#I didn't participate but I did walk around with my parents

[toiletpotato]

I'm so excited that Holi is starting to become a more widely celebrated holiday here. A few years ago Diwali was the only South Asian holiday that had a town sponsored event but now Holi is becoming more known and there are at least three different events that I can think of happening soon!!!!

[earlysunshines]

you bewitch me (every second you're with me.)

hufflepuff!danielle marsh x slytherin!fem!reader; angst, fluff

synopsis: danielle is stubborn. that’s a fact. her friends tell her to stay away from you—you’re the epitome of a slytherin and bad news as a whole. but danielle, being herself, does not listen whatsoever, which somehow works out in the end.

warnings: i don't know enough ab harry potter to be writing this ; or maybe i do ; slow burn ; anything that comes w harry potter idk ; reader has terrible parents, reader has LORE ; theyre so smitten and soft for each other im gonna sob ; everyone but hyein are around the same age but lalala older and younger sides of the grade exist ; anything else i didn't mention ; not proofread

a/n: fun fact i am a slytherin but the first time i took a harry potter sorting thing but every other time i got slytherin and i just took one and i am still slytherin so ignore the slytherin hate in this bc its WRONG slytherins r FIRE!!! omg also bruh my obsession with (these types of titles)... they're always dani too LOL. ALSO i rly liked writing this and spent a lot of time this is another favorite of mine.

danielle marsh embodies the spirit of a hufflepuff down to the bone. she’s friendly, easygoing, and effortlessly kind. ask anyone about danielle, and you'll hear nothing but glowing praise for her.

her personality and liveliness are the reason she’s friends with people from other houses. her best friends, hanni and minji, are ravenclaws that were drawn to her radiance from the moment they bumped into each other before being sorted into their houses. five years later, the trio is still inseparable, whether it’s studying, practicing spells, or even mentoring an underclassman they’ve unofficially adopted—hyein.

“so, how was your first week back?” danielle asks as hyein lazily kicks a crumpled-up piece of parchment along the floor.

“ugh, i can’t keep up with professor bae,” hyein groans. “she’s already assigning work during the beginning of the term. mind you, it just started.”

minji chuckles, patting the younger girl on the back. “it only gets worse from there, but you’ll get used to it! you had her last year and you survived. plus, you’re a third year now! third-year transfiguration is much more interesting this year, you actually learn spells that aren’t turning bugs into… bigger bugs.”

“yeah but transfiguration as a whole is going to kill me.” hyein sighs.

“hey! don’t talk like that… i’m always here to help you with anything hyein. professor bae is nice once you get under her skin. she just has a unique teaching style.”

hanni, who’s rolling her eyes at danielle, chimes in, “that’s easy for you to say dani, every professor loves you. even professor seong likes you. he hates everyone.”

danielle just giggles, shaking her head. “well, he’s a tough one, but if you just did his work and participated—”

before she can finish, minji–who’s been walking ahead and distractedly watching danielle—turns a corner and collides head-on with someone. there’s a thud as books clash onto the ground, and minji stumbles back, wide-eyed.

“i’m so sorry—” minji blurts out, bending down to pick up a fallen book before freezing mid-motion.

the person in front of her is you. 

y/n l/n. 

you stand there, calm and unflinching, though your gaze is sharp as it lands on minji, like a dagger pointed right at her. your expression is unreadable, jaw tightening just slightly as you flick your wand to retrieve your fallen book. 

minji opens her mouth to apologize again, but her voice falters. 

it’s danielle who cuts in, stepping forward with her signature brightness to interrupt the tension in the air. “hey, excuse me, you just bumped into my friend—” 

before she finishes her sentence, hanni elbows her sharply, and your piercing gaze shifts to danielle. for a moment, you study her, eyes narrowing ever so slightly as if searching for something beneath her easy smile.

the corridor feels heavier, and quieter, as you finally give her one last look before walking past without a word. the group is left frozen in place, but danielle turns around to call out for you again.

“hey! excuse—” hanni elbows danielle once more, giving her a serious look. 

you don’t even turn at the sound of danielle’s voice. your posture is perfect as you continue to walk, your steps echoing throughout the hall.

“dani, are you crazy?” hanni breaks the following silence, scolding her with a voice that’s barely above a whisper. then, she turns to the oldest of the bunch. “minji, you just—”

“i know,” minji mutters, her eyes narrowing at your figure before you turn the corner, disappearing into the next hall.

danielle blinks, confused by her friends’ reactions. “what’s her deal? who was that?”

hanni spins around, grabbing danielle’s shoulders like she’s trying to shake sense into her. “dani, danielle, are you serious? that was y/n l/n.”

“oh, her? she’s the keeper for slytherin, right?”

“yes, but dani. is that all you—?” minji cuts herself off, her tone urgent before she continues, “she’s the slytherin. like, the epitome of a slytherin. she’s smart, sharp, and cold as ice—allegedly. plus, no one’s ever seen her smile unless it’s during quidditch. i know i haven’t.”

“so?” danielle shrugs, and a giggle slips from her lips. “she’s just like us, no? a slytherin, sure, but still. i mean they always stray from hufflepuffs, i’ve heard some things but i never took them that seriously…”

“you don’t get it, danielle.” hanni then turns to hyein, “i mean i’d understand if hyein didn’t know her, she’s only a second year but we’re literally in our sixth year and you don’t—” hanni groans, gripping danielle’s shoulders tighter. “her family is like, insane. her parents are famous pure-bloods, super influential at the ministry of magic, and filthy rich. their legacy at hogwarts is well-known, they have an effect on some of our curriculum bro. and? y/n is scary. did you see her?”

“she’s not scary,” danielle argues, brushing off hanni’s dramatics. from what danielle saw, you were simply just a girl. a slytherin girl with an intense look and a rude approach to others. nothing crazy. “she’s not all that from what i can tell, not from moments ago and her quidditch matches.”

hanni grabs danielle, hugging her and setting her forehead on one shoulder exasperatedly as she closes her eyes. “you’re crazy, danielle.”

“completely insane,” minji agrees, though her voice still holds a hint of awe.

meanwhile, hyein, who has been quietly observing, adds her own input. “she did seem kinda scary.”

danielle sighs, shaking her head as the group begins walking again. “you all are being ridiculous. she’s just like anyone else, i bet. who cares what her parents do, we’re all equals.”

but even as she says it, she can’t help but think about how your eyes lingered on her, as if peeling back the cheerful exterior to find something underneath. something about it unsettled her—but she’d never admit it out loud.

“i don’t think she would see you as one.” minji admits, biting the inside of her lip. “she’s not friends with any muggles—she’s only interacted with pure-bloods from what i can see. the only person she’s around and actually talks to, maybe even friends with, is haerin, who’s from a very prestigious family.”

danielle understands the implications in minji’s response. danielle is muggle-born, but that doesn’t mean anything to anyone that knows her. she excels in her classes, especially potions and defense against the dark arts. could you really be so uptight to not see that she’s an equal? danielle would be mad, but she seriously can’t believe it.

“well that’s a flaw on her end.” danielle huffs, crossing her arms.

“considering her lineage, what can you do?” hanni sighs.

—

the next morning, herbology feels oddly quieter than usual as danielle takes her usual seat, surrounded by her friends. she glances at the row of ravenclaws and slytherins across the greenhouse, her stare lingering on you before quickling flicking away when minji nudges her.

“are you seriously looking at her again?” minji whispers, raising an eyebrow. 

the seating for the class—if not each class—was usually grouped by house, with a few groups of mixed others. minji, hanni, and danielle usually stick together, however. the three are pretty much inseparable, and most are aware of it.

“i’m not,” danielle whispers back, though the slight heat rising to her cheeks betrays her.

danielle has never been that interested in you. she’s aware of your reputation due to a brief overhearing from some other hufflepuffs and a few gryffindors, but she never cared enough since you two were never within proximity. maybe she cared just a bit when you would prevent her house from scoring during quidditch, but it was never that deep.

ever since that encounter, however, her curiosity has definitely piqued. and since she’s a hufflepuff, there’s nothing that could suppress that curiosity.

you stand at the far end of the room, posture as perfect as possible with an unreadable, stoic expression painted on your face. even as the greenhouse buzzes with chatter, you stay just how you are, solitary. she watches you flip through your herbology textbook casually, and yet, it somehow feels intimidating. 

on your end, you’re a sentence in when you feel someone's eyes on you. turning to your right, you catch the eyes that you felt, and they’re from no one other than danielle marsh. the same girl from yesterday. you’ve heard of her, but only that she’s like any other hufflepuff, that she’s the hufflepuff.

when professor seo clears her throat, everyone quickly redirects their attention and quiets down. 

she goes down a list of names, some of the pairings playing out just how some would like, one of the pairs being hanni and minji. some of them were terrible, such as soobin and beomgyu who would most definitely break something.

but the pairing that really turns heads is the last.

“and lastly, miss marsh and miss l/n.”

the silence that follows is deafening. all eyes flicker between you two, most of them staying on danielle. a wave of whispered speculation ripples through the room, and even haerin, who rarely reacts to anything, looks slightly taken aback. her gaze darts between you and danielle, then lingers on you while she studies your own reaction.

danielle blinks in surprise, her heart skipping a beat. her eyes don’t steer away from you, she’s expecting some kind of protest or hesitation, but you simply gather your materials and walk over to her table with the same unbothered composure. everyone’s eyes follow you.

you place your book on the table, then sit down right next to her. danielle swallows lightly, feeling the weight of your presence. for someone so calm and quiet, your proximity feels overwhelming.

when everyone pretends to get over your pairing, professor seo goes over the lab.

the task is simple enough—repotting mandrakes—but the tension in the air makes it anything but easy. danielle steals another glance at you, trying to make sense of the sharp edges of your personality. you’re intensely focused, your hands moving with practiced precision as you handle the plant with care. 

“you’re staring,” you mutter quietly, not even lifting your eyes. this is the first time danielle’s ever heard you speak, and your voice isn’t as scathing as she thought it would be. 

danielle jolts, nearly dropping her towel. “don’t get ahead of yourself.”

that gets your attention. you raise a brow, finally meeting her eyes. there’s a beat of stillness between you, the air thick with something unspoken. your expression remains calm, but there’s a clicker of something beneath the surface—maybe it’s interest. maybe,

“you never apologized to minji,” danielle huffs firmly, though her cheeks betray her with a subtle blush. “i mean, you just walked away. like it didn’t matter. you could’ve at least said something.”

you tilt your head slightly, taking her in. her determination is… unexpected, and so is the way she doesn’t shrink under your scrutiny. “i see,” you reply evenly, turning back to the task. 

“that’s it?” danielle presses, slight frustration bubbling over despite how composed she seems. “you don’t care at all, do you?”

you glance at her again, your expression still neutral. “should i?”

“most people would.” she counters, her gaze steady now, no longer flustered.

you study her for a moment longer, the corners of your lips twitching just barely. something about her surprises you, catches you off guard. people usually tiptoe around you, wary of your reputation. but danielle doesn’t seem fazed in the slightest. she looks at you as if none of it matters.

no one’s ever looked at you like that, no one other than haerin.

“you don’t care about my reputation, do you?”

“should i?” danielle almost mocks you, her voice firm. “because i don’t.”

for a moment, silence hung between you. your lips twitch again, ever so slightly.

“then care about the mandrake instead,” you simply say, turning your attention back to the plant. “it might cry, and its cry is fatal.”

danielle blinks, momentarily thrown off by how calm you are about everything, but she doesn’t back down. she focuses on the task, her frustration slowly morphing into something else while she planted the other mandrake. 

across the room, minji and hanni exchange glances, whispering to each other as they watch the interaction unfold. 

“she’s actually holding her own,” hanni mutters, wide-eyed. “she’s insane.”

“i didn’t think she had it in her, especially after we scolded her like that.” hanni replies, both of them utterly captivated.

as the two of you worked in tense silence, danielle couldn’t help but wonder: why did you intrigue her so much now? it’s not like she ever noticed you like that before. maybe it’s because you’ve broken the silence and she’s gotten a glimpse of who you are.

and why, despite everything, did you seem just a little impressed by her too?

—

chatter spills throughout the hallway as class ends. you’re walking beside hyein, her presence comforting and a contrast to the buzz around you two. as you two make your way down the hall, she suddenly starts,

“how was your lab?” she asks, “with the hufflepuff.”

“ah,” you mutter, recollecting everything—from her confrontation to how well she handled the mandrakes. “danielle is… interesting. she’s good at the labs, at least.”

“yeah?”

“yeah.” you hum, “what’s got you so curious?”

“i think everyone is curious. l/n and marsh, what a combination.” a faint smirk pulls at haerins lips, you roll your eyes at her.

a few more steps down, you feel a tap at your shoulder. both you and haerin turn, surprised to find danielle standing there with her a friends a few paces behind her. you tilt your head slightly.

“you’re not as bad as everyone paints you out to be.” danielle says, her voice steady. you swear there’s a hint of mischief in her eyes. 

your expression shifts for a split second—just enough for danielle to notice the faint twitch of your features—before you return to the practiced stoicism you wear so well. narrowing your eyes, you tense your jaw, measuring her.

and then, she smiles. not a mocking smile or anything meant to provoke—it’s genuine. warm, even.

a low sigh escapes your lips, your shoulders relaxing by the smallest margin. you glance at minji, who’s right behind her. she stiffens slightly when you make eye contact, clearly caught off guard by the directness of your gaze.

“i’ll watch where i’m going,” you say firmly, voice even, before turning away. 

haerin gives the trio a lingering glance—danielle with her bright grin and her friends with their stunned, wide-eyed expressions—before following after you.

as you disappear down the hallway, danielle’s grin only widens. behind her, hanni mumbles, “i have to be dreaming.”

danielle doesn’t reply, her gaze fixed on where you’ve just vanished around the corner. and as you do, aware that you’re not in her sight, haerin starts to speak to you again. “what was that about?”

“i–” you begin, sighing again. “i bumped into the ravenclaw—minji. danielle kept bugging me about it, saying i should care and apologize for bumping into her friend.”

haerin’s eyes widen again, she looks at you in disbelief. “she’s got guts.”

“i know.”

—

danielle marsh really does have guts. 

the next day during herbology, professor seo doesn’t assign pairings. instead, everyone has the opportunity to pick whoever they want. minji and hanni usually pair themselves up due to convenience, since they’re in the same house and all. danielle, on the other hand, would pick liz or sunoo, two hufflepuffs she also gets along with quite well. 

but something churning in her nerves pushes her out of her seat before she even realizes it. she moves toward the opposite side of the room and no one really pays attention at first, not until it’s clear where her destination is.

she stops in front of your desk. her strong, lively presence makes you glance up and you meet her eyes. she’s staring at you with a neutral expression (though there’s always a very faint smile on her lips) before a small grin forms.

you tilt your head and raise both brows just barely, as if asking her what do you want? through a simple look. it conveys the question perfectly, silently.

“let’s be partners,” she says, her tone casual. the words shock the few that are eavesdropping. 

you turn to haerin briefly, who’s watching with mild interest but says nothing, leaving the choice entirely to you.

danielle notices a flicker in your eyes, something she can’t pinpoint. 

“okay.” you reply, standing to meet her level as if it were a challenge. she smiles wider, her confidence unwavering, and you exhale just slightly, your jaw loosening.

from there on out, there’s whispers and mutters shared throughout the room. who wouldn’t gossip considering the pairing that was willingly put together? 

the task at hand was much more complex now, the duos in the class having to put up with venomous tentaculas. their writhing vines and snapping leaves demand quick reflex and unspoken coordination. you and danielle still had your tension, not knowing each other well, but there was this weird amount of trust. and the trust went a long way, the two of you handling the plants with ease. 

when one of the tentacula lashes out, it’s sharp teeth glinting, danielle’s uses a spell to restrain it in an instant. you pause, meeting her eyes briefly, the faintest hint of gratitude crossing your features.

then you return to your task without a word, your hands steady as you document the plant’s behavior.

why did danielle suddenly pop into your life—six years into being at hogwarts?

and why don’t you mind in the slightest?

when the lab ends, you and danielle are the first to finish. instead of going back to her side of the room, she walks over to the slytherin side and sits down right next to you. her curiosity is radiating.

“you’re good with plants,” she says, breaking the silence.

you don’t respond immediately, your attention still on your notes.

“worked with them before?” she asks.

“rarely,” you reply, flat but honest.

“you’re a natural.”

silence stretches out again, but danielle doesn't waver.

“not much of a talker, are you—”

“why are you so insistent on pestering me?” you cut her off, glancing at her finally. your voice isn’t sharp, but it’s more resigned like you’re genuinely curious.

her grin returns, but softer this time. “because i don’t think you’re everything your reputation says about you. and i want to know why.”

you blink, caught off guard, though your expression remains steady.

she’s ridiculous.

her words settle somewhere in your chest, unfamiliar yet oddly weighty.

“what makes you think i’m nothing like what everyone says?” you murmur, looking her dead in the eye and testing her resolve again.

“well, i’m going to need evidence to figure that out.” she says without missing a beat.

you nearly smile at her audacity, but instead, you pick up your quill, turning back to your notes. danielle doesn’t leave, her presence steady beside you, as if she’s already decided she’s staying.

—

haerin meets you back at the dining hall during lunch, sitting down beside you as you look over a few pages in a textbook that professor seong decided to assign.

“you’re always studying.”

“and i’m always top of the class, haerin.” you respond teasingly, one corner of your lip turning up just a bit. 

“i guess you’re right.”

haerin takes a bite out of the protein on her plate, some type of seasoned chicken, and you munch on broccoli as you observe your surroundings. near the end of your table, heeseung, one of your least favorite slytherins, is joking around with his friends. he’s probably boasting on about something uninteresting. 

past your table is the hufflepuffs table, and of course your look manages to land right on danielle—who’s right across from you, basically. you immediately look away again, down at the book on the table, but haerin is observant.

“danielle.” haerin says simply.

“what?”

“what’s with you two?”

“nothing,” you’re quick to answer her, shaking your head slightly. “she just… doesn’t care about my reputation.”

“i figured. seems you don’t care whether she’s in your bubble or not either.”

“what do you mean?”

“something tells me you’re not against her presence—her.”

“you’re being ridiculous.”

“i’m not. you didn’t ignore her, you spoke to her and agreed to be her partner. why is that?”

you think about it for a second, you can’t pinpoint it. “i— i don’t know.”

“you stuttered.”

“haerin.” you groan, looking at her with defeat. “let’s save this for when we’re alone. please?”

“fine.” she complies, taking a bite of chicken. 

you glance at danielle once more, then to haerin, who’s poking at something on her plate. why is she so curious anyway? haerin’s always been nosy, but not in the same way as those pretentious slytherins are. she’s just observant and always wanting to know more. her nature helps her out with that. 

danielle’s the first person you’ve let into your life like this, well, not in your life, but in your ‘bubble’ as haerin says. why do you do that? maybe haerin’s playing mind games with you. could it be because you didn’t partner with her? maybe she’s—

“i’m not jealous, by the way.”

woah.

“what? what are you even saying?” you brush her off, eyeing her from the side.

“just curious, not jealous.” haerin repeats. “i don’t mind working with wonyoung at all. if anything, i think it’s great you’re branching out—even after what heeseung did for your rep.”

you give her another good look, watching her turn back to her plate and bite into her chicken almost like a feline. 

she’s something else.

—

“i can’t believe you’re willingly partnering with her in not one, but two classes now.” hanni says, half baffled and half amazed as she walks beside danielle.

what she’s referring to is the fact that danielle had decided to pair up with you during potions class. everyone in the class reacted the same way—eyes wide, shushed whispers, and going stiff at the sight of danielle approaching you. 

hanni nudges her, eyebrows raised. “seriously, what’s the deal? you’re one of the nicest people i know. that everyone knows. y/n is… she’s, well—her.”

danielle adjusts her bag on her shoulder, shrugging lightly. “she doesn’t seem that bad, and from my time with her she really isn’t.”

“bro, there’s a rumor that she shoved some first year when we were third years because they were in the way. i mean, we’re lucky she didn’t do that to minji. and also, she’s friends with heeseung. you know how he is.”

“those are rumors.”

“sure, but you’d have to be malicious to get a rumor like that. that’s like me pushing hyein because she decided to breathe near me.”

“that’s ridiculous.”

“danielle, her parents are batshit insane.” hanni says a little more seriously. “i’m just trying to look out for you.”

“well i appreciate that hanni, thank you.” danielle says, smiling. “but honestly, i really like working with her. i think we make a great team and… she’s not all that bad.”

hanni stops walking, staring at her as if she just grew another set of eyes. “you like working with her?”

“i do.” danielle stops too, turning to face hanni fully. “she’s focused, efficient, and knows what she’s doing. i mean, did you see how she handled the venomous tentacula last week? she barely flinched. even if she is as evil as you say, she’s a really good student.”

hanni crosses her arms, still unconvinced. “okay, but what about the part where she’s basically nonverbal? or how literally no one in the class wants to go up to her by themselves? not even slytherins.” 

danielle laughs softly, the sound light and unbothered. you’re just… quiet. you’re really not that bad, and you don’t have much venom in your tone. you’re like a snake with dull fangs.

“maybe she’s just not used to people actually trying to get to know her. you should give her a chance.”

hanni looks skeptical, but there’s a glimmer of curiosity in her eyes. “you’re telling me you know how to get through her scales?”

“i wouldn’t say that,” danielle says, smiling again. “but i do think there’s more to her than what everyone says. i mean, does anyone really know her?”

“no…” hanni shakes her head, muttering under her breath. “only you would willingly do this. god, i bet you’re just trying to spice up your last years here.”

“maybe,” danielle says, her grin widening as she starts walking again. 

—

for the next two weeks you and danielle voluntarily partner up during herbology and potions. you do it because she’s a great partner, and she does it because she just loves to talk to you. sometimes you think that she could make conversation with a brick wall.

your marks are high, and everyone is getting used to your weird dynamic a little more. there’s less shock each time you pair up, less whispers, and less of every look that comes with. 

the two of you even grow acustomed to working together, being able to predict the others next move and building your collaboration skills. it’s odd, yeah, obviously. but you’re comfortable and excelling in each task, so who are you to complain?

—

after potions class everyone gathers their materials before heading out. danielle waves to her friends, telling them she’ll meet them later. they look at her skeptically, shrugging and saying goodbye before danielle starts walking over to the exit without them,

you’re halfway out the door when you hear a voice—bright and cheery as usual—then turn to see no one other than your hufflepuff partner.

“hey,” danielle greets, suddenly appearing at your side.

you glance over, surprised, not uttering anything in response. there’s only a slight twitch in your brows, but danielle doesn’t seem to mind.

you both head out together in the hall with your books in your hands while you make your way to the dining hall. danielle starts to speak first, “that class was interesting, don’t you think? professor kim has a unique teaching style that i like very much. and potions in general, they’re cool, aren’t they? wow, the one we had to learn was difficult but cool. the ingredients were all so rare and mingled with one another so strangely.”

you don’t reply, but your silence isn’t unfriendly. you listen instead, the faint twitch of your lips and slight softness in your gaze betraying that you don’t entirely hate her rambling. 

danielle doesn’t seem to care whether you respond or not, continuing on, “i think it’s my favorite class—well, maybe tied with herbology. no wait, im lying, it’s definitely care of magical creatures. i loooove animals. what about you, do you have a favorite?”

you don’t answer, and not because you’re being your usual self, but because you’re really trying to think of which class you like the most. to be fair, it might just be defense against the dark arts or transfiguration, classes where you use your wands more. but before the silence can stretch further, and before you can utter something in return, an unwelcome voice cuts in.

“didn’t know you started letting mudbloods talk to you.” heeseung sneers, stepping in front of you with two of his friends behind him. “what are you doing with one of them.”

danielle freezes, her cheerful expression dimming slightly, and something flickers in her eyes–hurt. 

a nerve in you tightens. before you can stop yourself, you scoff and deliver a retort without thinking. “none of that concerns you, heeseung. maybe you should focus on balancing on your broom instead.”

he flinches, the sting of your words evident in the way his jaw clenches. he’s known to have a poker face, or something intimidating to most, but you know him like the back of your hand whether he likes it or not. for a moment, he looks like he wants to say something back, but then he thinks better of it. 

you’re scary to everyone. even him. especially him. he hesitates before muttering, “whatever,” and brushing it off like it doesn’t bother him. “the team needs to gather to talk about the game tomorrow. don’t keep us waiting because of a mudblood. know your worth, l/n.”

the word ‘mudblood’ tightens your nerve further. you narrow your eyes at him, already annoyed, and he takes the hint, leaving with a muttered curse under his breath.

danielle looks at you, her brows slightly raised. and for the first time you witness her hesitate before speaking, “you’re friends with him?”

“no.” you don’t elaborate on it, instead you give her a glance that lingers for a moment too long. something about the way she looked a little hurt earlier still bothers you, though you don’t know why. 

“see you later,” you say politely before turning and heading in the same direction heeseung did. 

as you walk away, you feel a strange, nagging irritation—not just at heeseung, but at yourself.

—

haerin watches you stare at the ceiling for about five minutes before deciding to poke you.

“what’s going on with you?”

“nothing.” you lie.

“you’re disassociating.” haerin points out, then moves over to sit at the edge of your bed. “do you want to tell me? or do you want to bottle everything up like always.”

you sit up at her words, giving her a look that has a tinge of hurt and defeat. you look down at your mattress for a moment before looking back up at her. she tilts her head, you sigh.

“heeseung is a prick.” you say, though a little too calmly for your burning hatred for the guy. 

“nothing new.”

silence passes on for a few seconds before you continue,

“he called danielle a mudblood right in front of her.” the word doesn’t slip off your tongue easily, it feels wrong just saying it. “what’s wrong with that— ugh.”

“why do you care?”

you snap your head to meet haerin’s gaze. “what? what kind of question is that?”

“one that you should answer.”

“i— i don’t know? you don’t call a muggle a mudblood in front of them. that’s so rude.”

haerin narrows her eyes at you, seemingly studying you. it’s scrutinizing. and almost as if a lightbulb has just lit up above her head, she says, “you care about her.”

“what?”

“danielle.”

“why would i? we— we’re just partners.”

“but you want to be more than that; you want to be friends with danielle.”

you don’t respond, insetad, surrendering under her eye contact. she raises her brows and you lay down in bed again, shutting your eyes.

“she’s… nice.”

“then be friends with her y/n.” haerin urges, “she wants to be friends with you.”

“it’s not that simple—”

“it is. danielle goes out of her way to talk and be with you, but you’re the one making it impossible.”

you don’t even try to argue back with haerin—she’s right after all. it’s just, you don’t know how to do all this friend stuff. haerin’s the only one you could converse with freely due to her similar nature, which is the complete opposite of danielle, who’s the sun, and in contrast, you’re like the moon.

plus, heeseung just made it ten times harder for you. everyone has this idea that you and him are good friends, and that’s only because your parents are good business partners that also happen to have dinner with one another from time to time. this drags you and heeseung into the same orbit, which feeds the illusion of a bond that doesn’t exist.. 

the truth is, he’s the bane of your existence. 

heeseung has been in love with you since your second year, but when you rejected him and decided to show platonic interest in others—he completely ruined everything for you.

not many knew much about you back then, not until heeseung revealed your parents’ connections and influence, your lineage, wealth, and even spread rumors about you. he painted you as some carbon copy of your parents, and people believed it just because of your demeanor. plus, you were naturally smart and had the same look as your father, which added on to the ‘slytherin stereotype’ that everyone placed on you. 

heeseung ruined your chance at being even a little normal. he screwed your chances at a normal social life. you lost the few friends you made, it took a long while to make a new friend, a real friend. now he’s called your new potential friend—or even someone you’re able to be casual with—a mudblood.

—

the whole day consists of danielle not being her normal self, not even during your herbology lab. danielle loves herbology. 

her signature smile isn’t on while tending to the plants. instead, she’s focused and attentive like usual, but without the liveliness and infatuation. you don’t say anything to help the tension, simply staying quiet unless it’s needed. she utters something here and there, telling you to be careful due to the plants nature and its venom and whatnot.

you want to ask if she’s okay, but it’s out of character for you. what if she keeps giving you the cold shoulder even after that? what if you say something wrong, or maybe—

“hey, be careful with your finger.” danielle snaps you away from your thoughts. “it has a long reach for it’s bite.”

you nod at her. “right, thanks.”

she offers a small smile and it gives you a slight push to keep it up.

…

the thought of danielle being hurt from heeseung’s words gnaws at you even after your class with her. her energy from before lingers in your mind during lunch, and even during your last class before your game.

it’s then that you realize: you cannot play while being this bothered. 

and maybe haerin was right, maybe you do care for her. there’s no harm in caring anyway, which leads you to where you are right now.

before the quidditch game, you spot danielle lingering near the stands. her expression is soft, distant, and nothing like her usual self. you can’t bear to see it. something pushes you to walk up to her when no one isn’t paying attention, catching her by surprise as you drag her over to someplace private even though your team is already gathering in the stadium.

“don’t let heeseung’s words get to you.” you say firmly, looking her in the eye. “he’s a terrible person. you shouldn’t take anything he says to heart.”

danielle blinks, startled by your directness and the fact that you have started the conversation and approached her instead. your tone has something in it—sincerity, maybe frustration—that makes her listen carefully.

“you’re a great person,” you add, though quieter than before. “way better than someone like him in every way.” your voice softens when you say it, and there’s a vulnerability in your look. “i don’t want his words affecting you at all. i… i was so overwhelmed because your smile wasn’t as bright and wide today.”

her lips part as if to respond, but no words come out. she’s processing your words, you just called her smile bright? you step back before she can figure out how to respond. your voice drops to a lower register as you finally add, “i have to leave. just… don’t let him bother you. he’s the reason we lose points anyway.”

danielle smiles and your jaw relaxes. with that, you turn and rush toward the pitch, your quidditch uniform swishing behind you. danielle watches you disappear into the crowd of players, her heart thudding unevenly in her chest.

when the game starts, her eyes stay on you. usually she’d be focused on kazuha or jake, two of the best players for hufflepuff, but she’s so intent on watching how you move. your actions are effortless and precise. you’re observant and quick to prevent chasers from scoring; danielle’s never really paid attention to your work on the field until today’s game.

the match is long, intense, and draining. you can hear the crowd roaring with every near miss or scored goal. sweat builds up on your face as you move from goal to goal, not letting a single chaser score. 

danielle focuses on you, revelling in the flash of raw emotion when your teammates score against hers or when you manage to prevent hufflepuff from scoring. she wants to see your lips turning upwards up close and in person, not just from the stands.

by the time the game ends, danielle’s admiration for you has grown into something more. it’s undeniable and reeling, something she can’t quite ignore. your talent and unique demeanor inevitably tugged at her, but also the way you saw her. you took the time to spare assuring words, something you wouldn’t do for anyone else. you spoke to her like you were willing to chip your walls down a bit.

—

danielle takes a bigger leap and sits next to you next herbology class. she’s smiling wider than last time, you can tell she’s back to her usual self. it brings a feeling of relief.

haerin is sitting with you and witnessing the whole scene. danielle smiles at her too, and oddly enough the younger girl nearly smiles back. haerin tightens her jaw to fight it.

danielle turns to you, suddenly saying, “you did well last game! but ugh, hufflepuff was so close…” 

you look at her and she’s giving you those puppy eyes as she waits for a response, which makes it really hard to stand your ground. you don’t know what to say, how to respond, and really how to formulate a response that’s not boring or generic.

you feel haerin nudging you with her knee under the table, then shoot her a quick glance. she puts her chin on her palm as she raises a brow subtly, but very much noticeable to you. you tighten your jaw before attempting a response.

“barely.” harsh. you wonder if anything you say won’t be laced with something negative.

much to your surprise, danielle smiles, letting out an amused giggle. “wow, is the win getting to you?”

“no.” you scoff, “hufflepuff was barely scoring. they scored twice.”

“how humble of you.”

“it’s just the facts, danielle.” you shake your head, and when you look at her again, her smile is from ear to ear.

she’s successfully created a conversation, and neither of you wants it to stop.

before you both can continue, a loud smack of a textbook hitting a desk is heard. everyone looks toward the front of the room, meeting the professor as she starts the lesson—just when things were on a roll. you bite the inside of your lip in defeat.

—

haerin walks with you after all the classes are done and you both catch up on what’s gone on through the day. the sun hits her skin as a small smile tugs at her lips.

“an underclassman bumped into me earlier,” she says, her voice light with amusement. “she apologized by giving me a pack of gummies and rushing away. she was probably running late.”

you chuckle. “peach gummies… let me guess, you didn’t waste a second before you ate them all.”

“of course not,” haerin replies with a shrug, her tone playful. “finished the whole packet during the class before this.”

you laugh quietly, shaking your head as you turn the corner together. the carefreeness fades. when you and haerin notice a scene simultaneously. much to your dismay, heeseung is at the end of the hall with his two friends you couldn’t care less about. they’re in front of a group of four girls, they all look visibly uncomfortable. one of the girls catches your eye immediately—danielle.

before haerin can even react, you’re already striding forward.

“mudbloods like you,” heeseung starts, stepping up. “need to know their place here.”

you don’t care to hear the rest of what he has to say before stepping in between him and danielle, who he’s in the middle of conversing with, and seemingly size up with him. heeseung is taller to the point where you have to tilt your head up slightly to meet his gaze, but still, he immediately seems to back down when you lower your chin. your eyes drill into his.

“y/n.” he bites down on his teeth, then smirks just barely. your brows furrow and your lip quirks to a faint expression of disgust.  he chuckles, looking you up and down. “what, you’ve gone soft for a mudblood and her measly friends? what’s gotten into you l/n?”

“get out of their way.”

“what would your parents say?”

“i’ll cast a spell that tangles your limbs if you don’t get out of my face right now.” you say sharply. you lean a little closer near his ear, nearly whispering, “what would your parents say if they found out how desperate you are to ruin the l/n’s daughter's social life because you can’t handle rejection?” 

heeseung watches you pull back, looking at him with nothing but resentment. his smirk slips from his face and he stiffens. he pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue, scoffing and tilting his head at his friends before backing off. 

as he retreats, you turn back to danielle and her friends, their expressions a mix of shock and relief. haerin looks equally stunned, her brow raised as she observes you silently.

you give danielle one last look before motioning for haerin to continue on with you, but before you can even step away, danielle grabs for your wrist and tugs lightly. the warmth of her skin catches you off guard, and so does the soft urgency in her voice.

“wait,” danielle begins. “thanks.”

haerin is looking at you intensely—from what you can see in your peripheral— which urges you to respond, “heeseung is a parasite. don’t let him talk to you like that.” before gently pulling your hand away from her grasp.

danielle grins again, her expression softening. “hey, you busy?”

“what?” you ask, caught off guard.

“my friends and i are going to study together, wanna join?” her question is abrupt, out of nowhere, and you have not prepared for it. you’re left momentarily speechless. haerin, who has been watching the interaction like a hawk, clears her throat just as one of danielle’s friends—hyein—chimes in.

“wait a second,” hyein says, pointing at haerin. “you’re the girl from earlier! peach gummies!”

haerin blinks, caught off guard. “oh. that was you?”

hyein grins. “yeah. sorry for making you drop your books, and thanks for not getting mad.”

the coincidence seems to diffuse some of the lingering tension. you and haerin exchange a brief glance, silently agreeing to go along with the invitation.

“alright.” you say finally. her friends look a bit skeptical, but danielle lights up. 

the group moves to the library, settling into a quieter corner but not without earning a few looks from the odd mix of individuals. books and notes are spread across the table as conversation flows between the girls. danielle ends up sittign across from you, her focus flitting between her work and sneaking glances your way—just to make sure you’re doing alright, that’s all.

meanwhile, haerin and hyein hit it off unexpectedly, their conversation sprinkled with playful remarks about their earlier encounter. 

the quiet hum of the group’s murmurs and faint rustle of parchment as you all settle into conversation in between studying. haerin and hyein are seated across from each other, fully engrossed in a lighthearted debate about their favorite snacks.

“peach gummies are the best,” hyein insists, tapping her quill against the table for emphasis. minji raises her brows at the loud noise. “sorry—” hyein apologizes, “but anyway, they’re fruity and chewy—what could top that?”

haerin tilts her head, her expression as composed as ever. “they’re good, but i like the caramel sweets better. they’re something to savor during boring lectures, and they taste great with many things.”

hanni, sitting beside hyein, chimes in, “okay, but chocolate frogs? iconic, come on now.”

“overrated,” you say without looking up from your notes.

you shrug, looking up now with a smirk threatening to form. “milk chocolate is too sweet. dark chocolate has more depth.”

minji nods in agreement. “she’s not wrong… dark chocolate is way better.”

hanni narrows her eyes playfully. “this is such a slytherin take. dark, less sweet, come on.”

you raise your brows in mock offense, leaning back in your chair. “slytherin? really?”

danielle giggles softly, and the sound draws your attention for just a moment. it’s light and warm, and you find yourself nearly smiling—something small, fleeting. but danielle notices, her gaze lingering on your with a touch of awe like there’s a slight sparkle in her eye. it’s as though she’s just uncovered a secret.

the conversation shifts back to haerin and hyein, the youngest of the bunch, while the upperclassmen actually study.

“you’re so pretty, it’s unreal.” hyein says suddenly, her voice filled with sincere admiration. “teach me.”

haerin blinks, caught off guard, but her lips curve into a small, genuine smile. “that’s… sweet of you to say. no one’s ever said that to me.”

her rare smile draws a full grin from you. haerin’s reserved nature mirrors your own, and seeing her relax enough to enjoy herself feels strangely gratifying. and the fact that someone else has complimented her so sweetly when no one else dares to do so, it deepens the turn of your lips. hyein is such gryffindor material.

only danielle catches you smile, her chest tightening as she observes the once-in-a-blue moon sight. it’s warm and brief and a flicker of something unguarded—vulnerable—but to her, it’s mesmerizing. it makes you even more admirable. if she could frame the moment, she’d do it in a heartbeat.

(that must be weird, danielle thinks. there’s fireworks going off in her head, for some reason.)

“alright,” minji says, breaking the moment with a teasing grin. “but seriously, if we’re ranking snacks, the red bean dorayaki is so on my top five.”

the conversation continues, lighthearted and easy, but danielle can’t stop thinking about how lovely your smile is, even if it was fleeting. her heart flutters for some strange reason.

the chatter fades into the background as you push back your chair and stand, brushing off a stray crumb from your knitted sweater. “i’ll be back,” you mutter, directing the comment vaguely toward haerin, who briefly glances and nods.

the quiet of the library reaches a near silence as you navigate the towering shelves, the scent of parchment and ink filling the air. your fingers trail along the spines of books as you scan for the title you need. it doesn’t take long before a familiar presence is felt by your side.

danielle steps into view, her footsteps light as she comes to stand beside you. she doesn’t say anything at first, just mirrors your movements, her gaze flitting over the shelves as if she’s searching for something as well.

you glance at her, surprised. “need something?”

she shakes her head, her lips curving into a small smile. “just wanted to tag along.”

you hum, not entirely convinced, and return to scanning the shelves. when you spot the book you’re looking for, you reach out to grab it, your fingers brushing against the rough, aged spine of the book.

“you’ve got a lovely smile.” danielle says suddenly, her voice soft and clear as day.

the comment catches you off guard. you turn your head sharply to look at her, your fingers still resting on the book. you heard her perfectly, but still respond, “pardon?” and maybe it’s because you don’t believe it.

“you should smile more,” she continues, her tone casual as her fingers glide across a line of books. there’s a hint of sincerity in her eyes when she meets your gaze again, her finger landing on a text with a leather spine. “it suits you.”

heat rises to your cheeks and there’s nothing you can do to stop the faint blush spreading across your face. unfortunately for you, the light from the large windows at the end of the aisle shines on your features and gives danielle a perfect view of your flustered state. you quickly pull the book off the shelf, turning so danielle can only see the side of your face in an attempt to cover your reaction.

danielle’s smile widens, her eyes filled with amusement. “that’s cute,” she teases, tilting her head slightly. “didn’t know you could be so shy this easily, miss slytherin.”

you huff, avoiding her gaze as you tuck the book under your arm and start walking the other direction. danielle trails behind briefly,  then falls into step beside you.

“we never got to continue our conversation about your game,” she says, sparking conversation. 

you roll your eyes, though your lips twitch with the threat of a smile. “slytherin won. it wasn’t even close.”

danielle gasps in mock offense, clutching at her chest as if you’ve just knocked a bludger toward her. “are you always this insufferable? maybe the rumors about you are true…”

insufferable? if anyone else were to utter those same exact words, you’d spell them. but danielle earns a small chuckle. “only when hufflepuffs make it easy,” you reply smoothly, glancing at her out of the corner of your eye “your seekers and beaters were having trouble—so were your chasers.”

she narrows her eyes at you, but the playful glint in them is unmistakable. “we’re going to destroy you in the next match. kazuha has just been… out of it.”

“right,” you drawl, the corners of your mouth tugging into a toothy smile. danielle has the same exact smile when she notices yours.

as the two of you stroll through the aisles, your conversation flows naturally (but still quiet and on the reserved side), dipping between friendly jabs and earnest remarks. danielle is still talking much more, but you’ve always been on the quieter side, the dynamic fits. besides, you like listening to her—you could listen to her for hours, you think. the tension from earlier dissipates, replaced by something comforting and quiet that feels easy.

for a moment, as danielle laughs at one of your dry comments while approaching the group's table, you wonder how she manages to make even the smallest moments feel magical.

…

you and haerin nod your heads at the others before parting from the group and walking toward the slytherin commons. you notice a small smile from haerin as you two walk back, but you don’t mention it. it seems that haerin’s found a friend, someone other than you. someone other than superficial, stuck-up pure bloods in your house.

meanwhile, danielle and her group walk with hyein to drop her off at her common room first. 

“y/n isn’t that bad, actually.” hyein says throughout the conversation. “and her friend is cool, i like her. i think we can be great friends.”

minji nods. “maybe danielle was right. she’s… really normal. nothing like the rumors…”

“yeah, even i felt kind of at ease. she just kept to herself most of the time. it seemed like she was just there to… i don’t know, be with us. she didn’t mind it.”

danielle beams, “i told you! she has some of those slytherin stereotypes, but she’s really sweet.”

“maybe you’re not insane.” hanni snickers, grinning at her best friend. “i’m down to hangout with her and the fifth year she’s friends with.”

the group continues on, dropping off hyein before they walk danielle last since hanni and minji are in the same house. when danielle is inside, she returns to her bed and lays flat for a bit. she reminisces, enjoying the alone time she had with you and your stance in a group setting. you’re quiet, and observant. that makes you all the more interesting—especially when you decide to speak.

danielle’s spirits are lifted at the prospect of having someone like you in her life.

—

as the year continues, both you and danielle grow closer. 

she learns to slither under your skin, getting you to open up more than before. it starts with the little things, like you admitting that you could care less about certain topics in herbology, visibly showing your annoyance whenever you see heeseung, and even telling danielle brief anecdotes about him during your younger years together. she learns your favorite color, and how it’s actually the color yellow, which might be the reason you’re so tolerant of her. she learns that you’re a sucker when it comes to your pet cat, and that the rumors of you having a venomous snake are completely wrong. she learns a lot about you, but nothing is that deep or personal.

(“he’s shy. he doesn’t like to leave my bed, but he always gets his exercise walking around the commons when everyone is away.” you explain. 

you pull up a small picture you keep with you at all times, a small square photo of your black cat. the quality of it is alright, but it’s enough for danielle to notice how green your cat’s eyes are.

“that’s a slytherin cat.” danielle says firmly, clicking her tongue. “everything about him screams it.”

you chuckle lightly, rolling your eyes. “and what if he’s a hufflepuff?” 

“then i’d take wonderful care of him.”

“i don’t think haerin would like that… she gets jealous.”)

you learn more about danielle too, like how she has an older muggle sister back home with a passion for music, her grandparent’s dogs that she misses, her parents whom she cherishes. everything about her upbringing screams loving, which is probably why she’s full of love herself. she tends to drop stories during herbology about her scary encounters with the plants you deal with, and stories about how it took her a while to get over her fear of being a witch. 

“odd things would happen to me while i was in primary school,” danielle says one morning as you walk to class. “books would float, i could see fairytale-like animals—weird stuff. then i got a letter from some school in scotland—hogwarts—and now i’m a witch.”

you nod, and she continues. that’s how it usually goes.

“i was so scared. for a moment i thought i lost my whole life because i was able to use magic. i mean, i didn’t know a single person who was a witch or wizard. i think i sobbed my eyes out the night before getting on the plane here. they were so puffy the morning after.”

you frown, looking at her with concern. “really?” you ask.

“yeah.” danielle admits. “i decided that there wasn’t anything i could do, i mean, i accepted it—i willingly went to hogwarts after all, even if it was new and terrifying. it felt so scary but so… right? eventually i really wanted to be a witch, but i also had so much fear in my bones. but hey, i put on a smile and made some good friends here. you can’t get over your fears without friends, no?”

“i—” you never really had that many friends until danielle. even before her, it was just haerin. maybe she’s right. “i guess so.”

the two of you walk into potions together, settling into your usual seats by the window that always shines perfectly on danielle. the slight frizz of her wavy hair stands out in the afternoon sun, and her brown eyes light up the room. something you’ve realized after being friends with danielle is that she’s a wonderful sight.

“hey, danielle?”

“yeah?”

“how far is your home? i don’t think i’ve ever asked.”

“you couldn’t tell by my accent?” she teases. “i’m from australia. not too far from sydney actually, a city called newcastle.”

you freeze. “what?”

“newcastle, it’s a bit north—from sydney i mean.”

danielle tilts her head as she notices the change in demeanor. it looks like you’ve seen a ghost, which, isn’t anything special in hogwarts. scratch that, it looks like you’ve just seen a dementor. she turns around to see absolutely nothing, then turns back to you, who seems a bit out of it.

“hey, you alright?” danielle questions, placing her hand on yours and leaning forward slightly. 

the warmth radiating off her hand snaps you out of it immediately. you nod, then stare at your hands a bit too long. “y-yeah, i just, i just remembered something.” you choke out. “sorry.”

“aw, it’s nothing. i thought you saw a ghost, or something scary like a dementor.”

you smile softly, shaking your head and turning to your parchment. “right.”

other than being closer to danielle, you’ve also built a bond with her three friends. you and minji have a very friendly dynamic, with you two treating each other as academic equals—even playful rivals—due to your high markings. hanni, on the other hand, got comfortable with you as soon as she realized there was nothing to be scared about. hanni is known for being a tease, to you and minji especially. and hyein. hyein certainly is something else. she’s this ball of energy that even danielle can’t keep up with sometimes. she’s bright, cheerful, and somehow exactly what haerin needed to start opening up—being her true self. haerin talks more now, even laughs, and it’s mostly because of hyein and the rest.

the change is unexpected and scary, but you wouldn’t trade it for the world. sure, others are critical and still surprised even when winter break nears, but you don’t mind. they’re still scared of you anyway, mainly because heeseung is trying to tear you down. as long as you have you friends.  

for the first time in your six years at hogwarts, you truly feel at home. you feel alright—to an extent.

—

the end of the term is in less than two weeks, which means everyone will be home for the winter. 

your ‘home’ isn’t really all that. there’s no family that awaits, only maids and butlers that greet you with the most respect possible. they’re lovely, of course, but going back to a monotonous life after a life-changing semester brings your spirits down. 

it’s not hard to hide how you feel, but when it’s danielle, it’s much more difficult. she can notice the slightest change in your mood just by the twitch of a lip or the octave of your sigh. she’s attentive, especially when it comes to you.

which is why she’s off to find you not too long after you leave early from a study session, a flicker of hesitance in your features when you were packing your things.

danielle can’t reach you when you’re nowhere to be found, and she can’t ask anyone since they avoid you like you’ll snap any second. she checks near the entrance to the slytherin commons, then some of the halls, and even the classes you two have together. danielle ends up with no sight of you.

not even a second later, a location pops up in her mind,

you always mentioned how much you liked astronomy, even if it wasn’t your favorite. you’d mention how often you frequented the astronomy towers to clear your mind and have some peace when you were troubled, and how it was your favorite spot on campus. 

and when she arrives, it’s not much of a shock that you’re sat down staring out at the sky. 

she walks over and sits next to you, and it seems that you don’t mind from the way you keep staring out at the clouds painted by the sunset. 

“i was looking for you.” danielle says softly, looking out in the same direction. “why’d you leave so early? i missed you. i wanted you there, i always do.”

the words hit your heart weirdly, like daggers being pushed into it but it doesn’t hurt in the way it should. it’s… nice?

you don’t respond for a moment, swallowing shallowly before ending the silence. “i just needed to think.”

“about?”

“too much.” you mumble. there’s too many things racing in your mind: going home, the possibility that your parents will be there, being away from danielle—that one is the worst—and newcastle. newcastle has been lingering in your mind for a while and it’s because of loosened ties. “is your hometown nice?’ you ask out of the blue, catching danielle off guard. “what’s it like?”

“why do you ask?”

“just curious.”

danielle scoots closer so your shoulders brush. she continues to look out as she explains, “well, it’s beautiful. the people are lovely, and the coast is jaw-dropping. i especially love the nature. and also being with my family. i can’t wait to go back.”

a smile graces your lips, it’s bittersweet, sad, and all too much. “that sounds nice.”

“yeah. it is.”

a stretch of quiet takes place, one that danielle doesn’t interrupt. the moment seems too intense, and she can sense that you need it.

“i’ve always wanted to go.” you say quietly.

“you should.”

…

“danielle.” you start again.

“hm?”

“when you told me you were from newcastle, i felt a wound open.” you begin, turning to face her now. “someone i—someone i know lives there.”

“oh,” danielle meets your eyes—-there’s regret and longing. “is that so?”

“yeah.” danielle reaches over for your hand, holding your fingers in her small hands as if she knows whats going on in your mind. you take a deep breath before continuing, “someone i need to apologize to.”

“what?”

“some of the rumors are true, you know. i had a habit of pushing others away, usually not in the nicest ways.” you purse your lips. “i was… i was cruel. until you came into my life i just… i don’t know. i was worse than i am now.”

“y/n…” danielle holds your hand a little tighter, squeezing it reassuringly. “it’s fine.”

“i used to have a thing against muggles. there wasn’t a valid reason for it, i just did.” you admit, your voice so fragile with regret that even the slightest sound could break it. “i’m sorry. it eats up at me, what i used to think and even say sometimes. ever since i met you it’s just… been a guilt weighing me down.”

“that’s not the case now though.” danielle assures. “it’s okay. i know there’s a reputation for muggles that isn’t the best, but as long as you’ve seen through that… it’s okay.”

“are you sure? could i really be changing?” you suddenly ask, vulnerability taking over. “i’ve spiraled so much these days. i keep thinking about if i’ve changed enough, if i deserve to be friends with the rest and most importantly you.”

“y/n, what are you even saying?”

“i don’t know.” you sigh, putting your face in one hand. “sometimes i wonder if i should be able to even be friends with you guys—minji, hanni, hyein, haerin—mostly you. i’m just… i’ve made a lot of mistakes, danielle.”

“and you’ll make a lot of memories to make up for those mistakes in the future. you can’t be stuck on your past.” danielle says, taking your hand off your face and making you look directly at her. “it’s okay, y/n.”

you look at her in a new light now. the words come out of her mouth softly, comfortingly. it seems that everything will be okay because of the way she speaks. and the look in her eyes, the sudden movement of her hand cupping one of your cheeks—it makes you see her differently. 

before your sixth year with her, your heart was parched. dry. dull. it’s like a wave of something warm and soothing has washed over it, giving it a reason to pump and feel. 

“thank you.” you practically breathe out after staring at her in awe. you shake your head now, retracting from her out of instinct. “i’m sorry, i don’t know what got into me.”

“it’s okay to feel.”

“i know, i just—” you cut yourself off, deciding not to finish your thought and instead responding, “i can’t believe you walked all the way up here.”

the astronomy tower isn’t hard to reach. the top of the tower, where all the pretty sights and rougher winds blow are. it’s late now, the sun nearly hidden by the horizon, the winds ruffling your hair a bit more noticeably—and danielle is right there with you. did she really walk up all this way just to see you?

she shrugs. “it’s not too bad.”

you chuckle to lighten the mood. “i’m not letting you walk back down—not at this hour.”

“well i figured i’d walk down with you.”

“so you came here without knowing for sure that i’d be here? danielle…” you sigh, standing up and walking over to your broom standing up against the stone. “let me take you down.”

“on the broom?”

“would you rather we jump off…?” you question with a slight teasing tone. 

danielle rolls her eyes. “you’ve got jokes.”

“i’m still learning.” you say before motioning her over. your broom hovers and you get on, using the tilt of your head as a signal for her to get on. she sits behind you, her hands immediately snaking over your waist and linking with one another to tighten her hold. you feel your stomach doing all sorts of twists and tricks, so you laugh to cool your nerves. “scared?”

“no,” danielle is only lying a little.

“i’m here. just hold on tight.” you look back at her, giving her a reassuring look. she smiles, putting her head on your back and squeezing tighter. 

“i trust you.” she mutters into your robe.

you nod, taking off slowly, but picking up the pace shortly after. instead of darting straight down, you take a more leisurely route over the lake, which urges danielle to pull away just a bit to get a glance of the moonlit river. she smiles as you hover over the water, your reflections rippled on the surface. how wonderful, danielle thinks. 

she rests her head against you again with much more comfort and less stress now. she uses you as a sort of pillar, a headrest as she holds onto you. you smile when you feel her arms tighten, not wanting the moment to end.

it doesn’t take long before you reach a certain window near the hufflepuff commons, helping danielle off and into the building. she dusts her robe as she glances back out, giving you a bright smile. 

before she closes the window, she peeks her head out. “i enjoyed that, thanks.”

“yeah, no problem.” you say, adjusting your seating on the broom.

danielle holds onto the window frame before she adds, “you can always talk to me, y/n. i care about you more than you know.”

your lips purse into a smile, your jaw relaxes, and you nod. “yeah, thank you. i hope you know that i feel the same.”

and with that danielle grins widely, before closing the window, leaving you outside and in place for a good minute to process everything. you think about how easy it is to be vulnerable around her, how easy it is to be you, and how content you’ve been feeling ever since she’s been in your life. it’s then that you realize what you feel for her is too strong to keep in the back of your mind. and it’s just as scary as it is strong and overwhelming.

—

when finals come around, you’re spending a lot more time away from danielle with your head in the books. this isn’t only because of finals, it’s also because you’re going to have to go home soon. “home.”

the cherry on top is that heeseung is coming with since your parents are going to have dinner together, catching up and discussing the term—but mainly business. you don’t need any spell or scroll to predict your future, you already know there’s only sorrow ahead. so for now, you’ll focus on passing your classes, mainly so you can have some time with danielle.

throughout this time, you and danielle share a lot more moments alone. walking in the empty halls after class, meeting before quidditch matches, and even when you’re not physically next to each other, there are those shared, knowing moments of eye contact from across the dining hall. 

the worst moments, though, are during quidditch matches. you figure she’s doing it on purpose, to distract you with her big, brown, and sparkly eyes so hufflepuff can score. second to this might have to be during class presentations; sometimes you’re up in front of the class and folding just because danielle’s eyes meet yours.

but now that’s come to and end, since finals are all over and everyone is stress free for the break. everyone but you.

danielle makes you forget that you have to go home with heeseung tomorrow. she’s dragging you by the hand, her skin soft and warm as always, and leading you somewhere ‘special,’ as she says.

“it’s way better at night,” she says matter-of-factly. you chuckle, following her down a little trail that’s on a hill right outside the woods. 

she sits down right on a big boulder, scooting over and patting down space for you before looking right up at the sky. the stars are scattered over the dark landscape, shining and dimming right before your eyes. you glance back at danielle for a moment, noticing how she shines just a little brighter than anything up there.

“at my house there’s a balcony that gives a really great view of the stars, the city, and everything that’s pretty.” you break the silence. “i live in oxford, so there’s always something going on in the town. lights still shine in the streets, sometimes i can hear the faint tune of street music from my house that’s up on the hill.”

“that’s lovely y/n.”

“yeah, but,” you look down at the gravel under your feet. “that’s the only good thing about home.” 

danielle frowns, grabbing your hand with hers. “hey, maybe one day you can come over to my hometown. maybe this summer?”

you smile at the idea, being with danielle someplace far from home. anywhere with her would be nice. “i’d like that.”

she sighs happily, leaning on your shoulder and tensing up a bit. “it’s cold.” she giggles, “still haven’t gotten used to the winters here. it’s never colder than ten degrees back home, and that’s in the winter. when i go back it’ll probably be twenty degrees minimum.”

a small frown takes over, you slip off your slytherin scarf and adjust it to cover danielle a bit more. it fits her quite well. “keep this on for now. i’m, um, used to this weather since i live in england.”

“did you always live there?”

you shake your head. “no. i’ve moved around a lot because of my parent’s work, but it got tiring. they purchased a place for me.”

“all for you?”

“yeah. i…” you don’t know how to word it. “i guess they just care about me when i’m doing something that fits their image. oxford is very academically rich so… they thought i’d flourish there, kinda.”

“y/n…” danielle frowns, moving her head away so she can look at you with a sort of pity. you’re not really fond of the look until she holds your face in her hands and it’s far too intimate to the point where your heart is beating against your ribs. “parents shouldn’t be like that.”

you don’t respond, instead tearing up just a bit. danielle sees your waterlined eyes, then pulls herself closer to embrace you in a hug. you freeze in the moment, but immediately after you completely melt against her. your hands press into her curly hair a bit, your nose in the crook of her neck as you sigh,

“i don’t want to be away from you, danielle.”

“then come with me.”

“i can’t.” you say defeatedly, feeling your heart sink.

—

the next day, danielle gives you a big hug in front of heeseung before you two depart. heeseung grills you about your friendship with a “mudblood” the whole way back to your home. it’s not the longest journey back on the train, but every second spent with him around makes you want to cast a menacing spell.

and when you arrive back at your place with heeseung trailing behind, you speedwalk toward the entrance and head to your room as quick as you can, eager to stay away from him. you get at least two minutes of peace before it’s interupted again, hearing someone shout your name from the first floor.

you walk down the steps hesitantly, now clad in more formal attire. you’re met with your parents, who don’t even smile at you, and heeseung’s as well. you nod at them politely, moving over to stand beside your parents before everyone meets at the dining table.

not a word is uttered from you the whole dinner. heeseung sits across from you, which makes the expensive dish on the table unappetizing. your parents discuss some business, something about funding for the ministry of magic and hogwarts—you could really care less.

you’re snapped out of your thoughts when your name is suddenly called, shooting your head up at the person who said it: your father.

“i would assume your term has been going remarkably well, yes?”

you nod. 

“top of the class?”

you nod again.

“you should ask her about her social life, sir.” heeseung butts in, making your head turn sharply at him. you meet his eyes, which are piercing right through you. don’t, you try to say silently. heeseung simply smirks, taking another bite of his steak. “she’s made new friends.”

“is that so?” your father says with a hint of venom. “that shouldn’t be a problem, unless they’re distractions.”

“they’re not.” you assure firmly, biting the inside of your cheek.

“a muggle.” heeseung practically spits. “she’s made a muggle ‘friend.’ a hufflepuff, might i add.”

everyone at the table has their attention on you now, confusion and near disgust in their features.

“what are you doing talking to such individuals?” your mother scoffs. “a hufflepuff? why are you wasting your time talking to those at the bottom of the chain?”

“they’re not.” you reply with a surge of confidence. “they’re driven and excel in their classes. this ‘hufflepuff’ is more of a wizard than half the stuck-up slytherins.”

“pardon?” your dad says, seemingly seething. “how dare you speak on your own house like that?”

“are you mad at me for telling the truth? how about you ask heeseung about how he’s been doing in his classes—or how he never fails to give up points in quidditch.” you say angrily, standing up now. “don’t act like you care about me in the slightest when i’m just a mere business strategy, something to keep the family name going.” you set your utensils down, pushing your chair in before walking off. “i’m leaving. thank you for the dinner.”

—

you get into a heated argument with your parents after, something about how you’re too pure for muggle filth. it disgusts you, makes you want to throw up. they tell you that you need to focus on your studies and stop fooling around, and you respond with silence.

an even more severe argument with heeseung starts not so long after. your wand had been at his throat, your words deathly, threatening. he’s never seen you so serious, and you’ve never seen him so scared. it was quite a start to your so called ‘break.’

the rest of the winter was spent alone. your parents left with a disappointing energy lingering around them, one that made the maids and butlers shiver. you didn’t mind, though, because what could they do to you? not much, for sure. 

you spend time painting, a little hobby you picked up as a kid when studying became boring and repetitive. it was your comfort zone, something you could do for hours on end and the best part about it was that you were quite excellent with the brush. and through everything you were doing to pass time, danielle was on your mind. you missed her, you missed her more than anything and it physically pained you.

—

one night, just past the middle of the break, an owl shows up at the balcony you had told danielle about. you’re stargazing when the brown feathered bird shows up holding an envelope, dropping it on the ledge before departing with a chirp.

you quirk your brow, reaching for the envelope and opening it curiously. there’s a colorful piece of paper inside with a variety of stickers adorning it. you smile softly—maybe the first smile the whole winter. well, other than when you would catch yourself grinning while thinking about your memories shared with your friends, with danielle.

the letter reads,

hi y/n! i hope you’re doing well :)

i miss you a lot! so much. i’m back home spending time with my family, some old friends, and hanging out near the coast or the little trails. i often find myself thinking about you, if not all the time. i wish you were here right beside me. but we’ll see each other again soon!

i hope you’re doing well, tell me how oxford is! i heard it’s quite scholarly over there, haha. i told my father that you live there and he looked shocked! he seemed in awe. i really hope you’re alright, i wish i were with you. 

the main reason i sent this was because i couldn’t stop thinking about you. it feels off being without you. let me know how you’re doing, i hope this reaches you well. newcastle is pretty far from oxford, but this owl (according to a wizard i met at the post office—the magical one, of course) is quite the traveler. apparently that little guy can travel across the world in just a day! how wonderful is that?

anyway, after you’re done reading this, i hope you’ll send a response back. i miss talking to you, i miss you (as if i haven’t said it enough). let me know how your break is.

yours truly,

danielle marsh <3

p.s. there’s some pictures i took on the disposable! and i snuck a little timtam in there–an australian little treat. it’s dark chocolate, just how you like it miss slytherin ;)

a wide grin spreads across your lips as you read through, and then you read it again, and again, and again… lingering on each moment she says “i miss you.” and that’s truly because you miss her too, maybe more than she misses you.

you pull out the other items in the envelope, three pictures that all have little notes on the back. the first image is the beach, it’s beautiful and bright. it reads “my favorite place :)” on the back. 

the second image is of a town. there’s buildings and shops in sight that glow in the sun, and everything about it seems warm and comforting. on the back, it says “a lovely place for a stroll and some yummy ice cream, crepes, acai bowls—really anything sweet and delicious! they have a place that sells some wizarding food, but it’s only accessible to people like us. i went in briefly, they have chocolate frogs!”

and finally, the third image is just a picture of danielle with some slim fit jeans on, a slim fit t-shirt, and a denim hat posing with a peace sign. she’s smiling brightly, making you do the same, even chuckling. the background displays some sort of body of water, maybe a lake, and the sun is setting in the background. you can’t help but stare a little longer at her, thumb brushing over her face lightly.

“when i took this, i imagined you right there next to me. that’s why my smile is so bright.”

the maid catches you smiling at the letter, and as if it were contagious, she finds it spreading to her too.

—

your next winter break activity is in session. you take the maids and butlers by surprise by throwing on a coat and your comfiest dress pants as you tell them, “i’ll be back by the evening,” and leaving with a wave, a smile, and an odd spark in your eyes.

the first stop is your favorite library. you walk around, memories flooding in as you scan the shelves. you often frequented the romance section, always getting lost in various novels and pretending to not be enamored by the tales. you sneak a picture of the main area where the university students always studied. it’s large, beautiful, and meticulously arranged to captivate anyone at first glance. 

the next stop is a little park area that you would sketch at. it’s sunny, which is rare, so you take the chance to capture the once-in-a-blue-moon moment. the sun is a contrast to the naked trees, the lingering snow from days before, and everything that could paint the scenery mellow. it’s pretty, it’s wonderful, it’s like danielle.

you walk around and around trying to find another place, but there are too many options. you’re also a bit tired from walking all around the city, making your way through the city and its shops until the sun starts to descend slowly.

when you get back home, the maids and butlers greet you respectfully, asking questions like “do you need help with your coat?” and “how was your day, miss?” which you respond to casually. after your term at hogwarts, all this respect threw you off, especially since you’re not that prestigious in your eyes. you’re just a seventeen-year-old girl, really.

as the sun disappears, you stand at your favorite balcony looking over the city. it’s quiet, you like that. the chill of the winter tints your cheeks, nose, and ears pink as well. there’s tranquility in moments like these.

the idea hits you while the stars shine above. you reach for your digital camera, then call for a maid. she’s there to assist as fast as she can, wondering what she can do to help. you catch her completely off guard when you ask for a picture, simple as that.

“is that it miss?”

“you can call me by my first name. and yes, that’s all.” you assure, nodding at her before walking back to the balcony. “i just need it to catch the view well, and myself i suppose.”

next thing you know you’re standing by the edge, leaning against the sturdy guard. you position yourself, but hesitate a bit.

 “is this alright? i just need my waist and up—i think. do you have suggestions?”

the maid halts for a moment, then motions with her hand. “miss—ah. i mean, y/n. scoot this way a bit?” she suggests, so you scoot to the left a bit. “there. the view is much more visible like that. are you ready?”

“yes.” you answer. you offer a big, toothy smile and look at the camera. it flashes, you blink, and then you walk over. “did it turn out alright?” you question, “do i look nice?”

“y/n, you look wonderful.” she gazes at the picture in admiration, grinning to herself upon seeing your rare smile. “you have a wonderful smile.”

“is it… pretty?” there’s a lack of confidence in your question to which the maid responds with a nod.

“very beautiful, dear.”

a soft sigh leaves your lips, a sigh of relief. “that’s great.”

—

a few days later danielle is sitting on the rocking chair on her porch. there’s a vhs tape connected to her headphones, something old and nostalgic from her dad’s drawer. she’s looking out, not at anything in particular, and thinking of you.

and as if the universe read her mind, an owl stops by. it sits on her mailbox, chirping once and catching her attention immediately. she walks towards it, then grabs the envelope sitting in its beak. it hums when danielle pets it fondly, praising it before it flies away. 

(danielle still doesn’t know how it’s possible for these owls to travel so far… maybe it’s the magic?)

she sits back down where she was before, thankful for the light above her porch illuminating everything. she opens the envelope, taking out a piece of parchment and three printed photos. the corner of her lips tug upwards almost immediately. 

danielle opens the letter first, her smile widening when she sees the proper, perfect handwriting.

dear danielle,

i hope this letter finds you well. 

i hope you’re alright. i received your letters not too long ago, and they really made my night. i really appreciate that you took the time to create and send that to me. i love it. 

these days i find myself thinking of you all the time. i can’t help but miss you every second, as crazy as it sounds. we’ve only been friends for a bit, but i hope you know that you’re one of the few people i cherish the most. i appreciate you more than letters can express. 

my life isn’t too crazy. i’ve been studying, reading, and painting—a hobby of mine that i haven’t shared with you yet, i think. anyway, i just wanted to say i miss you. i already said it, but i really do. thinking of you is getting me through this break.

i hope you like the pictures i sent. oxford isn’t as exciting as australia, at least in my opinion. but there are places that i adore, and so i wanted to share them with you too. enjoy. 

yours,

y/n l/n

then danielle flips through the pictures, all while grinning like an idiot with a strangely warm flutter in her chest. she looks at the first one, a picture of a library and a note on the back that reads: my safe place. it’s huge here, and the books are lovely. i think you’d get lost here, haha.

the second picture is of some park, the sun shining beautifully in the background. on the back it says, “oxford isn’t usually sunny. i’m lucky i was able to capture this sight. the sun reminds me of you.”

and the third picture makes her eyes slightly waterline. she’s looks at you posed in your balcony with a beautiful backdrop of stars, the city in the background lit up with small dots of light from lamposts and buildings. and you. wow, you. 

danielle stares for a good moment. your cheeks and nose are a bit red, most likely from the cold. your smile cools her down when the summer breeze blows. she’s never been so captivated before, not by someone's smile, words, or anything like that.

you’re something special, danielle says silently to herself.

—

you’ve never been so excited to go back to school in your life. 

platform 9 ¾ is filled with parents and their kids bidding farewell before the next semester starts. you’d be by danielle’s side in a heartbeat, but the exchange students from abroad have to take a different type of transportation. 

haerin, however, manages to find your seating area despite not having contact with you the whole winter. she sits right in front of you in the booth, giving you a small smile. you mirror her.

both of you catch up briefly, listening to her talk about her trip to korea and the states. you tell her that you didn’t do much, just painted and walked around.

(leaving out the part about danielle and your letters. something in your chest tells you she’d tease you about it, or make some comment that makes you rethink a lot of things.)

the trip to hogwarts isn’t long, but it seems like forever in this specific moment. 

when you reach the campus, you get off quickly with haerin. you two walk beside each other, your demeanor is less intimidating and more eager. there’s a relaxation in your features that wasn’t there before, making you seem a little less like your rumors. haerin laughs when you scan the area intensely.

you don’t see danielle as everyone piles in, you don’t see her in the dining hall—somehow—but you do run into her once all the ‘welcome-back’ ceremonies are finished. the two of you catch each other in sight simultaneously, visibly lighting up before rushing over to hug one another. 

danielle crashes into you, her arms wrapping around tightly. “oh my god! you’re alive! i missed you so much.”

“i missed you too, danielle.” you mutter into her hair. she smells like violets, daisies, vanilla, and everything nice. 

—

the rest of the year is fine. it’s great. better than great.

it’s not just because heeseung is out of your life, barely making eye contact with you or even interacting unless it’s against his will. but the fact of the matter is: you and danielle are glued to the hip, seriously. you’re always with one another, especially during your classes and really anytime that’s not spent away. she rambles, you listen. you stare, she still rambles. it’s a routine, it could be a lifestyle for you, that’s for sure.

throughout your year, there’s something that wasn’t there before. or maybe it was, but just not palpable like now.

haerin is the first to notice. she catches your stares while the teacher is talking, how your fingers somehow end up twirling a piece of her hair without thinking, how soft your gaze gets with danielle. she notices everything. 

it’s not just you either. danielle stares at you like you’re the world, looks at you like you’re more precious than anything in the universe. she’s touchy too, in general but especially with you. she also looks at your lips from time to time, compliments you differently than the others, and there’s even moments that are really questionable. there’s something there, something more than friendship in the air. 

haerin fully realizes it when the class is outside to meet a hippogriff. on the way there, haerin catches danielle plucking a flower from the ground and putting it in the pocket of your robe. you do the same, but instead of placing the flower in her robe, you brush her hair behind her ear and place it right there.

a lightbulb shines above haerin’s head: you two are in love.

—

“y/n,” haerin asks one afternoon as you walk down the corridor. “how do you feel about danielle?”

“oh, she’s lovely.” you mutter softly. “why?”

“how do you feel about her.”

“haerin, what?” you raise a brow, looking at her skeptically. 

“what do you feel while you’re around her?”

you find yourself blushing and looking down at the ground. “um. well, happy? i don’t get why this is—”

“what else? i know there’s more.”

“haerin—” you start, but sigh. “she’s nice. i like being around her. i don’t know what you’re getting from this.”

haerin stops in her tracks, making you turn around when you’re two steps ahead. she’s giving you this scrutinizing gaze, looking through your skin, past your bones, into your heart. 

“you like danielle.” she states. “you love her.”

you’re quick to defend yourself. “what kind of assumption is that?” you scoff, shaking your head. “you’ve gone mad… haerin. let’s get back to the—”

with a swift movement, haerin uses her wand to cast a spell on you. it makes you shift over to the wall, your back pressing against it harshly with added pressure. “don’t give me that.”

“what’s gotten—”

“you deserve to revel in these feelings.” haerin says, stepping closer. “i’m sick and tired of you ignoring things like this. first it’s being friends, then it’s opening up, and now? y/n, you two are such stark contrasts that it only makes it all the reason for completing each other.” 

you shiver, and so does your breath. haerin’s noticeably shorter than you, but it feels like she’s towering over you with her stern tone and serious look. you gulp. she’s not wrong, when has she ever been? it’s sudden, out of nowhere, and really shaking you up. it takes a while for you to process.

“so what if i’m in love with her?” you nearly whisper. “my blood is tainted, poisoned, and undeserving. being friends with danielle is enough. i don’t need to be pursuing further, i’ll taint her too. she’s pure, sweet, and everything i’m not. i can’t do that to her haerin. it doesn’t matter what i feel.”

“well it doesn’t matter what you think of the matter.” haerin pushes her wand right on your sternum, making you stiff in place. “stuff like this isn’t avoidable. it’s inevitable.”

you bite down and tense your jaw before breaking eye contact with haerin, feeling defeated. 

—

the crowd is roaring while gryffindor and slytherin dual on the field. it’s a highly anticipated match since the rivalry is tense, so each and every house is invested. danielle seems to be distracted from the fact that one of the slytherin’s had just scored, because she’s watching you display that small, signature smile that occurs every time slytherin gains a point.

minji and hanni are next to her, somehow managing to sit with a different house with the help of hyein. danielle’s attention is on something completely different, which is noticeable when she doesn’t cheer when everyone else does or looks on edge when things get heated. her friends catch on quickly, exchanging a knowing look as they lean forward, their expressions mixed with curiosity and mischief. 

“are we watching the same game?” minji asks right into danielle’s ear. “because it seems like something—someone else has gotten your attention.”

hanni laughs, nudging danielle by the shoulder. “you’ve had your eyes on slytherin’s keeper the whole game.”

“i— no!” danielle responds defensively. “i’m not. the game is so… entertaining.” she adds, trying to lie her way out.

“who scored last?” minji asks, to which danielle responds with a clueless look. she opens her mouth to speak, but nothing slips from her lips. she frowns.

“right…” hanni teases. “you’re in love with her, aren’t you?” 

“i’m not in love with her!” danielle responds, shaking her head. she rolls her eyes before insisting, “let’s just watch the games. you guys are being fools.”

“uh huh.” minji snickers.

throughout the game, danielle really tries to focus on whatever is going on. heeseung is floating around or whatever, nearly scoring and then not. one of the gryffindor’s, jungwon, scores and you look all angry when he does so. it’s mildly attractive to danielle, and it shouldn’t be. but the way you bite your lip out of frustration and fly back to your position—yeah, it’s got her attention back on you for the rest of the game again.

…

after the game, danielle meets you down near the field. she’s with minji, hanni, and hyein, who’s found haerin along the way. 

you emerge from the exit, your uniform slightly battered, your hair ruffled, and skin shined with a thin layer of sweat. there’s something about it that makes danielle’s knees slightly weaker. you make eye contact with her then, the exhaustion in your features slipping away and a more relaxed, but still stoic, expression on your face. your lips nearly curl into a smile.

“great game!” danielle beams, walking over to you.

“i could’ve done better.” you sigh, disappointed by the loss. gryffindor won by a mere ten points, a score that you nearly prevented. “it was alright at best.”

“don’t be so harsh on yourself. you’ll get it next time.”

“yeah, for sure. we’re going against hufflepuff. there’s no way we’ll win.”

“hey!” she playfully punches your shoulder, making you laugh quietly. “you only won by twenty points last time.”

“and we’ve always won against you guys.” you say brazenly. 

“whatever.”

“right. well, i’ll see you later. i’m gross at the moment.” you mumble, running a hand through your hair and the action itself makes danielle blush. “bye.”

“bye.” danielle bids farewell with a smile. she turns back to see her friends—including haerin—giving her a knowing look. there’s a heat in her cheeks that’s visible, earning a pair of raised brows from minji and hanni.

she’s not beating any allegations.

—

by the time your sixth year ends, the feelings you two harbor are almost unbearable. you can’t stop thinking of her, glancing at her lips, absentmindedly playing with her hair—and too much more. it’s clear as day to your friends that there’s something more, but you can’t do that to her.

danielle’s been fond of tracing patterns into your skin during lectures—under the table of course, where not a single person will notice. you get used to the feeling of her fingers on you since she’s so touchy. you also learn that the dip of where your neck starts is danielle’s favorite place to lean on. its really overwhelming, this ‘friendship’ that’s been blossoming into something dangerous.

and what’s more dangerous is that danielle doesn’t forget her suggestion from before winter break. she says to you one day during a group trip to hogsmeade, while you’re trailing together on your own away from the group, “come to australia with me.”

it takes a moment for you to respond, but you eventually do so. “i thought you would’ve forgotten about that.” you wish she had, even if you certainly hadn’t.

“never. i’ve been thinking about it all semester.” she admits bashfully. “i want you to come.”

“danielle…” you trail off, kicking a stone on the ground. should you be able to do so? or would your blood taint the ground that her sun shines on. the ground that she shines on. “i, i don’t know.”

“what’s stopping you? is it that person you mentioned”

it’s a lot. you want to spill everything out: the conflicted feelings, how shameful you are to be you, and everything else that’s scattered throughout your mind and tormenting you. maybe it’s internal, maybe everything is just in your head. being with her at every location she sent in the envelope sounds like a dream. still, something is gnawing at you from the inside. “there’s… there’s nothing.”

“then come.” she says it like you have no choice. you really don’t have one when she gives you that sincere, longing look. 

her eyes seem to shine, glowing under the rays that brighten her features. you can’t help but sigh, “alright.”

—

the end of your sixth year is a bit more overwhelming, much more emotional for sure. everyone is focused on what they can do for their future, their plans for the new year, which means everyone’s bracing for big changes. 

your friend group bids their farewells, wishing you a wonderful summer and hopefully for everyone to meet at some point before the upperclassmen’s last year. danielle is at your side whole time, the farthest she would be is arms length while she’s hugging everyone before walking off with you.

you’ve bought the tickets for the flight back to newcastle, which almost didn’t happen because danielle nearly fought you for it. you had to explain to her that it wouldn’t dent your pockets—your parents’ technically—multiple times before she calmed down. 

the two of you board together, blending in with the muggles and catching a few older wizards here and there. danielle gets the window seat and you sit in the middle. the universe also seems to adore you, making it so that there’s no third person in the row. just you and danielle. 

the plane starts to shift, then it rolls forward, faster, and starts to take off. 

…

everything around you is muted as if the world has lost it’s color. you turn around trying to make sense of everything, but your environment is still like an old, faded photograph. it seems like you’re in the middle of a scene, not part of it but watching like an invisible bystander. you feel powerless, you can’t move.

a woman appears first, her silhouette framed against the backdrop of a coastal town. there’s a baby girl in her arms, the expression on her face is a mix of resolve and heartbreak. you blink and the scene changes immediately, your father—or at least a younger version of him—standing tall and cold. his voice is sharp as he dismisses the woman and her child.

“this,” his eyes dart between the woman and her child. “cannot go on. we’re cutting ties, no questions asked. my relations with a muggle like you can’t be revealed.”

his words sting even though they’re not directed at you, and the finality in his tone sends a chill down your spine.

the woman doesn’t argue. she clutches her daughter tighter, walking away without looking back. even in your place, you can feel the weight of what was left unsaid, the bitterness and pain that she’s carrying. your father shows no remorse, watching until they disappear, then turning and walking back into the shadows.

the scene shifts abruptly, and now you see the girl. she’s older, around eleven, standing at the entrance at hogwarts in her hufflepuff robes. her dark eyes are identical to yours, and right now they’re filled with wonder and nerves. her mother’s encouragement echoes faintly in the air, but it’s her determination that shines the brightest. she strides forward, her head held high, and you can’t help but feel a strange sense of pride.

time skips again. the girl grows up before your eyes, excelling in her studies, earning her prefect badge, and finding joy in the company of a slytherin girl whose hand she holds with quiet affection. yet, there’s a shadow that follows her—a secret she keeps buried deep. there are times when she’s looking into the mirror, her dark eyes staring back, and you can sense her bitterness toward the man who abandoned her, the man whose features passed onto hers. she has only heard of this man from her mother, seen him in old pictures and articles, but still, there’s a strong resentment.

soon, she’s at the corridor at hogwarts. it’s eerily quiet, the torches casting a light that flickers on the stone walls. your father is there, older now, but no less imposing. the girl rounds the corner, her robes swishing softly. when they lock eyes, both sets widening at the same time, the resemblance is striking—so evident that it momentarily stuns them both.

your father asks, “who are you?” his voice low and sharp.

her response is firm, the kind of tone that eliminates any doubt. “i think you know the answer to that.”

the silence between them is suffocating, and your father’s face hardens as if refusing to acknowledge what’s in front of him—who’s standing right before him. he turns on his heel, walking away without another word, leaving the girl standing alone. her shoulders straighten, and though her expression stays calm, you can sense the hurt radiating off her.

the dream shits once more. the girl is older now, maybe in her early twenties, smiling softly as she tends to a row of vibrant plants in a greenhouse alongside her fiance–the same slytherin from before. it warms your heart just a bit. they work together easily, the love they’ve built together and partnership palpable in the way they move around each other.

but then, a wizarding newspaper flutters into view, the headline catching her eye: “l/n’s revolutionize wizarding curriculum with bold new reforms.” as she studies the accompanying photo, her gaze sharpens. your face—from when you were around twelve or so—stares back at her, animated within the frame. your dark eyes, so much like hers and your father’s, flicker with life. the girl’s breath catches.

again, the scene dissolves. you look around to see a large estate, your family’s home in oxford. the woman stands at the door, hesitant but determined, her wand tucked securely into her coat pocket. she knocks, and the sound reverberates like thunder on a stormy night. 

you’re pulled closer now, the dream drawing you into the moment. your point-of-view is switched, now you’re transported to a memory you remember in fragments. you’re thirteen and waiting for the butler to open the door, curious as to who’s here so abruptly. your parents are in the dining room, so they don’t see the woman walking through. she looks curious, hurt, and when her eyes land on you—there’s a glint in her eyes.

“i think i’m your sister.” is the first thing she says. she says it as if sighing from relief, like dots have connected into one big picture. 

she walks closer, you hesitate and step back. there’s something in her look that reassures you, gives you a sense of comfort and security. the butler quickly rushes over and grabs her wrist, viewing her as a threat until you motion for him to back down. 

“that’s not possible,” but in the moment, you really think it is.

before she can add on, your father appears. he’s seething. 

…

you jolt awake, your chest tight and heart racing. you place your palm over your head, shut your eyes, and attempt to calm yourself down. you stay in place as the revelation presses down on you, the pieces of your family’s secret suddenly so much clearer. 

you figured out about your secret sister in that moment during the dream, remembering it much more clear now. you remember your dad scolding her, nearly hitting her until she draws her wand out. you shiver remembering everything. 

she’s the person you should have apologized to as soon as she was sent out. you remember the longing and care in her look when she turned back to see you one more time, then left without another word. you wanted to run out after her, apologize for not doing anything, and simply talk to her. that woman is your sister, the sister you played bystander for while your father yelled the most unorthodox curses at her. 

now you’re on the plane back to where she lives, which you only know because she managed to slip a small note before she left. an owl delivered something that same night, only a note with a number and an address. you rub your face with one hand, realizing that the other is occupied.

looking down just a bit you catch sight of danielle. she’s fallen asleep next to you, her breathing slow and steady, her head resting on your shoulder comfortably. her arm is linked with yours loosely, and you instinctively move it to hold her hand again. her touch is calming, making you forget your dream just a bit. a surge of confidence courses through you, urging you to press a light kiss on her head.

you fall asleep quickly after that.

—

you land without any detailed dreams. danielle stretches her arms before you two wait to leave your seats and grab your luggage. she walks down the aisle first and you follow her out, hands meeting one another once you’ve stepped into the airport.

shortly after (almost too quickly) you meet her parents. they’re bright and cheery just like her—parents beaming like this had been foreign to you. they greet you kindly, hugging you as if they’d seen you before. you melt into it, tears welling. 

the drive back isn’t too long and you enjoy every second of it. danielle’s pointing out some of her favorite aspects of the scenery, sharing some short stories, and her parents start a simple, yet lovely, conversation that everyone joins in on. you’ve never felt so at ease.

when you get to her house (danielle had to fight you (again) to convince you to stay there. you argued that you could spend the whole time at some hotel, but danielle did not approve at all) she leads you in happily. she leads you to her room which sparks the revelation that you’re going to be staying in her room. most likely sleeping in the same bed as her. your heart rate speeds up. 

she helps you with your luggage, setting it down in the corner before flopping onto her mattress tiredly.

“it’s so great to be back.” she sighs joyfully. “come lay with me.” and you do so, setting yourself down delicately since you’re terrified of disturbing anything. 

“we’re sleeping… together?”

“yeah, on my bed.” danielle turns her head to meet yours. “it’s a queen, so it’ll fit us wonderfully.”

for sure, but there’s a light hunch that tells you danielle is going to be in your space. you’re not sure if you can handle that while conscious.

“it’s comfortable. your room, your family, um, everything.” you mutter.

“that’s how it is here.” she mumbles quietly, staring at your lips dangerously. you bite down before looking away, getting up and examining her room to save yourself from the strange feeling in your stomach.

“your room is really nice. it’s so you.” you say as you look over to plants on her windowsill with leaves that spill onto her shelf. it’s quite saturated, bright, and lovely. it really is her. the scent of it is also just like her—sweet, floral, and soothing. “makes mine seem a little dull,” you add, picturing the monotonous space for yourself back home.

“i bet your room is lovely.” she argues while sitting back up. “hey, let’s go eat something. i think my mom saved us some yogurt and fruit. we can make something yummy for that! oh, i wonder if we have granola…” she’s already up and going, urging you to follow her out.

—

time spent with her is extremely calming. there’s a unique peace that comes with following her around, conversing freely, and staring at her face when she’s not looking. the thud in your heart is always banging against your chest when she’s near, always warming your cheeks up. you try not to mind.

(you focus on the way danielle interacts with the cashier, handing her a few bills and smiling from ear to ear. she compliments the cashier, spreading her contagious bubbly energy. everyone is smiling: danielle, the cashier, and you. 

danielle has this weird thing where she can light up the room by just breathing in it. she steps in and it’s sunshine and rainbows.)

but even through these moments there’s always a lingering weight. the dream you had on the plane still sticks, and you’d be lying if you hadn’t searched for the address on the sticky note you received from your sister. it’s a twenty-minute drive from danielle’s place and closer to the beach, practically on it actually. the proximity keeps you awake at night even when danielle sleepily drapes her arm over your body while unconscious.

one night, when danielle’s closer than before—you notice that she’s always closer with each night, her head resting on your arm and hand brushing against your forearm this time—you’re unable to sleep. you keep your eyes closed for the longest time, try counting sheep, thinking of the good, and still, you’re fully awake. it’s terrible since the sleepless nights start to seep into the day, your energy lower with every twenty-four hours that pass. danielle notices, but you make excuses saying it’s the time difference despite adjusting the second day in.

the real problem is that your sister is here. you’re up late at night thinking on what to say to her, how to apologize, and whether you should see her or not. 

your curiosity gets the best of you.

you slip away from danielle slowly, replacing yourself with two of her pillows before heading out. the door creaks and so does the floor, but everyone seems to be deep asleep. and so, you head out the back door, call a cab that surprisingly is still available at two in the morning, and head to the address you’ve memorized from reading it over and over and over.

…

the cab dropped you off quicker than the gps said it would. the house in front of you is on the smaller side, perfect for a family of three or four (if the two are willing to share a room). the wind brushes through the greenery that decorates the house, emphasizing the beauty of it. 

you walk up the steps, though not without hesitating, and stop at the doormat. you raise your fist to knock lightly, second guessing because one: it’s late. and two: you’re terrified. your heart is beating out of your chest and not in the way that it does when danielle’s around, you might hurl.

but before you can even move your hand, the door opens. a woman appears in a tank top and shorts, the same woman from your dream.

“you’re actually here,” she looks at you in shock, though there’s a sense of relief, maybe joy even. “you have dad’s eyes.” she says lightheartedly. 

your lips part as if to say something, but you can’t. you stare at her, she has dad’s eyes too. she has a lot more than just his eyes. there’s also a youth to her features, dark hair tied up into a lazy bun, and a face that screams ‘family.’ there’s also tattoos on her skin, small ones of plants, and others that you can’t make out in the dark. you also notice that she’s a bit shorter than you, maybe shorter than danielle.

“come in,” she says, opening the door wider and gesturing with her hand. “it's chilly this time of the year, especially at night. our seasons are flipped compared to europe’s.”

you nod, walking inside. she turns on a light and the earthy tones of the house are all visible now. the light is warm, dim, and highlights her features more as she sits down on the brown couch. you opt for the singular seat diagonal from her. 

“tea?” she asks, to which you shake your head. she smiles softly, examining you close. “you’re not much of a talker, are you?”

“i just… don’t know what to say.” you admit, your voice low. “how did you know i’d be here?”

“i had a dream.” she starts, “you were in it. you were the main character actually. i was a bystander as i watched you roam around newcastle with this girl, and then i saw you on the way here. dreams are magical like that. everything is.”

you nod, taking everything in. you still feel stiff, but not out of place.

“do you remember me?” she asks.

“i do.”

“that’s a relief. i wish i’d gotten the chance to talk to you more before… father intervened.”

“i’m sorry.” you suddenly say, feeling helpless. “i should’ve done something. i wanted to. i tried to push that moment down and i just couldn’t. it used to linger in my head and mock me. even while i was here i couldn’t sleep knowing you were here. i’m sorry, i should’ve stepped in—”

“hey, hey.” she reaches over to pat your knee, then stands. “come with me to the kitchen, i’ll make you some tea.”

now you two are in the kitchen. she’s leaning against the counter while pouring some hot water into a mug with chamomile in it. she hands it to you, you take it and stare at the water. she sips, then continues.

“don’t be sorry. it’s not your fault. there wasn’t anything you could’ve done anyway. you were young and it was all abrupt.”

“i wanted to run after you. i just wanted to talk to you even for a bit, but i couldn’t find the confidence to.”

“and that’s okay.” she assures, sipping again. “your father is azazel l/n. his first name is evil itself.” she says half-jokingly. “speaking of names, i never knew yours. it’s funny, kind of, how i have a sister and know nothing about her. not even her name.”

“it’s y/n.” you state plainly, sipping on your tea for the first time. 

you’ve known that you had a sister ever since that moment, even your father couldn’t deny it. you had asked him who the girl was and if she really was your sibling, to which he responded with a blunt “it’s not a matter you should focus on,” which basically meant “yes.”

“beautiful name.” she says. “my mother named me after a flower that can bloom at night.”

“primrose?” 

“close! it’s jasmine, although i’m impressed with your guess.” she giggles while looking at you with a love in her eyes that you’ve never seen before. “my mom named me after it because she really likes the tea, but also because even in darker moments, i can still bloom.” 

“that… that’s really beautiful.” you respond with admiration. “i um, i had a dream on the plane about you. i know it sounds weird but, i don’t know. i think your name suits you very well from what i’ve seen.”

she smiles then. you catch yourself grinning just a little bit too.

the rest of the hour is spent catching up. your sister asks the questions, you answer. the two of you find yourselves back on the couch sitting next to each other now. she’s reminiscing back on her years at hogwarts, laughing about how quick the sorting hat was to put her in hufflepuff. her radiant energy is so similar to danielle’s that it’s almost uncanny. she tells you about her time growing up as a muggle and slowly learning she has something else in her blood. she tells you about your father, her mother, and everything outside and in between. she tells you a great amount.

but there’s something different in her expression when she starts to talk about her wife. her smile grows, she relaxes into the cushion, and her tone is much more… adoring.

“we met during our second year. i almost ran into her with a broom and she got real mad at me.” she laughs, shaking her head. the moonlight’s rays seep through the windows and reveal the faint blush on her cheeks. “i did everything i could to apologize to her, or at least get her to smile. she was so blunt and, well, slytherin back in our earlier years. i got through to her eventually, and we became really good friends. there was a terrible divide with the houses back then, so it shocked everyone.”

“there was?”

“yup. and this leads to when i realized i was in love with her. she was so different, i mean, all the slytherin’s i knew would kind of bully me. i was strong, so i endured it easily. one time a slytherin was real mean to me, so mean that my wife stepped in and gave that guy a good punch to the face. she looked back at me then and i realized how much she meant to me.”

“was that it?” you question with a curiosity that wasn’t in your previous replies. “what else made you realize.”

“i think i’ve always been in love with her, maybe since i nearly crashed into her.” she chuckles. there’s stars in her eyes and she sounds like a romance lead. “you don’t really realize it until, well, it hits you like a bludger. my friends noticed before me though, there’s a look that gives it away.”

“a look?”

“yeah. like heart eyes in those cartoons. hey, you seem real interested in this.” she giggles, then turns her head as she sits up with a realization. “are you in love with someone?”

you blush. “what? i don’t— i’m—”

she notices how easily you’re flustered upon hearing the question. you’ve only met briefly and have shared your life stories in the quickest way possible, maybe that one is a little more personal. so she saves you from short-circuiting. her question is answered with your reaction anyway. 

“i’m only teasing.” she says, yawning. “hey, it’s late. i can drive you back to where you’re staying. is it a hotel?”

“oh, no. i’m staying at a friend's place.”

“ah, okay. let’s get you back, it’s four and you’re still awake.”

—

your sister stops right in front of danielle’s. on the way back she’s asking about your studies, your friends, and a lot about you since she had talked about herself more at her house. you answer casually and yet your sister seems amazed. you laugh for the first time and your sister revels in it. your heart feels heavy with something you’ve never felt before. you assume that it’s the feeling of what it feels like to be loved unconditionally, with no expectations or anything, just love that exists because you’re family.

“hey, tomorrow—or, well, today—come over to shop. it’s down the road from my house, a ten minute walk down the right. maybe less than two kilometers? just walk down, and when you see a ton of plants you’ll know where you’re at.”

“i will. i’ll have to ask my friend, i think we’re hiking or something until late afternoon.”

“that’s perfect then!” she beams. “bring something to swim in, the beach is a short walk from there. bonding time, you know?”

“yeah, got it.” you mutter. “i’ll see you.”

“see you, my little sister.”

you give her a hug and she smells exactly like her name—jasmine. she bids you farewell and you do the same, then head towards the back of the house to come in the same way you left.

when you reach danielle’s room again, the door creaks just as it did before. you cringe at the sound, which is much louder than before. danielle shifts just barely, but it seems like she’s still asleep. you get into bed, moving the pillows you used as a replacement and slipping back to the same position you were in before.

“where were you?” danielle says softly, sleepily. “the pillows aren’t as comfy as you.”

shit. you’re caught off guard, feeling your throat close up a bit. “i, um.” you try to find words, but it’s hard to explain years of a secret all while danielle pulls you closer like you’re her teddy bear. “i went to see my sister.” you say, because what else is there to say. 

danielle stays silent for a bit before snuggling even closer. “okay.” she murmurs against your skin. “tell me more tomorrow.”

“okay danielle.”

—

tomorrow comes, you’re in the car with her parents and squished with her and her sister in the back. her parents hum along to the song on the radio and her dad talks about how he wanted to buy it on vinyl when he was a teenager.

during the hike you often get alone time with danielle. she doesn’t question the whole sister ordeal and instead takes as many pictures she can of you, but eventually she does mention it.

“so, you really have a sister?” she questions as she takes a picture of the view, looking into the screen of the digital camera to take a look.

“yeah.” you reply while staring out into the distance. “she invited us over to her shop, if you’re willing to go with me this evening.”

danielle looks up and right in your eye. “i’m willing to go anywhere with you.”

—

the walk from your sisters house to her shop is just above ten minutes, which gives you enough time to explain the sudden information about you having a sister. danielle frowns hearing some of the parts, especially anything including your dad, but smiles when she hears about the reconnection—and how much you look up to her despite only knowing her very briefly.

the building is surrounded by plants, there’s even plants decorating the exterior as well. the sign on the door reads ‘closed,’ but when you approach and knock twice, jasmine is right there to open it for you.

“there you are!” she greets, then looks at danielle. “you must be y/n’s friend, yeah?”

“yup! i’m danielle, nice to meet you! she told me about you on the way.”

“wonderful! come in, come in.” your sister directs you two inside. both of you are immediately struck with awe upon seeing the beauty of the interior. it’s green, bright, and smells wonderful. there’s a variety of plants that danielle’s eyes sparkle at, she even makes that high-pitched sigh she usually does when she sees something cute or cool. your sister smiles, nudging danielle. “you can explore all you want, we’re closed. there are wizarding plants in the back portion of the place if you want to check them out, but be careful of course.”

danielle nods eagerly, it’s cute. you grin as you witness her curiosity get the best of her, watching her happily.

your sister notices this, narrowing her eyes slightly while a subtle smile tugs at her. 

it isn’t long before you meet her wife, who’s taller than your sister but still shorter than you. she has softer features but more serious energy, a slight contrast to your sister. she greets you warmly as if you’d met her already. and then you all head out, but not before danielle snaps a few pictures of both muggle and wizardly plants.

your sisters wife luna (her name a perfect pair for your sisters) shares a few stories about your sister, herself, and really just anything. she talks less than your sister, but everything she says is worth listening to. you all find yourselves at the beach not too long later, setting down a blanket before your sister runs off with her wife hand in hand. 

it’s then that danielle urges you two to do the same, grabbing your hand and pulling you up on your feet. you giggle before running toward the water, with her, your feet sinking into the sand where the waves brush over. danielle’s talking about how nice the water and weather are, or something. you really can’t tell because she looks gorgeous in the moment. you can’t believe she just looks like that without trying. 

“tired?’ your sister asks as she sits down next to you on the towel. you two are watching as luna takes pictures for danielle, helping her with poses and timing each jump before capturing the moment. “you should get lots of sleep tonight.” your sister advises.

“i will.” you respond, your gaze still on danielle.

your shoulders relax, your eyes soften, and you smile to yourself. jasmine nudges you, making you hum in response.

“you’re in love with her, i can see it in your eyes.”

“what?”

“that’s the same look i gave and still give my wife.” she chuckles, turning back to look at the two. “she’s just as in love with you.”

“you don’t know that.”

“i can tell just by how you two interact. she reminds me of how i was back then.” your sister sighs. “and she’s looking at you now,” you turn to look over, and your sister is right. danielle is looking right at you, walking up and waving for you to come over. “go take a picture with her.”

“do you really think she likes me too?”

“she doesn’t like you, y/n. she loves you. i don’t think just anyone brings their friend over for the summer—well, winter—back at their home. she adores you, i can see it in her eyes too.”

you give her a skeptical look, pursing your lips and sighing before you get up. you give your sister one last remark, “i trust you.”

she laughs. “i’m glad.”

—

after the sun completely sets, your sister and her wife tap out early. they tell you they’ll wait back at their shop and say they had to clean up a bit—but you can tell there’s another reason they left you alone in the look they exchange. 

now it’s just you and danielle sitting on the towel covering the sand. your hands prop yourselves up and you two are staring towards where the sky meets the sea. it’s a little cold, so you give danielle the light jacket you brought. 

“i’m really glad you came, even if you weren’t a hundred percent sure you wanted to.”

“i— what?”

“you hesitated. you always do.” she says plainly, crossing one leg over the other. “but i’m glad you went through for me. i appreciate it. you mean the world to me, you know?”

“you mean the universe to me, danielle.”

“yeah?” she questions, turning to look over at you, her eyes glossy with the moonlight.

you nod. your fingers crawl over just barely to meet hers. “i just, i think about a lot of things and most of the time it’s you. you’re someone i’ve grown to care about a lot. i don’t think i’ve met anyone like you.” you begin, voice soft, fragile, and sincere. “you made me realize that there’s a lot of good in this world. there’s a lot of good in my life that i never knew could be there.”

“there’s good around us all the time. i’ve always been surrounded by that, but when i ran into you i knew there was ‘great.’”

you chuckle, then. it’s a weird statement, but so sentimental that your heart aches a bit. 

“y/n.”

“yeah?”

“i always thought you were really cute.” danielle is staring down at the sand now, growing shy. “you’re the prettiest person i’ve ever met, inside and out.”

“i think that way about you too.”

“really?” she asks.

you nod. 

“danielle.”

she hums.

“i love you.” you breathe out, “i love you more than anything.”

danielle responds by leaning in for a kiss. all you can imagine is doing this over and over again for the rest of your life—her lips on yours, hand on your cheek, and scent overwhelming your senses. for the first time, there’s not a single doubt in your mind, nothing to make you spiral, just the thought of her and her only. 

she pulls away to smile at you. a small smile, which is rare for her. but this one is a little toothy, and similar to a warm embrace. you lean in again, then, and kiss her once more.

“i love you too.” she says while her hand slides down to the base of your neck and yours tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “i’ve loved you since the first time i caught you smiling in the library.

danielle eagerly presses her lips against you again, albeit a bit more aggressively this time. her arms wrap around your neck and she keeps you close, your forearms holding both of your weights as you kiss and kiss again. and this is what love is, you think. it’s the prettiest girls lips on yours, her wavy hair in your hands, her muttering something adoring in between kisses, and everything else that happens with danielle. 

—

you spend the rest of the break with your sister, her wife, and most importantly danielle. the two of you frequent their shop, the beach, and danielle’s porch. 

the porch is freeing, you spill secrets and confessions that have been sitting inside of you waiting to be released. you tell danielle that you don’t really care about whatever your last name holds, about your passion for painting, and how you want to live a relaxed life. nothing big like your father. you tell her about how the sorting hat nearly sorted you into hufflepuff, and how you managed to get sorted into slytherin all because of your determination to make your father proud. you tell her about regrets, worries, goals—everything. and danielle listens, she listens to all of it while her hand is linked with yours, or her head is on your shoulder. or both.

danielle’s there for you and you’re there for her.

then the break ends, your days of freedom and messing around—and nights spent unable to part from one another, hands roaming and lips puffy. you two bid farewell to danielle’s family and yours, then head back on the plane back to hogwarts. you don’t have a strange dream this time. everything you’ve been spiraling about isn’t a worry anymore. you’re content. you’re happy. you’re ready to face anything that’s in your way.

—

your last year of hogwarts starts off with your friends pretending to be surprised that you and danielle finally confessed. haerin teases you, but not nearly as much as hyein and hanni. they especially tease you when danielle is caught giving you a peck on the cheek before and after classes when you two have to part ways. it’s grueling sometimes, but who cares.

heeseung is out of the picture. he ignores you completely, but there’s a slight air of jealousy that comes off of him. you couldn’t care less, not when danielle is always at your side.

and time flies quickly, the end of your last year coming to an end. hyein is devastated that her friends are off to the real world, but of course you all assure her it will be alright. the six of you spend your time goofing around here and there, sneaking out, hiding in corridors before the janitor catches you—just living. you never would’ve guessed that you’d make it here, that you’d branch out and turn out completely opposite to how you started.

when you graduate, you cut ties with your parents completely. they’ve never supported you unless it was in their favor. of course, they were furious. they scolded you, expressed their disappointment and everything else. you simply took it and left with your things, moving on with your life without them. your life with danielle and people who loved you unconditionally.

—

—

—

you’re nineteen now and living with your sister in the spare room of her house. your room is cluttered with various art supplies—acrylic paint, oil paint and pastels, canvas’, pretty much everything you could find in the craft store. fortunately, you’ve made a good amount of money with your hobby, selling a few pieces online and at flea markets by the beach. a few of your works make their way over to your sister's building, hanging above tulips and beside mandrakes.

your days are peaceful, with no OWLs to prepare for, and nothing heavy on your shoulders. the most you worry about is figuring out which movie to watch with your girlfriend or what you should cook for dinner on certain nights—scratch that, the biggest worry is definitely the possibility of the tentacula in your sisters backyard snapping out of nowhere.

but really, you’ve spent your time painting, creating, and loving. everyday is spent with danielle, you make sure of it. she has her own mug in your sisters place, a signature side on your bed, and the biggest space taking up your heart.

“i just remembered something,” you mumble to danielle. the only sound heard is your breaths mingling together while you two are tangled in danielle’s bed. 

“what?”

you laugh lightly. “remember that rumor about me pushing a girl? i think it spread during our third year or something.”

danielle’s drifting off to sleep, her head on your chest, blinking slowing down—but she still hums in response. 

“it wasn’t a girl i pushed—it was heeseung.”

you feel danielle giggling against you before she shifts over to press a lazy kiss on your neck. “that’s so dumb.” she mutters almost incoherently.

“yeah. i just remembered it randomly.” you respond, the drowsiness getting to you. “am i keeping you up?”

“no,” she sounds like an alarm had just annoyed her awake. “i like when you talk like this.”

“you like it so much that you’re about to pass out?”

“mm.” she sighs, shifting one more time before pausing completely, the only movement being her heart against her chest. 

how this happened is still a blur, your time with danielle and her charm that reeled you in (maybe she casted a spell on you, you think. but then you think again: she is the spell). but when your days end like this, with her sprawled over you; there’s no one else that could bewitch you like her.

[canihaveacalmtime]

"Here's your hot cocoa, have a good evening!"

You receive your drink as you bow, thanking the employee and go outside to find a seat. As you sat next to a decorated christmas tree, you look in front of you and see a giant build board printed a familiar face on it.

Should you be proud to know that your memory is very good because you could recognize your highschool bully?

Probably not, haha...

You take a sip of your cocoa, thinking about what had happened in the past between the two of you.

--------------------------

It's like any other highschool bully story that everyone always read, during your first year, you were picked on by the richest and the most handsome guy in school and he forced you to do his homework everyday for 2 years. Tormenting you in the halls, drag you out whenever his mood isn't it, making you a laughing stock for the whole school.

But why only 2 years? Because everything went upside down for him when the last year started.

His parents had enough of him and brutally cut off his bank account, told him that either he learn how to work hard or he'd never get his hands on his father company. When he thought that his long time friends would still be there to support him through this, they quickly turn their backs on him upon knowing that he has no use left to them.

During the time he was at his worst, you stepped in and offer him a helping hand, telling him that you will help him with everything for this last year and in return, he must comply with your one request and can not decline.

He was wary at first when you suddenly did that but he had no other choices as there was no one else except you that would help him anyways.

And he was not disappointed for trusting you, you supported him through every single thing, improved his grades making him in the top 50 of the school, engaged him in participating in that model contest and also fulfil the role of being a friend that he can rely on.

When the school year end came, it was also time he hear your request. You couldn't remember much about anything other than what you said, you can't remember how the scenery looked like, what the principal was saying on stage, even the look on his face because after you said it, you left immediately.

"Let's never cross paths ever again in this life, that is my request."

--------------------------

You realized that your cup is now empty just like how the streets are also beginning to be, so you throw the cup into the trash can and walk home.

You wonder back to the times when you were teaching him the subjects, you would sometime catch him staring in an obsessive way at you but you didn't really care back then because your hatred for him was too much but now that you moved on, you wonder why he was staring at you like that.

"He also said something after I left that day but I couldn't hear what it was.." You mumble as you step out of the elevator to your apartment only to be greeted with a door that is not locked at all.

Your movements were hesitant, slowly, you open the door with cautious as you also carefully step inside your home. Right after you had closed the front door, a sudden sting on your neck send you off balance, fall into someone's arms and fainted immediately.

"Come get me at the apartment now." The tall figure said through a bluetooth headphone device on his ears.

Your bully smile down at you with a creepy smile, inhaling your familiar scent as he hug you close and tightly around his arms.

"You can tell me to do anything, give you anything, to die even. Anything but letting you leave."

--------------------------

After they said those words, my world seemed like crashing down on me in seconds.

I guess I have no other choice but to fulfil a different request from them in the future then.

"I shall have you in my arms when we meet again, love."

--------------------------

(ayy pov change :D)

[simmplerussiangirl]

Her Princess

Part one

Ambessa Medarda x Reader

Synopsis: The only daughter of the Ras family is exchanged with the Medard clan for a peace treaty. Thanks to her pride and the hard core inside her, she doesn't falls into despair and continues to live. She continues to live to take revenge on her family for literally selling her to a clan of enemies.

word count: 1.6k

cw: selfharm, hatred, aggression, death, defiant behavior, Ambressa is a sweet bun.

Part One

- Princess Ras, you are invited to the throne room.

 I knew this was going to happen. I was informed about this three nights ago, but my heart still did not believe that my own family would do this to me. Of course, we were not an ideal family, but rather the most ordinary, aristocratic one. With an infinitely angry and indifferent mother who hated her daughter, with a tyrannical father who, like the mother, did not participate in the child's life in any way because of his busy schedule and unwillingness. It seemed to me that we were not a bad family anyway. I guess I was just imagining it.

 I got out of bed, straightening my clothes.

I was wearing a light burgundy dress, the hems of which moved from any wind current, it was spectacular, just the kind I needed. And also, more importantly, it was in the colors of the Medard clan. I wanted my parents to realize that I knew. I knew what was going to happen today. But, nevertheless, I forced them to make that cherished speech on their own, looking straight into my eyes.

As I walked along the corridor, I took one last look around my ancestral mansion. There was no fear inside, I knew I wouldn't be killed or tortured. Firstly, I am quite a valuable exhibit because of my abilities. Secondly, I would kill myself faster than anyone would want to bring me harm. I will not allow myself to die at the hands of the Medard clan. Never in my life will I allow it. I will not give such joy.

 A flame of hatred burned inside me with every step I took. Each heel strike against the marble floor was accompanied by a strengthening of inner resolve.

 Disappointment at what they'd done to me. It hardened me even more, preventing me from crying or fleeing. Rather, it pushed me to think of new ideas for revenge.

 I felt more and more confident, clutching the amulet around my neck that I'd inherited from my late grandmother. It carried no magical potential, but when I touched it, I felt myself fill with the strength to go on. To go on, no matter what. 

Already standing at the door, I was brimming with determination. No blade, no arrow, no word could break me, shake my confidence.

-Princess Ros. - I entered the hall with my head held high and shoulders squared. I wore a mask of infinite calm on my face.

 The room was quiet. There were no whispers, no sighs. There was no sound at all, even the ever-noisy clock mechanism was silent, and no candles crackled in the candelabra. Everything froze, as if at a funeral.

 The clack of my heels was like a hammer hammering nails into a coffin lid. I stopped in front of my parents, who were now sitting on the throne. But this time I didn't bow, just stared at them as if they were dirt under my feet. In fact, they were now. I had lost all respect for them, and even the thought of bowing to them made me gag. From this moment on, they were no longer my family.

 Behind me I felt Medard's warriors, led by Umbressa herself. I could almost physically feel their gaze. Uncomprehending, even stunned by my antics. I wanted to shrink and cower under the oppression, but I could not allow myself to do so.

 I looked at my father, who opened and closed his mouth, staring at my clothes in shock. It was beautiful. Watching the echoes of realization appear on his face. That I knew everything. Just waiting for him to ruin his daughter's life with his own hands. When he literally sells her out.

- "In the war with Noxus," his trembling voice broke the silence of the hall, and I saw him wince at his own weakness, "we lost too many soldiers, too many civilians, too many resources. And we made the decision to retreat, to sit down at the negotiating table. And we came to the conclusion that we would end the war and sign a peace treaty. On the condition that we give Clan Medard something of extraordinary value. Something that could replace our territories.

  My father stared at me unblinkingly as I stood there, smirking in his face. But what was going on inside of me...A storm of emotions, my chest tightening, tugging as if I were about to pass out. I wanted to cuddle up to someone and cry at how painful and hurtful it was to hear those words. To realize that they see me as a resource to be exchanged for something.

-Ambressa,- my father finally took his gaze off me and looked somewhere behind me. - I'm handing you my only daughter, Sophie. She is naturally endowed with an extraordinary gift of magic. I am sure she will be useful in your future operations.

 I heard measured footsteps behind me. Soon two of Medard's warriors appeared beside me and were about to take me under their arms so that I would not run away, but I just looked calmly into the eyes of one of them and shook my head slightly. They immediately lowered their hands without touching me.

 Ambressa stood a little ahead of me, her back covered in a multitude of scars that stood out strongly in white stripes on her skin. I looked at her with mild interest, for this was the first time I had ever seen someone so strong, much less a girl. I smirked at the thought that she could take on our soldiers by herself and not even get tired. Surprisingly, I felt nothing for her. No emotion whatsoever.

-I accept this...an offering of sorts. It was an interesting negotiation, glad we all got what we wanted. As of this moment, the peace treaty is now in effect. Have a good day.

 Without bowing, the girl turned and walked away from the hall. One of the warriors gently touched my shoulder, hinting that it was time to leave. But I had something else to do.

-Can I say goodbye to my parents? - I turned my head to the side, looking at the wall instead of at the general. My pride wouldn't let me turn around to look her in the eye.

-Of course we'll wait. Family is sacred.

Ambressa laughed a little at the comicality of the statement. I, too, smiled a little and began to slowly and quietly climb up to my parents, who were sitting on the throne. As soon as I reached a flat surface, my mother approached me.

-It's best for all of us, - she said dryly and unemotionally as always. Mother pressed me lightly against her, patting me on the back and pushing me away, as if my embrace and closeness might stain her.

-Absolutely.

It hurt to hear that, but I buried it deep inside me, not letting any emotion come out. Someday I'll cry about it. Someday, but not now.

My father came over to me, pulling me quickly against him. I smiled a bloodthirsty smile, anticipating my actions.

-I want you to know, - I spoke softly in his ear, hugging his back, - I've wanted this for the past few years. I've literally dreamed about it. - I knew my father didn't know what I was talking about yet, but that was just for now. - Remember when you told me that everything in the world boomerangs back?

 Quickly using my magic I created a fiery dagger that was suspended in the air. I heard a commotion nearby and sharply plunged the dagger into my father's heart. The man instantly collapsed in my arms and I threw him to the floor, a small trickle of blood flowed from his mouth, quickly drenching the expensive uniform, the floor and the hem of my dress. I instantly created an air shield around me and my father, which helped me protect myself from my mother, who was already running to her beloved husband in tears. Either wanting to kill me or spend the last seconds of her life next to him, looking into his eyes.

-So your boomerang didn't go as far as you thought.

 I saw the light of life go out in his eyes, but he couldn't even say goodbye to his wife because I wouldn't let him.

-I hope you burn in hell.

I felt my mother begin to thrash into my shield and saw my mother take her last hoarse breath and close her eyes. I, still remaining infinitely calm, got to my feet and took small steps down the stairs. I walked with my head held high, hearing my own mother's curses and hysterics behind me. I walked straight toward Ambessa, who stood with an impenetrable face. The girl might not have expected something like this, but at least she didn't show it.

 As I approached her, she held out her hand to help me down the stairs. I put my hand in hers.

 My life has changed 180 degrees in just a few minutes. I was traded for a peace treaty, I killed my own father, and I'm going after the girl who ruined my life. This is not how I envisioned my future.

I would be very grateful for feedback, as English is a language I am only practicing. I accept criticism in a milder form, do not break my heart, pls.

[galaxiasgreen]

🍭☀️A Cruelty Vivid and Sweet

Slow burn angsty Ominis x F!Reader [T-Rated, 7.8k words]

Letting himself embrace this horrid part of his heritage terrified him. It was like being back in the cellar again, that Muggle writhing beneath him in pain, his parents and brother lauding his name. Gaunt. No matter what he did to unbind himself from the bloodline, always it came back to shackle him. Always, it answered when he didn't call.

In which, even after he broke your friendship, Ominis can't get you out of his head.

Tropes: angst/ romance/ drama, slow burn, black cat x golden retriever, opposites attract, forbidden love, Scriptorium quest, Muggle culture, Your Scent in the Amortentia, Going Feral when You're Hurt, Comforting You When You're Sad.

[MASTERLIST][PREV][NEXT] [read on AO3, read on Wattpad]

2: When Everything Changed

You didn't speak to him for a long time.

Justifiably, Ominis knows. It's one thing to insult, degrade, demean someone, but something else entirely to diminish their very existence, to reduce them to flesh and bones and happenstance. You were Muggle-born, he was pure-blood. Your friendship together was as tenuous as life itself.

You didn't deserve risk, so he steeled his heart, his mind. He moved through the struggles of fourth year silently, like a wraith, participating only when needed. A clock was ticking for summer – he couldn't spend the entire holiday at Feldcroft, though he longed for it, though Sebastian offered. When the dread of it came, thick and drowning, it was the thought of you, what he was doing ultimately to protect you, that eased the pain. He didn't realise how deeply you had planted your vines inside him, so that everything he did now, anything he felt, or touched, or tasted, reminded him of you. You were ingrained, and no matter how hard he tried to uproot you, you would not wither.

Perhaps this was his reality now. Perhaps he would never speak to you again.

Naturally, fifth year changed everything.

The new school year rang with tension. A goblin tyrant, Ranrok, sought vengeance against wizardkind, with his influence strongest around the Scottish Highlands, scattered around the hamlets around Hogwarts. His plans were unclear, just another thing Ominis worried about, massaging his temple on the walk up to school for the first evening.

Sebastian wasn't in a talkative mood. He'd come to verbal blows with his uncle that afternoon, when Ominis was packing and keeping Anne company. Their voices were so raised they could be heard in the entire village.

"Stop getting her hopes up! For goodness sake, she's cursed. At least let her enjoy however long she has left in peace, without your meddling!"

"Meddling?" Sebastian scoffed. "She's my sister! I'll find a cure for her—"

"If St Mungo's Healers can't do it, no fifteen year-old boy will either."

"You might've given up, but I haven't."

"I've stopped trying to fill her head with false hope and nonsense!"

Anne's lethargic sigh had pulled Ominis away. "I'm so tired."

"You should rest."

"No." She fell back against the pillow. "I mean, of their arguing."

Truthfully, Ominis was tired of it too. He heard enough hatred at home, the few lonely weeks he had to spend there before absconding to Feldcroft. For the most part, his parents ignored him, though there were days they dragged him to dinners or parties with the other pure-blood families. He made sure to give the Malfoys as wide a berth as possible, even though Peregrine didn't bother him again.

"Can you promise me something, Ominis?" Anne had asked.

He'd pursed his lips. "That depends on what it is."

"You'll keep an eye on Sebastian this year." A wry laugh. "A metaphorical eye, that is."

He always intended to. The darkness was offering Sebastian solace, and he feared his best friend was diving down a path from which there was no return. How far would he be willing to go for Anne?

"I'll do my best."

"And... and talk to Gibby."

He hadn't heard your name all summer. It sent a frisson through him, equally terrifying and pleasant, and made to leave before an inevitable interrogation—

"Please," she said, stopping him. "Sometimes family isn't blood. Sometimes family is heart. And she is as much a part of yours as the rest of us are."

Yet, when he left with Sebastian an hour later, he adamantly reminded himself why he made that pact in the first place. He could not— would not talk to you, and rub raw a healing wound. Things were simply too dangerous to risk it, if not from Peregrine Malfoy, then from one of the other pure-blood families, the Lestranges, the Blacks, or the Fawleys.

When he and Sebastian arrived at the school, sun hushing the horizon, Ominis paid no mind to the knowledge that you were there, somewhere at the Hufflepuff table, enjoying the start of term without him. He took his seat next to his best friend and expected the same opening speech, Sorting Ceremony and feast.

Only there was one thing different.

Missy was what everyone called her. The nickname was sparked by rumour, as thick as honey – unlike yours, spurred by your actions, your quirks, Missy's had come before her, on the train up to Hogwarts, where all the fifth years spoke of a new student starting this year under the mentorship of Professor Fig.

Staring school so late, with the support of a prominent Hogwarts professor? That was unusual, she was unusual. A mystery.

Only when she appeared at the Sorting Ceremony, late, it was apparent she was anything but.

"There she is," Nerida crowed in the hum of chatter. "The new girl!"

"Her hair is amazing," said Violet, awed.

Ominis heard the new girl – like you, she had a distinctive set of sounds he could use to distinguish her from others. But unlike you, however, there was no naivety, no jolliness or upbeat wonder. There was only purpose, strong with each stride and levelled breath. Even as the interloper, and a late one at that, she acted like she already belonged.

His heart ached suddenly – the memory of the Undercroft tore at him, and he fought to keep it down, push away the strange sensation that came with thinking of you.

When the new girl was sorted into Slytherin, she sat next to Sebastian. "Hello." Her voice was distinctive too, well-spoken, eloquent, from wealth.

"The mystery student," Imelda said, clearly more impressed than she let on. "The whole year's been talking about you."

"Have they?" She didn't seem bothered by this at all. "Is that what I am? A mystery?"

"A real lady of mystery," said Sebastian, equally intrigued.

"Oh," said the mystery student, chuckling – Ominis caught threads of a sinister undertone. "I'm no lady. Miss is just fine."

"Well, then, Miss Mystery," Sebastian teased, "welcome to Hogwarts."

Ominis was too polite to ask what her real name was. It was too late now, anyway. The nickname stuck like mud, too fitting for a girl with an air of something otherworldly and powerful to be displaced. Your laughter bubbled in his head – maybe she would come to love the nickname as you did.

But there was no point thinking about you anymore. No point imagining what the future beheld for you.

Later that month, Ominis asked after what Missy looked like, if only to build a better picture of how different you were to one another, but Sebastian had only laughed.

"I'd tell you, but she changes her hair and eyes every day. Always in Snelling's Emporium. And her robes – she's never wearing them! Every class we go to she just puts on capes and hats and all sorts. It's a mismatch."

A very strange girl indeed, but not in the same way you were, in the same way you still are.

As the air began to chill, Ominis felt the change in his friend like frigid air on bare skin. He was warming to the new girl, more rapidly than Ominis expected – she invited him to Hogsmeade, joined his secret duelling club, stole him for night-time escapades and thirsted for knowledge only he could give. It seemed harmless enough at first, but the new girl had a particular sway, popular but not needy with the attention, mysterious but still generous with her time, and genial with her friends. Especially with Sebastian.

Worst of all, you were becoming her friend too. She was like the replacement for what you'd lost.

"Amortentia." Professor Sharp's voice carried through the Potions classroom one day, as October crept up the front lawns. "I'm sure you're all familiar with this, but for our new student's sake, could someone please refresh us on its properties?"

Unsurprisingly, Garreth spoke up. "It's the most powerful love potion in the world. It smells different to everyone according to what most attracts them."

"Very good. This is a potion we will be learning to brew in seventh year. As Mr Weasley has said, this is the most powerful love potion in the world." The last part he emphasised seriously. "It is not to be trifled with. Today, we will be brewing weaker love potions, but I am allowing you all to see for yourself the properties of Amortentia, so that you may recognise it outside the classroom. Dare I say, so you can protect yourself should anyone try to use it on you."

Sharp allowed them to gander at the potion as they brewed their own. The fifth-year girls were most excited, and as Ominis prepared his ingredients, the Hufflepuffs plus Missy headed up to the main station to have their turn.

Of course, you were amongst that group.

"Well, Missy?" you asked, as eager and animated as he remembered you to be. "What does it smell like?"

Missy took a whiff, then laughed.

"Secrets."

"Secrets don't have a scent," said Lenora haughtily.

"They do to me." She stood back, let you go ahead. "Go on then, Gibby, your turn. What does it smell like to you?"

Ominis struggled not to listen.

"Sweets." Of course it did. "Magic. You know, just the general scent of it. And..." Your voice turned tart. "Oil."

The giggling ceased. "Oil?" asked Adelaide.

"Oil," you confirmed, in a way that brooked no space for discussion.

What an absurd thing to find attractive. Did oil even have a scent? He pondered on this for a while, trying to untangle its meaning until their potions were neatly bubbling and Sebastian nudged him out of his thoughts.

"Want to go up next?"

They went after Everett declared his favourite scent to be broom handles ("Probably because that's the closest thing he'll ever get to a girl's touch," Sebastian muttered). Already the aroma was drawing him closer, a pleasant tickling like a silk robe on freshly bathed skin.

Sebastian inhaled deeply.

"Hmm."

"Well?"

"Old parchment," he said, "and hair dye."

Hair dye? "I've been told you were starting to grey."

"Funny. No idea why it smells like that."

But Ominis did. Just an inkling, anyway.

"Your turn." His friend stepped back. "You more than most anyone to know what it smells like."

Perhaps nothing, he thought in vain. It was a folly to think himself above such emotions. In fact, though his family may have tried to beat it out of him, it took strength to admit he had such a weakness at all. Since his sense of smell was more acute than most, it would've been strange, perhaps concerning, if there was no scent to the Amortentia at all.

So Ominis leant forwards and inhaled. The aroma was so heady he could get drunk on the smell alone.

"Honeysuckle," he murmured, probably because they grew around Feldcroft, and the memories were something he cherished. "Polished wood, like in a wandshop. And something... sweet." It was a sudden overwhelming note, and his voice grew hoarse. "It's very sweet. Something like—"

He iced over.

Strawberry laces.

"Something like...?" Sebastian said. "Your face has gone red."

"What?" Ominis drew back, willed the scent to disappear. "I— I don't recognise it."

Sebastian didn't say a word at first. Then came the insufferable chuckling beneath his breath.

"Ah, wait. Sweet, was it?"

"I said I don't recognise it." And when Sebastian went to speak again, Ominis quickly snapped, "Not another word."

But he knew, when his friend lapsed into contented, smug silence, this was by far the last time they'd have this conversation.

Without meaning to be, without even being there, you were a cruelty, vivid and sweet, and no matter what he did, he was powerless beneath your spell.

But with tensions rising in the world, he could not afford to think about you. He couldn't afford to think about what your scent in the Amortentia meant for his confused, muddled feelings.

By chance, he got the opportunity to think elsewhere the next day, when a letter arrived – from Gringotts, of all places. The braille glided beneath his fingertips, and he realised it was a will, his Aunt Noctua's will. It was getting to the point where she'd been missing longer than she had not, and his parents had finally bowled through solicitors and admin to snatch the last of the pittance from her vault. With no next of kin, she had given most of it to Ominis, though the money wasn't actually his until he turned seventeen.

Truthfully, the worst part was he could barely remember Noctua's voice anymore. He wondered constantly where she had gone, why she'd left him with her horrible brother and family. Once when he was eight, when a hopeful innocence still sang through him, Noctua had come to watch over him as his parents and siblings attended a society event in London. A pure-blood ball, he was told. Adults talking about adult things, how dull. As the youngest, Ominis hadn't been permitted to go, but he didn't mind so much when he got to spend time with his whacky aunt.

He was practicing his braille as Noctua tidied about the room.

"They'll be back after sundown," she was saying, "so make sure you're finished before then."

"Isn't it midday?"

"It's one."

"So I have lots of time."

"Yes," she said mirthfully, "but I want to take you to the village later today."

The village? "That's the Muggle place, and Father says I shouldn't go near them. They're all stupid anyway. Like pigs."

"Is that what he said?"

"Yes."

A creak as she sat on the bench next to him. Her hand ran down his back.

"You should know, Ominis, that not everything your father says is true. Muggles aren't anymore stupid than wizards are. They're hardly different from us at all."

The comment, harmless in retrospect, felt like an affront to everything Ominis knew. "But they don't have magic. That makes them stupid."

"It doesn't make them stupid. You don't have your sight. Does that make you stupid?"

"No," he said at once, indignant.

"So you understand. What we have and do not have doesn't matter. It is how we choose to live that does. In the end, we all return to the earth in the same way, flesh and skeleton."

That didn't make sense to him. "But how do they do anything if they don't have magic?"

"Well, you're learning your braille now, aren't you? They find ways to do things that work for them." She stood. "Tell you what, why don't we go to the village now? You can finish your work later."

Ominis agreed. He wanted to know, after all, if what Noctua said was true. She dressed him down for it, cotton and breeches and a woollen coat that drowned his arms, and they headed out before the clock struck two, Ominis clutching her hand as the wind bandied playfully with his hair. It didn't take them long to walk, though he detected so many new scents, new sounds. Wheat fields susurrating within musky spruce fences, crackling bonfires and burnings that pumped smoke into the sky. They reached a low stone wall that bordered the village river, cold against Ominis' hands, before Noctua hushed him.

"Do you remember the rules around Muggles?"

"No talking about the M-word," he said diligently, "or that we are the W-word."

So Noctua took him on a stroll through the market. He was surprised at the atmosphere, busy but not bustling. Horses clattered against cobblestone, ivy rustled against houses with rooves made of thatch. Knives slammed down on meat and fish, and there was bartering, so much bartering, for the best cuts and lowest prices.

"Come off it, Dave. Two shillings for that? You must be joking."

"Ain't no joke. Gotta' keep the lights on somehow, don't I?"

They chuckled, even though Ominis didn't understand why, until he remembered Muggles simply couldn't call upon light whenever they wanted. They had to rely on candles and hearths and gas lanterns. They had to rely on their own labour to make ends meet and provide for their children.

A thread of something fresh caught Ominis' nose then, and he turned towards the scent. Warm bread, just baked.

"Want some?" asked Noctua.

His family teachings came to him. Make no disturbance of your betters. "No thank you."

"Are you sure?"

It did smell nice, but he worried about whether Muggle bread was poison for wizards. Still, Noctua took him into the bakery, and thought terror laced through his fascination, he took the bread Noctua paid in their strange Muggle money and eagerly bit into the crust. It was warm and buttery and filled his belly to full – and best of all, it tasted like regular bread. No poison.

"Ah, born like that, was he?" said the baker.

Noctua seemed so at ease with them. "Yes, he's practicing braille at the moment."

"Oh, now, that's wonderful. Keep at it, lad. You'll do great."

"Thanks," Ominis managed. He'd never spoken to a Muggle before. He didn't know Muggles learnt braille too.

Noctua took him back outside as he finished the last of his bread. "Well? What do you think?"

The general mood was buoyant and hopeful. Not everyone was affluent, yes, but there was something wonderful in the way they worked tirelessly to get what they wanted. If the air smelt the same, the food tasted the same, the people merry and sad and angry the same...

"It's a bit like Hogsmeade," he admitted at last, because that was all he had to compare it to.

"So you see, then," said Noctua, a twinkle in her voice. "Not so different after all."

Only when they got back to the house, Ominis not entirely convinced but probing for more, he felt a shift in the air like claws on his shoulders. His parents had arrived home early, as had Marvolo and his noisy sneer.

"At the village, I see," his father barked. Then, "Ominis, to your room. Now."

Ominis knelt to the ground and pressed an ear to the crack under his door so he could hear the argument in the foyer below.

"You will do well to remember that he is my son, and I will not have you traipsing him around in Muggle slums!"

"Do you want him to be so completely unaware of the surrounding world? He'll have to live outside these walls one day."

Marvolo scoffed. "The boy is blind, Noctua."

"In sight, not in head," she retorted. "Though he will be if you all keep treating him this way."

It was nice to hear her support him, and from then on he enjoyed her company a lot more. She had so much wisdom to share, about the Muggle world, about his family, about the dark secrets that followed the Gaunts like shadow. When she went missing, he despaired in his bedroom alone, knowing all too well no one but him would care. It was only until that will arrived, balling up any last hope that she was alive, that he decided to shut the door on her disappearance once and for all – by chasing the information she'd last shared with him.

Salazar Slytherin's Scriptorium.

It hadn't been an immediate decision. Once he told Sebastian of the Scriptorium, and his aunt's futile quest to find it, Sebastian hounded him for weeks, desperate to seek it himself. Ominis shut down his questions, even though, secretly, he wanted answers himself.

Missy managed to convince him – if only because she reinforced how important it was for Sebastian to find a cure for Anne, something that was possible with the secrets of the Scriptorium. And, well, to sate his own curiosity Ominis wouldn't be moved, but for Anne, whom he loved as much as Sebastian did, he agreed to make an effort. He would put aside his distaste for the Dark Arts for closure.

"Don't mistake my agreeing to go as thinking this is a good idea. I'm only going to ensure you don't get into some sort of trouble."

Missy's voice turned upwards with agreement. "You've made the right decision."

On the other hand, his was rueful. "I hope we don't regret this."

They waited until nightfall. It should've been no trouble to get there for the three of them, since the Scriptorium's entrance was next to their common room – but come the clock chimes at midnight Missy was nowhere to be found. Sebastian paced in wait as Ominis pressed a heel to the wall where the secret door lay, trying to sense any vibrations beneath. Boot steps heading towards them snagged his attention.

But there were two pairs. The first, Missy's forceful strides. The second—

You.

Instantly he recognised it. The bounce of your curls. The clatter of your glasses. The shoes, merrily clacking against stone. The scent of you, so sweet and innocuous, and yet like pure ecstasy.

You startled at the same time he did, standing upright.

"Gibby—"

"Ominis—" Hearing you speak his name after so long, in a tone that wasn't revulsion, was like music. But the shock was gone when you turned to Missy, aggravated. "I-I didn't know he was coming."

"Yes," said Missy coolly, "this information comes from his family."

"And therefore it is my quest," he reiterated. "You cannot invite whomever you want."

"I thought the more people, the better." So composed and unperturbed. "Why? Will this be a problem?"

"Yes. She cannot go."

"And why not?" you challenged indignantly.

So damn naïve. "It's dangerous."

"When has that ever stopped me?"

"There's a first time for everything."

"You can put your wounded ego away, Ominis. There's no way I'm not going exploring with you all."

He swore steam erupted from his nose, but it took Sebastian, of all people, to step in and play middle man. "We'll all go— and no, Ominis, unless you're planning to hex her, I don't think you can stop her."

"Don't tempt me." He grinded his teeth. "If you get hurt—"

"You wouldn't care," you said coldly.

And you were right. He shouldn't have cared. He'd severed your bond almost a year ago now. But there was something in him helplessly clutched in your grasp. Something that wouldn't let him let you go.

"If we're ready," said Missy, elongating her words in a poor attempt to smooth the tension, "then you can tell us the first step into the Scriptorium, Ominis."

Lighting the braziers was the easy part. Other students had done it, lit the things to light their way through the dungeons and accidentally unveiled the door. But no one had got further. A dead end, it was declared.

Instantly, he knew why.

Whispers seeped through the chamber walls. As the others explored, and Missy repaired a broken relief, Ominis wished he could clap his hands over his ears. There was something terribly wrong with this place. Something dark.

"Wait— a journal entry! Under the broken pieces!" Sebastian snatched a crusty parchment from the ground. "Ominis— it's signed from your aunt."

"What?" He couldn't believe it. Then had she... succeeded? "What does it say?"

Sebastian read. "Wow... she tried to convince your father she'd found the Scriptorium. She came down to get proof."

Noctua was here. And, perhaps worse, his father knew. His father knew and never said a word.

Tears came unwilling to his eyes, and he fought to bat them back, but it was like the susurrations heard his pain, strengthening their efforts to unsettle him.

"What's wrong, Ominis?"

Your voice was a balm, even though Ominis hated himself for it. His throat ran dry.

"I— I can hear hissing."

"Hissing?" asked Missy.

"I'm a Parselmouth," he explained, and for some reason, admitting it in front of you filled him with more shame. "I can hear and speak to snakes."

"Wow, that's incredible."

The awe in Missy's voice disconcerted him. "All descendants of Salazar Slytherin have the ability."

"So what's it saying?"

Ominis swallowed and focused on the sound. It pulled such a deep fear from him, to use this ability he hadn't in so long. The worst of it was, it was like he'd last spoken it yesterday. Like he'd never stopped at all. He'd sworn a year ago to lock away all the darkness of his family bloodline and throw away the key, and yet here he was, standing in his predecessor's lair, the translation effortless.

For Aunt Noctua, he tried to convince himself. But it was much harder to pretend the ends justified the means.

"Speak to me," he murmured.

"The relief depicts a person facing a snake," said Sebastian. "And this door... well, it's covered in snake motifs."

Ominis felt it, if only to fuel the hope that his friend was wrong. Of course he wasn't.

His heartbeat was a wild stag in his chest. "But I— I can't. I haven't spoken it in years."

"I think you know it's not the sort of language you forget."

No. It wasn't.

Letting himself embrace this horrid part of his heritage terrified him. It was like being back in the cellar again, that Muggle writhing beneath him in pain, his parents and brother lauding his name. Gaunt. No matter what he did to unbind himself from the bloodline, always it came back to shackle him. Always, it answered when he didn't call.

Everything in this place was overwhelming. His father's deliberate silence, the darkness that fettered him when he thought he was free... He didn't realise he was shaking until a hand came to steady him. You. Because of course you knew about his aunt, and how fond of her he was. You knew how much this meant to him, even if you didn't know the horrible things he'd done to get here.

He hesitated pulling his arm away – a foolish mistake. Your touch lingered like your soap.

"Take your time," you said softly.

He tried to gather some lost mettle. For my aunt, he told himself, again and again, until the whispers didn't seem so scary. It was difficult to centre himself when three people were waiting on him, but knowing that behind this door were the answers for his aunt's disappearance, and potentially the answers for Anne's illness, lit the spark of courage he needed. All that was left was to speak.

So he took a deep breath. Forced it out again.

And he spoke.

The tongue was guttering and unnatural. Rusty. Yet the door recognised its own flesh, and as the snakes undulated along the door's surface, and it opened with a cold draught of wind, Ominis knew he'd never escape his family legacy. No matter how much he wished it.

The others cast Lumos and set about exploring the space. Even so many years here and there was still some wonder in discovering the new, the unwritten. Salazar Slytherin did not make it easy to enter his Scriptorium, as the enclosed stone hallways, suffused with the cold, were riddled with puzzles, most of them involving the use of sight. Missy managed to solve the first, a memory test that required her to twist dials to match symbols on the gates.

She clicked the first one. Something sharped sliced the air besides him, and Ominis flinched.

"What the—"

"The gate came down," Sebastian said, terrified but also in awe – a worrying amount. "Between the archway."

"So there's no way back."

You huffed a breath. "So there's only forwards."

Regardless of your optimism, that was not a comforting thought, and the group stayed closer together, firing Lighting charms into the darkness. Dust swirled beneath Ominis' nose, and yet the place had a damp, mildewed feel, unpleasant and uncomfortable, but as the others continued to solve Slytherin's riddles, a rising worry eschewed his fear. This was too easy. His ancestor, he hated to admit, was one of the greatest wizards of all time, and too clever to find entertainment in shallow puzzles. There had to be something worse.

"I don't like this," he murmured into the humming din at one point, as Sebastian and Missy searched for the next symbols.

He didn't mean to talk to you, but he had.

"We'll be okay," you said, even though you moved a little closer to him, closer than he'd expected. "Salazar Slytherin is your direct ancestor?"

He swallowed. "Yes."

A pause.

"He hated Muggle-borns, too."

On anyone else's tongue, the words were a jab. On you, they were only full of pity.

I don't hate Muggle-borns. I don't hate you.

But he couldn't bring himself to say it, and the silence that followed devoured him.

"I think this is the last one," said Missy, when they entered yet another identical stone corridor, the echo of her voice a small comfort in the confined space.

Sebastian had already turned this into a game. "Race you?"

She let out a single chuckle. "You couldn't keep up."

"Try me."

You laughed along to their competitive scrabbling. When the air rippled, and stone quaked, revealing a corridor that seemed to lead nowhere, you patted your cheeks twice and marched forwards on Sebastian's heels.

But Slytherin enjoyed games too.

The gate almost sliced Ominis' nose when it descended in front of him, cutting him off from you and Sebastian. A mere breath separated you, and yet the gap felt infinite.

Behind him, Missy spluttered. "Damn it!"

That meant— he was trapped.

Powerless.

He grabbed the gate, unyielding beneath his fingers. "Sebastian, what's going on?"

"I—" Sebastian startled. "Oh no."

He heard your intake of breath then.

"What's going on?" Ominis demanded.

"Bones," you said quietly. "And a note. I-It's from your aunt..."

She died here. You read it aloud, confirming Ominis' worst fears. Grief tore through him, swelling behind his eyes.

"This is the last puzzle," Sebastian said, voice firm. "There's a door, but it's sealed. It says Crucio on the floor..."

"No!" Ominis rattled the gate. "No, you can't. This is madness, Sebastian! Please—"

"Please what?" Sebastian said, frustrated. "The Scriptorium wants a price for entry. This is what we must pay."

But you didn't know any Dark Magic.

Sebastian did.

The realisation chilled Ominis down to his heart.

"Don't you dare!" he screeched. "Don't you dare use that curse on her!"

You stammered. "Ominis—"

"We're stuck!" Sebastian barked. "Your aunt died because she came alone. She didn't have anyone to use Dark Magic on. So unless you want to die like her, we don't have a choice."

"We always have a choice!"

Even though he didn't know what that was, even though it was Slytherin's nature to demand obedience or death. None of that mattered. What did was that you were the last person who deserved such pain, when you'd already been through so much. When he'd already caused it.

He tried with all his might to break the gate, bend it, cast the Exploding charm, whatever it would take to get him in the chamber.

"It won't work," Missy said, softer than he thought capable.

"I have to try—"

"It's okay," you mumbled, cutting him off. "I-I can take it."

The tremble betrayed your fear. Sebastian offered a compromise, that he could teach you and you'd use it on him, but even if you wanted to learn the curse yourself, which you didn't, there was no way you'd ever find the intention to use it willingly, and to use it willingly on Sebastian, no less, who'd done you no wrong since you'd known him.

Ominis banged his hands against the gate. "Damn it, Gibby—"

"I said I can do it," you snapped. "I'll be fine."

"I told you it was dangerous!"

"I knew the risks."

"Did you?" he challenged. "You came down to explore!"

"I'm not naïve, Ominis!" You came closer. "Of course the Scriptorium of Salazar Slytherin wouldn't be easy to get into. Of course I knew there was a price!"

But for you, and only you, to pay it? Was it by fate, that you walked in second, or was this what Slytherin wanted all along? For Muggle-born blood to pave the way for the rest of wizardkind?

His hands shook as he clutched the gate, so tightly his veins bulged. Once, you were the most naïve person he knew, but that day in the Undercroft had changed you as much as it had changed him.

You spun away, back to Sebastian. A deep breath.

"Okay. I'm ready."

"Are you sure?"

Presumably you nodded, because you didn't say the words.

And Ominis was helpless to listen as Sebastian raised his wand.

"Crucio!"

Your pain seemed to last for hours. For a second, a wink in time, you were silent, only that fizzing noise, that horrid, burning stench of the curse any indication anything was happening at all. But then you cried out, you wept,  you mewled, howled – then it was pure agony, screams that arced through Ominis in ways he would never forget.

Something shifted. It was a softer noise than your screams, like mud, or honey almost, sinking into the ground. As the blockage melted, Sebastian ceased the spell, but your pain did not end, and when the gate shot back up, Ominis stumbled over himself to get to you.

"Gibby," he fell to your side, cradled you, ran hands over your shoulders and face, breathless. "You— I— are you—"

Your ragged breaths calmed. Your quivering eased. Tears ran down his own, probably splattering onto you, but you said nothing, only remained still in his grasp as he held you, comforted you.

Something warm drew up his temple then, and it took a second to recognise it. Your hand. Your thumb, combing back an errant lock of hair, skimming the mole on his temple.

"So you do care," you croaked.

He didn't know how to respond.

"I-I'm sorry," he said instead, failure washing through him. "I... I should've—"

"Don't," you whispered. "Not here. Not yet."

So he didn't. Instead, he wordlessly helped you to stand. Sebastian and Missy asked after you, and their awkwardness brought a new flush to Ominis' cheeks, but when you gave a shaky thumbs-up and an audible smile that warmed even this terrible place, the four of you headed into Slytherin's Scriptorium impeded no longer.

Sebastian and Missy got to work searching each nook and cranny of the cavernous chamber of stone walls, busy with the scattered remnants of Slytherin's work: parchment, scrolls, ancient tomes on shelves that seemed to hum with magic too ancient to describe. Ominis held onto you for the entire time, emotionally spent. You clutched his arm in return, and he felt the tremble of your grip, the vestiges of the curse. He should've helped to search the place, really, but he didn't trust that Slytherin, the most famous pure-blood supremacist in the history of Hogwarts, wouldn't have any last surprises for you.

Missy eventually found Slytherin's spellbook, and the exit, which chucked the four of you back out into the dungeons. You huddled behind the columns until you were sure there were no teachers or prefects, and only then did Ominis allow himself a moment to press his head to the stone, process everything he'd heard, felt.

His aunt was dead, bones lying cold in that corridor.

Sebastian had used Dark Magic like it was second nature.

You had been hurt. And you were owed an explanation.

But so close to the common room entrance was risking too much. If not Peregrine Malfoy, then another pure-blood, a painting, a ghost, a teacher bribed. Someone else, trading with secrets that could ultimately slither its way back to his family.

"Ominis," Sebastian sounded genuinely contrite, "about your aunt—"

"Oh please, Sebastian," he snapped, the anger sudden but healthy. He swung on his friend, teeth bared. "We were lucky we escaped at all."

"But I'm grateful that we did, because maybe now Anne—"

"And if you'd have died in there? How could you have saved Anne then?"

You startled. "Wait, let's—"

"Swear to me." He didn't bend under the weight of your gaze. "Swear to me, right now, that we will never engage with Dark Magic ever again. That— that we will never cause that pain again."

Sebastian was speechless. "But—"

"Swear it, Sebastian!"

"All right, all right." He took a breath. "Understood. And I... I really am sorry about your aunt."

Admittedly that closure was nice, to know Noctua was gone. He didn't voice anything, his feelings too raw and churning, and Sebastian headed towards the common room, Missy in tow.

"We'll go. You two... have a lot to talk about."

When the common room door slid shut, and it was only the two of you, alone, a new sort of worry seeded in his stomach. You said nothing for a while, the last moments that had passed between you as palpable as stone.

"I— I'm sorry," he forced out, this apology much harder than the last. "The Cruciatus Curse—"

"I'm okay," you repeated. A shuffle of your boot. "Are... are you going to talk to me again now? Are you going to tell me why you turned on me?"

But he found the words impossible and unmoving. He needed time, space, to heal from today, before he was ready to open another old wound.

"I-I can't. Not yet."

You paused. It was long and hard to bear, like a rake drawing down his chest.

"All right," you said quietly. "When you're ready, find me. You know where."

He did know where. Back in the early months of first year, when you were green and hungry, there were times when you weren't tagging in Ominis and Sebastian's shadows, times when they didn't know where you were at all. Once he decided, on whim, to search. The castle was huge and he wasn't optimistic, but he checked your favourite places: the Hufflepuff common room, the library, the front lawns and the sitting area outside Charms. When you weren't there and no one had seen you, he concluded he was just missing you, and hurried towards the Great Hall before his absence at dinner was noticed.

That's when he heard you, far above.

The hallways of the Viaduct Entrance were quiet – everyone was at the feast – and even still, your voice was barely a whisper. He halted, pausing to make sure, and there again was your sound, high-pitched and squealy and very you. Brow furrowing, he followed the noise up the stairs until he found himself squirrelled between the wooden joists holding the ceiling.

Whilst Ominis and Sebastian had claimed the Undercroft as their own, this was your space. He didn't know when you'd discovered it, or how, but here you were, curled beneath the beams.

Crying.

It surprised him. You, crying? When you were always so upbeat? When everything seemed to make you laugh? He approached you like you were a unicorn, easily spooked by noise. Still, you noticed him anyway.

"Oh! Ominis! I— I didn't see you there."

"That makes two of us."

But you didn't laugh, which meant something was very wrong.

He swallowed his pride. He'd never dealt with someone crying before, least of all a crying girl. "What's the matter?"

"You're going to think I'm silly."

"I already think that."

Another heaving breath. Another jab that didn't land. "Then— I don't know. You might laugh."

"Why would I—?" He stopped himself. That wasn't what you needed to hear. Instead, he sat next to you. "I won't laugh. Promise."

"Okay." You shuffled a little closer. "I-I miss home."

Ah. You were homesick. Frankly the concept was foreign to him – he'd never once missed his family. Even then he rejoiced every second he got to spend away from home. Still, it seemed to be eating you up.

"I-I'm not ungrateful," you said quickly. "I'm really happy to be here. And I really like magic. It totally makes sense – one time I exploded my brother's washing basket and we never knew how—"

"Exploded—?" He sighed. Just you things. "Never mind."

"But I miss them. My mama and papa run the confectionary. My brothers are supposed to take over when they're older, but Connor met Matilda Asher at church and everyone reckons they'll marry soon and he'll go into lumbering, and Ellian doesn't like sweets a lot, and he's much better at business and numbers anyway, and who knows how little Tam will grow up— oh no, I'm going to miss him growing up!"

Now you were weeping and hiccoughing. "Slow down. You're getting tears on my robes."

"Sorry. Is that... am I a wally?"

He didn't have the heart to ask what a wally was.

"Everyone gets homesick sometimes."

"You don't."

So you noticed. "I grew up in the magical world. You didn't. If I was suddenly dropped into the Muggle world, I'd be sad too. It's overwhelming to suddenly be in a different place with different people, let alone find out you're actually a witch, but you'll get used to it."

"What if I don't?"

"You will." It wasn't a guess. It was fact. "And your friends will help. Sebastian and Anne, and Adelaide and Evangeline and Arthur too."

"And you?"

"Yes," he said, managing a smile for your sake, "and me."

You took a deep breath, a sign that meant you would be okay.

"Do... do you have a tissue?"

"No."

"A... face-cleaning spell? Dryus Tearus?"

"You can't put -us at the end of words and expect it to be a spell. Just stop crying." It came out as a demand, even though Ominis didn't mean it to. He lifted the hem of his robes and wiped away the tears. "You'll get to go home at Christmas, which is only two months away."

By which point, he knew, you wouldn't feel so homesick anyway.

You squirmed when he drew the robe across your nose again. It was snotty, which made him grunt in disgust, which then made you giggle, and then use the sleeve of your own shirt to wipe the rest away.

"Thank you." You sniffled again. "I must look terrible."

"Awful."

A sharp pause – then another laugh, this one more like your usual self. "You are funny, Ominis Gaunt."

Funny was, perhaps, the last word he would ever ascribe to himself. It was, however, the perfect word to assign to his feelings a few days after the Scriptorium debacle, when he was finally ready to share the truth.

He didn't find you under the joists in the Viaduct Entrance's ceiling. Instead, where you were sitting that first time he caught you in first year, and where you sat in the subsequent times since, he found a note. Cleverly it was in braille, and he suspected there was no written words. He drew his thumb across the print.

Below astronomy deck, 8pm.

You had been waiting there, every day like clockwork. Waiting for him.

Ominis climbed the winding stairs. He didn't come up here often – without his sight, he couldn't read the stars, though he did still partake in stargazing theory and discussion. The floorboards croaked. So high up, the wind teased the tips of his ears, and he fussed with warming them until the deck was before him.

He thought he was alone, that he'd missed the chance today.

But you were here, coming up to him steadily. "Are you ready to talk?"

He nodded, voice scarpering deep into his throat. You waited. You weren't going to prompt him or give him any tools to help. You were as hungry for answers as you were before, but you would not make it easy. He would have to work for your trust.

He didn't know how to start.

"I— my family—" How did he tell you about the pain he went through, without diminishing yours? How could he articulate the horrors he'd experienced home, that he'd subsequently thrown back at you? "Some... things happened, when I was at home that summer after third year."

You waited still, not saying a word.

The beginning, then.

"You know my family hates Muggles. Hates Muggle-borns. It's an old pure-blood notion that Muggle-born magic is weaker, that it's stolen. I realised it was wrong when I met you, and regardless of my family's opinions I thought it was okay to be your friend."

"Opinions," you retorted. "You mean prejudice?"

"Yes," he agreed hoarsely, realising his error too late. "Yes, prejudice."

Silence again, as you waited for him to continue. He didn't know you could be so blunt.

"Peregrine Malfoy found out in third year we were friends. He— he told his father. Who told mine." Now his heart raced, his pulse thrashed, a cold clamminess prickled up and down his skin in disgust, shame, fear. "M-My parents, my brother Marvolo, they... they were displeased—"

Your hand found his arm then to steady him then.

"You don't have to continue."

"You deserve to know—"

"It's okay. I... I already know."

"You— what?"

"I've known since the Scriptorium."

"How?" he demanded, then seethed. "Damn Sebastian—"

"Not Sebastian," you mumbled.

Anne.

"It wasn't her place to tell either."

"No," you agreed, "but I wrote her a letter and she told me anyway, since you were being a dummy."

"But you know why, then," he reiterated, clutching your shoulders, hoping, begging to make you see. "You know why—"

"I know I lost my best friend," you said, angry tears snuffing your voice. "I know you suffered. I know your family are the vilest, most evil people on earth. I know that nosy Malfoy should mind his own business. Sebastian said he talked to him. He won't say a word about you now."

What the hell did Sebastian do? "It's too risky."

"I'd rather live in risk with you then not have you at all."

"You don't understand. My family will stop at nothing to protect the sanctity of the bloodline. If they are capable of hurting me, they will hurt you. Maybe— maybe worse. They might've tried something already if you weren't protected here, at Hogwarts."

"I'm not afraid of them."

"You should be. They can do so much worse than... than the slur I called you, Gibby."

"Mudblood. I know."

"Don't say—"

"Why? That word means nothing to me – it only meant something when it was coming from you."

He didn't know how to respond, speechless.

"Your family can continue to live their lives in hatred, but I won't ruin mine for their sake. If I have to keep my friendship with you a secret to keep you safe, fine." Your voice was fierce, incredible, beautiful. "But I am not losing you, Ominis Gaunt. Not again."

You knocked the breath from him then. Those were words he would never forget; you planted yourself deeper into his heart, where your flowers bloomed even in the shadows of his past.

You were his family, too.

It had taken him a long time to realise you always had been.

[MASTERLIST][PREV][NEXT] [Divider credits]

[nightbutterfly09]

Kids.

Your aunt and uncle arrived in Spain and would spend the rest of the month in this country. They texted you a few days ago that your uncle reserved a dinner for the lovely married couple to spend their wedding anniversary together but their daughter, Akemi, didn't want to participate.

They knew you lived in Spain with your boyfriend therefore they reached out if perhaps you could babysit Akemi for a day. 

You filled Sae in too and it wasn't like he had much of a chance for denial as you seemed way too excited to see your toddler cousin.

He did have a match that day however. That meant he wouldn't be there when the little guest would arrive. So as he opened the door, shook his shoes off and tossed his bag on the chair he went inside the living room. Where some laughter was erupting from.

You were dancing in front of the TV with Akemi. You were singing along to the lyrics. Or so he’d say, but singing is wuite an exaggeration.

The little girl was keeping up with his girlfriend very well and he'd say she was close to beating his woman.

The smaller one with the pigtails looked to her right side and her eyes widened at the tall figure. Sae’s finger made its way to his mouth. He didn't want to stop the fun and he also enjoyed your failing dance moves.

The little one giggles and turned back to continue where she left off. But when the song finally came to an end you saw Sae in the corner of your eyes.

He was standing against the door frame. A smirk plastered on his face. Lips cured upwards and his eyes weren’t able to contain his laughter.

“Big brother!!!” Akemi ran and hugged his legs. It always amazed you how well your cousins got accustomed to Sae.

Not only was he a famous football player but also your boyfriend, so you were always even more nervous when you had to introduce him.

But just like your other cousins, to Akemi seeing Sae was just another surprise. The fact that they all started calling him big bro most of the time really threw you off the first time, but lately you found it very heartwarming.

“Hi mrs. Unicorn” he smiled and picked the little girl up. She was in a pink dress with unicorns on it, hence the nickname. “Sae big bro! Did I do great?!!” She exclaimed.

“Ah yes, amazing, not even a professional dancer could stand in your way miss” he rolled his eyes.

Thoughts never came when you saw him with kids. He always acted like such a father figure. It was always so different from how he was with the rest of the world. So soft and gentle. You can understand why Rin got so attached to the older one.

Their parents weren't always around and to Rin, Sae was more like a parent figure than their own parents. Not that they didn't care about the two little boys. Sae was just better at taking care of him.

“Big sis Y/N! I want to go outside!! A walk please- oh and ice cream!!” “Auntie and Uncle would murder me if I gave you ice cream you know.. but a walk would be fine.” Her pouty expression rose but it dispersed as you poked her cheeks. “Sae are you coming?” “Sure, but don't you want to go on a drive? It's getting colder now that it's so late.”

Now that. That idea struck something within the toddler. She really loves Sae. She likes fresh air. She likes the night sky. And it looks like car rides were among her new favorite activities. “YES YES YESS!!” she exclaimed happily.

“Okay okay fine, Sae will drive us but before you run out, let’s dress up okay?” She pouted but nodded along.

After you made sure she had everything she requested her hair to be braided so you quickly got to making a beautiful and strong braid. Sae was watching in awe not understanding how placing a strand on another would make such a pretty braid. “You know big bro, you could do it for sissy sometimes!!” “I could never” he chuckled and hugged the woman from behind, placing a kiss on her cheek. “But practice makes perfect- or that's what mommy said when I dance!!” “That's true, but he has more important things to do than braiding my hair.”

“Sp you want to be a dancer that much Akemi-chan?” “Yes!! They are so cool!!” The car sped through the cold road and soon you arrived at the playground where the little girl really wanted to go.

To Sae, seeing you with your little cousin reminded him of what you’d be like with your own children and to you it was the same with him. Both of you loved seeing the other take care of a smaller human. Someone who still had life ahead and still had millions and millions of things to hear about.

Not that Akemi ever thought so deeply about today.

I hope you enjoyed it. Tomorrow will be a valentines special with more blue lock characters.

(sorry I just posted today's but I hope you already figured this out, all valentine's week I posted something 🩷💕)

Have a nice day/night

[mirai-e-jump]

BoyAge Vol.25 ft. Chinen Hidekazu (other pages and translation below)

Publication: November 11, 2024

Chinen Hidekazu-kun, who currently plays the role of Shouma in "Kamen Rider Gavv," makes his first appearance in BoyAge! During the interview, Chinen-kun's genuine kindness and personality was overflowing. Make sure to also check out his mature styling in the beautiful gravure!

Miraculous Encounters

"We'd like to hear about these "miraculous encounters" of yours."

Chinen: I believe I'm here now because of many miracles. First, becoming a Kamen Rider was the greatest miracle. I hadn't done any entertainment activities, but I came to Tokyo from Okinawa saying, "I want to become a Kamen Rider!," and not even a year later, I participated in my first Kamen Rider audition. I think it was an amazing miracle that that's where I was chosen, and I even shocked myself. Then there's the bonds I've made with people. Ever since I was a child, I've been blessed with the teachers and friends that surrounded me at school. Along with everyone affiliated with my agency, all the Rider staff, including the Directors and Producers, understand my traits and are trying to help me grow. I've been blessed by so many people, that I'm confident in saying that I'm a "miracle man."

"Do you ever feel afraid because these miracles are progressing without a hitch?"

Chinen: "Afraid" is certainly one way to describe it, but…..Maybe it's because of all the things I've done up until now? I was told from an early age to "practice good in secret," so perhaps luck is on my side.

"Is that like good deeds that are done without anyone knowing?"

Chinen: Right. That's why it's not something I tell people, but as an example, if flowers on the road were drooping, I'd stop to straighten them up, even if I was in the middle of a run. When I throw away worn out products like a toothbrush, I say "thank you" to it out loud. Because it's such a rare thing, people ask me, "You're still doing that at your age?" (laughs), but it's become a normal thing for me. Sometimes people think it's strange that I talk to flowers, but I think that's also part of my identity. I'm not embarrassed about it, as I do it with confidence.

"Is that something your parents taught you?"

Chinen: Yes! My parents were incredibly strict, as they only allowed me to eat sweets on weekends. The first time I went to a fast food restaurant was when I was in middle school. I haven't walked down any of the "paths" that everyone around me has taken. Shouma, the character I'm currently playing in Kamen Rider Gavv, also came to the human world from another world, so I can relate to his fresh approach to everything.

"You weren't unhappy as a child?"

Chinen: No, that's just how things normally were, but in exchange, I was allowed to do whatever I liked. I was also doing five extracurricular activities at the same time. They didn't buy me gaming consoles or a smartphone, but I now think that it was a good thing. I was able to become interested in alot of things because of that, and in this era of information overload, everything is convenient, but sometimes that makes me feel lonely because of the distance between me and others. And of all the activities I took on, I'm especially grateful for karate, as I'm using it in the action scenes in Kamen Rider.

"How long did you practice karate?"

Chinen: I did it for 4 years, from my third to sixth year in elementary school. I was doing full contact karate, where you can seriously strike your opponent, but I was so small at the time, that I was weak enough to be beaten by girls (laughs). However, there were also advancement tests, and I could actually feel that the more I did them, the better I got, so it was worth doing. Then one day I decided, "I want to play badminton," and so I quit and became devoted to badminton starting from middle school.

"You had so many things you wanted to do (laughs)."

Chinen: That's right (laughs). It's one of my weak points, but I'm interested in alot of things, so I move quickly. Acting was just something I was curious about at first, and I thought, "Ah, I want to do that," so I quit badminton, which I had been playing until my second year of high school, and during Summer vacation, I thought, "Alright, I'll go for an audition." The audition I had during that Summer vacation was the audition for my current agency.

"The gap between your enthusiasm when you start and the honesty when you stop is amazing, don't you think?"

Chinen: Yes (laughs). I was so passionate about badminton, that I thought I'd have to burn myself out before I'd stop. I was able to compete in the Inter High Championships with my seniors, who were one year above me at the time, and since I felt satisfied with things, I was able to switch directions quickly and easily.

"So once you're satisfied, it's onto the next thing, huh?"

Chinen: When I focus on one thing, I can't think of anything else. In the future, I'd like to make use of that in my acting career.

"What will you do if you feel satisfied as an actor?"

Chinen: Don't worry! Acting is something you study your whole life. It's a world with no limits, where you develop until you die, and that's what makes it so appealing, so I think I can continue to be enthusiastic about it. In addition, I can experience various occupations through my roles, so I was able to find the perfect job for myself.

"Yeah, that's good (laughs). Now then, who's the person Chinen-kun wants to meet the most right now?"

Chinen: There's a ton, but I'd like to meet my middle school teachers. Ever since I was in elementary school, I've been closer to my teachers than my friends. I'd go to the staff room or music room to talk with them during breaks. There, I'd always say, "I want to be an actor," and they'd give me encouragement by saying, "If it's Chinen, you can make it." The reason why I was attracted to this world in the first place was because if I appeared on TV, tons of people would be able to watch me through the airwaves, even if they're far away. I hope they're happy that their student is now making appearances. I think it's thanks to my teachers that I was able to enjoy a fulfilling youth. I want them to see me after all these years and see how much I've grown.

"We're sure they'd be overjoyed. Now that you're currently appearing in Gavv, and it's been half a year since filming started, do you feel more relaxed?"

Chinen: I don't have the time to say, "I'm totally OK now!," but I think I've developed alittle bit of enjoyment in my heart. At first, I had no experience, so I was the one receiving advice, but now I can ask by myself, "Can I try doing this?" Other than that, I've also expanded my interests by watching films I wouldn't normally watch as references. I'm having the most fun right now. I've found what I want to create, and I feel that I've finally reached the point where I can enjoy it. I was hesitant at first to talk to the other cast members and guest cast, but now I'm trying to talk to them myself.

"Did you feel any pressure in the beginning?"

Chinen: Yes, it's not completely gone now, but I'm still concerned about the reaction of the viewers every time a broadcast airs, and when we were filming on location in town, the neighborhood children would cheer me on and say, "Go for it, Shouma!" I'm conscious of the fact that I'm participating in a production that's supported by tons of people, so I make sure to never forget that. I'd like to create this show while keeping a certain level of tension.

"Filming a tokusatsu program is hard, isn't it?"

Chinen: I think so. Nevertheless, I spend my time thinking that everything is a positive thing for me, and that I'm living in the best environment possible. It's all been a learning experience, and I appreciate all of it, so when we reach the end, I want to be sent off with pride in my chest. I entered this world on my own because I admired it, so it doesn't bother me at all.

"How do you raise your spirits on days when things aren't going your way?"

Chinen: I think it's important to be properly let down. It'd be a waste of time if I thought, "Oh, alright," and then forgot about it a week later because I was too busy with filming. I think you'll grow faster if you really think about each and every thing and think, "I'll make sure that doesn't happen next time." So, I try to cherish the time I have alone to properly sulk. I love music, and before I started working on Rider, I was the kind of person who always had to have background music playing in my life. However, one of my seniors told me, "It's also important to take time to create silence and listen to your heart," and I thought that was a really good method to follow. I may get really depressed on a certain day, but I can reset myself after a good night's sleep, so I try not to drag it over into the next day!

"Self suggestion is also an option, huh? (laughs). Have your impressions of Shouma changed since playing him?"

Chinen: Shouma's abit different since he's from another world. In the beginning, I was conscious of making the viewers immediately think, "Huh? There's something off about this kid." Things like how only the vibes around Shouma are different. Still, as the episodes progressed, I began to think that I wanted to see Shouma as a human being and began to play him as such. I think that as the second half of the show unfolds, we'll see his humanity, and the parts of him that'll seem to be no different from everyone else's. The Director also changes every two episodes, and their approach to portraying Shouma is different from each other. There's alot of action and highlights in every episode, so I think that's one of the things that'll keep you coming back to the show.

"You mentioned earlier that "the neighborhood children would be cheering you on," but how has the response been since the broadcast started?"

Chinen: It's trending every week, so I'm beyond happy that tons of people are watching and caring about it. It seems that even the little monster toys known as Gochizou are hard to acquire. I'm really happy that there are people who watch the show, find it appealing, and want to "own it." They're so popular, that even we can't buy them (laughs).

"It's a Kamen Rider with a sweets motif. Every time we finish watching an episode, we want to eat something sweet."

Chinen: That makes me happy. I also heard that girls are watching the show because of the sweets. The visuals are also colorful and pleasing to the eyes, but there's a part of the show's story that's abit "bitter." Since the broadcast started, the atmosphere on set has changed again. We got off to a good start, so everyone's even more enthusiastic. I hope you'll continue to support us as you've been doing, and to see this through to the ending.

[skemford]

Jinx & Caitlyn were supposed to be Arcane S2 character foils/parallels but i don't think that show did a good job at fully accomplishing what it planned.

We got a lot of themes that weren't explored enough outside of visuals and i cannot stop thinking about what could've been.

Under the cut I'll share my thoughts about Jinx and Caitlyn being 2 sides of 1 coin and how Ambessa and Sevika are the opposites (mentor figures,if you'll)

What we see in Act 1 of S2 is a direct consequences of what happened in S1. Both Jinx and Caitlyn are "the monster that you created".

Jinx is a victim of systematic oppression: her biological parents were murdered by the enforcers and her sister (a teen) was arrested without anything that resembled a court. Zaun's system was fleshed out by Piltover's oppression which made people (like Silco) exploit its citizens from the inside. Silco loved Jinx but their relationship was still unhealthy which is almost impossible to avoid in Zaun, to be fair.

Caitlyn is a part of the oppressive society. S1 presents her as someone who wants to make a change. After she visited Zaun with Vi she says that people deserve better & acknowledges that council failed everyone. Despite the way she raised she was portrayed as empathetic and tries to "call out" her mother who's a councilor.

At the beginning of S2 both Jinx and Cait experienced a turning point. Both of them were challenged by their grief — Jinx lost her father and Cait lost her mother. These events are directly interconnected and happen after Jinx's "tea party".

Both of their worlds lost colors which continues to culminate through first 3 episodes of S2.

They deal with grief differently:

Jinx is more numb to everything around her. She feels lost, alone and acts reckless. Silco's death reminded her that she's a JINX and there's no one who'd deny this or comfort her.

Caitlyn focuses on her main goal (catching Jinx) through tunnel vision. She makes destructive decisions which affect both Zaun and her relationships with other characters, especially Vi.

The middle of season 2 puts them on two different roads:

Jinx wanted to fix certain things because "she can" and Caitlyn let her anger take ahold of her morality.

This leads to them getting closer to two other characters: Sevika and Ambessa.

Sevika is an unlikely ally to Jinx. After sharing mutual hatred for years they decide to talk about Silco's "disappearance" right at his office. Jinx and Sevika were vulnerable even in the way they sit: they didn't kept an eye contact which would require at least some amount of trust. Nonetheless, they both felt lost and no one would've understood their grief as much as they did together.

All decisions that Ambessa made were to protect her family. Her search for power and weapons was always connected with it. Mel was Ambessa's "anchor", her disappearance blinded Ambessa and pushed her to ruthless decisions. In some way, she can feel Caitlyn's grief too. They both feel as if they failed their families. Medardas and Kirammans do have a reputation to uphold.

So...where did it lead us?

We know that Ambessa was teaching Caitlyn how to fight during the timeskip (luckily, we even got one demonstration on the screen). They spend time together and Ambessa tried to "replace" Caitlyn's mother which can be noticed by the way she calls her "child" and gives lessons from her own experience. They both participated in Zaun's occupation ("paint the town blue" montage) with Caitlyn questioning why violence is always seen as a solution.

During the timeskip Sevika tried to push Jinx toward action and convince her to lead the revolution which Jinx refused to do. One important change is how Jinx introduced Sevika to her hideout and second one is allowed to walk in without any invitations. They seem to be more comfortable in the presence of each other and Jinx freely jokes with Sevika (who's annoyed but doesn't makes a big fuss out of it).

Ambessa and Sevika are on the opposite sides of Piltover vs Zaun conflict. They're defacto "leaders": Ambessa used her warriors to control Zaun and Sevika tried to organise rebellion by getting onboard as many people as possible. But they're not participating in these events by themselves, Caitlyn and Jinx represent them.

Reasons for why this happened differ too: Caitlyn was chosen by Ambessa while Jinx was chosen by people. Jinx is a symbol of freedom and her position as revolutionary (even though only as a concept) fully reflects the difference between oppression vs oppressed.

Sadly, after episode 4 we never got more in-depth look on mentioned dynamics. Caitlyn was quick to abandon Ambessa despite all the risks, Sevika disappeared and never had lines again, Jinx was going through a lot and Ambessa decided to trust Viktor (for some reason).

Caitlyn vs Jinx were a pillar for Piltover vs Zaun conflict in Season 2. They represented two different societies that were shaped by Piltover's ignorance and classism.

When writers decided to resolve their tension in a couple of small scenes,they also decided that oppression can be easily forgotten. I still think that putting Sevika, 1 zaunite, on the council seat while not letting her say anything either wasn't a perfect solution to decades of oppression

[fishfooddude]

Family Ties

I love that the fandom sees Carmy as a girl dad who practices gentle parenting. Gentle parenting is a great parenting style, don't get me wrong. Personally, I can see him butting heads with his teenage daughter like he wants her to express herself- but he also knows that teenage boys are weird and would want to protect her at all costs. This was just a thought I had a couple of days ago, and once I started, I couldn't stop. More Dad!Carmy content to come...

A/N: I didn't realize until I copy pasted this from my Google Drive. This was 6 freakin pages. I like longer fics, I'm sorry.

The Bear MasterList

Directory

Carmy was furious. It took a lot of effort for him to ‘gentle parent’ with you when the kids, Grace and Oliver, were little. Now that both kids are in high school, he wishes he had been harder on them. You reassure him that the two of you have great kids, both work hard in school, participate in extracurricular activities, and aren’t afraid to talk to them about anything - he insisted he should have been harder on them, especially when he gets calls from the school about Oliver getting suspended… again. 

Oliver was 15, and Carmy was convinced he was Mikey's reincarnation. Like you had, he did well in school, but he was Mikey in every other aspect of life. He just needed to get his head out of his ass before out-of-school suspension became stints in jail. 

As Carmy walked down the hall to the principal’s office, he saw Oliver sitting on a bench talking to Grace- Grace, his little girl, granted she wasn’t as little anymore. She’s 17 and looked exactly like you when you were her age- except she had gotten his eyes. “Oliver.” Carmy barked, getting his attention. 

Grace looked at her brother nervously. Carmy wasn’t the kind of Dad to ‘approve’ of her clothing, but he’d fight her on it occasionally, especially regarding crop tops and dresses. It came from a place of caring and not wanting his little girl to get hurt, but Carmy could take it too far.

 Carmy noticed Grace turning the opposite way to get away from the Berzatto boys,

“Grace? Shouldn’t you be in class or somethin’?” Carmy questioned; she stopped in her tracks, knowing Carmy wasn’t in the best mood. She turned around and hoped he was too mad, Oliver, to notice the cropped corset she’d worn to school that day. It’s not like she’d worn it to get a guy to notice her; she’d just liked the contrast of its light green color with her baggy jeans, and she was supposed to match outfits with the rest of the dance team that day so he couldn’t be mad at it- especially since he’d encouraged her to join the dance team freshman year. “Someone texted me that Oli was out here- just wanted to make sure no one beat my baby brother’s ass.” she laughed. Carmy shot her his classic ‘I’m your father, I know when you’re lying look’ but shook his head; he was not ready to deal with that. “Put on a sweater.” Grace nodded at Carmy’s casual dislike of her top, “Yes, sir.”

Initially, Carmy was going to let it slide. He knew Grace was 17, she was going to college next year, and he wouldn’t be able to encourage her to make the right decision anymore, but while she was under his roof, she’d live by his rules. You laughed when he brought it up to you that night in bed. “Carmy, she’s a good kid. Gracie has good grades. She has good friends. She works; if she wants to wear a crop top, she can wear a crop top.” Carmy sighed. He saw the point you’d been trying to make with that explanation but wasn’t happy.

Grace hoped Carmy wouldn’t bring up her wardrobe, but unfortunately, she was wrong. Carmy had hired an older brother of one of Grace’s friends at The Bear- that’s how he’d found out about Grace’s non-family Instagram account. She hadn’t posted anything too scandalous; there were some pictures from parties where she was holding a red Solo cup, a few from a dance competition after-party where she’d been wearing something Carmy wouldn’t have allowed her to leave the house in, and of course the soft launch of her relationship. He was seething; you hadn’t known about the account either- you’d heard Grace talk to her cousins about a boy she liked, but the drinking and parties also surprised you. 

“Carmy, you neeeeed to be careful with how you speak to Grace about this,” you emphasized through the phone. Of course, this would come up when you were out of town. “Baby, I’ll handle it.” “Carmen Anthony Berzatto. Do not, I repeat, do not shame our daughter. You can tell her you’re unhappy-” “I’ll handle it.” he hung up, and you knew you’d be walking into a shit storm when you returned home.

“Fuck off, Dad!” Grace screamed as she slammed her bedroom door. To say Carmy mishandled the situation would be an understatement; he stood outside Grace’s door, immediately regretting what he’d said about Grace. He questioned her character; he knew she was a good kid; he wanted to knock on her door and apologize, but Grace didn’t want to hear it.

Oliver sat in his bedroom and heard Carmy and Grace yell at each other throughout the weekend. He laughed when he realized Carmy double-downed on what he’d initially said about Grace ‘not being that kind of girl.’ and how people would ‘never take her seriously’ when he dropped the word ‘whore’ he knew there would be hell when you came home. The front door slammed, and he heard Carmy yell ‘fuck’ and slam a door. He looked out his bedroom window to see Grace running up the street. Oliver sighed and fished his phone out of his pocket; “Oli fuck off.” Grace huffed before immediately hanging up on him. He rolled his eyes and dialed your number. “Hi baby, everything okay?” “Nope.”

The house was antagonistic. Carmy was pissed at himself, you and Grace were also pissed at him, and Oliver managed to sink into the background. The family dinners you’d shared were typically full of conversation and life, but tonight was awkwardly silent. Oliver decided he’d take a crack at making it better, “Uncle Richie got to 100 Instagram followers. He’s pretty excited about it.” no one took the bait. He poked at the chicken on his plate, “Good dinner, am I right?” he grinned, looking around the table. Grace rolled her eyes and stood up from the table, “Grace?” you called after her. She ignored your question and went upstairs. “Well, I think it’s a good dinner- conversation wasn’t the best, but… we’ll get through it.” Oliver tried to lighten the tension in the room, but he inevitably failed, and Carmy told him to go to his room. Oliver obliged, taking his and Grace’s plates to the sink before shuffling upstairs. He walked past Grace’s room on the way. He paused and stood before the door; it was too quiet. He knocked softly before opening the door; she was gone.

“I just don’t know what to say to him. I’m pissed.” Grace vented as she lay beside Eva in the park by her apartment, “My dad was the same way, except he threw my clothes away. My mom ripped him a new one over it.” “Should I accept his apology and move out as soon as possible?” Eva shook her head and laughed at the suggestion. “Gracie, you know what you need to do.” Grace sighed, knowing her cousin was right. She sat up and pushed her hair back. “I’m gonna hide out at Danny’s house. Cover for me?” “Of course. Don’t get pregnant.” 

“Gracie girl? Can I come in, honey?” you asked outside her door, but there was no response. “Baby, please?” you asked again. “She’s not home,” Oliver said, walking past you to the bathroom. “What do you mean she’s not home?” he shrugged. “I guess she snuck out after dinner.”. You pinched the bridge of your nose in frustration before walking into your and Carmy’s bedroom, “You have to fix this, Carmen.” you scolded in your best mom voice he’d heard a thousand times, granted it was typically directed at one of the kids. “Baby, how can-” “Carmen. If you ever want to be inside me again, you’ll fix this.” Carmy leaned back against the headboard; he didn’t think something like this could be fixed. 

“Oh, hi, Grace.” Danny’s mom greeted her when she realized she was sitting on the couch with Danny. “Hi, Mrs. De Luca.” she smiled back, “How are you, sweetheart?” Grace shrugged at the question, “Been better.” “Oh, I’m sorry, Grace,” she frowned before turning her attention to her son “Danny. I need you to take Annie to school tomorrow morning, okay? I’m doin’ an overnight.” Danny nodded in acknowledgment. She smiled again and quickly ran out of the house, leaving Danny and Grace in the living room and Danny’s sister Annie upstairs, tucked into bed. 

“So. What’s goin on with you?” Danny finally asked. He wasn’t mad that she’d come over unannounced, but it was obvious that Grace had been crying. Grace shrugged at the question, “Guess I just wanted to see you.” Danny scoffed. “Grace. Com’ on. You only come over on weeknights when you’re upset.” “Do not.” Grace challenged, leaning into his side. “I will tickle it out of you, baby. You should just tell me what’s up.” he insisted, sitting up slightly. Grace groaned and sat up, bringing her knees to her chest. She told him that she and Carmy were fighting about her ‘secret online life that everyone can see’ and how ‘she’s not that kind of girl,’ so why was she pretending to be? She was hesitant to include the part where Carmy had called her a whore, but as she looked at Danny’s sympathetic face, she couldn’t hold back. “The house is awkward- Oli tried to make a joke out of it, but it was just so fuckin’ annoying. I’m just disappointed in myself… he’s never mad at me, Danny.” Danny nodded. “I get that. What me to beat him up for callin’ you a whore? You know I will.” Grace rolled her eyes. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

Carmy sat outside on the porch smoking when he saw headlights coming in his direction; it was almost 2 in the morning. He sighed and took a final puff before ashing his cigarette. He assumed it was Grace, and he was correct. He heard her say her goodbyes to whoever dropped her off and waited for her to come up the driveway. “Hi, Grace.” he greeted, his lips pulling into a tight line due to their growing awkwardness. “Dad,” she responded, crossing her arms over her stomach. “Where were you?” “With Eva.” Carmy nodded. “Can I talk to you?” Grace shrugged and moved closer to Carmy. “I want to apologize, Gracie. I shouldn’t have said that about you. You have a good head on those shoulders- but I don’t want you to get hurt. Girls who posted stuff like that online when I was 17… you know what happened. Rumors and shit- I just don’t want people doin' that to you.” he explained, scratching at the back of his neck. Grace nodded, taking in what he’d said. “I understand, but I’m not a little girl anymore, Dad. I can handle myself; if I can’t, Danny has my back.” Carmy nodded, “We good?” he asked, looking down at Grace. He smiled when he saw her pulling her sleeves over her hands like when she was a little girl and felt uneasy. “We’re good.” Grace agreed. Carmy brought her into a lazy hug and kissed the top of her head. “I love you, always.” Grace smiled and hugged Carmy back, “I love you too, Dad.”

As the two went inside, Carmy remembered something she’d said, “Who’s Danny?” Grace stopped and looked up at Carmy cautiously. “Uh… he’s my- my boyfriend…”

[purplecoffee13]

Dangerous Love*

Summary: You know Harry’s dangerous, but isn’t that what makes it all the more exciting?

Wc: 5.3k

Tropes: POSSESSIVENESS, mafia!harry, friends-with-benefits-to-lovers, forbidden love

Warnings: degradation, slight BDSM, daddy!kink, edging & overstimulation if you squint

A/N: Yeah… about this one. I- I’ll just be in the corner, thinking about my actions…

THIS HASN’T BEEN PROOFREAD, I’LL DO THAT LATER!!!

#####

You had sworn off Harry months ago. When you found out he had been participating in some... illegal activities, it was over.

Your family was powerful, important, and most of all very clean. Harry Styles had been trying to make it in the real estate business as well, but there had been talk going around, talk of odd situations and fishy circumstances.

Your family had told you to not interact with him or any of his family on a voluntary basis, and to not hold the conversation on too long if confronted with his family anyway.

Now, you were never one to listen to your family. You had always advocated against prejudice and you firmly believed that one should never judge a book by its cover. And out of all people, you really didn't expect Harry to be the person to prove her wrong.

In the months that you had gotten to know each other at events, it had become clear that you were attracted to each other, so you two set up a relationship. A friends with benefits relationship, that was. Knowing that anything else would be too complicated, this was the best option.

It was thrilling, doing something that was wrong, while feeling so right.

But when one day you found a huge stash of coke in Harry's basement, you retreated your entire relationship with him. You couldn't have the demolition of the family weighing on your shoulders, purely out of sexual needs.

You had held up this attitude on for quite a while. It had been three months. Sure, you hadn't shared the bed with anyone because you were secretly afraid that no else would ever live up to Harry, but that was besides the point.

It was besides the point that he knew every one of your kinks and the perfect way to play into them. And it certainly didn't keep you staring at him during the entirety of this charity gala that was held at his mansion tonight.

Nope, didn't bother your at all

Despite what you had seen, Harry had built legitimacy in the last months and people had started to slowly learn to trust him. Your parents were still skeptic about him (rightfully so), but the rest of the community had already warmed up to the Styles family.

It hadn't been easy to keep your eyes off Harry, especially with him dressed in that all black suit of his. It was certainly a sight to see and you had almost spilled champagne on yourself the first time you got lost in his eyes. You didn't miss the way his mouth quirked up. He knew.

The entire evening went slow, and you tried not to look to disinterested when your date, a guy that your parents had tried to match you with, asked you to dance. You politely accepted and did your best not to yawn as he talked about some 'impressive' business deal he made.

Then, suddenly, someone tapped on his shoulder and asked to borrow you for a dance. Naturally, your date accepted the request from none other than Harry, and soon you found yourself dancing with him.

You'd tried your best to keep your distance, but it was really hard, mainly because he had a really tight grip on your waist. His face was leaning against the side of yours, and you heard him inhaling your perfume. You didn't dare close your eyes, you were afraid someone would see how much you were secretly enjoying this moment.

When the dance came to an end, Harry whispered something to you.

"Meet me in my bedroom in ten minutes."

Without another word, he kissed your hand and let you go, walking away to entertain some guests. You returned to your family, who asked if everything was alright and you confirmed that it was.

After five minutes of eagerly waiting, you excused yourself from your family, claiming to visit the ladies room and then step outside for some fresh air.

Instead, you took a different route and quietly headed upstairs until you had reached the bedroom. You sat down on the king sized bed and waited in agony, but soon enough the door clicked open.

For a second you were afraid it was someone else, but those worries flew out the window the moment you saw Harry's satisfied grin at the sight of you sitting on his bed.

"I knew you'd come." He stalked towards me. "You'll always come back to me."

You just looked up at him with big eyes, waiting for him to make the next move. You still weren’t sure what you were doing here, all you knew is that you needed to see him again.

"Did you come here with a date?" He asked in a soft tone, caressing your cheek as he leaned down to be on eye to eye level with you.

You didn't say anything, simply leaning your head into his hand and closing you eyes. There was no one to see you now, so it was safe to enjoy his touch.

"Answer me."

"Yes... I did."

"And yet, you're here. Sitting in front of me, knowing what I'm going to do, now that I have you to myself." He kept his tone sweet, but the contradiction of his dominant words made your heat throb.

"Harry–"

You were cut off by his hand flying to your neck, slightly choking you before you could finish your sentence.

"I don't remember that we agreed on that name, now did we?"

Dramatic ass.

"Sir... please. I've missed you, I've felt so empty without you." You immediately began to plead, automatically playing into his sexual preferences. Harry liked to be in control and you liked to give it to him. There was no one who could do it like he could.

"Poor little thing, have you been so deprived?" He rhetorically asked, to which you immediately started to nod. He gave a little squeeze with his hand, tightening his grip around your neck before resuming to the looser grip it had before. There was no stopping the whines that fell from your lips, they just happened.

"Yeah, you fucking did that to yourself, didn't you? When you walked away from me." Harry's tone had lowered and he sounded very frustrated, he sounded angry.

"Didn't you?"

"I did, sir." You complied, your submissive side taking over completely. It was very easy for you to give into him, especially because you knew what you'd get in return.

"So?" He pushed further, wanting you to apologize to him for making the both of you suffer for so long.

"'M sorry, sir." Your doe eyes met his blown pupils, and you felt yourself getting wetter with every passing second just from the feeling of his rings against your neck. Harry chuckled at your apology, and you could have expected the words that came out of his mouth next.

"I don't think you’re sorry, darling." He smirked at you, letting go of his hold on you and walking to the chair in the corner of the bedroom. He sat himself down, spreading his legs wide open and rubbing over his thighs.

"I am!" You turned your head towards him, annoyed with the fact that he was discrediting your words.

"Then take off your dress, get on your knees and show me you're fucking sorry."

You couldn't have possibly been quicker to take off your clothes. Harry leaned back in his chair with lit up eyes as you sank to the ground and got on hands and knees. There was no missing the bulge that grew more painful with every inch that you came closer.

You loved these kinds of moments, those were you knew you affected him just as much as he did you.

He simply waited as you un-did his belt and unbuttoned his pants. Only when you pulled his pants down a little bit did he shuffle along to get in a comfortable position. His cock sprung out of his underwear, and from the looks of it he was painfully hard.

You had missed his cock. You had missed the way it felt in your hands, in your mouth, in your pussy. The ragged sigh that fell from your lips was one of desperation. You couldn't wait to have him inside of you again, but you knew you had to work for it.

With a desperate expression on your face, you darted your eyes up to Harry, waiting to see if he had any instructions you should follow. You practically melted at the way when sat there, leaned back with his head resting on his palm.

"Go ahead." He encouraged, and that was enough for you to spit on your hand and start stroking his length. Harry's jaw clenched in an instant and his body shifted just a tiny bit at your touch, but you noticed it nonetheless.

A breath of relief came all the way back from his throat, and it induced every bit of your confidence to see him crumble at your touch. You kept stroking him for a bit before you decided that enough was enough, you needed him in your mouth.

Reaching closer, you softly planted your lips  against his throbbing erection, and heard him gasp at the feeling of it. You spent the first few moments focusing on his sensitive tip and massaging his balls before pulling away from his hard shaft completely.

He had only opened his eyes halfway when you licked a stripe all the way from the base of his cock to the tip, and then took him in your mouth. His sudden body spasm caused his cock to dig deeper into your mouth, reaching the back of your throat. You moaned loudly, knowing you'd be completely drenched through your panties if he'd repeat his actions.

Harry hadn't missed your extremely loud and arousing reaction to him accidentally shoving his dick further up your throat. He had always just let you suck his dick. Out of the many things you'd tried together, he had never fucked your face before.

He was satisfied to hear you yell against his cock when he did it again.

"Do you like choking on my cock, sweetheart?" He questioned, bucking his hips when you squeezed his balls a bit. In retaliation, he gathered your hair together and wrapped it around his head.

"Let's see how well you can get me off, huh?" He grinned before pushing your head down on his cock. You focused on breathing through your nose as he used you as if he was using his own hands, and you loved it.

The noises that came out of your mouth were desperate and almost embarrassing. You looked up at Harry, who had his head thrown back as he went crazy with working himself up to an orgasm.

"You're such a fucking desperate cock slut. J-Just for me..." He talked to you, but mainly to get closer to his orgasm. You kept on touching his balls and let him use you to work himself to his high.

"Ah, I'm gonna cum– Fuck!" In the middle of his sentence, Harry's tight grip on your hair loosened and you felt the first spurts of his cum shoot through your throat. Your eyes fluttered shut, feeling proud of yourself for making him come so fast.

He pulled your head away from his cock and stroke his hand over your hair until it looked slightly less messy.

Without so much as a word, he put on his pants again and got out of his seat. He grabbed your wrist and guided you to his bed, where he ordered you to sit with your back leaned against the bed frame.

You patiently waited as he rummaged through his drawer and turned around with two ties in his hand. You tried to hide the grin that formed on your face, you knew this meant you were going to have great sex.

Whenever Harry did anything that involved bondage, it meant that you were going to have a great orgasm. You both got so turned on from it, and you had no idea why.

You obeyed him sweetly when he ordered you to hold your hands up, and looked at him with fond eyes as he tied your to his bed and blindfolded you. After the knot was secured, you heard his footsteps walking towards what you assumed to be the end of the bed.

"You look so pathetic, totally at my mercy. Be a good girl and stay still for me until I'm back." He bragged, drenching your core with his dirty words, until you realized what he was saying.

"Until you're back–" You couldn't even finish your sentence before the door slammed to interrupt it.

You couldn't believe it. Was he going to make you wait here? Tied up and blindfolded? What a fucking dick.

The wait was excruciating, especially considering your lack of knowledge about when he'd be back. It felt like hours, even though you knew it wasn't, maybe one hour. Nonetheless you suffered as you waited until Harry was choosing to come back to make you feel good.

You did realize how wrong it was to be so aroused by the fact that he used you like a rag doll, but you were also aware that your kinks didn't define anything about you in your day to day life. It was a sexual preference and it didn't say anything about you as a person.

The relief was insane when you heard the bedroom door open and a pair of footsteps graced the wooden floors.

"I got your phone, love." You heard Harry's footsteps stalk towards you. "Texted your mother and said you went home early because you were feeling sick."

"Thank you, sir."

At this point, you'd do and say anything for an orgasm, including thanking him for everything he did.

"Such good manners, darlin'. I think you should put those to use and inform your little date that you're not interested anymore, or ever were in the first place."

You hummed in agreement. You had never liked Dylan, and this was a good excuse to get him out of the way. Harry took your blindfold off, and though the soft light was harsh on your eyes, you were glad you could finally see him.

What you hadn't expected, though, was for Harry to actually call Dylan with your phone and lay the device next to you. You instantly started freaking out.

"Right now?!" You exclaimed, stressed and hoping Dylan wouldn't pick up.

"Yes." Harry answered like it was the most logical thing in the world.

"But–"

"Tell him or I won't let you cum." He barked, and just as he finished his sentence, Dylan picked up, and Harry went down.

His mouth touched your heat the second you heard a 'hello' through your phone's speaker.

"Dylan, hi!" You said breathily.

"Hey, I've been looking for you everywhere. Where are you?" He asked. The worry in his voice made Harry roll his eyes. He might have thought you couldn't see it, but during sex you would never keep your eyes off of Harry for even one second, and that included today.

"Oh.. I-I went home early. 'M not feeling so good!" You shrieked when Harry suddenly started to kitten lick your clit. The fucker really wanted you to slip up.

"Are you okay?"

"No! Yes! I mean, I almost tripped but I'm fine." You quickly made up an excuse. You couldn't tell if your cheeks were red from extreme embarrassment or plain arousal. Probably both.

"Okay. D'you want me to come over?"

As soon as those words left Dylan's mouth, Harry pulled away and spanked your clit, making your hips buck and let out a yelp.

"Hello?"

"N-no! I wanted to talk to you about that..." you said, and the whiny tone in your voice sounded like you were getting emotional over it, when in reality you were just frustrated with Harry teasing you so much. "I don't think we should date anymore."

"What? Why not? Did I do something?"

"I just–" I looked down at Harry, who raised his brows at me, which meant 'go on, tell him'.

"I'm... with somebody else."

"Wait what?" The aggression in Dylan's voice made Harry stop in his tracks. He got off the bed and sat next to you before slipping in two fingers without warning. You let out a gasp, quite literally crumbling at his touch, but he was focused on the phone call, a deep crease between his brows as he listened to Dylan.

"Why didn't you fucking tell me that three dates ago?"

Harry's eyes darted towards you, waiting for your answer. It seemed like he was genuinely curious about what you had to say.

"It's complicated, okay? I just– I can't date you anymore, I belong to someone else now."

You couldn't bring yourself to keep your eyes open as you answered Dylan. It was true, you did belong to Harry. You could pretend all you want but at the end of the day he was right, you'd always come back to him. Dylan could listen for all you cared, you just needed Harry inside of you.

"I don't think it's complicated, I just think you're a slu—”

Suddenly, the phone call stopped.

Your eyes shot open, and you were met with the sight of Harry throwing your phone on the chair next to the bed.

With a bit of tension in your stomach from the words you'd uttered just before, you watched as Harry pulled his fingers out of you and made his way back to his former position, with his head between your legs.

He didn't say anything, he just put his tongue on your clit and started flicking mercilessly while simultaneously shoving three fingers inside of you. You screamed out at the sudden motion, giving your wrists a hard tug against the knotted tie around them.

Your back arched as you felt your high nearing. You didn't think you would have the ability to wait until you got verbal permission from Harry to come, but the way he was attacking your clit seemed like permission enough.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck... I'm gonna cum, 'm gonna– oh my god! Please!" You rambled on and on, feeling the need to beg for a release anyway. It was like your body didn't allow you to do anything unless he said so.

"Please, please... daddy, please!" The desperate cries made him moan out, the vibrations on your clit sending shocks through your body. He ripped his mouth away from you and replaced it with his finger which rubbed dizzily fast circles on your clit.

"C'mon, soak my fingers baby."

His taunting voice was the last thing you heard before a high pitched ringing took over, and you could've sworn you blacked out for a second. The pulsating waves of pleasure took over your entire body from head to toe, and soon enough you realized what was happening.

You had just squirted all over the bed, and Harry.

Your entire body felt exhausted from this orgasm alone, and you found yourself wondering how the hell you were going to survive tonight because you knew it wouldn't be the last one.

"Fucking hell." Harry breathed a soft chuckle of pride, taking off his now wet dress shirt. "I've never been able to get you to do that before."

"I've never been able to do that before, ever." I laughed along, flabbergasted at how good that felt. Harry just smiled, a real smile, before he crawled over you and undid the knot that tied you to the bed. He threw the tie to the side and leaned forwards to cup your face before kissing you. You instantly wrapped your legs around his waist, pushing him against you even more. As your tongues circled around each other, Harry slowly switched positions until he was laying besides you .

The kiss lasted a while, and it held a newfound passion to it that you hadn't experienced in your previous times kissing Harry. When he pulled away, he kept himself quiet, scanning every feature in your face while his thumb stroked your cheek.

"Did you mean that?" He finally spoke up.

"What?" You slightly tilted your head, confused with his soft tone all of a sudden. You weren't used to this version of him.

"That you're mine."

"Harry, I—"

"Because I want you to be. I want you to be mine, and I want to be yours, if you'll have me." He confessed, and you could've sworn you felt yourself melt into the bed.

Your parents were going to disown you. You were going to get kicked out of the house and have nothing left but the words of an unpredictable man.

There had never been a clearer, better answer for this, and yet you found yourself still wanting to say the exact opposite.

"My parents hate you, Harry. And for the right reasons. Your life... it's dangerous. I shouldn't be getting sucked into that." You began talking, and saw the way he lost hope for a positive answer.

Suddenly, you rolled over so that the both of you were flipped, and you were sitting on his lap. He laid there, eyes a bit wide at you suddenly taking charge. He was obviously curious to see where it was going, otherwise he wouldn't have let you.

"I know all of this..." You leaned forwards stroking your hands through his hair. "And I still can't keep my hands off of you."

With those words you pulled at his roots, making Harry wince under you. His jaw was slacked, and he felt confused with how arousing this was. Harry had never been in any other position than the dominant one, nothing else had ever turned him on before, except for this, for you.

"I know I shouldn't, but I still can't stop myself from craving your big, sweet cock." You continued, taking off your bra and smirking at the way his tattooed chest rose up and down quickly sight of your bare breasts. You lifted yourself up a bit, getting your pussy in line with the tip of his cock.

"And I can't help but–" you cut yourself off with a loud moan as you sank on his hard and long shaft. Slowly but surely, you began to grind back and forth, getting comfortable with his length again as it had been a while.

"Oh! Mmm, fuck!" You cried out.

"Look at you—" Harry leaned on his elbows, looking up at you with fond eyes. "fucking yourself with my cock. Does that feel good, baby?"

"Mm.. ah– it feels so good sir." You were panting now, overwhelmed with how good it felt to have him inside of you again. You started bouncing yourself on his dick to get some tempo into it.

"Such pretty tits." He mumbled, fondling them and pinching your nipples. "All mine, baby?"

He couldn't help but ask, you didn't finish your little speech after all because you were too desperate for his cock.

"Tell me." He encouraged, spanking your ass with his right hand, which made you sink down on his cock very swiftly. "Are you mine, now?"

You moaned and cried and whined, but still managed to conjure a slight smirk on your face as you looked at him.

"Make me yours, daddy."

That was enough for Harry, and before you knew it, you were pulled off his cock and thrown on the bed, laying on your stomach.

In an instant, you felt your lips being lifted up and his cock being sunk into you again. Harry leaned forward to grab your worst and hold them on your back, before nearly pulling out and then ramming himself into you at an ungodly pace. It caused a high pitched scream to leave your mouth, something which did not happen often during sex for you.

"That's right, take it." he kept his quick pace steady as you gasped from under him. "Whose fucking pussy is this, hmm? I wanna hear you say it."

Your sounds were slightly muffled by the pillow and therefore incomprehensible, so he leaned over and grabbed your neck, choking you as he pulled your head up.

"C'mon, who owns you?"

"You do! Fuck! You own me, daddy, I'm yo– oh! 'M yours!" Your answer came out like it was word vomit. You couldn't stop saying everything he wanted to hear, and he loved it. He got off on your submission to him, on the way you let him be in control. He'd never admit it, but the main reason he took such a liking to it is because it showed that you trusted him despite what you knew about him.

He kept pounding into you, and smirking when he felt your core clenching against his cock already.

"You gonna cum already?"

"Mm.. yesss!"

"Pathetic little cock slut... you just love getting used, don't you?"

When you didn't answer, he spanked you, hard.

"I do! I do, sir!" You quickly replied, your ears ringing from the stinging pain on your bum.

"You know you're nothing more than a hole for me to use at any time I want. My filthy little whore. All mine, forever." It was now Harry's turn to start rambling, and he almost lost himself, but quickly regained traction. He wasn't done with you, and he couldn't permit himself to cum yet.

You did cum, though. The moment the word 'forever' left his mouth, you exploded, in every way possible. You entire body was spasming and Harry slowed himself down as you creamed his cock. The sounds of your intercourse become more adamant now that there was more... liquid involved, and hearing Harry's cock in your pussy was the definition of arousal for you.

Harry didn't exactly let you ride out your high, instead pushing you fully down on the bed and flipping your body so you were laying on your sides. He held his hands firmly on your hips as he went to lay down behind you.

You were quite surprised with the position, it was something you two had never done before. Harry always deemed positions like that to be too intimate, so it felt out of the ordinary for him to have you like this, but now that you were being really intimate it also felt way better.

The groan leaving Harry's throat when he pushed himself inside you again confirmed that he was thinking the same thing. Your jaw was slacked, euphoria shooting through your body at the feeling of the new angle and a certain spot he managed to hit very easily.

"O-oh my..." The half-sentence escaped your lips before you could even think about what you were saying.

"Did I hit your sweet spot, baby? Is that right?" Harry taunted. His body was entirely pressed up against yours, and you could hear him panting against your neck.

"Yeah— Fuck!"

Your response was interrupted by Harry, who decided that it was the perfect timing for him to get in an extra hard thrust. Solely that action had almost made you come, and while you felt it slowing down quickly afterwards, it didn't take long to rise again when he started kissing your neck.

You turned your head around with the energy you had left, and pleaded for him to kiss you, to which he happily obliged. The taste of him against your lips, the feeling of him inside of you and the sound of his skin slapping against yours proved too much for you to bare, but you desperately wanted to try and come undone at the same time. And so, you pulled away from Harry's soft lips to whisper some dirty words right back to him.

"Harry, baby..." you said in a whiny voice, causing him to moan. You knew he wouldn't approve of you just calling him Harry between the sheets, you were taking a risk with this, but luckily he didn't mind.

In fact, he was going mad. Those words sounded so good coming from your mouth, especially now he knew that they were directed to him.

"Wh-what is it, darling?" He tried to keep his composure, almost exploding at the mere sight of you looking so fucked out.

"I want you to cum, daddy... with me. Please? I've been so good." You requested, putting up your best puppy eyes. Harry winced at your words, knowing there was no holding him back now.

"I'll fill you up, baby. Get yourself there again, then." He managed to say, rocking into you more slowly, but with more impact. It was easier to keep up at least some rhythm this way.

You guided your hand to your sensitive clit and started rubbing it ferociously. You're were aware of the fact that Harry wasn't going to be able to hold it in for much longer. With how aroused you were, you didn't think it to be much of a problem. Harry's right hand had traveled to your tits in the mean time, massaging them harshly while he resumed rocking into you. And just like clockwork, you were getting dangerously close to your orgasm again.

"I'm gonna cum, daddy! Ahh!!" You screamed out shamelessly, unable to stop yourself from rubbing your clit. It was as if your fingers were glued to your vagina, you couldn't deny yourself from this orgasm. The way your pussy was pulsating was also noted by Harry, who was growling like an animal. He became more and more aggressive with how hard he was fucking into you, the entire bed shaking from the impact.

"Jesus fuck— I'm coming, I'm— argh!" the string of incoherent words left his mouth as your body bounced along to his slamming thrusts. Soon enough, you heard some exhausted moans coming from Harry as he fucked himself through his orgasm. The beautiful sounds from your now-boyfriend were the final thing that brought you to your third climax of the night.

You screamed out in ecstasy, as the pulsating waved of pleasure took you away for a second. It felt like all your sense had shut off for those moments, and that there was nothing else but immense pleasure.

Harry came inside you, filling your walls with his cum. It felt too good to be true, especially combined with the guttural grunts coming from the back of his throat as he buried his head into your neck. When you noticed the grip on your hips had become less firm, you knew that he was slowly coming down from his orgasm. You both were both still panting, and kept silent as Harry carefully pulled himself out of you.

The empty feeling you had was made up for by a ton of kisses to your neck and your cheek, which made you chuckle a bit.

"Are you okay, baby?" Harry asked. No matter how many times you guys shared the bed, you would never not get butterflies from his attentiveness after the sex. He'd do everything you asked. Hell, he'd run around town looking for everything you need if he had to.

"Never been better." You turned your head to look at him; you wanted him to know that it wasn't some sarcastic comment. In fact, you were ecstatic with the fact that whatever was going on between the two of you was now settled.

"Can't believe you're mine now." He sighed, his face painted with a smile so big that you could see his dimples from miles away. He planted a kiss to your swollen lips and ran his hands through your messy hair.

"Yeah, you're stuck with me forever." You teased, your hand now also finding his brown locks.

"Hmm, best life sentence I could ask for."

[ro-is-struggling]

Halo, I would like to request james potter × slytherin!reader with this lyrics “Just because it won't come easily // Doesn't mean we shouldn't try” (Easily by Bruno Major) when you're a pureblood prince/princess, and you and james are secretly in love. But of course, there have plenty of problems along this journey. But in the end, you guys end up together. Massive angst in the beginning and fluff in the end. Thanks!

Hi beautiful💜 Thank you so much for participating in the celebration!! I'm sorry it took me so long to get to your request, but better late than never, I guess. This one came to me so quick I'm kinda pissed it took me so long to sit down and write it. No kidding, I wrote it in like 2 days wich is really fast for my overthinker ass lol I hope that you like it 💕

Easily || James Potter x Slytherin!Reader

Summary: Your social status and the expectations of your parents don't allow you to date someone like James, so you keep your relationship a secret. However, when he decides he can't go through with the act anymore, you find the courage to stand up to your family.

Warnings: angst, secret relationship, fluff, fem!reader, slytherin!reader

English is not my first language

Word count: 4000

This fic is part of my 600 followers celeration

James watched you from his place at the Gryffindor table, sad eyes glued to your figure. You were with him again, chatting over breakfast as if you were best friends. James knew the boy's true intentions, the whole school did, but he could do nothing but stare with hatred at the way he 'accidentally' touched your arm.

There was nothing he wanted more than to run up to you, take you in his arms and kiss you in front of the whole Slytherin table so that everyone would know that you were his. But he knew he couldn't. The only thing that making your relationship public would do for you was bring you more pain and suffering. Your parents were very strict, pureblood wizard royalty who looked down on most of the wizarding community. They had a well-planned future for you, with everything and a partner included, and James was far from that ideal. He knew that you hated it, that you felt trapped in a life you didn't want and that you loved him above all else. That was the only thing that kept him sane when he had to see you sucking up to that slytherin boy your parents adored, knowing that you were only really you when you were with him. But lately it was getting hard for him.

It was hard for him to live on stolen moments, sneaking around the castle just so he could be with you for a little while. It was hard to pretend to be indifferent when he saw you walking through the corridors, holding hands with that guy like you really liked him. It was hard to love you in secret, knowing that your relationship was disapproved of by everyone you knew. James wanted to shout from the rooftops about how much he loved you and how happy he was with you, but he couldn't do more than whisper to his pillow every night about how much he wanted to be with you.

He had been wondering lately if all the pain was really worth it. He loved you, but that wasn't enough to help him bear the weight on his chest anymore. He wondered what was the point of holding on to something that hurt him so much for just a few minutes of happiness. You had no possible future, at least not a happy one. Maybe it was better to end things before it got any harder. Maybe the heartbreak of having to let you go now would save him a lot of pain in the future. Maybe it was time to face reality, put aside his desires and accept that his love was nothing more than a forbidden dream.

Doubts were going around in his mind at all times, not leaving him a second of peace for himself. At least that was until you appeared, your smile emerging in the darkness of the hallway as you ran into his arms. And as he held you close, all questions were silenced by the intense love he felt for you, heart beating hard against yours. All you had to do was kiss him and he fell, surrendered to the softness of your lips, loving the way you whispered his name and told him how much you missed him. 

For a moment, everything was right again. You were with him, where you belonged, and the world seemed to be a better place. It was a fantasy, a fictional world you created every time you snuck out at night to see each other, but it was your world at last. A bubble of happiness, away from the sad reality outside. There were no parents or social mandates, no expectations or hatreds to separate you, just you, James and the love you had for each other.

He allowed himself to indulge in the fantasy, losing himself in the softness of your lips and the warmth that your delicate touch awakened in his skin. But then he felt it. That guy’s perfume lingered on your skin, like a constant reminder that you weren't his —not really, not like James wanted you to be-and that you never would be.

"Wait, stop!" He murmured against your lips, lightly pushing your shoulders away from him. 

"What's wrong?" you frowned at him, confused by his sudden rejection. Did you do something wrong?

James looked at you for a moment, but remained silent, watching the concern in your eyes as he wondered if he really was about to voice his concerns. You tried to approach him again, stepping forward and placing a hand on his chest. But to your surprise he pulled back, giving your hand a light squeeze before removing it from his body. Then he let out a long sigh, closing his eyes for a moment as he prepared himself for what he was about to do.

"This... w-we... I can't do this anymore." James struggled to say, unsure of what were the right words to communicate what he was feeling.

"What do you mean?" You spoke cautiously, hoping he didn't mean what you thought he was getting at. 

"I can't keep hiding us, our love, what I feel for you... It's too hard, I can't do it anymore." Your eyes glistened with accumulated tears and James felt his heart break into a thousand pieces once again. He hated to be the cause of your pain, but he had to be honest with you. The situation surpassed you and the love you had for each other was no longer enough, not for him at least.

"I know it's hard, it always has been. But we can get through this, James. I know we can." You reached out once more and this time he didn't reject your touch. You cradled his cheek with your hand and he leaned into your touch, closing his eyes for a moment. "I love you, Jamie."

"I love you too, but I'm afraid that's not enough. Not anymore." 

When James opened his eyes, you saw tears in them. He was hurting as much as you were, so why was he doing this? From the very beginning you two knew that your relationship would not be easy. You warned him countless times, rejecting his advances over and over again to protect him. He had assured you that he didn't care, that he would put up with anything to be with you. His insistence was the only thing that persuaded you to accept his advances, thinking that he would really support you and fight for your love. But now that seemed to be nothing more than empty promises.

"So you're just going to give up?" You asked, taking a few steps back as your sadness mixed with anger. James was supposed to be different, that's why you had opened your heart to him. "Just because it won't come easily doesn't mean we shouldn't try."

"But we did try and it's not working." James sighed, leaning against the wall with slumped shoulders. "I can't keep seeing you with him. I can't keep pretending that it doesn't kill me to see him being all over you, thinking that you're his. I can't stand to see the indifference in your eyes every time we're in public. It hurts too much."

“Do you think that it doesn’t hurt me?” 

Your voice broke. Tears rolled down your cheeks, unable to hold them back a second longer. James felt even worse. Every fiber in his body was screaming at him to run and hug you, to hold you close to him and never let you go. But he held back. This was a difficult but necessary conversation. He could no longer ignore his own pain —or yours.

"Do you think I like to be with him?" you continued, wiping your tears with the back of your hand. "Do you think I like ignoring you all day? You're the only good thing in my life, James."

"Then why do we keep hurting each other?" James said, almost whispering. There was a clear sadness in his voice that made the knot in your throat tighten. "Love is not supposed to hurt this much."

Your gaze softened as you noticed in his eyes just how deep James' pain was. A fresh wave of tears rolled down your eyes as you realized your mistake. All this time you had been asking so much of him, thinking he would be okay because you were. Your life was hell, but it all got better if you could just get five minutes alone with him. He was what made your days tolerable, he was the one who put a smile on your lips. James was the light at the end of the tunnel, a ray of hope for your future. But he didn't have your life, so your relationship probably didn't mean the same to you as it did to him.

James had wonderful parents who adored him and supported him in everything. He had friends who loved him and whom he could confide in. He wasn't lonely like you, he didn't need to cling to your love to feel a little happiness. He was happy with or without you because he had the freedom to make whatever he wanted with his life. Hiding and having to lie about his feelings probably hurt him more than it hurt you because James didn't have much to gain in your relationship. You were the one that would lose everything if he wasn't by your side. The suffering you were putting him through probably wasn't worth it to him, not in the same way it was to you.

You had been selfish. All this time you had thought only of yourself, how happy you were when James wrapped you in his arms, how easy it was to get out of bed in the morning knowing that at night you could be with him. James gave you a purpose, a glimmer of hope of escaping the perfectly planned future your parents had planned for you. But you offered him nothing but animosity and suffering that was only rewarded with a couple of hours of intimacy and happiness a day —if you were lucky. All this time you had been hurting him more than you knew, ignoring his pain for your happiness. And realizing that made you feel horribly bad about yourself.

"Maybe you're right." You spoke after a long silence. "Maybe it's better to stop this before it goes too far. We both knew it was just a dumb fantasy anyways." You let out a bitter chuckle, wiping away your tears as you took a step closer to James. "I'm sorry for dragging you into this. I never wanted to hurt you, James."

"I don't regret our relationship, we were just trying to make it work. And I don't regret my love for you, I... I just can't do this anymore."

"I love you," you murmured, reaching out to caress her cheek once more. You gave him a smile —trying to pretend you weren't falling apart on the inside—, but it quickly turned into a sad pout. "And that's why I have to let you go. I can't keep hurting you like this. I'm sorry, James. I truly am."

He rested his hand on yours, keeping you from removing it from his cheek. If this was your goodbye, James wanted to enjoy your touch at least for a little while longer, to remember the softness of your hands and the warmth of your skin against his body. He knew that what he would miss the most were your kisses and the sound of your laughter, but he had to get used to it. This was for the best.

"I love you too."

You shared a kiss, one last goodbye kiss. Your lips moved slowly over James', trying to drag out the moment as long as possible. You were going to miss his kisses, the taste of his mouth and the way his lips molded to yours, as if they had been specially created to fit together like two pieces of a puzzle. 

You didn't want the moment to end. You didn't want to face the cruel reality that would come as soon as he parted. You wanted to get lost in the sweet taste of his lips and make a refuge out of his warm embrace. But that was impossible. You had lost your chance with him and now you had nothing left to do but watch him go. It broke your heart, but it hurt more to know that it was your love that caused him pain. Hopefully James could heal now, forget about you, find someone who could make him happy. And you... that didn't matter. What mattered to you was that he was happy.

Two weeks.

Only two weeks had passed and you were totally miserable without James by your side.

You were used to the pain of seeing him walk through the halls without being able to even give him a smile, but it had never felt like this. This time it was much more intense, visceral. A tug at your heart that paralyzed you every time you saw him laughing with another girl. It was the pain of knowing that his heart no longer belonged to you. The pain of his absence, of the lack of his soft touches and gentle words of love whispered in furtive encounters. You missed him and, no matter how hard you tried, it was impossible to hide it.

All your 'friends' knew something was wrong with you, but they didn't care enough to do anything about it. They would make a few teasing comments when they noticed your absence in a group conversation or ask you curiously what it was that you were staring at with such intensity —unaware that your eyes were fixed on James—, but nothing more than that. You were essentially a ghost, a shell of your former self. You moved about the castle and went about your routine as usual, but there was no real emotion behind the fake smile you forced yourself to put on in front of the others. Nothing made sense after losing James. 

You had given up on life completely. You had no more energy or motivation to keep fighting anymore, it was too hard. Maybe it was time for you to accept your fate, just like all the women in your family had done. Maybe you had to give up and face the cruel reality: you were not meant to be happy. It made sense, the one time you had pursued your own happiness, away from your parents' wishes, you ended up hurting the only person who had ever truly loved you.

James deserved someone so much better than you. He deserved to be with someone without having to hide, someone who didn't have to think twice before holding his hand or kissing him in public. He deserved someone who wasn't afraid to say he loved him and show it in front of a room full of people. And as much as it hurt, that wasn't you, so you had to give up and let him go. You had to accept that maybe the fact that things didn't go so easily for you was a sign, a message from destiny telling you that you shouldn't be together. 

It was the best thing for both of you, you knew that, but that didn't make things any easier. It hurt you to see James talking to Lily, flirting with her in a not-so-subtle way when you were only a couple of feet away. You knew that the best thing for him was to find someone else who could make him happy, but seeing him do exactly that broke your heart.

Why couldn't you be the one for him? Why couldn't you enjoy your love in public like everyone else? Why couldn't you hold his hand as you walked down the halls or kiss him without fearing what others would say? Why couldn't you be happy with him?

You realized then what a big mistake you were making.

You could do all those things with James. The only thing that was really holding you back was your family and the opinions of a bunch of people you didn't care about in the slightest. You were letting them influence you, believing the story that you couldn't be happy unless you followed the path they wanted you to follow. You were giving up your power, your autonomy and your future as your parents expected. You were letting them break your spirit and get away with it by giving up so easily.

Maybe that negative voice in your mind was right and James deserved better, but so did you. You deserved to be happy and have the chance to explore and discover your own destiny. And right now that happiness, that path you wanted to follow, included having James by your side. So you got up from your seat at the Slytherin table —ignoring the looks of confusion from your study group— and ran in search of that destiny.

Finding James wasn't difficult, he was chatting with his friends in the courtyard under the shade of a tree. Lily was with them, but you tried not to let that affect you, taking a deep breath before approaching them. The closer you got, the more you felt the stares of everyone around you. You were the Slytherin princess and everyone was well aware of your parents' position on blood purity. They also knew the opposite position of James, Sirius and most of the Gryffindors. There was no reason for you to be approaching them, so people couldn't take their eyes off you, mumbling under their breath as they watched you walk by.

But you didn't let that get to you. You were determined not to let it bother you ever again. People could talk all they wanted, your parents could get angry and your Slytherin friends could isolate you, none of that mattered to you anymore. All you cared about was James.

"Can we talk?" You cleared your throat both as a way to get noticed as well as to make sure your voice sounded loud and clear. 

Everyone looked at you with wide eyes full of surprise, not understanding what it was that someone like you could want to discuss with one of them. Knowing that James hadn't even told Sirius, who was like his brother, about you gave you a bittersweet feeling. On the one hand, it was nice that he had been so willing to keep your secret that he hadn't even mentioned it to his best friend. On the other hand, it made you feel bad to know how alone he had been in all this, and made you wonder if maybe there weren't other reasons why he hadn't told his friends. Maybe he was also afraid of them finding out he was in love with you. Maybe his friends hated you and wouldn't accept James going out with you. Maybe...

"Here?" James spoke, interrupting your thoughts. He looked around, noticing the many eyes glued to your back. "Are you sure?" he insisted, and you nodded. There was not going to be any more sneaking around.

James walked a couple of steps beside you, seeking to get a distance from his friends so that you could have a private conversation. However, when he tried to take advantage of a tree to hide from the prying eyes of the other Hogwarts students, you stopped him, opting to remain in plain sight. 

"What are you doing?" He said and you didn't have to ask him what he meant to understand that he was confused by your attitude. The rules had always been clear, no one could see you together because it would raise suspicions and could reach your parents' ears. So he wondered why you were suddenly approaching him to talk to him in a public space.

"I don't care if they see us together!" You spat without hesitation, deciding it was best to get straight to the point. "Not anymore."

"What?" The surprise was clear in James's expression —eyes widening and lips trembling as he spoke. He definitely wasn't expecting you to say that.

"I've been thinking a lot these past few days and I realized how wrong I was. I put you through so much, made you sacrifice everything for me and the moment you told me you had enough I just gave up."

"Y/n, it's okay, I-" He tried to say, but you interrupted him, taking a step towards him and taking one of his hands. James' eyes rested on your intertwined fingers for a moment, before returning to your face.

"Let me finish, this is important." you told him and he simply nodded. "It wasn't fair, the way I treated you. I isolated you and hurted you just because I was scared of my family, of what they might do to me. I made you sacrifice everything for me and when it was my time to do the same I just let you go instead... and that was wrong of me, and I'm here to make it right."

"Y/n, what are you saying?" James asked cautiously, waiting to hear from your own lips what he believed was what you were referring to —that which he had been waiting to hear since the day your relationship had ended.

"I'm saying that I'm sorry. I'm saying that I love you and that I want to fight for us if that still is what you want."

"A-are y-you sure?" It wasn't that James wasn't happy to hear you say that. It was literally a dream come true for him. But he didn't want to force you to do something you would later regret. He hadn't broken up with you to manipulate you, he had done it because he really needed a break. He didn't expect his decision to change your mind, even though he really wanted to. There was nothing in the world James wanted more than to be able to make his love public, but at the same time he didn't want to hurt you. And he knew that your relationship would only bring you trouble.

"I've never been more sure of anything in my entire life." you told him with a smile that made all his doubts and built up sadness disappear. "I want to be with you, Jamie. You are my happiness, and if my parents can't see that...well, that's their problem, not mine."

James smiled, taking a step toward you to close the distance between you. He reached out his hand with the intention of caressing your cheek, but stopped halfway, his eyes looking over your shoulder at the people watching you curiously. At his hesitation, you took his hand in yours and brought it up to your cheek, closing your eyes for a moment as you enjoyed feeling the warmth of his skin against yours once again.

"Can... can I kiss you?" James muttered, his voice an almost inaudible whisper. His eyes were focused on your lips, admiring them with need. He knew it would be best for you to go slowly, but he missed your lips so much that he couldn't contain the need to kiss them again.

"Please."

James looked into your eyes one last time before closing the distance between you, bringing your lips together in a long awaited kiss. It was quick, his lips moving delicately over yours, but no less intense for that. It was just what you both needed at that moment, to feel each other's love, which remained as strong as the day you said goodbye. 

Neither of you cared about the looks of the others around you as you pulled away from the kiss. You were too happy for that. All you had to do was look into James' warm eyes and all your worries disappeared. You knew things wouldn't be easy and that you'd probably be hearing your parents' scolding in no time, but you were ready to face it. You could face anything if James promised to stay by your side.

[satoshy12]

Tiny Percy

Tiny demigod Percy did beat up bigger bully in School. And the thing is, no one believes the bullies when they go to the teacher to snitch (many bullies are that way). The victim fights back! I will make him a bad person!

The situation worsened as Percy confronted Ethan Thompson after he attempted to grab his lunch once more. Percy beat up the taller bully.

After the event was reported via email, Principal Matthews called Ethan, his parents, Karen and David Thompson, and Sally Jackson.

Percy was immediately accused by Karen, who said, "Your son assaulted my baby boy, Ethan." 

Sally Jackson, Percy's mother, responded with disbelief, "I don't believe it. It can't be true."

At the same time, Percy's home teacher and swimming and gym instructor, Coach Anderson, weighed in skeptically, saying, "I find it hard to believe. Perseus has a lot of athletic potential. Let's avoid drawing hasty assumptions." The suggestion is that, given young Percy's ability, he would simply ignore it even if he did participate in such an activity.

David Thompson chimed in, "You've seen how Ethan is." Ethan has several bandages prominently around his head and limbs, indicating that there are several wounds or abrasions below. There appears to be a fracture to one arm, as indicated by the cast, which is kept immobile by a sling. His face is rather bloated, and the bruises that have caused his skin to become purple and yellow are a few days old. Patches adhere to various body areas, perhaps masking minor wounds or scratches. "My child is an MMA fighter! Explain this!!

Sally was unwavering in her belief that Percy was innocent, saying, "It just can't be Percy."

David brushed off Sally's justification, saying, "Don't try to excuse it!!"

Principal Matthews stepped in and called Percy into his office, recognizing the gravity of the issue. He hit a button on his radio. "Perseus, could you please come to the principal's office?"

Shortly after, there was a very young voice that said, "It's Percy, and you all know it." 

The parents saw that Percy was considerably smaller than Ethan as he walked in.

This even made some kids and professors chuckle, as it finally made the Thompsons' parents understand why their assertions appeared improbable to others.

The parents, bewildered as to how their small child could have surpassed their strong son, were left to wrestle with the possibility that their son's story could not be credible. To hide a friend who had committed this, he just told lies.

"We would just now depart, and it would be best if we forgot about this whole thing," David Thompson said as he got to his feet. "It seems like I noticed the error."  Karen quickly got to her feet as well and dragged her son out. Already, this was too much for her, and she was terribly ashamed. She didn't even look aside as she dragged her son, Ethan, along.

"Can I stay here till math is done?" Percy asked Principal Matthews as the three of them were outside and heard the two parents scream at Ethan.

Sally gave her son a look and said, "No." Percy simply turned and walked out the door. "Drat."

[kkpaaw]

Continuation of this post about Jay being adopted by Ray and Maya cuz I still have it on my mind

Basically this post is a peek into how it was before Maya and Ray vanished. So sweet cute and wholesome family moments before the angst.

_____

So after Libber vanishes Ray and Maya do take care of Jay like he's their own. Kai is introduced and makes it pretty clear with his limited vocabulary that he doesn't like Jay. He was told he was getting a cute lil sister not an ugly lil brother!

Maya gently scolded him while Ray died of laughter. They made sure to tell him that he was still getting a lil sister and that Jay is just another addition to the family.

They made sure to make room for Jay in their home. He and Kai ended up sharing bedrooms with his crib on the otherside of the room. Kai did not like this and made it known but there's nothing he can do about it.

Nya is born a few months later and Kai loves her but to his horror she seemed much more attached to Jay and he didn't like that at all.

Meanwhile Jay loves Kai the most and was always smiles and giggles around him. If anything Kais glares just made him laugh. Maya found it very amusing.

In fact Kai doesn't get over his Jay hating ways until Jay's first steps at 10 months, which were directed towards him

Ray made sure to take a picture of Kai crying big glob tears as he tried to look angry at the happy Jay in his arms babbling away

After that you would have been hard pressed to find them seperate. In fact once Jay started walking more they became a mischievous duo who always got into stuff. Maya and Ray were always on their guard when they were together.

Jay's first words were as u expected directed to Kai. He tried to say Kai but it kept coming out as Ki (which ended up being a funny nickname Jay still calls Kai to this day). Kai cried even more and Maya got the picture that time.

When Nya finally started to walk at an astounding 9 months, her first walk was to Jay, her clearly favorite brother much to Kai's chagrin.

But her first words only 2 months later was mama much to her father's chagrin and her mother's glee. He had to pay her for losing that bet.

While they thought that Nya would be the "good" child they were abruptly proven wrong. Because she was so attached to Jay wherever he went she went too and as such got dragged into whatever shenanigans the other two go into and was way too eager to help out. Didn't understand a dang thing but she was just happy to participate.

Ray and Maya started referring to them as the troublesome trio

The early years were full of fun and although the kids got into trouble more often then not Maya and Ray still found the moments of mischief amusing

Jay fit in so well you woulda assumed he wasn't adopted.

It was nice.

And then their parents vanished when Kai was just 5 leaving him to care for two 3 year olds and things went downhill from there cuz we can't have anything nice

______

There will be another post cus I have more to say believe it or not I'm having fun with this Au

[spidernuggets]

Jason Todd x Reader

That song "Loser Baby" from Hazbin Hotel has been on my mind ever since I watched the video, and I'm like, ooooh, prompt idea ✨️✨️

Basically, Jason and Reader are both members of the Titans, Jason's going through some shit, thinking he's alone to deal with it because the other members never cared about his problems, so Reader is there to sort of comfort him!

WARNINGS: mentions of suicide, drug use, weaponry use

Notes: Based on HBO Titans, timelines are mixed, idk how a molotov cocktail works, just go w it, unrealistic gun use

Another day, another failed mission. Why? Jason took the impulsive decision to dive in, head first, into the first danger he saw, which led them to be ambushed by other criminals. Sure, they got the majority locked up, but now the others are spread around Gotham now trying to get backup.

And like most times, when Jason messes up now and again, the members start pointing fingers while Dick was at GCPD.

"We went through the plan a million times, kid," Hank grunts. "You wait for Dick's signal!"

"Yeah, yeah! I heard you the first time," Jason spits back. He's been hearing this ever since the whole fiasco ended up until now as everyone got back to the tower. "Get off my back, will you, at least I fuckin' tried, asshole."

"And we would've completed the mission successfully if you tried after Dick gave the cue," Kory chimes in. "You need to work on your patience."

"Whatever," Jason mumbles storming back into his room.

Just as he was, you were exiting your own room, located just beside Jason's.

"Hi, Jay, how was the- oh...kay?" Just as you were greeting the young vigilante, he ignored you, slamming his door shut.

You walk into the lobby. Though you were a member of the Titans, you didn't participate often in missions. You design and create weaponry for the other members, especially Dick and Jason, as they don't have any powers. You excused yourself from joining the missions because although you knew how and when to use your mechanics best, your combat and stealth skills aren't as advanced.

You picked up this interest of building and experimenting after a few downfalls earlier in your life before Dick found you and took you in.

You grew up on the not so upper class side of Gotham City, and you were not an intentionally planned kid. Your parents made bad decisions, weren't married, and both were struggling in their own way. But your dad soon realised that it was all too much for him. He couldn't take care of himself, let alone take care of a kid, his kid. Soon enough, he reached his limit and swallowed a few too many pills.

That's when your mom went spiralling into her own depression. She smoked more cigs, snorted more coke, and drank more alcohol. And when you were old enough to comprehend the profanity she spat at you, she figured that you were smart enough to live life on your own. So she kicked you out. Later that night, when you came back, just to double check if your mom was just on a high and didn't mean what she said, she was gone. The only evidence to prove she was there were the smashed bourbon bottles and and cigarette butts scattered across the floor.

You sat yourself on the couch, legs tucked into your chest as you wrapped your arms to secure them in place and waited patiently for your mom to come home.

But she never did.

Some bad people were after you, claiming that your mother had owed them a shit ton of money. When you told them you didn't know where she was, they said that you'd have to continue to pay back her debt. You had nowhere else to go. So every time they'd come knocking on your door, you'd bolt out through the fire escape.

You had a molotov cocktail in your hand, a little something you saw your dad do once when he was in a difficult situation such as yours. This is the first time you've tried to use it before. You're scared that saving the bottle would be a waste of time. What if you threw it and the fire just went out? What if it wouldn't have the effect you'd expect? What if it would hurt you too in the process??

You just prayed. Prayed for some sort of miracle. In your other hand, spray on deodorant that you stole from the grocery store a walk away from your apartment.

There's a recently abandoned one-story house just down the road.

Lure them there, spray the room, blow 'em up.

You repeated the plan to yourself. So many things can go wrong. You couldn't do anything but pray.

Your chest ached when you got to the building. You covered your face as you choked, inhaling the deodorant that you sprayed around the room.

"There they are!" One of the men yelled towards your direction. You waited. Just a couple seconds.

You ran out the back window as they crashed through the door. Looking back, you waited as much as you could, making sire as much of the men entered the house.

Now.

You lit the cloth on fire, using your mom's lighter, one of the things you kept, and threw it through the window. And just like that, the fire caught onto the particles of the deodorant, and as the bottle smashed to the concrete floor, the building as a whole burst into flames, the painful screams of men remaining in the house.

"Oh my god, it worked!" You said to yourself, panting as you continue to run away.

From then on, you experimented with other, easier ways to create the same kind of effect. You used scraps of metal, lead wires from lightbulbs, plus lightbulb shards to create explosives to protect you.

Soon, your knowledge of weaponry expanded. You managed to steal a gun from one of the men that were after you. You liked to know how things worked. And you liked to manipulate how they worked.

You spent your time disassembling your new gun and eventually created a new weapon of your own. You'd pretend to be too scared to use it, bad man grabs it off you, aim it at you, pulls the trigger, and boom. The bullet blows to the other end, towards their face.

Too bad luck wasn't completely on your side for long.

You screeched as you walked past an alley, your hair being grabbed and pulled by a large man. "Think you can get away from me, bitch?" A gruff voice spat.

Tears pricked the corners of your eyes, grasping as your scalp that's burning your skull. You heard the glint of a knife as the sharpness poked at your side.

"Please, please, no, please," you whispered, begging for your life to be spared.

"You better pray for a miracle, cunt," the man said, jabbing the knife into your side, then throwing you against the wall, leaving you to bleed out.

Your vision blurred and came to the conclusion that you were going to die.

That is... if some random stranger found you and decided to bring you back to what you found out to be "Titans Tower." Learning his name to be Richard 'Dick' Grayson understood you had no one to take care of you and that you were the one who caused that explosion. He also found your little gun, and the great detective saw how it's been rearranged.

When you woke up, you were in an unfamiliar area. You were bandaged up well, but you were still scared. You hissed, trying to sit up. At the same, Dick walks into the room, a trya with soup, a glass of water and a small tablet next to the glass all prepared.

Dick smiled, introducing himself and apologising for bringing you unconscious. He offered you a shelter, but also wanted to know more about you. How you ended up in the situation, who was after you, and how you managed to rearrange the gun.

He then took you under your wing, giving you your own room and even your own materials to create more weapons for yourself. These ranged from melee weapons, explosives, and hand to hand combat weapons.

Dick tried to train you in physical combat, but you admitted that no matter how hard you tried, your fighting skills won't really improve. So you offered to just create new defence weapons for the team and operate missions from the tower as the team went out.

A couple of months later, you met Jason Todd. You'd be lying if you said he wasn't attractive, and his flirtatious attitude didn't help with your attraction towards him.

You also admired how skilled he was in fighting. Fighting a person while blindfolded? Fighting two people while they're all blindfolded? You wished to be just like him. But you were too shy to talk to him.

Jason speaks before thinking, and you were scared that he'd make fun of you for being part of the Titans without knowing basic combat and stealth skills. So you avoided him as much as you could.

But your guard was down as you had your headphones on, sitting on the couch in the lobby, sketching out a design for new throwing blades that could inject a liquid into the body to knock someone out for around half an hour.

"Why do I never see you around?" A curious voice chimes. One of your headphones laid off your ear, so you flinched when you heard someone begind you.

"Uhm, I.. I don't know what you're talking about," you quietly say, not sure how to confidently talk to the attractive boy.

"You're never out on missions or in the training room. Why are you here?" He says, arms leaning on the back of the couch, face dangerously close to yours

You shrugged. "I kind of make the weapons, I guess. I got those Rs of yours to send a shock wave of electricity," you replied, trying to identify yourself.

Jason tilts his head. "So, how come I never see you around training or missions? With weapons like them, I assume you would be useful out there."

You shake your head. "Fighting isn't really my forte. And my aim is never accurate," you explain, bracing yourself for the taunts.

"Huh. Want me to teach ya?" He offers.

Your head shoots towards him. "Uhm. Thanks, but Dick already tried training me. Trust me, I'd just be wasting your time and be a pain in your ass," you say, fidgeting with the pencil in your hand, kooking away from him.

"Nah, you trust me. I can teach you way better than Dickwad can. And if you still think fighting just isn't a thing for you, we can stop."

You stare up at him for a few moments before sighing and agreeing.

Surprisingly, Jason was able to teach you the basics, but that was as far as you could learn. Nonetheless, you were grateful that Jason taught you something that you could learn. You couldn't thank him enough. In return, you designed weaponry specifically suited for his fighting style.

From then on, you and Jason developed a beautiful friendship. Unfortunately, your crush on him only grew more.

But you and Jason were always there for each other. You never ran out of stories and fun talks to chat about. And eventually, little by little, the two of you opened up about your not so different pasts.

So when Jason stormed into his room after coming back from the mission while making absolutely no contact with you, it got you worried.

"Jeez, what happened?" You say as you walk to where the other members stood.

"Jason being Jason as always," Rachel mumbles.

"Uhh, Jason was just being eager. He's been trying to solve this case for weeks," Gar tries to reason out.

"If that little shit just stuck to the plan, his case would've been solved," Hank raises his voice as Dawn tries to calm him down.

"Just be patient with him. He didn't mean it," you try to calm everyone down.

"We can't be patient with him if he himself can't be patient," Donna calls out from the fridge, grabbing a drink.

"Listen, he's been through enough already, cut him some slack," you begin to get pissed off.

"If you're referring to when he got kidnapped, that was his fault too," Rachel says, sitting down on the couch.

"You know what wasn't his fault? Drawing crosses on your mirror, Rach. And that made all of you blame him for the other shit planted in your rooms. Do you know how much that shit hurt him? And none of you didn't even apologise! So, sorry, on behalf of him, that he wanted to show he was still strong enough even after he was kidnapped and dropped from a skyscraper. But have a little decency and time to understand why he acts the way he does," you ranted, not letting anyone reply as you stormed away.

During your times spent with Jason, you didn't miss his ADHD meds lying around, and eventually, he opened up to you about his therapy talks with Leslie, and you're glad it's somewhat helping. You just wushed you would be as much helo to him.

You knocked lightly on the door. "Jay?" You called out to him. You sighed when you were met with no response. You know he didn't tell you to come in, hut you were so worried for your best friend, so you entered his room.

His rock vinyl was spinning, and you took the pin off, making the loud mhsic stop abruptly.

Staring out the window, Jason turns to you, glaring at you.

"C'mon, it's just me, Jay. You can talk to me," you say.

Jason scoffs. "Yeah, sure. Then you'd think of me like the others do," he says, his gaze returnint out the window.

"And how do they think of you, Jason?"

He shrugs. "Like a fucking loser," he croaks.

"That's because you are a loser," you deadpan. Jason's brows furrow in confusion as he looks at you once more. He honestly thought you'd start to go on a long, petty rant about you thinking otherwise.

You sighed, walking over to him, hding his hands and bring him over to his bed, sitting him down.

"I'm not gonna lie to you, Jay. Your life sucks and I don't know if it's going to get better. There's a chance that it's not. You are a loser. You're spontaneous, make dumb decisions that don't always go well. But, you know? It's not entirely your fault. Your childhood sucks, your current family sucks and most of your teammates sucks. And you're just doing your best. You may be a loser, but guess what? I am, too. I can't fight, I can make weapons, but my aim is shit. My dad died, and my drug addict mom left me. I'm always alone i the tower because everyone else is out doing cool, superhero shit. I understand your pain, Jason. That's why we tell each other the shit we've been through. Because that load might be too heavy for only ourselves to carry. But I'm sure as hell it would be light as a feather if we carry both of our problems together," you choose your words carefully, your hands remaining on his, your thumb stroking his scarred skin.

Slowly, you move your hands, shifting them to link your pinky with his while he remains silent. "Jason, I promise you. I'm always going to be here to listen. I'm always going to be here for you. To help you in any way I possibly can."

Jason doesn't verbally reply. What he does, though, is nod and lean his head against your shoulder, tightening his grip around your hands.

[mrsshabana]

honestly i need a story time about the cult? also the link to that podcast, im intrigued now lol

𝐌𝐲 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐭

Ok children gather around. It's story time 🤓

Note: Now I won't provide a link because I talk about a lot of personal stuff including my name and location, and I don't want so many people having access to that. But I don't mind telling my story here.

Content warning: Mentions of religious trauma and eating disorders

Ok, so let me set the scene. I was 18 and moved out of my parents' house. I lived in a ghetto apartment near my university where I was studying art.

Now when I moved out my parents stopped talking to me. So I really felt alone, I had no family, no friends, and I was in a new place so I was very desperate to have a connection with someone. So really I was the perfect victim for a cult because I was vulnerable.

One day I was walking out of the mathematics building when a student stopped me and asked me if I would like to read the bible with her. She was a Korean international student and she was really nice so I was like sure why not. Now at this point, I wasn't super religious but I did consider myself a Christian. But I never knew the bible very well and my family was the kind of family that only went to church on easter and Christmas.

So anyway, I read the bible with her and she explained it to me. The way she explained the passage was insinuating that there was a female version of god. That was something I had never heard of before but it was interesting to me so I decided to come with her to her bible study.

Long story short it ended up being this organization called "The World Mission Society Church of God." I went to their church and spent hours with them every Wednesday and Saturday because they made me feel accepted. They welcomed me and became like my family which I didn't have at the time.

Something I really loved about them was that their church was so diverse. There were so many different kinds of people there, I really felt welcome. Because growing up churches seemed so segregated. I'm biracial, my mom is white and my dad is black so growing up we either went to the white church or the black church. And at both I felt like people would stare at me and my family and that I wasn't welcome there.

So it felt really nice to have such a diverse church where I felt truly welcomed. Anyway, I ended up making a lot of friends there and I stayed with them for about 6 months. Then I figured out they were actually a cult. It's a long story but I won't go into it because this isn't even the main part yet.

After leaving the World Mission Society I felt really lonely again because I lost the only friends and sense of belonging I had. But I had to just keep going.

Maybe about 3 months later this random Korean guy approached me on campus and he asked me if I'd like to participate in a survey thing about the bible. I was skeptical at first because my previous church had told me that every Korean person was a part of their church. (Which obviously is NOT true). But my mind was thinking, "Oh no, what if they are trying to get back to me."

But I decided that it's not right to assume that this man is a part of that cult just because he's Korean. So I agreed to participate in this survey and I gave him my phone number.

Basically, a professor was writing a book where she'd answer people's most common questions about the bible. And she was surveying students to collect questions for the book. It sounded pretty cool to me so I was very interested.

I met up with the professor at a Starbucks on campus and I answered her questions about things I've always wondered about the bible. We'll call this lady Anya.

During our meeting, I expressed to Anya how I felt discarded by god because of my previous cult experience. I felt like I wasn't worthy of his love and I was very ashamed of what I did. Because we would literally pray to a human man who claimed to be god. After leaving I knew that wasn't true, and I figured god no longer loved me for what I did.

Anya was so encouraging and kind. She told me that is it 100% untrue, and that god does love me. That he put me through that experience for a reason and it only made me stronger.

Then she offered to do some bible study lessons with me so I could learn things the right way and start to feel a little bit better about my situation. And of course, I agreed. I was desperate to redeem myself and make friends again.

So I started going to this bible study once a week. Which turned to twice a week. Which turned into me going to some woman's house to have lessons. We'll call this woman Cara.

Cara was from Korea and so was her husband, they were extremely nice and welcomed me into their home. They would feed me ramen and cool snacks, and I honestly felt like a part of their family. There were lots of people in this bible study too and I made a ton of friends.

So fast forward, I had been studying the bible with them for about a year now. And nothing crazy, I was learning about the parables of the bible and the meanings of all those things in the bible that make no sense. It was very informative and interesting but nothing outlandish.

They sit us down for this big "reveal" about who the 2nd coming of Jesus is. Now they hyped it up so much and they told us that we can't judge this person no matter what. This whole time I thought it was going to be someone crazy like Kanye West or something. But no, it was an old Korean man.

He seemed unassuming enough? I had never heard of him so I didn't know why they made such a big deal out of it.

Now at this point, you are probably thinking, "Why the hell would you fall for this again?" Listen, trust me I was frustrated with myself when I left but you have to understand these people love-bombed me when I had no one. They became my family when I had none. They lied to me for an entire year so I'd trust them and get close to them before they revealed who they really were.

And they were a church called Shincheonji.

And I had no problem accepting this because these people had been my family and my best friends for an entire year. They'd feed me, watch movies with me, do anything to help me out. So I trusted them wholeheartedly. But really I was just being brainwashed.

So after I found out that they were Shincheonji they put me in their group for advanced students. And I'd begin studying multiple times a week at Cara's house and Anya was always there too. I would join the twice-weekly sermons via zoom as well. Where one of the Korean tribe leaders would give a sermon about something. I was in the Mathias tribe by the way, though that doesn't really matter.

I would do so so much with them, we even all went on a road trip to Houston where the other branch was. They even got me a birthday cake and surprised me for my birthday too. It was honestly great, and I loved them a lot.

We were basically encouraged to recruit as many people as we can because if we don't they will go to hell. They put so much pressure on us for this. They'd say things like, "Don't you want to save them?" And I am a very empathetic person so I felt like omg I want to save everyone! But on the other hand, ever since I joined Shincheonji my anxiety and depression went through the roof. The pressure to save the entire world is a lot for a 21-year-old girl. So I never recruited anyone myself because I didn't want them to have to struggle with the same mental health issues I did when I joined.

I also had some physical health issues arise as well. Their teachings would always preach how "The word of god is all the food we need." How spiritual food was more important than physical food. And that really stuck with me, especially when I got food poisoning and I couldn't eat solid food for two weeks. Something about not eating made me feel good. Like I didn't even need food because the word of god was enough, so why not just not eat at all? Not eating felt like the only thing I could control, so I clung to it. And I became anorexic. Being with Shinchenji was the only time I was ever considered underweight.

Anyway, I have so many crazy stories to tell about my time with them but I'll save those for another day.

I had been with them for about two and a half years before I started to question things.

We got a new teacher from Korea to replace Cara because she was going to have a baby. And this new teacher was a lot different and a lot less loving and nurturing than Cara had been.

She had said some things that I didn't agree with, and it started putting some doubt in my mind.

Ok so, on a side note I used to work at the library at my school doing data entry in the basement. And I would listen to podcasts a lot throughout the day as I did my work.

One day I found an interesting podcast about cults, where the host would bring cult victims onto the show and they'd tell their story. Well I was listening to an episode about the Moonies and I thought to myself, "Huh, they sound very similar to Shincheonji in some ways..."

But I knew I could not think such thoughts and that if I did any research then the devil would poison me through the internet. And I needed to strengthen my spirit for even thinking of such a thing.

So I went to reddit, and I found a subreddit called r/Shincheonji. I was like, "Oh yes! Now I can talk to other Shincheonji members and we can strengthen each other's faith!"

But it wasn't a subreddit for believers. It was a subreddit for ex-members and people who were against Shincheonji.

And at this point, I had already seen enough to plant that seed of doubt in me. I read more and more even though Shincheonji warned me I'd be poisoned if I ever researched them. But I couldn't stop myself.

I went through so much inner turmoil, you guys have no idea. My reality was crumbling so hard and I felt like my world was ending. It's hard to explain, but I was so indoctrinated and brainwashed by this point. This really ruined me.

I had to mourn the loss of all of the family and friends I gained these past years. I would cry almost every night because I missed them, and it was so hard to accept that they never truly loved me at all. To be honest, I still think about some of them to this day and I hope they got out and found peace in their lives.

No one in my life had known I was a part of Shincheonji. My closest friends nor my family, who had slowly started talking to me again. But I had to tell someone so I told my childhood best friend, we'll call him Blaine.

I got in a Playstation party with Blaine and I just cried. I cried so so much, and he was so confused. But eventually, I told him everything. And he was really supportive and gave me no judgment at all.

My main issue was, how could I leave? I have quite literally been living a double life this entire time and not having that scared the shit out of me. But Blaine advised me to cut them off completely and just leave without saying anything. Because his concern was that if they got the chance to talk to me, they would most certainly be able to pull me back in. And I know them well enough to know this is true. So that's exactly what I did, I left and went cold turkey. I even went as far as changing my work schedule too.

And here's where things get creepy.

I hadn't spoken to them for about a week now, and I'm at work. I'm working as usual in the basement on the computers and low and behold, three girls walk in. Girls from my cult, girls that I was close to.

Now students aren't allowed to just waltz into this room so they had some big balls to do that. But the weird thing was, I had completely changed my schedule and I was working on a day I normally had off. They should have had no idea I was there.

But here they were, holding a large cup of boba from my favorite place. And in my favorite flavor too, winter milk cap with mango popping bubbles.

They came up to me and said, "Hey girl, we noticed you haven't been coming to worship lately. Is everything alright?"

I said, "Oh uh yeah everything's fine! I've just been super busy with work and a ton of projects for class..."

"Ok, well we got this for you," they handed me the boba, "We were hoping to talk to you. We can wait for you outside and talk to you when you get off."

I started panicking so I said, "My mom is actually picking me up as soon as I get off so I won't be able to, I'm sorry! Maybe another time though, I'll text you."

They were convinced by my response so they left. And boy did I RUN so fucking fast after I got off work. I even called Blaine so he could talk to me in case they came after me, but luckily they didn't and I got home ok.

He started yelling at me for drinking the boba saying, "YOU IDIOT! THEY PROBABLY POISONED IT!"

But hey, free boba is free boba.

Anyway, after that event I knew I had to text that girl and tell her I was deciding to leave Shinchenji because I didn't want them to show up at my job again or follow me around.

So I texted her, trying to be as nice as possible and explain to her that I just couldn't do it anymore. I told her how this affected my mental health and my physical health. How I developed an eating disorder from being in Shincheonji too.

Her response was really rude and condescending. She said my mental health issues and my eating disorder were my fault and the work of satan trying to blame them. She told me that once I leave I can never be accepted into heaven, that I'm damning myself to hell as well as all of my family members. I'll be honest, she made me feel incredibly guilty and selfish for leaving. Their teachings were still ingrained in me. But I knew that I could never return after everything, so I blocked her and never spoke to her again.

Oh yeah and that book the professor was writing in the beginning, that wasn't real and she wasn't a professor. It was just a ruse to lure students in.

I will admit I could never get their teachings out of my head. And to this day, even though I know they were wrong, a part of me believes I am going to hell for what I did and all of my family will suffer because of me. So now I can't even look at a bible, and I no longer consider myself religious.

And after this experience, I reached out to that cult podcast that helped me realize I was also in a cult, and I got an episode of my own where I got to tell my story.

So yeah haha that's my story!

Today only my close friends know, and I never told my parents. They still have no idea and honestly, I don't know if I will ever tell them.

I'm still really plagued by a lot of things they did, and my worldview has never been the same. My life has never been the same. But I've been cult free for about 2 years now so I'm just taking it one day at a time.

I'm sorry this was so long. But if you read the whole thing I want to say thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for reading my story. And if you are a college student, please be careful because cults like this are rampant on college campuses, especially in the U.S.

After leaving the cult, I needed something to obsess over, something to make me feel normal. And that was Gyutaro! And I gotta say, obsessing over him is much healthier than obsessing over the teachings of a cult.

Anyway, I want you all to know that this blog has been an escape for me and helped me to feel normal again after this experience. And I don't need a cult to make me feel loved anymore. Because I have all of you :)

[jerzwriter]

Kaycee reflects on how life turned out exactly as she imagined it and how it didn't when she and Ethan dropped their daughter off at college for the first time. When they leave, they know their journey will lead them back to Boston, but will it lead them home?

Book: Open Heart Pairing: Ethan x Kaycee (Past) Rating: Teen Words: 3,800 (sorry!) Summary: Please see above. A/N: This really took on a life of its own! @tessa-liam asked for two prompts from this list, and I merged it in with an anonymous ask from the same list. The three prompts are highlighted below, and they made for an angsty story! I hope you enjoy it!

This is not part of my HC - but a one-off, one-shot.

Participating in @julychallenge Pink: Love, Black: Loss.

Kaycee raised a cup of hot chocolate to her lips and smiled. It didn’t matter that she was now in her forties; she’d always prefer its silky, sweet taste more than coffee, and she didn’t care who knew it.

Sitting in the passenger seat of Ethan's parked car, she closed her eyes to listen to the sound of a gentle breeze rustling through the leaves outside; the moment felt almost perfect. It was exactly the day she had envisioned when she imagined dropping Emma off for her first semester of college. But as quickly as the thought entered her mind, she heard Ethan’s voice and was reminded – it wasn’t exactly as she had planned.

She stepped out of the car as they walked down a tree-lined path toward the car, Ethan’s arm wrapped protectively around their daughter’s shoulder.

“Now remember, you do not go out alone at night, no matter what. Wait for your roommate, another friend, or call campus security.”

"Yes, Dad," Emma said rolling her eyes. "You seem to forget I grew up in Boston – I have street smarts, Dad.”

The young woman looked to her mother, desperate for a save, and Kaycee reached out to embrace Emma one last time.

“Ethan, I don’t want to leave her either, but it’s getting dark, and it’s a long ride back to Boston.”

Ethan smiled tenderly as he stared at his “little girl.”

“It’s funny. I always imagined it would be me dragging you away, not the other way around.”

“Well,” Kaycee smiled curtly, “life has a way of surprising us.”

It had already been three years. Three years since their assets were divided, custody was determined, and with the scribbling of two signatures on a lifeless document, a marriage of almost twenty years came to an end. They’d come a long way since that painful day. Being in each other’s presence no longer elicited queasiness. The sight of each other didn't lead to dampened eyes or a feeling of guilt that consumed them. Still, it wasn’t easy. But today, they did what they always did best – they showed up for their daughter.

It was a two-hour drive from Boston to Hanover, New Hampshire. Ethan had hoped she’d pick his alma mater, Brown, where she’d only be 52 minutes away. But Kaycee reminded him that Emma’s top pick was originally UCLA. All things considered, Dartmouth wasn’t that far. But when Emma asked if they could all drive her to campus together, that two-hour journey suddenly felt much longer.

They were all surprised at how pleasant the ride up had been. Emma was a ball of nervous energy and chattering non-stop. The joy of heading off to college was mixed with the fear of being away from both her parents for the first time was familiar to her parents, and they both offered reassurance. They marveled over how it felt like it wasn’t so long ago that they were off to college – beginning their adult lives – at the starting line of all their dreams. They hoped Emma would realize as many of hers as they had, but they hoped other dreams would have happier endings than theirs.  

“...and I’m thinking I might double major,” she said without taking a breath. “Because Poli Sci is what I want to do... that’s my passion... but if I want to get into a top-tier law school, I think double majoring in English would be beneficial.”

“Sweetheart,” Kaycee smiled from the backseat. “Why don’t you get through your first semester? Then you can make that call.”

Ethan shook his head with a gentle chuckle. “Can someone tell me how a child with two parents who are renowned in the medical field is hell-bent on becoming a lawyer?”

“Dad,” Emma exasperated. “You always told me to pursue whatever I wanted to...”

“And I meant it,” he interrupted. “But you have to admit, this was unexpected.”

They arrived on campus and unpacked Ethan’s Porche Cayenne – the SUV Kaycee insisted was his mid-life crisis, even though he had already passed that point when he bought it. They could have left as soon as all the boxes were in the dorm room, but they refused to leave until her new bedspread was in place, the matching curtains hung, and little fairy lights twinkled around the perimeter of the room.

With no excuses to stay left, Kaycee turned to her daughter, her voice cracking with emotion. “Well, I guess this is it.”

“Mom!” Emma scolded. “We said no crying.”

“I know. But my baby’s all grown up. I’m entitled to a tear or two.”

The mother and daughter were wrapped in a hug when Ethan returned to the room holding a cardboard tray with two cups of coffee and one hot chocolate – he was elated that his daughter had his refined tastes in hot beverages.

“What did I miss here?” He asked.

“Mom’s starting to get weepy,” Emma smirked.

Kaycee wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. “Just finishing our goodbyes,” she said. “I’ll go to the car to give you two some privacy.”

“You don’t have to leave...” Ethan started, but when he realized his ex-wife was about to burst into the tears she had promised Emma she’d hold back, he understood. “Fine,” he said, handing her his keys. “Why don't you wait in the car?”

Kaycee adjusted the passenger seat, admiring the soft leather. Ethan had always preferred to drive, and she’d spent a good portion of her life sitting beside him, but it was the first time she sat in this car, purchased right after their divorce. Remembering a life now lost was already difficult, but her mind rushed to places she had no desire to go.

Ethan had never been forthcoming about his relationships since their split. Of course, she had heard the rumors... some said he was dating the new Director of Nursing, others swore he and Harper had rekindled their old flame. But she never asked Ethan about them; it wasn’t her place. Their conversations revolved around Emma, and that’s how she kept it. Still, as she sat in a seat she once coveted, she couldn’t help but wonder if others now filled that space.

The sound of the driver’s door opening quickly ushered her back to reality, and she was grateful she could blame her tear-filled eyes on Emma.

Ethan turned to her with a tender smile that Kaycee hadn’t seen in some time. “She’s going to be OK," he reassured.

“Oh, I have no doubt about that,” she replied, dabbing her eyes. “It’s me that I’m worried about.”

Ethan had to chuckle. “I know that feeling quite well.”

An awkward silence fell between them. At another time, they would have hugged and offered each other assurances. He would have told her their new chapter was beginning, too. They could focus on the dreams they had planned together, but now, he just fumbled to find a classical music playlist as he started the drive.

“Thank you for agreeing to drive up together,” he finally spoke.

“Of course. Emma wanted both of us here. I’d never deny her that.”

“No, but if I’m being honest, I half expected you to tell me you were taking a Greyhound on the return trip home.”

A slow smile spread on her lips, and she confessed. “I did price them.”

“I bet you did,” he laughed.

The conversation turned to the other comfortable topic between them: Medicine. He lauded her recent article in the New England Journal of Medicine, and he told her when he planned to retire. Kaycee reminded him that Emma embracing law wasn’t too odd; after all, it had been her second career choice, too. He quickly reminded her that he remembered. He remembered more than she knew.

They drove for about an hour when a pinging sound began getting louder and louder. Kaycee tried not to chuckle when the expensive car came to a halt, knowing her trusty old Toyota would have never stranded them like this. Ethan looked under the hood, then returned to the car with a sigh.

“Tripple A will be here shortly,” he informed. “There’s a Porche dealer a few miles away, but of course, they’re closed until the morning.”

“Of course,” she half grinned.

Ethan turned to her with a smirk, and she couldn’t decide if it was one of annoyance or amusement, so she decided to believe it was a little of both.

“Are you enjoying this?” He said sarcastically.

“I always told you that simple was better when it came to cars. There’s no need for the expensive bells and whistles.”

“Yeah,” He chuckled sadly. “You told me a lot of things.”

“I’d tell you what Greyhound could get us back to Boston, but the last one left forty minutes ago... “

“Yep! I think we’re stranded here for the night, too. Not just my car.”

When the Tripple A driver arrived, Ethan and Kaycee hopped into the cab of his tow truck.

“There is a hotel nearby,” the man said. “I’m happy to bring you there. But there might not be any vacancy. A lot of local colleges are welcoming students this weekend, and a lot of parents who aren’t letting go stay nearby.”

“Yeah,” Kaycee barked out a laugh. “We’re familiar with that!"

“Oh, I see,” the man grinned. “You’re those parents. Well, as someone who has been through this, I can tell you it gets easier. Just think of it as the start of your second honeymoon.”

“Oh, no, we’re not...” Kaycee started but decided to skip it as they pulled up to a Comfort Inn. “You know, never mind.”

“This is the only place around here,” the driver informed. “If you can get a ride, there are more places about twenty miles down the road.”

Ethan looked at his watch. “The vacancy light is on, and it’s been a long day. This will do just fine.”

Kaycee ran to the restroom in the lobby while Ethan went to the front desk to secure rooms. When she stepped back out, she saw him grimace.

“Before I tell the desk clerk yes, are you sure you don't want to get an Uber to another hotel?”

Kaycee scrunched her nose. “An Uber in these parts? At this time of night? Unlikely. What’s the matter,” she chuckled. “Did you check the reviews and find out it’s not a five-star rating?”

“No, wiseass,” he smiled, enjoying the banter that used to be part of his daily life. “The problem is, they only have one room left.”

“Oh,” Kaycee said with a fallen face.  

“Exactly.”

“Well,” she laughed nervously. “We’ve round ourselves in this position before, haven’t we?”

Both their minds drifted to the conference in Miami during Kaycee’s intern year.

“Yes,” Ethan replied. “But that was a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.”

“Ethan,” Kaycee shrugged. “We’ve been in each other’s lives for decades. We have a child together. We can share a room for one night unless...”

Unless there is someone in your life who would prefer you didn’t, she thought as Ethan asked her to continue.

“Uhm, never mind. We’ll be fine for one night.”

The walk to their room was peppered with small talk in an attempt to break the tension. But they were both so tired that they really didn’t care. They’d fall asleep, wake up, and find a way home. Everything would be back to normal. That's what they thought until Ethan opened the door.

“There’s only one bed?” Kaycee gasped.

“The front desk said there were two queen-sized beds!” Ethan insisted.

“Well, by my calculations, there is only ONE.”

“Obviously, they were wrong.”

“Noooo!” Kaycee mocked to Ethan’s chagrin. He looked around the tiny room; the only other furniture was an uncomfortable looking chair and desk.

“I’ll sleep in the chair,” he declared.  

“Don’t be ridiculous!” Kaycee insisted. “Ethan, it’s not like we haven’t slept in the same bed before.”

“Yeah... that was the norm for us... until that... changed.”

They exchanged an uneasy look, and both understood the best thing to do was go to sleep quickly. After kicking off their shoes, they both lay perched on the edge of the mattress, facing away from the other. Though they weren’t touching each other at all, their presence was obvious, and as exhausted as they were, suddenly, neither could sleep.

“Kaycee, are you still awake?” Ethan whispered.

“Yes.”

“How is our little girl already in college?”

“I don’t know,” she said sadly. “The years just flew by. And it’s odd because some of those days and weeks felt like an eternity, but I turned around twice...” she audibly gulped. “... and they were gone.”

The room went silent; all Kaycee could hear was her ex-husband's breathing. “So many precious days,” he lamented. “I know I haven’t thanked you enough."

“Me?” a startled Kaycee replied.

“You’re the only one here,” he chuckled. "Emma is a remarkable young woman, and I’m not just saying that because she’s my daughter."

“I know she is,” Kaycee laughed, rolling on her side to face Ethan, who had already turned her way.

“Well, that’s in large part because of you, and I should thank you more often.”

“You’re just as responsible,” Kaycee insisted. “You’re an amazing father, Ethan. You always were.”

He fell silent, hoping the darkness of the room would prevent Kaycee from seeing the emotion in his eyes, though there was no way to conceal it in his voice. If I had been an amazing father, I wouldn’t have let our family end. If I had been an amazing father, I would have fought harder for us to work, he thought, but all that came out was a broken.

“Thank you. You know, when you walked into Edenbrook all those years ago, I had no idea how much my life was about to change,” he smiled as Kaycee shifted uncomfortably.

“Ethan... it’s probably best if we don’t talk about this. I think we should just....”

With that, the lights flicked on, and Ethan was sitting upright.

“Why not?” he asked. “Not making time to talk is where everything started to go wrong for us.”

“It was,” she concurred. “But the time to fix that passed a long time ago. The ink on our divorce papers is long dry, Ethan. This isn't how it works.”  

“It can work anyway we want it to,” he countered. “Kaycee, we may not be together anymore, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be a part of each other’s lives.”

“We’ll always be a part of each other’s lives. We have Emma.”

“I don’t mean because of Emma. I want you to be a part of my life because, with the exception of our daughter, you've been the single most important person in my life. For the past three years, I’ve felt like a stranger in my own soul without you. I miss hearing your voice. I miss your laugh. When I have exciting news, you're the only one I want to tell it to. I want you to be more than the person I arrange drop-offs with, and now that Emma is grown, we won’t even have that.”

“Are you telling me you want to be friends? She asked.

No. I don’t want to be friends. I want us to be so much more, and I wish I had the nerve to say it.

“Ethan,” she repeated after an extended silence. She saw the tears glistening in his eyes as he reached over and pushed a strand of hair away from her face.

“Friends.... or something,” he choked.

Kaycee’s head fell into her hands, partly because she was tired, partly because she was trying not to cry.  

“Ethan, where did it all go wrong?”

Their minds drifted back in time to the days of trying to manage two busy careers with the needs of their child, long days filled with demands, exhaustion, and the feeling that they could never get it right. Sometimes, they fought; sometimes, they held it all in. Sometimes they turned the guilt inward... they weren’t good enough, they were failing, they should be better at this... and sometimes, they projected it onto the other... "You never...", "You used to...", "I can't believe you..." In time, they learned being alone isn't the worst feeling in the world, being in a relationship, but feeling alone was, and when the loneliness became too much to bear, they decided it should end.

“Why did we let it go?" Kaycee sniffled. “There was no affair, no hatred, even our fights weren’t all that bad. Our marriage was like a boat, just drifting away as we watched, and neither of us thought enough to help it change its course.”

“We were focused on work,” Ethan sighed with regret. “Focused on Emma. Then we had elderly parents to care for... it took so much of our time that in the end, we forgot to focus on each other.”

“But we knew what we had was special. Why the hell didn’t we fight for it!”

“You wanted to,” Ethan whispered. “You wanted to. I... I blame myself.”

“Ethan, you weren’t the only one responsible for our marriage ending.”

“I’m the one who stormed out of counseling, telling the counselor that it was absolutely useless. I’m the one who began to withdraw. You begged me to try.”

Feelings they believed to be long buried began to rise to the surface again, and the pain was as raw as it had ever been.

“You withdrew... but I never asked you why you did. I let my imagination get the better of me and...”

“And?”

“Did you stop loving me?” She asked, tears now streaming down her cheeks.

“No!” Ethan gasped. “Oh, God no, I never once stopped loving you.”

“I allowed myself to believe that you did,” she said, wiping her nose with her sleeve. “I felt like an obligation... like if we didn't have a piece of paper decreeing that we had to be together, you'd be long gone. And I swore I’d never be in a marriage like that.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that?”

“I thought I did,” Kaycee replied. “Maybe not with words, but with actions. I tried to give signs, but..."

“Kaycee, I never learned to read  your mind.”

“I know that... and that’s why I’m as responsible as you for letting our marriage die.”

“I wish I would have fought harder,” Ethan wept as Kaycee’s floodgates opened.

“Me too,” she shuddered. “Me too.”

Ethan instinctively reached for her hand, surprised when Kaycee fell into his arms. His arms encircled her and held her close. Both were overwhelmed by the warmth and familiarity, a feeling of comfort from a time long gone when they were each other’s port in a storm. When they were each other's home.

“I’m sorry,” Ethan cried. “I’m sorry I let it end.”

“I’m sorry, too,” Kaycee cried into his shirt. Ethan went to pull away, but she refused to let him go.

“Please... can you hold me just a little longer?"

“Of course,” he whispered, resting his head on hers as she nuzzled into his shoulder.

Comforted by his touch, Kaycee fell into a deep sleep and slept better than she had in a long time. But Ethan found no such relief; he remained awake all night, never letting her out of his arms until he got up in the early morning hours.

The sun was shining through the window, and Ethan was seated at the desk with an abysmal cup of coffee in hand when Kaycee woke up with a startle.

“Hey, are you OK?” he asked, as she groggily nodded. He moved to the edge of the bed and sat beside her. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing... you’re here,” she replied.

“Did you forget? The car broke down, we had to stay here, there was only one room...”

“No... no,” Kaycee stopped him. “I remember all that. I just had a bad dream. I dreamt that you left me during the night, and I woke up alone.”

“Well, you made sure I couldn’t do that, even if I had wanted to,” he smiled. “You basically slept on top of me all night.”

“I did!”

“You did," he smiled. "Did you at least sleep well?"

“Like a baby – and you?”

“I slept OK,” he fibbed, pointing to the paper cup on the desk. “That cup of swill parading as coffee should help wake me up a little more.”

“Yeah,” she laughed. “I think I’ll make myself a cup, too. If you have to suffer through it, I should, too.”

She flung her legs over the side of the bed, but Ethan grabbed her hand and pulled her back to the mattress.

“Kaycee, I have to tell you something before I lose my nerve.”

A line formed between her brows. “What... what is it?”

“I need to tell you what I should have said three years ago. That I’m sorry. I took us for granted and allowed life to come between us, which was so foolish because you... you were my life. I've felt like a stranger wandering in a strange land where he no longer belongs for the past three years. See, I love you, Kaycee. I never stopped, and the biggest regret of my life is that I let you go. So, I know the answer is probably no, maybe you'll think I’m crazy, and I could be... but is there a chance... any possibility that you and I could try again. If we can, I promise, I'll get it right this time."

He sat in nervous anticipation in every silent moment that followed. Kaycee’s eyes were wide, and her lip trembled, but he wasn’t sure why. It was taking too long. It was taking too long, and he braced himself for rejection... the rejection he now realized that he had feared so desperately that he found it easier to let her go. But it only took a moment for all that to change.

Kaycee threw her arms around his neck, holding him tight as she peppered him with kisses and pushed him back on the bed. Her lips found his, and they came together; their hearts raced as it deepened, their hands caressing the curves they still knew by heart. At long last, they were home.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he smiled breathlessly.

 “What gave it away?” she giggled, kissing him again. “But we have to take it slow. You’re the love of my life, and I want this to work more than anything, but we have to think of Emma. The divorce was hard on her, and we can’t let her know about this until we’re sure... 100% sure... that we’re forever.”

“I agree,” he smiled, his hands running through her hair. “You take all the time you need, but I know... if you’ll have me... this is forever. I don’t want to know a day without you again.”

“Can I have a week or two?" she grinned.

“As long as I can see you during every one of those days.”

After another lengthy kiss, Ethan reached for the hotel phone.

“What are you doing?” Kaycee asked.

“Calling the front desk.”

“Why?”

“Because check out is in a half hour, and we’re going to need this room longer.”

"Are we," she grinned. "I'm not on the schedule tomorrow; what about you?"

“Me?" Ethan beamed. "I’ll be calling out.”

"Good," Kaycee smiled, "Because we're going to need this room for another night."

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