#Poe Dameron x reader

[aphrcdites]

the bond between a girl and their favorite fictional man is both an unstoppable force and an immovable object

[bethsvrse]

me staring at my ceiling after y/n does the most FLABBERGASTING thing ever

[l0caltiredgirl]

when i want fluff/angst fics and all i’m getting is smut

the struggle is real

[xenop0p]

This is just so good

The Pink and Blue Ribbon

The Pink and Blue Ribbon Poe Dameron X F!Reader Wordcount: 3.9k (ish) Rating: M Warnings : Infertility/inability to have children, angst, panic attacks, fluff (I promise still fluffy!), talk of children, Poe Dameron being the absolute supportive sweetheart we know he is, (no magical cure) Summary : Living with the new found knowledge you won't be able to have children is hard. Living with the fear of losing the person you love most, is harder.

A/N : This isn't my usual kinda fic so while I tagged the usual's feel free to ignore.

I see a lot on the dash about how Poe would be such a good dad and how excited he would be about pregnancy (which I agree with) but I never see anything from the other side. From the perspective of readers who can't get pregnant, or maybe can, but never got to bring their baby home, and live in fear perhaps they won't ever be able to. There is still such a taboo around talking about miscarriage and infertility. While on the other hand the notion that getting pregnant is simple. But for those of us that the line is not so linier, not so simple, for the fear and feelings it brings, this is for you.

(For context the pink and blue ribbon is a symbol for miscarriage, and infertility awareness).

-Banner made by the beautiful @salome-c . Thank you for making something so special.

----------

"So, when are we going to have little Dameron's running around? You guys have been married for a while now."

Snap's question makes your heart plummet into your stomach and your chest tighten in sudden panic of how to answer.

It wasn't like you hadn't tried. But nothing had worked out in your favour and then the news had finally come that it never would.

Poe had promised you it was okay, that it didn't matter and he still loved you just as much as he always had. Then he held you tightly as you sobbed and tried to ease the pain with his promise, swearing to you that no matter what you would work this out together.

But no challenge could come close to the difficulty of navigating such devastating news.

You knew how much Poe wanted a family. You had spent many hours talking about it, painting a picture in your head of the house and the land that you would buy together; the spare room that would be reserved for a nursery. Together, you would debate about potential baby names and you would insist that whenever you were more hungry than usual, perhaps it was because you were now eating for two.

One day, the house in those dreams would be filled with children’s laughter.

But the news had shattered all of those dreams. One day was never going to come. The family home, filled with the laughter of your children, would stay just a dream. Something unattainable for you.

You were broken, defective.

No amount of reassurance and support from Poe could change your mind: it’s how you saw yourself. Your body simply didn’t work as you longed for it to and no words or promises would ever fix that. It was a heartbreak you would have to learn to live with.

"I think we already have our hands full with yours." You force what you hope comes across as an easy smile as you nod over to Poe, watching him give chase after Snap and Karè's twins, pretending to be too slow to catch them.

The look of pure delight on Poe's face only crushes you more.

Watching him scoop up both of the twins–one under each arm, spinning them as he makes X-Wing engine noises–you wondered if today was the day he'd realise that he couldn't stay with you. That you couldn't give him this. That after all the conversations and promises, love simply wouldn't be enough.

It was only a matter of time until he realised that. And the overwhelming thought of losing him made you feel sick to your stomach.

"You know any kid with Poe's DNA is going to be worse than ours," Snap snorts, "I mean… look at him."

Having put the children safely back on the floor, the General was wobbling on his feet, begging them to let him get his balance back before he tried that again.

"Yeah…" your response is distracted and it doesn't go amiss.

"Hey, are you sure you're okay? You've been quiet all day."

Part of you wants to tell Snap the truth, to lay it out and explain everything that continues to swell and storm inside of you, desperate for release. But the words won't come. Not yet. Speaking them aloud would make them true and the last thing you needed or wanted was sympathy and looks of pity. Not from your friends. Not from anyone.

"Yeah, I'm just not feeling great. Will you let Poe know I've gone back to our room?"

"Yeah, sure." Snap frowns at you before giving you a hug. You see it written all over his face: he wants to ask questions. He knows something is wrong, but he lets you go anyway.

When you’re ready, you’ll tell him everything.

But not today. Today all you want to do is run back to your room, desperate to hide away in fear that they'll see how broken you are.

~

You stand in the middle of your room and look around. The all-too familiar emptiness weighing heavy on your chest as you listen to the silence, while the conversations with Poe still echo in your mind.

Only a few months ago, you had sat with him at the table, discussing the future of your family.

"I still want one of each," Poe had demanded with a grin, sitting down at the table, "boy and a girl."

"I told you, it doesn't work like that. You can't just put in an order," you had laughed, shaking your head. "But I'll have a word and see what I can do, just for you."

Dragging your chair close to his, he'd wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you onto his lap, pressing a soft kiss to your shoulder.

"Fine. Two boys or two girls is also acceptable... As long as they inherit their mom's good looks." Oh, Poe had played all the smooth-talking cards. And of course it had melted you.

"Right, we absolutely wouldn't want them to look like you," you had giggled, wrapping your arms around his neck.

You remembered the fear that had stirred in your stomach even then, and you wondered if your instinct had known all along. If something–perhaps bigger than life and the Force itself–had tried to warn you.

"What if we can't? I mean, we've tried for so long… what if–"

Poe had shaken his head, cutting off your words with a sweet kiss.

"Don't worry. I'm sure everything will be fine. You always worry about nothing." His reassurance had made you smile and you pushed down the nagging doubts once again.

As ever, his distractions temporarily silenced them in your mind.

"Now, who do I speak to about that order?" Poe had grinned.

It was an unsettling and strange feeling, to know that this room had once been filled with so much hope for the future, but now, it only felt empty and cold.

The intrusive thoughts that had reared their ugly head while you sat with Snap now came clawing back, sinking their talons into your heart and refusing to offer any release to the relentless pain you felt.

Poe deserved better than you. He deserved to have the family he'd dared to dream about since the war ended.

He deserved better than broken.

There's no stopping the tears that finally break free, the overflow of emotions that catch in your throat and choke you. At some point, your knees crumple beneath you as though they’re no longer able to support the unbearable weight of the emotions you’ve been carrying around for weeks. You don't even register the pain as you hit the floor, too lost in the storm.

And that's where Poe finds you just a few minutes later.

You’re a sobbing mess on the floor, stifling your cries with one hand while the other wraps around your body, desperately trying to hold together whatever pieces are left.

Within seconds, he's on his knees with his arms around you before the door has fully closed behind him.

"What happened? What's wrong? Snap said you aren't well?" Poe’s voice is panicked, desperate for answers to questions that he fires off in quick succession before you can answer the first.

Shaking your head, you cover your face with your hands, so desperate to escape from the harsh reality for a few, fleeting moments.

You want to breathe without the overwhelming pain incapacitating you.

You want to run from it all, without the weight of it all holding you down.

You want to hold your husband without feeling like you were keeping him prisoner.

You want what you can never have — the family you dreamed of.

"Hey, talk to me. What happened?" Poe’s hands wrap around yours, their grip tender but firm while he tries to pry them gently from your face.

It takes you a few tries before you can get the words out. They’re broken by hiccupped stutters as you try to voice them but no matter how many times you’ve rehearsed them in your head, it’s almost impossible to speak them.

You know you have to do this for him, but it tears your heart apart at the thought of how much this will hurt him.

But It's for the best.

Poe deserves better.

"Y-You s-sh—you shouldn't b-be with me. We sh-should break u-up," you manage to stutter between sobs. His eyes widen with genuine shock before he frowns, holding your hands tighter as you try to pull away from him. Whatever explanation Poe had been expecting, it hadn’t been that.

"Woah, woah, what? Where has this all come from? Why would we ever do that?" It's all too easy to read the panicked confusion in his eyes. He didn’t understand what you were trying to offer; what you were trying to free him from.. He could have the life that he wanted, just not with you.

"S-Snap asked when we… When we would have k-kids. I know how much you want that. And you deserve that. You've already given up so much, and you're stuck with me, and I cant—I can't give you a family. Y-you should find s-someone who can. I-I'll be okay. It's okay. I'll understand. I do understand."

It's the first time you have allowed yourself to say it out loud, the first time you've truly offered him a way out. That’s when the realisation hits that he might take it, and that thought breaks the last of your strength. It shatters you and slices straight through the fragile thread that had barely been holding you together.

You can almost hear the break of your heart, feel the pain of it deep in your chest. The sobs that follow shake your body, causing each breath to become harder than the last. The blood roars in your ears and it's hard to see, a sudden dizziness overtaking you as you struggle to breathe.

"Stop. Stop. Look at me," taking your face in his hands, Poe forces you to meet his eyes. "Breathe. Sweetheart, calm down. Copy me, okay?"

He breathes in before letting it out slowly, forcing you to watch him until you try to steady your own breathing.

"You're okay. You're okay," he affirms softly, brushing his thumbs across your tear stained cheeks.

It takes a minute before you can speak again.

"I'm not okay. I'm broken, Poe." You murmur with a small shake of your head.

"You're not. You are not," he repeats firmly, emphasising each word as he holds your face. "You are perfect. The most kriffin perfect person I've ever met."

You shake your head again, a broken sob spluttering up that catches in your throat.

"You have to go. I-I can't do the one thing I'm supposed to be able to do. The one thing, Poe. I can't give you a family. I can't give you children and I know—I know how much you want it. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Poe. I'm sorry," you repeat, wrapping your arms around your middle and curling up, the pain from both the force of your sobs and the heartbreak simply too much to fight against.

Poe shushes you gently, desperately trying to calm you and ease the pain. But he’s at a loss of what to do to help, dropping his hands to your shoulders as you turn away from him, scared to see the pain in his eyes.

"We talked about this already. It doesn't matter. It's not important." Poe tries to keep his tone steady but you hear the desperation creeping in.

"It does. It will,” you cut in. “You'll hate me one day when you realise what you missed out on."

Hooking a finger under your chin, Poe lifts your head up again, fixing you with his unwavering gaze. When you try to turn away, he grips your jaw gently, preventing you from turning your head.

"No, stop that. Look at me for a minute and listen,” he tells you firmly. “I didn't fall in love with you because you could give me a family. I fell in love with you. The way you make me laugh harder than anyone. I fell in love with your kindness. I fell in love with your heart. I fell in love with the fact you're the most beautiful creature in this galaxy. From the day I met you, all I've ever wanted was to be with you. To live my life with you… To love you. Nothing would ever change that, and I could never hate you."

He releases your jaw, trusting that you won't turn away again and instead, leans his forehead against yours.

"This doesn't have to be the end of us or of having a family,” Poe continues. "We can look at other solutions. We can adopt. We can look at surrogacy. Or we can, I don't know, get a Porg or something. Anything you like. I'll let you pick."

Pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, he leans back on his heels and takes both your hands in his as you watch him through a blur of tears. The sincerity in his words, combined with the gentle unguarded look in his eyes makes your heart hurt all the more for him.

"Or we can do none of that. And that's okay, too. We can talk about it and decide whenever you're ready, but please don’t ever forget that the only important thing to me is you. As long as I have you, nothing else matters. Nothing."

His promises only make you cry harder in mourning for the future you have both lost.

"I thought that little speech might help but apparently I made it worse?" Normally his gentle teasing would have made you laugh but his kindness only causes you more pain. You can't help but feel as though you don't deserve it, not when he's the one giving everything up for you.

Sitting down next to you on the floor, he pulls you into his lap, your body pliant and tired after the storm of emotions that has wrecked you. You have no strength left to fight him so in your exhaustion, you submit to his warmth, allowing him to wrap his arms around you and hold you tightly.

"I don't want you to feel you have to s-stay… be-because none of this is fair on you," you stutter between sobs.

"When have you ever known me to do something I don't want to do?" he asks softly. "I'm here because I want to be. I chose you to be my wife and I would again, every single time."

He holds you tightly against his chest, pressing soft kisses to your hair, until your sobs recede into quiet whimpers.

"It’s going to be okay," he promises, stroking your hair gently, "we are going to be okay."

While the world around you continues to move, curled in Poe’s arm’s for you it seems to halt. Your whimpers stop, and the tears dry on your cheeks but he doesn’t move, or rush you out of the quiet silence. Instead he allows you the time you need, until the early dusk light bathes the room.

It's Poe who moves first, squeezing you gently.

"Come on. Let's get off the floor,” he murmurs “I'll make you some tea and run you a bath."

"You don't have to do that," your voice is barely a croak as you clumsily get to your feet, suddenly feeling the stiff ache in every muscle. Taking Poe's hand, you help pull him to his feet.

"I know. But I will."

Before you have a chance to move away, he gently cups your cheek, sweeping his thumb across your skin gently as he brings the other hand up to smooth your hair, his eyes scanning over your face, checking you over before he takes a breath, a soft smile pulling up the corners of his lips. "No more crying, okay? It makes your face all red and you're still pretty… but less so," he teases with a wink.

His teasing has the intended effect this time and you allow a soft laugh to break free, glad that he isn't treating you like glass even after everything.

"That's better," he smiles, pulling you into his arms to squeeze you tightly. You wrap your arms around him, burying your face in his neck while he hugs you tighter; a silent confirmation that he isn't going anywhere.

~

"What about a Rancor?" You ask, voice deadly serious with your question.

Poe gives you a momentary look of horror from his place on the floor, but it takes only a second or two before he realises that you’re teasing him.

True to his word, a bath had been run and he had insisted on undressing you before helping you in. Poe had refused to join you, so instead he rolled up his sleeves and settled himself by the side of the tub, his fingers trailing in the water as you allowed the warmth to ease the tension in your sore muscles.

"A Rancor?" he frowns, playing along, "I mean… I was thinking something on the smaller side, sweetheart. Besides-"

"You said anything I like," you cut him off with a pointed look, trying to suppress the smile that fights to break free.

He pauses momentarily before letting out a soft chuckle, "I suppose I did… but I wasn't expecting…" he trails off as you continue to stare expectantly at him, knowing you aren't serious but still expecting the correct answer. "Alright then, a Rancor it is. But I'm picking the name," he sighs in defeat.

"No. Absolutely not."

"What do you mean no?" He laughs, his fingers finding the ticklish spot under your ribs to make you squeal and slide down further in the tub in an attempt to stop him. The water laps dangerously high at the sides with your movement.

"I wouldn't trust you to name a fish," you laugh.

"I'm very offended by your lack of trust in my pet name picking abilities," he huffs with a glare, one that he can barely hold for a second before his face breaks out into an affectionate smile. He looks you over for a minute before he tilts his head, the worry all too clearly back in his eyes. "Are you okay?"

You take a deep breath and let it out slowly, looking up at the ceiling for a moment while debating your answer.

"Not really? But I think I will be, eventually," bringing your eyes back to him, you give him a small, reassuring smile.

Leaning over the tub, he gives you a soft, lingering kiss before rubbing his nose against yours in a way that never fails to bring a smile to your lips.

"Well, no matter how long ‘eventually’ takes, I'll be here, okay? Whatever you need. We will get through this as a team."

Taking your hand with your wedding bands, he laces your fingers together, holding you tightly, a symbol of your union. An unbreakable bond. And for the first time since the news, you believe him. You believe that even as you are, you would be enough. That whatever flight path you chose next, you would fly it together.

And while the weight of it all still sits heavy in your chest, it no longer feels too much to bear. It no longer feels like it's crushing the air from your lungs. Perhaps you were starting to realise you didn’t have to hold that weight alone and you never would.

"I'm sorry. I just had a bit of a wobble," you whisper meekly, suddenly feeling a wave of embarrassment at your reaction and a deep guilt at your sudden disappearance in front of your friends.

"There's nothing to apologise for. It's going to happen sometimes and that's okay. We'll explain to people if you want, but there's no rush. Whenever you're ready. But I swear, I'll always be here to steady every wobble. And I will never, ever, stop loving you. Nothing could make me love you less, only more," he raises your clasped hands to kiss your knuckles gently, making your heart skip in an all too familiar way.

With your free hand, you gently cup his cheek and watch as he turns his head to kiss your palm.

"Thank you, for being you,” you whisper softly.

The earlier upset and pain diminishes. Although it doesn't fade entirely, it's enough to allow you a moment to see things a little more calmly.

With the calm comes something else: a need to be close, to be touched and loved, to feel wanted again. Broken or not.

"Since you mentioned it, I do need something…"

Poe is on his feet before the words have finished leaving your mouth.

"Name it. What can I get you? I am at your service," grinning, he gives you a sweeping bow which only makes you roll your eyes. Maker, how could you have thought for a second that you could give him up?

"I need you to get in the bath with me."

It takes a second for him to register your words, and when he does, he raises his eyebrows with a mischievous grin.

"Oh, you need that, do you? Alright then. Make room," he grins, watching you shuffle back.

You let out a surprised squeak as he steps into the tub still fully clothed and sits down with a splash that sends water sloshing over the sides.

"Poe, what are you doing?"

"You said get in, so I did," he grins, flicking water at you. "Didn't say get undressed and get in." He splashes you with a much bigger wave of water, his eyes full of the playful glint that made you fall for him in the first place. He's doing this to make you laugh and the knowledge makes your heart fill with love.

You try to bite back your smile as you flick water back at him, making your voice as serious as possible.

"Stop it."

"But it seems to me that you've chosen war?" He grins, dipping both hands into the water and cupping them.

"Poe, no! I'm not cleaning up -" your words are cut off into a splutter with the next flick of water that hits you in the face. Wiping water from your eyes you glare at him, "you are so done for now!"

By the time you pause, there isn't much water left in the tub but you're laughing so much that you can't seem to care.

"I've always loved the sound of your laugh," he smiles, pausing in his assault on you. "It's good to hear it again."

As usual, Poe knows exactly what cards to play and when. And of course, just like every other time, it makes you melt.

Smiling, you hold out your hands to take his, lacing your fingers together.

"Nobody makes me laugh harder than you," you repeat his earlier words, watching his eyes light up with pride.

He uses your clasped hands to pull you closer to him before he captures your lips, mumbling about a temporary truce, which only makes you laugh again.

You might not be okay today. Or tomorrow. But one day you hoped you would be. And while your home may not be filled with children's laughter, it will always be filled with love.

It makes you begin to realise, to believe, that love would be enough after all.

--- Beta@ @fisforfulcrum

Masterlist

Taglist : @fisforfulcrum ; @the-scandalorian ; @salome-c ; @mypedrom ; @prettylilhalforc ; @lostinwonderland314 ; @fett-ching ; @userpoe ; @mariesackler ; @pumpkin-stars ; @mbpokemonrulez ; @jitterbugs927 ; @lexloon ; @dailyreverie ; @one-hell-of-a-disappointment ; @reenadreams ;

[biggestsimponhere]

Star wars men you will always be famous, i’m in love with them.

[luffyssa]

[flightlessangelwings]

Being inclusive with your reader insert fic is a kindness. It tells people of color (poc) that you are considering someone who does not look like you in your fic. It shows love and dedication to our craft. It tells poc that they belong here too and they can see themselves in your story.

Poc aren’t look for activism in fic, we know fandom isn’t that serious, but we should be able to have that same level of escapism when we turn to fic and fandom. We belong here too. This space is for everyone, not just one group of people.

Just to give a few examples of how simple it can be: say “skin warmed” instead of blushed, say “cradled your head” instead of running fingers through hair, say “angles yourself to kiss” instead of standing on tiptoes, use italics to indicate Spanish to take out a throwaway line of “you didn’t understand Spanish” things like that. Small changes that do not impact the fic at all but make a world of difference in inclusivity!

And for anything you can’t/don’t want to change, simply add warning in the beginning. Things like hair descriptors, anything reader might wear, some backstory for reader (especially involving family or where the story is set), readers job, things like that. A lot of times just having that heads up before the fic makes a world of difference!

And one example of kindness we as writers always worked to change: until recently (just a couple years ago) it wasn’t common to label the gender of the reader. But those who aren’t female asked writers to label it so they know which to read and which to avoid, and now it’s common to label the gender/pronouns of the reader. So it is possible! It just takes effort! And I’m a writer myself so I know it can be done!

We can pretend to be a bartender or a bounty hunter or an actress or anything else. But we shouldn’t have to imagine we’re a white one.

[xenop0p]

Oh my beautiful poeee what’s going on 💗

Slow it Down

AN: Happy Wanksgiving, y'all (and Happy Thanksgiving to those that celebrate)! This is my contribution. I meant to write something else but the muse wants what it wants and she wanted Poe so, hope y'all enjoy. 😘

(Un-beta’d - i wrote this in like 2 hours and barely proofread it so lol, apologies for any mistakes)

You’ve never seen him like this before, so rushed, so…frantic. Normally, he takes his time, draws everything out, especially when he’s been away, but it’s different this time. He’s different.

Rated: M+ (this is smut so, i mean, you’ve been warned?) Words: 1,312 Pairing: Poe Dameron x F!Reader Warnings: established relationship, desperate!angsty!Poe, p in v, oral sex, a little roughness, choking (barely), creampie, a little cockwarming (please let me know if i missed anything). AO3

——————

You fall into the room, a tangle of limbs, tongues, and teeth, moans muffled by Poe’s tongue in your mouth. Poe pushes you against the durasteel door when it slides closed, pressing his body along the length of you, hands pulling at your uniform. You gasp when he tweaks your nipple through the rough fabric of your shirt, breaking the kiss. He doesn’t stop though, mouthing down your neck, nipping at your jaw, hot tongue dipping into the notch at the base of your throat. You’re completely at his mercy, simply clinging to him, fingers tangling in his soft, dark curls. 

He pulls back slightly, fingers fumbling with the buttons on your shirt. He quickly pushes the offending material from your shoulders, mouth latching onto your breast as his hands drop to the waistband of your pants. He has you laid out on the bed before you even realize he’s moving, fingers pulling down your underwear just as quickly. 

“Poe,” you pant, trying to get his attention as he tosses your panties over his shoulder, his eyes roving over your prone form.

Instead of answering, he licks his lips and dives into your center, drawing a surprised gasp from you as he laps messily at your folds. You hum when he circles your clit with the tip of his tongue, a shiver of pleasure racing through your body.

You’ve never seen him like this before, so rushed, so…frantic. Normally, he takes his time, draws everything out, especially when he’s been away, but it’s different this time. He’s different.

Poe sinks lower, spearing his tongue into your fluttering hole, his nose pressing deliciously against your clit. You moan as he pushes in as deep as he can manage, his tongue sliding along your sensitive walls before slipping back out to tease your entrance. His hands grip you like a vice, fingers digging into the flesh of your ass as he drinks from you like you’re an oasis in the middle of the desert.

You know something is wrong, but he just feels so good, and he clearly needs this, so you don’t question it, instead letting him have his way with you. It doesn’t take him long to send you over the edge, a scream lodging in your throat as he groans into you, greedily lapping at the release that spills from your pussy.

He pulls away quickly, wasting no time as you come down, your chest heaving, heart beating wildly beneath your breast.

He settles over you again, the slide of his bare skin against yours heavenly. Your brain is still fuzzy with pleasure as he positions himself at your entrance, but you're coherent enough to notice that he isn’t talking, isn’t making eye contact. Usually you can’t get him to shut up, whether it’s about how good you feel or how much he missed you, begging you to look at him as he fucks into you.

“Poe,” you say, reaching for him, hands skimming his strong shoulders, the muscles flexing beneath your touch.

He still won’t look at you, his brow pinched in what you thought was concentration but now realize is something else. He grunt as he begins to push into you, your mouth falling open in a gasp as the length of him drags over one of your sweet spots. He pauses when he’s fully seated, his jaw clenched and you realize…he’s shaking. 

What had he seen out there to make him act this way?

Concern breaks through the haze of lust as you slip your hands up his shoulders and neck, his movements stilling when you take his face in your hands. He pants, wild eyes glued to your neck as you patiently wait for him to gather his thoughts. When he does, you see his desire, yes, but also something unexpected: fear. Pain lances through your chest, eyes welling with tears as you stroke his cheeks with your thumbs. 

It takes him a moment to give in, his eyelids fluttering as he practically melts into your touch. You pull him close, wrapping him in your arms and he happily buries his face in your shoulder, eyes still closed as he inhales your comforting scent. His forearms are braced on either side of your head as you hold him, fingers carding soothingly through his hair.

“Slow down, baby,” you tell him softly, nuzzling your nose against his ear. “You’re safe here, you’re home.”

His hands fist into the sheets at your words, arms pushing in closer to you, as if he’s trying to hug you back. You hold him as long as he needs you to, whispering comforting words, his cock still nestled inside you. When he’s ready, he pulls back to meet your eyes, the look in them guilty, pleading.

“I’m sorry,” he rasps, swallowing thickly as your thumb brushes his cheek once more. “This mission, it…it was rough.”

“I figured as much,” you say softly, nodding in understanding. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

He shakes his head, sighing as his eyes rove your face. “Not yet.”

You smile, nodding again and pulling him into a gentle kiss. “Later then.”

His lips quirk slightly and he nods, leaning in to kiss you again. He still seems slightly desperate, but no longer frantic, kissing you deeply and slowly, his lips and tongue sliding languidly over yours. 

When he starts to move again, it’s unhurried, his hips grinding into yours, his hand reaching down to pull one of your legs around his waist, pushing him even deeper inside until the tip of him bumps your cervix. Your cunt squeezes him and he breaks the kiss with a groan, his eyes glassy as he watches you writhe beneath him.

“So beautiful,” he slurs, sliding his hand up to cup your cheek. 

You moan in response, skin heating a little, both from pleasure and from his words. He moves his thumb over your bottom lip, wordlessly asking you to part them. You do, sucking the digit inside, your tongue lapping at his fingertip. Poe’s movements stutter slightly, his throat bobbing as he watches you, damp curls falling across his forehead.

His pace increases a little and you know he’s close, his body shuddering over you. You reach for him as he pulls his thumb from your mouth, hand coming to rest against the base of your throat as he pushes into you again and again.

“I love you so much, sweetheart,” he pants, breath hitching as you clench around him. “You know that, right?”

You’re so close, so full—of him, of your love for him. You feel like you’re going to burst from it all.

“I know,” you breathe, smiling softly at him. “I love you too, flyboy.”

He leans in to press his forehead to yours, his labored breaths fanning against your lips as he thrusts, the pleasure rising higher and higher.

The hand on your neck clenches slightly and you whine, pussy fluttering around his length as you fall over the edge, pleasure surging through your veins. Poe groans, the sound of it broken, as he follows you a moment later, spilling his warmth deep inside. You’re still pulsing around him as he comes down and he can’t seem to stop the press of his hips, his softening cock pushing his spend even further into you.

He’s still inside when you come down, his gaze intent on your face as he cradles your head in his hands. When you lock eyes, he smiles, thumbs rubbing soothing circles at the base of your skull. You smile back, content to be in his embrace again, to have him be with you, be present. There’s still something there in his eyes, that fear, and you hope he’ll talk to you about it once he’s ready. Until then, you’ll settle for keeping him grounded and in the moment.

If you enjoyed this, please let me know! I appreciate every single reblog and/or comment. Thank you. 💖

🌟 Masterlist 🌟

i am no longer doing a taglist. please follow @charmingupdates for updates and turn on notifications.

[itscherrylipsforme]

Mom: When I was your age I liked men in their twenties

Aunt: When I was your age I liked men who were around twentyfive

Me rn: ...

Based on a thought I had after having this same conversation during a family dinner

I am open to write for any of them, if someone asks me to do it btw

[wistericals]

x reader fanfic writers please just know that i love you thanks and good night

[aphrcdites]

“not all men”

you’re right, my favorite fictional character would never.

[xenop0p]

Bro I thought he died I was ready to cry

Back Home

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader

Warnings: None. Angst, romance, humour.

Summary: You’re informed of what happened to Poe…and it couldn’t be straightforward.

You sat by the monitor and continuously flipped through the life scans of Jakku. It had been 8 hours since news reached the base of a First Order attack on the planet and all contact had been lost with Poe Dameron and his droid BB-8.

You had barely gotten a wink of sleep. The destruction of the village haunted your thoughts and the fear of losing Poe in the field was the reason you worked relentlessly to find the Resistance pilot and his droid.

Most of the officers had retired to their bed chambers for rest but there were still several others that remained working. Leaning forward, you set your head to rest on the palm of your hand while pouring over footage for the hundredth time.

“Lieutenant?” A voice called out.

Turning to the right, you saw General Organa looking back, grim-faced. An expression that you knew to be accompanied with bad news.

Standing up respectively, you saluted the Princess of Alderaan. “General. Is there a problem?”

Leia let out a soft sigh. “Follow me.”

Keep reading

[l0caltiredgirl]

me @ y/n when they do something i’d never do:

like babe this isn’t us ?? get it together

[rosesanddecay]

Oscar Isaac Characters Eating You Out

Minors DNI

Featured Characters: Miguel O’Hara, Moon Knight System, Basil Stitt, Anselm Vogelweide, Blue Jones, Poe Dameron, Nathan Bateman, Duke Leto Atreides, Prince John, Santiago “Pope” Garcia x afab!reader (Pronouns and descriptions aren’t used for the reader)

CW: SMUT (did you look at the title?), pet names, slight size difference, fingering, face riding, mention of periods, slapping, toys, anal, dub-con, sub and dom roles, squirting, overstim/crying, untranslated Spanish, and possibly some other things (All are just brief mentions)

These are just some short, dumb little rambles/headcannons of mine, so it’s not written the best. Not proofread or heavily edited.

(Lmk if you want more in the future)

Miguel O’Hara - Across the Spiderverse

Miguel is a tired man, always overworking himself with the Spider Society. All because he’s extremely thorough, never leaving something to be completed at a later date. Because of this, it’s not often he gets the chance to destress.

So, when it comes time to pleasure, he’s just as thorough. Miguel makes sure you feel just as much pleasure as he does.

Of course, because of his lack of free time, Miguel doesn’t care where or when it happens, he’s eating you out.

You’re in his office? Bend over.

You’re on your period? I guess he’s not beating the vampire allegations.

Pick a time or a place, he’s there, willing to thoroughly please you in whatever way he can.

Miguel is on his knees with your legs over his shoulders. His claws gently pricking at the soft of your thighs as he holds you still.

If you squirm too much, he is glaring at you from overtop your heat, pinning you in place with one of his massive hands.

His tongue runs laps in your cunt, teasing your clit and slurping you up. He’s eating you like a starved man, letting out small growls every now and again.

Miguel will refuse to touch himself until you’ve climaxed multiple times. He has the stamina to keep going for hours, and this is just a warm up for him. Besides, he’d rather see either of your pretty lips wrapped around his length over his hand.

When you’re a trembling, sopping mess underneath him, he’ll finally stop. His lower face is shiny as he licks his lips and hungrily smirks at you.

“Don’t think this is over, mi amor. This is just the beginning…”

Marc Spector / Steven Grant / Jake Lockley - Moon Knight

Marc wants you to feel as much pleasure as possible, because while he denies it, a part of him is a people pleaser. He always puts his partners above himself, including during intimate moments.

Marc is experienced and he will take the time to know what you like. Marc practically memorizes your body and what gets you riled up. But if he has the choice, he has you on your knees as he eats you out from behind.

Marc has you bent over as his tongue hits that perfect spot, causing you to tremble and moan in pleasure.

He loves seeing you grasp the sheets as you bury your face in your pillow, to him it’s a sign of validation, evidence that he’s making you feel good.

His hands grab at your thighs and ass as he goes to town. If he feels you try to pull away, he’ll swat your rear until you stay still.

When his mouth starts to ache, Marc will pull up and insert his fingers instead. He’ll move them in the way that has your toes curling and has muffled screams coming from your pillow.

Of course though, he finishes the job with his mouth back on you, drinking up every ounce you give him. He’ll lick his lips clean and kiss your cunt in praise.

“You did so good for me, darling…”

Steven is the most insecure of the boys. He never had the chance to date before, so he’s always worried about making you feel good. He especially worries when he hears how Marc talks about your guys' time together. Steven wants to make you feel just as good.

But Steven isn’t as affirmative as Marc or Jake.

Steven will keep you on your back, his hands feeling his favorite parts of your body. He loves to caress you.

Steven likes to be thorough but also to go slow. He wants you to feel every little moment he makes.

His tongue hits the spots you love, but it’s methodical, careful.

Steven pleasures you as though you could fall apart if he were to be too rough. But if you grind your hips or grab his hair, he’ll go a bit faster.

He lets you have control, his goal is to make you feel good, so why wouldn’t he listen to you?

Despite being focused on you, Steven won’t hesitate to make himself feel good too. Whether it’s with his hand or just humping at the mattress in front of him.

He definitely gets pussy drunk, babbling as dines on you.

“So pretty… so pretty…”

Jake, on the other hand, prefers to be a bit risky.

As much as he loves private moments with you (like the other boys), the thrill of getting caught makes it more exciting for him.

He’ll absolutely eat you out in his car or in an empty alleyway. All because you dressed up pretty for him or gave him that perfect smile of yours.

Jake likes to be quick but efficient with you, at least in public.

Jake sinks to his knees and pushes you against the brick wall. His hand stays on your stomach, making sure you don’t scramble from his grasp.

He’d start slow, intentionally making you panic about getting caught, but as he gets quicker, you become a moaning mess above him.

Jake will smirk as he makes quick work of you, making you finish quicker than you thought possible.

“Tan perfecta/o, mi vida… tan perfecta/o para mí…”

All of them love you so much, so sometimes after a hard day, they’ll each take turns making you feel good.

Steven most likely starts, being that he’s the most gentle. He’s a good warm up and he’s good for calming down without actually stopping. But with the other guys there too, he definitely is being a bit more aggressive to keep up.

Marc and Jake will take their turns, teasing and riling you up. Just between those two alone, your position is constantly changing, there’s no chance you’re getting sore from being stuck in one place.

Each of the boys will make sure you feel good, prioritizing you above all else. They even monitor each other through the many mirrors littered throughout the apartment. They just want their darling to feel good <3

Each will take their time, only stopping when you’re an overstimulated, crying mess.

Soft kisses and cuddling definitely ensue afterwards.

“Our beautiful darling…”

Basil Stitt - Lightningface

Basil, the pathetic, desperate, possessive loner. He will do anything for your attention. He will follow your every order. You don’t even have to touch him, he’ll cum just from eating you out. He loves you that much.

Basil is aggressive as he eats you out, desperate to make you finish. Because if you finish, you’ll stay, despite his scars.

He moans and whimpers more than you do as you pull him deeper into your cunt. His hands grapple at every curve of your body, desperate to make sure you’re real, that you want him.

Why would anyone want a monster like him? Even his own girlfriend cheated on him before his accident happened.

As he tastes you, he desperately chases your climax.

He needs you to feel good. He needs you.

When your legs tense around his head and you start praising him, he starts crying and finishes as well, his seed staining the floor below him.

His head falls against your inner thigh as his tears fall fast. He grabs at you harshly, his fear causing his chest to ache.

“Imsosorry… staywithmeplease…”

Anselm Vogelweide - Big Gold Brick

Anselm is a weirdo, a big horny weirdo, let’s get that out of the way.

Anselm will touch you and do whatever he wants whenever he wants. This kinky switch of a man will eat you out in any way possible, and it’s never simple.

Per his request, he lies tied up with you over him. His arms are completely restrained as he lets you control the situation.

Your glittering heat flutters as he blows on you, smirking at every little reaction you have. He loves your noises, especially when you’re loud.

Eventually you sit on his face, and groaning happily, he licks up into you.

Your hips rock back and forth on his face, his nose hitting your throbbing clit harshly. You’re breathing heavily as Anselm eats you up, his beard scratching the back of your legs as your hips move.

Despite being such an odd man, he absolutely knows what he’s doing, like— he’s extremely talented with his tongue alone. With every squirm and noise you make, he’s watching you like a hawk.

Your high builds and comes crashing down quickly. But when you start to move off, he harshly demands you get back.

“We aren’t done yet, doll. If you don’t get back on, I’ll kill myself.”

Blue Jones - Sucker Punch

Blue doesn’t eat you out for your pleasure, no- it’s to prove a point.

He owns you, just like he owns all the people working for his club. And because he owns you, he has to make sure you know how good only he can make you.

You were in the dressing room when he approached you, his eyes hungrily scanning your body.

Whether out of fear or attraction, you do everything he asks. So when he asks you to strip bare, you do exactly that.

With his head between your thighs, it’s hard to remember that this man could kill you without a second thought. He’s just too talented with his tongue.

Running a club has its perks, including having lots of practice in making others feel good. With all this practice, this man will do anything to make you squirt. He sees it as a sign of victory, that his toy likes him the best.

Your back is arching as Blue hits your sweet spot. Your hips lightly hump his face and nose, chasing your high. His hands grip your legs, letting you ride his face more and more.

You squirt all over his face, causing him to hum in approval.

When you finish, he licks a stripe through your arousal. Blue’s eyes meet yours.

“Bunny, do you act like such a desperate whore with all the clients?”

Poe Dameron - Star Wars

Lover of the sky, Poe is known for being quite flirty. With the constant travel, Poe has had his share of hookups and romantic partners.

Which is why, of course, Poe would do anything to make you feel as much pleasure as possible.

He’s cocky, sure, but when he brags about how loud he makes you scream, you know it’s the truth.

After a long day of travel, Poe is clinging to your cunt.

As his tongue runs laps through your folds, you tightly grip at his curls.

He’s already made you finish at least twice, and he’s desperate for another.

Your cunt is trembling from overstimulation, broken moans escaping your lips as you lazily try to pull him away.

With every faint tug of his hair, he pulls your body closer towards his mouth, not letting you escape.

His tongue circles your clit like a dehydrated man, wanting you to release and give every drop of yourself to him again and again.

When Poe gets you to release over his tongue once more, he doesn’t back off, speaking as he licks every drop.

“Just one more… Can you handle one more for me, baby?”

Nathan Bateman - Ex Machina

Nathan doesn’t eat you out normally, he much prefers using his fingers if he has to.

This man prefers making himself feel good above all else, he only tolerates making you feel good. Which is why he always makes you finish quickly or sometimes not at all, moving on to make sure he can get his pleasure from this exchange.

The only time he has eaten you out was when he walked in on you having a wet dream, mumbling his name as your legs spread under the blankets.

You wake up moaning loudly, Nathan tucked between your thighs, mouth to your aching core.

As he hits your sweet spot, you instinctively grab his head. His buzzed hair provides nothing to grip to as your hips sleepily grinds his face.

Everything feels extra sensitive and good, the lack of previous priority making you extra needy.

His beard provides a scratchy and satisfying feeling as his tongue laps up your soaked folds.

He doesn’t even acknowledge that you’ve awoken, now on a mission to make you finish on his mouth.

His hands grope at your waist and ass, gripping at all the soft flesh he can.

When you finish with trembling legs, he lifts his head, his beard glistening in your juices. His hand palms over his cock as he sits on his knees and stares down at you.

“Get up. It’s my turn.”

Duke Leto Atreides - Dune

Leto is a very busy man, but he does worship you when he gets the chance.

Constantly being needed by everyone, it feels nice to relax and give himself to the one person he wants to: you.

Sure, sometimes you’re under the table servicing him, but it’s not often he gets the chance to do the same for you.

He’s on his knees, worshiping your pussy like it is a divine god. Leto is praying to you with his tongue.

Leto is so focused on you, he can’t even acknowledge his own pleasure before he knows you’ve had some release.

He has to give his baby some extra care while he has the chance <3

His hands touch every inch that he can, worshiping all of you that he can.

Leto’s nose bumps your clit as he watches you like prey, he just loves your blissed out expression.

When you two make eye contact, he makes his assault that much more pleasurable. Whether that’s adding in his fingers or reaching deep into you with his tongue. Man loves his eye contact.

When you climax, he’s smiling and peppering kisses over your inner thighs.

“I still have time, shall we go for another?”

Prince John - Robin Hood (2010)

John is a man of pleasure, and he will devour you as long as he gets some in return. Just… never mention your ex or past relationships, he gets jealous.

He loves different positions and experimenting with you, as long as you’re both having fun or a good time, then he’s more than happy.

John, the whiny man, is begging into your cunt as you two eat each other up.

Your mouth is wrapped around his length as he laps up your warmth.

With each stroke of your tongue, he moves his in tandem. Every moan you gain from him, wonderfully rumbles your pussy.

His hands grasp and pull your ass cheeks, kneading the soft flesh.

John eats you like a starved man, because despite his regal status, you are by far the best meal he’s eaten.

At least that’s what he’d be saying if it weren’t the end to your guys night of pleasure, and John didn’t need an heir.

He probably isn’t the most thrilled to be eating his and your cum out of your pussy, but it's you, so he can’t complain.

Together, you finish and clean each other of every last drop, leaving both of you exhausted.

John pats his shoulder.

“Come, rest your head.”

Santiago “Pope” Garcia - Triple Frontier

Santiago loves to tease you. No matter the situation or place, he will edge you until you’re crying.

He likes seeing you as a whimpering mess, begging for some relief.

You were just on the cusp of finishing when Santiago pulled away, watching as you begged him to let you cum.

He’d chuckle and hold your hands hostage, not letting you get the chance to finish what he started.

As you start to come down from your high, he’d go back in, licking and eating your cunt out.

As you squirm, chasing your release, he’d cage your legs in place with his arms and hands. You’re not allowed to escape him or his constant teasing.

When he finally lets you finish, you’re a trembling mess, your hole clutching at his tongue as he eats every last drop.

“You’re so cute like this… maybe I should go again?”

—————————————————

Thanks for reading!

Lmk if you want me to add more of his characters or do a different set of characters (like Genshin men for ex.)

[xenop0p]

I LOVE THIS AU ITS SO CUTE 🥰

ashes to ashes

firefighter!poe dameron x reader

it's been so long since I first announced this fic, I know. loosely inspired by this post. thank you to @ofstarsandvibranium for allowing me to write something based on the concept <3

summary: crawling as you witnessed the fire claiming half of your apartment, the only thing you could think about was how cinematic the whole scene was; half of your life burning down in the night, the blurry sight of pairs of chunky boots walking around your apartment and through the flames, the painful feeling of emptiness in your lungs as you rolled onto your back and fought to catch your breath.

just as you began to feel yourself go, an arm wrapped behind your head, holding it up gently.

warnings: depiction of a fire, post-trauma, brief mentions of ptsd, mentions of homelessness, questioning your whole goddamn life, angst, reader has hair

tags: f!reader, obvious firefighter au, slowburn... lol... burn. get it? because of the fire. anyways. mutual pining, strangers to friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, fluff, domestic fluff, kissing

word count: 8.3k

moodboard!

heat me up masterlist

masterlist | taglist | ao3

updates blog: @eyelessupdates

Chicago had the infamous reputation of having harshingly cold winters; that was the promise you had had when you moved there, and as soon as summer faded into fall and instead began to feel like winter, you quickly understood what it was all about, where the myth came from.

And it was okay, in your small apartment at least. 

It was okay whenever the main heating system of the building was working, because it wasn’t always. Surely a small detail your landlord had forgotten to tell you about when you signed the lease. 

Piling up blankets was fine, but that wasn’t the easiest way to stay warm and certainly not your idea of a good winter period.

It was okay again once you made the bright decision of buying a space heater to put in your living room, then it was not okay the night you woke up to the harsh and very distinct smell of smoke because your carpet had caught on fire.

Not exactly the kind of warmth you were expecting.

And it must have been the chemicals, because while down on the floor, crawling as you witnessed the fire claiming half of your apartment, the only thing you could think about was how cinematic the whole scene was; half of your life burning down in the night, the blurry sight of pairs of chunky boots walking around your apartment and through the flames, the painful feeling of emptiness in your lungs as you rolled onto your back and fought to catch your breath.

And just as you began to feel yourself go, an arm wrapped behind your head, holding it up gently.

“Hey, hey. What's your name?” the man shouted loud enough to cover the default slight muffle of his mask and the menacing creaking of flames claiming your space.

You replied in a drowsy, dazed mumble, and it felt like you were on autopilot mode, like your body was acting on his own, your mind not following – you're barely sure of the veracity of what you're saying, and your answer is punctuated by a painful cough.

“Alright, I’m Poe.” he affirmed with a nod before observing and evaluating the behavior of the flames in your apartment. He looked back down at you, his grip on you tightening. “I’m gonna get you out of here okay? Stay with me.” he demanded, cradling the back of your head as you struggled to get air back in your lungs.

You nodded hastily, shutting your eyes tight as he lifted you up, hoping it would make it all better; the reflection of flames in his mask was too painful to see, and you knew seeing all the debris across your apartment would make you faint if you didn’t because of the smoke.

You could only hear the crackling of flames and the distant wail of sirens filling the air as the firefighter stumbled out of there, his grip on you firm yet gentle. You fought to cling to consciousness, trying to focus on the rhythm of his steps as he guided you to safety out of the building.

Your coughs were painful, and the contrast of the fresh cold night air as you got carried outside hit you all at once.

“It's okay, you're out of here, you did amazing” you heard the firefighter say, his voice barely audible to you as you felt yourself go.

The last thing you remember from there is him calling for the medics as a black veil covers your eyes.

—

It takes no time for you to readjust your position in your hospital bed when one of the firefighters pushes the door to your room open.

“Can I?” he asks with a small smile, to which you approve. “How are you feeling?” the man asks as he steps in, carefully closing the door behind him.

“Could be better” you scoff, a coughing fit quickly interrupting you. You try to take a deep breath once you’re done, as the doctor advised you.

“Are you the one that got me out of my apartment?” you manage to ask quietly once you catch your breath, your voice rough.

“Yes” he declares as he approaches, and you squint and read what's written behind his turnout coat as he pulls a chair to sit beside your bed. “You got lucky the fire started in your living room” he continues as he sits down, his lips curling into a small, empathetic smile. He has a handsome face, you can tell now that you can truly and clearly look at the man that saved you. There’s a faint, small scar over his cheek, probably one he got on the field, you guess. His brown eyes are gentle as he looks at you, his gaze somehow consoling, reassuring in some kind of way.

You have no idea what time it is or how long you’ve been there, but he still has some dirt over his face and his dark curls are unkempt, so you figure it might not be that long after it all happened.

“Thank you, Lieutenant Dameron” you croak out, your voice gravelly from coughing so much, and you weakly smile, reaching for the glass of water at your bedside.

“It’s only my duty” he chuckles, revealing an objectively charming smile as he helps and hands you your glass. “The fire started from an electrical problem in your space heater that caused it to short circuit.”

You take a sip of water, taking the information into account. 

“Guess my idea of staying warm backfired,” you joke, with a demoralized smile.

He leans back in his chair, a weak, compassionate smile over his face. "It happens more often than you'd think. People underestimate the risks sometimes. Good thing you made it out okay."

You nod, putting the glass back where it was. “Yeah… I can’t believe half my place is gone.”

“It's tough, but, you know…” he sighs, running a hand through his tousled hair. “Things can be replaced. Lives can't.” His expression is serious but compassionate, and you appreciate his attempt at reassurance, even though the reality of losing most of your belongings and your place is still slowly, painfully sinking in. The room falls into a momentary deafening silence before he breaks it. “We managed to contain the fire, but your apartment took a hit. You'll get through this eventually, it’ll take some time but it's fixable” he declares in a tone both firm and comforting as he runs a hand over the light stubble on his cheeks.

You pinch your lips, your mouth abnormally dry though you just drank water. You shake your head, the knot tightening in your throat.

“Fuck, I have nowhere to go. I have no family here, I won’t get my apartment back before a while, hell, I don’t even know if I want it back” you sigh, reality suddenly hitting you right in the face. A chill runs down your spine as you say it, as if wording it out loud makes it become true.

The Lieutenant shifts in his chair again to lean closer, his hand coming to rest over your wrist.

“We can help you. I will help you.” he nods, searching your gaze. “You can stay in a hotel room while you get it all figured out,” he suggests, trying to cheer you up a bit, showing you the possibilities. “I know a nice hotel downtown, not too expensive, and I’m childhood friends with the manager’s son so you can say you’re coming from me” he smiles, trying to draw one out from you, though he knows damn well that his charming smile can’t do miracles in this job. “We have rehabilitation programs, people usually make it out okay, I don’t see why you wouldn’t. It takes some time, and you’ve gone through a trauma so it’s not easy at first, but I promise you it gets easier.”

You nod, pinching your lips in a small smile as you feel him slightly tighten his grip over your wrist. 

“It’s gonna be okay. I’ve seen people take this as a sign to begin again, an opportunity to start over” he nods again as you look up at him, his brown eyes glistening with a sense of hope that you want to believe in.

“I’ll probably do that. Thank you” you acquiesce, still not fully convinced, though his kindness and sympathy makes it all seem easier somehow. As you look at him, you can't help but wonder about the man behind the firefighter's gear, who he is beyond the guy that rescued you. He smiles gently, getting up from his seat. “And thank you for… You know, saving my life” you smile gratefully. “Really. I don't know how to repay you,” you say genuinely.

“Sure.” he waves off your gratitude. “No need. Just take care of yourself. And maybe consider a safer way to stay warm next time.” he jokes with a grin, but you know it’s lighthearted.

You manage a weak laugh, appreciating the lightness he brings to the whole situation. The gravity of it all is still there in the room and inside you, but the Lieutenant's presence and empathy makes it a bit more bearable.

“Alright, I better get going. If you ever need anything please don’t hesitate to stop by the fire station.” As he stands to leave, he glances back with a warm smile. “And take some rest. You'll be back on your feet soon.”

You nod, a polite and grateful smile over your face.

“Hey,” you call as he reaches for the door handle. He turns back to you, a wondering expression over his face. “What did you say your name was again, Lieutenant Dameron?” 

He smiles warmly, “Poe.” 

—

Poe’s eyes look up from the newspaper as his last name is called by one of his colleagues, followed by a quick gasped “someone for you” with a thumb directed towards the apparatus bay before said colleague leaves.

He tosses the newspaper onto the table his feet are propped onto before he gets up and beelines to the area he’s expected at, looking around for whoever is supposedly here for him until his gaze lays on you, a surprised smile growing over his face.

“Hey!” he exclaims, his voice echoing across the wide room. “How are you doing?” he asks as he walks over to you.

“Better than last time you saw me,” you start, smiling. “Still trying to figure everything out, it’s a bit exhausting but it has to be done, so” you shrug.

“Mhm,” he nods. “Well, as I said, if you need anything I’ll be happy to help” he suggests, a bright smile over his handsome face framed by neat, wavy dark curls. Now that his face is clean, you truly realize how pretty he looks, and his closely shaven face makes him look a bit younger, a bit more innocent than he did the last time you saw him.

“Thank you Lieutenant” you smile back.

“Oh– Please, call me Poe” he scoffs, waving you off. “You know that’s my name” he teases.

“Alright, Poe.” you oblige. “So, yeah, actually I came here to thank you again, and I brought this” you declare sheepishly, handing him a box wrapped in gift paper.

“Oh” his expression immediately turns into an apologetic one when he looks at what you have in hands. “That’s very kind of you but I can’t accept it,” he shakes his head with a skeptic smile. “Against policy.”

You sigh. “Yeah, I figured” you scoff, looking back at the box in your hands. “I wanted to try just in case” you shrug, defeated.

“Yeah sorry, legally and ethically we can’t accept those kinds of gifts.” he explains. “Someone once tried to write us a generous check, and as appealing as it seemed, we had to turn it down” he chuckles, hands coming to rest over his hips. 

“Wow.” you laugh. “Some people are really grateful huh?”

“I guess” he smiles. “And he’d still insist after I told him I could get fired for accepting the check.” 

“Fired?” you ask. 

“Yeah, money’s nice but I could get fired if they find out” Poe nods.

“Fired?” you repeat, raising an eyebrow as a treacherous small smile unwillingly grows over your face.

“Yeah– Oh,” he huffs out a small laugh, before he eventually bursts out into chuckles. “Okay, alright, I get it” he nods, a playful, silly smile over his face. “Yeah, fired, unfortunate for a firefighter, right?” he scoffs, the corner of his eyes softly crinkling as he laughs.

“You get it” you laugh, unable to repress it when he wipes a hand over his face. “Sorry, this is lame.” 

“No, no, I actually never heard this one before–” 

The loud alarm sound cuts him off and resonates through the large room, announcing the units needed for an intervention. “Hah, I’m sorry, I gotta go” he says as you witness his squad rushing to the apparatus bay. “I’ll catch you later maybe, alright?”

“Sure, go do your thing” you pinch a smile, and he gives you back a bright one that makes your stomach flutter and a quick wave before jogging to the truck to quickly change into his intervention clothes.

—

The next time you come back to the station, you make sure it’s with a gift you’re certain he can accept. His face lights up when he sees you coming in, a warm smile plastered over his face.

You see the genuine appreciation in his eyes; even though you had made a good batch, your plate of cookies doesn’t survive for long, Poe’s squad and himself making a feast off of it.

“These are really good.” one of his colleagues babbles, mouth still full of his latest victim. A few poor crumbs are all that’s left off your plate. You smile.

“I’ll take your word for it” you chuckle, reaching to retrieve your empty plate.

“Come on guys, you didn’t even leave her one” Poe reproaches as he watches over you putting back the plastic film to cover the plate.

“You ate most of these Dameron,” another guy of the squad throws accusingly, making the Lieutenant scoff and hold his hands up in surrender. “Okay, alright, sorry” he nods. “They are really good.” he says pointing at you. “Were,” he corrects himself, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Sorry”

“That’s alright, those were for you” you immediately retort with a dismissive wave of your hand. Poe shoots you a sweet smile that you mirror before your gaze shifts to the clock on the wall to overlook the heat rising to your cheeks. “Well, you're good company but I gotta go” you announce as you stand from your seat, giving him a small smile.

“Thank you for the cookies” one of the firefighters calls out.

“Yeah. You really didn’t have to, thank you again” Poe nods as he follows you, a hand over your shoulder. You nod, a small, sheepish smile over your face at the physical contact. “Really, they’re the best cookies I’ve ever eaten, that's why I gobbled them like a glutton. Sorry again for not letting you have one. Is that your job? Are you like a pastry chef?” he asks with genuine curiosity, facing you as you both stop in your steps.

“Nah, just a hobby,” you affirm with a shake of your head and a wide smile that you can’t seem to repress. “But I’ll take the compliment. And you know, I had to go and borrow my friends’ kitchen to make those cookies, so it was basically teamwork”

“Well, gotta thank those friends too then” he grins. “No but really, they were so good. I’d pay for that” he admits as he tilts his head towards you, an admirative glint in his eyes. 

“Well good, because I need money to get my shit together” you joke. Poe smiles at your joke though it shifts into a genuine empathetic grin that you find adorable. You glance back at the clock when you start to feel the blush creep up your cheeks. “Yeah, time to make money, I’m gonna be late to work” you sigh softly.

“Good luck”

“I’m not the one with a high risk job” you scoff. 

He grins and leads you back outside. “You know, we sometimes host charity events here. You could bring some cookies, I guarantee you you could raise a hell lot of money from that. Think about it. We’d let you use the oven here” he grins.

You nod, appreciating the idea. Plus, it’s a reason and occasion to see him again. 

“I will.”

Poe leans against the wall of the firehouse front wall, glancing at you until you're out of sight. He sighs softly when he goes back inside and notices your jacket on the chair.

—

It’s been seven hours; you’re not coming back for it.

His fingers mindlessly run back and forth over the seams of your jacket, his gaze planted towards the pile of paperwork over his desk, waiting to be filled and sent to his superiors.

A couple knocks at his doorframe tear him out of his reverie, eyes darting to Rey standing at the threshold of his office. He greets her with a faint smile as his chair turns to face her, and she frowns as she crosses her arms and leans her side against the doorframe.

“Been watching you, what's wrong?” she asks throwing her chin towards him, and he reacts with a huff from his nose and a shrug. The downside of having a glass windowed office with broken blinds.

“What do you mean what’s wrong” he nonchalantly asks, his voice low, putting your jacket down over his desk.

“You’re leaving this pile of paperwork to rot” she points out, looking at the sheets messily laid out over his desk.

He scoffs, like what she’s saying is complete nonsense. “You know I hate paperwork.”

He does, she knows that, but he hates it so much that he usually does it as soon as he gets it to be over with it, and to avoid procrastinating the daunting task. “I know you do but you usually sit and do it. Here you sat and didn’t do anything” she declares as she watches him slightly turn back and forth in his desk chair. “That’s not like you. You usually can’t stop working one way or another, can’t rest for five minutes.”

“Yeah,” he sighs softly, adjusting his position in his chair.

“This is not me scolding you for taking a breath for once. This is me being worried” she makes clear. Poe doesn’t say anything in return, the blank expression over his face attesting of his lack of concentration. Rey bites down onto her bottom lip, pondering what she could do or say to help her friend out. It’s not like Poe to act so closed off, so quiet, like an empty shell. 

“Is that a new jacket?” she asks, hoping to lift the tension.

“No, not mine” he says as he reaches over to the desk to have the piece of clothing in hands again. “It’s from…” he pauses. “The cookies feast this morning, she left and forgot it”

“Oh”

“I gotta find a way to give it back to her.” he declares mechanically before muttering, “But I don’t know where to find her”

“Well,” Rey lightly clears her throat. “With some luck she will notice soon enough and she’ll come back for it” she shrugs.

“It’s been seven hours”

“People that just lost their place are busy trying to sort things out Poe” she shrugs. “It’s winter and she probably doesn’t have much clothing left. She’ll come back for it”

“It might happen when I’m off shift” Poe mumbles absent-mindedly. 

“So what? Just leave it somewhere everyone can find it, another team will give it to her” Poe closes his eyes and shakes his head, sighing in defeat, and Rey scoffs at the obviousness of it all. Poe is smarter than that, he’s a lieutenant for a reason; something’s not right.

“Oh Poe” Rey scoffs, a scoff of disbelief. She stares at him as he rubs a hand over his eyes, then runs it through his hair. “This is what it's all about isn’t it?” she asks rhetorically, as she already knows it is. “My god… You’re into her” she mutters like she doesn’t believe it.

“Yeah,” he chuckles, admitting it like he’s guilty of something shameful or immoral; but it almost is, in this job. This kind of thing is not supposed to happen, you’re not supposed to fall for a victim. It’s supposed to be a come and go without looking back.

“Look, I’m not opposed to you shooting your shot but–” she halts mid-sentence; she tries to find the right words to say the right thing. “Be careful. You know it’s a touchy subject in our jobs” she pinches her lips in a small, slightly skeptic smile. “Overstepping and everything.” she adds.

“I know” Poe blinks, looking down at your jacket. “I’ll sort this out.”

— 

To be fair, he feels stupid for not thinking about the hotel sooner when he was the one to suggest this place for you to stay at. 

The end of a shift has never felt so long; when he usually finds stuff to do to remain occupied when there’s no intervention, today his mind couldn’t stay off of you. A shift with no major intervention was awfully long already, but it seemed to be so much slower as he looked forward to seeing you.

His knuckles hit the surface of your assigned room in a couple knocks, and your confused expression turns to a bright smile when your door opens to him. His face and ears are slightly flushed from the cold, his dark curls coming out of his beanie, nicely framing his face. “I usually go home and catch up on the sleep I didn't get during my shift but it's cold out there and I figured you wouldn't have brought back a lot of clothes here with you, so I think you'd make good use of this” he smiles, presenting to you your own jacket. 

“Oh” you reply, trying to ignore the way your heart speeds up in your chest, staring at your jacket neatly folded in his hands as he hands it to you. “Thank you,” you sigh, feeling stupid that you managed to forget it at the firehouse.

He smiles. “Of course.” There’s a brief pause as you stand there, and you look back inside your room, at the mess of cardboard boxes filled with the life you’re actively trying to piece back together. You want to tell him to get inside, but you also need to work on that mess of belongings. You hesitate, wondering what to say when he speaks first. “You need help with that?” he asks, nodding towards the room.

“Uh, yeah,” you admit, huffing out a breath you didn't even realize you were holding. “I took your advice and decided to start over by sorting out and giving away or selling stuff I don’t need anymore but there’s a lot. I never realized how much stuff I had in my possession until now” you chuckle. “But I’ll manage. You don’t have to worry. You’ve had a long shift, you should catch up on your sleep” you grin.

He waves a hand dismissively, smirking. “Oh, I’m fine. We take turns sleeping during the shift. You know, as long as you wake up when the alarm goes off…”

The daunting task seems to get so much quicker and easier now that Poe is here to help. Surprisingly enough, it even gets pleasant as you talk and laugh about anything and everything, as he intently listens to you as you reveal stories about the trinkets you discover again. Poe has this natural ability to make you feel like whatever you’re talking about is the most interesting thing in the world.

After a good hour and a half of reorganizing and labeling boxes of what you’re keeping and what you’re getting rid of, you’re finally done and it’s time for him to go. You can’t ignore the slight feeling of disappointment as you watch him put his jacket back on.

“Hey uh,” he trails off, grabbing his beanie resting on the bed. “Technically I’m off work and you’re not a victim anymore so,” he rubs the back of his neck, his dark curls falling slightly into his eyes as he looks at you with a grin. “Would you like to go for a drink or something sometime that week?” Poe intently awaits your response; maybe he’s making a mistake, maybe he’s overstepping. 

You can’t repress the smile that grows over your face, the feeling of delight that fills you at the prospect of seeing him again. “Sure,” you nod. “I’d love to”

Your heart leaps inside your chest as your hands brush when you hand him your phone so he can put his number in, and he feels just the same when he pushes his apartment door to a text from you that reads, 

“thank you for today. I look forward to seeing you again :)”

He can’t help the foolish smile beaming over his face.

—

There’s not much left of your belongings after you give them out to charity and after hours spent throughout multiple days waiting for strangers to pick up the different things they bought from you. 

Some part of you assumes that giving up on your life in Chicago would be easier, that moving states and going back to your family would be more reasonable, until you get back onto your feet at least. 

But you hate it, hate the thought of giving it all up just because your stupid space heater short circuited. 

And maybe it's also because something is holding you back.

You’re at work when a text appears onto your phone screen, forcing you to drop everything you’re doing when you see it’s from Poe. Your heart races inside your chest when you open the conversation and read the message. “hey! still on board to hang out?”

Your fingers hover over the keyboard, not sure about which way you should say yes. You settle on “absolutely” and press send.

You try to go back to work while you wait for his response, but the task is compromised because even though you have your ringtone on, you can’t help but check your phone every twenty seconds.

Your phone rings again after what feels like an eternity though in reality, it’s only been two minutes.

“great. I was thinking about going to a bar downtown” 

Another message pops up.

“is it okay if I pick you up at the hotel at 7?”

You take a glance at the time displayed on your computer screen and sigh softly before you reply. “I’m doing extra hours so I get out at 7 :( and I need time to get ready and look somewhat presentable“

Poe’s text comes almost instantly. “hey, no pressure. I’m sure you look just fine”

A foolish smile grows onto your face, and you’re glad he’s not here to see it. 

Another message pops onto the screen.

“I can pick you up at 8 or later if you prefer. or I can pick you up straight out of work at 7 if it makes it easier for you”

You sit and think about it for a moment. It would make it easier for you. You could avoid an extra ride to the hotel.

“I think it does”

You text him the address to your workplace, and the next time you use the office bathroom, you take a moment to make sure you look okay.

The bar is dimly lit by fairy lights strewn all across the ceiling and walls. It casts a soft light over Poe’s face that allows you to admire the faint, dark stubble that is back onto his face again, and you can’t help but look at his teeth when he talks to you; you remember the way they look when he laughs, and the thought makes your stomach flutter and makes you feel like a creep at the same time.

“So, extra hours?” he asks, tearing you out of your reverie before he takes a sip of his half full glass of pina colada. You wince softly. 

“I'm quickly starting to run out of money. You know how insurances are” he raises his eyebrows and tilts his head to the side in agreement. “And I mean, I’m trying to save up because I don’t think I want to go back to my apartment” you explain, an uneasy feeling running through you the moment you start to picture your apartment again, the way it was the last time you had seen it. 

“Yeah, it’s understandable. It’s something we often see.” Poe nods.

“Most people prefer moving out instead of trying to rebuild their home. Too much trauma attached to the place” he affirms, pinching his lips in an empathetic smile.

“Yeah,” you trail off, nervously fiddling with your glass. “And I can’t stay in that hotel room forever. Some friends offered me to stay over at theirs so I’m gonna crash wherever I can until I get back on my feet” 

Poe nods, intently watching you as he swallows another sip of his cocktail before speaking. “Well, you can stay at my place too if you need somewhere to go.” he offers in earnest.

You shake your head, a soft chuckle escaping you. “Poe it’s– you don’t have to” 

“No, no, it’s alright” he insists. “Plus, my apartment is empty for twenty four hours when I’m on shift, so you can take advantage of that”

“This is very kind of you but–” you pause, not certain what you want to say. “We met what, three weeks ago, and you’re willing to let me stay at your place?”

He shrugs, an amused smile over his face. “You made me cookies. You’re trustworthy”

You laugh wholeheartedly, and the sight brings a wide smile to his face. 

“Okay, well, thank you” you huff out, and he grins before taking a sip of his drink. “I won’t bother you much, I’m working extra hours anyways.” 

“Oh and also, you’ll have to let me cook for you when you’re there” 

He raises his hands in fake surrender, a content expression over his face. “If you insist”

—

You’ve established some kind of routine based on a rotation; half a week at someone’s place, the other half at someone else’s. That way, weeks seem to go by quite fast.

Being at work is the only sense of normalcy you can find since those past few months; it’s pretty depressing when you think about it, but it might also be a good thing considering how much time you have to spend at the office doing extra hours just to gather enough money to try find that sense of normalcy back in your life.

You sigh softly as you knock at Poe’s door and set down your suitcase of necessities while you wait for him to answer; you’re endlessly thankful for your friends allowing you to leave your boxes of belongings in their home office instead of having to haul them around or pay for storage. 

“Hey you” Poe greets when he opens the door, a dishcloth in hand as he wipes them clean. You smile at the sight of him wearing an olive green apron, and you walk in when he makes way for you to. You look around the wide place that actually resembles a loft, the place dimly lit and filled with the smell of food cooking, and just that scent is enough for you to be striked with a stomach rumble. 

“Smells good” you affirm, forcing a small smile through your tiredness. “I was the one supposed to cook though, remember?”

“It’s your first time at my place, I have to be a good host” he huffs out, hands placed at his hips. “And I wanted to try this new recipe” he declares, motioning for you to follow him.

You follow his steps, acknowledging the space around you. “Actually it's perfect cause I'm exhausted” you admit in a small sigh.

“Good thing I planned on pampering you tonight then” he grins. 

He was in no way lying about that. 

Poe pulls your chair for you like a gentleman and makes you sit down, absolutely refusing you help him set the table or help him in any other way. 

He finally sits down in front of you after serving your plates and pouring you something to drink, wishing you bon appetit before you both start to eat. 

You listen attentively as he tells you about the interventions of his past few shifts, taking your sweet time to savor his dish from how good it is; you wouldn’t have suspected him to be that good of a cook.

Then suddenly, Poe trails off, his face dropping when he sees you're crying. “Hey,” he calls softly, getting up from his seat to join you. “What’s wrong?” he kneels down in front of you, his gaze raking over your face painted in tears.

“This is simultaneously the best and worst I've felt in months” you chuckle through quiet sobs, nervously fiddling with the hem of your shirt. “And I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing, I have no idea what I should do” you shake your head. Poe watches you intently while you try to avoid looking at him, afraid of what he could think. You’re just the poor girl he saved that lost everything, after all. “Sorry, I don’t know why it’s all coming out now. I’m not even drunk” you apologize, drying your tears with the back of your hand. “And I know some people you rescue have it so much harder than me, but even this, somehow… It feels insurmountable” 

“Hey,” he takes your hand in both of his, stopping you from tearing at the loose seams of your shirt. You feel stupid for breaking down like this in front of him, feel stupid for feeling so lost. “Just because people go through worse doesn’t mean your struggles are not legitimate” he affirms, one of his hands coming to rest over your arm. His other hand soothingly rubs the back of yours, and your tears-filled eyes finally meet his.

“Having to rebuild a life from scratch is a pretty tough thing, but I promise you it eventually gets better” he nods. “And you’re doing great so far. You’re motivated. It's a good thing. There isn't much you can do but wait until it gets better”

His eyes are gentle, his touch soft, and something inside you slowly starts to ease. 

You want to believe it, you want to believe it’s going to get easier, but right now, you can’t seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

“I know. But– I’ve been thinking about leaving Chicago.” you admit in a mutter. It hurts to say it, hurts to picture it, but deep down you know it’s probably the solution and the right decision.

“Oh– okay,” he mumbles softly, his voice dropping slightly. You look him in the eyes, before looking down at your lap again, a weak, saddened smile tugging at your lips.

“What you said about starting over… Maybe this is it. Maybe that’s what I need. There’s not much left here for me” you say, swallowing a sob. 

The urge to burst in tears gets violent again, and just like he can sense it, Poe squeezes your hand and gets you onto your feet so you can crash into him and break into sobs while he wraps his arms around you.

— 

You shift in your sleep and your mind screams at you to wake up; something feels off. The bed is too unfamiliar, too big, too comfortable. 

Because you’ve never been there before. 

It somehow simultaneously takes you ages and no time for you to realize you’re in Poe’s bed. 

You sit up, rubbing the sleep off your eyes, pushing the blanket away. You don’t remember coming to bed.

The last thing you remember is talking and watching a few The Office episodes with Poe on his couch, wrapped in one of his blankets. 

You hear the faint clinking of dishes in the kitchen, and you push yourself out of bed to go there. The wide space is filled with the smell of coffee and Poe is standing by the stove, flipping pancakes, dressed in the same clothes as last night, just like you are. He turns when he hears your footsteps, and gives you that easy smile that makes your stomach flutter.

“Morning,” he greets you, his voice warm. “Got your beauty sleep?”

You chuckle, rubbing your face. “Yeah, about that, you didn’t have to leave me your bedroom.”

Poe shrugs, turning to flip another pancake. “C’mon, it’s fine. It was part of my plan already anyway.”

You scoff and join him, leaning against the counter beside him. “I was already on the couch, I bet it would have been easier to leave me here than to drag me to your bed”

“You deserved a better night's sleep after the day you had.” he turns the stove off and looks at you. “I carried you out of a building in fire, remember? This was nothing” he smiles softly, handing you the plate of pancakes. You take it, and he gently rests a hand over your shoulder as he walks past you to pour you both a cup of coffee and hand one to you. "Besides, you’ve been through enough. A comfy bed is the least I can do sweetheart”

You take a sip of your coffee, savoring its warmth, but his words cut deeper than they probably should. There’s something so natural about the way he’s taken you into his space, about the way he looks out for you. 

It’s comforting, and maybe that’s what scares you the most. 

You haven’t brought last night’s conversation up again, and neither has he, but you can feel it there between the two of you. 

The possibility of leaving Chicago feels more real every time you think about it, and yet, being here with Poe makes the idea of leaving seem that much harder.

—

Poe is seated at his desk, locked in onto a pile of paperwork when a soft knock sounds from the doorframe. 

He glances up and it's Snap leaning casually against the door with a mischievous grin. 

"Your girlfriend’s here," Snap mouths teasingly as he points behind him; Poe rolls his eyes but can't help the small smile that tugs at his lips.

Snap steps aside, making room for you to enter the room. You flash him a quick, grateful smile before he leaves and before you step inside the office. Poe rises from his seat to greet you with a warm hug, one that feels natural after how close you've grown those past few weeks. The installed routine of crashing at his place every other week has deepened your relationship, turning it into something that feels comfortable, familiar.

“How’s your day going?” you ask, leaning against the wall.

“Busy, but nothing I can’t handle,” Poe replies, shrugging with a grin. “How about you? What brings you here? Missed me?” he grins playfully, and it widens when you huff out a laugh.

“I actually came to tell you some good news.” you take a deep breath, a mix of excitement and nervousness coursing through you. “I got an update about my apartment.”

Poe’s eyebrows lift in curiosity as he steps a little closer. “Oh? What’s going on?”

You can’t help but smile. “Since it’s uninhabitable for now, and because I’m not responsible for the fire, I’m getting my deposit back– and insurance is going to cover a pretty decent amount.”

Poe’s face breaks into a wide grin. “See? I told you so!” he says, his voice full of genuine happiness, as his hand rests lightly over your arm, giving it a gentle squeeze. There’s relief in his tone too as things are finally looking up for you.

You pause for a moment  before adding, “So…” you grin, tentatively. “I’ve decided to stay in Chicago.” 

Poe���s eyes light up at the news. “Really?” he asks, his voice a little breathless, as if he can’t believe what he’s hearing.

“Yeah,” you huff out a small laugh, nodding. “Actually, I came here because I was in the neighborhood looking at an apartment. It’s a bit cramped, but it’s all I can afford right now. And, hey, it’s better than nothing.” you shrug. “And… it’s like a seven-minute walk to the firehouse,” you add with a grin.

Poe smirks, “So, you’re gonna bring me cookies every day?”

“Obviously,” you laugh.

“I’m gonna have to exercise at least twice as much because of you.” he grins, placing a quick affectionate kiss on your cheek. Without thinking, you wrap your arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug.

“Thank you, Poe,” you murmur softly, your voice filled with gratitude. “For everything you’ve done for me.”

He hugs you back and holds you tight for a moment longer, the embrace a silent acknowledgment of everything you’ve been through together, how far you've come since you met– this could have happened in a better context but somehow, some part of you is glad it had to be him you stumbled onto.

“You don’t have to thank me,” he says, pulling back just enough to look at you. “You’re strong. You’ve been handling this like a champ.” he nods with a proud smile.

You smile back, still holding onto him. "I couldn't have done it without you."

Poe chuckles softly, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. His eyes rake over your face, from your eyes down to your mouth before he stops lingering and pulls away. "Come on," he says, stepping back and motioning for you to follow him. "I’m gonna introduce you to everyone."

The sound of chatter and laughter fills the room where the rest of the crew is gathered. Poe introduces you to his colleagues and friends, and as you chat with everyone, you feel a sense of belonging and acceptance like you’ve known them for ages.

—

The new year passes around and January takes place quicker than you realize; sleeping on your friends couches is starting to take a toll on your back, so you’re barely able to keep a facade and hide your excitement when you finally get the keys to your apartment and when Poe and your friend Jay haul your brand new sofa bed up the narrow stairwell of the building.

“Where is it going?” Jay asks, short of breath after struggling to angle the piece of furniture to fit your doorframe. 

“Right there,” you point, and your other friends quickly push the cardboard boxes aside to make way for Jay and Poe as they transport and set the sofa down.

It’s the first time in months that things feel real, that you feel like you’re moving forward again. The apartment is small – really small – but it's yours and that fact alone is enough to make you feel relieved.

Your cramped space is a mess of half-unpacked boxes, random piles of bubble wrap, and stacks of furniture pieces waiting to be assembled. 

Your friends each have their own tasks, helping in various ways; Olivia starts assembling your coffee table, grumbling under her breath about missing screws, while Poe puts together your dining table with a look of concentration.

You're tucked away in a corner, hunched over a cardboard box labeled kitchen, sorting through utensils and plates. Your friend Sam joins you, taking out mugs and setting them on the counter beside you. She looks over at Poe, who’s working on screwing a table leg into place with the help of Mike, then she leans in a little closer to you, her voice lowering in that teasing way she does when she’s trying to stir something up.

“Your firefighter boyfriend is cute,” she grins. Your grip instinctively tightens on the pile of plates you’re holding, afraid you’re going to drop it at any moment.

“He's not– we're friends” you scoff, trying to play off though you can’t deny your heart rate going up. 

Sam gives you a knowing look, raising her eyebrows dramatically. "Oh, come on. You can’t tell me there isn’t something there. I’ve seen the way you look at each other."

You feel your cheeks heat up instantly, a wave of nervousness rising in your chest even though you can’t really bring yourself to argue. Poe and you– there’s always been something there, you know that, it's painfully obvious. But putting it into words, admitting it out loud? 

"I don’t know," you finally say, your voice quieter now. "I mean, yeah, he’s amazing. I just… it’s complicated. I haven't really had the time to think about it that way” you shrug, taking a glance at him. 

"Look, I’m just saying, if you’re not interested, maybe I’ll ask him out." she shrugs nonchalantly though her grin attests of her playful tone.

"Very funny, Sam."

She chuckles as she pats your arm, obviously enjoying your flustered reaction. "Just think about it. You two have that vibe, you know?” she insists, putting away the cardboard box she’s unloading now that it’s empty. “Whenever you're ready to admit it, just know I'm rooting for you."

You roll your eyes, though the smile on your face betrays you. 

You hadn’t allowed yourself to think too deeply about it– about him. It had been much easier to push that aside and focus on practical things, like getting through each day, finding a place to live, and piecing your life back together.

—

Your apartment empties after getting filled and reaching a state that starts to make it feel like a home; your friends progressively leave until Jay and Sam are the last to, each giving you a hug at the door and congratulating you on the new place.

"You owe us dinner for all this labor," Sam jokes as she steps out, winking at you as she heads down the stairs. You roll your eyes with a smile, watching her go before closing the door behind them.

A small sigh leaves you when you turn back and look around the place that is significantly quieter now. Poe is still sitting on the floor, carefully tightening one last screw to your dining table to make sure it’s secured. “Okay,” he groans softly as he stands up, wiping his hands over his jeans. “Should be good”

“Thank you” you say softly, standing against the counter.

He gives you a modest shrug as he puts the screwdriver down on the table. “It’s nothing.” he smiles, stepping closer until he’s standing beside you, his shoulder brushing yours. 

You both proudly admire the place you have spent the last few hours furnishing – it’s small, but it’s just enough for you alone there, and at least now you won’t have to rely on a space heater to survive Chicago’s cold.

You feel Poe look at you, truly look at you, feel the warmth of his gaze lingering over you. You feel it so clearly that it makes you blatantly aware of how close you are, how intimate it feels to be here, in your apartment, alone with him.

You glance over at him and he smiles, his expression softening as his hand reaches out, brushing a stray strand of your hair away from your face; the touch is so tender that it sends a shiver through your spine. “I’m glad you decided to stay.” 

His confession makes your heart flutter, and a tired smile tugs at your lips. “I am too.” you admit, fully turning to him. “And thank you again. Not just for this. For everything”

He shrugs, his face twisting in a grimace. “You’d have managed just fine, even without me”

You tilt your head to the side in disagreement. “I would have been roasted chicken without you, if you remember. So thank you. I mean it” 

He breaks into a laugh, rich and warm, shaking his head. His laughter is so contagious you can’t help the wide smile that grows onto your face. “Okay, maybe I saved you once. But, anytime,” he nods, his voice softer now, his thumb brushing softly against your cheek. "You know that, right?" 

You find yourself nodding, scarily aware of how fast your heart is pumping inside your ribcage. You swallow as his gentle eyes rake over your face, your own gaze flickering between his lips and his eyes. 

“I know,” you whisper, your breath cutting short like you’re out of air. Somehow, all nervousness escapes you when his fingers drift to gently grasp your chin, ever so slightly angling it towards him.

He hesitates for a second, like he’s giving you the option to pull away if you wanted to; you don’t, there’s nothing you’ve been wanting more since you met him.

You lean in, meeting him halfway as his lips press softly against yours, tentatively. Your hands instinctively find their way to rest over his chest, and you sigh into the kiss when you feel the fast beating of his heart under your palm, the comforting warmth of him beneath your fingers. 

It’s not rushed or hurried – it’s like this action is a quiet, mutual acknowledgment of everything that has been left unsaid between the both of you for the past few weeks– hell, months.

The drunken smile over his lips as he pulls away has you going for another kiss; he pulls you even closer, his hands finding your hips, gently resting there. 

His forehead rests against yours when your lips grow apart, your arms wrapping around his neck when he nuzzles your cheek. “I should get going,” he whispers reluctantly, his hands still on your hips.

There’s a moment of silence– You swear you could almost hear the snow falling outside. “Really?” you finally ask, your voice teasing.

“Nah” he murmurs, and you both laugh softly as he pulls you closer, his arms fully wrapping around you.

—

please note that I'm planning on extending this universe just because I love it so much, I love them so much and I had so much fun writing this, so there will be more stuff linked to this one shot and you can request drabbles, headcanons or whatever you'd like about this AU!

people that wanted to be tagged in this (it was so long ago you probably forgot about this, sorry): @steven-grants-world @faretheeoscar @minigirl87 @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @spectorslut

@lunar-ghoulie @ineffablewifes @whatthefishh @dameronshandholder @thatwonderouswoman

poe dameron taglist:

@lockleysgrl @alexxavicry @mystinky-butt @anightshift @campingwiththecharmings

@mintgreen24 @spider-starry @jakecockley @cocodiem  @friedwings

@luxisluxurious @stvnnie @dowbastan @il0vebeingdelulu @hammerhead96

@unear7hly @pigeonmama

[luffyssa]

i got bored so here's a meme