#I barely got in the shower
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Me: *up all night with a bad cold, runny nose, freezing, wearing 3 jackets and a long sleeve shirt, by a heater most of the night, sore throat, not really feeling any food, don't want to eat,legs don't want to stand, too weak*
#the dishes really need to be washed and I'm too weak to do them#I barely got in the shower#I just want to sit and lay on the couch all day#my stomach is growling but nothing in the kitchen is appetizing#Can barely sleep because of my sore throat and my nose gets stuffy#I'm freezing#Like really freezing#The shower was extremely difficult because it gets cold easily and I barely had time to use soap#I hate the feeling of wet hair#I also hate the feeling of cold wet hair#I've always hated the feeling of cold wet hair touching me#being sick made the feeling worse
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So, my mom was telling me how much free time I have, and I was like, "I have no freetime wth do you mean?????" And I just wanna see if this is like. A normal way to think of things?
Things I need to do:
Finish reading icebound land
Make a whole lotta art that I promised people
Research study abroad programs
At least one Dutch lesson a day
Keep my room clean
Talk to my friends so they know I love them (and so I don't go insane)
My math homework
Keep myself clean (showers, finally brushing my teeth after months, etc etc) so I don't go insane
Eat at 7pm
Various things I enjoy as to not go insane
All from 6pm to 9 pm, every day, after being at school from 8 am to 3:30 pm and then The Public (teen center) from 3:30 to 5:30, and I need to be in bed by 9:30 and asleep by 10:00
So, basically, I'm "on the clock" from 7 am (When I start getting ready for school) until 9 pm, with no breaks
But yeah no I totally have free time. Yeaup
#“but you never actually do that stuff! you just sit and scroll!”#yeah cause if I'm not doing what I need to I'm not Allowed to do anything else#but I'm just. too tired. to do what I need yo#I hate high school#rambles#adhd#executive dysfunction#<- I've heard that this kinda mental math can be a symptom of those things? idk#im so tired#burnout#adhd burnout#(????? I think????)#high school#I'm just so tired of all of this#the sun is going down way too early and I barely speak at all at school and I never finish work early anymore and the teen center is loud#and I still want to be active in the fandom but I don't have time to make posts anymore#and I don't have any in person friends anymore and I don't know when the last time I got a hug was#and I'm just. so. tired. my room is clean and I have good grades and I talk to my friends everyday and I shower routinely#why the hell am I so stressed#I do everything I'm supposed to do#I just want to go somewhere else man#The Netherlands hopefully#I wanna actually DO something#go on a trip for band#not just finish the work put in front of me day after day after day after day#I wasn't built for this shit#I'm so fucking tired
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never in my life have i wanted a Daddy more than i do rn 😭
#personal#i'm going to ramble and drop it all in the tags#i'd like to have a pity party for myself thanks#the election?#fucked i've just been scrambling for a week now to prepare for the worst that feels like it's rapidly approaching#vaccines updated birth control bought out stockpile of food started passport appointments made tasers and protective gear purchased#banned books put on a wishlist#the holidays?#trying to make them enjoyable instead of so so so triggering#husband's new job?#barely home he's barely home i feel like a solo parent#i'm absolutely drowing at home mainly alone with two toddlers who have found their spirit and resilience and attitude...#the new house?#we've been fighting we are not vibing it's taking forever for me to feel in love with it#we do not get along rn lol#writing? personal time? self care? nonexistent i have no time alone during the day and then i spend the two hours i have to myself at night#fighting sleep and doing nothing#took a shower today and when i got out my eyelash line started burning and then my eyes were burning and then my nose was running and#then my eyes were watering and i could barely open them and goop started building and then they were SWOLLEN to the point where i could see#the muscles bulging and then i couldn't move them left or right#so i drove I DROVE myself to the urgent care#turns out my water has way too much chlorine in it and now that i've started taking hot as fuck and steamy showers it's just made me#susceptible to severe allergic reactions to chlorine?#it's been horrible my eyes are so sore now and they're just now not sopping in goop#and yeah#just...#i live the same day every day and i'm spiraling and drowning and about to go off the rails while also trying to SUCK THE JOY out of the las#month we have before democracy crumbles so#i just wish i had a Daddy to take care of me and tell me things are going to be okay 😭#preferably a Big Daddy that would let me sleep for days and would bring me food and let me hug and snuggle on him and not talk
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spent too much time in the sun today and now it’s just like you mean i have to put on aloe by MYSELF? wash off all the grime by MYSELF?? get some water and make a snack and get the bed all comfy ALL BY MYSELF?? just so i can go to sleep all ALONE??? with NO ONE here to hold me or cover me in every blanket i own??literally so offensive😤
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#spending time in the sun makes me so sleepy it’s not even funny😴#and of course i got a little burnt🙃 so now im even MORE tired#shoulders and face got crispy😞#was barely making it through showering and lotion and hair and bed etc etc#so sleepy and relaxed was just READY to fall asleep#if you want a very sleepy and pliant partner just date me and put me out in the sun for like an hour#bout to fall asleep SO fast#hopefully for SO long too#i did too much the past few days and need a BREAK😤😤#im gay and i like sleeping
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i am clinically crazy about him this isn’t funny anymore 😔😔😔😔😔
#— ai rambles#how come i feel like this after all this time#in fact i am crazier than ever now#SICK AND TWISTED#the way he’s got me wrapped around his finger#sigh 😔#also i am eyeing the two asks from yesterday 👁️👁️ that got me hot and bothered during work hours 👁️👁️#was going to answer but i crashed after work and took a nap and then wasn’t able to bounce back rip i barely took a shower before actually#going to bed but i shall entertain you later 🤞
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We thought we got one glasses pic. But nope. It's not one. Not two. Not three. Not four.
It's five glasses pics.
And one is better than the other! 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍
#AAFAGSGHSHJSHHSHJANJSJSJJS#I DONT CHECK TWITTER ONCE AND SEE WHAT WE MISS#WE GOT FIVE PICTURES WHAT IS GOING ON 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍#AND HE LOOKS SO GOOD IN ALL OF THEM#the first one is so soft 😍#my favs are 4 and 5 ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️#the light today was perfecr#THE FLUFFY HAIR#and the grey in the beard looks so goooooood 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠#i need that look in a suit#its either the light or the beard is really getting grey fast right now#and i want to believe its just because of natural aging process#no really the salt and pepper beard is looking so good on him 🫠#WE GOT 5 PICS#I STILL CANT BELIEVE IT#WE STARTED WITH BARELY A CENTIMETRE OF GLASSES ZOOMED IN AND HIDDEN BY HIM#AND NOW WR GET THEM ALMAST DAILY#AND A LOT#it must be the new glasses 👀👀👀#i want to believe they really are a gift from olena (and sasha picked them out)#and olena used all her power and charme and flattered him and showered him with comments and compliments#so he would wear them#WE ARE GETTING CLOSER TO ZE WEARING THEM OUTSIDE THE OFFIXE#I CAN FEEL IT#5 PICS 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍
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i rememorized how to solve a rubik's cube!
#unfortunately i accomplished this at 3am last night ;-;#i stayed up late for hw again and then needed a break#i love my stellar class sm bc the prof is such a down to earth and silly guy#who really prioritizes student lesrning over grades#and i love that so so so very much#and the content in class is cool!!!#the hw just takes me forever#and with everything else i have to do it piles up and i keeping staying up late to do it ;-;#and then after doing that + staring at a screen/coding for so many hours in a row i need a break before i go to bed#and then i stay up later#and by that time it's too late for melatonin#so i end up staying up later bc even though i'm exhausted i can't fall asleep bc i'm anxious#about the fact that it's late + how little sleep i'm going to get + whether or not i'll sleep through my alarms#+ the parts of the hw i still have left + the one million tasks i've put off and still need to do#tldr: i got like 4 hours of sleep and woke up 30 mins before class and rushed to campus (i didn't get to shower)#and i barely ate anything and i feel like shit#i'm about to eat lunch but i am shaky and unwell#i keep telling myself i can't keep living like this but i can't figure out how to not be in this situations ;-;#<- oh wow that's a lot of tags o.o#if you got to the end of them pls know i love + appreciate you sm for listening to me <3#i will be okay. just having a rough time rn#zip quips
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Do y’all want to see me hopping around dressed up as a green tree frog for our Halloween kids event at work???
#u guys totally want to see this I promise#I had sUCH a good day on Saturday holy shit#literally jumping around and dancing and talking abt frogs all day#it was SO much fun holy shit#I am slightly sore today after the fact#but it was barely painful and so much fun yesterday#I can’t wait for them to share the Official Photos they took during the event#I’ve got some silly ones from coworkers tho and they’re great#I made my own frog feet shoe covers to complete the look and it was like wearing diving flippers I had to walk super funny to keep them up#so they didn’t drag or get bent on the ground bc it was just cardboard and duct tape#I was SO hyper all day I could not stop giggling and dancing and wiggling and jumping#it took until like midnight to wind down enough for sleep#I showered and had a cup of tea and was still giggly#I have not had that feral energy in a long while#im a rambling Sam
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[ID: three digital illustrations based on episodes of the owl house. The first image is based on Understanding Willow and features Amity and Inner Willow. Amity looks at Inner Willow regretfully, holding a hand to her chest, as Inner Willow stands surrounded by pink fire, yelling at Amity with steam coming from her eyes. Lyrics are written crookedly across the background: "I'm not here for your entertainment/your the kinda guy that likes some fun/am I just here for a bit of amusement?/you'll never be my NUMBER 1!!!".
The second image is based off For the Future and features Willow and Hunter. Hunter hugs willow, his face obscured, as she sobs and vines glow green around them both. The lyrics this time are written more neatly in the middle of the image and read "are you bored?/or are you scared?/what happened to secrets we shared?/ Did I say something/? Have I crossed the line?/you know I never meant it/when I said I was FINE!".
The final image is both drawings on one canvas with no lyrics. Each image has a dark blue background. End ID]
Thinks about Willow's repressed emotions and eats glass. Cutely (song is Con Man by The Tuts!)
#the owl house#toh#willow park#amity blight#hunter toh#hunter noceda#(aw i haven't used that one in a while :'))#Understanding Willow#For the Future#i have to go shower so i can't add tag commentary rn all i can tell you is RRRAGH GO LISTEN TO THAT SONG AND GET FEELINGS ABT IT LIKE ME#I'VE WANTED TO MAKE THIS FOR WEEKS AND I FINALLY GOT AROUND TO IT#i wish you could see hunters face but it just didn't work with the proportions so i had to live with that#SAD. ah well there's other blonde boys (<- cruel joke abt grimwalkers)#not about him though. it's about willow#i think (and this is a big maybe) once I'm done my rewatch of s2A (and the frog show cause I'm rewatching that too)#I'm gonna rewatch EVERY willow ep right before ASIAS and then go from there#she's special she deserves it#same way i might rewatch the gus episodes before Labyrinth Runners. it's just a little ritual i have sometimes :]#anyway. oooooh you want to appreciate willows repressed rage and fear and sadness soooo bad#also I'M SORRY IF THE HAND LETTERING IS BAD FONTS JUST LOOKED TO GOOFY. I'M TRYING BARE WITH ME
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there's a very specific kind of vibe that comes with living with your friends in final year that it just does not have in first year or even second year. like as a fresher it's usually the first time any of you have lived away from home let alone with SO MANY people your age and it's terrifying and exciting and randomised to boot so it's generally carnage for a whole year in the best and worst ways, and then second year you pick who you're living with and it feels like for the first time you're doing this adult thing PROPERLY. you have a place of your own now. these are the people you've chosen to live with. studying gets serious etc. but it's still fresh. it's still new. you still don't know how to navigate it. but final year? final year is when you actually get it right. you know how to manage your time better. you know what works for you and what doesn't. studying is the main focus and you've been out in the world for three years now and it's not loud and boisterous like it was in first year and you're not exciteable and awkward like you were in second year. you're comfortable. every single one of my flatmates has their own friend group and we mainly keep to our own social circles, but we'll still meet each other back at the house after a night out and sit in the kitchen or my room to do the debrief. sometimes i'll go days not seeing either of them despite sharing a house but every now and then someone will softly call up the stairs that 'the heating's on!' or one of us will sneeze and the other two will yell 'bless you!' through the walls. the lack of interaction isn't interpreted as dislike in ways it would have been even last year, because we're all just old enough to be past that now and settled enough in our friendship not to worry about it. idk. uni is very loud and unsettling a lot of the time so it's been really sweet to see how almost boringly comfortable final year is.
#like my day today was literally drag myself out of bed at 10am to meet my econ friends bc we're in a group together#and i spent two hours with them writing a fucking TRADE REPORT before coming home#and the rest of the day was kinda lost. i showered. i put a wash on. i had a nap. i mainly stayed in my room#which sometimes is the End Of All Things but today was quite nice#and i can hear in their rooms how my flatmates are doing the exact same thing. pottering about and getting on with uni#and we've barely spoken all day but earlier my one flatmate ran into my room all excited to show me her nails#bc she's been teaching herself to do gels and it took her 2 hours but im still one of the first people she wanted to show#and just now we all went to use the bathroom at the same time and it led to one of our Stair Sessions#where we all inexplicably just gather on the stairs and chat for no reason with a cup of tea#idk it's just nice. it's such basic shit but i can't belive in first year i used to spend EVERY DAY with these girls#and we were one single friendship group and that was all we had#and then in second year one girl branched off bc she lived in a studio and got into her societies#but me and the other girl lived together again and it was the same thing of she was a friend before she was someone i lived with#and weirdly that can actually be detrimental to a dynamic. but this year we're all just very solidified and confident in ourselves#and where we stand and yes we all have our own friendship groups outside of the house now#but there's still that love and simple comfortableness around each other that you only get with time and a hell of a lot of proximity#and a sense of being settled that maybe is just what happens as you get older#idk it's just really nice. if i had this exact same day in first year (doing economics and barely leaving my room)#it would've been a really bad depressive day for me so the fact i can find such contentment from it now is really heartening#i love my little life here im very proud of what ive been able to achieve :)#hella goes to uni#feeling nostalgic because SOME BITCH decided to ribs post
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How its been going if I'm being quite honest
#Sorry this is ooc it's just how I'm feeling#My brain went 'oh? You're in the middle of the worst week of your life? Here's a random character to fixate on until things calm down 👍'#I'm back at the apartment btw#Severe thunderstorms here so they kept us in the air for an extra hour#But yeah I'm sorry I've been inactive and not chatty lately. Just going through a lot right now and it's taking its toll#I'm doing what I can just to keep myself from falling to pieces#On the brightside the paper work went through so she will be seeing the specialists on Monday if all goes well#On the downside I just can't stop crying#I can barely walk as soon as I got in I just collapsed#I barely slept all weekend#This is the first shower I'm taking since Thursday night#Haven't brushed my teeth either#I know I smell like shit I just couldn't be bothered#My hair was matted to my head#I felt bad for everyone at the airport but I just couldn't bear to be away from her longer than absolutely necessary#Cruddy rambles
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this again but remade with npcs that i personally enjoy
#there are a lot of problems with every seat btw but it's all in my own headcanons i've barely shared KJHGFDG#maddox and aatrox are a relatively fine seat i just like them and wanted to put the brothers on a flight together lol#shouldve swapped them with the paul diana seat to cause barry even more problems </3 im too lazy to go fix it#bartender is also a pretty normal seat but you gotta be behind ugo and scorn#puzzler Might be a normal seat but now you have to be in front of them kjgfhg#sb#mine#i love the fact that this got done so fast i knew EXACTLY who was getting in this plane hfkjgh#just got out of the shower and had to make my vision a reality
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he's so real for this
#god i wish that were me#i wanna sleep as a kitty cat#mylittleguys#also hi i am sick and i feel half dead and i can barely eat or drink i am not entirely sure that i am awake right now#so thats what ive been up to the past few days :))))))#ahahahaahahahahahahahaaaaaa wish me luck o7#rly badly wanna draw but ive got a fever and im all shaky and my throat is all stuffy and i havent eaten much bc of it so i cant even rly c#concentrate at anything and i have been wasting away in my bed and i havent showered in too long and its shark week and :(((#im just being put through so many horrors rn 💪😐#when everything bad hits all at once 💪😐#this guys my new bff p sure -> 💪😐#hi sorry bout all that its been piling up :))))c#💪😐#<- for when ur on the verge of a shutdown and/or meltdown
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it finally hit me boys
#im a very internal person and any time my chest was bare in the last two weeks it was usually around nurses and stuff#but i finally got to have a proper shower and could spend some time with it and it hit me#top surgery
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having a serious crush for the first time in a long time is so fucking scary i want to drive into a brick wall
#WHY CANT I STOP THINKING ABOUT HER I CANT EVEN FOCUS ON MY WORK#every single time im doing something i keep thinking of how much more fun it would be if she was there#i think of when we woke up early in the morning and after i showered she gave me a sweater to wear and we walked her dogs together#stopping mid conversation to point out pretty trees and the color of the sky in puddles and the sound of the leaves underfoot#and less than a week later it got too warm so she borrowed one of my goth shirts and was so excited to wear it when we went out dancing#and quickly escaped the men who tried to teach us and we laughed as i spun her the wrong way as i led a dance i barely knew#she pops into my office with a grin on her face to remind me we're running late to class and we walk across campus sharing an umbrella
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Halloween costume hint:
(The stitch marker and the word that describes this colour-pattern of yarn [or fabric] are 2 more hints.)
#i make no guarantees of finishing in time for halloween tho im going thru a lot rn#i DID finish a second pair of Scream yarn socks today tho!!#i just wanted to give my fingers a little break from knitting socks but i have other halloween sock yarn i plan on working on#(november is halloween 2 for me)#but yeah i saw a sample of yarn using this type of seamless cast on (provisional cast on / circular tubular cast on) last night...#...while half asleep and was immediately like Oh. I HAVE to do that costume idea now.#i flubbed the crochet part bc the way i did it made the stitches twisted when i knitted it...#...and i had to pull out every crochet stitch one by one. lol. but at least i know for next time how i gotta crochet it to be open stitches#also i knit backwards (mirrored) so i was surprised i managed to figure out the tutorial on the first go...#...bc the person filming described their actions instead of just showing it so i only needed to listen. it makes a world of difference to me#anyway. now that i got that started i have been shaking in pain all day i gotta try n shower before it gets too late#apparently my new back xrays show that my back does have an issue. but not on the spot thats hurting lmao.#so i get to do an mri and see a back specialist ughhh. also the pharmacy is refusing to fill pain meds for me. it sucks.#AND i finally got a physical therapy appointment.... for the middle of december.... guys i injured my back and#....have been trying to get in to PT since fucking MAY. its OCTOBER.#like fuck my life man i can barely fucking walk. i can barely take care of myself. the pain had been SO bad since i recently reinjured it#so yeah i gotta try n shower before i pass out from the pain.#knitting#Cori.exe#Image.exe#fiber art#horror#halloween#also like this yarn is the closest i could get to colour accuracy that i have in my yarn bin and i only have 1 skein of it which is perfect#bc it means i get to use up probably the whole skein and it makes a difference in the amount of yarn i need to use out of my bin lol#especially bc what other use am i ever going to get out of one skein of yarn? nothing but socks take one skein.#my worst yarn habit is seeing a cool yarn and then buying just one or two skeins. like thats fine for a hat or scarf...#...but i need to learn to knit and crochet more things. id like to make a sweater at least once in my life lmao#((sweater yarn gets so expensive tho bc u need so much. and we're back to me wanting to reduce my yarn stash))#personal
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