#I can fuck up and it DOESNT MATTER FUCK YEAH

[featherlouise]

Falling in love with sketchbooks again :D

[astranauticus]

stultifera navis rerun AKA thinking about Iberia hours again because a lot of the Iberians have such fascinating relationships with the concept of home but specifically Thorns and Lumen are eating at my brain. like where do you call home when the place that is your home Just Fucking Hates You? Elysium's rewinding breeze specifically makes a point to hammers home how differently Iberia treats its Liberi and its Aegir

(which is especially interesting since this comes right after a conversation where Purestream commented on how despite Leizi being a high ranking government official, there are still some experiences that are universal for all Yanese people - because the experience of what Iberia itself is like isnt universal for all Iberians)

But all that being said, Thorns also straight up states that Aegir is not his home, and yeah, how could it be? How could a place you've never been to, never truly known, ever be your home? How could it ever feel like a home?

so where do you go when the place that you are from hates your people and the place your people are from is completely unfamiliar and alien to you? Thorns' answer at the end of the conversation with Aya is: my home is where i chose it to be. my home is where there are people I care about and people who care about me

in the complete opposite direction, Lumen's oprec asks: why do you still stay in a place that wants you gone? because the people of Gran Faro like Jordi well enough but when push comes to shove, they will want the only Aegir in town gone

and yet, when Rald the messenger offers him a chance to leave Jordi turns him down and when he's forced to escape Gran Faro after the people there literally try to send him to his death (or worse) at the hands of the Inquisitors he keeps trying to go back because like everyone in stultifera navis, Jordi is clinging to his own dreams of a golden age

but the shape of that dream is unique to every character and for Jordi, his dreams are deeply, inseparably bound to the Eye of Iberia, the legacy his parents left behind

and it's this dream of becoming someone great, of bringing about that golden age that his parents devoted their lives to help create that ties Jordi to this nothing town because despite everything, despite the mistrust of the townsfolk and the hostility of the Inquisition and the danger from the ocean, he simply cannot leave it behind

(or, because i personally dislike the official translation,)

"I just see this place as my home"

so yeah. not sure what overall point i was trying to make here i'm just. deeply in love with these stories about chosing what is and isn't your home, of saying you will not call a place your home because it has given you no reason to or saying you consider a place your home even though it has given you every reason not to. deeply unwell about them <3

[acaciapines]

rereading random bits of descendants of olympus (as one does) and. vera <3 still soooo obsessed with how she takes lupa's divinity. like MAN.......there is something to how shes had to scrape and claw her way into every single good thing shes ever had. that she's never just been able to KEEP these things, that she is always always always fighting for them. and so of course she takes divinity. she wants to LIVE. and in this world where the fates themselves are trying to control her, its like--yeah. maybe you do need a gods power to finally get like, at least a year of the life you want. the life you werent supposed to have. forever thinking about vera's one line in her chapter thats like 'of course the fates are losing power. because they'd never let someone like leo into my life.' YELLS. FOREVER.

also have we talked enough about minnie I THINK WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT MINNIE--

[mellotronmkll]

Does anyone else get the thing of like you're already so obsessed with something that you're like it would probably be good if I was less obsessed with this / I need to shut up about this but at the same time you constantly find yourself thinking I have Got to get more obsessed with this. I have Got to get more obsessed

[pseudophan]

i just lost two followers and it's making me laugh because judging by my most recent posts i assume they were diehard royalists? or at least people holding the british royal family in an unusually high regard? cry about it i guess idk, i do find it funny that you give a fuck though

on this note though of my followers holding different beliefs than me - if you're a terf? please kill yourself! i don't usually give a fuck because i just don't have it in me to start a war with everyone i disagree with but like. truly. if you hold any kind of prejudice against trans people whatsoever. fuck off from my blog lol i don't want you here

[suckinitup]

every time we get an outsider’s pov of taylor they mention that shes scary or strange. label her from the outset as an outsider. she doesnt look where shes going and she holds too still. taylor herself has considered herself p awkward and found it hard to hold conversations. and she gets along with rachel. they dont automatically speak the same language but theyve learned how to translate anyway- each have their own ways if telling the other that they care. taylor and helping rachel with her dogs and rachel trustinf taylor to the point of fucking. taking suggestions of how to do shit with her dogs (theyve gotta learn to be nice w other people if she ever wants them adopted out….). I remember that one segment where taylor’s therapist had taken to hugging her because she mentioned it was important and hugging isnt the same but. god. taylor always covered in bugs but rachel so frequently pressing an arm against her in some way. your honour they make me ill. they should be at the dog park

[lycan-mutt]

bought this blueberry soda and on the label it just says BLUE BERRY SODA and all i can think of is. well. you should know. its so evocative of it. you know.

[subsequentibis]

it kills me stone dead when i think about how the main three in preacher are all like. stuck as kids in a way. tulip is always that girl being taken away from the last family she thought she'd ever have, jesse is always that boy watching his father die in front of him and knowing he prayed for it to happen, cassidy is literally Forever Nineteen and forever reliving that moment of letting someone who trusted him down in the most painful, fatal way. as much as they grow and learn and change, in moments of crisis and stress they revert back to being those scared children who have no control over anything. fucking kills me man.

[jinstronaut]

this is also why i stopped using my tracked tag for a while tbh

[helliixns]

Honestly what I now desperately need is Stolas talking to Asmodeus and/or Fizzie and as a result making Stolas take a good hard look at how he himself has treated Blitzø and every other imp he’s ever dealt with

[north-wilkesboro-moonshine-cave]

actually no i am still mad about this. if you want to move an organization to the left you have to show up and put in the work to DO THAT. you have to get people to understand why those policies are worth moving for and how they will improve things.

[swallowtail-ageha]

*video by a self proclaimed historian archeology with mary on a cross dramatic beat in the background fake crying hand on mouth in instagram reels* here is a funeral epigraphy of this young roman lady who got murdered by her husband! People especially men were such beasts right then and haven't changed much! *shows epigraphy where parents of murdered girl both father and mother denounce their daughter's murder as something abominable and either way Very Much Not Uncaring of the girls fate*

[crypt1dcorv1dae]

Metalheads who don't like/respect Babymetal bc their "look" isn't, what? Traditionally metal? are so cringe. Like bro it's an alternative music scene we're supposed to say FUCK tradition????? What's wrong w y'all... Embarrassing

And also they are missing out bc Babymetal fucking rules

[stinkrascal]

listen i love animals too but sometimes dog people are so fucking gross, i just saw this tiktok vid where this lady is cooking dinner and halfway through the video she took a piece of raw beef from the meal, let her dog lick it off her hands, and then kept cooking without washing her hands even though she had dog slobber all over her hands like GIRL WHAT?!?!?????? i love my pet too but holy shit i also love being you know hygienic??? barf vomit gag hurl etc

[gibbearish]

btw similar to the whole "if you try adderall at a party and it calms you down, get an adhd test" thing, if at some point in your life you try microdosing shrooms with a friend and end up feeling like a functional person for the first time in your life, get tested for depression. like yeah hallucinogens come with elation so youre probably gonna have some "this is the best ive ever felt in my life" vibes regardless, but like. if that in and of itself feels like finally breathing in for the first time in years, thats for sure a sign that something is up with your ability to process serotonin most of the time. feeling better than ever before should be a nice bonus, not a crushing weight off your chest

[altoskh]

Imso tired man. I'm so tired. Why do I work this hard I am so FUCKING over this shit