#I can guess based on when it was sent but cmon

[vampire-nyx]

If you gotta send me a kys anon at least tell me why, don’t be lazy

[endcrman]

Allostasis

(Chapter 2)

As a general rule of thumb, Grian doesn’t do public servers for a multitude of reasons. This one hadn’t even made it onto the list.

TW for implied sexual assault, PTSD symptoms, Self-Neglect, and minor Disordered Eating

Read the whole fic here.

-

Grian woke to more messages. Some from hermits, but he didn't bother looking at those too closely, too preoccupied with the hours-old notification in the universal chat.

samgladiator: griannnnnnn

samgladiator: i know you havent blocked me grian cmon

samgladiator: are you mad about the redstone thingy? i was just goofing and gaffing you know what im like lol

Grian laid his head back against his pillow, eyes closed as he tried to figure out how to respond. His eye hurt. He didn't want to get out of bed. He didn't want to build, he didn't want to fish, he didn't want to work on anything right now. He was tired.

His comm buzzed again.

GoodTimeWithScar: hey grain, how are you doing after yesterday?

Grian: bit tired, but just fine! thanks for checking in

He was tapping out a lie before he could even think about it, not wanting to worry Scar. He had enough to concern himself with even before Grian was involved, he didn't have to add any more stressors to his plate.

Scar said something else, but Grian had closed his messages already, opening Sam's again, staring at them. What was he even supposed to say to that? Call him out on his bullshit? Laugh along with his shitty excuse of a joke? A voice in the back of his head was telling Grian to block him, but that would just make Sam mad, he reasoned.

Grian: what do you want sam

He regretted the message the instant he sent it, flinching as he turned off his comm again. Why was he so stupid? Why couldn't he leave well enough alone?

Grian turned over on his side, pulling a pillow over his head with a groan as the communicator buzzed. If only he hadn't just woken up, then he could fall asleep again and ignore all of this for even longer. 

Of course, Grian had no such luck. Instead he laid there, staring at the blank wall in front of him.

His comm buzzed yet again and Grian let out a bitter laugh, he could almost imagine Sam staring in anticipation at his own comm, waiting for Grian to get back to him after all this time. It was kind of pathetic, if that was what he was doing. How lonely was he?

And yet, Grian was reaching over to read his messages anyways.

samgladiator: i'm sorry.

samgladiator: like for real. no jokes. i know we were really messed up as kids and ive been working on it i promise. i guess i saw you and it just felt like we were kids again. fucked up but still in it together. i didnt mean it

He was still trying to process the words when another message came through, automatically populating the chat.

samgladiator: you can keep ignoring me if you want, i get it :( but if youre ever willing, i wanna make it up to you. text me whenever

He was going to throw up. There were a few panicked moments as he dug through his chests, silently pleading to anyone listening that he actually had a bucket up in his base, not just lost in his chest monster down below. His wishes were answered luckily, however unneeded, as he curled over the metal bucket on the floor, retching and dry heaving. His stomach was already empty, bile burning his throat, but that wasn't enough to curb the ill piercing it's way through his entire being.

Grian wasn't sure how long he sat there, bucket in his lap as his body tried to evacuate his stomach's non-existent contents. He was trembling when he finally managed to stop gagging, the bucket empty aside from a couple stray tears that had made their way down his cheeks. He was so tired again.

Shakily, he set the bucket down on the ground, easily accessible just in case. The sound of metal meeting the wooden floor was so, so loud in his ears, echoing around his base, making him flinch. Grian took a deep breath, carefully getting up on two wobbly legs before rolling into bed again. He should eat. 

He didn't get up, falling asleep again.

-

I'm sorry. Sam might as well have written those words on the inside of Grian's eyelids, as often as he was stuck thinking about them. Sam didn't apologize, that was part of what made him so insufferable to begin with, always convinced that he was in the right. So what the hell was this?

Grian wasn't sure how long it had been since he received those last messages from Sam, not really bothering with the passage of time. He'd spent most of said time thinking, turning over what had happened and what Sam had said in his head, picking at pieces of food he had laying around the base, and making up excuses to not have to see any other hermits.

He knew he was in a sorry state, and he knew he had to pull himself together before anybody saw him. Unfortunately, the universe seemed to have other plans.

“Grian!” Joel's voice was loud, Grian almost didn't recognize it as his own name, directed towards him. He pulled a pillow over his head, squeezing his eyes shut. Maybe if he ignored him, he'd go away.

That was too much to hope for though. Why would Joel ever go away when he could cause problems instead?

“Grian! It's Sunday!” His voice was getting closer, and all Grian could think to do was hold the pillow even tighter over his head. “It's Sunday and you're not at the permit office! Get your butt out here! Or else I'll come in, and drag you out of your birdhouse by your scrawny little ankles, I swear to-'' Joel's voice peaked in both volume and proximity the same time it petered off into uncertainty. Then, it was quieter again. “Grian?”

Grian just groaned in response, holding the pillow even tighter over his head, maybe he could suffocate in it. Then he would respawn, Joel would laugh it off, call him some names for being stupid enough to do something like that, and everything would go back to normal instead of whatever else was about to happen, whatever lecture he was about to receive.

No such luck. Instead he felt a touch on his forearm, something he instinctively rolled away from which left him looking up at the other, wide eyes meeting even wider. He opened his mouth to say something, but couldn’t force anything to come out. He noticed too late to stop just how tightly he was clutching the pillow to his chest, he must look like a mess.

Joel slowly withdrew his hand, and judging by how his brows furrowed and ears flattened against the top of his head the mess part was definitely true. Without wasting another moment, Joel schooled his expression into something more neutral— as if his tail flicking back and forth didn’t give him away— and sat bodily onto the foot of Grian’s bed, bouncing on the mattress.

“You seem busy, the permit office can wait,” he said with a shrug, not looking directly at Grian. He sat cross-legged, pulling his tail into his lap to brush the fur into place, pulling out a leaf and dropping it on the floor without even checking if Grian would care. His wings itched at the reminder of what could be. “Impulse’s wall is starting to get some graffiti on it, have you had a chance to see? Gem’s got a real good tag up there, I think you’d like it.”

Grian was silent, pulling his legs up just a bit so they weren’t in Joel’s way and shifting onto his back to look up at the ceiling instead of the tanuki in front of him. He couldn’t tell if this was better or worse than if the other had just confronted him about what was going on.

“I’ve actually been thinking about what I want to put on it,” Joel continued after a moment, as if the other actually had responded. Grian’s muscles ached from the sudden movements after what felt like days of disuse, leading to him stretching his legs out again, around Joel this time, but he didn’t seem to mind. “I need to put something up over by my base, I couldn’t stand it if it didn’t match my build, even if it was undeniably fantastic.”

He just kept talking, filling the empty air with his voice. Grian wouldn’t admit it, but it was sort of soothing, having somebody else around instead of just jumping from thought to thought, getting lost in them and feeling worse and worse.

It did start feeling awkward after a little, having Joel sit while he laid in bed, so Grian forced himself to sit up even as his muscles protested, at least a little, leaning back against the headboard of his bed.

“Thought you might have fallen asleep or something,” Joel joked once Grian had settled, making him look away in embarrassment. “I wouldn’t have blamed you, you look blummin’ tired, huge bags under your eyes. Something bothering you?” He asked, as if the answer wasn’t obvious. Grian only shrugged, not trusting his voice after so long, thankfully Joel didn’t push for an answer beyond that, coming to the same conclusion. “Stupid question, sorry. New question, when’s the last time you got out of bed?”

Grian must have made a face at that, because Joel laughed before managing to catch himself, snapping his mouth shut, which pulled the quietest huff of laughter out of Grian in turn. Just that by itself made his throat hurt a bit.

“Don’t laugh at me, I’m trying to be a good friend here.” Joel’s tone was light, and his smile made it clear he considered the small noise a success. “Hey, bed boy, let’s get you up and clean, how’s that sound? You go shower, and I’ll make you some real food.”

He wanted to protest, but his throat felt all closed up, and his traitor of a stomach growled at the thought of something other than stale bread for the first time in forever. Instead he pouted, petulant, and held his hands out.

“Yes!” Joel pumped his fist, making Grian roll his eyes. This was so stupid. “Sorry, come on, let’s get you moving again.” He slid off the bed first, taking Grian’s hands and helping him stand up. He almost fell at first, leaning far too much of his weight onto Joel, his legs wanting to do nothing but lay down again. “Careful, can you stand by yourself?”

It took a couple hundred ticks for him to stop swaying, and a couple more for him to finally stand on his own, wings spread just a bit to help him keep balance. He took a deep breath, trying to think of anything but said wings.

“Good job, you’re doing great,” Joel murmured, and it didn’t sound mocking at all, but Grian couldn’t help himself from ruining everything good that happened to him.

“I’m not a child,” he croaked out, voice rough from disuse, it almost didn’t sound like him.

Joel must have thought the same, because he looked shocked, though he quickly gathered himself again. “I know you’re not,” he scolded gently, too kind, “but you look like you’ve been through hell and back, and I want to make this as easy for you as possible."

And now he felt bad, guilty, for ever considering anything different than that. “Sorry,” he managed, even quieter, but Joel shook his head.

“Go get cleaned up, alright? I’ll make some food for you.” He brushed Grian’s hair out of his eyes, brows furrowing again, and he only pulled away when Grian nodded, throat hurting too much to say anything else at the moment.

He didn’t think Joel was going to find anything to make in his base right now, having neglected to actually fill many of the chests, Grian was lucky to have had enough bread to last him as long as it had. Regardless, he made his way to the tiny shower he’d managed to cram into the base, cranking the water heat up as high as it could for now and carefully pulling his t-shirt he’d been wearing for void knows how long off over his wings. He crinkled his nose, imagining the smell he’d become blind to and immediately feeling grateful that Joel hadn’t said anything about it.

Grian kicked off his pants without much fanfare and immediately dove into the shower, melting under the hot water. Now that he was made aware of it, he could feel the layer of grime that was surely there covering his skin, burning water finally melting it away. He carefully sat on the floor of the shower, barely managing to fit in the small space, especially with his wings. He took a deep breath, resting his head on the wall behind him, and just soaked it up like a fish left out of the river for too long, he chuckled softly to himself at the comparison.

He must have dozed off or something, because he jolted awake at the sharp knock on the door, and Joel's voice coming from just outside of it. “You alright in there Grian? Food’s almost done!”

“Y-yeah!” He called back before even thinking about it, regretting it immediately, voice scratchy. His throat hurt, but he didn't have time to worry about that, fumbling for the shampoo among the other bottles in the shower with him.

He definitely spent too much time just sitting under the water, so he tried to properly clean himself up as quickly as possible, so Joel wouldn't be left waiting. It wasn't long before he was out again, towel around his waist, hair and feathers dripping as he peeked out the door into the rest of the base.

“Joel?” He tried not to speak too loudly, not wanting to irritate his throat more, but he needed the other's attention. It seemed the other wasn't wandering far though, with how quickly he reappeared. “Can you-” He coughed. “Can you bring me clean clothes?”

Joel brightened up the more he spoke, nodding quickly as his tail swished behind him. “Of course! Be right back!” And he was off again.

He was back just as quick, and Grian didn't have the energy to ask him how he managed to find everything so easily, and whether or not his closet was left in decent state. Instead he closed the bathroom door again, pulling on clean clothes and already feeling a bit better. The sweater topped that feeling off, covering him like a security blanket. He shook the water out of his hair and wings before padding out into the main room again, catching a whiff of something that smelled amazing.

“Hey,” Grian's gaze fell on Joel, who was setting up a place for him to sit. “Your hair's a mess still.”

He blushed, shrugging his shoulders. He sat down before Joel even suggested he did, feeling tired.

“I can brush it for you,” he offered, setting down a grilled salmon in front of Grian, whose mouth was watering already. “I've done it for Lizzie before, I promise not to pull.”

“Did you catch this?” Grian asked instead, forcing himself to slow down before he ate the whole thing immediately.

“Borrowed one of your poles, figured you wouldn't mind too much,” Joel explained, setting a steaming mug down in front of him too.

He hummed softly in response, forcing himself to slow down after a couple bites and taking a sip of the tea Joel had made him. Far too sweet.

“I added some extra honey,” either Joel was reading his mind, or he'd made a face without realizing. “Your throat sounded pretty rough, it'll be good for you.”

“Thanks,” he mumbled, truly meaning it, whether it sounded that way or not. Joel was pretty quiet while he finished eating, puttering around the small base, occupying himself. Eventually he finished, pushing the plate away for later, and he heard Joel coming up behind him.

“I found your brush, mind if I take care of your hair?”

Grian sighed, a little smile creeping onto his face. “I guess, you promised not to pull though,” he reminded the other, head tilting back a bit.

“And I meant it!” Joel sounded offended, though he snickered after a second. “It'll help, you'll feel more like a person,” he murmured, and Grian felt him starting to work his fingers through his hair.

“You've been helping a lot already,” Grian admitted softly, relaxing easily into the touch. How long was his hair now? It couldn't be too much longer than he usually kept it.

“Glad to hear,” for once Joel didn't sound smug or full of himself, just genuinely glad. “How long have you been out of it?” The brush started working it's way through his hair.

“Dunno,” Grian mumbled, taking a deep breath. “Since… Since I last went off server,” he felt himself tense a little at the reminder, wings twitching.

“With Scar and Mumbo?” Joel kept his tone even, non-judgemental for once. “They mentioned your eye, was that what happened?”

A hand suddenly flew up to his eye, gently touching the skin near it. “P-part of it. Is it still there?” He'd been avoiding looking in the mirror since.

“Barely,” Joel assured him, and the motion of the brush through his hair started relaxing him again. “I only noticed because I knew to look for it. You said part, what else happened?”

He felt like his throat was closing up, eyes watering a little. “My- my wings,” he managed out, taking a deep breath. “Something happened.”

“Something,” Joel repeated, hands never stopping. “Are they alright? Nothing broken at least? They don't look broken.”

“N-nothing broken,” Grian confirmed, feeling them tremble, just a little. “Don't really wanna-”

“That's fine,” Joel murmured, and it was quiet for a moment. “With me? Or with anyone?”

He didn't know how to answer that, opening his mouth to begin speaking, only to close it when he couldn't think of anything. No, not Joel specifically, but he wasn't sure who, if he would anyone.

“I usually braid Lizzie's hair when I'm done,” Joel said nonchalantly, the brush regretfully leaving Grian's head, “but yours is pretty short. We could try a little ponytail if you want, I think it'd be fun.”

Grian shook his head, reaching for the mug of tea again. Knowing Joel, he'd gather up all the hair in front of his head, pull it all together right on his forehead… Though maybe not today specifically.

There was silence for a bit, comfortable, until Joel decided to speak again. “Would you tell Mumbo?”

Grian froze. Would he? He could. Mumbo knew the kind of stuff he went through when he was young, even if just vaguely. He was scared though, there was always the chance, no matter how small, that Mumbo would scold him when he found out just how deep that rabbit hole went.

“Careful, you'll shatter that,” Joel warned him, moving to take the mug from his white-knuckled hands, setting it down on the table again. Grian hadn't even noticed how tightly he'd been holding onto it. “Not Mumbo then, what about Scar?”

Scar. Scar didn't know any of it. At least, he knew less than Mumbo, he'd have less context clues to put it all together, he'd be reliant on the details Grian told him, and only those.

“... Maybe, I don't know,” he answered honestly, tracing the grain in the table with his finger.

“Maybe is better than no, or trying to shatter a cup of boiling tea all over yourself,” Joel was being dramatic, it wasn't even steaming anymore. “Why don't you take a nap? I'll get him over here in the meantime, I think he'll help, even if you don't tell him.”

Grian hadn't even realized how tired he was again, the thought of a nap sounding much more pleasing to him than it usually would. He didn't even think to argue, nodding as he carefully got up from the table, a yawn escaping him.

“Careful now,” Joel warned, helping him to bed. Grian would have taken offense at that were he not so exhausted, and the second he was laying down again he was out like a light.

[grlazul]

sweet child

octavinelle x reader (i guess? not really romantic the tweels are just trying to get prefect to make a contract with azul but their feelings toward yuu can be interpreted however...)

note: this is sortaaaa based off the song from the musical because i love it haha... a little bit of grim slander, i love him but i wasn't quite sure who else to make the problem. thank u all btw for the support, i'm glad people enjoy my works!

you honestly wanted to bash your head against the wall until a higher being decided to give you mercy. grim had flunked yet another exam, bringing your joint grade down... quite badly. you always gave every assignment, test, quiz, and even homework assignments everything you had. but how much is your hard work worth when grim doesn't even bat an eyelash at your sinking grade?

you sighed, sitting on a bench in the courtyard. you decided you needed space from grim currently, as you didn't want to blow up on him over this.

unfortunately, this caught the eye of two eels...

it gave you quite the scare once they began to speak, as you hadn't even seen nor heard them come up behind you.

"my my..." spoke jade. "what is it that ails you so, prefect?"

floyd made a mocking pouty face, "it's so sad to see you like this shrimpy!"

you shook your head, knowing that the two were likely up to no good. "it's nothing."

jade gave floyd a knowing look, "well it can't be nothing. something is clearly the matter with you, my dear prefect. don't you agree floyd?"

his twin nodded, "cmon shrimpy, you can trust us!"

the way they closed in on you made you feel like a lamb who knew it was going to be sent to slaughter. you could feel your nerves getting worse and worse but still managed to mutter something in reply.

"trust you to tell your employer, sure."

they both smirked at your response, but jade was the first to speak.

"you two may have gotten off on the wrong foot, but azul can help you." his smile sent shivers down your spine. "in fact, he's been quite desperate to see you in his office again. all he wants is to make amends. come now prefect, i'm sure he'll make you a bargain you'll be unable to refuse." with that he sweeps you off the bench.

his twin grinned, "yeah! besides, he can fix whatever has you feeling this way, shrimpy!"

despite your protests, the two nearly drag you to the mirror hall commenting on how excited azul will be to see you. great sevens, just what have you gotten yourself into?

[anchanted-one]

Legend of Lightning Chapter 42: Problems on Tatooine

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43208574/chapters/111451216

In Orbit, Tatooine

“General, we’ve reached Tatooine.”

“Good. I can’t tell you how worried I am right now. While you were busy on other worlds, Master Kiwiiks secured our weapons facility and all subsidiary facilities. She was in the process of reviewing footage, looking for any breaches, when she sent out an urgent communique saying they were under attack. That was minutes before I called you.”

“Tell me about the Tatooine project.”

“It was codenamed the Shock Drum,” Godera cut in. “The weapon discharges massive ultrasonic vibrations into the ground, damaging enemy fortifications at a microscopic level. Literally softening them up.”

“That could be a major environmental hazard too,” Vajra said, eyes narrowing.

<Sustained electronic damage = highly destructive to droid parts.>

“But that’s not all. The Shock Drum eventually disrupts the planetary core. At critical mass, the core explodes.”

“Which is why I banned further testing,” Var Suthra cut back in. “We only recently discovered its full capabilities. However, there’s a fully operational Shock Drum prototype in the facility. If Darth Angral captured it, the results will be catastrophic. There’s little help for you down there. A few soldiers, a few SIS bases. But they’re critically understaffed thanks to the planet’s insignificance. I’ll send you the coordinates to the facility. Good luck.”

“Wait,” Kira said. “I had one question. How long can an organic hold up when exposed to the vibrations for too long? I can Sense Master Kiwiiks. She’s in great pain. This is just a hunch, but I think she’s been left to die near the Shock Drum.”

“Which means it’s been activated?!” Var Suthra sounded alarmed. “You’ve got to get started immediately!”

“Ordinary people would be killed within an hour,” Doctor Godera answered the question. “I’m sorry.”

But Var Suthra wasn’t done. “But I’ve seen Jedi who could enter trances that allowed them to endure even radioactive environments. Not to give you false hope, but if you hurry, you just might save her.”

“Let’s get ready for landing then,” Vajra said. “Come on. Let’s get the speeders and kits ready.”

*

Anchorhead Spaceport

The problems started the moment the ramp opened up to the outside world. The heat caused by Tatooine’s famous binary suns instantly started to make itself known. Stepping out into the open was torture. The sun’s rays immediately started to irritate his skin. Even the air he breathed felt hot in his lungs, to the point that breathing became difficult. His vision began to swim. He instantly had to grit his teeth to keep from screaming or cursing. He began to sweat profusely at once.

“Phew!”

“That’s fucking hot!” Kira groaned. “And not the good kind!”

“Are you okay?” He shook his head, but he couldn’t shake the haze that was descending over his mind.

“Yeah. Damn, I think we’ll need to stop somewhere—aha! There’s a shop right here! Guess they know they’ll get business from unsuspecting off-worlders. Cmon, let’s buy some more protective clothing!”

“I’ll manage.” He had to suppress a yelp as flashes of light reflected off of windowpanes brought back unwanted memories.

“But—”

“It’s fine. Pick out whatever you need.”

She gave him an uncertain look. “Okay, whatever you say, boss.”

Vajra barely paid attention as Kira picked out several thick overcoats and scarves for herself. “You sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, taking another swig of water. “The thing I need is water. At this rate, I’ll drain all of my canteens before we reach the outskirts.”

Kira looked at him for a moment before turning back to the shopkeeper. “Yeah, we’ll take two more. Can you make them both orange? Same color as his robes. And three more scarves. Thanks.” She tossed one set at him. “Put it on. It’ll help you conserve water better.”

“Fine,” he said grudgingly. “But we still need more water.”

“I hate to be the one to tell you about the drought,” the shopkeeper interrupted. “But there’s a fucking drought. Water cans are a hundred credits per bottle. For the moment. It’ll only get worse the longer you’re here.”

“Damn.”

“Hold on, I have a call incoming.”

“Jedi? Please tell me you haven’t left Anchorhead yet.”

“We’ve barely left the docking bay. Who is this?”

“My name’s Fauler. I’m a representative of the Republic. I need your help, son.”

“I’m sorry, sir. But I have an important mission.”

“Oh, I know how you’re helping Var Suthra clean up his mess—”

“Then—”

“Please, Jedi. I know, and I’m asking for help anyway. Does that tell you anything? There were others who passed through recently. Captain Stede, Captain Roban Queens. Heck, Devel Nirol from your own Order passed through forty minutes ago. Everyone’s busy… but this is important, and I’m getting desperate. Please, give me ten minutes to explain myself. I promise, you’ll agree that this is even more important than whatever project Var Suthra has locked away, or a missing Jedi Master.”

“More important than—I really wanna deck this guy,” Kira whispered. “But what do you think?”

“Ten minutes,” Vajra agreed. “But if you exaggerated or lied, I promise we’ll be angry.”

“Terrific. Come to the embassy. It’s a quick run from your location.”

*

The ‘embassy’ was more like an underground warehouse. They needed to take an elevator almost twenty meters beneath the surface to get to it.

Still, Kira was relieved to be out of those suns.

They were put on their guard when they saw the hole in the door. They entered cautiously, and came upon thirteen people in green and yellow uniform. Twelve of them held the last at gunpoint.

“…ly tracked you down, Kamus. You stole important documents. Czerka doesn’t take industrial sabotage lightly. We’ve come to… terminate your services.”

Two of his comrades laughed stupidly, but Kira saw one roll his eyes.

The threat was enough for the boss. He rushed in at once, Lightsaber igniting with a snap-hiss that echoed in this cramped facility. He placed himself between the shooters and their target, with a growled “Oh, I don’t think so!”

“JEDI!” someone screamed, and all twelve thugs grew much more wary.

“You know the policy,” the leader with the lame sense of humor said. “No survivo—I mean witnesses. Open fire!”

“Blasters?” The boss scoffed as a wall of blue plasma reflected his attackers’ blaster bolts right back at them. “Seriously, guys?”

“Oah…” the last one whimpered softly as he went down.

“I mean, it has to be common knowledge by now that we can do this trick, so why does everyone still think blasters are a good idea?” Kira asked the young man cowering behind the boss.

“I don’t know, ma’am!”

“Oh well. Not that we’re complaining. We’re sort of in a hurry.”

“We’re looking for one Mister Fauler.”

“Here’s Fauler!” the man himself came running into the room. “Someone called? Ugh! Come on, Kamus! You know how I feel about corpses in my workspace!”

The man called Kamus looked at him incredulously. “You—you were supposed to be here! I was supposed to be under your protection!”

“Sorry, Kamus. As an ‘official Republic representative, I have to at least look like I’m being diplomatic with the locals!”

The boss looked at his chrono. “You’ve got seven more minutes.”

“What? Oh, come on!”

“Time is life. We have a bomb about to go off nearby—”

“A bomb!?” Kamus squeaked.

“—but you said your job is way more important. Tell me why. Six-forty.”

“Okay, okay!” Fauler began to speak in a hurried tone, dropping his salesman persona at once. “Point one. I’m not a diplomat, I’m with the SIS. And my current headache… oh, sod it! Kamus, cliff notes, fast!”

“I’m an employee for Czerka corp, and I found a bunch of documents describing a billion-credit research facility for the study of a ‘type-seven device.’”

“That’s Czerka shorthand for planet-killers,” Fauler finished.

The boss and Kira looked at each other. “So what you’re saying is that Czerka has designed a superweapon?”

“No, they found one here,” Kamus replied. “On Tatooine. It’s beyond ancient, according to the documents.”

“They actually dug it up decades ago, but abandoned it for reasons we’re not clear on. Not entirely, at least. It sounds like the device went haywire, and Czerka bailed rather than clean it up.”

“I think we’re sold,” the boss said defeatedly. Kira knew how he felt. There was no way they could ignore this one now. “What do you need us to do?”

“Oh, thank you so much!” Fauler seized one of the boss’ hands and shook it hard. “You’re a lifesaver! Oh. Time. Mission. Right. So, we need you to search Czerka’s old compound. It’s close to the place where Var Suthra’s facility’s at. About a klick and a half away, as a matter of fact. If you each take one objective, you should be done in—oh, four hours, tops?”

“Four hours?”

“Both of them. You should be done with both of them in four hours. Here, take this comm. It’s a secure line back to me. And only to me.”

“Master,” Kira whispered as they made their way out. “Maybe we should split up.”

The boss hesitated, then shook his head. “I know why you’d say that, but we can’t.”

“But why not? Both objectives are critical. We need to find the Shock Drum before it destroys the planet, but we also need to thwart Czerka. And Master Kiwiiks might not have hours, even the planet does.”

The boss fumbled for a bit before getting his answer straight. “This world… it’s different from Nar Shaddaa or Coruscant. Different from Taris, even. The heat and terrain are so disorienting, and we haven’t even left town yet. I almost lost my head twice getting here from the spaceport. If anything goes wrong, the closest help will be kilometers away.”

“I guess that makes sense…”

He nodded, looking apprehensive. “I understand how you feel, though. This situation… why do we have to be the ones to deal with this? Is Havoc Squad’s mission so much more important than ours? Is Juun’s? Master Nirol’s? Why is it that we get stuck with so many ‘superweapons?’ It wasn’t cool the first time around!” He clammed up after that. Kira couldn’t help but agree.

The boss stumbled and cursed when he stepped out into the sun, reminding Kira to brace herself.

*

No one spoke on the ride out. The suns beat down on them like sledgehammers despite this model of speeder coming with a roof. As the boss predicted, they ran through two bottles before their first hour was out. Kira began to feel dizzy and nauseous despite that medicine she’d taken earlier. At least it kept her from throwing up. She really didn’t want to lose any more water than she had to right now.

“I think that’s it,” the boss said after three hours at top speed. “How strange… I Sense people down there, but can’t see anything except those large woolly beasts...”

<Beast nomenclature = bantha.> T7 informed them. <Their presence = indicates || Tuskens = also present. Tuskens = Sand People = natives: hostile, nomadic, territorial.>

Kira squinted. “I see… I think… yes, I can see movement down there! They’re well camouflaged!"

“I see a few blasters pointed at us. T7, set us down on high ground. We don’t want to lose our ride out here.”

<Affirmative.>

“Kira?”

“Yes, Master?”

“Does the language implant cover their language?”

“I… I don’t think so.”

“I feel bad attacking them. All those guns trained on us, and not one shot fired yet. Let’s try diplomatic first.”

*

The two Jedi approached the closest Tusken slowly, arms outstretched. Vajra felt his head swimming. The air was scorching his throat as he breathed, and the blur of mirage made the air shimmer a mere ten feet away. His head ached so badly, it felt like there was someone trying to break his way out with a hammer and chisel. He had to draw on every iota of his will to keep from stumbling or slipping.

As he walked, he kept an eye on the natives. They regarded him with open hostility, but did not fire. “Do you speak basic?” he asked. “I’d like to talk first.”

The Tuskens did not move for a second, then one stood up. He barked several phrases in an unknown language.

“Can you wait a second?” Vajra asked before reaching for his comm. Five guns refocused on him as he moved. “C2? I need a translator here. I’m speaking to the Tuskens. Do you know their language?”

“Why, of course, Master!” The droid cried out in delight. “I would be delighted to be of service to you!”

“Tell them that I don’t want to fight. Tell them that I request safe passage on their lands.” He coughed, the effort of speaking burning his throat.

C2 complied, replying in the same barks and trumpets that the Tusken had used. The Tusken considered the droid, then responded.

“He wants to know our reason for… ah, visiting.”

Vajra licked his chapped lips. The Tuskens seemed to multiply before his eyes. “Tell them that... that there’s two bombs on this planet which can destroy everything for miles.”

The Tusken’s reply was curt.

“He finds that answer unconvincing, Master.”

“What can we do to persuade him? What if we’re not lying?” He had to take another long draught of water as he waited for the translation.

“He allows that the invaders—offworlders—have brought many dangerous weapons onto these sands. What we say might be true. But he is not happy. He says that this proves that we’re not to be trusted. We’re always coming up with new ways to kill.”

“The Jedi protect. We do not build such weapons.”

There was a stir among the Tuskens for a moment.

“He asks us to wait. They are going to call their chief. He says to not move.”

“Can you tell him we’re not used to this heat? We need a place out of the suns.”

“They agree, but they will not share their black melons with you. I gather that’s where they get their water from.”

“Thank you. And thank you too, C2. Please stand by.”

Shade was difficult to find out here, since rays from two suns covered more ground, literally. In addition, the sands reflected a lot of those rays right back into the air. In the end, one of the Tuskens reluctantly invited them into their tents.

Just as reluctantly, Vajra offered him one of his bottles as thanks. The Tusken looked at him for a moment, then accepted.

“While I like the idea of repaying courtesy with courtesy, this leaves us with just four and a half more bottles each.” Vajra looked at Kira wordlessly, fighting for words. “Are you okay, Master? You look—”

“Better now that we’re out of the sun,” he rasped. “But I’m starting to hate this world. If Master Kiwiiks wasn’t trapped here, I might be willing to just leave this dustball.” He considered his own words for a moment. “After evacuating the people, of course. I’m sure there’s any number of worlds which are better than this one.”

“Yeah. Binary suns… what a riot!” Kira coughed hard into her fist.

*

The chief arrived several minutes later. He conversed with the Tusken on guard for several seconds, looked over the water bottle Vajra had given them, then entered to speak.

“He says that they will give us permission to walk their sands,” C2 translated. “But in exchange, they want this lab in two weeks, including the moisture vaporators.”

“Tell them they have a deal.”

The Tuskens gave Vajra and Kira each a gaffi stick.

“These staves are proof of our deal today. Do not betray it.”

“Thank you for your kindness. We will not forget it.”

The Sand people escorted Vajra inside the lab.

Ah, finally! Shade at last!

The Tuskens had already occupied most of the facility, except for several rooms on the top floor which they were busily trying to crack open.

The chieftain spoke, and the warriors stood aside for the Jedi. Vajra approached the door and pressed the intercom. “Hello? Is anyone inside?”

“Y…y…y…y…”

“My name is Vajra, and I have my Padawan Kira with me. We’re Jedi.”

“Oh… ohh thank goodness! Give us a minute, we’ll get the door open for you!”

“You should know, the Tuskens are still here. We basically came to an arrangement.”

There was silence for a minute. Like the rest of Tatooine, it was a hot one. The bad pun made Vajra want to hit himself. Also… Why did it have to be about the heat!?

“You’re kidding, right?”

“No. I offered terms, they accepted. No one else dies right now.”

There was a sigh. “I’ll take what I can get. At least they haven’t killed any of us yet.”

The door opened to reveal several beings inside. One—probably the one who’d spoken up earlier—was an older human woman with dark skin. The rest were small creatures in hooded brown robes. The only thing he could see was their bright yellow eyes.

“Come on in, Jedi. My name is Hare’en. I’m a seismologist. And these adorable little rascals are my family.”

One of the short aliens spoke in a rapid language.

“I’ll… need translation,” Vajra sighed.

“His name is Brikk. This is his crew. What’s left of them after the Tuskens got the rest.”

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Don’t be. Jawas tend to be light-fingered. Brikk’s crew tried to steal from the Tuskens, so the attack wasn’t completely unwarranted.”

Brikk said something else.

“He’s glad the Tuskens aren’t fighting this time, however. Fewer dead people.”

“You’re in charge of the Shock Drum Project?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Where are the other scientists?”

“They were shipped off-world before the Sith came.”

“Why? I thought they’d be needed to make sure all the documents had been gathered up!”

“Well, that’s what the droids are for.” She pointed at the dozen or so droids still at work in the room.

“Fair enough, I suppose. Now, we need to know what happened here.”

“Well… I don’t know where to start,” Hare’en looked around at the Jawas. “I guess I can start right before things started going south. About three months ago, we finished building the Shock Drum Prototype and used it to level a large block of reinforced ferrocrete. It was then we realized that the Shock Drum’s true potential. Var Suthra, General back then, ordered us to stop developing the weapon and instead look for ways to combat its effects. Shortly after, the Planet Prison incident began.

“Master Kiwiiks showed up, openly annoyed about the weapons projects. But she kept things civil, and helped us wind up our work properly, as opposed to just demanding it all be over with a snap of her fingers. Things were going smoothly until we got invaded by a small army of Imperials. We had defenses, but the Sith in charge tore through them like a wave through a sand castle—”

“Please don’t say sand!”

“Sorry. Anyway. He overwhelmed our defenses and entered the facility. Master Kiwiiks tried to fight him, but he defeated her after a short fight. Took her alive. He left with the Shock Drum. That was… when was that again?” The Jawa chittered. “About five hours ago. No more than six.”

“So it hasn’t been too long yet!” Kira burst out. “We can still save her!”

“And the Sith spared you?” Vajra asked.

“Well… yes. I found it odd, now that you think about it. I lost five brothers, three sisters and an adopted son to marauding Sith. Strange that this one let us go… he seemed almost… disgusted by the idea. He all but ignored us.”

The Jawa interjected, but Hare’en shook her head. “No, he may have destroyed your droids, but he didn’t harm us. He said we were no threat, and didn’t deserve to die!”

“Never known a Sith that could show mercy,” Kira snorted.

“He wasn’t kind, but I certainly wouldn’t call him cruel.”

“So he’s taken my old master, and left with the Shock Drum. Which is about to destroy the planet. Where does that leave us?”

“Brikk, his crew and I were attempting to restore power so we could triangulate the Drum’s location, but the Sand People attacked. Now, if we could just connect the generators…”

“I’ll help. I’m not bad with machines.”

“Since you don’t seem to understand Jawaese, I’d rather you didn’t. You could just get in each other’s way.”

“Alright.”

“Master, we can look into that old Jerka base while we’re waiting.”

“Good call. Let’s go.”

“Wait, what’s this about the Czerka base?”

“Turns out, there’s more than one superweapon on this planet,” Vajra replied, feeling exhausted. He massaged his throbbing temples. “And no one else is ever available.” He had to clam his jaw to keep from ranting again. “Hey, I don’t suppose you have any more water cannisters in here? We’re going through our supply at a dangerous pace.”

“New to this kind of clime? Shame. It takes years and years to get used to it. We have a few tanks of water in the basement, and the vaporators around the facility, but please don’t take too much. We have a lot of mouths to feed. Especially since—” she looked at the Tuskens. “It looks like there will be more people than expected.”

“Come on then. Sooner we get this done, the better.”

*

The Czerka facility was overrun by Gamorreans, who weren’t happy to see two Jedi waltz right in. They put up quite a fight.

The boss allowed Kira to take this one solo, which pleased her. It allowed her to better test where she was at, skills-wise. Her Master was a good Lightsaber instructor and a better friend, but way too good a fighter. Whenever he charged ahead, it was an exercise in futility trying to get in on the action.

And then there were times like Nar Shaddaa, where the boss was just extra kind to Kira.

So today was special. It was the first time since Ord Mantell where he let her fight alone.

The Gamorreans weren’t Jedi or Sith, but they were two meters of raw power. Faster than they looked too. And in such numbers, a threat to any overconfident Jedi.

Kira flipped elegantly over the trio of charging brutes with their vibroaxes, then riposted the blow from a vibrosword. The Saberstaff spun in her hand, throwing the swordsman’s center of gravity into empty space. He collided with two of the Gams behind her. The third joined two others in a combined attack as a fourth held back, waiting for the trio to give him an opening. Which was when she finally noticed the pattern.

Nice job, genius. Only took you five quartets to see through their plan. Guess learning the Lightsaber isn’t the same as learning to be a warrior. Still, I did take down five quartets!

She parried two more axes, then sidestepped the third, which broke on contact with the floor. The power behind the blow surprised her… either that, or the axehead had grown weak from use.

“That’s it,” she nodded approvingly. “Use the force!” She stabbed the shocked Gamorrean through the chest. His comrades attacked with loud squeals, but by now she was used to their attack pattern. It was a simple matter of dodging one, parrying the other, then using momentum to turn her blade into his face. She then speared the stumbling Gamorrean with a downward thrust.

The three stunned Gams stood up and tried again. This time she killed the point man, kicked his dying body into the next one in line, sheared off the third one’s neck, and finally slew the one on the floor.

All seven who still stood squealed and trembled… but they did not break ranks. Family and bonds were everything to these porcine humanoids. Loyalty. It was something Kira could truly respect them for.

They eventually got their morale back and charged. After facing wave after wave of four-Gamorrean teams, the team of seven looked a little daunting. But she managed it.

Dodge, swing. Flip, cut. Parry, stab. Spin kick, cut. Triple cut. Duck, upward jab. She ended with a spinning slash.

“What do you think?” she gasped happily.

“Nice work!” the boss clapped. “Your Lightsaber skills are superb now. But you need to work on things like tactical and situational awareness.”

“Yeah, it took me way too long to realize they were coming at me in groups of four.”

“In addition, you worked up quite a sweat. Bad on this world.”

“Oh, shit,” Kira cursed, finally noticing that her clothes were soaked through.

He handed her a water bottle. “Drink it all,” he instructed her. “And don’t worry about our rations. We can take some from their stores afterwards. He nodded at the downed Gamorreans. “Now stay back. Catch your breath. Cool down. The last thing we need is for you to go all out like that again.”

Kira sat down on a nearby crate, trying to ignore the smell of burnt flesh. She started to feel a little guilty about what she’d just done. She had killed almost forty of these poor guys. They may have been low-level bandits, but did they really deserve to die like this?

She finally understood why her poor friend had almost crumpled after each fight with the Khrayii. He had killed just over two and a half thousand of those savages. Each encounter had left him looking like he had been forced to bite his own heart out. And then there were the Power Guards…

Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit! She hadn’t realized it until now! Well, she had, but never truly appreciated it! She felt a dizziness totally unrelated to the heat of Tatooine.

I owe him a few big favors, she realized. More than I thought I did.

As she watched, T7 unlocked the blast door into the next room. There were a pair of humans inside, along with four more Gamorreans. There was also a man on holo.

“So, what do you say? Do we have a deal?” the man on the holo asked.

The lead Gamorrean—who was dressed in heavy ceremonial armor, marking him as a warlord—grunted assent.

“Marvelous! I have absolutely no idea what you just said, my indelicate friend, but marvelous!"

“I’m sorry to interrupt,” the boss poked his head in. “But I can’t let Czerka claim what’s in that base.”

“Silly Jedi,” the caller scoffed. “What’s inside already belongs to Czerka. You don’t have the authority to take it.”

“It was yours until you abandoned it. Tatooine laws, not mine. And why is Czerka after such a dangerous machine, anyway?”

“I see that rat Kamus hasn’t squeaked about everything just yet. Don’t worry, you won’t live long enough for your lack of insight to matter. Boys, kill him if you will.”

Kira was quite interested in how the boss would approach this fight.

Normally he played a game of attrition, teasing enemies by jumping from one to the next, overwhelming them with his skill and mobility. Today, he went with economy.

One hit, one kill. Minimum movement. He slid out of one attack vector after another, his Lightsaber moving in one, continuous arc to slay each enemy as they reached him. The Czerka mercenaries, predictably, fell to their own reflected blaster fire, though the leader—the one who had held the holocomm—attacked in melee. He fell with the Gams.

Master Vajra crushed the comm beneath his heel as, unprompted, T7 casually rolled up to the computer beyond and began downloading the files.

“Real smooth, Master,” Kira grinned as she walked up to him. She frowned. “Hey, you alright? Not torn up about killing Czerka goons, are you?”

“No…” he said in a small voice. “The exertion was a bit much.”

“I’m sorry?” Kira didn’t quite hear that, but he didn’t repeat his words.

“Hey, can you look for the clan’s water reserves while we wait? I’ll stay and guard T7.”

“Of course, Master. Mind if I just bring it here?”

“Go on.”

Luckily, Gamorreans were not the smartest people. Nor did they have the best short-term memories. Hiding things was difficult for them, as it wasn’t uncommon for them to forget where they left things. The more important something was, the more obvious its location.

The water cans were left lying all over the base. In fact, Kira had rested her ass on one of them. She hummed a merry tune as she filled the empty bottles—the Force was so convenient, allowing her to lift up a twenty-kilo tank like it was nothing—then returned to the adjoining room.

“Our stores are full!” she said brightly, handing over a bottle. “We can even load up a few onto our speeders just in case.”

“Good,” he said after draining it in one go. “We sent the data, we’re just waiting on—ah, perfect.”

His holo started chiming right on cue.

“Hey there, Jedi. We finished looking through some of the data. We also got a call from one ‘Gayem Leksende.’ He was gloating about how he killed you, and promised he’d come for us next.”

“I have no idea who that is.”

“He’s a rich-boy cyborg with a love for dirty work. His dad’s an executive, so he’s enjoyed a life of virtual immunity from consequences.”

“Oh. Sounds like Tarnis, actually.”

“Anyway, he said he was filing an official complaint with the Republic that we’re disputing Czerka’s property rights.”

“Including their ‘rights’ to me,” Kamus interjected sourly. “I read my contract thoroughly! There’s no indenture clause in there! They must have inserted it afterwards if they’re claiming it's there!"

“Don’t worry, my friend! Since you’ve got your original contract with you, we can easily dispute their claims. Still, their representatives in the Senate can excuse any ‘incidents.’”

“Give me their names. I’ll deal with them.”

“Whoa there, boss! That sounded a little dark!”

“Sorry. So what have you found out?”

“One of the files was a personnel listing!” Kamus said excitedly. “It named everyone who worked for the facility!”

“Most of the employees are long gone, but there’s still one out there. He can help us find the facility. His name’s Grommik Kurthson. He was a drifter for a while, until he bought a moisture farm. And the sweet part? It’s close to where you are. Right next door in fact. Just a twenty-minute drive.”

“Great. Let’s get started then.”

Kira noticed her Master freeze and clench his teeth, but neither of them mentioned it. It was just the heat, that’s all.

*

[that-gt-and-vore-stuffs]

Experiment 05SB

Alternatively titled “I’m sorry 2B don’t hate me please”

I hath given in to the M4dc0m brain rot at the cost of me now having written a 7k+ word fic because I’m not confident enough in my art skills to draw it at the moment. Here we go!

Oh, there’s also implied fatal in this (it’s of unnamed characters, plus this is M4dc0m, but I’ve gotta say it. I guess you could take it as reformation if you really wanted to.). Mentions of blood I guess?

As always, Vore under the cut :)

“Ey 2b? You there?” Deimos’s voice crackled to life through the plastic earpiece currently jammed into his left ear, yanking the hacker and unofficial ‘team medic’ as he was called once (much to his own confusion. Sure, he knew basic medical but by no means was he any sort of doctor) back into reality. A brief moment passed in the silence of his room, more often called ‘the lab’, of their base before everything came crashing back at once. Deimos, Sanford, and Hank were out raiding a A.A.H.W warehouse at his instruction. Meaning he was alone in their base, also known as a breaking down appartement they had taken shelter in. It had electricity and provided shelter from the harsh hell scape that had once been the state of Nevada. A dark red sunless sky overhead, vegetation and any ecosystems completely wiped out from what they’d seen, bandits and zeds equally ready to eat the nearest person if it meant living another day, the Agency hunting you down if they thought you’d possibly be working against them or with the infamous Hank J. Wimbleton, and having little to no essential resources for days at a time to top it all off like some twisted cherry on this sick cake. Home sweet fucking home.

“Doc? Helllloooo?” Shit, right. Deimos.

“Sorry, I’m here. What is it Deimos?”

“And the medic lives!” The small cheer was accompanied by laughter from the smallest member of the team. Jebus, how was he able to joke in even the most dire situations?

“Just get to the point, chucklehead.” 2b could hear Sanford add in over the static, the man’s laughter just barely making it to tired ears.

“Right right, sorry man. Anyway, if we wanted to get food on the way back would you say no?” Pardon? There was no way he was hearing that right. There were several reasons why he couldn’t be hearing that right. A. food wasn’t by any means the easiest thing to come by in this hellhole, B. restaurants weren’t really a common thing anymore so those were out of the picture, and C. there’s no way they could p- actually, scratch that last one. Robbing a corpse wouldn’t be the weirdest thing that those three had done. Not by a long shot. Still though, how was he supposed to respond to that request?

“…what?” Apparently by asking the first word on his mind.

“We saw that one hotdog vendor on the way here and we’re all starving. Can we or can we not get hotdogs on the way back?” Oh. That’s what Deimos ment. How on earth had that hotdog vendor not been killed yet?

“Is this a genuine ‘we’ or is it a ‘me’, Deimos?” That seemed like a more fair and answerable question.

“Hey I-!”

“It’s a genuine ‘we’ Doc,” Sanford’s voice chimed in. By the cursing in the background 2b could imagine that he had flipped up Deimos’s mic to temporarily mute him in the realm of their earpieces. “Pretty sure one of our stomachs gave us away to the last group of agents we had to take out. Not gonna point fingers but I’m pretty sure it was Hank- Ack! I’m just saying!”

“Thought we weren’t pointing fingers.” There was the third voice. Rough from years of fighting yet still all too recognizable as Hank. The same Hank J. Wimbleton on the wanted posters that scattered the walls of almost every nearby building, wanted dead by the Auditor and his whole agency. He must’ve smacked Sanford for his comment. Well at least he didn’t do worse, whether on purpose or accident.

“We aren’t. Now Cmon Doc, you never answered my question.” Hearing the other hacker’s voice ask for an answer again 2b sighed. Always eager, wasn’t he? How the man had seemingly endless energy on missions would forever remain a mystery to him, Jebus be damned.

“I don’t really care what you do on the way back so long as you all come back in one piece and with the stuff I sent you there for. Understood?”

“Aye aye, Captain Doc! Over and out!” And there they went. The earpiece went dead, leaving 2b on his own once again once he flicked up his own mic. Back to silence. Sweet sweet silence. It wasn’t often they got that in their shared apartment of a base. Someone was always awake, someone was always saying something. It was never really quiet unless you were lucky enough to be the only one awake. 2BDamned had seen plenty of those rare times, if only because he overworked himself and didn’t sleep. So maybe it was one of his less than desirable qualities, when living in a hellscape being ten steps ahead of the agency trying to kill you is always good. He had to keep that up, on top of keeping the others alive and well.

And then there was his little experiment. That also was taking a toll on how little he slept. Not all that long ago the trio had returned from a mission with the data he had requested and more. Specifically a duffel bag full of seemingly shrunken grunts and two only slightly bigger shrunken MAGs. Pft, how funny it was to say that. A shrunken MAG. Hell, he wouldn’t believe it if you told him with no proof. The idea seemed insane. Oh but it wasn't. Not by a long shot if the cages sitting on one of his tables said anything. Normally he’d call such a thing like keeping people in cages inhumane, not that there were many humane things in this hellhole to begin with. He’d expect keeping them in cages that probably used to be for pets to be a move pulled by the Agency, not himself, however he had to make do with what they could find and had access to. Also known as: not much at all. He wanted to study them after all. Letting them free was just not an option.

Now that probably sounds bad, studying living beings like himself, but one couldn’t blame 2b when you considered his situation (at least he hopes one couldn’t). Somehow the Agency found a way to shrink living beings. That’s power that could be used against him and the others to make everything turn for the worst, something which he wanted to avoid at all costs. However, if one of his teammates or himself were to be shrunken on a mission it would be possibly lifesaving to know how to reverse the effects. Plus, having the power to shrink enemies on their side could certainly prove useful. All that being said, he needed these few alive in order to try and figure out what caused them to be how they were. Hence the repurposed, beat up pet cages. Two of them to be exact. One held the grunts and the other for the two MAG agents. None of them had killed each other yet, so that was nice. A few simple experiments and a dissection of a grunt that had been dead upon arrival to him proved that they still functioned as they would if they were their normal size. Just on a smaller scale. He had sent Hank, Deimos, and Sanford out for supplies today, yes, though if they found any information regarding the shrinking of their little ‘guests’ then they were to bring it to him. With no information on that though, he had to continue his other work. Tired eyes met the screen through red goggles. Moments later his head found itself cushioned in the crook of one of his arms.

“What the hell.” 2b grumbled, a fresh headache slowly starting to pound against the inside of his skull. What the hell was up with him? He should be fine. This was only his second day without proper ‘longer-then-15-minutes’ sleep. He’d gone longer before, he should be able to function. Why was the screen giving him such a headache now of all times? He needed to get stuff done. He needed to finish up this…this……what was he working on again? Hold on, no, he should remember. This shouldn’t be slipping his mind like it is. Maybe if he just thought back a few minutes. It would come back to him, right?

“Ok right before Deimos called, what was I doing?” 2b thought out loud to himself, trying his hardest to recall what had happened prior to the call from his allies. ”I was sitting here…then Deimos called in. Wait, no. Go back. From the top. Since…however long ago I’ve been sitting here, working on…what was I working on before Deimos asked about getting food? I sent them on the raid, didn’t eat, got to work and- no. That’s not it. Why can’t I just-“

Gggnnnnnnrrrr…

Oh well fuck him. That’s why he couldn’t focus. 2b groaned, not bothering to hide the noise as of now. He was alone, no one would hear him or tease him. Unless you would count the shrunken men in the cages, however it wasn’t likely they’d say anything. When you’re the size of a rat, spare the MAGs who were more rabbit sized, to your captor pissing them off seemed like the worst thing one could do. Clearly the hacker wasn’t at all in the mood to deal with teasing, so their mouths remained shut. That left 2b alone to deal with his complaining stomach, a feat which proved easier said than done when one was going off a day and a half without properly sleeping. He couldn’t even remember the last time he ate something. It was all just fuzzing together at this point.

Pushing himself off his desk 2b flopped back into the worn chair he’d been sitting in for God knows how long. Relaxing into the backrest was certainly more comfortable than being hunched over a laptop screen typing away like he had been for the past day or two. A hand fell to rest over his stomach while the other removed his goggles. Those were not helping the blooming headache. A low growl from his stomach drew a small hiss through his teeth, the sound being accompanied by a familiar empty cramping.

“Oh you can shut up.” He grumbled at the organ half heartedly, “It’s not like I can eat anything right now. There’s a reason I sent Hank and the others out.” His stomach growled back, the empty sound ringing in the hacker’s ears. He needed to eat, that was undeniable. The problem was getting something to eat. He had few options, none of which he particularly liked. Option 1. going out to look for something even slightly edible on his own, option 2. wait and hope the others found and brought back food, or option 3. contact the others through his headset and ask them to get him something on the way back. The first option was clearly undesirable on its own and the other two weren’t much better. Sure, asking them to grab something for him would probably be easiest and most logical, however he was almost certain that they didn’t want to hear that out of the blue in the middle of a fight. That and he didn’t want to deal with any teasing that might come along with asking. He wasn’t about to take that chance when he had things to do. He couldn’t remember those things at the moment, sure, but they were still things he had to do! So asking was not an available option at the moment. That left waiting and hoping for the best.

Rrrrrrrnnngggggg….

“I know. I don’t like the idea either.” 2b sighed as he spun around in his chair, gently patting his stomach. He needed to get out of his chair, even if it was just a walk around his room. He needed something after a day and a half straight of sitting there hunched over staring at a screen. Maybe it’d help with the headache if he was lucky. Probably wouldn’t but hey a man could dream. With a small grunt of effort the hacker found himself on his feet, his balance wobbling and legs feeling like brittle pasta beneath him. Ah, that's what I wanted to do earlier. Go figure taking breaks gets ignored by my brain. “However, I do believe it’ll end with the best result. I’m sure they’ll be home soon anyway.”

They wouldn’t. That was a lie, to himself and to his stomach alike. He likely had a few more hours alone, maybe two at least. The A.A.H.W warehouse he’d sent them to was big and if you account for fighting delays and them stopping on the way back then the chance of them being back in the next two hours would be some sort of miracle. By the way his stomach reacted every time he brushed over the thought that the trio was getting food on the way back then he wasn’t going to be looking so hot by the time they arrived back. Oh he was going to get the short end of the stick no matter what he did, wasn’t he? Talk about luck. 2b sighed, running a hand up and through his hair as he walked along one of the walls of his small room. His stomach clearly wasn’t shutting up any time soon so the next best course of action would be to ignore it. Maybe that would help him wait it out. What could he focus on? There was work, he could clean up a little bit maybe, or he could focus on the rattling coming from the cages and-

Hold on.

That most certainly wasn’t right. 2b cocked an eyebrow, crossing the room to where the three cages were placed. Quite the interesting scene was playing out before him. From what he could see a few of the shrunken grunts were teaming up to try and break out of the cages. This wasn’t their first little escape attempt, no, but it interested him enough as he stood there watching and attempting to grab his tablet at the same time. Eventually he had succeeded, opening up a new document to scribble down a few notes.

Title: Log 073SB

Time: 6:34 pm, xx/xx/xx

Author: 2BDamned

Note: Grunts working together to attempt escape. MAG agent seems to be attempting to cause a distraction by rattling the wall of the cage. Or perhaps they just want out. Very annoying either way. None seem bothered by my presence.

Satisfied with his little note, 2b closed the tablet and set it down on the counter next to one of the cages. Whether it was him being too rough with setting the tablet down or the low grumble from his stomach that startled the cage of grunts was up for debate, but currently he couldn’t find it in himself to care. Right now he needed to have a chat with the little troublemakers. Without hesitation the unofficial medic reached forward, opening the little hinged door located on top of the cage with ease compared to what the grunts inside were attempting before. He didn’t think twice before he reached in and grabbed the two topmost grunts from the pile of attempted escapees before retracting his hand, repeating the process with his other hand, and finally closing the cage. Hands now full, each holding two fighting bodies, the hacker sighed.

“Escape huh? How many times have you already tried that and it didn’t work?” 2b asked, a less than impressed tone lacing his voice. Sure, he needed a distraction from his stomach but he didn’t want to have to deal with escape attempts left and right for the next however long. “What made you think it’d go any different this time?”

There was a moment of silence before a soft voice spoke up, one that clearly hadn’t been used recently. One of the grunts in his left hand. “W-we figured i-if we actually tried and w-worked together then maybe we’d b-be able to manage a successful…e-escape…”

“Really now? Interesting.” 2b mumbled, looking over the grunt in his hand. They were all so small. You’d think he’d have gotten used to their size by now but every time he held one it seemed to slap him in the face. Offing them if they got too rowdy wouldn’t be hard at all. Wouldn’t need to use anything to begin with. How crazy it was. “Though I’m not sure I can let this slide as I have with previous instances.”

“W-what?” His response seemed to temporarily stun the four in his hands, most likely because of how it was different from his previous comments on their attempted escapes. A shiver passed over them like a wave while the hacker only nodded.

“Your previous attempts at escape. While I can understand why one would try I’ve made it quite clear that successful escapes won’t be happening nor tolerated, correct? I need to prove my point here because you all clearly don’t understand words.” He shifted on his feet slightly, a new question wracking his brain. What could he do to show he wasn’t going to deal with constant escape attempts? It had to be something that stuck, seeing as they clearly didn’t understand his earlier comments about escape not being tolerated. Only a few moments of silence passed before his lips were moving again. “You four are going somewhere else. A stronger holding space. If any of the others try anything they’ll join you. Simple, yet effective.” Or it would be if he knew exactly where he planned to stick these four. What did he have that could serve as a stronger cell for them? The cages were already pretty secure in terms of what he could work with. He just needed something stronger, close to him, hard to escape, and threatening that held a sense of danger with it. But what could that be? His eyes darted around the makeshift lab, trying to find something.

Grrrrroowwwllll…

2b’s eyes slowly scanned down from his shaking captives to his stomach. For a moment he just stared, eyes lacking any readable emotion. Well now that was certainly an option. It fit his criteria. Almost too well. Strong, hard to escape, close to him, and it held a sense of danger. Under his mask his torn and scared lips quirked up into a little smirk. “Mmhm. That’ll do quite nicely, in fact~”

The final moments of peace were shattered as the meaning of his words collided with his captives like a well aimed punch to the gut. Hearts sunk to their feet like rocks in water, despair rearing it’s head in their struggles. Those fortunate enough to remain in the cages simply watched with a muted horror as the four bodies were tossed onto the table and held down with little to no effort. The hacker wasted no time removing the mask and bandages that usually covered his mouth, tossing the fabrics haphazardly beside his discarded tablet. Despite the word fresh being the last thing he’d use to describe the Nevada air, 2b knew he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t nice to just breathe the air in alone and not through the layers of fabric like he often did. With the temporary roadblock now gone his eyes drifted downward to the bodies pinned beneath his hand.

“Well, I believe that eliminates any preventable issues we could encounter here.” He hummed softly, plucking the grunt who was covered by his hand the least up into the air. It certainly was odd to watch the little body squirm and fight against him, all attacks on the two fingers holding it proving futile. Their only hope seemed to be 2b letting them go, something which proved less and less likely the longer they studied the look in the hackers eyes. It wasn’t a look one ever wanted to find themself on the receiving end of. The sight of sharp teeth, glimmering with saliva through grinning lips, certainly did not help to lower the grunt’s heart rate at all. 2b simply clicked his tongue. “Meaning stalling time is up. Stay still, won’t you?”

The grunt did not, in fact, stay still. It was impossible to do so as far as they knew when you had a spit soaked tongue dragging up every inch of your front, sharp daggers of teeth only millimeters from their face. A deafening silence washed over the others, only being broken by a small pleased hum from their normal sized captor.

“Not bad…” the man mumbled, dragging his tongue up the squirming grunt yet again. A small voice in the back of his mind, his voice of reason, yelled out the obvious loud and clear to him plenty of times: this was wrong. It wasn’t right to be doing what he was about to do. This was stooping down to the bandits level, something he never intended to do unless absolutely necessary. He shouldn’t be enjoying the taste of another living being like this. And yet…here he was. Ignoring any logic and reason in his mind to proceed with this. Thank goodness he was alone. 2b didn’t even want to think about what the others might say if they were to see him how he was now. Shaking his head softly he shoved away the thought, opening his jaw as far as the joint and scarred tissue that made up his cheeks would allow. He wasn’t sure whether to be impressed or concerned with how easily the small body slipped into his mouth.

Despite their best efforts to squirm free of their new confinement, the slippery surroundings of the unofficial doctor’s maw proved to have horrible traction. Saliva dropped onto the unfortunate grunt’s head from above while they desperately tried to crawl out of the dark cavern. Feet scrambled on the soaked surface of their predator’s tongue as the muscle moved and flipped them around as if they were some piece of candy, all while their hands desperately tried to keep as little of them between the axe like teeth. One bite and they were done for, a terrifying thought. Through it all only three sounds were ever heard from those lucky enough to not be in the current grunt’s position. The sickening sounds of soaked struggle, terrified yelps from the grunt stuck within 2b’s jaws, and the occasional hum from the man himself. The torture, as those watching from the cage would describe it, seemed to continue for hours and hours on end.

Glk

Glp~

Until it all stopped with two simple swallows and a collective gasp of horror from those watching. The relaxed posture of the man they all watched failed to help their situation.

“H….huhh…that was..” the uncertified medic breathed, breaking the silence. His free hand lazily felt down his throat, tracing where he could feel the squirming body slip further down by the second. It didn’t take a genius to decipher that the less angry sounding gurgle from the man’s stomach signaled the end of the unfortunate grunt’s descent. With eyes widened just beyond his natural look 2b gently pressed his stomach. How interesting it was, as morbid as it might sound, to feel something squirming around inside the organ. Before he could even stop to consider a better way to word his thoughts, he finished his sentence. Just not in the way the grunts wanted to hear. “…incredibly easy.”

The last thing any of the remaining grunts wanted to see was those eyes scan up slowly before locking on them as if they were some sort of dessert. The clearly out of place smile on the man’s face didn’t help the feeling of impending doom either. If anything it only made it worse as a rough hand plucked another grunt from the selected three that had remained under his hand. Down, beneath his newfound curiosity and odd urge to continue what he was doing, 2b knew he should have been more concerned about how easy this was coming to him. No sane person would take so calmly to swallowing living beings, especially not of his own kind. Yet here he was, smirking as he licked over his scarred lips with cold eyes locked onto the small shaking body like a cat would after spotting a mouse. Looking at their sizes in comparison to one another? The simile was scarily accurate. Through his whole little mental debate the hacker found it all too easy to slip the small body into his mouth, licking it over to draw out as much of that strangely addicting taste before slowly beginning to nudge it back. Just bit by bit until it was far enough.

Glrk

Grk~

“Two down…haahhh…two to go…” the hacker sighed as he traced the lump down his throat. There was a waiting period once more but it didn’t last long before the shiver inducing gurgle signified where the poor soul had ended up. How the man hadn’t gotten sick yet was beyond the understanding of those who witnessed the event and even the man himself. Surely he should feel at least a little nauseous with two rat sized bodies squirming within his stomach. Nausea and fullness were the two sensations he had expected by now and yet neither had shown their face yet. Deep within his mind, from an area he didn’t even know existed until it spoke, a voice urged him to test his limits. 2b had shaken that idea off nearly immediately. As….enticing as that idea was, he still needed a few of the shrunken grunts alive and well to continue his attempts to recreate and reverse however the Agency had shrunken them before. Four however….well that wasn’t the biggest loss in the world if something happened to go wrong. Leaning a little more heavily over the table he grabbed one of the last two grunts, shoving the struggling body into his mouth head first. Quite the sight it was to watch flailing legs be slurped into someone’s mouth like nothing more than wet noodles. Interesting and horrifying.

Glp

Glrk~

Though compared to seeing someone who had been beside you ten minutes ago disappear down your captor’s throat as nothing more than a barely visible lump would top it in the scarring scale. Nothing could compare to that sight. Good god was it terrifying. The reality that escape was impossible was all but cemented into the remaining grunts' brains now, as that had been what had gotten their companions into this situation in the first place. This was happening because their capturer wanted to prove his point that attempted escape would not be tolerated. At this point they were convinced they’d have to have a death wish to attempt escape now. Especially when their conditions weren’t horrible compared to what they could be in, something which hadn’t crossed their minds till now. Now don’t take their words wrong, by no means did they want to stay here. Especially not now. However, if it meant living another day and not ending up as lunch? Staying definitely was the preferable option.

“One to go. Damn.” The hacker's voice snapped all attention back to him. His position had changed, now leaning back on the table as he looked over the struggling form in his hands. The words seemed to flow from his mouth without too much thought needed behind them. They just felt…right. It was a feeling he never expected to experience in such a context that he was now, much less to have it almost piloting him as it felt now, but he was nearly willing to say he welcomed it. He wasn't well acquainted with the idea of eating living beings after all, so the subconscious help to ease the process along wasn’t something he’d push away. Not unless it were to cause an issue that is. However, nothing of the sort had happened yet, meaning he was going to keep letting his actions flow naturally.

Just as he had with the three before this one, 2b wasted little time starting towards his goal. Raising the grunt just above his head the man dangled the flailing body over his open mouth, a sight that he could assume would terrify anyone in the grunt’s position. All went smoothly as he lowered the small body in. That is until the grunt, having seen an opportunity and taken it, grabbed and yanked down his mic. While he tried to react as quickly as possible, he could only pray the microphone had not managed to pick up the gag he’d made after panic and shock had caused him to jolt forward and send the grunt to the back of his throat. He flipped up the mic as fast as he could, trying to determine the best course of action one could take with a squirming body halfway down their throat and a possibility of having just been ratted out to the others by their lunch. He was screwed were they to find out, what with how at least two of the three always seemed to be looking for teasing ammunition. That and this….well this wasn’t exactly normal, you know.

“Doc? Is everything ok over there?” Fuck. That wasn’t good. Ignoring the sinking feeling of dread in his chest the best he could, 2b took a deep breath and forced the fourth grunt down with a swallow that took a little more effort then he felt it should’ve. Flipping down the mic, he answered.

“Damnit- yes. I'm fine, Sanford. Don’t worry.” The sentence had to be his least convincing lie yet. Between his heavy breathing and dryness in his throat he could tell his voice wasn’t helping him in any way. Now he didn’t take his teammates for idiots, despite how it sure seemed like they were sometimes, but in the moment he found himself wishing they were.

“You sure? You don’t sound all that fine. Did something happen back at base?” The worry beginning to lace the man’s voice through the static filled earpiece only served to worsen the feeling of dread in 2b’s chest. He needed to get Sanford, and the others who were no doubt listening, off the idea something had happened. He needed to deal with the whole I-just-swallowed-four-people-alive thing before they came back, so them returning early was not in the plan.

“No, nothing happened.” He shot back, only realizing the speed in his voice wasn’t too reassuring after he said it. Ok, what was a believable excuse for why he sounded like he did? “I just…spilt coffee on my legs after burning my mouth. Must’ve knocked the mic down in the process.” With a hand to his chest the hacker forced a soft swallow, trying to at least get rid of the uncomfortable dryness that had settled in the back of his throat. Please say they believed that.

“Pft, really? Damn, wish I could’ve seen that. Think you looked like one of those old cartoons, Doc?” Phew, crisis averted.

“Real funny, Deimos. Get back to your mission.” 2b shook his head at the comment. At least they seemed to believe him. It was worth it, even if the mental image of those over exaggerated cartoon characters was now going to show up whenever he even slightly burnt his mouth on coffee. Oh well, some sacrifices must be made.

“Alright alright. We’re going.” The man on the other end laughed. Those idiots. Damn his heart caring for them, now he was attached. “See you when we get back. Over and out, Doc!” And there they went.

Fighting off his own soft laughter, 2b flipped up his mic. A soft sigh escaped him before he could even think to stop it. That could’ve been horrible. While one hand softly rubbed at his neck, sore from what he had to guess was the miniature disaster that just took place, the other gently laid itself over his stomach. The four inside never seemed to stop moving, constantly squirming and slipping about. There were a handful of reasons he could assume was the cause, though the most likely was that being shoved into a soaking wet moving sack with three of your colleagues provided little traction or ability to get comfortable. That and panic. Panic was probably a rather big factor in how they were feeling. 2b, on the other hand, had to be feeling the exact opposite of how they were. The warm weight of his four ‘victims’ was a welcome sensation within the previously empty pit of his stomach. As twisted as he knew it sounded, he would’ve been confident saying that what he was feeling was honestly satisfactory. Why having living beings stretch and actually round out his stomach in a barely noticeable way was causing this feeling was a mystery to him, but at the moment he couldn’t find it in himself to care. Not when it felt this nice.

“I hope I’ve made my point clear.” The unofficial medic hummed, looking over to the grunt filled cage. They had backed away from him by now, huddled in the back most corner of their confines. The sight drew a genuine laugh from the man they all seemed to fear ten times more than before. Well that was proof if he’d ever seen it. Looks like their escape wasn’t something he had to worry about any more. So maybe he sacrificed a little of his ‘I’m not going to hurt you’ act for this. It was worth it in his eyes. And besides, he was probably the most gentle with them out of his whole little gang. If they wanted to be left with one of the others then go ahead. Although being left with the mercenary who you were created to kill didn’t sound like the most fun time to him. Smirking, he collected his goggles, mask, and tablet from the table. “It seems I have. Glad we could have this little -hic!- chat. Heh.”

He gave the cage a pat, the rattling of the metal only serving to scare the grunts further back in the ball of bodies they’d curled into, before turning to walk back to his desk. He needed to sit down. Standing apparently became a lot harder when you had four people fighting against your insides. Thinking back, he didn’t know what he would have expected. Did he stumble a little bit trying to get back to his desk? Yes, he did. It was like he forgot how to walk in all honesty. Another reason he was glad he was alone in their base. Like most things though it proved worth it when he finally collapsed into the worn chair he used for work. Without thinking twice he opened his tablet and started a new log.

—————————

“Doc! We’re back!” The call rang out through the appartement, followed by three sets of footsteps marching their way in and the door slamming shut perhaps a little stronger than needed. As the hinges of the door stopped rattling the three expected to hear a displeased groan, followed by the ruffled form of 2b appearing in the hallway to scold them for being so aggressive or something like tracking blood into the base. Honestly, why he still bothered was a mystery to them, at least Sanford and Deimos for they had zero clue what went on in Hank’s head, for the most part. They were mercenaries, fighters, people looking to not end up with their brains splattered on the wall or something worse. They were going to be bloody upon returning, even if that blood wasn’t their own. It wasn’t like their floors were carpet or anything either. In the end though they never bothered to fight the scoldings. No use making the unofficial medic mad, especially if they needed help. The lack of disgruntled medic in the hallway or at least yelling when silence returned to the room was worrying. After a minute or two with nothing spoken and no ruffled hacker to be seen, Deimos tried again to call him.

“2b?” He called out, peering down the hallway which led to their rooms. There wasn’t any blood on the walls, a good sign to start, and no bullet holes that weren’t there before. Unless the Agency suddenly learned how to do stealth missions, something he and he knew the other two were hoping wasn’t the case, he had hopes. Again, no response from the man. Gun still in his hand he took one glance back to the others, a silent ‘follow me’, before continuing down the hallway. Although Deimos had made it to the closed door first he’d been pushed past by the red goggle wearing giant as he reached for the doorknob. Hank had been the one to open the door to 2b’s room. He’d also been the first of the trio to feel the tension in his shoulders drop. It wasn’t long after he had relaxed that he was shoved into the room by two bodies trying to get in and see any damage that could’ve been done while they were gone. The sight of 2BDamned softly snoring away in his chair, nothing in the room seeming out of place, was most certainly a welcome one.

“Ah. So that’s why he isn’t barking us up a tree for your entrance, Dei.” Sanford hummed with a laugh, careful to watch his volume. If there was one thing he didn’t want to deal with after their mission it was a cranky Doc who got woken up by them. It wasn’t a secret he didn’t necessarily sleep after all and there was no way he could survive off coffee like he seemed to silently claim he could sometimes. They all had times when their sleep schedules were fucked.

“Oh shut up, ‘Ford.” Deimos shot back with a playful punch to the man’s bicep. “It’s not like I’m the one who slammed the door. That’s what he would’ve been on our asses about.”

“You slammed it open then yelled loud enough for all of Nevada to hear you. Don’t act like you’re innocent!”

As the two’s words morphed into friendly bickering Hank took it upon himself to deliver the bit of what they got that couldn’t stay in the duffle bag slung over his shoulder at the moment. Buried in the pocket of his jacket was a small object. Something he hadn’t expected to find, but had snagged nonetheless when it had been pointed out by Deimos. For a second as he walked over to the man a rough hand dug around fabric, fingers gripping plastic as he arrived at his destination. Without thinking he tossed the USB onto the hacker’s desk, eyes wandering over small things like the empty coffee mug or discarded goggles. Behind red-tinted goggles they landed on the man’s tablet, the screen now illuminated thanks to what he could assume had been the small drive hitting the desk. Prying wasn’t something he often did when it came to his teammates, respecting their privacy as they often did his, but after a certain word caught his eye he couldn’t help but read the log that had popped up.

Title: Experiment 05SB

Time: 7:42 pm, xx/xx/xx

Author: 2BDamned

Note: I…cannot believe I’m about to write this. This is update one of Experiment 05SB, an experiment started without much if any bit of a proper plan behind it. Phase I, I suppose you could call it, was a success. The shrunken grunts are, in fact, small enough to swallow whole and…alive. MAGs have not yet been confirmed to be the same way, though I’m sure that answer will show itself one day. I am unsure why I am able to keep four of them down without feeling nauseated, but I can. I will update at a later time when more information has presented itself.

The log ended there, eyes falling away from the screen as Hank’s mind worked to process the information it had just been given. According to what had been written before the man had fallen victim to sleep, it was not only possible to swallow the shrunken beings sitting in one of the cages behind him, but the unofficial doctor had done it himself. Four times to be exact. Curiosity grabbed control of his eyes, slowly panning them up to the cage of grunts who looked noticeably more terrified than they usually did. Had they seen the whole thing go down? His mind continued to wander, finding new questions like how on earth the hacker had managed to keep living and no doubt moving beings down like the log said he did. That is unless he’d spit them up before falling asleep. However that seemed highly unlikely-

“Snooping around Doc’s stuff, are we Hank~?” When Deimos had appeared behind him was beyond the mercenary, though the shock of hearing his voice out of the blue was enough to startle him into quickly powering off 2b’s tablet and whipping around to face the two that now stood across with him with far too smug looks on their faces for his liking.

“Woah there, big guy! We didn’t mean any trouble.” Sanford cooed, the fucking Chad cooed, holding his hands up as if he was under some sort of arrest. “Just wanted to know what you were reading over here is all~.”

“Yeah, exactly. I never expected to find you clicking through Doc’s diary.” Deimos added on nearly flawlessly. Sometimes he really hated how well they worked together. Namely when it was against him. “So, was it a love confession~?”

Hank sighed, glaring at the two through his goggles. He sure fucking hoped they could see the look on his face, despite most of it being covered by bandages and his mask. Because he was not amused and he wanted them to know it.

“No, not a love confession, you morons.” He groaned, shaking his head. Telling them straight off what it said would probably be horrible. At the moment he was still having a few difficulties understanding parts of what he read. Lying just seemed like the best choice overall. It wasn’t like he’d be the only one doing so, after all. It sure seemed like 2b did to them over the mic. Speaking of the man, Hank turned around to take a good look at him. At first glance he seemed like he normally did when he passed out in his chair from overworking himself like this. It was only when Hank took an extra second to look and let the information in his brain guide him did he see the slightly out of place softness around the sleeping hacker’s stomach. Unable to help himself Hank felt his ruined remaining lip quirk up into a small smirk under his mask as he turned around to shove the Dumbass Duo out of the room so 2b could sleep.

“Bunch’a nonsense, is all. Now move. I don’t wanna deal with him if you idiots wake him up and we still have shit to put away.”

[robinrequiems]

mmm more clishes.... Idk reverse background or personality kind of au? :/

ill do you one better 1 of my favorite mutual, reverse & personality au, they’re the same age bc I have a tiny idea *shy hands*

this is uh. a really long one thay started to lag my phone too

• oh god guys I got vivid memories of ra’s being a good grandfather and I can’t get it out of my head

• i hate it ur honor

• but ok. krypton didn’t get blown up, instead, they all migrated to earth, more specifically kansas.

• the kryptonians are angry and enraged, they are treated as if they are monsters when they arrived peacefully. they tried to kill them.

• so in return, the aliens killed the humans.

• they created a secret underground. that secret underground is to help aliens or meta humans and kill humans.

• all of them hated aliens and sought to destroy them. until kal el found a reporter trying to help aliens who were injured due to an explosion the government did to take out one of their bases.

• kal el.. fell in love with her. lois lane, she is an reporter fighting for alien rights.

• he met with her. in secret. and they.. had formed a connection. an amazing one.

• and then they had a baby.

• at the alien base, but.. she was human and people did not like that. so they wiped her mind and made her believe that they never had a kid. like the last few months.. wasnt real. she had gone missing those months since the aliens didn’t want her trying to hide the baby, they made her believe the last few months was spent in a coma and kal had found her and taken her to a hospital.

• he couldn’t see her anymore. he mourned for her lost presence, but they would have killed her if she stayed.

• but now they had precious jon el. he would be the highlight of their cause.

• they noticed his powers came in faster than kal’s, so they perfected his powers.

• he was going to bring humanity down on order of his grandfather, jor el

• kal saw his son break slowly. loses that childhood innocence that kal tried to maintain.

• his sons amazing bright blue eyes dulling, loses the spark that he cherished.

• kal was going to get him out of there, try to refuge the remaining childhood he had. even if it killed him.

—

• damian wayne! the bright bubbly and prodigal son of bruce and talia wayne ( b & t are married, suck my— ). the press loved him, he was just.. him. he was the baby and was cute, the cutest ever

• he was an expert in martial arts due to the training his grandfather, father, mother, & so much more gave him

• ra’s owns a farm. he’s.. sorry all i get is farm ra’s vibes due to.. something:) think endgame thanos, yk?

• he was the baby robin, one that you never messed with due to the herd of heroes who would come save him

—

• kalel left jon with Lois, a brief note explaining the current situation

• it was weird, jon was ten and was meeting lois for the first time

“Hi, honey.. I’m lois.”

“I know.. Dad told me about you.”

“Oh.. right. What do you want for dinner?”

“I’m not hungry.”

“You have to eat.”

“No! I’m not hungry!”

• an explosive, superpower alien. Lois is way out of her head.

• he had outbursts, a lot of them. it was hard, really hard for Lois; she took some time off from the planet and focused on jon

• he broke a lot of stuff. he sometimes could not control his strength, but she was working with him

• but then one night he ran away, or flew away. he felt remorse for making Lois cry. she saw this as a win, but she lost her kid

• but then a little robin found him

“Um. Are you okay?”

“Huh-what- what do you want? Why are you talking to me?”

“Because you look sad? Yknow - hugs make people feel better. My ahki ( brother ) hugs me when I’m upset and it makes me feel better.”

“Don’t touch me.”

*Damian walked to him, smiling softly* “cmon, i won’t hurt you, silly. I’m robin.”

“A bird?”

“Haha- no, a vigilante- i sorta snuck out. My family can be a bit overbearing- and I sorta embarrassed myself at this theater thing.. some person—“

“Did I ask?”

“No.. sorry.”

“Hey— what are you doing - !”

“Hugging you.”

Jon won’t admit that he likes it, it’s different and weird, like this traffic cone in front of him. Jon pushed him off though, making himself stumble and fall on his ass.

“Ow..”

“Don’t touch me.” With rhat, Jon flew off into the night. Damian didn’t know who this boy was. But he intended on finding out. Even if it killed him. ( maybe not that extreme, but- )

• look damian was smart, right? smarter than average, and smarter than everyone in his school. teachers included ( ha ha )

• so he had to find this boy! so he started looking into aliens. until his family put an end to it

“Damian, this is dangerous.”

“But baba ( dad )”

“No. Go to your room.”

“Ugh!”

• he did slam his door shut if you were wondering

• he will find the mysterious alien boy, okay? he will!

• his brothers teased him and said he had a crush

• no he didn’t! the boy was really mean, he pushed damian- why would he do that? whatta jerk!

• but damian did find him again when he ventured off to metropolis to visit an old friend, colin.

“Alien boy!”

“That’s not my name, bird boy.”

“And that’s not mine. You didn’t tell me yours!”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“It’s safer for you.”

“I can defend myself. You sound so silly, please tell me your name?”

“No.”

“‘Least the first initial?”

“Fine. J.”

“J it is.”

“Yours?”

“Wha- what? I told you my code named.”

“It’s only fair.”

“.. Okay. D.”

“D. Okay.”

• damian talked to him for a bit before jon did fly off when damian was talking about the stars, damian knew he was getting closer to him

• but he got grounded. whoops. he wasn’t supposed to go out

“Give me your phone, Damian.”

“What if I go out? I need a phone, baba.”

“I.. Your computer”

“School work.”

“Switch.”

“What! No- but-!”

“Damian.”

• yeah damian was very mad, but what made him madder was that apparently, his family was listening to the secret conversations between J and him. but d didn’t know that yet..

• his family needed to track down J, they didn’t care if people were aliens, the JL had aliens.. but they had no idea who this boy was, and the way damian was looking into the underground alien sanctuary, that worried rhem. Damian was smart and cunning, but he is able to portray an innocent persona, they all had the habit of undermining his intellect, so if damian began looking into this, it was for a reason

—

• jon found that D rambled. A lot. Even when jon didn’t respond. Jon doesn’t even know how D always found where he was. It’s so weird.

• but Lois noticed a change in jon.. he was. calmer. she didn’t know how, but when he went out, he came back calmer.

“I have to go to Gotham for a gala hosted by Bruce Wayne, would you.. like to come?”

“Do you want me to?”

“I’d like you to, but you don’t have to.”

“.. Fine.”

—

• lois walked to bruce with Jon in tow.

• “bruce.” “Lois, looking lovely as always.. who is this?” “Jon, my son. Say hi, Jon.” “Hi..” “He can hang around one of my sons— Damian, if you want? I’m sure him and his friends would love to have Jon around.” “What do you say Jon? Would you like that?” “Not really..” “I assume you, Damian doesn’t bite. Not anymore. And he’s pretty accepting.” “.. Fine.”

• damian was called over by his father and he did a double take. J. Was here. In front of him. Damian just internally shrugged and held a hand out, “Hi! I’m Damian! Wanna go play with my friends! there’s a game room so we don’t have to be with the gross adults.. you can also just.. sit there. My friends are pretty.. Loud?” “Okay.”

• jon had to take his hand back from damian since damian began eagerly tugging him.

“Damian seems to be accepting him pretty easily.” “I hope they can be friends, Jon.. doesn’t have any. I have only recently got him from his.. father.” “Odd, does he go to school?” “No, not yet, I’m still trying to get him adjusted.” “Ah.. Damian goes to West-Reeves. Maybe he could go there?” “That private school? Bruce.. I cannot afford that- not all of us are millionaires.” “Mhm.. I could pay.” “I can’t let you do that.” “He could get a scholarship.” “In what?” “Academics or athletics.” “Ill.. Talk to him about it. “ “well, ms lane, I just go talk with potential partners, I’ll see you later.”

—

• j got accepted into west reeves under a athletic thingy.

• that was cool. they became best friends!

• sorta

• flashforward 5 years to 15, their dynamic only grew. Damian told Jon his identity, jon didn’t become a hero, but did learn how to stitch damian up because tje idiot showed up bleeding a lot.

• everything was going great

On the phone, Damian: J! J! Guess what’

J: you’re so loud, D, what?

D: I got the lead! In the play!

J: no fucking way?

D: way!

J: Good j—— *crash*

D: J-?

D: J- Jonathan?

D: oh no.

• the call was ended abruptly. Jon always finished his sentences. Something was wrong. Something was really wrong.

• so damian called Lois quickly and ran downstairs to the batcave, lois wasn’t picking up either, she normally always picked up or at least sent a text. She did neither

“Baba!”

“Damian? You should be asleep.”

“Something’s wrong! Somethings really wrong!”

“Jon and Lois- Jon- I heard a crash- and- and”

“Habibi.”

“Mama?”

“Breathe; tell me what’s wrong.”

“I was on a call with Jon.. I told him about the play since I wanted him to go and stuff. Then I heard a crash. And then the line went dead. I’m scared— what if something happened!”

“Let’s not jump to conclusions, what happened with Lois?”

“She didn’t pick up the phone— she normally does! Or she texts me and says she will call back!”

“Maybe she is asleep.”

“No! You need to believe me!”

“Damian, calm down, I do, we will go to see if they’re okay, you get back to bed.”

“No. I’m coming with.”

“No you arent.”

“But!”

“Listen to your father.”

• okay fine. He’ll listen, damian went back up to his room for half an hour before calling his friends to do a rescue mission. He had an extra suit in his room, he can do this.

• with his team, it consisted of shazam, abuse, nobody, and green lantern, himself too, of course.

• captain marvel picked him up once he was ready and they met up with the other 3.

Maya: you said he’s in trouble?

Dami: Yes.

Colin: than let’s go save him!

• they went and saved the bestie, nearly got killed too

• oh and now damians sorta probably grounded when batman shows up 🤡

J:You came for me..?

D:We all did.. why are you so surprised?

J: * wraps his arms around damian * thank you

D: i- yeah.. anytime. what’re friends for?

• friends. Jon liked that. Jon also liked the way Damian’s cheeks went red when jon hugged him

• jon knew he chuckled before Damian’s arms wrapped around him. hard. Damian was a hard hugger

• jon became a superhero at 16. Damian had even more of a reason to sneak into his window every night now! Lois had began thinking the two were dating

D: Us? Dating? Please! He is way too good for me!

J:

L: awwww, gosh, how haven’t you been swept off your feet yet?

J: he has, but he has rejected them all

D: what can I say? I’m a gay theater kid ( this is a /j i promise a big big joke ) so they gotta be dramatic enough to put up with me, AND they need to do something big and bold to actually catch my eye

L: *laughs* take notes, jon

J: mom!

• jon has gone to a few of Damian’s plays and to dress rehearsals

• he was also there to watch damian wreck a car during his drivers test

D: there was a fricking squirrel there, J!

J: are you sure? maybe you’re just a shitty driver?

D: you’re a shitty driver!

J: cmon don’t pout

D: ‘m not!

• he was pouting. oopsie. jon did get him ice cream after

• jon goes by abnormal, because he’s an alien and because I don’t have any other ideas

J: this girl asked me out

M: oh? who! tell us!

D: ..what?

J: yeah, in my physics class

T: ooh! get it, jonno

M: give us a name, coward!

J: her name is Charlotte— but she goes by charlie. she’s.. different. red head. pretty freckles—

M: pretty freckles? does Jonny have a crush?! Oh my gosh, our sons growing up, Tai!

T: im about to start sobbing

J: fuck offff— D?

D: huh?

J: you’re being quiet, you plotting??

D: uh. yeah! duh- *he nudged jons shoulder with his, forcing a grin* figuring out ways to embarrass you in front of your girlfriend.

J: sucha brat- * jon ended up putting Damian into a playfully chokehold *

• damian just played along. he just smiled and watched as jon began walking with her instead of their friend group

M: hey- kid- you alright?

D: I’m onto a year younger than you Maya.

M: tou didn’t answer the question

D: I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be? You’re silly.

• tai ended up pulling him aside

T: when are you going to tell him?

D: how am I supposed to when he basically has a girlfriend now?

T: are you just gonna sit there and pine all day??

D: yes, thank you for understanding

• he’s a stubborn little shit and will absolutely not confess, his best friend is happy, who is he to ruin that?

T: he’s totally jealous.

J: so- do you- do you think it’ll work? That he’ll be surprised?

T: totally

J: thank you for lending me your girlfriend, Maya

M: anytime- not literally- you aren’t having her again

• this was all a trick, sorry, d.. jon does like you

• ( hope you all saw that foreshadowing earlier :) )

• damian needed big and dramatic. jon was gonna do that. even if he was uh. sorta aloof and shy.

• he learned how to sing and play the guitar for Damian. maya and tai were gonna scatter flower petals onto the floor for Damian to follow ( they will tell him too too )

• the whole school will probably watch as Damian finally gets a big dramatic proposal

• damian will love it

M: just follow the petals!

D: I’m confused

M: trust us

• damian did and followed the petals and low and behold, jon kent with a guitar and small smile

D: j-jon?

J: hey. I wrote you a song

D: no you didn’t

J: shut up and listen dumbass

*after that amazing song of how Jon asked damian out to homecoming*

D: that was amazing

J: dramatic enough for you?

D: YES! ( damian went and sprinted to jon, hugging him so tightly before leaning in to kiss him ) we are boyfriends now right

J: yeah, idiot

D: ur the idiot

• I can’t add anymore because myphones really laggy, I hope you enjot

[cartooncenteral]

Chapter 2: Dates and Dragons

**Secret Base of Dimensions*

Anne: Alright Max, now that we are your new defenders, how are you going to alert us?

Max: With these watches!

[[Max gives Anne, Marcy and Sasha watches with a touchscreen]]

Max: Take these communication watches, they're buzz when i need to get in contact with you

Marcy: So cool, thanks

Max: Your welcome, now go on, and live life!

[[The girls started to climb back up to the surface, but Max says one more thing to Anne]]

Max: Oh and Anne, Sprig, and Polly can go with you too

Anne: No way! are you serious?

Max: I am very serious, unlike the calamity box, I don't have any restrictions on me.

Anne: Thank You, Thank You Thank You, you are the best!!!

Max: Pleasures all mine, now carry on with your day

[[Anne climbs back to the surface with Sprig and Polly behind her]]

Marcy: Hey Anne, You made it!

Anne: yeah just had a talk with Max, and he said that Sprig and Polly can stay!

Sasha: No way girl, that's awesome! anyway I got to get going

Polly: Aw, Cmon Sasha, we just reunited

Sasha: I know little dude, but I really gotta go, I got a date.

Anne: A date? with who?

Sasha: With Maggie!

Anne: Maggie? Maggie Margo? since when did you start dating her?

Sasha: Since 2 years ago, we both apparently applied at UCLA, we got the same dorm room together, and then we just kind of fell in love!

Marcy: Aw, that's adorable, congrats girl!

Sasha: Thanks Marcy, talk to your girls later!

[[ Sasha gets in her red car and drives off to go meet Maggie at the restaurant of her choosing]]

Anne: Well then, I guess it's just me and you Marcy

Marcy: Oh, Sorry Anne, I wish we can hang out, but I got to get back to work!

Anne: c'mon Marcy, can't you take off work for one day, please

Marcy: wish I could, but this isn't Amphibia where we have no choice but to hang out, I got a job, I have a dream, and right now, I got to accomplish that dream.

[[Marcy gets on her bike and pedals back to her Company's building]]

Sprig: what was all that about Anne?

Anne: Ah, it's just the reunion jitters, we're all good, Hey! I got something really cool to show you at my job! Do you want to see it?

Sprig: Sure, I down to see the surprise

Polly: If there is you haven't forgotten about Me, It's my taste in Surprises!

Anne: Great, I'll lead the way!

**the Museum, Amphibia Exhibit**

Anne: Alright, on the count of three, open your eyes! 1...2...3 Open!

[[Sprig and Polly open their eyes and see a Museum Exhibit with Leaves and Frog Displays]]

Sprig: What is all this?

Anne: It's my Amphibia Museum, I built it myself, I did it so that everyone knows about your world.

Sprig: Aw, how sweet,  but you didn't need to do that.

Anne: Hey, I saved both mine and your world, it's something I needed to do!

Polly: Well it's pretty amazing for you to cherish us like this

Anne: Thanks Polly, hey since we're still here, why don't we take a selfie together!

Sprig: Ah, Yes!

[[Anne pulls out her phone and takes a selfie with sprig and Polly in the Exhibit]]

**The Next Morning, Downtown LA**

[[Sasha is sitting outside a restaurant with Maggie and hears her phone buzzing in her pocket and takes a look at it, she sees Anne's Selfie and likes it]]

Maggie: Who was that babe?

Sasha: No One, Just a photo that was sent to me by a friend

Maggie: oh ok, Anyway, have you decided what to order yet?

Sasha: um... Not yet.

Maggie: So how was the Battle of bands? did you get accepted?

Sasha: no, I got there too late

Maggie: oh man that's a bummer, but you can bounce back though, I know you can!

Sasha: Oh you, I'm so glad that care about me!

Maggie: Hey, you said it yourself, I just needed a change!

Sasha: And I'm glad you did change!

[[Sasha held Maggie's hand and stared deeply into her eyes, they both start to close their eyes and prepare to passionately kiss each other on the lips, but suddenly, Sasha's Communication watch goes off, Indicating she had to go to Max in his Underground base]]

Maggie: What's that noise?

Sasha: Um... Maggie, I hate to do this to you, But I got to go!

Maggie: What! Why?

Sasha: I got to... Take my new dog for a walk, he's got low blood pressure and needs to go outside right now.

Maggie: You didn't tell me you got a dog?

Sasha: I got it last night, anyway, I gotta go

[[Sasha kisses Maggie on her right cheek and starts running in the direction of the Hollywood sign, she picks up her phone and Video calls Anne and Marcy]]

Sasha: Marcy, Anne, my watch just went off, did your's go off too?

Anne: Yes, do you think it's a test?

Marcy: Don't know, we'll know when we get there, see you guys there!

** The Dimensional Base**

[[Anne, Sasha, and Marcy enter the base and see books on the ground and max's machine destroyed]]

Anne: Oh my god! What the heck happened!

Marcy: This place looks like it got ransacked!

Sasha: Wait a second! Where's Trojan?

[[Max boots up with a little bit of glitchness]]

Max: She's... She's been kidnapped!

Marcy: What! How? I thought this place was hidden!

Max: It was, until it was found, by a masked intruder!

Sasha: A masked intruder, do you know where the person went?

Max: I don't know, the person hit my machine, I can't watch the dimensions now!

Anne: how do you purpose we find Trojan?

Max: Well first, you can't go searching for her without self-defense, So this Is what i need you to do, There is a Dimension called the Dragon Dimension, my old defender's deceased body is there, but he still got weapons next to him, I need you three to retrieve them, head back here and find Trojan.

Anne: Got It!

Sasha: That's something we can do! Max open the portal!

Max: Ok, but when I do this, I will be powered down until my machine is fixed!

Marcy: We can handle that, Open the portal!!

Max: On It,

Anne: Alright, Sprig and Polly, I need you to stay here and watch the place

Sprig: on it Anne,

Anne: And here, take my phone, if anything happens, call me, Marcy, and Sasha immediately!

Sprig: I will.

Anne: Alright Max, We're Ready!

[[Max opens a portal with his closed eyes, as Anne, Sasha, and Marcy enter a dimension with lava pools and smokey charcoal skies]]

Sasha: Oh yeah, this is a dragon dimension alright!

Marcy: let's search for the last defender's body, as gross as that might sound.

Anne: Is it in that cave over there?

Sasha: Let's check

[[The Trio enters the cave as they see a pool of lava with rocks over it horn statue with a flame of fire in the middle, and lastly, a skeleton in rock with a lavafall in front of it]]

Sasha: Well shit, we're screwed! How are we supposed to Get to the skeleton without dying, or attracting dragons?

Marcy: Hey Cmon guys, we went through temples, backstabbing kings, and even an infected moon, this will be a piece of cake!

Anne: So how about we do this, Sasha, since you are the most athletic out of all of us, you can parkour up to the rock, while Me and Marcy warn you about Dragons and lava!

Sasha: Um... Ok

[[Sasha walks up to the rocks and looks at the lava pool]]

Sasha: You're watching me? Right!

Marcy: like a hawk!

Sasha: Ok, Here we go

[[Sasha jumps the rocks one by one, and makes it to the underpart of the middle rock, then she climbs while holding her feet in place and keeping her hand on the sharper pieces]]

Sasha: Almost there!

[[The trio all of a sudden hears a loud road from outside the cave, from what they heard, the animal was big, and historic]]

Anne: Hurry Sasha!!! Dragons know where here!

Sasha: hold on, I'm on the rock! just gotta search for the supplies!

[[Sasha searches the weapons of the old defender, and finds three sets of weapons]]

Sasha: let's see, we have a Sword, made entirely out of Iron, a throwing spear, and a heavy mace!

Marcy: Sasha! get down here!

Sasha: Alright, I'm coming down!

[[Sasha jumps down to the underpart of the middle rock and jumps back to Anne and Marcy]]

Anne: Alright, Let's get out of here!

[[The Girls are about to run out of the cave, but then a huge black dragon blocks the entrance and enters the cave]]

Anne: guys, whatever you do! don't move a single inch of your body!

Marcy: Oh trust me Anne, I'm frozen like an iceberg!

Sasha: This is it, our first reunion mission and we're about to be made into toast!

[[The Dragon was about to breathe fire, but then stops and suddenly begins to speak!!]]

The Dragon: Toast? What's that?

Sasha: Um, did the dragon just ask us a question?

The Dragon: Yes, Yes I did!

Marcy: wow, I can't believe, more worlds with talking animals, this is truly incredible!

Anne: What's your name dragon?

The Dragon: My name? Oh, I totally forgot to tell you my name, It's Skylar, Skylar The Dragon!

Marcy: Well it's nice to meet you Skylar, I'm Marcy Wu, and this is Sasha Waybright and Anne Boonchuy

Skylar: Well nice to meet you three, anyway, do you want to tell me why you are here in my dangerous world?

Anne: We do, you see, we're here to get the weapons that a previous human had on that rock over there!

Skylar: Really? What for?

Anne: We needed them to get them because we work for some holographic human named Max, and his daughter got kidnapped by a masked intruder!

Skylar: Oh no! That's terrible!

Sasha: We know, that's why we're trying to get to our home in Los Angeles and...

[[Sasha is interrupted by the Ringing of Sasha’s Phone]]

Anne: Hello?

Sprig: Hey Anne, It's Sprig

Anne: Hey Sprig, what's Up?

Sprig: Well we got some good news and some bad news!

Anne: What's the good news?

Sprig: well Polly was able to fix Max's machine and he's up and communicating again!

Anne: That's good, and what's the bad news?

Sprig: Well the Bad news is that we found the Masked Intruder, and Trojan!

Anne: What!, Where are there!

Sprig: At the Aqarium, your Aqarium!

Anne: What! No No No No No No, Not the Museum!

Sasha: Anne, what's going on?

Anne: We need to go, Now!!! Skylar, can you give us a ride!

Skylar: You bet I can give you a ride! Hop on!

[[Anne, Marcy, and Sasha get on the back of Skylar and launch out of the cave]]

Anne: Sprig, tell Max to open a portal, and duck when we show up!!

Sprig: Ok!

[The Girls ride further away from the cave, then suddenly, a portal opens up and Anne, Marcy, Sasha, and Skylar ride through and made a big hole through the walls of the mountain]]

Anne: Skylar, Head for downtown!

Skylar: loud and clear Anne!

[[The Girls fly Skylor down to the surface of downtown LA, in front of the Aqaurium, they see nothing except Trojan tied up to the Aquarium’s sign outside]]

Marcy: Trojan! are you ok?

Trojan: Guys! don't come any close it's a trap!

[[The Museum's door was suddenly kicked open from the inside, and the person who kicked it down, was the masked intruder!]]

Anne: Hey you! let her down this instant!

Masked Intruder: Oh Anne, you don't get to decide the fate of what happens here, I do!

Sasha: Who the hell are you!! reveal yourself right now!!!

Masked Intruder: Wow, I expected better behavior from you three, you know, that type of attitude gets someone hurt!

Marcy: ok, what is that you want?

Masked Intruder: Easy, I want vengeance! you Anne Boonchuy, You singled handle ruined my life, you ruined my reputation! and you ruin me! and now, I am simply here to return the favor!

Anne: What are you talking about?

[[The Masked intruder reaches out of its pockets and pulls out a box of matches]]

The Masked Intruder: Hey Anne, you said you like to express your feelings by dancing! well, let's dance, With Fire!

[[The Masked intruder lights a match and tosses it in the museum as it starts to engulfed in flames!!!]]

Anne: Noooooo!!!!

[[The Intruder starts to run away as she turns around and throws a peace sign at Anne, Sasha, and, Marcy]]

Marcy: Anne, we can't do anything about it now!  we got to get Trojan untied and get out of here!

[[Anne collapses to the ground and starts to cry her lungs out, because she just realized the exhibit that she took so long to make, was just involved in an arson attack, caused by the Masked Intruder]]

Sasha: Here Trojan, hold on!

[[Sasha cuts the rope and gets Trojan, Marcy, and Anne out of harm's way before the Musuem exploded into a million pieces]]

Marcy: Anne, Im so sorry

Anne: *Sobbing* My Exhibit, My one-of-a-kind Exhibit, It's gone!

**Undisclosed Laboratory**

?: Did you get the job done?

Masked Intruder: Yes Dr. Frake, I accomplished the goal!

Dr. Frake: Good, now with got Anne Boonchuy's Attention, we can start getting the ultimate dish of revenge, on her, her friends, and her dimensional buddies from different worlds!

Masked Intruder: and I can get revenge on Sasha Waybright, my best friend who singly handly betrayed me, and left me to be forgotten by everyone!!!

Dr. Frake: Well then, How about it my masked-up friend, ready for a whole season of sweet payback!

[[The masked Intruder takes off its mask, and reveals itself to be a 23-year old girl with silver hair and a headband]]

Cheyenne: You better believe I'm ready!!!

[garrothromeave]

the hell is mystreet season 6??

(warning, long post ahead)

ok so before i start this

1) ive never posted shiiiit on tumblr before so watch me suffer, im just here to talk about stuff that my friends who dont know anything about aphmau have to listen to me rant about for hours on end

2) i havent seen mystreet in like years (except season 3, i watch that frequently since im laurance and shadow knight deprived) so please bear with me because i might be completely wrong on this lol. it’s just like, pointing out things i remember

3) im sure someones already talked about this but who cares

4) im gonna do this stupid thing where i just explain myself a bit at first, if you dont want to read that just skip to the part where you see “the actual thingy:” in bold and italics 

5) mild disclaimer; i am completely aware that jessica is not a professional writer. i know that she did her best to appeal to her fans, and honestly, respect for that. while this post will come off as aggressive and probably look like hate, that’s not my intention in the slightest. it’s just... intense criticism. im sure y’all probably already know that, but yeah, just stating that anyways. i do believe that jess is doing her best, and in no way do i want to dismiss any hard work she’s done. that being said; prepare for a very strongly opinionated post.

haha watch there be 10000+ typos in this making me look like a complete dumbass

ok here we go 

one of the main reasons i stopped watching aphmau back in 2017 was the mess that was season 4. like, in the first few episodes of the emerald secret, i thought “woah!! this is kinda cool, im a sucker for mystery!” because of course i was, it was something new and something exciting. the only problem i had with it at the time was kim, but that’s just because i always found her annoying and out of place. i just didn’t understand why garroth dragged her along and honestly i still don’t to this day BUT, moving on.

anyways, as the season progressed, 13 year old me was of course just “:0!!” the entire time--that is, up until the reveal of the main villain. i remember watching the episode, seeing the reveal of ein, and then stopping. like, just for a quick break, but i was still just overwhelmingly disappointed. like, and this was the time when pdh was airing and ein just got made alpha (i think?) and i had really really liked eins character in pdh. either way, that really sucked and actually opened my eyes to a lot of things.

one of the main things bein’ the fact that this was supposed to be a slice of life kinda series that decided to take a turn to a more edgy kinda approach. which, i guess i regularly wouldnt mind? but seeing as mcd was kinda bein neglected at the time it just didnt sit right with me. BUT WHATEVER, point is i stopped watching mystreet all together at the end of season 4.

like, a whole year later my brother tells me that shit’s getting intense in season 5 + 6 of mystreet, and my brilliant self decided to give it a shot--but i refused to watch all of season 5, so i only stepped in when ein made an appearance. so whenever that was, that’s where i picked up because i didnt care enough to see 

and y’know--i honestly didn’t hate it at first. in fact, i found it oddly cool. it wasn’t enough to get me into aphmau again, but it was enough to where i was intrigued. i dont know why, but i never watched the finale, so i didnt see the ending until just a few weeks ago--but back then, i thought it was neat. looking back on it however... im just so confused. 

side note: only got back into aphmau this time around because of mcd. mainly because like, i adore the first season and the first half of the second season. and being nearly 18 now, im a lot more appreciative of plot and well-written characters n junk. 

the actual thingy:

ok back on track. imma stop spilling out my story of how i got back into aphmau, and lets just skip to what rewatching mcd made me realize of season 6′s plot and shit:

-emmalyn. how the fuck does ghost even remotely exist? if she’s emmalyn as claimed, then why have we already seen emmalyn in the mystreet universe alive? look i get that creators can do whatever they want with their stories but at the same time please provide some sort of explanation good god. and maybe they did and i just havent seen it, so if there is one--let me know. but until that day imma just sit here confused as fuck

-ok so imma just be real, the whole ‘ultima’ thing is just... not great. in my opinion, anyways. like... i saw someone mention this in another post, but if this ultima stuff was like, a really big deal, why isnt it mentioned in mcd? though i suppose since its a curse of sorts, it could be later on past the time period in which mcd takes place--but even then, how did it manage to make its way into aaron’s family bloodline? 

-WHY IS EVERYONE AT STARLIGHT ITS JUST SO CONVINIENT like what happened to this place being the most expensive shit on the planet or whatever, and how the gang happens to run into like, the werewolf trio and blaze and kai and guy and nate all of these people like god damn life doesnt WORK LIKE THAT 

-im sorry but turning people into relics? thats... thats the best you could come up with? plus, like, how does that even work? in mcd it’s established that relics are separate entitles that choose their wielder, based on a ‘personal’ connection (being a descendent of a previous wielder) or if they’re a good match personality and (i think?) moral wise. so the whole turning-people-into-relics doesnt make much sense to be honest. 

-irene really over here using her god powers to only keep her friends alive like god damn not a great god if you ask me 

-can i talk about how incredibly predictable aphmaus death was? like i just kinda sat there waiting for it to happen and when it did i literally went “haha! wonder when she’ll be revived” because god forbid we actually kill off characters 

-when aphmau + demon warlock fought in the irene dimension there was no passage of time whatsoever in the real world whiiiiiiiiich really bothers me because they fought in there for at least a few minutes

-speaking of aphmau and the demon warlocks fight does it bother anyone else that it had to be aaron who took over the fight?? like we get it hes the big protector blah blah blah but god damn it wouldve been cooler if aphmau had fought this battle as her. aaron fighting this battle was so underwhelming

-...love. like, thats the only thing thats needed to break out of a forever potion? love? LIKE YEAH, GOOD GUYS GOTTA WIN SOMEHOW, but its just so cliche and overdoneeee

-oh yeah and also when travis went bonkers and became the demon warlock or whatever, why’d he only take over katelyn and garroth?? like, zane had been influenced by the potions in the past as well? DONT GET ME WRONG--i do love some good brother edge, but uh, the demon warlock was just bein kinda a dumbass by not possessing zane too just sayin’

-can aaron please go to fucking jail for mass murder now like holy shit, he just got sent home on a fuckin boat. also why did blaze forgive him for killing him thats not even remotely realistic. then again, nothing in mystreet has ever been realistic when it comes to characters and motives and personalities, (cough katelyn being actually abusive and travis being an actual pervert) but yknow whatever

-katelyn and kawaii chan literally added nothing to the plot whatsoever. like lets be real, katelyn lost her personality the moment season 5 started and kawaii chan just kinda sits there :I

-ok im sorry this was bound to come up but cmon guys imagine laurances potential if he was in season 6 like god damn this is beyond maddening. AND YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A REALLY REALLY COOL PARRALLEL?? IF IT WAS LAURANCE WHO SNAPPED GARROTH OUT OF HIS MIND CONTROL THING, because it would mimic laurance’s speech to get garroth to snap out of his rage in season 1, episode 100 of minecraft diaries. like how fuckin rad would that have been? missed opportunity 

-also?? why does kim/ghost know magicks?? like, if i remember correctly, emmalyn is a scholar--not someone who knew magicks. i mean, i guess research? study?? but its been established that knowing how magicks works =/= being able to use magicks. i dunno, just doesnt seem right i guess. maybe its explained, i wouldnt know (yes i know that makes me look like a dick leave me alone)

-melissa should have stayed dead. LIKE, NO, ITS NOT AS SIMPLE AS “haha it takes more than a few bullets to kill me”??? look ive got nothing wrong with melissa (cough lie cough) but yknow it would have just been cool a character... stay dead? for once? its just too fuckin cliche that shes alive god damn

-can i also just say the only good thing that came out of season 6 was travis’ dads sacrifice like damn that made me actually sad

-howww was lucinda turned into a relic. or yknow, anyone else? like im sure they explain it better in the actual show i just dont remember, but its just that easy? turning anyone into a relic? granted, a normal person wouldnt be able to produce a good relic, but idk man. IM JUST SAYING; that the only really powerful relics that aphmau should have been able to wield is the one that aaron + zane produced because shad relic and esmund relic moment. lucinda isnt even like, connected to a divine warrior. ALSO, another point, if its seriously that powerful of a relic getting one from just a magic user like lucinda, why go through the trouble? i mean i guess ofc youd want the “all powerful” one that the ultima produces but i mean damn whats the point

-ok this is just going to bother me but in one of the episodes (i think might have been in season 5 actually) where that like, guardian dude was chasing aphmau and zane and at one point they split up and the dude just chuckles at zane diverting paths and goes under his breath “youre not the important one here”, suggesting that aphmau somehow is? first of all, id argue that any ro’meave is significantly more important than aphmau was, especially not knowing much about her other than that shes with aaron. i might be missing some bits an pieces, but if i was that dude id forget about aphmau and go after zane 

-killing off derek for shock factor sucked, and i know the moment was supposed to be really sad because like “oh :( aarons dad is sacrificing himself for his son” but lets be real dereks still was a shitty father and i dont think his reasons for doing what he did was very good at all

-less about plot or more like: why the absolute fuck did the gang bring kim along instead of, oh i dont know, a life-long friend? like, laurance or dante maybe?? im sure its explained, i never saw aphmaus year or most of season 5, but god DAMN id hate to be apart of this friend group AND GOD LIKE, imagine reconnecting with an old friend who ends up getting closer to your best friends and taking priority in their lives over you (cough laurance) like god damn lol

-im just going to preface this one with: i dont remember everything that’s happened, so if im wrong i apologize in advance--but (you actually can correct me if im wrong and please do) didnt like, irene reincarnate her friends in order to give them better lives? I DONT KNOW IF THIS IS TRUE, ITS JUST WHAT I REMEMBER--however, if im correct, then:

a. why the hell would she bring back someone like zane, or gene, or ivy, etc.

b. why the hell do they all have the same exact names? first and last? again, im aware that the whole mystreet+mcd tie wasn’t originally supposed to be there, but i dont think that means such a coincidence can be excused? its just a bit much if you ask me.

c. why the hell is the fact that (as much as i literally hate this) aaron is a decedent of shad being ignored? like, you’d think that something like this would be something thats actually important, or something the demon warlock couldve taken advantage of. or are we completely erasing every other connections to divine warriors besides aphmau + irene? because even if irene did reincarnate them or do whatever it is she did, does she even have the power to sever the connections between them and their ancestors? my guess is, no.

d. speaking of irene why on earth was aphmau able to talk to/see irene, they’re literally the same person are they not? did she like, fuckin reincarnate herself without actually doing it?? BUT--i will give it to them, the demon warlock did refer to aphmau as something along the lines of being “one of the 3 parts of her broken soul” or something like that. however, my point still remains. also what are the other two did i miss that or is it never explained

now; if irene in fact did not ‘reincarnate’ her friends then please ignore that little bit right there :)

but yes, those are a few of the problems i have with season 6 off the top of my head. i would go into like, season 4 and 5 more as well, but i honestly didnt feel like it. at some point i might go into other things, like how important laurance could have been to the plot of these later seasons, or HELL, even dante. i might also go into what could have made season 4, 5, and 6 actually good--maybe... a rewrite? perhaps? but im getting too far ahead of myself, so i just leave you with this for now.

and i know that as soon as i post this 15 more things are just going to pop into my head BUT im going to try and not edit this post because why stress myself with that even more

anyways thank you for coming to my tedtalk 

[urdadsjuul]

remus lupin x female! reader

A/N sooooooo i haven’t written in literally forever nor have i ever had the time recently so i guess here we go. gif not mine, credit to the creator.

[y/n] pov.

It all started soft and sweet. “I mean seriously lily??” she already knows i’m about to go into this rant for the 5th time this month “first it was the random 4th years that would come up to me, then his friends, then random notes in my class books. I mean cmon we’re 6th years for godrics sake AND he’s a gryffindor, who knew remus lupin wouldn’t have the balls to come up to me himself. I mean yes i understand he’s a super shy guy but he’s not shy when it comes to the longing looks i catch him in, or when he’s talking to his friends about me, and even sometimes i’ll catch him writing the notes. Everytime i try to walk up and talk to him he just walks away and ignores me like nothings happened. I mean how clueless does he think i am? all over a date to hogsmeade. The thing is, i think he knows i’m into him and he’s just trying to play games with me- hard to get. i don’t even know anymore at this point. i just want to understand why he can’t ask me in person himself. i’ll keep saying no until he does but i’ve been wanting this date for forever.” all lily does is sigh. i’m sure she’s tired of this same ole story but i somehow always get different responses. She’s my best friend of course and i know based on her history with james she obviously knows what’s going on but could never tell me until now. “god [y/n]! can’t you just see this boy is bloody in love with you and can’t ask himself because he’s too shy? You’ve never actually gone on a date with him you don’t understand how this poor boy is feeling when you don’t show up everytime. he waits hours and hours to see if you’ll show but you never do. imagine if you were in his place. if you keep ignoring him and your feelings it’s gonna end up in heartbreak for you.” I mean yes it’s true. i’ve always had a crush on remus. ever since 2nd year when he stood up for me when these 5th year slytherins were bullying me. is it so bad that i just want to go on a date where i’m asked in person though?

i guess lily was right though.. he hasn’t sent a note in weeks. i’m kind of starting to miss all the attention i would get from him. i think? i’m not sure. i’ve never actually had a boyfriend or even been on a date in that matter. neither has he though so i never felt too bad about it. i’m not an outcast in any way possible. i just always get shy around the marauders because of how rowdy they can be and i’m honestly scared to get pranked by them too. Remus was different though, he always seemed like the kind one who couldn’t hurt a fly. oh i was so wrong about that one though. here i am just minding my own business going to walk in my room and next thing you know a bucket of red paint is being dumped on me and on my bed is a note that says “this is for never showing up for the dates i asked you to -xoxo lupin”. do you understand how hard it was for me? to feel so embarrassed like that in front of so many people? i just kept reading the note over and over again. i don’t even look his way anymore to see if he’s looking. i couldn’t.. i know all of my feelings of hatred would come out about what he did to me. i mean i’m still finding paint somewhere behind my ears or on my scalp. the one day it happens too i happen to be in the library. i already knew the weeks of detention i would get. i just walked right up to him, slammed my book down, and just screamed at him for what he did. i’ve never seen this boy look so confused. the only thing he could say was “i’m sorry” or “i dont understand what you’re talking about”. i was tired of this. i just exploded. “Remus Lupin you know damn well about what you did to me. you dumped red paint on me and left that note in my room about never showing up for the dates you asked me on. did you ever maybe think the only reason i didn’t show up was because i wanted you to come up to me in person? i wanted to hear it come out of your mouth? i’ve been in love with you for the longest-“. i suddenly couldn’t feel myself talking anymore but felt a pair of lips on mine instead. i just pulled back.

“what in the bloody hell do you think you’re doing?” “[y/n].. i never did any of those things. you should know that i don’t participate in any of those pranks or even start them as a matter of fact. it was probably the boys trying to get you to come up to me. but while we’re here let me explain. i love you. that’s final. those are my feelings. i couldn’t ever come up to you because i would just turn into a stuttering mess and not be able to get any words out of my mouth. you make me so bloody nervous! i mean just look at you. you’re gorgeous and i was just scared you would reject me and i couldn’t take that in person. i’m sorry for whatever pain i’ve caused you” i just kissed him. it felt like forever but it was only a few seconds. i never knew all these feelings could come pouring out of this shy man but oh my it made my heart tingle. “i’m sorry remus, i just, i was so hurt by what happened and the note. i’m sorry for never showing up for the dates. i had just never been asked on one and wanted it to be in person.” “it’s okay [y/n], honestly, again i’m sorry for whatever they did. but hey how about this. will you do the honor of finally going on a date with me?” “yes rem. of course. this is all i’ve wanted.”

A/N : OOOOOKAAAAY so idk how i’m feeling. im sorry it’s not the best but i’m just trying to get back into it((: let me know how y’all feel ! also while we’re here i wanna thank @honestlyisuck for getting me back into this. go check out their page !

[scarlettswxtch]

HEARTBREAK HOTEL

Pairing: Bucky x Reader / Steve x Reader

Description: Set in post-civil-war. The Avengers have been back together for a while now, you return to the compound after Tony asks for your help on a mission. After months of being MIA, you haven’t seen your team in a while and two certain super soldiers are who you’re dreading to see most.

Prompt: “After everything I’ve done for you!” / “That I didn’t ask for!”

Word count: 4,979 (omg)

Warning: ANGST ANGST ANGST™️, all my fics are intended for 18+ readers

A/N: Firstly, Whew! This was the first ever angsty fic AND I've ever written and damn if I didn’t cry a bit. I kinda like how it went so...I may make this a mini-series? Let me know what you guys think and I’ll get to it. Secondly, I such at summaries so I’m v sorry lol.

This is for @moonbeambucky’s 5k writing challenge!! The prompt is above :) again, congrats on your milestone Tara, darling ❤️ and thank you for letting me participate, it was super fun to explore the angsty side of fanfiction with that lil prompt :))) I know it’s from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend which is a comedy show but, I felt like writing something a little dark and sad hehe, hope you don’t mind + i hope you enjoy it ✨

Also a side note - I got my info about Aleksander Lukin from here if anyone’s wondering.

˜”*°•.˜”*°• Listen for the full experience •°*”˜.•°*”˜

Song(s): Rebekah - Jack Vallier for Bucky x Reader / Girlfriends - The Academic for Steve x Reader

Softly splashing water droplets hit the car windows as you were driven onwards. The skies are overhung with a blanket of grey, so much so that you can barely tell the difference between the sky and clouds. Despite car rides feeling tedious, the rain is commonly calming - you watch raindrops race down to the windows. The occasional wave of a puddle can be exciting, but right now you’d rather be outside in those puddles than stuck in this car.

It was almost midnight, Tony had called you 5 hours ago, pleading. His voice unusually tired - worn, even. As if he’d been yelling for hours. The team needed your help for a mission and you went despite the circumstances - greater good and everything. Your eyes closed over.

“Honey, come on...it’s - we can’t do this without you” Tony was using his soft voice. Tony never used his soft voice unless it was serious. You heard the helpless plea behind his voice and you faltered.

“Is he there?”

“Who?”

“You know who Tony” you clipped, impatient. You knew he would be, but you needed to hear it. This was pathetic and your heart sped.

“He is...but we can arrange-“

You cut him off. “No. Send a car for me, I’ll be there.” And with that, you cut the line off.

The car came to a sudden stop and your eyes fluttered open. “Is here ok, Miss?” The driver asked.

“Here’s fine, thank you” normally, you’d accompany your gratitude with a smile. But, not tonight.

It was still raining as you stepped out of the car. You didn’t want to move, despite the feeling the rain soak your hair, clothes, shoes. The sunset was long gone, leaving only a starless sky. Puffs of grey cloud had swooped into the air like an armed patrol and had surrounded the moon from all sides. There was nothing more that it could do but sit and wait for itself to be completely engulfed by its attackers, you couldn’t help but relate to that. The compound loomed before you and you wondered what level of hell you were in.

“Kid! What the hell? Are you trying to get sick?”

Tony appeared in front of you, snapping you out of whatever daydream you were in. His arms encircled you and you found the strength to hug him back.

“Cmon, let's get inside before we both freeze,” he says, all gentle as he guides you to the hall. He has both his hands on your shoulder, watching you with carefully. His face flickered with something joyless. “Teams missed you, honey.”

A soft, pained smile took over your features and you squeezed Tony’s hand despite yourself “I’ve missed them too,”

That unspoken question lingered in the air ‘Why won’t you come back?’ ‘What can I do to make it better?’. You hadn’t seen most of them in months, except Natasha and Wanda. They were your girls. They weren’t simply good friends, they have become part of your soul. When life became a storm they were the boat that kept the briny water from entering your lungs. They were love when you needed it and you thanked them with all that you were. Yet the storm wasn’t over; the winds raged, seeking to crush what was left of you.

You cleared your throat. “Let’s not keep them waiting then,” you said, uncharacteristically cheery. Tony saw through it but he said nothing.

You began walking, eyes flickering from wall to wall. This compound that was once your home felt like nothing but a stranger to you. You felt tears prick at your eyes and you blamed them on the vases of blossoms which gave off a cloying scent that made your eyes itch. Denial is a great thing.

“Ladies first,” Tony said as the elevator doors opened. You stepped inside despite your body screaming for you to flee. Tony grabbed your hand, you hadn’t realised you were trembling so much. You looked at him in silent gratitude as he drew small circles against your wrist, calming you as each second passed. The tough girl act never did convince him.

~~

It was shortly after the battle between Cap and Tony. You were certain Stark would never forgive you for siding with Steve. Yet, you were surprised to find out how he’s done everything he could to keep you off the files, keep you off Ross’ radar. Nobody would ever know you were part of the whole thing. For all they knew, you had been helping Pepper with overseas business in Australia, oblivious to the circumstances back home.

Your heart swelled when you found out. Tony was like a father to you, always had been. That’s why it broke your heart to fight against him. He knew it was for love, so he forgave you for your blatant naivety. His little girl, “Always so easily fooled,” He had told you as you stood at his doorstep, eyes brimming with tears as you told him everything, told him how he was insufferably right from the beginning.

“You want me to kick his ass?”

You shook your head, “I just wanna come home”

He took you in as if you’d never left.

~~

The elevator doors opened and you stepped into the conference room, eyes downcast - too afraid to see your friends. You could feel every pair of eyes watching you, glued to you. Your eyes shot up and your gaze instantly connected with the man sitting at the head of the table, all beautiful and strong like he’d always been. His eyes were the ocean, so full of life yet so uncertain. You remembered how his blue-green hue carried his emotional currents, before you could breathe you would always drown. Except this time they were blank, the warmth they once radiated replaced with betrayal and hurt - your heart clenched. Oh, Stevie. God, you wondered if he’d ever forgive you for disappearing like that.

You wanted nothing more than to run to him, have him scream bloody murder at you as you wrap your arms around him - pouring out those words that perpetually lingered in your mind, forever unsaid: “It's been forever and many days since we last spoke; I'm sorry. In this time we have become new people, yet at our core we are truly the same. In all honesty, I need the asylum version of friendship more than I need air, water or food. I need to be sheltered and nurtured until my shattered soul has repaired enough to function and give love into the world. I love you either way, yet I am asking with my heart in your hands, if you will be the harbour in this storm that has come to my shores.”

He looked away from you, jaw clenched. The room was unbearably quiet and you dared not look towards the icy blue gaze which pinned you down, his features working with a dilemma of his own.

You realised the room only had half the team. Nat, Wanda, Sam and Clint were missing. That left the room with Steve, Tony, Vision...and Bucky. Tony must’ve sensed your confusion because he filled you in seconds later, “We sent a team out to check a HYDRA base in Rio. They’ll be back tomorrow morning”. Great. Just your luck. You had hoped at least Sam would be around. Sam was the perfect friend and he would at least be able to distract you.

You nodded and took your usual seat near Steve. You could see him tense, clearly uncertain about your proximity.

“It’s nice to have you back,” says Vision from across the table and you smile at him warmly in thanks. Bucky was beside him and you could feel his gaze on you- you could feel it from the moment you stepped in the room and how it hasn’t left you since. You didn’t look at him. Fucking hell, the room couldn’t feel tenser if it tried.

Tony clapped loudly to get everyone’s attention “Alright kids, here’s the deal”, he begins, a small remote in his hand as the projector flicks to an image of a man in his middle 40s. You hear an intake of breath from Steve and Bucky’s metal arm shift in what you could only guess was surprise and discomfort. “Cap and Tinman should be pretty familiar with this guy,” Tony says. You studied the screen - he was attractive for his age, to say the least. Salt and pepper hair, dark blue eyes and olive skin now slightly wrinkled with old age.

“Aleksander Lukin, owner of Kronas Corporation, born in the Soviet village of Kronas some time in the 1930’s” Tony continues and you frown.

“1930s?” You asked, “Wouldn’t that make him-“

“89? Yeah, it would. We can only guess his slow ageing is a product of HYDRA’s serum experimentation. Lukin's village was used by the Red Skull as a base of operations during the Second World War. Soviet troops attempted to retake the town, Rodgers assisted them but Lukin's mother was killed in the course of battle.”

Tony flicks to the next image “Vasily Karpov, took Lukin under his wing. We sent Romanoff out to Russia to investigate further after Karpov was killed. Turns out Lukin was left in custody of a large cache of special projects developed over the decades, including the Winter Soldier.” You saw Bucky clench his jaw from the side of your eye. Your instincts wanted nothing more than to reach over and comfort him, but you remained still.

“He sold some of these devices to the highest bidders to raise funds. Some of those weapons went to A.I.M, which was taken town 3 years ago, courtesy of yours truly. Lukin has been under the radar until a few days ago when we got some intel that he’d got his hands on the reality-altering cosmic cube.”

“F.R.I.D.A.Y take the wheel,” Tony said, and the projection of the cube appeared. It was small and somehow looked like it was made of glass and marble.

F.R.I.D.A.Y’s voice took over the room. “The Cosmic Cube is thought to originate from space. It seems that it is a living being in embryonic form. It contains its own consciousness, seemingly patterning after the consciousness of an unknown being.“

“Thank you darling” Tony tells F.R.I.D.A.Y as he points at the projection “That’s what we’re looking for”

“The entire time we knew the Red Skull all he wanted with that cube was to rule the world. Wouldn’t put it past Lukin to want the same” You heard Steve say - he was using his serious ‘Captain America’ voice “It is absolutely imperative we get it off him” he finishes and your eyes lift to Tony.

“What’s the plan?”

“You are,” He said and you lifted a brow. “Luckily for us, Lukin has a soft spot for gorgeous women. It’s absolutely essential you distract him by whatever means necessary,”

You pursed your lips “Why didn’t you get Natasha to do this?”

“Natasha’s high profile, ever since the whole Accords thing, everyone knows her face.”

You nodded and Tony continued. “This is a highly sensitive undercover mission. We got some information a few days ago about a gala being held in honour of Lukin, to celebrate the firms ‘biggest milestone yet’. We can only guess they mean the Cube.”

Tony turns, flickering the screen once more as an aerial view of an incredible large castle comes into frame “Gala’s being held at one of Lukin’s residences. I had F.R.I.D.A.Y do a scan of the building and turns out there’s an underground facility. Heavily guarded, heavily supervised.”

Tony throws Lukin’s mission file at you “Learn that like your life depends on it. We can’t have any slip ups” you nodded, slightly offended. You were one of the best master spies in the game. You and Nat were absolutely unstoppable together. There was nothing you weren’t good at; martial arts, acrobatics, expert marksman, hacker, interrogator, pilot - were all in your resume. Nick Fury wouldn’t just hire an idiot.

“I assume this isn’t a one-woman mission?”

“No. We wouldn’t just send you there alone,” Steve said.

Tony’s lips pursed “Tinman and Steve will accompany you to the gala” Fuck, you cursed inwardly. Nothing could be worse than that information. “Nat and I will be on coms back at the Quinjet in case you need backup.”

Tony waved his band at you and Bucky “I know things haven’t been peachy between the two of you but it’s important you don’t let emotions get mixed up in this. So, sort it out soon so you don’t fuck up the mission.” You bit the inside of your cheek in anxiety, feeling Bucky’s eyes on you as you stared into the distance, sparing neither of them a glance. Steve twitched in his chair, and you wish he’d reach out and touch you - ease your distress and tell you everything would be ok because he’d be right here. Like he used to. But he remained still, not like you deserved it anyway. You knew this moment was coming but, you had hoped with every ounce of your being that it wouldn’t. Fun fact, kids: deflecting does nothing but postpone the inevitable.

“Alright. Class dismissed” Tony said and with that, you grabbed your file, shot up from the chair and left the conference room faster than lightning.

This is how it goes: everyone’s got a bone to pick. You had one to pick with yourself when you decided to fall for James Barnes. Falling was definitely the easy part. Yes, it was like bliss - sometimes, you wanted to reach up and grab onto something to stop yourself from plummeting but, you grasped thinning oxygen instead. Now you’re left here, half dead. When it is your love that kills you, no destruction is more laughably ironic than that of the self.

You remember the moment he broke you - your skin lit with righteous fury and you wondered if this was your punishment for loving someone more broken than you were. You remember how you used to lie beneath him in bed, or how he’d simply look at you from across the room - those icy blue eyes full of tenderness yet so void. You knew he’d break you, yet you loved him anyway. Your mother always told you how you could never love someone unless you love yourself first. Total bullshit. You’ve never loved yourself, not really - but him? Jesus, you loved him so much you forgot what hating yourself felt like.

It was almost 2am now as you stood outside the compound’s balcony. The rain had stopped and left wet puddles along the glass floor - you were barefoot and a cigarette was lit between your lips. You tilt your head, gazing upward, eyes more open than they can be in the fullness of day, not looking at one star, yet somehow seeing them all at once.

“Doll?” You hear from behind you. You didn’t jump at the intrusion in your quietness because it was expected. You said nothing, your back was turned to him and you continued to stare into the abyss of the dark landscape beyond the compound. The sound of his boots was accompanied by tiny splashes of rain puddles as he made his way towards you.

“Look at me,” he said - Bucky’s voice was rough yet velvety at the same time - you wondered how someone could sound like they could kill you and offer your body the most gentle touch at the same time. Your head involuntarily moved, your eyes meeting his after many months and you blinked. Even in the darkness, his eyes were seriously blue. Almost sickeningly blue - full-on Prince Charming, field of cornflower, perfect, cloudless sky blue. Someone should name a crayon after the guy.

You blew smoke out of your lips, lifting a brow in question mostly because you had no words to say.

There was a half-empty ache in your soul as Bucky watched you, his mouth dry as he watched you move. He wondered what it would be like to kiss you again, your blossom-soft lips sweet on his, always glistening with madness and love-sick desire. The memory was almost enough to make him smile. He knew you only smoked when you were anxious, stressed, unsure of what to do with yourself. He’d always find you right here, looking at nothing as you contemplated everything. He missed that, just finding you in places even when he wasn’t looking. Bucky reaches over and tenderly plucks the cigarette from between your lips, crushing it with his foot. You looked at him with cheeks stained with tears you didn’t even realise were there. His heart breaks a little and he can’t help but think he’s too late and you’ve lost your way and all that remains is you and him and this hopeless tragedy all lovers leave behind.

“Sweetheart I...” he began, his hand reaching for your face as if touching you could wipe away all the pain and make it all okay again. It probably could, your mind said and you hated yourself for that.

You flinched away from him as if he were hot scorching fire and he dropped his hand “No Bucky. Don’t fucking touch me,” you spat. You were angry. Angry because being angry was better than tears, grief or guilt. You gripped the balcony railing tightly with one hand despite the fact that your palm was sore and burned. Your nails dug deep into your other hand, almost enough to draw blood. A tear rolled onto your cheek, but you didn't care; you had to stay focused. “I don’t think we have anything to say to each other”

“Really? Cause the way you’re acting right now tells me somethin’ else doll,” he stepped closer to you “We need to talk it out.”

“The way I’m acting?” You scoffed “What exactly were you expecting? Did you want me to throw myself in your arms, kiss like you never did a thing?” you closed the space between you and looked at him like he was venom “I don’t know about you baby,” the last word came out like poison and Bucky’s jaw clenched “but I don’t think I can ever do that again”

No, you certainly couldn’t. You convinced yourself you couldn’t -, especially after everything.

~~

It hit your hard when he did it. His words like nails and hammers breaking your heart apart. You had been on the run with him, Sam and Steve for months. The first day didn't even feel real. A nightmare come true, maybe. You found yourself waiting to wake up. But that never happened. You cried and cried to Sam, told him you needed to go home and he helped you readily. Your Sammy, he was always so sweet, a big joker who did everything for you without question. He got you to the airport, saying nothing to Steve and Bucky. He protested at first, uncomfortable with the idea but you knew Steve would try to convince you to stay, make things work. He’d probably be able to - you always did have a soft spot for those baby blues.

When you arrived at Tony’s doorstep, he was there for you but you never felt so alone. Completely, utterly alone, without him to comfort you. A million questions rushed to your head: “Who will wipe away my tears now? Who will hold my hand? Who will surprise me with hugs from behind? Who will tell me they love me and call me beautiful?” Not him. Not anyone anymore. You now lacked that someone who had been with me for over a year. That same someone who promised you a forever only to leave when things became too hard. And now he’s gone. Gone like the ink leaving pen. Soon enough he’ll forget about you.

You wanted to call him, ask him: “Did you cry at all? Did it hurt you at all... when you said you weren't happy anymore? When you said you didn't love me anymore? You let me buy you food. You let me drive you home. You let me love you that night. The night before it all. You kissed me that night. You told me you loved me that night. Did you lie? Or were your feelings able to fade so quickly? You're a coward. A coward that I should hate. I should hate you. I should be angry with you, but I can't. I'm worried for you... I wish the best for you. I just want you to have happiness again, even if that means I have to sacrifice my own. I would have done anything for you, you know? I loved you. I wanted to be the very best for you. I was the very best for you, but my best wasn't ever enough to satisfy you was it? Maybe that's what hurts the most.”

~~

You clenched your jaw, your nails digging deeper into your palm as if to focus the pain elsewhere “Some days I can’t stop thinking about you, other days I wonder why I’m wasting my time”

Bucky sighed, his hands running over his face in exasperation “I didn’t ask you to throw yourself in like that. I didn’t want any of it. I didn’t fucking ask you for any of it”

You shook your head in utter disbelief and wondered if he was truly this oblivious “You don’t ask for love Bucky! What the fuck is wrong with you? It doesn’t work like that, it’s give and take with no questions asked. Even a bloody wall would know that”

“I wasn’t built like that and you know it”

You scoff, “you had a life before you became who you are now, surely you remember how it feels like to love and be loved”

His eyes darken “Sorry to disappoint you, sugar, but loves pretty alien to me. I never asked for any of yours”

Your eyes and tone turn bitter and sad: “I gave you all and you gave me shit!” He shrugged as if that meant nothing to him and your eyes sprouted tears which fled unchecked “After everything I’ve done for you!”

“That I didn’t ask for!” he shouts, wanting nothing more than to flee from this conversation. Ironic, since he started it.

Your voice was quiet next, controlled even - almost threatening “You’re a fucking idiot. You never could stand being blamed for something you’ve done wrong, could you?”

“I didn’t do shit.” He growled, “I told you the deal and you stayed with me anyway, your pain is your fucking problem,”

That was the breaking point of your patience. At that moment, you were blinded by a five-course serving of rage that tasted bitter, yet surprisingly satisfying. You reached out and punched him in the face. Your voice rose above the sacred silence as you spluttered words your own mind didn’t register. You went to attack him again but he held you down, pinning your arms behind your back, your face now dangerously close to his. When he looked down at you there was no trace of emotion, not in his eyes or in marks on his reddening face. His eyes were narrowed, rigid, cold, hard. In that moment you knew he was already far away. Once more you were the enemy. These swings from most loved to most hated would be the end of you. His temper had no greyscale, only the polar extremes existed. You drew in a deep breath, the burning hard stare would last only as long as it took him to think of the most brutally cutting thing he could tear you down with.

His face brightened, just a tone lighter than your own crimson. “I didn’t ask for any of it” he spat. “I told you to stay, didn’t I? Do you not remember me asking you not to get involved?” his hands tightened over your wrists, hurting now but you didn’t show. You wanted him to hurt you, maybe it’d make you hate him better. “But no, you had to fucking follow me to Bucharest. Do you have any idea how exhausting it was to be with someone so fucking needy? No wonder I left you” ah, there it was. So much damage was done when Bucky argued. Every mean thing he'd thought but knew better than to say came flooding out. When he saw hurt in his opponent's eyes he never backed off, only dug deeper, like a hunter at the first sign of blood. Even if it was you.

“This right here, all these emotions? I can’t deal with you, I didn’t want any of this shit. You knew it was too much for me,” your eyes shifted to the side and became glazed with a glassy layer of tears. As you blinked, they dripped from your eyelids and slid down your cheeks. You bit your lip tightly in attempt to hide any sound that wanted to escape from your mouth and his heart sank. His eyes turned apologetic and his mouth began to form words you cut off as you ripped yourself from his grasp.

Your lower lip quivered and words slowly made their way out of your mouth. “You know what’s funny? I can’t even hate you right now. Not even a little bit and that fucking enrages me.” Your veins were full of ice-water now, yet they boiled fervently. You dashed inside, too quick for him to grab you - promising yourself to kill that part of you where he once belonged.

He knew he should’ve gone after you, say sorry and how he meant none of it. A part of you hoped he would. Instead, Bucky stood there silent and unmoving for what seemed like hours and finally, he understood why you liked looking into the darkness so much.

You stepped into the shower, toes flinching as they touched the chilled marble floor. Your mind was in shreds; you’d never get those words out of your mind.

Do you have any idea how exhausting it was to be with someone so fucking needy?

You turned the dial, new and metallic, releasing thousands of lukewarm drops, darkening your hair and trickling down your back. Your eyes fell closed over and over, each time showing you the words like photographs:

I can’t deal with you

I didn’t want any of this

Were you needy? Had you been too much? Sudden insecurity took over your body, reaching into to the depths of your mind to uncover every instance you showed him love and twisting it into something bad. He had asked you not to come, he had asked you to not get involved, stay behind and be with Pepper. He did. You should’ve listened. Maybe things would be better now if you had, maybe you’d still be together. But no, how could you have? You were a fool who loved him too much to let him do anything alone. You closed your eyes as if it hurt to look at things.

“Darlin?” you hear from the door, your eyes shooting open. It was Steve. You must’ve been quiet too long because he knocked again “Cmon I know you’re in there”

You took a deep breath, calming your nerves “Go away Steve, please” your throat felt tight and you surprised yourself with the calm, controlled coolness of your voice.

“I’m not leaving until you open up” You sighed in resignation, turning off the water and stepping out of the shower. You wrapped a white towel around your form, not caring about that puddles of water your hair was leaving behind.

You swung the door open and Steve stood before you - all righteous and handsome like he’d always been. God, you missed his face; you missed him, every atom of you missed him. "Are you okay?" he asks the question smoothly, the baritone of his voice reverberating through your bones. The low rumble of his voice is comforting despite everything.

“I’m fine”

“You don’t look fine,” he said, eyes roaming over your mascara stained face.

“Then stop looking”

“Cmon darlin’ he didn’t mean any of that. He loves you, I know it - everyone knows it”

You shook your head, scoffing “You can’t actually believe that? Did you hear what he said to me? Did he tell you?”

Steve looked at you apologetically “I heard”. Your lip began to quiver uncontrollably and Steve pulled you close, gently rubbing your arm. Despite the heaviness in your stomach, it fluttered at the feeling of your body pressed against his. You sink into the warmth of his chest, appreciative of the simple gesture. His touch made the room warmer somehow, your future within its walls seems a little less bleak.

“I’m sorry I left you,” you say, so quietly it was barely above a whisper. Steve pulled you closer, kissing the top of your forehead in what you assumed was forgiveness. “He doesn’t love me,” you said unconsciously, distractedly.

“Cmon sweetheart-“ he began but your head shook against his chest in defiance and he stopped speaking.

“I don’t think he knows how to love anything, Stevie,” you say and Steve’s jaw clenches. He pulls you closer and you wish you could melt into him. “Will you stay with me, please?” you ask and look up at him with eyes pleading; round with unspilled tears. I’m that moment he could’ve sworn there was nothing more lovely in the galaxy - angels would be fools not to damn themselves for you.

“Sure darlin’, anything,” he said without thinking and you slither your arms across his waist, pressing a small kiss on his chest.

“I really missed you, Stevie”

“Me too, doll” he replies, barely above a whisper.

You spent the rest of the night in Steve’s arms, warm and sweet and in this moment you felt like everything would be okay.

[raediggitydog]

Blast From the Past

-Chapter 5/7-

"I have a meeting with Impulse? How did you know? I didn't even know!" MJ rubbed sand out of his hair as Iskall pulled him to his feet.

"He mentioned it in the group chat. Do you know how to use your phone?"

"Uh, this thing? Grian sent me a message once, but I couldn't respond.."

Iskall shook his head with a grin, taking MJ's phone. "Look, this is the group chat, where we all talk to each other. Everyone can see these messages. I can turn on your notifications so you know when people are texting so you know what's going on." Iskall returned the phone. "Let's go!"

The pair quickly flew along the shore until they reached Impulse's bay, where he waved at them from the dock.

"Hey Impulse, I found MJ!"

"Nice! Hey MJ!" Impulse greeted as they landed. Impulse had tidy brown hair, and wore a loose t-shirt over cargo shorts. He also wore sandal-like shoes with socks, which looked ridiculous in MJ's opinion, but in an endearing way.

"Sup dog!"

"You ready to learn some redstone?" Impulse rubbed his hands together.

"I'll sure try." MJ laughed.

"Good enough! Come downstairs, I've got a few things we can work on." Impulse led the way, diving straight into the waterfall flowing into the bay. MJ cautiously followed, shuddering as he fell into a cave on the other side.

"Sorry it's kinda cold, but it really suits the aesthetic of the place, do you agree?" Impulse led the way down the corridor, and promptly jumped down another column of water, disappearing from view.

MJ peeked down the shaft, noticing bubbles floating down instead of up. In the column next to it, the bubbles went up...

Impulse appeared in the second column, drenched and smiling. "Are you coming?"

"I just swim down?" MJ tested the water with his finger.

Impulse laughed. "No, the magma block at the bottom pulls you down! It saves a lot of energy and time!" He jumped out of the 'up' shaft directly into the 'down' shaft, disappearing again.

MJ dipped his feet in, already feeling the current tug at his ankles. He slipped in, nearly swallowing a gallon of water in surprise. The current pulled him swiftly down, and in an instant, he burst out at the bottom, gasping for air.

"Tried to breath water, huh?" Impulse joked. "I think we all did our first time. Cmon, let's get started!"

They started simple, learning how to make redstone lines, how to power it, and the difference between powered and unpowered. MJ picked it up easily, so they moved on.

Next was repeaters, pistons, sticky pistons, buttons and levers. MJ especially liked the levers. ("They're so satisfying to flick!")

Finally, they looked at comparators, droppers, hoppers, dispensers, and how to put them all together. They also reverse-engineered some of Impulse's creations, to see how things work in tandem.

"Well, that was the redstone crash course, congrats on passing!" Impulse laughed.

"Oh, six hours was a crash course?" MJ sighed.

"Nah, that's really about it! Now that you know how all the parts work, it's all about trial and error to make something that works!"

"Huh. So I could go home and make a... villager farm like yours? Or an iron golem farm?"

"Yeah, that's the idea! Pretty cool, right?"

"How do people live without machines? Z said he doesn't touch the stuff."

Impulse shrugged. "Probably like you did back home. They would just rather farm things manually I guess. Zed says he loves being out in nature, doing things with his hands."

"Huh. Yeah...."

"Uh, I hate to pry, but do you know when you're going home? I think Xisuma mentioned he had a way to send you back in the group chat."

MJ whipped out his phone, eyes widening. There it was, just like Impulse said.

3 hours ago Xisuma: Might have found a way to get MJ home! I'll send an update as soon as possible :)

Tango: 👀👀

Ren: Wow, you're so fast! 💕

Iskall: That's what she said ;3

Stress: ISKALL

Stress: NO

1 hour ago Xisuma: I did it!! Everyone meet in front of iTrade in an hour to say goodbyes!

Zedaph: Yay! But aww :(

Now Wels: I'm running late, is everyone already there? 😬

Stress: omw!

Xisuma: I'm here, and we're just waiting on a few more hermits, including MJ

Iskall: Flying atm, and Grian's gonna be late

Impulse: I've got MJ, we're on our way right now!

"So, ready to go home?"

"I don't know, this is so surreal." MJ followed Impulse in a daze. He was really going home. Right now. No more crazy hermits. No more confusing redstone. No more colorful blocks. No more beautiful builds.

"Hey MJ, you excited?" Tango slapped him on the back. He didn't even remember walking into the crowd of hermits, but they were all hugging him, wishing him safe travels.

"I-"

"I'm gonna miss you, pal. Keep the book, to remember me by." Zed hugged him tightly, and MJ could feel his shuddering breaths as he cried into MJ's chest.

"I'll never forget you, Z. Never." He felt tears welling up in his eyes.

"Hey, Grian says he's sorry he couldn't make it. He wanted to apologize for how he acted, and he hopes you're happy back home." Iskall gave MJ a smile, but it was full of pain.

Finally, MJ made it through the crowd, finding Xisuma practically glowing. "Hey MJ! I wasn't sure I could get you home at first, but finding that Metrolite a few days ago really helped! Are you excited?"

"Uh... I'm not sure what to feel." He answered honestly.

"That's okay, I understand." X got a wistful look, but shook it off. "Anything you want to say before you go?"

MJ turned to the crowd, and nearly burst into tears. Despite the fact that he didn't recognize a lot of the faces, he felt such a strong connection to the group. In the week that he had been in this strange world, they had all welcomed him with open arms. Zedaph let him share a base with him. Tfc had shown him how to manage stress healthily. Iskall had talked him through a nightmare. Impulse had taught him redstone. Ren and Grian made him a new outfit. Grian...

"GRIAN?" MJ pulled out a rocket and took to the sky in a fraction of a second, darting directly for the small red figure soaring above him.

"MJ, look out!" Grian cried.

"Grian, I-!" MJ flew directly into Grian, and the pair tumbled out of the sky, screaming.

Iskall thought fast, throwing slime blocks across the ground for the pair to crash into. At their speed, they bounced for nearly a minute before landing with a laugh.

"I'm so sorry, Grian!"

"No, I'm sorry MJ! I should've just talked to you about it. I didn't even know what you called me!" Grian laughed breathlessly.

"Can you ever forgive me?"

Grian frowned. "I have to, you're leaving forever..."

"I'm... I'm not leaving." MJ laughed. "I'm not leaving! I'M NOT LEAVING! NOT NOW, NOT EVER!" He laughed, feeling lighter than an elytra.

"Yes! I knew it! Welcome to Hermitcraft MJ!" Zed leapt onto the slime blocks, hugging MJ tightly.

The hermits took that as an invitation, and soon everyone was in a pile on the slime blocks, hugging MJ, or hugging each other, or yelling at everyone to get off of me, I'm trapped on the bottom!

After many tears, it was decided that today would be a holiday, and so a picnic was planned immediately. A full afternoon of celebration later, they decided to break up the party before anyone got too wasted. ("It's fine, I'm German!")

"So, as much as I love having a bunk mate, are you gonna make your own base now?" Zed asked as he and MJ strolled toward that side of the island.

MJ laughed. "Yeah, yeah, kick me to the pavement why don't ya?"

"Pavement, huh? I thought you used American terms in a British accent?" Zed grinned.

"Eh, I've been hangin out with a lot of Europeans, I guess it's rubbing off!" MJ shrugged.

"Well I think it's nice. Didn't Grian say you could use the island next to his? Let's go check it out!"

They flew over the bay, spotting the island right where Grian said. As they flew in closer, MJ recognized the sandy shore, and could almost make out where he had slept the night he had a nightmare. Even 24 hours later, it felt like forever ago that he was worried about whether he would go home or not.

"Aw, it's cute! There's just one tree right in the middle!" Zed hugged the tree with a giggle.

"It's perfect!"

"Well, I'll let you get settled then. See you around MJ?" Zed reached out for a handshake.

MJ took his hand with a smile. "It's Mumbo, and I'll see you around."

[bossman-hazani]

Gangstars episode 1

Hey so this is my first time using this website. I’m moderately new to it but I thought that this might be a good place to post the scripts for an animated comedy series I wish to one day start. I decided that since I have no idea on how and what the hell to do in order to get it noticed by a producer, I thought a good place to start was to post the scripts online and see if I could build a community on it and see what will come from it. I mean, worst case scenario is that literally nothing will happen and it’ll go completely unnoticed so here it is. Please feel free to give any feedback in whatever way is possible on this website lol. The first episode might be a little weak I’m not really sure what to expect from readers but please give it a chance to when I post the second episode before giving up on it. I guess the kind of humour it comes off from is more a Rick and Morty type of thing. And please can nobody be an ass with feedback? I’m still new to this and I don’t really appreciate it. This isn’t really a final product and I’ll probably change the script based on any feedback I get so please try to keep it constructive and helpful. Thanks and enjoy.

Gangstars Episode 1 script

(The camera shows a brick wall in an alleyway with a door. You can hear the muffled voices of the interviewer and his mother)

Interviewer: "!?"

(Door opens)

Mom: "DAMMIT BOY, IF MY SON'S GONNA SMOKE, HE'S GONNA DO IT IN HIS OWN DAMN HOUSE, NOT THE TRASHY APARTMENT HE BOUGHT HIS MOM CAUSE HE DOESN'T LOVE HER"

Interviewer: "alright, alright! I'm going!"

(Interviewer exits door, grabs a cigar, takes out his phone and starts talking to someone on the phone while leaning on a wall)

Interviewer: "Hey, Stu. Look, I need you to do me a favour. Dammit Stu are you drunk again!? Fine, whatever. Just go tell Cindy that I'm gonna be in the office to tomorrow morning - what do you mean what!? Why the fuck do I even pay you!? Dammit Stu! You'd better give results or you're fired! Oh so NOW you remember. Whatever. Now tell Cindy that I'm gonna be in my office in the morning and that she has to go get mike so I can meet him and promote his ass. Heh, yeah, he's gonna be making some big bucks now"

(Interviewer continues talking while smoking, and as this happens, a large arm (Fat Toni) with a burger starts creeping off side of screen and attempts to suffocate him.)

Interviewer: "WHA-!?"

(Interviewer punches Fat Toni in the stomach to which an immune sign appears, slowly rising. As time is running out, Interviewer grabs glass bottle and hits Fat Toni over the head with it.)

Fat Toni: "ah SHIT!"

(FT drops to floor directly onto interviewer's leg and a crack is audible)

Interviewer: "Fuuuck!!"

Fat Toni: "Help me up, guys!"

(Two more figures, Teef and Giuseppe run in to help FT up there is clear strain in doing the process.)

Teef: "Holy shit, Toni you’re so fucking heavy!!"

Giuseppe: (Makes strained sounds)

(Interviewer politely waits through this event)

(When Fat Toni is finally up, he takes a moment to catch his breath)

Fat Toni: "Ok, where were we??"

Interviewer: "Uhhhh I think you were about to proceed with kidnapping me?"

Fat Toni: Ooohhh yeeah... Well... Do you wanna go through with it or has the moment kinda passed?"

Interviewer: "Nah I think I can bring it back."

(Interviewer backs away, into a wall, unable to stand. The shadow of a LARGE man slowly, with help, makes their way up and looms over interviewer)

Interviewer: (In fear) "What are you?"

(Bag goes over interviewer's face and screen goes black)

Fat Toni: (As if talking to a sick child) "Wake up, this is a temporary kidnapping."

(From the perspective of the interviewer, you can see his eyes opening and closing slowly)

Fat Toni: "Wake uuuuppp"

(Interviewer still doesn't wake up)

Fat Toni: (Irritated) "Hey, cmon, wake up already."

Fat Toni: (yelling and at the same time slapping the interviewer) "Wake up!!"

(Interviewer is awake now and looks all around him. He can see a messy room and at the end of it stands a dark figure who is not visible due to a light shining into the interviewer's face)

Fat Toni: "Alright now, talk!!"

(An irritated muffle comes from the interviewer as he makes it clear that he cannot)

Fat Toni: "Oh, right. Sorry about that."

(From the figure comes a hand that reaches to the face of the interviewer and removes some duct tape)

Fat Toni: "Ok NOW talk."

Interviewer: "Somebody help me!!"

Fat Toni: "Naah I was just messing with you, you never had to talk. But what we ARE gonna do is we're give you something to make sure that you can't go to that interview tomorrow."

Interviewer: "huh? But-"

(Toni's hand goes over interviewer's face and the screen goes black for a few seconds.)

(The camera then goes to Mike. He's walking in a suit with a briefcase (office work starter pack) through the Jimmyasssteak building and his fellow employees pass by, engaging in conversation. It's clear that Mike is familiar and comfortable in his status and that EVERYONE knows and loves Mike.)

Employee 1: "Hey, Mike!! Pretty sure your gonna be promoted to CEO!! AND your gonna meet the boss! Even I haven't seen him"

Mike: "Yeah ikr! But it still hasn't been confirmed... Fingers crossed though!!"

Employee 2: "EY, MIKE!! YOU FUCKED MY WIFE!"

Mike: "Yeah I did"

Employee 2: (High fives mike) "Holy shit! That's really an achievement! I still haven't fucked her after 5 years together!! Anyway, have a good one, Mike!"

Mike: "Yeah, you too, Gary."

(Mike goes into a reception and starts waiting. After a sew seconds, a secretary comes up to mike)

Secretary: "Oh, hey Mike, the boss will see you now."

Mike: "Alrighty then, let's go."

(Mike and secretary start walking together through a corridor)

Mike: "So uh you know what the big guy's like? What I should say to him? What he looks like?"

Secretary: "I have no idea. I've never seen or heard him in person. Every day at 11 I escort everyone out of the building and security is turned off so he can enter his office. I guess you could say he likes his privacy."

Mike: "But then how did he tell you he wanted to see me?"

Secretary: "We communicate through ASCII. (but pronounced as ASCI)"

Mike: "So... the Advertising standards council of india??"

Secretary: "No it's with TWO 'I's."

Mike: "Ohh..."

(Camera slowly blacks out then slowly back into colour to show Mike and the Secretary reaching the end of a corridor. The secretary is a blubbering mess while mark is just confused and shocked)

Secretary: "And then I said "what, you don't like me that way?" and then you'll never guess what he said. Go on guess."

Mike: (slowly and confused) "How? This wasn't even a long corridor. It was only 30 seconds ago that we were talking about the boss. How did- Just- how!?"

Secretary: "HE SAID YESSSS!"

Mike: "Well I hate to have to leave you at the peak of the... The conversation but- uhh- we're at the boss so I kinda have to do my interview and all..."

Secretary: (clearly fine now) "Oh, ok!"

(Secretary goes to a computer and types in a legitimate ASCII message. In response, a message that's clearly not ASCII pops up)

Secretary: "Alright, I'm going to have to go while the boss opens the door. It's standard procedure. So bye Mike!"

(Secretary starts walking away. A door slowly opens. Mike goes through the door, looks around and sees Fat Toni, who is drawing a moustache on the Mona Lisa painting hung up on a wall)

Fat Toni: "OH, HEY! Mark, right? I- uh I wasn't expecting you!"

Mike: "But didn't you literally tell your secretary that you were ready for me through ASCII??"

Fat Toni: "Mike... How in the goatlord’s shitting anus am I supposed to contact my secretary through the advertising standards council of india!?"

Mike: "Oh no she says it's with two 'I's."

Fat Toni: "Aaaahh. Well that makes more sense. I thought she was playing a number game when she sent me all those ones and zeros

Fat Toni: "Mike... I don't like mike... Is it ok if I call you Donnie?"

Mike: "Please call me by my name, sir."

Fat Toni: "Then it's settled. Your now Donnie... Donnie Dwayne!"

Donnie: (small and powerless) "ok..."

Fat Toni: "So Donnie. I'm gonna ask you some questions and your gonna answer then a’ight?"

Donnie: "Sure, whatever."

Fat Toni: "What are your thoughts on crime??"

Donnie: "I've always hated crime. I don't want to establish myself in it in any way and it helps nobody in any way. Innocent people just get hurt."

(Fat Toni gives a disapproving 'hmm' and literally scribbles on his notepad)

Fat Toni: "Now for the second question; What's your weight and how much do you normally eat in a day?"

Donnie: "How does this have anything to do with my promotion?"

Fat Toni: "Trust me, it's very important."

Donnie: "Well I guess I'm more or less the average person for both of them."

Fat Toni: "So... 49,000 calories each day??"

Donnie: "what!? No! That's stupid!! It's like 2,000!"

Fat Toni: "TWO-THOUSAND!? WHAT KINDA SUPER FUCKIN DIET ARE YOU- *ahem* That's very, very low. I gotta say, Donnie, your not doing very well for yourself so far. But you can still make it back."

Donnie: "Ok, ok..."

Fat Toni: (Dark and slowly) "Now it's time for the third question..."

(features of Fat Toni's face are blackened and are very serious as he says this and Donnie is concerned)

Fat Toni: (All grim and dark features on Fat Toni's face quickly disappear as he says this) "Do you like burgers? I like burgers."

Donnie: "Oh- well I like a good burger. They're actually pretty good."

Fat Toni: "I should probably tell you the truth... You know the gangstars?"

Donnie: "Umm no..."

Fat Toni: "Oh c'mon you gadda know them... Ya know... Biggest gang in the worldiverse?? Startin' gang wars here and there? You've probably heard of the but don't remember"

Donnie: "Ohhhhh those guys are JOKES!"

Fat Toni: "Ah c’mon, they're not that bad..."

Donnie: "I mean, they were the first and only gang to ever have their heist thwarted by an old lady"

Fat Toni: "Well- uuhh- I'm pretty sure they felt bad for the grandma and they didn't wanna hurt her..."

Donnie: "Dude, she was 96 and they had guns. She was only armed with a walking stick."

Fat Toni: "Pretty sure she was a martial artist."

Donnie: "What kind of martial artist is called Masel?"

Fat Toni: "UM only the most powerful ones. You know how martial arts gotta be, you can’t have your enemy suspect it. Pfft what do you know. Listen. I'm not your boss. My name is Fat Toni. I'm here to recruit you on the behalf of the Gangstars."

Donnie: "No."

Fat Toni: "Look Donnie, The gangstars need you. We're at a very bad state and this is the final straw for us. We need you."

Donnie: "No."

Fat Toni: "In this job, you were about to be promoted to CEO of the company. Would you rather be a CEO of Jimmyasssteak and get about 15 million a year, as tempting as it is, I think our offer will still win you over. By joining the gangstars, you get to risk your life, for scraps from heists!" (shows a picture of two happy people) "See, in the picture, you can see two of our happy members, enjoying the rough territory of wars."

Donnie: "Who even ARE they??"

Fat Toni: (Looks at the picture) "Ah. That's Tim and John. They didn't make the old lady attack. Don't ask. And I haven't even gotten to the good part! If you choose to join the gangstars, you get a chicken! On the house! With deals like that, SOMEONE'S gonna be making it through the winter!"

Donnie: "Well, I was GONNA say "no.", but I think the chicken part really changed my mind to... No.

Fat Toni: (pulls out gun to Donnie's face) (Aggressively) "It sure is a good thing that you're so excited to join the gangstars. You start..." (Looks at watch) "now!"

Donnie: "Of course. This is just great."

Fat Toni: (Holds up handcuffs) "you're gonna need to wear these..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (Fat Toni and Donnie are walking on the pavement of a motorway. Occasionally, there's a car passing by. Most give an aggressive comment to them.)

Fat Toni: "Sorry we had to walk. We have a small unicycle back at the HQ... I totally forgot it though."

Donnie: "A unicycle? You can ride one?"

Fat Toni: "Yeah you should see us when we use it. We look like a fuckin' circus crew piled up on top of each other."

Donnie: "That's kinda st-"

(A car passes by, and says an aggressive comment."

Driver 1: "You fuckin' dumbass!!"

Fat Toni: "You too you piece a' shit!!"

Donnie: "What the fuck was that about?"

Fat Toni: "Well you're in the motorway. In these areas, it's home to some of the most aggressive drivers in the city. A word of advice, do NOT go through the motorway in a car. VERY few people ever see the end of the motorway. Don't worry about the comments though, asshole comments are like compliments here."

Donnie: "Oh. Well that's also stupid. What's the gangstars like??"

Fat Toni: "Oh they're great once you get to know them. But if you're gonna fit in, you're gonna wanna work on your gangstar voice. Try one now!!"

(Passing car)

Driver 2: "HEY!! I'm drivin' here!!"

Fat Toni: "yeah, I bet you are!!"

Donnie: "Well what do you want me to say??"

Fat Toni: "Ummm... say that the gangstars don't suck and that they're actually super cool."

Donnie: "Ok, that sounds like a fairly simple task." in gangstar voice) "The ganghhh-"

Fat Toni: "Go on, say it."

Donnie: (in gangstar voice) "The gagstars donn- donnut sss-" (out of gangstar voice) "nope. I can't do it. It's physically impossible They just suck that much."

Fat Toni: "Ok, imma let that pass, but don't say that any more. Look. We'll work on your gangstar voice later"

(Passing car)

Driver 3: "How's ur mom!?!?"

Donnie this time: "Much better than yours!!"

(Car stops in the distance for a moment and then starts reversing. Meanwhile, Fat Toni is in shock.)

Donnie: "Wait what's he doing?? Didn't I compliment him?"

Fat Toni: "Dammit Donnie!! YOU'RE OUTTA THE MOTORWAY ZONE!!"

(Camera shows the ground with half of donnie's front foot past a black and yellow tape on the ground)

Donnie: "Well how tf was I supposed to know that!?!?"

Fat Toni: "THERE'S A NEON ADHESIVE TAPE ON THE FLOOR AND ABOUT 50 SIGNS!! HOW COULD YA MISS IT!?"

Fat Toni: "Just let me handle this!"

(Fat Toni pulls out his gun and points it to the driver who is at this point already out of his car and is approaching them. Meanwhile, Donnie starts slowly making a getaway.)

Fat Toni: "Look sir, I'm sorry about this misunderstanding. My grandson over here."

Driver 3: "Idiot. You don't look anything like him. And the age gap is WAY too small for him to be your grandson."

Fat Toni: "Oh but he is my grandson. Tell 'I’m Donnie."

Donnie: "Huh? Oh- yeah, sure am."

Driver 3: "Well tell me something, then. Why is your grandson trying to run away?"

Fat Toni: "Are you serious?? That's like the oldest trick in the fuckin' book. Did you really think that was gonna work? Go on, Donnie, tell him how you're still here!"

Donnie: (slightly distant) "YEAH!! He's right!"

Fat Toni: "See what did I tell ya!?"

(Fat Toni looks back and sees Donnie running away)

Fat Toni: "SON OF A BITCH!! Uh... is that someone calling you a fucking dumb ass??"

Driver 3: "You're the fucking dumbass if you think I'm falling for that bu-"

(Fat Toni throws the gun in driver 3's face and starts running for donnie.)

Fat Toni: "Donnie? Donnie!! Don't worry. I think the guy's knocked out!! You can stop running now!"

Donnie: "You idiot! That's not why I'm running away! I need to go back to my LIFE! I can still get my promotion and forget all this EVER happened!!

Fat Toni: "But Donnie!! The chicken! It's still up for grabs!!"

Donnie: "You're fucking crazy!! Just leave!"

Fat Toni: "Slow down, Donnie, I'm fat!!"

(Donnie continues running while looking back at Toni who's stopped to catch his breath.)

Donnie: "hah haha AAHAHAHAH IT'S OVER! I'M FREE! OOP!

(Donnie runs into a tree and falls back onto the ground and goes unconscious. The camera shows Toni picking up Donnie and holding him over his shoulder and carries him off. The screen slowly fades.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Donnie wakes up in a small room on some hay, holding his head. The room looks old and floors and walls are made of wood. Donnie walks out of the room to another but this room looks normal and modern. Just regular but it's shit. In the room, Fat Toni stands alone in the room. He notices Donnie, starts walking towards him while talking.)

Fat Toni: "Hey Donnie, How did you enjoy our 17th century themed guest room?"

Donnie: "Well I feel like shit. I also smell like shit and I don't remember that before I hit my head."

Fat Toni: "Yeah... It's a pretty weird coincidence how the guest room does that to ya."

Fat Toni: "Listen Donnie, You're about to meet the other members of the gangstars. But, before you meet them and officially become a gangstar, you gadda sign this" (holds up a blank contract with only the signing area.) "so that if you bail, we can add shit in the blank and take you to court claiming shit you never agreed to! And if you don't officially join the gangstars, then we'll kill you. So... it's nothing important. You get it. Now sign it."

Donnie: "Welp. Doesn't look like I have that much choice... Uh... should i sign it as Donnie or should i use my actual name??"

Fat Toni: "Donnie will work just fine. I mean, I don't know how it not being your real name would affect how we can take you to court."

Donnie: "Oh I'm sure it doesn't. Real names are way overrated anyway"

(Donnie signs it as "Donnie")

Fat Toni: "Alright, this is the moment, as soon as you meet the rest of the gangstars, you'll officially be a gangstar. There's no going back from here."

Donnie: "Ummm I don't really need t-"

Fat Toni: (yelling upwards, cutting Donnie off) "GET YOUR ASSES DOWN HERE!!"

(Distant shuffling)

(the gangstars start walking in one by one)

Teef: (Talks in a shitty Italian accent) "What the fuck is it now?? If you've lost your cheeseburger again, we're NOT gonna help you this time"

Fat Toni: "Well actually I'll talk to you about that later buuut I called all your asses down here because I wanted to introduce the latest addition to the gangstars... Everyone meet Donnie!!"

Teef: "Oh, another one?? This is the fourth time this week. They keep dieing, dammit!"

Guiseppe: "Taglatelli!!"

Donnie: "Wait-- what's up with that guy, why did he just mention a delicious food that doesn't relate to context."

Fat Toni: "Ah, that, is guiseppe, he's got pure Italian blood, but we never really got to figuring out why exactly he doesn't talk proper Italian. His language is based mostly on Italian words that Americans know and love in their language likee... Ravioli, or pizza then there's also a sprinkle of random American words, but he CAN understand what you say. We came around to calling it retarded Italian. Oh yeah, he also makes a great ravioli."

Giuseppe: "Pizza ravioli Guiseppe (holds out hand) spaghetti"

Donnie: (shaking hand) "So is it like every word has a translation??"

Teef: "Nah it's really completely random. One ravioli could mean biscuits in one sentence but shit in another."

Fat Toni: "Yeah... Trust Teef's judgement when it comes to retarded Italian. He's the only one who understands retarded Italian."

Teef: "Welcome to the gangstars, if you need anything, just reach reach me, I probably got what you need."

Fat Toni: "Teef's our guy whenever we need something, if you need something done, just go to him!

Donnie: "yeah, sure, whatever, but why the fuck does he sound so weird??"

Fat Toni: "Well a couple years back his ass got into some deep shit and well... He knew some people who could fix it... let's just say long story short, according to the law he's related to guiseppe and is legally required to speak in a shitty Italian accent. It's a story for another time."

Guiseppe: "Spaghetti artichoke" (starts ruffling in pockets) "biscotti penne"

Teef: "Oh c'mon Guiseppe. You really gotta do that this time??"

Guiseppe: "broccoli."

Donnie: "Wait- What's happening?"

Teef: "He uh says you gotta do the ritual."

Donnie: "Oh for fucks sake what's it now?"

(Once guiseppe seems content with what he was searching for, he pulls out a live chicken and holds it in both hands and starts talking retarded Italian. What he's talking about isn't important.)

Guiseppe: "coffee ciabatta gelato..."

Donnie: "What the fuck!? Where the hell did he even fit that thing!?"

Fat Toni: "It doesn't matter, it's bad luck to question the ritual. It's a tradition that's been going through the gangstars for centuries now, your gonna have to accept the complimentary chicken."

Donnie: "What!? No! I'm not gonna accept this stupid chicken!"

(Guiseppe takes note of this and looks offended, but continues with the ritual.)

Teef: "You gotta take the complimentary chicken man. No excuses now, you're a gangstar."

Donnie: "What the hell even is this place!?"

(Guiseppe finishes speaking and goes down on one knee and holds the chicken above his head)

Donnie: "I'm not gonna take the chicken"

Teef: "You gotta take it man."

(Guiseppe starts to slowly push the chicken towards Donnie's face)

Fat Toni: "just take the damn chicken, just for a minute."

Donnie: "I can't, I'm allergic dammit!"

(Guiseppe slowly starts getting seriously pissed)

Teef: "Would you do it for a quarter?"

(Donnie shoots Teef an annoyed glance)

Teef: "He ain't buying, Toni."

Fat Toni: "Well raise!! We need him to take the chicken!"

Teef: "But I already offered a quarter!"

Fat Toni: "Whoa Teef, he's not worth our entire budget."

(Guiseppe slowly starts getting seriously pissed)

Fat Toni: "Donnie, I'm telling ya this as a warning, not advice; take the chicken."

Donnie: "Alright! I'll take the chicken!!"

(Donnie takes the chicken in a sudden movement, Guiseppe goes back to normal and walks out.)

Donnie: (throwing the chicken behind him followed by a squawk) "What a weird motherfucker..."

(Doogie walks through the door)

Teef: "Motherfucker..."

Doogie: "Reporting for business, boss!"

Fat Toni: "Ah come onn didn't I give you that calculus book!?"

Doogie: "That was a colouring book for kids."

Fat Toni: "And I did NOT think you'd finish it so damn fast"

Donnie: "Alright whose this dumbass?"

Doogie: "well my-"

Teef: "We'll do the talking, asshole."

Teef: "His name's Doogie; the smartass dumbass never really officially joined the gangstars, he just started coming here."

Fat Toni: "Physically, he's worse than useless, but he's a real smartass... Most of the time he's just annoying though. No matter what we do, we can't get rid of him.

Donnie: "Well why don't you just" (makes a slitting throat gesture)

Fat Toni: (excitedly) "Oh yeah, that reminds me, check this out"

(Fat Toni pulls a gun to Doogie's forehead between his glasses and shoots him without hesitation. When Doogie dies, he makes the most pathetic sound. Doogie's corpse slides a small distance so his head is under an object.)

Donnie: "What the hell did you just do!?You killed the weird kid!!"

Fat Toni: "What? you suggested that I kill him? Didn't he Teef?

Teef: "He did, and by laws of the gangstars, he'd be held responsible"

Donnie: "No! I was making a joke! I didn't want you to seriously kill him!!"

Doogie: (Weak and slowly) "Goooo..."

Donnie: "Wait- why did he just make a noise? What was that?"

Teef: "That. Is the reason why we could never get rid of him. I mean cmon did you really think we didn't try killing him? I mean just look at him."

(Doogie starts making a very slow rise)

Teef: "If you'll excuse me for a moment, I have something to get"

(Doogie starts talking while rising)

Doogie: "How many times do I have to tell you to not to do that guys? I know it's funny but it's annoying. You ruined my good glasses too..." (continues )

(Teef walks next to Doogie with a shovel and smashes him by the back of the head towards a wall. Doogie makes another one of his pathetic noises as he dies. His corpse slides towards a wall and and some sort of stacked tall object falls just right to cover his body from the viewpoint and from all characters in the area.)

Teef: "Welp, I think I took care of that."

Donnie: "So.... What!?"

Fat Toni: "To put it simply, it was by some really shitty fortune that the one useless pain in the ass is basically impossible to get rid of. We've never seem what happens when he's being reborn. The surrounding will just comically rearrange themselves through extremely unlikely processes to cover his corpse."

Teef: "The more you try to force seeing the regeneration process, the more destructive the events get so they'll force YOU not to see it. So uh try not to do that."

(Two semi-large guys walk into view next to Toni)

One of them: "Hey Toni. A word please"

Toni: "Oh, hey Donnie, meet these guys." (points to one of them) "This guy is Tommy de mato" (points to the other one) "and he's Danny 'D' Ruff."

Donnie: "Damn, those are some pretty stupid yet kinda catchy names."

Teef: "Yeaah... That was back when we were using the catchy name generator."

Fat Toni: "Ahh that was a good one... Anyway, they're mostly undercover or doing background work so you won't be seeing much of them."

(Fat Toni turns to Tommy and Danny and then back to the others)

Fat Toni: "Alright. I'll be back in a minute"

(Fat Toni walks a small distance with Tommy and Danny to talk.)

Fat Toni: "Alright so what's up guys?"

Danny 'D' Ruff: "We found a bank. This one's too easy."

Fat Toni: "How much they are we gonna get outta this heist??"

Tommy De Mato: "Well they don't got much money or gold or much of anything because they literally just opened but they got cookies; lots and lotsa cookies."

Fat Toni: (Stroking chin in deep thought) "How many cookies are we talking about here?"

Danny 'D' Ruff: "Get this; whenever you deposit or withdraw money from an account, they'll give out free cookies."

Fat Toni: "Holy shit that's a lot of cookies..."

Tommy De Mato: "Think about it man, this time in a few days, we'll be rolling in cookies beyond our wildest dreams and a small portion of money."

Fat Toni: "Dammit, we're doing it!!"

(Fat Toni rejoins the rest and Danny and Tommy leave.)

Donnie: "No the fuck I won't do it!"

Teef: (Offering a bloody bat to Donnie) "C'mon it's not that hard to just give him a whack to the head."

Doogie: "No, please don't. It hurts"

Donnie: "No!! It's psychotic!"

Fat Toni: "Don't worry, Teef. He's only finding it so difficult because he doesn't know him well enough."

Teef: (with a hint of hostility) "Just give it time."

Fat Toni: "Alright guys. We're gonna rob a bank."

Teef: "Sweeet. It's been way too long." (yells upwards) "HEY, GUISEPPE!! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE. WE'RE PULLING A HEIST!!"

Guiseppe: (muffled) "Taglatelli pastrami!? Fusili?"

Teef: "uhhh... Brocoli lasagna pizza"

Guiseppe: "Fusili!"

Teef: "He's in."

Donnie: "Yeeaah I don't know... Now we're breaking the law? This felt more like some creepy fanclub thing. I never really thought of doing illegal shit..."

Fat Toni: "Yea but that's only cause you don't know the stash we're gonna pull from this heist."

Donnie: "Fine. What is it??"

Fat Toni: "Cookies; lots 'n' lotsa cookies."

Donnie: "Yup... Just as incredibly stupid as I figured."

(Guiseppe joins the group)

Guiseppe: "Concerto."

Teef: "He says he's ready."

Fat Toni: "How about everyone else?"

(Camera scrolls to the side as everyone gives their answer)

Teef: "Yeah!"

Guiseppe: "Libretto" (yes)

Doogie: (excitedly but cut off) "Ye-!"

Fat Toni: (Excitedly) "You aren't coming!"

Doogie: "Awww..."

(Camera goes on to Donnie who has an exaggeratedly and comically pissed off face and his arms crossed and is hunched)

Donnie: (with a childlike misery) "No."

Fat Toni: (excitedly) "Doesn't matter!!"

(View goes back to Fat Toni.)

Fat Toni: (In a cool voice) "Well. Now that everyone's ready..." (pauses while putting on some of the stupidest glasses on the end of his nose and pushing the glasses up the bridge of his nose) "... Let's go rob a bank."

*** END OF EPISODE 1 ***

[marshmeadow12]

Apparent Reasons.

Chapter 1 - Pen pals.

They should be here any minute now. Bringing all those fire explosions and a lighter. Based on my calculations, I should be able to survive the attack. Then with my get away car I’ll be able to get out of this flippin’ pothole full of remorse and regret as well as revenge. I don't say that aloud, but I'm seen smirking.

Then I saw a pigeon. Bringing a letter. Back. To me....dang it...

The pigeon landed on the window in between the cell bars. At least they give you windows (with bars) in prison but then again, I guess it’s for mocking the prisoners who inhabit the said cells.

Since when do hired people send letters... back to you. Hired escape goats are not supposed to question their employers. I carefully take the message from the pigeon. Just by looking at it made me think that a girl wrote it, the pigeon must have sent it to the wrong person. Again.

Whoever had the guts to read a private message from a criminal, especially one that wants to escape, must be recklessly brave enough to send a reply letter. I for one am not about to admit that fact to anyone, especially my cell mate.

I carefully open the neatly sealed letter. It looked like it came from a story book. A childish one at that. Despite the fact that it looked like a four year old’s drawing with all the glitters and sparkles you could imagine, it still looked like it came from some high class rich noble addressing the king. It even had a wax seal.

The ink was lightly colored and it smelled like berries. There’s a chance that this was written using fresh picked berries instead of scented ink. Then again whoever wrote this must have never had the money for ink or an education at all. The writing was simply unbearable that you can barely make out the words. “Soren! You’re finally learning to socialize with the outside world! Congrats!” A boy in black robes perked up “So?! So!” He grabbed his arm “who’d ya pick up? A little princess? A little witch???” He raised his eyebrow.

“Ew gross. Do you think I’d have the time to develop Loli complex after all these years I’ve spent as a criminal?” “Cmon, I, am good as proof as you’d ever need for that matter especially the last.” I turned crimson. “Well anyway the letter was sent by mistake and the receiver just happened to reply. “ “See! I told you pigeon carriers are inefficient! This proves it!” “Mr. Pie-John is not inefficient!” He turned to the pigeon. “He simply...ummmmm....has to get used to the job! After all he is my new employee.”

Ignoring him. I read the letter...and I’m shocked. Like physically knocked out shocked that I fell off the bunk bed. And I was on the top bunk. Someone wants to be my friend.

Thanks For Reading! Where do you think this will lead to?

Bye for Now - Meow

[frickfrackjimin]

The Right Reasons - 01

⇻ 2 years ago, Jay Park left you in the dust when he chose another girl over you during the season 14 finale of the Bachelor. Now, it’s your turn to find a chance at love as the new Bachelorette. Pairing: OT7 BTS x reader (ft. members of Monsta X, Seventeen, and NCT 127 bc why not include all of the groups I stan) Genre: fluff, future angst, lowkey crack/humor (this is a kpop fic version of the cringiest show on television cmon now) Words: 8.1K  Inspired by: The Bachelorette! I’ve been watching since Kaitlyn’s season and once Becca’s season started I got the inspo to write this! Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, slight language, guys being assholes (don’t take the way I portray any of them to heart, it’s simply for the plot of the story!), super cringe bc this is based on shitty reality TV anyways!!! sorry no interviews or intel on the guys… unless i decide to switch it up a bit towards the end ;-) we shall see) 

Start of Week 1:

Chae, Hyungwon (aged 28, 5’ 11”, College Professor, Hometown: Gwangju)

Choi, Sungcheol (aged 26, 5’ 10”, IT Consultant, Hometown: Daegu)

Hong, Joshua (aged 26, 5’ 10”, Pastry Chef, Hometown: Los Angeles)

Im, Changkyun (aged 26, 5’ 9”, Marketing Consultant, Hometown: Gwangju)

Jeon, Jeongguk (aged 24, 5’ 10”, Wedding Videographer, Hometown: Busan)

Jeon, Wonwoo (aged 25, 6’ 0”, Software Engineer, Hometown: Gyeongsangnam-do)

Jung, Hoseok (aged 28, 5’ 10”, Journalist, Hometown: Gwangju)

Jung, Jaehyun (aged 25, 5’ 11”, Realtor, Hometown: Seoul)

Kim, Mingyu (aged 24/25, 6’ 2”, Chiropractor, Hometown: Gyeonggi-do)

Kim, Namjoon (aged 27, 5’ 11”, Pharmacy Technician, Hometown: Ilsan)

Kim, Seokjin (aged 29, 5’ 10.5”, Physical Therapist, Hometown: Gwacheon)

Kim, Taehyung (aged 26, 5’ 10”, Music Producer, Hometown: Daegu)  

Kwon, Soonyoung (aged 25, 5’ 10”, Executive Assistant, Hometown: Gyeonggi-do)

Lee, Jooheon (aged 27, 5’ 10”, Graphic Designer, Hometown: Seoul)

Lee, Minhyuk (aged 28, 5’ 10”, Sales Rep, Hometown: Gwangju)

Lee, Seokmin (aged 25, 5’ 10.5”, Creative Director, Hometown: Gyeonggi-do)

Lee, Taeyong (aged 26, 5’ 9”, Sales Account Executive, Hometown: Seoul)

Min, Yoongi (aged 29, 5’ 8.5”, Professional Pianist, Hometown: Daegu)

Moon, Taeil (aged 27, 5’ 7”, Attorney, Hometown: Seoul)

Park, Jimin (aged 26, 5’ 8.5”, Social Media Coordinator, Hometown: Busan)

Seo, Johnny (aged 27, 6’ 0”, Translator, Hometown: Chicago)

Shin, Hoseok (Wonho) (aged 30, 5’ 10”, Fitness Coach, Hometown: Anyang)

Sohn, Hyunwoo (aged 29, 5’ 11”, Mechanic, Hometown: Changdong)

Yoo, Kihyun (aged 28, 5’ 9”, Dental Assistant, Hometown: Ilsan)

Yoon, Jeonghan (aged 26, 5’ 10”, Research Assistant, Hometown: Hwaseong)

Week 1:

The last time you felt this nervous was the night you first met Jay Park.

It was a year and a half ago. You had been invited by the producers of the Bachelor to participate in season 14.

Originally, you had no idea who the Bachelor was supposed to be. About a week before you began filming, you found out it was going to be Jay and your nerves went tenfold.

You had watched him on Jisoo’s season of the Bachelorette the year prior. He had been one of your favorites, but got eliminated after hometowns when Jisoo sent him home to pursue her relationships with the other guys.

Though you were nervous, you tried to not let them show when you got out of the limo. Walking up to him in front of the mansion, you had let all of your anxieties go as you decided to go for the corniest pick up line out there.

“Um, so I think we might need to call the cops tonight,” you had said with a serious face.

“What? Why?” Jay asked back, a concerned look spreading across his face.

“Because it’s illegal for you to look that good.”

That had made him laugh. You patted yourself on the back for making a good first impression, which continued as your relationship progressed throughout the next few weeks.

Before you could even realize it, you had fallen in love with him. So, so in love with him.

Everything he did made you feel so special; he was a gentleman, he listened to you when you opened up to him, and the conversations you had on and off camera were great in your eyes.

Apparently they weren’t that good to him though, since he chose the other girl, Nayeon, over you in the end.

Oh, but the best part was getting to re-watch you get rejected by Jay on television three months later, and watching him propose to Nayeon instead and seeing how happy they were. Yeah, that was just the cherry on top.

Even then, you still couldn’t bring yourself to hate the girl. She had been nothing but sweet to you all season, and it’s not like you could help that you both fell in love with the same guy - you knew that was a risk you had to take when you agreed to go on the show.

Still, you had taken a year off to mend your broken heart, focusing on loving yourself and spending a lot of time with your friends and family.

You also spent a lot of time continuing your work as a travel nurse. You visited numerous cities in the United States, as well as in Thailand and Vietnam, lending your services where they were necessary.

Now, you had time off and wanted to spend that time trying to look for love again. When the producers of the Bachelorette approached you and asked if you wanted to be the next Bachelorette, there was no way that you could say no.

You were ready for a second chance at finding love. This time, you had a good feeling that it would be a success and you’d be walking away with a ring on your finger and your arm around a man who loved you just as much as you loved him.

The season would feature 25 men all fighting for a chance to fall in love with you.

Now in the limo, you can see the front gates of the mansion in the distance. That mansion housed you and dozens of other girls before.

In that mansion, you experienced cocktail parties, emotional rose ceremonies, and went through plenty of drama between the contestants.

Now, it would be occupied by twenty-five of your own suitors. The role reversal would take some getting used to, but you were ultimately excited.

The limo came to a halt, making you shake your head briefly out of your thoughts. You smoothed down the front of your navy blue gown - one covered in sequin beading from head to toe with spaghetti straps and an open back.

Your producer, Chan, had said it made you look like you were red carpet ready, not about to meet twenty five men who probably would never meet your high expectations.

That was the goal though; you knew that if you looked good, you’d feel good too, and hopefully that would give you good judgment on the men tonight.

Stepping a silver heel ounto the stone driveway, you are met with the dimmed lighting of the infamous Bachelor Nation mansion, as well as the face of the show’s long-time host Bang Sihyuk.

After your typical greetings you needed to do for the sake of the camera, Bang walks into the house to await the other men.

Now it’s just you, left alone with your thoughts while waiting for the first limo to pull into the driveway. You can feel the cameras on you from their multiple positions on the driveway.

Some are already in the house, waiting to begin filming the cocktail party and rose ceremony later in the evening.

‘Just remember that they’re all here for you,’ you thought to yourself. ‘You have nothing to worry about, they’re the ones that have to impress you. You just need to be yourself. Everything will be fine.’

The first man to step out of the limo is gorgeous.

His hair is dyed a faded red color, the smile lighting up his face automatically makes your heart flutter. Taking a moment to button his suit jacket that fits him oh so well, you take notice of the black sticks in his hands.

You smile grows wider as he approaches you, arms automatically spreading out for a hug which you are more than happy to return.

“You look absolutely beautiful tonight! Like, wow, I can’t even believe it,” he praises, practically gawking at you but it doesn’t make you uncomfortable; if anything, it’s flattering.

“You look very handsome as well!” you compliment back, being 100% truthful.

“So my name is Hoseok, and if I’m right, I’m the first one here?”

“You would be correct,” you flirt back.

“Well then, I guess it’s only appropriate that we break these bad boys out,” he states, handing you one of the black sticks.

“What is this?” you ask, turning the stick around curiously in your hands.

“I think it’s time that we get the party started!” he exclaims, before pushing at the bottom of his stick. A loud pop sound came from the stick as confetti flew all over the two of you. You screech a bit, both in shock and out of giddiness.

“I guess it’s my turn now?” you giggle, pushing at the bottom of your stick as the other party popper explodes, numerous colors of shimmery paper flying around the two of you.

Letting out cheers of awe at the colors around you, you turn back to face Hoseok, your cheeks hurting already from smiling so much.

“That was definitely a good way to get the party started!” you cheer. “It was so nice getting to meet you Hoseok, I’ll definitely find you inside later!”

“I’ll be looking forward to it,” he smiles, going in for another hug that you gladly accept.

He gives you one last dazzling smile before turning and walking back into the mansion.

You watch him as he walks away, admiring the fit of his suit and thinking about what an amazing first meeting you had.

‘If the rest are like him, I’m screwed,’ you thought to yourself before turning back around.

The staff quickly came by and sweeped up the rest of the confetti before the next man stepped out of the limo.

The second man was tall and named Johnny, with wavy brown hair and a sweet smile.

The man after him had with milky white skin and surprisingly dyed mint green hair. 

He seemed really shy when he told you that his name was Yoongi, and that he looked forward to getting to know you more. 

He had quite the mysterious aura about him, which intrigued you. You made a mental note to try to break him out of his shell tonight during the cocktail party.

Three more men followed out of the limo, going by the names of Jeonghan, Joshua, and Hyungwon.

Jeonghan had a cute smile and laugh, Joshua had pink dyed hair with flustered red cheeks, and Hyungwon was tall and lanky with full lips.

Expecting a limo to pull up after Hyungwon entered the house, you are surprised when you instead heard the sound of a high pitched horn.

Looking towards the gate, you saw a man riding in on a bright pink electric scooter, scarily similar to a Jet X from your favorite childhood show, Zoey 101.

“Oh my gosh!” You exclaimed, laughter pouring out of your mouth before you could stop yourself.

He pulls up to a stop right in front of you, taking off his helmet and shaking his hair out.

“Are you ready?” he asks in a high pitched voice.

You’re cracking up at this point, but manage to utter out an, “Ooh!” to finish off the intro he had started.

The man walks up to you and embraces you in a light hug before grabbing your hands in his. His boxy smile is taking over his face as he begins to speak.

“So, I heard through the grapevine that you loved Zoey 101 as a kid, and I know you see me standing here, and I just had to let you know that you look good, my dear,” he says, theme song puns dropping from his tongue. It’s almost cringey, but he manages to pull it off.

“Well, I would love for you to see my world if it means I get to take a spin on this Jet X later,” you chuckle.

“That can definitely be arranged. My name is Taehyung, by the way.”

You almost miss his name, finally getting a good look at his face without being overtaken by laughter from the theme of his entrance.

His dark brown hair fell into his eyes a little, hitting the tops of his long eyelashes. He wasn’t wearing a tie, but he didn’t seem like he really needed one to look formal.

“It is very nice to meet you Taehyung,” you say, gripping his hands a bit tighter before he lets go.

“I hope to get to talk to you more inside later, maybe over some Blix and Sushi Rox,” he smiles.

“I would really like that.”

As he walks into the house, you follow him with your eyes. He turns around before entering the house and sings out, “Yeaaaah, yeah, yeaaaaah!” which makes you laugh as hard as it did the first time.

You can’t wipe the smile off of your face as the next limo pops up, greeting you with five more attractive suitors.

Mingyu was tall with a lean figure and light brown hair.

Wonho had soft eyes and his suit was threatening to burst at the seams from how muscular he was.

Jimin was small in stature but had a sweet smile that turned his eyes into crescent moons.

Jaehyun had a long nose and dimples.

Kihyun was adorable and just kept repeating how nervous he was, which was more endearing than off-putting.

As soon as the empty limo turned back onto the street, you heard wheels rolling against the driveway, signaling a new arrival. This time it was not a limo yet again.

A blur of a dark green suit jacket and black trousers passes your vision as the man rides a skateboard around on the stone driveway.

Your nerves are a bit on edge watching him, since the pavement was so uneven and he could fall at any moment.

The man does a few flip tricks on the skateboard, which would impress you if you weren’t so worried for his safety.

He does one final trick, flipping into a handstand on his skateboard, before flipping forward and landing right in front of you.

“Wow!” you exclaim because you really are at a loss for words.

“I’m Jooheon, nice to meet you,” he smiles, leaning in and wrapping his arms around you lightly.

“It’s nice to meet you too… wow I’m sorry, I’m still in shock from that entrance,” you stuttered out.

He chuckled. “I’ve been skateboarding since I was ten, it’s just a hobby but I figured it’d make a cool entrance.”

“Well, it was definitely cool, I was so worried you would fall though!” you laughed even though it wasn’t that funny.

“I honestly was worried too! I promise I’ll stick to my feet for the rest of the night.”

“I think that’s for the best,” you laugh.

The next few guys were strange and quirky in their own sense too.

The first man to step out of the next limousine, Namjoon, was adorable in every sense. He had the deepest dimples you had ever seen and tripped on his way up.

You felt bad for trying to contain a laugh, but he immediately began laughing at himself, stating that stuff like that happens to him all of the time. His clutziness was charming.

The next man, Seungcheol, came out with something that resembled a large egg in his arm.

You were hoping that it was something other than an egg, but you were proven wrong when he explained that he wants to be able to take care of you and be a good husband and future father.

To prove this, he would take care of the ostrich egg in his arms for the entire time he is in the competition.

You wanted to be polite, but you were a bit creeped out.

Thankfully, the next few guys were more normal.

Seokjin was the definition of handsome, with broad shoulders and thick lips.

Changkyun had one of the deepest voices you had ever heard and a somewhat serious aura to him.

Wonwoo had narrow, sultry eyes but a contradicting pleasant smile.

Taeyong looked like he was straight out of an anime with sharp features but a soft presence.

With the weird things that had happened so far that night, you shouldn’t have been surprised that someone showed up in a costume. That still didn’t stop the laughter from the surprise that came from seeing a man hop up the driveway in a gigantic grey bunny suit.

“Y/N!!!” he yells from the foot of the driveway as you continue to rumble in laughter at the sight.

Stepping in front of you, he grabs your hands with his fur covered ones.

“So, my name is Jeongguk, I’ve been told by my friends that I look like a bunny and I’m hoping to hop my way into your heart.”

You want to cringe at how bad that line was, but the red on his cheeks and his big doe eyes made you change your comment to, “Well, we’ll just have to wait and see, won’t we?”

The final limousine pulls up after Jeongguk enters the mansion, and you ready yourself for the last group of guys to exit the limousine.

The first man, Hyunwoo, had soft features and was very reserved, but sweet nonetheless.

Minhyuk was a big ball of sunshine and his nose scrunched a bit when he smiled.

Seokmin had the brightest smile you had ever seen on someone and you felt immediately comfortable in his presence.

Taeil had a soothing voice and fluffy hair that you just wanted to run your hands through.

As Taeil walked through the door, you thought that all of the guys had arrived. However, your producers proved you wrong when they asked you to stand back a bit on the driveway, closer to the house so the final man could make his arrival.

You were confused, but soon felt the wind pick up around you. Staring up into the night sky, you see the outline of a helicopter as it begins to descend down towards you.

“Oh my gosh!” you scream over the loud sound of the rotor blades. A guy was actually making an entrance on a helicopter?!

You can see some of the other guys in the house peeking out through the fence and even through the front door, observing the source of the loud noises outside.

Once the helicopter touches down and the blades slow to a stop, a man steps out of the rotorcraft. He is clad in black from head to toe, down to his black hair that is gelled back away from his face. He buttons his suit jacket before beginning to walk towards you.

“Figured that we had better save the best for last,” he starts, a quirky smile appearing on his face. “Hi, I’m Soonyoung.”

He envelopes you in a hug before leaning back.

“Well, that was definitely extravagant, Soonyoung,” you chortle.

“The view from up there was amazing, but I think the view I have right here in front of me is better,” he flirts.

You blush a bit, simply replying back, “Very smooth.”

After Soonyoung enters the house, you take a minute with your producers to touch up your hair and makeup, eat a granola bar, and stick a mint in your mouth.

With a full stomach and a fresh coat of lipstick, you enter the house to begin the first of many conversations throughout the night.

Once you arrive in the house, all of the men are ushered into the dining room for the official season photo.

They are lined up in three rows, with you being in the very bottom row in the middle. After about thirty minutes of taking photos and touching up, you make your official on-camera walk out to greet all of the men.

Entering the living room, all of they immediately start applauding you, all standing up from their seats and moving a bit closer.

You blush at the sudden onslaught of attention your way, but had to remind yourself that you would probably have to get used to it.

Namjoon approaches your side, holding out a glass of white wine. You thank him and grasp the stem of the glass between your fingers before turning to the rest of the room.

“Thank you all for being here tonight, I’m so happy to have met all of you, and I hope to get to know you all more throughout the night,” you pause a second, raising your glass. “So, here’s to a great first night, and to a great season, and to finding love!”

The men cheer at that as all of you taking sips from your glasses varying in liquors and spirits.

You feel a tap on your shoulder, turning to see Seokmin’s smiling face.

“Mind if I steal you for a bit?” he asks.

“Of course you can,” you respond, preparing yourself for a long night full of many, many conversations.

A few people into the night, you’re walking on the patio after finishing up conversation with Jeongguk - who had taken off his bunny costume once he got in the house and was instead wearing a maroon and black striped suit with a maroon button up shirt.

Immediately after he enters the living room through the large french doors, Jaehyun is taking you back to a sofa on the patio for his conversation of the night.

“So Jaehyun, what do you do for a living?” you ask, figuring it was a good starting point.

“I’m a realtor in Seoul,” he explains. “I’m normally situated near Gangnam.”

“Oh, that’s not too far from here, is it? Did you not have to travel far to be here?”

“Not really, I work a lot from home too. It’s nice when you make enough of a living that you don’t need to really work full-time.”

Something about his mention of his wealth was a bit off putting, but you brushed it off as him being proud of his success. There’s nothing wrong with being proud of your work.

You should know, you could talk about your relationships with some of your patients for hours.

“Although, it’s actually pretty funny. The other week, your ex contacted my company for a realtor because he wanted to buy an apartment somewhere. They sent me out there, and when I saw it was him and that girl he picked over you, I could immediately tell that he had awful taste because the girl he picked was definitely not as pretty and nice as you.”

That rubbed you the wrong way. Even though you know you and Nayeon will never be friends, hearing her being talked down on by someone that doesn’t really know her doesn’t sit well with you.

“Nayeon’s actually really nice, I never had a problem with her, even now,” you assert defensively.

“Okay, well, I’m just saying, I think I got the better end of the deal” Jaehyun shrugs.

That was the final straw for you. You were so consumed by rage for this arrogant man, you don’t even think you could wait for the rose ceremony to send him home.

However, for the sake of not wanting to seem like a psycho bachelorette on the first night of the show, you withheld from screaming at him to get the hell out.

“You can think whatever you want, even if it’s rude and arrogant,” you chime back at him, standing up. “I need to go to the restroom. Thank you for speaking with me. It was really eye opening.”

You stand up, abandoning your now empty glass of wine behind with Jaehyun as you enter the house and head straight towards the restroom.

The cameramen are right on your trail, having caught the entire exchange on camera.

You locked the door behind you, effectively shutting out the cameras before slumping against the door. Resisting the urge to run your hands over your face, you take a minute to collect yourself.

Being reminded of Jay was not something that you wanted to happen tonight.

Of course, maybe a subtle comment here and there could be expected, but when Jaehyun came right out and insulted not just Jay but Nayeon as well, you were shocked and really upset that he would do such a thing.

Exiting the bathroom, you begin to make your way back to the living room to find another man to talk to. A hand lightly grabs your arm on your way back, letting go when you turn to look at him.

Taehyung gives you a sheepish smile. “Can I steal you for a bit?”

You breathe a sigh of relief at the sight of him. “Depends, am I going to get a ride on that Jet X now?”

His deep voice lets out a breathy laugh. “Not tonight, but I do have something else planned I think you’ll like.”

“Then lead the way,” you hold your hand out to him, allowing him to clasp it in his own as you make your way out to a different part of the patio.

It’s more secluded than the previous place you had been conversing, with a loveseat rather than a couch as the choice of seating. You know that the cameramen are following you without even looking.

“You looked a bit down earlier, are you okay? Are you just feeling tired? I know it’s been a long night and it’s not even halfway over yet,” he chuckles, adding some lighthearted humor to his concern.

“I wouldn’t say I’m tired per say, however I will be sleeping very well at the end of the night,” you smile. “Just a little off put by some people here is all.”

“I hope I’m not one of them.”

“No, Taehyung, you’re not,” you assure him, placing your hand on his knee.

“Well that’s good, because I actually wrote something for you.”

He reaches behind the loveseat, pulling out an acoustic guitar. How he managed to hide that without you seeing is beyond you, but it brings a smile to your face.

“I wrote this a few days ago when I was supposed to be packing,” he says quietly. “It’s not finished, but I hope you like it.”

He tunes a few of the strings before he begins to strum different chords. When he opens his mouth to begin singing, your mouth drops open a bit.

His voice sounds like silk, or milk chocolate, or something else that is comforting that you can’t think of.

The extremely deep tone in his voice brings a calming sense over you.

He manages to hit high notes with little problem, impressing you even further.

You find yourself wishing he had prepared more of the song when he strums his last chord, just so you could listen a bit longer.

“You really wrote that, Taehyung?”

He blushes. “Yeah. I’m a music producer so it’s like second nature to me to write about what I’m feeling. I was excited but nervous to begin this journey, you know? I also saw on TV how pretty and genuine and sweet you were, and I really wanted to make a good impression on you.”

You smile sweetly at him. “I think you’re doing a great job at that.”

Mingyu comes over at that time, asking if he can have some time to chat with you.

You of course can’t say no, as much as you wish you had more time to talk with Taehyung.

You both stand up, giving him a hug as he heads back into the house. Mingyu takes a seat next to you, and you try to focus your attention back on him.

“So my team’s research is basically on how certain particles in the atmosphere interact with each other in different climates that they may not normally be found in. With all of the issues with global warming and pollution, it’s really cool and important because-”

Jeonghan had sat down across from you about two minutes ago, and in that time you’ve found out that he is currently getting his Master’s Degree in agricultural and biological engineering.

He was a research assistant in a lab at the local university. You were a little lost on what he was talking about, because even though you had to take numerous science classes when getting your nursing degree, you never enjoyed that part of it. 

You preferred the clinical rounds and the on-hand experience rather than taking microbiology or anatomy and physiology.

“Hey man, mind if I steal her for a bit?”

You look up to see Taeil standing over the pair of you, Jeonghan’s rambling about his research coming to a halt.

“I literally just sat down.”

“I know, I was just wondering if I could have some time to talk to Y/N.”

Jeonghan narrowed his eyes a bit at Taeil before admitting defeat and standing up.

“It was great getting to talk to you, Y/N, no matter how short our time was,” Jeonghan says, shooting a glare at Taeil as he walks away and Taeil takes his spot.

Trying to find the right time to interrupt a conversation is always uncomfortable, no matter what side you are on. You feel for Jeonghan, but you are also a bit thankful for Taeil swooping in and interrupting.

That is, until he begins talking as well.

As soon as you find out he’s an attorney, you have to refrain from rolling your eyes.

Your uncle is an attorney, and whenever he’s not working (which is rare) he is always talking down on you, thinking he’s better because he is certified to be a professional arguer.

You haven’t had the greatest of experiences with them in the past, but you wanted to give Taeil the benefit of the doubt.

However, after conversing with him for a solid ten minutes, and him asking you to expand on your answers at least three times, you felt like your head was about to explode.

Thankfully, another man came by right when you were about to excuse yourself. 

You breathed a sigh of relief when looking upon the face of Seokjin.

Taeil thanked you for speaking with him before he got up and Seokjin took his place.

“So how’s your night been?” he asks, taking a sip of his red wine.

Gulping down a sip of your own white wine spritzer, you nod at him while replying with, “It’s been good! I’ve had a lot of great conversations.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed you’ve had a lot of conversations. Have you been able to eat anything yet?” he asks, concern laced across his features.

“I had a granola bar before I came in the house a while ago, but I’ll be okay until the end of the night,” you assure him.

He clicks his tongue at you. “You need to take care of yourself. They have all of this food catered for us in the kitchen, yet the beautiful woman we’re all here for gets nothing? I just don’t understand. That’s why I brought you this.”

It’s then that you notice the plate of food in his hand. It’s mostly desserts; two brownies, some chocolate covered strawberries, and a rice krispie treat.

Your mouth salivates a bit and your stomach lets out an embarrassing grumble of hunger at the sight.

You widen your eyes at him, being caught in your fib.

(A/N: CAUGHT IN A LIIIIIIEEEEEEEE)

He pushes the plate into your lap, and you accept it gratefully. “You’re a lifesaver, Seokjin. Thank you.”

It was really sweet of Seokjin to bring you a plate of food, even though he could have easily forgone it. It shows that he does genuinely care about your well being and making sure that you are well fed and not just surviving the night on wine spritzers and a granola bar.

“Any time. I couldn’t let all of the men pig out while you sat out here starving until morning.”

“I’ll only eat some if you have a brownie too, and tell me some more about yourself,” you offer.

“Deal. What would you like to know?” he asks before taking a bite out of one of the brownies on the plate.

Your chat ensued from there, the topic of his profession as a physical therapist and yours as a nurse paving the way for a good conversation. One that was cut short once again as Taeyong came to begin his conversation with you.

“Thank you again for the food, it was delicious, and I really appreciate it,” you say, standing up with Seokjin.

“Like I said before, any time. I enjoyed our conversation.”

You and Seokjin embrace in a lingering hug before he walks away, and Taeyong is grabbing your hand to walk with you to another place to chat.

Thankfully, there were only a handful of guys to talk to after your conversation with Taeyong.

That still didn’t mean much, considering it was nearly 1:00 in the morning and you still had to do your interviews and figure out who to send home during the rose ceremony.

Another thing on your mind was who to give the first impression rose to.

Sitting in one of the lounges with your producers, you snack on some carrot sticks while sorting through all of the photos of your suitors.

If anyone caught this on tape and it was shown on TV, no doubt the fans would get mad.

How were you, in all seriousness, really supposed to remember the names of twenty five people that you just met that day?

That’s like asking to memorize the names and faces of every member of Twice, Girls Generation, and Apink in one day. It’s impossible.

“Anyone in particular make a bad impression that you want to send home?” Chan asks.

“A few of them, actually. Which surprises me, I figured it’d be harder to try to figure out who to send home. There were a few who were rude or I just didn’t feel a connection with, I feel like this elimination is going to be the easiest,” you admit.

“That’s how it normally is. The smaller the pool and the more the relationships grow, the harder it gets.”

Setting aside the pile of those you would send home tonight, you turn back to your pile of those you want to stay.

“Now, who to give the first impression rose to is hard. A lot of them made great conversation, and a lot of them had great entrances. Soonyoung came in on a helicopter, I’m pretty sure that made a big first impression.” Chan laughs at that. 

“However, Kihyun made me laugh so hard I nearly had wine coming out of my nose, and Johnny and I had a deep conversation for it only being the first night. I could honestly give it to either of them.”

“What about Seokjin? Didn’t he bring you food halfway through the night? That was really sweet of him, and actually normal compared to some of the weird shit the other guys pulled” Chan questions.

You laugh at that, remembering how Minhyuk had brought an electronic massager to use on your back that just tickled you instead.

And how Joshua had attempted to juggle three bottles of water and ended up spilling all over himself and the couch.

“Yeah he did,” you respond, scanning the pictures and landing on Seokjin’s.

His shoulders are so broad that they had to zoom the camera out a bit on his picture, making a small smile appear on your face.

Your eyes continue to wander through the headshots, before lingering on a specific one.

You glanced at Chan through your peripherals, glancing at this man’s headshot. 

You don’t even try to contain your smile as you reminisce on his humor and quirkiness and his handsome smile.

“I know who to give the rose to.”

Stepping out of the lounge, you make your way into the living room.

Most of the men are congregated in different areas of the room; some on the couch, others in chairs, some lingering in the door frames.

All eyes turn to you as you enter the room, those in the hallways coming to stand in the living room. Everyone looks thoroughly tired, being that it’s nearly 2 in the morning by the time you did your interviews and made your decisions.

You reach toward the single rose that is sitting on a tray in the middle of the coffee table.

You remember being on their side not too long ago; having that rose stare at you, almost tauntingly, for hours on end as you sat through the first night, wondering if you would be the one that got the rose.

First impressions mean a lot, and most that receive the first impression rose stay until at least the final four.

Whispers break out among the men as you fumble with the rose between your fingers.

“It’s a big moment! You hear Joshua say to Hyungwon on your side.

“Indeed it is!” you respond, making them laugh at the embarrassment of being heard.

Taking a deep breath, you lock eyes with him and shyly ask, “Taehyung, can you come with me for a second?”

His eyes widen in surprise for a moment, before a ginormous smile makes its way onto Taehyung’s face as he stands up. “Of course.”

You grab onto his hand as he approaches you, turning around and walking to a more secluded area of the house.

You can already hear the sighs of disappointment and side comments begin to stir up in the living room from the response of your decision. You tune out the background noise and lead him to the parlour, sitting in front of the fireplace.

You look at him, blushing when you realize his smile hasn’t faded.

“So, Taehyung,” you begin.

“Tonight started off by you coming in on my dream vehicle, a hot pink Jet X, just like my childhood idol, Zoey Brooks.” you both laugh at that.

“The fact that you took the time to look into the things I like just to make a grand entrance already meant a lot. Then you catch me right after a not-so-great conversation and manage to make my mood do a complete 180 just from a smile. That song that you sang tonight was absolutely beautiful, I never wanted to stop listening to it. I loved every second I spent with you tonight, and I never felt a lull in conversation at any point. You made me feel completely comfortable from the moment we met. So, Taehyung, will you accept this rose?”

Taehyung’s eyes squeeze shut in happiness, opening them back up and saying, “Yes! Absolutely!” with uncontained laughs leaving his mouth.

You both stand up, smiles adorning your faces, as you pin the red rose to his right lapel on his suit jacket.

“It looks good on you,” you flirt, tilting the rose a bit before reaching your arms around his neck in a hug.

He wraps his arms around your waist so tight you think you might snap.

You decided to be bold and kiss his cheek when you pull back, only he had the same idea and ended up kissing your cheek as well. You both release a string of giggles.

“Great minds think alike,” Taehyung proclaims.

“Let’s see if that’s true now,” you softly speak back, leaning your head in towards his.

He meets you halfway down, his lips placing themselves on yours gently, as if asking if what he is doing is okay.

You pull back briefly, only to move back in for another kiss.

This time, Taehyung is less hesitant, placing his lips more firmly against yours for a few seconds.

His lips felt as soft as they looked; the taste of Coca-Cola on his lips surprises you, since you could have sworn he had been drinking bourbon that night.

You peck his lips one last time before pulling away from him and out of his arms. “I thought you drank bourbon tonight?” you asked, grabbing his hand and walking out with him.

“I had a drink, yeah. I’m not big on alcohol though, so I switched to soda after one glass. I’m also a major lightweight, and I didn’t feel like making a fool out of myself tonight of all nights.”

You smile at him, stopping right outside of the frame to the living room.

“Thank you for the rose, I swear I haven’t been this happy in a long time,” Taehyung admits.

“Thank you for accepting it,” you counter. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

You squeeze his hands one last time before walking back into the lounge where your producers were working.

Two hours later, the men and yourself had all finished being interviewed. It was officially time for the first rose ceremony.

Four in the morning is a strange time for anyone to be awake.

You are quite used to the late nights from work, but it’s clear that most of these men aren’t.

A majority of them you caught dozing off from the TVs in your lounge, showing what the cameras walking around were filming.

Next to you, the grand host Mr. Bang himself was knocked out, and had been for about an hour or so. Chan walked into the room after setting the dining room up into a good set-up for the rose ceremony.

“Alright Y/N, I’m going to gather the men in the dining room for the rose ceremony. We’re going to line them up, start filming, then have you walk back in to start the rose ceremony. Then we can all go home, sound good to you?”

“That sounds excellent,” you sigh, nudging Mr. Bang in the side.

“C’mon Bang, you have to be the hostess with the mostess for a bit longer, then I promise you can resume your slumber.”

He awoke from his nap, stretching a bit before one of the makeup artists came by and swiped some more concealer under his eyes for the sake of the cameras.

“Alright, I’m ready to be the hostess with the mostess. Even though I’m not a hostess.” You laugh at his ridiculousness, following him out of the lounge.

Bang walks into the dining room, taking his place by the table that holds eighteen roses on a tray. You would be sending home six men tonight. With Taehyung already having a rose, that leaves eighteen more to give out.

You thank your producer for having you practice how to pin the roses beforehand, it would definitely make the whole process go a lot faster and be a lot less painful for both parties.

Chan is next to you, waiting for your cue from the cameraman in the other room. Once he receives the signal, he pushes you forward a bit.

Your silver heels hitting the tile floor are pretty much the only sound in the room. You can tell that everyone is nervous, and honestly, you are a bit too.

You stand next to the rose table, glancing down at the multitude of roses being served literally on a silver platter. Bang is next to you, speaking to the gentlemen.

“Gentlemen, good evening, and welcome to your first rose ceremony. Most of you know how this goes, but for those that don’t, I’ll lay it out for you all. If you hear your name called, step forward to accept a rose. Taehyung, you got the first impression rose; congratulations, you have nothing to worry about tonight. As for the rest of you, if you do not hear your name, you will be sent home immediately. So, I wish you all the best, and if you’re ready, Y/N, you may begin.”

Bang backs up towards the door, merely an onlooker as you begin the process of handing out the roses.

You look at the faces of all of the men standing before you. Taking a step forward away from the table, you suddenly feel a lot more weight on your shoulders than you did ten minutes ago.

You clear your throat before speaking.

“First of all, I’d like to thank all of you for being here tonight. I know I kept saying it throughout the night but I cannot stress enough how much it means to me that you all took the time and sacrificed things to be here. It was such a great night, but this is the hard part where I have to say goodbye. Even though I have to say goodbye to some of you tonight, I am still hopeful that I can find love on this journey and I’m so thankful for that.”

Pausing after your speech, you take a look down at the platter again, grabbing a rose this time.

You fumble around with it in your hands, looking up at the men before beginning the process of handing out roses.

“Hoseok.”

He smiles from his spot on the far left end of the second row, stepping out and making the short walk towards you.

“Hoseok, will you accept this rose?”

“Always.”

(A/N: my Potterhead heart is hurting) 

Smiling, you pin the rose to the lapel of his jacket, hugging him before he turns to walk back to his spot.

Picking up the next rose, you call out Yoongi’s name.

A small smile graces his face as you pin the rose to his lapel, hugging him and continuing the process for a handful more boys, including klutzy Namjoon, skateboarding Jooheon, and even ostrich egg owner Seungcheol.

It is now down to the last rose, and there are seven men left: Jaehyun, Jeonghan, Taeil, Hyunwoo, Minhyuk, Joshua, and Jeongguk.

Bang steps out from the shadows of the room as you stare at the final rose.

“Gentlemen, this is the final rose this evening. If your name is not called, you will be going home,” he turns to you. “Whenever you’re ready, Y/N.”

You grab onto the rose, before looking back up at the group of men remaining.

You had been between two people all night, feeling a good connection with both but knowing that one needed to go home. You stared back and forth discreetly between the two of them, before settling on one and calling out his name.

“Jeongguk.”

You see him let out a breath of relief as he steps down a level to make his way over to you.

“Jeongguk, will you accept this rose?”

“Yes, I will,” he smiles.

Pinning the rose onto his jacket, you whisper to him, “Thank you for not making me attempt to pin this onto a bunny suit.”

He giggles at you before leaning in for a quick hug. Now back in his spot, Bang comes forward again.

“Gentlemen, I’m sorry, but if your name wasn’t called, please say your goodbyes.”

The men continued to do the standard bro high-five, some men hug, some shake hands as you watch from your spot at the front of the room.

One by one, each man makes his way to you to hug you goodbye, wishing you the best and thanking you for the opportunity.

You never understood why the people leaving always thanked the Bachelor/Bachelorette for the opportunity - you’re not the one who casted them.

Still, you accepted their gratitude and sent them on their way.

By the time the rose ceremony has wrapped up, the sun is beginning to peak over the horizon, signaling the start of a new day and the end of your own.

The staff brings in flutes of mimosas, everyone grabbing one then turning to look at you.

“So here’s to surviving the first night, for making amazing impressions and for continuing the search for love,” you drawl out. “Cheers!”

“Cheers!” everyone yells out, clinking glasses and sipping on their breakfast cocktail.

‘One week down, nine to go,’ you think to yourself. Your journey has only just begun.

Week 1 Callout Order Results:

Kim, Taehyung (aged 26, 5’ 10”, Music Producer, Hometown: Daegu)

Jung, Hoseok (aged 28, 5’ 10”, Journalist, Hometown: Gwangju)

Min, Yoongi (aged 29, 5’ 8.5”, Professional Pianist, Hometown: Daegu)

Kim, Mingyu (aged 24/25, 6’ 2”, Chiropractor, Hometown: Gyeonggi-do)

Lee, Taeyong (aged 26, 5’ 9”, Sales Account Executive, Hometown: Seoul)

Chae, Hyungwon (aged 28, 5’ 11”, College Professor, Hometown: Gwangju)

Kim, Namjoon (aged 27, 5’ 11”, Pharmacy Technician, Hometown: Ilsan)

Choi, Seungcheol (aged 26, 5’ 10”, IT Consultant, Hometown: Daegu)

Jeon, Wonwoo (aged 25, 6’ 0”, Software Engineer, Hometown: Gyeongsangnam-do)

Lee, Jooheon (aged 27, 5’ 10”, Graphic Designer, Hometown: Seoul)

Yoo, Kihyun (aged 28, 5’ 9”, Dental Assistant, Hometown: Ilsan)

Kim, Seokjin (aged 29, 5’ 10.5”, Physical Therapist, Hometown: Gwacheon)

Park, Jimin (aged 26, 5’ 8.5”, Social Media Coordinator, Hometown: Busan)

Seo, Johnny (aged 27, 6’ 0”, Translator, Hometown: Chicago)

Lee, Seokmin (aged 25, 5’ 10.5”, Creative Director, Hometown: Gyeonggi-do)

Kwon, Soonyoung (aged 25, 5’ 10”, Executive Assistant, Hometown: Gyeonggi-do)

Shin, Hoseok (Wonho) (aged 30, 5’ 10”, Fitness Coach, Hometown: Anyang)

Im, Changkyun (aged 26, 5’ 9”, Marketing Consultant, Hometown: Gwangju)

Jeon, Jeongguk (aged 24, 5’ 10”, Wedding Videographer, Hometown: Busan)

Hong, Joshua (aged 26, 5’ 10”, Pastry Chef, Hometown: Los Angeles)

Jung, Jaehyun (aged 25, 5’ 11”, Realtor, Hometown: Seoul)

Lee, Minhyuk (aged 28, 5’ 10”, Sales Rep, Hometown: Gwangju)

Moon, Taeil (aged 27, 5’ 7”, Attorney, Hometown: Seoul)

Sohn, Hyunwoo (aged 29, 5’ 11”, Mechanic, Hometown: Changdong)

Yoon, Jeonghan (aged 26, 5’ 10”, Research Assistant, Hometown: Hwaseong)

[sunnysidewrites]

Neighbor!Woozi

based on this post hehehe

i just fed yall TWICE. in the span of just 2 DAYS!!! AND THEY’RE BOTH MORE OR LESS THE SAME LONG ASS LENGTH!!! yeah that’s right i went overboard again gtg

happy happy bday to the lovely admin bee of @mansaeboysbe you are such a beautiful person inside and out, and im incredibly proud to know someone like you :’))) i’ve already sent a bday message to you so im not tryna redo it LOL but just know that i love you a whole lot and i always will! 💗💗💗💗💓💓 (she’s also the same person who gave me those beautiful headers on my mlist so please give her tons of love <333) love you sm hub hope you have a wonderful and fantastic day!!!

*to all the mutuals with bdays that have either passed or are coming up, i love you all SO FREAKING MUCH so pls dont feel left out!! it just so happened that i wanted to write this au for a long time and i wanted to present it as a bday gift for this jihoon stan hehe but i rlly love each every single one of u ok babes? <333*

warnings: i feel like i dragged this on for too long but i hope it’s still cute :’)) also i put in a joke like twice LOL anyways lil wooz only gets tongue-tied around you so you become his muse for songs

You were looking for a place to stay in bc “I am a grown adult i am not living with yall anymore” you @ your parents

And they’re like lol ok Good Luck Kiddo

After a month and a half of deeeeep searching you finally find a reasonably priced place to live in

It’s quite a distance from your parents’ home but it’s the point of you moving out to begin with

On the move-in day, you’re carrying your boxes up to your new apartment complex and you hear some tunes drifting from your next door neighbor

And you’re like hey this is actually really good music but i’ve never heard of it

You shrug it off and continue settling in

Once you finished hauling your boxes, you were about to pass out on your couch

Ok you actually did pass out on your couch

But you had to unpack some necessities later that night for bathroom and bedroom purposes

All you had for dinner was pop in some instant ramen and call it a night. You then hopped in the shower and got ready for bed

The following morning it was primarily you unpacking and shifting around your furniture a little but it was challenging by yourself

You were making a good amount of noise and in the middle of the day you were met with a very loud knock on your door

And you were in the middle of unpacking your kitchenware so you were like oh shoot ahh i’ll be right there!!

Little did you know your next door neighbor wasn’t having any of it

Can’t I get some peace and quiet around here? He grumbled as he impatiently waited for you to open the door

I swear, I’m gonna tell them off they won’t even knOW what will hit--

You finally opened the door, and he’s like oh. My gosh.

You had a few pieces of hair sticking to your forehead and your hair was tied back in a messy bun

You were dressed in a faded coral tee underneath a pair of worn-out denim overalls with house slippers

Everything he planned to complain about suddenly vanished and his first thought was:

“Is that Pikachu on your front pocket?”

Apparently he said that aloud, which he didn’t register until he saw you giggling

“Yeah, it was a hand-me-down! Still cute, right?”

And he’s kinda still just staring at you with his mouth slightly agape

And you’re like oh right ahem did you need anything?

That’s when he notices the utter mess behind you: plastic covering still over some of your furniture, half-emptied boxes littered in almost every inch of the floor, etc.

And that’s when it hits him: all that noise was you unpacking

“O-oh yeah, I just,, wanted to let you know that it was getting a little loud since I live right next door”

He silently curses at himself like i almost went off at my new neighbor rip that wasn’t gonna be a good first impression

Luckily for him, you were chill about it and you’re like omg sorry!!! It’s a little tough doing this by myself, sorry for the ruckus

Before he could stop himself, he blurted out, “do you need any help?”

Jihoon internally: u doofus u have an album to produce whAT ARE U DOING

Jihoon externally: i can help you :))) no matter how smol i may be

But that internal reprimanding melted away when he saw your eyes light up in relief and you’re practically bouncing up and down

“Would you, really??? It would be great if I had another hand around! Oh, but you’re probably occupied doing something, right??” and you feel bad that a stranger, your next door neighbor nonetheless, was about to abandon his work just for you

A cute neighbor, at that

Jihoon is like ok this is your chance to get away and go back to work cmon man

But there’s just something about you that pulls him in magnetically and he finds himself trying to reason internally that it’ll just be for a “few moments”

Yyyeaaahhh that doesn’t happen lmao rip Jihoon’s songs

Jihoon is just like “nah it’s fine I can help out for a bit” and you’re like god bless this human being

When you open your door further to let him in, he’s like oh right btw I’m Jihoon

“I’m y/n! Sorry about the mess, I only got here yesterday evening”

He shakes his head and quirks up his lips ever so slightly, “i remember when my place looked like this too except replace this space with music production things”

And you’re like ooOOoOoOO you make songs??? That’s amazing!!

And that’s when you got the ball rolling!!!

“A few moments” turn into hours and the next thing you know it’s dinnertime

“Oh crap sorry for keeping you for this long,,, those songs won’t produce themselves, right? I think I can take it from here”

Admittedly, jihoon didn’t wanna leave just yet bc he actually enjoyed your company and it was nice taking a break from staring at his screen frustratedly

“Well, I don’t mind helping out. I could show you my work one day if you want”

And you’re like holy cheeseballs yES

He starts getting up and brushing off his clothes and you’re a little sad that he’s leaving and he kinda is too :(

“If you’re not too busy tomorrow, you’re welcome to help me out more! I mean, you already helped me a whole lot today, but there’s still some things left to do”

As much as his brain is telling him to NOT DO IT,,,,

He does it

Next thing you know, jihoon is at your door again around the same time and he has something in his hand

As you let him inside, you ask him what it is and he’s like ;))))

“It’s a CD that compiled just a few songs I thought you might like”

And you’re #shook bc did he really just have a CD like this out in the open or did he really take his time yesterday to transfer songs on it??

“Do you have a player or a laptop?”

“Yeah, my laptop is on my bed, you can bring it out here!” You shout over your shoulder as you arrange your things in the living room

Shortly afterwards he emerges from the hallway and he presses a few buttons and clicks here and there and beautiful melodies ring out from your speakers

You can’t help but stop rustling to take in the sweet tunes and you’re just like :’))) have i heard anything so beautiful??? :’)))

One of the songs sound vaguely familiar and you realize it’s what you heard when you first arrived here

“Did you actually produce this??? This sounds like an actual song you can hear on the radio”

And he’s like yep made by yours truly!!!

He was only using “yours truly” half-metaphorically if you know what I mean ;)))

You keep bouncing to all the catchy tunes and swaying to the soulful ones

And in all honesty, seeing your reactions makes Jihoon feel really warm and even a little proud bc it’s one of the biggest reasons why he loves his job so much

He makes eye contact with you and you’re like :D and he’s like ahEM COuGh coUGh i’m gonna dust this shelf over here

He suddenly stands up and busies himself and you’re like ???? okie dokie

He’s a real help around the place and you’re practically done settling in

As you survey your fresh living space, you can’t help but feel a little…. Disheartened?

Bc it was actually really fun to have him around even while he made blunt remarks about your taste of decorations

“This looks like something my five-year-old niece would have”

“For your information, I got that from a five-year-old!! It’s cute, alright!”

You spent the past three days with Jihoon unpacking and talking about whatever comes to mind

Jihoon is pretty devastated that he has to go back to his makeshift studio in his room as much as he will never admit it

He eventually leaves your place and the both of you are just sad little puppies

From then on, every time you pass by each other, you greet him with a friendly smile and wave and you never fail to make his heart skip several beats

You don’t talk as much as how you first started bc he’s gotten much busier trying to mass-produce a lot of songs

For some strange reason, every time you hear a melody coming from the other side of the walls, you feel like you’re somehow connected with him

Well, except for the muffled cursing LMAO

And sometimes you would also hear several male voices at once and you’re guessing they’re his friends or the people he’s working with on the song, but based on their friendly banter and the constant run-throughs, it’s probably both

You would hear the same melody play over and over again, and you’re guessing he’s stuck on a certain part of a song as he tries to recreate new melodies from that point on

“aaAAGHGHHHGGHHHH” *deep sigh* me trying to overcome writer’s block LMAO

This would happen for about half an hour and you can’t help but wanting to reach out to him, but you’re not exactly the most musically-inclined person sadly

When he ultimately calms down, he goes back to working on the song until he finally gets the results he desires

More often than not, you fall asleep from hearing the slow ballads he creates with a smile on your face

Lil Jihoon does try to visit you and vice versa!! He sometimes shows up with random food and more CDs and you’re wondering just how many songs has this guy produced in his lifetime??? He looks around the same age as you but he’s probably produced 26+ songs by the way he packs a decent amount on each CD

Usually his excuse to sharing a meal with you is that “the guys brought over too much and i have a ton of leftovers that i can’t finish by myself”

In reality, he stared at a restaurant’s menu and contemplated for about twenty minutes about what you would like. This guy’s got dedication not just for work

“Would it be weird if i get fried chicken?? Maybe just a bowl of noodles?? What if soup is better??? It would give weird vibes if i bought drinks too, right?? Or should i just go ahead and buy them???”

Regardless of what he buys, you’re eager to eat anything and everything with your fav neighbor *wink wonk*

You feel bad when he would do that though, so you try to return the favor every so often as well

One time, you ordered some takeout but the servings were waaaaay bigger than advertised and you’re like Idea!! Let’s head over next door!! So you took the plastic bags and put in some drinks before heading out the door

You knocked on the door and that was when you heard light chatter on the other side of the door

You’re like sldjfljds i hope im not interrupting anything aaa mAYBE I SHOULD JUST LEAVE--

Too late, someone’s voice rang out “I’ll get it!” and next thing you know, the door swings out to reveal a face you’ve never seen before

“Oh, hi!” He says a little surprisedly but with a smile nevertheless

“H-hi, umm,,,, is Jihoon there?”

The guy is nodding his head in the direction of the back hallway, “yeah, he’s in the bathroom” and that’s when he looks down at your hands and his eyes instantly light up

“Omg did you bring food?? You’re so thoughtful!! Come in, come in!!” and before you could protest he literally drags you in and you’re met with a bunch of other strangers who are staring back at you like :oooo????

“Who’s this?? Jihoon never mentioned someone coming over today,, AND YOU CAN’T JUST DRAG SOMEONE IN THIS ISN’T YOUR HOME”

And you’re like ya i didnt know either lmao

You’re awkwardly shifting on your feet and praying jihoon will pop up instantaneously bc you’re gonna melt in embarrassment

“I just wanted to give him some of this,” you hold up your hands to gesture your food, “since it’s too much for me to finish on my own��

“Oh that’s cool! Some of the other guys are actually out to get more lunch, but food goes out fast with all of us here,” another guy says as he pats your shoulder reassuringly. “Well, since you’re already here, you can join us!”

“I-it’s ok! I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything, I just wanted to deliver this,,, I’ll get going” and you’re about to zOOM outta there but the same guy who ushered you in is like nO DONT LEAVE

“We’re taking a lunch break, so it’s cool if you join us! I’m Soonyoung” and he’s like :DDD and you’re just like ,,,, what a hyper guy but i like him

Everyone goes around to introducing themselves

you do a headcount of 8 and you remember there’s more guys getting food for them,,,, holy heck how many people do they have???? You’re about to introduce yourself after them but then

“Soonyoung, who was at the door--” a familiar voice calls out in the hallway before he emerges

And jihoon is like dsljLSJDF what the hELL

“Y/N??? What are you doing here???” *side eyes soonyoung*

And everyone’s making eyes at each other like waIT WAIT THIS IS Y/N???

“Soonyoung dragged me inside”

“Gdi soonyoung, how many times do i have to tell you that you can’t go around dragging people to join us???”

This guy who you think is named Seokmin pipes up, “yeah he does this all the time at our workplace too. A lot of our coworkers always end up extending their stay for far too long” and you’re nodding slowly like yeahhh i can see that happening

Soonyoung’s eyes are widened and he turns to jihoon like “is this the y/n that inspired your recent so--”

And jihoon is quick to cover his mouth so his voice is all muffled

“aHahaAHHAH soonyoung’s always the joker, april fools day!!! Let’s set the table, the others should be back soon”

jihoon whispering to soonyoung: you better sleep with one eye open tonight boi

And you’re like uhh alrighty :)))???

About twenty minutes after you’ve arrived, there’s another knock on the door

Soonyoung is practically bouncing on his way to the door and you can hear more unknown voices

They’re filing in and they suddenly stop and look at you like wait what

Them: :o????

You: :))),,, what up

Jeonghan briefly explains the situation to the guy who came in the door first and you’re lowkey intimidated bc he seems to be eldest and looks like he could beat you up to a pulp

BOY WERE YOU WRONG

After jeonghan tells him, he breaks out into this gigantic, cute gummy smile like welcome!! :DD i’m seungcheol! And the other guys behind him follow suit

Jeonghan’s like “this is,, y/n” and everyone tries to be subtle and nods like they didn’t hear jihoon babble on and on about you for weeks

You: ok why do yall act all weird when my name is brought up whAT DID JIHOON TELL YOU

Them: i would tell you but i don’t wanna die just yet sorry dude

Jihoon, somewhere in the kitchen: SET! THE! TABLE!

You end up staying there for a pretty long time, bonding over the whole feast you have and it’s really lively and fun, not to mention super loud with 13 guys in the same room,,, but you’re genuinely having a good time

Jihoon would glance at you nervously occasionally to check on you if you’re uncomfortable in any way

Jeonghan, who’s sitting next to him, notices jihoon’s eyes are practically glued to you and he’s like “is this the part where you confess your undying love and propose”

And jihoon is like shUT UP NO WHAT this chicken tastes great *quickly chugs down water*

You look back at jihoon sometimes and see he looks flushed but it’s not like he’s drinking alcohol

“Jihoon are you feeling ok?? Your ears are bright red” which obviously makes them redder rip

“I-i’m fine,, wow is it hot in here maybe it’s just the spiciness of the chicken let’s open the windows”

You eventually leave them as much as they protest and even try to get Jihoon to guilt trip you (unsuccessfully)

“Don’t leave just yet y/n!! You should stay, right Jihoon???”

“Huh?? O-oh yeah, I mean, you can if you want,,,,, we kinda need to work though”

Everyone’s looking at jihoon like bro wTF are u kidding me

Rip reader i can feel your heart drop :’(((

You’re feeling slightly dejected but you nod understandingly. You’ve already stayed far longer than you anticipated anyways, and work comes first for Jihoon

“Yeah, I totally get it! Good luck on the album guys!” You put on your shoes and close the door

When they finally hear your own door close, they’re attacking jihoon like

“SO Y/N IS THE ONE BEHIND ALL YOUR SAPPY LOVE SONGS HUH!!!”

“I knew it, the lyrics just suddenly got cheesier -- there had to be someone behind all of that”

And jihoon is just praying you won’t hear what they’re saying like “SHUT UP THESE WALLS ARE THIN”

Back at your apartment, it suddenly feels much emptier and lonelier

“What am i doing,,, I just met the guys for like two hours???”

You sigh and you try to busy yourself doing other things but you hear a loud commotion on the other side of the walls with just a bunch of incoherent shouting

You smile and laugh to yourself when you think about how close they all are

Your smile slowly fades when you start wishing you wanna be close to Jihoon and you’re like snAP OUT OF IT!!!

A couple of weeks pass by uneventfully but you notice that Jihoon has gotten more reserved around you

It’s just him being bashful around you and he panics every time he sees you but obviously he doesn’t want you to know that

You’re standing at your little mini balcony and admiring your cute little cactus plants

Just as you start thinking about him and his wellbeing, you hear your name and you’re like wHO’S THERE

You look down and see Jihoon staring back at you and honestly he looks like he’s awestruck by your whole beauty bc seriously everything you wear always looks super good to him

[insert photo]

(also pretend he’s holding plastic bags)

He holds up his hands and you’re laughing bc you know exactly what that means

“Come on up!”

There’s a knock on your door promptly afterwards and what do you know!!! It’s the man himself!!!

It’s just funny how the both of you have this ongoing routine that you know what to expect

When you let him in, he places the bags on your table and quickly smiles to himself when he sees your laptop on your bed

You and Jihoon both mindlessly do your respective roles as usual

He slowly comes out in the living room with your laptop and he’s like “so the album is pretty much done now,,, i can’t release all of the songs yet but there’s one i want you to listen to. I’ll show you after we eat”

You’re like ooo im excited and you start catching up with him as you’re eating

You can’t contain your excitement any longer, so as soon as you eat the last bit of your food, you’re like “oKAY SHOW ME IT NOW” as you’re restlessly shifting on your legs

He nods and pulls up the media player on your laptop. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before pressing play

It’s a melody you’re quite acquaintanced with after hearing it countless times at night, the same tune that lulls you to sleep

You have high expectations for this song, and surely he surpasses them with flying colors

You’re enjoying the song and telling him “wow this is a really good song!” when suddenly some lyrics catch your attention

You hear something about messy hair pulled back, ruffled clothes, eating meals

And you’re like huh that sounds a lot like us haha is that supposed to be me??

Jihoon is avoiding eye contact with you and looking down at his fidgeting hands as the song progresses in its later verses

The lyrics talk about wanting to develop a deeper relationship, one where “it’s okay to tell me anything, your hardships and desires. I just want to see you smile” and you’re like wait,,,,

And one of the final lyrics says something about “i can’t help feeling like this, will you accept my hand?” and you’re like wait wait w a i t

The song comes to an end and silence fills the room

You’re not sure whether you should speak up first or wait for him, but either way you’re speechless and wouldn’t know what to say anyways

Jihoon clears his throat awkwardly and stumbles on his words poor bby

“S-so, yeah,,,, I’ve been working on this one the longest,,,, umm do you,,, like it?”

But you know better that he’s not just talking about the song

“Nah sorry man i’m not interested”

“O.”

April fools kiddos ofc you are

“....yeah. I do like it”

And he finally brings himself to look at you and he’s like !!!!! really????

“Wait, for real??? You actually like it???”

He’s pretty much paralyzed in shock and all he can do is watch your hand move towards his and hold it

“I like it a lot, Jihoon :)”

He blinks slowly and he can’t fight the grin that spreads on his face as he grips your hand back

“I’m accepting your hand now heehee ^^”

“Okay let’s not talk about that”

[unstoppableforcce]

New Rules

Poe Dameron x reader

Request: “I need a Poe Dameron x reader to the plot of New Rules by Dua Lipa, ya feel me?”

Word count: 1.6k

A/N: thank you guys for the requests, I hope you enjoy. Once I finish the last requests I have now, I’ll post part 4 of mistake. Keep sending requests :)

One: don’t pick up the phone

The ringing message on your data pad snapped your head up from where it was buried deep in your X-wing. You were just doing casual repairs, nothing to stress a regular mechanic about.

Sliding back in your chair, you reached your greasy hand to grab your pad in order to check the message.

“Hey babe.”

You didn’t need to read who had sent the message, you knew it was Poe, the most notable pilot in the resistance.

Your relationship was on and off at best, the whole base knew it. Some days, you would work real hard and he was there when you needed to blow off steam in the best possible ways. Other days, you’d argue and be convinced it was over between the two of you for good. And even when things were ok, there was the sense that both of you were holding back. Him more than you.

You thought that it was you, that you were the reason he wouldn’t go all in but you kept trying. Kept opening his data message like this, falling back into his trap when you knew better. For some reason, you just couldn’t block him out.

“Hey.” You responded over your data pad, moving to get back to work but he responded before you could really move.

“Where are you?”

You wanted to respond, your fingers quickly typing out that you were in the hanger working but your conscience stopped you before you could press send. What were you doing?

He’s probably drunk or at least tipsy, that’s when he always messaged you. He didn’t often make an effort to restore a relationship with you, but when he was drunk and alone, his body wanted you more than his mind could stop him.

But you pressed send anyways.

Returning to your work, it took less than ten minutes for the curly haired pilot to appear at your side. Your head was deep in your ship but you soon felt two hands grip your shoulders gently. His hands were calloused, large and rough, uncomfortably grasping your shoulders but something about it felt soft and comforting. Maybe it was the fact that you knew they were his hands.

“You work too hard.” He spoke out, just loud enough for you to hear over the clanking metal of the hanger, his hands deliberately massaging the base of your neck.

“Some of us have to.” You mumbled back, pulling your head from your ship to lean back against him. Staring up at him, it was hard to admit he wasn’t the most beautiful man on the planet. If only he was better with relationships.

“You shouldn’t have to.” He added, leaning down to press a kiss to the side of your face, allowing you to smell the alcohol across his breath.

“We can’t all be the best pilot in the resistance.” You added quietly, slowly falling in a way you knew you shouldn’t. But his hands were so warm, his kiss felt so genuine, it was hard not to.

“For what it’s worth.” He pressed another kiss to your cheek, edging closer to your lips. “I think you’re the best-“ he kept kissing the corner of your lips as your eyes fluttered shut. “Pilot besides me.” He added softly, making you chuckle before pressing a soft kiss directly onto your lips with a smile.

“Means a lot from you.” You responded as he pulled away and kept massaging your neck.

“I should hope so.” He added, smiling as he stared down at you.

You let the fantasy drift momentarily as you heard noises draw you back to reality, you still had repairs to finish. You instinctively gripped back onto your wrench but his hands floated down to gently pull it away.

“Come back to your room with me.” He whispered seductively into your ear before kissing right behind your ear.

“I can’t-“

“Yes, you can. And you know it.”

“I can’t-“ but his lips were on yours before you had a chance to deny them. A more passionate kiss this time, his teeth pulling at your bottom lip with a sense of urgency.

“You can.” He muttered back onto your lips.

“I can.” You added back as he pulled you into a standing position.

It wasn’t long before you both were standing in front of your room, waiting eagerly as you typed in the code.

Two: don’t let him in, you’ll have to kick him out again.

He attacked your lips with his as soon as you stepped into your room, not even giving you a chance to drop your bag or even take a breath. You weren’t complaining though, fighting back just as furiously as he was, hands entangling in his hair as you felt his grasp your body just below the ribs.

You knew he wouldn’t be this passionate about talking about your relationship in the morning. You knew he might not even be around when you woke up, but if he was, you would kick him out anyways, opting to go to work instead of for a second (or fourth) round.

And as he threw you down onto the bed, undoing his belt quickly, all thoughts about that left your mind.

__________

You woke up to see that he was lying snug against your pillow, stroking your cheek gently as you turned to fully face him.

“Don’t you have a meeting?” You asked, a meek and quiet voice escaping your soft lips and melting his heart unknowingly.

“It’s not important.” His raspy voice responded, leaning forward to press his head against yours.

“Yes it is, you need to leave.” You defended and he laughed.

“I can stay with you all day.”

“I have work to do.” You now argued, sitting up, pulling the sheet up to your chest, breaking his strong gaze.

“Screw work.”

“Huh.” You threw out in disbelief. “I wish I had that luxury.” You said as you got up and began getting dressed. “C’mon, get out, get to work.” You ordered and slowly but surly, he got up, pulling on his own clothes.

“But I’ll see you later, me and the guys are getting drinks.” He said as you slowly moved him to the door, a hand on his shirtless chest as you forced him to walk backwards as he pulled on his boots.

“I ca-“

“Don’t say you can’t. Just come hang out with us. You are a pilot like the rest of us.” He argued back as you pressed him up against the door to get him out as he began pulling his shirt over his head.

“Poe-“

“It’ll be fun, cmon babe.” He smiled, that perfect dameron smile that you just couldn’t say no to.

Three: don’t be his friend.

“Fine. I guess.” You added and he smiled even brighter. He leaned down and pulled you into a quick kiss effortlessly before you pushed him out the door.

And after a hard days work, you met him at the bar along with the rest of the pilots. It was friendly. Too friendly. Too close for you to. Especially with the way his hand held your thigh as he joked, especially when he squeezed higher up when he thought no one was paying attention, especially the way he leaned up against you like you were more than you were.

You continued to drink, figuring that you deserved the relaxation the liquor provided you with given the stress he was giving you.

All it would take to make you feel better was some sort of commitment from him but he would never tie himself down. He didn’t love you the way you loved him. And for right now, you settled.

As you all said your goodbyes to each other, Poe grabbed you by the hand and pulled you towards his room. You didn’t exactly protest either.

You know you’re gunna wake up in his bed in the morning.

You kissed him just as much as he kissed you, but had to hold yourself back every so often. You were afraid that a kiss that was a little too passionate might scream your feelings loud and clear to him.

You were too caught up in not getting too caught up that you didn’t even feel the way he kissed you a little too passionately. The way he held your waist against his, not wanting to let you go.

You didn’t know that the only reason he couldn’t commit was because he was terrified every flight he took might be his last. He was paralyzed with fear when he thought about losing you and that was scary on its own. Not to mention that you were in the same line of work. You put your life on the line just as much as he did.

And if he distanced himself, didn’t tie himself to you, he prayed that would make things less painful for both of you when the other didn’t come home from a mission.

He would never tell you though. He would just pull your hips closer and moan into your mouth a little louder, cherish you just a little longer before it was too late.

And when you woke up under him the next morning, you knew you would never get over him.