#I do not spend enough time on the others. especially online. but I will do better :)

[aliwritex]

dad!franco headcanons 💐

Before the baby was born, when the furniture for the nursery started arriving he insisted on putting it together himself because he was ‘totally capable of doing so’. And you believed him, but he had a flaw, he never actually read the instructions, only quickly looked at the pictures and guessed it was enough. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. “what happened? i thought you were almost done” you were surprised to see multiple parts of the crib back on the floor “i used the wrong screw, so i was missing some long ones, so i had to got back to get them” “leave it be for tonight, yeah? i’ll help you with it tomorrow” The next morning everything went smoothly as you actually read the steps and organized the different screws and parts by numbers.

You enjoyed being pregnant more than you thought you would, because of your active lifestyle and young age pregnancy was very easy on you. And most of your days were spent on walks, pilates classes and buying. Almost every day you were doing deep research on the best products of each category and online shopping. Especially if Franco wasn’t home, it was the best way to spend time and feel less lonely. You would always call him when things arrived, showing him everything and putting it away in the nursery.

Franco cried way more than you expected when your son was born. Maybe it was because of the exhaustion of being awake with you for 13 hours of labor, maybe he was just very emotional. You were in a bubble for a second when they finally handed you the baby — and it was a short second because you still had more to deliver. But as soon as you were all cleaned up, taken care of and sound asleep Franco turned his full attention to the baby. When you woke up he was humming and the baby was sleeping in his bare chest, only a blanket covering their bodies. “i love you two” you whispered to them

Nothing made Teo happier than seeing his dad come home from work. He was always all smiles when Franco walked through the door or waking up to him when he got home in the middle of the night. “hey” you whispered into the dark nursery “you didn’t need to get up, i got home just in time for his bottle” “thank you, my love, but i’ll take it from here, you go shower so we can go back to sleep” you’d be too tired by the time he was done to say anything about him sneaking Mateo in the bed with you.

Your favorite thing in the world was seeing them sleeping together. It seemed that your boyfriend had magical arms because no matter how fussy or upset Teo was, the second Franco picked him up it was like he couldn’t keep his eyes open, bonus points for chupi and blankie. That’s what you missed the most when he was away, you didn’t have the same patience if Teo was throwing a tantrum to skip his nap times or pushback bed time. You never understood what was so magical about Papa’s chest that made him fall asleep in minutes, if anything you were supposed to be more comfortable – you had two natural pillows! “¡Papa!” your son whined and ran from you when he heard the front door open. “¿que pasa, mi amor?” he picked him up and the crying stopped almost immediately but as Franco made his way in he realized the boy wasn’t the only one crying “vida? what’s wrong? what happened?” he asked but you just buried your face on his other shoulder, letting your tears soak up his shirt. “i’m sorry, ‘t’s nothing, let me take him” “what? no. what the fuck happened here?” he asked calmly “what are you even sorry for?” “not being enough for him, for you. god, i’ve been wrestling him to go to bed for so long, then you get here and boom, he’s out. i just didn’t know what to do anymore” he heard your confession and hugged you tighter, rubbing his palm on your back. “you could’ve called me. i’ll be back in a second. always call me if it gets too much” he kissed the top of your head.

When Franco was home he was in charge of putting Mateo down for his morning nap while you cooked lunch. This one monday though, he had just gotten home a couple hours before but insisted on following your routine, so he sat on the couch with his son, arm wrapped around him to support the bottle in his mouth. Franco was the one to fall asleep instead of the child, who slipped from his dads hold. When he woke up you were standing in front of him, taking a picture of his sticker covered face. “I told you I could put him down if you were too tired” you said, taking the bottle from his hand — that had spilled all over your decorative pillows. “Did he sleep?” you chuckled and pointed to the floor, where your son slept hugging his favorite stuffed animal.

[diredeliverance]

Self soothing.

This is a sketch that I drew ages ago and never posted because I had some apprehension about how it could be interpreted, but I'm not as worried about that anymore. I think it's not that hard to understand it's not a literal, physical interaction, so it's okay. It had another it was paired with, but that has some things that actually do need a little cleanup before I'd ever consider posting.

[flamagenitus]

I dropped worm in like 2018 bc I got to a bit that was so so so combat-dense and I'd basically been relying on my temporary obsession with the personal narrative to carry me through the whole thing. However, I just came into some fascinating spoilers, so here we go again!

[obsessivevoidkitten]

Dear Brother

Kinktober Day 14: Incest Yandere brother x male reader CW: Incest, noncon, memory alteration, mind manipulation, possessive yandere, protective yandere, general yandere behavior, versatile reader, anal sex, drugging, sedatives, aphrodisiacs, collaring, murder, Stockholm syndrome, major character death, reader's own cum as lube, masturbation, discrimination against those without powers, dead dove: DO NOT EAT Word Count: 3.8k (This is dark. Sorry for any errors, I did not have it betaread. I hope there are some who will enjoy this.)

The meteor that crashed to the ground generations ago came with it a particularly invasive pathogen. A virus that infected all of humanity, changing the DNA of everyone on Earth, though a large portion of people remained asymptomatic with recessive changes.

Those with symptoms displayed mutations. They varied wildly from animal traits, elemental powers, enhanced strength, super speed, extra limbs, and many others.

Over many years, the DNA that the virus altered became increasingly prominent as mutations were inherited and compounded. Asymptomatics were rarer and rarer. Currently, they made up only 15 percent of the population.

A small portion of people used their extra human abilities for evil, and others became government sanctioned heroes to fight them.

The people who had mutations become highly sought after and fetishized. More laws came into effect to protect them from villains and criminals who would traffic them.

You were a mutationless nobody living in this society.

A brand new law had established a curfew for all people without strong enough mutations. They couldn't go out unless someone with a strong ability was with them.

Another law was that those with no abilities couldn't live alone.

Because of this, you became wholly dependent on your older brother, Drew.

Your older sibling was entirely fine with this arrangement. He had a love for you that wasn't entirely brotherly, though you didn't suspect anything. It seemed to you that his overprotective behavior was the product of being an older brother to someone without a mutation in a world that conditioned people to think of those like you as defenseless. You thought yourself fairly lucky. You weren't forced into an abusive or restrictive marriage or roommate situation because you had Drew. He was always happy to chaperone and escort you.

When he wasn't too busy with his work as a hero. Drew had moved the two of you to a small town due to a lower crime rate and desire to keep you safe and spend as much time with you as possible. It was also to isolate you from any potential suitors. But... you didn't really need to know about that... You had gotten too chummy with people online through various social media and dating websites who lived a bit too close for comfort in the large city you had lived in previously. It was getting burdensome finding them, intimidating them, burying more than one body when they wouldn't get the hint that you were spoken for. That had been rare, though.

If he really needed to, he could use a power no one knew he possessed. He could remove and replace memories. It was a tedious task, requiring a lot of time and energy, and not all minds were susceptible. Even if they were, it couldn't normally be used multiple times on the same person. Which is why he couldn't just make you forget or hate them. Luckily, most people were easily intimidated by Drew. He was tall and muscular, which was enough in some cases, but he also could move things with his mind and produce a psychic barrier around his skin to make him indestructible.

The quieter smaller town was kinda nice, but you were rather bored. Especially when Drew had to do his patrols. He made sure he worked more in the early morning and afternoon since you always liked to be up at night playing video games and going for walks at night with him. Sometimes, he'd take you out to eat at a 24/7 diner that the town had.

He thought of those outings as dates and considered himself to be courting his defenseless brother.

Your brother always ordered ice cream for you to share. Drew loved to watch you eat it, sometimes biting his lip as you so lewdly licked the cold confection from your spoon. It made his cock twitch in his pants. How he wished you were licking his manhood like that. Eager to get every drop of his cum.

The last time you were at the diner you had caught him staring at you with an odd expression.

"What's with that weird face?"

"Oh, uh... I just had a brain freeze."

You had chuckled at him and went back to eating. How he longed for the day when he could tell you how he really loved you. Hopefully it would be soon, but he just didn't know how to broach the topic.

He had let you walk in on him wanking a few times. But all it achieved was you turning red and scrambling out of the room with an immediate apology followed by you pretending that nothing had occurred. Nothing like the pornos.

The other day, you had been comfortable enough to fall asleep on the couch as the two of you watched a movie. He had been admiring your peacefully sleeping form when you slouched over and leaned on his shoulder. He could hear your breathing and felt your drool as it ran down his arm.

It gave him an instant hard-on that he had to address. You had been a busy bee and cleaned the whole house earlier before cooking dinner. You were totally wiped out. Though even on an easy day, you were known for sleeping deeply. Drew carefully shifted the shorts he had been wearing so his large cock was sticking out through the leg and cautiously jerked himself off while imaging you cuddling and clinging to him after a long day.

He had cum so hard that a bit had landed on your lips. He was worried you would wake up, but you remained out like a light as he gently massaged it into your lip like lip gloss.

After that, he had "accidentally" fallen asleep right beside you. He couldn't very well wake a sleeping angel by moving.

That had been well over a month ago, and his desire for you had only grown. He had taken to stealing your underwear and keeping a pair under his pillows so he could sniff them before bed and dream about you.

He knew one day soon he'd have you in every way.

But there was a setback.

His schedule had shifted temporarily while he was on an assignment to help take down a super villain coalition. For two weeks, he was barely home at all, and a vermin had slipped in.

He came home one day to find you on the porch chatting with some piece of absolute filth who kept brushing his hand against yours.

When he left and you came back inside, Drew was holding back serious rage. You had a look on your face that told him all you needed to know. He didn't even have to question you about who it was. You just kept gushing about him.

"That was Len! He's such a sweetie! He saw me on the porch a few days ago when he was walking by and noticed I was glum."

The way you swooned and gushed made Drew's stomach lurch.

"He's so cool! I'm sure you'll like him. He isn't a hero, but his mutation is awesome. He can spontaneously make fire."

Drew noticed you twiddling your fingers in the way you only did when you were brimming with joy. Would that piece of trash know details like that about you!?

Your brother immediately began planning for Len's demise. This was beyond intimidation, threats, and memory alteration. He lived far too close and touched your perfect weak hands with his disgusting grubby ones. Drew knew exactly how he'd do it. He'd infiltrate Len's home and use his telekinetic abilities to cause him to have a stroke. Then he'd burn the house down. It wasn't unheard of for people's mutations to run out of control.

On the night that Drew planned to end Len, you had been texting Len. Even though it was late, he had invited you over because he was playing a new game that he thought you might enjoy together. If you wanted, he'd leave the door unlocked so you could come in. He knew knocking and waiting made you anxious.

He was such a good listener. He would have come over and walked with you, but it was such a short walk, and you didn't want to wake up Drew. Besides, his house was just a few down from yours. If you ran, you could be there in under a minute. And, honestly, no one took these curfew laws seriously in small towns.

You rushed over as fast as you could and nervously opened the door and stepped inside.

"Dr-Drew? What are you-?"

The question was left unfinished as your gaze lowered to Len laying motionless at your brother's feet. Drew's eyes went wide, and his mouth agape when he noticed you. He obviously had not expected you to walk in on his activities. This was just like when you had just turned 20 and you had caught him killing your parents because they had wanted to convince you to go to an isolated island for the mutationless because they wanted you to feel normal.

He had wiped the events from your brain, made you think they had abandoned you both long ago, and finished by making you think he was the older brother so you'd accept him taking care of you a bit more easily when in reality he was a year younger.

But unlike last time, he couldn't erase Len or what you had witnessed. After doing it once, and so extensively, you were inoculated from it.

Your mind was reeling, struggling to piece together an explanation for what you were seeing. You took a few steps back, planning to just run away and hope you woke up from whatever awful nightmare this night was shaping into. But the door slammed shut before you could finish turning around.

"Y-you have to understand! He was going to steal you away... He didn't deserve you. No one does! Except me."

Drew used his abilities to make you slowly float towards him. The look on his face could only be described as deranged.

"I'm so sorry you had to see this. It was supposed to look like an accident..."

You squirmed in his psychic hold as you began sobbing. Your brain finally registered that your brother killed the man you had started to fall in love with. Nothing made sense.

Once his power brought you to him, he wrapped one arm around you tightly and used his free hand to pull a tiny spray capsule up to your face from his utility belt.

He spritzed you just once, and within a few seconds, you were fast asleep. With you taken care of for the moment, Drew could safely get back to the business at hand.

Your subconscious mind must have still been in denial because you found yourself in a dream pounding Len's muscular ass. He was riding you, and you found yourself bucking into his tight hot hole. In reality, your brother had been watching you sleep and decided to rub your crotch. He figured you needed the stress relief, and if you woke up, maybe the pleasure would prove he was just trying to make you happy.

It made sense in his warped mind.

He was originally just going to jerk you off, but when you got fully hard under his touch... he couldn't resist the urge to ride on it. Drew lubed it up and sank himself down on it. This was perfect, he thought. Your first official act as lovers. It would definitely make you forget about that sack of garbage he just took out.

The look on your face as you drooled in your sleep and let out little lewd gasps went straight to his dick and had him cumming in no time. He briefly lifted off of your cock long enough to smear his semen on it before lowering himself again.

You were fucking his cum into him and it would be mixed with your own once you climaxed. The thought made his stomach flutter as blush crept across his face.

Drew knew you were close, your moans had gotten louder and you had started bucking your hips into him. He was amazed you hadn't woken up yet. Though you had always been a deep sleeper and the stuff he sprayed you with was pretty heavy duty. Your eyes fluttered open as you shot your load inside him and moaned out the name Len.

L e n.

It was exactly the wrong thing to say. Your brother, who had never raised a hand to you, slapped you hard across the face.

"That loser is DEAD!! Len is a fucking corpse smoldering in the ashes of his house!"

You were shaking as you stared up at him, still confused about what was going on. Your brain was full of fog and struggled to piece together the events that transpired last night and the fact that your brother was on your dick and angrily yelling in your face.

When he realized the fear in your eyes, he got off of you and pulled you close.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I know it's not your fault. You're so innocent, and he wormed his way into your mind like the greedy parasite he was."

He kissed your cheek gently where he had struck you.

"Just... try not to say his name, okay? You gotta forget about him. It isn't healthy to linger on toxic people like that."

He got up and made his way to the bathroom connected to his room.

"I bet a bath will make us both feel a little more relaxed."

You were pretty sure that you would never be relaxed again for the rest of your life. Your brother was a villain and you had no idea what he was capable of doing to you. The sibling you had depended on killed Len, forced himself on you while you were sleeping, and slapped you.

Since he was busy making a bath, you thought you'd take the chance to leave. You pulled up your pants and crept past the bedroom door and down the stairs. When you reached the bottom, you stared in dismay at the blockade he had put in front of the door. There was no other choice but to turn around. But as you did so you slammed right into the chest of your sibling, who was staring down at you darkly.

"I just came downstairs for a sn-snack."

You were trembling and hoped he bought it. You knew he had when his face softened.

"Oh, well after our bath I'll make us a late night snack."

He grabbed you by the hand and led you back upstairs.

"This will be our first bath together! I'm really excited."

The last thing you wanted to do was to bathe with this monster. But there was no escaping it.

"Haha I guess I'm excited in more than one way!"

You glanced over and saw what he meant. His cock was fully erect.

"I-I'm too shy to bathe together!"

"Don't be silly! We're lovers now and we both really need this."

He picked you up like you weighed nothing and took you into the tub with him. He sat down and positioned you on his lap facing towards him. His erection jabbed at you from below. It made you cringe and curl in on yourself.

Despite the bubbles and warm water, you had never felt so filthy.

"You're still so tense, but big bro will make everything better~"

He groped and massaged your ass before starting to rub your hole. You flinched.

"You have to relax to make this easier."

Eventually, he pressed a finger into you.

"Please sto-"

You were cut off by involuntarily moaning as he hit a special spot inside you.

"Oh, you liked that, didn't you? Made you sound so needy~"

As he kept attending to that place inside you, working his way up to three fingers, your mind got more clouded and distracted, and your body went limp and relaxed.

"Sto-ahhh AAAHHHH!!"

Your hole clenched tightly as you spilled your load on his chest.

Before you could catch your breath he slowly replaced his fingers with his cock. Careful not to hurt you as he slowly eased you down on his entire length.

You were already hard again despite being so sensitive. His hard cock entered you with a bit of pain despite the previous stretching.

For Drew, it was bliss. Heaven. His cock was wrapped in the warm paradise that was his beloved brother. Finally, he was with you in the way his heart yearned to be. He should have just done this the second the two of you had moved out here.

The slight bit of pain you had initially felt faded at the feeling of him battering your insides. His tip perfectly kissed that spot inside you, your resolve being fucked away with each thrust.

Drew moaned your name as he came in you all too soon.

"My cum is in you. My cum is in you. My cum is in you. Mycumisinyou."

He never lost his hard on and kept right on making love to you, his precious brother, without stopping for a second. As his movements intensified, the lavender scented water splashed against the two of you.

"I-I knew I could make it all better!"

You prattled on incoherently as drool pooled from the corner of your mouth.

"You're right. We should let our actions do the talking"

Drews lips dominated yours as he kissed you deeply, nibbling on your lower lip and licking up your drool as he made out with you. As both of you came once more, he slid his tongue into your mouth and rubbed it against yours.

He pulled away and kissed your forehead. Your brain was foggy, and your body was exhausted after all you had been made to endure.

"I guess I should clean us up before the water goes completely cold. Don't worry, we can do that some more after we've rested up, okay?"

You muttered something, but you didn't know what you were saying or even what you were responding to.

That didn't stop Drew from hearing whatever he wanted to though.

"Yeah, we can still make out in bed before we fall asleep!"

Drew cleaned you off then sat you down on his bed after dressing you. Then he ran downstairs and came back up with some cookies.

"You wanted a snack right?"

You nodded sheepishly and nibbled a few to maintain the lie you told earlier. When you finished you went to brush your teeth before bed.

You couldn't look at yourself in the mirror. You were ashamed you had let your brother violate you in such a manner. You were ashamed you were brushing your teeth like it was a normal night. Maybe you could escape or call for help when he was working. It was already early in the morning. His schedule had returned to normal, and he would be back to work in a few hours. You just had to play along and get into bed with him...

The trembling of your body didn't betray your fear, Drew just assumed you were cold and held you protectively under the blankets. He stroked your side gently. It would have been comforting before you knew he was a murderer. Now, it only made you tense. Though you did manage to grab a few moments of uneasy rest.

Upon waking, you realized you were oddly calm. Tranquil. When you had finally fallen asleep, he had sprayed you with another substance from his utility belt.

This time, it was just something heroes used to calm people down. Villains and sometimes people in shock. It was pretty harmless, so if he had to keep you mildly sedated with it, he could. Though he hoped he could adjust you to your new circumstances with it and then eventually wean you off. It made you a little calmer, happier, and more accepting of your situation.

You also found yourself collared. The inside was a soft fabric and the outside a rough material. It was locked to a long chain that was mounted to the wall. You could reach the restroom and the minifridge he had by his bed. A minifridge stocked with all your favorite snacks and cold meals, a mounted chain, a custom collar in your favorite color... How long had he planned for this possibility?

There was definitely anger and grief, but they felt much more muted than they should have been.

The first year or so as your brother's boyfriend was a bit messy. Despite the calming drug, you still had emotional outbursts and anxiety. But your brother understood. He wasn't going to abandon you just because you were a bit moody or said hurtful things sometimes.

He endured and the two of you got through. It didn't hurt that he had stockpiled illegal aphrodisiacs confiscated from human traffickers. They made a target especially horny for the first person who's DNA they were exposed to. Whenever he used it, you were hard and needy to the point of crying, and only his dick could make it any better.

It was a great breakthrough when your body finally got hard from his touch without the help of any drugs at all.

And then you started kissing him and leaning on your big strong brother whenever you got lonely from your isolation. He was the only person you were allowed to have any contact with, and the craving for touch became too unbearable.

Your broken mind slowly justified it and changed your perspective on how you saw Drew. The only other option was going insane.

He was just looking out for you and keeping you safe from evil people. It was all for your own good. He took care of all of your needs. Cuddled you, kept you safe, provided you with games and food, and he was always happy to give you his cock or hole whenever you needed it, even when he was tired from work. If you had trouble sleeping, he'd even gently slip his dick into you and rock you to sleep with the thrusts.

It had, at long last, gotten to the point where he could take you outside on dates again with no fear at all that you'd try to escape him. In fact, you'd cling to his arm for dear life no matter where you went.

Drew was so happy. Now everyone could see that you two were the perfect couple.

[tinystepsforward]

autocrattic (more matt shenanigans, not tumblr this time)

I am almost definitely not the right person for this writeup, but I'm closer than most people on here, so here goes! This is all open-source tech drama, and I take my time laying out the context, but the short version is: Matt tried to extort another company, who immediately posted receipts, and now he's refusing to log off again. The long version is... long.

If you don't need software context, scroll down/find the "ok tony that's enough. tell me what's actually happening" heading, or just go read the pink sections. Or look at this PDF.

the background

So. Matt's original Good Idea was starting WordPress with fellow developer Mike Little in 2003, which is free and open-source software (FOSS) that was originally just for blogging, but now powers lots of websites that do other things. In particular, Automattic acquired WooCommerce a long time ago, which is free online store software you can run on WordPress.

FOSS is... interesting. It's a world that ultimately is powered by people who believe deeply that information and resources should be free, but often have massive blind spots (for example, Wikipedia's consistently had issues with bias, since no amount of "anyone can edit" will overcome systemic bias in terms of who has time to edit or is not going to be driven away by the existing contributor culture). As with anything else that people spend thousands of hours doing online, there's drama. As with anything else that's technically free but can be monetized, there are:

Heaps of companies and solo developers who profit off WordPress themes, plugins, hosting, and other services;

Conflicts between volunteer contributors and for-profit contributors;

Annoying founders who get way too much credit for everything the project has become.

the WordPress ecosystem

A project as heavily used as WordPress (some double-digit percentage of the Internet uses WP. I refuse to believe it's the 43% that Matt claims it is, but it's a pretty large chunk) can't survive just on the spare hours of volunteers, especially in an increasingly monetised world where its users demand functional software, are less and less tech or FOSS literate, and its contributors have no fucking time to build things for that userbase.

Matt runs Automattic, which is a privately-traded, for-profit company. The free software is run by the WordPress Foundation, which is technically completely separate (wordpress.org). The main products Automattic offers are WordPress-related: WordPress.com, a host which was designed to be beginner-friendly; Jetpack, a suite of plugins which extend WordPress in a whole bunch of ways that may or may not make sense as one big product; WooCommerce, which I've already mentioned. There's also WordPress VIP, which is the fancy bespoke five-digit-plus option for enterprise customers. And there's Tumblr, if Matt ever succeeds in putting it on WordPress. (Every Tumblr or WordPress dev I know thinks that's fucking ridiculous and impossible. Automattic's hiring for it anyway.)

Automattic devotes a chunk of its employees toward developing Core, which is what people in the WordPress space call WordPress.org, the free software. This is part of an initiative called Five for the Future — 5% of your company's profits off WordPress should go back into making the project better. Many other companies don't do this.

There are lots of other companies in the space. GoDaddy, for example, barely gives back in any way (and also sucks). WP Engine is the company this drama is about. They don't really contribute to Core. They offer relatively expensive WordPress hosting, as well as providing a series of other WordPress-related products like LocalWP (local site development software), Advanced Custom Fields (the easiest way to set up advanced taxonomies and other fields when making new types of posts. If you don't know what this means don't worry about it), etc.

Anyway. Lots of strong personalities. Lots of for-profit companies. Lots of them getting invested in, or bought by, private equity firms.

Matt being Matt, tech being tech

As was said repeatedly when Matt was flipping out about Tumblr, all of the stuff happening at Automattic is pretty normal tech company behaviour. Shit gets worse. People get less for their money. WordPress.com used to be a really good place for people starting out with a website who didn't need "real" WordPress — for $48 a year on the Personal plan, you had really limited features (no plugins or other customisable extensions), but you had a simple website with good SEO that was pretty secure, relatively easy to use, and 24-hour access to Happiness Engineers (HEs for short. Bad job title. This was my job) who could walk you through everything no matter how bad at tech you were. Then Personal plan users got moved from chat to emails only. Emails started being responded to by contractors who didn't know as much as HEs did and certainly didn't get paid half as well. Then came AI, and the mandate for HEs to try to upsell everyone things they didn't necessarily need. (This is the point at which I quit.)

But as was said then as well, most tech CEOs don't publicly get into this kind of shitfight with their users. They're horrid tyrants, but they don't do it this publicly.

ok tony that's enough. tell me what's actually happening

WordCamp US, one of the biggest WordPress industry events of the year, is the backdrop for all this. It just finished.

There are.... a lot of posts by Matt across multiple platforms because, as always, he can't log off. But here's the broad strokes.

Sep 17

Matt publishes a wanky blog post about companies that profit off open source without giving back. It targets a specific company, WP Engine.

Compare the Five For the Future pages from Automattic and WP Engine, two companies that are roughly the same size with revenue in the ballpark of half a billion. These pledges are just a proxy and aren’t perfectly accurate, but as I write this, Automattic has 3,786 hours per week (not even counting me!), and WP Engine has 47 hours. WP Engine has good people, some of whom are listed on that page, but the company is controlled by Silver Lake, a private equity firm with $102 billion in assets under management. Silver Lake doesn’t give a dang about your Open Source ideals. It just wants a return on capital. So it’s at this point that I ask everyone in the WordPress community to vote with your wallet. Who are you giving your money to? Someone who’s going to nourish the ecosystem, or someone who’s going to frack every bit of value out of it until it withers?

(It's worth noting here that Automattic is funded in part by BlackRock, who Wikipedia calls "the world's largest asset manager".)

Sep 20 (WCUS final day)

WP Engine puts out a blog post detailing their contributions to WordPress.

Matt devotes his keynote/closing speech to slamming WP Engine.

He also implies people inside WP Engine are sending him information.

For the people sending me stuff from inside companies, please do not do it on your work device. Use a personal phone, Signal with disappearing messages, etc. I have a bunch of journalists happy to connect you with as well. #wcus — Twitter I know private equity and investors can be brutal (read the book Barbarians at the Gate). Please let me know if any employee faces firing or retaliation for speaking up about their company's participation (or lack thereof) in WordPress. We'll make sure it's a big public deal and that you get support. — Tumblr

Matt also puts out an offer live at WordCamp US:

“If anyone of you gets in trouble for speaking up in favor of WordPress and/or open source, reach out to me. I’ll do my best to help you find a new job.” — source tweet, RTed by Matt

He also puts up a poll asking the community if WP Engine should be allowed back at WordCamps.

Sep 21

Matt writes a blog post on the WordPress.org blog (the official project blog!): WP Engine is not WordPress.

He opens this blog post by claiming his mom was confused and thought WP Engine was official.

The blog post goes on about how WP Engine disabled post revisions (which is a pretty normal thing to do when you need to free up some resources), therefore being not "real" WordPress. (As I said earlier, WordPress.com disables most features for Personal and Premium plans. Or whatever those plans are called, they've been renamed like 12 times in the last few years. But that's a different complaint.)

Sep 22: More bullshit on Twitter. Matt makes a Reddit post on r/Wordpress about WP Engine that promptly gets deleted. Writeups start to come out:

Search Engine Journal: WordPress Co-Founder Mullenweg Sparks Backlash

TechCrunch: Matt Mullenweg calls WP Engine a ‘cancer to WordPress’ and urges community to switch providers

Sep 23 onward

Okay, time zones mean I can't effectively sequence the rest of this.

Matt defends himself on Reddit, casually mentioning that WP Engine is now suing him.

Also here's a decent writeup from someone involved with the community that may be of interest.

WP Engine drops the full PDF of their cease and desist, which includes screenshots of Matt apparently threatening them via text.

Twitter link | Direct PDF link

This PDF includes some truly fucked texts where Matt appears to be trying to get WP Engine to pay him money unless they want him to tell his audience at WCUS that they're evil.

Matt, after saying he's been sued and can't talk about it, hosts a Twitter Space and talks about it for a couple hours.

He also continues to post on Reddit, Twitter, and on the Core contributor Slack.

Here's a comment where he says WP Engine could have avoided this by paying Automattic 8% of their revenue.

Another, 20 hours ago, where he says he's being downvoted by "trolls, probably WPE employees"

At some point, Matt updates the WordPress Foundation trademark policy. I am 90% sure this was him — it's not legalese and makes no fucking sense to single out WP Engine.

Old text: The abbreviation “WP” is not covered by the WordPress trademarks and you are free to use it in any way you see fit. New text: The abbreviation “WP” is not covered by the WordPress trademarks, but please don’t use it in a way that confuses people. For example, many people think WP Engine is “WordPress Engine” and officially associated with WordPress, which it’s not. They have never once even donated to the WordPress Foundation, despite making billions of revenue on top of WordPress.

Sep 25: Automattic puts up their own legal response.

anyway this fucking sucks

This is bigger than anything Matt's done before. I'm so worried about my friends who're still there. The internal ramifications have... been not great so far, including that Matt's naturally being extra gung-ho about "you're either for me or against me and if you're against me then don't bother working your two weeks".

Despite everything, I like WordPress. (If you dig into this, you'll see plenty of people commenting about blocks or Gutenberg or React other things they hate. Unlike many of the old FOSSheads, I actually also think Gutenberg/the block editor was a good idea, even if it was poorly implemented.)

I think that the original mission — to make it so anyone can spin up a website that's easy enough to use and blog with — is a good thing. I think, despite all the ways being part of FOSS communities since my early teens has led to all kinds of racist, homophobic and sexual harm for me and for many other people, that free and open-source software is important.

So many people were already burning out of the project. Matt has been doing this for so long that those with long memories can recite all the ways he's wrecked shit back a decade or more. Most of us are exhausted and need to make money to live. The world is worse than it ever was.

Social media sucks worse and worse, and this was a world in which people missed old webrings, old blogs, RSS readers, the world where you curated your own whimsical, unpaid corner of the Internet. I started actually actively using my own WordPress blog this year, and I've really enjoyed it.

And people don't want to deal with any of this.

The thing is, Matt's right about one thing: capital is ruining free open-source software. What he's wrong about is everything else: the idea that WordPress.com isn't enshittifying (or confusing) at a much higher rate than WP Engine, the idea that WP Engine or Silver Lake are the only big players in the field, the notion that he's part of the solution and not part of the problem.

But he's started a battle where there are no winners but the lawyers who get paid to duke it out, and all the volunteers who've survived this long in an ecosystem increasingly dominated by big money are giving up and leaving.

Anyway if you got this far, consider donating to someone on gazafunds.com. It'll take much less time than reading this did.

[acid-ixx]

I feel like they are the type of mf to stalk you in game bruh.

Like imagine Tim playing dress to impress just to vote you a 5 star no matter if your fits are trash lol. (Hell all of them might do it)

Or maybe your playing some sort of RPG game, and you said to your in game friends about how you wanted a skin and BOOM you immediately got it first try when you gacha lol. (Tim)

— masterlist !

as much as i love writing yandere angst, i always border on the softer spectrum of it, so when it comes to interpreting your life post-kidnapping: i'll say that the family is a bit more lenient (as if it's enough to make you feel a semblance of freedom) to you when it comes to pastimes like gaming as long as you're always being monitored, especially in online games...

that translates to you being stalked at every opportunity every time you use your bugged phone...

they're always breathing down your neck, so you think you have privacy even when playing alone? when heaven forbid the surrounding cameras all over your room, all set-up by tim and his invasive ass, just so he could have constant surveillance over every movement or hobby of yours?

there's eyes on you all the time, but you'd never expect that it's to the point that they'll join all the games you play if it means spending some "bonding" time with you whenever you push them away from physically being in the same room as you.

so if it means playing lousy obbies in roblox, or even "girly" games like dress to impress, for hours, then they'll join you without moment's hesitation. you'll be shocked at just how well tim and damian style their clothes, but nobody's beating steph and cass at their game. and despite you feeling down in the dumps at the times you feel inferior towards them and their expertise, or just how well each of them communicating with each other, and you, feeling out of place everytime.

it's an undeniable fact that it's you always winning and ranking first place.

they'll always lower themselves, or won't even try so you'd always be in the spotlight even if you ask them to play fairly.

oh, by the way, never ask any one of them to duo with you. they automatically see it as you crowning one of them as your favorite— you don't want to see another fight ensue just because you voted one of their fits better than the other.

you could be shit at the obbies, constantly missing your jumps and close to snapping your device in half— then suddenly you have the game passes to skip certain levels. suddenly, you have an entire cheer team waiting with baited breaths every time you finish a jump, only to cheer and celebrate once you finish a particularly hard level.

oh, you're in a shitty dress to impress server with unfair voting? don't worry, barbara's faster behind the scenes, finding pro servers for you to join in. the entire family's already at your beck and call (even if you've never asked them in the first place) every time you mouth a complaint, each statement of yours taken more seriously than the missions they have every night as vigilantes.

and once bruce catches the news that you want robux just to buy the VIP and custom makeup game pass for dress to impress, or literally any games? god, he's like your mr. salt to you, his sweet veruca, willing to buy the entire game, hell, even the gaming companies you play on.

just, you know, if you don't want them showing their affection directly, then they'll do so by servicing you through the games you play.

any game currency is immediately bought by bruce, all transferred to your account, no matter how expensive it is because he sees it's what makes you happy, watching you burn off all the money on your avatar's design, or certain gacha characters you're fond of, with your eyes staring at the screen in awe with no worries about becoming broke.

it just makes him want to... hold you like you're a little kid spoiled by their father who loves them so much, who should've loved them from the start.

your siblings have an unspoken competition on who could grind on your account the most while you're afk, just so they could see your meek smile plastered on your adorable face seeing that you have the proper resources on your inventory.

you know, it makes them feel useful to you. it makes dick feel like the dependable older brother who's the first one you approach whenever you need him to play for you whilst you go to the bathroom. tim even learns every game mechanic in parkour games so he could assist you during the moments you struggle.

as cute as you are on his computer screen in one of the cameras surveying your room, pouting as you look at the screen at another failed level, tim wants to be as every bit your favorite, the guy you see as the geeky nerd in the family so he'll be the only one you approach to help you out (you don't even have to ask him, his eyes are always on you).

jason's good at point and shoot games, he gives you oddly realistic tips too so you could aim right at players and eventually secure your spot. it makes him huff with joy whenever you win competitive games 'cause you always jump and cheer, forgetting the boundaries you've set with personal space, just to thank him with a hug and your rare grins that feeds the greedy parts of him only wanting to see your smile all for himself.

so, really, everything's fine with them, as long as it doesn't disrupt your quality time with your family in real time and you don't hurt yourself over losing that they're happy you're enjoying. as long as you're not pushing them away and not-so eagerly accepting their online presence, then maybe you could find an actual routine to enjoy every time you open your phone to play a game.

maybe you'll learn to smile or laugh with them too when you're all in the same room playing together.

maybe, just maybe.

[m4sc4r4]

More on bad relationship habits in the tags

[hayatoseyepatch]

𝕯𝖊𝖘𝖈𝖗𝖎𝖕𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓: Karasu thought you needed to stop spending so much time online, especially after you let your doom-scrolling lead you to ask him to fuck you in a Ghostface mask. But hey, what was he if not an accommodating partner, he did so love it when you screamed. 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖊𝖗: Tabito Karasu (Blue Lock) 𝖂𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝕮𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙: 2k 𝕮𝖔𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖎𝖓𝖘: Fem!Reader x Karasu. SMUT. 𝕮𝖔𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖓𝖙 𝖂𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘: Hunter/prey dynamics, mask kink, degradation, praise, penetrative sex, spanking, mentions of slut/whore, choking, dacryphilia.

𝕬𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗’𝖘 𝕹𝖔𝖙𝖊: This is one of my two submissions for the "No, You Hang Up" Ghostface server collab that I'm hosting with our other server owner @rindous-starlight for our server! This was so much fun to do and thanks to everyone who voted on my poll a little while ago to help me select the characters! I hope you enjoy, the full masterlist for my kinktober can be found here.

“You want me to do what?”

The laughter following your boyfriend’s statement makes your cheeks flush, almost embarrassed for asking. However, truth be told there was just something about the idea of Karasu chasing you, his identity “concealed” before fucking you in the woods behind your home. In the moment you had, shrugged it off as a joke, that you hadn’t been serious upon your boyfriend’s reaction. However, he knew better than that, knowing just how serious you had been. And if Karasu was honest with himself he couldn’t deny the way his cock throbbed at the idea. He just needed to find the perfect time to execute his plan.

You had been alone that night, Karasu having told you he was too tired to drive back from practice and he’d be crashing at Hiori’s. So why was it that you had gotten a notification that there was movement in your back ring camera? Brushing it off as the stray cats you and Karasu fed, grabbing a bowl of food and taking it outside, only for the door to slam shut behind you. Panicking, in nothing more than your house slippers and one of Karasu’s jerseys, you try the doorknob. Locked. Sighing, at least you both kept a key hidden by the front door, before you could go anywhere you felt a hand curl around your throat. Ice flooded your veins as a muffled voice met your ear.

“Don’t you know never to come to the door when you’re all alone pretty little dove.”

The grip on you was lose, allowing you to easily break free. Adrenaline surging, your feet carrying you before your brain could catch up, fight or flight kicking in. Making your second mistake of the evening, you ran into the woods that bled into the back of your shared home. Running through the wooded area as fast as your feet would carry you, dodging between trees as you tried to put as much distance between you and the mysterious figure as possible. Once you were sure you had done just that, you pressed your back against a tree, concealed from sight as you caught your breath. Hand over your mouth to muffle your shaky breaths as to not draw attention to yourself. However, it seemed there hadn’t been enough distance, watching as the figure walked past the tree you were hiding behind, mask concealing his face as his voice rang out once more.

“Haven't you ever watched a scary movie, dove? Don’t you know you never run into the woods?”

The voice carried through the night, but now that your heart wasn’t racing in your ears from fear, you quickly recognized the voice. Karasu? Your heart now raced for a different reason, realizing he had set you up. Telling you a lie earlier to catch you off guard, to make this feel more real. Karasu was nothing if not thorough, putting his all into all he did, this was no different it seemed. You werent sure if your relief outweighed your fear anymore though. Karasu was a professional athlete, body honed after years of training. And one thing you knew for certain from watching his games was that he was fast. Incredibly so. Which meant the chances of out running him were slim to none. But that wouldn’t stop you from trying.

Your feet slam against the ground as you ran in the opposite direction of his footsteps. Karasu’s ears perked immediately, the sound of branches snapping under your feet alerting him to your location. He was quick to turn on his heel, long strides having him caught up to your form within moments. Large hands reaching out to grip your hips, pulling you flush against him, knowing if it weren't for the mask you would feel his breaths on the back of your neck.

“Gotcha, sweetheart.”

He purrs, hands roaming your body, one settling around your throat while the other pushed the hem of his jersey up past your hips. He groans upon realizing you were in nothing but a cute pair of panties underneath, taking advantage of your state of undress as he slides his fingers past the waistband of your panties. His eyes rolling back in his head upon being met with your drenched cunt, sliding two fingers past your entrance with ease from the sheer amount of slick that seeped from your opening.

“God.” He groaned, dragging out the word, fingers delving deeper into your cunt. “You're fucking drenched. You this wet from being fucking chased by a stranger? God you're such a good little slut for me, baby.” He slid his fingers from your walls, the pads of his fingers circling your clit, relishing in the delicious sounds he pulls from you. Eventually he pulls away fully, swiping a foot under your own sending you to the ground below. You squeal form your loss of balance, just managing to catch yourself on your hands and knees. Karasu was quick to drop to his own, a strong hand finding purchase on your back, forcing your back to arch and expose your ass to him. He tosses up the hem of his jersey, hooking two fingers in your panties to tug them to the side. You let out a shiver as the cold autumn air hits your now exposed cunt. Karasu lands a harsh slap to your ass, followed by three more in quick succession, using your distraction from the sting as a means to lower the sweatpants from his hips. His cock springs free from the material, slamming the entirety of his length past your velvety walls with ease due to just how wet you were for him.

“God, princess you’re sucking me in like such a good fucking slut.”

He groans, his setting a steady pace, a thumb parting your folds so he can watch his cock disappear inside you with every pass of his hips. With one hand he grabbed you by your arms crossing them using them as handlebars to pull you back on his cock, only to bounce you back with every harsh thrust. He picks up speed, allowing you to hear all the filthy noises he was making while pounding into you with abandon. He let out a strangled groan, your velvety walls suffocating his cock as he fucked you. He wasn’t sure if it was the remnants of adrenaline from you earlier chase or if he was just so into the way this scenario allowed for him to use you completely in a way he never had, but he could feel himself losing control. Releasing the grip he had on your arms, he lets his hand come down on your ass once more, taking pleasure in knowing your skin would darken from the blood rushing to the impacted area.

“God, dove, so fucking good.” He droned, gripping the flesh of your ass to force you back on him. “This fucken pussy drives me insane, tryin’ to fucken milk me for all I’m worth, isn’t that right my pretty little dove.”

He continues his assault, missing the feel of your skin under his mouth but god if you were this wet from him fucking you with a mask on, who was he to complain? He never knew he would be so into it, but he’d be lying if he said this wasn’t the hottest sex the two of you had ever had. Karasu’s hand wrapped around your neck, bringing you flush against his chest as he fucked up into your cunt. Karasu’s much larger frame always made it so easy for him to manhandle you into whatever position he pleased. He kept with his brutal pace, the sound of skin slapping against skin echoing in the woods. Groaning, the feeling of your slick against his thighs as your cunt gushed for him was sure to drive him mad.

“God kitten, you feel how fucking wet you are? So wet over getting fucked by someone whose face you can't even see.” He groans, laughing sadistically, the sound being muffled by the mask that still covered his face. “What a good girl you are, doing so well for me. Such a good fucken kitten”

He used his free hand that wasn't wrapped around your neck to reach around to rub harsh slow circles into your clit. The movement of his fingers in time with the thrusting of his hips. Your eyes rolled back in your head, the rough terrain of the ground below digging into your knees adding a delicious mix of pain into the pleasure you were receiving, making your head fuzzy. After a few moments of his ruthless attack on your poor cunt, he slowed his movements to a halt, grinning beneath the mask at the delicious whine it pulled from deep within your throat. He kept his movements slow, dragging his cock in and out of your cunt slowly, allowing you to feel every inch and vein of his dick. His movements were so incredibly frustrating just enough to keep you on the edge of what you needed most. Eventually, his movements stopped altogether, pulling out of your cunt, rewarded with a desperate whimper from you. At this rate he didn’t even need to ask, begs and pleas falling from your lips in a desperate scramble, needing so badly for him to make you cum.

“Please Tabito.. please, wanna come, please.. I don't care baby just need to come all over your cock, need to feel you come inside my cunt want you to breed my pussy Tabito.”

Your pleas were like music to his ears, pulling a groan from him. You felt the world shift, him easily manhandling you to lay on your back beneath him. “I wanna see that beautiful face, when you cream all over my cock, dove. I want to see every face you make while I fuck you baby. I want watch you go dumb on my cock like the slut you are. Wanna watch you come undone on my cock.

He growled, your tear-stained cheeks and completely fucked expression had him wasting no time slipping back into the drenched walls of your pussy. He ripped the mask off with one hand, throwing it god knows where as his hips resumed their abuse on your cunt. Two large hands found the backs of your knees, forcing them to your chest so his cock could reach even deeper inside of you. Your cries muffled as he finally kisses you, tongue invading your mouth instantly. The kiss is desperate, filled with need, his thrusts were getting sloppy, letting you know it wasn’t just you who was reaching the precipice of orgasm. Karasu gripped at the plush of your thighs, being sure to hit every single nerve and spot inside your cunt. He could feel the clenching, the want, the desperate need for you to come all over his cock.

He attacked your neck, leaving kisses and bites along the surface area of your exposed skin. He lets out a breathy chuckle, seeing the way you had thrown your head back, making a sad attempt to meet his thrusts with your own hips. You sob, moaning almost embarrassingly loud as he hits every spot, angling his hips just right in the ways only he knows how to. His ministrations finally being enough to throw you over the edge. He feels your thighs clamp shut over his hips, body violently shaking with cries as you came. Walls clamping down on him in a vice grip, eventually hurtling him towards his own release. So lost in pleasure as he paints your walls white in his cum, he is barely aware of the added moisture from you having squirted all over him. He slows his hips, riding out your highs until the point of overstimulation, a shudder wracking his spine as he stills. His head dropping into your neck as he catches his breaths, a breathy laugh leaving him.

“Who knew all it would take for you to do that was to chase your horny ass through the woods, little bird.”

𝕯𝖎𝖛𝖎𝖉𝖊𝖗𝖘 𝖇𝖞 @/𝖈𝖆𝖋𝖊𝖐𝖎𝖙𝖘𝖚𝖓𝖊 & @/𝖘𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖉𝖎𝖐𝖆-𝖌𝖗𝖆𝖕𝖍𝖎𝖈𝖘.

𝕿𝖆𝖌𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙: @pixelcafe-network @interstellar-inn @littleplantfreak @maruflix @umemiaa @stunies @eevees-hobbies @143-ilyuu @uzxotic @princesstiti14 (𝖕𝖑𝖊𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖋𝖊𝖊𝖑 𝖋𝖗𝖊𝖊 𝖙𝖔 𝖈𝖔𝖒𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙/𝖉𝖒/𝖆𝖘𝖐 𝖎𝖋 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖜𝖔𝖚𝖑𝖉 𝖑𝖎𝖐𝖊 𝖙𝖔 𝖇𝖊 𝖆𝖉𝖉𝖊𝖉 𝖙𝖔 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖙𝖆𝖌𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 𝖋𝖔𝖗 𝖘𝖔𝖒𝖊 𝖔𝖗 𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖔𝖋 𝖒𝖞 𝖐𝖎𝖓𝖐𝖙𝖔𝖇𝖊𝖗 𝖋𝖎𝖈𝖘) (ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ.ﾟ

[seventeenreasonswhy]

Camping with Seventeen!

OT13!Seventeen x GN!Reader

You and your boyfriend, <SVT member> go camping!

Content: fluff i guess? haha, cracked seventeen! 🤪, some members like the outdoors more than others, some mentions of alcohol

SCOUPS

Would talk a big talk about how capable he is of setting up camp. You would be hiking all day, a little farther into the woods than you’d intended because Seungcheol kept urging you to keep hiking, even though you were tired. So you end up in a weird place without much clear ground to pitch the tent on, but Seungcheol insists that it’s the perfect spot. Pretty much everything goes wrong! Your tent poles snap ? the ground is too wet for the fire to get going, it’s starting to get dark... Seungcheol ends up pouting, his pride wounded after you set up the spare tent you brought and the fire, saying he’ll only smile again if you hand feed him s’mores. 🙄

HANNIE

You don’t go camping with Jeonghan, you go camping with Hannie. Hannie looks like a princess but actually likes catching bugs and roughing it! He’s so cute camping it’s crazy. You keep turning around thinking that you’ve lost him but he’s just crouching looking at a leaf he thinks is pretty. Then you have to run to him before he touches it in case it’s poisonous! Hannie is chaotic! And adorable! He’s getting into all kinds of almost-dire situations on this trip. You end up exhausted every night trying to keep up with his fearless approach to the forest, but then he cuddles into you under the stars and you forget he ever did anything wrong!

JOSHUA

Somehow has the best equipment and knows exactly where to go and what to do! The surprises are endless with this guy! He wants to go cliff diving, he wants you to take a picture of him hanging from a really tall branch, he wants to explore a very suspicious and scary-looking cave... Joshua is a risk-taker! And the great outdoors do not scare him! He would eventually pick up on your exhausted expression but he would ignore it haha because he’s having too much fun! Only to surprise you again with how extremely cuddly and sleepy he is by the end of the day.

JUN

why are you bringing a domesticated cat into the woods! pouts about not bringing enough food, forms a hostile relationship to the bugs, stays secured inside the hood of his sweatshirt all day and into the evening until you make him some hot chocolate over the camping stove you brought and he perks right up. would get bored and want to explore the forest, which you discourage because it’s too dark now. you didn’t know what to expect camping with moon junhui, but somehow you have a singularly fun time.

HOSHI

So fun to go camping with! Hoshi is a good sport with a lot of energy, so he’s an ideal hiking companion. He’s good at staying on track, setting up camp, making the food and keeping it safely out of any animal’s reach... you guys have a blast and take a bunch of cute pictures in front of the fire. You cuddle to sleep under the stars! Hoshi loves the outdoors, especially with you!

WONWOO

He'll be the first to admit that he's not the most outdoorsy person but he also doesn’t want you to think he’s incapable so he spends the weeks leading up to the trip researching tips and good equipment/brands online. You can tell that he wants to impress you, because he keeps cutely telling you fun facts the plants on the path and what to watch out for. You tease him for acting so reluctant to go camping when he clearly ‘knows his stuff’ lol. Sweet Wonwoo would be so cute about a camping trip with you.

WOOZI

Hates this idea lol. Woozi is for the indoor girlies. It’s not like he HATES the outdoors, but he’d much rather have a quiet getaway in a nice hotel, or even a cabin. You guys would compromise by renting one of those posh Airbnb tiny houses in the woods. It’s got amenities and great views of nature, so you’re both happy and end up having a fabulous time together.

THE8

Minghao and you go camping all the time! You both love being out in the quiet of nature, and have a fun time hiking around, gently observing the good views of the forest together, and meditating by a stream/waterfall together. Very peaceful activity for both of you and you make a point to go camping together at least a few times a year!

MINGYU

Capable king. Even if he doesn’t camp that often, he is good at it. His biggest challenges are fitting inside the tent and getting scared from random noises at night. But you think it’s cute how he goes from sexy mountain man to scared little baby so fast. He wakes you up in the middle of the night because he thinks he can hear a bear. it turns out to be a cute little raccoon. but that doesn’t matter because Mingyu screams loud anyway, trying to shoo it away from your garbage. Camping with Kim Mingyu is fun!

DK

I can’t imagine a more unserious person to go camping with. He would be super gung-ho at first and react really cutely to all of the beautiful nature (pretty much all he says for the first hour or so of your hike is “Wow!!” and “YN look at this!”) but he gets more and more annoyed with all of the bugs and then gets very scared when it gets dark. Luckily you set up camp before it gets too dark out, but DK is still clinging to you for protection. He excitedly agrees to your challenge of a s’mores eating contest to distract him but he ends up complaining—saying he ate too much while pouting and blaming you. Never a dull moment with DK!

SEUNGKWAN

You initially scoffed (before you could hide it) when Seungkwan suggested that you two take a camping trip, but now that you’re here at the campsite, it’s really nice! You realized that Seungkwan’s version of camping is more like glamping, which you’re lowkey relieved about because you weren’t sure if you could handle really roughing it with Seungkwan overnight. But you end up barbequing together and getting a little tipsy—laughing and talking very late into the night together.

VERNON

Very comfortable with letting you take the lead as you hike and is helpful setting up the camp but not exactly experienced. He hasn’t been camping since he was a kid and he doesn’t try to hide it haha. Vernon is so cute. He does exactly what you tell him to do and gets really excited to make smores. His whole expression is filled with wonder, like he’s discovering the great outdoors for the first time.

DINO

Would put on an impromptu performance by the campfire (which was set up mostly by you but he insists he was the one that really got it to light). But you two make a perfect camping trip team. You’re the logistics and he brings the pizazz. You end up camping at pretty close to other people, but you enjoy the less isolated vibe as you drink and grill into the night!

[epnusika]

ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ- GR13F3R Romantic Headcanons

[ The Player! Reader Edition. ]

Author's Note: There are some spoilers ahead.

——————————————————————————————————

•] After his recovery from getting defeated, GR1EF3R was more than beyond pissed that his Dad is telling him to apologize to you. Sure... He did a lot of bad things and initially sent people to get rid of you but... You had it coming! You were trying to steal the Venomshank from him!

•] Now, he's standing awkwardly in your presence once you have returned to Turitopulis. His Dad was standing behind him, waiting and watching if his son would stick to his words. GR1EF3R'S arms are folded across his chest, trying to look cool under the heavy pressure on his shoulders.

"Y0U'R3 B4CK, PUNK... HMPH, T0OK YOU LONG ENOUGH. I 4LMOST TH0UGHT TH4T YOU GOT M4UL3D BY TH3 BE4STS 1N TH3 JUNGL3. Kind of a shame that you didn't...—" — "BRAD!" — "GAH!"

•] His entire apology was pretty pathetic, it was rather pitiful to watch him struggle to get the words out to apologize to you. If anything, his ego wasn't bruised, no. It felt like it was run over by a bullet train, smacked onto the ground, before it was set on fire with humiliation.

•] But... since Mayor Thaniyel wanted you two to get along, he had left you two alone to spend time with each other. GR1EF3R'S obviously repulsed by it. Why should he spend time with the one who beat the crap out of him? He was right about to leave, most likely to return to the big tree in the jungle, until you suggested that you two go to the arcade. Your treat.

•] The next thing you know, GR1EF3R'S hogging up all the prizes of each claw machine in the arcade, being surprisingly good at it.

•] Originally, he was planning to make you go bankrupt but... the moment you started cheering for him as the claw in the machine latches onto a plushed toy, something inside of him clicked, and he changed his mind. So, instead of you, he made the arcade bankrupt instead.

•] As you two headed out of the arcade, carrying four heavy bags of every prize that you won, GR1EF3R realized something. Something that felt... good. He's finally experiencing the feeling of having a companion. Not in online, but purely in reality.

•] He genuinely feels bad. Even after everything he did... You still managed to put up with him. Perhaps that's the reason why he hates you. He thinks you're too soft. You remind him of his Dad. People like you shouldn't...—Wait. No. What the hell is he thinking? He shouldn't care about stuff like this! Especially after you whooped his ass.

•] He's still pissed about it.

•] Regardless, he was pretty upset when he realized that you were going to leave Turitopulis soon. Right... He almost forgot that you were always up and about, rushing off to another one of your adventures or something...

•] It was like you helped him piece together the fragile parts of his heart, only to crush it with your own foot right after you were finished.

•] ...why did you have to leave when he finally found solace in your presence?

•] When the day of your departure arrived, you were met with a disgruntled GR1EF3R.

"H3Y, PUNK. Y0U GOT A PH0N3, R1GHT? ...HUH? WH4T DO YOU M3AN YOU DON'T H4VE—...? UGH, F1NE. H3RE, H4VE TH1S."

•] The next thing you know, GR1EF3R is handing you a cellular phone. From the looks of it, it looks outdated compared to its present-time counterparts. His old phone, perhaps?

"TSK... WHY D1D I EXP3CT TH4T YOU W0ULDN'T OWN ON3...? Maybe it's because you look broke."

•] Says the one who gave his old phone instead of buying a new one.

•] Going through the old phone though, there was one thing that you realized. GR1EF3R's number is in your contacts.

"L3T ME G3T SOM3TH1NG STR4IGHT... DON'T TH1NK TH4T TH3RE'S SOM3TH1NG GO1NG ON B3TWEEN US. GOT 1T? W1TH THE M4SS1VE Z3R0 IN Y0UR FR13ND'S L1ST? YOU SH0ULD BE GR4T3FUL TH4T I'M GIV1NG Y0U MY NUMB3R IN TH3 F1RST PL4CE. NOW GO. 1'M T1R3D OF LO0K1NG AT YOUR F4CE."

•] Not even ten minutes later after you left, he's asking his Dad about when you're going to come back. Looking over to the prizes that you two won in the arcade... He felt ticked off. All of it reminds him of you, surging a bittersweet feeling in his chest because of the short time you spent together.

•] So... when you arrived at your next destination, your phone was being blown up by messages from GR1EF3R. It was just simple messages like 'Hey, you alive?' or 'Hope the plane didn't crash.' but still. It's kind of amusing how he went from wanting you dead to being worried about your status.

•] Messages like this continued between the two of you. Slowly, it shifted to the point that you two had this little texting thing going on between each other. GR1EF3R'S obviously curious about what's going on in your line though. For example, he's asking what's it like retrieving the Ghostwalker? Did you have a tough time fighting enemies? You had to give him updates every hour or so because he wouldn't stop bugging you.

•] Until... you checked your most recent message from him. Exhausted from running away from the enemies trying to get you, you hid away into a secluded spot to regain some energy. You eventually pulled out your phone to check your contacts, and as expected, there was a new message from GR13FER.

"H3Y, SO. TH1S'LL BE OUTT4 POCK3T BUT 4RE Y0U PL4NN1NG TO H3AD B4CK TO TUR1TOPUL1S SO0N? TH3RE'S TH1S N3W 4IRS0FT PL4CE OP3N1NG SOON AND, I N3ED A P4RTNER."

•] Proceeding, he argues that he's totally not asking you out, totes!

"SO... WH3N 4M I GO1NG TO P1CK YOU UP FR0M THE A1RP0RT?"

[queen-anarchy-666]

Okay so apparently kids these days don't know how to be safe online because their parents are fucking stupid and don't know anything about the internet!!!

So I'm gonna tell you teenagers how to be safe and not get abused because there is no shortage of predators on the internet. I'm gonna go from super basic things you can do to keep yourself safe to more specific instances where a predator may be trying to groom you that you can recognize. Remember though; if you are abused or have been abused it is not your fault. You deserve protection and you deserve respect as a minor, regardless of how you spend your time on the internet. Victim blaming helps nobody but predators, but there are ways you can protect yourself, even though you shouldn't always have to.

Basic tips:

DO NOT SHARE YOUR REAL NAME

DO NOT SHARE YOUR AGE

DO NOT SHARE WHERE YOU LIVE

DO NOT SHARE PHOTOS OR VIDEOS OF YOURSELF

DO NOT SHARE PHOTOS OF YOUR HOUSE

IT IS OKAY TO BLOCK WHOEVER YOU WANT, WHENEVER YOU WANT, REGARDLESS OF THE REASON.

Don't sacrifice your safety, comfort, or peace of mind just for someone else's feelings! Especially a stranger! Also, if you think something is off, it probably is. You need to trust your gut. SPEAK UP! Tell a trusted friend, sibling, or adult! I'm sure you've heard the phrase "silence is violence" -- this phrase goes for abuse as well! Unsafe people want you to stay quiet so they can continue to harm you or others. It is not inherently problematic to have friends who are adults, in fact it is healthy and helpful to have friends who are older than you, however we live in a world where you cannot trust many adults, so you need to be cautious of adults you encounter at all times, including ones you know well or are well known by others. It is also not inherently problematic to be asked many of the questions above, but it is important to ask yourself whether or not you want to give that information to the person asking. If not, simply tell them that you do not give out that information and redirect the conversation, or block if you feel uncomfortable.

MOST IMPORTANTLY, DO NOT INSERT YOURSELF INTO ADULT SPACES.

I know it is tempting, especially with the way hormones effect judgement and your emotions, and we all want to be included, but inserting yourself into spaces you know you should not be by lying about your age is incredibly unsafe and leads to horrible situations that aren't always easy to get out of. This includes adult fandom spaces, websites, searching adult topics, NSFW blogs or accounts, and even group chats. Even if your friends invite you to these spaces, it does not mean you should neglect your safety to be accepted. It's okay and encouraged to say no. You will thank yourself when you get older!

More Specific Tips:

YOU SHOULDN'T PUT YOUR MENTAL ILLNESSES OR DEVELOPMENTAL DISABILITIES IN YOUR BIOS ON YOUR ACCOUNTS.

Awareness and solidarity for mental illness and disabilities is very important, however predators are more likely to go after people who may have a more difficult time discerning what is normal and what is not in social situations, especially when speaking to an authority figure like an adult. Do not make yourself a target by listing the ways you struggle with social cues, understanding rules and safety, or communication. It is okay to seek solidarity, but there are predators seeking out disabled and mentally ill youths to abuse.

DO NOT OFFER INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR SCHOOL ON THE INTERNET.

It is dangerous to release information about your whereabouts in any capacity on the internet, especially your school where you are doubly putting your peers and classmates in danger as well. If you come into contact or into the orbit of a predator that is bent on finding you or meeting you, your school is a public place where one may feel brazen enough to pretend they know you. Even if other kids are doing it by posting fight videos or even innocent videos, doesn't mean you should.

JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE INSISTS THEY'RE A SAFE PERSON DOES NOT MEAN THAT THEY ARE.

People lie on the internet all the time, including in some really bizarre and meaningless ways, but there will always be people who lie to get closer to someone to make them a victim. Just because someone tells you they are against abuse or even if they advocate against it does not mean that they themselves are a safe person. Predators will do anything they can to get you to trust them, and while predators are usually very pushy and want things to go quickly, some will take their time to groom you.

!!!!BIG RED FLAGS!!!!

IF YOU SEE ANY OF THIS BEHAVIOR, RUN! BLOCK AND REPORT PEOPLE WHO DO THESE THINGS FOR YOUR SAFETY! IT'S NEVER WORTH STICKING AROUND THESE KINDS OF PEOPLE!

THEY CONTINUALLY SEND YOU SEXUALLY EXPLICIT MATERIAL, INCLUDING FANART, FANFIC, AND VIDEOS.

THEY TELL YOU AGE IS JUST A NUMBER, OR LOVE HAS NO AGE.

THEY EXPRESS THE OPINION THAT MINORS CAN CONSENT TO SEXUAL ACTIVITY.

THEY CONSTANTLY MAKE "JOKES" ABOUT MINORS IN A SEXUAL WAY OR ABOUT BEING ATTRACTED TO MINORS.

THEY EMPHASIZE THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING "LEGAL" AT THE AGE OF 18 OR FIXATE ON AGE OF CONSENT LAWS.

THEY GET ANGRY AT YOU FOR SETTING A BOUNDARY OR IF YOU MENTION TELLING YOUR PARENTS.

THEY ENJOY "LOLI" OR "SHOTA" MATERIAL OR ENTHUSE ABOUT THOSE TYPES OF CHARACTERS.

THEY CALL YOU PET NAMES THAT YOU AREN'T COMFORTABLE WITH, EVEN WHEN YOU TELL THEM NOT TO.

THEY ASK YOU HIGHLY PERSONAL QUESTIONS ABOUT SEXUAL ACTIVITY, YOUR PERIODS, OR MASTURBATION.

THEY TELL YOU THAT YOU'RE MATURE FOR YOUR AGE, OR THAT YOU'RE NOT LIKE OTHER KIDS BECAUSE YOU'RE MORE ADULT THAN THEY ARE.

THEY ASK YOU TO SEND PHOTOS OR VIDEOS OF YOURSELF DOING SEXUALLY CHARGED THINGS, WHICH INCLUDES DANCING OR STRIPPING, OR SPECIFIC PARTS OF YOUR BODY.

THEY KEEP STEERING THE CONVERSATION IN A SEXUAL DIRECTION. THIS INCLUDES ROLEPLAY!

NONE OF THIS BEHAVIOR IS NORMAL. IT IS NOT NORMAL FOR AN ADULT TO ASK HIGHLY PERVASIVE QUESTIONS OR TO BECOME PUSHY OR ANGRY IF YOU EXPRESS DISCOMFORT. BLOCK AND REPORT THESE TYPE OF PEOPLE, THEY EXHIBIT BEHAVIOR CONSISTENT WITH SEXUAL ABUSE PATTERNS.

Adults and Minors alike please feel free to reblog. It is imperative that young people who don't know these things learn them, because the only thing a predator hates more than a jail cell is a minor who cannot be abused.

[ham-st4r]

𝓳𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓪 𝓬𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓪𝔀𝓪𝔂 𝓹𝓽. 6 - 𝓛. 𝓗𝓮𝓮𝓼𝓮𝓾𝓷𝓰

📞Pairing: heeseung + fem reader!

Warnings: smut, mutual masturbation, dirty talk, pet names, mature jokes, cursing.

Genre: PSO (phone sex operator) heeseung

Number of words: 1,900k

Find your way around!

You called heeseung the next day at that same time, FaceTiming him after he got off work and you were out of school. You both talked and talked for hours, realizing how much you enjoyed just casually chatting with one another after your days had ended, and it soon became a habit.

Calling every other day turned into every day, and months passed by. Heeseung quickly became your best and only friend. Not only did he listen to you attentively and take genuine interest in you, but he also took care of you in a way that no one else had.

He’d guide you to pleasure and instruct you on how to touch yourself in all the right places until you were creaming around your fingers coming undone for him night after night.

At first, you were embarrassed that you were up until the morning up to no good till you found a phone sex website all those months ago, but now, as you talk with heeseung over the phone, you are so glad that you did cause you actually liked him and his company it was rare to meet good people online, but he was your diamond in the rough so to speak.

The only problem was that you couldn’t really take things further. You were miles away from him, and now that you’d be studying abroad, you would be even further away from him.

You didn’t quite know how to tell him, especially cause he was talking about flying to meet you so much recently, and the gesture was so sweet. The fact he would fly just to meet you was unfathomable in itself, but unfortunately, you’d have to turn him down.

“So I was thinking of coming next month if you’re open to that,” he says, looking at you through the phone screen. Your conversations were far more casual now. You both comfortably interacted and talked about anything or nothing at all, sometimes just enjoying one another’s presence or even sharing playlists. Some nights, he’d even set up his phone so you could watch him game. So, needless to say, in the months that have passed, you guys have grown close, and the only logical next step would be meeting up.

“Hee-“ he doesn’t let you finish before he goes into full-blown detail about coming to meet you. Truthfully, he didn’t want to let you speak cause he was afraid of you potentially saying no, so he tried his best to convince you before you gave him a solid answer.

“Look, this is all the money I saved.” he reaches into his drawer, holding up a stack of cash, and your eyes bulge at the amount he made all that from phone sex and a part-time job. “Tickets are cheaper around this time of year, too, so that helps. I’ve already been looking at places to go and sights to see, but I think it’ll be even better if you show me some of your favorite places to visit as well.” he smiles, and your heart fills with warmth from his consideration towards you. “Also,” he raises a sneaky brow, a small pink box coming into the frame. “Got you a little something,” he held out the box in front of the camera, and you gasped. It had to be some type of jewelry. You just hoped he didn’t spend too much; you were happy just spending time talking with him. You didn’t need a gift.

“Hee” you say softly looking over the box. “You didn’t have to meeting. You would be enough of a present.”

“Why thank you,” he says shyly and places the box down. “But I want to. You deserve a present for being my best friend, but maybe I could be your present, and you could unwrap me if you know what I mean,” he winks playfully.

“You’re so stupid,” you say endearingly. “I wish I could hug you right now,” he chuckles softly, wishing for the same exact thing.

“Me too, my angel, so what do you say? How about next month?” He asked, feeling a bit more confident with what your answer would be now that he showed you he was in a position to actually meet you.

You bit your lip, contemplating if you should tell him or not. You were about to cause if you didn’t, that would be unfair to him, but his eyes looked so hopeful that you couldn’t, so you lied. “Yeah next month” you whisper and he grins showing you that beautiful white smile.

“Next month,” he repeated while smiling from ear to ear. “Can’t wait to see you and give you your gift. I know you’ll love it.”

“I’ll love anything you get for me, hee,” you swoon.

“I know, my angel,” he hums. “I’m already thinking about how to spend our night together.”

“Have you now?” You quirk your brow.

“Yes, mam.” he reclined against his bed frame, his biceps on display thanks to his sleeveless shirt, and he looked so rideable at that moment.

“What are we gonna do?” You change the angle of your camera lying on your stomach, and he can see your butt while you kick your feet playfully.

He bites his lip at the sight running a palm over his length. “There’s a little park not far from you, a fancy restaurant that I had to book months in advance, and then I was thinking maybe you’d take me back to your place and show me around, yeah? Specifically, your bed.” his voice drops an octave lower, and it reminds you of the first night you called him. A tingle shoots through your core, your stomach doing the thing as he smiles at you.

“That sounds nice,” you mutter, trying to keep your cool, but you can’t when it’s him.

“That sounds good to you, angel?”

“Yes,” you answer again, a bit more quietly than before, and you feel just as timid as the first time you called him.

“Aww, don’t get all shy on me now. Weren’t you just spread open for me last night, fingers buried deep in your wet pussy while you begged for me to fuck you” he smirks and laughs at your embarrassment as you move out of the frame. “Now say it again, be a good girl,” he encourages, his deep voice sending shivers down your spine.

“Yes,” you say a little louder, but not pleasing enough for him.

“Louder,” he baits you.

“Yes,” your voice shakes, and your face heats up with embarrassment.

“Louder for me, angel, like you were last night,” he groans, his hand pressing on the tent that began to form underneath his pants.

“Yes, heeseung,” you moan, and it sounds so pleasing to his ears.

“Perfect.” You hear his pants unzip, and your eyes widen. “Don’t act surprised. I know you’re wet too, angel” He positions his camera further away so you can see between his legs clearly as he shifts out of his clothing on his lower half freeing his stiff veiny cock. “Fuck” he sighs in relief, running his palm over his cock. “Show me we’ve done this so many times, baby. It’s just me and you,” he whispers.

He’s right. You have done this often, but it didn’t take away any of your shyness while baring yourself to him on camera. The way he spoke to you made you feel like you had all the confidence in the world as you quickly flipped over on the bed, revealing your bottom half to him.

You hear a gasp from his end, and just the sight of between your legs made his eyes roll back in his head. “Now slip those cute little panties to the side and show me what only I get to see,” he grunts, gripping his base and squeezing tightly.

You timidly do as he says, and embarrassingly enough, there’s a thick string of arousal connected to your panties as you push them aside, showing him your tight hole.

“Angel, what are we gonna do with you? If my voice makes you this wet imagine if I was there whispering sweet nothings in your ear, rubbing your clit, and fucking your soaked pussy with this dick” he starts to stroke himself, slowly building up to the pleasure.

You whine helplessly, your hole squeezing so tightly around nothing as you circle your throbbing clit. “Heeseung,” you moan as your other hand busies itself inside your cunt, two dainty fingers filling your little pussy.

“That’s all you’d be able to say is my name after I finish with you,” he laughs breathily, tugging on his long dick until he reaches his tip rubbing his palm in fast circles as precum bubbles on the head. “I’d fuck you so good. The only thing you remember is my dick and my name stuff you so full you can’t even think straight, and the only thing you’ll want when I’m done is for me to do it all over again.”

“Yes, hee” You slip your finger as deep as they can go working fast circles on your overly sensitive clit, and it’s not long before you cum.

“Your pussy looks so good,” he groans. “Bet it’d look even better with my dick shoved deep in it. You’d like that, right angel?”

“Fuck yes, want nothing more than your thick cock filling my insides,” You moan lewdly, losing yourself in bliss as you imagine him doing any and everything to your touch-starved body. “Want to feel your cum inside me? Need you stuffing me full heeseung”

“God, you’re so fucking naughty sometimes” he fondles his balls a little, adding to the already mind-numbing pleasure. “You can have that baby. Every single last inch of my dick belongs to you. Id fill you up for being such a good girl, give you round after round of my warm cum breed your pussy till it’s leaking out of you for days.”

“Yes, need it so bad hee want to feel your cum in me,” you say breathlessly, your walls clenching around your fingers tightly as you came.

Your words made him reach his limit. The idea of filling you with his cum would literally be fulfilling one of his biggest fantasies.

“Fuck I’ll give it to you, ugh,” he whines. “I’m cumming” he announced, rubbing his dick faster until hot white spurts shot out from the tip and coated his tensing stomach.

“Me too” The sight of his face twisted in pleasure, his whiny moans and the amount of cum he spilled for you is what brought you to your second orgasm, rubbing your clit so fast until you were creaming and clenching your digits, wishing it was his cock instead. “Fuck yes,” you sigh, eyes squeezing shut while your orgasm takes over your body, your legs shaking with bliss as he rubs himself through his high, watching the way your body reacts to the pleasure.

Your breaths are heavy, and your fingers slip out of your hole, creamy white following after, and the sight makes heeseung’s cock twitch as he bites his lip. “Wish I could lick you clean, angel fuck” he let go of his soft cock, eyes glazed over with arousal and exhaustion.

“In a month from now,” You giggle softly and huff out a tired breath.

“Yeah, in a month from now,” he smirked, and he could hardly wait.

Thank you for reading. Please reblog and leave feedback! - 🐹

Permanent taglist @hee-pster @hoyeonheeseung @furious-eagle @heehoonsnemo

Just a call away taglist 🔖 @heeseungshim @rayofsunshineeee @fakeuwus @heesquared @skzenhalove @wildflowermooon

[welp-back-on-my-bs]

OM charicters and how they handle periods

Lucifer

- can and will fuck the shir outta ya if it helps-

- he will also baby you

- I mean- he literally sends the brothers out to gather sweets and other needs

- heated blanket on hand for you

- you can sleep in his bed

- he watches over you as you sleep of you get tired

- none will hurt his little lamb

Mammon

- he panicks

- you're BLEEDING WTFFFF

- especially worried and unprepared if you don't identify as a female

- thinks you're dieing and lucifer wil kill him

- when its explained he does good and gets everything he knows you need

- here, have literally all this expensive chocolate he knows you like

- have all the midol he could find

- have the products you need to survive this- and more♡

Levi

- he probably learned about periods trough anime/an online AFAB friend

- he wont mind if you stay with him, he can clean whatever gets blood on it, you chose to spend time with him, he is hapoy with that :>

- anime and video games to distract you

- you can sleep in his lap as he plays

- you get to share his anime themed snacks

Satan

- for those who get moody during hell, he is here to help

- cat Cafe is the haven for you both-

- he also gets his anger out with you in healthy ways

- you both write out everything, scream out your toughts into the Forrest, and sing along to songs that bring out that anger

- afterwards he will read to you until you fall asleep

- he takes good care of you

Asmo

- feeling extra ✨️horny✨️ he is here to help

- he fucks ya fore a few hours then you both have a nice hot bath, makeovers and stuff

- you get sugar coded fruits with him

- sleep like Royalty and wake up feeling refershed✨️

- literally a phone call away for anything

- period products are in his bathroom too

Beel

- this man has the comfort food

- he will allways share with you and Belphie

- he notices when you come to him more often for sweets and stuff, so he stocks more for you ^^

- om nom nom

- one of the best people to nap with

- he is also a good workout bud to help with the cramps n stuff too

- one of the best boys to go to tbh-

Belphie

- now- of you need sleep- he has ya

- he sees you being tired and d r a g s you to one of his spots, cuddles you, and falls asleep with you

- it's fuckin comfy so ofc you fall asleep too-

- you get only the best dreams by his side

- cuddle, sleep, it's done- he won't stop- help QwQ

Diavolo

- the me is that?

- he didn't know until you bleed trough your clothes sadly

- he helps by haveing teas with you and has barbatos find some thar help with cramping and just to make thibgs more comfortable

- sweets galore (you're allowed to take them home

- you can sit on his lap and cuddle him, he is warm

Barbatos

- he knows when your periods are, its not weird-

- he has products set up in the bathroom near the room you're staying in and the next fee over just in case

- he brings you tea and sweets that help you

- he has a change of clothes for you on the ready along with spare blankets/sheets/pillows

- he can take care of any and i mean ANY of your needs, just ask ^^

Simeon

- he isn't that exposed to them, so he dosent know what to do or if he can interfere

- he decides that he can if you beg him enough or he sees that you're suffering

- finds things that can calm the symptoms and help your body

- gentle massages

- he is a little cold but damn can he take care of you

Luke:

- also has no idea wtf to do

- he learns sweets help and bakes alot for you

- like- they all are get well things or if you like to celebrate it then the sweets are red and pink

- he'll tell off anyone who tries to bother you

Solosus

- he has a potion for that

- you just have to beg

- :>

Thirteen

- hasn't had one, but she likes to help you if you promise to help her on a trap

- or you can be the trap by surprising someone with your moodyness

- she gets the perfect things for you

- a damn good tradeoff

Rapael

- like the other angles VERY confused

- he does help tho

- number 2 for sleep spots, no cuddles tho

- gets you weird foods to try

- about 5/10 could be better

Mephistophlies

- bro dosent know anything about this, why should he?

- when he does learn, he sneaks some sweets into your locker, high quality ofc

- he would give you shit as he gives you some spare clothes

- this man, he finds good shit to help ya

[joeburrowshaircurl]

A Lovely Night

summary: You meet Joe for the first time at the movies. Set during the off season of 2024 after the Chiefs won the Super Bowl against the 49ers.

paring: Joe Burrow x shy anxious reader

warnings: fluff, anxious thoughts, social anxiety.

words: 1,502

a/n: sat down and cranked this out all at once. I don't know if I like it. Eyes hurt from proofreading multiple times so apologies if I missed something. For now this the only part. But it could have potential to be multiple parts depending if people like it or not? Maybe? Happy reading y'all!

Solo movie dates had become your thing, but it hadn't always been this way. There had been a time when you had struggled to leave the house for work. Sometimes those days still happened, but for the most part, you were proud of yourself for your newfound sense of freedom. It had taken a lot to get to this point. Watching movies and acting out movies with your friends had always been one of your favorite things to do growing up. As an adult, Saturday Night became a designated 'movie night' as a way to de-stress from the week. Whether it was at home, or at the cinema, depended on what was playing.

The one positive about Covid had been the shift to being able to get tickets online and pick your seat ahead of time so you could get your snacks, and head to your seat to look at your phone without anyone bothering you until the movie started. Or so you thought.

The first time you had seen the handsome tall man was in March during a showing of Dune: Part 2. He'd shown up with two other men after the lights dimmed for the preview trailers and you hated when people showed up late. It was pet peeve as yours, your anxiety often caused you to arrive at least 15 minutes early anywhere you went.

You tried your best to not watch the group as they made their way to their seats, which was in the same row as yours, but a few seats away. You caught glimpses of their faces, the tall one putting his hand up in apology before he sat down. You gave a polite smile before you looked away. Giving a small annoyed huff through your nose, you decided to take a small handful of popcorn and focus on the trailers until the movie started.

You had mentally prepared for the 2 hour and 46 minute run time of the movie, but as the credits rolled and you looked at your watch, you were shocked to see how much time had gone by already. You had been gripped by the movie from start to finish and as you stretched, you noticed the three men were gone which confused you. You hadn't noticed them leave. Did they leave early? Why did they come see Dune if they didn't like Sci-Fi? You brushed it from your mind, figuring you'd never see them again. Especially not the tall one.

The next time you went on a solo date to the movies was only a month later in April. Bill Skarsgård was one of your favorite actors and the movie also happened to release near your birthday so you had decided to see it. Yes you were spending your birthday weekend alone but at this point in your life, you had gotten used to it. You were planning on being a spinster for the rest of your life.

As you made your way to your seat, you had to go by a guy who had his hood up. Thankfully the aisle was large enough where you didn't have to get too close to him, but he was man spreading and had his phone in front of his face. You were more focused on not hitting his foot then tripping and spilling your popcorn everywhere. "G6...G6..."

You had been repeating your seat number quietly to yourself once you had to put your phone in your pocket to carry your drink and popcorn. You always got the same seat in the very back if you could, it was easier to remember. The last thing you wanted to do was sit in someone's spot and embarrass yourself. Little did you know, the man was grinnng as he heard you.

Once you were sitting and set your popcorn bucket carefully on your lap, you triple checked you were in the right seat on the app and breathed a sigh of relief as you get comfortable.

"You okay over there?" You heard a voice to your right.

You looked over, your cheeks turning pink. He looked familiar.....

Then it hit you that it was the same guy who had arrived during the trailers last month when you had gone to the movies to see Dune Part 2. But his friends weren't with him this time.

"Oh, yes." You smiled at the man, meeting his eyes before quickly looking down and away and back at your phone. Great, now he was going to think you are crazy. You glanced over at him to see him looking at his phone. Then you looked around the theatre. There wasn't many people here yet. He was early for once.

"A-are you excited for the movie?" Your heart was pounding as you tried to make small talk. Had he even heard you? It was a bad habit of yours to mumble when you were nervous.

He set his phone down when he heard you and looked over at you. "Ehhh not excited, but it's something to do, gets me out of the house." He smiled at you. You were struck by his smile, his teeth were so white. Suddenly you were self conscious of your smile. "You?"

It took a second for you to process that he was keeping the conversation going. "Me? Oh a little bit. I'm a Skarsgård fan, I promise I won't giggle too much. I just find him an excellent actor. I'm just doing something fun for my birthday." It had slipped out before you knew it. The last thing you wanted was sympathy. What was so bad about spending time alone? Nothing, you thought.

Your heart sank as you noticed the frown appear almost instantly on his face. "You are spending your birthday alone? Your friends aren't taking you out? That's no good. Well happy birthday." He smiled again, and you felt your cheeks get warm.

"Thank you. My birthday isn't today but it is the birthday weekend, as they say. I don't have many friends here besides my co workers." You weren't even sure if you could count co workers as friends as you were strict about keeping work separate from your personal life. "I haven't been in Cincinnati long."

His eyebrows raised slightly. "Oh really? Where did you move from?"

"Boston." Should you be telling a stranger this? Probably should have said a different city.

"Ahh beantown." he grinned and you wanted to roll your eyes.

"Yes, but locals don't call it that." But you'd like it slide, he was cute.

"Oh I'm sorry. I'm Joe by the way. He was only a few seats away from you and reached over to extend his hand out so you could shake it. You moved your popcorn off your lap to the free seat next to you so you could reach out and shake his hand back. His grip wasn't too strong which you appreciated it, but it was still strong, he was respectful.

"I'm-" The lights dimmed and that quieted you before you could introduce yourself. The first trailer started quickly and you and Joe settled into your seats to watch the screen. But a dim light to your right caught your attention as you saw Joe texting. It was a thing that often happened during movies now, which ground your gears. But Joe didn't text long thankfully and you saw him putting his phone in his pocket out of the corner of your eye.

The lights brightened in the theatre as the movie was over and Joe looked over at you. "What did you think?" He asked as he stood up. It was then you realized how tall he was. You were quite short compared to him.

"It was funnier than I expected it to be for a revenge movie." You said as you got up and gathered your things. It was late and you wanted to get home to eat the cupcake you had bought yourself as a birthday treat.

"I felt the same, not sure how well it will do at the box office though."

You couldn't help but smile, it was refreshing meeting someone who also also appeared to have a deep passion for movies.

Joe walked side by side with you out of the theatre and into the evening air. "I'm meeting my friends Tee and Ja'Marr for dinner, you can come if you like so you aren't spending your birthday alone. Just throwing it out there. I can give you the directions to the place. They came with me when I first saw you at Dune 2."

He remembered! You were floored. Should you be creeped out? No you had made eye contact at Dune and you hadn't seen him again before tonight so he couldn't be stalking you.

You released a breath you hadn't realized you had been holding. You hadn't liked the thought of being in a strangers car so suddenly, you were relived that you could take your own car and escape when you wanted to. New friends couldn't hurt in this new city either. It was time to get even more out of your shell.

"Sure, I'd like that, thank you." You smiled before you handed your phone over so he could find it on the maps app for you.

...little did you know, he was also putting his number in your phone.

[hanna-hhhhhh]

I just saw something which really irked me. There was a video and it was like “what’s the worst marauder fic” and then everyone was saying what they think the worst fic is in the comments….

PEOPLE WRITE THESE FOR FREE. IN THEIR OWN TIME. Like I’m not being funny but: they write it for free, edit them and make sure they are good enough for people to read (even if they don’t edit them they are still writing pieces of work for your enjoyment with 0 profit for what they produce or for their time they spend on it).

If you don’t have anything nice to say about a fic or anything someone has produced (especially if it’s made for other people without the creator charging for the works) then just don’t say anything 🤷‍♀️

If you really don’t like it then stop reading? Maybe don’t interact with it? Maybe block the creator/mute the account if you really want to.

There’s never an excuse to critic a piece of work, whether that be publicly or to the creator in private, keep it to yourself! And even if the creator asks you for constructive criticism keep it nice and civil because it’s supposed to be CONSTRUCTIVE!!!!

And really, how do you think the authors of these works feel seeing you slam the work they produce online for everyone to see, blatantly calling it the ‘worst fic’ or that you ‘hate the fic’ purely because ‘the ship is a red flag’. THAT’S YOUR OPINION. IT’S NOT EVERYONES. So keep it to yourselves!

Your little comment being horrible about the fic and shaming the writing can:

A) influence people not to read the fic simply because they don’t feel they should because of your comment.

B) they may end up stopping writing altogether.

They create these for fandoms, for our enjoyment. Please be grateful. Authors have feelings too.

[lovecla]

© property of lovecla, nhl masterlist, nico hischier x you.

FAKE IT ‘TILL YOU MAKE IT, phase three:

<last chapter>

➴ chapter warnings: none :)

➴ word count: 2.5k

💌 from me to you: woke up with devils win and 500 followers this is INSANE! i never thought i’d have 20 followers let alone 500, literally half a thousand. thank you so much. i love you. also, if you haven’t seen it yet, here’s the story’s universe masterlist!

𖧷

𖧷

A MONTH had passed since you and Nico started fake-dating each other.

You’ve already lost count of how many dates you both went to, how many times he’d held your hand or how many times you called him “baby” in front of his friends.

You can’t really say you’re fine, because you’re not. Apart from the lying thing not really being your thing, it’s exhausting to pretend that what you feel for Nico is just compassion and empathy.

Lying to your friends is terrible and you feel like the worst person ever, especially knowing that you all swore to always tell the truth about everything to each other.

But what really makes you hate yourself is the fact that you can’t help but feel like you’re lying to Nico too. You enjoy way too much the time you spend with him, and you pretend that what you both have is true whenever you’re with him, which isn’t part of the deal you both made. At all.

But now, it doesn’t matter, because today, out of all days, is the most important day of your fake-dating thing.

Today is Friday, and the Devils are going to play against the Chicago Blackhawks. And not only that, but some sort of dinner is going to happen after the game, and no one other than Nora Ellis is going to be there.

So, all this time, all this training, all this faking, led you and Nico to this day. The day you’ll both see if Nora will finally reach out to Nico.

And your plan already went well since last week Nico called you after his game to tell you the news.

“Hi?” you say as you answer the phone, balancing it between your cheeks and shoulder as you continue to cook dinner, stirring the chicken in the oven with a fork. “Nico?”

“Hi, Em,” he says back and you can tell he’s got the biggest smile on his face just by the tone of his voice. “Can you talk right now?”

You close the oven door with your feet and grab your phone with your right hand, properly adjusting it against your ear. “Yeah, sure. What’s up?”

“So, I just got home, right?” he sounds so freaking excited that your heart decides it’s enough to make you happy for the entire week.

“Right?”

“And I opened Instagram to check some shit and you won’t believe it. Nora just followed me and liked three of my most recent photos.”

You stare at the clock that sits on top of your fridge, not really reading the time, just looking and thinking. Of course Nora would do something like this as soon as you and Nico started being more obvious both online and offline.

It infuriates you. It makes you feel something ugly inside your chest, and you have to close your eyes for a few seconds so you can focus. You can’t ruin this for him. Nico’s too precious for you to fuck this up.

“Em?”

“Oh my God, that’s so cool!” you put on your best fake excited face and try your hardest to sound happy. “Did you follow her back?”

Please say no, please say no.

“I kind of already followed her…” he coughs, and you can hear some movement. “But that’s a good thing, right? Your plan is working.”

You bite your lip hard enough to bleed, and the pain brings you back to the present time.

“It’s not… my plan only,” you stutter. “This is teamwork.”

“No, baby,” Nico chuckles. “This is all you. All of this is happening thanks to you.”

This is all you.

“Sure,” you whisper, squeezing the phone. “I’m glad it’s working, then.”

All of this is too confusing, but you don’t have time to try to understand what’s really going on inside you. You have a dinner and a game to attend, and you’ll be on your best behavior.

Thankfully, you managed to convince Mia and Ella to come with you, so when you leave your house and find Mia’s car parked in front of your door you smile, relieved.

At least you wouldn’t have to go through this by yourself.

“Hi, lovelies,” you greet them as you sit in the back seat, kissing both of them on the cheek. “Thanks for the ride.”

“Hi, Em.” Ella smiles at you, always the sweet angel she is.

“Hi, baby,” Mia also grins widely, turning the car on and getting out of the parking spot. “You look so freaking good.”

You look down at your own clothes: Nico’s jersey that he gave you a few weeks ago when you had to attend one of his games, a black, mini-skirt and boots.

“Thanks,” you smile. “I like it too.”

“You look like the perfect WAG.” Mia jokes and you laugh, as Ella shakes her head.

“Well, that’s probably what they’re calling me online so I might as well get used to the name.” You shrug, looking through the window.

“Don’t listen to them, Em,” Ella says, looking at you through the mirror. “They’re just mean and rude.”

“Fuck the haters!” Mia shouts.

“Yeah,” Ella smiles. “I guess you could also say that.”

𖧷

𖧷

NICO LOOKS like a god.

He plays like one too, defying gravity and moving so fast your eyes can’t barely see where he’s going.

The arena is somewhat full, and you already lost count of how many people took photos of you and your friends, even when you’re in a secluded area, near the ice.

The shouts, the loud music and the sound of the puck being thrown from one side to the other is overwhelming, but you get through the first and second period just fine, Mia and Ella helping you a lot— you laughed more than you watched the game, and if you’re being honest, you were more interest in the gossip Mia was telling you than in the scoreboard.

Still, Nico looks good in his Hockey uniform. Good enough to eat. And even though you know you shouldn’t be thinking things like this, you keep telling yourself that, as long as no one knows what you’re really thinking, it will be fine.

“Here we go.” You hear Mia’s unamused voice and you turn your head back to the game, only to realize there was a huge fight going on.

“It’s so violent.” Ella murmurs beside you, and usually you’d just laugh at her sweetness and tell her that’s just how Hockey works, but when you catch a glimpse of the number thirteen in the midst of the sea of bodies and gloves being thrown, you can help but gasp out loud.

“Oh my God. It’s Nico!” You jump on your seat, getting close to the glass in front of you. “Nico is punching someone!”

“Geez, this is gold.” Mia laughs beside you but you can’t even get mad at her, you’re too focused on the punch party unfolding in front of your eyes.

It’s not the first fight you see, but it’s the first time you see Nico getting involved. It’s the first time you watch a fist hit his perfect, angelic face and it’s the first time you watch him throw the punch back.

He’s winning the fight, a small blessing, but you can see blood on his cheek, and your heart shrinks to the size of a pea.

“Why are the refs just watching?” You say, louder than you probably should’ve. But people are busy watching the fight, so you keep going. “Do something, man!”

As Nico throws another punch, the refs finally decide to jump in and separate all of the players. Nico ends up in the penalty box alongside Jack, who decided that protecting his captain was more important than keeping up with a clean game.

“I wish Jack had gotten punched in the face.” Mia sighs, like the fact that Jack’s face’s still pretty and intact annoys her.

“Mia!” Ella reprimands her, like a mother would, and you can tell they’re going to start their daily bickering about how Mia should stop fighting Jack (from Ella’s point of view) and how Jack should stop being an asshole (from Mia’s point of view).

You stare at Nico sitting in the penalty box with his head down, and you want nothing but to go there and hug him. You know he’s a big boy, and you also know that he was the one who started the fight (and won it), but you feel bad anyway.

The rest of the game flies by and you’re eager to see Nico. You want to hold him and ask him if he’s alright, or if he’s hurt and in pain. You want to see those two dimples adorning his cheeks like they always do, and you want to look into his hazelnut eyes and want them to look back at you.

That’s why you don’t even think twice before walking faster when you spot him entering the room where the dinner would be held, and that’s also why you hug him tightly, surprising him and everyone around you.

“Oh, hey, there.” Is what he says, and you catch yourself inhaling his clean, soapy scent before removing your face from his neck and standing in front of him, your eyes scanning his entire face, barely blinking as you stare at the bruise on his cheek.

“You scared me,” you can’t help but pout— it’s only natural when you’re this upset. “I look away for a second and when I look back you’re there, in the middle of everyone, throwing punches here and there and for what?”

“The guy was an asshole, Em,” he chuckles, only to wince with pain afterwards.

“You’re hurt, Nico,” you whisper, caressing his face with the back of your hand. “It’s not funny…”

“It’s Hockey, baby,” he shrugs. “I’ll end up getting hurt in one way or another.”

“I know, I know,” you whisper. “I just wish it wasn’t like this.”

Before he can answer, someone with a huge camera takes a photo of the two of you and it probably looks awful— you had a worried expression on your face, pouty lips, arms wrapped around Nico’s neck and you were also standing on your tiptoes.

“What—”

“Can I get a photo of the two of you?” the man, probably the photographer, asks and you’re suddenly too stunned to speak. One thing is for you and Nico to post subtle, faceless pictures of each other on your Instagram, another completely different one is for one of the team’s official photographers to take a picture of the two of you as a couple and post it everywhere.

“Well—”

“Yeah, you can,” Nico, always the nice, cool guy, answers for both of you, and before you can explain to him why this isn't a great idea at all, you feel his arms around your waist pulling you closer to his body, while your arms are still resting on his neck.

You try to remove them, only to have Nico tsc-ing at you. “Keep them there.”

You nod, dumbfounded, smiling at the camera in front of you, wincing slightly when the flash momentarily hits your face.

“Beautiful!” the man smiles, angling the camera again. “Now what about a kiss?”

You feel Nico’s body freeze beside yours, and you can sense how tense he is.

“Oh, I don’t think—” he starts speaking, stuttering a lot for someone who has just been asked something as simple as kissing his girlfriend. He’s red too, cheeks flushed like maple leaves during October. “Kids will see that, no?”

“Just a tiny peck, it’s no biggie—”

“Man, no—”

“Come on, captain, give the fans what they want—”

You’re about to intervene in their bickering when you see her. Nora walks in like she owns the place, holding her father’s arm with an elegance that should be illegal. She’s wearing a red, tight dress that holds her curves in all of the right places, her hair is braided and down and her gold jewelry matches her dark-skin so freaking well.

She’s stunning and she’s breathtaking and she’s looking at you and Nico.

“Nico, kiss me.” You whisper, and Nico looks at you with a worried expression.

“Em, we don’t have to do this, it’s fine,” he squeezes your waist and turns his head around, ready to tell the guy to fuck off probably, but you grab his chin and turn his head back to you.

“Nico Hischier, kiss me. Right. Now.”

You don’t give him enough time to answer, you just glue your lips together. His eyelids fluttered closed just seconds before you leaned in, as you closed your own eyes. It was slow at first, tentative, a brief connection that hung in the air before it deepened.

Your lips parted, and his followed, a soft press that turned into something warmer, more certain. Your hands found his arms, a quiet reassurance, while his fingers traced the curve of your jaw, the warmth of your skin sending a ripple of sensation through him.

Nico’s heartbeat was a rhythm, steady but quickening, like the rise and fall of the breath between you. There was a sweetness to it, a soft and tender give-and-take, as you were both tasting each other for the first time, exploring the familiar and the unknown in the same breath.

When you pulled apart, only a fraction of a second later, the world rushed back—sounds, light, movement—but there was still that lingering warmth, a spark that hadn’t quite faded.

And neither of you said anything, not yet. You just stood there for a moment, the kiss still hanging between you, both a question and an answer all at once.

“Woof,” the photographer laughs, putting the camera down. “Now that’s what we’ve been waiting for. Thanks, Cap, thanks Mrs. Roberts.”

Neither of you say anything, because you’re both too busy staring at each other like two…

Idiots.

“Emma—”

“Well, don’t you two make the best couple in town?”

You didn’t expect her voice to be this penetrating, this ethereal. But of course it is. It’s perfect, just like everything else about Nora Ellis.

“Mrs. Ellis,” you hear yourself saying, and suddenly, all of the feelings you didn’t even have time to process after kissing Nico become something horrendous and awful. “Thank you.”

“No need to be so formal, Emma, we’re the same age,” she flicks her hand, addressing you like you’ve been friends for the past ten years. “It’s just Nora for you,” she turns to Nico, her eyes showing something that makes you feel even worse. “And for Nico.”

Nico smiles, but it doesn’t really reach his eyes. “Nora. Nice to finally meet you.”

“Likewise,” she bites her lip, smiling afterwards. It makes you sick to your stomach, and you remove your hands from Nico, placing them on your tummy. “So nice to finally meet you.”

Her words keep replying inside your head for the rest of the night, and you’re reminded of what you’re doing there in the first place.

You’re with Nico to make Nora Ellis fall in love with him.

You’re certainly not with Nico to make him fall in love with you, or the other way around.

<next chapter>