#I can understand why my mom doesn’t divorce him I suppose (he makes a lot of money and she doesn’t work)

[nessaivyselena]

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[weepingwillows-sweethibiscustea]

OKAY. RWRB MOVIE REVIEW.

(Disclaimer that these are all only my opinions)

I imagined Philip as looking more like Philza Minecraft, to be completely honest. So tell me why they made him kinda..???

THEY FUCKED UP HIS CHARACTERIZATION (imo). In the book, he’s just a victim of what he was born into as well. He’s rigid & kinda a dick because it was what he was taught to be to survive, the movie completely took that away, giving him literally two scenes.

AND THEN THEY GIVE GOOD GRACE TO THE KING? Bro. No. Stop it.

I feel as though they were afraid to criticize the British monarchy too hard, which is why they gave the king the good grace they did (plus other changes done, I don’t think they included the cliticization of the British Museum stealing all those artifacts either)

Frothing at the mouth over the fact they not only took away Luna, but completely got rid of the fucking sex abuse scandal in favor of a jealousy plot. Explodes you with my mind.

Going back to my point above that one, I feel they might not have wanted to add that seeing how many Richards are out there. Can’t fan too many flames, huh?

They also gave Bea way less screen time, & took away the whole “Powder Princess” thing, I think the way they talked about their dad passing & how it effects the family was kind of cheap.

AND they fucked up Henry’s moms characterization. She just straight up wasn’t in it, only mentioned, & in a negative light. Again, they really didn’t give the dad passing the attention it deserved.

The beginning went by pretty damn fast. But in all fairness for that & I suppose a lot of points, the movies already two hours long with all that missing, so I suppose I can give some leniency on some of these points.

June obviously wasn’t there either, but it at least doesn’t feel like anybody’s missing. I guess they managed the Nora & June merge well. THEY DID NOT MANAGE THE LIAM & LUNA MERGE WELL.

Seriously fuck them for taking away Luna & subsequently his character arc

THEY UN-DIVORCED ELLEN & OSCAR. I UNDERSTAND IT WOULD HAVE ADDED A LOT OF SCREEN TIME THEY DIDN’T HAVE BUT COME ON.

Do love all the terms of endearment Henry uses, honestly don’t remember if that’s in the book or not.

Can we circle back around to how attractive Philip is. Sorry who said that.

I like the way they handled the cake scene better, definitely feels more realistic.

Admittedly also kinda happy the Henry magazine photo thing wasn’t added, kind of made me cringe reading about it lmao

OH YEA THEY TOOK OUT THE SCENE WHERE ALEX CALLS HENRY TO VENT ABOUT HIS PARENTS(?), IT WAS SUCH AN IMPORTANT MOMENT FOR THEIR RELATIONSHIP BOO

Is there a copy right reason they couldn’t include Henry being a Star Wars fan? If they just simply choose not to then I am Disappointed.

Really liked how they did the phone calls, with them appearing in front & them as though they’re in the same room, together. Great touch.

Edit to add this bullet point because it’s really important to me. Alex says he’s bisexual, Henry says he’s gay. Ellen asks if Alex is gay, fluid, bi, pan. Ellen references transgender people. They talk about the LGBT+ community. They say all these words, they don’t whisper them, or talk around them. They say them loud & clear as day. Idk, this just makes me really happy because of how often you’ll see people talk around these words like they’re bad or dirty words (yes I’m aware this is a movie where they have gay sex multiple times on screen but it’s still important to me shut up)

FINAL THOUGHTS.

It was alright. I don’t regret watching it. It was entertaining, but admittedly not the type of movie I’d usually watch, so I think other people could enjoy it way more then I did. But I definitely still enjoyed it despite all my criticisms.

Definitely not as good as the book, but not bad at all. I’d say it’s absolutely worth the watch.

I’m sure you can also find posts that can better articulate why this movie is so groundbreaking & important as well, which is something I didn’t particularly touch on in this post.

[tunapesto]

meta/dump about how much i love deltarune and its friendships just cause why the hell not. copy pasted from discord with some fixes in grammar/formatting but eng is still not my first language so be wary. i wanted to post it here because i think it sums up a lot of my thoughts :)

you know ive had a realization recently due to personal events etc etc and like. i keep thinking about "you can't choose who you are in this world" and how much it connects to the theme of being a teen... that whole vessel thing.

I know I know it's supposed to be an intro to how the player is involved in the story but it reminds me so much of being a teen and trying to change yourself and imagining who you are ideally, but you're still you.

You can't choose who you are, you're just you.

the main cast is a bunch of teens with a bunch of issues regarding family or lack thereof, some unhealthy coping mechanisms and how you act around people that happen When You're A Teen

susie being seen as scary and mean, when she’s everything but that, decides to just accept what people think. act tough so they cant do shit to her. she's scared of being hurt and being vulnerable so she makes sure not to show that.

ralsei has been under pressure to live up to the prophecy best he can all his life, and given that he’s been all alone all his life, he just doesn’t want them to be disappointed. hes so scared of deviating from being the "good person of the group" that any act of selfishness or being rude is practically a foreign thought for him. he even has to learn how to be comfortable with these things.

kris tries to be edgy and all that sometimes bc they like joking around but really they're very meek and soft inside. They're a bit introverted but once you get to know them, they're a solid friend and they aren't afraid to stand up for you and they don't want to step over people's boundaries because that's their friend.

We don't have much info on how kris feels over their parents' divorce but it's probably not good. asriel going away, them probably being a bit distant with noelle ever since dess, and the awkward relationship they have with both parents because the toriel just refuses to be in the same room as asgore anymore. they probably feel like after that divorce, and how everyone got a bit more busy, they don't feel like their own family knows them very well. except for asriel at least but hes still really busy.

And then there's Noelle. the holiday family has all sorts of vague fucked up shit but the most interesting thing to me is dess. she was her guardian, her best friend practically, she defended noelle and looked out for her and even though they all went out in the woods being scared shitless, noelle would still be comforted by her big sis who was there for her. and now she isn't. that sudden loss flipped the balance in the family and, you'd understand, a missing child would not do any good for any of the family members. noelle finds comfort in scary things like a memorium of dess and how she felt about her. she finds them nostalgic, and even sweet, as long as there is someone there. it even plays to how she interacts with people.

ever since dess' loss, carol (noelle’s mom) probably worked her ass off to find her, and after a few years of trying to find her missing daughter, then giving up, deciding to just bury herself in work to forget. there was a lot of things that needed to be done about the town anyway. rudy, like the story, lead the pack of reindeers in the night with a brightly lit red nose. he was the light of the family. kept some of the balance with lighthearted humor, banter and all stuff dad-like. but then he got sick. and then it was noelle and her mom all alone. all that stress probably sucked a lot of emotion from carol to actually properly look out for her child in a caring way and how she's always so busy.. and then noelle is alone again. sometimes she stays over at catti's, shes a close friend, and over the years theyve probably considered her as part of their family.

so all these teens, going through all these problems, they meet each other. they interact, they grow, they become friends. my point is that deltarune as a story has friendship and coming of age as one of its cores and its so beautiful. the cast learns how to make friends, to be vulnerable with one another, to let their guards down and just hang out. they have their first crushes, they find out a few things about themselves, and sort out some of their own issues too.

obviously deltarune isn't finished so this can all be thrown in the gutter and I don't want to be sappy but i truly truly appreciate deltarune as a game and as a story, it's just so personal to me over the past few months and it's so fun to analyze all these characters and explore their pasts and relationships, and how much I relate to them.

like.... take the fun gang, for example. including lancer here. they all learn or gain something from each other in a sense, y'know? They're a nice group of friends. susie and lancer are just having fun being themselves, and lancer learns how to stand up for his friends. he wants to help them so he attacks his own dad, which he himself wanted to protect, and then gathers all citizens of the town so he can help them. susie decides not to fight because she doesnt want to hurt her friend because she cares. then she puts her full trust in kris to do the right thing. she does not fight until the king prompted them to.

susie and kris. they start off as cold as can be, but it seems like kris wanted to be friends with susie at some point before dr took place or at least just didn't think of her as a bad person. and then, at the king fight, where the king tricks them all and hurts them badly. the soul has no control in this cutscene. and yet, despite being hurt, they defend susie. They stood up and shielded her from the attack. when the king takes kris to finish them off, susie pays the favor in turn and calls them her friend. that cutscene was just fucking glorious man.

and then we have susie and ralsei. again, they start off on different ends but at the fight... susie remembers ralsei's pacify spell. and of course she did. in dr chapter 2, where their friendship really shines, susie thinks ralsei is really fucking cool. aka his healing spell. And she took the opportunity to hang out with ralsei on her own and asked about how healing spells worked and they ate cotton candy together!!! ...  susie teaches ralsei how to banter. how sarcasm works and all that. ralsei's sarcasm isnt exactly very top tier or comedic, but it's genuine, and thats what ralsei is. ultimateheal isnt the most 'helpful' at this moment in time but as chapters keep going and their bond grows stronger, that spell probably grows stronger too, because that was how she learned that spell in the first place. And of course why the hell would susie pass on the opportunity to improve this spell. She's Susie, after all!

im mainly talking about susie's friendships here btw bcoz to me she's the very heart of the group. she's a very wonderful and multifaceted character with many traits and how she joshes with other characters it just.. meshes so well. she's very likeable and fun. she's the powerhouse, the comedic relief sometimes, and when needed, she can be very mature and caring. she's the core of all these friendships and its very sweet. I wish I could talk about other relationships here but like my brain juice is gone. also some friendships like kris n ralsei, ralsei n lancer, aren't particularly very fleshed out yet. noelle and kris, i think, deserve their own essay. noelle and ralsei haven't interacted much lol. i really do look forward to the upcoming chapters of this game bc i adore it with all my heart.

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

“Elliot Page doesn’t remember exactly how long he had been asking.

But he does remember the acute feeling of triumph when, around age 9, he was finally allowed to cut his hair short. “I felt like a boy,” Page says. “I wanted to be a boy. I would ask my mom if I could be someday.” Growing up in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Page visualized himself as a boy in imaginary games, freed from the discomfort of how other people saw him: as a girl. After the haircut, strangers finally started perceiving him the way he saw himself, and it felt both right and exciting.

The joy was short-lived. Months later, Page got his first break, landing a part as a daughter in a Canadian mining family in the TV movie Pit Pony. He wore a wig for the film, and when Pit Pony became a TV show, he grew his hair out again. “I became a professional actor at the age of 10,” Page says. And pursuing that passion came with a difficult compromise. “Of course I had to look a certain way.”

We are speaking in late February. It is the first interview Page, 34, has given since disclosing in December that he is transgender, in a heartfelt letter posted to Instagram, and he is crying before I have even uttered a question. “Sorry, I’m going to be emotional, but that’s cool, right?” he says, smiling through his tears.

It’s hard for him to talk about the days that led up to that disclosure. When I ask how he was feeling, he looks away, his neck exposed by a new short haircut. After a pause, he presses his hand to his heart and closes his eyes. “This feeling of true excitement and deep gratitude to have made it to this point in my life,” he says, “mixed with a lot of fear and anxiety.”

It’s not hard to understand why a trans person would be dealing with conflicting feelings in this moment. Increased social acceptance has led to more young people describing themselves as trans—1.8% of Gen Z compared with 0.2% of boomers, according to a recent Gallup poll—yet this has fueled conservatives who are stoking fears about a “transgender craze.” President Joe Biden has restored the right of transgender military members to serve openly, and in Hollywood, trans people have never had more meaningful time onscreen. Meanwhile, J.K. Rowling is leveraging her cultural capital to oppose transgender equality in the name of feminism, and lawmakers are arguing in the halls of Congress over the validity of gender identities. “Sex has become a political football in the culture wars,” says Chase Strangio, deputy director for transgender justice at the ACLU.

(Full article with photos continued under the “read more”)

And so Page—who charmed America as a precocious pregnant teenager in Juno, constructed dreamscapes in Inception and now stars in Netflix’s hit superhero show The Umbrella Academy, the third season of which he’s filming in Toronto—expected that his news would be met with both applause and vitriol. “What I was anticipating was a lot of support and love and a massive amount of hatred and transphobia,” says Page. “That’s essentially what happened.” What he did not anticipate was just how big this story would be. Page’s announcement, which made him one of the most famous out trans people in the world, started trending on Twitter in more than 20 countries. He gained more than 400,000 new followers on Instagram on that day alone. Thousands of articles were published. Likes and shares reached the millions. Right-wing podcasters readied their rhetoric about “women in men’s locker rooms.” Casting directors reached out to Page’s manager saying it would be an honor to cast Page in their next big movie.

So, it was a lot. Over the course of two conversations, Page will say that understanding himself in all the specifics remains a work in progress. Fathoming one’s gender, an identity innate and performed, personal and social, fixed and evolving, is complicated enough without being under a spotlight that never seems to turn off. But having arrived at a critical juncture, Page feels a deep sense of responsibility to share his truth. “Extremely influential people are spreading these myths and damaging rhetoric—every day you’re seeing our existence debated,” Page says. “Transgender people are so very real.”

That role in Pit Pony led to other productions and eventually, when Page was 16, to a film called Mouth to Mouth. Playing a young anarchist, Page had a chance to cut his hair again. This time, he shaved it off completely. The kids at his high school teased him, but in photos he has posted from that time on social media he looks at ease. Page’s head was still shaved when he mailed in an audition tape for the 2005 thriller Hard Candy. The people in charge of casting asked him to audition again in a wig. Soon, the hair was back.

Page’s tour de force performance in Hard Candy led, two years later, to Juno, a low-budget indie film that brought Page Oscar, BAFTA and Golden Globe nominations and sudden megafame. The actor, then 21, struggled with the stresses of that ascension. The endless primping, red carpets and magazine spreads were all agonizing reminders of the disconnect between how the world saw Page and who he knew himself to be. “I just never recognized myself,” Page says. “For a long time I could not even look at a photo of myself.” It was difficult to watch the movies too, especially ones in which he played more feminine roles.

Page loved making movies, but he also felt alienated by Hollywood and its standards. Alia Shawkat, a close friend and co-star in 2009’s Whip It,describes all the attention from Juno as scarring. “He had a really hard time with the press and expectations,” Shawkat says. “‘Put this on! And look this way! And this is sexy!’”

By the time he appeared in blockbusters like X-Men: The Last Stand and Inception, Page was suffering from depression, anxiety and panic attacks. He didn’t know, he says, “how to explain to people that even though [I was] an actor, just putting on a T-shirt cut for a woman would make me so unwell.” Shawkat recalls Page’s struggles with clothes. “I’d be like, ‘Hey, look at all these nice outfits you’re getting,’ and he would say, ‘It’s not me. It feels like a costume,’” she says. Page tried to convince himself that he was fine, that someone who was fortunate enough to have made it shouldn’t have complaints. But he felt exhausted by the work required to “just exist,” and thought more than once about quitting acting.

In 2014, Page came out as gay, despite feeling for years that “being out was impossible” given his career. (Gender identity and sexual orientation are, of course, distinct, but one queer identity can coexist with another.) In an emotional speech at a Human Rights Campaign conference, Page talked about being part of an industry “that places crushing standards” on actors and viewers alike. “There are pervasive stereotypes about masculinity and femininity that define how we’re all supposed to act, dress and speak,” Page went on. “And they serve no one.”

The actor started wearing suits on the red carpet. He found love, marrying choreographer Emma Portner in 2018. He asserted more agency in his career, producing his own films with LGBTQ leads like Freeheld and My Days of Mercy. And he made a masculine wardrobe a condition of taking roles. Yet the daily discord was becoming unbearable. “The difference in how I felt before coming out as gay to after was massive,” says Page. “But did the discomfort in my body ever go away? No, no, no, no.”

In part, it was the isolation forced by the pandemic that brought to a head Page’s wrestling with gender. (Page and Portner separated last summer, and the two divorced in early 2021. “We’ve remained close friends,” Page says.) “I had a lot of time on my own to really focus on things that I think, in so many ways, unconsciously, I was avoiding,” he says. He was inspired by trailblazing trans icons like Janet Mock and Laverne Cox, who found success in Hollywood while living authentically. Trans writers helped him understand his feelings; Page saw himself reflected in P. Carl’s memoir Becoming a Man. Eventually “shame and discomfort” gave way to revelation. “I was finally able to embrace being transgender,” Page says, “and letting myself fully become who I am.”

This led to a series of decisions. One was asking the world to call him by a different name, Elliot, which he says he’s always liked. Page has a tattoo that says E.P. PHONE HOME, a reference to a movie about a young boy with that name. “I loved E.T. when I was a kid and always wanted to look like the boys in the movies, right?” he says. The other decision was to use different pronouns—for the record, both he/him and they/them are fine. (When I ask if he has a preference on pronouns for the purposes of this story, Page says, “He/him is great.”)

A day before we first speak, Page will talk to his mom about this interview and she will tell him, “I’m just so proud of my son.” He grows emotional relating this and tries to explain that his mom, the daughter of a minister, who was born in the 1950s, was always trying to do what she thought was best for her child, even if that meant encouraging young Page to act like a girl. “She wants me to be who I am and supports me fully,” Page says. “It is a testament to how people really change.”

Another decision was to get top surgery. Page volunteers this information early in our conversation; at the time he posted his disclosure on Instagram, he was recovering in Toronto. Like many trans people, Page emphasizes being trans isn’t all about surgery. For some people, it’s unnecessary. For others, it’s unaffordable. For the wider world, the media’s focus on it has sensationalized transgender bodies, inviting invasive and inappropriate questions. But Page describes surgery as something that, for him, has made it possible to finally recognize himself when he looks in the mirror, providing catharsis he’s been waiting for since the “total hell” of puberty. “It has completely transformed my life,” he says. So much of his energy was spent on being uncomfortable in his body, he says. Now he has that energy back.

For the transgender community at large, visibility does not automatically lead to acceptance. Around the globe, transgender people deal disproportionately with violence and discrimination. Anti-trans hate crimes are on the rise in the U.K. along with increasingly transphobic rhetoric in newspapers and tabloids. In the U.S., in addition to the perennial challenges trans people face with issues like poverty and homelessness, a flurry of bills in state legislatures would make it a crime to provide transition-related medical care to trans youth. And crass old jokes are still in circulation. When Biden lifted the ban on open service for transgender troops, Saturday Night Live’s Michael Che did a bit on Weekend Update about the policy being called “don’t ask, don’t tuck.”

Page says coming out as trans was “selfish” on one level: “It’s for me. I want to live and be who I am.” But he also felt a moral imperative to do so, given the times. Human identity is complicated and mysterious, but politics insists on fitting everything into boxes. In today’s culture wars, simplistic beliefs about gender—e.g., chromosomes = destiny—are so widespread and so deep-seated that many people who hold those beliefs don’t feel compelled to consider whether they might be incomplete or prejudiced. On Feb. 24, after a passionate debate on legislation that would ban discrimination against LGBTQ people, Representative Marie Newman, an Illinois Democrat, proudly displayed the pride flag in support of her daughter, who is trans. Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene, a Georgia Republican, responded by hanging a poster outside her office that read: There are TWO genders: MALE & FEMALE.

The next day Dr. Rachel Levine, who stands to become the first openly transgender federal official confirmed by the Senate, endured a tirade from Senator Rand Paul about “genital mutilation” during her confirmation hearing. My second conversation with Page happens shortly after this. He brings it up almost immediately, and seems both heartbroken and determined. He wants to emphasize that top surgery, for him, was “not only life-changing but lifesaving.” He implores people to educate themselves about trans lives, to learn how crucial medical care can be, to understand that lack of access to it is one of the many reasons that an estimated 41% of transgender people have attempted suicide, according to one survey.

Page has been in the political trenches for a while, having leaned into progressive activism after coming out as queer in 2014. For two seasons, he and best friend Ian Daniel filmed Gaycation, a Viceland series that explored LGBTQ culture around the world and, at one point, showed Page grilling Senator Ted Cruz at the Iowa State Fair about discrimination against queer people. In 2019, Page made a documentary called There’s Something in the Water, which explores environmental hardships experienced by communities of color in Nova Scotia, with $350,000 of his own money. That activism extends to his own industry: in 2017, he published a Facebook post that, among other things, accused director Brett Ratner of forcibly outing him as gay on the set of an X-Men movie. (A representative for Ratner did not respond to a request for comment.)

As a trans person who is white, wealthy and famous, Page has a unique kind of privilege, and with it an opportunity to advocate for those with less. According to the U.S. Trans Survey, a large-scale report from 2015, transgender people of color are more likely to experience unemployment, harassment by police and refusals of medical care. Nearly half of all Black respondents reported being denied equal treatment, verbally harassed and/or physically attacked in the past year. Trans people as a group fare much worse on such stats than the general population. “My privilege has allowed me to have resources to get through and to be where I am today,” Page says, “and of course I want to use that privilege and platform to help in the ways I can.”

Since his disclosure, Page has been mostly quiet on social media. One exception has been to tweet on behalf of the ACLU, which is in the midst of fighting anti-trans bills and laws around the country, including those that ban transgender girls and women from participating in sports. Mississippi Governor Tate Reeves says he will sign such a bill in the name of “protect[ing] young girls.” Page played competitive soccer and vividly recalls the agony of being told he would have to play on the girls’ team once he aged out of mixed-gender squads. After an appeal, Page was allowed to play with the boys for an additional year. Today, several bills list genitalia as a requirement for deciding who plays on which team. “I would have been in that position as a kid,” Page says. “It’s horrific.”

All this advocacy is unlikely to make life easier. “You can’t enter into certain spaces as a public trans person,” says the ACLU’s Strangio, “without being prepared to spend some percentage of your life being threatened and harassed.” Yet, while he seems overwhelmed at times, Page is also eager. Many of the political attacks on trans people—whether it is a mandate that bathroom use be determined by birth sex, a blanket ban on medical interventions for trans kids or the suggestion that trans men are simply wayward women beguiled by male privilege—carry the same subtext: that trans people are mistaken about who they are. “We know who we are,” Page says. “People cling to these firm ideas [about gender] because it makes people feel safe. But if we could just celebrate all the wonderful complexities of people, the world would be such a better place.”

Even if Page weren’t vocal, his public presence would communicate something powerful. That is in part because of what Paisley Currah, a professor of political science at Brooklyn College, calls “visibility gaps.” Historically, trans women have been more visible, in culture and in Hollywood, than trans men. There are many explanations: Our culture is obsessed with femininity. Men’s bodies are less policed and scrutinized. Patriarchal people tend to get more emotional about who is considered to be in the same category as their daughters. “And a lot of trans men don’t stand out as trans,” says Currah, who is a trans man himself. “I think we’ve taken up less of the public’s attention because masculinity is sort of the norm.”

During our interviews, Page will repeatedly refer to himself as a “transgender guy.” He also calls himself nonbinary and queer, but for him, transmasculinity is at the center of the conversation right now. “It’s a complicated journey,” he says, “and an ongoing process.”

While the visibility gap means that trans men have been spared some of the hate endured by trans women, it has also meant that people like Page have had fewer models. “There were no examples,” Page says of growing up in Halifax in the 1990s. There are many queer people who have felt “that how they feel deep inside isn’t a real thing because they never saw it reflected back to them,” says Tiq Milan, an activist, author and transgender man. Page offers a reflection: “They can see that and say, ‘You know what, that’s who I am too,’” Milan says. When there aren’t examples, he says, “people make monsters of us.”

For decades, that was something Hollywood did. As detailed in the 2020 Netflix documentary Disclosure, transgender people have been portrayed onscreen as villainous and deceitful, tragic subplots or the butt of jokes. In a sign of just how far the industry has come—spurred on by productions like Pose and trailblazers like Mock—Netflix offered to change the credits on The Umbrella Academy the same day that its star posted his statement on social media. Now when an episode ends, the first words viewers see are “Elliot Page.”

Today, there are many out trans and nonbinary actors, directors and producers. Storylines involving trans people are more common, more respectful. Sometimes that aspect of identity is even incidental, rather than the crux of a morality tale. And yet Hollywood can still seem a frightening place for LGBTQ people to come out. “It’s an industry that says, ‘Don’t do that,’” says director Silas Howard, who got his break on Amazon’s show Transparent, which made efforts to hire transgender crew members. “I wouldn’t have been hired if they didn’t have a trans initiative,” Howard says. “I’m always aware of that.”

So what will it mean for Page’s career? While Page has appeared in many projects, he also faced challenges landing female leads because he didn’t fit Hollywood’s narrow mold. Since Page’s Instagram post, his team is seeing more activity than they have in years. Many of the offers coming in—to direct, to produce, to act—are trans-related, but there are also some “dude roles.”

Downtime in quarantine helped Page accept his gender identity. “I was finally able to embrace being transgender,” he says.

Page was attracted to the role of Vanya in The Umbrella Academy because—in the first season, released in 2019—Vanya is crushed by self-loathing, believing herself to be the only ordinary sibling in an extraordinary family. The character can barely summon the courage to move through the world. “I related to how much Vanya was closed off,” Page says. Now on set filming the third season, co-workers have seen a change in the actor. “It seems like there’s a tremendous weight off his shoulders, a feeling of comfort,” says showrunner Steve Blackman. “There’s a lightness, a lot more smiling.” For Page, returning to set has been validating, if awkward at times. Yes, people accidentally use the wrong pronouns—“It’s going to be an adjustment,” Page says—but co-workers also see and acknowledge him.

The debate over whether cisgender people, who have repeatedly collected awards for playing trans characters, should continue to do so has largely been settled. However, trans actors have rarely been considered for cisgender parts. Whatever challenges might lie ahead, Page seems exuberant about playing a new spectrum of roles. “I’m really excited to act, now that I’m fully who I am, in this body,” Page says. “No matter the challenges and difficult moments of this, nothing amounts to getting to feel how I feel now.”

This includes having short hair again. During our interview, Page keeps rearranging strands on his forehead. It took a long time for him to return to the barber’s chair and ask to cut it short, but he got there. And how did that haircut feel?

Page tears up again, then smiles. “I just could not have enjoyed it more,” he says.”

[raineydays411]

Thanks T

 Summary: A dad is supposed to be your rock. Someone you can go to when times are hard. Someone whos supposed to protect you. WHat happens when your dad doesn’t fit the bill, and Tony does?

A/n: Hello yall! So this story hit really close to home for me lmao. It was mentioned that there aren’t any good dad/step dad Tony fics so I hope you like it. Everyone thank @alphaandromedae97 and an anon for this fic. 

Hope yall enjoy!

Your life was complicated. 

How can it not be when Tony “billionaire playboy” Stark is your step dad. 

Yes you read that right, step dad. It’s funny really, turns out he has a thing for waitresses that aren’t interested in him at first. That waitress being your mom.

They met when she was working a shift at the restaurant she works at, and he came in with Avengers. He expected her to fall at their feet like everyone else did, but she just scoffed and asked for their order. Pretty epic. 

Then one long montage later, and they ended up getting married. You were happy for your mom, of course. Deep down, Tony is a good man and you knew he’d do anything for your mom. And he’s always been nice to you, making sure you were okay with him proposing and then you moving upstate with him and your mom. He always made sure you felt included, maybe a little too much. He actually took interest in your life, which you’ll always appreciate. 

But you were a total daddy's girl by heart. You always felt like you had a close relationship with your biological father. He was a good dad, he took you out to movies, went to recitals, and always made sure to take you to the father-daughter dance your school district put on every year. It was your tradition. But after your parents divorced a few years ago, it seemed like he was getting more and more distant from you. He stopped calling as much, would skip out on your days to visit him and when you did visit, he’d lock himself in his office, claiming he had to finish some paperwork. It broke your heart, knowing that a man you were so close with, seems to be detaching himself from your life. But, in his defence he always managed to take you to the father-daughter dance. He always did. No matter how long the both of you went without seeing each other, no matter how long you haven’t spoken, he always made sure to take you. 

That act alone, reassured you that he did still love you. He was just busy. In fact, you were getting ready to go to the final father-daughter dance, as you were going to graduate this year and therefore you would be too old to attend the next year. This year was especially important to you. You wanted this night to be perfect. 

And you were positive your father would pull through as he has the past years.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were filled with excitement as you tried on multiple different dresses. You always liked this part of getting ready, the dress shopping. 

The confidence you feel when you finally found the right dress. The happy feeling you and your mother had, browsing through the dress shop downtown. Tony offered to buy you a custom designer dress, but you couldn’t accept. This was the shop you’ve been going to since you were a little girl, since you went to your very first dance with your dad. Call it nostalgia or tradition, but you couldn’t shop anywhere else. 

“ Hey ma! I think I found the one.” You shout from the dressing room, finally finding your dress after hours of searching. 

“Come out here and let’s see bug” She replies from where shes seated. You take a deep breath, soothing the wrinkles on the dress and walking outside. Your mother gasps as she see the gown. It was beautiful really. It was a glittery, lilac purple floor length dress with spaghetti straps. And it even had pockets! You were absolutely obsessed. Plus, you could probably use it as a prom dress if you really wanted to.

“Oh baby...you look so beautiful...” You mom says, tearing for the millionth time. 

“Ma, are you crying again?!” You laugh, “ Come on, that's the fifth time you’ve cried since we’ve been in the store!”

She laughs with you, sniffling as she wipes her tears,” I’m sorry, but you’re getting so big, it feels like it was only yesterday we were walking in this shop to get your first dress...and now...” She starts to cry again.

You smile softly, understanding what your mom was saying. You were in kindergarten when you first started attending these meetings, now you’re a senior in highschool. 

“Alright, no more crying. It’s a happy day for you. Has your father called texted you when he was going to come pick you up?” Your mom asked wiping her tears.

You frown, “ No, I haven;’t hear from him since two weeks ago when he said he wanted to get lunch.”

You can see your mom roll her eyes in the mirror, “ Mom he’s just busy. I’m sure he’ll call when he can.”

“Oh sure, I just hate that he doesn’t answer you fast enough.”

“I know ma, but he has work” You argue, “ He calls when he can, and that's okay.”

Your mom sighs, knowing that you were stubborn when it comes to your father. 

“ Well, let’s get this wrapped, Tony wants to get lunch and we need to convince him to get something other than shawarma.” 

You roll your eyes, “ God, what’s with that man and shawarma. It’s like his life line or something”

“I know!”

After the two of you buy the dress, you pick up Tony from the HQ. You loved the drive up there,mainly because of the scenery, but also cause you can see Cap running laps outside.

“Hell my love, hey kiddo” Tony greets switching seats with your mom.

‘Hey T” You greet, smiling at the man. 

“Did you find the dress?” He asks, driving away from his place of work and to a restaurant. 

“Yeah! It’s like the one I told you I wanted. I was surprised it was there to be honest.” You reply, “ Mom practically dehydrated herself shopping though.”

“Oh? How many times did she cry this time? Cause she was crying earlier when she was getting read-- OW! Hey I’m driving” He exclaims as your mom swats his arm.

You giggle at their antics, chest warming with the sight of your mom happy again.

“She cried five times while we were shopping. Five!”

“Five? I didn’t know the human body had that much water.”

The two of you chuckled as your mom made an offended noise.

“I hate that the two of you get on so well.” She pouts, “ And excuse me if I’m a little sad my baby is growing up so fast.”

You tune out the rest of their conversation as your phone buzzes. 

Dad

Hey kid, I’m gonna have to meet you at the school tomorrow. I have a meeting that’s gonna run late.

You

Okay daddy, I’ll see you there <3

You frown, your dad always managed to pick you up from the house. He used to take you to eat before the dance. And he always used to take the day off, devoting his time to you.

“ Uh oh, someone's frowning back there.” Tony remarks, “ What’s wrong kiddo, did a character off that show you like die/”

“Uh no, ma do you think you can drop me off at the dance tomorrow? Dad said he has a late meeting and won’t be able to pick me up.”

Your mother makes eye contact with Tony. They both know how your father has been flaking on you and how it breaks your heart that he does. It makes Tony especially mad because it remind him of his childhood. How his father really didn’t pay attention to him unless he was criticizing  his life choices.

“ Hey y/n, I can drop you off if you want.” Tony offers, “ I really don’t mind.”

You smile, “Thanks T.” 

“No problem kid.”

And with that he pulls into the restaurant parking lot. 

As your family is seated, you take a quick look around the restaurant, wanting to see the reactions of the patrons when they realize Tony Stark is in the building. But as you do, you see a man who looks very familiar. But before you can take a closer look your mom interrupts you.

“Y/n, you know it's rude to stare.”

“Oh sorry mom.” 

So you take a seat and continue with your meal. You tune out your mother and Tony’s conversation as you can’t take your mind off of that man. You take a quick glance back while your parents discuss the dessert menu.

That’s when you realize that the man was your father!

You stand up from the table and make your way towards the man. Surprised to see him there because as far as you know, he’s supposed to be in a meeting right now.

“Daddy?” You ask cautiously. The man tenses up before turning to you.

“Y/n? Honey what are you doing here?” You notice he doesn’t make an attempt to get up and hug you. 

And you also notice the second plate of food across from him and a napkin stained with what looked like lipstick.

“Um, T and Ma wanted to grab dinner.. I thought you were at a meeting?”

“This is a five star restaurant, and you just stopped in?” He asks ignoring your question, “ Of course Stark did..”

You wanted to roll your eyes. Everytime your mother was even close to being happy, your dad always found something wrong with the person she was with. But he seemed to have a strong disliking towards Tony for some reason.

“Um right...So you told me you were in a meeting? That’s why I couldn’t come over after dress shopping?”

“Right! A meeting...I’m currently in right now.” He says quickly looking towards the women's bathroom, “ You should go back to your table hon, my boss is really strict”

“Oh right, sorry” You say dejected, “ I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” your dad says with a soft smile, “ I love you Bug.”

You smile at the nickname your parents gave you, “ I love you too pop.” 

And with that you walk off, back to your mother and Tony. You can see they’re trying to hide the fact that they were watching by covering their face with the dessert menus.

“Oh here you are, we got you a tiramisu” Tony says nonchalantly, pushing the dessert towards you.

“Uh huh” You hummed teasingly, “ Dad says hi by the way.” 

“ Oh does he now?” You mom said not convinced, “ That’s nice of him.”

You hummed, mouthful of cake signaling that you were done with the conversation. Your family finished up their meals and signaled for the check. As you were walking out the restaurant, you turned to say goodbye to your dad, only to see his “boss” was back from the restroom.

Only this boss was a 5′3, brunette bombshell in a tight red dress and having her neck kissed by the man you call your father. 

Your stomach felt sick.

“Oh gross, I really didn’t need to see that.” You mutter catching the attention of Tony who was behind you. 

“See what kid?” He asks following your gaze, “Oh. Yikes is that even allowed? I didn’t know your dad was a vampire.”

You snort, “ Oh god T, that's disgusting.” 

He just laughs and pats your head, “ Come on, lets go before your mom yells at us.”

You smile, but you wondered why your dad didn’t tell you that he was on a date. Or that he was even seeing someone?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thoughts of your fathers secrets where wiped from your brain as you scrambled to get ready for the dance the next day.

Tony surprised you and your mom with a mani-pedi day at 10am and a hair appointment for you at 1pm. After you had to get shoes for your dress at the mall and then be home by 5pm to get your dress and makeup on, take pictures, and then be out the door by 7pm to take pictures with your dad, then finally be at the dance by 8pm when doors open. 

The whole day you were messaging your dad about how excited you are, getting similar replays back. He pays for you shoes and complements your hair. 

Your heart swells as you think about how hard it was in the beginning of the divorce. But your father always tried his best to spend time with you and made sure you knew he loved you.  

It was hard on you at first, but you appreciate that he tried for you. The fact that he’s been taking you to this dance since you were a little girl is proof enough. You were a little sentimental, this was your last dance after all. 

You smiled looking at yourself in the mirror. You looked beautiful in your dress. Your makeup was done to perfection and you had gotten a silk press in your hair. You felt like a princess.  You heard your mom sniffle.

“Mom, again?” You laugh,turning to face her.

“I’m sorry! You just look so beautiful!” she says with a sad smile, “ God, you grew up so fast bug” 

You roll your eyes, but feel the tears spring to your eyes as well, “ Ma! Stop I can’t ruin my make up” 

You both laugh as you fan your eyes

“You ready?” She asks, “ Tony’s waiting for you in the living room.”

You nod, gathering your things and walking out the door. You let your mom walk down the stairs first. You can hear Tony and you assume Happy in the living room. You finally make it down the stairs. It turns out it was Tony, Happy, and Peter Parker. Your mom was chatting with them and they all had their back turned to you. 

“Ahem.” You clear your throat, catching their attention.

You see Peter stiffen as he gazes at you and mutters a soft “Wow”

You blush, what can you say he’s a cutie.

 Happy gives you a comforting smile.

 And Tony?

He has a soft look on his face, “ Jeez kid, you clean up well.” 

You laugh, “ Better than you old man, what's up with the pants?”

He had on Iron Man pj pants.

“Oh hush.” He laughs, “ You look beautiful kiddo.” 

You look down with a grin.

“Oh pose for some pictures!” You mom says excitedly, “ Go Y/n, by your self first and then with me. Then with Tony.”

You sigh, knowing how long it was gonna take.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finally after three million pictures, your mom and Tony drove you to the school.

“Okay bug, is your dad here?” Your mom asks looking around at the group. 

“Yeah! He should be inside.” You say kissing your mom goodbye and waving to Tony. You show the ticket and waltz in the gym. 

You smile and wave at classmates and parents. These people you’ve known since you were a child and who knew you. You finally got to the table you always sat at woth your dad. 

It was empty.

You frown and look at your phone.

Me

On my way pop!

It said the message was read.

“He must be on  driving” You think to yourself as you sat at the table.

But then twenty minutes passed. Then an hour. then two

You were still there, waiting for your dad to come. You sent five messages and they all remained unopened. 

You looked around the gym, seeing a few parents looking at you with pity in their eyes. You can barely stand it.

You got up and went to the restroom, trying not to cry. and in the restroom you tried calling you father, but you were sent to voicemail. The you finally got a message. 

Dad

“I’m so sorry bug, I can’t make it to the dance. I have a meeting today. :(”

You felt dejected. Humiliated. 

Your father has rearranged visitation days, skipped out on little crimonied and rectitals you’ve had, but this by far was the most disappointing thing he has done. 

He promised multiple times that he’d be here. Never has he ever skipped out on the dance before.  ANd he knew how important this was to you. Thi was your last dance, and he ruined it. 

You let yourself cry. You sobbed as you realized that your father has been distancing himself from you. That your relationship hasn’t been okay for a while. And you just didn’t want to let go.

You sigh as you realize you’ve been in the restroom for a while. You stand up and look at your face. Despite the red eyes and slightly red nose, your make up was pretty much intact.

“Huh at least my setting spray hasn’t let me down.” You say to your self. After a few mintues of calming down, you walk out of the restroom and bump into a figure. 

“Sorry” you mutter about to pass the person. 

“Gee you took a while in there, I told you not to get that coffee kid.” 

You quickly look up and se Tony.

Dressed in a suit, flowers in hand.

“Hey kid.” He says softly

“what..what are you doing here?” You whisper, tears filling your eyes again.

“Well apparently you need an rent a dad, and I happened to be in the neighborhood.” He jokes, then says, “ I’m sorry your dad didn’t come kiddo, and I know I’m not him, and quite frankly I’m glad I’m not. But I do love you like you’re my own, and well...yeah here I am.”

You stay quiet, looking at Tony in wonder. Touched that he did this for you.

“Of course if you just want to leave then we can just get out of here” He rambles nervously, “ But you gotta tell me kid cause I’m kinda freaking out.”

“Can we get ice cream after?” You ask him

“What?”

“After the dance, we should go get ice cream.” 

“Uh sure?” Tony says, “So what do you usually do at these things?” 

You laugh and steer him to the tables where they have all the activities at. You actually have more fun with him than you had recently wit your dad. Tony is definitely more competitive than your father and treats every game as a challenge. Not like something he’s humoring just for his kid. He celebrates with you instead of telling you to calm down. He chats with the adults, is nice to the kids, and does the goofy dances with you. Seeing Iron Man do the chicken dance is something you didn’t know you needed till now. He managed to turn this horrible night to one of the best ones you’ve had in quite a while. 

Finally the father daughter dance started to signal the end of the dance. Tony bowed dramatically and said in a horrible british accent, “ Lady Y/n?”

You laugh and make your way to the dance floor. You’re both quiet for a bit, snorting at how serious the other dads and their daughters look.

“Hey T?” You say softly, looking at the ground.

“Yeah kid?” 

“Thank you. It’s nice to know that one of my dad's isn’t a total asshole.” You say. knowing that this is the first time you referred to Tony as your dad.

His eyes get misty as he clears his throat,

“Anytime, bug”

[luckyqueenreign]

I posted 1,724 times in 2022

That's 1,724 more posts than 2021!

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#no but in all seriousness why did they make the lis all reject us at the same time

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

The Story of Us - is a four-part series that will delve into MC (Gemma) and Suresh's relationship pre-villa.

Part One: The Beginning of The End

Part Two: The Night It All Ended is out now and you can click the link to read it ^^

"The story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now"

Tag List: @future-mrs-suresh @squishy-noodles @hi-im-karla @kunepie @fujihime-litg @brasister @kvngdomheartz @katsie @0shewrites0 @whati390 @smexilexi420 @viperidae94 @abecerra611 @misterytull

(Let me know if you want to be added to tag list)

Gemma couldn’t breathe. It felt like the time she and her older brother, Luke, were playing soccer and he tackled her hard, knocking the wind right out of her. She sat here now in the living room of her childhood home with the same stunned silence, not remembering how to draw a breath. 

“Gemma? Honey, are you ok?” her mother Elle said as she stroked a loose strand of hair out of her face. 

“Gem, this is just a temporary separation. Your mother and I have been arguing a lot and we thought some time apart might be good for us,” her father Will said, squeezing her hand that had gone numb from the shock. 

Temporary separation. Temporary separation. Temporary separation.  She tossed the words around so many times in her mind that they had become a jumbled mess. 

Gemma couldn’t comprehend why they would ever need a temporary separation after 30 years of a seemingly happy relationship. 

“B-but w-why?” she finally said as tears rolled down her face. 

“Darling it’s complicated but your father and I are planning on going to therapy to work through it. We just need a little time apart first.” 

“This doesn’t make any sense!” Gemma said exasperated as she got up quickly and headed towards the door. 

“Gemma, quit acting like a petulant child and have a conversation with your mother and I,” Will said. 

But she slammed the door behind her and raced to her car. Tears burned her face as she drove away. 

Temporary separation. 

She didn’t understand this. Her parents were always so happy, doting on one another, holding hands and stealing kisses when they thought the kids weren’t looking. Gemma always watched them in admiration, hoping and wishing on every star in the sky that one day she would have a relationship like theirs. And now that was all supposed to just be over? 

Temporary separation. 

“Luke,” she said crying into her phone. “Did you talk to mom and dad?” 

“Yeah G, are you crying?” he said. 

“Of course I’m crying! Our parents are basically getting a divorce and you’re calm?!” 

“They said it was temporary to sort through their issues. Honestly, it sounded pretty healthy to me,” Luke said. 

“What? Are you serious right now?” 

“Gemma, they’re both adults. If being single is ultimately what will make them both happy, I'll support them. And you should stop being so selfish and support them too…you’re an adult now Gem -” She didn’t let her brother finish his thought, she hung up the phone in a fury tossing it on the passenger seat. 

When she got home, she immediately removed her jeans and top, opting for her stretchy sweatpants and Suresh’s law school sweatshirt. It was still the early afternoon, but she crawled into bed hugging her pillows, letting herself cry. Gemma wanted to be alone in her thoughts and so she didn’t call Suresh to tell him about her parents’ separation, but she could hear him unlocking the door to her apartment and making his way inside. 

“Gem?” He said, poking his head in her room and seeing if she was in there. When he saw her, he rushed over and climbed into bed with her. He moved the pillows she was hugging and pulled her onto his chest and held her close. 

“R-resh…they’re…they’re…separating,” She said through sobs.

“Shhh, babe it’s ok. Everything is going to be ok,” he said, stroking her hair. 

They stayed this way for what seemed like hours, with Suresh gently stroking her hair and her crying into his chest. At first, it was exactly what Gemma wanted, what she needed. Someone to be here for her in her hardest time. But then the heaviness of the day seemed to dawn on her and she couldn’t stop the train of negative thoughts from infiltrating her mind.

See the full post

112 notes - Posted October 14, 2022

#4

Gabrielle + Eddie

OK OK HERE ME OUT... I finally get why we need DontWasteMyTime Eddie’s Annoying Ass in the Villa! For WEEKS this man has done nothing but be the eyes and ears and just stirred up unnecessary drama for MC. She HUGGED Alfie on the swing set, the man ran to tell Suresh. She kissed Suresh in bed, he had to confront her about it. He assumed she went skinny dipping and told the entire villa lies. 😡

And now here’s where he’ll actually come of use to MC. CASA AMOR! If Gabrielle is a Casa girl. Do you think for a second EDWARD THE THIRST will spare a single solitary, salacious detail?! HE WILL NOT! Carry on! Edward. I still hate you... but carry on. 

112 notes - Posted September 15, 2022

#3

EPISODES 26-29 NO ONE SPEAK TO ME

ID LIKE TO BE LEFT ALONE WHILE I MOURN.

THIS WHOLE VILLA IS BURNING

120 notes - Posted September 21, 2022

#2

I was in good fun, called Suresh's public defender yesterday and I feel like I need to uphold my title...so here we go

In the case of Suresh vs The People @litglola presented us with evidence as to why Suresh isn't getting a redemption arc, and rather why FB never intended to give him one. I'll proceed with my evidence as to why not only is he getting one, but he definitely deserves one. Not going to go line by line on her theory, more so just showcasing why i feel like we are getting a redemption arc. 

Please no hate to Lola💖 she scared the shit out of me with her theory so I had to write this to calm my own nerves 😭

Exhibit A: FORESHADOWING…There are multiple instances this season where people ask MC if she wants to take Suresh back, Suresh asks MC to take her back, and people just give their overall opinion on the matter. And there’s one thing that is said over and over again. IT’S GOING TO TAKE TIME. FB tells you from the beginning that if you want Suresh, settle in because it’s going to be a while. Even if you choose the options where you actively want Suresh back, MC still tells Suresh “he needs to pull out all the stops.” She tells Dana “He’s got a long way to go to win me back.” Alfie says “Yeah, might take a while to work out where your heads at.” Suresh says "It's how it ends, not how it starts. And it feels like we're just getting started again now." And then later, “I’ll give you all the space you need. I'm ready to play the long game.” On the date Finn takes MC on he tells her she shouldn’t look backwards and you have an opportunity to tell you still have feelings for Suresh and he says ``is that enough to heal all the wounds though?” And MC responds “MAYBE IT JUST TAKES TIME”.  TIME. TIME. TIME. They told us from the very start, we’re getting a redemption but it’s going to take time. Why give us all these hints leading us in the path of a long-waited redemption,if they weren’t giving us a redemption arc? And think about it his redemption isn’t going to come overnight, they’ve already told us multiple times throughout the season it’s going to take time. 

Exhibit B: SURESH HAS NO IDEA WHERE MC’s HEADS AT…This isn’t just true after Casa Amor but throughout the entire season. When they first walk into the villa, he pretends to not be threatened by the other boys but then in the same breath says to MC “Surprised to see you taking a break from riling me up.” And here’s the thing you could’ve kept it SUPER PG with the boys, even pieing them off but Suresh always gives you the same reaction. He always believes that MC is flirting with the other guys and trying to move on from him. But he’s not even the only one, Finn also tells MC that the boys in the villa are crazy about her and Eddie pulls her to tell her that Alfie is crazy about her as well. Suresh has to know all of this. And with MC hanging out with them, laughing at their jokes, going on dates with them, etc. This has to make him MASSIVELY insecure about where he stands with her. It’s why he pulls Alfie for a chat about MC and tells him the only reason why she’s flirting with him is to make him jealous. It’s why he confronts her about it and tells her that she’s just playing games to put him off. Boldly claiming “I’m going to win you back. I know I said I need to convince you, and I will.” But it doesn’t end there, GUYS MC ASKS HIM FOR SPACE atm…the game forces MC to pull back from Suresh when he’s feeling vulnerable about his position with her. Which again is a CONSTANT this season…we will get back to this again.  

Exhibit C: SURESH’S BEHAVIOR GOES FROM WORSE TO WORSER…I think we learn a lot about MC + Suresh’s dynamics, when they speak to one another and when we hear MC speaking about him to the other islanders. Suresh claims MC plays games and MC claims the same about him. “Suresh has a habit of making things complicated but I don’t think he would sabotage me on purpose.” Honestly, I think FB wants us to see that they’re both toxic and messy. Because let’s remember FB wants you to flirt with Alfie, they want you to be coupled with him and for it to appear to Suresh that you’re moving on. Which is why we see his immature and shitty behavior after he couples up with Arlo. It’s why when you walk in after the skinny dipping rumor, Suresh is going absolutely nuts looking for his shoe. The man is salty, he’s jealous, he knows he’s fucked up but he plays MC’s game right back to her. My MC played FB’s game and she flirts with Alfie and kisses him on the date, Suresh is fuming and does the same. He becomes reckless flirting with MC on his date with Arlo because he’s desperate, he’s finally seeing that he might possibly lose her and he is spiraling and can’t handle it. I never said his actions were good, we know he’s the literal anti-hero, but that’s precisely why he needs to be redeemed. 

Exhibit D: THE PRE CASA AMOR SPEECH…After weeks of having absolutely no idea where MC’s head was at, seeing her sleep next to another boy, kiss other boys, Suresh FINALLY laid his cards on the table. He’s VULNERABLE like we’ve never seen him before. He tells her he wants to be with her, he gives her an ultimatum to tell him that night which we obviously know never happens. But I think this speech is the catalyst for all of his shitty post casa amor behavior. AND THIS SPEECH IN IT OF ITSELF we see how much he still loves MC here. He was the ONLY one to go up and check on her. He deserves redemption off of this speech alone 

Exhibit E: POST CASA AMOR SHITTY BEHAVIOR…These past two weeks i’ve been so confused. How could FB give us such a massive break in character? This is quite literally not the Suresh I know but an evil twin. And then NOPE…add up all the evidence you see above and that is precisely why we see his post-CA behavior. Every volume before this the man is extremely expressive, Suresh looks at you, smiles at you, frowns at you, etc. After Casa? NOTHING. He avoids your eye. He doesn’t speak to you. Why? Because he’s been vulnerable, he’s put it all out on the line for MC, ALL SEASON and when he finally went super hard for her and really made a go for it she still didn’t reciprocate his feelings. He’s in his head. He’s lived in his head all season long, it’s not surprising that he’s still in there. During SMP, In my eyes this was Suresh’s moment to redeem himself to finally speak to MC in front of everyone and confess his feelings for her, in front of the entire villa. And then he kissed Gabi. Stab in the heart. And then he married Meera. I GASPED. I was so CONFUSED. I tried to make sense of it, especially Gabi and then I realized that Alfie did the exact same thing. Alfie kissed Kat, if you’re on his route that’s the equivalent of him cheating on you bc he did. So are they killing TWO LIs at one go to introduce Finn as the one and only LI?? No. There has to be another explanation. And then it became more obvious. It just doesn’t mean anything to him. I know that’s shitty but he doesn’t care about Gabi and he probably didn't think MC would care either since in his head, she doesn’t care about him. If MC kisses him, he says it was amazing. When Gabi proposes to him, he looks at MC. When MC proposes to him he thanks her for the second chance and says it means alot to him. I still think because we’re in the middle of this scene it’s still too open ended to finish commenting on the rest but his shitty behavior still deserves an explanation and redemption.  

Exhibit F: THE BOAT!!!!!!! We know from the leaked assets one of the final dates is on a boat.  The second I played Guilty Secrets and when they got to the question about someone having sex on the boat, Suresh gives MC a cheeky grin. BUT SHE’S NOT THE ANSWER, ITS KAT. And I always thought HUH?, that’s so strange why did he look at us? But I kept playing until weeks later when it’s mentioned AGAIN. And this time IT’S A BIG MOMENT FOR THEM. Suresh remembers their Monte Carlo trip and how they almost had sex on a boat one time. This is when they can FINALLY kiss again. The fact that the boat memory was weaved in not once, but twice AND it’s a final date asset it’s basically SCREAMING to be a Suresh date. We need the redemption JUST for bits on the yacht, ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?! 

Exhibit G: IF NOT SURESH THEN WHO? I mean let’s be honest if we really dead Suresh as an LI are MC’s only choices really going to be Finn, Lulu and Gabi??? FINN?? The guy who hasn't looked MC's way since week one that's who we're going to close the show out with?? And then Alfie... we haven’t seen him lift a finger in a way of coming back to us either and even if he does, and only 2 male LIs??? I know this season lacked cast, period but that’s unheard of. For the sake of replayability this would give us little to no options.

125 notes - Posted October 27, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Gabrielle

Uh oh…Suresh Stans…  I can’t share the image I’ve seen or who sent it to me  But I CAN confirm Gabrielle DEF has a Turtle Tattoo and it is NOT on her neck….

THE PRESSURE IS GETTING WORSER 

193 notes - Posted September 13, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[tennessoui]

hi all of your aus are amazing! pls what happens with divorced!obiwan and the twins?

hey!! sorry this took so long i had to think of an appropriate cliffhanger

this is a continuation of this ficlet and this ficlet, where divorced!obi-wan accidentally acquires a partner and a set of twins.

(2k WHOOPS)

The twins are not, and probably have never been described by anyone except their father, angels. They take to Obi-Wan as well as Obi-Wan takes to them, which is to say that all three of them watch each other suspiciously until one day Luke launches himself off the top of the fridge--how the fuck did he manage to get up there--and Obi-Wan drops his morning toast in a frantic bid to catch him.

After that, Leia and Luke apparently decide he is Another Anakin Who Is Just Around A Lot Less But Is Better At Reading Bedtime Stories and deign to treat him as such.

Obi-Wan decides that he’s going to have a heart attack by the age of fifty. Do all children see a childproof house as a challenge?

It somehow takes both a longer and shorter time to win over Anakin’s favor, mostly because Obi-Wan isn’t sure what the man’s thinking at any given moment. He seems to blow hot and cold depending on how he woke up or how the work day goes. Some days, Obi-Wan comes home from campus and Anakin and the twins have waited to eat until he’s there. Sometimes they’ve eaten and there’s a meal under foil on the stove just for Obi-Wan.

(“I don’t know how you do it,” Obi-Wan tells him one night after the children are put to bed. “I mean, work from home with your job, mind the children, and cook?”

“They made me head of the R&D department a few months ago,” Anakin admits, taking a sip of his second glass of wine. “So I’m doing a lot more checking through other people’s work instead of making my own. It just means I can do that and make something edible--no, really, you just can’t cook, Obi-Wan, I’m not the best either.”

“Do you miss getting to make something other than food?” Obi-Wan asks eventually, giving himself enough time to recover from the sound of the other’s giggles.

Anakin shrugs languidly. “It’s better salary, and I’m the youngest ever in the company to have the position. Means I’ll pay off my student loans quicker, same with my mom’s hospital bills. Doesn’t matter what I want.”

Obi-Wan’s chest hurts and he wants to lean across the gap between their chairs and place his hand on Anakin’s arm, but they don’t know each other like that. It’s only been a month and a half since they moved in. Still. “It always matters what you want,” he insists. “And I think you’re amazing.”

Anakin blushes bright scarlet and takes a huge gulp of wine, and Obi-Wan wonders if this is a throwing-yourself-off-the-fridge break through.)

(It’s not because the next day, Anakin doesn’t say a single word to him, which bothers him more than he’d like to admit.)

(“Am I in the wrong for wanting to get along with my housemate?” Obi-Wan asks Quinlan despairingly during their office hours that he should be using to grade papers. Instead all he can think about is Anakin Skywalker and the goddamn cold shoulder he’s been getting from the man for the past three days.

“Yeah,” Quin says absentmindedly, marking something with a red pen before looking up at Obi-Wan’s outraged intake of breath. “I mean, no. I mean, sorry, Obi, what are we even talking about now? Is it still your hot new roommate with the two kids? Because that’s what we were talking about an hour and a half ago.”

Obi-Wan crosses his arms and leans back in his chair. “I’m just not sure I appreciate--”

“And you said he’s not been hanging around in the living room when you get home? But he’s still leaving you meals in the kitchen? And you’re upset about the free food?”

Obi-Wan is upset at the lack of Anakin’s presence, but he thinks that’s probably not the right thing to say here.

“Maybe he’s just tired?” Quinlan puts down his pen and rests his chin on one of his hands as he looks at Obi-Wan. “From the kids and the job and putting up with your moody ass. C’mon, Obi, what’s really getting you worked up?”

Obi-Wan purses his lips and stares at the desk in front of him, but he had come to Quinlan for help. He should at least be honest about what’s eating at him, even though he knows how silly it will sound when given a voice. “...Satine always waited up for me,” he mutters. “Until she didn’t.”

Quinlan’s quiet for a worryingly large amount of seconds, before he reaches out to pat Obi-Wan gently on the arm. “Oh, Obi,” he says pityingly. “Repeat after me. You cannot make your new roommate your rebound from your thirty year marriage.”

Obi-Wan scoffs. That’s not the problem at all. “That’s not the problem at all,” he says, not defensively in the slightest. “I think I’m just worried about the children not having enough structure in their lives.”

“Right,” Quinlan says, not quite managing to hide the skepticism in his voice. “Then you should talk to him. For the sake of the children.”

Obi-Wan will absolutely not be doing that, but it’s a nice thought.)

The real turning point in Anakin and Obi-Wan’s relationship happens five months after the Skywalkers move in.

Anakin and Obi-Wan are in the living room. Anakin is trying to braid Leia’s hair while Obi-Wan tries to pretend he isn’t watching. From the kitchen, there’s a very, very loud crash and the sound of something shattering.

Both adults leap up from their seats immediately and run to the other room.

Luke is standing in the epi-center of disaster, little face scrunched up like he doesn’t know whether or not to cry. At the sight of his dad and Obi-Wan, he starts to wail, moving forward and reaching for Anakin.

Obi-Wan, who is wearing shoes inside the house (a point of contention between himself and Anakin), grabs Luke roughly and picks him up by the armpits before he can cut his feet on the glass. He hands him over to Anakin to soothe, stepping further into the kitchen to find the dustpan he keeps in one of the pantries.

It’s very obvious what broke, though Obi-Wan can’t for the life of him understand how Luke got ahold of Satine’s heavy cake stand. He can definitely understand how Luke dropped it, as the thing was ridiculously heavy.

It had been one of the only things left in the house that had been Satine’s. She’d left it, and Obi-Wan had been too bitter or petty to point it out to her. Yes, it had been her mother’s. No, keeping it had not made him feel any better. But it’s not like Satine ever baked anything anyway.

Good for Luke, actually, for doing what Obi-Wan never could bring himself to do.

He grabs the broom and dustpan and marches back to the pieces of shattered glass. Anakin has placed Luke on the counter, ostensibly to check to make sure his feet are fine if the boy would ever let go of his father’s neck. Leia is peering around at the mess on the floor.

When Obi-Wan comes back and starts sweeping everything away, she darts forward to pick up a rather sizeable chunk.

“Don’t touch that,” Obi-Wan says sharply, much harsher than he intended. Leia drops it instantly and scurries back to her father, eyes wide and sort of watery. Oh, fuck.

“Hey,” Anakin snaps immediately. “She’s just trying to help and Luke didn’t mean to break--whatever that is.”

Obi-Wan holds up his hand to cut Anakin off. “I’m not mad,” he promises all three of the Skywalkers. And he’s not even lying. He’s really not mad, hasn’t even thought to be mad at this last piece of proof of his relationship with Satine shattering on his kitchen floor. “I just don’t want either of you to cut yourself. Glass like this can be very dangerous and none of you are wearing shoes.”

“Promise?” Luke asks, untucking his red face from Anakin’s neck so he can peer up at Obi-Wan.

“I’m sorry I was a bit rough,” Obi-Wan apologizes, coming over and bending down a bit so he’s on the same level as Luke. “I was just worried about you. Promise.”

Luke sniffles but lets go of Anakin to throw himself at Obi-Wan, apologizing all the way.

“Hush,” Obi-Wan says as Leia scrambles up his leg, vying for his attention. With his hands full of children that aren’t his, he raises his head to look at Anakin who’s watching them with a very strange expression on his face. He tilts his head toward the broom and then down to the kids in his arms. “Come along,” he tells them both. “Leia, I’ll finish your braids if you’d like.”

“Braid my hair too!” Luke demands with a pull on Obi-Wan’s shirt.

Luke’s hair is floppy but awfully short. “I’m sure we can figure something out,” Obi-Wan says generously, leaving the kitchen.

“I suppose I’ll just clean this up then?” Anakin calls sarcastically behind them.

“Thank you, darling,” Obi-Wan responds.

There’s the sound of something else breaking, but it’s not Obi-Wan’s problem at the moment.

(A year later, Anakin mentions something over morning coffee about looking for a new apartment, now that he’s got everything straightened out. “We’ll get out of your hair,” he says, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I’ll look today since it’s my day off.”

Obi-Wan doesn’t want to examine why that idea makes something curl tightly in his stomach, making him feel vaguely nauseous, but it does. On his way out of the house, he unplugs the router, and then after a second of thought, takes it with him just in case.)

(Quinlan laughs his head off when Obi-Wan sheepishly puts the router down on the desk in front of him. “It’s a bad market right now,” Obi-Wan says defensively. “I’m just looking out for him.”

“Obi, I mean this in the best way possible, but there are at least four professors in the psych department that would probably love to do a case study on you.”)

(Two years after the Skywalkers move in, Obi-Wan is running late for a meeting with the head of his department. The man is stepping down, finally retiring, and Obi-Wan thinks that perhaps he’ll be tapped as the new head. It would mean dropping some of his classes, but it would be worth it.

“I made you a breakfast wrap,” Anakin greets him at the door, holding out a paper bag. “It’s got that salsa you like in it.”

The salsa Obi-Wan likes is the mild version of what Anakin and the kids eat, but Anakin treats it as if it’s from another planet entirely.

“Good luck!” he says with a sweet smile, also passing Obi-Wan a travel mug of what’s hopefully fully caffeinated tea. Obviously Obi-Wan needs it. He got perhaps two full hours of sleep last night, tossing and turning and thinking about this meeting and now he’s running late and his tie is crooked and none of his favorite sweater vests were clean.

“Thank you, dear one,” Obi-Wan mumbles, mind somewhere else. If traffic isn’t too bad, he could still be on time.

“Text me how it goes!” Anakin chirps, following Obi-Wan out the door to stand on the front porch with his arms crossed in an attempt to fight off the early winter chill.

“Yes, of course,” Obi-Wan replies, turning around to brush an absent-minded kiss to Anakin’s lips before hurrying to his car. It’s a twenty minute commute. If he gets his preferred parking spot and runs to the department building, he won’t be late at all.

Is that too much to hope for?

He starts the car and pulls out of the driveway, looking back in the rearview mirror to see Anakin standing frozen on the porch. That’s strange, usually the other man can’t stand being out in the cold.

Obi-Wan gets to the first stop-sign out of the neighborhood before he realizes what he’s done. It’s lucky that he’s already slowing down, because he slams on the brakes. Did he--

Did he kiss Anakin? Did he really kiss Anakin as if he does it all the time? As if they were in a relationship?

Oh shit.

Frantically, he pulls out his cellphone from his bag and checks to see if he has any new messages. He doesn’t.

Oh. Shit.

[sukirichi]

Like, what happens to Mia? How does Gojo end up picking us? Naoya? How about Naoya? 😭😭😭🙏🏼😔

Omggg if you’re not going to continue reckless, can you please please please tell us how it ends? 😭😭😭 I don’t think I can bear living not knowing how it ends 😭 please? 😔😢🙏🏼😭

okay well here’s how it was gonna go, pls keep in mind my storytelling in asks and in writing are diff so this might be explained crappily HAHAHAHA but basically in reckless...

gojo gets shot in the head by his abusive dad bcos he finally stood up against him, but that backfired. his father is really adamant on control, and gojo loses his memories at the same time y/n gave birth. she decided to keep the baby after deciding that she wants a family after all, but when gojo woke up with mixed and lost memories, he only remembers mia and everything after her accident was gone. gojo becomes distorted and even becomes harsh sometimes, especially when y/n said they had a baby and she was his friend, bcos gojo’s mindset was from way back to six years ago, where he had lots of issues with his family and mia’s that he was wary who to trust.

so,,, they didn’t want gojo to hurt y/n bcos he’s such in an emotional mess that he has no control of himself. eventually, y/n decides to stay away but the baby is adopted by gojo and mia, who gets married for the sake of business and gojo’s current situation. truthfully, mia doesn’t want to marry him bcos it would hurt y/n and she’s not that awful. mia and y/n become friends after realizing they’re pretty similar and actually find genuine friendship with one another. she doesn’t have a choice tho and gojo, mia, along with gojo’s mom who divorced her husband for his abuse move to the states where they raised y/n and gojo’s daughter, sayori, leaving y/n all alone in tokyo who then becomes vice president of kamo enterprises. basically, it shows the repeated history of y/n’s father choosing to hide her from her real parents, and she begins to understand why he did that bcos she also has not really met her own daughter. y/n knows mia and gojo could take care of sayori better than she could, especially with the fact that gojo’s memories are mixed and transfixed on the timeline of him dating mia, mia giving birth to sayori, then them getting married. y/n is not present at all in his memories. gojo thinks he was the one in a car accident, not mia.

sayori is about four years old when gojo decides to come back to tokyo. now that he’s disowned and his mother has also left, gojo becomes a successful model in the states. he comes home bcos he remembers geto and wants to start their own agency (gojo as a model, geto as the photographer.) mia is wary at first for fear gojo might remember everything. she’s not being selfish; the doctors warned that anything that could potentially trigger gojo’s memories that his subconscious has erased could be detrimental to him. mia tries to hold it off but gojo insists, so the gojo/yamazaki family go back and that’s where gojo meets y/n, who he first thought was geto’s new wife.

in the reckless fanart, geto’s photo is like this.

geto’s ring is silver - it’s his dead wife’s ring. the hand caressing him is gold - it’s y/n wearing the ring of gojo’s mother, who by then has already apologized before they all left.

geto and y/n become best friends on the course of four years. missing her daughter, y/n becomes attached to mei (geto’s daughter) and acts more like a mom than an aunt. geto basks in this faux family they’ve built, though he makes sure mei is not too dependent or expecting that y/n would be her mom. he falls in love with y/n and he notices how after gojo left, she becomes softer and a lot sweeter. all the anger and hatred disappeared, all thanks to y/n finding peace with her new life and making up with her mother, Valeria, who once overdosed on drugs after it was exposed to the public that Y/N is a child she abandoned. y/n saved Valeria by rushing her to the hospital, which is also the same time that Y/N saw gojo being wheeled in the emergency room with a bullet in his head.

now that gojo is back, he can’t help but notice that y/n is avoiding him. she feels familiar but he plays it off over her being a close friend and possible lover of geto. meanwhile, y/n’s dedication to pretending he doesn’t exist breaks slowly when she sees sayori, a beautiful little girl who’s growing up, call mia as her “mommy.” it hurts her that she missed her first words, first steps, or that she’s being excluded in the family that is truly hers, but everyone is happy and doing great that she chooses to be the only who isn’t for the sake of everyone else.

in ch2, gojo goes to a carnival/amusement park and takes a polaroid photo with y/n. he finds them in one of the stuff he left behind in the penthouse he used to live in; shocked bcos y/n had been adamant they never met before. that’s when he begins to confront her on who she really is what they really used to be. he feels guilty that he can’t remember, but most of all, gojo is torn inside that y/n had been all alone the whole time when he promised he would be there.

its complicated for them since gojo x mia are already married, and sayori got her mom’s stubborness so its difficult for her to believe someone she never met before is her real mom and mia is...well, mia. mia actually helps sayori accept that she is not the real mom, apologizing to the child for lying to them and it ends up with sayori running away and getting lost for a few hours. sayori is scared since tokyo is alien to her and she doesn’t speak japanese, but when y/n finds her, she comes running to her arms and that is when she begins to soften up around her real mom.

this is where the slowburn with gojo and y/n begins. for them, getting to know each other once more on a clean slate is both refreshing yet scary, especially since one has erased the past in their mind and the other is desperately trying to forget it. the thing about the mia x gojo as a married couple and parents is that gojo deep down feels he does not love mia that way. he can’t explain why there’s just something missing or confusing in his life. he loves mia out of respect and friendship, but he would never admit that he is not in love with his wife. however, he plays it over the fact that its “just the broken memories” and lies to himself that he is very much in love with her. when he meets y/n again, however, it makes sense. he does love y/n and him forgetting her was a defense mechanism of his system to erase the most painful times of his life, and that included his guilt for hurting y/n with the abuse of his parents who controlled the way he acted around her. as for mia, she also does not love gojo and she probably never did, but for the sake of his well being and for sayori’s future (which was entrusted to her by y/n) she stayed with him. now though, mia knows its time to let go.

geto...it is not easy for geto. he loves y/n so much because of her tenacity and kindness, but he also loves her enough to know she is happier with someone else. to him, he’s content knowing that she felt less lonely when he was around and that he helped make her smile. in the end, geto has closure with y/n who apologizes for not returning his feelings.

NAOYAAAAA though...ofc i gave him a good ending 💕 after he was brutally rejected by Mia, y/n cheers him up by setting Naoya up with a law professor around his age, who is Ayame. Ayame is supposed to be named Suki tbh 😋 but I thought the self insert is a little too much so I changed it to Ayame. Ayame is pretty funny and even respects that Naoya is uncomfortable on the first date, telling him that it doesn’t have to be that kind of date and she doesn’t expect anything from him. Ayame’s bubbly yet blunt nature is a breath of fresh air from Mia’s secretive and perfectionist nature and the two become good friends. Naoya and Ayame end up hanging out a lot bcos “thats what friends do” but it doesn’t take long before they go out together. And ofc, Naoya is a little ashamed that Ayame was the first to confess and she beat him to it, but they get married and are happy nonetheless 💕 Mia ends up as a successful doctor who helps her family with the business, divorces Gojo, but she still has no plans to marry and is perfectly happy and content to focus on her career.

Eventually, Gojo and Y/N get married once everything is sorted out. Gojo becomes a well known model in Tokyo as well, and Gojo Group is absorbed by Y/N herself after proving Gojo’s father guilty of attempted murder. Gojo doesn’t want anything more to do with the corporate world though, but Y/N stays and kicks ass as a vice president to all the merged companies.

Y/N and Valeria also makes up after Valeria is indebted to Y/N who saved her life, and Valeria’s parents become more supportive and start to see Valeria more as a person than a child to inherit the business. Albeit being in her 40s, Valeria enjoys the youth she lost only now, but also enjoys being the grandmother to Sayori. Its a little awkward between Valeria and Y/N after everything that happened, but they’re trying and are even dubbed as the iconic motherly duo who is unbeatable in their games.

Gojo’s father is thrown into prison, and his main victim, his own wife, also shows recovery from the years of abuse. Although her obsessive control with Gojo and his sister (the eldest Gojo child) was not right, his mom was left with no choice but to keep them on close watch and control their lives because she was trying to keep them safe from their father’s wrath. In the end, Gojo’s mom makes up by being a better mother, and Gojo and his sister forgives her while also apologizing that both of them left home when they knew their mom always shouldered the abuse to protect her kids.

Overall, its a happy ending for most of the characters! the last chapter is Sayori’s wedding to Naoya and Ayame’s son, Naori, who is a few years younger than his bride. Gojo is grumbling to Y/N about how his little girl is all grown up now, and that their son, Shinichiro, who is 18 in that timeline is also maturing and would be leaving the nest soon. Y/N thinks its adorable and asks Gojo to just enjoy the union because its only one of the many great memories they would still have to make.

That’s how it would end! Gojo Best Dad and Gojo DILF. Everyone is happy!

Basically the theme of Reckless is that sometimes the most unexpected things we do out of character can end up as one of the greatest things to ever happen, which in their case was the suprise baby. They went through a lot and it has a lot of psychological themes, along with heavy family drama, but overall I wanted the series to be a heartwarming one by the end. I really would’ve loved to see it all happen but I am also happy to share it to you guys in this way.

So yeah, happy reading and thanks so much for supporting Reckless !! I was also thinking of doing maybe like a bonus chapter where the characters pretend it was all a movie and they’re actors that you can talk to, but that didn’t happen so :// anyways I hope you enjoyed this and thank you for reading up until here 💕

[antebunny]

Parent Trap AU Part 2

...with a side of on-the-run hacker!wwx AU and celebrity!lwj AU. Full series here).

“It’s not going to work,” Wei Sizhui says when they corner him after breakfast the following morning.

The three boys fold their arms and block the path, as if Wei Sizhui can’t just walk around them on the grass.

“Why not?!” Ouyang Zizhen wails.

“You don’t understand,” Lan Jingyi wheedles. “This is the most interesting thing that’s ever happened to me. Yeah my uncle is a celebrity, but he’s so boring.”

Jin Rulan huffs. “Why do we even need his help? We can just find him on the last day of camp!”

Wei Sizhui pinches the bridge of his nose with two fingers. He can feel a headache coming on. “Guys. No. They really cannot meet,” he says.

“But why not?” Ouzang Zizhen says again.

“Because,” Wei Sizhui says patiently, “my dad is wanted for kidnapping. Kidnapping me. From my other dad.”

All three of them just stare at him.

“So if your uncle met my dad while I’m there…” Wei Sizhui shakes his head. “That’s really just bad.”

Lan Jingyi plonks himself down on the paved path right there. “Okay, wait, wait,” he says. “Explain this to us again.”

“We have class in twenty minutes,” Jin Rulan complains, but he sits down too.

“Yeah!” Ouyang Zizhen hurries to scoot in between them. “Tell us the story, Sizhui.”

“I told you yesterday,” Wei Sizhui protests, but when none of them so much as blink, he sighs and sits down as well. “My dad was in prison,” he begins, and they all nod along. “Someone hired by the Jins attacked him in prison and he realized that he wasn’t safe, and I wasn’t safe.” They’re still nodding along, so Wei Sizhui continues. “So he broke out of prison,” he finishes, “and took me from my other dad’s house, and we’ve been on the run ever since.”

They stop nodding.

“But that doesn’t make any sense,” Jin Rulan says plainly. “Why didn’t he go to my mom? Or my uncle?”

“Or Jingyi’s uncle?” Ouyang Zizhen puts in. “Why didn’t he go to Jingyi’s uncle?”

Wei Sizhui shrugs helplessly. It seems rather straightforward to him. He doesn’t understand what they’re confused about. “Why would he? That makes no sense.”

“And why wouldn’t Lan Jingyi’s uncle be a target if you were?” Jin Rulan demands. “They were married! That doesn’t make any sense!”

Once again, Wei Sizhui can only shrug in the face of their questions. “Maybe he thought nobody would expect him to care about an ex who abandoned him.”

“My uncle would never,” Lan Jingyi says, face red. “You take that back! That’s–not what happened!”

Wei Sizhui is indeed taken aback by Lan Jingyi’s insistence. His dad doesn’t talk much about his ex-husband, it’s true. Well, his dad really doesn’t ever talk about Wei Sizhui’s other dad, but Wei Sizhui knows that even after they divorced, his dad still carries their wedding photo around every country they go to, so he supposes he just assumed.

“Yeah, why would Lan Wangji keep a photo of your dad in his wallet if he doesn’t care?” Ouyang Zizhen challenges.

Wei Sizhui rubs his eyes with the heels of his hands. It’s too early in the morning for this. He just wants to go to class and stop thinking about his dad’s former love life. “Can we please just go to class?” He begs.

“No!” Jin Rulan refuses. “Until you explain why we can’t get them to meet!”

“Even if everything does go well, my dad is still wanted for forgery and hacking in half a dozen countries,” Wei Sizhui argues. “What would them meeting do other than make them both sad? And even if Lan Wangji didn’t divorce my dad, he can’t be happy that my dad just ran off with me. It’s been nine years! They’re probably both over each other.”

Wei Sizhui has precious few memories of his other dad, and he’s never quite worked up the courage to ask for more from his dad. Lan Wangji is a tall, sturdy giant in his memories. He recalls large, warm, gentle hands, a deep voice that sung him lullabies, and a steady presence that watched him stick his tiny toddler hands through the bars to pet their two pet bunny rabbits.

But the most vivid memory Wei Sizhui has of his other dad is his warm, steady presence carefully lifting Wei Sizhui away from the glass and blocking his view of his dad. His large, warm hand came down to pat Wei Sizhui’s head, but he was talking to Wei Wuxian.

“I am sorry,” he said. “You cannot see Sizhui anymore.”

“Whose decision was this.” Dad’s voice was distorted through the glass, but even then, Wei Sizhui knew he’d never heard his dad so angry before.

Wei Sizhui clutched his dad’s leg. Pat pat, went the hand.

“I am sorry,” his dad repeated.

“Whose decision, Lan Wangji.”

“...Mine.”

Afterwards, after the yelling was over and Wei Sizhui went home with Lan Wangji, he remembers gripping his dad’s hand with all the strength in his chubby little fingers, like he might disappear at any moment, and asking; “When are we gonna see Papa again?”

Wei Sizhui was too small to see his dad’s face at that moment. Too young to remember whether it was sidewalk or carpet he walked on, what shoes he wore or what the name of the city he lived in was. What he remembered was the way his dad squeezed back, even tighter, and said never.

Wei Sizhui remembers never once considering that his dad could be lying. Not even when he woke up months later, in the middle of the night, to find his dad back and in the middle of a very intense game of hide-and-seek.

It’s been nine long years since then, and Wei Sizhui doesn’t think he wants to see his other dad again.

If only his friends could be convinced of the same.

“That…sounds like a whole lot of excuses,” Jin Rulan says, rubbing his eyes as well.

“He’s not guilty of any actual crimes, just cool crimes,” Lan Jingyi asserts. Wei Sizhui wants to scream.

“Your dad doesn’t have to be alone anymore!” Ouyang Zizhen says enthusiastically.

“Hey,” Lan Jingyi says. “Don’t be mean, he has Sizhui.”

Wei Sizhui instantly forgives him for everything. Still, he thinks his dad could be perfectly happy without Lan Wangji. Maybe without the Jins after him, and the FBI, but the idea still stands.

“Guys,” Wei Sizhui intervenes, trying to stave off the coming argument, “it doesn’t even matter, because my dad’s not gonna be here on the last day of camp.”

“What? Why not?” Jin Rulan squawks.

“He’s picking me up two days early,” Wei Sizhui explains. “So that he’s not seen by any of the other parents.”

Summer camps care far less about identification than they do about money, which is a bit of a problem because it’s far easier for Wei Sizhui’s dad to forge identities for them than to open a bank account. If there’s one time that someone actually manages to track down his dad, it’ll be through the money he’s spending on Wei Sizhui’s summer camp. So just in case, they’re disappearing two days early.

The plan is for his dad to break into the camp two nights before the end of camp. Wei Sizhui’s been keeping him updated on the best ways to do so.

The three of them are staring at him again.

“The campus security is pretty terrible,” Wei Sizhui adds thoughtfully.

“So…you’re just going to disappear?” Jin Rulan asks blankly. “When were you going to tell us?”

“Tell you?” Wei Sizhui asks, equally blank. “Why would I–that ruins the whole point of sneaking out two days early! We have to ditch everything. Phones, the fake bank account, the passports, everything.”

“But then how would we keep in touch?” Lan Jingyi asks plainly. “How would we text?”

“We wouldn’t?” Wei Sizhui says uncertainly. “We wouldn’t stay in the country after disappearing from a summer camp. I mean, I don’t know where we’re gonna go, but–somewhere. Probably Thailand,” he adds pensively.

There’s complete silence for one stunning moment.

“Wow,” Jin Rulan says flatly. “Is this is how Jingyi’s uncle felt when Sizhui’s dad disappeared?”

“Probably,” Ouyang Zizhen says.

“No, no, we can work with this,” Lan Jingyi declares. “We just need to get my uncle here two days before camp ends.”

“And how are we doing that?” Jin Rulan asks.

“Easy,” Lan Jingyi says cheerfully. “I do something that gets my uncle called down here.”

“So, expelled,” Ouyang Zizhen says, nodding along.

“Wait, what?” Wei Sizhui says, baffled, but nobody’s listening.

“Exactly,” Lan Jingyi says, beaming. “My uncle will forgive me once he learns why I did it!”

“But what is he getting expelled for?” Jin Rulan asks curiously.

Lan Jingyi grins, and a shiver runs down Wei Sizhui’s spine despite the heat of the morning summer sun shining behind him. It's a smile that says there's little he won't do to see Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji reunite. At least Jin Rulan and Ouyang Zizhen also look a little apprehensive.

“Hacking."

[teamfreewill56-blog]

Love Unconditional

Thank you to justheretoaskandread for my first request! I hope you enjoy it!

Kyojuro RengokuxReader, SFW, Angst

The air hissed as his brilliant red blade cut through it in an overarching sweep, he moved straight into another strike. Kyojuro’s eyebrows knitted together in focus.

“I can’t do this anymore, Kyojuro.”

He changed his footing and moved into Rising Scorching Sun, no matter how he moved or pushed his thoughts he couldn’t remove the ugly, sickly burning sensation coiling in his stomach.

She was being unfair.

“I’m being unfair?! What’s unfair is that I’m supposed to be emotionally safe and open with you but you can’t be with me!”

Nothing could be done about those feelings, they didn’t help anything, why couldn’t she understand that? He moved faster, urging the rage to flow through his arms and out of his fingertips. It stayed trapped in his chest.

She placed the engagement ring with a ruby and diamond intertwined in a flame on the countertop, directly atop the gold wedding ring it had been carefully crafted to nestle against.

“If I’m going to only be allowed to see the same face that you show everyone else, then being your wife is a bit of a lie isn’t it? Because clearly I’m no different than anyone else for you.”

The rings were nestled in his breast pocket, every sweep of his arm allowed him to feel their presence weighing against his heart. He just didn’t want her pity, he didn’t need it, he was strong, and he could bear anything if he focused on the right things. Why was she wanting him to focus on negative feelings? That never accomplished anything! Why was she upset that he only wanted to show her his best self?

“Kyojuro?”

The Flame Hashira stopped, mid strike, his sword above his head, he lowered the katana, turning to the porch and swiftly bowed, lying his bare katana next to him. “Forgive me Master, I didn’t mean to disturb you!” He had been so deep in his head he hadn’t noticed the door open or sensed the Corp leader approach.

He smiled, “Not at all, but I thought you had gone home for the evening?”

“Yes! But I thought I might come back and train with some of my fellow Pillars, it seems no one is here so I decided I might practice a while before heading home!”

“Yes I think the other children have all gone to their own residences.” Kagaya confirmed, he took a couple steps forward sat on the edge of the porch, Kyojuro watched him to make sure he didn’t stray too close to the edge, but he seemed to know where it was, he kneeled right before the edge, “Come sit with me my child.”

Kyojuro blinked and straightened, he sheathed his katana in a smooth motion and walked over to the porch, he sat beside Kagaya, allowing his feet to dangle over the sides.

“Why don’t you tell me what is bothering you?”

“Nothing master, I’m quite well! There is nothing to worry about!” Kyojuro answered confidently with a convincing smile, wishing it would work inwardly on his agitated heart.

Kagaya’s smile softened, “I see.” He stared at Kyojuro with his pale sightless eyes, the Flame Pillar felt himself starting to uncoil, similarly to how Y/N’s soft eyes would do. His throat tightened and he looked away. “Can I ask what you have there in your breast pocket? I could hear it clicking.”

Kyojuro’s smile fell, he reached into the pocket and pulled out the two rings, holding them carefully between his fingers, “They’re Y/N’s wedding and engagement rings. It seems she no longer wishes to have me as her husband. Perhaps it is for the best, we have been fighting a lot recently…Maybe we are not a good match.” He blinked hard, trying to fight back the warmth building in his eyes.

“Maybe, or maybe you are being pushed to grow closer together. What are you two fighting about?” Kagaya asked, before Kyojuro could question what he meant.

“She says that I am not open with her, but we communicate frequently! I find myself getting frustrated with her when she asks if something is wrong, because nothing is, and I don’t understand why she wants there to be something wrong! I don’t understand why she wants to pity me.”

“But when you do feel the pains of frustration or sadness, do you tell her?”

Kyojuro paused, looking out across the yard, “I don’t.”

“Hm.” Kagaya was silent for a moment and then asked, “Kyojuro, when I send you on a mission with one of the other children do you think it is because I believe you are pitiful?”

“No at all Master!”

“So why do you think I ask you to go together?”

“Because two of us can accomplish the task faster and more efficiently than one, especially if we are working in unison!”

Kagaya closed his eyes in a smile, “Exactly, and so you can protect each other, do you think Mitsuri is weak or pitiful when you assist her?”

“No.”

“So why do you help her?”

“Because I care about her, I want her to be safe and successful.”

“Do you not believe Y/N wants the same for you? We all have many burdens we must bear, but something beautiful about having a loved one is that they can help us bear our load, even if we don’t need the help, allowing them to help us gives them a chance to support and show their love for us. Our negative feelings are just as important as our happy ones, it is a wonderful trait of humanity and allows us to improve.” He touched Kyojuro’s arm, “I think Y/N just wants to be able to love all the sides that you have to offer, and to be a place of rest for you. The same way you do for her.”

Kyojuro looked down at his hand, “But Master those sides are…”

“Unbecoming, yes.” He nodded, “But have you not also seen her not so favorable sides?”

A small smile slipped upon his lips as he thought about a few choice times, “Yes.”

“And yet you love her all the same, don’t you?”

He closed his noon-sun colored eyes, “Yes.”

Kagaya smiled and they both looked up as Amane came up behind them with a wrapped package. She kneeled down, “Here Kyojuro, take these. I’m sure you haven’t eaten yet.”

“Thank you very much!” Kyojuro stood and gave her a bow. “Master, will you excuse me? I have a mission I haven’t yet seen to.”

“Of course my child. Give Y/N my regards.”

“I will!”

Sakura petals spun as they floated on the calmly flowing river, Y/N sat on the pier beneath it’s towering branches. She let her tears leave her to become part of the river. Dusk was settling in now, the air cooling down quickly, she didn’t feel it. Her throat felt raw and as much as she wished to let out her anger it wasn’t there, she had a practice sword beside her, but it laid there collecting petals. She didn’t want to leave Kyojuro, or for him to leave her, but she couldn’t keep leaving herself vulnerable to someone who wasn’t willing to be vulnerable back, it wasn’t fair and it was weighing her down. ‘I want to help him, I want to be with him but how am I supposed to do that if he doesn’t let me? Is there really nothing I can do?’ The tears ran faster at the thought that there might be nothing, that it really could just be done.

“Y/N?”

She lifted her head and turned, mentally cursing as more tears fell seeing him. Because she was so glad to see him and yet it was an immediate punch to her gut.

Kyojuro quickly started towards her, wanting to stop her tears before remembering himself and stopping, his face darkened with shame. He closed his eyes and gripped the knot of the cloth Amane had wrapped the plates in, he looked into her eyes and she saw pain just running in wild circles in his irises, “Can we talk?”

“Yeah.” She sniffed and faced the front. Kyojuro quickly walked over to her, sitting down beside her he set the package on his other side and faced her, gently cupping her cheek in his hand he wiped away the tears with his thumb. He was terrified she would push his hand away and was relieved when all she did was open her eyes. He softly rubbed her cheekbone and ran his thumb down the side of her cheek, “Is...is getting a divorce really what you want dearest?” She put her hand over his and opened her eyes. 

“No Kyojuro, I don’t. I love you very much and I want to be with you, but it hurts seeing you smiling and acting like something isn’t bothering you, like negative feelings aren’t allowed. Do you really expect me to believe that you don’t miss your mom? Or that it didn’t hurt when Shinjurou dismissed you becoming the Flame Hashira?”

He lowered his gaze, “To be honest, I don’t allow myself to think about those things. But when you say it hurts you to see me do that it makes me feel like you think I’m weak, that you think I should be pitied. So it upsets me when I tell you I’m fine but you keep pushing the matter.”

She shook her head, resting her other hand on his knee, “Kyojuro I don’t think you’re weak. I don’t think you’re pitiful either, and I’m sorry I made you feel that way. That’s not what I wanted, and I shouldn’t push you when you say you’re fine, that’s selfish.”

“I know you don’t. And it is partly my fault, if I just talked to you then you wouldn’t have to push me about the matter.” Kyojuro said softly, “I’m just not used to expressing my negative feelings, and I don’t like how I act when I feel them, I don’t feel like me.”

“They’re not you Kyojuro, they’re just parts of you, and they don’t cancel out the good parts.” She ran her fingers through his bangs, “And I won’t stop loving you just because you complain or something is bothering you.”

“Thank you dearest.” He caught her hand, turning it upward he pressed soft kisses to the middle of her wrist and the center of her palm, he looked up at her and put his forehead against hers. Kyojuro reached into his pocket and pulled out the rings, holding them up to her. “Y/N, will you do me the honor of being the amazing Mrs. Kyojuro Rengoku?”

She smiled and gave him a soft kiss, “I will.”

[girl-with-cat-eyes]

Divorce? Is that a kind of Cheese?

Summary: Sea monsters mate for life. They're not like people, they don't separate or get divorces. Mates are permanent. Except when they're not.

Or: Giulia and Alberto are both children of divorce. Luca is confused.

A/N: Here it is! The long-awaited Luca fic! I hope you all like it! Special thanks to @psadler1 for beta reading this! And now without further ado.

Luca bounced in his seat as the train carried him home from Genoa. He couldn’t wait to see his family and tell them all about what he’d learned while he was away. He couldn’t wait to see Alberto again. He smiled at the thought of seeing his friend.

Giulia smiled from where she sat next to him, “You’re really excited to get home, huh?”, He nodded shyly, “So am I. I love my mom but I miss my dad while I’m away.” Luca sat back down from where he’d been staring out the window. A question formed in the back of his mind, one that he’d wondered since he’d left Portorosso and met Angelina. He’d never dared to voice it until now, “Why don’t you’re parents live together?”

She looked away and, for a split second, Luca thought he saw her tearing up. He wanted to take back the question but, before he could, Giulia blinked away her tears and schooled her expression, “They used to. When I was really little we all lived in Portorosso together. But they fought a lot. And eventually, they sat me down and told me they were getting a divorce and I’d go to Genoa with Mama for school.”

Divorce? Luca wondered what that could be. It sounded like some kind of fancy cheese. Like the ones, Angelina would buy to make sandwiches with. Judging by her tone, however, Luca didn’t think it was like brie or mozzarella. He decided to test his luck once more, “What’s a divorce?” “It’s when two people who are married decide they don’t want to be married anymore. You probably have a different word for it.”

Again Luca was puzzled, “You can stop being married?”, he asked. From everything he’d heard up to this point, marriage seemed pretty permanent.

“Yeah. Don’t you have anything like that?” He shook his head, “No. Sea monsters mate for life.”, He’d known this since birth. Upon turning 16 they would declare mates and spend the next two years courting before sealing their relationship. And that was that. They spent their lives together. Your lifemate was your everything.

“What if they stop loving each other??”, He rubbed the back of his neck at the question, trying to think of an answer. In truth, Luca didn’t know what would happen then. The thought of not loving your lifemate enough to leave them was unthinkable. You just didn’t do that. It was permanent.

Then again, from what he’d been told, marriage was supposed to be permanent too. That didn’t stop Giulia’s parents from divorcing, “I don’t know. But I can ask my parents and tell you what they say?”

Giulia sighed, “It’s ok. You don’t have to.”, Luca nodded, but was secretly determined to find out.

The question didn’t come up right away, he was busy catching his parents and Alberto up on how his school year went. The reunion had been full of hugs, kisses, and tears. His mother and Massimo had worked together to make a feast of both human and seafood for the pair, with Alberto even chipping in to make some desserts. It was a fantastic night of dancing, singing, and eating. And at the end of it all, Daniela and Lorenzo agreed to let him spend the night with Alberto.

The taller sea monster had been all too eager to show him the changes made to his island. He wasn’t fully ready to stay with Massimo all of the time, so Massimo agreed to let him go back and forth between the two places. Of course, that didn’t mean that he wasn’t going to make sure that Alberto was safe and protected. So the pair had spent the fall working to make it more secure from the elements. Luca was impressed upon seeing the changes that had occurred while he was away. They’d spent the night catching up and playing games together. Luca had had a blast. So much so that the question of divorce was forgotten completely.

He didn’t think about divorce again until two weeks later. He was eating dinner with his family, listening to his mother catch him up on everything that had changed while he was away. It was just them tonight; most nights they ate with Giulia, Massimo, and Alberto, but they had a family dinner at least once a week.

Daniella was prepping dinner, sharing all the family news he missed while away at school, “And did I tell you that your cousin Camilla picked Donnie Branzino to be her lifemate? I love her I do, but Donnie Branzino? Out of everyone she could have picked, she picks Bianca Branzino’s boy? Now we have to deal with them at every family gathering from here on out.” Luca stilled in his seat at the mention of lifemates, the conversation he’d had with Giulia returning full force, “Mama?”, he asked, trying to be discreet.

Daniella turned and sat his plate in front of him, “No you cannot go have dinner with your friends. I worked all day making your favorites.”

Luca shook his head, “It’s not that. I have a question about lifemates.” She raised an eyebrow at him, “Lifemates? You have two years before you have to worry about lifemates. What do you want to know?”

He swallowed, gathering all of his confidence before speaking, “What happens if they don’t want to be lifemates anymore?”

“What do you mean?” He shrugged and tried to act casual, “Like if they stopped loving each other. Could they stop being lifemates?” “Sweetheart.”, she placed a hand on his shoulder, “You know we mate for life. Sea monsters don’t fall out of love or stop being mates. Did you hear something?”, Luca sighed and lowered his gaze to the food in front of him.

“Giulia told me about this human thing called divorced. It’s when two human mates stop loving each other and then stop being mates.” Daniella sighed, “That’s awful. But I can’t think of anything happening like around here. Have you Lorenzo?”, for once the other sea monster was paying attention and shook his head.

“Not that I’m aware of.”, Luca nodded in response. He supposed it really was as simple as he first thought. That was until his grandmother spoke up.

“I remember a pair of lifemates who split up.”, Luca looked over at her, hoping she’d elaborate.

“Go on?”, he encouraged with a smile.

“You were only a baby when it happened. Only 3 or 4. There was a couple who lived on the outskirts of town. They had a son around your age. My friend used to babysit for the wife, I can’t remember her name. Lucia? No, Liliana? It doesn’t matter. They argued all the time. Eventually, they split and went to two different pods. He took their son. And then they were both gone.” Luca swallowed at her story. “Oh.”, were the only words he could find himself able to say. The rest of the meal was silent.

“And sometimes human mates just leave each other?”, Alberto asked. They were gathering stones along the beach while they waited for Giulia to finish her deliveries. Luca had told him what she’d said in the meantime.

“Yeah. And I asked my family what happens if lifemates fall out of love and my grandma told me about this couple she used to know that just left. They went to two different pods like they were never together. I always thought lifemates were forever. It’s crazy, right?”

He over at Alberto, expecting him to agree. Instead, he was staring at the ground, a dark look on his face, “Berto?”

“My parents split.”, It came out as a whisper, almost too quiet to hear. Luca’s jaw dropped. He knew that Alberto’s dad had left him, the thought of a parent leaving him filled Luca with white-hot anger. But he’d never said anything about his mother. Luca had assumed that she’d died.

“Oh?”, Alberto sat down and Luca sat beside him, “What happened?” “They fought all the time. And then one night I heard my mama say she couldn’t deal with my papa anymore. And then she left. Only she didn’t take me with her. She...She forgot me. I don’t know why but she did. My father said she didn’t want me. That she didn’t want either of us.”, Tears slowly but surely began to drip down his face, Luca was regretting ever bringing it up.

He wrapped an arm around Alberto, pulling the other boy close, “I’m sorry she left you. She shouldn’t have done that.”, Alberto shook his head fiercely at his words.

“It’s my fault. She left because I’m such a bad kid.” “You’re not bad. You’re amazing. And anyone who says otherwise is a liar.”, Luca hugged the other boy tightly.

“My dad always said so.” “And he’s as much of a liar as Bruno then.”, the resolution in Luca’s voice was as clear as the sky on a sunny day, “You are amazing. And my best friend.” Alberto snorted, “Thanks.”, he whipped his eyes and sat up, “Sorry about crying on you.” “It’s fine.”, Luca rubbed his shoulders, “I’m sorry your parents put you through that.”, They sat like that for some time before Alberto spoke up.

“I wish I didn’t have to pick a lifemate.” Luca looked at him, “Why?”

“Because what if I end up like my parents? I have to trust that they understand me like you do.” Luca looked at Alberto in understanding, “I get how you feel. What if my lifemate doesn’t like me going to the surface? Or what if they don’t like me hanging out with you?”

Alberto sat up straighter, “Lifemates are stupid. Who needs them? We have each other.”, Luca nodded in agreement. Surely a lifemate couldn’t be as cool as being with his best friend, “It can be you, me, and Giulia exploring the world. No lifemates needed.”, The pair sat like that for only a moment longer before getting up and swimming back to town. One thing was clear for both of them; all they needed was each other.

A/N: As always, leave a comment if you liked it.

[jesusology]

Haruka theory and thoughts under the read more! just me going through the MV and voicing aloud some thoughts, let me know what you guys think too! 

（*´▽｀*）also this is super long i

opening scene! the necklace is obviously important to him. also it’s very cute. nothing to say abt this in particular but i just think it’s really cute

love the background choice and how the room looks in general. gives me a big liminal space vibe. i promise i’m getting to actual theorizing in a second here just

love how the scenery from the window changes when it switches back and forth between him and his younger self (?). i’ve tried searching what the symbolism is of a red sky (if there is any) and i did see that it could mean “the end” or it could be symbolic of danger and what’s to come.

ugh i love the water thing going on. first off, i’m a huge sucker for water imagery and the like and so you KNOW i go gaga for this. it has to be because haruka feels like he’s constantly drowning, like he’s suffocating on his emotions. 

i’ve watched this MV at least fifty times and this still gets me upset. pretty obvious that what’s going on here is some form of emotional abuse as well as a co-dependence on Haruka’s part. Haruka clearly has a learning disability and it’s nothing he can control but the people in his life are blaming him for it and so he blames himself, too.

evidence of emotional abuse, being told things like how he’s pitiful or not smart, etc and of course Haruka is going to believe that hence why he’s always calling himself dumb and feeling like when he’s around others he’ll only make them sad because that’s exactly how it was for him at home. 

also like how the background is all gray and gloomy and there’s his childish scribbling of a monster (?) hovering over. could be symbolic of a threat to what’s his normal life, like it could end so suddenly

the world around Haruka is changing. his parents are changing (i’m assuming they’re divorced but i don’t think that’s ever made explicitly clear), he’s growing up, but he also feels exactly the same maturity wise. he may be increasing in age but he still is exactly the same and the change is unnerving to Haruka and it’s become noticeable to his parents that he’s not “growing up” and doing “normal” things. his learning disability is holding him back from becoming what’s so normal for society, what’s accepted in society. 

so he’s viewed as “weak”, it’s his ‘weakness’. and society eats the weak. 

i feel like Haruka’s parents (perhaps namely his mom)(or maybe it was both his mom and his dad but Haruka’s thinking more about his mom because he was closer to her) were becoming fed up with Haruka’s inability to learn what is supposed to be ~oh so natural~ and ~normal~ so they quickly began to get frustrated. also, that drawing behind Haruka appears later i think....

Haruka realizes and recognizes what’s going on and this, in turn, makes him have feelings of self-loathing. why can’t he do what anyone else can? why is everything around him so different but he’s the same? why is he getting taller, having more expectation placed upon him when it’s just too hard for him? Haruka is grappling with these thoughts constantly and it’s making him feel like he’s drowning and no one cares to pull him up out of the water.

i’m gonna be honest, i have no clue what to make of the girl with him at the fireworks but i DO know that the fireworks are really important to him because i recall him answering that it was his cherished memory and he goes on to say the most expensive thing he’s bought was cotton candy and i’ll venture to say that it was at this fireworks festival. 

i got nothing to add to this but i just love that line and it is important for you all to know this

are those yellow roses or marigolds? i’m thinking maybe they’re yellow roses which can mean either “jealousy” or “thinking of you” 

i could be going off a wrong assumption here, but hey this is all just guess-work anyway... did he accidentally push the girl? and it somehow led to her death or at the very least a severe injury? i’m willing to bet it was more of an injury than death, but even so. 

and if he DID push her, now it’s coming to light? like he did that, it was his fault (even if it was an accident, he would no doubt blame himself), and he’s a bad person who is only good for causing harm to others.

as someone who also sleeps with like five stuffed bunny animals, solidarity between me and Haruka. i want that rabbit it looks so cute

YAA there it is again! i don’t know what the heck it means but there it is!

the dog gives me pause because i’m not entirely sure what to make of it but i DO think this is where it’s important to remind people that the MV’s are based upon the prisoner’s own perception (i think. if i’m wrong, please correct me) and so we’re getting a lot of this from a biased standpoint. 

again, emotional abuse that might seem “”””Harmless””””” to others but it’s anything EXCEPT. 

did the dog run away? was he given the dog and Haruka now blames himself for letting the dog run off and perhaps the dog got hit by a car? (;﹏;) i feel like something that’s important is just how much self-hatred Haruka has and his tendency to blame himself for outside factors. i don’t think he LITERALLY killed the dog, but he feels as though he did so it’s become figurative. 

also as far as his dislikes being “children” and “animals”, i think he’s jealous of them, maybe? like that could tie into the yellow roses and their symbolism signifying jealousy and envy. he’s jealous of the inherent “innocence” associated with them. he’s getting older, so that “innocence” that’s accepted with THEM is no longer being used with HIM. Haruka has what’s deemed as “childish” interests and i get the feeling he’s made to feel badly about it. no doubt his disability is tied in with this.

there’s those flowers again. and Haruka tries to drown his wants/needs in order to try and “repent” for being the way he is. it’s HIS fault, so he has to think everything is fine even though he’s NOT fine and he’s going to break at some point under the pressure of society/his parents/everything. 

Haruka makes an effort to try to understand things in the beginning, but everytime he questions something that’s really ~obvious~ to everyone else he’s met with disappointed gazes and harsh critiques. so he stops trying to understand what he’s apparently ~lacking~ and he stops asking questions because that’s it! he’s dumb! he doesn’t get it so why bother!

i feel like by this point any praise to Haruka is better than nothing. rather than indifference or being ignored, he’d even rather be called “crazy”. i think Haruka just wants ANY attention be it good or bad - what he hates the most is feeling invisible or as if he could disappear and it wouldn’t matter to anyone.

i still feel like the blood on his hands is more figurative than literal and for reasons i’ve already explained so there’s no need to rehash it like i’m trying to meet an essay word count requirement

me too Haruka （；へ：）

his feelings of sadness and being unwanted turn to anger onto HIMSELF and it is what snaps the very thin thread he’s been living on 

choking himself ties into the water motif we’ve got going on here. the drowning, the suffocation - no longer being able to breathe because everything is broken and it’s unfixable. and he’s the reason why.

i feel like his crime is somehow suicide/attempted suicide but if it IS suicide then i really don’t know how he could be with the other prisoners? unless they’re all dead and this is some form of purgatory or something but otherwise? i don’t know. i just feel like it could be suicide

now i will also say this. the puddle of blue surrounding “him” has to be blood and that kind of makes me wonder if i’ve been barking up the wrong tree here but. idk any ideas anyone else has on this would be appreciated and also please talk to me about MILGRAM because i’ve got a badddd obsession 

what Haruka wants more than anything is attention and love. he wants love and yet it’s difficult for him to accept love because he doesn’t seem to have any “experience” with love. in the questions asked to him, he doesn’t even seem to really know what “love” actually is. he considers “liking�� and “loving” to be the same thing, there’s no difference to him. if he’s getting attention it might not even matter to him because at this point something is better than nothing. 

so yes! this is messy. and it’s perhaps even incoherent. if you read this thanks for coming to my TED talk i love Haruka so much. it’s probably become obvious that i’m a little biased bc i relate to him a lot. let me know your own theories too or thoughts on this, i’d like to know hehe （*´▽｀*）

[peppermintbee]

OMORI has poor writing (Part 1)

OMORI stans, just block the #omori hate tag now because I’m going to use it to vent my frustrations with this game. If you love this game, I am not going to try to convince you otherwise. I am glad you enjoyed it so much. I am glad it means a lot to you. I’m not here to take that away from you. I honestly wish I felt the same way!

However, if you are like me and finished the game feeling disappointed, underwhelmed, and maybe a little frustrated, then I am here to say you are not alone. OMORI--while having the right set pieces for an interesting game--is a narrative mess.

I’m splitting this into two posts. This first post is about problems with the plot. The second is about problems with the message/moral. 

(Note: I use “OMORI” in all-caps for the game title, and “Omori” in title case for the character name.)

Spoilers and criticism below.

Part 1: Plot Writing Lies

There’s a book by Brian McDonald called Invisible Ink which is about how to write a compelling story (you can read this great book online for free here). There’s an explanation of the writing “lie” that I find myself frequently thinking of. A “lie” in this context does not mean something is literally untrue, it means something FEELS untrue, unrealistic, improbable, or unlikely. For example, if a character gets shot in the leg but manages to do parkour, this is a “lie” since it seems unrealistic for that to happen. If a character witnesses their beloved parent’s death and shrugs it off, it’s a “lie” because that reaction seems highly unlikely.

In OMORI, the plot is held together by multiple little lies that--try as I might--I just couldn’t bring myself to believe.

1. Sunny’s friends care about him, and vice versa

A major theme of the game is how friendship can overcome any obstacle. Friendship gets Sunny over his fear of heights, spiders, and water. Friendship is what Sunny remembers before the final boss fight, and allows him to face his guilt and defeat it (and prevent him from committing suicide). With the photobook and dialogue you are reminded over and over and over and over and over again that Sunny’s friends love him unconditionally.

However, I just couldn’t bring myself to believe it. The childhood memories are cute but shallow, boiling down to simply hanging out and eating treats. Plus, Kel and Aubrey fight constantly, with Aubrey even physically hitting Kel when he steps out of line. Hero and Mari behave more like babysitters than true friends to the younger kids. 

But at least the other kids interact with each other. Sunny, on the other hand, showed nearly no affection or consideration towards his friends. He floats through the memories like a ghost--he could have been completely absent from all the photos and it would have made little difference. I was ready to accept this as Sunny being an unreliable narrator and not thinking he was a good enough for his friends, but this never contradicted. Instead we are given even more memories where Sunny just silently exists there being “cute.”

[Sunny enriching the lives of his friends by LARPING as a cat.]

Because of the lack of meaningful interactions between them, there was nothing in the game that made me think that these 12-15 year olds would have a strong enough bond that would survive 3-4 years of no contact after finding their friend hanged. In fact, that discovery only drove them farther apart. The only person who I could believe actually had a close bond was Basil, who almost literally filled that trope of being the friend who would help you bury a body (or in this case, help Sunny cover up the accidental manslaughter).

The writing fix for this would be simple: instead of showing us the same boring birthday and beach scenes over again, give the kids memories of overcoming some age-appropriate adversity together: heartbreak over an unrequited crush, anxiety over homework, sports injury, lost dogs, divorced parents, running away from home, bullying, etc. Set a precedent of the friends supporting each other through good times AND bad times. Without such backstory, Sunny’s friendships allegedly giving him the courage to overcome his guilt feels like a lie.

2. Sunny abandoning Basil in the bathroom scene

One of the most confusing moments in the game was Sunny’s negligence when Basil has his first breakdown in his bathroom. This part of the game is player-controlled, which is a strange writing decision because all you can do is click on Basil and various bathroom amenities over and over which completely saps the urgency out of the scene. When you try to leave, Basil begs Sunny to stay, but (due to a lack of player options) Sunny walks out without a word. With no option to talk to him OR get help for him, it makes Sunny seem exceptionally cruel to Basil. In fact, I was starting to wonder if the game was setting up for some sort of twist that Sunny DIDN’T care about his friends, which would fix some of the confusion in point #1. However, as we know, that is not the case. Therefore, Sunny’s negligence/apathy towards Basil’s pain feels like a lie.

The writing fix would be to make it MORE clear that Sunny is intentionally running away from Basil. Make it a cutscene, or, give a false choice such as “Leave Basil? Yes / Yes”. After Sunny leaves, Kel should make some remark about Sunny looking odd, “You look sort of shaken up, is there something you want to tell me?” then hit it home with Sunny shaking his head. This would make it more clear that Sunny is intentionally hiding Basil’s state, as opposed to just being a bad friend. As it stands, it just felt like a writing mistake.

3. Basil and Sunny working together to stage Mari’s death as a suicide

This is the plot hole that I see the most complaints over, but it’s so big I have to address it. Accidentally pushing Mari down the stairs I understand, but the rest is too absurd. Below are some of the “lies” that the writing tries to get away with:

That Sunny and Basil wouldn’t just claim she slipped and fell.

That either boy would even come up with this sick plan.

That they wouldn’t back out of this idea during the multi-step process (carrying her downstairs, outside, getting the jump rope, tying a noose, putting it around her neck, stringing her up, hiding the evidence... This is a series of multiple decisions, not one quick accident like the initial push.)

That it’s not the image of Mari’s death that traumatized Sunny, but the image of what they chose to do to her body that traumatized them. I understand the image of Mari hanging is more dramatic, but they literally did it themselves so why is that more haunting than Sunny killing her?

That Mari’s true cause of death wouldn’t be immediately obvious to the parents, the police, the friends, EVERYONE. (I’ve seen fans try to get rid of this plot hole by hypothesizing that the parents knew and covered it up, but the evidence of this is circumstantial at best. The father saying, “You’re not my son,” is unreliable since it happens in Sunny’s headspace. Divorce is common after the death of a child, and, at the very least, Sunny’s mom doesn’t show any evidence of knowing what happened. The way it is written, only Sunny and Basil know the truth.)

The ridiculousness of this twist is so extreme that it completely broke any immersion I had left. Frankly, the reveal that the happy, loveable Mari committed suicide is a far heavier and more realistic twist than a crazy murder-cover-up story is.

Additionally, it seems like Basil was only written into this scene in order to make Sunny the true victim of what happened. After all, Sunny may have pushed her, but it was Basil who came up with the demented cover up. (This is apparent from just the photos but the datamined Truth Album confirms it.) By having Basil come up with the plan, the game splits the guilt between the two of them to make the kids easier to sympathize with. It’s problematic because if Basil was not in the scene, there would be no way to justify what Sunny did to Mari. So why is what they did easier to accept when they worked together?

Fixing the writing lie: Sunny lies and says that Mari slipped. Remove Basil from the scene, and instead have Sunny confide in Basil which forces Basil to become a co-conspirator and burdens him with the terrible truth.

4. Sunny’s friends forgiving him and Basil for what they did to Mari

Last but not least, the story heavily implies that Hero, Kel, and Aubrey will forgive Basil and Sunny for what they did to Mari. I found this to be almost as unbelievable as the staged-suicide stunt.

It feels like a lie since the group’s friendship is never established as anything beyond shallow hang outs from 3+ years ago (see point #1).

It feels like a lie because this is hot off the heels of Aubrey being so distraught over Mari and the following fall out that in the last three days she 1.) attacked Sunny and Kel with a nail bat TWICE, 2.) Stole Basil’s photobook, and 3.) Shoved Basil in the lake. This trauma is still very fresh for her.

It feels like a lie because the complexity of the staged-suicide is so extreme, one would be hard pressed to forgive ANYONE for doing that, be it friend, foe, parent, sibling, lover, etc.

I’ve seen fans argue that the ending is not about forgiveness, it’s about telling the truth, and I want to believe that. Really. If the ending was about Sunny starting his redemption arc by telling the truth no matter what the consequences are, that would be a meaningful lesson. But the writing does not support that. The ending headspace segments are focused on assuring Sunny that his friends will support/forgive him no matter what. To do this, the game shows us the shallow photobook memories (again) to show how much they allegedly care about each other. Then, when fighting Omori, Sunny remembers these quotes from his friends, which directly correlate to their unconditional support:

KEL: Friends... Friends are supposed to be there for each other.

AUBREY: I hope you can find some peace... or you know... some happiness.

HERO: We made the mistake of leaving each other when we needed each other the most. This time... we’ll stay together.

BASIL: Maybe one day... things can go back to the way they were before.

The really direct evidence that this ending is about getting forgiveness is this quote from Basil in Sunny’s headspace:

[BASIL: “AUBREY, KEL and HERO are good friends. You have to trust that they’ll forgive us.”]

This is one of the last scenes before Sunny tells his friends the truth, proving that obtaining forgiveness from his FRIENDS is in fact the leading motivation for Sunny’s actions.

Fixing this writing lie is easy. Instead, adjust the writing to be about telling the truth, not about how much the friends will still love Sunny. Have headspace Basil say, “Even if they don’t forgive us, Aubrey, Kel, and Hero deserve to know the truth. It’s the only way to make things right... or close to it.”

Conclusion

OMORI is undeniably a cute game with a strong visual identity, and has a premise that could make for a very compelling experience. However, the sloppy plot and weak character writing cause the potential of this game to be squandered. There are other issues as well that I chose not to cover for the sake of time, such as the poor pacing of the dragged out dungeons and the bizarre, unrealistic behavior of characters in the “real” world. 

However, there are a few more glaring problems with OMORI that I have to address: In part 2 of my critique, I break down what may be the biggest problem with OMORI’s writing: the message.

[ Link to Part 2: OMORI’s Message is Mishandled and Distasteful ]

[nishisun]

suna rintaro is NOT a genius.

summary: you loved the idea of soulmates. suna rintaro didn’t. it isn’t that hard to put two and two together to realize that maybe people with different opinions on things don’t belong together.

part 2

a/n: this was literally supposed to be a series, i gave up on it because i just didn’t like the way it turned out. it used to be called “out of my league” and this was the intro. i also renamed it. just emptying drafts!! please don’t get confused with the random timeskip, once again, this was a part of a series i never ended up posting😭

WARNING!!: suggestive themes, mentions of death, idk kinda angsty but tell me if i missed anything

Soulmates. Whatever the hell that means. The idea of soulmates is something I truly don’t understand. It’s bullshit, honestly. It’s all-pervasive.

My mother always told me I'd eventually find "the one.” I used to believe that when I was younger of course. But in my opinion? It’s all cliches. It's unhelpful, and it's certainly not true. Destiny is an excuse for the weak. Why do you think most marriages end in divorce? It's 'cause people who believe they are “destined to be" assume everything will fall into place without any effort. I don't appreciate people pontificating bullshit like that just to make me feel better, especially if they haven't found their "soulmate" themselves. My sister once told me, “People who believe in soulmates are more likely to break up and encounter more difficulty in their relationship, which will lead them to give up on one another eventually.”

I sure do believe that.

My mother is a prime example. Fumeiko Suna, my dear mother. Well, she clearly hasn’t found hers. I found out when I came home after a tedious day of school in 5th grade and found my dear mother on the floor crying, with bruises all over her face and a busted lip.

Initially, I thought a burglar had broken into our home once again, but if that were the case then there would’ve been missing furniture. But there wasn’t.

In fact, the place seemed cleaner than usual. When I ran up to her and asked her what had happened, there he was. The devil himself. My father. He reeked of alcohol, and I could detect his shadow towering over me. It’s funny how that I think of it. I used to fear that son of a bitch. Now, I’m way taller than him, and hate his guts. I turned around to see a faux-sympathetic smile plastered on his face.

He explained how my mother was being “clumsy” and had fell and busted her lip on one of the corners of the kitchen table and when I turned back around to face my mother, she smiled gently and nodded in agreement. She didn’t say anything after that.

It was then I realized my father had beat my mother to a pulp.

Long story short, when I found it was my father, sure, I was frightened. In fact, I remember going into my siblings’ rooms to inform them, they shrugged it off and told me that dad had been doing it for a while now.

Over time, when my dad had found out that I was aware, he didn't mind beating the absolute shit out of my mother in front of all three of us. This was when my burning hatred for that man started. Nobody in the house even attempted to stop him. I did a few times, though. He took all his anger out on me. At least my mom had a break for the day.

I almost pitied my mother. Almost. Maybe if she was strong enough to leave him, then yeah, I’d feel bad. But she still decides to stay with his sorry ass. It’s pathetic. It’s unrequited love or whatever you call it. How could she still love that asshole?

I mean, I’m not even going to lie, I’m an asshole too, but I’m definitely not my dad. I would never want to be him. He’s not someone I looked up to, he doesn’t do anything inspirational. He’s a businessman. He travels the majority of the time, and I’m pretty sure my mom invites men over when he’s gone. I don’t care enough to find out. But if I ever hear some guy rearranging my mom’s guts, I’ll kill him. I don’t even blame my mother. What she’s doing is wrong, she knows it and so do both of my older siblings. But they don't seem to care so why should I?

Who knows why she just won’t leave him. Maybe it’s cause they don’t want to ruin how people view our “picture perfect” family. I wonder what they’d say. “I thought the Suna’s were the ideal family? I guess not.”

My dad would probably lose it if he heard that.

Both my mother and my father are the cause of this broken family of mine. They never fed me or any of my siblings the love we always desired when we were younger. They never came to any of my volleyball games when I was younger. They never applauded me for the little recitals we’d have in class in primary school. They were never even here for most of my childhood. They always put money first and left us with the housekeepers. Hell, the housekeepers probably know me better than my own parents.They failed as parents. I despise them for it. They’re most likely the reason I am the way I am, but to be honest?

I don’t give a fuck.

In fact, I should thank them! Because of how they “raised” me, i’m extremely blunt, which is why people respect me. I use the hatred I have for my family and take it out on people and no, I’m not proud of that. I may be a heartless asshole, but I like that people fear me. The hell? Does that make me a sadist? Either way, people know to never fuck with me cause I’d fuck their shit up. I’ve overheard many people say it’s ‘cause of my privilege. It probably is. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure can buy you many other things.

If my parents were broke, I’d probably be expelled from school by now. Abuse of alcohol and drugs are forbidden on school property. I don’t even take them at school, I somewhat care about my education and health, but sometimes I just need to blow some steam. Even if I did, nobody’s gonna say shit since my dad is the head of Japan’s board of education. How did his ass even get there?

Call me lonely or cynical. Maybe I am. But how is that a bad thing? Why do people need a significant other to rely on? What, a soulmate is just going to turn my life upside down then suddenly bring me happiness? Pfft, I’m gonna need actual proof that shit like that still happens. I’ve only seen shit like that in fairy tale movies. It’s whatever, though. I can live with being alone. I’ve basically been alone my whole life and it isn’t as bad as people make it.

You loved the idea of having a soulmate. The thought of meeting someone who just understood you, accepted you for who you were, and most importantly, loved you excited you. You couldn’t wait to meet your soulmate.

But recently, you weren’t sure soulmates existed.

When your older sister, Akira, came into your room and burst into tears, it frightened you. Your older sister, the one who’d always provide you advice on relationships and how to keep one was in your room sobbing hysterically because hers hadn’t worked out.

“I just can't believe it,” she sobbed.

You couldn’t believe it either. Your sister had recently gotten engaged to her boyfriend of 9 years. They started dating at the age of 15 and managed to make things work out even after high school, and out of all those years of dating, they never broke up. Not even once.

They’d go on romantic dates on Saturdays and they’d always write love letters to one another every day, just to remind one another of how grateful they were to have each other in their lives. On Halloween, they’d dress up as fictional characters from TV shows and books and take cute selfies and bake a bunch of sweets. They’d invite you to come bake with them, but you would politely deny. You knew they were only offering so you wouldn’t feel left out, which you appreciated.

Of course, they’d argue every now and then, but at the end of the day, they always managed to talk things out. Oh to have a relationship like theirs. They were everything you wanted to have in a relationship and more.

“I really thought he was the one for me, y’know?” No, you don’t know. But that doesn't matter. What mattered was cheering your sister up.

“Maybe he wasn’t ‘the one’ Akira, and that’s okay! People come and go all the time, soulmates come and go all the time as well-”

“You still believe soulmates are real, huh?” she let out a humorless laugh and sniffed her nose, “What If I missed my one shot at love, Y/N? What if I lost my soulmate?”

That’s some deep shit.

Now that you think about it, were soulmates real? Soulmates come and go, yes, you’re aware of that, but even though they leave, it’s always temporary. Soulmates always find a way back to their other half, the piece that completes them.

Your dad never made it back to your mother.

He died in a car crash 5 years ago. Your mother and father had been arguing because she claimed your father was cheating on her since he wouldn’t let her check his phone.

You were 13 at the time. Your sister Akira was accompanying you in your room, listening to them arguing back and forth with one another. There was furniture flying across the room, glass breaking, and both of them throwing curses at each other. You were scared. They never argued in front of you and your sister. They'd bicker sometimes, but it was never anything too deep.

Eventually, your father had enough of your mother’s false accusations, and out of anger, he packed his things and left home. For weeks. It wasn’t until one of your uncles called your mother and broke the news. She didn’t take it very well.

Late 2012-early 2013.

Not many people came to your father’s funeral, his family didn’t like the fact that he and your mother were together, they said your mother was trouble, but your dad still stayed with her, even if that meant it would completely destroy the bond he had with his family. Now that’s true love, you had thought. Only your mother, Akira, the Sunas, your uncle, and you, of course, attended the funeral.

It hurt a lot. It hurt when your mother informed both your grandparents on your mother and father’s side and all they could do is put the blame on her. It hurt how they had claimed you, Akira and your mother were a hindrance to your dear father’s well-being. How could they be so cruel at a time like this?

That was the first time you ever questioned if soulmates were real. Maybe they fell in love at the wrong time? Who knows.

After your father’s passing, Fumiko Suna, your mother’s best friend, was there to help your family out financially. Your mother couldn’t even find the motivating to go to work. Your mother and Fumiko have been best friends since junior high, they’ve literally been inseparable ever since. In fact, after they both got married, they decided to live right next to each other.

Your mom didn’t cope with your father’s death very well; none of you did. But your mom had it the worst.

She would cope with alcohol and clubbing which would always result in her bringing different men home almost every night. You didn’t say much about it, you thought it would be selfish to since that’s what seemed to make your mother feel better about herself, but your sister hated it. She was already 19 and in college at the time, but when she visited and found out that your mother had basically been neglecting you, she was furious.

“Seriously, mom? This is what you’re gonna do while your 13-year-old daughter is in her room having a literal mental breakdown because of your childish behavior?” Your sister had barged into your mother’s room when she thought you were asleep, she was screaming loud.

“You’re interrupting something important, Akira. You know better than to-”

“Oh, shut the hell up mom. You’re the last person on earth to be saying shit like that.”

“Well, if you’re done, you can leave my room now. You’re being disrespectful, and this behavior is not tolerated!” Your mother was screaming now. The man in the bed covering his body under the covers and looking back and forth between Akira and your mother.

“Sakiya, maybe you should hear your daughter out-”

“Not now.” your mother scarcely interrupted the man, eye contact never leaving Akira. “Y/N has never complained about this when you were in college. She knows this is my way of coping, why can’t you understand that too!”

Akira scoffed. “So what, getting fucked by random strangers you find on the filthy streets is your way of coping? Getting wasted every damn night to the point where Y/N has to drag you up to bed is okay with you? Do you even know how much this is affecting Y/N? Did you even bother asking her how she felt? I hate breaking it to you mom, but you need serious help.”

“You selfish child!” Your mother screamed, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around her body, getting up from the bed. “How dare you say that to your own mother?”

“I’m only telling the truth! If you’re the mother, then it’s your job to be taking care of Y/N, not neglecting her. When’s the last time you’ve engross in an actual conversation with her when you were fully sober?”

Your mother was silent. She quickly walked up to Akira and grabbed her by the hair and slammed her headfirst against the wall.

“You’ve got a big mouth! Maybe I should wash it with soap like I did back in the day, hm?” Akira was attempting to push her mother away, but she wouldn’t let go of her grip. The man that was still on your mother’s bed was in panic, yelling her name, which didn’t have any effect. He might as well stop.

"Look," Akira mumbled, struggling to get away from your mother's grip, "I know it's been hard ever since dad left-"

“Mom! Let go of her!” You cried from the door of her room.

All 3 adults froze and looked at your glassy eyes, mouths wide open.

“Hey, kiddo, I thought you were asleep?” Akira playfully said, your mother let go of Akira and crossed her arms then looked away from you.

“Well, I can't really go to sleep when there’s a bunch of adults yelling about my well-being,” you muttered incoherently. You quickly wiped the uncontrollable tears off your face and sighed.

“Honey,” your mom started, she walked slowly to you, carefully examined your face, and attempted to hug you, but you didn’t accept the offer which made your mother frown. She stopped walking until she was almost face to face with you and placed a hand on your shoulder gently. “Baby, your sister told me that you weren’t happy. Is this true?”

You looked away from her and stared dully at the floor, subtly shifting your feet, then you softly shook your head “no.”

“See Akira, Y/N is happy. So please stop stressing her out.” Your mother said through gritted teeth, then faced you once again. “Y/N honey, how about I go tuck you into bed, hm? I’m so sorry for the excessive noise that was caused.”

“Mom, how clueless can you be? Y/N looks miserable! It’s unhealthy for Y/N to be living-“

Slap.

Your mother just slapped Akira on the face.

“I know what’s best for my daughter! I am her mother! You are not the one who should be telling me how to take care of my own kid!”

“That’s enough, Sakiya.” a familiar voice said from the door.

“Fumeiko-“

“It’s fine. Sakiya, we need to talk.” It was Fumeiko Suna, your mother’s best friend, also known as your next door neighbor. She had been standing in the hallways the whole time, you didn’t even know she was there. Akira was the one who called her over.

That night your mother agreed to get help for her drinking problem. She was gone for 6 months. During those 6 months, the Suna’s took you in since Akira would be in college and you couldn’t have been more grateful.

You and Rintaro were the only kids in the house, being that you both were the same age and the others were in college. It was okay, they were all very polite, dinners were awkward, you could feel some sort of tension between the family but you didn’t pay any attention to it.

When your mom finally came back, it was awkward at first. She still seemed the same, loving and caring, just sober and free of alcohol. It was nice. You two spent the weekends bonding at the mall, watching a movie, or even getting your nails done. Eventually, she gained your trust back, and you couldn’t have been happier.

January 2017.

“Akira, don’t say that. You may not believe me now, but you are such an amazing person, don’t ever think you’ll never find love again. It’s all about having a positive mindset!” you said, thoughtfully stroking her hair as her head laid on your chest.

“I told you that.”

“You did,” you chuckled, “you should take your own advice.

“Oh, shut up!” you both laughed, and Akira let out a shaky sigh. “Thank you, Y/N.”

“Of course, you don't need to thank me. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

— so this is one of the writings that i wrote in January 😭 it’s been in my drafts and i re-read it once and instantly hated it right after. if there’s any typos please tell me!!

— also i wanna apologize again for putting gmds on hiatus,, i feel so bad 😭 i wanna make it up to you guys but idk how so if you have suggestions pls tell me

[pasiveagressive]

Quarantine // h.s.

This was a request! Hope you like it!

Warnings: Language, implications of adult activities

March 1st 2020

Today was the happiest day of your life. You married your best friend in the world, with your closest friends and family present. You thought the day Harry asked you to marry him was going to be your all time high, but you now realise that nothing would ever compare to saying I do. You got married in Harry’s hometown. A sort of destination wedding for you and your family and a local one for him and his. 

“Hey Mrs. Styles.” you feel his arms wrap around you. You are standing in the bathroom of your honeymoon suite. Wrapped in just a towel steam fogging up the mirror from the shower the two of you had just taken.

“Oh god Harry, I don’t know if I can go by that. That is what I called your mom when we first started dating. It just seems weird.” you laugh and lock eyes with him through the reflection.

“Well that’s too bad. When you agreed to marry me you agreed to become Mrs. Harry Styles, so that’s what I am calling you from now on.” He teases you kissing your neck at the same time. 

“Babe.” You whine

“Yes Mrs. Styles?” you shoot him a look “Maybe this will help. Mrs. Styles,” a kiss on your neck “Mrs Styles,” another this one a little higher, “Mrs Styles.” This time you grab him and put his lips on yours.

“Yeah definitely helping.” you sigh into him.

March 10 2020

You had just gotten back to LA from your honeymoon last night. Harry had gotten up early to go to some meetings about Love on Tour. So you are home alone. You have the TV on as you fold laundry from your trip. 

“Breaking news, the Covid-19 virus has spread and more countries are shutting down, banning all travel.” the news anchor explains. You stop and look at the TV. Watching as the report goes on explaining what's happening.

March 13 2020

“Breaking news, the Covid-19 virus has spread and the President of the United States has declared a state of emergency, issuing a stay at home order for all non essential personnel.” three days ago this had seemed a world away, here it was now on your front doorstep. You and Harry sit and watch the new anchor go into more details. After the report you turn off the TV. Harry has his arms around you but you lean in closer if possible.

“This is scary bub.” you say out loud, breaking the silence and speaking what is on both of your minds. Harry just nods his head and then smiles 

“Guess what though angel?” 

“What’s that bub?”

“It’s like our honeymoon has been extended.” you shake your head smiling.

“That is true I suppose.” you pretend to think about it “I don’t know though, I might not feel the same now that there is no sun, or sand, or ocean, or Mai Tai in my hand.” you tease

“Well the Mai Tai thing we can fix, but I am sure you won’t be saying any of that here in a minute.” he smirks picking you up and making you squeal.

April 27 2020

You and Harry were fighting. Again. It feels like the 20th time in the last week that the two of you had gone at it. He is stressed and you are stressed and you both are sick of being cooped up in the apartment, that honestly was a bit to small for the two of you but it originally only had to work for a few weeks before Love on Tour was supposed to kick off, and while he was away you were going to go house shopping. Obviously that hadn’t happened. The current pandemic caused everything to go wrong. 

“I just don’t understand why you would do that!” Harry yells 

“That is how I have always done it, before we were together, and since we’ve been together.” you retort with an equal volume. 

“Well maybe that’s our problem, maybe we shouldn’t be together.” well that was a new statement. Your eyes go wide. Harry’s do to the moment he realises what he said. “Angel-” He starts but you cut him off.

“Please don’t call me that right now.” You say almost in a whisper trying to hold back tears. “ I need some time alone.” You say walking to your bedroom. You shut the door and that is when you let the tears go. 

It's a little while later when there is a soft knock on the door. 

“Y/N?” you had stopped crying about an hour ago and are just trying to figure out what you want to say to him.  You walk over to the door and unlock it revealing Harry who looked as if he had been crying as well. You yourself are in one of his sweatshirts that is far too big for you but makes you feel as though he is hugging you. Stepping to the side you let him in. “Y/N.” He reaches out to hug you and you brush past him. 

“We need to talk.” you state, he nods.

“Angel you know I didn’t mean what I said.” He tests out the pet name and you allow it, so he continues. “I was upset over literally nothing that you have done, I was just taking my stress out on you which is 100% unfair of me.”

“Yes it is unfair to me. But Harry you can’t say things like that. Do you want to get divorced?” you question and he looks at you like you grew a second head. 

“Is that a joke? Absolutely not.” 

“Then you can never say something like that again. Unless you plan on getting a divorce-” 

“Never going to happen.” he cuts you off

“As I was saying unless you plan on getting a divorce we can’t say things like that to each other. Harry I literally felt like I couldn’t breathe and that you didn’t want me for a while.” tears start rolling again. This time when Harry reaches out to you, you let him hold you “I love you so much and to hear you say those words nearly broke me bub.” you feel something hit the top of your head and look up to see Harry crying as well.

“I am so sorry love. You are my everything and I never want to make you feel that way okay? I love you so very much.” He kisses your forehead and the two of you fall asleep like that.

July 1st 2020

“Hey there to the lovely couple!” Jimmy Fallon says as you sit in front of your computer. 

“Hi Jimmy.” 

“‘Ello Jimmy.” 

“How are the two of you doing? Staying healthy?” Jimmy asks and you let Harry answer

“Yeah we are.” Harry smiles and answers

“What have been your favorite things to do while stuck at home?” He asks this time you answer

“We have being doing a lot of cooking and baking and then a lot of working out to equalize all of the cooking and baking.” you answer with a laugh Harry nods his head agreeing with you

“Y/N has also really gotten into TikTok. She tries to get me to do them with her but I haven’t broken yet.” 

“Ah yes young people things.” Jimmy laughs and the two of you laugh with him “Y/N I have to ask, what was it like on that beach with your husband eroctically eating watermelon?” 

“Just that Jimmy eroctic.” Harry goes red as you and Jimmy laugh some more. 

“Okay honesty time you two, have things been completely smooth sailing at the styles’ household?”

“Oh god no.” you answer immediately

“Yeah no, but that's to be expected. We only saw each other for two months and then after that we were still seeing each other almost every single hour of every single day.” Harry expands on your answer

“Yeah, I love him with my whole heart but we had never spent time like that together and honestly if this hadn’t happened we may never have. I am almost glad for the pandemic in that sense, because I knew that I loved him but now I know him on a whole new level and I can say that I will never be able to love anyone the way that I love Harry Styles.” you look over at Harry and see that he has teared up “Oh come on Styles don’t go soft on me now.” you joke and kiss his cheek

“Okay I have one more question and it is mainly for you Y/N.”

“Alright, hit me.” you say

“What made you decide to change your name. A lot of celebrities keep their name when they get married but you decided not to, why?” you had been expecting this question

“It really came down to the fact that I want to have the same last name as my husband and our children someday to not wonder why mommy has a different last name than them, or why daddy had a different last name. The more we thought about it the more it made sense. If companies don’t want me to model for them simply because I don’t have the same name I did when I rose to fame, why should I be working with them at all.” Jimmy nods as if what you are saying makes sense

“Alright thank you for zooming with me today.” Jimmy says to you and Harry

“Thanks for having us Jimmy.” Harry says smiling and turns off the camera then he turns to you “Have I told you recently how much I adore you?” 

“It doesn’t hurt to hear it.” You smile at him

“Well I love you so much and I think you are the most amazing woman I have ever met.”

“Your not so bad yourself Mr. Styles.”

[world-of-aus]

How do I tell my arab mom I don’t like her friend living with us?

So a little backstory: my mom and dad got divorced. My dad is working in the Central African Republic while me, my brother, and my mom are living in Quebec. My mom's friend arrived beginning of July to Canada and is waiting for his PR card to show up in the mail. They get into fights a lot and usually lasts for few days. This, I feel, affects my mental health because I recently got back from vacation with my dad and the same day I arrived I cried myself to sleep (I don't know why but I think it's because of their stupid fights). This most recent fight made him (my moms friend) book a ticket to lebanon. I cant tell you how happy I was that he was leaving. But however, the reconciled at the end and he cancelled his ticket. It happens a lot. I get angry really easily now because of their stupid fights. And I'm going to be starting university this fall and I don't need this kind of shit on top of university stress. How do I tell my mom I want him out of the house that my dad is working really hard in place he absolutely hates to provide for us the house, and monthly allowances. How do I tell her I am very uncomfortable with a man living with us when my dad doesn’t know about this while my dad is the one paying for the house? Her friend got a part time job at Amazon as a night shift worker and he only went one time this week. He is lazy. How do I tell her I don’t want him to live with us anymore? Side note: he has other friends in Canada so I won’t be like licking him out to the street. This guy is also a grown man in his late 30s. He needs to start depending on himself since he is in a new country and planning to stay here for a while since the situation in lebanon is so bad (which is why my family and I left). I want to tell my dad about him but that would be like throwing my mom under a bus and I don’t want to do that. I feel like the only way is for him to go live alone or with one of his other friends who he doesn’t have a fight with every 3-5 days. (Btw u can reply to this publically, I need all the help I can get hehe)

What I would personally do is sit mom down and have a one on one with her (make sure its just you and her no friend involved). Let her know how you're feeling, what you've been seeing (the fights), and how the environment has been since your mom's friend arrived at YOUR home. Make sure you let her know that you understand she's trying to help a friend, but try as she may to be there for that friend a line has to be drawn. There has to be a respect there, not only between your mom and her friend but her friend with all of you as a whole. He was invited into YOUR home, given a place to stay for free from what it sounds like and if you want to back up any points when you speak to mom tell her that.

If mom can't see your point or simply brushes you off then bring in dad. I know you might feel like your throwing mom under the bus, but dad is working in a place he doesn't like to provide for YOU, he is doing this for you, to give you a place of security, a place that should feel safe, comfortable.

Bringing in dad can be the last of your options though, but it will all depend on your talk with mom and how open you are with her about your emotions. Approach the situation carefully, let her know where your coming from and stick your ground in a calm demeanor. Advise her that you think it would be best for him (because of the fights) that he try and stay with someone else in the meantime till he gets the PR in the mail. Tell her it's what's going to be best for all of you. I can't imagine your mom likes fighting with a male who is supposed to be her friend every 3-5 days. It's tiring. It's toxic.

I do hope you and mom can sit down and that she will hear you out. You deserve to feel at peace and comfortable in your home sweetheart. You shouldn't have to come home from what I'm hoping was a nice vacation with dad to only cry yourself to sleep.

Your mental health is hurting right now and you need to do what's best for you, and that would be first and foremost talking to mom. I hope mom will hear you out and at the end of it all take your side before you have to go about bringing dad into this or at most that's what I would suggest.

If you need anything at all please don't hesitate to reach out to me! ❤️