#I do kinda consider “old english God” to be one of multiple

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

After SO many attempts to get my sculptures glaze-fired at the local free kiln, and failing, I scheduled a kiln rental ($$$) at a paid place, took my un-fired stuff and called a lyft home. In the lyft, I was bitching and whining a bit about how all this could have been avoided if I hadn't gotten sick at the wrong time and missed the last week of open studio at unm, when the driver said "wait, open studio? my daughter is 13, she DESPERATELY wants to learn to do pottery, I've been looking everywhere for an affordable studio" and I said "well, she's a little young but people do bring their kids to the UNM pottery studio all the time. They have lessons, membership is $20 for non-students. The studio won't re-open til September though, do you want me to give you their insta?" when I said "$20" she was overjoyed, and said "God must have put you in my car today." I, for some reason unable to let shit slide, mentioned that while I wasn't raised Christian OR currently Christian, I'm studying medieval manuscripts which is basically bible-study-by-proxy, so am now stuck halfway into an Early Medieval Christian worldview, less as an actual Faith and more as something that inevitably affects how I view the world because I study it non-fcking-stop. The lyft driver laughed and said "well hopefully you will get out of that Phase soon", I also laughed and said

cut to today, almost exactly a week later, I'm at the paid kiln place doing some last-minute overglazing ($$$!!!!) and chatting with an employee abt my archeology/history studies. They mention how active they are in fandom, and it comes up that they used to be in the Supernatural fandom, left early-ish but kept up with spoilers. They love folklore and don't only AGREE with my comments about Grendels/Pookas/etc being in the show, but immediately pick up on WHY I made these connections without me having to explain, which is amazing. Then they mention that they left the show because, having been raised EXTREMELY Catholic, Cas' portrayal was so inaccurate that it made them angry.

I was confused by this, both because Cas' portrayal in spn is RIDICULOUSLY lore-accurate (like most good & interesting things in spn this is by complete accident) and because afaik Cassiel NEVER shows up in Catholicism- he's primarily Islamic and Kabbalistic, with later appearances in Hermeticism and broader Esoterica/Angelology. But the employee, named Crash (seriously) says, no, Cassiel (spelled Kasziel/Kafziel, both variant spellings I've seen before) is mentioned, and even described, in a book they were forced to read as part of homeschooling growing up, and Cas is NOTHING like in spn.

At this point, we realized that our difference in opinion on Cas came from how we were raised, and that arguing it was about as useful as actually arguing about religion. However, when they mentioned that the text was a book on angels by St. Augustine, I sat up straight, because I'd had to read St. Augustine for SEVERAL classes this past year (talky, tormented medieval guy with a thing for going hand-to-hand w demons. I think he's the Hilariously "Falling In Reverse"-Coded Saint but maybe that was someone else), and I'd never heard or seen of any works by St. Augustine on angels. Given that this fell SO neatly into SO many things I'm annoyingly obsessed with and also promised 11TH CENTURY CANON CAS, I googled it as I waited for the glaze to dry- nothing. A bunch of texts, scholarly essays and articles ABOUT St. Augustine's descriptions of angels, but no primary source mentioned aside from "St. Augustine, at some point, described angels".

So on my way out, I say hi to Crash, and ask them what the title of the book was. They say that while they don't know, since I'm coming back tomorrow to pick up my fired pieces, they can call their mom and ask the book title, and that "[their] mom would just be happy that its a Catholic Question for once".

So idk what all this led to, hopefully some decently glazed pieces, plenty of new things learned abt clay that they don't teach at the unm studio, and maybe even the bonus of yet another Weird Ass Early-Medieval Christian Text to fuck around with. And medieval Cas.

MEDIEVAL CAS

...anyway, OP's post just reminded me of it. This has been my oddly specific, Anglo-Saxon Christian guided quest to fire my (perhaps unsurprisingly, Anglo-Saxon- and Norse- inspired) ceramics before the medieval fair. Normally I wouldn't say "God is looking down on me" under any circumstances, but if SPECIFICALLY THE PRE-REFORMATION GOD OF EARLY MEDIEVAL NORTH EUROPE WAS LOOKING DOWN ON ME

idk I just think thats funny

If I had a nickel for every time I was debating the value of early-medieval Christianity over this specific box of semi-glazed, unfired sculpture pieces...

Me, on the welcome desk in the library: Good morning, how are you today?

Customer: I have welcomed Jesus into my heart and so I am well today and every day.

Me, a little unnerved: Okay then! Is there something I can help you with?

Customer, digging around in his bag and pulling out an iPhone in a box: Unfortunately, Jesus can't help me with this fucking phone, so I came to the library.

[gremlin-girly]

Congrats on 250 followers!!

May I please 🍑 request:

Jake Jensen, question(s) 3 and/or 12: 3. "How much have you had to drink?" 12. "Do you taste as pretty as you look?", with trope 19. Sex pollen/fuck or die?

(#12 screamed Jake to me the second I read it. 🤣)

Hello my lovely! Thank you so much! Ohoho this was fun. I've actually had a sexpollen idea with him in my notes but never knew how to start. Now I do 🤭

Quote 12 may scream Jake because it was a quote cut from Space Cakes 👀😂

I hope I've done this justice for you 💕💕

Needs and Wants

Pairing: Jake Jensen x F!reader

Tags/warnings: SMUT, sex pollen (in the beer), dub-con (bc it's a sex pollen - but it is consensual), no-thoughts-head-empty kinda fucking, p-in-v (wrap it), multiple orgasm (both male and female), oral (f recieving), creampie (but no pregnancy worries), masterbation (f described), confessions of sorts, mutual masterbation, petnames (babe)

Not beta'd and I do not give permission for my work to be reposted, copied, translated or put through an AI machine.

Quotes: "How much have you had to drink?" + "Do you taste as pretty as you look?"

Summary: Whilst out on a mission, you and Jake find some bottles of what appears to be beer of some kind squirreled away in one of the hideouts and decide to break into it...

Word count: N/a but knowing me ~3k

Dividers by: @/cafekitsune

Part of the 20s Challenge

Navigation | 20s Masterlist | Jake Jensen Masterlist

Recon missions were always so boring. Thankfully, after a long day you and Jake were dismissed by Clay and told to take a load off. You were finishing packing up the gear when Jake appeared carrying something in his arms.

"Hey, lookie what I found." Jake blows the dust off an old case of what looks like beer. You cough and fan dust from your face and eye the case suspiciously. "Celebratory drink?"

"Where did you find those?" You ask, pulling one out and turning the bottle in your hands. There's only one label and it's not in English.

Jake shrugs. "Under the floorboards."

"We're going to drink floorboard beer?" You scoff, looking up at him quizzically.

"Beer is beer," Jake grins, popping the cap off his beer with the table edge. "And it's for another job well done."

You can't help but sigh with a smile and clink your bottle against his. "Fair point. Cheers."

An hour and a bit later, you're lying on your bed feeling a little too hot for comfort. Jake had already opened a window, but it wasn't helping in the slightest. Now you were considering stripping down to your underwear.

"How much have you had to drink?" You ask Jake looking over the table to him. His leg was jumping erratically and it kept drawing your attention to his legs.

Somehow, in the short space of time you'd gone from celebrating your mission with your attractive teammate to wanting to kiss, lick and suck any part of his body you could get your mouth on. The change was so subtle that it had your head spinning with thoughts of what had happened to cause this sudden shift in your body. Was it something he said? Something he did? You'd always liked Jake; he'd welcomed you to the team easily, and despite being a terrible flirt, was so sweet and funny you couldn't help but smile around him.

And God his legs looked so fucking good in those jeans.

"Uhh... third?" He says thickly, leg still jumping wildly.

"Jesus," you huff, looking away. You beg for the impure thoughts to stop. "Thirsty?"

"Yeah. Fuck, it's so hot." Jake groans, running his hands over his face. Wasn't that groan just the sexiest sound you'd ever heard?

"I've already put the air con on the lowest setting." You tell him, fanning yourself. You'd been starting to feel a little feverish too but you were sure it had to be an alcohol-flush from the beer. "And the windows are open."

"You okay?" Jake asks worriedly, glancing at you.

You try to give him a smile, your eyes locking with his. "Yeah - I'm just really fucking hot."

Jake wets his lips and his eyes drop to your mouth, then lower again to your cleavage sitting in your tank top. "Yeah."

"What?" You can feel heat roll up your body and it feels blistering.

"What? Oh." Jake's eyes snap back up to your face. "Sorry. Um. God. I can't think straight."

"Tell me about it." You grumble, tearing your eyes away from him and settling on your bed. A stray thought ekes it's way in; crawling under the covers naked, a hand between your legs, back arched in ecstasy. You're clit aches against your jeans and you have to stifle a gasp. However, now that thought as taken root, it blooms another; naked and moaning into your pillow, while Jake pummels you from behind.

You're grasping your thigh so hard you think you're going to cut off circulation. "Oh fuck this," you hiss getting to your feet. "I'm gonna try and take a nap."

"Mm. Good idea." Jake nods curtly before standing suddenly. "I'm gonna try a cold shower to take the edge off."

"Cool. Tell me if it works." You pant, rushing to the bed, not even waiting to hear the door of the bathroom slam as you strip completely naked and crawl under the covers.

As soon as you hear the water rushing, your fingers find refuge between your thighs. You gasp as your fingers brush your clit, electricity racing through every nerve that's not pleasurable but painful. You fight back a pained gasp, fingers spreading your sticky folds open, shocked to find you're soaked and pulsing with need. Even though it hurts you can't bare the thought to stop touching yourself, two fingers dipping into your cunt, curling and pumping desperate for some release.

Your mind's eye goes back to Jake; sweat sheened and fucking you with such force the headboard slams against the wall. Letting a soft curse fall from your lips you move your fingers back to your abandoned nub, using your cum-coated fingers to circle it hurriedly, chasing an orgasm you hoped would arrive soon.

Your breathing hitches, your pussy convulses.... but nothing happens. Where an orgasm should be there's nothing but an excruciating need to cum and a heat that won't cool.

You want to cry. Why was this happening? What was wrong with you? If you didn't get this under control Jake would most certainly not want to be your friend if he caught you fucking yourself like this... unless?

Your mind wanders again, slow, lazy circles around your clit this time. Would Jake's fingers feel rough against your clit? Would he know how to make you scream his name? Would he put that mouth to good use for once?

A call of your name tears you from your imagination and you rip your hand from your clit. The pain that shoots through you almost makes you cry out, but you smother it into a strangled, "yeah?"

"Don't freak out but," Jake's voice echoes from the bathroom. "I-I've got an issue that won't go away."

Tell me about it, you think as you grip your pillow like a lifeline, your clit pulsing angrily. It hurts so much you want to pass out.

"What is it?"

"Just please don't freak out." Jake's face peeks out of the bathroom. His skin and hair is damp and his face is flushed red, just like yours is.

"I won't." You promise, fighting the urge to scream into your pillow.

The door opens fully and Jake is naked apart from his boxers, which have a clear outline of his throbbing cock and a dark patch just above the tip from his pre-cum.

You suck in a quick breath, watching his dick jump almost as angrily as your clit pulses and how his ragged breathing makes the muscles on his taut stomach shudder.

You can feel a new, cooler, gush of arousal from your pussy and you groan fully, releasing the pillow to press your palms into your eyes.

"I tried making it... go away." Jake grits out, clearly flustered. "But-"

"It hurts so bad," you finish for him. Jake's eyes widen and his already red face changes a shade darker. "Everytime I-I touch my p-pussy it feels like it's on fucking f-fire and I can't cum."

You cross your legs firmly, twitching under the blanket at every pulse.

"It's the same with me," Jake huffs. "Putting my boxers back on almost made me pass out."

There's a moment of silence and you peek over at Jake from under your hands. His Adam's apple bobs thickly and you can feel his gaze settle on you, that need for him you'd been feeling feels almost crushing now.

You both look at eachother for a long moment.

"Please tell me you're thinking what I'm thinking," Jake looks at you pleadingly, his hands balled into fists at his sides. "Because I don't think I can handle this."

"Are you thinking about fucking till we pass out?" You ask plainly, watching Jake's cock swell in his boxers.

"Yeah." Jake breathes.

"Thank fuck." You sigh, kicking your comforter down to your feet. "I thought I was going crazy."

Jake crosses the room in seconds, tugging his boxers to his ankles. The cool air against the heat of his cock makes it bob and he sighs with soft relief, blue eyes roaming your naked body from behind his glasses.

"Jesus fuck you look good." He rumbles, looking like he doesn't even know where to begin.

Ever impatient, you grab for his hands and tug him down to you.

"So do you but right now I do not care. I need you to touch me."

Jake complies, letting you wrap a hand around his cock whilst his fingers slip into your dripping hole easily. There's no words exchanged as you work eachother; your hand pumping and squeezing his cock and coating it in his sticky pre-cum and his fingers curling in just the right spot, before using his thumb to swipe over your swollen clit.

Your walls clench hard, orgasm pending again, but it wasn't enough.

"Jake - shit - I don't think this is enough." You half sob, tears forming along your lower lash line.

"What do you want me to do?" Jake urges, not stopping his fingers from pleasing you.

"I don't care! Anything!" You cry, hips lifting from the bed. "I just need you."

Jake's fingers are suddenly void from your cunt and you gasp a sob. This was agony.

The bed beneath you shifts and you can feel Jake's hands grip your thighs, holding the twitching limbs wide open and exposing your cunt to him.

"Whatever this is, I'm just glad I get an answer to a question that's been bothering me for a while." He says quietly, eyes trailing from your cunt to your flushed, panting face.

"What?" You sniff.

"Do you taste as pretty as you look?" Jake's tongue is cool as it presses flat against your slit, dragging upwards so he can lap and suckle at your clit. Your hips jerk into his face at the sensation and a scream rips from your lungs surprising you both. Jake peeks up at you and when your eyes meet he presses a kiss to your clit, you body vibrating with want.

"Oh my God." Your half sobbing but instead of pain it's intense pleasure. "Jake you're gonna make me cum."

"Good." Jake mumbles, burying his face into your pussy, lapping and sucking at all of your juices until you finally cum with a load moan, body shaking violently.

Your chest rises and falls rapidly, your need to cum ebbing slightly, relief short-lived but welcomed. Jake's face rises from between your legs, his tongue swiping at your cum on his chin. His eyes are almost black but he's got his signature goofy grin plastered on his face.

"Feel better?"

"Yeah." You breathe. "You?"

Jake sits on his haunches, looking down with a shrug. Your eyes follow suit. White ropes of his cum cover his still hard, still twitching cock. Your pussy squeezes around nothing at the sight, that need building again.

"Jake," you murmur. "I need you to fuck me."

Jake's breath catches and he looks up at you in surprise. "Are you sure?"

"Pretty fuckin' positive Jensen." You grit out, shifting on your back with a grumble.

There's hesitation for a brief moment, but when Jake moves forward, the tip of his cock brushing your wet folds you both gasp a sigh of relief and ecstasy. The pleasure that bursts through your core makes you take immediate initiative. You angle your hips, throwing your legs over his hips and tug him forward.

Jake moans loudly as he falls forward, buried balls deep as your pussy shudders around his cock. His hands plant themselves either side of your head and his eyes are glossy, when they meet yours, his glasses hanging haphazardly. You reach up and fix them for him. There's something far more intimate about fixing his glasses than him being inside you and you savour the moment, brushing his sweat-drenched hair back. Were his eyes always so blue?

Jake whispers your name, dipping his head down and tentatively kissing your lips. When he pulls back, your hand finds the back of his head and brings him to your lips again. The kisses move from sweet to sloppy in seconds, the both of you unable to stave off the desire brewing again. Jake begins to move his hips, rutting into you hard and fast; like you'd imagined earlier and soon you're both gasping for air.

"I- I think-" Jake stammers but you smother his statement with a kiss, letting the wet sounds of your bodies fill the room.

"IUD," you say, voice strained. "Please, just keep fucking me. Your cock is better than your fingers and tongue."

"Whatever you want." Jake murmurs, slamming his cock into you so hard you see stars. Your pussy tightens and Jake's hands grip at your hips, forcing himself onto his knees to keep you steady as he fucks into you faster.

Another orgasm builds and you whine pitifully, stretching your legs up to Jake's shoulders which he takes in stride, leaning forward to pound you at a new, deeper angle that makes his brain white out as your cunt milks him greedily. Strings of curses are uttered as your walls flutter and gush over his cock, prompting him to paint your insides with his cum.

Dropping your legs, Jake collapses on top of you heaving deep breaths. You pant, dazed, lying together on one small twin bed. The room reeks of sex and while the pain has subsided, replaced only by a dull ache of pleasure, Jake's cock hasn't softened and it still twitches inside of you.

"Round three?" He puffs with a grin, rolling his hips into yours lazily.

You chuckle and arch your back. You should feel embarassed or uncomfortable but you can't bring yourself to care. "Round three."

Morning light streams through the window of the safe house. It's offensively bright as you blink yourself awake with a grumble.

Jake's body is still entangled with yours beneath the sheets. You don't remember how many times you fucked last night, or who put the sheets over you both, but you do know that it was fucking excellent.

"Jake, wake up." You say gently, pushing him with your shoulder. He stirs but only enough to cuddle into you more, arms around your waist tightening and head burying into your neck.

"Five more minutes." He mumbles.

You fight back a grin. "Quite the work out last night, huh?"

You can feel his sleepy smile creep along your skin. "Yeah. I'm drained. In every sense of the word."

You snicker and wiggle closer to him. "Then I should really let you get those extra five minutes."

"Thank you, babe."

Now this was something worth getting used to. Maybe packing up a few more of those beers wouldn't go amiss either.

Taglist

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@stargazingfangirl18 | @awkwardgiraffe726 | @irishhappiness | @looking1016

[pclarcld]

──   (  nick robinson. twenty4. cis man. he/him.  ) thank god you’re here, man - have you seen SEBASTIAN "BASH" STARR anywhere? i totally lost them after their rendition of come on eileen by dexys midnight runners last night. no? they’re like, aye - high and go to LANGSTON - i think they’re a GRADUATE level studying CHEMISTRY? but who knows, these days. all i know is that they’re ASTUTE & ABRASIVE and a SCORPIO . last night they kept going on and on about how they won MOST LIKELY TO END UP IN JAIL last year, which is cool and whatever, but i just wouldn’t expect it out of them, considering they’re so, like, DAUNTLESS & STOIC, you know? anyways - i’m going to check down by book stew, i think that’s where they like to hang. text me if you see them, okay? bye! / as penned by parker.  twenty7.  est. 

BIO PINTREST MUSINGS VISUALS WC INSPO THREADS

STATS

full name: sebastian "bash" samuel starr

birthdate: october 31st, 2001

parents: daniel starr (estranged) & elizabeth morrow (estranged)

siblings: cameron starr (deceased) & ______ _____

gender: cis man

pronouns: he/him/his

sexuality: pansexual

languages: english, asl

height: 6'1

hair color: brown

eye color: brown

tattoos: multiple scattered stick n poke

PERSONALITY

+traits: astute, dauntless, inquisitive, creative, loyal

- traits: cataclysmic, abrasive, impulsive, stoic, overwrought

labels: the crimson, the hellion, the bibliophile

aesthetics: bruised knuckles, making a “fuck you” gesture at authorities, glossy & reddened eyes, cigarette smoke, the smell of old books, writing obscene messages in the bathroom stalls, doc martins, black coffee, picking locks

character inspo: john bender (breakfast club), jess mariano (gilmore girls), lip gallagher (shameless)

fears: claustrophobia, the unknown, dying alone

hobbies: writing, reading, photography, gaming

likes: cats, winter, solitude, sex, drinking, drugs

dislikes: hypocrites, loud eaters, mushrooms, the heat

myers-briggs: intp-t

hogwarts house: ravenclaw

temperment: choleric

moral alignment: chaotic neutral

HEADCANNONS

bash is your local dirtbag asshole who thinks he's 2 cool to get close to people. catch him pushing everyone and anyone away !!

but he's kinda just an asshole as a defense mechanism. he has a heart sometimes :(

once he cares/loves u he probably won't ever stop even if he acts like it . like end of the day even if it was the worst falling out over he'd still probably drop everything. he's loyal as fRICK

def spends wayyy too much time partying. is he ever really sober ? idk. he def has some problems he doesn't wanna admit

he’s a scholarship kid baybeeee

catch him with a bpd diagnosis but never doing anything to healthily cope ever . very on/off on treatment plans

he hates authority and he hates being told what to do

he just wanna be cozied up reading a book and forgetting the world

hes estranged from both his parents and likes to pretend they don’t exist ! his mother walked out when he was fairly young and his dad liked to numb his feelings with alcohol which made him quite !!! unpleasant to be around

he's the smartest idiot you'd ever meet. iq says he has braincells but he's so stubborn on thinking he's always right it can get the best of him

his undergrad was in chemistry and minored in journalism and he kinda battled like does he wanna do a smart big kid job or like.. have a job he actually enjoys

he has a older brother that passed and due to all of that he kinda spiraled and thinks he needs to do something bigger than himself, so he thinks the way HE can make a difference is getting into forensic scientists and being able to collect allll the facts. he likes it but also ... there's kinda this creative gap and void

prolly always carries a lil pocket notebook to write ideas, poems, and doodle

WANTED CONNECTIONS

SIBLING ; the only one who knows how and why they're both so fucked up. "siblings are like branches of a tree. we grow in different directions, yet our roots remain as one". open to backstory changes, or half sibling? maybe even step siblings could work. i love me some complicated family dynamics.

RIDE OR DIE ; no matter the hardships, they always have each others back. maybe they knew each other before college or grew close more recently. "even though we're goin' through it. and it makes you feel alone. just know that I would die for you"

FIRST LOVE ; someone that finally made him let his guard down and open up his heart. "but if the world was ending you'd come over, right?"

PARTNER IN CRIME ; perhaps they're a bad influence on each other, but they know how to have a good time. "they'll call our crimes a work of art. you'll never take us alive."

ENEMIES ; these two hate each other. always have and probably always will. whether it's just personalities clashing or a drama-filled falling out. "your words up on the wall as you're praying for my fall."

other ideas, but always up for some brainstorming: tutored, old bully/bullied, childhood friends, exes (good terms/bad terms, i only imagine him having a serious relationship or two tho), fwbs, one night stand, ex friends, frenemies, unlikely friends, unrequited love/crush, drug dealer, friends that typically only hang for partying/drinking/drugs, someone he's gotten into fights with, the "other" person.

[thegamingcatmom]

Usually, I have thoughts on Tanya and Kate, but here's a thought for Irina

Thoughts on MC talking books with Irina?

Idk what Irina would be reading. Part of my mind goes she's sophisticated, classy, some old book she picked up that's like a first edition.

Then the other part of my mind goes yknow....what if she read romance or fantasy romance. Girl's expectations are built high on the novels of young adult romance. With her being a romantic and all, I can't help but feel she'd like reading pining and other things.

But anyways MC sees a story she knows and likes that Irina is currently reading again cause irina likes the series. MC then, despite her fear and better judgment of this denali sister, strikes up conversation like an excited child talking about their favourite thing. Except then shipping is brought up. Idk where I'm going with this, but say MC asks who's her favourite pairing? Irina going with the obvious canon pair, hasnt considered anything else, and then MC goes cool. I like (ships character with other character)

Irina: confused

They don't get together??? Character goes with canon pair

MC:well yes but this pair has better chemistry, and then MC proceeds to bring up multiple points on a different perspective to how story could be viewed

Idk MC introduces her to fanfiction?

Irina: >:|

First time hearing about shipping

Not sure how to feel about other character in her ship with other character

Can't accept it(yet)

Thinks canon ship is superior

Don't think Irina has talked to many people about her favourite series

It isn't until later that she really thinks about it and goes damn MC kinda right

Cue Irina reading fanfiction in private

She won't tell MC that she's right

But she will chat about story with MC cause idk I don't expect her chatting with her sisters about a Fandom she likes, like Irina keeps her favourites secret

Anyways ye that's my Irina thought

(Shoves Irina forward and books it out the door)

-📚

Hi 📚!

Aight so, I have to admit, I´m not a huuuge fan of including/seeing fanfiction in my fanfiction. Y´know what I´m saying? 😅

(Same with Y/N btw. That´s a huge turn-off for me. Sorry to anyone who´s feeling addressed rn! 😖)

I dunno, it just feels a tad bit weird to me. It´s like watching someone watching someone watching someone watching someone watching someone watching-

...Y´know?? 😭

But to each their own ofc! And something I can totally get behind is Irina and MC discussing book matters. Or well, MC somewhat anxiously asking about a thing or two when she hears Irina and Carmen talk about it.

Carmen is only all too happy to include her ofc. She immediately starts gushing, asking MC about her favorite character and pairing, and so on. Which prompts MC to gush as well, asking about Carmen´s favorite character and pairing, and so on. Soon, they find themselves in a heated discussion of their own.

And Irina? Well, she doesn´t find it at all funny that the mortal worms her way into every aspect of her life. Can´t she have a conversation in peace anymore?? Without the human being the center of attention?? My God-

She was about to leave, not at all willing to listen to that rubbish-

MC, in response to smt Carmen said: "You think so? I don´t know...they just don´t make sense to me, y´know? Zero chemistry and all. I never really liked Julian anyway. He´s so...treacherous."

Irina: *stops in her tracks cause...bish said what?*

Irina, turning back around: "...Treacherous?"

MC, who didn´t expect Irina to actually listen to what she´s saying: *panics*

Irina, walking back to them cause the dmg is done now: "How is someone who´s willing to do everything for the one he loves treacherous?"

MC: *gaping like a fish out of water as she struggles to remember the English language*

Irina, who has reached them by now: *raises her eyebrow, crosses her arms*

Irina: "Well?"

MC: *shoots Carmen a look that clearly says 'HELP ME'*

Carmen: *smiles lovingly at her in a way that clearly says 'You got this...dumbass.'*

MC: *turns back to Irina*

Irina: *starts tapping her foot impatiently*

MC: *fml, here goes nothing-*

MC, taking a deep breath: "For one, I think he´s incredibly selfish-"

Irina, already starting to lose it: "He´s-"

Camen: *shoots her the look*

Irina: *...wisely shuts her mouth again*

MC: "...And he´s...manipulative. He knows exactly what to say and how to behave to make people trust him, and he exploits that trust the first chance he gets."

Irina: *mulls it over for a moment*

Irina, refusing to back down: "He didn´t exploit anything. He acted in a way that he thought was best-"

MC, slowly forgetting who she´s talking to: "Best for whom?"

Irina: *blinks at her*

MC, emboldened by the silence: "He didn´t take one moment to think about the consequences of his actions, because he didn´t care. All he cared about was settling an old score-"

Carmen: *slowly backs away and out of the living room*

Tanya & Kate: *entering the house, only just returning from their hunt, about to greet Carmen*

Carmen: *makes the shushing motion*

Tanya & Kate: ❓👀❓

Carmen: *gestures to the living room*

Tanya & Kate: *take a look...and then another*

Kate, in a low voice: "...When the hell did that happen?"

Irina, in the distance: "-only did that because he saw no other choice! He did what he thought necessary to protect himself and the one he loves-" MC, in the distance: "Are you kidding-"

Tanya, planting her hands on her hips in utter disbelief: "What in God´s name is going on?"

Carmen, proud as punch: "I think we have a breakthrough."

.

.

.

OKAY I ACTUALLY LOVE THIS SO MUCH. 😭

In fact, I added this idea to my list of things I wanna include in The Sisters at some point because this is just too damn accurate. Tysm for inspiring this. 🙏

Oh btw: I think Irina is heavy into anything romance. She´s always dreamed of finding "the one," which is why you´ll most likely find her with her nose buried in some tragic love tale or a story about mutual pining where external circumstances always prevent the pair from getting together at first.

In other words: She enjoys a good slow-burn. 😉

Tysm for your ask! 💋

EDIT:

Who do y´all think "Julian" is meant to represent? 😏

[calamitaswrath]

Lucia plays Fire Emblem Radiant Dawn: Part 4 Endgame Part 3

Well, that's one way to frame the infodump about the creation of the world. Yune is just bored while they're climbing the tower and feels like telling it.

. . .And Tibarn doesn't give a shit. This man is amazing, I love him.

So the Zunanma just. Evolved without any involvement from Ashunera?? Wild. Can't help but to imagine that she must have observed that like

I know this is a deep dive into the mythology and creation of Tellius, but on some level, the sequence of events as Yune describes it is just kind of funny to me. The various tribes of the Zunanma fight each other, Ashunera thinks to herself "What will solve the conflicts between these people? I know, clearly seperating them into distinct groups!", and then they fight each other even more. Ashunera really wasn't that good at this whole god-business, was she?

Ahh, dragon time.

So, we have base conversations again! Let's go over those.

First one you apparently only get if Micaiah and Sothe have an A support, so since I didn't change that, I got it. As for its contents. . . well, it's nice to finally have some backstory for the two of them, and an explanation as to why Sothe could join Greil's Mercenaries in Path of Radianec. But if anything, this conversation just drives home that Micaiah and Sothe having a paired ending where they get together is just really kinda yikes. She practically raised him!

Conversation with Sanaki - well, that's basically just foreshadowing for Sephiran being an antagonist. Unfortunately I already knew that he was one at this point, but I suspect that even if I hadn't known, it would have been pretty obvious by now.

Conversation with the Herons - just a means of getting an item, so not much to note here. Though I find it interesting that if Reyson or Rafiel is there, Ike talks to them, and if Leanne is there, it's Micaiah who talks to her. I wonder why that is? . . .And I mean, I genuinely wonder that. It feels a bit random of a distinction.

Weapon enchanting time! I initially actually wanted to have the tomohawk that I gave Ike enchanted, but the friend I was streaming for cautioned me against it since only the equipped weapon gets enchanted. Looking at the wiki though she needn't have worried about that, since Ike apparently auto-equips Ragnell to have it enchanted at this point. That aside - I do kinda regret not having Alondite enchanted for Lucia, and having had that done for her forged weapon instead. But eh, whatever.

Now, as for the battle - this was a pretty neat map. Once I realized that the dragons here don't attack Kurthnaga and Ena, I also got to make use of their ally buffing skills which were pretty neat. But actually abusing this mechanic beyond that wasn't really an option, since both of them were far too weak.

Dheginsea was a pretty cool boss, too! I actually tried multiple times to have Naesala weaken him, but every single time, Dheginsea activated his skill and just killed him instantly. Which feels pretty fitting for how people tend to view Naesala in-universe, all things considered.

And so passes Dheginsea, king of the dragons. Pretty interesting character all things considered, but a stubborn old fool all the same. Since I spared Nasir and Gareth, I'm gonna get them next chapter - I didn't use them, but they did come with some goodies that I could use.

More flashback scenes, and luckily ones that I didn't miss. I am glad to inform you that the German dub is as laughable as the English one here.

[mxflowercheck]

Not sure i can consider myself exactly bilingual, i didn’t grow up in English speaking setting, i learned it as a second language. But than i was in boarding school for two years and well, firstly a lot of terminology about school life was from English. Secondly our boarding staff used English with us on a daily basis. This resulted in almost everyone in school speaking runglish (russian + English) + casually switching to English because why not

So! Things that i and my friends have done / still do / have witnessed

• Often switch to English to talk about heavy topics or feelings. It’s a second language for all of us, so it kinda puts some..distance from all the emotions

• On multiple occasions i caught us all writing messages, where we spell an english word in Cyrillic and then switch to English fully

• Generally we often write English words in Cyrillic for various reasons

• We don’t notice that we code switch. On multiple occasions i said a very common for me phrase and my mother was just starring at me until i understood that the phrase was in English and i needed to translate

• Forgetting a word in both languages NEVER GETS OLD. BELIEVE ME. But usually it’s not something complicated, no, i can remember how to write deoxyribonucleic acid in both languages but forget the word “early”

• two years ago i tried learning Spanish. When we were writing essays in English class i wrote “trabajador” meaning “hardworking”. I knew something was wrong with it but i didn’t know WHAT. I didn’t understand until my teacher pointed it out for me

• I personally do not analyse English abbreviations. Sometimes i forget it has A TRANSLATION. Or a full version. Once i said “wtf” in front of my boarding staff and well it took me three shocked stares and a “ Valery!” to realise it’s not just a phrase with “what the hell” meaning but a swearing.

• *tries to speak English but fails because it’s too early* *tries to speak Russian but fails because brain demands that this setting needs ENGLISH*

• My first sports club, where not only the coach counted, but also the kids - aikido. We counted in Japanese. i haven't practiced Aikido for about three or fours years, but every time i do sports, i count in Japanese to myself

• Grammar? Spelling? Vocabulary. Oh no, what IS confusing IS PUNCTUATION. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE CODESWITCHING.

• at least one of my friends also spells difficult words while writing, but not with the correct pronunciation. we read them as if they're written in Cyrillic/pronounce every letter. It helps with not messing up the letter (for example when I write various i read it as ВЭРИОУС in my mind because I'm a) silly b) ADHD and often mess up the order of vowels when typing fast)

• OH ALSO - some of us (including me) don't have a stable accent. You watch Shelock - you''re British, you watch TikToks from a South American - you're South American. Or! Sometimes accents sticks to phrases and words :D. So it goes like

*speaking with one accent/neutral accent* *uses the Britishest accent in the world for ONE PHRASE* *continues normally*

• Dialects are the Death Of Us. My guy, i have NO fucking idea which pronunciation of "dance" is for UK and which is for America AND I LEARNED THAT WORD WHEN I WAS SIX!!!!

• interjections and sounds are ALSO confusing! You'd think we make similar sounds of surprise or joy or sadness. WE DON'T.

i keep adding things god help

anyway

• people can have different names for different languages! I don't consider my legal name (Lera) to be my deadname, i like it! but don't usually use it in English speaking spaces because...English doesn't have the sounds (it has similar sounds but still)...that are in my name...and it sounds VERY STRANGE

• same with pronouns btw! English doesn't gender verbs, adjectives, nouns, your way to point out gender is simple - pronouns. But in Russian words change depending on a gender ( he is clever - он умнЫЙ, she is clever - она умнАЯ). And the way words change for they/them pronouns doesn't sound right to me, so I don't use they/them for myself in Russian, only she/he! But i don't mind in English, because verbs, adjectives and etc don't change :)

im going to have a stroke

[anti-sjmessy]

Hello! Just to make myself clear, I haven't read the books but as far as I've read about the sexual harassment between Feyre and Rhysand kinda make me disgusted. But a friend of mine is really into the series and there was a time when I haven't read nothing about the books except for being sO hOt, I told this friend there were some people saying Sarah was a bad writer. Do you think her writing is that bad?

Heya! Apologies for my super super super late reply. It’s 2022 now, but ya gorl works a lot.

Yeah, I just personally do think her writing is bad. I read a lot of Wattpad books in middle school, like consumed them one after the other. Her writing gives me vibes of being a 15-year-old who happens to take Honors English, and desperate for a boyfriend who is perfect and checks off all their boxes on the, “perfect man list”, doesn’t know any better on how a man should actually treat her, and writes down all their fantasies and publishes it on Wattpad. The male lead is hot as fuck, he falls head over heels in love with the girl, who is just described as being the most plain and average person on earth with the bone structure of a supermodel, the most beautiful sparkling blue/green eyes, big tittles, fat ass, and 12 inch waist. She’s just so average, maybe ugly, and she can’t believe this hunky self proclaimed feminist male with dark hair and light eyes, is in to her. I’ve seen quite a few posts from people who remark on Maas’s punctuation alone, and how awful it is, but that’s a different story for me. The SA is very much present. Rhysand gives Feyrat a drug so she can’t remember anything and paints her head to toe in this special paint that allows him to know if someone else has touched her besides him. She’s forced to wear a super revealing dress and is made to lap dance on him all night in front of tons of people.

Maas routinely uses the same characteristics for all her male characters and female characters. I.E. They’re the most beautiful in all the land, they’re super powerful, and even if God, creator of all came down, they could beat tf outta him and he’d scurry into the corner afraid of them. Not even the Devil could tangle with these guys. She uses one template for every every character that’s a favorite of hers, and honestly probably just in general. She does that Wattpad thing where she describes the outfit of a character, has the same writing style of a 13-year-old on Wattpad, etc. she tries so so hard to remember that people of color and gays exist, but only bc people remind her they exist. Usually minorities end up dead, usually in a gruesome manner, and they’re so sidelined that they only have one line and the studio can’t afford to give them more lines so you only see them in passing. World building is so bad I can only imagine them in a plain room every time. Sex scenes are cringey and makes me wonder. All main male leads are the dark, dangerous, I can hurt you, but I’m a good man, who is honest and believes your p*ssy would tempt Adam, and make Lucifer fall from grace. It is the forbidden apple.

On top of all that, she can’t even remember her own story, so multiple things get contradicted or ignored, as if they never happened or existed. She can’t even remember what names she’s already used for characters, and uses the same name for more than one character between series’. I know that in a large world that two people can share the same name, but Mess isn’t that smart to consider the idea of a name registry.

God, I can go on, but there’s too much.

Thank you for your ask! Hugs and kisses! 💜

[n00dl3gal]

Like Old Times (Father-Son Bonding AU)

A direct sequel to the “Expiration Date” fic, which I’ll link in a reblog. I’ve also posted all my fics in this AU to AO3!! Thanks again to @thetriggeredhappy for their help and just generally being a cool dude, and the Scoutsune Discord server for indulging my brainrot

No warnings beyond family schmoop!

Less than an hour after the bread monster incident, the Administrator called for a ceasefire. “Only while your base is repaired,” she said over the TV screen. “BLU is quite disappointed in this negligence- as am I. Regardless, you may use these three days as you see fit. Go home, stay here- whatever you do, no more bread monsters.” The screen turned off with a click. 

Scout exhaled through his nose. He was thankful there was no mention of him or Miss Pauling’s woodchipper. 

Spy decloaked behind him. “Less time than I wanted, but c’est la vie.” Scout looked at him over his shoulder. “I’m meeting with an old contact during our break,” Spy said in Italian. “Would you like to come along? It’ll be like old times.” 

Scout’s brow furrowed, but he nodded. At least this way, he’d get out of helping Engie and Heavy with repairs. And possibly meeting Miss Pauling’s woodchipper. 

“Excellent. Our flight is at 7 AM tomorrow.” 

“We’re flying commercial?” Scout asked, also in (more hesitant) Italian. 

“Our destination is continental. We’ll leave the base by 5:30.” Scout groaned as Spy started to leave. But- wait, he hadn’t- 

“Oi, where are we going, anyway?” he called back in English. 

Spy paused to look at him and smile. “Boston.” 

“Why do we always get the ass-crack-of-dawn flights?” Jeremy asked groggily, reclining his seat.

“They are the ones with first-class seats available,” Raphael replied. He took a sip from his mimosa. 

“Yeah, cuz God forbid you fly coach for once.” Jeremy shifted, trying to get comfortable. “Hey. Have I ever been to Boston before?”

Raphael didn’t answer immediately. His lip sucked in, as if in thought. “Yes. When you were very, very young. You wouldn’t remember.” 

Jeremy nodded. He wanted to ask more, there was something Raphael wasn’t saying but… well, he was never a morning person. He fell asleep before the plane even took off. 

. . .

It was mid-afternoon by the time they landed in Boston. Jeremy was never fond of long flights; having his legs cramped like that for extended periods of time was murder. He was half tempted to take a jog around Logan International. Raphael, on the other hand, was ushering them both to the car rental. “Can’t even get a stretch in, huh?”

“Unfortunately, we are expected by 4, and I would hate to keep my contact waiting,” Raphael explained in French, accepting the keys from the girl at the counter. “She’s not a very patient woman, in some regards.” 

Jeremy huffed but didn’t argue. He just followed his father to the rental, tossing his suitcase in the backseat. “Y’know, the girl at the counter-” 

“We will not have time for you to go out on a date, Jeremy.” 

“No! No, it was- her accent’s kinda like mine, it’s weird,” Jeremy said. Raphael started the car. “Cuz I’ve only been here as a baby, and I got mine from TV and shit. It’s just… really strange, is all.” 

Raphael made a quiet noise of agreement. “Some of the shows you watched as a child were filmed here. It’s not as complex as you think it is.” 

“Yeah, probably not…” 

The pair lapsed into silence as Raphael drove. Storefronts and high rises morphed into houses. It had been a while since they were in a residential area. RED, for understandable reasons, kept away from civilians. 

Raphael took the roads with practiced experience. Sure, it had been implied he knew the area. If he had a contact here- one with a house, presumably- he must’ve spent time here. But this- this was far too familiar. A bit suspicious, actually. 

Eventually, Raphael slowed in front of a more rundown Brownstone. Still quite nice, just needed a little work. It felt… welcoming, in a way Jeremy couldn’t name.

“Lotta cars,” he observed as Raphael parallel parked. “Must be a party going on somewhere.” 

“Hmm, perhaps,” Raphael said, turning the car off. “Would you mind ringing the doorbell for me? I need to grab something from the trunk. Ask for Sara Jane.” 

OK, now Jeremy knew something was up. He was never the one to make the first contact, that was always Dad’s job. Jeremy might be a full-grown adult, but there were some things that didn’t change. This was one of them. 

Still, he nodded. He climbed up the front steps and ringed the doorbell. He heard- multiple voices from inside, predominantly male, but they quickly silenced themselves. A TV, perhaps? They really ought to get that flower box on the second story window fixed- 

The woman who opened the door was a bit shorter than him, though not by much. She was wearing a simple dress, hoop earrings, and flats. Her hair was dark, curved to her chin. But her nose and earlobes felt… achingly familiar. Like Jeremy saw them all the time. 

“Um, hi, I’m looking for Sara Jane? My name’s-” The rest of his speech was knocked out of him as the woman launched herself at him. Jeremy braced for an attack, but quickly realized she was… hugging him. 

She was hugging him, sobbing, and choked out the word “Jeremy.” 

Wait. He knew that voice. He had only heard it a few times in his life, few enough he could count them on one hand, but he knew it. “M-Ma?” he whispered. 

The woman- Sara Jane- Ma looked up at him, still crying. Her hands found his face as she observed him. “Y-yeah, sweetie, it’s me, it’s-it’s your ma,” she said. 

“Ma!” he laughed, tears of his own dancing down his cheeks. He hugged her back, practically lifting her off her feet. “Oh my God, Ma! I-I never thought I’d-” 

“Oh Jeremy, sweetie, look how tall you’ve gotten! Last I saw you, you fit in my arms! My baby, my handsome baby,” she spoke over him. She rubbed circles into his back as they embraced. It felt so, so right. 

Jeremy laughed even harder. “Are you kiddin’? I got it from you, you’re beautiful, Ma!” He stared at her, trying to commit every mole and wrinkle and perfect flaw to memory. “I can’t believe- oh my God, I’m actually meeting you!” 

“It was long overdue,” another voice said, as Raphael joined them on the front stoop. “I had put it off for safety reasons, but considering our current, ah, situation… I felt it was worth the risk.” 

Sara Jane squealed, pulling Raphael into the hug as well. “You’ve been taking good care of my boy, you promise me, Raphael?” 

“Don’t worry Ma, he’s the best dad I could ask for, considering,” Jeremy teased. 

“Oh, don’t I know it. Called me up last night and told me to get the whole motley crew together. Even managed to get Melvin to bring his twin daughters, bless his wife’s heart,” she explained. 

Jeremy blinked. “Uh- Melvin? Daughters?”

Sara Jane laughed. It sounded so much like Jeremy’s it practically hurt. This was his mother. Lord, he’s finally seeing her. “Melvin’s your older brother, sweetie. Eh, sixth oldest. Bobby’s the oldest.” 

“I have a brother?”

“Oh honey, you’re the youngest of eight,” Sara Jane said plainly. 

“...fuck,” Jeremy whispered. 

. . .

He didn’t just have seven brothers. He had seven brothers, four of which brought their wives, one who brought his boyfriend, and three who brought their kids. And the kids totaled to an additional six, counting the babies. 

It was… an admittedly tight squeeze in the living room. 

Sara Jane introduced Jeremy. Jeremy had been expecting to be treated like a stranger. He had vanished when he was a baby, after all, and his younger-older brothers probably wouldn’t remember him at all. 

And yet, it was like he knew them all his life. 

They teased him and punched him playfully and acted so friendly, so familial it nearly made Jeremy break down. He was still crying from meeting Ma, but being dogpiled with so much affection was suffocating. In a good way. He had seen on sitcoms the intrinsic bond between family, and while he felt it with Dad, they also risked their lives nearly daily. But it was real, it was here, and it was wrapping him in a warm blanket. 

Despite the chaos and the sheer number of people, Jeremy didn’t feel overwhelmed. He laughed and played along with their jokes, cracking some back when he could get a word in. Scott ragged on his dog tags, he countered by pointing out the hole in his pants. Michael told him he was still a shortass, he replied with “it takes one to know one.” Elliot and Ricky were the closest to actually getting hurt, and that was only because Jeremy elbowed them both so hard they nearly fell over. 

For the first time in 25 years, Jeremy understood what “home” meant. 

The kids were especially curious, eager to meet their uncle and step-grandfather. Within seconds, young Rebecca- only four years old- was challenging Jeremy to a race around the house. “I’m the fastest kid in the world,” she bragged, puffing out her chest. 

“Oh yeah?” Jeremy asked. “That a fact?”

“You wanna test me? I beat Johnny Three-Legs at running, and he’s got three legs!” Jeremy laughed and stood from the couch, letting her lead him outside. “On the count of three, OK?”

“You’re on, pipsqueak,” Jeremy teased.

“Onetwothree GO!” Rebecca yelled, taking off in a sprint. Jeremy knew that, by all accounts, he should beat her. His legs were longer, she didn’t have the proper running stance, and it was his job to be fast. That’s what he got paid to do. But some small voice was telling him to let her win, so he did. “Ha! I told ya!” 

“Ya sure did,” he replied, mock panting. “Look at you, a freaking blur on the green. You’re goin’ to the Olympics, kid.” 

Rebecca beamed and hugged his leg. “Promise, Uncle Jeremy?” He nodded because, after that display, there was no way he could speak without squeaking like a chew toy. 

Rebecca skipped back inside, past Raphael, who was watching on the stoop. “You’re a natural with children,” he observed. “I used to do the same thing when you were that age.” 

“Wait- wait, really? You sure fooled me,” Jeremy said. 

Raphael rolled his eyes. “What’s my job again, mon lapin?”

“Yeah, yeah…” Jeremy leaned against the railing, watching Raphael’s cigarette smoke in the wind. “Hey. Uh… thanks for arranging all of this. You really didn’t need to.”

“But I did. I meant it when I said this was overdue. I’ve been wanting to introduce you to the rest of the family for a while, but have been unable. Then that whole ordeal with the supposed tumors, and-” Raphael exhaled slowly. “It wouldn’t have been fair to you if you died without knowing them. I would’ve never forgiven myself.” 

Jeremy punched his shoulder lightly. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, pops. It all worked out, we’re still kicking, and that roast chicken Ma’s making smells incredible. Everything’s perfect.” 

Raphael finished his cigarette and smiled. “Oui. It is.” 

. . .

While Sara Jane had been able to get the rest of the family here, it was a school night. Kids needed to be tucked in by 9:30, so most of Jeremy’s brothers were gone by 8. Elliot was staying overnight, as was his boyfriend. Otherwise, the house quickly went from bustling to barren. 

It gave Jeremy a chance to explore his would-be childhood home.

He made his way upstairs, pushing open one of the doors. It led- to little surprise- to a bedroom. It was set up like a nursery, with a crib in one corner and a toddler bed in the other. Toys were scattered about across the floor. 

He heard Sara Jane sigh behind him. “This was your room, you know.” Jeremy turned to look at her as she flipped the light switch. “That crib… I had put you to bed the night your father planned to fake his death. I was in on the whole plan, naturally. He wanted to hold you one last time, so I said OK. When I woke up the next morning… you were both gone.” She exhaled slowly, grabbing onto his shoulder. “I wrote both of you off as dead, but I knew what had happened. Honestly, should’ve figured it out before then. You hadn’t woken me up crying,” she joked. Her eyes were watering. 

Jeremy hugged her, pulling her close. “You never took the crib down?” 

“By the time I was ready, Bobby’s wife was pregnant, so I kept it up for my grandbabies. I knew- I knew you were out there, sweetie. Both of you.” She kissed his cheek, squeezing him.

“I-I never got to be a normal kid, really,” he confessed. “I mean, Dad did his best, gave me comic books and board games and stuff, but-but I never went to school or made friends or anything like that. I-I didn’t even know I had a family. It took me forever to even realize I had a Ma. An-and everything I did-” The tears were flowing again, more freely than earlier. “Ya missed me losing my first tooth, and potty trainin’, and all that stuff parents should know about. I-I’m sorry,” he whispered. 

Sara Jane wiped his cheek dry. “Don’t apologize for what your father did, Jeremy. And definitely don’t apologize for me not potty training another kid. Besides… hold on, I’ll be right back.” She made her way down the hallway. Jeremy didn’t follow, instead deciding to examine the crib. This was where he grew up. It was a simple crib, obviously well-used. Not worn-down, mind, just… used. It had a history. A history that Jeremy wanted to decode, but unlike his dad’s ciphers, he didn’t have the key. 

“Took me a second to find it,” Sara Jane said. She handed him what appeared to be a scrapbook. “Raphael- he wrote when he can. Taught me some basic codes, would send out letters whenever you’d leave a town. Never left a return address, but…” Jeremy flipped through the pages, moving to sit on the small bed. The letters were all coded but appeared to be about how much Raphael missed Sara Jane. Updates on Jeremy’s growth. Letters from a father to his lover and son’s mother. 

One page jumped out to him, though. “I remember this,” he said, running his fingers against the paper. It was a simple drawing of a young boy, holding a catcher’s mitt, and a taller man next to him. “I drew this after Dad took me to my first baseball game, for my eighth birthday. I thought I lost the drawing after we skipped town, but- he sent them to you?”

Sara Jane nodded. “And I kept them all. Oh, honey, the day I first heard your voice on the phone- Mikey can tell you, I damn near fell over. You sounded so happy, and even if I couldn’t see you, that’s all a mother wants.” Jeremy leaned against her and she shut the book. “That’s all a mother wants, sweetie. To see her kids be safe and happy.” 

“I am, Ma,” he assured her. “I promise.” 

They sat like that for a while, with Sara Jane commenting on various letters and drawings in the scrapbook. Apparently, Raphael sent her money when he could- more frequently now that Mann Co. paid so well. She also had a rough idea of their current occupations. “I figure, if you and your father are working for the same company- with his skills, there’s gotta be a whole lot of nonsense going on out in that desert.” Jeremy laughed at that because she wasn’t wrong. “But I also figure since he raised you right, he’ll keep the both of you safe.” 

“I keep him safe too, don’t worry,” Jeremy added. “Uh- listen, it’s touching and all you kept the crib, but I don’t have to sleep in it, right?” 

They both had a good chuckle over that. Their laughs were in perfect harmony. 

. . .

The next two days were a mix of learning the family history and exploring Boston. It was the offseason, so there weren’t any games going on at Fenway, but Jeremy still got a picture in front of the park. Sara Jane took the pair to a restaurant that served “the best damn clam chowder in the contiguous United States.” Which, incidentally, led them to discover Jeremy was allergic to clams. Thankfully they didn’t have to go to the hospital- he just sort of immediately got sick before it passed- but it did suck.

It was damn good chowder, though. 

They went down to the harbor where the Boston Tea Party happened. It was crowded with people, resulting in them not staying long. Jeremy was a bit better with crowds than Raphael, but neither was great with them. Came with the job. Getting overpriced memorabilia from a nearby gift shop, though, went over much more smoothly. 

When not out on the town, Sara Jane dug out more scrapbooks and photo albums, catching Raphael up on what his stepsons had been up to. She showed Jeremy pictures from Ricky’s first school play to Scott opening up his butcher shop. Graduation pictures, wedding pictures, baby pictures- it was all there, and Jeremy devoured it. He wanted to know these people. He wanted to know his family. And he did. He learned about Michael’s stint in the Navy, Melvin meeting his wife, how Bobby’s son could dribble a basketball for twenty minutes straight. He learned about how his parents met. How Raphael loved each of Sara Jane’s children, even if they weren’t biologically his. How Jeremy wasn’t planned- few of the kids were - but they were both so, so happy to realize he was coming. 

He also learned that, while diner food would remain the undisputed king, homemade meatloaf came pretty close. 

. . .

The only problem came when it was time to leave. It wasn’t that Jeremy didn’t want to return to work, or leave his Ma behind. Sara Jane wasn’t even torn up over losing her son and lover again. It just felt like there was so much left to say, to do. There was uncertainty as to when they’d be able to return. “We get time off for Smissmas, I know that’s months away but I’ll be here, I promise,” Jeremy swore, hugging Sara Jane for the eighth time. 

“You better,” she said, squeezing him tightly. “You have 25 years worth of gifts to catch up on, not to mention birthday gifts-”

“Ma, you don’t have to go that far,” he whined. He was touched, sure, but the thought of that much luggage was truly frightening. Oh God, he was going to have to get gifts for everybody, wasn’t he? What do kids even want for Smissmas? 

“Hush, let me spoil my baby,” Sara Jane told him, kissing his cheek. “Oh, Jeremy…” 

Jeremy nodded. “I know, but I’ll call. I’ll write, too. Send pictures if I can.” 

“I’ll make sure he does,” Raphael assured her. Sara Jane stood to kiss his lips, with Jeremy looking away pointedly. “You have my word, ma petite chou-fleur.” 

“Alright, alright- now get going, I don’t want you two missing your flight. That boss of yours sounds like she’ll tear you both a new one if you’re late,” Sara Jane said, shooing them away. “Love you boys!” 

“I love you too, Ma!” Jeremy shouted back, for the very first time. 

The drive back to the airport was quiet. Jeremy stared out the window, watching his hometown- he had a hometown- pass by. “Hey, dad?” he asked, still looking outside. Raphael grunted to acknowledge he was listening. “One of these days, our contracts with Mann Co. are gonna expire. We’re gonna have to find new jobs.” 

“Yes, that’s correct,” Raphael said. He tapped a rhythm against the steering wheel. 

“And-and I was thinking when that time comes… maybe we could come back to Boston. Find some gigs out here,” Jeremy suggested. 

Raphael sighed. “Unfortunately, being a spy means that you don’t have the option of retiring, Jeremy. Not until you’re unable to complete your job. At that point, though, you’ve probably died a dozen times over,” he explained. “Even if I could retire, settling down somewhere so close to people I care about- I would still have enemies.” 

“Right. ‘Course,” Jeremy said. “It’s OK.” 

“That being said,” Raphael continued, “you have the luxury of youth and not being tied down to such a career. If you want to find a job in Boston after we finish with RED, there’s nothing stopping you.” 

“But people will still be after me, since I’m your son. And you wouldn’t be around.”

“Every child leaves their parents someday. And you’re strong, Jeremy. You can protect yourself and your family.” Raphael smiled. “I don’t believe Sara Jane needs much protecting, but I do worry.” 

Jeremy laughed. “I mean, did ya see the muscles on Scott and Michael? Guys can probably bench press a tractor!” 

They both chuckled before settling into quietude. Eventually, though, Jeremy had to break the silence. His voice was barely above a whisper. “I love you.” 

“I love you too, mon lapin.”

“...so your nickname for Ma is fucking ‘little cauliflower?’ What the hell, Dad?” 

[floresmarique]

Hello! This is the first one shot i wrote that you can find on my Wattpad too! Also, sorry if there are some mistakes, i'm italian so sometimes i still struggle a bit with my english but i hope you like it ♡

Plot; You are a new pupil in the Cobra Kai dojo and to impress John Kreese you fight with his best student, Johnny lawrence. But Johnny will develop some special feelings towards you...

WARNING: This one shot will contain smut and a bit of violence.

Tags; oral, swallowing, a little bit of bully Johnny at the beginning and a tiny bit of fluff.

Enjoy!

~

Since (Y/N) was a kid, she always wanted to enter the fascinating world of Martial Arts but never had the economic possibility to afford the lessons.

But now that she was in California and her parents had a new well paid job, they encouraged her to join a Karate school and she couldn't believe that when they first told her about it with smiling faces.They always knew that (Y/N) wanted to learn Karate as a child and, with the new money they were making, her parents supported (Y/N)'s passion, which made her happy.

Everytime she came back from school, she always stopped by that dojo called 'Cobra Kai'. (Y/N) couldn't stop looking at the perfect moves of those boys, at their amazing grit.

But there was a thing that worried her; she never saw a girl inside the dojo.

Not having girls was kinda old minded and sexist in her opinion.

It's the 80s, for gods sake!

She thought.

But trying wouldn't be too bad, right?

So one day after school, she finally decided to enter inside that place and the first thing her ears heard were some screamed words by the boys. They all looked like soldiers and the Sensei looked like the captain.

"Strike first, strike hard, no mercy!" They shouted in unison and (Y/N) furrowed her brows.

What kind of motto was that?

She didn't know what she was supposed to do, so she just cleared her throat to catch their attention, hoping to not get humiliated by them or the Sensei.

The Sensei looked very rough and rude and the girl noticed that he had a cobra tattooed on his arm, he was the only one with a black gi while everyone else had a white one.

She always wanted to wear one.

The tall man walked towards her, trying to intimidate her with his glare but (Y/N) kept her head high and stared him in the eyes with a straight face.

"How can i help you?" He spoke with a slight grin on his face.

"I'd like to join your dojo."

After her answer, everyone bursted in a loud laugh and (Y/N) started to feel uncomfortable, especially with the man's glare on her.

"We do not accept girls." Was his simple response and she wasn't surprised about it, but disappointed for sure.

"Why not? Girls are capable of kick asses just like boys."

She didn't expect to be that bold, but did she care? No.

She wanted to challenge herself and demonstrate to those immature people that girls can be just as strong.

"That's very brave of you..." He started to slowly walk around her in a circle, only to stop again in front of her with his arms crossed. "I could give you a chance."

(Y/N) smirked, proud of herself while she took off her shoes to stand on the tatami. She was so excited and loved to see the disappointed looks on the boys faces.

"Let's see how good of a fighter you are, shall we?" The Sensei said and she nodded, repeating in her head the techniques she found in some martial arts books.

She felt ready.

"Lawrence, come here."

A blonde, tall boy with a muscular figure stood on the Sensei side, his expression was filled with anger. (Y/N) also noticed that he had a black eye and a black headband wrapped around his head. She couldn't deny that he was pretty hot, but she was too determined to get distracted.

"He's one of my best boys." Sensei smirked and the boys shared an amused look while sitting down on the tatami in a circle. "Good luck."

The man walked away and she and the boy remained at the center of the tatami in the attack position.

The blonde smirked before speaking.

"I'm gonna go easy on yo-" Before he could finish his sentence, (Y/N) kicked him right on top of his stomach, which made the boys howl in amusement. She was the one smirking now, standing again in the same position as before.

"I'm not gonna go easy on you, blondie." (Y/N) stated, and that was where the boy lost it. He started attacking her with punches and kicks that she perfectly shielded, just to punch him right in the face and kick him on his black belt, making him fall on his back.

Before he could stand up again, (Y/N) positioned herself on his lap and bent forward to put her hands under his shoulders to block him with her dead weight. She once saw that position on a book and it was kinda awkward to do since it looked like she was hugging him.

She could smell his sweat and a little bit of perfume, but she also could feel his warm breath against her forehead and it made her shiver a bit. He was attractive and being that close to him clouded her senses so much that she didn't hear Sensei's voice.

"Enough, you can stand up." He demanded.

When they both stood up, the blonde guy adjusted his gi and looked at her dead in the eyes while (Y/N) observed the shocked expressions of the other boys.

"What's your name?" The Sensei asked, walking towards her again. She tried to catch a little bit of breath before answering.

"(Y/N) (L/N)."

"Well, (Y/N), you're in. Consider yourself lucky, this is a privilege."

(Y/N) couldn't contain her happiness and a smile formed on her lips. She was proud of herself and she was sure that even her parents would have been.

"Thank you, Sensei." She said, but before he could respond, she heard the boy behind them speak.

"What?! Is this a joke?!" The same blonde blue eyed boy spoke. "I let her win, obviously. I bet she is not gonna resist a week here."

"Johnny, i'm the one who makes the decisions here."

So his name was Johnny.

Johnny Lawrence.

She heard of him at school, he was considered the 'bad guy' along with his mates but (Y/N) wasn't intimidated by them.

(Y/N) smirked and held out her hand for Johnny to shake.

"Pleasure to finally meet you, Johnny Lawrence."

He looked at her hand and then stared into her eyes with a killing glare.

"The pleasure is all yours."

Johnny refused to shake her hand and walked away, but that didn't wash (Y/N)'s smirk off her face because she had him exactly where she wanted.

She liked some rivalry.

Or so she thought.

For the next weeks, Johnny made her life a living hell.

He would tease her at school or he would start fights while she walked home, fights that (Y/N) either refused or won. Johnny had enough of that. He couldn't believe that a girl, a so innocent looking girl, could always beat his ass better than him.

On the other hand, Johnny also knew that he could hurt her bad if he wanted to, but the truth was that he didn't want to make her suffer. He didn't want to ruin her pretty face with a kick, so in a certain sense he let her always won.

Johnny knew about her even before she came into the dojo that day, he saw her multiple times around Ali or during P.E.

And he wanted her.

His friends thought that he still had his mind set on Ali, but he moved on as soon as he saw (Y/N) at school and when he saw her enter the dojo, his heart was beating so fast that he was afraid she would actually notice it. When she got on top of his lap to block him, Johnny smelled her hair and felt all of her warmth on his body.

And he got a boner too in that exact moment.

There was something about that look on her innocent face, about her fake naivety that he just loved and needed in every sense of the word.

He teased her only to be around her, only to hear her voice again even if it was just to tell him to fuck off.

But he wasn't the only one who was crushing hard on her.

Bobby, his mate, always talked about her to Johnny.

"I want to ask her on a date." He once told Johnny and the rage he felt inside was about to explode, but he couldn't let them know his feelings.

Not yet.

"Why would you do that mate?" Johnny scoffed. "Our plan is to kick her out of Cobra Kai. She will only cause trouble to our dojo. A girl, please, i don't know what Sensei was thinking. Everyone will laugh at us at the tournament because of her."

Johnny was talking bullshit.

She was perfect for Cobra Kai, she had determination and strenght that even some boys would envy.

She would kick everyone's ass at the tournament.

But he couldn't let Bobby ask her out, because he was sure that she would say yes. They always chatted a bit at the dojo during stretching and they even had two or three classes together.

"Johnny, i think you are exaggerating a little bit. She's a badass and god, so pretty."

And after that, Johnny knew that he had to make her his before Bobby would find the courage to ask her out.

And that time came soon.

After another lesson, (Y/N) went to the changing room to take a shower, as always. She was very surprised that there was a changing room for girls since she was the first one that was accepted, but she never questioned it and was pretty happy to have a whole changing room for herself.

She had plans tho, about revolutionating the whole Cobra Kai so that other girls could join in. She also wasn't a fan of their 'no mercy' motto, honor was much more important to her.

While cleaning up her body under the water, she mentally repeated all the things she learned during the last lesson so that she wouldn't forget them and she got so concentrated that she didn't hear steps inside the changing room.

She hummed 'Girls Just Want To Have Fun' while wrapping a towel around her wet body and stepped out of the showers while looking down, adjusting the towel.

"Ohh girls, just wanna have- what the fuck are you doing here?!" Looking up, she saw Johnny completely relaxed on the bench of the changing room, his hair were still a little damp and the blue tight sweater he was wearing perfectly hugged his muscles.

"So is it true, you just wanna have fun?" He raised an eyebrow and gave her a cocky smile.

(Y/N) blushed and wrapped the towel even tighter around her body, embarassed.

"Johnny, what the fuck are you doing here?" She repeated, her cheeks were flushed, both for the rage and embarassment. "Can't you read? It says girls changing room."

"I'm exactly where i'm supposed to be." He stood up from the bench and towered over her figure. (Y/N) rolled her eyes and started brushing her hair while looking into the mirror. "I just wanted to see my dear friend."

(Y/N) widened her eyes and scoffed, shaking her head.

"Friend?" She scrunched up her hair and stared at Johnny's reflection in the mirror. "Since when?"

"Since today." He crossed his arms and observed her, amused by the situation.

"Ok, well, friend" she turned around and sighed. "Can we be friends after i get dressed? We'll talk about this later outside of the changing room."

"Change here, i don't mind. You will not need clothes anyway pretty soon." He nonchalantly said, trying to hide his grin.

"Well i do mind actually, what the hell are-" before (Y/N) could finish her comeback, Johnny pressed his lips on her soft ones, completely shocking her. It was a short kiss, just to see her reaction.

When he pulled away, he stared into her eyes and saw shock in them, but also something that made him smirk.

Lust.

She didn't slap him or even tried to back off. Her slightly open lips and her red cheeks said it all, Johnny didn't need words.

He kissed her again, but in a more ferocious way, and she did the same thing. All the attraction they had for each other was coming out from their bodies and actions.

Johnny backed off while taking her with him, so that he would sit on the bench with her on top of him. She gripped his large shoulders and moaned a little bit when she felt his boner against her thighs. Johnny groaned and held her neck with one hand while the other easily took off the towel from (Y/N)'s still wet body.

"I've wanted to do this for so long." He sighed into her mouth and deepened the kiss. His hands were roaming on her body, not knowing where to stop. He touched her shoulders, her breasts, her arms, her legs.

Her skin was soft and the smell of her was driving him crazy. (Y/N) kissed his cheeks, his forehead and then his lips again, with a desperation that made Johnny even more turned on.

"I always wanted you too..." (Y/N) softly said and caressed his cheek while leaving wet kisses on his jawline and neck. Johnny closed his eyes and then opened them again, he needed to see her desperate for him. He needed to remember her face, her body, the pretty shades of her skin. He wanted her to be printed in his mind for the rest of his life.

"Yeah?" His voice was a lot deeper than usual and also rough. "Fuck, come here."

He took her face in his hands and kissed her again, feeling her little fingers on the buttons of his blue jeans. He knew that she wasn't as innocent as she made people think. And he loved it so much.

"Wait-" He spoke with a ragged breath. "Am i- am i your first?"

He searched for her eyes and when she kept looking down, he raised her chin with two of his fingers so that she could look into his blue eyes.

"Y-Yes." She stuttered.

She was ashamed, but Johnny felt like he was touching heaven with his fingertips.

Because she was the first one for him too.

"You are my first too." He admitted and lightly kissed the top of her nose.

"What about Ali?" (Y/N) furrowed her eyebrows in disbelief.

"We never did anything like this, only some make out sessions...but never like this." He caressed her lips with his fingers and bit his lip, staring down at her naked body.

He thought she was perfect, every curve on her body was, and he felt lucky to have her in that moment. To even speak to her. She was a goddess for him and he knew he needed to keep her in his life forever, because someone like her would be too hard to forget.

She was something else.

"You know, we don't have to rush..." Johnny calmy said, his voice was soft now and he made sure to keep eye contact with her.

He cared.

"I know, it's fine, i want to do it." (Y/N) said, confident about her decision.

"You want to do it... in a changing room?" Johnny raised his eyebrow and (Y/N) giggled at his shocked expression while caressing his golden damp locks.

"Well, wasn't it your plan?" She asked with a grin and Johnny rolled his eyes, a slight blush was appearing on his cheeks.

"Sort of..." He sighed "I just, i don't want our first time to be here, i want it to be more intimate and special."

(Y/N) thought about that and realized that he was right. They didn't even have condoms and it would have been too uncomfortable to have sex for the first time on a bench, considering the pain.

"I guess you are right." She nodded and gave him a peck on the lips. "But... we could do something else..."

Her fingertips traced the line of his abs, covered by his tight sweater. Johnny inhaled some air and rested the back of his head against the wall, grinning at her.

"Well, that was what i had in my mind in the first place..." He winked at her and took her hand that was placed on his belly, just to place it down on the buttons of his jeans. "Let's see how good you are now..."

(Y/N) felt a certain warmth in her stomach at his words and stared at his eyes while unbuttoning his jeans, her fingers were fast and almost desperate to feel him. Johnny eagerly helped her lower his pants, his white boxers showed the prominent boner under them.

(Y/N) slowly got on the cold floor, on her knees between Johnny's legs. Her heart was beating fast against her chest, she felt heat all up in her body and a deep desire for Johnny. She never saw a dick before, except for that one time in her old city where one of her friends had an adult magazine at school and showed it to everyone, and (Y/N) was pretty grossed out by the view of a penis.

"Do you want it?" Johnny deeply asked, his eyes were filled with desire and lust.

"Yes." (Y/N) said and slowly lowered the waistband of his boxers, only to display his full hard lenght.

She didn't feel grossed out now.

Johnny noticed her surprised expression and softly laughed.

"Like what you see, baby?"

(Y/N) shivered at the pet name and nodded, taking his member in her hand to observe it better. Johnny slightly panted at that and gulped, wanting to feel her hand around him.

"Stroke it slowly, baby..." Johnny placed an hand on one of (Y/N)'s shoulders to keep her going.

She did as she was told and observed his eyes and expressions to understand if she was doing it the right way and, judging by his heavy pants, she was.

"Like that?" She innocently asked, pressing her palm on his lenght while stroking it.

"Fuck, yes, like that" Johnny was already a moaning mess, (Y/N) never saw him look more vulnerable than that and she liked to be the one that made him feel that way. The skin of his dick was smooth and warm and it was probably 7 inches long. The head was red and wet with pre-cum that (Y/N) decided to taste with the tip of her tongue, causing Johnny to groan.

"Oh, god- yeah, keep doing that baby..." (Y/N) smirked at his desperation and pressed her tongue on the head of his cock, licking it up and down. Her eyes never left his face, he looked completely gone to the pleasure.

He looked at her with half lidded eyes, his mouth was in a 'o' shape and he was starting to sweat, (Y/N) could see it on his forehead.

Johnny caressed her hair, encouraging her to take his lenght inside her mouth more. His legs were tensed and (Y/N) gripped his toned thighs while going down on him.

"Mmh..." Johnny closed his eyes and thrusted his hips a little forward, but still carefully and slowly to give her time. "Keep stroking it while you suck it, baby..."

(Y/N) welcomed his thrusts into her mouth and wrapped one hand around the end of his dick, stroking it a little faster. The changing room was filled with Johnny's moans and the sloppy sounds of (Y/N)'s mouth wrapped around him.

She could feel herself getting wetter by the second and felt the urge to touch the area between her legs for some friction.

"Oh shit, yes, yes, i'm so close, love-" Johnny took her head in his hands just to feel her movements and opened his eyes to stare down at her. The sight of the pretty girl he wanted for months on her knees with her swollen lips around his dick, were too much for him. "Baby, i'm about to cum-"

(Y/N) looked up at him and managed to show a little grin while staying on his cock, bobbing her head up and down faster than before.

Johnny took the hint; she wanted him to cum inside her mouth.

"Fuck, you want it don't you?" Johnny bit his lip and rested both of his hands on the sides of her face, his cheeks were flushed and his forehead was wet with sweat. "I'm coming, oh fuck, (Y/N)!"

(Y/N) stopped her movements but kept his lenght inside her mouth, she felt his dick contract various times and then a salty and warm liquid squirted on her tongue. His thighs tensed even more and he never left his grip on her face while riding off his orgasm. (Y/N) made sure to swallow everything till the last drop before letting his dick out of her mouth.

Both of them were breathing heavily and Johnny looked high, still trying to recover from the intense pleasure.

"Fuck" he sighed and smiled softly while watching her standing up. She had messy hair and flushed cheeks, her lips were pink and swollen and Johnny couldn't help but to kiss her. "You are incredible, baby..."

"Well, thank you!" (Y/N) giggled and Johnny stood up, kissing her again but only to make her sit on the bench, on the same place he was some seconds ago.

"But i can't let you go like this..." Johnny was now on the floor, gently opening her legs while staring into her eyes. (Y/N) was dying of embarassment, no one ever saw her intimate parts and she felt self conscious about it.

"Shh, don't worry, let me admire you..." Johnny could see that she was nervous and it was important for him to reassure her. He slowly parted her legs without breaking eye contact. Once he saw how wet she was, Johnny licked his lips and slightly smirked at her, amused by her embarassed expression.

"Do you want me?" He whispered, leaving a wet trail of kisses along her thigh. His blue eyes never left hers while doing so. (Y/N) tensed, feeling him that close to her private area was making her sweat. "Tell me."

"Yes, Johnny." She gulped. "I want you."

He took both of her legs and rested them on his shoulders, getting closer to her pulsating pussy.

"Even out of this changing room?"

(Y/N) smiled and nodded, but Johnny wanted to hear her.

"Tell me." He kissed her inner thigh, getting even more closer to her vagina.

"Yes." She panted. "I want you, always."

Johnny grinned and before (Y/N) could blink, he pressed his entire tongue on her aching pussy, making her moan. He kept looking at her, holding her legs with his strong arms and he started to move his tongue in circular motions on her clit.

"Oh, Johnny..." She gasped and tugged at his blonde hair. Everything was new to her, she never felt something like that and she would have never imagined it to happen with Johnny. She for sure dreamed about it, but never expected it to become reality.

"You like it, baby girl?" He asked her, his voice was deep and his lips red and shiny because of her fluids.

"Yes, Johnny, so much!" She moaned when the blonde started sucking on her clit like he was hungry. He was breathing heavily against her, she could feel his warm breath on her pussy and it made her crazy.

"You taste so good, love..." Johnny whispered and reached one of her breasts with an hand to gently stroke her nipple. "You're so beautiful, fuck."

With his other hand, Johnny teased her entrance with one of his fingers but never left her clit untouched. He slowly inserted the tip of his finger inside of her, feeling how tight she was. (Y/N) let out a light squeal at that.

"How do you feel?" He asked her and slowly pumped the tip of his finger inside her.

"It kinda burns, but it's okay." She panted and nodded.

Johnny repeated the same action and watched as she threw her head back in pleasure. He smirked and added a little bit more of his finger inside of her while applying pressure to her clit with his tongue. He felt her legs shake a bit and heard her ragged breath and he couldn't help but think that she was absolutely perfect in those conditions.

She was close and he could see it and feel it.

"Please, Johnny- Oh!" Hearing her moaning his name made him pump his finger faster with the movements of his tongue.

"What do you want?" He groaned against her.

"I want to cum, fuck!"

"Look at me." He demanded. He needed to have her eyes placed on him, it was like a kink for him. "I want you to look at me while you cum on my tongue..."

(Y/N) looked at him but keeping her eyes open was an hard task with that intense pleasure. She wondered where he learned to do that since he said it was his first time, but he probably just was a natural talent.

Just like her.

(Y/N) felt a weird sensation build up in her stomach, a very heavy feeling and she knew what that meant.

"Johnny, i can't!" She panted and tugged harder at his hair, making him groan.

"Cum then, cum for me (Y/N)..."

And she did.

She did while moaning his name repeatedly, trying to look at him while her toes curled behind his back. Johnny had a proud smirk on his wet swollen lips and licked  her fluids with pleasure before standing up to kiss her sweetly on the lips.

(Y/N) still had a ragged breath and was recovering from her orgasm, but she was also scared.

What if he's gonna be an asshole again now and this was just a joke for him? She thought.

They both silently fixed themselves and (Y/N) finally got dressed. Her hair were almost completely dry and she didn't know how to act and wondered why he was so silent now, fixing his hair and clothes infront of the mirror. He looked like nothing happened while (Y/N) was still shocked.

"Will you go out with me this Friday?" He asked and turned around, resting his back against the wall. (Y/N) felt better after his question and gave him a smile.

"Well, usually, boys ask a girl out before they finger fuck her in a changing room-" she grinned and Johnny crossed his arms while letting out a laugh. "But sure, why not."

"Always a tease, aren't you?" He hugged her from behind and (Y/N) felt butterflies in her stomach while he rested his chin on top of her shoulder. "We could go to the Arcade, mh?"

Before she could respond, they heard the voices of the other boys outside of the changing room.

"Johnny!" They shouted. "We have to go, where the hell are you?!"

Johnny sighed and shook his head before speaking again.

"Seems like we are gonna need another shower when we get home, don't you think?"

(Y/N) giggled and gave him a fake disappointed look.

"Yeah, you jerk!" She laughed while putting on her shoes. Johnny gave her a peck on the right cheek and then proceeded to walk away. "Wait, Johnny, have you spied on me while i was under the shower?"

Johnny chuckled and turned his head to look at her.

"Doesn't matter anyway, now."

And after winking at her, he left the changing room with a big proud smile on his face. His mates were shocked when they saw him get out of the girls changing room and howled like little kids.

"Man, what did you do?!" Tommy asked while patting Johnny's shoulder.

Johnny shrugged and smirked.

"Nothing impressive, i'm taking her out on a date on friday."

Bobby was confused and Johnny could see the disappointment written all over his face.

"I thought you wanted to kick her o-"

"There are a lot of things you still don't know about me, dear Bobby" Johnny gave him a friendly slap on the cheek and then saw (Y/N) getting out of the changing room. She waved at everyone and gave a particular smile to Johnny, which he returned. "A lot of things."

[nicetomeetmew]

If LU was an anime (VA headcanons)

Okay so! A while back I uploaded a video (which you can find here) giving the LU boys voice actors. And in the description of said video, I promised that I was going to post a list of explanations for my voices and link it. Which I am only doing now.

These choices, bar a few, are my own personal opinion, so I'd love to hear your thoughts about them! I spent far to long working and watching anime for this but I am pretty happy with the end result, bar one (glares at Four). So I hope you enjoy! And prepare yourself. Cause this is LONG.

Legend - Vic Mignoga (Edward Elric from Fullmetal Alchemist and Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood)

So fun fact. Back when I first discovered LU, I almost immediately imaged Leg with this voice. He had strong Ed vibes for me and when I started making this list, he was the only one I immediately knew was perfect. At least to me. It just has that quality; the snark with the capability of being genuine and emotional (I do apologise if the voice clips I included in the video made you sad. That's a hazard of FMA). I didn't consider anyone else for Legend, even though I did briefly consider Vic Mignoga for Warriors (more on that later).

Sky - Aleks Le (Zenitsu Agatsuma from Demon Slayer)

Man, I considered a fair few KnY voices for this list, including the voice of Tanjiro for Wild and the voice of Giyu for Twilight. But this is the one that stuck. I was struck between Sky having a youthful, soft voice or an older, soft voice (I knew his voice had to be soft. I mean. It's Sky.)

I watched the dub of Demon Slayer solely for this and it never would've occurred to me to consider Zenitsu's voice for Sky. But as the show progressed and I heard it when he wasn't... you know... begging some poor lass to marry him, I realised he actually has quite a soft voice. And when I heard it get all serious I thought "Yep. That works." And thus I placed Aleks Le as the Chosen Hero. You could argue that his voice is a bit too youthful for him but I still think it works.

Wind - Amanda Miller (Boruto from Boruto: Naruto Next Generations)

Ugh. Ugh. *increasing sounds of disgust*. I hate this.

But let's start from the beginning. Right off the bat, I was 99.9% sure Wind would be voiced by a woman. Okay so he's not 10 (that will make more sense in a second), but he's still pretty young and I imagine him with quite a youthful voice. For him, I considered Sarah Natochenny, the current voice of Ash Ketchum in Pokémon, and also Colleen Clickenbeard's voice for Monkey D. Luffy in One Piece. But these two voices shared the same problem. They were too raspy. I just cannot see Wind with a raspy voice. I guess if you really, really, really focus on it it could work but I just could get it to work for me hfff.

And then... ugh. I spoke to a mate about. He doesn't know about LU so I just told him I was making voice headcanons and couldn't think of a good one for a 14 year old boy. And he said "have you heard Boruto's English voice?" And I think my response was something along the lines of, "Ben, I have standards." But he insisted it would probably work so I watched a clip of Boruto on YouTube and much to my horror, it did seem to work. But there was problem. None of the clips had lines I could picture Wind saying. And because of that I was struggling to actually give Wind the voice. But something told me that it was the right one so... I... *shudders*... watched Boruto. I watched I think 5 full episodes before I had no more braincells and skipped thorough a bunch more and sure enough, I could finally see Wind with that voice. I think it fits him great and it honestly might be my favourite choice just because I had to watch that nightmare.

Hyrule - Justin Briner (Izuku Midoriya from My Hero Academia)

Ah. This one is much more pleasant. First of all, I never realised this at first but Midoriya and Hyrule are kind of similar. For one thing, they do kinda look alike. And for another they have the same "I will never give up" kinda thing going on.

Roolie is another one I knew would have a soft voice. I think Justin Briner was always down as a choice for him, except for when I briefly considered him for Four (more on that later *big sigh*). This is another anime I watched the dub for solely for this and there were a ton of lines right from the get go I could instantly imagine Roolie saying. So yeah. Aside from the tiny moment I almost assigned Justin Briner to Four, this was a pretty easy one. Midoriya has a soft voice that I could easily imagine Hyrule having. And when he got angry and his voice got harsher, I could also easily see Roolie like that too. Fun fact: there's another BNHA voice on this list... heh.

Wild - Michael Sinternklaas (Dagger from Black Butler)

AW YEAH. YOU HAVE BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH BRITISH BOI.

Ahem. Anyway. Yes Wild is British. Everyone rejoice. I was unsure of how people would react to this but I think this is the only voice on the list everyone agreed on. Which I'm happy about.

As I mentioned, I considered the English voice of Tanjiro (Zach Aguilar) for Wild. There were issues with this; mainly that it was too soft, too young, and made him sound too similar to Sky. Now here's the thing. I WANTED to give Wild a English accent. I am almost certain he would have one, like most people. However the only anime I could think of with decent English accents was Black Butler (and yes I know his final voice is from it, bear with me) and there was a problem with that. Most of the voices from Black Butler are ridiculously posh. Now you may be thinking "But Kai, Zelda has a posh English accent" and to that I would say "Ah yes but she's a princess and Wild is not". And now you might be thinking "But Kai, he's a knight an probably spent a lot of time in a place with posh English accents". To which I would say "But he wasn't always". Two words. Hateno Village.

Let me explain.

I feel like a lot of people hear the words 'English accent' and immediately think of an accent like Zelda's (and no, I am not saying everyone does and I'm also not implying that there aren't people out there who aren't British and know that there are multiple accents). Anyway, English accents are different depending on the place. And, since one can assume Wild is from Hateno Village, I would imagine their accent is different to that of those born in Castle Town. So that's why I was reluctant to give Wild a voice from Black Butler. Because all the voices that weren't insanely fancy were either far too old or did not have the right vibe.

Then one day, taking a break from this, I was watching season 3 of Black Butler (one of the only anime I watch dubbed) and I heard two voices that I suddenly thought, hang on just a second. One of those was the voice of Ronald Knox, who's a grim reaper. And the other, of course, was Dagger. I was leaning towards Dagger and what sold me was one scene in particular, which I chose as the final voice clip for Wild (you cannot tell me that is not exactly something he would say). And that was it. But Wild's was easily one of the most frustrating (not the most *glares at Four again*).

Time - David Matranga (The Father from Wolf Children)

Another tough one and also one I heavily considered for Twilight (for obvious reasons). Time's was kind of tricky because I knew I wanted it to be deep but there's such of variety of deep voices. At one point I even considered dumping the deep voice idea because it was so hard. It was a this time I thought of the voice of space cowboy extraordinaire, Spike Spiegel. But my brain said "hell no". There were other voices I considered for him, loads of which I cannot find the notes for and another one which will likely appear in part two as another character (no spoilers), but when I was picking a voice for Twi, some of the lines the father said just kept ringing big old Time vibes with me. So in the end, I decided to for it. Like I said, I imagine time with a deep voice and while to father's might be a bit more... gravelly (?) than I imagined, I think it fits him pretty well. It's serious and mature but still a certain kindness I'd imagine Time's voice to have.

Warriors - Johnny Yong Bosch (Ichigo Kurosaki from Bleach)

Don't lie. You knew Johnny Yong Bosch was gonna be on here and not just because I put his name (albeit spelled incorrectly) in the thumbnail. When I started making this, I knew I wanted to fit JYB into it. In my mind, LU would be an amazing anime and almost all amazing anime have Johnny Yong Bosch in it.

Now, I spent a lot of time trying to figure out whether he would be better for Wars or Twi. At one point I was convinced he would be best for Twi and that's when I briefly thought about Vic Mignoga for Warriors (his voice for Tamaki Suoh from Ouran High School Host Club. Don't tell me Tamaki and Wars aren't at least a tiny bit similar). But I could bear to part with Vic for Legend so I decided heck it, Johnny is Warriors and I'll find someone else for Twi later. As for the voice in particular, the two voices I considered for Twi definitely did not fit Wars. And then I remembered Bleach and immediately I thought "Yep. That's the one". I imagine Warriors having an authoritative voice, not too deep and very... uh... I don't know the right word. Clean sounding? Anyway, Ichigo just seemed to fit nicely and thus it was so.

Four - Micah Solusod (Yukine from Noragamai)

Ugh. UGH. Okay. This is my least favourite. Four was, excuse my French, A FUCKING NIGHTMARES. There was not ONE SINGLE VOICE that seemed to work for him at all. I watched a bit of the Noragmai dub because I was thinking about Yato's voice for someone (I can't remember who. It might have been Wild) and I heard Yukine's and decided to put it into reserve. As in, my last resort. And I had to use it. Oh my god Four. I love you but your voice is literally a nightmare. Is it high? Is it low? Is it young sounding? Surprisingly grown up sounding? I DON'T FREAKING KNOW.

I mentioned earlier that I considered Justin Briner for him. I was thinking about his voice for Luck from Black Clover, which may have honestly worked a bit better, but I was pretty attached to Justin as Roolie by this point. So I had to whip out Micah.

Let me be clear. No, I do not think this works well at all. I appreciate the people who tried to see that good in it, but I honestly just don't think it works. The only reason I went for it is because Yukine's voice switches between older sounding and younger sounding throughout the show and since I could decide what Four's would sound like I said to myself "Fine. Four can be the same", found some clips, slapped it together and never looked back.

I am still looking for another voice for Four and if I find a decent one, I will include it in part two.

And last but not least...

Twilight - Aaron Mitchell Dismuke (Tamaki Amajiki - My Hero Academia)

Told ya there was another BHNA voice.

So Twi was another tricky one. As I mentioned, I was seriously considering Johnny Yong Bosch for him. More specifically, his voices for Giyu Tomioka from Demon Slayer and Kiba from Wolf's Rain (for obvious reasons). I did almost go for Kiba but something was stopping me. I'm honestly not sure what.

So I was talking to a mate (and by that I mean I rambled. A lot) about VA's and at one point he suggested Aaron Mitchell Dismuke but not for Twilight. I can't actually remember who he suggested it for but anyway, that didn't work out. But when I was looking through his work, I saw that we played Amajiki and I was curious. I listened to him and I liked it.

Okay to be fair I wanted a country accent for Twi. Of course I did. But I could not a find a decent one. They few I found were absolutely terrible. So I gave up on that and decided that was Amajiki. And that was that.

And that concludes the Links VA headcanons! I am happy with most of them and once more these are my opinion but I would love to hear your own ideas!

As I have said many times, I am working on a part two and as a sneak peak (sort of) I'll tell you two of the characters that will be featured (excluding Four, if I find him another voice).

Dink (even though he hasn't, technically shown up yet) and Malon (which is proving to be a lot tricker than I thought). There a couple more but my lips are sealed heh.

Oh and speaking of Dink, the voice I considered for Time and then thought it would be better for someone else? Yeah that's the voice that's currently in the lead to be Dink's :)

I hope enjoyed my long winded explanations! And thank you for reading/watching!

[hyunrun]

Dream SMP/Batfam

This is my reasoning for connections between Dream SMP members and the Bats. This was all just for fun, but feel free to give feedback if you’d like! And do say if I’ve made a mistake. I haven’t done everyone, so if there’s anyone else you’d like me to do, lemme know! Please read, I spent a good while on this :D

Batman (Bruce Wayne)/Technoblade: Technoblade's Dream SMP origin story starts with his parents dying, so the backstory fits. He swears to kill all orphans because of the way they killed his parents (Similar to the way Bruce wanted to stop crime from running rampant in Gotham). Techno is also, technically, an orphan as Bruce was. I've always imagined Bruce's voice to be kinda like Techno's, especially that monotone tone he uses, and especially when he's Batman and not Bruce Wayne. Bruce Wayne is -Bat-man and Technoblade is a pig, need I elaborate? Both of them seem to stay up till ungodly times of the day, and I'm sure their sleep schedules are never on the same clock as anyone else's, Bruce's because of his vigilante lifestyle and Techno because... well, he's a Minecraft YouTuber. Both of them have a father figure, although not biological. They also have a friendly rivalry with a fellow content creator/hero (Cough Dream/Superman cough). We say Dick/Wilbur is dramatic, but you can't possibly mean to tell me Batman/Technoblade isn’t subtly more dramatic. They practically invented being dramatic in their respective businesses.

Alfred Pennyworth/Philza Minecraft: Is the father figure to Batman/Technoblade. Is really a force of chaos but everyone pictures them as a soft, loving dad because we all have parental issues and we need more father figures. Both of them are very badass in their own ways. Old and British. Here's a parallel I thought was pretty cool. Philza had been building up his hardcore world for 5 years before he died. It was like his home disappeared in front of his eyes as he fell away from his life. I'm not sure which continuity/arc this is from (Please do not hate on me, I am but a small child) bUT I do know that Alfred died of a heart attack/stroke at the same time the Wayne Manor was destroyed. His home was destroyed as he died. Just as Philza's had been.

Damian Wayne/TommyInnit: Is never really loved by anyone at first glance (From the fandoms). Tommy's the loud, annoying one, Damian's the grouchy, haughty one. But everyone eventually gravitates towards their characters later on. Their families were wary of them at first but grew to love them. Both of them are the youngest, and generally angriest child. Both are not American, Tommy being British and Damian, Arabic. They both have ICONIC mothers. MotherInnit is a queen, we all know this. If she can handle Tommy, she can handle absolutely anything. Talia Al Ghul has a reputation of her own right, and while she hasn't quite the pristine repertoire, she definitely strikes a strong mark on people. Now, this is a dumb connection between the two, but hair!! Tommy’s seems nice and floofy while Damian's is generally drawn spiky, and I think that's a cool contrast. Their love for pets is also important to note. Tommy's the one that's known for starting wars over the deaths of his pets, and it's easy to know that Damian wouldn't hesitate to hurt someone if they did anything to Titus or Batcow. It’s been shown on multiple occasions that he loves his pets a lot.

Jon Kent/Tubbo_: Best friends with Tommy/Damian. Do not try to argue that Jon and Damian aren't best friends because come onnn. And PLEASE do not take this as a dumb excuse to ship Tommy and Tubbo, as I know people ship Dami and Jon. Both are the embodiment of chaos wrapped in kindness, and both are definitely the more stable of their friendship with the other gremlin children. I am confident that both would probably refer to their parents as mother and father dearest. You cannot convince me otherwise. Tubbo has already done so, and Jon would never disrespect his parents, so this would obviously be the next best alternative for when he is upset by them. Jon’s powers fluctuate upon shifts in emotion and he can’t really control his powers, like the shifting of Tubbo’s alter egos. We never know when Toob or Big Law will creep out of the shadows.

Dick Grayson/Wilbur Soot: (Second) most dramatic in the family, though perceived as the drama queen because of their boisterous personalities. The one that was probably a theatre kid in school. The lighthearted one that keeps everyone cheerful, but also the one with the easiest path to a horrid descent into madness. They have a flair for drama, the glitter and sparkles to Batman/Technoblade’s sombre smoke and haze, which is why they work together so well. The closest family member to Tommy/Damian. Their little brother/big brother dynamics are just impeccable. Both are the most simped for by their respective fanbases (from what I’ve seen). The token pretty boys. Both artistically talented in different ways, with Wilbur’s music and Dick’s acrobatic skills. Also the ones that get constantly shipped with every woman they literally even look at. They also express their dramatic tendencies through their clothes, Dick with his jazzy Discowing suit and Wilbur’s dramatic L’manburg outfit.

Superman/Dream: The OP gods, need I say more? Friendly rivals with Technoblade/Batman. Very often perceived as ‘Perfect’ which they are not, but many refuse to accept that. A funny parallel I drew was the fact that both of them are famous in their own rights, but can just walk around and not get recognised despite millions of people knowing their online/superhero identities. Both are technically not human.

Stephanie (Batgirl/Spoiler)/Sapnap: Both of their names start with S! Not my only reasoning, but I’ll take it into account anyway. Both are basic looking in my head (Blue eyes blonde hair for Steph?? There’s at least 3 other girls that look EXACTLY like her in the nearby DC universes. And Sapnap blends in with every other white boy, though I love him regardless.) but both also have immaculate personalities to make up for it. They’re the most normal people out of all their co-streamers/superheroes in my eyes, also my favourites. (I didn’t realise as I put them together that I loved them most but here we are). They’re both great at dumb banter. They don’t have huge, hilarious bits often or any constant jokes that are pulled on time and time again, but their general atmosphere makes everything seem like a joke. They may not be the best at what they do in their friend groups but are actually really good nonetheless and do not get due credit for their effort and talent sometimes. Has a warring relationship with Damian/Tommy (Sapnap over the pets and Steph and Dami didn’t have the most friendly relationship at the start)

Jason/BBH- Same but opposite but same. Exists to cause chaos. I wouldn’t have associated these two with each other till the Badlands became a thing… but then the Badlands became a thing and I had to. Now, I know that technically Bad doesn’t have a grudge against Techno, but Jason would totally set up a whole empire just to mess with Bruce’s plans, just to get in the way, to instigate, to fan the flames of the fire till he’s driven Bruce to his breaking point. Bad isn’t exactly trying to do that, but he’s only around for the chaos. He’s only here for his own benefit, and he’s only here for that because of the hurt caused to him by the nation he came from. A parallel being Jason causing havoc because of the pain Bruce caused him. Besides, both have a cool red and black colour scheme, and both wear jacket!! Both are also technically not alive (If we're considering BBH as a demon).

Roy Harper/Skeppy: I have absolutely no explanation for this, but it just Fits. Besides, they have cool opposing colour schemes and are best friends with BBH/Jason!!

Aaaand last but not least

Jason/Technoblade: Now you must be thinking But Kaly you already spoke about them! And yes, I did, and they do go really well with their respective characters but I couldn’t simply ignore the connection between these two, so I thought I might as well write about it. Technoblade was an English major (If I remember correctly) before he dropped out to pursue his youtube career. Jason, though this may not be a well-known fact, was a definite literature nerd at school before he met his demise. Their cut off education in English is an interesting parallel to me. Both of them also have destructive tendencies, with Technoblade being an anarchist and Jason periodically running an underground empire to make sure he can do whatever the hell he wants to. They don’t generally care who they hurt on their way to reach their end goal. Jason’s reckless shooting and killing clearly shows this, as he continuously justifies his actions by saying he’s ending crime rather than just making it wait in line for its turn to pop up again, while Technoblade’s release of the withers and excessive use of his firework crossbow clearly shows that the deaths of the residents of L’manburg do not matter to him as long as he abolishes the government.

[yaanaayaa]

Hi. I'm Naya. I'm a 05L and I'm from Indonesia. I was wondering if any of you have like a group or a community where you share your poems. I like to write, but I really don't know the technicalities and the theories of writing. I just write freely. Sometimes--often, really--I'm not confident about my writing, I often ask myself "can this even be considered a poem?". Even though I'm from Indonesia, I enjoy writing in English more.

So I don't know if this will reach anyone but I would really love to join a community that knows poetry and can give me honest feedbacks. Oh also, I write for fun and don't really have any intention of making an occupation out of it. But who knows? ;)

The image above is one of my writing. I wrote it the day after I went on a reunion with friends from an old school and seeing my best friend crying because she was uncomfortable with one of our male friends--who happen to be my kinda ex--'s treatment towards her. He intentionally stood beside her when we were taking a group picture and she was clearly uncomfortable. He also asked not only one, but also multiple pictures with her and they took the picture in front of me. I don't know if she's crying because it's been years and she's felt so helpless and powerless around that guy or because she felt guilty that my ex is more interested in her than me. But regardless that guy knows what he's doing and I honestly can't understand why won't he leave the poor girl alone. I also couldn't help her because honestly I'm still struggling with my own bad experiences with him. Thank God our other friend--who DESPISE men--is there to protect her. I still feel guilty, though. That's why I accompanied her everywhere because that was the least I could do.

I have this habit, words and scenarios naturally just flows in my head. It just does. Even when I just woke up, in the middle of a class, or when I'm about to go to sleep. Movies can be really triggering I had to pause and daydream for a while. Songs are somewhat triggering too. BUT THE POINT IS (forgive me for running off topic) I had the words flowing in my head when I was riding my motorcycle home from that reunion. The words felt so intense and clear I just had to write it down the next day and that poem (?) happened.

[theastrophilearchitect]

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...

Writing journey #4.

15/05/2021 07.22 My break has officially been over for five days, and i have done some writing, but it’s been incredibly inconsistent, so I decided to start this blog post over. Bay Tree has been archived, and though FSB isn’t done, I’ve realised I need to take a step back. It’s why writers leave weeks at a time between drafts--so when they return, they’re in a different mindset, and can improve their work.

For this same reason, I need to take a step back before I finish my outline. My thought process is becoming monotonous, which means I’m losing my excitement. When you start a project, you have the idea in your head as perfect, and when those ‘vibes’ become tangible, it is less exciting. That’s unavoidable. But I just need to take a step back, so when I return, I have fresh ideas, and the plot becomes more exciting to me.

So today, I’m going to start brainstorming a new idea I had, which I don’t have an alias for yet, and I have an idea to essentially bind every project I have together, but not in Grishaverse- or Shadowhunters-style where you need to read ten books just to read the one you want. Just a nod to anyone who does read multiple, like when Aelin falls through worlds and sees Rhys and Feyre for a split second.

So. Let’s brainstorm.

My plan, I think, is to alternate weekly. This week, I’ll work on the new one, next week I’ll do FSB. I could just take this new idea and apply it to FSB, except I just don’t see how that would work. I have different worlds in mind, and this new one is a fantasy where FSB is sci-fi(/fantasy. It’s kinda both).

16/05/2021 07.07 I really wish I was a pantser. Even though I haven’t got to the editing stage, my favourite part of writing is implementing new ideas and making changes, but I’m just not a pantser. I need to know where each part is going. Instead, I have to sit here, brainstorming, for days, to figure everything out.

18/05/2021 07.06 I did a lot of work on the 16th, but I was busy yesterday, and didn’t get any writing done, because, when I was free, I was just reading. So, I’ve decided I’m going to at least write before I leave the house, which gives me about 45 minutes this morning. 

23/05/2021 18.30 Based on the fact it has been five days, I think you can tell how good I’ve been about keeping writing. The problem is that I don’t actually have much past a concept for my new project, so I’m trying to figure out how, precisely, I could merge the two projects. FSB is interesting, but doesn’t have a huge amount of depth, which adding the characters from the new project would absolutely do, while the new project is lacking plot, which FSB (at least the first book I’ve planned) does. So, I’m going to start a new Scrivener project, and consider how I can merge the two concepts while implementing both plots.

Is it too much? I have only two main characters in FSB, but five in the newer one, which gives me seven main characters, divided into three groups. And do I want to write a book with so many separate storylines? I know readers (myself included) always end up favouring one storyline over another, getting annoyed when certain POVs come up. I don’t know what to do.

I could keep the new project, but implement FSB? Hold up. New Project (NP) has two protagonists who could undergo a similar development to the protagonists of FSB... I had a plan for the male protagonist of FSB, his arc, which wouldn’t work for NP’s male protagonist, but would work perfectly for its female protagonist...

Tumblr’s glitching. It wouldn’t let me reblog a post earlier, and now it won’t let me save this draft. Please, no.

Okay, so I had to copy what I’d written for today, disconnect and reconnect to the Wi-Fi, then wait for my drafts to load to paste it. Going great!

21.00 So I didn’t get a huge amount done, because I caught up doing ~evening things~, but I at least have a plan going forward, which is an accomplishment

30/05/2021 09.29 I’ve spent the last couple weeks doing everything I can to avoid writing, but i now have an insane amount of free time, so I have no excuse. I want to use this time in a productive way, and, for me, that means writing.

03/06/2021 10.31 I swear to god, I’ve had ‘writing’ on my to-do list every single day, except not doing it is probably my own fault, because it’s been so far down on the list. Also, I’m doing a buddy read, but am also unfortunately descending into a reading slump, so even reading 50 pages takes me about 90 minutes--they’re not even long pages.

I actually went back onto my old Wattpad account earlier, where I found a load of old, unfinished stuff, but none of it was as bad as I thought it would be, and the ideas weren’t bad. I just really have no idea what it is I’m writing right now, and I hate trying to figure it out.

11.30 There are so many Ss in the word ‘assassin’ this is not okay.

This is actually going so well. I have two storylines in my head, a complex cast of characters, and I’m so looking forward to plotting this.

04/06/2021 08.04 Look at me, two days in a row. Anyways, I’m thinking I ought to name these characters ASAP, because it’ll be easier to shape them to their names than it will be to find a name which fits them once they’ve been shaped.

14.41 Here’s what I’m realising: I like to pants plots, but I can’t do that while I’m actually drafting, so I think my plan is actually to bullet point everything that happens, then revise that, then start drafting, so the story is basically set in the first draft.

I’ve actually gone through a lot of stuff--I have workable plot material!

17.16 So, me being me, I’ve semi-outlined (I say semi-, it’s more like a tenth) a trilogy, meaning I have ideas for three books following this storyline, and it... makes sense. It’s the kind of story where I can follow multiple arcs, a few at a time, instead of several overarching ones, or maybe it’s just that I’m letting myself.

07/06/2021 16.44 I don’t have a damn clue what I’ve spent the day doing. I haven’t done anything in a couple days because it was the weekend and I was busy, but I’m back now. The thing is, I haven’t spent the day reading, watching, drawing, or doing anything, really--it’s escaped me. But, at the very least, I’ve relaxed, so who cares?

I’m not applying story structure to the ideas I’m having quite yet--rather, I’m just developing them to see how they bloom on their own, then I’ll fit it in; it just seems like a more natural and effective way to develop.

Yeah, no. It’s too late in the day for this. I have zero motivation.

08/06/2021 09.49 Maybe I’ll accomplish something today; who knows? Certainly not me.

I’m now applying the 3-act structure, but I’m realising I have way too many details worked out for this--switching to more acts.

22.20 Why am I doing this to myself? I wish I could say I’m not entirely sure, but it’s because I can’t sleep, because this project, and my character Lihan, are the only things I can think about, so here I am. I don’t want to be a night writer, but que sera sera (I wish I could type accents on an English keyboard).

23.22 I accomplished more in the last hour on this project than I have in the last four days.

09/06/2021 - 1,115 words 09.29 I really hope I don’t prove today that night-writing is my sweet spot--I don’t want it to be. Can the world just let me have a functional sleep schedule??

Anyways, so, as I’ve mentioned before, I use Scrivener, which enables me to sort which documents are part of the manuscript from the ones that aren’t. I’ve been working outside of the manuscript, but I think I’m going to move them into it--I have a plan I believe will be more effective for my own drafting. I think I very much need the events to be set in stone before I begin writing in actual prose, so how can I do that? Especially when I also enjoy pantsing, but not in prose?

Here’s the plan: I plot out the main events, then bullet point everything in very high detail, similar to what many people call a zero draft, in which they draft a book in short form. I’ll sort the bullet points into chapters (but not scenes, because as I discovered with Bay Tree, I find scene-blocking makes the narrative less natural), leave it alone a while, then revise, so I can have my plot more-or-less set in stone before I work on prose.

As a result, I’m going to shift my plotting into the manuscript section, because it is, essentially, an early draft, and also I want a word count as a progress metre.

13/06/2021 - 1,611 words 8.18 Alas, I have been busy the last few days, but I’m here now.

9.20 The amount of secrets and who-knows-what in this story is genuinely absurd, but I’m sure I’ll clean it up eventually.

14.01 A few days ago, I came across a post about balancing large casts, which is exactly what I have, and the first thing it mentioned was the two-trait rule, in which every character has two traits completely unique to them, to help both reader and writer differentiate. Which I’m now going to implement.

14.42 I have these two characters, and I know exactly what I want their dynamic to be, except I can’t decide who should be which part of it.

I have made my decision. It probably works better now, but it does alter their roles, so I need to fix that.

I literally swapped them round solely because I decided one was taller than the other and thought it would be more interesting if the short one was the sadist. Why do I make my own life so difficult?

14/06/2021 - 1,574 words 11.08 I didn’t make an enormous amount of progress yesterday, but I did make some, and made notes of ideas for relationship arcs last night, so I count that a victory (forced optimism--surprisingly effective). I’m currently just working through bullet-pointing book one, while making notes of events I want in the rest of the series (I’m projecting three books, and telling myself I will finish them). I’m currently fiddling with one of my storylines to see how I can mould it to FSB’s and OH MY GOODNESS I JUST HAD A GREAT IDEA must take notes, one moment pleaseeee.

Okay, so I have four bullet points for relationship arcs and an idea to adjust one of the storylines--I’d say I have six main characters, two of whom are really the protagonists, two of which are my favourites, and the other two are fun, but in need of development. They’re split into a group of four and a pair, and I’m definitely more into the storyline of the four, mostly because the four contains my two favourites, and it’s more developed than that of the pair.

I’ve been keeping a list of things to add: motivations, loose plot threads, plot points I want to include--I really need to re-organise it.

On another note, I am so glad I named the characters as early as I did. I’m debating having two of the characters swap names, but I don’t think I will, because I will absolutely mix them up, and one of them is part of the perfect ship name.

My mouse isn’t working. I changed the batteries, but it’s not working, so now I get the joy of trying to figure out if the batteries I put in are just old or if the mouse no longer works, which would suck.

Yes, I’m going to describe this. Mostly because when I changed the batteries the first time, it took a minute to stop working, and this will waste a minute. So, first set of batteries, which we’ll call set 1, don’t work. I don’t know if it’s both or just one, but if it’s one, I don’t want to throw away both. I take out set 1, I put in set 2. Set 2 works perfectly. So it’s not the mouse. Now I take out battery 2B, and replace it with 1A, so I have 1A and 2A in here. I know 2A works, but I’m not sure about 1A, but the mouse works, so 1A is fine. Let’s replace 1A with 1B.

Yep. 1B is the problem child. 1A works fine, but 1B doesn’t. Lovely. Crisis averted. It would’ve really sucked it I had to get a new mouse. And back to writing!

12.13 I’m bouncing between documents as I organise, which means my word count is actually decreasing, so I feel like I’m making significantly less progress than I am.

I just realised my two protagonists are cousins. I’ve had it in my head that one’s father was the brother of the other’s father, but somehow I didn’t realise that makes them cousins.

I’m about to delete a list because I’ve reformatted it--my word count is currently at 1,958, but is really about to drop.

AND NOW WE’RE AT 1,572. My session word count is -32. Minus thirty-two. I hate it here, but it’s fine, because we’re ~developing~.

15/06/2021 - 2,113 words 09.39 It’s not even technically summer yet, but it’s too hot, and I hate it here. All the windows are open, so everything’s cool, there’s a nice breeze, and lots of light, but the birds are so loud, and I have to keep all the doors closed because the open windows send them swaying and slamming. You know when you close a door when all the windows are open and it slams? Yep. Not into it. 

I feel like every day I try a new way to organise my plotting. I’m unsure as to whether that’s helping me or holding me back, because it forces me to review what I have, which usually sparks new ideas, but I’m not convinced I’ll ever get to the end as long as I keep doing this.

21/06/2021 13.40 I spent the latter half of last week with zero motivation, then I was busy at the weekend, but I’m here now. I’ve been trying to make myself write basically all day--I have a plan, and a list of things I’ve come up with the last few days, but I just couldn’t make myself do it. I’m not in a good mood, but maybe this will help.

I have, however, just reminded myself that I need to prepare this week’s post, because I sincerely doubt either this or my ongoing Recent reads will be ready for Friday. Actually, if I do quite a bit of writing this week, this post might be, but I’m not willing to bet on it.

And oh, crap, now I just want to write a blog post.

No. No I don’t. I started looking at the list of ideas I had, and now I’m just not feeling it. I’m pretty sure when I open my document for this project I’ll lose all motivation too, but it’s worth a shot.

There’s a specific relationship in an anime I recently watched that I want to pull apart--there’s this ship, and the author of the manga has called the two characters ‘soulmates’. There’s just this huge amount of tension between the two, and I want to re-watch the show because I love it, but also so I can take notes to figure out what was so effective about it.

13.53 I’ve been doing this for 13 minutes, but I do think I need to leave this project/outline alone for a bit, give it an opportunity to ruminate, to evolve. In truth, I may not even come back to it until I’ve re-watched the anime I was talking about so I can tear that ship to pieces.

17.33 So I just learned brainstorming is apparently significantly easier on paper. Hm. I’ve just worked out so damn much, stuff I’ve been struggling with.

18.00 I have successfully tied up so many plot threads, simply by working with pen and paper. This is revolutionary. (I know, not really, but it is for me, someone adamant about working with a keyboard and monitor)

22/06/2021 09.42 Seriously, why did I never try actually working on paper before? Something about holding a pen to paper and scribbling and drawing a mindmap--it just works. I’ve been obstinate about avoiding working on paper because I hate physically writing, yet here we are.

25/06/2021 11.09 I’m really not managing much reading at the moment--since I started reading manga, my attention span has just gone down the drain. I’m currently reading Mister Impossible by Maggie Stiefvater, and I don’t think it helped that I had to stop less than a third of the way in to do a buddy read, but I just don’t have much motivation to read it, though I do so want to. I haven’t been listening much to audiobooks lately either, because when I’d usually listen--when I’m getting dressed, waking up, going to bed etc.--I just want to listen to music, because I also recently fell down the well of k-pop, and the group whose discography I’m getting to know at the moment is BTS. Basic, but they’re the fifth group I’m doing, and they have so many songs. Which would happen after eight years, but still.

I want to read so, so badly, but I just don’t feel like reading Mister Impossible. But I do want to finish it before reading anything else. I think I’ll finish my current audiobook, then if I’m still feeling stagnated in Mister Impossible, I’ll switch to the audiobook of that, then just take a break from reading until I’m ready to actually read. 

But this post is for writing, not reading. I did write on the 23rd, but I just didn’t update this post. The 24th I was busy, but my wall is now covered in post-it notes of world-building, characters, gods, plot points, and a whole load of other stuff.

Also, I had an idea for a book title this morning--not for this one, just in general--and when I went to add it to my list, I found a title that would so suit this project. I don’t want to say it, but let’s just say this project will be called ItLotG--or not. That’s a hideous combination of letters. I promise it is actually a good title.

11.52 I’m having another crisis over these two characters. I’m thinking it would make more sense to have L’s betrayal ‘arc’ initiated before the catalyst, or rather have it be the catalyst, except the problem there is that they’re not in the city they need to be in to receive that offer.

UNLESS,,,, what if this point happens just while they’re in the capital.... I’ve got it. 

17.16 I’ve been taking notes this whole time of everything I want to happen in books 2 and 3, and I have so much now i think they’ll be so much easier to plot than this one.

The downside of working mostly on paper is that my plans on Scrivener have been refined to one document, which is now only 878 words.

Right now, there’s a glaring hole between the midpoint and the ending, but my climax is one of those where the climax itself is a very small part of a bigger event, so if I figure out what I want to happen in this big event which is essentially the whole of the third act, I should be able to fill in the rest of Act Two with the setup for that.

So I’m leaving it there for both today and this post. In the last month or so, I decided to start over and mash two projects together, which created a whole new storyline I love, and now I’m mostly done with the first outline. I want to treat outlines as more than just preparation for drafts, because I find notes so much easier to edit than actual prose, and I hate writing without a clear idea of where I’m going. 

I think I’m going to call these ‘runs’--an outline is a run through, a draft a run through, so I’m nearly done with my first run, and I’m very proud of that, so go, go write the idea you have, drink some water, take a nap if you need one, eat if you haven’t eaten in a few hours, and I’ll be back with another writing update innnnnnn probably august, honestly.

Go write that idea!

[shy-marker-pliers]

High school AU thingamabob

Dark

17 year old senior

class president and is kinda high and mighty about it tbh

“yes i know student council can’t really make any changes without the input of the superintendent but IM THE PRESIDENT AND YOU’RE NOT SO SUCK MY DI-“

does sound/lights for all the shows the school puts on

dating wilford and no one knows how or why they’re together

had a deep as hell voice and a beard the second he hit puberty

takes every ethics/psychology class he can

wants to be a lawyer

that one kid that everyone fears but is actually kinda chill if not a little surly

wears a collared shirt and tie to school every day and would totally get made fun of for it if he wasn’t terrifying

listens to classical music unironically

“oh my god i’m so going to fail this test” *proceeds to get the highest grade in the class*

protector of the gays™️

person: *says something mean to a student because they’re lgbtq+*

Dark: *teleports in front of said student* omae wa mou shindeiru

Wilford

19 year old senior

Yes he still has the mustache

doesn’t give a fuck about what anyone thinks of him

deadass wore a dress to school after one of his friends got made fun of because she wore a suit to a school dance

b u f f a s h e l l

could bench press a teacher if he really tried

on the cheer team

“no i’m not wearing pants, this miniskirt makes my ass look great!”

everyone’s bodyguard

usually attracts a crowd of nervous underclassmen

has mild dyslexia

tol

gives his friends piggyback rides

president of the drama club

works hard enough in school to pass his classes but that’s pretty much it

sleeps in class

Bim

15 year old freshman

vice president of the drama club

wilfords shadow

first freshman to help run the drama club and shoves it in everyone’s face

shouts his gayness from the rooftops

secretly super insecure

loves plants and helps out in the schools greenhouse

named all of the plants but if you tell anyone he’ll stab you

gets mostly B’s and C’s

has mild ocd but not enough to affect him severely

talks like a game show host cause he thinks it makes him sound attractive

it doesn’t

Google(s)

16 year old juniors

identical quadruplets

they have to wear different colors every day or else no one knows which one is which

they’re called the googles because their backpacks match the colors of the chrome logo and they’re super smart

straight A 4.0 GPA students but Oliver has to try a little harder than his brothers

all of them are in the robotics team except for ollie

Blue works on programming and red and green are on the build team

Ollie is the sweetest day of sunshine to ever exist and everyone loves him

he’s basically adopted Eric as his lil bro

tutors people in the library every tuesday and thursday

the other googles disapprove of his relationship with bing but he makes ollie happy so they don’t do anything about it

they all work in a supermarket and they’re saving up for college

ollie wants to be a vet, red and green want to be engineers, and blue wants to be a web developer

Bing

17 year old junior

mostly A’s, a few B’s.

his full name is zachary bing but people call him bing because he’s always trying to one up the googles

dudebro

was pining after ollie for months before chase finally felt sorry for him and told ollie how he felt

they’re dating now and it’s adorable

so soft for his boyf

a really good skater and wins a lot of local competitions

doesn’t study but still gets p good grades

wears sunglasses all the time because he has light sensitivity

Has ADHD

s t r o n k

always challenges people to arm wrestle him

can sing really well and plays gitaur

shares a youtube channel with chase where they skate and to challenges and stuff

Dr. ipiler

18 year old senior

Everyone calls him doc because he helps the school nurse and takes every single biology and health class there is

all A’s

really wants to be a surgeon

best friends with Schneep

huge star trek/harry potter nerd (ravenclaw if you’re wondering)

almost always at schneep’s house studying or just chillin’

kind of a control freak

thinks he’s charismatic but he’s actually kinda annoying

but annoying in a funny way

has a pet ferret that he sneaks into school

feral

espresso and sugar flows through his veins

“i actually got a good sleep last night.” “oh really?” “yeah bro i got a whole half hour!”

super dark bags under his eyes

Host

17 year old junior

all A’s except for in gym class

he has eyes in this

his real name is Simon Charles Teller (there are specific meanings to those names btw look them up) but he’s called The Host because he does morning announcements every day.

has gold eyes and a lot of people find it unnerving

“hey i have a podcast you should totally listen to it”

nocturnal

spends all of his free time in the library

always reading in class but the teachers don’t really care bc his grades are good and he does his homework

wants to be an english/poetry teacher

crushing on the cute shy kid from his english class

doesn’t talk much but he’ll still be nice to you

that one kid who’s always correcting the teachers

Runs the D&D club (he’s the dungeon master)

Eric Derekson

16 year old junior

Mostly high B’s, a couple of A’s.

lives with his uncle mark after he ran away from his abusive dad and is living a happy life

the guy that always volunteers to take care of the class pets over the weekend

animals love him

has anxiety, mild paranoia and autism.

animals, harry potter, and pokémon are his hyperfixations.

he also really likes gardening

crushing big time on hostioli

spends his entire english class staring at him and blushing

is seriously considering joining D&D club just to be able to talk to him

he’s in the art club

wants to be a vet and maybe do some freelance art stuff on the side

Ollie keeps yelling at him to just ask host out already but he’s too nervous

my poor bb boi

Wears sweaters all the time

wears headphones to block out noise if it ever gets too loud at he goes into sensory overload

disaster bi

Yan

18 year old senior

gets C’s

non-binary

has a makeup tutorial channel on youtube and has a pretty decent following

That one weeb

dyes their hair a new color every week

also has a new crush every week

everyone knows who their newest victim is because they never stop watching them

draws anime or cute animals for every art class

wants to be a a fashion designer

does MMA

everyone kinda stears clear of them

writes their first initial along with their crush’s on every notebook they own

has gotten suspended for beating kids up on multiple occasions

doesn’t really have that many friends but they don’t mind

spends their lunches watching their crush

in the drama club and the art club

Randall Voorhees

18 year old senior

C’s and D’s

Eric’s cousin/bodyguard

they have a lot of the same classes and walk everywhere together

loves animals and has like 10 pet rats

he doesn’t really care about his grades because he knows that he wants to be a woodworker/construction guy

makes little houses out of scrap wood for his rats and Eric thinks it’s adorable

always sneaks his rats to school and lets them have play dates with dr. iplier’s ferret

“nO IM NOT RELATED TO JASON VOORHEES HES NOT EVEN REAL SO SHUT THE HELL UP-“

used to live in nyc in queens and still has a pretty strong accent

completely incomprehensible when he’s excited or angry bc of the accent

everyone is jealous of his hair

spends like 100 dollars on shampoo and conditioner and stuff but it’s worth it

acts like the straightest guy in existence but could not be more gay

his boots are always muddy

Yancy

16 year old sophomore

his name is Yancy Bird

g...get it? like jailbird? ahaha...ok i’ll stop

permanent resident of the detention room

but he gets to just chill out and read for an hour so he doesn’t really mind

mostly gets detention for beating up kids that bully others

fuck the system

always wears a leather jacket and blue jeans

“hey, the 50’s called and they want their-“ SMACK. “shut up.”

takes a lot of criminal justice and psychology classes ironically

in the botany club but if you tell anyone they’ll never find your body

everyone is surprised when they find out he’s friends with Eric and ollie

pan but in denial

“i’m not gay guys, that ain’t me, i’m just comfortable with my sexuality. so i can admit when i see a guy with a handsome face and pretty eyes-“

that song is great btw you should listen to it

anyway

always makes really dark jokes and everyone is like “are you ok?”

except for his friends they just laugh

“lmao wouldn’t it be funny if everyone like...died”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #306

i’m v talkative today so pardon my jabbering below.

What is the strangest type of candy you have eaten? I think I've had one of those lollipops with a bug in it before as a kid? I don't remember. What would be your most ideal profession? A freelance photographer. But I'm honestly starting to lose hope. Have you tried those coloring books for adults? Yeah; it's funny you mention 'em, 'cuz a family friend got me one for my birthday earlier this month. What is a topic you definitely don't want to talk about with anyone? I don't like talking about my sexual history, doesn't matter who you are. It's just uncomfortable. What was your first gaming console? An Atari. Is there something you're eagerly waiting for? What is it? *SLAMS FISTS ON TABLE* MAY NEEDS TO FUCKIN' HURRY. My tattoo appointment is set then. :''') Do you/have you ever belonged to an organization? If so, which one? I was a Girl Scout when I was young. What is something you're very passionate about? Nature conservation, gay rights (equal rights in general, really), the pro-choice movement, and then there are less "important" things like certain hobbies interests and such. I'm sure there are more big ones that are just slipping my mind right now, considering I feel passionately for a shitload of stuff. What are you studying or what was the last thing you studied? I majored in Art & Design with a focus on Photography in college. But guess who dropped out. What was the last present you gave someone? I don't know... I mention enough that I don't have a source of income where I can really buy anything. I think the last thing I did was a Christmas gift for Mom a year or two back of a drawing I did of our late dog Cali, whom she absolutely adored. Do you enjoy plays? If so, what was the latest one you saw? Not really, no. What was the last thing you achieved? PHP has helped me focus on little victories, so prepare for an underwhelming answer haha, but it's something. I Facebook messaged an old friend I really wanted to catch up with, and everyone in group cheered for me. :') It was really heartwarming. What a shocker that this program is really helping me once again. What is something you would like to achieve at some point in your life? I would love love love to take at least one "famous" or award-winning photograph. It'd be such amazing validation that I'm talented at something I love so much. What is one philosophy you have regarding life/living/purpose? That's... difficult to answer seeing as I'm trying desperately to find my purpose. I do try to live by this old quote a therapist said once: "Deal with life, or life deals with you." I think it holds an incredible amount of depth and meaning in such a short phrase. How would you design the inside of your own home? I don't know the details of it, really, besides that shit is gonna look like a Halloween house year-round. I can imagine wanting black furniture, too, and having loooots of decor expressive of what I love and find comfort in. Gotta make a house feel like a home just for me. What is a band you remember liking from your childhood? Backstreet Boys, duh. Do you ever get mad at people for not having the same opinion as you (i.e. abortion being wrong/right, meat-eating being wrong/right)? Two things: it depends on the topic, and "get mad" is the wrong term for what I feel. It's more disgust; ex., I'm repulsed by anti-gay rights people and want absolutely nothing to do with 'em, but I'm not like, mad at them. Do you edit any of your pictures? In what ways? Oh yeah, and it definitely depends on the raw photograph. I edit depending on the mood it emanates; like if you've seen my roadkill photography versus nature shots, there is an extremely distinct difference in editing style and vibe. I'd say in general though, I tend to like to brighten my photographs and add more vibrance. If you like to take pictures, what is your motivation? God, I could write an essay on this. I just love and am so thankful for the fact we can literally freeze time forever with the click of a button and look back on fantastic sights, beautiful moments, memories... It's just magical to me, and I adore contributing to that art. Would you ever consider living anywhere cold? Well yeah, that's my preference, actually. What is your absolute favorite food? The spicy shrimp fritas from Olive Garden, jfc. Would you ever wear snake-skin pants, or other animal clothing? Fuck to the absolute hell no. What foreign country would you like to go to for a shopping spree? Idk, considering I'm not well-versed in the artistic creations of other countries. Perhaps India? Japan? I dunno. If you met your favorite musician, what would you ask him/her? I'm asking for his fucking autograph and a hug while I smile my face in two AND cry lmao. What do you spend most of your day thinking about? I ain't gonna bullshit nobody, my PTSD. In some way or another, he's lurking in that head of mine through memories, flashbacks, wonders of what could have gone differently... but thank God it's no longer in the forefront of my mind after my first PHP. I've come very, very far, but especially when trying to blank out my mind to fall asleep, parts of PTSD strangle my brain until I'm just finally out. I really hope that changes someday. Where is a busy place you would like to go to? Yikes, nowhere, really. I like to avoid busy locations. Do you think video games cause people to become violent? Absolutely not. You are responsible for the decisions you make; music, games, movies, etc. have no deciding voice in stupid shit you do, and it's bullshit that people blame art and entertainment for such things. Vocabulary: What was the last word you learned? I'm unsure. Have you or could you build your own site? Absolutely not from scratch. The closest I've gotten to that is my photography website, but it was through the assistance of Wix. What's the best thing you can cook yourself? Scrambled eggs, haha. I do make some bomb eggs at least. Are there a lot of graffiti around your neighborhood? No. Do you have a hobby that forces you out of the house? If so, what is it? Nature photography. Would you stop eating meat, if you had to raise and slaughter it yourself? Absolutely. God, I want to go vegetarian again... Besides English, what other languages can you speak? I can speak a very little bit of German. Took four semesters of it in high school and became very good at it, but lack of practice has pretty much ruined that. Besides English, what other languages can you read? I can read German well; as in, I can pronounce most words I see, but that doesn't mean I understand what is written. Do you think you could make it as a chef? Gordon Ramsey would deadass kick me off his show on day one, lmao. What's your favorite kind of tea? It marvels me JUST how many tea and coffee questions are in surveys. Anyway, I don't like tea. I am an embarrassment to NC culture. What thing/person/happening has made you the happiest you've been? lask;dfjal;wekrjwe What's the most freeing thing you've ever done? Stealing my happiness back from someone who had no right to hold it all in its entirety. That shit's mine. Do you think today's kids are really impatient? Most, probably, but in some ways I can understand it - at least, in the sense that with the assistance of modern technology and advancements in satiating our wants so quickly, kids just expect it. I definitely believe that patience is something to try to be deeply instilled in everyone, though. I don't have an ounce of it (in most situations) and wish I did. Have you ever tasted birch sap? No. How about the young buds/shoots of spruce trees? No. Which edible flowers have you tasted? One of my favorite Southern experiences is finding a bunch of honeysuckles and tasting the honey (is it technically even honey??). Tastes amazing. My family's hairdresser lives down a beautiful path that sprouts a massive amount of them, and as kids, my sisters and her two boys would go tasting them while our parents talked for so long, or if we were waiting our turn. Good memories. What has been your worst restaurant experience? I'm not sure, really. What's the most immature, adolescent thing that still makes you laugh? "Inappropriate humor type jokes." <<<< They can get me sometimes, too. Have you ever had a life-threatening condition? If so, what was it? No, thankfully. Have you ever had a custom print done on a shirt? If so, what was it? I don't believe so, no. Besides making a tye-dye one in HS with our school colors. Wasn't my idea and never wore it, haha. Do you ever read other people's survey answers? It depends on the person. If it's a friend, absolutely, because I love learning usually obscure things about them I wouldn't have known otherwise. If it's a user I don't know from wherever I got the survey, sometimes, depending on how short the answer is and my eyes kinda just scroll over it. Do you like daytime or night time better? Why? Daytime, especially mornings. I'm generally happier when there's light around. What's your highest level of education so far? Some college. Describe your ordinary day: My average day is embarrassingly uneventful. It's sitting on the laptop doing shit on various sites, none of which are actually important, and playing WoW, which is also without true substance, save for social interactions with my friends on there. I spray Venus' terrarium everyday multiple times as well to keep the humidity up, and obviously eat and handle that kinda bodily needs stuff. Would you ever have a UV tattoo? Ugh, that'd be so dope. I've seen some awesome ones, but idk if I'd get one, considering when am I actually going to be under UV light?? Like I wanna be able to see my tat. What is the brand and color name of your favorite lipstick? I have one black lipstick, but it comes right off so I don't even like it. I only ever put it on to take pictures. What do you like on your tortilla? Just ham and cheese. How about inside your pita bread? I've never had pita bread, actually. What do you like in your burger? It depends on where I'm getting the burger. My basic is cheese, ketchup, mustard, a bit of mayo, pickles, and a light sprinkle of diced onion, but sometimes I add bacon and take away the onions. How about on your pizza? I have three I tend to pick from: pepperoni, jalapeno, or meat lovers. Do you work better alone or in a group? Alone, definitely. Which body part would you not mind losing? I'ma be extremely honest, with just how horribly weak my legs are, I could live without them, I guess. Not saying I want to by any means, it's just exhausting using them. Ideally, I'd take away something minor, like a finger or something. What common saying people use is absolute BS to you? “'Everything happens for a reason.'” <<<< Fuckin' colossal "same." I won't rag on people who believe it, especially if it gives you courage to keep moving forward, but I don't believe it in the slightest. If it were so, I'd like to talk to whoever is in control of those "reasons," please. What is the most interesting thing you’ve read or seen this week? I had no idea elephants were pregnant for two years, like holy shit, can you imagine. It was in an article I saw on Facebook about a mother and daughter elephant who are both expecting and doing well. Wonderful to hear. What’s the most useless talent you have? Ha, I'm a master in the arts of catastrophizing and jumping to conclusions involving people hating me in one way or another. What’s something everyone looks stupid doing? I'm one of those people who hate dabbing done by anybody, like you look like you're just smelling your armpit. Which kids’ movie scarred you for life? I wouldn't say "scarred me for life" by any means, but when I was little, I was terrified of the Wicked Witch from The Wizard of Oz and even had nightmares about her. It sucked because my little sister was obsessed with that movie, haha. In one sentence, how would you sum up the Internet? A source of incredible knowledge but also hate and misinformation. What would be the most ridiculous thing for the government to make illegal? I literally dread the idea of Roe vs. Wade being reversed. Banning abortion would kill so many people with operational uteruses and cause absolute pandemonium. How many friends do you have on social media and how many of them do you know for real? On Facebook, I have 124 friends, and I'd say I know most of them "in real life." However, having been on the Internet since I was so young and befriending loads of incredible people, a good chunk are "online friends." Hell, I'm more interested in their lives than most "real" ones. Long-distance friendships are so valid. What fact amazes you every time you think of it? Lots of things, generally regarding the stupidity of humanity. What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done? Probably going to the beach w/ my old friend Colleen. We had zero plans of doing it, but she just called me one morning and asked if I wanted to go, and off we went. It was a fun day. What has taken up too much of your life? I'ma be real, WoW. I don't think I'm addicted to it like I once was seeing as I go through spans where I barely want to play it at all and don't, so I truly am capable of not playing it, but rather it's just the most entertaining way to kill time in my life. I just don't like how much time I've invested into a game over six or seven years regardless. Where do you not mind waiting? Uh, nowhere lmao. Is there an app you hate to use, but still use every day? No; why would I use it if that was the case? Who is the funniest person you know? My friend Girt is fucking hysterical. What three words describe you best? Complex, passionate, and creative. What makes you think you’re smart? Lol who says I think I'm smart? Who inspires you? Korean Jesus. Okay on a serious note, not just him, of course, but he's #1 in an entire universe of ways. Do you aspire to be like somebody else? If so, who? No; I want to be my own authentic self. How did you meet your best friend? YouTube, back when it had more social aspects. Which one of your accomplishments are you the most proud of? I want to say my recovery, but like... I wonder a lot if it's "enough" to be proud of with how scarred I still am? I still struggle with a lot and feel like I could be so much better by now if I tried harder. If I'm completely honest with myself, I think it's finishing high school in the top percentile of my graduating class. There was a ceremony for the handful of us and all, and I cherish my plaque probably too much. Reminds me of a time when I knew what the fuck I was doing. What's the strangest thing you ever did as a child? Thinking I had "animal powers" where I could invoke the traits of certain animals at will, like what the actual fuck, Brittany. What did your mother teach you? Christ, a lot. Dad didn't do a lot of the raising, honestly, so much of my core values and whatnot were instilled by my mother. She taught me to care for and be nice to others, respect myself, try my best in everything, and most importantly that she is always there for me and my sisters no matter what and can tell her absolutely anything. She was very serious about us going to college and saving sex for marriage when we were younger, but she diverged from those ideas as absolutely necessary with experience. I'm extremely lucky with who I call my mom, overall. What did your father teach you? Eek... Read above. Not a lot as a kid (save for riding a bike and playing softball); most he's taught me has come following reuniting with him after my parents' divorce. I remember we went to lunch once and talked about my breakup, and he talked to me about sometimes, you just have to let people go in order to be happy, like with him and Mom. He's very serious now about ensuring us girls know that he is always there for us and will help us in any way he's capable. What makes you feel powerful? "Powerful" isn't something I really feel, if I'm being real. What are you ready to let go? It would be inexplicably fantastic if I could let every speck of Jason go in both my head and heart. What is your most bizarre deal-breaker? I don't really find any of my expectations and limits as "bizarre?" They're all valid to me. Well wait, idk if you'd find it strange that I absofuckinglutely would not date someone who hunts, but it's not to me. That's a difference in a very serious value to me. Would you rather be hated or forgotten? Hated. God, I don't want to leave this earth having given just nothing. I can live with some people hating me for whatever reason. What’s the biggest personal change you’ve made? Accepting my bisexuality, probably. That's something that I consider pretty big for two reasons: 1.) I could end up with a woman forever, and especially 2.) I was originally homophobic. I still have difficulty in fathoming how I ever was. What are some of your short-term goals? PHP is finally starting to make me build these again. I want to get better at selfcare, draw, write, and read more, I want to drink a lot more water, exercise way more... Lots of things, really. What is the weirdest thing about you? Uh. I dunno. Probably that I RP meerkats, which is a very obscure RP niche for sure.

[amethysttribble]

On the matter of 'Your Grace:' That was the address in use by the English monarchy until 1519, when Charles V of the HRE started using 'Your Majesty' and Henry VIII decided he didn't want to be left out of the status contest. So if you take ASOIAF as a pseudo-medieval work, Martin's quite correct that 'Your Grace' would be the appropriate one to use.

I was aware of that! If you’ll forgive me, dear anon, I’m kinda gonna go on a rant here, in the most enthusiastic but slightly exasperated way possible. Any and all snippiness is not directed at you, but rather my own inability to accurately convey what I meant initially, and therefore the several well-meaning but ultimately off topic replies that followed.

My problem with Martin’s usage of “Your Grace” was never historical in nature. It had to do with religion in regards to the etymology of the word ‘grace’ and how that relates to asoiaf’s wordlbuilding.

‘Your Grace’ (to the best of my knowledge) does not refer to a monarch’s elegance when walking, speaking, being magnanimous, etc. etc. It refers to godly grace. As in ‘Your Grace’ is a grace (gift of love and mercy) from the Christian God. The king rules by the Grace of God, as well.

My consternation stems from the fact that as far as I know, there is no concept of divine right connected to the Iron Throne. Oddly enough, after I posed that question I thought ‘maybe Baelor the Blessed popularized the address’, but that’s neither here nor there because that’s me making up for Martin’s world building inconsistency. My point still stands, because I don’t think the Faith of the Seven has a concept of religious ‘Grace’ either. They could! But as far as I know, they don’t. I also don’t think it’s a universally, or even widely accepted idea that the Targaryens were placed on the Iron Throne because of the Seven/ Old Gods/ etc.

That was what I was asking about: Whether the Iron Throne had any historical association with divine right, deeper ties to the Faith than what I’ve seen. To the best of my lore knowledge, there is nothing in universe to suggest that a majority of people think there is anything godly about the monarch.

In fact. Martin’s in universe historiography implies it really, really isn’t, as many times as the Targs got on the Faith’s bad side and how well recorded that is. Not to mention the general acceptance that the dragons were what gave the Targs the right to rule, and how not religiously associated those dragons are. None of this even touches on the fact that the Targaryens didn’t even worship the Seven/ Old Gods/ etc. when they conquered Westeros.

This got long. But Divine Right is actually something I’ve done projects on, so I have a lot of thoughts! So no, Martin is only sorta historically accurate in his usage, but no matter how you spin it I don’t think it’s consistent with his world building.

I know it’s pedantic to say, but this is a fundamental problem with all fantasy. When you take from the ‘historical’ but don’t consider how and why that practice/custom/ etc. existed in the first place, you run the risk not organically integrating it into your fantasy world.

[insert post about Tolkien’s unreliable narrators, in text translations that explain inconsistencies, and multiple fully formed languages here]