#I could probably explain that better but I truly don't have the energy

[ejacutastic]

so fucking frustrating when some shit ass coping mechanism you've developed is a direct contributor for your continued misery. like what the fuck is this...

[hungryforpowernotfood]

Making A Deal (Part 1)

Summary: House doesn't take the news of you wanting to quit your job at the hospital well, and he definitely doesn't take it well when you decide not to tell him why you're leaving.

You don't think it's any of his business, he thinks it is—the argument leads to you making a deal.

Warning(s): use of y/n & l/n (your name & last name), closeted reader, reader presenting as female throughout the fic & being referred to as a woman, House being House & making some comments that may come off as transphobic

Pairing(s): Greg House x ftm! Reader

Something felt off when you were growing up—you don’t remember exactly when you became aware of it. Over time, the feeling grew and grew, but you ignored it, and pushed it away.

Instead of the feeling, you focused all your time and energy on other things—grades, homework, friends, and your future.

It grew and grew, almost as if it were inside you. You went to school, and sometimes it got increasingly difficult to get up and put on a fake smile, but it all felt worth it because you were going to help people. And sometimes you grimaced when professors referred to you as “miss l/n”, but it all felt worth it because eventually, they would have to refer to you as “doctor”. And it felt jarring and uncomfortable to wear the blouses, and the heels, and the skirts, but you knew that one day you would be wearing a white coat and scrubs, and you wouldn’t be required to dress like that every day.

You mistook the feeling for a lot of things—being misunderstood, lonely, ambitious, depressed. Perhaps those came with the feeling, but you thought at one point it would stop. You thought that at one point: it’s got to stop.

And even when you realized what it truly was—your discomfort with living and presenting as female—you were damn good at hiding it, and you were a damn good doctor.

You were always able to spot what was wrong with a patient, but more importantly, you could tell when they were lying, or not telling you everything about a situation. You knew how to approach patients to make them more comfortable about sharing information with you—or at least you did most of the time.

This is what allowed you to succeed when you started working with House—you went from being bossed around because he thought you couldn’t do anything, to being bossed around because he thought you could get the patient to open up to you more than him.

You knew you would miss it, but you also knew you had to make a better life for yourself—which is why you decided to quit.

Today marked the start of your last week—you had exactly 7 more days to go. That didn’t mean you didn’t have any paperwork, though, and that’s exactly what you were working on when you heard what sounded like someone was hitting your office door with a stick.

Without waiting for a reply, House walked in, explaining why it sounded like something was hitting the door. He was probably lucky it was wood.

“Why is Cuddy under the impression that you are leaving?”

“Probably because I am.” You said, looking back at your work.

“And you weren’t planning on telling me?”

“Why would I?”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe because we work together, so you should tell me things.”

You glanced up at him, your brow raised.

“Why are you leaving?”

“Did Cuddy not tell you?”

“She told me you had ‘other life opportunities’.”

“You say that like you don’t believe it.”

He snorted. “Yeah, that’s because it’s a lie and not a very good one either.”

You tilted your head. “You think it’s a lie?”

“Please, I know it’s a lie. You wouldn’t just quit for some impromptu opportunity, something is wrong.”

“Nothing is wrong.”

“So you’re leaving me to deal with Foreman, Chase, and Wilson alone over nothing?”

“Sure.” You said, looking back at your laptop.

House walked over to you and slammed your computer shut.

“What are you doing?” You shouted.

He picked up the laptop and hobbled to the other side of the room where he set it down.

“Give it back.” You ordered, getting up, and walking after him. He turned around quickly and blocked you with his cane.

“You’re not quitting.” He said.

“Why do you care?”

“Who said I care? I’m just trying to keep one good doctor in the ring.”

“Well, clearly you talked to Cuddy, so you know the notice is already in, and this is my last week.”

“Redact it.”

“Why should I?”

“Because I’m going to find out anyway.”

Your heart pounded at the idea of him ever finding out, but you simply shook your head.

“You think I won’t?”

You thought about it, before answering “Not any time soon.”

“That sounded like a challenge.”

“It wasn’t.” You stated.

“Let’s make a deal.”

You raised your brow. “A deal.”

“Yes, a deal. If I find out why you’re leaving before the end of the week, you have to stay. If I don’t, then you can leave.”

You thought about it for a moment. “If you can’t figure it out, you don’t get to bother me about it again.”

He paused for a moment. “If I can, you have to do what I say for a day.”

You held back a scoff—it felt like you did that anyway—if he did figure it out, it wouldn’t be any different from the previous times. “Deal.” You said, holding out your hand for him to shake.

He briefly took your hand, and said “deal,” before leaving the room.

As the week went on, House had several theories written on the whiteboard and didn't take any cases—meaning you ended up doing them for him and took Wilson, Foreman, and Chase with you. Sometimes one of them would go in, and report that he was snappy (as usual) and that he insisted you were hiding something.

By your last day, House hadn’t come to you with any accusations, so you weren’t surprised when you heard a similar thwack against wood before your door was opened.

“I figured it out,” House said gruffly, closing the door behind him.

“Did you?”

“You’re trans.”

Your heart raced. “What?”

“Your chest is flat. I thought I was just seeing things, but then I saw a picture of you from last year. Your chest is flat now, you didn’t think anyone would care or notice, because you put in your two weeks' notice, and you thought ‘What the hell, I’m leaving in a few days, no point in wearing a stuffed bra to work every day’.

“Your closet contains mostly feminine clothing—overly feminine, in fact—I’m guessing because your parents never let you wear girly clothes as a child. I noticed your bathroom doesn’t have any hygienic products because you don’t need them, and you don’t use the washrooms here because you’re afraid of someone figuring out you were born a man.”

You looked at him, shocked. You could feel his air of pride, but you could also feel your heartbeat starting to slow.

He thinks you’re a transwoman…not a transman…

“No.”

“What?”

You shook your head. “Nope.”

“I’m not wrong, drop the gig, l/n.”

“I didn’t have menstrual products because I ran out and hadn’t got any left. We barely get breaks long enough to use the washroom. You’ve never seen me in anything except for my work clothes and a dress a few times, so how do you know how I usually dress? As for my chest…”

He looked at you expectantly, despite you shooting daggers.

“No one asked you to look.”

“I’m just being observant.”

You rolled your eyes. You had only recently started binding—and while it felt so much better, you assumed no one noticed. He started reaching for your chest, but you swatted his hand away.

“You only did that because you knew it would prove my point.” He growled.

“You’re wrong, House. I was born female.”

“Well it isn’t a chronic or terminal illness, not mental illness, your family doesn’t require your immediate attention, you have no friends or boyfriends trying to get you to move away with them, you don’t have any stalkers, and no one here has been harassing you.”

“You’re harassing me right now.”

“But you’re not leaving because of me.”

“Right.”

He narrowed his eyes. “What are you hiding?”

You looked up at the clock, it was nearing the end of your shift, anyway, and you were already done with everything.

“You’re not completely wrong.”

“What does that mean? Either I’m wrong or I’m right, and I’ll give you a hint—I am rarely wrong.”

You picked up the box. “Fine. You’re right, I was born a woman, and I hate it.” You said, quickly walking out.

Whatever comment he had for you, you didn’t want to hear it—people like him were exactly why you were leaving. Nevertheless, you heard his footsteps, and cane tapping after you. From the sound of it, you could tell he was struggling to keep up with you in a way that did not elicit pain.

Previously heading towards the elevator, you changed your route towards the stairs, and quickly made your way down. You practically flew down the last flight of stairs, causing you to nearly run into House who was standing in the doorway right at the bottom.

You sighed. “What do you want?”

��You didn’t honestly think it would be that easy, did you?” He asked, limping towards you. You backed up—back onto the stairs. House leaned up against one of the rails with a grunt, taking pressure off his leg.

You rolled your eyes and started walking back out, but he held out his cane to keep you from leaving.

“Why don’t you just let me go?”

“Because that doesn’t sound like a very good reason to leave.”

“What doesn’t?”

“Being transgender. Besides, I was right—so you aren’t allowed to leave.”

“You weren’t right, you thought I was a transwoman.”

He made a face. “I’m sorry, what’s the difference again.” You could tell he wasn’t being genuine, or probably wasn’t, but you answered anyway.

“Hmm. But I did say you were trans, right.”

“Right, but—”

“And you are, yes? Or did I misunderstand?”

“I am, but—”

“Then I was right. Now you have to go back upstairs, put your dinky decorations back on your desk, and be here early tomorrow morning with my coffee.” He said, directing his cane so that you would be forced to back up even more.

Thinking fast, you decided to come up with another compromise.

“No.”

“No? Did we not make a deal?”

“We did, but you were only partially right, therefore you were partially wrong, so we should split the deal.”

“Split the deal?” He scoffed like it was the most absurd thing he’d ever heard.

“Yes, split the deal. I'm leaving, but I’ll do whatever you say for a night.”

“Any night?”

“Saturday.”

He feigned surprise, “are you asking me on a date?”

“I—” you paused when you realized what he had done.

“I am flattered. I don’t usually date men, but if you insist, I will—it’s not like I’m doing anything better on Saturday night anyway. I’ll pick you up at 8.” He said, walking away.

[lovelytayforce]

since you're doing hcs

HCs for the 13 primes in 200 words or less so it's challenging 🫢

Bro thinks Imma FOLLOW THE RULES WHEN RULES ARE MEANT TO BE BROKEN Anyways, ladies and non binaries; let's get this show started!

I've actually written very small vignettes for the 13 for a RP for the people who are out of the loop, no they aren't published but maybe one day I can post em if someone asks nicely 😘 I'd have to explain the context of it all but basically I made this whole sim area based off of Elysia realm; that game mode left a lasting impact on me and it made sense for the Prime's to enter their wisdom as data that embody who they are when they are updated for wisdom is not given, it's earned through mistakes and strife in life. Anyways let's start from the top with my favorite of the Primes: Onyx Prime He doesn't get a lot of screentime which sucks cause he's like THE SHEPARD of the group: He should be guiding Optimus more than Alpha Trion does come on writers THATS HIS WHOLE THING LEADING! (IDW was Shockwave so that doesn't count) I need more of his friendly and kind hearted personality to shine in the main series so BADLY and like again I'm the Predacon addict; let him be my token PREDACON 😭 Anyways onto HCs - with his Triptych Mask; I often give him the aesthetic of opening doors to many places across the universe since he's so spiritually connected to nature and life as it is, he basically has a "Tunnel of light" that can not only guide him but the souls of dearly departed or maybe a lost living soul looking for a reason to keep going forward. - He wanted to live peacefully on Cybertron for a very long time but alas Cybertron wasn't the best place for predacons and maximals with their connection with nature and as transformers I feel he would gladly take the call to transform, adapt and evolve for the betterment of their people - Also, he smelt that functionism bs a mile away and decided to cut his losses while he could. His kids come first! - Can be considered the most motherly and emotionally aware of the group, he's got a good head on him which is why he's so well liked 💙 - He's best friends with predaking in all continuities idc they always find each other - Despite being apart of the Well of Allsparks, he has a physical form but it takes a lot of energy to stabilize so don't expect long talks at night. Onto my second favorite- Quintus Prime! Can I just mention how beautiful this design is? He's so pretty I love him 💙

I never really agreed with him being unimaginative considering he created life but I understood the perfectionist plights he held as for idealism, where his concepts really that unrealistic? I loved questioning that because despite his good intentions he made probably one of the worst species alive but it brings about a funny thing about life; you can't mold individuals with free will to your vision. One way or another this would have unfolded considering many would do anything to reach their god much less creator to understand their purpose in life. okay no more philosophy, lets move on to those hcs~ - After many of his failed attempts at making allies for Cybertronians he withheld himself in the land of his daydreams casting aside his perfectionist habits, he paints. He creates for the joy of it, for within a dream nothing can escape his control. It gives him time to think things out and truly understand how life exists and the beauty of nature that once puzzled him that his brother Onyx knew so well. It's a slow process but it opens this scientist's horizons beyond anything even primus could anticipate! You already know whose my next favorite is if you know me and my love for Transformers Cybertron and Armada those shows were my CHILDHOOD BRO Let's set the timer for Vector Prime! ⏰ YOU'LL ALWAYS BE ICONIC QUEEN THE FIRST PRIME I EVER STANNED OPTIMUS PRIME WHO /jk

I subscribe to the majority of his Ask Vector Prime answers which as follows: He's a fan of the dinobots He used to "boogie down" with a disco ball. Despite having traveled far and wide, he could not see why kids loved Cinnamon Toast Crunch. If he had to choose a beast mode, it would be a large sea mammal. Everyone he ever cares about will grow old and die in what, to him, is just the pulse of a spark. Sometimes, he feels alone even when he's in a crowd. His favorite human movie was Back to the Future, due to the performance of lead actor Eric Stoltz. He revealed himself as a Point One Percenter (after the Shroud).

Please read what this man talks about on tfwiki, he's a national treasure who brings me joy during my great depression. Anyways onto my own hcs 🥰

He's a stickler for being on time! Don't you dare be late! You're wasting his precious time!Vector Prime - The clock that always strikes on time!He's the first POP (Point One Percenter) and was the mold for many POP's in the future such as Skywarp As a being held by the constraints of time, even though he wants to save as many universes as he can, he simply cannot; he's stuck between a physical form and a form distorted by the whims of time and space what little control he has is simply a delicacy that must be treasured with the utmost care. He keeps small trinkets from his favorite universes and planets and leaves clocks around for the sole purpose of helping those looking for his helping hand. Also, I just think it'd be neat to find a giant clock and if you strike right for midnight he'll appear!!

The rest are in the reblogs. 👏🏽

[hjeojeo]

Previous reblogged post (link) (quick summary: people online in creative communities don't interact with each other as they used to, don't share their thoughts and feelings of what art makes them feel, everything is content fodder they reflexively scroll through)

And this post on twitter (link) (quick summary of this video: someone expresses they always feel overwhelmed by messages, and someone else explains humans can't handle being available 24/7 bc this social change was only within the last 20 years so the current social expectation of prompt response is impossible, humans haven't evolved fast enough to handle this kind of stress)

Got me thinking about how everything really is backwards to what would help nurture a genuine community.

We're both too present and demanding of others' presence in the arbitrary ways, but also not present enough with the actual parts that matter like vulnerability with sharing yer thoughts to someone else.

I know that we all know that it's cause of capitalism, but i feel like there are some things we collectively could do about it instead of waiting for capitalism to eventually crumble.

I know that for myself it helped a lot to budget my time online, bc i know my brain can only take so much info before it's just stuck in scroll mode without processing anything (gotta accept that yeah yer gonna miss like 99% of what's going on, but you'llbe able to process yer 1% of what you experience better imo). And i try to remind myself to not just anger respond to ppl when theyre weird/rude to me bc ppl Get a certain way online when they can't experience the irl experience of a whole ass person in front of them (i just ignore those ppl tho bc i don't have the patience or energy to try to interact with those rank vibes).

I think the hardest part is being vulnerable and talking to ppl openly, but i can't tell if that's cause of growing up in an abusive home or bc internet social atmospheres have become so stagnant and moldy, probably both; but i am trying to put some active effort into being more vulnerable and genuine as often as i can even tho i gotta do it with gritted teeth sometimes

Truly, current day is the scifi dystopia of surveillance state government, weirdest social expectations and norms, active modern colonialism and genocides, slavery reskinned as prison system, and probably more I can't remmeber at top of my head.

But i guess like those scifi dystopia genres, all the individual can do is collective efforts as a community, and also fight tooth and nail to nurture yer humanity and human experience...starting with seeing past the usernames and profiles to the actual human being that sits behind the screen..

Cause if you start there, it may naturally lead to the actions that you might want to do but feel that you can't- like showing up for other people/community/people in need/etc, i think when yer in a frozen state everything will feel impossible to you, but i think if you get moving it'll slowly become more obvious to you what the next steps can be, and then i guess that's how you gradually become the person you want to be (you never start off knowing yer full path, sometimes you don't even know yer next step, but you might have some inkling of a thougut of what to try that might help you get information for the next step)

Hm...Idk i have bad habit of trying to neatly summarize stuff for my small brain, this is all stuff for me to digest in the long term

[akindplace]

Hi, you don't have to answer this if you don't want to, or if you don't feel up to it, that's ok. But I'd like to hear the advice of someone who actually lives with a chronic illness. My brother, who I love deeply and care for daily, is really struggling. He's in a lot of pain and life is unendurable to him. He says he's too weak to go outside, or to do anything that could maybe bring him a little bit of joy. He's angry and isolates and doesn't want to live anymore. I don't know how to reach him or show him that I care, he says I will never understand what is like to live with a chronic illness and therefore nothing that I say is useful because it's ignorant and uninformed. I've been reading about what to say and what not to say to someone who's chronically ill and I do my best to avoid harmful phrases. But he's truly so so pessimistic and in a very very dark place. All his doctors said his current state and quality of life could improve but he needs to show up for appointments and follow the treatments, but he's tired of diets and medication not working and going through painful tests and procedures and not seeing results. He's given up, on himself, his health, life. He just stays in his room, angry and resentful, and wants to die. I don't know what to do. I feel so powerless. Do you know what's the best way to help someone in this situation? He also refuses to go to therapy, despite admitting he's depressed. Ok, thanks for reading. Hope you're having a nice day, thank you for your blog <3

You seem to be in a really, really tough spot, it’s hard to watch someone you love suffer without being able to change what’s causing their suffering. It seems he is coming from a place of a lot of pain, emotional pain caused by the physical pain. Pain can often make us bitter and say things that we don’t really mean, pain makes us feel so overwhelmed and sometimes we snap even when we don’t mean to. It is exhausting, and he probably is and that’s also making his mood even worse. Being sick all the time really sucks and makes us put a lot of pressure on, but it’s also awful to watch someone hurt. It’s hard because going to the doctors can feel like opening a wound that needs to be dressed but only given a bandaid, it involves exams, and doctors might often act like it’s really simple to make things better when it really isn’t. I wonder if making a deal of sorts with him would help, like saying that he doesn’t need to commit to more intensive treatments or intrusive exams if he doesn’t want to because they’re awful but start off with the smaller things that could help, like taking medication or taking him out for a short period of time so he can be out in the sun and enjoy himself a little, or watching a movie he likes or playing a game so he is reminded that life can be joyful even if he is sick. Or encouraging him to get treatment that if he doesn’t like doing a certain treatment that it’s fine if he doesn’t want to continue but he should try.

Often times it makes us really uncomfortable because a lot of energy goes into getting to a clinic, chatting with personal there, explaining to the doctor what is going on (and sometimes they just don’t listen), it puts people with illnesses in a really vulnerable position and it sucks cause you get home exhausted and you need to rest a lot to recover and then by the time you’re a little better it’s time to go out again to repeat. Often times starting out with medication that helps with the pain/symptoms is already a huge step. I know it’s hard to watch him in pain and feel like maybe you can’t make him get treatments but encouraging him to take it in really slow baby steps to get help instead of doing something big that might make him even more exhausted might help out a lot. Telling him you’re in his side, that you’re there for him, those words of support really, really help, because being sick just makes us feel so vulnerable, and often the eternal cycle of going to the doctors might make a person feel so small, so it’s always great to do things that take his mind away from his illness even if just for a second. Having a blog helps me with things like that, trying to take a short walk also helps, reading, watching a comedy movie. Sometimes it’s better to take a break from all the appointments instead of forcing it because if he pushes it might make his health worse and the treatments might not have good result if he forces himself too much. Often we do push ourselves a lot more than we should, as if we could make up for being sick.

I’m not 100% sure what I’m saying is helpful but sometimes encouraging him in a very gentle way to do the smallest thing that can improve his health like eating regularly and taking medication in the right hours and cheering him if he decides to get one of the treatments and supporting him if he decides it’s just not being worth it after trying can be really beneficial. And doing things that don’t remind him of his illness can really help with his depression, because frankly being sick all the time can be so devastating, so hobbies that are easy to do for someone with an illness can be really helpful, things that don’t involve a lot of effort so it won’t tire him more or make his symptoms worse.

Trying to be communicative also helps because it’s comforting to know someone is there for them, it can be really hard to ask for help, especially when someone is feeling hopeless and overwhelmed. I think it’s great that you are working on that, on finding ways to speak to him, to understand his perspective and it’s wonderful that he has someone who cares for him and is willing to help. I hope what I said helps a little, I think you’re in a tough spot and it must be hard to want to help but not be able to completely take away his pain. I really, really hope things improve and that he feels a little better soon, and that you also remember to take care of yourself because you also need caring for, especially when you’re probably under a lot of stress trying to help him. I’m here. I hope things change for the better soon, and that you’ll both feel better. I’m cheering for you two. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

[kuregure]

bro, the moment mahiru killed guren's friends she was a vampire, vampires can't have demonstrated because they are poison to them just like how krul dead because of it and she also passed Shikamadouji to shinoa she wasn't possessed lol

And mahiru herself admitted SHE was the one who planned for sakae's death and she was the one who put the pieces together the way they would eventually execute him so yeah SHE was the one behind actually his death

Why are you trying to justify ALL Mahiru's actions? F×ck her man, she is a literal b!tch how would someone even THINK about marrying someone who killed his beloved?🤪🤥

My patience has limits. Seriously bro, what do you have to do with your life to show up in people's asks to spew your hatred and look stupid? Tumblr is not the place for that. You don't even have the courage to do it openly but anonymously, it's childish. I'm going to respond one last time and then I won't respond to your asks (which aren't even any in fact).

It's been a long time since I read cat16 and it's true, you're right, that I forgot the fact that Mahiru was transformed by Krul. Still, she was still in SOMEONE ELSE's plans. I said I remained objective, and the fact that Mahiru was manipulated from the beginning is true. Do you think she would have wanted to kill Guren's friends by being herself? Human and not manipulated? It would be honestly stupid to think that, she loves Guren so normally she probably wouldn't have killed the people Guren loves. This is simply unthinkable. Still being the fact that we don't have any answers from Kagami on any of this. He'd better explain everything at the end, which would prevent people like you from slipping into my asks.

The Hiiragi (manipulated by Shikama Doji) were the ones who sealed Mahiru's fate. She couldn't go against her own destiny, and she wasn't happy about it. Guren wasn't even supposed to be there, trying to save her, Mahiru said that because it would get in the way of what the Hiiragi wanted to do. The Seraph of the End experience.

Second, I don't remember anything mentioning her admitting to planning Sakae's death. So I can't say, but what I do know is that Kureto was tasked with giving the mission to kill Mahiru to Guren otherwise his father would die. The Hiiragi despise the Ichinose so executing Sakae for this mission was a humiliation tactic. And which also adds something extra for the development of Guren's character implicitly. It seems incredible to me that the normal Mahiru, as a normal girl, without anyone manipulating her and sealing her destiny, the Mahiru who spoke for hours about Guren to her little sister Shinoa, could one day plan of her own will the death of the father and friends of the one Guren loves.

Everyone knows that Mahiru's destiny was sealed since she was little.

Then, I'm not trying to justify her actions. I'm just being logical, following what the novels, what Kagami wrote. It's just you not even trying to really read what Kagami writes. I'm no one to justify or not justify a character's actions. I wouldn't say Mahiru's actions are right, nor Guren's, nor Yuichiro's, Shinoa's or Mikaela's. The only thing we can all know is that we know the reasons, the why and how they were led to do these actions. Defining what is fair or not is still impossible to do today, because it is in fact a matter of individual subjectivity. One person may think something is right, while someone else would think that same action is wrong.

Insulting a character is something truly ridiculous and childish, since they are fictional. Mahiru does not exist. Guren does not exist. All the characters in ONS doesn't exist, you're wasting your energy on someone who doesn't exist. Go touch some grass and reconnect with nature.

Finally, I suppose you were referring to Shinya as "beloved". He is not. It is not mentioned anywhere that he is. Until proven otherwise, they are best friends. And even though on Shinya's side we had more material, I don't think it's love but simply admiration and idolatry. Concerning Guren, nothing is mentioned. They're not beloved in the manga, and it seems like you can't stand it. On the other hand, Mahiru and Guren were the closest ship to being a reality, whether you like it or not. I'm not Kagami, there's nothing I can do about it.

I'm not anti ShinGure and pro MahiGure. I state the facts about these ships in the manga.

ShinGure is my favorite ship from Seraph of the End. But unfortunately, they are nothing more than best friends. Of course I wish there was more to it than that, but there isn't. Moreover, we already have many passages and words that can satisfy us. But we know, being realistic, that there will probably never be anything more than strong friendship. Love is different.

Unless Kagami one day decides to veer into LGBTQIA+ themes regarding Guren and Shinya, so far there's nothing. It's like that. ❤

So come now with your face uncovered so I can block you 🤺

There you go, I will no longer respond to your anonymous asks.

[lunagojo]

Gojo Satoru Headcanons

(these are just my personal thoughts, don't mind me ;u;)

Is bisexual (definitely not straight imo, he defs had feelings for Suguru but he also loves women)

Sings loudly in the shower (even if its early in the morning) and always gets soap in his eyes, every. single. time, which leads to him screaming and waking everyone up

Truly loves Megumi like his own son, would do anything to keep him safe

I don't think he's a virgin tbh, like everyone seems to think. I think he's fucked around a lot especially after what happened with Suguru

He's afraid of commitment not because he's a fuckboy but because he's terrified of opening his heart to someone again and losing them (he doesn't think he could handle that again and he HATES feeling weak)

Goes shopping with Nobara all the time and lets her use his credit card

Is actually a gigantic sweetheart once you get to know him better

Yes he will torment you and tease you but it's his way of showing affection :p

Unironically says 'poggers' which pisses off Megumi and embarrasses Yuuji

Sometimes he finds himself wanting someone to see him as a human being and not just the strongest jujutsu sorcerer, he just yearns to be understood again like Suguru did

This is canon but is FIERCELY protective of his students, like will actually choke a bitch if someone even looks at them wrong

Has the prettiest hands, takes really good care of them

Has the strangest taste in music, will be listening to Kyary Pamyu Pamyu at one moment and the next will be listening to Linkin Park >.>

Fidgets when he's bored

Doesn't know how to operate a laundry machine

Can eat an exorbitant amount of sweets and never get sick, his metabolism is insane

Spam calls Nanami all the time and leaves him annoying ass voicemails whenever he doesn't pick up

Comes across as an idiot but is actually incredibly intelligent and good at reading people

Would love all of his simps

MOVING ON TO THE ROMANTIC SHTUFF

I think he would appreciate a partner that's on his same wavelength, like someone who is able to match his energy and silliness, but also to understand him deeply and be patient with him

If you can make him laugh that's bonus points, he finds funny people extremely attractive

I don't think he has a particular preference in terms of appearance, despite everyone thinking he's shallow he actually values personality a helluva lot more than looks

If it's a debate of ass, tits, or thighs, he'd probably say all three

But he does have a weakness for tatas lol

If you put on his blindfold and imitate him jokingly he will propose on the spot

Is an absolute cuddle bug, if he's around you he cannot keep his hands off of you

He is EXTREMELY touch starved, once you touch him gently he will melt

Tried to cook for you once and almost burned the house down, I don't think he can cook very well XD

He will take you out on fancy dates and getaways, but the times he values most is when he just gets to relax at home with you and rest his head on your chest <3

Needs a lot of reassurance that you're not going to leave him early on

WANTS YOU TO SQUISH HIS FACE AND KISS HIM A LOT <3

Since he's so busy he's gone a lot, but he makes sure to Facetime you every day so he can see your face and hear your voice ;n;

The first time he told you he loved you was when he finally explained what happened in his past with Getou

You'd never seen him look so scared or upset but when you embraced him and told him you felt the same he sank into your arms

He doesn't fall in love easily but when he does you're never getting rid of him ;u;

[aboutcustardcreams]

The monster within you

[ z. s & c. g ]

part two

three

You stumble over your feet, an awkward smile graces upon your lips, as you're met with a stranger instead of the pizza delivery guy as you had hoped.

"Uhm, hello! Can I help you?", you ask, leaning against the doorframe.

The stranger smiles politely back at you, "Maybe I can help you," he confesses, and you look up at him curiously. He drifts his eyes towards the briefcase that he is holding, as to prompt you to do the same.

"I'm afraid I don't understand," you trail off.

"Would you be so kind to let me in so I can explain?"

He didn't look perilous, just weird. You take a quick look behind you, Zelda and Cordelia are still in the room upstairs, probably believing the pizza has arrived. Eventually, you think five minutes won't hurt, so you motion with your hand for him to come inside.

"I felt drawn to this house and its energy the moment I saw it," he looks around, placing the briefcase on the kitchen's counter, without moving too far from it. Your eyes dart towards it, and you can't help wondering what's inside. Narrowing your eyes, you lean forward, "what do you mean?"

"I believe the relic brought me to you."

Your eyes snap open, in confusion, "the relic?", you repeat, feeling a little dumb.

A little smirk plays out on the man's face as his fingers tap over the surface of the leather briefcase, "something that might interest you, witch," he states, before opening it. Inside, you can't tell there is something you recognize. It seems to be a simple piece of cloth, folded in two, of a bleached yellowish fabric, probably due to its age. However, as your hand reaches out to touch it, you feel a strange energy tingling your fingers.

"What is this?", you ask, only to remember a second after that he called you witch, "wait, how do you know that I am a—?", however, you don't even finish your thought, considering the relic he was carrying was surely linked to a source of magic. He must be magic himself, or something of the sort.

He chuckles, then quickly apologizes, "I understand your confusion. I should have introduced myself beforehand, anyway I'm not a mortal, but a globetrotter of all realms, no more no less you need to know," he says, as if that clarifies all your doubts, "I found this during one of my strolls."

You nod at that, giving yourself time to assimilate things. Was he a servant of Hell? Or just a traveler? And why, you thought, his eyes looked like a living windstorm? He didn't tell you a name or anything, but he probably won't give you one.

"That's... cool, I guess," you shrug, "although, it's still not clear to me as to why you're here."

"You see, I'm drawn to whoever has some unfinished businesses or doubts about themselves, any chances that could be you?", the way he asks that question makes you believe he already had an answer. It's more of a question to you, rather than for him.

"I'm afraid I don't quite follow," your eyes squint a bit, as you tilt your head to the side, truly confused.

He tries then with a different approach, "Do you know who you are?"

You can't help the scoff that comes out of you. He was indeed a peculiar one.

"Last time I checked I was a witch, Celeste Payton," you feel weird the moment you pronounce your name and can't exactly venture a guess as to why. Maybe it's the way he looks at you, as if he knew more, better or even differently.

He clicks his tongue, "Right, except that's not your real name."

Your frown deepens, and so does your disbelief, "And you would know because...", you awkwardly point at him up and down with your hand, "you're a globetrotter or whatever?"

"Kind of," he shrugs, then leans further close to you, with the relic in his hands, "aren't you curious to discover who your biological parents truly are? You might eventually find the truth about yourself. Everyone has a purpose, but you can't fully grasp yours if you don't start from the beginning, can you?", when his eyes dive into yours, you grasp something more than a simple shadow of gray. You've never seen something like that before, you can almost hear a sound if you focus enough. Like a woosh, if that makes any sense. A tornado moving in his eyes.

You pause for a moment to think. "I guess that has crossed my mind once or twice," you say stiffly, suddenly feeling vulnerable for obvious reasons, "I was given up as baby with no name, or anything that could help me trace back to them, so I presume whoever my parents are, don't really want to be found."

The man hums and hints of a smile that carries a shadow of amusement, or so you think, "I highly doubt that," he says, leaving you blinking in confusion, "I mean, unless they are dead, which can be a possibility too," you feel your heart drop for some reason. It's weird considering you've never met them. Plus, you shouldn't feel attached to someone that gave you away, right?

"No worries, I can help you with that too," he admits, in a softer tone, "all you need to do is cover your eyes with it, and let the sight come to you."

You let out a brief, sarcastic chuckle, "seems to be my lucky day, innit?", your attempt at humor provokes pity in the man's eyes.

The corner of his mouth twists into a plain smile, "you see, this belonged to a witch, whose name was Lucia. Does it ring a bell?", you shake your head while he places the relic in your hands, "Not only was she a witch, but also a blessed soul by the False God."

"How is that even possible?", you shake your head, hardly believing what he is telling you now.

He proceeds on telling you the story of Lucia, a young witch who was called by the Dark Lord to fulfil one of his wishes. She was plagued by nightmares when she refused to listen to his order. Eventually the nightmares followed her in the light of the day, to the point that life had become a torment to her: whatever she looked she was plagued by horrors and pain. So, she clawed her eyes out in desperation and with that gesture, she stopped seeing the Dark Lord, wherever she turned. She didn't dream anymore, but it was no problem to her because she could finally rest. And that eyepatch is what she used to cover her empty orbs. That's until the False God showed up to her feeling merciful. He blessed her with the sight, not in the narrow sense of the term, but as a gift that helped her see things nobody else could. The relic still guards that power now; a sight in all its forms.

You feel at a loss of words, now even more intrigued by that thing.

"What happens when I put it on?"

"Many things," he states simply. You feel your stomach twist in an unfamiliar and uncomfortable way. He seems to notice the grimace upon your face and a small chuckle comes out of him in response, "There's no need to be afraid. This is only a holder of truth..."

"Can it hurt me?" you whisper softly.

"It depends on what's your life story. There's no guarantee that it's a nice one, but it shouldn't be enough reason to hold back," he admits truthfully.

"There is more, though. You shouldn't keep it on for more than one minute per time," he warns you solemnly, never leaving your face.

"What happens after that?", you ask in a hesitant tone.

"You don't want to find out," he cackles slightly and darkly, but there is no amusement in his tone.

You nod and rests composed, despite not being calm at all. Feeling conflicted, you start nibbling on your bottom lip, torn about what to do. Your mind is telling you to kick this man out of the house, but your heart is telling you the opposite, begging you to find the answers you never really searched for. You feel your heart leap into your throat. You can't ignore the fact that your partners will surely kill you if you don't talk to them about this before making any decision.

"I need to think about it," you then realize it shouldn't be a decision to be taken lightly.

"No pressure, witchy. I can leave it here, as a gift."

Why? Why was he willing to do such a thing for you? What's in it for him?

"Why are you doing this?", you whisper.

"No reason. I simply go around helping people that might need me."

One of the biggest lessons Zelda taught you comes to your ears, in her voice. Everything has a price. Nobody is genuinely kind to you, or does something for you without thinking of a way to benefit from it.

"Celeste, are you coming?" speaking of the devil...

You make a startled noise at her voice coming to your ears and feel like a child that has been busted doing something they shouldn't have.

You hesitate, then shout back, "Yes, one second!", then you turn towards the man who's already walking himself towards the door. You take a sigh of relief, glad that he had read your mind, "I'll come back in three days."

You nod quietly, mouthing a feeble thank you in his direction. He gives you another smile of courtesy, before walking down the stairs of the porch, smashing right in front of the pizza delivery guy that is coming right towards you. Well, he didn't exactly smash against him, more like he passed through him, vanishing then in thin air, as if the mad had been made of dust.

Your mouth falls agape, as you blink slowly, almost in trance. You take the pizza box almost by inertia, and thank the boy without really looking at him. You tell him to keep the change and he flees back to his scooter, happy to have earned a tip of over fifteen dollars.

*

"Woah, slow down, sweetheart, what got you so excited?", Cordelia chuckles lightly. She places both hands on your shoulders, offering you a squeeze.

You had just climbed the stairs in less than four seconds, instead of transmuting, so you take a moment to collect your breath.

"Where's the pizza?", Zelda asks you.

Realization hits you, "Oh, it's downstairs," you mutter apologetically, "But I've got news, great ones. A globetrotter showed up at the door and gave me this," their gaze drift towards the piece of cloth in your hand. They had mistaken it for a mere napkin. Holding it carefully, as if your life depends on it, you continue, "he said it could help me learning about my heritage, by putting it on."

"Where does it come from?", Zelda steps closer, suspiciously.

"Between realms," you state vaguely, and you can tell your answer doesn't really suffice. Shrugging, you look down at it, tracing your fingertips over the partially consumed fabric, "it guards an enormous power and gives sight to those in need to see."

Both witches stay quiet for a moment, trying to make some sense to what you've just said. There is a hidden meaning behind your words, that's clear. You spot Cordelia gnawing at her lip, "are you sure it's safe?", she questions as she takes in you.

You sigh, "I suppose, yeah," you say with a crinkled nose. Of course, you couldn't be one hundred per cent sure, but as the man told you, you couldn't let a fear hold you back from the truth.

"No," Zelda says, voice firm and unwavering.

You squint your eyes, turning towards Zelda, "No?"

Cordelia runs a hand through her hair, "Oh, unholy Lilith," she sighs.

Zelda arches an eyebrow in your direction, her perfectly red lips curve in a grimace, "I'm sorry, didn't you hear me the first time?", she questions, in a mockery tone.

A wave of disappointment washes over you, "Come on, Zelds, I'm not in the mood for games."

The redhead's responding chuckle is sarcastic.

Cordelia doesn't fail to notice the way your fingertips tremble as you hold the relic in your hands.

"Neither am I," Zelda quickly retorts, "it's a bad idea on so many levels," she continues, and that only fuels the exasperation already rising in you.

"But why?", you let out a confused sigh, "Lucia was blessed with the sight, and this relic guards its power."

At the mention of the witch's name, Zelda's eyes grow bigger, "I beg your pardon? Lucia as in Saint Lucia?"

You bite your tongue and say nothing. You silence answers her question and her disbelief duplicates.

"Did you hear her, darling?", she eyes Cordelia and tilts her head, "Our little witch, here, thinks it's a good idea to use a Christian relic to fulfill her purpose!" she almost yells, anger and disbelief gnawing at each word.

You roll your eyes and snort, and before you can add anything she continues, "What's next? Have a taste of Christ's body and say Amen?"

Cordelia's lip quivers a bit. She has to turn away for a second to hide the amused smile that is curving her mouth upwards.

"Do I need to remind you Lucia was also a witch?", sure to prove your point, you stand tall with conviction.

"A traitor of the Church of Night, yes," she points out.

It was rich coming from her, considering all the times she and her family went against the Dark Lord.

"The man didn't mention what Lucia refused to do for Lucifer's sake, but you very well know what He is— was capable of, so I don't blame her."

Zelda and Cordelia exchange a both frustrated and concerned look.

The Supreme, then, comes behind you, "I mean, she does has a point," that comment causes your smile to reach your ears and eyes.

Zelda groans, and feels a sort of dejavu as she witnesses that scene. It almost felt like one of those times, where Lilith and Sabrina teamed up against her.

"If only we gave it a chance..."

Zelda runs a hand through her hair. A whirlwind of thoughts races through her mind, in each of them she sees how it could go tremendously bad for you.

"It could be my sole possibility to know who I really am," your voice sounds more like a plea now. You search for her eyes, but Zelda doesn't look at you, "Please," you scoot close to her eyeing her with doe eyes, hoping it would work.

"Stop pouting like that, you're not a child."

Zelda is a strong, tough woman. A lioness in every sense of the term, however, when it comes to keep you, Cordelia or her family safe, whatever the cost, the lioness can turn into a much ferocious beast. But there's another side belonging to her, a softer one, definitely weaker than she would like to admit. On the outside, she portrays strenght, but on the inside, she resembles the bravery of a newborn kitten.

"Maybe we should do some research first, to be sure we aren't dealing with anything life threatening," Cordelia interjects carefully.

You look at her with hope in your eyes. The redhead, instead, shoots her a glance of pure horror, as if the Supreme had just grown a second head, "I'm sorry are you agreeing to this?" There is something about that piece of cloth that doesn't feel right. It's paradoxical that in need to see, one needs to go blind. Not in the strict sense of the term, however, in the world of magic one can never know.

Cordelia merely rolls her eyes, "Celeste won't be facing this alone. She has us, and if she really wants answers, then we should be supportive, don't you think?"

"You should very well know that everything has a price. And more often than not, the sacrifice isn't worth the outcome."

"How can you say that?", you huff, frowning at her, "This is something that doesn't even concern you. It's about my family."

Zelda tilts her head slowly and dangerously, "What pish posh are you saying? How does it not concern me, exactly? You're my family, Celeste," she snaps with a hint of irritation in her tone.

You stand there awkwardly, feeling dumb.

You hear Cordelia sigh from behind you, and despite not being fond of the plan herself, she knows she can't keep you from it.

"Can we talk about this without fighting?"

"For all we know once you put that blindfold, you turn blind," the redhead mutters under her breath.

Fear fills the Supreme's eyes, heart pounds and stomach churns at the possibility of Zelda being right. She, herself, turned blind once and it hadn't been pleasant, not in the slightest.

You, on the other hand, let out an exasperated chuckle, "it's a piece of cloth, not a goddamn dagger."

"A piece of cloth that can help you see things, but at what price?", she argues but it fails on deaf ears and she knows it.

You cross your arms defensively, "Let me find out."

She scoffs and rolls her eyes, "it's all about you, isn't it?", voice rising as she speaks, "You and your selfish purposes," you open your mouth to respond, but you are not sure what to say, not immediately at least.

"Love, whatever are you talking about?", the Supreme interjects, brows knitted in a frown.

You lower your gaze to the floor, a single tear finds its way down your cheek, but you're quick to wipe it, "so this is what you think? That I'm selfish?", your voice comes out shy and weak.

Zelda's eyes look mortified once she goes back looking at you. She reaches out a hand to grasp yours, but you take a prompt step back. She, then, takes in a shaky sigh, "No, no. Of course not. I'm sorry, Celeste," she stutters, and she normally never does, "I don't know why I said that."

You swallow hard, "it's okay," you mutter after a pause. When you avert your gaze, she spots shiny tears glistening in your eyes and her heart drops in her stomach. "Celeste, all I'm trying to do is protect you," she mutters apologetically, "If something was to happen..."

You sigh, "Nothing is gonna happen. He told me."

"And you trust him more than me?", she interrupts you, patience as thin as a hair, "I thought you wiser than that."

Feeling heat creeping at your face, you blurt out, "and I thought you had a little more faith in me."

"Faith, you say?", Zelda eyes grow wider, cheeks flushing bright red, "The same faith I gave you when you were clearly unwell, but denied till you lost consciousness?"

Your mouth drops in shock. "That was different, and you know it!"

Cordelia comes around to your side, "Girls," she soothes, but in vain.

"Was it really?", Zelda insists, "Hell, sometimes you're... mindless."

"Zelda, enough" the Supreme admonishes, reaching out to grasp her forearm.

The redhead clenches her jaw in response.

"We should be able to talk things out without accusing each other in the process," she adds by putting emphasis on each word, talking as it she is dealing with two unruly children rather than her girlfriends.

Zelda scoffs at that, "I'm merely stating facts."

You shake your head in disbelief "How can you speak to me like that?" There is hurt in your voice.

"She doesn't mean it," Cordelia insists, flashing a glare towards the redhead.

"You will get yourself killed," she insists, helplessly.

"Okay, now you stop it," the Supreme's patience was reaching its peak, and you could see it, "This behavior of yours isn't helping at all."

"It's okay, Dee," you mutter calmly, that tone of voice surprises both witches. "I was nice enough to inform you about what I've been given, but, breaking news, I don't need your permission to do anything," your eyes flash in a way that have never done before.

Zelda feels a shiver run through her spine, "Darling..."

"Don't darling me," you snap in a hiss, "I'm done with this conversation," you turn around towards the door, feeling the need to unwind a bit, "I'll sit on the porch for a while," you whisper to them.

Zelda's words suddenly echo in your mind, making you feel more guilty than ever. Maybe she was right, when she said you were selfish. It burned you more than you'd like to admit. Were you really that bad when all you wanted was to find the truth about your biological parents?

Cordelia swallows thickly. Reluctantly, she accepts your need of space, "If you need us..."

"I know, thanks Dee," you answer softly, and she winces at the sight of the little tears in your eyes.

Zelda comes to stand next the two of you. Before you can lean, her hand cups your cheek, and you let her, leaning into her touch, suddenly craving for it. "Celeste, I...", she tries, but you quickly hush her, "I know," her eyes speak louder than her voice, sometimes.

Zelda hums silently and lets a few tears run down her cheeks, freely. You lean further to place a chaste kiss to the corner of her mouth. A watery smile is what follows on her face.

"I won't do anything without you two present, so no worries."

"How comforting," the redhead mutters sarcastically, causing both you and Cordelia to chuckle.

You take a couple of steps backwards, then turn around and exit the room. The relic still in your hands, however, you meant it. You wouldn't use it without them.

Cordelia turns around to meet Zelda's gaze. She reaches out to cling to her cheetah blouse, burying her face in her chest. Zelda's hands wrap around the Supreme's waist, then buries her nose in her golden locks, to inhale her sweet scent.

"What did I do to deserve you two in my life?" she later wonders out loud, briefly rolling her eyes.

Cordelia's response is a quiet chuckle, "I could ask myself the same thing," she responds, snuggling in Zelda's embrace.

•

A/n: alright so for the record, I changed the story of Saint Lucia to make it better adapt to my story. I apologize if there are some mistakes here and there, I couldn’t bring myself to reread because I was too eager to click the ‘publish’ button 🙌🏻

How many like me? Hope you’re enjoying the ride 😌

What do you think it will happen?

What’s your guess?

xoxo

[daisys-reality]

Your pick a piles are just *chef's kiss* 🤌 💖

As someone who practice divination techniques, how do you see the law of assumption and reality shifting? I just want to know your views on them <3

Oh dear anon, that is a truly interesting but very broad question.😅 First of all, thank you for the feedback regarding my PAC readings. It makes me happy to know you enjoy them.☺️🌸

general disclaimer: I'm not preaching absolute truths here! I'm just sharing my opinion and my personal perspective of these things. I'm not forcing anyone of you to agree or anything. My opinion often changes slightly too. So, I'm rather open for discussion and sharing each other's opinion! I just want to be clear about that. Also, as this feels quiet personal, I don’t know how long I will keep this on this blog.

[here the link to part two]

I'd like to say first that I've been into Divination (Tarot, oracle, Lenormand, astrology etc.) way longer than I've been into Reality Shifting and Law of Assumption. The latter two only since the beginning of 2022. Sure, I have heard of those expressions before 2022 but I couldn't really wrap my mind around those terms, I didn't know how to fit them into my belief system at that time. Oh, and even before Divination, I was also deep into subliminals and Law of Attraction like around 2015/16 but Law of Attraction is not what I follow anymore (obviously). Now that you have a little background, let's focus on your questions.

In regards to DIVINATION specifically:

-> I think I've talked about this somewhere before but in early times I focused on the communication with my 'spirit guides' and 'my high self' specifically but I don't really do this that way anymore. I still have my grounding and protection techniques (mainly through intentions and visualization) and stuff but I just try to connect to some open source (if that makes sense, idk how to explain it better) and ask for messages/advice. If I receive something because someone/something reaches out to me that's fine, if not, also fine. Things should never be forced ! Keeping a cool head at all times is advisable as well. Analyzing your environment, its atmosphere and energy also sometimes gives you clues. In my opinion, you have to be grounded and persistent in your boundaries in the way that you don't accept anything else than truth and/or the ideal advice for the respective person. Respect is very important as well - to yourself and every party involved! At the end of the day, it's all about your attitude and assumptions I guess. On a side note, just like reading for any other person you can connect with and read for people in other realities too (obviously including fictional 'characters' as well). There is nothing like 'great distance' or someone being too 'far away' to connect with on that dimension. However, there can be blockages (like for example, someone not wanting to connect or not wanting to share something with me as the reader or with the receiver of the message at the respective time).

Now, I will try to explain the main points of my belief regarding reality shifting & law of assumption in general (I don't think I need to additionally specify what those terms 'Reality Shifting' and 'Law of Assumption' stand for. So, I will get right into my personal perspective):

-> I see myself just as consciousness. And there is much more to myself than I'm currently aware of or rather more than I could probably grasp at this very moment. I'm currently aware of only a really small part of this 'consciousness'. I like the analogy that this life we have (the 'human body experience') is like a movie we watch in our mind (- and while we're on this topic, reality shifting in this case is kind of like switching the tv chaneI.) Though, I feel the need to say that this life (or rather the 3D) is still REAL !! There is no reason to get sad or whatever just because everything is a "movie". I sometimes see that some people in this community are scared of the idea that nothing is real or that everything is meaningless and they spiral into negativity and hopelessness. However, this is not necessarily the case because the human word "REAL" has a definition that is made by us humans specifically for this so called "movie" we're seeing and experiencing !! So, let's do some equations: We humans claim that Life/3D = REAL. The properties of this adjective 'REAL' = a movie-like experience. Life/3D = a movie-like experience while still being (=) REAL. [On a side note: DR experiences (while shifting) = REAL = movie-like experience as well] - I'm not sure if this made things more complicated , I really hope not. Oh well, let's continue... One of the main thoughts in the Law of Assumption community seems to be that 'I am the operant power(/'god') of everything and therefore, there is nothing outside of myself'. In contrast to this, I personally believe I am not 'alone' which brings me to my next aspect.

-> Gods/deities and other entities exist (in what dimensions tho idk). You've probably seen some people in this community working with deities. I don't really believe there is a super strict hierarchy with them in the sense that they are 'above us'. They are just more aware of their self [their existence and abilities] and have a broader perspective than us with our limited 'human body awareness'... I wouldn't go so far and say that they have an omniscient perspective. In fact, they (or most of them I guess) usually seem to notice/see our emotions (based on our aura/energy I suppose), they can communicate with us in more abstract ways and perceive more dimensions than us BUT they for example can't read our thoughts/feeling specifically at least from what I've seen and heard. Let's be real though, you don't need to 'belief' or worship them just because they exist. Most of them don't really have a need for interacting 'with us or our world' but some do and reach out to us but it depends on a few aspects...what entity it is, who you are and often what their respective mood is at the moment lol and more. I know that especially in the Law of Assumption community they often ask something like 'You believe in other gods even though you claim to be the god or operant power of your own reality? How can these things even coexist??' and they often respond with something like 'You can believe whatever you want and what you believe(/assume) to be true will manifest.' - which is kinda true! We do have great abilities and we're able to "exclude" things out of 'our world' if we don't want them in our life!! We ARE the operant power of our own worlds but I believe there is still something 'outside' of it and you decide whether to let it in or not. I for example find spirit and deity work very interesting and I love reading about other people's experiences but I personally don't practice such work. I might maybe someday but I currently see no need to increase my responsibilities (because you shouldn't take it lightly!) and I also usually feel very anxious when I feel other energies/entities around me. On a side note, I think that many more deities/entities exist than we know of and that those we 'know of' are not really how humans have characterized them. Well, in general, human scriptures shouldn't be taken too seriously anyways...not only those of mythology but also religious scriptures because we know humans usually have a limited capacity of understanding certain things and usually have certain (personal) intentions while writing - and I don't even wanna think of the influence of the society/government and of the general attitude that prevailed in the respective time period these scriptures where written in. Anyways, back to the topic...

-> Each of us have their own consciousness but we are all intertwined somehow. It's what I believe but I'm not sure how to explain this one exactly. I said above that other entities exist out of "our own worlds" (- here I mean everything that is included in our consciousness) but you and me and other 'humans' have their 'own worlds' all on the same level/dimension which overlap partly... well 'overlap' is maybe not the correct word but I don't think it is possible to correctly visualise it in a 3D-model way anyway, if you know what I mean. Perhaps 'interconnected' fits better... these consciousness (pl) are so interconnected that it is hardly possible to see the lines between each of them which makes it seem like one big collective consciousness - which I personally think is where the law of consciousness (or what it respective name is... non-dualism?) potentially relates to/stems from. But I haven't done that much research on "non-dualism" yet. So this is - of course - just my humble opinion.

-> Some add-ons regarding my attitude : There are so many more things in this world I don't know about yet. To be honest, I'm super duper curious and greedy to know more (everything lol) but on the other hand, I also believe that rushing (receiving an overwhelming amount of information) makes no sense and is counterproductive in a way? I personally decided to give myself the necessary time to process the information I receive and the information I find out myself on the way. I mean I'm human, I have my emotions (duh) and my phases in life where I feel down. Why burden or overwhelm myself (and my lil human mind🤧)? But the journey for more knowledge makes life here a little more exciting too in my opinion. I'm not exactly sure if that is the right expression or just something weird from my mother tongue but we say that 'we sometimes need time to grow on certain ideas/information' which basically means that after some time has passed, you can grasp certain ideas more easily and react less emotionally to them and see them from a more distant and clear point of view. In addition to that, I have never been an 'absolute thinker' type of person anyway. I always try to be receptive to change. The state of my mind or my current opinion are not absolute or set in stone, more so they are ever-changing and growing. Being open is the best way to flow with life's motions in my opinion.

So, yeah. My answer turned out a bit long, though why does it still feel kinda wishy-washy? Oh man... shame on me. Anyways, to all the people who took the time to read through this till the end, thank you🤍. I don't know if this completely answers your question, anon, but feel free to ask follow-up questions! Bye bye!!☺️🍀

[snow-noodle]

Hi. It's the anon who made the ask about a lot of your Ninjago oc's element information here's some questions I have for your oc. Hopefully you don't mind me asking

1. When did Winter first appear?

2. When did she join the ninja?

3. Is Wu her teacher?

4. When did she unlock her True Potential?

5. Is she dating anybody?

6. What is her sexuality and gender?

7. What is her relationships like with the other ninja?

8. What is her relationships with her family?

9. Was she thought to be dead like Zane, Cole, Kai, and Jay, in Hunted?

10. If not how did she deal with their "deaths?"

Thank you for answering all of my questions!

I honestly don't mind at all you are more than welcome to ask more if you get more questions. Her name is Winter Quartz and I've had her since I was a teen I'm now just redesigning and reworking her. She use to be Floral but I had originally wanted her to be Crystal in which I made her now.

1. Winter first appears a bit after S1 Ep6: The Snake King. She was on a self discovery journey from when Wu started training the first 4 ninja.

2. She joins almost as soon as she returned yet took her time to learn and understand the team before fully joining. She needed to adjust to the suddenly loud setting she was thrown into on her return.

3. Wu is the one to teach her Spinjutzu and to be a ninja while her father is the one to teach her how to use her element. She technically has two teachers.

4. First I'll go into what held her back from her potential: She believes that she needs to be perfect not realizing to be perfect she needs to accept that she is imperfect which is completely natural as nothing is truly "perfect".

Winter unlocks her potential via her sudden realization that no one is perfect during the episode All of Nothing and is the last to unlock her potential.

5. Dating wise she would probably be dating but who she would be dating I don't know. She has retried the perfect match console when it was released tho didn't trust the output.

6. Demisexual, Panromantic and Female

7. She likes the other ninja and is closer to some over the others.

Lloyd- She is very close to him usually there to support and understand him being his rock at times. She likes being around him and feels bad that he was forced to grow up faster than anyone should. She had gifted him a crystal explaining its spiritual meaning in hopes it helps him. Cole- They had originally bonded over the fact that she is talented in cooking and baking. He is her Taste tester for any new recipes she's trying but he's not helpful in opinions. Once she learned of the Royal Blacksmiths, She loves teasing him and tries to get him to sing and or dance. Kai- He can be way too much for her at times and it the main one making her have to take a step back from the chaos. She not a fan of his hotheaded and impulsive nature but does respect him. She does enjoy seeing how much he cares about his sister and understands he is a good person just sometimes he's a bit much. Jay- Her and him tend to bounce off each other with energy and jokes yet she feels that sometimes he gets annoying to a point. This could be because of their similar personalities but to be honest its a sibling dynamic between the two for the most part from teasing to fighting. Zane- He is one of the few she feels comfortable around and the go to for peace if she doesn't want to be alone. She likes to talk to him to try and understand him better even if so emotions and voice tones are difficult for him. She does try to help him learn and understand but know there's a chance he just doesn't understand, Nya- She respects Nya with her stance of how she's viewed by others. There is some envy mostly because Winter had always wanted a sibling. She enjoys the girls talk they get to do when it was just them as the girls on the team. Its a whole girls empowering girls dynamic. Pixel- She's ok with Pixel. She not close nor does she dislike her. She like that Zane has Pixel and was excited in learning that her hunch that the new Samurai X was her. there's not too much to their relationship Arin- She's still warming up to him especially after everything in the merge. She enjoys his pies and empathizes with him in his lost. Sora- She can see that Sora has potential and that her doubt is holding her out. She helps Lloyd in Sora's training specifically seeing a part of her younger self in Sora Wyldfyre- She's not too fond of Wyldfyre especially when she's so much like Kai. She's trying her best to get along with her but its gonna take more time for her to do so.

8. Winter is very close to her father as he was the one to have raised and taken care of her her whole life he's the reason for why she knows anything about her mother who had died during birth. She was named in honor of her mother.

9. Yeah. This might change

10. She was thought to be dead but if i change this she would be depressed they where her friends and family and causes her to struggle regaining her control of her elemental power because she can't focus.

I am more than happy to answer anymore questions about Winter.

[iruiji]

I'm Isekai'd as a Fungus but at least I'm a Kick-ass Healer

BAHAHAHHAHAHAA-

Guys, I HAD TO DO IT. After the Fungi Event I can’t just sit here and not write this. Also, this is pretty similar to the Seelie AU someone already did before so.. ‘m sorry this is not an update to the impostor AU but huehue i’ll get back to it. 

For reference, the events on this story are placed right before the Fabulous Fungus Frenzy, and like in the event, they can heal, but just a little. Like they can heal minor bruises or cuts but that’s about it.

Not beta-ed, just minor edits. Don't mind if I keep switching tenses I've always had that problem T.T

So here you are, minding your own business, trying to go home as usual. Earlier during the day, your boss was in a good mood, so your team got to eat outside, which is rare, so it was greatly appreciated. The whole day was as peaceful as it can get, with everyone in high spirits as the new product your company introduce was overwhelmingly well-received by the customers.

With a bit of hop in your steps, you stopped in front of a pedestrian crossing, humming to yourself as you listen to a jovial song from your earphones.

“Watch out!”

The voice, a man you thought, was just full of panic that you immediately look up from your phone to see what was wrong-

A kid was running towards you, seemingly clueless about the danger he was in.

Looking back, you can’t help but think that your normally strict Supervisor who always insists to add an hour of overtime everyday, may have been wrong to send you and your teammates on time at this day.

But then again, you thought as you lay down the cold hard ground and a kid crying his heart out, fate does work in mysterious ways.

You wanted to comfort the kid, truly, but you can’t move any muscle and it feels like everything is so heavy. At least the kid seems okay.. yeah.. oh no.. he’s crying.. with what little energy you could muster at this point, you tried and pat the child’s head, staring a little bit at your bloodied hands.

Oh shit, you thought, almost hysterically. I’m dying..

The next time you open your eyes, it was dark.

...

But wait, aren’t you dead?!

You sprung up from the ground.. only to realize you’re floating. Huh? Huhhh???

Looking down at your arms, you almost had a a panic attack when you saw.. holy shit what are those?! Those aren’t human hands!!It looks familiar though.. wait.. something clicked at the back of your head.No way.

You frantically look around, and came across a wet puddle several meters away. Yeah, nope. Definitely not thinking how weird it is to move. Why am I so slow?!

And then you look at your reflection on the water and shrieked.

Aether/Lumine

The Traveler was doing their Daily Commissions, jumping up and down the mushrooms when a loud shriek broke out from somewhere and made them lose balance. Paimon, predictably, shrieks louder at the noise.

“Waaa!! What was that?! Paimon was surprised!!!”

With a little annoyed huff, the Traveler decided they’d just go back to this commission later, feet already bringing them towards the sound.

“Oi, where are you going?!” Paimon shrieks as she hurriedly hides herself at their back. “What if it’s a really scary monster?? Traveler, wait!!!”

They groaned as the pixie pulled their scarf back. Sighing, they tried to calm down their companion, explaining that they’re strong and better face it first than some random, unarmed civilian. Paimon reluctantly agrees and enters the more dense part of the Avidya Forest.

A whimper was the Traveler heard last before something barrels to their stomach, sending them sprawling down the ground.

Paimon’s scream could probably be heard back at Mondstadt.

“T-traveler! Are you okay? Aaa! I-it’s attacking you!!! Get up!!!!!!!”

Groaning, they look up to see a.. crying Fungus????

“Wait, Paimon, calm down.” they said as they try and cradle the little thing.

It was a Floating Hydro Fungus. But why is it.. crying? Wait, fungus can cry???

“Um.. you okay, little bud?” they ask hesitantly. Not knowing if the creature would be able to understand, they started patting its head to comfort them. Paimon was silent at the side, probably dumbfounded by the scene as well.

The fungus seemed to cry harder at the touch, and the Traveler exchanged a panicked glance at his companion. The pixie stared right back, before clearing her throat and stars patting the creature as well. “There, there.”

If you told the Traveler and Paimon that they’d be comforting a crying fungus during their adventure, they’d probably look at you blankly and then walk away. Sigh, but I guess Teyvat has its own laws, huh?

It took a few more minutes for the fungus to calm down, sniffling as it rest on the Travelers lap.

Paimon flew next to the creature and asks, "Um. Why are you crying?"

As if understanding the question, the fungus pointed to itself, before flapping it's arms as if annoyed - the small body floating up a little bit each flap. Soon it was almost past the Traveler's head while it continues grumbling and huffing.

The Traveler exchanged another side glance with Paimon, and they know they have the same thought: Cute.

Of all the places, of course fate just had to drop you into Teyvat.

It was scary, realizing not only you lost the ability to communicate properly, but also the fact that if some adventurer sees you, they might attack and kill you either out of boredom or necessity. Both outcomes would probably be death.

So you wailed, and then you heard footsteps after a bit and you panicked-

But oh, it's the Traveler!!!

Your body was moving before you can even think, barreling towards them without so much as a pathetic sob. Dammit, why does the Traveler feel so warm- and then you cried even louder because there's hope! You can distantly hear Paimon losing her mind from the sidelines, but really, all you can feel is immense relief. It took another few minutes before they were able to relax completely around you, and the gratefulness and excitement because holy macaroni with cheese flaming balls, you're going to adventure with the Traveler! And Paimon!!!

Hence the start of your friendship with the two. At first, other people were vary of you. You understand, of course, for its not normal for a wild.. monster, as they call you, to act so friendly with people. But every time, you prove to be a loyal companion, and your friends cannot be more proud as eventually you became the infamous 'Healer Fungus' from the derogatory 'Traveler's Pet'.

Hell, even Tighnari recognized you as the 'cutest, pretty little helper'! And Cyno pet your head once! Alhaitham looked like he wants to slice you open though.. man that guy was scary.. he's lucky he's handsome.

Tighnari

The Traveler likes holding you in their arms once on a while, cooing how you're so cute and squishy. Paimon pinches your cheeks sometimes, too.

When in battle, Paimon always pulls you to the side with her because you're still not used to walking or floating fast. Damn this light body, you thought one time when you blocked an arrow for the Traveler, resulting a deep gash and a bawling Paimon.

You guys thought Tighnari's lecture was bad? You haven't heard the Traveler yet. That night you all slept together with the two hugging you tightly.

Speaking of, Tighnari's first meeting with you was.. interesting, to say the least.

He and Collei were patrolling around Ardravi Valley when they both stumbled upon you and the Traveler training. As you dodge to the side, your back hit something soft and you turned around to fluff.

The surprised look on Tighnari's face was laughable.

And then the jerk proceeded to snatch your feet and hold you upside down-

Umm?? Sir?

"Hm.."

Sir, don't.

Predictably, he starts shaking you, making you dizzy. You recall Traveler and Paimon panicking at the side, before you were put down the ground, face plopping first towards the dirt.

"Hiee!! Traveler, Fluffy's dead!!!"

Geez, calm down, Drama Queen.

Later on at Gandharva Ville, Traveler explained all about you to the fennec fox, while you and Collei mostly you try and bully Paimon into playing games.

He was very intrigued. A Fungus that isn't outright hostile? And can heal???

Hoo boy, was there a lot of experimentation.

Tighnari made you try everything - from healing a paper cut holy shit man don't hurt yourself like that! to curing fevers, poison again, STOP HURTING YOURSELF! to abrasions, burns, deep gashes and wounds.

The only thing he haven't made you try is probably reviving a dead person - but even that he knew you can't deal with, especially as various result show that you're good mostly for First-Aid.

Also, you can withstand the Withering, so sometimes he borrows you from the Traveler when taking a bigger one down.

As words spread about the Floating Hydro Fungus who can heal people, of course people were now like hounds trying to kidnap you or buy you from the Traveler - which was always met with a drawn sword and a yelling pixie.

Tighnari sets up a new rule to others to always escort you whenever you're in the forest, as desperate people do desperate measure not like he leaves you alone whenever you visit him and Collei in the first place.

He is F L U F F Y. As someone he believes to not abuse the privilege, he grants you permission most of the time to hug his tail or touch his ears NGH! and in turn he always gives you head pats and snacks. Sometimes he picks you up too!

Cue the panic when you almost melt at the gesture.

Collei really took a shining to you though, and now whenever she feels sick you come to her aid as much as you can. One time she was really sick, you cuddled the whole day and then you woke up with a brand new satchel containing loads of Pita Pocket specifically made for you, since you can't eat normal stuff.

Overall life in Gandharva Ville was peaceful.

Until one day someone successfully kidnapped you - and then you met the General Mahamatra.

Holy fuck I just vomited 1.4k words. You can bet your ass I already have Cyno and Alhaitham written in my head. BYE I'M USING MY WORK COMPUTER i don't own one LET'S HOPE I WON'T BE DEAD NEXT WEEK

[vukovich]

1. You don't have to answer this (obviously).

2. I'd drop into your DMs with this except we don't know each other outside of me bungling up a comment I made on one of your fics awhile ago and you firmly, but graciously, correcting me (as you should).

But I have to say this. All these anons trying to tell you to "do better" truly need to get off the internet or at least out of your ask box.

I saw the original post and OP had a good point. I even liked it and queued it up to rb. You, Vukovich, added to the conversation in a way that was also a good point; you're not worried and explained why in a way that makes perfect sense to me.

No one NEEDS to do better. We are who we are in this space. Isn't that part of the joy of fandom? To be unapologetically ourselves with all our interests? No one is performing a public service. Most people here are not publicly-known individuals. Fandom can be activism for/against (insert issue here), but it doesn't HAVE to be. Sure, it's great when you find your people, but assuming everyone agrees with everything is a a good way to ruin your experience.

Communities can be concerned about changes, but not every individual contributor has to agree on all points. Yes, even those with controversial takes (that are way more serious than someone not being worried about AI). I'm sure fandom is weaponized for much worse things.

And trying to use shame and guilt is not a usefool method to change behaviors. Furthermore, why are you trying to change an internet stranger's mind? What miserable wheel are you choosing to walking on?

Vuk, I'm sorry for ranting in your ask box. But if you post this: Anons, I'm saying this as kindly as I know how - You are solely responsible for cultivating your own space. If you feel so strongly you need to try to parent/tone police someone else because you think you know better, BLOCK THEM. Protect your energy for the things that are actually worth. I've yet to meet a troll who actually feels good about harassing people.

Welp, this is the only thing on Tumblr this week that made me cry. Anon, I genuinely have no idea who you are, which is probably good for you, because it would be a hell of a hug.

-- </soapbox>

(Dusts off the massive "community organization" section of her CV) --

If watching this Tumblr drama unfold intimidated you, this section is for you.

You should know that: 1. This was bullying. Let's call it what your school counselor would call it. Bullying. Punching down? Check. Recruiting others? Check. Repetitive, targeted behavior? Check.

2. The private support I received outnumbered the anon hatemail by roughly 10:1. I heard from people I worked with years ago, and it was so good to catch up. I did not lose any readers, subscribers, or Tumblr followers, at least not looking at the numbers.

3. When talking to the half-dozen or so creators I'm currently collaborating with, I mentioned in passing that they could drop me with no hard feelings. They laughed. No one even considered not working with me in the future.

--

In summary, the fandom is not a "community" any more than people who coexist in an apartment building. Strangers with huge followings on Tumblr are just noisy upstairs neighbors, but if you knock on enough doors, you will find your people.

The folks in this fandom you choose to work with, and who you show your writing to when it's tender and new, those people are your community. There is no trust fall quite like pouring your heart into a gdoc and sharing the link with someone.

When we find those people, we find solid ground. As writers and artists, we become bolder. We become more authentically ourselves. Our stories become so intrinsically us that nothing artificial could ever, ever hope to replace us.

</soapbox>

[likeafairytale]

"... Did you have friends before? Outside of your siblings? Because you say we're best friends, but what we have is a typical princess-servant relationship. I don't mind at all. Actually I quite like it. You're better than what I'm used to. But I feel like I owe you the truth and what we have isn't friendship." - Yasmeen to Calypso

The least we could say is that Calypso was taken aback by Yasmeen's words. Frowning, the princess stopped walking and turned around to look at Yasmeen, and it was visible that she did not quite understand what she was saying. Not that the mermaid was dumb, but she genuinely thought she was right when she was calling her servant her “best friend”.

For a few minutes, Calypso was thinking hard to Yasmeen's questions. Did she have friends? Of course, she had! Well... not really. Outside of Nathaniel, and Malachai, she could not name any other child she was playing with when she was younger, or even now. When Nathaniel was training with Malachai, she was alone, or with Blossom, who was... a tropical fish. Her only friend growing up, outside of her brothers, was a tropical fish, and now she was thinking of it, it was quite embarrassing that she had no children friends, but just a fish one, and this thought was enough to make her blush. Even her own sisters weren't close to her, which explained probably why Calypso had such a hard time to connect with any woman here at the Seelie Court.

❛... What do you mean, we're not friends? I thought we were...❜

❛Maybe in your mind we are. But friends are equals. We can't be friends if you never listen and always bring the subject back to yourself.❜

❛I do not do that!❜ Calypso almost yelled, not realizing that she was literally cutting short Yasmeen and, therefore, proving her right. ❛You make me sound like a spoiled, selfish brat, which I'm not!!❜

❛It's okay, really. I know you're used to people giving you all their attention and energy, and I know you used to believed they did it because they care, not because they feared your father. But that's not true. That's what the reality check is so brutal since you came in here.❜

❛How could you say that?...❜

❛Like I said, I like our relationship a lot. But I can't let you fool yourself with illusions again and let you call yourself my friend.❜

The little mermaid was out of words. She felt sad and almost crushed by her maid's words, maybe because it was, once again, a new reality check. She had too much of them since she was there, and she hated that. Not only that, but she did not know why everyone wanted to show her how much she was wrong, but this habit of people here was annoying as hell to her.

❛But we are friends! You eat with my brothers and I, and you call me by my name, which I'll never let a regular person do.❜

❛Really? Let's see... I know pretty much all of your important childhood memories, including what places you liked to run away to the most. I could rightfully name at least 75% of all the human items that are hidden if your secret cave, since you talk about them all the time. I know your favorite game you used to play with Nate and how sad you were when he had to go train with Kai and you weren't invited. I know you held on to every bit of details you had of Ursula and had this image in your head of how you'd meet her, and she'd be your perfect sister, and I know you've been heartbroken ever since you actually met her. I know about your time in the aquarium and how you dislike and try to hide your feelings for Aeron. I know you miss Nessie and the Caribbean Sea the most. What do you know about my life?❜

Calypso took a deep breath and was ready to answer but, once again, nothing came to her mind. She could not answer to Yasmeen. She realized that she truly was self-centred, and barely knew about Yasmeen's life. She did know things, obviously, but things that, maybe, she wished she did not know, and Yasmeen did not have to live either. Calypso felt tears coming to her eyes –which was happening so much lately, she felt as if being out of the sea means her wants to cry was more apparent. Taking a deep breath again, she clenched her fists, and it was obvious she was more angry than sad now.

❛You did not have to humiliate me this way.❜

❛This wasn't my intention. I was just stating point. The fact that you're now angry shows that I am right.❜

❛Well, this isn't my fault if you do not talk about you. This isn't my fault if I have to fill the gap in our conversation, because you do not talk to me about you!❜

❛Your majesty is right. I forget myself.❜ Yasmeen said with the most honourable tone she could have before curtseyed.

❛Stop don't do that! You know what, perhaps you're right, maybe we're not friends after all. Maybe I have mistaken our relationship I gave you too many liberties, and maybe I should stop.❜

❛If this is what you're thinking, then it will be.❜

❛... Maybe I should have another maid, so you'll be my friend for real without feeling obligated to be. Perhaps that's the solution we need... I don't know which one it is, for now, I just want you to leave me alone!❜

On those last words, Calypso, who was frustrated, turned around and walked straight to the lake she was headed previously, hoping to clear her mind and that Yasmeen did follow her wish to stay alone.

[sorcharavenlock]

24 trust issues

I wake up the next morning, Loki isn't in the kitchen. I have breakfast by myself, do the dishes and get dressed. Still, Loki hasn't floated up the stairs to get his breakfast which is unlike him.

I hesitate for a moment, then make my way into the basement.

"Loki? Are you okay?"

Loki is still in bed, his back towards me. He doesn't answer.

"Loki?" I ask again.

"Just go away, please." His voice sounds flat and dull.

I've never seen him this down before, he is normally so full of energy!

(Loki is bipolar. He has had a manic episode these past few days, but now he suffers from depression.)

I sit down on the side of the bed. I'm not going to leave him like this.

"We will find a way to bring you back," I say, wondering if that is what is worrying him. "Maybe we should try and contact Thor..."

"Please don't," Loki's voice is still oddly flat.

"But he has contacts we don't have! He knows people who are powerful, who might be able to help! He has access to space travel! It would give us so many more options!" I argue. "and he misses you, I'm sure of it! When he thought you had died after the Dark Elf attack, he spoke of you so often in interviews, about how you avenged your Mother and died a hero..."

Loki realises I won't leave him alone. Wearily, he sits up.

"Thor loves me when he thinks I'm dead. Not so much when I'm alive," Loki says bitterly. "Oh, certainly, he mourns me, right until I appear. Then I am suddenly a 'lying, scheming, greasy little weasel' again. Our bond was broken a long time ago. He made that very clear. He left me behind in Sakaar. I had to find my own way back to Asgard."

"I'm so sorry," I say. "I didn't know that." I'm shocked Thor would do that to his own brother.

"Why are you so surprised? Thor is just like everyone else; only interested to further his own goals and glad to stab you in the back when you least expect it! The quicker you learn that lesson, the better."

"That is not true! I am sorry that Thor treated you that way, but not everyone is like that. You have me now, and Nea and Kitty. You have friends who have your back!"

"in my experience, friends are just as quick to turn their backs on you, the moment you make one mistake. I had known mine for centuries. But, oh, how quick they were to threaten to kill me! They practically formed a queue!"

"Everyone turned their back on me. Everyone lied. No one has ever been on my side." Loki sounds bitter.

Even the person I loved the most in the universe lied to me. She meant the world to me. She broke my heart. Everyone lies. Everyone turns their back on you eventually. I'll never trust anyone again."

I wondered who she was, she must have been special to him. I suppress a pang of jealousy.

"I'm sorry your girlfriend lied to you too, but.."

"Beg your pardon?" Loki asks in confusion.

"Your girlfriend? The one who broke your heart..." I'm confused too.

"I was talking about my Mother," Loki explains.

Oh...I know that is just as sad, but I can feel my heart soar! At least there wasn't a girlfriend!

Emboldened, I put my arm around him. He is so sad and heartbroken, and I just want to hold him, hug it all better.

"Well, I can't promise I'll never lie. Everyone tells little white lies sometimes, me too," I say honestly. "But I'll never lie about the big things. and I'll never turn my back on you."

For a moment, Loki leans into the hug.

I wonder if now would be a good time to kiss him.

Luckily, before I can make a mistake, Loki stands up.

"I wish I could believe you, I truly do." I wish I could trust you."

I watch as Loki sadly floats away.

It is becoming more and more clear to me how deeply hurt Loki has been by those he loved and trusted. it will take a while, but maybe just by being there for him and loving him without any strings attached, I can help him heal...

(Loki and Marianna are now soulmates. Loki feels deeply connected to her, which is probably why he opened up a bit.

Loki still has trust issues though! It is going to take some time before their relationship can move forward it seems)

[remyfire]

It definitely is! I always love some AUs, but I have so much trouble coming up with them for this show because so few things can match the energy of being at war together. The small space and the trauma and everything else combine to create some really interesting character dynamics, and they're so hard to replicate in a place with lower stakes or more space or just anything where one of the variables is changed. I have so much respect for someone who can write it well (and will definitely read that fic) and wish I could do the same! But hey, making things far more complicated than they need to be is the life of a writer 😂

I completely understand how you feel with the canoe ship though, I am the Queen of Canoes in a couple of my other fandoms 😂 I literally originated a ship tag for one on Ao3, so I'm right there with you on the tiny ships I would go to war for lmao. But yes BJ is so husband coded all the time! BJ Papa San showed it most explicitly, but even just the little things he does in camp are him trying to connect to the husband and father part of himself he left behind when he got sent over to Korea. He's a good person, but he also so genuinely enjoys that role, and it's so obvious to see if you're looking for it. We love a man that's respectful and kind 😤

Mulcahy is so interesting, and I look forward to that episode mentioned! Due to several literature and art classes over the course of my schooling I have become very good at using my Catholic upbringing to completely overanalyze Catholic media, and I am absolutely delighted to be able to pull it in here. It's clear that Mulcahy is genuinely kind and believes in goodness, and I think if he ever comes to the realization that religion isn't always the way to show that it'll tear him apart. He's devoted so much of his life to his religion (hell the man is named after three saints, he was practically BORN to be a priest) so anything that can dismantle that would hit him really hard. And unfortunately, I love throwing my favorite characters into difficult situations, so sorry in advance Father. I loved the glimpse into his head in Dear Sis, and I genuinely had to rewind a few times to watch Hawkeye talking to him over again. It's just so a u g h (affectionate)

I also just finished C*A*V*E and oh boy oh boy I could probably write half a novel on this already but I'll try to keep it short for now. The Hawkeye and Margaret connection! The deeper peek into who Hawkeye is as a person rather than just a doctor, and what actually makes him tick! Margaret sharing her own fears and offering to sit with him to make him feel better! BJ staying close to Hawkeye when he had to come check on his patient in the cave so Hawk knows he has someone safe nearby! Margaret and Hawkeye facing their fears together! Hawk playing a dumb little game with her in the OR to take her mind off things!! This episode is truly making me Feral oh my god, I don't think it will ever leave my brain, it's just gonna live there now.

It is SUCH a good show! I knew it was before but now that I'm actually watching it through I'm getting the full weight of it and god it's a masterpiece. You can talk about the cultural impact all day, but it's hard to truly understand w h y it had such an impact until you're watching it yourself and picking up on all these little intricacies. I've been keeping a list of good episodes for myself, just for Personal Reasons I can't really explain, and there are f a r too many episodes on that list already. So many are just so good, I want to remember them and rewatch them and frankly just roll around in them like a dog that's found a particularly nice patch of grass. This show already shaped me when I watched it with my parents when I was younger but genuinely I don't think I will be the same after watching it all the way through. Just, what a show.

Weeping. After reading this, I had to go check my Canoe status. In this fandom, I have originated 5 ship tags (Trap/Peg, BJ/Leo, BJ/Klinger, Margie/Klinger, Sam/Sid/Hawk) and I have been between the 2nd and 5th story in 10 more ship tags (Sid/Beej, Marg/Beej, Trap/Mulcahy, Trap/Margie, Hawk/Klinger, Marg/Beej/Hawk, Trap/Klinger, Sid/Beej/Hawk, Sid/Sam, BJ/Charles). Why did I do this to myself. It's a lonely life isn't it hfksdfds

But it also makes perfect sense that this fandom is ripe for rare ships because though they are in the center of a situation that demands order, there is very little sense of actual social order as they might experience back home. I think even if I wasn't The Way I Am with multishipping, I'd still be compelled to go, "Yeah, you know what, everything is pretty permissible here. The line between friendship and lover blurs often. There's not much demand for monogamy among denizens of this camp. They're seeking comfort and love where they can find it and they're all very good at giving it." It compels me idk

I'm really enjoying hearing your thoughts about Mulcahy!! I feel the same way about him as well, how he's ripe for a thunderbolt realization or two that his faith isn't going to be the Way and, in fact, is often dealing the damage in a lot of situations. I love you mentioning his three names, though. It immediately takes my mind right back to Trapper and his own long series of very Catholic names. Trap, I am putting you in a jar and staring very hard at you. Tell me your Catholic past. Did you really consider becoming a priest. Why didn't you and Mulcahy get more screen time together.

CAVE MY BELOVED. CAVE, my Margaret/Hawk/BJ thesis (yes, even in a platonic sense, I promise, no one come for me). I think the first time I heard BJ say, "Thank heavens none of us has to stand it alone," I had to pause and fold my hands and stare at the wall. The support all three of them give each other. BJ bringing a cup of comfort and it being passed to Margaret because Hawkeye knows she needs it too. It always makes me sad when people read that as a jealousy moment from BJ when he snuggles down just as close to her and isn't being snippy or annoyed at her presence. He cares them! He cares them both! And such a really lovely way for Hawk and Margaret to continue sinking into each other, to carve out even more level ground between them, ugh. I'm unwell about it. It's so delightful.

It really is so fascinating, returning to this show as adults, huh? It's a completely different experience. There's some grief there because we can still relate to so much of what they're talking or snipping or griping about in our modern, continuously-war-waging era, but also it's absolutely remarkable how timeless it has become. And being able to analyze it now with such depth due to the easy streaming access and the online fan communities, it's incredible. Chef's kiss.

[godslush]

This is going to sound contentious, but I’ve never enjoyed how social media has poisoned online friendships into being little more than “I’m spending all my time either complaining, or devouring an endless stream of the world’s consciousness across 5+ platforms, but I found this funny post that made me think of you for half a second, so I’m going to vomit it at your feet then go right back to gorging myself on a diet of 95% misery because that’s preferable to being in your presence.”

I know it’s just the RSD talking, and I’m guilty of it as well, but it’s more or less become an ubiquitous part of existing in an online space, and I hate it. Almost every seemingly-meaningful online friendship always seems to devolve into it; real communication being replaced by regurgitating material from feeds back and forth. Happy memories and dreams of a better future just get drowned in it, and it doesn’t make me want to be here. It makes me wish I could take a leaf out of [REDACTED]’s book and lobotomize my truly happy memories so I forget what it felt like to be happy because it’d make the pain of the present less pronounced by the contrast, and make fleeting moments of joy more meaningful before they're wiped from memory to stop goading me.

I get more life affirmation and positive reinforcement for existing and doing anything from my soul-crushing corporate retail job now than I do here online. My coworkers - who I only see at work and don’t connect with online because I don’t want to poison their image of me by seeing what a huge failure I am here - are the closest thing I have to reliable, supportive friends, who don't make promises that they have no intention of keeping just to shut me up, and always having an excuse ready to explain why they couldn't keep it. That’s really, really fucking sad.

It's fine. It's whatever. It's not like I haven't been in and out of the same ruts for 10+ years. The only difference is who I spend - or don't spend - the time in those ruts with. From the looks of it, nobody has the patience for it, and would rather leave me to crawl out of it myself with my own energy and assume I'd return to their side once I do. But if I do, I probably won't return. If people won't fight to keep me, I won't fight to stay. I only have enough energy to drag myself out of a rut, not crawl all the way back to the people who left me there in the first place.

This isn't the first time. But damn if it isn't getting closer and closer to being the last time... If only I could put into practice the things I learned from the consistent patterns of my experiences. Alas, the hopes that things will be better - or at least different in a slightly better-trending direction - will always win out, and lead to another round of disappointment when the pattern repeats.

I don't want to be alone. But in the end, that might be the safest option for me, and for anyone around me.

So if I don't come across as friendly, that's why.

I know more than anybody else that I am a difficult and high-maintenance person at my worst, and that I will always return to my worst; I'll only ever be a disappointment.

If you don't want to get your hands dirty digging me out of the dumpster, you're probably better off keeping your distance.

Don't give me hope if you can't follow through.