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ootahime · 3 years ago

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analyzing every gojohime moment in the manga 😈

this series will probably have more than one part because tumblr only lets me upload ten images per post </3

warning: there are disgustingly long paragraphs in here and delusions

chapter 32

utahime’s first introduction! akutami lets us know right off the bat that she thinks gojo is an idiot (so true).

chapter 32

i love the contrast between miwa and utahime’s reaction to gojo’s appearance.

chapter 33

NAH BC TELL ME WHY HE WENT OUT OF HIS WAY TO NOT GET HER ONE LMAOOOO!! when he traveled overseas to meet with yuta, he picked up the tribal protection charms and thought to himself, “let’s get enough for the kyoto students as a gift since i am such a great and caring teacher, after all. mmm, i should skip utahime to make her mad~” this guy puts way too much effort into getting on her nerves. his mind = utahime brainrot

chapter 33

she’s laughing at him here because he’s getting disciplined for being a lil shit. i wonder...what would he say if he saw her laughing at him like that?

chapter 33

this interaction between them is a little strange don’t you think? i feel like over the years he’s learned how to pick up her mood based on the way she’s acting towards him. you’re probably thinking, “well any person can figure out how a person’s feeling based on the way they’re talking or acting.” yes, that’s absolutely true, but it’s kind of different with this. she’s acting normal. utahime has a rather indifferent expression on her face and what she says is spoken in a calm tone, but gojo still asks her if she’s mad at him. it’s likely that he knows her well enough to be able to notice these subtle things. even if she wasn’t actually mad at him, he was being considerate for a split second, then he went and said, “of course. i didn’t do anything wrong and all.” what a guy LOLOL. to me, this implies that maybe he made her genuinely angry in the past to the point where he realized that he went too far, and thus decided to be more careful of her feelings. she has definitely gotten annoyed at him so many times after that so whenever she seems angry, he probably asks himself if he took it too far. i’m curious to see if he can pick up if she’s upset with something that’s not involving him. would he console her? how does gojo satoru console someone?

despite him always annoying her, she’s still courteous and brings him a cup of tea during their talk. she didn’t have to go out of her way to get tea for him but she did. that’s the kind of person utahime is. a kind and caring woman who would never put her students in danger. in the anime they were sitting far away and not facing each other like they’re doing in the manga. she also has her own tea cup. i think that little panel of her placing the cup down on the table and him picking it up to take a sip is a nice little detail. it just proves that her hating him most of the time isn’t actually pure hatred but annoyance because of his shenanigans and teasing.

chapter 33

i touched upon this a little bit in my previous post, but i wish to go more in depth about this panel. first of all, he ends the sentence with her name twice. two times too many, mr. gojo. i like how they can be serious with each other too LOL. i wish we got to see them talk about the traitors because they did figure it out together after all. does it always end in bickering? can they interact with each other like adults all the way through? somehow, i feel like that’s not possible when it comes to these two. furthermore, notice how gojo confides in utahime about his suspicions. from what we know, she is the first person he brought it up to. i mean, i guess he has to start investigating the schools and would need extra assistance to save time, but he could have done it himself if he really wanted to. by deciding to ask for her help we know that he thinks she’s trustworthy, smart, and strong enough to face whatever considerable risks this task may entail.

i didn’t point this out in my other posts but see how he makes a hand sign in the last panel when she throws the cup at him? gojo is manually activating his infinity. why though? about a year after the whole star plasma vessel incident happened, gojo develops the ability to keep his infinity up at all times by using the reversed curse technique to consistently heal himself to prevent exhaustion. this means that it really makes no difference whether he leaves it on or off. there are a few times where we can witness someone actually touching gojo. for example, yuuji giving him a hug. did he turn his infinity off, or was it able to deduce that yuuji was not a threat? the erasers and pencils shoko and geto threw at him during his demonstration of his new ability aren’t dangerous normally, but is it the speed that makes them dangerous? even if it did hit him, it wouldn’t hurt. how does the infinity know when to allow an incoming object to touch gojo? i believe it is up to gojo himself to let things touch him; his infinity restricts anything and anyone. some people say it could just be the fact that water is not dangerous to him, so therefore, he has to manually put his infinity up. i thought this was a reasonable explanation as to why he put up the hand sign when the tea was thrown at him, but then i realized that it couldn’t be. remember the second opening? it’s raining and everyone is carrying an umbrella, then it pans to gojo with a bouquet in his hand and rain drops slipping off his infinity. if he DID manually put his infinity up to prevent getting soaked then that implies that he chose to turn his infinity off. you can argue and say that jujutsu high is a safe place with students so there’s no need to have his infinity there, but do you remember when he stepped on the ants in front of gakuganji and yaga? the ants were perfectly fine after which insinuates that his infinity prevented his shoes from crushing the ants. he most likely had his infinity on during the baseball game even though he was in a safe environment. how does this long tangent relate back to utahime? well, it simply indicates that gojo trusts utahime so much to the point where he can be vulnerable around her. turning off his infinity symbolizes completely letting down his guard in a way.

how about what happens next? utahime throws the tea at him, he turns on his infinity to deflect it, and he responds with, “scary! hysteric women aren’t popular, you know!” why would he even say that LMAO?? utahime doesn’t even try to deny what he said either. she just hits him with the good old, “i am your senpai!” could it be that he’s trying to poke fun of her relationship status? maybe, maybe not. doesn’t he like people a lil crazy? he did say that all jujutsu sorcerers have to be a little crazy because they’re willing to put themselves in danger constantly.

chapter 0 p.1

i wonder who he’s thinking of when he said that. could it be utahime? it seems like he’s reminiscing or thinking about someone. he wears an amused expression on his face as he laughs - almost like he’s seen his fair share of how scary women can get :>>

chapter 34

the pattern behind gojo and utahime is called yagasuri “fletching,” a traditional japanese design. this design is inspired by arrow fletching. it's a lucky charm for weddings and other celebrations since it's based on the Japanese belief that an arrow shot once never comes back. brides were given kimonos with this pattern for good luck during the edo era (1603–1868) to ensure they would not have to return to their original family home. this pattern can have numerous meanings such as steadfastness or determination to achieve a goal, or a wish for the happiness of the bride. there is a belief that a bow and arrow represent the fight against evil. honestly, this meaning fits the narrative of the story. utahime and gojo are unearthing the traitors that are feeding intel to the curse users and cursed spirits. they are in the middle while the kyoto students surround them, which could mean that it’s their job as adults to protect these children from the grasps of evil slowly making itself more prominent. do you also notice that the arrows are pointed toward utahime from gojo? from all the images i’ve seen, the arrows are usually pointed downward. what could this mean? is gojo trying to protect her (in the future (?)) or does he have a big fat crush smh...

i think it’s a good time to mention utahime’s clothing. she’s wearing miko attire. miko are shrine maidens who were once thought to be shamans (you connecting the dots?). in their service to shrines, miko used to perform spirit possession and takusen (in which the possessed person acts as a "medium" (yorimashi) to communicate the divine will or message of that kami (god) or spirit; also included in the category of takusen is "dream revelation" (mukoku), in which a kami appears in a dream to communicate its will). this was back in the old days, of course. to become a miko back then (shaman), one needed to have potential. neurosis, hallucinations, odd behavior, and hysteria (HYSTERIA HELLO???) are some of the signs that a person is being called to shamanism. when a miko is communicating with a kami (god) or spirit by acting as a medium, she is in a trance-like state, and so she must learn techniques to control herself when this happens. chanting and dancing were used to accomplish this, so the girl was taught melodies and intonations that were used in songs, prayers, and magical formulas. all of this could give us insight about utahime’s technique and explains why she’s good at singing :) maybe she can’t control herself when she uses her technique which is why she isn’t shown using it because it should be used for dire situations. i imagine being possessed by a spirit or god must consume a lot of cursed energy. it makes sense that utahime and gakuganji wear traditional clothing. they’re the staff of jujutsu high’s kyoto branch. in chapter 0, kyoto is known as the sacred land of jujutsu. it’s more traditional compared to tokyo. if you want to learn more about miko, you should check out the wikipedia page!

chapter 34

i swear he tries to annoy her every chance he gets. i bet he sets a goal for himself to see how many times utahime lectures him about respecting his seniors every time he’s within the same vicinity as her. at least he called her utahime-sensei!!!

chapter 40

this isn’t even a gojohime moment tbh...i just wanted to share a pic of them sitting next to each other HEHE. why are they sitting next to each other anyway? it’s not like they have assigned seating.

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that was so long and i apologize for the gargantuan paragraphs you guys had to read through. i’m writing this at 4 in the morning and i’m feeling borderline delirious so i apologize if there are any errors. i’ll edit this when i have time <3

the next part should come shortly.

#gojohime #gouta #gojo x utahime

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ilove-cedricdiggory · 4 years ago

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Moony

Remus x Reader

Part 2

Summary - After you left Remus after telling him about your pregnancy, you're now trying to juggle being pregnant by yourself in a foreign country, along with your three best friends searching for you.

Trigger Warning - Cursing, mentions of abortion, angst, it's longish? I think that's all. Let me know if there's more though.

Italics are letters, Bold is unknown to the readers.

America.

That's the only way you can really describe it. It is, well, America. Some places are incredibly beautiful, some terribly ugly. Some incredibly cold, some unbearably hot. Some busier than Diagon Alley on the day all the kids come to buy their things, some slower than a virgin's bedroom.

You hadn't seen much, especially seeing as how you had only been there for a week, but it was already more than you expected. You expected a stern talking to, you expected a bed rest, you expected a midwife in every thirty minutes, and you definitely expected to have someone at your side every second of the day. But, that wasn't what you got.

Especially seeing as how, your Great Grandpa kicked the rest of your family out of the house before you arrived, not wanting his favorite grandkid to be in an uncomfortable home, especially while she was growing his two great, great grandkids.

He was incredibly wealthy, a pure blood from England gone American. You had been the only one that actively spoke to him and visited him as often as you could while he lived in England. Now, your family was watching the sand fall in his hourglass to see who got the most money from his will. Honestly, though, you could see the man living another 200 years - just to spite them all.

He had taken you out, shown you incredible things, although you were stuck in a stupid state of unbearable heat - Texas. Although, the heat had taken you out of the sweaters that had you crying every time you got a whiff of his scent, and into some beautiful maternity sun dresses. You had already sent 20 pictures to Molly.

You had yet to write to Lily though, but her owls came twice a day, at least. You were starting to worry that she would get on James' broom and follow the owl herself to find you. Her letters really all stayed the same.

Y/n, just tell me where you are. I won't tell Remus, or Sirius. Heck, I won't even tell James. Harry and I will come visit and I'll tell you all about how I beat Remus' arse. Or how James did....Or how Sirius did. But, please, just write me back. I love you. I miss you incredibly.

Then you had

Y/n, come on, you really have me worried. The entire order has heard about what happened and I think they're all freaking out each second like we are. We miss you. You're the ray of Hufflepuff joy we all need, the always Ravenclaw intelligence the boys really need, the absolute Gryffindor bravery in the craziest of situations that the order needs, and the Slytherin strength I need. Please, just write back.

Then, she got help from the boys - or, the ones you would be open to hear from.

Y/n, while I have to be honest, Lily is standing over my shoulder watching me write this, I was going to do it either way. Remus was an absolute arse, I understand that, but we miss you. Lily, Harry and I want nothing more than for you to be home, with us even. You don't have to see him, you really don't. We just want to be here for you through this time, the good and the bad. Please write back.

When that didn't work, you had a howler from Sirius.

Y/n Y/l/n, I swear, if you don't write me back, I'm gonna jump into the paper and send myself! I'm going absolutely crazy watching Lily freak out every day! You're the only one that can calm her, not even James is doing it! You're taking away my precious James time! I fucking miss you - okay? Moony is an absolute dick. He deserved you walking out on him, he really did, but please don't walk out on all of us too. Y/n, we miss you, we really do. Moony isn't even here anymore, he left after we all went to Molly's - Sirius, don't tell her that! - Shit, fuck, how do I scratch that? Uhhh, I didn't say that. Erase! Erase! Lily, how do I erase on a howler? Fuck. Whatever. I'm sure it erased. But, come home. I'll make James make you that surprisingly good chicken he makes and I'm sure Lily would love to give you some old baby momma clothes or whatever the fuck they're called. I just - we just - no, I miss you, okay? Come home.

Your heart broke, not just because Remus was missing, but because your friends were hurt.

You sat down at the table in your guest house, sighing softly. A quill and some parchment sat before you, your hand shaking as you dipped it into the ink.

Lily, James, and Sirius.

While I know I could write a letter to each of you separately, I'm almost positive you're all together, or you're gonna call each other as soon as you get my letter.

I'm okay, I think. Not as okay as I wish I was, I cry a lot. While I wish I could blame it on the hormones, I know it's not. Everything reminds me of him, even here. No, I'm not in England, I'm in the states. I'm staying with some family and I think it's doing me well. At least, I've started to own my pregnancy.

After what Remus said to me, my body broke. I just about hated the fact that I was pregnant. Not my kids, just that I was pregnant. But, with each day, I realize that this pregnancy is the thing I needed most. While I wish I didn't have to say this - it showed me the man Remus is. Does that mean I cry any less? Of course not - you guys know me.

But, I really don't think I can come home, at least not yet. I'm still trying to figure out what I'm to do. I love Remus with every fiber of my being, but how do you love a man that told you to get rid of your own children, the minute he gets home from a mission he could have died from? How do you let him hold you as he feels the two children you both created grow in your belly knowing he hates them?

I'm going to come home eventually, of course I am. And I already promised Molly I'll be back for a visit soon, and you guys are more than welcome to come visit once I teach my family how to properly floo in America - did you know they don't do that here? It's super weird. But, I love you three incredibly. I'm so sorry this has happened. Be safe.

Your heart broke as you debated on writing more, about what your heart was still set on. Remus. Where was he? Where did he go? Had they heard from him? Was he looking for you? But you couldn't bring yourself to ask them.

The owl was sent with their letter, leaving you in the silence once more.

How could you feel so absolutely alone when you had people wanting nothing more than to be with you? Is it what you thought you deserved? They were his friends before they were yours. You felt horrible that they were taking your side. You felt your heart ripping slowly with each beat it made in it's spot in your being. It was like one half of your heart was tied to Remus' and with each beat away from him, it tore you apart - slowly, filling you with excruciating pain.

Five minutes after the letter was sent, you were standing, trying to find a way to busy your mind.

Ten minutes after the letter was sent, you were crouching in the corner, the weight of your predicament pressing down on you so hard, it's like it formed hands and was set on pushing you six feet under without any hole dug for your body.

Twenty minutes after the letter was sent, your body was shaking with it's sobs once more, the loss of not only your spouse, but also the friends you loved almost as much as him.

An hour later, you had fallen asleep on the floor, your mind groggy and your heart tearing with each beat, your conscious hoping to pull you away from the pain your felt in the body that was supposed to be yours - but belonged to the man who seemed to not want you anymore.

It was dark, so incredibly dark. The only thing that was seen was the moon, halfway full in it's wake. The only thing heard was the pads of feet stomping on the ground as they ran. Ran where? Ran why? You could feel the pain in your chest, but it was like it wasn't your own. As you came to a stop, you looked at a building that seemed a familiar kind of unfamiliar - although that didn't really make much sense to you.

Before you realized it, you were slumped over the toilet, letting out the contents of your stomach. One of your hands pulled your hair to one side of your shoulder, keeping it there. But all you could think was how badly you wish it was Remus holding your hair, rubbing your back as he whispered sweet nothings in your ear.

But all that mattered today was to get through it, like any other day.

One day following the motions.

Two days following the motions.

Three, four, five days.

Until your hands were pulled from your face, the skin around your fingers almost chewed to nothing, the warm face of Lily standing before you.

"If I see you bite your fingers one more time, I'm going to hex them to taste like Harry's dirty diapers." She spoke, pulling you up from your spot on the couch.

"Lily - I." You stopped, looking around her to see James, Sirius, and Harry. "How?" You asked, looking back into the eyes of your best friend.

"Your great grandpa is super cool. I think he was getting tired of all the letters we were sending him too and gave us the floo network here to knock you out of whatever it is you're in." Sirius spoke, Harry on his shoulders, pulling at his hair.

"You guys-" You were cut off with Lily pulling you into her hold, her larger belly pressed against yours as you both attempted to properly hug one another.

"I have missed you, so much" Her voice was soft, uncommon for Lily. Her hands held you tightly, almost like she was holding onto you to make sure you didn't disappear once more.

"Come on Lils, other people missed her too." Sirius spoke to cause her to pull away and glare at the man. "If you weren't holding onto my kid, I'd have hexed you so hard for that." She said, moving to grab Harry from his shoulders as James wrapped you up in a hug himself.

"If we hadn't seen you for another day, I think Lily was going to fly off on my broom." He said, causing you to laugh at your own prediction.

You finally got to Sirius, his arms holding you tighter than the two. "I'm sorry." He mumbled, his hold growing tighter. "What are you sorry for, Siri?" You asked him, pulling away to look into his face.

"What he said, what he did. That's not what you deserved." He mumbled, pushing your hair back a bit. "I swear, I about pounded his face in at Molly's. I think Arthur had to separate me magically." He trailed off, looking at the floor.

His words brought tears to your eyes once more, your heart feeling empty, yet full. "That's not your fault, Sirius. We all knew he didn't want kids, but we weren't careful. I don't know why his reaction surprised me." You were honest with them, having thought this entire thing was truly your fault.

The three of them surrounded you, their eyes narrow with intent. "Y/n, the last thing this is, is your fault. You're his fiancée, not a random person. Either way, those are his kids. He shouldn't have treated you like he did." James spoke with meaning, wanting you to understand each word he spoke.

Somehow, the four of you relaxed enough to find yourself growing to bed. You showed Sirius his room, a place where James and Lily can lay Harry, and then their own room, before finding your way to your own.

You laid in bed, wide awake. You knew what tonight was, the night before the full moon, and knew that Remus was probably out wherever he was, already in pain. Every turn was different, it truly was, but each night before the full moon, his body ached, his bones almost softened, knowing they would be breaking and turning in 24 hours, and his head psyched him out, especially when you weren't there. This was now the third full moon your financé was to handle without you.

You refused to cry, knowing Lily always had a third sense to that stuff, and willed yourself to sleep. But, you laid there.

And laid there.

And laid there some more, until you couldn't handle the quiet, and found yourself moving out of the room and towards Sirius'.

You had slept with Sirius before, each time when Remus was gone and your heart could hardly handle it. Now, the three hearts inside of you couldn't stand the guilt of not being with him.

The door didn't creak when you opened it, none of the floor boards made a sound, but that somehow made it worse. Your feet carried you to the dark haired man, seeing his sleeping frame move, sensing another person there.

His eyes jerked open, coming to look at you as he smiled sadly. "How did I know you'd come in here. Just can't resist the charm, can you?" His voice was deeper, rougher from sleep. It calmed you, but never like Remus' did. You waddled closer to the man, his arms opening for you as you crawled into him.

You both laid in silence, but awake now, as you took in the moment.

"I miss him, Siri. I know I shouldn't, I know I should hate him, but my entire being misses him." Your voice was softer than his was, much softer, but it wasn't because you were afraid of him, but because you were afraid of your own truth.

"I know you do. I know he misses you too. You guys are kinda like Lily and James, meant to be. He's just, an absolute git for this." His fingers worked in your hair, rubbing your scalp and causing your eyes to close in comfort.

"I thought we were meant to be too. But, he doesn't want me anymore. He doesn't want us." At that, Sirius rested a hand at your bump, this being the first touch they really had beside your own. "He does, he's just stupid and scared. Either way, you have us. Aunt Lily, Uncle James, and, the absolute best uncle in the world, Uncle Siri. We've got you." His sensere words lulled you to sleep, a sleep where you felt safe and happy falling into.

You were running again, but it didn't feel like you were in danger. It felt like you were running to run, really. Which, was something you did not do. You weren't in the woods, but you didn't know where you were. All you did know is that you were still scared. Absolutely, bone crushingly scared.

With each step you took, the fear grew. How could you possibly be this scared? You were looking for something, but you didn't know what. You were shaking, but from both the cold and the fear. You were shaking. Shaking. Shaking

Shaking. "Y/n, wake up!" Sirius was looking down at you, his eyes full of excitement. "Your great grandpa is showing us the American version of Diagon Alley today!" You smiled up at him, nodding.

"Okay, okay, let me get changed."

The four of you had left your Grandpa once he settled himself down to play some wizards chess, waving you off.

"You know where the house is when you're done, I've got a title to keep."

You wandered through stores, showing them the few things you had learned so far about the wizarding world here. The four of you had just walked into their version of Flourish and Blotts when you were stopped by an older couple. "Oh, you both look absolutely wonderful! I remember when I was that pregnant. How far are you both?" she was smiling at you and Lily, growing closer to you.

"I'm due in about a week and a half. We already have one, Harry, who's staying with her family." She had pointed to you, smiling at the older woman. "Oh, I'd expect you to be due any day now. Seconds always come early and you look family dropped. What about you dear?" She had looked to you, glancing at your own belly.

"Oh, I'm only a few months along. Twins." You laughed, your hand resting protectively on your belly. "Awe, that's lovely. You both look radiant. Two amazing father's, I hope?" She now looked at James and Sirius, smiling at them. "Oh, no, I'm not the father. Our best mate is." Sirius spoke, gesturing to you. "Well, I dunno, is he?" He asked, looking at the three of you. "It's complicated." Lily said, smiling.

The older woman nodded, smiling. "I completely understand. I wish you both the best of luck." She bid you all adu, leaving with her husband.

"I can't tell if that was awkward or sweet." James laughed, leading you all to the door to leave.

You all laughed as you walked through the Wizarding space until you and Lily began complaining about the swollen ankles and bloated stomach enough to convince James and Sirius to guide you both home.

As the day turned into night, you now showing your friends the muggle artifacts your grandpa has collected from his move to the states. That was, until Lily groaned in pain.

"Fuck, she was right." The young woman grumbled, clenching her bump. "What do you mean?" James asked, his hand on her back softly. "He's coming early, James. I'm in labor, fuck." She groaned again, tilting her head back at the pain she was feeling for the second time in her life.

"Shit, Sirius, go find some towels. I'll go tell grandpa to write the healer for labor." You spoke, pointing Sirius in the direction of the towels before moving to Lily. "It'll be okay, okay? Everything will be fine." She nodded, gripping your hand tightly as she looked in your eyes. She smiled before groaning once more, a contraction hitting her. "Okay, okay, healer. You guys lay her down." Sirius returned with multiple towels, James and him laying a few out before helping Lily lay down on them.

You turned to waddle out of your home, attempting to get to your grandpa's house as quickly as possible.

Three steps towards his house, you heard a twig snap.

Five steps towards his house, you heard a thud.

Nine steps towards his house, a figure stopped before you, it's frame furry and bent, a growl releasing from his lips.

A werewolf.

How the fuck is a werewolf standing in front of you, in the middle of fucking Texas, in a populated muggle area?

You took a few steps backwards, until it clicked.

The only Werewolf that would spend his full moon looking for you was the same werewolf that has plagued your mind for the past month.

Moony.

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gwenhwyvach · 3 years ago

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thoughts on the green knight (2021)

i have a lot of Thoughts that i was originally going to post to my main but this is what the sideblog is for. tl;dr under the cut

tl:dr: i think overall the themes were well-represented, but i couldn't figure out WHY they changed the things they changed - some examples i was looking for were things like making it more accessible to a modern audience, or fitting into the allotted time, but those weren't really there. it was largely incomprehensible to anyone who doesn't have intimate knowledge of the poem; i think that inaccessibility like that is a MAJOR flaw in a movie (again at the bottom) things i am docking points for, in chronological order:

christmas day: this isn't like important to the plot but it's super annoying to me personally when people think the date for the beheading is christmas day when it's actually new year's day. we've all heard 12 days of christmas it's not that big of a stretch to figure out they're still celebrating it on new year's

morgan being gawain's mother: this is a big one! arthuriana has so few female characters, and erasing morgause removes a major one and messes up a lot of stuff by moving her to the beginning. more on this later.

sub-bullet of that actually: why is arthur so old when morgan is not. what is UP with that

other sub-bullet of morgan in the beginning: her giving gawain the belt and it getting taken by the kids who mugged him. i can see it representing loss of innocence and his mother not being able to protect him anymore, but then its role switches to being a lot more symbolic later (to match its role in the poem) in a way that is confusing for the audience. more on this later as well.

re: the kids mugging him in the forest: i GUESS this symbolizes loss of innocence? maybe? but it just makes gawain look like an idiot and lengthens this part of the movie so i'm docking points.

the fox: i literally do not get the point of this from a metaphorical standpoint. literally as his guide it made sense up until the end. trying to convince him NOT to go to the chapel seemed...counterpoint to its motives up until then?

the exchanging of winnings: this is a big one because it's so crucial to the poem and like. how do you mess it up this bad while still including it. first of all lady bertilak gave him the book before the exchange was even called so to the audience it looks ridiculous. and don't even get me started on the weird camera-esque portrait!

then like. she gives him the belt on the FIRST DAY. completely fucking up the timeline here. why would you do that.

and THEN she doesn't even kiss him! she fucks gawain completely without kissing him,, so when lord bertilak kisses him it makes literally no sense from an audience standpoint. if you're gonna make it an exchange of winnings it should be an even exchange so it. makes sense? (this is where 'it makes no sense! compels me though.' applies.)

the belt fucking scene: would've been fine except lady bertilak said 'you're no knight.' this (clearly modern) interpretation of the text wasn't there at all. in the poem, the problem wasn't gawain kissing her; it was him failing to give all the winnings to lord bertilak. /that/ is what made him fail. this is actually my biggest beef with the movie's adaptation for a modern audience.

the old woman in the bertilak's castle: SO stupid. just there to make gawain (and the audience) uncomfortable. since morgan has been removed piecemeal and dropped at camelot, this old woman is useless and confusing, especially without the juxtaposition between the poet's description of her and their description of lady bertilak.

the end of the beheading game: first of all, gawain getting there early is dumb and renders the knight's three swings narratively useless

the dream sequence: narratively does a decent amount to contextualize the meaning of the green belt, but ONLY if you know where it's going. if you know that the belt is supposed to symbolize gawain's failure to complete the quest and hold his oath, it makes sense! otherwise it just seems like a belt he had sex for one time and now refuses to take off. confusing.

also i hate it as a device. wasn't good when twilight did it, isn't good here. (i don't actually remember any other movies that did this off the top of my head)

the actual end: terrible! you cut out like, the most important part of the poem: when the green knight actually explains everything, including who he is, the fact that morgan's involved and her motivations, the point of the exchange of winnings. this is further confused by the movie green knight stroking gawain's face and calling him 'his brave knight.' if you don't know that that's the guy who kissed him ten minutes ago you're even more confused now

not to mention we don't see if the green knight actually decapitates him. like i get that you're going for ambiguity here but. why.

speaking of ambiguity, it's nearly impossible to decode what's going on if you don't know the poem really well. i touched on this in the other points but. i want to call it out explicitly

things that i liked but are not worth any points:

this being Gawain's Big Break: i actually thought this fit VERY well thematically, however there were too many scenes where he was like. Suddenly Famous and Well-Regarded. the worst was at the bertilaks' castle, because in the poem they're not supposed to know about the beheading game. also this takes away the Essential Medieval Romance Trope of the knight attempting to hide their identity

gawain being just a lil bit slutty: not executed well. see the belt thing above.

the giants. they were cool but served no purpose. also why were they all hairless with boobs what was that about

the fact that gawain and lord bertilak did in fact kiss: i so desperately want to give points for this but it felt again like our modern view of sexuality speaking over the text. gawain should have given kisses freely and as part of the exchange of winnings but it felt like he Couldn't do that as the hero which was disappointing. it felt like a Big Deal when it isn't presented as such in the text.

things i am bestowing points for:

the winifred scene: unhinged and unnecessary subplot of helping a random maiden in the woods COMPLETE with a barb about how you can't ask for anything in return? talented. brilliant. incredible. amazing. showstopping. spectacular. i have no complaints about this addition.

the pronunciation of gawain's name: in college i had a professor who told us she pronounced it ga-wen when it was without the e and guh-wayne when it had the e. so props for matching that i guess

gawain's yellow cloak. i want one.

the camera shots were beautiful

the dialogue felt SO good. when it started in verse i was super excited and. throughout it really wasn't distracting? very good

costumes were not accurate even with my limited knowledge but they slapped so i don't care

I ALMOST FORGOT THE ACTING which shows how good it was. very very

tl:dr: i think overall the themes were there and it was very pretty, but i couldn't figure out WHY they changed the things they changed. also, it was largely incomprehensible to anyone who doesn't have intimate knowledge of the poem; i think that inaccessibility is a MAJOR flaw in any movie

#arthuriana #the green knight (2021)#the green knight (2021) spoilers #the green knight spoilers #overall i think i would like it better the second time when i wasn't watching it to analyze everything that was different or odd

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drabbles-of-writing · 4 years ago

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Reverse Au! Dump

Don’t mind my idea dumping here. Brain decided to have fun while I was at work and I have too many wips as it is, so… Thought I’d ask before I dumped, experience. Used morningmark’s comics as a base, so if you want reference. Now this isn’t all that well compiled, but here it goes.

Magic in the Other World is varied as it is crazy. So many styles over the generations and not a lot of organization. There are some that try to categorize it all, but that works as well as you’d expect. Some were lost, some erased, some weren’t passed down/recorded because “the power is all mine! Ahahaha!” It took a lot of time and collaboration, but eventually a sort of system was installed to help out. Still a lot of work to do, but its a step forward. Nowadays the term Wild Magic is generally reserved for those that aren’t all that well documented and understood.

Some Magics are very powerful and desirable, but also tend to be very high risk/high reward, kinda pass/fail, pretty literally Do or Die most times. So not a lot of people can use those or are even willing to. Story says this one guy named Odin hung himself on a massive tree by his own spear for nine days, no food water or rest in constant pain before he could unlock the secret of Runes. But it’s also said he gouged out his own eye to drink from the Well of Wisdom so…

There are lots of different ways to channel magic too: wands, staves, jewelry, certain gems, familiars, potions, enchanted armaments, chants, scripts, etc. Each tool has its own advantages and disadvantages and play into a Witches’ style. Every Witch has at least two methods of spellcasting. Only children have one. Haven’t thought of how Luz gets her Palisman though. Maybe its one of those magic Artifacts like Dr. Strange’s cloak, Elder Wand, Thor’s hammer, or a Green Lantern’s Ring. Something that can’t be recreated because the secret is lost, materials no longer exist, too hard/dangerous to make, accident that can’t be recreated, etc. Happens more often than people like.

Camilla is sometimes called the Blue Witch. She’s a healer by heart and trade, but push her and she will become a one Witch Battleship. Bismark who? Aaaaand she just deleted a whole battalion. And the fortress behind them. Hide me. There are the very rare occasions, like count on one hand rare, when someone near and dear to her heart is in trouble that she takes up her other job. She’s especially terrifying when she decides to torture, those who know how to heal the body know best how to break it. Many shades of Blue, some are very close to Black. She doesn’t necessarily hate Humans exactly, but doesn’t have the highest of regard from past experiences.

Luz has training and is a proficient Witch for her age. Camilla and her father were adamant about having a general knowledge/skillset alongside her specialized skill. Jack of all trades and a master of none, still better than a master of one. She has gone through the system for her magic with varying success. Oracle magic? Zero talent. Bard classes? She can play an instrument, but can’t sing at the same time. When she does sing she tires too hard and messes up. It’s only when she doesn’t try, like absently singing along with a song or playing by her heart, that she’s good at it. Beasts? Can use them, but would rather play with them. Bleeding heart and all that. She does have a good handle on healing magic partly due to Camilla drilling necessary skills into her and partly osmosis. Her father arranged for some CQC lessons from an old friend of his which the girl loved. You get the idea. It wasn’t until she discovered Glyphs that she found her niche and her skills took off. Glyphs are one of those ‘eccentric’ or 'archaic’ styles since they haven’t been used in so long after being lost and are barely understood. She still has a long way to go, but she is on her way.

Luz never really had much in the way of friends, partly cuz of high profile parents which leads to certain pressures and a target on her head, partly because of her magic style and personality, and partly because of the trouble been going on. Luz grew up her whole life with this tension of a group of anarchists trying to burn society that’s just trying to do the right thing. The anarchists started small, but have been a growing problem the past few decades with talk how to 'reshape the world’ in not a good way. Anyone with critical thinking skills can tell this is a bad idea, but they are too brainwashed to notice. They harass anyone who doesn’t follow their rhetoric and attack anyone who even questions them. Luz’s parents put a real kink in a lot of their plans for years, which makes Luz guilty by association.

Luz got caught in one of those sudden larger scuffles and was accidentally chucked/blown through a portal created by an attempted tactical retreat that went off course. Hence why she can’t go home because she hasn’t learned how to do portals yet. Those are high level anyway so how did these guys pull it off so easily? Luz has a hard time blending in obviously. Learning how to use a phone was a fun endeavor. Internet was a trip. Luz is amazed how these people can do all this cool stuff without magic. Keep a low profile sure, she can pass off as a weird out of town kid. Keep the beanie on, underperform in gym and stuff because some things don’t change, like genetics. Someone sharp eyed will see discrepancies. The Beanie has a small Glamor spell built in that covers her witchy traits but she forgot the ears which is why it sits like it does. Luz can erase memories in case she has an accident, but it’s less of a 'remove my face from this picture with a scalpel’, and more of a 'lemme just hack off the past hour or three from your brain with an axe.’ If she tries to take any more then she starts burning into some more dangerous territory and those Wiped are groggy and disoriented for a while after already. Then the magic attacks start happening and her heroic instinct/anti-bystander complex kicks in and there goes that. It runs in the family so Camilla isn’t surprised in the slightest when she finds out.

“Oh titan, why did you curse me with another me?” “I’m right here Mami!”

Eda has a shack very akin to Grunkle Stan. Lots of junk that Lilith can’t believe that people are dumb enough to buy. She’s also involved in some not so legal dealings on the side. Well, Eda isn’t actually hurting anybody and the tax dollars she should be paying would only go towards some politicians’ next yacht or another pointless overseas 'investment’ instead of where it’s supposed to go so. Eda does give some good intel on occasion and a place to vent so Lillith overlooks her. Lil’s more of the secret police for witches and a petty crook isn’t part of her job anyway. Eda understands Luz’s predicament and is willing to help. The cover story is that Camilla work in hospitals and has to work crazy hours while her dad passed away so is living with Eda for a while. King is that kind of critter that grew up weird and acts like ten different animals all the time.

Gus is the nerdy kid who infodumps on everybody, even if they’re not listening. Loves anything fantasy/sci-fi related and plays Minecraft too. A good kid at heart, but needs some social skills. Keep him away from anything more sugary than tea. Luz learned a lot listening to him. Not all of it is entirely useful, but still. Some of his ramblings give her some good ideas for magic and stuff, like putting Glyphs on cards.

The Blights are the cool rich kids obviously, and have some discipline and social issues. Big family name makes them intimidating for normies and a meal ticket for the unsavory. These kids need real friends. They decided to act out to get some attention from the parents who then decided to ignore them. “If you’re going to act like a child tantrum, get treated like one.” Ed is perfect for Drama classes, if he were allowed to partake. Can’t decide what Em is great at, hacking perhaps? Amity’s car is an inheritance from the only family to treat her as such Twins aside, even if she’s too young to remember it. She only remembers that she has feelings surrounding the car. All three of them were pretty impressed with Luz for standing up to them, calling them out on their shit, and not giving a crap about their family name. Being treated like a normal person is pretty weird. Can we get her to do that again?

Amity tried dating Boscha once, didn’t work out very well. Boscha is still hurting over Amity’s comment of “I’d rather go date the new weird kid (Luz) than go back to you.” It’s one of the reasons she goes after Luz. She has that kind of Bud personality from Spider Man, feels lesser and so acts out so much.

“Wow, this new Witch is amazing. Not as cool as the original Witch.”

��What is it with the Witch with you?”

“Oh, she’s a hero. Looks out for the city and the little guy. She inspires me. Makes me want to be a bigger person. *sees Luz* What’s up Luz-er?”

And that’s what I got right now. I know there was more, but it’s lost to the void right now. Might come back later, maybe not. Lemme know what you think.

............

DAMN you weren’t lying when you said you had an info-dump this is *chefs kiss* you got me intrigued now

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inosukeslefttoe · 4 years ago

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SO i just finished wonder egg priority and i think that with confidence i can say it has been one of my favorite animes like... ever ?? and not even from hyperfixation or obsession over it just... its so fucking real yet so simple in a way that i havent rlly seen shown in any other shows you feel ??

but first i wanna talk about how sexy the art and animation is real quick... HOMIE ITS SO GOOD LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT JUST... serotonin... the characters are all so unique and iconic and fun but not over the top in their designs yknow ??? they seem like regular every day girls but they stand out and theyre all sO CUTE !!!! also i love how the style is like this soft bubbly slice of life lookin stuff with bright happy colors and the most beautiful scenes you could find but they also have the SICKEST fight scenes complete with whimsical animal helpers and terrifying villains and crazy weapons unique to each character. and the animation. god DAMN shawty i am obsessed with everything in this show. i might make a post solely about the art later lol bc i wanna get into the other stuff.

so the themes in the show right ?? it starts just as this cute lil magical girl kinda deal but within the first episode we see that like.. oh damn... thats kinda heavy... tbh i was a little shocked and thought about stopping bc yknow bad mental health BUT i was so intrigued that i had to keep going and i am SO GLAD that i did. because this show just so beautifully discusses all these heavy topics in such an eloquent and artistically expressive way. and also like, , the juxtaposition of the charming childlike vibe with bright colors and 14 yr old girl protagonists against the dark themes of suicide and so much else,, i think is just perfect. bc a lot of heavy animes are more of the seinen genre and have some middle aged dude as a protag or make the entire color palette dim or offer little relief to the pain of these heavy themes right ?? but NO not wonder egg bitches B) because these problems arent just things that ppl face later in life or just problems that need to be talked about among adults or the edgy seinen watching squad,, these are REAL problems that face people of every age, gender etc and i think its awesome that wonder egg addresses that. some may cringe at the thought of their high schooler watching animes that discuss sexual harassment, suicide, abuse, self harm, eating disorders etc,, but in reality it is the most comforting thing i have ever come across and is basically jsut free anime therapy. because not only does wonder egg present these themes to the viewers as something real that happens to all kinds of people (making said people feel heard in a way that maybe they hadnt before), but it also makes sure to vanquish all of these forms of trauma. and the way the trauma is vanquished isnt always beautiful and it isnt always just magically gone with a poof. the struggles of overcoming or living with that sort of thing are shown in such a real and relatable way that addresses every hardship trauma survivors have to go through. and i just. god i cry bro.

oh m y GOD and the lgbtq+ rep in this show ?? like shawty... as soon as i saw episode one i was picking up on some gay/lesbian themes but then again im sapphic and project that a lot so i tend to see that sort of stuff like... everywhere... but NE WAYS... episode ten made me FUKCING CRY BRO LIke i cant believe there was a whole trans character with a whole trans pride hoodie like LKGHKDGH my heart is just so.. so fucking full thinking about him. bc like yeah i know there are trans characters in anime but i feel like theyre always very ambiguous about actually being trans or not or erased or portrayed as a harmful stereotype or theyre constantly misgendered and still refered to as their assigned gender at birth and i hate it. HOWEVEr... Kaoru.. *chefs kiss* it was so amazing to see a character straight up say “yeah im trans” in such a casual yet powerful way bc i personally have never seen that before. and i love love loved how he went into his backstory and talked to momoe about gender bc i think thats what she rlly needed and that it helped her find herself and it makes me so happy oh my god,, and the way they talked about it never seemed forced or like it was the focal point of his existence yknow ?? like yeah he existed to help momoe overcome some of her trauma but he also just existed to be HIM yknow ?? also... personally, i headcanon momoe as a trans girl even though i dont remember it being explicitly stated plus the school scenes of her and stuff would seem like they suggest otherwise ??but,,, SHAWTY THE AMOUNT OF SUBTEXT and her complicated relationship w gender is... something i feel like a cis girl would not go through so harshly yknow ?? with all of the questioning and feeling detached from femininity or feeling like ppl dont see her as an actual girl and only like her as a guy or for her masculine traits,,, but dont take my word on this bc i myself am a cis girl but that was just my take on it as someone in the lgbtq+ community trying to educate myself on the transgender community :) either way,, wonder eggs portrayal of momoe and kaoru and the way that momoe becomes so passionate about expressing herself the way she wants to as a girl is just... good lord im gonna cry its so perfect,,,.so ... i just love this show way too much. i also am honestly super lost about the relationship btwn acca and ura-acca ?? bc i was gonna mention ura-acca as a canonically gay guy bc when i was watching i interpreted ep 11 as him being in love with acca and being jealous of Azusa (bc i mean,, they lived together (i swear to god there was only one bed in that apartment) and had a daughter together and def loved each other and also when Frill said they were husbands and then when ura-acca said he wasnt attracted to azusa but he was def jealous of their relationship ??) but then i saw somewhere that theyre brothers ?? which would make sense ig since they look kinda similar and accas daughter called ura-acca “uncle”.. but at the same time its ANIME SO THEY ALL LOOK SIMILAR and referring to gay couples as siblings is an EXTREMELY common euphemism soooo... IM JUST LOST HERE... but yeah i tried doing research and found different things so i cant say anything for sure >:( however,,, if they are canonically a lil fruity for each other... when frill refered to acca as ura-accas husband i imploded dude you never hear that sort of wording in anime.. but if theyre related i am so sorry.

god this is so much longer than i planned it to be oops but i also love the theme about like.. relying on friends to help carry your weight but at the same time not becoming completely dependent on those friends and using their support to learn how to love yourself and rely on yourself yknow ?? bc that is exactly what healthy friendships look like. bc i think ai sort of had a codependency thing goin on with koito maybe ?? but now she has a whole squad of funky friends that are so so different but all struggle with different kinds of trauma and although they fight over it, they always get through it with each other together. and they push each other no matter what to be the best versions of themselves and they teach other that getting hurt is okay because theyre always gonna be there to pick up the pieces no matter what happens. they can give each other space when they need and adapt to meet each others needs but theyre always able to balance it out with their own needs and thats such a beautiful thing in friendships especially at their age like damn i wish i had that maturity when i was 14 but no all i had was depression. another thing is that through these friendships you get to see all the different sides of each girl; you get to see them being strong or a shining light to their friends when theyre hurting but you also get to see them being hurt and weak and allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of the comfort. their friendships allows them to have weaknesses but it also allows them to highlight their strengths and thrive off of each others. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP DUDE

next i wanna briefly mention some of the themes connected to suicide that ive noticed. a big one is the survivors guilt that ai feels once koito is dead. several times she screams that she wishes she couldve gone with koito and she dreams of a “perfect world” where they committed a double suicide. one of the main reasons for her troubles is that she blames herself for koitos death and feels like it should be her thats dead... but at the same time she feels like too much of a coward to do anything now that koito is gone. she just has all these complex and contradicting feelings that wear away at her in ways that ppl that havent gone through the suicide of a loved one could never imagine. a lot of the times when things like this are portrayed in media i feel like its more in a way thats meant to guilt trip those that have taken their own lives and paint suicide as this selfish sin thats unforgivable but... not only does wonder egg reject that idea and instead portray it as a heartbreaking tragedy with,,, so so many terrible reasons, but it focuses on the feelings of ai separate from koito without blaming her in any way. not once did i feel like the show antagonized koito or that ai blamed koito for doing any of this, but they simply mourned her loss and touched on ais reaction towards the event but separate from koito herself if that makes sense. and i think that discussing survivors guilt without painting koito as the bad guy is something so beautifully done in wonder egg that can really resonate with those that have lost a loved one to suicide and have struggled with these same things.

okay i think this is the last thing ill mention,,, but HOMIE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE BIT AT THE END. I AM. OBSESSED. i am such a whore for anything about the multiverse okay n e ways...,, not only did this make a super epic trippy ending of season one and add a little bit more magical girl whimsy to the show,, but it had such a powerful message. from the perspective of og ai,, finding out that you killed yourself in another world is... i mean its definitely not a surprise but at the same time it rlly makes you think how close og ai herself couldve been to that point and what decisions led her out of that dark place in her life. if i were in her shoes i would be terrified and id cry bc the thought of going back to such a dark place and actually going through with something like that is my worst fear and probably something that ai fears too. but at the same time,,, think from the perspective of ai two !!! like yeah its true that theres this awful terrible version of ai that dies but theres also a whole version of ai that is a superhero magical girl fighting off monsters to save countless ppls lives !! and she has a badass lizard and a gang of awesome friends !!! at first i was worried that ai two would be jealous of og ai and compare herself to her and feel inferior but like.. THEYRE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND CAPABLE OF THE SAME THINGS !!! and ai two realized that !! just within the span of one episode, she went from the version of ai who took her life,, to the version of ai jumping in front of a friend to take a bullet for them and save their life. and that just inspired THE SHIT OUT OF ME. i think that ai was sent another version of herself to sort of beat her own worst enemy yknow ?? those doubts and fears that shes no good or that shes that same bystander from episode one and that she hasnt changed at all. but getting to interact with her parallel self and see her grow was just what she needed to realize that while yeah sometimes the worst thing can happen and things can be terrible but on the other hand sometimes the most wonderful thing imaginable can happen because she has the power to do either.

so im gonna go ahead and stop rambling bc i got all my thoughts out that i wanted to for this post :D but yeah lol i might make another if i feel like it sometime. long story short: this show is perfect and it is going on my favorite of all times.

#wonder egg priority #wonder egg spoilers #ai ohto #rika kawai #momoe sawaki #wonder egg priority neiru #i forgot neirus name #anime review #wonder egg ai #lgbtq anime

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jaedore · 4 years ago

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BINDING BONDS | 4

< prev | next >

parings: jung jaehyun x reader

genre: ceo!au, arranged marriage!au, consumption of alcohol, asshole/player Jaehyun, swearing

[ ◇ angst ]

note: BB deals with themes of mental and physical abuse, which can be upsetting for some readers. If you feel uncomfortable reading these types of plots, you are advised to not continue

a/n: just a little update before things get a lil crazy. i didn’t want the characters to go through so much so quickly, so enjoy this filler chpt!! also send me some feedback, i’d love to hear from you guys! ♡

[ 6.2 k ]

You woke up to a throbbing headache and the sun shining in your face. You tried moving away from the light, but a firm pair of arms held you in place. Turning your head, you see Jaehyun sleeping peacefully behind you. You instantly jolt away from him, aghast that you two were in the same bed.

Jaehyun stirs from the impact but immediately falls back asleep after mumbling incoherent words. Out of all the moments you’ve had with him, this is the first he held such placidity, you couldn’t help but see those features of his that everyone admires. Jaehyun’s skin coated with a honey tone that looked like it was made for a polished statue, the way his feather-like eyelashes kissed his cheeks, and the tint of his lips. It felt like you’ve done this before, admire him.

Oh no, we didn’t...you looked down and realized you were wearing his shirt, clutching the black cotton between your fists.

“You’re awake,” Jaehyun whispered, rubbing his eyes.

“Uh yeah,” you avert your gaze elsewhere, even his morning voice made you jittery.

“Don’t worry, we didn’t do anything,” he responded, looking at your disheveled state.

Your hair was put in the worst bun possible, last night when Jaehyun was removing your makeup, your hair was all over your face so he had no choice but to put it up somehow. Since you slept in it, more hairs poked out making you look bizarre. The bare face you possessed brought out the puffiness of your cheeks and the swole in your lips. Jaehyun couldn’t help but look at you, who sat in his shirt. Considering that it was bigger on you, he noticed your shoulder poking out. Nervously, Jaehyun diverts his gaze elsewhere.

“Then how did you get into my bed?” you asked, the last thing you remember was drinking to the sight of him and Chaeyoung at the after-party last night.

“You wanted me to stay,” Jaehyun clarified.

“And you listened to me?” you blurted, clearly frustrated with your actions. As you threw the blankets off, Jaehyun gently grasped your hand to stop you from leaving.

“Y/n, please. About last night, I meant what I said at the Charity Ball,” he began.

“I don’t know,” you brushed him off, standing up.

“Please, just hear me out,” Jaehyun begged.

You hesitated for a bit, what if he doesn’t mean his words? What if he just goes back to how he was? You inhaled enough air to inflate your lungs, making your decision. You sat back on your bed, crossing your legs, letting him continue.

“I know what I did was wrong and nothing will ever justify it. I was just angry that I wasn’t allowed to find love for myself, I was angry that I couldn’t be with Chaeyoung. All of the words I said that tore you down, every action that I had done to hurt you, I take it all back. You didn’t deserve to be treated like that and I’m truly sorry. I know it’ll take a while for you to forgive me, but please, I want to apologize for everything.” Jaehyun looked up at you and you knew he genuinely meant what he said because you’ve never seen such misery in his eyes.

You sat dazed in front of him, your mind couldn’t stop asking questions. Does he even mean all of this? “So what does this mean?” you looked up from your lap.

“I don’t know, but I do want to try this out with you. I want to see if I can get there with you...no-” he shook his head, “-I want to get there with you and we can go as slow as you want!”

You sat there thinking to yourself, you were so conflicted and guarded. Is this too soon? Is he just saying this to get in my head?

“Please say something,” he pleaded, fiddling with his fingers.

“I-“ you inhaled a sharp breath, “-I don’t know Jaehyun. We’ve been so hostile towards each other the entire time. This is toxic, this isn’t good and I don't want this.” you faltered.

“Then what should I do?” Jaehyun asked, brows furrowed. As desperate as he sounded, he genuinely wanted to be better for you...and for himself.

You didn’t know, you didn’t want to say anything because there was a lot that you wanted him to do, “Jaehyun,” you fumbled for the correct words, “I-your words really hurt me, don’t think I have the heart to trust and forgive you right now.”

“Oh,” he lowered his head, clearly disappointed.

“I appreciate you apologizing though. I think it’s just going to take me some time to figure this out on my own.”

“Of course, take as much time as you needed,” he stood up and with soft steps, walked out of your room.

Why is he so sad in the way he walked? What happened yesterday and why is he suddenly acting differently? You threw your blankets aside and rested your hands on your propped up knees. Your pounding headache wouldn’t stop as you tried to recall the events that happened last night. You remember the vibrations of the blaring music, the flashing lights, the sheer coating of sweat on your body, Jaehyun dragging you away, the dried tears that stained your cheeks, and...you crying. Oh my gosh...you winced at your humiliating behavior as the conversation you had with Jaehyun came back. How can you be so stupid? Get your shit together, damn it y/n!

It took you a while to get yourself out of bed, you didn’t want to risk facing Jaehyun. Maybe that’s why he’s all apologetic now. You thought, citing your conversation with him from last night. When you finally heard the familiar sound of his door shutting, you got up to wash your face. It was then you realized you didn’t have any makeup on. Oh, he must’ve taken it off…

After getting yourself ready for the day, you walk downstairs and there’s a saturated aroma of savory breakfast food filling the air, “You made breakfast?” you walked down to see two sets of plates placed on the table filled with food.

“Yes,” Jaehyun’s lips pressed together.

“Oh, thank you.”

“I’m sorry for not making you any last time,” he scratched the back of his head, “um, let’s eat.”

If you were to be honest, the tension between you wasn’t exactly there, but it was just a little awkward. You sat across from each other in silence as you ate, the quietness was eating you alive so you took the courage to speak first.

“What happened last night?” you asked him, you just wanted confirmations of your thoughts.

“Well” he began, “at the club, you got super drunk that you started dancing with one of my friends, Johnny Suh. So I took you home and...you started crying.”

“Oh my gosh,” you rested your forehead on your palm, embarrassment washing over you, so everything I said was true. “Please don’t tell me what I said,” you held up a hand and continued eating your food. You already knew what you said, you just didn’t want to hear it from Jaehyun.

“Oh. Okay,” Jaehyun thought that maybe you were just embarrassed, but he also felt like you didn’t want to talk about how you truly felt. He figured he’d have to wait for you to be ready without being intoxicated.

The day went on how it usually did, you both went to your rooms, this time leaving your doors opened a bit. Occasionally, you’d go to the kitchen to get a snack and you’d see him doing the same. Instead of just staring at each other with a void, a small nod would come.

It’s going to take time. Jaehyun reminded himself as he watched you go back up to your room.

You, on the other hand, you weren't handling it too well. You were so used to people coming and going as they pleased, that you’ve built yourself a wall. You’re just trying to be cautious because of the past and because of how Jaehyun regarded you.

Your phone rang, interrupting you from your thoughts, “Hello?”

“Hey, how are you doing?” Haewon asked.

“I’m fine.”

“You left me last night without telling me that you were leaving early with Jaehyun,” you knew your best friend was pouting on the other side.

“I’m sorry, I was just really wasted,” you sighed, you needed to stop doing that.

“Yeah I know, at least you got home safely,” Haewon commented, “he didn’t...yell at you again right?”

“No.”

“Oh really? What happened?”

“Well this morning, Jaehyun apologized and said that he wanted to actually try. But I don’t know, Haewon. I really really don’t know what to do,” you faltered.

“Really y/n? He apologized? And you’re going to really believe that? ” Haewon doubted.

“I mean he sounded sincere,” you shrugged.

“Well, I don’t trust him at all! I hate the way he treats you. There’s no way he whole-heartedly meant it.” Haewon retorted.

“We’ll see,” you huffed.

“Anyways, I know you're still planning your collection for spring and summer, but I just wanted to check up on you. I hope you’re doing okay,” you felt her heartwarming smile melt your heart.

“I’ll be okay,” you reassured her.

“I’m serious, y/n! If he mistreats you again, Imma just have to come over and give him a little punching!” Haewon threatened.

“No! Don’t!” you said in bewilderment, “Mark already did and it didn’t end looking good, so please, no more fights.”

“What? Mark Lee? No way.”

You explained to her the situation of that morning, you still couldn’t erase the image of Jaehyun who looked defeated and contrite at the time. The way his full shoulders suddenly withered over his sturdy body, his firm hands collapsed beside him, and his eyes painted in poignant. The image stained your brain and no matter how much you tried forgetting it you couldn’t help but feel the slight twinge in your chest.

You rushed the conversation, in hopes of ending the topic, “alright, it’s late and I have to get into the office early tomorrow. Goodnight, I’ll talk to you later,” you yawned.

“Okay, love you,” Haewon replied.

You hung up, feeling your stomach grumble. You’ve been in your room all day, you haven’t gone out to eat yet. You headed to the kitchen for a late snack and as you opened the fridge, you spotted a written note stuck to the top of a container.

[ I made some for dinner, but you seemed busy on the phone. Just heat it in the microwave until it’s the way you want it ]

You took off the top, smelling the stir fry. You nodded, impressed that Jaehyun can actually cook. Once it was warm enough, you sat at the table and scrolled through emails. You had more files that needed to be approved, hopefully, it wasn’t as much as the last round. Launching a new collection was definitely hard, especially when it’s for two seasons of the year, which meant two different concepts. You loved your job, but sometimes you wish that there were easier ways to approve things.

“Good morning,” your mother greeted.

You pressed your lips together at the familiar sight on your desk. Once again, there were stacks of files sitting on your desk, so you had to literally move them to make room for yourself. As you sat down, you ordered the files from most urgent to least and immediately got to work.

This time, you weren’t so harsh on yourself. You often took breaks and occasionally got food with your mother, you enjoyed the time you shared with her because it wasn’t often that you did.

“How are you and Jaehyun?”

“We’re...good,” you hummed, stirring the tea that sat before you. You watched as the tinted liquid swirled after your spoon in the glass cup, it went with the flow. Maybe I should too.

“Honey, I know when you’re lying,” she took your hand in hers, almost as if she was trying to shield you from the dark world of being hurt.

“Mother, really, we’re fine,” you sighed. You didn’t want to trouble her or stress her out, you both already have enough on your plate.

“Just know that you can tell me anything, okay? I’m your mother.”

“Of course,” you thinned your lips.

When you came back to your office, you were persistent on finishing, so you worked hard until the series of words soon became blurred and your brain couldn’t absorb any more information. When you looked at the clock, it was suddenly 7pm. You felt the tension in your shoulders, rolling them back, you knew you needed to reward yourself before you started on another department. You strolled into the break room and brewed a cup of tea and sat at one of the closer tables, you heard a text from your phone.

[ Jaek-ass: hey I made some food and stored it in the fridge again. Just reheat it when you come home ]

You haven’t changed his name from your contacts, you were going to leave it at that for a bit. Of course, he was gentle in caring for you when you were wasted, you could still feel the warmth of his arms around you. Also when he apologized and when he made you dinner, but despite all that, you were so guarded. You know he was trying, but the hurt that he caused you was blocking you from accepting it.

When you came home around 9, it seemed like Jaehyun was already in bed. He usually worked from home, but this week he was in the office. You envied how he always seemed to have it lucky, everything usually goes his way. You walked to the fridge to take out the container of food he prepared for you, this time it was macaroni and cheese. You chuckled as you set it in the microwave, you always ate this during your college days whenever you were pulling all-nighters. The taste brought you back to your old days.

You found your mind wandering to Jaehyun and his old days. You wondered where he went to think and process his thoughts, who were the friends that made him laugh and formed those dimples of his, you didn’t know a lot of things. Did he talk to Chaeyoung yet? You sighed, they had so much history. You knew you were intruding into their relationship, but this was a situation that you couldn’t help.

As you got ready for bed, you called Haewon for a little chat, before you moved in with Jaehyun, she would always come over and spend time with you. You missed her dearly, she was the crazy friend that always gave you a good time, but this time you wanted to talk seriously with her. You expressed to Haewon your concerns about letting your guards down and opening up to Jaehyun. She always knew you were guarded and always did her best to make you feel comfortable, but she felt like if you never let your walls down, there was going to be no one waiting for you. You huffed when she said that, all you wanted was to find someone for yourself… but maybe that person is you.

“Well, I’m going to head to bed. You probably have a busy work schedule too, so go to bed, I’ll talk to you later. Love you.” Haewon bid.

“You have no idea. Goodnight, love you,” you hung up the phone and threw yourself on the bed. It’s not like you can blame your parents for putting you in this position, this is all they know, they were put in this situation, and so were your grandparents. To be honest, it felt like a family curse.

When you woke up the next morning, Jaehyun had already left for work. Breakfast was stored and as you reheated it, you scrolled through your emails. The Designing Department had already sent digital images of rough drafts for the upcoming Spring-Summer collection. The designs didn’t look right, so you figured you’d have to go to their department today. You exhaled in annoyance, going down there meant that you weren’t able to work on the files, which means that everything you hoped to finish was going to be put back.

“Morning sweetie,” your mother greeted from her desk.

“Good morning mother, I have to go down to the Designing Department for a bit today, have my assistant call me if I'm needed.” you quickly set your bag and made your way.

You double-check your notes, making sure everything was ordered and organized. As the upcoming CEO, you had to have your life together. As the elevator doors open, you stride to the open doors that hold one of the most important assets of the company.

“Good morning, Ms. y/l/n.” everyone greeted you.

“Yes, good morning, everyone. Today we have a busy day, I went over the files that were sent to me and some adjustments need to be made. That being said, I want to work with the design processors first, we’ll get all of the designs done for the prototyping to begin today. Everyone, get to work!” You commanded, everyone dispersing into their job.

You walked over to where the processors were, they were in charge of designing the outfits. The colors, patterns, print, and proportion were all done by them. Several of them had their head buried in their desk, Park Chaeyoung. There she was, sitting in her desk, solely focused on her designs. Her head perked up once you towered over her.

“I heard you’re very good at designing-” you nodded at her drawings, “-may I take a look?”

“O-oh! Of course,” she handed you her stack of papers.

You quickly scanned her sketches, her lines were delicately drawn with preciseness and the patterns complimented the outfit, she unexpectedly met your expectations. One thing that bothered you was that the colors didn’t harmonize well together, instead, they clashed. Nonetheless, you were still impressed.

“They’re not bad,” you sighed, handing them back, “but I advise you not to play with the colors too much. The designs are very well drawn, but the colors clash too much. It makes it hard on the eye.” you advised her.

“Yes, Ms. Y/l/n, thank you for the advice.” Chaeyoung bowed her head.

You smiled back before drawing your attention to the rest of the team members. You went to each of them, making sure the designs were well correlated with the collection. You made sure to speak with every designer and ensure that everything corresponded. Every fabric, texture, detail, and sampling had to be perfect, there was no room to mess up.

By lunchtime, you weren’t as close to finishing as you wanted to be, but you can tell that you lacked effort from the designing team. You huffed in annoyance, “alright, everyone, thirty-minute lunch, please. Be back as soon as possible!” you demanded.

As you let the entire team to lunch, you sat and scanned over the designs again, ensuring everything was perfect enough to move on. You wrote corrections and notes here and there, so the processors knew what to revise and change.

Jaehyun sat in his office chair, fixated on the papers in front of him, his hair tousled, and his tie slightly loosened. Going over the accounting finances were a pain in the ass, he had to make sure everything was correct, and so far, they weren’t. The debits and credits were mixed up, even an elementary student could’ve figured it out. It wasn’t even better that he was meeting up with Chaeyoung at her place tonight. Jaehyun was going to clear things up with her and for once, he felt like he was doing the right thing.

Back at Audace, as soon as the department was back, it was time to get to work. You gave the processors a few minutes before beginning the prototyping process. Not only was designing hard but so was sewing. Everything had to fit together, the fabric needed to be embedded, and it had to be the fabric that the outfit was designed for. You glide the folded textile through the sewing machine, yarn connecting it into one. As you put the finished textile on the mannequin, you heard someone scolding. You turned your head to see the head department, Jieun, lecturing Chaeyoung as she held her head low. You walked over, hoping to alleviate the tension.

“You should know better! Even if Ms. Y/l/n gives you thirty minutes, you only have twenty minutes! We are launching our Spring-Summer collection. We don’t have time to be flexible, we don’t even have time for lun-”

“Everything alright here Jieun?” You raised a brow.

“Y-yes,-” she bowed, “-everything is okay.”

“Then let’s get back to work, we have a lot to do.”

You led the Designing Department through the whole process in making the outfits. Textiles were sewn, fabrics were slipped on the mannequin, and outfits were completed. You sighed after completing a few, the department still had a few more to go and it was almost the end of everyone’s shift. Your fingers flowed through the silky fabrics of one of the blouses you put together, you were putting your whole heart and soul into this collection, you had to impress society that you were made to be the next CEO. A ring from your phone suddenly distracted you from your thoughts.

“Hello?”

“Hey y/n,” it was Jaehyun.

“Hi, is everything okay?” It wasn’t usual for him to call you at all.

“Yeah, everything’s fine. I’m just letting you know that I won’t be home until later tonight,” he said.

“Oh, ok-” you paused, “-do you want me to leave you some dinner?”

“No, that’s okay. I know you’re busy with work, just get some sleep when you get home. I’ll eat when I’m done.” Jaehyun said.

“Okay,” you bid him goodbye and hung up the phone.

You could hear the fatigue and stress in his voice. Maybe he’s busy at work, hopefully, he gets some sleep. You didn’t want to meet an angry Jaehyun again. You eluded your thoughts and got back to work, you figured that you’d be working overtime also, so you did your best to rush with preciseness.

Jaehyun cleaned his desk, he grabbed his bag, ready to leave for Chaeyoung place. He hadn’t figured out what he was going to say to her, but he had a clear idea.

“Goodnight Mr. Jung,” his employees bowed as he passed them.

Once Jaehyun was driving on the road, his mind strayed to you. He wondered if you were okay at work, if you had a lot, and if you were taking breaks often. Jaehyun didn’t exactly know you, but he knew how stubborn you were, especially when it comes to work. You liked to plow through the work, you liked to get things done. Jaehyun sighed as his palms tightened on the steering wheel, he was nervous to talk to Chaeyoung. So many ‘what if’ scenarios flashed through his mind.

When Jaehyun pulled into Chaeyoung's parking lot, he felt his palm sweat. Uneasiness settled in his bones, he didn’t want to break her heart, he didn’t want to break the woman he loves. He’s already broken you, he didn’t want to break another, especially Chaeyoung. Jaehyun timidly walked up to her door, quietly knocking on it, hoping that the hush of it was heard.

“Jaehyun!” she pulled him in for a hug, shutting the door behind him.

“Hey,” Jaehyun gently pulled her away, “we need to talk.”

Chaeyoung pulled him to her couch, she sat and grasped his hand sensing the seriousness, “Is everything okay?”

“I-” Jaehyun rubbed his face, hoping it’d release some of the tension behind his expression, “-we need to stop.”

“What do you mean?” Chaeyoung’s voice quieted.

“This,” he pointed back and forth between them, “we need to end this.”

“W-why? Did I do something wrong?” Her voice weakened.

Silence drapes the room as Jaehyun sits across Chaeyoung. He knows he has to tell her the truth, that’s what she deserves, but her reaction made Jaehyun anxious. Would she hate me? What if she never wants to see me ever again? He couldn’t afford to lose her, but at the same time, the guilt ate him alive every time the image of you flashed in his head.

Jaehyun tangled his fingers through his hair. “No, you didn’t do anything wrong,” he exhales, “I’m engaged to someone.”

“What?” Chaeyoung’s eyes widen, “who?”

There was a long pause before Jaehyun can speak up, “Y/l/n Y/n,” he lowers his gaze at his fiddling hands.

“My boss? You’re engaged to my boss?” Chaeyoung stood up appalled.

“Please sit,” he begged.

She yanked her hand from his, “How? Why? Since when?”

“Since a while ago, we won’t be getting married until the summer. It’s for business, but honestly, I just don’t think my dad wants me to marry you,” he quietly scoffed, “Jung Corporation is a joint company with Audace.”

Chaeyoung’s head falls into the palm of her hand, “I hate you. How could you do this to me? Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“Because I wanted to be with you! But I’ve treated y/n like shit and now...I want to try this with her,” Jaehyun whispered the last part.

Chaeyoung sits in silence, before she releases a long-awaited sigh, “Please go,” she points to the door.

“Ch-Chaeyoung, please,” he pleaded.

“Get out, Jaehyun!”

So as much as Jaehyun wanted to stay he knew he had no choice but to leave, he knew that you were probably waiting at home for him. This is now over and he knows that it’s time to focus on fixing this up with you, but he can’t help but feel the pain in his chest. For such a long time, he’s waited for Chaeyoung to come back from the states and start a life with him. Of course, things never work out for him.

Before he drove home, Jaehyun drove to the edge of a cliff. The twinkling lights that lit the city helped him overlook his problems, it helps remind him his problems were only small. Jaehyun rested his head on the steering wheel, a choked cry came out, which grew into sobs about everything he’s done. Jaehyun wanted out, he didn’t want to be put through this, not anymore, but thought of you always reminded him that he wanted to be better. Even though he had you, his heart hurt for Chaeyoung, the memory of her crying, pointing out the door, telling him that she hated him would resonate in his mind.

When you got home, Jaehyun hadn’t made it back yet, usually, he’d be home around 5 if he was ever late. You shrugged it off, making your way to the kitchen making dinner, and turning on some music. You were making your favorite dish, pad thai. Hopefully, Jaehyun liked it too because you were going to pack a little for him.

The rice noodles that sauteed with the sauce and vegetables filled the kitchen with a delectable aroma. You set yourself a plate and a container for Jaehyun, leaving it uncapped to cool down. You sat by the table, munching on your dinner as you scrolled through your phone. You replied to text messages and emails that required your approval.

“Maybe I should just stay later,” you sighed. Since you spent the day in the Designing Department, you didn’t get the chance to work on any other department files. You rubbed your temples in frustration, you were going to have to bring them home. You were never fond of bringing work home, you cherished the moment you had after work because it was your time to relax and be at peace. Work was work and whatever work you had you left it in your office until the next day, but everything was so demanding now.

You didn’t want to think about it anymore, you set your phone down to enjoy the food in front of you, but you shortly heard the door open and a tired Jaehyun walked in. His hair was tousled, his tie was loose, and a couple of buttons were undone. His eyes held dark bags and were stained red, was he crying? Jaehyun looked at you curiously, to him, you looked overworked, considering you were still in your work clothes.

“I just got home,” you answered, it was like you read his mind, “I made some pad thai and packed it in the fridge, just give me a second-” you got up from your chair, making your way to the fridge, “-I’ll heat this up for you.”

“O-oh, you don’t have to. I can do that, just come finish your food.” Jaehyun stuttered.

“It’s okay,” you already had the pad thai on a plate and placed it in the microwave.

You set the warm food in front of Jaehyun who seated himself beside your chair. You watched him from the corner of your eye, you wanted to see his reaction.

“This is really good,” his eyes widened.

“You like it?” you asked.

“Yes, what is this?” Jaehyun asked, taking another bite.

“Pad thai,” you replied, “when I was younger, my family and I would often take trips to Thailand. One of the chefs taught me how to make it since I like it so much.”

Jaehyun nodded, continuing to eat as you quietly sat and finished yours. You offered to clean up and let him get ready for bed, but he was persistent in doing the cleaning, so you let him. You walked up to your room to get ready to shower, hoping that the hot water would release the tension in your shoulders. As it did, you couldn’t help but feel unsettled, you were typically good at giving people the cold shoulder, especially to Jaehyun, so why were you suddenly being considerate of him? You dug into your subconscious to see where your feelings were with him. You convinced yourself it was going to take time to forgive him, but your actions already said that you did. Colliding with your thoughts, you didn’t know who to listen to.

It was late and you wanted to leave for work early in the morning, but as you laid in bed, you couldn’t stop shuffling in your sheets. Your body was physically drained, but your mind was everywhere. Why did he come home late? Was he crying? Your brows furrowed. You remembered how he looked at you when he came in, for a split second you thought you saw heartbreak and regret in his eyes. Maybe he went to go talk to Chaeyoung. You sighed. Only your thoughts of tomorrow could confirm it.

So there you were, 5am, sitting in your office going through the files. With your tea beside you, the shuffling of papers swayed the steam coming from the cup, almost cooling it down.

By the time your mother came in, you had finished the Marketing Department’s files. “You’re here early. When did you come?” Your mother set her bag on her desk.

“5,” you said, grabbing the files leaving the office.

You stood alone in the elevator, employees coming and going. On the 5th floor, Chaeyoung stood wide-eyed as the doors opened to the sight of you. She bowed and quickly came in, standing a few feet from you, you saw how she tightly held onto the files in her hands. You figured she had to drop some paperwork off at another apartment, but your assumptions stood true, Chaeyoung’s eyes were swollen, bags shadowed beneath her eyes. She looked like she hadn’t slept in days, even though you saw her yesterday.

The two of you stood silent until the 4th floor was met, you nodded to her and left for the Marketing Department. On your stroll there, you could hear whispers occurring as you passed by. The Marketing Department was notorious for gossiping, they knew many of the present trends and updated buzz. Usually, they spoke about you, but a familiar name was called and you slightly stiffened.

“Did you see the pictures of Jaehyun at the after-party?” one of them said.

“No, show me!” another begged.

“They’re blurry, but isn’t he handsome???” the girl gawked.

“Who’s that girl he’s carrying?” another asked, frustration glazing her question.

“I’m not sure, but I’ll figure it out. I always do,” the girl chuckled.

Your eyes widened as you realized that girl they were referring to was you. You quicken your strides to the head office, you quickly drop it off to make your way back to your office, avoiding the girls. You panted as you fell into your chair, you weren’t aware that you were holding your breath through all of that.

“Are you okay?” Your mother noticed your thwarted expression.

“Yeah,” you sighed, getting back to work.

As you worked on your files, you lost track of time as your focus was solely on completing them. Your mind was distracted the second your secretary stood in front of your desk.

“Can I help you?” You asked, your focus not leaving the papers in front of you.

“Ms. y/l/n, someone is here for you.” She said.

“Unless they have an appointment, I don’t have time to talk.”

“M-Ms. y/l/n,” your secretary hesitated, “it’s Mr. Jung.”

You sighed, looking at the clock. You hadn’t realized it was already noon. Why is Jaehyun here? “Let him in.”

Your gaze avoided the door to your office, you didn’t want him to think you were waiting for him. When Jaehyun walked in, he was dressed in a dark grey suit, his tie well done, his hair slicked back, he looked rather composed, unlike last night.

“Hi, I hope you’re not too busy,” Jaehyun walked up to your desk, you could smell the cologne he always wore. It held a clean, wood, and rich scent like it was made solely for him.

“Just a little bit, is everything okay?” You quietly asked.

“Yeah,” he sat down in one of the seats in front of you, “I was wondering if you have time for lunch.” He enjoyed the moment last night as you two ate, so he wanted to have lunch with you today.

Oh...Your eyes slightly widen, you didn’t know if you were excited or surprised. “I have time,” you nodded.

“Great, I don’t know what you like so I just brought some kimbap that I made,” Jaehyun’s lips pressed together.

“That’s okay, I like it.” You reached to grab one and popped it in your mouth.

Before you could grab another, your mother marched in, “Honey, I’m ba-OH! Mr. Jung, I wasn’t aware you were coming. I’ll leave you two be.” she quickly ran out.

“No, mother it’s okay!” You begged, anticipating the awkward tension between you two, but she was quick to leave. “Sorry about that,” you commented, lowering back into your seat.

“That’s okay,” Jaehyun chuckled, you saw those dimples and his whiskers again, it sent jitters to your spine. “What are you working on?” he nodded at the papers in front of you.

“Um-” you looked at your files, “-just approving the departments’ files. We’re coming out with a new Spring-Summer collection, so they need my approval for several things.”

“That’s a lot. When do they need it?”

“By the end of the week, I usually finish by Thursday but it looks like I’m going to have to bring some home so I can just finish on time,” your smile fell when you realized who was standing at the door.

Jaehyun picked up on your expression and turned around in his seat, “Ch-Chaeyoung.”

It felt as if time had slowed down, the three of you stood still in your places. None of you said a word and let the unsettling feeling resonate in each other’s bones. The silence blanketed the room and brought tension between everyone.

You held your breath before speaking up, “What is it Chaeyoung?” you asked.

“Your secretary wasn’t at her desk and I needed to drop these off as soon as possible, they need your approval.” She walked towards your desk and gently set them on your desk.

You thank her as she bows and leaves, Jaehyun’s gaze never leaving her figure. You felt your stomach lightly drop, was it the kimbap? Or were you flustered, hot, and maybe a little jealous? Nope.

You cleared your throat, earning Jaehyun’s attention, “I’m full and I have a lot to do, so I’ll see you at home.” you said, this was a way of forcing him out of your office.

“Y/n,” Jaehyun’s head fell to the side.

“I don’t want to know Jaehyun. Whatever you have with her is your issue,” you opened the doors to your office, “please leave.” you did your best at keeping your composure together.

“Y/n, I ended things with her.” Jaehyun’s palms fell in front of you in reason.

“Please, Jaehyun,” you gulped, “go.”

#nct jaehyun #jaehyun angst #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun series #jaehyun au #jung jaehyun au #jaehyun scenarios #nct imagines #nct127 imagines #nct 127 au #jaehyun nct au #jaehyun #nct au #jung jaehyun scenarios

634 notes · View notes

purrincess-chat · 4 years ago

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Cat’s Not-All-Encompassing Character Ranking

Okay, so I have to admit that I omitted a lot of characters I don't have strong opinions on. Most of them were one-off akumas, so don't get your panties in a twist, your faves are probably still on here (and ranked lower than you think).

As a preface again, these are just my personal opinions. They can't hurt you. You can still like characters more or less than me. And I don't care how you feel about them. This list is for me. And the person that asked for it. So shut up. Go make your own rank list if you’re so butthurt.

We're going in reverse order this time, starting from the bottom:

84. Gabriel Agreste- I mean, is anyone surprised? I am not private about how I think Gabriel should go to jail. Or fall off a cliff. Or be erased from existence. Rip to those that like him, but I’m different.

83. Thomas Astruc- Honestly, he’s down here on principle. Self-inserts are generally a no-no, and I just laugh every time I see him on screen because he really put himself in this show and said boohoo no one appreciates me XD

82. Bob Roth- I feel like this one should also be obvious. He’s just a dick. Terrible human. I give him 0 stars.

81. Tomoe Tsurugi- We all collectively hate her, right? It’s not just me?

80. Su Han- This mans has small peepee energy. And he bad mouthed Fu, so get FUCKED, my dude.

79. Rolland Dupain- Listen, I get it, he liked Marinette in the end, but I could do without the racism.

78. Nathalie Sancoeur- My opinion of Nathalie took a nosedive after the s2 finale. I just do not care that she is in love with her boss. Don’t care that she’s dying. Just do not have it in me.

77. XY- Justin Bieber ass wannabe.

76. Nora Cesiare- I didn’t care for Nora. I know Thomas loves her, but the overbearing sibling trope is tired.

75. Anarka Couffaine- I underestimated how much I don’t really like her. Like, it’s not full-on hate, but I just do not care for her.

74. Otis Cesaire- Got akumatized because a kid said he could outrun a panther. I’m still not over it, Otis.

73. Andre Bourgeois- No love for the crooked mayor. I hope your wife divorces you.

72. Alec Cataldi- The real villain of Stormy Weather. Like fr why is he such an asshole?

71. Roger Raincomprix- Is Officer Roger just doing his best? Sometimes. But like sometimes this mans just needs to take a chill pill.

70. M. D'Argencourt- Please get out of the 1600s

69. Ella/Etta- These two are basically the same character, and I am indifferent to both of them.

68. KnightOwl/Barbara- Listen, I would have liked you more if you were less controlling.

67. Majestia- Same as above, but like I guess I like you more

66. Theo- *Mean Girls principal voice* Stay away from underaged girls!

65. Andre the ice cream man- I just want a scoop of chocolate, Andre. Is that too much to ask??

64. Amelie Graham de Vanily- We haven’t seen much of her, but she seems like a snake bitch.

63. M. Kubdel- I mean, if my son wanted to resurrect an ancient mummy and believed in aliens, I’d give the family heirloom to my daughter too.

62. Jalil Kubdel- Lolol, buddy, pal, dude, my guy. Chill.

61. Vincent (Adrien's photographer)- Head empty. Mom’s spaghetti. Idk he’s alright.

60. Manon- I don’t hate Manon. She just gets on my nerves every time she talks.

59. M. Ramier- This mans got akumatized a billion times because he gets emotional about pigeons. I mean, honestly mood.

58. Mme. Mendeleiev- She doesn’t put up with Chloe’s shit, and we respect her for this.

57. Baby August- Someone just give this mans some food. He’s a growing boy.

56. Santa Claus- If I were Santa, I too would list Ladybug as the best kid in the world.

55. Art Teacher- He doesn’t even have a name, but I vibe with him. He seems like he likes to paint scenes of nature with his pet squirrels.

54. Prince Ali- Lil mans just wanted to have a good time. I can respect that.

53. Duusu- Duusu, I get that your Miraculous was broken, but get with the program, girl. You is a hostage.

52. Other Kwamis- Idk, all the ones we haven’t seen as much. I don’t have real opinions on them yet. Just neutral.

51. Sass- He gives me dad vibes.

50. M. Damocles- You go, you funky owl man

49. Jean (Chloe's Butler)- He deserves a raise. What is your name, sir? We may never know.

48. Mireille Caquet- She’s pretty cute. No complaints.

47. Aurore Beaureal- Baby’s first akuma. I love her design. She’s a cutie.

46. Claudie Kante (Max’s mom)- This womans just wanted to go to space and live her dream. We stan a hardworking queen.

45. Hot Dog Dan- I like him more than Andre the ice cream fraud. Sure, my hotdog might turn me purple, but if I ask for chili on it, I bet he’d oblige.

44. Nadja Chamack- I mean, she’s doing her best.

43. Audrey Bourgeois- So, as I said in the episode ranking, I have a love-hate relationship with Audrey. She’s the worst, but that’s why I love her. I love her ironically. Like, yeah she’s atrocious, but I just want to watch her burn the world.

42. Luka Couffaine- Directly in the middle, like he’s always been.

41. Nathaniel Kurtzberg- My opinion of Nath improved after Reverser surprisingly. I ship it.

40. Chris Lahiffe- I like Chris better than Ella/Etta. He’s just a little mans out here living life wanting to grow up. Don’t believe it, Chris. Stay little forever. Being an adult suuuuucks.

39. Fang the Crocodile- The goodest boy.

38. Nooroo- I just want to give him a hug.

37. Mlle. Bustier- She’s doing her best, but I mean, when ya whole class keeps getting turned into supervillains, I’m surprised she’s not an alcoholic.

36. Penny Rolling- I just like her. I think she’s neat.

35. Ondine- Mermaid queen! She’s so sweet, and I love her with Kim. I hope we see more of her in the future.

34. Marc Anciel- Marc is a little cutie bean. Idc if he’s based off one of Thomas’s irl friends. He can stay.

33. Wayzz- He loves Master Fu so much I cry.

32. Felix Graham de Vanily- I know everyone hates canon Felix, but tbh he exudes massive chaotic neutral gremlin energy, and I actually kinda vibe with that. And he pisses with his uncle which is a whole ass mood.

31. Tikki- Tikki is very cute, but bby please work on the preaching. You don’t always know what’s right, babe.

30. Sabrina Raincomprix- Sabrina deserves better. I hope we see good things happen for her.

29. Lila Rossi- Surprised? I actually like Lila. The first fic I ever wrote for this fandom was a Lila redemption. I think she is a good antagonist and foil to Marinette. I absolutely want to see her get dunked on in canon, but that doesn’t mean I hate her.

28. Wayhem- I don’t know why, but Wayhem makes me laugh. I love him XD

27. Uncle Cheng- He’s just a good mans with a birb who wants to make you tasty food. What’s not to like?

26. Trixx- Trixx shot up after GoS. Chaotic bean make Eiffel Tower go bendy

25. Jess- She’s pretty cool. She’s a vibe.

24. Aeon- The cutest bean!!! She saw Adrien and Marinette and said yep. Those two are meant to be together. Jess, we gotta make it happen.

23. Ivan Bruel- Ivan is such a gentle bean. We love him.

22. Mylene Haprele- Smol

21. Fei Wu- I still have not watched the Shanghai special with subs, but I liked her.

20. Gina Dupain- The grandma I aspire to be.

19. Marianne Lenoir- I love her. She is good. She and Fu are so cute. And she seems like she would have kicked le ass back in the day. (and even now)

18. Rose Lavillant- I am so excited for Pigella!! Rose is too cute. We love her.

17. Gorilla- aka Adrien’s real dad. If the series doesn’t end with Gabriel getting yeeted into the stratosphere and Gorilla adopting Adrien, I don’t want it.

16. Clara Nightingale- She’s in love with Marinette. You can’t change my mind. 16 is also how old I hc her to be, so don’t nobody come for me.

15. Tom Dupain- Most. Supportive. Dad. Soft bean. Just wants to make you fresh bread.

14. Sabine Cheng- Good mom vibes. We love to see her.

13. Juleka Couffaine- Shy goth bean. Just wants to have her picture taken. Definitely a lesbian. We stan.

12. Nino Lahiffe- The goodest boy. He’s just out here doing his best, loving his friends.

11. Chloe Bourgeois- Chloe is another one I have a love-hate relationship with. Her brattiness is funny to me. We had high hopes for her. Honestly, she ranks this high because I like to play with her in fic.

10. Max Kante- He smol and smort. And I adore his friendship with Kim and the fact that he made an AI himself at 14. What a legend.

9. Alya Cesaire- Rip to Alya salters, but I’m different. Outside of Chameleon, Alya is fine. She’s a supportive bff. All yall people that are mad she doesn’t kiss Marinette’s ass all the time need to go out and make real friends. I said what I said.

8. Alix Kubdel- I love Alix. I love how she is always so done with all the lovey-dovey bullshit. She is tiny queen, and Bunnix, while OP af, is still super cool. We love to see her.

7. Kagami Tsurugi- I will fight anyone who shits on Kagami. She has done nothing wrong, you guys are just haters. All she did was exist, and yall said, wow what a toxic bitch?? Disgraceful.

6. Jagged Stone- We are going to ignore the deadbeat dad trope that canon thrust upon him. He is a Marinette stan, and we love that.

5. Kim Le Chien- I really love Kim, you guys. Does that surprise you? Listen, my favorite male character types are sweet beans and himbos. Kim is both of these.

4. Master Fu- If you didn’t pick up on how much I love Fu from the episodes ranking, then idk what to tell you. I want him to be my grandpa. I would trust this mans with my life. He did his best. You paint those pictures, you funky little man. I love you.

3. Plagg- My galaxy trash man. Love him. 10/10 chefs kisses all around.

2. Adrien Agreste- The biggest Marinette stan there is. I just want him to kiss her on the face. And marry her. Idk, I just think that would be neat if he could do that. I just want good things for them.

1. Marinette Dupain-Cheng- Honestly, are you surprised? I have always been and always will be a Marinette stan. If you expected anyone else to be in this spot, then clown suit rentals are off to the left.

#cat speaks #cat spoils #character ranking #okay fr tho dont ever ask me for anything ever again #take your complaints to your dashboard button and off my blog #idc if you dont like my ranks #theyre not for you #heck off

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v-hope · 5 years ago

Text

His fans love you

Pairings: OT7 x Reader

Genre: Fluff, is it even surprising anymore. Mayyyyybe a lil bit of crack?

Request: “Alright alright hear me out. Everyone knows the typical "angst / breaking up because of hate" fics. But what about a reaction where you and your relationship is actually really supported and well-liked by fans? Like you get your own memes and fan accounts and stuff? Just pure crack material right here 💥”

A/N: This was such a nice change tbh, so thank you so much for requesting it! It also reminded me I still haven’t made a second part for the break up reaction regarding this same topic lmao. I hope you guys like it 💞

Kim Seokjin

“What’s so funny?” you peeked your head inside the living room when you could no longer ignore your boyfriend’s signature windshield laugh.

Snapping his head in your direction, he smiled wholeheartedly, motioning with three pats to the spot next to him on the couch for you to go sit next to him.

“My fans are the best” he voiced out as you obeyed, taking a seat by his side.

“What’d they do?” you asked with a smile — his own being way too contagious to fight it.

“There’s this contest for the most attractive idol couple going on and they made sure we made it to the list”.

“But I’m not an idol?” your previous smile was replaced with a confused frown.

One that only grew more prominent when he amusedly threw his arms up and exclaimed:

“Yet we still won!”

With that said, Jin threw his head back to let a throaty laugh that sounded just like victory escape his mouth.

On your end, still being too stunned and not really believing his words, you snatched his phone away from him — seeing right then with your own two eyes that the both of you had indeed won such title.

“Is that even allowed?” you worried.

“Who cares” he shrugged, taking his phone back in his hands to excitedly check it one more time — eyes glowing at the sight of the number one right next to your ship’s name. “Ah, our power” a pleased sigh came out of his mouth, resting his head on your shoulder, “I love it”.

And well, not to be smug or anything but, in all honesty, so did you.

Min Yoongi

“How’d the fansign go?” you wondered after having opened the door to your place for your boyfriend, allowing him to press a chaste kiss to your lips before he made his way to your kitchen.

“It was good” he kept it simple, going to grab a glass of water. “A lot of people asked me about you”.

Well, that sure did catch your attention. “They did?”

Yoongi nodded his head. “Some of them even asked me to do a Vlive with you, but I’m pretty sure they only said that so they could see you”.

You couldn’t help but let out a little laugh at both his statement and the bitter tone he had said it with; later taking a few steps towards him. “Maybe I should do a live by myself”.

“Pft, please” he laughed tauntingly, putting the glass down on the table, “you wouldn’t even know what to talk about”.

“Oh, I already know what I’d name it”.

“Please enlighten me” Yoongi said with the same previous tone and a teasing smirk.

A smirk that was instantly mirrored by you before you said: “Spilling Yoongi’s most embarrassing moments”.

That was all it took for his smug smile to be erased.

“You wouldn’t”.

“Oh, I would” you affirmed, “starting with the time we went to that music shop you—”

“Yah” he cut you off in a scolding tone, yet the pink colour covering his cheeks let you know how embarrassed he was at the mere memory. “Now I get why my fans like your evil ass so much”.

And although he knew you would never actually do such thing to him, maybe he could comply to those people’s wishes and do a cheesy couple Vlive with you… you know, just to be safe you wouldn’t drag him too much.

Jung Hoseok

Being an idol’s girlfriend, you knew you wouldn’t really get full privacy whenever you decided to go out, and you had already managed to deal with that.

That’s why, when Hobi and you were walking around the streets during a date night and a couple of fans approached the two of you asking for pictures, you squeezed his hand to let him know it was alright for him to accept.

Getting an apologetic glance from your boyfriend, you smiled sweetly, moving aside so that they could all have their pictures — that being the exact moment one particular girl called your name.

“Wait, no” she put her phone down when you stared at her, “I um, actually wanted a picture with the two of you…” at that, your heart jumped and Hobi smiled the brightest, “is that possible?”

“Of course it is!” Hoseok confirmed with no hesitation.

Letting out a blissful giggle, he wasted no time in grabbing your hand to pull you towards his body like it was all too familiar by now.

And after taking more than one picture, since the rest of the people present also wanted a picture with the two of you, and, even more, after getting complimented on your beautiful relationship, Hoseok wrapped his arm securely over your shoulders as you resumed on your walking.

“You have now become my designated picture buddy whenever someone wants to take one with me” he giddily spoke after a while.

You shook your head in amusement, staring fondly at him. “Don’t expect everyone to like me, Hoseok”.

“I don’t” he confessed, pulling you even closer and pressing a tender kiss to your temple, “but I will take every single chance I get to have more pictures of your beautiful face”.

And as the time went on and more people started asking for pictures of the two of you and you would find your boyfriend gushing over them whenever he found them on Twitter, you knew he had truly meant it.

Kim Namjoon

“Oh my God”.

After hearing what was a mixture in between a groan and a whine come out of your boyfriend’s lips, you put your phone down, placing your eyes on his tall figure lying down on the other end of the bed.

“Something wrong?” you wondered.

Namjoon shook his head, putting his phone down as well before his eyes fixed on yours — not even a second later crawling to go lay down next to you.

“My fans are saying we are, and I quote: the clumsiest, most adorable couple there is”.

Now, the clumsy bit was no news at all, yet you still found yourself defensively saying: “I am not clumsy”.

“You sure?” he taunted you; a smirk beginning to take over his face. “Because they started this thing to keep track on every single dumb thing we’ve done and see who’s the clumsiest—”

Oh.

“—and it’s almost a tie”.

You rested your weight on your elbows, lifting your body slightly up from the mattress so you could take a better look at him.

“And who’s winning?” your voice came out uncertain.

All it took for you to know the answer was watching the way his head hung low.

Nevertheless, a triumphant smile curved up your lips when Joon confirmed through gritted teeth: “Me”.

With that, you let your head fall back down on the pillow, feeling your body relax as you sighed in content.

“I love your fans”.

And they loved you. Totally a win-win situation.

Park Jimin

Your eyes remained focused on the multiple papers scattered around Jimin’s bed, studying in absolute silence as you kept him company while he chatted with his fans on Vlive — smiling from time to time at certain things he would say or just the sound of his laugh.

He had answered a couple of questions regarding either you or your relationship, for he absolutely loved gushing about you, and you were actually pretty alright with that; even with him informing his wide audience about you being right behind him studying for one of your tests.

What you were most certainly not expecting, however, was for your boyfriend to turn around in the middle of his live and call for you to come over.

You shook your head no immediately, silently motioning to your books as an excuse not to go.

“Please, baby” he pouted, being too focused on you to notice the madness his pet name for you had just unleashed in the comments. “They want the two of us”.

And, you see, saying no to that cute little pout taking over his pretty plump was not really an option to you.

So, falling for it, you stood up from his bed and made your way over to him, feeling the heat reach your face when he gently grabbed your wrist and pulled you down on his lap, later wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his chin on your shoulder as you awkwardly waved into the camera.

Yes, maybe you had yet to get used to being so constantly put under the public eye, but, in all honesty, if you were getting all this attention nevertheless, you were grateful it was the good kind of it.

And Jimin? God, he was thriving to show you off to the entire world.

Kim Taehyung

“Can you believe people think I’m breaking up with you?”

Your heart jumped at your boyfriend’s sudden comment, feeling it drop for a second there before your eyes caught his — that being the only confirmation you needed to know he was indeed not breaking up with you.

“W-what?”

“Yeah” Taehyung snorted, moving closer to you on your bed and showing you his phone, “this delusional magazine made an article about me apparently wanting to break up with you” he explained, focusing back on his mobile and not being able to contain a giggle when he later added: “And we’re trending topic now on Twitter and my fans have started this petition for us not to split up”.

“They what now?” you asked again, this time feeling a smile of your own take over your factions.

“Yeah, see?” he practically shoved his phone in your face after having searched for the page. “So many people have signed it, it’s insane”.

A chuckle left your mouth as you shook your head in amusement; as if that would save your relationship if that was the case.

“I’m signing it” he stated before you could even speak up your mind, already starting to type on his phone.

You couldn’t stop a throaty laugh to escape your mouth as you threw your head back, biting down on your lower lip to help you stop it.

“Or you could just, you know…” you drew his attention, “not break up with me”.

Tae smiled sweetly — his eyes softening right before he leaned in to press a tender kiss to your lips. “I would never even dream of it”.

Jeon Jeongguk

“Jeongguk, are you… are you crying?” you worried as soon as you found him lying down on his bed with his eyes fixed to his phone as a couple of tears made their way down his cheeks.

Rushing to his side, you slumped down next to him, making him take his attention away from his mobile by gently yet securely cupping his face.

“What happened?” you softly wiped his tears.

“Nothing bad” he reassured you, allowing your heart to feel more at ease. “I just… there was this video linked to me…”

You waited a few seconds for him to go on, yet the only thing you got from him were his cheeks turning slightly red — biting down on his lower lip as he was clearly ashamed of the reason he had been crying for.

“Okay… so…” you tried to get something else out of him.

Jeongguk sighed, knowing well enough you would not let this go.

“It was a fanmade video about us” he finally explained, causing your heart to jump, “it was like, a compilation of cute moments of us and this stupid love song was playing in the background and the editing was just so beautiful and I—”

He shrugged, staring down as he did not really know how to end his small ramble.

You laughed under your breath out of pure affection, pressing a kiss to the tip of his red nose.

“Will you let me watch it so we can cry together now?”

Funny how you had said that to mock him, yet ten seconds into the video and with Guk’s body comfortably resting on top of yours as you watched it together, you were already crying, too.

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ofmythsandmadness · 4 years ago

Text

MY THOUGHTS ON TUA SEASON TWO: PART ONE (spoilers)

So...I finished season two. And I’ve got a lot of thoughts.

I’m putting ALL my thoughts under the tab so please, don’t click unless you’ve seen it all, and/or you just....like don’t care about spoilers? But please if you’ve not watched it, watch it first ‘cause it deserves all the hype and attention.

(if you haven’t watched yet, go into your settings and blacklist the tag ‘tua spoilers’ because that’ll help you avoid anything if you don’t want to be spoiled, at least on here)

Also, this is part one to my thoughts, because it’d be much too long to list it all here! Part two will be linked below this :)

This is going to be SO badly organized, but I’m gonna do my best to make it otherwise! I’m separating it all under sub-headers, just so you don’t have to read through ALL my thoughts on the series (but there’s a lot, sorry).

I legit just watched it all last night, so it’s fresh but also still jumbled and messy. So bear with me.

Also, let me know what you thought, I’m eager to hear others’ opinions of this show!

AS A WHOLE... So, so, SO damn good. I was scared, and worried and I thought there was gonna be a lot more pain...but it was so good. Arguably better than the first season, I think because the characters are fleshed out and have developed more, and I felt myself caring more for their wellbeings (even though I would have already died for most of them).

Honestly, no. This season WAs better than the first and I’m gonna stick with that.

I also really loved the colour scheme of it all?? I think they did that really well the first season too, but the colour choices and how they alternated between blue and orange, it keeps your attention and adds a vibrance to the characters that was there before but not so loudly.

I want to watch it again and admire how they shot/edited it too, because I actually really was impressed with the shots too (normally Netflix shows aren’t super cinematography-heavy, don’t know if that’s how to say that, but TUA really came through and I’m impressed). I don’t want to drone on about that because i know most don’t care about that as much, so I’ll leave it at just...I was impressed, and most happy with the overall presentation of the show.

LUTHER HARGREEVES...

The way i actually now love him??

I mean I felt bad for him in S1, but here he’s an actual character and I cared about HIM, rather than what he had gone through. From the moment he said ‘I don’t give a shit’ in episode one, I liked him again and I’m SO glad.

I didn’t really love how he still pushed for him and Allison...I mean, I understand that you can’t just erase the feelings, they still stand, but I would have liked a little bit less of it. It’s just awkward to watch and to contrast with Klaus literally calling them out, I appreciate that it wasn’t so prevalent but it was still there.

But overall!! He became a character I actually really liked, he was actually funny too?? Dorky too, and also just more sure of who he was as a person rather than the number...Luther rights.

DIEGO HARGREEVES...

One word: BIIIITCH.

He was one of my favourites from the show pre-S2, and now I can say he might just be my favourite. I would fight fire for that man.

I didn’t think he’d be almost the main character of this show (obviously one of them, because they’re all main characters ig) but I liked it a lot! We really got nothing about who he is as a person in Season One, and though a lot of people were able to fill in the emotional blanks, there was a lot more given to his character and who he is beneath the hard-headed vigilante.

I think David Casteneda did a brilliant job on his character, and had one of the best performances out of all of them. I knew he was good, but I truly was shocked at how good he did as Diego, and I’m happy to see him as an actor thrive and get more credit. He deserves it, and I’m quite happy.

Surprisingly, he was the character to make me cry (I cried at Ben too, don’t worry, but!). When Reginald said that shit to him, I was in fucking pain. I won’t get too deep into it, but just the way his face dropped, and then the stutter - it struck a cord and I cried more at that then I did the rest of the show. Dunno. Maybe that’s just me.

But just like...I wish he had more support...everyone just kept calling him dumb and mocking him and I KNOW his obsession with JFK was dumb and aligned with the Luther moon thing and he didn’t have the greatest plans and I’m not saying all of his actions were right, but he was fucking TRYING. And some of it, they played it off for comedic effect but they were literally just trashing on him for doing the right thing and making him look stupid...it made me a little sad.

I am glad, however, at how he rekindled with all his siblings. Because arguably, Diego was an asshole to all of them and though again, arguably they all were and none of them are doing well and there are reasons - they were all assholes to each other, and especially him to them, especially Vanya when she really didn’t deserve it. And to see them at least begin to mend their relationship made me so happy. The way that in the end, they sat together?? And how he accepted her apology just like that?? I sob.

The scene where diego just says ‘there’s this girl I like - I CRACKED UP AND I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY IT’S SO FUNNY BUT JFC THAT WAS SO FUNNY. That and threatening Olga - top tier funniest moments of the season for me. They really amped up the comedy this season and I’m happy.

One thing I didn’t get was in the last episode, when he bent the bullets’ trajectory for Five...did he know he could do that? Like I understand that he could do it, but we never saw him do anything else around those lines, aside from in the doomsday season ep1, but that was an alternate history so...I’m guessing Reginald taught him, but??? It was kinda random and I would have liked if they hinted at it at least once before.

To summarize, I love him. I love how far he’s come and I hope he just finds some happiness because he keeps getting the short end of the stick. He deserves the world.

(also, diego hargreeves a huge ass nerd. y’all can’t convince me otherwise. big dork energy)

LILA PITTS/DIEGO & LILA:

You know what? I loved her.

I didn’t like her character as much post maybe episode 6/7, basically once she brought Diego in I was disappointed but I liked her character. I think she was cool and different and chaotic and though I was disappointed that towards the end, she felt a bit thrown in, I still appreciated who she was. I was honestly hoping that she would have left the Handler a lot sooner, I thought they were gonna make her realise the truth a lot sooner but at the same time...this is her maternal figure, she’s been basically brainwashed into that support and there’s gonna be an element of love regardless.

I knew she was gonna be one of the 43 though, the second I saw 1993 I called it and I was happy I was actually right on something. Idk her powers, that too seems a lil bit messy but still, I thought it was neat. I just want to see more! And I think we will, hence why I’m trying not to judge her much, but i hope that we get to know more about her. I don’t want a half-baked love interest, and I was hoping that there was going to be a little bit more this season - but we shall see.

(ritu arya, though, is quite good in her role. and stunning. i quite love her)

I also didn’t HATE the relationship between her and Diego. I know it’s a divided topic but I liked it, I thought they were fucking cute and even though i KNEW there was something off about her, I was just HOPING that it’d be different. I mean, that scene on the bed with them???? I think my heart gave out. Palpitations, bitch. I was so fucking soft for them and even when she was exposed....I stillllllllll wanted the best. :(

And then like shit happened and then it got a little messy (y’all should learn how to communicate...throwing out boyfriend and ex-girlfriend terms like that???) and like yada yada, I was okay but I don’t necessarily like the ‘I love him/her’ thing. I mean sure you can, but THAT felt a little quick. I don’t know why tv shows just LOVE to throw out the I love you’s that FAST, but I’m not into it.

TL;DR - I still REALLY like Lila Pitts, and I still like them together, somewhat (though like maybe slow your asses down folks).

(question though...are we supposed to think of them as siblings now?? bc...idk I don’t see it like luther/allison because they weren’t raised together and really didn’t associate like that?? but are they all reginald’s alien children cause in THAT case wtf am I suppose to think help-)

PART TWO TO MY THOUGHTS: here.

#tua #tua spoilers #the umbrella academy #diego hargreeves #luther hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #ben hargreeves #five hargreeves #lila pitts #DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED SEASON TWO #umbrella academy spoilers #tua s2 spoilers #tua season two

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agerefandom · 5 years ago

Text

To The Moon And Back

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Characters: Roman & Logan

Words: 1,300

Prompt: Character A need a hug very badly, but doesn’t know how to ask Character B for one. (featuring regressor!Logan and caregiver!Roman, in an established platonic dynamic that is mentioned to include the other Sides)

Warnings: Brief loneliness, lots of tears, all solved!

Roman was the best caregiver.

Logan would never tell the others, of course, but it was true. Patton’s saccharine affection was nice, but Logan always felt a little bit smothered after a few hours in his arms. And Virgil never let him do anything fun. But Roman knew that he could handle it.

Roman had a lot of fun as a caregiver, creating new adventures in his Realm for the other Sides to explore when they were regressed. He would pull together their favourite stories, characters, and newest obsessions into a big wide world for them to run around, conquer, or study. Today, in Logan’s opinion, he had outdone himself.

Logan was currently in space, two red shiny rocket boots strapped to his feet, drifting around a landscape of planets and stars. They were wildly inaccurate, of course, but that was part of the fun. Logan could fix them as he went along, nudging the planets into order and twisting them into the proper size. Sometimes, he couldn’t remember the exact proportions, and he had to summon one of his space books to read the page about the planet in front of him. It was fun to relearn the things he’d forgotten, and then use the new information to fix the world that Roman had given him.

It was a lot of fun, and whenever Logan got tired, he would just let himself drift through the (unrealistically breathable) void of space, his body weightless and the stars glowing all around him.

He kind of wished that Roman had stuck around to watch him put all the planets in order, but Roman was busy today and it was already so nice that he’d taken the time to make this universe for Logan to play in. Logan could feel Roman’s affection for him in every ring on Saturn, every incorrect constellation just close enough for it to be recognizable.

But the problem was that Roman’s simultaneous presence and absence in the space around Logan was starting to really make Logan miss him. He was in Roman’s Realm, which meant that no matter where he went, he was surrounded by the same creative energy that created Roman himself. It didn’t really make sense to miss Roman here, but the empty black spaces between stars and the spinning planets weren’t really the same as Roman’s solid body and his flashing smile and the feeling of his sword-calloused hands.

Logan frowned to himself, wrapping his arms around his chest and squeezing tightly. The space adventure had been fun, but the universe was beginning to feel far too big without someone here with him.

“May I have a door please?” he asked the room around him, and the outline of a door with a shining doorknob immediately appeared on one of the closest planets.

With a flare of his rocket boots, Logan was in front of the door and able to pull it open, stepping into the chaos of Roman’s bedroom, with books and chess pieces and costumes scattered across the floor.

“Logan! You’re back already, are you hungry?” Roman turned from his desk as soon as Logan entered, a quill in his hand and ink smeared across one cheek.

Logan shook his head wordlessly, pushing his hands into his pockets so that he wouldn’t wrap his arms around himself. Roman would definitely know that something was wrong if he did that.

“What’s wrong?” Roman asked, pushing his chair away from the desk to turn his full attention to Logan. He looked concerned.

Logan had forgotten that he couldn’t hide anything from his big friends when he was regressed. He frowned down at the floor, trying to figure out what to tell Roman. That he missed him? Even though Roman was right here in front of him? Logan just wanted him closer.

“Logan? Are you okay?” Roman hovered several steps away, obviously trying to give Logan his space. “Can I touch you?”

Logan nodded, and Roman stepped forwards to put a hand on his shoulder. It was a warm weight that Logan wanted to lean into, wanted to step forwards and wrap his arms around Roman’s chest, but he resisted. He kept his eyes on the floor and felt his throat get tight with the tears that were trying to start. Logan hated crying, and he knew that if he looked up at Roman now, he would sob for a long time.

“Did something happen?” Roman asked him gently, and Logan shook his head. The movement displaced Roman’s hand from his shoulder, and Roman took his hand away. The loss of contact made the tears finally spill over onto Logan’s cheeks. “Are you hurt?” Logan managed to shake his head again. No, he wasn’t hurt, he didn’t even know what was wrong. “Do you want me to get one of the others?” Logan shook his head more frantically. Neither Patton nor Virgil was good with other people crying, always becoming fluttery and over-cautious. It made Logan feel bad for worrying them.

“Okay.” Roman’s voice was soft. Logan glanced up at him and regretted it. Roman looked extremely worried. “Is there anything that I can do?”

Logan nodded, and then shook his head, shrugged his shoulders, and risked another look at Roman.

Roman was stifling a smile that didn’t manage to erase the concern in his face.

“You don’t know what you need, lil’ Lo?”

Logan nodded, wiping his nose with his sleeve. He wished that words would come, but they were gone, and he couldn’t get them back.

“Okay. Do you want a hug?”

The question broke something inside of Logan’s chest, and suddenly he was crying properly, his breaths stumbling over each other, tears flowing freely down his face. He managed to nod twice before Roman’s arms were around him, pressing Logan against his chest.

The hug was fierce and full of certainty, just like Roman, and Logan cried harder into his shoulder, wrapping his arms around Roman and holding on tight. Roman’s arms didn’t loosen: he held on with the same amount of loving force until Logan’s tears finally stopped. Logan found himself sagging against Roman’s chest, his forehead resting on his shoulder, utterly exhausted from the crying fit.

“There you go.” One of Roman’s hands started to rub in firm circles over Logan’s back. “Let’s lie down for a little bit, okay? You let me know if you need some space.” Logan fisted his hands in Roman’s tunic, holding on tight enough for his knuckles to turn pale. He heard Roman laugh above him. “Alright, no space, that’s good too.”

Roman scooped him up easily, holding Logan close against his chest, cradled in both arms. Logan left his face hidden in Roman’s shoulder, dizzy from crying so much. He felt the rolling motions of Roman taking a few steps, and then the softness of a mattress came from beneath him, Roman crawling into the bed after him so that they never lost contact with each other.

Logan let Roman adjust his position on the bed, pulling him close so that Roman could put one arm under Logan’s head and wrap the other one around his chest. Logan closed his eyes, finally feeling grounded, knowing that Roman wouldn’t let go until Logan wanted him to. Knowing that he would hold Logan here, warm and safe, for the rest of the afternoon if he wanted, and all through the night as well.

With that thought, and Roman humming a quiet lullaby, Logan drifted off to sleep.

#sfw agere #sfw age regression #sanders sides agere #agere fics #fandom agere #nsre #my fics #rpf

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toohardtoforgetcth · 4 years ago

Text

Too Hard To Forget

Chapter Seven

5,491 words

Warnings: just a lil’ fighting and swearing as per uje

A/N: Hi hello pls forgive me for sad boy cal here have some of this enjoy love u all <3

» » » » » »

Calum had been performing regularly three nights a week at The Wildflower for over a month, and despite the fact that he hated waking up to go to work every morning, he looked forward to every other night at the pub. It was his escape, a creative outlet, a place to channel all the frustration and pain, but also all the joy and passion he felt into music and share it with people who supported him. He had gained quite a few new followers, and many of the faces he saw at his shows continued to show up every week to see him play. It was the highest praise he could have asked for.

Calum had been buzzing from a particularly good show after sharing another original with the crowd, and he left with a high coursing through him that he only ever felt after a really good show. He had zoned out when he stepped out the front door, bumping into someone on the sidewalk and almost knocking them over.

“Fuck, sorry,” he mumbled, picking his guitar case up off the ground where he had dropped it. “I—” Calum looked up finally, making eye contact with the girl. Her eyes widened in surprise, stopping dead in front of him. Words had failed him—it had been three months since he’d seen her last, and his heart was doing flips in his chest.

“Calum, hi,” Parker said, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear and shifting awkwardly from one foot to the other. “It’s been a while.”

They were standing close, close enough that Parker could smell his cologne and a flood of memories came rushing back to her. He looked good. He’d gotten a haircut, his hair almost short enough that you could barely tell he had curls. Parker remembered what it was like to run her fingers through it, and she was itching to do it now. Don’t you dare, she told herself.

She watched his eyes scan over her figure, bluntly admiring her and completely unashamed. Her brain was telling her to step back, that she was too close, but the signal didn’t seem to reach her feet, so she stayed rooted in place.

“Yeah,” he breathed. “How’ve you been?” he asked her, leaning to the right to rest his shoulder against the brick wall outside the pub.

“I’m okay,” she answered. Parker wanted to kick herself for telling him the truth. She had been seeing Owen for the past month and things were good, but she still thought about Calum. Every day. She didn’t want him to know that she never stopped thinking about him since the day he left her crying on her front porch. She knew it was wrong—she was with Owen now, and she shouldn’t still be thinking about Calum, but she couldn’t help it. “What about you?” Parker looked down, just noticing his guitar. “What’s with the guitar?”

Calum looked down to his case, then back up to Parker. “Uh, I play here, now. Couple nights a week,” he admitted.

Parker’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “Wow, that’s—good for you,” she smiled, and Calum had almost forgotten how much he’d missed her smile. Not a day went by that he didn’t think about it.

“Yeah,” he mumbled. “Gram and the boys talked me into it,” he chuckled.

Parker smiled. “How are they?”

“Boys are good, Gram’s really good,” he replied, smiling. “She came to a show the other night. I think it was too loud for her, though,” he laughed.

They stood in an awkward silence for a moment, before Parker spoke again. “Well, I should get going,” she trailed off, glancing behind him. “I’m supposed to meet Jenna,” she lied. She wasn’t sure why, but the thought of telling Calum she was going to meet her new boyfriend left a sour taste in her mouth.

“Yeah, okay,” Calum nodded. “See you around.” He picked up his case, moving to step around her and heading in the direction of the parking lot.

When he was a dozen feet away, she turned back to him. “Hey, Cal?” she called out.

He turned, and there was an expression on his face Parker couldn’t quite read. Expectant? Hopeful? She wasn’t sure. She opened her mouth, thought better of what she was about to say, and closed it again. She offered him a close-lipped smile. “It was good to see you again,” she said honestly. God, she missed him.

Calum smiled back. “You too, angel.” He hadn’t meant for the nickname he used to call her to slip out, but it did, and he wasn’t sorry. He watched a blush creep up her cheeks before she turned and walked away, and it gave him a small bit of satisfaction knowing he still had that effect on her.

• • • • • •

That night when Parker met up with Owen, he picked up on her visibly shaken nerves right away.

“Are you okay?” he asked her, concern drawing his brows together.

“Yeah,” she smiled. “I’m fine. Just—had a close call with another car on the road, and I’m still a bit shaken,” she lied easily.

He pulled her into his arms, hugging her tightly. “I’m glad you’re safe,” he murmured into her hair, rubbing her back.

He was so sweet. Thoughtful, caring, selfless. Parker liked Owen. She really did. He just—wasn’t Calum. She wouldn’t have hesitated to fall head over heels for him a few months ago. But things were different now. She couldn’t open her heart to Owen, because it didn’t belong to her—it still belonged to Calum.

» » » » » »

Calum was over at Gram’s for dinner after work, enjoying his favourite meal. Calum didn’t mind cooking for himself, and he wasn’t bad at it, but there was something special about someone else cooking for you. He loved Gram’s cooking, and she loved having someone else other than herself to cook for.

“Guess who I ran into the other night,” Calum mumbled over a mouthful.

“Young man, how old are you?” she chided. “Don’t talk with your mouth full.”

He swallowed, grinning. “Sorry. I said, ‘guess who I ran into the other night’?”

“That’s better,” she nodded. “Who?”

“Parker,” he sighed.

“Oh,” Gram said, surprised. “And?”

“She looks good. She saw me coming out of The Wildflower and I told her about me playing there, but she left in a hurry.” Calum sighed deeply, moving his dinner around the plate with his fork.

“You miss her,” Gram said, though it wasn’t a question.

“Like crazy,” he admitted, meeting her eyes. “I fuc—” he stopped, correcting himself when he noted the disapproving look on Gram’s face. “Sorry. I messed it up,” he said. “She’s too good for me. And I hurt her.”

“Calum Thomas Hood,” Gram scolded, swatting him on the arm. “She is not too good for you. She was lucky to have you. You need to stop being so hard on yourself,” she said softly. “Look at how far you’ve come, and you did it all on your own. You have every right to be happy, too.”

“I still love her, Gram.”

“I know, dear. So why don’t you call her? Doesn’t hurt to try,” she said optimistically.

“Maybe I will.”

• • • • • •

When Calum got home that night, he spent the rest of the night fighting with himself about whether he should call her. Ultimately, he decided a text might be better. He hoped and prayed that she hadn’t changed her number. God knows he almost did, just so he wouldn’t be tempted to answer the phone every time she called him in the days following their breakup. It took everything in him not to pick up. He took a deep breath, and typed out a message:

Good to see you the other night, love. Wanna grab a coffee this week? Catch up?

His finger hovered over the send button, but he hesitated. He didn’t know if he could take being rejected by her if she didn’t feel the same way anymore. He was doing good, far happier than he had been when he was working at Rudy’s. But part of him still doubted that he could make her happy. So he erased the message and lay in bed, lonely, wishing he could wrap his arms around her.

» » » » » »

Parker hadn’t stopped thinking about Calum since the night she ran into him on the street. She looked him up on Instagram, closing out of his profile several times and going back to it after trying and failing to convince herself she shouldn’t be going down this road. His most recent post was from last night, a short black-and-white clip of him playing the piano, with a caption underneath that read:

working on some new music, come and see me at The Wildflower tomorrow at 9 for a sneak peek ;)

Parker checked the time—8:42. Before she could even think about what she was doing, she threw on a beanie and her jacket, hoping that if she stayed towards the back he wouldn’t notice her. She slipped through the doors at 8:56, and Calum was just getting his things set up on the little stage.

Parker made her way to a quiet corner where she could see Calum clearly, but his view of her would be obstructed by the three guys sitting at a table in front of her, which suited her perfectly. A server came to her table and asked if she was ready to order. She hadn’t planned on ordering anything, but the girl had an annoyed look on her face, so Parker ordered a drink to appease her, requesting that she bring the cheque with it so she could pay ahead and slip out quietly as soon as Calum’s set was done.

Parker was at a loss for words when Calum finished his set. She knew he was talented—he had played for her a few times when they were together—but it was like he was born to be up on stage. He had the entire audience’s attention from the beginning to the end, herself included. She almost passed out when he hopped off stage and started walking towards her. She was frozen in place, unable to react. Then he stopped at the table in front of her with the three men that had blocked his view, and sat down. Parker felt like an idiot when she realized that the guys at the table were Ashton, Michael and Luke, and she hadn’t even recognized them. She pulled the beanie down farther on her head and stood as quickly and quietly as she could, slipping around the corner and out the front door before they saw her.

What she didn’t know was that Calum had looked up when she stood, and he caught a flash of blonde hair and unmistakable grey eyes before she disappeared out the front door.

• • • • • •

When Calum was on stage tonight, he thought he had hallucinated when he saw Parker sitting behind the boys. Then, when he saw her leave, he couldn’t help but smirk at her complete failure at attempting to be subtle. He swelled with satisfaction that she had come to see him perform, but he would let her think that she escaped without being seen. For now. He slept easy that night, a small spark of hope ignited in his chest.

» » » » » »

Calum and the boys went out on Saturday night to celebrate John offering him another night a week at The Wildflower and finally making enough money to be able to quit his soul-sucking office job. They had gone for a late dinner and were now waiting in line to get into a club downtown. The bouncer took their IDs and stamped them, waving them in behind him. It took Calum all of seven seconds to spot her on the dancefloor, and his heart dropped in his chest.

There she was, beautiful as ever, dancing up close and personal with some dude, and she seemed to be enjoying it. Jenna was right next to her, dancing with someone, too.

Calum tore his eyes away, his celebratory mood suddenly soured. He wasted no time in heading to the bar, ordering two shots with his beer and downing them one after another. If he was going to enjoy this night, drunk was the only way it was going to happen.

• • • • • •

Calum had loosened up a bit after an hour or so. He was standing with Michael, waiting for Luke and Ashton to return from the bar with their drinks. The boys had been ordering one round of drinks after another, and Calum was feeling buzzed. He glanced over at Parker every so often, and the same guy was still glued to her.

“You’re being creepy, dude,” Michael nudged him in the side. “We can go somewhere else, if you want,” he offered.

Calum shook his head. “I’m fine. We’re here to celebrate,” he grinned, reaching into his jacket pocket and producing a joint. “Come outside with me.”

Michael rolled his eyes but he returned his best friends’ shit-eating grin, following Calum outside onto the patio.

• • • • • •

Calum placed the joint between his lips, pulling his lighter out of his pocket and inhaling deeply as he felt the familiar spark in his lungs. He held it in for a few seconds, exhaling a cloud of smoke before passing it to Michael. He did the same, and they passed it back and forth until there was nothing left but a roach.

“You think she’s with that guy in there?” Michael asked finally, nodding his head towards the door.

Calum leaned his head back against the wall, closing his eyes. “I don’t know, mate. Kinda looks like it.”

“The world works in mysterious ways,” the blonde giggled. “Have patience. Patience comes to—no, good things have patience—fuck! What is it?”

Calum shot his best friend a quizzical look, and the two of them burst into a fit of laughter. Michael hardly ever smoked, and he turned into a blubbering idiot when he did. Calum could always count on Michael to make him laugh, even if it was usually at his expense.

“What I meant was,” Michael tried again after they had calmed down, “don’t give up yet. You’ve been through a lot of shit in your life. I figure eventually things are gonna have to work out for you, fate or destiny or karma or whatever the fuck it is, you know?”

Calum rolled his eyes at Michael’s less than articulate ramblings, but he appreciated the effort.

• • • • • •

Later on, long after Calum and Michael had made their way back inside, Calum caught sight of Parker. She was standing near the hallway leading to the bathrooms, talking to the blonde guy she had been dancing with earlier, her hand clasped in his. Calum watched as he kissed her on the cheek. So they were together, then. Then she smiled, though it seemed a little forced. This gave Calum a tiny bit of satisfaction. The guy dropped her hand as he pulled away and headed in the direction of the bar. Calum looked away, not wanting her to catch him staring—he wasn’t sure if she had noticed him yet.

He stepped outside for a smoke, feeling uneasy. He lit a second one when the first didn’t quite settle his nerves. Halfway through his second cigarette, the heavy metal door to his left opened, letting the loud music and hot air out with it. Calum smiled when a certain grey-eyed girl stepped out onto the patio. Everything happens for a reason. Isn’t that what Michael had said? Close enough.

“Hi, angel,” he spoke in a low voice, head back and eyes fixed ahead of him.

Parker jumped, looking to her right to see Calum leaned up against the wall, cigarette between his lips. “You scared me,” she giggled. Calum noticed right away that she was drunk.

He smirked. “Bit cold for a dress, isn’t it, love?”

She shivered. “Just needed some fresh air.”

“Blondie suffocating you?” he teased, though he had to admit it was really none of his business.

“Something like that,” she admitted. She shuffled closer and turned to him, surprised by her sudden urge to share personal details about her relationship with the man who broke her heart. “His name is Owen, by the way,” she started, but Calum interrupted her.

“No offense,” he replied, taking a drag of his cigarette, “but I don’t care what his name is.”

She shot him a dry look. “Someone’s bitter,” she muttered.

Calum barked out a laugh. “So you two are together, huh?” he asked casually, gesturing between Parker and the door leading back into the bar.

“For a month now, yeah,” she sighed. “I thought you didn’t care,” she challenged him, tilting her head.

“Fine, guilty,” Calum held his hands up in surrender. “I care. He makes you happy?” Calum knew he shouldn’t be asking her this, knew he was making it painfully obvious that he still loved her, but he couldn’t stop his mouth from moving.

“Owen’s nice, yeah,” she breathed, but there was a faraway look in her eyes. Calum knew that look. She wasn’t really happy.

“Saw you at my show the other night,” he said, changing the subject suddenly. So much for letting her believe she snuck out unnoticed.

Parker’s grey eyes went wide, and Calum chuckled. “You’re a lot of things, angel, but sneaky isn’t one of them.”

Her cheeks flushed pink. “Yeah, that was dumb,” she admitted. “You’re re—”

He turned abruptly, twisting his body so he was standing in front of her, hands on the wall behind her and caging her in, cigarette still held between his fingers. He brought his face so close to hers, their noses touched. “You don’t love him.” It was a statement, not a question. His eyes flickered down to her lips. God, how badly he wanted to kiss her again.

Parker shook her head without thinking. It was the truth—she wished she loved Owen, but she knew from the very beginning that she never would.

“Leave him.”

“He’s a really good guy,” she whispered. “I don’t want to hurt him.”

“You’re already hurting him, love.”

“I thought you wanted me to forget you,” she said, so quietly she wasn’t sure if he heard her.

“I lied.”

“I—” she started, but her attention was brought to the door on their left, the heavy metal creaking as it opened. Calum pulled away quickly, resuming his position a few feet away from her and taking another drag from his cigarette to slow his erratic heartbeat.

Owen poked his head out, and his face relaxed when he saw her. “There you are,” he said, coming over to where Parker stood and rubbing his hands down the length of her arms. “What are you doing out here? It’s freezing.”

“I just needed a minute,” she smiled.

Owen glanced over to where Calum stood, but Calum pretended not to notice. He wondered briefly if Owen knew who he was. “Come on,” he said. “Let’s go inside. Everyone’s leaving.” He took Parker’s hand and she followed him in. She chanced a quick look over her shoulder, but Calum wasn’t looking.

» » » » » »

Parker thought about Calum’s words all night, unable to sleep. She was supposed to go out for breakfast the next morning with Owen, Jenna and Taylor, but she texted Owen and told him that she wasn’t feeling well.

Later in the afternoon, she had made up her mind. She texted Owen and asked him if he would come over to talk. ‘Everything okay?’ had been his reply, but she didn’t respond. Within 20 minutes he was sitting on her couch, brows furrowed with concern and anticipation.

She hated confrontation, and she hated hurting people, but she saw no option other than to get it over with as quickly as possible.

“I’m just going to come right out and say it,” she started, taking a breath and letting the words tumble out. “I can’t be with you, Owen. I’m sorry. I can’t give you what you want, and it’s not fair to you.”

His eyes dropped to his lap, but he didn’t say anything.

After a few moments, Parker spoke again. “You don’t seem surprised,” she said quizzically, cocking her head to the side.

“Yeah,” Owen breathed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m not. You’ve been distant lately.”

“I’m sorry. I’ve just had a lot on my mind,” she admitted honestly.

He looked up at her. “That was him last night, wasn’t it? Outside on the patio?”

“Wh—”

“Nevermind,” he shook his head. “I don’t want to know.”

They were silent for a moment, then Owen shook his head again. “Actually, yeah, I do. Was it him?”

Parker hesitated before nodding. “Nothing happened,” she assured him.

“But you still love him.”

She nodded again. “I’m sorry,” she said again. “If I had met you a year ago—”

He placed his hand on top of hers. “It’s okay, Parker. You can’t help how you feel. It’s just—bad timing is all,” he chuckled lightly.

Parker smiled. It made it even harder for her to hurt him because of how understanding he was. “The worst,” she agreed.

He stood, and Parker followed him to the door. He slipped his shoes on, scooping up his keys from the side table. She took a step towards him, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head on his chest. “I wish things were different,” she murmured.

He relaxed around her, hugging her back and placing a kiss to the top of her head. “I know.”

He finally let her go, pulling back. “Well,” he said, reaching for the door. “Guess I’ll see you around.” He waved, and Parker’s heart broke as she watched him walk away, head down and shoulders sagging.

• • • • • •

Calum had another gig that night, and even though she was feeling guilty about hurting Owen, Parker desperately wanted to see Calum again. She decided she would go, and this time she wasn’t going to try to hide from him.

Calum was sitting at a table with the boys before his set, and he looked up when she walked through the front doors. She smiled at him, giving him a small wave. He stood to make his way over when John blocked his path, telling him it was time for him to go up on stage. He nodded, then shrugged apologetically at Parker. “Good luck,” she mouthed at him before taking a seat on one of the stools at the bar. The pub was full, and she was pretty sure it was all because of Calum.

Parker watched him intently for the entirety of his set, failing to hide her smile every time he looked up and caught her eye. She was clapping and cheering with the rest of the crowd when he thanked everyone for coming, and then he disappeared into the back. She turned around in her stool to face the bar, waiting for him to join her. When she felt someone come up to stand beside her, she smiled. Her smile faded instantly when she met the watery blue eyes of a man a few years older than her who reeked of alcohol.

“Pretty little thing like you, why are you sitting all alone?” he drawled, and it made Parker’s skin crawl. When she didn’t answer, he spoke again. “You look like you need a drink, honey.”

“No thanks,” she replied tightly, angling her body away from him in an attempt to make it clear she wasn’t interested. He didn’t seem to get the hint.

“Come on, baby girl, loosen up,” he tried again, moving closer. Parker leaned away again, trying to put more distance between them.

“I said no,” she said again, more firmly this time.

The guy was persistent, not willing to take no for an answer, and Parker was getting annoyed.

He slipped a hand around her, resting on her hip and squeezing as he leaned in close to her ear.

Just before Parker was about to get up and leave, she felt a wave of calm wash over her when she heard his voice.

“Get your hands off my girl, mate,” Calum growled, fist closing around the guy’s arm and ripping it off her before pushing him back so roughly he almost fell over. Parker’s insides went fuzzy at hearing him call her his girl. God, she had missed him saying that.

“Hey,” the guy grumbled, righting himself with one hand on the bar. “I have dibs on this one.”

“Oh, now you’ve done it, pal,” Parker heard one of the patrons laugh. This was Calum’s place, and everyone knew it. If he was going to set this scumbag straight, nobody, including John, was going to stop him.

Calum’s eyes narrowed as he stepped to the side, shielding Parker from his view. “She’s not your property.”

“Cal, just leave it,” Parker said quietly, coming to stand beside him and resting her hand on his shoulder.

“Oh yeah?” the guy challenged, quirking an eyebrow. “‘Cause I bet I could make her do all kinds of things with that pretty mouth of hers.”

Calum barely gave the guy enough time to finish his sentence before he brought his arm back and punched him so hard in the nose that he went sprawling on the floor. Blood poured from his nose, staining his teeth and dripping down the sides of his face. Parker gasped, stepping back instinctively.

Calum walked over to him, resting his booted foot on the guys’ throat.

“Calum, don’t!”

Calum had everyone’s attention now, but no one made a move to help the guy, knowing damn well he deserved to be put in his place. Calum put some of his weight down on his foot, obstructing the guy’s air flow just enough to have him squirming. He knew he was being a little bit dramatic, but he’d be damned if he let anyone disrespect Parker like that.

“Apologize,” Calum snarled.

In lieu of a reply, the guy spat on the ground beside him.

Calum pressed down harder, the guy’s face turning red from lack of oxygen. “I said, apologize.”

The guy struggled to get Calum’s foot off of him but the lack of blood flow to his brain made him weak. “Sorry,” he choked out, and Calum lifted his foot. He crouched down, Calum’s face hovering inches over the guy as he gasped to refill his lungs with air.

“Next time you think twice about speaking to a lady that way,” he said, calmly but menacingly. “Now get the fuck out of my pub.”

The guy scrambled to his feet. “Psycho,” he muttered as he wiped his face on his sleeve before rushing to the door.

Parker was still frozen in place, staring at the door. The whole encounter lasted all of two minutes, but it felt like a lifetime. No one else seemed fazed—the pub had resumed its activity from before the whole encounter.

“You okay, love?” Calum asked, slipping his finger under her chin and tipping it up to look at him.

She nodded. “That was—intense,” she breathed.

“Come for a walk with me,” he said, ticking his head towards the door for her to follow.

He held the door open for her, following her out. It was mid-February and it was snowing, but it wasn’t very cold. It was a beautiful night, really.

“I’m sorry if I scared you,” he said quietly.

“You didn’t,” Parker shook her head. “But you probably scarred him for life,” she laughed lightly.

Calum grinned. “No one talks to my girl like that. He deserved it.”

There it was again—my girl. Parker’s heart swelled. “I broke up with Owen,” she said abruptly, surprising herself at her bluntness, but also relieved that now it was out in the open.

“Figured that’s why you came tonight,” he shrugged.

She bumped him with her hip. “You’re pretty confident, aren’t you?” she teased.

“I watched you with him, angel. I could tell it wasn’t real for you. You knew it, too.”

Parker sighed. “I know. He just wasn’t you,” she confessed.

Calum turned to her, brushing his right thumb over her cheek. “I’ve missed you,” he murmured.

“You left me,” she whispered, feeling the telltale sting in her throat warning her that she was about to fall apart. “Crying on my doorstep. You never answered when I called.”

He caught her right hand in his left, bringing it up to his lips and pressing a kiss to the back of it. “I know, baby. I’m sorry.”

“I could have been there for you, but you just walked away. You gave up everything, all because you didn’t believe in us.”

“Parker, I’m—”

“No, Cal, I’m not done!” she interrupted. “I waited for you. Every single day I waited for you to figure out that you were being stupid, but you never came back for me. I never once gave you any reason to believe that you weren’t good enough for me,” she wiped at her cheeks forcefully, tears staining the sleeves of her coat. “You were always good enough, but you got so wrapped up in your head that you convinced yourself I could do better. You were the only one standing in our way!”

Calum fell silent. Parker was right. Deep down, he always knew it. It was why he never answered when she called, why he drove away that night before he gave her a chance to talk. Because he knew she would convince him that he was wrong. He never gave Parker a chance to prove that she wanted him, through the good and the bad. If there was ever a time he didn’t deserve her, it was now, after everything he put her through.

Calum pressed his forehead against hers. “I have nothing else to say other than that I’m sorry. You were right about everything. I hate myself for hurting you, but it’s what I thought was right, at the time. I was wrong. I know I can’t take it back, but if you let me, I can make it right. ‘Cause I love you. And I don’t really care about anything else.”

Parker inhaled sharply. Deep down, she knew all she needed was an affirmation that he still loved her. Lord knew she never stopped loving him. And then he kissed her, and Parker forgot what it felt like to live without him.

• • • • • •

When Calum and Parker walked back into the pub holding hands, the boys started cheering and clapping.

Luke grabbed Parker around the waist, tugging her onto his lap and squeezing her tightly, making her giggle. She had missed the boys, too. “Thank god,” Luke sighed, laughing. “We thought we were never gonna hear the end of it if you two didn’t get back together.”

Calum shot Luke a stern look, but it lasted less than a second before his face split into a grin. “Hands off my lady, mate. You saw what I did to that other guy.”

“I’ve got three inches on you, brother,” he scoffed out a laugh. “I could take you.”

“Okay, boys, relax. No one else needs to fight over me tonight,” Parker laughed. “You won’t get into trouble for that, will you?” Parker asked, suddenly worried about the fight she inadvertently caused. She couldn’t bear the thought of being the reason Calum got fired from another job.

“For taking out that asshole? God, no. Don’t worry, doll. John would never fire me.”

“We were gonna head out, Cal,” Ashton piped up. “You coming?”

“I can take you home,” Parker offered, turning to Calum.

He leaned down to whisper in her ear so the boys wouldn’t hear. “Only if you stay,” he murmured.

Parker smiled. They had a lot of catching up to do, and she was pretty sure neither of them would be sleeping much tonight.

Michael hugged her tight as the boys left the pub. “It’s good to have you back, P,” he murmured. “We missed you.”

» » » » » »

Despite having a very late night, Calum had the best sleep in what felt like years. He woke with Parker laying on his chest, the sound of her breathing letting a feeling of bliss wash over him. He didn’t realize quite how lonely his bed had been until he had Parker back in it. He loved this woman—there was no doubt in his mind that he would do anything for her. He counted himself lucky that she was willing to come back to him after hurting her the way he did, and he swore that he’d never let her go again.

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