#I desperately need this version of Eddie in my life

[maedesculpaeusoubi]

oh to be eddie munson’s fake girlfriend and to end up being his actual girlfriend

Dirty little secret

Summary: Eddie is in desperate need of a fake girlfriend after lying to his band mates about his dream girl.

Warnings: so extremely cheesy, corny, very much classic romcom tropes! Swearing, smut :p not exactly proofread!!

Wc: 11.5k

Y/n walks home, soft rain pattering on the concrete, she watches the drops splash on her black boots. After a long shift at the hideout all she wants to do is get back home to her cozy apartment where she can wash the liquor scent off of her and become useless on her couch.

“Hey, you!” She adjusts her tiny headphones, turning up the volume on her Walkman to drown out any noise around her. “Hey!” She walks a little faster when she spots a van out of her peripheral vision. The van drives slowly, matching her speed. “Hey!” She finally pulls one headphone away from her ear, turning to look at the man.

“What?!” His eyes widen for a second before they return back to normal. “You work at the bar right? The hideout?” She gives him a skeptical look, either he is a regular or a stalker and she doesn’t have the time for either. “Why should I tell you?!” The wavy haired man softly laughs, his ringed hand tapping on the exterior of the old van. “I see you there all the time.”

“Hm…well maybe you’re thinking of someone else?” Y/n picks back up and continues her walk home, but not before she's stopped again. “I need you to do me a favor!” She slowly turns her head back to him, trying to decide if she should give him the time of day or continue on home. “Before you call me crazy and run away, I’m Eddie, my band plays at the hideout every tuesday- you've worked a couple shifts when we play.”

She huffs, but ultimately decides that he might have something valuable to say. “Yeah, so what?”

“So,” he pulls the key out of his van and steps out, feeling the relief of his jeans clad legs finally being stretched. “Just hear me out before you say anything, okay? Basically I'm like the only single one in my band so I kind of…maybe told them that I have a girlfriend?” Eddie finally ends his spell and waits for Y/n’s response. She tosses her arms out a little, letting her hands slap back on her legs. “Sorry about that. What does this have to do with me?”

Eddie gives her a smile, “And that’s where you come in. You are… close enough to the description of what I gave them. So what do you say? Will you be my fake girlfriend?” She blinks at him, her eyes bugging out in disbelief of what she’s hearing. She scoffs, not being able to form any words. Gulping, she finally musters up a response to this maniac. “Are you serious?! What’s wrong with you? We hardly know each other.” She rubs her forehead, looking back down at the sidewalk.

“Well, yeah. I need this, I’ll pay you back! I’m not sure how, but I promise I’ll make it up to you! And who wouldn’t want to have this.” His hands scan his body, trying to show off what a prize he is. Y/n shakes her head, not that this isn't interesting, and maybe the drama of it all will spice up her ever so boring life of sleeping and working, but she still isn’t sure. “I’ll have to think about it. I’ll call you!”

And with that she makes her way back to her apartment.

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Y/n’s been thinking a lot about that strange encounter with Eddie earlier. He wasn’t a complete stranger, She’s been there a couple times when his band was playing a gig at the hideout but they’ve never had more than a five sentence conversation. She’s gotten into a bad loop of sleeping, working, sleeping, working, she hardly sees friends anymore and she definitely isn’t going out of her way to make any fun just herself, so fake dating really didn’t seem too bad. Maybe this will get her out of the house, and add a little excitement.

She flops open the phone book, finding Eddie’s number and dialing it. She waits for him to pick up, sitting on the counter, picking at her nails. He finally answers and her ear is instantly flooded with the sound of his raspy, sleepy voice. She has to admit, when she heard his tired voice she felt her breath hitch a little.

“What do you want?” He almost growls, his sleepy eyes growing heavier by the second, threatening to close and send him back into a deep sleep. “It’s me, Y/n. I was thinking about our conversation earlier.”

Eddie blinks his eyes back open, “So you call me at one in the morning? Couldn’t this have waited?” Y/n rolls her eyes, but damns herself for continuing to ignore the healthy sleep schedule she so desperately needs. “Well, I was going to agree to it. But maybe it’s just one of those crazy one AM thoughts. Who knows?”

Eddie rubs his hand over his face, rolling his eyes. “Are you doing it or what?” She waits a best before responding, to give herself a second longer to really think it through- but mainly just to leave Eddie waiting. “I’m doing it. But we need to lay down some ground rules. I’ll come over at two tomorrow-“ suddenly she’s interrupted by Eddie’s groggy voice “don’t you mean today?” She shakes her head, rolling her eyes. “I’ll see you at two.”

And just like that, she’s fake dating Eddie Munson.

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Y/n knocks on the door or Eddie’s trailer, patiently waiting to hear him walking towards the door. He flings open the door, standing in a pair of sweatpants with his plaid boxers coming out and a cut off tank top with his lower belly slightly peeking out from his hand resting at the top of the door frame.

“Come on in.” His free hand glides out to show her the way and he lets her step inside before shutting the door behind her. “This is my palace. Take a seat on the couch and I’ll be back with refreshments.” He walks down the hallway and soon joins Y/n on the couch with a cigarette between his lips, offering her one then lighting his own. “No thanks.” She moves the pack away from her and sits her bag in her lap.

“What did you call this meeting for?” He pulls his cigarette away from his lips, letting out the white Smokey air.

“If we are going to fake date we are going to do it my way.” Eddie glances at her without moving his head, then looks right back at the television. “We need to ease into it, not packing on the PDA right off the bat, but also seeming comfortable around each other. And I think it would help if we did some sort of test run, maybe I could properly meet these bandmates of yours before we jump in?”

Eddie ashes his cigarette, “Did you major in fake dating or something?”

“Haha, very funny asshole. Do you want to do this or not? You’re trying to act smug but you’re the one who had to lie to his friends about having a girlfriend.” Eddie lets out a sigh, extending his response by taking a long drag from his cigarette. “You’ll properly meet them on Friday.” She nods, jotting it down on her planner.

“We need to lay some ground rules, obviously don’t try to randomly shove your tongue down my throat. I think since it’ll be the first time I'm meeting them let’s just keep it simple, maybe hand holding, a cheek kiss or two. Nothing crazy.” Eddie laughs, leaning forward and crushing his cigarettes in the glass ashtray already full of white and grey ashes and cigarette butts.

“I’m not going to fuck you infront of them or anything, don’t worry. I understand boundaries.” He gives her a smile, faint dimples carving in his cheeks. He’s lucky he’s got a pretty face or she’d storm out right now.

She gives him a disapproving look before shaking her annoyance off and continuing with the plan. “Hugs, hand holding that’s all fine, cheek kisses or whatever- I guess that’s okay all the time. But an actual kiss or anything like that needs a little warning and easing into.”

“Yeah, all sounds good to me. So I’ll see you Friday?”

“See you Friday.”

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Eddie’s van is pretty cozy. Despite the five curbs he’s run over and the ten stop signs he’s blown through, it’s actually been a nice ride. The diner they were meeting at was about fifteen minutes away and Eddie had called her an hour before telling her he was going to pick her up. His van was warm, surprisingly smelt good (she noticed the cherry scented air freshener he hung up), and was actually pretty clean. He had a few books in the back, a water bottle or two and a few cartons of cigarettes in the door- but it had a homey feel.

“Haha, sorry.” Eddie murmurs, making her sling forward as he breaks hard. Thank god for seatbelts.

He pulls into the diner parking lot, looking around to find a parking spot. The diner is pretty cute from the outside, it has. A blue roof and a bright LED sign, large windows giving you a peek into the busy restaurant.

Eddie jumps out, racing to open the door. “They are already here.” He holds a hand out, helping her out of the van. They walk inside, Eddie leading the way to the table the guys were sitting at. “Hey guys,” Eddie gives a little wave, pulling a seat out for Y/n then plopping himself next to her at the table. The diner was bright, checkered floors with red and white booth seats, neon colors everywhere. “This is Y/n, Y/n these are the guys.”

She smiles, shyly tucking her hair behind her ear. A boy with brown feathery hair sticks his hand out, “Hi gorgeous, I’m Gareth.”

Suddenly Eddie was hyper aware of the fact that his band mates were oogling his (fake) girlfriend. He grabs the underside of her chair and pulls her closer, reaching over Y/n and pushing Gareth’s hand down. “And he has a girlfriend.” Eddie stretches his arm in the top of Y/n’s chair, guarding her from the others.

“Well it’s nice to meet you guys! Eddie has told me so much about you.” She smiles, feeling warm and awkward with all the eyes on her. “Like what?” Another one speaks up, staring at her awkwardly. Eddie leans in her ear “That’s Doug. Ignore him.” Y/n softly laughs, “Tons of good stuff! I’ve seen you guys play a couple of times at the hideout. I work there every other day during the week and all weekend. I’m excited to get to know you all a little better.”

“Well, you’ll have tons of time on the trip! I’m Jeff. We’re all so excited to finally meet you, Eddie has really talked you up. I’m bringing my partner, Gareth and Doug are bringing their girlfriends so you won’t have to deal with us alone!” Y/n gives Jeff a sweet smile before turning her head to Eddie, her face instantly changing. “What the fuck is he talking about!?” She whispers, leaning in to whisper in Eddie’s ear.

“We’ll be right back.” Eddie announces to the group before him and Y/n step aside.

“What trio are they talking about?! You didn’t tell me about a trip!” Eddie rubs his face, “We go on a ‘group bonding’ trip every year. That's why I needed you, I couldn’t not bring a girl when everyone else is bringing their partners.” She groans, suddenly growing the urge to stomp her foot and fold her arms like a child.

“When is it?”

“Next week”

“How long will we be gone?”

“Only a week.”

Y/n huffs, rubbing her forehead then crossing her arms. “I think I can swing it. I never miss a day at work and I’m always on time, and I always pick up extra shifts if they need someone so maybe I can talk them into some sort of paid time off?”

Eddie bites at his fingernails, “so you’re coming?”

“I guess so.” Eddie claps, giving her a smile. “You won’t regret it, sweets!”

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It’s a chilly morning, the ground frosted over, chattering teeth and near frozen eyelashes, but with the body heat of five guys, and two girls, Y/n was more than warm. Usually being up at Seven in the morning on such a cold winter morning would have Y/n seething with regret and frustration for agreeing to such early plans, but this morning was quite different already.

Eddie picks her up last, giving her a little extra time to sleep since she had previously made it very clear that if she doesn’t get a full eight hours of sleep she will not be getting out of bed at all and if she is forced she will “reign terror on all of Hawkins”. He tosses her luggage in the back, the other girlfriends already asleep in the back row, and then lets her hop in the passenger seat as they head up to the cabin they rented for the trip.

The boys are loud, and the music they blast was about to give Y/n a major migraine, but it was oddly enjoyable. They had a nice energy to them, they were all smiles and laughs, the good energy was rubbing off on her.

She was looking forward to this week, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, especially if she got some alone time. She’s always thinking she needs to give herself a break since it’s not stop working for her, and this is the week just for that. She’s overpacked but not in her mind, she’s brought anything and everything she needs to make this week's stay as comfortable as she can and she intends to do that. She hopes the cabin has a nice big bathtub so she can use the fancy bath salts she packed.

Eddie turns the music down a couple notches, “having a good time?” He reaches for her hand, and at first she almost pulls it away but reminds herself that they have to act natural. “Yeah, the music is a little loud though.” He laughs, “they’ll be louder than the music will ever get if I try to turn it down. Good luck.”

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The drive hasn’t been so bad, now that they are an hour into the drive the boys have settled down, the adrenaline and excitement has worn off and now they are a little sleepy. Everyone’s head is either pressed against the window or sagging back onto the headrest of their seats. Y/n huffs, sinking into the passenger seat that is growing evermore uncomfortable by the second. She presses her forehead against the glass of the window, closing her eyes.

Eddie pants her hand and she cracks an eye open. “No you don’t. If I can’t get any sleep you can’t either. You can sleep once we’re at the cabin.” She groans, rubbing her eyes while trying to stretch to the best of her abilities in the limited space. She wracks her brain, trying to recall a time where she agreed to be woken up early, then stay up the whole two hour drive with Eddie while everyone else slept- but she guesses it’s a good thing a girlfriend would do.

“Okay, but�� she yawns. “I don’t know if that will last long.”

Eddie turns the music up a little louder, “we’ll stop to get gas soon. Just hang in there for about five more minutes maybe? There should be something coming up.”

A couple more minutes pass by and before y/n knows it Eddie is pulling up to a gas pump. She swings the door open, jumping out. The relief of stretching her legs is unmatched and she paces a couple times.

Everyone stumbles out of the van, everyone equally as excited to be able to stretch their bodies and get some fresh air that wasn’t contaminated by cigarette smoke or the smell of a bunch of twenty year old boys.

As Eddie shoves the nozzle in and starts pumping gas he wraps his arm around Y/n, pulling her into a little hug. She leans in, resting her head against his chest. His hand reaches up to play with her hair and she pulls away from the hug, letting his arm continue to rest around her shoulder and play in her hair.

It is a little awkward to hang on to each other like that but she’s going to have to get used to it if she’s going to survive the week. She came here to do this favor for Eddie, and as much of an annoying asshole he is, she still plans to follow through with this to the best of her abilities.

“You can head in with them.” Eddie says, nodding over to the group that is heading into the gas station to grab whatever road trip snacks they can find. “It’s fine, It would make more sense to stay with you, right? I don’t really do this whole dating thing.” Eddie nods, “Me either. If I’m honest, I’ve never really had a girlfriend. I wasn’t exactly the most popular in high school.”

“Yeah, I had a few dates but they never went anywhere.”

The gang comes out of the store, white bags filled up with different bags of chips, cookies, and different sodas. Eddie tops off the tank, closing it up and opening Y/n’s door before hopping back in and starting up the van to continue their journey up to the cabin.

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The sudden stop wakes Y/n up, feeling Eddie’s warm hand on her shoulder softly shaking her awake. She rubs her eyes, yawning. “Are we there?” Eddie laughs, “Yeah, we’re here.” She blinks her eyes open. The snow is falling, bundling the dark cabin in a white blanket of snow. It piles up high on the ground and stacks up on the room. “Oh my god, it’s beautiful.” She steps out of the car, pulling zipping her coat up to her chin to hide herself from the bitter cold.

Eddie opens the trunk of the van, pulling out everyone’s luggage. He throws his beat up old duffle bag around his shoulder and then grabs Y/n’s suitcase, lifting it so it doesn’t track snow in. “It’s okay, I’ve got it.” Eddie shakes his head, “I’ve got it, sweets. I’m pretty strong.” He mumbles with a wink, grabbing the key from the mailbox and unlocking the door.

Y/n has to keep her jaw from dropping. The cabin is absolutely beautiful, big and open with warm, dim lighting. There’s a brick fireplace in the living room with a big puffy couch, knit blankets tossed over the back, Sliding glass doors that lead out to a big deck. When you walk in there is a kitchen to your left, a round wooden dining table with glossy cabinets, little green accents all through the kitchen.

Eddie leans forward, “stop gawking and go snatch the best room before anyone else can.” And with that Y/n turns the corner, walking through the hallway and jogging upstairs. All the bedroom doors are open, showing off the perfectly pristine rooms. She peeks through each room until she stumbles upon the biggest one. She opens the door to the bathroom, a nice big bathtub with a standing shower next to it, a big mirror and two sinks.

She would definitely be comfortable here for a week. A big cozy cabin that looks like it’s straight out of a fairytale book, the biggest and nicest room with snow blowing in, she didn’t have anywhere to be or anything to do besides relax. The only downside is that she would have to constantly be putting in a performance when in front of everyone but despite that, it was perfect.

“Well I could get used to this.” She hears Eddie’s deep voice from behind her. Spinning around on her heels, Eddie gives her a quick smile. “Nice huh? And where will you be sleeping? The floor?” Y/n rolls her eyes at him, “No, maybe you should go sleep on the couch downstairs while I take this nice bed.” She pats the king sized bed while Eddie throws their bags on it. “Or maybe there will be a spare room for you?”

It’s Eddie’s turn to roll his eyes. He crosses his arms against his chest, “in all seriousness, let’s just try to make this weekend as easy as possible. And don’t go falling in love with me, sweets.”

She fake gags then opens her suitcase, if she’s going to be staying here for a week she’s going to make it comfortable. She pulls her folded clothes out and shoves them into the dresser, then hangs her sweaters and whatever else she doesn't want getting creased or wrinkled. She takes out all of her toiletries, stashing them in their respective spots in the bathroom.

“I’m going to shower. I want to wash all your cigarette stench off.” Eddie nods, yawning. “Yeah, I’m going to build a fire. The guys are already bitching that they are cold.”

“Okay, I’ll be down soon.” She grabs a change of clothes, something cozy to bundle up in since today they were just getting comfortable in the cabin. “See you later.”

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Eddie sits next to the fireplace, tossing wood into it to start a fire so everyone will get off his ass about how cold they are.

“So how long have you and Y/n been together?” Jen, Gareth’s girlfriend asks. Eddie rubs his forehead, glancing over at the group who is all huddled on the couch. “Um, about six months I guess?” Maybe that’s how long he has been trying to lie about a girlfriend? He knows it’s pathetic, really, but with the way his friends (even his 16 year old friends) were making him feel about being single was too much that he had to make up some fake girlfriend.

“Awe! You guys are so cute together! How did you meet?” Eddie strikes a match then tosses it in to start the fire. Not exactly how he learned in cub scouts but it was good enough. “We met at the hideout. She works there.” He scratches his face, he’s not really in the mood to try to make up anymore details of his and Y/n's fake relationship.

“Were you playing a gig? That’s so cute! Have you said I love you yet?!” Jen is a nice girl, but god does she ask a lot of questions.

Out of the corner of his eye Eddie sees Y/n walk down the hallway and into the living room to join the rest of the group, and fuck is he happy to see her. “There you are. How was your shower?” Y/n takes her place next to Eddie, sitting by the fireplace. “It was good! I feel a lot better now.”

Now that they are here at the cabin with everyone, maybe they have underestimated how difficult this is going to be. Now that this is the first time everyone is properly meeting Y/n and getting to know them as a couple there will probably be endless questions about their relationship, their future plans, etc.

“Good, good. Now you can relax.” He picks at his nails, closing his eyes to relax.

Every year this trip is the highlight of his year. He loves coming up here and staying in for a week, doing absolutely nothing at all but hanging out with the guys. Usually they have some big fun thing planned, skiing, snowboarding, one year they tried to ice skate but that didn’t go very well, but with the stress of Eddie having to find someone to have a fake relationship with- well, they didn’t really get to plan anything big. But that’s okay, these trips are really all about reconnection and spending some quality time together.

“We were just talking about how cute you and Eddie are!” Y/n gives Jen a polite smile. “Oh I’m sure Eddie just loved that, hm?” She pats Eddie’s chest, relaxing back into the pillows Eddie threw down by the fireplace for him to sit. “I was just asking him some questions, is all. You guys met at the hideout? He said that you work there!”

Y/n glances over at Eddie. “Yeah, he was playing a gig when we met. I guess his whole rockstar thing just kind of drew me in. Love at first sight!”

“Oh, so you guys have said I love you!?” Eddie and Y/n make direct eye contact, and thank god Eddie had a little sketch book out or else they both would’ve been in trouble. He quickly scribbles in the corner of the book, his handwriting spikey and in all caps reading “we’ve been together for 6 months” trying to quickly fill her in on a few things they haven’t gone over due to Jen’s questions.

“Yeah, yeah. What about you and Gareth? Enough about us!” Y/n shifts the conversation, not wanting to get caught up in any confusion or lies. “Enough about you?! This is the first time we’ve met Eddie’s girlfriend! To be honest I didn’t know if we were ever going to meet you, he’s hidden you from us for so long I just want to know everything.”

Y/n wanted to kill Eddie for refusing to go over more plans for this fake dating scheme, but she also wanted to thank him for taking a hundred stops on the trip even though she was annoyed. He made her wake up so early just for him to stop every fifteen minutes and make them get to the cabin at sundown. She blames all the peach tea he was guzzling but she’s so thankful for it at this moment.

“It’s getting kind of late. I think I’m going to head to bed. Tomorrow we’ll have all day to get to know each other, right? Eddie has talked about you so much so I can’t wait to get to know you.” She tries to politely excuse her and Eddie off to bed but she gets pulled back down by Jen’s constant questioning. “It’s only nine! How are you already sleepy?” Jen laughs, repositioning herself to get comfortable to stay up a couple more hours.

“She gets car sick. So I think we’re going to get some shut eye.” He stands up, putting his hands on Y/n’s shoulders and giving them a quick rub as she leads the way off to their room.

Once they get in the room Eddie shuts the door. “What the fuck are we going to do about Jen’s constant questioning?!” Y/n scoffs and shakes her head, dressing down the bed for sleep since they don’t have much else to do. “You’re the one who said it was “dramatic and not necessary” to go over the details! Eddie groans, flopping down on the bed. “This is your fault, Eddie! Don’t get grumpy with me.”

“Shit!”

“Shit is right! We will just have to go over whatever details we can think of tonight.” Eddie stands back up, dropping his pants and ripping his shirt off until he’s just in tube socks and boxers. He slides back in bed, taking his time to get comfortable, ignoring the fact that he’s loudly fluffing his pillow and practically jumping on the bed. Y/n huffs, tossing a body pillow in the middle of the bed to separate their sides.

“How are we supposed to know what the fuck else she’s going to ask us?! She might personally quiz us on facts about each other.” Y/n’s throws her hands in the air, “Oh my god, you’re so dramatic. We just go over simple things that a girlfriend and boyfriend should know about each other! Some family stuff, age, name, the obvious!”

“Well I’m pretty sure we’re the same age, and you know my name!” Eddie tosses and turns trying to get in the perfect spot. “Keep your voice down or they are going to think we’re fighting and question us even more.”

“Okay, my name is Eddie, your name is Y/n, we’re both twenty-two-unless you’re hiding something? You’re favorite thing about me is my gorgeous hair and my favorite thing about you is your personality. Is that solved?”

Y/n’s jaw almost drops at how annoying he can be. “I’m going to bed! I guess we’ll just play this all by ear.”

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Three days into the trip and it’s been a breeze. Eddie and Y/n have had a few hiccups, but nothing to throw them off too hard. Jen got the message and stopped her constant questions, which kind of made them feel bad because she didn’t mean any harm, she’s just a curious cat.

After more arguing they finally settled down and stopped being so stubborn and went over a few things. They both got to know the basics, just simple get to know me icebreakers you would tell about yourself on the first date- not that either of them would really know what to say on a first date, but they tried to fill each other in as best as possible without staying up all night to share their whole life story.

“You know, you snore really fucking loud.” Eddie says, walking out of the bathroom with toothpaste still on his chin. Y/n folds up her clothes, shaking her head. “Well you kick, and you groan, and you drool but I haven’t complained about it.” A smile appears on Eddie’s plump lips as he walks over to what has become his side of the room, digging through his bag to find some clothes for the day.

“You love every second of it.” Y/n raises her eyebrow, “I’ll see you downstairs, weirdo.”

Y/n joins the group downstairs, everyone huddled in the kitchen eating breakfast. “Hey guys” smiles full of pancakes and bacon greet her back. “Where is Eddie?” Jeff asks, looking around to see if he had missed him- which was pretty hard to do since he sticks out like a sore thumb with his crazy dark hair and his loud mouth. “He should be coming down any second!” She grabs a plate, adding two pancakes onto it, a pat of butter, and some maple syrup.

Eddie comes down almost scarily quiet, coming up behind her and kissing her cheek. “Oh thanks for making my plate, sweets!” He takes the plate of pancakes from her, adding on some bacon and a mountain of potatoes. “Gotta fuel up for the day.” He gives his signature smile then shovels a pile of pancakes into his mouth.

Y/n shakes her head, grabbing another plate and making breakfast of her own- again. She joins the rest of the group at the table, sitting down next to Eddie where he shovels food into his mouth like a starved man.

“I can’t believe we still have eleven days left of the trip.” Doug says, a smile on his face. “It’ll be over before we know it. I don’t want it to end!” Y/n turns to look at Eddie, his face just as full of confusion as hers is. “What do you mean eleven days? Are we not leaving Monday morning?” Y/n looks around, waiting for a response while everyone looks at her confused. “What the hell are you talking about?” Eddie says between a mouthful of potatoes.

“I’d like to know too.” Y/n says, her voice slow and confused.

“We’re staying here for two weeks. That’s been the plan all along.” Jeff pipes up, shrugging at Eddie like he’s stupid. “Well who the fuck was going to tell me that?” Eddie gulps down orange juice after then wipes the juice that falls from his plump lips with the back of his ringed hand. “We all decided to add another week to the trip, you were there.” Eddie tosses his hands up in the air and Y/n stands up, grabbing his arm to lead him to the bathroom to talk about whatever the hell was going on.

“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me we’re staying here for two weeks?!” Eddie scoffs at Y/n, shaking his head. “Obviously I didn’t know either! You think I wouldn’t have told you?” She groans, smacking her hand down on the sink. “Why didn’t you pay attention?!”

Eddie’s jaw drops, throwing his arms in the air. “Maybe if you would have paid more attention you would’ve figured it out!”

Y/n grabs the hand towel, slapping him in the arm with it. “You’re so frustrating!” The room goes silent for a while, both of them thinking how this is going to work out, how they can deal with another week of this without cracking.

Suddenly Y/n hears Eddie’s deep chuckle, shooting her head up to see his arms cross against his chest while he has a crooked smirk on his face. “What?” He continues to laugh, rubbing a hand over his mouth to try to stop the laughter. “Are you done with your fit now?” She’s a little annoyed, but can’t help but crack a smile. All Y/n has to do is let her family know that she will be gone another week so they don’t get worried if they try to call or visit, she needs to call the hideout and let her manager know that she’s going to be gone longer than anticipated. And luckily she has enough to fall back on since she will be out of work for two weeks.

“I think I can swing it.” She rubs her forehead, “Yeah, it’ll be fine.”

Eddie claps his hands together, smiling. “Then let’s get back out there and shove our faces full before we head out today.”

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Thankfully, the group found some stuff to do so they won’t be totally cooped up in the cabin the whole entire trip. The guys want to go to some of the bars around the little town they were staying in, and there are some random touristy spots they wanted to hit, like a snowy hike Eddie seemed excited for, but Y/n is not excited in the slightest. She wasn’t excited for hiking in the freezing cold, ice everywhere, smoke coming from your mouth anytime you speak, teeth chattering.

“Are you almost ready?” Eddie asks, pushing the door to the bathroom where she is getting ready. She gasps, looking back at Eddie. “What the fuck?” A smeared black line is under her eye, blinking fast since the wand hit her pupil. “Um, you’ve got something right here.” She groans, smacking her hand down on the sink, letting her mascara wand fall from her hand.

“You just ruined my makeup, Eddie!” He walks back over to her, lifting his hand up and circling around his eye. “Right there?” She nods, “Yeah, you don’t need all that shit anyways. It just hides your face from me.” Y/n is taken aback, her face gets hot as he walks out of the room.

“What?”

“Five minutes! Come on!” He claps his hands together as she hears him swing the door open and jog down the stairs.

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Y/n feels like an outsider.

Everyone is already well acquainted with each other, having established relationships that have lasted years. The guys are all sticking together and the other two girls have been friends for a while, so Y/n is kind of stuck. She gets along with the other partners, but the only one she’s comfortable enough to talk to is Eddie. So she lingers around behind him while everyone else chats about. She doesn’t mean to leave herself out, or seem rude, but she isn’t sure how to include herself and she doesn’t want to form some bond with these people if she’s never going to see them after this trip.

Eddie clearly enjoys hiking. He’s climbing huge rocks and going above and beyond, nearly causing everyone a heart attack when he fake trips near the edge of a cliff- completely ignoring the ice and snow all around him.

It’s not that Y/n isn’t athletic or necessarily hates hiking, it just isn’t her thing. She feels out of place enough and heavy breathing in the freezing cold in the back of the group is a little humiliating.

Patches of ice cover the big rock steps, everyone carefully trying to avoid them so they don’t slip. Snow falls and covers most of the steps so it’s a big guessing game on where the ice is under the heaps of snow.

Y/n grabs onto the railing they built for people to hold so they wouldn’t fall on the steep stairs. She tracks up the stairs, successfully navigating the rocks. She steps onto the last one and instantly feels unsteady, her foot sliding from under her from the slippery ice under it. She falls on the stairs, smacking one knee on a sharp edge and her chin on the ground.

“Oh fuck!” She hears, already growing more embarrassed than ever at the eyes she knows are on her. Eddie scrambles to help her up, “Careful now!” He whispers as she stumbles. Her eyes well up and she blinks hard to try to keep her tears at bay. She's not sure if the tears are out of embarrassment or the nauseating pain. Eddie sizes up her injuries, wincing and turning her head. “You guys go ahead, we’ll catch up.”

There’s spots of blood in the snow and the knee of her pants is completely soaked through. “C’mon sweetheart. Let’s sit you down.” He takes her hand and leads her to a little bench, throwing his first layer of jackets onto it so she doesn’t have to sit on the wet wood. “Sorry,” Y/n mumbles, feeling bad that Eddie has to stop when he’s clearly enjoying himself to clean up her mess.

“Honey, you don’t need to apologize for anything.” He softly chuckles, thumbing away her tears. “Can I check out your leg?” She nods, wiping her tears away while he shuffles her pants over her knee. “You’re lucky I’ve got all sorts of shit in here.” He pats his large hiking backpack and opens one of the front pockets, pulling out a first aid kit. “We’ve got to stop the bleeding but I’m going to try to clean it up as much as I can.” His tongue peaks out as he rips open some packages, wiping over her knee.

“Ah shit, I think you might need stitches.” She panics, shaking her head. “No, no, no! We’ve still got so much to do!”

“Who cares when you’re hurt? I don’t think anyone will mind if we skip bar hopping to get you taken care of. Now I can play doctor, I’ve had to stitch myself up a few times but I don’t want to risk that on you.” His tongue pokes out again as he bandages up her legs, wrapping it up. “I think that’ll do for now. Now let me see that chin, honey.”

He softly grips at her jaw, looking at the big cut under her chin. “Well, it doesn’t look good, but I think it just needs some cleaning up and you’ll be all better.” He rips open a little alcohol pad, whispering a warning before he wipes her cut clean. He sticks a padded bandage under it and pulls her pant leg back down.

“Okay, wounded soldier is all recovered.” He holds out a hand for her, kissing the top of your head. “Thanks, Eddie.” He rubs her shoulder, throwing his back back on his shoulder. “No problem, sweets. Let’s get back up there. The troops are waiting on us.”

Y/n successfully gets through the hike without any more accidents. Though she is embarrassed about the whole thing, she smiles through it. Eddie holds her hand the rest of the hike to ensure she wont lose her balance and end up injured again.

“Do you wanna go back to the cabin? We don’t have to go out with them.” Y/n shrugs while buckling herself into the van, Eddie starts it up and cranks the heat up to warm their red noses. “No, you’ve already had to hang back. I don’t want to keep you from them anymore.” Eddie leans in, “Truthfully, I don’t want to be their babysitter. So let’s hang back, yeah?” She nods, cracking a small smile. She was kind of relieved that Eddie doesn't want to go out, she wants everyone to have fun but she’s happy that she doesn’t have to hop around to crowded bars with a janky knee all night.

“Yeah.” And with that he drives off, dumping the group to some random bar and heading back to the cabin, Y/n half asleep next to him.

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“Wake up, sleepy head.” Eddie shakes Y/n awake , his hand on her shoulder. “We’re back. Time to get up.” Y/n blinks awake, stretching and rubbing her eyes before sitting back up. “Are we home?” She hears a warm chuckle from Eddie, his lopsided smile making her want to fall back into her cozy sleep. “We’re back at the cabin if that’s what you mean by ‘home’.” She nods, holding her hand out for him so he can help her out.

He leads them to the door. “You really did a number on yourself today, huh?” She nods, “I guess so.”

“That’s okay,” Eddie starts, opening the door and letting her walk through before shutting it behind them. “We can set up on the couch for the night. But first, I should probably double check to make sure you don’t need stitches.” She groans, but leads them to the bathroom nonetheless. Pathetically jumping up on the sink, Eddie knees the floor under her and rolls her pant leg up to investigate her injury again.

He peels the bandage, cleaning it with cool water. “You could use maybe one stitch. But you’ll heal fine without it. I’d do it myself, but you’re much too delicate for that, hm?” She gulps, nodding before he lifts her chin, wiping the dried blood clean. “Let’s keep these bandaged. You want to keep them clean, but you’ll heal them up in no time.” He pats her thigh to let her know she can jump down before he walks off.

Eddie gathers supplies, throwing down a mountain of blankets on the couch, along with all the snacks from the kitchen, and a pile of games he found in one of the hallway closets.

“We’ve got scrabble, monopoly, connect four, guess who, or we can just play D&D?” Y/n rolls her eyes, “What’s with all the baby games? It’s not 1981 anymore.”

Eddie scoffs, “You’re taking a lot of smack for someone who’s got a busted jaw. Shouldn’t it be all locked up or something?” Y/n laughs, plopping down beside him on the big puffy couch. She’s kind of happy that she slipped and busted her knee, if she didn’t they would probably be in a stuffy bar with old drunk men surrounding them who smell strong of liquor and body odor despite the cold temperatures. Without her injury she wouldn’t be wrapped up in a fur blanket on the couch, watching the snowfall in the big cozy cabin.

It’s crazy to think that a couple weeks ago she hardly knew Eddie and now she shared a bed with him every night.

“Let me get a fire going and then we’ll start a game or something? Maybe we can look through their VHS tapes?” Eddie stands up, walking over to the fireplace since there was an extra chill from all the snow piling up outside. “We can do anything. I’m happy as long as I’m on the couch.”

Eddie comes back after lighting the fire, “Well, let’s get this party started.”

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“I’m about to flip this fucking board over!” Eddie groans, smacking his ringed hand onto his forehead. “You chose monopoly don’t get pissed that you’re losing!” Eddie huffs, watching Y/n make her next move.

“I win! I win!” Y/n laughs loudly, sticking her arms up in celebration of her victory. Eddie shakes his head, trying to act mad. He grabs her arms pushing them back down- but she refuses and wrestles him away. Eddie can’t help but laugh along with her, wrestling her arms down. The board falls onto the floor with a clatter and they ignore it, Eddie straddling her legs while they fight. “You cheated! You are a cheater!” Y/n laughs loudly, Eddie smiling down at her. Suddenly his arms give out, the big smile not leaving his face. Y/n opens her eyes, her laugh suddenly fading as she sees Eddie above her.

The silence is loud, only their breathing can be heard before Eddie leans down, slotting his lips between hers.

The door suddenly swings open, making them fly apart like they were caught doing something they shouldn't have been doing. Eddie clears his throat, falling back on the cushion breathless, unable to make eye contact with Y/n.

Caught, both of their cheeks burn red. “Can’t wait until you get to your bedroom?” Doug questions them, letting out a throaty laugh while all the others stand there with smirks on their faces.

They both know that for people who are supposed to be in a relationship this is completely normal, but given their situation they are embarrassed to be caught, especially knowing what could have happened if they weren’t interrupted. “Fuck off, Doug. Don't act like I haven’t caught you two two unspeakable things. In my van too!” Doug gasps and Eddie snickers, walking back to their bedroom and Y/n follows hot on his tail.

Once they get into their bedroom Y/n shuts the door. Eddie stands there, watching her as she rubs her hands against her bare arms. Neither of them are sure what to say, obviously something happened back there and they would both be lying if they say they didn’t feel a spark.

“Well,” Y/n takes a step forward. “I think I’m going to get ready for bed. I shouldn’t be long- if you need the bathroom.” Eddie nods, biting at his fingernails. “Yeah, yeah. Go ahead.”

While she is in the bathroom he paces around the room before sliding his rings off onto this nightstand, leaning back onto the mattress and blowing out a sigh. He rubs his face, “what the fuck are you doing, Eddie?” He asks himself, wondering why he can’t get his thoughts straight. It’s supposed to be a two week thing, after this trip they can just fake a breakup and forget about this whole thing and move on with their lives. Eddie isn’t so sure about that. How can he ever just forget about all the memories he’s already made with her? Today was one of the best days of his life, being able to take care of her, spending the evening playing board games with her and completely letting her win.

“Do you mind if I turn off the light?” He hears her voice from the other side of the room, she stands next to the door, her hand on the switch. “No, go ahead. Let’s hit the hay.”

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A group of girls arrived in the cabin next to them today. The two other girls decided to invite them over to join them since they had a day planned of sitting in the hot tub and getting drunk.

The snow has stopped falling for the first time in their week-long stay, finally crawling up to a tolerable temperature of forty five degrees. Y/n and Eddie have completely ignored the moment they shared last week, taking the weekend to have a little alone time, the girls went out to get pedicures while the guys stayed in and played D&D. It was nice to get to know the girls, Y/n actually really enjoyed talking to them and getting a break from the nerdy guys was pretty nice.

“Okay, we’ve got enough beer for the day.” Eddie says, lifting two twenty four packs of beer and setting them on the table. “You’re joking… right?” Eddie shakes his head, “Duh!”

“Smart ass” Y/n mumbles, shoving the random groceries Eddie had bought into the refrigerator. “What did you say?” Eddie questions with the rise of an eyebrow, walking over to her and peeking at her face. “Oh nothing.” She hums, ignoring him standing behind her.

“Hm, no, I think I heard something!” Y/n shakes her head at Eddie’s words. “Nope, nothing.”

Eddie nods back at her, “Oh! Okay. Sounded like you called me a smart ass but maybe I misheard.” She softly laughs, shrugging. “You’re probably having auditory hallucinations. The beer is already getting to you.”

Eddie cracks a smile, “okay smart ass, go and get your bathing suit on before you end up in the spot next to Doug’s feet.” And with that Y/n jogs away to go put her swimsuit on and score them a good spot in the tub.

When Y/n gets back Eddie is already in the tub, a gap open which he obviously saved for her. On his opposite side is a girl, long dirty blond hair that falls mid back. She’s beautiful and Y/n can’t help but feel a little insecure in her color block bikini.

She turns back, walking into the kitchen. Feeling far too exposed to be walking around in the house, She tries to adjust the highwaisted bottoms and cups on her top to cover more, but to no avail. She dotes around, trying to figure out how to stall. She's not sure why seeing Eddie talking to that girl has got her so worked up, she feels a little lightheaded and her face is hot.

“What’s got you looking so green?” Jeff asks, stepping into the kitchen along with her.

“Um, nothing. What are you up to?” She places a hand on the cold surface of the table, trying to get her to calm down. She can feel herself getting increasingly angry with her own thoughts. Her and Eddie aren’t actually together, there’s no reason for her to feel so… jealous.

“I needed to go to the bathroom, but Eddie sent me for a beer.” Jeff complains, leaning against the fridge in his rubber ducky swim trunks. “That’s okay, I’ll grab it for him.” Jeff thanks her and runs off to the bathroom while Y/n collects a couple beers in her hands, knowing Eddie and the guys are bound to be taking a couple more trips to the fridge.

She slides into the hot tub next to Eddie, seeing the girl's hand placed on Eddie’s arm. A switch goes off in Y/n’s brain, “Here, babe. I got the beer you asked for.” Eddie turns his head, seeing her holding a can out for him. “Oh, thanks. Where did j-“ Y/n smashes her mouth into Eddie’s, cupping his jaw with one hand and pressing the other to his chest.

She slips her tongue in his mouth, Eddie taking a moment to process it before he slowly kisses back. She pulls away, red embarrassment painted all over her face. Eddie clears his throat, cracking open his beer. “I’ve got to go… clear my head.”

Y/n face palms. How stupid could she be? Of course he didn’t feel the same, he just needed a girl to play along with him so he didn’t have to tell his band mates his dirty little secret. She groans, getting out of the hot tub and ignoring the looks she gets from the girl. Y/n is sure she is nice, and she probably just ruined a potential girlfriend for Eddie, a real one.

She waits a while before she goes to talk to Eddie. As she walks up the stairs after fifteen minutes of sitting on the couch she plans what she will say to him, apologizing for shoving her tongue down his throat and getting jealous when she has no right. They aren’t actually together, this is all acting and she needs to respect that.

She opens the door to their shared room, hearing the shower running. She shuts the door behind her, sitting at the edge of the bed to wait for Eddie once he’s out. He was probably in the shower rinsing the chlorine out of his hair since he was trying to avoid it the best he could.

After a couple of minutes Y/n hears him turn the water off and she prepares for him to come out.

Eddie steps out, leaving the door cracked behind him to let the steam escape the bathroom. She opens her mouth to start, but promptly closes it. Eddie stands in front of the door, chest rising and falling with ragged breathing. She starts up again but fails to get any words out once more.

Eddie walks towards her, standing tall above her. Her breathing matches his, her chest suddenly feeling heavy. She reaches her hand up, settling it on his stomach and trailing it down before she pulls the white towel wrapped around his waist, letting it fall to the ground then wraps her hand around his thick cock. She’s at a loss for words as she takes in his naked form. His skin pale and pink, the dark blank ink of his tattoos contracting. His plump lips already puffy and bitten, his wet waves dripping down his chest and rolling past his belly button.

His cock is pretty and pink, long and thick. Perfect, just like she knew it would be.

“Eddie… I really like you.” He lets out a hiss then softly grabs her jaw, leaning down to press a kiss to her lips. “Fuck sweetheart, I’d love to talk about this right now but if you keep touching my dick I don’t know if we’re going to get any talking done.” He presses his lips back to hers, trailing them down to her neck. His hands grab at the strings of her bikini, trying to untie it but failing.

“Get this fucking thing off.” She softly laughs into his mouth, reaching behind her back and pulling the strings to untie them. He peels the wet top off of her skin, groaning at the sight of her tits. “Jesus Christ, honey.” He’s practically drooling at the sight of her, reaching out to run his hands along her body. “Get in the bed.” She listens to his order, crawling up the bed and laying in the middle, watching him follow her lead and crawl over her body.

Y/n reaches down, going to pull her bottoms down. “Don’t you fucking dare.” Eddie practically growls, pushing her hands away and slipping her swim bottoms off herself. Her chest heaves, begging him to do something, touch her, feel her. “Please.” Eddie smiles down at her, “please what? What do you want me to do?” His hands slide down her thighs and her hot skin warms his cold hands.

“Anything, please Eddie.”

He connects his mouth with hers again, moaning into the kiss. He tastes like beer and cigarettes and Y/n loves it, she doesn’t think she’ll ever get enough.

Eddie’s lips trail down, pressing pecks down her arm, her chest, her sides, kissing over the little stretch marks that line her hips before he sinks between her thighs. “Is this good?” Eddie asks, his deep voice dripping out like honey that’s been sitting in the sun too long. His big brown eyes stare up at her, dusted with lust and heavy with need. “Yes, yes it’s perfect.” He lets out a deep laugh, making her squeeze her eyes shut as hard as she can to stop a moan from coming out of her pathetic mouth.

He finally lowers his head, pulling her thighs up to rest them over his shoulders. “Fuck look at that.” Eddie presses a kiss to her thigh, “is this all for me?” She bites her lip, nodding. Eddie dives in, pushing his tongue between her lips.

Y/n gasps, her hand flying into his dark waves. Her eyes flutter closed, enjoying the feeling of Eddie’s tongue working magic on her. He gently sucks at her clit while he slides a ringed finger inside of her. They hear a creek at the floor, the stepping sounds far too close to the room for their liking. Eddie looks up, panting. “Did you lock the door?” Y/n shakes her head and Eddie jumps up, walking to the door to quickly lock it before any of his rude friends could barge in.

Y/n admires Eddie’s perky ass, softly laughing at it bouncing. Eddie jumps back on the bed, both of his hands cupping her jaw as he pulls her into a kiss. Y/n hand cradles the back of Eddie’s head, closing her eyes and leaning into him. “I think I might have a condom.” Eddie softly laughs on her lips, pulling her body closer into his.

“I don’t have any. I didn’t think this was how the trip would go.” Her hands slide over his arms, threading their fingers together and placing pecks over his lips. “One” kiss “second” kiss “I’ve gotta grab one I’ll be right back.” He laughs on her lips, giving her hands one last squeeze before grabbing his wallet and pulling out an old condom he’s had in there for a while.

“It’ll do the trick, right?” Y/n softly laughs, nodding. “Yeah, as long as there’s no holes in it.”

Eddie shrugs, looking at the gold packet. “Should work.”

“Lay back.” Eddie mumbles, getting serious again as he tears open the packet with his teeth, rolling the condom onto his cock. “You ready?” He crawls between her legs, his thumb rubbing her clit. She nods, pulling home closer. He knees the bed, lining himself up before slowly pushing inside of her.

She gasps, gripping at his arm. “You okay, honey?” Eddie trails kisses over her neck, taking his time to place delicate kisses on her skin. “I’ve never been better.” He pulls out, starting to slowly thrust in and out of her while his mouth gravitates to one of her nipples.

He sucks at her nipples, feeling it grow hard in his mouth. He circles his tongue around the sensitive bud, gently biting at it. Her back arches into him, throwing her legs around his hips and pulling him into her again. “Faster baby, please.” Her hand rests on the back of his head again, moaning at the electric feeling pulsing through her body.

“Fuck, you’re so wet.” Eddie’s pants, completely breathless as he slides in and out of her, making a complete mess of the now crumpled sheets. Y/n feels her wetness drip down, surely making a wet mess of the fabric under her, but she couldn’t care less.

She didn’t expect the fucking whines that come out of his mouth. Whining like the one thing he’s never wanted has been ripped from his hands, laced with want and desire. She squeezes around him the moment the noise hits her ears, feeling like she could already cum around him.

He whines again, shoving his face against her neck. His hips speed up, snapping quick and deep. Eddie hits her G spot, making her back arch. He hums, letting out a little breath. She’d spend the rest of her life making him feel good as long as he keeps making these noises.

She doesn’t get around much, but she’s never had someone be so delicate with her but still make her feel so good. Everything about him is intoxicating, the slight drag of his teeth against her lip when he kisses her, the way his head falls back when he feels really good, the way his thick cock stretches her out perfectly and fills her up.

“You feel so fucking good, sweetheart. Jesus H Christ, I fucking love your pussy.” He's obviously close to cumming as he starts rambling on, his balls growing heavy as he gets closer and closer. “I need you to cum first, sweetheart.” His hand slips between them, rubbing her clit. Y/n’s thighs twitch as the feeling, feeling more lightheaded as she gets closer and closer.

She squeezes tight around him, never wanting it to end as his cock slides in and out of her dripping pussy, Eddie all over her. “I’m about to cum, Eddie.” It takes him all but one second after her words for Eddie to bust inside of her, moaning loud. His hand never slips from the spot where he rubs her cunt, needing her to cum more than he’s ever needed anything before. “C’mon honey. Cum for Eddie, please. I know you want to.” She whimpers, closing her eyes as he works her closer and closer.

“Eddie” she gasps, calling out his name while she cums, clenching around his dick while her eyes squeeze shut.

She blinks her eyes open, trying to catch her breath. She watches Eddie sink down between her thighs again, her eyes widening. “Holy shit” she whispers, feeling his tongue dart out to clean her messy pussy up.

He raises with a smile, pulling her into a kiss before he flops down next to her. “We’ve got to find spare sheets.” Y/n laughs, laying her head on Eddie’s chest. He rubs her back, kissing her forehead.

Edie glances around, suddenly feeling fidgety. “I…” he shuts himself down, not sure where to start. “Yeah?” Y/n looks up, placing a kiss to his bare chest. She laces their fingers together with the hand that wasn't softly scratching her back. “I know I’m not the… coolest guy ever, and I’ve still got some growing up to do… but I think I can be something good for you maybe… if that’s what you want.”

A smile breaks across Y/n's face, “I think so too, Eddie. I didn’t expect this trip to go this way… but maybe now you won’t have to lie to your bandmates about a girlfriend?” Eddie laughs, wrapping one of his legs around hers. “I think, maybe no more lies?”

“Yeah?” Y/n asks, rubbing her thumb against the back of his hand.

“Yeah.”

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“We should probably get up.” Y/n mumbles, Eddie half asleep as he breathes slowly with his head back against a pillow. “I can’t.” He whispers, “I’m too sleepy.” Y/n shakes her head, drawing circles on his chest. “We’ve just been laying on the wet sheets for almost an hour.” Eddie shrugs, finally opening his eyes.

“C’mon, I need to shower.” She jumps up and Eddie follows her, walking behind her as she opens the bathroom door, turning the shower on.

She looks in the mirror, trying to wipe the messy mascara that has leaked under her eyes. While she’s occupied Eddie leans against the wall, admiring her messy state. Completely bare, bed head and smeared makeup. “You’re really beautiful.” He’s just thinking out loud, really. Not fully aware of his thoughts just flowing out. “I think you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.” Y/n stands there completely stunned, not sure what to say.

“No one ever said that to me.” She awkwardly laughs, feeling embarrassed by his sweet words.

“Really? That’s hard to believe.” He takes a step forward, brushing her hair out of her face. “Can I tell you something?” She nods. “I told the guys that I was dating you before I even asked you. You were the one I told them about all along.”

Y/n’s mouth falls open, at a loss for words. “It’s kind of creepy, huh?” He laughs, shaking his head at how unbelievably dumb he can be sometimes. “I just saw you at the bar and you were so sweet and I just… I got a little crush on you and I really didn’t think it’d go anywhere.”

She sighs, “Maybe a little creepy before, but not now that everything works out.” Eddie scoffs, feeling playful again. “Creepy huh. Sure you want to be with me?” Y/n hums, tapping her chin. “I’ll give it a good two months before I get a restraining order.”

Eddie's jaw dramatically drops, grabbing her and yanking her over to the shower with him. “And I thought it would be kind of endearing!”

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“Wake up, baby.” Y/n whispers, pressing kisses to Eddie’s cheeks to wake him up.

Today was the last day of the trip, and Y/n was kind of relieved. It was always nice to get a break and go away, especially with how this trip panned out for her- but it all felt like a dream and she wanted to get back to reality to make sure it was all as good as it seems.

Eddie groans, yelling while he stretches. He tosses the other way, trying to get away from her so he can sleep some more. “Eddie,” she laughs. “You’ve got to wake up. We gotta be out of here by one and I already let you sleep in until ten.”

Eddie groans again, sitting up with a grumpy look on his face as he rubs his eyes hard to force himself to wake up. He shouldn’t have put off packing last night, but he got a little preoccupied.

He turns to Y/n a deep from turning his whole face down. Suddenly a smile flickers onto his mouth, “I forgot you’re naked.” He rubs his hands together like he has an evil thought. Y/n steps out of bed, throwing on Eddie’s corroded coffin shirt and pulling her panties up. “No time for this. We’ve got to get packing.” Eddie flops back on the bed, sitting there for a beat until he throws himself out, standing up and stretching out with a big yawn.

“Put something on to cover your ass and get to packing.”

Eddie snaps his head to her, offended. “You love it!”

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Somehow, everyone packed all their things up and got them shoved in Eddie’s van with ten minutes to spare. Since Eddie drove the whole way up to the cabin, Gareth agreed to drive the last hour so Eddie could have a little break. 

“Get your ass in there.” Eddie jokes, smacking Y/n’s ass as she crawls into the van. She rolls her eyes, smacking his hand away before he closes the door for her. “Now you can’t fall asleep. I need twenty four seven entertainment to keep me driving.” She laughs, leaning her head back against the seat. 

“Were you guys in a fight at the start of the trip? You seemed pissed at each other.” Eddie and Y/n look at each other with knowing grins on their faces. “Something like that.” Y/n mumbles before Eddie starts up the van for the ride home. 

This drive doesn’t nearly seem as long as the first time around. Maybe that’s because she and Eddie get to cuddle up in the back, and Eddie is definitely relieved to not drive the whole way. 

Y/n plays in Eddie’s hair, softly massaging his scalp. “You’re putting me to sleep.” Eddie says with a sleepy smile, his eyes closed while he enjoys the light massage. His head rests in Y/n’s lap, deciding he needed a relaxing nap. 

“Yeah, well your nap won’t be too long. We’ll be home in about twenty minutes.” He groans, shoving his face in her thigh. “Just keep playing with my hair.” She laughs, “I will” 

It’s not long before they are back in Hawkins, sad the trip is officially over, but excited to be back home and in a more calm climate instead of there being a constant blizzard outside. 

Gareth dropped himself off and the others quickly trickled out, leaving just Eddie and Y/n. “I don’t want to leave you.” Eddie confesses, lifting their tangled hands and pressing kisses to each of her knuckles. “Maybe you don’t have to.” Eddie takes his eyes off the road for a second, glancing back at her. “Hm?” 

“Maybe just unpack at my place. Stay with me for a while.” She gives his hand a squeeze. “Maybe I’ll just stay with you.” He squeezes back, pulling up to her apartment building. 

“Let’s get in there. I want to make up for all that lost time on the trip when we weren't together.”

A/N: this is my first fic I’ve ever posted on here:)))! This is kind of big for me, sorry if there is typos I tried my best to check!!! I’ll fix the spacing because tbh it’s annoying me! I hope you liked it! Please let me know your thoughts!

Tagging people who asked or was interested! :D - @ali-r3n @celestair @rustboxstarr @the-fairy-anon @myotherlifeiswattpad

:)

[moonlight-prose]

HOPELESSLY DEVOTED TO YOU

a/n: eddie alden has lived in my head rent free for so fucking long. ever since i saw someone like you i was done for. actually in the first five minutes i was done for. this is a labor of love. something i have spent so long writing and editing because i needed to put this somewhere. it's the longest one shot i've ever written and i am so terrified to share it. i hope you love it as much as i do.

summary: being best friends with eddie alden proved a challenge. you knew him at twelve when he'd push you down for fun. you knew him at sixteen when his parents divorced. you knew him at twenty-two fresh out of college and ready to live his life. and you knew him now. yet the version of him that still remained was the one who loved you - hopelessly, endlessly, and entirely devoted to...you.

word count: 26k

pairing: eddie alden x f!reader

warnings: childhood best friends to lovers trope, oblivious reader + obvious eddie, jealousy, possessiveness, arguments, flirting, cussing, teasing, yearning, love confessions, he's in love and it's detrimental to his health, cigarettes & alcohol, p in v sex, masturbation, smutty books, feral eddie, oral (f receiving), cumplay, desperate sex, reverence, hand holding, the nostalgia vibes of a 2000s romcom.

PLAYLIST

New York’s winter left a taste in your mouth that always reminded you of childhood memories you'd never get back. The biting cold stung your nose until it dripped—your fingers numb as you clutched the cigarette between your index and middle, smoke trailing to the cloudy sky.

An ugly brown suitcase that passed from your father, brother, and eventually you sat by your feet. The bottom no doubt soaked through from the puddle of half melted snow. The temptation to get a taxi and meet him there nearly made your choice for you. Seeing as how standing in the fucking outdoors was your only other option. But the argument over the phone left you relenting within seconds—his voice eager and older.

You scrubbed your hands together for some warmth, lips burning on the but of your cigarette, as yet another round of cars passed you by. Soon enough you'd get to chew him out for making you wait. You'd pull out every guilt trip proven to work on him in the past, and get him to agree to some outrageous ask. That's how things went with you and Eddie.

He fucked up in some way or another. Begged for forgiveness with late night food and a soft smile. And like a fool you forgave him...every time.

"C'mon Eddie what the fuck," you muttered, wiping your nose with the end of your sleeve. You were pretty sure you'd freeze to death in another five minutes, and all Eddie would be left with was your corpse proudly presenting a middle finger.

A horn blared beside you bursting your eardrums. Counting down from five under your breath, you eyed the corner of the building, expecting to see a familiar mop of brown hair. When nothing happened you grabbed the handle of your shitty suitcase and began to walk. He'd reluctantly given you the apartment number and address halfway through the call in case something came up.

Something must have come up.

With a huff, you hauled your suitcase up to rest against your hip, the cigarette burned out and crushed beneath the toe of your boot. Waiting felt like a waste of fucking time. When you could instead be inside of his place already, thawing with a steaming mug of the shitty burnt coffee he made with pride.

No matter how many times you offered to teach him—rectify the recipe that shouldn't be ingested by humans—he claimed you drank it. Clearly that meant you loved it. There was no other reason for why you took his coffee with a smile and gulped at it like you'd just paid twelve dollars and all the change in your pocket.

Even after all this time...he still never saw it. The gleam in your eyes as you watched him make it. The ache in your heart that formed when he set it in front of you with a smile. The butterflies you learned to ignore when you thanked him for something so simple. A single slice of the domesticity you would never get with him.

People shoved you to the side as you walked. Doing what you could to refrain from slipping on the icy bits of the sidewalk. Taking a cab was out of the question with what little cash you had stuffed in your wallet. Your boss decided to withhold your paycheck for the second time—claiming you should have come in to collect it.

The temptation to scream at him in person left the second you realized the money wouldn't even cover the rent next month. So like an idiot...you booked a flight to New York (much to Eddie's delight) and packed a bag large enough to stuff two weeks worth of clothes in it. He believed it was his incessant nagging that finally got you here; you didn't have the heart to tell him that you held no other option.

"Watch it," you snapped at a man who's coat probably cost more than your grandmother's gold ring you wore around your neck.

He scoffed, turning back to the conversation he was invested in on his phone. Getting into a fight wasn't exactly a part of the plan. But the anger began to eat away at your heart—gnawing at your patience the longer you were here. Wandering the city streets. Alone.

"Now that's not the Kit I know."

You whipped around, eyes wide and hair upright on the back of your neck as Eddie's broad smile came into view. The leather jacket he wore complimented his tall figure; the once skinny shoulders you remembered now a broad form you certainly didn't expect. Pictures crinkled by the mail didn’t do him justice. Yet the hazel eyes you knew sparkled with a joy that still managed to entrance you in a single glance.

It felt pathetic how quick you turned into a simpering girl in his presence. Still the eleven year old kid he used to push into muddy puddles because it made him laugh. Somehow that made heat spill into your cheeks—a flustered expression flashing across your face.

He squinted, hands on his hips, as he bent down slightly to push his face directly in front of yours. "What'd you do with her? My little kitten?"

"Fuck off Eddie," you scoffed, shoving at his shoulders.

The suitcase slipped from your hands, dropping to the floor. Eddie didn't waste a second before he was scooping up the handle in his large hand, his arm slinging around your shoulder as he dragged you across the traffic infested street. You squeaked at the horns that went off when you sped in front of them; a multitude of cuss words shouted into the cold air.

"I thought I told you to wait at the airport entrance?" The warmth of his body soaked into your frigid form, loosening your limbs slightly. You'd never experienced such bliss.

"You took too long, asshole."

He laughed—loud and boisterous and perfectly Eddie. "Well forgive me for making an effort to try and get you breakfast. The line was so fuckin' long I had to forgo your coffee."

"Shame." Unconsciously you leaned into his hold as you walked down a street covered in barren trees. "Guess you'll have to make me some."

"You always say you hate my coffee Kit."

"I don't hate it."

"You're a fuckin' liar." Yet he still smiled, his face tilting to see the little furrow of your brows as the cold air began to sting your nose.

You rubbed at it, hoping to alleviate the sensation. "It's just always so burnt Eddie. I never got that. Even when I bought you that fancy coffee maker for your twentieth birthday!"

"Hey!" Shoving you closer as a couple walked past, you did what you could to not stumble. "I never said I put coffee making on my resume. So really it's your fault for making assumptions."

"My–" you spluttered. "Oh fuck off Alden!"

He laughed and you felt the sound shoot through your body like the trigger of a gun finally being pulled. Phone conversations did nothing to appease the longing you felt in his absence. There'd been an Eddie shaped hole in your life for years. Now suddenly you were at a loss with what to do once it was filled. You chastised yourself for pining over a man who would never see you as anything but a friend. Yet somehow...he never knew.

Even through highschool and all your blatantly obvious reactions to how he affected you, Eddie Alden remained entirely oblivious to how much you truly loved him. How your heart screamed for him each morning and night. He was the balm to every wound that ailed you—yet you were only gifted with its comfort every few years.

"My place is one block over, but we could grab some food if you're hungry." His voice ripped you from the depths of your mind, shoving you back into the present.

Where you were pressed against his side by an arm that felt stronger than you remembered. You glanced at him, tracing the curve of his side profile before you realized you eventually had to respond. None of this helped the preexisting crush you spent years trying to get rid of.

Whatever feelings you believed to be evicted from your heart came tumbling back with a fury—a vengeance you'd never experienced before.

"Kit?"

You jumped, catching his gaze; to realize you'd been staring at his lips for far too long. "Your place. I'm fucking freezing out here. Could do with some blankets."

His grin deepened. "Blankets I've got. And a bed. Well a separate bed. Had it put in the guest room for when I managed to finally get you here."

Surprise filled your system—eyes wide and mouth parted. "You bought me a bed?" you exclaimed.

"Nah. I bought a bed."

"Right. Sure." He pinched your arm, chuckling at your pained yelp. The hit you landed to his stomach in a feeble attempt at backlash only seemed to make him laugh harder.

Fuck. You missed him.

A horn blared behind you, slicing through your nerves as he weaved the both of you seamlessly through the crowds of people. New York was far louder than you expected it would be. Sure, you'd heard the noises while on the phone with Eddie, but this felt twenty times that. You were surprised that he got any sleep in this place; though knowing him...he rarely slept if the slight dark shadow under his eyes was anything to go by.

He spent days running around at his job, nights chasing the tail of someone pretty, and what time he could spare talking to you. Giving you the dirty details on people he came across, drama with his coworkers. Every little aspect of New York he could shove your way—knowing how much you longed to get away. How your heart ached with the thought of traveling to distant lands.

He bought you the maps hanging on your apartment wall back home; a celebratory graduation gift when you finally managed to accomplish getting your masters. Back then he thought you'd join him out here.

Or perhaps he was merely holding that hope like an oblivious idiot; his mind fixed on the idea of you here for longer than a visit.

Although you could say the same for yourself. The belief that your life would start somewhere other than at Eddie's side began to fester in your heart, becoming a wound you could never heal. Merely a twisted game you played with yourself. The constant push of wanting more when a part of you knew he would never see you that way.

No matter how many times you pushed...he'd never tell you about them. The women that twisted his head around; the ones that brought a familiar flicker of bitter heat to your chest.

Eddie wasn't yours.

You knew this.

You accepted the truth halfway through high school when you stumbled across him with his tongue down a cheerleader's throat. The lingering pain thickened the longer you spent in his warm charismatic presence—like a knife suddenly protruding from your chest. But much to your own detriment...it was your own knife. Not his.

So you swallowed the brief seconds of jealousy, your body leaning into him with a heavy exhale of winter air. If he noticed your split second mental battle, he didn't say anything. You supposed that's what you loved about Eddie. He understood your cues faster than you did—giving you the room to breathe, to garner enough sanity to push through whatever hell you created in your own mind.

He let you anchor yourself to him, willing to drag you out of the well you dropped yourself in whenever you needed a helping hand.

"So I have a proposition," he exclaimed, tugging you across the street to a building that looked eerily familiar.

"I might have an answer."

He snorted, rummaging in his pocket for the jingling keys that were pressed to your side. "There's a bar on the bottom floor of my place that has shitty beer and shittier nachos."

You smiled, wide and stupid and hopelessly head over heels in love with your best friend. This trip would no doubt come back to bite you in the ass eventually. You practically felt the sharp teeth of reality begin to sink into your heart. Ready to rip you open with jaws coated in your own blood.

Really this was your fucking mistake; letting your best friend talk you into this with the claim: 'You're gonna have the best fuckin' time Kit.'

You followed him through the bulky metal door. "I'm listening."

"I know how much you love shitty nachos." The stairwell echoed with your footsteps—a drip from a leaky pipe splashing every few seconds. "It's not much, but I figure it'll get you acquainted with this grand old city."

Saying no to him felt as if you were pulling teeth, but the fatigue from your flight was beginning to weigh heavy on your shoulders. While traversing the city at night with Eddie sounded like a dream come true. You knew that if you didn't get some rest you'd be kicking yourself tomorrow.

"Tomorrow night," you requested, lugging your bag over your shoulder as he fumbled with the door to his apartment. "I'm ready to keel over and die."

He smiled, letting you wander in before him. Eddie trailed after you, watching in rapture as your eyes went wide with awe at the sheer size of his place. Large windows allowed sunlight to spill into the living room, casting a soft yellow glow throughout the kitchen. Ethereal in its simplicity.

You could practically see the spots where he spoke to you on the phone; the echo of him rummaging in his own fridge now put into perspective with the sight of it. How he would smoke on his fire escape during the summer months when the air finally turned crisp with the promise of fall. How he'd lay on his couch, television blaring as you both watched the same channel.

"Ya like it?" he asked, dropping his jacket on the back of the couch.

"Eddie it's..."

"Massive?"

You turned, sunlight forming an angelic silhouette behind your head and Eddie felt the breath get punched from his lungs. Suddenly he wished he wasn't such a shit artist. That dream was discarded long ago in an art class he would later fail. He longed for charcoal, paints, paper, anything to commit your beauty to a canvas. To hang it in his home as a permanent art fixture—a glimpse at what heaven must look like.

"It's beautiful," you gushed, your smile dazzling in the late afternoon sun.

So are you.

He'd never say it out loud, entirely aware of what you'd say—play it off as a joke, pretend he was teasing you—but the fist around his heart squeezed until he couldn't deny the truth. Mentally he cussed out your future lover. Too ashamed to admit that if you kissed him right now, he'd buy a damn wedding ring tomorrow.

"Bathroom is small enough to drive you a bit insane," he said instead, shoving the thoughts in their respective boxes and throwing away the key. "My room. You're always welcome. And this–" He pushed open the guest bedroom. A fancy duvet and collection of pillows was placed neatly on the queen mattress; frames were propped on the empty dresser—images of you and Eddie throughout the years. "Will be your room."

Stepping into the space felt like taking a breath of familiar air—your heart fluttering at the care he took before allowing you here. It reminded you of all the times he put you before anything else in his life. His fierce protective nature that was always placed upon your shoulders. How he claimed you the second he locked eyes on your timid form.

"Homecoming?" You gestured to the largest frame on the nightstand.

Eddie in a red football jersey, his face painted in white streaks, sweat causing his hair to stick to his forehead. He held you beside him—helmet in his hand and a smile big enough to blind half the girls in your school on his face. You could recall that day with vivid clarity. The butterflies you felt at seeing him so happy, so carefree.

Your childhood was filled with memories both good and bad. But Eddie somehow managed to solidify himself in those tinged in warmth and overflowing with a wonder that left you breathless.

"It's a good picture," he replied, running his hand along the back of his neck, cheeks flushed a light rose. "My mom sent it to me a year ago. Said I'd take better care of it."

You smiled, tracing the corner of the brown frame. "Seems like she was right."

"Yeah..." His eyes followed the curve of your hips, pausing briefly on the shape of your ass in jeans he knew you only wore for special occasions.

His favorite jeans if memory served.

The same denim fabric he imagined peeling off you in senior year of college when you showed up with a bottle of wine and the promise of a week spent by the beach. They were in second place, right next to your little red bathing suit that had him fucking his fist for hours in your shared hotel shower. Shame might have burned in his chest at the memory, but Eddie couldn’t help himself when it came to you.

Insatiable, needy. Every fucking synonym in the book would classify how he felt around you.

"So Alden." Your voice dragged him out of his lust addled stupor, heat curling around the base of his spine. He swallowed thickly, forcing it down until he felt comfortable meeting your gaze again.

His eyebrow curved. "Kit?"

"What fun activities do you have planned for me tonight?"

He choked on his spit. "W-What do you mean?"

"Movies? Dinner? Anything?"

"Right."

Trailing to the kitchen with you hot on his heels, he rummaged in the take out drawer full of old menus that needed replacements eventually. Pages were stained, ripped, and crumpled from years of use. You snatched the only pizza place one out of his grasp, eyes flicking through the selections with a grin. Predictable. He could have ordered blindly for you if he'd have known your tastes were the same.

"Lemme guess–"

"Pepperoni–" you began.

"With sausage and jalapeños," he finished.

"Fuck off Eddie."

He smiled, confident enough to have your mind falter on anything except the man before you. How did he do that? Render you a bumbling fool who could barely put the correct words in order to form a complete sentence. One day you might have to ask if that was just his Eddie charm, or if it only worked on you in particular.

"I would. But it's my place kitten." Dialing the number he knew by heart, he left you to wander spots in the apartment that hadn't been on his grand tour.

A corner table held a photo of Eddie's mother, his father nowhere to be seen in the background. You didn't blame him for avoiding the man entirely. After what occurred you were surprised that Eddie hadn't killed him; although he once came close at nineteen. The night his mother spilled the truth over one too many glasses of sherry.

The night Eddie figured out the man he once looked up to had a different family in an entirely different state.

If you trailed your fingers down the back of his neck you'd find the spot where his father slammed him into the banister of their front staircase. The fight bordered on brutal. A viscous act that left what relationship remained tattered and torn to shreds on the floor around them. Both men landed hits with no true aim, teeth bared and seeking blood through the red haze of their anger.

Eddie wanted revenge. His father wanted submission.

They'd always stood on thin ice ready to crack beneath the weight of their baggage. A horrendous cycle of push and pull—each one aware of how to tear the other down with ease. Their bond was built on torment. And to watch the tension explode, drowning them both beneath the glacial waters, left you stuck in a dark chasm of helplessness.

Stupidly you got a scar to match when you threw yourself in front of a near unconscious Eddie, attempting to stop the man from landing a final punch to his son's face. He hit you instead. The scar on your shoulder was small, barely there, but you could still feel Eddie's lips on it when he cleaned the wound. Apologies spilling from his lips until he fell asleep in your bed.

But you supposed that was Eddie. A protector above all else.

The man who would throw himself into the heat of battle before considering the consequences that came with a choice that reckless.

"They'll be here in twenty minutes." He crept up behind you, glancing at the photo of him on his Mom's birthday. "Thinking about that night?"

You jumped, glancing at him over your shoulder. "Yeah."

"Hard not to."

"Has he ever..."

"No." The darkened shadow across his face gave you enough of a response. It was time to move onto a different subject.

"So..." You settled on his couch with a heavy sigh. "Your work."

Dragging the throw blanket his mother knit him over your legs, he clambered onto the empty space beside you. The heater was slowly sputtering to life—radiator giving it all it had to keep the both of you warm. But beside him you felt the heat practically emanate off his body in waves.

What you wouldn't give to curl into his lap and seek it from the source.

"The drama has been exquisite," he stated, draping his arm on the top of the couch behind your head. "You remember me tellin' you about Jane?"

"Goodall?"

"The very one." He settled further into the cushions, legs spread beneath the blanket until he nudged yours. "She and Ray broke up. It's been hell in the office dealing with their confused tension."

"Wait, isn't this the guy who cheated with her?"

He nodded. "Now I'm not saying he's horrible. But you gotta at least break up with the girl before you go with another."

"Ahh you're taking my teachings to heart," you smiled, leaning your head against his arm.

"I have to Kit. Every time I don't I feel like you're gonna pop out and whack me–" Landing a weak hit to his side, he clamped his hand around your wrist, tugging you close with a laugh. "Like that!"

Attempting to free yourself was futile when he outmatched you in strength and speed. Yet you found that you enjoyed being this close to him. Laughing as you once did in the years of your youth. When all that mattered was which movie you were seeing that Friday and what school the team was playing.

Somehow—in the blink of an eye—you were two adults stuck in your own travesties. Forced to forgo the blithe energy of your childhood. You'd jump at the chance to go back; if only to get more time with Eddie. To spend a few more hours in his bedroom watching horror movies that left you both shell shocked and restless.

To cheer him on at every game with the promise of burgers and shakes at the local drive in afterwards. To watch him grow up and move to New York. Only this time...you'd follow him the second he asked.

His eyes softened as your smile slipped from your lips, fingers curling around his fist. Hazel had never been your favorite color until Eddie left. You rarely thought of it when he was home, but as his absence became a reality you could no longer suffer through you began to see the color everywhere. In the trees, in the color of your old blanket you stole off his childhood bed, in the flannel that once belonged to his grandfather.

You found traces of Eddie Alden in every little aspect of your life, except him.

"Kitten," he murmured, a fraction closer than he'd been a minute ago. His eyes dropped to the curve of your lips, how they parted so sweetly at the sound of your pet name.

"Eddie..."

All that remained was the space between your heads—your body practically leaning into him the longer you talked. He could lean in and kiss you. He could finally learn what you tasted like, figure out how you'd sound if his tongue licked along yours. Fuck he'd never wanted something more.

The dazed glint in your eyes made his heart twist, his tongue peeking out to wet his bottom lip. Your gaze fixed on the movement immediately and Eddie felt his cock twitch in interest. One day he'd explain to you how fucking beautiful you were; how his mind went haywire at the sight of your smile. How he'd destroy himself to get you to look at him like he hung the moon and stars.

One day he'd spill his deepest darkest secrets to you.

Starting with three little words that kept him up at night tossing and turning.

He swallowed thickly. "I..."

The door buzzed loud enough to scare the shit out of you. Leaping back, you felt the breath catch in your throat painfully and like an idiot you began to cough. Eddie's eyes went wide, his hand tapping your back as you waved him off to get the pizza. Leaving you to sit there on his couch and choke...on air.

Dumbass.

"Thanks man," Eddie muttered, handing off what cash he had left in his wallet. "Keep the change."

He rushed back to the couch, pizza in one hand and a glass of water in the other. "Kit, you okay? Here drink this before you die on my fuckin' couch."

"Shut up Eddie," you snipped, eyes burning with a glare. Though the smile on your lips told him something else. "Hand over the pizza before it's you dying."

"Yes ma'am," he muttered, flipping open the box and swiping the remote off the coffee table. Taking his spot by your side back with a grin.

"I can't fucking move," you grumbled, leg splayed on Eddie's lap as the movie credits rolled across the screen.

He scoffed, kneading the flesh of your calf. "That's cause you ate five slices of pizza."

"You're one to talk Alden. You ate the other five." Nudging his leg with your socked foot, you tried to get a rise out of the man who couldn't stop smiling. At one point it would have unnerved you. Given you the impression that he was making fun of you, but then it dawned on you as bright as daybreak.

Eddie Alden was happy.

"It's one a.m. Kit," he groaned, head falling to the back of the couch. "I've gotta get up for work at six."

"That's so early," you sighed.

"Yeah well. Some of us work for a living."

Another nudge to his thigh deepened his smile and your heart notched another mark that began to form his name the day you turned twelve. His lethargic form struck you in the stomach. Sexy in his long sleeve black sweater rolled at the sleeves. Beautiful with that broad smile and twinkling eyes of joy.

Bewitching in every aspect that made him yours.

Though that remained a blatant fantasy in your mind that would never come to fruition. If only you took a peek inside Eddie's mind. If only you looked at him for longer than a few minutes at a time. You would finally see that his heart started beating for you the day he met you; unable to find a rhythm for anyone else because your song kept him alive.

Your heart's song held him on his knees hoping.

"So that means curfew?" you muttered.

He shrugged. "For me. Doesn't have to be for you."

Disappointment flickered in his eyes, masked quick enough to conceal the ache that rang in his chest. But you caught onto it, tugged it towards you to inspect what exactly he wanted from you. Perhaps it was stupid to put all your energy into pleasing a man, but when it came to Eddie you couldn't help it.

Seeing him happy made your entire body sing. It brought you a light you didn't know could exist in a life that remained bleak without him.

"I'm fine going to sleep early."

"Are ya sure?" he pressed, his thumb curling around your ankle—the soft brush teasing chills down your spine.

Biting on the inside of your cheek hard enough to distract from his touch, you nodded. "Just make it up to me tomorrow."

This time…he didn't bother to hide the effect your words had on him. A smirk curling onto his lips, eyes dark enough to shove the breath from your lungs. How could a man look so alluring? Eddie was your siren. A predator who called you out to the depths of the sea with his soothing song of love. A man who never knew how your heart broke each night. He'd never know how you cried yourself to sleep that first night he left, never learn that you struggled to breathe without him.

He would go on as he always did and you would watch with a somber smile.

"C'mon," you sighed, sliding off the couch and effectively breaking his hold on your leg (much to his dismay). "You've got to sleep. I'm not gonna be responsible for you fucking up at your job."

With a snort he followed dutifully, hands grabbing for yours as you walked him to the small corner by his bedroom door. "I fuck up already Kit. And try as I might, I could never quite figure out how to pin it all on you."

His smirk cracked into a full blown smile, laughter echoing in the large apartment when you landed a smack to his chest. Wrestling your wrists into his hands, he turned you swiftly until he leaned against his door, a lazy grin on his lips. That fucking grin. A hazard to your own heart.

"You keep hitting me, kitten. Living up to your name every day."

You glared. "Unless you prefer I bite you."

A jolt went down his spine, body warming the longer you stood there eyeing him with a barely controlled fury. The playful anger that landed him in trouble more than once. Endless nights of wrestling like fiends, challenges won and lost, board games that turned violent too quickly to control. You were each other's kryptonite—the weakness never to be mentioned beyond shared looks and bouts of possession.

You were his to love. His to keep.

If only you knew.

"I'm never opposed to biting," he replied, eyebrows raised.

"Gross."

"It's not gross." Leaning down he pressed a kiss to your cheek, thumb running along your pulse point on your wrist. "It's kinky."

You scoffed, shoving at his chest. "I don't want to know!"

"Oh come on Kit! I've got stories–"

Slipping free, you headed to the guest room. "Go to sleep Eddie."

"You don't want a bedtime story?" He trailed after you, leaning against the doorframe, gaze intently watching you dig through your suitcase for a weathered graphic tee he bought at nineteen from a shitty indie concert. To see you kept it all this time made his heart flutter, his stomach twisting into familiar knots he longed for when you were apart from each other. "I can easily put you to sleep."

"Keep being gross. See how long I stay," you joked, pointedly staring over his shoulder. "Do you mind?"

He settled further, arms crossed at his chest. "Definitely not."

"Get out you freak."

"Now there's no need for name calling–" A pillow hit his face. "Or for violence. I swear you keep wanting to hurt me."

"Well if it works."

He snatched the pillow off the floor, tossing it back onto the bed before he jabbed a finger in your face—even as you smiled up at him with those eyes that catapulted him directly into the damn sun. "Behave kitten."

"Oh bite me Alden."

"See now we're talking!"

A shove against his chest had him stumbling towards the door, your entire body being used like a counterweight to push him out. He fell into the hallway with a grunt, teeth clamping onto his bottom lip to silence the laughter that threatened to echo off the empty walls. This wasn't an unusual position to find yourselves in—fighting like children who each held onto one end of a life altering secret.

Nights spent in the comfort of your home in high school with Eddie forced to sleep on the floor (per your mother's instructions) lead to picking on one another until the other caved. A past time you often ached to get back.

Maybe that's why you couldn't stop smiling at the sight of him trying to cling to the edge of your doorway. Maybe that's why your heart was set to burst when he snuck back in to simply hear you shout his name.

Two humans helplessly gone for one another with nothing to show for it but a lifetime of friendship. Never meant to be more than this.

"Night kitten!" he called from his room, the door shutting with a soft thud as you slipped beneath the thick comforter.

"Goodnight Eddie," you sighed, settled atop the mountain of pillows, your eyes fixed on the frame a few feet away.

The smiling image of younger you mocked the current situation; her haughty demeanor formed a sour pit in your stomach, your body desperate to curl in on itself the longer you stared at the past. You were so naive back then. Ready and willing to jump when Eddie gave you the go ahead. But what's changed? How had you moved away from that young hopeless girl? You still gave into his pleas, you relinquished your strength and handed it over without taking a second to think perhaps you should have considered the fallout.

Eddie said jump.

And suddenly you found yourself in New York.

Still naive. Still hopelessly in love with a man who might never see you as anything other that high school girl. The kitten who trailed after him looking for an owner who might show you some love, who might spare you a second glance.

"Pathetic," you muttered, flipping to your other side in the hopes that sleep would find you.

The creak of your partially shut door is what roused you from a restless and fitful two hours of chasing sleep to no avail. Your eyes cracked open in the pitch black, body rolling to see the kitchen light illuminate a rather tall and shirtless Eddie. He rubbed a hand over his face, eyes bleary with lack of sleep, and wordlessly you pulled the blankets back to the empty side on your right.

A smile curled on his lips, lazy and barely there, but it lit you up from the inside out—his feet softly padding on the cement floor as he stumbled through the room. Unsuccessfully if the whispered cuss word muttered under his breath after hitting his leg was anything to go by. You hid your grin beneath the edge of the comforter, feeling the bed dip when he shuffled to find the comfiest spot.

"'S fucking cold in here," he mumbled, shoving the blanket up to his neck.

"It's your apartment."

"Yeah, yeah. Just c'mere." He sighed, long and bordering on defeat. "I missed you."

He didn't give you the option of backing out, his hands grasping blindly for your waist. Of course, you didn't put up much of a fight either. The bed felt desolate in his absence. As if it'd been waiting for him all this time—hoping he might come to fill the gaps where frigid air seeped through. Somehow Eddie remained your knight in shining armor. Your savior against the horrors no matter how minuscule.

Dark bedrooms and empty beds included.

Silence swept over you in gentle soothing waves. The promise of sleep settled contently in your grasp, allowing you a moment to finally rest for the first time since you got on that plane. But you couldn't find it in you to close your eyes. Instead you let your gaze wander over Eddie's face as he sunk into the depths of sleep—his hand clasped in yours and settled between your bodies.

"Hey Eddie," you whispered.

"Hm?"

"I missed you too."

His lips curled slightly, body shifting close enough for you to feel his breath wash across your face. Warm and minty fresh and so much like Eddie it chipped another piece of your heart off. He didn't know how painful it would be to leave. How you'd cling to memories as tiny as this in the dark of your own bedroom.

He wouldn't understand how you broke sleeping next to the love of your life, yet a chasm deep enough to drown you sat between you. Oh, what you wouldn't give to swim across with ease and find yourself on the shores of his love. You wished for him on every falling star, with each set of birthday candles, and yet the powers of the universe felt compelled to keep you apart.

"Hey Eddie." He hummed, his thumb running across your wrist. "Did you buy this bed for me?"

His laugh was low, a mere breath let loose in the wild for you to intake with your own. Yet you felt his hand tighten around yours and the slight shift of his face as his nose nudged yours.

Where you expected to get a firm no—a repeated response from hours before—Eddie Alden still had a way to surprise you.

"Yeah," he admitted softly, effectively setting your heart on fire.

Sunlight illuminated the open doorway, spilling into the bedroom with its soft glow. You ached to sleep for a few hours more, or at least until you could effectively wean the jet lag from your body. The bed was cold to the touch on Eddie's side—his furnace-like qualities doing nothing to keep you warm in the early afternoon air.

On winter nights he made sleeping with a shitty radiator worth the lack of blankets. But that might have just been because it was him beside you and no one else.

You winced when your bare feet made contact with the frozen floor—the shock to your system forcing you to remain awake. The urge to ask for a rug rose to the forefront of your mind, but Eddie had already spent so much time perfecting the bedroom. Each detail catered to your distinct style and taste. A small offering of home in the middle of an unknown city.

A small basket of your favorite snacks—that certainly hadn't been there last night—sat on the dresser. You chose not to question it, grabbing a cookie out of the pack to quell your stomach. Chocolate and peanut butter, a dangerous combination.

The same cookies you shared on the roof of his house—the echo of his parents shouting about everything and anything muffled in the background. A shitty radio propped by his feet to drown them out and the echo of your voice filling his ears. He never complained, so you kept talking. All the way through high school and college and each late night phone call.

You unknowingly became the salve to Eddie's pain.

The bandage that held up when all the others withered away. You kept him stable through endless fights with his father, on nights he simply couldn't take hearing his mother cry anymore. You held him on days when the grief of being the only thing tying their toxic relationship together became too much. The expectation to maintain a perfect standard ate away at him, until eventually…he didn't care anymore.

Until you made him change his mind; the invisible red string of fate connecting the two of you dragged him out of the darkness. Since then he refused to let go—not that you wanted him to.

"Eddie?" you called, ambling to the kitchen.

Burnt coffee stung your nose, drawing a smile to the surface. But a press of your palm to the half filled cold pot let you know he made it several hours ago. Probably in the hopes that it would rouse you from sleep before he took off for work. You caught sight of a small ripped piece of notebook paper attached to the fridge beneath a overly large magnet of Lady Liberty.

Coffee's for you (since you asked for only the best). I'm at work if you need to reach me, but feel free to grab breakfast at the cafe down the street. On me.

-Eddie

A twenty was stuffed beneath the corner of the magnet, crinkled and folded more times than you could guess. You wondered if he dug it out of his pocket—coat or jacket—and figured it would hold you over until he came home. The gesture simmered low in your stomach, fluttering up in waves of cascading love that longed to drown you. Some other day you would have let it, but today you stood in Eddie's apartment.

Today you got to spend time with your favorite person.

That was reason enough to swim back to the shore and claw your way along wet sand that your hands sunk into.

Dragging your heavy coat up and over your body, you pocketed the spare set of keys Eddie left out on the counter. A set that was always meant for you—not that he told you. Exploring New York on your own was never a part of the plan, but something warm burned bright in your chest at the thought of getting to witness parts of it for yourself. Things that Eddie wouldn't be attached to. Moments stolen for your own safe keeping.

Perhaps one day you'd tell him about this small adventure. Or maybe he'd pry the information out of you tonight over drinks. Either way you felt lighter than you had in years, strolling along the icy sidewalks, your breath forming a cloud with each soft exhale.

People rushed past you, some stuck in a phone call—a briefcase attached to their hand—others weighed down by gift bags meant for the upcoming holiday season. All with somewhere to be.

Clouds of dark gray were scattered across the sky, as if created by a single brush stroke with no real purpose. You longed to have a camera in your hands, to snap photos of your first time in the city. Pictures you would be able to look back on and hold in your hand; time that you'd never get again. At least then you might get to leave with something other than a broken and heavy heart.

The cafe was sparse with a few people sitting at tables, books or notebooks or even a newspaper propped in front of them. Steam rising off their various mugs. Everyone was looking to escape the cold for a bit. For some reason that made you smile.

Fishing the twenty out of your pocket, you barely got two feet into the place before ramming into someone's back. You braced yourself to fall, hands clenched in fists to give your arms the impact, only for someone to grip your forearms and drag you into a proper standing position. People's eyes were fixed on the scene before them. Someone about to make a fool of themselves—a person they would no doubt speak about to their significant others and friends later on today.

"Fuck I'm sorry," you gasped, righting your feet to keep some form of balance.

The first thing you noticed was his laugh.

Dark and raspy and soft enough to fill your body with a flutter that felt unknown to you in the presence of someone else. Your head rose to thank your savior, but brown eyes were all you could see. Warm with honey and amber that lit up with the quirk of his lips. Only once in your life had a man stolen the breath right from your chest, yet there he was. Drawing forth that spark of fleeting want that stirred low in your stomach—filling your head with a haze that felt soothing on your nerves.

"You alright?" he asked, voice a smooth match for his laugh.

Swallowing thickly, you attempted to drag common sense to the forefront of your mind. "I'm…um…okay."

Another laugh left you flustered enough to feel a thrill of panic streak down your spine. "In a rush for coffee?"

"What?"

He glanced at the way your fist was clutched around the twenty dollar bill. "You can go in front of me if it's an emergency."

"Oh. No I'm just wandering," you admitted, a bit breathier than you would have liked. "I'm not from here."

"Ah. Visiting?"

You nodded. "Came to see my friend. Although I guess I'm shit out of luck cause he's at work right now."

"And you came here for coffee?" His laugh was quickly burrowing in your mind, finding space where there's only ever been room for one man. Eddie. "He doesn't have good taste in coffee does he?"

"What's wrong with this place?"

A shrug had him lifting his hands in surrender. "Okay coffee, short lines. Although I guess I can't complain now that you're here."

Oh.

He was flirting with you.

He looked at you with a kindness that melted the armor that encased your heart for one man. The protection you thought was needed to survive loving someone who may never be able to love you back. Countless years of Eddie falling for woman after woman, times that left you broken and bitter simply thinking about the concept of romance in any form. But here stood a man who possibly wanted to get to know you.

Someone with a nice smile and eyes that screamed endless joy.

The grin on your lips came with ease this time around. "Your lucky day."

"Now that you mention it." His brows pulled together in a mock thought. "I did have a pretty good feeling about this place."

"Fate's doing?"

"Could be." Moving his way up to the counter, you quickly took that chance to fix any part of yourself that could be in disarray. "I'll take a latte and whatever she's having."

"That's not–"

The barista clicked the sharpie with an expression screaming of boredom. "Name?"

"Louie."

"Five minutes."

"Thank you ma'am." Snatching a small card placed at the front he scribbled something down and shoved it your way. "For you."

The wary glance didn’t seem to deter him. "The bill?"

He chuckled; you ached to hear that sound as many times as possible before the both of you parted ways. "My number. And name. Figure that might help."

"Louie…Parker."

"That's me."

The both of you huddled near a corner table, his back leaning against the wall and hands shoved into his coat pockets. A part of you dug for faults amidst his perfect smile and sharp nose—any chance for your heart to come to terms with why you should walk away. Useless reasons why you didn't need to stand here entertaining a man you might never see again. Yet nothing sprung to mind.

He was kind. Open and willing to let you pick through his mind—to see that what he wanted wasn’t the opposite of the other man your heart pined for.

Suddenly the name Louie sounded sweet coming off your tongue. The letters mixed with the lyrical melody of a future you didn’t consider before meeting Eddie. A chance to finally grow the way you wanted. You weren’t tied to one single person and to trick yourself into believing that was a disservice to yourself.

His name rang through the small cafe, signaling that your time together was slowly coming to a close. But you found yourself attempting to come up with a way to stay on this page—stopping the story in place.

“Here you go.” He handed over your order with a full blown smile that shone with a nervousness you felt linger in your own stomach.

So this is what you’d been missing all these years.

“I don’t do this much,” he began, tearing open two packs of sugar with a shaky cough. “But if you happen to find yourself free or with loads of time on your hands. I’d be happy to show you around the city.”

You sipped at your drink, biting back the smile that still forced its way onto your lips. “Adventuring with a stranger. Isn’t that dangerous?”

“Well I wouldn’t recommend it,” he huffed. “But cross my heart, boy scout honor, promise that I am normal as they come around here."

“Boy scout?”

His cheeks flushed scarlet; you finally understood the appeal of flirting. “Nothing wrong with being a boy scout.”

“No you’re right I’m sorry,” you giggled.

He straightened and graced you with a smile bright enough to rival the spark of caffeine in your veins. “Call me. If you want of course. But…I hope you do.”

At one point in your life this would have been the exact opposite of everything you dreamed of. The small fantasy created in the mind of an impressionable and naive child slowly began to break apart the older you and Eddie got. Some piece of you still longed for the boy who held you when you cried over small mishaps and boys who called you names. But she was placed on a shelf long ago—she served her purpose, she lived with a smile, and you were thankful to have known her innocence.

They say growing up is the hard part, letting go of childhood comfort. They never spoke about letting go of childhood love, of moving past something you counted on. A future that would never be.

“I’d like that.”

“Really?” You nodded, practically watching the relief wash over his tense shoulders as he fell into step with you, heading for the door. “Okay. Okay, yeah. I’ll uh…” He rammed into a woman, nearly spilling his coffee. “Shit sorry miss.”

Latching onto his jacket, you tugged him into you to keep his feet steady—the cuss she offered in response loud enough to follow the both of you outside. Neither of you could discern who laughed first. But the first domino was set into motion, leading to the uncontrollable ache of laughter that burned through your stomach. Your cheeks hurt, the tears were rising to the surface, and Louie fared no better.

The crimson tinge of his skin spread to the tip of his nose with the cold icy chill of the afternoon air. You couldn’t tear your gaze away from his beauty. The both of you were bent over, gasping for a full breath of air, and in the midst of this small joy it hit you. This was the first time you weren’t thinking of Eddie. You weren’t wondering what he was doing, what his days were occupied with.

You were blissfully free from the thought of your true love.

And it felt good.

“I’m going this way,” he gestured behind him, the steam from his cup curling around his face.

“I’m going the other way.”

He nodded. “Exploring?”

“Probably.”

“Well.” He sucked in a breath, reluctance in his stance. But eventually the pages would flip to the final page and even though you both wanted this to go on longer, the understanding of what this was still remained. You didn’t live in New York, he would never hear from you again, and that was the beauty of strangers. “Have a good day.”

You grinned, watching him walk into the throng of people on the street, the head of dark hair melting into the crowd with a sigh. “You too,” you mumbled, heading towards the corner with a lighter heart and weightless mind.

The city sang to you while you walked. A symphony of voices, of car horns and shouts, of people chattering on calls to nowhere and everywhere. You resided in the middle of a civilization that both welcomed and ignored you. Somehow that held a string of familiarity to it. The unconscionable knowing that somewhere in the chaos of New York, you belonged here.

Old sayings came back to your mind as you passed businesses and restaurants. A truth you clung to on the days that Eddie called to relay a week's worth of information from the city that never sleeps. Something awaited you here, a piece of your future yet to come true. Perhaps that’s why you got on the plane and agreed to his constant pleading. Not to appease him, but to find that something.

Your feet hurt after an hour, the cold breaching the thick layer of your jacket, and eventually you found yourself back at Eddie’s place. The pungent scent of fish became easy enough to follow the closer you got. His key felt cold against your palm, the weight of it suddenly looming in the distance now that you crossed paths with Louie. He wanted to get to know you, he wanted to spend time with you.

Eddie left you alone to wander on the first day of your visit.

“Yeah,” you sighed, sliding the key into the lock with ease. “I’ll call him.”

“I don’t understand how you can take so fuckin’ long in here.”

You swatted the imposing hand heading straight for your near perfect eyeliner. “I’m not against biting you Alden.”

The grin he flashed you in the mirror nearly broke the resolve you built up all day—his charm striking your heart with a lethal promise. Two hours of alone time in his place gave you a chance to collect yourself. Louie’s name and number was pressed into the small notebook you kept at all times. You itched to call him, make plans for a date that was long overdue in your life.

That is until Eddie waltzed through the door with the plea for you to get ready for a night out on the town. Some time to finally be the adults who took over for two young and reckless teenagers. Reality shattered clean over your head, reminding you that this trip—this short lived time of fun—was always meant to be spent with Eddie.

He made the plans, he got you here. To spend it with another man felt inherently wrong.

“Again with the biting kitten,” he sighed, sipping his cocktail made messily in the kitchen. “I’m starting to think you like the idea of marking me up.”

Your hand faltered, the mascara wand nearly ramming into your eye. “You’re delusional.”

“Mhm.” He popped the olive in his mouth with a grin, shaking his head at the glare thrown over your shoulder. “You don’t have to be fancy. It’s just a bar.”

“I’m doing this for myself Eddie.”

The slight roll of his eyes didn’t slip past you—his muttered words brushed off with another swipe of lipstick. Rarely did you get the chance to head out at home. Stuffed into cheap back road bars that believed the shitty beer would stop people from commenting on the state of their bathrooms. Forced to listen to nostalgic conversations that always stemmed back to the good old days of high school.

After a year or two of friends dragging you past the thresholds of buildings that’d seen far more than necessary from a string of generations that came before you, it eventually led to the confines of your apartment being your safe space.

Soon…they stopped asking for your presence already knowing the answer that sat urgently on the tip of your tongue.

“Never thought you’d be one to go fancy,” he mused, leaning against the door frame—his looming height throwing you off. “You never used to do it.”

You sighed, bitter and jaded and filled with empty words of irritation. “We had to grow up eventually. Consider this me being grown up.”

“Oh believe me,” he breathed, burning gaze dragging down to how your jeans molded to your hips. “I know.”

Downing the final dregs of his drink, he ripped his eyes from the dark denim with a disgruntled sigh attempting to ignore the ache in his stomach that rapidly spread to the tight confines of his own pants. Discouraging you from putting on pretty things was the last thing he wanted. The exact opposite rang in his mind like a bell without end—a reminder that if he stepped up and opened his fucking mouth this wouldn’t be an issue.

He wanted to reach for you, slide his hands into the pockets that were stretched over your ass and grope the flesh without concern for what it would do to your friendship. He longed for the chance to try and keep you in his apartment, to peel the fabric from your body with enamored words of worship.

The fear held him by the scruff of his neck, sliding down his spine with a vicious promise that this would shatter on impact. The bond stretched tight and thin over years and distance was vulnerable. To tamper with it was a catastrophe waiting to happen. He’d never forgive himself if he became the reason it ripped and frayed.

So he kept his mouth shut and watched as you admired the top that hugged your breasts, adjusting it slightly to pronounce their plushness. The second you puckered your lips, leaning forward to touch up the smudged lipstick Eddie felt his breaking point rush to the surface. With a barely hidden cough, he rushed to the kitchen for a glass of water—desperate to calm the incessant throbbing that stirred his cock to attention.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he muttered, the cold tap water sliding down his throat with a icy burn.

It didn’t help.

“Go the fuck away.” He snarled the words under his breath, gripping the edge of the cold counter until his knuckles paled.

“Are you talking to me?”

With wide eyes, he whirled around at the soft echo of your voice filling the empty space. You with trepidation in your gaze and mouth pulled into a frown. Those pretty lips carved from marble, accentuated in a mauve he wanted smeared over the bare skin of his chest. Shutting his eyes to the sight felt like the only way he could survive tonight, but you were waiting for him to reassure the doubts that spilled into an already hesitant mind.

Worries that overtook your mind at the worst times.

“No,” he blurted out. “Not really talkin’ to anyone. Just uh…needed some water. Sore throat.”

Your brows furrowed, lips curling into a grin. “It’s cause your apartment is fucking cold!”

“Lies,” he retorted, dragging his leather jacket up and over his body. “‘S cause you got me sick.”

“Oh bullshit!” An arm draped over your shoulders, leading you to the heavy metal front door. “I didn’t show up sick. It’s all your own fault for not taking my advice.”

“Advice huh?”

“Get a better radiator or fix it. I’m not getting hypothermia for you.”

Digging his teeth into his lip, he swallowed the smile—eyes gleaming beneath the stairwell lights. “Who says you’re gonna get hypothermia? You’ve got a heater right here.” He gestured down his body with a cocksure smile. “I won’t let you get sick.”

“You have a bedroom of your own.”

“Kicking me out already?” he exclaimed, following you down the steps. “I thought we were bound for life.”

Scoffing, you turned to glance up at his imposing form—the saliva drying in your mouth instantly. “Well…we’re…friends. Not roommates.”

He clutched his heart. “You wound me kitten.”

“Fuck off Eddie,” you laughed.

“I can’t.” He fell into step beside you, guiding you out into the frozen night air. “Unfortunately you’re stuck with me.”

Two bars later and three glasses of beer had you and Eddie stumbling through the doors of his third and possibly final pick of the night. The first wound up being downstairs. A small hole in the wall that served relatively good drinks, yet held no space for two extra people to add to the madness. So he dragged you downtown to a tiny hovel beneath the towering buildings of the city—only to wind up with a shitty pungent aftertaste at the back of your throat.

The space reeked of cigarettes. Butts of smoked joints and Marlboros scattered the floor as people cheered for whatever song came up next. Couples or strangers or first timers danced aimlessly, lost in the alcohol that filled their veins. You wanted to say you fared better, but the days of drinking Eddie under the table were long gone.

A forgotten piece of youth scattered along the back roads of your town.

“I’m gonna grab another beer.” He pressed the words to your ear with cold lips and a tight grip on your hip.

“Sublime,” you drawled, watching him push through the throng of people with a determined gait in his step.

Relenting yourself to the fitful search of an empty table, you nearly rammed your hip into the corner of a booth on your way past a small group of women. A bachelorette party from the veil and flushed cheeks of a soon to be bride celebrating her future. You swallowed the sour tang of jealousy, easing yourself past with a halfhearted grin at the woman who tossed a flawless smile your way.

Marriage was never in the cards for you. Eternally bound, tied by more than the strings of fate.

How could you think of anyone else filling the space Eddie stood in for years? He was the groom in your mind, the man waiting at the end of an extremely long aisle. Replacing him felt wrong. A betrayal that nearly threw you for a loop of dizziness.

Your eyes slid over the groups of people, finding him with ease at the bar—a beer gripped tightly in his hand and a smile on his lips…for the woman on his right. Bile crept up the back of your throat, burning your stomach ruthlessly. This wasn’t jealousy, this surpassed that. What you felt was a possession that settled in your bones the second you looked at him; a part of your mind that screamed he was yours.

But he wasn’t yours.

He was a single man living in New York and you were…his friend.

Swallowing thickly you navigated past another set of tables with your head down to watch the stumble of your feet. Only to feel someone slam into your shoulder, nearly toppling you over. Yelping, you gripped the hands that reached for your shoulders—eyes wide and breath lost at the prospect of getting injured while piss poor drunk. Brown eyes flashed in your vision, a face that echoed with familiarity, and suddenly there you were.

Back in that coffee shop in the arms of a stranger.

“We have to stop meeting like this.”

You blinked rapidly, lips tilting into a grin at the sight of Louie Parker. “But how will I make an impression if we don’t?” you quipped with a breathless laugh.

“Believe me–” He settled you back on your feet, his hands dropping to the small of your back. “–you’ve made an impression.”

“A good one I hope.”

He smiled, still warm, still…different. “A great one.”

Someone shoved past you, landing you right into his chest with a muffled grunt. You longed to get out of this stuffy bar, to find your way back to the spacious yet freezing apartment. But the arrival of Louie kept you rooted to the spot, intrigued to find out what might happen next. His smile drew you in with a serene lull of quiet in this crowded and loud place. The people melted into the background as he kept you close.

A different song came on, people cheered, and yet you found that hanging out with Louie was the best option for the night. You felt bad at the thought you were forgetting Eddie entirely, but he chose to leave you on your own to hit on someone. Why couldn’t you do the same?

“So since this is our second meeting,” he started with a nervous glint in his eyes, cheeks flushed with the alcohol he no doubt drank before this. “I was wondering if you’re free…um…in a few days?”

Sucking in a breath, you felt an unfamiliar flutter echo in your chest—one that solely existed for Eddie. “I’m not here for a long time–”

“Then tomorrow night?”

You froze, eyes wide at the thought of finally getting a chance to live. You owed it to yourself to finally experience this. To give the prospect of love in a different person another chance. So with a smile you placed a hand on his chest and found your footing in an unfamiliar space.

“I’d love to.” Heat spilled across your spine where he touched you; an unexplored path you tried not to be terrified of.

“Really?” His breathless voice echoed with a rasp that had you hanging onto every word. “I can pick you up.”

Nodding, you felt the rapid rate of his heart pump beneath your hand. “Just let me know the place. Easier that way.”

“Well I don’t want you to get lost,” he drawled, eyes half lidded and burning dark with a want that left you jittery. “It is a big city.”

“That it is,” you mumbled, teeth sharply pressing into your bottom lip hard enough to keep you level.

The beer tasted shitty enough to hold him over for another twenty minutes, knuckles rapping on the bar to order an extra for you. Aria slid into the spot beside him, her lips pulled into a knowing smirk that curdled his stomach. She worked at his office, often trading her girl troubles for his. It wasn’t uncommon for him to drink a bit too much and let loose the name of his dream woman—his favorite person.

He swallowed the remainder of his drink as she turned to him, eyebrow raised as silence and the chatter of people filled the space between them. That was the thing about Aria. She refused to let him get away until he spilled his guts. Until the one thing that bugged him fell upon her attuned ears.

“Shut up,” he muttered.

She laughed, taking a sip of the vodka soda pushed her way. “You’re like a dog with a bone, Alden.”

“I don’t know what you’re fuckin’ talking about.”

“Sure you don’t.” She glanced over his shoulder, no doubt at the stunning person he’d come to call his best friend. “That her? The soulmate?”

He swallowed down another mouthful. “I didn’t say soulmate.”

With a snort she leaned close. “I believe your exact words were: I met my soulmate at twelve and she doesn’t even know how much I fucking. love. her.”

“I was drunk,” he exclaimed.

“Still said it Eddie.”

Grumbling under his breath, he sipped at the second beer meant for you—eyes fixed on the sticky wooden bar-top that held an infinite amount of rings from glasses set there over the years. It wasn’t the finest establishment, but he found it to be a part of his life here in the city. A piece of the man who learned how to live on his own in a place that nearly throttled him on the first day.

“She’s visiting,” he mumbled into his glass.

Aria hummed. “Sure seems like it’s more than that. Especially with that guy.”

Pain splintered through the tendons in his neck with how fast his head turned, picking you out within seconds. A smile played along your smudged lips, your gaze transfixed on the man whose hands were curled around your hips. The same spot Eddie craved to touch each night, the same body that he longed to love with his teeth and tongue.

Rage simmered at the top of his stomach, his fingers clenching around the glass hard enough to crack it—jaw ticking and teeth grinding at the sight of your carefree laugh directed at someone else.

He never wanted to burn the world more. To ram his fist into the face of a man who might have been astronomically nice.

“Excuse me,” he spit out, getting to his feet with a lungful of air.

Her knowing laugh fell on deaf ears while he shoved past people. He was five seconds from vaulting over the tables to get to you, his heart hammering sharply against his chest. This hostility towards your dating life wasn’t born from malice. Not in any way that was directed at you. He merely hated each man who showed even a partial interest in you.

All through high school he shoved them away with duplicitous words and rueful smiles. Claiming that you were already dating someone, that you weren’t looking for much.

Perhaps it was awful. Maybe he destroyed your love life to sleep easier at night. But he did it because none of them would know your favorite color, or remember the album you played on a constant loop in tenth grade, or envision the home they’d build with you and what color the kitchen would be. They’d never see the depths of your heart even as you blatantly wore it on your sleeve.

He would.

He always had.

Call it selfish, call it insanity, call it hypocritical for bringing you heartache as he slept with half of New York. They all rang with a truth that haunted him—picking him a part with the ruthless edge of a sword he walked daily.

Because he was selfish and insane and a fucking hypocrite. He was everything you’d call him and more the day you found out. And he’d take it with a smile, the taste of you on his tongue as he stole a kiss. He would face the wrath of your anger if it meant you were his.

“How are you liking New York?” The man’s question echoed with a reverence that made the alcohol in Eddie’s stomach churn.

Somehow in such a short time you managed to charm a man before Eddie could gain the courage to tell you the truth. He knew he would be sick the second you guys got back to his place. He’d find himself on the bathroom floor as you pulled and strangled his weeping heart. And he couldn’t even blame you for it. You didn’t know the extent of his feelings, you were completely unaware of how he spent some days thinking of what you were doing—what you were thinking about—and it was all his fault.

“The city is packed–”

Eddie sauntered over with a smile, his hand finding purchase on the small of your back. “Is that why you’ve been trying to get out of visiting me, kitten?”

You froze, expression swirling with the guilt of being caught with your hand in the cookie jar, and Eddie had never felt more pathetic in his life. How could he make you feel bad about this? How could he ruin another prospect that clearly seemed interested in the way your lashes fluttered against your cheeks with each quick blink? Was he truly this inconsiderate?

“Oh!” You glanced at Eddie, your pupils dilating at the sight of his smirk. His ego swelled at the sight. “Eddie there you are.”

“Here I am.” At long last he finally acknowledged the man who clung to you with rapturous awe in his eyes. “And who is this?”

The stranger relented his hold on your hip to extend that same hand towards him. “Louie Parker. You must be the best friend?”

“And oldest friend,” he replied in a snarky tone of reproach, gripping hard enough to see him wince. “Since elementary school. Right Kit?”

“Kit?” Louie grinned at you; Eddie seethed.

You seemed none the wiser of the obvious pissing contest directly in front of you. “Old nickname. Eddie’s mom gave it to me. She used to call me the stray kitten he found next door.”

“It’s cute,” Louie replied. “Kitten.”

Eddie’s fingers curled into fists, eyes burning with enough anger to set the entire bar ablaze. You looked happy with Louie, blissfully so. It dug at the insecure parts of himself he thought he buried in college—the parts that screamed for peace. He didn’t come from a perfect family. He didn’t have the greatest hold of his temper. He wasn’t…the man you deserved. Maybe Louie was and maybe Louie was meant to be your husband—your forever.

That alone left him aching to snuff out the sparks even as they flew above his head. Selfish, greedy, possessive. Eddie was all of that and more, and he refused to be ashamed of things that kept you in his life.

You’d hate him for it later. That he could handle.

As long as you were there to hate him.

“We gotta go,” he announced, hooking a finger into the back belt loop of your jeans to tug you closer. “There’s another spot I wanted to show you.”

Staring at him incredulously made him dizzy with the sight. “It’s almost midnight.”

“Bars don’t close till three kitten.”

The pout on your lips had his heart dropping to his stomach. Fuck what he wouldn’t give to lick the mauve stain off your mouth. He wanted to taste the alcohol off your tongue, to test his theory of it being better off your tastebuds. He wondered what you would do if he were to kiss you right now in front of everyone. Would you push him off? Would you curse at him with vitriol on your lips? Or would you sink into it with the same needy ache that spread down to the tips of his fingers?

He hoped for the former even as he knew the latter was reality.

“But I…” A quick glance at Louie left you floundering for the right answer. Eddie played it up with a ruthless streak of defiance.

Leaning in, he felt you go slack in his hold at the sight of his wide eyes pleading for you to say yes. “Please.”

You sighed, pulling free from Louie’s hold with an apologetic grin. “I’ll call you.”

Pride bloomed in his chest, guilt clinging to the last dregs of beer that sat at the top of his stomach. This vacation wasn’t meant for you to fall in love with someone else. But who was he to make that choice for you? You should have spit at him, cussed at him with the teenage fury handed to him in the past. The girl he longed to see once more.

The one you buried the day he left you behind. A way to escape the pain of his absence.

“This better be good,” you mumbled, hand gripped into the back of his jacket as he led you through the crowd.

His hand itched to slide into the pocket of your pants; instead he sunk his teeth into the flesh of his cheek. “You’ve never seen the city at night.”

“I’m here all week. We could have gone some other day.”

A shrug became his only answer. The opportunity for silence grew easier as you traipsed beside him, the echo of night drumming the chaotic beat he grew to harmonize with. Taxi’s honked their horns, people shouted across small streets. New York in all its glory. A list of spots to take you formed in his head, the bars and cafes still open past midnight. You would loathe most, find no entertainment in others, and so he led you aimlessly—no true destination needed when all he craved was your company.

Much to his surprise you looped your arm around his, soaking in the glow of streetlights and frozen air of an icy winter. Eyes filled with wonder and lips curled into a grin, he knew this was it. The moment he’d think back to after your plane departed, after you finally left him to survive the gaping hole forged in his unsteady heart. You with starlight in your eyes—rapture painted across a face he saw in his dreams.

A haunting angel that saved him long ago.

“You look like you belong here Kit,” he admitted with a whispered reverence.

Your gaze met his—the sparkle bright enough to rival the glow of the moon. “I do huh?”

“A true New Yorker if I’ve ever seen one.”

“High praise coming from you.”

A beat of silence echoed with decades of a future brimming with one single possibility. A life spent here…with you.

“So stay,” he uttered.

The whip of your head sent pain down your neck. “Ha ha Eddie.”

“I’m not joking.”

Your smile faltered. “I can’t stay here Eddie. I don’t…”

“You don’t what?” His brows furrowed—other hand sliding to keep you close.

“I don’t belong here.” With a sigh you ducked your head, the streetlight playing off your hair, forming a halo. “Not like you do. I’d have nothing holding me here, nothing to do.”

His chest twisted, heart stuttering an unknown beat of anguish. “Yes you do.”

“Eddie–”

“You belong here more than you know. With…”

With me.

To wrench the words out of his chest felt impossible. A feat he’d been trying to overcome since highschool. One that grew in size the more years that passed—his secret tucked away from reality, its frail unsure nature reeking with a vulnerability he was too ashamed to reveal. But you knew more than anyone. You knew his quirks, how he dreamt of being a screenwriter, how he broke down crying the night his mother officially signed the divorce papers—splitting his life down the middle.

You’d seen him on his knees begging the world to cease his suffering. And in a way it did. Because with every smile you gave him, all the nights spent laughing until your stomachs flared with that soothing ache, you healed his haphazardly stitched up heart.

A question still burned in his chest, spurting out of his mouth without thought. “What do you think of love Kit?”

The incredulous expression on your face nearly made him take it back. But then…you answered.

“It’s ridiculous.”

He blanched, swallowing back the nausea. “What…”

Truth tumbled from your lips with a spite he’d never seen before—an anger that lay unresolved in your spirit. “It’s all bullshit. The whole romantic true love notion. It doesn’t exist.”

“Kitten–”

“No. You told me a long time ago that the whole true love soulmate shit isn’t real. And I tried to defend it—like really tried—but I think I’ve gotten tired of waiting for the knight in shining armor who doesn’t exist.”

Swallowing thickly, he shut out the piece of his heart perilously close to breaking off. “How do you know he doesn’t exist?” he croaked.

“Because he would have found me by now.” With a weary sigh, you shrugged. “Or maybe he does exist and just doesn’t want me.”

I want you. I want you till the end of time. I want you in this life and the next and each one we wind up in together.

But like a coward…he stayed quiet. “Oh…”

The words damning love—striking it down with a whip of fury—sounded different coming out of your mouth. As if you believed their bitterness. Took it to heart with the vow to escape from the emotions he never knew how to control. Soulmates weren’t bullshit, true love wasn’t fake. He knew that now.

He’d known the second he met you.

If only the stupidity of youth hadn’t dragged him down to a place he could never return.

“It’s freezing Eddie.”

Jolting out of his flurry of thoughts, he watched your eyes wide and shining look at him with hope. A fleeting need that simmered at the base of his stomach. The alcohol was starting to wear off, the lingering effects of a morning doomed with the hangover flaring to life. He sucked in a breath, steadying himself with a needy rush that fortified itself in the back of his head.

Focusing on the sound of your voice became difficult when all he could hear was the pleas to kiss you. His own mind turning against the docile moments of silence meant to swallow his affections.

He was nearing his breaking point. That alone should have terrified him.

“C’mere.” Looping his arms around your back he tucked you into his jacket, his chin finding a spot against your head, hands pressed into the heavy coat that never seemed to be enough.

A perfect placement of two halves unsure of whether or not they fit together.

The puzzle would remain unfinished, disjointed. But that’s how you’d grown to love one another. Perfectly imperfect.

“They sell hot chocolate at a cafe near here.”

You perked up with a smile, chin resting on his chest. “Hot chocolate? With whipped cream?”

“What do I look like? An animal?” he scoffed. “‘Course they got whipped cream.”

“Lead the way Alden.”

Sunlight felt odd when coupled with the frozen air of his living room; a fresh blanket of snow coated his balcony—the tops of buildings layered in what you could only describe as a white winter. The picture perfect background to time spent in New York during the holidays. Only your time was quickly coming to a close, your last two days moving exponentially fast given who you were spending it with. Although you supposed the melancholy of leaving your best friend behind made it worse.

You didn’t want to go home. You didn’t want to spend the holidays in a town scattered with memories of Eddie when he wasn’t around to make new ones.

So you resigned yourself to his couch with a book, a scratchy throw blanket covering your legs and a flattened pillow set behind your back. Both should have made for a time of awful relaxation, but you’d never been more comfortable. Surrounded by Eddie’s scent in his home as he hummed a broken tune in his bedroom. The clack of his keyboard loud enough to drown out the traffic outside—the horn of cars and taxis drifting through the thin glass.

The contrast of the two worlds left you sinking a bit further on his couch, your eyes soaking in the words typed neatly on the page. A love story. Ironic given the conversation the two of you had last night—confusing yet filled with clarity as to what you really believed. What you were unsure of from the start. Yes you believed in love, no you didn’t think true love was about to happen upon you on a random night in the city.

You wondered if Eddie was referring to Louie. The man he couldn’t pull you away from fast enough. Perhaps he saw something in the stranger. A flash of darkness you were too blind to notice.

The game of romance felt brand new, the fear of taking all the wrong steps swelling in your chest the more you strived towards it. Having your heart broken was bound to happen given that you’d never experienced much in love. The past was littered with memories of Eddie, of time spent with him as the only man in your life—the one who should have taught you what to do.

But now you were wading into open waters, desperate to see what lay on that small island of love, the hope in your heart diminishing the more your body ached from swimming.

Louie was nice. You liked him.

That had to be enough.

She cupped his face, lips searching for plush lips and whispers of the next day. The night echoed with the beat of their hearts, a tangled intermingling of souls who searched eternity for the prospect of forever. He kissed her with a husk filled groan, fingers gripping the base of her neck and cock sliding through dripping folds—

“Story must be pretty good to have your nose so far into it.”

You jerked back, eyes wide as Eddie’s broad form filled your eye level. “W-what?”

The sly raise of his eyebrow went unnoticed by your racing mind. “I asked if it was a good story.”

“Oh–” You shut the book on your finger, coughing subtly as your thighs pressed together. “Yeah. Great story.”

The original plan to visit his work was overshadowed by the hangover blinding the both of you into submission. Painkillers were your savior and cheap coffees bought down the street were your resolute salvation. It took two hours of laying in bed as Eddie moaned and grumbled down the hall on the phone in an attempt to snag yet another sick day. Eventually you dragged yourself out to the freezing cold kitchen, wincing as bare skin touched cement and effectively turned to ice.

That was an hour ago. Enough time for you to find the strength to focus your eyes on pages lined with lascivious and vulgar acts that made your heart race. It was a standard bodice ripper, picked up at the airport as a hopeful distraction on the journey here. Only to find that you actually enjoyed the story.

“Wanna tell me what it’s about?”

Heat prickled beneath the cold skin of your cheeks—his gaze unwavering and perceptive. “A love story.”

“Love story,” he mumbled.

“Standard romance. Man likes woman, proceeds to try and woo woman…stuff like that.”

“Ah.” A hand ripped the paperback from your grip quicker than you anticipated, his eyes devouring the page you marked as you sprang to your feet.

“Eddie!”

“He kissed her with a husk filled groan, fingers gripping the base of her neck and cock sliding through dripping folds…” A ruddy scarlet flush bloomed across his face, traveling rapidly to the tips of his ears—his eyes wide and lips parted.

Spit was smeared across crimson lips, his fingers finding a home on her waiting tongue—body curving over her pliant form with a moan. She was spread beneath him, eyes shining in anticipation, a cry tearing from the base of her elongated throat at the first thrust into her drooling cunt.

Eddie couldn’t tell if he was breathing or not.

“You fucker!” you shouted, yanking the novel back with a sneer. “You don’t have to know everything.”

The sharp edge of your words spilled out onto deafened ears as he regarded you with dark eyes, teeth digging into his bottom lip hard enough to split it open. His cock twitched in his sweatpants, leaking into the boxers he knew he’d have to wash the second your attention was elsewhere.

It’s not that he had no self control—he did. Eddie prided himself on his restraint knowing how many times he could have kissed you, how many nights he watched you sleep and held back from caressing your cheek.

All his life he spent every fucking day keeping himself from begging you to take him, to break and ruin him beyond repair.

But at this very moment he felt another strand of the rope around his throat snap; the invasive feral need to have you—ravish you—pounded through his body. It screamed with intent. Clawed at his mind as images of you trapped in that same scenario began to shove their way to the forefront. You in his bed, lips forming around the letters of his name, the comfortable clothes you wore in a heap on the floor.

You taking his cock like the good fucking girl he knew you were.

The nice sweetheart he belonged to.

“We’re going out,” he said abruptly, biting harshly on the inside of his cheek. The sticky wet sensation in his sweatpants felt unbearable when you were here, his body aching to just let you touch him—to drop to his knees and let you have your way.

Except that felt too forward; that would scare you.

“Where?” you demanded, eyes narrowed at his blank face.

“Lunch.” His tongue swiped along the bitten and swollen bottom lip. “I’m starving.”

The audible click of your swallow seared into the back of his head, gratification pouring out into the open at the thought that you reacted to him. That your now flustered expression was due to him. He swiveled on his heel, bee lining for the bathroom as you stood in shock. Your heart thumping a rapid and unknown beat that spread down between the thigh clench of your thighs. You wanted to hear him rasp those words again. His eyes shadowed by the aching need of a man who hadn’t been laid in days.

Even if you could tell the book was the only thing to rile him up. That look alone would plague your dreams for months on end—your fingers working tirelessly to give you just enough.

You didn’t hear the thump of Eddie’s forehead hit the shower wall—his body humming with anticipation. Nor did you hear the gruff biting moan that bounced off tile, soon drowned out by water the second his hand wrapped around his already leaking and blushing cock. What control he clamped onto flew out of his body at the first pump of his fist, a wet grunt tumbling out of parted lips slick with his spit.

The last time he got off this fast reared in his mind. You prancing up and down a beach in a bikini, tits bouncing and the fat of your thighs rippling with each dash into the water. He came in his hand quick enough to make him go blind, his head fuzzy with the high of imagining you on your knees. Mouth parted to swallow his spend with soft breathy moans.

“Fuck,” he spit, thumb pressing beneath the head of his throbbing length.

Embarrassment should have washed over him by now—that twinge of shame tugging at his gut. But your flustered expression stamped itself behind his shut eyelids, desperation his base state in the confines of the small shower. For a brief second you wanted him. You yearned for him to keep going.

A stuttered moan ricocheted off the walls. No doubt loud enough to spill into the kitchen, but Eddie couldn’t fucking care. He was climbing towards a searing release, his body curling forward and hand pressed against the cold wall. The tremble of his thighs was the telltale sign that it would be over soon, but something shifted. Suddenly he wasn’t just thinking about you on the floor sucking him off to a quick conclusion.

Now he pictured you in the bedroom, bent over his kitchen counter as coffee brewed, on the floor of the living room strewn across a heap of blankets. He imagined you writhing in ecstasy with his name on your lips—your back bowed and head tipped as a cry wrenched from your throat. How his cock would slide into you with ease, slick pouring out to make a filthy mess between your sweaty bodies. He’d have you any way you wanted, but this he took for himself.

His imagination was his only solace in a life spent parted from you.

The stutter of your name ripped from his lips with a whine, the slap of his hand bouncing off the walls as he came with a hiss. Spilling over pale knuckles and washing down the drain with a sigh.

Pathetic wasn’t the word to describe how he felt the second he wrapped the towel around his waist, water dripping across the floor as he wiped down the fogged up mirror. He was the mud beneath a soldier's boots. The grime stuck to old cars left to rot in junkyards. Eddie had turned into a whimpering mess of a man at the mere thought of having you—yet he never tried to make that dream a reality.

“Nice going Alden,” he muttered, glaring at his flushed cheeks. “Fuckin’ up one day at a time huh.”

Jumping at the soft knock on the locked door, he felt his heart flutter at the lilt of your voice. Truly he was losing it—a hopeless case with no chance of being salvaged.

“Can I get in there Eddie?”

His teeth dug into his bottom lip, eyes rolling back at the violent twitch of his still sensitive cock. “Y-Yeah. ‘M done here.”

Wrenching the door open seemed to be a mistake given how close you were. Stumbling forward, your hand found purchase on his wet naked chest to steady yourself—the gasp filling his ears soft and high and everything he imagined. Your eyes dropped to the towel that hung low on his waist, the trail of hair leading beneath it, water dripping along the vein you’d seen before. Somehow up close it felt like more, like an invasion of privacy.

It startled you how much you craved to trace the shape of it with your tongue.

Heat flooded your face, hand falling to your side as he smirked, his arm propped against the door frame beside his head. “Take a picture kitten. You can frame it.”

Your face fell. “You’d like that wouldn’t you? Getting to stare at yourself all day.”

“I wouldn’t not like it. Pretty sure I’ve got a camera around here somewhere.”

Shoving him to the side with a groan you set the small toiletries bag on the sink’s edge. “Maybe later. I’ve got to get ready.”

“We’re just going to lunch Kit.”

“Oh I know,” you replied. “But I’ve got a date tonight.”

There were times in his life Eddie wondered what torture felt like. A strange odd thought at the early age of twenty whilst watching a shitty action movie. But there standing two feet from the love of his life, he finally understood.

His heart dropped—stomach churning hard enough for a wave of bile to claw up his throat. He felt surprised he was still up on two feet, his mind reeling with the information you handed over with an air of joy. As if you couldn’t be more excited. Nails dug into his palm as he formed fists tight enough to hurt—the need to slam them into something (or someone) growing by the second.

You were going on a date.

A date.

With a man.

With someone that…wasn’t him.

“Who’s the lucky bastard?” he croaked, anger flaring in his tightening chest.

“Louie,” you said with a bashful smile, eyes bright and beautiful.

Eddie felt the knife slice through his chest, digging beneath the depths of where he could reach. Yet you still smiled without a care in the world. You couldn’t see him bleed before you, could barely notice the wound you inflicted, and he would never blame you for it. Because you were happy. You were overjoyed.

How could he rip that from you?

But even as the question crossed his mind he knew…he’d do it anyway.

The dress cinched your waist tight enough to expel the air from your lungs. Uncomfortable. Irritating. But flawlessly perfect with its velvet fabric that wrapped around you like a second skin—the maroon shade dark enough to match your lipstick. Within two hours you’d be desperate for it off, aching for the large t-shirt swiped from Eddie’s drawer and sweatpants that held enough coffee stains to change their color entirely.

You weren’t used to dressing up, primping and prepping for someone who may never tell you the words that lingered in the back of your mind. The heels dug into the back of your foot, black and awkward and everything you tried to avoid. You rooted around the bottom of your worn makeup bag, the mascara tube scratched and smudged. Even as you swiped it across your lashes you felt the burden of tonight settle heavy and palpable.

A guilt that stemmed from the very person outside this bathroom.

The man who built your idea of romance over the years—the knight in shining armor who might never come to your rescue.

Fidgeting with the hem of your dress, a silhouette cast in shadows appeared in your peripheral. Statuesque and hopeful with his arms crossed and spine stiff. You could feel the discomfort swirl in the air as he peeked his head around the corner for a small glimpse of what you were doing. At this point you couldn’t blame him. An hour and a half was definitely too long to spend in the bathroom.

“I can see you standing there,” you called, fixing the strap on your shoulder with a sigh. “If you needed the bathroom you could have told me.”

Heels clicked on the cement floor and the whisper of you sliding the zipper shut on your bag echoed in the relatively quiet living room. You passed him with a grin, tossing the essentials on the guest bed beside your coat. The color didn’t go with the dress—a disappointment you had no time to rectify—and borrowing one of Eddie's jackets would only send the wrong message.

The thump of his boots trailing behind you filled the space with a solemn farewell he had yet to bid you. He bit his tongue longer than you expected him to. No jesting or teasing. No jokes or shots taken on your behalf. For all intensive purposes Eddie Alden was suddenly at a loss for words—his blank expression and dark eyes throwing you for a loop that felt precarious.

He’d never done this; his mouth always moving faster than his own thoughts. A trait that got him into a fair bit of trouble back home. It’s what you had in common, what you were both known for.

Tonight however your playful Eddie was replaced by a man who watched you in complete and utter silence. A hawk trailing its prey. Which only made the hair stand on the back of your neck.

“For fucks sake,” you muttered, spinning to find him leaning against the door frame. The scrutinizing eyes you were unable to escape trailing down your velvet clad form. “Out with it you bastard.”

“Kit–”

“No. You’ve been tailing me all night since you heard about this date. So let it out, get all the jokes and sly comments out now before I leave. Because after tonight I’m not giving you the chance.”

With a heaving chest and wild eyes, you watched in utter shock as Eddie Alden…cracked a smile.

A fucking grin that stretched from one side of his face to the other. You should have felt peeved by the sheer nerve for him to pick at your temper this way, but the slow steps as he walked closer left your tongue stuck to the roof of your mouth. Warmth found a home in the base of your already thumping heart—your hands picking at the hem of your dress to distract from his slow gait. 

He looked you up and down, sizing up your body with a soft chuckle, before knocking the tips of his boots to the front of your heels.

“You look beautiful tonight kitten.”

Breath felt nonexistent in a space as small as this. You searched for it, clamored for even a morsel of oxygen, but found yourself standing there—mouth parted and eyes wide—with empty hands.

Beautiful.

Eddie called you beautiful.

How could you respond to something so shifting? Life altering, world teetering. You hadn’t felt this hopeless for something to say since he dragged you to prom kicking and screaming with a tux wrapped around his body and a gown around yours. Where you might have laughed—called him out on whatever bullshit he would pull any other night—you instead were left with absolutely nothing in your arsenal of spiteful vernacular.

And he seemed to be thrilled with the speechless flustered woman before him.

“Cat got your tongue sweetheart?”

Sweetheart.

Heat burned right down to your core, the strength in your knees suddenly weak and brittle. As if you didn’t know how to stand on your own.

“W-What?” you managed to choke out, unable to rip your gaze away from his glowing face.

“No response for my compliment?”

“Oh…um…”

He shuffled forward, knocking you back slightly. “I mean I was pretty nice and even if it is the truth don’t I deserve something nice back?”

Sucking in a breath, you felt the edge of the bed hit the back of your thigh. “Nice?”

“Yeah,” he murmured. “I am your best friend after all.”

Best friend.

Cold water drenched the top of your head, pouring an icy reality check down your spine with enough sense to wrench you out of whatever twisted fantasy your mind was conjuring. He was fucking with you. Pulling this move on purpose to keep you from making it to your date on time. It should have irked you—should have sent you into a state of fury—yet you couldn’t help but wonder if something else was hidden beneath his saccharine words.

You scoffed, shoving at his chest and drank in the satisfaction when he stumbled back with a gaping mouth. “I’m gonna be late.”

“Wait but–” The echo of his footsteps rushing after yours resonated off the window panes. “I’ve got something to say to you.”

“Can’t it wait until later? I don’t want to keep him waiting.”

An audible snort reignited the flare of irritation in your chest. “Who? The joke of a guy from last night? You barely know him and don’t forget you came to New York to see me not to–”

Whirling around you met him with pent up emotions that began to spill over an already full cup. “Not to what? Not to have a good time on my terms? Not to go out with a man I actually like?”

“You don’t know him!”

“But that’s not your decision!” Biting down on the inside of your cheek, you swallowed the wave of hot tears that rushed to the surface. “You always do this to me Eddie. You drag me along in your adventures and yes I go willingly, but you never—not once—allowed me an adventure of my own. Why? Why can’t I choose for once in my life?”

Somehow the silence hurt more than anything he could have said. Any excuse he might have offered as a shitty apology that would never come. He simply stood there, unable to form a decent string of false promises he’d never live up to. And for the first time you welcomed that unnerving sense of clarity with a bitter wave of your hand.

No matter how much you yearned for it to be true, the reality would always remain the same.

Eddie Alden would never love you.

Not in the way you loved him. He’d never feel each piece of his heart fracture as you slowly and yet all at once slipped from his grasp. That was the truth and you accepted it with a resigned sigh of utter heartbreak.

“Stay,” he finally admitted, eyes shining with tears that would eventually dry up and vanish. “With me.”

“Eddie–”

“Stay here and we’ll talk about this. And I’ll order a pizza with jalapeños and make you shitty coffee and let you hit me and yell at me.” Moving swift enough to throw you off guard, he gathered your hands in his. “I’ll do whatever you want me to do to make this right.”

You wished it were enough.

You begged it to be enough.

But you’d taken too many hits from a love life that suddenly felt fictional in comparison to what he offered you tonight.

Pulling away with a sigh, you didn’t see his expression of false joy crack right down the center. “I’ve got to go Eddie.”

“But–”

“Don’t wait up, okay?”

The door shut with a thud that bounced off each wall, settling unevenly against his hammering heart. He felt sick to his stomach. The grief of losing you—of quite possibly fucking up the only good thing in his life—rushed to the surface. Clawing up his already burning esophagus with a hostility that consumed him. His mind screamed to run towards the open door of the bathroom; his body wholeheartedly agreed with the sentiment.

But his feet remained glued to the floor. Eyes trained on his now shut door simply waiting for you to come back. To waltz in with a different opinion, to rehash an argument that festered in both your minds for far too long.

He could hear his own heartbeat and the rush of blood in his ears.

He could hear the horns blaring and people shouting as the city took on a new persona as night came calling.

He could hear every breath he took in, every stunted exhale he let out.

But you were nowhere to be found.

The leather jacket was gripped in his hand before he could think it through, keys shoved into his pocket without realizing it. He acted on fear. The terrifying knowledge that this was it. That the moment he’d been waiting for all his life passed by and he fucking blew it. He watched it crash to the floor and made no attempt to save would could have been.

This love was written in the stars long before you met one another. The makeup of your hearts were carved directly into the makeup of the universe, forged by celestial beings and stray comets colliding together. You were more than best friends, more than soul mates. You were split down the center, always meant to find your other half in the touch of one another. If only he could make you see that.

Heavy footfalls echoed off the stairwell as he rushed out onto the busy street and into the icy cold. This wasn’t Eddie Alden the adult fuck up rushing after yet another notch in his belt. This was the boy who held you when you cried. The teenager who walked you home after classes. The high schooler who dragged you to parties you never wanted to go to. The football player who sprinted directly to you when they won each and every time.

The man whose heart was etched in the letters of your name.

Bundling the coat around your neck tight enough to stop the chill from seeping into your skin, you dashed into the open entryway of the restaurant Louie talked about last night. A fancy space filled to the brim with sparkling holiday decor, a tree that towered over you, and waiters dressed fancier than the patrons. You felt out of place the second you crossed the threshold. A fish out of water and dropped into waters that didn’t belong to you.

It shouldn’t have deterred you. A man wishing to take you somewhere magnificent on a first date; something you hoped might happen one day.

“You’re here!”

Louie Parker seemed to blend right into the glamour and opulence in a three piece suit—a golden chain dangling from his waistcoat and wool overcoat folded over one arm. He belonged. A member of a society you may never find yourself in again, but for tonight you met his stunning smile with a sheepish grin and cheeks filled with blossoming warmth.

“Sorry for being late. I couldn’t find the place,” you said, choosing to ignore Eddie’s blatant act of annoyance.

He shrugged, leading you to a coat check stand as if this were second nature—perhaps to him it was. “You’re new to the city. Bound to get lost at times.”

“You’ve got no idea.”

“Our table is safe.” He tossed a grin over his shoulder—effortless enough to throw you off balance. “I ordered a bottle of wine beforehand. Something decadent.”

“Wine’s good.” The words slipped off your tongue awkwardly as you handed off the coat with a soft thank you.

“I promise it is.” How his eyes trailed along the shape of your dress wasn’t lost on you, nor was the shift of his shoulders in his attempt to stand taller. “You’re stunning.”

The word should have made your heart flutter. It should have elicited the exact same response Eddie’s softly spoken beautiful did. Yet all you could offer him was a tight smile layered in a false air of hope diminished and dashed long before you entered this place.

He wasn’t Eddie. He’d never be Eddie. And you loathed that all it took was that simple fact for your heart to grow disinterested before the night truly began.

“I didn’t think I’d get to wear it on this trip,” you admitted, speaking directly to his back as you trailed after him to the table.

He spared you a glance and yet another smile. “I’m glad you did.”

“For your benefit or mine?” The tease felt wrong when directed at him. It felt like a lie.

“Mine I hope.”

Digging your teeth into your bottom lip to swallow the grimace, you shifted in the seat. “Guess you’re lucky.”

“I’m luckier than most.” His words were punctuated with a hand gesturing to the nearest waiter. “I think we’re ready.”

Floundering, you dug through the menu as Louie tossed his already thought out order into the air. There didn’t seem to be any reason for rushing, but there you were. Forced to quickly choose a meal before you even settled fully into your seat. The waiter glanced at you, eyes flashing with a look you’d seen before. A piteous apology he couldn’t say out loud.

You were stuck with a man who couldn’t see how out of place you felt. Someone who didn’t know how to read your pages.

“And for you miss?”

“Um…I’ll take–”

“She’ll have the same. Steak medium rare with an extra glass for champagne at the end.”

With that he signed off on what you were denying the whole way here. You weren’t meant to be sitting here with a man more interested in showing you off than asking what you wanted. But silence was all you could muster, swallowing the bitter wine with a hidden choked sneer of disgust. You longed for jalapeños on pizza and shitty beer and the promise of a good movie on Eddie’s horrible couch.

Oh how you’d rather be holed up in that apartment.

“So do you work?” he asked offhandedly, pouring another glass of wine for you.

“I do,” you replied, nails digging into your palm to stave off snarling at him with a rudeness Eddie would have enjoyed.

“Good. I prefer women who work.”

The meal dragged on the longer he spoke, barely giving you a chance to respond before he started up again. Topics you could barely keep up with, statements that felt one sided and drastically different than what you believed. Until finally you were halfway through chewing with a steak that cost more than your plane ticket and Louie directed his questions to you.

A surprising turn of events given his track record through the whole evening. You were annoyed, the dress dug into your waist, and the heels felt restricting even as you sat still and silent. A doll primed to perfection for a place that would have otherwise tossed you out.

“So you’re in New York with your friend?”

Swallowing the food with a sip of warm water, you nodded. “Yeah my best friend Eddie.”

Louie hummed. “Your best friend is a guy?”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“Did you two ever date?”

The itch to toss the remainder of your wine in his face grew by the second. “No we haven’t. We’re just friends.”

Another soft hum left his throat—another strike on your tally of shitty responses. “I just wanted to make sure. Don’t want to enter a state of drama in case things went further between us.”

“Further…”

“I have tickets to The Nutcracker in three days.” His hand slid across the table, laying over yours with a warmth that felt wrong. “I was hoping you would go with me.”

“Oh…”

“You could wear this dress again if you want.”

“Louie…”

His grip tightened, smile widening at your hesitancy. “You’ll be the prettiest guest there.”

“I’m not sure…” A flash of a man bursting through the doors caught your eye—a whirlwind of commotion that left you distracted for a moment.

Eddie’s face came into view, slightly red and distraught as the hostess attempted to grab his attention. He stood with his hair ruffled and clothes in disarray, eyes scanning the tables for someone. Until he landed on the one person who watched him with a flicker of need. The world melted away, Louie’s voice now a muffled echo in the background, as Eddie smiled wide enough to outdo all the shining lights in the room.

Any piece of decor paled in comparison when he looked at you as if nothing else of importance mattered. You were here, sitting in a red dress, and Eddie could feel hope surge in his chest.

Louie pulled you back to the present moment before you caught Eddie slipping past the front. Directing his way to the table and dragging a spare chair behind him he set it up at the edge of your table, plopping into the seat with a grin—shedding his jacket with ease. Like he’d been invited all along. You were irritated, angry about the stupid fight from earlier, but a small piece of you that longed to be rescued now rejoiced at his presence.

“Can I help you man?” Louie demanded, fingers tight around your wrist.

“No,” Eddie replied. “Just came to get some extra time with my best friend.”

Louie scoffed. “Alright come on, you can give her one night out without you clinging to her.”

“Am I clinging?” Eddie turned to you with a deep faux frown. “Kitten, you'd tell me if you needed space right?”

“Do us a favor and fuck off,” Louie snapped.

You flinched, pulling away the second his attention was off you. Unfortunately Eddie caught onto it with a grim expression and fists curled against his thighs. Always the protector, the dog with a fucking bone. Some days you relished in his nature to keep you safe, to snarl and bite at anyone who dared to pick on his favorite person. But tonight his otherwise cherished nature suffocated you where you sat.

He drowned you in the waters of his familial love as romance slipped between your fingers like sand.

“I’d watch your fucking tone,” Eddie warned, turning his glare to your date. “There’s a lady present.”

A biting laugh echoed in the still air—Louie finally reaching past the limit of tolerance. “She told me you guys didn’t date, but of course she fucking lied.”

“No I didn’t–” You gaped, sitting upright at his accusatory tone.

“You don’t have to lie for him sweetheart.”

Anger burned hot and painful in your chest, growing the longer you sat there stuffed between two men who couldn’t give a shit if you were hurting. With a sharp intake of breath, you snatched your purse off the floor and headed towards the coat check—leaving them behind to gather some sort of fresh air. Even as Eddie no doubt followed with blatant intent in every step he took.

You couldn’t take this anymore. The push and pull of a best friend who would never let you go. He’d never allow you to find a life that didn’t include him.

He’d never let you move on.

Tears spilled over before you could stop them, your fingers shaking as you tied the coat at your waist. The cold air filled with the stench of gasoline and nicotine became what you latched onto. A way to drag yourself back to the shore; a chance to survive Eddie’s dark waters before you were swallowed whole by them. He called your name while you walked, rushing to catch up with your quick pace—the heels doing nothing but slowing you down.

“Kitten wait!”

The familiar touch of his hand on your arm set off the wave of fury desperate to topple over. You turned with a shout, ripping away from his hold with a curse loud enough to startle him back.

“You are unbelievable!”

“Kit–”

“Do me the favor and shut the fuck up for once! It was a date. A date! That’s it! I get that you can’t handle when the attention isn’t focused on you and when I’m pulled somewhere else, but you had no right to act like an asshole!”

Heaving in a gasping breath, you watched as his pained expression blurred with the wave of fresh tears. “I can’t do this Eddie. I can’t live half a life until you decide to finally give up on our friendship.”

“That’s not why I showed up–”

You laughed, bitter and loud enough to garner looks, but you were past the point of caring. “No? You didn’t show up to embarrass me? You didn’t fuck up the one chance I had at a romantic relationship because you weren’t included in the choice I made?”

“No I didn’t,” he retorted. “And even if I did, why don’t you just admit it? Huh? You weren’t having fun on this fucking date anyways.”

“Why because you said so?” you shouted.

“I know you better than anyone.”

“Oh that’s rich. Just because you’ve known me longer doesn’t make you the final hammer in the nail that is my life. Mine Eddie! My life! Not yours!” Throwing your hands up at the first advancing step in your direction, you turned away from the man who saved you with the intent on ripping you open for an autopsy you never asked for.

A surgery of your still beating heart.

“Let me explain myself, would you?” he called, chasing after you down the sidewalk. “But of course you won’t, because you always run. You’ve run away from me your whole life!”

“Fuck you Alden!”

Down city sidewalks and past groups of people having fun, Eddie followed you every step of the way. Though his words died down, the anger dropping to a slow simmer in your chest, he still remained behind you—his hands tucked into his jacket pockets and eyes trained on the slight wince of your body with each step. The heels were digging sharply into your already raw skin but you refused to give him the satisfaction of helping you.

Not when the apartment was so close. Mentally you formulated a list of things to get done before your flight in a day. Pack your bags, flip Eddie off, cuss him out until the sun came up, and leave him behind as you stewed in your heartache and fury.

He couldn’t fight his way back into your good graces today. Certainly not during this trip.

This didn’t come from nowhere—you were entirely aware of that fact. The anger that spewed out of every word dipped in vitriol and pain stemmed from the deepest parts of your pining heart that screamed for him. A piece of yourself you buried continuously over years of hope. Time that you might never get back. You loved him without end, begged silently on every star that he might one day feel the same way. Only to understand he was stuck in his old ways.

Merely a boy loitering around in the body of a man.

Someone who never found the time to grow up—to become the man you needed.

The stairwell echoed with your footsteps, a melancholy beat to a song that should have ended long ago. Your time was up. The clock had run its course. And all that remained was the final goodbye to a friendship that began to fall apart long before you came to New York.

“Please talk to me.” The soft lilt of his voice nearly made you jump as he shut the door behind him.

“I’m tired Eddie.”

“We’re not done with this.”

Pain felt familiar in this moment, a new push of rage finding its footing in your weary form. “Give it up would you?”

He gripped your arms, turning you with a bruising yank that shoved the breath from your lungs. “I’ll never give up on you Kit. Don’t you get that? Giving up stopped being an option the day I met you.”

“Why?” you yelled, shoving at his chest. “Why can’t you let me go? Why do you have to keep me in this fucked up pattern of friendship? Don’t you get that it hurts Eddie? It hurts to see you chase after women, it hurts to never get a chance to do the same with someone else!”

“Tell me why,” he begged. “Tell me why it hurts. Keep yelling at me. Keep calling me a fucking asshole. Just talk to me. Please.”

“No!” Finally free from his touch, you stumbled back into the counter—your face a mess of tears. “You are an asshole. You’re the reason I can’t move on with my life! You’re stuck in my veins and I can’t get rid of you! The most pathetic childish man who can’t seem to handle his best friend finally getting a life of her own. Well I’m sorry Eddie but things don’t revolve around you.”

What little breath you had dissipated as you heaved between choked sobs. You knew he would leave your life eventually. You knew he’d get bored with the friend he barely saw in person. But this felt like torture—an agony he refused to take accountability for.

“Why?” you sobbed brokenly. “Why do you want to hurt me so much? What did I do to make you so angry that I’m finally moving on?”

“I’m not angry.”

“Then let me go!” You wiped roughly at your cheeks, uncaring that he stepped close enough to touch you. “Why can’t you let me–”

“Because I love you!”

Gaping stupidly at him the words failed to process—silence swallowing you before you could even fight against it. “What?” you whispered.

Chilled hands cupped your cheeks tenderly, his forehead falling to rest on yours—cold nose pressed to your frozen one. “I can’t let you go cause I’m fucking in love with you kitten. I’m yours.”

“Eddie?”

“I’ve been yours since I pushed you in that damn mud.” His sigh was warm, washing across your face and filling you with the wake up call you needed. “Through everything, through all the games you came to and nights on my roof.”

Disbelief colored your world as you gazed up at him, fingers curling around his wrists. “You…love me?”

He nodded, leaning close enough for his lips to brush yours. “Desperately baby.”

“You love me,” you murmured, lashes fluttering as he tilted you closer.

“I do.” Sighing, he pinned you to the counter until you had nowhere to go—no escape from the man who longed to wrap himself around you. “Let me kiss you, yeah? Can I kiss you? I’ve been dreamin’ about it since high school.”

Since high school. Since…

At this point you couldn’t tell if you were standing in the midst of reality or if your mind started to play tricks on you. Even as he said the words they felt misplaced. A way to keep you there instead of explaining himself. But for once you finally divulged in the dream you’d been harboring since childhood. An extraordinary moment of romance—a bliss you might never get again.

Catching him off guard you leaned up and slotted your lips against his with a soft sigh. He met you with a sharp inhale, fingers digging into your jaw as he kissed you back with a fervor that threw you off guard. His lips were chapped with the cold yet warm enough to soothe every ache in your body. Each sliver of pain now a fading memory with the swipe of his tongue along your bottom lip.

You should have pulled away. You should have forced him to talk, to explain everything in great detail. But the feel of his hands sliding down your back knocked every ounce of sense from your mind as need took over the cognitive choice for your actions.

His tongue found yours with a hoarse moan, your fingers twining into his hair still mussed by the weather outside. A sharp tug had him careening forward, his hand slapping against the counter behind you—a wet groan swallowed by the soft whine wrenched from the base of your throat.

You never thought kissing him would feel so exhilarating. You were nothing but a sharp bundle of nerves ready to be set alight with each touch, each lick into your mouth.

“Eddie,” you gasped, his mouth finding purchase at the side of your neck. Teeth scraping the soft skin and hands digging into the plush flesh of your ass.

“Stay with me,” he begged, hips canting against yours as a dizzy side effect of kissing your best friend rose to the surface. “Let me love you.”

“But the argument–”

“Fuck the argument,” he growled, biting down on your bottom lip. “Let me not be an idiot anymore.”

Your lashes fluttered, mouth falling open with the soft touch of his tongue sliding against yours. A heady moan dripped onto his taste buds, needy and wanting as you gripped his hair hard enough to elicit a sharp slice of pain. His cock throbbed in his jeans, mind hazy with the taste of wine off your tongue, but Eddie could feel the hesitancy in your veins. The knowledge that his words left you unsure of his emotions—lost in the sea he dragged you into.

He loved you painfully.

With every fiber of his being that slowly ripped itself to pieces at the thought of you never knowing the truth. You needed to know his heart beat for you. That his entire body screamed in agony at the lack of your touch—the need of more ripping at his chest.

He was yours to do away with.

Yours to toy with.

Yours to love and cherish.

However you wished to have him, he’d do it. Eddie would fall to his knees with the prayer of your name on his lips—begging to drink from your crystalline waters with the parched tongue of a dying man. He was in agony until you looked at him. Offering your own love on a silver platter.

“Can I?” he whispered, holding your chin between his thumb and forefinger.

“Can you what?” you asked dazedly, lips swollen and slick with saliva. The sight made him voracious for more. For the sight of you coated in his spit.

He grinned, stealing another kiss with a whimpered sigh. “Can I love you how you deserve baby?”

The nod was subtle, a slight shifting of your head as glazed eyes darkened by lust met his searing gaze. But it was all he needed for his lips to find yours again, hands leading you into a stumbling walk to the guest bedroom lined with your things. He dug for the zipper of your dress, tugging it down quickly as you wrapped your arms around his neck—intent on keeping his mouth on yours.

A soft breathy moan emanated from your parted lips when his bare hands touched the skin of your back, sliding the velvet fabric off your body until it pooled in a heap at your feet. Nerves leapt beneath layers of hot flushed skin, your heart a ramming echo in the silence of a room filled only with his breaths.

But you heard him loud and clear.

The soft uttered fuck of a man who acted like he just witnessed a religious miracle. He was doomed the second your eyes finally opened to find his gaze. Pupils dilated and mouth open as he drank in the sight of you.

“You’re…” Sucking in a breath, he slid a hand over your stomach up to where the lace of your bra connected in the center with a jeweled bow. “Perfect.”

Rucking up his t-shirt, you let him kiss the breath out of your lungs. You fell into his hold with ease, because this was your path. Life led you straight to him, holding your hand through the heartache, promising you love at the end of it all. You just never expected his love would burn this way—a needy ache that built and built until you were ready to detonate. A hand curled around your thigh, hitching it over his thigh as he dropped you to the mattress.

His shirt beside your dress and jeans unbuttoned as they hung off his hips. With a shuddered breath you traced the vein along his stomach, smiling at the way his muscles contracted. A shudder running down his spine. He gasped, tongue sliding between your breasts—teeth nipping at the flesh with a growl.

“Wanna taste you.” Grinding his hips down hard enough for his cock to catch on the wet spot of your black cotton panties, he grinned at the soft cry that echoed by his ear.

Dragging him back up with a fist in his hair, you licked along his back teeth—hooking your other leg over his hip. “You already have baby.”

“Oh fuck,” he gasped.

Baby.

You’d never said that before, your voice pitched high and hazy with a hunger that curled at the base of his spine. Devouring you the way he wanted might be too much for you to handle.

He certainly didn’t want to scare you. Not when he’d been dreaming of this moment since his adolescence. But the thought of pounding you into the mattress, your melodious cries bouncing off the walls and the wet squelch of your pussy drove him to the brink of insanity.

“Say it again.” His teeth latched onto your nipple through the lace, sucking with a groan.

“Baby–” The pad of his fingers slid through the slick mess over the soft fabric, circling your clit hard. “Eddie!”

He smiled. “Want to taste you the right way.”

That unfamiliar high began to pull at your insides, spilling into veins and latching onto the base of your spine. He pulled the soaking scrap of cotton to the side, his thumb finding the source of absolute bliss and toying with it mercilessly. As if he wanted you unable to form coherent sentences. Your legs shook, hips meeting the gentle touch of his fingers.

“Look at her.”

The haze in your mind muffled the sound of his voice—his words taking a second to fully register. Until you realized who he was talking about. Or rather what.

“Gorgeous fuckin’ girl,” he muttered, transfixed by the drooling slick that clung to the lips of your cunt. Smearing it down to your fluttering hole, he felt the familiar wash of starvation creep back in.

He licked his teeth like a wild animal, panting at the sight of you so spread open and vulnerable. Your bottom lip was sucked into your mouth to muffle the wanting cries that slipped free anyways. Fuck what he wouldn’t give to keep you here past the point of no return.

“Want you to—ah—” Teeth found the inside of your thigh as his finger slipped in with ease. “Fuck. Y-Yes.”

“Yeah?” Another pressed in tight, his palm sticky as he plunged them in a quick paced rhythm.

Pitched high and cresting at the top of your lungs, his name rang through the room, the hot slide of his tongue through your folds pulsing heat between spaces in your body you didn’t know could exist. He sucked at your clit with a moan, nose buried in your mound and eyes bleary with an overwhelming need. The taste of you drove him feral, the squelch of his fingers as they found that patch along your walls loud enough to drown out anything else.

Eddie knew he’d never get enough once he got a taste. He just never expected it to feel this consuming.

“I’m fuck–” Gripping his hair, you dragged yourself along his tongue, biting back a cry of his name. He fell into it—drowned in your cunt with a hoarse moan. “G-Gonna. Eddie–”

“Please,” he mumbled, sucking at your clit with a sloppy languid kiss. “C’mon give it to me.”

“Wait,” you rushed out. He stilled at your touch, fingers still buried knuckle deep while you dragged the words to the forefront of your mind. “I need…”

Kissing your thigh softly, he nuzzled the skin with a satisfied sigh. “What do you need baby?”

“You.”

“You’ve got me.”

“Up here.” If your mind was in the right state you might have winced at how pathetic you sounded. But Eddie leapt at the softly whispered request, crawling up your body with the drag of his lips against skin—his tongue following, tasting the salt of your sweat.

Finding your mouth with a hum, he let you explore the tang of yourself off his tongue. That burning flame roaring to life at the sight of his chin coated in you. His hazel eyes were swallowed by the darkened pupil. The only time you’d seen him this way was after football games when the adrenaline was high and you were intent on celebrating in shitty burger shops. Which later turned into hole in the wall bars.

He ate your body and soul with one look. A man who lost all sense the second you kissed him in the kitchen. Even if you were still unsure of the verity of his words.

“I want you to fuck me,” you breathed against his lips, hoping the sultry echo of your voice was strung with each syllable.

Eddie fell over your with a harsh groan, fisting the sheets as he buried his head in the crook of your neck. “You—fuck baby.”

“Did I say something wrong?”

“Wrong?” he chuckled. The flicker of distress clouded your mind, a different kind of sensation pulsing in at the top of your chest. But Eddie caught it before you could open your mouth, his tongue sliding into your mouth with a zeal that shocked you.

This kiss was different. No reverence bled through the sharp bite of his teeth against your lip. This was Eddie pouring gasoline on your shame and burning it with the flick of a match. He sucked the breath out of your mouth, replacing it with his own until you were sure you’d never breathe right again. Pulling away, you felt him chase after your lips with a hoarse growl—his body settling over yours before you could move.

“You can’t say shit like that to me,” he gasped.

“But I thought–”

A bruising grip around your wrist cut off the meek response—the coarse hair at the base of his stomach filling your mouth with saliva. He guided your hand beneath the elastic of the black boxers, the hot sticky head of his cock brushing your palm. Your eyes went wide, mouth falling open as he moaned loud enough to echo towards the kitchen—his brows furrowed and teeth bared.

“Oh…”

He grinned, letting you touch him gently, the soft pads of your hesitant fingers enough to stimulate him close to the edge. “Gonna make me cum in my pants like a fuckin’ teenager.”

Stroking him slowly, you watched with a prideful sense of exhilaration when he crumbled to pieces before your very eyes.

He hissed through his clenched teeth, fucking your clumsy version of a tight fist. Although that didn’t seem to matter to him. All he gave a shit about was that you were the one touching him. You were getting him off with dewy wide eyes and a mouth he dreamed of having around his throbbing cock.

“Shit,” he grunted, leaking over your skin at the soft gasp you uttered. “W-Wait. Hang on.”

Ripping himself free, he sucked in a breath with eyes squeezed shut and body stiff as a board. Somehow his experience didn’t seem to matter when it came down to you. All the years building his stamina vanished at the first pump of your hand, and Eddie held back his quickly rising orgasm by the skin of his fucking teeth.

Trembling above you, he managed to right himself enough to keep going. That still didn’t stop his cock from twitching at the sight of your parted lips—gaze burning into the side of his face.

“You’re dangerous kitten,” he finally said, pushing his jeans down and tugging at your panties before you could offer a response. “I want that off too.”

You nodded, undoing your bra quickly and failing to notice how his eyes immediately dropped to your breasts finally exposed. Eddie was dumbfounded. Mouth open as spit pooled on his tongue and eyes glazed over with the sight of you naked beneath him. You smiled at the blush that crept over his cheeks, spreading down to the top of his chest—his fingers digging harshly into the thin sheet he’d tear eventually.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered, swallowing thickly at how your chest bounced with each shift of your body.

The wet heat of his mouth on your nipple surprised you, his hand twisting and tugging the other. Your back arched, nails clawing at his back but that’s not what dragged out another side of you—unmistakable in the flutter of your heart. A part of yourself that buried itself beneath years of pain. It burst forward, snatching what he gave you with a greed you swallowed happily.

His cock sliding through your slick had your head tipping back, hips shifting to catch any pressure on your pulsing clit. Eddie seemed to understand long before you could wrench the words out of your chest. The pad of his thumb found the bud, his mouth a hot cavern against the skin of your breast—other hand shifting to line himself up where you needed him most.

Reality dawn on you then.

The weight of this moment. A dream you held for near a decade.

Cupping his face, he fixed you with the heady glaze of lust that mirrored your own. That untenable feeling flowing from your chest to his—a permanent mark of forever you finally managed to unearth. He sunk in slowly with shallow thrusts and caught your lips in a kiss you felt down to your toes. Love, heartbreak, longing, it all collided at the back of your mind. Shining with a glow that left you breathless.

Doubt begged to rear its ugly head, but Eddie demolished it with a final short thrust—his hips settling atop yours. Sex wasn’t unknown to you. Merely a quick itch to scratch in your years of loneliness. But you’d never experienced being so full.

“That’s it,” he murmured softly, circling your clit to loosen your tight walls. “Let her open up for me.”

“Move,” you gulped. “Need you to–”

Pulling out he shoved his way back in with a harsh bitten out curse against the skin of your throat. The pleasure blinded you. Each thrust short and wet enough to echo in the room. He gripped your hips as he moved, slowly and then all at once. As if he couldn’t fathom the thought of sliding out of you completely—the heat of your cunt drawing him back in before he knew what was happening.

Eddie lost himself in you. He groaned and sunk his teeth into your shoulder and fucked you the best he could. And you cried against his neck, clinging to his back with each roll of his hips into yours. Something wound tight in your stomach, that oh so familiar sensation of bliss and you chased it. You spread your legs wider, your nails digging into his lower back, as the head of his cock brushed right where you needed.

The high whine he ripped from you had his head flying up from your neck—eyes glimmering with a wild haze that should have scared you.

“There it is,” he grinned—grinding down until you sobbed his name. “She’s singin’ for me, kitten.”

Sobbing a string of incoherent pleas, you felt him do it again. Slamming into it with an accuracy that shook you to your core. Come morning an array of red lines would be marked across his back, but the rasping shout of your name told you he liked it.

He soaked in the sharp pricks of pain as his balls began to draw up, heat building on his spine with insistence. But he was greedy and wanton and the thought of you never finishing first drove him off the edge.

Fucking down into you, he witnessed your face crumple with the intensity of it all. Your mouth permanently formed around the broken cry of his now incoherent name. Skin slapped against skin, the wet echo of your cunt sucking him back in spilled into every crevice of his apartment. And Eddie felt himself nearly fly off that tantalizing edge.

“Need you to cum right now,” he snarled, slapping your clit softly.

The air caught in your lungs, thighs trembling as he did it again, splashing your wet slick along his stomach. Yet no matter how hard you reached for that high you couldn’t grasp it in your hands. You longed to tell him—shout what you needed, but the words were lost to your dizzying state of ecstasy.

His lips sealed over yours, fingers pinching your clit. “I love you kitten. Fuck. I love you.”

Your back arched, walls clamping around his cock tight enough to hurt, as you came with a broken sob he swallowed. It poured through you like lava. Burning you alive with a mind numbing bliss you’d never be able to live without—an addiction settling into your veins. He panted into your mouth, crying out like he’d been scorched with the same fire, and followed you off that cliff.

The hum in your ears set in before you could hear the string of mumbled I love you’s he pressed against your tongue, his cum dribbling out and making a mess you could feel between your thighs.

He collapsed with a grunt, face burrowed into your neck as you tried to catch your breath. The thump of your heart finally in sync with his. Sparks trailed down your body where he touched you, fingers kneading soft skin, lips sliding up your throat with the last licks of his hunger. A man starved for the love of his life. He was helpless in your post coital presence, unable to even think straight while his cock softened inside you.

But he knew this would happen. He knew he’d never be able to let you go after this—forever attached to your heart with an invisible string now wound into a knot.

“Stay here with me,” he whispered against your lips.

Stay.

Even with the thick fog that filled your head you couldn’t deny that was what you truly wanted. This was the forever you always longed for. So why couldn’t you accept it without a hint of doubt? Why couldn’t your own mind settle on the words he spoke like a prayer. Something you always dreamed he’d whisper to you in the middle of the night.

You blinked up at him, brows furrowed until he kissed them with a grin. “Okay,” you said, hoping it would click the final piece into place.

The tears are what woke you up. A flood you couldn’t control, wave after wave that poured down your cheeks and stained the pillow beneath you. Though the dream remained a translucent memory right on the fringes of your mind, you knew what it was. A rendition your mind never seemed to let go of.

Eddie saying goodbye on his way to New York. Eddie making the choice of a different life.

Eddie leaving you behind.

His snores filled the room with a gentle echo you sunk into, his arm wrapped around your waist and face buried in the back of your neck. A morning you never thought you’d get. A dream finally come true.

You wanted to smile, to wake him up with another round, but the pain in your heart grew the longer you lay there in silence. The problem wasn’t last night or even what he said. The problem was what came next. You couldn’t just leave your hometown and Eddie would never make the choice to let go of New York. A city that burrowed itself deep in his heart, carving into the space that belonged to you.

This would always be his path.

A man with a future far too big to give it all up for a girl from his past.

You didn’t belong in New York. You knew that now.

Swallowing the harsh sob, you managed to wrangle yourself out of his grip, gathering a fresh pair of clothes to change into. But the sight of him splayed on the bed, sheets around his waist and arm tossed over his head left you breathless. A picturesque painting come to life. He was your muse, your whole heart on display for the world to see. The person embedded in your very DNA.

You would love him until the day you died.

And even after that.

The small suitcase remained packed near the dresser, your dress from last night a forgotten memory that lay strewn on the floor. You left it behind as you shoved on the only jacket you owned, your purse and wallet gathered next. The pulse of your racing heart nearly forced you to sit down somewhere and gather your thoughts. Yet if you did that…you’d never buck up the courage to finally let him go.

This wasn’t fair to him. You knew that.

You knew Eddie would fight you on going, his words lingering like a bruise on your heart. The softly whispered I love you still scratched into your skin. He loved you. He loved you.

He…loved you.

So why couldn’t you accept that? Why were you taking one final glance as the door shut behind you with its familiar thud. Loud enough to echo off the empty stairwell? Though you’d never say aloud, you knew the truth.

Fear.

The type of fear that clung to every breath, choking you from the inside out. You didn’t know how to love someone who finally loved you back. After so long pining, you suddenly felt like you were sailing out into the treacherous open waters of a heart you didn’t actually know. He loved you and yet there you were acting like a coward and running from the promise of more. The hope of a life fully lived.

Eddie jolted awake with the thud of the door, his body catching up with sluggish thoughts that filtered through his mind. Half awake and bleary, he reached for the other side of the bed expecting to find your curled up body on the edge of the mattress. Always pulling away in the middle of the night, always running. He grinned, blinking away the last dregs of sleep, and found an empty room.

“Baby?” he asked, leaning on his hands.

His gaze darted to spaces in the room that once held your things. The suitcase by the dresser, the purse on the desk. The jacket draped over a singular chair. Only to find nothing but the dust outline that remained. Eddie’s heart stuttered, stomach rolling painfully, as he clambered out of the bed and pulled up his jeans still in a heap on the floor.

Beside your dress.

“Baby!” The kitchen was empty, void of any life and Eddie frantically searched the fridge for a note, for that key he gave you.

It was discarded by the coffee machine, sitting in the lonesome shine of the afternoon sun.

“Shit,” he whispered, the burn of tears cresting.

Rushing to grab his things, he didn’t bother to check if the door was locked before sprinting down the stairs. Nearly tripping on his way down. You couldn’t have left him behind after last night. You weren’t capable of that kind of pain—that amount of soul crushing agony. Yet you endured it all through his time in New York. You listened to him ramble about his life here, about the women he never outrightly told you about—the memories that didn’t include you.

He left you behind without a second thought.

How could he think you wouldn’t do the same?

“Taxi!” he shouted, grabbing the nearest one to him with a panicked rushed out order to take him to the nearest airport.

The only place you could have gone.

“Where to miss?”

Sighing, you offered a tight lipped smile and set the worn suitcase by your feet. The chatter of the airport blended together, forming a mad rush of emotions you’d never witnessed before today. People coming home from a flight. Families going out for the holidays. Lives that rushed past you even as you stood still at the counter, explaining the details of how you’d like to move up your flight date.

A chance to get home before any bad weather sets in. Half a life.

“Perfect,” the attendant replied with a grin. “There’s one in twenty minutes. You can head straight to security.”

“Thank you. And happy holidays.”

You were given a curt nod in response, their arm extended to your gate number. The final goodbye to a life half lived.

“Can you hurry up please?” he begged, glancing at the line of traffic that eventually led to the front.

“I’m goin’ as fast as I can buddy.”

Eddie sighed, scrubbing a hand down his face. “Alright yeah. Here’s fine.” He tossed the cash on the passenger seat, swinging the door open before the car stopped. “Thanks! And happy holidays!”

His boots pounded on the pavement lined with melting snow, people moving out of his way as he ran fast enough to nearly bowl them over. Apologies flew out of his mouth left and right, the edge of his jacket catching on stray luggage and shoulders slamming into groups of people. He couldn’t give them a second thought as he sprinted faster. His mind entirely and solely focused on the other half of his heart.

The piece that refused to beat without you there.

Even though he wracked his brain on the drive here he still couldn’t understand why you left. What made you decide to turn tail and run? Until it suddenly hit him hard enough to bruise the inside of his chest.

You never said you loved him.

He repeated the words over and over until his tongue went numb and lips went raw from kissing you. But never—not once—did you say it back. Did you love him? Did you want him? Or were you simply rushed into something without knowing what it was. That alone made him sick with fear. The thought that you didn’t want what happened last night and simply gave into him based on his need alone.

“C’mon kitten where are you,” he muttered, glancing at the lines of people that stretched on for miles.

“It’s just clothes,” you said, heaving it up onto the table. “Nothing unusual.”

“Good,” the man curtly responded, unzipping the suitcase with a sharp tug. Eventually you would have to find a new piece of luggage, but leaving again might not happen for quite some time. At least until you gathered the courage to finally flee your hometown. “Seems like it all checks out.”

You grinned, unable to make it reach your eyes. “Thanks.”

“You can go on to your gate.”

“Excuse me, where can I find this flight?” Eddie frantically asked the attendant at the front desk, his eyes still scanning the never ending crowd.

“Straight to the back. But you’ll need a ticket–”

He was gone before they could finish their sentence, his heart jumping with each step he took. The blaring echo of people everywhere he looked set his teeth on edge, his eyes burning with unshed tears as he searched for you everywhere he was able to see.

Rushing past groups of families and friends bidding their farewells, he finally spotted a familiar worn out brown suitcase gripped tight at the side of the final step in his path.

“KIT!” he shouted, watching with bated breath as you stilled, body going stiff at the sound of his voice.

With a gasping breath, you turned on your heel, catching sight of a ruined and broken version of the man you belonged to. The man who held your heart in his hands. Who could shatter you upon contact if you weren’t careful. He’d be the one to destroy you, but oh how you longed to be ripped apart by him. Oh how you ached to be that broken toy he did his best to fix—the stained glass window he might piece back together.

“Eddie, what are you doing here?”

“Stopping you,” he harshly breathed, striding towards you. “You’re gonna stand there and you’re going to fucking listen this time.”

“I’ve got a flight–”

“Do me a favor a shut the fuck up,” he cut you off, lips curling into a smile that sucked every ounce of willpower out of your limbs.

Your mouth clamped shut, eyes going wide as he finally reached you. His hand wrenching the suitcase out of your grip without even asking. But Eddie was done asking. He was done with appeasing others.

The boy torn to shreds by the hands of a father who never loved him. Only to be put back together by the girl who did.

“I asked you to stay.”

The dip of your head and frown painted across lips he could still taste shattered his strength. “I know Eddie. I just…”

“You just didn’t think I would say I love you?”

Your eyes met his, a fire flickering back to life. “You don’t love me Eddie.”

“Bullshit.”

“Eddie!” you squawked.

“You heard me, kitten. I love you. Of course I love you. How could I not? And you love me too. I know you do.”

“Don’t flatter yourself Alden,” you snapped, fighting against the tears.

“What about homecoming?”

“Homecoming?” you exclaimed. “What about homecoming?”

“You kissed me! And you expect me to forget about that? About the day you killed me?” Before you could argue, he glared at you—his lips still pulled into that fucking grin you adored.

“I have loved you since I was twelve years old and pushed you in the mud baby. I’ve loved you through every rooftop conversation, after every argument with my goddamn father. After every football game and college party. I have loved you through every fucking second in this city, because I don’t know who I am without you kitten. I never have.”

“Oh…Eddie.”

The suitcase dropped to the floor with a thud as he rushed towards you, hands cupping your cheeks stained in fresh tears. “I’ll love you till it’s me in the ground right next to you. Cause that’s where I belong, Kit. At your side. I am hopelessly, undoubtedly fucking in love with you. Forever.”

“I love you,” you admitted, finally letting go of the one secret that kept you going every fucking day of your life. “I always have.”

Smiling, he swooped down and pressed his lips against yours hard enough to hurt. But you welcomed the pain with a choked gasp of his name, burying your fingers in his hair to keep him close. An arm wrapped around your waist, yanking you forward with a breathy chuckle. A sound you burned into your mind as you kissed him back with everything held in your heart.

“Stay with me,” he begged, gripping the back of your neck tenderly. “Live in New York with me. Fuck marry me one day. But stay.”

Sucking in a breath, you searched for that sliver of doubt that always reared its ugly head and found nothing but warmth. The piece finally set in place. Where it belonged.

“Yes,” you whispered. “I’ll stay.”

Maybe you didn’t belong in New York, maybe you weren’t meant for the big city life. But you belonged to Eddie. You were always supposed to be with him, stuck to his side like glue—wrapped tight and safe in the arms of your protector.

He laughed, wrapping you in a hug tight enough to crush your lungs. “Let’s go cancel your fucking flight.”

Grabbing your hand, he dragged you past the people saying goodbye, past the families saying hello. Onto a path you knew well, a future overflowing with the warmth of his love. Eddie Alden loved you. He’d loved you all along. And it was everything you could have wanted. He offered you a life fully lived—a home inscribed in your story—and you took it without a second thought.

His fingers looped with yours, keeping you close, and you smiled at the sight. Leaning into his touch with a contented sigh.

“Hey Eddie?” He glanced to the side with a hum. “Will you make me that coffee now?”

A smile crossed his lips, arm wrapping around your shoulders as his lips found yours. As if he’d been doing it all along.

“You got it, kitten.”

FIN.

note: i still kinda can't believe that it's all over. but to those who let me know how excited they were for this story i want to thank you! i wouldn't have found the drive to finish it without you guys.🖤

[appocalipse]

hello ♥ i'd like to request faded photograph + antique lock and key set with steve. maybe after what happened in s4 with steve and nancy and all that r decides to leave hawkins because she's sure he still loves nancy and she wants to move on? and if you want it could have a happy ending with one of those super cute love confessions ♥♥♥

ahhhh this is so steve! ♥ (also this is my version where eddie and max are alive and fine and hawkins is safe again)

visit amy's flea market ♥

"I need to tell you something."

Steve is not sure he likes the tone of your voice. It's somber, serious. His gut clenches, and for a brief moment, he scares himself with the thought that something might be wrong with you, something he might not be able to help with. 

And it's raining outside, for God's sake. It's never good news on a rainy day like this, is it?

"Everything... everything is fine?"

"Yeah. Yes, everything is...fine." 

You smile, but Steve notices it doesn't quite reach your eyes.

You look at him as if the words are stuck in your throat, as if they're heavy and you desperately want to get rid of them. 

Finally, you clear your throat. 

"I'm leaving."

Steve feels as if the wind has been knocked out of him. "What?"

"I'm leaving. Hawkins, I mean. Tomorrow."

You shrug, as if you're not sure what else to do with your arms, and then you turn around and Steve can't even attempt to read your expressions anymore. 

He knows you've been thinking about college and your future, but he thought... well, he thought you'd stay. You'd told him months ago that you were actually planning to stay. And now...

Steve clears his throat, trying to keep his voice steady. And because he's sure this can't be happening, he double-checks, "For...for good?"

"Yeah. For good."

The silence between you feels like a living thing, thick and suffocating. Steve can feel the weight of it pressing down on him, making it hard to breathe. He wants to say something, anything, but nothing comes out. He's not sure if he's in shock or if he's just too stunned to form words.

"Why?" The question finally escapes him. "Why are you leaving?"

You turn back to him, and for a moment, Steve thinks he sees a glimmer of something in your eyes. Is it... sadness? Regret?

"I...I'm not sure, I guess," you say. "Just...why not?"

The words sound pathetic even to your own ears, but you can't help it. It's not like you don't love this place, this town, your friends... Steve. You do. You love it all.

Too much.

And it's different now. Hawkins is safe. The kids are safe. You're out of excuses to stay and get your heart broken a little further. It feels like it's time to move on, to leave behind the shadow of the Upside Down, to stop waiting for something to happen.

But Steve looks at you like you're making the biggest mistake of your life, and then he says the last words you'd expect him to say right now. "You want to leave and you don't even know why?"

It's not anger in his voice, but it's close. It's desperation and fear and a kind of raw pain that you'd expect to see in the eyes of someone who's just been told they have a terminal illness or something.

"I just..." you stammer, feeling the weight of his gaze pressing down on you. "I have to."

Steve shakes his head, looking as if he's trying to will you to stay. "You don't have to."

"Yes I do! In a way that you don't understand."

"Then explain it to me!"

You're angry now, and a little hurt. All of your other friends supported your decision; Eddie, the kids. Nancy. And out of all of them, Steve is your best friend. Shouldn't he understand most of all?

"It's not that easy! You don't understand what it's like here! I can't...I can't just stay!"

Steve takes a step back, clearly hurt. "What do you mean I don't understand?"

"I mean..." You trail off, feeling helpless. 

What are you supposed to do? Tell him how you are such a coward you cannot stand to see him and Nancy find their way back to each other? 

"...doesn't matter," you murmur. "Doesn't matter. You'll be fine, okay? You have... everyone."

The words taste bitter in your mouth, and you can tell they're not sitting well with Steve. He looks at you like you've just slapped him, and you feel a pang of guilt. But what else can you do? You can't tell him the truth. You can't tell him that you're leaving because you're terrified of never getting over your stupid feelings for him, of watching him and Nancy falling in love with each other all over again.

You can't tell him that every time you think about it, you feel like you're drowning.

"Look," you say, forcing a smile, "it's not like I'm never coming back or anything. I'll...I'll visit. And...and I'll...call."

Steve doesn't return your smile. He just looks at you for a long moment, his eyes searching yours, as if he's trying to find something. Something that you've been keeping hidden. And then he shakes his head, and a small, sad smile finally tugs at the corner of his lips.

"You know what?" he says, his voice barely above a whisper. "Maybe...maybe I should come with you."

You look at him, stunned. You hadn't even considered the possibility. Steve...leaving Hawkins? With you? It's a strange, surreal thought, and...no. Absolutely not. 

That would totally ruin your plan. 

"What?"

"Yeah," Steve says, surprising you again. "I mean...why not? It's not like I've got anything keeping me here. And maybe...maybe it'd be good for me to get away. You know? See something new, do something different."

He looks at you, hope in his eyes. And for a moment, you almost consider it. Almost. Because it's so much easier saying yes to Steve than saying no. You could be together, away from all the memories and the reminders of everything you've been through...but you'd still be just friends. 

He'd be with you everyday, and that's the last thing you need. 

You can't stand the thought of watching him find someone else, fall in love, and live happily ever after. Of course, you want him to have all of those things; you just don't want to watch.

Steve seems to sense your hesitation, his hope fading. 

"You don't want me in your life," it's not a question. 

You panic.

"No! I mean...I do, I..." You can feel the words tumbling out of you before you even realize what you're saying. "You just..."

"Is that why you want me to stay here? Just so you don't have to deal with me anymore?"

"No!" You shake your head violently. "Of course not! That's not it at all!"

But the words feel hollow, even to you. Because in some twisted, secret part of your mind, that's exactly how you feel. You want him to stay here, where it's safe, where he can't get close to you, where he can't hurt you. You know it's selfish, but you can't help it.

Steve's expression softens, and he takes a step closer. "Be honest with me."

You make an effort not to move.

"I'm sorry," you manage to say, your voice barely audible. "I don't want you to come with me, but it's not because...I just...I don't think it's a good idea. It'd be better for you to stay here, where you belong. You deserve...you deserve to be happy. Your life is here, your job...she is here."

"She?"

"Nance."

Steve's face twists into a bitter grimace. "What does Nancy have to do with anything?"

"I just mean...well, c'mon, she was your first love, and you still love her, it's clear, a-and now she's single again-"

"Wait, wait, wait, hold on a second here," Steve says, his voice suddenly raised. "Nancy? You think I'm still in love with Nancy? You're kidding, right?"

You blink, surprised by the vehemence in his tone. But Steve has always been…protective of his feelings, refusing to really understand them. You had seen how he and Nance looked at each other when no one was around, how he would light up whenever she was near...even when you were in the Upside Down, fighting for your lives, Steve's eyes would sometimes drift towards Nancy, his expression softening. 

It's obvious to you.

"Forget it," you say. "It's none of my business, I just...I want you to be happy."

"I am happy," Steve says, his voice low. "I'm happy with you here."

It feels like the air has been sucked out of the room. You want to say something, to apologize or explain or reassure...but you can't find the words, and with the way Steve is looking at you now, you're not even sure what it is you want to say anymore.

"Steve," you murmur in a small, quiet voice, your heart feeling like it's tearing in two.

He takes another step closer, and you feel your heart start to race. He cups your face in his hands, his touch gentle but firm, and leans in until his breath is warm against your lips. "Don't go anywhere," he asks.

Right this moment, you're not entirely sure you'd be able to if you tried.

Your feelings are confused enough. Being this close doesn't help. 

"Steve," his name rolling off your tongue is somewhere between a plea and a warning as you look up into his eyes, chest heaving. You tell yourself you want to pull away, that you simply can't find the strength.

"You really think that?" he whispers. "You really think I'm still in love with her?"

His hands are still cupping your face, his thumbs brushing against your cheeks as his lips part, and he slowly leans in, closer, until his nose is almost touching yours. 

You fist your hands in the fabric of his shirt, trying to will yourself not to give in to this, to not feel this way, to not want this. "Please don't," you manage to choke out. "Don't do this."

His lips brush against yours, soft and hesitant. "Don't do what?" he whispers against your mouth. "Don't love you?"

"Steve." Desperation. Feels like the world is spinning out of control.

He pulls back, eyes searching yours. "What do you want me to do?"

Your throat feels tight. "Don't do this," you manage to whisper. "Don't choose me because you think I'm a consolation prize."

He frowns, confusion flitting across his features. "What are you talking about?"

You swallow hard, feeling the tears burning at the back of your eyes. "I don't want you to do this just because you don't want me to leave, or because you're lonely, or-"

Steve cuts you off with a gentle shake of his head. "I know that's not true, and you know that's not true," he says, his voice soft. "But if it's what you need to hear..." 

He kisses you properly this time.

It's the kind of kiss that makes your toes curl, your heart skip a beat, and your stomach flip-flop. It's the kind of kiss that leaves you breathless, and a little dizzy, and more than a little bit in love.  It's the kind of kiss that tells you, without a single word being spoken, that you are wanted, and cherished, and loved.

"Do you feel like a consolation prize when I do this?" he whispers against your lips. And he kisses you again, slowly, his weight pressing you against the wall. You feel the warmth of his body against yours, the hardness of his muscles beneath your fingertips. "Or when I do this?"

He trails his lips down your neck, leaving a trail of tiny kisses behind. You sigh, arching into him, and he chuckles softly. 

"Steve..."

"Or this?"

He pulls back slightly, cupping your face with his hands, looking into your eyes as he trails his thumbs across your cheekbones. The softness of his touch catches you off guard. His gaze is intense, searching, and you feel like maybe he can see something there that no one else ever could. 

"Do you really feel like a consolation prize?" Steve gently brushes his nose against yours. He smiles. "Because if you do..." He leans in, lips parting just enough for his breath to tease across your skin. "...I'll prove you wrong."

"Actually," you smile, feeling the warmth spread from your chest up to your cheeks. You wrap your arms around his neck. "I think I might need some more... convincing."

Steve grins, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "Well, then." He leans in, pressing his lips against yours in a soft, gentle kiss. "I guess that's what I'll have to do."

[419jhat]

Russian Steve AU

Another plot bunny I've been unable to get out of my head...

What if Steve's parents were Russian spies and connected to the mall? What if Steve had powers? What if these were combined into two and turned into a Steddie thing?

I love the idea of Steve being like El but the Russian version, where his parents are spies and he's an experiment they willingly handed over to the government but still got to raise. They all go to the US to build the mall and Steve's trying desperately to be a normal American boy but Eddie Munson, King of Abnormality (which drives Steve absolutely crazy because who would want to stand out??) gets in the way and completely wrecks his whole situation.

TW: Dead Bodies

Steven Anthony Harrington died in 1979, sometime around midnight on the third of January. He had two parents, also lying dead in the master bedroom, a dog collapsed on the kitchen floor, and that was it. They were a reclusive bunch with an unlucky family tree filled with people that tended to die early anyway. So maybe it was fate. As the New Steve looked down at the still face of the boy he was going to replace, he thought that it's probably just the circle of life. People die, people live, and the world keeps spinning. It doesn’t have to mean much beyond that.

Old Steve felt cold. It wasn't the first time New Steve had touched or felt a dead person, but for some reason this one is different. This time, it’s his fault. He felt the body go cold and numb as it happened. He watched the emotions seep out of the body as the boy's dream ended without him waking up. His father made him watch, so he understood the sacrifice taken so he could do his job.

The weight of it makes it hard to breathe.

It was a bloodless death, caused by carbon monoxide poisoning. Painless and simple. While the house airs out, Old Steve, his dog, and his parents are quickly disposed of. There is no evidence left behind. On January fourth, sometime in the evening, the new Harrington family sat on a couch they didn’t buy, in a living room they didn’t choose, and drank a cup of hot tea, considering the moment of peace before the start of their journey.

They move without a word to the neighbors, who the Old Harringtons were never friends with anyway. Nobody knows, or cares where they are. There’s a money trail if someone bothers to look, but it doesn’t expose anything more than a house hunting vacation. Then, just before the start of the school year, they use Richard’s savings to buy a home in a sleepy little town called Hawkins, Indiana. And their new lives begin.

New Steve thought that the new home was too big. Every little noise echoed and bounced across the walls, making him jump and look around as if he’d find people hiding in them, watching their every move. When they’d arrived, he and his parents laid down on the soft, carpeted floor and stared at the pure white ceiling in silence, taking in the new world around them. They hadn’t said anything, but they didn’t need to. He knew things would be different from then on.

He spent that first week with his parents. Every morning like clockwork, they sat before the TV and repeated everything said out loud, practicing their accents and furthering their understanding of the strange phrases Americans liked to use, like, “take a rain check,” and “lipstick on a pig.” New Steve found he hated movies, where he couldn’t see people’s feelings like he could in person. They reminded him of Old Steve’s frozen body, huddled up in blankets as if he was just sleeping. Like soulless meat puppets waiting to be buried and never found again.

In the evenings, he and his mother worked through a cookbook she’d been gifted, perfecting American dishes like casseroles and meatloaf. On the second day, he helped her deliver a pie to their neighbor, and she introduced him as her shy little boy who never had much to say. It wasn’t true. He still had a hard time with the ‘th’ sound that so many English words used, so they’d decided that until he got it right, that’s who he’d be.

With his dad, during the day when nobody would question it, they cut open the wall in his office and installed a gun safe. Apparently, it was legal for normal people in America to own guns. Steve was too young to have an opinion on that, but his dad muttered in English about how it was the kind of irresponsible nonsense that made his job easier. So, maybe it was a good thing. Either way, they covered the safe with a wall once again, so they were truly out of sight.

When his parents weren’t home, New Steve quietly snuck out to dip his toes in the pool. He’d never seen a pool before. He didn’t even know how to swim. In the spot close to the deep end, where neighbors wouldn’t see him unless they stuck their heads over the fence to pry, New Steve would find the perfect stick- thin and light with no leaves, and drag it across the surface of the water, watching the ripples as they rolled across the heated surface. And that was how he found peace with his new house.

It took him a while to settle into the role of Steve, and even longer for him to climb the mantle of King Steve. But that was his job, so it’s what he did. King Steve was good at sports. Captain of the swim team, co-captain of the basketball team. Handsome, fond of parties, rich with mysterious parents who traveled often. Charming, just enough for people to wonder how he stayed out of trouble despite everything he got up to.

But secretly, Steve, just Steve, also known in his heart as Stepan, was terrified. He never let it show on his face, even more terrified that his parents would lose faith in his skills and dump him somewhere while they returned to Russia as heroes without him. He spent most of his time fueled with fear, balancing the careful images he’d built for himself as the perfect All-American Boy that his parents were relying on. Unfortunately for Steve, he hadn’t anticipated what would happen to his precious double image when he fell in love.

[mvltisstuff]

What about a fic where reader is Evan’s sister and gets into a bad car accident? Lots of angst but also some fluff please. 🫶🫶

slipping through my fingers - e.b

summary: request :)

evan buckley x sister!reader (a lot of maddie too 🩶)

a/n: i have an eddie diaz oneshot in the drafts currently that i’ve been debating on posting. it contains a pretty sensitive subject, so i really wanted to get it right. it was inspired by another request, along with another show. i hope you enjoy this and i’ll keep on writing some more for you guys :))

y/n could say growing up with as the youngest buckley wasn’t the easiest task. the consistency of begging for attention was draining from the start. going above and beyond for just a grain of appreciation was the default in their house. she was repeatedly looked through, almost as if she wasn’t there due to her parents grief.

she had come after buck in a desperate attempt to be able to save david, but failed in the end. he was gone too soon, so therefore, y/n was almost like a chore. sure, her parents loved her, but she wasn’t the child they wanted. dealing with the discovery of why she wasn’t loved enough was just as bad as experiencing it. maddie was in boston with doug, and buck had gone onto his own adventures. meanwhile y/n was stuck at home with nowhere to go and no plans of leaving. she dreamed about it, though. she heard about buck moving to los angeles and immediately wanted to be with him. she was almost done with college, and after that, she packed up her diploma and degree and flew away.

life in california was amazing. she had friends, she was loved, and she had no reminders of the lonesomeness she felt at home. for once, she was able to make a home out of where she was. maddie was safe, and it felt like they were a fixed version of their family.

out of the pure intentions in her heart, y/n invited her distant parents back to LA. with maddie expecting a new baby, and the years of a few texts, there was a new hope that maybe things could be turned around. it wouldn’t change their childhood experiences, but maybe they could heal them. maddie was on board, but buck was still skeptical. their words were like knives and the scars couldn’t be helped. he showed up anyway, wanting to give maddie and her baby the opportunity to have a life with them.

they travelled six hours, and chimney and maddie were gracious enough to host a dinner for everyone. maddie received hugs and gifts as buck and y/n were kind of nudged away. when maddie got her baby box that her parents had from when they were kids, buck and y/n had just become dusty figures. they didn’t say anything, at least not about that.

an explosive speech from buck had ignited from the judgmental words from their parents, causing him to be begging for love and expressing his inner teenage self. he had removed himself from the dining room of the apartment, and y/n sat in her seat, slumped over with her head in her hands.

“god, can you guys please just do something other than reprimand us?” y/n breaks the awkward silence.

“we were just speaking, y/n!” says their father. “if evan wants to storm out, let him.”

“well, maybe he wouldn’t have stormed out if you didn’t nit-pick ever part of his life.”

“you invited us, y/n. i don’t know what you want us to say. you know what we went through-“

“and you think that’s an excuse? if so, it’s a shitty one and we all know it. no parent should have to say goodbye to a child, but no child needs to go unloved because they don’t care anymore. and you didn’t even bat an eye when he begged you to ‘love him anyway’. so if you want to sit here, and tear down everything we have build from your actions, be our guest.”

“you always defend your siblings, y/n. you guys have never once put yourself in our shoes!” their mother cries out.

“oh, trust me, we did. for over 20 years,” maddie breaks in.

“how do you think we feel, maddie? you all just packed up your stuff and ran away to leave us with nothing,” speaks their father, again.

“dad, i can’t… i can’t do this. everything i did, i did it myself. i made this life here for myself! so did maddie, so did buck. don’t go putting yourselves on a pedestal,” she begins to gather her things, and put hers and bucks dinner plates away for maddie and chimney.

“where are you going?” chimney says, trying to calm everything down and he’s definitely in the most awkward situation.

“chim, thank you for dinner and letting us come over. you’re welcome over to my place anytime. i’m sorry, but i’m going to see my brother,” y/n says, shutting the door behind her.

while maddie stays back, trying to pick up the broken pieces, y/n drives over to bucks apartment. she repeatedly calls him, making sure he’s okay and to say that she’s coming over. the roads were dark from the early sunsets of the fall, barely illuminated from the streetlights.

“buck,” she says into her phone. “i know you’re pissed off, and im sorry i arranged this. but i need to know you’re ok, so im on my way over. please call me back.”

she ends the voicemail and tries to put her phone back into the holder. it slips out of her shaky hands and onto the floor of the seat. she groans out, worried he would call her back and she wouldn’t be able to answer. she doesn’t reach down, but she looks at the phone on the floor.

a drunk, someone intoxicated with alcohol, must have been driving like a maniac. swerving through lanes with no warning and passing several signs. she tried so hard. she tried to move out of the way, but the spontaneous movements of the driver had confronted their cars head on.

the flash of white from y/n’s airbags flew out at her. the glass of her windshield was shattered, laying all over the dashboard and the seats. her head drooped onto her shoulder. the cuts on her face were stinging and the other pain in her body went unnoticeable due to shock. the soft ringtone of her phone was vibrating on the bottom of the car. the ringing in her ears caused the sound to be faded out, and she couldn’t even get it to call 9-1-1.

“maddie, hey,” buck says as maddie picks up the phone. “have you, uh, tried calling y/n? she left me so many calls and now she won’t answer.”

“no, i haven’t. she said she was coming to see you,” maddie replies, confused.

“where’s mom and dad?”

“the hotel, they left soon after her.”

buck pulls his phone away from his ear and the buzzing on his hand. y/n’s name appears across the screen. “oh, she’s calling me know,” he hangs up the phone and answers it to a bone-chilling sentence.

“is this evan buckley?” a deep, unknown voice asks in bucks ear.

y/n was awake in the ambulance, hearing all the chaos and jargon around her. she knew she’d never hear the end from buck, being a firefighter. she begged them to let him know, telling them repeatedly, “my brother works at the 118,” and how maddie is a dispatcher.

she was wheeled into the hospital on her stretcher, collar on and a big bandage around her waist for a massive piece of glass in her abdomen. “y/n buckley, 27, three-car pileup with an oblique fracture to the tibia and penetration wound to the abdomen, likely to not have hit any major organs.” and before she knew it, she was sped into the trauma rooms and given more morphine. she just wanted her brother and sister. not all these doctors or her parents.

buck picked up maddie on the way to the hospital, not thinking twice before smashing the gas pedal down. he ran through those doors like a strike of lighting, being seen in one place and somewhere else the next. he forced her name out to the nurse as maddie caught up to him. “relation to the patient?”

“brother, and sister,” he says, impatiently, both hands flat on the counter.

the nurse typed rapidly on her computer. “she’s in surgery, honey. but she’s stable.”

buck puffs out a sigh of relief as maddie grabs his arm, leading him to the waiting room. almost all of the 118 was in this hospital, like she was a firefighter herself. chimney had brought hen, and eddie had come as well as bobby. athena had told bobby, as she was the one who arrested the man who caused the crash.

buck tries to calm himself down remembers all the times he tried to one-up her and smiles at the memories. he and maddie exchange small and sweet memories of their little sister, as her life remains in the hands of someone else.

“hey,” maddie nudges him, trying to think of something to cheer him up. “remember when she stole 20’s out of our wallet to buy us christmas gifts?”

buck giggles a bit, “yeah, and then we tried playing tag, so we spun her around a ton of times and hid inside until she just sat there.”

“and then she fell down the stairs from being so dizzy,” maddie smiles.

“ruthless!” chim interrupts, sitting next to maddie.

“you know you two are what made it so hard to leave.”

“i know. imagine having to leave her all alone with mom and dad, though. she’s gotta be ok, maddie.”

“she will, buck. no one’s getting rid of her that easy.”

the doctor with a scrub cap on comes walking into the waiting room, followed by a few interns and others. “buckleys?”

maddie and buck shoot out of their seat first, and chimney and hen follow soon after like a train. “oh, my bad.” hen says, pulling her and chim back down to sit.

“what’s goin’ on, doc?”

“y/n will be fine. she had a fracture in her leg which we fixed up. she’ll need some help getting around, but she’ll be good as new,” the doctor informs.

they knew she would make it out, but hearing it being confirmed by the doctor made it so much more real. buck was speechless, not being able to mutter out any words. “can we see her?” maddie asks.

“you can, she’s still sedated from anesthesia and intubated, but cynthia, here, can lead you to the room.”

seeing y/n’s fragile and hurt body on the bed was an agonizing sight. maybe if buck hadn’t stormed out, she wouldn’t be in this bed and have come across that driver. maybe he could’ve driven her home. all the ‘if’s’ and ‘maybes’ in bucks head were floating through, thinking it’s his fault. he always takes the blame for these situations when it is completely the opposite.

buck sees tragedy every day, and maddie hears it. maddies only sister was in the small hospital room with a tube down her throat. she needed y/n there to help her, and her baby needed her aunt. buck needed his little sister, the one always there for him and forever will be. the thought of her not being there scared him to death. even though they see get rushed into the hospital or sent to the morgue every day, it will never prepare you from seeing your favorite people in that position.

buck stumbled over to the chair by the side of the bed, pulling it out for maddie to rest her aching feet. he walked to the other side of the bed, sitting down and grabbing lightly onto y/n’s hand like he was scared to break it. “i don’t know if we should say something. let her know we’re here, you know.”

“she knows, evan,” maddie says, meeting bucks eyes with her own. “i know that.”

buck smiles and looks down at y/n, her chest rising and falling with the hissing of the tubes and machines. he observes the iv’s and cuts and fresh new bruises. he wants to kill whoever did this, but at the moment, his only concern is the well-being of y/n.

so, for the rest of the night, maddie and buck didn’t move from their spots once until she was awoken and the tube was removed. they held her hand, and when y/n was awoken, she knew she was safe from the hands that were tangled with hers.

[p1zzaparty]

i for one would love to hear the remainder of ur thoughts on maggie tozier…

EEEE THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING!!! This means so much coming from you Kat 😭

okay a few things to note before i begin

This is a lot

Its a lot of me redoing her from the ground up, her personality, her looks, her background, her relationships etc, etc.

So just know, im taking like a thousand creative liberties with this

To begin i based her looks on the character Deirdre Barlow from an old brit soap opera called Coronation Street.

I imagine she literally looks like her kids, they get almost 90% of her genes and look like mini versions of her. Though she perms her hair to fit in with the trends, and tv has sold her a bunch of at-home perm styling kits. She's got pronounced jowls like Richie does, he probably has her wide nose too. Her fashion is very on brand for the time with lots of sweaters and jeans and big clunky jewelry.

I always imagined, much like every little homo, Richie got a lot of his fashion from his mama..

and cartoons.

She's average height, and probably is on and off diets but never takes it too seriously. Besides she enjoys baking and is always trying some recipe she saw Julia Childs make. She's kind of a stocky woman, it just runs in the family to be sorta squarish and have this bulldog look to them.

As for personality i personally never cared for Kings description of her as a kind of wishy washy woman who cried at everything Richie did or said.

For me i liked to think someone like Richie needs a mom who matches his energy and can take on his rambunctiousness. Even if it takes grabbing him by the ear and dragging him back inside to get a verbal slashing. She's not overly dominant or strict, just used to Richie always mucking up mud and knows how to rear him back even if he still embarrasses her in public sometimes with his trashmouth. I mentioned this before but i see Maggie as one of the, if not ONLY, better parental figures in the loser club. She genuinely cares about Richies friends because of how few and far between there is. Any kid in her house is her kid, she feeds and provides a safe place for anyone he brings home. Even if she doesn't understand some of their interests, or lingo, or fashion statements, or music. She's a moms mom, always referring to any kid as 'hon' 'baby' or 'sweetheart.' She can be fun and doesn't take anything toooo seriously, but she still cares about appearances. She's like an average sitcom mom who wants to look like a good mom and have a normal family with a happy life. She's also, a giant dork.

Much like her son, she too is kind of a loser. She's got that Tozier awkwardness, always making jokes where there shouldn't be, laughing too loudly/obnoxiously, always making references to pop culture even if nobody in the room has a clue what they're referring to. She doesnt really have a lot of friends 😭

She definitely tried, oh my god did she try. She would bake goodies and strap baby Richie into one of those backpack carriers and go around the neighborhood trying to introduce herself and her stinky ugly baby. And it was hard, Derrys an old, OLD small town. Backwards, judgmental, harsh, hateful. Unfortunately she just wasn't that privy with the other moms around her. But she desperately wanted to be, being a stay at home mom is lonely work. She dreamt of just being that sitcom housewife that makes the perfect dinner and snaps her fingers to clean the house in an instant and talks, and talks, and talks on the phone. She wants in on the mom gossip. She wants to be apart of a community SO badly.

Sonia is one of her few mom friends and even then that's more of a obligated friendship, their only common interests being their children and television. She kind of finds Sonia annoying and doesn't approve of her parenting methods, always rolling her eyes when the phone rings while Eddies staying the night, knowing its some new task she'll have to force the boy to do. Though she enjoys that Sonia will listen to her blabber, even if shes probably just sitting and watching tv while Maggie drones on about this and that and giving an assuring "uh huh" as a sign of life. Maggie's such a tv head too, i love to think she enjoys watching Cheers the most along with various soap operas and game shows. Her family bonds over tv with tv dinners on tv stands while they parrot tv quotes at each other. She probably has to shoo Richie away whenever Cheers is on, needing time to debrief and mumble to herself about Dianes complicated romances. And shes got a crush on Fraiser, god you and your mom have crushes on wimpy mama boys in suits lordd

I based a lot of her personality on Calvins mom from Calvin and Hobbes

I played around a bit with her background. I know she's depicted as Catholic but i always imagined she grew up Jewish, only quitting the practice when she and Went got married. Her views on religion are mixed, not wanting to really skew her children in any direction, but celebrating Christmas to fit in with everyone else in Derry. Not that it really helped because she never took them to church. Evil bastard child and her half demon brother whos annoying. Her and her parents relationship are a bit if not totally strained, they probably disapproved of Went back when they first met as teens. Their reasons were based mostly on Wents social status, but they were also just very critical of Maggie and every choice she made. She always felt suffocated by her parents and Went just made her feel clear and airy. Though it was mostly puppy love that kept them together at the time, their love would continue to blossom over the years as they got older and older. They truly loved each other.

I had this whole idea that he and Maggie were young lovers at 18, falling in love like it was the movies as they hid it from their parents. But she would end up pregnant with Rachel like REALLY early on, and it would kind of "ruin" any "plans" they had of running off together and going to some local college while Went worked. Which only added more strain to her and her parents relationship as they went off to have a small shot-gun wedding at a courthouse. Only able to afford a dress and flowers at the time, but she still looks back at it fondly and probably passed her dress on to Rachel later in life. She is still in contact with her parents but only rarely do they go visit, Richie hates the smell of his grandpa and always tries to rile them up by doing impressions of Mickey Mouse.

She's one of the youngest mothers in Derry, only making her more of an outcast in the judging eyes of others, but she loves her kids more than she ever felt she was loved as a child. She always wanted a girl, just enjoyed shopping for one and bonding with one and brushing their hair and decorating their room and doing their nails and makeup together. She adored Rachel, she was exactly what she dreamed of when she thought of raising a little girl. Their relationship is really close even if Rachel began to pull away towards her teen years. (I have SO many ideas for her as well 😭)

Much like her, Richie was a surprise/accident. She never really imagined herself caring for a boy and found it a bit more difficult, especially since their age gap is a bit wide. But even through her rolling eyes and yelling Richies full government name when she finds her nightgown cut with eyeholes in it for his ghost costume, she loves her son.

Their relationship is VERY much like Linda and Gene. While she doesnt care much for Richies crude humor and snappy quips, she cant help but hide a smile sometimes when she hears him and Rachel bickering back and forth. She genuinely thinks her son is really funny, just needs to tone it down a notch sometimes and not be the loudest voice in the room. God, shes probably taken him to talent shows at school. Tying Wents best looking polkadot tie around his neck while he nervously flips through his note cards, getting his glasses all sweaty as he quietly asks if maybe they, um, can just go home instead. And she'd sigh and clean his stupid thick glasses for him and tell him hes going to do wonderful. "You're funny Richie, real funny." And when she see's him waddle up onto the stage, nervous, scared, and tiny. Her smile would be bigger than her heart, having to flash him a healthy thumbs up to boost his little confidence. But of course he would fumble, sputtering every joke, never getting to the punchline, or getting their too early, and he'd be too quiet for the people in the back to even hear him. And Maggie would be the only one clapping, the loudest she can too. That's her funny guy. She lets him cry to her and wipes his tears with her sleeve. She never bought into the way most moms treat their sons, she wanted Richie to grow up loving someone with his full heart. Even if it means she coddles him sometimes.

And her and Went have a very loving relationship, very average and kind of mundane in a sweet way. They're very genuine, Wents sort of a passive guy who listens to his wife nightly rants about her day and enjoys it. He loves her more than his vocabulary allows him. Simple guy, loves his wife, laughs when his kids curse at each other, works wayyyy too much.

God this family

I think that's the brunt of my thoughts, most of my ideas are just small little things that add to her greater personality. I also loooove parental parallels so there's always tiny shit between her, Richie, and Rachel even.

In chapter 2 i think she's still alive, Went died from liver cancer a bit into Richies 30s (Toziers are kind of functional alcoholics.) So now she resides in Florida, where Richie bought her a nice home near the beach. He doesn't visit, or call that often which depresses her a little. But she understands, plus Rachel still often comes by with her children to visit and catch up.

I have list long notes on all the Toziers, they're genuinely one of my favorite fictional families and i literally highjacked them and made them my own 😭

OH! and i imagine she's got a collection of antique clown decorations. Vases, paintings, statues, gnomes, you name it. It's why Richies not very fond of them. Or going into her room much.

Tldr; Your mamas a loser like you

[spideyanakin]

10 Things I Hate About you - Chapter 5

Eddie Munson x Harrington!reader

synopsis - A new rule strikes the Harrington household: if Steve wishes to date ever again, his sister needs to find a boyfriend first. As Steve becomes desperate and thinks of everything in his power to set her up, only one guy comes to mind that will take up a challenge such as that: Eddie Munson.

warnings - way too much fluff, ties in with season 1 (rip Barb), talks about Eddie's past (so trigger warning?), lotr references, one lil suggestive moment, angst if you squint

word count - 14.5k

Proof read by the amazing @inknopewetrust

series masterlist 🌻

the playlist

There was not a time in your life where you once believed you would feel like a main character in one of those cheesy romantic comedies your mom liked to watch on Friday nights.

Never did you think you would close the door to your house with a dumb smile plastered across your lips and a lovesick sigh would proceed to tumble from your body as your bag slid from your shoulder to find its spot beside the umbrella rack. You bit your lip, leaning against the white wood of your entry door in a daze.

Never did you think that the warm fuzzy feeling the young female lead always described would be coursing through your veins, astonished in the best of ways when the images of today flashed through your mind. Was this how Juliet felt when she first met Romeo at that masked ball? You felt dizzy; light and floating at the same time. Your fingers traveled by themselves to your lips as the ghost of his own haunted your thoughts. 

What had just happened? 

Eddie fucking Munson. 

That's not what, but who. 

The crazy metalhead who turned out to be the most amazing person you had ever set your eyes on. The one who would play torturous games of tags with teachers and spend half of his life getting detentions he never stepped foot in. 

That boy had come into your life like a hurricane. Ravaging every single one of your well thought out plans and everything you had seemed to set your mind on only to leave everything in the dust to be swept away with the wind. It only left you to become helplessly and hopelessly submerged by his existence.

"Y/n?" Your mom's wavering voice came from the kitchen, "Darling, is that you?" You could hear her footsteps on the colored carpet coming toward the entryway. 

"Yeah, mom, it's me." 

"Oh my God! Where were you?" She sighed out, voice cracking in relief.

"Out?" You said, nonchalantly as if you did it often and it wasn’t unusual. Slipping your shoes beside the door, you wiggled your socked feet out and kicked your shoes perfectly against the wall before walking the few steps towards the kitchen archway.

She was already halfway to you. Half of her hair stuck in bright pink and yellow hot rollers, her pink cotton shirt falling off one shoulder and worry creases marked between her eyebrows.  Her makeup done up and her eyes in a personified version of panic. 

Behind her, Steve sat on the counter with an unbothered gaze and a glass of orange juice between his fingers. He was fixing a strand of hair falling on his forehead before he took a sip of his juice. You noticed your father next to him, facing you with a stern look in his eyes. He was well dressed in his best polo and white dress pants. 

It was obvious your parents were getting ready to go somewhere and you were a stickler in their evening plans.

"Never do this to us again," your mother took a bated breath before continuing on. Her shaking hands reach for you to wrap her arms around your shoulders.

"O-ok?"

"Where were you?"

"I told you she was out with her boyfriend!" Steve smirked in between two sips. You glared at him from behind your mother’s shoulder before pulling away.

"I was out with a friend," you corrected. A friend which you had just kissed. But none of that mattered by the way your mother kept her hands on your shoulders and that crease between her brows only deepened, fighting the urge to fall into the panic that had been brewing for hours.

"What happened?" You scanned your mother's face, attempting to clarify the situation.

"You didn't come home after class and with that Byers boy disappearing–"

"Mom,” you interjected. “I'm fine."

"But you could have not been! We don't know what happened to Joyce’s boy and if someone’s out there snatching up–" 

"Mom,” you stressed again. “I was with someone. Nothing could have happened to me." 

And she frowned as your words sunk in, sighing and gripping your shoulder tighter and tighter until all of her weight was on you and the pressure was enough to make a bone ache. It was the worry of a mother.

"I was worried sick."

"I'm fine. Trust me,” you nodded, slipping out of her arms to go grab a glass of orange juice for yourself.

“Why is your hair wet?” Steve narrowed his eyes on you. He was poking around for insights on his plan and hoping that your parents would see you were up to something. 

“We went paintballing and I took a shower.”

“What do you mean ‘we?’” Your father raised an eyebrow.

“Her and her boyfriend,” Steve sang. 

“Boyfriend?”

“Well…it’s not like we’ve labeled anything–”

“I KNEW IT!” Steve pointed his finger at you.

“Steve-”

“Well, I’m glad you're home safe,” your father continued, too tired to go further into this conversation. “Both of our kids are home safe… Now, shall we finish getting ready? We also have our suitcases to prepare for tomorrow,” he turned his attention to your mother.

“Where are you guys going tonight?”

“Enzo’s.”

“Ah ok,” you nodded before opening the cupboard and grabbing the first glass that fell between your fingers; an old mustard glass from when you were a kid. The white cat from Disney’s Aristocats was painted on it. You took a short glance at it only to notice the tail was starting to fade off from the amount of times you’d used and washed it. “I might be going to the search.”

“Search?”

“The search for Will Byers. Half of the town is going,” you placed the glass on the counter before reaching for the orange juice carton next to Steve.

"Is that ‘boyfriend’ of yours coming with you?" Your father further questioned. 

"Nope," you shook your head, hoping your smile would be enough to shove the subject away. 

"I don’t like you going alone."

"As I said, there's a whole party going. Chief Hopper included."

Your father thought for a second, pursing his lips before nodding. “Don’t come home too late.”

“Sure, yeah, of course.”

"Well,” Steve slipped off the counter and winked at you as he turned to put his glass in the sink. “I’m going to Nancy’s to study.” 

"You're going to who's?" The surprise in your father’s voice was evident.

"Steve’s new love interest," you took a sip, excited to see the arguments your brother would throw at your dad.

“Potential new love interest!” He corrected you.

"Steve-"

"You said I could date when she does!" He raised his hands in innocence before slithering his way out of the room like a cheeky cat who had just captured the mouse. "Rules are rules, Dad."

“I don’t have time for this,” your father pinched the bridge of his nose and gave you one last look as if to tell you 'be safe' before turning around on his heels and exiting the kitchen, your mother following behind with not another word spoken.

~

“Rumor is,” Tommy beamed as he approached Carol and Steve, wrapping an arm around her shoulder–a large smirk plastered on his face, “the Freak and your sister are dating.” 

“I KNEW IT!” Steve threw his fist in the air in victory. “She came back home late yesterday after a totally not date with him.” Steve chewed on his bubble gum as he spoke, excitement rising in his chest at the idea. Everything was finally going according to plan, he grinned, looking around the bright hallway for any signs of you. He unfortunately didn’t spot you in the multitude of heads bopping around the corridor and turned his attention back to his friends.

“How’d you know?”

“People spotted them together in the hallway this morning before class. They kissed apparently.”

“This is actually going well,” Carol chuckled. “Who would have thought?” 

“Not me,” Tommy laughed.

“Damn,” Steve scoffed in surprise. He hadn’t expected for the plan to go that well, but He sure as shit could finally go out with Nancy now and that was all that mattered. 

On the other end of the hallway, hidden by the sea of students, Eddie had been waiting for you. Leaning on the wall by the door to Mrs. Click’s class, ee was toying with the chain attached to his jeans as he blankly stared at the little window opening. He could spot Mrs. Click bright red curls poking atop her head as she moved around the board. Eddie could almost hear the loud thud of her giant ruler colliding with whatever she had written on the board, continuing to go on about whatever country she had been rambling about. He thought this would forever be a trauma sound; anchored into his mind, doomed to haunt him every time he saw a world map. 

Finally, after what felt like a hellish eternity, the door opened and there you were: angelic as ever as you fixed your grip on your bag and pulled your walkman out of your back pocket. 

Eddie pushed himself off of the wall. He met your gaze as he got closer and wished he could permanently tattoo in his brain the smile that lit your features when you spotted him. His whole being buzzed with happiness as you strutted over and gave his cheek a peck. Eddie hummed in appreciation before you wrapped arm around his waist and his fell over your shoulder. 

It quickly became obvious that the onslaught of students would make walking like a pair more difficult. So as fast as your limbs had found purchase on the other, they left and returned to their homes at the sides of your bodies. 

“What tape did you bring today?” He asked, bumping his shoulder into yours instead.

“Rebel Yell.” 

“Of course you listen to Billy Idol,” he chuckled.

“And of course you wouldn’t,” you gave him your best smile. “Let me guess, it isn't metal enough for you?”

“Bullseye” Eddie pretended to throw a dart, a popping sound emitting from his lips as he let the imaginary dart go and it hit the red center. 

“Well, I like Billy Idol very much,” you placed the walkman back in your pocket with the headphones now resting safely on your shoulders. 

"How was the search?" Eddie changed the subject but instantly felt the shift in the conversation. You frowned before answering. He shouldn’t have asked. He should have listened to the gossip of the table beside him at lunch but he couldn’t help it. He was just as invested as everyone else. 

"Led absolutely nowhere," you sighed. You allowed yourself to melt closer to him as you held your notebooks tighter against your chest. "I just hope nothing bad has happened to him. He’s a good, quiet kid.”

Eddie came to a halt in the hallway and made you stop with him. He turned you around so you’d face him, taking your free hand in his. 

"Hey, look, I'm sure he's going to be alright," he took a breath and rubbed your knuckles with his thumb. "Plus they're continuing the search today, they have to find him. This is a small town, and nothing bad ever happens in Hawkins."

"Yeah," you nodded, “I guess you’re right,” you did your best to try and sound hopeful, but the pit at the bottom of your stomach wouldn't budge. You looked up from your red history notebook to find Eddie’s bright eyes staring right back–making you feel just a little bit better.

"C'mon," Eddie nudged you, keeping his hand locked in yours. “Let’s get to class.”

You sighed as you continued your walk through the hall. You were so caught up in the multitude of possibilities as to where Will Byers could be that you didn't think twice about the way Eddie was holding your hand.

In the meantime, Eddie couldn't believe that his fingers were intertwined with yours in the middle of the fucking Hawkins High hallway. He couldn't believe that he was walking with the girl of his dreams by his side and that she was not giving a care in the world about the lingering eyes and odd stares. Eddie had tried to convince himself that this morning had all been a dream. That you hadn’t jumped to hug him the second you met his eyes that morning or that you hadn’t pecked his lips before rushing off into Mr. Davis’ classroom. But the fact that your hand was indeed securely locked in his own made him know this was very much real.

He could hear the patter of his heart climbing up to his ears just thinking about it all.

But the dreamy reality quickly crushed when he spotted Steve's fluffy head of hair. He suddenly remembered that two weeks ago he wasn't even sure of your name. That not even two weeks ago he hadn’t had a clue that you were this amazing girl of his dreams that would make him feel this way. Two weeks ago he would have laughed at the face of anyone that would tell him he was on the road to falling in love. That he was practically sure he had met his soulmate and was utterly captivated in a two-week time frame which seemed so ridiculous. 

The closer the both of you became to Steve, the more he wanted to throw up.

"Oh my God," your voice brought him back.

"What?"

"I cannot believe Steve got his grip on Nancy so quickly," you squeezed his hand tighter and Eddie did too. Perhaps the fear of losing you had iced his veins because the words that left your lips felt too real. Of course Steve would be seen with Nancy. It was the entire point as to why he had paid Eddie in the first place. Now that he had the girl, it felt too likely that Steve would drop the deal and Eddie could try and see how he would go from there.

"What do you mean?" He played dumb.

"Well, now that I've been hanging out with you more, Steve is using this as a ‘get out of jail free’ card."

"Ah,"

"A party?" you heard Nancy squeak. "But it's Wednesday."

"C'mon it will be just a small gathering," Steve gave her a dazzling smile. 

"Well, look who it is!" Tommy Hagen cheered with a bright smirk and you closed your eyes in despair. Of course they had to call you. Carol leaned into Tommy’s shoulder as she eyed you and Eddie up and down, a sly smirk on her lips at the sight.

The hair on Eddie's arm spiked as Tommy's voice traveled up to his ears. He straightened himself up, bracing for the snarky remarks or comments that always came out of his mouth.

Steve turned around at the distraction. And rather than jeer like Carol and Tommy, he was rather happy to be met with yours and Eddie's faces. He was beaming an even brighter smile when he saw your intertwined hands but you quickly slipped yours out of Eddie's before he or his dumb friends could even think of commenting.

Eddie felt his heart plummet back to his shoes at the security that left him. 

"Y/n, you should invite Eddie," Steve pointed to Eddie as if to say ‘this is Eddie, this is who I am referring to’.

"Invite him to what?"

"Our party! Tonight!"

"Party?” You narrowed your eyes at him. “Steve, you can’t just throw a party just because Mom and Dad are gone. What about-"

"-It’s just a small gathering. Just us seven."

"Steve-"

"Eddie, you coming?" Steve cut you off before you could say anything.

Eddie’s eyes widened. He looked confused, scared, in the slightest. He was never invited to the small gatherings of popular kids. He had no idea what it would even be. And in the small gatherings he would do with his friends, they played D and D and smoked and listened to records or tested new music. They had a reason to meet up, something to discuss.  

"Um, yeah… sure?" He side eyed you, and you stared daggers back. He could tell this was annoying you more than you were leading on.

"Good," Steve clapped his hands.

"Oh and bring some stuff," Tommy smirked before patting Eddie's shoulder, Eddie tensing up at the touch.

"Alright," he awkwardly chuckled back, finding your gaze to seek any kind of help you could get from you.

"This is going to be amazing," Tommy rubbed his hands together, grinning from ear to ear, as if he could boss Eddie around and use him just to get some free drugs. 

"No, it’s not,” your tone may have been a bit too dry because every head turned towards you. You gave an uneasy look to Eddie before swallowing and continuing with the rest of your sentence. “because he is not going to bring anything, and we're not coming to this stupid party," you pinched the bridge of your nose, "Steve–can you please just leave us alone for five seconds."

"Never," he almost looked offended upon the request, putting a dramatic hand across his chest. “Y/n, you're my sister. It’s my job to annoy you.”

A beat fell upon the group. Steve rolled his eyes and crossed his arms around his chest while you huffed. Sibling banter hanging thickly through the air and no one really knowing how to make it go away. Everyone knew both of the Harrington siblings were headstrong, each more stubborn than the other.

It was an entrancing silence only either of you could break. Your eyes drifting towards Barb, she was looking at Nancy uneasily as she fixed her grip on her pink spiral notebook.

"You two are coming?" You questioned, your soft words slithering through the tension and making it evaporate into a mere memory.

"Yes!" Nancy beamed shyly. Barb looked as though she wanted to melt from the spotlight behind her and become one with the squeaky white hallway floors.

Nancy was about to continue, speak to something else but Tommy abruptly cut her off. "My god that's depressing," Everyone’s curiosity took the better of them and followed Tommy’s gaze towards whatever he was looking at behind Nancy. 

Johnathan Byers.

The Byers boy was awkwardly standing, a grim look on his face as he pinned a missing persons poster of his little brother on the board amongst the collection of theater posters and recruiting sheets of random clubs and sports teams.

You and Nancy looked at each other. Her sympathy bled from her hands. She was a good person and somewhere, you’d like to believe you were too even in your stubbornness. 

"We should go and say something," she said hesitantly but steadfastly to do so. 

"I don't think he speaks," Carol raised an eyebrow.

"I bet he killed him," Tommy snickered.

It made you sick. Jonathan’s pain was evident. You saw it in Dustin, you saw it in the boys he had grown so close with… Surely Mike had been upset in the Wheeler house which made Nancy more attune as well. But the fact that Tommy could assume such a thing about a boy, barely a man and no older than the lot of you, made you sick. 

And you wished you hadn’t dropped Eddie’s hand for the sake of comfort. 

~

Will Byers.

If there was a level of sweetness to rank the young boys of Hawkins, Indiana, Dustin would reign supreme but Will Byers would always be fighting for that spo. You figured that if he had disappeared into thin air and most of the town didn’t even think to care. Surely enough that assumption came true. Instead, you had people like Steve who only cared about making out with a pretty girl and throwing a dumb party on a school night and girls like Tammy Thompson who were too busy handing out neon pink flyers for the Spring Fling. 

All the while people like Joyce and Johnathan Byers were being ridiculed for caring about their smallest joy disappearing. 

It all seemed ridiculous. 

Ridiculous that not only Steve and his dumb friends, but most of Hawkins, were only thinking about themselves and what mattered in their lives. If it was a kid from the right side of the tracks, some neighborhood like Nancy lived in, everyone would be looking. There would be vigils and strange prayer groups in hopes that the kid would return. 

It made the grip you had on your bag tighter, knuckles going white as your nails dug into your palm. 

You truly hoped he was ok. 

Because if he wasn’t, you didn't know how you could handle seeing Dustin grieve for his closest friend or how you would be able to compose yourself from the pain. 

Those thoughts of Jonathan and where Will may be plagued you for the rest of the day. At your locker, you had been lost in a train of thought. The idea of Dustin being sad and the town forgetting a kind kid made your mind swirl. 

"Boo!" Two hands were draped over your shoulder, making you jolt out of your thoughts and your heart beat out of your chest. You only relaxed when a familiar laughter echoed behind you, turning around to be met with Eddie's mischevious grin.

"You have to stop doing that!" You playfully slapped his shoulder in return.

"Doing what?"

"Scaring me like this!"

"Come on,” he careened, “you love it and you know it’s fun.”

"Not for me," you bumped your shoulder into his as he had done that morning. This time, Eddie slung his arm around your shoulder and walked with you towards the parking lot. 

A rainbow of cars were parked as always; jocks at the wheels of their brand new convertibles while girls sat at the back, swooning over their million dollar smiles. It was the same every day and would always be the same every year. For god knows how long, the same archetypes would run the halls of Hawkins High and the same things would happen over and over again for generations to come. The same crown prince would date the crowned princess while bullying the misfits.

You wondered if the embroiled, eternal circle of Hell would ever come to an end.

"What are you going to do before the... small gathering?" Eddie’s voice felt relaxing amongst the crowd.

"I need to drop off Dustin at his friend's place and then homework, probably. If Steve allows me some peace. How about you?"

"Walk home… then attempt to read Romeo and Juliet."

"Oh my god! Is Eddie Munson finally going to do this homework!? Oh my god, even better, am I rubbing off on you?”

"Maybe," he smirked.

"Also, why walk?"

"Van's at the garage, problem with the gear shift. I brought it in last night."

"Oh,"

"Yeah, but I mean it's not that far, anyways."

"I could drop you off." 

"You don't have to."

"C'mon! Like this, I can hang out with you and we can work together! I don't think I can stand being in the house alone with Steve right now," you pouted, hooking onto the hopes of being as far from Steve for as long as you possibly could.

"Alright," he smirked. "I'll let you bring me home."

"Good. As long as you don't mind that we bring Dustin home first," you slipped the key into your car door and opened it in a swift move, slipping your bag into the back seat.

"I don't mind at all. He seems cool."

"He is. It's not usually one of my babysitting days but his mom wants to make sure he gets home safe with the disappearance of his friend." 

As if on cue, you heard Dustin's voice calling, screaming, your name in his usual enthusiastic tone and closing you into his traditional bear hug.

"How's my favorite troublemaker going?" you huffed, wrapping your arms around him.

"Doin' good," he mumbled against you. He wasn’t doing good, you knew that. 

"You sure?" 

"Yeah."

"Alright," you nodded and pulled away from his embrace. "I'm dropping you off at Mike's, right?” Dustin nodded his head. 

“Also, is it alright if my friend tags along?” You lifted your gaze to stare at Eddie who was awkwardly leaning on your car behind Dustin.

Dustin’s brow scrunched in confusion before following your gaze; his eyes lighting up when he came face to face with the metal head he couldn’t stop babbling about to his friends. He had heard a rumor of a D & D club at the high school he just couldn’t wait to join.

 "You're coming with us!?"

"Yeah," Eddie smiled back, a certain ego boost rising in his chest caused by the stars of admiration apparent in the young boy’s eyes.

"Awesome," Dustin breathed out, as if this was the best news since he read about the announcement of the new Zelda game. You blinked as you registered Dustin's enthusiasm. Somehow, Dustin's best friend was missing but all he could think about was how he was going to be in the same car as his new idol; Eddie Munson.

Dustin waited until everyone was settled; seatbelts fastened and car doors secured shut before popping the question that had been dancing on his lips the second he placed his butt onto your back seat. "So… are you two dating now?"

There was an awkward pause. Eddie looked at you like a deer in headlights, blush creeping on both your cheeks.

You didn't know how to reply. Eddie had made it clear he wanted to go out with you.

You had been acting strangely like a couple for the past few hours. Holding hands in the hallway, stolen kisses in between classes. Your heart beated faster than your thoughts and words escaped you without thinking twice.

"Yeah, kind of," a short smile creeping on your lips as you looked at Eddie for confirmation.

Eddie knew he shouldn’t have felt this relieved when the words left your lips. He had wanted that answer from you with every fiber in his bodyvbut he knew very well this wasn't supposed to be real. This was supposed to never go further than a few planned dates so that Steve could go on dates of his own.

But dammit did he want this to be real. He felt angry and nauseous at the same time, almost close to agony at the mere thought that this had all started around a stupid deal. 

He was beating himself up for not finding you sooner himself.

He knew he had to find a way. 

"OH MY GOD! I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!!" Eddie’s sulking was quickly shattered by Dustin’s piercing shriek and excited bounces. For a second he was scared the kid was going to hit his head on your car’s beige ceiling yet he seemed to have his bouncing up and down perfectly under control. 

"Dustin-"

"I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU GUYS," Eddie smiled a bit at the boy's adoration. He knew this kid was a keeper. A heart of gold to be paired with an amazing mind. He just hoped that once he reached high school, he wouldn’t let people like Steve or Tommy Hagan crush all his hopes and dreams in a single sentence.

Eddie wouldn’t be there to protect this kid. He wouldn’t be there to protect his friends and guide them in the adventure that was high school… he’d go on to bigger and better things and maybe, if life didn’t work out like he’d plan and he still stuck in this hellhole of a town, he’d cross paths with Dustin if he ever needed repairs to his potential future car.

"You two are like perfect for each other!" Dustin continued his happy rambles. 

"Really?" Eddie raised an eyebrow, a grin painted over his features as he turned to meet the kid’s eyes.

"Yeah!" He furiously nodded. "Y/n, I'm so glad you listened to me!"

"Dustin! Please–” you tried to stop the fountain of words that Dustin could spew be when he got overly excited.

"What's that now?" Eddie changed his gaze to you like a curious cat pulling on a string until he unraveled all the yarn laid out in front of him.

"Dustin said we should date–"

"I said you two should date!" The two sentences came out like music, mixing together to echo in the car and scramble together.

Eddie grinned from ear to ear, clicking his tongue as he leaned back against the leather seat, "talking about me behind my back I see."

"Only good things, I promise."

"Well, I'm so glad you finally have a boyfriend. Steve will finally stop bugging you." Dustin huffed, making you giggle.

“Hopefully,” you glanced at Eddie who tried to swallow the lump in his throat at the mention of your brother.

You quickly brought your stare back to the road, blushing when you remembered the use of the word boyfriend. It's not like you had labeled anything yet and Dustin was coming in like a hurricane, ready to pull out every potential seed that he found if that meant you got to be happy and prove a point to Steve. Trying so hard to be your mini wingman, even if it meant he had to annoy or embarrass you in the process. You loved him to bits and knew this was all coming from a place of love, however you were desperate to change the subject.

Whatever was happening with Eddie was too fresh and not something to discuss with a twelve year old. You rummaged your brain for anything to ask Dustin, but everything that came to mind was going to potentially remind him of Will.

"Do you listen to metal?" Eddie’s voice made you release the breath you didn’t know you were holding. Once again, your savior. 

"I tried to get him to but he says he never has the time to listen to the tapes I give him," you answered for Dustin.

"That's not true!"

"It is true Dustin! When I give you a tape, I miss my tape, so I ask for it back, and it turns out you didn't even listen to it!"

"Ok, fair enough. But I like what you put in the car when you pick me up. Especially the one band that's like… sabertooth something."

Sabertooth something. He absolutely has not, never in his life, listened to a tape you have given him. 

"Black Sabbath?" Eddie questioned. You didn’t know how Eddie even made that connection when you didn’t.

"Yeah! That one!"

"Oh my god, the kid has taste."

Before Dustin could answer, the car came to a stop. You thought you almost heard a whine leave Dustin’s lips when he spotted Mike's house from the passenger window.

“I don’t want to go,” Dustin melted in his seat. “Can I stay with you and Eddie?”

“Dustin, as much as I love you, Mike is waiting for you,” Dustin groaned, making slow moves to unbuckle his seat belt. “Don’t you have a campaign to do?”

“Yeah, yeah…” he mumbled, not giving you a full answer. He was elusive. At this time on any normal day, he’d catch you up on the progress of the campaign and complain about how Lucas or Mike were playing. Dustin said nothing. He just looked at the house in slight concern. Maybe for Will, maybe for something else.

A part of him just wanted to stay with Eddie and yourself. He wanted to know everything about Eddie Munson and find out if the rumors the 8th graders spoke of the Witch King were true. Eddie didn’t even seem like a villain. He didn’t seem like the freak everyone at the malt shop said or the scary metal head the people at the pool gossiped about. 

"Can we hang out with Eddie more often?" He asked hopefully.

"Yeah, we can," you let out a breathy laugh at his expression. "Now go! Mike is waiting for you and don't forget to call your mom! She's going to be worried sick."

"Yeah, yeah," he whined again as he put  his bag on and opened the door. "I'll leave you and your boyfriend alone," he rolled his eyes and swung the door to a close.

"Bye, Dustin!" You waved your hand and he did the same before taking fast steps toward Mike's house.

Silence fell in the car as you watched Dustin waddle his way over to the white door of Mike’s home. His curly hair bounced as he did. He rang the bell and waited, turning around to meet your gaze and giving you his best toothless smile. You waved a last time before the door swung open behind him to reveal Mrs. Wheeler–well dressed as always. She rushed Dustin in, not noticing your car before closing the door which made her and Dustin disappear behind the perfect suburban house.

Neither of you wanted to be the one to break the silence. 

Dustin's happiness still hanging in the air, both your cheeks hurting from his contagious smile. It was far from uncomfortable, sitting in a car with a giddy smile on your lips and Eddie Munson by your side.

"Boyfriend, hm?" Eddie smiled to himself.

"What?" You turned your head to face him, only to see that he was already staring at you.

"He called me your boyfriend."

"Oh yeah..." you felt the heat rise as the word sunk in.

"I like how that sounds, to be honest." Eddie hated himself for speaking. Digging himself a bigger hole than the one he was already trapped in. Yet everything felt so right.

"I kind of do too," you played with the sleeve of your sweater.

Eddie stayed frozen for a moment, contemplating his next move. His gaze was burning on you as he watched your shy demeanor. He was sure you were going to undo the seams of your sleeve by tugging so hard on the loose string, he could see the turmoil of thoughts reflecting on your features and hard focus on anything that wasn’t him. Trying to find an escape.

Eddie stopped you, grabbing your hand in his, the movement making you look up.

He gave you his sweetest smile, making your heart leap in your chest, feeling him lean in. Left hand coming up to cup your jaw, thumb grazing over the soft skin of your cheek that was burning from his touch. Not a doubt clouded Eddie's mind as he leaned in to kiss you. Not a single ounce of regret flooded him as his lips moved in sync with yours, his hand holding yours tighter.

He would find a way out of this mess he put himself in.

He had too. 

If not for his own sanity, than for yours.

~

"Is that a Millennium Falcon keychain?" You noticed as Eddie's keys clinked together when he held them up to the door, sliding it into the keyhole.

"Yeah," Eddie chuckled. "You didn't notice it last time?"

"Sadly not," you smiled as he opened the door, waiting for you to get in before he did. He closed it behind you, dropping the keys in the fish shaped key bowl on the counter by the door and sloppily removing his shoes, messily tucking them under said counter. 

You removed your own shoes, dropping your bag next to them before following him further towards the kitchen area.

"Do you want anything to drink? Soda, water?" Eddie opened a wooden cupboard, grabbing two tinted blue glasses and placing them on the counter behind him. 

"Water, please," you spoke, admiring as Eddie grabbed one of the two glasses, filling it with water from the tap before handing it to you first. 

"Here's your water, my lady."

"Thank you very much," you winked, taking a sip before looking over to your backpack. "So, we've got some Shakespeare to read and I have history questions to do."

"I'm afraid so..." He looked at you, defeat evident in his eyes.

"It will be alright!” You cheered, “where do you want to work?"

"In my room?"

"Is this a pretext of getting me in your bed, Munson?" you raised an eyebrow and Eddie froze on the spot. The wheels in his brain coming to a stop as you stared back at him with a cheeky smile. "I'm kidding," you chuckled at the look on his face. "Working in your room is perfect."

"Alright," he gave you a nervous chuckle before opening another cupboard and finding a pack of already opened cookies, placing them on the counter between the two of you.

"Can I ask you a question?" Eddie wondered as he grabbed a cookie from the bottom of the plastic package and handed it to you.

You took the cookie, raising an eyebrow before answering, "go ahead."

"How do you do it?"

"Do what?" 

"Handle a brother like Steve," you chuckled at the question. 

“I just don’t,” you took a bite of the cookie Eddie had handed you. “You saw what happened Friday. I survive with a brother like Steve, because I genuinely know I cannot do anything to change him.”

"Fair enough," he grabbed another cookie from the pack, taking a bite out of it before dropping it on the counter and turning to the fridge.

"My turn to ask a question,"

"Go ahead," he answered as he grabbed a carton of milk. Closing the fridge before turning back towards you.

"Where were you for a month last fall? Not jail, I hope?" 

Christ. He couldn’t believe you knew he was gone for so long. He didn’t imagine anyone except his five friends knowing he wasn’t there. 

"Why, you’re scared your new boyfriend has a criminal record?" He raised a challenging eyebrow, the word boyfriend still making butterflies flutter in your stomach.

"No," you rolled your eyes, watching as Eddie poured himself the milk in his still empty glass. He pointed the carton towards you in a silent question, you nodded, chugging the last of your water down before sliding him the glass. "Couldn't care less, honestly. Just curious, people say so many different things…” You trailed on with a cheeky smile, “jail, short-lived porn star career, cult leader, the list goes on. Forgive me for being curious."

"Definitely none of those," he snorted at your list, dipping his half eaten cookie in the milk and taking a large bite. He waited until he finished chewing and swallowed before answering.

 "I was with um, I was visiting my dad while he was on his deathbed."

"Oh," you looked down at your own glass of milk, you seriously didn't mean to open this can of worms. You had never heard a mention of Eddie’s parents and you seriously didn’t mean to intrude in on something that seemed so private to him.

"Hated every minute, to be honest."

"That bad?" You looked back up.

"Well, you know I didn't always live in the trailer park with my uncle," he wiped the cookie crumbs from his fingers on the side of his jeans before leaning closer to you agasin't the counter, "I use to be in an alright apartment, with both my parents," he reached for your free hand, still splayed on the countertop, "of course, I didn't know we were squatters back then, but then my mom died when I was 8 and my dad left, leaving me here with Wayne." 

"That must have sucked," you let him play with your fingers, a pause settling in before you lifted your gaze and made eye contact with him. It was not an uncomfortable one, almost peaceful as his words hung in the air. 

"Yeah," he made a funny face, "he left and ended up meeting this bimbo who I guess managed to put him on the right track. Made him a new family and shit," that took all the words out of you.

"So yeah, I wasn't in jail, or attempting a porn star career; although I might have preferred to be doing that,” he chuckled. “I was visiting him and his new perfect cookie-cutter family. It was a fiasco," he chuckled to himself. "His new wife didn't want to introduce me to her kids as their brother so I was always baptized as Wayne's kid, their freaky cousin from bum-fuck-nowhere, Indiana. She was throwing daggers at me half the time and I spent most of my days at the neighboring mini golf getting high with the manager."

"You did what?" You smiled at the absurdity.

He matched your smile, "he kept playing Metallica and Ozzy, I had to befriend him. Freaks with freaks, am I right?"

"Yeah," you squeezed his hand, "freaks with freaks."

You didn't know how the air felt so light after what Eddie had dropped on you. Maybe it was the matching look in each of your gazes, or how normal this all felt. A pause lingered in the air. You could tell Eddie had processed this whole crazy situation he had been in. You thought it was a shame he'd probably have to redo a year because of that. But maybe it wouldn't be so bad if it meant you'd do your Senior year with him by your side.

This brought you back to your purpose of being here with Eddie.

"Maybe we should get to work," you patted his hand.

"Yeah,"

~

"I cannot do this," Eddie huffed, dropping his book on his lap. You watched as the book opened itself like an accordion and fell open on his bed. Eddie roughly leaned his head against his wall, groaning when his head collided against the hard material. 

"What's wrong?" you peaked from your history book.

"This is barely English," he lifted Romeo and Juliet up from his lap and held it by two fingers like it was a dead animal.

"You can read all of Tolkein's work but not Romeo and Juliet?"

"That's different. Tolkein's English is way smoother to read."

"Hm," you smiled, bringing your attention back to the paragraph on the Russian Revolution you were previously reading. Something about the murder of the Romanovs and the supposed victories that followed for the Bolsehviks. "You’ve already read it haven’t you?"

"Yes, but a long time ago. I’m taking my time rereading it," you flipped to the next page, hoping the chapter on the first world war would end there but your eyes fell upon yet another two page section about the consequences of the war on the world. Your eyes quickly danced across a paragraph detailing the problems soldiers faced. You sighed, lazily taping Eddie’s beige carpet with the pink eraser on the back of your pencil. 

"Ugh, I don’t know how you do it." Eddie spoke again after a long beat of silence, a new minute of him trying to focus as much of his strength as he could to make sense of the scrambled letters in his hands. He dropped the book again, and flopped to the side like a dead fish. Letting his head and one of his arms drop by the side of his bed. Staring at you now upside down.

"Dramatic much?"

He groaned in response.

You looked up to him from your place on the floor, giving him a silent laugh as you took in his state. His eyes were closed as another dramatic groan escaped his lips, hands flying on his face in desperation. You bit the eraser at the end of your pencil, contemplating your next move.

"Alright, I’ll help you," you closed your textbook and shuffled to stand up, shaking the soreness out of your legs. Eddie mumbled something barely audible when he heard you move.

You picked the book from the spot it had been thrown and flipped through the pages until ACT 2 was written in bold across the white paper.

"Move aside,” you nudged him, making him roll over so he was correctly placed against his pillow, leaving room for you. You climbed on the bed and moved until you were resting against his side, head cosied up on his shoulder.

"What are you doing?" Eddie mumbled as he wrapped his hand around your waist, mindlessly starting to draw circles on your exposed skin.

"Reading it to you,"

"You don't have to,"

"I know, but I want to. Like this, I'm rereading it and learning too," Eddie blinked as he stared at the top of your head, intently watching as you cleared your throat.

“Act 2, Scene 2. In Capulet's garden, Romeo enters.” 

“Romeo: But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief,” Eddie felt his breath catch in his throat. When you spoke the words, Eddie could comprehend every meaning behind it, and his mind, against his own will, twisted the meanings to relate them to you. Was he doomed to feel like Romeo?

“Juliet appears at the window,” you continued, and Eddie felt himself squeeze the side of your arm in realization. “Romeo: It is my lady, O, it is my love! O, that she knew she was! She speaks, yet she says nothing. What of that?” You sighed, expecting any comments from your usually talkative boyfriend, but nothing. You looked up to be met with eyes full of thoughts. 

“All ok up there?”

“Y- yeah,” he breathed, “you make it easy to understand.”

“Hm,” you giggled, cheeks warming up at the feeling of Eddie’s hand on your arm and his lips close to your ear. “Really?” 

He kissed your temple as a reply.

He meant every word. 

Not only does hearing you reading make the words clear in his mind, organizing themselves like the perfect melody Shakespeare meant it to be. But the words resonated with something stronger in him. As if the feelings Romeo was crying out were ripped straight out of his chest and burned into the pages you were holding.

You were holding in your hands what his heart was yearning to scream.

~

“I hate this,” you looked at Tommy’s car from the windshield. You could hear the music playing from the garden and Tommy Hagan’s laughter and to top it off, Steve’s faint voice as he rambled on about whatever had annoyed him that day. 

“It will be alright, I promise,” Eddie offered, grazing your arm with his finger tips in an attempt to bring you some comfort, however, perhaps he was the one who needed it that evening.

He could hear the splash of your pool from the other side of the house, and it made him feel as though he was walking straight through a shark tank. Swimming straight for the enemy that could sense the smallest drop of blood; the smallest crack in his armor.

But you made that armor ten times stronger and there was no way Eddie Munson was going to let Steve Harrington and Tommy Hagan see him bleed. 

“Hm,” your grumble brought him back to the present, watching as you aggressively grabbed your bag and slipped out of your car, Eddie trailing not far behind.

You opened the door to your house, your R2D2 keychain making music as it clinked agains’t the rest of your keys. You grabbed the right key, the biggest silver one out of the 3 that hung around the ring. You reluctantly turned the silver object in the lock, ready to meet your doom.

From the look on your face he thought you were getting ready to fight the battle of Helm’s deep. Ready to fight an endless battle against the most vile creatures of Mordor, no hopes of winning and the odds far from being in your favor.

But the Fellowship did win the Battle of Helm’s deep. 

The door opened to reveal a big but homely house. A variety of shoes stood against the entry hall wall, from Steve’s basketball sneakers to the Reeboks Eddie had seen you wear multiple times. Hagan’s Nikes were next to Carol’s Vans; and you fought the urge to throw in the trash Tommy’s bright green hoodie that hung next to your blue and yellow windbreaker.

“You can take off your shoes and hang your jacket here if you want,” you smiled, pointing to the corner filled with all the clothes of the teenagers currently in the house. You slipped your own shoes off and dropped your bag on a yellow chair by the door to the kitchen. 

You sighed as you watched Eddie remove his own shoes and shrug off his jacket.

“Ready to infiltrate the enemy?” 

“As long as you’re by my side.”

It was everything you knew it would be. A soaked from head to toe Tommy chasing Carol across your parents garden in an attempt to throw her into the pool. On one of the old white sun chairs sat an uncomfortable Barb with a glass of water dancing between her fingers. Steve shared a sunchair with Nancy who was blushing at whatever stupid joke he had whispered in her ear, and in between all of that two packs of unopened beer sat piled on the small black and green garden table.

“This looks… fun?” Eddie raised an eyebrow, watching you roll your eyes and step forward. 

You huffed, barely muttering a hello to your brother and your friends as you ripped the cardboard of one of the six packs open and grabbed two beers. You threw one to Eddie and opened yours, taking a long well needed sip, bracing for their greetings.

“Munson!” Steve cheered, standing up from his spot next to Nancy.

“Harrington,” he nodded a bit stiff as Steve roughly patted his back. “Welcome to the crib!” He chuckled and you wondered how many beers he already had from how loud he was talking. 

Tommy stopped running after his girlfriend once he spotted Eddie, a large grin plastered on his punchable face and hovered towards you.

“Eddie, my man!” Tommy cheered as though he was his new best friend, giving him a handshake before taking a step back and asking, “you got the stuff?”

“Yeah,” Eddie fished for the packet of weed in the back pocket of his jeans before throwing it in Tommy’s hand.

“Thanks man,” he winked before waltzing over to the other corner of the pool where had already prepared some rolling paper and other random tools you couldn’t see from that far. All neatly laid out on a mossy wooden block that your parents had meant to throw away weeks ago.

You laid up on one of the empty sun chairs, eyeing Eddie. You watched him fumble with his hands, awkwardly playing with the can of beer in his hands and looking for something to fiddle with. You’d learn it was a habit of his when he felt nervous. He met your gaze and you silently nudged him to come over. You folded your legs together so he had room to sit in front of you.

You placed a reassuring hand on his thigh, and Eddie placed a ring cladded hand on top of yours. You blew him a kiss before looking to your left to where Barbara and Nancy were still sitting, he intently watched as you gave Barb a short smile and took a new sip of your beer.

“Hey! want some?” Tommy placed the freshly lit blunt in front of Nancy’s face, she politely declined and Tommy shrugged, not caring to make any comments before taking a new drag for himself. He silently asked Barbara but he got the same answer, an answer he expected anyways, and turned around towards you and Eddie.

“I know you won’t say no,” he joked and Eddie tried to hand him a smile as he took the joint out of his hand and took a drag for himself. “It’s good stuff by the way,” Tommy commented as Eddie blew smoke to the side, making sure it didn’t get in your face.

“I know,” he spoke, “but you’re half ruining it by rolling it like that,” he scanned the joint in his hand, inspecting it and indeed seeing the crooked way Tommy had folded it, he almost winced as if Tommy had made damage to something greater than him. “My grandmother rolls better than this, Hagan.”

You watched in amusement as Tommy’s eyes widened in an amused shock, not expecting that comment from the drug dealer in front of him. He was sure he knew how to roll well, he’d been doing it occasionally and most of his friends never complained. 

Tommy stayed dumbfounded and couldn’t answer until the words registered. He shrugged it off, pretending Eddie made false accusations before walking over to the other side of the pool to greedily make a new one to prove to Eddie that he wasn’t as bad as he was saying.

Once Hagan was out of the way and Eddie had already taken one to many drags, you moved your hand towards him, making grabby hands at the stress relieving gold between his fingers. 

He laughed at your eagerness, letting your fingers linger as they brushed against yours to grab your last hope to stay sane tonight.

Your eyes scanned the sky, trying to enjoy the beautiful sunset that tumbled upon the tall Hawkins tree. You wished you could have been elsewhere, maybe at lovers lake, playing truth or dare with Eddie as you sipped on homemade cocktails you threw into to-go cups. 

But as the weeds seeped in and you watched the sky turn from its pink and orange colors, you thought that maybe this wasn’t going to be so bad. Especially if the weed kept tumbling and Eddie stuck by your side.

Steve stole the blunt from you after your third drag, nagging something about how you should keep some for the others. He blew smoke to the side before looking at his watch, sighing before flicking his wrist, making his watch place itself better on his wrist and looked at you, “Y/n/n, do you have any cash on you?”

“No, why?” You threw your head back on the chair to catch his face.

“Because I ordered Pizza.”

“And? You expect me to pay?”

“No, no, totally not,” his lie made you groan in annoyance, wiggling your feet out of their criss-cross position to lay them out across Eddie’s lap. “I was just wondering,” he rolled his eyes, and as if on cue, the doorbell rang.

“I have some cash, if you want?” Eddie chimed in, rubbing circles on your ankles as he eyed your brother, and could see Tommy smirking like a madman from the corner of his eye. They all knew where the cash in question was coming from and Eddie felt even more guilty from the knowing looks they were giving him.

“Nah, S’okay, keep your well earned money Munson,” he waved his hand and smirked, Eddie’s chest stinging at the comment.

His gaze went back to you. You said something he didn’t catch to Nancy, happy you had stopped paying any attention to their conversation. 

He just experienced the first shark attack; subtle but all the same painful.

Eddie knew he was playing a dangerous game by being here tonight.

“Eddie, could you help me?” Steve took a last drag of the joint and handed it back to Tommy who was probably going to finish it and light up a new  one by the time they got back with the pizza’s.

“Yeah, sure,” Eddie grabbed your ankles, lifting them up from him and back down on the hard panels of the sun chair making you instantly divert your attention back to him.

“Hey, where are you going?” 

“Helping your brother with the pizza’s, baby,” he smiled, kissing your forehead before following your brother into the house. 

You watched attentively as Eddie disappeared behind the glass door, unapologetically checking him out.

“Y/n/n, can I talk to you for a minute,” Barbara broke you out of your staring, making you blink out of whatever trance Eddie had you in.

“Yeah of course, Barb,” 

“In private?” 

“Oh, sure,” you dropped your can of beer on the floor, sliding it under your chair to minimize the chances of it getting spilled by a clumsy Tommy Hagan or Steve.

You fixed your jeans as you stood up, following Barbara down the stone path that led further down towards the forest parts of your garden.

“What’s up?” You questioned, folding your arms together, as if to shield yourself from any of her comments, and maybe from the slight wind that started blowing.

“You’ve got to be careful with Eddie.”

“Why?” You frowned, biting at your nails. “You’ve seen how he is, Eddie’s a sweetheart, Barb.”

She frowned even more than you, “yeah, but don’t you think it’s weird he’s only shown interest in you right around the time your brother got this new rule from your parents? And not only that but Steve has been acting really weirdly these past few days–”

“Barb, it’s Steve,” you cut her off, “he’s always acting weird,” you rolled her eyes and chuckled. A sharp laugh that made Barb look down to her feet. “Eddie makes me happy, okay? That’s all you need to know and that’s all that matters right now, okay?”

“Right,” the white toe of her shoe collided with a small rock on the ground, she rolled it around for what felt like a second too long before speaking again, “just think about it, please?”

“Barb, let’s get back to the party, okay?”

~

“I can’t believe you got my mutant sister to date you, man. Good job, honestly,” Steve chuckled, shaking his head as he grabbed his wallet from a wooden console in the hallway and continued his way towards the door. 

Eddie frowned at Steve’s obliviousness. He seemed to be blind to the fact that you were truly infatuated with Eddie, forgetting the part where this was all a twisted deal. This made a new kind of ache rise inside his stomach.

Did your brother really care so little about you?

Eddie’s eyes trailed from the bowl that previously sheltered Steve’s wallet, not half full with keys and other trinkets Eddie didn’t know the use of. He looked up from it and noticed the frames hanging above the furniture. A green wooden frame caught his eye, a picture of you and Steve hugging. You must have been about five and six and Eddie wondered when it all started going down between the two of you. At which point did a flip switch in Steve to become the coldhearted douchebag he was today.

“Parallel universe where we got along,” Steve joked before nudging Eddie to join him by the door. Eddie expected for Steve to open the front door but instead he opened his wallet in half and slipped out two green bills. 

“Here, as promised. That’s for tonight,” he handed Eddie a fifty, the brightest smirk plastered on his traits. He was happy, his investment was paying off. Eddie noticed the other bill was also a fifty, and he hoped he had ordered fifty dollars worth of pizza, because he thought he was going to throw up if it was another payment for another ‘task’ he’d have him do, another place he needed to take you.

“And that’s to take her to the Spring Fling,” Eddie didn’t make a move to grab the money, Steve didn’t seem to care and almost stuffed it into his hand. As if he was a vampire touching silver, Eddie felt the money burn his fingers, “and please, please convince her to go, my parents would never let me if she doesn’t.”

“Yeah, yeah I know the drill, Harrington,” the words felt bitter in his mouth. He stumbled a bit on his words, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to prepare his next words, he was ready to cut the deal off, give him the money back and pretend this deal never happened. 

But Steve opened the door before he could get a word out, and Eddie instantly recognised the delivery boy as a client of his.

A young redhead who had graduated Hawkins High a year ago, he remembered learning that he was saving for college with his job at the one Surfer Boy Pizza location Hawkins had, but Eddie also knew that he was using a crazy amount of his savings on weed, and other shit, because half of the profit he’d made in the last few months came from him alone.

“Oh! Hey, Munson!” The boy’s face lit up when he recognised his dealer, “didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Makes two of us,” Eddie offered a smile, grabbing half of the pizza boxes while Steve handed him the money and grabbed the rest of the boxes himself, “I’ll see you later.”

“Yep,” the redhead grinned and Steve bidded him goodbye before closing the door with his foot.

“Thanks for the help,” he muttered, trotting to the back of the house. Eddie watched as Steve skillfully opened the door with his elbow, and the cool spring air hit his face again.

“Pizza's here!” Everyone cheered, and the two boys dropped the boxes on the now empty sunchair that used to host you and Eddie minutes prior.

You walked up to Eddie, melting at his side as he draped an arm around your waist. 

“Did my brother annoy you?”

“No,” Eddie chuckled, a little awkwardly, his eyes darting to Steve who was circling the garden to turn on the lights.

The sky was darker now, night starting to shine in all its glory, taking it the reassurance of sunlight with it. Everyone seemed to be in a good mood though, weed had started to take over and the first beer pack had already disappeared into a pile of empty cans. 

This was going to be a long night.

~

“So, you and Eddie hmm?”

“It’s none of your business.”

“Oh, but it so is my business.” Steve had the biggest smile on, the smile only faltering as he took another sip of his beer, chugging the end in one go.

"Oh, but it so isn't,” you caught Eddie’s eye from the other side of the pool, he was teaching Tommy how to roll a proper joint.

You watched as Eddie smiled, a freshly rolled joint in between his fingers while Tommy was grumbling something you couldn’t understand. Eddie, shrugging before standing up, tucking the cigarette on his ear as he made his way to you. 

Tommy’s ego seemed to have calmed down and his thoughts soon caught the attention of something else. A devilish glint in his eyes as he ran across the pool and grabbed Carol by the waist, threatening to throw her in the pool. 

She screamed, a piercing scream that made almost everyone giggle–even you. 

“Stop it Tommy! Don’t!” She screamed until she was back on her two feet and you kind of wished he had thrown her in.

Steve left your side to grab a beer, piercing a hole through the bottom before opening the can and chugging it in one go. He made eye contact with you, throwing you one and you grabbed the knife closest to you to do the same. You watched as Steve slung himself across one of the lounge chairs by Nancy, trying to be as cool as possible but his poor attempts weren’t invisible. 

“Is that supposed to impress me?” Nancy raised an eyebrow and you rolled your eyes at your brother’s nonchalance.

Eddie grabbed a beer, not paying any mind to Nancy and your brother as he made his way to you. You stood up from your sunchair and Eddie almost told you to stay put. That he’d just sit on the floor next to you but your actions were faster.

You made him sit down and you didn’t hesitate one second to sit on his lap, making yourself comfortable against him, legs tangling with each other on the extension of the chair. 

“This is way more comfortable than the floor,” he whispered in your ear as his arm found its way across your waist. 

“I know right?” You brought him into the most tender kiss, the way he made you feel all soft and mushy on the inside seeping through. 

He smiled once you leaded away, smiling as you grabbed the swiss knife back from the garden table next to you and imitated your brother’s earlier actions–piercing a hole at the bottom of your can, and opening it, chugging the whole thing in one go.

“Oh, is this some kind of Harrington super power?” Eddie raised an eyebrow, making you laugh. 

“Maybe, maybe,” you laughed and Eddie did too. The sounds of laughter are contagious to each other. You bumped your forehead into the side of his head lovingly and Eddie could feel your smile against his cheek.

“Thanks for coming tonight,” you whispered. “Without you, I don’t know what I’d be doing right now. Probably planning my next murder attempt on Steve,”

“Oh, because there’s been a first one?”

“A few.” 

“Very metal of you, baby.”

“Hey, Barb, are you ok?” Nancy’s voice caught your attention, snapping you out of your bubble. 

You watched as Barb clutched her hand, blood dripping out of it.

“I’m fine,”

“Barb, you’re bleeding.”

“I said I’m fine,” she shrugged Nancy’s help off and turned to Steve. “I’ll just go, clean up,” she nodded and you stood up from your spot in Eddie’s arms, grabbing her shoulder before she could take a step further. 

“Hey Barb, I’ll go help you wrap that up. It doesn’t look good.”

“I’ll be fine Y/n/n, I don’t need your help,” she muttered, almost bumping into your shoulder before disappearing behind your back door.

“Awkward,” Tommy snicked, trying to relieve the tension. It made Carol and Steve laugh while you and Nancy shared a worried glance. This wasn’t like Barb at all. 

But the tension quickly dissipated. Tommy knew very well what to do to save the night and pushed Carol into the pool only to  jump after her. Steve did the same with Nancy and you took it as your cue to grab Eddie’s hand, making him leave his spot on your uncomfortable chair and jump with you in the pool. 

The water felt colder than you expected. You hadn’t been in the pool since September, even if you had reopened and cleaned the pool only about a week ago, and the air still held on to the bits of winter, persuading you to stay in the comfort of your bedroom instead of taking a swim.

Barb seeped out of everyone’s minds as water splashed across the space. Steve splashing Nancy but the hit also falling onto you and Eddie who tread behind her. 

The six of you fell into a loud water fight, making the concrete slabs beside of your pool sopping wet and the water even reaching the empty pizza boxes that were all cramped up in a corner by your small garden table. 

You were so enthralled in watching Nancy trying to swim away from the menace that your brother could be, that you didn’t realize Eddie was behind you, making an easy strike as he grabbed you, enveloping you in his arms and pulling you closer by the waist. You squealed before you realized it was him, your back hitting his chest. You quickly melted in his embrace as his lips hovered the shell of your ear.

He whispered something you unfortunately didn’t catch over everyone's screaming, so you turned around in his arms to ask him what it was but by the time you were face to face with him, he pulled you into a kiss and dragged you down under the water with him, taking you by surprise. You pulled away, letting out a surprised breath under water, bubbles seeping out to climb the surface, but you quickly registered the gesture, and pulled him back into the kiss. 

You were both laughing messes once you reached the surface, panting from being deprived of oxygen. Eddie pushed some wet locks out of your face, staring at you with star filled eyes. 

A certain melancholy seeped through him as he watched you in awe–mesmerized by you. Your eyelashes filled with droplets of water, and your hair going crazy. He got closer, whispering something you this time heard loud and clear.

“Where were you all my life?”

You felt yourself grabbing his shoulder; a way to anchor yourself because if you didn't, you didn’t know how you could keep your knees from buckling and keep yourself from drowning. The water might have been freezing cold, but your entire body felt like fire under his touch.

“Right here,” you whispered back, pressing a kiss to his cheek before resting your forehead against his.

“Why so far?” Butterflies rose to your stomach and even though the others were screeching and screaming behind you, you felt like it was only you and Eddie, holding each other in the corner of your pool.

“Hey lovebirds!” Of course, Tommy had to break the moment, sending a giant wave of water towards the two of you, making you snap out of your love spell and back to harsh reality.

~

“Here,” you grabbed one of your blue striped towels from the pool shed and handed it to Eddie.

“Thank you,” he placed it around his shoulders. He watched intently as you grabbed your own towel and started wrapping yourself around it, closing the pool shed right after. 

You gazed up, watching as Steve and Nancy went inside the house, towels of their own wrapped around their shoulders, Carol and Tommy quickly following. 

You shivered. The briskness of night setting in, reminding you this was only a random Wednesday night of April. It wasn’t a time to swim or take a dip in the pool just for kicks–It was spring as it barely emerged from a winter that you wished had morphed into the endless summer nights where the sun stayed high longer and you wouldn’t freeze the second you exited the pool.

“C’mon, let’s get you some dry clothes.”

Eddie nodded, and followed you in, noticing the way your damp hair swooshed with the wind as you walked, and the way you smiled as the warmth of the house engulfed you whole the second you stepped inside.

Eddie walked in after you, and you made sure the door was closed before wrapping your hand around his and walked further into the dim lighted room, right until you reached the brightly lit corridor.

“Hey Barb,” you frowned as you saw her, standing by your front door. “Everything ok?” 

She watched with big eyes as your hand wrapped around the white railing of the staircase, other hand wrapped around Eddie’s as he trailed behind you. 

“Yeah, yeah,” she dismissed it, watching as Eddie pressed the towel he held in his free hand against his wet curls, frowning at the redhead before him. 

Even he knew she was lying. 

“Where’s Nance?” You asked, perched up on the third step while Eddie played with the wet belt loops of your jeans, intently watching as you tried to know more of the reason behind your friend’s frown.

“Upstairs with your brother.”

“Ah,” you nodded, biting the inside of your cheek in thought. 

“I’m going to go home,” she looked down at her shoes averting yours and Eddie’s gaze as best she could.

“You sure?” You frowned again, and Eddie squeezed the side of your waist in an attempt to sooth your thoughts. “Eds and I are just going to get dry clothes and then we’ll come back downstairs. We could play Uno?” You offered, remembering when you’d pull out your Uno deck at any given chance during boring school field trips, Nancy always complaining because she was so bad at it while Barb often took the win.

You could see the hesitancy in her eyes, memories flashing before her. “Thanks, but it’s late,” she cleared her throat and fixed her glasses. 

You knew there was something else behind her voice, a sort of strain that told you ‘I don’t want to be more of a bother than I already am’. 

“Alright, well, be careful ok?” You smiled and started making your way back up the stairs, Eddie nodding to Barb before following you up. 

“Oh, and Y/n/n,” she caught your attention before you could reach the last step, waiting until you met her eyes before continuing; “please think on what I’ve told you,” your gaze softened and you had to prevent yourself from looking at Eddie, not to raise any suspicion that he was the lead subject of her words.

You had no intent on doing so, but just to give her a piece of mind you spoke, like a dance in the wind, “I will Barb, promise. Get home safely.” 

You saw her shoulders slump from the corner of your eye as you climbed the last step, before taking a left towards your room.

“Well, since Steve is occupied, I can’t ask him for anything,” you looked behind you as you opened the door to your bedroom, Eddie’s big eyes intently staring back, “but I do own oversized band tees and stole a pair of sweats from Steve two weeks ago so you could use that?” You offered and Eddie couldn’t help the laughter that tumbled out of him at the proposition.

“That would be more than perfect.”

The door of your bedroom closed behind you with a soft thud, and Eddie found himself mesmerized by how similar your bedrooms were. Posters against posters, and a huge shelf with more fantasy books than Eddie could count. His mind went back to the first time Steve sat at the Hellfire table, while Eddie read through the list of books he’d found in your room. Indeed Steve hadn’t been lying, and the list he’d read on the crumpled white paper with Harrington’s sloppy handwriting found itself manifesting on your wooden shelves. 

His eyes scanned every shelf and he found himself ogling at your Tolkein collection–all hardbacks with different colors and the recurring T symbol. Eddie had never seen such a beautiful collection of Tolkein’s work. 

“My uncle gave them to me before he died, they’re pretty cool, don’t you think?” 

“I think I’m falling in love with them,” you chuckled at his antics.

“Some of them are signed.”

“No way, can I?” He pointed towards the collections.

“Of course, Eddie. The Hobbit is signed if you want to see.”

Eddie pulled out the blue book in awe, fingers delicately dancing across the pages.  

“You should see mine,” he smirked, “ripped out front covers and dead spines. I accidently burnt the first page of the two towers because I was smoking while reading, and Oliver, so not accidentally dropped his chewed gum in the middle of my Hobbit book.”

“Why?” You raised an eyebrow at the absurdity.

“He was mad because I accidentally scratched his guitar.”

“Well, wouldn’t you be mad if he stretched your Warlock?”

“Yeah, but that’s different. His was an old guitar that didn’t ring well, he was about to get a new one, anyways,” Eddie rolled his eyes before he continued to scan your shelves. “Oh my god, is that a mini replica of the millennium falcon?” He placed the copy of your hobbit back on the shelf, and grabbed the Star Wars miniature, eyes wide like a child who discovered his new favorite toy.

“Yeah,” you smiled as you opened your cupboard, scanning the shelves for the sweat pants and shirt you had promised Eddie. You threw two oversized Metallica shirts on your bed, and found sweatpants for you before finally getting your hands on Steve’s gray sweatpants. “I got it last summer when we went to California,” you spoke, grabbing the biggest shirt out of the two and the gray pants, handing them to Eddie as he placed the small figurine back on your shelf. 

“I love it,” he kissed your cheek, thanking you for the clothes.

“Bathroom is in the corridor, first door on your left,” you pecked his lips, watching him as he scurried out of your room.

You sighed, a giddy smile on your lips as you changed into dry clothes of your own. When Eddie came back, he couldn’t keep his eyes from roaming the room. There was so much stuff he wasn’t sure where to look first. 

He saw a stuffed Chewbacca on your bed, right by where your head laid, and snatched it from the spot. He sat at the edge of your mattress, turning it to you and making Chewbacca noises.

“You know what, Chewie? I agree,” you played along and Eddie continued his Chewie noises as if the doll was speaking.

You giggled, grabbing the plushie from Eddie and scooting yourself closer, kissing him silly. 

Eddie’s hand found its place on your waist, pulling you closer but the kiss was broken by your ever growing smiles.

“You’re so silly, you know that?” You muttered, smiling like an idiot.

“And that’s why you like me so much.” 

“You’re right,” you kissed him again, lips melting with him and moving in perfect sync. It was everything your previous kisses weren’t. Passionate and burning with envy as your hand found its place in his hair, gently tugging on his curls. Eddie groaned in your mouth as you continued gently pulling onto his locks, making a moan leave your own lips.

Eddie thought he was going to go crazy. His hand traveled up your thigh, pushing you up so you sat on his lap, hungrily kissing the corner of your lips before continuing his way down your jaw.

"Come to the dance with me," Eddie mumbled against your skin, kisses trailing lower until he found the spot that made you shiver.

"What?" You half moaned from the attention he was giving you and half chuckled at the absurdity of the question.

"Come to the dance with me," his voice was more serious now, a slight pant in his breath. He stopped what he was doing and straightened up, eyes leveling with yours.

"No, no, I heard you. Why?" You pushed a strand of hair away from his eyes. “I thought you hated that kind of stuff, because I definitely do.”

"Gareth is going with a girl he really likes and he doesn't want to be the only Hellfire guy there," he half lied. Oliver was going too but you didn't need to know that, yet.

You sighed, fingers dancing across the Metallica writing on the chest of his shirt.

“Eds-”

“Think about it, please?” 

You bit your lip, looking up to meet his big chocolate eyes, peering at you almost like a lost puppy; how could you refuse him anything when he looked like that. “I’ll let you know, Eds,” you bit your lip. “No promises.”

“Alright,” he breathed out, one ringed hand reaching up to cup your face. His thumb brushed over your cheek and you felt yourself melt into his touch again. 

You leaned in, breaths mixing together until your lips brushed each others, melting back into a kiss–this time it was more desperate, he kissed you with a gentle urgency and you were already breathless in his mouth as you felt his fingers brush your bare skin under the soft material of your shirt. His hand itched to travel upwards, but the deal was still tugging at the back of his mind, like a faint melody, haunting him. 

But that melody was just a faint whisper as you repositioned yourself on his lap, now straddling him as the kisses only grew hungrier, more desperate. Desperate to get closer, to feel him against you as much as you could.

Your mind was all Eddie, and you didn’t mind one bit. 

In fact you were welcoming his ever hypnotising presence, letting you melt and engulf in everything that he was–you fitted together like pieces of a puzzle, and the words he’d spoken to you while you were enveloped in the cold water of your swimming pool resonated again through you; ‘where were you all my life?’

Where had he been all this time? Your knight in shinning black armor. You wondered if life would have been easier if he had been by your side earlier. If the nagging from Steve and the bullying from his friends would have effected you less if you had each other–if you had been there to protect one another from the jungle that was Hawkins High. 

The cold metal of his rings agains’t your waist brought you back to the present–and suddenly you knew you weren’t going to be alone in the treacherous sea of Hawkins, that you didn’t need to be scared of the sharks anymore. That you would have no more use for the walls you had spend all these years building. That you could take a break from your Heinous Bitch alter ego.

But as the moment went on, Eddie already knew where this had taken a turn–the nagging melody only grew louder, and he felt himself come back to his sense–as if waking up from the intoxicating hold you had on him. 

Suddenly, he felt guilty for the way he was touching you and pulled his hand from the soft skin of your waist as though it was burning him. His heart knew this was right, but his mind knew it was wrong–and Eddie felt himself get torn apart the more your lips danced together in perfect rhythm.

He hummed against your lips, in an attempt to wake you from the same daze that he had abruptly been ripped away from.

"We- we should stop,” the words left his lips before he could over think more than he was already constrained too. “I- I should go." He looked at your face, his own fake smile flailing at the hurt your eyes held. 

“What?” You panted, pushing yourself back so you could take a better look at him, trying to understand what made him stop his actions “Eddie-” you grabbed his shoulder, hoping it would keep him here, anchor him back to you.

But instead he offered you the poorest of excuses; “It’s getting late,” you only registered that he had moved you away from his lap and back onto the bed when you watched him stand up, and pace around to gather his things, “we have school tomorrow, remember?” 

“Since when do you care about school?” You half joked, hoping this would help Eddie give a clearer explanation to his sudden need for his departure. You watched as Eddie snorted from your truthful comment, but patiently waited for more words to fall out his mouth.

“Since I’ve got a pretty girl helping me with my homework,” he approached, hoping to ease the tension. He came over to you with a genuine smile and bopped your nose, fingers lingering on the soft skin of your cheek.

"Eddie,” you muttered, barely audible, and Eddie felt a new pang of guilt eat him up as he watched you–head falling down as you grabbed his other hand and played with his rings. “Why do every time I take a step forward you take two steps back?" 

He froze–all thoughts fleeting out of his brain, threatening to shut his system down. He knew why, but he could never tell you, he didn’t know what he should even tell you. What words he could use to not dig himself a bigger hole and discern the trust it took so long gaining.

 "You chase me around and when I finally cave in, you push me away?" Your mind flashed back to the first time you had tried to kiss him–when he had dropped you off after that damned party.

"I just-" He whispered, hoping he would find a quick way to defrost from the prison of his thought, trying to scrape at the sanity he was holding on to, trying the situation. "I want to take things slow with you," your frown only deepened. 

"Sweetheart, I really really like you, and everything is happening so fast," the second part of this sentence couldn’t be so far from the truth; hell he could marry you tomorrow and he’d be the happiest man on earth. 

He heard your sigh and was too cowardly to look at you. Fear lay heavy on his stomach the more this went on; traveling to his heart and seeping into his chest to spread all over him. Killing him softly with every passing minute. 

He wished he had called the deal off hours ago when he had the chance. Give Steve his money back before he even opened the door for the delivery man; and maybe, just maybe tonight would have been different and guilt wouldn’t be eating him up like it was now.

“Ok,” you nodded, trying to hide the small ache that had started in your own chest.

You were going to try and say something else; bid him good night and tell him you’d see him tomorrow, hoping that sleeping on this whole situation would make it better for the both of you, give you answers to his behaviorvbut a loud, unrecognizable noise screeched from the garden. 

"Did you hear that?" Eddie’s head snapped towards your window.

"Yeah,” you stood up, pushing the curtains open without a second thought. You both peered down, but saw nothing. The water of the pool was still, the lights creating shadows at the bottom and stray leaves dancing ontop the water. 

Eddie turned his head towards you, “what do you think it was?” 

“I don’t know,” you frowned, fingers dropping their grip on the soft material of your curtains once you had finished scanning the whole area visible from your small window.

You looked up to meet Eddie; not really knowing what to do with the silence dancing across the two of you. 

“You should go,” you offered a smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Eds.”

“Y/n,” Eddie grabbed your wrist before you could move. “I really, really, like you, you know?” He breathed out, a hint of desperation in his voice that made you smile. 

You leaned into his touch, taking a step forward, leaning in to press a kiss to his lips.

“I really like you too, Eddie.”

“Good.”

“Good,” you repeated. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

[eddiestightywhities]

SATURDAY SHNIPPET

posting apropos of nowt bc i've worked on this today and am a bit in love with it (cross your fingers for me the feeling lasts!). it's from my buddie accidental sexting wip partly inspired by the absolute masterpiece that is @wildehacked's I Love You But I Need Another Year. it's eddie pov with manchurian catholic undertones and i'm just under 5k and ed's hasn't even got a hand on his dick yet lmao. large font is the boys texts (buck's have Buck: as a precursor). buck's dating tommy 👀 as this is during the nun!marisol/pent-up eddie thing.

!! mature !!

.

Badly need to switch my brain off, you know? Just don't really know how to do that right now. 

Which is—a bit of a lie. Eddie's learned plenty of relaxation techniques over the years. He knows several breathing exercises and an array of calming mindful practices he could employ. It's just that Eddie's sort of become low key invested in whatever Buck's version of Eddie relaxing might be. Which is probably just because Buck knows him so well, and will be at least able to continue distracting Eddie till Eddie gets tired enough to drop off.

Right?

He really could do with loosening up first, though. 

Buck: OK. so you gotta think about like. something you don't usually think about…… 🧠❓🤔 

Fuck knows why but the Buck&Tommy porn reel is at once scrolling Eddie's brain again, his dick twitching a little in interest against his thigh and—Jesucristo, Eddie has to concentrate really fucking hard now to get his messed-up head somewhere very much other than his best friend's sex life. 

What is wrong with him?

Sure, Buck and Tommy fucking is definitely something Eddie doesn't usually think about, but shit. He has to shake his head to dislodge the image of Tommy's hulking silhouette bracing Buck, and he's really, truly hoping his manchurian Catholicism hasn't been harbouring some sort of weird latent homophobia all this time. 

He just does not want to be thinking of Kinard while feeling this horny. Buck's image, however, is so familiar to Eddie— seared into the lining of his grey matter—that he's not really sure there is anything he can do about getting rid of it. Not unless he wants to run the risk of the stuff he's so desperately trying not to think about sneaking it's way to the forefront of his mind once more. 

Buck: got something in mind? 

Um. 

Buck: picture it now

Buck: and i don't mean like the weekly grocery list or whatever btw

Buck: something sexy 

There's a record scratch in Eddie's brain. 

Hang. The Fuck. On.

Is Buck really doing what Eddie thinks he's doing? And is Eddie—is Eddie really contemplating just… Going along with it? 

Eddie's thumbs are moving across his phone screen of their own accord.

He can't let himself think sexy thoughts. All he can think of is Buck. But Buck did say something different...

Eddie types.

Yeah.

Fuck. 

Buck: alright. okay. take a deep breath. in fact take a few

Buck: and picture…… whatever it is. then start tracing your fingertips over your belly in small circles. start around your belly button. then make them bigger. big, sweeping circles

Buck: but slowly

Buck: and softly 

What in the name of Eddie's sanity is actually happening right now? And why is Eddie's body just—doing exactly what Buck is telling it, without Eddie giving it permission? 

Eddie's fingers are rough against the soft skin of his abdomen, the tips catching a little in the hairs just below his belly button. 

Like a bur on a sunny afternoon. 

He's thinking of Buck. Nothing sleazy, of course. Just Buck in his turnouts. Buck wearing that really nice burnt orange sweater Maddie and Chim got him last Christmas. Buck in a tank and shorts at the station gym. Just—Buck. 

And this, and touching his body the way Buck is telling him to, it all feels... It feels good, actually. Really fucking good. 

Buck: still with me eds? 

Eddie has to type the message out with his left hand, the right one busy drawing strange patterns over his own skin.

Ueah. Feels nice. 

¿Qué carajo?!

Buck: now do the same but up and down your thighs

Eddie does, and—oh, damn, it's—he really likes that. Thinks about Buck's hands doing the same over Buck's thighs. Wonders if Buck is doing it himself. Then he tries to worry about him thinking about that, but can't because Buck is texting him again.

Buck: and keep taking lots of big, deep breaths

Eddie breathes, big and deep, on Buck's instruction, and finds himself sighing quietly when he exhales. His fingers roam across his right thigh, then up the left, then up and over his belly, and back again. 

His phone buzzes against his chest. 

Buck: good? 

Eddie's picturing Buck holding his phone propped up on his own chest, other hand stroking his belly, just like Eddie.

Jeah. good

Buck: now touch your chest

Eddie keeps breathing, slowly, thoroughly, his hand doing exactly what Buck tells it. Then his fingertips skim over his right nipple and fuck, fuck he really likes that, so he finds the left one and does the same. Then he kind of rolls it between his forefinger and thumb pad before absently pinching at it—which rips this strange, strangled sort of sound out of him from somewhere deep in his chest, part gasp, part grunt, and his already fairly plump dick now springs up to full attention, bouncing slightly beneath Eddie's makeshift bedsheet blanket fort.

Buck: you still with me? 

Here. With yio

Eddie really, really wants to touch his dick—only Buck hasn't said that he can. 

Oh fuck, oh fuck, what the fuck.

.

play or nay, tags are under the cut! let me know in the notes if you'd like tagging if/when i finish this!

@inell @rosieposiepuddingnpie @sortasirius @angela-feelstoomuch @woodchoc-magnum @kitteneddiediaz @watchyourbuck @treasurehuntbuck @daffi-990 @eddiegettingshot @mazzystar24 @colonoscopys @shitouttabuck @lamardeuse @exhuastedpigeon @lamardeuse @veronae-buddie @wildehacked

[sister-lucifer]

Inspire Me

Edward Nygma A.K.A. The Riddler x Male Reader

(This was inspired and technically written with The Riddler from Batman: The Audio Adventures in mind, but I feel like any version of Eddie works here) 

Genre: Smut

Summary: Edward has caught an unfortunate case of writer’s block, but he can always count on you to inspire him

Content/Warnings: Riding, praise, pet names, Edward cums inside 

Like my writing? I take requests! NSFW or SFW for any fandoms in my bio! 

Also, please reblog! it’s free, takes two seconds, and really helps me out 

Feedback is encouraged and appreciated:)

Not fully proofread! Let me know if you see any errors!

“Nothing, nothing, nothing!” 

Edward’s frustrated voice reverberated off the walls, the echoes of his anger ringing in your ears from the other room. You sighed to yourself at the sound.

No matter how smart Edward may be, no one is immune to writers block. It is a terrible plague that befalls evil and innocent alike, an indiscriminate ailment with no real cure, and he’d caught it bad. You could hear him quickly crumple up another few papers and toss them away, groaning loudly when they didn’t make it into the overflowing trashcan. 

For days now he had been pondering like this. He didn’t tell you exactly what had happened, but the Batman had done something or other that had gotten under his skin even more than usual. He’d been doing next to nothing but seething and brainstorming, but it seems nothing substantial had come of it. 

You always worried about Edward when he became like this. You hated seeing him upset, even if it was over something trivial, but you also knew that his greatest breakthroughs always directly followed his worst struggles. Any time soon now he would have his “eureka” moment, you could feel it. 

Of course, that’s not to say he wouldn’t need any help. 

“Oh, sweetheeeaaart!” Edward called to you in a sing-song tone. Your heart fluttered at the nickname, and you immediately rushed to him. 

“Yes, Mr. Nygma?” You replied, poking your head into the doorway. The sight before you was a bit jarring, but certainly not unexpected. 

Edward was sitting on the floor accompanied by mountains of discarded papers, half-done drawings of possible inventions or plans of attack surrounding him on all sides. A few metal knickknacks and machine parts laid scarcely about as well. He quickly brushed some of the discarded items away with his arm upon seeing the face you made, but it did little to help. 

You could tell what he was going to ask you from the embarrassed, lopsided smirk on his face alone. 

You and Edward had been a team long before you became his “muse.” He had discovered your brilliant ability to inspire him through…intimate means completely by accident, but he was glad he did. He wasn’t sure how it worked—maybe it was the desperately needed stress relief, or the endorphin rush of an orgasm; it didn’t really matter—but it was more effective than anything he’d tried before. He only used it as a last resort of course (he didn’t want you to feel as though he was just using you), but you were more than happy to lend him a hand. 

Or a mouth. 

Or a hole. 

“My darling, my love, the light of my life,” He began, gesturing for you to come closer. He always did enjoy the overuse of pet names. “As I’m sure you can tell my recent attempts at criminal endeavors have not been very…” 

He flicked a paper ball away with a bored expression as he blew a lock of hair out of his face. 

“…Successful.” 

“Yes, Mr. Nygma, I’ve taken note.” You flashed him an understanding smile as you walked towards him, papers crunching loudly beneath your shoes. “Is there any way I can assist you?” 

Edward responded by simply patting his lap. 

Once you’d planted yourself on top of him he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you in close with a sigh. 

“Oh, my handsome muse! I’m afraid that my medium has not been kind to me,” He lamented, “Try as I might, no matter how many ideas I conjure nothing is good enough. I’ve exhausted all my resources…” 

You hid your face in the crook of his neck, one of your hands sliding down his arm to lace your fingers with his. You gave a playful squeeze, and you could hear the faintest giggle slip past Edward’s lips. 

“Eddie…” You whispered. Your warm breath against his ear nearly made him shudder. 

“Yes, my love?” 

You pulled back, looking him up and down and toying with the collar of his button up. 

“There’s no need to beat around the bush, you know. If you need me to inspire you, you only need to ask.” 

—————————————————————

“Oh, my inspiration! You beautiful thing, you!” Edward gushed, arms holding you tightly to his chest. The praise encouraged you to bounce faster, craving the feeling of his cock hitting deep inside of you. His restless hands groped and grabbed at every bit of soft flesh you had to offer, leaving no spot on the outside or inside of you untouched. 

“Oh, Eddie!” You mewled in return as you leaned in to press desperate kisses to his jawline. 

“Faster, sweetheart, please…” Edward pleaded. You could feel each heavy breath he took as his chest rose and fell against your own. Your hands held tightly to his shoulders to keep your balance, nails digging into the wrinkled fabric of his loose button up. “More, my love! I can feel it— I can feel your wonderful inspiration! You are absolute perfection, my muse!” 

The best part of his sweet praises was knowing that he meant each and every word. 

Edward adored you. You were the very spirit of his creativity, and he was reminded of it every time he turned to you for ideas. 

Edward needed you in more ways than one, and he was never ashamed to show it. 

“Oh, s-sweetheart—!” He stuttered, an unusual habit for him that only you were ever allowed to witness, “Sweet boy, I-I’m close—!” 

He didn’t have to warn you; you’ve done  this more than enough times to see all the signs. You felt every little twitch of his cock inside of you, and he felt every subtle quiver of yours in return. The feeling of your leaking member grinding against his stomach as you rode him brought him satisfaction to no end. 

“My love, please, will you give me the honor…?” Edward asked, his words soft and sincere against your shoulder. 

“Of course, Eddie,” You replied eagerly. You’d never hesitate to let Edward fill you up, just how you both liked. “Anything for you.”

It was clear you were losing your rhythm now, all your focus directed to angling your hips to hit just the right spot. Edward bucked up into you in return, throwing his head back with a drawn out moan as you squeezed around him. Soon he was thrusting into you wildly, desperately chasing his release. 

“Yes, yes—! Just a bit more! God, mmph—! Perfection!” 

His words of encouragement were sprinkled between frantic calls of your name, which soon took over any attempt at forming a cohesive sentence. He held on to you for dear life, practically screaming for you as he came. The sudden warm rush of him filling you was enough to give you the last extra push you needed. 

“Oh, Eddie!” 

Your last cry was shrill and broken, barely managed between incessant noises of pleasure. Edward hummed in delight at the feeling of your cum falling across his chest. 

Soon you slowed to a stop, both of you going silent as you caught your breath. You rested your forehead on Edward’s chest as he stroked your hair tenderly. 

“Oh, my love, that was exactly what I needed…” Edward said through heavy breaths. You couldn’t help but grin at that. 

“I can feel the ideas flowing, the perfect plan is in my sights— Oh, yes! That’s it! I’m so glad I have you.” The more he spoke the more giddy with excitement he became, muttering to himself in who knows what languages as you stared up at him dreamily. He was adorable when he was like this. You pressed a sweet kiss to his lips, one you both smiled into.

“You have no idea how much of a help you’ve been, my love. I can’t thank you enough.” 

You shifted in Edward’s lap, placing your hand over his where it rested on your side. 

“You’re welcome, Eddie. I’ll always be here to inspire you.” 

if you like this fic and want to support me, please reblog! its free, takes two seconds, and it’s essential for all creators on tumblr:)!

[lover-of-mine]

Lady Whistledown.... OK on the parenting front. We all need to step into Narnia for a moment and forget he ever did cameos. Everything we know simply exists in the 911 universe as Canon. So you must understand that in this universe (thanks to Lous head canons he was paid for) he lost his mother at a young age and his father was a bully he ran from. And also the bachelor party was a way of showing Tommy as the mature one and carefully crafted to show that Eddie and Buck are just like play mates.

Tommy because he lost said mother so young will be the one to identify with Christopher and coax the young boy home. And if Christopher runs again because Eddie does something terrible. Well, our savior, Tommy will be the one to think you know maybe he went to Shannon's grave stone. He shall arrive and talk to the boy again. Because see clearly Buck and Eddie do not have the emotional capacity to accomplish this.

Also yes secretly Eddie is probably a little mad and jealous of Buck. You see, he did not realize when Tommy was courting him it was actually and option he could say yes, and now Buck stole him. But never fear Tommy will confess to Buck he was like 50th choice and because Buck loves Eddie so much he accepts being Eddies second choice to keep his family..

And your question on them realizing? Yes, after the hospital kiss, we were supposed to get more friend time of Eddie and Tommy. Tommy and Chris. All four at dinner together bonding. We got literally 2 scenes! Also, yes, they desperately wanted that dinner scene to contain the word boyfriend or love confession, so they didn't have to worry all summer.

Also deeply disappointed that the Hen Karen and Tommy scene was cut because that is probably where Hen on screen declares for the GA stop being mad at Tommy. See, I'm black and queer and my beautiful smart wife even loves Tommy. When I said "finally " to Karen, it was about both Tommy and Buck!!! Duh!!!!

So hopefully, that explains the "Christopher had three dads" PR department.

But also, when they were really, really mad at us, because we were so evil smart we were able to hack Lous personal Twitter and set him up as a racist. Maybe they should find a way of making sure they unmask us like the Scooby Doo villains we are to Oliver. Then Oliver would understand how toxic we really are.

But stepping out of Narnia. My impression on the Eddie front is that it's turning desperate in ways to make Tommy more relevant than he actually is to the story because it's the only way to get him more screen time than Karen. We all know that's never happening. They can't stand he will only exist in scenes with Buck if back and not on the forefront of the firefam. A family he definitely isn't a part of.

Hey, baby 🩷🩷 laughter doesn't begin to cover the sounds I was making while reading this. I will say I did not keep up with his cameos so this is all news to me so I'm loving it. The level of delusion. I'm speechless. So Tommy is the mature one and Buck is just there. Eddie being above Buck in the poli version is hysterical. Boy can't get a single win, huh? So they were expecting the Hen seal of approval and a place in Eddie's life and they got... That. That's nice. I feel better for the chaos reading this, ngl, I see you and feel the urge to pop some popcorn.

I mean, Taylor got a dinner with Eddie and Chris, even I thought the dude was gonna get something after 706. But I agree with your assessment, everyone knows the only way a love interest is gonna have a fighting chance is if they exist outside of Buck. And Tommy has possible threads that the show deliberately didn't pick because, hello, hello, he is not part of the family. God, I'm BEGGING for the show to give us something that explicitly contradicts as many of Lou's cameos as possible. (Does anyone have a bullet points list of those, because I legit lost track and I'm curious)

I maintain what I said when the hacking drama was happening tho, as your local buddie shipper computer scientist, I speak for all of us that if we were going to hack something, it would be the abc servers to get the karaoke scene. And, also, being a bad person never made a love interest leave the show, why would anyone bother making him look bad?

I'm still giggling at the Tommy/Eddie of it all. Like, if Tommy wanted Eddie and Eddie wanted Tommy and Buck is just a means to an end, and Tommy is a better parent, then what's the purpose of Buck in their heads? Does he just look pretty and gets fucked? This is madness. MADNESS.

[artiststarme]

Steve's Vecna Vision

The angst continues! This is kind of based on a prompt from @newtstabber. I hope you guys like it and please leave your thoughts in the comments!

~*~*~*~

They were all in Max’s trailer trying to come up with a plan to kill Vecna. Robin was ranting, the kids were talking over everyone, and Dustin was being bossy as per usual. Meanwhile, Steve was tuning in and out of the conversation. The bites in his sides throbbed with every heartbeat, his head pounded mercilessly, and the ligature marks around his throat pulsated. He was trying to push through the pain and stay strong for the rest of the group but it got harder with every minute. 

He tuned back in as he heard Dustin call Vecna/Henry/One defenseless. 

“Defenseless? Yeah? What about the army of bats?” He pointed out, gesturing to his own cut up neck. 

“Right, true. We’ll have to find a way past them, distract them somehow,” Dustin nodded as if his plan wasn’t a suicide mission.  

“And uh, how do we do that exactly?” Eddie asked, wiggling uncomfortably in his seat.

“We give up Steve,” Dustin said matter-of-factly. 

Steve’s head snapped up to look at him, “What?”

“We don’t really need you, Steve. This isn’t a basketball game or a ride to the arcade so you’re kind of useless,” he said monotonously. Dustin’s face was as calm as ever and looking around to the other faces in the room, they looked the same. 

Even Robin and Nancy appeared as if they were considering the idea. 

“Dustin? What do you mean give me up? Is this like a bait situation like the junkyard, what do you mean?” Steve asked him desperately, he was begging for any other explanation than the one that was forming in his mind. 

Was his life really so meaningless that the kid he considered a brother would sacrifice him just like that? He didn’t even mention any other possibilities, his mind went straight to ensuring Steve’s death. Wow, great friend that kid. 

“C’mon Steve, you’re the only one who no one would care about if you died. Your parents haven’t been home in what, eight months this time? They won’t even notice if you don’t go home,” Steve’s eyes narrowed at Dustin. He never told him about his parents. 

He looked around the living room of the trailer. All of his friends looked like them but there was something off. Robin and Eddie were completely still. They were never completely still, too full of energy to never not be fiddling with their hands or talking  a mile a minute. And Robin wouldn’t entertain the idea of using Steve as bait. She was his Platonic with a capital P soulmate, there was no way she would be letting Dustin talk to him like that. 

“Vecna? Or do you go by One? Henry? I don’t really know what to call you.” Steve spoke with confidence but the anxiety running through his veins only made his body hurt more. 

“Steve Harrington, how do you know my name?” A booming voice trilled around him. 

“It doesn’t matter how I know, we’re going to stop you.” All of a sudden, the facades of his friends disappeared and in their place stood a towering figure. His body was shed of skin, fully exposed muscle and gore. His hands were elongated fingers with claws still dripping with the blood of his past victims. 

“You cannot stop me. But you’re welcome to see what will happen if you try.”

Then, Steve was alone in a darkened version of the trailer. Vecna/Henry/One was gone. The sky outside was dark and thundering with flashes of red lightning. Animalistic squeals filled the air, all too reminiscent of the bats that had decided to make Steve their chew toy just a day prior. He was in the Upside Down. 

Steve didn’t even have a chance to try and find a gate or start singing his favorite song in an effort to lift this curse. He didn’t even know if this was real or if he was having a nightmare. He didn’t have time to think about anything before he heard screaming. 

“HELP! STEVE HELP! STEVE!”

“Dustin? Dustin?! Where are you?” Steve couldn’t tell if this was real or not. But he could hear Dustin screaming for him amongst panicked cries filled with pain. So, he ran towards him. 

What he found would forever haunt him. Dustin was surrounded by demobats, he had his spear in one hand and a shield in the other but they were useless against the sheer force of the hungry bats. Steve watched in slow-motion as the first bat circled its tail around Dustin’s neck and pulled him to the ground. He couldn’t speak as the other bats latched their razor sharp teeth into his neck, his chest, his abdomen, and his limbs. 

By the time his feet unfroze, it was too late. Dustin could hardly breath through the thick blood he was coughing up and half of his body had been mauled beyond repair. Steve could do little more than cradle his head as he tried fruitlessly to put pressure on the wounds. 

“Dustin, oh my god. Dustin! I’m so sorry, Dustin. Please stay awake, I’ll get you out of here. Please,” Steve begged him. 

“Steve, this is your fault,” Dustin whispered. 

“What-” He asked brokenly. 

“You-you killed me, Steve. You killed me…” 

“What? No, no, no, Dustin! I didn’t do this. Please, wake up! Stay awake Dustin, come on. C’mon Henderson, wake up! Please!” Steve screamed and sobbed, he begged for him to come back. But Dustin was gone and he was right, it was Steve’s fault. Because he had frozen when Dustin needed him which cost him his life. 

It felt like years that Steve sat there hugging Dustin’s body, crying brokenly in the face of a pain he never thought he could feel. And when he looked past Dustin’s body back towards the Munson trailer, he saw the mutilated body of Eddie Munson laying there. He’d given his life to protect Dustin’s but he’d failed in his quest. 

A new wave of tears started for Steve and he screwed his eyes shut to avoid looking at the bodies of his friends that he never wanted to see. 

~*~*~*~

Steve felt a pulling sensation in his chest before he fell. His stomach dropped and he gasped before falling to the ground where he hissed in discomfort as a white-blinding pain swept through his wounds. 

“Oh my god, Steve?” Dustin pushed past Nancy and knelt down beside him. “Steve, is it the bites? Do you have rabies?”

Steve flinched away from his comforting hands and burst into embarrassingly loud tears. Dustin was alive? He sobbed with a force that shook his entire body and it only got worse when he looked into Eddie’s panicked eyes. Eddie was alive too?

He avoided their prying questions and shrunk away from their searching hands. He didn’t deserve comfort, not after what he’d seen, what he’d done. But he couldn’t shy away from his best friend. Robin fell to her knees at his side and pulled him into an all-encompassing hug. He would be okay. He’d get over this, he’d try to forget the horrors he saw, and he would kill that bastard if it was the last thing he did. 

(And it would be.)

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[pedroschka]

Hi! I love your JQ work 💕

I would like to request a cute blurb. This one contains about reader and Joe having a baby together. If you're uncomfortable with that, it's totally fine - just ignore this.

Reader and Joe met on the set of season 4, they're characters are love interest and behind the scenes they also fell in love. A few years later they're married with a baby less than a year old.

The couple shows their baby their scenes. Baby recognizes mama but not dada.

not daddy

dad!Joseph Quinn x mum!reader

A/n: so cute! I couldn't not do it! hope you enjoy <3 (fully inspired by my nephew and his judgement for everyone)

Seeing yourself on TV always comes with a little discomfort, cringing upon hearing your own voice or how your nose looks in some scenes but watching yourself from five years ago hits extra hard.

You and your husband had planned a small movie night together cuddled up on the sofa, but just as he was searching through Netflix to find something to watch, the baby monitor beside you lightens up and the small whimpers from your 18 months old daughter turned into crying within seconds.

You and Joe looked at each other, it's his turn now. He jumped off the sofa and handed you the remote before sprinting up the stairs to her room.

The crying stopped nearly instantly and you could hear Joe's soft talking and shushing through the baby monitor before it went silent and he walked with her on his arm into the living room sitting himself beside you again

"What's the matter little munchkin huh?" You cooed at her "you just ate, you can't be hungry again can't you?" She turned her face into Joe's neck, grabbing his curls in her small hands

"Her nappy is also dry, just think she needs a few more cuddles to sleep hm?" He softly nudged her little head with his nose, soft curls of dark hair on it that looked so much like Joe's, matching their chocolate button eyes and turning her into a tiny version of your husband.

Her answer to him was an even firmer grip on his hair before pulling on it, hard.

"Ow ow ow no baby don't hurt daddy " Joe winced and desperately tried to free his hair from her surprisingly strong grip.

At this she lifted her head up and blinked owlishly up at him, "daddy" her small hand let go of his curls and instead pushed her flat hand into his face, squishing his nose and making you laugh at Joe's deadpanned face

" Surprised she even recognize you with such long hair, you start to resemble Eddie again " you joked, his hair wasn't that long but it reaches nearly his shoulders and was the longest you ever saw it without the help of a wig, wanting to grow it out for his new role.

"You always recognize daddy right, you're a smart girl " he nodded at her

" You wanna bet on it ?" You winked at him and nodded towards the TV where the trailer for stranger things showed up

" Gosh I haven't watched it in years " he turned your daughter around on his lap and pointed with his finger at the screen "without this show you wouldn't even exist now, can you believe this? Not a world I wanna live in " he whispered to her and gives her a little kiss on her head

Your heart felt like it's gonna explode with all the love you felt watching the two most important people in your life, not even wanting to imagine a world without them in it. But Joe was right, if there wouldn't have been so many coincidences lined up onto another, bringing you two together on the set of season four and falling in love in between filming, you maybe would still share a flat with your best friend, jumping from one night stand to another, giving up on relationships and true love.

" Alright but only the fun scenes, don't wanna traumatize her already with watching her mom's bones getting cracked " you mumbled the last part to not get her to catch that and fast forward to the forest scene with both you and Joe, your favorite.

Her gorgeous round eyes lit up and a big smile spread across her cheeks, she starts wriggling excitingly on Joe's lap, having him grab her a little tighter to not let her fall, "mummy!" She turned her head towards you and then back to the screen

" Yes you're absolutely right, that's your mummy! And look who's there too!" You make a surprised face at her and point to the screen where Joe aka Eddie walks into the scene.

But instead of screaming daddy with the same enthusiasm her face turned into the most uninterested little frown her little face could master, plumming her little body against Joe's creating an adorable double chin

"Told ya" you laughed at Joe who frowned down at his daughter

" Look it's daddy " he tried to convince her

"Mummy!" she smiled at you again when she saw your character on the TV but instantly turned blank again when the camera switched towards Eddie, even looking a bit judgy as he threw himself off the bench

"Wow this is the most devastating criticism I've ever received" he tried to cover his disappointment with humor but the little downtown of his lips was clearly visible

"You have to admit, the wig does make you look very different"

Joe huffed as your daughter screeches mummy again and places her on your lap before walking to the TV and standing right in front of it.

You watched in amusement as he starts recreating Eddie's scene, exaggerating the facial expressions and theatrics, making your daughter giggle before screaming "daddy move!" at him

You started laughing hysterically and Joe tried really hard to look offended but eventually couldn't hold his laughter back and ran up to her and held her up in front of him wriggling her around

"What did you just say hm? What did you say" blowing raspberries all over her face and making her screech in laughter, little body shaking

"Don't do this too much she's gonna…."

The loudest fart in baby history echoed through the living room and ended your sentence for you

Her cackling after it rounded it all up

"Alright, she definitely got this from you" Joe stated before holding her away from him and pushing her nappy butt near your face making you screech and hide behind the cushions

TV fully forgotten now.

(reblogs and comments are very appreciated additional to your likes)

[sundaynightlive]

august of '85 (Steddie, Part 2)

A week.

Steve has had weeks of his life pass by like seconds—hell, the first ten years of his life seem to have left even faster than that.

But now, he itches.

It’s morning, and Eddie’s in a t-shirt and boxers chugging coffee like it’s wine, wandering aimlessly around the living room with a background of natural light and ocean, and all Steve can think is that he wants to pick him up and drag him to bed—his bed. 

Last night, they had slept in separate rooms, but slept is a complete overstatement. Steve tossed and turned and struggled over many things, most of them falling back to Eddie in some way, shape, or form—the condensed version is this—

He’s gay? He’s gay. Well, half-gay. He should ask Eddie about that. Eddie? Yeah. Eddie. He should’ve known—if Robin and Nancy could physically make a baby, it’d be Eddie. Nancy and Robin making a baby—ew, okay, gross. Enough of that. Eddie—he’s really beautiful. And they kissed. Didn’t they meet less than two weeks ago? But Steve also invited him on a month-long vacation, so is kissing him really that far-fetched? Can something that happened even be far-fetched? Now he has to wait a week. Why? Why couldn’t it have just been, like, a day? And what had Eddie meant about ruining his life? What could ruin his life—being gay? Kind of too late to change that, isn’t it? But he is only half-gay. So he technically could just… go on. Normally. That seems like living sort of a lie, though, right?

Steve spent hours mulling over his situation in his brain, and only realized this morning the part he hadn’t really addressed—how the fuck is he supposed to last a week when Eddie will be walking around in his pajamas, breaking bread with him, swimming with him, walking along the beach with him, having tons of vacation firsts—

Fuck, and he’s just supposed to sit around here, genuinely crushing on somebody for the first time in months, and not act on it? When he knows it’s reciprocated? 

He’s screwed.

“Eds—”

“That’s a new one.” 

Eddie doesn’t miss a beat, mug hardly removed from his lips, curls down around his face like an actual lion’s mane. He’s beautiful, literally like some sort of model with that nose and those lips—Steve can picture this exact image of him, backed by those huge windows and all that water, shoved in some home-decoration magazine, and the lady looking through it would jump at his tattoos and his Metallica t-shirt but be so genuinely captivated by those eyes that— 

“Hello? Earth to Steve?” 

Steve snaps out of it, feeling heat rise up into his cheeks. it's embarassing to be caught staring so adamantly, but he hasn’t allowed himself to feel all of this yet. And he wants to.

Desperately.

“I—sorry. Do we really have to—” 

Eddie puts up a hand, a terrible way to try and focus him because all Steve can think about then is that black fingernail polish and those rings and how those might feel on his skin or in his hair or even in his mouth, how they taste, or what it would be like to have them inside him or—

Woah. Woah.

Christ. When he gets it, he gets it bad, huh?

 “The week is non-negotiable,” Eddie says firmly, and Steve is still staring at his hands, so he can’t find it in himself to be totally devastated, “I need you to be 100% sure this is what you want. I’m not ruining my first and only vacation by sleeping with my handler—”

“Woah, pause. Do not call me your handler.” 

Eddie grins, and Steve thinks he can call him whatever he wants for the rest of his life if he keeps smiling just like that.

“Why not?” Eddie waggles his eyebrows, something Steve was not aware a man could actually do, and spins around like a true showman, “I’m an animal, baby. You just try and keep me out of trouble.” 

Steve rolls his eyes. He wants, no, needs to reach out and pull Eddie in by the waist, push their noses together and tease him up close and personal, but--

He settles for sitting down on the couch, falling back into the cushions, supremely careful of the coffee in his cup. He took the plastic off these couches years ago. His parents never noticed. Has he spilled a couple times? Yes. Does it matter?

Not in his house.

“I know exactly how to keep your dumb ass in line.”

“Oh really?” 

A challenge. Steve tries not to look too smug as he takes a sip of his coffee.

“Distract and occupy,” he says, “Ask you about D&D and then hand you something shiny and you’re set for hours.” 

If Steve thought that last smile was something, this one is a spiritual experience. Not only does Eddie beam, he tips his head back and laughs, exposing throat and releasing genuine joy and if that’s not everything Steve has ever wanted, he’s not sure what could be.

Is he whipped? He’s whipped. How is he even asking himself that question, of course he’s whipped. God—he’s gotta call Robin. He’s not even sure how he’s holding this conversation his mind is so fuzzy.

“Distract and occupy,” Eddie repeats, eyes shining, “I can think of a few different ways to do that.”

Oh. Oh.

Eddie is so not helping his situation.

They finish their coffees with easy conversation—how they slept, what the plan is for today, when they should go for groceries. They decide to shower and get dressed on their own timelines and when they’re ready they’ll be ready, which is nothing like it used to be with his parents. Minute by minute itineraries—his mom, when she was younger, was eager to do as much as they could in the time they were allotted. You’d think she would’ve been less concerned considering they had a whole month to waste out here, but she somehow always managed to fill every single moment with some tourist attraction or event. It never felt like too much, either. She was a planning master—completely balanced.

As she got older, and after the affair, all she wanted to do was lie around and drink wine on a beach somewhere else. Part of him suspects she just can’t handle being here anymore.

The memories that cradle him haunt her.

Steve uses his shower to get it the fuck together. He does not think about Eddie or smooth pale skin or what his tan lines are gonna be like in a week or wonder if he’s thinking about Steve and if he is, what he’s doing about it. No, Steve doesn’t think about any of those things at all.

He presses his forehead and nose to the shower wall and takes a breath. He lets the water fall over his skin and tries to wash away all this achy want and desperation, tries to look at it from the other angle—not forward, but backwards.

Eddie isn’t going to be a forever thing, that much is clear, so if Steve wants to keep himself from falling into actual pieces, the best thing to do is to stop all this unhinged fantasy. Eddie may be a crush, and a boy, and a beautiful boy at that, but he doesn’t belong to Steve anymore than Nancy ever did, or Robin ever did, or any of those random girls he shared sheets with. 

No, Eddie is an end-of-summer fling. Steve has to make peace with that. He’s not having a Nancy the Second where he obsesses long after his opportunity is over—he’s taking the opportunity and he’s making the most out of it, just like his mom had all those Augusts before.

His shower finishes swiftly after that, and he doesn’t even bother blow drying and styling his hair before he’s throwing on the nearest thing—shorts and a t-shirt—and hauling ass downstairs so he can get to a phone before Eddie’s done getting ready.

Of course, he knows Robin’s number by heart, but he suspects that’s not where she is.

“Hawkin’s Family Video, how can I—“

“Rob it’s me,” Steve says quickly, “I’ve gotta talk to you and I don’t have a lot of time so I need you to just shut up and listen.”

“Steven—“

“I kissed Eddie, er, Eddie kissed me—you know what it doesn’t matter, Eddie and I kissed and I really fucking liked it and I think him and I are going to have the most intense summer fling of my life and I’m kind of freaking out and I also need you to tell me if I can like girls and guys because I definitely like girls but I’m obsessed with Eddie—he’s like, genuinely gorgeous and I don’t even know what I want him to do to me because I’ve never even thought about how any of this works and I think I’m probably losing it but I have to take the opportunity where I can even though he said it could only be an August thing but I, like, genuinely like him too so that’s really confusing and, like, logistically when we get home what if being friends is too weird and—“

“Holy fuck.”

Steve stops short at her whispered profanity. He has never heard her sound like that, and then it gets louder—

“Holy fuck!”

“What?!”

“You’re into Eddie?! Steve—we’ve been trying to get you a date for months and you’re into fucking Eddie Munson who you whined about having to meet for weeks?!” Steve flinches.

“Don’t ever tell him that.”

“Incredible!” She is laughing almost uncontrollably. Steve really hopes there’s nobody in the store because if he were in family video and heard maniacal laughing like that he’d have the culprit committed pronto.

“Rob, seriously, I don’t have time for this—“

“I can’t believe I couldn’t tell you were bi! That’s just—oh my god, of course.”

“Bi? What do you mean of course?” Steve asks, starting to get slightly offended.

“Star Wars? Indiana Jones? Blade Runner?! You’ve got a fat ass celebrity crush on Harrison Ford.”

Steve’s heard the term “shell-shocked” before, but he’d never really understood until this very moment. He might as well have been sucker-punched in the dick.

Of course.

Robin is laughing hysterically over the line, but he just feels like crying. Of course he likes men—is he stupid? Dumb question, yes he’s stupid. And it churns in his guts to think of all those kids who probably struggled through Hawkins High, knowing they were different, never knowing who or how to be, and he was just like them and yet there he was, excusing Tommy’s behavior and laughing along.

What a piece of actual shit.

“I'm an idiot,” he says weakly. Robin’s laughter dies abruptly.

“Hey—no. You’re not an idiot, it’s not always easy to—“

“I'm an idiot and a hypocrite,” Steve says, choking a little bit on the tears that slide down his cheeks, “God—I’m evil, Rob.”

“Steven, we’ve talked about this,” she says softly, “You didn’t—“

“Steve?” 

Steve jumps and slams the phone into the receiver so hard a few wall decorations literally shake. He shouldn’t turn as fast as he does, should attempt to collect himself first, but he’s so surprised by Eddie’s sudden appearance he can’t even think to do that.

“I just—“

“Still need that week?”

Steve flinches. He puts the heel of his palm up against his forehead and takes a deep breath.

“No, but yes,” he says, trying not to sound as pathetic as he feels, “I’ll wait if it’s what you want, but my mind’s made up.”

“Oh… so… what’s all… this about?” 

Steve can’t help himself—he laughs a little. At least he’s got one thing up on Eddie, that being the ability to deal with people’s emotions arguably okay. Eddie certainly does not sound like he knows what to do in this situation. 

“I just sucked,” he manages, but barely. He’s glad to have covered some of his face, because the tears are not stopping, and he feels like an idiot crying over something that’s ultimately his own fault.

He chose to be ignorant. He chose to be cruel. He chose popularity over sincerity.

“I’m gonna need you to elaborate?”

Does he? Does he really?

“In highschool,” he groans, moving his hands to wipe tears away, sniffing hard. “I pushed around people—kids—who were just like me. I treated them like shit when I could have—”

Eddie’s arms close around him, fingers sliding into his wet hair, and Steve lets it happen—it feels like they’ve failed the “give it a week” stipulation already, but the embrace is good, and he needed it badly. 

He doesn’t hug Eddie back, just lets himself be held.

“I’m gonna tell you something now, and if you tell anyone I did, I’ll fucking deny it.” 

Steve takes a shaky breath.

“Okay.”

“Everybody sucks in high school,” Eddie says firmly. His fingers start to stroke across the back of Steve’s head and the feeling would have him absolutely catatonic if he wasn’t bent on hearing Eddie out— “Everyone. Kids like you, kids like me—we all had some chip on our shoulder, and some reason we were secretly better than everyone else. You were just… people just believed it about you.”

That doesn’t really make him feel better, because he knows that it wasn’t even anything about him they decided was better—it was his place on the basketball team (which had been mediocre at best) and his money and his hair and his last name and his friends and his charming manner and his pretty face—

Sports, money, hair—it’s all meaningless and stupid. It doesn’t matter, and this isn’t the first time Steve is realizing it, but it’s the first time he’s come to terms with the sheer ridiculousness of it all, and how he had abused that ridiculousness to its fullest extent. Not only had he abused it, he had enjoyed abusing it. And he routinely hurt people in the process, not to mention denying himself actual happiness and actual friends..

Fuck.

“I’m a bad person,” Steve whispers, and Eddie’s light petting turns into a firm grasp.

“A bad person wouldn’t feel shitty about this stuff,” Eddie argues, and then pulls back from the embrace, fixing Steve with those doe eyes and swallowing gaze, “And, I’ve got pretty high standards, like, Luke Skywalker standards.” 

Steve smiles a little as Eddie reaches to brush away a few of his tears.

“I wouldn’t kiss a bad person, or agree to have a summer fling with them,” Eddie says, “And I wouldn’t bend the rules and let a bad person kiss me one more time to tide them over.”

Steve takes the opportunity for all it’s worth.

It taste like salt and spit because he’s still crying, but Eddie’s mouth is so soft and captivating that the kiss, which had every intention of being chaste, grows insistent and long. Eddie’s face in his hands, Eddie’s thumbs in his belt loops, the smell of shampoo and clean clothes and—

They break. Eddie smiles, letting a thumb pass over Steve’s lips.

“The week starts now.”

And, oh, is it bittersweet.

Friday, August 2nd—they spend what’s left of the day getting groceries, Eddie seemingly mesmerized by the small beach-town and its cobblestone streets and endless array of tourist traps. Every other storefront is a gift shop of useless trinkets, themed cafes, arcades, bars—if it’s going to empty your pockets, it’s there. Amidst all of it, though, there is a record store that’s genuinely cool, and if they hadn’t already purchased a crap-load of things that begged for a refrigerator, Steve would’ve been content to spend hours watching Eddie tear through the stacks, and then surprise him by buying every single thing he marveled at.

An idea for another day.

After that, they hang around the house, chatting, arguing, making pancakes for dinner—they get to bed at reasonable times, and despite how badly Steve wants to walk down the hall and crawl into bed with his… friend, he manages to just sleep instead, pillow trapped securely in his arms.

Saturday, August 3rd—ice cream for breakfast, which has them both giggly and on embarrassing sugar highs, so they decide today is a beach day.

Eddie’s unearthly, as usual, and excited like a child at the vastness of the ocean.

Excited or not, he’s still timid about getting in the water.

“What about the sharks?” he asks.

“Sharks don’t kill near as many people as cars do,” Steve points out.

“Really?”

“Really. Get in the water, Eds.”

“It’s still really weird to hear me call you that.”

“Get in the water, baby.”

Steve continues looking out at the ocean (not his favorite sight, because man, is that all kind of scary) even though he’s certain Eddie’s head whips towards him fast enough to break his own neck. Steve may be whipped, but he isn’t totally shit at flirting. Sure, he’s used to girls, but could it really be all that different?

A beat.

“I won’t let anything happen to you, okay?” Steve continues casually, “Let’s go.”

Once Eddie’s in the water he doesn’t want to get out of it, and Steve’s alright with that until he realizes how burnt Eddie is, and then practically has to drag him out and back up to the house so he can absolutely smother him with aloe vera.

“It doesn’t even hurt!”

“It will,” Steve chides, “You idiot—did you even put sunscreen on?”

“I forgot,” Eddie mumbles sheepishly.

“Of course you did.”

Sunday, August 4th—Eddie is too embarrassed of his cherry-tomato appearance to agree to go anywhere, so they stay in and watch old movies. Steve desperately wants Eddie to cuddle up next to him on the couch, but at the moment, the older boy is radiating heat and visibly in pain, so he understands when Eddie leaves a generous amount of space between them.

Monday, August 5th—Eddie’s burn settles into a tan and Steve avoids eye-contact with him for about an hour straight, because he’s glowing, and Steve wants to shove him onto the nearest flat surface and… well, he’s not exactly sure what he wants to do, but he’d do it enthusiastically.

“Dude, are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Then look at me.”

Steve tentatively lifts his gaze.

“Was that so hard?”

Yes. It’s miserable. This is the bitter part of the week—not being able to act on all these steadily brewing feelings of want and need. He loves being here with Eddie, but he wants to be here with Eddie, too. He gets it—or at least, thinks he gets it. Eddie doesn’t want him to make a hasty decision, regret it, and ruin this vacation for both of them.

That makes sense. Too much sense, really.

But it doesn’t make waiting any easier.

“You’re fucking gorgeous,” Steve breathes, and Eddie physically starts.

“I—what?”

“Drop-dead, breathtaking, whatever you want,” Steve admits.

Eddie’s the first boy Steve ever called beautiful out loud, and he can’t help but think this is exactly how things are supposed to be.

Tuesday, August 6th—Steve enacts his plan of taking Eddie to the record store, and it’s everything he could have hoped. Eddie is downright euphoric every second, so distracted he doesn’t notice Steve picking up all the records he puts down (after ogling them for extended amounts of time), and so distraught about Steve buying them he doesn’t even argue—just watches with wide eyes as Steve chats up the cashier who bats her eyelashes and twirls her hair and can’t get a sentence out without stumbling over her words.

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“It’s the reason we came.”

“You… are you serious?”

“Consider this a thank-you for agreeing to a month-long vacation with a stranger.”

“I… don’t think I can accept this.”

“Too late.”

Wednesday, August 7th—Steve is cranky. He hates to admit it, but he’s tired of this. He’s not sure he can handle the next two days of no Eddie. Well, not exactly no Eddie, but like… half Eddie. He doesn’t like having half Eddie.

But he pushes it all down, because he’s going to obey Eddie’s one and only request, even though he knows his mind isn’t changing. If this week gives Eddie piece of mind, he'll deal with it.

Begrudgingly.

They go to an arcade and waste what’s probably hundreds of dollars for a sad amount of tickets and dogshit prizes—a collection of plastic shot glasses and a toy gun that doesn’t even shoot anything, but makes some unsettling noises when you pull the trigger.

They take the shot glasses as a sign to get tipsy that night, and end up drunk, daring each other this and daring each other that until the topic of skinny-dipping gets brought up.

“No, no—we can’t. There’s sharks at night!”

“In the pool, then!”

And then they’re stumbling drunk out towards the pool, shoving each other and yelling and laughing maniacally, and if Steve were anyone else he would say they were in love, but Steve’s not anyone else and he knows the time limit on all this, so he swallows that thought and focuses on getting rid of his shirt and pants without falling over. Then his socks, and—

He stills. He realizes, even through the fog of intoxication, this is a very precarious situation.

Despite how annoyed he is with the week, and how much he wishes Eddie would just say “fuck it” and change his mind, he knows it’s important. For Eddie, at least.

But Eddie’s naked in front of him and Steve can’t seem to remember how to function.

It only lasts a matter of moments, because soon Eddie’s in the water and teasing him about being a chicken, but Steve’s still thinking about everything he’s just seen, every inch of Eddie’s skin, how real all of him is in that water—

Steve can’t go a day, here, without being some sort of shaken to his core, can he?

“Get in the water, baby,” Eddie purrs.

“I can’t.” It falls out of Steve involuntarily—he’s drunk.

“Yes, you can.”

“How?”

“Lose the boxers, jump in the pool,” Eddie says, “It’s that easy.”

Steve shakes his head. Then swallows.

“No.”

“Yes.”

“I can’t.”

“Steve—“

“I’m hard.”

He doesn’t realize it until he’s saying it, and then after it leaves him, understands that yeah. He’s fucking hard, and all that happened was Eddie getting naked in front of him. No contact, no sexual insinuation, just skin. 

Eddie must be magic.

“I can see that.”

Steve is utterly mortified. He doesn’t know what to do except move his shirt (from where it had been clutched against his chest) to hide his growing erection. Now would’ve been a fantastic time to have whiskey dick.

“I… wanna finish the week,” Steve says softly. Eddie’s smirk dies on his face.

“Really?”

“I want you to trust me. I want… I want to do this for you.”

The look on Eddie’s face is foreign, and Steve doesn’t have the brain power available to figure out what it means, but it doesn’t matter anyway. Now that his intentions are clear, Steve drops the shirt and his boxers. A curious glance catches Eddie’s pupils dilating comically, but maybe that’s just from the alcohol.

Eddie backs away from the edge when Steve gets in the water, and they manage to keep their distance.

Barely.

Thursday, August 8th—Steve is itchy, and that’s all he has to report.

They lie around, swim in the pool, and walk on the beach. Nothing eventful, except he’s itchy with anticipation. He’s so close, so fucking close he can practically taste the sweat and salt on Eddie’s skin.

It’s not enough.

Friday, August 9th—midnight tonight and Steve is finally free.

They go for coffee, they hang around—and by hang around, he means Eddie hangs around his periphery as he scours every available source for something they can do tonight, because he has to take his mind off midnight

A bar with an indie band will do.

He tells Eddie about it, who’s got his nose in a book—

“That’s a good one,” Steve tells him.

“Really?”

“I thought it was gonna be, like, a textbook when I picked it up,” Eddie says, flipping a page.

“So did I,” Steve admits, moving around the couch. Eddie scoots for him so they can lie side by side. This is without any real words or indications—Eddie just knows, and he knows when Steve lies down next to him that they’re reading together, now, and asks him quietly if he can turn the page.

The summer home, tucked away in its own little corner of beach-front paradise, has a history far more interesting than the tale at hand, so I will tell it in hopes it makes my story a little fuller, a little brighter—Bill was the heir to the Standard Oil name—

Steve likes this one a lot. He likes Augustine and Betty and James and the drama of it all, and the house on the beach, and all the twisting metaphors, and the way T.S. writes like she’s got a feather in her palm rather than a keyboard at her fingertips. Most of all, he likes that she begins and ends each chapter with a poem, and that his parents had lifted “Holiday House” from this book and plastered it across their own property. He likes that the novel lives here on the shelves of a place named after it. He likes that Eddie’s reading it, now, too. 

They read together through chapters four, five, six, seven, and eight. Eddie seems invested, but the time it’s taken them to get here is enough to have practically starved them both.

“I’ll make us something to eat,” Steve says as Eddie turns to chapter nine, “Keep reading.”

“Without you?”

“I’ve already read it.”

Steve gets up off the couch, missing the warmth Eddie’s body had been exuding, but his hunger supersedes his desire to crawl back onto the couch and fall asleep on Eddie’s chest. 

Tonight.

“Hey, Steve?”

“Mmm?”

“Do you have a pen?”

“Should be one in the desk in the sunroom,” Steve replies without a second thought, “What’re you hungry for?”

That night they go to the aformentioned bar, Eddie get’s a little tipsy, and they have a fantastic time (at first). The band is beyond good, the crowd is loud, and by 10 P.M. these two girls have joined them, and Steve and Eddie are having a hell of a time chatting them up.

Ally and Aubree—neither of which are Steve’s type, but are arguably gorgeous. Blond, sunkissed, wreaking of tequila and sunscreen and cheap perfume. He’s finding it very funny to chat with Aubree (he’s pretty sure it’s Aubree) knowing full well he’ll be pedal-to-the-metal gunning it home at midnight. Maybe he and Eddie won’t even make it out of the car. Maybe they’ll go out to the parking lot and it’ll already be too late for them, falling all over each other into the back-seat while Ally and Aubree disappointedly hunt for different prey.

It dawns on Steve, then, he’s sort of being an ass, but so far, nothing in he and Aubree’s conversation has explicitly alluded to going home together. For all he knows, she’s gonna go home and jump Ally’s bones--same deal as him.

The same, however, cannot be said for Eddie, who is clearly too good at flirting for his own good, and has Ally completely hooked. Steve can’t help glancing over now and again, watching them closely, not feeling jealousy, but more… awe? He’s incredibly impressed with Eddie’s performance.

“You think she’s hotter?” 

Steve starts.

“What?!”

“You think Ally’s hotter than me,” Aubree states again, voice loud over the music and the crowd, but not loud enough for it to catch Ally or Eddie’s attention. 

“No—I—”

Eddie and Ally get up from the table. Something inside Steve’s guts sinks, and sinks low. He watches them disappear into the crowd. He swallows. He turns back to Aubree.

“I think you’re gorgeous,” he says, honestly, “I’m just not looking for a hookup tonight.” 

Aubree grins at the compliment. Steve tries to keep his cool, but he’s feeling the exact opposite of cool. He is, in fact, spiraling. He realizes, in this moment, Eddie may not be attracted to that girl, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not going to oblige her.

Steve had thought this was all fun and games, but now he just wants to throw up.

Not that it’s any of his business what Eddie does. Not that Eddie’s obligated to stick to only him this summer. It’s a fling, afterall.

A fling.

“You wanna dance?” Aubree asks.

"What?"

She points, "Dance!"

The indie-folk vibe is not incredibly conducive to dancing, but Steve’s up for anything if it takes his mind off Eddie and that girl. That girl. Eddie had said verbatim he was gay, right? 

He allows himself to be led to the dance floor.

He tries to forget.

He feels sick.

In the car on the drive back, Steve knows he’s being eerily quiet. He knows Eddie is uncomfortable with his silence. He knows he should turn on the radio, or say something, but all he wants to do is ask if Eddie kissed that girl, if maybe he did something worse than that, and if he had, Steve desperately wants to know how and why and what the logistics of hooking up with some random girl in Maine were when Eddie had said he was gay, and if all gay men could just hook up with women, and if all Eddie had to do was think of Mark Hamil or some other nice guy and that was good enough for him, because a hole is a hole and—

“Are you pissed, or something?”

Eddie’s tone is already accusatory, and it just makes Steve feel worse.

“No.”

“Yes, you are.” 

“Don’t tell me how I feel.”

Eddie scoffs.

“Then don’t act like a kicked puppy because I made out with some random chick at a bar.”

Made out.

Steve goes so quiet it’s like he’s not even breathing, at this point. He feels the urge to cry burning at the back of his skull and he fights it, hard. He knows it’s not his place to be upset—they never said anything about them being exclusive this summer. Steve was flirting with Aubree somewhat, too, and danced with her, even. 

Not really because he’d wanted to, but still.

Steve swallows.

“Are you pissed at me?”

Steve’s eyes don’t leave the road, but his hands grip the wheel so tightly his knuckles are an unnatural shade of white compared to the rest of his skin. He can feel Eddie’s eyes on him—all the more reason not to cry. He’s fighting tooth and nail for it. He doesn’t get why this all feels so bad. He doesn’t get why he’s so upset.

Maybe he had just expected tonight to be their night.

But that’s stupid, isn’t it? “Why the fuck would I be mad at you?”

Steve’s turn to scoff—he has no idea why Eddie would be mad, but it’s hard to believe he isn’t when he sounds so goddamn angry.

“I don’t know.”

“You’re ridiculous, you know?”

“At least I’m not mad.”

“I’m not mad—” Eddie’s getting madder every second.

They pull into the driveway and Steve stops abruptly, pretty much wrenching the key out of the ignition and kicking the driver door open the way Eddie had done to the passenger.

It’s a little satisfying, he will admit. 

He stalks up the driveway, because now he is mad, and hurt, and feeling like he’s been betrayed even though he hasn’t been. He wants to sleep it off. He has to sleep it off. “Now who’s the mad one?!” Eddie calls after him, and Steve's resolve snaps like a twig. He spins around, tears flowing, anger spilling.

“You don’t even like girls!” he yells. Eddie’s so taken aback he literally takes a step back, even though there’s a whole driveway of space between them. “What the fuck kind of asshole makes a guy wait an entire week to be with him, and then two-hours before the week is up, runs off to make out with some random bitch?!"

He hadn't meant that, the bitch part, but it feels so good to say it now, even though he'll feel guilty about it later.

“Why do you care so much?!” Eddie yells back, so furious now he’s literally red in the face— “You’re gonna do the exact same shit a month from now!”

“Says who?!” Steve shouts, “Who the fuck said September 1st is gonna roll around and I’m suddenly not gonna be fucking obsessed with you, Eddie?! Because I have been fucking dying for this week to be over, and it’s gonna fucking kill me to go home, but I’m gonna do it for you, okay?!” 

His chest is heaving. He can feel the red in his cheeks and the salt on his tongue. He is, for maybe the hundredth time, utterly pathetic. But he can’t stop himself.

“Steve—”

“If we’re doing this,” he says, “We’re doing this. You’re mine for twenty-two fucking days. I. Like. You."

Steve turns on his heel and storms inside, leaving the door to Holiday House hanging wide open. As angry as he is, he doesn’t want to risk slamming it shut and having Eddie turn and go. This way, Steve at least knows he’ll follow him inside to shut and lock the door.

He trudges up the stairs and into his room, leaving that door open, too. He peels out of his shirt and unbuckles his belt, pulling it from the loops and tossing it angrily to the floor. He runs his hands through his hair, trying to put himself back in order, halting the flow of tears and taking deep breaths to soothe his anger.

“I’m sorry,” comes quietly from the doorway, “I just—I didn’t know it was serious for you.”

That seems ridiculous, all things considered.

“It’s not for you?”

There’s a long quiet. Steve doesn’t have it in himself to turn around. He should’ve known what he was feeling wasn’t reciprocated—Steve’s not the kind of guy Eddie wants or needs, and for some reason he hadn’t prepared himself for that, even though he knew it all along. He should be grateful, take what he can get, but all he feels is—

“I was trying to… I thought you would feel better about all this if you thought I didn’t care,” Eddie admits. “I thought if you knew how much I fucking liked you, you wouldn’t let me have you at all.”

Steve spins around, hands on his hips, chest still heaving.

“What time is it?”

Eddie blinks. He looks thoroughly disheveled, still red, and sheepish, like somehow he’s humiliated himself. In a few ways, he has acted like a fucking fool, but Steve is no less attracted to the idiot now than he was before. He did a stupid fucking thing, but Steve has done a hundred stupid fucking things in his life, and he’ll do a hundred fucking more. Eddie's logic is sort-of sound, he just wishes he would've said something to Steve instead of taking it out on some random girl.

“What?”

“What. Time. Is. It?” Steve demands again. Eddie stammers, eyes darting around the room until they land on the alarm clock on Steve’s bedside table.

“Twelve-thirty? Are we—”

Steve doesn’t let him finish.

He surges forward and seizes Eddie by the face, bringing their mouths together insistently, all tongue and teeth and spit and bitter remnants of tears. Eddie get’s hands on his ass and he moans about it, which spurs the older boy forward, and they go tumbling back into Steve’s bed.

I love you, he thinks.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie mumbles against his throat before he's sucking and biting and soothing with his tongue and Steve is reduced to sensation--Eddie's body on top of his, knee between his thighs, bedsheets against his back--

“Prove it,” Steve breathes.

And he does—over and over and over again.

End Part 2

(Previous Part)

[arkhamintensive]

do your rogues have their own lore that differs from how theyre portrayed in canon? is there a specific version youre drawing from? ive seen the whole dork squad so far, do you have any other rogues youve made your own? sorry for all the questions, your blog is really cool and i wanna know things!!

please tell me about your eddie, i have an addiction to riddle men-

HELLO THANK YOU FOR THE QUESTION, LONG ANNOYING POST AHEAD!! <3 Apologies it's poorly formatted

So!!

Despite being in this silly fandom since around 2011/2012, I've only just started playing with AUs and designs (with the exception of the funny animalverse, those designs have been used and reworked since around 2013/14!) so the lore doesn't run too deep, but I'll try my best to summarise!

This AU is for my simpler designs and more grounded (word used very loosely... it's Batman) backstories. The presence of metahumans, insane powers and general abstractisms is reduced, but not eliminated. I'd consider this to be my "main" verse

I have a few AUs with some very cobbled together lore, but my main ones I'm actively working on are the following!

-Wikiverse (my main doodleverse)

These are the human designs I tend to use the most in my art as they're easy and fun to draw!

The only solidified designs I have so far for this AU are Riddler and Hatter (see below!). I've made a couple of small edits to Jervis' design recently but haven't had a chance to upload them!

I desperately need to make a solidified design for Scarecrow, but I can never settle on one! I'm considering using the design from the Halloween piece I did though as he's ever so fun to draw

Lorewise, this is all very new to me so it's a major work in progress!

Edward's lore will take a lot of inspiration from the BTAS lore (I like the idea of him being a games designer (I'll get into this one in a bit more detail later).

Johnathan's backstory will focus on him being unfulfilled with his job as a psychiatrist, and opting to use unethical methods to try and control/manipulate people for his own entertainment. I want him to hit a breaking point where he develops his toxin to use the power of fear to get people to behave how he wants them to, all while claiming it's for the greater good and entirely unselfish reasons. His big break/the moment where he becomes the scarecrow is going to be when he decides to toxin bomb a "fundraiser dinner" hosted and attended by the alumni/staff of the university he used to lecture at. I'm going to borrow heavily from the origin stories that focus on him being a complete outcast all through his academic life, and his desire to seek revenge on those who shunned him

Jervis' backstory is the most complete one I have, you can find it in thread form on my Twitter here! The too long didn't read version can be seen on his ref, but that leaves out a LOT of key details. With this one I borrowed little bits from all over the shop, so I don't really have a particular point of inspiration I can cite!

This is the AU I want to develop most! I'd love to create some more designs. I think once I've finalised my Scarecrow I might give Two Face or Ivy a go!

-Dreamstateverse (For more experimental designs and concepts)

This one is barely developed, but will house my more complex/wacky designs. I'd like to use this one for some more experimental work, something that really lets me push the boat out.

The general premise for this AU is that everything is completely insane. There are drugs in the water, the GCPD has collapsed, batman is struggling to keep up and the rogues are just running riot. Due to the otherworldly, psychedelic nature of this AU, I'm pinning Hatter as the main baddie

This AU is going to be a lot more flexible with metahumans and weird powers! All cards on the table, anything goes.

The only finalised design I have for this one is Edward! It's very gaudy and his whole outfit clashes, but that's kind of the point of a lot of the dreamstate designs!

The other two designs I'm currently working on are for Hatter and Music Meister! Music Meister's design is in the gross messy stage right now so I unfortunately have nothing to share, but I do have a doodle of Jervis' design! Going crazy... making him a bit tall...

Main rogues I want to design for this one (that I haven't already started) are Scarecrow, Ivy, Harley and I think The Ventriloquist would be fun!

-Everything is the same except Gotham is in Britain-verse

This one is for a longform story driven RP between me and a friend! It's a lot more grounded and takes place in England because that's a lot easier for us to write. I do not know an awful lot about big American cities

It focuses mostly on very early versions of the rogues, and how they get into their gimmicks and crimes. Riddler and Scarecrow are the main characters of this one, but we've also got Harley, Jervis, Selena and Ivy as side characters!

It's a sprawling mess lorewise so I don't think I'd be able to summarise, but it's very fun and silly. We have a large cast of original characters in the mix too!

-Funny animalverse

This is my oldest AU... if you can call it that. I just gave different characters fursonas and use them to doodle... That's all there is to it!

Edward is a fox, Jervis is a weird dog thing (but he's a hare when he's nervous/unstable), Music Meister is a ferret and John is a scraggy barn cat!

(Ignore the species, I've changed this recently to make him more of a basset hound mix!)

And once again... John's design is unfinished... I think I just get nervous designing him, he's very fun but so hard!!

Anyway, there's no lore here, I just use them as my own personal action figures !

E D W A R D S

Standard issue abusive dad backstory

I'm going to try and summarise the lore of my main Eddie's! I want to develop them all into full backstories but for now please enjoy my notes!

Wikiverse:

Worked hard. Studied programming and computer science. Became a game designer

Online personality. Made a lot of videos showcasing how the

industry works, what his role is, programming tutorials etc

Small gaming company he worked for was bought by a larger company who implemented unethical business practices

Speaks out about these online, company sees it as slander and fires him

Name is scrubbed from credits, no royalties given. Goes to complain but CEO laughs in his face and calls him an idiot (sneaky bits in the contract allowing the company to do this)

Enraged, Edward disappears, resurfacing months later under a new persona. Kidnaps the CEO and other involved parties and forces them to partake in game/puzzle like death traps.

Broadcasts the whole thing live to local Gotham news station

Sets up proxy broadcast locations and covers his tracks near perfectly. Leaves cryptic clues that lead to a lot of red herrings and dead ends (with trick answers so he can pretend he's not cheating)

Continues puzzle themed general crimes/heists to gather funds and just to prove how smart he is

Personalitywise, he's quite dorky, but also a completely flamboyant showoff. He's very keen on keeping up appearances and coming across as well put together

Dreamstateverse:

This one I still need to work out. Similar to the previous Eddie, this one is an incredible showoff, and excessively flamboyant. He's very keen on taking any chance he has to show how much better he is than everyone else

Despite his desperation to appear cool and collected, he has an incredibly short temper and will loose it if things don't go his way

I want to say prior to his criminal life, he had some sort of job within the local Gotham government. I think it'd be fun for him to utilise insider information he gained during his career in his schemes

Unfortunately Englandverse:

Once again, the lore for this AU is sprawling so I can't go over it all, but here's a handy dandy list of some key points

Edward grew up in the USA with an abusive father. He sucked at school (he was smart, but he despised the schooling system and often acted out for attention) and got kicked out by the time he was 16

After getting kicked out by his father for failing school, he lives rough for a short while before joining a travelling carnival. He's put in charge of running some of the carnival games (which he rigs) and enjoys himself greatly

The carnival is run by some shady characters who quickly pick up on Edward's smarts. They teach him the tricks of the shadier parts of the trade, focusing on forgery (tax documents, health and safety documents etc etc)

He makes a name for himself as an expert forger, over time accumulating a great deal of notoriety and a decent amount of cash

After becoming bored with the carnival, he decides to move overseas after being offered a shady paperwork job with a well known drugs baron

He continues to work for the baron, getting closer and closer to him over time to learn more about how he operates his business. Over time, Edward becomes bored with the work he was given, and utilises his closeness with the baron (alongside his forgery skills and attention to detail), to kill off the baron and falsely inherit his empire

For a short while, Edward is happy with his work, enjoying being in a position of power, but he quickly becomes bored again, desperately seeking out a new thrill. He begins to target high profile individuals that "pose a threat to his business", forcing them through a variety of puzzles, traps, extortion schemes etc. He broadcasts these antics on hijacked TV signals, claiming that it's to quell corruption in the city (he utilises very manipulative language in order to get the common people on his side). In actual fact, it's all just a game for him, something he uses to entertain and prove himself

I like the idea of him having a fair amount of public support, until he runs out of "genuine" targets and starts forcing the regular citizens of Gotham to partake in his games

Lots of other small details, twists and turns that explain decisions and motivations better, but I think I'd need a whole essay to cover it

The summary for this one is he's just an incredibly smart, power hungry bastard who likes attention

He's also prone to tantrums if things don't go his way. His ego is very easily wounded and his screaming fits are biblical in proportions.

That being said, if he takes a shining to someone he is fiercely loyal (if a little clingy)

That's all I can think of to write right now!!! Thank you again so much for your question and I'm so sorry I threw War and Peace at you!

[bmodiwrites]

I'll Dial Drunk

Hi friends! I'm back with something that's been brewing since Noah Kahan released the extended version of his newest album. Dial Drunk is the motivation for this one - I hope you like what my mind cooked up! There will be a second part, so be on the lookout for that. You can read I'll Dial Drunk below or over on AO3. Please like, reblog, and let me know what you think!

The mahogany under Steve’s arm is slippery like grease, covered in both sweat from the bar’s patrons and slick from the coating used to keep its shine. He tries not to look down at the reflective surface – his mirror image is just as bad as the one Steve projects out into the world and he’s already depressed. Seeing examples of his downfall never helps.  

For the fourth night in a row, Steve sits at the far corner of The Hideout, sipping a drink. There aren’t many lights that surround him so Steve is usually unbothered and undisturbed while he drowns his sorrows in whiskey and rum. After so many years of isolation, that’s how Steve likes it. He doesn’t know how to converse with strangers anymore – his allotted charm hit it’s peak so long ago that Steve can’t even remember what normal interaction is actually like.

Tonight is somehow different. There’s a charge in the air that Steve can’t seem to push past or ignore. He takes a deep breath, testing out the oxygen level in the room. Though it supplies him with what his body needs, Steve can smell the lingering anticipation.

Or maybe, he’s just really fucking drunk.

The whiskey in his hands is warm by now, the ice he ordered in it all but melted and watering down the drink. Steve throws it back anyway, well aware of the waste it would be if he doesn’t. His money isn’t something he can just throw away now. With so much agony following him around, disappearing into his mind isn’t beneficial. These days, it’s easier to live in the back of his head than exist in the real world – working a job included. It’s lonelier there, sad in so many ways that a lack of steady income doesn’t even break into the top five.

At least in his head, Steve is surrounded by the family he once had. Dustin and the kids aren’t gone yet, the sleepy little town they all grew up in hasn’t chased them away. They’re available for him outside of the holidays that blow by in a haze of too little time and so much to do every time his surrogate kids come back to see their families. His mind perfectly preserved the happy moments where Steve is at his best and not lonelier than any man should be.

What’s lacking in his real life, Steve clings to in his thoughts.

Unsurprisingly, Steve also keeps a perfectly rendered picture of the one that got away tucked back there, mingling with all of his other good memories. In his head, Eddie Munson is bright eyed and 21 years old. There are scars that mark him but beauty radiates from him all the same. In the handful of years since Eddie turned him away, Steve’s mental picture and it’s clarity hasn’t changed a single bit. He can’t forget dimpled smiles and chocolate button eyes that were so easy to love – no matter what drawing up that vision costs him.

And the toll of clinging onto such memories is so very high. Steve struggles to make it from day to day after nights where Eddie and the kids live in the forefront of his mind. When they’re tucked away and out of sight, Steve can almost forget the pain that radiates from his chest and magnifies as it goes down. He can do his job and wake up in the morning without too much heartache. For some of the long days, Steve manages with barely a passing thought for those who left him behind.

Days like today are impossible, however. Hell, the last few days haven’t been all that good. After hearing about Eddie on the radio, Steve is stuck in the moments where that brilliant man was his - even if they are few and far between. The alcohol numbs the need to desperately seek Eddie out, to run across Hawkins and demand to be taken back. Yet, it enhances the want for him, for the life they should’ve had even more. The impossible conundrum is neither solved nor soothed by whiskey on the rocks, though Steve keeps drinking all the same.

How can he not when thirty came and went last fall and Steve’s not any closer to being where he wants in life or with the people he needs so very desperately? As the world turned on around him, Steve dug his heels in and tried to stop it from spinning him off his axis. This place, this town - it’s all he’s ever known. After all the trauma, Steve is certain he made the right decision to stay right where he is, consequences be damned.

A loud bang a few feet down the bar draws Steve away from his melancholy, all sad thoughts halting. A new group is starting to get passed the point of socially drunk – the ruckus they’re going to cause is a little more than Steve can take at the moment. Instead of asking for one more like most nights, Steve signals to the bar tender, requesting the check.

“All done for the night, Harrington?” Gareth asks, a worried look on his face. Steve watches him glance between the rowdy group and himself. There’s a tension there that Steve can’t quite place. Despite being one of the bars best customers, Gareth seems eager to have Steve gone.

Instead of wondering why, Steve’s drunk brain grasps onto the question the bartender asked. “Sure am. Gotta save a little of that liquor for the next time I’m here.” Steve tries to smile but it falls flat - there’s nothing nice about being a drunk and knowing it. The hilarity of the situation is long gone now that Steve is stuck in this rut and can’t seem to get out.

After making quick work of his change, Gareth nods at Steve and turns back to help the other group demanding his attention. Steve shakes his head to clear it, then starts his trek over to the main entrance. He’s wobbling and a bit tipsy on his feet but they eventually start to work and clumsily carry him across the room. Of course, they can’t whisk him away fast enough to avoid hearing something that is guaranteed to set him off.

“Did you hear the freak is back in town?”

“Yeah, man. I saw him at the coffee shop with his uncle. Still as freaky as ever.”

“I don’t know why that Munson kid ever comes back. He’s never been welcome here.”

With each new scathing remark, Steve forgets himself a little more. Despite not being Eddie’s for a long time now, Steve can’t help the way his heart lurches anytime someone speaks badly of him. There’s so much this stupid town doesn’t know; Eddie is a savior and part of the reason Hawkins is still standing. He wonders briefly if they would think differently of him if the truth were to come out. Though, that’s quickly brushed away in favor of the rising anger Steve isn’t even trying to control. Why should he when there’s nothing to lose?

Turning around, Steve makes quick work of stumbling back over to the group who’s now cackling madly. There’s a moment where Gareth looks at him, even shakes his head, but Steve ignores him. It’s already too late to turn back now. How can he, anyway? Eddie’s never deserved the hand he was dealt. After a decade, the trash talk needs to go away for good.

“I’ve never liked that word – freak. Especially when it’s coming from boys like you,” Steve says, squaring up his shoulders to bring himself to full height. He’s surrounded on all sides by assholes but he’s not afraid. For the first time in a long time, Steve feels alive.

The leader of the group, some Jason Carver wannabe, turns to Steve, looking him up and down. There’s recognition that’s quickly diminished into a hatred only people in Hawkins can understand.

“What makes you think I give a shit what the town drunk has to say?”

There are snickers following the attempted insult; this ring leader has all of his flunkies trained well. Steve ignores them, however, setting his sights on the guy dumb enough to step up and take the bait. Despite not being athletic anymore and a little older than he was, Steve knows he can win a fight. There’s been more than a few in this very spot that ended in victory for Steve. He’s not afraid nor cowed by a jackass who talks about something he’s got no business even bringing up.

“You care enough to turn around and clap back. I’d say you’re pretty invested.” Steve smirks at that, knowing he’s got this guy right where he wants him.

As expected, the man takes a step towards Steve, his fingers clenching. “I would watch yourself if I were you. 7 to 1 isn’t much of a fight.”

Without thinking or even trying to act rationally, Steve smiles wider – his eyes darkening. “I like those odds,” he mutters a second before drawing back his right arm and swinging.

The punch lands right where he wants it. Steve is happy to see that the guy is all talk and no action. He blows back against the bar like he’s been hit by a truck, not a simple thing like Steve’s fist. His face is pinched into a grimace that gets worse when he sees the rest of the group just standing there staring.

“You’re just going to let him do that to me?” Steve’s victim roars, his hands that are covering his nose muffling the sound. A few of the guys jump into action while the rest take a step back. They’re smart not to take on a crazy person without anything to lose.

For what seems like hours, Steve fights them off. He throws punches and lets a few glance off him to get the advantage. By the time there’s blue and red flashing lights in the window, everyone is sporting at least one black eye and Steve’s knuckles are torn open, each one of them bleeding enough to leave track marks down the side of Steve’s shirt and jeans. He looks murderous and Hop says so as he’s putting him into cuffs.

“You look fucking rabid, Harrington. Ain’t nothing worth this.” Hop’s words are harsh but his hands are gentle on Steve’s wrists. They’ve been through this song and dance a few times before. All because of Eddie – always because of that damn boy.

“You don’t even know him anymore, Steve. Why do you do this to yourself?”

Steve contemplates that answer all the way to the station while he sits in the back of Hop’s squad car. The fifteen minute drive is enough to sober him somewhat, though there’s still a long way to go before clarity sets in. His mind is addled but one thing is clear, Eddie is always worth the punches Steve throws. Always.

After getting dragged into the station, Hop throws Steve into a chair in front of his desk. He sits down heavily, the tiredness of getting his ass kicked starting to set in. They both know exactly who Steve wants to call but Hop makes him wait. They toil in silence for ages, staring at each other but not seeing. Glancing but never quite making eye contact.

When this first happened, Hop tried his best to guide Steve. To this day the man feels like a father figure that Steve never had in his own daddy. Yet, Steve is and always has been too stubborn to do what’s best for himself. He’s ruled by emotion that weighs him down and forces him to remain stagnant. He’s stuck in the past where genuine happiness exists - even if it’s just for those handful of months. Steve doesn’t want to forget the way his heart pounded or the shape of Eddie’s lips against his own. Every trip to the police station is worth it. It has to be when Steve has nothing left.

It’s obvious that neither of them are going to talk so Hop huffs out an impatient breath before reaching for the phone on his desk. Steve usually dials the number but Hop doesn’t let him this time. His fingers glide over the buttons, the rhythm of it like music to Steve’s ears.

There’s a singular moment where Steve thinks Hop isn’t going to hand over the phone – a look in his eyes that Steve can’t quite decipher. Though, it’s gone as fast as it came; the receiver is in Steve’s hands before the slightest idea of what Hop is thinking comes to the surface of Steve’s drunken mind. Everyone has their problems, that much is obvious.

Like every time before, Hop leaves him to his own devices. After the call went unanswered the second time and Steve flipped out, Hop’s taken to giving him some privacy. Despite his misconduct, the town’s sheriff doesn’t actually want to arrest Steve. There’s too much history to allow a small misdemeanor to truly ruin Steve’s life. This, the handcuffs, the time spent in the station – it’s all a familiar procedure now. The choreography is soothing in a world where Steve knows there aren’t guarantees. At least some things never change.

The continual ringing of the phone in his hand pulls Steve back to the present. Usually, there’s a couple of half assed rings and then a long dial tone before the operator hops on to say the number has been disconnected. After Eddie pushed him out the door a decade ago, the trailer’s number never worked again, despite the millions of times Steve dialed it time and time again. The disconnection of that bond still stings, so Steve is perplexed to hear the ringing continue. It goes and goes until there’s a click and a miracle truly happens.

“Munson residence, this is Eddie.”

Steve’s breath catches and for a second, he forgets himself. He forgets that he’s been trying to get through for years and years. Steve is suddenly back in his bedroom with that voice whispering in his ear. It’s like 10 years of hurt and pain no longer exist.

Then, reality comes crashing back.

“If you’re one of those fuckers calling to yell about damnation, you can save it!”

Gasping, Steve clings to the here and now to reply before the call is hung up.

“Wait, wait. Don’t go, Eddie!”

There’s silence.

Then –

“Steve? Is that really you?”

“Yeah, Eddie. It’s me. I can’t – I can’t believe you finally picked up. 10 years later.”

“How did you – never mind. Where are you? And why are you calling?”

Steve scoffs, his emotions all over the place. “I’ve been calling for years – just to maybe hear your voice. Of course you finally answer when I’m stuck in handcuffs at the police station. How fucked is that?”

A chuckle sounds down the line, the vibration of it genuine and true in Steve’s ears. He wants to cry from the relief of finally hearing such a happy noise again. It’s insane knowing how much better he feels just from that one second of joyful sound.

“You called me as your one phone call? What would’ve happened if I didn’t pick up?”

“Well, you never have before. Hop usually throws me in the holding cell and lets me sleep it off. I cry for a bit and then drop into an exhausted slumber where I dream about you. Pretty standard stuff.”

“Oh, Steve – “  

The tone of Eddie’s voice is raw and pitying – any other time, Steve would’ve lashed out in order to protect himself and his pride. Yet, he’s too weak and relieved to hear Eddie at all that Steve let’s it slide. He clings to it, even – the dulcet tones of worry are better than the silence that usually follows him around.

“I’m okay, Eddie. Drunk and bruised up but okay. Better than ever now.”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this but sit tight, okay? I’ll be there soon.”

Steve can’t process the words so he hums and holds the phone tightly to his ear, keeping it there even after Eddie hangs up and the dial tone is all that’s left. Steve clings and clings until Hop walks back into the room and takes the receiver from him.

“He picked up this time, Hop. Must be my lucky day.”

Hop looks at him for a moment, contemplating whether Steve needs to know that he dialed the right number instead of the one Steve always uses before deciding against it. He simply smiles in Steve’s direction, placating the drunken boy who still feels like a son. For so many years, Hop watched Steve drag himself down. Tonight, putting him in the car was just too much. Hop isn’t all that certain Wayne won’t hate him later but Steve’s happiness is worth whatever backlash he may get. This thing, the isolation between two kids obviously still gone for each other, has gone on long enough.

Steve and Hop wait at the desk until the station’s front door opens. For Steve, the entire world stops – there’s no spinning on an axis or time passing him by. There’s only Eddie.

Despite 10 years continuing on, Eddie isn’t much different. There are a few laugh lines around his eyes and a new scar over his right eyebrow. He’s a little heavier because exercising is for the weak but that’s about it. Steve is transported back to the easy days when summer vacation and what’s for lunch were his only worries. His fingers itch to bury themselves in the thick strands of curly hair still hanging past Eddie’s shoulders, kinky and long as always. Steve wants so much that he’s overwhelmed and completely mute the entire time Eddie and Hop discuss the situation.

By the time Hop is taking him out of the cuffs, Steve’s drunkenness has reached a critical level. It’s difficult to hobble out to the car, even with the warm press of Eddie against his side. Steve is so intoxicated that he can’t even enjoy the rare gift that being next to Eddie is. He’s happy to simply be there with him, to sit in the passenger seat of a new car that smells like Eddie and the burn of Marbolo Reds. Steve can only smile and nod when Eddie asks him questions. There’s no cognition of what he’s being asked to do or say but Steve is happy all the same. For the first time in a decade, he drifts off to sleep without a semblance of tightness or misery sitting in his belly.

——

“Hey there, Stevie – “

The all too familiar voice has Steve turning over, a soft smile on his face. He can tell it’s Eddie talking to him, there’s no mistaking the affection that sounds in his ears, yet the outline of his body is hazy and unfocused. Steve reaches up to rub at his eyes but it’s no use. The achingly familiar tease of Eddie just barely out of his reach is so familiar, Steve knows he’s dreaming.

Despite that, he extends his arm in Eddie’s direction. Steve’s fingers throb with a desperate need to touch, the ache so very familiar. Like usual, Steve gets so close that the feeling of Eddie’s leather jacket under his skin is almost tangible. While the memory of that touch lingers, the real thing hovers away for no justifiable reason. Steve’s come to the conclusion that he’s not allowed happiness. After so long, he’s used to never getting what he wants.

The sound of a coffee maker beeping draws Steve out of his restless dream. He blinks awake with a heavy sigh, both frustrated and glad to be free of that glorious torture – at least until he manages to try and rest again later. Stretching in hopes of forgetting the turmoil already setting in, Steve leans into the feeling of his muscles loosening. He’s sore enough to know a fight occurred without the memories having to resurface. A quick flex of his hand drives that reality home tenfold. There are cracks and cuts across the skin, though they’re lacking the caked on dry blood that’s usually looking back at him. In fact, all of his injuries have been taken care of.

With this newfound knowledge, Steve finally takes in the rest of his surroundings. Instead of the corner of a jail cell, Steve is reclined on a decently comfortable couch. There is a pillow under his head and a handmade blanket over top of him. Everything smells familiar, like Eddie’s cologne and the natural musk of a well-loved home. He’s startled to realize that whatever happened last night isn’t a dream his hopeful heart concocted.

That’s further proven by a cup of coffee being pushed into his hands a couple of minutes later. Steve is so dumbstruck that it takes a second for his body to cooperate. Eddie patiently waits in front of him until there’s no risk of spilling hot liquid. Despite the warmth of the drink, Steve takes a handful of desperate sips before even thinking about taking on whatever’s coming next.

Surprisingly, it’s silence that follows. Steve watches Eddie drink his coffee. In return, those brown eyes stay on Steve, too. There’s some sort of stalemate happening that’s not going to be broken by Steve. He’s too busy soaking Eddie in while the caffeine of the coffee is absorbed into his blood stream. Little by little, Steve gets a better grip on himself – his heart starts beating fast, it’s normal reaction to Eddie so close. Instead of the sluggish drunk of last night, Steve becomes the person he truly is.

A lost soul with a lot of unresolved feelings.

Eddie must see that because he finally breaks the ice developing up between them.

“You look like shit, man.”

Forgetting himself for a second, Steve can’t help but laugh. His chest heaves with the unexpected intensity of such an emotion. For a minute at least, Steve chuckles until there are tears streaming down his face.

“Fuck – I forgot how much you make me feel.” Steve takes a second, let’s himself calm down. Then, he trucks on. “I am shit, Eddie. Have been for years now. I can’t believe you’re actually here. I thought I dreamed last night up.”

“Trust me, I’m very real.” Eddie stops for a second, inelegantly staring Steve down. “It’s crazy to think my first adventure back home is with you. After all this time, it’s like nothing’s changed.”

“You’re shitting me, right? Nothing’s changed? I called you from jail last night, Eddie. Like I’ve done at least a dozen times before. Everything has changed.”

Eddie has the decency to look embarrassed, his big brown eyes watering up before he blinks the moisture away. Steve can’t help but want those tears to fall, to see some sort of emotion that comes close to Steve’s own. After a decade of thinking about this moment, Steve is lost in a sea of overwhelm, unable to doggy paddle effectively. He wants so much, it’s hard to process what’s actually happening.

Though, he eventually gets himself together enough to ask the question burning up his mind. “Why did you pick up now? I’ve called plenty of times when you were in town before. The phone just rang and rang until the operator popped on to tell me I’m an idiot for calling a disconnected number. I’ve been listening to that recorded message so long it’s a comfort to hear.”

Steve isn’t ready for the sudden infiltration of his space but deals with it when Eddie takes up the couch cushion next to him. Their thighs are inches from touching, the heat between them tangible. Steve so desperately wants to lash out and push Eddie away, to return the treatment he himself received. Yet, the comfort of a familiar body next to him is too much to handle. The fight leaves Steve within seconds.

“Hop dialed for you last night. He put in Wayne’s new number and you finally got through. I don’t know why he waited so long to share it with you, Steve. I’m suddenly aware of a lot of things I didn’t know.”

The bubbling pit of sadness Steve deals with on a daily basis drops a little further into his stomach. The realization that Hop could have helped him long ago settles in, making Steve feel heavy. It takes a second or two to come to the understanding that though it hurt him, Hop was trying to protect Steve, too.

“He was trying to save me, I’m sure. From this,” Steve says, waving his hands back and forth between them. “I’m a very weak man but that’s nothing compared to the fall out that’s about to come. Now that you’re here, I see very clearly that I’m going to have to give you up again.”

Tears are falling down Steve’s cheeks long before he realizes it. His shirt, or maybe Eddie’s because it’s a touch too tight across the chest, is getting wet, the collar collecting his sadness by the second. Steve is too tired and wrung out to reach up and swipe at each traitorous one. Instead, he lets them flow.

A soft hand on his chin stops Steve’s spiral. Guitar calloused fingers are so recognizable it’s like they’re 20 again, touching for the first time. Though, that thought jolts Steve back to reality and he shifts away. Little tastes of things he’s never going to be able to keep aren’t good for him. He’s an addict that isn’t anywhere near following the path to recovery. This bump, this small little hit, it’s going to put him back years.

“Don’t do that, Eddie. Don’t touch me like it’s not going to kill me. Don’t pretend that you care.”

“I do care. I’ve cared since before Vecna came in and destroyed our lives. I left because I care, Steve. Why can’t you see that?”

A red flash of rage swims in Steve’s vision. He’s much to hungover to be having this conversation but it’s happening, nonetheless. Steeling himself, Steve says the things he’s wanted to since the separation occurred.  

“That’s bull shit. If you cared, you never would have left. You never would have turned your back on me.”

“Steve, you shut me out. I told you I needed to leave for your safety and mine. I said I had to go because this town doesn’t forgive or forget. We were getting death threats every day. You, me, my uncle – even the kids. I couldn’t put you guys through that anymore.” Eddie’s voice rises, his anger peaking. “You decided you weren’t going to talk to me anymore. That the distance between us was too big to handle.”

“Because I needed you! I needed you to be there for me. You left right after my parents did, abandoning me like them. You took off without asking me how I felt about it. I would’ve braved every single person in town who thought they had the right to say something to or about you. Hell, I punched that guy last night in the face because he let your name fall from his lips. You’re worth the fight, Eddie. Even now.”

Steve’s so lost in his anger and resentment that it’s impossible to continue. If he says another word or thinks another thought, Steve’s positive he’s going to explode. There’s so much he wants to scream in Eddie’s face but none of it matters. Eddie is crying and Steve, despite the time and baggage between them, can’t stand to see the sight. No matter how often he wished to cause Eddie the same pain Steve deals with daily, he can’t deal with the reality of it. Without thought, both of his arms wrap around Eddie’s shoulders and pull until they’re chest to chest, hugging each other tightly.

For now, it’s the only thing they can give to each other, unresolved issues be damned. Steve knows that by the way all the fight leaves Eddie’s body. He feels it in the squeeze Eddie gives him back. There is no resolution or simple answers in sight. After so long, there might never be.

Leaning into Eddie’s touch, Steve comes to the conclusion that this right here, coming back together after years of miscommunication and anger, is everything and nothing, the perfectly imperfect way things work out following desperate hurt and sadness that separated entities meant to exist as one. There’s no way of knowing what happens next but Steve is content to rest in Eddie’s arms.

There, he is safe.

There, Steve can feel whole again.

In the moment, that’s all Steve really needs.

tag list (message if you’d like to be added): @infinite-orangepeel, @thefreakandthehair, @corrodedcoughin, @prettyboisteveharrington, 

[bunnyanqel]

A Simple Favor (1)

[1]  [2]  [3]  [4]  [5]

Summary: In return for subbing in their D&D campaign, Lucas's cousin Aliyah asks for one simply thing: a date with Eddie Munson. Unfortunately, he's kind of an idiot and will have to do some groveling to get back in her good graces.

Warnings: nsfw content, MDNI, 18+, a dash of angst, oral sex, vaginal fingering, profanity, mentions of drug use

｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡ ﾟ。 also on AO3 ! 　ﾟ･｡･ﾟ

Aliyah had always brushed aside Dungeons and Dragons as uninteresting and dramatic. But now she was reconsidering her stance on it for one reason alone: Eddie Munson. The possibility of being in his larger-than-life presence and being able to add more detail to her fantasies of him was hard to ignore.

“Let me get this straight,” she said to the two baby-faced freshman staring back at her with ill-disguised desperation as she rubbed her temples, “you want me to sub for my cousin because he’s at a basketball game.” She emphasized the summary with a small hand gesture as she leaned back in her chair, examining them.

Mike had an edge of anger to him that she didn’t particularly like but Dustin had pleading blue eyes that made it hard to deny them. Even with Mike’s little asshole routine that made her want to punch him square in his smarmy face.

The boys shared a glance.

“Basically,” Dustin admitted with a cheerful smile.

She set her chair back on all four legs, the small bounce of gravity jerking her breasts painfully. Both boys’s eyes darted down to her chest. Freshman. To be a fourteen-year-old brimming with hormones.

“Who’s the DM?” she asked like she didn’t know. As if Eddie Munson’s dimpled smile and his wicked tongue weren’t the stars in her fantasies late at night.

Mike, being the little shit he was, scoffed dismissively.

“Oh, okay, so you don’t need me to fill in for Lucas. Got it.” She watched as Dustin panicked, grabbing Mike’s scrawny arm to drag him a few inches away to have an angry, whispered conversation. While she watched them, she peered around the half-dead cafeteria and sneered at the curious glances being cast their way.

Having moved from New York to here had been the worst thing to happen to her. She’d lived in small towns before, sure, but Hawkins was something else as far as tiny towns were concerned. Like its own mundane, average version of Hell.

More than one student had mocked her looks, her accent, everything about her but she’d simply lifted her chin and laughed in their faces. So what if they didn’t like her dreads and dark skin? So what if they snickered at her well-worn sweaters that she’d thrifted and her skirt that were years out of season? None of that mattered. In a year, she’d be gone, and bumfuck Hawkins would be a distant memory she would forget.

Except for Eddie.

He would stay in her heart, her own little secret, a kindred spirit kept close, even after the memories faded.

“Look.”

She turned back to the freshmen. Dustin’s face was pink-cheeked, slightly dewy with perspiration. Mike’s entire demeanor was sullen and sour, a complete contrast.

Mike cleared his throat and muttered, “I’m sorry, okay? We just—we really need a substitute for Lucas, and he mentioned a while ago you play.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever, kid. But who’s the DM?” She watched their faces, the long, nervous glance they exchanged, a silent conversation. Deliberating on giving her the information. Where they worried she’d be just like the rest of Hawkins High? “Boys, do you really think I give a flying fuck about what the idiots here think? I can, and often times do, form my own opinions.” She pursed her lips. “Outside of public opinion.”

She leaned back and crossed her ankle over her knee, ignoring how much unshaved leg it showed.

Mike wrinkled his nose.

“You got an issue with me, kid?” she asked as she lowered her boot back down and leaned forward, narrowing her eyes at him. “Cause you might wanna rethink that considering I’m—”

Dustin cut in, voice cracking with panic. “No! He doesn’t! He—he—”

“Baby,” she said, “let him speak. He has a tongue, doesn’t he?” Aliyah kept her eyes on his friend, watching as his sallow face mottled red. “You might be coddled by everyone around you, including mommy and daddy, but I won’t. So maybe try to be a little more polite, and I might help you boys out.”

In the back of her mind, she knew she’d agree. How could she pass up the opportunity to be in Eddie’s presence? Up close and person? She was a sucker for him, through and through, but they didn’t need to know that.

“No.” Mike’s jaw twitched. “I don’t.”

The hateful glare said otherwise, but Dustin looked one second away from either shitting himself or bursting into tears so she let it slide.

“Okay. I’ll do it.”

“But—”

She looked at Dustin as she climbed to her feet and ran a hand across the back of her neck beneath the heavy hang of her hair. “You want me to recant my statement?” she asked and watched as panic filled Dustin’s sun-tanned face. “Good. I’ll see you boys at seven.”

“Wait, how do you—”

She picked up her purse and simply waved them off as she strode away. Her heart was beating so loud, she thought everyone she passed could hear it, and her blood had begun to rush at the idea of being so close to Eddie.

Finally.

Fucking finally.