#I do very productive things with my times and can be trusted with Pinterest and tumblr guys I swear
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caterpillarinacave · 29 days ago
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NATM Textposts; Part 3/???
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cieloclercs · 1 year ago
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Eternal life
Oscar piastri x russian figure skater
the ice queen — oscar piastri
pairing. oscar piastri x russian figure skater!reader
face claim. alina zagitova
warnings. swearing, google translate russian (im sorry), look guys i know the winter olympics were last year but for the sake of this they’re this year ok ?? 🙏 i used pictures from oscar’s sprint podium in spa for singaore (which obviously isn’t accurate plz overlook it hehe)
author’s note. hello anon! i hope you enjoy this, sorry it took so long ❤️
requests are still open for my 1k event! send something in if you’d like <3
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liked by oscarpiastri and 76,264 others
yourusername swipe for a fail 🥴
view all comments…
yourfriend1 pleased to announce i got said fail on video ☺️
yourusername if you ever show that to anyone i’ll smother you in your sleep.
yourfriend1 wow 😃
yourfriend2 i feel like one of those aesthetic skater pinterest girls in the second picture
yourusername we definitely pulled off the pinterest girlie vibes 👍👍
yourcoach очень продуктивная сессия! 👍 / very productive session !
yourusername я знаю точно 😃 / i know right
username yourcoach i’m sensing some sarcasm 🤔
username no shit sherlock 🙄
username MY FAV TRIO IS BACKKKK
username girllll are you competing at the winter olympics ?? i won’t take no for an answer btw you better be there. 🔪
yourusername in that case yes !!! 😀
username olympic champion 🔜
yourusername 😉
username hold up what’s oscar doing here? 🤨
username who tf is oscar
username oscar piastri, he’s a formula 1 driver for mclaren
username and he’s lurking in MY WIFE’S likes?? get tf out of here he drives cars in circles for a living 😭😭
username can you blame him tho y/n’s this total badass skating GODDESS and he’s just a silly little aussie like ofc he’s infatuated with her 😒😒😒
username guys all he did was like her post no need to create an entire backstory out of it 😭 they’re both highly successful sportspeople so they probably just mix in the same circles from time to time 🤷‍♀️
username boo you’re ruining my fun 🙄
username МОЯ ЛЕДЯНАЯ КОРОЛЕВА 🩵 / MY ICE QUEEN
username word on the street is oscar’s liking this girlie’s post 🤔🤔 now i just have to figure out who she is 😃
username girl u can’t be serious 😭
username how do u not know who y/n is are you living under a rock
username no?? should i know who she is?? 😭
username erm YES
username i simultaneously love and hate how this oscar dude has liked ONE y/n post and suddenly all the f1 fangirls have appeared 😭 go find a hobby plz i beg you x
username jokes on you, stalking potentially new f1 wags IS our hobby
username that’s quite possibly the saddest thing i’ve ever read
username as both an f1 and a skating fan, OSCAR GIRLIES I BEG YOU PLEASE DONT DRAG Y/N INTO THIS IK HOW CRAZY Y’ALL CAN GET
username babe what are they gonna do 😭 she’s y/n y/l/n she has like universal immunity from haters lol
username you’re clearly not an f1 fan and it SHOWS 😭😭
username sweetie i’ve watched the f1 girlies single handedly DESTROY relationships do not underestimate them
username ^^ does anyone know if they’re being dramatic or not??
username long-time f1 fan here !! trust me, they’re not.
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liked by yourusername and 23,815 others
oscarpiastri Ready to shine in Singapore 🇸🇬🤩
view all comments…
username LET’S GOOO OSCAR
username podium loading…
username i’ve got £50 riding on you getting a podium don’t let me down 💪💪
username so this is oscar piastri… 🤨
username uh oh the skater girls have arrived 😨
username *y/n girls
username no one gets into y/n’s inner circle without our approval first 🤭
username and you called US sad 😭
username how the fuck is this guy expecting to be able to pull a queen like y/n 😭😭
username seriously he looks so silly 🥴
username guys he only liked her post they probably don’t even know each other 🙄 stop making drama out of nothing jeez
username yikes someone sounds jealous…
username he looks goofy, next please 😒
yourfriend1 literally what i said smh
username PHAHAHA WHAT
username girl 😭
username i hate to break it to you oscar, the y/n girls are never going to accept you x
username yeah sorry babe, you’re just not worthy of our ice queen 😘
username the way y/n’s literally a thousand leagues above him 😔😔 the pain of being a badass bitch 🥲
username BACK OFF FROM MY WIFE Y/N YOU DONT DESERVE HER
username y’all are crazy what 😭
username imagine thinking THIS GUY stands a chance with the hottest woman alive and future olympic champion 😭😭 i’d be so embarrassed 😭
username he looks like a capybara tf
username STOP PHAHAHHA WHY DO I SEE IT
username lmao if y/n and oscar ever do end up dating he’s not going to live this down 😭
landonorris oscarpiastri since when did you become enemy number 1 to the ice skating community
oscarpiastri 🤷‍♀️
username LANDO OH MY GOD 😭
username PHAHAHHAA HE KNOWS THEY BOTH KNOW
username poor oscar getting dragged by the most intense fandom on earth 😭
yourusername 🧡
oscarpiastri 😊👑
username WOAH WOAH WOAH
username THEYRE INTERACTING OMG EVERYONE STAY CALM
username EXCUSE ME THE CROWN EMOJI?? HES ACKNOWLEDGING THE QUEEN AS HE SHOULD
username no.
username this can’t be happening
username oscarpiastri LEAVE MY WIFE ALONE BITCH 🤺🤺
username y/n you’ve just made everything so much worse 😭
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yourusername
replies:
oscarpiastri cute cap, where’d you get it?
↳ yourusername this weird australian guy gave it to me. idk i would have preferred a number 4 🤷‍♀️
↳ oscarpiastri you sure? i heard number 81’s the favourite for a podium this week 😏
↳ yourusername we’ll see 🙃
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liked by yourusername and 50,367 others
oscarpiastri First ever F1 podium 🧡 Let’s keep them coming 😉
view all comments…
username YES OSCARRRRR
username my driver 🧡🫶
username LEGEND 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺
landonorris congrats mate! the extra motivation did you some good 😉
oscarpiastri it sure did :)
username excuse me? 🤨
username lando. what do u know.
username i bet this has something to do with y/n
username girl bffr 🙄
username LANDO I JUST WANNA TALK (tell me what u know rn.) 🔫🔫
mclaren Doing us proud 🥹🧡
*oscarpiastri liked this comment
username best rookie since hamilton button >>>
*liked by yourusername and 5,217 others
carlitosalcarazz Congratulations, amigo! 😁
oscarpiastri Thanks mate! 😊😊
username AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE
username the y/n girlies have been real quiet so far 🤨
username they’re finally realising oscar isn’t just some nobody 😭
username he might not be a nobody but one podium still doesn’t make him good enough 🥰
username y’all are psycho i swear 😭
yourfriend1 ok maybeee he’s not that bad 🙄🙄
*yourusername liked this comment
username omg the y/f/n seal of approval ??? ITS HAPPENING
username calm down nothing’s happened yet 😭 as far as we know they’re not even friends lmao let alone dating
username girl did you even see y/n’s story she was literally in the mclaren garage repping oscar’s merch 😭😭
yourusername incredible 🧡
oscarpiastri Thank you for your support today 🧡 Hope you liked the cap 😊
username wait hold on a second OSCAR GAVE HER THAT CAP???
username HES GIVING HER HIS MERCH NOW??
username oh they DEFINITELY into each other 😏
username oscar’s such a simp oh my god she turns up to one race and he’s giving her his merch 😭😭 what a dork
username i mean it’s y/n y/l/n can you blame him 🤷‍♀️
username i fear we’ve lost her y/n nation 😔
username as much as it pains me to say it i think you might be right 🥲
username i just can’t believe we’ve lost her to a guy who drives in circles for a living 🙄
username doesn’t y/n skate in circles? the shade works both ways honey 😚
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yourusername thank you for having me mclaren 🥰 and congratulations to oscarpiastri on your first f1 podium !! i had a blast 🧡🧡
view all comments…
mclaren Glad to have you on board, champ 🧡 See you again soon 😉
*yourusername liked this comment
landonorris you do know oscar’s not the only mclaren driver right 😃
yourusername the only mclaren driver with a podium this week though 🙃
oscarpiastri Thank you Y/N 😊🧡
yourusername 🫶
comments on this post have been limited.
months later…
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oscarpiastri
replies:
landonorris ice queen? 🤨
↳ oscarpiastri of course
↳ landonorris simp.
yourusername
replies:
oscarpiastri ouch ☹️
↳ yourusername just telling you what you need to hear, babe ☺️
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liked by oscarpiastri and 112,678 others
yourusername олимпийский чемпион! после стольких лет упорной работы я не могу поверить, что эта мечта наконец-то осуществилась 🥹 я хочу поблагодарить многих людей, которые помогли мне достичь этого: моего тренера, моих товарищей по команде, мою семью. я бы не справилась без каждого из вас! 🤍
olympic champion! after all the years of hard work, i can’t believe this dream has finally come true 🥹 there are so many people i want to thank for helping me get to this point: my coach, my teammates, my family. i couldn’t have done this without any of you! 🤍
i also want to thank my boyfriend and number one supporter oscarpiastri for putting up with me these last few months of prep 😭 i don’t know what i would have done without you 🥹 love you baby ❤️
oscarpiastri congratulations, my love 🩷 i’m so proud of you 😘
yourusername 💗💗
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crowchemicals · 2 years ago
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Things i think Lucifer would do while you're dating
♥︎fluffy fluff all over, sfw
✧ i don't think there's any warnings i should put here other than me projecting onto my favourite babygirl. and very soft Luci 🙏 (my personal religion)
☆ these are purely some scenarios i like to think about often in my lil fantasy world in my head, (and yes this is still and art account i don't write much<33)
• He keeps a list of things you like so he can get them for you. He's very observant, especially when it comes to his beloved, so if he sees something catch your eye while on an outing or you've liked/shared an item on your story/ saved something pretty to pinterest (which he follows but won't admit it. it's not like he really uses the app for anything other than gift ideas for you anyway) he will keep it in mind and write it down in his notes app when you're not looking/there.
• He brings you flowers every week. He learns flower language so he can give you the most meaningful bouquets he can. When they start wilting he immediately replaces them with fresh ones, but he doesn't throw the bouquets away, he proudly displays them in vases around his study.
• You mentioned your favorite snack/sweets (that you can't find in the devildom) once in a conversation with Asmo that he overheard and since then he periodically goes up to the human world to stock up on them so you can have a treat whenever you like :)
• He asks you to do his nails one time as an excuse to get away from paperwork for a little bit and spend some time with you, and you both started gossiping and just talking about RAD, his brothers, etc, and this has since become a routine between you two, one day a week either in his room or yours you get together to sit on the floor while you do his nails and gossip
• he has awful night terrors and has no idea how to cope with them, of course he can't go telling anyone about them that would be embarrassing but he also doesn't want to worry anybody. he's the big brother he's not supposed to show any weaknesses so that his brothers have someone to rely on (shhh I'm projecting) so he distracts himself with work and music, he's lost too much sleep over these kind of nights. One night after you two had been dating for a while though he woke up in a cold sweat and while his first instinct was to go to your room there was something stopping him. So he turned to distracting himself again this time by putting on your favourite show/movie. And he continues doing this every time he has a nightmare until he feels comfortable sharing such vulnerability with you. He finds it oddly comforting even if it's a genre he wouldn't typically enjoy, remembering you talking so fondly about it gives it a different kind of vibe, sometimes depending on how exhausted he is or how bad the night terror was he'll fall asleep with it in the background.
• Takes interest in your hobbies and makes sure you never run out of supplies and new things to try out. And if he sees you eyeing anything relating to your craft or a game or ANYTHING REALLY you'll have it the next day
• Will ask you to come do your work/chill in his study while he's working as a way to spend time together, in the beginning he says it's bc you'll be able to focus better since no one will disturb you there and there's less noise but later he realises that your presence helps him be more productive so when he feels his motivation and focus slip he'll come into your room to do the rest of his paperwork next to you or if you're sleeping in his bedroom that night he'll come work at his desk there, as long as he can be near you he has a reason to finish his work faster.
• Lucifer being an exhausted older sister™️, never really gets to let his guard down so when he trusts you enough he'll finally let his mask slip and give up control for a moment (something all of us wish we could do tbh). someone go bigspoon this man he needs it.
• ^ so he likes to walk up to your/his bed after a long day and just plop on top of you in his pjs and demon form, he knows he's heavy, he knows you were reading but tbh he doesn't care he needs to be held right this instant. bonus points for you if play with his wings, scratch his head esp near the horns or rub his back. you're never getting rid of him now.
• he's so interested by everything you tell him, you wanna explain the plot of a new book in excruciating detail? tell him all the hot gossip you've been hearing from your friends at RAD/Asmo? Make him watch a 10 season long show while explaining every minor thing? go ahead, he will literally give you his full attention if he's not swarmed with paperwork. he'll remember 99.9% of what you tell him too.
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delicatelypearl · 3 months ago
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With classes starting up again just around the corner, here are some tips to make sure you have a great semester/year! 📓🦢🩷✏️
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🎀 Start by starting new. Think of this semester and school year as a fresh start - because that’s what it is! Let go of the past and turn over a new leaf. Really embrace the fact that this is a new school year! This can be mentally, psychically, and emotionally! I get more into it later on in this post!
🎀 Pick out your own school supplies!Having supplies you like really helps to keep you motivated. For example, most people forget to use their planners, but if you find a planner you really like, you’re more likely to keep up with using it! For my college girlies, I know many school supplies aren’t as necessary, but small things like cute notebooks, nice pens, and a laptop case can help with your entire vibe!
🎀 Before school starts, clean your room! This may be very obvious to some, but a clean room = clean mind. Make your space yours. Clean your room at home before moving into your dorm, too. You don’t want to come home over holiday breaks to a messy room! Keep up with cleaning your dorm to help make it a sacred space for yourself. Get organized! Make a system that works. Bring items with you that will make it a homey and comfortable space for you to be in! If you have roommates, I would recommend putting a cleaning schedule in place. For example, one week your roommate cleans the room, takes out the trash, etc. and the next week, you do the same. It becomes much easier to manage and you’ll come to find out that cleaning is very helpful and relaxing! I always found that my dorm rooms were such small spaces, there wasn’t much room for messes anyways. However my room did get quite dusty often and did require some vacuuming!
🎀 Don’t be afraid to romanticize your life. Your life is a tv show, and you are the main character! Confidence is key. Trust me, positivity and confidence are very attractive and more people will want to be around you if you radiate positivity! Sometimes it even helps to have a ‘Study like ____’ mindset. Think of a character that has passion and confidence in their studies, and kind of romanticize being like them (Hermione granger, Rory Gillmore, Elle Woods, Blair Waldorf). Looking these up on Pinterest really helps!
🎀 Put effort into your appearance & outfits! I always felt that if I look good, I feel good too. I know it’s very common to have motivation to dress nice in the start of a school year, but always seem to not be able to keep up with it past the first week. If you’re going to college, it helps to bring more options for nicer clothes and limit comfy clothes, which kind of forces you to wear more than sweats and a tshirt everyday. It helps to plan out your outfits the night before, or even the week before. If this feels like too much, you can start by picking one or two days out of the week to be a ‘dress-up’ day! I did this last year on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays, which happened to be the days I had the most classes on. This really helped me to stay motivated and confident, and so I definitely recommend doing this! Along with that, this summer I’ve been really immersing myself in all types of makeup products, hair styles, and body care items, so I know which ones I should take back to school with me. Doing this makes me feel like I’m starting over brand new, on a clean slate as well. If you feel like you’re in need of a glow-up, this is definitely something to keep in mind! (Although you’re beautiful the way you are! Sometimes people just outgrow old habits!)
🎀 Make a vision board!!!! I really cannot stress this enough, but make a vision board! I made one at the beginning of the year, and mostly everything I put into it has come true! All of the things I had put on my vision board came true: I found a fun job, while it’s not going to be a life-long career for me, I’m still bringing money in for the time being. In 2023, I was in a really bad spot with friends, and now I have found amazing friends that I’m so grateful for! I got into a relationship, and even though it didn’t last and it wasn’t right for me, a relationship was something I had on my board that I had never done before. I get good grades at school, I have attended multiple concerts, and even went to the beach, which was all something I had on my board. I decided to make a new one for the fall semester of my school year, kind of so I could start fresh and just update it to where I’m at mentally now! Even if you did make one at the start of 2024, A lot has happened in the past eight months, so it’s always good to update it. Never stop visualizing things you want in life!
🎀 This one is definitely easier said than done, but really put yourself out there! !!!!GET INVOLVED!!!! Join clubs, volunteer, join sororities, join sports, make friends at the gym, go to parties, get involved with people from your major, make connections, get a campus job, reach out to professors (ask questions!), go to school organized events (even if they sound super boring!) even if it’s just leaving your dorm every night to go to the dining hall…be social!!!! I truly cannot stress this enough. I knew of people who never left their dorms, and they never made friends that way. They hated school and were miserable! College is supposed to be a time of self-discovery and finding your people, so go out and do just that! Go out of your comfort zone! If you’re entering your freshman year, nobody knows who you are, so you need to make that name for yourself! This might seem like a lot of pressure to handle, but it’s really not. Everyone is in the same boat, they’re all looking for friends. Making friends and connections really helps your year go by so much easier and quicker.
🎀 AVOID DRAMA AT ALL COSTS. Drama is so middle school! Ew! Really, in the long run of things, drama has no effect on you whatsoever. If you’re in college, it’s time for you to mature from the high school drama mindset. I learned this the hard way, and I surrounded myself with people who hadn’t grown from that yet. They incorporated drama into everything we did, and it was so draining. I eventually got away from them, and it was so worth it! You already have so much on your plate with your studies, no one really has time to deal with silly drama. It’s only going to give you unnecessary stress and distract you from what’s really important! No one has time or energy for that! Focus on yourself and what you need!
🎀 Create a routine and STICK TO IT!!! The first 1-2 weeks of a new year can always be difficult, but once you have that new schedule down, that’s when it gets easier. Create a routine for yourself that incorporates all your classes, study time, meals, self care time, and social time and anything else you want to accomplish, and you’re set! Don’t be afraid to hold yourself accountable! ♡
🎀 Make time for yourself. Don’t overextend yourself trying to do things for others. This is your life, so do things for you! Always set aside a specific amount of time each day for you to be alone with yourself and your thoughts. Try not to be on your phone either. Try to be completely unplugged. Maybe try journaling, doing some self care, crafting, or doing any hobby that you enjoy! Being okay with being alone is what one needs!
I may think of more things to come, but for now this is what comes to mind immediately. You can ask me any questions and I’ll do my best to answer them ♡
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vixonspixels · 11 months ago
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Hi, I love your profile and sims! I’m ‘kind of’ new to the sims world! I’ve been playing since 2018, but not religiously. I just wanted to ask about your mods folder (sorry if it states somewhere on your profile these kind of questions aren’t allowed, i’m new to tumblr too and still understanding how it works). Feel free to ignore this question if it’s not allowed. I understand that by having lots of folders within the mods folder it can make the game lag. I just wanted to ask how your mods folder looks? As I want to keep mine tidy and be able to find certain cc easily. I’m also in the process of buying a pc as I am currently using a macbook and have so much cc it’s starting to not work… If you have any tips or suggestions with having a pc (if you have one yourself) and how your set up looks, I would really appreciate it. Thank you!! 🤍
Hello darling and thankyou so much! 🤍 Welcome to tumblr 💁‍♀️🤍
I think lag in your game mostly depends on what kind of computer/laptop you're using. I have just over 50gb at the moment and my game still runs as smooth as it does vanilla ( no mods at all ). I know some people who have 100gb+ and they don't have lag issues either. Again I think it boils down to the computer itself, and what it can handle
I personally chose to go for a custom built computer so that I could choose my own parts as I really wanted a computer that could handle a lot of mods and also I wanted my game to run nice and smoothly, my partner is a bit of a nerd when it comes to computers so he knew exactly what kind of specs I needed
When it comes to my mods folder I am super organised, that way when patch day comes I know exactly where everything is to be able to take it out of my mods folder until its updated etc. I'll pop in some photos of what my folder looks like so you can see below. Trust me it didn't always look like this 😂
If you're struggling with lag then a short term fix would be to have a good clear out of your mods folder and delete everything that you don't reach for often, you can even go as far as deleting swatches of clothes and build buy items that you don't like. I cleared around 5gb last week just by removing swatches from some build buy items that were high in mb's. For example, I had a bed frame that was 320mb in size so I deleted all of the swatches except for the one that I liked the most lol
What my mods folder looks like
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The only suggestion I will give regarding picking a computer out is to take your time and do your research! I really rushed my build and didn't want to wait for the white case that I liked so I ended up with the black one I have now that doesn't match my set up at all haha
When getting your computer the main things to look out for is making sure you've got enough storage and a good graphics card, obviously everything is important but these two for me where the main ones I focused on. If you do go custom built for example, you can always upgrade your parts very easily, where as if its pre built I'm not too sure if the cases are universal to fit different brands of parts in if that makes sense?
I am in no way a pro, I had alot of help from my partner when it came to building my computer. If you need help when the time comes feel free to give me a message and I can run things by my partner to help you choose what parts or pre built etc
I'll leave a few photos below of what my setup looks like, I just got the aurora collection for christmas and I also have the razer quartz collection too ( I prefer the aurora lol ). I can easily recommend you some good equipment also if you're not into the aurora or razer products. If you're looking for set up inspo then I would highly recommend browsing through Pinterest, that's where I got the majority of ideas for the aesthetic of mine. Pink and white are my favourite colours, hence the colour palette haha
If you need any help at all with specs or anything else at all feel free to pop me a message or reply to this post 🤍
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553everly · 2 years ago
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a success story ++ how i did it.
what did i get ?
so recently i manifested a new house + a superior job to mom ++ large amounts of money coming toward all of us. THOSE WERE UNDER A WEEK.
i also started building my dream wardrobe slowly with amazing clothing items. bought bags, my desired skincare products + desired makeup items too.
Eating sushi and dumplings for the first time !! DUMPLINGS WERE FIRE !! sushi was good, and i ate avocado for the first time?? i discovered I'm not into it in any way and removed it along w sushi from my life board at Pinterest (I was planning to be eating am sushi in my life along w avocado in my salads or wtv)
basically everything is going perfectly my way lately and everything feels very amazing.
what i actually did ?
A PINTEREST BOARD trust me, it's like a vision board and your mind needs a guide to know where it's going. make a Pinterest board with everything you want, and take a look at it affirming "my life is exactly like what I'm looking at rn" or wtv affs you like, you can use a sub too. Just add wtv you desire type of beauty, desired body, your lifestyle, fashion, grades, room, house, car, items, food. Literally everything ! I literally ate the same sushi that was in my board + bought same skincare and makeup products. It's so powerful. ( You can use a sub along w it.)
I had a mindset playlist. it included everything i ever thought i needed. yk like master manifestor / manifest for others ect.
it can be at any length tbh, depends on the how much time you have at morning! you can listen to the 10 mins the only sub you'll ever need by iwantitigetit or her recent one or v1per's whatever. You can ask for my recommendations too !
anyways once the playlist is ready (can even include one sub) you go prepare your daily affirmations. just a collection of affirmations that you'll repeat ×3 times.
For me - i had two parts of affirmations. Ones with self concept + self esteem + self love + self confidence affirmations.
the other with the i am a master manifestor, everything works out in my favour, i am living my dream life +++ specific affirmations with a feeling (creds to the owner) like I feel so safe and secure now that I have moved into my desired house.... something like that, the feeling can be gratitude.
AND THAT'S IT. Literally.
ill share the affirmations i used to say (creds to the owner since I stole them from random affs posts i saw in here + ig)
the affirmations.
SELF CONCEPT : My manifesting journey has always been easy fun and beautiful.
I’ve always been a master at manifesting. I’ve already manifested everything I wanted. I accept my power to create the life of my dreams I’m beyond powerful and in control nothing can deny my desires. I live in a state of bliss pleasure stable calmness peace and wealth. I’m divinely blessed in life. my life keep changing for the better. I’m a magnet for miracles blessings and abundance. Good things keep happening to me. My life has always been perfect I am always in a good mood and state of life. everything is perfect and I worry about nothing. I’m completely healed inside and out. I have a perfect mental health. I’ve never been healthier and happier. I am enough worthy and safe. I am the girl who has it all. I am worthy of everything I want. I am worthy of everything I have. I am stable and secure. I’m always safe and protected. I’m a master at manifesting. I can have anything I want. my life is beyond perfection. I manifest what I want effortlessly. I’ve always been rich. I can afford anything I want.
AFFIRMATIONS :
I literally have all my desires in a blink of an eye. I always get what I want no matter what. It’s insane how many blessings and abundance rains down on me. I'm so blessed. I’m the chosen one, the luckiest person on earth. My life is always on the right path to true success happiness abundance and love. Everyone aspires to be me and do all the things I do. I live a life of extreme luxury and wealth. Everything I touch turns to gold.I can afford anything I want. I get pampered and spoiled every single day. Im the type of cool you can’t buy or fake. I’m ambitious driven and disciplined. Nothing can stop me.
I’m the most successful and wealthy person to ever exist. Every time I breathe I’m sent a miracle blessing and money. I have men and women all over me. I’m pursued by the hottest richest and nicest people. People always respect me. People would move mountains for me. i’m always the first choice and top priority. I’m so beyond spoiled and rich it’s insane how much I have. everyone wants to spoil me that’s why I receive the VIP treatment 24/7. I deserve the absolute best and most lavish in life and I’m getting it. My self concept and self esteem is sky high. Nothing can break my confidence. I’m one of a kind and everyone knows it.
CHALLENGE AFFIRMATIONS : i am living my dream life. I have my ideal face, I have my ideal body, I live in mom's ideal house and have my ideal room, mom has her ideal job and i study my ideal major in my ideal country and city, every wish of mine is granted. i manifest effortlessly. everything always goes my way. i deserve the best and i never settle for less. i only get princess treatment. my friend group loves and supports me. my mom and siblings are loving and supportive. i am full of love for myself. i am never ashamed to put myself first. i am at peace with myself and others. I am unbothered. I do my own thing proudly. I am so incredibly happy and grateful that I get to live such an amazing life. I get richer day by day. everytime i blink i earn money. getting money is so easy for me. i can afford everything I want. my money is always wisely spent. being rich is my destiny. i am basically an extremely powerful money magnet. i have always been rich. I always have more than enough money. I am literally a billionaire. I am worthy of being rich.
the end <3
IT IS LONG I KNOW my sub playlist was like + an hour long. i just have so many free time at morning so. you can do yours at night, whenever you're free. GOOD LUCK !!
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draintheblood · 2 years ago
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Hey!! I’m so sorry about the insomnia thing. I struggled BAD with this for about a year (not continuously thank goodness). It was onset insomnia where I wouldn’t fall asleep until 6-7am. I was exhausted, scared, and desperate.
I’ll relay what ended up helping me. First it’s important to know that my insomnia was a product of extreme anxiety about sleep and exhaustion itself, so all the tips out there about “sleep hygiene” and having a bedtime routine or evening meditation , etc actually made my insomnia worse, because it caused me to obsess too much over the mere concept of sleep and make too big a fuss over the whole process - what should be a natural, easy process when you’re feeling tired, right? Ha, wrong. Brain said no we’re staying awake EXTRA long now.
I relied instead more on distraction, and on reframing the importance I was putting on sleep. All the advice says “stay off your phone!” to get better sleep, but for me having my phone accessible in bed was a godsend to distract me when I would lie down and feel the anxiety and spiraling thought patterns kick up. I’d browse tumblr, or pinterest, read fanfic, and watch ASMR videos - anything that could help keep my mind occupied and not focused on the duality of feeling both exhausted and hyper-awake. This was big for managing it in the moment. Reading a book was also a great thing to do although sometimes hard because it would require turning on the light or sitting up in bed, which frequently felt like too much.
There’s lots of research out there that yells about the “danger” of not getting enough sleep. This definitely contributed to my anxiety. Our bodies are adaptable and resilient. Getting in touch with that deep trust and knowledge is difficult ( esp when the body doesn’t seem to be *cooperating*) but ultimately can make the experience less acutely frightening. Also! There’s research emerging that says that a) we NEED less sleep than we think and b) we often sleep more than we estimate and c) even if you’re lying in bed quietly but awake all night, you’re still getting some valuable rest-induced benefits! That last one was a massive positive discovery and helped me accept my body and mind in the moment and release the intensity of my need for control over how they were both behaving.
Other things that definitely helped over time (not immediately in most cases - it’s okay if it takes a few days or weeks, remember that): magnesium glycinate supplements and magnesium topical lotion/spray before bed, l-theanine throughout the day and evening, phosphatidylserine before bed, getting unfiltered bright morning sunlight each day, using a white noise machine and eye mask. I also found sleep-specific edibles to be really helpful, although I know you mentioned those didn’t work so well for you. It’s highly variable based on formula. I used Kiva brand and that might not be available in your area. They helped take the edge off at night so I couldn’t even get anxious in the first place which is why they worked - so anything similar for you would be a good starting point idea (not alcohol tho - that one screws with your ability to sleep).
Last major thing that helped me was another mindset based shift: I thought about all the days I survived already on slim-to-none sleep, all the things I accomplished and the moments of enjoyment I still was able to have despite the lack of rest and underlying exhaustion. And I reminded myself that I was still capable of living life even without lots of sleep (helps to really think about the times you’ve deliberately chosen to skip out on sleep for really special or fun reasons too! Those count! Those are evidence you can get through it!). Trust your body WILL get the rest it needs, sooner or later. It wants to keep you alive and it’s very VERY good at it in most circumstances, I promise. The brain will catch up to that :) this last tip was super super important, because the sleep anxiety was trying to tell me that I wouldn’t be able to enjoy my life at all ever again if I didn’t sleep. But it was wrong, and I sloooowly started to see that it was lying.
Now I rarely go more than a night at a time missing sleep, and it mainly happens when I get stressed about waking up earlier than usual, or an important event. And I understand where the anxiety comes from so I can gently head it off before I spiral into a true insomnia episode. And even if I do have a bad night - I know I’ll get through the next day, and sleep is coming for me soon. Just know that you can and will recover. I hope hearing my story and ideas helps you even a little bit!!
hi, thank you so so much for sending this. you have no idea how much it means. this hits me really hard because it sound so much exactly like what im going through. its so frustrating and annoying especially to me because im a bit of a perfectionist and control freak and when i cant get my brain and body to cooperate with what i want it makes me so angry and it just adds to the anxiousness. what u said about the sleep hygiene also makes so much sense. i always get so frustrated because its one of the first things i do, and even when the conditions are perfect and i still dont sleep i get so mad that i have to jump through all these hoops that the average person doesnt even have to think about and its still not helping. im also a bit of a pessimist when it comes to behavioral thinking patterns.. like for example i would never be a person who was likely to be able to be hypnotized because my brain just shuts down any suggestions or changes because its so rational that like if i try to change my mindset or do some self hypnosis or whatver another part of my brain quickly takes over and is like "of course this wont work on you because your just trying to trick yourself and this is what you REALLY think". but at the same time i have no control at all over my anxiety or thoughts and it just creates this situation thats such a paradox that it feels like theres no way out. its a vicious cycle where the more i cant sleep the more it takes up more and more of my energy and time. i really appreciate the way you worded this. its gonna take some time to make any of these changes, but i'll definitely try. it feels like my whole life revolves around sleeping and failing to do so (and i hate failing, which just makes everything worse) that if i could just reframe it so that it wasnt such an important, dominating part of my mind i think that would be extremely helpful. thank you so much again for taking the time to message me. its even just inspiring to hear someone in a situation so similar to myself was able to recover and make these changes. ♥️♥️♥️ i hope u have a great holiday season !
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dinosaurjam · 6 months ago
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Get in loser, we're doing this LJ survey style.
who is/are your comfort character(s)?: Peregrin Took (LOTR), Ponyboy Curtis (The Outsiders), Peeta Mellark (The Hunger Games), Chrissy Cunningham (Stranger Things s4)
lighter or matches?: Lighter in practicality, matches in actual preference for the Vibes and also the Aroma
do you leave the window open at night?: If the temperature is mild and it's safe to do so!
which cryptid being do you believe in?: I don't sincerely believe in any of them, but I like to playfully believe in all of them.
what color are your eyes?: Hazel
why did you do that?: I must obey the inscrutable exhortations of my soul.
hair-ties or scrunchies?: Hair ties
how many water bottles are in your room right now?: None in my room, just my reusable one in the living room.
which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee?: Hottttt
would you slaughter the rich?: No but I would forcibly redistribute their wealth
favorite extracurricular activity?: Going on walks, doing puzzles, baking
what kind of day is it?: It's niiiight but it was a warm cloudy day today.
when was the last time you ate?: Like an hour ago
do you love the smell of earth after it rains?: Y E S
are you a parent?: No
can you drive?: I used to but it's been so long I wouldn't trust myself behind the wheel anymore (also my license is expired lol)
are you farsighted or nearsighted?: Very nearsighted
what hair products do you use?: Rarely any--my hair is fine-textured and gets weighed down by product super easily. I use cornstarch as dry shampoo and occasionally use a light hold hairspray, and if I'm going to blow-dry or straighten my hair, I use a lightweight protectant spray
imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails?: Oh hell yeah
do you say soda or pop?: Soda. I grew up saying "pop" but deliberately changed it for aesthetic purposes.
something you’ve kept since childhood?: A few stuffed animals.
what type of person are you?: Girl what is this vague question
how do you feel about chilly weather?: I love itttt. Scarf & beanie weather is A+
if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing?: The best rooftop activity is long, meandering conversations.
perfume/body spray or lotion?: Lotion needs to be unscented. I do love perfume.
a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times?: The list is infinite tbh
about how many hours of sleep did you get?: Last night? Around seven I think
do you wear a mask?: In indoor shared spaces, yes
how do you like your shower water?: Hot and well-pressured
is there dishes in your room?: Nope
what type of music keeps you grounded?: Grounded would probably be folk music and like, Enya
do you have a favorite towel?: Yes! It's light blue and sufficiently thick & fluffy but doesn't take forever to air dry
the last adventure you’ve been on?: Went bike-riding downtown this past weekend
is there a song you know every word to by heart?: Many
what’s your timezone?: Eastern
how many times have you changed your url?: Never
someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years?: Yes! I am very fortunate to have a couple handfuls of friends I've known that long
a soap bar that smells good?: I usually like unscented soaps
do you use lip balm?: Constantly
did you have any snacks today?: Strawberries & dark chocolate
how do you take your coffee?: Hot, a little bit of nondairy milk
an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site?: Pinterest lolllll
what’s your take on spicy foods?: I like them but my tolerance is much lower than I wish it would be
you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it?: Honestly I probably wouldn't do it
can you remember what happened yesterday?: Wouldn't you like to know, weather boy
favorite holiday film?: Elf, Happiest Season, Halloween
what was the last message you sent?: "Okay we're signed up!!"
when did you first try an alcohol beverage?: When I was 20
can you skip rocks?: Sadly no, I never learned this whimsical arte
can i tag you in random stuff?: Sure idc
here’s weirder asks
who is/are your comfort character(s)?
lighter or matches?
do you leave the window open at night?
which cryptyd being do you believe in?
what color are your eyes?
why did you do that?
hair-ties or scrunchies?
how many water bottles are in your room right now?
which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee?
would you slaughter the rich?
favorite extracurricular activity?
what kind of day is it?
when was the last time you ate?
do you love the smell of earth after it rains?
are you a parent? (all answers qualify)
can you drive?
are you farsighted or nearsighted?
what hair products do you use?
imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails?
do you say soda or pop?
something you’ve kept since childhood?
what type of person are you?
how do you feel about chilly weather?
if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing?
perfume/body spray or lotion?
a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times?
about how many hours of sleep did you get?
do you wear a mask?
how do you like your shower water?
is there dishes in your room?
what type of music keeps you grounded?
do you have a favorite towel?
the last adventure you’ve been on?
is there a song you know every word to by heart?
what’s your timezone?
how many times have you changed your url?
someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years?
a soap bar that smells good?
do you use lip balm?
did you have any snacks today?
how do you take your coffee?
an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site?
what’s your take on spicy foods?
you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it?
can you remember what happened yesterday?
favorite holiday film?
what was the last message you sent?
when did you first try an alcohol beverage?
can you skip rocks?
can i tag you in random stuff?
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dragon-in-a-kettle · 3 years ago
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Studying Tips when you are easily distracted
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Pomodoro Technique, I can't stress it enough how helpful it is. There are many apps, and some allow to change the amount of time for breaks and work. Maybe you can't do 25, then do 15. Others need more time to get "in the zone" and can do 40 minutes.
During breaks, walk away from your desk/workspace. Don't go to far, look through a window, take a glass of water, go to the bathroom, or if you can go outside for a few seconds to take deep breaths of fresh air. The important thing is to mentally detach yourself from that task to reset your mind.
Change subjects. Don't spend four hours on the same topic, it gets way too boring. Divide your time between a subject you like and one that is harsher for you and viceversa.
One hour a day does 100% more for your productivity than five hours of cramming the night before.
Your brain won't function properly if sleep deprived. It doesn't matter how much you studied all night, more often than not you will fail from exhaustion. And no, caffeine doesn't do the trick, it will just give you more anxiety. It's like a rollercoaster of crap. Trust me, been there done that, it sucks.
Make a list of all the things you need to do in order of importance and urgency. Instead of a boring check mark, draw flowers or whatever you like and once completed you can color them.
Your head won't remember everything you have to do, take a small notebook with you everywhere and write down (right in that moment or you will forget), tasks, chores, homework, assignments, essays, etc.
You don't have to make your notes as perfect as the one from pinterest or studyblr (in my opinion that takes way too much time to do and is not that productive), but adding color, sticky notes or small drawings can make it much more pleasant to look at.
Eliminate from your desk/workspace all distractions, or as much as you can. Some of the pomodoro apps I mentioned before, they ring when time is up, it's automatic. So, you can put away your cellphone to not be tempted to scroll through social media.
If you have spent quite a few hours studying, take a long break (not in your bed). You should move to stimulate blood circulation. You could listen your favorite music and dance while eating a snack. Or maybe water your plants, do your prayers if you're religious, anything that isn't related to study. Your mind will thank you.
Know when to stop, it's unhealthy if you overdo it. Melatonin, sleep hormone, usually starts production around 9 o'clock (my psychiatrist told me this) and between 10 and 12 is the moment when your body rest the best.
Also, Melatonin can be affected by blue light emitted from screens. If you can try to avoid them for at least two hours before going to sleep. So that you can regain a normal sleep schedule. This will also improve your mood and eventually your concentration.
There are apps (at least for Android, don't know for Apple) that can block the usage of other apps. It's very helpful and until now it has given me great results.
Make sure to take time to practice your hobbies, hangout with friends, spend time with your family or walk your pet. Your entire life can't be about studying and grades. If you don't enjoy the process of going to highschool/college, you will end up hating it. Even if it's just for 15 minutes. Allow yourself to not be productive. You are not a machine. It's okay to relax from time to time. Your mental health is more important. Even at the cost of success.
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outofsstyles · 4 years ago
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WILDEST DREAMS
a/n: soo I’ve been working on this for a little while now and I’m very excited to share it with you al!! This piece is inspired by Taylor Swift’s music video for her song Wildest Dreams. If you’ve never seen the video, or don’t remember it really well, I recommend you watch it *after* reading the story so you don’t get it spoiled! If you’re interested then you can watch it by clicking *right here!!*
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Word count:  17.2k                     Rated: M, mature           
You agree to help your friend on her film project and Harry is playing your love interest.
“You’ve been frowning a lot and haven’t said a single word in the past five minutes, what’s wrong?” You looked up to your quiet roommate sitting opposite to where you stood near the kitchen counter. 
A playlist you both had made months ago, meant only for cooking days, as Nia had instructed, played faintly in the background. You hummed along to the melody of a song you didn’t really know the name of, but had listened to it enough to mumble the lyrics, as you focused on cutting banana slices.
Nia was the one who brought up trying out a new fruit smoothie recipe she had found while scrolling around on Pinterest. She was pretty excited after coming home with the groceries, ready to start the process. Which is why seeing her sitting quietly as she glared at her phone was a big sign that something was wrong.
“I think Jordan is about to pull out on us,” she groaned loudly, locking her phone and throwing it on the counter, running her hands on her face, “I can’t believe this is happening a week before filming starts.”
“Oh, that’s not good news” you said, looking back at your friend’s defeated state in front of you as you threw the banana slices into the blender. “What happened?”
“He said he decided to go with his cousin to Ibiza.” Her arms muffled her voice as she lied on top of them, sighing once again, “this is the third one that leaves, I might as well just cancel the entire thing and fail this class.”
You rolled your eyes lightly at her, shaking your head as you listened to her dramatic reactions. Being her friend for as long as you have, you knew how stressed Nia got with a project, specially something she was passionate about. She was always too hard on herself, trying to push everything to be as perfect as possible, which is a good thing when you focused on the ultimate results. But she often tended to over-stress herself, and that’s what makes you worry.
With this one in particular, you could tell how excited she was from the day her teacher assigned it. She came back home and rambled for hours on end about making her first film. Which is why when she begged you to be part of it, and you couldn’t find it in your heart to say no. 
It was a small production after all, it just being Nia and her partner Evan, whom you have known had gotten close to her in the past months. She assured it would a rather simple concept, with only two characters. The trickiest part being the fact that they would film it out of town, in a camp house that belonged to Nia’s aunt. You had agreed to it to make her happy, and with her promise of buying you chocolate muffins. Most uni students, however, didn’t seem as keen to sacrifice a week of their spring break as you were.
“You’re being dramatic Nia,” you reassured, turning on the blender and cringing at the loud noise that took over the place. “Maybe they just read on the script that they would have to kiss me a couple of times and got too nervous about it,” you tried to humor, raising your voice a bit before turning the processor off. Nia looked back at you with a serious expression, making you scoff, “calm down, grumpy pants, I’m sure Evan knows someone who can do the role, stop worrying.”
“All I do is worry, you know that,” she sighed, standing up to walk towards the cabinets behind you. She selected two matching cups that she had gotten for your birthday, one had Elsa printed on it, and the other Anna. You smiled as she placed them on the counter, knowing you always thought matching friendship objects were silly, but Nia loved it, so you loved it too. She looked vaguely at the blender, letting her shoulder weight down.   “At least we have a banana smoothie.”
“And something else!” You said, jumping on your feet to get to the fridge and retrieved a tupperware. You held it in her direction and smiled, “leftover spaghetti from Joe’s!” you exclaimed, attempting to brighten her mood. She looked back at you, grabbing the container from your hands, as she tried to fight back a smile.
“Yes,  how could I forget the leftover spaghetti?”
**
As the days passed by, the both of you had gotten more stressed out. Nia was still worried about everything related to her film project. With the days passing by and no one to fill the other role on the script, she found herself on a daily cycle of stress breakdowns. 
Just two days after your former cast partner dropped out on the project to spend his week on the busy beaches of Ibiza, she had bought three different boxes of hair dyes. And as you helped her turn her hair into a light shade of pink, she cried about how everything seemed to go wrong in her life.
Meanwhile, you had been struggling to fight your procrastination tendencies and try to finish as much work as possible before spring break. A task that was showing itself to be extremely difficult, considering your mind seemed more focused on binge watching true crime shows on YouTube. 
The blank document stared back at you from your computer screen, as you wished that if you looked at it for long enough, the essay would somehow write itself. Writing a couple of words but soon deleting them and going back to an empty page, you signed. Why was it so difficult to introduce a topic? You took a sip of the hot drink on the sparkly Cinderella mug you had chosen for the day, another one of Nia’s Disney-related possessions. 
You frowned at the blank document, your failure to write a single paragraph still open in front of you. You heard a light knock on your bedroom door, but before you could even say anything, you spotted the already fading pink hair coming into the room. 
Nia walked in jumping excitedly, saying your name in little squeals and almost tripping down as she made her way to sit on your bed in front of you. Breathing out, she looked at you with a big smile and messy hair before blurting out.
“We’ve got you a husband!” you stared back at her, arching your eyebrows. You knew she was referring to the role on the film, but you still laughed off at her choice of phrasing. “Evan got someone, it’s like his old friend or something, said he trusts him not to drop out.”
“Well, fourth time’s a charm, I guess?” you smiled at her. 
“We’re planning a pizza night this Friday, so we can, you know, set the details and all that.” She properly lied down next to you, playing with the strings on the hem of your pajama shorts. “Also so you two can meet each other, of course, you’re going to be married for a week after all.”
“The way you say it seems like we’re actually doing it,”  You laughed, finally closing your computer, and moving down to face her. “We’re just playing characters, Nia.”
“I know, I know… You’re really no fun, aren’t you?” She moved her arm up to support her head and poked you with her free hand as you rolled your eyes at her. “Also, he seems pretty cute, Evan showed me his picture, maybe you two can hit off.”
“I’m sure he is,” you tried not to fall for her attempt on teasing you over someone you don’t even know. Sure, you’ll be playing love interests, but you’ve done this plenty of times before, back on your theatre days. Kissing someone on stage doesn’t mean you have feelings for them in real life, and you knew that pretty well. You sighed, looking down at her, not wanting to engage into this kind of topic.
“Anyway, should we celebrate your new cast member and my inability to write a single sentence about art history?” you changed the subject, trying to distract yourself from your own thoughts. “We could watch Devil Wears Prada and make caramel popcorn.”
Nia gasped dramatically, “these are the most beautiful words I’ve ever heard coming from those pretty lips of yours,”  jumping to her feet as she pulled you to stand with her. She then ran out of the room, screaming back, “I’ll get the blankets and you start with the popcorn!”
It’s been years since you’ve known Nia, but yet the dynamic between the two of you has never really changed. You’ve always considered yourself very lucky for having a friend like her in your life. From the day you met her in your English class, it was like seeing someone you had already known your entire life; it was always that easy to be with her. 
You two became inseparable from day one.
Looking back, it’s crazy for you to realize how well your high school plans with each other had turned out. Most people you know had those friends in school they only really talked to because they saw them five times a week. But as soon as graduation came by they parted their ways and became only good nostalgic memories for one another. With the two of you, everything just worked out. 
You both got into the university you wanted, ready to get matching art degrees. On your second year of college, you moved in together. And halfway through the course, Nia just dropped out to enroll on an eighteen months film school. And that’s when she met Nate. 
You always knew she was destined to be that kind of person who just has one great love in her life. Which was funny considering that anyone who spent over five minutes with her and Nate in the same room could swear they would never work together. They just were those kinds of couples who are the polar opposite of each other. 
Nia was a little social butterfly, who could start a conversation with anyone about anything. She could talk for hours with the old ladies at the grocery store about how the new brands of beans are just not as good as the ones not as well known. Or chat with the yoga moms about a new reality show that had premiered on Netflix. She loved experimenting on new things, trying out new recipes or mix distinct colors together on her clothes.
Nate, on the other hand, just wasn’t much of a talker at all. Since the start of their relationship, he often stops by at your apartment -wearing a different shade of grey every time - but it would be a lot to say that you two have had a conversation for longer than five minutes. He just mostly kept it to himself. 
They balanced each other, which is why they worked so well.
It would be a lie for you to say you didn’t think about having something like that for you. You thought maybe you just weren’t the kind of person to have one meaningful relationship in your life. And that was okay. You’d like to think you’re better off on your own, anyway. But now and then you wondered how it would be to fall asleep in someone’s arms every day.
But you tried your best to keep those thoughts locked away in the back of your head. You knew that for the most part love is not really meant to last, Nia was just part of the lucky few.
**
The atmosphere in your shared apartment was cozy, as you waited for Evan and his friend to arrive before you started the pizza hangout, as Nia called it. 
You both had spent the day tidying up the place, trying to decorate it a bit with some fairy lights and nice pillows you found in your room. It had been a long time since you had done any kind of social gathering in your home, and Nia wanted everything to be perfect. She even insisted on making the pizzas herself, which took most part of the afternoon, and a lot of bossing around on her part. 
By the time the food was in the oven and the only thing left to do was wait, her boyfriend joined the two of you. 
She was very talkative and bubbly, as she usually is, getting the wine bottles she selected for the evening and placing them on the counter as she chatted with him. It was nice seeing her back do being her usual self after such a stressful week. 
You got the right amount of glasses, placing them next to the bottles, as you hummed along to the Declan Mckenna’s voice playing in the background. You weren’t really paying attention to Nia’s babbles, catching a word or two as she rambled about some dolphin documentary she had to watch for one of her classes. Pouring out a glass for yourself, you looked over to Nate who had a puzzled look on his face, as he tried to make sense of whatever rant his girlfriend had going on. You took a sip of your wine, and laughed lightly at yourself at the contrast between the two of them, something you had always found very amusing to observe. But before you could go further into your thoughts, the sound of the buzzer took over the small apartment.
“They’re here!” Nia gushed, as she quickly made her way out of the kitchen to get the front door, yelling back at you to get the pizzas out of the oven.
“Yes, ma’am,” you teased after she left, earning a light chuckle from Nate. 
Making your way around the kitchen, you took out kitchen gloves that had figures of little chicks printed on them, giving one last check inside the oven to make sure everything was ready, before opening it and taking out the food. You could hear Nia greeting Evan excitedly in the background, as she rushed him and his friend to come inside. As their voices got closer, you turned your back to the entrance, concentrating on not burning yourself while you placed both pizzas on top of the counter.
“There’s our star!” You heard Evan’s loud voice taking over the kitchen space, making you look over your shoulder and laugh at him. 
You turned around while taking off the gloves, as he pulled you into a tight hug, the strong scent of his cologne invading your nostrils. He wasn’t much taller than you, making him being considered short for a man. But his presence in a room was always so loud and bright that he seem much bigger than he actually is. You pulled back and looked at him, suddenly feeling underdressed in your own home. His entire outfit was bright red, being consisted of a jean jacket and silk pants, his eyes matching with vibrant eyeshadow taking over his whole eyelids.
“It’s very nice to see you again Evan,”  you smiled at him, his hands still holding onto your shoulders as he looked warmly at you. “It’s been too long! You look fabulous!”
“Oh honey, you flatter me too much! It’s why I love coming here,” he scoffed playfully, coming to your side and wrapping one arm over your shoulder as he guided you. “But tonight is not about me, unfortunately. It’s about the two of you.”
As you finally moved your attention to the kitchen entrance, you realized another presence standing there. A man, who you assumed was Evan’s friend, already smirking down at you as both of you approached him. 
You suddenly felt nervous under his stare while you could hear Evan commenting on something you didn’t really pay attention to. You had been taken completely by surprise by the man standing in front of you. Sure, Nia had mentioned to you once or twice that he was good looking, but you were not expecting this. 
It was a weird feeling, being this affected by someone you had just met, but you would have to be blind not to notice. His face was beautiful, a sharp jawline contrasting his soft skin, his fingers poked at his bottom lip as he smirked, you could notice the hint of a dimple forming on his cheek. His hair was short, but still long enough to see the shape of slight curls forming in it, some locks falling charmingly against his forehead. But what hit you the most were his eyes, thanks to the dim lighting you couldn’t really tell if they were a shade of forest green or more of a hazel tone, but you could feel your cheeks warming up from the way he watched you as you got closer.
His shoulders were broad, as he was leaning against the entrance, the hand that wasn’t poking at his lip resting inside the pocket of his brown pair of trousers. He wore a blank white shirt, partly tucked in, underneath a beige cardigan. The sleeves had been rolled up to his elbows, making you notice the tattoos hugging the skin of his arms. You felt a curious wish to know how many more you could find under all the layers of clothing..
As you and Evan got closer, he moved from his leaning position to stand tall in front of you. The smile never leaving his lips, and his eyes still watching you closely.
“So, darling, meet Harry,” Evan spoke up, gesturing you towards his friend. “He’s a pest, but I’m sure you’ll get along just fine”
“Way to give a first impression, E,” Harry rolled his eyes at his friend’s teasing, before turning his attention back to you. He moved closer, embracing you into a side hug “S lovely to meet you-”
You quickly cleared your throat, afraid that your voice would give you away, before saying your name. The attempt didn’t really seem to work, as your words came out higher than you had intended. You could feel Nia’s gaze turning to you on the corner of your eye, but tried your best to ignore it. He repeated it, before shooting a smile in your direction, the sound of his deep voice and the way his lips circled around the words making the hairs behind your neck rise.
“Okay! So how about we move this party to the living room?” Nia’s voice broke into the atmosphere. “Everyone can get their wine glasses and make themselves comfortable while y/n and I finish arranging the pizzas.”
She shot you a knowing look, before moving to get the wine bottles and handing them to Nate. Everyone shifted to get their glasses and settle in the other room, leaving you and Nia alone. 
You moved to get the knives and looked at the pizzas standing on the counter in front of you, calculating how you could cut out even slices on each. You could see your friend from the corner of your eye leaning on the counter staring directly at you.
“You know you can’t fool me even for a second, miss,” she teased, you could hear the smirk on her voice.
“I’m not doing anything,” you murmured, still not looking in her direction. She scoffed, elbowing you lightly as she mimicked you, saying your name in a high-pitched voice. You shot her a dirty look before shushing her, afraid the guest in the other room could hear her teasing. “I didn’t sound like that!”
“Oh please! You should have seen how you looked at him!” She rolled her eyes at you, “thought you were gonna drop down on your knees right then and there!”
“Nia!” you screamed in a whisper, your cheeks warming up at her words as you pinched her, making her squeal. You quickly shot a look at the entrance to see if anyone might’ve heard her, but they seemed to be enrolled in their own conversation. “Let’s just get this done quickly before they suspect we’re in here for too long.”
“Okay, cheeky girl,” she bit her lip and moved to get a knife to cut one pizza, but still eyeing you with a slight smile, leaning in one last time, “but I told you he was cute.”
Eventually, the two of you finished sorting out the pizza slices and joined everyone in the living room. Nia then rushed to join her boyfriend on the loveseat, leaving the only spot available for you being between Harry and Evan on the couch. She shot you a teasing smile, but you tried your best to ignore it and focus on finishing the wine glass you had poured for yourself earlier.
“Okay, so I’m going to need everyone to eat the food and tell me how good it is,” Nia pointed out to the center table where the  pieces of pizza laid upon, “I’ve spent the entire afternoon on these babies, so eat up!”
“You know that I’ve helped you with them, right?” you added, squinting your eyes at her, “some credit wouldn’t hurt.”
“You only laid the toppings on the dough so they would look even,” she snapped back pointing a finger at you, “I did all the hard work, so shush it.”
But before anyone could move to get a slice, Evan was already stretching out his arms to stop you from moving. “Wait a second,” he spoke, “I feel like I’ve watched enough seasons of MasterChef to be the first one to judge.”
“I mean, you are the best critic I know,” Nia pointed, leaning in to get a slice and offering to Evan, “but again, I don’t really know any other critics.” She humored as he took the food, making a show of analyzing it.
Everyone waited expectantly as Evan bit into the pizza slice, keeping a straight face that didn’t reveal much of his opinions. Nia leaned in his direction, nervously biting her bottom lip as she waited for his final verdict.
“You have to be honest,” she warned, observing him, “but know that I can get my feelings hurt pretty easily.”
“I don’t mind that,” Evan finally said, straightening his posture as he looked back to Nia’s waiting eyes, “I’ll say that it’s not the best pizza I’ve ever had,” he announced, “but it works.”
“You know what, I take it,” everyone laughed lightly as Nia visibly released a breath she had been holding in, “It’s not a bad review for a first time.”
The hours went by quickly as you eased into a conversation with everyone. It was nights like this you missed the most when the stress of all the accumulative work weighted on your shoulders. Having a more of a cool night to hangout with a few friends, drinking some wine and chatting about whatever topic came to mind.
As time passed, you could tell Nia and Evan got more agitated, probably due to the amount of wine they had consumed without even realizing. They chatted excitingly about Midsommar, their voices raising a bit too loud. But every time you tried to shush them, jokingly reminding of the neighbors next door, they would soon forget about it again.  You watched them babble, giggling when they would get excited on a certain topic and start to trip over a few words. 
You also felt lighter because of the alcohol, not as much as them, but still enough so you could feel your chest warmer and your mind a bit dizzy. You still felt an annoying tingle at the pit of your stomach when you felt Harry’s eyes fixating on you when you spoke, or when your hands brushed as you reached for the bottle at the center table. It was silly, and it made you feel like a teenager being in the presence of an attractive boy for the first time.
When it all quiet down eventually, Nia had dragged Evan to her room so he could give an insight on how she could decorate it. It was something she would do now and then, give her room a big renovation so the change in the space could make her more motivated, or something like that. Sometimes, if she felt inspired enough, she would change around the living area or  even your own room - when you allowed her, of course. 
Nate was still sitting on the loveseat looking like he was about to fall asleep at any moment as he scrolled through his phone. He hadn’t spoken a lot during the night, which wasn’t unusual for him, but he still managed to chat for a bit. 
That left you and Harry alone sitting on the main couch, with one person less it left you enough space to cross your legs, making yourself more comfortable. He was sitting on his side, his back resting on the big pillows by the arm of the couch, his chest turned towards you.
You reached for the wine bottle at the center table, realizing there was just a bit left, enough for a last glass for the two of you. “Wanna help me finish it?”  You turned to him with the bottle in your hand. He had a smile resting on his lips, as he raised his glass toward you so you could pour the liquid into it. You could tell his eyes were a bit cloudy, but you knew none of you had had enough to be drunk.
“Thank you, love,” he said, the raspiness on his voice as he spoke the pet name making the hairs in the back of your neck rise. You poured yourself the rest of the wine left, emptying the bottle as you settled it back where you got it. “Should we make a toast?” 
“Sure,” you replied easily, smiling at him, “what should we toast for?”
He looked away, puckering his lips slightly as he made a puzzled expression, a hand scratching at his chin as if in deep thought. You giggled at his dramatics before he pointed his finger up, his face turning into a big smile. He raised his glass in your direction, as you did the same. “A toast for being husband and wife?”
You chuckled, clinking your glasses together, “that’s fair,” you said, “ ‘s why we’re here after all, isn’t it?” you joked, taking a sip of your drink before settling it down on your lap.
“Sure is,” he mimicked, rising his glass to his lips, a smirk still adorning them as he managed to not break eye contact. He took a small sip before settling his glass back on the table.  He scratched the tip of his nose slightly with the side of his finger, before he relaxed back on the couch. “So” he spoke up, bringing your attention to him, “E told me you’re an actual actress,” he raised his eyebrows at you, “made me a bit nervous, love.”
“That right there is a lie,” you chuckled, biting your lip and shaking your head. “I used to do theatre back in the day, haven’t done any acting for years though.”
“A theatre kid, huh?” He laughed as you rolled your eyes jokingly.
“I’m aware we have a poor reputation, yes,” you said,  “I reckon we deserve it, but we weren’t that bad, I promise.”
He giggled, making your heart skip a beat at the sound. His smile was something you could easily get used to, the way it formed crinkles in his eyes and the dimples deep on his cheeks. You had to stop yourself for staring too much, moving your gaze to the glass on your lap.
“People are too harsh on theatre kids,” he reassured, “I think it seems pretty fun — only time I did it was when I played Elvis when I was about five, I think.” He added, resting his arm against the couch, his hand just a few inches away from your shoulders. “Had the time o’my life though.”
“You got main character though, that’s impressive,” you expressed, raising a hand to poke at his side playfully. “Have you done anything since your big debut as the king?”
“Can’t say I have, no,” he chuckled, “guess this is my big comeback, maybe I’ll get a call from broadway soon.”
“I’m sure you will!” You giggled, taking another sip from the glass in your hand.
You found it easy to dive into a conversation with him. You were both giggly from the wine, but it still seemed like you could stay like this for hours on end,  just talking to each other. 
He told you he wasn’t planning on doing the film, considering he never really thought about acting. But when Evan asked him if he could be part of it, he saw how desperate he was to fill the role, so he agreed. It warmed your heart to hear how fondly he spoke about his friend, telling you how willing he was to help, even if it involved doing something out of his comfort zone.
You two bounded over your mutual wish to become teachers. You found out he was studying Literature, a choice that for him as an easy one, considering throughout his life he had always been an avid reader. He said no matter how harsh thing got, he always found an escape between books, you could tell how passionate he was about it as he spoke about his favorite reads.
Eventually, you could hear voices coming closer from Nia’s room, as they seemed to be gushing about the filming that was starting soon. 
As Evan came into the room, he made his way to the couch, placing his hand on Harry’s shoulders. “Honey, as much as I wish we could stay here ‘til dawn, I’m afraid we must get going.”
With his declaration, everyone moved around to gather the dishes splattered across the center table to put it all at the kitchen counter. After some insisting -mostly on Harry’s part- on helping with cleaning, you convinced them you two could handle the task just fine. And they were the guests, after all.
Finally, you said your goodbyes, pulling Evan on a small hug, assuring him you’d do your best to do his script justice.
And as you came to face Harry, he leaned into a hug, giving you a last kiss on the cheek, before telling you how lovely it had been to meet you.
**
You had woken up with your door opening abruptly, making you jump a bit from the sudden change in the peaceful atmosphere from your deep slumber. Before you could process the situation in hand, Nia was already pulling out the covers and spitting out words at a faster pace than you could comprehend in your mind state.
“Get up already! We are very late,” She urged as you lazily scratched at your eyes before sitting up to look at her. “Evan is going to kill us!” She cried out.
Your head pounded slightly, making you search for your water bottle previously prompted by yourself the night before, knowing you would need it in the morning. You reached for it in your nightstand, taking big gulps as you watched amusingly Nia run around your room picking random clothes and throwing it in a duffel bag you had just noticed.
Resting the bottle down on your lap, you yawned lightly, still in the process of waking up. “Calm down Ni,” you mumbled, “We still have time, we’re only leaving at like, two.”
She looked back at you as if you had just slapped her across the face, your shirt falling partly from her hand. “It’s already one,” she informed, making your eyes bulge as you reached to check on your phone, confirming as it read 1:16pm. “We don’t even have our bags packed AND we got a sink full of dishes to wash.”
The minutes after that were rushed, as you two did your best to get ready as fast as possible. Mentally slapping yourself for leaving everything for the last minute, but still managing to pack your bag in record speed.
But as time passed and the list of things to do was still far from over, Nia phoned Evan and let him know you would need a few more hours to be ready to leave. To say he wasn’t the happiest about the news was an understanding, but there wasn’t much he could do about it.
A couple hours later you were finally packed, and after a quick stop to shop for road trip snacks you were off on the road. 
You left much later than planned, and even if it wasn’t that much of a long drive, it was still 3 hours until you got there. The ride itself was mostly quiet, except from Lorde’s Melodrama playing softly in the background. You hummed along to the words, but apart from that there wasn’t a lot of talking between the two of you, all due to the limited amount of sleep you got from the previous night.
As you got closer, the scenery of open grass camps and blooming flowers at the peak of spring was a peaceful change of scene from the busy city streets you were used to. And when you finally got to the house, the sun was almost setting on the horizon. The sky being a satisfying mixture of blue and orange. There was a car already parked in, and as you got closer, you could see two figures sitting on the front stairs. 
Getting out of the car, you quickly made your way to where they stood. “Have you been waiting long?” Nia asked as you got closer to them. 
“Longer than I was planning to, I’ll say that,” Evan replied, taking off his sunglasses to greet you.
Harry came up from behind him, looking incredibly cozy wearing a knitted cream sweater. It took everything in you not to nuzzle on him as he met you with a quick embrace. You had to focus on keeping your breathing steady as you looked up at him when you parted. The sun coming from behind you doing wonders as it hit his face perfectly. His eyes were the prettiest shade of green as he smiled down at you before moving to greet  Nia.
“We’ve been here fo’ ten minutes, don’t listen to him,” he assured with a small laugh.
The house itself was much bigger than you expected, it wasn’t huge, by any means, but you had pictured a small cottage with barely any space for the four of you. The place, however, was big enough for you to have your privacy but still small enough to feel cozy and welcoming. 
You quickly found there were three rooms, and despite you arguing you didn’t mind sharing one with Nia, considering you two lived together, she still insisted that you and Harry had your own bedrooms. It was her way of thanking you for agreeing to help them.
After you got established in your respective room, you met everyone down at the kitchen. The place was loud with chatter as they played around while making dinner. Nia seemed to boss the boys around to cut the vegetables properly, as she concentrated on figuring out how to work the old stove. They laughed lightly as she cussed under her breath in frustration after another failed attempt. You watched quietly for a moment, before joining in to help her.
You finally turned the stove on with the help of a few matches you found laying on the counter, being able to cook with no more trouble. It was already getting late when you finished eating and gathered the dishes to lay them on the sink. Still, Nia insisted on watching one of the movies she had carefully selected on her extended collections of DvDs to bring with her. 
You decided to make yourself some tea while the rest of them moved around to arrange themselves for the movie night. After offering if anyone else wanted a cup as well, you were met with Harry’s warm smile as he accepted shyly.
Soon enough everyone settled down on the big couch to watch the movie. Evan took his place on one of the armchairs, while Harry opted to sit by the end of the couch, setting his legs on the footrest in front of him. As you walked in with your mugs, he gazed up at you, shooting a soft smile and muttering a quick ‘thank you’ as you handed him his drink.
He patted the spot next to him, indicating for you to sit, to which you happily obliged. 
“Wanna share?” he asked, holding up a blanket that lied at the arm of the couch. “There’s jus’ three of ‘em.”
“Sure,” you replied, moving to pull the blanket, so it was covering the two of you. You knew very well you could always get an extra one from one of the bedrooms, but you would never bring yourself to suggest it.
Finally, Nia entered the room with a small pack of m&m’s on one of her hands and the DvD case for ‘Love Actually’ on the other. She was quick to insert it on the player before settling down next to you. Pulling out the leftover blanket for herself, she lied down to rest her head comfortably on top of your legs.
It didn’t take long until she fell in deep slumber, cuddling up on your lap as soft snores left her lips. You pouted slightly down at her. The poor thing was exhausted from driving all the way, and the bad night of sleep the day before.
As the movie progressed, you could feel your eyelids getting heavier as well, the words coming from Keira Knightley’s mouth becoming more of a background noise as you fought to keep yourself awake. But before you could doze off, you felt Harry shifting slightly next to you. Suddenly feeling his arm hugging your shoulders, as he gently pulled you closer.
You moved your head to look at him but before you could say anything he shushed you softly and pulled you back in. “ ‘S fine, love,” he whispered, “can see that you’re tired.”
And with a half-woken mind and heavy eyelids you laid back on his shoulder and allowed yourself to snooze.
You woke up with him shifting again from under you, opening your eyes slowly to find the end credits rolling up the screen in front of you. You yawned lightly before sitting up, being careful not to wake a still-very-much-asleep Nia on your lap.
“Sorry,” you heard Harry say as you scratched at your eyes, “didn’t mean to wake you.”
“It’s fine,” you assured, your voice a bit raspy from your nap, “would have to happen, eventually.” You looked down at the unconscious girl lying on you, knowing you had to get her to bed so she could sleep properly. “We should wake her.”
“Want me to carry her to her room?” he asked.
“I think she’ll be okay,” you replied, gently calling her name so she could slowly wake up.
Surely, it didn’t take a lot of coaxing to get her eyelid to flutter open, as she lazily rose from her sleep.
You helped her to her room, afraid she’d trip down the stair in her hazy state of mind, still half asleep as she dragged her feet across the floor. 
As soon as she laid down in her bed, you made your way back to the kitchen to fix yourself a glass of water so you could go to sleep. 
It surprised you to find Harry still awake as you entered the space; he looked up at you from his position leaning on the counter with his phone in his hand. Quickly placing it in his back pocket as he saw you coming in, giving you a slight smile. “Thought you’d gone to bed.”
You reached for the cabinet Nia had pointed you to earlier where the cups were placed, picking one with little thought and closing it. “Just came here for a glass of water,” you spoke, moving the cup under the tap, “always have one next to my bed, y’know, in case I get thirsty and stuff.” You shook your head slightly, not wanting to ramble about the benefits of staying hydrated during the night just to make a conversation.
“Smart girl,” he joked, causing you to chuckle as you felt blush creeping out on your cheeks. You could see him coming closer to stand next to you from the corner of your eye, which didn’t help the tingly feeling forming at the pit of your stomach. “Excited fo’ tomorrow?” he asked, crossing his arms on top of the counter as he leaned next to you.
“Guess I am,” you answered, looking up at him and finding he was closer than you had realized. You smiled nervously as you met his eyes gazing down at you, before clearing your throat lightly. “What about you?”
“To be honest ‘m a bit nervous, love,” he confessed.
“Why’s that?” 
“I mean,” he started, his eyes still fixed on you, “ ‘s not every day I get to pretend ‘m married to a pretty girl like you.”
You could feel your heart skip a beat as he reached one of his hands to move a strand of your hair behind your ear. He kept his hand on your cheek just as his eyes seemed to gaze down at your lips, so subtly that it felt like you might’ve imagined it. 
The silence in the room was loud as you could almost hear your heartbeat pounding in your ears, as he leaned down just barely, getting closer to you. He looked down one more time at your lips, this time making sure you realized the unspoken question behind that action. You suddenly felt water pouring through your fingers, as the forgotten cup in your hand overflowed. This caused you to jump back a bit, quickly turning the tap off and resting the glass on the counter. 
“Oh my god,” you squeak, reaching out for a towel right next to the sink to dry your hand. “I’m sorry, that was-” you chuckled, glancing at Harry who seemed to watch you with an amused expression. “That was awkward, sorry.”
“No need to apologize,” He assured, picking the full glass and moving it in the counter so it was out of your reach. “ ‘t was actually quite cute,” he moved closer to you again, reaching his hand to hold at your jawline. 
You held back your breath as you felt his own hitting the top of your upper lip, your noses brushing slightly. 
“Been wanting to do this fo’ a bit now, love,” he spoke a bit above a whisper, his deep voice sending chills down your spine and making you grab at his sweater, ”would you let me?” his thumb caressed your cheek lovingly, “would you let me kiss you?”
You could feel your heart beating strongly against your rib cages, swallowing hard as you looked up at him. He was watching you closely, his dark emerald irises gazing down at you as your lips barely brushed. You nodded at him, trying to pull him closer.
“Use your words, darling,” he insisted, not budging from his position. “Wanna hear you say it.”
“Please, Harry I-” you moved your hand to grasp on his waist, “just —kiss me.”
Giving a satisfied hum, he finally leaned down, closing the space between the two of you. His hand remained stroking your cheek softly, as the other sneaked under your neck.
He moved his lips ever so slightly, his cupid bow founding its way above your inner lip, sucking on it gently. The kiss was teasingly slow, making you hyper aware of all of your senses. Your hands feeling the soft fabric of his sweater, grabbing at it as if asking for more. 
He moved the hand on your neck, pulling gently at your hair, making you angle your head up a bit. As his tongue poked to lick at your bottom lip, you opened your mouth, deepening the kiss.
You stayed like this for a while, pressed against the kitchen wall as you enjoyed the taste of each other. 
When you pulled back, he splattered a few kisses along your cheek, giving one last peck on your mouth before pulling back.
“As much as I don’t want to end this now,” he muttered, moving his hand, so they were both holding your cheeks, “We should get some sleep fo’ tomorrow.” 
“We should,” you agreed.
“We’ll get the chance to do this again,” he said, making you bite down a smile at the innuendo behind his words.
He gave you one last kiss before pulling away completely, reaching for the glass of water you had already forgotten about on the counter and handing it to you. 
You walked back to your rooms without saying a word, but still sharing glances and smiles along the way. And as you got to your respective rooms, you whispered quiet good nights before parting ways and closing the door behind you.
**
The days that followed were rushed, considering the filming had officially started. You two barely had the chance to be alone again, which was disappointing. But still you couldn’t find yourself time to miss the feel of having his soft lips against yours, considering the scenes you had with each other. What you did miss was being able to kiss him without it being written in a piece of paper, or having someone from outside tell you to. You missed the intimacy of feeling his tongue meet your own and having his hands pulling you close as you both craved for more. You missed the shared secret between just the two of you, that was knowing how it felt to have him all to yourself.
It was discomforting, earning for someone you barely even know. Jumping into a feeling you know there’s no way can end well. You both were playing characters. Lovers, yes, but it was all pretend. It didn’t help that he was so good at it. In front of the cameras he would be so loving that you often wondered how much of it was just part of the act. 
It was subtle things that made you think of it, like a glance across the room between takes. Him leaning close to you every time they called you to watch back something you had just recorded. Or when he sucked in your lip during a scene, so softly you could barely notice but still made your heart skip a beat.
But as much as it was nice to pretend that you two had some shared secret, you knew that the most likely scenario was that he was just doing his work and being friendly. So you tried your best to convince yourself that all of it was just your mind playing tricks, this way you could prevent yourself from inevitably getting hurt. That encounter in the kitchen was most likely his way of making things less awkward to when you inevitably would have to do it in front of a camera. That was it, nothing more. 
It seemed to have worked pretty well, you two had the chemistry Evan hoped for when he wrote his script. Nia kept teasing you with every given opportunity. You didn’t tell her about the late night kitchen situation, but you knew she could sense the ‘chemistry’ was not simply because you two were just that good at acting. No one was complaining though, considering everything was going so smoothly they suspected it could be wrapped up even earlier than expected.
Every time they would mention the possibility, you found yourself wishing deep down something would set you back on the schedule. You felt bad for it, and you never voice your inner thoughts, but you knew wrapping up early meant going home early, and you were getting a bit too comfortable getting to act all loved up on camera.
As if some kind of outer force had listened to your wishes, just as you were halfway throughout the week, mother nature seemed to be your biggest ally.
You had just woken up with the annoying tune of your alarm clock, one you had chosen for finding it soothing at first. But you soon found that those sounds are not meant to feel soothing at all, as it woke you from your deep slumber. You were quick to turn it off before rubbing your eyes softly and enjoying the warmth of your bed for a few more minutes. You could hear the gentle sounds of raindrops hitting your window, but barely paid any attention to it as you rose lazily, stretching your arms above your head.
Making your way down the stairs you first noticed Evan standing by the big window in the living room, looking out with a hand resting on his hip and the other one holding a mug. Behind him, in one of the armchairs, sat Harry, also drinking out of a mug as he read a book quietly. But as if he felt your presence as you got to the bottom of the staircase, he looked up, smiling at you as you made your way into the room.
“G’morning,” he spoke, alerting the man by the window of your presence as he turned around to look at you.
“Good morning,” you said back, before realizing the worried expression on Evan’s face, “is everything okay?”
“A disaster just happened, honey, look out the windows!”  he snapped, gesturing behind him where you could see the rain hitting the glass. The sky was dark with clouds, suggesting it was just the beginning of the storm that was to come. You looked back with a puzzled expression, knowing the weather was not the best, but as far as you remembered you had already shot all the scenes you needed outside. Evan rolled his eyes, “our natural light is gone, honey, it’s too dark to shoot!” he barked.
“Hey, no need to yell at her like tha’,” Harry looked back at his friend, attempting to calm him down, “ ‘s fine, we were early on schedule anyway, one day is not gonna delay it.”
He shot a look at Harry, his hand finding its way back on his waist as he let out a deep breath. “I’m sorry, this is just incredibly frustrating.”
You smiled at him to assure it was fine, knowing how much stress he was putting on because of this project. “Doesn’t Nia have one of those light things you were using the other day to make the scene brighter?” You suggested.
Evan sighed, “that’s a reflector, it just— well, reflects the light, we would need the sun for it to work, and seems like she’s not showing her face anytime soon,” he weightened his shoulders down, clearly feeling defeated. “I guess today is our off day — we should use it to pray for sunlight tomorrow, otherwise I’m pulling my hair off.”
When Nia woke up, you could tell she was not happy at all with the news that filming had to be cancelled for the time being. She spent the whole breakfast whining and crying about the poor weather. You tried your best to console her, but knowing your friend you knew her dramatics showed off when she worried about something. She tended to overthink every scenario that could go wrong, which did nothing to help the pressure she put on herself.
The day went on as eventless as it possibly could, the rain outside just seeming to get angrier as time passed by. You did your best to distract Nia from her own head, asking her about the recent documentaries she had watched, knowing she could go on tangents for hours. You talked about crime shows you have started before filming and shared different theories you had on them. You even listened to her deep analysis of trashy reality shows she loved to watch and always tried to drag you to get into it.
You talked and talked with no end, considering there wasn’t much else to do. Nia’s aunt hated computers and refused to install any kind of wifi, leaving you with a shitty connection that barely loaded a five-minute video.
As the evening came by, and the raindrops still hit angrily at the windows, you decided to watch another movie — this time it was Evan’s choice of Freaky Friday. 
You volunteered to grab the blankets from the cabinets on the second floor, while Nia excitedly announced she would make popcorn for everyone.
Quickly moving along the hallway, you made your way in front of the doors and opened them. You could hear footsteps coming up the stairs as you tiptoed to  reach the top shelf where the soft blanket you had used the first night lied on top of. 
“Need help?” You heard a voice approach, looking over your shoulder to find Harry walking towards you with an amused expression on his face. You nodded, chuckling as you quickly stepped out of the way to allow him to take your place. He reached up, easily retrieving the blanket and giving it to you.
“Thank you,” you muttered, looking up at him for a moment.
“No problem, darlin’,” he said, fetching two other blankets  before closing one door with a swing of his hip. You closed the other one with a small giggle. You started to quietly move along towards the staircase when he cleared his throat, causing you to look up at him. He kept his gaze down before speaking softly, “After the movie, think I’ll go back to my room a bit early,”  he looked at you for a moment, “ ‘f you want to join me.”
You stopped walking to look at him arching your eyebrows surprised, not expecting this kind of proposal at this moment. He stopped a step ahead of you, staring back with nervous eyes and shooting you a shy smile. “I’m not saying we have to do anything, I just-” he spluttered, “just wanted to be with you, without the camera and stuff.”
You smiled at him, “of course,” you voiced, “sounds nice.”
Shortly, you found yourself in the same position as the first day. Sharing a blanket with Harry, but this time Nia was wide awake next to you with a bucket of popcorn plopped on her lap. Some people would consider her to be the worst kind of person to watch movies with, considering she would always get too excited and comment on every scene she could. You had gotten so used to it with time, that it felt weird watching a movie without her voice interrupting a scene every five minutes.
It got hard to concentrate on this one in particular, and not because of Nia’s speaking over the lines, but the sudden feeling of Harry’s hand resting on your knee halfway through it. Your legs were crossed on top of the couch, making part of it rest slightly on top of his as he eased his thumb over your skin.
As time passed, he moved his hand up a bit, finding its final place on your inner thigh, causing goosebumps to arise on the back of your neck as he caressed it softly. You caught yourself holding your breath multiple times, something he was also probably aware of, considering the position of his arm on the side of your chest. 
The tension between you two was almost palpable as the end credits rolled up. At that point you had prompted yourself to lean your head on his shoulders. He grasped your skin slightly before removing his hand and motioning his position to get up, making you pull back from him.
“‘m going back to my room now,” he announced as he got up, shooting you a knowing look, “g’night.”
You stayed back for a few minutes so as not to look too suspicious, folding up the blanket you had used and scrolling through your phone for a bit. Not long after you excused yourself, climbing the stairs two steps at a time.
You found him in the hallway, leaning in on the wall right next to his door as he looked down on his phone. As he felt your presence he gazed up, grinning softly before bringing his finger above his lips as to warn you to stay quiet.
The two rushed inside his room, trying to be as quiet as possible, considering your friends downstairs could come up at any second. He closed the door behind him, looking right at you as he leaned back. His room was similar to yours, the difference being a few more clothes lying on top of the small couch standing at the corner. The curtains hanging on the big windows were pushed open, allowing the moonlight from the now-clear sky to illuminate the place. 
Your breath got caught in your throat as you stared back at him, meeting his dark irises. He started stepping closer to you until he could lean his forehead against yours. His hands found their way caressing your jawline, one of them going as far as to pulling lightly on the hair above your neck. You held your breath, gazing up at him as you waited for his next move.
He smiled lazily, brushing his nose against your softly before placing a peck to the corner of your lips. He was teasing you, his hand leaving your hair to find its way down your body, paying special attention to the side of your breast before placing itself holding your waist.
You swallowed dryly, feeling your heart speed up as you pulled him closer, wanting desperately to close the space between the two of you. Too scared that your voice would give out your desperation, you moved one of your hands to the back of his neck and pulled him in. He didn’t think twice before finally closing the space and allowing you to feel his lips against yours.
The kiss started slow, both of you still trying to figure it out how it was to taste each other like this. His lips were soft, moving teasingly as he sucked on your bottom lip. Your hand pulled his hair gently, causing him to whine into mouth, licking at your tongue as he deepened the kiss. The hand on your waist moved up, caressing the side of your breast softly as he tried to pull you in as close as possible.
He started easing you backwards, considering neither of you were willing to break the kiss to watch where you were going. You felt the mattress of his bed hitting the back of your knees. You allowed him to lay you into the bed, parting for a moment so you could move upwards, laying your head on the pillows. Shortly enough he joined you, placing his elbows on both sides of your head, not wasting any time before closing the space between your mouths again.
The two of you stayed like this for a while. Slowly kissing each other, as your arm found its way back behind his neck and one of his hand caressed your cheek. You could get used to this, with him being the only thing you could sense. His taste. His touch. His scent. 
He was all you could think about.
When you finally pulled back, you could see his red, puffy lips even with the limited amount of lighting going into the room. 
He looked into your eyes for a moment, “you look so pretty like this, darling,” he murmured, his voice just above a whisper, sending chills down your spine. “Could eat you up.” 
A small whimper left your mouth, as he dove back in to spread kissed along your cheek and down your throat. You bit hard into your lip and swallowed back a moan as he sucked in a spot right below your jawline. You could feel him grinding his hips down on your tights, making you aware of the growing bulge inside his sweats.
You placed your hand on his shoulders, pushing him gently and disconnecting him from your neck. He pulled back, looking back at you with a puzzled look. You kept pushing him until his shoulders hit the mattress, reverting the previous position you both were in, as you stranded his waist.
Looking down at him, you wanted so badly to discover his body, to make him feel good. So you took the same position he had on you. Placing your lips against his neck and running your tongue against it, sucking in his skin. You kept doing it as your hand smoothed down his body, finding the hem of his shirt and lifting it enough so you could scratch at his love handles. He gave you a small moan, a sound so delicious to hear you that made you want to swallow him whole. 
Both his hands found their place on your waist, pressing you down so you could feel his need between your tights. You quickly pulled your head from his neck, giving him a soft peck on the lips.
“Please, love, just-” he grunted, looking up at you with pleading eyes. “Just do something, please, I-“
His hands gripped tightly on your waist as you rolled your hips against him. Neither of you could contain your moans as you repeated the movement, even fully clothed his bulge rubbed deliciously against the place you needed it the most. 
You leaned down again, this time pushing his shirt up as you made your way down his body, splattering open-mouthed kisses along his warm chest. You paid a special mind to the tattoos you met along the way, sucking spots over the wings of a butterfly inked on his stomach. As you licked along the leaves of the ferns that adorned his love handles, you felt one of his hands tangling in your hair, his hips rising slightly as he whimpered.
“A bit impatient, you are,” you spoke, feeling his belly tighten as you placed a playful bite under his belly button, causing another moan to leave his lips.
“Darlin’, please,” he whined, “Just- fuck, just need you right now.”
You decided not to tease him for too long, considering you needed it just as much as he did. Finally, you moved down once more to place a kiss above the hard on over his pants. He lifted his head, watching your every move as his hand that was placed on your hair pushed some strands away from your forehead. You wrapped your hand around the hem of his sweats, rising your eyebrows at him as you felt he wasn’t wearing any underpants. The thought of having such easy access to him making you press your thighs together, feeling your wetness already damping your underwear 
Slowly, you bit your bottom lip, keeping your gaze focused on him as you moved his sweats down, he raised his hips as to help you out. Once his cock was fully out, you stared back down at it lying proudly against his stomach. You ran your fingers gently along his length, causing him to hold his breath, his abdomen tightening once more. He was definitely bigger than anyone you had ever been with, causing your mouth to water a bit and your thighs to press together once again at the thought of fully having him.
You could feel him peering down at you as you wrapped your hands around the base and applied the smallest amount of pressure. The precum was already escaping from the tip and sliding down the tiniest bit. 
Moving your head forward you looked back at his waiting eyes, spitting on top of the head as you moved your hand up caressing it. This time he gave you an actual moan, throwing his head back at the pillows behind him. 
Looking down at him, you didn’t know where to place your lips first, wanting to bite and lick every part of his body. Finally deciding on sucking a spot on his thigh, right next to where rested an ink of a tiger head.
You kept the movement of your hand, twisting it and applying more pressure eventually as you watched him shift around under you. He raised his hips slightly as he pleaded under his breath for more, his hand firmly on top of your head as the other was thrown above his own.
You moved your thumb to run across his slit, caressing the head with a flick of your wrist as you moved your mouth to place kisses at the base. At this point he became a moaning mess, throwing his arm over his mouth as to muffle the sounds while you licked up his shaft.
“God- fuck- such a good girl,” he moaned on his arm, moving it out of the way so he could look down at you. “Doing so good, you feel so good- shit.”
Smiling at him, you jerked him off a couple of times before resting your hand at the base so you could replace it with your mouth.
You licked around his head, giving it a small kiss before you moved down as far as you could go. He cried out, tightening his grip on your hair and moving his hips up to meet your movements as you sucked on him.
He was desperate to reach his climax, and you were desperate to see him cum undone under your touch. So you started speeding up, your mouth licking at his veins, your hand helping you as you moved it along his dick. He was cursing and moaning over you, pleading for you not to stop. You kept moving your hand as you licked at his head once more before detaching so you could look up at him with pleading eyes.
“Almost there?” you asked, having him nod frantically at you, “will you let me have a taste?”
That seemed to do it for him, as he pushed your head back down, making you attach your lips to his head as you felt him shoot his load inside your mouth. You milked him as he came down from his high, feeling his softness on your lips as you swallowed down.
You sat up and looked down at his hazy eyes while he calmed down with heavy breaths. He adjusted his sweats quickly before moving himself up to pull you in for a frantic kiss. “God, darling, you’re a dream,” he spoke between kisses, his hands gripping at your waist as he positioned you to lie on top of him, moving one of them under your shirt, pulling it up slowly.
You quickly placed your hand on top of his stopping him from going further as you detached from him. He furrowed his brows at you. “I should go back to my room,” you said, “got an early day tomorrow.”
He gave you a puzzled look, “but you still haven’t- “
“it’s okay,” you interrupted, moving to get up from his bed, suddenly feeling nervous under his gaze, “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? Good night!”
You left his room before he could protest, wanting to slap yourself from running away like this. 
**
The next morning was thankfully much brighter than the one before, with sunlight shining through the windows at the earliest hours. You didn’t get a lot of sleep, tossing and turning around, replaying the previous night in your head. The thought of what could’ve happened if you had stayed imprinted itself in your mind. You started to overthink it. What did he even think of you? After running away like that? 
Your thoughts consumed you as you sat in of the stools in the kitchen by yourself, for the first time being the first to be awake. Your coffee running cold by the minute, as you frowned to yourself, taking a sip every so often.
It didn’t take long until you didn’t find yourself alone anymore, having Evan join you as he happily cheered about the nice weather. You nodded along to him, not really in the mood for talking as you anxiously poked at your nails.
It was when you walked towards the sink to wash your used mug that you saw Harry walking into the kitchen. His hair messy and his eyes sleepy, making you annoyed at how charming he managed to look even after just getting out of bed. 
He greeted you with a raspiness to his voice, his eyes lingering on you a moment too long as he smirked before moving to the cabinets. He stood next to you while you washed the dishes, grabbing himself a bowl while he worked on his breakfast.
Yours arms would brush every so often as you moved while doing your tasks, making you gaze at him. He kept a grin sitting on his face as he casually made a conversation with Evan, his dimple poking out the smallest bit, but still not looking back at you.
As soon as you were finished you left for your bedroom so you could get ready for the day, but not before sparing one last glance at Harry. This time his eyes were already trained on you as he chewed slowly his fruit salad. You felt your cheeks getting a bit warm from the eye contact, making you look down and leave the room with a speeding heart.
The work started early, as you ran around to keep up with the schedule after losing one day of productivity. 
Harry seemed to be in it for teasing you. His touches lingered longer than needed. His kisses were harsher, the need behind them being almost palpable. His gaze on you told you something you couldn’t really tell exactly what it was. Lust? Desire? You weren’t entirely sure, but every time you caught him watching you felt a warmth take over your face.
In one occasion, between takes, as Nia and Evan discussed the best position for the camera considering her broken tripod. You stood awkwardly waiting for their instructions as you played with the hem of your dress. You could feel him staring closely, looking up to find him with the same smirk he gave you in the morning. He looked quickly over your friends who were still trying to figure out the problem before leaning up close to you “Still haven’t let me have a taste, love,” he said quiet enough to that just you could hear, the words sending a chill down your spine and making your core twitch as you glanced back at him.
That same night, after you announced you’d tuck yourself in, just as you changed into your pajama shorts, you heard a soft knock on your door.  You opened up to see his darkened irises staring back at you as he quietly let himself in. And within a few minutes he found his place between your legs, your hand gripping tightly at his curls as you moaned into your pillow.
The  following day wasn’t much different, starting with a tight filming schedule that was coming to a close end. An exchanging of glances across the room and yearning touches with underlying motives behind them. Ending with you lurking into his room at the dark hours of the night, craving-filled touched and muffled moans.
**
The wrap up of the film was welcomed with a bittersweet feeling settling itself in the pit of your stomach. Knowing as much as you were glad everything had gone as smoothly as possible during this week, it was time to leave it all behind. 
You were nervous about how it would be with Harry after you got home. Was this the start of something that could potentially become a warm and beautiful feeling? Or was it just a lust-filled affair that would end as quickly as it had started? It made you anxious to think about it, not wanting to let go of it just yet.
Nia walked into the living room with two champagne bottles that had been brought up for this exact moment. The atmosphere was filled with chatter as everyone celebrated the end of the hard work. 
You were dressed in the fanciest clothes you had brought on your rushed-packed bag, which consisted itself in a black blouse and a loose pair of pants you stole from Nia’s wardrobe a couple weeks prior. But you once again could not compete with Evan’s sense of style, as he seemed right out of a cover with a hot pink turtleneck under a sparkly black dress that hung all the way to his feet.
But you still couldn’t keep your eyes off of him.
You watched as he laughed along at something that had been said, his eyes meeting yours for a moment before fixing on Nia as she offered to serve him the champagne she had just opened. 
He looked so good. 
Like you, he didn’t opt for a very glam look, wearing a simple graphic white tee with a rainbow printed on it, and a simple pair of checked trousers. But as plain as someone could argue it was, he still managed to look incredibly inviting, which made it harder for you not to latch yourself onto him.
You were coming into your sixth or seventh glass when it all died down. Your head was fuzzy, and you felt giggly as you cheered along with everyone about the successful week you had. Nia had already gone back to her room. She didn’t  drink as much considering she would have to drive early in the morning, wanting to leave most of the celebration for the premiere day. 
The glances stolen between you and Harry were getting more frequent, the longing in each other's eyes visible with the effect of the alcohol.
**
He had you pressed up against your bedroom door as he sucked in your bottom lip harshly. His hands gripped at your waist tightly, putting his weight against you.
You wrapped your hand around his neck as the other pulled at his shirt desperately with the need of having him close. You felt overwhelmed by him in the nicest way. Having his hips pressing against your own, making you open your tights slightly as you felt his arousal straining on his trousers.
You whimpered into his mouth at the feeling, suddenly needing him as close as possible. You could tell his desperation matched your own by the way his hand pressed on the side of your body and his mouth moved against you. His groans getting lost in your throat every time you tangled your fingers on his roots, pulling at it.
“You’re gonna kill me like this, baby,” he breathed out, his lips moving against your wanting ones, “so fuckin’beautiful.”
You tried to keep your shaky hands steady as they travelled down his chest, scratching as his tummy lightly under his shirt before you began pulling it up. He detached from you to quickly reach over his shoulders and pull it off completely.  He didn’t waste any time bringing his hand to unbutton your blouse, peppering kisses along your lips as he moved it down your shoulders, only to be met with your bare breasts underneath.
“Fuck me,” he groaned staring down at you, attaching your lips once again as he pulled you from the door as he fiddled with the zipper of your pants. You stumbled on each other's arms across the floor until you were met with the plush feeling of the bedcovers on the back of your thighs. 
You stepped out of your pants as they got loose around your waist and fell damply to the floor, allowing Harry to push you gently into the mattress. He quickly got rid of his own trousers, wasting no time before towering above you, connecting your mouths once again.
It was like no matter how close you were, it still wasn’t good enough to satisfy the craving you had. You still wanted more. Needed more. 
He was fully licking into you, his hands gripping your tights as he rolled his hips to meet yours. You moaned in unison at the feeling of your arousals meeting deliciously as he repeated the movement once more before parting your mouths so he could spread kisses along your neck.
“Harry,” you breathed out his name, dragging your nails along his back as you moved your hips up eagerly.
He moved his head from your neck o hover above yours, licking his lips teasingly as he looked down at you with dark eyes. He moved one of his hands to caress your cheek lovingly, as the other found your breast, his thumb grazing over your nipple. “Can I have a taste, baby?” he leaned his forehead against your, not breaking eye contact, “just a fo’a bit, then you can have me.”
You nodded frantically, brushing your nose against his. He gave you one last peck on the lips before moving down again to lick down at your skin. He pressed open-mouthed kisses at your chest, sucking harshly between your breasts.  His tongue moved along your belly, craving his finger into it playfully like you had done to him, making you squeal above him.
He finally settled down between your thighs, his hand gripping at them to keep it apart before moving teasingly slow to the hem of your underwear. Your breath got caught in your throat as you moved up to lean on your elbows, gazing at him, hyper-aware of his every move. 
He looked up, grinning like a devil, before moving his face down to nose gently at your mound. Pulling away, he pressed his hands on your sides, sliding your underwear off your legs as you helped him, raising your hips slightly.
You whimpered as you felt him kiss along your inner thigh, meeting your middle as licked you once. Your hips raised impatiently, making him smirk at you again before completely diving in.
You got lost in the pleasure as he licked his tongue into you, letting yourself fall back in the cushions behind your head. Your hand moved to grip at his hair tightly as he sucked in your clit, making you yelp and call out his name. His mouth was warm as his saliva mixed with your own wetness every time he licked into you.
Feeling your arousal pooling on your folds, you desperately needed to feel him as close as possible. Wanting every inch of him against you.
You pushed him from you, grabbing at his shoulder so he could move up to face you again. He didn’t protest, spattering quick kisses along the way before pressing his mouth against yours. The taste of champagne still lingering on your tongue mixed with your own taste on his as he licked into your mouth.
“y’taste so good, baby,” he groaned, parting from you as he moved to remove his briefs. The limited amount of light illuminated his face beautifully, making you able to notice the glistening of your juices down his chin. You felt your core twitch at the scene above you, desperate to have him fill you up.
“Please,” you urged him, grabbing at his hips to pull him down.
“Can I have you, darlin’?” His voice was raspy, as he looks down at you with hooded eyes, “‘d you let me?”
Your arousal blurred your mind, your grip on his waist tightened as you raised your hips impatiently, nodding along to his question.
“Have to hear you say it, love,” he spoke, leaning down to place kisses along your neck, “just say it, and you’ll have me.”
“You can have me, please, I-” you moaned desperately, babbling words without thinking, “I need you, please.”
He raised his head from your shoulders, giving you a quick peck before reaching down to guide his length between your folds. Your belly tensed as he rubbed his head against your clit, holding back your breath as he finally slid in you.
“Fuck, you’re wet,” he choked, pushing his hips all the way, allowing you to feel every inch of him fill you up. You breathed out a moan, reaching your hand on his back. “‘s this all fo’ me?”
You whined out a ‘yes’, rolling your hips as a way of urging him to move. 
His movements began slow, his cock rubbing heavenly against your walls, making you clench around him. You both moaned and whimpered as your lips brushed.
“Can feel me deep?” He asked, resting his forehead against yours as he pushed his dick all the way in. You nodded, yearning for him to start moving again. “Can feel me in y’belly?”
“H, please,” you begged, gripping your nails on his shoulder blades.”Want you.”
“y’have me,” he kissed you hard before moving again, rolling his hips as he picked up the pace.
 The air around you was hot as you threw your head back with the delicious feeling of him hitting the spot inside of you. He was addicting. The salty taste of his skin. The touch of his hands gripping on your sides. The smell of his cologne faintly mixed with sweat. The sound of his skin meeting yours. It made you earn for him in every possible way. 
You felt your wetness dripping out of you as he pulled your leg up to your chest, allowing him to effectively hit deeper spots. The new position made a cramp start to creep up on your thight, but you ignored it to focus on the way his hips met yours.
Time seemed to pass like a blur as you pleasured each other, but soon enough you felt your orgasm building up. His thrusts became more frequent and smooth as he felt you clench more around him.
“that’s it, baby - fuck,” he grunted, moving his hand down to flicker your clit, causing to arch your back, moaning loudly. “Wanna feel you come for me.”
His cross necklace dangled over you as he watched you closely. You kept your gaze locked on his as you felt the feeling deep in your tummy take over your entire body. A moan got stuck in your throat as you opened your mouth to an ‘O’ shape, digging your nails further on his shoulders as you reached your high.
**
Getting home, you soon realized that throughout the week you had been so lost in your feelings with Harry that you didn’t even think of asking him for his phone number. 
The month that followed passed by surprisingly quickly. During the first week you were swiftly thrown back again into your old reality of course essays and textbooks. You hadn’t heard a word from Harry, and the most frustrating part is that he seemed to have settled his place inside your thoughts. You tried asking about him to Nia once or twice again, but every time she seemed to come up with vague answers and change the subject, so you figured she had other things to worry about. 
It was a disappointing end, to say the least. Even knowing from the start that being let down was the most possible outcome, it didn’t hurt any less. You often wondered if it had been something you’d done that made him pull away, or if he just wasn’t in it from the start.
By the second week you had gotten a job at a tiny local cafe you used to go after class to study and eat cinnamon rolls. That’s when time starting to rush by, as you found yourself busy through most of your day. Nia was working more than you’ve ever seen her. You two barely talked as she spent most of her time with Evan or inside her room editing. And as the week at the camp house got further away, it started to almost seem like you had imagined all of it. 
Having a lot of distractions helped, but you never seemed to push the thought of a certain curly-haired boy completely away. Sometimes during a tedious lesson you would daydream about the feeling of his lips against yours. Or right before you fell asleep you would think about the taste of his skin, how strong his hand were gripping on your thighs. Maybe even at work. When there wasn’t a lot of movement, you could almost hear the sound of his voice.
It was aggravating, the effect he left on you. It got to a point where you got angry; sometimes at him but sometimes at yourself. He was the one who had gone after you, and yet he was the one who disappeared. But again, he didn’t really owe you anything, and that’s what’s frustrating. You were the one who allowed him; you knew from the start that you would get hurt but you still went for it, anyway.
As you got closer to the premiere night that was planned, you started to get anxious. You would catch yourself daydreaming more often, not being as focused as you were. You even started picking your nails again, which is a habit you thought you’d kick it a long time ago. But truth to be told, you were nervous.
The thought about seeing him again made your heart race. You wished that you could somehow find a way not to go. Maybe ask Nia if the two of you could have a private viewing. You had even thought about bribing her with making your mom’s brownie recipe. But you already knew the answer before you even suggested it. This was an important night for her, and you would be there to support it.
You were overthinking this. Was it going to be awkward when you met him? How would you even greet him? Would he kiss you? Would he ignore you? Should you ignore him? All the scenarios in your head made you want to throw up and run away.
**
When the two of you finally arrived, you were greeted by a cheerful Evan, who jokingly teased you for being late. As you got into his house, you found a bigger group than you expected. It seemed like you and Nia were the last ones to arrive, as there was around ten other people in there. Some of them you recognized from being Nia’s friends, others you had never seen, but none was the one you earned to see the most.
Evan guided you across the living room area, “I’ll show you the kitchen so you two can get some drinks,”  He held up his glass as he spoke. Gesturing to the entrance of the room, “We’ll start everything in around ten minutes, so get ready.”
As you entered the kitchen behind Nia, you could feel her stiffen her posture a bit, before looking back at you. You frowned lightly at her, confused by her behaviour, gazing inside the room and finding immediately a pair of green eyes already watching you. It made you think back to the first time you were in this exact position, except in your own kitchen. This time, however, he was the one to approach you.
He looked really good, which did nothing to help the butterflies flying relentlessly in your stomach. He was in all black, a buttoned up shirt with a few buttons open, exposing a bit of the skin on his chest where a silver necklace laid upon. You swallowed dryly at the sight of his hand running swiftly through his hair, with a ring hugging each one of his fingers. 
As he got close, he greeted Nia first, giving her a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek, before turning his attention back to you. He shot you a shy smile, before embracing you into a hug. You didn’t really know if it was your mind playing tricks but you felt him a bit hesitant as he greeted you and placed a kiss on your cheek. Pulling away, he cleared his throat, running his hand again through his hair, he almost seemed… nervous?
“‘S nice seeing you again,” he mumbled, “this uhm… ‘s my girlfriend, Jess.”
You could felt your heart drop with his words as you finally noticed a smiley girl coming to his side. 
She wasn’t much taller than you, her red hair pulled back in a perfect ponytail. She matched him with a small black dress that annoyingly hugged her body in all the right ways. You could barely register her greeting you, as you tried your best to keep a straight face to hide the shock that took over your body. You felt a heaviness at the pit of your stomach, a feeling so distressful that made you want to scream as an attempt to make it go away.
You didn’t pay a lot of attention as Nia made a conversation with the girl, knowing that’s what she did best. You kept your gaze directed to Harry, your eyes asking a million questions - you didn’t even think you wanted to know the answers to. But he kept his eyes locked on the floor, eventually looking up at the girl in his arms as she seemed to mention him. But never meeting your own.  Her hand was caressing his chest lovingly while his found their way on her waist, keeping her close.
“I think I’ll get something to drink,” you announced, realizing you might’ve interrupted the conversation as they stopped talking. You turned to Nia, “do you want something?”
She looked back at you with sorry eyes, “I should go with you,” she quickly turned back to the girl, “It was lovely meeting you, Jess.”
“Oh! Sure,” she smiled brightly at you two, her hand moving to rest on Harry’s chest, “we should go get our seats as well, right, babe?” 
You left the scene as quickly as you could, not wanting to hear any more of it. Looking at all the drink options on top of the counter, you tried to think which one could get you drunk enough to stop feeling hurt over someone you spent just a week with, but still sober enough so that you could pretend everything was fine. Before you realized, Nia was standing next to you, getting two plastic pink cups before she stared at you with guilty-filled eyes.
“I should’ve just told you about it,” she sighed, “I didn’t want to make you sad, but looking back it was probably best if you already knew.”
You turned your head to look at her, “so you knew it all along?” You swallowed the lump in your throat as you felt it close once again.
“Evan told me like a few days after we got back!” She rushed, “I don’t know if they were together while we were filming.”
You took a deep breath, knowing Nia was probably blaming herself for putting you into this situation. But you knew it wasn’t her fault, she would never purposely put you in this position if she knew about it before.
“You know what, it’s fine,” you tried your best to cover up the hurt and gave her a weak smile, “it’s not your fault Ni. It’s okay. I’m fine.”
She pulled you into a tight hug, “I’m sorry, bubba,” she said, “let’s get you something to drink so you can enjoy this party like the star you are!”
The two of you decided on the vodka mixed with watermelon juice, something you had never even thought of trying before but seemed to be ideal to handle the situation you found yourself in. You walked back to the living area, where people were already beginning to settle on the chairs. 
Following Nia, you prompted yourself on a seat at the edge closest to the door, opposite to where Harry sat with the girl. His girl. You thought bitterly, taking a big sip from your cup and cringing at the strong taste.
There was a speech you didn’t pay much attention to before they started the film, only giving a slight smile when you realized the mention of your name. 
Before you knew it, the lights were out and your face took over the screen. 
It was harder than you thought it would be.  Looking up at the scenes you had with Harry, knowing everything that happened behind the cameras. Knowing every touch and every kiss felt more than just playing a character. You knew the actual feeling of having him to yourself. But now staring at it right in front of you, it just left a sour taste in your mouth. 
You finished your drink barely ten minutes into the film, the feeling of your chest aching starting to become overwhelming as you watched your shared kiss on the big screen. You could feel your throat close once more, your eyes watering a bit.
“I’m gonna get some air,” you whispered to Nia sitting next to you, who gave you a sympathetic smile as you got up. You glimpsed quickly to Harry who had his eyes trained on you, the girl next to him leaning to whisper something in his ear.
You could feel the tears falling down stubbornly as you left the room. Standing in the hallway, you made the decision to turn to the front door instead of the back, not wanting to face anyone with reddish eyes.
You left the house, picking your phone with shaky hands as you managed to call a ride home, sighing in relief as your screen told you it was just about three minutes away.
You heard the door open behind you as stood on the sidewalk hugging yourself to get some warmth on the chilly night. You tried your best to swallow back your tears as you turned around, expecting to find Nia looking at you with pitiful eyes. 
To your surprise, the person standing there was Harry, looking like a deer caught in the headlights as he took in your tearful eyes. He spoke your name in a soft voice, causing you to look away.
“Don’t-” you interrupted, raising your hand at him, “I don’t wanna hear it.”
He frowned at you, not wanting to upset you more. “I’m sorry,” he hesitated, taking a step forward.
Your phone buzzed in your hand, as you watched your ride pulling in front of you. You looked back at him, “I’m sorry too,” you said before moving to enter the car. 
You spared him one last glance through the window as the driver pulled away.
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chraera · 3 years ago
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⸻  you  were  told  that  the  knights  in  their  shining  armours,  or  the  king  sitting  on  his  esteemed  throne  were  the  strongest  characters  in  a  fairytale  story.  these  characters  were  paralleled  by  the  masculine  figures  in  your  life;  your  father,  his  father  before  him,  and  his  father  before  him.  where  do  you  fit  in  this  streamlined  history  of  your  family?  how  do  you  force  yourself  in  a  place  that  never  once  learned  how  to  accommodate  you?  you,  in  all  your  feminine  habits.  do  they  not  realise  that  a  smile  can  be  turned  into  a  fierce  weapon?  they  must  have  missed  the  time  when  you  learned  how  to  whisper  krypton  laced  nothings  in  the  ears  of  your  people.  they  lost  you,  you  warrior  of  a  girl.  as  you  break  down  the  walls  of  your  world,  you  know  that  only  time  can  tell  when  they  will  learn.  GIRL  ALMIGHTY,  they  should  have  known  better  than  to  let  you  fend  for  yourself.  
DOSSIER  ・  BIOGRAPHY  ・  PINTEREST  ・  PLAYLIST
helloooo everyone and welcome to aera’s life !!! my name’s keith ( she/her, gmt+8 ) and i’m very excited to be here !! i have under this little intro message a tl;dr of aera’s biography and i also plan to add in some plots over here as soon as i can. if you’d like to work something out for our muses please like this post so that i can come to you for plotting !! other than that, here goes miss shin aera out to slither her way into your life !! 
born in 1996 to a technology tycoon and hedge fund investor, and a neurosurgeon.
her parents’ marriage was one of convenience and never love. what started off as friendship ended up being the worst relationship that either of them had ever known. 
hence, aera’s childhood was very isolating. aside from the fact that her parents never bonded as a result of their strained marriage, they were both extremely busy people what with her father and his business, and her mom and her patients.
her dad never really liked her anyway because he wanted a son instead of a daughter. her mother on the other hand, loved her enough to spend time with her but once she got a little bit difficult ( as most kids are ), she was quick to hand her off. 
it took awhile but in turn, aera understood that her parents only ever wanted to be around her when she’s being pleasant. once she had half a mind to pretend, she would always put her best self forward every time her parents are around. her nannies perhaps had a million horror stories to talk about when it comes to raising her as her tantrums and crocodile tears only made appearances around them.
so yes, her nightmarish fake personality of being an absolute sweetheart was born out her desperate need to please her parents. knowing then that she could get whatever she wanted should she smile and speak at the right moment was simultaneously the best, and worst thing she had ever learned.
ff at eleven years old, her parents finally separated. aera chose to live with her father until high school because she saw how happy her mom was living independently ( her one selfish act her entire life!! never again!! )
about a year after their divorce was finalised, her father remarried a younger former model. she was nice and all but aera hated her.
her dad’s second marriage resulted in two kids; a son and a daughter. because her father finally had the child he originally wanted, aera was basically forgotten. just in time to move in with her mother and start studying at hannam high school !!! 
in school, she was known as the nice, sweet girl. despite her family’s riches, she wasn’t outlandish and was known to be humble and approachable. she’s supportive, studies hard, and is involved in various organisations for personal growth and because she wanted to help. she talks without an air of pomp and always seems to be just about ready to drop everything whenever someone needs her.
in reality, she does all of that to hide the fact that she’s merely collecting alliances and people to “help” so that she can use their gratitude to her advantage when the time comes. doing so makes her feel important and to a neglected child there’s truly nothing better than that !!
so she probably has a lot of surface level friendships and her closest ones were probably a product of “i know your secret, you know mine now we’re stuck together protecting each other’s back”.
she graduated from snu with a degree in business administration. shortly after, she started her own events planning business using her trust fund money for capital and used her family connections ( and the ones she’s built from school and those who felt indebted to her ) to gain high society clients as a way to market her business.
in no time, her events business was flourishing and that’s where she’s been keeping herself busy for the last couple of years !!
i think i’ve covered all the important bits !!! pls plot with my hellfire of a girl ♡
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venusinmyrrh · 4 years ago
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@shimmerge​ asked:
What are some ways you chose to honor or work with Jupiter if you do? I'm limited in my ability to do rituals and wanted to try to do smth for this Thursday since Jupiter is in my sign that day
Doing work on Thursday is a great idea, since that’s Jupiter’s day! Jupiter is the planet of expansion, prosperity, and abundance - many people think of Venus as the money planet, but Jupiter is actually the most ideal for bringing in a steady flow of ever-increasing cash. And while Mercury may be the perfect road-opener to create new opportunities, Jupiter is the one that will make sure those opportunities keep paying off.
Some basic stuff: Jupiter’s color is blue, its traditional number is 4, and its glyph looks like this. Some herbs associated with Jupiter that might be easy to find depending on where you live are dandelion, honeysuckle, and sage. Jupiterian stones are anything blue (especially sugilite and sapphire) so even if you have glass beads or fake stones, as long as they’re blue, go for it! No need for fancy rocks that cost a fortune or take up space.
Things to Do (under the cut)
Wear blue: Jupiter is known for his kingship, and what better way to honor the king than to wear his colors? If you don’t have any blue clothes, then blue nail polish, blue jewelry, or even blue lipstick can be a great way to carry his power around with you all day. For maximum effect, combine it with gold for wealth, green for money, or orange for opportunity (associated with Mercury!)
Light a blue or white candle: This is a pretty easy one as well, if you have access to both candles and fire. Carve something into it, rub it down with oil, roll it in herbs, whatever you like - or just sit gazing into the flames, the way humans have done for hundreds of thousands of years. (We are all part of something bigger than ourselves.)
Meditate: This would be a great thing to do while your candle is lit, especially if you don’t want to leave it unattended (which you should never do anyway unless it’s in a jar AND you’ve taken extra precautions!) Sit quietly somewhere you won’t be disturbed and visualize yourself having everything you want as if you already have it. What is your life like? What do you do each day? How does it make you feel? Now backtrack: visualize how you got there. See how one thing led to another which led to another, taking you all the way from where you are now to where you want to be. Feel proud of yourself! Allow yourself to be sure that things will happen just this way.
Draw a sigil: My sigil formula is symbol that reminds me what I’m trying to achieve + symbol of a thing that can help me achieve it. Trying to get more money? Doodle the glyph for Jupiter combined with a dollar sign until you come up with a design that looks nice, and there you are. Draw it in a notebook, tear it out, and hang it up. Carve it into a candle with a penknife or a paper clip. Draw it in black sharpie on something that is also black. Paint it with water on a window or a door. Draw it on an index card to put in your wallet (very appropriate for Jupiter!) Don’t like designing? Just use the symbol linked above - the important thing is that you’re making a mark with intention.
Write a petition: Write down what you want in the present tense, as if you already have it. “I am wealthy, with no financial worries for the future. I have more than enough money to buy clothes and go to restaurants. I fly first class when I travel, which I do often.” Get into detail! Be descriptive and passionate. Many people become so overwhelmed with emotion at this part that they start to cry, and that’s a good thing. When you’re finished, take the paper and burn it, bury it, throw it into running water, tear it up and throw it off a cliff, whatever. Just put it out into the universe and out of your mind, so it can do its work.
Make a vision board: Jupiter is a big, big thinker, so make something that depicts your long-term goals and your wildest dreams. It’s best to do this with your hands, as in a physical collage, but pinterest boards and tumblr aesthetics work too! The important thing is that you don’t limit yourself in your vision. Your goals are more realistic than you think.
Make big plans: You know that thing you’ve always said you were going to do? Commit to it now! Buy the guitar you’ve always been meaning to learn to play, make that big painting you’ve been thinking of for a while now, or call up your old college friend and tell them you’re planning on visiting next year. The first step is often the biggest and hardest one to take, so once that’s out of the way, the rest of the details will become a lot easier to sort out.
Do something generous: True kingship is stewardship. If there is something you have an abundance of, whether it’s time, knowledge, patience, or skill, consider giving some to a person who could use it, just to help them out. When we are generous with the world around us, we express our trust that the world will be generous with us in return.
Cook with butter or eat something deliciously fatty: Be generous with yourself too! Jupiter is not stingy with the good stuff, so don’t hold out in the name of discipline. Some great foods to incorporate would be fruit, cheese, nuts, meats, bread, pie, cake, or champagne. The king doesn’t need a reason to throw a feast, and neither do you!
For more information, check out:
Betwixt the Shadows on Youtube, run by my boss at the occult shop and the head tarot reader who is also an accomplished astrologer. They take questions every week!
@salvatore_modern_witch, my boss’s instagram, where he posts lecture videos based in his forty years of experience in planetary and ceremonial magic. (It is not very fancy, because he is an old man, but it is super informative!)
Sphere and Sundry, which combines the most potent planetary magical materia with the most incredibly comprehensive product descriptions I have ever seen. Even if you don’t feel like shopping, their website is worth ransacking for the information alone.
Austin Coppock’s online almanac and just in general everything that @adapembroke has going on.
Go forth and be merry in your power!
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spirits-child · 4 years ago
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Tasseomancy
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First of all we should say thanks to my good pal @norathewitchling​ for motivating me to learn something xd. Many may already know that i don’t know much of divination, I have my pendulum and i know scrying, no more. Do i wanna learn tarot/runes/etc? OBVIOUSLY, i dream with having a tarot deck.
But i can’t.
So here is another post of “let’s learn discrete divination with Roy 101″
What is tasseomancy or reading tea leaves?
Have you seen Harry Potter? If you have, you may have seen that scene in which the teacher tells Harry that he is fucked up because of some tea leaves. And yes, exactly that is what Tasseography is. 
*this is kinda of a long post so stick with me please xd*
How do i read the tea? 
First prepare yourself tea, if you can do it in a white/light colored cup that would be even easier for you. 
Before drinking, try to meditate or clear your mind. Also trust your first impressions and don’t second guess, trust the process. 
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You also should know that the cup splits into 3 parts, the rim, the side, and the bottom. The rim is the present of the person you’re reading to, the side is the events that are not too distant, and the bottom represents the distant future. If you wanna add even more detail, the symbols that appear near the handle have a great chance of being  fulfilled.
If you’re reading to yourself you should concentrate in yourself, but if you’re reading for other person, the concentrate in the other person. 
Drink the cup, thinking in the question you’re asking and when you’re done, you’ll see some symbols, letters, something, well those mean something. 
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Here’s an example by teausa 
Here are some other posts about the positions when reading tea:
here
here
Learning to identify the symbols 
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via pinterest
SYMBOLS 
Abbey:
An abbey is a sign of financial gains and comfort. It also symbolizes success.
Abacus:
If you see an abacus, it means that you need to be more careful about your finances. There might be a problem in this aspect of your life.
Ace Of Clubs:
Seeing this indicates that you will be receiving good news in the near future, through the post.
Ace Of Diamonds:
Cheer up, because you are about to receive a wonderful present or some amount of money!
Ace Of Hearts:
An ace of hearts indicates that there is happiness and there is love in your home.
Ace Of Spades:
Seeing an ace of spades signifies that you might get involved in something about a large town or building soon.
Acorn:
Finding an acorn means that you are about to receive a good fortune soon or be more well-off financially. However, if the symbol is at the bottom of the cup, it means good health is awaiting you.
Airplane:
This indicates that you have a long distance journey ahead of you. If the plane is broken in the middle, it could give a warning about some impending danger.
Anchor:
If the anchor is pointing upwards, it means there will be stability and consistency in your life. In case it is downwards, then it would mean that there will be inconsistency in different phases of your life. It can also indicate unpleasant situations and burdens lurking around the corner.
Angel:
An angel indicates good news awaiting you. It also means that there is someone out there who is watching out for you.
Alligator:
An alligator symbol is just as unpleasant as it is in real life. It means there are people in your professional life who claim to be your friends but are not, and might even exploit you.
Ant:
It acknowledges that you are a hard working person, and also indicates that being industrious will soon lead to good results.
Apple:
An apple indicates that you will be living a long life, and also predicts success in school or profession.
Arch:
An arch indicates that a good opportunity is coming your way. To have a clearer meaning of what that could be, look for nearby symbols.
Arm:
An arm can mean different things based on the direction it is pointing towards. If the arm is pointing upwards, it means that you will be receiving new direction in your life. In case it points downwards, it means that you are suffering from a lack of motivation and need to take necessary steps.
If it is lying horizontally, it indicates that you will be receiving help or giving out love and good thoughts to someone.
Axe:
An axe indicates the power to overcome all sorts of difficulties.
Baby:
A baby indicates that something new is coming along your way. It might also give a sign of pregnancy, or indicate minor worries.
Bag:
A bag indicates that you are most likely going to be trapped in something. If the bag is open, it means that you have a chance to escape it.
BALL:
A ball indicates fun coming your way, and also shows the possibility and your desire to travel.
Balloon:
A balloon indicates that you have a busy social life, and are always moving on to one thing from the other. Basically, you do not ever settle down.
Barrel:
A barrel indicates joy and laughter.
Basket:
Baskets indicate new fruitful things in abundance. It can also imply that you are going to have a baby.
Bat:
A bat can imply that you are going through a very productive phase.
Bat Or Club:
Bats or clubs tell you that you are in a dangerous situation that you really need to pay attention to.
Beacon Or Lighthouse:
This can mean there are some problems or situations out there that could really use your leadership or other qualities now.
Bear:
A bear means that there are troubles ahead of you. You really need to be cautious about those.
Bed:
Seeing a bed indicates that you need to have a good night’s sleep before moving onto your next venture.
Bee:
If you find a bee at the bottom of your cup know that this symbolizes industriousness.
Beetle:
A beetle means that you are constantly renewing yourself and moving forward.
Bell:
A bell can indicate any kind of unforeseen good news, especially in business and love matters.
Bicycle:
A bicycle indicates individuality, meaning you have what it takes to choose your own way.
Bird:
Seeing a bird can mean a lot of different things, depending on the number and type of bird that you see. Here are some examples-
Standing Bird- Delay in something
Flying bird- Good news lies ahead
A flock of birds- Interesting news
Goose- Success in business
Peacock- Signifies pride about something
Eagle- Signifies power
Crow- Indicates bad news
Parrot- Shows the nature of gossiping
Chicken- Indicates a happy childhood
Dove- Love and warmth
Owl- Indicates knowledge and wisdom
Rooster- Pompousness, and pretentiousness
Swan- Predicts starting of a romance
Swallow- Signifies new and happy beginnings
Boat:
A boat indicates that you will be embarking on a journey soon, mostly a pleasant one
Book:
If the book is closed it means good news is awaiting. In that case, you need to put your investigation skills to use.
Bush:
Bush signifies new opportunities and growth.
Butterfly:
Butterflies can indicate transforming into something more. They can also show the characteristic of fickleness.
Cabbage:
A cabbage means that there is some jealousy brewing somewhere.
Candle:
A candle is an epitome of help coming from loved ones.
Cap:
A cap means there are troubles lying ahead.
Cat:
If you see a cat it means that there is a false friend near you, and you need to keep your eyes and ears open in order to protect yourself.
Chain:
A chain can indicate the starting of a new married life or an engagement
Chair:
A chair means that a guest is coming to visit.
Cigar:
As harmful as cigars are, they symbolize new friends in this form of divination.
Circle:
A circle indicates success in your life. If the circle has a dot in it, it means a baby will be arriving.
Clock:
A clock means better health and time management.
Clouds:
If the clouds are light, it means happiness. If they are dense and dark, they symbolize problems.
Coins:
Coins indicate a financial gain.
Comb:
A comb means that an enemy is nearby. It also means to focus on physical aspects.
Cross:
Cross indicates that a sacrifice has to be made.
Cup:
Cups mean rewards or presents. It is also an advice to be patient.
Dagger:
Dagger serves as a warning. It means that you need to be careful from the ill in yourself as well as in others.
Dish:
A dish means there are problems in your home.
Dog:
A dog is a sign of a good friend. If the symbol is at the bottom of the cup, it means a friend is in need of help.
Door:
If the door is open it means you will move on to something new. If it is closed, it indicates old issues and burdens that you are carrying around.
Duck:
A duck indicates financial gain and success in professional life.
Egg:
An egg is a good omen and indicates new journeys of life.
Elephant:
Elephants mean wisdom and strength. If the trunk is faced upwards, it means you will overcome obstacles.
Envelope:
An envelope is a sign that there is news coming your way. It could be either positive or negative.
Eye:
If the eye is open, it signifies taking notice of something that has been there for a long time. In case it is closed, it means you are putting a blind eye towards certain things.
Face:
The face does not usually mean anything in itself. Look for nearby signs and symbols and see if that face is facing them. Then you should focus on that symbol.
Fan:
A fan means flirtation is happening soon.
Feather:
Feathers symbolize carelessness and lack of concentration.
Fence:
A fence symbolizes limitations or obstacles that are temporary in nature.
Finger:
A finger does not really portray anything in itself, rather it intensifies the thing it is pointing towards.
Fire:
If the fire is on the upper side, it means you will be achieving something but if it is near the bottom, it shows danger.
Fish:
A fish indicates wellbeing and good fortune.
Flag:
A flag depicts patriotism and can also indicate some sort of danger.
Flowers:
Flowers mean that love and respect will be yours to keep.
Fly:
A fly signifies a small bit of an annoyance. But it might become a huge problem if not taken care of immediately.
Foot:
Seeing a foot means that you will be moving forward in various aspects of life such as love, career, and spirituality.
Fork:
A fork indicates that people flatter you to get their jobs done.
Frog:
If you see a frog, hold tight, for you are going to go through a revolutionary change.
Fruit:
Fruits indicate abundance and prosperity in all good things of life.
Gate:
A gate indicates a doorway to future success and happiness.
Glass:
A glass symbolizes integrity.
Glow:
Glow means that you will receive enlightenment, or that you might have to face a challenge.
Goat:
Seeing a goat is a foreshadow of enemies. It means that you need to be careful.
Grapes:
Grapes indicate that you will soon receive something that will make you very happy.
Gun:
Seeing a gun foretells that there might be unresolved anger issues or predicts sexual activities.
Hammer:
Seeing a hammer means that you need to work harder in your life.
Hand:
A hand signifies creation. If the hand is an open position, it means friendship. In case it is in a closed position, it indicates arguments.
Harp:
The harp is a symbol of peace, love, and harmony.
Hat:
A hat signals consciousness and improvement in various different aspects of life.
Hawk:
A hawk is a symbol of jealousy.
Heart:
A heart symbolizes, love, and happiness. It also means there is someone in your life whom you can confide in.
Horn:
A horn indicates prosperity and abundance.
Horse:
If you see a horse that is galloping, then it means good news is coming. If you do not see the body off the horse, only the head, it signifies a lover.
Horseshoe:
A horseshoe indicates good luck and attraction. What is meant to be yours will surely be yours.
Hourglass:
An hourglass indicates that time is running out fast and that some kind of decision needs to be made.
House:
Seeing a house is a signal of success. It may also signify change and uneasiness.
Iceberg:
An iceberg means that there is danger lying ahead.
Insect:
Seeing an insect depicts that the problems in your life are not worthy of being worried about and you will definitely overcome those.
Jewels:
Jewels indicate that you will receive a gift or reward from someone in the near future.
Kangaroo:
A kangaroo symbolizes warmth and harmony at home.
Kettle:
A kettle means that whatever illness is around you, it is minor and not something to worry about.
Kite:
A kite expresses the wish to be free and also foretells that wishes will come true.
Knife:
A knife can mean all kinds of dangers such as broken friendship, illnesses, legal problems. Beware of everything and try to keep an eye open at all times.
Ladder:
A ladder bespeaks promotion, but it can also mean a great downfall in life. The meaning can change according to the surrounding symbol.
Lamp:
If the lamp is turned on then it means wisdom. In case it is situated at the top of the cup it means that you will go to a feast. If it is at the side then it means some truth will be revealed, and if it is at the bottom of the cup then it signals delay.
Leaf:
A leaf indicates a new life.
Letter:
A letter indicates some kind of news coming your way just like the envelope.
Lines:
When the lines are straight, it means that you are progressing in your life. If they are wavy, then it means you are not sure of where you are going and if there are many lines, then it means you will be going on a few short trips in a short span of time.
Lion:
A lion usually signifies a man who is very powerful. If it is a lioness, then it means a strong family.
Lock:
If the lock is closed it signifies obstacles and if it is open, then it means you will come across new information soon.
Loop:
If the loops are complete, then they symbolize commitment and good fortune. If they are broken, then they mean obstacles and minor disruptions.
Man:
A man indicates a visitor. However, it could be of either gender. If the man is situated near the handle, it means that the visitor is someone close to you.
Mask:
A mask indicates insecurity or anything that is hidden.
Moon:
If the moon is full, it means that romance is ahead of you. A half-moon indicates that it is time to leave old things and move on and a quarter moon serves as a warning against making decisions in the spur of the moment.
Mountain:
A mountain symbolizes large goals and the difficulties that arise with them.
Mouse:
A mouse indicates that something close to you will be stolen.
Mushroom:
If the mushroom is at the top of the cup, it means that you will be going on a journey soon and if it is near the bottom, it means abundance and prosperity. An upside down mushroom could indicate a lack of motivation and frustration.
Nail:
A nail portrays injustice and unfairness.
Necklace:
If the necklace is complete, it signifies lovers. But if it is broken, it might mean that you are in the danger of losing a loved one.
Needle:
A needle is an epitome of recognition and admiration.
Oak:
Oak is a symbol of good health and long, happy life.
Octopus:
An octopus indicates there is danger surrounding you.
Ostrich:
An ostrich bespeaks travel, and might also mean that you are running away from a truth you do not want to face.
Owl:
An owl betokens gossip and malicious intentions.
Palm Tree:
A palm tree is a signal of prosperity and abundance in wealth.
Parasol:
A parasol indicates that you will learn new insights about something existing, or be protected from harmful information.
Pig:
A pig signifies gluttony, greed or prosperity and fruitfulness.
Pistol:
A pistol indicates danger.
Purse:
If the purse is at the top of the cup, it means you will achieve financial gain. In case it is at the bottom, it indicates that you are in for a loss.
Question Mark:
Seeing a question mark means that you need to be cautious about your surroundings.
Rabbit:
A rabbit indicates that there is a high need for bravery out there.
Rake:
A rake means that you will get rewards for the things you have done or punishments for the harmful things.
Raven:
A raven indicates bad news or the death of a loved one. However, the death might lead to a new beginning.
Ring:
A ring usually represents marriage or completion of endeavors. If it is broken it means that an engagement will be broken soon.
Rose:
A rose indicates the beginning of a new love story or the prediction that the love will deepen.
Saw:
Seeing a saw indicates that something should be thrown away from your present life.
Scale:
A scale is a mark of legal issues. If the scale is balanced it means there will be a just result; if it is unbalanced it means an unjust result is due.
Scissors:
Scissors indicate quarrels, which could also result in separation.
Sheep:
A sheep symbolizes good fortune.
Shell:
Seeing a shell means that you will receive good news, or get a reward for your efforts soon
Shelter:
A shelter forebodes the danger of loss of money or sudden ill-health
Ship:
A ship indicates a worthwhile journey.
Shoe:
A shoe indicates that you are on the correct path. However, you should also pay attention to the condition of the shoe.
Snake:
If the snake is resting, it means there might be a wedding. In case it is attacking, you should look out for danger.
Spider:
If a spider is weaving a nest, it foreshadows that you will receive a reward at work.
Spoon:
A spoon is a mark of generosity.
Star:
Stars symbolize health and happiness and renders hope.
Sun:
The sun is a symbol of happiness, merriment, and success
Sword:
A sword usually portends arguments.
Table:
A table symbolizes social gatherings.
Tent:
A tent symbolizes hidden meanings and truths disguised. It might also foretell troubles.
Thimble:
A thimble means that there will be changes in your home and personal life.
Tortoise:
A tortoise gives a sign of constructive criticism.
Tower:
A tower indicates that you might face disappointments.
Tree:
A tree symbolizes improvements. The improvement can be related to your life.
Triangle:
Seeing a triangle means that soon you will come across something unexpected.
Umbrella:
An umbrella portrays grievances and annoyances.
Urn:
Urns indicate financial gain and happiness.
Vase:
A vase means that a friend is in need of help.
Violin:
A violin portrays ego.
Volcano:
A volcano depicts that there are dangerous emotions inside you which might erupt at any time.
Wagon:
A wagon indicates that a wedding will take place in the near future.
Wasp:
A wasp means that you will face problems in your love life.
Waterfall:
A waterfall symbolizes prosperity and abundance.
Wheel:
If the wheel is intact, it indicates good fortune. In case it is broken it means you will face disappointment.
Wings:
Wings indicate that you will receive a message quite soon.
Woman:
Seeing a woman means you are longing for love and affection and want to experience the taste of a happy life.
Wolf:
A wolf indicates that the people around you who claim to be your friend might actually be jealous of you. In that case, you should stay aware of them.
Yoke:
Yoke is a sign of domination.
Zebra:
Zebras indicate that an adventure is due, which will most probably take place overseas.
———— :-: ————
Well that was itttt! Hope it helped something, and good luck my kids!
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uwua3 · 5 years ago
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Your writing is amazing! Like honestly! ✨ Can I request some yuki dating headcanons like with an s/o. If not I understand have a great day! 😊
thank you so much ♡ can i just say i love your support and enthusiasm for my writing 🥺 i always see you liking/replying to my posts and i am In Love With You i swear *thousands of hearts* thank you for everything~ but yes, of course! one super soft yuki hc coming up right away!!!
summary: yuki was yours and only yours, and he wanted to make sure everyone knew
author’s note: this was so sweet, it gave me multiple cavities! i’m sorry if it’s awkward, i’m not too experienced in the art of ~ love ~ even though i’m such a hopeless romantic! hope this was cute enough :D
i hope everyone knows relationships don’t make you whole, you are your own person. your s/o can help you improve to be the best version possible, but you are just as unique and interesting as an individual, never forget that ♡
word count: 1,803
music: Q&A – seventeen ft. ailee, hold your hand – lee hi
couple outfits.
🌻👘 rurikawa yuki
yuki didn’t just date anybody, let’s make that clear. in fact, yuki never dated anyone before you!
yuki liked you, so, so much. before he said anything, it physically hurt him to be so distracted by your presence when he had so many responsibilities
(it also hurt tenma when backstage, yuki forgot what he was doing and didn’t look where the needle was going when he became too entranced)
(“you idiot! stop staring at them for one second!” tenma yelped, not seeing yuki’s embarrassed blush before the two got caught in a petty argument once again. obviously, you had to play peacemaker)
but yuki was scared every time you looked at him and saw your stupid smile. you seemed so happy around him, and yuki could tell the signs before you even knew
you had to like him romantically, your hugs lingered and personality was made of sugar only around him
you were so obvious, you liked him and he was scared of messing everything up. it was so rare to find a good friend like you, was it worth it to risk everything?
before he even knew it, yuki was preparing a rejection because no person could come between him and his work (at least, that’s what he tried to reason it with)
but every time you looked at yuki, with all the affection in the world, he didn’t have the heart to say it
maybe, yuki didn’t want to say something he didn’t believe in
so the best solution was if he avoided the topic, you guys would be friends forever and nothing would have to go wrong
so when he confessed out of no where, yuki slapped his hands over his own mouth because he was such an idiot (for once)
you two were buying fabrics for the next mankai production, yuki happily browsing the store with the increased budget
yuki practically pulled you to the secluded corner, convincing you the store’s hidden gems were always in the piles of boxes about to be donated
when you found a discarded silk scarf hidden amongst the mixture, you looped it around your own neck and pretended like you were ali–baba, reciting the lines from water me! to get his attention
(you helped yuki practice his lines in the script so you were practically an understudy)
yuki already started ignoring your ridiculous tactics, about to tell you to shut up and help him find the perfect material when he turned around—you had it!
yuki rushed forward, unintentionally pulling you in close as he inspected the fabric’s qualities, not realizing how you were invading his personal space
“how did you even find this, you must be my...” yuki stumbled on his words, looking up to see you staring at him with such unmasked fondness, it made him become flustered
“your what?” you questioned, playfully smiling as you leaned forward, causing yuki to automatically pull back
(silly yuki! he forget he still had a death grip on the scarf as you followed him forward, holding out your arm on the wall nearby to prevent you two from falling)
yuki flinched, expecting the impact of the ground but opened his eyes to see you were leaning over him and was trapped between your arms
a beat of silence passed. yuki was about to let go before you moved in closer, innocently tilting your head as you had a cat–like cheshire grin
“tell me i’m yours, yuki~” you giggled, watching the way his face immediately turned red. any other person, he’d push off without a doubt. but he liked that you teased him so much, that you were so affectionate and open to him
yuki wish he didn’t like you so much
he knew you were joking, but,
yuki really did like you so much
“you’re mine. i want you to be mine.” yuki admitted, his expression forming one of shock as if he couldn’t believe what he said. how could he just confess that?! yuki shut his mouth, still against the wall as you blinked once. twice.
it didn’t take long before you fell back from laughter, bruising yuki’s ego as he crossed his arms and looked away, embarrassed
this is what he got for trying to be spontaneous and “in the moment”. yuki didn’t know what to expect, was he ready for this?
wait... what if he’s been reading all the signs wrong? oh my god, what if you didn’t even see him that way?!
“aish... don’t laugh... you’re so—” yuki felt the scarf get yanked around his wrist like a lasso and before he could react, it was you who pulled him in close this time
his hands landed on your shoulders, trying to balance himself but you kept him steady, putting your arms around his waist as you grinned like a little kid
“i like you, too.” you confessed, overwhelmed with happiness as yuki felt the same
yuki smiled and closed the distance, feeling like you two were in your own world
the fabric store was forever his favorite now, because it was the place he 1. found the perfect silk material for a costume (every time), 2. kissed you for the first time, and 3. had his first relationship start
from that point forward, you two entered a relationship full of mutual respect, care, and even love later on
(yuki said it first, surprisingly enough. but this time, it was on purpose)
yuki fantasized about being the dream couples he saw online in his pinterest board, reblogging couples outfits and creating a private folder he gazed at every once in a while
when you discovered this, you intentionally showed up wearing the same color scheme as yuki and the rest was history
once yuki saw you were just as excited and giddy to appear as a couple, yuki put his sewing skills to work as he made custom pieces he knew you’d love
you name it, you probably got it: matching berets with your signature color, pretty hair ribbons and bows, and for anniversaries/special events, yuki would work day and night to craft the outfit of your dreams
yuki loved expressing his affection through gifts because it was personally difficult to say he liked you without sounding like his default sarcastic state
every day was valentine’s day, by the way
so showing up with a huge, perfectly wrapped box or bag with colorful tissue paper that always correlated with the gift wasn’t out of the norm, yuki loved spoiling you~ (lucky you!)
if yuki saw something in the window on his way home that reminded him of you, he bought it without a second thought and watched your eyes lit up (so worth his empty wallet)
if yuki found a teddy bear that was the embodiment of all things soft and lovely, it was already at your door step with a handwritten letter he would never admit to writing
everything that made him happy started reminding yuki of you (you had to directly tell him to stop to prevent him from going broke)
any time yuki went out shopping, he took you because he liked seeing what your interests and dislikes were
yuki was very thoughtful and considerate, always paying attention to how you reacted to certain things outside of the fashion world as well
but you also watched him closely as well, and it allowed yuki to reveal his more vulnerable, insecure side when he found out you didn’t judge him and even, understood him
you also practiced doing couple’s PDA with him when you noticed how scared he got
you would initiate hand–holding, hugging, and doing small things like bending down to tie his shoes or any ribbon he had on his outfit; just casual contact to get him used to gentle touches that were more than just friendly now
it took a while, but yuki started returning the favor by fixing the accessories in your hair and even wore this tacky tenma bracelet you bought for him as a gag gift
(he hated it and the way tenma looked like some egotistical maniac, but it made you laugh every time. it was worth it) (maybe tenma’s dumb face was good for something)
it was also nice to hear genuine, real compliments everyday. you make it your goal to remind yuki of the small details you loved on his outfit, or how soft his hair was, and the way he presented himself just to show your attention was all his when you two were together
yuki would grow to trust you with his whole heart, feeling his own heart become candy because you were just so sweet
you stole his heart and never gave it back, and it was lovely to know you were taking great care of it and truly treasured him for him
between the two of you, you taught yuki how to trust and rely on other people despite his independent complex as he often put on a strong front
yuki would go to you first if he had a problem, which was hard at first but he got into the habit because he wanted to show you he cared
yuki would text you frequently asking about your day (newsflash, he actually does want to know) and would send you updates of any piece he was working on
you understood yuki prioritized his seamstress career and always proudly spammed his social media posts with heart emojis and adoring compliments
(he always had to hide and cover his face with his hands because he was so grateful you were so proud) (he never told you that, though)
even though he’d instantly get flustered and tried to deny them, you helped him believe them more and more everyday until he could confidently take anything on in the world
(“if my partner thinks it’s cute, i’m cute!” yuki loudly said to the mirror, hearing your laugh the next room over. oops)
you guys didn’t have to talk every single day, though, don’t get me wrong. you two always wanted the best for each other and defined healthy boundaries to allow both of you to flourish and prosper!
yuki, at first, always apologized for spending time on certain projects but you never accepted them, instead encouraging him even more and praising his work ethic
yuki still sent you links throughout the day of things to try and cute outfits he’d love to see you in
it was so thoughtful that throughout the day, you were always on his mind even if he was busy
but no matter what, you two always supported one another through your endeavors and did everything 100% with each other’s best interests at heart
you really liked yuki, and he liked you back just as much, maybe even a little more
(okay, definitely a lot more)
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georgeshutcheson · 3 years ago
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How To Start A New Business And Make It A Success
New Post has been published on https://www.fastaccountant.co.uk/how-to-start-a-new-business-and-make-it-a-success/
How To Start A New Business And Make It A Success
In this article we’re going talk about how to start a new business! All right, so we want to start a business, hooray! When it comes to starting a business, you want to get organized, and first things first, figuring out what your business name is. So now once you have that name, you really want to figure out and create your business plan. This is just a simple document that’s going to go over what your business is all about, what you do, who your market is, who your customers are, everything that you need to potentially show to investors to give you the money to start the business. You have to have a clear action plan with all the details. Plus it’ll help you to really flush out what you need and the goals you should keep top of mind in order to succeed. And it keeps you kind of grounded so you’re not going in a million different places, as we all do, I know I do it a lot. If you don’t have that business plan written out, you will be everywhere and nowhere. After you get organized, and you’ve committed to what you want to do with your business, what comes next? I’ve seen my entrepreneurial friends and I went through it myself, is determining whether you want to operate as a Limited company or sole trader. You definitely have to register your business in some shape or fashion. What most people do is the limited company but there’s also the partnership if there is more than one of you starting the business together. Why Limited Company? Well, it helps you really protect yourself from your business. So if your business was ever sued, they can’t come after your personal assets. It’s going to keep you and your business separated. Once you have that, the next thing will be to register your business with HM Revenue and Customs (HMRC). That’s really going to help you when it comes time to creating a business bank account. Next up you need to check if your business needs a special license in order to operate. For example, if you are thinking of opening a business that involves the sale of alcohol in the UK you will need a license. The next thing you need to do with starting your business, is figuring out where you want to work. Now with some businesses such as a cafe, you can’t really do that at home, you have to have a shop, but some businesses you can do at home. A good example will be online survey. You can also do a co-working space which is super popular these days. If you don’t know what a co-working space is, you essentially rent out part of a building, or you rent out a desk, where there are tons of other entrepreneurs just like you, doing the same thing. It can be advantageous to get out of the house and operate around people just like you with the same mindset. I love working from home, but I need to kind of mix it up every now and then. So it’s that or a shop. The co-working space can have its advantages. Think about it, you’re in such an exciting time, you’re starting a business. You might meet someone that could help you network, or help you with that next step, because there’s a lot of like-minded people hanging out there, doing productive things like you. Money management is important when you are running a business. So, get a business bank account, don’t use your personal account, especially when you’re paying your employees, and everything else. Also open up a line of credit just in case something happens and you need some quick funds. Next, talk to an accountant to help you keep everything organized. That has been very helpful for my other local heroes out there, my business friends recommend that. Another big essential is insurance! Whatever you do, you need to cover your business with insurance. Check out all the different insurances, and do your research to make sure you’re fully covered, because you never know what might happen. Someone might hurt themselves at your business premises or you might pick up a tussle with one of your suppliers. You need insurance to cover these things. Next thing is branding your business. Start with your email address and your logo. There is also social media and all the marketing. What are you are going to do with your website? So think about your branding. Those are pretty important essential things. Let’s start with a domain name and your email address. Your domain name has to be something that will get people to your website. You don’t want to have some random URL. You want it to be your business. And with that, you’ll have that professional email. Compare .com to gmail.com. If you have the ending not be your domain name, it doesn’t look as professional. I love Gmail, but as a business, have it your domain name. You can still do Gmail for business, there’s Office 365, lots of email providers that you can use to really make your business look professional and credible. Now lets jump into your website. That’s the whole point of having an online presence. It’s something that you control. You need to have some kind of website, even if it’s just basic information on what you do, or some videos of your product. You could even add an option for people to spend money on your website. Another important thing to bring up, make sure you have contact info on your website.
Now for you business social media! That is where you want to go and really take the logo that you have and be consistent with it across all of your platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest. Make sure to set up business pages not personal pages. This is very important. And finally what are your policies? What are the policies in place for your business? With almost any type of business, you need a terms of service. Depending on the type of business you run, you should probably consult a lawyer with this. The important thing is that you should have something. Like what is your return policy? What’s your privacy policy? Do you keep customer information? What does all this look like? Have some kind of terms of service to help protect you and your business. Make a copy of your policies available for all of your employees. Most companies will usually have it on their website. Usually down at the bottom where there’s a little link to the terms and service and the privacy policy. Be accessible! – Yes. – And also have some social proof. That is definitely today’s word of mouth. So be easily accessible. Make it easy for me to contact you, and definitely make sure I can find you readily. Make yourself easily available on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. The social proof is basically just testimonials and reviews of other customers. You want them to say hey, Mary’s hair studio is awesome, or Jimmy’s take away is awesome, or whatever that looks like. It really helps people identify with you and trust you. A pro tip for you all, do not be just a cave dweller, go out into the open and be social. Talk to people on social media, talk to people in real life, and really put your business and yourself out there. You can’t expect them all just to come to you. That will not happen. I know that it’s a famous quote, “if you build it they will come”, they won’t! You have to go to them and show them what you’re all about. Be proactive and add the human element to your online presence.
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starbuckie · 4 years ago
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Some Quarantine Lovin’ Chapter Five: Love is a Many Splendored Thing
Marvel Highschool! AU
Pairing: Bucky x Reader
Warnings: Obscene amounts of fluff, kissing, swearing, kinda a lot of angst
Description: Bucky Barnes is absolutely, no doubt about it, in love with Y/N L/N. He’s loved her since the day he laid eyes on her in the third grade. He loved her when he had his own girlfriend, and when he was barely friends with her for a whole summer. And of course, in his freshman year, they are now stuck together. In a house. During a worldwide quarantine. This should be fun.
**WARNING: MENTIONS OF DEATH, CAR CRASH, MENTIONS OF ABUSE, AND INJURY IN THIS CHAPTER** 
Words:  5,207 words
A/N: Hey guys! We’re almost at the end of this series, and I’m a little sad. This was my first ever fic, so it’s always gonna be my baby. This chapter deals with death, mentions of abuse, and a car crash, so if you didn’t see my warning above, and you are triggered by any of these things, please do not read because I don’t want to upset any of you. However, if you do read and find something offensive, please please contact me and I will do my best to fix it, and I don’t mean any harm at all, and am sorry in advance. Also, I listened to this “howlos” playlist while writing this and it is an absolute masterpiece. Moving on from that, thank you so much to my beta @transparentfestivaltiger as always, and thank you for reading!
(also seb looks like a freakin’ baby here)
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Things didn’t change as much as Bucky thought they would after he and Y/N confessed to each other. They still had the same sweet friendship from before, but now they could sneak in a kiss or two, and there were a lot more heated glances and affection. 
As soon as Y/N’s parents had come home that evening, they knew exactly what had happened. Of course, Mary and Charlie L/N had known that the pair of best friends liked each other: it had been obvious since the third grade. Though Y/N and Bucky may have not realized it that early, they had practically been an old married couple since the beginning of their friendship. Now that they were in a “relationship”(or as much of one as they could be in while quarantined together), they weren’t allowed to sleep in the same room together, and they were watched a lot closer. While Bucky blushed and apologized every time Y/N’s parents caught them kissing, Y/N laughed. She knew her parents were happy for her, and frankly, it was adorable to see Bucky turn into a bumbling mess. 
It had only been two weeks into quarantine when they had kissed, so they unfortunately still had to go to classes. Of course, no one else knew about it but their friends, but Bucky wanted to yell it to the world, thus having him proclaim, “I kissed Y/N L/N!” in their physics class, which disturbed Mr. Fury, but he congratulated them nonetheless. Yeah, there was non stop teasing from their classmates after that. 
The weeks kept rolling by, and soon enough, they had a week off of school for spring break, when Bucky took his best girl on a date. The two claimed to be in a relationship, but after Sam pointed out that Bucky had never actually asked Y/N out on a first date, he panicked. With the help of her parents, he managed to pull off a date at Prospect Park, right by the big lake. Bucky had insisted on being a “proper gentleman” like his mama has taught him, and went so far as to pick Y/N up from the front door, which her parents swore was the cutest thing they had ever seen. He made his mom’s old pumpkin pancake recipe, and they had breakfast for lunch, sitting in the grass, just talking for hours, and trying to refrain from removing their masks so they could make out with each other. Once it had finally hit evening, they walked hand in hand on the way back to her house and spent the rest of the night watching movies and cuddling.
After that, the duo wanted to spend the rest of spring break catching up on sleep that they had missed, but Y/N’s mom forced them to wake up at eight in the morning every day that week to get exercise. Neither of them were pleased. However, as much as they disliked the exercise, it gave them a chance to be alone. Y/N and Bucky went on tons of walks around Brooklyn, strolling down memory lane as they found someplace that they had forgotten about from when they were younger. It was nice for the two of them to just talk about their futures and how much the virus would affect it. 
Spring break was unwillingly coming to an end, but Mr. L/N refused to let either one of the students be seen in online classes until they had cut their hair. Sure, it was only mid-April, but Bucky’s hair had turned into a messy flop of brown hair that fell just past his ears. While Y/N opted to cut her hair herself(which resulted in a choppy, uneven cut that Bucky and her family made fun of), Bucky asked Y/N to cut it for him.
“Are you sure, Buck?” She chided. “You saw how mine came out, and you make fun of it, yet you still ask me to do it?”
The messy-haired boy sat in a chair in the bathtub, in just his boxers, holding a spray bottle of water. “Y/N, your hair may look like shit,” he grinned at her face of mock offense, “But I trust you completely with mine. Plus, you’ll actually be looking at it while you cut.”
“I was looking when I did my hair!” Y/N argued.
Bucky laughed at her exasperation. “If you were looking in the mirror while cutting that, it makes it so much more sad.” She scoffed at his witty comeback and snipped off a piece of his hair. “Hey, give me a warning!”
“Sorry, baby,” she giggled. “Are you ready now?” With a deep exhale and nod of his head, Y/N took the spray bottle from his hands and began to dampen his hair. It didn’t take too long, just a few quick snips by the base of his neck, and she considered it done, and a hell of a lot less scruffy looking. She had spent her last day of break looking at styles and instructions on how to cut hair on Pinterest, and while she knew she wasn’t a professional, she thought she did pretty damn well.
“Okay, Buck, you can look now.” Y/N handed him a small compact mirror, and he dramatically squeezed his eyes shut. Rolling her eyes at his reaction, she said, “Come on, quit being a drama queen. I think you look very handsome.”
Finally, Bucky opened his eyes and looked at his shorter cut. She was right, it didn’t look too bad, and he looked less “homeless” as her father had called it. Running a hand through his freshly cut hair, he grinned, but stopped after taking in her words. “Was I not handsome before, doll?” He wore a small frown on his face, which Y/N kissed off.
“Buck, you’re always handsome, don’t be silly.”
He smirked and pulled her onto his lap. “I know.”
She leaned her head down on his shoulder and whispered, “Cocky bastard.” He delivered a pinch to her hip, which made her yelp. Grinning, he kissed her and she turned in his lap to straddle him. Her hands slipped into his freshly cut hair and tugged, making him moan a little into her parted lips. During their make out, however, they didn’t hear the footsteps of Mrs. L/N, and only looked up when they heard her groan. 
“Good lord, can you two not keep your hands off of each other for five goddamn seconds?” Y/N quickly got up from Bucky’s lap under her mom’s careful watch. “Ria is on the phone, right now, but I’ll tell her to call back.”
At the mention of her older sister, Y/N jumped out of the bathtub. “No! No, I'm here, let me talk to her!” She scrambled to get to the phone, but slipped on the bath mat and landed on the tile with an “oof”. Bucky, being the protective boyfriend he was, immediately got up and ran to her.
“Are you okay, doll?” Her nose was a little red from bumping it on the ground, but she grinned nonetheless. Ria’s laughter could be heard over the phone, and her mom was trying very hard to stifle her laughter. With a quick nod, she took Bucky’s hand and got up.
“I’m great! Ria, you’re a little shit.” The girl stalked over to the phone and started talking and squabbling animatedly with her sister on the call. 
Bucky and Mrs. L/N took one look at each other and started cracking up together. She pulled him into a hug, and whispered, “You make her so happy, Bucky. Thank you so much.”
He looked up to this mother figure of his and shook his head. “No. Thank you, Mrs. L/N, for being so happy for us. To be honest, I didn’t think you or Mr. L/N would be too happy ‘cuz of my father.”
The older woman frowned at Bucky and looked at him dead in the eyes. “You have nothing to feel guilty about, Bucky. Your father doesn’t define you as a person and trust me, James, you are the best kid that I know. You take good care of your little sister and all who you love, and every day I think about how lucky your mother was that she got to have a kid like you.”
Bucky’s eyes started to fill with tears, but he managed to whisper out a “thank you” with a croaky voice. Dropping a kiss to his forehead, Mrs. L/N walked away, leaving him with a sad smile on his face until Y/N popped her head back into the bathroom.
“Buck! Ria wants to talk to us both! She misses you a ton.” He wiped the tears from his eyes, which Y/N noticed, but didn’t mention, and went to grab his hand to walk to her bedroom and talk to Ria.
School started again the next day, leaving the six students in their friend group complaining and nearly on the verge of crying within the first two classes. They didn’t have finals this year, but teachers still assigned them “tests”, which really were the same thing with a different name. 
As it grew closer and closer to the end of the year, it became hotter and hotter, Y/N and Bucky becoming sweaty messes in their study rooms. One particular early May afternoon, Y/N sat in her bedroom, waiting for her play rehearsal to start. This year, they were (going) to put on a production of Steve Martin’s Picasso at the Lapin Agile. She was cast as Freddy, the local Parisian bartender, so she was working on her accent with her lines from her script.
“Yeah, well, we're all writers, aren't we? He's a writer that hasn't been published, and I'm a writer who hasn't written anything.” Y/N spoke loudly. From behind her, she heard a booming laugh.
Bucky stood in her doorway, grinning, no shirt on due to the blaring hot weather. “If that was your French accent, then you definitely need to keep working on it.”
He walked into the room, swooping down to place a kiss on Y/N’s awaiting lips. His arms would’ve wrapped themselves around her shoulders, but she quickly pushed him back. Chucking at his frowning expression, she said, “It is way too hot to be hugging me right now, but we can settle for a romantic high five.”
“A what?” 
She sighed like it was the most obvious thing. “Well, as much as I would love to, I cannot hug you right now because it’s too hot. What I can offer you, however, is a romantic high five. A high five that says, we’re not just friends, but we’ve been dating for about a month and it’s not just platonic.”
Amused expression on his face, he plopped himself down on her bed. “And how would one share a ‘romantic high five’ with their ridiculously beautiful girlfriend?” Grinning, she walked over to him and gave him a high five while kissing him. He smiled against her lips, and asked, “Like that?”
With one more peck, she sat back in her seat and picked up her phone. “Exactly like that.” They were fools who were completely, and utterly in love with each other, though neither of them had said it to the other yet. Lovesick smiles painted on their faces, they both sat staring at each other until Mrs. L/N suddenly broke into the room, wide eyes teary and a frown on her face. Both of the kids looked to each other, then at the mom. 
“Mom, what is it?” It was concerning for Y/N to see her mom in this panicked state, considering that her mom was well put together, and she had only seen her break down on a few occasions. 
She turned to Bucky, and with a small voice, said, “It's your father, Bucky. He’s gotten into a crash.”
Silence.
That was all that was left in the room. When Bucky’s heartbeat stopped pounding, he could hear his harsh breathing and see Y/N in front of him, her hand covering his heart. “James, can you hear me? You passed out.” Her hand moved to his cheek to wipe off tears he hadn’t even known were falling. “My mom’s getting Becca into the car so we can go to the hospital, though I told her you might not want to go right now. He’s going to be in surgery for the next few hours, but it’s whatever you need, okay, James? Whatever you need.”
He sat up, grabbing Y/N’s hands and squeezing on to them tight. “I want to go.” Though Bucky was worried, he pulled himself together on the outside. Goddamn it, Barnes, he thought, pull yourself the fuck together. He knew he was being too harsh on himself, but it was part of his nature, and he couldn’t get rid of the nagging voice in his head telling him to do better. “I’ll go put a shirt on and meet you guys in the car. Do your parents have masks?” Y/N nodded, tears in her eyes, and placed a featherlight kiss to his forehead before he left.
He grabbed a hoodie from the guest room, and turned to leave, but saw Becca’s baby animal book. It had been his before, something his mom would read to him to calm him down, and he saw it as his comfort object. Snagging it from the bedside table, he ran through the halls and out the door, where he saw Mr. and Mrs. L/N sitting in the front, and Y/N waiting for him with the car door open on the left side. He and Y/N climbed into the back seat and strapped themselves in, trapping Becca in her car seat in between the two teens. 
Becca’s pretty blue eyes were teary, and she whimpered quietly, almost as if she knew what was going on around her. She was just one year old, still so innocent, and wasn’t even aware that her father never looked after her, or beat her mother before she had died giving birth to her. Bucky grabbed onto her foot softly, an action that consoled Becca’s quiet cries. 
The car rumbled beneath them, and Y/N looked over to Bucky on the other side of the car. His face was stoic, staring out of the window with a sheen of calm surrounding him. His eyes weren’t teary anymore, but she could see the storm that was brewing beneath them. She knew that he was worrying a lot, his thoughts probably a jumbled mess of negativity, and underlying guilt. It wasn’t his fault, not even close, but she knew for a fact he was blaming himself anyway. She reached over to lay her palm over the hand that was holding Becca’s foot, and Bucky looked over to Y/N’s eyes, and gave her a small, sad smile. 
The rest of the car ride was silent, Y/N’s parents choosing to say nothing, knowing that Bucky didn’t want to talk. He would always get closed off with his emotions during hard times, and it took him a very long time to open up about his feelings. When the New York-Presbyterian Brooklyn Methodist Hospital came into view, Bucky’s heart started to beat at an alarming rate. 
“Y/N, Bucky, how about we drop you off at the front, okay? Tell them that you are his son, they’ll help you.” Y/N’s mom was facing them, trying to remain calm. Bucky nodded, and when they pulled up to the front, the two students worked together to get Becca out of her seat and jump out of the car. Y/N hoisted the small baby up onto her hip as Bucky grabbed her hand and led them inside the doors. 
The light was an unnatural blinding white, and people surrounded the waiting room with masks on. There were people sleeping, people tapping their feet nervously, and people looking like they would love nothing more than to get out of the room. Briskly, the two marched up to the reception desk. Surprisingly, it was Bucky who spoke up.
“Excuse me, ma’am, my name is James Barnes, I’m the son of George Barnes, and I believe he’s in surgery right now. His contacts are the same for all of us, and I think you called a Mary L/N to inform us of the accident.”
The pretty blonde at the desk looked surprised at the straightforward greeting from the young boy, but she just adjusted her mask over her nose a bit more and nodded. After a few seconds of typing, she turned to the side and grabbed a file of paperwork. “Hi James, my name is Tina, and I’m a nurse here. Your dad is going to be in surgery for about an hour more I believe, but here’s the paperwork that you or Mrs. L/N are going to need to fill out. If you have any questions, you can come ask me.”
With a quick thank you to Tina, the three children went to go sit in the back of the waiting room, where a small cluster of seats stood. Y/N texted her mom to let her parents know that they had made it inside quickly while Bucky started filling out the forms. “Wait, Y/N, can you ask your mom to bring the book that’s sitting in the backseat?” 
He knew it was trivial, but he really needed that book. Y/N could see the pleading in his eyes, and nodded without question. She would have to ask him later. “Of course, James.” She always called him James during serious moments, knowing that it was what his mom called him, and it soothed him a lot. He continued to fill out the information he knew on the papers. About ten minutes later, Mr. and Mrs. L/N came in, masks on and book in hand from the parking lot. There was only one seat left, so Mr. L/N let his wife sit as he stood and looked around the area. 
It was surprisingly very quiet for the next hour and a half. Bucky had finished the paperwork with the help of Mrs. L/N within thirty minutes, but he spent the rest of his time assuring Steve’s family he was okay on a phone call and reading the baby book to Becca over and over again. 
“Not a hot dog; my hot dog.” Bucky spoke in a higher pitched voice than normal. He was always gentle with his little sister, wanting her to know that he was a calming, caring presence in comparison to his loud father. Becca pointed to the pigeon holding a hot dog on the page, giggling and spouting nonsensical baby gurgles. 
Y/N smiled at the two, and closed her eyes while listening to Bucky read the children’s book. Though he had read it numerous times in their time in the waiting room, his soothing voice just lulled her to sleep even more. She hummed a song under her breath, and let sleep take over her. 
“Mary L/N! Is there a Mary L/N in here?” A nurse dressed in baby blue scrubs and a mask entered the waiting room and Bucky shot out of his chair. Y/N rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and brought Becca closer to her chest. As Y/N’s mom raised her hand, the nurse walked towards them. “Can I talk to you alone please?”
Bucky and Y/N looked at each other with confusion written on their faces, but Mrs. L/N answered the kind nurse before Bucky could open his mouth. “Of course, lead the way.”
He knew what this meant. There was no other reason that the nurse would ask to speak to the parent alone, and his heartbeat started speeding up again. A lump rose in his throat, and he was barely able to say, “Can I hold my sister please?” Y/N nodded, knowing what the nurse and her mom were talking about as well. She handed the now quiet baby over to his shaking hands, and looked into his eyes. 
They didn’t even shed a tear.
Bucky could barely remember walking down the white hallways, turning the corner, taking deep breaths and holding onto Mrs. L/N’s hand. Y/N and her dad weren’t allowed in, as they were trying to keep as low of a number as possible inside the room, so he didn’t have the comfort of his girlfriend being there with him as he faced one of his greatest fears. 
The room was quiet when they entered, another nurse and a doctor standing at the foot of the bed where George Barnes lay. His eyes were shut from what Bucky could see, but his head was bruised and covered in a bandage, most likely covering a shaved head and gaudy scars. “He was drunk, James, he didn’t have control, and the other car didn’t see him either. He had serious trauma to the head, and a broken wrist when he entered surgery. George was in critical condition when he was brought in, but he died in surgery. I’m sorry.”
Bucky managed to nod numbly and look down at his dad. He didn’t know what to say to him. “We’ll give you a few minutes alone.” The nurses and doctor shuffled out of the room and Mrs. L/N placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder.  
“Do you want me to leave, James?” Again, he softly nodded without a word and didn’t look up as her footsteps echoed away in the empty room. Bucky secured his arms around Becca better as he walked over to take his father’s cold hand.
Bucky could only hear his heartbeat, as all the monitors were off. Even his little sister was quiet, her small squirms nonexistent. He took a few deep breaths through his mouth,and let them out through his nose. His blue eyes focused on his father’s hands, ones that used to bring him so much pain and suffering, that now laid limp and still. Finally, Bucky let out the three words that he had never heard back from his father. 
“I love you.” Pause. Becca started moving around again, but he shushed her gently. “I think that’s all that needs to be said. Goodbye.”
He placed a soft kiss on his dad’s temple, and left quickly. As soon as he opened the door, he pushed past all the people waiting for them to be done and made his way back to Y/N in the waiting room. He could hear the doctor calling his name after, but Mrs. L/N must have stopped him because he stopped hearing it after a while. Y/N stood up when she saw Bucky, but he silently grabbed her hand and led them outside. Glancing over her shoulder, she shooed her dad away, and followed him outside.
She didn’t speak until they were back in the car. They had walked around for a while, realizing they didn’t know where it was. Settling into their seats, Y/N took the bottle of hand sanitizer from the front seat cup holder and squeezed some into both of their hands. “Are you okay, James?” 
He looked at her with a straight face. “Yeah.” She frowned with his short answer, but she knew he wasn’t telling the whole truth.
“Bucky, you know it’s okay to cry, it’s just me here. It’s okay to let your emotions out sometimes. You can talk to me, like always.” She reached over to take his hand, but he moved it away. She knew it was just part of what he was feeling, but she couldn’t help but to feel hurt either way. 
“I don’t need to let my emotions out, I’m fine,” he responded in a clipped voice. Y/N nodded softly and placed her hand on Becca’s foot, wondering what had happened. Sure, Bucky had had times where he wouldn’t talk to anyone, but eventually she would always be able to get to the bottom of it and support him. This new, closed off feeling from him was different for her, and she didn’t know what had gone wrong. It was quiet for the next twenty minutes as they waited for Y/N’s parents, and even then they barely spoke. As soon as they got back to the house in Brooklyn Heights, Bucky took Becca and immediately went to their room. Y/N let out a dejected sigh and started to head to her room to email the director of her play, when her mom stopped her. 
“Honey, give him some time, okay? He’s just lost his father, and I know that he doesn’t like to talk about his feelings, but it’s different now. Both of his parents have passed, and it’s a really big change for him.” She brought her daughter into a hug and dropped a kiss on her cheek before retiring to her room. Y/N walked into her room, flopping on her bed, quiet tears for her boyfriend rolling down her face.
Bucky didn’t attend dinner that night, which was okay with the rest of them. Y/N was still having a hard time not going to his room and smothering him in sweet nothings and hugs, but she understood that he needed time to process the past few hours. Her mom was right: it was a huge change. He was now orphaned, and only fifteen. Eventually, he’d need new guardians, and none of his close family was alive, and his other relatives from Romania probably had no clue he existed.
At around one in the morning, when Y/N’s parents had fallen asleep, Y/N crept out of her room quietly to check on Bucky. The door creaked a bit when it opened, giving her a view of her boyfriend sitting cross-legged on the bed, shoulders shaking from his silent sobs. He looked up upon hearing the door open, and wiped his tears off as fast as he could. “Hey, doll.”
She didn’t say anything but simply pushed him back down onto the bed gently and wrapped her arms around him. It took a few seconds, but the tears started falling again, his crying quiet. Y/N just held him for a few minutes, as he let out his tears, and rubbed his chest soothingly. When he was done, he kissed her gently and said, “Thank you.” It took another few moments, but he started talking soon enough. “I shouldn’t be sad. Right? I mean, he’s the man who hit me and my ma relentlessly, and all my life has been nothing but hell because of him. I should be fucking celebrating right now. Right?”
His watery blue eyes stared into hers, and she sighed, taking Bucky’s hands and bringing them to a sitting position. “I think it makes sense.” Y/N whispered.
Makes sense? It made no sense to him. “How can you say that?” He questioned incredulously. “This man treated us like shit, he blamed Becca for my mom’s death, he would hit me, tell me I’m not good enough,and I still worked my ass off for him. He didn’t love us! And after all the shit he put us through, put me through, why do I still care? Why do I still love him? It doesn't make sense.” Hot tears slipped down his face again, as he whispered, “It doesn’t make sense.”
He started to cry again, and Y/N pulled his head into the crook of her neck as his arms latched like vices around her torso. Running her fingers through his short brown hair, she said, “It may not make sense to you, but no matter what, as horrible as he was, that man is still your father. What he did to you was evil, pure evil, it truly was, but I can understand why after everything you’ve been through, you still love him. It doesn’t make you less of a man or weak. It makes you stronger, and I can’t be more proud of the person you’ve become since I met you. You have nothing to feel sorry for, James Buchanan Barnes. This is not your fault. None of this is.”
She moved her lips to his, and they moved against each other languidly. “I love you, James.”
His eyes opened, and hers watered up at her confession. “I love you too, Y/N.” They brought their lips together again, her thumbs rubbing small circles onto his cheekbones as they breathed each other in. When they finally pulled away, Bucky had the smallest of smiles playing across his lips. “Thank you, Y/N.”
Y/N made sure Bucky was staring at her directly, and she spoke with a firm voice. “Whatever comes next, we’ll get through it together. I promise, James.” Pressing his lips against hers one more time, he grabbed his phone off the stand and started to swipe through it. “Are you okay, Buck? You need anything? We can talk more if you need.”
Opening Spotify, he opened his “Slow Dance with Y/N” playlist. “I Can’t Believe That You’re In Love With Me” by Billie Holiday started playing, and Y/N knew exactly what he was doing. Bucky had had the playlist since the sixth grade, when he first bought his phone with the money he earned from babysitting, and the pair had danced to it numerous times before he had started dating Dot. But he didn’t even play that with her. No, this one was for his best girl, no matter what. Y/N was too special to share with anyone. Offering her his left hand with a shy grin, Y/N smiled big with an eye roll and graciously accepted it.
“Oldies music again, Bucky?” She was teasing him, and he knew it as well. Y/N absolutely adored this playlist, that he made just for the two of them, with her entire heart. Pulling her flush against his chest, his right hand coming to rest on her waist, he kissed her hair lightly.
“Well, you have always called me old fashioned, sweetheart.” He twirled her around, her giggling as they danced around the room. Becca slept soundly in the crib and the moonlight illuminated their faces. “I think this song fits in well right now.”
Y/N sighed, letting her eyes close. “It really does.” After a few seconds, she remembered her previous question that had gone unanswered and asked again. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about anything else, Buck?”
“I think I’m done, doll. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Just wanna dance with you.”
And he did, softly dancing barefoot, with the occasional twirl, until falling asleep hours later. When Y/N’s parents came to check in on them the next morning, they smiled seeing their daughter and the boy she loved so dearly wrapped around each other, quiet snores escaping the both of them.
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