#I don’t even remember what episode I’m on

[shy-canadian-snowflake]

15 Days without.

“Rough night?” Logan murmured as he saw the Merc, wide awake watching something stupid on tv. The man jumped slightly to Logan’s sleep thick voice, only to shoot him a smile once he saw the other was a wake. 

“Hey Peanut.” Wade said softly as Logan threw an arm over his lap. He stayed sitting up and ran a hand through the man’s hair. “I’m fine, just thinking.”

“That’s a scary thought.” His lips twitched into a smile for a second as Wade pulled at his hair. “Whatcha thinking about?”

“It’s been 15 days since my last episode.” Logan blinked at that and did the math in his head. It dawned on him then that the other hadn’t had a rough night, or at least had not mentioned it in well over a week. “Scary right? 15 days without the voices or the arms coming from the walls, or even Boris the void shaped cat.”

“That’s not a bad thing.” Logan eyed the other, trying to get a feel for how Wade was feeling about it. “It’s better than being scared.”

“I’m still scared.” Wade’s voice was soft as he played with Logan’s hair. “I’m even more terrified that nothing is happening. It feels like everything is waiting to give me a big fucking explosive episode where I think JFK is back from the dead with unicorns ready to take over France or some shit.”

Logan gripped the man tighter, pressing his face into Wade’s side. He let the full weight of his mental body lean into the merc, being his own personal weighted blanket. “Why would JFK want France? He was a smart man, he’d take over Canada or somewhere with oil. Lotta money with Oil.”

“Aren’t the Kennedys uber rich?” Wade questioned back, eyeing the TV. Logan looked up from his spot, Wade had Jeopardy playing at a low volume.

“The hell if I know. I’m not a Kennedy. Why do you think you are going to have a huge episode? Maybe your brain and meds are finally mixing right.” 

“It doesn’t feel right.” Wade tugged at Logan’s hair before petting it back down. “I feel like maybe I’m not crazy after all and don’t need the meds anymore.”  “Wade.” Logan groaned, sitting up from his spot. He threw an arm around Wade and pulled him close. Wade pressed his head into Logan’s shoulder with a sigh. “You still need your meds, you were just saying you were worried about Kennedy and unicorns.” 

“What if you’re wrong? What if I’m taking these meds when I don’t need them, and someone out there needs them and I’m just taking them for no damn reason?” Logan’s fingers found Wade’s skull and he started to massage the scared skin there.

“You are taking them for a reason. If you stop taking them you become really fucking depressed and paranoid. Remember last time? You stood naked in the middle of the fucking living room holding a spoon as a weapon because you thought a man was hiding behind a curtain.”

“In my defence I was thinking no one would want to fight me while seeing my naked body.” Logan bumped his head into Wade’s.

“I would, Bub.” Wade bumped his head back. He then let out a huge sigh letting everything drain from his body. 

“I don’t want to think anymore tonight Lo-Lo. Can you tell me a story about your world or something I can sleep to?” 

“We aren’t done talking about this.” He started but thought on it for a second. “It can wait until the morning.” Wade made a happy sound and snuggled down into bed. Logan joined him, pulling him close. He rested a hand on Wade’s cheek, and slowly ran his thumb over Wade’s cheek bone. 

“In my old world, Abraham Lincoln was a vampire hunter. It all started when he was a boy and…” Wade fell asleep to the rumble of Logan’s voice in the matter of minutes.

[chocalotekisses]

How I purposefully tr1gg3r myself.

Before I get into this, WARNING. This is for edblr/ shedblr. This is totally a roleplay. I’m writing a book or something. This is a space where everyone is safe, and I’m in a community where I’m on the road to recover. BLOCK, DON’T REPORT

Now, let’s get into what you came here for.

Obviously, scrolling twitter and tumblr. You get a bit desensitized to this type of content after a while so, I often switch it up. My all time favorite is watching TikToks of skinny WIEIAD.

Measure yourself and focus on your goals. Instead of thinking how far you are from that 20-inch-waist, think of how much closer you’d be if you started now. No time like the present.

Get a crush. Fictional or not. I always gaslight myself into thinking that whoever wouldn’t love me if I was unhealthy & overweight.

Manic episode. This may not work for all of you. But I don’t drink a lot of coffee and when I do, I get hyper. So down like three of those a day (after like a week of not having any caffeine) and be super productive. Convince yourself that working and getting things done gives you all the dopamine you need. (My screen time lowered to 6 hours last manic episode I had and I was omading + working out everyday.) Also making a big change in your life can spark a manic episode. Basically become euphoric. Manic episodes can last for months.

Look at triggering media. Books/movies/tv shows. I love watching British diet documentaries. There’s tons out there and I mayyy have a post revolving around this coming out soon!! *wink wink* I will link it when it’s out!

Think of how I’m just like my shit parents.

Think of that one bitch at school and how I have to be better than her. (For context, she’s a massive fake and has done some horrible things to me even tho she struggles w her mental health too. This isn’t blind hate towards this girl.)

Listen to certain songs that I associate w cvtting or starving. Here to stay by Korn is one of my favorites for s/h. Fiona apple & CSH is one of my faves for ⭐️⭐️ving.

Cvtting Punishment for being hungry or a reward for not eating. Either one. I don’t recommend starting s/h because of this, though. I’ve never been able to fully recover from it (duh)

Bodychecks. This kinda goes along with #2 but I just love looking at my arms and feeling over my hipbones and comparing it to my highest weight when I couldn’t feel any of my bones.

Pinterest. Obviously amazing for thinsp0000 and diet plans but I love watching those gym influencers workout. It makes me really motivated to look like them. Also looking at artwork of EDs triggers me.

Do it for your 13 year old self type shit. Your younger self wanted to feel confident and skinny right?? Heal your inner child nod become skinny. I HOPE THIS HELPED A LITTLE!! Remember that all of these won’t work for everyone. Find out what triggers you. And BE CAREFUL. Don’t die plese. Don’t push yourself too hard!! And DRINK WATERR!! Most people with restrictive Eds suffer dehydration (or die from it in extreme cases) because we get a lot of moisture from food. So sip from that bottle, beautiful person.

[charmac]

Danny did a little interview for AARP Magazine in December. I haven't seen it copied anywhere past the paywall and I enjoyed reading it, so wanted to repost here

(Article is pasted as text below the cut)

Noisemaker I was born in Asbury Park, New Jersey. I was the baby, my sister Theresa was 10 years older, my sister Angie was 16 years older, my mom had two sisters, and none of them shut up, ever. It’s an Italian family, so the decibel level is out there. A little smart aleck I went to Our Lady of Mount Carmel School, because if your mother and father didn’t know what to do with you, they gave you to the nuns. … and still a smart aleck I remember when Peter, my nephew, was born. I was 7 years old, and I went over and looked into the bassinet, and the first thing he did was pee on me. It was great! I don’t think there’s a conversation I’ve had with the guy over all these years where I don’t bring up the fact that he peed on me. Also an old softie Do anything you can to keep on an even keel with your family and friends, no matter what happens in your life. That’s all we have. Don’t hide things. You’ve got to get up every day thinking about how you’re going to make it easier for the people that you’re working with or that you love or that you eat breakfast with. Because it’s infectious; everybody starts feeling good. Falling into the business Growing up, I’d spend the weekends at the movies, but I actually wasn’t even thinking about doing it. I got introduced to the American Academy of Dramatic Arts in a roundabout way, took a couple classes, and I got the bug. And I thought, I’m not like Cary Grant, but I got a feel for this thing. So I studied, and then I went and started looking for jobs in New York, like every other actor does. I didn’t care what the description was—“male, 6 foot 4, 250 pounds”—I’d go out for the audition. Once I got in the room, I’m going to do what I’m going to do. Becoming Louie I wanted that part, Louie DePalma [in Taxi]. I walked into the room to audition in front of the four guys who created it, and I said, “One thing I want to know before we start. Who wrote this shit?” And I threw the script on the table. And I had a nanosecond of, did I screw everything up? Then they fell on the floor. Louie walked into their lives. Sudden fame I went to the market the day after the first episode aired, and people are stopping me on the street: “Hey, Louie!” They weren’t calling me Danny. After a couple of days of this, I called my publicist, and said, “This is really crazy. People are chasing me down the street.” He says, “Danny, you don’t have to worry until that stops happening.” Now it’s all, “Frank, Frank, Frank!” because of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, which is good. The fans are all you have. Still evolving I think I’m bolder than I’ve ever been—I don’t monitor myself as much. I do say things that are, like, pretty far out, that are really weird, and sometimes I’m inappropriate. But I am always respectful, and that’s because of my two sisters, I swear to God. You have to respect other people’s space.

My happy place Since my two grandbabies have been born, I am just in- corrigible. You gotta tamp me down in the joy department, you know what I’m saying? I’m just so lucky. Blessings have been showered down on me. I wish that for everybody.And the thing is to be aware of it. Don’t let it go. Rhea [Perlman, DeVito’s wife, from whom he is separated but with whom he still spends a lot of time] and I were always able to see those little, incremental changes when our kids were growing up. And I tell my kids that, with their babies: Don’t miss a thing, don’t look away. A sudden case of holidays I’m in the movie A Sudden Case of Christmas with my daughter Lucy, who plays my daughter. It’s just a real warm, wonderful movie, and I loved doing it. As far as the actual holidays go, we have family dinners. Basically we’re Italian, so you know, anybody who’s around, we grab. We get to celebrate all the holidays, because Rhea’s parents were Jewish, so we did all the Jewish holidays, and we do all the Catholic holidays or Italian holidays. My mantra It’s always a good thing to be positive about life, and always get out of bed thinking today’s the day you’re really going to kick its ass. That’s the way to do it

[parasolladyansy]

10 People I’d Like to Know Better Tag

Got tagged by @annchovi! LOL, let’s do this! ^o^/

—

Last Song: ÅMARA (sasakure feat. Hatsune Miku & KAITO) - there is a very cool Breath of the Wild / Tears of the Kingdom animation with this song by Dogfish!

Favorite Color: light blue 🩵 most of what I own is this color (like this blog lol) or like my cloudy clothes - some examples below! ☁️

Even my engagement ring is a beautiful light blue topaz - just as a reminder that you don’t have to have a diamond if there’s a color or stone that means more to you! 💍

Last Book: I actually can’t remember (I read a lot of random books from the library), so I’ll just give a shout out to one of my favorite graphic novel series, “Wonder Cat Kyuu-Chan”! Very, very wholesome. Might just reread them! 📖

Last Movie: again, I’m not sure (because I don’t watch a lot of movies lol). Might’ve been Transformers ONE (Very good! Very true to the source material!).

If this is for the “last movie I saw in theaters”, it was Wicked (can’t wait to watch part 2 even if part 1 was a marathon)

—

Last Game: Still Tears of the Kingdom, though I’ve also been playing a special new save in Pokémon Sword, hehehe! ⚔️

Last Show: Bee & Puppycat 🎀

I prefer to watch the YouTube series (including the pilot!), then watch Lazy in Space from episode 5 - episodes 1-4 is a retelling of the YouTube series & I don’t like it as much lol.

Sweet, Spicy, or Savory: Sweet! 🧁 Though I have this thing where I eat a sweet & then want something savory, & vice versa lol XD

Here’s two of my favorite baking books - I’ve made many wonderful desserts from both, they’re very simple to follow, & just about every recipe has a suggested flavor variation!

Relationship: married to my favorite person in the whoooooooole multiverse…whose birthday is tomorrow today (oops, past midnight)! Send him some birthday wishes! 🎂

I’m gonna make him a spice cake from the Snacking Cakes book, & give him an updated matching phone wallpaper (since this current one I made is a couple years old lol) 🩵🩵🩵

Last Internet Search: apart from searching for images for this silly tag Deerling images for my Deerling’s birthday gift (might be kinda late - my schedule’s been thrown all the way off lately =7=)

—

Tags if You Wanna Play!

@nartothelar

@theoddbun

@choochooboss

@djfan-naftv

@askdepotagentjosh (as Josh lol)

@beewitched-monday

@grubbin22

@gaysealprobably

@leech-eyez

@waywardstation

[dream-thief-forever-amen]

The thing I like best about Word of Honor is all the little couple fights. When they have their over dramatic moments and swear they are walking different paths of just crush each other with words and silence. And not five minutes later they are tiptoeing back into each other’s business. You ain’t still MAD is you can I offer you some fan flirting or eye contact or magical back massage or whatever see there there now we are right as rain… kisses and finger hearts and shit I love them

I also like all the magical martial arts musicians? I’m not sure what that’s about but it’s super fun. Especially when they’re wearing tons of chunky boho jewelry and fabulous eyeliner. Pluck those strings, bitch, play!

Also also the ghosts - I mean I don’t get it - they’re dead but also running around bleeding and hugging and face swapping. And how much overlap is there between the lesbian scorpions and the ghosts are they one and the same is this just a sect I’m so confused but they’re all extra sulky and spiteful so they are my favs and I get upset when one of them perishes - even though they’re already ghosts so… re-perish?

I love it. Please don’t explain a thing to me I honestly am having more fun just going with the flow. Oh, this is happening? Cool, cool.

My boys just drinking nonstop, lounging on rooftops, gently flying through the air. I want a bird to fly past them… like a big V of noisy geese who are like honk honky you silly boys put your backs into it you’re holding up the line here we are moving and you two are just leisurely gliding around like butterflies.

Also that kid had jewelry in his gut this whole time and just sliced himself right up without any warning and I was like HOLY shit little bang boy you are a tough cookie after all. Holding up that black bloody chunk and the dude is like gross let me sanitize this thing first while the little bang boy is like wait you got alcohol over there cause I am in need sir

And I may never recover from the love struck rich dufus telling everyone he spent the night with his crush to protect her secret but also the audacity that cute little minx I wanna squeeze his cheeks and smack his behind and pat him on the head cause he’s got great taste in women that’s for sure - little plucky girl is a true beauty

But not as beautiful and mysterious as evil braid boy and his flawless eyeliner and moonshine facial highlights boy those cheekbones be glowing! I don’t even remember who he is - I assume he wants the blue glass bangle too for the armory or whatever or does he want something else? Baddie I hope you get it all honey you deserve it… that sort of devotion to a goth aesthetic deserves the world - the whole world - where is your soul mate? I feel like he’d be well suited to travel the world with a talking black cat or something…

Sigh.

I don’t get the whole nails in the chest thing either but I like a pitiful man and I love the flirty king who’s determined to save him and I can’t wait to figure out how they’ll get out of this or both die and be reincarnated as geese or whatever is gonna happen down the line it’s too campy to completely break my heart I think so I have faith they’ll pull through and find ways to stay drunk for all eternity together. And forget about the nails what about your livers??? Guess that magic flute cures hangovers too

[embv]

I think everyone’s subscribing to the “Helena Infiltration Theory” WAYY too quickly. I kinda feel like a lot of the oddities in the way she was acting could be chalked up to something else, and defaulting to “that’s not Helly” feels a lot like… I don’t know, like brushing off character flaws by saying, “No, [X] is possessed! That’s not actually them!”

I’d probably buy into it a bit more if she didn’t have that moment in the halls with Mark where she fervently said, “We’re not the same, actually. Us and the outies, we’re not.”

There are reasons why Helly would want to lie about her identity, and chief among them is the fact that she hates her outie—desperately wants to place distance between them, desperately wants to convince herself that the person she saw wasn’t her.

But there are compelling reasons for both angles, and I can’t say that I won’t be scanning future episodes for hints to either prove or disprove this, so… cheers, 🥂.

[kelin-is-writing]

I’m so not okay… I’m not okay at all actually…

[sesamestreep]

“requiem for methuselah” crazy ass episode for many reasons. Kirk is being fully insane, like I don’t actually think, even controlling for how quickly and easily and readily he seems to fall in love with anybody at the slightest encouragement, that he’d go that bonkers for that android woman he just met while everyone on the ship was this close to dying, but that’s neither here nor there, because in the background you’ve got an equally but much more subtly insane episode for Spock, who extremely uncharacteristically admits to experiencing an emotion (or nearly experiencing, whatever) and that emotion is ENVY of all things. And then spends the rest of the episode warning Kirk away from this new love interest (something that doesn’t usually happen, even when Kirk has very inadvisable love interests) and is, in the end, the person who accurately identifies that Rayna’s competing love for Kirk and Flint is ultimately what overwhelms and destroys her with the most killer line in maybe history???

And then to wrap it up we get an equally uncharacteristic sort of denouement scene (TOS loooves to cut an episode off right after the actual climax, leaving little time for falling action or character reflection, or to stick a sitcom-y button on the end where the gang all smiles and laughs at their misadventures and everything resets to zero, which is not a criticism, it’s just the style of that era of tv, honestly) where Kirk is literally miserable over Rayna’s death (again, kind of unusual for a lot of his love interests, he tends to be able to move on pretty quickly) and Spock goes to see him and he falls asleep right in front of Spock (also odd) and then when Bones comes in to give the final word on Flint, Spock waves him off from waking the Captain (tender) and Bones gives him that awful speech about how it’s sadder that Spock can’t even imagine the love Kirk felt for this random android woman than it is that Kirk lost her in the first place (debatable but also rude) and how his great tragedy is that he can’t love at all like they can and how all he wishes is that Kirk could forget about all of this and move on. AND THEN, to have Bones leave and Spock go over to Kirk and very gently, tenderly, reluctantly touch him and put his hand to his forehead and tell him to forget and HAVE THAT BE THE END OF THE EPISODE??? What am I supposed to do with that??

[undead-moth]

I'm also just thinking about how people's frustration with The Bear this season in general and not just with SydCarmy is so indicative of how little people understand about story writing.

I got my BA in fiction writing which doesn't make me the world's leading expert or anything but I know enough to know that The Bear is exceptionally well-written and most of the complaints about this season stem from not knowing anything about writing a story.

And on top of this, the same people who don't know anything about writing a story are used to consuming really bad stories because right now, we're in one of the worst eras of television and honestly, writing in general, ever.

Because right now there's no expectation or requirement for a show or book to be well-written before production or publication. There's no requirement for it to actually be good, or for it to even make any sense at the writing level. All that matters is that people will watch it or read it and since people can't tell the difference between good writing and bad writing and largely aren't watching or reading for that reason anyway, who cares?

It's just an endless cycle.

Audiences don't recognize nor want good writing > Producers and publishers don't require nor pursue good writing > Writers that ultimately become successful can't nor need to write well > And the cycle starts over.

And because people are so used to bad writing, and can’t tell the difference between good and bad writing, and don’t want good writing anyway, when a show like The Bear comes around, a show that doesn’t hold their hand and explain everything to them or doesn’t spoon-feed them exactly what they want, a show that isn’t going to sacrifice the narrative through-line just to cut to the romantic chase - people are not only confused but pissed.

And then the most frustrating part of all this is that people then come to the conclusion the writer’s are bad at writing.

It is so bleak to be an aspiring writer right now, I swear.

[rist-ix]

https://www.tumblr.com/rist-ix/749015401700229120 not you reblogging this when you ship bloom with the man who murdered her family 😭

Bloom's into ppl who slay! Hope this helps :3

[hana-bobo-finch]

a strange trend in my favorite characters I realize is that I tend to heavily gravitate toward somewhat obscure, antagonistic forces

[kathybluecaller]

not even a shipper but i am heavily sleep deprived, me brain got hit by the sillies, and conjured up the thought of mid hand stroke Hyoga regains consciousness and wakes up to basically this

[daincrediblegg]

Not gonna lie I do think tv peaked with stargate sg1

[seddair]

,

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

me when the dissociation causes memory loss: *surprised Pikachu*

[clownsnake]

I don’t think hyeonseong needed to remember dokja’s order to think about him if something goes wrong. I think he’s just always thinking abt dokja

and I love him for that