#I could tell I gained weight but 20 pounds??

[quiet-admirer]

I still can't believe I let 20 whole pounds sneak up on me like that 👀

[filled-with-fat]

How being surrounded by fat friends helped me gain weight 🍟🍕🍟🌭

Pretty much all of my teenage years I was skinny. I didn’t eat much, partly because the school canteen food was abhorrent, but I also just didn’t have much of an appetite. I would spend time playing sports in the park or riding my bike. But, when I moved to college, my whole friend group changed, and I became very close with several ‘big-girthed’ people. In fact, the first person I actually met at college, Sebastian, was at least 3x the size of me. And so this gradually had an effect on me; every time we would hang out, food would be involved, we would go to Krispy Kreme every break to grab donuts and shakes, and we would never walk anywhere — Sebastian could hardly walk a flight of stairs so naturally we would always take the lift. I think on reflection, the people you surround yourself with do undeniably have an effect on you; I quickly became very idle and grew accustomed to having unhealthy, calorific snacks during the day.

Inevitably, this had an impact on my weight as well. After the first semester, I had put on several pounds. I was no longer that skinny boy who played sports and ate healthy foods. I was chubby and fat. But my friends, who were also significantly overweight, they praised my new-found lard. Whilst my family and friends from home were strictly warning me to lose some weight and cut back on the eating, my friends at college supported my weight gaining journey. I truly felt accepted for the first time in my life, and this felt unbelievably euphoric.

By the end of the first year, I was unrecognisable of my former self. I was this 400lbs, morbidly obese 20 year old, with a large belly swung from side to side as I waddled, and a pair of moobs larger than a d-cup. My family disowned me. They sent me a letter telling me how disgusted they were at how fat I had gotten, and had signed me up to a fat camp. I was not allowed home until I had lost at least 50lbs.

I didn’t.

For the first time in my life, I felt accepted and welcomed by a group of friends that supported me for who I was, they loved my fat and appreciated my large body from all of its angles. So I decided to stay round Sebastian’s house for the summer, instead of attending some camp that wanted to take away my glorious obese body. Me and Sebastian would eat breakfast every morning, feeding each other several rounds of pancakes topped with chocolate ice cream, and waffles with maple syrup. We would sit by the lake near to his house and eat the McDonald’s and Burger King takeouts we had ordered. It was a summer of eating and a summer of pleasure, as our relationship progressed.

One night, as I started getting undressed to use the outdoor shower beside his house, Sebastian asked if he could join me. I didn’t hesitate to respond yes. He helped me as I pulled off my tshirt and pants. I could see his eyes gently admiring my morbidly obese body. As the warm shower water fell onto our skin, Seb bathed my body in soap, sliding the bar between my fat rolls. I did the same to him. My hands felt the true size of his belly; the stretch marks that ran along his sides and his enormously deep belly button. We both laughed as I tried to lift his belly up; I imagined it must’ve weighed at least 100lbs in itself. Seb began to push me up against the shower wall, I felt the gravity of his weight against mine, which turned me on. He leaned in to kiss me, and I felt his wet hairy beard against my soft chin.

By the end of the summer and upon our return to college, Seb and I were officially boyfriend and boyfriend, we had each gained a significant amount of weight, and I had never felt happier.

[fatphobiabusters]

I explained to a fatphobe today the documented fact that has been known for decades of how there is no scientifically-proven way to lose weight long-term and that dieting doesn't work. His response was to tell me that I need to try for "longer than a week."

I did. I tried for years, probably longer than he ever managed to keep a single friend around to listen to his assholery. The only time I ever had any "success" had also been due to me dieting for longer than a week. Two weeks to be exact. Where I lost 20 pounds.

That's over 9 kilograms, if you measure weight that way.

I lost the same amount of weight as a watermelon. A car tire. A lawn mower. An office chair. The weight of an entire patio table.

In two weeks.

If you want more numbers, that was 2 and a half hours of exercising on exercise equipment at levels dangerous for my body. Every day.

14 days of a self-imposed famine. A salad here or there when I couldn't take the pain in my stomach anymore. And then, of course, going right back to starving.

My mom who had helped teach me to hate my body for not being the width of a pencil had even managed to notice how much weight I lost and how fast. She forcibly weighed me, not that weighing me accomplished anything. She didn't know my previous weight.

I saw my childhood friend for the first time in quite a while after losing the weight of two newborn babies in half a month. The first thing I asked her is if she noticed I was thinner. I had always compared myself to her growing up. She was naturally thin, needed no effort at all to stay barely thicker than her bones. She would only eat a few bites of food, slowly, and only if it was to her taste. For many years as a kid, she was the single person I knew who ate baloney, let alone as one of the handful of foods she was willing to consume. I grew up thinking thin people ate nothing more than a bowl of steamed broccoli for dinner because nothing I did ever made me as small as her.

When she told me she noticed, I smiled. I was proud that I had so severely abused my body, that I had lost an extremely alarming amount of weight in such a short amount of time.

The only time. The one instance I had ever managed to lose a noticeable amount of my body. My fat genetics and PCOS don't really help in that regard.

I'm now nearly double the weight I had starved to as a teenager. My story follows the research studies to a T.

By the end of high school, I had already gained back the whole 20 pounds. And after high school, I gained that "and then some" so many people experience. 95% of people who try to lose weight end up gaining the weight back within 3-5 years, most becoming bigger than the weight they started with. I didn't "willpower enough" into that 5% success rate. Abusing my body those two weeks so I could be an entire shopping cart lighter and then obsessing about my weight throughout my high school years wasn't enough "willpower" it seems.

I gained more weight afterwards due to medicine, mental disability, untreated PCOS, a pandemic, more attempts at starvation, being bedridden in a tent for two years, and my body, like many bodies, wanting to grow into those fat genetics of mine now that I was no longer a teenager.

I did, in fact, try longer than a week. Now it's time to reciprocate and try treating fat people like human beings for a mere seven days. Here's an app for you to log all of the fat people you didn't tell to die, and make sure you use all your willpower. I have a neighbor whose sister's boss managed to not tell fat people to die for two whole years! They're still refraining from doing so today. All her boss needed to do was stop drinking sodas and have the willpower to succeed.

Have you tried that?

-Mod Worthy

[gainingpeach]

You write that you have been in the feederism community since 2015 and have been inadvertently gaining weight for 3 years. Who or what led you into this scene, which I am also stuck in and feel very comfortable in, just like you? Were you a slim girl in the past, or have you always been chubby? According to your bio (350-360 SW) you must have always been pretty fat? Can you tell me in which period you gained the 100 pounds, surely from the time with your bf/feeder? I think that a girl who decides to gain weight and get fat has a lot of self-confidence, courage and curiosity to take this step, contrary to societal 'views'. A lot more girls should go down this path, not just us two, because BEING FAT IS COOL AND BEAUTIFUL-:)

I have always been “bigger” or fat I guess you could say. In my early 20s 400 pounds was my highest weight and when I moved out on my own I actually lost a bit and got down to 310ish during the pandemic because I was working at Amazon. While I was still working there, I started stuffing on my own on my days off and it sparked my interest in gaining I also started realizing my feedee tendencies and I wanted to give into them more.

Flash forward I meet my boyfriend who is also my feeder 🥰 I told him I wanted to explore feedism together and we have been enjoying it ever since.

When I met my bf I was around 330ish, I wasn’t initially gaining but i definitely packed on relationship weight and then when I decided I was going to actively gain I was probably 360 and 2022-present is when I have been consistently packing on the pounds. I hope that answered your question 😅

[mylevisdontfitanymore]

I would looooove if you could write a little something about Steve and Bucky celebrating Bucky reaching weight gaining milestones. Stuff like going up his first size, out growing his drivers seat, reaching 300,400, 500 etc (maybe also reaching immobility?? If that’s not too extreme haha sorry just a wish)

Like do they celebrate with feast, a special meal that has emotional meaning to them, buying Bucky new clothes/gifts?

Thank you for indulging me!

Not gonna lie, I am BAD at actual numbers and knowing what someone would look at that size so.... this might be rough, but I'm trying and I'm not thinking too hard because, uh, horny brain = dumb

Warning for unbeta'd stucky belly kink, lots of stuffing, weight gain, some immobility, etc.

I think the through line of all these milestones is one thing: stuffing.

It might seem kind of unimaginative because aren't they just stuffing Bucky to make him gain anyway? What's special about stuffing him when he reaches a milestone? Well. Let me tell you -

When Bucky reaches a milestone, Steve makes sure the stuffing is extra ✨️special✨️

He goes all out, making sure to get anything and everything that Bucky has been recently craving, and ensuring that he orders as much as he can that way there's no interruptions in their session. He also ensures that Bucky is pampered throughout the stuffing. Anything he wants, he gets. Steve isn't mean when he doesn't hit milestones, not unless Bucky wants him to be 😏, but he's more inclined to let Bucky struggle, sweating and panting and rubbing his own tummy. When he hits a milestone, Steve will all but pat his damp forehead dry, handfeed him every little bite, peel his grapes, cut his food into bite-sized pieces, rub his belly, belly him put his feet back to recline under his growing gut, and anything and everything else.

Steve makes it worth his while. They both are obsessed with Bucky's weight gain, if they weren't, they wouldn't be hitting so many milestones to begin with, and they both know that, but these celebratory stuffing milestones are Steve's way to really, truly express that obsession. That admiration. He can't fucking believe that Bucky is growing so large and round for him. The weight is piling on. It's incredible.

200

Bucky starts his weight gain journey around 180lbs, so the first 20 pounds don't really look that different. Unless someone is really looking for that extra little bit of softness, they wouldn't see it. His face is a tiny, tiny bit rounder. His ribs are less visible. His belly pooches out, it's no longer flat, but he could also could just be bloated. It's not huge (not yet 😏). His thighs and waist aren't really noticeably larger, either, they're squishier but... not bigger, really.

Those first 20lbs are different, though.

20lbs.

That is an accomplishment.

Bucky's body is changing.

Steve and Bucky can't wait to see him change even more. Rounder. Bigger. Fatter. Yes. So... in anticipation of getting larger, they celebrate these 20 pounds with a stuffing and unknowingly set the tone for the rest of their milestone celebrations.

They celebrate with a stuffing. Bucky's most indulgent stuffing yet.

Steve orders take out from several different restaurants, having the deliveries staggered so none of Bucky's food gets cold while he works on the first course. Bucky jokes halfway through the second order that if all of Steve's orders for him are so massive, he won't last through another one! There's no way! He's already running out of room. His gut is heavy, getting heavier. He's not chubby enough yet for his tummy to be squishy when he's full. He's full. He's taut. He can press his fingers into the tight, round, surface pushing out from his ribs, but it aches when he does. He can feel all that food in there.

Steve takes over when the next course arrives, feeding him with one hand, rubbing his starter belly with the other. Massaging him to softness so they can wedge more calories in him.

"C'mon, yeah, yeah, that's it," Steve encourages, drooling as if he's the one filling up on rich, delicious food, not the other way around, "swallow it, good boy, you got this. You can do it. You gotta keep eating. Doesn't this feel good?"

Bucky moans, chewing and throwing his head back to swallow, feeling the food push down his throat in a sizable lump and land on top of the mound of food bloating him into a round balloon. It does feel good.

Really good.

"Yeah, I know, baby," Steve replies, shoveling more into his mouth for him, "don't you want more? You wanna feel even better. You wanna get even fatter."

Bucky mumbles his agreement, "yesh," through his food, even though it's a rhetorical question. This does feel incredible. He really does want more. More food. More of Steve's big, heavy hands on his growing, gurgling belly. More fat. More stretch marks. More achy cramps from muscles pulled tight. More fullness. More. More. More.

Could he already be addicted to this?

The doorbell rings again.

Delivery.

Bucky groans, dropping his head back and shutting his eyes just to swallow. He really doesn't know.

"Looks like you'll get your wish," Steve sounds like he's wearing a shit-eating grin.

Fuck.

"Don't worry," he gives Bucky another quick forkful before standing up and moving toward the door, "it looks like you'll get your wish, baby."

Bucky swallows; his stomach whines, making his dick twitch. So. full. "Uh-huh," he puffs.

"It's just dessert," Steve softens, smiling and coming over with, thank fuck, just one bag of take out.

By the time Bucky has demolished the bag, courtesy of Steve shoveling bite after bite after bite between Bucky's sugary, sweet lips, Bucky's head is spinning. Steve is rubbing his belly around where Bucky's hands are glued to his excessive, domed tummy. He's never been rounder. He's never eaten more - not on Thanksgiving, not on Christmas, not during any of their stuffing sessions before. He's never seen himself so big. He's never -

He's breathing so hard.

He's sweating buckets.

He's tight.

He's hard.

He's full.

He's never been so stuffed. Speaking of Thanksgiving, he feels like a gorged turkey. Packed. Dense. Oooh. Fuck. He groans. It feels so good. Why does it feel so good? It should feel bad! His stomach is throbbing, tight and achy, but so is his cock. He's not used to how connected his cock and belly are still. How can his stomach swelling make him so horny? 😫😫

Fuck it, he doesn't care when it's so good!

It gets even better when, with awe and arosual in his voice, Steve tells Bucky he's done. He finished everything. There's nothing left.

"Oh my god, you're a blimp-"

Bucky shivers, blinking his eyes open and gaping, food-drunkenly, down at himself. His gut.

His. gut.

"Look at you," Steve coos, rubbing him.

Bucky can't let go of himself.

He's-

He's big.

So big.

He can't believe this is real.

"You're, God, I've never seen you so," he trips over his words, truly fucking thrilled, "so fat."

Bucky whines, he wants to shout, I know! I know! But he can't speak, he's breathing too hard.

"What do you say, baby, wanna take this party to the bedroom, stretch out? Let this tummy bloat?"

Fuuuuck.

He's so stuffed and -

And he's gonna grow bigger. Steve is so right. All that grease and fat and rich sweetness from the takeout. He's going to bloat even bigger. He might pop! He does need to stretch out! He nods.

How much weight has he gained sitting here, in pure food? How much weight is he going to gain, digesting all this food? How fat can he possibly get?

"Alright, up you get, then," Steve murmurs, getting up himself first. After, he looks at Bucky expectantly.

Trying his hardest, Bucky fights the heavy mound of his gut, sticking straight out from his torso, solid with food. He heaves, once, twice, three times, he, he-

He can't get up.

Bucky gasps for air around his stretched belly. His lungs are crushed. Short of breath from being so round. Bucky wants to moan, but he doesn't have the air for that either. His hands scramble against the tight, hard surface of his belly, reaching for something, anything to pull himself up, but not getting anywhere because he doesn't want to stop touching himself. He can't stop touching himself. He feels so good. Solid. Round. Tight.

Steve-

Steve watches him with dark, intense eyes. Looking at him like he wants to take a bite of him. "Are, are you-" he doesn't finish. He can't.

Bucky whimpers thinly, nodding urgently. He is. He really is too big to get himself up off the couch. That's never happened before! He's too stuffed! Too round!

Bucky is ungodly turned on.

All he can think about is how good he feels and how much he can't wait until he doesn't have to be stuffed to feel like this. He wants to be so fat that he can't get up even when his belly is empty, except, wait, no! He never wants his belly to be empty again. He wants to be stuffed always. He wants to be stuffed twice as large as he is right now because he wants all this heavy, heavy food to be fat. Soft-yet-firm fat. Wobbling and round. He wants-

Steve jerks him up by the wrists. He's panting, too. He has no excuse. He's not stuffed to the point of the best kind of achy, throbby pain.

Steve's large, strong hands land on his hips, suddenly steering him - walking behind him with his lips to Bucky's ear - "c'mon tubby, you need your rest to work through all these calories," his fingers caress the impossibly round belly attached to Bucky. His belly. His belly! That's all Bucky's! "Let's get you to bed." Steve's voice lowers to a whisper, "I'm gonna lay you back and suck the fuck outta your dick, baby, this is the hottest shit I've ever seen. I can't believe you vacuumed all that food up. You're a little, well," he chuckles, "maybe not little, but you're a black hole."

Bucky leans his bigger mass back into Steve, stumbling, toddling, and weak at the knees from his words.

Fuck.

He's going to do anything to keep hitting milestones. All of this is so unbearably hot. The excess. The fullness. The weight.

300

Again, when Bucky finally, fucking finally, yet also so soon, how has it been so long since he was 200 lbs and no time at all with how fast the weight is piling on - ballooning in thick, chubby rolls - they celebrate with a stuffing where Bucky eats as much as he possibly can.

Engorging himself beyond belief. Fatter, fatter, fatter. Rounder, rounder, rounder. The numbers just keep ticking up. From 180 to 200 to 250 to 300. It's so satisfying to watch those digital numbers tick up, almost as satisfying as rubbing his hands over the dome of his belly, pushing out from his plump moobs.

This time -

This time, when Bucky eats as much as he can, stuffing himself, it's so much more.

More.

More in that Bucky and Steve start at a restaurant, dining in. Steve chooses Bucky's order. Steve makes sure to get a dish he knows Bucky loves, but going for the more indulgent, more expensive order that Bucky wouldn't dare if he were in control. The plate is massive. Stacked with food.

Steve remembers when Bucky's eyes would've gone wide, thinking how will I possibly fit all of that inside me?

Now, the opposite happens. His eyelids hang heavily over his eyes, pupils expanding and darkening. He's thinking, I can't wait to put all of this inside me and more.

"You hungry, baby?" Steve asks, playing footsy with him under the table.

Bucky knocks their shoes together, "mmm-hmm," he moans, dramatically shutting his eyes and inhaling deeply at the aroma of his food.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Dig in, tubby."

Bucky moans softly under his breath, obeying.

He shovels the meal into his mouth in record time, practically licking his plate clean and moaning around the taste even though he's stuffing himself so effectively that Steve doesn't possibly know how he can taste it. Steve lets his meal last... Bucky will need a little time to digest between now and the food they're going to have waiting at home. Fucking bless scheduled deliveries.

Steve orders them dessert to go, having their waiter box it up. The fudgy cake will be perfect to top Bucky off after his second and third courses. Maybe his fourth, too. Steve and Bucky are on the same page with pushing limits. Bucky will end tonight tight as a drum and round enough to roll. He can't think like that if he wants to get up any time soon, though. 🥵

"St-" Bucky pauses to burp into his fist, "Steve," he moans, shifting in his creaking, wooden kitchen table chair. He's nearly too heavy for it even when he's not stuffed with 10 or more pounds of dinner.

"What, baby?" Steve's fingers feel cool against Bucky's damp, feverish forehead, brushing a stray strand of hair out of the way.

Bucky can hardly breathe, his gut is pressing into his body so much. It feels like he hasn't got room. He needs. He -

"Steve," he moans again.

"Babyyy," Steve rubs firm circles on the tight, tight surface of his belly, "what is it?"

"Guh," he complains. He can feel sweat pooling at the base of his spine, above his thick ass, arched with the weight at his front. He can feel dampness under his arms and between his bloated belly and round, fat pecs. He might be sweating in the crease of his double chin. God. When did eating become such hard work?

"Do you need to get outta this chair, Buck? Is it too small for you? Huh?"

Bucky nods, burping and moaning at the same time. Every release of pressure feels so fucking good.

He knows he can get more in, he wants to get more in, he just needs-

Oof.

He needs to get more horizontal. He's being pressed in on, on all sides; the arms of the chair digging into his blubbery, stacked, and stretch-marked sides; the back of the chair pressing into his big, big ass; his belly so tight and full that it's hurting his lungs. His poor body. He's compressed and about to pop.

"Alright, fatty," Steve softens, grabbing his thickening wrists and pulling him forward.

It takes effort.

Steve has to heave, grunting. Bucky has to put in all his strength against his weight. The chair creeeeaks.

"Ugh!" Bucky groans, his arms trying to soothe his sloshing belly. He can't, though, Steve is still grabbing him, still trying to get him up. Fuck. Fuck, he's such a fat ass. How can eating be such hard work? How can struggling to get up feel so good? How can getting fat be so luxurious? Fatter. Getting fatter. He was already fat.

Finally, Bucky's sides unstuck. Unwedged. Popping free.

He nearly topples forward, all his weight fighting gravity going forward, forward, forward and-

Steve steadies him with a laugh, "woah, there," patting him on the bowed out side.

Bucky's whole belly ripples. Christ. He's never felt fatter. His back complains, arching more. It's like he's pregnant. God. Oh, God, what did he eat that was so heavy? How did he get so heavy?

He staggers after Steve, going wherever he leads. Panting. Wobbling. Struggling. The thing that keeps him from taking a break, asking for a breather like a true fatty, is more. More food. He gets more after this.

More.

He's not done yet.

This celebration is going to end with a bang. That bang might be Bucky popping.

Fuck.

He's gonna explode.

Sitting on the couch is easier than sitting at the table. The couch doesn't force him to sit up so straight. It's easier. He can feel all the food shifting inside him, glorping and sloshing. He almost feels... hungry. On the couch, he can leave his arms splayed out by his throbbing sides, giving himself room to bloat. Rounder. Tighter. Skin flushing redder. Fuck. Mooore. He moans for it.

More.

Steve answers his cries, hand feeding him. He takes care of Bucky so well, and with every bite Bucky moans - he swears he can feel himself growing with each bite.

He might, fuck, it's so intense that he might black out. All he knows is there's a barrage of food that's going down his gullet and landing in the massive pot that is his gut. Tight. Tight. Tight.

At some point, he's done. He can't breathe. His lungs can't expand. There's no room in his body. His belly is completely solid. Stuffed to the absolute brim. Gluttonous bliss. All of the fat that's grown on his heavy frame feels a hell of a lot less jiggly suddenly.

Shit.

Fuck.

He huffs. He puffs.

Steve is talking to him, telling him something about how hot he is. So full and stuffed. Sitting on his ass, getting bigger. Larger. Gonna be so huge.

It all rolls over Bucky. He can only focus on the pulse of his racing heart in his belly. He, he-

Steve rubs his gut, and he swears it's so good he might cream in his underwear. His underwear feels too tight. He's never been so impossibly packed. Solid all the way through. He'll never move again. He's never felt so fucking huge. He's never felt more fucking sexy. Everything about this is sexy. Blindingly so. Greedy. Excessive. Gluttonous.

Steve's fingers stray from Bucky's struggling, stretched skin over his broad gut and dip into his shallow belly button.

"OH!" Bucky wails. He's so sensitive there! It tingles, and the hot, thick pleasure shoots electrically straight to his dick where it's trapped under the boulder of his belly.

Steve fucks his belly button with his fingers, thrusting, curling, pressing.

"Ohhhh, oh, ohh, God!"

Steve keeps at it. Fingering his belly. He's trying to jiggle and wobble his fat, but he's so tight. He's too packed. Made illogically huge.

Pleasure curls hot and tight and electric inside Bucky. How is there room?! It's even more intense now than it was before - how full he is. He's going to come. He's going to pop. Burst. Explode. Fat. Fatter. The weight of his gut on his swollen cock is good but really, it's just that he's been rewired to find his gut insanely erotic. He's grown, and he's gotten more sensitive. His nerves feel like they're most alive over his gut. Steve's thick fingers in his belly button are what's doing him in.

Christ!

Bucky wails when he comes, his dick entirely untouched. His poor, abused, stretched belly the only thing getting loved on.

Steve stares, stunned. "Fuck, I fucking love you, glutton," he rasps, nearly speechless.

400

Bucky is 400 lbs, and he has truthfully never felt so good.

It's so much effort to walk - to do all these small little tasks that were effortless when he weighed over 200 lbs less - but it feels good to walk, too. He's started waddling. Just a little. Unsteady. Heavy. His legs are thick, and his chubby thighs jiggle, sweatpants about to burst at the seams. His love handles shake and rub against his chubby arms with every plodding stride he takes, the hem of his shirt slowly coming up to expose his stretch-marked, soft fat. His belly gurgles and sloshes, dragging his back into a painful arch with all the weight it adds onto the front of his blubbery, round body. His moobs bounce, all this excessive, obscene cleavage straining against the stretched fabric of his t-shirt. Just walking makes his dick hard now.

Yeah.

He's fucked up. He's fucked up on food.

He always had a thing for food, there's no denying that, but Steve has trained him so well. He gets so hard for anything around food. Calories. Fat. All of it.

Bucky is almost always drunk with excessive fullness and gluttony, aching for more.

More.

Steve stuffs him, giving him what he wants. Moremoremoremore. Greedy fucking glutton.

Bucky already has past the point of fullness where he can keep going on his own tonight during this celebratory stuffing. He isn't walking right now. He's simply feeding. His belly is throbbing.

Full to the top.

No extra room.

Still, more food is being shoved inside him. Shoved down his throat. Added to the immense, thick fat already on his frame.

Bucky groans around the food in his mouth. His mouth floods with saliva. Good. It tastes so good. He can feel his stomach stretching. Preparing for more.

More.

There is only the need to get more. Grow more. Fatten up more. Become as massive as he can until he can't walk - until lying down is the same blissful sensory experience of walking. Rolls rubbing against rolls, stacked up, he's so big. His body has no more room for fat. So incredibly excessive.

Steve chuckles at his loud outburst, begging for more, "that's it, baby," he murmurs, his fingers gently running down his throat, coaxing him to swallow. "Take it. Get bigger for me."

Yes.

Bucky moans again.

More.

There's just a little bit left.

A little bit more.

Chewing and swallowing, desperate simply to grow, Bucky finishes the last of the feast. Bite by bite. Swallow by swallow. Exactly what Steve gives him, Bucky consumes. Encouraged not only by the lust inside him, just as heavy and oppressive as the mass of calories in his belly, but by the way Steve stares at him. His eyes are heavy. Dark. His hands are greedy, rubbing, pinching, wobbling - playing.

Playing with him.

Playing with his fat. Playing with Bucky. His fat, pet glutton. His own bloated playground of softness. Unbearably sexy for them both. Bucky is living it and breathing it, and Steve is watching it, eyes glued. He's never seen something more obscene.

Bucky moans. He burps. The pressure inside of him is immense. He feels immense. He can barely stomach it.

So. much.

Bucky wants to get up. Not to get away - he doesn't want to stop, just the opposite, this is all he wants forever - but he wants to waddle into their bedroom and get horizontal to really feel the intense fullness, to feel all the heaviness on his lungs, to feel what he's done to his body. Grown. Increased. Swelled. Fattened.

Bucky can't get up, though. It's not even that he's too full. He is too full! But. But... He can't. He can't fucking get up. He couldn't if he tried. It's too fucking hot. Hot and heavy. He's too heavy. There's too much fat in his way. Way, way too much fat. He's made himself so fat. Steve's made him so fat. He's so big. Getting bigger.

Bigger. God. Was their ever a hotter word?

Steve groans, and he squeezes Bucky's prized gut. His gut wobbles in thick, slow waves, even with how full he is. Solid. Stuffed. Bucky can't believe it. The way it feels-

Christ.

It's orgasmic.

So fat.

So thick.

So heavy.

With a long, satisfied moan, Bucky's hips try to jerk forward. He's too heavy. He can't move. Stuffed and entirely immobilized. His body moves, though. His belly. Waves. Fat. Thick.

Heavy.

Oh, God.

It's too much.

Bucky short fucking circuits, electricity shocking through him, white, hot heat that makes him come messily, grinding against the underside of his completely full, flabby belly.

Fuck!

Steve is on him before his head stops spinning, spreading his thighs WIDE to accommodate for Bucky's thick girth. He's grinding against Bucky's blubber, which is pushing all his sensitive, thick fat hard and harder against Bucky's sensitive cock. He just came! He can't come again! He can't! He can't! Oh, God. He can't even see straight. Nothing has felt so good. So indulgent and decadent.

Steve shoves the last, last bite of food messily between Bucky's gaped, moaning lips, muffling his desperate, wailing sound, and forcing Bucky to swallow breathlessly. He licks at Steve's fingers, still struggling to breathe, and that's what sets Steve off. That show of pure fucking gluttony. Nearly bursting at the seams and still mindlessly accepting more.

500

For the first time, when Bucky is officially waddling and heaving for breath every time he moves - not even when he's walking! Just when he's moving! Shifting from laying to sitting up, changing his position on the couch, crouching to dig through their always stoked pantry, whatever - Steve doesn't make enough food and doesn't order enough food for Bucky to get fully stuffed during their celebratory orgy of gluttony.

Gluttony on gluttony on gluttony 🥴🥴

All compounding into one rich, pampered, too decadent feast. It's such a feast that just getting a whiff of all the foods that are laid out for Bucky to put down would make you gain weight. POUNDS of weight. Easily.

Still, ALL of what Steve has set out is not enough.

Bucky has grown into such a pig, no, a hog, NO, such a whale that the courses, courses, and courses are food do not satisfy the greedy beast inside of Bucky's wobbling, endlessly round belly.

Steve has to order more food for Bucky when they're winding down to the last few platefuls. God. He's so fat that even when he's approaching full, then, after they get their next order of take out and Bucky's moaning about being on the cusp of bursting, he's all soft and round.

Other than the way that his skin glistens with sweat, the way that his feminine, heavy chest heaves and jiggles, and the way that he moans excessively loud, unable to shut his mouth, unable to shut up... you would never know that he's full to the brim. Packed. Stuffed. No more room. It looks like there's plenty of room in that gut. There has to be! How could anyone so sinfully fat ever be satisfied? You don't get to Bucky's impressive, lavish size without pushing yourself to the limits. Yeah, Bucky's habit of gorging himself until he's stuck on his back has never been more visible than it is now. Steve loves to see it.

Steve loves ordering Bucky more food. His dick is hard, he's already come once. Bucky has, too. They just couldn't wait. Why would they wait? They're indulging tonight. They're celebrating. They can do whatever the fuck they want.

"Steeeeve, Steve, Steve, 'm gonna fucking pop. Swear to God," Bucky slurs between bites of food, he's still fucking eating like he's ravenous, digging into his feast in the same way that a starved predator digs into a luscious, juicy fresh kill. There is no time to worry about such silly sensations as fullness. It is not every day that prey is caught and torn into. Bucky must take what he can get. He must stuff himself like a predator. Moaning, burping, groaning, gut gurgling through its excessive bounty. It drives Steve insane. "'M really gonna, gonna explode this time, oooooh," he grips his tummy, chubby hands scrambling over the roundness attached to his ballooned body. He looks like one of those people from Wall-E.

Like he's never walked on his own two feet. All fat. Round, soft, soft fat.

Steve slaps his gut, reveling, perversely, in the way that Bucky groans and how deep his hand sinks into his blubber. He really is a whale. He's not meant to walk. Yet, he's too fat to swim now. He can't go anywhere. He can't do anything but eat. Glut. Consume. Gorge. Stuff.

"Jesus Christ," Steve growls.

"Mmmmmnghh," Bucky senselessly moans. "So. Fat." He pants.

"Sooo fat," Steve agrees darkly, "you're so huge, baby."

"Wanna be," he pouts.

"You don't have to want to be. You are, fatty. You are the biggest. The fattest. I can't believe how fat you've gotten. I can hardly see your stomach bulging through all this fat!" Steve swallows his drool, "just look, Buck-!"

Bucky obediently looks down, his sweet, round face developing another chin.

Christ.

Steve could blow his load all over those chins right now, untouched. He doesn't. Instead, Steve squeezes all the soft fat that's malleable and thick despite being stretched around his throbbing belly, then he shakes it.

Bucky's fat moves. "Guh, mmm, fuck, Steve," Bucky gasps, he tries to hold his belly in place, he's so sensitive! He can't take it! It does nothing, though. Steve is shaking his whole gut. He's pressing his hands into his fat. He's trying to find his rock-solid gut under all that blubber. But it's too much! There's too much! Steve can't feel anything, so he keeps going. Bucky can do nothing because he can't even reach all of his gut. His arms aren't long enough. His stomach is so huge.

So. huge.

All of him is so huge.

Steve's plan, post endless stuffing, was to get Bucky onto his hands and knees and see how close his gut is to the floor, but... looking at him like this, feeling him like this, he knows it won't work. Bucky is too round. Bucky is too big. Bucky is too much of a whale, his gut is too round to let his hands and knees touch the ground, although...

He squeezes one last time, Bucky whimpers, "Steeeeve, 'm too full!"

Maybe all that blubber would squish out around his sides, and he'd get stuck like that. His belly and piled up, excessive fat would prevent his arms and legs from being able to move. Bucky would just kneel there, moaning, his fat wobbling while Steve fucks him, on the cusp of filling him more. Giving him just enough to really make him burst. Too much.

Maybe Steve should carry out his plans.

Maybe Steve will carry out his plans to fuck his butter ball... once he digests some.

Steve isn't strong enough to move Bucky without any imput from the food drunk, pleasure drunk glutton himself. 500. God. How did he get so big? How did he grow so large? When did his appetite become entirely bottomless? The mind willing, only the flesh weak.

Flesh.

Fatty, pale flesh stretched to the point of a hot, red stain and stripes covering him. Overindulged. Overfed. Fattened. Ballooned into an unrecognizable, excessive, burping, groaning whale from the slim, svelte, charming man. Steve doesn't hardly recognize him, though. Steve knows that this is what Bucky was always meant to be. Bucky was meant to be so massive. Luxury. Soft. He slaps the perverse surface of his domed middle again.

Bucky sobs, "fatter, fatter," he whines, "gonna get bigger!"

"Fuck yeah, you are, tubs," Steve can hardly scramble into his lap now, there is no room with his gut in the way, "you're gonna keep growing, you're gonna get bigger." He humps that irresistible, soft, but stuffed belly. "You're never gonna stop. You couldn't. You won't."

"Fatter! More! Steve! Make me fatter!" Bucky chants, agreeing desperately. He can't even twitch into Steve humping him, so he just moans recklessly. Craving. More food. More sex. More indulgence. He needs it. Neither of them can actually imagine what he will look like any bigger than he is, but they will find out. He needs to grow until the couch and the bed can't hold him. Too fat. Too heavy. Too much. Yes.

Yeah 🥵🥵

(Here's a short add on!)

[formulapookie]

41. panic attacks cele/luca :)

(lo sai che ti amo)

41. Panic attack

It's all really a mess, a tangling of bikes and limbs and gravel. He doesn't even know what went wrong, he just felt the bike completely getting out of his control and slide.

He didn't see Fabio coming, he couldn't see him, and he just crashed right into him, he felt a sharp pain in the ribs, managed to catch his bike roll over on the gravel and on Fabio's one, getting up was painful, standing on the side of the track, turning around and seeing the Yamaha rider barely managing to crawl from under the two bikes.

He immediately runs to help him, crouching down beside him and trying to understand the severity of the crash.

Two marshals followed by three or four paramedics rush towards them, he tries to talk to Fabio, understand what he's hurting, but they don't let him stay, he only sees the guy getting loaded on a stretcher and brought to the medical car, the two bikes are taken away, the others are still racing.

He reaches the garage and walks in, helmet still on and visor closed, he stares at the screen trying to understand what does Fabio have, a high pitched ring constant in his ears as he waits.

Two minutes later the notification comes through: Rider #20 Fabio Quartararo is being taken to the Hospital following his crash with rider #10 Luca Marini

The ringing stops, the world basically mutes in his ears before it starts spinning at a much higher pace than he could race at. The ringing comes back, he can't see properly, it's all just a huge mess.

He stumbles his way to his motorhome, making it inside just to lock the door and fall to the ground, fighting with himself just to take his helmet off and gain more oxygen.

The TV is playing his crash with Fabio, he can make out the two bikes flying, the two bikes crashing the other under their weight.

He sent a guy to the hospital. Oh god. Fabio was crawling, almost not moving his left leg, dragging it behind him like a dead weight.

Oh God.

If. What if he broke his leg? What if it's something really serious? What if because of him Fabio won't race anymore?

He can feel his heart clench, the pain between his ribs is almost faded in comparison to the panic that's filling up his head.

Not again not here. Vale is far, he can't help him, he's the only one that knows how to deal with him aside from Pecco.

He makes out a muffled voice, the world still unfocused, his breathing too accelerated, he sees someone coming out of his bathroom, rushing to him, trying to talk, but he can't hear anything.

Cele doesn't know what to do, should he touch him? shake him? try to get him to drink something? wrap him in a blanket?

"Luca listen I'm here ok? I'll uh fuck I don't know what to do shit"

Luca is breathing really fast now, too fast, Cele knows that, there's too much oxygen flow to his brain, even if Luca wanted to he couldn't tell him what to do, he has to make up something.

He turns off the TV, the umpteenth replay of the crash takes away from Luca's peripherical vision, closes the blinds, sets the light to a softer brightness, then goes to sit beside Luca, who's got tears running all over his face.

He tries to touch him but Luca jerks away, Cele can see the panic in his eyes, so he tries to talk to him, slowly, calmly, and getting closer every word he speaks.

"Luca it's me, Cele ok? I just want to help you, can I unzip your leathers a bit? So you breathe better?"

Luca nods, still looking like a terrified animal who got his leg locked in a trap set up in the woods.

"You need to slow down your breathing you're going into hyperventilation, can you give me your hand? I'll help you breathe slower ok?"

He nods again, not trusting his voice to function right now.

Cele counts, one in one out, slow, very slow, his head hurts so much, he can feel his brain pounding, it's terrible.

"Ok you're doing well Luca, can you get up? So you can go sit on the couch"

He shakes his head this time, his legs feel like blocks of cement, he can't move them, and he's scared he'll fall as soon as he gets on his feet.

"Ok no problem we can stay here a bit, keep breathing slowly, in and out, you can hold my hand, like this right, keep going I'm here"

They spend a good 10 minutes on the floor, Cele slowly getting closer, stroking Luca's back with his hand, holding his hand. Once Luca manages to gain back control and focus he actually realizes what happened, and he wants to disappear.

"Are you back with me amore? can I hug you?" "Yes"

Luca's voice is so flebile and trembling Cele fears he's having another attack, but luckily it's not the case, he just hugs his boyfriend while he doesn't let go, finally managing to get him up from the ground and on the couch.

"I'm sorry Cele I'm sorry you shouldn't have seen me like that I'm sorry" "No no Luca don't be sorry I'm glad I was here, if I was away no one would've helped you with this" "I - sorry I can't think about that crash I sent him to the hospital" "Luca it was an accident, it's not your fault, it just happened, and he was conscious and moving so I promise you he's gonna be ok"

Luca wants to believe Cele but it's difficult, he saw that guy crawling in pain before his eyes and he got fucking scared.

"You want a blanket? Want me to cook something?" "You don't have to do this Cele, you should go with your team to analyze your race don't waste your time on me" "Luca I'm not wasting any time, never say that again, and once again, can I cook something for you?" "I - pasta would be nice, with whatever I got in the fridge" "Sooo it's gonna be pasta with a pre-made ragu" "Ok"

Luca stays on the couch, wrapped in the blanket Cele got for him, watching his boyfriendprepare both their lunches, and all the shame he felt earlier, about crying in front of him, looking weak, comes back.

And it's like Cele has a radar for when he's feeling down because he immediately turns around and coems back to sit beside him.

"What's going on?" "I don't like crying in front of people, in front of you" "But there's nothing wrong with it" "I should be the one helping you not the other way around" "Luca help comes both ways, I'm not leaving you alone when you need me" "But you got scared and worried" "Well of course amore" "I don't want you to worry for me" "You always worry for me, and before you say anything no it's not different, I'll never leave you alone if you need me and I know you'd do the same"

Cele hugs him again, leaving soft kisses all over his face before getting up to drain the pasta and make thw two dishes, bringing them to the couch not to force Luca to move.

"Want me to put on a movie? I can put on that Netflix show we were watching" "I need to know if Fabio is ok first" "Do you want me to go out and ask?" "If you can yes, I don't like alll that noise after my attacks" "Sure"

All it takes Cele is three minutes, then he comes back, tells Luca Fabio will need surgery but will be beck in one month maximum, the bikes did something ugly to his knee, but he'll get back, as he suspected the accident was deemed as a racing one, no further actions got taken.

"I'll call him later, get the number somehow" "They're operating him now so I think this evening he'll be available" "Ok" "Now eat and let me look for the show"

Cele smiles and Luca realizes he just fell even more in love with him, a smile making it's way up to his face too, as he starts eating lunch while Cele manages to put on the show.

He's thankful he has Cele, everything seems better when he's around, it's like he brings beauty to everything, at least in Luca's eyes, and he couldn't be happier knowing he has Cele with him.

Put that guy in a SituationTM Ask Game/Prompt

[soft-bellied-tannies]

Thrill of the Gain

Read here or on AO3!

Currently working on requests so I will try to get more posted soon!

—-

It really did start as an accident. The discovery for them comes the year after graduating college and moving in together. Jimin had established a small online jewelry business in college that had only gotten more successful, allowing him to work from home on his own schedule.

With the mix of making his own schedule but also the occasional stress of running a small business plus two doting partners, Jimin shouldn't have been surprised that he gained 20 pounds. Jimin was aware of the weight from the start and he was fairly certain Yoongi and Jungkook were as well.

Truthfully, Jimin thought it made him look better than ever. He was curvier, filling out his hips and ass in a way that made him feel great. However, he also watched and felt the hesitation in both his partners. Yoongi would watch him closely as he got dressed and Jungkook would intentionally avoid putting his hands on Jimin's lower half.

Jimin knew their relationship could withstand a confrontation so he did just that, asking them if they were judging him or uncomfortable with his recent weight gain. Yoongi's regret was immediately evident on his face and Jungkook looked ready to cry.

They came clean, admitted to Jimin that they'd been discussing a recent discovery and were, honestly, obsessed with Jimin's body even more now. It was only getting awkward now because they were attempting to figure out how to bring it up without being assholes pointing out Jimin's weight.

With it out in the open, they all felt this new wave of excitement. Yoongi and Jungkook encouraged him to eat more and were much more appreciative with their words and touch. Jimin let them feed him sometimes and found himself pushing the limit of his stomach if either of them were convincing enough.

Less than six months later, Jimin had gone from accidentally gaining 20 pounds to intentionally gaining enough that the scale now showed him 50 pounds more than his starting weight. As sad as it was to admit, the excitement was going down as the number was going up.

Jimin admittedly wasn't feeling great. His back was hurting quite a bit lately especially when he sat over his desk making orders. He was doing a lot of the eating on his own at home, mostly snacks that weren't actually filling him with energy the way a meal would.

While not wanting to throw in the towel on their gaining interests, Jimin decided to ask his partners for help. Neither Yoongi nor Jungkook ever wanted him to feel uncomfortable physically or mentally so they helped him lose the weight.

Over the next year, Jimin dropped enough that he was even smaller now than he was when it all started. Yoongi and Jungkook were nothing but supportive and loving, but Jimin could see the shift in all of them. Something was missing.

Jimin missed his little belly that hung over his waistband and how much he used to fill out his pants. He missed how Yoongi and Jungkook looked at him and touched him. More than anything, Jimin realized he missed the build-up.

That recognition of his own accidental gain last time was surprisingly easy and enticing for him. The way all three were aware of Jimin's changing weight without talking about it created an energy in the apartment that felt thrilling. He wanted it back.

Part of him knew he should have talked to them about it, but Jimin decided to test the waters yet again. Thinking back to what led to that initial gain before, he reset his habits.

Jimin allowed himself to snack intuitively while working and prioritized taking breaks for his meals. He ordered delivery to the house for lunch when he craved something and started drinking soda again. Going for runs and taking Pilates returned to his old routine of a morning walk and simple sunrise yoga.

The change this time around was Yoongi and Jungkook stepping in as soon as they noticed changes. Jimin could tell he was getting a little soft again, but he didn't even make it to 10 pounds before they confronted him. They didn't want him to feel pressured or hit a breaking point as he did last time.

Jimin promised it was his own choice, one made out of longing. He missed the changes to his body and the looks they used to give him. He craved both the dynamic and food he enjoyed instead of clean eating.

His only ask was for them to go slower this time around, maybe a gradual change would let his body adjust as he gained. Maybe he could grow into his little belly comfortably this time so the desire to stop and restart would come so quickly.

As they are always on the same page, Jimin shouldn’t have been surprised when Yoongi and Jungkook felt the same.

That was when Jimin realized that all three may have more specific interests than they originally thought. Doing some research on his own led Jimin to the answers he wanted. Jungkook and Yoongi were clearly into the build-up and realization of his gain, loving the discovery as much as the gain.

Jimin found that he really loved the obliviousness, as uncomfortable as it started. He liked the element of ignorance his partners believed he held, catching them looking a little too long as if they thought he was unaware of his gain.

They clearly love the discovery and development even if it is different ways. That first 20 pounds or so going unspoken yet definitely recognized and observed did so much for them. Jimin would also admit that the shift from unintentional and unknown to realization but ignored to confronted and excited was amazing.

Suddenly having his partners all over him and feeding, putting on weight for a period of time but not as fast, was another level of satisfaction for Jimin. He knew they would respect him reaching a certain point where that uncomfortable shift may begin to set in.

Maybe they would start over again, maybe Jimin would drop a little weight before starting again, maybe he would eventually stop the losing part altogether.

Jimin craved his partners’ teasing during that time and how easily they could influence him. The way Yoongi could talk him through a massive meal while Jungkook gave the best belly rubs. How much they loved knowing Jimin’s weight and rewarded his gain.

The pattern of gaining made it easy to put that initial gain back on. Jimin felt like his body was made for it. He loved the soft skin of his belly whether he dropped weight or his stomach was filled to capacity. Feeling certain clothing get tighter made him aware of his body changes in the best way.

However, Jimin could see how Yoongi and Jungkook got their satisfaction in other ways. They enjoyed the shy glances shared with each other or the silent conversations they could convey when Jimin’s gain was noticeable. They could see the shirts getting clingier and the waistbands growing tighter. They watched him start reaching for a second serving of dinner then eventually three servings and a dessert becoming his normal fill.

After the second round of this happening, Jimin realized they had created a long-term roleplay. That discovery phase did so much for all three of them that acting and planning became a normal part of it to recreate that initial feeling. Those moments of awkward touches and avoidant looks, the shy and hesitant answers that once created anxiety for Jimin now brought him a rush of satisfaction.

They pushed Jimin to gain more before they had the ‘conversation’ and established a ‘new’ dynamic, but the benefit this time around was the experience from before. Yoongi knew the best ways to feed Jimin and encourage him, Jungkook knew all the right spots to provide Jimin relief and pleasure, and Jimin’s body was more adjusted for the gain.

It was only natural that the gain was higher with more experience. Jimin hadn’t even realized he had gained farther than his intended goal when he finally weighed himself. He didn’t track or obsess over the numbers during his gaining phases, purely letting the gain take its course until he reached the feeling of his limit rather than a number. Jimin admitted to Yoongi and Jungkook that although he was surprised that the number was higher this time around, he also loved seeing it.

Jimin followed the same course as last time, losing weight with his partners’ support in a healthy way. Although, it was not nearly as much as last time.

He found in some ways it was easier but also harder. Now that the agreement was in the open, he often thought about getting to the restarting point quicker, but Jimin also wanted to ensure that he did the right thing for his body and mind.

He had placed gaining limits on each phase, communicating throughout their periods of long-term roleplay and everyone upheld those limits. However, those limits slowly began to increase while Jimin’s starting weight went up in tandem. He was actually gaining slowly but surely overall even if he didn’t see it right away.

When Jimin gained 65 pounds during the first attempt at their roleplay, he only lost 45 pounds before starting again after assuring Yoongi and Jungkook that he was perfectly happy “keeping” those twenty pounds. That he felt right with his wider, curvy hips now.

Over the next five years of them wholeheartedly enjoying this back-and-forth, even if Jimin wasn’t doing as much of the back part as often as he did in the beginning. They learned new interests along the way, tried out various tips and tricks, and overall, strengthened their relationship.

To the surprise of no one, the limit crept up and up each time. While it seemed as if he were truly gaining and losing over time rather than gaining weight permanently, Jimin certainly had developed a considerably softer and curvier “baseline” body.

Jimin’s first starting weight was a low and toned 140 that used to be his normal, but it had probably been more than a year since Jimin saw below 200 even after a “losing weight” phase.

Yoongi and Jungkook encouraged bigger goals every time, especially after seeing how incredible Jimin looked and felt when he gained at his desired pace. When they first talked about limits, Jimin had felt fairly confident that 200 was going to be a consistent limit for him, yet here he was with 200 being his new low.

They were shocked to hear Jimin up the number every time, loving the way his confidence and excitement in the gain increased as well. As they approached this next “active gaining” phase as Yoongi had started calling it, Jimin let them know he was making a big decision.

No more phases. No more limits. Jimin was just going to let things happen as they happened and if gaining more weight was a part of that, so be it.

Jimin felt like they had truly fulfilled every part of the role playing dynamic over these past few years. He was ready to stop the back and forth, to let them just love his body as it was and likely the bigger body it would become going forward.

Yoongi and Jungkook could not contain how proud they were. It was a shift in their relationship and dynamic that they were ready to make. The long lasting role play of the past five years had been amazing, but seeing Jimin grow into himself and accepting his body was even better.

And they both knew Jimin better than anyone. He kept referring to future gaining as if it were uncertain, but five years worth of habits don’t go away over night.

200 may had become Jimin’s new normal with all his gaining and losing. However, it was a normal that had drastically changed from his once toned 140. Given the fact that Jimin was now tipping the scale around 270 just one year later and Yoongi and Jungkook were watching him work on dessert number two after dinner, that normal would certainly change again.

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Anything scruffy!vere. i miss them

"I hate this."

"Pockets you look fine," Jason said, tugging the strings on your sweater.

"I look huge-"

"No," he said, "You don't. You look healthy and just a little... fuller figured." He supposed it shouldn't be a shock. Getting you on medication meant side effects. And now you cycled between having no appetite and starving. That combined you being an adult and not a kid anymore meant you'd gained weight. It also didn't surprise him that you had issues with it. You were used to being smaller. But if he was being honest, you looked healthier this way.

"Plans are canceled I'm fat-"

"No," Jason said firmly, "You're just a little plump. And it's nice." He hugged you against his chest and kissed your head. "I can bench press the sofa. 20 or 30 pounds doesn't mean much."

You whine and he kissed your forehead tilting your chin up, "Honestly," he said crossing his heart. "You look fine. But if you think working out would help you, you know I love me an Amazon-"

"Jay."

"Just saying. I don't give a fuck what you look like as long as you're healthy and happy. This makes you unhappy, and even if I don't mind- you do and it makes me unhappy. Because you're beautiful."

You sigh and nod, thudding your head against his chest.

"Let's just go see the family, huh? Bring your guitar and we'll just go chill out."

_____________

"That sweater is so fucking cute," Stephanie said, "I love it where did you get it?"

"A thrift store I think," you answer, picking a fuzz off your sleeve. "Manic me just likes shopping."

"And sick guitar riffs," Duke said grinning, dropping onto the couch next to you.

"That one wasn't mine though," you tell him, taking a sip from your mug and letting Steph pull you against her side so she could examine your sweater. She liked to cuddle people who looked warm.

"Who wrote it then?" he asked, interested.

"Her mom," Jason answered. "The one thing Nissa was good at was music."

"Oh- I-"

"It's okay. I've been retooling a lot of her stuff. Especially the stuff she never got to use really."

"That's cool," Duke said, not sure what else to say. He knew parents were never a good subject in this house.

"I brought my guitar-"

"Did I hear Guitar?" Dick said, strolling in "Because if you wanna play me some Fleetwood Mac I'd marry you like tomorrow-"

"Hey!" Jason protested, reaching behind him to grab the hard case there he'd set it. Smiling a little at the stickers as he set it down in front of you. He knew that guitar as well as he knew Scruffy. And he couldn't count the number of times you'd both set on the steps in the train station, trying to make enough money to get a good meal.

"Yeah!" you echo, holding out your hand to show him the engagement ring.

"Papers ain't signed," Dick said teasing, dodging the pillow Jason threw at him.

[notskinnyenoughforestnymph]

Looking for a friend to restrict with <3

Unnecessary Story time!

So, I used to be small a couple years ago... actually no it was like last ish year. December of 2023 I dropped so much because my eldest sister was getting married. I'm 5'8 and was around 125-130 pounds at the time. After that I started college and I thought "oh... maybe I recovered... I stopped sh-ing and everything. I broke up with my toxic ex and met this super nice amazing guy. I love him a lot if you can tell. But he has a thing for chubby girls.. so he fed me all the food I never got to eat and made me feel loved regardless... so obviously I gained a bit...not just a bit... I was around 160 when I first started my journey and I dropped to 125 in around a month and a half... and I kept it off for like I want to say 4-5 years. A month ago, I met an old friend from when I first lost weight and I reminded me of how I felt back then... I felt hot. Now... I feel loved but not hot. After that I couldn't stop feeling like a cow, I realized that all the clothes I loved didn't fit anymore and that I wasn't small anymore. I weighed myself and the scale flew to 177.

Something in me snapped, I didn't know what to do I felt like shit but I couldn't not eat. Me and my boyfriend live together and he's like a huge gym/fitness freak. He goes to lift like everyday for 3 hours and I join him. I started eating less and working out more... he didn't seem to mind at first but then he started asking questions.

But before I could find answers for them, I was saved. It is summer break and his parents asked him to come back home ( he's an international student). I also came back home to my parents. But when I got home it wasn't a great greeting. My parents immediately let me know that I got fat. "You were so skinny before when u went to college what happened? Don't people lose weight when they go to college? Your pants look so tight."

That was all the motivation I needed. I have been on and off fasts and if I do eat its only around 500cal a day. I work out as much as I can.

This morning my weight was 163. I glad I dropped but not happy yet. I hope I can get through this. It's a bit hard since my boyfriend calls and wants to eat with me... I told him I feel ugly and I want to diet. He wasn't happy at first he didn't want me to get too skinny but he came around and is a bit supportive now. He doesn't know I'm fasting tho.

I have a internship that needs me to use the computer a lot and it's been giving me a headache. Especially with the fast. Last time I did this it was like 6 years ago. Im a bit older now, I don't know if its gonna work the same but I'm trying.

I love watching those tw ed videos on youtube they really help get me through my thoughts.

Thanks for going through that if you did. I want to document my journey this time. Cuz last time... i was all alone and meanspo hit hard. ( I was bullied a lot for being chubby when I was little till like highschool ).

Meanspo isn't hitting this time other than the fact that I hate myself lol.

if there are any older ppl (20 - 24) here I'd love to find a friend to restrict with.

Looking forward to being hot again<3

[jasgirl-creations]

How about a smartified Transgirl uses her galaxy brain to become the perfect Bloated Breeding Sow Gamer GF for her man.

This involves getting hella fucking fat, being constantly pregnant whenever possible and birthing litter after litter of her man's babies (possibly out of her fat drooling transgirl cock), and staying in bed or on the couch stuffing her fat face and playing video games. (Also fucking her Man whenever he wants it, using by letting him use her fat drooling transgirl cock as a pocket pussy while she keeps eating and/or gaming)

A perfect GPA. First in my class. A dozen scholarship opportunities to the best schools. My teachers said I was a genius and could go to any school I liked, but I didn't want any of it. As soon as I graduated from high school I announced I was transitioning and moving in with my boyfriend. The first part didn't really surprise anyone. I had been telling everyone I was a trans girl for at least a year and planning my transition the whole time. Everyone knew that once I graduated I was starting my life as a girl. The second part surprised pretty much everyone who expected me to go to one of the very the best universities. Especially my boyfriend, who had a tiny studio apartment. He was even more surprised when I told him I didn't plan to get a job. "Well what are you going to do? Sit on your ass and game all day?" I nodded. Gaming was pretty much all I cared about and all I wanted to do. Well, gaming and sex. I loved masturbating and loved getting fucked by my boyfriend even more. We both had some very specific fetishes and my plan was to use my genius so we could live out our ultimate sexual fantasy. The first step was drugs. The medications my doctor had assigned for my transition were already having effects on my body, but of course they were slow. I was a greedy bitch and didn't want to wait. I tore myself away from gaming to research drugs, and using fake credentials I worked online with specialists from around the world to quickly developed an experimental drug treatment that would hyperboost my transition. The pills were printed in a South American lab and shipped directly to my boyfriend's apartment. Within just a few months I was unrecognizable. My body had transformed from an awkward teen boy to a sexy woman with long smooth legs, wide hips, silky hair (that I kept in pigtails so it wouldn't interfere in my gaming) and fat breasts. My boyfriend was astounded, but I was even happier. I finally had the body I wanted. At least for the first phase of my plan. 6 months after graduating I started step 2 of my transition. More drugs, this time a hyper weight gain formula and appetite stimulant. My boyfriend and I had first bonded in high school over our love of fat chicks, and now I was going to be one! The drug gave me an insatiable appetite. I could eat for hours at a time. Since all I did was lay around our tiny apartment playing games, eating and fucking the pounds quickly piled on. Over the next 6 months I got very fat, and my plan was to keep gaining while I worked on step 3.

Step 3 was a two part plan. I put every bit of my genius into developing a drug that would allow me to become pregnant. My boyfriend was desperate to knock me up and I wanted to be his fat breeding sow! After a year of development my drug was ready to test. It would allow me to give birth, passing the baby through my cock, which required a substantial size increase in my genitals! Fortunately I had been working with a separate research team to develop a cock growth drug, and the tests had been spectacular. My dick had swelled to nearly three feet long and over a foot in girth. It was a drooling stinking log of trans girl fuck meat, constantly erect. I spent most of the time I wasn't eating with my cock head lodged in my mouth, sucking myself to orgasm over and over as I gamed. I was pregnant by the time I was 20, and again before I was 21. By that time I was morbidly obese, my fat ass fully filling the couch that took up nearly half of our studio apartment. I loved it! Now that my research was done I spent all my time gaming, and when I didn't have my cock in my mouth I was sucking on a feeding tube, constantly swallowing a mixture of gainer shake and aphrodisiac that kept e horny and constantly gaining. My plan was to me immobile within the year. My boyfriend kept me pregnant and used my mouth, ass and cock several times a day. He didn't mind working and taking care of the babies as long as he could keep knocking up his perfect bloated breeding sow trans girl gamer girlfriend!

[channiebelly]

Hot and Cold

tropes: light humilitation, praise

ship: ot13

wordcount: 1.5k

@carattummies wrote a fic the other day based on a conversation we had so i decided to write one based on our conversation too! you can read her one here

Chan has been gaining weight and really liking it. He thinks his friends are liking it too, until their teasing becomes too much for him and Chan decides to go on a diet.

Chan has been gaining weight. He didn't notice it at first, until he woke up one day and there was a little pot belly spilling over the waistband of his underwear. Stepping on the scale revealed he had gained 10 pounds.

His first reaction is to panic. Gaining weight without noticing is not something he wants. After, he starts to think about it more, and he decides he doesn't mind. His belly is cute and it's nice to squish and play with. He's also been enjoying eating more than usual than lately, and he wants to continue that. He likes food! So, he decides to just let it happen. If he gains weight, then he gains weight.

It's very easy, he learns. Now that he has fully given himself permission to just eat whatever he wants whenever he wants, the pounds start to pile on quickly. Over the next months, he's reaching 20 and then 30 pounds gained. His belly starts to push against his shirts and becomes impossible to suck in. His thighs start to thicken and push against each other and his butt starts to round out, and jiggles as he walks.

Chan loves it, so much more than he thought he would. He finds himself standing in front of his mirror shaking his belly or twisting around to see his growing ass. He strokes his belly absentmindedly all the time. Rather than being annoyed by having to buy new clothes, he likes it. He loves his new body. It's cute and sexy and he loves its softness.

His friends notice. Of course they do. Chan isn't trying to hide it. At first it's just little fingers in his squishy belly and gentle pats when he walks into the room, with comments about how he's filling out. These just make Chan blush. He doesn't mind them at all. Then they notice his growing butt and begin slapping and squeezing it whenever he walks past. Chan likes this too. It makes him feel sexy. There's light hearted teasing about him growing out of his clothes and the way he has to sit with his legs further apart because of the increasing size of his thighs. Still, he loves his body and he loves eating. If anything, the comments just encourage him more.

As Chan reaches 40 pounds gained and could be considered properly fat with steadily developing moobs, love handles that threaten to escape his waistband, and a belly that is becoming harder and harder to manouveur around, the teasing changes. The pokes and pats turn into them grabbing his belly and shaking it. "You're so jiggly," Jeonghan will say, and he makes Chan stand there and makes everyone watch the way Chan's entire belly shakes just from a single pat. When Chan grabs a second helping of dinner, Joshua calls him a big boy and laughs about how of course he would be eating more. When Chan has to rock himself slightly to gather momentum to stand up, Mingyu and Wonwoo laugh about how he's got to be careful or he'll get too fat to stand up at all.

There's more than that. One day Chan shirt rides up and leaves a strip of his belly on display and Seokmin tells him he's outgrowing his clothes just from sitting down. One night he accidentally spills a bit of sauce on his shirt and Minghao calls him a slob, even though Chan is generally a very tidy eater. It just keeps going and going. They get more and more comfortable with laughing about Chan's growing frame.

At first, it doesn't get to him. Chan continues to admire his growing belly, and enjoys exploring the incredible sensitivity of the moobs that he's growing. His belly is almost sitting on his lap now, and he's excited to know what it feels like when it finally happens.

But then it does start to get to him. He starts to think that maybe he's the only one who likes his growing body, and the others are right: it is gross. He starts to think maybe he is a bit of a slob and that he shouldn't just eat whatever and whenever. He's getting bigger than he ever thought he would, maybe he should just stop and lose the weight now before it gets too difficult. This is getting a bit out of hand.

Chan decides to go on a diet. He throws out all of his favourite snacks and buys only healthy foods from the grocery store. He bans himself from all of his favourite fast food places and restaurants. He even joins a gym, one that he knows none of his friends go to so they won't see him huffing and puffing as he attempts to use the treadmill.

He thinks no one notices that he's only taking one helping at dinner and refusing dessert. He starts refusing lunch meetups with his friends, preferring to eat his meal prepped salads. He skips games nights to go to the gym.

It only takes two weeks for Seungkwan to corner him one day and ask him what's up.

"You've stopped taking seconds at dinner," Seungkwan says. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I've just decided to go on a diet."

"Why?"

"I'm getting a little big, don't you think?" Chan places a hand on his belly. He's going to miss feeling it's comfortable squishiness beneath his fingers.

"But you always looked so happy when you were eating. And you seemed like you liked your belly. You would always smile when people brought it up. You looked proud of it."

Chan didn't realise that anyone had noticed how much he liked it. "I did like it. It's just that I think I'm getting too big now. That's what everyone else seems to think, at least."

"What?"

Chan shrugs. "Everyone's been making fun of me. I started to think that I should just get the message."

"It was just teasing. Was it really bothering you that much?"

"Kinda. I appreciate it, though. Sometimes you need your friends to keep you on track."

Seungkwan looks angry. "Don't go on a diet Chan. You look cute and happy like this. I'll deal with the others."

Chan listens. He doesn't know why, but he listens. He gives up on he gym and heads to KFC or Wendy's whenever he feels like it. He immediately feels better. Dieting really isn't for him.

Seungkwan must've had very strong words with their friends because the next time he sees them there's no belly shaking or calls of "the big boy is here" when he walks in the door. Instead, Seungcheol greets him with a hug and says "you look very cute today." He pats Chan's belly in the way that he used to when Chan was first gaining weight, and says "I hope you enjoy dinner tonight."

When they sit down for the meal, Jun, who's sitting beside Chan keeps refilling his plate. "You look like you're really enjoying the food. I want you to eat lots of it."

"Yeah," Soonyoung says from across the table. "You look cute when you eat."

The dinner is really good and Chan eats until his belly is full and aching. No one says a mean word about it.

After, some of their friends go to play ping pong and some of them watch a movie. Chan joins the movie watchers on the couch. Jihoon is sitting next to him, and doesn't mention that he has to shuffle over to allow for the spread of Chan's legs. Instead, he just offers to give him a belly rub instead. Chan agrees and Jihoon puts his hands under Chan's shirt. "For the most relaxation possible," Jihoon explains. Chan almost falls asleep to the calm feeling of Jihoon's gentle hands easing the pressure in his gut. "Your skin is so soft," Jihoon says as they're leaving to go home.

Chan goes home feeling like he's on cloud nine. He feels cute and comfortable and he falls asleep with his arms craddling his belly lovingly.

Their compliments don't stop. "That hoodie looks great on you," "Your cheeks looks really cute today," "Your butt looks amazing in those pants," "Your belly is so nice to touch." Slowly but surely Chan gives up on any ideas of going on a diet and his weight continues to go up. On the day that Chan hits 50 pounds gained, he's surrounded by his friends, full from a large helping of dessert, Vernon's head resting on his thigh because apparently he's the best pillow ever and Jeonghan's hands slowly kneading into his side.

"You look happy these days," Seungkwan says that evening.

Chan grins at him. "I am."

[doughyduo]

mmfmfnnnngngnnn

there are 100% more things that i find really hot but these were the first things i could think of

ill make an addendum later when i have enough-

simple, but, weigh ins and numbers and heights…and girls who step on a scale, let it run for a second, and then it just gives out and crunches underneath them, especially truck scales or industrial scales

girls eating from troughs, not using their hands and just eating, and eating, and eating…

this list, because it gives a sense of scale that 5 tons isn’t as much as you probably thought it was, and millions of pounds isn’t a lot really-

blobby cheeks and neck rolls that just pile up mfmfmgmgmhmgmmmnhngnnnnn hoooly shit…ive commissioned like 20 from cvet and have more on the way it’s probably a waste of money since they’re all so similar but it’s so hot-

health issues, sometimes, can be hot. i have a draft somewhere about feeding a girl through a heart attack-

fat speech…belches sprinkled in…

hypnotizing a fifty plus foot tall girl, having her lean over, her big eyes swirling as she puts her chin on the ground and waits for you to tell her to do something

hypnosis in general can be pretty good, but it tends to be because of weight gain and appetites and fat that i like it more

hyperfats in general. a ten ton girl moving is really cute-

girl who’s barely mobile managing to run for a small amount of time because she’s excited to see you, sending you through a brick wall because she’s got so much momentum

girl so heavy she makes the ground shake / cracks it with each and every step she takes

girls who belch so loud buildings shake / the area around them shake

girl so greedy and gluttonous she needs more than just food and she just starts taking bites out of plates, chairs, tables, vending machines, buildings-

fat dragon/whale tails…dragons like kimiko and sulevia, whales like shylily and bao, generally, but some others are good. not cat tails or dog tails or fox tails, that’s weird to me in a fetish sense

girls rolling from on their gut to their back, shaking everything with the impact, their huge belly rising super high up, touching the ceiling, sloshing back and forth after

girls who breathe heavily at and get horny over food itself

blobs managing to heave their weight up to slam themselves into the ground, even at ridiculous sizes…i commissioned a blob with heart eyes and then the thoughts of her managing to like. hump or thrust for sex or whatever came to mind and this is so bad im sorry it’s weird

basic, but, big, huge, doughy arms way bigger than pillows

giantess fat girl just leaning back on a shore and draining oceans as she keeps getting bigger (it makes less sense the more i think on it but shhh, laying under waterfalls also works)

flat, flabby chests that look like they’ve barely gained any weight to a girl’s actual tits despite her weighing thousands of pounds

girls drinking lard or frier oil, downing butter like it’s nothing

[turtle-toe]

My experience with and opinion on fat acceptance

I am currently 16 years old and 5'6, 169 pounds. I need to tell my story.

I've been fat or chubbier my entire life due to poor eating habits taught to me early on. "Oh, you want thirds on that giant plate of yours? Sure, go right ahead." But I never really noticed until about 5th grade and really got self conscious in 6th grade. But, I was healthy. I'd say I was around 5'3 and 155-160 pounds. I moved around a lot, I was running with no thought about breath control every day at recess. But I still sucked in my guy and wore giant shirts so no one could see the shape of my body. Then, Covid hit.

I gained what i thought was so much weight during lockdown, as everyone else did too, as well as my oh so quirky mental illnesses. I was at 168 and it made me feel horrible. But not in the health way but the outer appearance way. Then I discovered fat acceptance.

I went from sucking in my gut to being sucked into a harmful mindset that I cannot change but that's okay.

Now, I have to give the movement credit where it's due; it both positively and negatively affected me. The negative part was that i gained about 20 pounds. I got to 180. The positive was that I gained confidence that I desperately needed. I started to not care as much about what I thought people would think, I started to wear more form fitting clothes, I started to even wear two piece swimsuits. But that 20 pounds felt absolutely horrible. And after about two years in the fat acceptance movement, I finally got out of it.

I finally stopped blaming everyone else, either for not being "fat positive" or for being the ones who made me fat. I finally stopped thinking the "naturally" skinny girls were my worst enemy. I finally stopped blaming my genetics. I finally realized just how much I was grossly overeating. I finally saw just how bad I was and how the path I was taking would've lead me to major health problems and an unhappy life filled with resentment and bitterness.

So I took that confidence given to me by the movement and I used it to better myself. After many ups and downs, I managed to get down to 162. I've gained 7 pounds back but I'm trying my best to be consistent. And this health journey started because I wanted to be healthier and just feel better, mostly because I wanted to justify it because I thought that it was wrong of me to want to lose weight to look a certain way. But honestly, fuck that. I don't care if it's fat phobic of me to want my own body to be smaller. So, health is a priority for me but I will be damned if I don't start looking the way I want.

And I tagged this with so many of these fat acceptance tags because I know for damn sure that I would've needed this post three years ago. To hear how it affected someone close to my age. So to anyone who is feeling like shit because you feel as though you can't lose weight or you don't feel as pretty as others; you can do this. You're absolutely gorgeous and handsome and pretty and interesting no matter how you look. But please, please, please don't take to the fat acceptance movement as a way go block out and ignore your insecurities. It doesn't work, it will only get worse. I lost those 17 pounds just by eating a few more vegetables and very inconsistent exercise. I realize everyone is different but it's way easier than you think it is.

Please, y'all, take care of yourselves.

[whentherewerebicycles]

processing some weight gain stuff under the cut

okay. in 18 weeks of pregnancy I have gained 15 pounds, which according to the guidelines I was given is a LOT more than I’m supposed to have gained at this stage. based on my starting weight I am only supposed to gain 15-25 lbs total across the entire pregnancy, which idk people seem to be mixed on whether that’s actually realistic but that is what the doctor says. in the last two weeks I went up 4 lbs, and that was with a terrible cold that totally killed my appetite and made it very easy to not indulge in holiday food (I couldn’t taste anything). I am exercising a little less (30-45 min daily walks instead of 45-75) but not like, SO much less yknow? and I have also been tracking my caloric intake on an app to make sure I’m not going over (although I think my real motivation there is if a doctor gives me a hard time about weight gain I’m going to be like yeah well here’s 15+ weeks of data on my eating habits so you tell ME what’s going on).

the point is that based on a calories in calories out model I shouldn’t be gaining this much weight this fast but I am. that’s just what seems to be happening! so I think I just have to LET GO and accept that my body is going to do whatever it thinks is best to support the pregnancy. I can still make good choices but I need to decouple the choices from the outcomes. or like, I need to accept that my good choices will produce good outcomes (I’ll be eating nourishing food and moving my body regularly!) but those outcomes will probably not include weight loss or a slowing of weight gain. here is what I will continue doing:

meal plan every week—I might want to start thinking about meal planning snacks too esp as I am feeling hungrier during the day

eat lots of fruits and vegetables every day

eat very limited amounts of processed foods and watch out for added sugars

walk briskly for 30-45 min a day

go to this hourlong weights class at least 2x a week (ideally 3x) and tack on 20-25 min of cardio on the bike after

I could also try going to the gym more often to do low-impact cardio—like trying to work in a couple days a week where I do 45 min on the elliptical while watching an episode of TV. I do find that in the past doing a lot of that mindless low effort activity seems to help with weight maintenance and is pretty easy to sustain because I’m just like, as long as I’m moving it counts! I don’t have to be pushing myself super hard! this is probably most doable for me on the weekends (and if I’m at the gym already it increases the chances that I might decide to run too).

ok so here’s a rough plan:

sat & sun: walk dogs (30-45 min x 2) + try to do 30 min x 2 of extra cardio while watching TV at the gym (or when liz is feeling better I can see if she wants to go together or do pregnancy workout videos)

mon & tues: weights class one of those days depending on work schedule + 20 min extra cardio one day + 30-45 min walk both days

wed: 30-45 min walk

thurs: this is my busy/long day with work stuff and rehearsal, but I can usually squeeze in a 20 min dog walk and could try parking far away and walking into work on days when it isn’t raining to get another 20+ min in

fri: weights class + 30-45 min walk

and I gotta remember I can make the walks less boring by 1) driving to a random neighborhood and walking from there and 2) talking to friends on the phone instead of just listening to stuff.

OKAY. the takeaway is: I DO NOT NEED TO FEEL GUILT OR SHAME ABOUT THE FACT THAT I AM PUTTING ON A LOT OF WEIGHT. I AM FOUR AND A HALF MONTHS PREGNANT! THIS IS LITERALLY WHAT MY BODY IS SUPPOSED TO BE DOING! I ALSO REFUSE TO LET DOCTORS OR THE INTERNET MAKE ME FEEL GUILTY ABOUT MY WEIGHT, BECAUSE I KNOW I AM MAKING HEALTHY CHOICES THAT ARE GOOD FOR MY BODY, MY BABY, AND MY MENTAL HEALTH. I ALSO WANT TO GENTLY DECOUPLE GOOD/HEALTHY CHOICES FROM SPECIFIC OUTCOMES. EATING WELL AND STAYING ACTIVE THROUGH MY PREGNANCY MAY NOT KEEP ME FROM GAINING “EXCESS” WEIGHT. BUT IT WILL MAKE ME FEEL BETTER IN MY BODY/SELF. IT WILL ENSURE THAT MY BABY IS GETTING LOTS OF GOOD NUTRIENTS. IT WILL HELP ME SLEEP BETTER AND FOCUS MORE AT WORK. IT WILL HOPEFULLY MAKE LABOR AND RECOVERY A LITTLE BIT EASIER TOO! I AM DOING ALL THE RIGHT THINGS AND IT IS OKAY THAT MY BODY IS NOT CONFORMING TO THE PRESCRIBED NORM. I TRUST MY BODY AND ASSUME IT HAS ITS REASONS!!!!!!!!!!!

[unsafe-chikku]

My relationship with food was always about guilt until fairly recently. I never had the drive to not eat the big carbs and sugars bc I perceived it all as all or nothing. I was a slob and doomed to be ugly and fat.

One of the main reasons (and I’m not joking) was seeing this commercial at the formative age of 13:

And another one I can’t remember that literally showed people with gigantic bits of “unhealthy”food in key places (thighs, belly, butt) and the tag “you are what you eat” .

One of the many driving keys to my extreme depression in my 20s was also extreme self hatred.

I was on a medication for hallucinations that came about from this extreme depression, and unknown to me, it was making me gain weight at a rapid pace even more than my normal antidepressants. ( I was switched off of it years later).

I had no idea it was the meds making me gain weight. So I assumed I was just such a peice of ugly shit that I couldn’t even have self discipline to not eat like a pig.

It didn’t help that my dad always had a quip about not ending up “ten pounds of potatoes in a five pound sack” and his mean comments about overweight people said to us as quiet jokes in public places. My mom was kinder but always tried to help me not gain weight with unsolicited advice.

It was probably way worse for my older sister who was deemed overweight from age 12 onward. (Turned out to be pcos. She even had aunts of ours telling her to stop eating all carbs and shit as a teenager. )

I went through a lot of diets from my teens onward., and only ended up hating myself more.

It was through realizing I was trans and through that accepting and learning to love my self and my body at any size and shape that I started to figure out how to live in a healthier way without getting angry when I “failed”. This was a very very slow process.

Actual info about how to actually be healthy becoming more mainstream than before especially online also helped.

Then I got a new psych who fixed my meds and I lost 20 pounds instantly.

And now that I have more motivation to move and eat better than ever before, there is a side affect of losing weight that I am watching with surprise and a strange sense of neutrality.

Like, If I lose weight bc of a healthier lifestyle, thats ok, it’s that’s not the goal, that’s just part of it for me for as long as it lasts. bc that weight wasn’t my natural size in a healthier lifestyle, if that makes sense?

So overall it ended ok but I wish I could go back and tell little and newly young adult me that they aren’t ugly failures for wanting to eat carbs.

[stanweirdosalliance]

Jason Schwartzman on how he gained 50 pounds for Marie Antoinette

IGN: How did you gain weight when you're a vegetarian? Schwartzman: Well, you can't just eat hot dogs. You just eat everything you eat, but just much more. No cheese. I don't eat dairy or eggs or anything either.

IGN: Are you Vegan? Schwartzman: Basically, yeah. But, you can do it. I did it organically too. I tried not to eat any type of chemical -- just Uncle Eddie's Cookies. You can tell when you are eating something that's not going to help you stay thin. You know. When you are eating a thing made of flour full of chocolate chips, you know that, if you eat 15 to 20 of those a night, something's going to happen. So, an average day of eating, I would wake up and eat oatmeal and lots of pancakes and waffles with lots of syrup and then I'd have snacks. Every snack was a full meal. And dinner would be my biggest meal, which you're not supposed to have because it's close to bedtime. At around like 5:30 p.m. or 6:00 p.m., I would get Barbara's Fig Newtons -- organic fig newtons -- and I would eat 30 or 40 cookies a night and a jar of almond butter and put a scoop of almond butter on each cookie and drink a beer and watch a DVD. Then I'd go to dinner. So I would eat the whole box of cookies, the jar of almond butter and go to dinner which would be a calzone with soy cheese and a pizza and spaghetti and dessert there, and my own bread basket and wine. You get to a point where you don't feel sick eating that much food. Your stomach does stretch out. It was bizarre how much I could eat.