new year's day
actor eren x f!reader
**part of my method acting fic, masterlist here
content: reader mentions insecurity, connie and reiner teasing you, smooching, levi being a dad for ten minutes straight, sukuna cameo
an: I MISSED YOU POOKIES SO MUCH. SO SO MUCH. war (my 9-5) is over. this ended up at 9k, I hope it can compensate for the wait. ALSO VERY IMPORTANT WE'VE REACHED OUR FIRST TAYLOR SONG OF THE FIC. you can listen to new year's day from reputation before reading - it'll make the end part make more sense <3 (me furthering my turning people into swifties agenda, I saw her last night and my brain chemistry changed)
previous part linked here
--
“Go outside and look at the moon.”
“No. I’m really comfortable in my bed.”
“Oh, come on Y/N. Just go outside.”
You grumble some nice profanities at Eren over the phone as you shuffle out of your sheets, pushing open your window to stick your head out. The breeze in the air is cold, the frigid atmosphere invading your already freezing room.
Erwin won’t justify turning on the heater. There are only four people in the townhouse right now - you, Levi, Hange, and Erwin (which is totally not your worst nightmare) - and apparently, that doesn’t justify heater use at all. Luckily enough, Eren and his very convincing angry face will arrive tomorrow to save you from your eternal winter.
“S’cold, Jaeger.”
“Yeah, yeah. Do you see the moon?”
You crane your head up, twisting back in the window to look at it. A small crescent pressed against the sky, just slightly hidden beneath the clouds.
“Yes, Eren. I see the moon.”
“Okay. Now look to your right.”
“Are we playing Simon Says?”
“STOP SASSING ME AND JUST DO IT.”
You’re thrown off by the irritation in his voice, and you turn over, peeking your head entirely out to look to the right.
“Very exciting views, Eren. It’s literally pitch black.”
You don’t see much, just the tandem bike you set out for tomorrow - when Eren would be here and not berating you through the phone - and the small patch of flowers that are by the front door.
“I meant your other right, Y/N.”
You shift your head to the left and see Eren standing there, his green hoodie pulled over his head and a cheeky smile pressed into his face.
You drop your phone flat on the floor, running (falling) down the steps out into the cold air, your socks against the cold pavement as you run out to greet him.
He’s already holding his arms open, which you run into, as you burrow your face into his shoulder, his warm arms squeezing around your frame and his laugh in your ears.
“You were supposed to come tomorrow, Eren.”
“And yet I’m here today, Y/N.”
“Shut up. You know what I meant.”
“Flight got moved up. And maybe I just wanted some time in the house where it’s just you and me - you know, without Mikasa interrupting us every two seconds.”
You laugh as you and Eren sling your arms around each other’s shoulders, trudging out of the cold and into the kitchen.
Before you can even mention it, Eren’s pulling out two bowls, and you’re grabbing the ramen packets, the two of you leaning against the counter as you watch the water boil. As excited as you are to see him and actually to be near him, there isn’t really much to talk about.
You guys literally talk every single day.
“How’s the song coming?”
You groan, leaning into his shoulder as he laughs, his hand coming around your shoulder to rest in your hair. But it’s better. Because you can see him with your own eyes, hear him with your own ears, feel him with your own hands.
“Bad. I’m never going to finish it.”
“You’ll finish it. Plus, Armin’s coming soon, and he knows how to rhyme and stuff.”
“That’s not the problem. I feel like the lyrics work when I can figure out the backing tracks and the music. But I keep getting tangled up because I can’t figure out the piano.”
He reaches forward, opening the packets of noodles and dipping them into the water as you start chopping up the vegetables on the side.
“I play piano, Y/N. I can help you if you want.”
“No. That would just be more embarrassing. I get super frustrated when I’m writing. It would be infinitely worse if you were there watching me fail.”
He rolls his eyes as he takes the knife from your hand, lightly pushing you to the side to watch the noodles.
“You’re not going to fail. Let me help you. No one gets a hit on the first try, stupid.”
“Don’t call me stupid, idiot.”
“My bad, dumbass.”
“Language, Eren,” Levi says from behind you two.
You watch a smile spread across Eren’s face as he moves, running past the side of the counter to give Erwin, Hange, and a now-annoyed Levi a hug. Hange and Erwin are ruffling his hair, Hange cooing about how their little stars are back together again.
Eren joins you again at your side as you're dishing out the food, Erwin pulling out a stack of papers as you and Eren start eating at the counter.
“Business.”
“Go ahead, Erwin.” Eren says, handing you the hot sauce before you can even reach for it.
“So. Final scripts. As you’ll see, there aren't too many big scenes for you this season. It’s mostly focusing on this whole Utgard Castle arc, which you’re both not in.” Erwin explains.
“Okay, that’s-” you say.
“That doesn’t mean you both can slack off. There are more scenes for the rest of them because we need you two to nail the scenes you are in. Eren - this whole Colossal Titan reveal, you need to put everything you’ve got into it. If you think I’ve pushed you hard before, you’re in for a whole different playing field this season.” Levi says, glaring at Eren.
You watch Eren roll his eyes, grumbling under his breath as he agrees and starts flipping through the script.
“And you too, Y/N. This whole “Thank You” scene at the end - the majority of the dialogue falls on you. But you need to deliver in all ways. You better be acting with your eyes, your mind, your entire being. This is the type of scene you both could get nominated for as awards that’ll get you more roles. Take it seriously.” Levi continues.
At the mention of awards, you and Eren both perk your ears up, flipping to the end of the script to the scenes tabbed at the ends with your name on it. You quickly run your eyes through the scene and the staging and feel your throat constrict at the staging lines right in the middle, bolded.
Y/N leans forward, grabs Eren by the collar, and presses the softest kiss to his lips. It’s not overly passionate or sensational, but to the two of them, it’s a simple message. One they’ve known all along, maybe since they first met - in that cabin all those years ago.
I know how you feel. You don’t have to say it.
You feel your eyes widen as you look up at Hange and Levi, the words spilling out of your mouth.
“You want us to kiss?”
“Huh?”
At your words, Eren’s leaning over into your space, reading the line marked, and suddenly your cheeks are both burning pink. You both give each other a glance, which only makes it more awkward, as you shuffle as far away from each other as possible.
“Yeah. It’ll fit the scene. It’s just one kiss, maybe two if we don’t get it on the first take.” Hange says nonchalantly as they start flipping through the rest of the highlighted script.
As Erwin, Hange, and Levi start milling through their own conversations - discussing sets, costumes, that scene - you squeak out something that stops them in their tracks.
“I’ve never kissed anyone before.”
Hange’s eyes light up as they nearly jump to your side, taking your cheeks into their hands and teasing you. They flip you around so you’re facing Eren, which you’ve been avoiding this entire time, and start whispering into your ear.
“Aw, isn’t he so sweet? It’ll be so nice to have your first kiss with your best friend, someone you trust.”
“Uh, I-”
“Cmon. Eren won’t bite now, will he?”
Eren awkwardly pads to the other side of the room, shoving his face into his script, as Levi comes over and yanks Hange by the hair, muttering something about how they need to stop teasing you.
“Another thing. While they’re filming the Utgard Castle scenes, you’re both not really in, you’re both going on a press junket. We’ll all be there as well.”
“The rest of the cast too?”
“No, just you two, Eren. They’re all going to finish filming so we can maximize time and all that. You’ll return on New Year’s Day to film that last scene.”
“Can we come back earlier? Y/N’s birthday is on New Year’s Eve. She should be here to celebrate with everyone and not on a stuffy plane.”
“Fine. You’ll come back that day. And then the scene is the day after.”
Hange, Erwin, and Levi give the two of you a curt nod as they pad back upstairs, leaving you, Eren, and your two bowls of ramen in the kitchen. You and Eren take the bowls and place them on the table, eating silently.
It’s still hanging in your mind. In a little less than a month, you’re going to be kissing Eren.
“Y/N.”
“Yeah, Eren?”
“I haven’t kissed anyone either.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“I just mean, it doesn’t have to be awkward. We’ll just…figure it out together. And it’s you and me, so it won’t be weird.”
You smile, watching the last of your noodles swirl around the bowl as his words seep into your head. Right. It is just you and Eren. You’re best friends. It’s just one kiss. Or maybe two. It’s not a big deal.
“Yeah. You and me, Eren.”
He smiles in response, the awkwardness lifting off of you as you both finish eating.
-
The second Connie, Reiner, and Ymir make it back on set, their incessant teasing starts. They read the scripts. Kissy faces, smooching sounds, purposely pushing you and Eren into corners together just so they can tease you.
“Eren. Are you excited to kiss, Y/N?”
“Shut up, Connie.”
“Is this your first kiss together? You must be sooo excited, Y/N.”
“Okay, Reiner. Are you excited for your weird pervert lines about Historia?”
The entire room laughs, Historia and Mikasa coming over to yank you out of the corner and sit at the table with them as you all catch up. Armin’s going around - taking pictures of everyone for our first day of filming with his Polaroid - as he starts labeling them all.
There’s one of Reiner and Bertholdt - in their iconic fists to each other’s back poses - labeled “pervert and giraffe” by Connie.
Another one of Sasha sleeping face first on the table from her jet lag while Connie and Jean are spraying whipped cream into her hair, labeled “connie springer, ultimate menace”
And another one of you and Eren, fist-bumping each other, labeled “l/n-jaegers, season two”
Connie films his first incriminating video ten minutes after that. It's Eren tucking your hair behind your ear.
-
You yank your earphones out as you crunch the pebbles under your feet, rubbing the sleepiness from your eyes. When Armin walks up next to you, he’s immediately leaning his head on your shoulder, his eyes sleepily shut as you wait for everyone else to join.
It’s five in the morning. And you really, really hate Hange for this.
You’re all supposed to be filming a scene two hours away, in the snowcaps. It’s meant to be a flashback scene, primarily for Ymir and Historia, which is why you’re pissed that you had to wake up this early anyways. The light is barely peeking into the sky, the hues still a dark navy as everyone strolls out of the townhouse.
Jean’s grumbling profanities, Mikasa’s dragging Connie out, and Sasha's the only one who’s really awake. Erwin slides open the bus door, and you trudge in, sliding into the first seat.
You're leaning your head against the glass, ice cold, as you try to flutter your eyes closed again to rest a little bit on the drive over. You feel a shifting in the seat next to you and two hands on your head, moving you through space.
You peek your eyes open to find Eren, placing your forehead against his shoulder instead of the glass.
“Huh, what-”
“Sorry, Y/N. Didn’t mean to wake you. Just figured it would be more comfortable this way.” he whispers, lightly pulling the hood of your jacket back over your head.
You nestle more into his shoulder, letting the weight of your head fall entirely onto his shoulder as he readjusts under you, his arm splayed across your back. You feel his head resting on top of yours, your breaths in tandem as you both shut your eyes and drift off to a very unrestful and bumpy sleep.
You wake up two hours later to the flash of a camera. And when you open your eyes, Armin and Connie are smirking at you, holding up the Polaroid of you and Eren sleeping in front of your face and then running out the bus.
You frown as you rub your eye sockets with your knuckles, readjusting your hair and cracking out your neck.
"Fuck Erwin for getting Armin that camera."
“I really hope they’re not there when we have to kiss each other, Eren. They’re never going to let us hear the end of it.”
“You and me both.”
He holds his hand out, helping you up from the chair as you both pull on your jackets and join everyone else in the snow.
“Sleep well?”
You and Eren turn your heads to find Marco standing beside you, a shy smile on his face. You and Eren both reach forward, pulling your arms around him as you start talking at the same time, shocked at his presence.
“Marco. What the fuck? What are you doing-”
“You didn’t even tell us you were coming! That’s so messed up. You bitch.”
He pulls back, a hand resting on both of your shoulders as he smiles, the look soft.
“Sorry, guys. I wanted it to be a surprise. I’ll be here after you’re back from the press junket, too, Y/N. For your birthday.”
You smile at him, giving him one more hug as he ruffles your hair, the two of you linking arms as you wait to film the scene at hand. After you film the aforementioned extremely short scene - which just makes you more aggravated at Levi and Hange because why the hell did you have to come out here for that - the lot of you head into the cabin, peeling off your snow coats and settling into the seats.
Armin and Eren settle at the window, the two of them teaching each other card tricks while Bertholdt follows Sasha to rummage for snacks. Mikasa and Reiner run off to explore the upper level of the cabin as you and Marco sit flat against the wall, watching everyone walk around.
“How are you, Y/N?”
“Okay, Marco. How are you?”
“I meant. Regarding everything we talked about last time and all that.”
“Oh. Right.”
The last time you saw Marco was when he came to visit you and stay with your family for a week. It was an impromptu trip after you mentioned to him that things weren’t going so great. Granted, he was only an hour away from filming a short film and had the time to spare, but it still meant the world.
He places a hand on the top of your knee as you look over at Eren, his eyebrows scrunched in concentration as he starts talking.
“You doing okay? Seriously?” he asks.
“It feels better when I’m here. With you guys. Especially you, now that you’re here. I feel most normal here and wildly out of place when I’m home.”
He sighs, squeezing your knee as you watch Eren place his card down, a victorious screech leaving his mouth as Armin rolls his eyes.
“I can’t say I understand. We all went to the SHWA when we were so little, and I guess there was always some understanding that we’d be…in the spotlight. Scrutinized. No grocery stores or going to the beach, or any of that. Those things wouldn’t be normal. There was really no…normal to go back to.”
You reach down, holding his hand, as you tilt your head back on the wall.
“I don’t know. It’s weird. Sometimes it feels like I can’t even be normal without people picking apart everything I do. I knew this was something I wanted badly but never figured it would be like this.”
“Yeah. I know the feeling.” he responds.
Eren looks over from his spot on the windowsill, eyebrows scrunched together in frustration now as he mouths the words.
You okay?
You nod, albeit halfheartedly, as Marco pulls you up, the two of you scooting into the kitchen.
“Did you tell him about any of this?”
“No.”
“Don’t be silly, Y/N. The first thing they say at the SHWA is to rely on the people around you. The ones who understand.”
“I do rely on the people around me. I’m talking to you right now.”
He reaches forward to flick your forehead, the spot stinging.
“Ouch, asshole.”
“I’m not a series regular anymore. And he’s the person you should tell. He’d want to know.”
You roll your eyes at him as Sasha comes up, splitting half of her chocolate bar with you. Armin and Eren amble in a little while later, the lot of you all standing in the kitchen, watching Connie shove as many marshmallows as he can into Reiner’s mouth.
Armin takes a picture. Labels it “chubby bunny gone wrong” when Reiner’s choking over the sink.
-
The press junket is insane. You and Eren are spending three days, all at the same convention, doing panels together. All while trying to memorize the lines for your kiss scene. Levi and Erwin said to meet as many people as the two of you could socialize as much as you can. Answer questions about the show for fans without letting Eren spoil the show.
The first interview was a get-to-know-the-actors test. You and Eren are tasked with asking each other simple questions and talking about them. It should be easy. As the camera beeps red for recording, Eren turns to the side and starts.
“My name is Eren Jaeger, and I’m one of the cast members of Attack on Titan.”
“And I’m Y/N L/N, and I’m also from the cast of Attack on Titan. We’re going to be doing an interview today for you to get to know us better!”
Eren leans forward, giving you a warm smile as you talk. He reaches forward, reading off the question on the first card.
“Y/N. Did you take anything home from the set?”
You turn to the side, making a fake warning face into the camera.
“Levi, if you’re watching, stop.”
Eren laughs as you turn back to him, trying to ignore the lights blaring in your eyes.
“Um. I totally accidentally took one of the scarves home. But that was an accident. Did you take anything?”
“I stole one of Armin’s polaroids from the wall. I keep it in my wallet. And I totally stole one of the ODM gear swords.”
“Huh? What do you even do with that?”
“Threaten my brother.”
“Oh my god, Eren. Jesus. Which polaroid did you take?”
“I have it, actually.”
Eren smiles at you as he yanks his wallet out of his pocket, handing the shiny white Polaroid over. You smile as you remember the day, the picture being of you and Eren with your ramen bowls. Armin’s inscription says, “sosuke and ponyo.” You hold it up to the camera before handing it back to Eren, making a mental note to steal one of Armin’s Polaroids too.
“Okay, Eren. Your question is…who is the first person you call when you get good news?”
His cheeks turn pink as he pinches the bridge of his nose, rolling his eyes at the camera.
“This is kind of cheesy.”
“Huh, Eren?”
“The person I call is you.”
You smile, twiddling with the end of your braids as you respond.
“My answer is you too.”
He smiles back, the two of you getting through the rest of the questions and thanking the crew team in the filming room. As you and Eren swing out of the door, he pulls the tiny little sheet Levi had made for the two of you out of his pocket, looking where to go next. You’re leaning so close into his space to read the little sheet that you can smell his minty gum, the smell filling your nose.
You’re going to the networking event.
You and Eren slide into the hallway, a big expensive conference room filled with people milling around. Almost everyone is nursing a glass of red wine in their hands, all adults talking over and around you as you both awkwardly stand at the front. You instinctively reach down for Eren’s hand, the two of you locking fingers as you move forward.
You both naturally lean against the wall, watching everyone walk around as you enter the room. All men. Well, almost all men. But from what you can tell, the only other women in the room are actresses - the producers, directors, screenwriters - they’re all men.
“Does it feel weird to you here, Eren?”
“Kind of. I can’t really place what it is, but it doesn’t really feel like we’re allowed to be here.”
You’re both significantly younger than almost everyone in this room. And they’re all drinking. Talking about god knows what. You try to scan the room - looking for Erwin, Hange, or Levi but come out dry from your search. Eren must be sensing your unease because he’s leading you toward the doors, ready to yank the two of you out of the situation.
But before he can, a man stops him, tapping him on the shoulder to talk to him. You both stop in your tracks, half turning around to look at him. He’s extremely tall, looming over the two of you, and you feel infinitely small in front of him. He looks at Eren, a self-assured smile pressed on his face as he introduces himself.
“Scott Clarkson. I’m a producer for Stone Studios.”
“I’m Eren Jaeger. This is-”
“I know who you are, Eren. I was invited to see one of the first cuts of the latest movie you just filmed and-”
Before you can even understand what’s happening, he has his hand on Eren’s shoulder, and they’re walking down the length of the hall, the end of their conversation lost to you. Eren looks back, and you give him a halfhearted smile as he tries to turn back before getting stuck in a larger group of people.
You make your way back against the wall, sliding into one of the farthest chairs and swirling a cup of lemonade in your hands. You watch the pulp of the lemon dissolve into your cup as you aggressively swirl, the drops landing on the black of your skirt.
It’s moments like this where you feel like you don’t belong. Marco’s words swirl through your mind, that this type of stuff is normal for them because they have no normal to return to, but you can’t help but feel other to them even if they are where you feel most comfortable.
Eren’s on the other side of the room, now stuck in a big group and laughing with producers and casting directors and talking about movies he’s filming and what he has lined up next. You’re on the other side of the room, sulking against the wall - you’d be shocked if they even knew who you were.
You’re not jealous of him. If anything, it’s everything Eren deserves and more. He’s always been phenomenal. But that’s just the thing, he’s everything and you’re not even on the same playing field.
Sometimes, it feels like Eren’s too good to be your friend. Your co-star. Someone you’re around. You can feel your knuckles turning white against the plastic of the cup, crushing against your hand.
“You know, if you do that any harder, you’re going to spill it all over yourself. Then I’ll have to take my pants off so you don’t look like an idiot.”
You look up to find Sukuna smiling at you, with Nobara and Maki rolling their eyes at him. You hop up, crushing Nobara and him in a hug and physically feeling the unease untangle in your chest.
“Hi. I’m really glad you’re here I-”
“This shit always sucks. I have no idea why we’re forced to come to these things.” Maki says, sliding into the seat on your left. Sukuna sits to your right, his arm resting across the back of your chair as the four of you whisper, well, more like the three of them explaining who all the producers in the room are, as you sit there.
“Hey Sukuna.”
“Hm, doll?”
“That guy. The one talking to Eren. Who is he?”
He squints his eyes as he cranes around the room, trying to find where you’re pointing at Eren. And when he does, you watch his eyes widen before he talks again.
“Ah. That’s Clarkson. He’s kind of an asshat.”
“What? Why?”
“No, he’s just a dick. A really great producer makes super cool movies, but he’s…not the best. All that shit you hear about the industry running people dry, taking advantage of people. They’re talking about him. And his lot.” Nobara explains, glaring daggers at him.
“Not his entire lot, Nobara. His daughter is fine.” Sukuna says, reaching over to you and Maki to flick her cheek.
“She’s a bitch. You’re just saying that because you’re dating her.” Nobara responds, flicking him back.
“Who's a bitch?”
The four of you break apart, still leaning over each other, to find Eren, Levi, and a short girl with brown hair staring at you.
“No one, Hyla.” Nobara says, grumbling as she and Maki stand up. Levi gets side-swiped into a conversation. He looks like he’d rather be five feet under than whatever he was talking about as the six of you stand up. You hold your hand out, introducing yourself to Hyla.
“Y/N. It’s nice to meet you.”
“Hyla Clarkson. Your dad was the one who acted in Interstellar, right?”
“No. That’s Historia’s dad, but I get the confusion. We’re just from the same show.”
You watch her eyebrows pinch up in confusion as she crosses her hands around her chest.
“Oh! Was your mom the one in Moonrise Kingdom?” she asks.
“Nope. I-”
“So what film were they-”
“My parents are dentists. They’re not really in the industry like that.” you ramble out, trying to spare yourself from any more embarrassment.
She smiles, the expression not meeting her eyes, as she reaches down and links her hand with Sukunas.
“That’s really sweet, actually. Humble beginnings and all that,” she says.
“I think it’s pretty cool. Like yeah, we all land roles because our parents kind of help us get them in some way. But, Y/N worked her way to the lead of the show, sans famous parents. It’s a testament to true talent. ” Eren says, his voice firm.
“I agree. L/N has always been badass, especially on the screen.” Maki says, glaring at Hyla altogether.
She rolls her eyes as she reaches into the pocket of her dress, taking out a shiny silver card and handing it to Eren.
“Eren. This is my dad’s card. He wanted me to give you another one unless you lost it.” Hyla says, giving Eren a hug before she walks away.
You both wait outside for Levi to join you, quietly standing against the wall. You watch Eren turn over the card in his hands before ripping it up, slashing right through Scott Clarkson’s shiny name in the middle.
“That’s a bit harsh, Eren. He’s a really good producer from what I’ve heard,” you say.
“Don’t care. We’ll get there on our own - we don’t need leg-ups from guys like that.”
You smile as you lean your head on Eren’s shoulder, the anxious feeling still tingling in your chest. Levi makes his way out, giving you two a smile as you both get dragged to your next panel, individual interviews.
You go first. The interviewer is a pale blonde girl with a stack of cards in her hand.
“Y/N. Who's your favorite male co-star on set?”
“Oh, um. That’s a hard question to ask, we’re all friends.”
You can tell she’s not satisfied with your answer by her uptight posture, the irritation rolling out of her mouth.
“Oh, don’t pick a cop-out answer. Who's your favorite male co-star? Is it Eren?”
“Um, sure? He’s my best friend on set. But I like everyone.”
She smiles, switching to her next card.
“Fans have picked up on matching bracelets you and Eren have been wearing during this press tour. Can you comment on the story behind them?”
“Oh, sure! It was last year, at the Savant Awards TV show awards. A pair of sweet fans gifted them to us.”
She doesn’t comment any further on the story, switching to the next card as you swirl the bracelet around on your wrist, concealing Eren’s name on the beads against the inner part of your wrist. You have a feeling that what you just said will already get twisted into something it’s not, which in the worst way, distorts the entire thing for you together.
“Okay, well, that’s all I have for you.”
You give her a smile as you switch seats, taking Eren’s previous seat. Hange places a hand on your head, and you watch them share a look with Levi as Eren takes the seat.
“You’re a phenomenal actor, Eren. What gets you in the zone on set?”
“Thank you so much! I usually have to take a second before I start filming a scene just to get in the right headspace. Especially for scenes that I film with Y/N, I usually need her to be right there next to me just so I can…feel the scene before we film it.”
The interviewer smiles, sliding to the next card as she asks Eren the questions. She couldn’t be this cheery and enthusiastic for you?
“Do you have any pre-filming rituals before you get on set and start filming?” she asks.
“I need to eat a bowl of ramen with Y/N before we start. It’s not like a good luck thing or anything, but we’ve just always started our day like that and now we just have to do it before we go on and film.” Eren responds, looking over to give you a smile.
You give him a thumbs up as he keeps going, trying not to pay too much attention to the fact that all of Eren’s questions are about his upcoming roles, his acting techniques, his favorite parts of acting, and how yours were all about him. Granted, Eren somehow brings you up in almost every question he answers - even if it’s not explicitly related to you - which only makes the entire thing fester in your mind more.
What are people going to say about it? This would just make what everyone says about you guys worse.
Not that it’s bad, but they just…say things. Granted, everyone had been saying things since the start, but you’ve always chalked that up to the fact that you and Eren are closer than everyone else is. And you know how the two of you are, but everyone else seems to have their own opinions about it. And maybe you should try to stop it? But if that’s how you are, who are you to change and-
“You okay?”
Eren’s taken the seat next to you, leaving Erwin to get interviewed next. You’re both slumped into the chairs at the back, Levi and Hange whispering in hushed voices in front of you. You can’t help but wonder if they felt this way when they were filming La La Land, but then again, they had no reason to deny anything that anyone said. They were actually together.
“Yeah. Just want to go home.”
He frowns as he brings a hand to the top of your head, leaning it to rest on his shoulder again. His cold fingers are in your scalp, pressing against the pulsating headache you’d been ignoring for the past hour, soothing the feeling.
Should you guys really be sitting like this if there are cameras five feet away? And what if-
“Do you want to take a walk? We can go look for lemonade or something.”
You nod as you both stand up, giving Hange and Levi a wave as you walk off. You’re slowly ambling behind Eren as he looks around for the drinks, the entire day replaying in your mind.
You just want to go back to set. Have Mikasa tell you goodnight, eat breakfast with Sasha, play cards with Armin. None of this press junket, stupid interviewers, uncomfortable producers business.
You feel a tugging on your arm, and you look back to find two girls looking at you. They can’t be much older than you, maybe eighteen or nineteen, with matching Attack on Titan shirts. With your face on it.
“Hi. We’re Sarah and Sofia. We’re really, really big fans of the show. We were wondering if we could get a picture with you?”
“Oh! Yeah, of course. I’d love to.” you respond.
You take a few pictures with them before handing them their phones back.
“Are you guys enjoying the panels?”
“Yes! We’ve gone to every single one of yours, you’ve been doing really well.”
You can feel your cheeks burning at their praise, reaching forward to hold both of their hands as you talk.
“You guys are too kind. And I really, really love the shirts. Did you make them yourselves?”
“Yeah! We also drove down two hours just to come watch, it’s been such a good weekend. We really, really admire you for what you’ve done. It seems like we hardly ever see “normal” people in the media. But every time we watch you do an interview, you always bring up our favorite songs and slang that we use, it just…makes it feel like there’s someone like us on the screen.”
You squeeze their hands, the tears welling in your eyes as you fight them down while responding.
“I promise, I’m a thousand times more like you than any of them, in more ways than you’d think. And…you could do it too. It’s like you said, we’re one and the same.”
They’re smiling so brightly at you that it’s making your heart squish in your chest, the feeling all warm and gooey and self-soothing. Right. You can do it. Who gives a fuck if a stupid reporter or these people think you’re lame - the people who watch your show are the ones that matter.
“We love you so much. You’re so, so sweet. You’re literally the nicest celebrity we’ve ever met. I’m sure you have to run soon - I can see Eren back there staring bullets at us - but we hope you have a really good birthday tomorrow, and we can’t wait to meet you again.” they say.
You wrap your arms around both of them as they both run off, excitedly talking, as you see Eren coming up to join you. He has a cup of lemonade in his right hand, the left hand reaching forward to wipe away the one tear that escaped your eyes.
“Sure you’re okay?”
You look over at him, green eyes looking into yours, and reach down to take his hand.
“Yeah. I’m okay.”
“Let’s go home, yeah?”
You nod, the two of you shuffling off to where you came from.
-
When you get on the plane, your impending panic of the “Thank You” scene comes back. You’re both landing on set on New Year’s Day - which is your birthday, so you won’t be filming. Levi and Hange granted you the night off, and Eren says the two of you can go get slushies when you land. But then you’re filming the scene the next morning. You’re both still stuck on the plane for another seven hours running through the lines.
“Listen, you’ve always been at my side...thank you.”
You drop the script onto the table and groan loudly, to which Eren laughs in response.
“It-it’s falling flat. This scene is too serious, I-we’re going to have to do a million takes.”
“It’s fine- we’ll just practice a lot.”
You switch seats so you’re right next to Eren, the two of you looking down at your scripts and switching. You read each other’s stage notes - you both have a habit of writing notes to help remember lines and blocking - which you’ve found helps reading each other's notes helps you stay in line. Like you’re in each other’s head.
You read through his little scribbles - keep eye contact, start crying here, practice this.
“Eren.”
“Hm?”
“When you say practice this, you mean…”
He leans over, eyes going wide as he snatches his own script back, face burning. The arrow saying “practice this” was pointing to the line referring to the two of you kissing.
“Were you going to practice kissing in the mirror?”
“Shut up.”
“I think a pillow would be more sanitary. Maybe you could find a video of it on the internet or-”
“I was going to ask if you wanted to practice with me,” Eren responds angrily.
You can feel your throat drying, eyes met with Eren’s burning stare.
“Um.”
“I just thought it-it would be worse if we did it wrong. And had to keep trying, and you know that everyone’s going to come to watch us and-”
“I guess, but-”
“You don’t have to, Y/N. I was just thinking about it, and I was going to ask. Just so we don’t…have to do it for the first time in front of cameras.” he mumbles, turning his head away to look out the window.
You sit there for a second and think about it. Eren does have a point. Having Ymir and Reiner stand there while you kiss Eren, or anyone, for the first time would be horribly embarrassing if they were actually standing there. And it would be weird to have your first kiss for the first time in front of someone, maybe it would be a better memory if it was more isolated and someone else.
“Okay, Eren. That actually makes sense.”
He turns back, a shocked expression spreading across his face.
“Really?”
“Yeah, just…don’t be weird or something if it’s bad. I’ve like never really done this before, Eren and-”
“It’ll be fine. We can figure it out together. It’s just…kissing. Can’t be rocket science.”
You nod, albeit apprehensively, as Levi and Hange join you and Eren in the seats across from you.
“You guys doing okay?” Levi asks, pushing bottles of water toward the two of you.
You both nod as you take in their expressions, the two of them more stern or serious than normal. Well, Hange being more stern - Levi has resting serious face.
“We wanted to talk to you about something,” Hange says.
“Okay. Is everything okay?” you ask.
“The press junket. You both were exposed to many different things you really haven’t been to before and we just…want to give you our own advice before we let you go on and about in your careers.” Hange says.
“We care about you both, and there are just some things you should know. We don’t care what you do because you’re your own people, but we just want you to be warned about things you…might see.” Levi continues.
You and Eren give each other a weary look, halfheartedly nodding at the two of them.
“There are some producers in the industry that don’t have your best interest. I’m sure you guys have heard rumors before of what the industry is really like and what it can do to someone - we’re trusting you both to keep your heads when dealing with situations like that.” Hange says.
“I don’t give a shit if it ruins your reputation. You don’t let them ruin you, control you, whatever. Your safety and what you’re comfortable with comes first.” Levi says.
“Have you guys ever been....near stuff like that?” Eren asks
Levi and Hange give each other a weary look before nodding.
“Yes. That’s why we’re telling you because no one ever told us. They’ll make you do things you don’t want to, make it feel like they control you, and take away the things important to you so they’ll know you’ll stay. Some of them are also very deep in some very, very illegal shit, so again. If you value where you are, you won’t interact with them.” Levi says.
You both nod, reaching for each other's hands as Levi and Hange study you with their eyes.
“Eren. Y/N. Did you notice anything weird about the press junkets we did today? Or what the media says?”
“Not really,” Eren responds.
You look down at your hands, focusing on the way your knuckles look when they’re flexed, from clenching so hard, as they all wait for your response. But you guess your silence is enough of an answer because Hange takes that as their sign to start talking.
“I had a feeling. What have you been thinking?” Hange asks.
You can feel your voice getting tangled in your throat and the tears coming to fill your eyes when it comes time to explain, to tell the three of them something they might entirely reject. Or just not understand.
“I just-the press junket was weird. It seemed like the interviewers were all asking me questions about Eren or Connie, or my other co-stars while they were asking Eren questions about his acting and what he does to get ready on set. It just feels like-that’s the only thing they care about when it comes to me. How I interact with other people.”
Eren’s squeezing your hand - three times - as the tears are freely spilling out of your eyes. Right with the words because now that you’ve opened this can of worms, it seems like you won’t stop until they’re all out on the floor.
“And. At the networking event, everyone wanted to talk to Eren and not to me. And it’s not that I’m jealous of him because I want Eren’s dreams to come true just as much as mine, but it…just feels like I’m less than. Like I’m stupid for even trying because my parents are just dentists in a small town, and the only acting I’ve done before this was in a very shitty small-scale production of Hamilton at my middle school.”
Hange and Levi scoot into the seats at your sides, Hange’s arms around you on your left and Eren’s around you on your right. Hange and Eren are squeezing your hands, Levi’s hand softly running through the strands of your hair as you sniffle through all the tears.
“I’m sorry, kid, but this part doesn’t go away. Especially because you’re a girl, something about that makes people think they have the right to the most heinous things about you. They’ll criticize anything and everything you do. You’ll learn to roll with the punches because, at the end of the day, you’re here to make art. Let that do the talking for you.” Hange says.
“I know. I just have to ignore them. Plus, there are nice people out there who really care about the show and what I do so-” you respond.
“More than just care about it, Y/N. People love you. The ones around you and people out there.” Eren says.
“Another thing. Eren, the type of scrutiny you’ll face is nothing compared to what she’s going to face, just on principle. It’s your job to not be the asshole who turns a blind eye to that and it’s your job to defend her if it calls for it. And if anything, it should infuriate you enough anyways that-” Levi mentions, looking over the tops of your heads to look at Eren.
“It already does infuriate me. Who gives the people the right to say anything about her when she’s one of the best ones on the show?” Eren responds, the anger spilling out of his mouth.
Levi and Hange give your hands one last squeeze before walking away, muttering something about how you should just focus on enjoying your birthday tomorrow and the scenes, leaving you and Eren in the seats again.
“What were we talking about before?” you ask.
“Everyone is stupid. You know that, right?”
You sigh, leaning against the chair so you’re looking up at the top of the airplane, the white lights shining on the two of you.
“I know that logically. But sometimes, it just kind of sits in my head. Repeating, and I try to convince myself it’s not true, but-”
“I’ll convince you.”
“What?”
“Just tell me. I’ll convince you. You could have told me before too and whenever you want. I’ll drop whatever it is I’m doing for you if this is what you need me to do.”
You nod, thinking of the best response. Because how do you tell him that he’s the best person you’ve ever met, and this only furthers the fact that he’s just too good for you. Because you’ve never had someone defend you or be so ready to come to your aid before that you don’t know what to do with it?
“I know how you feel. You don’t have to say it, Y/N.”
You laugh, rolling your eyes at him.
“Are you quoting the stage directions from our kiss scene?”
“Maybe. But it’s true. And also, that’s what we were talking about before. Practicing kissing.”
“Maybe after we go to get slushies for my birthday later?”
“Yeah.”
You both smile as you dig your noses back into your scripts, waiting for the plane to reach back to set.
-
You guys land on set the next day, around three pm. Eren and Levi woke you up on the plane with a little mini-cupcake and a candle to surprise you. Hange then smashed almost all of the frosting onto your face, which just earned them a good amount of scolding from both Eren and Hange. When you land, you and Eren head to the townhouse together, to change before getting slushies.
“Why do you have your phone out, Eren?”
“What? I always have my phone out.”
“Not when you’re like…walking somewhere. And there isn’t even any wifi outside the townhouse, so I don’t even know what you’re doing on that.”
“Can you just walk into the house, please? Do you have to question everything I do?”
You pretend to scratch your temples, like you’re pondering his questions, as Eren rolls his eyes and lightly pushes your head, gesturing you into the house. And when you walk inside, they’re all waiting for you - the foyer of the townhouse decorated for your birthday and little party hats on all of their stupid little heads.
They’re all singing Happy Birthday off cue - Reiner singing opera again, Connie screaming cha-cha-cha off cue, and Historia singing like she’s the next contestant of America’s Got Talent. Mikasa and Sasha bring over a cake with seventeen green candles, each of them giving you a tight hug as you blow out the candles.
“Surprise!” Armin says, flashing the camera in your face.
“This is so sweet, you guys. Thank you,” you say.
“We have gifts. Come on, let’s open them.” Jean says, grabbing you by the hand and leading you to the center room.
They each hand you their gifts, excitedly watching you rip off the wrapping paper. And you get why because it seems like everyone put so much thought into their gifts that it makes your heart squeeze. Mikasa gives you a nice, leatherbound notebook so you can stop writing song lyrics on napkins, and Armin compliments her gift by buying you a nice set of green guitar picks.
You take the time to squeeze everyone in a hug and press a kiss to Ymir’s cheek, much to her dismay, because she writes you the sweetest little birthday note that makes you cry, and Reiner buys you a vinyl player to use for when you make your own record. And when you go all around the circle, you end up back at Eren, who is seemingly empty-handed.
“Did you get me something? You don’t have to, I just-”
“Shut up. Of course, I had to. I just can’t really wrap my gift.” Eren responds, grabbing you by the hand and leading you to the closet near the front door.
The rest of them all follow suit, watching you guys from a little distance.
“Wow, Eren. I love it. I’ve always wanted my own closet.”
“Shut up and open it.”
You reach forward for the handle and swing it open, only to be met with your brothers - Colt and Falco - springing out of the closet and wrapping their arms around you. You’re squeezing the both of them so hard, so excited you’re crying because it’s literally been months on end since you’ve seen them, and you never dreamed they could even be here.
“What are you doing here? Coco, you literally have class in like two days, and Colt so do you and-”
“Eren flew us out for your birthday. We’re leaving at the end of the day tomorrow.”
You turn around, and you know you’re all teary-eyed and pink in the face, but you reach forward and squish Eren into the tightest hug known to man, eliciting cheering from the rest of them still watching you - that you entirely forgot about.
“Eren. I love you so much. Thank you. I’ll pay you back for the plane tickets, but this really means the world to me, and I-”
“You don’t have to pay me back. This was a gift for you, birthday girl,” he says, pinching the side of your cheek.
-
Nine hours later and the whole new year in the flesh, you’re scribbling lyrics into the little book Mikasa bought you. The party they threw you - fully set with games, karaoke, and a pinata that Bertholdt procured out of thin air - turned out to be so tiring that they all passed out in the foyer, sleeping on top of each other on the couch and the floor.
“Writing a song?”
“Yeah. I think it’s done, actually, I just need to go play it now,” you say.
“Want me to come? I can help with the piano.” Eren asks.
“It’s three in the morning. Aren’t you tired? And I don’t even know where the key to set is where we can access the piano.”
Eren reaches for the closest drawer, pulling out a shiny black key and dragging you out by the hand. You both pull on jackets and run out into the dark to the tandem bike, pushing towards set while shivering in the cold air.
And when Eren opens the set door and turns on the lights, you immediately scream and duck behind him.
“What the fuck is that?”
“Ymir’s prosthetic titan.”
“God. Do they need to leave it at the front door? That literally scared the shit out of me.”
He laughs, locking his hand in yours as he drags you to the piano near the back of the set. You yank your hoodie off your head, placing the lyrics on the front of the piano.
“Okay, so. Sing it. I’ll see what chords make the most sense after.”
You nod, going through the first verse.
There’s glitter on the floor after the party
Girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby
Candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor
You and me from the night before, but
Eren starts playing the piano around the chorus, a light piano tune filling the air. And he’s watching you so intently as you sing the lyrics, change words around with your messy handwriting, and he thinks at this moment, with your forehead all scrunched up in concentration and your sweet voice in the air that you might be his favorite person to be around.
Don’t read the last page
But I stay, when it’s hard, or it’s wrong, or we’re making mistakes
I want your midnights
But I’ll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year’s Day
And when you finish, he’s wrapping his arms around you, his voice so soft when he whispers in your ear that it makes the hair on your skin stand up.
“You are…amazing. You know that?”
“Eren. You’re so-”
He cups your cheek in his hand, his thumb rubbing back and forth as he looks into your eyes, the look so warm, so sincere that it makes your chest tingle and your heart pound. Any denial of the fact will be met with pushback, so you drop it.
“Thank you, Eren.”
He smiles, dropping his hand to play the chords again and write them in the book.
“Hey.”
“Yeah?”
“Is this song about me, Y/N?”
“What?”
“Well, the line. You squeeze my hand three times in the back of a taxi? Isn’t that kind of our thing? Squeezing hands three times.”
You can feel your cheeks burning as you focus on the lyrics. And god, maybe the song is about Eren. You didn’t intend to write it that way, but he’s right. The candle wax, and the polaroids are mentioned in the song.
Those are all things you associate with him.
“I guess so. I mean, I didn’t mean to really write it that way, but I guess that’s how it came out.”
He smiles, a smirk on his face as he starts teasing you.
“Am I your muse?”
“Shut up. You’re so fucking stupid, Eren.”
“You and me, forevermore huh?”
“Eren. Stop.”
“I’m teasing, Y/N. I like the sound of that. And the entire song, it’s really good. You should submit it to perform for the Savants.”
“No. I could never do that.”
He rolls his eyes as he shuts the book, swinging on the other side of the piano bench to lean against the now-closed piano. You’re both sitting silently, taking in the set when it’s so empty. Everyone’s ODM gear is labeled in the closet with their names, Eren’s prosthetic titan arms lying nearby, and Levi’s cleaning supplies.
Eren clears his throat, breaking the silence.
“We-um. Were supposed to get slushies yesterday.”
“Oh. I’m sorry, I just got so distracted.”
“Yeah. And.”
“And?”
“Weweresupposedtopracticethekiss.” he mumbles out, rubbing his hand against the back of his neck.
You feel your eyes widen as the recognition hits you. You’re supposed to kiss Eren tomorrow morning.
“Oh, shit. That’s literally tomorrow.”
“Yeah.”
The silence hangs between the two of you as the pit in your stomach starts burning.
“Do you want to practice now? Just so we’re good for tomorrow morning?”
“Oh. Yeah, I guess.”
You both awkwardly shuffle on the piano bench facing, splitting your legs between each side so you can both scoot closer to each other. And you can feel your heart beating really fast at being this close to him, all alone.
He must sense it, because he puts his hand in yours, squeezing three times, before talking.
“You okay? We don’t have to.”
“No. We should. I-I want to.”
He nods, lifting his hands in the air as confusion spreads across his face.
“You can put your hands wherever. It’s okay.” you say
“O-okay. Right, Y/N. Sorry I-”
“Don’t worry. I’ve never done this before either.”
He settles for cupping the side of your face with his right hand and leaving his left hand resting against the side of your waist. You place your hands against his hoodie, crumpling the fabric in your hands as you try to limit the sweat gathering on your palms.
“Okay.”
“Okay, Y/N. You ready?”
“Yeah.”
He leans forward and presses his lips to yours, the sensation so strange that you forget to move your lips and freeze up against your face. You both stay there for three seconds - but it feels like an eternity. And when he pulls away, you can feel the embarrassment rushing to your face when you realize what just happened.
You just kissed him wrong. You forgot to kiss him back.
“Oh my god, Eren. Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I was so thrown off by it, and I just made your first kiss wrong, and I-”
“Y/N.”
“Oh god. We’re going to fuck this up so badly tomorrow. I’m going to fuck this up so badly tomorrow. And we’re going to-”
“Y/N.”
“Ymir is never going to stop making fun of me. And then I’ll probably-”
He drops his hands and reaches for your wrists, squeezing hard as he talks.
“Y/N. Stop.” he says, his voice so soft, so earnest that it stops you in your tracks.
“It’s okay. You didn’t mess anything up. I think you’re just…thinking about it too hard. This isn’t the kiss we’re doing for tomorrow or the show. This is just you and me, kissing here and now. So just…relax. It’s just us.”
You groan as you put your hands on your face, murmuring through your fingers.
“How do you always say the right thing like that? It pisses me off.”
He laughs, grabbing your wrists and placing them back on his shoulders where they were before. And when he secures his hand around your cheek and your waist again, his green eyes are shining in the set light and you think he might be your favorite person to be around.
“Ready, Y/N?”
“Ready.”
And when he leans forward this time, you move your lips too, taking notice of how soft, how warm his lips feel against yours. How the sensation tingles all the way down to your stomach, makes your cheeks burn and your brain prickle. You instinctively lift your hands off his shoulders, feeling the softness of his hair between your fingertips and how his hand is only guiding your mouth closer to his like he’s pushing your lips together more than they already are.
And when you both pull away, you’re both staring at each other - dilated eyes and swollen, pink lips. Your hands in his hair and his hands around your waist, breathless.
When he cracks a smile, you can feel your entire resolve shattering. You make no effort to stop beaming at him the way you are, because you know you couldn’t even if you tried.
“Hi Y/N.” he whispers.
“Hi Eren.” you whisper back.
And you both laugh so hard that it makes your chest hurt.
“Listen, Y/N.”
“Yeah?”
“You know. We’re practicing. And doing it one time doesn’t mean it’s perfect, so-so we should try again. You know, for method acting purposes and-and.”
You smirk, reaching forward to pinch his cheek.
“You want to kiss me so bad.”
“Shut up. We don’t have to, I just want to make-”
“We can.”
He smiles, leaning forward to press his lips against yours again, his breath tickling the tip of your nose and his lips pressing against yours again, this kiss better than the last. You’ve committed it to memory - how his lips fit perfectly against yours, where his hands feel the best.
For acting purposes, of course.
-
You and Eren are ready bright and early to film the scene. Seconds before you start, Levi comes over and drops a key piece of information that leaves you and Eren pink in the face.
They’re cutting the kiss from the script.
--
--
next part linked here
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