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stardustprompts · 2 years ago

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she who became the sun ( the radiant emperor #1 ) - shelly parker-chan change tenses/pronouns as needed !! some lines have been edited for clarity / length / ease of roleplaying tw ; death , war , violence , sexism

‘they say there’s luck in names, and you’ve certainly had luck enough.’

'in my experience, lucky people tend to be the laziest.’

‘where’s the fun in suffering by yourself?’

‘you think you’re that good-looking everyone wants to see you?’

‘desire is the cause of all suffering.’

‘I don’t appreciate being made a puppet for another man’s dirty work.’

‘when I ask myself if future pain is worth it for this life I have now, I always find that it is.’

‘I always knew you had a strong will. but what’s unusual about you is that most strong willed people never understand that will alone isn’t enough to guarantee their survival.’

‘more so than will, survival depends upon an understanding of people and power.’

‘it isn’t strength, but knowledge, that will be our best tool for surviving these difficult times ahead.’

'undoubtedly, chaos brings danger. but there will be opportunities, too.’

‘it’s due to chaos that we’re living through a moment in which even ordinary men can aspire to greatness.’

‘are you going to stab me?’

‘you can’t pray away your fate.’

‘I was merciful. I let you live.’

‘you cause me trouble as well as shame.’

‘you disappoint me.’

‘any power with such comprehensive reach should be understood.’

‘any power with such comprehensive reach should be understood. perhaps especially if they’re on our side.’

‘in my father’s eyes, I’ll always be the failure.’

‘(name) is an easy person to love. the world loves him, and he loves the world, because everything in it has always gone right for him.’

‘you and (name) are two unlike things. don’t fool yourself that he can ever understand you.’

‘I know what it’s like to be humiliated.’

‘any kind of fool can stumble into success once or twice.’

‘you two are such a bad match. can’t you have a single conversation without fighting?’

‘can’t you have a single conversation without fighting?’

‘clever people know when to give in.’

‘if you join his side, you’ll regret it.’

‘how little lives are worth in this war. theirs and ours, both.’

‘you have a lot of feelings in you.’

‘to win a hundred victories, a hundred battles is not the pinnacle of skill. to subdue the enemy without fighting is the pinnacle of skill.’

‘what someone is means nothing about what kind of person they are. truth is in actions.’

‘I didn’t mean to kill. at first.’

‘I wanted to live, so I took a life.’

‘all that means is we have to make this life count.’

‘who did you become, when we were apart?’

‘I might not know you, but I know what you want.’

‘you’ve opened my eyes. there are so many more options than I thought.’

‘you saw something in me that I didn’t know myself.’

‘what kind of man bothers to see potential in a woman, and encourages her despite her own doubts?’

‘rest assured that the only reason I helped you is because it gets me closer to what I want.’

‘you know what’s worse than suffering? not suffering, because you’re not even alive to feel it.’

‘learn to want something for yourself. not what someone says you should want. not what you think you should want.’

‘don’t go through life thinking only of duty. when all we have are these brief spans between our nonexistences, why not make the most of the life you’re living now?’

‘why not make the most of the life you’re living now? the price is worth it.’

‘maybe your suffering is worth whatever it is you want to achieve. but mine wouldn’t be.’

‘that’s all past history. I never think of it.’

‘do you believe that? that one day we’ll be out of a job, because of peace?’

‘have the courage to take power for yourself! do you think it will come to you if you wait?’

‘do you actually believe the idiocy that comes out of your mouth?’

‘you never accepted me for who I am; you never even saw everything I did for you, all because I’m not like (name)!’

‘you always push everyone away. what do you find in it, the loneliness? I couldn’t bear it.’

‘you trust too much. I admire you for it. that you prefer to drawn people closer, rather than push them away. but it’ll get you hurt.’

‘the worst injury you can do to a man is shame him. he can never forget it.’

‘it must have been painful, learning that true wisdom lies in obedience.’

‘are you always thinking do little of me that my defeats seem inevitable?’

‘i’d have thought you’d be the last to cry about (name’s) fate. why can’t we just stand back and let it happen?’

‘so you’re going to save (name) from himself?’

‘and here I thought I was the only one who got manipulated by pretty girls.’

‘why are you lowering yourself by dirtying your hands like this? let someone else take care of this trash.’

‘you were only ever a pretender. you only sat on a pretend throne.’

‘why do we have to play these awful games? what for?’

‘what does anyone want but to be on top, untouchable?’

‘who do you think I am, to think I can make anything happen in my own life? i’m a woman.’

‘I know you don’t want that life. a different one isn’t impossible.’

‘you have something I don’t; you feel for others, even the ones you don’t like.’

‘you want me to believe you’re different. that you can give me something different. but how can I trust that? I can’t.’

‘are you fool enough to believe the future will match your dream of it, with no consideration of the reality of the situation?’

‘I don’t admit anything! I don’t need to! you’ve already made up your mind!’

‘you can’t reason with fools who refuse to see reason.’

‘he was right about you. you’re worthless. worse than that; a curse.’

‘there are people who say that grief will hurt as much as it’s worth.’

‘there are people who say that grief will hurt as much as it’s worth. and there is nothing worth more than a father.’

‘(name) would never put himself on the line for me, or anyone else. but you, you’d do anything for me, wouldn’t you?’

‘i’ve wanted and struggled and suffered for that fate my whole life. I’m not going to stop now.’

‘you are trouble. I’ve never met anyone more trouble than you,’

‘are you so certain of the possibility of change? it seems to me the outcome is inevitable.’

‘what I want has nothing to do with who wins.’

‘every time the world turns its face from you, know it was because of me.’

‘stop blaming yourself and let yourself want it.’

‘stop blaming yourself and let yourself want it. i’ll give it to you.’

‘I have everything I need. whereas you, — you still need me.’

‘nobody expected anything of me. nobody ever cherished me.’

‘I cherish you.’

‘you think you understand me. but don’t forget it goes both ways. like knows like; like is connected to like. I understand you, too.’

‘pure emotions are the luxury of children and animals.’

‘more fool I am, to hope against hope for a change in his nature, that he might actually try to be useful.’

‘I presume you’re not here to kill me.’

‘you think you have power over me because you know a secret. but you don’t.’

‘how can something like that stop me, destroy me, when nothing else has?’

‘look at me and see the person who will win. the person who will rule.’

‘I presume you realize how much I dislike you. wasn’t the last where I said I wanted to kill you clear enough?’

‘you betray you ignorance in less than a sentence.’

‘how willing you were to think the worst of me. why aren’t you happier? i’m just being who you’ve always though I was. i’m giving you the ending you believed in.’

‘the times and means of our deaths have always been fixed, and this is yours.’

‘even the most shining future, if desired, will have suffering at its heart.’

‘i’ll follow you, as far as you want to go.’

‘I wasn’t born with the promise of greatness either. but I have it now. because I wanted it. because I’m strong, because I’ve struggled and suffered to become the person I need to me, and because I do want needs to be done.’

‘you said you’d be different. you lied to me.’

‘when you did this, did you even stop to think about how it might make me feel to bear witness for what you think is justified?’

‘I want what I want, and sometimes I’m going to have to do certain things to get it.’

‘you have two choices. you can rise with me, which I’d prefer. or if you don’t want what I want— you can leave.’

#rp sentence starters #rp prompts #rp memes #literature sentence starters #literature prompts #she who became the sun prompts #she who became the sun sentence starters #the radiant emperor prompts #the radiant emperor sentence starters

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obsidianpen · 6 months ago

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Anon who asked about baby sleep here. Sorry OP, I'm def not your MIL, and I seem to have struck a nerve, maybe your MIL asks you why your baby doesn't sleep the night and makes you feel pressured? That wasn't my intention at all, I'm sorry, I believe that every mother+child unit should do what works best for them, whithout pressure or guilt or shame. Nobody knows better than them. That being said, I don't breastfeed (can't, but it's a long story) and my babe doesn't take confort from my nearness to fall back into sleep during the night, he needs movement, he needs to be paced back and forth while in my arms, so I provide him this when he needs it, and sometimes he needs it a lot, so some mornings I'm shipwrecked. It's all right now, but soon I'll need to resume my job because money, and my job is stressful and demanding, so I fear: now I'm doing my best, but what if soon my best won't be enough? I also would like to say this: I'm not going to feel guilty or lacking for saying that I need sleep, and that I would like for my baby to sleep more. I feel that now motherhood is all about the baby wellbeing, the baby needs are at the center, he is like a mini God, he must be nursed, he must not cry, he must be constantly held, and that's all right, but what about the mother? Who doesn't sleep, eat, or rest for months, why is nobody thinking about her wellbeing while everybody knows that the baby wellbeing depends from hers? I rec to read "Matrescence" by Lucy Jones, to challenge our beliefs about motherhood. I wish all best to you and your wonderful baby, OP

hi again anon - I don’t really think you’re my MIL. 😜 this is kinda long and off topic so the rest is below!

She doesn’t ask why he doesn’t sleep - he does sleep! Really well most the time, actually! He just sleeps near me, that’s what she doesn’t get, and that’s fine, it can just get tiresome to talk about sometimes. 🙄 i hope you didn’t think i was saying… gosh most of those things you mentioned! You (and all parents but especially those who gave birth) do deserve rest, and of course your baby does too, and going back to work suuuuuccccckkkks when you have a baby (I was back full time for a few months in there), and it’s all really hard and of course no one should feel guilty about having needs. And some babies are just ‘harder’ than others, and it’s just the way they are!! Mine def went through a phase where he HAD to be rocked to sleep or it wasn’t happening. 🤷‍♀️ he grew out of it, though, so it does pass!

It sounds like you need some serious support, because you’re right - you shouldn’t be shouldering all that alone. There’s a reason they say it takes a village - one person being solely responsible for all of a baby’s needs isn’t just unfair, it’s really impractical and can be really harmful for both mom and baby. I had to woke things out with my partner where he would take the baby every weekend morning for a few hours so I could just sleep for a while, because I was doing the bulk of the night work, and that made a huge difference in my mental health. We can’t do it alone, we are not a village! But you are totally right - there is SO much focus on the baby’s wellbeing and basically none on the mother once baby is born. Post-partum care here is just…. Tragic really. Nonexistent aside form one quickly visit at six weeks, if that.

Onviously I have a lot of beliefs about a lot of things on this topic (for the record, I sleep with my baby close because that’s how I can also sleep, but that’s not the case for a lot of people/babes/moms and not what I think everyone else should do!), but the bottom line is that we don’t live in a society that supports mothers (or people who give birth) pretty much at all. That’s the real issue. Imagine having a year long paid maternity leave! How many lives that would improve… and here we are “lucky” if we get six weeks paid. 🥲

thank you for the rec!

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nikoadari · 2 years ago

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I Think I’m Dating a Fae, Chapter 6

March 19

Dear Diary,

Well, the kids weren’t good yesterday. Ramon had a tantrum about the food – he isn’t used to onigiri (Sol says that means “rice balls”) and wanted nuggets instead – and Yasmine was an absolute tornado all. Day. Long.

She just wouldn’t sit still. Eye contact? Nonexistent. She was all over the place, even when we tried to make donuts and cider for a nice dessert. She was excited for that, but she just wouldn’t focus.

I was already frazzled after the awful morning we’d had, and I was about to have a breakdown, but Sol took Yasmine outside and had her chop some more wood for a whole hour. She was able to focus on that, which gave me time to give Ramon a bath which helped calm him down, and then make myself some tea which calmed me down.

We spent the rest of the day outside. Sol has a nice garden in this L-shape around his house, and it always growing something. He apparently has a gardner who comes up here to tend the garden every day, but since we’re all here it’s our job now.

I thought it was hot and sweaty work, but it was kind of fun in a way. Sol showed us all how to weed everything without pulling out the roots of his flowers (that’s most of what he was growing) and how to water the plants without drowning them. The kids really enjoyed it, especially Yasmine. She loves bugs and playing in the dirt.

The only tears came from Ramon when he touched a worm. He screamed bloody murder which made Sol scream which made Yamine and I scream, and…wow. After he found out it was just a worm that scared Ramon, Sol stood up, walked to a big tree with an enormous hole in it, and just sat down in front of it.

Alone time, great.

I told Ramon it was okay and let the poor thing watch the worm for a while, and after seeing it wasn’t that scary he lost interest and wanted “Baba” to come back. God, he’s just so cute. I gave Sol about ten minutes before going to ask him to come back, and he was muttering again!

I’d figured that I had just dreamed it all up that first night we got here, about him muttering to himself in the dark like some sort of creep. It wasn’t dark now, but he was still talking to himself in the corner alone!

So I asked what was up and he turned and said, “Nothing!” like Ramon does when he’s in trouble! I didn’t press because he said he could come back and thanked me for taking care of the kids while he took some time for himself.

Sol is normally so considerate. I’m not used to him just walking away like that out of nowhere. Something must really be bothering him, but at the time I just let it go. The kids were bored and wanted to learn more about the pretty flowers and the bugs and everything; I figured we would have time to talk about it later.

It took a long time to do all the gardening since none of us knew what we were doing and Sol was too busy correcting us to actually do much of the work himself, and by the time we were finished it was getting dark.

The kids hadn’t behaved themselves, so instead of swimming or catching fish, we used all the wood Yasmine chopped before to make a fire in the backyard pit (is it really a backyard when you live in a forest, Sol? Is it? The answer is “no.” I can’t believe this man tried to tell me it counted because the back door was facing this way).

I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. I had to spray everyone down so we didn’t get eaten alive by mosquitos, and the fire was smoky but still warm.

We brought out the cider and donuts and heated them over the fire in these cute griddle and kettle duo. It was delicious. Mulled apple cider with cinnamon might be my new favorite drink.

Maybe I should make a recipe book. Sol’s always teaching the kids and I new recipes whenever he visits, but I always forget to write them down. Now’s probably a good time to start; I’ll get a little booklet from the market when we go. But back to last night.

The stars were beautiful. There are so many out here that we hardly even need lights to see. I never knew we could see all these without a telescope. You can’t see all these beautiful things from the city, and I’d spent my entire life there. I’m glad the kids were able to see this.

After we finished our little snack, Sol brought out this long bamboo flute and started playing songs. He’s gotten so much better at it over the last year! He must have bought a new, more professional-looking one while he progressed because I had never seen this particular flute before.

It had little pink and blue flowers painted down it, and was longer than the beginner flute. It made a much deeper tone than any flute I’d ever heard before. It was low and clear, but not sharp. Ramon and Yasmine were pretending their hands were snakes and dancing to it that way, the goofballs.

Sol was playing slow songs at first. No idea what the songs were called, but they made me imagine water. A slow, steady stream that never ended, flowing wherever it pleased. I kept my eyes on the stars for the most part. It was easier to get lost in the music while staring at them.

But then, on the fourth or fifth song, Sol suddenly picked up the pace. The kids were dancing around the fire in no time. I had to join in. The music was so bouncy it was like my feet just began moving on their own. The kids and I were whirling in circles, and the music carried us along, on and on and on until the children finally collapsed, laughing, in an exhausted pile.

I kept dancing.

Sol started to play something kind of slow, kind of fast…somewhere in the middle to keep me on my toes. I remembered dancing with all my siblings and cousins as a child at weddings and family reunions. I hadn’t danced like that in years.

But, you know what, I felt so good I could barely think of why I would want to stop myself from dancing like that again! I went old school. The kids started clapping to with the music – we have got to teach them how to keep a beat – and I danced as best I could to it.

I have to say, I’m rather impressed with myself. You should have seen my moves. I still got it!

After a few more songs we were all warm and full with donuts and cider, and sleepy from the day’s events. Sol and I put the kids to bed, and when he turned to me, I could see that he was very much in the mood. Well, can’t say I wasn’t, either.

It was an absolutely wonderful night. I’m hoping today will be just as good and bring us all closer together. I asked Sol to teach the kids how to swim this morning. “New day, new chances,” my dad always said.

When we got to the river, Sol asked how well I could swim. I’m pretty sure he thought I couldn’t swim at all since he’s never seen I been living in the city my whole life, but joke’s on him! I’m so good at it that one of my first jobs was to be a lifeguard at a public swimming pool! I’ve saved six kids, two adults who absolutely should have known better, and a dog from certain watery death.

Okay, maybe I’m a bit too proud of that, but I never realized just how much Sol could really do before this trip. I knew he’s a man of many talents, yes, but wow. He told me ages ago that he’s had more opportunities to learn; more time, more money, more education, plus a family that liked to read and learn, etc.

“A simple accident of birth,” he’d called it. “And a not so accidental consequence of capitalism with a dash of plutocracy.”

Which is true, but even though I know that it makes me feel a bit like I’m less than him. My mind will start spiraling, questioning why he’s even with me when I don’t deserve him and everything I know isn’t true but I still feel from time to time.

But this time was different.

He was impressed at my lifeguard stories and my skill. It was a different experience than usual, swimming in the river. The sun was out and it made the water shine like diamonds, but it didn’t hurt my eyes like the glare of the cement did. Sol picked a really calm stretch of the river for us to swim in so no one would get swept away by the current, so there was barely any sound at all, too.

And all of that was really nice, but my favorite part was that chlorine wasn’t stinging my nose. I always hated that stuff. Sol didn’t want to put a swimming cap on before he went in since “the water’s clean,” which, sure…not like animals do their business here, no ma’am.

His definition of “clean” and mine are clearly different.

I asked him to put my spare one on so that I wouldn’t have to listen to Ramon’s whining. He’s always hated swim caps, and if he saw his father not wearing one but still had to himself, World War 3 would have broken out in a heartbeat.

I caught Sol looking into the water like he was searching for something. He looked suspicious, almost angry. I asked if he was worried about more poisonous fish but he said it would be fine and that they don’t like calm water. I didn’t know that fish had preferences like that.

Once we actually got into the water, it was fun teaching the kids how to swim. We stayed in the shallow parts, of course, just splashing about and letting the kids tread water. They’re tiny naturals! By the time we go home, they’ll be swimming pros!

Sol was more relaxed, too, playing with the kids and timing how long we could all hold our breath underwater. I love seeing them all like this. Ugh, but of course Sol had to hit me with the cheesy romance out of nowhere.

We were having a splashing contest before he just kinda stopped and began staring at me. He looked sad. When I asked what was wrong, he sidled up next to me and pulled me close, and he just kept looking at me.

He said, “I wanted to show you my world. There’s so much more to it. I’m sorry that you can only see this tiny piece.”

I missed the carefree fun we were having a second ago so I just grinned and told him to take us on more vacations, then. I won’t mind. Everyone who made me feel like a gold-digger for taking a vacation can stuff it.

He grinned, then, but stayed quiet. It was like he was taking every single thing about me in, and when he had seen it all he turned my body towards his, and kissed me.

I thought I could hear someone laughing at us. It must have been the kids since it sounded close, but I was distracted; the kiss was just too wonderful. He was so tender and gentle, and passionate and needy, and he held me so close to him that I thought we might have to stay like that forever.

I had to push away when I needed air. I was holding him and staring up at his face. His eyes were all soft and brown and beautiful, just like the rest of him, but for a moment, I swear to God, I don’t think it’s just the sun’s reflection that turned his eyes gold.

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happilestangi · 3 days ago

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True Story: So when I was 15 my sister brought home some short eerie blonde dude that when we met he shook my hand super hard and hurt it, and she said this guy (who she was dating) can be my “music mentor” I didn’t know what to think but I found out he was in a band and was a voiceover artist so I believed it. Fast forward two years later having our “mentorship” but really after all his brainwashing, manipulation, and threats against me telling anybody how he was taking advantage of me sexually as a fully grown 29 year old (no he didn’t help me in music one bit), when i finally cut myself out of his life and came back home, immediately I was sent away by my mom to a mental hospital and treatment center for getting in a fight with her because she was trying to force me into Scientology.

The only reason I wasn’t in the treatment center until I was 18 was because some producer I met one time said he would take care of me and produce my music in Hungary, but all he did was sit around and let his step kids steal my stuff from the laundry and my room. I was then pawned off onto my moms psychotic gay friend Paul, lived with him in his house until I couldn’t take it anymore after less than a year, so then I was living out of my vehicle until I found a cheap apartment my mom agreed to pay rent. I ended up being trapped there for six years asking my mom to please let me live with her or go anywhere else as I was surrounded by drug addicts and party people being loud next door all day and night, I couldn’t focus or do anything there let alone put myself together enough to get a job as everybody around me was preying on me constantly alone in that apartment.

All of this, as one would imagine, only made me angry and didn’t help but only hindered my progress as a human being, my mom was also dying from cancer for the majority of the time I was stuck in that apartment in the most ghetto neighborhood in the heart of Hollywood, refusing to let me live with her and help her, which would’ve helped me. She actually chose to let some of my friends live with her instead and take care of her, which I know I would’ve done a far better job at. My siblings were always nonexistent during any misfortune in the family and nowhere to be found when I needed help, wasn’t there for my mom when she was dying but only to profit by receiving checks for thousands to help her at hospitals, and when I ever luckily was allowed over or got ahold of my mom on the phone she would guilt-trip me for paying my rent and gas, yet gave me no way out. She once told me that if she never birthed me she would’ve had more kids, which was mad to say because she and my dad divorced six months after I was born, so it was their fault not mine.

One night I got into an argument with the racist black next door neighbor who had 7+ people living with her somehow because I had enough of her keeping me up all night playing her TV right where I sleep and we ended up getting into an altercation on my doorstep, they called the cops and lied that I came at them on their doorstep when she came at me with her two friends backing her up. So yeah I was arrested and not them, and that wasn’t enough because Her and her friends went out of their way to frame me in court, all having different stories but oddly still making everybody believe them, my mom hired an attorney that sat on the case, didn’t fight for me and didn’t get necessary evidence like pictures of my broken window because they kicked it when I closed my door on them and locked it, I was lucky to be charged with only resist arrest and threats because of the superior job (to the paid attorney) my public defender did in the end.

Of course I was bullied endlessly by all the gross women in prison, until I made it to the honor dorm and finally got some peace and some friends. Can’t even tell you how many times I switched rooms and “bunkies” because I ended up with one abusive jealous bitch after the next. When I got out three months earlier because I completed all the programs offered and never got a write-up, I was given an apartment to live in by my siblings, they made a verbal agreement with me that I would work for them and let them keep my third of the rental income to live there. And this was a very expensive apartment, especially just for one person, I never found another one nor did they ever help me find another one but just enslaved me instead and never communicated anything about what was going on with my moms estate and if they ever did it was to justify them not giving me a penny of my distribution when it was their fiduciary duty… i even paid out of the life insurance benefit a loan to my sister of $7k and helped upkeep the properties fot $40k. Not to mention they were actively trying to get me thrown back in jail lying to my parole agent and trying to get my friends to as well!

I basically fell into another trap and was held there by the hands of my own flesh and blood, just like before I was stuck in that apartment for six years, having to deal with the crazy tenants my sister brought in who were all alcoholics drug addicts and party people keeping me up all night and distracting me all day, I was unable to focus on my own life and was working without pay… this lasted for YEARS until they decided to evict me out of nowhere, lying that I wasn’t paying rent when we had that agreement, and since I hired some random guy who wasn’t an attorney but lied and defrauded me and I then lost my case.

My sister threatened to sell the property she was supposed to give me unless I signed a settlement agreement (that made it so that’s all I received even if it’s not an equal third like my mom wanted in her will), and which made no sense at all because she had to give me the money regardless (minus her “trustee fee” which she still requested again after already taking it) and I hired a real attorney when one of the properties were going into default because of the giant loans they took out while they were keeping me as their slave. This lawyer took a percentage of my distribution that ended up being an extortionate amount, which he took in full without my knowledge or approval when he cashed the check also without my approval and knowledge… and we have been going through court to no avail for two years, him doing basically next to nothing to help this end faster… even when my (malevolent) siblings finally agreed to a mediation after 8 fucking years of me requesting, he forgot the substantial evidence that I paid thousands for, which was an account of the money I paid to upkeep the properties. He’s fired obviously!

Honestly I could write a novel about how much suffering I have endured at the hands of my own family, reckoning myself to Britney Spears, but I am the antithesis of her. I wish I had the time and energy. Every single person that I was supposed to trust with my life actually ruined my life with every chance they got. It’s amazing I’ve been able to even end up remotely “safe” with an illegal immigrant I met randomly at a cafe because I got evicted so suddenly and didn’t have the time to get another place. This guy has been the only person in my entire life who’s ever been consistent, but he’s also an asshole who takes advantage of me. Barely a friend and definitely not a partner at all, but at least he’s there if I need somebody.

I’ve been raped at least once by every guy I’ve been in a situationship with and I’ve been almost killed. I wish I was never born in that family and/or given up for adoption before they ruined my childhood, young and adult life, and they still have their evil clutches gripping at the last morsels of life force and vitality that they can drain out of me while I’m still stuck here. I know nobody ever asks if I’m ok or how I’m doing and just judges me but I felt like giving at least a summary as to why I’ve been venting poetry and trying to get any kind of attention from my friends online, but of course to no avail. Nothing has ever worked out for me in the new Babylon, I’ve always been treated like a doormat and outcasted by the very people who go out of their way to take my favor and trust in the first place. Like why? Just leave me BE

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drhu0806 · 1 year ago

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5 – “You’re the smartest person I know.”

Fandom: Touchstarved (fanfiction) Characters: Ais, Alchemist origin Rating: T Warnings: none

The clinic door crashes open with an unceremonious clatter. Ais marches in with a limp body in tow, laying it on the nearest empty cot available. The unconscious figure twitches, a thin trail of blood steadily dripping from the corner of their lips, their pallor as pale as the eldritch fog that falls upon the world at night.

Weiss stumbles in after, her hands shaking as she shuts the door behind her. She scrambles to the cot holding the convulsing patient and takes them in. Her hands, trained for decades to avoid touch, hover frozen midair. Memories of the past come barreling down on her like a gavel; she remembers dozens of bodies that lay as limply as the one before her, unmoving as they choke on their own blood, as the illness that grips their bodies rips through them. Sweat begins to break out from her scalp: the last time she’d witnessed something like this, it had almost devastated the coastal village she’d once called home with her unable to do anything but watch.

“Weiss.”

A voice rouses her from her thoughts, a sound so unfamiliar she almost doesn’t register it. Ais peers down at her, wearing an uncommonly serious expression. In that moment, she realizes that she can count the number of times he’s called her by her first name on one hand.

“Hey, look at me. You can figure this out.”

She doesn’t understand how he could see anything other than confused panic in her as she flounders. If she couldn’t do anything about it in the past, what makes him think she had the ability to do anything now?

“I—I don’t—Kuras isn’t here, I can’t…”

She’s interrupted when Ais grabs her face, gently but firmly holding her between his large hands. His face draws in closer to hers, and she’s so caught off guard by how close they are, she can barely form a coherent thought.

“No, he’s not. But I am. I know you can figure this out. I can buy you some time in the meantime.”

“Wh—Ais, I don’t know, there wasn’t anything I could do when this happened at home last time, I don’t think I can…”

“You can. Because that was then, and you’re not the same person you were then. Come on, little sparrow, you’re the smartest person I know, after the doc. You wouldn’t have lasted this long in this city with that curse of yours if you weren’t.”

His voice is low, but there’s so much conviction behind it, Weiss can’t help but actually believe him, even just a little. He releases her, and she glances back down at the poor soul. At the very least, she couldn’t just stand by and watch.

“Okay, okay, okay, yeah, just—just buy me a bit of time while I…”

She mutters to herself under her breath as she gets to work, rifling through Kuras’s cupboards, reminding herself to apologize later. The room starts to smell of smoke and the metallic tang of blood as Ais bends over their patient, whatever eldritch magic he possesses tethering what he can of them to life. Weiss forces herself to remember all she can: symptoms, attempted treatments, her past failures and successes at a cure. As she haphazardly shoves ingredients on the counter, she recalls all that she’s learned since then, what she’s gleaned since arriving here. And so, the puzzle begins to piece together in her mind.

It’s a rushed job, and normally she would have loved to document her thoughts and steps, but they don’t have the luxury of time. The mortar and pestle crunch together, the kettle boils, and she procures the final ingredient she thinks she needs. The petals of the red spider lily, a flower nonexistent where she grew up. The flower is normally associated with loss, but this time in them does Weiss place her final hope. They’re mixed into the final tincture, a concoction suffused with her own magic every step of the way.

Eyes bleary from the smoke, the fumes of her brewing, and her own exhaustion, she moves to the dying person’s side.

“Ais… Help me with just this one last thing. I’m not sure I can…”

Calloused hands cover her own, guiding her trembling fingers as she gingerly tips the potion in the patient’s open mouth. She tips their head back to force them to swallow, and then they wait. In that time, the smoke dissipates, and the whole room is still aside from the ragged breathing of the body on the cot.

Weiss watches them, hyper alert in spite of how heavy her body feels. And a small wave of relief begins to run through her as the rise and fall of their chest steadies to a reasonable pace. The deathly pallor of their skin gradually warms to a healthier shade, and their convulsions still. Like she has done thousands of times before, she reaches out and ever so slightly touches their exposed wrist with the tips of her gloved hands. Even through the layers, she feels for the ebb and flow of their meridians, examining the life force that runs through their veins.

Her shoulders sag, and she lets out a long, relieved sigh as she sinks onto the floor. She’s joined by Ais, who offers her a shoulder for her to rest her weary head on.

“See? Told you you could do it.”

She loops an arm around his, pressing him close. “Thanks for believing in me.”

#touchstarved #touchstarved game #fictober23 #my writing #owlscratch #do you know how down bad i am for writing fic for a game #that's not coming out till 2025 #it's rough out here boys

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coralsgrimes · 1 year ago

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So I’m not sure how accurate this info is (I honestly can’t be bothered to look it up), but according to some ppl on dl, Benny could be making bank in these T-Mobile ads. We’re talking in the MILLIONS type of bank!! So maybe that’s why he’s not bothered by the lack of projects. Of course, like with anything on the internet, but especially on dl, take this with a grain of salt.

In millions? Please I gotta laugh

Like he probably getting pretty penny from these but lemme say what I can find from quick google run. And that is millions of articles from sites like celebritynakedbuzz.com that talk about big campaigns by big stars that even yer Christian grandmother would know about lol so ye somebody is making millions. Bradley with momma and Travolta probably got as much for their super bowl ads

As to Benny.... Well the first thing is that he is desperate. He has no projects coming up like his career stiff like priest walking through preschool. But what he wanna do is he want to progress his music career and it's self funded so he needs them coins. He was crying about the ep being so expensive and that half of it was a ride on freebies. Not this time around and he's going for a full album, ye know a long play which is more than five songs. He gotta pay for all of that and then he needs to pay the vanity label to release his vanity album. Hun I could probably get a PhD off the ground for years with that kinda money.

So ye first of all he is desperate. Second, them fucking ads are union contract I would guess. Soooo there would be a lotsa peeps involved that would be getting on his pay. And another thing here is that his agent manager or whoever was negotiating that deal for him, and we can kinda guess his team is not the best lol. Same people that got him black mirror pity cameo and a film that was announced and then disappeared. Alternatively, he just tries his shots at parts he can't get but he fully believes he deserves better. Honestly me thinks both are happening at once lol

Okie so desperate for monies, union job blah blah blah. Would say that he did got pretty penny, the ad was doing rounds in prime time (during oscars lol) but it's nothing close to big celebrity endorsements like. They don't use his name, he's just an actor that 2% of people who know him know him. First glance I would say he a commercial actor and his character is supposed to be a celebrity actor lol especially given the amount of ads they made. Imma like not even sure who they trynna target with the ads? Who unknown british actor appeals to in America? Like celebs would do super bowl for monies and exposure. Right now Benny is just too exposed but no one knows his name. Remember the who is the T-Mobile's actor guy pieces on them unknown sites full of viruses?

And another thing, but this is just me logical conclusion from what I've been reading. The additional residuals (big word lately with them strikes) for him would kick in if the ad would be running longer than 13 weeks or like 3 months. So the thing here is like I'm not in us so I can't tell if they are stopping the old commercials from airing but roughly every 2 months we are subjected to a new Benny ad. If ye not following me thoughts, what me thinking here is that they made so many of these to pull out old ones and bring in new ones, so not to pay more? Again lol imma scientists not a marketing expert lol

Then there's something called exclusivity deal but I doubt they paid lotsa here cuz it's not like Benny is a hottest commodity in the phone plan crowds lol he not hot anything anywhere actually x.x

Would joke that the player guy in the latest one made more than him in total xd

Again might be wrong might be right. Also he probably had to put that latest post as a part of the deal but like even me who knows nothing about social media marketing can tell that his socials engagement is nonexistent lol

Well this is something xd

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lacytumbles · 1 year ago

Text

Hubert’s eyes blearily opening nearly caused my heart to do a yo-yo from my stomach, but I pinched my lips together and focused. “Hold still,” I ordered.

“Cecilia,” he croaked out, “are you straddling me?”

“Yes.” I looped my magic through his body again, searching for any traces of damage left over by the poison. “Someone slipped poison in your drink, you collapsed, and now I’m removing it, so stay still.”

“Mm-hmm.” He shut his eyes. “Isn’t poison rather simple for you to remove?”

“Better safe than sorry.”

“And the straddling?”

“Being closer to you helps me focus, so shush.”

He hummed. “I should let you know, it’s not as easy to breathe when you’re on top of me.”

“Well, if you let me focus, I could get off sooner!”

His face scrunched up slightly. “Am I more comfortable than the floor?”

“Yes, actually. If you want to be a less comfortable cushion, then you can lose some weight.”

He bobbed his head from side to side on the floor, closing his eyes in concentration. “If my dear partner so wishes, I would be happy to listen to such a wish and follow the royal doctors’ advice.”

I pushed myself off him, turning around to sit on the rug, sliding my legs beneath me and crossing my arms. “Clearly you’re recovered enough to joke around. If Your Highness feels unwell, perhaps he could ask for an additional check-up.”

I heard a grunt and a rustle of clothes from him pushing himself upright. “No, I’m feeling perfectly alright now, thank you. As expected of the Saintess.”

I sniffed. “Like I would do a bad job.”

“Of course you wouldn’t.” His hand hesitantly rested on my head. I stiffened for a moment, then exhaled, gently nuzzling his palm. He began gently stroking my hair, slow but steady.

“I do amazing jobs. Can save an entire town from unsafe water, if you haven’t forgotten. A single poison, no matter how exotic or stupidly fast-acting, is no problem for me.”

His hand rested on my cheek and pushed my head cheek-first into his lap. I let him, obviously. “I can believe that.”

“You can roll over choking as many times as you want, I’ll still save you. I even know how to restart someone’s breathing. No matter what happens, I can fix it.”

His words had that stupid little smile in them. “I can believe that.” There was a rustling of cloth and I felt a handkerchief fall over my face. “Best not get sun in your eyes, though.”

Another sniffle. “W-well done. You - you shouldn’t move from here for now, let your body recover. Saintess’ orders.”

“Understood.” The handkerchief pressed underneath my eyelids and I shuddered before shutting my pupils. “I’m alright now. I worried you. I’m sorry.” I knew that, idiot. Utter idiot. An idiot trying to cheer me up idiotically.

There was the crinkle of glass cracking from the other side of the room. “Oh my, am I too late?”

“I can’t imagine what you would be too late for,” Hubert said mildly.

“Why, my gallant pet saving our little hamster.” I could envision her tilting her head in a, ‘is that not obvious’ fashion, silver locks dancing around those crimson eyes. “Now I can’t even see Cecilia’s pretty little face. I was so looking forward to that.”

“[Michaela.]” The words had that framing, almost nonexistent, an edge of politeness grazing its recipients, like when he had first encountered Michaela and myself in the garden.

She was quiet for a few moments. “I overstepped,” she muttered. “My apologies.”

Hubert’s hand resumed stroking my head. I inhaled deeply, then exhaled. “Is she doing the thing?” I whispered.

“Which one?” he murmured back.

“The one where she puts her middle finger just on top of her teeth and looks to the side?”

“Ah, the flustered tic. Yes, she is. Want to see it?”

“If I see her doing it, I’ll forgive her way too easily.” I hissed, trying to expunge my memory’s automatic recall of how unfairly cute that gesture was on someone as gorgeous as her. “She shouldn’t get used to that.”

“Fair enough.” He raised his voice. “Can I ask what happened to the window, Michaela?”

“The, ah, the intruder jumped through it. A tragedy, I suppose, you simply can’t replace Monvrer panes anymore.”

“And what of the intruder?”

“They were impersonating Cary. Apparently Cary’s in one of the upstairs cupboards, and will likely wake up soon feeling somewhat dehydrated, so, hmmm, I might check on her.”

Nope, no running. I yanked the handkerchief off of my face, and my heart melted on how lost-puppy that stupid pretty face of hers looked. “You.” She snapped alert, eyes only briefly flicking towards mine before darting away. My eyes narrowed. “What’re you hiding?”

“Nothing.” She coughed into her hand, then murmured, “I - I am sorry, you know.”

“I know that.” I waved aside the feeling of relief that flitted across her expression for a moment. “What’re you hiding? Does that have anything to do with it?” I pointed at the swirling mound of sand behind her.

Her eyes flicked to the side. “It might be better if you saw for yourself.” She waved her hand, and a section of the sand slid away.

A head carefully poked out, and I blinked in shock at the face that came with it. Their features were androgynous, skin a pale white, hair short and dusky grey, eyes pale blue. They blinked, squinting at the light, before nodding politely in our direction. “How do you do?” Their voice was light, perhaps leaning feminine, but it was impossible to say.

“Shush.” I got up, walking over to bend over and stare at them. They opened their mouth, but shut it as I waved my hand impatiently, continuing to study the features in full. “Right,” I grunted, pushing myself back upright and looking at Michaela. “I’m going to take a guess. The assassin. Your type.”

“Not that, just -” She averted her gaze, and mumbled a string of words. I caught, “very punishable” among them.

I slumped and looked at Hubert. He clapped his hands. “How about we ask the servants who are doubtless anxiously waiting outside the door to help us check on Cary, before having a good round-table discussion about this?”

“We might need some manacles from the dungeon as well,” she said weakly. “I’m serious!” she said at my glower, face flushing slightly. “I cannot maintain this spell forever!”

“They might actually be more comfortable than the sand,” the assassin said in a quiet whisper.

“You.” I pointed at them. “Shush for now.” Breath, exhale. “Right. A talk it is.”

Headaches. I could solve those too. Probably.

Her Sandtrap

This may not make sense if you are not accustomed to otome game genres. An easy job. Get in, slip a few drops into the wine, get out. A quick chop to the back of a maid’s neck, a murmured apology as I swapped into her clothes, a dabble of illusion magic, and the ‘get in’ part had become rather easy. The wine part was also rather simple; the art of poisoning was something I was adept in, slight of hand an excellent part of my repertoire. ‘Get out’, though … “A long time ago, my great-great-grandfather was saved by a man who had prior begged for and received a night’s residence at our mansion. Ever since, even the most unwelcome of guests have been permitted the welcome of at least a single night.” The silver-haired girl brushed a stray ringlet out of her face, the other keeping her wand pointed down at my head. “You are among the most unwelcome guests I have ever had the displeasure to greet, so if you wish to remain more than a night intact, I suggest you improve your behavior.” I squirmed, feeling the sun-drenched hot sand continuing to swirl around me. I had never really conceived of how heavy sand could be until it had rushed up from the ground beneath me, interrupting my flight through the window and the sand-scape garden. Magic really was unfair. “I have to admit, I might have taken the reports about the DeCoy’s family’s abilities lightly.” I put on my most charming smile. “Do forgive my discourtesy.” “So says the one putting on a fake face.” She waved dismissively, manicured nails glinting in the scorching summer sun. “Remove your illusion spell, and your reinforcement spell as well. It felt uncomfortable to witness Cary leap through a stained-glass window, and it is even more so to witness her have that sort of face.” I twitched. “The illusion is easy, but if I remove the reinforcement, won’t your sand scorch my skin?” An eyebrow arched, the wand jerked up, and the sand began rising in a pillar in front of my face. “Removing it,” I said quickly. My vision sparkled as the illusion spell vanished, whilst the constricting heat pinning my hands to my sides grew from uncomfortable to actually quite painful. But I had felt worse burns. “And your other illusion spell?” I kept my expression perfectly smooth as I questioned how on earth she could have deduced that. “I don’t have have another -” “A hair’s breadth of sunlight is slipping through your lower cheek.” She raised one hand and prodded underneath her chin. “Do not think your abilities outclass mine.” The removal might have been rushed, but still … I quickly ran the risks in my head. Only my old handler and a few others associated with them knew my real face; it could not be connected to anything. Revealing it here would likely not hurt the current me, simply increase risks for the future me. And if I didn’t do it, I might learn what high-speed sandpaper felt like to my face. Another sparkle and my second glamor fell. Her eyes widened and she pressed two fingers to her lips. “Oh my. You are cute.” She tilted her head, still staring at me. “Man, or woman?” I frowned. “Does that matter?” “So both? Or perhaps neither.” She ruminated her place, finger twirling through one of her ringlets, before smiling. “I have decided. I will do my utmost to make you a concubine of mine.” I paused. “I’m sorry, a what now?” She sighed. “Marriage laws are, unfortunately, not up to date with the conjugal life that I would prefer, so technically your position would be ‘concubine’ until we introduce polygamy to the legal code.” This time I couldn’t stop my eye from actually twitching. “Are you suggesting you desire to marry me?” “But of course.” Her smile reached her eyes in a manner that made me shiver instinctively. “From the moment I saw how gracefully you shattered that Monvrer glass pane, I felt a spell of enchantment from your extraordinary physical ability alone. Your manner of speech, your face and your hidden determination to escape have simply decided it.” She shrugged. “Admittedly, Hubert might not appreciate immediately if I attempted to bring someone who poisoned him into the fold, but I am sure I can win him and Cecilia over. I have already won them both over once before, after all.” I quietly digested her words for a moment. It was true that witnessing the Saintess speak happily with the Crown Prince and his fiancee, whom rumor had it she was trying to separate, had been disorientating, especially as my entire job was predicated on framing the woman in front of me as a means to support the Saintess’ engagement with said Crown Prince. If someone had told me that they were all three engaged in some … three-person love affair, I likely would not have believed them. But the way this woman was looking at me was very scary. I had planned to stage an escape later and evade pursuit, but the idea of escaping this woman’s personal hunt seemed like a very distant prospect. “It really is a shame I can’t see her determined face,” she was lamenting. “I so do love how beautiful she becomes when she’s endeavouring on something sincerely. If only I could watch her healing Hubert.” She tilted her head. “Oh wait. I suppose I could carry you indoors so I could watch.” “Do I have the option to decline?” I said with as much calm as I could muster. She considered. “For the moment, yes. You are a prisoner right now, and the power dynamics are all sorts of skewed even without that fact, but I am sure, once we have built up enough trust, that love can help us overcome such barriers in due time.” She smiled brightly. “Until then, let’s get to know each other more, my lovely assassin.” I was starting to see why my employer had referred to this woman as a villainess.

#queer #queer writing #villainess #otome game #poly #writers on tumblr #writeblr #heroine #not entirely satisfied #but it works

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halloweenbitch2764 · 3 years ago

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I can request a scenario in which the reader is rescued by the police or by someone who cares about her and thinks she is saving from the Slachers (Brahms, Jason, Michael, Vincent, Bo and another killer of her choice).

What would happen next, would the Slachers go after their reader and bring them home with them? Would the Slachers cause a massacre with people who cross your path, perhaps?

((Note: S / O is not a victim or hostage of the Slashers, but his girlfriend)).

Absolutely! Thank you for the request and patience! I think family/friends will work better in these situations so I hope you don't mind! Also I'm gonna skip Michael because I can't come up with anything for him and the other scenarios are super long. I hope it makes up for it <3

TW: Violence

F/N: Friends Name

Brahms Heelshire

It had definitely taken some getting used to when it came to living with Brahms

Between the HUGE mansion and the man himself

But you adapted into the role and settled in relatively well

However, you dropped contact with outside people quite suddenly

The cell reception had became increasingly worse and the landline phone had finally given out

When you tried to leave Brahms would insist on you staying

Which left your brother quite worried (pretend if you don't have one)

After multiple failed call attempts he decided to visit the address you had given him after accepting the job

He continued to try and call once he landed

Sure he'd be annoyed if you answered but would be happy you even did

However you didn't

So he made his way out to the mansion and parked in front of you

You were busy doing some cleaning and hadn't heard the car door slam shut

Brahms did though

A knock rang from the front door and you answered it, seeing your brother in front of you

You were confused and questioned why he was there

"You haven't been answering ANY of my calls. What the hell happened?" He seemed more concerned than angry

You knew Brahms would have heard him by now and one major rule was "no visitors"

Your stomach dropped

"Oh, um. The cell reception here is garbage and I haven't had time to get a new landline." You partially lied

"Well I'm glad you're safe. Mom wanted me to stay for a few days if that would be alright. I hate to invite myself but you know how mom is."

Your stomach sank further

"U-Uh actually, I'm not allowed to have visitors stay. Really not supposed to have anyone stay at all."

He raised his eyebrow. "Aren't you just watching some doll? Come on, Y/N you gotta be lonely. This place seems huge."

"Just go back home and tell mom I'm fine. I'm gonna be here till my job is done. Okay?" You wanted to make him leave without worrying him or him seeing Brahms

However, you noticed his eyes shift behind you and then widen

Oh fuck

"Go. Home." You told him but he didn't have to be told twice, already halfway to his car

You turned around to see Brahms behind you and you figured his size was enough to scare your brother

You just hoped he wouldn't tell your mom what really happened

Jason Voorhees

You had been at Camp Crystal Lake with Jason for quite a bit before anyone came to see if you were there

Cell reception was basically nonexistent so you hadn't had contact with the world since you had decided to stay with Jason

Your sister (pretend if you don't have one) remembered how much you loved Crystal Lake though and wondered if maybe you had ran away to the abandoned and dilapidated cabins

You were just taking a walk when your heard a female voice screaming your name

You instantly knew who's voice it was

You hoped Jason hadn't heard, scared of what he would do to her for trespassing

You ran towards the voice and you thought your sister was going to faint when she saw you coming towards her

"Y/N?" She almost didn't seem to believe you were right in front of her

"Hey dork, what's up?" You asked, trying to seem casual

"What's up?" She seemed stunned and then angry. "What do you mean 'what's up'?! You ran away and then just act as if nothing happened?!"

"Hey keep it down. Look, I'm sorry. I just was tired of everything and decided to see if I could stick it out here by myself for a while. I'm trying to renovate an old cabin to make a sort of house and I don't want ANYONE knowing where I am." The whole story was pretty much a lie. "I was just so overwhelmed with everything I needed a getaway. Don't tell anyone where I am. Please?"

She was silent as she processed everything. "What about Jason? Isn't he supposed to kill anyone who lives here or roams here?" She was almost positive the whole story of Jason wasn't real but she was still curious

"Well I mean. I'm still intact so I'm gonna say he doesn't exist." You lied.

She nodded a bit. "I've just been so worried about you. Just...try and let me know you're okay ever so often. Alright?"

You nodded and she headed back for her car

Once she was out of sight you started to head back to the cabin only to bump into Jason's chest

You jumped slightly in surprise, not having heard him sneak up and explained that she was your sister

He nodded before bringing you back to the cabin

Vincent Sinclair

You were sitting silently in the woods with Vincent as a victim made their way into the small town, pulling into the gas station

You were fairly far away and hidden by the foliage but you recognized who stepped out of the car

He had papers in his hand with large red letters spelling "MISSING" on the top and your face under it

It was your friend

Well he thought of himself as your friend

You didn't mind him but he would act obsessive towards you, wanting to hang out as much as possible and even interjecting himself into conversations you were having

You knew he had good intentions but couldn't help but feel annoyed just by his presence

He walked into the gas station, likely to ask about you

You knew what would happen

Vincent seemed to notice how closely you looked at the guy

It was different from past victims

"Who's that?" He signed

"An old...friend of mine. Well, he thought we were friends. He got on my nerves." You signed back

Vincent nodded a bit as you continued, "He had a thing for me I think. He was obsessed to say the least."

Jealousy started to come over him at what you said even though he knew you didn't return the feelings

He'd make sure he wasn't made into a wax figure

Just tortured and then disposed of

Bo Sinclair

You leaned against the gas station counter as Bo worked in the garage as per usual

You were fairly sure it would just be another normal day

Nobody coming to bother you

However a car pulled up and parked by a gas pump, shutting off as someone stepped out

No it couldn't be

Your old friend

You hadn't spoken to her in years

She still looked the same

You didn't know if you hoped she wouldn't recognize you or that she would

She pushed her sunglasses to the top of her head as she pushed the door opened but stopped in her tracks as her eyes scanned your face

"Y/N?"

You reluctantly nodded and stood up, walking out from behind the counter

Tears welled up in her eyes as she pulled you into a hug to which you returned

"I-I can't believe this. We all thought you were dead!" Emotions swirled rapidly through her voice. Pain, excitement, nostalgia

"What?" You asked, confused

"I've missed you so much." She held you by your shoulders. "I didn't even mean to come here. I made a wrong turn and then was gonna come ask for directions."

Well that sounded oddly familiar

"Well I'm glad to see you. I'm alright. Just uh, decided to live here. I like how secluded it is." She turned to look at the side door to the garage as it was pushed open and Bo entered the room.

"Well hello there." He said in his normal charming accent, greeting your friend and seeing her as a victim. "Who might you be?"

"Oh this is F/N, she's been friends with me since we were in school."

He nodded a bit and she raised her eyebrow. "Well who's this Y/N?" She smirked

"This is Bo. He's my boyfriend. He works in the mechanics shop." You told her

She nodded and smiled.

"Well have a look around if you want any snacks. I gotta help Bo with something in the garage." You lied, tugging him into the garage and shutting the door behind you

"Do NOT hurt her." You sternly said and he raised his eyebrow

"I can't risk her telling people about this town." He responded.

"She doesn't even know what this town is. I think she missed the sign." You told him and he sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose

"She could be lying."

You shook your head. "She won't tell anyone."

You walked back out and smiled at her, taking her money to pay for her snack

"You didn't see me okay?" She raised her eyebrow

"Some things happened that I don't want to get into right now but I can't go back for a while. Just let them think I'm dead and move on. Okay?" She nodded after a moment

"Have a safe trip." You said sweetly, giving her one last hug before she left

#brahms x reader #brahms heelshire #jason voorhees x reader #jason voorhees #the boy #friday the 13th #bo sinclair x reader #bo sinclair #vincent sinclair x reader #vincent sinclair #house of wax (2005)#slasher fucker

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dolugecat · 3 years ago

Text

On some Japanese social issues I had learned about at uni and abroad):

(Rb ok!)

Legit had an epiphany about the true hidden meaning of the last arc of Mob Psycho 100. It’s hella projection but for real there is nothing neurotypical about Mob or Mob Psycho. I do not wish to enforce my interpretation on others (ironic bc I do that all the time but this is a serious social theory). There are some interesting and very sad social issues in Japan that the west really doesn’t understand but would I think help people understand a lot of context behind not only Mob Psycho, but also a lot of other anime. I learned this at my shitty university (prestigious but horrific) and while studying abroad in Japan and talking with Japanese peers. Get ready here we go (and tw for bullying and darker things):

Unfortunately in East Asian education systems, bullying can be extremely intense. Growing up I assumed it was over exaggerated extremely in anime for drama but it really can be so horrific. From what I’ve heard, there is often a single kid or so who is just shit on by everyone else, even the teacher. Mogami land *is* the reality of some Japanese kids. I’ve read that in Korea, this social punching bag sometimes is just the darkest skinned person (yayyy colorism /angry) and or someone who does not fit in. I mean, we have that in America too, but maybe not as common for the bullying to be as focused on one misfit rather than several. These kids just can’t escape the stigma too, kids from other schools find out they were a major victim at their old school and it starts anew. Thus there is so much stigma and incentive to join in on bullying so you aren’t the one. Sadly, this also ofc leads to higher suicide rates. That’s where the “shoe on building roof” anime trope comes in, bc somehow taking off shoes is relayed to death (I forgot why sorry)

There is a difference in how intense in general high school vs college is too. In the West, commonly college is the more intense curriculum and is harder than high school, but in Japan it’s usually the opposite. Grind suuuupppeeerrrr hard for entrance exams (huge standardized tests that determines what college you can qualify to) bc unlike the ACT or SAT here, that test is by far the most important factor for college admission. Then chill and relax a bit in college. Can’t relate. Name and prestige is very critical for job application, more important than here. That’s why planning out your future is sooo much more intense for Japanese high schoolers than in America, and why there is sooo much more pressure to excel in high school than here. Japanese school years and holidays are done different than ours, I’d suggest looking it up.

Social prestige of going to an American high school or college is nuts. Like whyyy do you value our shitty education, Japan’s is much higher quality (it’s bc we neo colonized them). Being able to speak English is very, very highly valued and any association with Americans make you cooler. From my experience, some Japanese students got very excited to practice speaking English with us, and their biggest issues with learning it is pronunciation, lmao. Wasai english is unique slang that is indeed English words but it’s kinda different and it’s kinda jarring to remember lol. So, Teru having parents that are working overseas isn’t too uncommon, idk about leaving him absolutely alone, but I did have a ex-friend who just came from Japan in middle school who’s situation probably wasn’t too far off from that. Empty wealth with no love, it’s no wonder those kind of people can end up being huge bullies (minori?)

I did a presentation on 引きこもり(hikikomori) for which means “shut in”, (like Serizawa) and it’s fucked up. It’s a social phenomena where according to some Japanese researchers a mix of undisciplined parenting, guilt/not living up to expectations, and hopelessness makes an alarming amount of youth/ young adults literally never go out side their house/room. Often a parent is “enabling” the behavior by supporting them, but idk the articles seemed a bit victim-blaming to me when I read it, but I don’t think I should make a judgement too hard, not my place. I will say I do suspect and believe I read something to support that ASD might play a role in hikikomoris (there is pitiful resources for autistic people in Asia, much much less support than even here, to the point I don’t think most know it exists). Like come on, with the other points I laid out my personal opinion as an Asian American with autism is that it really seems it’s unknowing ableism against autistic classmates, but I didn’t grow up in Asia so I don’t want to say.

Mental health in general is tragically quite abysmal in Japan, and with it being so hyper competitive and brutal work culture, it’s no surprise birth rate in Japan is so low; some Japanese young adults say it seems unethical to bring a life to such hostile world. Suicide rate is of the highest in the world. It’s fucked, I’ve interacted with some of the locals in Tokyo and they were so nice, but the business men just looked dead inside, it’s so sad.

Relationships between child and parent is also strained bc of this intense work and school culture. Quality time is too scarce when you gotta work so much. And the pressure from parents to do well in education or else you might end up socially stigmatized is rough. Bc your job is who you are, it’s hyper capitalism (thanks us for making them do this)

With autism being so unknown, support for parents in raising autistic kids is almost nonexistent. What happens if the “darker” side of ASD shows up in kids? I used to be a menace when I had meltdowns, I felt so bad but really just became so indiscriminately violent. See where this is going? Legit, I think ESP is a sort of metaphor for neurodivergance to ONE. There is so much stigma around it, and even less way for kids to understand why they are different than the others. My Korean family can’t admit we all got ASD, too much fear and internalized shame.

I got finally diagnosed with ASD as an adult and I’ll tell ya, I relate too much to Mob hurting Ritsu. I felt so bad, but also not in control, I knew what I was doing but not how to stop. Luckily, is was blessed in that my hyperfixations involved science and logic, so I did well at school. Sadly, our boy Mob just don’t got the passion or ability to do well at school. His kanji is very bad, even to point of not being confident he wrote a kanji (世) they learn when they are 9, in elementary school (thanks @katyatalks). Him being a bit berated by his parents for having bad grades and bending spoons seems harsh to Westerners I think, but IMO it’s pretty tame from what I’ve seen of some Asian parents (I get to say that lmao). Ofc, however the shaming is very real and Mob just agreeing with them about how weird and stupid he thinks he is so sad. There is even more pressure for the eldest to be better than here, I feel from some interactions. Nonetheless, it’s implied Mob is quite emotionally detached from his parents, even though he loves them, which also adds to his emotional complex. Combined with originally fragile self esteem and feelings of worthlessness, we got one emotionally stunted boy. However, contrary to common belief people with ASD are sometimes hyper empathic and experience emotions very intensely. We are prone to having “meltdowns” which if not assisted with can be quite violent if very intense. For me, my worse meltdowns as a kid came from when I didn’t understand why I wasn’t getting what I wanted, it seemed selfish and cruel of me but I couldn’t control it. I wanted to be a good kid, so why did hit my moms leg at target when she refused to buy me Pokémon toys? I couldn’t come up with a good reason for why my mind just commanded my body to do bad things, just a single thought was controlling me, I want I want I want I want I want ____. Which I argue could be what ???% represents… bc well…. Yeah….. hmm….. not in control of self (mob unconscious), selfish (not actually, I’ve forgave myself but my “normal” kid self was so ashamed), destructive, hurt family, wanting to stop but can’t, that’s kind of…. Too relatable.

But legit, since realizing my new HC, I’ve started to think of the last chapter of mp100 when I “explode” and it helps me feel better and I do gain “control” a bit easier. I don’t feel so bad anymore either, Mob!

#mp100 #mob psycho 100 #my post #mp100 headcanons #welcome to my hc #asd #autism #actually autistic #kageyama shigeo #mob #mp100 meta #Japanese society #japanese culture #meta #mp100 analysis

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i-write-some-stuff · 3 years ago

Text

Charity - jjk

Pairing: Jungkook x reader (ft. Jin) Contents: You were invited to this christmas dinner for a charity and you needed a plus one, but the only person available to go with you was one of your brother’s friends, who you can’t stand. Warnings: alcohol consumption, maybe some language? tiny bit of angst Word count: 3.6k

A/N: I don't know what happened but apparently I was very inspired for that one. Hope you like it! Find the rest of my holiday series here

*This is purely a work of fiction. It is in no way meant to represent any BTS member in any way, shape or form.

✩✩✩✩✩✩✩

“Absolutely not.”

“Oh come on, y/n,” your brother sighed, rolling his eyes at your attitude.

“Jin, there’s no way in hell I can spend an entire evening with him, let alone a three hour drive, twice, and a hotel night,” you complained, dropping yourself on the couch.

“Can’t you get two hotel rooms or something?”

“Of course not. Best I could do was book a room with two beds,” you mumbled, closing your eyes and leaning your head back. “I can’t believe you’re suggesting I go with Jungkook,” you said, and he sighed.

“Well it’s either that or you go alone and tell them the truth. I’m not the one who told them you had a boyfriend, alright,” Jin argued, standing up and going to the kitchen. You scoffed, pouting like a child while fully knowing he was right.

You had recently gotten a job in a well known firm, and if you were honest, your colleagues were quite intimidating to you. The ones you were working closely with kept talking about their houses, their husbands, or their kids, and there you were, renting an apartment with your brother because neither of you could afford living on your own despite having okay jobs. After your first office dinner, where you’d all gotten a bit tipsy, you had lied and talked about your nonexistent boyfriend, and they had all said they wanted to meet him. And of course, with Christmas around the corner, and the charity dinner your company was throwing, you’d had no choice but to tell them that you’d go with him to the event. The only problem was that none of your friends were available on such short notice, and apparently, the only one of your brother’s friends that wasn’t busy was Jungkook, or as you liked to call him, the devil himself.

You had known him for a while. Since you and Jin were living together, you knew all of his friends and he knew all of yours, both of you automatically including the other when you would organize dinners or throw parties. Jungkook was one of the most recent ones to have joined his group of friends, and from the very first time you had met him, you didn’t like him. He had given you a condescending glance when he first walked in and whenever he’d come around, he’d complain that you had to be there, always had things to say about how you looked, and kept making borderline mean jokes to you or about you. You had never really let his words get to you, but you did at some point start leaving the apartment when you knew he was coming over.

Of course Jin had noticed all of that, but it didn’t seem to bother him too much, and you couldn’t blame him. From what the stories he was telling you, Jungkook actually seemed like a nice guy when you weren’t around. You assumed he was just the type to pick on his younger siblings, and you probably fell under that title to him since he was very close to Jin. But to suggest that you went to the charity event with Jungkook was just ridiculous.

“I don’t even get why you think he would accept to go with me in the first place,” you shouted through the living room, hearing Jin scoff.

“He’s the one who said he wouldn’t mind,” Jin said, coming back with a bag of chips. You opened your eyes, frowning at him as he sat on the other couch.

“What?”

“Yeah. I asked in the group chat if anyone could go and after everyone said they couldn’t, he said he wouldn’t mind,” Jin explained, and shook your head.

“He has to have an ulterior motive. He wants me to owe him, or he wants to humiliate me in front of my colleagues or something. There’s no way he’s doing that out of the kindness of his heart,” you said, and Jin rolled his eyes again.

“You’re talking about him as if he was a movie villain. Maybe he just figured he could be nice, for once,” Jin said, without looking at you. You frowned, thinking that that wasn’t typical Jin behavior.

“Fine. Tell him to meet me here at 1. And he needs to bring a suit.

***

The first half of the drive had gone surprisingly smooth. Your brother had exchanged a few words with Jungkook before you guys left, and although you didn’t hear, your brother seemed to be giving him a warning. Jungkook had been pretty quiet, and seemed almost nervous to you, but you ignored it, looking out the window and humming along to the songs on the radio. The boy surprisingly had good taste when it came to music.

“So, what exactly is this dinner thing?” he asked, and you glanced at him.

“It’s a silent auction. They’re gonna present the thing we can bid on during dinner, and then you can walk around and bid on stuff if you want to, and they announce who got it in the end,” you explained, and Jungkook scoffed.

“I know what a silent auction is. Why didn’t you tell me that’s what it was?” he asked, and it was your turn to scoff.

“What, you would’ve brought wads of cash if you had known?”

“Maybe,” he said with a smirk, and you rolled your eyes, trying to hide your amusement. “And what kind of charity is it for?”

“It’s for sick children. The company actually has some sort of partnership with them, they do events like that and help them all year round,” you explained, and Jungkook nodded.

“Wow. That’s pretty nice,” he said, and you nodded.

“Yeah,” you said, falling into a slightly uncomfortable silence afterwards. You waited for him to ask something else, to pass a stupid comment, but it didn’t come, and you were annoyed at your nervousness. Who cares what he thinks, you tried to tell yourself, but it didn’t really help.

“Why did you tell them you had someone if you don’t? Or like, why didn’t you just bring Jin if you absolutely needed a plus one?” He suddenly asked.

“That’s not really important,” you said, and he chuckled.

“Hey, I’m doing you a favor here, I think the least you could do is tell me why I have to do it,” he said.

“Look, I didn’t ask you anything, you’re the one who wanted to come, without me even knowing that Jin had asked you, okay? And to be honest, I don’t even understand why you wanted to come in the first place, considering how much you hate me. So no, I’m not gonna give you a reason, because I don’t need you to use it against me whenever you want. All I need is for you to pretend to like me during the event, and then we can go back to not talking to each other, okay?” You blurted out, and Jungkook remained silent for a moment.

“You think I hate you?” he asked, and you scoffed, shaking your head. You didn’t even bother replying, leaning your head against the window and staring outside instead.

***

“They found the second key!” you heard Jungkook say as he walked in, and you got out of the bathroom, putting your earrings on.

“Good!” you said, watching as Jungkook dropped the keycard on the desk, next to your purse. He turned around, his smile dropping as he looked you up and down. You frowned, looking down at your dress. “What? Is it stained? Do I need to steam it again?” Jungkook shook his head, before clearing his throat.

“No, no, the dress is fine, you just- you look great,” Jungkook said, and you smiled, smoothing your dress with the back of your hand.

“Thanks. You don’t look too bad yourself,” you said, and he shrugged, smirking.

“I’m not even all done yet,” he said, and you rolled your eyes. He walked over to the chair in the corner, where he had laid out his suit jacket and tie before running out the door when you realized they had only given you one keycard for your room. You went back to the bathroom, grabbing your necklace and walking back to the main room, going in front of the mirror to put it on. Jungkook finished tying his tie, then glanced at you, hearing you scoff as you tried to correctly clasp the delicate chain around your neck. He reached for it, softly taking the clasp from your hands and clipping it together, smoothing down your hair as he looked at you through the mirror.

“Thanks,” you breathed out, and he nodded, turning to go grab his jacket. You went to grab your purse and your coat, clearing your throat as you did. Your heart was hammering in your chest, and you shook your head, telling yourself that it had nothing to do with Jungkook, but rather with the situation.

“Ready to go?” you heard him ask, and you nodded, frowning at him.

“Please don’t be a dick while we’re around the others,” you said, and he scoffed.

“Who do you think I am?” he asked, shaking his head at your expression. “Don’t answer that,” he added, and you had a little smile, opening the room’s door and walking out, Jungkook right behind you.

***

“y/n!” Your colleague greeted you as you walked into the room after getting rid of your coat. You smiled, walking towards them. You felt Jungkook’s hand graze your waist as he followed you, and you almost told him off, before remembering the act you had to put on. Your colleague was quick to pick up on his movement.

“Is that the pretty boy you were so secretive about?” she asked, and you had a nervous laugh, looking at Jungkook.

“That would be me, yes,” he said, giving them his most charming smile. “Jeon Jungkook, it’s nice to meet you,” he said, holding his hand out to shake their husbands hands as you all introduced each other. You then sat down with them, someone pouring you and Jungkook a glass of wine as you chatted.

“So, Jungkook, what do you do for a living? y/n barely told us anything about you, she kept acting all shy whenever we asked anything,” one of your colleagues said, and you felt the heat rise to your cheeks, looking down at your glass.

“Well, our relationship is quite recent, and we’re trying to take it slow,” he said, glancing at you. You smiled at him, looking back at your colleague. “I work for an entertainment company. My unit is currently working on the score for a big scale movie that I can’t really say anything about,” he said, and you sent him a curious look.

“Really? That’s impressive,” one of the men said, and you nodded. They kept asking questions about him and your relationship, both of you expertly lying your way through your fake dating, coming up with the full story from how you met to how you ended up together. You had to admit you were having a lot of fun, seeing how Jungkook was handling your improv, and him seeming to enjoy trying to push you towards making mistakes.

When the dinner was over, your colleagues all went their own way to look at the things that were auctioned, and you ended up alone with Jungkook for a moment.

“So, am I a good boyfriend yet?” Jungkook asked you, putting once again his hand on the small of your back. You rolled your eyes, taking a sip of your glass of wine that you had decided to bring along with you.

“You’re doing alright. Thanks for almost telling them we had a child,” you said sarcastically, and he laughed.

“Come on, you brought it back very well. I thought you’d go with a fatherless son story, but saying it was my cousin’s kid was clever.”

“What, you want them to think I’m a whore or something?” you whispered, and he laughed.

“I never said that,” he said, and you gently hit him in the stomach, making him laugh more.

“You two are adorable,” one of your colleagues said as they walked away from the table you were getting to. You smiled at her, before exchanging a look with Jungkook, the both of you holding back your laughter. You looked at the bracelet that was being auctioned. It was an antique piece, a golden chain bracelet with gems in the center of each link. You couldn’t help the impressed gasp that left your lips.

“You like it?” Jungkook asked, and you nodded.

“Yeah, but it must be expensive as hell. Look at the bids already, I can’t afford that,” you said, and Jungkook shrugged.

“Maybe something else will be more interesting,” he said, and you nodded, letting him guide you along to the other tables. There were a few things that caught your eyes, but none like the bracelet, so you refrained from bidding too much. You and Jungkook bid on a few small things, offering barely more than what the previous people had offered, fully knowing that someone would bid more for them. When they called for the last bids, you got back to the table, and Jungkook excused himself to go to the bathroom. Two of your colleagues sat down with you, their husbands chatting at another table.

“y/n, you didn’t tell us your man was absolutely gorgeous,” one of them said, and you laughed.

“Yeah, he really is. I’m lucky to have him,” you said, before taking a sip of your drink.

“I have a question, though,” the other one said, leaning in closer to the table, you did the same, glancing at your other colleague. “I believe I caught a glimpse of tattoos, does he have a full sleeve or is it just a few here and there?” she asked, and you laughed again.

“It’s a full sleeve. He started with a few but he kept filling up the empty spots, now I’d say that arm is pretty much all inked,” you said, remembering Jin commenting on all the money Jungkook must’ve spent on his arm, and your colleague whistled.

“My, that is hot. I definitely wouldn’t mind seeing the full sleeve, if you know what I mean,” she said and you frowned, thinking it was slightly inappropriate.

“Aren’t you married?” You half-joked, and the two of them laughed at your reaction.

“Don’t get all jealous on me, sweetheart, I’m only joking,” she said, and you shook your head, laughing too. You couldn’t help but feel slightly uneasy, but luckily the boys came back not too long after, just as the auctioneer asked for everyone’s attention again. You leaned slightly into Jungkook as you turned towards the stage, and he seemed to get the idea, wrapping his tattooed arm around your shoulders.

“Everything alright?” he asked in your ear, his breath tickling your skin and sending shivers down your spine. You nodded without looking at him, and he cleared his throat, taking a sip of his drink. You half listened as the auctioneer started listing the things and the winning bids.

You didn’t know if it was the alcohol or your colleague’s words, but you found yourself playing with Jungkook’s fingers, your hand unconsciously reaching for the one that was resting over your shoulder. Jungkook didn’t say anything about it, and it surprised you. You caught yourself tracing the tattoos on his knuckles, and you let go of his hand, taking another sip of your drink as you brought your attention back to the stage.

“Now, this beautiful antique bracelet was quite popular, the winning bid sitting at one thousand and three hundred dollars. Congratulations to Mr. Jeon Jungkook!” It took you a second to register what had been said as the people around you started clapping. You turned to look at Jungkook, the shocked expression on your face making him smile. He politely nodded around, before leaning closer to you and giving you a kiss on the cheek. Your heart skipped a beat, and you remembered the act you were supposed to put on, smiling at him and leaning back into him. Your colleagues looked at you with bright smiles, and you gave them a thin-lipped smile, still shocked that Jungkook had done that.

You waited until you were back into the hotel room to confront him, the bracelet now sitting on your wrist. He had placed it on you after retrieving it, earning compliments over compliments from your colleagues. You were quiet during the whole interaction, barely thanking him when he gave it to you. You were grateful when he said you weren’t a big fan of pda when one of them mentioned a thank you kiss, but you were too stunned to reply to anything.

To be honest, you were mad at him. You had told him he didn’t have to bid on things, and you already owed him enough without adding a thousand dollars to the lot. You were also shocked that he would have that kind of money to spend. But the thing that annoyed you the most, and you hated to admit it, was that there was a slight chance he would take the bracelet from you and wait to offer it to someone he was actually dating. You loved the piece, and you would have bid the money if only you had had it.

“So. What the hell was that?” You asked when he closed the door behind you.

“What are you talking about?” Jungkook asked, taking his coat off and walking past you to throw it on the chair.

“What am I- this maybe?” You said, lifting your hand up. “Why did you do that?”

“You said you liked it, so I got it. I don’t get what the big deal is,” he said, and you glared at him.

“The big deal is, I don’t have that kind of money. I can’t pay you back for it,” you said, and he frowned.

“I don’t want you to pay me back. I bought it for you. Like… Like a present, whatever, it’s not a big deal,” he repeated, running a hand through his hair. You could tell he was getting annoyed too, avoiding your eyes and pulling roughly on his tie.

“Well I can’t accept it. You hate me, why the hell would you spend a thousand bucks on me?”

“Because I don’t hate you! I like you, alright?” Jungkook exclaimed, and you froze for a second. He was looking at you now, his eyes holding a mix of anger and pain, and you frowned.

“What?”

“You keep saying I hate you, and I don’t. I never wanted us to have this shitty relationship, I just… When I first saw you, in this photo of you and Jin, I said you were pretty. And Jin made it very clear that you were off limits. But then I actually met you, and you were so sweet and it made me mad. It made me mad because I wanted to get to know you, and I wanted to hang out with you, but I didn’t want to ruin my friendship with your brother. I guess I took that anger out on you and that’s why I acted like a dick,” he explained, sitting down on his bed in the process, and you stared at him, too stunned to say anything. He glanced at you, and you saw him swallow harshly. “I saw the way you looked at the bracelet and I thought it would make a good peace offering,” he admitted.

“What changed?”

“What?”

“Why are you suddenly telling me this, why are you suddenly doing this with me?” you asked, and Jungkook shrugged.

“I… don’t know. Jin sent the message about needing a date, and I said I could. I thought he would tell me to fuck off, but then he texted me when to meet you and everything. And before we left he told me to treat you right. So I assumed it was alright for me to make a move,” he said, and you frowned.

“So all this time, you actually liked me?” you asked, and he nodded.

“I had so much fun tonight, coming up with all that bullshit and trying to get you to trip into your own story or to get out of the holes you dug me. And I know I was the worst for a long time but I’d really like it if you'd give me a chance,” he said, and you sighed, finally taking your coat off and sitting on your own bed.

“You’ve been a major asshole, you know that?” you said, and he chuckled, sounding a little nervous. He looked down, playing with his fingers as he waited for you to continue. “But I really liked the evening too. And for some weird reason, I got jealous when one of my colleagues mentioned wanting to see your tattoos,” you said, and he looked up, a smirk on his lips.

“That’s why you were all touchy when I came back,” he stated, and you shrugged.

“Maybe,” you said, and he smirked.

“I mean, I’d say I’m flattered, but it’s a bit weird given that they’re both married,” he pause, glancing up at you. “You, however, can see them whenever you want. All you have to do is ask,” he said with a smirk and a sulky voice, and you rolled your eyes.

“Ew,” you said, and he laughed. You sat in silence for a second, looking at each other. He was looking at you expectantly, and you bit your lip, looking down as you replied. “Fine. I guess we can give it a try.” Jungkook’s face lit up as you spoke.

“I promise I’m not that much of an asshole,” he joked, and you smirked.

“I’ll be the judge of that. Also, no more thousand dollar gifts, alright?” you said, and he scoffed.

“I can take it back if you want.”

“In your dreams.”

“That’s what I thought.”

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angelofthequeers · 3 years ago

Text

I really love how this show tells a story without explicitly saying so, especially with how that pertains to Chloé

She can’t be redeemed yet because she doesn’t want it. She hasn’t hit rock bottom quite yet because she’s still got support if she wants it...but she doesn’t want it. She’s pushing everyone away and ‘Queen Banana’ uses a nice parallel to show this.

Adrien once again tries to reach out to her, to convince her to improve herself and stop being so nasty to everyone. But unlike in ‘Despair Bear’, she’s not even willing to pretend, because she was Queen Bee and that means she’s Good and therefore can’t possibly need to change and it must be everyone else who’s the problem. So she just straight up rejects one of the only two people she’s ever been nice to and cared about in her life.

“You’re not my Adrikins anymore, you’re my Adri-no one!”

She claims he means nothing to her, just like she did to Ladybug in ‘Miracle Queen’ after Ladybug stood her ground and didn’t cave in to her demands to take the Bee Miraculous. She literally cannot handle being told no and when Adrien does so with finality - with a gentle force that she knows she won’t budge - she lashes out and pushes him away.

Just like she later does to Ladybug in a parallel of her words to Adrien.

“You’re not Ladybug, you’re Lady-nonexistent!”

Because this episode showed that to Chloé, life is a movie for her to direct. She’s the star, she gets everything she wants on demand, and when people finally stand up to her and firmly say no? She lashes out and insists that they don’t exist in her perfect world where everything goes her way and she gets everything she wants.

In her perfect movie world, she’s the stunning hero Queen Bee who revels in the attention of being a superhero and saves her Adrikins while Ladybug gushes about what a great superhero she is just like in her documentary back in ‘Malediktator’. When things go off-script, she demands that the entire script be re-written to once again centre her as the star; as the queen. She calls on people with the power to give her what she wants, like her father...or Shadowmoth.

“Chloé, we don’t want to change everything again!”

“DADDY!”

And when people finally refuse to play along with her script, she erases them from her life so she can keep clinging to her fantasy. She denies that they’re her sister, tells them she doesn’t need them, turns them into bananas...and so on.

‘Miraculer’ proved that she could resist if she wanted to but, well, she doesn’t want to. She’s not going to get the power and prestige from being Queen Bee, so she’ll get it from taking down the person who’s holding her back from that glory. Ladybug, who only existed to boost Chloé’s image as her “best friend”, then ceased to exist when she went off the script that Chloé had constructed in her head.

She’s not out of character for regressing. She never has been. It’s always been about the attention and stardom for her and when she couldn’t have that, she reverted back to her old ways. Why should she bother improving herself if she gets nothing out of it? Like she said in ‘Sole Crusher’ (which people slam for being too cartoonish without taking a closer look at it), there are winners and losers in life and she’s a winner. If she’s not then that makes her a loser. Queen Bee is a winner, a powerful figure standing next to Ladybug with Adrien fawning over her, and having that taken from her makes her a loser. So...she doesn’t acknowledge that. She doesn’t acknowledge Ladybug. She doesn’t acknowledge Adrien pointing out her promise to change. If she does then she’ll have to face some very hard truths about herself, and I do believe she’s got the self-awareness to know that those truths are there even if she staunchly refuses to acknowledge them.

And I do believe that’s where Zoé will come in. Zoé is taking everything that Chloé sees as rightfully hers: the attention and love of others, a relationship with Adrien (as Chloé so explicitly pointed out last episode, Adrien is hers), her role in the movie, her father’s attention...even her superhero mantle. Twice now, André has stood up to Chloé when he never has before. And both times pertained to her behaviour towards Zoé. He even explicitly called her out the second time, because he’ll give her anything she wants except hurting her own sister. But Zoé’s explicitly said that she loves Chloé, even if no one else will, and she’s the only member of Chloé’s family to genuinely love her without taking her crap.

“And I’ll always love you even if the whole world hates you...sister.”

Zoé will be the catalyst that Chloé truly needs to improve herself and stay that way. Chloé needs tough but tender love, which she can’t get from the people who have already tried. Adrien doesn’t have the power to make her keep her promise because if he’s nice to her, she just takes that as a reward and permission to stop acting since she actually wants to know him and have a relationship with him. Ladybug’s job isn’t to sit there and coddle her and hold her hand and if Ladybug can’t make her special then, well, she’s useless in Chloé’s eyes. Ladybug tried once, and Chloé did acknowledge the truth about herself and apologise, but her change of heart didn’t stick. She had no one to consistently hold her accountable and call her out when she stumbles, and no real reason to want to change. But Zoé is in a unique position as her family, as one of the only people she literally cannot refuse to acknowledge, and I believe that Chloé will at least have her footing back by the time the show comes to an end.

The name Zoe means ‘life’, while Chloe means ‘green shoot/fertility/blooming’, and I feel like this describes how their future dynamic will unfold. Zoé is the healing power who believes the best in everyone, even Chloé. Chloé is the angry, destructive power who hates everyone and lashes out because she feels that they ruin her world and don’t deserve to even look at her. But just like in the start of the episode, once Chloé stops trying to force the story to cater to her and lets herself break for good, Zoé will be there to help her get back up and stay up; to blossom and grow by giving her new life. And now that she’s got a charm to protect her from akumatisation, she can safely fall and break and process this without being preyed on by Shadowmoth.

I just...really love this show and its storytelling, is all.

#miraculous ladybug #ml season 4 spoilers #queen banana #sole crusher #chloe bourgeois #zoe lee #ml meta #ml analysis

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thetaleoflevi · 3 years ago

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Distance

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Pairing: Levi x Fem!Reader

Content Type: SFW

TW: Season 3 spoiler, Blood, Profanity, Suicide (For a split second), Suggestive

Description: Reader distances herself from Levi, strongly believing her feelings are not reciprocated by him, causing Levi to miss her.

Word Count: 5.3k+

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Please go away, Captain. Or at least end me. I don’t like the way you make me feel when you’re around. I can’t breathe. Please stop walking my way. Stop looking at me with those eyes.

“Y/N, I need that paperwork on my desk by five o’clock today. Not a minute late, understood?” What are you even saying? Stop looking at me like that. His brows creased with impatience at your nonexistent response. “Hey, focus, brat.” He snapped his fingers at you, making you flinch out of your daze. “Yes, Captain! Right away.” You saluted messily and paced toward the door, returning when you figured out that you didn’t know what you were ordered to do.

“What are you agreeing to, brat?” God…that delicious word was cracking your last bits of sanity. “Repeat what I ordered you to do.” Levi demanded, not having moved an inch from where he was standing. He crossed his arms in annoyance. “Um, y-you… You said to-” “I told you to jump off of Wall Maria without any gear on.” Your eyes widened, and you felt as if all the air in your lungs got punched out of you. So this was your end. This is how you die? Your Captain found your expression to be almost as funny as a shit joke. He didn’t show it on the surface, though.

“Relax, idiot. I was kidding. I want you to finish the paperwork I gave you earlier and hand it in to me by five. Pay attention, or next time it won’t be a joke.” He walked toward the door of the meeting room and turned to face you you when he heard you yelling your affirmation like an annoying parrot. “Yes, Captain! It won’t happen again!” You gave him your best salute only to have eyes rolled at you.

Levi left the room not having a clue that you almost threw up in front of him. You felt that stupid after the situation. Usually, you always felt like the rest of the world went pitch black, with only a spotlight shining on you and him, whenever he talked to you. Even when he scolded you for not doing something to his liking, you couldn’t help but focus on his devastatingly gorgeous silver eyes and how they squinted occasionally in fury, or his lips that never seemed to curve upwards and spat the ugliest words at you sometimes. It was tough love. At least that’s what you made of it.

“What happened in here? Did somebody spike the Captain’s tea? I’m very concerned.” Armin had walked into the meeting room where you stayed, replaying the conversation you just had with your handsome superior. “What are you talking about, Armin?” You ask curiously, having just seen the man acting as unfazed as always. “He smiled, Y/N. He genuinely smiled.”

You were in just as much shock as Armin was. He smiled? And I missed it?! “What were you guys talking about?” Armin sat in one of the chairs next to you. His crystal blue eyes gleamed with curiosity, wondering what was so great that it could cause the most solemn man in the scouts to crack a smile. “I zoned out while he was giving me an order, and then he told me to kill myself—not in those exact words, but, he told me to jump off of Wall Maria without any gear on. I think I made a stupid face or something, but I really thought he was ordering me to die. Then he told me the actual order.”

Armin chuckled at your retelling of the story, knowing he would have reacted the same way as Levi. “Whatever it was that you did, keep doing it! We’ve only seen Captain Levi smile once, and it’s been forever since then. Historia was crowned queen when he last smiled in front of us.” You smirked dumbly and got off the desk you were sitting on. “I’ll try my best. I gotta go, Armin. I have some paperwork to get done before Captain Levi reigns even more hell down on earth.” Armin chuckles and waves a goodbye as you leave.

It was four forty-three, and you had barely gotten anything done. With all the time you were given, you took it upon yourself to leave your work until the last minute—the procrastinating prodigy that you are. You watched everyone do their work with no thought about your own. Four forty-eight. Four fifty. Four fifty-six. Four fifty-nine. Five o’clock.

“Have you guys seen Y/N?” Levi asked Sasha, Connie, and Jean. “No, sir. She was sitting with Eren, Armin, and Mikasa when I last saw her.” Connie replied. Fucking hell, Y/N.

It was five thirty-two when you finally knocked on Levi’s door. “How nice of you to show up on time.” You heard directly inside your ear. You gasped with fear and quickly turned around. Your Captain did not look pleased at all. “Can you tell me what time it is?” You checked the clock on the wall. “Five thirty-three, sir.” Your eyes looked at everything but him. “Okay, good. Come on in.” He unlocked his office door and waited for you to walk in before slamming it shut.

You bounced slightly at the harsh sound. “You better have a damn good excuse for why my paperwork is thirty-three minutes late.” He slowly walked over to you and the stack of papers you held tightly to your chest. “Did you even do it correctly?” He snatched the stack away from you, a few papers nicking the area between your thumb and index finger. You were quick to suck on the area that bled. He looked over the work you had done, keeping the compliments he would have rewarded you with to himself. The brat is good. If only she worked faster.

“It’ll do. It’s not extraordinary work, but i’ll take it because it’s not the most important work that needed to be done.” You stopped sucking the blood from your hand and looked at him when he went silent. “Tch, use your words. Ask for a bandage or something.” He walked over to his desk and pulled out a white roll of gauze.

“Let me see.” He unstuck the beginning of the roll and returned to his spot next to you. “I can do it, sir.” You reached your undamaged hand toward the roll he held, only for him to pull it away from you. “Let me see it.” He urged, waiting for you to show him the cuts. They were surprisingly deep. You put your hand palm-up in front of you, only for him to adjust the position so that he could wrap the material around your hand correctly. The white wrapping began to turn red when it touched the blots of blood emerging from your open skin. With every layer he wrapped, less color was seen until it was just white.

Warmth was emitted through his fingers which soothed the pain in your hand a little. He let you retract your hand, watching you as you stared at the dressed wounded area. “What? Do you want me to kiss it or something?” He looked at you with an ordinary uninterested expression. Yes, please! Kiss it better. “I-I mean-“ You managed to stutter. Your cheeks flushed with heat when you realized what you had started saying. “Stop that, brat. Just stop talking.”

He walked to his desk and continued to look over the work you had done. He silently admired your considerably neat handwriting. It was as if you had typed it—the letters being all equally sized, no streaks out of line. “Right. I’m sorry.” You whispered, walking in the direction of the door. His words hit harder than usual for some reason. It was nothing to be upset about, yet you felt an unwelcome lump start forming in your throat. Maybe it’s you finally realizing that your love for him would never be reciprocated. Just being in the same room as him in that moment had you feeling more vulnerable than ever.

You mustered up the small amount of stability you had in your voice and said,”Well, if you don’t need me to do anything else, I’ll be on my way.” “That will be all.” He mumbled, not looking at you. No thank you? You saluted and left the room.

Unlike times before, Levi didn’t make your heart soar, he made it sink to the pit of your stomach, despite him touching you more than he ever has. It made you question your reasons for loving him so much. Is he worth the confusion your heart goes through when talking to the different versions of him? You’re not sure.

—

Weeks went by with you treating Levi like he was anyone but the person you longed to be with before. You still gave him the respect he deserved as your Captain, but you only talked to him when he talked to you or when you needed to deliver something to him from another one of your superiors. When he ordered you to do something, you would simply give him an affirmation and walk away. No small talk or questions. You didn’t smile like you usually did for him, and your heart wasn’t beating erratically when you accepted the duties he assigned to you.

Levi caught on to this act of yours when he started missing the way your doe eyes lingered on his as he talked to you. Now you would barely look him in the eyes. He missed the way you would try to make him laugh with a joke that had you in pain from laughing so hard. Now you only talked to him about work-related matters. He missed the way you stuttered after saying something dumb. Your voice is so steady now, and your words are chosen more carefully. He missed the clear adoration you had for him. He missed you.

Another day passed, and Levi had no excuse to talk to you. He didn’t have orders to give you. At that moment, he would’ve done anything to go back to when he would scowl at you as you laughed to your heart’s content. He would do anything to see you for more than two minutes. He would have taken the boring job of completing a pile of paperwork if it meant you were the one giving it to him and he would be able to brush his fingers against yours.

His head rested in his hands, frustrated with his inability to stomp on his pride and just walk over to wherever you were. He missed you so, so much, but he would never let you know that you were the best part of his days.

A knock came from the other end of his door. “Name and business.” He stated with his head still in his hands. “Y/LN Y/N, sir.” He perked up at the sound of your voice and he raised his head, quickly fixing the strands of hair that had moved out of place. “Commander Erwin asked me to get your signature for an important document.” He walked over and opened the door for you. “Come in.”

You entered his office and stood in front of his desk until further instruction. He shut the door quietly and walked to where you were.

“You can set the document down on my desk. I need to get a new container of ink. I’ll be back shortly.” He went to his bedroom, which connected to his office, and went through a drawer that seemed to have different supplies in it. He returned with a clear glass cube filled with black ink. He sat in his chair and read the document quickly before scribbling a beautiful rendition of his name onto the blank line at the bottom of the page.

“Here.” He flipped the paper so that it was upright to you. “Thank you, Captain.” You took the document and saluted. As you were about to leave, Levi’s voice stopped you in your tracks. “Y/N, can you sit for a minute?” He asked, hoping you weren’t in a rush to get those documents to Erwin.

“Of course, sir.” You answer, sitting in the chair in front of his desk.

He looked slightly sad. His eyes were completely softened, eyebrows curving inward slightly. “Why haven’t you come to see me as often as you used to?” All you could think was, does it really matter whether you see me or not? “I’ve been busy. I have duties entrusted to me by others. You are not my only superior, Captain Levi.” You were okay with giving him a piece of your mind in the most respectful way possible.

“I understand that, but why are you choosing to completely avoid me unless the subject is work?” Can you be anymore needy? “I’m not.” You simply respond. That is the ugliest lie you have ever told. You are avoiding him. You are keeping yourself busy to avoid even thinking about him.

“I see. I never took you for such a shitty liar.” You suppressed the need to roll your eyes. No answer will satisfy him until he hears what he wants to hear. “Well, i’m sorry to disappoint you, sir. I’ll try not to make a habit of it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, Commander Erwin said that this document needed to be returned as soon as possible.” You stood up from the wooden chair and saluted before exiting your Captain’s office.

—

The sky went dark without you realizing. You were busy all day and after the talk you had with your Captain, you were both physically and mentally tired.

As you arrived to your bedroom, not caring for the darkness that veiled your room, you let yourself fall backwards onto your bed as exhaustion creeped through your body. With your eyes closed, you lifted each of your legs and removed your boots one by one before tossing them to the ground. “Why does he suddenly care about the amount of times he’s seen me throughout the day?” You whisper to yourself as if someone would hear you.

The sound of knocking fills your ears and you pretend to have fallen asleep. “Y/N, are you in there? Are you awake?” Not now. Please. You stay silent, hoping Levi will leave you alone.

Three more knocks sound against your door. After a few seconds of complete silence, you hear the doorknob turn and the door swings open, shutting after Levi steps inside the room. “Tch, you didn’t even take your straps off.” He whispers in consideration to your ‘sleeping’ state. He sits next to you on your bed and watches your chest mimic dormant breathing. He reaches for the strap that loops around your chest and undoes the small buckle. Your chest was released and moved more freely.

By now, your act of pretending to sleep was no longer an act. You were breathing in a set rhythm through your nose.

He softly and slowly pulled your arms out of the leather that enclosed around them. You stirred a little bit before returning to the position you were in previously, on your back.

“I’m going to take care of you, my Y/N. I don’t want your skin to bruise.” He whispered while he undid your belt buckle and lowered down to work on the bands that curled tightly around your thighs. He slowly slid the rest of the leather down your calves and off completely. He got off of your bed and organized your things neatly so that you would find them easily in the morning.

“Y/N.” Levi called, shaking you softly by your arm. When you didn’t respond, he tried again. You opened your eyes slowly and squinted, furrowing your brows when you noticed someone else was there with you. “What?” You grumble, annoyed at the inability to go back to sleep. “Sorry, I need to talk to you.” That voice. You tried to spring up off the bed to salute respectfully to your Captain.

He grabbed your forearms and brought you back down to your bed. “Calm down. You don’t have to be so formal after hours.” You weren’t even asleep ten minutes, yet the drowsiness embodying you was extreme.

“Do you want me to light a candle? It’s pretty dark in here. I wasn’t expecting you or anyone else to come see me this late.” “No. I think the dark will allow courage to seep through me better.” You raised a brow in confusion. “Courage? Since when do you lack courage, Captain-“ “Levi. Just Levi between us.” “Le..vi?” He nodded with reassurance. “Since when do you lack courage in anything, Levi.”

He put his hand on your shoulder, surprised when you tensed up against the contact. He didn’t pull his hand away at the gesture, though. “I hate having to admit that I have a weakness for you, believe me, but you’re invading my thoughts every day, all the time.” This isn’t like you, Captain.

“I’m not adjusting well to this change between us. I miss the way you used to be with me. Even when I didn’t reciprocate the energy you gave off, you always managed to make feel better inside. Now that you’ve distanced yourself from me, I feel even more dead inside than usual.” His fingers stroked the fabric on your shoulder of your white button-up shirt.

“I can’t be that way with you anymore. It took me a while to realize that we’re not here to make relationships that last forever. We have the hardest job anyone could ask of us—saving humanity.” You sighed, thinking of a way to prevent yourself from hurting his feelings. “Though the thought of having you by my side is delightful, I don’t think I can go back to worshiping the ground you walk on like I did before. Our relationship should remain that of superior and subordinate.”

Levi’s head lowered. The agony he was feeling in his chest was excruciating. This last attempt to get you was sadly his final one.

“Then I have one final request.” You couldn’t help but wonder what he would want from you that he can’t get from anyone else. “Can I kiss you?” His hand that was set on your shoulder slowly made it’s way to caress your cheek. His eyes softened at the familiar look in your eyes that peered into his soul. Though you felt you should have removed his hand from the side of your face, the warmth was comforting.

“If you don’t feel anything, I promise I’ll swallow my feelings for you and leave you be. We’ll be strictly comrades, no emotional feelings involved.” He swiped your soft skin with his thumb, eyes locking with yours as he seeks a response that isn’t developed yet.

Finally. “Only once.” You whisper. He nods in acknowledgement of your instruction. His left hand attaches to your waist while his right finds your cheek again. You tremble at the foreign feeling of someone’s touch on a part of you that wasn’t an arm, a shoulder, or your back. His eyes never left yours as he slowly leaned in. God, he smelled so good. The aroma was dangerously attractive. You hoped to never come across someone that smelled the same way, that way his smell would only make you think of him.

The closer he got, the deeper his fingertips dug into your side, as if trying to pierce holes through your shirt to feel your skin.

Darkness, light—you saw both somehow. The entanglement of lips on lips was a good feeling that both of you felt mutually. He held on for as long as he could, not wanting this moment to ever end. After all, this is the first, and possibly the last time he would ever be this close to you again.

You tried to break the kiss but struggled to when you felt Levi pulling you back to connect again. It wasn’t enough for him. It was never going to be enough.

“Le..v…” You murmured indistinctly, stopping the movements from your lips completely. “No. Please…” He mumbled against your lips continuing his one-sided kiss.

It felt desperate, which was strange coming from a man like Levi who’s never begged for anything from anyone. “Come on. Kiss me.” He said with his lips pressed against yours. The feeling was undeniably good. It brought life back to the heart that stopped longing for specifically his affection.

You started moving your lips again, synchronizing quickly. His bangs tickled your forehead, causing your lips to twitch upwards.

He picked you up and placed you on his lap. Just as you were about to reach for his hair, he broke the kiss.

“I want to touch your skin, Y/N. Not in an inappropriate manner, I just need proof that this isn’t just another one of my dreams. I can’t risk going insane over another night of me just fantasizing about being your one. This shirt is the only thing standing between my hands and your soft skin—reality. I won’t touch you like that if you don’t want me to, though. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” His mouth said something, but as always, his eyes said something else. They were begging for you to allow him to feel you. His hands rested on your hips. Maybe this was going too far. What if you did let him touch your bare skin, and it progressed into something inappropriate?

With that single doubt in your mind, you responded to his request with,“Unbutton my shirt, then.” The light in his eyes was shining brighter than you had ever seen. He was visually shocked at your consent. It was clear that he was grateful to have you that night in his hold.

His hands lowered to where your shirt tucked into your pants and pulled out the fabric. Before he could move onto the buttons, he searched your expression for any signs of doubt or uncertainty. None that he could see—you were that good at keeping your thoughts to yourself.

He undid every button, not missing his chance to sneak in a brush of his fingertips here and there, on your collar bone or your sternum.

Soon enough your shirt was left wide open, revealing your black bra and newly formed goosebumps brought on by the cold wind. You turned away from Levi, flustered by his eyes on your exposed torso.

He tugged on one of the loose halves of your shirt, signaling for your attention. “Eyes on me.”Goosebumps resurfaced your skin when his knuckles brushed against your stomach. “You’re beautiful.” His soothing voice assured you as his eyes explored the unknown sight.

You were brought close once again, his lips dying to return to where he knew they belonged. Goosebumps rampaged through your body as he pulled your body closer to him by your waist. The feeling of his hands wrapped around your bare sides was absurd. You were now up against his chest. His hands traveled from your sides to your back to keep you pushed against him.

If you had to remain like this for the rest of your life, you’d do it in a heartbeat, if possible, less time.

Though it wasn’t meant to be sexual, he was leaving you breathless—quite literally. His touch made your heart pound in your chest, which he surprisingly didn’t feel, even with you pressed so tightly against him. By the sound of it, he was breathless as well.

“Mmm…Levi.” You mumbled. “Hmm?” He hummed not stopping his lips from devouring yours. “We have…to…mmm...breathe…at some point.” He snickered, smiling slightly, giving you the chance to break your lips away from his. You were able to see a slight shade of pink on his cheeks in the moonlight. Whether it was from the suffocation or the steamy moment remained a mystery.

Soft pants came from both of you, and though he let go of your lips, you weren’t fully released from his grasp. His ring and middle fingers on each hand poked at your back dimples, while his thumbs did light circular motions on the sides of your abdominal area.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, eyes glistening in the moonlight.

“I need to know what you intend to do with me, Captain. From now to…” You sigh heavily, not finding it as easy as you thought it would be to fit this conversation into the moment after what had just gone down.

Levi picks up on how tense you’ve become, seeing how stressed you suddenly look. “Hey, I’m going to listen to every word you have to say. I’m all ears, right now.” He squeezes your waist gently.

“Okay, what i’m trying to say is…I don’t want to have to mend my wounded heart every time you push me away.” You look toward the window, looking at how a cloud slowly moves in a direction that makes it collide with another cloud. To be honest, it kind of reminded you of you and Levi. The way your lives collided with each other’s, then separated, only to find each other again.

He held your chin softly between his thumb and index fingers, shifting your gaze back to him. He didn’t say anything but nodded for you to keep going. “I also don’t want to have to apologize for fulfilling my everyday duties that can lead to days of not being able to see you.” His hand released your chin and returned to the spot it was on previously, your side. It was as if he was comforting you and himself at the same time. He was hoping you wouldn’t get off, leaving him incomplete without your body weight on him.

You did exactly as he feared, almost as if you read his mind. You wanted this conversation to be as serious as possible, no distractions. You released your grasp on his shoulders and slowly began lifting yourself off of his lap. He subconsciously began letting go of your body, until he caught himself and tightened his grip, bringing you back to where you were, on his lap.

“Levi? What are you-“ “I want—no, I need you, Y/N. You know how bad it’s been on my end since you stopped talking to me like we’re the two closest people on earth? It’s been hell. Fucking hell.” His hands brushed past your sides and pushed on your back, bringing you to an embrace. Your chin landed on his shoulder and his face nuzzled into your neck. Your arms stayed by your side contrary to his which wrapped around you, brushing past the straps of your bra and settling on your upper back. You felt breaths of hot air tickle your neck as he kept talking.

“You have no clue how sad I’ve been. This is what I need from you. I don’t care if it’s something occasional. I don’t care if I only get to see you once a week, month, or year. I don’t fucking care at all. I just want you, Y/N. Please. Please, just hold me.” You could hear his calm breathing close to your ear. You lifted your arms and wrapped them around him. One hand caressed the back of his head, and the other held the mid-section of his back.

He was breathing in your scent discreetly. Black hair tickles your bare shoulder, exposed by your sagging button-up shirt. You ran your fingers through his locks of hair, smoothing down any strands that stood out.

“This feels right.” He mumbled before placing a gentle kiss to the side of your neck. “I want to feel your heartbeat and your warmth against me like this whenever I can.” His lips continued to brush against your skin slowly.

Minutes went by, not a word was spoken. When you tried to escape his caging hold to continue your conversation, he would just pull you close again nuzzling back into your neck. He was being really clingy tonight—not that you were complaining, it was just a odd.

“We can keep talking like this.” He mumbled. “Okay.” You whispered running your hand across his undercut.

“Are you sure you want a relationship where we won’t have every minute of the day together? I know it’ll be hell for me.” You could feel him smiling slightly against your neck. “Yes, Y/N. I know we won’t have much time in the day together, but we haven’t been taking nights into consideration.” Goosebumps crawled throughout your body when you felt his lips latch onto your neck again.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Shit. Shit. Shit. Relax. “I’m willing to be even more nocturnal for you. I also wouldn’t mind waking up next to you every morning.” He dragged his thumb across the damp spot on your neck where his lips rested before. “That s-sounds good.” You stutter noticeably. “What’s wrong?” He holds your face in his hands, clearly unable to fake concern. A smirk tugs at his lips. This man knows what he’s doing.

“Nothing. I’m okay.” You assure with a soft smile. “Okay, just making sure. You know…” He starts leaning in again, aiming for your neck. He knows your weak spot now, and you can’t even hide it.

“…I really like…” He kisses the sensitive skin lightly, basking in the way you shudder. “…spending time with you like this. How about you?” As you open your mouth to answer, he leans in again.

“I…fuck.” You grab onto his arm as he nibbles on the flesh that became more and more sensitive with every second that his lips spent on it. “Hmm?” He hummed against your skin. “I didn’t catch that.” He tilted your head to his left to give him more room. More room to litter you with his markings. “I do…” You inhale sharply when he bites the area under the bruising skin he just sucked on. “…too.” He soothes the imprinted skin with his index and middle fingers.

“Good. Tell me, sweet girl, what’s your favorite time of day?” The movement of his fingers slowed, as he pressed gently on the sore parts. His gaze focused intensely on your peaceful features as sighs escaped your lips with every delicate prod of his fingers. He hoped you would say nighttime, knowing he wouldn’t be able to give you all the daytime with him that you wished for. Also, nighttime would be the time he would spend with you, making sure you were feeling every good thing you could feel. Happiness, pleasure, excitement, pleasure, love, satisfaction, security, domination, care, submission. You know? The good things.

“Nighttime. That’s my favorite time of day.” He smiled, satisfied with your answer. “It’s my favorite now, too.” The movement of his fingers on your neck stopped. He looked outside at the moon, remembering the important work he left behind when he decided to look for you. “I should get going.” You frowned slightly which he quickly took notice of. “I know, I wish I didn’t have to, but I ditched a lot of my work to come find you.”

You dragged your thumb across his half-swollen lips before closing the space between you two and kissing him once more. You released him and said in a whisper,“I understand. Thank you for being here with me tonight.” You got off of his lap and transitioned to a cross-legged position on your bed. He caressed your cheek in an endearing manner, before saying,”I’m glad things are the way they are for us now.” He let you go, and began walking to your door. You fixed your shirt so that you looked presentable again.

“Levi, wait.” “Yes?” He asked, holding onto the doorknob. “Did you take the straps from my uniform off of me?” He let out a low chuckle. “Yes, I did. They would have bruised your beautiful skin if I hadn’t taken them off.” “I could have done it myself, but thank you for that.” You felt cared for. It was such a soft concept to think about. He nodded and continued his exit, a small smile on his face as he shut the door behind him.

I’m the only one who should be wrapped around you and leaving marks in those areas at night.

#aot #attack on titan #captain levi #levi ackerman #shingeki no kyojin #levi x reader #aot x reader #levi ackerman x y/n #fanfic #levi fic #levi x y/n #levi

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