#I can't believe that my first character analysis is on one of my least favorite characters

[luceafarul-de-dimineata]

Expanding on my previous post, I think having to take care of child of the enemy would be such a wonderful deconstruction of Leviathan's character.

Leviathan's main motivation for everything he does is to protect the future of Hell, to protect the children and avange the ones that were lost in the experiments. He eliminates anything that might be dangerous for Hell because if there's even a 1% chance of someone suffering he would blame himself for it. He wants to go find the seed of the fruir of knowledge even though he knows it's a dangerous journey, just because it might save his subjects.

Also, Leviathan (as far as we know) has the most personal reason to hate angels. He's seen them at their cruelest and they've always been a traumatic force in his life. While the other kings got to have more peaceful childhoods (again, we don't know if they were abused, I'm just going off what we know) Leviathan never had that priveledge. Even before the war he was abused by them, and now, in his adulthood, he still can't move on because he sees his subjects being killed and tortured by the same people that abused him.

I think that out of all the characters, Leviathan would be the most... interesting father. Don't get me wrong, he won't be bad, but the sort of abuse that Leviathan had to go through changes you in ways you might never expect. He loves kids, the main reason he fights this war is to make sure the children in Hell get a childhood that isn't characterised primarly by war and death. But if he had to deal with a child 1 on 1 for long stretches of time...

He'll probably be extremely overprotective of them, going by the same rule of 1% change of danger = death. The way most parenting works, especially from people that were abused in their childhoods, is that of trying to protect the child from the trauma they experienced. I doupt Leviathan would even let angels look at his kid, or anyone that he percieves as dangerous for that matter.

We also see in the Orias event that Leviathan can be very nice to the people he likes, and I think that it would be the same for his kid. It would be something like

Leviathan strangling MC: I need to kill you, MC, for your life is bringing certain doom amoungst my people

Levi's kid: Dad, can you help me with my algebra?

Leviathan dropping MC to the ground: Yes, sweetheart, what is it? Do you want us to repeat your multiplications table?

Tl;dr of this post is - stop saying Leviathan would be a shit dad. He'll be overprotective of his kid, but he'll never in a million years hurt a child

[taeggukxiie]

I don't really like endhawks and it's not so much because of the age gape or the fan/idol relationship (la brava and gentle have some age gape and bakudeku are the pure description of fanatization/idolization trope and I like both of those ships), but more because endeavor literally embodies what Hawks hate the most.

Hear me out on this one, they have cute interactions but for me the fact that Hawks stayed by endeavor's side even knowing what he did to his children is kinda out of character. I mean the whole thing why keigo wanted to be a hero was to help people and make them smile because he went through abusive behavior all his life. Endeavor do save people but doesn't make them smile, not directly anyway. Hawks wanted to help the new generation, but endeavor traumatized the generation he gave birth to. Hawks wanted to be free, but endeavor stole freedom from his children (at least until he becomes number 1 and shoto comes to UA).

I understand hawks forgiving and accepting endeavor even after what he did, because hawks is so optimistic that he wants to believe eveyone can change for the better, but I don't understand him staying by endeavor's side. I mean, how traumatic would it be to discover that your idol who saved you and gave you a dream to follow did the exact same things as the person who traumatized your childhood? I see some narrative problems here. Or maybe it's just that hawks is too optimistic for his own good.

The thing is, I think Hawks so desperately needed a symbol to give him hope that he didn't even try to look more profoundly into endeavor's mistakes. Like he tried so hard to convince himself. Here we can see that hawks says he could keep up with training and abuse by the commission because someone supported him, probably implying endeavor. But it wasn't even true, hawks just chose to idealize enji because he saved him, but enji didn't know hawks before metting him as a hero, so he couldn't actually support him in his dream. I know it's only metaphoric, but it does mean that Keigo just needed something, someone to hold onto because of all the suffering he went through. And he chose endeavor, who was the only person indirectly "caring" for him.

Now maybe it's because I adore Hawks and I hate endeavor (the man and his actions, not the way he's written), but I can't imagine them in a romantic relationship. How could Hawks give his trust and love to the exact same profile as his father? How could they live together without hawks remembering the abuse? I think that even enji himself wouldn't trust his own reactions and feelings, hunted by the past. "The past never dies", and it's true for everyone in this story.

Look how similar they are. Honestly I don't really understand horikoshi on this one because if he wanted to give enji a loyal sidekick, then why give Hawks an abusive father?

Or if horikoshi wanted to give us grumpy x playful duo, then do it with dabihawks? They had so much potential to be our favorite bickering duo, and their drama would've been so good if they both knew each other before touya's death, became close during hawks undercover mission and then went through a heartbreaking breakup during touya's reveal.

(look at them they could've been soo good as a grumpy x playful duo aah)

Instead, we got Hawks indirectly supporting the same abuse he went through and the destruction of dabihawks' potential with the biggest absence of interactions ever after the first war.

(Also I want to add that I respect everyone's opinion and I don't hate endhawks shippers at all! It's just my point of view on the ship, everyone is free to ship whoever they want if that stays legal 🙏)

Maybe I'm going too far into the analysis (someone stop me please I'm talking too much-), but I really think that endhawks couldn't work, for hawks as much as for enji. Now the interesting thing to ask would be : would dabihawks actually work in a romantic relationship? I guess we'll never know.

[evilbihan]

Congratulations, OP, on making the most factually incorrect post I've ever seen on this hellsite.

Let's take this trainwreck of an "analysis" apart step by step, shall we?

Oh, good lord, now I'm seeing Bi-Han stans say his father was abusive. There is literally nothing in MK1 implying that.

In the previous timeline, Bi-Han's and Kuai Liang's father literally kidnapped them and killed their mother and sister, then raised them to become assassins against their will, but now we're supposed to believe that man's a saint?

I've said this in a different post before and I'll repeat it here too: The core essence of every character in MK1 is basically still the same as it was in the old timeline. Geras is still loyal to his creator (previously Kronika, now Liu Kang), Scorpion might be a different person now but he's still vengeful, Sindel is good now, but she's still a merciless ruler, Kung Lao is still ambitious, etc. Not a single one of these characters is a completely new and different person. Following that logic, the same thing would apply to the old grandmaster.

At first glance, it may seem like nothing implies that Bi-Han's and Kuai Liang's father was abusive, but that's only if you ignore anything outside of the main story.

I made an entire post about it here, but I'll give you the short version:

Additionally, there was a node in the previous season of invasions mode that involved another fight with Bi-Han, titled "second best". Second best at what? We know that in the old timeline, Bi-Han was the Lin Kuei's best assassin. Therefore, this could have only been referring to the new era's Bi-Han, again confirming that their father had a favorite son, Kuai Liang, not Bi-Han.

Believe it or not, this is a form of emotional abuse.

Y'all (thirsty fandom bitches) are so obsessed with your villain faves being victims of parental abuse, even when canon doesn't imply that or literally says otherwise. I've seen it in the Scream fandom, now it's in the MK fandom, too.

Still not convinced? How about we change perspectives from my favorite character to my least favorite one then? Everyone who's been following this blog knows I can't stand Kuai Liang, but I even believe him to be a victim of abuse at his own father's hand, albeit in a different way than Bi-Han.

Nitara: Had you ever known hunger, you wouldn't judge us. Scorpion: I have, and I will.

So, what does this intro tell us?

Kuai Liang has known hunger, so there must have been a period in his life where he has been starving, but why? Poverty seems highly unlikely. The Lin Kuei seem well organized and in his tower ending, Bi-Han talks about how many of their resources were spent on the cyber initiative, so I doubt the Lin Kuei were ever poor or he wouldn't have been able to afford all that technology at all. The brothers also come across as quite arrogant. Growing up poor would have probably made them more humble.

So, why was Kuai Liang starving? Would loving parents let their children starve? Was it perhaps part of their training or a way to punish them for disobedience? And if so, why does Kuai Liang still think and speak so highly of his father? Stockholm syndrome maybe.

And let's say it wasn't the grandmaster's fault that they were starving, then wouldn't it make Bi-Han's ambition to give the clan more wealth and power noble instead of selfish? It would mean no more starving for any of the Lin Kuei in the future.

Regardless of your takeaway from this, the end result remains the same: Bi-Han is not evil.

Bi-Han has always been an asshole. He's power-hungry and he is a bad person. Him murdering his father (whom his brothers haven't implied anything bad about) is no surprise, and trying to make up completely non-canon things to justify it because you can't handle liking a fictional villain is moronic.

Bi-Han has always been an asshole? Always as in previous timelines? Because by that logic, his father has always been an asshole too. See how you're contradicting yourself here? Secondly, Bi-Han is not a bad person. That's straight up wrong.

Ashrah said he's redeemable.

Kuai Liang said he and Bi-Han were once close.

Bi-Han shows genuine regret over Sindel's death.

Tomas, one of the nicest characters in the game, used to look up to Bi-Han.

Kitana's announcer voice when selecting Bi-Han: "You were a decent person once."

He's flawed, not evil.

The only person making up completely non-canon things is you.

Oh, and for the record, I'm a huge fan of Homelander and there's no saving grace to that man. I don't care though, I love villains.

Here's the punchline though, Bi-Han isn't a villain, he's an anti-hero/anti-villain type of character. Do some research.

It's Bi-Han. Bi-Han would sell his little brother to Shang Tsung for a single corn chip! (And I don't mean Tomas; he'd give away Tomas for free.)

Bi-Han literally refused to deliver Kuai Liang to Kronika in MK11 as Noob when Geras told him to.

Geras: Bring your brother to Kronika. Noob Saibot: The dead are my clan. Geras: Do you serve or do you not?

Bi-Han doesn't wish harm upon either of his brothers in MK1 either, he tells them multiple times to surrender and join him. Just watch their intros, it's all there. He even admitted that he wanted Kuai Liang to rule by his side. In his intros with Shang Tsung, he also mentions that he regrets ever trusting him.

The whole original post is a joke. Implying that people who are upset over mischaracterization and bad writing must be thirsting over a character is just ridiculous.

How wrong do you want to be?

OP: yes.

[botanybulbasaur]

Schneider's family ; The significance of Marian

REVERSE 1999 SPOILERS AHEAD : FOR CHAPTERS 1 AND 2 ! Please tread carefully and make sure you only read about what you're willing to know.

I know we're all still completely in shambles from Chap. 2, but I wanted to make a speculation about Schneider-- and a comment about how well she's written !

Let me start with this: In many pieces of media, viewers, listeners and readers alike are told that a character has people they care for. They're told a character has a lover, a wife, kids, a family, a sister. We're told the same about Schneider: that she has 11 older siblings, and that she works in the mafia to support them.

However, it's very rarely that we're given a name and a face for these supposed loved ones. And even rarer is it that they're written well, not just as a ploy for empathy, but as their own character: Ladies, gentlemen, and esteemed guests: I present to you, Marian.

Marian is one of my favorite characters just as a stand-alone: she's realistic, she's anxious, she clings to Schneider like a lifeline-- but she's brave, too. I'd love to do an in-depth analysis on her another time, but we're here for another reason.

Marian, first of all, shows us what Schneider's family is like. How they were raised, what they believe in, who they depend on. Soft topic, I know, but as someone of Italian lineage, it's very important to me that I point this out: Marian is extremely religious.

Immigrants of every kind tend to be religious. It gives them much more faith than they ever could have: a new lifeline. They managed to make it across such a winding sea? Oh, thank the lord. They haven't been kicked out of the Americas for emigration? Thank you, holy one. There's so many more reasons for this than "they need something they don't have"- maybe the fact that the rendition of god in every religion is said to love everybody, not just those who were born into wealthy families with the bluest eyes and the blondest hair.

When in a moment with no reason, and all different kinds of desperate measures being needed.. Schneider does what her family coaxes her to. She prays.

(I can't find a screenshot, but please refer to the iconic "I didn't know you prayed" scene, and the screenshot directly below this sentence.)

I also want to point out a large difference between Schneider and her family: Schneider's perspective on a 'god' differs so, so much from her family's.

She looks to whoever may be above, in her world, scornfully-- at least, in the present day. In her past, there is a particularly impactful line I want to debunk.

"The god there ... loves the world." Schnider's family seems to believe that god was the one guiding them, the one who will forgive them-- Schneider believed that it was a whole different entity. This kid believes that the god in Sicily, whoever they may be, does not love the world-- and mio dio, if that's not fucked up, I don't know what is.

And, when Schneider comes to America and sees that shit isn't as it's cut off to be, she's resentful of whoever this god may be. She gives a pray as her last bet-- what her family wants.

And it's not that she doesn't believe in this god-- no. She just doesn't believe they love her.

"Finally forgive me" -- Finally being the key word here. She's lived all her life never being treated to mercy or being 'forgiven for her sins' -- and at her most fragile, exposed moment, she relents to what her family has taught her. To what she truly believes-- to Sicily, to Marian, her sorella. Maybe even all 11 sorelle and her parents.

And, again, they're different at face value. Marian is calm, kind. She dresses modest and has her hair grown out: she's timid, too, not befitting of a mafia boss. She's different from her younger sister.. but she's still important. She shows us another side of Schneider: and, more importantly, she shows us what-- no, who Schneider is fighting for.

Marian provides us with extremely beneficial background context of where Schneider comes from-- and, in that process, gives many of us someone to empathize with. Yes, I too know somebody at least a little like her. You do too, likely.

Maybe, you're even like Schneider-- maybe she's someone you'd aim to protect.

,,aaand that's the little lore rant. Whew! Now to study for my math finals. I hope you have a good day :)

[menticidemushroom]

Project Eden's Garden Theories + Minor Analysis 🍎

Not a specific death order theory, just an excuse to yap because I'm hyperfixating

This is very long and it probably doesn't make sense.

🐍 Damon Maitsu- Ultimate Debater

Obviously everybody has the mastermind theory. It's the garden of eden and Satan was the snake. I do agree with the Satan analogy, but more so as an "outer" symbolism as opposed to an "inner" symbolism. Let me explain that better. I think that Damon will come of as antagonistic to the group because he says the right things in the wrong way. Like how he was trying to help everyone by telling them not to trust each other, but he was a dick about. Damon will play the Devil in the perception of the cast, but I don't believe that he will be actually behind the Killing Game.

🐦‍⬛ Eva Tsunaka - Ultimate Liar

I understand the first culprit theory. Eva is a similar name to Eve, Eve is the first human to sin, Eva is the first cast member to kill. That makes sense, but I see her taking on a more Kirigiri kind of role. Smart girl sort of side protag actively tries to hunt down the mastermind. However, since she's the Ultimate Liar and the cast already seems distrustful of her, I could see Eva discovering the secret to the killing game or the true mastermind but no body believes her which either leads to Eva killing the mastermind, or the mastermind killing/framing her. (Like Junko trying to frame Kirigiri in chapter five.)

🦈 Desmond Hall - Ultimate Marksman

I don't have much for Desmond. I feel like he'll either be a victim or a survivor. I can't see him as a culprit. At least not intentionally. I could see him trying to protect someone and killing their attacker in the process on accident, but I lean more towards a victim for him.

🦢 Eloise Taulner - Ultimate Fencer

I see Eloise as a survivor, but I lean towards a culprit. It's not a strong theory, but I see them trying to flip the shrinking violet trope on its head. In the chapter one preview from the San Antonio game expo we see Wolfgang trying to "help" Eloise by offering to walk with her before they go exploring and she seems to get annoyed with him. I could see this being a way to show that Eloise isn't a fragile as she let's on.

🦩 Toshiko Kayura - Ultimate Matchmaker

I want to believe that since she's literally a baby that she won't die, but part of me believes that since she's so young she will die. My current theory is that she's either the chapter one or two victim. I could definitely see the team choosing to kill her off early as a sort of "shock value" for the cast. Because I'm sure seeing a child get murdered would be more psychologically damaging then seeing an adult die. I'll be honest my Toshiko theory is kind of weak.

🐻 Wenona - Ultimate Entrepreneur

I see Wenona as a kind of Celeste character. The whole "if you do not adapt, you will die" mindset. I could see her staying distant from the group the majority if the time. I think that she will be a culprit, chapter three specifically. In the chapter on trailer we see during her free time event that the bear symbolism they gave her represents strategy. I feel like she'll have a really complex murder plot since she's obviously smart. She's also a Native American woman in the field of business. That's obviously not something easy. I highly doubt that she would give it up so easily. Plus, she's a billionaire. As much as I love Wenona, she's evil.

🦉 Ulysses Wilhelm - Ultimate Historian

Let me start by saying tat he is my favorite. Unfortunately, that means he's going to die. He writes everything in his notebook, if that doesn't sound like a major point of discussion in a trial, I don't know what does. I could also see him surviving, but I lean more towards a victim for him. The only reason I seem him surviving is that there could be this big moment in the final trial where they have to connect several seemingly unrelated notes in his notebook to find the big mystery or whatever. Anyway, I love him and if he dies I will lose it.

🐊 Mark "Mayhem" Berskii - Ultimate Music Producer

I can see Mark as a victim or a culprit and both of them revolve around Jett. As we see in the prologue, Mark is a very shy and reserved person. Obviously this paints a target on his back and any character who has a close friendship is another death flag. I could see him being killed and Jett falling into despair, or killing somebody with Jett.

💄Diana Venicia - Ultimate Cosmetologist

Diana is a character who I feel very strongly about as a survivor. It's not a strong theory, but it's just what feels right. Most people take the chameleon symbolism to be negative, but I don't see it as good or bad. I think it just emphasize that Diana is your average sixteen year old girl blending in with the crowd. She'd not a threat, she isn't aggressive, she just a teenaged girl. She is kind, she is helpful, she loves makeup. She just wants to love her life. She's so plain that she'll blend in and she will live.

🐑 Wolfgang Akire - Ultimate Lawyer

Oh boy, here we go. This is the big one. I believe that Wolfgang will either be a victim or a survivor. He will be the antagonist, but he is not a villain. Like I said for Damn who says the right thing in the wrong ways, Wolfgang will say the wrong thing is the right ways. I truly believe that Wolfgang has good intentions, but he is so optimistic and passionate that he lets his savior complex to bring everybody into a more vulnerable state. Like Damon's snake symbolism alluding to him bring the "devil" to the group, Wolfgang's sheep symbolism shows him as the "angel" to the group. The lamb of God, the Messiah, the guardian angel. He wants to save everybody, but he can't because he doesn't accept the horrible truth of the group's situation. He wants to believe that he can bring them to salvation, but a man can never be a God. My other theory is that he will be a final chapter sacrifice. A death is necessary for the group to escape and he will accept his new role of Martyrdom. Letting him finally become the savior he wanted to for the entire game.

🦋 Kai Monteago - Ultimate Influencer

Butterflies represent change, the butterfly effect. Kai will be the first culprit and this will lead to more fear without the group causing more people to want to kill. The flap of his wings will cause the tornado of death that will plague the group for the rest of the game. Short theory, but I feel strongly about it.

🐺 Jett Dawson - Ultimate Drag Racer

As I stated with Mark's theory, I see Jett as a culprit. Either Mark will be a victim and Jett will fall into despair driving him to murder in a later chapter, or he will kill somebody to escape with Mark. The only way this would work is a motive we're the backend can bring one person with them to the outside or they find a way for Jett and Mark to both equally be held accountable as the culprit. Though I'm not sure how something lijrme that could happen since the only instance is in SDRA2 chapter three and the plan behind that was bizarre (in a good way) and I doubt they could replicate anything similar.

🦁 Ingrid Grimwall - Ultimate Blacksmith

Ingrid is the only character I can't really think of anything for. I just have a strong feeling that she won't survive. Sorry.

🐲 Jean Delamer - Ultimate Ship Captain

I can see Jean as a chapter five victim. Since we see in the chapter one demo that he takes the hope speech guy role, I can see him dying fairly late in the game either as an "easy target" or since he's getting in the way of more murders happening.

🕷 Cassidy Amber - Ultimate Pro Gamer

I see Cassidy as a survivor, but I don't have any evidence. I just can't think of a theory for her as a victim, or as a culprit. She could also be the true mastermind, which is a fairly popular theory. That makes some sense considering her spider symbolism and the whole "tangled in a web" metaphor.

Thanks for reading!

Feel free to tell me any other theories you have!

[claryshifts]

How to Safely Shift to Dangerous DRs

I've seen a lot of posts about people going to apocalyptic DRs and honestly, that's scary! To me, just scripting "I don't get traumatized" isn't going to help you when you shift back to this reality where that doesn't apply.

I know a lot of yall really just wanna meet the characters, so here are a few of the DRs I see and how to make it safer...

-Alice in Borderland:

this one is easier for me to discuss because I LOVE AiB and already have a DR for that ehehe. First off... if you really need to script some edgy lore at least script that you blocked out the trauma in THAT reality so you really don't even remember the lore. Script you have a super long Visa and every death in those games you've been in happened far from you so you never saw them coming. Script Niragi isn't a grapist asshole. The beach isn't a game site.

-The Walking Dead:

You can script you always find food and water, pick some cute comfortable outfits, script that you basically barely ever see walkers, and as you all know, in this world, it's the people that's the problem, so script you don't run into dangerous people! and ofc... you and the people you care about don't get bit, killed, or injured

-Criminal Minds:

You can script you're a computer analysis like Garcia or honestly you can pick any other career. Like I'll gladly be a pop star by day and the one who blows out Spencer Reid's back every night. Who said that...? not me... I might make a Criminal Minds dr....

-American Horror Story:

sigh idek ok I've seen some of s1 so I'll use that since I think that's the favorite season. I'm assuming you're a Tate fan and if that's the case, you can script that you knew him before *the incident*. Hell, you can say your love for him and shit kept him from snapping and looking at the way he acts I'm convinced he would've been such a cuddle bug subby baby but nooooo

-Resident Evil:

Many points similar to The Walking Dead if you're going by the original movies. If you're going by the OG og, the games, literally just don't be involved with the Umbrella nonsense. Script that every outbreak happens in a city YOU AINT IN. or just script you're in a time period with no outbreaks so you can cozy up with pookie Leon or whoever. If you really want to be involved for whatever reason, try some of the Walking Dead advice

-Dead By Daylight:

i can't believe i've seen people have this DR. idek hat to tell you. Delete your script

-Annabelle: Creation:

EXCUSE ME? Pls say sike rn ain't no way I saw that before on shiftok delete your script too

Basic Things To Script in Any DR:

-you are never injured and ofc never killed

-no one you love gets injured or killed

-you are never forced to do anything

-you never endure any traumatic events

_________________________

MY INBOX IS OPEN 😡 😡 😡 

[pikatrainer99]

Branch from Trolls has PTSD, paranoia, depression, and anxiety and you can't change my mind! (Part 1: Trolls) (SPOILERS FOR A MOVIE THAT CAME OUT 8 YEARS AGO BUT JUST IN CASE 😅)

(This entire three-part analysis was SUPPOSED to be completed in its entirety by the end of May since it's for mental health awareness month, buuuut...I couldn't finish it in time (had to take a break and take care of myself because my PTSD has relapsed lately...AGAIN... I've been getting triggered really easily by just about anything and I hate it so much 😑), but at least the FIRST part is ready in time...so here we go!

Branch is my favorite character in DreamWorks' Trolls franchise, and for many reasons. One of them being that he is very relatable. As someone with PTSD, paranoia, depression, and anxiety myself, I find it easy to put myself in Branch's tiny Troll feet and feel how he feels. (I also headcanon him as autistic, which I also am, but that's a post for another day). With this series of posts I will be analyzing his character journey and how his mental struggles affect him and his life. I will only be going over the three theatrical films in the franchise in these analysis posts, because, while his mental struggles are ABSOLUTELY present in the TV shows, I haven't seen every episode of the TV shows and I have a lot to discuss with just the three movies because I love Branch and relate to him so much.

So, to start this analysis, let's take a look at the first Trolls film. When Branch is first introduced, he is a grumpy, depressed, pessimistic gray Troll, and the only Troll in the village who doesn't sing, dance, hug, or party.

He instead chooses to spend all his time working on gathering supplies and rations for his, as he says "highly camouflaged, heavily fortified, Bergen-proof survival bunker." He lives in the bunker and has enough provisions to last him ten years…eleven if he's willing to store and drink his own sweat…which he is (gross).

Branch always feels the need to be crazy over-prepared for everything (so do I), no matter how crazy it drives the others (same here). The other Trolls all say that he ruins everything by interrupting their fun and panicking that "The Bergens are coming!" when in reality there's no Bergen in sight and there hasn't been for 20 years by that point and he's just paranoid. To them, he's basically like the boy who cried wolf…or in this case, the Troll who cried Bergen.

When Poppy invites Branch to her party, Branch immediately declines, saying that he "wouldn't be caught dead at her party" before adding that all the others "will be caught and dead" because of how big, loud, and crazy it's going to be. Branch frustratedly declares that Poppy's party is just gonna lead the Bergens right to the Trolls, and they all just brush his warning off because they haven't had to worry about Bergens in 20 years. That night, during the party, Branch is out collecting more provisions and he looks at the party from afar, scoffing at the others and their carefree attitudes before retreating back to his bunker. Before he knows it though, Poppy is banging on his door because a Bergen attacked the party and took all her friends. Branch, in his paranoia and anxiety, drags Poppy inside the bunker with him and sets up all his traps as they sit and wait in silence before Poppy tells him the Bergen is gone.

Branch, still paranoid, doesn't believe her and says that it could still be out there "watching…waiting…listening…" He clearly feels like he can never let his guard down, always on hyper-alert, checking for any danger. This is a common symptom of PTSD - hyper-vigilance (I have this symptom myself), and it can contribute to paranoia, making it even worse (it definitely does for me, and it looks like it's the same for Branch).

When Poppy asks him to go to Bergen Town with her to save everyone, Branch, with no hesitation, says no, that they're not his friends, they're Poppy's friends, and that he's staying in his bunker because his bunker is safe. He takes her down to the lower levels of the bunker, and this is where we see some obvious evidence of his mental state. There is frantic fear writing ALL OVER THE WALLS, and it says things like, "Run", "Danger", "Bergens eat us", "Teeth in the night", among many other things that are hastily scribbled and illegible (though Branch has bad writing in general, so it's already hard to read, but my point stands). He's even got multiple papers with horrifying drawings of the Bergens hung up on that wall as well. I have never really seen anyone else in this fandom talk about the writing all over Branch's walls, so I'm gonna talk about it myself. It makes it look like the poor guy spiraled, lost control, and had a manic episode…or eleven.

(Seriously, just LOOK at all this!!! This man is NOT okay!!!)

He's clearly TERRIFIED of Bergens, and wants to do everything in his power to avoid ever encountering one (which, fair, they do wanna EAT the Trolls, so that's a valid fear). Branch's fear of Bergens though, is not a normal fear, it seems to be a phobia, which would explain the paranoia. Obviously there's something going on inside his head involving Bergens that will definitely be revealed later. (foreshadowing)

Poppy completely disrespects Branch's needs, wishes, and privacy by letting all the other Trolls into the bunker while she goes to save her friends that got taken. This kinda made me upset because Branch clearly didn't give her permission to invade his personal space like that and make his own home suddenly feel unsafe with everyone there going through his stuff all at once. He freaks out when it's "Hug Time" because he doesn't want to be touched, especially not by all these Trolls he doesn't trust, so he packs a backpack and goes after Poppy, saving her from some spiders.

(This is honestly really upsetting to watch, she totally disrespects and ignores his boundaries here and it hurts to see him freak out over Hug Time because I also hate being touched, which means I also dislike hugs as a result of that...I only willingly hug my grandparents, that's it, no one else, not even my own parents.)

The whole way to Bergen Town, Branch is gloomy, brooding, and irritable. He tells Poppy that the world isn't all "cupcakes and rainbows" when she asks what happened to him to make him the way he is.

Poppy and her constant singing get on his nerves, the worst instance of this being when she starts singing at night when he's trying to sleep, making him angry enough to throw her ukulele into the campfire, burning it.

(This scene always gets a laugh out of me, the way it's animated is just perfect comedy XD)

Singing is clearly triggering for him, which we find out why later on when he adamantly refuses to sing with the others when they're trying to help Bridget get a date with King Gristle by giving her a makeover. Poppy asks him why he won't sing and he responds with (probably) the most iconic line in the entire film (and not one that people seem to be able to take seriously…but I take it as seriously as can be): "BECAUSE SINGING KILLED MY GRANDMA, OKAY?!"

(His facial expressions here as he tells the story of what happened to his grandma are just...DreamWorks nailed it, and also the knee hugging pose...he's just like me for real 🥺)

We then see a flashback of a young Branch, happy and colorful, singing his heart out, but the Chef Bergen comes for him and he's so lost in song he doesn't notice, or hear his grandma warning him.

This causes his grandma to push him out of the way, and get taken instead.

Branch is so distraught by his grandma's sacrifice, that he loses all his happiness and becomes depressed, turning gray in the process, and vowing to never sing again.

(This poor child had to witness his grandma meet her untimely demise...and he blames himself for it...that's really depressing in my opinion, I seriously don't understand why people find this scene funny, it triggered my own PTSD really BAD the first time I watched it...I'm used to it now so I don't have my PTSD triggered by it anymore but it still hurts to watch.)

Now the bigger picture is clear. He's got PTSD and paranoia involving the Bergens because of what happened with his grandma as a child. His grandma's sacrifice also started his severe depressive state, as evidenced by him turning gray immediately after she got taken. When the flashback ends, Branch is staring silently and sadly out the window, looking like he's trying not to cry, his depression getting a hold of him once again.

(Again, DreamWorks really nailed the facial expressions here...he looks so broken 🥺)

I understand how he's feeling in that scene, my grandma is my LIFELINE, the person I feel the safest with…seriously I confide in her and tell her more things than I tell my own mom because I trust my grandma more…I even stayed at her house for a while a few years back during my worst mental crisis ever just so I could have the feeling of constant safety and less nightmares…so if something ever happened to her I wouldn't be able to live with myself. Singing is a trigger for him, and so are Bergens in general…which makes me upset at the others, AGAIN, when they sing the song that Branch was singing during that time…my thoughts were like, "Come ON guys, that song is probably the most triggering song for him…" As you can probably tell, I get upset with the others quite a few times whenever I watch this film, because of how they treat Branch. Eventually the entirety of Troll Village is thrown in a pot, ready to be served for Trollstice, and it's here where Branch's character development really becomes apparent. Poppy turns gray, quickly followed by all the other Trolls, and Branch looks around at everyone turning gray, like him, and, desperate to do something about it and help the girl he's now grown to love, he finally breaks his 20-year-long "no singing" vow as he begins to sing "True Colors" in what is probably the most beautiful scene in the entire film (I know it's my personal favorite scene).

(There they all go...turning gray...and Branch is just looking around at everyone, clearly upset by this.)

(His expressions here...you can tell he's thinking, "I've gotta do something!" And he does, and it's beautiful 🥺)

Thanks to Branch, Poppy and the other Trolls are able to regain their colors, and thanks to Poppy, Branch FINALLY regains his colors after 20 years!

(He's getting his colors back! I always feel so happy when I watch the True Colors scene, it's just so beautiful and satisfying 😌👍)

(They're so cute, look at them dance together 🥺! Broppy is best Trolls ship and no one can convince me otherwise, these two are PERFECT for each other 😌)

He thanks Poppy for showing him how to be happy, stating that "happiness is inside of all of us, sometimes you just need someone to help you find it", quoting one of Poppy's lines from earlier in the film. Branch now feels comfortable singing and dancing with Poppy and the other Trolls as they teach the Bergens that same lesson by singing "Can't Stop The Feeling", which helps the Trolls finally make peace with the Bergens after many many years of fearing being eaten by them.

Poppy is crowned queen, Branch finally asks for (and gets) a hug from her even though it's not Hug Time, and the movie ends.

(They are so adorable I can't take it!)

This is not the end of Branch's journey though, there's still two more movies to cover! I'll be covering the second movie hopefully soon, so I hope you look forward to that, and I hope you enjoyed this character analysis on Branch in the first movie! If I missed anything please feel free to let me know in the comments! I sometimes miss things especially with relatable characters because sometimes there are aspects that trigger me so I try to forget about those aspects, and sometimes the character as a whole just hits too close to home and writing analyses on them is too overwhelming because of that (Branch is one of those characters, so it took me ages to write this and gather all the GIFs and images...and also this entire analysis was written ENTIRELY from my memory of the events in the first movie, so there's that part too). Also please excuse the potato quality images and GIFs...I tried my best to find good ones but most of them I found are just REALLY bad quality so...sorry about that 😅

Okay, that's about it for this post! I'll see you guys next time for another Branch analysis, this time for Trolls World Tour! Catch ya later! 👋

[l-in-the-light]

Hey 👋👀😊, really nice your analysis of Law (he's my favorite character in OP❤️). Why do you think he has a poor self-steem? I mean he must have noticed that he's very good looking 😋. At least he seems to know that he's intelligent making all these plans.

Hi! He's also my favourite! (it used to be Shanks, but he got dethroned. We all know how good Law is at dethroning people haha. But Shanks is still on podium together with Ace <3) Excellent question! I don't think it's very obvious that Law has poor self-esteem, which is why many people believe him to be arrogant. But despite the fact he is smart, he never rubbed it into anyone's face before.

He did tease Kid and Luffy a bit about choosing the directions of their islands after Wano, but that was really just an older siblings type of teasing there. In fact, he usually goes out of his way just to make sure what he says sounds easier to understand. That's actually rather considerate, not arrogant behaviour. My favourite example of that is how he changed one term Luffy misunderstood as food to a simpler one in World Seeker haha.

The first moment I asked myself the question if Law actually has poor self-esteem, was this:

The contrast here is hilarious, but that's besides the point right now. Why would he be all blue in the face and asking quietly "why me...?" when he scored as second best, podium position? This reaction just didn't fit with the supposed "he's so confident" vibe. Then I also noticed he isn't big on knowing his own bounty. Is it because he truly doesn't care about it, or is it because it actually stresses him out a bit?

Let's look at Law's novel for a bit, because I think that provides an answer (warning for slight spoilers, but mostly only for the beginning of the novel):

It happens right after Corazon dies, Law is walking to the next town, he finally arrives there, trying to ask for help. At first it takes him a lot of courage to even enter, because he gets reminded of how he was treated in hospitals, and that thought freezes him in place. It takes a while for him to overcome it, but then this situation happens and what is Law's reaction here? To run away, *blaming himself* for it, thinking it's so pathetic, that he is so pathetic that he can't be stronger than his own trauma.

I would say he still reacts this way even when he's older, always expecting himself to be better, stronger, but his trauma always catches up to him and he doesn't blame anyone else but himself. He also doesn't allow himself any sort of understanding and acceptance, he thinks he should be able to trust again, so he ends up self-loathing whenever he fails. How do you think Law felt when Doflamingo grabbed him in their fight at the rooftop and Law's body just froze, not listening to him anymore because of traumatic trigger? How did he feel about himself after Doffy used it to his advantage and cut off his arm? Because I think Law blamed himself, calling himself pathetic and weak, filled with self-hate. It did help him overcome it and get back at Doflamingo eventually, but it doesn't change the fact he achieved that by literally beating himself up mentally over a weakness that isn't even his own fault, because he didn't choose to be sick.

He often tries to be strong for his friends, despite lacking self-confidence himself.

And again, it's always for others that he managed to overcome his own fear in the end. He puts a facade, pretends to be strong, so that they don't feel so anxious anymore. He wants to be strong for them.

Even when he receives a compliment, he can't really take it at face value. He questions whether he truly deserved to hear it, not considering himself worthy of it. He never forgets where he failed (interacting with patients) instead of focusing on what he did right.

In most stressful situations he actually struggles to keep his calm. And again, what makes him overcome it is the thought that if he doesn't, people will lose their lives. There's almost none of his own ego in his (very impressive tbh) quick decisions and steady hands and thinking.

And finally, despite having confidence in his battle skills, he still doubts himself. What finally gives him confidence is his steel resolve to not lose or his friends will be in danger then. He takes it very personally, not allowing himself to show any weakness, even going as far as to say "he has no right" to show it.

All things considered, it doesn't surprise he doesn't even accept credit for the good deeds he does. When he saved Bepo, Penguin, Shachi, Wolf, or even Luffy, he always claims it was just "a whim" and that's why he doesn't need to hear thanks. He never wants anything in return for it, because it would be uncool, he claims, but I think he just knows what's unconditional help actually is.

I know Law's novel isn't officially declared "canon", but the author did a very good job at portraying Law. It's very consistent, and even though there are a few things I consider to be a miss, Law's poor self-esteem definitely isn't one.

Logically speaking, why would his self-esteem not take a major blow after Flevance? He lost everything he possibly could, without being able to save anyone. Later Cora-san also sacrificed himself for him, so again, Law took a big blow to his self-esteem, the only person who cared for him after Flevance lost their life and he couldn't do anything about it.

And then there's his sickness, Amber Lead Syndrome. He feels like people are always staring at him and that makes him quesiton whether they can tell he's sick, whether they will scream for him to get out and not come closer, whether there will be judgemental stares and then flinching away from him, just in case it's contagious. Even after visible signs of Amber Lead are gone, Law is still afraid to go back to the town. I wouldn't be surprised if his fear went all the way into his adulthood. Whether Law is handsome or not has nothing to do with it, because as soon as there are white patches on his skin he knows he will be called disgusting, and that stays in your psyche whether you want it or not. Which means it doesn't even matter if he finds himself attractive or not (my bet is on "not really", Law seems like a humble type anyway, never bragging about anything, be it his smartness, looks or skills).

As for his smartness, let's recall his ransom talk with Doflamingo. At first Law sounds very confident, after all his plan was succeeding, but the second talk? All it took for Law to lose his confidence was Doflamingo's mocking tone. That boy might think he's smart, but he knows there are people smarter than him, he doesn't let it get to his head. And honestly, that's probably the sign of smartness as well.

Seems his confidence doesn't come from high self-esteem, but because of his wish to keep people he cares for safe. And perhaps now also because of his faith in a certain Strawhat Luffy. He's kinda the perfect example of "fake it till you make it", because if not for those subtle hints, I would have never doubted he lacks in self-esteem.

In Wano he's even wearing the disguise of a travelling monk. I know everyone makes fun of his "strawbucket", but that's an actual thing: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Komuso

"Monk of emptiness" or "nothingness" from my understanding relates to a larger context of buddhism and zen, in which you aim to reach enlightnment by giving up your ego and earthly desires. Well, if that doesn't fit very well with Law, knowing what we know about him, never taking credit for what he does, faking confidence to support his friends and refusing compliments.

If anyone can think of more examples when Law shows his poor self-esteem, please do share! I feel like I'm missing a lot about it, even if (I guess) I made my point more or less clear.

[marshmallowprotection]

Hello! This is my first mysme ask so I'm very nervous haha.

I wanted to jump in on the VAE talk, but it has nothing to do with Saeran! What I don't like about the VAE is...the difference in V himself.

I don't think I have a good grasp on his character. It's difficult for someone like me to want to even try to understand him after some of the things he's done! It feels as if the VAE forces us to be in a position of being forgiving and understanding of Rika and her abuse towards Saeran for him to be happy...and that's very strange to me? Because, V, in VAE works to help Saeran while simultaneously you only get the good ending with him if you're explicitly "okay with" what she did to him?

I think either version of Another Story V is a frustrating character to delve into! Its easy to look at him and think "wow he spouts off about caring about his friends and caring about saeran but when it all comes down to it, he only cares about this one person that hurt everyone else he claims to care for"

Ray AE V and VAE V are very hard to adapt to because of this, I think? :/ Character analysis for these types are not my strong suit clearly. I know there's more to V than this, but it's hard to look past his "be okay with forgiving an abuser for me to be happy with you (VAE) or be okay with me going alongside this abuser while guilt tripping you to understand her (Ray AE)" type thing.

I think I at least understand Rika as a character better than him to be quite honest.

Let me preface this by saying that V's After Ending is a mess. It's a hot mess and it does a major disservice to Jihyun Kim in more ways than one. A lot of people really don't believe this because Saeran is my favorite character, but Jihyun is my third favorite character right behind Saeyoung. His After Ending hurts in more ways than one due to what happens in terms of forgiveness and judgement.

The game forces you into a corner and shames you if you decide to judge Rika Kim for her actions. I cannot tell you how triggering the Judgement Ending is, not only for myself, but for many others who played it. I don't suggest anyone play that ending if they don't think they can stomach being told it's "their fault Rika is suffering for them not forgiving Rika."

Nope.

It's not our job or obligation to forgive Rika Kim.

If you choose to forgive her, great, but why are we, as the players, being told that the only way to achieve the Good Ending, because, let's face it, the forgiveness ending is the real GOOD ENDING, is by being told to forgive Rika no matter how you feel about it. Cannot tell you how angry I was when that happened, and I know plenty of other people were just as upset.

When the VAE first came out, I can remember people emailing Cheritz and telling them why telling people they need to forgive another person isn't okay. I can't believe that's something that's gotta be explained. But, we live in a world where people tell us we need to forgive, forget, and get over our pain, no matter how large or small very often, and people don't think about those who don't want to ever forgive the people who hurt them or the people they love.

That's the one thing I love about Saeran's After Ending. The RAE doesn't mince words with anyone about affirmed choice. You get choices in the RAE to decide what you want in terms of forgiveness, and by God, the other characters do, too. You get to decide what you want, Saeran gets to decide what he wants, and the RFA gets to pick what they want, and you know what's great?

NOBODY'S JUDGED FOR CHOOSING ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. IT IS THAT EASY.

You are not being forced to forgive Rika in the RAE. I don't know where people get that thought. If anything, you get to tell her the truth of how you feel her for her multiple times, and the only time that the player is "nice" to her is near the end of the RAE where you speak to her to find out where Saeran is, and honestly, you can read into that as "I'm pretending to be nice because I need to find Saeran before he dies" or, if you decide to embrace Rika and forgive her on your own, you can do that and then find Saeran.

But, you're not being forced one way or another to forgive Rika here. But, in Jihyun's After Ending, you are baited into forgiving her to not get the ending that tells you that you're to blame for Rika suffering in the hospital for not forgiving her. That's being kicked for choosing to do what you want, and that's WRONG.

Jihyun himself confesses that he knows he's in the wrong with Rika in the RAE. He's given up on himself, though. He decides he has to keep his promise no matter what. That's the difficult part for most people to swallow.

His mentality is: "I need to save her because of my promise, but I also made a promise to Saeyoung, so I need to keep both of my promises even if that makes my a villain." This is not okay. This isn't healthy. It's not ever going to be okay and he knows it's not okay. He just... wants to be a savior even if it's self-destructive.

I don't like that Jihyun is hardly in his own After Ending. It focuses on judgement and forgiveness of Rika. I would've preferred to spend all my time focusing on Jihyun instead of playing a losing situation with the RFA. We had to face Rika no matter what because she is more or less the main reason why the game exists, but V's After Ending had no business being as focused on her as much as it was.

Because, in moments we do see with V, I enjoy those, because I see him reflecting and growing in as a person, not perfect, nobody's ever going to be perfect, but he was trying, and for someone who stopped trying a long time ago, it's hopeful to know that he's decided to try his hand at life once again without succumbing to self-destruction as we often see him do.

Jihyun Kim is a character that a lot of people have a hard time understanding, so if you feel like you haven't gotten a grasp on who he is as a person, I think that's understandable. Rika Kim is up there, too. I like to understand what brought them to the point they're at in the game, and sometimes, there are people who think that I do that to find excuses for their actions. I don't.

I don't find reasons to explain their actions because I want to excuse them. I want to understand as best as I can why they got to that point in the first place. Understanding someone doesn't mean you excuse their actions. It means you have better insight as to why they do what they do, and even then, understanding why someone got somewhere in life doesn't mean you'll understand their choices. It just means you see their explanation, their excuses, their reasoning, and knowing the in's and out doesn't mean you condone what they did.

It just means you learned who they are and how they feel. I know why Jihyun and Rika react the way they do at times, but I don't agree with it or excuse it. I get angry because I see them walking down a path of torture, hatred, and pain. I see them stand at the precipice of choice, and chose to ignore reality in favor of another route, and I get angry, and disappointed. Because, especially in the case of Jihyun, he was so close to making the right decision in Ray Route, but he decided to turn away from it.

Jihyun Kim regressed from making any personal progress because he saw Saeran and MC do what he and Rika seemingly did not. That is that, it's important to understand that V/Rika and Saeran/MC are narrative foils. If you want to see toxic, unhealthy codependency as it sinks deeper and deeper into a pit, look no further than V and Rika. If you want to see a couple who're trying to be individuals but also value communicating with their partner before they leap, that's Saeran and MC.

V and Rika make choices that feed into the worst parts of each other and they don't stop even when they know they could. Jihyun admits it himself in the RAE. He thinks that he has no choice but to keep his promise he made to Rika, even though he knew it wasn't healthy for him, or Rika, for that matter. Jihyun believes in his heart that he can't abandon Rika even if he wants to, because he hasn't overcome that grief in his heart over his mother's death.

He hurt his mother when he was a teenager, and he never had the chance to make it up to her or apologize. His mother died protecting him. She gave her life to save his. He thinks that love requires a sense of selfless sacrifice no matter what, that he needs to a Savior or even God to make up for his mother's death. He sees beauty in Rika's pain, she's his muse, and she looks upon him like a God for very long time. He relishes in that, because it helps him feel better about his trauma.

Jihyun was everything she wanted to be because she didn't want to be herself. She idolized Jihyun Kim. She was obsessed with him. It's just that her obsession was different than his. She wanted to become him, in every sense of word, so she would no longer have to Rika Kim. It's written in her diary that you can get from the Special Believer box.

Rika and V's love was built on infatuation, obsession, and the hurt two people had from their childhoods that had not yet healed. They helped each other "cope" but the way they "coped", was only further serving as a means to destroy both of them. I think the visual novel on Day 9 does a good job of having V express his clarity on this fact, and Rika's vehement denial of it, though, it's still messy since V isn't out of the thick of it.

This is just the start of his acceptance journey and he stills chooses to protect Rika after she stabs him at the end of this scene. It's not perfect, but... you can see the lightbulb going off.

Rika herself lives in denial within the confines of the game, and she can only face reality there is when the truth about Mother Choi is revealed. I don't know if people really grasp this at first without sitting down and looking at all the details, but Rika killed Mother Choi in self-defense. The scene is shown to us as Rika would've imagined it, and given that Rika thinks of herself as the devil, it's easy to think she did it without a second thought.

That scene plays out as Rika viewing herself as a devilish murderer who killed in cold blood.

But, that moment when she killed Mother Choi was the moment she gave up on trying to ever see herself as anything but the devil. Do you know what the strange thing is? I never once considered over all the years I've played this game that Jihyun was there with her that night, but he was. He confirmed he was there that night.

That means both he and Rika are bonded with the agonizing fact that Mother Choi is dead because of Rika, self defense or not, and they're the ones who likely had to get rid of her body or even tamper with the crime scene to protect the twins. Murder is a heavy act to carry and I know it's easy for us to joke about wishing harm onto others, but to be a person who has taken another person's life is... I cannot begin to imagine what that feels like.

I know some people feel guilt for the rest of their lives, even if the person they hurt was a bad person. Because, a life is a life, and even if you protect yours and the people you loved, you feel shameful for what you've done. My trying to understanding how that effected Rika is in no way condoning the creation of Mint Eye or the abuse of not only Ray and Saeran, but countless others, it's just another piece of the puzzle to understanding why Rika is the way she is.

Because, hey, cool tragic backstory, still murder!

But, knowing how that fact really bleeds into Jihyun's Savior complex gets you a much broader understanding of why he won't leave Rika in most situations even if that's the correct and right choice for not only him, or her, but quite frankly, literally everyone else.

Jihyun wanted to save his mother from death. He couldn't do that. He wanted to save her because she saved him, and he's wandering life with this idea that love is built on selfless sacrifice no matter the circumstance because he thinks that's what love is. Love is throwing your life away to protect the people you care about. Which, that's not what his mother's sacrifice was about. She died protecting him, but... she never would've wanted him to believe that love is about sacrifice.

She died protecting him of her own accord, that's correct, but that doesn't mean Jihyun has to spend the rest of his life trying to prove to himself that his mother's sacrifice was worth it by sacrificing his mind, heart, body, and soul all the time.

That's what he has to learn to heal.

I sometimes think the game isn't as heavy-handed as it could be to help people understand that this is what's going on inside his head, because a lot of this detail work comes from venturing out into every piece of media you can own from this game and really sitting down to put your head into what you're reading. 

It can be hard for people to understand him or to even want to understand because you get frustrated with his choices. After all, they are so self-destructive. Not only are they destructive to him, they end up being harmful to everyone around him, and that's not okay. Watching him is like watching somebody shoot themselves in the foot.

He doesn't always make the best decisions, and as you get to learn more about him, you realize that he knows he can do better but he doesn't do better for himself. I think that's an aspect of his character that makes him very human, but because it makes him so human, it's easy to be upset with him. You know he can do better and you want him to do better. It leads to a sense of disappointment in him.

People like him do exist, to an extreme degree and to a lesser degree, and I can relate to him in many ways which is why I think it's easier for me to empathize and relate to him as a person. But, it's because I do understand him so intimately that I get angry with him. I get so angry because I know he can do better than what he's doing, and it places a mirror in front of me when I make poor decisions.

As frustrating as he can be at times, he's helped me a lot as a person, and in some regard, I want to help people understand what he's like beyond being upset with him if anyone ever wants to learn about him in any way.

Understanding him will never mean I condone his choices. I can't believe I have to say this so many times, but if I don't reiterate this simple fact, people seem to misconstrue what I'm saying. I like to understand and learn why people do the things they do, but I am right there with everyone else here who is judging and holding them accountable for their actions. I want to have some answers, and even if having those answers doesn't explain anything, I feel better being able to have them.

You know how Saeran feels a little better once he's able to talk to his abusers? He needed to be able to hear what brought them to the point they are standing at today. He needed to know why they were the way they were so that he could learn how to forgive himself. He copied Rika, his Mother, and Saejoong specifically to make himself feel powerful in Mint Eye because that's what he was told to do, he invoked their words and actions against innocent people, believers and even the MC.

He feels better confronting them and having an explanation from their lips even if it's not an answer that explains why people would be needlessly cruel to an innocent person. He's not looking for excuses, he's not looking for them to give him some tragic backstory that makes everything okay, he's looking into their eyes and choosing kindness when they themselves never choose kindness towards him.

He is facing them so that he can face himself. 

Forgiving them is about learning how to forgive himself. It's not about making them feel better, and it's certainly not about letting them into his life. He has those conversations with them as a parting gesture. He's never going to meet with them ever again, but that was how he decided he would find peace for himself.

Would you do the same if you were in his shoes? I don't think I would, I don't think I can ever forgive the people who hurt me, no, I know I'll never forgive them, but Saeran chose what felt right for him and I will not fault him for that.

I will never shame him for choosing what felt right for his healing journey. He forgave them so he could forgive himself and I'm glad that he had the opportunity to make that choice and not a damn person told him not to do what felt right for him. I don't forgive Rika, and I don't forgive V for what happened in the RAE, but, I'm glad to know Saeran got his peace and that he won't judge me for what I feel.

Sometimes, you want an explanation, even if it only proves that those people don't have remorse for what they did. At least, for some folks, having that proof can he helpful. It helps you feel like walking away is the right choice for you and you did what felt right. If you don't want an explanation, if you don't want to hear it, don't seek one.

Walk away and find peace another way.

It's your life, choose what feels right for you and find peace your way.

Wow, I went off a little here, but... I think it's important to note that these characters are complex and it's easy to take away one thing about them when there is so much going on... especially with Jihyun who hasn't always been favored by company and ends up getting the short end of the stick even in his own route. He and Rika can be very frustrating for most players because nobody wants to deal with their back and forth.

I hope this helped give you a little more insight on him. It's always fun to talk about him, contrary to popular belief. Thank you for your question! I hope you feel comfortable asking more!

[kyouka-supremacy]

Atsushi for the ask game.

ATSUSHI HERE WE GO THANK YOU FOR HEARING MY PRAYERS

Favorite thing about them: HIS SELFISHNESS. It's so so delicious to explore. Can you imagine a protagonist that saves others not out of simple good will, but because of egoistic self-preservation motives? It just feels counterintuitive for me lmao, and I found it quite messed up when I first watched the anime, but now it's so compelling to explore. His whole “everything I do is in order to gain the right to live” is crazy fashinating. Because lol, that's entirely nonsensical to me! There's no such thing as “gaining the right to live”; all humans, every person in the world is inherently deserving of life. All. No exception. So there's no level of “weak” or “worthless” that would make you lose that right. The fact that's it's a vision so distant and absurd from mine, idk, it just makes it very compelling to explore? “What if there was a little fucked up guy who believed the right to live had to be earned” just sounds like a very interesting premise.

Least favorite thing about them: When I first watched the anime, I think I found him low-key annoying? I just... Don't do very well with self-deprecating people and people who complain a lot in general, I usually suffer in silence and tend to (wrongly) assume others should do the same (this probably makes me sound pretty mean, I swear I try to be understanding irl). However, it doesn't bother me as much anymore, I simply think it's more of a distinctive trait of the character that makes him multilayered and unique. As of now, I can't think of anything I don't like about him if not the fact that I wish he'd rely on Dazai and others in general a little less. I know that has to do with his lack of self-worth, so maybe it makes sense,, but as of now he feels kind of stuck. I just wish we'd see him grow more on that front.

Favorite line:

There may be better ones, but I really like the delivery of this one.

brOTP: KYOUKA AND ATSUSHI they make me go insane. Already talked about this in the Kyouka post but just to reiterate: in my headcanon Kyouka really is the only person Atsushi feels genuine, selfless affection towards. It's very sweet. They're siblings. Kyouka's happiness is really important for Atsushi. They really do have that feeling of people who got out of an abusive environment learning what normality is supposed to be like together. I also really like how they compensate for what the other lacks, be it decisiveness and coolhead for Atsushi and empathy and positivity for Kyouka. Although plenty shipping them romantically, I really like platonic sskk and atsulucy as well.

OTP: I really like sskk eheh. I think they're neat. There's a thousand and one reasons why I find them pretty great. They're objectively the only reason why I got invested in bsd as well as the only thing that has me keep up with the franchise to this day. Right now, I feel like the one thing I really appreciate about them is how you can be the worst person in the universe and still somehow be loveable to someone. I think it's sweet. I also find it very fun and enterataining to explore their various soulmatism antics. They're both very complex and multilayered characters with something deeply wrong with how their minds work that makes them very fun to analyze both by their own and in the complexity of their relationship. Their collective story arc and canon relationship progression is extremely engaging and nice to follow, too. I love dazatsu and atsulucy as well!! Both were ships I wasn't particularly invested when I read the manga for the first time, but really grew in me in the last six months or so. I really dig akuatsulucy as well!!

nOTP: Nothing?

Random headcanon: He really likes reading. There's some real meta-analysis to be made here I actually had written this is probably not the right place to talk about, but in a work that's all about literature, he's the character who reads.

Unpopular opinion: He's the hardest character to write / characterize. That's why people should probably go easier on other fans when they mischaracterize him. He's just very multifaceted and genuinely hard to get. I keep seeing people being like “Stop babyfying Atsushi he's an independent adult!!” then turn around to say “he can't be shipped with Dazai because there's too much unbalance of power :// [somewhat implying Atsushi can't make free decisions for himself]”, or “Stop making of Atsushi a soft baby who never did wrong in his life!!!” then turn around to say “Atsushi is the happy puppy of the agency who gets treats and pats from everyone ^^ ” like. At least to me, a lot of people's arguments sound self-contradictory all the time; but that doesn't mean people should stop having fun and characterize the characters as they like! Just, let's stop being mean to each other and try to be a little more accepting towards others' takes, shall we? And yes that also includes letting people find Atsushi annoying if they find him annoying (although like, I've NEVER found anyone call Atsushi annoying ever, so really, what remote fandom spaces is everyone visiting? Why are you looking for clothes (good takes) at the soup store (Tik/tok I assume?) ).

Song i associate with them: Common World Domination by Pinocchio-P, HIBANA by DECO*27, Ghost Rule by DECO*27, so on and so forth.

Favorite picture of them:

Favourite panel from the manga:

Favourite illustration: Look, there's too many beautiful illustrations, I can't chose. Here's a very good one though.

Favourite illustration in the anime art style:

But also:

Favourite Mayoi card:

Send me a character?

[thesilverlady]

Condal had to whitewash Aemond's entire character, give him traits from others, and make Aegon look cartoonishly incompetent and pathetic so he could live out his childhood dreams in his self insert. Like i am not even tg but the way Ryan keep justifying Aemond's bad deeds nonstop like he made luke nothing but a big bad bully and made his death an accident all to whitewash & justify Aemond, and now he tried the same with Aegon being murdered... Ohh poor meowmond was bullied by his mustache-twriling villain of a brother so this is why he has the right to try to kill him🥹 what now? Would he portrays the riverlanders as cartoonish villains who bullied Sadmond to hell and back so this is why it's okay for Aemond to commit genocide against them?

if you think about it, aemond is for Ryan what Daemon was for George; a favorite. Which is ultra ironic because from what I've seen in interviews I don't think Ryan even likes daemon? But anyways, I've been saving my long analysis for after the season is over but it'd be rude to ignore you, so let's go.

First things first, I think Aegon being "incompetent" at most things isn't necessarily bad, if we consider book canon where we're told he's lazy. It makes sense why for example his valyrian are probably not the best, why he struggles keeping up with the council etc

On the other hand however, you may say "Well, they've ignored 80% of the book. Aemond and Alicent get sympathy. Even Helaena gets more of a room to breathe." which in this case, yes, you're actually right.

Since the showrunners are determined to be making both sides gray that would mean show both sympathy and bad traits to a character right?

The thing is Aegon suffers a similiar fate Alicent aka the writers don't know what to do with him. In the first season they attempted to give him some sympathy by showing how he was mistreated by alicent and Otto, and show how he became awful by having Dyana and the fighting pits as an example of it.

In the second season, he should have gotten more spotlight. He should have been riding high on power, being arrogant af, celebrating his small "victories" but he doesn't get any of that. Instead he's naive with making decisions (which makes sense but instead of backing out of his decisions he should persist), he can't keep up with his own council (in the book at least he was nagging Otto about always writing letters instead of taking action), and even when b&c happens we don't see him taking revenge. We saw him destroying viserys' Lego collection instead of the man who beheaded his son. And I'm asking, why? Why not show his cruel side, why not have him torture his prisoner, taking joy of his pain. Hell, most audience wouldn't even be against him for it.

As for the Aegon x Aemond dynamic, the bullying never really made sense to me, but I'd argue the entire dynamic of the green family is very clumsily written. These people aren't loyal to one another but the care is still meant to be there, y'know?

Like, Alicent in the book is a hypocrite and completely obsessed with Rhaenyra. She still defended and believed in her children despite most of them being monsters.

Aegon had no reason to bully Aegon (aside the fact that alicent would have probably never allowed it), Aemond is the only brother Aegon gets to grow up with. He's his closest companion if you think about it.

When Jace is born, Daeron is born. So Aegon never had interest in his nephews because he was too old by then. He probably still felt envious his father was giving attention to them - which is a feeling he shared with Aemond only (given Helaena had a batter relationship with their dad)

So again, why the bullying? Not to mention Aemond is fierce child. bit of a psycho if you will. The idea that he'd just accept being humiliated by Aegon is laughable at best.

The difficulty with adapting the book is that arguably, Aemond is a very difficult character to sympathize. He's not meant to be likable. He's chaotic and an idiot with the oldest dragon and that makes him dangerous - which in turn, can make him entertaining to a certain audience.

Have you noticed how he never name calls Rhaenyra in the show? Aegon insults her. Criston insults her. But not him. Meanwhile Aemond had this weird psychosexual thing with Rhaenyra and obsession with Daemon in the book. But they only kept the latter part because it'd be harder to root for him if they had kept the first.

book Aemond is a raging misogynistic, arrogant prince, impulsive and fixated with the idea of proving he's better than others. It's why he waits for a dragon to claim when his own egg doesn't hatch. it's why he persists after his accident.

if they wanted to draw sympathy they could have actually focused on his disability. While I don't blame the Velaryon boys for what happened to him, Aemond still had to deal with permanent consequences; relearning everything; how to eat, how to read, how to swordfight. You could have a bit of disability representation there for kudos and actually dig into an unexplored aspect of his character. But nope, they only had him mad after years and even the action of murdering his nephew because of it was made into an accident. so I guess he wasn't that mad over the eye thing lol

Aaand because I feel I've been defending Aegon a bit much let me clear the air, I'm not some Aegon girly who thinks he's uwu a poor bb who talked over and never did anything wrong.

He's a rapist; both in the show and the book. In the show he enjoys watching kids killing each other, in the book he wants to murder his elder sister from the start. He's still however a pawn. Just an unaware one for the most part so sympathy is drawn there for a bit.

And there's an added irony and tragedy of Aegon arrogantly believing he and aemond were on the same side, to be celebrating his victories to the point of building him a freaking statue. One can say there's something narcissistic about it, as if Aegon views aemond and daeron as extentions to himself, making their victories his own.

Meanwhile Aemond grew up resentful of Aegon in the similiar sense he is of Rhaenyra. except Aegon is a man and a firstborn son so his laziness rubs him wrong extra hard. His mother and grandfather focused on installing Aegon to the throne when Aegon had never done anything for it. In his mind, Aemond is the one who trained, who endured after his accident, who is ambitious about power. So yeah Aegon being crowned never sat well with him.

Rook's nest remain goofy in the show and gives tb another horribly adapted death but I can't be mad about it 'cause I couldn't even stand show!rhaenys lol.

While Aemond was always going to go against Aegon he probably would have done it after the war with Rhaenyra was over. A "let them kill each other and I can deal with whoever remains" kind of a plan. And since Aegon had gotten so badly injured by the end he wouldn't even have to kill him if he didn't feel like it, just talk to him into abdicating.

But yeah, Aemond in the show is "whitewashed" as you mentioned and they made his "got bullied" storyline a core aspect of his persona so there's no saving him.

I do wonder how they'll do the burning of Riverlands and the massacre of House Strong 🤔 In showverse, going after Aegon was expected especially after the brothel scene (+the childhood we know they had.) and I can't imagine many people not rooting for him given how Aegon treated him.

So, Aegon was the "bad" guy in this case so Aemond's actions are once again lifted from him. I'm definitely curious how they'll do the other two. I can't imagine a way to twist it into him being "forced" but eh he's Ryan's fav, never underestimate the man.

I guess we'll have to wait and see

[thegoldenappleofdiscord]

Idk if you’ve gotten this ask before, but is there anything you would have changed if you wrote pjo/hoo/toa? And how would you have written it?

never gotten this ask before! and oh man, yeah, there are some things i would change. i wouldn't call myself someone who does analysis on their favorite media (at least i don't do it very often) i just read/watch and enjoy, unless there's something that seriously strikes me as Kind of Very Weird. half the time i don't mind occasional bad writing if i enjoy the media very much, which is the case with pjo, but again, there are some things that were odd to me lol. keep in mind it's been a while since i've reread so these are just things i remember vividly as being something i very much didn't like/understand.

percy jackson and the olympians:

that whole 'entwining history' with pjo thing felt weird to me: like with harriet tubman being called a child of hermes? for one, it feels unnecessary, and two, it feels as though all the things she's done, all of her bravery, wit, courage, are being attributed to her demigod status, as hermes is the god of travelers, cunning, roads, etc. it feels insensitive and not handled very well. there's also a blurb that mentions that hitler was a child of hades, that world war II was a conflict of the big three, and that the civil war was a roman vs greek conflict - again, these all just feel so insensitive to the actual historical events that occurred, ascribing all that violence and catastrophe to a squabble between the children of the big three when the actual causes of these events were so much more complicated and deep-rooted. i believe it was an attempt at trying to see where the gods fit in the modern tapestry, but i don't think actual history needs to be bastardized in order to write smth like that. there's also the issue with the "western civilization" narrative portrayed in the story, but i don't feel like i could even adequately sum up the issue here.

the fix-it: just. don't have the historical stuff? the insertion of demigods in wwII is supposed to show the destruction of these big three children in battle, and the later prophecy would supposedly give more reasoning as to why the big three can't have children. but why not just have the prophecy recited before wwII and cut out the 'oh demigods partook in wwII" nonsense? [before the war, after the diangelos are born] the gods have already witnessed wars that actual demigods took part in, such as the trojan war, and saw how terrible those effects were. and there were hardly any big three kids in that battle that were main players. if demigods who weren't of big three ancestry caused that much destruction, wouldn't that be apt enough reason, along with the ominous prophecy, not to give birth to any kids? especially because greek mythology is rife with sons trying to overturn their fathers, and said fathers trying to overturn that future. that itself gives perfect context for why this child-making ban would be introduced, and why zeus especially would enforce it (ex. attempted murder of the diangelos) because. he's literally the "son who overturned his father" (kronos.)

luke having romantic feelings for annabeth: why. why. when i was reading the series i always assumed he had spared annabeth because of their familial ties, but in staff of hermes percy describes their relationship as "luke later gaining feelings for her" which...why? lmao

the fix-it: luke does love annabeth, but as a younger sister, and it is that sibling love that makes him spare her all the times he did, and inevitably helps him break from kronos' hold. i think it's much more meaningful, makes more sense [ties into the threeway "family" conflict between thalia, luke, and annabeth], and obviously isn't weird to think about it like the aforementioned canon dynamic.

heroes of olympus:

portrayal of poc characters: now, i'm going to be honest, when i first read hazel's description, i never thought there was anything wrong with it. my rationale for this was "oh, golden eyes because she controls minerals" however many people have brought up how this feeds into the exotic poc caricature. while many characters have oddly colored eyes, i haven't done enough in depth research on the history of written poc characters and their applied descriptors, i don't want to minimize what could be a genuine issue. on another note, while i don't claim to be an expert on native american culture and tradition, i am aware of the numerous claims that native american pjo fans have made about piper, especially her wearing feathers in her hair. i think in her case it's very much cut and dry; rick didn't do his research regarding her heritage, at least in the earlier books.

the fix-it: research.

portrayal of medea (and other mythological characters): in the lost hero, medea is portrayed as a "blood-thirsty psycho," all while ignoring the terrible way jason (from the mythos, not Grace) treated her and the hardships that she went through. and that is my point - pjo does subvert some tropes, like hades being the villain [although given the fact that it is also canon his children were on the axis side, well.] but many times it falls into the same overused narratives, like medusa being characterized as the killer when in reality she was born a gorgon and often visited by heroes who wanted to kill her for glory [the version where she was a priestess was written by ovid, and ovid seems to have a passionate hatred for athena and women in general, as can be seen in his retellings.] i can understand this in pjo, but i think heroes of olympus truly would have benefited from more nuanced characterizations.

the fix it: research!

di angelo's Otherness + the ooc behavior of characters: one detail i always remember is how leo and piper behaved around nico, and the apparent...teasing? bullying? that went on behind his back - at least, it's alluded to that they both make some not-so-nice remarks about him. and it doesn't make sense to me, especially when leo and piper are both victims of bullying, have been judged for their appearance, etc. leo's literal first scene is him making fun of a bully [dylan] to jason, and in the mark of athena, when he and hazel see the vision of sammy making fun of one of hazel's bullies, leo mentions that he used to do that all the time. i think having leo and piper behave this way was supposed to emphasize nico's "not-belonging" within the argo II environment, but why at the sake of their characters? additionally, the scene were he does make those comments seems another way to frame jason as nico's "ally" [which the fandom loves to do while ignoring jason's actions towards nico in general, but that's a whole other thing lmao.]

the fix-it: don't include that post-cupid jason + leo + piper scene. there was already a layer of distrust between that group and nico, which is enough to emphasize a divide.

the detriment of caleo on leo's character arc: romance is everywhere it doesn't need to be in this second series. everyone is with someone, for better or for worse. however, while relationships like jasper and frazel are either unnecessary or badly developed, there is no relationship, i think, that is as detrimental to a character's arc as caleo is to leo. i won't be doing a deep-dive, as there are other posts on this site that delve into the issue better than i could, but i wanted to list it as one of my biggest gripes - it basically takes all his struggles with self and decides to give him a girlfriend as a shoddy fix-all.

the fix-it: there are a lot of ways you could go about rewriting this, but i'd have calypso be freed after the second titanomachy, join the hunters as her sister did - that way she could retain her immortality - and travel the world with them. khione would blast leo off the ship - maybe he gets injured and has to find his way back, thinking all the while that his friends have probably moved on, but he finds that they're all still there, desperately searching. he tells them they should have moved on, and they'd say that they aren't leaving him behind, that he's important to them more than to the mission, etc. although i think for this to work other dynamics would need to be tweaked - [no jasper after the first book; focus is instead on strengthening the lost trio's friendship throughout the rest of the book.]

the ending + gaea: i think it's a general fandom consensus that the ending for blood of olympus left much to be desired. the final battle felt so rushed and...didn't make much sense to me? how do you lift a being who is the earth...out of the earth...? and that's the main issue with me, honestly. how do you defeat the earth? there was that whole "scatter her essence" blurb at the end of the book, but that also didn't make much sense to me. gaea as a villain seemed like a bad choice because a.) her rising up to destory the olympians because of their treatment of her children is a repeat of the gigantomachy, just as pjo is a second titanomachy. it feels like the same narrative is being recycled, and b.) because she is the earth. a primordial being. i don't know how to re-hash this, but it's simply unrealistic to have a band of teenagers defeat an entity as old and powerful in a handful of chapters.

the fix-it: different villain entirely! at least, that's what i would do, because i can't think of a way to destroy the earth that doesn't involve actively poisoning it/j. there are a plethora of interesting mythological figures who would make for good antagonists, and also shed light on issues besides the ones pjo already touched on.

trials of apollo: i have not reread this series in a long while, and unlike the others can't remember as vividly the details, but the thing i remember bothering me the most occured in the dark prophecy, in which two lesbian hunters of artemis describe how they had to leave the hunters on account of their relationship. @solisaureus has an in-depth post about this which effectively sums up the issues and goes into other problems with the hunters, and i think they break it down better than i do, so go check that out!

the sun and the star:

pacing: i enjoyed the book but did feel like it was paced weirdly - for a book all about a couple journeying into tartarus, they only entered tartarus during the last hundred pages. i think this contributes to the bad fight at the ending, too, as it felt very rushed. i think having the couple spend a lot of time in the underworld was supposed to establish will's discomfort and the later conflict, but three hundred pages is a bit much. i also find it difficult to believe that nyx, the literal definition of night, was defeated so quickly, or defeated at all. i did enjoy her as a villain more than i did gaea, but i had the same problem of being dissatisfied with the ending battle.

the fix-it: i feel like having the villain be akhlys would make sense. as the goddess of misery, she might want to convince nico that grief is eternal, inescapable, and that he may as well succumb to a life of tragedy. buuut that would also mean no cocoa puffs. and i like the cocoa puffs - so this one is a bit up in the air for me!

plague will: this is personal to me because i love this headcanon and when it became canon i was all "oh, woah" but then it was. never brought up again lmao.

the fix-it: have him use it earlier in the book [perhaps discover it when he goes out by himself] and try to suppress it, but eventually learn that his negative emotions + memories - "darkness" - shouldn't be suppressed, but rather released; that those aren't things to fear. or at least have him talk about it later with nico and try to sort out what their existence means for him. [there are other problems with tsats that people did bring up, but i don't actually have issues with them - i.e. "the first kiss," "coming-out scene," continuity errors, etc. the coming out scene is especially controversial, but my only issue with that is that nico asked out will without considering will's closeted status. the continuity errors aren't really something to dedicate a whole bullet point to, seeing as rick's timeline is eternally convoluted and just not worth getting irritated over at this point.]

if you want me to elaborate on any of these in a second post i can! thanks for the ask!

[trelinha9]

Hi

I can't sleep, so don't be surprised if nothing in this post makes sense (it does in my head, but who am I to talk, right?)

I really like character analysis and things like that, Liko and Amethio are my favorite characters from Horizons, and there are many interesting parallels between the two that I keep discussing with myself in my head. Amethio is a character who is used very sparcely, but whenever he is around, something important happens or is happening, which is intriguing, to say the least.

So, starting with the Gibeon and Lucius thing. I don't think Gibeon is actually Ametio's grandfather (his father's father). If Gibeon really knew Lucius, then he was alive for about 100 years, and it seems unlikely to me that he would have a grandson as young as Amethio at that age. My headcanon is that Gibeon is higher up in the family tree, and Amethio just calls him grandfather for sake of simplicity (also it would be kind of weird to say great-great-great-great-grandfather).

An idea that had crossed my mind after episode 54 is the following: Lucius (Liko's ancestor) and Gibeon (Amethio's ancestor) were friends. Hamber (I don't think he has any blood relationship with Amethio, but he acts like a grandfather figure to him) and Diana (Liko's grandfather) were friends. This made me wonder if Amethio's father (who failed his mission or betrayed the Explorers, we don't know) had known or even been friends with Luca, Liko's mother. Luca hasn't met Amethio, and we don't even know if Liko talked about him to her, so a meeting between the two would be nice, and could clarify some things.

(I'm not going to talk about the theory that the president of the company Friede worked for is Amethio's father, just for the record)

It's interesting to me that, as a pendant, Terapagos only activated that protective shield twice, and both times, Amethio was involved. Diana says that nothing ever happened to the pendant when it was with her, and maybe that's because it takes a relative of Lucius and a relative of Gibeon nearby to awaken Terapagos? So Terapagos only woke up when Liko and Amethio met, and when Terapagos left the pendant form permanently, Amethio was nearby (we know he watched the whole Moltres mess in episode 23). And when Terapagos first entered terastal form, guess who was nearby? It's a pattern. Whenever something relevant about Lucius and his Pokémon is happening, Amethio is nearby. The only exception was Arboliva at the beginning of the anime (Spinel was watching, but he doesn't seem to have anything to do with this Lucius thing)

A really cool parallel between the two is that both Liko and Amethio have two Pokémon, one from Paldea and one from Galar (Floragato and Ceruledge for Paldea, and Hattrem and Corviknight for Galar). Could it be pure coincidence? It could. But what's the fun in watching a series and thinking it's all a coincidence?

I have to rewatch the entire series with a notepad to catch all the parallels between these two, because, seriously, there are a lot. Liko and Amethio are in completely opposite situations: Liko is supported by the adults around her, she gains training, affection and comfort. Amethio has none of that. His co-workers despise him (Sango calls Amethio pampered, and it is said that Spinel literally hates him), and a huge weight is placed on his shoulders, for being related to Gibeon and wanting to prove himself to him.

Amethio's part in the second opening still gets me to this day. He's in a dark room, training, falls to the floor, and the lyrics say "run, towards my future".

The question I have is: does Amethio have a future outside of the Explorers? Does he have any idea how wrong his situation and the way people treat him are? Does he have any idea that he could leave the Explorers behind and be happy? That he owes them nothing?

The answer to all these questions is obvious: No. No, he doesn't know. No, he has no idea. Amethio believes in what he is doing. The only reason he's in the Explorers is because he's Gibeon's grandson. He doesn't have a personal ambition, like Spinel, and he doesn't like to set everything on fire like Sango. He is a teenager.

I hope to see a lot more of Ametio in this arc. And, most importantly, I want him and Liko to interact!!!

[meldingintheunderdark]

I've been reading your metas. While I do agree with some of your points there is one thing I can't help but strongly disagree on. I think Halsin enjoyers are aware of Halsin's faults, his trauma, his struggles. We don't all think he's "a healthy partner devoid of problems" but I believe in my opinion, that Halsin has the potential to heal, to do better, and maybe this commune can help him and help others, not fully per se but help heal in some way. It's not going to be smooth sailing, there will be bumps along the way, Halsin does need support, there's no denying that. I don't think Halsin enjoyers are naïve to that, we just want to see him happy as well. But reading these metas feels like... there is no hope for Halsin, the children in his care are doomed and I don't think that's the case. It won't be easy but not hopeless, it won't be perfect, there is still room to grow and learn (though I am following a more tav mindset than a dark urge mindset)

Thank you for reading my metas!

It's embarrassing but English isn't my first language, therefore I might not be as clear as I thought.

This said, I've mentioned many times my headcanons are my own. I don't believe Halsin's dream will explode in a great ball of fire but it'll most certainly not be as happy and lighthearted as it is in game. There will be consequences and not all of them will be positive.

Reading your comment, I fail to comprehend the issue.

Isn't it obvious there is no correct way to interpret Halsin's actions? Isn't it evident our perception and understanding are heavily influenced by our own life experiences, our knowledge, our fields of study, work, mental health, etc? Everything I write is inherently subjective.

From my point of view, when you read my metas, it's crystal clear I have a colossal obsession with fatherhood, unhealthy coping mechanisms or even avoidance regarding mental health, and the pain they cause to oneself and loved ones. I relate so intensely to Halsin, thus I'm extremely critical of his choices. You prefer to focus on him partly healing thanks to nine wagons of children. To each their own. I relate to him because his hurt hurts others unintentionally and I want to talk about this.

I also have every right to voice my thoughts, to be upset for dumb reasons and to share my questionable opinions. I haven't done any proper case study of the Halsin-centric fandom. Nevertheless, it's hypocritical to pretend the fandom isn't overwhelmingly focused on a positive analysis of Halsin and his ending, hence your reaction. It's just how fandoms work. Some opinions are overly represented, therefore an echo chamber is created and maintained. It's also very human to yearn for a comforting character who does good, tries his best and succeeds. I find comfort in a character who is hurting, hurts others and, paradoxically, is so very selfless, good-hearted and caring. I'm not saying Halsin is abusive or so foolish he'll doom the world. I've not claimed Halsin won't learn to live with his trauma, won't be happy or won't help people. The commune seems filled with traumatized adults and kids, Halsin is no therapist. Good intentions don't magically lead to solely good outcomes. Some may be fantastic. A few neutral. Others damaging. It's life.

Every content created is not made for you specifically either. If my posts are unpleasant, and I'm aware they can be, please spare yourself and block me.

Last but not least, I am a Halsin enjoyer. He's my favorite character. My tumblr is about Halsin and my Durge. They'll have their well deserved happily ever after. I simply imagine more heartache and pain than you do.

[chirpsythismorning]

You can't expect people to take you seriously if you're not providing any proof? If Will and El are twins and Joyce and Hopper are their bio parents, why don't any of them know about it and why haven't there been any hints about it? I'm not even trying to be rude here I just haven't seen any evidence. Let alone strong evidence

I've gotten a few confused asks about this theory and how it just doesn't make any sense..?

I'm not saying that I completely understand the ins and outs of how it works, in fact I'm still completely immersed in theorizing and not being certain of anything! Quite frankly, I don't understand it (how time works/the rules of the game), though I think that's necessary because otherwise everyone and their mother would have guessed this surprise by now if it was any more obvious than it already is.

I also just feel kind of bad about spoiling what could possibly be going down, especially bc this would clearly be a series long surprise.

I've been theorizing for months now with @shippingfangirl013 about this. It started with us sharing thoughts about Twelvegate and just sort of piecing together s4 lab scenes and then eventually going back to the beginning to see what we might have missed from this new lens, that being the possibility that Will is Twelve. And that's when we realized A LOT of stuff has been overlooked from the very beginning, which provides not only answers to certain questions we had, but also brings forth even more questions that we wouldn't have come up with, had we not looked back further into the details in the first place.

She has a bunch of posts that are severely underrated in regards to this whole theory, so I urge you all to check those out:

Twelvegate Theory: Drowning in the Quarry and Will & El (Part 1)

Twelve Actor Resemblance to Young Will Byers

Stranger Things S5 Conglomerate Twelvegate Theory (Part 1)

Conglomerate ST S5 Theory Parallels

Also be sure to keep an eye out because she has some really big brain analysis in the works that you dont want to miss. I can honestly say she plays a big role in why I feel fairly confident about this theory, because I myself didn't really believe it at first. But now, after everything I've seen, it's kind of hard not to.

Even if you don't like this the idea of this theory or just simply don't believe the evidence presented that you've seen thus far, at the very least looking at this could expand your ability to look further at other details on the show and even pick up on evidence of your own. I find that more often than not, knowing about the existence of certain overlooked details allows you to find even more overlooked details that others missed.

For the sake of your doubtful ask, and for anyone else who isn't even considering this theory because it seems too far fetched, I'm going to share some of my favorite unhinged evidence for whatever the hell gate we're calling this...

But first, here is some basic context for the chaos that follows.

Something important to note, is that we don't meet Hopper, El or the Byers the night that Will went missing. We only met Will and the party. Instead they saved the rest of the main character's introductions (his family, mind you) for the following day, after Will had gone missing. This also means they saved their introductions for AFTER the big power outage that happened that night right before he disappeared.

I find this interesting because this choice allowed them to make those introductions feel arguably 'starting point'/reset-like (like in a video game).

You'll also note there is a 'Pizza One' box in that first scene when the party is in Mike's basement playing their campaign, moments before that power outage. This could have been a hint that the very start of the pilot episode at the Wheelers may very well be the OG timeline, that we've been straying from ever since. And so let's say hypothetically, if we had met Hopper, El and the Byers BEFORE that power outage, whose to say their lives wouldn't have looked slightly different...?

The first time we are introduced to Hopper is in the scene directly after the opening credits, which was right after the scene of Will disappearing in the shed. Hopper is sleeping on the couch in his trailer, wearing both his daughter's blue bracelet and his watch. We also get 3 references to keys in this scene (a 2 ft long key decal in the literal opening shot). And if that's not enough, what follows is Hopper getting ready for work, putting a yellow pen in his pocket near a painting of an owl, before grabbing his keys and walking out the door.

The first time we are introduced to Joyce (the Byers), follows directly after the scene with Hopper, where Joyce just so happens to be looking everywhere for her keys, Where the hell are they?, followed by finding them on the couch, despite already looking there previously with no luck (interesting Hopper was sleeping on the couch with Willel symbols on his wrists only moments before this hmm). We then get a shot of Joyce showing concern over Will not eating breakfast, followed by scolding Jonathan for forgetting to wake Will up, adding I've told you this a thousand times, before she walks past an owl on the wall in the hallway and opens the door to another owl on the wall in Will's (unoccupied) room...

Let me just say, for the sake of this fictional family, I hope to god they haven't been through this thousands of times. Though I fear they might have. At least more than once...

There are a lot, A LOT of scenes that go down like this. As the show progresses, we get a lot of references to time passing and confusion and impatience and it almost feels like they themselves know deep down this isn't their first rodeo, and yet they're still playing along bc how exactly can one question their reality?.

The problem right now for me, is that I don't understand the rules of the game. How does time work? What even is the goal of the game (to win, I presume?)? Maybe Vecna's having to keep reseting the time loop, to get the results he wants, and over time he's getting closer and closer to the results he wants, but it will ultimately (predictably) lead to him failing once and for all in the final season, when all is inevitably revealed?

Hypothetically, if this is all some game/pocket universe Vecna has thrown our core characters into, essentially surrounding them with 'fakers', then how do we know what is/isn't real? Or I guess whether or not we're in a timeline/loop either closest to, or furthest away from the original timeline? That's why it's hard for me to go further in terms of definitively piecing everything together time wise. Not only that, but we also don't even know for sure what Vecna wants from Will and El, truly.

But I do think that a lot of the answers to the truth are hidden in plain sight.

If you're genuinely curious, I encourage you to rewatch the show for yourself to see if you can pick up on things! Be sure to keep an eye out for keys and owls in particular. Also, El's flashbacks of Mama/the rainbow room might prove to be important... like, literally slowing down and pausing and screenshooting every single frame level important...

Who knows, you might even stumble upon a completely different undiscovered theory in the process!

On that note, here is just a slice of my favorite evidence in regards to this theory, that will hopefully open your mind to the possibility:

When Hopper asks about Lonnie's whereabouts, Joyce insists TRUST ME HE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS. They made sure to keep the keys on the wall OUT of the frame in those shots referencing Lonnie by name specifically. However, when the conversation circles back to Will, and then follows after with Joyce telling Hopper to find her son, the keys are once again visible in both of their shots.

This scene right here is pretty epic. We all interpret Hopper's investigative skills throughout the series as him just being good at his job. But I would argue this scene in particular gives off very intense deja vu. It's as if Hopper knows where to look, because he's done this before. It's as if he's getting a gut feeling in certain areas that actually could be close to the truth, because this is his thousandth time doing this (Jesus, for their sake, I hope that's not the case).

Still, Hopper showcases a lot of unbelievable detective work throughout the show, and I think it could very well be hinting at him drifting in and out of awareness over the fact that he has done this before, which allows him to make such incredible guesses that lead him to the answer sooner than he would have in any normal situation (and yet, never too close...)

Has this always been here? That's what Hopper asks about a dent in the wall. We interpret it as maybe Hopper trying to figure out if this could be connected to Will's disappearance. But what if it's more than that? What if it hasn't always been there? What if this is a glitch in the matrix of sorts, and he noticed that glitch, bc this isn't his first time doing this? (Also peep the owl that shows up at the very last second in the shot directly below, with Joyce and Hopper in the frame, just as he gets the urge to check the backyard...)

This scene... This fucking scene ya'll. It just doesn't make any sense. This is one of several scenes throughout the show that have so many unanswered questions. I think it's because something else is going on that weren't not supposed to understand yet. That shot with Hopper encased in a rainbow is cool and probably means something... Hopper intensely walking into the frame as he steps towards the shed, with the upside down horseshoe above the door also probably means something...

Hopper literally walks up straight to where Will was in the shed the night previous, bc he's just that good of a detective. Yeah, okay... Suddenly the light overhead is blinking dramatically, only to switch off completely, which leads Hopper's eyes to catch this makeshift fort in the corner of the shed. Before he even gets a good look at what he's seeing, he's interrupted by Callahan, pulling him out of his deja vu state, followed by the light switching back on instantly, as if the occurrence was all in his head.

This also happens a lot, where our main characters are being interrupted by other characters, only seconds before they were close to solving something. And I just find that interesting...

This one is kind of peak comedy because, all it's doing on the surface is implying that Joyce and Hopper have a romantic history, but it also sneakily involves Will in the joke, as evidence that they have been intimate... The Chief and her, they've screwed before huh? ...WILL! That a 'yeah' or did they...

To be honest, I was really doubtful about Joyce and Hopper being El and Will's biological parents at first, even despite believing twelvegate and the possibility of them being twins. And this doubt mostly came from the scenes we get with Terry aka El's 'Mama'.

Initially, I had convinced myself it would be too sad, considering how much backstory we got about Terry. But @shippingfangirl013 made me realize that there is something very off about these scenes with Terry, that I think kind of went over all of our heads.

First of all, Mama is essentially the equivalent to the name Papa, and so we should start by unpacking that. Why didn't the writers have El distance herself from that exact association she links to Brenner, by just having her call Terry 'mom' like most kids call their mother? It doesn't seem that serious on the surface, but again this is a choice the writers made... Maybe it's because they wanted the audience to subconsciously associate those two with each other (Papa/Mama)? Also peep Jim giving Will Byers vibes, all lit up by the sun like Jesus (or I guess... God?) below!

The main thing I want to talk about though, is that despite Terry's vegetative state, she's still managing to give us hints about how she feels and what she thinks, with very subtle micro-expressions.

When she meets Hopper and Joyce in s1, Terry looks completely unsurprised. You could say she looks the same all of the time, because of her vegetative state, and while I mostly agree, there are some outliers in the mix.

When Joyce mentions El being her daughter, what we get is a reaction shot of Terry dramatically closing her eyes for an extended period of time, almost like she's experiencing frustration over them woefully misunderstanding the truth behind what's going on.

And I think that's kind of the whole point of the vegetative state here, that perhaps if Terry could say what she wanted to say, it would give away the truth that has been hidden all along, AKA Joyce and Hopper are El and Will's true parents. When Joyce then mentions her missing son, showing Terry a picture of him, this woman LITERALLY turns her head to the right, looking straight up annoyed... Why? Why would she do that unless this is her ?/? time meeting them, hearing this same old silly charade?..

But then here... THIS moment when Hopper asks about Brenner and Terry's relationship with him, that's when it gets interesting. Terry doesn't look exhausted over their ignorance anymore like she seemed to be in the moments previous. Now, she's back to her stare of nothing, and yet seeing this in contrast to her micro-expressions, almost adds a new layer to what this could possibly mean... Perhaps this could be hinting that Hopper is a lot closer to the truth than he realizes, warranting a knowing look from Terry, with her almost impressed, thinking Damn Jim, maybe you'll figure it out this time and I can finally be released from this hell...

This might seem like a reach to assume Brenner and Terry had any sort of relation beyond her being a lab volunteer, but something I think you might be interested in knowing, is that Terry has a little collection of Bonsai tree books beside her chair... Bonsai... does that remind you of anyone...? (If you check out those posts by @shippingfangirl013, you might know what i'm referring to...)

The fact that Hopper even mentions Brenner and Terry's presumed connection to him is just one other example of Hopper subconsciously picking up on things he discovered in previous loops that are close to the TRUE truth, allowing him to narrow things down quicker this time around, without needing to take all the steps to get to that point.

An owl behind both Joyce and Hopper here, while they talk about what allegedly happened to Terry and her daughter Jane.

And there you have it folks, the acknowledgment that the truth could have been covered up, the moment Hopper stands in front of the owl artwork (literally covering it up). Owls, which have been tied more than anyone else to Hopper, Joyce, Will and El (tying them together?).? Also the crib between them... Nothing to see here.

This one is pretty self explanatory. We even get a parallel to this in s4 with El AND Will, though next time they'll confirm Hopper's role in the equation. So, be ready for that...

These scenes are so important to this theory because despite them all being separated (who knows how many times now), they have this epic finale of coming together. We get these really heartfelt scenes with El and Joyce and Hopper, Will and El, and then Will and Joyce and Hopper, and it's all very emotional and just so much deeper knowing that the truth could be that they're all tied to each other more than we (or even them) realize.

11 & 12 between the two hands on the clock, in a moment that parallels X-Men and also the lab massacre (which presumably had both 11 and 12 in attendance...). Mike calling out to El emotionally the moment that Joyce and Hopper are reunited with Will. My heart can't take it!!!

Someone actually noticed this shot of Hopper recently, I can't remember who! But it made me want to go back to see what shot is right before it. And low and behold, it follows directly after a shot of the Byers family reuniting. Kind of interesting they made the choice to have this shot right afterwards, of Hopper sitting next to Ted (aka a dad), while looking lost in thought as he stressfully bites his nails, with his arm sporting his daughter's blue bracelet...

Not suspicious at all. That creepy shadow behind Owens as he makes an almost knowing comment about Joyce and Hopper being 'Mom and Pop', followed by Hopper looking like he's missing something...

And for this scene to follow shortly after? Hopper literally acknowledging Owens whose waving at him politely, and yet choosing to not wave back at him?... He KNOWS something is off, but he just can't quite put his finger on it...

As you probably know, most of the scenes with the birthday mug in Mike's basement involve either El (in s1) or Will (in s2-3), which is interesting considering the other few notable birthday references we get in the show, including this really cryptic sequence above, involve Joyce and Hopper...

Now, if you still didn't believe me about Terry's behavior being off, I think this piece of evidence might help support our claims a little bit more for you to consider. Because, why, WHY when El approaches Terry in the void and says I'm home, is Terry's response No..? Why would that even make any sense? Why would El's biological mom say No to her missing daughter implying that she is her family? Unless, she's not of course...?

Something interesting about the flashbacks that Terry shows El, is that they're very sporadic and hard to understand. Not only that, but we STILL get callbacks to these memories heavily even in s4, which tells me there is still something there that has yet to be picked up on, by both the audience and El herself, which is why they keep resurfacing in different forms. My favorite moment out of the s2 flashbacks though is probably this moment where it looks like a baby is born, only for Brenner to look back, like there's more to come (another baby?? TWINS?). But this type of twin imagery, only gets stronger in s3-4...

After 2 seasons of building up this meeting of these two characters who have been mirroring each other since the very beginning, here we are... Also, why even hold back for so long in introducing them? Maybe because them finally interacting properly is going to cause some things to resurface... And you definitely don't want to overlook these shots of Hopper and Joyce in Melvald's with two baby's in between them, followed by a shot of keys... Hmmmm.

Remember when I said to pay attention to the Terry/Lab flashbacks El experiences over the seasons?

Well this particular flashback below comes from 3x06: E Plurbius Unum aka the episode that was originally titled The Birthday, might prove to be important...

Jonathan and Will in a scene prior to El's flashback, has them situated interestingly between this Lucky Charms box and this Spill & Spell game, which is then followed by this scene with El experiencing flashbacks... And...

Rainbow? Lucky (Upside down horse shoe...) Enter flashback

I'm not going to be able to show each frame of this flashback, because in total there are over 30 different quick images shown and repeated...

And so, If you want to find out why this is the strongest piece of evidence for Willel twins in my opinion (brought to you by @shippingfangirl013's big brain), go back and rewatch to see how many times they show the image of baby El and young El in the rainbow room... Also take note of how shots of Kali (008) are interspersed consistently within this flashback, aka a character that is known for having powers to make people invisible, and to also make people see things that aren't actually happening...

Here's that parallel I mentioned earlier making a return, but instead tying El (and arguably Will) to Hopper being their biological father. Also peep El's bracelet and Will's watch being prominent in a lot of their shots together throughout s4, now that they share the screen a lot more.

The Wright Bros...

No, but seriously, Willel's bracelet and watch mirroring each other often in their scenes together, and by association also paralleling Hopper wearing one of each, dramatically showcased in his introduction to the series, can be something so personal to me...

THEY'RE TWINS YOUR HONOR!

This one really goes off. A car passes by a couple times during this flashback El has (IN S4), causing a shadow to cast behind Will, almost creating this duplicate-like effect... This is literally happening while El is having a flashback to her 'birth mother', while staring at a family (with their faces warn out/blurred) on a billboard, with an arrow pointing towards where Will, aka her twin, is standing to the right of her...

This one below has gotta be my favorite though. And it's because I literally remember watching this scene the first time and being confused?

Tbh, that's when you know something is more complex than it appears. Whenever something feels off within the context provided in the moment, it's probably because there's something deeper going on and there are multiple meanings at play. This means they're using this small moment as an opportunity to provide dual meaning in plain sight, that we wont understand the dual meaning of until later on down the line.

Are you ready..

Hmmm. I wonder what this could possibly be alluding to? Could it perhaps be the writers hinting at Hopper unintentionally projecting his own situation onto Dmitri? Is it possible who Hopper believes to be his child (daughter... son(s?)?) and his (ex)wife, are not actually who he and everyone thinks they are...?

Well. There you have it! These are just some of the many, many hints hiding in the details that point to the possibility of the Byers actually all being, Hoppers...?

For now, this is just a theory! So even though it's cool and there is a serious amount of evidence pointing to it, it will most definitely continue to transform and look different over time, the more we look deeper and discover more. Nothing is set in stone, for now it's all just theories and speculation.

Again, if you're curious about what else there is out there in regards to this theory and other possibilities surrounding it, please follow and check out @shippingfangirl013 posts! She was way more on board with this theory than me in the beginning and arguably still is, because I do still experience occasional doubt about it, for sure.! And so without her I would not have come to half of these conclusions! I look forward to you guys seeing other stuff she's discovered bc seriously... Her poor storage ya'll.

And also, if you're interested in the time-loop aspect specifically in regards to this, I encourage you to check out two recent posts I did about this. Part I actually starts with those first scenes introducing Hopper and the Byers and how other scenes later in the show parallel it. VERY VERY cool stuff, and tbh if you've made it this far, I think you'll be intrigued...

Time Loop Fuckery in Stranger Things Part I

Time Loop Fuckery in Stranger Things Part II

[thatlittledandere]

PLEASE talk about xoxo droplets omg. im no thoughts head empty rn but tbh just i wanna hear every opinion you have about it,, i love when people share my Extremely Unknown Special Interest

Every time I think about how to explain the main characters to someone unfamiliar with them I can get through Everett and Shiloh just fine, normal short synopses, but THEN. NATE LAWSON. TRAPS ME FOR HOURS. Nate isn't even my favorite but I'm obsessed with him oh my god. This is gonna have spoilers for his route btw hold on

Like. I met him, and thought, in a true JB fashion, hot damn. He, he's easily the most attractive of the bunch to me shrsvhddh (Everett has so many qualities I love on paper but in practice. It's Nate he's the most handsome) Then I started to observe why he's in the Unfriendable Group and deducted that he's got a stick the size of a log up his ass. Simple enough. But WAIT THERE'S MORE

I started his route PURELY because he was hot shhddvhgd even though I disliked him hard after my first playthrough. (Shiloh. I didn't believe the warnings. F in the chat bois.) He's not JUST a stickler to the rules nooooooo he's a PERFECTIONIST. And a SUPERHUMAN. But HE doesn't see it like that nooooo he thinks he's just the only one who puts in any effort at all. People keep telling him his standards are unreachable but ~obviously~ they're not. If he can do it, so can everyone else! They're just not trying hard enough! And he doesn't try to be perfect, no, that's impossible. He just wants to be the best he can!

But it's never enough. There's always room for improvement, after all. Nate could get a perfect score on a test and still be dissatisfied, because he could have elaborated on that point in his essay more, or his handwriting got too close to the marginalia on one line and that is unprofessional, or he thought on that one multi-choice question longer than he should have if he studied adequately, etc, etc.

And because of this he's constantly stressed the FUCK out. He volunteers when something needs to be done, he helps out teachers, he takes it upon himself to make sure everyone else is ALSO acting properly, he puts at LEAST 100% into EVERYTHING he does, and there's always more to do. He has a part-time job at a warehouse as well and while the physical labor can offer a bit of a break for his brain, you can bet your ASS he doesn't stop for ONE second or stay on his break a MINUTE too long. How the hell does he live like this?

Well. What other choice is there? Things need to be done. They need to be done well. And obviously Nate knows the importance of rest to your health and performance, so he certainly eats and sleeps properly, but see these things are also scheduled and measured and optimized for maximum efficiency. But does he get REST, for REAL? Does he RELAX?

Yes, because he's best friends and roomies (the room is spotless At All Times) with Everett "2kool4skool" Gray (who would shoot me point blank for saying something so uncool about him). I Could write another essay on their dynamic but let's just say they balance each other out. Nate gives Everett direction, Everett gives Nate respite. Phew.

But I'm not done. MORE MORE MORE. Because I started talking about my personal relationship to Nate but got sidetracked by character analysis dghfsfh THE THING IS I disliked him heavily even some time after starting his route, and all the characters absolutely SHINE on their dates. But then. The unthinkable happened.

The class trip.

Now of course I already knew Nate was extremely high strung all of the time, but until that point I'd seen it either as an annoyance or a joke. But the class trip was, like, a disaster to Nate. He's spending more time with the group outside strictly defined areas and activities and therefore feels responsibility over their behavior. Obviously a new environment with new activities gives everyone more opportunities to act up. They have a schedule, but it's not in Nate's control, and he can't help seeing himself as like a vice advisor, and nothing goes exactly as planned or at ALL as planned, and everyone's doing it on PURPOSE his life is already hell and they're doing it to SPITE him or maybe they're just completely unfit to the title of human being that's been forced on these demons, and this is STILL SCHOOL they're still bound by school rules and they should LEARN things here and GET SOMETHING OUT OF IT for HEAVENS sake,

So it's no wonder he breaks down. And it was, it was fucking terrible. Nate's stress and anxiety present as anger most of the time, I didn't... I didn't see him as the type who would cry. Kind of figured Nate was one of those boys who didn't remember the last time they cried but guessed it was somewhere around fourth grade? Heartless of me. I really thought he was like. Pardon the expression. Above such vulnerability.

Of course he's not. He's a person, and a highly sensitive one at that. I guess I hadn't noticed it over what a hardass he is;;; And y'all I felt SO bad. And so awkward. Like. What the fuck do you do in that situation? This wasn't supposed to happen. It felt like we were breaking the script somehow. Like. "I'm not supposed to see this. Why am I seeing this? Do I need to? Fucking christ. Is this allowed? When can I leave. Uh. There there? Can't even pat him on the shoulder. Jesus just kill me"

And that scene changed everything. Nate cried in front of the MC and I could never see him in the same light again. I used to think he was kinda just a tough yet guarded guy and a demanding ass but oh wow he's actually just like. This dude has anxiety. This dude has problems. He's burning out at light speed and has been for the past what? Eight years?? Get him HELP.

And I HAVEN'T EVEN TOUCHED ON HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS PARENTS YET. So they're the type who saw having children as just a step that responsible adults take at some point in their lives, and they were not prepared. And Nate was a difficult child too. Not on purpose, obviously, babies don't do anything on purpose, but he was particularity emotional even as a baby. He's just Like That. So his parents ehm eeeurgh tolerated him for a few years. Just kind of. Pushed through it. And then decided to give up and send him to a boarding school. Like they basically abandoned him there because they couldn't handle him.

And Nate is on hard denial about this. He tells himself it was the reasonable choice and the best for everyone, and he's not wrong, but he's also not ready to face the fact that uh. His parents very much just are not good at parenting and they don't actually know each other at all. "I respect them and they respect me" is how he puts it, and again it's not wrong but also christ he was not truly loved as a child and still isn't. Mommy and daddy hear that his grades are top of the class and he's very mature and responsible and respected by staff and students alike, and they're proud of him, but they do NOT know who he is as a person or how fucking terrible he's actually doing.

Not that Nate admits any of that himself. I can see how it would be difficult to face when you're already juggling fifty glass balls on a glass platter while riding a unicycle on hard stone floor.

Why is NATE is the one I give a private Ted Talk on regularly when none of the jerks are doing much better. He's just for fucks sake he, he's doing so bad. So bad. Maybe it's the incredibly harsh wakeup call I got? I cannot overstate how impactful that one scene was. HE CRIED. HE CRIED IN FRONT OF ANOTHER PERSON? HE BROKE DOWN?? NATE LAWSON HAS WEAKNESSES??? LIKE HE WASN'T JUST DOING ALL THAT FOR THE SAKE OF OBLIGATION OR TO LOOK GOOD ON A RESUME? HE'S REALLY THAT CRUSHED? I wasn't supposed to be there. I know it's a scripted event but I wasn't supposed to see that it feels not allowed. Are you still there? Thank you for reading go to sleep