#I couldn't give a fuck even if I tried
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I live my carefree life muttering "I couldn't give a fuck tbh" and sitting and thinking- hope im making Laszlo Cravensworth proud
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really disappointing that bunjywunjy had to be pestered twice just to quietly remove their reblog after using their huge platform to encourage garbage like raving about the lesbian estonian soviet flag and how 'new pride flag just dropped' so people could go 'ooh pretty' about a flag that was forced onto us by ppl who wanted our culture gone and oppressed us for about a century in total if not more.
to say nothing or not show anything of the truth about that flag and quietly remove the reblog felt more like it was done out of obligation (and you didn't agree) rather than care for the subject matter that is still a fresh wound in our country's memory. it's only been 33 years since it ended.
I'd rather you make the mistake about something you didn't know (eastern european history is easy for westeners to overlook, because we're not a big country like them, we're not england or france or spain or germany) and admit/apologize for said mistake or even just outright state that you don't actually care rather than say nothing and quietly remove something so that people would stop talking about it
#regardless of your opinions on communism the ussr was a tragedy for much of eastern europe#and we still suffer under its effects today#did you know that when the ussr occupied us that estonians couldn't even be the majority of the population in our own country?#they flooded in and tried to make our country like them#they arrested anyone who wore the colors of our flag#and all while they settled into our countries (it wasnt just estonia but amywhere they occupied) they forcefully deported us out of it#into moving steel boxes of the trains in the harsh winter#people packed in like anchovies with barely any room to die from the starvation#but nobody talks about that#nobody cares about eastern europe#nobody bothers#so i get american tankies telling me garbage like how im just reciting 'CIA propaganda'#as if i give a fuck about what some yankoid organization in some unrelated country says#our families lived that shit#at the time i was born the only people who couldve gotten an estonian birth certificate were still children#what do you think our mothers and fathers and grandmothers and grandfathers lived in?#people only care that a flag looks pretty#and not what the flag actually meant
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Me, episode 1: Oh, a relatable protag! And a relatable female protag, at that. Sweet! That never happens.
Me, a few episodes in: Wait, the protag really is going to be my character? The one I identify with the most? Seriously? It's not going to be a strange, at least somewhat sinister, seemingly hostile male side character? It's gonna be a female character and the protagonist? That's insane, that literally never happens... what's the catch??
Me, more than halfway through the season: ... huh, I guess Maomao really is it. Okay, then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Me to myself, after episodes 22/23:
#i let my guard down#i should have known#like really i should know better by now lmao#that's probably the best depiction of prosopagnosia i've seen in fiction ngl#also luo//men's suggestion re: using other attributes to tell people apart??#A++ approach what a guy#mine isn't nearly as severe but i totally use footsteps/gait/mannerisms as my primary means of distinguishing people#the very few people i care about i can definitely recognize by facial features#and people i see frequently; though i do have trouble recognizing them if they appear in a context i'm not used to#like. if i were to see one of my sword classmates at my workplace for instance i would have trouble recognizing them#but anyone else? forget it#the most difficult part of working veterinary front desk was returning animals to their owners#bc even though i could have /just/ spoken with the owners like. ten minutes ago#i couldn't tell you which animal belonged to which owner#faces just don't register with me#dogs were easier in that i'd just let them lead me to their owners#but if it was a cat in a carrier i was fucked lmaooo#it's why if there was another receptionist working i'd let them handle any hand offs XDD#i don't remember most of my childhood but i have some very vivid impressions of moments like#my mother asking me to go give a cash tip to the hairdresser who did her hair and me being unable to pick who it was out#of everyone that was working even though i'd been there with them for two plus hours.#or like. taking the school bus home and being unable to recognize my bus monitor and so getting on the wrong bus#and also getting ridiculed about this by my parents lol. ah good times.#on the other hand i can easily recognize a dog i've met once or twice even years later. and remember their name.#i think it all mostly comes down to disinterest for me. i've tried to change this but it's just how i am#so. he's very relatable. painfully so#also the pragmatism and rationality and hyperfixating on things.#i've never hyperfixated on another person tho and i am so grateful for that every single day#i know in my bones it would be an absolute disaster XD#withoutwords
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i went wandering off in my pokespe gallery and had to relieve how wonderful this scene played out. no kidding
please dont read the tags i got emotional there /lh
#the.plot felt a bit confusing to me admittedly but oras did so well in trying to make franticshipping incredibly satisfactory since#at the end of rs we couldn't really tell if they settled with each others feelings yet (APPARENTLY NOT BECAUSE THEY'RE PRIDEFUL AND DUMB/JJ)#but at least sapphire still had some thoughts about it but i was kinda mad WHY DIDNT RUBY GIVE HIS HALF OF THE FEELINGS PROPERLY!!!#WELL THIS HAPPENED WHERE HE OPENLY CONFESSES ABOUT HOW MUCH HE CARES ABOUT HER AND THE WHOLE WORLD CELEBRATED#in r/s they were constantly separated from each other by WILL BECAUSE they despise each other so much#in oras - after confessing - it literally ACHES for ruby to not see her like take a fucking shot everytime he says wheres sapphire????#THEY WERE ALWAYS AWAY FROL EACH OTHER HERE AND HE FEELS SO GUILTY FOR EVERY TIME SAPPHIRE GETS HARMED#FOR EXAMPLE; FIGHTING WITH ZINNIA AND FALLING OFF THE ROCKET - LOSING HER VOICE - RUBY HOLDING THE SECRET FROM SAPPHIRE BY PROMISING STEVEN#LITERALLY EVERUTHING SHE DOES MAKES HIM FEEL ALL THE MORE GUILTY AND HE CANT EVEN TELL HER STRAIGHT HES SORRY BECAUSE THEY'RE LITERALLY#FUCKING AWAY FROM EACH OTHRHADHDHRHSBRBDBSHSHSHE#AND WHEN THEY FINALLU MEET UP VIA TROPIUS AND RAYQUAZA SHE TELLS HIM TO SHUT UP AND HOLD HIS EMOTIONS FOR NOW. THAT'S HOW DESPERATE HE WAS#TO SEE EHR AGAIN AHAHAHAHTDTHHGG IM SO INSANEEE#AND AT THIS MOMENT HE ALMOST EMOTIONALLY CONFESSES WITH TEARS HE DOESNT WANT TO LEAVE HER AGAIN BECAUSE WORST COMES TO WORST HE'LL NEVER SEE#HER IF HE TRIES TO SAVE THE WORLD BY HIMSELF FROM THE METEORRRRRR AKAAJAHAAJ#AND THATS WHY HE INVITES HER TO SAVE THE WORLD TOGETHER AS CORNY AS IT SOUNDS BUT ITS BECAUSE IF HE'LL DIE HE WANTS TO DIE WITH HER AAAHSGDV#AND SAPPHIRE'S REACTION WAS FAINTING WHICH TBH WAS A COMEDIC MOMENT FOR SUCH AN IMPACTFUL DIALOG FROM HIM BUT AJDHSJHDS MAKES ME HAPPY#y'all don't even get me started how this plays out when stevaide is in here DON'T EVEN#~ rambling#i just woke up and i chose violence (franticshipping)#pokespe hours
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Me: *does interviews for two book stores*
Them: you were unsuccessful due to a lack in sales experience
Me: *my 10yrs of retail experience and 6yrs running a book department in that store by myself* 🧍um?
#Lucinda tries to blog#so mad#they said they gave the positions to a girl who had previously sold cars and telemarketing experience and the other girl use to sell make up#the other store is brand new and needed to hire obviously 5+ people#you're telling me you couldn't even put me into the new store and “train me” with other fresh members?#i can sell the products bc i already have been selling the products for 6 years at my prev job#but you're willing to give the other girls an op to educate themselves on book knowledge#🤡 give me the job so i can have so called experience then#😤😤😤 like what the actual FUCK#chicken and egg situation right here folks
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get it Kim has a lot to unpack do you get it
it's imperfect I'll never polish it just take it as it is I should have put aerostatics not airplanes...
#I don't know how the hell to draw kim#PLEASE gib me feedback#pretend the dialogue is better this is all I can do lol. but you get the gist of it#aaa give me constructive criticism. the other post about kim secretly being a loser made me think about what his apartment would look like#and this popped in my head I had to draw it#is this in character?#there's no eyebrow battle because in my head this happens some time in the future where kim opens up a little more easily#at this point he trust him with his secrets more (but not completely. harry's not touching the blue box today)#but it's a mixture of ''maybe if I tell x he will stop asking for more'' and real trust#but like do you see that happen#it's a secret because he doesn't want other people to learn that insisting can work#like I said in the tags of the other post I think he never lets anyone in to the point of avoiding calling the plumber even if the sink#has been broken for months#addition: fuck I should have putted more machines in there. I couldn't think of anything else other than radio controlled airplane#and a sewing machine. he must have more stuff like the camera.#he'd have some dangerous thing to warm the room#and nerd stuff. I'm not sure if he'd display it or keep it boxed somewhere#disco elysium#that's a convertible couch-bed if you can't tell. half covered with the Pile#pointless microblogging#it's so hard to draw them right they look different in every official thing#believe me I have tried#idk how to put more of the skills here :/#I have achieved peak kimharry brainrot I can't go back
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*or pansexual or something similar. and not necessarily about each other
#feel free to rb and add tags to elaborate on your choice!!#i've been having somewhat of a discussion about this with my beloved. he says mccoy and i kinda get where he's coming from#cause mccoy couldn't give a fuck about others' opinions if he tried#but i still say kirk would one-up him. we see him with women why would men be different#he argues kirk would be too tightly in the clutches of comp-het to even figure it out for himself. which i find somewhat doubtful#bc Kirk seems like the kind of person to try everything at least once (twice to be xtra sure)#poll#jim kirk#james t. kirk#leonard bones mccoy#spock#leonard mccoy#s'chn t'gai spock#star trek tos#the original series#star trek
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So my ex is apparently out in the wild telling people that i'm a shitty person because i bought her gifts and i "didn't respect her identity", and that on top of that i also didn't really enjoy having sex with her because i "refused" to do certain things to her.
#i “refused” to do those things because she told me she didn't like them#i never tried to insist but it's not that i refused#at this point i don't even know#theres literally no point in telling these things in environments where people know me#why the fuck would you do that#like i'm sorry if you lied about your boundaries because you didn't want me specifically to touch you in certain ways or do some things#i couldn't know#same thing about the gifts she looked genuinely happy to receive them how could have i known i was being disrespectful?#if that's even true and its not just another random lie#also the people who come to the same gym as us should know i'm gay at this point but i'm not offically out to them#hope no one will get upset about it#i'm thinking about quitting martial arts so it probably won't matter anyway#sorry about the vent i do realize you don't give a fuck
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"i thought you said you'd make an effort" MOTHERFUCKER THIS IS ONLY COMPLAINT #1 OUT OF A VERY LONG LIST JUST BE GRATEFUL I CAN WAIT UNTIL THE GUESTS ARE GONE TO SNAP
#YEAH I MAKE AN EFFORT THATS WHY I ONLY COMPLAIN ABOUT THE STUFF I REALLY CANNOT DEAL WITH LONGTERM#god#it's just#incredibly annoying how my mom just goes OUT OF HER WAY to shrink the scope again when i just explained to her what would work#''so you can't speak up and if we do nothing it doesn't work'' yeah no shit then speak up YOU then. like i just said you probably should#i mean. you did say you don't control what guests bring. BUT YES YOU DO#yes you can speak to them about it#you can discuss and make it less systematic#you can express your thoughts#so you actually just lie to sympathize with me but you don't give a shit#and yet you still act like you tried everything like you just don't know what else could be done#i told you what was my problem i told you what would make it better#say you have other priorities#say you expect me to make an effort and not to be the fucking freak i was my whole childhood#that you were kind enough to tolerate most of the time#even though i was sooooo fucking weird when you knew i had problems but couldn't categorize them so why would i need to do things different#say you don't understand why i hurts me if i can ''try to make an effort''#sorry the only kind of family reunion we have is food-based and i can't try and have good relationships w my family if i dont can it#and eat whatever's in front of me so that they can be happy i'm finally normal and grown up#god jesus christ#yeah it IS your house and i don't get to veto or force anything#dont act surprised when your smart plan for dealing with difficult things is expect your kid to shut the fuck up about any problem they hav#and then huh. weird. your kid isn't happy.#i try to foster a good relationship holy shit#i try to go past the things i don't like and compromise and engage w them#how is that not doing my best#i'm sorry i don't feel great when difficult things happen and also i can't control any of it#when you can and you've also shown me many time i can't expect actually meaningful support from you#broadcasting my misery#vent
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god sometimes i wish the whole "you wouldn't say/do that to a physically disabled person" lie that certain mentally ill people say was true bc i fucking WISH i could use "I'm in a wheelchair" as a gotcha for people being ableist against me. unfortunately,
#so my psych that I'm dropping the SECOND i get a new (better) one#like that whole facility. they DO have telehealth/video appointments#but they fucking?????? make the PATIENT DRIVE TO THE BUILDING FOR THE APPOINTMENT#WHILE THE DOCTOR IS AT FUCKING HOME. WHY THE HELL DO I HAVE TO GO INTO HER OFFICE WHEN SHE'S NOT EVEN THERE?????#like it's actually fucking ridiculous AND they NEVER get interpreters when requested AND they ONLY allow to schedule by PHONE#like- my Deaf mother literally physically cannot communicate with them because they refuse to speak to a video phone interpreter#or let her talk to them in person or via email. it actually pisses me off so fucking much#and like. most doctors offices. if you're late they give you 15 minutes before they declare you a no show and cancel#that place gives FIVE MINUTES. i walked in SIX MINUTES LATE one day and BEGGED them to just let me do the appointment#and they still refused#so i was out of meds for like. two weeks. anyway#the last straw was the last TWO times i went i was in my wheelchair#and the doors. open inwards to the rooms#so they closed me in the room for the appointment#and i PHYSICALLY COULDN'T GET OUT because i COULDN'T OPEN THE DOOR because there wasn't enough wheelchair space#and i had to frantically text my mom to let me out and SHE GOT IN TROUBLE FOR IT when i was SOBBING#bc i had tried genuinely screaming at the top of my lungs for someone to let me out of the room but nobody fucking heard me#and the second time i told the nurse 'HEY I CAN'T GET OUT OF HERE WITH MY CHAIR' and she was like 'don't worry I'll come get you'#she never did. i had to get my mom again#not fucking going back there ever again they've only ever pissed me off more with every single interaction#oh also they only let you schedule new appointments after they SEND YOU A LETTER SAYING YOU CAN CALL TO SCHEDULE NOW#if you call before then they DON'T LET YOU#and they give literally fucking 3-5 day later appointments when I've requested SEVERAL times I NEED A TWO WEEK NOTICE FOR WORK#also they don't give a shit about cutting you off your medicine cold turkey and not refilling it until several requests later#fuck that place. i hope every good doctor there finds a better job and the building gets abandoned and crumbles to the ground.
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My doctor messaging me at 12:30 in the morning to tell me she wants to do a telehealth visit abt the side effects I'm having with my new Lamotrigine dose (including worse insomnia than my usual insomnia, as u may have guessed lmao) is. something.
#text post#like i know why i am awake babe why are YOU awake this late#and god why do we have to do another visit#they aren't bad enough to make me stop this dose and i haven't been on the new dose long enough to let it even out#can i not just Not have to do another uncomfortable visit where even if things turn out okay after#i later feel like I'm still not being wholly trusted/treated like i know my body and how i feel#i had worse side effects restarting this med months ago and we didn't have any additional visits for that#they fucking forgot to even book me for a f/u and i had to call in and beg for one basically#and then they misbooked it for the wrong reason and with the wrong doctor#and made it out like it was my fault when i made clear i begged and told the receptionist i spoke to to book said appt#that it needed to b with my doc for the Lamotrigine and that i hadn't been told when to follow up so i was just. doing it#bc she said i needed to but then didn't say when to book it#they're trying hard and im trying to give them grace but then this shit happens and like#im tired. makes me want to go into my new doc like nah never mind im fine. don't ask me nothing and i won't bug you with anything#unless im dying or nearly dead already.#would suck beyond believe attempting to raw dog life mostly again but goddamn. im so sick of this lack of stability with my care#anyway. probably an appt next Tuesday which is great#that's the week of the weekend that i work again and the week before my bday#(a bday I'll be working now which I'm not normally irked abt but. i am a bit rn)#so cool. yeah. let's stack anxiety and fear over a medical appt on top of everything else for that week#and that's not counting that this weekend I've been tasked with buying and getting signed a v expensive and rare figure#for my mum's bf and I'm kind of terrified im gonna fuck it up#he paid for tickets to the con the figure will be sold at and that the person he wants to sign it will be at#so if i fuck this up he'll want (understandably) to be paid back asap for that#and that's money i don't fucking have rn#i really wish she had waited till the actual day proper to contact me bc i couldn't sleep before this#and now i definitely cant bc like#it's dumb. but what if she takes my med away. it isn't perfect but it works better than any other med I've tried#what if she wants me to try a new one. i cant do that and b dealing with major side effects during the intense work schedule#that'll be happening for me v soon and then into November
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Thinking abt how last night on the heavn Hayley shoot post someone commented 'blink twice if gerard's next' and they liked it.... Maybe there's a pie in that bush after all...
#Can't stop thinking abt it.... I need smth good rn#Yesterday was such a shitshow I can't even write it in the tags but I could only#Try to submit my thesis at night bc my mentor wouldn't stop telling me to make changes#Then I needed to sign smth and the online govt thing to sign papers kept giving me error for over 2h#Everytime I tried then my docs wouldn't even upload on the page so I couldn't submit them#And I ended up sending an email to academic services after waiting 10+ min for the docs to load 3 min b4 the day ended#So I hope they don't fuck me over now I even tried on dif laptops and browsers restarting the laptop etc... Such a shitshow cried so bad LO#Wow anna said something#Anna's shitposts#And that's just the night part !!! I was also almost a week barely sleeping didn't sleep at all yesterday and on my period with mega cramps
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love how the message of season 4 was that you have to have extremely good grades and have gone to parties to be able to successfully adjust to university
#nhie s4 spoilers#nhie s4#nhie#never have i ever#nhie critical#if you had mediocre grades or were too uptight might as well not even bother going since you're apparently fucked#like. devi ben and fab all got into an ivy and seemed to be enjoying university and doing well right away#meanwhile we have eleanor who gets 1 rejection and gives up on furthering her education entirely (why didn't she think about film school??)#and paxton who worked So Hard to get into college only to immediately drop out just because his roommate was shitty#& blair who was an excellent student but partied too hard and failed out and tried to keep it a secret because it was 'kind of humiliating'#like. blair mentioned that she was burnt out but then it was almost immediately reframed as her having been 'too perfect' in high school#the only character who never planned to go to college was trent who was so bad at school he had to repeat his senior year#why weren't there any students who had done well at high school yet struggled academically even though they were genuinely trying?#or students who hadn't done super well in high school but then thrived in university when they had more freedom to choose their classes#where were the top students who didn't get into their first choice school? or knew that they didn't want to go to college at all?#obviously the show couldn't cover every possible permutation of how people decide whether to go to college and then how they adjust to it#but it's uhhh not great that the 3 'smartest' main characters were admitted into ivies and immediately thrived at university#while the 3 who struggled with school or prioritized non-academic interests either didn't try to go to college or gave up extremely fast#the show has always had moments where characters will be elitist but it seemed much more prominent & tied into the narrative this season#my post#my meta#tag ramble
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okay yeah making my own post. it is unfortunate that u can't bluetooth media between devices like u used to. like if I have a 5MB picture on an android, I can't use bluetooth to send that to iOS or Windows bc they all want to have their own proprietary Thing.
but then where it gets annoying is even though you have SO much more ways to send a picture these days, almost every single resource you'll use is going to compress your picture and the recipient is not going to get the same thing you sent. my 5MB picture becomes your 1MB picture.
even with texting my images get compressed. it's like the ONLY way you can share your pictures while still retaining the full quality is by putting it on a cloud service then sharing the link, which is fucked because why do you Have to involve a third party in something that's just for you and people you know personally. (also imposing Rules™ and tracking on what ur gonna upload).
between file size limits and things getting compressed it feels like What's The Point of advancements being made with imaging technology if you're only using Some of it in practice.
I don't have a point or solution I'm just ranting about how phones and the internet in general used to be a lot more geared towards the end user than the corporations running a given service. like yeah i get that it's cheaper to store and send 1MB than it is 5, especially at scale, but :///
#i like doing high res drawings bc it gives me a lot of canvas space and i like adding a bunch of lil details#and i tried sharing a pic with a friend on discord and it fucking BUTCHERED the quality 😭#if u zoomed in u couldn't read the text‚ the line work was fucked. funnily enough the Best way to share it was#to take the image link from my tumblr upload and share that instead. i feel like despite its many changes over the years#tumblr also just suffers from Enough neglect that it hasn't started fucking with ur uploads in the name of Saving Space™#and even if it did it's like the closest thing to a negligible amount of loss compared to literally everything else besides cloud uploads
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Thanks to a lacking in our communication systems, we will have exactly 5 damn minutes of Real Person Socialization today. I am not even kidding.
#I love you online people but I NEED TO TALK TO REAL FUCKING PEOPLE#AND CERTAINLY FOR LONGER THAN 5 MINUTES#I'm not even talking about people outside my house#this is 5 minutes of speaking to my mother#not even#and she couldn't even have bothered to give me a heads up??#okay she *tried* to wake me to tell me *when she left*#*when she knew she was going as of two days ago*#I'm fine#I'm fine :)#this is fine#therapy's only in#*checks notes* like 4 days#we're fiiiiiiine#we'll live we'll live#I'm just grumpy because I haven't talked to anyone today#besides my mother. for less than five minutes.#y'know#as mothers do
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another day, another "scrolling past a post on my dashboard where flash is the only character excluded from the coffee bean gang"
#nadia rambles#i can't even say this is subtweeting a specific post because i see one almost every day#AND it happens in the comics too! HE WAS PETER'S BEST MAN AT HIS WEDDING FOR GOD'S SAKE#peter almost killed a dude because he felt so guilty about flash's amputation lol#peter took care of flash as his live-in caretaker when flash was recovering from a coma and couldn't move#ntm when flash was going thru that shit with his dad dying and the person he chose to support him—peter#but sure your projection about how you hate jocks is so important who gives a fuck about character dynamics or story#it's not like flash is relevant to the narrative or anything (he is actually lol)#me reading a comic that deliberately excludes flash or tries to represent his behavior as different than it was in actuality:#''haha this sucks man'' (every time they rewrite a flashback and make it worse)
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