#I cant nap usually
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the most unfortunate thing about Neil josten is he likely just. fucking sits there on a plane.
no blanket, no pillow. he doesn't nap, he doesn't carry books because they don't fit in his little bad, he doesn't play on his phone or computer
he just sits and stares ominously at the back of the seat in front of him. the whole time.
#neil josten#he's so fucking weird#I HATE planes when my phone dies or I've finished my book#I cant nap usually#so like??? horrible times for the last thirty ish minutes#all for the game
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needing to sketch ivy and spite like i need water to survive
#art tag#doodles#ivy laidir#lucanis dellamorte#spite#spite dellamorte#rookanis#rook#what….. what is the the ship for the three of them… anyways#anyways . i have several visions and this is one of them. will likely do more#i just…. i think of them so much it kills me i cant .#spite gets forehead kisses and cuddles as it is mandatory Spite Time. when ivy visits#or when lucanis goes to see them. like is spite there most of the time? yeah but not always.#so you know .. any kiss from ivy is a good one <3 they have a very special bond#like to me spite is always there but theres a difference between fully here as in its in control versus sorta there but not fully in control#versus he’s chill quiet taking a nap . will say a thought or two. that sort of thing.#and usually when ivy and lucanis and kissing . yeah spites there. you will feel his love! the both of you.#in his very special way of showing it <3… AAH. im sick.
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i Hate being sick
#♡.gabi barks#hatehatehatehatehate Sickness and colds and being sick and#Eugh. i feel gross. i feel icky. i hate it.#the cocd is so bad guys. sososo bad. its awful#i just want to be normal and not sick and be on my phone#ill reply to asks soon but. i have been going through it#been deprived of my dogtime#calling it dogtime and not what I Call It bcs im possessive….#been deprived of dogtime and have had stuffy nose and been tryinf to ignore my cold by still doing my makeup wnd trying to Appear Normal#but i cant do it anymore 💔💔💔i slept So Much today#not even like. the Amount of sleep. just how many times i slept or took a nap#i think s because i Usually hibernate at the beginning of my cold so i can sleep through the fever and the worst of it#but. didnt want to bcs… dogtime..#and now its catching up to me…#literally hibernating and my sustenance is cough drops to soothe my throat#also. cant even sleep rn bcs s dark and i watched two scary movies n im a scaredy cat and i cant stop thinking of it#need my guard dog 💔💔💔 i feel ill#WHATEVER GOODNIGHT. sorry for yearning…. im sick u have to look past it…#goodnigjt i love u all#merry (late) christmas im sorry i didnt post anything butlike i said.. sick#just know i love every single one of u and i appreciate you all soso much and im happy u all enjoy my work and sometimes even enjoy#interacting with little ol me <3 love u guys im kissing you all rn
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why need an energy drink when I can just be fueled by the sheer excitement of a new companion??
#this mf#like my stomach has a swarm of bees in it#and i cant sleep even though its usually my nap time around this time#but instead I'm learning a whole new song#and doing hw at the same time#like I'm running on a high rn
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guys time for your daily oakley missing his boyfriend post
#shouting into the void#it’s interesting it’s not the usual missing him#it’s not as sad as usual#more of just i wanna take a nap on him and he’s away for a bit so i cant#which honestly is mostly true but replace nap with being super clingy#a companion in the void#mmmm eepy and i miss hmmmmm
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Chronic fatigue really is a bitch especially when you don't know why you have it. It could be from my meds, PCOS, a plethora of other things, but I feel like I waste half my day every day cause I need to lay down or I'm too tired to think. I need to sleep for 10 hours and it's never enough and it just feels like I'm wasting my time even though I can't do anything about it. Others with chronic fatigue how do you do it
#in greece right now for an artist residency and cant help but feel like im wasting half my time cause i cant get out of bed before noon#or if i do i have to take a nap later#chronic fatigue#chronic illness#rant#not my usual post but i am so tired (hah)
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someone took my night owlness from me
#☆— yapping#so sleepy and it's only 1 am#i've been sleepy all day today#more so than usual unfortunately#kept taking naps at like 9 am 10 am 11 am 2 pm#probably some other times too but yeah#i could not stay awake for the life of me#took a 20 minute nap that i just woke up from#and now idk what to do#raging headache all day today tho#worse than normalll#it truly feels like my head being pounded into the wall#i need to think of an answer for zevie too#very interesting question has me thinking hard#but my brain cant work rn#oh well that's what the weekends for anyways#gonna sleep for half the day yippeee#hopefully hopefully#maybe gn idk might pass out rn
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Getting ready for bed now. Ended up taking no nap. Realized that I have gotten about 4 hours of sleep over the past 58 hours. Which is not recommended.
Also realized upon taking them off that id been wearing my glasses for Most of the past 23 ish hours. Maybe closer to 22 hours (for shower and such). My ear kinda stung a lil when I took it off. Which made me realize how long I'd been wearing them but ALSO the fact that they HAVENT been hurting my ears in daily wear. For a while there, wearing them for too long would make my ears Hurt. Hell, I literally ended up getting scabs on my nose where they rested. But it seems like my body has been adjusting to them... it is accepting that we are a glasses wearer now... this is a marvelous realization
#speculation nation#and now im up in bed and im hanging out with june. who im still kind of mad at for clawing my thumb so bad this morning#(like SORRY i had to move u from my bed!!! instead of my normal tactic of annoying u so much u move urself. i didnt have the TIME!!)#at the same time tho she laid on my stomach for like half an hour while i was trying (and failing) to take a nap last night#which she almost never does. neither of them like sitting on me usually. so it felt...very special.#baby forgiven. also forgiven simply for being baby. June doesnt mean bad by it she's just easily startled & i moved her too quickly...#i was on the way to 20 mins late leaving for class tho i did NOT have the time to take it slow. sorry June.#(cant leave her on the bed when im not here bc the door stays shut so tally wont try to eat my plants when im not watching)#(usually i just smother June with love in the morning so she gets up by herself. Tally too. then i shut the door once theyre both out lol)#anyways i took a melatonin so hopefully TONIGHT after a day with no sleep and a day with half sleep i can actually sleep thru the night.#still mad that i laid down for 3.5 hours last night and couldnt sleep a wink. it was still rest but it could've been SLEEP!!!#whatever. 8 hours sleep here i come#(unfortunately not more than 8 hours bc i have to get up to do my readings. but 8 hours is still better than what ive Been getting lol)#(i'll... try to catch up on my sleep some more over the next few days...)#anyways goodnight 🫡
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i <3 naps theyre the best thing ever
#posting this because i usually cant nap#like my body wont let me sleep during the day#but since i pulled an all nighter last night i took a nap at 1 and woke up at 6#best 5 hrs ever
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hanging out in the kitchen to help out if needed so I'm writing replies but saving them to drafts til I get back to my computer to trim them!
soon...!
#out of blades#i may take a nap after a while too im so tired lol#or maybe i just need eye drops honestly half the time i cant even tell#but i thought j slept longer/better cause i put a blanket over my window to block out light#so i didnt wake up until like...3 hours after the usual first time i wake up jfjsjf#i don't even know jfjsjf i just wanna go back to bed#but i gotta get up halfway early tomorrow so... I'll probably just go to bed early 😞#blahhhrggg
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legs & lessons in perseverance | march '23
#so.#i fell into the fireplace lol#- thats the concise summary. but ive just been unwell health wise recently. i think ms is just harrowing to deal with#because you can go for so long symptom free and then one day you wake up and everything is wrong#your body feels wrong.#i remember being constantly angry at my body as though its a separate entity. especially when i was like 17/18.#because everytime i had a bad ms relapse i would literally breakdown in angry tears like- at my body. i was good to you. im meditating#im eating healthy. im exercising. ive been good to you.#but then suddenly you cant see or youre shaking uncontrollably or your limbs are numb#or my new favourite one: a couple of weeks ago i woke up at 4 am in a cold sweat. the inside of my thigh was burning#i dont mean like. exercise burning. i mean like struck a hot iron rod burning. it was obv nerve pain but that didnt stave off the panic#so i messaged my neurologist and hes like 'yeah its fine. wanna inject yourself?'#anyway. so recently i was helping my friend get his place houseparty ready and we were cleaning out the fire place#and my legs just gave out ����#and i got so angry and humiliated i kind of just wanted to go to bed and not wake up tbh#which is what i usually do but like. i was angry. angry. scorpio angry as lidya would say. so i had a nap in his bed#and when i woke up i felt slightly better and for once i thought 'im not going to let my body ruin this day for me'#and i just dragged him to the markets with me. and i still had the tremors but we bought more greens than either of us needed#and we laughed and walked and he carried me to the car at the end of the trip and it was one of the best days ive had in a long while tbh#and it feels impossible but sometimes all u need is to brush the ash from ur knees and hide the scruffs with stockings &maybe youll be ok#💚#tw chronic illness#/ multiple sclerosis
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I just want to go back to bed and forget about this cruel world.
#i only slept like 3 or 4 hours and was forced to come to the office meaning i cant nap between tasks#also im hating my job more than the usual so this is getting worse
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h
#ive been finally trying meds for my adhd and i think current one is working but#if im not super productive every day i feel bad#bc this is supposed to help#but idk what's a reasonable amount of productivity when it's finals and ive been rawdogging life up to this point#are the meds actually helping or am i just experiencing adhd stress response. who knows!!!#are they not working or am i burned out!! who knows!!!!!!!!!#i did just finish being extremely fucking stressed and working all day every day to stay caught up#so maybe i deserved to do fuck all this last weekend#but it feelsbad#idk im doing so much different from usual i cant tell if thats bc of the meds or if it wouldve gone like this anyway#man.#i feel like it's making me change plans unexpectedly more and it's fucking me up#or mahbe im just doing that#idk. ill see how i am after finals#there's too much to do and im way too small i wish i could just nap and read and play games for a bit#but my ps3 is still dead and i cant replace it until june or later probably#i have other games but i wanna play tales#and finish the sotc playthrough i was in the middle of#also i still have finals#;-;
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ugly
#hes my sisters cat but when she closes her bedroom door he comes in my room#screams at me for 7 minutes#than flops down on my bed like hes been hit by a car and takes a nap#he screams at me bc he wants me to open her door. but i cant do that bc shes sleeping usually
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Housemate who is usually so anal-retentive about stuff being orderly and put away uses a reusable razor that requires the purchase of old fashioned razor blades and he just... left them out of their package on the bathroom counter - like just the blades without any protective packaging- and like I'm sure it wasn't on purpose or with malevolent intent but it fucking FEELS malevolent and intentional
#he's been getting on my fucking nerves recently#he eats my food and drinks my wine completely without asking and is just a fucking pill to be around lately#he is also in the habit of barging into our room without knocking which he usually does while im taking a nap or sleeping#to see the cats ostensibly#which is fine! but also i am SLEEPINH#unfortunately he is also my bf's brother so i cant say anything
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said something pretty mean to my sister earlier but its so hard for me to care right now to be honest
#well like ok. so we share a room#i was nappinf after school (first day ive gone this week since ive been mourning too hard to leave the house)#and she was on her side having the stupidest fucking conversation with her boyfriend it woke me up#and her boyfriend is so terrible and manipulative and was doing his usual shit and i just couldn't so i was like#jesus christ can you shut the fuck up#and she was like “can you ever NOT be rude god!”#but its like. i cant really care. sorry.#im tired as hell from my horrible week and i barely fucking care#lucky strike#woops forgot to mention she stormed out of the room so i got to nap
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