#I do not have motivation for anything currently

[vigilskeep]

Do we know enough about how Crow succession and talonship works to believe it would be possible for Viago to take the seat of first talon either through some sort of non-violent coup in the absence of an heir to house Dellamorte or through marrying his kid (rook) off to Lucanis? Asking because I really don't know and would love to write something in that direction...and you seem a crow enthusiast...also love your blog

THEORETICALLY. yes.

we haven’t seen the talons shift directly, but they do shift, with regularity. house arainai was first talon in living memory and then fell slowly downwards to their current point where they’re struggling in and out of eight talon like a drowning man who keeps finding his way to air for just enough breath

the eight talons system, if you’ll allow me the tangent, is a really fascinating choice of fantasy hierarchy because it is such a clear hierarchy. among a bunch of ambitious killers whose prime goal is notoriety. you can only hold each position here if everyone below you is too afraid to do anything about it. what an anxiety trip it must be to decide whether to push someone down just one rung or to try to destroy them entirely; do you want to leave your rival with more opportunity or more motivation? but crow power is also all about theatre, all about perception—you are first or fifth or seventh talon primarily because everyone agrees that you are—so making a failed gambit for a higher talon has got to be incredibly damaging. which is a risky setup. it discourages attempts, but when someone does make an attempt, they will not be fucking around

anyway ignore all that we’re talking about soft takeovers today. okay so house dellamorte has a dying core family, theoretically. we’re making the assumption that no surviving young children from any branch of the family are mentioned because none exist. we have two heirs, neither very acceptable (my apologies to caterina’s delusions), both men in their 30s with (again, assumed) no children, and neither making much progress in that regard. (arguably dependent on player choice when it comes to lucanis, but since he can fall in love with and express his undying devotion to any kind of rook, we can at least say he’s not making that much effort.) within a generation the core family may die out. but that is a LONG TIME to wait. you still have to deal with the current ones, they’re pretty robust

lucanis is the current first talon as of the end of veilguard. can he be convinced to give this up and hand first talon over to someone better suited? i do believe it. mostly because i need to believe, for my mental health, that we can get him out of there. but he also now has a fairly bulky support system full of people who love him and will notice how bad this is going to be and convince him he deserves things like a life he doesn’t hate

as always your main problem is caterina. caterina is not going to allow a takeover, soft or otherwise, while she is still alive. caterina didn’t give up first talon when they murdered her children. there’s probably an emotional plot in here where she can be made to accept what she’s done to her family, far too late, but with time left to save just one by letting him go. on the other hand, i’ve also been experimenting with plots in my mind where she tries to quietly get rid of viago or romanced rook for having too much influence, with the added benefit on hopefully being able to steel & refocus lucanis on defending the house against whoever she frames. or plots where she blames lucanis trying to leave and not being the boy she remembers on his, you know, demonic possession, and attempts to forcibly remove or destroy spite. so. there’s potential ups and downs, here.

i don’t know how helpful rook de riva/lucanis is. most of your problem here is that everything that sets this ending up by giving the de rivas more power, and by giving any rook more power over lucanis, is something that in my mind would crank caterina’s wariness all the way up. house de riva surely has to move up from fifth already after the events of the game and look more like a contender, and i don’t think even caterina’s delusions about lucanis’ suitability for first talon could make her blind to the effect rook can obviously have. i definitely think she would delay on a marriage and have the power to do that

i think it’s worth saying that rook de riva at any point bringing up to lucanis the idea of handing things over to viago would be a hell of a conversation. i know lucanis never remotely suspects rook of any agenda and trusts them completely, and i know i agree with rook here, but you’ve GOT to see how “i love you and having power is bad for you and what you should do is hand it all over to my talon” sounds. i truly could not blame him for a bit of doubt here especially if caterina was around to suggest it

sorry this is a completely messy and disconnected response. i don’t even know if i had a point. you might have to wait for caterina to actually die? is that my point? i can see rook de riva/lucanis being helpful to ease a transition of power to house de riva then. i also think it’s worth pointing out that teia might be the better contender for all this out of the two lovebirds. what quietly makes teia probably the most dangerous talon in the crows, if she ever chose to be, is that everyone likes her. i’m not joking or trying to handwave crow politics, it’s a form of soft power and the result of her cultivated skill that nobody ever suspects teia of anything. even caterina treats her gently, and literally a talon who tried to murder all the others in tevinter nights was delaying murdering her because she was his favourite. if anyone can handle a gentler transition like what we’re talking about, maybe it’s more likely to be teia

[lu-is-not-ok]

Again, since Sin Resources are even in-text described as feelings the Sinners themselves feel (from Sign of Roses observation log, describing the mechanic of sapping Sin Resources: "It was like some… emotion in me was getting snapped in half." and "Everyone told me that it was as though the bottled—up feelings inside them were melting away.") I don't see how it can be argued to be coming from anyone else other than Gregor himself.

The reason why it's possible for the Lust to "come from his arm" rather than specifically Gregor himself is because, despite his perception of it being otherwise, they are both still inherently part of one being. After all, his arm is a PTSD allegory - even if he may see it as him not being himself when in the middle of reliving his trauma, it is still a part of him. This does not apply with Hermann - a completely different person with seperate feelings and experiences.

There is currently no precedent for a situation where someone's E.G.O requires the feelings and experiences to come from a Completely Different Person. You'd have to have a really good reason for such a massive break from the rules and conventions to happen, especially when E.G.O are as a concept so inherently tied to the very self using them, to the point where E.G.O of the same abnormality can represent vastly different things for different people. It's a leap in logic that I simply can't stand by when the explanation of Lust coming from Gregor himself, just simply a part of himself that he wishes to be divorced from, is much more fitting with established lore and still explains why he can't fuel it himself.

I never disagreed with you on the fact of emotional and spiritual fulfillment being a part of Lust - it very much is so. But to say it has nothing to do with the idea of base desires at all is to actively ignore a massive amount of visual motives, design choices, and narrative points.

Base desires in this case aren't just, as you put it, "cannibalistic eating and fucking". Human connection could be said to be a base desire in the context of Limbus's narrative as well - aren't so many stories in Project Moon's world focused on how people will form relationships and care for one another even when the world actively stands in their way and punishes them for it? Humans are inherently social creatures after all.

Isn't that the point of Heathcliff's Lust, that his wish to connect with Catherine is so strong that he's willing to do anything to earn her back? Isn't that why for Erlking that Lust is replaced with Gloom, since he has fully abandoned that wish and instead is focused on destroying every Heathcliff that contributed to hurting Catherine? You could argue this Lust counts as emotional fulfillment too, but it's certainly no "higher goal" - it's a simple base desire of being cared for and to care for another, born in a household where such care was actively witheld.

Also the interpretation that Bloodfiends somehow seek out "enkephalin" is just. Straight up wrong and I have no idea where you got it from SFGHGF. We know Enkephalin comes from the central nervous system, Faust says so in Canto 1: "Enkephalin can only be extracted from the brain and the spinal nerves." It has no connection to blood whatsoever.

The Bloodfiends explicitly need Blood, the difference here however is that it's not a literal physical need - it's a conceptual one. It's not that the Blood they consume is Literally Consumed For The Emotions Held Within, but rather that, conceptually, to them Blood is everything they are. It's the culmination of their being - their feelings, ambitions, worth, reasons for existence. Without Blood, there is no Bloodfiend, because on a conceptual level it's the only thing their self is. It's a base need inherent to them as beings on an abstract level.

It works similarly to how Mermaids are formed through their human selves becoming one with the Whale that digests them, down to the conceptual level where it becomes impossible to tell where the human the Mermaid used to be ends and where the Whale it is now a part of begins. Or how many Singularities work by directly interacting with abstract concepts rather than physical reality, like K Corp's Tears bringing things back to a conceptual "previous state" and thus requiring to be processed with an idea, a concept of what that previous state even is in the first place to be able to work properly.

The connection between Lust and Addiction is explicitly made through the Mirror Dungeon floor packs - one of the Lust-themed floor packs has the name "Addicting Lust". Also, while Gregor does smoke, he is never actively pointed out to be smoking as much as Ryoshu does - someone who is consistently called out for being a chainsmoker to the point Vergilius only ever refers to her when telling people to not smoke on the bus. When Gregor is shown to smoke, it's primarily done in response to negative emotions - he's stress smoking, a Gloom-tinted action rather than Ryoshu's Lust-tinted chain addiction, which she does so frequently and unconditionally that she knows the exact time it takes her to finish a cigarette.

Goddammit the two-in-one theory is even supported by GAMEPLAY MECHANICS

HONG LU'S BASE ID IS SPLIT BETWEEN RUPTURE AND SINKING

Yuuup. I haven't mentioned it on here but yup.

Fun fact, he's the only Base Identity who uses two of the Major Status Effects rather than the usual one!

And just to add to it in case you think that doesn't matter - Faust is the only Base Identity who doesn't inflict any Major Status Effect, and we know she usually sees herself as more of a vessel for the Gesselschaft than a seperate person herself.

So clearly, there has to be Something to it.

[screamingcrows]

I haven't played the new archon quests yet

[cripplepunkbarbarian]

I am so glad that the kid spectrals have such normal and caring spirits who will definitely not physically endanger and/or cruelly betray them in the midst of their lives already being destroyed by cults, monsters, and interpersonal drama. It’s so cool and nice 👍

[naivety]

So long as the political and economic system remains intact, voter enfranchisement, though perhaps resisted by overt white supremacists, is still welcomed so long as nothing about the overall political arrangement fundamentally changes. The facade of political equality can occur under violent occupation, but liberation cannot be found in the occupier’s ballot box. In the context of settler colonialism voting is the “civic duty” of maintaining our own oppression. It is intrinsically bound to a strategy of extinguishing our cultural identities and autonomy.

[...]

Since we cannot expect those selected to rule in this system to make decisions that benefit our lands and peoples, we have to do it ourselves. Direct action, or the unmediated expression of individual or collective desire, has always been the most effective means by which we change the conditions of our communities. What do we get out of voting that we cannot directly provide for ourselves and our people? What ways can we organize and make decisions that are in harmony with our diverse lifeways? What ways can the immense amount of material resources and energy focused on persuading people to vote be redirected into services and support that we actually need? What ways can we direct our energy, individually and collectively, into efforts that have immediate impact in our lives and the lives of those around us? This is not only a moral but a practical position and so we embrace our contradictions. We’re not rallying for a perfect prescription for “decolonization” or a multitude of Indigenous Nationalisms, but for a great undoing of the settler colonial project that comprises the United States of America so that we may restore healthy and just relations with Mother Earth and all her beings. Our tendency is towards autonomous anti-colonial struggles that intervene and attack the critical infrastructure that the U.S. and its institutions rest on. Interestingly enough, these are the areas of our homelands under greatest threat by resource colonialism. This is where the system is most prone to rupture, it’s the fragility of colonial power. Our enemies are only as powerful as the infrastructure that sustains them. The brutal result of forced assimilation is that we know our enemies better than they know themselves. What strategies and actions can we devise to make it impossible for this system to govern on stolen land? We aren’t advocating for a state-based solution, redwashed European politic, or some other colonial fantasy of “utopia.” In our rejection of the abstraction of settler colonialism, we don’t aim to seize colonial state power but to abolish it. We seek nothing but total liberation.

Voting Is Not Harm Reduction - An Indigenous Perspective

[an-obligatory-blog]

Thinking about this post I made again because the more I think about it, the more I am glad that Infinite was not in Shadow Generations and the more anxious I am when he finally does.

Because I have like, conjured this idea in my head of how I want Infinite to return-- something that retains what was established in Forces (including his "unlikable" aspects) while progressing his character in a way that is one 1) meaningful, 2) not a complete joke, and 3) gives incentive to use him again and not shelf him forever after one more appearance. But the more I'm convinced of my vision, the more I think "there's no way this is happening" because very often, attempts to "fix" the character comes with an inherent lack of respect to a character's current traits-- erasing instead of working with what they have. Think of past (and I guess current) sentiments of "fixing" Amy and all the discourse that was spawned from it. I feel like I have tunneled myself into future disappointment as an Infinite fan and the fandom would be less resistant to it than Amy because I feel like people are more likely to accept whatever as long it isn't carbon copy of Forces.

Which is a shame because the main flaw of Infinite in Forces, imo, isn't that he's a "fraud", but that his backstory is empty. If your definition of "fixing" Infinite is to establish an understandable reason for his breakdown and flesh out his relationship with his squad without changing any of the story beats, you did not write an AU where "Infinite but what if he's a good character". What you wrote is a legitimate interpretation of Infinite because Forces said nothing about why he had that reaction Shadow or really anything about his squad. Sonic Team could legitimately take that and not have to call it a retcon because of how little it contradicts anything since, again, the issue was that it's "empty" not "rotten". To begin with, assuming that "Infinite's motive is nothing more than a tantrum" is just as much of a presumption as someone's fic coming up the most tragic sob story for Infinite to justify the events of Forces; it just that the former is the simplest explanation to fill the holes that Forces' less than stellar writing left behind and thus, the impression he leaves on the public.

If what I described is enough to "fix" Infinite in your eyes, then you may not hate Infinite as a character as much as you may think you do. It's not like it contradicts hating Forces' writing.

And I know that's not everyone-- there are plenty of people who rather have literally anyone else as the villain, someone who isn't a "fraud" or someone who is more "badass/cool" or even someone that embraces "lameness" as a primary trait aka a joke character. The most common sentiment I find on Infinite is "he is a character with a lot of potential, so I would like to see him back with better execution", but what do you mean by "potential"? What does this "better execution" look like? It seems like an opinion that the Sonic fandom can unite under on the surface, but I think that the moment Infinite were to hypothetically return, the division between who is satisfied and who isn't will surface.

Or maybe it won't. Maybe Infinite isn't important enough worry about how much of his original self is preserved or what a natural progression with him looks like as long as its paired with writing that's more palatable to the audience. If people were to go online and fight for something more in-line with his characterization in Forces, would anyone care? Wouldn't be more likely that such sentiments are deemed stupid?

I am glad that Infinite didn't show up in Shadow Generations because he doesn't belong there. Mephiles, Black Doom, even Metal Madness-- you can argue that they represent something to Shadow, but not Infinite. It's /Shadow/ who represents something to Infinite the same way Sonic represents something to the Avatar but not the other way around. It's possible to progress Infinite in a way that changes that, but that's not happening in a story that centers Shadow and his past because Infinite has nothing to do with that. All people expected from a possible Infinite appearance is the "I don't remember you" treatment (which again, already happened in Forces) that Mephiles ended up getting-- he doesn't represent anything that Mephiles, a character who is meant to reflect Shadow down to his appearance, doesn't already.

But Infinite could always appear when SEGA feels like it-- frankly, it was harder to bring back Mephiles given that he was wiped from the timeline but look at him here now. If he comes back and his character is taken in a direction that I don't like, is that me being close-minded? His backstory is empty so his "potential" is "infinite", but is anyone, including myself, willing to accept what's outside of what we consider ideal? I'd like to imagine that my ideas for him would be something that would make us all happy, but is that even possible, much less true? Maybe those are useless questions. We can only evaluate things that exists.

Infinite isn't a character that belong to me nor do I have any semblance of authority over him but falling in love left me feeling possessive. I feel arrogant and hypocritical-- thinking that canonical material that wouldn't meet my standards is better off not existing while trying to appreciate controversial material that many would not miss. I keep doing it because if not me, who else is going to think the way I do-- hating the exact things I hate and liking the exact things I like? A lot of Sonic fans do this, I think, so at least I'm not special. It makes you feel based as hell.

late night infinite thoughts/hc/analysis

despite being clowned on for his Ls and "i'm not weak" scene, i don't think infinite particularly childish? or more specifically not in the specific brand of "pathetic sore loser" that's been memed on. like he doesn't feel like the type of character who would throw a tantrum/be visibly upset if he can help it (particularly in front of shadow since that's the guy he's pitted against).

it's not that i don't understand why he left that impression-- the way shadow dlc told his background would ofc lead ppl to feel that it was an overreaction for being kicked a couple of times, but the thing is, we saw how he reacted when he met shadow again and what he said after being told that the hedgehog didn't remember him.

(using screencaps of the jp script, but i'm p sure en is the same jist)

sure, infinite is gassing himself up in this scene because of his shiny new rock, but when i saw this scene, my immediate thought was "so you think you aren't someone worth remembering"? (which can also be extended to his squad mates who were also defeated and thus "weak", regardless if you think they are dead or not) he's not particularly angry in this scene-- if anything, he admits that shadow's words of him being a loser (and thus weak) is /fact/.

hence why i think that infinite hates himself more than he could ever hate shadow. he can hide it by saying "well that's just the old me, i've changed. look at my virtual reality of green hill" but that mask isn't just for show. past or present, he is still himself even if he pretends otherwise. he is insecure, that's true. it's also true that his ego is fragile and that it hangs on his ability to suppress others.

however, his ego isn't unshakable at the face of failure or incapable of self-reflection, even if he wishes it was. the denial phase doesn't last forever.

to put it in another way, he's not the type of sore loser who will go "the other guy must've cheated" or "it's not fair" and deny the other person of their achievement. he's the type of sore loser who becomes frustrated with himself, trains himself to exhaustion, maybe cheat himself if tempted (you'll have to convince him that it would be a meaningful victory if he does though, (re. his logic on relying on magic rock ok, but relying on friends is bad and fake, apparently)), and fall into despair if his efforts don't pay off. that's really what his "i'm not weak" breakdown really is to me-- falling into despair and eventually accepting that he is powerless.

with high ego, he may dismiss losses as a fluke, but that requires plausible deniability to be present to fall back on. my point is that his arrogance doesn't come across as stable, it's just that conquering 99% of the world would convince anyone that they are hot shit.

also, he's not bad at /hiding/ his insecurity. insecurity isn't an aspect that was just added to him in the dlc and thus "ruining" him-- he just hides it well when he started wearing the mask. he only showed a mote of desperation by the end of his final boss fight. before that, we had sonic and the avatar breaking out from null space in record time and while eggman was in shock, infinite just stared silently-- he retained a "mysterious" aura for most of the game despite multiple setbacks. his ability to hide his emotions without his mask is up to you, but at the very least, he would at least /try/ to cover up anything he deems "unsightly".

what i'm trying to say is, i think he'd be upset being called weak, but i don't think that specific "overreaction" he had in shadow dlc is just something that happens every time he's insulted, esp when his ego is in a more stable state.

why he's so fixated about strength and weakness is pure hc territory bc forces writing sure as hell didn't explain it, but i think it's safe to say that he wasn't stable before his encounter with shadow and no matter how many ppl think that his motives are "stupid", this was something that meant a great deal to infinite. why it took until shadow for the camel's back to be snapped, idk maybe something happened to him earlier or maybe not, but regardless, infinite appears to be someone who is very desperate to be proud of himself and he measures how much he is worthy of pride through "strength". those who are strong don't think of those weaker than them, to him. (re. him saying that it's fine that shadow didn't remember his past self, and following up with "you're nothing to me now" bc he believes that he is now stronger than him. also note his quirk in jp where he calls ppl "gomi" (in katakana)/trash, idk jp well i just think it's neat)

this "fraud" quality of infinite's is something i find appealing as his fan, and not in the "i think it's brilliant to have a joke character that parodies edgelords" kind of way (infinite isn't purposefully meant to be joke and i don't think he has to be in order to be "good" with his current backstory). to segway into a different conversation, i don't care of the take that "infinite should've been an artificial lifeform like shadow created by eggman" bc to be frank (and i apologize if this is too spicy of a take), i don't see the benefit to that other than to give infinite more "aura points" by erasing his backstory as a "fraud". (bc a villain that doesn't meet the "aura" threshold is bad, i guess.)

bc here's the thing, right-- there are a lot of things you can compare and contrast between shadow and infinite and create a meaningful analysis out of it, but remember that infinite is the main villain of sonic forces and that sonic forces... is not about shadow.

sonic forces, if anything, is the avatar's story. the avatar is infinite's primary foil.

shadow defeating infinite parallels infinite defeating the avatar (at the start of the game). infinite gains help from eggman and the phantom ruby while the avatar finds the Power of Friendship, Love, and Courage (tm) through sonic. infinite finding solace in "fake" power while the avatar finds "true" strength. infinite believing that he is the one who sees the reality as it is (re. his theme song lyrics), when it was the avatar who sees through his illusions.

and i really like that. idk if these are the right words, but i feel like they stand out because of how "human-like" and "relatable" compared to everyone else (esp the avatar bc they are literally an OC). with the exception of tails (who is instead offset by being a kid genius), the sonic cast is filled with characters that have stronger than average willpower, leaving the "outsiders", infinite and avatar, to play catch up in their quest to find strength. they are not unshakably confident like sonic or endlessly persistent like eggman-- they are, at their core, embody the insecurity and lack of confidence that the ordinary person is more likely to succumb to. infinite is like a bandit boss in a jrpg: has a reputation of being feared, has followers/lackeys, villain vibes, but at the end of the day, they are just the first boss the protagonist wipes at the tutorial. the avatar would be a background character in literally any story except forces. they both "extras" trying to take the spotlight that was meant for the leads.

that is why i genuinely think that his current backstory has more value narrative-wise than that hypothetical one and it's not just preference. i don't care if forces has bad writing-- infinite and the avatar starting off as "ordinary people" as a parallel is neat and i will die on that hill. (and imo this attribute makes infinite a unique villain in the sonic verse. like he's not explicitly sympathetic like merlina was or even overtly tragic like gerald, but he manages to have that pitiable, human-like quality, you know?)

but yeah this is really about him not showing up in sonadow gens. like don't get me wrong, i would've been very happy if had shown up and i did lowkey expect it when i saw sunset heights in the trailer, but i'm not mad that he didn't ngl. for the reasons listed above, i don't see infinite as a "shadow villain" like mephiles and black doom are.

[mj-thrush-gxn]

GRAGEUCWJVDJVIQ

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Weird AU idea: Crossover AU between Minecraft and Welcome Home. Those bitches gotta kill some dragon to get back home IDK. I can see many shenanigans with this concept

Mainly made this up because I had a dream the Warden from Minecraft and Julie Joyful met (Julie was not enthralled for obvious reasons) (tbh it was more a nightmare DX)

bold of you to assume their Goofy Asses could get anything done, let alone kill the ender dragon

[indi-glo-archive]

the young royals fandom is so fucking weird about sara and i hate them for it

[canarydarity]

would anyone be interested in a backstory oneshot about baseball au sports announcers bdubs and etho

[fitsinthepalm]

it’s kind of wild that you don’t realize how depressed you were until you start feeling better

[cyellolemon]

Happy tdov look at some of my trans art ^w^

[audiovisualrecall]

This is a start, anyway. Lots of research and work ahead.

[orcelito]

God, this is fucking crazy

So i only have 3 more classes to take, but it'll cost the same to take 3 classes as 4 classes. So I've been thinking about taking a 4th class just for the hell of it. Something fun and/or easy.

Out of curiosity, I looked up orchestras. I was in it in my first year, but I haven't consistently played since 2016. But I still dream about being in an orchestra again. I *miss it*. So I was like. Well, what if *that* was my 4th class next semester? What If?

I looked it up. This week is the last week they're doing auditions for it. There was only one more spot free after today. And that's *tomorrow evening*.

I haven't really played my violin much in YEARS. I'm so out of practice. But apparently they don't reject anyone outright. Auditions are just for placement. So worst case scenario, I get placed in an orchestra at a lower skill level than I was at my prime. It'd still be an orchestra.

It's crazy short notice, but I don't think I'd forgive myself if I passed it up. Bc I have just one more semester before I graduate. One last opportunity to be in a school orchestra. And if I didn't do this, I'd be left with that What If forever.

So. Crazy short notice, but I have a violin audition tomorrow!!! Hahahaha

[trees-to-meet-you]

Sibling forced me to dress up as golden Freddy and watch the fnaf movie gonna be honest I wasn’t a fnaf kid but since they’ve gotten into it I’ve tried to too but anyway yeah I may have next to no idea what’s going on but it was pretty great

[kath-artic]

should i go back on dating apps. not sure if thatd be me avoiding my problems or what