#I don’t know if I will ever financially recover from this

[cursed-anduknowit]

Kid Law has a message for you guys:

[nuka]

Call me delulu, but I woke up with hope in my heart today.

It's only been 2 months since the show was cancelled. WBD is run by an incompetent fool. WBD previously said they'd sell Coyote vs. Acme, but then made it impossible for anyone to buy it. All streaming services are struggling financially at the moment.

Daddy Jenkins had to tell us we've reached the end of the road, because that's the reality right now. Either WBD made it impossible for anyone to buy the show, or the actual realistic price was just too high for other streamers at the moment even if they wanted to buy it. “Many complimentary meetings, conversations, etc” sounds like someone was interested.

DJ and everyone else who worked on the show need to be able to move on, so they can make a living from other projects. They’ve all been holding their breath just in case they can start filming after all. The fans need to move on in the sense that we can't expect a renewal "any day now", like we did for 2 months. We can still hope that we'll see season 3 one day, but now we can be realistic about the chances of it happening in the immediate future.

Everyone who worked on this show has loved it so dearly that I'm certain that if season 3 gets greenlit in the future, they'll all want to work on it again. As long as DJ is in, the others are too. The Revenge can be rebuilt. The time that has passed can be explained in the story, if it needs explaining at all. If some actors won't be able to return, we'll get new characters added to our family, and we'll embrace them just like we embraced all the new characters in season 2.

Depending on what the problem for the pick up was, things might change very quickly, or they might take a few years. Who knows, if we continue being loud, a streaming service that quickly passed on the show in January might take interest in it later. A streaming service that offered too little might make a better offer, and WBD might accept just to get rid of us (because we're back to calling Max out on this bullshit and it's not a good look for them). Or, once the industry recovers a bit, a streaming service might be willing to reconsider spending a big amount of money on this show. And if WBD set an impossible price for the show this time, they might shop it around for a more reasonable price once Zaslav is out (or even greenlight season 3 themselves, but that’s delulu level 200). Even if we don't get a season 3, we might still get a movie, or a comic book, or a script book, or a blu-ray release, or the Jenkins Cut. And honestly, if someone was to announce they've picked up the show in a year or two... that's not a long time at all.

Pirate Daddy said that our campaign was noticed across the industry. They hear and see our love for this show. They know we're here for the show if it's ever to return. They know this show has potential.

So let’s keep having fun in the fandom. Keep being loud about Our Flag Means Death. Keep using the hashtags. Keep making fanart. Keep shouting about how unfair this cancellation was. We don’t have to do it with the same intensity as during the campaign (I know we’re all tired and it’s completely okay to step away if you need/want to), but as long as we as a fandom are consistent, they’ll see there’s a demand that just won’t go away.

There is always hope. It’s not the same kind of hope we had before January 9th, and it’s not the kind we had until March 7th. But there are so many variables, and so little time has passed. Who knows what the industry will look like in a year or two. I’d rather believe in a future that might just hold a pleasant surprise for us than throw in the towel completely.

[mornington-the-crescent]

The Poll

So, for those who don’t know, I put up a poll of, “Who was the worst American President?” The list was FDR, Woodrow Wilson, Lyndon Johnson, Herbert Hoover, and Richard Nixon. It got up to about 13k notes before I deleted it, because I was tired of the notes clogging up my feed. And the results were... telling.

About 75-80% of all the notes were, “Where is Reagan/Andrew Jackson?!?” Many of the rest, though, can be seen below:

What this tells me is that more than ten thousand people didn’t have an education; they had an indoctrination.

You want to hear it? All right, buckle up, because it’s time for a stroll down memory lane.

Why was FDR a bad president?

It is almost hard to know where to begin with this. Let’s start with one of the most basic ones: The belief that FDR got us out of the Depression.

Point of fact, No the fuck he did not.

Making American Depressed

If you ask almost any historian or economist, they will tell you flat-out that not only did the New Deal not end the Great Depression, but that it made it significantly longer and worse than it would have been otherwise. Hoover bears some of the blame for this, but the pseudo-socialist dogshit that was the New Deal bears the brunt of the blame for this one.

The stock market crashed in late October, 1929. Two months later, unemployment peaked at 9%. Over the next several months, unemployment started to fall, down to 5-6% by the spring of the next year. Half a year after the crash, unemployment had not hit double digits. Hoover’s intervention, though, did cause unemployment to reach double digits. Roosevelt was elected in 1932 and took office in 1933, and unemployment did not fall out of double digits for the remainder of the 1930′s. The thing that actually pulled the US out of the Depression was the second World War; turns out that removing roughly 12 million people from the labor force to go and fight does wonders for unemployment numbers. FDR even said that Doctor New Deal was replaced by Doctor Win-The-War.

This was hardly the first economic downturn in American history. For the first 150 years of this country, there were downturns all the time. And what the government did was nothing, and the economy recovered on its own. But Roosevelt represents the first massive large-scale intervention in the economy. And government intervention in the economy slows economic recovery; when you have no idea what the government is going to do tomorrow in regards to the economy, it’s hard to make smart financial decisions, so you just don’t bother. After all, why do anything if tomorrow, the rules of the game are going to change?

Separation of Powers Who?

FDR issued more executive orders than any other President of the 20th century. He may, in fact, have issued more than all the other Presidents of the 20th century combined. Rather than letting Congress, the legislative branch of government, you know, legislate, he preferred to try to do everything himself.

The President is supposed to be the weakest branch of the government, but Roosevelt did everything he could to try to establish its supremacy over the other branches. When Congress didn’t give him his way, he used executive orders. When the Supreme Court challenged some of his acts as unconstitutional, his response was to threaten to have them replaced, or to simply pack the court with judges more sympathetic to his aims. This is a man who was openly contemptuous of the concept of the rule of law.

Here’s a fun entry from the notes:

Hey, you want to talk about fascists? Actual, honest-to-goodness Fascists, not just the modern definition (i.e. anyone a nanometer to the right of Noam Chomsky)? Let’s talk about the originals. Let’s talk about the inventor of Fascism, Benito motherfucking Mussolini. And how FDR openly admired him, and was “deeply impressed by what he has accomplished”, calling Fascism the “cleanest, most efficiently operating piece of social machinery [he had] ever seen”, and that it made him “envious”. And Mussolini, for his part, said of Roosevelt that, “Reminiscent of Fascism is the principle that the state no longer leaves the economy to its own devices … Without question, the mood accompanying this sea change resembles that of Fascism.”

When the guy who fucking invented Fascism is saying that he thinks that you are also doing Fascism, then maybe you’re not a good person.

Concentration- I Mean, Internment Camps

And just like his buddies on the other side of the Atlantic, right when World War 2 kicked off, Roosevelt thought it would be a good idea to take “undesirables” and throw them into prison camps. Roughly 20 thousand Italian- and German-Americans, American citizens, were thrown into camps, simply for the crime of having ancestors from countries we were at war with. And then, of course, there’s the 120 thousand Japanese-Americans who were likewise rounded up and put into prison camps, two thirds of whom were natural-born American citizens.

Almost 150 thousand American citizens, thrown into literal concentration camps, without the bother and expense of due process, stripped of their constitutional rights simply on the basis of race.

As for the concentration camps set up in Europe by the Nazis, however? Despite being told of their existence by people who had escaped, as well as journalists and lawyers from Germany, once American planes gained the ability to attack those camps, to shut them down? FDR refused to grant them permission to do so.

Commander in Thief

Executive Order 6102 outlawed the private ownership of gold, allowing the government to confiscate all of it. Once that was accomplished, the Gold Reserve Act allowed him to change the value of gold, debasing America’s currency (which was on a gold standard at the time), which permitted him to steal literally billions of dollars from American citizens, without any compensation.

World War, Too

There is evidence to suggest that Roosevelt knew about the imminent attack on America by Japan in December of 1941. He discussed with several high-ranking people in the War Department, and in his own cabinet, how to get Japan to fire the first shot in the war, so that he could get America involved. It would make sense: His oil embargo was designed to provoke a Japanese response, so as to draw America into the war. And once America was in the war, ordered the Philippines to be abandoned, outright lying that there was an army waiting to retake it once it had been conquered by Japan.

And as the war dragged on, he got quite cozy with Uncle Joe, Stalin himself. He helped to repatriate two million people to Russia, who very much did not want to go back, many of them ending up either in the gulags, or simply killed outright. And his constant concessions to Stalin helped the Soviet Union hold on to eastern Europe, setting the stage for the Cold War. Even when he was informed of Soviet spies within the American government, and provided evidence of their disloyalty and subversion, he simply let them keep at it.

Racism, Racism, and more Racism

Remember how you cheered when lynching was made a federal crime a few months ago, and asked why it hadn’t been done before now? Well, the main reason was good ol’ FDR himself. A bill was proposed in the Congress which would have made lynching a federal crime, and Roosevelt refused to pass it.

Or what about during the Olympic games in Berlin, when black athletes from America took home multiple gold medals? Roosevelt invited the white athletes to the White House, but not a single black one. Jesse Owens, who won four gold medals, said, “Hitler didn’t snub me --- it was [Roosevelt] who snubbed me. The president didn’t even send me a telegram.”

And then there was his nomination of a KKK member to the Supreme Court; Hugo Black, who had zero judicial experience, was nominated simply because he supported the New Deal.

He also was of the opinion that America was, and ought to remain, a white and Protestant country, and that too many Jews was inherently a bad thing, because of how distasteful he found them. He boasted that there was no Jewish blood in his veins, as a mark of pride. He even went so far as to turn away ships of Jewish refugees, fleeing Nazi tyranny in Europe.

In conclusion

FDR was a massive piece of shit. He massively overstepped his constitutionally-appointed bounds at every available opportunity, massively expanding the power of the Presidency at the expense of all other parts of government, and at the expense of individual liberty. He was openly racist and anti-Semitic. His economic policies brought ruin upon the American economy. He openly praised fascism right up until the moment that it was no longer politically expedient to do so, and switched to deferring to authoritarian communism instead. Almost everything that you hate about the modern United States can be traced directly back to this one man.

The fact that he is remembered as not just a good President, but one of the best Presidents, shows how utterly broken American education is.

[faggot-vampire-dies-epicly]

Respite

Summary: After a really bad argument with your brother Mike, you are left feeling distraught after both of you said things you shouldn't have. As you're struggling to come to terms with what happened, you find comfort in the person you least expected. | Words: 4.225K. Requested by @xxinmyfnafworldxx.

Warnings: Mentions of child disappearance. Mentions of poverty. Cursing, miscommunication, hurt/comfort, family drama, family issues, unresolved romantic tension. Smoking. A bit of an age gap, since Reader is younger than Mike and Vanessa. Fem!Schmidt!Reader.

A/N: Okay, yeah, I know this took long but I was busy, sorry. School is beating my ass, my cousin got into a car accident and a stray dog bit me in the leg. It may not have the same quality as the last one, but I did put in a lot of effort, and I do like how this turned out, so I hope you guys like it too.

Main Masterlist | Vanessa Masterlist | AO3

Nebraska, 1987.

“During autumn, Nebraska is colder than at home. So don’t take off your sweater.”

That was the first thing your dad said when he helped you get out of the car.

Garrett and Mike were already playing tag around the campsite. You chuckled and ran after them, following them into the woods.

That night, at the police station, as you sat beside the only sibling you had left now, you realized your dad was right. Nebraska was indeed colder than Hurricane.

November, 2000.

The past months had been rough.

With Max’s disappearance, you had no choice but to quit your job and stay home to look after Abby while Mike was at work.

After all, Mike had an accident (that he didn’t want to tell you anything about) which caused him to lose another job, which meant even more cost-cutting since he couldn’t keep one job for too long, nor get a high-paying one.

Abby had been there with him the night of the “accident” and she didn’t want to say a thing about it either.

It was driving you insane.

At least things with Aunt Jane had gotten better. But that only was because you had found her passed out in the living room the same night Mike had been injured, and she never came back to bother you and your siblings ever since.

So currently, you were struggling financially, like you always did. 

Mike always got the worst of it.

The smallest portion at dinner, the cheapest clothes, the most worn-out shoes.

You lived in a perpetual state of worrying about him. He would just give you a tired smile, and say, “It’s alright.”

You knew it wasn’t.

Everything changed after Mike lost his job at that old restaurant.

Mike and Abby’s relationship had been magically fixed, or at least that’s how it felt. 

She wasn’t shutting both of you out anymore, and Mike had become more calm and understanding.

There was also Vanessa, the police girl who had stayed a couple of weeks at your house. She was Abby and Mike’s friend and had also been involved in whatever happened in that old place.

Mike had let her stay in the house while recovering from whatever injury she had suffered.

She had slept on the couch. Sometimes you would go to the kitchen for water in the middle of the night, and you would find her awake, looking through the window.

Vanessa never talked much, at least not with you, she seemed to like Mike more. But you would still stay with her until she whispered goodnight and slipped under the blankets.

Sometimes, you would stay even after she had fallen asleep. You were the only one who could wake her from her nightmares after all.

Then she had moved out and you barely saw her. Sometimes she would drop Abby off from school, or Mike would invite her to dinner.

Vanessa was… fine. 

It’s not that you didn’t like her. 

No. 

You liked her very much.

But you didn’t have time to acknowledge what that meant. Much less let her know.

 Not that you were thinking of actually doing it.

After all, it seemed like everyone's life was improving, except for yours.

You still couldn’t go to college like you wanted to, since there were no babysitters around to look out for your little sister.

Mike was still jumping from job to job, getting paid barely enough to help with the mortgage and the basic groceries. And you couldn’t help with that either, since nobody wanted to hire you just for the part-time, and even if they wanted to, Mike wouldn’t approve of it.

And even worse, you couldn’t even go out to make friends, because, even if your older brother had changed, he was still as overbearing and overprotective with you.

You were sure that if you went to look at the meaning of overzealous on the library computers, his name would be the first thing to come up.

It always drove you nuts.

Even if you were young, you were already an adult. You didn’t need him to always keep an eye on you.

You understood it was just a trauma response. You really did.

You were there the day Garrett was kidnapped, after all. You recalled the horrified look on Mike’s face as they were interrogating him. His cheeks were tear-stained, his eyes red-rimmed, and he was so pale anyone could have mistaken him as a ghost.

You could remember him saying, “I just looked away for a second. I swear it was just a second,” to your parents' sorrowful faces over and over again.

Still, it didn’t mean you had to suffer such consequences. You wanted to live a normal life, as normal as you could, regardless of what had happened.

Abby sighed profoundly and shifted on her seat, frowning at her drawing. 

You were in the kitchen, making dinner, and close enough to her to notice her discontent, so you pushed the salad you just finished aside and looked at her.

“What’s wrong, Abz?”

She made a face, meeting your gaze. “My friend from school invited me to have a sleepover tonight, but Mike won’t let me go.”

You frowned. When did this kid make friends at school?

And why were you just finding out about it?

“Well, uh,” you trailed off. “Did he give you a reason? Like, is he going to stay late at work tonight?”

Abby shook her head, looking back at her drawing, and put the crayon she was holding down on the table.

Just then, as if you had summoned him, Mike opened the door and stepped into the house.

Abby and you turned to look at him as he took out his jacket, and stepped out of his shoes.

He smiled at Abby, first, ruffling her hair, and looked at her drawing.

“That’s a good one,” he murmured, looking at Abby. He then turned to look at you.

“What’s with that face?” Mike asked casually.

“Abby told me something interesting,” you said, focusing on the salad again.

Mike hummed, peeking into the pots on the stove, and checked what you were cooking. “What did she say?”

You huffed, setting the salad to the side again.

“Well, first of all,” you turned to look at him. “I have just been made aware that she has a friend in school.”

Mike chuckled softly, leaving the pots alone to face you. “Ah, yes. It’s true, she has a school friend.”

You huffed, frustrated. Did neither of them feel like this was important information? After all the time Abby had struggled to make real friends?

“And also,” you continued, “her friend invited her to a sleepover, and you didn’t allow it.”

Mike sighed, already tired from the conversation. “Yes, that’s true, too.”

“So, why can’t she go?” You crossed your arms.

Mike shrugged. “It's not safe for her.”

You scoffed. “You're unbelievable. It's just a sleepover. What's the worst that could happen? Kids consuming too much sugar? She asking her friend's mom to call you because she misses her room? ”

Mike huffed, shaking his head, and tried to walk away from the conversation.

You followed him across the hall and into his room.

“Come on, Mike. What's the worst that could happen? Seriously.”

Mike sighed, turning to face you while he tossed away his tie. “I don't know – I mean, we don't know these people. God knows what strange habits–”

“Are you hearing yourself?” you said, disbelief clear in your voice. “You’re accusing people you don’t know of being,” you gestured with your hands, “weirdos, just because you’re afraid of letting Abby out of your sight!”

Mike rolled his eyes, scoffing. “I'm not afraid, I'm just being careful! It's my job as an older brother–”

“You won't have control over her all her life. You know that, right?” You argued back. “She might be a kid right now but she’ll keep on growing and things will get out of hand, Mike.”

The conversion was turning into a whole-blown argument. You knew you shouldn't press Mike's buttons further, but it was too late to care about that.

“Y/N,” he said in a warning tone. “Don't start this again.”

You scoffed, “Start what, exactly?”

“You know what. I'm not in the mood to argue.”

“You're never in the mood for anything!” You snapped at him. “All you do is work,” you continued. “Or rather, try to keep your job and watch over us like you're our bodyguard. You are going to asphyxiate us with your intensity.”

“I'm just trying to keep you two safe!”

Your voices were raised so high that Abby could probably hear the discussion from the living room.

“Keep us safe–”

“Oh, please,” he practically mocked. “You know I have reasons!”

Before you could argue back, he continued.

“Abby is a kid. She doesn’t understand the dangers she could be in, and you,” Mike met your gaze, “you think I don't notice how you look at me sometimes? Like I'm ruining your life? Like you hate me?”

You huffed, “I don't hate you! I just– I just want some space, okay?”

Mike scoffed, but you ignored him.

“I want to be able to go out at night, to have a job, and make money not only for us to have something to eat, but to buy things for myself too. I want to stop worrying so much about you!”

You took a long breath, trying to calm down.

“I want a normal life. A normal, relaxing life, Mike. Where I can make friends and go on dates without having to sneak out because you won’t agree.”

“Y/N–” he tried to interrupt.

“No!” you cut him off. “You think I don’t know who I remind you of? You think I don't know that when you look at me, you think of Garrett? You think I don’t hear when you tell Abby I look just like him?”

“That’s not true!” he shook his head, now seemingly hurt. “Look, I'm just trying to look out for you! For you and Abby. I'm your big brother–” he said, exasperated. And that was your last straw.

“We don't need you to protect us! Did you forget what happened the last time you tried to look out for one of us?”

A deafening silence followed. Mike deflated, his words dying in his mouth.

You looked at each other for a second before you realized what had been said.

“Fuck,” you exhaled. “Mike, I'm sorr–”

“Get out.”

“But–” You approached him, and tried to take his hand but he cringed, pulling away.

“Please, just…” he trailed off, not looking at you. “Just leave.”

You looked around, thinking of what to do. 

Something, anything that could change the situation you were in.

But of course, there was nothing to do, at least not until Mike had calmed down.

So you left his room, looked at him one last time, and closed the door.

You stood still outside his door, letting everything sink in. You were still angry, but you also felt guilty.

Using Garrett’s kidnapping as an argument during the discussion was a low blow. If there was a hell, you were fucked.

Running your hands through your hair, you approached the living room.

Abby was still sitting at the dining table, eyes fixated on her now-finished drawing.

“Abby?” you called, softly.

She didn’t react. It was one of those moments when she felt stressed so she wouldn’t acknowledge you– or anyone, for that matter.

You sighed, took your jacket from the coat hanger, and stormed out of the house.

You walked for a while, just following the river.

After a good fifteen minutes, you stopped. It was cold, and your jacket wasn’t warm enough.

You sighed in frustration, kicking rocks into the water, and finally decided to sit on the grass.

“Was it really that serious?” You thought. After all, even if it was annoying, Mike's overprotectiveness had probably saved you from a lot of trouble.

You ripped up handfuls of grass as you stared at the water.

“Yes, it is,” you said out loud. Blaming him for Garrett’s disappearance was shitty, but you knew your anger was justified. Mike couldn’t keep being like this.

Not with you, and not with Abby, either. He needed to understand. To learn.

But how would he understand and learn if you only told him about your frustrations after bottling up and then exploding?

It wasn’t fair to him, either. Mike would just feel like you’re being antagonistic.

Grumbling, you rummaged through your jacket’s pockets. The wind had started to pick up and you needed something to warm up.

You pulled out a cigarette pack and a lighter from the front pocket of your jacket.

You huffed. Mike would kill you if he found out. 

Lighting the cigarette, you took a quick drag and as you put the items away again, you felt something strange in your pocket. 

Frowning, you placed the cigarette between your lips and reached into your pocket, pulling out a folded piece of paper.

Humming, you unfolded it without care, not remembering what it was.

You almost choked on the smoke.

It was a drawing from Abby.

She had given it to you a few weeks ago after you picked her up from school.

It was a drawing of you, her, Mike, and a little airplane toy. Garrett's favorite.

“God-fucking-dammit,” you said, putting the cigarette back in between your lips to avoid getting ash on the paper.

“Language,” a voice behind you said, and you jumped, turning around.

Standing there, with her blonde hair swaying slightly in the wind, was Vanessa.

“Great,” you thought.

Out of all the people you could have run into this situation, it had to be her.

You noted was wearing civilian clothes: jeans, a cheap-looking sweater, and a jacket. Her hair was also down. Very different from her usual everyday look.

“That’s bad for your lungs. You know that right?” she said, pointing to the cigarette between your lips.

You grumbled, turning to face the water again, and she took it as an invitation to sit beside you.

“I mean that,” Vanessa said, staring at you.

You took a drag and blew the smoke away from her. “I know.”

She hummed. “Does Mike know?”

You frowned, looking at your shoes while the cigarette slowly burned in your hand.

“There’s a lot of things Mike doesn’t know about me,” you answered, meeting her gaze.

You stared at each other for a moment before she spoke again. “Can I?” She said, pointing to the cig. You handed it to her, and she took a puff from the cig.

You smiled. “I thought you said it’s bad for your lungs. What changed?”

Vanessa rolled her eyes, blowing the smoke. She took another puff, then looked at you.

“Nothing has changed, it’s still bad,” and as she said it, she threw the cigarette into the water.

You gasped. “Hey, those are not cheap!”

It was her turn to smile then. “I know.”

You huffed. “Between this and Mike’s pills, I think you can be considered an environmental terrorist.”

Her smile faltered. “He told you about the pills?”

You nodded slowly, humming. “Mike tells me everything,” you said with a smile.

You paused, your mind returning to the night that he arrived limping and with several superficial wounds and scratches, and with a trembling Abby beside him.

“Almost everything,” you thought out loud.

Vanessa looked at the glistening water. “What makes you say that?”

You scoffed. “Come on. Something happened to him in that old pizzeria, and he won’t speak about it. Neither will Abby.”

You looked at her. She shifted uncomfortably under your gaze.

“And I’m assuming you won’t, either.”

She cleared her throat.

“It’s…” She paused for a moment, thinking of what to say. “It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s just something I shouldn’t be the one to tell you.”

You sighed, looking towards the water again. “Called it.”

You two stayed silent for a moment before you spoke up again. “How did you find me anyway?”

Vanessa sighed, rubbing her forehead with one hand.

“Oh,” you breathed out. “Of course.”

Mike had told her to find you.

“He's your brother, Y/N,” she said softly. “I'm sure he only wants what's best for you.”

You felt a twinge of annoyance.

"Yeah sure..." you said sarcastically, rolling your eyes. "He's always known what's best for me. Like when he convinced me to leave my job so I can stay home and be a housekeeper.”

Vanessa's brows furrowed. “He did?”

You sighed. “It's… more complicated than that, but… that's how it feels.”

A beat passed in silence.

“I know he's doing it because of Garrett,” you murmured. 

“Doing what?” Vanessa asked carefully.

“This. All of this…” You sighed. “Not letting Abby hang out with her new friend, convincing me to stay home and take care of her...”

She watched you intently, waiting for you to continue.

“I can't go out at night, he's constantly barging into our rooms, I can't date anyone,” you sighed, and she seemed to understand, her expression softening.

Slowly, Vanessa reached out to you, putting her hand on your shoulder.

"I understand that Mike can be overprotective at times, I can't deny that,” she said softly. "I know it must suck not being able to go anywhere or do anything without him always checking on you..." she sighs, looking you in the eyes empathetically. "But we both know he just wants to protect you, even if he’s doing it in the wrong way. He loves you dearly.”

You avoid her gaze, your eyes focusing on the grass underneath you.

“It's worse with me.”

“Why do you say that?”

You smile bitterly. “Because apparently, I’m the only one who looks just like Garrett.”

Silence.

“I–” She began but cut herself off.

“I just wish,” you continued, “he could just try to move on. At least now he's aware it wasn't his fault, but,” you took a deep breath. “I feel like he's still stuck trying to be a protector instead of just being our brother.”

Vanessa stayed silent, and you were grateful for that. You didn’t feel like hearing fake reassurances while talking about Garrett or his disappearance.

“Every time we try to talk about it, it just turns into an argument,” you whispered

“And why's that?” Vanessa squeezed your shoulder. You felt your heart flutter at the gesture.

“I guess… because we're both too stubborn to hear each other out,” you chuckled tiredly, running your hands through your hair. 

Vanessa opened her mouth, but you interrupted her.

“I fucked up today,” you turned to face her. “I kind of… blamed him for Garrett's disappearance.” 

Vanessa seemed shocked by this. Then she sucked in her breath between her teeth.

“That's–”

Your expression turned bitter as you felt your face flush in shame. 

“I know, you don't have to tell me.”

You hid your face in your hands. “He seemed so distraught, so hurt, I can't… I can't stop thinking about it.”

You felt your nails dig into your scalp. “I can’t stop thinking about the pain in his eyes, I can’t unsee the way he just… shrank.” 

Carefully, Vanessa rested her hand on your back, and when you didn't protest, she started rubbing small, comforting circles.

You feel a knot form in your throat.

“I…” you swallowed. “I remember it. The day he disappeared.”

A pause.

“I remember it so vividly,” you huffed a self-deprecating laugh. “I sprayed almost the whole bottle of ketchup on my sweater. Mom guided me to the tent so I could change,” a shaky breath slipped from your lips, and you felt her stomach churn.

The dread, the fear you felt that day would never leave your system.

“Next thing we knew, Mike was running and yelling, desperate. You closed your eyes, the memories flooding your mind.

“Mom, Dad! Help, they took him! They took Garrett!”

You stayed with your eyes closed for a few seconds, as Vanessa kept rubbing your back reassuringly.

“Did you know I had a brother?” She began.

“Really?” You asked with surprise in your voice.

“Mhm,” you could hear her smile in her voice, “we used to be really close. He was always looking out for me.”

“What happened to him?”

Her hand stopped. You tensed up.

“He… disappeared. Many years ago. Just like Garrett.”

You pulled slightly at your hair. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…”

“It's okay,” she said in a solemn voice, but with a small, resigned smile on her face.

“Why are you telling me this?” You finally faced her again.

“Because you can never take your family for granted. You shouldn’t say hurtful things to each other, and if it happens, you should let it cool off and then talk about it, not run away.”

Oh, now she was scolding you.

“I didn't–” you cringed. “Mike asked me to–”

She giggled. Giggled.

“I'm not saying it only because of you. Mike needs to understand that you're an adult now, that he won't always be able to protect you.”

Your eyes lit up. “Will you help me, then? Will you talk to him?”

Vanessa shook her head. “No, Y/N. You two need to sit down, talk, and finally start listening to each other.” She gave you a small smile.

You sighed, nodding. 

“Come on,” she said, standing up, shaking the dirt off her jeans, “I'll take you home.”

She extended her hand, and you took it without thinking twice.

Vanessa parked her car in front of your house, sighing softly before turning off the engine.

She looked at you, and after a few seconds, you met her gaze.

“You know,” she smiled, “I’m pretty sure you two can actually come to an agreement.”

You huffed, “That’s easier said than done.”

You pushed the car door open.

“Wait,” she said, holding onto the back of your jacket. You stayed still.

“I mean it, Y/N,” she gave you a soft look. 

“Just talk to him. No yelling, not arguing,” you resisted the urge to roll your eyes, “talk. Really talk…”

You stared at each other momentarily before she let go of your jacket.

“Hear him and… make him hear you,” Vanessa added, a whisper more than anything.

You nodded, climbing out of the car, and closing the door.

She lowered the window. “Good luck, I guess,” she smiled.

You felt your heart speed up. Was this really the end of it? Would she only speak to you when Mike asked her to? So she was just being nice, right?

You swallowed. “Yeah… Well.”

You felt heat rising up your neck, reaching your cheeks. Shame.

“Thanks for the ride, by the way,” you scratched the back of your neck, trying to get rid of the sensation.

“No problem.”

You nodded, and just as you were about to push the front door open, Vanessa called your name and you practically rushed to the car window. “Yes?”

Vanessa let out a breathy laugh and you almost melted on the spot. She opened the glove compartment and took out a notebook and a pen.

She started to write something down. 

“In case you and Mike keep having trouble…” She trailed off as she handed you the paper, which had a phone number written on it. 

You raised your gaze to meet hers. “If it doesn’t work out, you can call me and I can give you some advice,” she grinned at you. 

“And if it does?”

"Maybe we can go for a coffee, then?"

“I don’t like coffee,” you blurted out, feeling your cheeks warm up.

Vanessa's smile grew wider at your reaction and she chuckled softly. "Well, how about tea then? Or maybe we could just go for a walk instead?"

Her tone was playful and her smile was contagious, making it impossible for you to stay embarrassed for long.

You stayed silent, not sure how to respond. All you knew was that it was supposed to be cold outside at this time of the year, but you were sweating.

Vanessa shook her head, still smiling, and her playful tone turned into a sincere one. “We don’t have to if you don’t want–”

“I want to,” you interrupted her. “I do.”

She seemed to perk up. 

“I’ll call,” you said, without a doubt. “I promise.”

Vanessa gave you a soft smile before turning the car on, and slowly drive out of sight.

You sighed, turning to push the door open, and to your surprise, Mike was standing in the doorway with his arms crossed, and Abby peeking at you from behind him, smiling.

He met your gaze, and against all odds, he smiled at you. “I guess we need to talk.”

You smiled at him. “Yeah,” you looked down at the small piece of paper in your hands and swallowed. “Yeah. We do.”

Mike sighed, gesturing for you to come inside.

“So you heard all of that?” You said in a weary voice, and Abby giggled.

Mike shook his head. “Maybe we should eat first, I’m about to pass out.”

Right, you still hadn’t had dinner. Your stomach grumbled.

As you followed your brother into the dining room, you had the sensation that maybe, just maybe, things would be alright.

A/N: Reblogs are not only appreciated but also encouraged. Reblogs are what keep the fandom going.

[mariacallous]

In Hollywood, the present is the future is the past.

Twin strikes shut down production for six months last year, and with its workforce still on ice, the entertainment industry has been slow to recover. Domestic box-office revenue is expected to be 30 percent lower this year compared to 2019. By 2028, cable TV subscriptions are expected to decline by 10 million. And with the looming acquisition of Paramount Global by Skydance Media, the future of Hollywood is as it ever was: reliably uncertain. As one studio executive described it to the Los Angeles Times, it’s “something of an existential question mark.”

Of course, this isn’t Hollywood’s first—or second or third, for that matter—financial reckoning. “When we look closely at history, we realize that all the negotiations we have to make about character, about financing, about representation and all these things have been asked before,” says Maya Cade. “Ego tells us that we must be the first, but why would we want that to be true?”

This, in part, was Cade’s mission when she launched Black Film Archive in 2021. At a “moment when people were demanding the full totality of our lives to be represented in media,” she says, “they felt as if Black film could not hold the capacity for Blackness.” Cade knew better. So she got to work and built what is now the most exhaustive online database of Black cinema titles, spanning diverse, obscure, and well-known films.

A former audience development strategist at the Criterion Collection, she tells me people were missing a larger context to the issues at hand. The archive, which celebrated its third anniversary this August, features more than 300 films released between 1898 to 1999, with each title available to stream online. What Cade has accomplished is both rare and essential: She has indexed a century's worth of Black moviemaking and made it free to access.

Anxious to learn more, I reached out to Cade to help make sense of what’s happening in Hollywood. Over the phone from Los Angeles, where she recently relocated, Cade and I talked about the fate of the entertainment business, the grave implications of the Internet Archive lawsuit, and how we can better preserve history on an internet that likes to forget.

Jason Parham: Is it true that the idea for Black Film Archive sprang from a conversation on Twitter?

Maya Cade: I was on Twitter in June 2020, and I saw a lot of people talking about how racist or dramatic Black films are as a way to dismiss them. So instead of shaming people for that opinion, in my mind I was like, OK, how do I make an offering for people to discuss that belief, to contrast that belief, and also move us past it. I don't want to dismiss the truth because it's harsh. And I know there are many ways to get to the truth. I also don’t want to dismiss people who feel that way. But I want to offer another lens of how they're seeing it. Because when we talk about Black films as only being traumatic, we're reducing the art form in a very minuscule kind of way. This idea of like, “Oh, all these films are about slavery. All of these films are about trauma porn.”

Which, of course, isn’t true.

I did the calculations of how many films are about slavery—and they were quite few across time. But I understand that at the same time, what does it mean when a white decisionmaker wants to see Black people in a specific way? They have the power of how we're told in media. I also understand that film becomes the dominant narrative of how history is told. So there are multiple truths to contend with. But I think we're better prepared to contend with those things when we have a full look of what Black film’s history can offer.

The Internet Archive recently lost an appeal, which could have major ramifications to how we access information. Resources like Black Film Archive and the Wayback Machine are also part of this conversation. This is a bit of an abstract question, but how do we better hold on?

One goal of the early internet was to democratize knowledge. Whether everyone agreed with that is a different point. And the Internet Archive is one of the only things from the early internet to still exist in its same way. Wikipedia, too. These two things are constantly under attack, because to share knowledge freely means that someone wants to come in and control the free flow of knowledge. They want to profit from that.

In so many ways greed has become a default response to various public resources.

With that being known, what do we do? The world has been upended. The only truth that we know is in books. On the internet, AI has turned knowledge upside down. AI leaves out the essence of truth. For example, through summary, it assumes who you are and what you want to know quickly about something, which isn't the same as a human would do it. That process can remove layers of truth at a very basic level. With that being the foundation of the internet of the future, the Internet Archive is essential. In the last 10 years, we have moved away from the internet as a service to the internet of things. An internet as service—it was a destination. It was a place that you could freely roam, explore, and use as a guide.

Is there a way back to that?

If we want places on the internet that aren't run by AI, where knowledge is freely shared, where we can explore as we desire, then we must invest our time, our coins, we must advocate and protect as much as we possibly can. There’s so much on the internet that would crumble if the Internet Archive or Wikipedia falls. That's a threat to many people because, ultimately, when you control the flow of knowledge, you control everything.

The consequences would be extraordinary.

It's almost as if the basic concept of the library would be a pie-in-the-sky idea today, because someone would ask, well, how could I make money from that? When Black Film Archive launched, many people wanted to profit off of it. Many people asked to sponsor it. The thing is, once you create something that becomes a front line of culture, the question isn’t “How do I help sustain you?” The question is “How do I own you?” I said no because I’m firm in Black Film Archive being free.

On the subject of money and ownership: Earlier this year, following the cancellation of several Black TV shows, you wrote, “Studios and streamers no longer care about loyalty or enduring legacy.” Why does Hollywood, in 2024, still have such a difficult time aligning its legacy with its business?

Well, here's the thing, the legacy business, they feel as if that work is behind them.

But isn’t that what Hollywood is built on?

Yes, but to create new legacy and new inroads, to them, that is less important than extracting every possible dollar from existing IP. It’s more “expensive,” quote-unquote, to create something than it is to rest on existing laurels. The beginning of the end of this, to me, was when Warner Brothers and UPN merged into The CW. Now, 20 years later, the CW is a shell of itself. In mergers, you're no longer competing with someone to make the best content. With the merger of Warner Brothers and Discovery, they own, what, one-fourth of TV? That competition era of television—it's over.

Which has a direct impact on the creative side.

The legacy-driven model only happens now in vanity. So a lot of stars are using their own distribution or first-look deals to produce things. And these are the majority of people who are allowed to create. So what does Hollywood mean when the only people who are given freedom are people who have already done the taxing work—if they have at all—to become stars? Hollywood is not in the business of guarantee. Everything must be proven before it's even created.

And if that’s the case, so many people get left out.

And if everything must be proven before it's even created, then Blackness never had a chance. It doesn't have a chance. The fight for nostalgia as currency comes in a moment where some of the highest rated things are non-white. That's not an accident. It’s as if television, media, and filmmaking are becoming manifest destiny in the wrong ways. And there's nothing sadder.

Perhaps we need better frameworks.

People have upended industries to chase Netflix. And no one has caught up. Everything has fallen in this chase. What’s happening now is, people are only duplicating the best and the most watched. There is no diversity in how things are being delivered.

You once described “post-2020 Black media as akin to a modern day blaxploitation boom.” It got me thinking about platforms like Tubi and AllBlk, which are sometimes mocked as being a kind of streaming ghetto, but those same streamers have also given opportunities to young creators.

Blaxploitation, as I was saying, makes way for Spike Lee, it makes way for the '80s independent Black movement that, of course, shapes everything we know about modern Black film and modern Black media. At every valley, there is a peak. It’s the nature of life. So what do I think is ahead? We should be thinking about independent models that have existed before our current era. There are many ways to make media. With pilot season essentially dying, as the studios have announced, what are some ways that Black creators can forge together to make what they desire?

I mean, I don't know if I have the answers, but I do have the curiosity. And oftentimes curiosity and care—and leading with them—can transform how we understand history and the future.

[stonedcoldfoxtarot]

What would they confess while stoned or drunk?

From left to right:

Pile 1 -> Pile 2

Pile 3 -> Pile 4

Pile 1 La Mota 6oC, 7oP, Tower, 5oW, AoC (Temperance)

Pile 1, I feel like this person has a lot to say while under the influence because the cards flew put of the deck right away.

Someone with whom you share a deep connection would want to tell you that you came into their life and nothing was ever the same. They haven’t stopped thinking about you since. When faded or gone off the liquor, this person wouldn’t hold back in telling you how you are their soulmate and how deep their feelings are for you. If they’ve been holding back their feelings in the past, everything will come spilling out of them suddenly - they won’t be able to fight it or hold back. They might even blurt out the words “I love you.”

If you and this person have had arguments or disagreements in the past, while under the influence they would want to make up and tell you how sorry they are for hurting you or blowing up your connection. They deeply desire to work things out.

Pile 2 Magic 8 Ball 7oW, 6oC, Death, High Priestess, AoP, 8oS, 10oW, 7oS rev, Judgement, AoW, 9oW, 4oW rev (9oP)

Someone who may be a recovering addict or abstains from drinking or smoking due to something traumatic that happened in their past might prefer to keep their wits about them and would not enjoy the feeling of being in an altered state of consciousness. They may have struggled with addiction themselves, had a toxic ex who struggled with sobriety during their relationship or been raised by an addict. However, this person enjoys your company and may even find you incredibly attractive. Yet, they seem to be focused on being single and financially independent for now, and do not seem to be opening up about their feelings due to internal or external blockages and responsibilities.

Pile 3 The High Priestess 9oP, Temperance, Emperor, Hierophant, 8oS, 7oP rev, 5oS, 6oW, 3oW (AoC)

When this person gets intoxicated, they confess how beautiful and amazing they think you are. They admire you and learn a lot by being around you. They see you as smart, independent and a natural born leader. When sober, they may hold back from telling you how much they admire you, but under the influence of liquor or weed, they can't hold back.

This person also desires to take things to the next level in your connection and make things official. They might even propose! They want to take care of you and share a life with you. Even when sober, they think the two of you would make a great team. You guys might smoke or drink together on occasion and they really enjoy getting faded with you. They are very much in love and at times it may be written all over their face.

If they have held back in the past, with a little liquid courage, this person would tell you how lost and incomplete their life is without you. They would let you know that they are deeply in love with you.

I heard the lyrics “Baby I’ve been making plans for you” from The Matrimony by Wale Ft. Usher.

Pile 4 Don’t Care Bear Tower, AoS rev, 10oW rev, 10oS, World, 3oC, 5oW, 9oC, ToS rev, Hierophant rev (AoW)

Pile 4, this person is using alcohol and drugs to forget their past mistakes in the relationship. They realize how they were dishonest and disloyal with you, and how they failed to be there for you when you needed them the most. They acknowledge that they put everyone else before you, and they regret it. When they drink or smoke the memories of how things fell apart between the two of you overtake them and they shut down in order to forget.

If you have cut this person off or if they ghosted you, spirit is saying it's best to let them go. They are not capable of committing to a relationship, even if they made you feel otherwise when you got high or drunk together in the past.

Sometimes, while faded they may consider reaching out to you but they know that you have already moved on from them due to their wasteman behavior (gender neutral). They understand that the most they could offer you at this time is a night or two of pleasure but little to nothing more. They are not suitable for a long-term relationship because even at their best they will forever be for the streets.

I heard the lyrics to Needed Me by Rihanna.

Thanks for reading🔮✨

© 2023 stonedcoldfoxtarot. All rights reserved. Please do not copy, translate, edit or redistribute.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for leading someone on?

A friend (24M) of mine was in a toxic relationship with his ex (29F) and had many moments where I’d (23X) have to talk him down from suicide or harming himself and often times during this he’d claim no one loves him- so as a friend I’d tell him that I love and care about him.

Thing is, I do love him. He’s my best friend, I don’t know if I’d ever cared about anyone more than him. If anything happened to him I don’t think I’d ever recover.

But… He interpreted it as romantic love and recently broke up with his gf and wanted to move in with me.

I’m shocked because if the situation were different and I could financially support him I’d go for it. But I’m struggling to make ends meet right now and he is too, I don’t know if I could support a whole other person when I can barely get food on the table for myself. He’d also be moving halfway across the country, as we are online friends.

Anyhow, we talked and I asked him if there were any friends he could stay with because his ex is in the process of making him move out and he says his plan was always just to move in with me. I’m shocked because we never talked about this before and we ended up getting into an argument of him accusing me of leading him on by telling him that I loved and cared about him.

He’s staying with a friend now and he’s pissed because according to him the only reason he broke up with his ex is because he thought we could be together for sure. I’ve been trying to tell him that I do care about him I’m just not in a place where I can be in a relationship or move in with someone but he takes that really poorly and accuses me of playing with his feelings.

I don’t know if this would change people’s opinions or views or not but I will disclose he’s professionally diagnosed with anxiety + ocd, and suspects he has bpd. Imo that’s a context but not an excuse for how he reacted poorly about the whole situation.

What are these acronyms?

[foolishlovers]

Hello hello! Would you mind recommending a few more of your favorite ineffable wives fics? They really do mean the world to me :)

sure, here are some ineffable wives fics i enjoyed:

Caught In The Web Of Her Smile by WaitingToBeBroken (T, 2.2k) The inherent homoeroticism of having your archenemy/wife bound in your supervillain lair. Followed closely by the annoyance of discovering she doesn't really mind.

Roller Derby Queen by summerofspock (M, 2.5k) Crowley skates for Hell on Wheels and she's pretty good at it too. She'd be better if she weren't so distracted by the new skater on the opposing team.

Do It With Style by RainyDayDecaf (T, 2.9k) “You see, I want to look… w-well, I’m afraid I don’t exactly know how to describe it. But I believe the term is butch…?” Or, Aziraphale gets a new look, and Crowley is her hair stylist.

A Nice Cup of Tea and a Sit-Down by KannaOphelia (T, 4.7k) Crowley had determinedly resisted any wasting of funds on alternative nonsense in her hospice, until she was forced to accept the cuddle therapist. There's no way any woman gave hugs that could be worth fifty pounds an hour. Any woman.

The one where Crowley has period cramps and Aziraphale takes care of her by livingforazirowley (G, 5k) A day spent at home, Crowley suffering from period cramps and Aziraphale taking care of her.

The Art of Human Nature by IneffableDoll (T, 6k) Crowley is a painter who has only ever had an eye for nature. That is, until a client named Aziraphale commissions her for a painting to boost her self-confidence, and Crowley discovers that her client is as beautiful as the Earth itself. Then she goes and catches feelings, because she’s a disaster.

Have Your Cake by Blue_Sparkle, summerofspock (E, 11k) Aziraphale runs into Crowley during one of her assignments at a country estate. It's been a few centuries but she thinks she'd remember if Crowley had always made her feel this way.

Coming Home by TawnyOwl95 (E, 35k) Aziraphale isn’t running away. She is making space to regroup after she caught her husband bending his PA over the kitchen counter. (She’ll never be able to roll out pastry there again!) Crowley is not hiding. She is taking a moment to recover from a stressfully successful career in London's financial sector (And all the questionable life decisions she made to pursue this.) They’ve both returned to their home town and aren’t expecting to fall in love again. But with twice as much baggage and far more hurts than when they were teenagers, it’s going to take a miracle to stop history repeating itself.

[laundrybiscuits]

(purify our misfit ways tag)

“Wait,” says Steve. “That’s Eddie? Your boyfriend Eddie?”

Robin gags theatrically. “Ew, gross. Not my boyfriend, just a friend.”

Steve frowns. “Gross is kinda harsh. He’s the only guy you ever talk about, how was I supposed to know he’s not your boyfriend?”

“Uh, by maybe not assuming that I can’t just have a non-boyfriend friend who’s a boy? Or that I have to have a boyfriend at all in the first place? It’s not harsh for me not to want to date him.”

“Sure, whatever. Go ahead and live your sexless nerd life all you want.” Steve rolls his eyes, and Robin was right the first time, he really is a douchebag. She can’t believe she thought any differently, even for a moment.

“So, what’s up with the guy who’s not your boyfriend? Like, what’s his deal?”

Robin regards him narrowly. “What’s it to you?”

“Nothing, god. Am I not allowed to ask questions?”

“Steve Harrington,” says Robin. “You have been shockingly un-terrible so far. And I do mean shockingly. Every single time we have a shift together and you’re not the absolute scum of the earth, it is a shock to my system from which I will never truly recover. I might even risk permanent nerve damage and acknowledge that you have successfully achieved the rank of my least hated coworker, if only because Gordon is a total creep and Jenny doesn’t even pretend to clean up after herself. Despite this momentous achievement: if you start harassing Eddie, I swear on my life I will end you. There will be nothing left but a faint whiff of Aqua Net lingering in the air.”

“I’m not gonna—harass him! Or anyone! Jeez, Robin!”

Steve crosses his arms, sulking, because he’s a giant baby. Robin does feel a miniscule twinge of guilt, because she wasn’t lying; she’ll die before admitting it, but the last couple weeks working with Steve have been almost—fun, kind of. He’s still a dingus who screws up all the time, but he lets her boss him around without complaining or challenging her in some dumb boy way, and he has the kind of acid-tongued apathy towards the general public that normally takes years of social exile to develop. He actually laughs at her jokes most of the time, even when they’re mean.

But…Eddie’s being admittedly extremely weird, and she knows where her loyalties lie. She’ll be damned if she lets anyone scent weakness, no matter how much they may or may not have changed since high school.

“Just leave Eddie alone, okay?” she says. “He got enough of your shit at school.”

“I don’t even remember him from school,” whines Steve. “The hell are you talking about?”

“You didn’t remember me, either,” says Robin.

She remembers him, though. Everyone remembers Steve Harrington, whether they want to or not. Big house, no parents. Walked through the halls like there was a carpet rolled out in front of him, some girl on his arm and his sycophants milling.

The surge of vicious satisfaction she feels at the sight of him now, trapped behind a counter and dressed like a joke for minimum wage, is strong enough to make her pause. She knows this one: schadenfreude. Joy in others’ misfortune.

This isn’t who she wants to be.

She goes over to lean against the counter next to him.

“Listen, you’ll be out of here in the fall, right? Before you know it, Hawkins will just be a weird, distant memory. I’m sure your first college kegstand will propel you to all-new heights of popularity.”

“I’m, uh.” Steve looks away, scratching at his jaw. “I’m actually just. Taking some time right now. Figuring out my next moves, you know.”

“In Hawkins?” Robin stares at him incredulously. If she had to take a gap year, she’d—well, actually, she might need to take a gap year in Hawkins to save up if she can’t get enough financial aid. There’s no way Steve Harrington’s doing that, though.

“Aren’t you, like, rich?” she blurts out. She would be the worst spy in the entire world, god. “I mean, aren’t your parents paying for college?”

Steve’s still not looking at her. “They, uh, kinda cut me off. I’m not—I don’t know if I’m going to college. Might not be for me. Like I said, I’m just…figuring things out right now.”

“Um, okay,” she says. Robin’s getting that itchy feeling she gets sometimes, when it seems like people around her are having a totally different conversation than the one they’re having with their actual voices. It’s like trying to translate something from a new language, except she doesn’t have a dictionary or any guidebooks, just a torrent of meaning locked away where she can’t reach. And that would be fine, she likes figuring that kind of puzzle out in other contexts, but everyone else seems to be totally fluent in the silent language while Robin’s struggling to follow along at the slowest possible pace, and—

Oh. Steve didn’t get into college.

“What about technical school?” she says, before her brain can really catch up. “I mean—um, I just mean, like, if you’re not sure if the traditional college thing is for you, I know some people who—they prefer technical college. As an alternative.” Why can’t she ever, ever shut up? Steve doesn’t want to talk about this, she knows he doesn’t want to talk about this.

He drags his hand through his hair, dislodging the stupid sailor hat, and huffs out a laugh. It doesn’t sound happy. “Don’t think that’s for me either.”

And sure, if she’d actually stopped to think about it for a second, she might’ve been able to guess that in a place like Hawkins, even being captain of the swim team probably isn’t enough to snag a sports scholarship, and there’s no way Steve’s grades are even remotely okay. He’s just always seemed like the kind of guy who was going somewhere, who had a golden future, and she’d hated him a little bit for that.

So: Steve Harrington, high school graduate. Sure. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, obviously. Robin actually does know plenty of people who didn’t go to college. But almost all of those people are her parents’ flower-child friends who wanted to explore the world and do drugs and make art, not polo-clad jocks who don’t seem to even be aware that there’s a world outside Hawkins. It’s taking her a second to adjust.

“Yeah, I don’t think Eddie’s doing the college thing either,” she says. It’s an apology, though she hopes he doesn’t take it that way.

“He’s not?” says Steve, blinking as if the very notion of Eddie voluntarily submitting to higher education wasn’t completely laughable.

“I think he’s probably going to be a famous rockstar or something someday. He’s, like, crazy good on the guitar, you should hear him play.”

“Sure,” snorts Steve. “Tell you what, if we’re ever in the same room for more than two seconds, I’ll listen to whatever he’s got.”

(ETA: First chapter of this fic has been edited/expanded and posted on AO3)

[cinna-stars]

currently thinking about ✨ them ✨

i had to delete all my mods so i could co-op and forgot how beautiful leila lolthlorien was - i don’t know if i’ll ever financially recover from this

[kyluxtrashpit]

So I really want to get another cat. Thing is, there’s several reasons why it’d be a good idea (boy has a playmate, I think my ideal number of cats is 2, and give a kitty in need of a home a nice one) but also a lot of reasons I know it’s not a good idea *right now*

First reason is I’m not sure I’m fully ready for it. There’s still a part of my brain that hopes that this new new cat (I’m gonna need another system when I do get one lmao) would act more like old cat and I’ve had enough pets to know that’s a red flag that means you’re not ready yet. It just leads to disappointment when your new pet doesn’t behave like the old one when they were never going to, every animal is a unique individual and no two will give the same experience even when they are similar. And I know this. But the heart still wants

Also two cats, especially when one is brand new to the living situation and is still adjusting, is more work than one and for several reasons my energy lately has been pretty low. So. Am I up for that right now? I’m not sure. I’m sure I could rise the occasion if it’s needed, but like. Would it be a good idea to put myself into that situation at the moment? I’m not sure it would be. Even if I do miss having two cats a lot

There’s also the matter of living situation. Last year I was hoping to move, as I’m getting to the point in my life where it is time to Purchase a living space instead of rent. Which is terrifying tbh lmao, but it is a thing none the less. Plus I just really want a bit more space at this point, and certain conveniences (oh how I long for my own laundry devices) that I don’t currently have. But with old cat, that just didn’t end up being in the cards cause my babies are always my priority above all else (the financial hit also didn’t help - I’m only just recovering from it now). I was simply not going to move while she was old and fragile and dying of cancer

However, my province also sucks! And it recently decided it’s gonna suck even more! Not as much as most of the US, at least not yet, but. It’s not promising. And the long term prospects are also Not Great (both in terms of social things and economically as well like, things are probably going to get worse long before they get better, if they ever do get better). And my city isn’t *the worst* but it’s more expensive than ideal. So it’s like. Do I want to buy a place here? I don’t know. But do I want to move out of this province? I also don’t know

Cause moving adds a lot of factors, even if I stay in the same province but look at a cheaper city. And leaving the province, okay, which to go to? This one’s nice but expensive and has weather I don’t like, and that ones cheap but also there’s a decent risk things will get worse there politically. And then there’s a risk the whole country will get fucked politically next year but I am doing my utmost to not worry about it until it is actually an immediate problem

And then there’s factors like, all the people I know are here (even if I’m bad at seeing them a lot). Familiar grocery stores and restaurants, other amenities, hell, my internet company is not fully national last I checked - will I have to switch providers? Work isn’t an issue as I work from home and we have people in multiple provinces, but like. Literally everything else is. I’ve lived here my entire life. I don’t know what it would be like to move that far. I’ve never done it

(And there’s also like. A sort of political responsibility. I read a lot after the shitty thing was announced and like. Some people are leaving. Some are staying because fuck you, bigots will not drive me from me home, I will fight back. Some are staying because they can’t afford to leave. And some are staying because if everyone who can leave does leave, then who’s left to at least try to fight this shit for those at risk who can’t get out? Especially as while I’m not in the demographic currently at risk, I’m in an adjacent one so it’s like. No, I’m not at risk yet but it’s possible I will be some day, but I also do feel some level of responsibility to try to help those who are currently at risk because I’m not)

And my dad is planning to leave (though unclear how firm that plan is right now and unclear exactly where) and is like ‘well come with me’ and I’m gonna be honest I. Don’t really want to like. I’m in my 30s. There is a part of me that feels like it’s time to get a bit more space from my family. My mom moved already for other reasons, so I don’t physically see her often, but technology is a thing so. Quite frankly my parents are both really bad at having friends so being literally the only person one of them knows in an entire city is kind of a nightmare scenario for me lmao. I need my space. I get annoyed when I get texted too often, I am NOT going to be your sole social contact. And I know that’s what would happen if we both moved to the same place with no one else. And even without all that, we have differences of opinions in “ideal place to live” so. I know they’re (dad goes by they/them) going to try to pressure me but if I’m sure of anything, it’s that I don’t want that

And, to circle this all back, there is also my kitty boy: he does NOT travel well. At all. He has panic attacks in the car that leave him panting and screaming within about 1 minute of being in there. We are trying to work on it, given transport is important for vet visits, but progress is slow. I was thinking he might have to get the old gaba just for me to be able to move within the city. He’s an anxious little guy. It’s gonna be tough for him, both the general realities of moving and the driving to the new place part. And I originally wasn’t really thinking of moving anywhere out of a 20 min or so radius of where I currently live partly for that reason

So to move to another province (and please remember Canada is Huge, like, this would be several hours or even multiple days of driving), I don’t know if I can even do that in a way that’s safe for him. Drugs are an option, but depending on where, it could be an unfeasibly long drive to do that with. And god, planes, I can only imagine how much worse he would be on a plane (even though I’d NEVER let him ride in the cargo, I’d buy an extra seat if I had to). He could have a stress-induced heart attack and die and if this is in transit, I’d be powerless to save him and I’d have to live the rest of my life knowing I killed him

And so with all of that, I’m like. I really can’t get another cat until I know wtf I’m doing and implement that because it would be awful for the new kitty if I got them and then immediately moved somewhere, either close or far. I can’t do that, it would be cruel. So like. Idk, I just don’t know what to do

I’m also aware that like. There are two problems in this ramble and the one I opened with is not really the larger one lmao but like. Genuinely I do not know what to do and that’s scary so I’m just kinda frozen here thinking how nice it would be to have a second floof gallivanting around the apartment but also knowing I can’t really have that right now (unless the cat distribution system decides to give me no choice in the matter lmao but I’m not expecting that to happen)

[chapelbat]

If u ever wonder if I’m living in my sisters shadow, pls know she’s not mentally ill, at least not to where it’s obvious, she’s very successful, she’s married and has a son, she owns a big home, she also works in logistics and used to buy and sell missiles and shit and I used to be a coke head and this is the second time I’ve lost a job within two years which is actually a long time for me, I’m debilitatingly mentally ill and I don’t plan on having kids tbh and I always have to ask for help lol I haven’t financially recovered from my drug addiction and I am a mess without medication and sometimes even with. I’m a scumbag living in the shine of someone who seems so pristine on paper and it’s annoying bc I know we’re different people it it’s crazy that we share the same bloodline sometimes and even similar genes

[strkamand]

I didn't vote for my needs

I didn’t vote for my needs alone

Not that I don’t have needs.

--> I need access to safe, medically-approved abortion: My sweet little boy wants a baby sister and under too many of the up-for-votes abortion statutes, my uterus would become a property of the state, ever to be forced to carry a baby to term, even when it isn’t viable and would endanger both my life and my future capacity to bear children, not to mention my mental capacity...

--> I need to see my nephews live long and happy lives: My nephews are biracial, beautiful, strong, wonderful boys. I value their lives. No white supremacist is going to consider that they're half white. Too many police officers have proven that they will value being 'in control' over my nephews' lives.

--> I need affordable healthcare: My husband and I are ok on his healthcare right now. But we're one illness, one job loss, and like many others, a few months worth of savings from not being able to provide payment for our healthcare costs.

--> I need a job that doesn't discriminate against my gender: I have debt from college and from the medical costs of our fertility issues. I need to be able to pay that back. I can't do that if I have an employer who feels like he can, at any time, take advantage of my female-ness by paying me less or endangering my workplace with harassment.

But I didn't vote for my needs alone.

I voted for the needs of those who don't have privilege.

I am a white woman.

I live in a two-income household and I went to college.

I am in a heterosexual relationship.

Thanks to college, I have well-developed skills that make it so I can find employment in many fields.

I have no physical disability.

I slept in a bed in a warm room last night where I can leave my things until the next night and so on.

My neighbors know me and my family.

I inherited my citizenship in this country from those who stole it from its' indigenous citizens.

My child's father participates in that child's care/needs (both financially and emotionally).

I have access to reliable relatives who could care for us if a natural disaster hit.

I. am. privileged.

So I didn't vote for my needs alone.

I voted for the people of color, who suffer terror and racism on a level I will never understand.

I voted for those who have poverty-level income because they didn't get a chance to go to college or to have safe, trauma-free learning environments.

I voted for those who are not heterosexual.

I voted for those who never got to develop skills because they couldn't get the funding or support or time off or whatEVER resources they needed to go to college.

I voted for those who have limited access to employment because of their lack of skills.

I voted for those who have physical disabilities.

I voted for those who do not have a warm house or a bed or a room of their own and have to track their things from night to night.

I voted for those who worry about their safety because they cannot choose their neighborhood.

I voted for children in cages, traumatized to the point they'll never recover.

I voted for parents who sought asylum here and instead, were separated from their children.

I voted for the First Nations Citizens, who have lost everything to so-called 'Christian' settlers and other colonizers.

I voted for single parents who don't have another parent in the home to provide support to the children living there.

I voted for children who have to care for themselves because their single parent is working.

I voted for children who don't have financial or emotional resources, and suffer the consequences, both seen and unseen.

I voted for those who have no extended family or tribe. Who have had to face every natural disaster of this year by getting up earlier or going to bed later to do things like repair homes and cars, evacuate, and wait outside care clinics for those who cannot afford care.

I didn't vote for my needs alone.

I voted for the needs of those who don't have privilege.

I voted for those who feel alone, abandoned by elected officials who aren't listening to the needs of their constituents, but instead, to the needs of their lone agendas.

I voted for indivisible justice for all so that privilege alone will never again get a vote.

I voted for healing and support and unity.

Because that's what we all need.

[kayandthegoldendays]

I feel extraordinarily lucky lately. I had a few bad head days but nothing compared to a few months ago. My bad head days mainly revolve around anxiety. If it were up to me, I’d swoop up everyone I love and keep them in a tiny pocketbook. I’m learning to love and live with my heart outside of me.

my family is recovering and there’s this deep sense of contentment in being able to sustain humans I love while they heal. I easily was able to cover my sister’s therapy, and my grandmothers needs. The swiftness with which I can take care of financial concerns makes me rejoice to my ancestors for taking care of our lineage.

It feels joyful to nourish the women that have cared for me in the past.

And I’ve also taken time lately to care for myself more. I’ve made peace with not ever having a normal schedule but I’m trying to fall back in love with my unorthodox flow and to see choice in all my actions. Because I really truly have chosen all of this which is crazy to think about sometimes but I feel really happy with my choices.

I begin classes soon. I’m scared. I don’t know why but this fall feels different, I have all of these big hopes for myself but as I made my tuition payment recently I thought …. Wow is this an investment. And again, it’s one I’m choosing wholeheartedly but I’m scared.

There’s also babies, there’s always babies. My most recent birth had me awake for 22 hours. I didn’t collapse which was miraculous but I probably shaved a good six months from my life expectancy.

My clients feel so …. “Right” this season that I’ve started doing more intentional pauses to reflect on what they are also teaching me as I support them.

[smash-64]

2023 Game of the Year Countdown #7 Sea of Stars Nintendo Switch, 2023

I was actually a backer of this game over two years ago! A few people recommended it to me recently, which was cool that some of my friends knew me well enough that they recommended something I was already intrigued by enough to back financially. Shoutouts to @boner-taunt and @hyper-knux for that!

The game is simply gorgeous. The best pixel art I’ve ever seen in a video game. Vibrant colors, perfect lighting that gave the impression of dark and light areas without ever making me feel like I couldn’t see where I was going. Wonderful glowing lights and colors also enhance so many of the attacks and spells, as well as dynamic backgrounds and environments that react to your presence and movement. It’s shocking how talented the devs were to make a game look so good while also making it feel like something that belonged on the Super Nintendo, even if the SNES could never hope to run something that looked so good. It’s like they’ve tricked us into seeing both the past and present simultaneously. And as someone who rarely geeks out about graphics, you know something special is going on for it to happen.

I was expecting quite a bit from the music, and I feel like I was satisfied, but not overly impressed. Perhaps I was expecting too much once I saw Yasunori Mitsuda was involved: the talented composer who did the masterpiece Chrono Cross soundtrack and was in charge of the Xenoblade games as well. The level up music stood out, as well as one of the battle tunes, but I was hoping for a variety of location tracks to catch my ear as well, and it didn’t really happen. I do find the soundtrack to be really good to play in the background while I work, and the soundtrack is extremely long so that fits it really well. 

Despite having combat that is turn based, I was sad to see that you have to take an active role in both attack and defense, much like you do in Super Mario RPG. While some enjoy that aspect, I do not. It was actually one of the main turn-offs for me when I tried Super Mario RPG, so I found it to be a hindrance in Sea of Stars. Likewise, combat does major damage to your characters, and you must constantly cook food to help replenish your health both in and out of battle, since it’s likely that you won’t be able to constantly return to a campsite to rest/recover that way, and healing spells can be costly or don’t heal a significant amount early on. Luckily, I found an item that automatically recovered health after each battle, which was a nice aspect to include for a more casual experience. To be completely honest, I’m not sure if I would have completed the game had I not had the ability to recover after each battle because it was a chore to constantly cook food to keep on hand for healing. 

The story is ok, but it took absolutely forever for me to feel interested in it. Coming from a Trails fan, a series well known to be the slowest of slow burns, that’s a bit of an issue. The game also left me with a lot of questions, as many aspects of the story felt random. I found it hard to follow at times, especially with regard to what to do next. Perhaps this was part of the retro style design, as many older games lacked any sort of real guidance on where to go or what to do, and definitely no journal/diary system to remind you. 

I was not blown away by any of the characters, either, although I do appreciate Garl as a generally positive and caring support character. The “warrior cook” class he creates for himself is also a nice touch.

Overall, the game is fun and I’m glad to have backed it. It’s rare for me to enjoy my time with an old school 2D, top-down type of JRPG, so to have it show up on my Top 10 for the year at all is fairly surprising.

[rookrecurring]

I don’t know where you’re at with this question or how often you’ve been asked it, but how are you doing these days? What have you been up to? I did a triple take when you started posting again and it’s good to see your art again! I hope you’ve been well.

—longtime RMR fan

Hi! This is such a kind message, I appreciate you checking in. I feel like I've been offline for so long that I'm always surprised to hear anyone remembers me or Red Moon Rising at all, haha. I've received a few emails here and there from former readers over the years which I've replied to, but I think it's probably time to say something more public in case anyone else has similar questions.

I tried and completely failed to keep this concise - sorry for rambling all over your relatively simple ask, but the long and short of it is: I'm doing pretty ok! Life is confusing and difficult! More under the cut!

In all honesty, I burned out very badly while working on Red Moon Rising. The tipping point unfortunately coincided with the Kickstarter for the print version (way back in 2017), but in retrospect it was a long time coming.

Shocking no-one, webcomics basically pay nothing and I was treating it as a job on top of the commission and freelance work I was paying the bills with, and in the end it just kind of crushed me. I became very overwhelmed with the work required to get the comic ready for print in the time that followed, so I never quite gave myself space to recover from the burnout because I felt such an obligation to fulfill the Kickstarter - people had paid good money for this and I wanted them to receive the books they had been promised.

The good news these days is that the Kickstarter is more or less all the way there. My publisher has been an absolute saint this entire time, checking in with me about the work without ever being demanding or pushy, and a few months ago a box arrived at my flat with all three volumes (consisting of the first 300-ish pages) of Red Moon Rising in print.

It's hard to be ecstatic after such a tiring journey to put it all together, but I'm proud of what we made. I can't overstate what a great job I think my publisher has done and how kind they've been to me - they received a lot of flak from people about the massive delays and never once threw me under the bus or pressured me to work harder or faster.

Regarding RMR's future: the website is currently down, but it shouldn't be for long. I've had some help from a friend recently (a recurring trend that I'm very grateful for) and the site should be back online soon more or less as it was. Pages, commentary, comments, everything.

However, the comic will remain on semi-permanent hiatus - never say never, but for the moment I've moved on.

I'm sure this isn't a surprise considering the last page was posted six years ago, but I hope it's not too disappointing for anyone. I always thought I would come back to it sooner or later, but I still feel like I need some space.

-

On an even more personal note, it's been a crazy few years. I think everyone has had a difficult time recently what with the… well, everything. I've been through a lot of health problems, some very difficult housing and financial situations, and I also came out as gay and asexual to my friends and family, and now to anyone who happens to be reading this.

Fortunately I have no horror stories regarding this last point, everyone around me has been beyond supportive and kind. I think the main takeaway I have from this period of my life is how amazing my friends are. I could probably fill this post to the character limit talking about the lovely people in my life and the numerous kind things they've done for me. I'm in a very good place right now thanks to them.

So in a post-Kickstarter, post-RMR world I'm at a bit of crossroads these days. I feel like my burnout has finally more or less faded and I've quietly been up to all sorts of small things.

I spent a lot of this year learning Japanese to an intermediate level (mostly through watching hundreds of episodes of Super Sentai shows in pure Japanese), something that didn't occur to me I would ever be capable of until I started doing it

I've been composing more orchestral music and sending it to like two people

I did a game jam!

I picked up Python programming recently and am trying to create a program to act as a music composition aid

I speedran learning Blender last year for a job application and made exactly one (1) piece using it that went so well I'll probably never draw a building by hand ever again

I've been playing a lot of DnD and other tabletop RPGs and made quite a bit of art related to those that I never posted anywhere

My biggest freelance project of the year was doing all the art for a friend's board game project that I'm cautiously excited about - it should be seeing the light of day some time next year

Basically I'm approaching some sort of critical mass of "uhhh maybe someone on the internet might like to see what I'm up to if I actually posted it" and now I'm confronting the scary emotions of once again being visible online. Yet another friend has offered to help me set up some kind of art stream in the near future and I think I might actually work up the nerve to do it.

-

Compared to 2017 the internet now is obviously a very different place and it's quite intimidating to step back into it if I'm being honest. It feels like there's much more pressure on Cultivating A Brand™ and I can already tell I'm going to be completely terrible at it because that pressure to be a consistent Content Creator™™™ totally smashed my brain in before and I'm not interested in going there again.

On the other hand, I appreciate that someone who is interested in seeing my handful of bird drawings one month might not also be interested in seeing my Tokusou Sentai Dekaranger fanart the next. I don't really know what to do about that except post these things anyway, because otherwise they're just piling up on my hard drive.

So that's it, really! My life is a lot more stable these days and I'm tentatively planning on posting more stuff here and possibly other places too. Thanks again for the ask, and sorry for the impromptu novel!