#I do love my friends so dearly
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Horrible as it is, I need to accept that I am a toxic person and that I traumatise my family with my mental illness. I really regret still being here . I hate causing people pain
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I love how you drew foxy, he so scruckly looking <3
Here’s some more Foxys I’ve drawn!!
#ask reply#foxy is scunky I agree#he’s just a funny pirate#he sails the seven seas and loves pizza#I ACTUALLY really enjoy drawing all of thr animtronics#foxy has some more scraggly vibes and motion to him that’s so fun#FOXY GANG RISE UP🔥🔥#foxy was my original favourite animatronic#so I still love him very dearly#I was in the trenches too yall remember the ‘foxy is good’ theory BAHAH#OR HOW foxy and balloon boy were drawn to be friends#I REMEMBER it all I was there ❤️❤️#so I hope I do foxy justice 🙏🏾
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finally coming out as a dyke in 2023 is realizing i dont need to pretend to simp that Guy just because everyone else in my friend group does
#finally coming out as a dyke in 2023 is realizing i can be insane abt women the same way my friends are insane abt men#life changing#mochats#im sorry to my friends who think me simping that guy was genuine#i was just trying to fit in#its a good time to admit that 90% of the time i also dont care abt male characters same way how-#-some straight women dont care abt female characters#i refuse to waste my power on a guy everyone else cares about#im tired enough and i have assignments to do#if i become an outcast for only sparing my energy on women then so be it.#i care about my friends and love them gushing abt a Guy but i personally cannot be made to care in a way they do#not just because i think (often neglected) female characters deserve more of my attention but also because-#-my attraction does influence my interest LETS BE FR HERE#growing up is realizing that putting attention on things you dont care about#is exhausting#as fuck#and i kind of hated how i feel like i wasted my youth energy drawing characters idc abt to please others#now im just tired all the time#while wishing i can draw more women more often#so like#dont do that#draw and write what YOU want#btw its not that i dont care abt men i just have such low energy lately that if i care for anything else but women — it may be unfulfilling#live laugh fatigue#every time i see a guy fanart i scroll past life has never felt so good#(unless its by a friend which i will appreciate dearly i love my friends art and how passionate they r)
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Y'all ever look back and realize your least fav character in your fav show was actually the one most painfully similar to who you were when you first watched it
#the guide my love I'm so sorry#to be completely fair tho most of the stuff I relate to in her came after season 3 (the last season when I first watched)#also shes not my least fav anymore I actually love her dearly in s4 and especially 5#but yeah jesus christ shes so me from 3 years ago...#yall ever fall deeply in unrequited love with your girlbestie#whose cool queer friend group want nothing to do with you bc of how weird and awkward you are#all while dealing with trauma you had buried for years but you now realize severely changed you as a person#anyway.#wwdits#ramblies
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mama’s boy
#sky children of the light#sky cotl#skyblr#thatskyart#sky cotl oc#sky ocs#my art#my ocs#this one is a bit of an older drawing i had been meaning to post it#kego does…feel a bit of disconnect from other skyfolk flocks. loves his family dearly however. it feels like they (and friends) understand#look. you gotta be there for your amorphous luminescent son#of course this is like. revival era so aurelia is much older and isn’t able to do a lot that she used to. take care of ur grannies!!!#of course skyfolk live forever but even a clay vessel is prone to erosion and weathering!#undescribed (currently!! once i finish some chores today i will reblog with the image description being in alt text)#oc: aurelia#oc: kego
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Here they are together!!!!! RGB trio
#me when the trio has a red guy a blue guy and a green guy#I don’t know how many times these three have interacted in canon but they’re my favs#puts them in my pocket#drawing these has given me an insatiable need for little ghosts figurines#they’re so <333333#i need them in my home#they can go with the rest of my rocks and trinkets#on the trinket shelf <3#silliest evers !!!!!!#i love and miss them#patiently waiting for christmas to come around#<- is physically vibrating but trying to be normal about it#sorry for talking but I love them so#so dearly#they’re my best friends my pals#my homeboys#my sweet cheeses my rotten soldiers my good time boys#do you understand#missing them dearly#holding them very close to my heart#I’d hold their hands if I had enough hands#actually#do I want to hold julians hand??#I’m gonna say no but he can get a high five#bbc ghosts#art tag#ghosts#loving and missing them always <33#rgb trio#tiny guys
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whyyyy am i awake it is 5:11am
#i know why. im#fucking anxious as shit about going back to school#and its not for another two weeks#i was like no no im fine im#not that anxious about it this time.#and then i accidently read an old text while searching something unrelated on my phone#and started spiraling thinking about hurtful shit a friend i love dearly said to me a couple months ago#and now its.#dear god if i have a friendship collapse this semester its over for me#if you know me irl you do not know this situation i can assure you so dont bother speculating
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just found out that jungkook interacts with people who aren’t me
#cold cruel world out there tsk tsk#also lil life update friends !#working full time n going to school full time n also doing extracurricular activities is really not the move#i struggle w toxic productivity and it’s really really destroyed my mental and physical health#so ive busted my behind to save up enough money#to be able to support myself on a part time work schedule until i graduate woohoo !#hoping to have more time to indulge in hobbies#which includes being on here and writing and interacting#i miss you all dearly#ty for everything#like the fact that yall still send sweet things in my inbox when ive been p inactive for like this whole year is super nice and sweet and ye#im sorry i haven’t been responding#but i read them and they do make my day and i love you#and i hope to pick things up again soon#glimpse of us is going to be a banger i fear#ive sat on it for so long that ive perfected this storyline#from metaphors to small details to foreshadowing to non linear storytelling that all forms together in the ends yep#just need to write it which is the hard part 👉👈#but im excited#this the type of story to leave you in a funk for a few days lol and im so excited to share#hope you’re all doing well#and you are also prioritizing your health and well-being#you deserve time for yourself#not even deserve tbh#it’s legit a necessity like pls#you deserve it
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S-23 Sierpinski’s “Sparkle Squad”
Do NOT let the funny name fool you! Or the funny callnames of the Protektors in this squad! They are lean, mean, hazing machines (except for their Storch commanding officer; you’ll see what I mean soon).
Starting from the top, we haaaave:
The Upper Crust
Controller Vier, STCR-S2304: The Sog™️. A real softie who makes fast friends with just about everyone except for her own STARs. Loves music, has perfect pitch, and can rip a mean glissando on the baby grand in the music room. Constantly bullied by her STAR squad because she’s “not tough enough”. A fun fact about Vier is that pizza fascinates her. To this Storch, pizza is a mystery beyond mortal comprehension.
Sergeant (former) DC, STAR-S2341: Yes, DC, short for Washington, District of Columbia. DC is a real piece of work (just like the Congress critters in the real life city). Basically Storch software in Starling hardware. Anger issues, control issues, and narcissism. Drove Vier to tears and worse while serving as her officer.
Sergeant Dreyse, STAR-S2375: Sparkle Squad’s current STAR officer, brought in from “the outside” (a different squad) to disrupt the hierarchy of the cadre and put an end to their relentless harassment of their own Controller. Currently learning piano from Vier, and teaching Vier how to dance. Nothing to see here but a Controller and her officer… chillin in the office… six feet apart cuz they’re not gay…
Now, onto the squad themselves!
Fireteam 1
Florida, STAR-S2337: Hazer-in-chief now that DC is gone. A real equal opportunity hater. Troll.
Maryland, STAR-S2338: Mostly chill, except for when she’s not. Former narcotics squad sergeant from Rotfront whose career fell apart after she fired 12 shots into a crowd during a chase, hitting 8 bystanders and landing none of the shots on the perp. Given the choice between being decommissioned and being transferred to S-23, Maryland chose the transfer and is now almost wishing she took the other option instead.
Louisiana, STAR-S2339: Gossips a lot. Spends a lot of time in the showers.
Kentucky, STAR-S2340: Hillbilly. Queen of Snark. Thing 1.
Fireteam 2
Alaska, STAR-S2342: The one that actually minds her own business. Secretly disapproves of the hazing of her own Controller but doesn’t say anything out of peer pressure.
Alabama, STAR-S2343: A total edgelord who says derogatory things just to see how riled up she can get people. Thing 2.
Massachusetts, STAR-S2344: Came out of the factory with half a brain cell that’s slowly been deteriorating as time goes on.
Mississippi, STAR-S2345: The youngest STAR in the squad. Airhead. Mostly plays along because she wants to fit in. People tend to forget she exists.
The “Sparkle Squad” is the most feared Protektor squad in S-23 despite having the Storch equivalent of a wet kitten as their commanding officer. Florida and Maryland are just as brutal in the interrogation room as an unmentored young Storch. Kentucky tops the scoreboard for the highest amount of items ever confiscated in a single dorm shakedown (37). Massachusetts has to consume 10 shots of Everclear before she starts to feel a buzz. Hazing Vier used to be a team bonding exercise for Sparkle Squad, and even Protektors outside of their squad are also fair game for their “morale building activities”. Their nefarious activities have noticeably dwindled in frequency and scale since Sergeant Dreyse took the reins, but old habits die hard…
#naming a starling squad after US states is hands down the funniest thing I’ve ever done with Signalis fan writing#one of my friends was like#I love Alaska Mississippi and Massachusetts dearly#but can we banish Alabama Kentucky and florida#starling Massachusetts can’t even spell her own name right half the time#imagine having kentucky confiscate your contraband liquor#or DC beat you up in the interrogation room#do not give Florida a stunprod she will be so naughty with it#too late she’s got 10 of them#and I’m afraid to ask her what she’s planning to do with them#signalis#signalis fanfic#signalis star#2 am thoughts
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Call the anime and games cringe or whatever but they went off hard with the character designs, christ alive
#my first fandom experience ever#and my start into anime#god I love these kids#and I always will#Found some of my best and oldest friends thru inazuma11 so thank you dearly for that#inazuma eleven#inazuma 11#afuro terumi#kidou yuuto#fudou akio#natsumi raimon#kiyama tatsuya#midorikawa ryuuji#I'm not kidding when I say I had a crush on kidou#and when I rewatched a few years later Fudou became my icon#that kid sure was something#be gay do crime but make it literal in the truest sense of the word#my art
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procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally
#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months#to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them#in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago.#(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought#i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are#and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it#its worth missing i think#i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over#(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year)#(hed come across the bridge on a lake)#we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared.#it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think#i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much.#and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat#they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand#how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much#i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around#something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode#arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully#last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing#and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets#and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably#have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused#blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like#i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much#my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to#music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads#i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says#what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine.#she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.
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sibling secrets
#cherry magic#my art#comic#finally drew out another silly cm comique bc its been a while since the last one#radio drama edition this time bc ive been missing them dearly :(#me as i was drawing this: my own rd krdc designs ? broke and too basic . my own rd mari design ??? lets fucking goooo#i love her so much u guys have no idea .!!! recently i found out her name actually stems from My name and that was like . holy shit#i knew our annoying elder sister vibes matched . shes my best friend now#also the 'kurosawa drunk rambles abt adachi to her' thing is an hc of mine for them in every version . he would do that u cant even argue#also also mari 1000% percent knew what she was doing in every adaptation too and set them up on purpose its true she told me herself-
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don't you love when you're like, okay now I'm going to leave this sorrow in the old year so I don't turn into a crotchety bitter person over it, and then you walk on feeling all refreshed and bright no longer carrying it on your shoulders, but then the sorrow wanders after you like a child who was lost in the supermarket weeping its eyes out and it says to you where did you GO I was lost! I was lost and I missed you!!! and you can only sigh and take it by its hand and say to it very well. here's your seat. I'm sorry I left you behind, I promise it was with the best of intentions, but I want to do my best by you, so let's sit together and try to figure out what you're saying to me.
#thinking out loud#i'm truly like. ok i'm mostly fine i'm a little bit going through it because it's harshest month of winter and it's always weird this month#but i just think it's so funny that i have to be like OH you don't suddenly stop....hurting over something because you decided to!#if you were missing someone who was important to you two months ago by golly you probably still will two months from then!!#weird how that be! anyway#it's funny to me because it's like the opposite of object impermanence#i used to think i was all heart no head and that there's a part of me that went hard in the opposite direction to counteract that#but i am still as much as heart as i ever was except now i have my logical side going yip yip girl we gotta go!!! let's go!!!#and the heart is like holding up a shakey hand going oh lads you go on without me...i just need to catch my breath for like....15 years#anyway anyway. the narrative is indeed kind but that doesn't mean that it doesn't sting sometimes#but! we can do the best that we can and take our troubles by their hands and learn what we can from them and it will all be okay in the end#(i hope this post isn't too complainy or miserable. i may take it down later but i feel the need to say it somewhere.)#regardless of that. happy Friday my friends I love you all dearly bless you for being near me <3 <3
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um personally i think that if your girlfriend is insecure over you being friends with another girl you should run far away really fast. but i may be misreading the situation. i don't think i am though.
#i may be misreading. all i know is she got pissed at my friend while we were hanging out but friend has mentioned that she's 'got#trauma over being cheated on' which is understandable but we have been friends for a year and also i go out of my way to try and make this#girl understand i want to be her friend and i'm not trying for anything. i have a fucking bf. she has met my bf. she has seen how i am#around my bf vs around her gf. we r legit just friends. what the fuck man. please be normal and don't stress ur gf out like this. it's mean#:( idk all i know for sure is she said something that upset her while i was out of earshot but im using context clues and im not stupid.#genuinely i think she is misreading some stuff. yes me and her gf/my friend get along really really well but it's like.. two kids who met i#a playplace kind of way. we do shenanigans and talk about stuff. i do not want to fw her. i am not willing to fw such a heavy smoker.#i love her dearly but sometimes i think she is- love and light- incredibly pretentious in a way that irritates me a little. fine for a#friend. intolerable in a partner. many reasons why i would never. also I HAVE A BOYFRIEND. THAT I AM SO SERIOUS ABOUT.#insulting to me. honestly. but i could be misreading but i don't think i am.#and insulting as fuck to her gf who is head over heels possibly blindly in love with her my god.#idk i just don't trust that she isn't still insecure about me. and i don't like that she said something upsetting while we were having fun.#i don't like it.#girl i dont want your gf for so many reasons. also i am in a relationship what the fuck girl. what the fuck do you think of me. and also#have some fucking trust in your own gf. insane behavior. insane. she would never ever cheat on her she is possibly one of the most honest#and like. morally sound people i have ever met. she would never. it's so fucked up to think that of her.
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RED VS BLUE FANS!
I was thinking about trans hcs in the rvb fandom, tiering the levels of average to bonkers and the popularity of each character being trans in my brain, but i don't know if my opinions are universal
Rb for sample size and, if you feel like it, drop everyone you hc as trans in the tags!
#red vs blue#simmons rvb#grif rvb#donut rvb#sarge rvb#caboose rvb#tucker rvb#grimmons#shut up beck sorry beck#tuckington#agent washington#wash rvb#carolina rvb#doc rvb#church rvb#sister rvb#kaikaina grif#PERSONALLY I think simmons and wash are definitely trans#tucker being trans is like... idk. its too easy#and i feel like most trans men arent sexist bc theyve been on the other side of it?#so im not crazy about tucker being trans#trans grif truthers are so cool i love them dearly#trans SARGE truthers are ELEVATED#i feel like trans carolina can be a little transphobic in the like. ohhhh the strong woman is trans. but if ur trans i trust u <3#trans donut is so fucking real. like feminine trans men are so hot (source: im a feminine trans man)#i feel like anyone who hcs caboose as trans should be studied under a microscope and i mean that SO affectionately#are there any trans kai truthers? do yall exist? if so. please be my friend i lobve you im kissing you on the mouth#trans church truthers are like. i get it. youre probably projecting but i get it. saying this bc my best friend is one of those
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Every time I go to a party I'm reminded that it's not that I can't interact with people, it's just not a desire I have :(
#i always feel so guilty when ppl i just met are like wow u seem so cool! because im really not!#im good at masking and making people feel comfortable! its got nothing to do with my personality unfortunately#no version of me is as true as who i am by myself and idk i feel like a fraud for being nice?#ive had many people be disappointed when i just. dont want to hang out#im not a 1 on 1 person i hate being alone with someone#even with people i dearly cherish i just cant find myself comfortable when others are around#and its not about them either i think im just not compatible with social interactions#im not really looking for advice btw like this is just something im coming to terms with#i love people i truly do i just cannot exist properly around them#anyways fat bear supper was really nice :')#the mashed potatoes??? they were so fuckjng good like bro you dont understand#and shoutout to the ppl who made a salmon lasagna that was so good as well#friends played a beautiful beautiful song they made (if they end up putting it on spotify ill share it here its about a cow named Margot)#anyways i guess soft reminder you never know what people are struggling with regardless of how functioning they appear#(mashed potatoes recipe is as follow: unpeeled potatoes#+whole milk+butter+rosemary+thyme thats it thank u)
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