#I did know the door was unlocked

[gay-cripply-scientist]

The bestie is getting tired of me trying to shove myself in their letterbox

[inkskinned]

crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.

i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.

in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.

i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.

i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.

plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.

the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.

we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.

i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.

a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.

today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.

loved beyond thinking.

[pestopastaenjoyer]

does anyone else ever think abt this like all the time obsessively. or

[kirkwallguy]

Was going to rb and say this in the tags but i beefed with op one time so i don't want to. anyway i was SEARCHING for this dialogue when i played the quest other day because i had no idea about the burning down the alienage thing until i saw it on here despite exhausting all the dialogue in my first playthrough. i'm pretty sure the actual word used doesn't say burning at all and a minor npc mentions celene destroyed the alienage if you go through her entire dialogue tree. wicked eyes and wicked hearts is sooooo bad at conveying information since it's easily missable, you have to re-enter the ballroom and go out onto a balcony you've already seen to be empty to be introduced to briala, otherwise she just bursts in during a fight and you're expected to know who she is. i don't think people aren't paying attention if they struggle to connect all the dots on this quest

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

my dad and i went to the movies last night and on the way out the door, my mum said something like have fun, put the garage door down when you leave please. and we were both like yeah of course no worries.

anyway i drive us to the movies a couple towns over, we watch the movie. it's all great. my dad drives us on the way back. it's a mostly silent drive. we're rounding the corner and our town comes into view. my dad breaks the silence suddenly and goes 'did you put the door down?'

i go 'the door? the- oh shit. no I didn't. did you put the garage door down?'

my dad goes 'no. i didn't either. i forgot immediately.'

i'm like 'i...did too...i was focused on reversing out of the driveway...'

we pull into the driveway a couple minutes later. the garage door is shut. neither of us did that. meaning my mum noticed that neither of us successfully remembered to do it. meaning we are probably both going to get shit. i go 'oh no' while my dad 'there go our heads'

i'm so glad i know WHO I INHERITED MY MEMORY FROM NOW

[b1rd1e]

my car alarm casuallyyyyy going off right behind the apartment building

[hballegro]

watching this episode cause its my city and

whats this? a three stooges reference that goes beyond just the recitation of three names??? Curly's gnck-gnck-gnck?? and the face he makes right after of 'god that was so stupid??

a blessing.

also

[tariah23]

Receptionist work is so aggravating man because it’s either the clients/guest acting a fool or some looney tunes shit is always happening to me on shift… how the hell did the front door to the lobby malfunction on me and lock me inside the buildingsjsjsj

[birb--birb]

Soooo guess who decided to play veilguard "just for a little bit" and now it's 4am

[seokmattchuus]

MY ASIAN MART HAS THE KOREAN DRINK POUCHES YJSNGDKHFNGSTHHRWKYSURQ

[takemebacktowheniwassane]

I was looking for a picture of joe from slih for my discord pfp and holy shit 😰 who let the republicans into broadway. WHO

shit scared me oh my god

[averysmolkirbo]

guess what everyone today is national coming out day and while i have technically already come out as a lesbian i have found a way celebrate this very important day

at 11:30pm but shut up

i am officially coming out as a supporter of bedehop

[rupertholmes]

i think if you grew up in my household you would have put a gun to my mom and dad's heads already

[rosecrawley]

just saw laura daniel at fringe and she came right up to me and the random 30ish y/o gay man next to me and said “do you two know each other” and when we were like “no” she was like “it’s a perfect night to get engaged to a stranger!” and then later on in the show, gave him an empty ring box and when he stared at it and didn’t do anything, her husband put a graphic up on the screen over the image of us that said “TOO SHY!!”

[mieczyhale]

it's just me and my cake vodka & pepsi against the world

[mina-org]

“You don’t know fuck” Simon say pushing the bouquet away and you with it.

“Simon can’t we just try? We’re practically already dating” you say, a little more desperate this time, hanging on every word, hoping they’d turn sweet but they never do.

“Darlin im just here cause ya jump on me when I see ya, dirty slag, what about when im deployed? Ya jump on any fuckin thing” he practically spits out.

Tears sting at your eyes, you thought you were getting somewhere with him but Simon’s affection’s aren’t for you, not to keep, hes made that clear time after time. Yet here you are clutching on to the evening primrose, as he laughs you out the room. Why the fuck would he want flowers? Why would he want you?

You bolt out of his apartment, or his bedroom anyway, disheveled and panties discarded on his bedroom floor as you tug on the locked front door.

Great

You’d have to go back, tears streaming down your face.

God this was a shit show.

“Alright doll?” A gruff voice interrupts your prayers for the ground to swallow you up.

Great now you have an audience of Simon’s roommates, the older guy talking while the other two gawk at you like your some sort of freak show.

“Just leaving.” You choke out, staring at the floor like a child caught and shamed for bed wetting. His eyes are heavy as they weigh you down before he unlocks the door, muttering out a sorry on Simon’s behalf.

“Don’t cry lass, Simon likes ya, just not used to it.” Johnny says, he’s always been friendly to you, in passing of course, you were in their flat for Simon, and Simon only and it wasn’t your conversational skills. Johnny did hope Simon hadn’t fucked it with you, the walls were so fine having you about was like girlfriend asmr and he had cancelled his patreon subscriptions.

You awkwardly shuffle out. Vowing you’d never go back to that flat again or have anything to do with them, blocking Simon and changing gyms, now you’d never have to see him again.

buttttt when Johnny messages to check in on you, you can’t help but respond, the Scotsman didn’t do anything wrong and it was so sweet for to check on you. Maybe it would’ve been different if you knew every text was being planned by the four men, but you’re just too pretty when you cry.

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five- six