#I can only play what interests me
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Lo siento mucho para el transmision en vivo
I apologize for the stream quality being horrible tonight/this morning. I am going through PMDD depression at the moment and still trying to function and do things that I enjoy. It's extremely difficult. The mood shifts are not great. My focus is off.
PMDD + autiHD + HSD + long term depression (& other suspected physical illnesses) is a rogue wave sometimes.
Also, I am having a difficult time also with trying to find a hyperfocus game that satisfies my mind like DayZ did. My setup cannot run a lot of the games that most people stream so I have to find streamable games that are cheap/free and that find my neurotype. It's really fucking difficult. I wish that I had a better gaming setup yet I do not. One must make do with what they have. It sucks yet I'm trying my best.
It's just that no one wants to watch the games that I play and are interested in. I tried to play ones that are more "popular" yet they are full of shitty people at every turn it seems. Kind, considerate people are rare in gaming these days.
I did enjoy the Gas Station Simulator demo and I really would like to play the full game + DLCs with it regardless of having viewers or chatters or anything Twitch related. My autistic brain craves a good game grind.
So, again, I'm very sorry about the stream quality. I am trying my best and trying to make do with what I have. Hope you can understand.
Since my sleep is messed up I will probably be doing evening or night streams for a little while.
#autism#actually autistic#disabled#disability#autistic#twitch#live streaming#chronic illness#PMDD#fuck pmdd#depression#mood shift#trying to manifest a better gaming setup maybe#i would rather have a clearer mind than a new setup tho#i just don't know what people would like to watch or what people care about#I can only play what interests me#autiHD#hypermobile spectrum disorder
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Arcane ships ranked, for fun
The main ships and some rarepairs I've found, I like pretty much everything in the first 4 rows. I probably missed some but idk what they are and I'm too lazy to add more rn.
feel free to add your thoughts or ships but again its just for funsies :)
#you can probably tell which characters I like most by how many ships of them I know lmao#ignore the many tags im legit just rambling abt my thoughts on each ship#caitvi is in its own rank cause Im not playing with caitvi fans they are correct that is the best ship even if I like other some ships more#arcane#arcane s2#arcane spoilers#caitvi#jayvik#timebomb#lest arcane#whats the ship name for mel and lest?#lestel? idk im not calling them melest lol#mel x lest#catcouncil#oo is that it? it came up when typing. thats kinda cute but also vague#vilco#ik that one for sure#vanco#jaymelvik#mel x sevika#idk the ship name for that one either I actually just found out abt it but editing the pic for them convinced me to ship them#idk if anyone else ships ambessa and viktor there were only 4 fics on ao3 under it but i ship it cmon he's her type#she would eat him for protein#jaymel#melvik#i actually like both of these ships but they're infinitely better as poly imo#dont know how many people ship viktor and vander either but i saw a lot of potential in act 2 for it with all their astral plane connecting#sevika x ambessa#that would be hot but also hate sex probably#I love sky but i do not ship her and Viktor he just is clearly not interested and she kinda lets go of her crush on him before dissolving
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#i c an ' t with h i m#mod posting#i saw someone posting screenshot of his eyes#but for me is this fcking goofy scene what the hell#his baby logic i' m cry in g#his crime is being annoying but naive and funny; that at times u can only laugh at him instead of being angry#thank god this is my first event with him in it#i feel like he is more annoying at other events#god help him#bless him with some more manners#i seriously ruled sebek out of my interest before i started playing twst#bcs i know his personality is pretty much being head over heels over malleus and that seemed to be all there is to him#fhsh i meant come on who can penetrate that kind of mind; the barrier is strong that one#but we find a way we always find a way
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The problem with a lot of traffic life interpretations in my opinion is they don't understand character foils or don't employ them in their writing. Grian-Martyn and Scar-Ren are genuinely pretty good character foils for a series that is not really scripted or planned out like a book is. I could go on and on about how they parallel each other and the similarities between them. Even the smaller details between the four usually match up
leaving the rant in the tags so I don't have a huge block of text again ueueue
#jamies bad posts#like a simple example grian is an âunwillingâ (though we all know thats bs) bodyguard/protector of scar#while martyn is a willing protector of ren#but i was just watching rendogs first episode and he says that his plan is to first go around attempting to trade with everyone#and it just. it STRIKES me how similar scar and ren are#they both have tempers when called for they both go around playing a friend to all and trying to trade#fuck it in the first few minutes of rens episode hes chasing rabbits around the desert#like ren and scar are two sides of the same coin in the context of third life#thats what makes the dogwarts/monopoly mountain arc so INTERESTING#because they both have goals good and bad and when you watch the others povs each side looks so... intimidating. so different#its only when you get really up close you realize theyre the same type of person#like martyn and grian idk just watching them interact is fun. its really fun#the way martyn gave grian a diamond sword in third life to protect him versus grian doing that w etho secret life#i can mostly think of just the little details but like. come ON#GO WATCH THEIR VIDEOS. ITS SO UNCANNY.#ren and scar genuinely drive me insaneee it drives me insaneee#ok like rendog makes a business out of enchanting and do you know what scar goes insane every season afterwards trying to get#the FUCKING enchanting table#if u like watcher lore u also get the yummy fact that grian and martyn were BOTH on evo#like....#the watcher/listener parallels. idk#third life#3rd life#trafficblr#traffic smp#life series#grian#gtws#goodtimeswithscar#gtwscar
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I don't think Jayce and Viktor literally died. They were kind of pulled into another dimension/astral plane/whatever you call it. We see older Viktor, and while it could be another Viktor, I think it would be more meaningful if it was our Viktor, finally free from the arcane, going through the universe with Jayce, fixing timelines together. Kind of like a cosmic mission.
#jayvik#arcane spoilers#arcane season 2#arcane#the yaoi isn't as doomed as it seems#i mean arcane s2 wasn't perfect#and jayvik left me feeling colder than expected#they played a huge role in the end and they barely had screentime this season????#i will always love jayvik tho#otp otp i adore them#jayvik screentime isn't the only issue I have with season 2 tho#the way piltover vs zaun was treated.........#âomg if we work together we can solve our differencesâ what differences tho there was a clear power imbalance and police brutality I'm????#plus jink's âdeathâ was kinda forced and weak?? so last minute??? like I know she isn't actually dead but yeah#and sevika????? where's my wife?????? she did NOTHING on act 3???? did she even talk????#also mel has never been my favourite bc they mainly used her as a plot device and a romantic interest to a male character which suckss#but in s1 she started to show vulnerability in the end??? even early s2??? like girl where is all of that??#that's WAY more interesting than the âtough serious warriorâ character she's become#anyway everything happened too quickly#too much time spent on noxus shit#ooooh i wonder what the next show is going to be about hmmmm#and so many things weren't explained#everything surrounding viktor and the arcane and what happened to jayce and viktor was kinda foggy#also wtf is sky doing there???? it should have been little viktor or something idk#plus where are caitlyn's dictator arc and vi's boxer arc?? they barely lasted???#and maddie should have been more prominent if she was working with ambessa? we barely saw her (or ambessa) manipulate caitlyn#also ambessa's plan wasn't 100% clear either so I'm guessing that plot line (and singed's???) will appear again sometime
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Bungou Stray Dogs: Dead Apple and how âability usersâ (opposite to ânormal peopleâ) learning to accept themselves through the acceptance of their own abilities is a queer metaphor of acceptance of own's sexual orientation and gender: an essay by me
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#About: Dead Apple. Watched this a while ago with a friend and it was a lot of fun!!!#If you're reading this: thank you so much for hanging out with me I had such a good time (ă
ÂŽ Ë )âĄ#Next to general considerations: wow they were right that Bungou Stray Dogs movie sure can Bungou Stray Dogs#It's always nice to see the detailed animation and elaborate backgrounds of movies. The animation quality compared to the manga isâ#definitely noticeable and it's nice to see. That said... I still like the season 2 art style more? And I'm speaking strictly of art style.#The s2 one looks more soft and smooth while the da one is so much more rough.#The plot is... Very bsd-esque I don't think there's anything to add.#In my opinion Kyouka's arc is the one that turned out best tbh. I really like her narrative development and personal growth in this movie.#I like the complexity of her state of mind. how full of contradiction she is. I especially appreciate the recurring small changes ofâ#expression that indicate how she thinks differently from Atsushi even if she doesn't voice them. The fight between her cynicism and herâ#kind nature. It's all very interesting.#Atsushi's development is interesting too. Although all the open questions about his ability we still have kind of leave me frustrated#I don't feel very strongly about Akutagawa in this movie? I meanâ he's there. The ss/kk scenes are always great and in character and a joyâ#to witness no matter what they do. He just doesn't shine particularly? Or at least personally I dont find the âproving my strength againstâ#myselfâ narrative arc to be particularly interesting. Imo it was a lot better flashed out in the da stage play! With the complexity thatâ#the dialogues with Chuuya added to the character. Dazai attacking him. And especially Aktgw understanding that Rashomon wasn't testing Aktg#but rather only expressing that unstoppable rage that is also Aktgw's own. About that I checked out the play and I really liked it!!#I only watched highlights (aka: ss/kk and chuu/aku scenes) but there's some stuff I really like. I like the conflict between Aktgw andâ#Chuuya and how Chuuya messes up with Aktgw at first maliciously and then amiably. It's interesting how Atsushi himself observes that Kyouka#and Akutagawa get along. And especially the sskk almost-handholding and Atsushi saying Akutagawa has a nice profile were cute akjdhbsawhjb#Next. Da really is shipping paradise (â„ïčâ„) Sorry but... It is. oda/zai. daz/atsu. ss/kk. s/kk. fuku/mori. chuu/aku. It really has everythin#and the moments are so good!!!! What else. Wish we'd see more of Tsujimura. And Christie. And women in general tbh.#Alsoâââââ Atsushi's tiger form in this movie is ATROCIOUS. I've said it before but it's crazy how a franchises that relies so heavily onâ#fanservice came up with something this hideous. Man the movie overall was pretty but Atsushi sure wasn't. Firmly stand by the beliefâ#that only Akutagawa would find that form attractive.#Oh last note. honestly if we're ready to accept a movie where an antidote has effect AFTER the person has effectively died then we reallyâ#can't complain about any kind of insanity the manga brings up#random rambles
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Honestly I love people who ship twilight princess zelink. They saw like two cutscenes with them together and went "they should kiss"
#and they were right#tp zelink#zelink#legend of zelda#rambles from the floor#I only half ship it tbh#for me its about the POTENTIAL#there's so many ways you can explore their dynamic#whether you make it romantic or not#it's interesting#their few canon interactions only makes it more fun to play with#so many options#I like what it CAN be
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AND I MET THE CHANGE GOD TOO. OKAY. COOL OKAY
#I WASNT EVEN MEANING TO SO I ACCIDENTALLY SKIPPED THE DIALOGUE BEFORE I KNEW WHAT WAS HAPPENING FUCK#ill go and find it later if only to give myself peace of mind. BUT WOW. WHAT THE FUCK#my original plan was to 1) work my way to the king and talk to him 2) doom myself and take everyone down with me 3) loop back to floor 3#so i can visit the observatory and scrounge for any lore. although since i got killed that run siffrin asked the king to kill him first#which was intereresting. but i decided to have all doors unlocked that time around so i can just get the starcrest and go#but for some reason it wasnt working so i went to get the keyknife since i was already there and completely forgot i already had it#from the previous loop and THATS what triggered it. IT WAS FUNNY BUT ALSO SCARY BUT ALSO I THINK I GET WHAT THEY MEAN#about siffrin going back without actually changing. going along with a script even if his feelings on things change#the same way he has his own small rituals like the carving thing and does it for constancy. reassurance or safety even#and the times when he breaks script and ends horribly like the sadness attacking thing and bonnie yelling at him cause him to loop#to avoid it. although i cant really say anything bc id probably do the same thing. maybe not for the same reasons since im cruel#and make him do the worst to see what will happen since i put curiosity over rejection sensitivity as an observer and player but well.#i feel wrongfooted bringing it up since i dont have it myself but i have to wonder if this kind of leans into ocd tendencies.. i remember#reading something about how ocd is fuelled by fear. and things like counting and rituals are kind of used to cope with that?#if anyone knows anything more or talked abt it already id be really interested in hearing it bc im almost sure im not#the first to come to this conclusion. but i simply dont know enough nor have the confidence to broach the topic rn esp with how often#misconceptions around ocd get casually passed around so its hard for me to know what is and isnt a baseless assumption#puppy plays isat#in stars and time#isat#playthru#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#isat act 3 spoilers#change god#WHAT WAS THAT WITH WEARING LOOPS FACE THOUGH WHAT THE FUCKKK
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Me, going to Critical role tag to see Predathos arts and theories (and also parallelisms to the Collector):
Also me, finding only hatred and people complaining:
#predathos#like... can we chill a little?#i guess it's me but some comments sound pretty nasty#also they are playing a game and the fact that they are not heroes it's the entire plot of bell's hells#literally none of them wanted to be there#they were forced to and had to choose#and they didn't want to because there's no right choice this time#it's much more complex#it's not like Vecna#where there was only one possible good outcome#here there's none#every possibility is going to be bad for someone#and that's what makes it interesting in my opinion#they are acting as humans and humans hate taking decisions like this#and act recklessly and stupid#but try their best because that's the only think they can do#like if you don't like it#it's fine#however it doesn't mean they are bad at their game#they are acting in a stupid way because they are not heroes#and they are not powerful as VM or M9#my point is just stop being mean#it's not like you cannot dislike it just stop saying that your point is the only valid#because bell's hells journey is just as interesting as the others but it's different#like i would never expect them to act just as the other teams they are different people and if you don't like it okay#but they are not badly 'written' characters#critical role#critical role spoilers#cr 3x118#critical role 3x118
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I'm sorry, I've been trying so hard to accept Izuku becoming a UA teacher but I just can't. I love Horikoshi for the happiness he and his story have brought me over the years, but Izuku being a teacher is just bugging me so hard. I know he'd be an incredible teacher, I'm not arguing against that. But beyond the fact that I think Izuku himself would want to at least stay in the hero industry, I don't think there's any chance Katsuki would've let him give up on being a hero.
I think that's why Horikoshi at least made it a point in canon to emphasize that Katsuki especially was behind funding Izuku's hero suit. Because he of all people could not let Deku go. He needed him to be a hero. And I appreciate that we at least see that much in canon. But honestly I think Katsuki would've stepped in sooner than 8 years later and never would have let Izuku give up on being a hero in the first place.
I don't know at what point Izuku gave up on being a pro hero and started looking at other career options, but whenever it happened, I just know he must have spoken to Katsuki about it. Izuku, unreliable narrator that he is, probably fooled even himself into thinking that he's okay with it. That he's blessed to have lived his dream as long as he did. That his time is over. But Katsuki would've shut that shit right down.
Kacchan Bakugou did not watch Izuku spend 10+ years wanting nothing more than to be a hero, while quirkless, just to then watch him give up on being a hero because he lost his quirk. He would've called bullshit on that immediately.
Katsuki knows Izuku intimately. He knows how badly Izuku needs to be a hero. Being quirkless never stopped Izuku from wanting to be a hero before. There's no reason it should stop him now. And he'd say as much. Ain't no way he'd let Izuku give up on being a hero just because he lost OFA.
#bnha manga spoilers#bakudeku#bkdk#bnha 430#Get out those fucking notebooks of yoursâ Izuku. I know you have plenty of shit written down about support items for a quirkless hero.#katsuki has seen Izuku be quirkless and still want to be a hero so he knows something's wrong here#why doesn't he want to be a hero anymore? what's stopping him?#is there guilt at play here? something to do with not being able to save shigaraki?#or did Izuku become so attached to OFA that he doesn't know who he is without it anymore? doesn't think he can be a hero without it?#he needs Katsuki to remind him of who he was before OFA. of the quirkless boy who wanted to be a hero.#i think what's bugging me so much is that izuku had never shown any interest in being a teacher#if he had wanted to be a teacher since before the war then yesâ I'd be happy for him and so so proud#good on him for deciding that he wants to help shape the next generation through teaching and whatnot.#maybe he realized that he can inspire others through ways not involving beating villains and stuff#but you cannot tell me he wouldve ended up a teacher had he kept OFA#the only reason he became a teacher is because he lost OFA. he never would've done it otherwise. he would've become a pro hero#that's why it feels like a loss to me. because it's a back up plan. not his true goal.
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giggling kicking my feet blushing madly
#fun fact it did indeed take me until the literal end of railway to actually invest anything into train defenses.#both bc of the scoundrel's stupid railway board comp and also bc i wanted luxuries first#i only upgraded it because i realized it was what scales dangerous checks when traveling along the railway.#the scoundrel LITERALLY only invested in safety measures out of its own self interest#yin-thoughts#fallen london#technically speaking sometimes there's choices too cruel even for me and i do indeed go the heroic route#that's why the scoundrel has an occasional (admittedly usually actively dying) sense of empathy/remorse#it's all so i can (rp-wise) justify being a stupid soft rpg player in a playthrough that's otherwise pretty much purely a villain run#like at the end of evolution with the naturalist. if the scoundrel had control over their own account they'd go hanged man#but bc i got attached to him it's just scoundrel lore that they're a guy who sucks and occasionally does one (1) good thing per month#before immediately going back to being evil#they've really evolved over the course of me playing FL. it's been a delight to play and hopefully a delight for yall to witness#scoundrelventures
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I'm drawing rn but I just wanna say. I feel we jayvik nation haven't truly tapped into the potential of their tickle antics being DIRECTLY correlated with them falling in love
#im calling a conference hey team we're doing fantastic i have some ideas. what if we made it way gayer#tickles? awesome. kisses? great? tickles and kisses??? exaaaaactly#maybe im just a fucking tickle freak but if I was crushing on my lab partner HARD...#and he starts playing with me with such an unmatched fondness and adoration#love in his eyes. blush on his cheeks#i would kiss the everloving fuck outta him#note: this isnt me saying tickles cant be platonic ooooobviously however these two are making out in the lab#worm rambles#actually small elaboration#tickles would directly influence them falling in love for two BIG reasons:#1. Jayce is alllll about touch. touch has been shown as his big love language throughout the show. he knows Viktor isnt big on touch...#but V allows Jayce to touch him more than anyone else. he trusts Jayce to connect with him in that way. this means so so so much to Jayce.#ie being able to tickle Viktor and be tickled BY Viktor is a huge huge symbol of love and trust for Jayce.#aside from his blatant tickle interest. Jayce is so SMITTEN by Viktor letting him play with him and be that intimate bc Jayce is puppy dog#and full of sm love#2. Viktor has NOT had good experience with touch and vulnerability. having someone like Jayce who not only takes it slow...#but also allows V to re-experience those things and warm up to it#means so...so much to Viktor#Jayce doesnt make him feel small or weak or broken when he plays with him like a child#he makes him feel...loved. beautiful#only Jayce can do this
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Realized this while playing Birushana. Tomomori. You know.
#birushana#birushana rising flower of genpei#otome#wizardess heart#shall we date#blanking on what other morally controversial otome games ive played#but seriously that trope of âim lowkey obsessed with the heroine and even seeing the hate in her eyes as she looks at me is perfect.â#to âi would love to see what other expressions i could bring her to make-â#ALL the way to the final installment of âoh. when she smiles.. when shes happy.. and looks at me with such happiness?#that is the best expression she has ever made. she looks beautiful like that... everything else pales in comparison- no.#i actually dont care to see her tears or to have her look at me in anger ever again.â#and just. falling in love with her happiness and doing everything they can to make her smile and laugh among other things??#because they feel really good doing it??#sorry i know thats common with villain love interests but im REALLY a sucker for it okay i cant help it#but also no seriously what other games like this have i played again?? i havent played any of the villain routes in hakuouki yet#but i feel like this trope is probably in there so.#hakuouki#JUST THE LOOK OF SURPRISE ON THE LOVE INTEREST'S FACE WHEN THEY SEE THE PROTAG SMILE AT THEM FOR THE FIRST TIME#AFTER ONLY EVER PREVIOUSLY SHOWING FEAR OR HATE#I LOVE IT AAUUUGHHH#oh!! thats right!#steam prison#paradigm paradox#piofiore#BECAUSE YANG I FUVKING LOVE YANG EVEN THOUGH HES AWFUL UGH#even if tempest#ill tag that in here too bc Tyril was that way for a hot second in the beginning of his route/timeline when he was first meeting Anastasia#i definitely know theres more but damn#anyway#we support character development in this house
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oh im obsessed with this actually⊠who ever wrote this one i am kissing u on the forehead and hugging you real tight⊠inigo is such a loverboy im kkkhhhhhhijnsdnfng
#ann plays awakening#EDITING TO SAY I STARTED TAG VENTING HIT READMORE AT YOUR OWN RISK#anyways#LAST LINE IS A KILLERRRR WOW#âann werent you just pairing olivia with tharââ OLIVIA IS A BUSY WOMAN OKAY#but also i just had this old save file from when i wanted to see pink inigo and decided to get some more supports#im obsessed actually like#ok tag venting time maybe this should be its own post but u guys know who i am#not only does this support in my very educated opinion do a good job at emulating inigoâs way of speaking#but i think theres also a very underrated characteristic he has that not a lot of people talk about and its that hes honestly quite morbid#him spending hours talking to and dancing with his motherâs grave is very beautiful and moving but it is also not a normal way to grieve#which makes sense because duh nothing about his life is normal but its j like. you know#if robin is his father (and maybe j the normal convo i dont remember) in the hot springs scramble heâll insist upon bringingâ#severed risen limbs home as a way to remember the peacefulness (lol) of the springs#and he thinks absolutely nothing of it!!#i think he gets attached to things just a little too intensely and because his life is surrounded by death how he expresses that can be#very interesting. and he talks about death all time more than the other kids#bc while a lot of their coping mechanisms are based in fear and the need to instill confidence in themselves (think cyn or gerome or owain#or sev or yarne or noire)#and how their SCARED of death and of loss and adapt different behaviors to act like theyre not (to varying degrees of success)#i think inigo is much more accepting of the fact that death follows him and has made it a normal presence in his life#which is not a good thing it means that he hasnt let himself grieve. he lets death hang over him and follow him instead of pushing back#also guess which one of the awakening trio in fates has the canonical story death. just by the way lmao#anyways bc im writing this in the tags on my phone i cant actually see what the hell ive been saying im j stream of consciousnessing this#but my point is that inigo has a weird fixation on death and dying that stems from his inability to make peace with death and grieve#and i think him idolizing death in this support (this BRILLIANT fan support that made me ill) is so in character and so lovely#i miss him so bad (hes literally in the photos im posting) grghhhrgah#i wuv him :(
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Itâs justâŠso painful to watch Armand readily submit in order to obtain the love he so desperately craves. And while itâs most assuredly a manipulative tactic, itâs still one borne out of fear and desperation. He cannot lose this person heâs come to love and so will become whatever they want, do whatever they want just so theyâll stay with him. But it wonât be enough. No matter how much he acquiesces or seeks to control (himself, others, the environment), he wonât be able to make Louis stay with him in the perfect life, perfect self he built in the hopes of finally being loved. It will all crumble with Armand left alone in the rubble of what he created, the author of his own abandonment.
#this unfortunately hits way too close to home for me#letâs not even get into Claudiaâs anger at never being enough#iwtv spoilers#interview with the vampire#armand#this is just me speaking from personal experienceâŠbut there is definite manipulation at play here from Armand#and I donât necessarily mean that pejoratively- when youâre desperate for people to like/love you youâll become whatever they want#or whatever you think theyâd want and you give it to them so theyâll want to keep you around#Iâve done it so often with the people in my life- and make no mistake itâs also a survival tactic#you give someone what they want they wonât hurt you#and when thatâs how you survive for years and years it becomes the default method of interacting with others#even with normal people who genuinely mean you no harm you revert to that people pleasing mode#as a means of control both external and internal#this is what i see armand doing- his way of surviving that heâs never truly broken out of#armand ceding coven control to Louis and curating the Dubai penthouse for Louis are part of the same pattern of behavior#and even tho itâs ultimately harmful and will only end badly for armand and Louisâ relationship#idk if armand knows how to not exist that way with someone he loves/desires#all of this also ties into louis and daniel#because of course Armand will lose it over Louis finding connection and interest with someone else aside from him#someone HUMAN no less#and I can see Armand taking out his anger on Daniel as a way of expressing his own frustration at still not being enough for Louis#breaking danielâs mind in a desperate attempt to understand why this human could reach Louis in ways he couldnât#not saying any of this to excuse Armand and his behavior obviously (Iâm very upset and worried over the trial looming on the horizon)#but I do understand this impulse and how youâll throw ANYONE under the bus in order to preserve your place with loved ones#itâs all horrifying but unfortunately I empathize#like even if Louis is right to walk out on him when he learns/remembers the truth of what happened to Claudia#Iâll probably still find myself saddened by Armandâs fate because Iâve absolutely been there myself#itâs a tragedy of his own making- his fear and desperation birthing manipulative and controlling behaviors#that ultimately result in your own abandonment#god this fucking show
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finally delivering on the princess tutu headshots i promised... love these dysfunctional teens đ©°đđ
LOTS of notes about headcanons/design choices under the cut! like. a lot. dont say i didnt warn you
starting with my specialest guy fakir:
i had a suuuper clear vision for fakir, and i couldnt be happier with how he turned out, he looks exactly how i imagine him! trying to translate his Bird-Shaped Hair into my style gave me SERIOUS homestuck flashbacks. my affinity for knights with Problems knows no bounds...
adding the hyperpigmentation around his eyes and his acne scars is what really solidified this for me-- i put those in and was like oh!!! there you are!!! my boy!!! and you can tell because i gave him acne scars + thick eyebrows that he IS my boy... there are very clear trends among my headcanons for my faves lol. big noses, thick eyebrows, skin imperfections, heavy eyebags, long dark hair... and fakir truly has it all đ€ he is so Ideal Character Design to me
i think fakir is actually pretty self-conscious about his appearance tho! we see characters like pike and lilie say hes handsome to ahiru, but i dont know how often he actually hears that? and im sure its hard not to compare himself to mytho, who is straight out of a fairy tale; being a regular teenager dealing with regular teen body stuff is hard enough without your roommate being a magically beautiful eternally youthful storybook hero. i think he probably internalises more that people see him as scary and angry, and that the girls who do have crushes on him always frame it in contrast to mytho, who is Good and Kind and Handsome, implying (or sometimes outright stating!) that fakir is Bad and Mean and... Well...
fakir is very sensitive but quiet about it, so i think its a very private point of self-consciousness. i think he puts a lot of semi-secret effort into his appearance; canonically he has a lot of very funny and clearly customised clothing, and he chooses to keep his hair long and in a very particular style (i have a whole breakdown in my mind of how he achieves that style and it involves a surprising amount of pins and an unsurprising fuckton of teasing. i think his hair is a little fried from heat damage!), and i think that probably extends to other things, too, like manicuring his eyebrows and doing a lot of very Teenage Skincare that doesnt actually help his acne much lol. i think he probably has a lot of self-injurious habits and BFRBs like skin picking and chewing, mostly at his acne and around his nails (both of which he hates, because he knows he shouldnt but does it anyway). i think if he does it enough that theres noticeable evidence it feels, like, world-ending for him, ESPECIALLY if anyone asks what happened lol. do not perceive him except in the very specific ways and contexts he approves of THANKS
on to the narratives favorite princess, mytho:
again, i had a pretty clear idea of the vibe i wanted mytho to have going into this-- i want him to have, like, extreme prince charming vibes, very Classically Handsome without necessarily being 'conventional.' i thought a lot about 'the happy prince' story while i was working on this, and really wanted him to look like a cross between how the prince statue looks in my head and a porcelain doll. and also a cross between jonny brown and brigitte bardot? lots of very direct influences for him lol. so! lots of gold tones, gemmy eye color, cute little tooth gap, quivering wide-eyed thousand-yard-stare doe eyes and big ol dolly anime lashes, which were the very last thing i added because i was NERVOUS about pulling those off lol. they turned out cute tho! ive only done a handful of pieces for this series and i can already tell princess tutu is gonna make me up my lash drawing game considerably, these kids all look like they blink and cause a hurricane from the gale force wind of their falsies
also wait i lied the very last thing i did was add his freckles/beauty marks because he needed that little extra oomph and those were It. i think he probably has some on his hands/wrists too đ
i was a little unsure if my idea for his hair would translate with this flat-color approach but im pretty happy with it! its supposed to be afrotextured hair (somewhere between 3b and 4c i think? wide range of potential i knowww but im still kind of hammering out my headcanons okay, this is exploratory lol) thats been rolled and finger-styled into his little feather shapes. i think loose, chunky twists would be another fun way to interpret his hair and twists are one of my fave styles to draw do i might draw him like that at some point too...
i guess fakir is the one who styles his hair for him before mytho gets his heart back? i imagine fakir is pretty meticulous about maintaining mythos health and appearance, even at the worst stages of their relationship. i think itd be hard for fakir to frame the way he treats mytho as For Mythos Sake if he wasnt doing some level of actually beneficial care for him, so being really fastidious about things like mythos diet and sleep hygiene and hair care and such gives fakir an outlet for his 'you just have to do what i tell you' thing that helps him convince himself it really is helping, no really, hes doing this for mythos benefit and he just has to be strict with him because mytho doesnt UNDERSTAND he needs PROTECTING and fakir is the ONLY ONE who can do it so mytho HAS to let him because if he doesnt then why does fakir even EXIST, if he cant manage this then what is he good for, and--
yknow. the usual complexes. and their relationship is so complex!!! but also so simple, but like. in a good way. fakirs behavior is complicated but his motivation regarding mytho is SO straightforward which makes that downward spiral into harm really easy to map out... i wont go much into that in this post since this is about visual/appearance-related headcanons but just. augh. i love this show and i love these characters!!! and i hope its apparent in my work that i do love them so <3
im hoping to do a set of these for the girls next!!! i have some other stuff to finish first but hopefully... Soon... Some Birds...
#princess tutu#fakir#mytho#prince siegfried#my art#i had sooo much fun playing around with style in these... the super strong white highlights + underpainting combo looks SO lovely#i should take this approach more often i almost never do!!! it rules and is fun to do#i was listening to my fakir playlist nonstop for DAYS while working on this and still intermittently since...#it feels like ive been sitting on these for a month but its only been 5 days omg. crazy... good to know tho#anyway i love themmm theyre everything. SO fun to draw i really hope i can do more art of them. i Want To... i have Ideas >:o)#btw is putting notes on my thoughts under a cut like this interesting for yall? its fun for me but idk if yall wanna read all that#i will probably continue regardless bc i love to hear myself talk esp abt my design choices but#im curious if my notes on my thought process are interesting to anyone else#if not oh well! thats what the cut is for đ€ nobodys gotta read it if they dont wanna im doing this for Me#full color
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