#I could write an essay about why that au works so well but I probably won't because I hate essays

[jumpscaregoose]

character ask meme: horohoro - 4, 14, 25 (u can pick whichever one u like best)

yay horohoro!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

...my 2k words of team the ren paralive au fic would like to plead the fifth...

14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.

I need him to wear skater boy clothes so bad it's not even funny

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

Oh wow a silly guy! "btw we haven't told you his backstory yet" I NEED TO PREDICT EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SILLY GUY! Oh wow a silly guy (I am in emotional pain)!

[50shadesofoctarine]

Why you should write that AO3 comment:

Hello! I am an AO3 author and professional fandom dipshit. This is an "essay" on why you should leave that comment on the fanfic you just read.

Table of Contents:

"Commenting is too much effort!"

"I don't know what to write!"

Do you want more fanfic?

Fan creators are human beings, not AI content generators.

You can count it as charity work on your metaphysical taxes.

"Commenting is too much effort!"

Yes, writing a comment takes energy. I'm an introvert, I get that. I have two counter arguments to this point.

AO3 comments are not the SAT:

This is a comment from my latest fic, Quantum Entangled.

Three words and a heart. It requires zero consideration, it isn't specific to the fic, it's something you could copy-paste, even. A comment like this is better than nothing. I'll let my reply from AO3 explain why:

"You know what, I appreciate this way more than you'd probably expect. The temptation to lurk is a strong one, both for social anxiety reasons and internet content-consumption culture reasons. But when people lurk, I can't tell that they've enjoyed the story. The more people that lurk instead of interacting, the more I assume that my work wasn't good enough, irrespective of the reader's actual feelings. So this was a very welcome comment to read. Thank you for indicating your enjoyment. I will endeavour to write more stuff for you to lurk on in the future. :)"

A comment like this, one that is as thoughtless and low effort as possible, is still a comment. Something that denotes a reader's interest. Because, and I can't be clear enough about this, I HAVE NO OTHER WAY OF KNOWING THAT YOU LIKED IT. Kudos and comments are my only window into the reader's experience.

Sure, I'd love more detailed and thorough comments on my work, but, if that expectation is the thing that's going to stop you from commenting at all, I'd prefer the bland copy-paste appreciation.

Onto my second argument.

Do you know what also takes effort? WRITING THE DAMN FIC:

You do not get to complain about being forced to type a congratulatory handful of words after reading that 200k slow-burn fantasy au. Do you know how many hours went into that thing? Do you? Because I can guarantee that it was A LOT. All that writers are asking for is a single emoji. A kudos, at the very least. Consider the effort that went into the creation that you've just experienced and give just a thimble full of it back.

Authors lay out a feast for you to devour. They're only requesting a "thank you".

"I don't know what to write!"

Like in the previous example, an AO3 comment can be as simple as three words saying that you appreciated it. Just an acknowledgement that you were there. It doesn't have to be fancy.

But if you want fancy...?

Here's one of my comments, from Tishae's Better Together.

Let me break it down for you.

"Stunning. This au is so well developed. I love how you managed to maintain tension after the point that they discover that their feelings are requited. This was brilliantly paced, and the action (esp the ending) was so engaging."

The comment opens with appreciation. (Think of it as a sandwich with love as the bread. It starts and ends with my enjoyment.)

There are specific details about what I liked.

"If I may ask, what was the crime that the Metatron committed? Maybe I'm bad at reading between the lines or maybe I missed something, but I'm really curious as to what dirt they have on him. Victimless? Bad enough for imprisonment, but not so morally reprehensible as to make Anathema reveal it? Did he embezzle? That's all I can really think of."

Continues with a specific question about the story and plot.

Shows that I was critically engaged and actively considering the story.

You don't have to have questions about every fic that you read, but don't be afraid to ask them if you do. I love it when people ask me about my work.

"Thank you for the delicious food. I honestly thought that you were going to have Crowley's final look be something in grey (black and white being the theme of the show, metaphorically representing separation/binary, so Aziraphale was uncomfortable with it due to the implications. Grey, symbolising unity/shades of grey as an idiom, would then be the biggest middle finger to the Metatron) but I do really like what you came up with."

Gratitude.

Thoughts about how I read the plot. (This is something I particularly love to read as an author. Please tell me what's going on in that funky lil' brain of yours!!)

"I'm hoping this comment provides plenty of dopamine. If the task activation and instant gratification parts of your brain light up, you might be more likely to write GO content again. Love your work, thanks for sharing it. I hope you gain 3 inches of metaphorical dick length. Please keep writing."

Encouragement to keep writing. (This is the best way to ensure that creators remain in the fandom)

A funny comment to sign off.

Now that you know what to comment, let's start on the real reasons why you should.

Do you want more fanfic?

Fun fact! Fanfictious Authoria are a species that sustain themselves entirely on a diet of brain worms, unfinished WIPs, and kudos. As one of the three fundamental food groups, removing kudos from the fandom ecosystem causes a complete collapse of the natural order. In times of unprecedented scarcity, entire populations of Fanfictious Authoria can die out completely. This means that the production of fanfiction, in that particular region of fandom, stops entirely, often causing major ecological damage, and the subsequent deaths of fan species in the same genus. (Like the Fanfictious Artia, or the Fanfictious Editour, both of which subsist on fanfiction based diets to survive.)

In conservation efforts, experts are imploring readers to donate kudos and comments toward any fandom region that they want to stay alive.

But I digress.

When I want more content, I tell the author. Ask and you shall receive; it's the best way to convince an author/artist to make more.

My comment on @mrghostrat's And They Were Streamers

You liked it? Then COMMENT! Not for the author's sake, but for your own. You want to see the ending of a WIP? Well, it'd be a terrible shame if the author gave up on it because they thought no one was reading... They don't know that you enjoy their work until you TELL THEM. They're not psychic, you have to help them hear you. Commenting on the things you like influences the creators of said things to attribute the act of making content (and, notably, making the type of content that specifically appeals to you) with the dopamine hit of reading your reaction. Treat them like Pavlov's dogs. Ring the kudos-bell.

Fan creators are human beings, not AI content generators.

They have real human feelings and real human egos. The contemporary attitude towards media engagement is skewed towards algorithmic, instant, and uncritical consumption. This is pumping straight gasoline into the beautiful lakes of our fandom ecosystem. Fandom cannot afford to treat its creators like mechanical text generators. We are not an unfeeling assembly line, only there to produce content. We are enthusiasts, engaging in our hobby. No fan creator has to show you anything. They are fully within their rights to keep their works hidden in their computer files, never to see the light of day. Every fanfic on AO3 is only there because someone had the grace to share it with you. You are not entitled to an author's work, just as they are not entitled to your kudos. We have a mutually beneficial arrangement. Do not forget your part in this symbiosis.

It's a problem that extends beyond AO3. Tumblr is a less enthusiastic place than it used to be. Fandom as a whole is drifting towards a consumption mindset. I, for one, am sick of it. Reblog things, like them, share them. Make fanart of fanart. Who gives a shit? Do the cringy thing. You don't have to cultivate your blog aesthetic. Be who you are, like what you like, and have enthusiasm about all of it. Fandom should be an expression of radical self acceptance. Embrace it. Leave essays about fics that you liked. Reblog the essays of other's when you see them. Exist in the mutual joy of seeing and being seen. You are not just an external observer, absorbing content from a distance. You are here too. Wave back at us. Say 'hi.'

You can count it as charity work on your metaphysical taxes.

My final appeal is a moral one.

Commenting on AO3 is just a kind thing to do.

You are your actions. Are you the kind of person who does the kind thing when no one is watching? When no one will care?

Fanfiction is a hobby, and I'm not here to guilt you about how you spend your leisure time. I'm only here to say that there is a kindness you could be giving the world.

If you are one of the people that performs this kindness, I thank you.

[total-drama-brainrot]

Total Drama AU/Headcanon: Where everything is the same, except Noah is just as crazy/insane as Izzy and Eva, but he's much better at hiding it (with a sarcastic calm personality) ... Only Izzy, Eva and Owen know his true unhinged colors (and that's why they get along with him so well) .../// Duncan briefly saw it during the Total Drama Island Special Finale, when Duncan grabbed Noah's leg, but Noah escaped, and we didn't see HOW Noah escaped... In this AU, Noah bit Duncan's hand then gave Duncan a silent psychotic grin, which shocked Duncan and gave Noah time to escape (Noah basically pretending the bite and grin never happened) ... In TDWT, imagine if Alejandro ever found out that the sanest one on his Team is only PRETENDING to be sane! 😅

I've seen that one Scary!Noah AU floating about in the main tag lately, and I love the concept. There's so much that could be done with having someone like Noah (scarily smart, mostly motivated by either spite or The Bit, nerfed by his own laziness/apathy/hubris) have the added bonus of Going Apeshit sometimes. Either as a treat to himself, or as the natural consequence of his hidden nature.

It's like that "Izzy Isn't Crazy" theory, but in reverse. "Noah Is Crazy, He's Just Good At Masking".

In this AU, he and Izzy would get on like a house on fire.

Like recognises like, after all; Izzy would clock him as just as unhinged as herself at their first meeting, and probably confront him about his 'game plan' at the first chance she could (maybe that's why she was so quick to swap with Katie? A bid to get herself on the same team as Noah?). Noah would try to deny it at first, because he's supposed to be the 'lazy genius'- slipping from his allotted persona this soon into the competition would jeopardise his strategy!- but Izzy would reassure him that she can practically smell the crazy on him.

He'd live up to his title as 'The Schemer', by means of plotting pranks and other such events with Izzy. She'd use her status as the overt crazy girl to pull them off, and Noah would either help behind the scenes to abate his hunger for chaos, or live vicariously through Izzy's blatant mania whilst revelling in the fact that their plan(s) play out perfectly every time. Imagine how much better Izzy's bear suit prank would've been with a man on the inside- and now imagine how much better it would've been if Noah pretended to get eaten/mauled by bear!Izzy (using smuggled ketchup packets and A Lot Of Screaming to convince the Gophers of his demise)! (He'd play off the incident by blaming the whole thing on Izzy- saying she was the one who used the ketchup, and his screaming was just him being Rightfully Terrified of being eaten. Gotta keep up the charade!)

No one would suspect him either! Who would ever assume that slothful, apathetic Noah who complains about the trials and tribulations of 'hard work', 'effort' and 'physical activity' could be a friend and an accomplice to the unstoppable force of nature that is Izzy? He's always too busy shoving his nose into his book to ever consider befriending the crazy girl, there's no way Noah would even tolerate her! (/s)

I think he'd eventually reveal his true colours to Team E-scope plus Owen once their friendship is cemented off-screen. Noah isn't the trusting type (I'd clarify, but I'd end up writing a whole unrelated essay- maybe another time) and he's habitually secretive- his non-answers in the WT Character Interview and his Sierra-given title of "The Man of Mystery" attest to this- so he'd need to know that his friends are really his friends before letting himself be vulnerable/transparent with them, since any 'friendships' made on Total Drama always run the risk of being a ploy/fake. It is a social game, after all.

As for the Duncan Incident. Having Noah bite people is going to turn into a running gag for me at this point, because it's so fucking hilarious to imagine him in a scenario where he's forced/pressured into violence and immediately starts chomping down on someone. This weasel boy wasn't built for punches and kicks but On God can he use those pearly whites to cause some damage. (The human jaw has a surprisingly strong bite force. Noah absolutely knows this.)

I'd also like to suggest that Noah rips himself out of his cargo shorts after biting Duncan, leaving the punk with a bleeding handful of nerd shorts and an open wound for his troubles. He'd already let go of Noah by that point too; it's hard to maintain your grip on anything when you've got a manic bookworm tearing away at the tendons in your hands. So he's just sat there, terrified and concerned, nursing the throbbing, sluggishly bleeding bitemark on his hand and wondering how Noah managed to contort his usually stoic facial features into a grin so wild and feral.

And Noah races back to Izzy and Eva, face and teeth splattered in Duncan's blood, sans cargo shorts. Neither of them question it; Izzy has an idea of what he's done, since Noah's smugness levels have risen at least three tiers and he's smiling almost contentedly to himself, and Eva has learned how to Mind Her Own Business when it comes to Izzy and Noah's eccentricities (though she often shoots inquisitive looks towards Noah's red-painted face).

Then in World Tour? Alejandro is suffering. Noah's the only person on his team who isn't lacking braincells and/or completely unhinged (or so he thinks), and as such he's the latino's only lifeline to sanity on the forsaken jet. So when Duncan returns in London and seems scared of the harmless bookworm? That's concerning.

Assuming that Noah's a wee bit more savvy in this AU thanks to his subterfuge experience in Island, he probably wouldn't be as outwardly apparent in his distrust of Alejandro during the challenge- either that, or he'd be enjoying torturing Tyler too much to think about how much of an eel Alejandro is. So Alejandro wouldn't have any reason to want to eliminate him, if anything he'd be motivated to keep him around, if only to act as a buffer between himself and the idiocy of Team Chris.

Duncan's re-introduction and allocation to the team would be Alejandro's first inkling into the fact that Noah is more than he seems. When the delinquent is ushered to stand next to Alejandro and Noah, his pupils contract into pinpricks or terror, and his attention flickers between the aloof cynic to his side and an oval-shaped scar on his hand. The cynic shoots Duncan a friendly smile (Alejandro ignores how the smile doesn't quite reach Noah's eyes) and the punk turns sheet white.

Alejandro doesn't know what to make of it.

[liesmyth]

fic writer questions

tagged by @liamlawsonlesbian MWAH ily <3333 I was tagged over at my rpf sideblog but I started doing this and realised how pan-fandom my account is :D

how many works do you have on AO3?

158 fics on my profile, stats page tells me it's 195 including anoned fics. sounds about right

what's your total ao3 word count?

slightly over 1 mil (1.030 mil apparently)

what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

older ones in big fandoms. I killed a clown. AMA! & no sense of living without aim (IT Movies); some new beginning & good old-fashioned lover boy (Good Omens); Once More, with Feeling (Ted Lasso) <- ok this one is from last year and the fandom isn't that huge, I just got lucky with post timing.

do you respond to comments? why or why not?

I DO I love comments!! I think people taking some time to let you know they liked something is amazing. I want to reply to that and also feed more comments

what's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Considering I have written character death a few times... I think my angstiest fic is probably my Ted Lasso big bang entry, one more time around, not so much because of the ending but because of the emotional beats. It's an Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind AU with all that entails (memory loss) & there's an open ending that could be read as hopeful!!! but I still think the flashback scenes are #angst

what's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

OHHHH. Good question. I'm not a pure fluff person but I like happy endings. Probably my some of my "fix it" stuff, like well I rose, and I rose (Captive Prince, Theomedes lives); and (I think) the kids are in trouble (IT movies)

do you write crossovers?

Not often, I feel like it requires a lot of skill to make work. I've written two short crossovers I really like: The Art of Survival (ASOIAF & The Inheritance Cycle) and my body on the waves (The Old Guard & Pirates of the Caribbean)

have you ever received hate on a fic?

Throwback to the time I got twitter cancelled for writing age difference selfcest and someone left me this fuckass essay after they attacked me somewhere more public (cringe) and I said I would respond to concrit if they had it. I will always think with pride about the line "Another positive is to recognize that you are indeed a good writer. That's partly a negative because without that I probably would not have read on. Morbid curiosity can only take you so far and it's easier to dismiss something that's been poorly written." <- thank u hater <3

do you write smut? if so, what kind?

I write lots of emotionally horny smut that often doubles as character study (not only bc I have literary ambitions in my smut just because I think it's hot). I only rate a fic E when the smut is detailed enough that I think "somebody could potentially get off reading this". Otherwise it's M.

have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope! Many of my fics were written as exchange gifts to somebody else so I hope it never happens.

have you ever had a fic translated?

yessssss <3 I have a blanket permission to translate / remix / podfic so knock yourself out

have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not YET but I workshop so many fic ideas with friends. One day maybe.

what's your all-time favorite ship?

Honestly, probably Vegeta/Bulma from DBZ. My het ship blueprint.

what's a wip that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Some of my old Captive Prince drafts, probably. And no sense of living without aim, my IT Eddie/Richie fic... I got so much fandom drama that year that I could never finish the last chapter. But my heart didn't want to put it on this list so maybe there's hope yet.

what are your writing strengths?

I think I'm very good at setting up emotional beats and making character voices feel distinct, both dialogue and POV

what are your writing weaknesses?

Action :/

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think it's cool if it's used in a way where it enriches the story. The reader should be able to understand what it means from context, without needing an in-text translation, and if you're using a limited POV the character should be able to understand at least some words in the language <- those are pet peeves of mine

what was the first fandom you wrote for?

First fic I ever wrote was Eragon (Paolini) when I was in middle school to show to my friend. First fic I ever posted was also Eragon on FFN. First fic I posted on AO3 I believe was ASOIAF or maybe the Vampire Diaries.

what's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

As I was tagged on this from Roman Holiday Chalex AU Jo Liamlawsonlesbian on the RPF sideblog. Chalex. In terms of fandom probably.... well.... BTVS / spuffy. Also this one time an anon on FFA named me among the authors they'd have liked to see writing Oasis RPF. I've been thinking about it

what's your favourite fic you've written?

It depends! I have SO many children. Some faves in my most recent fandoms: my voice in your head (F1 RPF rule 63 femslash); as lost as lost can be (Ted Lasso, Roy & Isaac); After Me, the Flood & at the last trumpet (Locked Tomb, Ianthe/Augustine /& John fic & Reverend Parents doing child assassination fic)

no-pressure tags: @antspaul @theriverbeyond @saiditallbefore @vegasgrandprix @sionisjaune

[intotheelliwoods]

@kinky-asexual I love myself having certain colors represent certain themes/events/occasions :) TYSM by the way!!

---

I bring you this doodle! @greentrickster

---

Dont know why I drew this but here you go. @wraenata Have an emotional support peepaw.

Anyways, Marcus Moncrief was on Saturday Night Live, live!! Donnie was rambling to Leo about the concept of freezing time by reaching absolute 0 in Kelvin :)

---

Oh I have been waiting for someone to ask me something like this, you have no idea. Putting this ESSAY under a cut oops I wrote a ton (if the cut even works, sometimes they dont)

I am very aware of the norm of the usual take of Future Leo AU's, it was all those AU's and fics that mad inspired me after all! They are all so good and play on a very interesting concept! Issue is, it ended up being the only take I ended up seeing. With the whole future and present self having some form of resentment towards eachother even if it was just a little bit, or for only a short period of time. I honestly needed a fresh breath of air and it came to my attention as time went on that other readers also needed a breath of fresh air. So uh, I very much saw the opportunity here and took it, with the added bonus of it being in comic form since theres so many fics out there.

Yes my comic is absolutely the opposite of the norm and I plan on keeping it like that, I made it the opposite of the norm for a reason, and the reason definitely shows through the sheer numbers and attention I have been getting on this thing! I am so happy so many people are enjoying the series! I am so glad to heal everyones wounds from the anguish of the usual plotlines haha!

Sidenote, I would actually highly recommend this post by pinetreevillain, read the tags, words things better than I ever could. Not just the OP's tags, all the reblog tags too.

(There may have been fics were the Leos were actually nice to eachother, but either I did not hear of them/see them, or they were just overall not popular enough to be well known and recognized for the good relationship)

I understand that such a fast change in character meanwhile does not happen overnight. This here is probably the biggest issue I have within the series, though I do have a little bit of reasoning.

I am just going to be flat out honest, I personally find it hard for myself to sit and read through something about characters arguing, it makes me weirdly uneasy. Something something about characters who love eachother yelling it out just hits me in a way I try to avoid whoops. So if I find it hard to read something like that, it is even harder for me to write and draw it out myself, there will be no forms of these sorts situations in the series because of that. Though this does tie back into me trying to avoid the norm, having everyone be kind to Leo after the movie is a take you do not see often.

I actually attempted addressing the movie aftermath with Raph and Leo with this comic, it was the whole point on why I made the comic! Because yes! I These two really did need some new take, my own take, on the aftermath. I wanted to show in that comic that Raph is not mad, happy actually, that Leo managed to pull himself together for such an act. Leo proved on that day that he knew what he was doing, how to care for a team, and that he was truly meant for his role as the leader.

Final little point: Lets be honest I dont think anyone will have the guts to even be mad at Leo after he sacrificed himself and his arm to save everyone. How could anyone be mad at that? Outside the fear of loosing him of course

[syrupsyche]

Instead of working on the actual fic, I'm going to be sharing headcanons on my canon era Enjsette siblings au. I would probably mention some parts of it in the fic(s) I'll be sharing but if they never see the light of day, here are some of them! Shoutout to @pumpkinspice-prouvaire for inspiring this post <3

Fantine absolutely adored getting matching EVERYTHING for her kids: that goes for their names (Eugène and Euphrasie), their outfits, and even their hairstyles. She likes to match her hairstyles with them as well :')

Speaking of hair, since Enjolras has the same hair as her, she lets it grow out so that she can comb and style it. He may be 3 years old but he sure has a ton of hair

When they get placed with the Thenardiers, just as how Mme. Thenardier was Cosette's main tormentor, M. Thenardier would be Enjolras'

Other than the canonical heavy labour Cosette had to do, Enjolras would be sent out to pickpocket from the inn's customers and the rest of the town's inhabitants as well

Whenever Enjolras got caught, Thenardier would put on a big act and punish him in front of whoever was the victim ("My sincerest apologies, good monsieur/madame! He must have gotten his nastiness from his good-for-nothing mother.") before taking him away and just punishing him once more for getting caught

(And I'm not saying this is where Enj would get his immensely deep-rooted sense of injustice from but im NOT not saying that either :))

Cosette and Enjolras would try to take the brunt of the punishments for each other but that just became getting twice the punishment. Eventually, they learnt to just rely and comfort each other afterwards

When Valjean comes to find them, he buys Catherine for Cosette and a toy soldier for Enjolras. He named him Jacques.

Enjolras took longer than Cosette to warm up to Valjean (M. Thenardier was his tormentor after all, so his trust in male authority figures was already low), but eventually grew to trust him once his sister did

Enjolras especially loved hearing Valjean read to him. Valjean read the usual children's books and fairytales but when Enjolras began begging for more, he just gave up and started reading anything he could get his hands on: history, philosophy, etc. (which is why Enjolras turned out Like That)

When they move to the convent, while Cosette went to school, Enjolras stayed in the hut and continued being taught by Valjean (and Fauchelevent!) While Cosette was intended to become a nun, Enjolras was to take over as the convent gardener

Cosette would run up to the hut and chat with Enjolras whenever it was playtime- they would exchange whatever they had learnt during the day

Slowly, Enjolras got his hands on more and more radical books, teaching himself about the current political climate of France and devoting all his time to reading and (attempting to) write his own essays

Eventually, when the family left the convent, it was partially to allow Enjolras to pursue his new-found interest in politics as well as the canonical reason of letting Cosette explore society.

Due to their difference in interests, Enjolras and Cosette grew apart, though all 3 family members clearly still cared for one another deeply

Understanding the dangers of dabbling in politics, he decided to go by a moniker in order to keep his private family away from his public affairs. Thus, Enjolras was born.

This is where my fics begin to pick up from so I guess no more spoilers (??) Hope this made some bit of sense or at the very least, the drawings were enjoyable! :D

[dyradoodles]

Hiiiiii! 💕 I was just wondering….. what are your preferences for Zack & Seph? Do you ship ‘em, is it up to circumstance, does the age matter to you/do you consider their age and their gap? Why not even throw in how you fell in love with Zack & Seph to begin with? Do you have sources?? MLA format for Zack’s fandom page???

*plops down on floor*

Details plz! ❤️

Ah yes hello person that I definitely do not know, who definitely didn't see me say I could write an essay about this very subject on discord LMFAO

I'll put the actual essay under a cut for people who don't want to scroll through my Many Feelings about these two lol As a TLDR to your questions:

Yes I ship them, but also Yes it's up to circumstance! Yes I consider their canon ages/the age gap (which most visibly manifests in me only drawing them platonically if I'm drawing Zack as a Second/with the puppy hair, or writing a fic taking place during CC)! I was actually into Aeriseph first and stumbled into ZackSeph fics, and realized it was a similar dynamic, but with someone who spent time with Seph canonically before he went bananas! All of this was before CC came out and I've been loving these characters for 20+ years!

To borrow a phrase (from crylin iirc), honestly, I like just seeing them standing next to each other, romantic or no LMAO <3

NOW, FOR THE ESSAY.

So to expand on what I said earlier, I think it's obvious from my blog and ZS server that I ship these two LMAO That said, the way I ship them is based heavily on the era of fandom before CC was a thing. I got into FF7 around 2002 (possibly earlier, I just don't have the dates on drawings that old), five years before CC came out. At the time, we knew next to nothing about Zack beyond the very short clips of him in OG. So, fandom did what fandom does best, and tried to fill in the blanks!

Some of the efforts to figure out who Zack was went all the way down to his name, because it's Zakkusu in Japanese. So you'll see him as Zax, too - There were heated debates on whether to use Zack or Zax. And no last name! Fandom had to come up with surnames themselves. We also didn't have much of a reference beyond his polygon model, which seemed to have darker skin and, (as many fics described it) violet eyes. It was also assumed that, since he was a First who worked closely with Sephiroth, he was probably around Sephiroth's age. You likely already see where I'm going with this, laying all that out lol The Zack I draw and write is very much based on that time period, and if I'm honest, that's the character I really ship with Seph. I still joke in my fics sometimes that Zack's last name might be Donovan or Darklighter, etc., which are old fandom surnames!

Now, obviously CC came out and threw all this on its head, because we finally got a whole GAME about this (important!) minor character. I have many beefs with CC's writing and Square's insistence that so many of their characters need to be child prodigies (they can't ALL be prodigies, Square!!!). With Zack going from an assumed early 20s to suddenly being 16, and all the craziness of CC's plot, the way I approached the ship changed as well.

This is where I would firmly say my stance is: I don't think Seph had any interest in Zack romantically, in CC. Because that's a kid lmao If I'm engaging with the Compilation as a whole, I definitely lean way more into the mentor/mentee relationship for the two of them. As a personal rule, I only draw them platonically if Zack's got the puppy hair, because that was the most obvious visual cue I could think of that could draw that line between Zack's teen years vs. adult. If Seph managed to not go insane, then yeah, later in life I could still see them getting together! But clearly that's already AU territory lmfao

Ultimately, what I like best about Zack & Seph is how they treat each other (while Seph is still sane lol). That goes for platonically and romantically. Zack is so genuine and kind, and treats Seph the way he always wanted to be treated - like he's human. He can joke around with Seph in a way most people simply can't. Meanwhile, Seph treats Zack's feelings with respect, even during the times he's laughing at Zack for being ridiculous. He's also honest with Zack. He answers truthfully when Zack asks what's wrong, and it's clear that it's because he knows Zack is not a threat; Zack will take Seph's feelings seriously, too. I can enjoy the drama of the trauma and heartbreak that comes with Sephiroth's descent into villainy, but my favorite stuff definitely involves a lot of Nibelheim fix-it fics lol

Despite all the changes CC made to Zack and his relationship to Sephiroth (RIP Second in Command Zax Donovan/Darklighter/Knightblade, my beloved), their actual dynamic with regard to how they treat each other stayed, miraculously, intact. That's the real reason they're still my favorite characters, and how my enjoyment of FF7 has remained as strong as it is after literal decades. Square can retcon as many things as they want in the Compilation, but they'll never stop me from making art and fic of the characters I grew up with. Unless I get a C&D for some reason LMFAO Until then, I'll keep enjoying my AUs (and if anything, I have even more reason to enjoy them now that AUs themselves are canon - you bet your ass I'll be in the AUs where ONLY OG happened and I can ignore everything else LOL)

Thank you for the questions!! It was fun to get all my thoughts written down in one huge chunk, as opposed to my typical disjointed ramblings to my friends. Hopefully it was an interesting read!

Sources:

Fanlore. “Zack Fair.” The Organization for Transformative Works, 2 Jan. 2023, fanlore.org/wiki/Zack_Fair.

Doodles, Dyra. "Way Too Much Fandom Lurking." Dyra's Childhood to Adulthood, Copious Amounts of Fanfiction, 3 Apr. 2024

[littlesapphicraccoonguy]

Ok so im a little tipsy right now but i had a thought about a sorta apprentices swap au, where Zep, Adam, Art, and Eleanor are apprentices instead of the canon ones. But im mostly gonna focus on Zep and Adam since they’re my favorites, so uh buckle up because im probably about to write a whole essay

So basically my idea was that Zep had shot and killed Lawrence before Adam could stop him, and once he did shoot Larry, Adam stops playing dead and he freaks out. Upon finding out Adam is alive, Zep decides to try and help him out of his shackle to save him(since he had already killed Larry, who was his main target, there wasn’t really a reason to leave Adam to die in there)

So as Zep is trying to help Adam, John would get up and reveal that he wasn’t dead or anything. And i think John would convince Zep to be his apprentice probably by giving him the redemption speech and telling him that he wouldn’t just be a “glorified janitor” anymore(also maybe he would change his mind and be like ‘actually you dont get the antidote for that poison unless you become my apprentice’ though that is a bit dirty lol) And he would probably tell Adam that if he became his apprentice too, he would help him with his injuries and let him out of his shackle so he wouldn’t rot in there(i guess he would have a spare key in this au)and give him the whole redemption speech as well

I imagine that Adam would be more reluctant in helping John, and also he would resent Zep for killing Lawrence even after he shows him his tape about just trying to get the antidote for the poison in his body and tell him how other people treated him. But i think Adam would feel EXTREMELY guilty for not being able to save Lawrence too, so his depression would intensify and he would develop probably develop some bad coping mechanisms…

I also think Zep would still feel bad for killing Lawrence and almost killing his family, he wouldn’t feel as guilty as Adam for not being able to save him, but it would be hard for him to live with especially with the whole torturing Allison and Diana thing(in the original script i think he cries over a drawing Diana did of her family) And i don’t think Zep would have any hard feelings towards Adam, he’s compassionate with pretty much anyone who isn’t his enemy or in his way in the movie, so i think he would be understanding on why Adam resents him so much and he would try and reassure him on Lawrence’s death not being his fault(though it wouldn’t really work)

I don’t think Zep and Adam would be rivals like Amanda and Mark though, i think Zep would be pretty nice to Adam, but Adam would just get frustrated or ignore him. I think their relationship would get better overtime though, like maybe Adam would talk to Zep more about his guilt and his other feelings(since Zep is shown to be quite kind and understanding when it comes to patients at the hospital he worked at)and maybe they would bond over shared interests(but im biased since i really like Lidshipping lmao)

And Adam would also probably take Amanda’s place in the second movie. I also think his main role would be watching other people the most out of everyone since that was pretty much what he was doing before he got put in the bathroom trap, and he would let John know about people being assholes or not appreciating their life(i also think he would be the kind of person to mostly choose people were like-genuinely awful instead of people who did minor things wrong or were actually struggling)

And I think Zep would be mad that John almost killed him, especially since he was pretty much the only person at the hospital who really felt empathy for him, but he wouldn’t get hung up on it for too long and I think he would get closer to John as well and be the one who gets him medicine from the hospital and gets medical supplies for him. But obviously him and Adam would wear those pig masks and kidnap people as well.

Yeah uh that was pretty long, thank you for coming to my Ted talk 👍

[dogwooddiaries]

Writer's Tag Game

tagged by @strangethings-everywhere and @effervescentyellow thanks for the tag! <3

Rules: Answer some or all of the questions below. Tag your fellow writers. Enjoy!

Link to your masterlist: My tiny master list is here on ao3

Favorite and least favorite genres to write (angst/smut/fluff, etc): I have a hard time writing and not including at least a little angst, so I guess that's a favorite. Not sure about my least favorite; still figuring myself out. Maybe fluff?

Favorite characters to write for? well I only write Bobby and Don really :) I have an oc that I kind of adore for this newsies thing I'm trying, but it's been different/hard making an oc...

Which one of your works is your favorite? I'm so happy with finishing Undo Me and figuring out how to get to where I wanted to go. I had fun with my melodrama and angst and unoriginal use of light as a motif and the dash of chiasmus in the plot. I also really liked where I ended up with Sneaking Around because from concept to completion, it took a couple of hours and just came to me without a bunch of planning/drafting - so like the total opposite of Undo Me. These two favorites are also my lower kudos fics :')

Which one of your fics was hardest to write? Why? Undo Me was the biggest thing to wrestle with for sure. I knew where it was going but I didn't really know the route. It was very much a Flannery O'Connor experience of "I write because I don't know what I think until I read what I say."

What is your favorite fanfic by someone else? in a show of rebellion to this singular question, I have written an essay. Like others said, fic after fic in this fandom is impressive. I love seeing the various styles, AUs, structures, etc. It's fun to see the creativity in the different works. I'll note a few much loved ones here but could never get to them all. Can You Tell I Have Been Revised by @arokel had me obsessed and in a chokehold with Don's journal and Bobby's choices when the ball was in his court. Let the Sea Roll High or Low by @kjxlll was an incredible piece of just being immersed in the time, place, and alllll the slow aching feelings. Everything felt so of the time, I recall this story in sepia tones. Kiss Me Tender by @shadowquill17 resides in my brain still, I think of it often. Stitch Me Up, Send Me Back Out to Dance by The_Hobbit_Ninja (sorry, don't know their tumblr!) was one of the very first I read in the fandom and god, I wish they still wrote for the fandom; so good. It always leads to you in my hometown by @borealopelta gutted me in the best awful way that I still feel a little unhealthy about. On the Border by @teaforarteza ate my brain, it was everything - angst, incredible smut, feelingsssss. Also, @seasidesandstarscapes 's constant new ideas and inspiration in their one shots always astounds me - if you haven't yet read their vampire au do it!! (trust me! I don't even do vampires!) @strangethings-everywhere 's WWII AU was an inspired idea to put Bobby and Don in that setting. I want to acknowledge @effervescentyellow and her as beautiful as you fic - it broke my heart while simultaneously stitching it back together. Finally, my darling and beloved The Cormorant by @sparrow-in-the-field is still in progress, but I adore it and have a probably dysfunctional obsessive relationship with it and I don't care. :D

Basically my summer vacation was made up of reading fanfic (and very occasionally writing it), can you tell?

Tags: If I mentioned you for something above OR you just want to jump in, please consider yourself tagged! <3

[malsfefanfics]

🤝📚🥪🔪

Alrighty! Let's do this!

🤝 Does your OC have someone they want at their side when they are scared? Who?

For Tancred, when he's scared, he wants only his family by his side at first. It's not until he meets the others at Garreg Mach that this expands to people like Ferdinand, Dorothea, Mercedes, and Manuela. Almost anyone from the class of 1180, really.

Rosamund doesn't really want people by her side when scared. She doesn't like people seeing her afraid. But I imagine that, aside from Hubert, she would trust Petra, Caspar, Ferdinand, Felix, and Bernadetta to see her scared. So she might seek them out, along with her brother.

Medee wants her siblings. But that can never be.

Before the tragedy, Davi would reach out for his brother Rui or grandfather when he's afraid. These days, he would reach out to Graham, who kind of took Rui's place as that pillar of strength for him. If you manage to recruit him, then that person would become the Professor.

📚 Your OC has to improvise a 10 minute lecture about a topic of their choosing. What do they chose?

Davi would immediately jump to a Duscur History lesson, focusing on the mining village he came from, along with the God of War and God of Earth from Duscur's pantheon, as those two were particularly of focus in their village.

Tancred would do a small lecture on how certain spells, while combative, can be adapted to be used in more creative ways with a little skill.

Medee will either be giving lectures on potions or making you write essays on why every ruling government on the continent sucks in a "This is why its Ronald Reagan's fault" way and it's a 50/50 chance on which you'll get.

Rosamund basically is a survivalist course. So many of these noble kids wouldn't last 10 days away from home with nothing but a knife and a sewing kit, so she's going to make sure they will.

🥪 On a scale from ‘burns water’ to '5 course menu’ how well can your OC cook?

Tancred is still a kid, but I like to imagine he eventually learns how to cook enough to pack a picnic lunch.

Medee could easily do a five-course meal. She just prefers to do smaller meals because of how much time she takes up in her labs and caring for Tancred.

Rosamund is much the same, but she's more skilled at cooking in the woods than in a kitchen. Probably the best cook out of the Vestra siblings. Would be the one in modern AUs to storm into your apartment, reprimand you for only stock piling instant ramen and beer, and then set to work making a proper dinner with the groceries she brought.

Davi is just passable. He is skilled if it's Duscur cuisine and could easily cook a fantastic feast if you gave him a kitchen, but anything you'd find at Garreg Mach? It's rather unseasoned and bland. And in the case of noodles, a little overcooked. But that's only because he hasn't learned it yet. Give him time, and he'll be on the same level as Ashe with Fódlan cuisine.

🔪 What does your OC think how they’ll die? 

This one is worded weirdly so I'm going to assume it means "how does your OC think they'll die".

Tancred was pretty convinced he'd die young due to his chronic illness. As he gets older, he starts to wonder a little, but doesn't really focus it. He probably wants to die in peace, in bed, with a smile on his face.

Rosamund hopes for the same, but thinks she'll probably die in battle. Most likely to an axe or a sword.

Medee is certain she'd be assassinated. There's enough people who want her dead, and those that don't currently will soon.

Davi was sure he was going to die of old age peacefully in bed before the Tragedy. Now he's just waiting for the day someone slips something into his drink or stabs him in the back.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

hi mac!!!! mentally i am sitting with u on the couch watchin youtube videos w u. i hope ur day was good :3 i had work 2day. did not stop me writing ghostknife!!! i wrote 2k more words in my tumblr drafts over my seven hour shift. im at 8.5k words total now. get my ass out the kitchen im cookin too hard!!!!! THAT ASIDE mac can u gimme some nhw thoughts. i wanna hear about nhw mark winters. tell me abt ur favourite gay depressed blond man!!!!!!!! i wanna hear abt him and what the winters family torment nexus is like in nhw!!!!!! holding out a microphone 2 u the floor is yours 🎤

OKAY . HI. I LOVE TORTURING THAT BLONDE MAN. im going to direct you to the mark winters essay just in case you havent read that one yet because its got context for a lot of what im gonna talk about hehe (beware for worm spoilers, ill make this answer easy 2 understand without context i promise) under the cut bc i tend to ramble about him. oops

god . okay. basis of the entire nhw mark winters character is that he is the most unlucky man in the entire world. like. literally. hes been targeted that way. universe's favorite punching bag. i could make a joke here about being god and such but ill save that for my dnd campaign.

literally. so much bad shit happens to him. and then keeps happening to him. and keeps happening. and he has to be so fucking. emotionally repressed and logical and analytic and focused or else he will go crazy. mark is one of those capes that got powers artificially (overlord forced them on him- parallel to forced experimentation in canon) but the dramatic irony of it all is that even if mark would have gotten his powers naturally through a trigger event... with the way worm powers work he probably wouldve ended up with the same powers anyway. man is a striker/tinker, which comes from "facing an immediate, in-your-face threat, usually a singular object or individual" (indirect danger from simurgh, immediate danger from ashe in his very unstable breaker form immediately after killing his mom) and "solutionless problems over long periods of time, culminating in a crisis moment" (faking his and ashe's deaths in order to escape the quarantine process of simurgh survivors, having to be on the run from any sort of scrutiny for nearly TEN YEARS, eventually resulting in being offered a job working for overlord (a notoriously cruel crime lord)) . i have a lot of feelings about that. mark goes through all of this and never has a trigger event, he gets through it all with his humanity mostly intact. and then he ends up getting powers anyway because hes forced into a corner by a fucking alligator man.

ANYWAYYYYY. the fic im writing rn is from tide's pov and its immediatly after overlords death, where tide finds mark (and a bunch of other people) unconscious in tubes after going through biological experimentation and getting. animal features. this is how mark gets the lizard stuff in this au. anyway since the fic is from tide's pov i want to take a second to talk about what it would be like from marks pov. mark disobeyed one of overlords orders because it would have meant fighting the wards (who ashe . recently joined as part of the team) . overlord does not take this well and punishes him by using him for unethical human experiments. so between that moment and overlords death, mark had been subjected to over a week of near-constant testing and surgery and he was probably awake for a lot of it and. thatll fuck a guy up!!!!! pretty fucking severely!!!!! but in the grand scheme of things a week isnt that much time. which is why his transformation is only minimal and he can still pretty much pass as human with some disguising (some of the other subjects were. not so lucky).

mark was unconscious for the entire overlord fight, so he has no idea what happens. because he was unmasked, the heroes dont recognize him as a villain so instead of going to jail he gets taken to a hospital with all of the other subjects and is basically just treated as a civilian victim. but because nobody knows who he is or his relation to ashe/auxiliary.... nobody. tells him about what happened to overlord. the wards arent as closely involved with mark in this au (and honestly they dont really like him enough to care, they really just know him as "ashe's shitty dad" and thats about it). um. well. the only person who knows his identity and knows his relation is. tide.

working for a supervillain and constantly surviving out of the public's eye for fear that someone might discover your past doesnt leave a lot of room for friends, and his only living family is currently being turned into a puppet by another supervillain (not that he knows this yet) so the only person who really visits him is tide. theyre not friends, theyre not anything to each other, really, but . they KNOW each other. they UNDERSTAND each other in a way that. nobody else in the world would. go read roswells nhw tidalwave post its everything to me . anyway im getting distracted. like i said, over a week of constant unethical experiments and body horror will fuck a guy up. three of his base biological senses/instincts have been SEVERELY messed with (eyesight is fundamentally changed by the heat sense, he cant really thermoregulate well anymore, his balance is completely thrown off by the Addition Of A New Limb) and so that makes it. really hard for him to recover into some sense of lucidity. the next handful of days after he ends up in the hospital are a complete blur of consciousness, any time he opens his eyes hes totally disoriented, hes getting these awful migraines from the strain, he cant control his body heat and it seems like hes always too cold, the scales are fucking itchy, etc etc etc. hes bedridden most of the time because he cant even stand up on his own without support bc he has to get used to the weight of a tail. for those days where he's basically stuck in bed, stuck in his room, etc. he is. bored out of his mind, hes angry, hes scared (ohhh god hes in a hospital did someone do a background check do they know who he is. he hasnt been to a real doctor in over ten years), he doesnt know how much time has passed.

tide happens to visit the first day mark is feeling lucid enough to ask about ashe. this is like. a week or so into his recovery. he overheard one of the staff talking about the date and it made him like. snap awake because he realized hes been away from home and had no way to contact ashe in like. half a month. he cant ask any of the hospital staff about what happened to his son because thats a surefire way of getting a billion questions about his identity. so when tide shows up its immediately like "where is he is someone taking care of him i hate you heroes and everything you stand for but i know hes part of that team now please tell me theyre keeping him safe" and. tide is really really good at keeping a straight face but he just has this Look in his eyes and mark Knows in that moment that every single one of his nighmares is coming true. he tries to leave, tide has to catch him because he still cant walk and hes behaving like a fucking wild animal, hes biting and clawing and just in this rage because why didnt anyone tell me sooner i couldve done something i couldve protected him ("mark, you were basically in a coma" "i dont care") . nobody knows what actually happened to ashe yet. he killed overlord and then just. went missing. nobody saw him leave. they have no lead whatsoever on where he could be (yet) and it drives mark CRAZY dude like. all mark winters knows is grief and rage. eventually the wards are given that hint about where to find him and see him with the trickster and now THEY know, but. again, they dont.. know mark as well. they dont have any reason to go tell him right away. i havent decided yet whether it would be more painful for tide to break this news to him too or if the first time mark sees his son again is . on tv unmasked using his powers in some gaudy outfit he knows ashe would never choose to wear with his hair pulled back out of his face in some intricate braid and. why are his eyes orange . what the fuck happened to him. his wholeeeeee. entire world entire existence just comes crashing down around him .

mark winters universe's most hated man

[cookinguptales]

I almost wrote a small essay in the tags of that "fanwork as content" post but realized that it would probably be better off as its own post. So now it's... a large, rambling essay. lmao

Like... to preface, AO3 is great, it's a great resource for fandom, it feels good to have a centralized location that works well. That said, there has been a steady decline in how I've felt treated as an author since we switched to an archive-only model of fic.

For people who are newer to fandom, pre-AO3 (and even in the early days of AO3), people often crossposted fic. Sometimes to websites, sometimes to journals (particularly LJ/DW), sometimes to communities, sometimes to kink memes...

AO3, while certainly one of the primary places you could upload stuff, wasn't necessarily where you would get most of your primary interaction about your fic. It was always designed to be an archive, not a social media site.

But since we moved to an archive model (and away from LJ/DW) I've noticed that fic gets almost no traction on sites that actually are intended for social interaction. I'm not saying it's easy for any creator in fandom, but god. The numbers on fic posts are just downright demoralizing.

I don't mean to sound arrogant here, but I think I'm a pretty good writer. People seem to really connect with my fic. In multiple fandoms, I've written fic that most people have read and enjoyed, to the point where people have just taken it for granted that if someone reads fic in the fandom, they've probably read something I've written.

All this is to say, I know I've written fics that people like. I know I've written fics that people connect with. And I know those posts still only get like 5 notes sometimes on Tumblr.

I'm proud of my work and I'm happy that it's gotten such a warm welcome on AO3!!! But there are times when I feel like all this means that I could write literally the best fic on earth and still no one would talk to me. People still wouldn't want to interact with me on social media sites.

I wrestled for... honestly, a long time with all this. I had a hard time putting into words why this felt so uh. Bad. Was I just self-conscious about my own writing? Yes, but that's a separate issue. Was I just jealous of others' popularity? Sort of, but it went deeper than that.

I had an issue with a fandom that I don't write in anymore. I got a lot of fanart based on my fic, which was great, which was amazing, there were even fan comics made. Visual media travels better on social media than fic. That's just a fact. And I had to watch as repeatedly, art based on the fic I wrote got thousands of notes while my fic got maybe 12. And I realized the power of social media vs. AO3 because it did get to audiences that weren't familiar with my fic and people started to give those artists credit for my ideas.

I remember watching the tags of those posts because it was occasionally the only way I'd hear feedback on what I'd written (imagine getting one comment and 5 notes on a fic, then seeing dozens of people in the tags of fanart saying that it was their favorite fic in the fandom! it was weird!) and seeing the tags gradually devolve into "oh, this is such a neat idea for an AU, artist OP" or "wow this dialogue is perfect [artist] I love it" and like

It's weird to feel so happy because so many people are enjoying your work in a transformative way but also so unhappy because you have been completely removed from the equation. No one... even knows you wrote those things anymore. You have been removed in favor of a more "marketable" version of your work.

It's uh. It's a bad feeling. I stopped writing in that fandom eventually.

So again, I felt like... idk, like there was no point in me even trying. Because I could write the best fic on earth and still somehow get erased as a person. People would want my "content," but they wouldn't want me.

I think that's what hurt my feelings so much.

What I've realized is this: what I miss is the sense of community. On LJ, you could post a fic, cross-post it to a community, and there would be comments that would become conversations that would become lasting friendships. Not always! But often. I still talk to some people daily who I met through fic on LJ over a decade ago.

In the archive model, there has almost become a death of the author. The me on social media and the me on AO3 are very different; more importantly, it's almost like it's viewed as the "me" is on social media, but the work is on AO3. I am absent. There is only the fic, not the person who created it.

And that's okay, but when you try to combine those two things on social media and it goes over like a lead balloon... idk. There's an odd sense of dehumanization. I don't mean it in like... I don't know, a dramatic human rights violation kind of way. More that I literally feel like less of a human person the way I interact with fandom these days. Like I'm no longer a person who writes fic as a way to connect with my fellow fans and more a "content creator" whose human side is separate from my creation and never the twain shall meet.

(And I'll admit it feels especially galling to be forced into the capitalistic "content creator" box when it's not even a thing I can make money off of, lmao. It's like the worst of both worlds. I feel like if I can't make money off fanfic, I should at least be exempt from capitalistic social trends during its creation.)

I'm not so much complaining about my current fandom; WWDITS has actually been one of the best fandoms for interaction I've been in since the birth of AO3. That's one of the reasons I keep writing stories for fellow fans to read -- many of those fans feel like my friends, and I want to make them happy.

I think that poster was right when they talked about how the pivot from fan to "content creator" has fucked up fandom. There is this sense that we should be treating fandom like a job, often a fast-paced one with no pay. There is this idea that we should be separated from our "content" like you might a worker from their product, and blah blah blah alienation of labor, Marx, I get it, but damn if that isn't a shitty thing to do to your fellow fans who are making art for the love of art.

There are so many things I do love about AO3. I like having a central, organized place to put my fic. I like not having to worry about my work being lost to the ages. I like having an organized comments section I can return to on bad days to cheer myself up.

But I don't like the way that fic has kind of been relegated to a portion of fandom where people aren't particularly social. I don't like the way that authors are separated from their writing. I hear people complain sometimes about A/Ns because god forbid an author leave any trace of their actual personality to distract you from their content.

I can't have DMs with someone on AO3. I can't add someone to my friends list. There are no "beloved mutuals." There is just my work and the people who are kind enough to comment on it, even if they never actually engage with me elsewhere.

It's... a weird feeling, to feel so loved and unloved at the same time. Like you keep writing trying to make something good enough that people will talk to you but like. That's really not how it works. lmao. The best fic in the world won't make you friends anymore. It won't make people see you as a fellow fan rather than a pen name under a title.

My fic is some of the most personal stuff in the entire world, but my personhood is stripped away from it. It's so fucking weird. People like my fic, but they don't like me. They remember my stories but not the person who told them. It's bizarre. It feels like having your life and experiences strip-mined for content, and then the rest of it is just... left behind.

Frankly... I work in the publishing industry IRL and I have had opportunities to write professionally. Real, tangible opportunities. But I turned them down because I've seen it, the way that trying to fit such an intensely personal art form into a capitalistic framework can be exhausting, dehumanizing, and stressful. I don't want that for my work. Fandom has always been an escape from that.

But now fandom is starting to conform to those exact same capitalistic frameworks (and ofc without any kind of capitalistic compensation) and I hate to see it. It's so stressful. I feel like we're losing a lot of what makes fandom fun for writers and we're getting pretty much nothing in return. I'm not surprised that so many writer friends I know in fandom have quit.

like damn, I just wanna have fun with a bunch of dumbshits who love to overanalyze vampires and cry over their dumbshit shenanigans, not take on a second job. one that, I reiterate, I am not being paid for.

(Note: I am not asking for payment, just that I not be treated like a worker. The tradeoff for treating someone like a worker is that they get compensated for it. If I'm not being compensated, no one gets to treat me like this is my fucking job.)

It's a weird thing, because for a lot of people, fandom has become their job. Fanartists at cons selling fanart, youtube essayists making money off videos, professional cosplayers with sponsorships, etc. And so fandom is becoming more corporate, more capitalistic, more marketable. It's frustrating for those who don't want to capitalize on our fannish output, and doubly frustrating for people who are legally unable to do so.

I'm realizing as I write this that I'm most upset about the nonconsensual capitalization of fandom, particularly when imposed on people who are unable to access the very meager benefits of capitalism. I didn't ask for any of this!

Feels like when I'd be forced to go to assemblies for the US military when I was in high school. Like I'm morally opposed to all this but I'm also not physically fit for "service" anyway, so it's doubly insulting. I feel like I've been opted into the, ah, corporatization of fandom when I'm not even eligible for employee benefits. None of this should even apply to me! ;;

Okay!! I'm all het up now so I'm gonna go eat lunch and go for a walk! No monetization of hobbies, only trees.

[sobeksewerrat]

Okay so- if you saw my aroace chr headcannon list, you probably saw Adam from Hazbin Hotel on there! It's been a while since I have written an essay, but honestly I really wanted to expand on my asexual Adam thought and @kiichu asked me to so here we go ;)

[ Just. Don't expect any actual thoughtful analysis. I am mostly just grasping at straws and projecting because I kin the dude ]

[ Oh yeah and I will reference the Trans Genesis AU a lot. Nope, Stanley and I did not abandon it. Sorry not sorry ]

First things first, let's look at his first appearance in episode 1.

Needless to say, he was a bit of an asshole. But something really stuck out to me.

In one of the scenes, he was recounting a date/one-night-stand he had to Charlie (because of course he was).

He clearly seemed to be describing the dinner date itself in detail, but he literally just caps it off with "and then we fucked, and it was awesome".

This line can be read in a few different ways, depending on your view.

1. They didn't actually fuck, the woman ditched him or didn't exist to begin with and he's lying to seem cooler.

2. It wasn't awesome (*at least for him, but yk could go both ways) and he wasn't about to go into detail about his less-than-stellar sexual encounter (I feel. Really uncomfortable writing this, I am too ace for this shit).

3. The logical explanation of the writers not wanting to include it for rating reasons and because of the episode's already short run time and also because we as the audience don't really need to know that. Though I think that if that were just that, a better alternative would've been that Adam either continues describing the date or starts describing the sex and either Lute or Charlie (or both) stop him.

For my interpretation of the ace Adam, we'll go with the second interpretation.

Allos love pointing out how "asexuals can still date/have sex" but they always neglect one thing: that's not exactly how sex-favourable and sex-neutral aces work.

I can't speak for everybody on the spectrum (especially since I am mostly repulsed), but wanting to have sex doesn't mean you feel sexual attraction.

So yeah this doesn't disprove him being asexual, though I am aiming for a very different interpretation.

Sex-repulsed Adam.

NOW, PLEASE HEAR ME OUT I KNOW I SOUND CRAZY!!

Ace men rarely get any representation, and a lot of men (especially cis men, but trans men too) don't realize they're ace or are actively in denial about it because of this thing called ✨toxic masculinity✨

I don't think it's too much of a hot take to say that Adam clearly falls into a lot of toxic masculinity stuff.

Being literally the first man, the original dick (or the original pussy if we're talking about the tgau), he is probably expected to uphold these harmful beliefs of masculinity or at least thinks he has to to be taken seriously (or be percieved as cis at least-).

Therefore, he's probably is in deep, deep denial of his asexuality and tries to cover it up by, well, sleeping around I guess (*hopefully not with human souls because i don't need any of the implications that come with that).

But that doesn't necessarily mean he enjoyed it, you know.

Now I don't wanna go too deep into this honestly quite depressing line of thought, so to keep it brief that's probably why he wouldn't go into detail about that one night stand- even though he totally seems like the type of guy who would talk about this stuff in excessive and unnecessary detail (can you tell I love torturing this guy. I mean if yk the TGAU you probably already know but shush).

That or because a lot of aces literally cannot talk about sex seriously. It has to be a joke or about an ao3 smut fic.

*ahem* Moving on-

The infamous "Now, I'm going to FUCK you" scene that every Adamsapple shippers love (no hate to Adamsapple shippers btw, except @roryheart fuck you Rory /lh silly (I love you buddy don't take this seriously)).

Just. Just look at his face when Lucifer says it.

It could just be pure confusion, which is quite understandable tbh.

Or we could go with the funny interpretation of Adam being so autistic and ace, he thought for a second that Lucifer was actually hitting on him this whole time and he just didn't notice. Purely because this has actually happened to me before and I wanna project-

Moreover, he looks lowkey disgusted by it and just attacks Lucifer immediately.

Whatever, now we get to the ✨angst potential✨ of ace Adam.

Elaborating on the bit of toxic masculinity from earlier, maybe he thinks that his aversion to stuff like is why both Lilith (and presumably Eve) cheated on him with Lucifer, because he wasn't a real man.

And if we wanna get really depressing, all we have to do is just remember that his only purpose was to have as many children with Eve (and previously Lilith) as possible to populate the Earth.

Yeah, sounds like a total nightmare scenario.

I have a few other ideas, but they're really half baked and not really well put together and stuff- idk I just think ace Adam is a cool idea.

Sorry if this wasn't exactly the essay any of you were looking for but I genuinely just think it'd be fun and kinda interesting to explore really.

Btw gonna make "sobek rants" exclusively for angry rants and gonna repurpose "brainingsewer" for essays and analysis and stuff. Not that anybody really cares about my tagging system.

[dynamic-k]

sighhsss... yet ANOTHER ask from me XD

This surprisingly is just one question. unless I come up with more as I write.

But when Blue and Red were looking through the public telescope, the description said something like 'thousands of IP addresses littered the sky', as well as 'wifi tunnels' etc. (I would get the quote but my internet is going to cut in like a few minutes)

Soooo... Is 'the human world' real in Super Sticks?

If so, why is Alan and Kaori still in the 'stick world'?

WAIT IS DJ HERE???

...i just thought of something.

In 'The Spark', chapter 4 is named 'Otherworldly', and there are hints of there being other worlds throughout the first 4 chapters. not sure about the 5th one, I haven't looked through it carefully

Therefore, IF there are other worlds, BOTH in Super Sticks and The Spark, CROSSOVER?!?

YOOOO- ok i need to go to sleep now. I'll think about it tomorrow and report ramble back in another ask!

Good night! :D

-R

Oh no, my plans are being predicted- /j

Okay, no, I'm kidding. XD I didn't have a crossover planned, the universes are separate. AUs!! :D Ehehehe

...But I am really glad you picked up on some Spark AU lore~~ :3 I have so SO SO MUCH to unpack there!!! ...f you ask me about it, I might go full-on essay mode with my answer- :I

[Chapter 5 of The Spark is mostly fluff, with some conversational lore that hints at future angst, but none of that alluded further to the "Otherworldly" branch of lore. :3 (I do hope you enjoy💕)]

The human world is real in Super Sticks!! I have alluded to this a few times, like how Dark was totally much better than "that Iron Man guy" he'd seen in a human movie once.

The sticks are aware there are humans, but every stick lives in the Outernet, unable to communicate with humans, unable to interact with humans, unable to prove their own existence to humans. (not like anyone wants to, though)

In Super Sticks, Alan and Kaori are just sticks and not all-powerful creators, giant humans behind a screen and whatnot. Part of the AU is also the fact that hollowheads are caused by a rare genetic in stick figures, of which the Becker family is prominent in since Alan [a hollowhead] married Kaori [another hollowhead], hence the kids are all more hollowheads and quite the unusual bunch. But, there are probably a few other random hollowheads somewhere in Stick City or in other nearby towns.

[Though, I do not personally have any plans to make up hollowhead OCs or any interactions. All I do is make the fact known that others exist, and move on with my day-]

Is DJ here? I don't think so? Maybe, but he's far off in another town? I have no clue how to write DJ!! ...Actually, wait, no I think I could pull that off, I watch enough AvG- BUT STILL! I don't have practice-

= w = Maybe some day? I'll give it a shot or something, I like exploring new things. On a good day. Maybe give me a coffee first- I haven't had one yet today, but I've been awake long enough I'm somewhat coherent for ask answering. ..Hopefully.

:3 Have good sleeperings! I shall work on the other one currently still in my inbox, and hopefully get all cleared up so I can await more asks-

Honestly, with Super Sticks somewhat being on a mini-hiatus at the moment --both due to mild writer's block on one little scene of chapter 8, and also due to a draft situation in which I can only access a certain document on my phone and still have to earn said phone back from Mom so I can continue where I left off-- ...with all that happening, these asks are really helping my brain to continue simmering the AU on a central burner in my mind stove!

Oh, Spark AU, my pride and joy, my beloved world born from a dream. That also is on a central burner. I don't often ask for asks- But uh-

WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE I LOVE RAMBLING ABOUT SPARK AU-

okaybyenow, sorryformyweirdness-

[sandboxer]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I was tagged by @samioli ! Thank you!

1. How many works do you have on A03?

29

2. What's your total A03 word count?

82,735

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Ace Attorney babeeyyy

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

The Sum of Two Halves

Looking Out for You

Just Like You Always Don’t

Persuade Me

Lined in Lace

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Absolutely!! Most of the reason I write is because I have a concept/scene/theme I want to discuss with people, and fics are often a more efficacious means of expressing those ideas than traditional essays. I miss a few here and there but for any comment that’s more than a “thank you” I try my best to give a good response :’)

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

blood runs cold — Phoenix rejects any meaning his friendship with Edgeworth could have had after his death. I’m not much for angst usually, but I do love writing ghost stories and horror, so I really enjoyed writing Edgeworth’s emotional presence as a ghost.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

probably The Sum of Two Halves — though it’s a bit open-ended wrt narumitsu, I do think Edgeworth being able to reconcile his personal and professional lives in a way that makes him comfortable is the happiest possible resolution for the story I wanted to tell there

8. Do you get hate on fics?

nothing that sticks in my mind from this fandom thankfully

9. Do you write smut?

it seems to be all I can write lately

10. Do you write crossovers?

I’ve never written an explicit crossover, but I have been stewing for a while on a fic where AA characters are essentially thrown into the plot of Community

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have! in another fandom, as a birthday present for my now-roommate

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

[suppresses the part of me that wants to say johnlock] narumitsu :)

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

either my aforementioned Community AU or a very sweet fic about narumitsu getting it on at the magshoe wedding

16. What are your writing strengths?

I’d say I do really well with poetic, ornamental language. anything flowery and figurative!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

when I read things over, I think I tend to skimp out on dialogue… conversations tend to be short and to the point, rather than meandering around the end goal in a more realistic way

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I could! I have strong enough Spanish and German skills to get away with it, so perhaps

19. First fandom you wrote for?

………………dan and phil

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

aaahhh this is hard! I really love the Blooming series, but I also am very obsessed with my current WIP ones and zeroes :’) both are very personal to me

Tagging: @blackcvrds @aawrightworth @faerieyuri

[agent-troi]

Find the Word (Love Themed) tag

Thanks for the tag @randomfoggytiger! this looks like fun lol

The rules are simple, find the given words in your writing (WIP, Published, a college essay - it doesn't matter) or something close enough (I think conjugating verbs and finding synonyms are both fair game) share an excerpt, and tag some friends and some new words to play too.

Words for me to find:

Heart, Laugh, Gaze, Tickle, Tease

Words for you to find:

Hug, Kiss, Pine, Need, Swoon

---

Heart

From Driftwood Lullaby:

"As she drifted off to sleep, her thoughts swam together, and visions of rose petals and snowflakes and hailstones shaped like hearts danced beneath her closed eyelids."

Laugh

From Sweet Kisses:

“So…” Mulder appeared to struggle for words. “It’s me after all, then?” Scully frowned, confused at the apparent non sequitur. “What’s you?” “Agent Scully is already in love.” Mulder quoted Padgett’s words, looking sheepish as he shuffled his feet back and forth. “I couldn’t think of anyone else it could be, but then I saw you with Brad…” “Oh, Mulder.” Scully pulled him into her arms. “It’s always been you.” He wrapped his arms around her tightly in return and pressed his face into her hair. They stood together in silence for a long time. Finally Mulder spoke. “So, should I go back and get those flowers out of the trash for you, or should I buy you a fresh bouquet?” Scully laughed into his shoulder. “Forget the flowers, Mulder.” She pulled back to look into his eyes. “Take me wherever you were going to take me, and then give me some real sweet kisses.”

Gaze

I actually found one in my Scully astronaut AU WIP! Lol

"As she walked, she looked up and found her gaze immediately drawn to a pale blue dot, barely visible to the human eye."

Tickle

I... don't think I've actually used this word in a fic before, ever😂 but let me see if I can at least find a synonym...

Well, onelook says that "thrill" is a synonym for tickle... not the first meaning that comes to mind but I'll take it lol

From Where A Million Stars Catch Fire:

“Do you have plans tonight?” Diana was asking Mulder. “I could come over to your place, or you could come to mine, and we could watch it again together.” Scully scowled and turned back to her computer, setting her coffee down a little harder than was strictly necessary. She was done torturing herself. If Mulder wanted to waste his time with that woman, it was none of her business. “Actually, uh… I do have plans, as a matter of fact.” “Really?” Diana sounded just as surprised as Scully felt. She took another sip of her coffee, doing her best to pretend she wasn’t eavesdropping. “Yeah. Sorry, Diana. Maybe next time.” Scully next heard the clacking of Mulder’s keyboard, and she was curious enough to surreptitiously turn around again. What she saw secretly thrilled her. Mulder was focused on his work with an intensity she had never seen outside of the basement, and he now appeared to be completely ignoring Diana, who looked utterly taken aback. “Oh… all right. Another time, then. I’ll, uh… see you later, Fox.” Mulder grunted and gave her a little wave, not looking up from his computer. Nonplussed, Diana turned away from him and headed back the way she came, which took her past Scully’s desk. Her eyes narrowed with apparent suspicion, and she nodded coolly in greeting. “Agent Scully.” “Agent Fowley.”

Tease

From A Most Owlish Conundrum:

She regarded him with exasperated affection. “What about you, then? What’s your threshold number of owls?” Mulder popped a sunflower seed into his mouth and cracked it between his teeth, spitting the shell into the door’s ashtray. “Um… four.” Scully frowned, nonplussed. “Why four? And under which circumstances?” “All of them. Four is the smallest of the unlucky numbers, so assuming a supernatural explanation for the owls, that’s probably when I’d begin investigating.” “I never took you for a tetraphobic, Mulder,” she teased him. “I have no fear for the number four, Scully, just a healthy respect.” His wry humor made her giggle. “This is a ridiculous conversation.”

Tagging @katy-kt-katie @tofuttim @doctorbeverlycrusher @keldabe-kriff @eighthprincessofheart @cipher-fresh and whoever else wants to do this! I think most of the writers I know have already been tagged lol