#I cannot stand people who lack nuance

[dteamain]

Sorry, I know this was hours ago but I had a question regarding Hari. Did something happen recently with her and dream blogs cause i haven’t seen anything (grant it, I’m wasn’t looking either) I stopped following after her response to dreams twitlong, but wanted to make sure I wasn’t missing anything. Ain’t gonna lie, I’m a little nosy✨

So like I don’t know to in depth bc I to have stopped following long ago. But earlier today we were all reminiscing on dtblr pre-drituation and it was brought up how lots of the people who left were insane even before everything. Anyway hari was brought up in that list ofc and then the only thing I saw was a reblog from a fellow blogger of a post hari posted. The post in question was a fucking screenshot of an ask from that blog (THAT HAS HARI BLOCKED BTW) that hari was mentioned in. Like it was within hours of the ask being posted. It leaves such a gross taste in mouth that she claims to have moved on and claims that dtblr are the insane ones then turns around and snipes any fucking blog that dare bring up her wrong doings. she truly hasn’t changed.

anyway I hear other reports that she is completely misrepresenting what was said by us on her blog but I can’t confirm bc I couldn’t care less. I’m most definitely not stalking her blog like a pathetic loser unlike her🤭

[bimbolita]

I’m so glad everyone is having the same visceral reaction to episode 4 like I did. I thought I was being too sensitive but fucking no. It is painful. It is horrid. Knowing that this type of abuse actively happens to sex workers and those who are trafficked. It’s jarring because I didn’t expect to see this dark and explicit depiction in a cartoon that jokes about penises every 2 minutes. It’s like when light hearted coco melon shows start talking about death, it was just unexpected because I never took this show serious. I’m going to share more of my thoughts below! Trigger Warning: Mentions of SA ⚠️

I don’t think it’s my place to deny or confirm if the ‘poison’ scenes were fetishized, I personally believe it’s subjective. I know how I feel but I think no matter where you stand, you are right in your own way. Many things can be true at once. What we can all agree on, is that it was harsh. In a way, I hope the audience is able to understand how exploiting and non glamorous sex work is. There is nothing fun about having your body used multiple times a day by people you do not know and having said scenes recorded then plastered all over the media. Of course all forms of engaging in or creating adult content are different, I am specifically talking about sex workers who have no say or control over their bodies and finances. Like Angel. Let us put emphasis on WORK in sex work.

It is demanding. It is laborious It is scaring. Remember that and remember the unheard voices who must do this to simply survive.

There is a lot of criticism about angel’s personality and yes I agree it is annoying but you have to understand, it is a trauma response. Hypersexuality is a common trait among those who are sexually abused. Angel just outwardly expresses it all the time because it is all he knows. This thought process is the only way to tolerate his behavior. I say thought process because it is only an interpretation. It’s very obvious viv just adores writing sexed up characters with zero nuance or depth but let’s just pretend she can actually write male characters that think beyond their cock and balls. Let’s pretend that Angel Dust is a two dimensional character and not (grits teeth) fetish bait.

Now, let’s talk about Charlie. Alright great, she saw her friend being mistreated and was about to stand up to his abuser, ok good good. The victim (Angel) gets upset and wants her to leave because he was beaten. Yes, average response of someone who is an abusive relationship, he is afraid and wants to avoid more conflict between him and Val. The situation at hand couldn’t be more than obvious. How does Charlie respond? She cries. And not because she is frustratedly concerned for the safety of her friend. It is because he yelled and rejected all her poor attempts at helping. Charlie is weak as shit and I think that interaction was weirdly written. I wish she had the mental fortitude to understand how much danger Angel’s life was in at that moment. I cannot enjoy her ‘aggressive kindness’ cutie do no wrong baby girl type of character in a moment like that.

And I feel the same about Husk’s song. Out of all the responses you could’ve made, this is what made it to the final cut? Do better. I don’t care if I lack the mEdIa LiTeRaCy twitter keeps yapping about. It’s bad. You just showed a sexual assault montage and the rebuttal was basically “my uncle broke his neck tap dancing once :/“ lol we’re both losers and that’s ok, suck it up buttercup, I like you regardless. This was the best response to an SA victim? No degree in media literacy would ever help me think that was an acceptable response. I dunno about ya’ll but I major in common sense at the university of using my eyes and fucking ears. Now imagine, if that entire segment, when Husk and Angel are at the bar plus the musical number; imagine if all of that was placed BEFORE we see Angel and Val interact and then poison plays as the final song. It would be 10x more impactful because then the audience sees how deep and stuck Angel actually is. Trauma olympics is never acceptable but neither is trauma participation trophies. It is not right to make Husk’s issues be seen as the same as Angel’s issues. They are not the same and it is ok to acknowledge that Angel has it worst than Husk. It’d be more genuine if Husk were to just hug him in complete silence after dragging him out of the bar and have Angel tearfully embrace him back. The first non sexual and benevolent interaction between them. The first physical act of care with no ulterior motives of lust.

I grind my teeth at the wasted potential.

[furiousgoldfish]

When you're continually berated and punished for something, even something harmless or normal, it's going to feel like a 'wrong' thing to do, or to be. If your appearance is constantly insulted, it's going to feel like you 'look wrong', if your curiosity is being shut down and attacked, you'll start to perceive your own positive traits as bad, annoying and wrong.

Abusers especially love to punish any 'standing up to them', or 'questioning their intentions', and 'getting rightfully angry at them'. Or, god forbid 'attempt at creating boundaries'. Those will get shut down and punished very fast, and you will instead be 'corrected', and 'told how to think and how to act instead'. So you'll be told that the correct thing to do is to stay silent, not voice your thoughts, not talk back, repress and stuff down your anger and sense of justice indefinitely, don't believe you have any right to deny abusers anything they might want of you. And you always, always have to assume their intentions are what's best for you, for everybody, or at least, each and every of their actions has good reasons behind them.

I was trained to think like this as a child, and thought it was in fact, wrong to ever make a negative assumption about anyone's behaviour; this in fact will make them act bad! I thought the only correct way to behave was to defend and try to rationalize and understand any kind of disgusting behaviour. To the point where even when looking at the fictional characters, or people who had nothing to do with me, I would always attempt to see what had happened to those people and understand their motivationss for doing evil. I even mistakenly thought that this was some depth of character and a way to see nuance and good in everybody, I thought it was a positive trait of mine that I tried to understand everybody. It would later prove to be a vulnerability, since I  never extended the same grace to myself, and nor did anyone else.

Understanding why people do what they do makes sense if you're talking about friends, people who understand you back. It makes sense if you're trying to extend compassion for victims, trying to understand how they felt during what was done to them, and why they reacted in the way they did. It makes sense if you're trying to understand how the world works, and if you want to attempt to make changes. It even makes sense if you look at why abusers do what they do – but in that case, you can't look at their perspective for the answers. What they do is explained perfectly in what it accomplishes.

If constant berating, humiliating and shaming their victims accomplishes to ruin the victim's self esteem, being too scared to stand up to the abuser, struggling to socialize and ending up alone, isolated and more vulnerable to the abuse – then that's exactly what it accomplishes. If abuser's violence, threats, blackmail and manipulation hold the victim hostage, make the victim scared to run, scared to fight back, scared to disobey, scared to put the end to the abuse – thats what it accomplishes. If abusers control of victim's finances, appearance, social life, behaviour, activities and work gains the abuser the ability to control this person's life, and extract as much labour, catering, emotional care, and lack of a fight at violations and pain, that's exactly what it accomplishes!

A person's past doesn't come with instructions to hold someone hostage and hurt them indefinitely, no history will accidentally cause this. It cannot be explained by past experiences, because no past experiences get resolved by controlling another person to one's pleasure and benefit. Nobody is predisposed by their past to engage in intimate violation of another person's well being and integrity, hold it secret, and stop this person from defending themselves or running away. This is learned, calculated, purposeful, intentional and self-aware behaviour (or they wouldn't hide it, would they?).

Why they do what they do lies in what they get out of it. They wouldn't be doing it otherwise. You don't need their history to explain it, because the reasoning is very simple: they want to, they can, and they think they can get away with it. Difficult and painful past can cause a person to isolate themselves, to fear others, to struggle with emotions, trust, panic, triggers, to avoid situations where another thing like that could happen, to struggle with eating, to not be sure how to properly form bonds and connections, how to socialize, how to get close to people, or how to get separated when things get bad. But it doesn't cause a person to blatantly lie, fake, untruthfully promise and manipulate another to believe they're being loved, only to lure them into a hostage situation where they're not allowed to be a person anymore, not allowed to even voice what's happening to them. Nobody does this accidentally or because they 'don't know any better'. They do it with calculation because their intention is to exploit and harm for benefits. And that's not something to defend, in fact once you understand it, you know there is no possible defense in the world.

And to circle back to the beginning of this post, they shut down your curiosity because curiosity results in new knowledge, and any new information you get is a threat to them; curiosity is a powerful and desirable trait to have! Nothing was ever wrong with your appearance, they just prefer if you don't go outside and feel too ashamed of yourself to ever examine whatever is wrong with them; it's to keep you in shame and self doubt so you wouldn't notice how unworthy the abuser is of you. You standing up to others and fighting for what's right is not only a positive trait; it demands courage, integrity and personal strength to do that. And being suspicious when it comes to someone's intentions can save you mountains of trouble and abuse. You have every right to doubt what people are saying, every reason to notice if things are a little too convenient, little too unbelievable. It shows a clear mind and unclouded judgment - which, I can't judge you if you don't have, because I don't have it either.

People with good motivations don't need their actions defended, because the motivations are reflected in their acts, not their words. Anyone who needs you to defend them when they do evil, likely does not deserve it. Anyone who would have a problem with your appearance, curiosity, courage, strength, reasoning and distrust, could only have it because they don't like how you can see trough them, and fight them on their abuse. All of these traits should earn you respect and dignity.

[likealittleheartbeat]

hey there! can i ask you to elaborate on something?:)

when you reblogged the scene from 'the firebending masters' ep where aang and zuko are judged by the dragons, you said that "now they stand beside the person they thought had what they most longed for" in relation to their yin/yang dynamic.

i remember zuko's monologue in 'the siege of the north' about how aang is like azula and things come to him easy - something that zuko may feel jealous of and long for. but in what sense do you think zuko has what aang longs for the most, and does he acknowledge this?

Such a good question referencing this post and these tags:

First, I’d say that when I talk about longing here, it’s not conscious longing, it’s a deeper subconscious longing for that which will resolve their inner conflict but the character has not necessarily articulated it for themselves or even come to the conclusion themselves. @avatarsymbolism has a nice little post about zuko and aang’s wants and needs. And while I don’t agree whole-heartedly with the wants and needs they land on for the characters—Aang’s need to “mature and step into his role as Avatar” is clearly more nuanced since the Avatar state he masters at the end of season 2, as mentioned in the post, ends up getting him killed rather than serving as a narrative culmination—the framework of wants and needs with the initiator of a characters’ “lie,” which might be better understood as a character’s misunderstanding, is a nice way to discuss it. What I’m talking about with longing is their need.

Therefore, Zuko’s longing is not for the prodigiousness of Azula and Aang. That’s his want. What he needs is restraint, patience, and openness. What the framework of wants and needs hides, however, is something atla does incredibly well. The characters already possess and have demonstrated the features they need, just as an aspect of yin exists within Yang and vice versa. It resists the theory that desire is created by a lack. The problem is not in the characters’ ability but in their awareness of themselves and the bigger picture, the grand design. “Destiny? What would a boy know of destiny?” Jeong-Jeong asks in the episode that directly follows the Storm and the Blue Spirit which have paralleled and intertwined Aang and Zuko. “If a fish lives its whole life in this river, does he know the river’s destiny? No! Only that it runs on and on, out of his control. He may follow where it flows, but he cannot see the end. He cannot imagine the ocean.” The understanding Aang and Zuko reach in the dragon’s fire is their ocean. Zuko finally understands that his dogged pursuit of the avatar and his honor and all the failings to be self-disciplined towards the rules of his father’s court were related to his own values of restraint, patience, and openness to others’ lived experiences. He can finally see a vision of himself that is integrated rather than lacking.

Aang longs for an inner drive, a motivating force, a reason to live and, most importantly, to act decisively that belongs to him rather than the expectations of others for him. Zuko’s clarity on his desire for his honor provides such a stark contrast to Aang on this point. All Aang can manage to do is try to avoid and escape the mantle placed on him while barely even receiving a chance to consider self-determination. The lack of a motivating force is compounded by his survival of the genocide—why go on if no one remains who can understand you? why do anything if it can’t undo the loss?

He is teased by Bumi: “Typical airbender tactic: avoid and evade.” It haunts Aang’s arc as a criticism of his approach to life. He blames himself for running away and leaving his people to suffer the genocide without his protection. He is criticized for fooling around rather than being more direct in mastering the avatar state. He is told to stop thinking like an airbender by Toph in order to master earth—“there’s no different angle, no clever solution, no trickity-trick.” And then he doubles down on himself when he dies and feels that he’s abandoned the world again.

When he reawakens on the ship, we get another parallel to Zuko as Aang asserts a desire for honor, but the goal collapses into the stormy ocean with Aang before the end of the episode. Aang would like to be determined in the same clear way as Zuko, but he keeps having to face his inability to embody that the way Zuko does.

In “the firebending masters,” Aang finally starts to understand that his fleeting nature has an underlying motive. The nomads philosophies resisted the pressures of honor and productivity important to others in order to emphasize the illusion of separation, the potential for unexpected joy, and the inherent value of life. This openness is a drive itself, Aang realizes finally, though its action seems like inaction to others. All the dodging of attacks and duties Aang performed had a greater purpose to render freedom and reconnection, as if an invisible thread had been trailing behind him stringing all the places and peoples he met back together, across distances and even across death and time. He is finally allowed to find his own reason.

[the-martyrfication-of-the-matron]

Zenix’s little tangent in Episode 35… doesn’t entirely make sense. Or at least I don’t like parts of it and so I’m gonna bitch.

Tw I speak a little bit about abuse and cults at the end.

Zenix: “I’m sure garroth told you… didn’t he? How he found me? He must have… you were always his favorite. Isn’t it funny how he found me around the same time the old Lord was murdered?”

That’s just the beginning of it, of course.

But… Zenix saying this doesn’t really… fit.

SKs kill people in order to gain immortality (typically guards who kill their lords, but it’s established in episode 31, Criminal Brains, that it’s not only guards and not only lords). This is usually someone they knew in their human life, that’s just how it’s always been with SKs, that’s the whole… tragic romance of them. Whoever they dedicated their mortal life to will be the sacrifice to their immortal life.

Whether Zenix is saying he showed up in Phoenix drop shortly before or after he killed the lord is nothing to me, because either way, it’s clear they don’t have that bond. Even Azura states that Zenix swore himself to GARROTH. And the later established lore that sks have permanently red eyes after killing their person doesn’t even apply to Zenix in this case, because he had brown eyes the entire time we knew him, up until they clearly decided that he was the one who murdered the old lord and scrapped Vylad’s involvement.

Because up until this point… all evidence pointed to Vylad. From flashbacks of him standing outside of the old lord’s house with a flint and steel to Sasha basically outright saying it, everything has pointed at Vylad. And I’m not saying twists are a negative, red herrings are fun, but nothing good ever comes when you mix jesson and red herrings… clearly. So this was just… not a good twist. I’ve been keeping track of a lot of stuff and there just wasn’t enough for me to justify it as something pre-planned. But if someone else has another opinion I’m happy to hear.

This is something they do a lot with Zenix. Even with the original reveal that he was a bad guy, they retconned Brendan’s statement of events to make him look worse. They turned Zenix using him like a human body shield into Zenix going out of his way to hurt Brendan, though it didn’t need to be done. It just made him seem unnecessarily cruel.

And now they’ve retconned who killed the old lord to make Zenix look worse again. And I think this is because Jesson cannot cope with moral ambiguity.

Vylad and Zenix are the two most morally ambiguous characters up to this point. Zenix has an evil lean, no doubt, but a lot of his actions lack any known motivation, especially his kind actions, or moments when he does things that are objectively good but… we don’t know why, in order for us to actually understand his moral compass. Sure he is evil-aligned, but he is clearly not fully evil. He has shades of grey… and so does Vylad. Vylad clearly has a good lean, but we don’t know enough about him, and we know he is evil-aligned (he is shown to be peers with Gene and Sasha in earlier episodes) so it’s very… vague. Hazy. Morals? Questionable.

But then Jesson went— HOLD UP! Make Zenix explicitly bad by stating that he was the one to kill the old lord because he wanted immortality… and make Vylad explicitly good by stating that he was the one who hindered Zenix from killing more people.

It wss more interesting when Zenix was just some guy who did bad stuff and had an unknown backstory, and some people rooting for the good in him.

And when Vylad was spooky as fuck.

But that’s too much nuance, give a clear morality to the gay men.

Dont make SKs interesting by giving Zenix red eyes for attempting to kill the man he dedicated his life to! No! Don’t expand the lore by making it obvious that the reason that SKs have to kill their loved ones is to mirror cult/abuse tactics that distance the victims from any real support system they could have to escape! Dont give Zenix red eyes even though he failed at killing Garroth because the bond between them is irreparably damaged despite Garroth’s denial of it! Don’t do that! That’s too much nuance!

[crooked-wasteland]

Hazbin Hotel Live Blog: Masquerade

So, been a few and we pre-gamed for this one extra special. I will be transparent in that I have a personal history with SA and quid pro quo sexual abuse as well as physical and domestic abuse. My partner has warned me prior on the larger portions of the shock value Medrano uses, but we both are not really sure how I will react to this.

Amazon has added an explicit warning for sexual assault to the episode that was not previously there. So good on them for that.

The audio between Keith David and Blake Roman feels like they were done in different parts of the world.

Tell not show. Husk just says all the things.

Angel Dust is shrill. I’ve never described a human being as shrill, but this vocal performance is shrill and I wish he never spoke again.

WTF was that animation as Charlie kicks her legs.

Valentino could be such an interesting character, but he lacks any depth.

So Charlie is just an idiot.

Blake completely loses the Angel Dust voice. He’s not even in character and the only thing he has to act with is his voice. You have to stay in character to be a voice actor.

The whole scene in the dressing room lacks any weight. Everything is so sudden and contrived. Charlie fucks up the shoot so Valentino has an excuse to abuse Angel Dust and it’s so obvious where the direction of events are going that it isn’t even emotionally investing. And it’s a testament to the fact that I was a pilot fan and invested in where Medrano would take the show to now saying I just don’t care.

“Just don’t hurt her” Where was the inclination that would happened. Angel Dust going off on Charlie was actually well written, but the fact that it is supposed to be seen as insincere ruins it.

The song has the most graphic depiction of sexual abuse and yet the whole message is confused.

Angel Dust is sexually abused and proceeds to Sexually harass Husk.

So Charlie ruined his day, but let’s blame Husk.

Why are we supposed to believe Husk is judging Angel Dust? He’s an alcoholic.

Angel Dust is living in self harm with his promiscuity and drug abuse, and that isn’t supposed to be who he actually is, it’s supposed to be his persona` to get by, but that feels like we are getting a whole new character introduced 4 episodes in.

Loser Baby is the worst thing I have ever heard musically and lyrically.

I stand by what I said about Loser Baby. It completely lacks any depth or emotional processing. It’s just two people who are making excuses for themselves and saying “well, I’m not the only one.”

So this is the shortest list I have because so much of it cannot be bullet points. Animation wise it lacks weight. The characters being hurt doesn’t feel real it lacks the sense of gravity needed for the violence to feel mature. This is less intense than Tom and Jerry. On the other hand, Blake Roman’s vocal performance is awful. He can’t keep his voice in character when he tries to have any amount of emotion, but the vocal deliveries that at least are in his character range are on par with Whitey from 8 Crazy Nights. It is ear splitting. Aside from that, the transparency of how Medrano is obviously ticking boxes to get to the emotional beats she planned, actual nuance and depth be damned. I just don’t care about what is happening, which actually is the only reason this isn’t so triggering. This episode revels in sexual abuse fetishism and it is equally as defensive about it. The signs pointing at Angel Dust are repulsive and to then have it set against the backdrop of “You aren’t alone so why bother changing” is appalling. I stand by the statement that this is group therapy without the therapy. The whole idea behind the group therapy setting is that you can learn from others on how better to help yourself, but this online generation has seemed to think that the group part was what made the therapy effective. In reality it is very easy for a group setting to become a cesspool of covert narcissism.

On the other hand, I don’t get how anyone could have thought this was about abuse of any kind. Because the whole episode treats sexual abuse as a joke from the beginning to the end. The only time it is taken seriously, it is whiplash. Angel Dust telling Husk how he wishes to become so ruined and broken that his abuser wouldn’t want him anymore is so heavy and abruptly serious when every other moment of abuse is either so cartoonishly done like the dressing room, or is played as sexy or a joke. It is a joke in the script from how poorly written the pornos are (which its shown Angel doesn’t want to participate in, but it’s made to be comedic so that aspect fades real fast) to how unimportant it is that Angel is literally attempted to be drugged.

And Charlie has officially become the worst character. I didn’t even see Charlie as a character, it’s very obvious where Medrano sources her inspiration. Just like how Lute is Peridot, Charlie is just Harley Quinn, except she has none of the charm and all of the annoyance. Which goes back to what I said before.

I think the worst part is that I don’t care. I really just don’t care because the characters just don’t care, and even when they do, I don’t know them enough to invest in them emotionally. This is not at all on the series being 8 episodes, this is exactly how I feel watching Helluva Boss, whom Vivienne is making a season 3 for as we speak. So the limitations are not why this series is so painfully shallow, it’s a reflection of a creator who lacks depth as a human being. Who has no life experience to draw from to really empathize with the characters and craft around it an emotionally visceral narrative. This is someone who lives their life as a simulation, pressing the right buttons, making the right choices to get the predictable outcome. If you told me Vivienne Medrano was actually a prototype android AI, I would believe you. This is how a computer thinks humans feel, even the abrupt changes in emotion is simulation of an AI program. Things move unnaturally fast in a computer, hours are like years in terms of social media. So I don’t think anyone is surprised that this feels like a script written and directed by ChatGPT.

This episode I didn’t find triggering. The episode itself does not affect me. What does trigger me is knowing the kind of person needed to make an episode like this in the first place. I don’t think anyone should necessarily be banned from telling any sort of story, but the byproduct of a machine and internet algorithms should never be allowed to tell human stories.

-20/10

[brunhielda]

As I am unable to indulge in my yearly Independence Day tradition this year, I instead reccomend it to total strangers on the internet.

(If you are reading this and it is not July 4th, USA, this is still a decent recommendation in general)

Watch 1776, the movie musical from 1972. (It is available on Amazon and Apple TV for less than $5, and is free with Hulu)

“Why?” I hear you ask, “would I watch that old thing when I have Hamilton?”

Firstly- I will not compare quality. The two shows are apples and oranges and the only thing they have in common is the subject matter being the Revolutionary period of the USA.

I will openly admit that Hamilton has much more dynamic staging/dancing, and there is simply no rap to be heard in 1776.

That said, reasons you absolutely SHOULD watch it:

1) You have already seen Hamilton. Presumably you have not seen 1776. It will be something new.

2) The line “Sit down John, you old f-!” from Hamilton is a reference to this musical, so you know Lin Manuel Miranda is a fan.

3) The main character, John Adams, is played by a much younger William Daniels. You may know him as “Mr. Feeny.” And yes. He is glorious.

4) You will enjoy such fun quips as-

“I have better things to do than stand around listening to Benjamin Franklin quote himself.”

“Hold on John- that was a new one!”

(Arguing with God)

“A simple plague of locusts I’d accept with some dispare. But no, you gave us Congress! Good God Sir, was that fair?”

“May my horse be turned to glue if I can’t deliver unto you a resolution on Independancy.”

(Said horse- a paid actor- turns around to bite him)

Jokes from old congressmen about being so old it hurts to piss.

Jokes about bull testicles.

(Refusing to help write the Declaration)

“I cannot write with any style or proper edicate! I don’t know a participle from a predicate! I am just a humble cobbler from Connecticut.” (He is so relatable for that. The whole song is one big- everyone is trying to ditch this “group” project)

5) Thomas Jefferson being too horny to work is a major plot point.

6) The most romantic subplot in this film, and I mean, actually beautifully romantic, is John arguing with his wife, Abigail, via letters. Best part about that is these parts are straight from their real historical letters. Perfect in every way. 🥰

7) The discussion on Slavery is intense. I will say this version of events paints Jefferson rather rosy, but it was written before we knew what we knew about him, and he is documented as fighting hard to end slavery with the founding of the nation. It is bizarre, knowing that, that he continued on in the manner he did. People are multifaceted, and some just get worse with age.

But the part in this movie that is worth watching is the argument the South gives back. Thier argument is basically “If we are sinning by this practice, then you are sinning with us, because you benefit.” While it is a lack luster argument to keep doing as you are doing, it does allow a nuanced understanding of privelege before the term was even used in that manner.

It also delivers a bone chilling example of the triangle trade in the form of a song that has haunted me since childhood.

“Molasses to rum to slaves. Who sails the ships out of Boston? Laden with bibles and rum? Whose fortunes are made in the triangle trade? Hail Charleston! Hail Boston! Who stinketh the most?”

8) “Cool Considerate Men” is also bone chilling, as a bunch of conservative congressmen dance calmly while listening to a casualty report from Washington. The song will never not be relevant.

9) In the same way, “Mama Look Sharp” will always always bring me to tears. It is a song from a Messenger Boy sent with Washington’s missive from the front. He sings about his friend calling for his mother as the young boy lay dying on “the green.”

The green was where people held meetings and parties and festivals- the green is the old fashioned version of “the Town Park.” The first battles for freedom were faught in town parks, where boys crawled off under thier favorite tree to die.

In light of everything that we have heard about fighting for freedom around the world, the line “The soldiers they fired! Oh Ma, did we run. Hey! Hey! Mama, look sharp,” is making me cry right now, and I haven’t even heard this song in a year. 😭🎶

10) “Is anybody there??? Does anybody care?! Does anybody see what I see? I see Americans, ALL Americans, FREE, forever more! Is anybody there??? Does anybody care?! Does anybody see what I see?”

The older I get the more I relate to John Addams screaming into the void because he simply cannot fix all the problems by himself.

There is more I could say about this musical, but at that point it would just be telling. Go watch the film. It’s funny and fun and poignant and powerful, and might make you cry. As good broadway often does.

[suzannahnatters]

I have finished watching MR SUNSHINE, and there was so much that I loved about this prestige kdrama. The writing of the heroine was SO good in how it discussed and defied some of the worse kdrama-heroine tropes. There was amazingly trenchant and deeply nuanced social criticism, gorgeous cinematography, lots of fascinating history, the warmest and most positive depiction of Christianity I've ever seen in a kdrama, men who drink respect women juice, the beautiful and angsty Gu Dong-Mae, FABULOUS period clothing, and rivals in love learning to put aside their differences in favour of shooting imperialists.

But the show has a major flaw - a flaw that was particularly interesting to me, because it's the precise sort of flaw that I would be most prone to. The screenwriter, who does such brilliant work in so many other ways, is clearly most fascinated by the themes and symbolism she keeps bubbling away in the story's subtext. The problem is that these themes and symbolism - which delightfully clever - are not actually supported by the storytelling, and particularly by the characterisation.

And it's a really fun, rich, resonant bit of symbolism: Ae-Sin is not just a character in the story, she's the living embodiment of Joseon Korea. She's beautiful, desirable, noble, privileged, gradually awakening to a life of hardship and struggle and resistance. Each of the three male leads in the story has a different complicated relationship with her. Eugene has run away from Korea, but returning as an adult cannot help falling in love with the land and the people in defiance of the nobility who mistreated him as a boy. Gu Dong-mae was horribly oppressed by his homeland but cannot help loving it anyway; the Korea which oppressed both men also saved their lives through small acts of kindness. And finally, Hee-Sung, Korea's richest son, is her approved betrothed, but past injustices committed by his family against the people Ae-Sin cares about stand between them. The three men fall in love, not with Ae-Sin, but with their homeland. They express their love for the woman by sacrificing themselves for the homeland; in dedicating themselves to her, they cannot help dedicating themselves to the fight for freedom.

This is why the story had to have a sad ending. None of these men can espouse the whole country; they can only die for her, while Ae-Sin - Korea itself - lives on, alone and victorious, even in exile.

This symbolism is itself delightfully rich, deftly painted, and rewarding to think back upon once you see it. There's only one problem: it doesn't. make. sense.

From the very start of the show, I felt a little impatient with the writing because the relationships between the heroine and her three suitors are so poorly developed. The feelings come out of nowhere. Take Gu Dong-Mae, for instance: he last met this woman when she saved his life as children. Now, it just takes a brush of her dress across his fingers to get him pining madly for her. Hee-Sung, after avoiding her for the best part of a decade, gets one glimpse of Ae-Sin at the washing-line and just like that conceives an undying passion for her. The central relationship, between Ae-Sin and Eugene, doesn't fare much better. The problem is that the story demands each of the male leads to sacrifice himself for Ae-Sin by the end of the show, and I simply couldn't understand why they should. They all have multiple other women pining for them, and Ae-Sin doesn't give two of them the slightest encouragement to hope. I wanted them so badly to find happiness with one of the other women, and they never did.

What MR SUNSHINE needed was not primarily rich and complex symbolism - it was believable characterisation and relationship development. As it was, the lack of substance to the relationships cheapened the grand historical tragedy which was being told. When at the climactic moment the last of the three leads sacrifices himself for the heroine, it felt cheesy and unintentionally funny, rather than tragic.

I loved so much about this story, but the heart of it never clicked for me, and it's a crying shame that with all that budget and talent, it wasn't better written. And that, for me, will be the central tragedy of MR SUNSHINE.

[godlesslittlecreatures]

Creature’s Petyr x Catelyn Masterlist, Part I

I've read it all...so you don't have to. 

I was delighted to get back on this app and find that there was demand for something like this. Even in the time since I started compiling this list, I've seen a few other lists going around, which makes my previously-closeted-PxC-shipper heart fucking sing. Y'all, I am not exaggerating when I say I very well may have read every single fic ever written for this pairing. That's both a fool's errand and impossibly easy considering the sheer lack of content, as I'm sure you know yourself if you're reading this post. 

I have stirred the dust at the very edges of the internet in my desperate, months-long search for quality content for this pairing. And believe me you, I'm no stranger to the disappointment of seeing something tagged "Petyr Baelish/Catelyn Tully Stark" (I encounter this issue more on AO3 than anywhere else, really), only for it either be an ancillary detail of the story, straight up nonconsensual, or an attempt by a butthurt ficwriter to punish two characters that so many people in the fandom seem to, at best, grievously misunderstand. Mistagging has caused me many an hour of eventual disappointment and cost me many a precious hour of my life that I will never get back.

But, even after wading chin-deep in all the shit this fandom has to offer, I have found gold. I'm here to prove it exists, if you only know where to look.

But Creature, what makes a fic good? How do you ascribe worth to something so subjective?

I've been told I'm a harsh critic, but this is less about literary merit than it is assessing quality as it pertains to the ship. Of course, many of these DO have some kind of literary merit, or, at least, are enjoyable to read. I grade a fic based on the following rubric, let's call it the Four Commandments of Petelyn Fic :

any acts of a sexual nature MUST - and I cannot stress this enough - be consensual. Do what you do, write what you write - I'm not here to police anyone's work. But don't put a pairing in the ship tag if anything that would earn it that slash between the characters' names is happening against either party's will. I simply will not read it. 

Petyr and Catelyn must have AT LEAST 2 face-to-face, one-on-one conversations. If you're going to use that damn slash, it doesn't have to be the principal element of the story, but it better feature in the foreground of the story, at least. It cannot just be a background detail that's mentioned once, off-handedly, at the end of a 63 chapter fic (true story, y'all). Better yet, it should have significant bearing on the plot, not unlike the way the relationship between the two does in canon - but that's a tall order, apparently. 

I alluded to this earlier. As an extensions of the first tenet - I do not want to feel the heat of the writer's hatred for the two characters through the story. So, SO often will people throw this pairing into some kind of canon divergent something or another and thrust them into each other's arms as a punishment for their Crimes in canon. Cat is Big Mean to Jon, so she gets the boot from Ned and ends up with Caricature of Petyr Who Lacks Any And All Nuance That Made The Character Interesting In The First Place to pay for Her Sins. I'm reading a fic because I like the characters, and I like the idea of them together (or, in many a case, him pining after her), not to stand beside someone on their moral high ground as they punish the two with each other. Again, not here to police anyone's work, so if you hate them both and want to take them to task by forcing them into some kind of relationship, be my guest! But don't expect to find your fic listed here. 

I have my own personal preferences (submissive Petyr, as I am not attracted to dominant men and genuinely don't think he would fill the dominant role in this relationship; I'll always prefer to read something requited, but that's even rarer a find; I'm not entirely crazy about AUs but can make exceptions, etc.) but I am trying to keep this as objective as possible. This list includes a pretty wide range of stuff, all of which I've enjoyed enough to reread at least once.

This may all seem like it goes without saying, but you'd be surprised. 

My credentials? A degree in TV and Film. I've read the books, and have studied the first three seasons of Thrones so closely that if I close my eyes I can watch full scenes in my head. I've been writing fic, fiction, television, and short films for 12 years, and reading and watching for nearly twice as long. And, most importantly, I'm a feral goblin who is batshit insane over these two. 

This list features fic from every corner of the internet - AO3, Tumblr, Live Journal. I unfortunately have been very hard-pressed to find anything that suits my fancy on FF.net, but if anybody has any recommendations (in line with the above), I intend for this list to be a living document.

And no, before anyone asks, I do NOT ship Petyr and Sansa. Respectfully, please keep that far the fuck away from me.

So, without further ado, here's a list of a very picky Petyr x Catelyn girlie's favorite fics.

An EXCELLENT starter kit. This is a three-part series that's currently updating. There are other things going on outside of them, but the relationship is essential to the story, thanks to the Cat POV chapters. This was the gateway drug for me way back when I still felt shame for shipping these two, and I love it still to this day. I love this series so much that, when I received the update notification for a particular Catelyn chapter in the middle of my college graduation, I dropped everything to read it. It moves fast, the political landscape is explored thoroughly, the divergence from canon is both plausible and interesting, and if you're not into smut, it's pretty fade-to-black.

Another one I read just after I'd taken the plunge down the rabbit hole. This is a notable exception to my general aversion to AUs - it works here, the real-world transpositions are not only believable, but clever! It features some pretty complex and subversive relationships between the characters; the PxC is certainly a critical, foreground element, but not always in the most immediately obvious way. Definitely had me Giggling and Kicking My Feet throughout. Refreshing is certainly a word. Obligatory smut advisory on this one, though.

Yes, I know, but hear me out. If you want to sample the best of the PxC wares the internet has to offer, you're gonna have to get down and dirty with Google's 'translate website' feature. This one is WORTH IT. I still tear up every time I read this. I have a particular soft spot for it because it reminds me of a short film I wrote/directed in college about my own experience with rejection and first love.

I believe this one is locked (meaning it requires an AO3 account to access), but making an account is both free and worth it. Yes, I know Winds is never coming out, but in my own delulu canon, this is it, this is the book. End series. Roll credits. 

Short as hell, you get the idea, but still fade-to-black if smut isn't your thing. It's hard to find good, dirty fic for this pairing. I do not currently have the mental bandwidth to be the change I wish to see in the world, but I will gladly support anyone with more patience than I.

Another locked one...oh no, I guess you'll just have to make an account.

Locked, again, but you know the drill. I believe it's by the same writer as the above. Always haunted by things that invoke Ewan McGregor's line in Moulin Rouge! - "thank you for curing me of my ridiculous obsession with love."

Not PWP but smut with themes, a favorite subgenre of mine.

Wholesome fluff to temper the fires of the above.

I think this may have been the very first one I ever read. Short and sweet, I revisit it pretty often.

Unfortunately, Tumblr only lets me add ten links at a time, so this is Part I of a multi-part series. I'll keep this post pinned at the top of my blog and add a link to succeeding parts in the comments.

I intend for this to be a living document - if you have any recommendations, my inbox is always open. Happy reading, my fellow PxC shippers :)

[shovson]

🔥 how do u feel about Logan Sargeant

uh oh

Send me a “ 🔥 “ for an unpopular opinion. (bonus points for a topic)

Okay. Gotta just say. Obviously some of the treatment Logan has gotten....been kiiinnndddaaa questionable. Even beyond the nuanced explanations about Australia this year and also all the rumours and speculation about everything within that team. I'm sure there's a lot that goes behind the decisions of JV but from an outside perspective....the emotional intelligence isn't really there. The fact I needed someone else to show me the James quote after the Carlos signing of him saying it was awesome of Logan to be on the team etc. etc...you know doesn't bode well. I feel like everyone has really said everything that needs to be said: really unfair treatment, thrust in too early into an F1 seat, etc. etc.

That being said. I cannot stand this woobification babygirlification he's just a sad puppy losing dog stuff any longer. Annoying as fuck. I feel there's kind of always been this narrative around him of his isolation which is just...I don't know man. I really have so much feelings about it I'm losing my mind a little but I never really understood this. There are so many other drivers with the same "foreign place, had to move and migrate to push my F1 career." Doesn't make it right. But I can't imagine being let's say Zhou or Checo in a similar situation.

Also there is (was, I guess now he's got a foot out the door) so much to talk about with the fact I've seen people try to co-opt social justice language to make him seem like his treatment is worse than it is is pissing me the hell off. Man oh, man.

In terms of fandom/fan reception, OBVIOUSLY can't control fans yk etc. etc. BUT i do think it does affect my perception of drivers sometimes. NGL I haven't looked in the James Vowles tag in so fucking long bc everyone thinks I want to read the haterism about JV and how he's mistreating Logie and how he should get his revenge on that middle aged man. And beyond that, I don't think the Alex heads who have probably more of a community around them don't want to fucking see the shit talking about their guy and would rather live in peace too (not to mention...wtf did alex do to deserve that huh? why are u in that space?). People can say this is just a general community thing but also...yeah I mean fucking seeing the same guy in the wrong fucking tag would make me insane too. Especially when ppl r like "look at how logan OWNS and alex is LAME AS FUCK -> #alex albon".

In my complex nuanced mind, I think it's easy to bring up the European treatment (loose) of American Racing (loose) as lame, lacking history or interest, basically dirty poor ppl shit. I think this is also part of why people are so protective about Logan. And while I do think this is such an ignorant take on Racing in the US (and America's presence in F1 period), I think ppl are really using this to dismiss the amount of privilege Logan has.

My ass getting tired you know I've ranted about this in DMs and also voice call but like...Logan got a chance. I hate that it didn't work out. But also, you know how many people don't get a chance? That's just the reality of the sport. And it sucks balls.

[nix-whythisfilm]

Long-Running Shows I Urge Everyone to Watch

Long-standing shows are known for their continuation of the story, it gives depth to all the nuances of characters and story that we can discover in the course of the story. With these shows having over 70 episodes, it is pretty sure to leave anyone with an impression.

The Mentalist (2008-2015)

This award-winning show was one of the classic shows with psychology being used in crime, and the protagonist here is a mentalist. A mentalist can be briefly described as a person with good knowledge of psychology, with other things like cold reading and general knowledge of people's behaviour and society. This show is family-friendly with minimal gore, a fair amount of violence and a running plot for seven seasons. The episodes moved in a fashion where they had active cases to solve in the CBI, but there was also a bigger case that was the big picture throughout the season. This show has a good pace and very rarely tires the audience.

This show is a personal favourite considering it was the first-ever series I ever watched nearly six years ago, it was engaging back then and is exactly that captivating even now. The main character was a con man initially but has now joined as a consultant for the CBI department investigating murders. The characters are all original and fairly do not fit into any stereotype. That makes it interesting because Patrick Jane, the protagonist, is constantly poking at them with his observations of them that they might not always be candid about. It actually gives a new outlook and perspective on people and the human mind through the course of this show. 

Merlin (2008-2012)

A curious perspective to the classic story of King Artur and the wizard Merlin, this series is extremely old-school and a genuine change of pace from the mainstream shows. The show is set in Old England with the characters just stepping into the world as youths and trying to find their place in the world. Being a relatively old show, the graphics of the fantasy elements are a little obvious, but otherwise, it is a good series for a family watch. The story moves slowly, each episode being moralistic in nature, till the plot moves into the details for much more of the structure of the myth.

It was slow at the start, which made me think it would be a tedious watch. But then, the show connected in a way that cannot be explained in simple sentences. The slow lives that are shown on screen, with a lack of technology and simple dreams of living, get alluring. While I didn't like the ending of the series it makes sense considering everything in the plotline. But then again, there is always a possibility of an alternative story. Merlin is light-hearted but also has the immense pressure of being the prophecy. Then there is Arthur, brought up with everything at his beck and call, despite having no real companion. What really made them a great pair in this show was that Arthur always stood by Merlin, and Merlin was the only one to call Arthur's bullshit.

Teen wolf (2011-2017)

A show that was heavily called out for the stereotypes and cliches it represented in the media, it knocked off all my close-minded expectations when I watched it. While the show is about teenagers who gain supernatural powers in high school, it also involves the stories of other characters who are more than just stereotypes and give an insight into a different scenario. The series is slow in the beginning and moves much faster after the first two seasons. It is mostly fantasy and romance drama, including bits of horror in the later seasons. It is an incisive and heartful show. Something that stood out in the series was the friendships, the decisions they had to make, and everything that felt homely old-school.

The series quickly became my favourite after I got attached to the characters. And I find everyone who watched the show does get attached to the characters. Another favourite thing about the show was how stupid they all were. Yes, stupid and petty. But it was what made it more authentic and believable because as much credit the adults might give teenagers, they are still kids learning the way of the ways of the world and their roles in it all. And this show spoke very well for most communities included in the show.

Suits (2011-2019)

Having heard so much of this show from everyone, I know the hype was well-maintained. The first episode blew me away and everything thrown into the show was like an experience in itself. A genius hustling boy and an experienced lawyer looking for growth in his business. Being one of the first shows on law and business that I watched, I still believe that it is one of the best of its kind. The show has incredible women in power and nuances of business that can be easily recognized and appreciated. The characters are all unique, and each case that the duo learn to handle feels like a lesson that anyone can learn.

Unconventionally, I watched the Korean adaptation of the show prior to watching the original show. While all the original fans judged me for it, I liked the order I watched it in. The adaptation has the actor blowing us away from the beginning, and the show also has a different arch for the romance. Another significant thing that the series stars is the Duchess of Sussex, Megan Markle. It is an insightful perspective into the world of lawyers, corporate and hustlers. And as such, the show might always stand as a standard for its calibre.

Game of Thrones (2011-2019)

Highly spoken, the game of thrones is based on the book series of the same name. The books are written by George RR Martin and are collectively called the Song of Ice and Fire. The show had raged across the internet and popular culture for over a decade, it is completely outlandish with its authenticity and the story it brought. While the setting is similar to the world of the Inheritance Cycle written by Cristopher Paolini, this show is much more raw and mature than the latter. Fans and critics have plenty to speak of in this series, but one thing that can be mentioned is the individuality and details that were given in each scene for every character in the tale.

This show was a rebellious genre for me, having been so restricted for its nudity and age restrictions. While the show does have ample nudity and sex scenes with more than enough violence and gore, I believe it was all pieces of the puzzle which would have seemed vacant if it were all left out. The nudity in this show invoked my way of seeing human bodies aesthetically rather than something so precarious and objectified. While there are all sorts of things included in the show, from incestuous relationships to betrayals and found families, this show won over the hearts of over eight million people for a reason. A reason that can only be found by experiencing this show of a lifetime.

The Vampire Diaries (2009-2017)

This show was a sensation when screened and is still running on numerous OTT platforms. It has vampires, witches, werewolves and more. Now, while it is common for this genre to be attractive to teenagers and horror enthusiasts, it can also be watched by anyone interested in drama, romance and fantasy. The show has elements that are more than just one genre by having spanned over that many years it also had an evolution of the characters. What initially started as a horror and fantasy teenage series went on to become a fantasy show that showed incredible stories that were more.

I was sceptical while starting the show, with the books that I read being extremely taxing and disappointing. But the show was many folds better than the book ever was. It does have questionable morals in the beginning, but nearly all the characters have turned out better than the written archetype of them. The show also evolved considering the trend each year and the maturity expected of the characters as they grew up. There are innumerable opinions on the show everywhere, but to be honest it is a good watch. Numerous audios are trending that are from this show, and truly the dialogues were exceptional. There are times it gets tedious with the drama and then there are times the show exceeds expectations to leave an effect on us.

The Originals (2013-2018)

This show is a continuation of the Vampire Diaries series and starts off with the story of a complicated family. Initially antagonists in the prequel, the Mikaelson family is over centuries old and vampires that have an enthralling history. This show unpacks more of their history and the impact they have on their community, along with the head member of the family being a unique type of a vampire. The protagonist is cunning and morally questionable throughout, which is what keeps the story gripping and outlandish. There are similar family tropes in The Vampire Diaries but what makes this different is that The Originals is set in New Orleans and is NOT a high school drama.

This show was wildly different to anything that I had ever watched before, and the protagonist was an art connoisseur. He spoke of the city and his favour for painting which really put a perspective on how I perceived both. They have shown parts of history that were affected by vampires and the supernatural which makes so much sense. Though the books written by E.J Smith do have the characters, the story does not have the same trajectory. Another thing that was emphasized repeatedly is how every family is complicated but sticks through thick and thin.

How to get away with murder (2014-2020)

Having finished this show just now, I can say it was as intense as any show I have ever come across. There was plenty of violence, gore, and sex, considering it is a crime show involving law students who work for a criminal lawyer. While the show seemed very flaky on the morality of their actions throughout, in hindsight, the show makes much more sense and connects all the possible dots without any plotholes. The show ended with a lot of emotions and a full of the journey of the characters, just as a friend mentioned.

The show was a lot considering it throws us headfirst into a murder in the first scene. It had a narration style that was addictive and mind-boggling at the same time. The characters started off flimsy with bare personalities that all seemed stereotypical. But as the plot enhanced, every individual grew into people that could not have been predicted. The violence and the gore are a little outrageous, but in the end, it all fits like an intricate puzzle. The show focuses on the lives of numerous women, with the protagonist being an ambitious older woman who also has a disastrous personal life. It also showed perspectives on people of colour and queer sexualities. It inherently normalised homosexual relationships and an outlook of how closeted people function.

[hexastitchimera]

I think I understand now why I'm honest to Stars nervous every time I interact with online communities like the animation meme one, the furry one, etc.

It's for the exact reason why I'm terrified of talking to former classmates who entered nursing school.

A huge majority of the vocal minority never left behind their grade school bully mentality. I'm not kidding, throwing insults, or even calling anyone childish. This is as big of a problem as it is in nursing, and it takes lives in the exact same way. I'll explain.

Having had family who were in the medical field, I have heard utter horror stories about one side of nursing. Not even in a medical malpractice sense. But how some of them can have the sweetest, "empath" mask on when they are around you, but will smear your name behind your back at the very least, try to get you disciplined/fired (especially if you're a "rival" nurse/student) at unfortunately common worst.

Now, because I am a firm believer in nuance, I have to state that for as many malpracticing nurses there are, there are just as many nurses who put their patients before their ego always. I myself have had several nurse family members who didn't have even the slightest infraction to their records, and retired late despite how their patients AND fellow MPs yearned for them to stay.

But, it has to be said: It only takes one to kill. One word, one intentional slip-up, one accidental pill too many. The side of the accuser only need speak, while the side of the victim has to frantically fight for their right to the role- to the life- they worked so hard for.

Why? Well, because it's easier to destroy the perceived enemy than it is to build your own self up. Destroying the competition has been a tale as old as time, and it can ALWAYS be for the pettiest of reasons.

If you want more of your supervisor's attention for better odds at better pay, intimidate and belittle nurses of your standing or lower so they're demotivated, demoralized, and struggling in comparison.

Hell, if you just don't like another nurse, watch their every move, and rat on the few, harmless, honest mistakes they made!

Who cares how many patients die, either because of a growing lack of nurses, or because of straight up nurse-on-nurse sabotage!

Do you see where I'm going with this?

Do you see how people can put the grandstanding of their own ego above entire LIVES?

The near-homeless artist whose callout you are mindlessly reblogging, what of their life?

The kinky trans woman?

The genderqueer person with neopronouns and "conflicting" labels?

The literal teenager who doesn't- and CANNOT- know better because of their horrifically bigoted family? Not without external guidance, of which they can only have through the online, and are immediately shunned from?

You all want an easy answer.

There are none here.

There never will be.

The only answer is to practice media literacy, to wait until both sides have come out with their sides of the story, and to understand a very rarely spoken of Golden Rule:

If it isn't hurting anyone nor contributing to harm period, mind your own business.

Otherwise, if still hard pressed:

What do YOU get out of ending the life of someone as they know it?

If it's the same sense of satisfaction a cop would get, I don't know what to tell you.

All I know is that you cannot, AND SHOULD NOT, be doing their "job" for them.

And if you do, wipe that ACAB off of your bio.

We do not use the weapons of the oppressor on our own. ESPECIALLY on our youth.

[transyurikatsuki]

Hello help my brain has a seven eleven hot dog machine and it's just got like 3 anders rolling around back and forth. Anders. Anders. Anders. He's so. I just can't stop thinking about this man who, really, the only thing he ever wanted was to get out of the circle and have others be free of it too. And then he finally did, after trying, like what was it seven times? And even if it wasn't what he really wanted to be doing, ya know there was at least this freedom in the grey wardens??And then. I'm unclear of what happens in the in-between there based on both the awakenings epilogue and what he tells us in the clinic. But like it falls apart and he ends up back in the fucking circle anyway. Even though he went thru all that shit to join the wardens. Even tho he fucking risked his life to save all those people.

And justice. I dunno. Clearly he goes through something and there's Justice who has only ever stood for goodness and Anders wants justice because god people shouldn't have to live like he did. I feel like there's got to be some sort of idealistic part to anders even early on bc when the warden squad was occuring it was already clear that justice had a pretty rigid and inflexible sense of justice. Cause as far as I know the spirits and demons both are representing only one emotion/idea and they can't really change from that? So he Even can disagree with the warden about what justice means/calls for in a situation, but every time he spoke up for me it really was always this idea that lacked forgiveness or nuance. And even when it's his own transgression (inhabiting a dead guy) he swears himself to this cause cause it's the best thing he can do to fix it. 

Well anyway I'm in the dumps because I can't stop thinking about what was the moment anders decided he wanted to invite justice into his body. What else happened to him after leaving to wardens.  And most importantly what was it like for him the first time he woke up and realized not only that Justice takes over completely but also that Justice has become vengeance. To want only one thing your whole life and have to look in the mirror and see the ugly truth of what you have become in service of that goal. Do you think he feels guilty? That his anger warped Justice? Do you think he wonders if he would have become this even without justice? Is this why he started the clinic in the city, because he can't stand the idea that he has destructive corrupting anger that is so ingrained in him that it changed his friend and kills potentially innocent people????? Or is he angry at justice for the times he takes over? Is it both? He surrounds himself with suffering every day just trying his hardest to make a difference for as many people as he can. 

Oh yeah and then he finally kinda had this person to live for and this thing to do and they took it from him? And he had to kill him himself? Oh god oh boy. He ran away from the circle in ferelden and now he's living in the shadow of a circle that somehow is way worse and everyone's telling him he's crazy but he's literally seen this templar dragging mages into the caves and turning them tranquil. And I just cannot stop thinking about how everyone's like oh yeah anders the unstable guy. Y'all you were THERE when his boyfriend begged to be killed!!!! Holy shit. Anders..

I know I'm in for it with this boy. None of this can possibly end well.

[starlsssankt]

RE: this gifset

Where do I even begin?

I mean, I'll preface this all with "yes, yes, atrocities committed and countless lives lost and he's a murderous immortal" blah blah blah. I know what the story is trying to say with this character, but bear with me, okay?

One of the things I love about villains/morally grey characters is the reasons behind why they do what they do. I need the nuances, I need the explanations, the whole "why why why" answered. I need to be able to get in their head and reasonably explain the thoughts behind what led to certain actions.

Which is why I cannot STAND it when some shows/books/etc. diminish those complex characters down to one-dimensional "Disney villains". But that's a rant for another day.

When it comes to the Darkling, I think this set shows really well (and it was one of the better scenes done in s2 of the show, let's be honest) how many times he's gone through the same old path, the same old fight, lost more people than anyone can remotely imagine...

I've always head-canoned, of course, that he tried to work "within" the system at first. He tried the peaceful approach, the "let's get more rights for Grisha, let's get them a safe place in society" by whispering in different ears of the nobility/royalty, by trying to orchestrate it as, I don't know, "legally" as he could.

Every single time, it didn't work. It either wasn't enough, or he didn't have the power to truly affect the change he wanted, or whatever the reason, he came to the conclusion that the only language those in current power would understand was VIOLENCE.

(To reference different real life things, you have it with every sort of marginalized group in history, every sort of revolution/rebellion/etc. There are those who work in the "peaceful" way and then those who are more "radical" about it. I firmly believe Aleksander started as the former and after so many (life)times, became the latter.)

The only other being that he knows that is enough like him that he doesn't really fear losing them, is his mother. Until such a point that Alina comes along and ...

Yeah. Another topic for another day.

But even then, ultimately, he does lose Baghra. And in that moment, he feels that overwhelming pressure of being utterly, truly alone. No one else bears what he does, no one else has seen what he has, has endured what he has--so how could they possibly understand?

Of course, after all those lifetimes, of seeing the same thing happening again and again and again-- He cracked, for lack of better words.

I mean, we see in Demon in the Wood how he was as a child, how Grisha lives in general were. Think of any marginalized group in history, and imagine being not only a part of that group, but marginalized even within that group.

That is what he and Baghra endured. Not only were they marginalized because they were Grisha (which dealt with enough prejudice on that fact alone), but they were shadow summoners, which marginalized them even from other Grisha. (Tack on the whole "he's an amplifier" and you get even more distance.)

So of course, after (who knows how many) lifetimes and decades and centuries, after losing friends and lovers and every single person he meets and knows (outside of Baghra) to (and I quote) "sickness, desperation, hate, and time", he's closed himself off from letting anyone in.

What's the point, when he'd just lose them? Why let himself feel anything for anyone else when they'd fall in one way or another, and he'd continue trudging onward...?

And there's the whole "reinvent yourself" aspect he names here, too. Because yes, think about it: He can't just continue in the same line. He has to become an entirely new person. Lies and half-truths that make up one identity after another... To never quite be known by the truth of who you are, to the point even your true name isn't what you're called?

What sort of mess does that do to a person's sense of self? Their identity? He clings to his name tattooed on his heart because he doesn't want to lose who he is-- and I don't even want to think of the mess his head ultimately is in, after doing all of this for literal centuries. (Dude needs major therapy but yeah...)

I mean, has he ever known a moment's peace? Because let's remember:

Grisha (marginalized)

Shadow Summoner (further marginalization within that)

Amplifier (secrets b/c lack of touch, assassination attempts, etc.)

Immortal (literally outlives every single other being save one and then ultimately even does that when Baghra dies)

All those facets of who he is, not a single one of them let him know peace. Prejudiced with some of them by others, literally hunted and killing attempts by others (amplifier)...

I mean, this guy was totally messed up from the get-go. (Again, dude needs major therapy.)

But yeah... ultimately, his intentions were right. And can we really blame him (completely) for shattering after all this? After a past like this? For finally saying "you know what, fuck it. they want a monster, i'll give them a monster to get the result" or whatever.

And I will now end (sort of) this rambling post with the fact that I don't think anyone could have acted the hell out of this character like Ben did. To put forth those nuances and give him depth that even the pages themselves sometimes lacked.

I've said it before and I'll say it one more time here: I love the Grishaverse for a lot of the potential it had. The avenues to really dig in and explore, the nuances and the motifs of light and dark and yin and yang...

I'd kill for some more of that... yeah...

Okay. I'll stop now.

(Sorry this got so long... Oops.)

[cwarscars-a]

🔥

Send me a “ 🔥 “ for an unpopular opinion.

i'ma shape this one around the final fantasy vii fandom and go off on my usual spiel ( or, old spiel? cause i haven't chatted it in a while lol ).

i honestly despise the lack of love that the side-characters get as a whole from the fandom. i really don't like what the remake did for the franchise ( i do love the remake, don't get me wrong, but i think it bought about some of the fandoms worst traits ), and i cannot stand the 'one rule for thee, another for me' mindset that fans have regarding characters.

let's start with numero uno - so, obviously i write heid. lol. he's not particularly liked & that's totally fine...but man. finding content for him is horrible. there's nothing. like, barely anything. the few fics that exist are either rape fics or are ( and i hate saying this ), sorely out of character. the art is few and far between and usually more bara-anime-oriented. overall, i feel like i'm drinking from a dried up well. actually, nah. there was no well in the first place.

i always understood that heid isn't exactly the character who would get much fanfare but it's so disheartening to shift through five million pics of 'x' character and find two of heid. i can't even draw ( or at least, im not at all confident in my art ) and yet i took to drawing heidegger all of the time because i had to start making content for him. and in doing so - my art gets no regonition and is totally ignored anywhere but here. i think if i drew a popular character, i'd maybe get more attention but...i can't bring myself to do so.

in general though; heid isn't the only one. even reeve is quite underrated and ignored by the fandom as a whole (or implied to be an owo cat boy which makes me cringe). even, dare i say, barret is often shoved aside in favour of the more 'popular' characters ( the whole tifa/cloud are now marlene's parents suggestion by some people enrages me, like, wtf? )

secondly, i don't like what the remake did for the fandom because i think it bought the worst out in the fans. it appealed to cloud/sephiroth shippers despite that ship making no sense. you could argue the sephiroth cloud sees is just an extension of himself. they're both essentially jenova. but the remake makes it overtly sexual / suggestive. even as i played, all i could think was 'yeah, this was done for fan service'. i don't even think sephiroth should have been seen in remake part 1. ( obviously that'd never happen ).

but whereas there are things i adore about the remake. i think that they dumbed down the story and by extension, made the worse aspects of fandom writers become apparent. like, by making AVALANCHE basically entirely innocent ( despite being literal terrorists ) - they make shinra ENTIRELY evil. in the og, shinra were weirdly nuanced. they were 'evil' sure, but then they were also genuinly trying to save the planet from sephiroth. as for AVALANCHE; yes, they were fighting on behalf of good. but they did murder people in their quest to shut down reactors. in the og, reeve even calls barret out on this. but...now we probably wont get that? like, way to go rid your main heroes of any nuance. god forbid a hero does something bad.

my final point cause goddamn is this getting long is - i despise the way that the fans talk about characters & the whole 'LOL i can ship this but if you ship that then lol stinky gross smelly ewww'.

i've always wanted to explore shinra/heid as a young men. like, really explore their relationship. potentially even one-sided ship them. i love the idea of it, it's interesting and i imagine their dynamic was similar to tseng/rufus. how many jokes have i seen about shipping them? tonnes. but it's not okay to diss any other ship. make a joke about tseng/rufus and ohhh noo, you fucked up, kiddo.

i've seen people imply heidegger is a pervert because he commented on sephiroth being good looking. literally suggesting he 'creeps' on sephiroth and people wholly agreeing like 'omG LoL YEs' - as if calling someone good looking is an alien thing to do or means immediately that you want to bang them (smh).

in general, i constantly see the fandom make jokes about certain characters & imply that if you ship them, like them etc - 'loool something wrong with uuu'. it's dumb as shit. don't be mean about other people's preferences when half of the fandom can't take being told that cloud shouldn't be shipped with whoever.

[forcedhesitation]

not the usual rant...

but I haven't been on twitter in a while, and all for the better really, I'm starting to accept. people will preach endlessly about how you can "curate" your experience, but I just do not think that is possible of twitter.

the practice of quote retweeting bigots/bigoted bait posts is way too common, even amongst people who genuinely have something intelligent to say in response and do not care for the engagement the qrt might bring them. I swear, it doesn't matter how many people I mute, block, or unfollow...there's always someone who's qrting some scummy shithead's terrible opinion. I really don't need to see you qrting a transphobe to know you do not stand with them... likewise, I think I can safely say that most people belonging to a marginalised and/or minority group would much rather you ignored those bigots' accounts entirely, and spent your time...oh idk...educating yourself, or directly supporting us and other peoples facing oppression.

then there's all the ignorant, and often wilful, misinterpreting of people's words...the complete lack of understanding some people have that, no, someone cannot fit an entire dissertation's worth of nuance into 200 or so characters of commentary. that, or someone will see a tweet of a partially expressed opinion and a (1/5) tacked on the end, and still only respond to that first tweet in the thread, completely ignoring the rest of the person's commentary because they were overcome with immeasurable lust at the mere opportunity to "dunk" on someone. not to get too personal, but I have a problem with understanding how sincere people are, and thus always feel as though I must make my own thoughts and intentions as clear as possible. and I feel as though being on twitter genuinely makes that problem worse for me. it's hard to tell if people are saying what they are because they care, because they want engagement, or because they are plainly an asshole.

and of course, seeing awful fandom related crap is also unavoidable because twitter has a terrible tagging system. the worst out of all the major social media sites, I'd argue. the algorithm hides posts with too many tags, so it's not necessarily possible for you to mute something upsetting or irritating, and avoid seeing those things. not that people would tag some of the things they post, anyway, because while a system to warn people of mature content exists, most users do not actually use that feature. this is a problem that obviously extends beyond just fandom, and that is where the real issue lies. regularly you will encounter videos of real life carnage, pornography, and the like, posted just...wherever! under a tweet announcing a celebrity's passing, under a piece of artwork, or through a qrt trying to "make a point." it's awful.

I hate the whole atmosphere of the site, there is so much of this...careless subjecting of others to cruelty, to violence, to bigotry...all for the sake of attention. people are so unbelievably rude to each other, because they've cultivated an echo chamber in which their negativity is being rewarded, and so they are driven to say just the nastiest things imaginable to total strangers. and this will be under the guise of "activism," or of "intellectual superiority," or simply because you tweeted something random about a character, or a musician, that you do not particularly care for. it's pure madness. I do not understand how people can willingly spend hours on that website.