#I came here to say this bc I know some of his annoying stans would riot if I said that on twitter

[mischiefprincess]

I have so many thoughts about Mobius, I absolutely HATE the way he treats Loki in various moments of s1, the way he tries to manipulate him and use him for the tva's mission, and he has the audacity to feel betrayed by Loki when he runs after sylvie and leaves him behind in s1e2???

Sir you KIDNAPPED LOKI AND ERASED HIS ENTIRE REALITY, MENTALLY TORTURED HIM WITH FOOTAGE FROM HIS TRAGIC FUTURE, COERCED HIM INTO WORKING FOR YOU UNDER THE THREAT OF BEING ERASED FROM REALITY IF HE DIDN'T COMPLY AND YOU REALLY THINK YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE MAD AT HIM FOR TRYING TO ESCAPE???

What he does after is even worse, I could NEVER accept him putting Loki into a torture loop to be kicked in the balls and to hear Sif telling him that he deserves to be alone and he always will be, the worse part imo is that a lot of lokius fans seem to think this is cute and a show of Mobius's feelings towards Loki, what the hell???

First off he doesn't have the right to be mad at Loki, second, torturing someone like that is absolutely fucking VILE and I don't care that people think it's cute or funny

BUT

I blame those disgusting actions more on the directing of s1 who was very keen in humiliating Loki at any given moment than in the character of Mobius itself, I ADORE Mobius in s2 bc he is sweet, caring and understanding of Loki, he truly is a good friend and I love their dynamic in it, I don't know what Kate Herron had against Loki but she truly tried her best to diminish and humiliate him whenever she could, every character is annoyed by Loki in s1 and he's treated like a fucking idiot, thankfully that was changed in s2 and he was finally treated with respect and dignity

Btw I should say that I appreciate lokius very much and I think they're cute together but pls stop with the crap, Mobius's "jealousy" isn't cute or funny, he literally abuses Loki just bc he can and Loki never gets a proper apology for that, Mobius apologizes to sylvie but never to Loki (KH when I find you...), again I blame this on the directing and writing of s1 and I don't think s2 Mobius would've done all that to Loki bc he's a different character in it

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Hi, Peach! I'm relatively new to the fandom and I tried to avoid shipping part of it bc I'm Jungkook biased and it's annoying how he's shipped with virtually every single person on this planet but I got swept by how whipped he seems with Jimin and now I'm inevitably a Jikooker stan too.

I'm currently watching BV2 and there was this clip of Jimin playing footsies with Kook that I came across a long time ago and I thought it was taken out of context, but now that I'm watching original content, Kook's reaction kinda got me wondering if it's not actually edited to appear something other than what it is (but to be fair, this is the reason I'm a Jikook and not a Taekook stan, most of Jikook content isn't edited, they're just unhinged like that). There also seems to be a similar situation in BV3 between Jikook, and I'm curious to what other people think about it, so I came here bc I like sensible Jikook/ot7 blogs.

Have you maybe seen theories ab these scenes and what do you think of them?

***

I would hardly call this a "sensible jikook/ot7 blog" btw... just setting expectations lol.

You know one of my favourite things about Bon Voyage 3 is that you can very clearly see how much closer jikook have become in a year, because it's such a good contrast compared to how they were in Bon Voyage 2. Jikook are even more all over each other in BV3, we see them stay behind on the boat to have the moon scene, we get 'together bam', and honestly too many sweet moments to count. Jikook in 2018 were like nothing I'd seen nor have seen since. Everything that happened after BTS decided in 2018 to fuck it all and do BTS, the year that perhaps coincidentally, jikook became undeniably closer on a deeper and more obvious level, everything that's happened since then feels like a given.

Including jikook signing up to do their military service via the buddy program, to return by Festa 2025.

Anyway, I digress.

I'm not really sure what the theories are, about the scenes you're referring to. Here, I'd like to refer you to @stormblessed95 - she's great at knowing stuff about jikook and she keeps better tabs on them than I do. Because personally, I don't think there's much to theorize about beyond the fact that jikook give each other footsies and sometimes do it on camera. It's kinda nsfw. In fact it most likely is nsfw. But jikook are always jikooking, and so here we are.

In fact, hold up, correct me if I'm wrong but haven't jikook given each other footsies in every single BV? Because we get some foot action in BV 4 as well (and in my opinion that's the funniest and most embarrassing one for JK I'm sorry to say. Like I full on howled when I first noticed it. The poor lad was helpless.

Jimin is vicious y'all...)

Anyway, I'm sorry anon but there's no "sensible or ot7" way to say this: jikook kinda play footsies sometimes and sometimes the cameras catch their antics.

Make of that what you will.

[maybeimamuppet]

hi so i was reading your reblog tags about mummies and that you have a sim of cady which i think implies that you have like. a sims world? and i would like to know if there were any other misadventures or shenanigans going on in that possible world that you think are silly and would be willing to share.

hello i sure do

i can’t remember everything that’s happened bc i’ve been playing with them for like three years atp so i forget a lot but here’s what i do remember lol. i’ve also posted some things about them before if you’re in the mood to REALLY go digging through my blog lmao

ANYWAY here’s some mg sims nonsense

-cady is constantly getting injured. cursed, bitten by cobras, hit by lightning. she is the most accident prone baby ive ever had in every save file

-sims 3 janis would constantly roast garlic over a fire. as in entire heads of garlic. and eat that just off the skewer. and then get mad at me bc her breath smelled

-in my most recent play through cady rejected janis’ marriage proposal bc i forgot they hadn’t even like. kissed yet

-karen and aaron are CONSTANTLY pranking toilets and it’s fucking annoying

-i had to abandon one save file because, in the middle of winter, damian came to visit cadnis and went swimming in their backyard outside. i had the twins and was having cadnis put them to bed and damian FROZE TO DEATH. everyone is devastated. in the midst of grief and trying to figure out how to make ambrosia to bring him back, gretchen came over and did literally the exact same thing. so i had two urns and a shit load of depressed sims in my house and i just gave up.

-in my most recent play their christmas tree immediately exploded the first time i tried to use it

-i forgot to set their sexualities once and janis cheated on cady. with damian. so that was fun trying to sort out

-their cat causes so much hassle but i love her. stan elvira

-people will constantly come over to cadnis’ house and just watch tv or something. and not say a single word to them at all. which honestly is fitting i think

-janis got cursed by the same gnome about six times in an hour and almost died bc she got hit by lightning so many times

-the other five are constantly trying to fuck each other bc the sims doesn’t know how to handle polyamory. and they’re also always depressed bc they’re “cheating” on each other

-cady got stuck halfway up a staircase for a solid twelve hours and nearly died until i figured out how to cheat and move her

[mirobami]

I’m back again 😈, lemme request my bae Aoi again 😩, with hearts and two pair, bc I know damn well we’d be both amazing soulmates to this fine man 🤭

↳ wish it wasn’t you

♠️ CHARACTER: a. mibuomi

♠️ MATCH: Hearts (Enemies to Lovers) + Two Pair (Soulmate!AU)

♠️ NOTE: MY FELLOW AOI MIBUOMI STAN GLAD TO SEE YOU HERE 😩listen i’m not saying that i would run laps for aoi, but i would carry him while i do so ANYWAYS ENJOY because this was longer than i thought it would be omg

“Can you, for once in your life, shut up?!”

“Aww, but you’re so cute when you’re flustered, my love.”

You were fuming, stomping through the hallway and everyone quickly jumped out of your way, not wanting to get in your fury’s way. Aoi was following you with a smirk on his face. You were trying to get away from him so you could go check the gambling dens, as part of your student council job. But he was relentless and decided to go with you, per Kirari’s request. So now he listens to Kirari, only when it came to annoying you. This was infuriating. You just wanted to do a round to see if you could find your soulmate and do your job. After all, everyone in this school had a tattoo that matched their soulmate’s and no one else’s. But Aoi was making even finding your soulmate difficult.

Slamming open the student council meeting room door, you stalked through to get to Kirari. “I demand for you to keep Aoi here.”

“Oh, you’re using my first name now! Do you want to get married next?”

You moved faster than anyone in the room could process. Whipping around, you grabbed his necktie and tugged him closer to you. “Listen, you arrogant asshole, I am not the person to mess with and I swear to God, if you don’t stop, I will make sure that you will never be able to talk again. Understood?”

Even with all your threats, he was smiling with a mean glint in his eye. “I hope you’re my soulmate, because I would love to see what else you could do.”

Letting go of him, you turned to Kirari. “The dens are all cleared. I’m going home. If Aoi follows me, you will have to find a new treasurer.”

The next few days were less eventful. Aoi had somehow decided to stop bothering you as much, having put on a lot of work. You were the only student council member aware of his Full Bloom society. Like Runa, you said you were neutral to the situation. He couldn’t say anything about you because he was the only one who knew your background (he figured out behind your back and you chased him for hours to try and strangle him) and the spot you were in granted you safety. He never brought you to his society meetings, though, because he still didn’t trust you and he didn’t want you to know where the meetings were held. The entire rivalry between you two felt one sided at times, because he was more open with you and you slammed him down each time. He would flirt with you, but you knew it was in a mocking manner. 

You had gotten loads of paperwork from Sayaka and you were to take some of them to Aoi. You knew exactly where he was and you knocked on his office door. “Hey, dumbass, I have your paperwork.” He never answered. Opening the door, you saw his empty desk and sighed. Figures. 

Leaving the papers on his desk, you started to walk away before hearing something through a wall. It was a bunch of chattering and the familiar sound of dice and slot machines. The wall was hollow where you tapped it, concluding that it was a door. Opening it, you saw an entire system of house pets there, playing card games, at slot machines, talking amongst each other. You found the Full Bloom society. 

Due to your status as a student council member, you incited fear into all of them. It was even more clear now when literally everything stopped and everyone turned to look at you in fear. No one said anything and you scowled. “Where. Is. Aoi.”

A trembling girl called for Aoi and he was laughing, talking with someone else as he walked out. His head turned to look at you and for the first time, you saw genuine fear in his eyes. You were neutral, but you hated him. You wanted any reason to be his downfall. He could tell that this was good blackmail. “Oh no.”

“Well, well, well. An entire society of house pets here, led by you, nevertheless.” Leaning against the wall, you touched your lip and smiled. “So this was the society, huh?”

“Y/N, it’s not what it looks like.”

“It definitely is.”

“You said you were neutral.”

“Yes, I also said I hated you. You think I’ll be honest to my enemy?” Humming, you memorized the features of all the house pets fearfully looking at you. “It would be interesting if someone told Kirari about all of this.”

You had your arms crossed as you grinned at him. “You want to kiss me so bad, it makes you look stupid.”

Aoi immediately launched himself at you, dragging you out of the room to shut the door. He was breathing heavily as he turned around to look at you. "If you say one word to Kirari--"

"I will do it."

"Y/N, please, you don't get it." His tone was practically desperate, trying to convince you. "Actually, you should, you used to be poor."

Your eyes flashed at that as you gritted your teeth. "Why do you think I'm neutral? I got here because I actually tried!"

"You think they aren't?!"

"Sometimes I think you're really stupid."

You both were glaring at each other and he huffed, digging into his coat pocket. "If you don't say anything, I'll pay you. In fact, I'll do anything for you as long as you keep quiet about this."

"Bribery."

"God, you're so irritating at times. Take the money and go!"

“I do want to kiss you!"

His confession made both of you blink. You stood there in shock, not processing what he was saying. His face was redder than his jacket and he face palmed. "I--That wasn't--"

"Show me your tattoo."

He didn't say anything. He took off his jacket and unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt, shoving aside the cloth on his left shoulder. There was the exact replica of your tattoo, the one that matched with your soulmate. Fortunately, yours was just on your bicep.

"There. Happy? We're soulmates, you hate me, just go and spill it. What I said before--"

"Aoi, you idiot, hurry up and kiss me before I decide to leave and tell Sachiko and Kirari everything."

If it wasn't for the door behind him, he definitely would have passed out standing and the worst part was he had no witty comeback. You were going to be the death of him.

[lutawolf]

Hi Luta!

I just wanted to say that I really enjoy reading your blog! As someone who has no experience with the community, reading your posts and analyses has been so interesting since it's a perspective I never would have thought of to look at the show from. I think the first posts of yours that I found were about looking at Kinn and Porsche's relationship from a D/s pov and I remember reading it like "WAIT WAIT THIS FITS THEM SO WELL THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE" and just having to read more 😂😂 I was already excited for VegasPete (because of the show's excellent writing, the amazing acting) but your blog has only made me more excited bc I have your analyses to look forward to too!! 💖

I also just wanted to say I'm sorry people are giving you so much shit for writing the analyses that you do. While watching KinnPorsche and looking around the fandom, it's annoying seeing ppl who are STILL complaining about how toxic and unhealthy the show/the relationships are.........that's literally the whole point. It's a mafia show full of morally grey characters in morally grey situations, this was never the set up for cute, healthy, wholesome relationships. If that's what you were expecting or hoping for than that's on you for being naive/having unrealistic expectations. And the whole point of having these morally grey characters in morally grey situations is to make you uncomfortable. It's supposed to make you uncomfortable and think bc that's what good art does. And what makes this kikf of art so great is that it allows you to engage with grey/toxic situations and characters in a way that is safe! It's why ppl love horror movies, they can feel scared in a safe environment bc nothing is actually going to happen to them. Like am I excited to see how VegasPete plays out? Ofc! Does that mean I think they are the ideal depiction of a healthy relationship that likes to incorporate bdsm? Good fucking god no. Do I think Vegas is hot? Ofc! Would I actually want to meet Vegas in real life? Oh hELL NO.

I understand if you'd rather not post your thoughts on VegasPete due to the dumb ppl coming your way, but for what it's worth, I really love reading your thoughts, and that's coming from someone who has no experience with the community. I really wish more ppl had an open mind bc they're really missing out on the quality content that is your blog 💕

Hope you have a nice day!💖💖

Hey Hey Bestie,

Woot! I'm really happy to hear that you've enjoyed my blog. It's comments like this that make it worth it. I enjoy writing this and I came here to get it out for me but knowing other people like it. That means a lot. It's like having a conversation with other people vs screaming to the void and only getting an echo back. I didn't expect to get as many people interested in my opinion as I did. Which I think naturally attracts people who want to catch you being wrong. That's just who some people are. I will say that the anon rude asks have cut back a lot. I think it's due to the fact that my bullshit tolerance has lowered.

I think all us VegasPete stans are dealing with the same back lash. People are passionate about this show and that's good. It's when they can't use their words to communicate in an intellectual way that it becomes a problem. I think that's the root of it, honestly. They don't agree with us but they can't necessarily have an open discussion with us. Because how do you truly debate something you have no understanding or real knowledge of. That's truly the crux of it. Vegas is bad there for in their heads, we shouldn't like him and neither should Pete. He hurt Pete. Okay but Pete likes pain. It's up to Pete whether he forgives Vegas and if he finds redeeming qualities but I'm not exactly crying for Pete. Did you not see him kick someone, shoot someone? He isn't a good guy. This is about two people who are not good finding redeeming qualities in each other. It's not one being good and the other being bad. That's the real heart of the issue, the people who can recognize that and the people who can't.

I am for fuck sure not going to stop posting. I do that for me and the people I love. I just won't always put my stuff in the Kinnporsche or vegaspete tags so I would think about checking on me from time to time. Otherwise you'll have to hit the notification button which I realize is a pain in the ass. I used to use it and then I was constantly getting ping. I think I accidently dropped some people trying to get it off. I'm so not tech savvy. Anyways, thank you so much for tuning into my blog and for reaching out. It means everything. 💜💜💜

[for-yoongi0309]

sorry hun, but i dont think yoongi is like that. hes not the azzhole of the grp.

- no offense, but since when we started to dissect his actions? if he really wanted to keep this private he would kept this private n closed the subject. even more bout we knowing that hes truly a private person. also, he were the one that said the boys show to us what they want to show, not everything, but what they want to share n then? he keep feeding armys. also, most of us had already forgotten bout it then he went to wv and started it again

- i just came here to have a good time, to see yoonie on my dash but u really looks like a twt army. we cannot have peace even here. the think pieces smelling like one. are the same. sighs. yoonie stans having 0 days of peace. as always.

- keep the privacy about a '7' tattoo that the members were the ones being vocal about it bcoz of them bond&love as brothers? if they wanted privacy why they, themselves, were the ones revealing this to their own fans? they need to prove something now about boundaries? the same ones that started this sht? for a grp always loud about love their fans, funny seeing them now trying to domesticate their fandom. they start something and then need yall to sftu, obeying them without a second thought

- are we talking about the same guy that never failed to keep his promises when it comes to armys? he changed to become something so ?????????? bc of 'privacy'? kkkkkkk okay, then 💀

- are you talking about the same myg that NEVER let armys down? its just a 7 in his body everyone showed them tattoos, so its not so dang deep like you are trying to make it look im always on twt and armys there arent being so dramatic and trust me, army twt are VERY annoying and corny ppl are just excited seeing this as a challenge, please

- yg isnt the rude one of the grp making something normal becomes smnt nonsensicalhe was the one saying he made the tat cus the members wanted (he loves the guys n will never say no for them) and he also said he wont do a tat again cus knowing his personality he'll probably not get so satisfied later bout the place, etcso we are now dissecting his attitudes since when and making it something deep? weird.

- he just said: "I got the tattoo. I got it, but where I got it. I wont say. Try finding it' he was teasing armys O_o so, your point????? also, he keeps teasing armys going with the flow, so?????

- or perhaps u are projecting. yall always trying to make everything so damn deep 🤥🤡

- if he didnt wanted people to keep talking about his tattoo and trying to find it, he wouldnt be on weverse putting more fire on it or feeding his own fandom curiosity even moredoesnt make any sense, sorry.

— I have NO IDEA if these anonymous messages are from the same person, I don't know where they connect or if it's multiple people with multiple messages, I have no idea where any of it is the start.

But you guys took everything out of proportion. I never said yg is rude or anything. You guys are pulling words out of my mouth that I never said. What I SAID in that reply of the post is "his way of not wanting to tell us that he doesn't want to show is telling us nicely by telling us to find it in a teasy fun way. " Because " saying no or not he won't show it can easily come off as mean TO SOME PEOPLE"

I NEVER said he was rude, I said "to some people" because there are still many people who find his ways of joking as rude - there are plenty of idols who get bashed for telling their fans no, that's why I said "to some people"

I have no idea how the fuck to respond to any of this nonsense bullshit since everyone wants to make me out as the bad person for my opinion, attack me for something that was simply on my mind, trying to pull words out of my mouth of said I never said and accuse me of stuff I never did. I am nothing like the "twt army" and I am sorry for making everything deep, and I'm sorry for "dissecting his actions" it wasn't my intention to and I didn't want to come off that way. I'm sorry for opening my mouth about the situation and his tattoo subject.

For now on, I will not make any comments or text posts about anything and focus on posting photos/videos only so I don't offend or bother anyone else.

I'm sorry for causing problems

[team-cap-for-the-win]

Hi so i wanted to say few things just to get it out of my system.(im new to tumblr dont kno how this works whtvr)

i hate it when people put steve in this bubble of perfection. And i dont mean people who make heart eyes and claim steve is the perfect human being. The people whom im talking about is the ones who demand and expect steve to be that way, when he clearly never claimed he is perfect. When i put myself in steve's shoes, i realize how goddamn frustrating it'd be. People would be waiting for him to make a mistake so that they can prove he is this horrible human being(or at least a flawed person, which is such a high standard) people are allowed to have flaws and make mistakes bc it's in human nature and in steve's case i never see people realize it's like he has to be perfect bc hey he's captain america. I feel this way strongly specially in avengers 2012 when tony says steve is gonna do smt wrong and it's gonna blow up in his face AND he's gonna be there when it happens. Like tony WANTS steve to make a mistake so that he can watch and enjoy it(why? Bc of his unsolved daddy issues). It applies to the fandom too. Tony attacks bucky but hey, it's justified bc, tony creates ultron BUT!!! it!s again justified bc reasons(traumatized, ptsd,cares about his friends etc.). Wanda did such and such and such but it's ok to make mistakes. Tony shot sam but his friend was injured. Especially when you point these to t*ny st*rk stans theyr like: can't you just accept that some characters can be flawed make mistakes and move on!!!

But when it comes to steve and what happened in siberia people r like:HoW dARe STEvE MAke a miStAKe ??!! HE iS a HyPOcriTe, a tWo FaCEd BaSTard! HE DESERVES DEATHHHHH!

thank u for coming to my ted talk jkskdjdj i always wanted to say that.

HELLO THERE!! YES, I ABSOLUTELY AGREE!

First of all, welcome to tumblr! It's nice to see new Steve fans coming in :D I think you're gonna get the hang of it soon!

And yeah, I've made and reblogged many posts about this topic in the past. For some reason, people put Steve on a really high pedestal and he's not allowed to make mistakes because he's either a) perfect, and that means a mary sue, or b) the devil incarnate that is the root of all issues and the MCU. You can't have it both ways, guys.

The thing that upsets me the most is that yes, Steve made a mistake in Civil War by not telling Tony, but he not only regrets it, he also tries to own up to it, and apologises to Tony, which is something Tony has never done ever. And even then, people dunk on his apology letter for being badly written or not considerate or something.

It's just this incredibly high standard that he has to constantly live up to, and the moment he steps out of line, the fandom is ready to crucify him. It is very, very annoying. Thankfully, this side of the fandom has died out a lot, I think it experienced a high when Civil War came out. And then again with Endgame, and that hate is still around, but what can we do? Make good posts about Steve, since that's all we have left...

On that topic! In my opinion, it would be interesting to me if we were to translate this trend into the MCU (in fanfiction form, of course! Don't know if you read that sort of thing, but bear with me). That means: what if the people in the MCU act and treat Steve like the stans do? How many of them view him as perfect Captain America without looking at Steve Rogers? And how long can he go on like that, trying to live up to that title, and not fail or disappoint anyone? Steve is a character that has very often had a dichotomy between himself and his superhero persona, as can be seen in the comics. There were times he gave up the mantle, even going as far as claiming that: "It is time for Captain America to die, so that Steve Rogers can live."

Why am I telling you all this? Well, I would love to see more stories explore just how much pressure is put on him, and how he still endures it and doesn't give up. Additionally, we could have other characters realise what's going on, notice how hard he's pushing himself, talk about it, and support him when they find out just how unhappy he is, how out of sync he is with, well, being Steve.

If there was one thing missing in the MCU, it was more stress put on the distinction between Steve and Cap. I would have loved to see more of that, in canon or otherwise.

Anyway. I've been rambling for a while now and I hope you liked my idea, because in my opinion taking this bad faith reading and turning into something nice and thoughtful is the best way to combat these sorts of opinions ;)

Once again, welcome to tumblr, thanks for stopping by, and I hope you enjoy your stay here :D

(PS: you can check out the #pro steve rogers for more positivity!)

[isoldmysoultojonahclemence]

Clemence Father

JONAH’S ROUTE JUST CAME OUT ON IKEREV TW AND I’M ON PART 12 AND I RLLY WANNA CAUSE SERIOUS BODILY HARM TO JONAH AND LUKA’S FATHER RN. I TALKED ABOUT HIM BEFORE ON LUKA’S EVER AFTER POST HERE BUT NOW IMMA TALK ABOUT IT AGAIN BC BELIEVE IT OR NOT, HE’S AN EVEN BIGGER ASSHOLE IN JONAH’S ROUTE.

BUT ANYWAYS HERE’S WHAT HAPPENED.

SPOILERS FOR JONAH’S EVER AFTER UNDER THE CUT

(ps the screenshots all have that orange recording button bc i want to look at them without having to go through the entire route again. sorry if they’re kinda annoying!)

Aight, so Jonah proposed to MC (well, he kinda just announced that MC is his fiancee from now on but whatever), and he decided to bring her to the Clemence house for this party to meet the family. Luka was there as well, standing in a corner. MC kinda wanted to join him in the corner as well, but Jonah dragged her off to meet his relatives. But they all seemed to dislike MC because she’s not from a good background.

Then, this dude enters the scene:

[Translation:

A dignified-looking man walked over here, looking at me, who is standing by Jonah, in surprise.]

And then, when Jonah goes to introduce MC as his fiancee, his father cuts him off by saying that he never heard of Jonah having a fiancee before. Like, Jonah was in the middle of a super serious and sincere introduction and his father just interrupted like that in a super cold voice. I was already starting to dislike him at this point, but I didn’t wanna fight him just yet.

Also, here’s something that kinda surprised me:

[Translation:

(His looks seemed to be similar to Luka’s, but his disposition...

(It seemed to be 50 times scarier than Jonah when I first met him...)]

I found it kinda weird how Luka actually took after him in terms of looks more than Jonah did??? Like, my original headcanon was that Luka didn’t actually look very similar to his father, which could be part of why he was ignored so much, but I guess he was ignored even when he looks like his father. Ouch.

Also, whenever the Clemence father makes an appearance, the thing that MC talks about the most is how scary/stern his disposition is. He must be someone really ruthless to warrant that kind of description.

After that, his father goes on to guess that Jonah had made the decision to bring MC without consulting anyone in his family because he knew that his decision would be opposed. I suppose that Jonah’s father does know him quite well, but it actually unsettles me more, because he seems to have no regard for the effect he has on his sons. Like, Jonah literally had to fight to keep his head up under such pressure.

So Jonah goes on to explain why he chose not to tell anyone about it, but his father interrupts him AGAIN with this huge speech about how the Clemence bloodline cannot be mixed with a bloodline of unknown origins. They have kept his tradition for hundreds of years, and that every single heir has accepted this fact and chose to marry someone of high social standing. 

Jonah, naturally, was pretty angry, and told his father that he has gone too far. But guess what? This dude ignores him YET AGAIN and tries to convince MC to marry Levie instead of Jonah. Seriously. No wonder Jonah never listens to anyone else if this was the role model he had. I’m really starting to grit my teeth at this point.

Also, something concerning is how Jonah’s father knew that Levie is after MC, since that was classified information. Jonah confronts him about him, but he brushes it off by saying that he was the former Queen of Hearts and he has all the information sources he need. I wonder how powerful he was when he was Queen if he was still so influential in his retirement. And yeah, he totally strikes me as the sort of guy who would order Claudius to assassinate people...

But anyways, Jonah’s father tells him that he’ll pretend as if he heard nothing and walks off, even though Jonah tried to tell him that he wasn’t finished yet. What a guy.

Jonah leaves MC with Luka and goes after his father. Luka takes MC to his room and tells her something really sweet. He tells her that to trust “that guy” (Jonah) and to wait for him, which really showed his reliance on his older brother. Like, even though he rejects Jonah a lot and avoids him, deep down inside he still believes in Jonah. 

And after a few parts we get a flashback where Jonah recalls the conversation he had with his father after he goes after him, and this is where my blood starts boiling.

So the Clemence father reminds Jonah, in a pretty harsh way, that when he had rejected marriage alliances in the past, he has always said that he’ll find someone better. He then goes on to call MC “that kind of person” (as in, a person of low birth and social standing), and Jonah gets pretty mad at him for that:

[Translation:

Jonah: Even if you’re my father, I cannot allow you to call her “that kind of person”...!

Clemence Patriarch: Don’t change the topic!

Hearing his father’s roar of fury, Jonah wasn’t scared in the slightest, and instead glared fierily back at him.]

I find it kinda interesting how the game refers to Jonah and Luka’s father as “the Clemence Patriarch” instead of “Clemence Father” or something. That would probably make more sense, because the term “Patriarch” can refer to a grandfather, an uncle, a cousin, etc., not necessarily a father. But I guess this highlights how his identity as a patriarch is prioritized before his identity as a father.

And then this scene happens:

[Translation:

Clemence Patriarch: Whatever you say! There is nothing more to say, get out. 

Clemence Patriarch: In order to prevent the failure of the first, we still have a second.

Clemence Patriarch: I will disown you as my son, and make Luka the heir of the family, and then he’ll be the one to marry a high-born noble lady.]

DUDE WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

IT DOESN’T WORK LIKE THAT??????????? YOU CAN’T JUST DECIDE THAT YOUR SON IS A FAILURE WHEN HE DOES ONE (1) THING AGAINST YOUR WILL AND TOSS HIM OUT AND MAKE YOUR OTHER SON THE HEIR???????????????????

Honestly he makes Jonah and Luka sound so expendable, and that’s really not okay. They’re human beings, his own SONS, not an object to be thrown away when it served its use. Like, if I had any doubts about why Luka left his family before, this scene just explained everything. Who would want this guy as their parent????? 

And of course, as the best nii-sama in the world, Jonah caves.

[Translation:

Even though he wanted to follow through with his own ideals, he couldn’t let his important brother, Luka, be sacrificed.

Not only would Luka have to bear the burden as the heir, a burden that he has been bearing for many years, 

And he would marry some lady who he has never met before, this absolutely cannot happen!

Jonah: Just this one thing...please don’t do it.

Jonah could only bend to his father’s will.]

JONAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY POOR BBY LET ME GIVE YOU A HUG (っ˘̩╭╮˘̩)っ

He’s literally in an impossible position right now. If he wants to marry the love of his life, he would have a sacrifice his precious brother, and if he wants to protect his brother, he would have to sacrifice his fiancee. If he wants to keep them both safe, then the only real solution would be to leave the Clemence family.

Come on, Cybird. Y’all made him turn against the Red Army in his original route and now you’re making him turn against his family now??? When will the torture for Jonah and his stans ever end??????????

And here’s a few other lines from the Clemence Patriarch to disgust you:

[Translation:

Clemence Patriach: I am a generous and maganimous person.

Clemence Patriach: As long as the Clemence bloodline is protected, I don’t care if the heir is you or Luka.]

......I literally have nothing else to say.

Istg this dude is the worst parent in the Red Army, and the Red Army is already brimming with awful parenting skills. Lancelot’s father pretty much neglected him and Edgar’s uncle straight-up abused him, but you could still tell that they cared about their sons in their own little twisted ways. Lancelot’s father eqipped him with all the skills he would need to be King, and Claudius took all responsibility for the Bright family business in the end, protecting Edgar. And then we have the Clemence father who’s all like: i MaDE TwO kIDS foR a reASoN anD ThAt iS To HAVE ONE OF THEM REPLACE THE OTHER/USING ONE OF THEM TO THREATEN THE OTHER IF THEY MESS UP. ALSO NEITHER OF THEM MATTERS APPARENTLY BC THEY’RE BOTH JUST TOOLS FOR CARRYING ON THE BLOODLINE.

DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE.

I get that this is only part 12 and he’s probably going to have a redemption scene or at least some whitewashing at the end, but STILL. I really, really, really, really, really don’t like Jonah and Luka’s father.

[realcube]

haikyuu boys with a professional volleyball player! s/o 🏆

characters: kuroo, bokuto, kita, oikawa & sakusa 

tw// swearing

thank you anon for this awesome request!

Tetsurō Kuroo

he’d tell all his teammates about you and none of them would care

well, lev would care - he’d be so excited and asking for kuroo to get him your autograph but yaku would just be like ‘you don’t actually believe him, do you? 🙄’

so yeah, yaku would convince lev and yamamoto that you were just a figment of kuroo���s imagination

even thoUGH YAKU KNEW YOU WERE A REAL PERSON BC HE HAD MET YOU BEFORE AND  HE KNEW THAT YOU WERE DATING KUROO AIREBVKZGA he just loved annoying kuroo <3

and he did the job well bc kuroo was definitely annoyed

he’d be waving his phone around, desperately trying to show lev and yamamoto the selfies he took with you but they’d just be like 😑

then he finally convinced you to come visit him at practise to put an end to his humiliation

so you appeared one day and kuroo was so hyped

but not as hyped as yamamoto

he has hot-ppl senses which tingled when you entered the room so he was the first to greet you while kuroo was sitting setting up the nets

he was literally all over you

‘woah 😍 your thigh are so toned’

‘uh thank you ???’

and kuroo was not here for it

‘AYE GET YOUR DIRTY PAWS AWAY FROM THEM!!’

yamamoto fkn shits himself and runs ✌🏃‍♂️💨

then kuroo picks you up bridal style and parades you around the gym, rubbing it in everyone’s face - especially yaku and lev

‘guys, do you see this? my totally REAL s/o! who’s been to NATIONALS!! uhuh. all mine, y’all.’

yaku is so ticked off and definitely goes to snitch him out to Nekomata

and lev is just so awed, ‘(y/n) is real???’

for a moment he thought he was dreaming too until kenma purposefully hit him with a ball

‘put me down, tetsurō.’ you groaned, folding your arms over your chest

he obeyed, gently setting you down on your feet before pecking your lips, ‘ok, well, i should probably get back to practise now - train hard so hopefully one day i can be as good as you.’ he joked, teasingly emphasising the ‘you’.

you playfully punched his arm before turning on your heels to head out, ‘you wish!’

although he’ll always joke about how amazing you are in comparison to him but he genuinely admires you 🤩

Kōtarō Bokuto

he hypes you up to his team constantly

they’ve literally never even met you and they are being asked all these questions from bokuto lol

‘hey onaga, did you see (y/n) at their nationals game the other day?’

onage flinched upon being jump-scared by his captain, then choked out a little white lie, ‘uh yeahhh.’

bokuto’s face lit up, ‘great! they were so amazing during the third set, weren’t they? what was your favourite part?’

onaga froze, ‘uhh- oh, i think i hear anahori calling me to help him practise his sets! gotta go.’ then he proceeded to bolt off

bokuto shrugged it  off at first as he shouldn’t complain bc a teammate dropped a conversation to continue training with anahori - i mean, onaga came to volleyball club to practise so he wasn’t obligated to make conversation with bokuto

but while he was saying his goodbyes to everyone as they left the gym to go home, it hit him-

‘bye, komi! buh-bye, washio! and goooodbyeeee, konoha.’ bokuto let out a relived sigh as he had now finished saying his partings which meant he could lock the gym then go home, ‘wait-- ANAHORI DIDN’T EVEN COME TO PRACTISE TODAY! ONAGA!’

bokuto was deeply disheartened that his own teammate would lie to him - to get out of a conversation about you, no less

he just wanted them all to love you as much as he does

like..he’s your biggest fan!!!

~ even post-timeskip ~

he’d show up to all of your games wearing your jersey and some of the eagle-eyed press would try talk to him

they’d interview him about his own affair or about the MSBY Black Jackals but he genuinely has no interest in talking about that bc today is your day and he is here to support you

‘are you and your team hopeful to attend Olympics despite player Miya’s rumoured injury? and disclose whether these rumours are factual?’

sakusa decked atsumu after he joked about having covid-

the interview shoved and waved a microphone in bokuto’s face while he just stared at them blankly like ◉_◉

after a while bokuto stuffed a handful of popcorn in his mouth and chuckled, ‘don’t know! but the game is about to begin, shhh!-’ he hushed the interviewer, instinctively swatting the microphone away as he stood up in the stands to cheer for you, ‘WOOOO! GO, (Y/N)!’  

then he turned to the interviewer who stood frozen with a dumbfounded look on his face, ‘THAT’S MY LOVERRRR!’ he screamed into the microphone so loudly that all the press naturally backed off

and please do the same for him when the press approach you at his games 🙏

Shinsuke Kita

ofc he dates a volleyball player player-

he is such an ushijima

he is ushijima if he wasn’t left-handed

he doesn’t really brag about you too often at practise but he feels so proud when you win a game then he comes to practise the next day and his teammates tell him to pass on a congratulations

also he always comes to your games

no matter how minor or how large

you’d think you could both bond a lot over volleyball and you did that in the beginning

but over time - especially when you started playing volleyball professionally - you found other things to bond over and saved volleyball for work

he probably runs a (y/n) stan page AEIVBARTBV

AND YOU’D NEVER GUESS

like he is literally a rice farmer- you are under the impression that he doesn’t even know what facebook is

and he’s good at selling the act too

‘did you see the picture of us i posted on my instagram?--’ you asked, taking another spoonful of your cereal

‘insta what?’ kita inquired without hesitation

then as soon as you exit the room, he’ll log onto his (y/n) twitter stan account

ok ok sorry i’ll stop now

anyway he ALWAYS tries to ensure that the first thing you eat after a big game is something that he cooks

and if you go out with your team to eat after a game to celebrate a victory, he’ll try at act sweet but he’s lowkey shady tbh

‘congratulations on your victory, (y/n). and to many more’ he lifted his glass and so did you

but just as you were about to take a sip, kita interjected, ‘but that is going to be difficult if you keep filling your body with junk rather than healthy, organi--’

‘kita-’

‘ok.’ he took a sip of his drink in your honour

HE JUST CARES ABOUT YOUR HEALTH AND WELLBEING HE’S NOT TRYING TO BE RUDE 😭

Tōru Oikawa

again, when you and oikawa first started dating, volleyball was one of the only things y’all talked about

but now that you were both doing it professionally, it was basically banned in your home

well, the the game itself wasn’t banned but i mean, why would you do something all day then come back to talk about it more?

you both might adore volleyball but everything has it’s limits lol

anyway, oikawa is another one that is extra af when they come to your games

he probably makes a sign and paints his face in your team colours

and when you come out onto the court, he’ll blow you a kiss and if you don’t blow one back he’ll be so offended lmao

bc he always makes a big deal out blowing you a kiss or winking at you as soon as he steps out onto the court

it’s basically a thing he does for good luck at this point

also, if there are ever ppl trying to take pictures of y’all in public- oikawa is the first to make a big show for them

like he’s all up on you 

he’ll dip you then push his lips against you for a passionate kiss, in front of the ppl and they always go fkn crazy

he thinks he is like..Beyoncé famous...which he is not

please humble him 

but nicely 

but y’all only get attention around summertime when you are frequently playing big games 

like if oikawa leaves the house a week you competed in a big game- he’ll literally get swamped with ppl asking about you 

but contrarily, if you both leave the house in winter literally no one would even spare you a glance

on a RARE occasion, someone might sneakily snap a photo but that’s it

so you get the best of both worlds :))

also, if you’re an ace and he’s ever feeling down, if you ask him to set for you for a bit and you compliment one/all of his sets, he’ll literally feel so much better 

Kiyoomi Sakusa 

sometimes you both come back from a rough day at work, slump on the couch and watch TV together

after showering, changing, dinner etc

he’s not nna come anywhere near you if he thinks there is a chance he might be stinky from practise 

he turned on the TV and it just so happened to be on an Live volleyball game in some language that neither of you understood

he’d snake his arms around your shoulders and pull you close to his chest, satisfied by your synced breathing 

he’d press a single kiss against your jaw before shifting his attention onto the channel

you’d lay there in his arms, both of you seeming content in each other’s presence while watching the game

in reality though, neither of you were actually absorbing anything that was happening on the court - you were just staring blankly at the TV

the TV simply served as background noise to your cuddling

tbh he was way more interested in hearing the sound of your heart beat peacefully against his chest 

after a while, if he gets bored, he might finally break the silence by inquiring about your day

but if he doesn’t, you’d probably end up falling asleep in his arms, forcing him to sleep on the couch bc he’s doesn’t want to risk moving and waking you up 🥺

anyway, he’s another one that likes to save volleyball for work then leave it by the door as soon as you step inside the house 

but he’s not as uptight about it as oikawa or kita

like he’ll happily put on a volleyball match for you guys to watch if he thinks the player’s techniques are impressive

also, if the weather is nice, if you ask him to come out and practise with you for a bit and he’ll say yes 🤠

but actually 🤔 now that is think about it, if you guys had a pool in your back garden sakusa would definitely make the most of it

you’ll humbly ask him spike for you on a nice sunny day and he’ll be like

‘volleyball? really? we bought this expensive ass house with a pool which we can only use 4 out the 365.25 days of the year and you want to play volleyball? don’t you do that like..every work day.’

what can i say? man likes getting his moneys worth 🤷‍♂️

‘so is that a no to volleyball?’ you’d ask

*cue sakusa picking you up bridal style and dropping you into the pool*

then you play pool volleyball 👍

as for your games, he turns up in casual wear 😔

disappointed but not surprised

you’ll jokingly be like ‘hey! why aren’t you wearing my team colours? how are people gonna know who you’re cheering for?’ which is fair bc you turn up to all his games with his MSBY black jackals jersey with one of those foam pointy fingers with his number on it

MANS WOULD POINT TO HIS FKN WEDDING RING LIKE ‘our team colours right here.’

[werewolfashton]

since there was that anon going around who had an apparent problem with not finding non-smut long fics, here are a couple of fics that might not hit the much desired 50k but that are definitely on the longer side:

@escapesos has many, there's a lovely song fic that is very high on my tbr and that i've only heard good things about, and if you're a horror fan i would highly recommend it!sos and my baby murder lashton

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30996116

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26638459

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33870142

@ashesonthefloor my darling has this great ot4 halloween fic from last year

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27314626

@pixiegrl has a wonderful stardust au and also multiple others on the longer side (lovely works in general just saying) oh i nearly forgot bar au the adorable boys

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30326619/chapters/74754183

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30959270

@calumcest - yeah surprise i'm a helen stan first and a person second - has multiple fics on the longer side but specifically britpop au and soulmate au came to mind immediatly (yes both unfinished as of now but i promise they will be finished bc i'll simply annoy helen until she finishes them)

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25231240/chapters/61160248

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23699611/chapters/56902282

@clumsyclifford has a couple fics that i personally would consider long too but i'm gonna use that as a chance to give a shoutout to jewish cake bc i love those boys

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28447359/chapters/69709395

@kaleidoscopeminds has written a fantastic ballet au and i'm fairly sure has some others as well

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27384262/chapters/66922201

@calumsclifford feels like a staple in 5sos fic and i'd specifically recommend fangirl au and the stucky au

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24053428

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25584913

@reveriesofawriter lmao hi meghna this feels like a good way to let you know i adored your chaptered fic! always waited patiently for a new chapter

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25853683/chapters/62814901

thanks to some friends i've also been informed that @allsassnoclass and @burstingsunrise have multiple long fics i'm gonna link one from each of them!

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26118322

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31489328 (from scrolling molly has multiple long fics but i chose this bc it's been on my tbr the longest)

apart from the last two these are just the non-smut long fics that came to my mind immediately so definitely not an exhaustive list. especially since i don't personally love long fics, they're never something i seek out, so feel free to add on, i just felt like collecting them since there seems to have been a certain misconception about them not existing and there might be other people who prefer stuff without smut!

[briankang]

how did u get into skz and what were the highlights of your time with them so far? also do u have a bias line? or is it just chan? also why chan?

omg ok so!!

i actually vaguely knew about them back in 2019 when around my pace came out and my friends tori and ayanna and i were like AYO THIS SLAPS??? and i added it to my spotify but i wasn’t into kpop as much at the time so i sorta forgot about them for a bit. then like. late 2020 early last year a gc i was in (which. lol) started getting into them and me like oh that’s cool! i distinctly remember them showing me chris and bambam on the survival show and them being like YOU KNOW BAMBAM EXISTS??? and me, who had liked got7 since 2015, like yeah! and me being like. ok but who is this he’s so cute 👀👀👀 and over time they showed me some content every once in a while and i was like oh they’re neat!!! the winter is coming eps and the goddamn. skz up all night videos are distinct to me. anyways it was around gods ddu du ddu du and their final kingdom performance i started to PROPERLY dig in and the day they performed wolfgang changed my fucking life. it was 6 am i hadn’t slept and i saw christopher chan bang flip in and then DO THAT WHOLE SHIRTLESS BIT and decided right then and there to buy their bubbles and stan then forever i never looked back DBWKEJWJEJNDN.

HIGHLIGHTS…..def when hyunjin came back, the release of noeasy. not to be annoying but talking to chris on video call literally changed my life bc i didn’t even enter into a raffle knowingly i just bought my scars albums and then it. it just happened i almost cried TRHEISJSJSJ. he was soooo kind like. it was only 30 seconds but he was just. ugh. so handsome and the fact that he got flustered when i said he looked nice fhejeehejjwjw and us just. chatting like two friends like i was sooooo nervous leading up and then he came up and i felt soooo at ease? the way he looked genuinely like ☹️ that we had to hang up and was like “times up ☹️☹️☹️ see you next time????” and looked rlly hopeful about it like. it lives rent free IM SORRY I DIDNT MEAN TO GO ON ABOUT THIS DHSHSBSJS HE JUST!!!! it will never leave me ive never felt so lucky 💕💕💕💕 however mostly recent highlights have been hanging out with you guys and making friends like genuinely that’s been so fucking fun and i love you guys im so bad at replying unless we talk every day sometimes and can be kinda shy but everyone is SO kind i love stayblr. i also watched the fanmeet and streamed oddinary with tori and ayanna when it came out and that was so. fucking fun idk it was v warm i love being able to share what i love with my friends and not feel bad about it dhsbshwjsj

god. ok so im a libra (chris and i are two days apart actually, two years too it’s fun to me hehehee) and have never been able to pick just one bias bc im indecisive LMAO rn i consider it chris, minho, and felix and hyunjin. minho was not originally here. in fact i used to think he was so weird and didn’t care for his vibes but over time i truly did like warm up to him esp having his bubble. i find him so endearing and the way he just. cares is so subtle and sweet and his humor dhwgejwhjwj i didnt intend to love him like this. felix was an originally top boy tho but. as i always say. if u don’t like felix that’s a red flag like he’s nothing but kindness and warmth. hyunjin was also originally higher in my line!!! his talent is soooo incredible and idk he’s just so cute and silly and passionate and romantic. idk i think we would be besties!!!

oh christopher though. truly cannot explain the love i have for that boy it’s EMBARRASSING like. idk what it is but like that dude came into my life and nothing had been the same RHWJWSHASJSJ like he’s just so. he’s just SOME GUY RIGHT. but like. in the way you’ve KNOWN a guy like that who’s v sweet and well intentioned but awkward and silly. like a dude you were friends with or went to school with. idk that’s what i love about him like he talks about songs he loves or things he did back in the day and im like “wow we would’ve gotten along so well in school like we deadass would’ve been friends and i would’ve had a massive crush on him” RHWHEEHWJEJW like. he is just so kind and FUNNY and passionate and hardworking and just. the way he loves the Kids. ugh it just pulls at my heart and he’s so talented like the way he can literally do everything. the way he’s open with his struggles is so UGH and the way he gets flustered over everything is so cute to me and how he acts cute to everyone and just. idk i want him to succeed and always have good days and all of that. also he is so handsome oh my god like. AND cute like he does both i wish he believe that he was as good looking as he actually is. anyways i love him in a normal way a normal amount.

[muwur]

Since requests were open I was wondering if I could request father headcanons for iwai + ushi + atsumu 🥺 btw your writing is vv tasty n I can’t wait to see you write more !! Keep up the good work n stay safe !!

haikyuu daddee headcanons

✧ hc’s ✧ for iwaizumi, ushijima, and atsumu

❧ gn reader

✎ 1.4k words

a/n: omg u called my writing taSTY Dx i cri tySM 💞 that is a high compliment for me AHAHAHAH ILY and ty for the request! 

also my lovelies i m back i m sry i was gone so long feojfe i miss yall <3 here u go enjoi, this was fun to write lmk if yall want more characetrs AHAHA

current listen: accidentally in love by sHREK AAHAH jkjk i mean counting crows, they cant take that away from me by ella fitzgerald and louis armstrong, love the way you lie by eminem and rihanna

requests: open!

iwaizumi

✧ prePARED daddy

✧ picked up on this parenting thing p fast, also does a lot of research so he’s ready to face any situation

✧ teaches his kids how to behave n respect others

✧ also makes sure they know not to talk to strangers and teaches them some self defense

✧ be warned these kids are packing a surprise can of whOOP ASS,, dont fuck w them,, plus u wouldnt want buff daddee iwa on ur tail

✧ honestly his kids would be ANGELS ,,, n thats cuz he treats them all so w e l l

✧ mans is ATTENTIVE. he asks his kids about their days, their interests, and encourages discussion about their fEELINGS 🥺

✧ always offers them really valuable and light-hearted advice

✧ and gives them the love and transparency we all wanted but never had--

✧ however his kids are easily (n negatively) influenced esp when uncle oikawa comes to visit--

✧ but mostly bc iwa gets annoyed and slips out a lot of curse words and a “shittykawa” and then his kids started calling oikawa that and now it’s ingrained in them forever fjoefefgfvi (*distant phlattykawa crying noises*)

✧ gives them LOTS of head pats and ruffles as signs of affection

✧ PACKS THEIR SCHOOL LUNCHES and ensures they eat a balanced meal

✧ attends all their games/events,, will get a bit rowdy hype them up

✧ def lets his kids sleep with him when they’re having a bad night or woke up scared from a nightmare (and waits for them to fall asleep before going to sleep himself fojref)

✧ when they were babies he usually succeeded to get them to stop crying by pulling funny faces, showing them their favorite cartoons, or humming a lullaby

✧ when they get older,,, u bet iwa would be suPER protective esp when their kids start being iNtErEsTeD in other people

✧ you: “iwaizumi, they seem like a really nice kid, though”

✧ iwa: *sitting with you in the car, across the street from the ice cream parlor your child said they were at, and spying from the window* “you can’t trust everyone, of course they seem ‘nice,’ they just want our approval”

✧ definitely did not interrupt his child’s potential first kiss at their house’s doorstep by slamMINg the door open “sUDDENLY” cuz he “hEard TheIR vOicEs and THougHt TO lET them In”

✧ effectively traumatized both kids

✧ tho he felt bad after n u made him go apologize so he did (and he was forgiven, only if he agreed to never spy on them again--)

✧ doesn’t stop him from scrutinizing every person yalls kid introduces to you tho

✧ overall a super supportive dad, 11/10

ushijima

✧ ok dEF does not know much about parenting ,, at first

✧ stared at his child like ???nani when you both changed their first diaper

✧ also had plenty of staring contests with his babies ,,, called it bonding

✧ was curious and tasted baby food once,,, immediately regretted it

✧ once put a volleyball next to his child, who attempted to bite it, and took it as a sign that they liked it

✧ after sum time n practice, his mind becomes split between “how to volleyball” and “how to dad”

✧ catch him in the kitchen wearing an apron and whipping up his kids’ favorite smiley face pancakes 😤😤

✧ has an amazing ability to get his kids to stop crying, does really simple things like give them their favorite toy or place a gentle hand on their hand or attend to their needs (mans can tell if they want food or needa poop) and they calm down immediately

✧ carried them on his shoulders once and now they never stop asking him for shoulder rides (not that he minds anyway)

✧ if theres two kids he can probs carry one on each shoulder cuz cmon ,,, have u seen this man

✧ always goes to every performance/game/event his child takes part in

✧ man smiles so soft™ when he goes to the 1st grade play and sees his kid’s name in the program next to their role as “townsperson b” (next year, they upgraded to “singing carrot” in a play about the food pyramid)

✧ if his kid ends up enjoying volleyball, he will teach them e v e r y t h i n g they need to know

✧ but is overall super supportive of anything else his child pursues and doesn’t push anything onto them, would rather let them choose what they want to do

✧ had n o idea what to do when his kid asked him about the birds n the bees asfghkl

✧ couldnt sleep one night thinking about it and just randomly asks you while yall laying in bed in the dARk like “so our child asked me how babies are made and I told them they came from watermelon seeds” (you: 👁️👄👁️ “come again”)

✧ you: *at the grocery store with your child*

✧ child: *hands you watermelon* “I want a little brother!”

✧ you: “haha of course honey” 👁️👄👁️ what do i do (*later to ushijima* “duhfojhguf we needa get another baby i promised our child a younger brother fohurof” ; ushi: “wat” ; you: “itS YOUR FAULT”)

✧ yall eventually tell them not every watermelon can produce babies only really special ones that are really hard to get fhuoefkfotfi theyre not ready for the truth

✧ another great daddee, we stan

atsumu

✧ knew parenting was stressful esp with bABieS but was like eh it cant be that bad right

✧ think again

✧ g o o d b y e  s l e e p

✧ develops phat bags under his eyes, responds with a weak “aha im fine just that parenting life and the kids ykNOW” whenever his teammates ask if he’s oKAY

✧ tried to tempt his kids to eat their mush baby food by trying it himself, nearly gagged but was able to say “eughh yuMM”

✧ loves to lift them high up in the air, even throws them up a little and nearly drops them (yall almost died from feAR but babie was having so much fun,,, yall agreed to be just a bit more careful)

✧ rlly bad at getting them to stop crying, gets very stressed when he’s exhausted every option he can think of then calls you over for some help/advice (you: *immediately calms them down* ; ratsumu: “how--”)

✧ calls up osamu a lot to ask him how to make food ,, then simps whenever his twin brother comes over and the kids are in love with this man and his cooking (”dad why cant you make stuff as yummy as this”)

✧ very affectionate with his kids, gives them lots of hugs and kisses on the forehead

✧ plays with them a lot! whether it’s sports, just dance, animal crossing, or UNO, yOU NAME IT WE PLAY IT

✧ also has no mercy when playing competitive video or board games,, has made them cry more than once LOL

✧ so sometimes he toned it down n let them win,, until his kids actually got better and DEMOLISH him every time

✧ is cool with his kids cursing, just as long as they don’t do it in front of their teachers LMAO

✧ plays innocent when he gets a call from school saying his kid was using ‘inappropriate language’ and is like “whaaat? my child? im not even sure where they learned that, maybe check if the other kids in class are saying those things, too--”

✧ reminisces how much nicer his kids were to him when they were younger and all the time they spent together,,, bc now that they reached their tEeNS they want alone time

✧ wants to be B) cool dad so he tries kinda hard, esp in front of their friends but his kid’s just like dad pls dofjrgjigtgro

✧ also very supportive of whatever his kids want to pursue and dedicates time to help them in whatever ways he can (whether that be to help them practice, make sure he can provide transportation, get them supplies, etc)

✧ always playfully competing with you to see who’s the “better” parent (you win by default)

✧ PROTECTIVE dad and will easily intimidate ANYONE who crosses his kids

✧ takes sum adjustment and mental resilience but daddee atsumu perseveres  😤 absolutely loves his kids and would do anything for them  

[omegawolverine]

I know you posted it days ago but you said something about wanting to rant about either karl or his fanbase and its been itching at my brain. Ive no clue whats happening or what is happening at all cause no one seems to be making clear points?? Or explaining anything?

Obviously you do NOT have to talk about it im sure it might be a sore point to rant because people can get SO needlessly rude to others over it. But if you want to idk explain? Just rant? Im definetly curious what it was over or about.

The "you dont need to talk about this" is amplified by the fact i am DAYS late and you are probably over it by now.

okay hi yes im happy to talk about this but i think i should preface with two things:

1) even tho it may seem like im biased towards him or being very defensive of him im actually a super casual karl viewer and the only reason i am super defensive of him sometimes is bc we act a lot alike irl and that is mainly because of our neurodivegency. when i say a lot i mean we share traits like "annoying" stimming (jumping around, making loud noises, repeating the same phrases until everyone is sick of hearing them), the difficulty reading situations, the very obvious issues with volume control and not just bouncing from subject to subject to subject as we fucking please. basically anything you've seen karl do on stream that is Very Neurodivergent ive done the same in my own way which is why i get defensive when i see people calling him annoying or saying they dont like him, usually for these types of reasons. that being said, when i say im a very casual karl viewer, i fucking mean it. i usually only watch him when he's streaming with other ccs i like or when he's doing chill alt streams bc even with the annoying donos, he's pretty relaxing and comforting when he's just fucking around by himself and he isnt trying to get as hype as he would on a main channel stream. so yeah, it may seem like im biased and sure, i guess i am on some level, but it's not coming from a place of me hyperfixating on him or me even loving him as a cc, it's coming from me being a neurodivergent who likes him just enough to get upset when i see people basically being casually ableist towards him.

2) i dont have all the facts or even a great understanding on what the fuck has been happening recently with his "drama"...mostly bc he talked about it on his priv, which im not on, and people are gatekeeping the tweets, as they always do, and basically making you "dm to see them" (which is already a problem in and of itself bc apparently in these tweets he said he didnt want them being ss and shared, yet they are being shared thru dms over and over and over again like. at that point just stop withholding the information and post the fucking shit, you clearly dont care that he said "dont share"). additionally, most of the threads ive seen on this situation havent actually explained the initial issue, just talked about his apology (a lot of people have said "it's bad" but havent said why and with no screenshots ((i havent asked for someone to dm me them and i still havent seen them posted, which is mildly surprising, but incredibly frustrating at this point)), i only have a few basic details i can actually assess it on) or they talked about the initial issue in very vague details so um. excuse me trying to explain this now, but ill try and make it make sense with how little ive actually pieced together.

(oh, also, here's my first rant about the ableism in this fandom which is way more broad. this is a pretty different rant from that one, but they're both pretty big reasons why i hate this fandoms treatment of karl)

so basically the problems started with mr beast being apart of a charity stream that donated either to autism speaks or to a similar company, im unsure on that part. im also unsure on if the people participating in the stream actually knew of this or not bc, from what i remember, the money was being donated to a separate organization that was like. under the bad company or some shit like that, idk how stuff like that works and also i read about this shit months ago bc this originally happened months ago and just sorta came to a head recently.

anyways, i think karl was supposed to be apart of this stream but pulled out of it right before (that or these were two separate streams and karl was supposed to participate in the first but pulled out while mr beast did both?? idk. regardless karl did not actually participate, just mr beast). from there people started doing the guilt from association bullshit they always do, this was also doubled by the fact that the chris being racist stuff came out sometime around then and basically he got dragged all over twitter for "being ableist" and "supporting racists" and i cant remember if he actually apologized when this originally happened or not. i vaguely remember him apologizing about something back then but i genuinely dont know if it was this or something else.

basically that died down eventually, a good chunk of people unstanned him but him and honktwt didnt end up getting the lovely lil technotwt treatment and they still havent yet, surprisingly. good for them honestly ajsksk

but now we get to the past few weeks and apparently something happened with him "laughing at someone saying the r slur" (it was mizkif, i believe), specifically when it was directed at other people, which is a big yikes, obviously, but when karl was called out for this a lot of people kind of. made this into a situation that it wasnt bc um. basically karl didnt laugh at it, he gave a few nervous giggles, as people often do when in a situation like that (and karl specifically said he does this in the one part of his apology tweet which i did stumble upon, although it wasnt the important part of the apology thread bc why would it be) and people fucking crucified him for it. they quite literally dragged a neurodivergent man for supposedly "laughing at the r slur" when he can literally reclaim it and also he was just nervous laughing.

and this is where the situation just gets really bad because they. basically forced him to admit that he was autistic on his priv to apologize for this. i havent seen the screenshots of him saying this, but i saw people discussing it and i am frankly so fucking pissed about this because sure, it was a bad situation, and i understand people wanting an explanation, but an apology? for a neurodivergent man nervous laughing at a slur he can reclaim? and then forcing the man to admit something he literally said in that tweet he didnt want people to know which is why people were being so gatekeepy about it while also LOUDLY discussing the situation, as if that wouldnt drive MORE PEOPLE to look for screenshots and ways to get ahold of this information? and then people had the audacity to call it a "bad apology" when they had quite literally just violated his privacy by forcing him to admit something that he shouldnt have needed to share in the first place if he didnt want to, which he didnt.

and this is why im so pissed off. karl is already constantly picked at and made fun of and called annoying for his neurodivergent traits, things which he literally cant help, things which are generally harmless, and now he was forced into a situation where he can now be further picked at and made fun of and called annoying bc they forced him to admit something private instead of just understanding and accepting that he had been nervous laughing at someone using a slur he has definetly been called for his neurodivergency.

tldr of my thoughts: yes i think karl needed to address this situation, it definetly looked bad, but twitter stans have this sense of entitlement with their ccs and because of that, they consistently take it way too far and harm the people they claim to care about so dearly. we've seen it happen time and time again with dream, but this is the first time ive seen them basically force someone to out themselves to make their apology "valid" and most of them still seem to not want to accept it anyways, which just makes me feel bad for him bc now that info is out their and people are just disregarding it to continue "holding him accountable".

anyways, i think that's all i can really say on this topic rn tbh, if anyone else knows this situation better please feel free to lmk clarifications and ill add them in since, like i said, i know fuck all thanks to twitter being so goddamn hush hush about the important details while simultaneously being the loudest mfers about how much they hate karl now instead of just fucking unfollowing and moving on.

thanks for the ask and im sorry if this is confusing!! i just think this is one of those weird situations where like. i think karl deserved some criticism for what happened and how he handled it or at least he shouldve been asked to address it but that just. isnt what happened, at all. he was harrassed. karl got harrassed and because of that he handled this situation even more sloppily than he probably wouldve and exposed private info about himself that he didnt feel comfortable doing and it just. fucking sucks tbh.

[xnchxntmxnt]

Oikawa -

His fangirls are annoying, anywhere he goes they go.

His ego is annoying.

His aura is annoying.

The sight of him is annoying.

He is annoying.

Oikawa took a really big liking too you, not even a liking at this point - it was love.

He genuinely thought you were just playing hard to get with him, I mean - he could pull any girl. So he thought you were just playing hard to get and then soon you’d fall for him.

He’d always flirt & tell his fangirls about you too, which led in you either getting disgusting looks from them or rumors spread about you. But they didn’t last that long, you made sure too knock some sense into them by punching one square in the face.

But you were done, you take no liking to oikawa. How does he not notice?

You were exhausted from him, your smile went down whenever he came near you.

“Hey my little tsundere~ playing hard too get even more today?”

“Oikawa, please for the love of god - please stop bothering me. You’re so annoying, just shut the fuck up for once.”

With that you walk away.

Something in his throat starts to build up, he can’t speak.

It hurts.

God it hurts.

He can’t say anything else because he knows if he did, he’d burst out crying.

“Oh.”

OUCH YOU OIKAWA STANS MAY HATE ME BUT THIS IS LIKE. ACTUALLY SOMETHING THAT WOULD HAPPEN. IF I MET OIKAWA AND HE LIKED ME. GOD I HATE HIS ASS BUT I ALSO HAVE AN EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT TO HIM BC OF A FIC I READ (my rant on that here) SO OUCH

you give some awesome headcanons I CANNOT wait to hear more

[rickriordanfandam]

opinions on riordanverse ; my edition

a lot of people have been doing this so i decided why not right. probably gna lose some followers or smth but anyways. pls respect my opinions! if u disagree, thats fine, but please be polite. unless any of my opinions strikes u as morally wrong then pls point it out to me respectfully. thanks!

- i actually liked drew. im so sorry to everyone who hates her but full offence, why. think about it this way ok, first of all drew became hc because silena died. silena was the traitor, the one who betrayed chb, yet after she died campers celebrated her as a hero? and then drew suddenly has to replace her and live up to idk that legacy she left behind,, when all of a sudden this girl named piper swoops in and takes her place. idk abt u but i wld be salty abt that too. not only that, but as an asian, the chances of drew having faced racism/bullying as a child is pretty high (she studies at brooklyn academy). which means that when she finds out shes a demigod, and arrives at chb where most of the campers are white (this is an assumption btw), she’d obviously be scared of being bullied for her skin color right?? so the first thing she wld do before the campers get to bully her is to bully them before they can do so. (sentence structure here is wack i apologize) ofc this might not even have happened, drew could have had a perfect childhood && was a b1tch for no reason, BUT EVEN THEN HER ROLE AS A BULLY WAS PRETTY VITAL BECAUSE THAT FURTHER SHOWED THE CONTRAST BETWEEN HER AND PIPER,, HIGHLIGHTING PIPER AS A HERO//GOOD CHARACTER,, AND THEREFORE MAKING READERS LIKE PIPER MORE. anyway stop hating on drew please. ALSO WHY IS THIS SO LONGA SDFJHG

- jason isnt bland, the fandom just kinda erased his backstory (thanks to @pjohoo-memes for the phrasing lol)

- reynabeth wouldnt have lasted/would have broken up several times. idk i just see them as two extremely powerful characters who have firm opinions and will definitely clash at some point. in a platonic relationship,, i can see them as really good friends but as lovers? idk i just think theyll break up

- PIPABETH

- i dont really like jercy,, i see them as better friends than lovers. also idt jason and percy were that close..?

- the dam and not my type jokes are srsly cringey and were never funny. ik that seems hypocritical since my username literally makes use of the dam joke but honestly i dont actually like the joke. its not funny to me and has never been funny

- the seven were not best friends. they definitely argued,, and honestly probably werent as close as the fandom makes them seem. like ure dumped with 6 other people, out of which u only know a few. my introverted ass would have jumped off the argo 2 quicker than leo valdez could bomb camp jupiter up. also leo was a dick to frank. so what if frank is bigger sized?? thats not a valid reason to tease him

- the fandom needs to stop hating on octavian while worshipping luke. if u hate luke and u say u hate octavian too, then okay. but if u tell me ure a luke stan but u despise octavian?? imma disagree w u. luke was worse than octavian im sorry. first of all, octavian being a dick was kinda justified. hes been after the praetor position for so long, and everyone keeps saying to “wait for jason” when suddenly this dude, whos a son of NEPTUNE (neptune wasnt liked much by romans), and the camp decides to make him praetor?? dude i would be pissed off big time. and then afterwards, he finds out that greek demigods are real and the dude they made praetor is greek. AND THEN GREEK DEMIGODS COME TO CJ AND ONE OF THEM BOMB IT UP?? octavian has been told all his life that greeks are scum and this dude called leo valdez attacks cj. sure it was an accident, but did octavian know that? no. so it was honestly justified that he was such a salty prick im just saying. also some of yall be hating on octavian for cutting a teddy bear open and thats the funniest shit ive ever heard i swear 

- luke didnt go to elysium

- travis and connor stoll r way too underrated. the two have been head counselors of the hermes cabin since luke was revealed as a traitor, can u imagine the stress? luke, the person they probably looked up to as a brother, betrayed them. and they didnt even have time to process this when they were  thrown the roles of being hcs. that would have been so stressful and i would probably have broken down if i were them. the stoll brothers taking turns to wake up at ungodly hours because a new camper is crying and homesick and terrified, the stoll brothers having to comfort and take care of new campers, having to deal with the amount of people in that cramped space because not enough campers are being claimed fast enough. having to resolve issues between campers in the hermes cabin all the time. the stolls arent just comedic relief, and we need to stop treating them as such

- tratie shldve been canon idc idc

- demigods of the demeter cabin arent talked about enough and i love the fact that meg was demeters kid. like she isnt the child of one of the big three yet shes so powerful.

- we need to hype clarisse up more her character arc was phucking amazing 

- rachel is overhated. sis found out greek gods exist and regularly come down to earth to fuck around and went “ok cool”. queen shit behavior methinks

- the floor 19 crew of mcga is srsly underrated. like do u even remember halfborn gunderson, mallory keen, tj, etc??? bc i feel like we only remember samirah, magnus, alex, and sometimes blitz and hearthstone

- sadie (tkc) was kinda annoying at first. i like her more now tho but i rmb not liking her for a phat while

- tkc and mcga need more love

- carter kane and jason grace arent boring. theyre just really sweet boys who are too good for this world and yes yes yes 

- hazel and frank (especially frank) need to be hyped up more. i hardly ever see anything about them. also yall seem to forget that frank was literally made praetor and that even hecate admired hazel and was willing to fight beside her because of how powerful she was

- frazels age gap is kinda sketch but i still think theyre really cute

- nico definitely had trauma from going to tartarus on his own

- GROVER IS PERCYS BEST FRIEND

- annabeth isnt smarter than leo but neither is leo smarter than annabeth. ive seen a lot of discussions about who is smarter and heres my hot take on it: neither. theyre equally smart, just in different ways. leos a genius mathematically speaking. he has no issues solving math problems meant for people much, much older than him. annabeth on the otherhand, is great at strategies etc. she can make an army of 1000 more powerful than the enemy, even if theyre outnumbered. so in my opinion, both are equally as smart//u cant compare their intelligence, because their talents lie in two different areas.

- while i do agree rick riordan isnt a god and that hes bound to make mistakes,, AND that hes given us a lot of representation,, if the representation offends the people its sposed to represent, then theres a problem. im talking about piper as a poc and wearing feathers in her hair. im not a poc, so i cant speak for them on whether or not its wrong, because i dont know either. HOWEVER, i have seen multiple posts BY pocs talking about how they didnt really like rick’s representation of piper, and thats an issue. pocs have been and are still oppressed and discriminated against by many. as a white cis man, we cant really blame him for not knowing (tho he could have done a research,, asked some pocs,, idk), but by representing pocs in that manner, hes influencing impressionable kids/teens into thinking “oh pocs wear feathers in their hair all the time” etc, which isnt true. the pjo/hoo series is extremely successful, and kids who read the books will probably start forming inaccurate opinions on pocs. the amount of fan art that depicts piper with feathers in her hair dont help either. “but rick said so in the books, so its canon” yeah well rick isnt a god and he can get some things wrong at times. im not saying we should cancel him, im saying we should start educating ourselves and not spread false info like pocs wearing feathers in their hair all the time. also that snake song shit where she sang Summertime was just- yeah. bc heres the thing you can be racist, and still include minorities, but portray them in a racist way. And even then, ignorance isn't a thing to admire. Getting those facts wrong still has a major impact. It continues to perpetuate racist stereotypes.

“ With the feather thing, I looked it up myself; it takes less than five minutes to figure out that Cherokees don't braid feathers into their hair. I didn't grow up in the country where my parents are from. I have many other first/second generation American friends who have also been through that, with a bit of a disconnect from their culture. But something that most of us have in common is that when we didn't know something, and when our parents weren't that big of a help, we looked it up. We sought out resources online and through other people from our culture to be able to connect more with where we came from. Some of that took a Google search. So I find it hard to believe that Piper, a girl who Rick's trying to portray as someone who is attempting to connect with her culture and is totally against racist stereotypes, wouldn't know that eagle feathers aren't supposed to be braided into your hair casually. She may be disconnected from her culture, but she's also shown to want to connect back to it. Piper wouldn't be casually braiding feathers into her hair while also telling off people for being racist. It makes no sense.” - reddit thread (down below) 

for those of yall who wanna know more please please read this, it has a lot of things i wanna add in here : https://www.reddit.com/r/camphalfblood/comments/gy3gl2/piper_mcleans_portrayal_is_innacurate/ 

as well as https://finding-my-culture.tumblr.com/post/189422373260/maxie-ratties-and-cattie-finding-my-culture 

i will be posting screenshots of these in future posts so if ure viewing this on ig and u dont have tumblr,, dont worry 

- the fact that most of the strong female characters in the series refuse to be “girly”, and ngl i dont really like that. just because ure girly doesnt mean u cant be strong. 

- piper would have been a great way for him to start making the strong characters act girlier, but instead he went with the “I’m not like other girls” trope which is quite obnoxious to hear constantly, and I don’t think it’s necessarily great for younger girls to read that idea growing up.  the closest we've ever had to a strong female character who was also into "girly" things was Silena. when I was younger I admired Piper's "I'm not like other girls" thing, but then I got older and realized that the whole mentality of "not like other girls" is super obnoxious, and a little bit toxic

i have a heck load more that i cant rmb rn but yeah feel free to add more 

[woulddieforperrytheplatypus]

My mind was plagued with thoughts of the episode where the kids think Perry laid an egg and the comic where Perry saves a baby platypus from Doof, and that got me thinking: what if Perry was actually a dad to a baby platypus? One possibility is that Perry wouldn't want his child to become an agent at such a young age and would rather have his kid decide if they want to do it when they're older, but I believe that either way, the young platypus would inherit Perry's anthropomorphism.

oh my god I’ve never even thought about Dad!Perry before 🥺 I thought his relationship with the Flynn-Fletcher kids was wholesome but that has some real potential to become the superior relationship

obligatory “read more” to save everyone who doesn’t care how I feel about Dad!Perry

Okay first I gotta ask how we think this would happen. Is it the egg from Perry Lays An Egg that hatches, except it really is a baby platypus and Perry ends up taking it in because no one else can? Or is it Perry taking one of Doof’s platybabies home? Or is it trans!Perry laying his own egg? Or Perry has sex with another platypus (that’s such a weird thought lmao) and somehow he becomes the sole guardian of the egg? As the numero uno “Perry is an asexual demibiromantic platypus” stan, I kinda like the first or second one, but I also feel like the platybaby should be related to him? But at the same time Phineas and Ferb is all about how family don’t end in blood so maybe that’s not important?

Anyways onto Dad!Perry because holy shit I’m excited to explore this

I’m gonna start at the end of the ask by saying that I feel like anthropomorphism isn’t genetically inherited; I feel like it’s something that’s taught. It’s kinda a nature vs nurture type thing so I guess it’s more a psychological debate than anything, but if I had to channel my inner English teacher and draw evidence from “the text” (aka the show), I gotta bring up the koi from Attack of the 50 Foot Sister that were just kinda vibin in the neighbors’ pond at the beginning of the episode and then Monogram had to make them agents to avoid a lawsuit and by the end they were saving Perry’s ass? Which is relevant to literally nothing except that I think any baby animal Perry raises, regardless of whether or not they’re related to him by blood (or even by species), will probably turn the lil baby into an anthropomorphic lil platybaby just because of all the human and human-like influences

And now the elephant in the room (cue OWCA Files Agent E joke): how does OWCA react to the news? Which I guess is really a follow-up question to how OWCA finds out in the first place. I think we can all agree that Perry won’t want to tell them. It’s not like he sees the other agents as friends that he wants to invite to the baby shower. But Monogram would want to know if there’s a new player in the Flynn-Fletcher house not that he knows who lives there now; that’s Carl’s area of expertise. Would he have to tell them? Is there a protocol for that? Especially if it’s just an egg he picks up from The Tree™ in the backyard. That’s basically just getting a new pet, right? And sure, Monogram would want to know, but is Perry legally obligated to tell him is the question.

But Monogram has to find out one way or another, and given that Perry is the best of the best, Monogram is going to want his kid in the club. Perry would 100% say no, too, but I don’t know if it would be because he wants his son (yes it’s a boy platybaby no I don’t know why) to have his own say in his future; I think Perry would consider OWCA too dangerous for his son. I mean, we saw what happened when Phineas, Ferb, and Candace got mixed up in his job: they were almost eaten by a goozim and the tri-state area was almost taken over by an evil dictator. He would definitely want to keep his son out of that scene if he could. At least all the dangers at home are Phineas-and-Ferb-sponsored, and unlike OWCA, they would make sure he didn’t get hurt.

Buuuut Monogram is also a dumbass and doesn’t know how to take no for an answer, so he’d keep pushing. It has to be a well-known fact around OWCA that changing Agent P’s mind about anything is not an easy feat, so maybe when Monogram realized it was a lost cause, he’d try to go around Perry’s back? Maybe while Perry was at work, he’d head to the Flynn-Fletchers’ house (or send Carl again like Undercover Carl) to try to get the platybaby alone? He could explain what OWCA is and that he would make a perfect candidate. I doubt Perry would have told his son about OWCA in any detail yet other than the fact that he works there and that’s where he goes every day, so this would all be new and interesting. And then Perry either comes home when Monogram or Carl is talking to his son about OWCA or his son brings it up himself, and Perry is fuming because he made it very clear that he didn’t want OWCA anywhere near his family. 

And now I can’t help but wonder if that would cause bigger problems between him and OWCA? What if that’s his breaking point, and he just flat-out quits because if they can’t respect his very few boundaries, he doesn’t owe them anything? And assuming the platybaby didn’t come from Doof, maybe that’s how they meet? Somehow he finds out that the reason there’s a new agent working his case is that Perry’s out on “permanent paternity leave” or something, and word gets back to Perry somehow (maybe Pinky heard it through the grapevine and told him? idk) that Doof wants to meet him? And Perry’s kinda wary buuuuut at the same time, Doof isn’t his nemesis anymore. If you take OWCA out of the equation, aren’t they just friends? 

WAIT A SECOND

IMAGINE HOW NORM WOULD REACT TO SEEING A BABY PLATYPUS

LIKE

I DON’T KNOW WHY

BUT NORM WOULD ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS BABY PLATYPUS

and Doof would get kinda annoyed because “He came here so I could meet the baby, you know,” and usually that’s enough to convince Norm that he’s doing something wrong, but this time Norm is just like, “But I love him?” And Doof expects Perry to back him up and he probably should but at the same time, his son looks so happy with Norm? Without OWCA’s training, he still has that platypus aspect to his personality that comes from both his animal instinct and how the Flynn-Fletchers treat him, so he’s just kinda snuggled up in Norm’s lap and Norm is just petting him?

And this is probably after he’s shown some human-like features and Doof knows that he’s about as human as Perry, so he asks, “Does he like being pet?” and Perry nods because duh of course he does and Doof just kinda looks at him for a moment and he’s like, “Do you like to be pet?” and Perry just fuckin decks him because no he does not yes he does and Doof just nods like, “Okay, fair enough.”

AND THEN VANESSA WALKS IN???

and she had absolutely no idea this was happening she’s about to go drop her stuff off in her room for the weekend and Norm’s like, “Look at my new friend!” and Vanessa thinks it’s gonna be something stupid but she walks over and sees the baby platypus and she starts freaking out because holy shit Perry is that yours? and obviously she needs to know literally everything there is to know about him because this is her nephew now and she will not take no for an answer.

And I feel like OWCA really wouldn’t like this? I mean, Perry completely severed ties with them over this platybaby, and now he’s bringing his son over to DEI at least twice a week to see his former nemesis? And idk what they would do about it because I don’t think there’s an actual protocol for this, but Monogram is Very Sensitive™ and he won’t stand for this.

Also and I’m totally just spit-balling here but what if, because the platybaby is kinda also being raised by the Doofenshmirtzes (and the Flynn-Fletchers but idk if that would make much of a difference here bc he has to pretend to be a mindless pet around them like his dad), he gets the best of the human and animal experience all in one, without all the shit Perry had to deal with from OWCA? And what if that somehow leads him to be able to speak? I don’t quite know how that would work, mostly because I don’t really know what prevents Perry from speaking, but we already went into that back in May so I’m not gonna go there again lol

okay I’m pretty sure it’s been over two hours since I started working on this ask but I can’t help it because this is literally such a cute idea fjdshflakfa I don’t even know if I’d be content reading this like I feel like this is just something I want to write. I kinda want to see how Phineas and Ferb would treat him, and if they’d treat Perry any differently now that a) he’s a dad and b) there’s a new platypus for them to love. I also want to see how Candace would handle probably falling in love with the platybaby but still getting annoyed by Perry. I really want to see what Vanessa and Norm’s relationship with the platybaby would turn into. Idk so much about the Doof/platybaby relationship though; I feel like I’d be more interested in how this affects the Doof/Perry dynamic instead. Something about Doof makes me think he wouldn’t be as easily swayed by the platybaby as everyone else, but the fact that Perry would now be a dad just like him would probably make him unreasonably happy. And that’s not even touching upon how different life would be for Perry now that he has a son, and he would obviously adore the little guy with his entire being, but, like, he has a son? How is he supposed to deal with that?

also I really should’ve given the platybaby a name to make this more readable and it’s a little too late for that but I hereby decree that his new temporary name until such time as this fic gets written is Horatio (unless y’all wanna hit me up with your platybaby name ideas because I would love to see them?) so welcome to the Dwampyverse, Horatio :,)