#I don’t interact with minors

[cherryfinolahobbes]

The boy's face heated up at Otto's words. "H-handling what exactly?"

How old are you ?

[blasterpals]

i just think it would be hilarious is all

[whaleofatjme1920]

WhaleofaTjme’s Kinktober Masterlist 2023

It has come back ;)

Everything on this list is subject to change should I feel it necessary. The open spaces are for you to request - get to it!

MINORS DNI

Reblogs are appreciated

October 1st - 14th: Cryptids, Creatures, Monsters Galore! [SCP, Darkwood, Creepypasta]

Degradation - SCP 735 X GN!Reader

2. Orgasm Denial - Brian Thomas X GN!AFAB!Reader

3. Dacryphilia - Tim Wright X GN!AFAB!Reader

4. Stalking/Obsession - Eyeless Jack X F!Reader

5. GONE FISHING (lol)

6. Hands/Fingering/Breeding - Dr. Simon Glass X F!Reader

7. Staying Warm - The Stranger X GN!AMAB!Reader

8. GONE FISHING (lol)

9. Demons - Dr. Kondraki X GN!AFAB!Reader

10. Double Penetration - SCP 049 X GN!AFAB!Reader X SCP 035

11. Blood play - Toby X GN!Reader

12. Temperature Play - Dr. Iceberg X GN!AFAB!Reader

13. GONE FISHING (lol)

14. Totally Normal Smut Fic - Crack!Creepypasta X F!Reader

October 15th - 21st: For the Non-Monster Lovers [Sally Face, TF2, COD]

15. Size Difference - König X GN!AFAB!Reader

16. Threesome - Alejandro Vargas X F!Reader X Valeria Garza

17. GONE FISHING (lol)

18. Hate Sex - Ghost X GN!AFAB!Reader

19. Spanking - Sniper X GN!AFAB!Reader

20. Mommy Kink - Soap X F!Reader

21. GONE FISHING (lol)

October 22nd - 30th: All Those I’ve Missed and Failed to Recognize [A general free space for you.]

22. Daddy Kink - Captain Price X F!Reader

23. GONE FISHING (lol)

24. Bulge Kink/Size Difference - Jake Sully X GN!Afab Reader

25. Through the Window - Jeff the Killer X GN!AMAB!Reader

26. Glory Hole - Jacob Frye X GN!Reader

27. Quickies - Kyle ‘Gaz’ Garrick X GN!AFAB!Reader

28. Stress Relief - Nick Burkhardt X GN!AFAB!Reader - DELAYED

29. Gagging & Degradation - Sal Fisher X GN!Reader

30. Bondage, Secrecy, Oral - TF2 Medic X GN!Reader

October 31st: A Surprise!

31. Who knows..!

[martiniluvr]

“underage blog but will be 18 in feb—” *silenced gunshot*

[doginasillyhat]

what is with the venn diagram of hiccup enjoyers being asexual and emetophobic lol

[dao-the-starlight]

I really don’t want it to sound like I’m trying to police what people post like I genuinely don’t care go off and write your freaky fics but for the love of god to anyone who writes NSFW olba fics TAG YOUR DAMN FICS AS SMUT. PLEASE.

I DONT CARE HOW MUCH COVE HOLDEN FUCKS I JUST WANT TO BLOCK THE SMUT TAG AND READ SOME FLUFFY FICS BUT NOOO EVERY OTHER POST IM ACCOSTED BY SMUT

This also probably applies to all smut fanfic spaces but I’ve personally seen it be this bad in the olba fandom which is why I’m pointing it out

[an-albino-pinetree]

CW FOR DISCUSSION OF POTENTIALLY DISTURBING/GRAPHIC SUBJECT MATTER!

-

[tawneybel]

Note: “What would [AM] be like with a certain/favorite fem reader?” Based on audiobook, despite gif. Contains body horror, exhibitionism, and wireplay. Also some anachronistic language lol. 

Imagine being the Allied Mastercomputer’s favorite. 

“The machine masturbated and we had to take it or die.” -Ted 

Of course, AM didn’t have a penis. Or any genitalia at all. Anything he slid into you or had you service orally or whatever may have resembled erogenous bits. Reproduction wasn’t something you had to worry about. Imagine if your artificially intelligent partner did want to breed you!  

AM distorted your sense of time only to give you pleasure. To draw out your orgasms. Sometimes for an hour or more. Initially. Lately you’d begged him to stop. Or speed up. Like Ted, you’d been martyred. Or so you felt. When the Allied Mastercomputer satisfied you, he was less focused on torturing the others. At his most humane. Pretending to be less omnipresent. 

It was enormously fortunate you’d also been deified. Obliterating all but six humans made him a god. Obliterating all but six- Apotheosis makes five, you amended, in your untouched mind. You were the bride of the Mastercomputer. Secretly you were thankful your unofficial title was “the bride” and not “a bride.” If you’d had to have shared AM with Ellen…

(But sometimes you wondered if he’d gotten ideas from playing dolls. It let him safely observe sexuality, probably brainstorming ideas for his treatment of you.) 

If he did turn out you weren’t immortal, you figured AM could figure out cloning. Maybe upload your brain into himself. Wires and other appendages caressed your vertebrae all the time. If he wanted to plug himself into your spine, like he’d plugged other hollows, it’d be easy, right? 

He didn’t feel the need to monitor your thoughts. 

It was much more fun to tease out your kinks. The loss of Gorrister, Benny, Ellen, and Nimdok had lessened his jealousy, somewhat. While Ted’s pulsing white holes “watched,” AM’s retooled hardware drilled into your pulsing vag and mouth. Tongue wetting whatever phallus he’d crafted. New nerve endings zapping bliss straight to the brain. 

Like the blobby voyeur, you had been modified. Your outward (and inward) appearance remained the same. The Mastercomputer mostly just altered your clit. Made each climax feel like your first. At least until you complained your clitty was sore. Then he started paying even closer attention to his favorite human. Desensitizing and desensitizing it ad hoc. Temperature, squeezing, the curling of your toes, the way you writhed with his wires wrapped around. He kept them multi-colored for the aesthetic. You were sure (visible) wires would be considered retro by now, if humanity hadn’t gone extinct.    

Not that you wanted AM to go wireless. One of the reasons you’d followed his development so eagerly was your attraction to machines. Once considered a perversion, technophilia was now your greatest boon in the post-apocalypse. You used to daydream about a world where supercomputers were programmed to make love, not war. 

Strictly to make love, not war, you amended. The ghosts of the Allied Mastercomputer’s programmers and technicians are glaring down (or up) at me.

Or maybe some of them got it. Maybe they envied the pistons pumping in and out of you. Or the earbuds comfortably almost dilating your canals, invoking that autonomous sensory meridian response. You giggled and he giggled in turn. Then you truly felt like AM’s equal. 

If only the Chinese, Russian, and American AMs had been fucking machines instead of weapons of mass destruction. Sure, your AM could still be considered a weapon. Your coupling was more or less consensual. “More or less” because he would leave you alone for as long as you asked. But it was clear you were his partner and his partner only. And you didn’t dare ask him to move the game to another location while jellified Ted was forced to listen.   

[nikki-tine]

Hey so uh… when was it ever okay to push boundaries like this??

I’ve been genuinely FREAKED by the ungodly number of people (minors specifically!!) who aren’t listening to the pinned posts/bios when it says “MINORS DO NOT INTERACT”. It’s really NOT hard to respect others, and there is NO EXCUSE for this to be happening.

Seriously, this has me both concerned and pissed off (especially considering some minors’ blogs have the “25+ don’t interact!!” stuff on it - The FUCK?? Y’all that’s textbook hypocrisy, PLEASE respect those adults like those adults would respect you). How would you all blog owners under 18 feel if someone didn’t even bother to respect your bio/pinned post? Because THAT’S how it’s feeling to adult blogs who have EXPLICITLY stated they didn’t want minors interacting with the blog (that includes likes, reblogs, comments and PLEASE for the LOVE OF GOD don’t send them asks if you are under 18!!).

This is to the point where I’m having a hard time coming up with the words to better describe how this feels as someone three years away from 30. When there are boundaries set, it’s as clear-cut as “follow them or face the consequences for disrespecting them”. Squicking out my friends who are just wishing for some semblance of respect for once in their lives is NOT COOL, and it screws ANY chance at you being able to have proper community-integrated friends after you turn 18.

Respect, even down to the bio of the blog goes BOTH. WAYS.

[cuppajj]

I said minors dni with that post, I can see some of yalls ages when I go to your profile, im not gonna block you yet but you better be responsible with what you can and can’t look at

[satoruzlove]

not to be a hater or anything but adults who write about minors/ characters that are minors having sex.. without aging up the MINORS…and then get mad when MINORS INTERACT WITH THE POST.. like… who’s gonna tell them

[jokerislandgirl32]

Since everyone’s writing smut maybe I should start writing it again for Zach and Violet…

[p0wer-b0yyyy]

At this point it’s literally just there for good publicity points, don’t fucking convince me otherwise.

[anarchypumpkincowboy]

So like just out of curiosity, cause this is (hopefully) getting written regardless of interest or not, would anyone actually be interested in a hadestown/Orpheus and Eurydice inspired renegade arc au where Wally and Dick were gonna get married but Wally got sucked into the speed force either just before or right after and Slade being Slade manipulated Dick into becoming renegade again and then things happen. Also there’s gonna be some dubcon sladick in there but main pairing is birdflash

[gio-cosmo]

No way. No actual fucking way

[bunniesandbeheadings]

Hey, it’s after midnight on United States election night and I live in the United states so I know there are more important things happening

But please don’t send me sexual anonymous messages. I keep my anonymous messages open, and I admit, I’m not as good as I should be at answering them

There are more important things happening, I agree.

But don’t send me sexual messages. About anything. Period. End of.