#I can't write and I can't draw and I just feel sick with myself

[ananxiousgenz]

.

[trans-yllz]

I feel so sick and gross and miserable I want to cryyyyyy

[ravens-two]

PAC: How will 2025 be like

This reading includes:

the general energy of 2025 for you

advice and an affirmation for the year ahead

The extended reading includes:

relationships in 2025

career in 2025

moodboard for 2025

Disclaimer: this is just for entertainment purposes, and as a pick-a-card reading it may not resonate for everyone.

Edit// because I somehow messed up and copied the wrong title for this pac 😭😭

TIPS | BOOK A READING WITH ME | PATREON | LINKTREE | SUGGEST A PAC TOPIC

Pile 1

Queen of Wands, Chariot, High Priestess

Tend (maintenance, encouragement, guidance), Unicorn, The Flame

"I drive fast, wind in my hair/ I push you to the limits 'cause I just don't care" - burning desire by lana del rey

Pile 1 your 2025 is certainly fiery. You're done being afraid, you're done always feeling like you can't actually achieve what you want, like you're not good enough. Those times are over, because you're entering 2025 with the intent of actually shaking things up. This year you're going after what you want and it doesn't even matter if you want multiple things because you're moving in multiple directions all at once. It seems like you've finally managed to find a way to keep yourself organized (be it keeping a journal or just using your time in better ways) and that's what allows you to go after so many different things. But, it's always important to remember not to sign up for too many things, pile 1. In the end you're only human and you can't do everything. Choose more intentionally.

With your song of the year being Burning Desire and with you having both the Queen of Wands and the High Priestess you're going to be irresistible this year, pile 1. I'm not sure if this is a glow up appearance wise - like you could be trying a new skincare routine that helps to clear your skin, you might lose or gain weight - or you might be changing up your style, dressing in a way that feels more authentic to who you are, or it could simply be your attitude, you carrying yourself with more confidence and sensuality. No matter what it is, you're definitely magnetic. Other people can't look away from you.

I also see you being filled with energy to dedicate yourself to many things and projects. This might not apply for everyone (at least in the same way) but I also see a lot of creative energy here. This year you might finally want to dedicate yourself to your artistic pursuits/hobbies whatever they may be (drawing, painting, dancing, writing, journaling, knitting, whatever it is). I also see you pursuing knowledge, if that makes sense, you want to try out new things and get more general knowledge - maybe you're reading the classics, watching documentaries, going to concerts.

Another thing that's really getting my attention about this year ahead for you is that you have no fear. Like, absolutely no fear at all. You're willingly to try anything once. I feel like in the past you've always held yourself back (if you have prominent Pluto or Saturn placements this might be even more relevant), and you're just sick and tired of it. You want to free yourself and so you're going into this year with the mentality of trying things, of being brave despite the anxiety and the fear. I'm really proud of you, pile 1.

Your rune for the year is Dagaz. Dagaz is the rune of sunrise and it represents new beginnings. This just continues the theme of empowering yourself and conquering your fears. Dagaz is very much a rune of hope. The night might have been long and dark, but the sun always rises and this year the sun is rising for you. New things, new situations, new people are coming into your life and by the end of the year you'll be a much different person than you were at the beginning of the year. I also see a lot of healing for you this year.

Your affirmation for 2025 is "I love and accept myself". Once again I feel like this ties super well to everything we've talked so far, especially the glowing up and confidence part. By loving and accepting yourself with all your flaws and shortcomings you're helping yourself to grow into a beautiful butterfly.

check out the extended reading on Patreon

Pile 2

Fool, Six of Swords, Six of Pentacles

Oak Tree (power, courage, strength), Bee, The Box

"Well, what we really need is a femininomenon" - femininomenon by chappell roan

Pile 2, you're in for a brand new beginning this year, it almost feels like a reinvention. A bit similar to pile 1, you're also tired of the things that were wearing you down last year (maybe even before that) and you're releasing yourself from them this year. You're letting go of the things that no longer serve you, which is commendable, because it takes so much strength. I see that for some of you this might be about walking away from a relationship(s), from a job or even from a place. With the Fool and the Six of Swords here you could very well be moving homes or even countries. Honestly, the energy for you pile 2 is as if you've always lived inside a box, following strict rules and being a "good girl" [gender neutral] but now you're absolutely done with that. You've decided that it's time to see what's outside the box. What does the world look like without the binds and the comfort of the box? Actually, now that I think about it this could also be very relevant for anyone that's moving out of their parents' house for the first time. It's an experience that's both exhilarating, freeing and terrifying.

No matter what, you're very decided to face things head on. You'll take care of the problems and unexpected complications as they come up. You know you're strong enough to solve these problems, to finally be free. You're going to be your very own femininomenon this year.

This is a huge year of growth for you pile 2, even more than pile 1. I really feel like a lot of people who pick this pile are young people becoming independent for the first time.

Your rune for the year is Tiwaz. Tiwaz is a rune of victory and sacrifice. It's almost saying that you know that things will be hard, you know you're going to have to work hard, sometimes you'll want to give up, but at the end of the day it's worth it because you come out victorious. Honestly, a part of this victory is recognizing how strong and capable you actually are.

Your affirmation for 2025 is "I am in harmony". So, what this tells me is that 2025 might be a bit chaotic for you with these many changes happening so you'll need to find moments of calm and harmony, find a safe ground to touch down when things seem like they might sweep you away. On the other hand, this also feels like you can finally breathe after you finally release yourself from all these problems and restrictions that were weighting down on you so heavily.

check out the extended reading on Patreon

Pile 3

Six of Wands, Ten of Swords, Nine of Swords

Broom (energy, clearing, freshening), Swan, The King

(an instrumental song) - verdes anos by carlos paredes

Pile 3, your energy is very interesting. You're the only pile that got an instrumental song for their song of the year which immediately gave me a vibe of peace and not letting the problems disturb you. By the way, if you've never heard this song I would definitely recommend it - it's by a Portuguese guitar player and the title means Green Years (as in still being green/young). You know, I think that this is a year of giving yourself grace and being gentle with yourself. Not everything will be perfect or go exactly as you dreamed it would, and that's perfectly fine, because in the end you will be okay. I do get this sense that you're already in this mentality and that's where the peace comes from. You have a belief that despite how wrong or how hard things are now it's just inevitable that everything will be fine.

The energy in your tarot cards is nothing if not interesting. There's a lot of anxiety and a sense of loss almost with the Ten and Nine of Swords, but on the other hand you also have victory and recognition with the Six of Wands. For some you this might be referring to some situation where you're taken advantage of, someone steals your work, or maybe it could even be about cheating or a betrayal for some of you. But! But, in the end this thing will work in your favor, maybe your boss notices that your coworker has been taking credit for your work, or maybe you finally recognize that a relationship or friendship wasn't as healthy as you wished it was.

2025 will be a year of clearing energies for you. As much as the Ten of Swords is a betrayal and deep pain, it can also be about the ending of a painful situation (even if that ending might be painful as well). I will also say that after this situation ends and the pain ends, some anxiety might set in because you're not used to being in a good place. You might constantly be looking over your shoulder trying to see where the next bad thing is coming from.

All in all, I think that this year you should focus on taking things slowly and patiently. Don't ever think that something is the end of the world, because there will be a solution for everything. As it is a year of clearing energies you might find yourself losing people or things, remember that no matter how unhealthy those situations might have been it's perfectly normal and healthy to grieve those losses.

Your rune for the year is Gebo. Gebo means gift and it's a rune that talks about exchanging gifts and favors with other people. The Norse people saw it as a way of creating stronger bonds with others, so this year you're being called to ask for help from loved ones. Believe me, this helps your relationships grow and get stronger.

Your affirmation for 2025 is "Everything I need comes to me at the perfect time." Once again you have this idea of solutions (no matter how unexpected) coming when you need them most. This might be a difficult year for you, pile 3, but believe that in the end you'll look back and see how much you've grown and much better your life has gotten.

check out the extended reading on Patreon

Pile 4

Tower, Eight of Swords, Wheel of Fortune

Sage (wisdom, purification, harmony), Golden Egg, The Nectar

"Are we brutal hearts that break the night in two?/'Cause I just want this night with you" - use me (brutal hearts) by diplo

Pile 4 you have a very interesting energy because I got a lot of information just from the photo that represents your pile alone. It seems that summertime will be either the most significant part of the year (like a turning point happening for example) or the happiest part of the year for you. In general, I see a shift in your life, it's like suddenly the world is slightly tilted instead of being straight just like the horizon line isn't straight in your photo.

But let's get into your tarot. The Tower definitely supports this idea of a turning point and a shift in your life. With the Eight of Swords here too, to me it almost feels like you think that things are going to happen in a specific way but then something very unexpected happens and now suddenly your life is completely different. The only "specific" example I'm getting is of someone thinking that they're going to start university studying a specific degree in a specific place, but suddenly the results come out and you didn't get in. Maybe you got in a different place or in a different degree that ends up changing the plans you had until now. No matter what it is in specific, the idea is that suddenly your life isn't going according to plan. For some of you this might either be a big relief or a big disappointment (it will, of course, depend on your circumstances). But more importantly, you should know that this will be for the better. There was something "rotten" in your trajectory and this is like course correction.

Aside from that, I also think that this will be a very important year of self-discovery and healing from past patterns for you. Unlike the figure in the eight of swords that's blindfolded and incapable of seeing, you'll be able to see yourself better. It's like you're more self-aware, both of your flaws and your strengths. Be careful though not to pay too much attention to all your faults and shortcomings because that isn't healthy either and it will definitely hurt you in the long run. As always, moderation is the answer.

No matter what this is a very important year for you because there are a lot of things happening for you - maybe a lot of firsts.

Your rune of the year is Laguz. Laguz is a lake and in general is a rune connected to water. To me this is very funny because the sea is very prominent on the photo for your pile. Laguz though is a card that talks about healing and deep reflection - two things we already touched upon so it confirms their importance this year. But I like this healing side of Laguz for you because it shows that you're recovering from the things and the ailments that have been bothering you (for some of you these might even be physical). Laguz has a rune of water also represents going with the flow, being very fluid and flexible - these are probably very important qualities that you'll be called to embody this year.

Your affirmation for 2025 is "I am willing to change". Pile 4 this is almost funny how in sync your whole reading is (at least up until now). This is confirmation again that there are a lot of changes coming for you this year, but it's also a reminder to remain flexible. Don't get too attached to any outcome, things will work out as they should and you will be fine.

check out the extended reading on Patreon

[glossoholicc]

Gotta regret em' all!

(read bellow for more insight/comments about these!!)

Ouuggghh my GOD the universe did not want me to create these. I started Folly darkrai, then got sick with a nasty cold that I am still recovering from. THEN I get the most painful ear infection ever. The last image was made while I was in physical agony. I cried real tears.

Regardlessss... I really love Pokemon and Regretevator. My brain has been hardwired since the ripe ol' age of 4 to be obsessed with Pokemon. Every fandom I touch I think about trainer AUs or what Pokemon characters would be. So... this was inevitable. Everything I touch becomes Pokemon.

For those only following me for Regretevator, Roblox fandoms yanked me out of my Pokemon branding for everything. Which was good, i think. I used to represent myself with my fave mon, Maractus. Now I am my Roblox avatar. Ripe ol' age of 20 and all I do is roblock. amen.

I wanted to also write an extensive explanation for why EVERY character here is the Pokemon they are. Mostly because I know there will be people disagreeing with me (which is fine), but the goblin in my brain says "nooo people need to understand you 100% all the time". Sooo, here is a horrendously long essay about why I am objectively correct and you should trust me with all Pokemon related content ever (slash silly?). Does a lil' jigggggg.

(Basic Pokemon knowledge may be required to understand these things btw)

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Folly Darkrai

- Obvious reason Folly would be a darkrai is that darkrai represents nightmares. It can cause those its near to have terrible dreams, and its signature move is Dark Void which puts enemies to sleep. Pair this with its ability, Bad Dreams, any opponent on the field that is asleep will take continuous damage.

- Darkrai is also illusive, and feared. It holds a similar energy to Folly. That energy being big bad scary oooo ahh scary.

- Literally the exact same color scheme as Folly. Similar shape language as well (big claws, jagged black bits, big evil eyeball, and a collar)

- Darkrai are interpreted as evil by characters within Pokemon media, but it is canon that they cannot control the nightmare giving aura they have. They can give others nightmares unintentionally, and aren't blood thirsting or villainous by nature. I feel this is a good nod towards Folly being in a similar boat. She can't help the situation she is in, and wasn't born evil.

Design Notes:

- I LOOOVE DARKRAI AND I LOOOVE FOLLY. she needed to be a pokemon I adore.

- The sweater was awkward to add onto her... because darkrai's body is already supposed to be like. a scary cloth. and they are so bulky. but I think I did okay?

- The hat looks awkward but I didn't include it that would have been messed up.

- nothing cool to say about dreamer she is just cutesy and rounder shapes.

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Great One Xerneas

- Xerneas is a legendary Pokemon which represents life. It creates forests with its powers, and it can go into a "dormant" form where it is literally a white tree. Xerneas, and its counterpart, Yveltal, are not represented as inherently "good" or "evil". The whole deal with them is that life and death are a delicate balance that should be respected. I feel this was fitting because Great One is also a god, gave life to Folly, and became corrupt from jealously. Yeah I think that would disturb the natural balance of shit if the god of life got messed up.

- It is literally a big tree deer idk man.

Design Notes:

- I am sooo proud of this design... I think I cooked! Not much to say besides my friend said it looked like a old pokemon creepypasta and that is true.

- Xerneas is so fun to draw but antlers. suck. ewie.

- The drawing on the far right is inspired by that one screenshot.

- Hard to see but on the far right drawing I included the stomach wound. Didn't do it on the other fullbodies though because I forgot oops.

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MR Minior

- Minior is a meteor pokemon which has two forms. In its ability "Shields Down", where it has a rocky, outer shell that protects it until it's HP gets too low. Once it is weakened, it will change into its "Core Form". Which is basically a cute little guy. But MR Minior is trapped in its "Meteor Form". Meteors relate to MR because of the Happy Home Party floor where MR summons meteors yay.

- Minior are very pathetic pokemon, they fall from the stratosphere only to die on earth. I feel this is similar to MR in the way like. MR is dead and pathetic in its currently state. Compared to what it previously was anyways.

- Minior literally descends from the heavens. Something something word play MR dead god blagh blah.

Design Notes:

- Minior already had eye holes on its design, but I used the cracks throughout its body to make the forehead hole and mouth. I think it was done decently well!

- If MR did go into "Core Form" I imagine it would just be whatever Regretevator devs intend MR's living form to be.

- Minior is so cute and round. I think MR is kinda cute in a round plushie squishmallow kind of way.

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Pest Lokix

- Okay this one is purely based off of aesthetic but HEAR ME OUT.

- Lokix is a locust/grasshopper pokemon inspired by Kamen Rider, a japanese superhero franchise. Multiple characters in Kamen Rider have grasshopper/bug motifs. Pest is Japanese and also a bug. Ive connected the dots so good.

- Lokix is the first ever bug/dark type, and Pest would definitely being this typo combo.

- Idk guys just trust me okay

Design Notes:

- LOOOOK I KNOWWW. Pest is a beetle. Heracross is right there. BUT Heracross doesn't give PEST. Heracross is a round little blue guy and Pest is a weird little freak. Heracross doesn't hold the same intimidating aura as Lokix. And the other beetle pokemon, Rellor and Rabsca, are even further off the mark.

- I thought I was so clever having the antennae form mandible shapes.

- I love Lokix so much. Pest gets to be one of my faves as a treat.

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Poob Pikachu

- Pikachu is the mascot for Pokemon, and Poob is the mascot for Regretevator! In a way, Poob is in a lot of promotional regretevator material.

- Very similar color pallet and vibes. The vibes being "little guy".

- Something could be said for pikachu being an electric type. In the pokemon franchise, electric types are typically associated with being "wild" and "fun". Poob is electric! Personality wise. And Poob would totally hook themselves up to shit they shouldn't.

- Social butterfly, Poob gets their energy from parties. Just like how Pikachu is shown to be able to absorb electricity and shit.

- Just cute. Thats it. Cute marketable guy.

Design Notes:

- I really like what I did with the ears on this. I like them being droopy... because of the hat.

- Poob's goofy little face looks natural on a Pikachus face, I think. Awesome sauce.

- I made the tail tip a half star shape because A: Poob genderless B: Party hat has stars. For those who dont know, pikachu have different tail tip shapes based on gender. Poobs gender is party!

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Pilby Caterpie

- Guys do I need to explain this one.

- Caterpie is a caterpillar. A green one! Pilby is also a green caterpillar.

- Pilby and caterpie have eyes meant to cry. That one clip from the anime where caterpie has watery wet eyes is Pilby.

- Caterpie is a small little thing and Pilby is also a small little thang.

Design Notes:

- I made the little horn in the front the color of their hair because I didn't want to add even more clutter to the face.

- Headcanon that happy Pilby sways/wags their tail when happy. So caterpie pilby gets to wiggle their tail in happiness too.

- hungry hungry caterpillar.

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Mach Tinkaton

- Tinktaton is a pokemon that wields a massive hammer, and beats others to death with it. Its hammer weighs over 200 lbs in canon, and Mach would totally be able to lift that weight. If not more.

- Tinkaton is also an exclusively female pokemon. Mach is a woman. Shrugs.

- Not much to say!!!! Big woman big hammer.

Design Notes:

- I think I made her look UGLY. I don't know what I like about my design. I guess the pose on the fullbody is sick af.

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Infected Cubchoo

- I quite literally only did this for the aesthetic of the snot droplet. Thats it.

Design Notes:

- For some reason the regretevator wiki doesn't have a close up of the left side of Infecteds hat, only the right side. This made it difficult for me to draw the blue bunny.

- I contemplated adding hair at all. I decided to do so because Infected is one of the rare few haired characters. You can keep your hair. For now.

- I was contemplating Grafaiai as well, but I decided going the snot droplet route was better. But Grafaiai still works really well for Infected IMO.

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Bive Absol

- Absols can uhmm.. ughh. Predict future events such as Natural disasters with their powers. So I think she would do this but her future predicting shit sucks. And she is paranoid from Absol related intuition.

- That's basically the only reason I thought of, but Bive is a simple character in concept so thats okay.

Design Notes:

- Freak woman Bive I love you.

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That's all ty for reading I'm so tired goodnight

[skys-archive]

So people (including me) get reasonably upset when people are like "but aroace ppl can still date, it's a spectrum" in regards to aro/ace characters, typically as an excuse to ship and justify ignoring a character's aspec identity.

And there's obviously something to say about ignoring aspec character's identities as aspec. Yes aro/ace people can and many do date. But their identity does affect how and why they date and what exactly they feel. And this goes on a lot but a lot of people have explained this far better than I can even as an aspec person myself.

But I've also seen som aspec people lean so hard into the opposite that they'll say if you're aroace that no you can't date. Like I just saw a post where someone was like "the definition of aroace is not feeling romantic or sexual attraction so no they can't date" when in that case... yeah its a spectrum. Aroace is a spectrum.

There are aroace people who feel some romantic and/or sexual attraction. I'm aroace and I don't feel either but I am a partnering aroace. There are aroace people who simply feel they have a unique relationship with their sexual or romantic attraction. There is so so so many ways to be aroace.

And I guess I get it because we're so sick of hearing the "it's a spectrum!" excuse to draw sexual art and write smut of asexual characters who are clearly disinterested, when we want to come into the fandom and see representation. So it's tempting go the complete opposite in an attempt to get people to stop.

I don't know. I know guys it's really frustrating to see character tags full of romance and/or sex ESPECIALLY when the character is confirmed aro/ace. But it's also really invalidating to aro/ace people who DO partner if other aspec people are trying to stop it by saying that aroace people don't partner at all.

Just be kind yall please

[themunflower]

How We Got Here: Part Three

Kouign-Amann: "Hey. Are you still up?"

Capsaicin: "Yeah. I haven't been sleepin' too well since… Well, you know."

Kouign-Amann: "They're holding his funeral without his body present. They've been trying to figure out what the Hell happened to him, but it's hard to run any tests, because the only thing left of him is abnormally hard sugar. Everyone's stumped."

Capsaicin: "I kind of expected that. It's morbid to say, but… I don't think there's any way they could fit him in a coffin like that… "

Kouign-Amann: "Morbid, but you're right. The only thing they have figured out is that he was apparently suffering from the flu. He'd warned his teachers he was too sick to come to class for a while, his doctor confirmed he came in suspecting he might have the flu the day before that. He also had filled a prescription for a few extra-strength fever reducers."

Capsaicin: "Think it could have been the pills?"

Kouign-Amann: "Nope. That was the first thing they tested. The pills were ruled out."

Capsaicin: "Sucks that they can't really tell us anything else, since we don't know if this even was a freak accident. I've heard some whispers about campus police starting to suspect a really bizarre murder involving a sabotaged potion."

Kouign-Amann: "I saw a bunch of his potion ingredients were used up, but I don't think we should assume murder just yet. I mean… How would you even DO something like this?"

Capsaicin: "S'what I was thinking. Plus, his doors and windows were locked from the inside. Nearly all his food was gone. I get the feeling he knew something was wrong, just not HOW wrong…

Kouign-Amann: "… "

Capsaicin: "Are you okay?"

Kouign-Amann: "I'm sorry, I just… I don't like thinking about the possibility that he suffered something like… THAT… all alone. And the fact that the sugar was starting to disintegrate into the air like that… How long had it been? I… I'm gonna be honest, I've been having nightmares about what we saw…"

Capsaicin: "… "

Kouign-Amann: "Ah, S-sorry. Didn't mean to upset you. Well, more than we both already are. It's not helping that on top of everything else, I've felt off for the past couple of days. I think I might have actually worried myself sick."

Capsaicin: "Maybe take some time off? The headmaster here already offered me time away from classes."

Kouign-Amann: "Same here. I'm probably gonna take him up on the offer. I couldn't focus this morning during swordsmanship practice."

Capsaicin: "I can come stay with you if you need me to."

Kouign-Amann: "… I think I would appreciate that, yes."

Capsaicin: "I'll let the headmaster know where I'm going tomorrow. Right now, I think we both need some sleep."

Kouign-Amann: "I'll try, but no promises, haha… "

Capsaicin: "Good night, Kouign."

Kouign-Amann: "G'night."

.

...

... ...

... ... ...

... ... ... ... ...

They had no way of knowing what they were about to unleash on the world…

INTRODUCTION END.

----------

INTRO COMIC COMPLETE!

I'm gonna buy myself pizza, drinks, and breadsticks tonight to celebrate, HELL YEAH!

Also, another official announcement, since @magicalkaite20 has been helping me write the AU over on Discord, she's officially a co-author on this AU!

GOOD SWEET FUCK THIS WAS LONG… And the insane thing? The original draft was longer. But because I'm not a fan of permanent tendon damage and I go insane from stir-craziness if I can't get out on my bike at least a couple times a week, I revised my script a few times to get it to a do-able length. Yes, I actually wrote out a whole-ass script for all of this before I even started drawing.

This wound up being trickier than expected, because it's hard to make a convo between two characters over a video call NOT be visually boring. I tried, lol

Had to darken that last panel in Firealpaca because my scanner is ass and just LOVES to wash out my art when there's a lotta black. :( It also loves de-saturating the fuck out of artwork if there's multiple shades of one color. Good GOD I need to replace that…

Anyway, I'ma rest mah wrists for a day or two before I start drawing more for this AU. In the mean time, now would be the time to ask questions about it if you have 'em. Just a heads up, I might not be able to answer some questions fully or at all due to spoilers. I'll still answer to let you know you'll hafta wait on that.

[simplyalicee]

♡ Flowers and Laughter ♡

Nightstuck!Wally x GN!Reader

Inspired by a gorgeous drawing by @bunnyspine, AU by them as well!!

Just a lighthearted, fluffy fic <333 Enjoy neighbors!

I am writing this while sick HELPME

(Art by @bunnyspine <33 love you so much /p)

☆☆☆☆☆

"...for you."

Wally softly whispered, standing in front of you with a variety of flowers tied up together with a red ribbon. It was perfectly tied just for you with a note attached. His gaze was away from yours, but it was easy to tell that you meant a lot to him. As nervous as he was, he stood in front of you with a beautiful gift that left you in tears.

You reach out and take the sweet gift. The flowers smelt wonderful. You were fighting not to cry on the spot. Of all neighbors, you caught his attention. It made you feel special, a feeling you thought you'd never feel. And here you were, getting emotional with a beating heart. You glance at the note, which reads;

" I really think you're pretty, neighbor. So pretty that I can't stop thinking about you. You never make my heart still. It races with adoration because of you. I love you. "

Your emotions got the best of you. Tears trailed down your face. But you laughed. The air was filled with your laughter.

Your laughter.

Wally was caught off guard. He turned his head to you and saw you crying with laughter. He was confused. Did you find his confession funny? What was the deal? Unfortunately for him, your laughter was contagious, and Wally soon fell into a fit of laughter with you. You both laughed together for different reasons, but it was such a sweet moment. You clutch the flowers close to you.

The laughing continued for what felt like forever. The both of you soon calmed down, each of you collectively catching your breaths.

Wally wiped away the tear that dared to shed. "What was so funny, neighbor?" He asked, his tone filled with joy and worry.

You thought about telling him, but you had a better idea.

You gently placed the flowers and card on the ground. You took a few steps forward to Wally, smiling sweetly. Before he could say anything, you gently cup his cheek with one hand; the other tangling his hair with your fingers. Wally's face grew flushed. He smiled widely and giggled, leaning into your touch.

"Nothing, you just made me really happy," you whispered. "Because I love you, too." You lean in and press a soft kiss on Wally's forehead. A soft gasp escaped his lips, his eyes sparkling with love and adoration. You could've sworn you heard his heartbeat.

Wally became so overjoyed that he threw his arms around you, pulling you into a hug. He buried his face for one moment in your shoulder, kissing your cheek multiple times the next. His embrace slightly tightened, though, remained gentle.

"Neighbor, you have no idea how relieved I am to hear that. I love you so much," he whispered.

"I love you way more. I would've never thought you would love me back," you admitted, your arms wrapped around him with your hands in his hair.

"How could I not? You're perfect,"

That was the final string tugged. You looked at Wally for a moment before closing the gap between you two, pressing your lips against his. Wally was caught off guard for a moment but clung onto you as he kissed you back. He hummed from your fingers playing with his hair. In return, you felt his hands rub your back in a soothing rhythm. It was a sweet sensation neither of you were ready to let go. It was after a few moments that you both finally pulled away for air, the two of you gently panting but smiling like loving dorks.

Now doesn't that just make your day?

☆☆☆☆☆

OH MY GOD MY FIRST NIGHTSTUCK FANFIC LETS GOOOOOOOO

AHHH I HOPE I DID WALLY JUSTICE, THIS WAS SUCH A CUTE DRAWING THAT I JUST COULD NOT HELP MYSELF

[under-loch-n-key]

More Sherlock & Co doodles from my tablet. I thought doodling a wintry scene with some lights would be pretty. I am very sick right now, so I am not using my art tablet currently. Drawing with my fingers on a normal tablet is hard.

Watson has a moustache now. I doodled him with one the other day and now I can't see him without it. So, you lot will be seeing more of Watson with his moustache.

Here's the dialogue because my handwriting is shit. I normally write in cursive so I'm sorry for the bad print. ⬇️

John: Sherlock, look! Lights! "Sensory delight" isn't it?

Sherlock: Sensory delight indeed, Watson. 💙

(The lights aren't the only thing Sherlock thinks is a sensory delight. *Wink, wink, nudge, nudge* I'll see myself out..)

I am going to be drawing some Mariana art and the Sherlock & Co trio soon! I just need to see how I am feeling by then.

Shit, I forgot Sherlock's blush marks again. >:/

Aaa. Shh. Just pretend they're there.

[the-gilded]

Hi everyone, here's a bit of a life/progress update for everyone following. I wish I had more to share right now, but I hope there will be more coming soon.

I've posted several times that Chapter 2 is coming soon, and I really have wanted that to be true, but I haven't quite been able to bring myself to finish it. I did recently manage to finish drawing new official art for each of the ROs, so here's a little preview of that (sorry, I wish I was better at drawing consistently):

Also, if you want to hang out and/or watch me talk about games I love, you can find me live on Twitch sometimes:

http://www.twitch.tv/faedrian_

Further explanation/vent/plans below:

As far as why I haven't managed to finish writing Chapter 2, it's just because my life has been sliding downhill for a pretty long time now, and it's hard to find the motivation to write anything nice when I feel this bad.

I guess I noticed things getting worse last year, after I caught Covid in February. I was sick for about a month, got really depressed, lost a lot of weight, developed new complications with my endometriosis and my eating disorder got a lot worse. Around the same time, I realized that my relationship was beginning to fall apart. I've been with my partner for ten years, and it hasn't always been stable, but I've fought hard to keep us going together even when things got rocky. Last year, they decided that they needed to start cutting stress out of their life. That led to them breaking up with me twice - both times, I begged them to stay and keep working on our relationship. I was terrified by the possibility that they could just end our relationship and take my whole life away from me, forcing me to leave my home and lose everything I've built especially when I was at such a low point already.

A few weeks ago, they decided to break up with me again, and right now it's looking like it's for real this time - they signed a lease with some friends the day after breaking up with me, and decided that they would just leave me to fend for myself so that they wouldn't be burdened with the "responsibility" of caring for me any longer.

So, I'm currently facing down the reality that I will likely have to give up the whole life I've built up over the last seven years of us living together. I don't have anywhere to live here - all my friends and family are hours or even days away by car. I was in the middle of searching for a new job when the breakup happened this time, but now I guess I can't really take a job here if I'm going to have to move away. I can't afford to live on my own even with the new jobs I was applying for, and I wouldn't feel safe by myself either. I've always lived with my family or with my partner. I may be moving across the country in the next two months - going Northwest to live with some friends that offered to find a place together, and my best friend lovingly offered to pay my moving expenses. I have no money in the bank (in fact my account is overdrawn as I type this), so this is all very stressful right now. I'm hopeful that I'll find a way to work things out, to get myself settled, and to find the will to be productive with my games again.

As far as plans go:

I've been making plans to start up a Patreon and Discord once I have at least a couple months of content backlogged - it would include Beta reading access for The Gilded and my other game jam projects, BTS previews of some other, larger projects I'm drafting, monthly SFW and NSFW sketches and short stories as voted by the Patrons, and eventually a tier to get your OC written into The Gilded. If that's of any interest to you, let me know! I think it would be really good for me to see people engaging with my content again, and I could honestly use the motivation.

Thank you for reading this far, and thank you for following as long as you have. I still love and intend to finish this project, I just need to get through this dark place to find the light on the other side. 💜

[captain-mj]

The Journal

I don't know. Cw: Ghost's backstory

Soap found the unassuming book on his desk. The edges of the paper had turned slightly yellow and they were clearly flipped through quite often. He frowned at it, wondering who went into his room and set this there. It felt... almost threatening.

Soap gently opened the book to look at the first page.

I'm writing this journal as a "therapy" exercise. Frankly I think it's fucking bollocks. I'm fine. I dream about nothing.

Well. That wasn't very helpful. The handwriting was odd. Almost scrawling, like the person who was writing had shaky hands but also couldn't be bothered to hold the pen properly.

Soap frowned. This seemed a rather personal thing to give to a person. But it was in his room.

Just one more page.

Apparently I'm supposed to introduce myself. Fine. My name is Simon Riley. I belong to the SAS. I was a POW for a couple of months. I keep hearing numbers but none of them feel right. I think parts of me are still down there.

I hurt. Everywhere. Especially when people touch me. I can't sleep. Can barely eat. My mum is worried. So does Tommy. I want to tell them to fuck off. I have. But they keep worrying. I wonder if this is how Beth felt.

On the page was a polaroid. A baby faced Simon with nasty scars on his face, still fresh and angry. He looked half dead. Dark circles under his eyes and an expression nothing like his usual. Someone had their hand on his shoulder, but he could only see their arm.

Soap sucked in a breath. There was no way Ghost gave this to him. No fucking way.

He got up and grabbed the book, going straight for Ghost's quarters, planning on returning it immediately and pretending he had found it and couldn't find Price to turn it in.

Ghost's quarters were empty. His knives were missing, but his clothes were still there, meaning he was on a mission.

Fuck.

Soap paused and tapped his foot. He wasn't sure if Price was around. How did someone get this? If he left it in his room, he was worried someone would find it. He'd have to keep it. Just to be sure.

Soap set it back on his desk. When he saw Price, he'd talk to him.

After a minute of staring at it, Soap shoved the book into a drawer and closed it tight. He left to talk to Gaz to distract himself for a few hours.

Gaz was nice enough to tell him that Ghost and Price were on a mission together and that they wouldn't be back for a few days.

No big deal.

A few days with a book that potentially had a lot of answers to some questions he had about Ghost.

Soap didn't make it the night before he was reading more pages. He never claimed to have great self control.

Good morning. I feel like a teen, writing in a diary. I've been put on new medication today. Supposed to help. It makes me dizzy for some reason.

My mum keeps making me tea. She wants to make sure I'm real. I see her hands hovering around me. If I wasn't such a shit son, I'd tell her she can hug me. The thought makes my skin crawl. I see her dead body in my dreams. I see the skull they said was hers. I want to tell her I'm okay, but I don't want to lie.

Soap felt sick. There was a drawing. It was crude, clearly done out of boredom and with no real care behind it. Soap was pretty sure it was a skull that was dripping something. Maybe blood. The ink was all black so there was no way to tell. "Mum" was written several times around it.

I dreamed about her again.

That caught Soap's attention. Her? Was Ghost into women? That seemed unlikely.

She used to speak so soothingly in spanish to me. I wonder if she was like me. Did Roba rape her too?

Soap shut the book and shoved it under his pillow. Enough of that. Nope. He didn't want to think of those words and what they meant.

Fucking too.

No.

No...

No!

The idea of something like that happening to his Lieutenant was... It just... didn't happen.

Soap pulled the book out and kept reading. Just... to prove it wasn't real.

I don't know. It's not a nice thought. Maybe I want someone else to hurt too. I tried to jack off the other day and ended up scrubbing myself raw afterward from how it made me feel. How pathetic right?

Not sure what this is doing. What benefit this has. I'm writing my thoughts. Trying to feel better. Tommy joked about me buying a hooker. I had a panic attack. it was like i was back in high school again. fucking baby.

There was a picture of someone, presumably Tommy, and Simon hanging out. They were both smoking and Tommy was making a sign with his hands. He had a giant grin on his face. Simon had a carved out Glasgow smile that looked like it hurt. Raw. it looked to be after the earlier polaroid. The dark circles hadn't gotten better, but there was more color and flesh in his face.

My mum wants me to talk to my dad. I don't know why. I don't know want to see him. Can't let him see me right now. Maybe when I'm recovered. Last time I saw him, I beat his ass. Doubt he's going to forgive me.

Bastard is pure evil. He gets off on hurting people. Got off on hurting me. I think he's trying to use the cancer as an excuse to get close to my mum again. I'll beat his ass again. I'm putting on more weight. I'll fucking do it.

There was a little stick man drawing labeled 'Simon' and 'Bitch' with Simon beating him to death. Soap thought the blood was rather well drawn, even if the stick figures wasn't.

As the week went on, he kept reading a few pages at a time. He learned... things.

Ghost liked Vanilla tea.

Ghost had been assaulted by more than one person.

Ghost's father had beaten him. A lot.

Ghost was scared of snakes.

Ghost loved his Mum.

Ghost hated most mystery movies.

Tommy was Ghost's brother and was the second most important in his life.

And that they were all dead. All of them.

He wrote an explanation of everything there. In a clinical, harsh detail.

I wish I had died down there in Mexico. I wish I had laid down in that grave and died. It's my fault. It's my fault. It's my fault.

It kept repeating and then he had just started over and wrote over the first layer.

Soap was crying. He couldn't help it. Tommy was so... young. Not to mention the descriptions Ghost gave of his family in general. The pages after that were mostly drawings or scribbles, all made with heavy hands.

Simon knocked. He could tell by the sound he made when he knocked. "Johnny?"

"When did you get back?"

"...Just now. Can I come in?"

"Yeah." Soap wiped his face so he'd look... normal. "Yeah come in."

Ghost stepped inside and saw the book. "Enjoy it?"

"What?"

"I left it for you."

"Why?"

Ghost hummed. "Thought it would be the easiest way to let you in."

Soap swallowed. "You don't do anything half assed do you?"

Ghost's eyes stared at him. Answer enough right there.

[9w1ft]

I'm a gaylor myself so this isn't coming from a place of hate but I really don't think karlie and taylor are still together, I think taylor still references her in her art and probably will for quite some time because that relationship -- whatever the nature of it was -- left such a deep impact on her. but I really can't see them still being together, I think she's forced herself to move on from karlie and has since dated a lot of other women. that doesn't mean her feelings for karlie have faded, just that they will probably always be there but they broke up for sure before 2019, I think. folklore and evermore, midnights even, are all breakup albums, I just can't see how they could still be together. especially all her anger and sadness in those songs that are thought of to be for karlie (like my tears ricochet or exile or mad woman) also the cover art being shoot in bedfords, new york, the exact same place where karlie got married feels more like taylor revisiting this place to really say goodbye and mourn her for one last final time so she can move on

sorry, this got a bit long, I just don't understand the appeal or the reasoning for lsk's because taylor has indicated so many times that they are over, she's been mourning her relationship with karlie quite publicly since 2019 (wearing all black during the lover era) so yeah

hi! i don’t usually respond to these but i’m not sensing any ill will so i’ve decided to give a reply a go.

first off, for me, i kinda just interpret her wearing black in the back end of lover era because her masters had gotten bought by scooter. and maybe the fact that she decided to not come out. there can be other reasons, but i really do not think that her breaking up with karlie has to be one of them.

another thing i can’t shake is the fact that it was a very notorious troll/manipulative person on tumblr who spread the first rumor that they broke up in 2019, a fact that is well understood by a lot of OG’s, and this troll got in the head of a few popular kaylor and gaylor swift accounts at the time and in doing so she got a lot of people to fold. she then went on to write all this progressively unhinged fanfiction about taylor and karlie trying to make one another jealous and sleeping with all these women, presented with the same level of seriousness with which she pushed the breakup agenda. even to this day, i see present day gaylors talk about stuff that stems from narratives this account and a few other power hungry accounts spread around many years ago and it honestly just goes to show how a lot of well known gaylors may be platformmed up but that don’t really know what they’re talking about.. i only write this because the troll deactivated about a year ago (maybe they’re lurking on platforms with more malleable minds—once a troll always a troll—but at least they’ve left here), they were a really dangerous person.. and several have wild receipts to prove it.

anyways sorry i recognize that’s a tangent, i guess what i mean to say by it is, a lot of the sentiment surrounding the idea of a 2019 breakup and the reinforcement of the narrative by a gaylor community none the wiser stems from the work of someone with disingenuous intentions. a lot of “masterposts” or “realistic timelines” draw from what this person made up and it’s gone through enough filters for it to seem like credible sentiment but like, if you were there and you read all of what she wrote you know how silly it all sounded and how incoherently it was all written.

okay so to circle back to more of a content-centric angle, in my interpretation of the events that gave us folklore, evermore, and midnights, taylor had so much to be sad about. her mom had been very sick, the pandemic arrived and she had to cancel lover fest, she had to come to terms with scott b having sold her work to her sworn enemy… songs on midnights and folklore, and on her lover era apple music playlist allude to certain other things that may have had her in a mournful mood. things were bad! and i don’t doubt that her and karlie have been through a lot. but for me, when you’ve got a ride or die love, you don’t just break up. this has been something frustrating for me and others, i think, to see so many people treat a relationship as either being all systems go or broken up, as if long term partners can’t experience sadness together, difficulty together, even heartbreak together.

i don’t like getting in to touchy subjects so much but there’s just been too much pointing towards what i consider to be a rather simple narrative that is a natural progression for people committed and in love. how did the lover music video begin and end? whats a randomly specific word in a song she performed at the grammys minutes after someone was announced to the world? what about taylor’s envisioned future stands out about the anti hero music video? i think i’ll stop here but idk man 😆 poke around my archive if you feel like wasting a few days of your life… there’s just been a consistent flow of the same kind of hijinks that we’ve seen from them for years, and i’d say that there are many songs that back up everything i’d want in order to stay invested in seeing if what i believe is true.

now, i know i just wrote what reads like a bunch of mumbo jumbo to people not following kaylor. but im okay with that. i’ve accepted that. and i know that the whole patterns and koincidences and twinning and symbolism beat isn’t for everyone and so i respect people’s decisions to believe they aren’t together, but in closing i’ll just say im sometimes at a loss to see time and time again people suggest that kaylors believe in kaylor because they find it appealing or because they want to ship it. when it’s literally not that— it just makes the most sense to a lot of us!

also, does this look like the face of someone mourning?

[writingquestionsanswered]

How come I managed to get an outline done for once for the sole purpose of getting me to finish a chapter but I just can't get myself to finish that chapter?

Chapter Outlined, Can't Write Chapter

It happens. Outlines go only so far... you still have to flesh out the scenes as you write them... figure out the dialogue and the blocking. It's sort of like you can plot your trip route on Google Maps, but you still have to actually drive from one point to the other.

So... when you have an outline but are still struggling to actually write:

Problem #1 - You Don't Have a Way In

Having a chapter outline usually just means you know what generally (and importantly) needs to happen in the scene, the general order those things need to happen in, and some things like the scene's purpose, your character's goal, etc. But this is sort of like having a set of instructions that say, "Go to building. Go inside." Okay, great... but how are you specifically getting inside? Are you going through the front door? The back door? Climbing through a window? Landing on the roof in a helicopter? Tunneling in through a basement wall? So, before you can actually start writing, you need to figure out the specific way you're getting your character into the scene. A good way to do this is to go to the first important thing that has to happen in the scene, then rewind from there. What is your character doing in the moments before that? What has to happen in order to put them into that place in that moment? Is there anything unique about the circumstances or location you can focus on? Try opening up some of the books on your shelves and look at the ways different chapters begin. It will start to give you ideas for how you can open your chapter.

Problem #2 - Not Inspired/Excited

Having your chapter outlined doesn’t mean is a good first step, but if you're not feeling motivated to actually write the chapter, it will harder to write it. Try doing some fun exercises to get yourself excited about the chapter. Do a mood board or playlist for the chapter. Save some character and setting inspiration photos on Pinterest. Do an interview with your character that takes place after the scene/chapter to get their take on what happened and what they feel about it.

Problem #3 - Something Isn’t Working

Stories are like a house of cards in that one misplaced “card” can bring the whole thing crashing down. Sometimes you lose interest because an earlier element or event didn’t quite work. You can feel in your gut that something’s not right, so your brain interprets that as losing motivation. It’s not really that you’ve lost interest in the story… it’s that you’ve lost interest in the dead end path it’s on. Go back to the previous chapter or two and look for something that’s not pulling its weight. It could be an unnecessary character dragging the story down, a subplot that is cluttering up the story or drawing attention away from the main plot, or a scene/scenes that don’t add to the story. It could even be a combination of these things. If you can find it and fix it, your motivation may return.

Problem #4 - You’re Distracted by Other Things

If you sit down to write and you’re busy scrolling through facebook, texting with friends, and singing to the radio, you’re probably not going to get much done. Try blocking out thirty minutes (or whatever amount of time you can afford) and dedicate it entirely to writing. Shut down social media and other tempting apps/sites. Turn off the TV. Put your phone on silent. Tell housemates not to bother you. Put on soft music without lyrics, and focus solely on writing. If you find your mind starting to wander toward other things, yank it back and focus on your story.

Problem #5 - You’re Lacking the Physical/Mental Energy to Write

Whether you’re sick, not getting enough sleep, super busy, depressed, or in a bad mood, not having physical or mental energy can make it hard to write. Do what you can to bring your energy up as much as possible, both physically and mentally, and you may have an easier time writing that chapter.

I hope something here will work for you!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[ellieswifie]

︿︿ ੈ[ 🕷️ ] ༉‧₊˚✧

warnings: spider-woman!ellie, 18+ mdni, cursing, amazing spiderman references, kissing, pet names (bug girl)(i’m not sorry), pre-smut but no real smut (i know, but i’m still not sorry), just being in love with spider-woman!ellie

authors note: after seeing @cottoncandytomu amazing spiderwoman!ellie post, i immediately fell in love with spider-woman!ellie and needed to write some hcs. this post is entirely just for funzies and all inspiration goes to @cottoncandytomu. also, i don't know what the fuck i'm doing when it comes to hc's so bear with me. hope you enjoy!

˗ˋ.*✧·˚ ೃ࿔₊•

sfw

spider-woman!ellie who would one hundred percent tell you she's spider-woman before she tells anyone else. she'd be super scared and nervous while she starts talking, but you had secretly known the entire time.

"i've been wanting to get something huge off my chest..." she'd start pacing around the room in her grey sweats and jacket, covering her red and blue suit. you know exactly what she's been wanting to tell you, but you wanted to her her say it. well until she started taking forever to get the words out her mouth. "i don't want you to think i'm crazy but... i'm-" "spider-woman." you'd finished as her eyes grew wide. "i've known for quite a while now."

spider-woman!ellie who wouldn't care that you've known all through your entire friendship. she's more than happy she didn't have to go through the suffering of explaining the entire thing. and if anything it made your "friendship" stronger.

spider-woman!ellie who would hate just calling you her friend. she'd want to swing around the city while you held onto her waist tightly. but with her and her intense bad guy fights, she couldn't risk losing you to any future villains, so she had to protect her feels from you.

spider-woman!ellie who would totally where her worn-down chucks while she was fighting crime. you'd catch her about to leave during a crime scene and just shake your head, staring at her shoes that are bearly hanging on.

she only wears them all the time because you would draw little spiderwebs and heart spiders all over the shoes. it makes her smile like crazy.

spider-woman!ellie who would be cocky as fuck while fighting villains but when it's just you and her out of her suit, she is the quietest and most reversed person ever. one moment she'd be like "got you now!" "what am I too fast for you?" to then a smiling mess in front of you.

spider-woman!ellie who would do just about anything to protect you. if you tried helping her track down a villain, she'd immediately turn down any ideas you brought up that included you being involved. you'd constantly ask why you can't help her and she'd end up confessing her love-sick feelings for you.

"ellie come on," you'd say for just about the tenth time. ellie was sitting in a chair across the room, refilling her web cartridges waiting for a villain call. "i can take full care of myself."

"no i can't risk you getting yourself hurt for me." ellie would mutter, not meeting your eyes. you'd roll your eyes at her response, as she turned away from you in the rolling chair. "why is it that you don't trust me? why is it that you constantly feel the need to protect me-"

"because i love you and every person i love in my life dies for me! and i don't want to lose the last person i care about to some silly villain chase. so no, you're not coming." she'd confess, as you stared blankly into her eyes. her watch would ding, making her tear her mask on, and swing out of your room, leaving the conversation completely unfinished.

spider-woman!ellie who wouldn't talk about the conversation for days. it would be on her mind for hours, but she couldn't risk breaking her friendship with you for her feelings. she'd stop swinging to your house before and after every fight making you want to just crawl into your own skin.

nsfw

spider-woman!ellie who would finally grow the balls to finally talk to you after a huge fight that had her body tattooed in cuts. regardless of whether you guys were on speaking terms or not, she'd only want you to numb the pain and make her scars go away. you'd be scared shitless as she stumbles towards your window, ripping her mask off. you wouldn't even bring up the confession, you two had a week or two ago. you'd help her limp towards your bed, while she struggles out of the suit.

the air would be thick as you roam around your bathroom, trying to keep quiet. ellie would be lying in only her sports bra, watching you walk back into the room, carrying a first aid kit and a chocolate bar.

your eyes would linger on her exposed skin while you settled yourself on the end of the bed, handing her the bar. "here..." you'd mutter. "it'll ease the pain."

spider-woman!ellie who would think she didn't need the damn chocolate bar. she just needed you. she only needed you ever.

spider-woman!ellie who would whine and struggle out of your grasp as you run a wet towel along her stomach. your nose would scrunch at the pain you know your causing her, so you remove the towel, looking into her eyes. ellie's breathing would be heavy as you reposition yourself, sitting on her thigh.

you wouldn't stop looking at her eyes as you place the towel back on her wounded scar. she'd gunt at the instant contact, but her eyes wounded leave yours. "shhh." you'd hush her, looking back down at her exposed skin. "i know it hurts but just focus on me.."

spider-woman!ellie who would read the entire thing wrong. her eyes would meet down to look at you dressed in only a tank top and short pajama shorts. it was as if suddenly all the pain she'd been feeling vanished in seconds. her eyes remained on your face when you looked back up at her.

your hand removed from her bleeding wound and rested on her thigh while you guys held eye contact. you could feel your words cloud up in your throat when ellie leaned closer to your face.

spider-woman!ellie who would raise her hand to remove a strain of loose hair out your face, while her face moved closer to yours. your hands would trail up her body, stopping to rest on her chest. "your hands are so soft..." ellie muttered, closing her eyes at your light touch.

you couldn't help but let out a soft giggle, before turning back on your serious face when ellie opened her eyes, lips not too far from yours.

spider-woman!ellie who would jump from under you when two light knocks come from your locked bedroom door. you both turned toward the door before you'd climb off her thigh to open the door, where ellie wasn't in the frame.

"dad! hey is everything alright?" you'd say, looking back at ellie for a quick second before looking back at your dad. "yeah just thought i heard talking." he'd mutter, making the hairs on your skin shoot up. "anyways, your mother and i are headed to bed, you should probably do the same. good night."

you'd simply just nod your head, shut the door, and turn back to ellie, who is now standing by your bed. your eyebrows were drawn together as ellie stood there, the top half of her suit still unzipped.

spider-woman!ellie who would now feel embarrassed for showing up here at such an inappropriate time. she'd begin getting her mask and shoes back on and you'd stand across the room just watching her.

"what are you doing? you can't just go swing back outside. you're still bleeding." you'd say stepping back towards her.

"i shouldn't even came-" ellie stutters, but when you move to place a hand on her face, she immediately shuts up. you both fall silent just staring at each other.

spider-woman!ellie who would mutter a quick "fuck it" before smashing her lips against yours, making you let out a soft moan.

spider-woman!ellie who would smirk at the soft sounds you're making from her touch. she'd nudge you two back towards the bed, but yelp when you fall against her injured chest. you gasped and removed your lips quickly, lifting off her slightly. ellies head fell back onto the mattress laughing slightly, making you cover your mouth with your hand.

"oh my god, are you okay?!" you inquired, trying to lean off her, but ellie would wrap her hands around your hips, trapping you in place.

"i’m fine," she’d smile, looking at your face red with embarrassment. you'd hid your face into her neck, smiling. "but maybe we should take things a little slow, yeah?"

spider-woman!ellie who would clearly doesn't know what taking things slow means and no surprise to you, you don't either.

spider-woman!ellie who would swing by your house after every villain fight just to make out with you for hours after your first kiss. her suit would be unzipped, exposing her hard nipples poking out of her sports bra, while you remained fully clothed, rolling your hips slowly on her thigh.

you’d be in this position for what felt like forever before you’d try to take things to the next level, but ellie would quickly stop and make some silly excuse. "let’s wait til i take you out on a date." or "do you hear that?"

spider-woman!ellie who would insist on taking you swinging for your first date. you wanted to just go out to dinner and hang out back at your house, but when she convinces you to sing around the city then have a nice dinner on a high up building planned by non other than ellie williams, you can’t help but forget all about the boring dinner.

you guys chat for hours about anything, just enjoying each other’s presence before she’d swing you around once more.

spider-woman!ellie who would have her phone in her hands texting you mid battle. regardless of how much she could put herself in danger, she makes she to answer all your texts and calls.

"hey babe where are you right now?" you’d say then hear sirens and gun shots in the background. "ellie are you-" "nowhere babe! what’s up?”

spider-woman!ellie who would love doing the spiderman kiss with you regardless of where you were. you’d be walking down the street and shed pop out of nowhere upside down, tearing her mask up just above her mouth, ready for her kiss.

"you seriously need to stop popping up on me." you’d smile, stepping closer to her lips. ellie’s nose would scrunch in the cutest way before pressing her lips to yours. "i just miss you all the time."

spider-woman!ellie who would crawl into your arms just always wanting to feel you close because it tells her you are safe. she'd lay in your arms telling you about her day and the past bad guys she'd fought, while you rub her hair and tell her how much you love her.

spider-woman!ellie who would love the pet names. the moment you call her bug girl, she'll be crawling at your skin wanting you all to herself.

"careful bug girl.." you mumbled, as ellie's hands met the waistband of your sweats. her eyebrows raised at the pet name turning her on even more than the hot wet spot building in her boxers.

"what did you just call me?" she'd smirk, dipping her hands quicker down past your underwear. "bug girl." you replied, gasping when ellie's fingers found your core. "say that again." little did you know you'd be moaning the nickname the rest of the night.

spider-woman!ellie who would forever do anything that makes you happy and do whatever you want.

sigh. we all need a spider-woman!ellie.

[the-grungler]

"i hate you harder than every star in the sky" (vague character study?)

(a/n) these freaks actually make me sick to my fucking stomach i love them so much (í keep confusing myself with tags but if ur in the fandom you know the triggers already probly)

(genuinely adore nemlei's writing, come find my exaggeratedly heated political views on the moe-aestheticed cannibalistic incest story at the bottom) (just bc no one asked doesn't mean i can't suck my own dick <3)

not beta read rip

————————————

Smoke lifts towards the sky as he pulls the stick from his lips. For a fleeting second, he sees the stars align. The movie writes itself—the turbulent snare of helicopter blades, an SOS thrown and caught and hugs and tears and all of that sorry bullshit. And then they'd ask questions. He'd be cuffed. She'd be gone. His crooks and kinks pounded out in the prison for Another Societal Disappointment. He'd get his life straightened out—removed, without the clinical jargon—and all his friends and family's souls would cheer their comeuppance from the afterlife.

Happy endings are just too tastefully easy, aren't they?

For the twelfth time that night, he thinks about killing her.

The demon. The parasite. The dumb cunt of a tumor, eating and growing and grinning.

She's a vile itch under his skin, his bones. One that if he pulled the flesh and sinew from all that'd sit underneath were cinder and ash. Ash and cinder.

Ash and Tar and worthless waste Andy.

He sucks it down his lungs like sweet, sexy heroin. If the world ever went his way, she'd be shot out back and hung.

You did this to me.

He relishes in the way his brain flushes out anymore thoughts at that. The feeling her existence gives him is the most miserable serotonin he's ever tried to smoke. His life, his purpose, his burden, is currently meandering a sorry knock-off of a seven eleven, probably making some minimum wage tween's life a living hell.

Good.

He shouldn't have to be the only one's air wasted on that sorry bitch.

He swings the car door open until it crashes into itself, because no god fucking dammit he's the only one, only one allowed to, he'd kill that rancid cashier, wring its fucking neck for thinking it had any right to have Her leaving suicidal dirt tracks over its life the way that stupid cow ruined his. She was His burden. His. His. His.

You're the one that sent her off.

His voice of reason sighs, and he remembers all over again that yes, this is in fact what he wants. Peace and quiet. Two minutes away from that blighting hellspawn. Just two minutes, and he'd sweep all her fuckups back into the dirt to rot with the rest of their victims.

Andrew and the severe smoking addiction. Andrew and the stars against the night sky. Andrew and the obnoxious tussle of bushes hiding the last throat he'd slit. Andrew and the gaping void of oh, who fucking cares, anyway?

He stands up from the cramped carseat She cheerfully proclaims their house. Pops his back. Sucks the cigarette dry, holds it in until the smoke tingles and burns away his braincells and the memory of whatever just happened. In. Out.

He closes his eyes, and he is an average office worker, wringing sighs out on the front porch until his smile is in place for his pretty wife.

He closes his eyes, and he is a slackerish homebody, wiping dishes and beating off until his annoying wife saunters through the door.

He closes his eyes, and he's got a scholarship and a master's under his belt, and he's being congratulated for an accolade he's accidentally achieved, staggering home to hang himself because that Stupid Bitch is late and—

"Oh, Aaaaaaandy!" She crashes into him with the crumple of plastic bags and cold sandwiches, and he thinks of how that sugar and methamphetamine lilt snuffed out under his palms would sound for the thirteenth time. "I have returned with spoils untold! ...The fuck are you loitering around for?" She pouts her lips in that crude imitation of cuteness. "So much for not drawing attention, you greasy hobo."

There are a lot of things to be said about your loved ones.

"Yes, because we should all go around charging each other like raging bulls, that'll surely get the cops off our tails."

Happy-go-lucky couples who tongue off on the mere thought of each other, a pretty list of perfection dripping down in a sweet, honeyed daze. (Not that Ashley qualifies as a human, or any sort of girlfriend!)

"HahAhaha! Someone's got a real stick up their asshole tonight. C'mon, I can't express my love for a job well done?"

"Need I point out that you are the obnoxious stick in this metaphor?"

Ashley, has none of those things. In fact, what Andrew has is a list of horrors, eight fully formed essays on why things like her shouldn't be alive (the collection of poetry didn't count if he burned them all fast enough). Gaslighting, manipulative, vile, selfish, leech, more boobs than brain, the self awareness of a rock and the complete disregard for other's opinions or should's and shouldn'ts, that freedom to do whatever she pleases whenever, the primal comradery that bound them in their own sins—

Her pout sours. "Real fucking rainbows and sunshine, aren't you? Isn't this the part where you fall to your knees and praise me about what a incredible job I did, and how you can't live without me?"

"I can hardly live with you! Why the hell were you gone so long?? If I have to clean up another body because you can't behave for five fucking minutes, I swear to God—"

"Ugh, get off my ass, it was barely five, tops! Couldn't you have thrown this fit yesterday? Or like, not at all?? Nothing happened! I bought our dinner. I got the change. i left."

He breathes wisps of smoke through his nostrils. Knowing that thirty second interaction with the cashier was not the cacophony of screams and bitchery he chewed on the daily, in fact, more courtesy than he had ever received off her end in his entire fucking life, sent another white hot wave of rage through his bones.

"...Okay. You're right."

"...Aaaand?"

"And I'm sorry," he rolls his eyes, but of course this is the night she takes it like a champ, corralling him into the cramped space of the car and rifling through the bags like an early morning Christmas present.

(Not that he knew what it felt like. He'd dwell on it, maybe, suck the bitter out like trashy candy, but he couldn't face that nagging twitch of a thought—some phantom sense of fear, that if he looked down, turned over whatever he could remember of the shit he ate from whoever wasn't his sister, it'd disappear, just like everything else around him.)

That toiling murk in his head of daily life. Teeth and smiles and the motions of love. Did you really love someone if you couldn't kill yourself for them, over and over and over again?

(The pill is in front of him. He will never swallow, because this bottomless stretch of tar and tits is the closest thing left to a spark he has. Maybe it's the only thing he'll ever be able to take out of someone.)

That's right. It's all your fault.

He pops the top off the sandwich container. It looks like ash and horseshit, smells like canned tuna.

The fuckup next to him plucks it out and bites down with a snide, smeared grin.

"Hey," he jades.

"C'mon! Ladies first, y'know?" She pauses mid-chew as the flavor sinks in, a grimace wrinkling her nose. "...My apologies, brother dearest! How ill mannered of me." She drops it back in the container and shoves it over to him. "Out of the kindness of my dainty little heart, it's only fair you eat first!"

He snorts, despite himself. "As if. You got your slobber all over it, you little shit."

"Excuse you!? I'll have you know that refined beings such as myself just don't need tasteless, lowclass trash! You should be thankful I've indulged you thus far!"

"Right, because you'd rather eat what? The refined hors d'oeuvres of human intestines?"

She smirks like he's proven her point exactly. "I'm not like other girls, you see."

He barks a loud laugh. "You got that right. You're a fucking mistake."

"Takes one to know one." She sticks a jeering tongue out at him. He regrets in advance all the ways he could scrape the stains right off those lips.

Instead, he bites a chunk off her sandwich, parading nonchalance with belligerent ignorance. It's second nature, a game she hasn't realized she's played him into.

It tastes like shit.

But hey, so does everything else in his mouth. The mildly repulsed look she gives him as he swallows the whole thing just makes it all the tiny bit sweeter.

fucking hate and love nemlei for making one of the most beautifully crafted deep dives into abuse an incest simulator LIKE HOW THE FUCK DO I EXPLAIN THIS TO MY HOMIES???

and not to mention what a special goddamn project it is because i am so tired of media bitching and moaning morals and preaching into their writing. like i get corporations physically unable to not have a moral message by the end due to sueful behavior but this is just a breath of beautifully moldy air. all you need to know is that these people are NOT healthy role models, they are not a hero's journey of victory or happy-ever-after peace, or here to teach you something about life. these bitches are NASTY and if you need a video game to tell you not to fuck your sister, i assure you there are bigger problems going on there

just kidding this is just me hammering down my brain puke so it stops seeping into everything else. i'd do ashley POV too but i got it all out with this one and her character just doesn't fit with casual introspective study for me.

[skoff-the-artist]

I love studying, but it takes so much time

For those who follow me for not so long - I'm getting a bachelors degree in multimedia design, which includes video production, and largely - animation.

I love studying. I love that I can write an Arcane analysis for the history class, or dissect Transformers:One when writing a movie analytic. I love animation in every shape or form, be it 3D or 2D or just a PowerPoint presentation with funky moving elements, I love art, history of art, I love creating a concept and going trough with it 'till it's a product.

But it takes so much time and energy and sheer THOUGHT... And it's so taxing on my body. I was sick several times through Autumn alone, and I suffer greatly from not being able to do my own thing. Not to mention war that rages on, taking both my mental and physical strength. I do not wish to pity myself, but it's a fact.

I love studying, but as I'm writing yet another analysis I'm thinking about how I would love to spend this time drawing fanart. I'm drawing backgrounds for a short story animation assignment and wish I was making an animation meme instead. I wish I wish. And when I finally have free time, I find myself not wanting to draw at all! I find that I'd rather read or go outside or cook something. And I feel great doing it, I don't feel guilty about it! But I wish I had that outlet still, because the best way for me to express my thoughts is through art. You'd think I have a lot of that in an ART academy, but really it gets down to technicalities and certain rules you have to follow to succeed not as an artist, but as a Professional, which Is Good, but ultimately now is all I can think about. Lost is the innocent joy of creating for the sake of creating, because now I can see every mistake clearly.

I can't say I have problems with time management. But this.. it burned me out, though it's hard to admit. Basically my whole journey through studying and war is documented here, in my Tumblr blog (it was created in May 2022, a few months after the full-scale invasion of Ukraine had started and a few months before I was accepted into the academy), so some of you may've involuntarily followed my life story, supporting me throughout!

Curious, isn't it? I love you all. I wish you strength and inspiration to do your own thing.

[north-noire]

Bad Sketch comic. Of the Mike's. For the silly's. (And because I was too sick to do anything else today.)

Hope you like it! :3 (Inferno Mike immediately assumes that because you're Mike is alive and like well looking that he probably didn't kill his brother. And of course Inferno Mike wouldn't Help his dad so it's in his opinion a very funny joke to imply HH Mike would.)

I LOVE THE IMAGERY IN THIS SO MUCH IT'S AMAZING KSEKDMSKSO I'M SO FERAL ABT IT!!!! AHHHHHH, LIKE THE SMOKE SHOWING INFERNO MIKE'S FACE??? AND THE FOX TEETH OHHHH MY GOD

SORRY THAT I TOOK MONTHS TO REPLY TO THIS i was gonna draw a comic for this but instead the writing bug bit me so have this, the narrative refers to Inferno! Mike as "the other Mike" :)

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Michael didn't know what to say to the other, scooped, purple Mike. He was almost speechless -- his lips quivering with anticipation.

"I-I can't tell if you're joking or what," He said, his body tensing up in his seat. Oh god, he's so bad at this. He nervously clicked his tongue. "But no."

The other Mike looked confused, taking a whiff of his cigarette first before he spoke. "Sorry?"

"You're wrong," Michael blurted out, shaking his head. He didn't mean for it to come off too harshly, but the emotion carried him away. "I still killed my little brother, and I'm not proud of that. I'll never be. I still, somehow, helped my dad do awful things and thought he wouldn't do anything wrong at all. I fought for his 'innocence'. I'm no better. I'm just as bad as he was."

He sighed. "I still miss him, my little brother Evan. Everyday, I wish I could've changed something about that event. Wishing to punch myself into oblivion, hoping it would fix it. But that's just wishful thinking at this point."

The other Mike -- listening attentively -- was speechless, hearing the other man he thought would've been a better man than he was, saying things out loud like that to him.

He paused, letting the cheap cigarette in his hand burn to a crisp. "So... we're not too different, after all."

"...yeah." Michael softly responded, blankly staring at the ground beneath them. "I wish you never had to go through what you had to go through, though. I think you deserve to be alive, too. Well, at least... not have to suffer for it."

"There's probably a reason why you got out of it in one piece, then." The other Mike said, throwing the cigarette butt to the ground and stomping on it with his shoe.

Michael couldn't help but let out a snort, his body finally feeling much looser. "Dumb luck, I'd say."

"At least you get to look cool on Halloween, I guess," He lightly joked, but part of him felt bad for it. "Sorry, horrible joke, I know."

The other Mike chuckled back. "Funny you say that, considering that's probably my favorite day of the year. A day where I don't get looked at weirdly for the twentieth time."

"That, and I get free candy and gum. Which is nice." He added.

"It's not too much work trying to get around, is it?" Michael sadly looked at him.

"Yeah. Even though I feel like with one wrong move, my bones and skin are going to rattle and fall apart, at some point you just... Get used to it, I guess." The other Mike said, shrugging his shoulders. "Not like I have anything better to do with my fucked up life, right?"

"...yeah." Michael said, finding himself staring at the ground again. "I think you're a very resilient person, Mike. Or Michael. Whatever works."

He continued after he softly chuckled. "The fact that you continue to go on, despite everything going against you, it's... commendable. I know you probably hate yourself, and I... understand that. But the fact that you choose to continue marching on, continue to try and live and fix everything, it's... I really can't help but admire you for what it's worth."

"Ha, you flatter me too much when I'm just some rotting corpse walking around here." The other Mike let out a chuckle, his wide, rotting grin curling around his mouth.

"I'm being honest!" Michael insisted, smiling awkwardly. "For what it's worth, it's nice knowing someone that knows what it's like to have circumstances as... absurd as ours."

"Yeah. It's a nice thought." The other Mike nodded along, his voice softened as he stared to the ground.