

pairing: boyfriend!haechan x oc ft. mystery ex bc 🤭

wc: 7.7k

genre: fluff, comedy, slice of life au, angst, all that jazz

warnings: swearing, kissing, mentions of blood (just a small part where a wound is open but not anything graphic), lmk if I miss anything!

mentions of: 127, dream and wayv members, mention of aespa members

<3: did I write this all in one day—yea, do I regret it, no baby LMAO. also a special thanks to mako for getting me through these last few hours along w ash and briar for also just being some of the most amazing friends I could ask for. also thank YOU for giving all the love to fre trial wedding style and giving it 1k notes in just a little over a week, I hope this is just as good as the first and I love you all <33

Ever since you and Haechan started dating, it’s been interesting to say the least. He takes you on random dates throughout the city and almost always pays for each, you try to reason with him that you do have your own money to chip in, but he tells you chivalry isn’t dead and pays before you can get another word in. You know it’s sweet and he’s trying to be romantic, but somehow it also leads to small arguments. For example, the argument you’re both in as you pace the living room of your apartment happens to be based off the date you decided to cut short due to his lack of view from your standpoint.

“I don’t understand why you’re so mad, I’m your boyfriend and I want to be able to do things for you.” Frustrated, Haechan watches as you walk around your living room, running his hands through his hair.

“That’s because you don’t let me do anything, you don’t let me pay, you don’t let me have much say into where we go or what we do and you treat me like a baby when in fact I’m older than you.” After listening to the reasons off on your hand, you stand with your hands on your hip. He rolls his eyes, moving his entire body in the motion. “By a couple months—why are we even bringing age up, this isn’t about who is what, this is about—I don’t even know what this is about anymore.” You let out a heavy sigh, rubbing your temples to relax the migraine that was pounding against your skull.

Haechan moves across the room, grabbing both of your hands and bringing them to his lips. The soft kisses he places along your knuckles brings you back in as you meet his eyes. “Look, I’m sorry for making you upset.” You can tell how genuine his words are by the look he’s giving you. “I won’t plan everything without your input anymore, I promise.” He continues kissing your hand, moving his kisses down to your wrist. The feeling of his soft lips on your skin let's open the cage to the butterflies that flutter inside your chest. “I forgive you hyuck.” He smiles against your skin, moving his lips from your wrist to your lips.

You wrap your arms around his neck, grazing your fingers through the ends of his hair. As he pulls back from the short and sweet kiss, he rests his forehead against yours, taking in the moment while it lasts. “Are you staying over tonight?” You frown, shaking your head which is returned with a mirrored frown. “I got a meeting in the morning with Jungwoo and you know that he’ll chew my ass if I’m late by a second.”

“Why can’t you stay over then, I’ll get up and make you breakfast and even lay your clothes out for you.” Haechan moves his head into the crook of your neck, checking every box of his tactics to convince you to stay. You relish in the feeling of his worth, letting out what felt like the millionth sigh of the night. “That sounds like fun hyuckie, but last time you tried to make breakfast, you nearly burnt down your apartment.” He laughs against your shoulder, making you laugh in return by the tickling feeling of him giggling against your skin. “So does that mean I can stay over instead?” You pull back, eyeing Haechan as he gives you the same goofy smile he always has on. “Go home before I take my key back.”

Haechan continues laughing, pulling his keys from his front pocket. As he holds them up, you see the purple key with home written across the metal. “As if I’d ever let you take this back, this is my key to your heart baby and unfortunately for you, you’re stuck with me.” Rolling your eyes, you turn him around and start to push him towards the door. “Yeah yeah, better be glad I still like your crazy ass.” Haechan opens your front door, turning around to face you as you wait for him to initiate the goodnight kiss. As cheesy as it sounds, it’s almost become a tradition for you two to kiss before the other returns back to their apartment. Even though you’re right across from each other, to you it seals in everything that the day has brought and leads to a better night.

Haechan leans down, kissing you so gently that you can barely feel that he’s there and those are your favorite type of kisses with him. All of them are probably your favorite, but this one in particular tops the cake. As he pulls away, you almost don’t wanna see him go, but you need all the rest you can get before work in the morning. “Goodnight y/n.” Haechan’s voice sounds so bittersweet, walking backward to his door as you give him a small wave. “Goodnight hyuck.” He smiles at the nickname, turning to open his door and disappearing behind it once it’s shut.

Closing your door, you make your way down the hall and climb into bed to settle for the night. Just as you start to get comfortable, you hear your phone go off with notifications. Deciding not to ruin your comfort, you neglect your unread notifications and opt for sleep. By the morning, you still don’t have the energy to check your phone and instead skip breakfast and head straight to the office to get the day over with. The moment you step into the building, you’re greeted with Jaehyun who was standing by the front desk chatting it up with Winter. You notice two coffees in his hand and to much surprise, one of them is your usual order.

When Jaehyun notices you, he makes his way over and hands you your cup. “You’re in a surprisingly good mood today.” You scowl at him as you take a sip of your drink. “Says the one who took the time to order me a drink, I’m not gonna pass out am I?” He gives you an uneasy smile before stepping into the elevator with you. The weird sense of deja vu comes over you, sending a chill down your spine. “You haven’t checked your phone by chance, have you?” Looking up from practically spacing out, you give Jaehyun a weird look. “No, why, did I miss something?” He looks at you almost surprised, shrugging as he gets off a few floors before your stop.

“Good luck y/n.” Just as you’re about to ask him what his mood was about, he practically rushes away from the elevator, leaving you confused. When you get off on your floor, you see Taeyong and Doyoung standing nearby. You wave at them when they look your way, getting a smile in return. Something in your stomach tells you that things are going wrong when they immediately turn their backs to you and start moving in the opposite direction. You try to push the feeling down, continuing down to your office. When Karina sees you, she pulls you aside almost immediately. “Girl what the hell have you been doing?” You look at Karina with the same confusion you’ve been giving everyone, wondering what the hell you missed in the last twelve hours.

You crouch down to her level, rubbing your arm where she had pulled you aside. “What am I doing, what the hell is going on, everyone is acting like I got the plague or something.” She scans your expression with her eyes, realizing that you haven’t figured out what you’re about to. She sighs, slumping forward before looking up at you. “Okay, I guess you didn’t get my texts last night which by the way were important so don’t freak out or anything, but Xiaojun is back.” At the mention of his name, you can practically feel the color from your face leave you. The mention of ex makes you feel sick and you have to hold onto Karina to keep you from falling on your ass.

A little backstory into Xiaojun and your relationship explains your reaction and why you visibly look ill. Before the two of you became a couple, Xiaojun was an exchange student who went to your high school in hopes to get into the journaling club and that’s where you two met. He was tall, had a pretty smile and even prettier voice. Naturally, you two got close and even started to hang out after school and outside of club hours. It sounds like a typical high school romance and from the surface, it was. Until it was time for him to go back home and you were both left heartbroken and frustrated on how to resolve the underlying feelings between the two of you.

Somehow, the world kept working in your favor and Xiaojun ended up moving back once he graduated from his school back in China. The two of you went to the same university and even both got into similar classes to spend the most time together. All things were going great up until your senior year when you both applied to the job you work now. Tension started to build as you both wanted to get a spot as an intern in hopes to kickstart your career as a journalist. You knew how bad Xiaojun wanted it, but you didn’t know if you were willing to give up your dreams for your boyfriend. Yes, you did plan and hope to marry him one day and even in the toughest times, you’d still find yourself wanting to grow old with him, but when you got the spot and he didn’t, everything started to fall apart.

Both you and Xiaojun would get into fights after you got back from working all day and unknown to you, he applied as well for an actual job to the company. When he ended up getting the job, you didn’t know how to feel, I mean yes you were happy, but he also went behind your back and didn’t tell you about it until he was accepted. After all was said and done, you stuck through it and eventually was offered a job as well and to you, this was a great idea. You’d be working with your boyfriend who you loved dearly and you’d both be doing the thing you love. All was found great for about three weeks until he was offered a job at the sister company over in China.

When he brought up the offer to you, of course you were heartbroken, but you weren’t going to let him leave his dream behind to stay here with you and this somehow added more fuel to the fire. He started accusing you of wanting to take his position and even went as far to say you fell out of love with him which was far from the truth. In the end, he took the position and left overnight after a heated argument that caused you both to split. It took you years to move on from the first love of your life and when you did, you met Haechan who has been the absolute best boyfriend you could ever ask for. Sometime in the beginning, you did find yourself comparing him to your ex, but Haechan could never compare to Xiaojun because he treated you so much better.

Karina’s hand on your shoulder brought you back in, the concerned look in her eyes making you feel even worse. Everyone knew the messy breakup that happened between you and Xiaojun and everyone was sympathetic for you when you started putting all your focus into working. “Uhm, how-I mean when like what—why is this even happening?” Your voice was shaky, taking deep breaths in to calm yourself. Maybe it was the nerves that shook at the mention of his name, causing a chain reaction of old memories and emotions to resurface or maybe it was the sheer pain in your chest that drops down to your stomach when thinking of seeing him in front of you again.

“He’s supposed to come in today, but I heard from Doyoung that he’ll be in by the end of the week, I just thought I’d tell you in advance to prep you.” Immediately, you pull her into a hug to which she returns and the two of you hold one another on the floor in the back space of the office. “Keep strong, remember you have Haechan and all will be well, he doesn’t have a hold over you anymore.” Her words soothe you and she feels you relax in her embrace. You close your eyes, mentally thanking every star in the night sky for bringing you an amazing friend like Karina.

“C’mon, let’s go to my office so I can tell you about Yangyang and the shit he did last night.” Both of you get up from the floor, sitting in her office while she works on some reports and spills every little detail from her date with your boyfriend’s best friend. You thought it’d be weird going on double dates with Yangyang and Karina, but seeing as they’re not actually dating (yet), it all just feels like one big hangout amongst friends. You confide in her about your small arguments with Haechan and she now isn’t too happy with the boy of mention. “Seems to me like he’s ready to take the next big step.” You give her a look, flipping through her paper files as she types away on the computer. “And that is?”

“Moving in together, duh.” You snicker, trying to find any hint of her comment being a joke. When looking up to find her staring at you, you realize she’s joking. “Oh, you’re serious?” She shakes her head, pulling the files from you and setting them on her desk. “So you mean to tell me you haven’t thought about moving in with him at all, not even once?” Shrugging, your face scrunches up at her disappointing sigh. “L/n Y/n, you seriously haven’t thought about moving in with your boyfriend of nearly a year?”

“Not necessarily, I mean I’ve thought about it a couple times, but the thought of it always gave me stomach pains.”

“Are you sure that wasn’t just his cooking?” Jaehyun’s voice was recognizable from literally anywhere, making you whip your head around to throw up a finger at him. He smiles, slapping your hand away as you turn back to Karina. “Girl, this man is putting all the signs in front of you and you can’t even see them, see this is why you’re fighting.” She folds her arms over her chest, leaning back into her chair. “We’re not fighting, we’re simply arguing over the littlest shit which actually makes no sense in the end and we end up making up.”

“I hate to break this little counseling session, but you’re about to be late for your meeting.” You gasp, looking down at your watch to see you have barely three minutes to make it across the building. Pushing Jaehyun aside, you sprint as fast as you can through the building and bust through the doors just in time. Out of breath with your hair sticking to the light sweat that broke out on your forehead, you’re leaned over trying to catch your breath as you prop your hands on your knees. “Glad you can make it miss y/n.” The sound of Jungwoo’s voice makes you swallow thick, wiping your forehead with your sleeve as you move to grab a seat.

You can practically feel everyone’s eyes on you as you sit down, embarrassed at your unprofessional entrance. You look around the room, noticing the seat next to Jungwoo was empty. You’re about to ask Doyoung, who was sitting beside you who it belonged to before the door opened and caught everyone’s attention. “Sorry for being late everyone, I was caught up in traffic.” The familiar voice sends an uneasy chill down your spine, making your throat go dry and refusing to look in his direction. “No problem Xiaojun, please take a seat and let the meeting begin.” Jungwoo welcomed him, motioning him to the empty spot that was right across from yours.

You could feel his eyes on you, making you feel sick on the stomach. Instead of looking his way, you focused on the projector screen and tried to remain visibly calm and unaffected by his presence, but it was starting to get hard to maintain.

For the rest of the day, you stayed pretty silent and dodged every question that was being asked. You could tell people were worried and tried to be there for you, but the overwhelming shock of seeing him after nearly three years was still so fresh on your unhealed wound. Even Karina tried to keep people away from you just to let you have some space and give you time to collect your thoughts, knowing later on you’d fill her in, which you did. You called her after you left work, telling how uncomfortable it was with him staring you down and how tense the meeting was and how Doyoung pulled you aside and apologized for his unexpected announcement. Doyoung mentioned specifically he’d chew Jungwoo out for not giving him right information about his whereabouts for your sake.

“I can’t believe that happened, that’s something from like a movie.” You sigh, sticking your key into your door and pushing it open, nearly dropping your phone as you scream. Haechan, who you assumed wanted to surprise you, was standing in your living room with a plate that was covered with a metal lid. Taken aback by your reaction, he too screams and unexpectedly drops the plate which ultimately lands on his foot, furthering his scream. You throw your phone aside after telling Karina you’d call her back, scrambling down to a very much in pain Haechan. “Are you okay hyuckie, how bad does it hurt?”

Haechan moved his hands away from his bruised looking foot. You noticed the cut that was bleeding, frowning as you graze your fingers near his wound. “I’m sorry baby, I ruined your dinner.” When you looked up to meet his eyes, you immediately wanted to cry. He looked so soft and sad, like a puppy that was kicked and it broke your heart to see him apologizing over something so small. Okay, maybe it was just the weight of stress from the day that tipped the tears in your eyes to start spilling mixed in with your overly sweet boyfriend in pain apologizing for something that felt like your fault.

After you cleaned his wound up and had him propped up on the couch with a pillow under his foot, you cleaned up the mess it made and took a well-needed shower after. When you got back, you saw Haechan asleep on your couch, looking too peaceful to wake up. Grabbing the blanket from your closet, you gently drape it over him. He stirs a little, blinking up at you with a smile. “Baby, why didn’t you wake me up?” You shake your head, crouching down to hold his hand as you place a soft kiss onto his cheek. “You looked too peaceful to be woken up, plus you need to rest your foot.” He sits up a little, pushing the blanket off as he tries to get off the couch. “I can still walk, I’m not on crushes.”

You shake your head, helping him up and instead of guiding him to the door, you guide him to your room. “Why aren’t we going to my apartment?” He questions, letting you help him into bed. He knows far too well he can walk on his own, he just finds it too cute that you wanna help him around. “You’re staying with me tonight, duh.” After climbing into bed, you snuggle up to him and rest your head on his chest. His arm that you’re laying against is playing with your hair as you relax under his touch. “Wanna talk about it, your day I mean.” If you had a list of all the things you loved about him, near the top would be his attentiveness and how he seems to always know when something is troubling you.

“Maybe in the morning.” He nods, satisfied and way too tired to pry it out of you. Instead, he kisses the crown of your head and closes his eyes. His thoughts are turning and the sleepiness lets his tongue become a little unfiltered before thinking of his own words. “You know, maybe we can do this more if we lived together.” You could hear your heart beating out of your chest, only hoping that he didn’t hear it as well. You decide not to say anything, opting to go to sleep instead.

When morning comes, Haechan was still asleep and damn did he look so cute. You slowly and as quietly as you can get out of bed, get ready for work and leave your apartment with Haechan in it. You did write him a note and left it on the counter for when he wakes up before rushing out the door and praying your day would be better than yesterday. You genuinely had hopes it would, that is until you actually got to work and ran into the one person you were hoping to avoid. Xiaojun was walking just as you were, waving to you as you with return a nod. Trying to rush to the elevator, you’re starting to think the universe genuinely did enjoy shitting on you as Xiaojun made it just in time in the same elevator with you.

“What floor?” Practically spacing out, you didn’t realize he was talking to you until he got closer to you and started waving his hand in front of you. “I’m sorry, what?” For some ungodly reason, he smiles at you and repeats his question. Your tongue goes dry as you tell him and he clicks on it. You want to crawl into a hole and let the earth swallow you up when you see he only clicked on your floor, meaning he too had to get off on that floor. The rest of the ride up was tense and uncomfortably quiet.

Once the doors open, Xiaojun goes to say something and you can almost guess what he’s about to say before you run, literally run, out the elevator and run into your tiny office space and hide. As embarrassing as you probably look, you’re thankful you kept the conversation short and didn’t have to endure any more short talk with him. You pull your phone from your pocket as it starts buzzing, settling in your chair and logging into your computer. You immediately smile at the caller id, swiping right to answer and bring the phone to your ear. “Hi hyuckie.” You can practically hear his smile through the phone as he shifts around in the background. “Hi baby, i like the note you left me.” Smiling a little wider, you start to click open some unanswered emails.

“I’m glad you like it baby, I meant it too, especially the part about taking one of your toes if so much as lift a hand today.” He laughs, taking a bite of what you assume is the food you asked Yangyang to bring him for you. “Yeah yeah, don’t touch my money makers.” You snicker, holding the phone up with your shoulder as you start to reply to emails and sort through the ones that aren’t as urgent. “Anyway, have you thought of what I said last night?”

“Hm, last night?”

“Yeah, about moving in together and stuff.” The timing of his words and the email you just opened triggered a chain reaction to you feeling awfully sick. The email you received from Doyoung was his email that he got from Jungwoo, telling you that you’d have to work on a piece for an up and coming company with—you guessed it—your ex. “Baby? What’s wrong, you went super quiet.” You almost forgot you’re talking to Haechan, clearing your throat as you type a very infuriating reply to the email. “Uhm, sorry I just got distracted, can we maybe talk about this another time, I’m so sorry baby, but I just—I gotta take care of something real quick.”

You miss the defeated tone in Haechan’s voice when he bids you goodbye before hanging up the phone. As if on cue, Doyoung comes flying into your office, giving you the same sympathetic look he gave you just the day before. “Don’t do anything irrational before you send that email.” You push yourself back from your desk, swiveling your chair around to stare up at him furiously. “Are you kidding me, out of all the people in this building I just so happen to be paired up with him?”

“I know and I tried to fight Jungwoo on it, but he said what we were all thinking.” Doyoung threw his hands up in defense, trying to keep you from tearing him apart. “And that is?” You crossed your arms over your chest, waiting for something logical, anything that’ll make you believe there’s nothing to quit you from going to Jungwoo yourself. “You’re the best we have and he’s also very talented, think about it y/n, if you both work on this together—not even together, just you working on the draft and him finalizing it, it’ll give you so much light.” You hated it, you hated how right he was and how sick it made you feel. You hated that you now were forced to have contact with him and you absolutely hated how Haechan would react.

Just as you’re about to tell Doyoung you didn’t care and that there was no way in hell you’d work with Xiaojun, the man himself peaks into your office as Doyoung is leaving. “Hey y/n, can we talk?” You look to Doyoung for help, but instead he waves you goodbye and disappears amongst the crowd of your coworkers. “Uh, sure?” He leans against your desk, picking at his nails as you can only assume he’s trying to find his words. “I assume you got the email and I just wanna say I’m excited to work with you again.” You feel way too many emotions at once and it’s all overwhelming. Thankfully, he doesn’t look at you directly and can’t tell how close you are to crying.

“In celebration of being back, we’re all going out tonight and I wanted to know if you’re coming or not.” You want to say no, you want to scream it from the top of the building and tell him to eat shit for coming back into your life as if nothing happened, as if he didn’t break you, but you pull it together and shrug. “I guess, if Karina goes of course, don’t wanna be with you alone somewhere.” The last part comes out completely by accident and it throws Xiaojun off. He smiles, taking his leave, leaving you to try and filter your thoughts.

The rest of the day goes by relatively normal and you made sure to text Haechan that you were found out with work friends for dinner. To much surprise, he didn’t ask why and told you to have fun. You told him you’d be back not too late and somehow that was the opposite of how the night ended. When you all left work, everyone immediately wanted to get dinner and have a good time. You on the other hand kept close to Karina even though she invited Yangyang. Karina made the promise to stay by you regardless of her state, but two shots into the night and she was off somewhere dancing on tables with her (soon to be)boyfriend cheering her on.

Awkward tension was surrounding you and Xiaojun as people kept congratulating you both on getting such a big story to cover and to be honest, it didn’t feel like a real celebration. By the end of the night, Karina had lost your keys somewhere between the bathroom and the bar she was clinging to. Xiaojun of course had to be the first to offer you a ride home with the drunk (not yet)couple in his backseat and although you wanted to call Haechan, you felt bad if you got him out the comfort of his bed at this ungodly hour. The drive on the other hand was a breeze since Karina and Yangyang kept spewing nonsense and directly talking shit about Xiaojun.

When you pulled up to your apartment, Xiaojun got out of the car as you did, watching you walk towards your building. Turning around due to the feeling of being watched, you saw him leaning against his door. “Why are you watching me, it’s uncomfortable.” He smiled, shaking his head as reopened his door. “Just making sure you get inside safely.” You chose the safest option and turned back around without a word and went up to your apartment. The only thing you wanted right now was to crawl into your bed after an amazingly hot shower and sleep your worries away, instead you were met with a very upset looking Haechan standing at your front door.

“Hi baby.” You mumble, pushing your door open and walking past him. “Who was that?” His question threw you off, turning to him to see him standing in your doorway with furrowed brows. “Who are you talking about?”

“Pretty boy making heart eyes at my girlfriend, the one whose car you got out of?” You could see the hurt written across his face, making you frown. “Baby, he was no one, don’t worry about him.” He scoffs, dropping his crossed arms to run his fingers through his hair. “He’s not one of your coworkers I’ve seen before, so please y/n, just tell me who the hell was that guy.” You’ve never seen him so upset before, his eyes were glossy and yet there was a lingering anger that you could see in his eyes. “He’s my ex boyfriend—I know it looks bad I know, but I can explain perfectly.”

He looks down at his feet, silently waiting for you to give your explanation. “He used to work at the came company, but he ended up moving back home to work at the sister company and we broke up—I promise you hyuck there’s nothing going on between us, he just dropped me off because Karina lost my keys and they all wanted to celebrate him coming back and I didn’t have a ride ho-“

“Why didn’t you call me?” It was all too much, your senses overwhelmed. Both of you were a mess, crying as you each tried to keep it together. “It’s late and you’re hurt and I didn-“

He scoffed, taking a step back and out your front door. “So you take a ride with your ex instead of calling your boyfriend..is he the reason you don’t wanna move in with me?” Shaking your head, you try to reach out for him in hopes he’d let you in, instead he shuts you out and takes another step back. “Please hyuck, I do wanna move in with you, I just can’t.” Everything was happening too fast, Haechan silently went back to his apartment leaving you falling to your knees in tears with your door wide open.

That night, you felt empty inside. It seemed dramatic, but you truly never had such a bad fight with Haechan before. Sure, you two would have small petty fights, but this one ripped your heart right out your chest and all you could think of was how he might leave you. The next morning, you laid in your bed, crying on the pillow Haechan used each time he stayed over. You had already told Doyoung you’d be working from home for the rest of the week, making up an excuse that you were sick and didn’t feel like coming into work and risking everyone else getting it as well. Of course Doyoung wished you a good recovery and told you he’d email you everything you needed.

As the day passed, you laid dormant in your bed while watching the sun rise and fall from its shine through your window. A knock on your front door caught your attention, immediately rushing up from your bed and running through your apartment to answer it. When you opened the door, you were hoping to be met with Haechan, instead you saw Karina holding a duffel bag. “Don’t just stand there, lemme in, it’s cold.” You stepped aside, sniffling as she entered your apartment. You could hear shuffling coming from down the hall, watching Yangyang come up and to Haechan’s door along with Renjun and Mark. They all gave you a sympathetic smile when seeing you nearly break down, knocking on Haechan’s door.

You stood there, waiting for it to open just to get a glimpse. You needed to see him, almost desperate to see him and you wanted nothing more to have him back in your arms. Mark picked his phone from his pocket, answering it and nodding before hanging up his call. “He said it’s unlocked.” Both boys nodded at the other before giving you one last look before they all disappeared into Haechan’s apartment. Karina gently guided you from your door, holding you when you turned into her arms and let it all go.

Not exactly how long you stood by your door crying into her shirt, but being the amazing friend she is, she held you as you let it all out. The stress from work, the stress and pain from being forced to be around Xiaojun and the stress and pain of worrying of losing Haechan was all too much and you finally let it all out. Once you had calmed down, both you and Karina settled in your bed and watched your favorite moves for the rest of the night till you got hungry. “Go shower and I’ll order food.” You could only nod, imagining how bad you smelt from wallowing in your bed all day.

As you got in the shower, Karina ordered your favorite take out and waited till it was delivered. She went to get it from the delivery man when she spotted Haechan coming up to his apartment. Not knowing if she should say hello or not, she paid for the food and stood awkwardly in your doorway. From the looks of it, he looked just as bad as you did. Hair unkept to, clothes inside out and mismatching and he overall looked heartbroken. She started to think he didn’t notice her, until he finally made eye contact. “How..is she?” She too felt her eyes start to sting thinking about you and how softly you tried to cry in the shower when she passed by.

“She’s not herself, but I got her.” He simply nodded, standing in front of his door for a minute. “Karina, did the food come?” Your voice caught both of their attentions, making Karina turn around and shut the door before she caught sight of him. When the door shut, Haechan silently cried as he entered his apartment, being brought into a group hug with the three boys.

A few weeks had passed since your fight with Haechan and both of you were avoiding each other, despite how much you wanted to talk to one another. When he was coming in from work, you’d be opening the door for Karina or leaving to go meet up with Xiaojun for work. I know, meeting with your ex when you and your boyfriend aren’t talking isn’t ideal, but Jungwoo got down your throat about your project and wanted a final draft soon. Karina kept telling you to man up and text him first, be the bigger person and to ‘get it over with’ so she doesn’t have to see you mope around.

In your defense—you tried to text him and every time you did you could see the three little bubbles indicating he was too trying to text you. You always chickened out, waiting for him to finish his text, only to be saddened when the bubbles disappear and your heart breaks all over again. As you’re sitting on your couch binging It’s Okay To Not Be Okay for the fifth time this week, you hear a knock on your door and don’t think much of it. When you get off the couch and finally open the door, to much surprise you don’t see who you expect. Usually when you hear a knock, it’s typically Karina and if she can’t come, she’ll send Yangyang in her place. You were even hoping it’d be Haechan, instead you were met with a very smiley Xiaojun.

You notice the flowers—your favorite flowers in his hand and a bag of what smells like your favorite food. The old you probably would’ve swooned at him standing in front of you, but the person you are now is completely taken aback by his unannounced arrival, more importantly how did he remember where you lived. “What do you want?” Now he looks taken aback, not expecting your reaction. “I uh, can I come in, it’s kinda cold out here.” You relax, leaning against your door frame with arms crossed over your chest. “No, now answer my question.” He takes in a deep breath, swallowing thickly while trying to avoid your gaze.

“Well, it’s our anniver—“

“Was our anniversary, past tense.”

“Yeah, was, um, but I thought you’d like to come out with me, but judging by your absence at work I decided to come to you instead.” Your deadpan expression should give away how you feel, but you almost forget who you’re dealing with. He was the same way when you two dated, completely oblivious to your feelings despite your body language giving it away. “Xiaojun, I’m sorry if you got some mixed signals by me being in your general presence, but I have a boyfriend actually and I’m not really into the douchebag type anymore, sorry.”

He scoffs, dropping his hand that was holding the flowers. “You could’ve just said no, you don’t have to make up having a boyfriend.” You’re not exactly sure how the universe managed to pull this off, but just as Xiaojun was finishing his sentence, Haechan was walking up to his door with Yangyang and Mark. “Actually, that’s my boyfriend right there, wave hi.” You point to Haechan who was confused seeing you and your ex staring at him. “Who, the one with blonde hair?” You visibly gag, shaking your head while Mark snickers at the very offended Yangyang. “Ew, no, the brunette, that’s the boyfriend, so sorry, bye bye now.” You give Xiaojun a little shove away from your door, pushing him a little further before going back into your apartment.

You almost miss the look Haechan is giving you, making your stomach turn upside down with butterflies that cry out for him. Something inside tells you to stay, to hope he comes over and scoops you up and kisses you to make up for each kiss he missed out, but you choose to hold it together and shut your door before you completely break down all over again.

Another long week passed with no word from Haechan and you’re starting to think he’s never going to talk to you again. By the end of the week, you’re fed up with it all. You’re over the silence from his end and the avoided eye contact in the hall when passing one another, you’re especially over spending your first year anniversary alone in bed in the morning. Thankfully it was a weekend and you didn’t have to go into work with puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks, opting to finally confront Haechan and sort through the shit show your relationship has come to.

Sometime between crying to old Taylor Swift songs and brushing your teeth, you go over what you want to say to him in case he breaks up with you and the thought leaves a bitter taste on your tongue that the brush cannot get rid of. You finish getting ready for the day, taking your time to eat breakfast in hopes that it all goes well. Karina had called earlier, trying to give you a pep-talk and hype you up, but she only added fuel to your nervousness. Deciding to stop stalling anymore, you leave your apartment and stand frozen in front of Haechan’s door. The butterflies in your stomach are beating against you, rushing around to be set free.

With a deep breath, you knock on his door and await in the background noise of the city. After some shuffling, you see Haechan swing the door open and you feel your knees giving in just by the sight of him. His hair has been trimmed, combed nicely and parted even with what you assume is styling gel. He was wearing some of his nicer clothes in his closet, no suit and tie, but more of his favorite jeans and a shirt that complements both his shirt and skin tone. He has his shoes on, as if he was about leave and part of you is terrified to know where he was going. “Go back home, you’re not supposed to be here.”

Now you’re a little taken aback by him, furrowing your brows as he immediately realizes how harsh that sounds. “No, no not like that—I mean I had things planned and I was supposed to come to you and it was supposed to be roman—“ As expected, you completely melt as he tries to explain and instead of staring at him like he’s an idiot—(he is but he’s your idiot)—you pull on his collar and take him into a very awaited kiss. Haechan is just as surprised as you are, hesitating a little before wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into his apartment to hold you closer.

The two of you share an intimate and very much missed kiss, holding one another until you’re both out of breath and pull back. “I missed you hyuck.” You couldn’t see the goofy boyish smile he had, his heart doing flips in his chest at the use of the nickname. “I missed you even more baby, I promise I’ll never go that long without you again, I mean it baby.” Letting out the breath of relief, you took this moment to re-familiarize yourself with Haechan. His touch was still the same, gentle yet firm when he held you. His lips were still as soft as ever, a little dry—but a few swipes of chapstick never hurt anyone.

“I think we should talk about this all, I really do—but I have a surprise first.” You look up at him, smiling as he grabs both of your hands and leads you out of his apartment. “Where are we going?” He shakes his head at you, wiggling his finger after making sure his door was locked. “It’s a surprise woman, don’t ask me questions I can’t answer.” You roll your eyes at him, sticking your tongue out to which he blows a kiss. Following him down to his car, you both get in and head out for whatever his surprise was. You start to look around, heading just a little further down in the city to an area that was somewhat familiar.

“Alright, we’re here.” Once he parked the car, both you and Haechan got out of the car and he took your hand into his. Giving his hand a squeeze, he returned the squeeze with a smile. “You look beautiful by the way, especially when you’re telling your ex off.” You snicker, rolling your eyes at him while following alongside. The two of you walk up to a cafe door, Haechan covering your eyes with one hand as he pulls the door open. “Okay, now take a couple steps forward—but be careful not to fall, I cannot afford to spend our first anniversary at the hospital.”

“And if I do, don’t judge me.” He only smiles, coming in behind you as he still holds his hands over your eyes. You can feel how close he’s gotten, his breath fanning your neck as he drops his hand and you finally take in everything. There were rose petals scattered all over the floor of the cafe that the two of you first met, all leading to the table you were seated that day and circling around it. On the table was your favorite dinner from a chain restaurant that you two ordered on your first official date and along the wall are polaroids you took at the reception of Johnny’s wedding.

Tears began to swell in your eyes, turning around to pull him close and peck small kisses all over his face. He holds your waist, taking in the affection he missed so much. “I know we have a lot to talk about and a lot of explaining to do for the distance between us these last few week, but right now I just want you to know I love you, I’m head over heels in love with you and I wouldn’t have asked for anyone else to want to spend my life with.”

“We’ll talk about that later, for now, I just wanna be with you.” Haechan didn’t have any problem with that, leading you over to the table where you two sat and ate and talked for hours. He told you about how the boys tried to cheer him up and even helped him rent the cafe out for the day—which was very expensive, he mentioned. You told him the full backstory about Xiaojun and Haechan fully understood why you didn’t want him around. Regardless of him being your ex, the two of you were just no good and created a bad environment for you to be in. For the rest of the night, you both danced around the cafe to music Haechan could sing on the spot and had the best night to end your perfectly imperfect first anniversary.

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anonymousangstmonster · 1 year ago

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Prompt #31

Ever since Maddie fatally injured Phantom and woke up the next morning with her sons cold corpse in her arms, she’s been grieving, never able to really move on.

The bloody note he left on his bed read:

“Mom, Dad I’m Phantom I was zapped in the portal Jazz can explain the science Don’t blame yourselves If the police are reading this, don’t lock them up, they didn’t know, I kept it from them Please don’t cremate or cut open my body Bury me in my favorite NASA hoodie I love you Goodbye

-Danny”

She couldn’t help but blame herself, she’s the one who killed him. He was too pure and forgiving for this world, asking his murderer not to blame herself, unfortunately the universe agreed.

Jazz moved away for college as soon as she turned eighteen, clearly she blamed Maddie, and Maddie couldn’t blame her for it.

She was pregnant again, with a baby boy they would call Michael, someone to carry on the Fenton name now that their first son was dead, not that Danny could ever be replaced.

She visited his grave every month to leave flowers and apologize and just tell him what was going on around town. On his birthday every year she and Jack would come and carve another few constellations on his tombstone, soon they’d run out of room and have to start putting them on the Phantom memorial the townspeople built right behind the headstone.

One day Maddie brought a little model spaceship and tell him she was sorry she ruined his chances of one day becoming an astronaut like he always dreamed. She came back the next day to find a sticky-note saying: “I went to space”

As soon as Michael was old enough to take care of himself Maddie committed suicide and was buried in the empty spot right next to where her sons body lay in the ground.

Danny couldn’t just leave, he still had a town to protect!

So he stayed, barely a weak spirit, his former enemies were plagued by nightmares and visions of Phantom every time they wandered into his old territory.

Most of the time he simply hung out in the cemetery where his name was carved in stone, listening to his mother talk to him and tell him stories. It was nice to be visited so often, but he couldn’t stand that she wasn’t respecting his last wishes of forgiving herself.

When he heard her say that she was the reason he never got to be an astronaut, he had to reassure her, so he left a sticky-note with all the strength he could muster.

When Maddie killed herself Danny was at the funeral, invisible, but it was the first time he saw Jazz since his. Michael took up the task of adding a new constellation to Phantom’s memorial stone every year, and Danny was proud to watch his little brother grow up, even if he could never really meet him.

I made myself cry coming up with this.

This is more like a script than a prompt.

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brightdarkness-2013 · 6 months ago

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Chapter 15: And Heres Another One!

Summary:Jazz brings Prowl m&ms.

It was a boring run of the mill Tuesday afternoon. Barricade was getting a tube shoved down his throat again as he still refused to eat. Prowl didn’t bother trying to encourage him to eat once they started force feeding, but so long as Prowl didn’t mind then he must be fine. He was healing much better now that they had a little nest. He’d just lay in front of the entrance all day and briefly moved when Prowl emerged. Within another few days we were thinking of trying to merge them with another broken pod. It was a group of three that we’ve had for a while. Five wouldn’t be a complete pod, but with a larger number they could survive out in the ocean. One mating season and a mix with another pod and surely they’d have another in no time. A red mer and a golden mer and a little mini that had somehow gotten into the group. All of them had a bad habit of splashing anyone nearby, but they did it without the intention to harm or make things harder. They liked attention and liked to play with anyone who was willing. They didn’t bite or growl or hiss anymore. The golden mer didn’t join in as much and spent a lot of time grooming himself, but even he had a more playful side. They had, had a bad run in with some hunters and their pod stuck out with the glimmering scales. They were far too brightly colored for their own good and their chosen spot by the reef nearby had given the hunters easy access.

Quite honestly I didn’t think it was a good idea. Anything that had to do with Barricade was a bad idea. Trying to get him to play nice was an even worse idea.There was no way it was going to go over well. If it was possible I’d find a way to get Prowl to drop his pod member. The mer was way too aggressive and I swear he’d rip anyone or thing apart that entered his space. I could picture him slaughtering Prowl. There was nothing I could do about that and from what I had seen two of the three were fighters. The mini was more of a scout. Checking for danger and looking around stealthily enough to not be caught before returning to tell it’s pod members. The little thing was fast, but unfortunately young and the event had scarred the poor thing. Hopefully when the time came he’d keep away from Barricade.

“Prowl. I know you’re in there.”

I sat on the feeding stand as I pulled out the colored bag. I shook it a few times and watched the hidden entrance to the makeshift nest. No response. He didn’t even stir from what I could see. I frowned.

“I brought ya a treat… Blaster, I need ya!”

“What? He’s still shunning you?”

“Quit laughing at me and get up here.”

“I don’t think m&ms fix everything.” He shook his head as he climbed the stairs.

“They don’t need to. Just need to soften the blows and warm him back up to the idea of forgiving me.”

“Right. Of course. How could I have ever doubted you?”

“I could do without the sarcasm, Best Friend.”

He however just laughed at me again. “Prowl. Come here, we have a treat for you.”

And of course at Blasters call he stuck his head out. I held up the color package for him to see and he inched out a little more. Maybe he hadn’t swam up like he usually had, but this was a start and at least he was considering it. I dumped a few of the colorful candies into Blasters palm. He dipped his hand into the water and Prowl cleared the distance with a flick of his tail. It was pretty neat to actually be able to see him so clearly. We thought his movements were graceful and effortless before, but without the mix of sand and other particles that shifted around him in the sea it was amazing to see he barely moved at all. His wing fins would shift the smallest amount, almost like a twitch, and with one flick of his tail he was moving far faster and smoother than it looked like he should have. Each of his movements were precise and not without thought. He knew what he had to do and how much effort he needed before he even moved.

“So you’re still upset with Jazz? Yeah I know what you mean. He can get on my nerves sometimes too.” Blaster glanced back at me as Prowl took the candy from his hand.

“What’s that supposed to mean? I am a delight.”

“Most of the time. You’re persistent, which can be annoying at times, you come up with schemes that are unnecessary in every way shape and form, and of course we can’t forget the fact that despite your chipper, music loving, and friend making personality you can be a devious bastard. Maybe you don’t like your sister too much but apparently you like her enough to prank her ex for a week.”

“Hey, my ‘schemes’ make people smile. Plus he was an asshole and shouldn’t have dumped her for that slut Lacey. They didn’t even last a month anyway.” I countered with a hint of defiance.

“Did he really deserve you hacking your way into his school account and replacing his debate report with a history report on pimps and hookers?”

“Yes. If he didn’t want his account to be hacked he shouldn’t of had his password set as his dog’s name. He bragged about it enough.” I replied and he rolled his eyes.

“...Your Schemes make everyone uneasy.”

“Oh really? Because I’m pretty sure my last ‘scheme’ was your surprise birthday party.”

“You led me into a room blindfolded to get ambushed with silly string and then you mixed mentos in with the ice bucket and way too many times to count someones drink exploded.”

“Hey it was fun. It was a great party.”

“Ok yeah it was fun, but I still think you could step back a bit sometimes.” He relented.

“That’s what I thought.” I grinned as I made an attempt to offer Prowl some m&ms only for him to turn away. “Really? I thought we had something special.”

Blaster took the chance to laugh at my misfortune once again. I was very tempted to shove him into the tank.

First

Masterpost

#brightdarkness #fanfic #jazz #merformers #transformers #mer!prowl!#merprowl #prowl #transformers jazz #transformers prowl #transformers barricade #barricade #transformers blaster #blaster

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cryscendo · 10 months ago

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#yall are delusional#i have SO much beef with duets idcccccc#i’m not about to pretend that i don’t#one of the homophobia eps of all time and i’ll say that!!!

literally literally literallyyyy. let me second that with my whole heart. once upon a time about 3 years ago i decided to put on a random lil fun glee episode and picked duets and i ended up with so much hate in my heart lmao. mostly for finn. it fucking sucks and made me mad and also just sad for kurt

also river deep mountain high is overrated, just to keep being controversial lol. but its my truth

im looking up "anti finn hudson" on my blog archive and the whole month of october 2020 is just about 2x04 alksjfsdlkfs

i feel youuuuuuuuu!!!

and i think that i realize now that people think fondly of finn bc of cory. but i feel like its important to separate cory from finn when it comes to perception of the two of them. we as a society should be smart enough to know that cory and finn are NOT the same people

also i just hate that they basically put exactly ONE banger in the ep (le jazz hot) and expect us to forgive for every other atrocity that happened in the ep

like how can people TRULY watch finn be homophobic on sam’s behalf towards his own brother and be okay with it???? “No means no” but finn is the only one actually saying no in this equation. like how did they frame an entire ep around making kurt feel bad about liking a boy. (though i shouldn’t be surprised they love doing that)

it feels honestly like sometimes, finn wants to erase every kindness that anyone ever shows kurt

i’m with you on the duets beef foreverrrrrr

#glee #kurt hummel #sam evans #anti finn hudson #episode: duets #angelhummel #asks #if this creates tension idc im speaking my truth!!!!!

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aheathen-conceivably · 11 months ago

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🍭🧡🖤❤️‍🔥🧸sorrrrry that's a whole heck of a lot but i just got carried away... for antoine and zelda please!!

MAM I am honored. Happens that I’m in a Zelda/Antoine mood. I do wonder why that could be…

🍭 What's something they can never agree on (big or small)?

….Violette. That’s all imma say on that 🙊

🧡 Who said 'I love you' first?

Honestly? Great question. Like these two went from longing, to deeply in love, to “welp I guess we’re living together and eternally soulmates now” without ever uttering how they felt. Feels pretty on brand for them, doesn’t it?

But looking back on it now, I absolutely have no doubt that this is when Antoine first told her he loved her (because of course his emotions would get the better of his stoicism first)…

Although this is the moment that he knew he loved her…

And when she realized that she loved him…. 😭

🖤 What is their biggest regret in their relationship so far (or in the future, if you don't mind giving spoilers)?

Oh baby you already know. Antoine so very deeply regrets how he handled things at the end of the 1920s, more specifically damn near every choice he made from when he let Zelda go to England alone to turning down Giorgio’s original offer to buy the farm out West. He’s fully convinced himself that if he had made that jump at the right moment, he could have actually sold the jazz club for some fraction of what it was worth, and they wouldn’t be in such a precarious monetary situation as they are in now.

Y’all just keep this in mind because it will weigh on him forever. It will influence his choices both good and bad. His willingness to talk to Zelda but also sacrifice for her if he thinks it’s what she wants/needs because he’ll regret that forever. My boy simply doesn’t know any other way.

As far as Zelda? I don’t think it’s so much that she’s more forgiving of herself, but that’s she’s worked through some of the mistakes she’s made with Antoine, like ignoring his pain and over relying on him emotionally during the first stages of their relationship when she was generally much more immature. She’s made efforts to counteract that, so I don’t think she sees it as a regret any longer. Now in the future though…. 👀

❤️‍🔥 Which one is more adventurous in the bedroom? Which one has more experience?

Come on now, we know this one has gotta go to Antoine. I wouldn’t so much say adventurous, just because I don’t think either of them would fall under the umbrella of how I think of that term. Mostly because even though Antoine is much more experienced, he had never had sex with someone he loved before; so his primarily concern was always making sure Zelda was comfortable, even when one could say he was moving her into elements of herself that may be considered more “adventurous” for the time period. Y’all can use y’all imaginations and reference today’s spice post for the rest thank you very much 😌

🧸 BONUS! Include one of your favorite moments between them!

One?! One!! Well now that’s just cruel. Come on it’s love day! How about a montage instead?

#welp gunna go cry now #I cut so many pictures out of that montage because the LOVE y’all the LOVE #anywho 🤧#Antoine Duplanchier extra #Zelda darlington extra #ask game #simblr ask game

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f0xgl0v3 · 3 months ago

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Gang I realized I’ve dropped off the face of the earth like super duper sorry uh. In news, school started. I’m in twelfth night as Feste, and.. SoN stuff. Happening, Octavian and Michael girdle quest is being written and chapter three, four, and five— therefore the public official super rad announcement of it is soon, both soon to be done and like all that jazz. Uh, SoN re-imagining still going on, I started stranger things and I have.. Octavian news?

Sort of. I have his stupid convoluted name beginning to be laid out, he has a really weird mix of modern naming scheme and traditional Roman (because his mummy is not native to New Rome) and uh, all I can hand you is

Julianus is in there, just because I like the name and something something the Julius family name or whatever uh Julius Caesar.. something. Something. The pair of twins have Apollinaris and Artemisia (I know Artemis is Greek but like somewhere down the line the Greeks under Roman control named some of their kids after the Grecian names and I like Artemisia the painter and I can’t find the Diana equivalent and it works if they are like. Tributes to the patron gods of the house and then there’s like parallels to how the family views their kids and it’s a whole thing) but yeah. Octavian gets to have Julianus in there

Now the fun part. The South Sudanese parts of his name because I decided his mummy’s dad is from South Sudan. Forgive me if I, get anything wrong from my research obviously I am not south Sudanese however. Octavian’s grandfather gave each of his grandkids traditional names to help guide them (they also say stuff about a character because you don’t just name a character without giving their name reason. Especially not someone with such a comically absurd name as Octavian)

So he got Nyok Nihal in his name. Are those both first names? I think so, but Octavian’s entire name is just kinda first names and then his last names slapped together and New Rome has an entirely different naming signature because it is rooted in Roman naming schemes but has morphed due to the outside demigods coming in and therefore is almost its own thing. But also no.

Anyway anyways, those two parts of his name, he probably gets called them separately if anyone uses them (not foreshadowing to something in BoO) but Nihal from what I read usually has to do with growth, new beginnings, spring, life, success. But then Nyok is like, humility and kindness and they tie into his arc that would happen after BoO and in ToA and like- argfhhhhh. It’s him stepping into those names after not feeling like he belongs to them for such a long time

Also uh. Octavian’s grandpa is the GOAT, unproblematic king. We love him, Stan my man.

Along with that, something something. Michael Kahale and his whole name that I don’t have to change because it already fits in with his whole arc and the fact that he has to try and be the one to protect new Rome and its peoples and be a strong foundation but he just wants to go home to his family and isn’t really a military leader guy, that and the pressure with being a Son of Venus and whatever. Like I’ll probably get into it more if I ever deep dive a lot of these characters names, yall know id bring something insane for Bryce or whatever lol.

On that note too, Mercury has a birthday now! Not on topic whatsoever but her official birthday is September 29th, also Mr. pompey the greats birthday. He’s my favorite guy and that makes Mercury’s birthday plant Amaranth and the symbolism lines up there and I really like that also it looks like Mercury. But she gets a little birthday and that’ll probably affect her

Wow Kleos is scattered right now lol. Uh, maybe I’ll get a Bryce Lawerence workshopped backstory out soon, or this one background character in stranger things that I’ve pretty much hijacked (pure fuel guy my beloved). But I’ll see you all later, goodnight, farewell, sweet dreams!!

#hehe :3 #idk how to tag this #pjo hoo toa #hoo #hoo octavian #hoo headcanon #pjo octavian #kind of a rant #idk lol #okay bye

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uselessheretic · 2 years ago

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sorry if this is out of left field, but i’ve been thinking abt it for a while…i would consider myself a passive izzy enjoyer and i am not at all an “izzy loved the toe cutting” person, /however/, I feel like you (the general you, not you specifically) can’t deny that he was happy about it after the fact? like the next day the “blackbeard is himself again” line he is definitely jazzed abt that and part of the demonstration that blackbeard is himself is the toe mutilation

also i’ve been wanting to ask more active izzy lovers/supporters, again i enjoy the man and am interested to see where his story goes but i will never ever forgive him for what he did to ed when he was trying to heal, is that something izzy stans don’t think about? don’t care about? take it as a given that everyone agrees was fucked up it so it just never gets brought up? sorry i’m not trying to put you in any specific group if you don’t want to be or assume where you stand but i enjoy reading your meta so was interested if you had any thoughts about it

i feel like a lot of it is up to interpretation! there's not generally one opinion held on things, and i've seen different ways people have read those scenes.

i know that i've seen quite a few people challenge the idea that izzy is "happy" when he does his "blackbeard is himself again" but it's really just how you read it. when you look at how he smiles there, it feels kinda? off?? forced. honestly, i don't think he's actually glad about it, but i also don't think izzy is aware that he's not. i feel like a lot of his emotions ep10 is very mixed up and muddy where he's largely acting from an emotional place while not even knowing what that place is. whether he's actually glad in the moment is something you can read multiple ways imo, but i do feel like even if read as "he's happy this happened" most izzy people would still be like "but that's not gonna last." what izzy thinks he wants isn't in line with what he actually wants, and i expect that to come to a head in s2 as izzy's forced to address the actual root of his issues surrounding ed.

as for the being cruel to ed when ed's sad, again, i just think that's up to the fan. one place izzy stans defs differ is that the majority of them don't view whatever ed was doing as healing. i think it's a mixed bag personally, where ed's first reaction to heartbreak of doing things like reaching out to lucius is good! but it's not perfect where he really comes off like the drunk girl crying in the bathroom when singing his song to the crew. it's definitely better than the fucking kraken though lol but even with ed's song you can see how his interpretation of lucius' "let go and be born again" goes a bit over his head and straight back into suicide ideation. the talent show and the crew's agreement towards it feels kinda like damage control, and another continuation of ed being avoidant to his actual issues. he never actually mentions stede during this time and the first time his name comes up is with izzy who's being an absolute cunt, but it evokes a strong reaction from ed. i don't think ed would be happy if anybody mentioned stede.

in general though, i feel like it is kinda taken as a given that izzy's actions were fucked up, but that it's not on the same level as the way people in fandom talk about it. izzy was being purposefully cruel. he was trying to hurt ed. there can be some reasoning behind it, about whether ed's behavior is threatening their lives or that izzy's acting out from feeling abandoned yadda yadda yadda, but it doesn't excuse it anymore so than it excuses ed's actions in retaliation.

the show is about imperfect people where characters like stede and ed in another show would be straight up villains. stede's literally a deadbeat dad who abandoned his family. if this story was from alma's pov we'd want him dead. ed made fang kill his dog! that on its own is almost always considered an irredeemable offense that automatically excludes a character from redemption, but it doesn't in ofmd. izzy's actions are bad, but they're no worse than stede or ed's. i feel like fans just take it as another continuation of how fucked up ed and izzy's relationship is where you can see the way that they escalate throughout the season dragging each other down deeper.

there's no need to justify it or defend it because why would there be? he fucked up and was a dick. for a lot of izzy stans, that doesn't exclude him from sympathy though. it's just adding flavor to the everything bagel of their cringefail marriage.

#ofmd

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lazerswordweilder · 6 months ago

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You know the song Killer Queen? So I was thinking it fit Danny well but not all the way, because he’s a good guy, so let me introduce to you my Killer Queen au!

Danny is trans in this au, only instead of Amity being really accepting everyone shunned him or said it was just a phase he’d grow out of, this obviously had bas effects/affects on him. He never really confirms that it was just a stunt, but acts like it was nothing IT WAS EVERYTHING and laughs it off. He grows up as a fake, slowly losing himself.

His deadname is Daniel (which I’m not sure if feminine or not so maybe Danielle I don’t know), hence why he prefers Danny, which he has yet to get anyone to call him.

And Danny’s really pretty in this au, to the point where it means people forgive him for his little stunt about being trans it wasn’t a stunt, why won’t you listen! WHY WON’T YOU ACCEPT HIM! despite their homophobia, boys want him and girls want to be him.

Even Sam and Tucker (who’d grown up with homophobia ingrained into them) thought it was just a stunt for popularity and believed Danny was truely just a popular bully. His parents also shipped Jazz off to collage as they saw how smart she was, because in this au they aren’t neglectful just really homophobic. This means there’s nothing to support him and nothing holding him back leading to a Dan like scenario.

Danny goes into the portal and presses the button on purpose because he wants to die, he puts on a hazamat suit because his parents made him (like I mentioned they aren’t anything close to neglectful here, not after Vlads accident) but they weren’t in the room when he dies. Without support he freaks out and hides it from them, and as he’s fundamentally different here, mostly in ghostly ways.

Dannys obsession is neither space nor protection, and he isn’t an Ancient but his power levels are scarily close, his obsession is being a boy and revenge on those who misgendered him and forced him into this! Although I’d imagine if he ever got help his obsessions would shift and change respectively, he’d need to be male so that one would stay the same but be taken out more healthily, but his revenge obsession would probably shift to something else, I’m not sure if it’d be something he likes like Space (which would presumably only happen if he rediscovered it) or if it would be something closer to teaching humans and ghosts about lgbtq+ because that is an alternative to revenge (and also it fits his canon thing of bridging the gap, and getting humans and ghosts to coexist only now it’s homophobias and lgbtq+s).

But either way I doubt Danny’ll be able to get that help for a while, either a while as in, thousands of years later some ghost hero tries to overthrow him and realised there was hope for him, or a while as in, Jazz comes back home from collage and realises how desperately Danny needs help and helps him. Either way was assisted by Clockwork, who Danny eventually meets. No idea where Dan, Ellie, Vlad, and Jack and Maddie fit in though. Sam and Tucker either aren’t main characters here or Jazz forces Danny to talk to them so he gets some good friends.

His name probably isn’t Danny Phantom for so many reasons, he’ll want to be as far away from Fenton after how the treated him, he’s not going to be a hero (not in the way he does in the show anyways), ect. He’ll keep Danny because that’s his new name and he presumably wants a last name, I was thinking Danny Death but that seemed too cheesy.

I think it might actually be Danny Pariah! As Pariah means outcast (haha a tyrant king is called Pariah) and also because he claims it to cement his title as king and his defeat of Pariah Dark, he’d probably go by High King Pariah or something which gets confusing so Pariah Dark went by King Dark just for convince sake okay. I’m just going to call Pariah Dark by his full name and Danny just Pariah for his ghost form and Danny for him in general for connivence.

Dannys ghost half/form looks different too like this:

Pariahs hostile look - his hair is flames traveling down his back to the floor, he’s wearing a blood stained suit with a dress over it, when he takes off his clothes his b00bs have deep cuts and are bleeding, he was self harm scars dripping down his arms, his eye lashes are long and are constantly wet his glowing green tears, his skin is a very pale white and he’s very skinny and almost inhumanly tall because beauty standards, he has fully green eyes which are shaped like Vlads, he has long ears that have piercings with pearls all the way up (all of which look painful), when he defeats Pariah Dark he wears a royal outfit and his long hair is done up painfully pulling at his scalp.

Pariahs passive look - his hair is the same length as his human form and it’s got a soft glow, he wears a white t-shirt with a black long sleeve shirt to cover the self harm scars and light blue sweatpants, he gets a binder (which doesn’t hurt at all or cause problems breathing because it’s ghost thing and I want to give him something good), he only has scars not bleeding wounds from self harm, he isn’t crying but he had tear marks down his face, his skin is his normal tan colour and his body shape is normal too (not extremely skinny or tall), his eyes have seperate (white) scleras and (green) irises but no pupils and are a human shape, he has pointy ears longer than a humans and only one black ring in each ear, when he defeats Pariah Dark then he has no earrings on one ear and a crown and a ring earring on the other but isn’t obviously royalty.

Pariah happy look - his hair is short like in the show and it defies gravity but doesn’t look like flames, he wears a cape made from a bed sheet and a onesie that has the black and white patterns of his hazmat suit, he’s biologically a boy no need for a binder, no self harm scars or blood or anything, he doesn’t have tears or tear marks or puffy eyes he looks okay happy even, he looks younger than he really is (both because he’s a very young ghost and because he never got to have his childhood and when he’s happy he feels young) and has baby fat and chubby cheeks, his eyes are like a normal humans expect his green irises which look hypnotising not toxic or terrifying, he has slightly point ears, when he defeats Pariah Dark he wears a too-big paper crown lopsided on his head. He also has sharp teeth (like if I were to draw them I’d to zigzags) not fangs.

Pariah looks like the hostile description whenever a human’s near, however when alone with ghosts or animals (who dont attack or misgender him) he’s his Passive look and he’s kind, much more like the Danny we know and love, only much more reserved, traumatised, distrusting, ect. He’s rarely happy

Despite not trusting any humans Pariah doesn’t physically attack them on sight but won’t hesitate if they set him off or if he’s already in a bad mood. No one knows what gender he is (or that his issue is that they’re misgendering him) because he attacks anyone who misgenders him (and automatically shifts to his hostile look if he isn’t already in it) but doesn’t respond to he/him as he’s not used to it which causes confusion and ends in many unnecessary deaths.

Danny already cut his hair the day he came out because he thought he’d be accepted so he grows it out, only he has his accident part way through growing it out leading to an eternal mullet and he also feels much less human as he isn’t accepted, not as himself, so due to having less connection to humanity more ghost features leak over to his human form.

Dannys hair is always snow white and doesn’t seem weighed down by gravity (although it doesn’t outright float), his beauty turns from popular kid to ethereal inhuman, he has long sharp fangs sometimes, he uses overshadowing to manipulate people or tricks them into promise, he subtly and physically change to keep up with beauty trends and the individual preferences of people around him (even if that means changing his skeleton).

I imagine one of Dannys powers would be that people would have to keep their promises to him and that they can’t disobey him, this works on any gender not just boys but I’d imagine if he were less powerful boys would be easier due to them being attracted to him in the straight way. He can also force boys (and only boys for the same straight reason) to fall in love with him even if they usually wouldn’t be attracted to girls. And his final power is that people are automatically drawn to him, he stands out in a crowd and people chose him automatically.

Danny gets quickly corrupted by his hate, as a half human he holds back just enough to not murder anyone immediately, still appearing human. He will get his revenge.

Every boy Danny dates disappears, he seduces them in school then kills them on the first date, fangs ripping their lips at the first kiss, quickly escalating to his claws cutting through their flesh, mauling them, their screams muffled by his finger to their neck. Their corpses disappear. No trace of blood is ever seen and the police drop the missing cases why try to find a phantom a ghost.

Every ground of girls who’re friends with Danny disappear, they get closer and come over for a sleep over, he wakes them up one by one eyes glowing green in the dark, his claws dig into their brains, their guts get smeared over their sleeping beds and clothes, he moves onto the next girl. Their corpses disappear. Danny runs to his parents in hysterics who blame ghosts if only they knew.

Every person who Pariah kills is found, their corpses made into twisted art pieces, blood splattered on walls, claw marks in their skin, bones broken to unnatural angles. No one messes with him (as a ghost). And believe it or not it works, they’re respectful, they don’t mention girls, they obey rules of the dead (from many cultures), and he ignores them.

But the jocks and cheerleaders? The popular kids? The bullies? Oh they’ve got hell waiting for them (literally). Green eyes staring at them in the shadows, they hear noises coming form the dark, they having nightmares where they’re ripped apart and skewered and killed brutally by Pariah. They get paranoid after years of this, they get almost crazy by the time they’re 17, by the time for prom.

Anyways, by the time Dannys 15 (his accident still happened at 14) Vlad releases Pariah Dark or Pariah Dark gets released by someone else or something, for whatever reason Pariah Dark takes Amity into the Infinite Realms like he does in the show. And Danny beats him (presumably with the Fenton exoskeleton thing), gaining the title of King DO YOU HEAR THAT! KING! KING! NOT QUEEN and in doing so he becomes High King Pariah.

Unfortunately for the citizens of the Realms, Pariah is barely better than Pariah Dark. I mean, he’s not actively killing ghosts, but he abuses his power sometimes and is a bad ruler, barely paying attention to anything. But he’s not as bad as Pariah, and arguably more powerful than him. So they let Danny rule.

Also Freakshows whole mind control thing never works because Freakshow is obnoxious and Danny immediately decides to kill him when he sees the ghost forced slaves, the whole ‘unleash your dark side’ thing only made him more cruel for the days it was on. He kills him to fast for Freakshow to really control him at all, Danny keeps the staff but it clashes with his morals so much he never uses it.

Is Vlad trans too??? Is that why he moved to Wisconsin? Did jack and Maddie purposely abandon him after they realised he was trans (presumably around the time of the accident)? He took it better than Danny.

#I’m going to animate the song eventually #but I’m still improving at not that good at art rn #so I’ll be kind of bad #if I ever finish it #lazerswordweilder writes #oh and I used he/him pronouns during all of this because I couldn’t bring myself to misgender him #Killer Queen au #fuck organisation #you can try to read this if you dare

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