#I decided to stop like 3 years ago because it was putting a huge strain on our relationship and I didn’t want to be the authority anymore

[lovestrucklovesickslut]

being the oldest sibling is just this sometimes

[jae-canikeepyou]

| adjacent | j.jh

pair: jaehyun x fem!reader

word count: 18k+ (unedited & not proof read)

summary: jaehyun turns into a golden retriever whenever the day reaches the most beautiful time; golden hour. a secret he kept his entire life & always wonders how long he could keep it, especially when you suddenly showed up.

genre: au + golden retriever!jaehyun + hs!nct

a/n: idk what came to me as i brainstormed this but by now, nctzens and valentines should know jaehyun’s a golden retriever :3 so i decided to write a plot for this adorable fact T^T heavily inspired with fruits basket and beauty & the beast! i really hope you’ll like it. lmk what you think! enjoy reading lovelies! ~j

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time was ticking real quick.

he rushed through the bustling people, avoiding the narrow crowds and jay-walked countless pedestrian crossings. he needed to hide. no one should see him transform. there was little time left. why was he so careless each time this happened? his parents and younger brother warned him to be alert at all times. did he listen? no, never did. they compared him to a rock— hard headed and stubborn. but all he ever wanted was to be free.

curses! just a little more, a few metres more! he pant as he tried to catch air. he felt his flesh tingling, his senses doubling and tripling. jaehyun peddled as fast as he could, at least reach the line of bushes by the basketball court. hopping over the plants, he threw his bag aside and jumped off his bike before bracing for the fall.

the now broken bell sounded horrible as jaehyun’s brother caught up to him with his skateboard. “dad’s gonna kill you if you ask for another bike for your birthday.” he sighed looking at the loosened chain while picking up the single-track vehicle and the scattered clothes.

jaehyun transformed to a golden retriever puppy and struggled to come out of the bushes with his tiny paws and body. when he succeeded, he scratched the back of his ears to brush off the leaves stuck to them. “won’t happen, sungchan. i’ve already saved up enough by then. i’m not gonna burden dad for my wants.”

sungchan pressed the bridge of his nose. “you’re kinda being a burden now.” he picked the animal— his brother— up and put him inside his coat, as well as the belongings on the ground. he hopped on the bike and headed towards jaehyun’s campus.

“what did you say?” jaehyun barked tried opening the zipper from the inside of sungchan’s coat.

“nothing.” the younger excused. “but can i have your bike if you actually plan to get a new one?”

“ugh just bring me to the court. i’ll be late for my morning practice.”

the brothers were able to communicate telepathically as they’re related and were both cursed. instead of golden hour, sungchan transforms during the blue hour, which occured at twilight. tracing back to their ancestors, all were cursed for unknown inexplainable circumstances. they tried breaking it with all they could. every idea ended a failure. so they had to live through it, adjust, adapt and be alert.

they bumped into ten, kun and jungwoo, who were doing warm-ups and they simultaneously trailed their eyes and heads towards the jung brothers. seeing the huge pouch on sungchan’s stomach area, they all cracked up and checked the time. “oh yeah, it’s sunrise.” jungwoo spun the ball on his pointer finger.

ten grabbed the pup with one hand and jaehyun barked at him but he couldn’t understand a thing. although he was confused, he continued to carry him in his palm because jaehyun’s response was funny. “what is he trying to say?” he chuckled and poked the pup’s snout.

“he said ‘it hurts. put me down idiot’. i have to be honest with you hyung. holding us by the back of the neck really hurts.” unlike his brother, he was rather calm and collected despite already imagining the pain.

“you’re a blue holland lop bunny. it’s normal to carry you like this too right?” ten showed the pup to sungchan.

kun facepalmed at the question and took jaehyun. “no dimwit it’s not normal. sorry jae. you know he just likes teasing your puppy form.”

“‘wait until i turn back’- ugh seriously do i really have to translate hyung’s words every time?” sungchan gave jaehyun’s clothes and bike to jungwoo. “you know what to do when he transforms back yeah?”

they nodded and upon seeing the kid leave and headed towards his campus, jaehyun couldn’t wait to turn human. he would always beat ten up almost immediately— sometimes forgetting that he was naked. for the dudes it was alright. the problem was if he was with girls, though he hasn’t encountered anyone so far. he hoped he didn’t have to.

the harsh drills from basketball practice already sucked the energy out of jaehyun. not only that it was physically tiring, transforming into a dog twice a day before that have doubled the strain. then him transforming back would cause migraines and painful joints, as they were the aftermath of the curse. he had to keep his title of m.v.p and captain since the told them there was a possibility of him of having a scholarship for college. he couldn’t let a minor pain hinder that chance. not ever.

however, ten and the others could read his suffering. to them it was obvious through his exhales and slowing speed. hiding it was of no use. jungwoo ruffled his hair with a clean towel after shower. “can’t you just be like that dog in the movie ‘up’? have a collar that translates barks into actual language?”

jaehyun rolled his eyes and wore his black t-shirt. “it’s a damn movie, jungwoo. the world might’ve evolved and advanced in technology and even if they were to exist they’d be expensive. can’t afford that.”

“you sound negative, don’t you have any hope at all?” kun joined the conversation.

“never had any. stopping this curse is impossible. it’s been generations. my dad’s still suffering too. i have to find a way.” he fixed his black cap in front of a mirror.

but he knew there wasn’t. silence loomed above them as the team struggled to continue the topic. they tried not to bring it up yet each time they did, it always ended awkwardly and badly. it was either they riled jaehyun’s mood— mostly ten— or jaehyun himself was building his own raincloud by sulking about it and not looking at the bright side.

how ironic it was, he thought. generally speaking, even though being golden had good intentions and the breed was meant to bring happiness to others, he felt the total opposite. if he had to describe it, it was all insecurity, lowered his self-esteem and hopelessness only increased over the years as he grew.

thinking about it, he slammed the locker a little too hard that its components caused it to bounce back.. and also added to fuel of his anger. “break that again you’ll be in the coach’s office.” kun tied his shoelaces and the others agreed.

“my dad is the coach, what do you mean?” he questioned at the stupidity.

“you didn’t show up the last time it broke. we got the punished in your stead. uncle wasn’t happy.” ten got out of the showers last, a towel was wrapped around his waist before the younger ones were scarred for a second.

“it was sunset and i transformed! of all people dad’s supposed to understand! i-” jaehyun rubbed his face quite agressively and headed straight outside.

“oi i’m still changing! wait up!”

jaehyun kicked the bike’s stand attached to the rear wheel. he and his father didn’t have the best relationship compared with other kids, but he could say that it was better than the relationship he had with his mother. she loved her little family, yet over time the curse grew onto her. her husband would turn into a werewolf at full moon. and until now, even though that happened once month, she thought a part of him wasn’t the same person she loved before. even more so, when her sons were just the same as him.

your mom’s delusional! she doesn’t love us! she fears us!

that feeling stayed in the boys’ mind until they were old and mature enough to comprehend the situation they’re in. why couldn’t she love them like any mom would? she was no different from an animal mother abandoning her calf/pup just because they were or had defects.

mr. jung tried his best to be the perfect father, for only he understood what his two sons were going through, as they might go through decades with it, just like he was. jaehyun still remembered his first transformation, he only had puppy paws, but that was a sign to mr. jung that he indeed inherited the curse. when sungchan grew a tail at a fine age of one, their father gave up his 9-5 hour office job to tend the boys. and that was before he became jaehyun’s basketball coach. now he could monitor them at a close range.

much to jaehyun’s dismay and for that reason, he felt more caged and overprotected.

—

“y/n! coach’s looking for you!” your classmate called.

no.. you groaned. again?..

it was already after school hours. you slouched on your desk as you covered your ears, remembering the errands he asked you to do previously. you didn’t know why, but ever since you had detention because you refused to run a 1600m marathon for an assessment, seemed like the other punishment was that he passed his job to you. that was a month ago, and today was the tenth time.

but curious as you were to find answers, you brushed it off and tried not to show any remorse. it’s all for conduct, you kept telling yourself. the whistle echoed the entire hallway and jolting you up in your seat. “okay, okay! hold on!” you yelled from the back of the classroom.

as coach jung stood rather comfortably outside the room, he gestured you to walk faster with a dimpled smile. “y/n! took you approximately three minutes to walk here.” he laughed and handed you several files and a zipper folder.

“thanks for counting?..” you replied with a confused and questioning tone. “coach, what’s this?”

“all school sports teams will have an annual retreat before their playoff seasons. i need a representing manager since ours was admitted to a hospital just today.” he pointed at the list. you followed his finger and it landed on your name.

“sounds like to me it’s more practice. and you want me to go because?” you raised your brows. he asked you to follow him to the gymnasium, in which it was making you recall all those extra detention after school.

“to make up with all of the p.e assessments you ‘purposely’ missed.” he said proudly while looking at his team doing drills. but he didn’t get any response from you. when he looked on his side, you were gone and ran across the basketball gym. “y/f/n!”

you squealed as embarrassment crawled your entire body. not only were you escaping from coach, you were disrupting the team’s practice and hitting couple of duffel bags and water bottles. “ah! sorry! coming through!”

*whistles* “after her!” coach jung’s voice added an extra chill to your spine.

“ugh why us?” ten groaned with sore muscles as coach gestured to them widely.

“just go.” kun panted.

then you heard a several footsteps turn into drums until they sounded a stampede. you jumped on your toes as you passed the line of showers cubicles. good thing you haven’t seen a naked man, or else you’d faint without knowing. you turned around and went straight ahead then to your right, and hid in a random room. the echoing voices and squeaking friction between shoes and waxed floors were cut to a silence, like your ears were muffled instantly.

your wobbly legs were tired and you were sighing in exhaustion and crouched down against the door. great, i’ll stay out of their sight- “what are you doing here?” you heard a low voice and froze on the spot. “only members of the basketball team can access the meeting room.”

that sounded like the captain.

“did you hear what i just said?” he raised his brows. you slowly lifted your eyes from his shoes to his legs, then to his built and face. “well if you’re a nobody you might as well leave before coach arrives. you interrupted my recording-”

“i heard you jung jaehyun.” you tsked and realised you had the name list on your hand. “ah, as a matter of fact, i can be here because i am part of the team. my name’s on the list.” you grabbed a pen and ticked the empty box on the paper.

what are you saying, stupid?!

“uh-huh..” jaehyun trailed, putting down his camera.

“y-yeah!” you stuttered. “you heard me.”

the door shook by the loud knocks from the other side. on the frosted window, you could see four figures. orange and black jerseys, they must be the team members. “ah! the door’s locked! she’s definitely in here coach!” one said.

“i’ll toss you the keys!” he yelled. oh crap. you were caught in between. your heart patterned with the knocks.

“you look terrified after hearing coach, y/n.” the chair squeaked from the weight. “i’m guessing you’re that troublesome student he has a hard time dealing with recently?”

of course captain knows you. great reputation you have, y/n.

“so? what’s your point?” you stood up to see his amused grin.

“say hello to a term’s detention.” jaehyun waved as the door swung open, revealing ten, kun, jungwoo and.. the coach.

you sighed heavily and dropped the papers. the coach crossed his arms and you lowered your head a little. “you plan to escape again y/n? then i shouldn’t hear any excuses from you. you’ll join us for the twelve day retreat. period.” he picked the papers up and wrote something.

“sir i can’t be with a bunch of jocks for that long!” your whine had the captain blocking his ears. “i have debate finals to attend to.”

jaehyun flinched at the high pitched sound and rolled his eyes. what was your deal? it was rude of you to suddenly barge into athlete’s quarters but judging them for that was even more rude of you. he had to shut you up at some point.

“so much excuses.” he played with his nails and to you he looked more amused than ever. you rolled your eyes at his chuckle and know he would target you from now on. “dad, y/n told me she’s ‘part of the team’.” he played his video that recorded your voice, clearly saying what jaehyun heard.

coach jung looked rather surprised, but his smile definitely screamed happy. “oh? that’s all i needed to hear. welcome, uh- temporarily. i’ll inform mrs. park about the situation.”

nononono- “i did this.” you were at a loss for words. “i won’t be able to compete in the debate.”

“yeah pretty much you made the wrong decision.” jaehyun stood to tower over you. “i’d like to see you suffer our drills-”

four knocks cut jaehyun off. “oh no, she’ll only do those for two days.”

you swifted your head in confusion, seeing coach jung wrote down your schedule on the white board. you were packed and it’s a lot worse than the actual assessment planned in school. “and what about the rest of the ten days?!” you exasperated that your hairtie snapped at the right moment, and your hair fell in sightful way.

“ooh that was hot.” ten commented in soft whisper, causing kun and jungwoo nudge him on the each side.

“she’ll be our manager for the remaining days, keep track of our drills and score points, or other extra things i needed a hand with while taeyang’s in the hospital.”

jaehyun rested his palms on his waist, swirling his tongue inside with a provoking gaze at you. “see if you can keep up, manager.” he chuckled.

you checked the time, it was nearing 5 p.m. “you know what, give me a day to process all this sport thing. it’s close to evening and i have to get going-”

“it’s evening already?” jaehyun cut you off as he looked outside the window.

the sun glistening at the distance while the sky showed a pretty ombré of warm colours. his senses doubled again and his whole body ached. he had to make you leave. it was already enough that his friends knew about his situation. there’d only be more trouble if you knew too.

“uh duh? the clock’s right there.” you pointed.

“hm, anyway you have to leave now.”

“sheesh i was going to anyway.” you rolled your eyes, but felt jaehyun’s palms behind your back. “hey stop pushing!”

“you’re too slow!” his tone changed. different than the usual because panic was what you felt from his palms. “quickly!”

the rest of the boys could tell you were pissed. they couldn’t understand why jaehyun had to make a fuss out of it when all he had to do was to kindly ask you. using force would only cause misunderstandings, like what’s happening now. “hey what’s your deal?!” you flicked his arms. “do you like to push people around? just because i’ll be with the team for the next two weeks, that doesn’t mean you could treat me like this already!”

“tsk so noisy! you’re wasting time! just leave would you?!” jaehyun turned you around towards the door.

this time you wouldn’t budge. “no jung jaehyun i need an explanation with this stupid attitude of yours!” you wriggled off of his hold, pushing him back with pats several times more that he stepped backwards.

“i don’t owe you an explanation!”

“you definitely do?!”

“why can’t you listen to what i say?”

“why can’t you stop being pushy, pushy?”

“you’re the one pushing me! time’s ticking y/n!”

the continuous back and forth of bickers and the war of pushing each other was an idiotic sight. your wrist was in jaehyun’s palms as he gripped you tighter. “i don’t care captain jerk! it wouldn’t bother you or hurt you to just give me one reason- and he slammed the door at my face! argh!”

jaehyun smirked wide and proudly knowing that he ‘won’ argument. silencing you was better than letting you see his other form. the boys stared him once he turned around to face them. “what?” he questioned,

“definitely not the right way to treat a girl.” they all said simultaneously.

“you know how bad it makes me feel when you all said it at the same time?” jaehyun pressed the bridge of his nose.

he knew well enough that this wasn’t his usual self. he’s good friends with you despite being in different teams of the school. you both took literature as your electives. sometimes you’d let him copy your notes when he had matches or leave small appetisers and juice cartons when he was tired and vice versa.

but no matter how close you both were, he couldn’t afford to let you see his other self.

not just yet.

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waking up so early in the day to assist the team was way more annoying than birds chirping by your bedroom’s window. instead of hearing their tuneful tweets, you had to endure endless phone calls every minute. you couldn’t remember much from that day because you passed out. and the team didn’t look for you until yesterday.

coach jung waved to catch your attention, only to be greeted with your huge yawn and a disinterested face.

“ah there she is! c’mon now, i got the green light from mrs. park. she agreed that p.e is the only subject you’re likely to fail this semester, so she’s giving you a cool-off from the team and focus on here.”

“yep. heard you coach.” you tied up your hair, only listening to half of what he said. “where’s the captain?”

kun did few stretches & jumps, his expression mirrored the other two boys who were also doing the same. you had a feeling about this— their telepathic gaze and awkward silence. you took a basketball to pass it to ten. “is he still mad about me calling him a jerk? that was a few days ago and i didn’t expect him to be that sensitive.”

they laughed because they couldn’t deny his obvious trait. “he doesn’t show it but somehow you know he is.” ten passed the ball back to you. “but not this morning y/n. he’s late for.. another reason.”

you hopped to catch it yet you were a second late, and groaned as you had to run far to retrieve it. “uh-huh. nature calls in the morning, again?” you yelled.

“do you think she knows about jaehyun?” jungwoo asked the older ones. they eyed you rummaging in the bushes for the ball, later looking back at each other for answers, but no one knew how your mind worked. “it’s been five days and no word from her at all.”

“if she actually does, i guess she just doesn’t want to be involved? i think we can trust her for that.” kun drank from his bottle.

ten didn’t look convinced. “involved or not, we have to make sure she doesn’t tell anyone about jaehyun’s curse. keep an eye on her-”

“ah!” they heard your squeals and ruffles from the bushes. “guys look what i found!”

kun sighed when they saw you running back with a golden retriever puppy in your arms, taking back his words said earlier.

“uh-oh. that scream means she has no clue at all.” jungwoo brushed his hair up.

“this puppy is so cute! i wonder what it’s doing here? are you lost?” you hugged and sniffed into its fur and gosh it smelled like vanilla shampoo. there was a metal collar around its neck, the piece spelled “jj”. “aww it has a name!”

no matter how happy you looked from the boys, they couldn’t help but take a photo of you and ‘puppy’ jaehyun. they had to tell you before it was too late. the golden hour in the morning was shorter than sunset, so either they would tell you straight up, or let jaehyun transform back to human.

but guess what? they were too late. they shouldn’t have second-guessed.

what had happened was way beyond your comprehension. it was in an instant. all it felt in totality was that, you weren’t carrying a puppy anymore. you lost balance and the weight in your arms doubled or tripled, you couldn’t tell. but you knew you were falling backwards. was there to brace for impact? none.

you blinked several times from the orange sunrise blinding your vision from the window. slowly you got up to sit and soothe the pain. that hurt..

here’s the thing. remember you mentally told yourself you hoped you didn’t run into any naked boy in the basketball team’s showers? there you have it. you jinxed it. jaehyun’s figure was on top of yours and you knew he had no clothes on. oh goodness.

“hyung? you forgot your lunch box- oh.” sungchan barged in the scene and everyone could tell he sort of malfunctioned. he froze then facepalmed.

you took turns into looking at the embarrassed jaehyun and at the boys who whistled to avoid the numbers of questions you were going to ask.

kun quickly shielded your eyes where your doubts were showing in your face. and no matter how much thought hard, you just couldn’t believe it. with fear written all over you, you dusted your pants and hands reached kun’s arm to support your weight.

“oh so you shielded her eyes but not my body?!” jaehyun’s voice entered your ears and you swore there was a hint of puppy whimper.

“this is a dream.. right?..” you asked before you fainted.

sungchan managed to save you from the fall. “whoa! ah, i had a feeling something like this would happen.”

—

“was she always like that?” minnie took a peep of your classroom, her eyes showed confusion. “is she tired?”

lisa shrugged and in her innocence she pursed her lips. “i don’t know. she’s been sighing a lot for the past hour? i wanna ask her but it might be too personal.”

you could her them and they were wrong. it was nothing personal at all. you’ve been sighing because you didn’t know how it was possible but it just happened— right before your eyes. since then you hoped that science could explain but not even the smartest people could give you a conclusion. you’ve been called out from lessons that came in the day and not that you didn’t blame jaehyun.

because for one thing, he at least told you the truth and the answer to your question as to why he had to make you leave that day. you propped your chin on your palms from jaehyun’s warning: “tell anyone i swear i’ll make you run a hundred laps with no water breaks.”

but the other thing? he was naked. and that’s not something you could erase in your memories overnight.

you let out a small whine that led to minnie and lisa copying your position, obviously making fun of you. “seriously, not a good time.” you laid on the table and hid from them. “don’t ask me anything.”

minnie and lisa looked at each other as you were being unreasonable and already gotten them curious with your remark. they both grabbed each of your arm, tugging on your sleeves where they begged nonstop for you tell them what had happened. they knew it was about the basketball team.

since you started to train and be with them, you’ve never complained. because if you did, coach jung would add another exercise for you, in which you knew you couldn’t handle. broken bones and sore muscles awaited for you. so you chose not to utter a single sigh, but you were careless just now and there was no escaping from these best friends of yours.

“c’mon y/n! tell us the deets! you sighing could only mean one thing.. did someone confess to you?” minnie closed her eyes and a wide smile suddenly became shrieks of laughter when you facepalmed. “oh who in the basketball team confessed?” she singsonged.

it’s not really a confession, jaehyun being a golden puppy is a secret that was never meant to be revealed but i happened to see him transform-

“what if it’s not a guy? maybe two? or three? oh gosh this is like a reverse harem anime-” lisa began to hype an awful assumption but you covered her lips. and plus? her voice was loud and how embarrassing it would be when the rest of the class heard it.

you were already restless at their energy. “none you idiots. i was sighing because i didn’t know that people with dimples would be that attractive.” you tried to divert the topic.

“pfft you’re talking about jung jaehyun?” lisa raised her brows and grinned teasingly to get a reaction from you.

“no, i’m taking about coach jung.” you hit her arm.

“but jaehyun’s his carbon copy, so you’re basically saying he’s handsome too.” minnie quickly rebutted.

“i mean, coach’s the original face so he’s definitely more handsome-” you paused. shoot they nearly got you to a corner. “wait- why are we talking about this? i thought we’re talking about me.”

“ah you were paying attention to our conversation?” minnie’s eyes grew.

“you’re not telling us anything dimwit.” lisa hit you back.

couple of squeals echoed the corridor and your classroom door crowded with people. apparently jaehyun stood by the door frame and scanned the room looking for you. when he spotted you, his face bubbled up and literally glided his way to your seat. you could tell he was slightly fuming, but you didn’t know what reason. “y/f/n! come here for a second!” he grabbed your wrists and pulled you up from your chair.

you tried to catch up with his pace as he continued to pull you. “let me go!”

jaehyun did in fact let go of you, but he instead led you to hit your back against numerous lockers. the squeals didn’t stop there and how that you were the centre of attention amongst all of the students, you had endure this for a little while. he was staring into your soul, eyes piercing that could strain yours, you knew he was pissed about something.

he slammed his forearms at the space right above your head, then the screams of giddy began to grow louder. you managed to see your friends at the far end of the corridor. they were smiling and lisa mouthed ‘kabedon’, making you flustered than you already were. “what do you want?” you asked.

“i thought i made myself clear?” jaehyun smirked as he felt you quiver against his skin. he leaned lower that his whispers tickled your ear. “did you tell anyone? your friends?”

“i’m not gonna risk my health for some dumb secret.” you rolled your eyes and crossed arms.

“please it’s not like our training puts your life on jeopardy-” jaehyun butted back.

“it’s safe with me. if there’s anything you’re worried about, just look at your fanbase. you’re making them sad.” you sighed, walking away and through the girls who has been following jaehyun around.

jaehyun exhaled at a rather slow pace. he liked your reaction and was aware of their presence. and in order to shoo them away, he had to do what he did. he just hoped you’d notice that too. “see you after school!” he yelled.

you briefly stopped in your tracks at his greet, you continued walking and pulled your girls away from the scene. you didn’t pay any attention, but you knew they couldn’t contain their smiles appearing on their faces.

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the bags full of foldable cones fell to the floor. the rest of the team turned to your direction, who already made mistakes on the first day of camp. they knew that you were obviously flabbergasted with your encounter. it was funny that you managed to stride your way so quickly towards jungwoo— he was very much entertained with your expression. “i know right? that was me earlier.” he stroked the large pup.

“h-how did puppy grow so big? that’s an adult sized dog! you stuttered but hiding your love for golden retrievers just wasn’t possible. there were times you forgot that this was actually jaehyun. “it’s only been a week.”

“yeah i’d like to know the reason too.”

suddenly you heard jaehyun’s voice. it felt like he was close to your ears again, but he wasn’t anywhere near you.

remains of memories probably were still in you head. you wouldn’t say you were traumatised, just surprised. why the hell am i hearing his voice? you shook the thought off at first but then again-

oi y/n. beside you. i’m talking to you!

what?

you gasped and fell on your butt. the pup’s ears were on alert and you knew he was hearing you too. “you can hear me?” jaehyun’s dog form practically towered on your fallen self. you avoided his look although the pup was so cute. his paws poked your shoulders, whiskers twitching as he waited for your response. “don’t look away! you can hear me right??”

all the guys could see was jaehyun staring down at you. and while you did the same, your knitted brows only meant something was definitely going on. they wanted to know. “what’s wrong y/n?”

your lips shook in heavens knows it was fear. “you’re asking me what’s wrong? why can i hear jaehyun? can you hear jaehyun? oh my g- this is really really weird-”

“you can?” they scooted closer to you, very much intrigued with your gift.

“and you all can’t?” you pushed jaehyun away for his body was weighing you down. he whimpered and got up to sit in front of the boys too.

they shook their heads vigorously. “only sungchan and coach were able to hear him.” kun stated, typing on his cellphone to inform his family.

“y/n! let’s talk when i transform back!” jaehyun’s paws kept poking you again. you glared at him with a loud hiss. his ears were alert, he didn’t realise that he was clawing you already, and turned a few rounds before he was laying like a bagel-shaped position.

jaehyun thought it was pretty strange. never in his life were there any people who could actually converse with him telepathically. other than his family, you were the first and he was determined to find out why this impossibility was made possible. there was a spark of hope forming in his heart at this sudden revelation. the glow from the orange light then shone above your head, marking the end of sunrise.

you looked at jaehyun’s dog form, it was- correction, he was.. quiet, and was still staring at you as if you were his master. he laid on this front legs, snout on the ground. huh, he can actually be behaved. footsteps were closing in. at the distance, coach jung walked with lisa and minnie, who were in their cheerleading uniforms. right, you forgot that they were also included in the annual athletes camp.

for a moment you panicked because you knew jaehyun would transform back from being a dog. ten and rest knew more people shouldn’t know about jaehyun’s curse. they were glad you read the atmosphere too. seeing jaehyun’s jersey in his duffel bag, you grabbed it and wore it on the animal.

coach jung made eye contact to your direction. he diverted the girls’ attention, and led them away from the basketball court. they headed towards the storage to “retrieve” some equipment.

jaehyun grunted and growled, his fangs tried to bite your skin. however, goldens were known for having a soft jaw, so his bites weren’t that painful. when you finally managed to put the jersey on him, jungwoo couldn’t catch up. “why let him wear the jersey?” he questioned.

“so he wouldn’t transform back naked when lisa and minnie arrives.” you pointed out the obvious.

ten held his laugh in. you recognised this tone, and prepared what came after. “heh..” he trailed off. “is it because you want to keep jaehyun to yourself?”

you continuously threw random items at him as heat spread to your cheeks. “screw you!” you scoffed. “get jaehyun to wear his pants. i have to pack a lot of things before we head onto the bus.”

“yes ma’am.” ten nudged your shoulder. “i’m kidding y/n. don’t take my jokes seriously.“

“it’s fine.” you picked up the fallen cones. “you’re worried about people knowing his curse. so i’m just doing my part to keep it secret.”

he pursed his lips and his heart softened at your willingness to help. “hm, i guess i can trust you after all.” ten opened the bag to help you pack. “oh! and also, jae in his dog form already is naked anyway.”

“you think i’m not aware of that?” you rolled your eyes.

your friends already have settled themselves inside the coach bus and you were seated in between them. now they would get to witness you with the team and hoped for a budding romance with any of the boys. you lowered your face under a cap to pretend you were sleeping, but in reality you just wanted to avoid lisa and minnie’s bombardment.

few rows at front, jaehyun stared by the window, deep in thought. rarely spoke a word since they started their journey to the retreat campsite. why was his hunch telling him to get closer to you? why could you hear him and he could hear you? he slightly turned to his side between the gaps of two seats. seeing you giggling with your friends had him rethinking if what happened earlier was just his imagination. he wondered why you purposely ignore him after he transformed back.

he slid lower from his seat. “i’d understand if this was a soulmate thing, but it’s not.” jaehyun sighed heavily where he broke the silence and supposedly ending the conversation earlier. now that he wanted to talk about it, his friends were still up for the news.

“oh yeah. those things are going on. except it only happens to some people.” kun popped a chip in his mouth.

“i just don’t get it. dad told me that never occurred to anyone with this curse.” he stole the bag of chips from the younger one to relieve his emotions.

jungwoo’s pursed his lip in wonder. “maybe the curse in another light has its own blessing? maybe you guys are soulmates?”

“nah, impossible.” they all said simultaneously.

“it’s a possibility-” jungwoo’s face soured where wrinkles appeared on the sides as the boys flared at him.

jaehyun shrugged not knowing what to say. his friends have bizarre ideas throughout the journey, and he wouldn’t say they were wrong either. all he could do was to wait until the next transformation. maybe you would say your thoughts about it through telepathy.

he would know if time passed quickly when he didn’t pay attention to anyone. one of them was the number of times you waved in front of his face to snap him back to earth. “jaehyun?” you laid on the ground and called out, panting to catch air after your successful reps. you tugged the ends of his track pants.

“hm?” he hummed, looking for your voice until he got annoyed with your repetitive pulls of his clothes. “ah stop that. i have to report your record to coach. come with?”

“do i really have to?” you whined. “i could barely stand, my legs are wobbly and i’m hungry.”

jaehyun rolled his eyes and took your hand, pulling you up on your toes. “then let’s grab something to eat on our way to the camp, hm?”

you gulped at the sudden gesture, even more so when you noticed your heart beating faster around him. somehow your sixth sense told you your friends were somewhere in the woods looking at you, and you were right.

minnie had her binoculars by her eyes as you and jaehyun headed in another direction back to everyone else were. she held in her excitement with a huge inhale. out of curiosity lisa stole the binoculars from her. a growing smile showed her pearly whites when within its frame, jaehyun was pushing you from the back before he took your hand again because of how slow you were. “min, consider your reverse harem dream for y/n over. we found her leading man.”

—

“few more reps y/n! do it properly this time?”

jaehyun rubbed his face, raising his tone in question of your athleticism. it was the second and final day of your assessments. your core should be able to get used to the pressure if you’ve done the reps for two straight days. so as of today you salute to all people who persevered and with great stamina. you just.. weren’t that person.

you’ve grown conscious now that jaehyun’s friends were watching a few metres away. you’d prefer kun counting and timing your exercises over him. in contrast, kun’s a little more understanding than the hotheaded jaehyun. “if i say i can’t, shouldn’t you consider stopping here? it’s the last one anyway so put random number on the blank or something.” you struggled to lift yourself up from the ground, arms in an ‘x’ position over your torso.

“is that so? then you wouldn’t mind if i write ‘0’ for the final count?” jaehyun checked the stopwatch while his knees put enough weight on your feet. “at least do five more?” he sat on the soles of his shoes.

“ugh! fine!” you tsked and did sit ups slowly, eyes shut closed.

jaehyun smirked with how determined you were in finishing. and he has gotta credit you for having the last brain cell to endure his overly playful bossiness and plans up his sleeves.

but even his friends has something up in their sleeves. they whispered to each other and nodded heads as excitement already boosted their anticipation. ten cupped his mouth then giving the raised brows as signal to start. “y/n! jaehyun’s recording your expression with his phone!” ten yelled.

jungwoo’s mouth widened and followed along. “jae! there’s a bee behind you!”

“what?!”

“where?!”

the moment you froze and opened your eyes after bringing yourself up, and jaehyun leaned forwards to avoid the insect, was way too hilarious for the guys to see. both of your faces were centimetres away from each other and jaehyun’s ears already tinted pink. jaehyun already found it awkward to help you for three days, but he never prepared himself for something like this.

as his friends bursting out laughing, that was when he realised it was all their plan. you were still too close to him, so he cleared his throat to cut the gap between. “is that a pimple on your nose?” he asked, only for his nose to be smacked and soon be numbed. “agh!”

what the- “jerk! don’t point it out!” you kicked him and rolled sideways to stand up, angrily leaving the area with the sheet in your hands. “i’ll give this to the coach!”

jaehyun held his nose and walked back to the guys, who were still laughing their butts off and rolling on the ground. “you can stop now.”

“oh that was funny! it was like a typical ‘ba-dump’ scene in a rom-com!” jungwoo wiped a tear.

“should’ve recorded it!” kun threw his head back while his hand rested on his heaving chest.

“no worries! at least it’s recorded in jaehyun’s mind!” ten cheered with closed fists.

“it’s embarrassing!” jaehyun threw his towel.

bonfires were mandatory at the start and end of the camp. however, because of your assessment, coach jung had negotiate with the other members of the basketball to get to the campsite a day before the other teams actually arrived at night. so for the kun and the rest, they had a little more free time than jaehyun. and him being the coach’s son.. he didn’t have the same benefits. he was stuck with you because he had to keep an eye on you while

he thought being with you would only be for the first two days, then he would go for his training. and yet here you were, sitting beside him in front of the bonfire while everyone else arrived and other danced to their hearts’ content. maybe he could ask you about the telepathy thing? but figuring you were cranky from earlier, he held back.

“can i ask more about your curse? if it’s okay with you to tell me.”

jaehyun nodded, you had the right to. not because you accidentally picked a random puppy then saw him naked few moments later. you could hear him in your head, and that was enough reason to tell you rather than a general information about it. “yeah. i’m okay with it.”

“you said your ancestors had the curse too. was there any specific reason why they had to suffer that your family and you had to be the..” you paused for a while. jaehyun was waiting for your next words, you guessed it was alright to say it. “..collateral damage?”

“right. i didn’t tell you more of it yeah?” he sniffed from the chilly night. “i don’t know how far back in the years it happened. but they said the head of the family casted out his wife because he assumed he cheated on him. he was the only person the wife ever treasured, so when she was accused, she took his pet and killed it. the head found out, he cursed her that her descendants turn into animals. and we’re the descendants of that woman.”

“that’s awful.” you cleared your throat. “i’m sorry you have to suffer the curse.”

“you don’t have to be. i’m just trying to cope with it.” jaehyun chuckled. “how awesome would it be if there was a way to reverse everything.”

“gotta find the blessing then.” you laid on the grass.

jaehyun’s face wrinkled in disgust. “okay you sound like jungwoo.”

“at least appreciate me for trying to lift your spirits up.”

he hummed in agreement.

“or you can just.. let the blessing find you.” you singsonged as you realised how corny you actually sounded.

“fine, and if it’s you?” he had to give a hint of the telepathic communication.

“because i can hear you when you’re in your retriever form? i’m not exactly a blessing but yeah i’d like to know how telapthy works too.” you stared back at the bonfire, flames flickering as the smoke flew in the air. as of tonight, you wanted to be that person who’d be the igniter of that hope he held on. “if i could help out a little, i’ll be happy to help.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

lisa and minnie stared at you, both had their palms under their chins as if their silence asked you to talk. “i can’t eat when the two of you are like this. it’s very disturbing.” you gripped on your fork, hesitant to eat as you took glances between the food and them.

you knew what they were going to ask. not like you didn’t want to share, it was just that you knew them well enough that they wouldn’t stop once they start. the food was getting cold every second passed, due to the wind outdoors, it was more vulnerable. lisa stretched her elbows while holding her poms to be noticed. five days have gone by and even though you were rarely with them in all those days, she had to ensure you’d tell them about the basketball team and your leading man— although you had no idea about that.

“any updates?” she raised her brows.

“nothing is happening with me or anyone in the team, if that��s what you both wanted to know.” you sighed. “i’m just simply taking down minutes.” you said sternly, kind of regret that you answered her and swirled the noodles with your fork.

“are you sure? twelve members should be enough for that.” minnie tied her shoelaces and bent down with a pressed smile when you pout. she softened her gaze when you were telling the truth and that their teasing should stop there. but they knew that the team should know something about you.

“they’re divided into teams. some did the score board while others practiced on their own. of course i have to be the one- why are you pulling my arm?” you asked and eyed them as if they stained your clothes.

lisa twirled on her toes and posed with her arm rested on her waist. “you’re being quiet again.”

“i’m not?” you said monotonously while you munched on your food.

she sighed and grabbed your chin. “you don’t look at me when you’re lying.” she hummed, yet you didn’t respond. “what’s up y/n? something’s on your mind i can tell.”

in fact a lot of things were.

so far in the week, you’ve helped jaehyun theorise solutions to end his curse after practice. not only for him, but his family and extended family too. some have passed not having to enjoy their lives, while others chose to hide themselves from the world. and a small percentage of the family tree actually tried to live through it— that was jaehyun’s family. coach jung was as determined as jaehyun to put a stop into this curse.

not only that thought alone. to you, jaehyun has been rather noticeable. even if you weren’t thinking of him, he’d appear out of nowhere— during your breaks, on your night-walks alone or even heading to the toilet. you’d always bump into him and his presence seemed to be marked in your consciousness now. not that you liked him around, it was just captain was more friendly than others made him out to be. “really, it’s nothing.”

to say that jaehyun didn’t feel same was definitely an understatement. since the start of the freshman year, he knew you were the loud girl with the two hot cheerleaders, but always wondered why you’ve never joined the team. sometimes he would catch you sitting at one corner, dancing along with the routines aside from cheering your friends on as he was heading to practice.

now he took a peek of you eating alone while lisa and minnie showed off their new uniforms. he was about to call you out to help the team, but the girls pulling you almost immediately once you were done had him holding back. “chaeyeon will be arriving soon, and remember the dare was to wear our uniform.” minnie giggled while you begged her to stop, to the point you nearly cried thinking about it. “you agreed to it-”

“i didn’t agree to it! you agreed for me! i had no say!”

jaehyun’s eyes widened at the thought of you in uniform. your yells were getting louder and pitchier. should he be your knight and shining armour? probably not. he’d like to have something to tease you about. for a moment there was silence, he hid behind the corner of a storage building. you were still telling your friends to stop doing what they were doing. but it was two against one, and he knew you were at the losing end.

the door slammed open, your huffs and puffs getting heavier and closer to where he was. jaehyun’s heart beat so fast that when he finally decided to call out your name, you bumped into him and he caught you to prevent you from falling. “i was about to fetch you, manager.”

you felt heat spread your entire cheek because of the attire you were forced to wear. “well you did and i’m here. can we go? my friends are giving me the stares.”

“fiesty, but i think you look alright.” he chuckled when you grumpily walked ahead. jaehyun followed you from behind with his hands in pockets.

what does he mean by that?

lisa and minnie pursed their lips, soon bursting into giddy squeals and continuously fanning each other from what they saw yet the second time. “he was really checking her out.” minnie laughed.

“his ears said it all.” lisa checked her watch on her wrist. “basketball team’s practice match is starting soon. wanna sit in?”

“girl you bet i will.”

even hours later you blew your baby fringes blocking your view. as you flipped the score board and whistles for a time-out echoed the outdoor gym, your friends could tell how uncomfortable you were but they’d do nothing to get more reactions from you. they liked that you entertained them. and what choice did you have? chaeyeon was already taking pictures of you in the uniform you despised wearing.

coach jung briefed the team information on their opponents this season. you wrote down important points, feeling the chill of the early sunset. you couldn’t wait to change into actual soft and comfy clothes, mosquitoes weren’t your friends.

jaehyun listened to his dad repeating the same points- mostly because he got the advice first before others. he heard you hiss several times, you were supposed to jot the notes down. then it got frequent. he tiptoed to see you opposite from him, shooing the bugs away. of course you were still wearing the cheer uniform. he didn’t want to draw attention, so he stealthy walked behind the guys and straight to you.

“trouble?” he asked.

“just a little chilly, that’s all. meeting’s nearly done yeah?” you hugged the file to your chest.

“say so if you’re cold.” he took his jacket off and draped it on your shoulder.

“and who am i to tell to?” your voice challenging him.

he hummed so low that it almost lulled you to sleep. “me. i’m not the captain for nothing.”

you were both busy talking that you and him weren’t aware of time nor anyone else close by. mind you that minnie and lisa were watching the whole thing. you managed to smile even if you were crossed with how you were dressed. like you enjoyed his company.

they couldn’t hear your conversation, nor were your lips were moving. but the body language they saw already proved and confirmed their assumption. they had to tell you. they went straight to you once the meeting was over, and pulled you aside whilst jaehyun was talking about his childhood.

jaehyun raised a brow and chuckled as you were being pulled away. his friends immediately surround him, bombarding him with questions that he wasn’t paying attention to the meeting. “dude, your time’s near.” ten smacked him on the back.

“don’t make it sound like i’m dying, ten.” jaehyun rolled his eyes, but whenever he did, they were always fixated on you. he couldn’t shake off the feeling you were that something to solve the curse.

“be alert than be busted.” ten shrugged, head tilting to where you were. your friends were busy recording you and giggles filled the air. “how are you so calm now jae?”

jaehyun pursed his lips. “with her, there’s no way i’m calm at all.”

“okay now i can’t tell if that answer was from human jaehyun or doggy jaehyun.” jungwoo pointed out.

his friends all looked at each other, jaehyun wasn’t his usual self. it was as if he was dazed but was able to converse with them properly. slowly his naturally peach-like fuzzy cheeks grew more fur, his tail started to reveal. although they were quick enough to hide jaehyun, they didn’t realise the commotion that came afterwards and drew everyone’s attention.

you swifted your head at the boys’ yells and gathering circle, faintly hearing jaehyun’s refusal into whatever they got him into. “stop it! hey!” he hissed.

jungwoo, a little too excited of the drama going on, spotted you looking at them and gestured you to come over too. your friends built up a curiosity and went ahead of you. as for you, you were mentally tired to think of anything.

not until you heard kun’s wavering yet convincing words. “uh.. y’all wanna see magic?” he chuckled nervously as he knew what jaehyun would do to him after all this was over. “quickly because it’ll happen soon!”

you held in a laugh at jaehyun when he was forced to sit down on the grass to hide his tail. “i’ve been trying to master this for months and i thank jaehyun as my participant. who loves animals? give me a name.”

most hands were up and the answers were said at the same time. some didn’t believe him, but others have seen kun’s little magic tricks over the days. so something of a huge scale like this already got them curious than ever.

“ah i hear great ones but i’ll choose dog. now i’ll turn jaehyun into a golden retriever.” he draped a blanket above his friend.

ten and jungwoo bit their lips to contain themselves, holding onto each other as they filmed this once-in-a-lifetime event. the circle enlarged in scale with the poor lad at the center and the golden hour shone over everyone.

“in 3.. 2.. 1..” kun only snapped his fingers then the blanket shrunk in size. your schoolmates were convinced that something was actually happening.

and it was amusing because you were able to hear jaehyun swearing so much in your head.

you let out a giggle. jaehyun was soon surrounded by everyone who wanted to pet him. even your friends went over to the animal. “at least pretend to be happy for them. goldens are known for being clowns.” you told him.

*sighs* “tell kun i’m gonna kill him.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

the silence was all jaehyun ever wanted after the shock he had to go through from kun’s improv few days ago. he’d be thankful for a moment because he actually forgot the gideon hour at the time, but he would soon later be clouded with annoyance that he should’ve been informed beforehand of his actions— not only kun, the others included. they’ve got a part in this too.

his friends seated side by side with bruises and bandages on their faces, jaehyun still giving them the silent treatment. he was cranky about that, yet even more so when there was no progress into finding a solution to his curse. “jae. we said we’re sorry.” jungwoo apologised and felt that he was the only one giving effort to talk to jaehyun compared to kun and ten.

“and i said it’s fine. so stop saying that before i actually don’t forgive you.” jaehyun pressed the bridge of his nose.

after walking up the slope to the cabin with heaves of breaths, you managed to hear their conversation before opening the door. “i refilled your bottles.” you threw them on a duffle bag, not caring whether either of them rolled away. “i have to apologise too, jaehyun. i haven’t come up with anything to help you.” true enough because you couldn’t think straight or have the energy to use your remaining brain cells for that matter.

“ugh it’s fine. i’m not in a rush or anything. not even assigning you to solve within the duration of the camp.” jaehyun squeezed the bottle as thirst continued to drive him crazy, the heat as well, so he removed his tshirt. you averted your gaze and looked elsewhere. maybe you were still a little bothered seeing him half naked after the incident?

ten sought the opportunity and decided to fan the flame even more. “why look away when you’ve seen him already?”

he managed to dodge your hits and you turned around embarrassed. jaehyun could see you fanning yourself from the heat. “it was an accident!” you cleared your throat.

“gah i’m tired. we’re done with practice. we get a day off tomorrow, so can’t we watch a movie? who has disney plus?” jungwoo wiped himself with a towel.

“i do.” kun brought out his ipad. “what do you wanna watch?”

“i haven’t watched that one.”

“beauty and the beast?”

“o-kay, i’ll be going now.” you yawned as you began to feel the exhaustion take over your body. “see you tomorrow.”

the door closed and suddenly you remembered a funny memory last halloween when taeil dressed himself as belle. he blended in with the other ladies that you didn’t realise it was him. either it was the wig’s work or just taeil in general. you found it funny when a bunch of young teens become children again as disney’s mentioned.

your phone vibrated with your friends asking to help them out with their practice. “i came to the camp for the basketball team, not you two.” you left a voice mail. all you wanted was to rest up today. not until a certain realisation hit you hard.

because what if?

it hasn’t been that long since you left the cabin when the boys jolted from their positions. their peace and concentration on the movie already ruined by you. “oh my goodness i think i got it?” you slammed the door.

jaehyun sat up and set his phone aside. “you’re saying it a question rather than a discovery. not convinced.”

“will you be when i tell you if it’s based on that movie?” you pointed at the tablet.

he trailed his eyes to the screen then back at you, a more confused expression on his face. “you expect me to find someone to love me so my curse will be lifted?”

“pfft nah kidding, you don’t seem that loveable anyway.” you stole a lollipop from ten. “okay bye for reals.”

as the door closed, ten unwrapped another lollipop. “bet you he’s thinking of his potential ‘belle’.” ten nudged the boys.

“shut up. i’m not going to base my life on a fictional movie.”

“but it could be y/n. i mean she can hear you.” jungwoo paused the film.

“it’s not going to be her and it doesn’t prove anything.”

jaehyun thought a lot for two things— you keeping his hopes up, the other was you setting his heart in a frenzy and he always hated that feeling. he groaned and dragged himself to bed to place a towel over his face. sure he’ll hold on to that idea you came up with for now. however it didn’t prove on telepathy.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

your heart missed a beat when jaehyun waited for you in front of the cabin you stayed at. he thought you bumping into his torso wasn’t a good way to greet in the morning, whereas you feeling some fur on his tshirt as greeting was any different. jaehyun handed you a file and a little note from coach.

while you read it, you could sense jaehyun was staring, like he had something to say. he retracted his lips when your friends appeared behind you with grins annoyingly appearing on their faces. “make it quick captain. we have things to discuss with y/n.”

“yeah sure. i just dropped by to pass this to you. coach said to make copies. i’ll come back after you’re done with breakfast.” he cleared his throat and announced his leave.

“hm. fishy. he could’ve just left it here outside but he seems like he waited for you.” lisa drank from her cup as you all sat and ate breakfast together.

“right? it’s been days he acted that way!” minnie walked back to the table. “he’s indeed a gentleman, but there are times he’s very hard to approach.”

you unwrapped the sandwich and took a bite. “anyway, what is it you guys wanna talk about?”

“lisa will go first. she couldn’t wait.” minnie giggled.

lisa laid out series of pictures of nature she recently took and were indeed beautiful. “oh my goodness they look amazing!” you sat up. “as expected from someone in the photography club. i bet if you submit these to johnny he’ll regret putting you as backup-”

“really?! i took advantage of the retreat and i made sure they were pretty!” lisa interrupted you and placed more pictures down. “these are my favourite! i’m thinking of sending these to johnny instead!”

however your face turned sullen at the next pictures. they were blurry and almost gone, but it was definitely jaehyun at the background, each one showed he was transforming from human to dog. you paused and your heart did the same.

the silence got longer, you knew you had to speak up, but no words came out. “what’s wrong y/n?”

“you can’t submit these to johnny.” you brushed the first batch of pictures aside and bind latest pictures together.

“why not? you supported the rest of them! how could these be not good enough?” lisa’s voice changed in an instant, like you’ve taken away her pride. she sat back with folded arms, her behaviour scared you a little.

minnie slightly wiggled your hand. “hey, are you hearing to yourself y/n?”

“sorry, i know i sound stupid-”

“you are!” lisa huffed where her cheeks blew up. it was cute though.

“but you have to hear me out.” one thing was for sure, your stress levels shot up high if word gets to jaehyun. you had to prepare for the consequences.

“okay, so why can’t i submit them?” lisa sighed.

you held her hand. “it would be alright to, only if these are not in the background.” you said, pointing out a figure at the background of the subject. it all became clear as day to them when they looked closely. “did jaehyun just.. transformed?”

you were surprised with how quick they were able to catch on. as much as you wanted to protect jaehyun’s family curse, things would’ve turn for worst if someone else had noticed it. i’m sorry jaehyun, this is for your own good.

“we believed kun’s ability of illusion and his magic tricks. ten sent us a video of it and it didn’t really occurred to us that the golden was actually jaehyun.” minnie pursed her lips. “if you think about it, he does look like a golden.”

“how is this possible?” lisa asked with a growing smile, but refrained since transforming twice everyday was nothing good anyway.

“i found about his family curse accidentally. he turns into a dog when it’s golden hour, like sunrise and sunset.” you propped on your elbows.

“it’s a curse? poor lad.” minnie gasped.

a rather sad nod caught them off guard. “the coach signed me up to join this retreat. it’s not only for my missed p.e assessments but it was to keep his curse a secret. a-and now that you know, i’ll be damned if word gets to him. so you have to promise me you both don’t say or do anything..“ you sounded as if you begged. that was how much your the friendship you have with jaehyun meant to you.

“and yeah, that’s my answer. the magic trick was just a cover up to hide jaehyun’s dog form.” they listened and were surprised to hear you like this.

your fidgety hands and nervous breathing was too obvious. if jaehyun was just a friend, you wouldn’t act as if he was your- “oh no.” you slumped down on your arms. “why did i..” you mumbled as your feelings for him became clearer to you.

“oh my gosh. you like him! you like jaehyun!” lisa covered her mouth and changed the lingering negative atmosphere.

ba-dump. i..

“then that means your love for golden retrievers doubled!” minnie hugged you.

“no! it’s b-because you’re putting m-me in the spotlight-” you stuttered when they leaned towards you. “i’m gonna go.”

jaehyun flinched even though he was at a distance. your friends were yelling quite excitingly. you were being chased by them and although it was inaudible. he answered his phone as it was ringing for a while. “what, ten?”

“don’t ‘what’ me!” jaehyun tilted his head from his friend’s volume. “jae where are you?”

“i’m at y/n’s cabin and on my way bac-”

“nevermind that. i can see you.”

ten rushed towards him and looked at the cabin. “where’s lisa?” he squinted his eyes.

“just her and minnie chasing y/n out. i don’t know how but they left the door open. what are you doing here anyway?”

he mimicked a photographer’s gesture and pointed at the cabin. “lisa told me her pictures have developed and i’m here to get them.”

jaehyun flicked his forehead. “and you could’ve asked me instead.”

“they’re confidential and i’m shy if anyone sees it.” ten walked to the cabin.

“gross. just get them and head back quickly.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

you lost track of the days that have passed and there was an unsettling feeling that stayed in your chest. had it been two or three? you couldn’t remember. the basketball team’s practice matches and drills were normal. but there was a difference in air lingering around jaehyun. he still talked to you, kept the same gentle smile and was caring as usual. except whenever he did those, it seemed like he was distancing himself from you, creating an imaginary wall just to let you know your limits and boundaries.

you’d like to think it was because of the pressure coach has been giving him since the play-offs were close to date. but, it wasn’t all jaehyun who behaved that way. ten also distanced himself, his gaze pierced against your skull and thinking about it only caused you to have migraines. you were more scared of ten.

coach jung have asked you to help the cheerleading team, saying you’ve helped them enough. the amount of appreciation he had for you was too much, you couldn’t ask him about how jaehyun recently. yet this was all too sudden that your gut feeling told you otherwise. you planned to talk to jaehyun after the day ends. because in all honesty, something definitely happened.

and the boys left you out of it.

approaching jaehyun was harder than you thought. now you’ve realised it, he was always the one who took the initiative and you on the receiving end took the benefits of his kindness. it was supposed to be the other way around, so why were you taking advantage of this?

if having feelings for him was the reason for that, then you’re really stupid y/n. you laid on the grass in defeat from your thoughts and closed your eyes. you decided to have some peace and nature was your best friend in time like these. chirping birds and crashing riverbanks-

“jaehyun where are you?!”

ah crap. you twitched hard enough that swarms of goosebumps appeared on the majority of your skin. on your stomach, you hid behind the bushes to see jungwoo and the others struggling to find him. even at the mention of his name you were already feeling shy and flustered.

“is he skipping practice again?”

“ah whatever let’s just leave him.”

“i understand why he’s like that.”

“even i would feel hurt if i were him.”

a heavy and deep audible breath from their sudden entry was difficult to hide your response. you tried to leave as quiet as possible. not wanting to get caught, you had to move stealthily with few glides backwards on your knees, eyes glued to the boys’ actions if they looked elsewhere. when you felt something blocking the soles of your shoes, somehow you knew what it was.

“you’re blocking my way.” jaehyun’s irritated tone made your chest ache— in the most painful impact you never expected from him.

quickly you stood up and made sure you stayed out of sight from the boys. jaehyun scratched his temple at your awkward behaviour. he was already in front of you, why were you hesitating to ask him questions he left unanswered? jaehyun pulled a long face when you still remained silent. “if you’re not gonna speak when you clearly have something to say, do i really have to say it for you?”

what the hell is his problem? what’s with his tone? “yeah as a matter of fact i do. the thing is, i don’t understand why you’re being like this. you ignore me but still talk to me when i don’t help with the team anymore, and for some reason you’re mad at me?” you grimaced while leaning on a tree trunk.

there was cynism in jaehyun’s nods and the swirls of his tongue evident on his cheeks. you hated his attitude and all you wanted was an explanation. “whatever this is, i’ve got no reason for you to doubt me, jaehyun.”

“ah, really? ‘cause you just gave me one.” he fished out something from his pockets and as you watched, the item he was holding was too familiar and they were obviously not his. he flicked the sheets and that was when you confirmed they were the new pictures lisa developed.

why were they with him? at the pit of your stomach, a whirlwind of emotions and stressing pressure began, and you didn’t like the feeling at all. “what-”

he threw the pictures on the floor. “other than my family and friends you’re the only one who knows about my curse! and at some point you go against my back telling them to picture me when i’m left clueless?!”

right now you were really afraid jaehyun’s mood would attract attention.

you closed your eyes as he raised his voice. “look i have no idea how you got those but i promise you i had nothing to do with the picture-” you insisted and could feel your blood pressure rising.

“how- how could you betray me like this?!”

your heart fell and instead of feeling bad about him knowing, you felt your head ache with so much anger building up inside you. because jaehyun didn’t bother to listen or let you explain yourself.

“i found you in the background before lisa actually showed those to johnny! it would spread if she did! where’s the betrayal in that?!”

he stepped closer to you, your entire was itching to run away. “i don’t care! you still told your friends! you could’ve said another excuse like kun’s practicing his magic trick or something! you promised me my secret’s safe with you!”

that’s messed up. i did tell lisa and minnie but not because it was to mock him!

“kun was no where to be seen in the picture! what else can i do? lie to them? i know my friends more than you do and they won’t tell anyone!” you raised your voice as well.

jaehyun scoffed, rolling his eyes. “i don’t trust them!”

“well, i do! and you should trust me!” your tone wavering at all emotions hitting you at once. especially coming from him— the guy you developed feelings for.

“the moment you told them you broke my trust already! what else did you tell them, hm? my dad and brother having the curse too?” he brushed his hair in anger when your silence meant yes. “ugh is this really happening?! you told them everything!”

“okay that’s enough-” your vision blurring from the tears wanting to fall.

“i’m asking what else did you tell them?! dammit y/n what could be so important to you than my secret?!”

“well- i-”

“i what?!”

other than the secret, you knew what went after the reveal. then you realised the weight of your words, you couldn’t tell him that you actually like him. you wanted to be selfish this once. “i can’t.. tell you.”

jaehyun started to harbour more resentment towards your reasoning. he found it ridiculous of you to even continue with this conversation. ten already warned him that the secret wasn’t safe with you in the first place. the glimpse of hope faded when he thought you’d be the key, even if you were, trust was still important to him. it was the very thing his mother lacked and you doing so reminded him of it.

his expression darkened and you were afraid of him— excluding of how cruel he was with you on the exercise reps. you were afraid you just broken a promise and put your friendship on a rocky end.

“so that’s it? i’m begging you with my life on the line and you just gave me the most bullcrap answer!”

“you’re being unreasonable!” you yelled.

“shut up! you found about my curse so you should be the one compromising!”

“y/n!” lisa came running with a panicked face.

tsk, wrong timing. “not now.” you mouthed.

“have you seen my pictures?! i told ten to get them the other day but he got the wrong envelope! it’s the one with jae-” she bent down to catch her breath and was taken aback with jaehyun’s presence. “..hyun.”

the boys followed lisa and once they found their friend, you could tell ten’s stares that felt like daggers. he pulled jaehyun away but eyes still locked on you. “what happened?” lisa asked as you mirrored ten’s expression, but your friends could see the hurt in your eyes.

“he has the pictures. i think ten saw them and gave them to him. jaehyun’s mad, he thinks i betrayed him for telling you-”

“no that’s not it!” lisa held your hand and glared at the boys, especially ten, since he was her childhood friend. “you had every right to tell us because the pictures are my works-”

“shouldn’t have said anything further y/n! you should’ve gotten the pictures and told us instead of them! you promised, remember?” ten finally spoke up.

you rolled your eyes. “and what?! you’re like saying i should risk my friendship for his stupid secret!”

his friends turned heads to jaehyun to see his tight-knit brows and softening demeanour. jaehyun frowned and hurt was evident in his face. he was hurt by you, someone he developed feelings for in a short amount of time. “i believed it when you said you’ll help me. or were.. were all those just words to you?”

ah.. that came out wrong.

you bit your lips to say something, but they left so soon after, making your chest squeeze as if your lungs let out the last bits of oxygen from your body.

shortly over an hour, jungwoo watched his friend pace back and forth, nibbling on his nails when the tension grew in their cabin. “aren’t you too hard on her? you didn’t let y/n explain further-”

“i can’t believe her!” jaehyun crumpled the picture after looking at it. “how could she do this to me?!”

“honestly i just don’t think she’s that type of person to go behind someone’s back for her own entertainment.” kun spoke up and tilted his head, avoiding the cup that smashed on his side of his cheek. “perhaps you’re mistaken.”

jaehyun wasn’t in the right headspace whenever his past trauma was reminded or brought up, so no matter how much reason was given, he wouldn’t listen. “do i have to repeat it? she already had her fun when she told her friends to picture me!”

“your explanations are always so conclusive.” kun sighed.

“and your heart’s too soft as usual, kun! so back off!” jaehyun grabbed the older one’s shoulder and shoved him against the wall.

he released him soon after realising that he didn’t once listen to you, but he was too stubborn to take any more excuses. there was one thing he thought you were wrong— weren’t you risking your friendship with him by exposing his secret he kept so dearly? maybe distancing himself more than he did would clear his mind off from the mess.

—

when all sports teams lined up with their designated coach buses the days after, jaehyun slightly put his chin up to search for you in the crowd— in a subtle manner, since he still stood in his decision into having his space from you yet didn’t want it to be obvious to others that he cared for you still.

you knew he was staring from afar. it was a stupid misunderstanding, both of you were in the wrong, but he made you feel as if you carried the blame for this.

sure that was a given, that he would react worse than expected. you were going to take the pictures from lisa anyway, and the guys wouldn’t know that your friends knew. you didn’t expect you’d burst out of anger or that ten took them before you did and made the assumption. it still drove you mad, ten probably convinced jaehyun of your doing since he didn’t trust you at first.

that aside, you decided to ride the coach bus with the cheerleading team. “when we reach school, you can forget about the basketball team and camp. how dare they hurt you?” minnie hugged you as you stared out the window.

“if i had to weigh it, it’s not me who’s hurting. jaehyun is.” you sighed and pat her back. “how do i act if i bump to any of them? i’ll probably do something stupid again. at all cost, i’mma just- *sigh*”

“she’s talking about jaehyun right?”

“yeah she’s still not straightforward about him.”

“we know she likes him. she doesn’t have to hide it.”

“i can hear you both.” you lowered your hat to avoid their gaze.

jaehyun sat beside his father at the front for a change, playing with the blinds to cover sunlight. coach jung knew his silence more than anyone, even if jaehyun didn’t plan on telling him. “i’ve done what you told me to do. you didn’t want to see y/n after the fight. so? did it to any change?”

“no. i kept my distance and i’ll see if she’ll admit her mistake.” jaehyun adjusted the fan above him.

“jae, if only you saw her reaction when i told her to not come see the team. i know you’re smarter than this. you know it’s not all her fault.”

he clenched his palms hard. crescent moons soon showed themselves on the flesh. “where exactly in this is my fault, dad? have i not been patient to wait for curse to be broken? who said that y/n might have a contribution in this? it’s you, dad. i’m not holding any grudge against y/n. i’m just disappointed at her because she’s nothing i ever imagined her to be. goodness’ sake i even like her.” he mumbled at the last sentence, missing the point that his dad could hear it.

coach jung let out a short laugh at the remark. “not sure if you noticed, you haven’t seen y/n working hard at researching about our curse while you boys practiced. she’s always brainstorming at the possibilities, science or not, she’s always looking for ways. don’t let anger cloud you.” his father paused and had a pressed smile. “..don’t end up having small fights like me and your mother. you wouldn’t want it to be bigger than it already is.”

“yeah.. i know.”

you woke up with a thud and saw a rather prominent bump on your right temple through the reflection of the window. arriving at the campus grounds was quicker than you thought, despite being almost a half day journey. you overheard that the basketball team would stay there a little longer and you had to leave immediately because once everyone has gone home, you’d see him. you didn’t want to risk yourself from being spotted after you both fought.

it was a small matter now that you think about that day. stubbornness outweighed understanding in the two of you, and that resulted in immaturity. and if neither of you were willing to admit, might as well make the first move.

but you were stubborn as he was.

once the coach bus was nearing the parking area, the first and only thing you decide to do was get out of the vehicle and head straight home. you wouldn’t let your friends speak and looked at their bus. there sat jaehyun fiddling with the curtain. you then rushed out, covering your face from the basketball team as they too were getting off. “is that what she meant ‘at all costs’?” minnie facepalmed as she saw you walking away quickly.

“oh look, there’s y/n.” coach jung tapped the window to make jaehyun notice you. the way you behaved was weird for him, because it was too obvious you were avoiding getting seen.

“i don’t care.”

“it means you do.” his father messed his son’s hair. “okay, off you go. i’ll cancel the extra practice today and let all of you rest up during the weekend.”

jaehyun’s lips agape at his father’s last minute decision. he wore his cap and slung his bag. “if you’re doing this and expect i’d make up with her, you’ll regret ever cancelling practice.”

“ah c’mon. your old man is helping you out with a girl. can’t you tell what i’m doing, jae?” he laughed at his son’s reaction. he could see himself in jaehyun and knew things would get better.

“it won’t work dad.”

he rolled his eyes and went to where the bikes were parked. he kicked the stand at the rear wheel when his friends caught up to him with their own bikes. goodness why can’t they just leave me alone? “what do you want?” he stood a little to pedal ahead.

kun rode along beside him, eyes alternating at and on the road. “what now? you’re just going to pretend you didn’t see y/n? like nothing happened?”

“how can i ignore that when her figure’s so obvious and literally running away from here? i’m not going to do anything about-”

jungwoo then sighed heavily, causing jaehyun to knit brows. “she looked over our bus you dimwit! that means she thought of talking to you but held back because of-”

“i’ll talk to y/n in my own terms and in my own time! stop forcing me to do things when you think it would work well for me!” jaehyun pressed on the brakes with his palms.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

kun and jungwoo’s eyes followed your swirling fork and the silent air that had been going for half an hour. they thought knocking onto the doors of jaehyun’s closed heart was hard, never expected yours was harder. you wouldn’t say anything after they invited you, claiming they missed you around them.

because it had been two full semesters since then. from what the boys told you, jaehyun lost focus and couldn’t lead the team to the championships. he always fought with his father and would burst in anger, throwing unnecessary fits towards them even though they worked hard to reach the quarterfinals.

this behaviour would happen so often that it began to strain his relationships with everyone on the team. the transformation did a lot worse to his body, he’d get sick and weak, and for over months, he would not transform back immediately within the golden hour ended. it lasted longer. sometimes even the morning after.

it worried them that if jaehyun given up all hope and continued to act that way, the urge to find the solution would never take place. and that he would remain an animal forever. even so, you knew their intentions to invite you today despite feeling sad for jaehyun. and you prepared your answer before they could speak.

“y/n-”

“as much as i love to stay, i’m here to tell you you’ve wasted your efforts. if jaehyun won’t talk to me.. then i’ll just keep giving him space until he apologises first.” you were already losing appetite talking about it.

“and you think waiting game would pull off too, hm?” kun’s dimple deepened, a flat smile seen on the exterior.

you put down your fork. “i didn’t think we’ll last this long not talking-”

ten smirked in disbelief, you forgot he was there too. his presence was almost non-existent as he kept quiet the whole time. “keep it like that. you’re held accountable for making jaehyun the way he is now.”

“ten!” kun scowled at the guy. “i told you not to talk.”

you rolled your eyes that his words hurt more than the eye roll. “why is he here anyway? you said it’ll only be the two of you. unbelievable.”

“to see if you came up with a solution to lift jaehyun’s curse. looking at you now, i guess you didn’t.” he said and you tried your best to refrain yourself from hitting him. “were you mocking him when you suggested it might be the same answer as that disney film?”

“i said as a joke but it might be a possibility. we live in a world where people go through inexplainable experiences that science couldn’t dive in deep.” you sighed.

jungwoo tapped the table to stop the bickering you and ten were starting. “like my hunch says, maybe it’s another soulmate thing i’ve mentioned to you guys at the camp.”

“it’s not a soulmate thing, jungwoo.” kun and ten said simultaneously.

you brought out an a5 sized sealed envelope and the action alone made the boys stunned. “don’t open this. just give it to him. anyway, the sun’s setting. i really have to go.” you passed the item to kun.

it’s suffocating. i can’t stay here long. they saw how hesitating your limbs were, your eyes averting them and clearing your throat several times.

“ten, does this look like she didn’t do anything? this proves she’s trying.” kun took the envelope and hit it on ten’s head.

as you put on your coat whilst standing next to the table, ten sat back with arms crossed. “acting smart, aren’t you? you really think you’re the belle for jaehyun huh? i wouldn’t believe that for a second.”

“i didn’t say anything about me being the solution. i’m still keeping my promise to help him. and trust me, i don’t think i’m belle either.” you grabbed your bag and left, your food gone cold and jungwoo sighed at the air turning worse thanks to ten.

the cash money was placed on the table when kun called the waiter. “please keep the change.” he looked at your slouching figure by the bus stop across the restaurant. it screamed sadness and hurt all over.

the reason for suddenly leaving wasn’t because you were offended with what ten said. of course there was truth in his words. at some point you thought you were someone important to jaehyun, since you could hear him.

you thought you both were soulmates.

you left because you spotted a familiar figure standing by the door. haven’t been seeing him lately only made you feel angry at yourself. you were a coward, you even passed the envelope to the boys instead of giving it to jaehyun yourself. your friends already encouraged you about it, that that was the only thing to narrow the gap between you and jaehyun. it was to show that you were still supporting him.

why are you like this y/n? if you like him, you’d do anything to get his attention and forgiveness. why are you doing things to push him away, rather.. why are you forcing yourself to not care when you still do?

you continued to walk with your head low for another hour, troubled in your thoughts as they’ve been bothering you for many months. snap out of it y/n-

*tug*

*scratch*

the hems of your baggy jeans were pulled and torn with minimal, adorable force. it took you a while to process the animal before you. a blue bunny, what’s a bunny doing here- oh.

“sungchan?”

—

he rose from the bushes in front of their house. you stood there awkwardly while he figures to cover his body after the blue hour. “i’m sorry for asking you to bring me home. i get tired from hopping sometimes.” he grabbed a towel that he was hanging by the gate.

“no worries. i-i’ve seen- nevermind.” your voice softened at the latter.

sungchan pursed his lips to refrain himself from smiling since he was there and witnessed when it happened. “come in, i’ll make you some tea. it’s my way of thanks.”

although he was kinder than his brother, probably more mature, he was still young that you could see through his intentions. you knew he wanted some patching up done between you and jaehyun. you hesitated for a while, but since you were there already, might as well try to talk to him—

even if there was a slim chance of making things work.

you sat on the sofa, slightly still and awkward being in the residence. little sips, light breathing and the soft wind from the fan were only heard within the living area. “did my brother cause you a lot of trouble during the camp?” sungchan asked and knowing that you were silent, he knew jaehyun probably did. “how about now?”

“actually, i think i’m the one causing more trouble for him because i feel like i’m not doing anything to help when i said i would.” you sighed as he continued to listen.

“really? i heard from the others you’re helping so much that it changed my brother.. at the least he’s not cranky.” his nose twitched so adorably that you thought it was derived from being a bunny almost his whole life. “also, there’s that envelope-” he paused while realising how your expression caught him off guard.

maybe he shouldn’t have mentioned it, but he wanted you to know he wasn’t spying on you. he made that clear with his silence.

if he saw that back at the restaurant, that only meant he was there for quite some time. you let out a small smile that he was probably there not for you, but to wait for his brother’s friends. instead of bumping into them, he bumped into you.

“oh, that. it.. has a bunch of handwritten letters i’ve compiled when i struggled talking to jaehyun. i just felt that maybe it’s more sincere if i had to apologise.. y’know, eventually.”

he pursed his lips and nodded. “then why not put those words into actual words? like verbal words.” sungchan’s fingers pointed upwards, hinting that jaehyun was up in his room. “for all i know it’s the most sincere thing to do.”

crap, he’s not expressive but he’s so so mature for his age. it made you feel inferior for a moment.

“but before you do that, i have to tell you something that my dad and brother missed out about our curse. why jaehyun-hyung is more pressured than i am.”

(few minutes later)

you slid against the wall while sungchan went out to do grocery shopping. at the other side of the door, in between the thin gap, you could hear soft breathing; jaehyun was on his bed, sleeping in his dog form and it hurt you since time already passed both golden and blue hour, he should’ve transformed like his brother did. instead he laid there as if he didn’t have a care in the world.

meanwhile, jaehyun knew you entered his room. he pretended to be sleeping and expected he wouldn’t know how to act when he gets to face you. he decided to stay as he was.

until you pat then caressed his head.

he didn’t want to settle or give in for the fact you loved golden retrievers. he blamed on the shallow euphroria dogs easily feel. and because he was in his dog form, the anger he held for you disappeared. but at the same time, was your touch out of care or pity? he couldn’t figure it out. then he could hear the beats of your heart, and that made him sit up. your heart was fast. it was worrying. it was—

“why didn’t you tell me the whole story?” your voice wavered in heaving breaths as he finally looked you in the eye. his ears twitched and he faced the door, knowing that sungchan told everything.

jaehyun shook his body and whiskers moved before he telepathically answered you. “believe me i tried. i hate myself for being sensitive and i couldn’t bring to tell you because i got angry. but you have to know that i value trust more than anything.”

“you know what’s ironic?” you sighed, pressing your forehead as pain began to form. “you didn’t trust me first and and we fought because you didn’t do that. and you didn’t trust me enough that you only told me what, like 50 percent of it?”

of course he knew what you referred to.

he was going to tell you the day he visited your cottage at camp. but he didn’t get to, because ten told him news ahead of him that it ruined the purpose to talk to you. it wasn’t that he blamed him, it was due to the fact he wasn’t prepared for something like that. even for something like this.

because there was that prophecy weighing on his shoulders.

“sungchan said that it has to directly come from you, so you better tell me now before our friendship falls out.” you warned and leaned back against the headboard.

currently your friendship was on the line, wobbling on tight ropes. pushing you further away would do no good.

jaehyun sat and his paws were dignified into a comfortable position. his head laid on a cushion pillow, facing towards you. “fine. most of my family turns into wild animals, and they couldn’t control themselves in that other form. their wildlife instincts overpowers their thoughts.” he yawned.

“and it’s different for me and sungchan. when we were born, when we had our first full transformation, they were shocked to know we turn into domestic animals. we’re able to remember, think and live as if we’re still humans. at the end, it’s either of us to stop the curse.”

“so why did your brother mention that you’re the most pressured? why did it only have to be you?” this time you spoke, there was more depth into your feelings if you spoke. as sungchan said, verbally was more sincere. “you could share the burden with him.”

he sighed at the tone of your voice. “isn’t it obvious? the role is immediately passed onto me not because i’m the first born.. it’s because you suddenly could talk to me.. telepathically.”

“yeah and we couldn’t even figure that one out yet.” you scoffed remembering the times you’ve placed your efforts on that matter and now it had gone all to waste. all because you both had that fight.

he read through your eyes and sensed the intention from your words. plus he hated how you delivered it with that certain tone. “i didn’t bring this up just to blame you for my own satisfaction!” he groaned. “i brought it up so that i can apologise! i was wrong, okay?! i should’ve listened to you instead of carelessly listening to ten-”

you refrained yourself from showing any further hurt. recalling it would only make you cry. “well you were manipulated with ten’s assumptions. you believed him more than me. he had proof while i didn’t. i was in the losing end! not like i expected you to change your mind. so can we just.. get this overwith and tell me what the prophecy is?”

he was speechless for a while. you being straight-forward yet in a pained voice was too much for him. he was already softening his feelings for you and you had to tense it all up again. “‘only one could save those who lay under the curse, for they must be in the correct peace of mind and body to break it before it turns for worse.’”

“and the ‘worse’ means you won’t transform back anymore?” you asked, the prophecy already piercing your heart as you waited for more explanation.

“that and..” he trailed off. “..we lose our humanity too. we won’t remember anything. memories erased like a snap of the finger. and we’ll just be.. another animal.”

you pushed yourself to sit up as your heart clenched tight. “jaehyun! why say it now and not before?”

“because! what is there for you to do-”

you squished the dog’s into a wrinkly mess, to the point jaehyun couldn’t see anything. his paws tried to put your arms down, but even clawing was hard for him to do. then he felt you lean forward to hug him. “y/n? what’re you doing?” you didn’t answer.

crap, this is warm. it feels.. nice. embarrassed, he put his thoughts at the back of his mind. “are you doing this out of pity? do i look that helpless-”

what crossed his mind was that you thought he needed a hug and was the only thing you could do. but you proved him wrong, so, so wrong. and why didn’t he realise it sooner in his life?

“you have to treat yourself like someone you love!”

what?

“you have to fill yourself with it! have you been thinking half-heartedly or do things half-assed because you’re different from people? do you not realise there are people who loves you? you trust them so less that you’re not confident into breaking the curse! because you didn’t really try!”

he froze in his stance, like a bullet pierced through his chest with how true your point was. he didn’t know what love was when his mother left the family. he didn’t dare to open up with his dad and brother, not his friends as for so long he didn’t do that one important thing— trust.

jaehyun thought he did that. he had enough encouragement but only to the level of content. he didn’t expect more as what else was there for people cursed like his family? “why are you so worried or do this much for me?”

“because no one actually helped you!” your arms tightened around him. “your friends were occupied into thinking that protecting you and your curse from others was the safest thing to do. it’s not! it just gets you self-conscious, conceited and too comfortable to not to do anything at all!” everything you said knocked down the pillars of his pride. he wasn’t at all living in humility if his friends did ever help.

“y/n we’re nothing more than friends. how could you be pushing yourself onto my problems-”

“i’m one of the people, jaehyun. don’t you get it now? i l-”

as if the phone line got cut off, he couldn’t hear the rest. you appeared like a television who lost its voice, however, somehow he knew what came after that. he didn’t want to admit it, after spending time with you at camp, he realised his heart felt the same.

you were quick to catch on. the golden retriever just stared at you, you couldn’t hear him as well. not even telepathically. jaehyun laid back down, ignored you and went to sleep. you nudged him, he wouldn’t move. you felt a swarm of blame towards him. if only he told you earlier, he wouldn’t be in this state where he was just another dog. mostly you blamed yourself for not taking the initiative first to fix things. you went along with your anger and his waiting game.

where did it get you? to this.

the one second revelation he heard from you and then fell into slumber, he was standing in front of himself, before a mirror. a series of himself switching from human to animal throughout the years. the glass cracked over his face. as if he entered a new world, he had to prepare mentally for what was to come.

instead he awoke like he only passed out from exhaustion. to only see you hugging your legs, head down with soft sobs and hiccups, he reached out for you yet hesitated. he checked the time, the golden hour was to arrive.

“y/n.” he called out in a low voice.

“no.” you mumbled. “i shouldn’t be hearing him.”

“but you really are, though.”

you shot your head up, tears rolling down your cheeks when you felt his touch— his large palms holding yours. he transformed, you had many questions as you thought it was too late.

confused and tired, you stared at him blankly. processing the guy before you took a whole minute to realise jaehyun transformed back. “is.. is this a joke?” you coughed and rubbed your tears. “i saw you faint- i saw how you lost the light in your eyes- i saw-”

he’s blushing. his ears are red.

jaehyun pulled you into an embrace, he caressed your head as if he held a newborn. “the curse broke around the time i realised i lacked self-care. it was the same time you said it too.”

looking back, he didn’t treat himself right since the beginning. he realised he shouldn’t have looked for a solution or someone to love him. he was the someone he was looking for, and should’ve reflected on himself than to rely too much on others.

“you’re still hugging me.” you said, stopping his trail of thoughts. you pat his back quickly and he was holding you tight. “you’re squeezing the oxygen out of me.”

“can’t i hold you longer? you’ve been so helpful even when i pushed you away. now i don’t really want to let go.” jaehyun whispered. he never felt something like this before— this urge to love someone. “what if the curse comes back when you go away?”

you felt your head bursting with temperatures your body was experiencing now. “you really have to let go!” clearing your throat, you tried to shove him away.

“no. don’t be stubborn.”

“don’t be clingy, clingy!”

“you want me to hug you though.”

“i do but- wait no that’s not- i-”

he squeezed your face between his hands. “you love me, don’t you. and you said i’m not loveable.” he teased and goodness his dimples shot you at the heart. you kicked him in the chest yet he leaned forwards, closer than usual. “i can feel your veins beating crazily.”

ah for crying out loud! “jung jaehyun.” you called him with a stern and plain voice. “get off me.”

“tsk i said i wouldn’t-”

“jaehyun you’re naked.”

hm? he pulled himself away from you, looked down and covered his lower body. ah heavens- “i’m sorr-”

a thud was heard by the door. you both turned heads to sleepy sungchan dropping a parcel delivered to jaehyun while holding a toothbrush with his mouth and prominent bed hair. “uh bro, this is-”

“dad! i think hyung’s in his mating season!”

“i’m so not!”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

because the curse was lifted and jaehyun made it happen, all those who fell under it soon experienced freedom and joy after years of agony and pain and fear. feelings opposite to them showered upon them that morning like spring rain.

you sat in between jaehyun and ten, who haven’t been talking to each since they fought over little things, mainly about you. ten still didn’t believe that you were jaehyun’s girlfriend, because he recalled you guys were not going to mend things.

“so that’s it? it’s so hard to believe. she just hugged you and the curse’s gone? even more so you’re both dating?”

“ten, c’mon dude.” kun brought out his fist to bump yours. “she’ll be hanging with us from now on. you have to stop being a stuck-up.”

ten shrugged in defeat and finally nodded in acceptance. “fine. i’ll let it go. i mean the curse’s broken won’t bother jae anymore.” he turned to you. “i’m sorry y/n. jae and i have been best friends since kindergarten. so it’s kinda a brotherly instinct to protect him. it just comes out.”

“you do seem like the leader of the pack.” you fiddled with jaehyun’s fingers while he draped his arm around you.

“i thought i was the leader?” kun sounded offended, but not entirely.

jaehyun remained quiet. he told everyone what had happened. however, there was still one question left unanswered. what was the telepathy about?

what did it have to do with you and him? he thought about that real hard. were you actually a missing piece in the prophecy or did he misunderstand it? there were a lot of possibilities, a lot of ideas coming up that maybe he figured it wrong. maybe you did contribute to the breaking of the curse-

“ah!” jungwoo exclaimed as flicked the paper back and forth. he proudly showed what he found, putting the pieces together. the paper was moving quickly that the pairs of eyes couldn’t focus or see anything. “i’ve been telling you guys since camp but you wouldn’t listen to me!”

you squinted your hardest to see the words. all you got from the sheet of paper scribbles and connecting lines. the boys started to fight for the so they could read the younger one forcibly shoved in front of their faces.

jungwoo wanted his friends to feel their pride stepped on them, and held on the paper. “read the prophecy again. i’m excited-”

“you being excited about these things is nothing new-” ten yelled, and kun covered his mouth at the loud volume.

“‘only one could save those who lay under the curse, for they must be in the correct peace of mind and body to break it before it turns for worse.’ guys, it’s already hinted in it!” he pointed at the parts he was scribbling on earlier.

he expounded the prophecy was a little misleading. it wasn’t being literal about the right mind and body. they were the results of the having the correct heart, as the two would only be affected greatly if not for the heart.

jungwoo scooted next to you. “y/n, you weren’t only the key to solving it. you were the only person who gave him that push and made him realise he should love himself for who he was. you gave him that peace of mind because you are the heart. as we all know, the mind and body can’t function without the heart.”

“that sounds sweet?” kun blushed even though he wasn’t supposed to.

“yeah sure but the telepathy happening at the same time with my curse was just a coincidence though?” jaehyun asked.

“onto my next point!” jungwoo drew on the paper again. “i realised you told us before that only family members of the same curse can talk to each other telepathically.”

jaehyun’s brows only furrowed narrower. “which doesn’t make sense because she’s not part of my family.”

jungwoo grinned widely, it almost made you nervous but if it was coming from jungwoo, it always had to be something good. “not even us lads can even talk to you with our minds though we’re close like brothers. what if it’s a sign that she will be part of your family? even if the curse’s broken, it still proves my point that you were soulmates all along.”

somehow you knew it was headed to this. what jungwoo’s saying was similar to your hunch. you weren’t confident as he was because at the time, the curse wasn’t lifted. now that it was, you never knew you were actually right.

jaehyun shrunk in his seat after hearing jungwoo’s theory. he looked at you; who was now giggling with the others. he never thought you were his soulmate, it never crossed his mind. you appeared in his life as a shadow at first, before you resurfaced and made it a roller coaster ride. it was an eye opener for him too, you loved him for who he was, his flaws— that being the curse. although there were frequent bickers, that didn’t mean he didn’t enjoy or hate them. he was afraid you’d leave after knowing his transformation.

you didn’t. you stayed. not because you were forced to just to keep his secret, you stayed since you said you’d help. and that lifted weight off of his shoulders. colours came into view more spirited, clouded thoughts in his head faded and everything he heard that were once muffled became clear. he had to compare it like he was reborn.

in the end, you were still beside him, adjacent to him.

[rae-is-typing]

Sick Day

Notes: This was requested by a lovely anon, and it was inspired by my past few days. Enjoy :)

Original request from anon: Can you write an Avenger imagine, where the reader is the youngest of the cast and gets sick/has an accident on set?

Description: You get sick. That’s it. That’s the fic.

Characters: reader, original female and male characters (manager named Masha, assistant named Alis, an EMT named Esme, trainer named Nick), RDJ, Chris Evans, Anthony Mackie, Sebastian Stan, Scarlett Johanson, Elizabeth Olson, the Russos

Warnings: Swearing sickness, vomiting, mention of pepto bismol (that shit’s NASTY), swearing, homework

Word count: 2.9k

You don’t get sick.

You don’t have time to get sick, so you don’t. Between filming, training, and school, sickness is absolutely not an option Simple as that, right?

Well, your body didn’t get the memo.

Your body is racked with chills, but you’re sweating profusely. You chalk it up yo the intense scene you’re filming; your character and Robert’s character just got into a massive screaming match over your character’s secret identity being revealed. But in the middle of the second take, your words dissolve into coughs.

"No, Tony! It's not okay!" You shout, whipping around to face a very pissed looking RDJ. "I-" A cough disrupts your words. "I don't-" This time you break down into a fit of uncontrollable coughing, even going as far as doubling over.

"Cut!" Robert rushes over to you, placing a hand on your back. He makes you stand up fully. He speaks up when you finally stop coughing. “You alright, kid?" You nod your head, rubbing at your throat.

"Yeah, I'm good. I'm sorry, I have no idea where that came from." A smile tugs at his lips. "Don't apologize, Y/N. It happens."

Alis, an assistant, comes over with a bottle of cold water, placing it on your hands with a curt not. You thank her and open the water, taking a few slow sips as the Russos offer feedback on what you managed to get through.

"That was are best take until the coughing. Whatever you did before, do that again." You try not to beat yourself up over the coughing; it's show business, it happens.

Getting back into position, you two manage to finish the scene with minimal interruptions. During your yelling match, your head begins to pound. It's not the light pounding you get when you didn't get enough sleep or you're dehydrated, it's the kind where you're sure that your old band director is leading the entire drum line on your brain tissue, or something is punching your skull with little pistons.

The second "Cut!" rings out through the set. You deflate, rolling your shoulders and rubbing your head. You trudge over to a small bench near the set and plop down, stretching your now aching limbs in the process.

Being the (mother hen) good mentor and costar he is, Robert realizes something is wrong very quickly. You're usually very bubbly after scenes end, the adrenaline still coursing through you. He can only think of one time he saw you like this, and that was right after you took the SATs. He calls over Alis again, asking her to get some green hibiscus tea with honey and acetaminophen. Alis is back within five minutes. He walks over to you and sits by you.

"Here, take these." You frown at the to-go cup and the small container in his hands, but ]take them anyways.

"What is it?"

"Tea, and tylenol. They'll help with your headache and cough." He says, matter-of-factly.

"Oh, thanks, Robert."

"Course, gotta help my favorite kid." He says, pushing himself off of the bench. "Now, I don't know about you, but I am starving. What do you say we get a bite with the others?" He extends a hand for you to take

"Sure," You say without thinking. Any time with the cast is great, even if you're extra tired and achy. You let him pull you up. The cast orders sandwiches from a little shop in downtown Atlanta, very close to the set.

You're gathered in a larger, mostly empty save for a few couches and chairs part of the set where you often meet. Everyone is talking. They're either going over that days work and characterization, recent events in the news, and their weekend plans. Your sandwich is a little off. It smells fine, it's exactly what you ordered, but it tastes... off. Something in it is making your stomach churn and grumble. You place the sandwich back in the wrapping it came in, fold it up, and throw it away.

That's enough for tonight, You decide. "I have school stuff that I need to get done." You say.

"Aw, okay. See you tomorrow!"

"Fuck school,"

"Language!"

"Shut the hell up, man."

You smile as you walk to your trailer. You do have school, you always have school, and it sucks major ass. The suckiest thing you have to complete is a seven page, MLA format, argumentative research paper about birth control in the developing world. And, oh my god, you would rather be hung upside down by your toe hair than write that fucking paper.

But you write it anyway.

Why? Because it's due in two days and you haven't started it yet. So you buckle down, ignoring the headache you have and your churning stomach, and do the damn thing.

You get three pages in before you decide that being tired isn't worth this paper. Getting up at 5:30 in the morning each day to train for two hours is definitely not your favorite part of your job, but it is some of the only alone time you’re able to get, so you'll take it. You stand up from your desk and immediately regret moving. Dizziness overcomes you. You flop back onto your office chair and press a hand to your forehead.

Taking a few deep breaths, you get back under control and stand up much slower. This time, you're able to walk to your small bedroom area with an attached bathroom. You wash your face, being extra careful as to not make yourself pass out from dizziness. You do the same when brushing your teeth.

During the night, you get all of two and a half hours of sleep. You toss and turn all night, unable to ignore the churning in your stomach for long enough. And the fact that you're hot one second and then freezing the next. it is impossible for you to sleep for more than a half hour at a time. But you eventually do.

Assuming that's the end of it, you sleep deeply until cramping in your stomach forces you out of bed. you make yourself sit up. A wave a nausea comes over you like a tidal wave. You hobble to the bathroom and lean over the toilet just in time.

Bile and your half-eaten sandwich forces its way from your stomach, up your throat, and into the toilet. It's gross. It smells vile, its chunky and the strain makes tears come to your eyes. You dry heave and cough until you're sure everything is out. Feebly, you flush the toilet and leaned back against the wall across from it, deep breathing until you stop crying.

Unaware of the time, you stay there until you feel strong enough to get up and brush your teeth. You hobble back to your bed, and lay back down. This time, falling asleep again.

A knocking on your door pulls you out of your slumber.

"Y/N? You need to get up." The smooth voice of your manager, Masha, floats through your door.

You jolt awake, now remembering that you have to train. "Shit, what time is it?"

"Six AM. I'm opening the door," Masha says, while opening the door. You wince as the light seeps in, covering your eyes.

"Whoa, what happened to you?" She asks. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah, yeah yeah yeah, I'm good. Shit Nick is waiting. I'll get ready, gimme like two seconds," You ramble, stumbling out of bed.

"Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, hold on." Masha says, putting both hands on your shoulders, steadying you. Huh, you didn't realize you were wavering.

"You're burning up, Y/N." She observes, pressing the back of her hand on your forehead. "I think you're sick. Tell me what's going on."

"Nothing."

"Have you thrown up or anything? Headaches? Lie to me, and it won’t be pretty."

“I threw up,” You croak, flopping back on the bed.  

"Alright, I'm going to get Esme, stay here, lay down." Masha speaks quickly, pulling out her phone.

Esme is the lead EMT on set. She was an RN for years before transferring to emergency medical services. The stunt doubles and the actors take major precautions before stunting. However, some things can't be avoided, hence the EMTs.

Esme comes into your room in no time, followed closely by a worried Masha.

"Alright, Y/N. What's wrong?"

"I'm a little sick right now."

"Alright. Symptoms?"

"Chills, headaches, I uh threw up a few hours ago..." You hate admitting it. That means you won't be able to do much today. It's apart of your contract. If you get sick, you have to take at least two days off because you're a huge liability for Marvel. Being a minor kinda sucks.

She nods. "Alright hon, follow my directions." Esme checks you out thoroughly. After telling her about your weird sandwich, she nods knowingly.

"It looks like a fever, and that sandwich made you throw up. Get some pepto bismol and tylenol. Make sure to drink a lot of water and other clear liquids. Eat the BRAT diet, and you'll be good to go in a few days. I suggest making a doctor's appointment today, though. I can’t diagnose you."

"Alright, thanks Esme." Masha says as Esme leaves. She turns to you, sighing. "I'm sorry, N/N. I'll get what you need from a store, let the Russos know, and make the appointment. I think you should go back to sleep if you can."

"Thanks, Mash. You're the best."

She smiles gently before leaving. You turn on your side and pull the blanket over your head, eventually dozing off.

The veil of sleep is slowly lifted as you blink your eyes open. Thanks to some great blackout curtains you have, no light seeps into the trailer. This time, you don't feel nauseous. However, an inkling of dizziness is still there. You stay in your position for a few minutes until you reach for your phone. A ton of notifications appear on your lockscreen.

3 missed calls from Masha the Manager

Messages from Masha the Manager

Y/N, Nick is waiting. Where are you? Sent: 5:30

Get up now, Y/N. Sent: 5:30

Y/N. You're scaring me. You're never late. Sent: 5:43

Everything you need is on the counter. Read the note first though. Sent: 7:00

Message from evans

Hey Y/N. Heard you weren't feeling well. Lemme know if I can help, okay? Sent: 7:15 AM

Message from Romanian Bitch™

Masha told us you're sick. Feel better we need you! Sent: 7:19 AM

Message from Stanky Stark

Get better soon okay? Sent 7:19

Messages to No Boys Allowed!!!

ScarJo: get well soon babe. let us know if you need anything 7:20

Scarlet Bitch: aw, feel better N/N Sent: 7:21

It warms your heart knowing that they care so much about you. You send a simple thank you to each one of them and close your eyes again.It only takes a few seconds for you to remember all the homework you have to do. Your eyes snap open and you groan.

You do not want to do homework. But you have two whole days with no training and no work, so why wouldn't you? That thought is all you need to get out of bed. You don't bother changing. You migrate to the small living area, and go to the counter where Masha had set all the stuff. You found the note quickly, and read Masha's half print, half cursive writing.

Y/N,

Take two doses of pepto and two things of tylenol, but read the instructions!!! Eat some applesauce or toast, and call me if you get any worse.

-Masha

You unpack the canvas bag and quickly take your medicine. After that, you take all the food with you to the couch. You plant yourself on the soft sofa and dive into your work.

Being interrupted every few minutes with coughing is not the ideal space for productivity, especially because your throat is becoming increasingly raw. You put your phone in a drawer in your desk so you aren't distracted. Like most teens, you have a bad habit of prioritizing your phone.

A knock on the trailer door pulls you out of your focus. "Y/N, it's us!"

"Come in!" You say, still typing. You cringe at how sore you sound. Scarlett and Lizzie come in, still in costume.

"We can't stay for long," Scarlett starts, looking very apologetic. "We have a five minute break and we wanted to check on you."

You smile, setting your computer to the side. "Thanks guys. I appreciate it."

"How are you feeling?" Lizzie asks.

You shrug. "I'm okay, I guess."

"What were you doing?" Scarlett asks, spotting the half finished essay on your laptop. "You're supposed to be resting."

You sigh. "Yeah, but I should just get it done..."

The three of you talk about how shooting is going, and the production of the film in general. It's going smoothly. Nothing is going wrong. Soon, though, they have to leave. You're left to your own devices for another few hours.

Now that you’re revising the paper, your eyes ache, your left hand is cramping up, and you're positive you gave yourself carpal tunnel.

Another knock on the door reverberates through the trailer.

"Open up, kiddo!"

"It's unlocked." You snap back, not unkindly. Anthony and Sebastian walk in. You stop typing for a second to smile at them. "Hey,"  

"Hey, N/N." Sebastian smiles back. "We brought you soup."

Your face twists up. "Is it from the sandwich shop?"

"Nah, Masha told us that made you sick. This is from the high-end shop across the street," Anthony says, handing you a warm styrofoam bowl and a spoon. he also takes your laptop. "What are you writing an essay for? You’re sick! And a kid! Kids don’t do school when they’re sick.”

“What do you know about kids?” You smile, leaning forward to reach for your laptop.

"Nuh uh, no no no. You're going to relax while we're here, okay? And for your information, I have three children."

You cock an eyebrow. "Uh huuuuhhhh," you draw out.

He rolls his eyes, saves your essay, and turns on the television that you rarely use. "Alright, N/N. Netflix or Hulu?"

"My essay."

"Hey siri, does netflix or hulu have a show called 'My essay'?" You shove his shoulder lightly with a scowl. Sebastian is having a grand time laughing at you while eating his own soup.

"Alright, alright. We'll watch The Office, it's one of your favorites." Anthony chuckles.

You huff, leaning back on the couch and pulling off the cover to your soup. "Fine."

"Michael Scott is such a bad boss." Sebastian remarks.

"How dare you!" You gasp, your voice cracking severely.

"I can't take you seriously when you sound like a twelve year old boy." He retorts.

"You're being mean,"

"Mmm sorry sweetheart," He chuckles.

The three of you watch a couple episodes before they have to leave. You thank them for their time and the soup profusely. They wave you off, saying something along the lines of 'No problem, kiddo'.

After they leave, you snatch up your laptop and make the final revisions on your essay. There, finished in two days, and all it took was eating a bad sandwich. You should totally do that more often. (No you shouldn't. Never doing that again.)

You opt for more Michael Scott and some ginger ale mixed with Gatorade. You fall asleep on the couch huddled under a fleece blanket you retrieved from your room area two more episodes in, and wake up to gentle knocking and someone calling your name.

"Y/N? You there?"

"Yeah." You call, voice thick with sleep.

"Can we come in?"

"Sure?" You say, burrowing under the blanket. The door opens revealing Chris Evans and Robert, both looking tired after a long day of filming.

"Did we wake you up?" Chris asks.

"Yeah, it's fine though," You yawn, sitting up slowly.

"Oh, sorry 'bout that kiddo,"

You shrug. "What's up?"

Robert gives you a dad smile. "We just wanted to come see how you're doing. Feeling any better?"

"Yeah, I guess. Don't feel pukey anymore."

"That's good. Anthony said you were doing homework all day?" Chris asks, tone not too far from accusatory.

"I had an essay to do." You defend.

Robert clicks his tongue. "You're supposed to be resting, Y/N, not doing homework."

You pout. "I still had to get it done..."

"Alright, no school stuff tomorrow, okay?" Robert orders. "Rest only."

"Rest only." You repeat.

"Alright, now go to bed. You look exhausted."

"Okay. Thanks for checking on me," You stand up slowly, paying close attention to how you feel. You give each of them a hug before going to your room.

You check your phone, again giving in to those bad habits.

Message from Masha the Manager

Doc appointment at 1 pm tomorrow. He's gonna make a house call.

Sent 7:28 PM

You shoot back a quick 'K' before turning it off and laying down for the night.

[har-rison-s]

i gave you my heart

A/N: Hi! Merry Christmas, happy Boxing day and happy holidays! (if you celebrate). I've really wanted to write something about Billy from Gremlins, and I've done it. So if I have any Gremlins fans among my followers or readers, congrats!!! Happy reading! Merry Christmas! Stay safe <3

christmas masterlist

main masterlist

warnings: bit of angst, talks of gremlins, nothing else.

word count: 2.9k

song recommendation: Gremlins soundtrack + Last Christmas by Wham! for the plot :)

She was just about ready to go home after finishing cleaning up the used rooms at the youth center, she only needed to lock the last one and get her coat from the empty wardrobe. Y/N was content, feeling festive and ready for Christmas Eve and morning, ready to go home and spend the holidays with her family. Working at the youth center was mostly a volunteered action from her, because she loved to give joy to those who don't feel it or can't have it in their lives. She loved to help, her heart was pure and giving.

But going home wasn't gonna be so easy, she realised. As she was walking down the hall towards the wardrobe, near the entrance, she heard screams and splashes coming from further into the building, and Y/N froze in her tracks. She was supposed to be alone here. Who else is inside? Is someone hurt? Has someone broken in? She slowly continued her way towards the wardrobe, hoping she'll grab her coat and exit YMCA unnoticed by whoever else is in the building with her. Y/N started to feel a little scared.

Suddenly, from the door to the pool and into the hallway she was standing in, shoes squeaking and hurried breath echoing through the otherwise empty hallway, emerged Billy Peltzer. Y/N would have screamed, but seeing Billy made her so puzzled and confused she couldn't make a sound. He didn't look much out of the regular, he had his usual winter jacket on and his backpack on his shoulders, but the look on his face was something out of the ordinary. Y/N had never seen Billy with fear in his face. Mostly, she'd seen him smiling, concerned or sad. Last time she saw him, he was happy and smiling, but the last time she really saw him and talked to him, he had sadness in his features. She remembered it well, how the emotion etched itself deep into his lineament and painted itself across his beautiful eyes. It was only a few Christmases ago.

Luckily, he had something to say to disrupt the tense silence created between them and their locked eyes. “Y/N! What are you doing here?” His voice was hushed and full of worry. He made his way over to Y/N, and only then did she notice that his backpack was open and there was something peaking out of it. Her eyes landed on a furry little animal with big eyes and huge ears. Her eyebrows raised. What is Billy up to in here? “Are you okay? What are you doing here?”

Seeing Billy so close to her suddenly, and so unexpectedly, was weird. Especially after she decided to write and send him a Christmas card this year, telling him, well, everything. It was a foolish decision, she knew it from the start, but she couldn't stop herself, she just had to do it. Looking into his eyes, and still not answering his questions, she wondered if he's read it already, or if he hadn't, and if he had, what did he think of it? She's certainly been stranded in an awkward situation on this year's Christmas Eve. 

“Can you hear me, Y/N?” 

“Y-Yes, I can.” She finally managed to say. Y/N noticed Billy had taken a hold of her hand as she looked down, and she quickly looked back at him. “I'm… alright. B…” She almost wanted to say his name, but it felt that she would add a great weight to it if she spoke it out loud. “But what are you doing here? It's Christmas Eve! And what's--” She didn't even know if she should say “him” or “that” or “her”, to address the little something in Billy's backpack, now looking at her with widened eyes over Billy's shoulder. Billy caught her stare and looked back at the creature.

“That's Gizmo, he's with me.” Billy gave a short answer which didn't help Y/N out much with understanding what this Gizmo was. He certainly looked cute, and not dangerous. She suddenly remembered about the sounds she heard not a minute earlier, the yells and splashes.

“I--I heard noises here. Was that you?” She questioned, her eyebrows now furrowed, and she finally gained the courage to look into Billy's eyes. They're still as capturing and familiar as they were the last time she was with him. He's still the same Billy. 

“Sort of.” Billy answered, his voice sounding rushed and strained. “But look, we have to get out of here. It's not safe.”

“Why?” She immediately questioned, mistrust figuring in her voice. Then more splashing noises, as an answer to her question, started to come from the closed pool room. Besides water, she also heard boiling and growls and scrunches and all other sorts of strange sounds. Y/N was too afraid to walk into the pool room, and she figured what Billy said about this place's safety was true, and decided that she'd trust him. “Okay.” She agreed and they headed towards the exit. But before they went outside through the door Y/N noticed was broken, she took her coat and scarf from the wardrobe. She didn't want to freeze to death outside. 

As they ran away, Y/N heard little mewls and whimpers from the creature Gizmo in Billy's backpack, and it seemed to her he'd soon fall out of it, in the incredible speed Billy was running with. She took little Gizmo in her hands and then caught up to Billy, running side by side with him. The falling snow was cold and painful against her bare hands and face, and the general cold temperature of Kingston Falls wasn't helping, either. “Where exactly are we going?” She asked him in a yell and tried to secure her scarf around herself and Gizmo for warmth. 

“My house, my car, I figure.” Billy said between his rushed breaths. They're soon reaching the end of Billy's home street. Y/N smiled to herself, remembering that German beetle car his dad gave him for high school graduation, and how it seemed to never work when he needed it to.

“And then what? What was in the pool room?” Y/N paused. “What's going on?”

Billy sighed as they reached the car, and Y/N's question was still lingering in the air. Billy put his hand on the snowy roof of his car and looked at Y/N. “We need to warn people. The whole town is in danger.” He said and opened the car door to get inside. 

“What?!” Y/N asked more herself, because Billy had already closed his door and didn't hear her. She decided to get inside, too, and she opened the passenger door and sat inside immediately. Gizmo cooed and purred in her hands, she could feel that the little guy was shaking, he was obviously scared, Y/N guessed, by whatever was inside the YMCA pool. Billy attempted to start his car as Y/N closed her door and got comfortable in the passenger seat with Gizmo in her hands. “Billy, what the hell's going on?” She repeated her earlier question, now more freaked out than before. She was in such a state of confusion, and she was a little scared by the creature in her hands, scared by Billy's behavior, scared by what could be in the pool. Billy succeeded in starting his car, and smiled to himself in victory. He looked at Y/N.

“I don't know how to explain quickly.” He said and turned on the radio, just a habit of his, she knew that well. Whether he was alone in his car or with someone, he always turned on the radio. Billy pulled out of his driveway, shaking him and Y/N and Gizmo back and forth in their seats.

“Try your best, cause I'm starting to get scared and I just want to go home!” She let panic into her voice by accident. Billy looked at her, worry across his features. No more fear, just worry. For her. For his hometown. 

“You can't go home. Not while…” he sighed, “they could attack you, they could attack your mom, your dad, whoever they please.” He said and turned his eyes back to the road ahead. Y/N's eyebrows furrowed.

“Who, Billy, who could attack me, who are you talking about?” All her questions seemed to merge into one that sounded like a ramble, but she couldn't help it. And she knew Billy would understand what she wanted to know, anyway.

“Gremlins, Y/N.” Billy said and looked at her again. “Gizmo, who you're holding, he's a mogwai--”

“Mogwai?” She echoed. Gizmo echoed the same word in a high, squeaky, adorable voice and Y/N looked down at him in response with a nervous smile on her features.

“Yes. My dad gave him to me a few days ago. There are rules you have to follow to keep a mogwai, and it feels like I've broken almost all of them.” Billy kept explaining. “Bright light is dangerous for him, but sunlight will kill him, that's the first one. Don't get him wet, don't give him water to drink, don't give him a bath - cause it turns out, they multiply if they're wet.”

“Multiply - what?! Do they, like, mate or something?”

“Not really.” Billy shook his head. “It's hard to explain, but--they just multiply with water. And third one is to never feed him after midnight. Cause if you do, they'll hatch. Similar to a butterfly's stages of life.”

“Ah, from worm to butterfly.” Y/N said and Billy nodded along. They're halfway over to the sheriff's station. “Can Gizmo turn into a butterfly?”

Billy shook his head. “They don't turn into butterflies, they turn into these… strange creatures. I don't really know how to describe them, but gremlins seems to be the right word for how they look.” He said. “Basically, a few hatched--that's what they do if you feed them after midnight--at my house because Gizmo accidentally got wet, and they were different from him. And mom killed most of them, but one got away. He has a little white stripe in the middle of his head--”

“Stripe!” Gizmo squeaked out. 

“Yes, his name is Stripe. I think he's the gremlins' leader or something, at least he seemed like one.” Billy said and shook his head again. Y/N's been completely silent while the boy talked, trying to connect the dots and stay in reality at the same time. Gremlins? Mogwai? Strange creatures? “Anyway, I followed Stripe into YMCA and he got into the pool, which means there could be… well, hundreds and thousands of them now.��� Y/N uttered a whimper in the midst of her sigh. Billy gave her a momentary glance, still ever so worried about her. 

“This is a lot of information to take in in five minutes time.” She said finally, after a while of silence. She kept holding Gizmo with one of her hands while she used to other to hold her head with. Billy wanted to say he's sorry, but for what exactly he doesn't know, because the gremlins have evil minds of their own, and it wasn't exactly his fault that Gizmo got wet. But he was sorry for how Y/N feels now, and he knew he's the cause of that. She accidentally got involved with him and this whole sticky situation. Billy didn't want to cause her anymore grief. What happened a few years ago was enough. He looked at her somberly. Her wish to be safe and to be home was well-visible in her eyes. “You said that… sunlight is deadly for them?”

“Light bright! Light bright!” Gizmo squeaked from Y/N's lap, and made her laugh. He's so cute, she thought. 

“Yes. I haven't seen what happens, but dad said it'd kill them.” Billy said. 

“So we should just… No, we can't wait. We have to get them someplace, all together, and keep them there until the sun rises, no?” 

Billy shook his head. “We can't wait that long. They'll have destroyed the whole town by sunrise.”

“Damn.” Y/N cursed to herself. “God, Billy, what will we do?”

“We need to warn everyone and then we can do something, once everyone's inside.” Billy said. They finally reached the sheriff's station and Billy pulled into its parking lot, next to the sheriff's car. Silence erupted in his car when he turned off his engine and the radio, only Gizmo purring could be heard. There seemed to be a pause, a holding of breath between Billy and Y/N. They looked at each other. Billy looked pretty as ever to Y/N, his eyes determined and beautiful, still visible in the dark, and his lips slightly parted. 

“Billy.” She softly whispered, afraid he'd actually hear her, and he did. Cause he turned to her in his seat, ready to hear whatever it is she had to say to him, or ask him. A million questions are running around in her mind, each one begging to be asked, spoken out-loud. She did want to know all their answers, but she didn't have that much time now. Their lives were in danger, their families, their whole town was in danger. This wasn't the time for sentimental questions about could-have-beens that could have been if some circumstances were different. 

The event of a previous Christmas, which must have been two years back, sat in the back of both their minds. Though it was drawing closer to the front by each passing second since their meeting, rather reunion, in the YMCA building. Billy and Y/N each had their regrets about what happened, and suddenly those regrets, along with guilt, were coming back to the surface. Questions and reassurements were appearing in Billy's mind as well, and apologies and corrections, too. He had so much to say to Y/N, and she to him. They might die in the next few hours, for all they know, so why not say it all now?

“Did you… did you get my card?” Y/N asked in a soft, almost inaudible voice. Billy's lips turned into sort-of a smile. A polite one.

“I did.” He answered honestly with a nod. Y/N felt like her heart stopped in right that second. He read it? He read all of it? Tears gather in her eyes.

“Did--” she sniffled, and she felt Gizmo turning his head up to her and mewling softly, “did you read it?” Billy's lips turned into a smile. The answer seemed obvious, he nodded.

“Yes. Yes, I did.” He said and felt himself near tears, as much as he didn't want to admit it. Y/N's heart picked up speed, her eyes widened a bit. It felt like she couldn't breathe. What now? Ask more questions? Wait for Billy himself to say something? Billy shook his head and looked down. But when started to say something more, he looked at Y/N again. “You know, I… I was a bit of an idiot back in high school.” He said, guilt was written all over his face. “And reading your card… And seeing you almost every day in town--because, let's face it, our town is a small one--” Y/N laughed and brushed some tears away, “it just made me realise that more and more. And I thought, being such an idiot then, I thought I certainly don't deserve her now.” He looked right at Y/N. “I felt like I'd be too late, right guy, right feelings, just the wrong time, if I said something to you now.” He admitted. Y/N felt like she could fly right now, levitate six feet in the air. She couldn't believe she was hearing this from Billy. “It doesn't always work out right, situations like this, but… what you wrote… I know I'm not too late.” He said then. Y/N smiled a broken, tearful smile. She got so emotional because of her fear and confusion, all in under fifteen minutes. She would have never expected any of this to ever happen. 

“You're not too late.” She assured him, shaking her head softly. Their eyes locked and they finally smiled at each other, their smiles were happy and born out of pleasant emotions and feelings. Love. 

Billy leaned over his seat and the middle console, and pushed his lips softly onto Y/N's. She didn't mind, she kissed him back when she got over the fact that her long-term love, or the love of her life she would have called him, was kissing her, and he was kissing her for the first time and on his own accord. Her free hand entangled itself into his dark locks, it was something she'd always wanted to do, and now she had all the chances in the world to. Billy smiled when she did that, and kissed her again. 

Gizmo mewled and chuckled from Y/N's lap, and brought the two out of their daze and their attention back to what's going on around them. Billy and Y/N chuckled and he couldn't stop himself from giving her another kiss on the lips before they separated and began to get out of the car. “Let's save the town first.” Billy said, both of them smiling. Y/N chuckled. “Afterwards, I'm all yours.” 

Y/N laughed louder and made Gizmo smile with that. He cooed from his place in her warm hands and made the two teenagers laugh before they really got out of Billy's car. They walked to the sheriff's station hand in hand, looking at each other with pure, free love in their eyes. Maybe it won't be such a lonely Christmas after all, Y/N thought.

Permanent tag-list:  @gabiatthedisco @v0idbella @works-of-fanfiction @destiel-stucky4ever-loki-queen @stfxlou @ur-gunna-h8-ths @betweenloveandfire @but-legendsneverdie @deardeacy @thewinchesterchronicles @mavieesttriste16 @intrrverted @the-freak-cassie-131 @beverlyparkerr @gasbomb69

A/N: Maybe I should write a sequel or prequel to this. Hmmm...

[nciwch]

Conversations...

We are in deep, deep snow, almost mid-thigh deep for some of the youngest. They are sledding and sliding down a huge snow bank. The youngest starts whimpering as she walks towards me, “The snow is hurting my leg”, she says. I kneel down in the snow next to her and together we scrape aside some snow so that we have a flattish surface to sit on, without completely sinking into the snow.  We make ourselves comfortable and she pulls off her boot. I see that it is filled with snow. We empty it out, I help her pull off her sock, squeeze it dry and help her pull it back on. Then we get her boot on. She gets up with a bounce and is back on her feet, singing out a thank you. Me…not so much. I make some ineffective and hopeless maneuvers with my body, trying to get to my feet. I notice the 3 year old is standing and watching me curiously. Her furrowed brow tells me she is either concerned or confused. She comes a couple of steps closer, bends a bit and asks, “You don’t know how to stand up, Ms. Deepa?” I am hot and flustered and more than a little embarrassed and I say, “Of course I know how to stand up but I am finding it challenging to do that right now.” “So are you strated right now?” she asks. “YES! YES! I AM FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW!” I say a little testily. She semi-squats in front of me, “I see you are stuck, Ms. Deepa. I’m here to help you okay? But you have to work on it yourself first, okay?.” I look up at her, a little taken aback, as the words sound oddly familiar. But she is deadly earnest. “I’ll help you with my words, okay?” Then she gives me a set of directions that sound like TWISTER moves. “You put one hand behind you, okay? Then you push your body up, uh-huh like that …”– she affirms as I try to follow her directions. “Okay, almost done Ms Deepa…oh no, that’s okay...” she commiserates as I collapse back down. “One more time okay?” And this time, she offers me her tiny hand to help pull my Amazonian (in comparison to her) self. Somehow, and I think because of her hand, I manage to get to my feet. “Yaaayy…you did it Ms Deepa,” she smiles clapping her mittened hands. “Your brain just learned something new.” I was so overcome…I could barely whisper out a thank you. It’s a good thing tears don’t freeze on your face.

_____________________________________________________

I am observing two senior students completing their work, making a booklet on the parts of a volcano. They are talking about their struggles with the stapler. “This is a very challenging stapler,” says the younger one who is almost 6. “Yes, ' confirms the older one. "I tried 3 times and each time it staples the book backside front.” “You mean upside down?” asks his work partner. “No, the back is in the front,” demonstrates the 6 1/2 year old, removing the staples yet again. A moment of silence. I contemplate the staples strewn on the rug and when a pair of knees gets really close, I put out to the universe in a conversational tone, “Perhaps staples are best in a corner of the rug so no one steps on them. That could be quite painful.” Instantly the bait is taken as the younger one exclaims, “Ooohhh, I am going to move the staples to the corner of the rug. I don’t want to step on any staples. That would hurt super bad. “ The older one asks suddenly, “Ms. Deepa, do you remember long ago when xxx stapled his finger?” I nodded and said with a slight shudder, “Oh yes, I will never forget that.” More stapling and assembling goes on while the three of us are no doubt recalling a very dramatic moment almost 2 years ago when a child decided to figure out if he could attach a piece of paper to his finger so he could make a flag on his finger. “I wonder where xxx is now,” I muse about that novel experimenter. “I have not seen him for so long.” Says the older one, “Well I just saw him. He came to my house some days ago. We played for a long time. I shared my toys and puzzles with him.” “Oh, how nice! How is he? Which school does he go to now, do you know?” I ask. The gracious host tips his head a little to the side as he ponders my question for a moment and then, “Actually, Ms Deepa, I don’t think he is going to any school. I think he is working from home.”

___________________________  

 I open the door for the three year old one morning. “Good morning,” I say. “How are you on this cold day?” “Madeline can’t be in school today, Ms Deepa,” she states flatly. Her distress is clearly evident in her screwed up eyes and the frown over her mask. “Oh, my…” I say, playing for time while my mind races through the names of all her immediate relatives. I come up blank. I look mutely at her 5 year old brother just behind her. He just shrugs his shoulders and shakes his head. “Why can’t Madeline be at school today?” I ask. “She has to go to the doctor. She’s sick,” the 3 year old replies. “Oh, what part of her body is sick?” She points to her belly. “Stomach ache?” I ask. “No – appendix.” I do a double take. “Oh my…that sounds painful. What does that mean?” “Appendix is when it hurts and hurts and the doctor and the nurse has to do a surgery right here,” she says dramatically clutching her belly. “I see…so where is she now?” I ask. “She is in her bed, she’s in her room… the room is in her house.” I am still trying to figure out who this appendix stricken Madeline is and so I probe almost nonchalantly, “And where is her house?” “In the Madeline book.” ......GOT IT!

_________________________________________________

 It's a cloudy winter day and the snow is falling steadily. It's lunchtime in the Peacekeeper Sunflower Classroom. To the gentle and soft strains of a piano instrumental, the children are singing their "Thank you Song" before they begin their lunch. There is of course, always, always the one voice that rises above all others and they belt out the words as the others murmur them in their role of supporting vocals. Today the main vocalist is a 4 1/2 year old :

 We thank you, we do

We thank you we do

We thank you for your kindness

We thank you we do.

Thank you for the food WE MEET

Thank you for the friends WE EAT

Help us all to not forget quietness, kindness and respect

Thank you thank you this we say

Thank you for this lovely day!

 Then this person nods their head slightly at what they see as their adoring public and graciously says "Thank you. BONE appetit. Now you may eat." I decided I would correct the words on another day....best let them bask in their glory today!!

____________________________________________

It’s lunchtime on another day in the Peacekeeper Sunflower classroom, the lights have been turned off; the room is lit by only the bright sunlight streaming through the large windows; there’s soft music playing – today it is traditional Japanese instrumental music. The first few minutes have been filled with the sounds of opening lunch boxes, surveying what is in them and then as the children start eating, slowly but surely, conversations begin. I am working at the kitchen counter, writing down some observations and behind me, I hear a conversation between a 4 year old sitting (as required, about 6ft away) across from a garrulous 3 year old. “What’s that?” asks the 3 year old. The older child says, “It’s a cut-up egg.” “I don’t like cut-up eggs,” says the 3 year old. “You like them when they are not cut up?” asks the 4 year old. “I like them when they are dead so they can’t move,“ clarifies the younger one. “All eggs are dead, they are non-living,” comes the defining response. A moment’s silence then the older one says in an almost conversational tone, “Do you know some people eat frogs?” “What?!” exclaims the 3 year old. “FROGS? How can you even catch them?” “You have to wait till they are not moving and you can only eat them if they are bull-frogs. My mom says it tastes just like chicken.” The 3 year old has stood up in her astonishment, and is chewing on her sweet pepper, almost unaware of what she is doing. “What about moving penguins?” she asks. The 4 year old expert on nutrition doesn’t miss a beat, “You can’t eat moving penguins. And if you have to wait for them to stop moving, you can freeze.” The 3 year old contemplates this answer and concludes, “I like mangoes.”

_______________________________________________

I am observing a student  working on a matching work – where they match pictures of the whole fruit to pictures of the fruit cut-up. The 4 1/2-year old finishes the work and is returning the cards to the basket. They look up at me and state, “Ms Deepa, I cannot eat strawberries.” “Why not?” I ask. “I have a histamine for them.” “What does that mean?” I ask. “That means,” they explain, articulating each word clearly for an obviously ignorant adult, “That means if I have strawberries, I have to go to the Doctor’s office, they have to give me a poke, they have to put a band aid on it and then I get a Popsicle.”  “Oh,” I say, “so that’s not a problem, then. It can't be so bad. You are getting a Popsicle at the end, right?” There is a pause as they search for the right words to answer and then they say, “It’s not the most efficient way to get a Popsicle, Ms Deepa.”

[ears-awake-eyes-opened]

Now or never

(Hayffie ff ❤️. I initially shied away from this prompt because I didn’t think I could write it in a way that felt interesting. But I ended up having a great time with it, so much fun that this became one of my longest one-shots. — I make no apologies for the length of my posts in the feed or in the tags. I don’t apologize for any aspect of my free expression. For personal reasons, I write on my phone using the tumblr app, and the limitations are what they are. Like the limitations of my disabled body are what they are. For prompts, I reblog the prompt along with the link to my fic in case anyone wishes to reblog something shorter. — I write for myself, for my love of the characters and the process. When people comment on, like, or reblog my posts, I view those interactions as unexpected gifts. I have such love for writing that I’d do it old-school like Anne Frank, without any audience beyond my journal itself. This blog has been that for me for over 5 years, my space for coming of age and processing intensities in a strained and oppressive midlife. — I’m inspired now by prompts much more than I have been in past fanfiction efforts. So, thank you to everyone who offers them. And when people are willing to slog through my long fics and other posts, that is fabulous devotion to the characters/issues that are important to me, and I feel good to know I’m not caring alone. — 💛 Kim)

***

His facial hair was rough against her lips. The sensation triggered fantasy which played out more readily if she didn’t have to look at him. So she kissed him with her eyes closed whenever they fucked around. He was the same height as Haymitch. When she wore 5-inch heels, those added to the feeling of intimacy. It wasn’t entirely real, but it felt better than loneliness.

Their relationship was discrete, of course. Mutual discretion was a condition she established before getting involved with anyone, especially someone as high-profile as Seneca Crane.

As far as Capitol society was concerned, their connection was primarily professional, with occasional dinners at expensive restaurants. It was an image they’d been comfortable projecting, and it wasn’t far from the truth.

In moments that weren’t overly physical, she enjoyed his eyes. Blueish-grey with a streak of emotion, they were familiar enough to help her pretend. That’s why she’d first invited Seneca up to her apartment in the fall — to have sex with Haymitch in fantasy.

The sex was good enough. He was gifted with his hands, though he smelled too much like her. She wondered if he wore the same cologne as she did. And his body frame was smaller than the one she actually wanted intimacy with. By November, they’d become a regular *good enough* thing.

A dozen years earlier, they’d been schoolmates at the Academy. He graduated two years before her. She was softer then but already a force to reckon with. He was shorter in those days, sharp, obsessed with tech design. Ambition was an attribute they shared, perhaps the only one.

By 30, he’d become one of the youngest Head Gamemakers in history. He enjoyed the rush of adrenaline he experienced when executing the Games, and he relished the opportunity for artistry. The thrill and beauty he saw in death made Effie uncomfortable, but she viewed it as part of the job. He carried out the president’s wishes, though he confided in her that he didn’t fully agree with the way Snow ruled Panem.

On an evening in late December, they walked along a garden path covered in trellises draped with strands of fairy lights. Effie kept her hands warm in her pockets. It had been a long day, and she was ready to be home in bed, asleep, alone.

“What do you think about marriage?” he asked. The question was slightly more inspiring than if he’d asked her what she thought about the weather.

“I haven’t given it much thought,” she answered honestly, leaving out her occasional ludicrous fantasies about having babies with tiny purple wigs and predispositions for alcoholism.

“A union could be advantageous for both our careers. The publicity could improve your chances of promotion to escort for an inlying district.”

“And what do you stand to gain from a *union*?”

“You’re iconic, Effie. You represent the Capitol with style and positivity, and you execute your work flawlessly. You’re in good favor with the president. You could be a wonderful ally for me,” You could be a buffer for me, he didn’t say.

“Is there anything more?”

“Like what?”

“Really, Seneca, is THIS how you’re proposing??”

“Well, our families would support us. And there’s the matter of sentiment.”

“Sentiment?”

“I like you. I care for you, of course.”

She thought of Haymitch’s words from last summer, the night they almost... but didn’t.

‘I like you too much,’ he’d said, ‘I can’t fuck around with you and pretend it’s nothing. And that’s how it would have to be. That’s the only way it could be.”

Venia and Octavia insisted Haymitch loved her, but she believed that was still a pipe dream. She could keep waiting in vain, or she could choose a more sensible path.

“And there’s this...” From his coat pocket, Seneca pulled a black velvet box and flipped it open. Effie’s jaw dropped. The diamond was huge. It was far and away the loveliest ring she’d seen. She looked in those blueish-grey eyes that reminded her a bit of everything she wanted that wasn’t accessible to her.

Seneca pressed, “Say yes, and the wedding can be one of the biggest events of the year, rivaling even the Games.”

She imagined what her dress would look like. He was saying the right words to tempt her. They didn’t love each other, but maybe she could look past that inconvenient reality. Sometimes people married for other reasons.

“The press would go crazy,” he continued, “There would be red carpet interviews. We could invite everyone who’s anyone: stylists, victors, even Snow.”

Victors... Would he show up to watch me get married? 6 months ago, Haymitch had asked her what she wanted. He’d unzipped her dress and touched her body. He’d taken off his shirt and shown her his scars. Then he effectively told her a relationship between them was never going to happen, and he held her hand as she fell asleep.

Damn him.

She took her left hand out of her pocket. “Let’s see how it fits.”

Seneca had investigated her ring size, so the fit was perfect.

“Let’s show him,” she said.

“Show who?”

“Them. Let’s show them all.”

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes. Let’s get married. ...This spring.” She could plan a wedding in 5 months, no problem. Isn’t this the time couples usually cry and leap into one another’s arms? Shouldn’t this occasion call for a show of passion?

“This spring it shall be then.” When Seneca kissed her, she closed her eyes and embraced the same fantasy as usual.

***

Haymitch rarely received mail beyond his compensatory income from the government. In March, when the post delivered an envelope addressed to him in gold ink, he almost tossed the thing straight into the trash, recognizing it as an invitation to a Capitol party. Then he saw the name “Trinket” and the return address of Effie’s family home.

What’s this? He opened it right there on the porch with uneasiness gnawing at his stomach.

“You are cordially invited to celebrate the marriage of

Euphemia Rosalind Trinket -and-

Seneca Lucius Crane

Saturday, the first of May

At 3 O’Clock in the afternoon

Palazzo Annaeus”

What the hell is THIS! His stomach churned, and he vomited up a pint of white liquor on the ground beside the porch.

Memories flooded in... tracing up the seams of her stockings, unhooking her garters, feeling her body without a corset, running his fingers through her hair as she curled up in bed, so soft. So damn soft. Fear had screamed warnings about getting attached to her. Fear was always screaming.

When those Games were done, he’d left the Capitol with a strained sadness between them, like a rubber band stretched too long. Today it snapped and smacked him in the face. He felt the sting of annoyance and regret.

Damn her.

He couldn’t fix this. The only thing left to do was decide whether or not he was willing to watch it happen. He would have burned the invitation in the fireplace if not for the P.S. in her obnoxiously perfect handwriting.

***

Seneca had been right about one thing. Effie’s parents were thrilled that she’d decided to marry one of *the Crane boys,* especially the Head Gamemaker. Historically the Cranes had been part of the old guard of the wealthy from the Capitol, and they’d successfully diversified their financial interests in the years following the Dark Days.

Her parents spared no expense for *the wedding of the decade.* Effie spent the winter so caught up in the comfort of validation and the thrill of event planning that most of the time she evaded the sense of dread that nagged her when she startled awake in the mornings.

When she’d addressed the invitations, she considered adding a postscript to Haymitch’s, either “Fuck you” or “I love you.” Both feelings were nonsensical and nonetheless true. In the end she’d written,

“H — Please come. — E”

She checked the mail each day for his response card among hundreds, but it never showed up. Figures. He probably threw it away.

She didn’t need anyone to *rescue* her from the fate she’d chosen. If she wanted to call off the wedding, she’d simply come up with a logical explanation to save face; she’d apologize to Seneca and her parents; she’d put a stop to all plans, and that would be that.

The phrase “Mayday mayday mayday” was a distress signal used by Capitol troops during the Dark Days. She couldn’t shake the feeling that she’d subconsciously scheduled her wedding on the first of May because, apart from the fine details, opulence, and attention, her heart wasn’t in this.

***

“We’re here at Pallazo Annaeus,” Claudius reported from the red carpet which had been rolled out along the walkway to the galleria of the Crane family mansion. “Just a short time from now, fashion icon and District 12 escort, Effie Trinket, will wed two-time Head Gamemaker, Seneca Crane.”

“Isn’t this exciting!!” Caesar was in typical form. “The air is positively electric!”

“So much so that my hair is standing on end!”

“As is mine!! Thank goodness for hair products.”

“And wigs! We’re seeing all of the ABOVE as the guests arrive. What a crowd!”

Their interviews with attendees were concise, asking which stylists designed their gowns and suits, and if they had particular wishes to share with the couple.

“Now here comes... Is that?... It is! Haymitch Abernathy, victor of the second Quarter Quell.”

“How touching. One advisor for District 12 supporting the other on her special day.”

“I LOVE it!! Haymitch, do you have any words for the happy couple?”

Haymitch stomped past them without pause. He hadn’t entirely sobered up from the bottle of whiskey he drank on the train, and he didn’t even try to resist flipping Caesar off when asked the question.

“A man of few words,” Claudius covered for a shocked Caesar. “We never know what to expect from that one.”

“He certainly does keep us on our toes.”

“Well, it’s a good thing we have stylish shoes!”

“Indeed!” Each of them spun around on tiptoe, and the cameras zoomed in on their footwear as a distraction from Haymitch’s persistent middle finger.

Just beyond the entryway, the galleria was packed already. Guests were dressed in yards of fabric and large hats. Floral arrangements lined marble walls covered with paintings, some of which were probably older than Panem itself. Haymitch slipped into the first empty chair he spotted, ignoring the usher who asked him, “Are you here for the bride or the groom?”

The question pestered. The bride. Shit. I’m here for the bride.

***

With every detail attended to, Effie curled her fingers around her father’s arm in the vestibule. Flower girls and bridesmaids entered the galleria first, then it would be her turn.

“My princess is getting married in a palace.” Her father kissed her cheek.

“Daddy! Careful of my makeup. Photos aren’t being taken until afterward.”

“Of course. It’s YOUR perfect day.”

Effie had certainly made everything perfect, except for this unrelenting nausea and desire to run away. She forced herself to breathe slowly. The last thing she needed right now was to throw up, ruin her white gown, and have the press start a false rumor about pregnancy. She had no desire to have children with Seneca. She’d made that clear, and he agreed.

“Are you alright, sweetheart?”

Her father calling her “sweetheart” made every discomfort worse. Clearly she thought of Haymitch.

“I’m trying to be alright... but I don’t know,” she confessed.

Her father wasn’t sure what to say. “It’s almost time to walk down the aisle. Is that what you want to do?”

He asked it like she had a choice, but it was too late for choices.

“Let’s go pay the piper!” As Effie started down the aisle on her father’s arm, she didn’t notice the splendor and fullness of the room, nor the oohs and aahs from standing friends and family. She didn’t notice the rose petals on the floor, nor her fiancé sweating like a pig about to be roasted alive with an apple in its mouth.

All she saw was Haymitch.

He stood at the edge of the aisle, in the middle of the room. In the years that she’d known him, he’d been clear about his disdain for Capitol events, yet here he was, no RSVP and very much himself in his regular clothes from District 12. She’d probably be irritated if she hadn’t missed him so much. He was standing right here, and she was still missing him. It took every ounce of restraint to not tell him so.

“Great dress, sweetheart.” He offered a subdued smile as she passed.

She looked back at him once, and her eyes felt like old glass, holding tears too hardened to fall. Then there was nothing to do but look forward.

***

Fear was screaming different words now at Haymitch. Stop this. This wedding. Stop this!

As she walked away from him, he could see that her dress had an open back from her waist to the top of her shoulder blades. The gap was bordered in ornate jewels, stitching, and fancy shit. But he couldn’t take his eyes off her skin, and he couldn’t stop thinking about touching her.

She glanced at him again as she handed her bouquet to a bridesmaid. Her eyes were pleading. He knew the look because of all the times he’d tried to ignore her feelings for him ...and his feelings for her.

The officiant addressed the audience, “We are gathered here today to join Effie and Seneca in matrimony. Family, friends, and honored guests, do you support this union and affirm that these two should be married today?”

Haymitch looked around as the audience responded in unison, "We do."

I don’t.

The officiant continued, “Will you surround this couple in love, offering them the joys of your friendship? Will you support this couple in their relationship? At times of conflict will you offer them the strength of your wisest counsel and the comfort of your thoughtful concern? At times of joy, will you celebrate with them, nourishing their love for one another?”

The automatons responded together again, "We will.”

Like hell I will.

“If any of you has a reason why these two should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace."

Haymitch sighed and shook his head. Someday he’d be the death of her, or she’d be the death of him. Maybe today was that day.

This felt like now or never. The bit of whiskey still in his veins helped it be now. He stood up and moved quickly down the aisle to the sound of gasps and murmurs all around him.

***

“What are you doing?” Effie was stunned as he gripped her wrist.

“Excuse us,” Haymitch said directly to Seneca, then he pulled Effie out of the room down a long hallway.

She went willingly, chastising him in hushed tones along the way. “Haymitch! This is highly inappropriate!”

“More inappropriate than us having this conversation in front of the entire Capitol?”

“What conversation?”

He pulled her into a room down the hall.

“Not so tight!”

He loosened his grasp on her wrist but didn’t let go.

“What are you doing, Effie?”

“Do I need to state the obvious?”

“Marriage?? Why are you even WITH him?”

“I don’t owe you explanations — or anything else for that matter.”

She was right. She owed him nothing. His edge softened, and he stroked her wrist with his thumb. “Why are you marrying somebody you didn’t even look at as you walked down that aisle?”

“I LOOKED at him.”

“For about five seconds, and what did you see?”

She hesitated, “He’s wearing a tie, not an ascot. We had a dispute about it this week, and I insisted he wear the tie.”

“That’s what you’re thinking about on your wedding day when you see the man you’re about to marry — a goddamn tie?”

“Why are YOU giving ME the third degree! What are YOU thinking about on my wedding day?”

“I’m thinking about how much I hate Seneca Crane. I don’t want him marrying you. I don’t want you fucking him.”

“Well, that ship sailed! We’ve been having sex for months, not that it’s any of your business!”

“Not my business?”

“Absolutely not!”

He was burning with a mix of emotions: anger, jealousy, frustration, confusion, desire, fear. “If it’s not my business, then why did you ask me to ‘please come’ today? What am I doing here? ...If it’s not my business, then why did reading your wedding invitation make me puke. Why can’t I stop thinking about you? ...If it’s not my business, then why do I want to be the one to take this dress off you. I keep holding your wrist because if I let go, I’m gonna touch you, and what would your *fiancé* think about that? What would YOU think about that?”

He’d never confessed so much to her all at once, and she was in a mild state of shock about it. “Last summer you told me if we ‘fucked around’ then you’d have to pretend it means nothing. You told me you can’t pretend that, so where does that leave us?”

“I don’t know, honey.”

“I think you do. ...Let go of my wrist.”

“I told you what’s gonna happen if I let go.”

“Then let it happen.”

In a duality of reluctance and eagerness, he let go of her wrist and caressed her through the open back of her dress. She shivered and leaned into him. He wrapped his arms around her, touching every inch of skin he could reach.

The wig she wore resembled her actual hair color, light golden, like wheat before harvest. In this moment, she was an angel. He’d kiss her if she’d just shut up, but she had things to say too.

“If it’s not your business, then why am I still here with you instead of out there marrying Seneca?” Her tone softened. “Why do I close my eyes and picture you every time I kiss him and every time we have sex? ....If it’s not your business, then why do I miss you so much?”

“Jesus, Effie. What are you doing to me?”

“I don’t know, honey.”

“I think you do.”

***

From the doorway, Seneca cleared his throat. He’d been listening awhile. Effie tried to pull away from Haymitch, but first he had to untangle himself from the back of her dress.

“This isn’t quite what it looks like,” Effie laughed nervously.

“It looks like unfinished business,” Seneca said.

“Then it IS what it looks like,” Haymitch told him.

“Will you please excuse us?” Seneca asked, proper as fuck. “Effie and I have some things to discuss.”

“I’m not leaving.” Fear and desire for her wouldn’t budge.

“I’ll handle this,” she insisted. “Please wait in the hall.”

This was the Gamemaker’s house, his wedding, and his girl for god sake. What else could Haymitch do? Pull out his knife and slit the guy’s throat?? This was Effie’s world, not his. Without another word, he stepped out of the room, and he hated that she closed the door behind him.

Seneca confronted her, “I’ll say this quickly because our guests have already waited long enough. A marriage of convenience is prudent when the motivations for such a union are stronger than the desire for love. I’ve realized that’s not the case here. For me, and apparently not for you either.”

“Are you in love with someone else?”

“Someone my family regards as unsuitable. I’m sorry I didn’t speak about it sooner. I was afraid you wouldn’t understand.” He glanced at the door, “But I see that you do. Frankly, this interruption is an enormous relief.”

Effie was slightly miffed to realize that Seneca would not be pining for her, but the interruption did lift her feeling of dread. “I apologize as well. I haven’t been forthcoming with you, or with myself. What do we do now? The Capitol is expecting a wedding.”

“The Capitol is expecting a show, and they’re getting that. Let’s walk out there together and announce that we’ve decided to cancel the nuptials and move straight to the reception. It can still be the party of the year.”

“But my parents...”

“I’ll reimburse your father for his investment in this. It’s the right thing to do. I do care for you, Effie, but I should never have discussed marriage as a hypothetical, let alone proposed and let it get this far.”

He held out his hand. “Shall we? Before any more time passes.”

She threaded her fingers with his in solidarity.

When the door opened, Haymitch was still there in the hall, fuming now at the sight of them holding hands.

“Seneca, give me another minute,” she said.

He let go of her and took several steps away.

She touched Haymitch’s arm and spoke into his ear, “The wedding is off. But we need time to appease our families and everyone else. Meet me at 9 o’clock at The Popina on 6th St. Do you know the place?”

He’d never been there, but it was a good call. He doubted the press would look for him at a swanky wine bar. “I know the one.”

She whispered, “I said I don’t owe you anything, and you don’t owe me anything either. Regardless, this feeling between us isn’t going away.”

Seneca told him, “Keep following this hallway as it bends to the right. You’ll eventually reach a side door you can take out of here if you want...”

Haymitch didn’t trust him and didn’t want to leave.

“...Unless you’d prefer a walk back down the red carpet with the other guests.”

I don’t.

Effie urged him to go. “I need to set this right. Please don’t make this harder for me than it already is.”

“I don’t wanna run out in the middle of a pile of shit.”

“Language! This wedding is not a pile of anything. It’s an event we need to finish differently than expected. Will you trust me?”

“Fine.” He answered without conviction, turning away so he wouldn’t have to watch them link hands again. Holding the handle of the knife in his pocket, he followed the hallway to the side door and left all that nonsense behind him. Did he trust her?? If she walked into that bar tonight without a rock on her finger, then maybe he just might.

***

Afterward, the red carpet commentary indeed made for a more interesting show.

“The only thing more exciting than a wedding,” said Caesar, “Is a kiss at the altar between the bride and groom after they’ve CALLED OFF the ceremony!”

“You may now kiss the woman in white who is no longer your bride!”

“Oh, Claudius, you’re so cheeky!”

“I can honestly say I’ve never seen a couple more happy to be NOT married.”

“Did somebody bring the sun INSIDE the palace? Because they were positively glowing.”

“The reception is still on, and did you hear their words about it?”

“Caesar, I was on the edge of my seat, and I couldn’t miss them, but say them again.”

“Seneca began, ‘May 1st, May Day, is not just one of folktales. Mayday was a cry of distress during war, terrible war. The Capitol responded and transformed that distress into peace.’

“Then...”

“Then Effie continued, ‘Instead of celebrating a wedding, we’ve decided to transform the reception we’d planned into a festival honoring the glory of the Capitol. Panem today, Panem tomorrow, Panem forever.’”

“Don’t you just love that?”

“I DO! I absolutely do!”

“Well, that’s the only ‘I do’ that we’ll be hearing this afternoon!”

Hysterical laughter ensued between the two.

“Claudius, the question on everyone’s mind revolves around the influence of a certain mentor from District 12.”

“Yes. Haymitch Abernathy interrupted the ceremony.”

“He pulled Effie away, and Seneca followed. When the couple returned hand-in-hand, they called off the wedding. The mystery is, what happened in between?”

“As you said earlier, we never know what to expect from Haymitch. That one is a wildcard.”

“We’ve been waiting for him to emerge from the palace so we can ask him, but as we noted before, he is a man of few words.”

“Maybe we’ll catch him at the reception.”

“The festival!”

“The festival, of course!”

***

By 10 o’clock, Haymitch had read the sign on the wall a hundred times. “Hedone says, ‘You can drink here for one; if you give two, you will drink better; if you give four, you will drink Falernian.”

‘Hedone’ he recognized as the Roman goddess of pleasure. He thought pleasure would be a fine devotion if it wasn’t pursued at the cost of other people’s lives or pursued to chase away demons. He was already chasing one bottle of Falernian with another. “Damn Capitol wine doesn’t get you drunk unless you chug two bottles. And this is the best they’ve got?”

He’d been there a couple of hours. During that time, his attention was divided between that sign reflecting on hedonism and the screen showing footage of Effie’s non-wedding reception.

They were *saving face* alright. Haymitch had rarely seen Effie kiss anyone, and tonight he’d watched her kiss her *former* fiancé every time someone clinked a glass. The kisses were pecks mostly, a game they were probably playing to host a fun party and show the Capitol there were no hard feelings between them. But as the kisses added up, Haymitch’s dislike for Seneca Crane became more palpable.

“Slide a bit,” she said, showing up beside him. She was hiding in a simple dress and a light layer of makeup. Her hair was pulled back beneath a scarf instead of a wig.

He scooted over, making room for her at his booth in back. “You’re late, sweetheart. Did Crane kiss all that makeup off your face?”

“And you’re drunk.” She caressed the back of his neck, content to be with him right now, drunk or not.

“Wasn’t drunk an hour ago after the first bottle of this Falernian shit. But the more you drink, the better it tastes.”

She drank from his glass, and he didn’t object. From his perspective right now, she could drink straight from his mouth or off his body.

He encircled her waist, pulling her as close as the setting allowed. He was relieved to see that she wasn’t married. His inhibitions were reduced, so she could do just about anything to him right now, and he wouldn’t object. He tried not to think about her having that kind of power.

She stroked his arm wrapped around her. “There’s a rumor circulating about you.”

“Oh yeah? What is it?” He kissed her neck after each question. “Do they think I’m fucking you?”

She giggled because the hair on his face tickled her skin and because she was anticipating his response. “Not quite, honey.”

“What then?”

“They think you’re fucking Seneca.”

“What the hell?!!”

“Caesar and Claudius predicted ‘the mentor from District 12 is having a torrid affair with the Head Gamemaker,’ and you pulled me away from the wedding in the hopes of taking my place at the altar.”

“They’re lunatics.”

“It’s a risky move breaking up a wedding. Who knows what people will say.”

“What do YOU say?”

“I say you look at my breasts far too often for you to be interested in Seneca Crane,” she chuckled.

“And what do you say about me breaking up your wedding?”

As she looked into his eyes, there was no approximation, no almost. It was a relief to not have to *pretend* that he was the one she wanted, but to just KNOW it. “I say, thank you. ...Sweetheart.”

What fantasies and real desires would be accessible with him? She’d know more in time.

[iggy-of-fans]

Of Being a Ladybug 14

PREVIOUS     MASTER POST

Notes! @afewnovelideas you will find out about Jason in this! As for Barbara, I like her Oracle line the best, but frankly, a lot has happened, and she won’t be a huge factor in this story until way down the road.

@vixen-uchiha yes… I have. I am all caught up on Season 3 (finally) but I actively reject pretty much everything after Chameleon (which is when I started planning and outlining this story). I did take certain factors into this though, such as Marinette’s expulsion from school and Lila working with Gabriel. I just… am not restarting the Order quite yet.

This is not a heavy salt fic because these are naïve kids. Alya is just clueless and in denial, but not a bad person.

SEND ME ASKS!!!

The Cons of not knowing

(- - )

Tim stared at the screen in disbelief. Bruce sighed tiredly, wiping his hand down his face. He looked tired; Tim noted absentmindedly. Bags under his eyes indicating he hadn’t slept at all the night before. Dirt under his fingernails showing he’d gone to help in the city graveyards.

“An Akuma… Holy…” Tim couldn’t even think straight right now. Tim’s whole world was spinning off its axel. An Akuma. Joker was an Akuma all along. Who made him? Why? What were they thinking? What was the plan? And most importantly, were there others?

“He’s in Gotham General. He gets flashes sometimes, but he has no idea what is going on. Nothing makes sense to him. He’s asking about his mother and girlfriend, both deceased. He’s asking about Thomas Wayne” Bruce shakes his head. The world was going wonky.

“I… I can’t even make sense of this. How… what…?” Tim was beyond words right now. The Miracles didn’t have a lot of knowledge or understanding about the Miraculi. They knew how to use their powers and how to take down Akuma, but they were not detectives and they were not natural fighters. If anything, most of them were pacifists. But when he asked them and their kwami about the TWENTY-YEAR OLD AKUMA in Gotham, everybody just blinked.

“I’m going to see if Marinette has any insight. I’ll send Miss Seely back when she wakes up.”

The screen went blank and Tim just sat there. An Akuma… The implications…JASON!

He quickly fumbled his phone out in front of him and called Jason’s number. Nothing. He kept trying another three times before he remembered Cass was with him.

“Tim?”

“WHERE IS JASON?” He shouted. No, he didn’t normally get along well with Jason, but this…

“He is in the hospital. He got caught by the Horse Miraculous and was put into a windowless, doorless enclosure deep underground. He passed out from lack of oxygen before Constantine could get him out. What is wrong?”

“Are you at the hospital now? I need you to go to him immediately!”

“Why is this so urgent, Timothy?”

“BECAUSE JOKER WAS AN AKUMA!!!!”

There was a pause on the other end.

“Shit! I’ll call you back.”

Tim stared at his phone. Nothing for it now but to wait. He texted Dick. And tapped his foot impatiently while he waited. He stood up to pace. After a few runs of his apartment he checked his phone. A minute had passed. He texted Bruce about Jason. He continued pace. He’d never been very patient.

<(**)>

Marinette was sitting at the mega computer in the cave, staring listlessly at the screen, even as she typed another search into the bar. Bruce had received a text after the bombshell she had dropped and gone very pale. He’d run off to who-knows-where. Marinette had eaten breakfast and dragged her sore body down to the cave. She was no detective, but she could maybe write out what she knew, and hope Bruce could make sense of it all later.

According to my Miraculous tutor, the Miraculi are jewels that were created by a mage thousands of years ago, allowing the Gods of complex and abstract ideas, concepts or emotions to be combined with them and their powers harnessed. Created with the sole purpose of helping humanity, the Kwami were happy to serve, but eventually decided that there should be a way of controlling who received a Miraculous. And so, the Order of the Guardians came to be and then just as quickly destroyed. After the destruction of the Temple, the codex of information and two of the inner circle Miraculi were lost. Originally, Master Fu and I had thought that Hawkmoth had corrupted Nooroo, that Dusuu was likely broken in the collapse of the temple. However, with the new knowledge of Joker having been Akumatized for twenty years, it leads me to believe that either Nooroo was compromised before this or was desperately sending butterflies out in hopes of being found.

The Kwami can use their powers on their own, but the results are normally chaotic, as humans have been their main way of channelling them for so long. Some examples of failed attempts for Kwami to use their powers include the extinction of the dinosaurs, the fall of Atlantis, the leaning of the tower of Pisa, the plague and the Lazarus Pits. Many of these happened when Kwami were unbound.

“Marinette?” she turned to see Marlene walking towards her.

“How are you feeling?” she asked, closing the screen and turning around.

“Like I got hit by truck… thank you for your help last night. Tikki says that if you hadn’t offered your energy to me, the cure would have kept draining me until all the life had been drained from every single cell in my body. It’s the price I pay for not being a proper match…” Marlene was looking off into the cave, rubbing her neck.

“What do mean sucking your life force out?!”

“Let me explain,” Tikki popped out of Marlene’s jacket, “She means that, because she and I aren’t really compatible at all, that every time she uses the cure, it drains a little bit of life energy out of her.”

“WHAT?!” Marinette started to hyperventilate. Being Ladybug was LITERALLY KILLING MARLENE!

“It’s okay, normally the cure doesn’t need much, since it uses the magic of the Akuma to reverse the damage. At most, Marlene is loosing a few minutes every time she casts. If you hadn’t stepped in last night, then yeah, she would have died or lost quite a few years off her life it had been anyone else stepping in, but because it was you, you were able to take the strain completely onto yourself. You haven’t gone through the training, and neither did Master Fu, for all his good intentions. Marlene is a good person and a good TEMPORARY holder, but YOU are the best person to wield me and get the best results. Chat was a bad match, followed by, who should have been a good match but is corrupted. YOU are the only one who can stop this Marinette.”

“I can’t leave right now…”

“When the time is right, you will know. We all will.”

Tikki disappeared back to her pocket and Marlene stood there completely perplexed.

“Ah, Miss Seely. Time to be heading back to Paris. There is a Zeta Tube not far from here, and I will be happy to escort you there myself” Alfred offered, nodding to Marinette.

{ J }

In a hospital in Cologne Germany, Jason Todd slowly regained consciousness. He couldn’t really remember what happened, but looking around, he realized he was in a hospital bed. What the hell?

“Jason! You’re awake! Thank goodness” a girl with blue almond-shaped eyes and black hair came running into the room.

“Who the hell are you?”

TAG LIST IS FULL!

@maya-custodios-dionach @dur55 @driftingmoonlitpetals @kill-the-purses @annabellabrookes @a-marlene-s @queenmj10 @loveswifi @elmokingkong @aestheticnpoetic @animalgirl05 @northernbluetongue @lilacandcream @yin-390​ @silvergold-swirl @reyna-avila-ramirez-alreanaldo @goblinwhoships @weird-pale-blonde-person @moonlightstar64 @krispydefendorpolice @kuroko26 @ladylupa @jardimazul @welcometopradasa @thatrandomfandomgirl @imanerddealwith @sidd-hit-my-butt-ham @loysydark @nataladriana9 @thequeenofpotatoeunicornss @sassakitty @enchanted-nerd @maya-custodios-dinoch @a-marlene-s @whomthefyck @myazael @blackrosee3​ @dahjokester @lntimancy @vixen-uchiha @juhave @dorkus-minimus @captainartsypants @darknightchan @dagnysdawn @marinettepotterandplagg

[jeranasblog]

Starker Kink Advent Calendar - Day 3

Summary: Peter marries Tony because he wants to keep working. Tony marries Peter because he doesn’t want the boy’s brilliance to go to waste. Neither one of them expects an overwhelming attraction to unfold between them. Feelings, insecurities, and doubts tangle together until they find themselves inextricably linked. And what happens when a surprise turns everything upside down?

24 days, 24 chapters, 24 kinks

Pairing:  Peter Parker/Tony Stark

Rating: E

Notes:  Hey guys. I’ve decided to write a “Starker Kink Advent Calendar” this year, so 24 chapters with 24 different kinks. Enjoy <3

Warnings: Check all the sex tags on Ao3

Read on Ao3

~⭐~

Day 3 - Size Kink @venomondenim​

The week with Tony had been heaven. They had spent their days together in bed, only leaving when they really had to or when they wanted to go to the lab together. Peter didn’t remember ever being so carefree, and with each passing day, the insecurities were pushed further and further into the back of his mind. 

 Tony was amazing. He was kind and funny, listening to what Peter had to say and he didn’t belittle him once like all the other Alphas did when Peter joined a discussion. Tony didn’t think Omegas belonged into the bed or the kitchen, and Peter couldn’t be more grateful his husband had picked him. 

 The only thing that started to annoy Peter was Tony’s unwavering patience to wait for Peter’s sake. It had been cute in the beginning. His Alpha didn’t pressure him. He gave him time to get used to it but soon, Peter was losing patience himself.

 It had started with making out and a few fingers inside his hole, but each time they fooled around- and they fooled around a lot- Peter got greedier. He was ready for it. Tony had given him four fingers by now, and Peter had sobbed in pleasure while he was riding them. He was ready. He wanted to be claimed. He wanted to be owned. 

 Unfortunately, Tony had the patience of a saint. 

 “Please, Alpha. Fuck me,” Peter had begged yesterday while his hole milked the fingers greedily. “I need it so bad, need your knot.”

 But Tony had only cooed and soothed him by stroking his back. “Baby, I’m huge. You need to get used to this. I don’t want to pressure you.”

 So Peter was left behind, satisfied by the three orgasms he had gotten in the morning, but still moping because he didn’t get his Alpha’s cock yet. If he wanted to get fucked more than once before the week was over, he had to step up his game. 

His plan was easy. Tony’s control was already running thin. There was just one last step necessary to push him over the edge, and Peter knew exactly what the Alpha was weak for. 

 When Tony’s employees had brought Peter’s things over a day before their marriage, they had also packed Peter’s entire clothes. They weren’t put away into the closet yet because Peter had been busy fooling around with his husband, but the boxes were still somewhere in their dressing room. Peter just had to find what he was looking for.

 Thankfully, the clothes were sorted and the boxes labeled, so it took Peter less than a minute to find his favorite skirt, white and far too short, as well as a pair of white panties and a short crop top. He paid attention that his mating mark was in plain view before he started the mission.

 Tony was a possessive Alpha, Peter knew that already, even though the billionaire tried to hide the side of him. It was endearing. Peter could see that Tony’s gaze lingered on every mark he left on Peter’s body and that the Alpha lost it when he saw the proof of their bond. And Peter had every intention to use the knowledge against his husband. 

 When Peter approached Tony, the man was sitting in the living room.

 “Alpha?” Peter’s voice was dripping with innocence and he could watch in delight how his Alpha’s eyes got wider as he took in Peter’s appearance. “Alpha, I need your help. I finally wanna feel you.”

 Tony was hesitating, still fighting against his attraction, so Peter decided to step up the game for one last time. 

 “I wanna be yours, Alpha. Wanna be claimed completely. Please, I need you so badly. Please, take me.”

 Just as Peter had thought, his words were the last straw. He couldn’t even blink before Tony was at his side, pulling him against the Alpha’s chest. Peter could already feel hands on his ass, kneading his cheeks and pulling them apart. That’s what he wanted, his Alpha losing control. 

 “Let me take you to bed, sweet thing,” Tony growled into his ear while he already pushed him towards the bedroom door. “I wanna fuck you properly, Omega. Wanna take your virginity in our bed.”

 Peter purred in pleasure, and he allowed his husband to guide him wherever Tony wanted. He was far too aroused to worry about pain. The only thing that mattered was his husband's cock finally inside of him. 

 They barely made it to the bed. Peter already lost his panties in the hallway, his slick running down his thighs, and Tony’s shirt disappeared as they entered the room. They couldn’t get to it fast enough, clawing at each other’s clothing, and Peter could swear he had heard his top ripping at one point. 

 The first time Peter paused was when Tony actually opened his pants. Peter laid on his back, propped on his elbows while he wore nothing but the white shirt that had ridden up dangerously high. He watched every move of his husband in anticipation, his thighs shaking as he heard the sound of the opening zipper. 

 The sight made him anxious and excited at the same time. Tony hadn't exaggerated. He was huge. Peter could feel his mouth watering as he saw the thick cock, red and angry, already leaking at the tip, but there was a hint of fear as well. What if he wouldn’t fit?

 Tony noticed his worry. “We don’t have to do it today, baby. I can wait for you.”

 No! Peter was sick of waiting. 

 “I can do it, Alpha. I need you now. I feel so empty.” 

 The words made Tony growl. He got rid of his pants before he pressed Peter into the mattress, spreading the Omega’s legs and rubbing against him. 

 “You’re such a tease, baby. Such a temptation. Spread your legs a little more, baby. Show me where you need me.”

 Peter whimpered and obeyed, spreading his legs until his thighs were straining and the Alpha had a good view of his leaking hole. There was slick everywhere, trying to coax Tony into giving Peter what his body needed.

 “God, you’re wet, baby,” Tony said while his hand wandered between Peter’s legs to play with the edge of his rim. “Dripping like you’re dying for it. Tell me how bad you need me, Omega.”

 Peter tried to answer, he really did, but while he was speaking, Tony had thrust two of his fingers inside Peter’s hole and the Omega couldn’t focus anymore. The stretch wasn’t much, they had fooled around a lot the last few days, but it was already enough to make Peter stupid with pleasure. He immediately started to ride them, begging wordlessly for more while he wrapped his arms around his husband’s neck. 

 “Just like that, baby,” Tony cooed while he added two more fingers, giving Peter exactly what he craved. “Show me how open you are for me. Show me how much you needed my knot.”

 Whimper after whimper slipped from Peter’s lips, pitiful noises that were meant to convince Tony to finally give him what he needed. But even though Peter could see raw hunger in his Alpha’s eyes, he was still patient, still focused on preparing him. 

 When Peter couldn’t stand it anymore, he started to sob. “Please, Alpha. Fuck me. Need you. Please.”

 Maybe it was because of the tears, maybe because Tony couldn’t wait anymore himself, but he finally listened to the Omega’s pleas and pulled out his fingers. Being empty almost hurt, but Peter knew it would only get better. He could feel his Alpha above him, could feel the strong arms pinning him onto the mattress while the tip of his Alpha’s cock nudged against his dripping hole. He was ready. 

 Tony pressed in carefully. Every inch was a struggle, a mixture of pushing in and pulling back. Peter should have been more afraid. He should have asked his Alpha to pull out and stretch him even more because every inch sent a wave of pain through his body but instead, Peter basked in the feeling of being filled so thoroughly. 

 His body was struggling, his hole was aching and straining, but his mind was quiet, savoring every inch that was forced into his body. Peter had never felt better before, completely lost in the moment, in his Alpha around him and the pulsing length that claimed every little part of him. 

 “Are you okay, baby?” Tony asked concerned, forcing himself to stop, but Peter couldn’t take that. His Alpha didn’t understand that he needed him to move, needed more of the stretch, more of the beautiful cock. 

 “Ngh- so good, Alpha. Gimme more.” His words were slurred, barely understandable at all, but they were enough to make the Alpha lose his fears. 

 Peter could feel the shift, could feel the thrusts getting harder and quicker until Tony finally bottomed out. 

 “I can’t believe you’re a little size queen, baby.” 

 Tony didn’t stop his movements once, driving into Peter, even though he had been a virgin seconds ago, even though the stretch should have been too much. Peter craved it. He tried to meet the thrusts, tried to signal his Alpha that he wanted it like this, needed it like this, but every drag against his walls made it harder to move. Tony had fucked it out of him.

 “Look at you. Such a greedy whore. I haven’t expected you’d take me so easily, baby. I thought I’d have to prep you more for my cock. But look at how you take me. Peter, your sweet little pussy must be burning, but you don’t even care, do you?”

 Peter could only whimper in response. He did care. The burn made everything only better, only more intense. 

 “Love it, Alpha.”

 Tony chuckled. “Oh, I know, sweet thing. You’re gagging for it. Such a cock hungry whore. I’d have stuffed you days ago if I’d known you need it that badly.”

 Peter didn’t even know what he should concentrate on. Tony’s dirty words that set his body on fire, the delicious friction against his sweet spot or the burning stretch. He had never felt so much at the same time, and he already knew it would be over quickly. 

 Tony sped up his thrusts, fucking into Peter as if they had done it for years, as if this wasn’t Peter’s first time. The Omega loved it, savored the burn, almost disappointed when it lessened after a while. He had never imagined that sex could feel so good. 

 “Gonna come soon, sweet thing. Gonna claim you. Do you need my hand on your pretty little cock?”

 Peter could already feel the wave, only a second away from jumping over the edge. He needed nothing but his Alpha’s cock.

 “Just harder, Alpha. Fuck me, please.”

 Tony growled as he thrust even harder, even faster. Peter’s body spasmed, pressing into every touch while he chased his own orgasm.

 When Peter finally came, he took Tony over the edge as well. His hole was like a tight grip around the Alpha’s cock, milking it and begging for every drop while his own length dripped with his Omega come. Peter’s vision was dancing, everything blurring together but the thick cock that was spreading him open. 

 Tony’s come was hot inside him, splashing against his walls and marking him up. It was the final claim, and Peter could feel his inner Omega relaxing, finally properly claimed. 

 “Such a good Omega. Mine forever. My husband.” Peter basked in Tony’s words, closing his own eyes and giving himself to his Alpha. Tony would take care of him. Tony would clean him and move him, so they could nap for a while. 

Maybe their marriage could work. Peter was still afraid of fucking it up, still afraid of disappointing his Alpha, but if he worked on himself every day, maybe he could be enough for Tony Stark. 

[serzhantkris]

Rebel Yell- 3

Summary: Let’s get something straight: he does not love you. He knows that for sure, because he doesn’t want to scream at you and he doesn’t want to get married, and that’s the only things he knows for sure about people who are in love. And he was doomed to kiss with his fists and scream and be angry and blame everyone but himself for the rest of his life. So, no. Billy did not love you. Billy Hargrove x Hopper!Reader

Word Count: 2244

Masterlist

“So then she said that I was bullshit, ‘cause I was pretending everything’s okay.”

Steve crumbled up the wrapper, still chewing through the words, and tossed it over his shoulder. It landed unceremoniously in the back seat of the BMW, along with the other junk food he’d been scarfing down for the past two weeks.

“Exactly how many times did she say ‘bullshit?’” You reach for your drink in the center console, frowning at Steve from the passenger seat. He shrugs.

“I dunno, like six. Everything was just… Bullshit, I guess.” He doesn’t look away from the carton of french fries sitting in his lap. “Hops, did- did we-” Steve pauses, looking out the dirty windshield at the school sitting below, “She said, we killed Barb.”

Other students mulled about the lot, eating their lunches and gossiping about who’s dating who, who wore what. Some of them studied for SATs and worried if they’d be invited to parties that weekend. You caught some familiar faces- Tina, twirling her hair around her finger while she flirted with Ram Sweeney; Heather, sitting on the trunk of Vicky Larson’s car. Tommy and Carol, practically swallowing each other’s tongues. 

None of them had any clue what had almost happened to them a year ago. What had happened to you and to Steve and countless others. To Barbara Holland.

“I think,” the words come slow, like you’re trying to believe them before you let Steve hear. “None of us could have known what was going to happen to her.”

“Yeah,” Steve clears his throat. “Yeah, but we- we did leave her there. You know? We left her outside, alone.”

Suddenly, Steve’s fries and the hamburger in your lap smells rotten. “We didn’t know.”

That was all you could say. And if it convinced Steve or you or Nancy that what happened wasn’t your fault, that would have been enough. But it didn’t, and it wasn’t.

“Maybe she’s right. Maybe I am bullshit.”

You tore your eyes from your reflection in the car window. “I don’t think that’s true.”

Steve chuckles under his breath, leaning his head back in the seat. The low sound of the radio fills in the quiet, both of you lost in thought for a long moment. 

Finally, you say, “I think you should talk to her.”

“Think she’ll listen?”

“I think she regrets what happened. I think the worst that can happen is the two of you decide you need some space. Maybe talking to her about Barbara, and admitting that you were wrong to ignore her feelings on the subject will benefit both of you.” 

Steve nods, chewing worriedly on the inside of his cheek. “I should buy flowers.”

The spray of water hit him right in the face, stinging his skin from the pressure and intense heat. It ran down his throat and over the back of his head, sticking his hair to his face and neck as he scrubbed at his scalp with his fingertips. Eyes closed, he listened to the sounds of the others as they moved toward the showers.

Running a hand over his face, flicking the soap to the tiles under his feet, Billy blinked at the harsh orange walls around him. Pinching his nose, he cast a sideways look at the boy on his left.

“Don’t sweat it, Harrington,” he said. “Today’s just not your day, man.”

He pushed the handle on the shower that he, Steve, and Tommy were circled around, cutting off the water on his showerhead. Reaching for a towel, he pressed it against his face.

“Yeah, not your week,” Tommy added, looking around the shower to Steve. “You and the princess break up- you think she’s run off with the freak’s brother yet?”

Steve shot Tommy a harsh look, but the other boy’s grin just grew. Billy eyed Tommy, opening the towel in his hands as Tommy turned off his own water spout and moved toward the wall of towels.

“Don’t take it too hard, man,” Billy said, watching Steve push soap through his mess of hair. “Pretty boy’s like you’s got nothin’ to worry about. Plenty of bitches in the sea.”

“Guess that leaves some room for Hopper,” Tommy ruffled the towel through his hair. “Why have the princess when you could have the queen?”

Billy’s grip on the towel tightened as he wrapped it around his waist. If Billy had learned anything from hanging out with the freckled boy, it was that he was the exact person to go to for details about the girls at the high school.

“What’s her deal, anyway?” Billy rubbed at his nose, tilting his head back to look at Tommy. “She got a boy-toy or is she just a huge fuckin’ tease?”

Steve clenches his jaw, watching soap run down the drain. “Neither,” he snaps. Tommy just laughs, leaning against the wall with the towel wrapped around him.

“Not from what I remember,” Tommy says. “You remember last year, she ran out on Kurt Kelley when he tried to put it in her-”

“Don’t talk about her like that.” Steve’s hand smacked the spout, cutting off the water abruptly. “And you know she didn’t do shit with Kurt Kelley.”

Billy’s nostrils flared, tongue between his teeth as he watched Steve grab up a towel and storm to the other side of the lockers, leaving Tommy laughing and Billy intrigued in his wake.

Billy had claimed the corner of your smoking spot for his own. Always tucked where no one could see him from the window, he puffed on cigarettes and always flashed you a sideways smile when you snuck out the door. He shared his lighter, sometimes his smokes, and you returned the favor. It wasn’t quite a friendship, but it was a comradery. The two of you didn’t speak much, if at all, and never paid much attention to each other once the door closed and you were back in the fluorescent halls.

It didn’t take words, or even attention. In that little nook by the dumpster, no one could see. Billy didn’t go out of his way to try and win you over like the Halloween party. He didn’t need to be tough or flirtatious. He could just lean against the brick wall, you standing beside him, and blow smoke into the air. The silence was comfortable, and even though you didn’t know much about Billy, it was as though you’d known him for a long time.

The game you had unwittingly started with Billy had started to seep into your everyday life. Less than a month of knowing the guy, you were already enamoured. Not in the same way that Tina or Heather or any of the other girls were; sure, he was attractive. Almost insultingly so. He had the bad boy look- the bad boy everything. The Sammy Hagar hair, the leather jacket and button up shirts, the sparkling blue eyes- alright. So yeah, he was hot and definitely a hot mess just dying to happen.

But through the flirting, the crooked grins and the attitude, there was something in Billy Hargrove that was screaming. Something that made you want to joke, to tease and make him laugh. Under it all, he was sad. Maybe just as sad as you were. And like a magnet, it’s starting to pull you in.

There was no sun here, the cubby masked in shade, and even without the wind it made your fingers numb as you dug in your pocket for a cigarette. You glanced around the small space and couldn’t stop the disappointment from slouching your shoulders.

“You lookin’ for somebody?”

The sun reflected off the roof of the building as you squinted up, shielding your eyes to find him. Billy’s collar was turned up against the cold, cigarette in undoubtedly cold fingers. His arm hung lazily off of his knee, flicking the ashes over the side of the dumpster he was sitting on. The other leg hung off the side, swinging absently just a few feet from you.

“What are you doing up there?”

Billy raised the cigarette. “Smoking.”

Sticking the cigarette in your teeth, you approached the dumpster and grabbed the edge, hoisting yourself up by him. Your boots slid against the side of the dumpster, proving it to be a more difficult task than expected. Billy chuckled under his breath, sticking his own cigarette in his mouth and offering you his hands. He pulled you up, barely straining a muscle as your rear end hit the lid beside him.

With no walls to protect you, you pulled your hood up over your head. Your hair and face peeked out the front, cheeks turning red quickly. You fumbled for your lighter as Billy puffed on his cigarette.

“Here.” He turned toward you, leaning closer with a hand cupped around the butt. You followed suit, the end of your cigarette touching his as you inhaled. The smoke filled your lungs and you sat back, trying to ignore the warmth of his shoulder and thigh that were touching yours.

“Thanks.”

The two of you sat in silence for a long moment, flicking ashes below and blowing smoke toward the sky. “Who’s Kurt?”

“What?”

“Kurt Kelley,” he clarified, taking a long drag from his cigarette. “Heard a rumor about you and him today.”

You peer at Billy, pushing your hood back just enough to get a good look at him. He’s staring ahead, the blue of his eyes focused on the roof. The fog in front of his lips comes from the cold, not the cigarette smoldering in his hand. “He graduated last year.”

Smoke billows out of Billy’s nose. “And?”

“And,” you repeat, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth. “That depends what version of the story you heard.”

Billy chuckles under his breath. “How ‘bout the truth?”

The November wind drags Billy’s hair over his cheek. He makes no effort to brush it away, letting it stick to his chapped lips. He jabs the cigarette on the metal, letting it sizzle out.

“The truth is, Kurt Kelley is a liar,” you sigh. “Why do you care, anyway?”

Billy’s lips twitch into a smirk. “Here I thought we were friends.”

“You don’t even know me,” you tell him. 

“I know you like Joan Jett.”

“That was a dead giveaway.”

He turns his head, finally looking at you. The sun lights up half his face, the side that’s turned toward you, and you can make out every detail. He’s a Renaissance painting, made of winter blues and summer tans, and every flaw is lit up in a November halo.

“Maybe I wanna know you,” Billy says.

For the first time, you feel intimidated by him. “How’s that?”

He kisses you, and it’s warm and sweet and tastes like oranges; he’s a spot of summer, warm on your lips and the fingers that come to touch your face feel like fire. He’s hot and you’re freezing, leaning into his touch like it will save you from turning to ice. There’s an underlying taste of ash and wintergreen gum, and when he pulls away and licks his lips, you wonder if he tastes all of it too.

Your cheeks are flushed, pink crawling up over your nose. Your lips are pouted, starting to chap from the cold, but they’re still warm when he leans back, and now he’s looking at you like you’re the painting. 

“How very.”

His laugh is genuine- not at all the wolfish cackle you’d heard every time before, but a burst of sunlight coming from deep in his chest. His tongue gets caught between his teeth, and somewhere faraway, you can hear bells. School bells. Below, a rush of voices pass the door that led you to the dumpster, and to Billy.

“We’re late,” you whisper, indifferent. Billy just nods, not even blinking. 

He stands, adjusting his jeans before he grabs the edge of the dumpster and swings himself down. You scoot after him, legs hanging over, peering down. It’s not a far drop, but Billy stands there anyway, hand up to help you down. You land between him and the green metal, Billy looking down at you like he might kiss you again.

“Go out with me tonight,” he says. Billy’s teeth scrape his bottom lip, drawing it into what might be construed as a hopeful expression. “Let me know you.”

“That’s the most forward thing you’ve ever said to me.” You inhale, the air crisp and cold in your lungs. “Is this because of Kurt? ‘Cause you think I’ll sleep with you?”

Billy snorts, stuffing his hands in his pockets and taking a step back. He should have been offended, and normally, he’d at least pretend to be. But your question had not been accusatory- only curious, and honestly, he didn’t think you would in a million years. 

“I don’t care about what you did or didn’t do,” he shrugs. “And if you tell me to leave you alone and go fuck myself, I’ll leave you alone and go fuck myself.”

It’s a terrible, horrible, no-good idea. Saying yes to Billy was to invite the wolf inside, to open the door that you had left closed for a long, long time. He’d already taken a bite of Tina and Heather and Vicky and-- all those girls, left for scraps. Begging for another taste of Billy Hargrove. If he huffed and puffed, maybe you’d be left wanting more, too.

“Yeah. Okay, yeah.”

Taglist Open

@william-hargroves​​ @killer-queen-xo​​ @sallyp-53​​ @cloverrover​​ @scud994​​ @nighttwingg​​ @yaidothat​​ @abiwebb12​​ @camillewester​ @vespertxne​ @potatoheadthewise​

[tastingmellow]

Wretched In The Depths

A/N: So, I decided I wanted to try something new. This is gonna deviate from my usual fluffy fics. It’s still an Au but I was thinking maybe having it be a part of a horror universe. Yes, I am considering making a Horror AU series for all your favorite MCU babies and so on. I’m personally a huge fan of horror but I know others aren’t so I’m not gonna be using my usual tag lists. With that being if you would like to be tagged in my horror au then just comment under this and I will gladly add you. Another note, I will still be finishing certain series and creating my regular ole fics, I just wanna branch out a little bit. I’m very proud of this fic. :)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Black!Reader

Summary: You, Steve, and your children move into a new home when you start acting strange. 

Warnings: Attention! Please do not read if you aren’t comfortable with description of possessed individual, character death, death of animals, loss of child, and injuries. KInda angsty. Little bit of language in there.

Word Count: I don’t know, LET’S GET SPOOPY! This bitch long though! Also, gif not mine!

“Honey, please don’t put that in your mouth.” You reached behind Steve’s seat while he chuckled. You gently tugged the dog’s blanket from your 3 year old’s mouth and she giggled while you blew a stray curl out of your eye. You looked at your youngest daughter, her eyes catching your eye as she giggled and blew you kiss. You smiled, catching the kiss and placing it over your heart before leaning back in your seat. 

“How long until we get there, Pops?” Your 12 year old son, Ollie, called out to your husband. “Not too far. buddy. Just another mile or so.” Steve responded and your 16 year old daughter, Marina, spoke up. “Ma showed me pictures of the house. I did some research on the house and did you know that the past 3 families that lived there died in random, gruesome deaths?”

You nodded and turned to look at her. “Yeah, i read about that. Lots of people were saying it was cursed by an old witch who led some weird cult hundreds of years ago. Spoooooky.” You and Marina giggled while Steve rolled his eyes. “Daaaad, do you have to let them talk like that around me?’ Your son spoke up and you turned to face him. 

“I’m sorry, sweetie, I know how much you hate that kind of talk.” You gently patted his knee and gave a sympathetic smile while Marina sat back. “Sorry, Ollie. It’s just really interesting, ya know?” Ollie huffed as he rubbed your Golden Retriever’s head. “I guess...” He mumbled and Marina frowned a bit. “Don’t pout on me, man. Look, when we get there and we’re all settled how about we play a few rounds of Mortal Kombat?”

Ollie immediately smiled wide, a grin you loved to see. “You’re on!” 

“We’re here. The movers aren’t too far behind us.” Steve spoke as you pulled into the driveway of the house. It stood tall, a little dirty but nothing that couldn’t be power washed. Everything looked to be in good shape, windows in tact, shutters as well. A small swingset stood off to the side of the yard near a small lake. “I’ve seen the pictures but Steve...this beautiful.”

Your youngest daughter, Sommer, held onto Marina’s hand while Ollie and your dog, Piper walked around the trunk of the car to get their bags. “Duckie!” Sommer called out and you giggled, clapping your hands at her recognition. “Yes! That’s a Duckie!”

Steve walked around the back of the car and grabbed a few bags with very little strain while your son attempted to hide his strain. “You guys should start putting me in lifting classes.” Steve huffed out a laugh and looked down at his son. “You’re a little too young, kiddo. Let’s wait until 13 and see if still feel the same.”

You gently grabbed a bag from Steve’s arm and he gave you a look. “What? I’m not gonna let you carry all this on your own.” 

Marina quickly tugged the bag from your hand and you scoffed. “Your 8 and a half months pregnant. Let’s not induce your labor just yet.” You scoffed and rolled your eyes, huffing as you grabbed Sommer’s hand. “I’ll unlock the door then. Wasn’t even a heavy bag.” You mumbled that last part and Steve sighed as you waddled off to open the door. 

“What are we gonna do with her, dad?” Marina spoke and Steve shrugged, a smile tugging at his lips. “I have no clue, doll. But enough stalling, let’s get these bags in so you guys can pick your rooms.”

That got the kids moving faster!

______________________________

The first few days were quiet, nothing  really going on since you all had moved in. The kids helped unpack while Steve did most of the brunt work. He and the kids, however, would not let you on your feet for more than 10 minutes. Even Sommer chimed in one time with a surprisingly stern “Mommy, sit.” 

Steve decided to leave his company’s work up to his best friends, Bucky and Sam, temporarily since you were due any minute now. 

The house was dusty considering no one had lived in it for over 50 years, needed a few renovations but nothing your Stevie couldn’t fix. 

Today was particularly quiet, Steve had ran out to pick up an extra can of paint and Marina and Ollie were at school. Sommer would have been home with you but Steve’s mom insisted on giving the two of you a break, especially you so she had taken your youngest for the week.

You gently hummed along to Anita Baker’s Sweet Love, softly singing the lyrics to yourself as you swayed. You were making dinner for the night, baked fish, grilled asparagus, and homemade mashed potatoes. You made triple what you really needed because Ollie and Steve alone could eat you out of a house. 

As you mashed the peeled and boiled potatoes you saw something dark quickly pass through your peripheral. Your head snapped up, your eyes immediately glancing at the doorway. “I think these floaters are getting worse.” You sighed and turned back to the small, steel, blue pot, seasoning the potatoes and mixing the dish before adding a bit of milk and letting it sit on low heat. 

You moved to check your fish before a thud from upstairs caught your attention. Your head snapped up. You quietly turned off the heat and wiped your hands before glancing out the window into the driveway. Steve wasn’t home yet so what the fuck was that?

You quietly grabbed the butcher knife the drawer and made your way towards the stairs. You huffed, calming your nerves before taking a step forward. you clutched the knife tightly in your hand as you took each step quietly. You were near the middl when the door opening startled you. You jumped and turned around, knife still in hand. 

“Honey, I’m ho--...i know your hormones are fucked but are you really about to stab me?” He spoke, a smirk on his lips as you rolled your eyes and came back down the steps. “It wasn’t for you. I thought I heard something upstairs. It was honestly probably just the house settling.” Despite the words you were saying you felt a cloud of unease engulf you. You rubbed your rounded belly for comfort as Steve rubbed your arms. He noticed the shaking in your words.

“Hey, hey. I’ll go check everything out up there and you just sit and take a moment to relax.” You nodded as he kissed your forehead and made his way up the steps quietly.

You sat the knife down in the kitchen. You leaned over the counter, taking deep breaths as your anxiousness continued to rise. Another loud thud caused you to flinch. You looked up at the ceiling before making your way back towards the stairs. Another thud made you jump, you were becoming even more weary by the second. “Steve?” You called out and it was silent for a moment before he made his way into your view. 

You took a breath but once registered his state you giggled. “I think I found what scared ya, doll.” His shirt was scratched across his chest and there were a few scratches on his hand but within it he held a raccoon. You giggled and he sighed, coming down the steps. “What were you doing up there little fella?” You spoke to the animal while following Steve as he took it to the tree line near the house. 

“Alright, go on.” He gently put the animal down and it scurried off into the woods. You sighed and walked back to the house, Steve following. 

Once inside you went back to your mashed potatoes, adding some shredded cheddar and parsley. Steve reached out to grab an asparagus and you smacked his hand. “I don’t think so. Go wash your hands and watch the game or something.”

“Excuse you, I prefer the design channel.”

“And that’s why I said or something.”

“Don’t be a smart ass.” He smacked your behind before going to wash his hands. You chuckled, mixing the potatoes as the bus pulled up in front of your house.

____________

“Why didn’t you keep it?!” Ollie screeched at the dinner table and you smiled. He had always loved animals. 

“Because it was wild which means us keeping it as pet isn’t exactly ideal.” You spoke and Steve nodded in agreement. “I don’t know, a pet raccoon sounds kind of cool.” Marina chimed in.

“See!” You giggled and shook your head. “Finish your food and we’ll talk about a pet raccoon.” 

Immediately, Ollie stuffed his mouth full of the salmon and mashed potatoes he had laughed. You laughed and grabbed your plates, standing to your feet. Steve gently grabbed your wrist. “I told you i would handle the dishes, darling.” You rolled your eyes and leaned down to kiss his lips. “I’m just gonna put them in the sink and soak them in some warm water and soap. Make it a little easier for you.”

Steve sighed giving you a smile before letting you go. “Gross.” Ollie spoke up and Marina smacked him in the chest lightly. “it’s not gross. It’s sweet. Dad’s completely in love with mom and she’s the same with him.” 

Steve nodded. “Exactly. You’ll be there soon enough. You’re gonna see the prettiest dame you’ve ever seen in life and then you’re gonna be stuck on her.”

You chuckled softly at their conversation, turning to the sink and placing the dishes in after stopping it up. You poured a bit of soap onto the m before turning on the water. You grabbed the sprayer hose and held it over  dishes. You waited for a few seconds, casually glancing around before your eyes landed outside. You squinted, think you’d seen someone out there. You blinked and it looked like a body was hanging from the large oak tree outside. 

Your hands shook, your breathing beginning to come out in short bursts. You tried calling Steve but his name wouldn’t come out. Within seconds the figure appeared in front of you outside. You saw Marina, face pale and bruised, blood running from her mouth as she gave you a sinister smile. She reached out towards you, her eyes rolling back while she twitched violently. 

You managed to let out a blood curdling scream as tears streamed down your cheeks. Your heads clutched your shirt tightly as your eyes fell closed. Your screams got louder and soon you were wrapped in someone’s arms. You don’t know when but apparently you had sunken down to the floor. You were pulled tight against a broad chest with a voice oddly familiar whispering to you that you’re okay.

Your body continued to shake as you sobbed. “No, no, no, no. Marina!” You sobbed out and cried harder. You felt soft hands on your face. “Mom, open your eyes.” You shook your head. “No, please not my Marina...” You whispered out, still sobbing until a cracked voice finally brought you back to Earth. 

“Mom, please! I’m right here, I’m right here.” You opened your eyes slowly. A wail escaped your lips as you saw your oldest, perfectly fine aside from the tears running down her face. You gathered her in your arms and hugged tightly. You shook, holding her tightly.

“Baby, what happened?” Steve asked as you pulled away. You sniffled and shook your head, not able to describe what you had seen. 

“Okay, okay. Let’s just go to bed. Kids put the food away.” Steve picked you up in a fireman’s carry before making his way up the stairs and into your bedroom. Your shaking had subsided by now, thankfully and your breathing was back to normal.”Angel, what happened?” 

You shook your head and grabbed his hand. “I can’t...Steve, it was so horrible.” Your eyes welled up with tears again before Steve quickly climbed in beside you and wrapped you in his arms. 

“Okay, okay. It’s alright. Marina’s okay, Ollie’s okay, Sommer’s okay. They’re all okay.”

__________________

The next morning, Marina had given you an extra tight hug and so had Ollie. Sarah was gonna drop Sommer off a little later so you had some time to yourself. You sat on your couch, eating a chocolate bar dipped in melted peanut butter. Steve plopped down beside you, resting his head on your shoulder while his hand fell to your belly. “How are you feeling, sweetheart?”

You shrugged. “I’m fine. Feeling a little tired but otherwise, okay.” You rested your head on top of his while he gently pulled your shirt up. He sat up at the dark bruise that had appeared on your brown skin. “What’s that?” You looked down and set down your treat. “I have no clue.” 

“Does it hurt?” You shake your head and rub your belly. “Not at all.” Steve’s eyes shifted to your neck. The top of a dark bruise appeared there. He gently tugged down your collar and you glanced down, eyes widening at the bruise. “What the hell?” You spoke up and Steve sat back. “We should get that checked, babe.”

You eyed the bruises and nodded. “Yeah, but it’s just two. And they don’t hurt so.”

“But they’re bruises, Y/N.” Steve gave you a hardened look and you sighed.

“I’m fine. I promise. Besides we have a check up next week. We’ll ask about it then.”

Steve opened his mouth to rebuttal before the doorbell sounded. You immediately got up and answered, seeing Sarah and Sommer. “Mommy!” You giggled as she jumped in your arms. “Hey, baby. Hi, Ma” You leaned in and gave Sarah a kiss before inviting her in. “Oh, this place is lovely. Where’s Steven?”

“Right here, ma.

Sarah immediately moved to give him a kiss on the cheek. You always loved seeing them interact, especially since Sarah seemed so small compared to Steve. He always had to strain his back to even give her a proper hug. “Oh, I feel like I haven’t seen you two in ages. Where are my other babies?”

You handed Sommer to Steve and she giggled as he covered her face in kisses. “They’re at school, you’re welcome to stay for dinner.”

“Oh, darling, it was a part of the plan anyway.” You chuckled and sat down as Steve went o grab a snack for Sommer. 

“So, how’s my fourth baby?” Sarah asked as she sat down near you. “He’s fiiiine. A little rowdy.” You rubbed your belly and Sarah looked at you, something soft in her eyes. “And you, hon?”

“I’m...okay.” You gave her a poor attempt at a smile and she gave you a look before you sighed. “Well,I keep having these weird like...visions. I had the worst one last night after dinner. And then not even five minutes before you got here Steve found these random bruises. They don’t hurt but it’s like they just appeared out of thin air. God, I sound like I’m insane.”

You sighed and Sarah patted your knee. “No, darling, you don’t. This place is beautiful but it’s something off about it. I don’t know about things like this but I know someone who does. His name is Johnny Blaze. Get in touch with him and tell him everything you told me. He’ll know what’s going on.” 

You looked at her and sighed. “I’ll think about it but it’s probably just my mind fucking with me.”  Sarah gently kissed your temple, rubbing your back softly.

__________________

That night you grabbed your laptop and searched up Johnny Blaze. Apparently he was a sort of seer and had a gift to see through another side of our world. You weren’t too keen on calling him just yet so you favorited his info before shutting your laptop for the night. Steve climbed in bed shortly after, his hands immediately going for your tummy. 

A sigh passed through your lips, catching Steve’s attention. “What’s on your mind, Sugar?” You shrugged, gently carding your fingers through his dirty blonde hair. “I don’t know. All this weird, scary shit going is getting to me.” Steve chuckled and gently grabbed your hand before placing gentle kisses from your palm up to your shoulder. 

“It may just be stress, darling. Tomorrow I’ll take you, Sommer, Piper and our growing bean to the park. Maybe go for some ice cream? How’s that sound?” 

You gave him a soft smile before pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Sounds perfect.” You leaned over to turn off your lamp before sinking into the warm comforter, Steve wrapping himself around you.

You stood quietly on your front porch, watching Ollie run around with Piper trailing behind him. Marina and Sommer sat under the large oak tree in your yard coloring together while Marina played music for the two of them. Your hands gently grazed over your rounded belly, a smile gracing your lips as felt your baby kick. A sigh passed through your lips as you turned to go back inside but you were immediately met with cold, dark, and dialated pupils.

Your breathing got stuck in your throat as the face of this...thing twisted into a menacing grin. Teeth dirty and rotten, saliva black and dripping from it’s mouth. You clutched your belly tighter as it began to speak. “I’ll take them by your hand.” It spoke, it’s voice low and gravelly. You opened your mouth to scream and it took the opportunity to force it’s hand down your throat. 

Your scream was immediately silenced as your hands attempted to claw at the thing standing in front of you. You felt a searing pain, like they were ripping something from you before it began screeching at you in a grating voice.

“WAKE UP.”

You became conscious to the fact that something was shaking you, gently but urgently. You heard feet padding around the room and seemingly distant pleas for you to wake up. Then you became aware of the screaming. Who the hell is screaming like that? Your eyes snapped open and you finally completely registered your surroundings and that you were in fact the one screaming. 

Your eyes darted around as your screams died down to short bursts of air. You noticed your children, then Steve, and finally a warm, wet sensation underneath you. “Y/N, baby! What happened?”

You don’t answer, just rip the sheets from your body. You immediately recognize the fluid currently making your sheets see through, a large pool of it forming under you. Your bottom lip shakes as you grip Steve’s hand when his eyes finally see what you’re staring at. 

You groan as a sharp pain sears through your abdomen, tears immediately forming. You vaguely hear Steve telling Marina to grab towels and put them in the car. You hear him telling Ollie to take Sommer back to bed as he picks you up and leads you down the steps and to the car. 

“Call your grandmother and tell her your mom is in labor. Do not open the door for anyone, she has a key. Get back inside.” Steve rushes out before putting you in the car and kissing her head. Another wave of pain hits and you wince, trying to breathe through it. You weren’t supposed to be feeling contractions this close were you?

___________________

Steve rushes down the highway as fast, yet safely as possible. He strokes your head and tells you encouraging words as sweat beats down on you and you try to contain the pain you feel. 

It feels like hours before Steve is finally ripping your door open and carrying you into the emergency room. “Help! My wife’s in labor!” He yells out and it immediately catches the attention of nurses. The grab a gurney and Steve places you on it before he follows you and the multiple nurses pulling you to the nearest delivery room.

You let out a strangled groan as another contraction rips through you, squeezing the hand of whoever was beside you. You couldn’t focus, the pain was intense and the bright lights made it no better. You vaguely hear someone over the intercom paging a doctor.

Your body is lifted and you’re shifted to a more stable bed as a woman rushes in. “How far are the contractions?” You groan as another one hits you and the nurse replies but you can’t hear. All of a sudden a masked face is hovering over yours, stroking your hair. A soft voice speaks, “Alright, Mrs. Rogers. I know this is soon but you need to push.”

A sob racks your body as another excruciating pain rips through you. You listen as best you can, pushing and stopping when they tell you to. Steve is right beside you, speaking sweet, encouraging words in your ear as you struggle to compose your pain vocally.

Finally, the stretching, the burning sensation, the pain all stops and you’re panting. You smile, you did it. You relax back into the bed before your eyes snap open. Why isn’t your baby crying? You sit up and you blink as your doctors roll your baby away. “Wait...wait! Where are they taking him!? Why can’t I hold my baby?”

Steve attempts to try to calm you but you don’t care. Where is your baby? Why won’t they let you see him? You start to thrash, vehemently trying to get up to follow but nurses hold you down. You feel a soft prick in your arm before you’re suddenly losing consciousness.

________________________________

When you come to Steve is there, his eyes rimmed red and clutching your hand as he sniffles. You groan, looking around the room slowly becoming aware of where you were. Oh, you had your baby! Where is he/she? You turn to Steve, gently squeezing his hand. He looks up and you frown at the tears streaming down his cheeks. “Where’s the baby?” You mutter softly and Steve sits up straighter, gripping your hand in both of his. 

He gives you a sorrowful look and you blink at him. He starts shaking his head and trying to find the right words to say this to you but you already register it. You remembered what happened after you have birth. You look at him in disbelief, shaking your head. “No, Steve...” You call out for him but his eyes fall to the ground. You start to shake, your mouth opening and closing, forming into a grimace as you feel unimaginable pain rip through your chest. “No, please, no....” You stutter, your breathing picking up as Steve stands, pulling your hand to his chest. You fight him, tears rushing down your cheeks as screams of sorrow escape you.

You fight Steve so hard he has to climb into your hospital and tightly wrap his arms around you while laying his weight on you. You let out a gut wrenching howl of agony into his chest. Steve just holds you tighter as nurses rush in. They stop at the sight, understanding your pain since they were the ones who helped deliver your still born.

____________________________

You’re released from the hospital a few days later but you’re not the same. when you get home you don’t acknowledge your children who come rushing towards you. You don’t acknowledge Sarah as she gives an understanding, pain filled look. You just walk inside and immediately go to your bedroom.

Steve explains what happened to the kids, explaining it a bit differently to Sommer since she was only 3. When he speaks to his mother, her face twists in horror. “I’d never seen her like that, Ma. She was so hurt and in pain. The doctors were even considering keeping her and putting her on suicide watch.”

When Steve goes upstairs that night he hears you sobbing, he joins you. His arms are tight around you and he’s holding you tight as you shake. He’s comforting you but there’s an unsettling pit in his stomach and he doesn’t know why.

Things get worse over the next month. You had barely spoken a word since. You’ve barely showered on your own. Your kids have become weary of you. Marina tries to talk to you when you’re downstairs but you just stair off into space. Ollie attempts to get you to play with him and Piper but you ignore him. Poor Sommer keeps showing you her art but you don’t care. Steve tells them to give you time but they’re worried, scared even.

Steve’s scared too. More bruises keep appearing. Every time the dog comes near you she barks and you damn near growl back at her, sending her scurrying away. Your usually glowing deep, brown skin has become dull, lifeless. Your curls would usually be messy but full of life and always had a purposeful place in your hairstyles but now he began to notice areas beginning to become matted. You didn’t let him touch you in anyway whatsoever.

One day Steve goes to pick up dinner while you’re home alone. The kids are at school and Sommer tagged along with Steve. You’re sitting on the couch, in a old Howard University sweatshirt when Piper rounds the corner and begins barking at you. You ignore it as Piper begins to turn her attention elsewhere and then she begins barking at the corner. 

You sigh and get up, opening the front door and she runs out. You silently make your way back to the couch and sit. You hear a whimper and a loud crack but you ignore it.

________________________

Ollie discovers the dog. Its neck twisted in a sick way and blood oozing out. Steve nearly loses his lunch. The next day, they bury her under the tree out front. When Steve turns, rubbing Ollie’s back he sees you staring out from the kitchen window. You turn silently and walk away but he doesn’t expect to see a pale woman, teeth black giving him a sinister grin before he turns, not realizing he had stopped breathing.

A week after that he wakes up to Sommer screaming bloody murder in her room. He rushes over and sees her thrashing under the covers. Marina rushes in as Steve picks her up and holds her tight while she cries into his shoulder. When he turns towards the door he sees you just as you turn to go back to your shared room. Sommer begs him to protect her from the scary lady with no teeth that night and he does.

Marina, unbeknownst to Steve, had seen the woman too. She had seen her the night you had your breakdown in the kitchen and since then she’s been doing her research. She talked to her grandmother the night you went to the hospital and Sarah had given Marina the same advice she had given you: Call Johnny Blaze.

The following morning after Sommer’s incident, Marina sits across the table from Steve as he reads. “Dad...” Steve looks up, placing the paper down. “Yes, sweetheart?’

“I’ve seen the lady. The lady with no teeth...I’ve seen her too. Except she’s not toothless it just looks like she has tar as saliva..”

Steve pauses and sighs, grabbing his daughter’s hand as she continues. “I think that’s why mom is being so weird. I did the research on this house and mom was right. A witch did curse this place and I think she’s coming after mom.”

Steve chewed his lip before sighing. “Marina...” He begins but she stops him. “Dad. please. I even looked up the stages of possession. Oppression, break down the victim. That thing has been terrorizing mom since we got here. Obsession, consume their life. All of us has seen that woman, even Sommer and Ollie. And then possession, I think it’s in the process of that right now with mom. I think...It’s plan is to kill all of us.”

Steve scoffed and Marina shook her head, frantically trying to make her dad listen. “I know you’ve seen the way Piper acted around mom. Dogs are good senses of characters and spirits. She loved mom, why would she just turn all of a sudden. And...And...I’ve caught mom standing over Ollie’s bed, just staring. I even caught her staring at me once at night, growling at me.”

“Why wouldn’t you tell me this?”

“I was scared! I wasn’t sure if I had just dreamed or what but...I think she tried to get Sommer last night and when you stopped her she was pissed so that’s why we--”

She was cut off by Steve dragging across the table as a chair was launched in her direction. She screamed as Steve immediately dropped to the floor. “We need to call Johnny Blaze.”

_____________

The next night Johnny was there, he greets Steve and the children. He steps into the house and winces. “Ah, I think it’s best if you’re children leave. As soon as possible.”

Steve nods and grabs his phone to calls his mom as he rushes the kids upstairs to grab a set of clothes for the night. He tells Sarah to come immediately and she’s already on her way out the door before he hangs up. He turns towards Johnny, wringing his hands together, “Can you really help my wife?” 

Johnny nods, looking around the house. “I can but she has to work just as hard to fight whatever it is that’s attached itself to her and is trying to crawl inside.” Steve nods and opens his mouth to speak before a scream from up the steps catches both of their attention.

Both men rush up the stairs to see you holding Sommer by the neck with a pair of scissors trying to come down into her chest. Marina is holding that hand back while Ollie is shaking in the corner. Steve grips him by the shoulders. “Go outside, your grandmother will be here. Do not come back in this house!” Ollie follows, rushing down the steps.

Johnny manages to pry the scissors from your hands and Marina is wrenching your hand from around her little sister’s neck. When Sommer is finally free she runs as best as her tiny legs can, taking the same path as Ollie. Steve tackles you to the ground when you attempt to chase after, pinning his body weight on top of you. 

“Marina, go!” Steve yells towards her and she hesitates before leaving the room as well. You’re growling like an animal and Steve finally gets a good look at you he cringes. Your pupils are dilated and tiny. Your face is sunken and there’s cuts covering it, you smell awful and your skin looks lifeless. He feels tears forming in his eyes while Johnny is speaking some words in a foreign language. You twist and howl beneath your husband as he continues. He watches as your back arches, a loud crack threatening to send bile up his throat. “What are you doing?! You’re hurting her, stop that!”

Johnny ignores him and continues as Steve watches you claw and scratch at his hands, you’re screaming but your voice sounds distorted, like yours and someone else’s were mixing. Then he heard you, your voice calling him. “Steve, please!” You yelled out and Steve panted, shaking his head before leaning down and whispering how much he loved you and how strong you were in your ear.

You sobbed as Johnny continued his chanting, only being able to assume he was trying to get this witch out of you. When he sat up to look at you he was taken aback, seeing the woman with tar in her mouth grinning at him. She spoke to him, her voice gravelly like someone had taken a cheese grater to her vocal cords. “She screams for you, Stevie. Come get her, Stevie. Come get her!” The woman taunts before letting out a laugh. 

Suddenly, you’re yanked from underneath with such force he couldn’t hold on. “Y/N!” You’re tumbling down the stairs before you’re on your feet and yanking the front door open. “She’s going for the kids!” Johnny yells after Steve. Steve’s almost to you when you’re suddenly running, dragging Ollie behind you as you make your way to the kitchen in haste. 

Ollie screams, grasping your wrist as you laugh loudly, sinister smile on your lips. You grab the nearest knife and turn, smiling at Steve as Marina, Sommer, and Johnny rush in. “I’m gonna take all this bitch’s children one by one then I’m gonna take her.” The woman’s voice rings out and Steve rushes forward to grab your hand. You’re struggling enough to have to let Ollie go, trying to fight off Steve. 

“No! Y/n, I know you hear me. I need you to fight this thing, you have children who need you. I need you.” He pleads and the witch laughs. “She’s weak, Stevie. And I’ll take her and all you bastards down with me!”

“Mom, please!” Marina calls out and you pause, almost as if the got through to you, the real you. “I need you, mom. Please, Ollie and Sommer need you!” 

Your lip quivers as you stare at Steve. “Y/n, you have to keep this thing under control while i do this.” Johnny reaches to place a hand on your chest and you shake your head. “No, no. She won’t let me go, she won’t.”

Johnny shook his head. “Yes, she will...” You smile at him. “She’ll terrorize us...them. Thank you for helping my family as best you could but she’ll never let them go.”

 You look at you children, giving them a teary smile before mouthing ‘I love you.’ You turn to Steve and stroke his cheek with your free hand, “I love you so much, Stevie. You were first and only love. I need you to take care of my babies for me.”

Steve shook his head. “No, Johnny is gonna get that bitch out of you and you’re gonna take care of them with me...” His voice shakes and you shake your head, gently kissing his lips. “Take care of my babies and move on...for me.” You smile at him, sadness and light in your eyes before you rip your hand from him and plunge the knife into your chest. You vomit immediately afterwards, black liquid escaping your mouth and spilling onto the floor. When you finished you still went limp slightly shaking as  clutched onto Steve.

You gasp, sinking to your knees while still clutching the knife. Steve called out to you frantically, sinking with you as he held your face. Your children rushed over and Steve tried to shield them from you but Marina reached out, touching your cheek. 

“Look after your dad for me, baby. T-tell Sommer that i l-loved her...every day.” You whispered and Marina nodded, kissing your hand as you turned, looking uo to see Ollie. He was confused, you could tell so you turned to Steve. “Remind him how m-much i loved him...”

Steve sobbed, letting his tears fall onto your face as he shakily kissed your lips. You looked at him, giving him a final smile before you let go. Steve watched the life leave your eyes, held you tight as you went limp in his arms. He sobbed into your chest, letting shaking his head as he screamed into your chest. 

You weren’t coming back, you couldn’t come back.

_______________________ 

Your funeral wasn’t big, just with close friends and family. The immediate family released yellow butterflies in your honor once you had been lowered into the ground while your friends released white butterflies.

Steve held your children close, hugging them tightly and then he noticed something. Sommer’s butterfly refused to leave its jar. He tried to coax it out but it just backed deeper into the jar. He felt tears slowly rolling down his cheeks as he smiled, knowing that it was indication that you were gone but you’d always be right there. 

_________________________________________________

A/N: Yes, I ended on a corny sappy note because i WANTED TO. Hope ypu enjoyed! :)

[lady-divine-writes]

Need for Speed: New York - Chapter 3 (NC17)

Summary: It's been years since high school graduation, and Kurt and Blaine are living the lives of their dreams in New York City alongside their best friends, Nick and Jeff. Car racing behind them, they're working towards the future - Kurt and Jeff at NYADA, Blaine and Nick at NYU. But soon after moving from their tiny apartments to a bigger loft, bits and pieces of Ohio start to weed their way in to their lives - along with some New York grown angst, causing rifts that hopping behind the wheel of a Mustang might not be able to solve.

Read on AO3.

“Kurt? Are you doing all right over there?” Nick asked, straining under the weight of their new sofa - the sofa Kurt picked out and was infinitely proud to have found on clearance. The guys had decided collectively to give Kurt carte blanche with regards to decorating the communal rooms of the loft because - they had to face it - interior decorating was more his forte than theirs. If he didn’t become a Broadway star, he would definitely end up a designer.

Kurt’s eye for detail was exceptional.

If Blaine had his way, he’d bathe the entire place in leather and chrome. He’d even suggested it to Kurt once while he was sitting in bed mulling over fabric swatches. Kurt scolded him, told him to excel beyond his stereotype.

Blaine accused Kurt of being a philistine.

And then they fucked.

Jeff, on the other hand, would forgo the stress of furniture altogether in favor of maintaining the empty space. He wasn’t opposed to eating on the floor and often said that all he really needed to be comfortable was a bed and his boyfriend … and the bed was negotiable.

So with that and the chili pepper lights he bought for his and Nick’s room, he considered himself set.

If given the chance to decorate, Nick would probably end up making their loft look like Dalton Academy. Not on purpose. That’s what he was raised with, what home looked like - hard wood everything; tartan fabrics declaring fake provenance; fine China and collectible figurines locked behind glass; anything soft and comforting, like the couches and recliners, wrapped in plastic. Sanitized.

Protected from human touch.

Besides, between Blaine, Nick, and Jeff, not a one of them had the time nor the patience. So they pooled their money together, gave it to Kurt, and told him to have at it.

And he did.

Kurt ordered the sofa first because he said it would be the heart of the room - the thing that would bring all other design elements together. But placement was key. He’d already had Nick help him move it twice. He wanted it in the spot that got the most mid-afternoon sun, and seeing as it was delivered at eight in the morning, the movers put it in the wrong place.

Before the rest of the living room furniture arrived, this needed to be rectified.

“I’m alright,” Kurt replied, nudging his end forward, signaling Nick to move his end a little more to the left.

“Then what in the world are you grinning at?” After a third consecutive peek over at his friend, Nick noticed Kurt beaming at him like a proud parent watching their kid star as a tooth in a middle school play.

“Oh, nothing,” Kurt sang in that way that indicated it definitely was something. “It’s just nice to see you guys come up for air after violating our new loft for the past three days.”

Nick grunted, prepared to drop his end and call it quits if Kurt insisted on poking fun at him all day long. He’d made a comment when he woke up (Look who finally decided to join the land of the living!), before breakfast (Now tell me, before I plate, do I have to bleach the table first?), after breakfast (Must be nice eating something other than tube steak for once …), then just before his shower (I considered putting a black light light bulb in there, but I haven’t had the chance to steam clean and I’m afraid the place would light up like a Christmas tree!). It was all in good fun, Nick knew. He’d done the same to Kurt about a hundred times when they’d spend the night over at their place. He just … wasn’t in the mood.

He couldn’t say that to Kurt, though. He’d be walking right into the remark that would follow and would have no one to blame but himself.

But in a blink, Kurt’s smile dipped, and he became serious.

“Out of curiosity, in between all the screwing that was going on here, did you guys ever get the chance to talk about what’s been bothering you?”

Kurt stopped walking and lowered his end, and Nick took that as his cue to put his side down. He sighed in exhaustion. Not from moving the sofa. The sofa wasn’t that heavy. But this conversation might be. “Not exactly.”

“Nick …”

“There never seemed to be a right time.”

“Of course there’s never going to be a right time if you use sex to stall! Jeff takes his cues from you, and you know he’ll choose jumping on you like a trampoline over a heart-to-heart if that’s what he thinks you want!”

“It’s … it’s not just that.” Nick side-eyed the sofa, missing a few minutes ago when he was lugging it around and didn’t have to talk about this. “It’s that … I know what I’m feeling is stupid.”

“It’s not stupid, Nick.”

“Yes, it is!” Nick flopped onto the closest cushion, resting his forehead on the heels of his hands. “The things that I’m feeling, they’re more about how I see myself than about how Jeff sees me! I know that! But I can’t stop myself! Even before we started going out, I was always afraid I’d lose him to someone smarter … more talented … better looking ...” Nick’s eyes darted Kurt’s way after each superlative and Kurt felt them tug at his heart. There was a time after Kurt and Jeff became friends when Nick assumed Jeff liked Kurt. Like liked Kurt. Kurt knew that, felt guilty about it, and for a while, he was sure they might never become friends because of it. But look at them now. “And I’m afraid that if I talk to him about it, he’ll think I’m having doubts about him. A-about us. But it’s not about him or us. It’s about me. My sucky internship and my boring-ass classes and how absolutely uninspired and stuck I feel. I mean, that right there is the height of stupidity! Who the hell feels stuck in New York City? It’s the city of dreams! New York is supposed to be the place where anything can happen! It’s happening for you and for Blaine, and definitely for Jeff. So why isn’t it happening for me?”

“I don’t know, Nick,” Kurt said, sitting on the sofa beside his friend. “And I wish I could be more help. But I do know that Jeff loves you. All he wants to do is make you happy. It’s what he lives for! He talks about you like you’re the smartest, kindest, hottest thing on two legs!”

“Really?” Nick chuckled. He knew that Jeff did already, but he still found it difficult to believe.

“Yeah. And it’s super annoying!”

“Thanks.”

“I also know that if he found out that you’ve been harboring fears and doubts that you’re not talking to him about, he’d be hurt.”

“I know, I know. I owe it to him. That doesn’t make it any easier.”

Kurt put a hand on Nick’s knee and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I’m not trying to pressure you. Think it over, then talk to him when you’re ready. And I know it’s hard, but please, don’t make him wait too long. You might think you’re stealthy at keeping secrets, but I can’t help feeling he knows something’s up.”

And there it was. The thing Nick had been trying to avoid. But Kurt saw it, which meant Jeff had to have. If Nick could get his self-absorbed head out of his ass, he could put this to rest once and for all. “I’ll talk to him,” he said, putting a hand over Kurt’s and holding it. “Soon. I promise.”

***

“Settle down, settle down! Ladies! Gentlemen! We have a lot of ground to cover today so … shut up!”

The dancers laughed as Madame Dufraine marched into the room, the square heels of her dance shoes clicking against the smooth floor.

“We need to discuss semester projects!” she continued, shrugging out of her coat and handing it to her TA. She didn’t look before she let it go, knowing he’d be there to catch it before it hit the ground … or else. “Chester, Chad, Lonnie, Michael, and Jeff are our contestants today. Let’s shake things up and start from the end.” She peered into the wall-length mirror, tucked a stray brown curl underneath her plum turban. Then she turned to her class, tapped the floor with her cane, and announced, “Jeff? Darling? You’re up.”

“Okay.” Jeff popped to his feet straight from his seat on the floor and took the teacher’s place at the front of the class. He clapped his hands in front of him, pausing to get his thoughts in order. The smile glowing on his face was distracting. It earned him several giggles from the girls who knew who that smile belonged to. “My semester project is very special to me,” he began, voice quivering with excitement. “It’s a modern take on a classic pas de deux. I’ve been planning this for a while, and I was originally hoping to dance it with Kevin.” Jeff paused to shoot a look at the man sitting on the only chair in the room, his left leg locked in a cast that ran from his foot up to mid-thigh. “But he took himself out of the running when he broke his leg.”

“More like a Dodge Charger took me out of the running, my man.”

“If that’s the story you’re going with,” Jeff teased. The giggling returned. “Anyway, my semester project isn’t only about dance and what it brings to us in this room. It’s about how dance influences life, how it brings people together.” Jeff’s cheeks turned red as he approached the meat of the matter. “My project wasn’t choreographed by me alone. It was choreographed by me and my best friend while we were in high school - my boyfriend Nick.”

A chorus of ooo’s accompanied his revelation, and his cheeks got redder.

“Dance didn’t necessarily bring us together, but it’s always been a huge part of our lives. Even now, while he’s studying to become a lawyer, he helps me practice.” He bit his lower lip thinking about dancing with Nick, dressed in their pajama pants and t-shirts, taking a turn around their living room wrapped in each other’s arms. “He doesn’t need to study dance to be a dancer. No one does. He’s a dancer because a love of dance lives inside of him. And to be honest … his love inspires me. I wanna use this project to show him how much.”

The dancers in the classroom awww’d in unison, then clapped in support of his plan … all except for one man hunkered down in the corner of the room, out of sight, rolling blue eyes.

***

Nick wrapped his coat tight around his body and bounced on the balls of his feet, waiting outside NYADA for his boyfriend to appear. Students dribbled through the doors dressed in stylish clothes, talking excitedly about art and music and theater. All of the beautiful people seemed to reside in NYADA’s halls and his own wickedly talented boyfriend was among them.

One of the elite.

Nick was just Nick - law student. Nick, with mousy brown hair and wearing sensible shoes. Nick  … soft and meek and utterly uninteresting.

His heart stuttered when he saw Jeff walk out the doors, blending seamlessly with the other ballet gods and goddesses, almost all of them with an eye for his man. And why not? If Jeff was stunning as a teenager, he had grown into an absolute dream. His body had become even more defined through hours of practice and working out and discipline. He had more strength in his forearms alone than Nick had in his whole body, or so Nick imagined. With his innate charm and natural grace, no one would ever guess that Jeff was anything other than a New York socialite instead of coming from a working class family in Ohio.

Nick came from a much better-to-do family in Ohio, but the difference was that, regardless of having more money than Jeff’s family, Nick looked like he came from Ohio.

He and Jeff no longer matched, and Nick didn’t know how to fix that.

Jeff stopped outside with a pack of ballerinas, and one particularly friendly man sporting a black up-sweep and piercing blue eyes, whose fingers seemed to find a way to brush along Jeff’s arm no matter where he moved; whose lips lingered around his ear a little too long. Nick didn’t interrupt even though the urge to strut over and wedge his way between them overwhelmed him.

That’s what Kurt would do. He’d part them like the Red Sea, declare his superiority, and have everyone bowing at his feet.

But Nick couldn’t, no matter how much sass of his own Jeff claimed Nick had.

Maybe Jeff belonged with them. And Nick … well, Nick should find somewhere else to call home.

***

“Can you believe how many times Erik fell during that jazz combination? I thought Ms. July was going to put him through a window!”

“Now there’s a man with two left feet! And he’s a contemporary dance major! I can’t imagine what his knees are going to look like tonight!”

“The same way they look every night, I imagine.”

“Keisha! Don’t say that! That’s rude!”

“What? If you don’t think that man doesn’t spend every night on his knees, then you’re delusional!”

“And so what if he does? Have you seen his boyfriend? I don’t think Erik’s getting the short end of the stick by any means.”

Jeff laughed politely when the other dancers did. Man but the ballerinas at NYADA gossiped more than Kurt, and they didn’t pull any punches. Most of the time it was amusing to listen to whether he agreed with it or not, but today he was eager to get home. He hadn’t been this excited since he graduated high school. He felt like everything in his life was starting anew - new semester, new classes, new loft, and his project which, if he played his cards right, might lead to something else new.

Something he’d wanted for a long time.

He just needed to find the man that would make that happen.

His man.

He lifted his eyes and glanced around, searching the crowd impatiently for his boyfriend.

It took only a single sweep of his eyes to find him.

As if Nick had called out his name, Jeff spotted him standing awkwardly off to the side, looking oddly uncomfortable. Jeff smiled, breaking through the crowd of dancers mid-sentence to greet his adorably clueless man.

Nick, with the sharpest wit of any person Jeff had ever met.

Nick, always so oblivious to how amazing he was.

Nick, the man Jeff swore he would someday marry.

Jeff greeted Nick the way he always did, by grabbing him around the waist and lifting him in the air, spinning him and kissing him breathless. It didn’t matter that they were on a busy street in the middle of the afternoon. It didn’t matter that a whole gaggle of people stared at them. Either way, whenever Jeff laid eyes on Nick, the rest of the world melted away until the only person that mattered was in Jeff’s arms.

“So, Mr. Handsome Law Student Extraordinaire,” he said, taking Nick’s hand and sticking it in his own jacket pocket, “how was your day?”

“Same old, same old,” Nick replied, staring down at his shoes as he walked through the slush.

“That bad, huh?”

“Yeah. And it got me thinking …” Nick swallowed hard “… actually, I may have been thinking about this off and on for a while now …” He didn’t enjoy broaching the subject of moving, especially when those plans didn’t necessarily include Jeff. Not that he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life with Jeff. He could see himself easily giving up law and spending the rest of his life traveling the country with Jeff, driving from one end of the continent to the other in Jeff’s 300ZX, concerned with nothing more pressing than where they would eat and what sites they would see. But he couldn’t ask Jeff to leave his life in New York. He loved Jeff, more than he loved himself. Asking Jeff to uproot his whole life just for him? That wasn’t something he could do. “You know, I … I don’t think I’m doing so well here.”

Jeff looked at Nick, eyes wide with surprise. “What do you mean?” he asked, guiding Nick through a crowd heading toward the subway.

“I don’t know … school kind of sucks, my internship is worse, and most of the time, I don’t feel like I fit in.”

“But I thought you were doing great in school.” Jeff led the way down the steep steps to the subway, paying their fare as they walked through the turnstile. “And didn’t Mr. Ryerson say you were one of his best interns?”

“Yeah, because I can walk five cups of coffee from the elevator to his office without spilling anything.”

Jeff found a bench and sat on it, pulling Nick into his lap. Nick looked around, self-conscious of who might be watching, but no one seemed to notice them.

“If they don’t appreciate you, fuck ‘em. Their loss.” Jeff took both of Nick’s hands in his and kissed them, warming Nick’s skin with his breath. “So if you don’t want to stay in New York, where should we go, Nicky?”

Nick stared at his boyfriend in disbelief, so nonchalant in the face of a total life change. “Wh-what do you mean ‘we’?”

“Well, if you’re moving away, I’m going with you.”

“But you have a life here,” Nick argued. “You’re top of your class. You’re making a name for yourself.”

“Nicky …” Jeff looked at Nick with hurt and confused eyes, his boyfriend clearly missing the obvious “… I chose a life here because you’re here. I can dance anywhere. There’s only one Nick.”

Nick’s gaze drifted slowly to their linked hands. “But … what if we weren’t meant to be together?” he said, remembering the dancers gathered around Jeff, the statuesque women, straight out of a Degas painting … and that one handsome man. “You and I, we’ve become so different really. I think that maybe, sometimes, we’re a little too different.”

Nick was afraid Jeff would get mad. Jeff didn’t usually get mad about anything. He had the heart of a pacifist. Still, Nick half-expected it. But Jeff looked at him calmly, ready to impart his sage Jeff wisdom that somehow managed to keep Nick sane during times of incredible self-doubt.

“Nicky, we’ve known each other since elementary school, and you’ve always been my best friend.”

“I know,” Nick said, giving in and resting his head against Jeff’s shoulder.

Jeff held Nick tighter against him. “Have you ever wondered why?”

“Wondered why what?”

“We barely ever fight, we always see eye to eye, we like the same stuff, we’re really hot in bed together …”

Nick blushed red to the roots of his hair but he couldn’t disagree. “I … guess I never really gave it any thought.”

“Because you belong with me, Nicky,” Jeff said, rocking his boyfriend in his arms. “You always have. And I belong with you. There isn’t anyone on heaven or earth who can do anything about that. So, if you’re leaving New York, I’m going with you. Got it? Unless …”

“Unless …?”

“Unless you … you don’t love me …” Jeff’s voice went hoarse, the words a struggle to say, his heart lodging itself in his throat to keep him from finishing “… and you don’t know how to tell me?”

Nick jerked up so quickly, he nearly knocked Jeff on the chin with his forehead. “No! Oh, Jeff! God, no! I’ve loved you since forever! Since before forever! And I always will! That’s not what this is about! I swear! Please don’t think for one minute …”

“Okay …” Jeff put gentle fingers to his boyfriend’s lips to stop his anxiety-fueled explaining. “That’s all I needed to know.”

Nick nodded, smiling as Jeff leaned in for a kiss, chaste and sweet. But when Jeff’s tongue slipped between Nick’s lips and the hard metal ball of his piercing danced against Nick’s tongue, he moaned.

That sound of bliss might have turned a head or two, but Nick didn’t notice.

“So,” Jeff said, “why don’t we head back to the loft and see how many times we can get our new neighbors to call the cops?”

Nick grinned. “Sounds like a plan.”

***

“So, no lab partner yet?” Blaine slid onto the bench at the lunch table Sebastian occupied alone, every book he needed for the semester spread out in front of him as he worked at playing catch up.

“Nah. Seems like the class is all evens and I’m the odd man out.”

“What are you going to do? That lab is half the grade.”

“It’s no biggie. Professor is going to let me be my own lab partner for now. Sort of academic masturbation.” Sebastian moved his plate closer to Blaine when he noticed him coveting his sweet potato fries. “Here. Have at it, tiger. I don’t need you drooling all over my homework. I don’t think I get extra credit for that.”

“Thanks.” Blaine wasted no time snagging a fry and dipping it in ketchup. “Well, that’s good. About the lab partner thing. It’d be awful to have your grade cut in half in the first few days after you lucked out with late admission and all. It’d be like they set you up to fail.”

“Yup. And I would have paid thousands for the privilege.”

“Brutal. So, are we on for Friday night?”

“Yup.” Sebastian snickered. “You and Kurt both texted me about the party at the same time. Now I know how he must have felt in high school – caught between two devastatingly handsome men.”

Blaine frowned at Sebastian’s attempt at humor. “Funny. That might not be the way he remembers it.”

Sebastian nodded to himself - a private note to start curbing his tongue … if he can remember. “I’m sure he doesn’t. I don’t either.”

Blaine picked up another fry, tapping it absentmindedly in the pool of ketchup on the plate. “And just so you know … I invited the study group.”

Sebastian arced an eyebrow his way. “And you’re telling me this why?”

“Because I may have noticed that you and Paul don’t exactly get along.”

“Was it that obvious? Because I was really trying to be subtle.”

“You may have missed the mark on that one by an inch or two.”

“Pity.” Sebastian grabbed a fry, deciding to join Blaine in the feeding frenzy to give his hands something to do. “Hey, just a question but have you ever told Kurt about Captain Pincushion?”

Blaine shrugged. “I must have.” He stopped munching a moment to give it some genuine thought. “Huh …”

“What do you mean huh?” Sebastian asked, squirreling another fry away before Blaine could lick the plate clean.

“To be honest, I don’t think he ever came up.”

“That’s convenient.”

“It’s not like that, man. We’re the leave work and school at the door types. That way we don’t spend the whole night rehashing the stress of the day. We just focus on each other.”

“I guess that makes sense,” Sebastian said, fidgeting his pen as the remainder of the fries made a hasty retreat into Blaine’s mouth. “But you guys do talk eventually, don’t you?”

“Of course we do,” Blaine said, looking only mildly offended. “We don’t keep secrets. Never have.”

“Well, I really think you should.”

Blaine’s head snapped up so quickly, Sebastian heard something crack. “You really think I should keep secrets from Kurt?”

“Tell Kurt about your lab partner!” Sebastian groaned.

“Okay, but I don’t know what you think there is to tell.”

“For one thing, that man has some serious eyes for you. He’s going to make a play for you, if he hasn’t already.”

“Paul?” Blaine snorted, the thought ludicrous. “What makes you think that?”

“Because …” Sebastian paused, managing to swipe the last stunted, overcooked fry, narrowly missing having his fingers bitten off “… it takes an asshole to know an asshole.”

[komahinasecretexchange]

Title: Pink Cheeks and Wisps of White

Author: @phantasmagorighoul

For: @saintmae

Rating/Warnings: just a warning for minor internalized homophobia on komaeda’s side! nothing major.

Prompt: “Anything about the two of them having a relationship is okay with me!! Feel free to play around with their relationship dynamics, who made the first move, what it’s like for them to be together." 

Author’s notes: hello!! i’m your secret santa for the exchange! <3 i originally was going to do a kamukomahina piece but couldn’t think of anything for the longest time (i’m sorry!), so i decided to do something with this prompt instead, mostly ‘who made the first move’! i hope you enjoy!! (also, i think tumblr may have messed with my formatting a bit, so once this is posted here, a copy of this fic will be available on my ao3 where it’s for sure unaltered!)

Breakfasts on Jabberwock were really nice.

Everyone was still slowly getting used to being there, so not everybody showed all the time; there were a lot of people who were reminded too much of what happened in the Program to want to go and regroup where they used to do headcounts to ensure everyone survived the night. That was perfectly understandable.

But for those who did go, breakfast was arguably the best part of the day. It was incredibly refreshing to see each other again–alive and okay–and, to Hajime’s surprise, a lot of the past seemed to be exactly that–the past. Victims sat with the blackeneds that killed them, laughing and sharing stories from the lives they lived previous to their sophomore year. Teruteru got up extra early every single morning to cook; he’d even taken the time to memorize everyone’s favorite dish so he could incorporate them the best he could.

Hajime was relieved. By some stroke of luck, every single person had woken up even though they had a small chance of doing so, and he’d been able to (mostly) become himself again despite all of the tampering done to his brain. He enjoyed getting to talk to the friends he’d made inside the Program as if they had all been friends even before then, bouncing around between tables to have fragmented conversations and see how they were doing.

The one he sat with the most, though, was Nagito Komaeda.

He’d woken up last and Hajime had been there to personally help him up, and since then, Nagito seemed to be glued to Hajime the most out of the group. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing; he didn’t cling to him or stalk him, but when it came to group situations, Nagito tended to follow him around like a lost puppy even if he didn’t say anything. Hajime truthfully didn’t mind; after all, Nagito had been the closest thing he had to a best friend in the Program until he had snapped. (Even after that, in a strange sort of way, Nagito still felt like his best friend, just distanced and strained.)

When it came to breakfast, Nagito always sat across the room by himself, only joining the others when prompted (which was seldom to never). Hajime always found it fairly sad–everybody else got a second chance, and it was only fair to give him one too–so he sat with him and talked to him more than the others. He told himself it wasn’t entirely out of pity; it wasn’t, truly, because Hajime enjoyed his company. Judging by the way Nagito would always gently smile as a faint blush dusted his pale cheeks anytime Hajime would sit across from him, Hajime figured Nagito enjoyed his, too.

This morning was no different; Akane and Nekomaru laughed heartily as they stuffed their faces together, Sonia, Kazuichi, and Gundham all sat together and chatted amongst themselves, and Mahiru and Ibuki stood by the food too distracted by conversation to grab anything yet.

Nagito was in his usual spot, nudging a potato around his plate uninterestedly, half-tempted to get up and leave.

“God, you eat like a bird.”

He lifted his head, met by Hajime as he slid into the seat across from him, plate piled high. Wordlessly, the brunet tilted his over a bit, pushing some fruit and eggs onto the nearly-empty plate before taking a piece of toast off of his and setting it on top. Nagito chuckled lightly as Hajime settled in, nudging Nagito’s plate back towards him.

“You need meat on your bones,” he urged, taking a bite of his own toast, “so eat it. And I know you like everything there, so don’t use that excuse, either.”

“Such an aggressive way of caring,” Nagito smiled, tucking white hair behind his ear. Despite his lack of appetite, he picked up his fork and stabbed a strawberry, popping it into his mouth to please the man across from him. Hajime hummed in response, politely swallowing before speaking.

“Of course.”

He wasn’t exactly sure what else to say, but it felt like enough, so the two sat in comfortable silence as they eavesdropped on the others.

The mechanical whirring had snapped Hajime back to reality, eyes flicking down to watch as Nagito flexed his fingers.

“How are you doing with that? Okay?”

Nagito nodded, flexing them a bit more before picking up the glass of water in front of him with it; his arm trembled and the water threatened to spill out, but he didn’t drop the glass once. He took a drink and set it back down.

“It’s getting better,” Nagito explained, rubbing the metal wrist with his organic hand, “I’ve been trying to do more things with my left side than I usually would. I’m just so used to completely ignoring my left hand that it’s easy to forget that the prosthetic is even there.”

Hajime nodded, examining it from where he was sitting.

“Thank you for building it for me.”

Hajime lifted his head again, Nagito’s gaze averted as the pink blush was back on his cheeks. The tips of his ears were a bit red, but thanks to his luck, his hair was wild enough to hide them from the other. Hajime laughed, nudging Nagito’s shin with his foot, which only seemed to deepen the blush.

“You don’t have to thank me anymore, you know,” he teased, “You’ve thanked me plenty of times since we’ve put it on. I know you’re thankful, Nagito; you’re welcome.”

Nagito’s pulse thumped so hard against his paper-thin skin that it was a wonder Hajime couldn’t see it against his neck. He blinked a little, smiling as he looked down at his plate to avoid looking at the brunet too long. Hajime just chalked it up to Nagito being Nagito and continued to eat, every so often urging the other to keep eating as well.

They continued making small talk until Hajime decided Nagito had eaten a decent amount; he excused himself so he could get up and talk to the others for a bit, but when he went to go back to his seat, Nagito had already left. A pang of disappointment hit the Hope’s chest, but only for a moment; he had just wanted to talk to him more, as all. He helped Teruteru clean everything up as the others began to leave as well.

The bittersweet thing about Jabberwock was that nobody really had jobs–everything was provided to them by the Future Foundation. Eventually they would get to go back to the mainland, but for the time being, they didn’t have to worry about anything and had all the free time in the world.

Hajime knew that it would one day become boring (and an echo in the back of his mind already claimed that it was), but he was content with it now.

Typically, whenever he didn’t have plans, he’d wander around the island until he found something to do. After breakfast, Kazuichi invited him to hang out for a while, which he did; after visiting with Kazuichi, he stopped by Mikan’s cottage to make sure she was okay since she had been avoiding leaving unless she absolutely had to. Once ensured she was alright, Hajime couldn’t think of anything else to do, so he chose to go to the library and pick a random book to read cover to cover.

The library was huge, and it (thankfully) wasn’t vandalized like the library in the Program had been. There were stacks of books on the floor where they had been taken out ages ago and never returned to their shelves; the air smelled old in the best possible way. The sound of Hajime’s steps echoed against the wide open space as he walked between the towering bookcases, wandering into the middle area where a handful of tables lingered. He had no idea what book he wanted to read; he figured he could just peruse the shelves and see what caught his eye.

“Ah, Hinata-kun!”

Hajime turned towards the direction of the voice; hidden between some of the stacks on the upper level was Nagito. He gave a wave of his metal hand before finding one of the ladders, holding on with one hand with a couple of books tucked under his other. Hajime went over to take them out from under him so the white-haired man could safely get to the ground floor. When Nagito’s feet hit the tile, he lifted his head with a gentle smile of appreciation, his cheeks pink again.

His cheeks are always so flushed and warm.

Hajime’s heart skipped against his ribs and he scratched his head so he could focus on a sensation someplace other than his chest.

“If I’d have known you were going to come here, I would have offered to walk with you!” Nagito ran a hand through his fluffed hair, striding over to one of the tables. Hajime instinctively followed, the other’s books still under his own arm.

“I didn’t originally plan to. I just got bored, as all.” Hajime tended to get bored fairly easily; Nagito knew this was because of Izuru. The luckster sat down, nudging away some of the hardcover books that had already been on top of the polished oak to make room for the books he had chosen.

“Ah, I understand. I figured I would come here and continue reading from where I left off the other day; I don’t have much better to do.”

“Of course! I forgot you were a bookworm.” Hajime smiled, sitting down in the chair next to the other, setting the books in front of him. Oddly enough, he could feel Nagito tense next to him and saw him shift uncomfortably out of the corner of his eye. When he glanced over to see what was wrong, Nagito’s soft green eyes were a bit averted, yet his body was angled politely towards him. Hajime was somewhat confused but didn’t press any further; Nagito could get nervous sometimes and he suspected that he might have been having an off day.

Looking back to the stack of books he’d carried for the other, Hajime read each title in his head as he shuffled through them, the smile on his face fading a bit as he entered analytical mode. Nagito was silent, but a pale hand reached over and tried to gently tug a book from underneath Hajime’s grip.

There seems to be a common theme here.

“Human sexuality… that seems like it would be interesting to read about,” Hajime said, nudging the books back over to Nagito. “I always thought it was cool.”

The luckster laughed almost forcefully and nervously, pulling them on the other side of himself so they were almost hidden away from the brunet. “Me too.”

Hajime furrowed his brow, a little confused, but sensed the other’s worsening nerves and attempted to drive the conversation further. “Is that why you’re reading about it? Just out of curiosity?”

Nagito nodded, giving him a small grin, but it was hard for him to hide the tense body language he held. “Yes, just… curious.”

Hajime nodded in return, waiting for the man to go on; he didn’t, his smile distancing further away from a smile and closer to a grimace. The brunet cleared his throat, trying to glance past the arms wrapped in the green jacket to get a peek at the spines again. Nagito shifted in his seat and strategically pushed them further behind him.

“What are you reading about now in specifics? Statistics? Community?”

The white-haired man hummed, looking away as he chuckled in thought. “Um…”

Much to Hajime’s surprise, he didn’t say anything else. His expression fell shamefully as if he were caught with his hand in the cookie jar and his cheeks began to burn. Hajime sat in wait of a response, but it didn’t even seem like Nagito could think of anything to say.

Silence hung in the air long enough for it to become awkward. Puzzle pieces began to shift together in Hajime’s head.

The nerves, the topic, the cute pink cheeks.

Ah–stop focusing on that!

“Nagito,” Hajime started, tilting his head with a soft, knowing smile. “We’re best friends, right?”

Nagito’s cheeks burned a bit darker and he squeezed his hands together tightly in his lap. He stuttered over his words. “Ah, ah, um–I–yes.”

“I don’t want you to be offended by me asking you something, okay?” Hajime turned to look his friend in the eye, who was wearing an expression that told the brunet that he was likely internally panicking but was trying to hide it. Nagito didn’t stop him, though, and nodded.

“Of course, H-Hinata-kun. What’s on your mind…?” His voice cracked.

“Looking at these books–and thinking about some of the things you’ve said and done before–Nagito, are you gay?” Hajime laughed lightly, feeling a bit ridiculous in his wording. In this day and age, it’s not really a big deal. “Come to think of it, you’ve never said a single flirtatious thing towards any of the girls, have you? The guys, however…” Hajime’s own cheeks flushed as he began to realize how many teasing things Nagito had said to him before.

Actually, a good majority of those flirtatious things are targeted at me…

Nagito just blinked for a moment, looking as if he were a deer in the headlights. His cheeks were dusted with a deep red rather than his typical pink and his chest rose and fell at a quicker rate. Green eyes searched Hajime over, pupils dilated as he tried to think of something to say. Unable to get the words to come out, the white-haired man abruptly stood up, bangs hanging in his face as he pulled his jacket tightly around himself.

“I–I’m sorry, Hinata, I have to go–” His voice trailed off as he shook his head and held up a hand in apology, quickly striding toward the entrance.

“No–wait–Nagito!” Hajime called with his hands out, standing up in panic, “That wasn’t supposed to sound like a bad thing!”

By some miracle, the luckster stopped in his tracks, arms wrapped protectively around himself as he stood with his back to Hajime. He said nothing for a few moments, Hajime’s blood loud in his ears as he feared he made a terrible, terrible mistake. Nagito turned his head a bit, and the vulnerability visible on his face made Hajime’s chest twinge in an unidentifiable emotion.

“It’s… not…?”

“Of course not, Nagito,” Hajime let out a sigh of relief, smiling gently, “It was just a question. That’s all. It doesn’t matter whatsoever what your sexuality is! You’re my best friend; I just kind of figured you’d be more open about something like that with me, I’m sorry.”

Nagito blinked, turning to face Hajime, but he still stood where he was and hugged himself. He looked on the verge of tears, eyes looking someplace by Hajime’s feet, his mouth tight. Izuru droned from deep within him that he should have just left it at that and changed the subject, but Hajime didn’t have anywhere near as much impulse control. His voice was low and gentle as he spoke again.

“How long have you known?”

Nagito was silent, swallowing as he considered the answer to Hajime’s question. The brunet still stood in front of his chair, determined to make the other feel comfortable enough to come back over where he had been before. Finally, Nagito lifted his head, walking back over with cautious steps.

“Since grade school,” he explained, breathy voice soft as if he were suddenly aware that they were in a library, “I always thought the boys in my classes were cute. Girls liked me, but I didn’t even really care.” Hajime sat back down as Nagito drew closer, and he was glad he did when the other sat back in his seat, hands folded nervously in his lap as he picked at his fingers. “I thought it was normal. I didn’t realize that I was expected to like girls and not boys.”

Hajime nodded, allowing Nagito the space to vent if he needed it, but he seemed to want to leave it at that, turning his head with downcast eyes. The brunet smiled, leaning in a bit.

“Wow, that’s really cool you learned that about yourself so early!” Hajime felt his cheeks flare with heat in horrified anticipation of what was about to spill from his mouth, but he forced himself to say it anyway. “I only realized in high school, haha.”

Nagito suddenly came back to life, snapping his head in his direction with a gaze that looked borderline horrified. His eyes were blown wide and his mouth hung open as he reeled back a bit, hand to his chest.

“Hajime–you’re–?”

“–Well, not exactly gay; I’m bisexual,” Hajime explained calmly, trying to convey that this really wasn’t a big deal even though he was positive he was as red as the design on Nagito’s jacket. He laughed it off, even as Nagito’s own face flushed. “I always had a thing for girls, but my freshman year, I started getting crushes on a couple of guys in homeroom. I think the reason I realized so late was because none of the guys from my hometown class were really that attractive.”

Nagito nodded, looking to the side, his expression still shocked. His hands trembled in his lap and Hajime frowned; he was still nervous, which wasn’t good.

“No big deal,” Hajime repeated, smiling gently at Nagito when he lifted his gaze, “See?”

The other nodded again, his eyes drifting further down Hajime’s face, fixated on his lips with a far-gone expression. The brunet felt his heart thump harder in his chest, but he forced himself to stay put and wait for whatever the other did next. Nagito eventually looked back up, tucking wispy white hair behind his red ear, and stood back up on slightly-trembling legs.

“T-Thank you, for your–a-ah–support, H–H–” Nagito squeezed his eyes shut and dug his nails into his palms, swallowing, “–HHHHHinata. Kun.”

If Hajime was a bit skeptical about the apparent crush he’d realized Nagito had on him over the course of the time they were sitting there, he was nearly positive about it now. He sat slightly mesmerised as he watched Nagito wipe his palms on his black skinny jeans, pulling his jacket further around himself.

“I–I forgot, I promised Tsumiki-san I’d meet her f-for, um, tea,” the luckster smiled, visibly horrified (and a very bad liar, Hajime noted), “s-so I should probably get going before I’m late.”

Nagito bowed politely, chain on his belt clinking against itself as he moved. “T–Thank you for spending time with me–Hajime–! Even though it was short!”

“Ah, of course, Nagi–”

Hajime furrowed his brow with an intrigued grin as Nagito hurried away, not even allowing his friend to finish his sentence. The brunet sat in stunned silence as he listened to the soft footsteps echo further and further away (quickening in pace closer to the door he got); he didn’t move until he heard the door close, clicking in the latch.

Well, that was something… though, I feel kind of bad… I didn’t mean to scare him.

The Hope scratched his head, his heart light in his chest. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that it was slightly assholish to put the other man on the spot like that–clearly, Nagito was a little insecure about himself, even though he had no reason to be. After all, nobody on the island would care what his preference was! In fact, Hajime was almost certain that Teruteru and Mahiru were both open about being bisexual and lesbian, respectively, and no one batted an eye. He wouldn’t tell Nagito this, but Kazuichi and Ibuki had both asked Hajime what way Nagito leant on separate occasions. Whenever the others would joke with Nagito about ogling the girls–on the beach, for example–he would laugh it off and insist that he respected the girls far too much to stare at them. At first, Hajime thought this was because he was a respectful guy (and he truly was), but thinking about it now, he realized he likely did so because he simply wasn’t interested in any of them.

Hajime did, however, catch Nagito innocently blushing around Nekomaru when he’d take his shirt off on a hot day, or Kazuichi when he’d tie his hair back with his face slicked with lithium grease, or Hajime when he’d say something particularly funny.

Or Hajime when he’d ramble on to Nagito about how important he was when he was having a bad day, or Hajime when he’d ask him questions about his physical and mental health to make sure he was doing alright, or Hajime when he’d agree to hang out with him.

Come to think of it, Nagito blushed a lot when he talked to Hajime.

The brunet found himself blushing in return, touching his cheeks as he felt them burning. His heart fluttered and he cursed it–not knowing why–but the more he tried to fight it, the lighter it became.

There may have been a small possibility that Hajime was flattered and also slightly infatuated with the luckster.

Why though? I’d never thought about this before…

And it was true–he hadn’t. But he’d always thought Nagito was incredibly beautiful for a man; his skin was like snow and completely free of imperfections. His hair was wild yet tamed at the same time, wispy and framing around his defined face. He, even after what had happened in the game, tried his best to smile and have a positive outlook on life for the others, even if he didn’t have that same outlook towards himself. He was always kind and gentle.

Realizing that Nagito–to a degree–also found Hajime attractive had been the icing on the cake, apparently.

Hajime shook his head to try and free himself from the thoughts and glanced back at the books sitting on the table.

He smiled warmly at the thought of the luckster carefully picking them out, eager to see what information hid between the covers.

Another thought crossed his mind that made him chuckle out loud.

“Wait, Mikan doesn’t even like tea.”

…

Hajime had been hoping to sit with Nagito at dinner to ease his nerves (and also see if his heart grew airy now that he’d realized he had a slight crush). However, for the whole hour and a half that was open for the Remnants to eat, the taller man never appeared. The brunet opted to sit with Sonia, Gundham, and Kazuichi instead, laughing and talking with them, but the other never left the back of his mind.

I really hope I didn’t offend him or embarrass him too badly.

Once everybody who came dispersed, Hajime went back to his cottage, glancing at Nagito’s door before he went inside. Light shone through the crack next to the doormat, so he knew he was home. He thought about stopping by, but he decided against it, figuring he needed to recharge.

He’d showered, watched TV for a while, and ultimately decided to lay down at 10. It was funny that some of the killing game habits remained instilled within everyone even though the rules were no longer in place–everyone instinctively rose at 7 as well. He was tired, but as he laid in bed trying to sleep, he found that he couldn’t. His mind kept drifting to Nagito.

Nagito, Nagito, Nagito.

Every time he mulled over his name, his appearance, or his personality, Hajime felt his heart move further up his throat.

I’m… attracted to Nagito Komaeda.

At the beginning of the day, if someone had told him that he was, he would have laughed it off–he wouldn’t have realized the signs. Perhaps he would’ve thought of it as a harmless squish, but something about knowing that it was reciprocated tenfold made Hajime feel much more serious about it.

Nagito Komaeda is attracted to me.

Hajime supposed he always was; he had nearly confessed to him in the game, now that he thought about it, before aborting the confession last second. He’d showered him with gifts (like his favorite mochi) and was overly protective of the brunet. (Actually, he’d had liar’s disease and told Hajime that he hated him–had he confessed right then and he was only JUST NOW realizing?? Was he really that dumb?)

He hadn’t realized he’d gotten out of bed and slid his shoes on until he was shuffling along the dock, night air chilly on his skin.

He almost felt like he was outside of his body and watching himself as he knocked on Nagito’s door, standing in wait.

Izuru, is this you that’s driving me to do this?

Hajime could almost hear the monotone in the back of his mind, complaining of getting bored of the repetitive thoughts. I don’t want to listen to you mull this over much longer. It is better to act than to dwell.

The other didn’t come to the door, and Hajime rubbed his arms in an attempt to warm them up, the water making the air colder than usual. After another beat of no answer, the Hope went to turn on his heel, figuring he could always check in on him tomorrow.

The door behind him clicked open, warmth from the cottage gracing over the backs of his arms. Hajime turned his head, met by Nagito, who had the door cracked open just enough to see out of it.

Hajime concluded that he was most definitely on autopilot for the time being when he blinked at the white-haired luckster, no hesitation whatsoever. He didn’t even allow the other to get a word in.

“Nagito, do you want to go on a date?”

Hajime thought he was going to have to catch Nagito before he fell, shock spreading across his face as he choked, grasping at his chest. Soft cotton balled in his fist and he hunched over slightly and gasped for air.

“Hinata–are you trying to give me a heart attack–?”

It was an interesting reaction, to say the least, but Hajime forced Izuru to stop treating the man like a social experiment and more like the fragile guy he was. He supposed Izuru couldn’t really help it; he was wired that way–to seek after anything he could find interesting.

He reached out to place his cold hands on Nagito’s biceps to steady him, the pale skin burning hot. “Hey, hey, Nagito, relax, it’s okay!”

The luckster lifted his head; his green eyes were dilated immensely as he looked the Hope over, trying to catch his breath. He was so, so vulnerable, and Hajime felt slightly honored that he was one of the only ones who had ever seen him like this.

“Can I come in?”

Nagito swallowed and nodded, turning and floating into his cottage. Hajime followed, shutting the door behind him, watching from the mat as Nagito sat on his bed (it was messy, Hajime noted, he must have been sleeping). Frail arms wrapped around his own torso, pulling his legs up to cross them against the sheets. He wore pajama pants that were almost a size too big, falling down a little and revealing sharp hipbones.

“You know, Hajime,” Nagito finally said, voice breathy as he was on the verge of tears, “it’s not nice to tease.”

“I’m not teasing you,” Hajime responded immediately, sounding a bit hurt at the idea, “I’m serious.”

Nagito just shook his head, inhaling sharply as he hid his face in his hands. Hajime approached him carefully, not wanting to upset him further but not wanting to leave him as he was.

“I should have tried harder,” Nagito began, voice muffled in his hands, “I shouldn’t have admitted it so easily. I should have denied it.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Hajime insisted, moving closer. He sat down on the bed slowly as to not disturb the luckster much.

“I wish I didn’t mess everything up. I wish I could just be normal,” Nagito sniffled, and Hajime happened to notice that his hands were wet with tears, “What bad luck. I wish I could swallow my feelings, but I–” He wiped his eyes, wedging a hand in his hair, “–but I can’t–”

“–Nagito, please listen for a minute!” Hajime threw an arm around the other’s shoulders, pulling him close and strapping his other arm around his chest. Nagito seemed a bit thrown off by the embrace but welcomed it. “You’re normal. Your feelings don’t make you any less ‘normal’. Ignoring your feelings isn’t healthy. I’m glad you trusted me enough to tell me, but I also want to apologize.”

The fragile man looked over to the Hope with glistening green eyes, confused. Hajime cleared his throat, reaching out to hold a wet hand. It didn’t bother him no matter how self-conscious Nagito silently was about it.

“I didn’t realize that you weren’t exactly comfortable in your skin just yet. I didn’t mean to put you on the spot like that; it was rude of me and I’m really sorry.” Hajime looked at the plaid of Nagito’s pants, squeezing his hand. “It was just a genuine, honest question. I think no differently of you than I did before. If anything, haha…” The brunet tilted his head; it was his turn for his cheeks to dust pink. “It made me realize that I might be attracted to you? Just a little?”

Nagito’s tired eyes were wide as he looked Hajime over in disbelief, mouth hung open slightly. His hand was still held by the other, and in a move of nervous longing, the luckster intertwined their fingers. His heart panged when Hajime didn’t pull away, rather squeezing his hand tighter.

“What…?” He finally spoke. He seemed a little hurt, but only because he felt that Hajime was wasting his time on someone like him. “Why?”

“Why not?” Hajime countered mindlessly. “You’re gentle, you’re sweet, you’re pretty…” He looked to the ceiling, sucking in a deep breath before he continued. “You always spend time with me even though you could spend time with the others. You deal with my insistence that you take care of yourself better and you actually do if I push you hard enough. You put up with my temper and my issues with geometry.” He stifled a giggle out of the other, which he took to be a good sign. He smiled himself, chuckling. “What the fuck is a dodecahedron?”

Nagito began to laugh, eyes slightly hidden behind the apples of his cheeks as he smiled, and Hajime’s cheeks burned lightly. The paler man put his metal hand overtop Hajime’s that he held in his organic one, squeezing carefully with the prosthetic.

“Okay, okay, Hinata-kun,” His skin was flushed beautifully. “I… didn’t realize you had feelings as well.”

He actually didn’t openly admit to having feelings until now. I had just put two and two together.

“I don’t think I realized either,” Hajime admitted, “because I thought you were straight.”

“Huh?” Nagito was shocked again, but for an entirely different reason. “Really?”

“Yeah. I always thought you were pretty, but I don’t think I let myself get fixated on it for too long because I didn’t want to catch feelings for someone I didn’t have a chance with. Nobody else on this island compares to you.”

Nagito was flattered–he instinctively wanted to argue, but his mind trailed back to Hajime trying to get him to talk better about himself. He thought it was ironic that he’d considered Hajime the unreachable one; the idea that Hajime thought the same thing about him seemed insane.

Though not impossible, apparently, he supposed.

The white-haired man let Hajime’s hand go, pulling back and chuckling lightly. “What luck… I wonder what bad luck will follow this?” He looked up at the other, wiping his cheek again. “Hinata-kun thinking I’m pretty… I really am lucky.”

Hajime knew there was a compliment in there somewhere, but he made the decision to brush it off to focus on reassurance instead. “Enough with your luck; can’t you allow yourself to be happy, Nagito?” The brunet brushed some of the white hair behind his ear. “You and I both know that our luck counters the other. Our luck is forfeit as long as we’re close. Nothing bad could follow this because I cancel you out.”

Boldly, Hajime reached out to hold Nagito’s chin, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. “You deserve to be happy, so you should be.”

The luckster nearly melted, giggling and hugging himself in reaction. Hajime chuckled tiredly, pleased that the other no longer seemed bothered by the earlier events. Seeing Nagito genuinely smile made him feel butterflies; he was truly gorgeous. The prettiest boy he’d ever seen.

Hajime rubbed one of his eyes in fatigue. “So? What do you think?”

Nagito sighed in content, splaying his hands across his knees with a small grin on his face. Ultimately, he looked up, gaze gentle and genuine.

“If you mean this, Hinata-kun, and you truly wish to take me on a date–” Nagito smiled and Hajime’s heart melted, “–then I’d love to.”

The brunet broke out into a grin, feeling giddy like a high schooler. “Great!”

“Great!” Nagito echoed, nervous now for an entirely different reason.

“Then! I should go!” Hajime stood, and Nagito nodded in understanding, nodding too. “I don’t want to keep you up! Sorry to bother!”

“You aren’t bothering me, Hinata-kun,” Nagito chuckled, smiling behind his hand, “You can come to me any time. Isn’t that what best friends are for?”

“Hahaha! Yeah!” Hajime heard Izuru taunting him in the back of his mind for being so awkward. What happened here? You’ve lost your composure. He made his way to the door and opened it. “So–I’ll see you tomorrow at breakfast. Yeah?”

The luckster nodded, smiling with his teeth as Hajime drifted out onto the dock again. “Yes, I’ll be there.”

“Okay! Cool! Goodnight, Nagito!”

Nagito’s eyes were warm as he cracked the door. “Goodnight, Hinata-kun. Sleep well.”

The first thing Hajime did when he got back to his cottage was hit his back against the door and let out a loud groan, sliding down onto the floor.

What the hell was that?

Why had he suddenly gotten so nervous? Nagito seemed to be fine. Everything went swimmingly. Nagito felt better and he’d scored a date. They were going on a date. He was going on a date with the gorgeous, elusive Nagito Komaeda.

Oh… my god.

He couldn’t believe he’d actually done that. He wasn’t one to act on impulse very often.

But don’t you feel better now? Nagito certainly does.

Izuru could be a pain sometimes, but Hajime could be thankful for him every so often.

He’d climbed back into bed and slept like a baby. He had no idea what they were going to do on their date, but he felt like a teenager again as he dreamt of wispy white hair and pink-dusted cheeks.

[mymind2020]

A Few Lessons:

I’ve just turned 22 and I was thinking about a few things I learned the past year, and I thought I would share with others.  If you have any good life advice, I probably definitely need it so please send it my way. 

1. It is okay to reach out to old friends. 

There’s some people that should be left in the past... but there might be that one person that you drifted apart from that you feel you should reach out to, and that’s okay! 

I had a best friend back in college, we were close as sisters for a time and then we stopped talking. She ended up moving away, and we didn’t see each other for 3 years. A few months ago, I reached out and we started talking to each other again and she came down to see my for my birthday and I ended up having the best time in a very long time. 

Sometimes, you need a break from someone or something to really appreciate it/them. 

2. It is okay to cut people out of your life. 

You’re allowed to chose who is in your life... whether that’s a friend, a family member, or even a work colleague. If someone is making your life toxic, then bin them Hunny. 

I broke up with my boyfriend that I was with for 3 years a week before my birthday, and told my ‘best friend’ not to come on my birthday due to the drama she causes.  Listen to your gut - if your gut is telling you to cut them off, then it’s for the best. 

Life is too short to be wasting it on people that bring drama, negativity, and just unnecessary hassle. 

3. You are allowed to put yourself first and you are allowed to focus on yourself. 

Like I said above, I broke up with my boyfriend that I was with for 3 years. Yes, I do love him but right now, I need to learn to love myself and learn who I am again as an individual. 

I haven’t been happy with how I am physically and mentally for quite a while now, and it’s put a massive strain on my relationship and it was causing a lot of arguments which wasn’t fair on either of us. 

I’m going to use this time to look after myself inside and out, by spending more time with myself, eating better, more exercise just focusing all my energy on making myself happy .... and I need to do this by myself. 

4. You’re allowed to be angry with people.

We have emotions for a reason, and it’s okay to embrace every single one of them. 

Usually when I’m angry with someone, I feel pretty bad as a person for allowing myself to have these ‘negative’ feelings.... but I have learnt that sometimes you need to be angry or to experience certain emotions to create life lessons. If you’re angry at yourself, then you learn not to do that again.  If you’re angry at someone, then you tell them not to do it again, or you don’t see that person anymore. 

Just be careful on how you act when you are angry. You can be angry whiles still being calm about it the situation. 

5. It’s okay to need help.

Just because you need help doesn’t mean...

You’re weak. 

You’re less of a human being. 

That you deserve less. 

That you’re taking a step back. 

There’s many feelings that you might get when you need help, either financially, emotionally, either with your child... so on. But everyone needs help with someone some time in your life and that is okay. 

Like Bill Withers said...  

Lean on me, when you're not strong And I'll be your friend I'll help you carry on For it won't be long 'Til I'm gonna need Somebody to lean on 

6. You are allowed to feel beautiful. 

Not much else to say about this one. You are beautiful, and you’re allowed to feel it. 

Along with being confident, brave, sexy and just being who you are as you are. Love ya. 

7. Life if BEAUTIFUL. 

Yes, shit happens but that doesn’t mean that your life can’t be beautiful, or not worth living. It’s all to do with your frame of mind, and how you look at things. 

When something happens, there’s a few things I have told myself to keep myself going in the best way possible. 

1. Everything happens for a reason. 2. Only times will tell.  3. This is a blessing in disguise. 4. I could be overthinking this.  5. Someone’s got it much worst then me.

8. Your health is important. 

Mentally, physically and spiritually.... every part of your health is important and it is key to look after it so that we can live as long as we can, and as happily as possible. 

Spend time focusing on how to improve your health. 

If you feel like your physical health isn’t as great as it can be, then spend time doing a few exercises, and eating better. Your body does incredible things, so give it some TLC. 

If you’re lacking energy, then take an evening off to get an early night. Run yourself a hot bubble bath and relax, or maybe try meditation to clear your mind. 

It’s the little things that you do for yourself that makes a huge difference.

Your body loves you, so give it a little love back <3

9. Saving money is a must. 

I was a dumb ass when I started my first proper job and I decided to get out a lot of contracts when I was younger that I’m only now starting to finish paying... like phones, Ipads, AirPods of my sister and I... a bloody car finance and god knows what else just simply because I thought I was ‘’ballin’’.... listen to your parents kids.

Each month I have hefty bills and I’m not left with much for the est of the month... and now that I have plans on going on holidays with friends, and wanting to rent my own place, I’m stuck until I pay off everything. Again, you live and learn. 

Saving is must also for when a rainy day comes. And there will come a mega rainy day at some point. 

10. Just because they’re blood doesn’t make them family / Doesn’t me that they’re not blood that they’re not family. 

....and I mean exactly that. You chose who’s your family. 

[the-black-dragons-den]

Hello! How're things going with you these days? Hope it's going alright

Hi! I’ve been meaning to respond to this for days but I also wanted to take this as an opportunity to just kind of, elaborate on my life because it’s been kind of crazy! I am so sorry for turning this into a novel about myself because a simple “I’m doing better, thanks!” probably would have sufficed to answer, but I also needed to get this all out!

Also you know you are one of my favorite mutuals, I adore your blog, and your presence on my tumblr feed always makes me smile! Thank you for checking in with me, that’s super sweet of you!

TLDR; My mental health is a daily struggle but I’m taking real steps to take care of myself. My financial situation has dramatically improved, I didn’t catch Coronavirus, and in general things are looking up! I’m also trying to decide what the heck to do with my life - seek a better job now or go back to school to train to get a better job. 

Here’s the long version!

At the end of last year, my fiance and I both quit our jobs due to a SUPER toxic work environment. That lead to a very long and stressful battle to win my unemployment benefits from that employer (but I did win eventually!) That whole thing was really hard on my mental health, but worth it in the end. Even with that, we basically blew through all of our very meager year-long savings (that was intended to go toward my fiance’s much needed dental work) for rent and groceries, right around the 2019 holidays so that was a really hard time. We both found jobs (mine part-time and his first one temporary and his current one full-time and awesome) but we still spent the first couple months of this year going to the food bank every week and barely making rent. We’ve been in hard times like that before but having to spend ALL of our savings was gut-wrenching. 

So, roughly 3 weeks after my fiance got his new awesome job, Coronavirus became a big threat in our area and he was immediately laid off. Luckily, he was guaranteed his job back, and was able to get unemployment during that time. I’m still on unemployment while I’m working this part-time job, but more on that later. Anyway, that means we both received the extra pandemic benefits with our unemployment payments. 

My job now is merchandising, which means that I work for a company that’s contracted by stores in the area, and I go to those stores and do things like setting displays, compliance scanning, etc. Honestly, so few people who don’t work as merchandisers know the job even exists, but I promise that a bunch of the displays at your local stores are not put there or stocked by store employees. It’s part-time, I work independently and for the most part don’t have to interact with a ton of people (which is really helpful for my anxiety). So, all in all, not a bad job for me, especially while I try to figure out what’s next.--

---Anyway, I didn’t stop working at all during the pandemic, which was good for our finances but again, hard on my mental health. (This is kind of whiny but it was incredibly wearing that I was an essential worker, but I watched other essential workers get raises and hazard pay and an outflow of support, and because people don’t know merchandisers are a thing, no one really thought to thank or support us, or give us more money.) I actually took on several more stores during April and May to cover for coworkers. I really am grateful to have had a job but let me tell you, being out there in the pool of stress exuding from everyone’s pores every day for hours at a time really wound my brain up. 

However! Despite the mental health struggle that, let’s be honest, is impossible to avoid with my pre-existing conditions and the state of the world, things are looking up! Between unemployment benefits, the stimulus, my fiance’s severance, and his return to work and subsequent promotion and raise (SO PROUD OF HIM!), we are financially more steady now than... we ever have been. We’re slowly getting his dental work taken care of, which we’ve been trying to do for nearly four years. We’re never worried about rent, we have money saved, and OH OH OH, I am now 82% paid on my debt!!! I racked up credit card debt several years ago when we were very broke (buying groceries and necessities no less) and have been paying it for 3 years now, and I’ve actually made real progress! I have a “good” credit score! That feels amazing! My fiance even accidentally dropped and shattered his phone, and we were able to order a new (still relatively inexpensive) one that night, without having to sacrifice grocery money or anything which was awesome (especialyl because he needs his phone for work).

Additionally, I recently ask my job if I could cut back on hours because I was getting so burnt out and I needed to do this for my mental health. Between my fiance and I, I’m the driver so I have to make time for errands, and because he works full time (and a decent bit of overtime), I try to handle as much of the household chores as I can. But that altogether with work and making sure we can both get to needed appointments and stuff is A LOT to handle. And because he’s making good money now, I can actually take this step back from work, cut back on my hours, and we’re not super hurting for money because of it. We’ve never had a time together when we haven’t been calculating our hours day by day, trying to get more work time at any opportunity, scraping for every cent we earned. This is so amazing and different. 

So I’ve cut back on my hours for the sake of my mental health. I’ve downloaded a mood-tracking app to try to get more insight into my patterns, moods and behaviors. I’ve made time for relaxation - long hot baths are my thing. I’m almost debt-free which is a huge weight off my shoulders. I just... want to be able to get out of bed most mornings without having a mental breakdown, that’s the first goal. It’s a struggle, but it’s a goal!

I’m also trying to make time to decide what to do with my life. I completed 2 years of college but never finished. I’ve only ever worked kind of crappy entry-level jobs. I really struggle with customer interaction (super wearing on me, makes me miserable) and I’d love to find a career where that’s limited, but I’m not sure if that means I’ll need to go back to school. My parents are also pushing me to make sure I seek a career in a field that pays well and is growing, which is logical, but has already made them discourage me out of the idea of being a paralegal, which I was really interested in... I’d like to go back to school but I really need a path before I make that decision. None of my passions (make-up, music, or being a paralegal apparently) are really things I could make a financially lucrative career out of, unless I had the dedication and talent of much healthier person, mentally. I’d like to be a forensic analyst maybe, but my parents are trying to talk me out of that one too. My dad has always wanted me to be an architect but I am not adept with math and I don’t want to design boring office buildings. In the meantime, it’s really hard to find a job that I get into without a degree, that allows me that minimal interaction with people and actually pays decently well. So I’m struggling but now I have time to actually think about it and figure it out, which is awesome. 

LASTLY, I promise ---- I have nothing but support in my heart for the BLM movement, and I have been horrified by the actions of local and national police forces, and deeply proud of some of my peers who have been going to protests daily, helping speak out against the horrors being committed upon the colored communities in our country. I have not had the ability to participate in any protests, but I can’t explain the deep emotional grief that I feel over the unjust deaths, the tear gas and rubber bullets, the plowing down of innocent people. Videos of brutality make me ache with despair but I share them because I’m so fearful that if the wrong people come out on top in this situation, these videos and records of what was done to the American people will be destroyed. Though I am lucky to be surrounded by peers who share my feelings, these events have definitely strained my already tenuous relationship with my very conservative parents, and feeling so alienated from them has brought up a lot of childhood pain. However, as a very sheltered white female, I understand that my grief and despair cannot compare to the grief of black, brown, and other non-white communities during this time. 

In conclusion, 2020 has been a real shit year so far but I’m standing here fighting back with every fiber of my being to make life better for me and my fiance, to get on top of my mental health, and to figure out what I’m doing with my life now!

[romancingromanoff]

Imagine Being In The MCU And Going On Ellen Part 1/3 (Scarlett Johansson x reader)

Part 2

You’re a guest on the Ellen show and also currently dating Scarlett Johansson. I just really love Ellen and pretending that I’m a part of the Avengers cast family like it’s a huge fantasy of mine that will never come true (rip my hopes and dreams) so I decided to make it three parts haha. BONUS POINTS IF YOU KNOW WHERE CARLA SHAW IS FROM. Reader is of an unspecified gender, I use they/them pronouns. Also, part 3 of What Happens At Disney is coming soon :)

Jumping up and down in front of the mirror in your dressing room you kept trying various dance moves to see how they looked. It was Ellen so of course you had to dance out onto the stage when she introduced you! Though you had technically met with her before at Chris Hemsworth’s birthday party, it was really just a quick “hello,” “how are you,” and a funny comment from her that made you laugh. So nerves were naturally part of the reason why you were so angst at the moment and felt like you had to get rid of a bunch of pent up energy.

Your door opened which almost made you choke on the sip of water you had in your mouth. “Y/N, you’re one in five!” the crew member tapped her watch and you could only respond with a noise that sounded a little bit like “mmhmm” with your mouth still full of your drink. Taking one last glance in the mirror, you flashed some finger guns at your reflection, immediately regretted that cringed decision, then stepped foot out into the hallway where another crew person was waiting to escort you to your place.

From stage right behind the curtain you could hear the audience’s hysteria gradually calming down after they had all won $1000 Target gift cards and Ellen sat down to introduce you. “Our next guest has taken the world by storm since we fell in love with them as Obie’s hilarious best friend, Mason, in the Netflix Original Series ‘Time To Dive.’ After a suspenseful appearance in the modern remake of ‘High Noon’ with John Hamm they joined the Avengers as a recruit with some pretty neat morphing abilities in Marvel’s newest film which is coming out next Friday. Please welcome Y/F/N Y/L/N!”

You were so overwhelmed by everyone in the crowd jumping up and down that a huge smile covered your face as you tried waving to them all while also keeping a beat in your step, which was hard to do when you couldn’t hear the music very well. Approaching the couches that you had watched all of your favorite celebrities sit in was just surreal and Ellen opening her arms up to hug you was the cherry on top. “Hi, how are you?” she said underneath the wave of all the cheering so that only you would hear.

“I’m good, thank you so much! Thank you so much for having me,” you repeated what you last said as you sat down and the clapping had died down.

“So, this is your first time on the show,” Ellen smiled.

“Yes, yes it is. And I’m so happy to be here!”

“Well, thank you so much for taking the time to stop by. I know the press tours Marvel has you doing keep your schedule super busy.” The audience let out a series of “whoos” at the sound of Marvel being mentioned.

“It’s certainly crazy and I never could have dreamed about being a part of something like this but really it’s the fans that keep it going. We owe so much to them.”

“You must have your fair share of crazy run-ins since you, you know, signed a contract with them and everything. How has going out in public changed for you?”

“It’s funny, actually,” you laugh a little bit remembering an incident that occurred about a month ago. “I mean since ‘Time to Dive’ I’ve always had fans come up to me asking for pictures and autographs; stuff like that just at restaurants and a few public places. But since I was announced as a part of the Avengers cast and started filming the run-ins have gotten a lot more frequent and I’ve found that the Marvel fans are very... um... adamant,” you laugh. “They definitely know their stuff which never fails to blow my mind.”

“I guess ‘adamant’ is one way of putting it,” Ellen jokes and you chuckle along with the crowd. “But you actually had someone like demand to take a picture with you after you had just gotten out of surgery? Is that right?”

“Oh my gosh,” your pitch got so much higher when you turned around and saw the picture from that day on the giant screen behind you. “Yeah, so it was just wisdom tooth surgery, nothing super serious but I was pretty drugged up on painkillers and loopy to say the least. Wow, okay, yeah you can see how swollen my cheeks are, aw man, and that gauze in my mouth I just look completely dead!” you remarked on the image of you with your messy bun, glasses, and sweats on as you were being pushed out of the hospital in a wheelchair.

“But you were 100% fresh out of the operating room where you were under anesthesia and a complete hot mess?” Ellen laughed as you squirmed in your seat from a mixture of embarrassment and just laughing at how hilarious you looked and how strange the situation was then.

“I don’t know if ‘hot mess’ is how I would put it, but it was definitely strange.”

“And they drug you up pretty well for this surgery, right? Like there are a lot of people who film themselves or get a relative to film them post-surgery because they’re prone to say really crazy things.”

“Honestly, I think that a part of me just thought it was standard procedure,” you admit which makes the audience crack up. “I don’t remember it too well but the fan who’s crouching next to me in the picture basically stopped me and asked for a picture and I was probably just like ‘sure, why not?’ you know? Like everything was normal.”

“Speaking of pictures, there’s a photo of you and one of your co-stars going around that’s been building up a ton of talk over the last six months,” the audience cheers as the screenshot of your instagram post comes up. It’s probably your most favorite photograph in the whole world and you can’t help but smile upon seeing it. You are your girlfriend Scarlett weren’t too public with sharing all of the details about your relationship and you both valued privacy pretty highly. As a celebrity on instagram you were pretty inactive compared to a lot of others your age since you never went live, rarely posted on your story except to promote big press events, and would go weeks or even months before you’d upload something new to your feed. Even though the photo was from six months ago, it was actually the 4th most recent on your profile. Scarlett, of course, didn’t have any social media at all and you respected her wishes to try and keep a low profile online by never posting any photos of her and you, but this picture was the one exception that she had allowed.

“That is just adorable,” Ellen smiled and the audience followed with a giant “awwwwww” which made you blush. “So this was taken on snapchat?”

“Yeah, that’s the dog filter,” you point to Scarlett’s face which has the staple dog ears and nose on her in the center. But she’s also laughing so the big pink dog tongue is sticking out with her face all crunched up as you’re giving her a big kiss on the cheek. “We’ve been dating for a little over a year,” a lot more “awes” and hoots instantly follow which makes you laugh. “But that was the first time we both felt okay with posting a photo of us just being together. It was a surprise for a lot of people; including myself too.”

Ellen gets a mischievous look on her face and leans in really close to you. “You know, it’s funny that you mention surprises because I-”

“Oh no,” you gasp suddenly clutching the arms of the chair really tight and spinning your head around to check behind you. Absolutely EVERYONE in the cast had warned you about the pranks Ellen loved to play on her show that almost made some of them pee their pants in fear. A couple of years ago when you were just another regular Marvel fan that followed all of their talkshow appearances you had watched the videos of the Chrises or Scarlett being surprised by someone in a crazy costume on repeat. It was hilarious of course, but now being in a position where it might happen to you was terrifying. You were embarrassingly easy to scare and in that moment you took back all of the times you had laughed at others being surprised on the show.

“You can relax, nothing’s back there,” Ellen reassures you while chuckles and excited squeals fill the studio. “Or maybe there is.”

Your eyes widen again and your heart drops as you turn back around.

“But, no, no there isn’t,” Ellen corrects herself. “Or is there? I don’t know.” You anxiety keeps dropping then shooting back up as she plays with you and by now your neck is hurting from straining it back so much. “I’m just kidding, I do know. And there isn’t anything,” she finally settles the tension before looking straight into one of the cameras. “But we do have a good surprise and it is not scary, I swear, coming up after the break.” You’re clutching your speeding heart in both your hands as the Ellen theme music plays cueing the commercials. The  clapping dies down quickly as a bunch of set workers being moving cameras and lighting and you follow the blonde you’ve admired for so long as she stands up and goes in for another hug.

“Hey, Y/N, you need some water?” she picks up a bottle from behind her chair and you nod. “HERE you go!” she pretends she’s about to splash it all on your shirt and you jump back making a panicked sound before you realize that she’s kept the top of it on and there’s nothing on you.

“Scarlett said to watch out for you!” you laugh and are happy to hear that your mic is off.

“Really? She did?” Ellen smiles like the two of you have known each other for years and it makes you a hundred times more comfortable. Most interviewers were so stiff and acted like robots off camera but you were finding Ellen to be extremely friendly and caring. “Me and Portia love you guys by the way.”

“Wow,” you can’t believe what you’ve just heard. “Thank you. I mean, thanks that is just crazy to hear. We love you two as well and I’ve always been a fan of your show; it’s what got me through school, haha. And, yes, Scarlett almost made me too scared to come on but I really wanted to meet you.”

“Well I’m glad that you came too. Hey, I heard that you and Scarlett were thinking about adopting a new pet?”

“Yes!” you nod your head excitedly. “We really want a dog. I grew up with two but I’m just worried about having to leave the little guy or girl at home for long periods of time or having to make them travel a lot with us.”

“Yeah I totally understand. But like for me, going home to my cats every evening and just laying on the couch with them and Portia is what keeps me sane.”

“Absolutely, same for me.”

“Woah, okay, can you just come stand over here for one second?” she pulls you to the side as a set worker instantly lifts your chair up and takes it away only to be replaced by two other crew members that have a full sized couch. That was strange. Usually you’d be told if there were going to be guests or fans that you’d have to interact with on shows but you just shrugged it off and assumed that a fan from the audience would be coming up to meet you and it was just a surprise. “Thanks.”

“And we’re back on in ten!” one of the producers yelled and you and Ellen took your seats. “Five, four, three....”

The audience was cheering once again as the music played. “Alright, we’re back with Y/F/N Y/L/N,” Ellen said looking into the camera. “And before we left we told you that there was a surprise for you.”

“Yes, and I’ve noticed that you’ve expanded the seating area so- oh wait,” you interrupted yourself to turn around to check and make sure nothing was behind you again which made the audience laugh.

“No, there’s nothing there. We actually have someone in the audience today who is a huge fan of yours that would just love to meet you.”

“Cool beans!” the audience starts shrieking and jumping up and down not knowing who it’s going to be.

“So the fan is actually completely blind but is a part time worker at Barnes & Noble and also operates rollercoasters at six flags during the summer.”

“Oh.... oh my God, I mean, that’s amazing I’d love to meet them,” you were suddenly very nervous about meeting this person.

“In a letter they wrote to us, they said ‘even though I cannot see my only dream in life is to see Y/N in person.’ From Duluth, Minnesota, please welcome Carla Shaw!”

Scanning the audience you finally catch sight of a very timid woman with frizzy red hair and dark sunglasses get up towards the top and smack dab in the middle of the aisle. Not so sure of what to do, you almost get up from your seat when you don’t see any crew members going over to help her as she shuffled her way past other audience members who are simply clapping and leaning away from her as she feels the tops of the chairs to walk towards the stairs. “I should probably help her,” you get up and jog off the stage to go assist this poor woman who’s waving her cane around feeling for where the steps are. You are shocked and almost appalled that no one else getting up to help her and you jog up the steps carefully and go to lock your elbow into hers so you can guide her down.

“Allow me,” you offer before she completely spazzes our in front of you tripping down two steps and throwing her cane in the air. “SHIT!” you scream and forget that this is daytime television. You immediately fall to your knees and go to try and help them up when you notice that they’re just sitting there laughing. That laugh. You know that laugh.

“Oh my God-“ you breath as they reach for their hair and pull off what is actually a wig and then take off the giant black glasses. “I cannot believe you!” you yell at Scarlett who’s laughing hysterically at your dumb face.

“Hey baby,” she says cheekily and you roll your eyes as the two of you get up together. The crowd is going completely bezerk and girls all around you and covering their faces with their hands, mascara dripping with tears of joy and disbelief. She pulls you in for a hug and the screams get louder which you didn’t even think was possible.

“Scarlett Johansson everybody!” Ellen is clapping from the stage as your girlfriend waves to some fans and the camera. You playfully bump your shoulder into her and she pushes you back like you’re two bumper cars as you walk down towards the stage. Once you’re up there, the two of you turn around to wave at the audience some more and you’re certain that your eardrums are permanently damaged.

“I’ll sit on this si- AHHHHHHH!”

“AHHHHH SHIT”

You both scream with horror in your eyes as you see the cushions from the couch launch into the air as a beastly looking guy dressed like a yeti explodes two feet in front of you. His growling almost gives you a heart attack and you and Scarlett instinctively clutch into each other with both of you trying to hide behind the other.

Your grip on your girlfriend is so tight and you don’t let go until the yeti guy has completely disappeared running offstage. Ellen is in a complete fit of laughter that has rendered her unable to stand. She’s laughing, struggling to take breaths when she needs to from her chair while high pitched screams continue to get louder and louder.

“WHY!?!” Scarlett looks at the blonde woman in horror and your fingers are up by your neck feeling for a pulse.

“Is that all the surprises? Please tell me there are no more surprises,” you cry for mercy.

The next part will be an interview with you and Scarlett where you discuss the upcoming movie, choose your favorite Chrises, and talk a little bit about your relationship

[petshrink]

I used to be a better pet mom

When I was a technician my pets went to the vet for every last thing they needed. I rarely cut corners, all vaccines and lab tests were done exactly on time.

I pretty much kept this up during vet school. Between the discount at school (for Molly’s derm visits) and at the clinic I worked at for years, I could keep things going.

During my internship I got a good discount with our GP office down the road, and I was able to do dental cleanings on Molly and Ducati basically just for cost because I ran the procedure. Ducati even had an extraction.

The financial strain of my residency is killing me. I am probably going to have to beg my parents for money to help me get through the upcoming conferences this summer. I have to pay to fly Molly to and from Texas for my month-long stay again. I get an OK discount at my office and I can do exams (because they’re my own pets) and lab work for a good price. I do get a discount at the larger hospital we work from. The big hurdle is it’s an hour south so for the cats it’s a rough trip.

Molly has needed a dental cleaning for over a year. I am really passionate about keeping up with dental health so putting it off has killed me. Yes, I fell out of the habit of brushing her teeth, which we will have to fix after the cleaning is done. A year ago she needed a cleaning and one with no extractions was quoted at $250 - which I know is a really good price for a fantastic hospital but has not been something I had.

But I decided to bite the bullet and see if I can ask the managers to allow me to do a payment plan. One of the managers brings her dog to me and we give a really good discount, plus they know where to hunt me down, so hopefully we can make that happen. She is scheduled for next Thursday, when she gets her health certificate as well before we leave next Sunday.

Then yesterday Ducati stopped eating her wet food. We just switched her to a limited ingredient diet a couple of weeks ago and she LOVES it. So that is odd. She seems very excited about food, but doesn’t eat. And there is some brown crusting along her bottom lip like she is drooling. Her upper lip looks a little swollen but I’m not sure. I can’t grab her and look at it because she gets Uber stressed, and the way I usually get her gabapentin into her is mixing it with the wet food. So now I have the option of switching the dental cleaning to her, since I am pretty sure that is what’s going on. She has had crummy teeth for a long time. But if she has extractions she would be the alone for a MONTH only 3 days later. There’s no way I could get the sitter to get her to the vet, even though she is wonderful.

So worst case scenario either way - I don’t do the dental and she has a tooth root abscess, it ruptures, and/or she doesn’t eat for weeks; or I do it, she has extractions, and if the sutures dehisce we just have to let it go. The thought of either nearly brings me to tears. And I have never really been the vet person that gets super stressed about my pets. But with collaboration from colleagues I’ve decided to move forward with her dental. Gum tissue heals well and cats are healing machines so if there is dehiscence, she would probably get through it.

But ugh I just want to be able to take care of both their teeth in a timely manner and not have money be the hindrance. In July I start residency year 3 and then only 1 more year of crap pay will be left. And he huge downside of working specialty is that I can’t just swin my pets by the clinic anytime and just get what I need from the shelf. I didn’t realize how hard that would be for me.