#I can see why people struggle to be objective about their romantic relationships

[anxietywriter]

Dialogue Prompt #55 || Weekly

"Ah well, dark soul games are kind of terrifying. They terrify me. I'm kind of awful at those sorts of games."

"It takes time! Once you get skilled enough it's pretty fun. I can help. Maybe come over and I'll let you use my PC?"

[emmafrostyyy]

y'all sleeping on Astarion/Lae'zel bc this moment is so...the way the flippant demeanor drops and he doesn't hesitate to call her out for sticking with her version of Cazador like their relationship is so underrated fr...

sitting down writing this bullshit like let me peel it like an onion a bit and elaborate why this pairing is fascinating to me

It's really interesting how during the most cathartic, life-altering moment in Astarion's questline, the reactions of the other companions are more about the moral wrongness/guilt of sacrificing innocent lives. Lae'zel doesn't do that and instead relates to his hurt.

She knows what's he's feeling, the lack of control, the unfairness of being powerless for too long. This is a woman who just found out her entire life purpose was built on lies, discarded and hunted by her own people after outliving her usefulness, and groomed to basically die for an insane power-hungry lich queen. She knows all too well that power isn't always real freedom. Her first instinct is to empathize with Astarion to steer him away from his hate and resentment.

Astarion/Lae'zel is so interesting to me because they're such a classic "can we make each other worse or make a better person out of the other?".

They both have genuine appreciation for violence and respect each other's ruthlessness. Astarion was used as a weapon of seduction while Lae'zel was of warfare. Sex with people is meaningless and not real intimacy for them, and while both have little understanding/experience of interpersonal relationships beyond the physical, they still feel and love very deeply. They have no frame of reference for things like friendship and warmth, but they badly want all of that and more, even if they don't know it yet.

In-game they can sleep with each other, which is basically the foundation of the normal Tav/Astarion romance. Lae'zel saw him during combat and got horny, who knows. Astarion who's used to luring people with his charms, takes up Lae'zel's blunt offer because she's a strong hardened warrior that can provide protection and be a worthy ally, and he doesn't know how to say no. Navigating the complications between one who wants to be seen beyond as a sex object, and one who comes from a totally alien culture with no concept of love/family/connections and only sex is honestly really compelling to me. It's a transactional, mutually beneficial thing with no emotional expectations. Once you get past the skeevy rockiness of their early relationship, I really like the idea of them slowly seeing something past the exterior and realizing they may have harshly misjudged the other, an unspoken friendship blooms, and in comes the realization that they are essentially loners longing for kindness and a comforting touch in the most desperate of situations.

Lae'zel is prideful, direct, has no sense of courtship talk, and doesn't hold back her thoughts the slightest--she's not sweet/agreeable and what you see is really what you get, which I imagine would be disarming for Astarion who's used to vacuous flattery and has difficulty trusting others. But she's also insanely protective, passionate, loyal, and an initiator-- every romance scene is triggered by her first and she's always showing effort towards her relationships, which would mesh well with Astarion who does need someone to nudge him.

She doesn't purposely suppress her feelings, she's just simply at loss at how to express them sometimes due to her wildly different upbringing. She stops the sparring match you agree to and an easy vulnerability slips instantly out of her: "I don't want to hurt you. I want to protect you, and for you to protect me." and "Thus far I've taunted you, devoured you, battled you. Now I want more than anything to soothe you." are romantic as fuck and Astarion of all people really needs to hear that tbh.

Astarion is also someone who struggles with reinforcing his boundaries, and a key theme in Lae'zel's romance is that she encourages and wants you to challenge her and learn to stand your ground. It's not gentlest method, but hey, relationships are about having to make an effort to learn each other's language.

I think he also would take pleasure "educating her on the matters of Fay-run" (I believe there's a whole banter with him teasing her and teaching her pet names) and would get a kick out of coaxing Lae'zel out of her shell with her shyness at showing public affection, and making her blush. Also it simply would be fucking funny to see Astarion who's used to easy seduction, trying to pass a persuasion check just to get a smooch and generally having to work to earn regular kisses from Lae'zel lmfaooo

Lae'zel also initially struggles to see her chains as chains. When she learns about Vlaakith's betrayal, she copes instantly through denial and shuts it down. Astarion is NOT having it and calls her out, he knows her well enough to recognize that she would value blunt honesty above all.

I imagine he also despises her lack of self-preservation, the way her entire identity is tied to duty and being in service of others, and doesn't understand her desire to still help/liberate the people that want her dead and are hunting her down. He wants to make this duty-bound soldier realize that looking out for herself, and putting herself first may not be the worst thing in the world.

They're so similar to each other but are also polar opposites in some ways that make a more equal, balanced romance I think. It's not a simple, one-sided, feel-good "she/he can fix her/him" fantasy because both of them have to earn each other's love, actually cut through the other's flaws, and actively motivate each other to be better versions of themselves.

They're not at all the other's ideal guiding hand. It's rough, jagged, and imperfect, but that's how healing goes. It's so far from being the healthiest relationship -- but even if their belief systems differ, their moral compass does often align. I imagine it's a slight relief for them to have a partner where there would be less shame and judgment when they expectedly, occasionally slip up and fall into their bad habits.

Also, man, the "You showed me the betweens and beyonds. Beyond war and peace, beyond passion and obsession, most importantly, you showed me freedom.", "First you were my wound, now you were my cure.", "But you saw something else in me - someone else I could be. Someone who could break the cycle of power and terror that started centuries ago.." lines really hit hard when applied to them.

Of course, they can also make each other worse, feed into the other's negative traits that will bring out the worst part of themselves. It's this duality of their pairing that is very interesting to explore, the way it can steer in either direction because it's an intense, fraught relationship at its core.

[jinkieswouldyoulookatthis]

Anti-destiel Wank (sorry but I have to)

If you hardcore ship Destiel, please just scroll on by. Please.

Ok, I'm gonna get myself in trouble, I'm sure, but I gotta get this off my chest...

Destiel may be a perfectly fine ship,

but,

IT'S JUST A SHIP.

In the actual context of the show there IS NO ROMANTIC OR SEXUAL TENSION/RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN DEAN AND CAS.*

Full fucking stop.

Subtext can be interpreted in ANY WAY YOU WANT. It is subjective. You will find whatever you look for in it. Please stop waving subtext interpretations around as if they were objective facts, they aren't. Subtext, by its very definition, relies on implied meaning and understanding, this means it is a subjective interpretation of the media that varies from viewer to viewer. The inherent variations are what make it fanon/headcanon instead of canon.

If you see tension of that sort there and it makes you happy to postulate the what if, then go ahead, that is what fanon and head canon and fan fiction is all about. But if the fact that the tension you think you see isn't being addressed in actual canon makes you grumpy, maybe you need to take some of the fanatic out of your fanning. If you are beginning to think the show creators are actively trying to repress Dean's "true sexuality and feelings" because they are evil, you might need to consider that you've dug in too deep.

Because, like I ship wincest. Yeah, I said it. But I am aware that canon doesn't actually include any level of sexual or romantic (in the modern sense) relationship between Sam and Dean. Wincest is not canon.

Now, are Sam and Dean the real "love" story of the show? Yes, yes they are. That has always been 100% the entire point of Supernatural, the great love story of two brothers struggling to save the world together. It's about family and everything that means, but at its heart, it is about Sam and Dean WInchester. Not all kisses and cuddles and sex kind of love, but love nonetheless. Full stop.

Now, the fact that Destiel is such a popular ship is not surprising to me in the least. Jensen and Misha are two gorgeous guys who share a lot of chemistry on screen and off. And, it is canon that Cas loves Dean. That has been evident since Lazarus Rising (4x01) when Cas was introduced. Castiel's love of Dean Winchester has been his character's main motivation all along and culminated with Cas sacrificing himself to save Dean, after telling him that he loved him in Despair (15x18)

But Dean's main motivation has always been to watch out for his brother. And though Castiel became Dean's best friend, he still comes second to Sam. Nothing against Cas, he just isn't Sam.

So why are so many people so absolutely convinced that Destiel is so real within the context of the story?

Well, I'm pretty sure that it is the same reason that they are so opposed to the idea of wincest.

As we all know, incest is bad, mmmkay? Incest is probably one of the biggest, strongest, cultural taboos we have. So it makes perfect sense that the idea of two blood-related brothers having sexual or romantic feelings for each other is considered icky. It's so off putting that it is a complete no go for even fantasizing about for most people. And that's probably a good thing, tbh, incest should be taboo. But where does that taboo spring from? Why is it so deeply off limits? There are several reasons, but the two main ones are:

That incest can lead to inbreeding.

That incest too often involves molestation or rape of children.

Both of these are seriously bad enough that we all pretty much collectively agree to avoid incestuous relationships. But, do either of these two reasons really apply in the case of Sam and Dean?

The short answer is no. Primarily this is because they are fictional characters that are being played by unrelated actors. But to humor the objectors we'll look at it closer.

We can take the first one right off the table. As two cis men, neither of them is capable of becoming pregnant, so outside of the mpreg (male pregnancy) or gender bending subsets of fanfic tropes, this is not applicable.

The second reason only becomes an issue when talking about the characters earlier in their lives, pre-show or flashbacks. Weecest or teencest, or whatever, are things, but these typically have separate ship names for a reason, because even when dealing with fictional characters this squicks a lot of folks who are otherwise down with the wincest ship. So most content is tagged or labeled as its specific flavor, so anyone can find it or avoid it. But wincest that involves adult Sam and Dean (the specific pairing I'm referring to in this post) doesn't apply to the second reason listed above.

So there really is nothing morally wrong with Sam and Dean having sex with each other. I know that statement is going to bother a whole lot of people, but it is true. Just because something is taboo does not automatically make it morally wrong. Being gay used to be taboo in our culture, and is still taboo for way too many people, even though there is nothing morally wrong with homosexuality.

Now, I wasn't in the fandom back at the beginning of the show, but I've heard tell that the very first Sam/Dean fic was posted just a few hours after the pilot episode aired. A few hours, that's all it took for some highly motivated fan to type out a story where they were more than just brothers. The story is called Reunion. If you watch the pilot, even with your anti-incest goggles on, the chemistry between Jared and Jensen is palpable throughout. There is a reason the show lasted for 15 years, and that reason is that Sam and Dean just work on screen so well together. So if it only took one episode for that ship to be born, what did all the future destiel shippers do? Well I imagine they felt somewhat uncomfortable for the first 60 episodes.

Flash forward to season four and the introduction of Castiel. Finally there was another male character for fans squicked by the notion of sweet, sweet brother loving to focus on! Cas was clearly fixated on Dean more than Sam, which followed the plot since Cas had been instructed to rescue Dean from Hell. As it would turn out, the brothers were destined to be the meatsuits that Michael and Lucifer wore to the big prize fight to determine the fate of the world. Prepping Sam for Lucifer involved him consuming demon blood, which made most of the angelic host view him as an abomination, a factor that Cas had to learn to get past in his relationship with the younger brother. But Dean was ready to go right out of the box, no assembly required for Michael. Castiel, and many of his angelic brethren, as well as a lot of Demons, seem to be drawn to Dean in a way that they just aren't drawn to Sam. Is this fair? Hell no. But I mean, look at him! Jensen has sexual tension with literally everything he comes in contact with, people, food, his car, the man oozes sexual attraction. Don't get me wrong, Jared is a sexy fucking ball of sunshine, and our Sammy is a damned attractive man, but he tends to be more repressed and less openly sexual than his brother, so it is what it is.

Where was I going with this? That's a good question. I got a bit distracted, sorry. Oh right...

At its root, destiel is a reactive projection. There is undeniable tension between characters in the show. Since all of the main cast are male, that tension is highly homoerotic. The two main characters, who are undeniably emotionally enmeshed and co-dependent with each other (a very well established canon fact btw), happen to be blood-related brothers. Oh no! Where is all that tension coming from since we cannot admit or accept that it's coming from them? Ah ha! Here is a new male character that we like, yes, it is obviously coming from his interactions with one of the brothers, even though he wasn't in the first 60 episodes. Yes, it all makes perfect sense now, all that tension was merely foreshadowing.

I've read through all the destiel subtext posts. I've gone back and watched all the scenes they reference multiple times with the express purpose of finding destiel. I'm telling you it is just a fanon ship. Which is 100% fine and good, ship that ship, just stop declaring it more canon than canon, because it's not.

And if you don't like fictional incest, cool, cool, you don't have to. But the underlying sexual tension existed in the first 60 episodes prior to Misha being cast on the show, so it was coming from somewhere. And it'd be cooler if you learned how to scroll past people shipping wincest, like I'm sure you do for all the other weirdass, squicky shit that people post all over the internet. But if it makes your heart beat a little faster to imagine that Dean and Cas have eyesex but that Dean and Sam don't, that's fine. I think it's delusional because neither ship is actually canon and both are 100% A-Ok in fanon, and honestly Jensen doesn't seem to be able to control his eyes, which is not something anyone should feel bad about (it's fucking marvelous) but you do you.

*Castiel does love Dean. He confessed as much, but Dean did not reciprocate. What I am referencing is a mutual romance or attraction, which does not exist.

[abyssalzones]

[1/3] Hello! My apologies, I'm not sure how the best way to approach this is, so I hope you'll bear with me. I have been struggling with some thoughts surrounding Ford and Fiddleford that I haven't really been sure how to parse, and I am genuinely interested in your opinion. I mean this in good faith, an open mind to learn, and from the perspective of someone who really enjoys your depictions of these two characters. Especially in your review/analysis of the Book of Bill, I really agree with the way you describe Fiddleford's significance to Ford and how their relationship with each other is.

I'm going to keep this fairly short and simple because my feelings on it are honestly not that complex, but I do really appreciate you coming to me with an open mind and explaining your own perspective. The truth is that I really don't think anything Bill did to Ford is equivalent to what Ford did to Fiddleford- which is not to say we're setting a standard for abuse at "the most extreme shit ever", but more that... I just don't see any evidence for it, whether that's textually or thematically.

Don't get me wrong- Ford definitely treated Fiddleford unfairly at certain points in the story. It's a major part of why their reunion feels all the more satisfying... but I think that has less to do with Ford not respecting Fiddleford and can be attributed largely to Bill's manipulation driving a wedge between them both. Ford and Fiddleford are, objectively speaking, equal partners: they were roommates in college, Fiddleford drove up to Oregon and stayed of his own accord to help Ford with what would become their portal project, and when shit gets to be too much, Fiddleford leaves. It's clear that even outside of a romantic interpretation they make for very good friends, something that to me is clearly not just a boss-employee relationship.

So the biggest faults in how Ford treats Fiddleford boil down to two things: a lack of trust ingrained from childhood bullying, and the evilest motherfucker in the world sitting on his shoulder and whispering lies into his ear. When Ford gives Fiddleford a stack of equations to work on, he's working himself to death just as hard if not harder. When he mixes up his Cubic's cube, he's playfully messing with him and potentially not understanding that it really is bothering him (if it is.) And later, when things start to truly unravel, Ford's rash behavior (leaving him at the diner, yelling WELL FINE I DON'T NEED YOU I DON'T NEED ANYONE >:(, etc) it's Bill's influence well and truly consuming him and successfully isolating him from someone he had a once-healthy relationship with. hell, even in the journal's small segment about the "a better world" dimension, Fiddleford and Ford eventually make up and become business partners after the success of their portal project, regardless of everything that happened between them- with a way shorter timeframe between those things than in canon.

Idk I just think that while it's true Ford has flaws I think that's true of... any other character on earth? and I just personally can't see a reading of their dynamic that's abusive being true. and that's not only for textual, canonical reasons but a matter of framing between Bill & Ford vs Fidds & Ford. I think "well abused people are capable of abuse too!" is a fair point to make but in this context seems superfluous and really committed to this idea that Ford is just as bad of a person as Bill, or something, that often happens with abuse victims in or out of fiction.

but that's just me

[saintsenara]

How are you able to enjoy toxic/unhealthy/“problematic” ships/characters without feeling weird (for lack of a better word) about it?

I ask this because I want to be able to do this myself as it seems like a much more enjoyable way of engaging with fiction to me. I can get over some ships just being toxic and the characters not being good together and still enjoy their dynamic but I have trouble with the other ships that feel morally wrong. I know it’s just fiction but I can’t seem to get over the ick feeling I have when I think about those ships/characters. I feel like I’m being too puritanical about these things but I don’t know how to stop feeling like something is gross when I feel it’s gross…

Do you have any tips to stop jumping to moralizing ships/characters?

thank you very much for the ask, anon!

i'm going to be upfront that this reflexive gross feeling isn't something i've ever really struggled with - both in fic and more broadly. this is due to various personal idiosyncrasies, above all the fact that i've got disengaged boomer parents who didn't police our media consumption [my favourite book when i was eleven? lolita...] and that i'm a doctor, which is a profession which requires you to develop a very high threshold for what you find disgusting. the human body - at all stages of its life-cycle and its cycle of decomposition - produces a lot of different fluids... and it's also the case that [just as if you can think of it, there's porn for it] if an inanimate object exists, somebody somewhere has got it stuck inside them...

and so the situation that i find myself in is that i consider it infinitely less weird that i enjoy the odd bit of hot tomarrymort action than that i actively enjoy cutting through bone with a saw...

but, obviously, "get a medical degree" isn't particularly helpful advice...

i am a ride-or-die fan of the concept of stepping outside of your comfort zone. this is why i'm such an avowed multishipper - i think it's good for us as fandom citizens to examine the potential of our faves in relationships [romantic or otherwise] which are either not their canon endgames or which aren't our preferred pairings, and in situations which don't align with their canon experiences [whether that means making them suffer or giving them full-on fluff]. it draws out the multiple aspects of a character to consider them from these different angles - and it prevents us from getting so stuck in one interpretation of a character or configuration of a ship which means that it puts our backs up to stumble across stories which approach things differently.

but stepping outside of your comfort zone doesn't mean that you have to go enormously far. it may be that a reader decides - having only ever read teen-rated fics where characters' sex lives don't extend beyond hand-holding and forehead kisses - to take the plunge into an explicit piece filled to the brim with watersports and age play. it may be that a reader decides - having only ever read teen-rated fics for one canon pairing - to read a teen-rated fic for a non-canon alternative. both of these are entirely valid approaches.

by which i mean, our comfort levels and our thresholds for discomfort are subjective, they're personal. if there are ships or themes or characters you don't want to read about because they don't feel good... you're not doing something wrong if you avoid them. exposing yourself to fics you expect to make you uncomfortable can be useful - and fiction is certainly a way to explore discomfort which gives you much more control over the experience than encountering it in real life - but it's not something you're obliged to do to be active in fandom.

the thing you are obliged to do to be active in fandom is to be nice to other people, no matter what their tastes in fiction. this means, at its fundamental level, that when you see people who ship pairings or like themes which make you think "ew"... you keep it to yourself/the group chat rather than putting it on the timeline.

but, once this is something you've got the hang of [which takes a bit of time! but practice makes perfect!], something i feel can be a really useful way of overcoming a tendency towards knee-jerk moralising reactions is to just vibe in the vicinity of people you know like the content you instinctively feel is gross.

this doesn't mean you have to read any of this content - but you'll learn just by hanging out near them that the people who do are just... normal. one minute they might reblog a rec for a pairing you think "absolutely not" about, the next they might reblog a cat picture which makes you squeal with delight. you'll like some of their content, but not all. you'll agree with some of it, but not all. you might like progressively more of it as you spend time in their orbit - maybe they'll explain why they like the pairing or character in question and you'll think "huh, i've never looked at it like that" - or you might not. this is absolutely fine.

all of us - at one time or other - have made a black-and-white moralising pronouncement: people who think x are gross; people who like y are fucked-up, you'd never catch me doing z. and these pronouncements are different from our wider, societally-influenced moral codes - which are good things, otherwise we'd live in the purge - in that they're fundamentally ways for us to feel good about ourselves and our families and our friends by defining ourselves as better than a faceless other. we say "you'd never catch me reading that, it's foul" when we know [or think we know] that the friend we're talking to would agree with the statement. we are far less likely to say it if we know that the friend - whom we see as a human being who is beautiful in their imperfection and inherently worthy of love simply by virtue of being alive - was reading and enjoying that just the other day.

and so the best way to train yourself out of reflexively moralising ships or characters or tropes is to put a face to the faceless other who likes them. be intentional in sharing a space with fans of the stuff you feel uncomfortable with and, eventually, it just becomes background noise. you'll scroll on tumblr, say "well there we are, jane's written some more of her sirius/harry piss kink fic - although i'm not interested in clicking on it" and go on with your day.

because the other thing i think it's really useful to do is to train yourself into reframing your disgust as disinterest. there are plenty of things which i don't seek out to read - and some of these topics are completely benign and some are darker [i don't enjoy reading explicit non-con, for example] - but this is because i try to frame it as that i don't think these things would interest me.

this is still the maintenance of a personal comfort zone, but thinking of the content outside this zone as something you are disinterested in turns it into something neutral. when you think of it as something to be disgusted or grossed out by, it naturally provokes a visceral response which makes you look through a moral lens. thinking in terms of disinterest, instead, gives you sufficient detachment from this visceral response to recognise, interrogate, contextualise, and control it.

and - in time - this neutral reframing may result in you feeling more interested in taking the plunge into the ships and characters and stories you currently don't vibe with, once you don't have an instinctive disgust response as a barrier.

or it may not. and this is absolutely fine.

[blueiight]

can i ask your thoughts on the fandom’s heavy focus on louis as an object of desire? it sometimes feels to me like people are more interested in other characters reacting to louis than they are in louis himself. i know the “helen of troy” stuff is a joke but it genuinely seems like he’s often rendered oddly passive in his desirability, like we’re looking at him through the eyes of the other characters even though it’s his story (to be clear: in the fandom, not the actual show). or am i being uncharitable? either way, you always have interesting things to say about fandom reception.

i think the focus of louis as an object of desire arose largely in response to a lot of racially-charged nonsense about show louis, namely, where a loud minority of fans tried to deny the abuse and horror of season 1 and frame louis as the primary antagonist/abuser of his own story. which in of itself had the potential to go somewhere, especially considering the feminized role louis occupies in parts of season 1. unfortunately its spiraled off into its own dead end at this point to where now people, a year and a half removed from the release of s1, can box louis's character arc into this tale of getting all the hot boys to look her way. when this is a horror and tragedy series. romance is part of that, but is a piece of the full picture. classic romance is very much horror tbh but thats just me

if we're discussing the show strictly, majority of louis's relationships are antagonistic. even with his lovers, they love him as much as they seek to control him. 'his love is a small box that he keeps you in', trailer louis saying 'i knew who i was without those pieces [of myself?]' . so on and so forth. the first three episodes of season 1 are about louis's struggle to maintain a link with his mortal community, in the midst of increasing racist tensions against the city leaders, all as he struggles to come to terms with his existence as a vampire and how his relationship to lestat fits in relation to all these pieces of himself. doubly so, there is also the nature of the second interview in present time, and the sort of antagonism between daniel + louis as louis eventually pushes daniel into burning the old tape. the latter half of season 1, episodes 4-7 is squarely about the triad of lestat, louis, and claudia, how lestat increasingly tightens his hold over them both, claudia breaking them free of it, and louis's response to such. doubly so, daniel becomes more hostile the less he knows, and the more louis's composed 'master of his instincts' personage collapses to show the broken man thats underneath. armand comes in at the end bc the interview has reached a breaking point once more [as it did in the 1970s]. i know, im looking too hard into the meme, but so much of where louis errs, where his memory falters, where history is completely revised, has to do with the question of claudia. even book interview foundationally was about this grief, though not nearly with the level of depth+ gravity the show has added to the story.

where focusing on louis as an 'object of desire' most impedes analysis has to do with claudia as well, bc if u see louis as that solely, then what is claudia to u if not a 'child interfering in [louis's] romantic affairs'? why are people already seeking to write claudia off as a wayward child unduly 'taking out her anger on louis', when it was louis at the end of season 1 who strangled her against the wall and refused to let her burn lestat? when its louis in the trailer thats throwing claudia's words from season 1 back at her, evading her questions in the cafe? when claudia is having to dress as a baby doll and advertise with a sandwich board for a theater + a coven-master that all want her dead?

i think this is by nature of the fact that iwtv is canonly gay and isnt afraid of showing that, and modern fandom is mainly interested in romance. claudia's relationship to louis is secondary, if not tertiary, to all 'camps' of this tiny tiny fandom bc she is clearly established in s1 as not being a viable romantic option for louis, despite claudia's perspective and her story taking up the second half of the first season, and will continue to be important in the second season. the 'helen of troy' fixation on his desirability in relation to romantically viable vampires [or even men] seems to be another means by which fans can ignore this part of the story, just as the mutual abuse nonsense about louis being clarence thomas the third self hating black man who stole lestat's lunchables and is 'just as bad as the rest' drowned out and continues to drown out any other conversation for the past year and a half. it is very difficult to have conversations on this character precisely bc of this state of fandom, where many people seek to crack the whip over a fictional character for not being mother teresa and having a complex response to trauma, then instead of discussing that, some seek to fixate on the fact that mother teresa can be sexy, actually. when thats not the point. why is modern louis so full of grief and all but suicidal in dubai, if not for the fact that claudia is permanently dead, he still lives, he regrets something, and wants to find the truth under it all? the jokes are cute and all, but lets put our thinking caps on.

[andreal831]

This fandom needs to back off of Matt Donovan and Zach Roerig

Starting with the ridiculous: Zach Roerig and Julie Plec never dated. It's ridiculous that I have to say this. There is a blurry picture of him leaning in to Julie Plec at some point. I even tried to do the work for you all and could not find one shred of evidence of an actual kiss. Y'all are just wild for this rumor. If anything, my search revealed that Ian and Zach were in a relationship. I mean look at that affection.

Also, with just a tiny bit of research, we can find out that Zach was in a relationship when he started the show and, due to issues at home, he ends up fighting for full custody of his two year old daughter while on the show. The only romantic connection there is any reports on is with Candice King and that was relatively short lived. Otherwise Zach was just a single father, trying to raise and support his daughter.

Now people will try to say Zach is racist as well. I've heard he was racist because of dating Plec. See earlier paragraph. Or that he made racist comments to Kat. Again, there is zero evidence of this. People keep pointing to this interview saying that he either does the Nazi salute or a black power fist and it is such a reach it's ridiculous. He is looking at Kat because the question asked related to Bonnie and Matt and he reaches forward as a hand gesture and then raises his fist in a fairly generic way.

I can't tell if people get Matt Davis and Zach confused because he plays Matt or if people just love to hate on Zach because he plays Matt. Either way, it is disgusting to spread rumors about someone being racist when there is no evidence as far as I can tell. It's also terrible to distract from the actual racism that Kat had to deal with on the show.

From every interview I've seen he seems like such a sweet person. He even said working on the show was a "healing process" and yet the fandom treats him like this. Zach goes to the panels and none of his coworkers seem uncomfortable and avoid him. Not that them liking someone means that person is good, most of them still interact with Matt Davis and yet unfollowed Michael Malarkey.

Now onto Matt Donovan.

First of all, the fact that y'all pretend this man isn't attractive tells me all I need to know. Objectively, Zach Roerig is attractive. You can not like his character but you all just sound goofy.

The biggest complaint with Matt is that he is "useless," but this to me just shows you are watching the show for either the romance or attractive people and not for storytelling.

The role of the "human" in fantasy is so important. We, as an audience, are humans and we need to have a threshold character. A character that reminds of that even though we are rooting for the supernatural creatures, they are still not the good guys. It's why supernatural stories often revolve around humans. It gives the show the humanity that it would be in danger of losing if it just focused on the predatory species. Matt reminds us of the humanity that is at stake in the show.

Matt is particularly important in this show because he not only the sole human in a pack of supernatural creatures, but he is the only one without financial privilege in TVD. Matt not only comes from a family that is struggling financially, but his parents are gone and his sister is struggling with addiction. Matt is working it appears full time while in high school full time. All of his friends are going to parties and given cars and clothes, planning for college; while Matt is having to figure out how to afford his mom's mortgage/rent. Season 1 opens up focusing on how much Elena is struggling with the death of her parents but dismissed Matt's struggles as some lovesick teenager. When in reality Elena at least had a support system. Sure Jeremy was spiraling like Vicki, but Elena and Jeremy had Jenna. Matt was struggling with the purposeful abandonment of his parents and his sister's drug addiction with zero support system. He even loses his childhood friends when Elena and he break up. He only really has Tyler, who, let's be honest is not the best friend in Season 1.

He is also the first person in the show to lose someone due to the supernatural. His sister ends up attacked and in the hospital and he then has to figure out how to pay for that while taking care of Vicki who is clearly struggling even more than normal. When Vicki does end up dead, he knows there is more too it and the entire town, including his friends, gaslight him. Matt has every right to hate vampires. They murdered his sister in cold blood.

Matt is so devastated by Vicki's death that is haunts him throughout the show. He even risks his life just to talk to her ghost for a few moments.

People say Matt hates the supernatural, and he did, but he had reasons. And despite that, he was always there for his friends. Even when he was terrified, and in much more of a risk than his vampire friends, he was always there for them.

Yes, Matt is the one driving the truck when Elena dies and Stefan saves Matt over Elena, but none of that is Matt's fault. He was attempting to save his friend's life with Jeremey's help. How is that any different than Elena having Stefan compel Jeremy to leave town? Let's also not forget who helps Elena feed in her early days. But the fandom never wants to give him credit for that.

Matt is constantly used, berated, manipulated, and compelled by the supernatural around him. Mystic Falls needed someone like Matt to stand up for them since they were unaware of the supernatural world. Even the "good vampires" killed humans. Matt was trying to protect his town.

The last complaint ties it all in, that Matt only survived so long on the show because he was dating Julie Plec. Again, that's a lie. He never dated Julie, and it especially had nothing to do with the show writing. I would also like to point out that the character Matt is based on, Matt Honeycutt, in the book never dies. So why are we surprised he doesn't die in the show? Matt had a lot of close calls and even had a Gilbert ring for protection. No one ever asks why Steven McQeen (Jeremy) doesn't die or assumes it's because he was "sleeping his way to the top." These assumptions are immature and baseless.

All Matt wants to do is live a normal life, something he had to fight much harder than the rest of them for. He is the most consistent friend out of all of them. People love to say "how did Matt get so many girls?" Because he's nice. Because he respected them and fought for them, even if they didn't deserve it. They would all have been better off ending up with Matt.

Honestly, Matt and Cami's purpose are similar to me and both of the actors deserve such a huge apology from this fandom. Some of y'all need to learn to separate a show from reality.

[aydaptic]

Considering you ship reed900, which is a ship that doesn’t have anything versus hank/connor’s relationship (regardless if it’s romantic or not) which is actually real, you really should not be throwing stones.

While I’ll do agree in respecting a creators vision, you do also understand that fandom has been changing/rectifying creators decisions, sometimes really dumb ones, for decades.

Fandom is supposed to be fun. If everyone had a stick up their ass about “this creator thinks this idea is shit so nobody can do it”, fandom would be a lot more depressing.

Also, you’re a Gavin lover, which means you know first hand what it’s like to be hated because of something as simple as “I think this character is neat” so why do the same to other people?

(1/2) This is the last post I'll respond to this topic. If you have anything to add, do it in the replies, as I will ignore any other ASKs bringing it up. Constantly repeating myself isn't useful for anyone and only clutters tags/dashboards.

I wouldn't even be talking about this if ppl didn't directly ask me, so do yourselves a favor and stop adding to the negativity.

Reed900 is adding content.

The other ship is replacing content (romantic/s*xual dynamic replacing a father/son dynamic.)

You're either being disingenuous or can't see the difference.

Even in an AU, a parent/child relationship can't be altered to be romantic/s*xual and be moral, bc that stuff is objectively creepy. Especially when related to the writer's therapy. It's even worse than shipping Markus and Carl bc of said therapy.

I repeat: There's a difference between "adding" something and directly "replacing" something.

Never said ppl "can't" do it. I simply point out how morally wrong they are for doing so. What they do with that information is up to them. If someone cares so much about what I say, then hell, that only shows they struggle to think for themselves. It's their insecurity/lack of individuality at play. I provide facts, opinions, etc. and let ppl make decisions based on it.

There's nothing morally wrong with loving Gav as a character. Shipping someone romantically/s*xually however, when they're canonically written as father/son, is morally wrong. It's very simple.

(2/2) I'm convinced the next ASK on this topic (below the cut) is the same person, so I'm adding it to this post.

If that ever happened, I'd change my WebComic by swapping Niner with a woman/human woman. Problem solved. It would be an interesting challenge, too. Only if it's Cage/Williams -- or they confirm it through someone else -- though. They're the lead writers.

I'm humble enough to have the respect/self-control to do so. You might not.

The joy I've gotten from Reed900 throughout the years can never be taken from me. Although I'd feel bad that I went against a creator's vision in the past -- against my knowledge -- my joy in those past moments before knowing won't cease to exist.

As for the future after learning something like that? I'd legit feel sick looking at my Reed900 content if Gav was canonically confirmed straight. So I'd have no issue stopping to create the content. Well, newsflash. He hasn't. Thus I'll keep making Reed900 content until that (if ever) stops being the case.

There are other sources of joy in life.

If you can't accept canon, and instead preach that it's OK to change it, make your own product with your own characters. Stop leeching off of someone else's hard work. That's just laziness and disrespect. Remind yourself that Detroit: Become Human wouldn't exist without Cage/Williams both. Learn humility.

[1moremilgram-enjoyer]

Es T1 Cover - Hibana

Hey there! Milgram covers, huh? They're really interesting! I've decided to look at all of them and give my thoughts on each, and while I thought about doing it all in just one post, I'm gonna separate them because why not. Anyways, this time I'll talk about Es' only cover (of songs not originally from Milgram), Hibana! Let's see how our favorite Warden connects to this song.

CW Allusions to guns and shooting

(Note: 'Hibana' means spark)

Hibana has the singer speaking to their lover about an issue with their relationship, which is how the lover struggles to express their opinions and make decisions for fear of disagreeing with the singer.

Now now, time to mute all complaints, Hesitating over stupid things.

(Translation)

Basically, they consider a love without disagreements "incomplete." If you truly love someone, then you have to accept their views even when you disagree, right? To love someone fully, you need to know them fully.

It’s “incomplete”, I’ll say it time and time again. nanananananananana Amidst a love that missed hitting “NO”

Even if it causes the singer anxiety and distress by the nature of disagreements, it's needed for their relationship to flourish. The spark in the title refers to the spark of love, but also to the spark of two objects colliding with each other.

I don’t want to harbor a love that will never end, Come on, properly fill me more with anxiety. I’d like you to act your part at peek a boo, Come on, answer to what I ask more properly!

I don’t want to love a weak-minded love, Come on, make it hurt more properly. Going so far it’s no longer funny, is surely much more enjoyable, Come on, melt me more properly!

(Note: Peek a boo is a game where you hide with your hands, but then reveal your face again. Thus, 'playing their part at peek a boo' means revealing their 'face', their opinions)

You can sorta see where the connection to Es is, once you consider most of these songs are abstracted so the romantic/sexual partner represents something else and the relationship is not literal. Es is singing this to themselves, asking themselves to be sure and confident in their judgement of the prisoners. That's what the love likely represents, too. Es doesn't want to hesitate, they want to be able to forgive and not forgive with the conviction a Good Warden ought to have.

[Imposter Boulevard] (Kazui T2 VD) Es: I'm the Guard. If I forgive you, I forgive you. If I don't, I don't. There's no other factors to it.

[Baptism of Fire] (Fuuta T2 VD) Es:  I am the Guard of MILGRAM, the one who judges your sins. It's not just you and Mahiru – I've faced all ten of you prisoners with my own life. Don't lump me in with someone like you, who used someone's sins for cheap entertainment!

Steadfast in their opinions, not to be swayed by whatever the prisoners say, not to let themselves get tempted by the idea of compromise. They can't be a perfectionist, they need to be unafraid of mistakes.

Knock knock, ‘with this it's a tie’, Confined within unfilled time. Perfectionism turns smoky, With an echoing voice I’m feeling vertigo and monotony.

But there's also an interesting implication. Because the disagreement and the steadfast opinions are necessary, but they're also distressing. In the song's original context, that's just the nature of disagreement, but here Es would be disagreeing with themselves.

Shoot up that head...

The imagery of shooting in the head referenced in the song art is about this anxiety and hurt induced by disagreement.

But for Es, they're stressed by the weight of their decisions, by the impact their judgement can have on the prisoners. Hibana brings up this conflict front and center.

[TASK] (Kotoko T1 VD) Kotoko: You are not the executioner who convicts people for their sin. The person who offers to save the murderers who deserve to be forgiven.. It's also you. Es: Aaah.. Mm.. *shallow gasping* K: Come, Es… then, listen to my sin… E: *gasp* Prisoner number 10.. Kotoko.. Come..! Sing… your… sins… *sob*

[Baptism of Fire] Es: I didn't wish for you to get a punishment like this! And I didn't instruct Kotoko to do that, either. Punishments executed through violence… Fuuta: Huh… E: I didn't think it would turn out this way.

[Love is (Un)Dead] (Mahiru 2nd VD)] Es: …I'm sorry. I'm responsible for the fact that you've ended up like this. Mahiru:*Coughing, heavy breathing* E: It was my decision not to forgive you. I don't intend to deny that. But… the fact that I couldn't predict Kotoko's actions was a failure on my end. M:*Heavy breathing* E: If I had known that it would turn out like this… [...] M: Yeah. Es-kun, you're working so hard… You're doing great. E: ...! M: …Oh my… are you crying? Es-kun…

God I love Es so much. I am so mad we don't have a cover specifically for them in Trial 2.

Anyways, that's the gist of it. Since these songs weren't written for Milgram, analyzing the general themes and topics is more important than going deep into each and every lyric, so I think this is a decent overview of this one. Hope it was good enough! Take care!

[taonmaa]

Following my previous post on Gilmore Girls and the ideas that flew out of the window every time Rory got a new romantic interest.

Lorelai’s character, just like Rory’s was diminished to two traits. It was of course different from Rory’s, but painfully obvious none the less.

First one being her inability to let go and forgive. Her beef with Emily, her mom, seems so strained even by the middle of the 3rd season, that it is painful to watch. It does, of course, provide a lot of drama and makes the show exciting, but it leaves a bad aftertaste.

Lorelai, canonically, is 32 when the show starts. It has been 15 years since she ran away from her parents to raise Rory on her own. As the show goes on, we see a lot of moments where Lorelai and Emily discover mutual traits that bring them closer. But they never seem to make up.

I do not intent to say that Lorelai is guilty for every horrible thing that happened. Objectively, Richard and Emily are overbearing and extremely nosy people. But every person with troubled relationship with their parents has to ask themselves a question “Is it worth it?”. And in my opinion, Lorelai’s struggle isn’t justified. Because she knows what kind of people her parents are, and so she should know there is no changing that. But every Friday dinner there is always an argument between her and Emily about some stupid thing, that she keeps on talking about, instead of freezing the conversation. Lorelai is a grown woman, so she really had to snap out of whatever she was in, when making her parents understand her.

Second thing that she was centered around were commitment issues. And yes, the show would’ve been boring without them, and we wouldn’t have gotten puppy-eyed Luke every time she rolled around the diner with a new boyfriend. But the worst thing is that she kept coming back to her exes.

I understand Chris (to a certain degree), he is Rory’s father and it is inevitable. But there has to be some stopper on the extent to which her relationship with him can go. How is it that we got them getting back together three times in three seasons? Christipher is unreliable and a douche, but we can NOT pin the whole situation on him.

With Max Medina? Same story. Lorelai was happy with him, but she couldn’t do it. Understandable. Great plot twist. But the whole story around Rory’s graduation? Why?

To highlight that Lorelai has less common sense than Rory? That’s just sad. Because she is genuinely an interesting and clever woman, whereas writing of the show isn’t even trying to show her as such.

It feels to me like all concepts for the characters and dialogue was written by one person, but the story development was handled by the other. Which is not a good look.

P. S. Honestly I feel bad for wasting so much breath on a show that’s 24 years.

[elderwisp]

Hi:)

Mistake for Tyrin

Hate for Dan

Hide and pain for Atlas

Guilt for Frances

Sorry if it’s too much I’m just really curious 🐒

Hai! EEE great choices! Thank you! <3

Mistake for Taryn: What's the worst mistake your OC ever made? What led to them making it? Have they been able to fix it? How have they moved on?

𖤓 Taryn... Hates making mistakes and I think it's just the confrontation that comes with making a mistake terrifies her a bit. So when she inevitably makes a mistake, she thinks about it for a good while. In the future, Taryn gives into desire but it ends up with her in tears because she realizes without actual connection, it's just a hollow encounter. So she has this internal conversation with her own morals, how she views intimacy and vulnerability. In the end, she does find her own answer that is authentic for her but she does shut down for a bit.

Hate for Dan: What does your OC hate? Why? How do they act towards the object of their hatred?

♥ Dan hates the feeling of control, a lot of it does come from her mother attempting to set expectations for Dan. While Valeria tried to come from a good place, she tried to live through Dan far too much and it became unbearable. Dan hates being put in a box and we'll get to see how that affects certain relationships. The scene with her and Jeremy while he was being a complete dipshit, there's also a look into how Dan deals with romantic relationships. She doesn't like them because to her, love is controlling. Any situation she's put in that encourages that feeling, Dan sorta becomes dead weight. She'll underperform and do anything to make herself less desirable as a major fuck you.

Hide and pain for Atlas: What does your OC hide? Why do they hide it? What's the worst pain your OC has ever felt? Do they have a high pain tolerance?

☾ Aside from hiding his struggles with addiction, Atlas heavily struggles with opening up about his past. His past offers a lot of answers in which why he is the way that he is but like his character, I've decided to slowly uncover that truth. I find it to be a perfect representation of how he deals with hiding his vulnerability and past. In a way, he holds everything in until things begin to break and he slowly unravels. Without being too spoilery, the worst pain he's ever felt is heartbreak. A lot of that has to do with him feeling seen and when someone leaves, it's too much. Physical pain tolerance is quite high for him, he can bend and break all he wants (enjoys it a bit too much imo) but when it comes the emotional aspect? Well that's just absolute hell.

Guilt for Frances: What is your OC guilty about? How do they handle their guilt? Do they try to avoid guilt, or do they accept it?

𖦹 There is one moment in Frances's life that they hold the most guilt over and it was between her and Atlas when she was a Sophmore in High School. I think that specific moment shaped the way they deal with guilt moving forward. You see, when Frances doesn't feel in control or like she's making a difference in anyone's life, she tries to tighten her grip. Sometimes she harps on people or she'll hover like a helicopter parent. It isn't out of a bad place, it's just they don't want to get caught doing enough again. She'll do anything she can to avoid guilt.

[purple-petrichor]

Asexual Gero Masterpost

Okay so hear me out. I love this series and all of the wacky moments and fun characters within it. And the story of someone trying to find a partner even though they struggle is so, so, so good. And just like many fans, I’m super curious to see how the story will develop, and who Gero will end up with (if anyone). 

But there’s a big point that I’m not sure even the authors are aware of:  Gero is Asexual.

–Evidence below–

The base definition of Asexuality is when a person experiences little to no sexual attraction. This means that even if a person has libido, fantasies, and positive views on intimate relationships, their natural orientation is little to no sexual attraction to any gender. They may be capable of finding people romantically attractive, and may even desire partnership, however, the mechanisms for finding other people “hot” and experiencing desire for them based off of looks and sexual signals simply aren't there. However, due to how strongly society pushes the idea of instant attraction, and the heteronormative world we all live in, this can be extremely difficult to recognize within oneself. Many asexuals say they didn’t realize their orientation for many years because it wasn’t even known as a possible option. 

In line with this, here are many common Asexual traits and experiences that can be seen with Gero:

>>comfort with singleness

In the very first chapter, during a conversation with Bug User, Gero states that he’s not really interested in marriage or partnerships. Despite everyone around him naturally pursuing intimacy (his sister with her girlfriend, Bug User with his fiancee), Gero just…doesn’t. His natural conception of self is to be single. He even states that this is a comfortable thought for him, being ‘easier’. It’s possible the manga seems to imply that we should view this as ‘giving up’, but Gero doesn’t seem otherwise depressed or discouraged in his daily life aside from his job. The idea of being unpartnered isn’t one that feels ‘unfulfilling’ for him. It’s only when Gero is given no choice that he makes the decision to actively seek out a partner.

Of course there are many asexuals who do want romantic relationships, and strongly desire companionship, which is why...

>>basing relationships more on emotional bond and other factors than physical attraction

This emotional outburst is heartbreaking. It’s also very similar to how asexual people tend to talk.

All of these things, all of these ‘desires’ from Gero, all of what he values… are emotional. Not physical. There’s no depiction of sensual actions, not even hugging or kissing. Hell, they’re not even touching in bed! Gero’s face in the imagined scene looks confused, surprised that he’s even there to begin with, rather than the happiness of someone who’s next to their object of desire. 

His natural ‘fantasy’ (if you could call it that) has some random woman essentially act as a placeholder. She doesn’t even have eyes! This is consistent with the fact that many aspec people report finding it difficult to fantasize about people, and if they do, it may occur as vague nebulous scenes, disembodied body parts, or faceless people. A ‘faceless stand-in’ is exactly what Gero is picturing here.

Everything Gero talks about could be provided by a close friend or queer-platonic-partner, not explicitly romantic or sexual in nature. He just wants companionship. He wants someone to care about him. And his way of picturing that doesn’t involve sexual or sensual affection as a base.

>>turning down opportunities

Here we see Gero literally pushing women off of him. Even when someone is offering sex, it appears to have no interest or temptation. There’s no blush on his cheeks. No sense of ‘that’s appealing but not right now’. Instead, his reaction is a brusque and clear refusal. He’s portrayed as somewhat flustered, and is even so upset that after this he immediately walks right into a glass wall. A professional hitman, not noticing a pane of glass? It must have really thrown him off. 

Now, this refusal could be due to awkwardness, or a commitment to professionalism while on the job. Or, it could be that Gero is just truly not interested. And his flustered reaction comes from being forced into close proximity with something that deep down really isn’t comfortable for him.

>>not experiencing sexual attraction This is the big one! Let’s review that one accidental-grab moment:

I CANNOT GET OVER THIS PANEL IT LITERALLY SAYS “RELUCTANT”

HIT EM WITH THAT AGAIN GERO

RELUCTANT

ACCIDENT

NO BIG DEAL

Are those the words of a man who secretly wants to be physical with women?

The world instructs men to brag about and exaggerate their sexual interactions with women. Why? For the sake of ‘cool’ points: to be seen as popular, desirable, masculine. And yet, when Gero touches a woman here, instead of getting an ego-boost, his immediate instinct is to *minimize what’s happening*. All of his thoughts are about how uncomfortable he is, and trying to escape the significance of the situation. Downplay (it’s just the back of my hand), distance (A total accident, no big deal). The word that stands out here is UNWILLING. There’s not any psychological reward in this. Only psychological stress.

And sure, you could make the argument that he’s just inexperienced and self-conscious, but still. This…isn’t the reaction of someone who ‘could’ enjoy it in another circumstance. This is the inner dialogue of a person who is hyper-aware of what the world would say about this situation, and about him, and is immediately turned off, nervous, self-conscious, and negative towards that idea. This lack of reaction from Gero is further highlighted here:

Bro that’s not arousal, that’s awkwardness. He literally turns away a woman flirting and directs her towards another man instead. This isn’t inexperienced fumbling. This is feeling cornered and turning to panic. You don't exactly get any sense that Gero’s enjoying the pictures. Not even a passing comment like ‘nice’ or something.

For asexual people, there can be this weird ‘layered’ viewing of the world sometimes. You’re aware of what narratives the world has, how things work. You know what situations, phrases, and body parts tend to get strong reactions from people. You become hyper-aware of how you’re expected to act, and what actions you’re expected to enjoy, as a person of your assigned gender. Not to mention how certain actions around sex will raise or lower your status in the eyes of others.

And yet, when you realize more and more that your internal reactions are…not according to those pre-established lines….you can get really flustered and nervous. It’s not appreciation that Gero demonstrates here. This is pressure and embarrassment.

He follows the accidental-touch by asking Kinosaki what to do, because maybe he genuinely doesn’t have any internal desire about what to do next. So he defaults to someone with stronger instincts. Just as he ends up doing a second time with the swimsuit pics.

>>feeling like you’re ’broken’ or different from other people

Gero repeatedly seems to set himself aside from ‘normal people’. In his case, his excuse is that he’s ‘too damaged’, traumatized and manipulated since childhood to kill others and view the world through a rotten lens. And while that may be true (and questions about trauma or past experiences are sometimes relevant to asexuals in real life!), that’s hardly enough. Gero feels different, ‘seperate’ from others. “What makes you think I can”? I “could never do that”? There’s some kind of baseline rift that Gero feels; something related to him processing love and partnership differently than the norm. (And sure, within the series’ universe, this is done under the excuse of his hitman-upbringing. But did Gero “avoid love and women”, or was the draw never quite big enough to go after? )

(Side note: technically this has notes of being Aromantic, not Asexual. But in a society which pushes the narrative that both those attractions are the same thing, it’s easy to mistake lack of urge towards one with lack of interest in all. Or, like Gero, you may come to believe you aren’t good at relationships as a whole.)

>>not picking up on signals from others

Yup, Arashiyama was not shy about her feelings for Gero. And she was obviously designed to have looks that strike the audience as “sexy”. So it was a very interesting point of the series when neither her body nor her clothing were commented on in any way. Most notably, they didn’t seem to have any effect on Gero at all. 

Look at that reaction panel: Truly he doesn’t care. We don’t see a ‘blushing but hold it down and ignore it’ reaction; he’s not drawn with any blush at all. Gero is not portrayed as holding anything back around Arashiyama. He just truly doesn't feel any reaction to her signals.

In addition, this:

OH THE GLASSES

OH ITS THE GLASSES YOU’RE MAD ABOUT

SO HE DID HAVE A POINT OF VIEW THAT INCLUDED ALL THIS

SO HE DID SEE THAT 

BUT GERO DOESN’T REACT AT ALL

DOESN’T EVEN BRING IT UP

Honestly I don’t believe women and female bodies have any natural effect on Gero at all at this point, haha, he might be black stripe. That’s the thing about asexuals–we’re not stupid or unable to understand common flirting methods. They just doesn't usually trigger much of a reaction.

>>being confused or out of place in the world

As early as chapter 1, we watch Gero staring at Kinosaki while walking down the street, as they kiss and seduce another man.

One of the most common asexual experiences is a sense of wondering why people act the way they do. Why do people make such silly decisions? Why are they all so intense about sex? What is this hivemind they all share? Many asexuals report believing that people were “faking it” for most of their lives. Either they were broken, or the asexual person had to be. 

This stare from Gero, enough to walk into a wall and break his glasses with the force of it, seems to me like that kind of asexual fascination. A kind of non-understanding, a kind of calculated curiosity about the world. What are they doing? I mean he knows what, but why? Why doesn’t he feel that way- (SMACK)

>>genuinely believing it’s not that important to people

In early chapters, Gero doesn’t seem to grant coupling the same sort of ‘weight’ that others do. He seems to have no instinctual discomfort with ‘missing out’ on common life markers. As shown here, he acknowledges and honors his sister’s relationship. But for himself, he views being single without children as an equally legitimate path in life. Even his younger sister picks up on the unspoken demand–that the family expects them to have children, once they reach marriageable age. But Gero just…doesn’t. Or doesn’t take the possibility seriously. He really seems to assume the world will just relax and accept him being unpartnered. His entire bloodline will die out. And that’s fine, right? After all, it's not like reproducing and seeking intimacy are deep-seated desires in most peoples’ basic instincts, right?

I mean come on. This is basically a common ace joke.

>>assuming you do feel attraction because XYZ

In the absence of strong attraction, it is very common to mistake other feelings in its place. For example, many asexuals spend years assuming they do have sexual feelings for people, when in actuality it was factors such as aesthetic attraction (admiring a person’s looks) or romantic attraction (feeling romantically drawn to a person) all along. People have also reported ‘overanalysis’ of their own reactions–this person is kind to me, and they look nice, and I care about them, so that means I’m madly attracted to them, right?

Here we see Gero fall into the same trap of overanalysis. He felt a rapid heartbeat, and some physical reaction, that must mean this is love, right? Throughout the entire series, Gero seems to be assuming he’s straight because, after all, he gets nervous around women. 

Of course you get nervous, you’re new to social situations, bro. Of course you get nervous, she’s placing expectations on you and you desperately want to meet them. Of course you get nervous, this is a lot of emotion suddenly thrown at you. Of course you get nervous, you’ve been put under pressure to view all women as potential wife material. But is this good-arousal nervousness, or negative-stress-response nervousness? Signs point to the latter.

>>proximity to queerness

This is a more subtle point, but important nonetheless. 

We know that Gero appears supportive of queerness in general. He has a sister who is wlw, and actively supports their relationship. Furthermore, he shows no hate towards Kinosaki for his gender and gender expression, after an initial adjustment period.

It is very common for ace-spec people to feel vaguely aligned with LGBT+ issues, even if they don’t feel like they have “enough” solid evidence to identify as queer themselves. Often ace people report assuming that they were simply a highly-invested supportive ally. It’s possible that Gero is in the same situation–comfortable with queerness, accepting of different ways of life, but because of marginal interest in women and needing to find a partner, he doesn’t recognize the ways in which he himself stands markedly outside the straight norm.

>>But most importantly this date:

DEMI???

DEMI???

MY BOY YOU ARE DEMI!!!

Demisexual. A subset of asexuality. A sexual orientation in which a person cannot feel sexual attraction to others unless a strong emotional bond is formed. Forming an emotional bond is not a guarantee of attraction developing, however, it is necessary for the person to even begin to feel sexual interest in the first place.

This is…I’m still stunned by this scene. Honestly this is the most direct example of a demisexual/demiromantic male character that I’ve ever witnessed, and it may not have even been intentional. I probably couldn’t write something this direct or skilled about it, and I’m close to demi myself!! It’s truly astounding. I remember reading this chapter the first time and my jaw dropped, totally stunned, in recognition. This is how I think. This is how my mind tends to naturally think about relationships. This is almost on-the-nose textbook demisexuality. 

Gero you are demi!! Please realize!!

– – – – – 

So yeah this is what I think. Given all the evidence at hand, and how consistently Gero has been portrayed so far, his actions and tendencies would match being on the asexual spectrum. If it were canon, that would be incredible–these moments alone would make him one of the most stunning examples of a male asexual character in manga, hell, in all of fiction today.

Given the strong similarities, I wonder if the author/artist are possibly aware of this. They do have queer characters in terms of Gero’s sister (and arguably Kinosaki). So there’s a chance they may have heard of asexuality or aromanticism as well. …But also the chances seem low. A mainstream shonen publication? How much more queer content can they push. A battle manga based around romance? Wouldn't help much to make your main character incapable of certain kinds of attraction. And yet…god I wish. The more time goes on and the more chapters stay within these bounds, I keep wondering if there could be a chance.

Anyway each chapter that we’ve seen so far has only reinforced and continued these traits, so. <3 Asexual Gero is canon to me now thanks y’all can jump onboard!

[goguenard]

William Solaire HEADCANONS (very random)

(I will probably post a part II with more romantic/spicy headcanons but for now there you go)

-Huge dirty dancing fan, knows all the song and probably the whole movie by heart. Alexis showed him once and now they watch it every year at the clan (yes they have movie nights)

-He used to keep track of fashion trends and dressed appropriately but ended up sticking with a Victorian style and only dressing up according to the trends if required

-He always loved sketching and designing objects/jewellery and he still does it to this day (all in traditional with parchment paper and charcoal pens) he often finds local artists and commissions them to make his designs as gifts for the clan

-Very confused by technology and only knows the bare minimum, he would like to learn more but he genuinely struggles so he mostly asks Sam and Lovely

-He bonds a lot with Lovely, they have a book club together (Angel, Cam and some clan members are appart of it), Lovely explains gen Z stuff and William tells them stories

-William is a big tea enjoyer and keeps everyone’s favorite tea or coffee beans (also knows how to make homemade coffee) in his office when they come by to talk

-He drew portraits of every meaningful person he met and does more rendered ones (sometimes paintings) of everyone in the clan, he does little sessions where he invites them over to his residence one afternoon to pose however they want to

-On that note, when it comes to Quinn’s or Adam’s portraits he asked Darlin and Lovely what they wanted to do with them and they ended up burning them as a way to heal (he proposed that idea and picked a very nice location where they ate s’mores afterwards)

-He is from a seaside city in the south of France called Collioure, this city is known for its artists and was actually the place where the fauvism movement (an art movement) was born which is one of his favourite art movements with realism (him being from there also means that he has a southern accent, a french one but still a southern accent)

-He doesn’t eat much human food but likes to bake french treats like Bottreaux which is a simple diamond shaped fritter toper with sugar (also known as the fritter from princess and the frog) its very easy to make so he makes a bunch for the clan and often goes to New Orléans to eat them, he also has a cutesy « kiss the cook » apron that Vincent bought him to mock him years ago (he loved it and thought it was a progression in their relationship)

-Let’s be real, this man doesn’t care for pronouns. I think he identifies as a man but genuinely do not care how people refer to him, ESPECIALLY since he knows that using multiple pronouns help queer clan members feel more comfortable with their own identity

-This man is also probably pan or bi (i do think he might have a slight preference for men), and although he had PLENTY OF TIME to do so I don’t think he hooked up with a lot of people, only when he was curious about something (im not saying this man never got intimidate with anyone im saying that he wouldn’t ask for it and probably tested stuff because he wanted to)

-Demi sexual king that is also a strong believer in soulmates, reason why I think he never was in a relationship, he waited for his soulmate (scenario where he believes in romantic soulmates)

-Actually loves the sun especially the clear blue sky of southern france, he misses it a lot and paints a lot of sky because of it when he feels sad

-Contrary to Sam he actually prefers to eat from people, because he sees it as an interaction with someone rather than just a meal or an energy boost. So he has a bunch of different people (all consensual ofc) he regularly feeds on.

-Can handle social situations just fine, he is very charismatic and well spoken BUT it does tires him a lot (as to why Vincent handles most of it) so sometimes when he comes home from a very social day /week he doesn’t control his abilities as well and has broken door handles, curtains, sinks ect…

(The town in question aka Collioure)

(And the Bottereaux <33 fucking love those fritters)

[jb-nonsense]

For Tali and Astarion:

who felt romantic feelings first?

who gets jealous easily?

who is more protective?

what do they like to do together?

do they like pda?

does anyone object to their relationship?

♥ SHIP QUESTIONARE

who felt romantic feelings first?

Honestly??? The entire dynamic of their build up is hilarious since it started out as "ugh. that person." then to similar sense of humor friends. Then to "ok cool let's bang." There probably was a starting of a fondness for the other towards the end of Act 1, but romantic feelings weren't there. Talilah was fine with celebratory sex (and he asked first) and Astarion was trying to manipulate for his safety. Act 2 is when, perhaps, a flame started in for both of them. Talilah had kissed Wyll, who fit everything a hopeless romantic mind like hers would've envisioned in a s/o. But she felt guilty about it and did not spend the night with Wyll. She didn't know why, in that moment, she felt guilty, but it could have been a spark starting due to her spending more time with Astarion. And Astarion, in his conversation with her afterwards, fully expected her to move on with Wyll and her saying, no, she would stay with him, and perhaps she wanted something more with him could've given him a realization of his own spark. Neither would've fully admitted it, though, until the run in with the drow in moonrise towers, when Talilah asserted Astarion was his own person, in charge of his own choices. Her fiery passion in defending him and not questioning his choice definitely made him start to acknowledge his spark and his vulnerability in his gratitude to her afterwards helped Talilah admit her own. So I don't think it could be a sudden "oh." but more of a slow growth over time, where they eased into it.

who gets jealous easily?

I feel like both have their ability to get jealous, depending on the scenario/stage of relationship. Astarion, possibly early on due to concerns about not being 'good' enough, but he'd never be open about it. Talilah's jealousy would arouse more if she felt he felt like he needed to do something, so it's more a protective jealousy than a lack of trust jealousy. But honestly, I feel like there's not much jealousy once they've settled themselves into the relationship, as they trust each other enough not to be bothered. Also, Astarion is one of the companions comfortable with a poly/open relationship with Halsin so there's that to consider.

who is more protective?

They are both equally protective by the time their relationship develops more. At the start, I feel like it might be Talilah, because she does tend to have heroic tendencies. She's decent at reading people and after spending time with him, could see the pain and struggle, and had a desire to help and protect. But as time goes, Astarion gets equally protective of her. She's done so much for him, she makes him feel safe, and he cares for her, he'll protect all of that and see beyond himself.

what do they like to do together?

Watch the sunrise. It's one of the few things Astarion couldn't do before and sharing it with her is a small joy for him. Another thing is just having some quiet time in each other's company, with Astarion working on embroidery and Talilah composing a new song or poem. Talilah is a notorious cuddler, though, and at first, Astarion wasn't sure what to make of it, as he had issues with contact. But she was patient and gentle and he eventually realized he could spend hours with her snuggled up against him, talking about pointless things or not talking at all. Although their favorite pass time is pointless squabbles and trying to outwit each other with a sassy remark. Astarion, you're going against a bard with that so good luck.

do they like pda?

Hm, depends. Depends on who is around and depends on what it is. If Astarion can annoy someone with overt PDA, he will do it and goad Talilah into agreeing to being a troll. But if they're not being absolute brats with it, just some short pecks, cheek/forehead kisses, and handholding are the extent of it. There is a desire to be close to the other, though, so they tend to almost be attached at the hip.

does anyone object to their relationship?

Withers because destiny and that shit. Can't be distracted. I mean, probably? When I finish her playthrough and depending on stories, I do intend for them to go questing to find a cure for Astarion, which might take them to Evereska and/or Evermeet, with the sun elves. For those unaware, there are different kinds of high elves. The sun elves are the high elves that have a social hierarchy related to family name. Talilah's father was a sun elf, her mother a moon elf (a much more liberal sort of high elf who love travel and learning from other races). I am quite sure her father's family wouldn't be keen on someone from their line being involved with a vampire spawn and not being involved with someone of proper social standing in their culture.

[objectosexual]

Maybe this is just a Me thing but seeing everyone *constantly* refer to being objectum as gross or freaky and referring to objectum sex with those same words is getting old and a little disheartening... I know to outsiders we will always be seen as disgusting perverts even if we were to never engage sexually with an object ever again

I guess it's similar to how furries use similar self-degrading language; like why sterilize our subculture to appeal to normies and all that, but as someone who struggled for years to come to terms with this part of my identity and as someone who is already ostracized for being a gay trans man (and being called gross, etc. for this aspect of my identity), it just kinda sucks to see that be the only aspect of sex brought up

Like I have truly loved the objects I've been in relationships with. I think there is something to be said for finding beauty and connection with the mundane. And yeah, I've had "nasty gay sex" with objects too, and I'm gonna go out on a limb and say these sexual encounters were beautiful in their own right... Finding out what works for you, what you assume is working for the object... Learning more about yourself and each other in the process. Finding compatibility and connection in something (usually) not meant for such things.

Again maybe it's just me, but I think stuff like this should genuinely be celebrated more. I know there's weird in-fighting between people who don't have sex with objects vs. those of us who do, and I'm not condoning the people who go out and like, engage in sexual acts with objects in public spaces (ie. people who fuck random car tailpipes on the street/public driveways, people who have sex with roller coasters while normal day guests are there, etc.)

but as someone who does have a public object partner, a partner I will likely never touch, a partner I will never be truly intimate with, I have extreme empathy for the terrible longing, yearning, and lust for something you can't have. I think it's important to cherish what interactions we CAN have with certain objects, whether it's just visiting them in a crowded public space, or if it's having sex with them in your home, as if you're the only two things on earth

I'm a hopeless romantic so perhaps my perspective is all through rose tinted glasses, but again. I have truly loved the objects I've been with, and have felt connections with them on the same level as previous human partners. I've been attracted to objects for as long as I can remember, but when I finally had my first sexual experience with my old car, something fully clicked... Nothing in my life had ever felt as right as the first time we had sex. And this sorta doubled when I started T. But like, those experiences are extremely important to me, and I understand myself better for it and I wouldn't trade them for anything... And tbh, I just don't see how that's disgusting or freaky or whatever.

[polycule-playoff]

The Case Study of Vanitas vs Witch's Heart

Description Under The Cut:

The Case Study of Vanitas: (submitted by @spark-lapis)

"One of my favorite things about this ship is that you can immediately see that Domi and Vanitas both have A Type, and that is sweet kind-hearted people with deep compassion, white hair, and trauma.

Domi is (I think) canonically engaged to Noé, her childhood friend who she grew up with and shares everything with— Noé in turn is Vanitas's chosen companion (unwillingly at first, but over time they end up having a very specific vibe for one another in which Vanitas says that Noé is the only person he trusts to kill him and Noé really doesn't want it to come to that and clearly thinks of him fondly enough to write a memoir in the first place. also they're roommates).

Vanitas and Jeanne then also have canonically expressed romantic feelings for one another— like many things in this series, it's a little bit complicated and roundabout in its execution, including such items as "the character making unwanted advances to mask their own feelings and intentions is Genuinely Distressed when they actually catch feelings", "fake dates with your detested enemy that you shockingly find yourself enjoying because you've never even had fake affection before", and their conclusion, "the character making unwanted romantic advances suddenly going 'wait no' and running away the moment the object of their affections genuinely wants to reciprocate". it's great. spectacular relationship that i REALLY thought i would hate at first.

and finally, Jeanne and Domi— in the more recent chapters of the manga, there's a scene where, more or less, Domi tells Jeanne that she loves her, and Jeanne replies with "yes!!! Me too..!!! I love you too!!!". this screenshot is rightfully EVERYWHERE in the #vnc tag and i cannot imagine how they could possibly make it more obvious. Domi also calls Jeanne things like a beautiful flower and suggests with distaste that she should date Noé before considering dating Vanitas, which to me sounds like a "maybe we could be a polycule instead" suggestion from someone who is not fully sure if Jeanne is interested romantically in women. Domi compliments Jeanne a lot and follows her around on her fake date with Vanitas, extremely upset and kind of jealous when it seems to be going well at all.

there's also a scene where Domi and Jeanne dance and they're both sparkling and happy. and in this same scene Noé and Vanitas are dancing as well, and discussing what it means to love someone in a sort of philosophical manner. it's great.

the two legs of the relationship that weren't included, Domi × Vanitas and Noé × Jeanne, are really cool to explore in my opinion but i do understand why they weren't submitted because they barely have any interaction in canon (besides Domi being jealous and a little resentful of Vanitas, mostly). HOWEVER i think Noé and Jeanne could have a really deep and meaningful friendship considering all they've been through and all they've lost, and the kindness they both hold for the world despite it all. i think they could have each other's back when it counts and spend restful evenings sleeping by each other's side and plotting together for how to best fluster their mutual partners. it would be great it would be awesome it would be amazing.

and Domi and Vanitas i think COULD have an interesting and meaningful relationship in the same way, if maybe not a romantic one. Domi and Vanitas both struggle intensely with feeling unwanted and hurt by the world, they both hold immense grief in their hearts for all that has been taken from them, they both have seen family members pass away or be killed, they both feel like outsiders to kindness and gentleness and safety, they both feel undeserving of a kind, soft world. they've stopped believing in that possibility for themselves, and i think that is why they hold so much love in their hearts for the same kinds of people— Noé and Jeanne are both people who have been touched by the world's cruelty but come out of it with a resilience and an insistence on love and care for others, and that is something that both Vanitas and Domi yearn for. On the flip side, Jeanne and Noé are both kind, but feel alone and unwanted, unneeded, helpless— they were unable to help when it mattered most, they feel like failures that can only sit by and watch things happen. and the fact that Vanitas and Domi care so deeply about them is reassuring and warming to them, because it means that they matter, that they're wanted.

Vanitas and Domi kind of hate each other because they are too much like themselves and I think learning to love one another, even platonically, would be a sign that they've learned to see themselves as deserving of love as well.

this polycule is an embodiment of kindness and care and empathy even when it's hard in this essay i will— (sorry it was so long)"

Witch's Heart:

"they are all so fucked and none of them are destined to be happy but it's ok! cuz they have each other! (no they dont the only ones who always survive are ashe and noel(?)) noelclaire is already partially canon (onesided crush)!! the rest r just silly (+ sirius was taken in by claires grandma thats why theyre so strictly familial to me. shrug)"

"theyre so so silly"