#The shower was extremely difficult because it gets cold easily and I barely had time to use soap | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

psychosistr · 4 years ago

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Snow Day

Summary: After a particularly rough day, Domino isn’t in the best mood. Fortunately, Steelbeak knows just the thing to cheer him up- all he needs is a nice day and some of his partner’s favorite weather.

Notes: This was a holiday gift for @thefriendlyfour and I hope you all enjoy it as well ^.^ As always, Domino (as well as Steelbeak’s outfit design) belongs to the ever amazing @thefriendlyfour / @eleanorose123 (though I think Domino’s winter outfit in this one was originally designed by @akysi ), so make sure you go check out their work as well! =^.^=

There were many things to like about the city of St. Canard: Exciting night life. Great views of the bay. A diverse ecosystem in and around the town. Plenty of places to eat, shop, and steal from. A resident super-hero (though that being likable was subjective). A prison with terrible security for easy escape (again, subjective).

The weather, Dominic thought, was decidedly not one of the things to like about St. Canard.

The loon and his partner, Steelbeak, had just endured an all-day mission for FOWL that involved driving all over the city in temperatures just short of freezing. Normally, the red-eyed bird enjoyed colder weather- winter was his favorite season, after all. Today, however, had been that uncomfortable kind of cold where it seemed fine at first but, over time, made you regret not choosing a warmer coat when you left (they’d both made that mistake, and had relied on his car’s heater to thaw themselves out every time they were done at one location) that only got worse when the clouds decided to precipitate just enough for it to be misty but not enough to snow, resulting in the clammy kind of cold that seeped into their clothes and had them shivering every time they stayed outside just a little too long.

Everything culminated in a showdown with Darkwing Duck at the bay where the two top-ranking agents attempted to use FOWL’s newest device, the “PRESSURIZER”, to drain all of the water and use it as an extremely dangerous high-pressure water canon to extort the town’s residents and government for billions. They had been so close to victory…until that infuriating little red headed girl that always trailed along behind the city’s protector used a hockey stick to launch a wrench that Darkwing’s (admittedly attractive) sidekick had on him in an impressive ricochet shot that perfectly hit the “self-destruct” button (Steelbeak would later swear to pay a visit to the scientist responsible for that little feature) on the console right between the two fowls. Had the resulting blast not sent the pair plummeting into Audubon Bay, Dominic would have been inclined to comment on the child making such an impressive and difficult shot so easily.

As it stood, however, he wasn’t in any hurry to congratulate the one responsible for submerging him and his partner in a bay that was one step above freezing.

Once the deadly duo had dragged themselves up from the ocean’s chilling depths, they made a hasty retreat to Dominic’s car and sped off just in time to avoid the police. While they’d avoided any major injuries (bumps, bruises, scrapes, and singed feathers were par for the course when it came to their line of work), the two agents ended the day feeling exhausted, frustrated, soaked to the bone, shivering like they were trying to avoid hypothermia (which may not have been far from the truth). Oh, and let’s not forget the cherry on top of this wonderful day- Dominic’s car now absolutely reeked of sea water from the two having to sit in it without having time to dry off or change their clothes.

By the time they got home, showered, and changed, it was late and neither man was in a particularly good mood. Both of them just wanted a few days to unwind before having to deal with anymore insanity. That wasn’t too much to ask, was it?

Well, apparently it was.

No sooner had the two gotten settled on opposite ends of Steelbeak’s couch, fully intent on relaxing before dinner, than the large screen across the room flickered to life on its own. Dominic held back a frustrated groan and could hear a barely muffled sound of displeasure from the lighter bird across from him.

The images on the screen came into focus and three familiar silhouetted figures appeared on it, the one seated in the middle doing the talking as per usual. “Chief Officer Steelbeak, agent Domino, we have a new mission for you.”

Dominic ignored the muttered “gimme a break” from his right, though he certainly agreed with the sentiment wholeheartedly. “When do we start?”

Both agents groaned internally at their leader’s rather curt reply. “First thing in the morning at 8:00 sharp.”

He went on to explain the details of their mission, but Dominic was only idly absorbing the information (they’d be given proper instructions in the morning). What the loon got from High Command’s summarized description was that the science department had developed some sort of large egg-shaped sun-blocking device that would create a false eclipse. While the citizens of Calisota were panicking over the false eclipse, FOWL would be taking advantage of the chaos to rob multiple high-value targets at once ranging from museums to laboratories.

Apparently this all had to be done tomorrow, as it was the only day of the coming weeks predicted to have a substantial amount of sunlight for the device’s deployment to make a significant impact.

Although Steelbeak seemed just as thrilled (maybe even less so) than his partner, the lighter FOWL managed a convincingly neutral acceptance of their orders. “Sure thing. We’ll be up an’ waitin’ for the call.”

After receiving a similar acknowledgement from Dominic, the screen went dark once more.

With no more eyes on them (at least, they were fairly certain there were none, it was hard to tell sometimes whether or not with that thing..), the chief officer and his partner finally vocalized their displeasure- Dominic with a frustrated sigh and Steelbeak with an irritated groan.

“No rest for the wicked, it seems.” The loon shook his head, not bothering to hide his scowl anymore. “You’d think we’d get at least ONE day off after what they just put us through…”

Steelbeak rolled his eyes, his scowl matching the darker bird’s. “That’s the problem with those ‘workin’ behind the shadow’ types- they get t’ sit around all day tellin’ everyone else what t’ do an’ forget how exhaustin’ it is bein’ a field agent……like t’ see ‘em try runnin’ ‘round all day an’ deal with stupid heroes shootin’ junk at ‘em…” The last sentence was muttered disdainfully, but was certainly not lost on the other man.

“Now that is something I’d pay to see.” Dominic sighed, leaning back on the couch and closing his eyes. Might as well relax while he could, seeing as he’d have to head straight to bed after dinner to make sure he had enough energy for tomorrow. “That or some bad weather…I’d actually pay for it if it meant having a day off.”

With his own eyes closed, the loon missed the look of realization that appeared in the lighter fowl’s dark eyes….and the devious smirk that soon followed…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A loud, rather irritating ringing woke Dominic up from his slumber. Rolling onto his side with one red eye barely open to peer at his bedside clock and the covered window across the room, he was further irritated by the fact that it was too early for his alarm to go off- it was only half past five and he’d been hoping to rest until at least seven. The ringing, he soon realized, was coming from his phone rather than his alarm clock.

While he was very tempted to simply ignore whoever thought it was okay to call him before the sun was even starting to rise, the half-awake loon recognized the ring tone and, resignedly, answered it.

Just because he deemed the one calling him worthy of being answered, however, didn’t mean he was pleased by the literal wake-up call. “Steelbeak..you have five seconds to convince me not to go next door and smother you to death with one of your tacky pillows..”

That distinctive laugh could be heard through the receiver, sounding far more awake than anyone had any business being at this time of day. “Well, good mornin’ t’ you too, sunshine.” Before Dominic had a chance to protest the mocking nickname or threaten to hang up, the much more awake fowl continued speaking, this time in a slightly more serious tone. “Get up an’ get dressed, we’re leavin’ in fifteen. Don’t worry ‘bout breakfast, I’ve got ya covered.”

Well that certainly helped wake him up. Rubbing his eyes with his free hand, Dominic sat up and stretched his legs to help get his body on the same page as his mind. “What happened? Did High Command call and change the time?”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, it’s not that big of a deal. Just get dressed an’ meet me in the hall.” Just before he hung up, Steelbeak added one more thing as an afterthought. “Oh, an’ wear somethin’ warm- warmest ya got.”

Looking down at the phone in his hand once the dial tone began to play, Dominic was left with more questions than answers. Had the temperature gone down further since yesterday? Had something come up that changed High Command’s plans? Why was Steelbeak so awake and aware of what was going on?

Despite the many questions floating through his now-awake brain, Dominic did as his partner instructed and got ready for the day. Once his feathers were straightened properly, the loon opened his closet and moved aside his usual outfits for a much warmer one that he typically reserved for the coldest time of the year: A white coat with both light and dark blue accents, a belt-like clasp, a blue and white snowflake emblem on the bottom above the fluffy white trim, and even kept the aesthetic of his usual outfit by placing white buttons in a domino-like pattern over the blue squares of fabric on his torso. The coat had matching white gloves, blue and white boots, a white scarf with a snowflake emblem like the one on the bottom of his coat that was currently tucked into his collar to help him stay warm, and a white pork-pie style hat (he would never understand why people named clothing styles such ridiculous things, but the hat was comfortable) with a light blue hat band and two blue dots to match the coat’s motif.

By the time he left his apartment, Steelbeak was waiting in the hall for him with two thermoses of coffee. The taller man was also dressed in a different outfit than usual, but sharp red eyes could still see the edge of a white sleeve under the hem of the rooster’s long dark red coat that was zipped up all the way to the top, the brown fur-lined hood resting on his shoulders. While his pants were black like usual, they were thicker and reminded the loon of ski pants. The black gloves and dark red sunburst style boots (again, who chooses these names?) lined with fur that matched his hood completed the look.

Holding out one thermos for the darker bird to take, Steelbeak took a sip of coffee from his own and gave his partner a knowing grin. “Took ya long enough. C’mon, we gotta get goin’ ‘fore it gets too late.”

Dominic gladly took the thermos and its energy-granting contents, pleased as always to find it prepared exactly how he liked it- today’s batch even had traces of peppermint, which brought a small smile to the loon’s dark beak before he followed the rooster to the elevator at the end of the hallway. “Too late for what, exactly? The sun shouldn’t be up for another two hours.” He still had plenty of questions that had yet to be answered.

“Exactly.” A black-gloved finger pressed the button for the elevator, its owner smiling over the minor victory of the doors opening immediately rather than having to wait for them. “That’s why we gotta be back before then in case High Command calls.”

“Wait..” Dominic followed the taller man into the elevator, but made his confusion over their early departure transparently clear. “If High Command hasn’t called yet, then why are we leaving?”

The loon’s answer was that same knowing grin from before- the one that both frustrated him for being out of the loop regarding whatever was going on but also intrigued him because Steelbeak didn’t normally keep secrets (at least, not from HIM) for very long and usually shared whatever juicy bit of information or despicable plan was rattling around in his devious brain. “All you need t’ know is that it’s VERY important an’ you’re gonna be glad we left early. Trust me.” Well THAT just left the shorter bird with even MORE questions. Unfortunately, any further inquiries were put on hold once the elevator doors opened again and the duo stepped out into the parking garage. “We’re takin’ my car ‘til yours stops smellin’ like a mermaid’s bedroom.”

Dominic had no problems with that and willingly followed the other fowl to his overly flashy car- he wasn’t really in the mood to drive and probably wouldn’t be until he’d gotten through his first coffee. “Do I even want to ask how you know what that would smell like?”

“I’ve been ‘round the block a few times. Let’s just hope we don’t get any missions in the south pacific anytime soon.” Steelbeak’s chuckle made it hard to tell if he was joking or not, a typical part of his sense of humor that Dominic had gotten used to over the past five months of their relationship. He made a mental note to ask about the alleged mermaid encounter another time while the two of them got settled into their seats. “Put this on.”

Looking up from buckling his seatbelt, red eyes widened in mild disbelief when he saw the fabric being presented to him. “A blindfold?” Thinking he’d perhaps jumped to conclusions too soon, Dominic looked over the long strip of black silk with a gaudy pink heart pattern once again, but, no, it was definitely a blindfold, albeit a rather tacky one that made half of his mind want to ask why the other man had something like that in his possession…and the other half had a feeling it already knew... “Why-”

“I’m aductin’ ya.” The taller fowl jokingly said with that infuriatingly intriguing grin. “But you’re gonna love it, trust me.”

Red eyes rolled in feigned annoyance as Dominic took the blindfold with his free hand, but didn’t make any moves to put it on just yet. “And why, exactly, should I ‘trust you’ and impair my vision after you’ve admitted to abducting me?”

“ ‘cause you’d still kick my butt, even if ya couldn’t see it.” Well, yes, that was definitely true…and this was Steelbeak he was dealing with- the man hadn’t given him any reason not to trust him sine they’d started going out…

……

…………

“….Fine..” Setting his coffee down momentarily, Dominic tied the tacky silk over his eyes and leaned back in the passenger’s seat once he had the thermos back in his hands. “If you try anything, you’re hand is going straight into the bay…without the rest of you going in after it.”

Though he could no longer see it, the loon could easily hear the smirk in the metal-mouthed fowl’s voice as the car rumbled to life around him. “Wouldn’t dream of it, short-fuse.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was hard to tell how long they’d been driving with his vision obstructed, but Dominic had finished his coffee by the time he felt the car shut off. “Can I take this ridiculous thing off yet?”

There was a beat of silence, as if the vehicle’s other occupant was giving the question serious thought. “Hmmm…yeah, I guess so..” Before the white gloved fingers could start on the knot, however, an addendum was added to the previous comment. “But don’t open your eyes.”

Even with his eyes covered, Dominic hoped that the glare he was sending the other bird’s direction would still be noticeable. “I hope you know my patience is wearing thin. You’d better have a good reason for waking me up before dawn, dragging me out of bed, and taking me on a joyride without giving me ANY-”

“I’ve got a good reason. I promise.” Steelbeak’s voice was resolute. His tone betrayed no signs of mischief or ill intent, not that Dominic really expected there to be any, but it was still somewhat reassuring to hear it, anyway... “You’re just..gonna have t’ trust me on this one, Deedee.”

Dominic was prepared to argue the point, or simply take the blindfold off and be done with the whole charade (yesterday’s disasters combined with his unexpected awakening didn’t have him in the best of moods)……but that pause in Steelbeak’s last sentence gave him pause, as well.

The larger man didn’t sound as confident as he had leading up to this point. He sounded almost…hesitant? Uncertain? It was hard to say. Either way, it sounded more like he was asking for Dominic to trust him, rather than demanding it, but it was almost as if he wasn’t sure he’d be given such a thing…

“……” Taking in a very slow, deliberate breath before exhaling it in equal measure, the white gloved fingers finally began their task of untying the blindfold. “Fine.” Once the silk was gone, red eyes remained firmly shut. “But my earlier statement still stands.”

He heard a brief chuckle, but this one sounded relieved rather than amused. “Don’t worry, you’ll like this, I promise.” The car door on his left opened and shut, followed by a minute of silence before his own door opened. He felt a light tug on the blindfold still being clutched in his hand. “This way.”

Dominic followed his partner’s lead out of the vehicle, hearing the door close behind him once he was far enough away. He heard a brief click afterwards, as if something had been opened, but couldn’t tell what it was. As he was lead further away from the car, he noticed an odd sound and sensation below his boots- the ground beneath him was…crunchy? That was the only way he could think to describe it- crunchy in sound and loose in texture. “Where exactly are we?” He thought for a moment they were at the beach, but the sand there wouldn’t make this sort of noise. It…kind of felt like-

There was a creaking sound, like something heavy and metallic being pushed open. “Why don’t ya open up those pretty red eyes of yours an’ see for yourself?”

Taking the other man’s advice and doing so, Dominic’s red eyes finally opened for the first time since he’d gotten into the car with his partner, and what he saw momentarily took his breath away before it was exhaled in a visible puff.

The two fowls were standing just inside the gates of the very same park they went to during their first date. While it was still dark out with only the dim lighting of the street lamps providing any visibility, there was one very noticeable difference this time:

Snow.

Every inch of the park- and the city as a whole, it seemed- was covered in a thick blanket of snow. The park’s grassy fields had been completely buried under the fluffy white precipitation, as had the walking trails and sidewalks in and around the park. The trees and other shrubbery resembled cotton balls with how thoroughly their foliage had been coated, and in the distance Dominic could even see that the lake had frozen over. There were already so many of the beautifully cold flakes scattered about, and even more still falling from the thick, dark clouds above that showed no signs of stopping anytime soon.

Curious as to how he hadn’t felt the falling snow sooner, the loon’s red eyes drifted up and finally took notice of the large black and white striped umbrella above him. Looking back over his shoulder, he saw his partner watching him with an amused yet fond smile while holding the umbrella with his free hand.

The expression brought a slight flush to the darker bird’s cheeks that, even if it were noticeable, he’d blame on the cold if he was ever called out for it. “H-How-” He had even more questions now than before he’d gotten in the car, and, downplaying the slight stutter to his speech by clearing his throat and pretending it was just a dry throat from the cold air, he was intent on finally receiving some answers. “How is this possible? The reports all said it was supposed to be sunny today.”

Steelbeak shrugged one shoulder, the grin on his gleaming beak betraying the words that left it. “Y’know how unpredictable the weather is ‘round here…‘specially with all the supervillains runnin’ ‘round changin’ things just ‘cause they feel like it.” Apparently deciding the umbrella was no longer needed after the big reveal of his surprise, Steelbeak closed it and set it by the park gate. “Or, y’know, if someone offers ‘em a few million big ones t’ start a snowstorm and ‘suggests’ a few choice places t’ hit up an’ keep any annoyin’ superheroes busy.”

Dominic followed the lighter bird as he ventured deeper into the park, giving him a curious look accompanied by a quirked brow. “If you made all of this happen, then why was it so important to get out here this early? We could’ve waited until the sun was up.”

Hands now resting comfortably in the pockets of his coat, Steelbeak gave another calm shrug. “I dunno ‘bout you, but I don’t exactly trust the ‘freaky four’ t’ practice things like restraint.” Dark eyes glanced up at the thick clouds and the still plentiful amount of snow falling down on the city below. “At the rate this stuff’s fallin’, I figure we got about three hours before the snow drifts get taller than you…short fuse.” He side-eyed the loon with a smirk. Red eyes rolled as Dominic shook his head, choosing to ignore the jab at his height compared to his monumentally tall partner. (Honestly, though, who didn’t seem short compared to him?) “And..” The loon’s attention returned to the other fowl when he heard the slightly softer, less sef-assured tone in Steelbeak’s voice. Steelbeak was glancing away now, a bit of red visible beneath his off-white cheek feathers. “I..know ya love this stuff…figured you’d wanna come out an’ have some fun before the whole town gets snowed in…plus there’d be no one out this early, less people around an’ all that…”

It was once again Dominic’s turn to blush. Any irritation he’d felt from his unplanned awakening was forgotten almost instantly. Now that he had a chance to look at- really look at- his partner, he noticed the things he’d missed earlier in the chaotic whirlwind of events leading up to this point: His feathers had clearly not been preened since his shower the previous night. His comb wasn’t standing up quite as straight as it usually did. His eyes were bloodshot, albeit only slightly- he must’ve taken eye drops at some point to hide it. His eyes also had dark circles under them that indicated-

“You didn’t sleep last night.” Although the red-eyed fowl was truly touched by how much thought Steelbeak put into all of this, he still couldn’t help but ask- “Why?” He elaborated further when he was met with a confused look from the taller bird. “Why go to all this trouble?”

The question made a grin appear once more on the metal-mouthed rooster’s beak. “C’mon, stripes, between the two of us, YOU’RE the one that actually WENT t’ school.” He chuckled, the grin on his face practically beaming. “Thought you’d know what a ‘snow day’ was.”

“A..snow day?” Wow, that was a term Dominic hadn’t heard since his school days.

“Ding, ding! Startin’ t’ ring any bells yet, wise guy?” Steelbeak teased as the pair walked over the park’s snowy trail (or at least what one could assume to be since it was slightly lower than the ground around it). Once he’d had his laugh, though, the rooster’s grin softened into something calmer. “High Command needed a sunny day t’ make their plan work- no sun, no stupid eight AM mission, so we get the day off. Plus, even if High Command decides they wanna try somethin’ else, they’re gonna need time t’ come up with a new plan an’ send a helicopter t’ pick us up since the streets’ll be too buried t’ drive by then, so we get plenty of time t’ relax an’ enjoy breakfast when we get back.” One dark gray eye winked down at the loon playfully. “Sounds like a win-win, if ya ask me.”

Darn, that grin was infectious. “A win-win indeed.” Dominic’s own dark beak soon lit up with a smile as he nodded in wholehearted agreement. He had to give credit where it was due- that was a very well thought out and expertly executed plan. “I have to say, I’m impressed you came up with all of this so quickly.”

“Hey, I didn’t get t’ be Chief Officer just ‘cause of my good looks- there’s a pretty big brain behind this gorgeous mug.” Ah, and there was that cocky grin and wink followed by the exaggeratedly “flirtatious” eyebrow wiggle that never failed to make the loon laugh.

“I’ll have to keep that in mind.” Dominic wasn’t sure how, but he managed to get the whole sentence out with only a few quiet, barely restrained chuckles slipping in. If there was one thing that Steelbeak knew how to do, it was make his partner smile and laugh and feel a hundred times lighter than he had before.

After the misery of the previous day, Dominic decided, he’d gladly take this much more pleasant alternative.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The deadly duo spent a while simply walking around and admiring the fresh-fallen, undisturbed beauty of the snow covered park. It felt so much like their first date- the two of them just walking around, conversing freely, enjoying one another’s company without anyone around to bother them; he’d even talked Steelbeak into ice skating with him over the frozen lake and was pleased to see that the rooster’s balance had improved considerably, only needing to be helped up a handful of times.

While it felt similar, though, it also felt like a completely different experience altogether. Back then, they’d still been getting to know each other, getting used to one another. Now, they were still learning things about each other, but there was a greater feeling of familiarity, as well as a sense of comfort that came from that familiarity. There were still boundaries they were discovering and learning how to work around, but it was leaps and bounds from where they were before that night almost half a year ago.

As he passed beneath a tree off of the park trail, Dominic’s musing on his relationship with his partner was stopped by a sudden clump of snow falling onto his hat.

He tipped his head back, looking up at the glistening branches curiously and allowing the frozen flakes still resting on his hat to fall off. Well, the tree WAS heavily coated with snow and ice, a stray breeze could have-

Another clump of snow, this one rounder and more firmly packed, descended at a slight curve- as if it had been thrown from somewhere behind him- towards him and hit the surprised loon in the face before he had time to move away. “!!” Brushing the snow from his eyes, he looked back over his shoulder at the only other person in the park. “I saw that..”

Steelbeak, who’d stopped a few feet away from the tree to kneel down and adjust one of his boots, gave the loon a slightly raised brow and his best attempt at an earnestly confused expression. “Saw what?” His attempt at faking innocence would have been much more effective if it wasn’t clear that he was holding back a smile and that one of his gloves still had snow on it.

Oh, so he wanted to play games, huh? Fine. Dominic could play, too. “Nevermind…must have been my imagination…”

Stepping closer to the tree, one of the loon’s hands was freed from its glove- his back to the rooster as he walked around the base to keep it out of his sight. After slipping the glove into his pocket, his still-gloved fingers trailed along the snow-covered tree. From an outside perspective, it would look like he was idly tracing simple patterns into the powdery snow of the trunk. In reality, however, he was readying his ammunition. By the time there was enough snow accumulated in his covered palm, Dominic had reached the other side of the tree and was able to quickly transfer it into his other hand without being noticed. A quick packing between both hands and the sharpshooter had his weapon locked and loaded.

When he suddenly made a sharp turn and jumped back out the way he came, Dominic was not at all surprised to see Steelbeak waiting with another sizable clump of snow in his hands, clearly prepared to throw it at the other side of the large tree with his hands raised over his head.

Steelbeak, on the other hand, was very surprised to see the loon doubling back and catching him in the act. So surprised, in fact, that he didn’t have time to dodge the snowball that was sent hurtling towards him. “!!!” The snowball found its target’s face, causing said target to let out a startled squawk from literally going snow-blind. The whole ordeal made his hands move just enough to turn his own weapon against him, the clump of snow that was once above him now falling all over his head and torso. “Hey, no fair! Cheap shot!”

Dominic smirked at the prone rooster, quickly forming more ammunition and ducking behind the tree for cover while his “enemy” was busy shaking and wiping snow off of himself. “I was merely returning the favor- now we’re even.”

With his vision restored and most of the snow removed, Steelbeak smirked as well and readied another oversized snowball. “Well, it ain’t gonna stay that way for long.”

And with that, the war had begun. The entire park quickly became a battleground as two expertly trained secret agents crafted and launched their handmade weapons at one another.

Dominic had the clear advantage- snow was his favorite weather and he was truly in his element. The aquatic fowl was able to quickly craft practically perfect spheres from the terrain around him and throw them with pin-point accuracy. The tree he’d stationed himself behind made for good cover between shots, allowing him to safely stockpile ammunition and retreat when he was under heavy fire. From time to time, he’d dart out and weave between the surrounding foliage to fire off multiple shots and even slid across the lake a few times to stay ahead of his adversary.

Steelbeak, on the other hand, was clearly not as used to interacting with the frozen liquids he attempted to wield. The metal mouthed fowl didn’t have the finesse (or apparently the knowledge to take off his gloves and use the heat of his hands to melt the dry flakes) to craft small snowballs, and instead scooped up large quantities of the loose powder and form what could only be described as “snow cannonballs”. These larger projectiles took more time to make and weren’t as precise as his quick-footed and quick-witted rival’s smaller spheres, but they were capable of devastating damage when they managed to hit and knocked the slippery sharpshooter off of his feet more than once.

The battle raged for longer than either combatant cared to keep track of, the once pristine park now full of holes and gashes from their wintery war. The two snow covered fowls laughed and shot comebacks at one another along with their projectiles. It was certainly a sight to behold- a duo of deadly spies who carried out assassinations and mass slaughters of enemies on a regular basis now using their battle skills and instincts to throw balls of snow at each other with the excitement of school children. If anyone from work- be it an eggman, fellow agent, or Darkwing Duck himself- were to see the well-known chief officer of FOWL and his normally stern, red-eyed-glare wielding partner and tell others what they’d witnessed, chances were that no one would ever believe them.

Dominic himself could hardly believe it, but he was having far too much fun to stop. Retreating back to the trunk of his chosen shelter, the loon managed to hit Steelbeak’s large and vibrant tail feathers with his last snowball before working rapidly to replenish his supply.

“Yeow!” Steelbeak yelped from the packed precipitation striking his perfectly plumaged posterior. “Ohh, you’re gonna get it for that one!”

From his hiding spot, Dominic could hear the larger bird making another of his plus-sized snowballs. “We’ll see about that!” He parroted the other man’s earlier words over his shoulder while topping off his ammo cache. Confident he could dodge whatever size the lighter fowl’s newest snow monstrosity happened to be, Dominic left his makeshift fort and prepared to fire off his more manageable artillery.

His confidence was immediately shaken by the small-boulder sized chunk of snow hitting his face with enough force to send him toppling into a deep snow bank.

It took a minute for Dominic’s world to stop spinning, and a few more seconds for his senses to return enough to realize that the hazy white blur he saw was snow piled around his head and (thankfully) not spotty vision caused by a concussion. As he sat up, the loon shook the snow off of himself, needing to retrieve his nearly camouflaged hat from the white mound.

His attention was soon stolen, however, by the menacing shadow that was cast over him. Looking up, red eyes widened at the sight of his opponent holding an absolutely MASSIVE chunk of snow even larger than the last one over his head with a smirk. “Any last words, wise guy?”

Hands planting themselves against the ground behind him in preparation to run or fight back, Dominic’s gaze darted rapidly around his surroundings. There had to be a way out of this!

Then, he found it- his bare hand touching something textured and rough hidden within the snow. Looking back up at the tree above them, a plan at last formed in the clever fowl’s fiendish mind. He’d only have one shot at this…

Gripping the object he’d found, Dominic smirked while making eye contact with the unaware rooster. “Yes…but would it be in bad taste to say ‘freeze’?” Without any further explanation, the loon’s bare hand emerged from its hiding place in the snow to briefly reveal the stick it was clutching before throwing it at a sharp angle that just barely missed the other fowl’s head.

“What the-?!” Steelbeak, at first thinking the projectile was meant for him, instinctively ducked to avoid it, nearly dropping the colossal cold-ball clutched in his hands. Thinking himself safe, he smirked back down at the presumed-defenseless loon beneath him. “Your aim’s slippin’, Deedee- ya missed.”

“Oh, I don’t miss.” The darker bird replied with a wicked smirk before putting his weight back onto his arms and rolling the extra foot he needed to avoid what was about to happen.

Following the other man’s red-eyed gaze up to the tree he was still standing beneath, Steelbeak’s own dark eyes widened at the sight of the stick Dominic had thrown striking the completely-snow-covered top of the tree. By now, there was so much of the frozen precipitation accumulated on its branches that it looked nearly twice its normal size. This made the realization of what was about to happen all the more chilling- in more than just the literal sense.

“Hmph…well played, stripes..” Was all Steelbeak could get out before the domino effect came into play. The disturbed snow on top of the tree fell, falling into and shaking the snow on the next branch. This pattern cascaded down through every level of the tree, resulting in a miniature avalanche that left the large fowl buried under an even larger mound of snow before he had time to run away.

The backdraft of air and snow was strong enough that Dominic had to shield his eyes with his gloved hand, holding onto his hat with the other to keep it from blowing away. Peeking out once the air had settled, a pleased smirk found its way to the loon’s beak as he observed his handiwork: The entire base of the tree and a good portion of the trunk were now buried in snow. Where his opponent once stood was crumpled lump in the mound of white flakes with no sign he was alive other than the single black-gloved hand sticking straight up like a flag- one of surrender, the loon mused jokingly.

Deciding it would be best for everyone if the taller man didn’t catch hypothermia or pneumonia, Dominic figured it would be best to show mercy for once and dig his fallen adversary out of his precipitated prison. Dawning his second glove once again, white-covered hands made short work of shoveling the equally white powder away from the lump beneath the extended black glove. After a minute or two, he found a gleaming metal beak within the snow, and soon the rest of the head attached to it became visible.

Dark grey eyes blinked the world into focus as their owner looked up dramatically. “Wow, think I finally found the light at the end of the tunnel.” The same eyes glanced over at his rescuer, the corner of his mouth lifting into a small smirk. “Gotta say, you’re not quite what I expected an angel t’ look like……but I ain’t complainin’.”

Dominic returned the look in kind and winked down at the still partially buried man beneath him. “Keep it up and I’ll send you to heaven my way.” A quiet laugh shook the smaller bird’s shoulders as he shook his head with an undeniably fond smile. “While I do admire your ability to flirt while half frozen, frostbite isn’t exactly charming- let’s get you out of there, shall we?”

With a quiet chuckle of his own, Steelbeak started sitting up to extricate himself from his icy prison. “Yeah, probably for the best..think I feel my tail feathers freezin’ o-” He froze (not literally for now), eyes blinking in surprise as they looked from the loon’s face down to his own hand that was still sticking out of the snow.

Clasped firmly around the rooster’s large black-gloved hand was a smaller one clad in white.

Dominic knew what the other’s look was about and why the normally talkative man had gone uncharacteristically silent. “It’s fine.” He offered with a small but reassuring smile before digging his heels into the snow and pulling the other man back up onto his feet.

Once he was back to his usual towering six and half foot (seven if his comb was counted) height, Steelbeak looked down at the hand still clasped around his own with an expression somewhere between elated and nervous. “So…am I ‘bout t’ go swimmin’ in the bay after that..?”

Dominic shook his head, giving the larger palm in his own a light squeeze for reassurance. “Not this time. I want to keep it around for now.”

The nervousness left the lighter fowl’s expression, leaving him with a smile that tried its best to look calm but was undermined by the excited gleam in his dark eyes. “Keep it for as long as ya want, red eyes.”

“I think I’ll take you up on that offer.” The loon gave a softer smile, two sets of fingers in contrasting colors lacing and locking together as if it were their natural state.

Steelbeak, as well as many other individuals within FOWL, were well aware of Dominic’s “quirk”, as High Command liked to call it. After witnessing the loon lose it more than once on some poor, unsuspecting fool that made the innocent mistake of putting their hand on the touch-triggered bird the wrong way, the chief officer had made it a mental priority to always be mindful of his partner’s contact-based aggression and avoid touching him without warning, even after they’d started dating. He never made any “moves” on the darker fowl like he would with the girls he’d “dated” in the past- no sneaky arm finding its way around an unaware shoulder or waist, no sudden brush of fingers along the side of a striped neck, or even a suave attempt to steal a kiss. The rooster had a front-row seat to multiple showings of what the shorter man could do when someone didn’t properly respect his personal space, and he was determined to never be anything more than an observer if he could help it. He’d only taken what he was given and never even made a move to hold the aquatic avian’s hand.

While Dominic was definitely grateful for Steelbeak’s cautious-patience and respect for his boundaries, he felt the taller man fretted a bit too much about it from time to time. They’d been together for months now, seen each other through countless moments both life-threateningly dangerous and calmingly domestic. At this point, out of everyone in his life, his partner was the one person he felt the most confident that he wouldn’t hurt with one of his violent outbursts.

The discomfort would always be there in the back of his mind, Dominic knew this from the time he’d spent with his last partner and the others he’d dated before, but it was worth it for the warm feeling that bloomed within him. The contact was diluted by both of their gloves, allowing him to feel and familiarize himself with the sensation of Steelbeak’s palm and fingers against his own without letting the discomfort build up too much. He knew he would want more soon, and he could tell from the longing looks he’d caught when the rooster let his guard down from time to time that Steelbeak wanted it as well, but, right here, right now, it was enough for both of them to stand in the snow together with their fingers entwined.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The pair of snow-covered agents arrived back home just in the nick of time, giving themselves about fifteen minutes to change out of their winter attire, rid themselves of any traces of their pre-dawn excursion, and throw their usual coats on over top of more casual clothes to give off the image of readiness. They staged themselves in Steelbeak’s living room, acting like they were about to leave just in time for the communication screen to turn itself on.

“Chief Officer Steelbeak, Agent Domino.” The usual speaking member of High Command looked less than pleased. “There’s been a change of plans.”

Dominic, doing an excellent job of feigning ignorance, looked at his leader with a confused expression, one brow raised inquisitively. “Why? Did something happen to the device?” From the corner of his eye, he caught Steelbeak trying not to smirk and barely succeeding.

The silhouetted person shook his head with a scowl. “The Fearsome Four decided to bury the entire state in a snow storm. The mission is cancelled for now, but be ready in case the weather changes.”

Receiving a “Yes, sir” from both agents, the screen went dark once more.

Steelbeak gave his partner a knowing smirk. “Somethin’ tells me this storm ain’t stoppin’ for a while. How ‘bout we get nice an’ comfy ‘til then?”

Dominic gave a knowing smirk of his own. “Of course- we’ll need to save our strength for when it clears.”

There was a beat of silence before both of their expressions melted into amused grins and they laughed quietly over their flawless performance. The pair took off their coats and hung them on Steelbeak’s coat rack to enjoy their more comfortable attire- Dominic wearing a soft red turtleneck sweater and Steelbeak sporting a light grey long-sleeved Henley style shirt (again, who gets payed to pick these names?) with dark blue trim and a pair of slightly darker grey sweatpants.

Within half an hour they’d lit a fire in Steelbeak’s fireplace- Dominic withheld his remarks about how unnecessarily extravagant it was to have a fireplace in an apartment complex with fully functioning heat since, begrudgingly, he had to admit it was appropriately cozy on a day like this- and the loon was seated patiently in the same spot as last night while his partner brought him a more substantial breakfast than his earlier coffee.

As he waited, Dominic brought the tall mug in his hands to his lips and took a sip with a pleased hum. While it didn’t have the same kick as his previous drink, he wasn’t about to complain about the creamy hot chocolate Steelbeak had prepared for him- the kind made by pouring hot milk and cream over chocolate until it melted, not “that watered down powdered garbage” as the rooster would put it- especially not when he’d made him a peppermint one with red striped marshmallows. There were even bits of crushed candy cane coating the rim and a pair of full sized candy canes hanging from the edge. Picking one up by its crook, the content loon used the candy to briefly stir his drink and melt into it before popping it into his mouth and happily eating the remains.

Dominic had once mentioned to Steelbeak that candy canes were a preferred treat during winter when they’d been having a conversation about comfort food. The peppermint sticks were a childhood favorite- a preference that was quite fortunate since many places gave the sweet treats out for free once the “holiday spirit” began to spread, making it an easy to obtain a bit of food when his mother was unable to provide more than the bare minimum needed for the two of them to survive. His love for the striped sweets continued into adulthood, giving him a fondness for the simple candy whenever the season came about.

That bit of information had only been shared between the two once, but it was apparently enough for Steelbeak to plan ahead and keep a box of candy canes handy in his large pantry. He’d never admit he went out and purchased them simply because his partner liked them, though, even if he himself wasn’t as big of a fan of peppermint (that little prank on their first date probably didn’t help much).

This, Dominic had realized some time ago, was something Steelbeak did often- holding onto small, seemingly inconsequential bits of information and using them to surprise his partner later. Dominic mentions his favorite color while they’re making fun of a ridiculous fashion model show? He receives a new shirt in that color a few weeks later. Dominic makes a disgusted face and shudders upon seeing a cockroach while they’re in a warehouse? Steelbeak suddenly starts killing or removing any insects he sees when they’re together. Dominic mentions on their first date that he enjoys snow and ice skating? His partner pays supervillains to alter the weather and takes him out early to enjoy it properly.

It may have been an instinct developed after spending nearly two decades as a spy- information had value in their line of work, after all- or it may have simply been a trait unique to Steelbeak himself. Either way, Dominic found it extremely endearing and was grateful for his partner’s memory and small acts of care & consideration.

A plate fresh cinnamon rolls and blueberries being set on the coffee table in front of him brought Dominic’s gaze up to look at the very man who’d been occupying his thoughts.

Steelbeak, balancing a matching plate in one hand and a large mug of hot chocolate in the other, winked down at the loon as he set his own breakfast on the table near his end of the couch. “Told ya I had breakfast taken care of, Dom.”

“A good thing you did, too- I’m famished.” Dominic set his mug on the table and exchanged it for one of the enticingly large rolls on his plate. “I’ll pay you back by taking care of lunch.”

Steelbeak chuckled, knowing he wouldn’t win if he tried to argue. “Fine. But we split the difference at dinner. Deal?”

“Deal.” Dominic agreed with a quiet chuckle of his own before digging into his roll.

The pair sat and ate in comfortable silence for a while, enjoying their sweet treats and warm drinks in front of the crackling fire. Once they were finished, Dominic volunteered to take care of the dishes, despite Steelbeak’s adamant insistence that he didn’t need to- again, though, he knew he wouldn’t win once the other man stated he was going to take care of it.

When Dominic returned to the living room, he was surprised to see Steelbeak had wrapped himself in a large, heavily padded quilt in the time he’d been away. “Still feeling cold?”

“Kinda..” Steelbeak yawned and pulled the blanket tighter around himself, his legs drawn up under it as he sat curled up on the couch. “That an’ my adrenaline an’ coffee finally ran out…” Off-white fingers rubbed at extremely tired dark gray eyes. “Think I’m gonna be outta commission ‘til lunch…won’t hold it against ya if ya head back t’ your place.”

Dominic considered it for a moment, but eventually shook his head and picked up a book he’d left on one of Steelbeak’s end tables during his last visit. “I think I’ll stay.”

Steelbeak shrugged, settling in for a much needed nap. “Suit yourself, stripes..” His eyes were nearly closed when a weight against his side made them flutter open once more. “Hm..?”

Rather than take his usual spot at the opposite end of the couch, Dominic had opted to sit right next to Steelbeak- to the point where he was sitting sideways with his head reclined against the rooster’s blanket-covered shoulder and his legs were spread out over the empty cushions.

“Just getting comfortable.” Was the only explanation he needed to give.

Both men had soft, content smiles on their faces as they settled in for some much needed relaxation. They intended to enjoy their snow day as much as possible by doing as little as possible. After all, with this city’s unpredictable weather, who’s to say when they’ll get another chance?

Then again, Dominic thought as he opened his book to its marked page, perhaps the weather in St Canard wasn’t that bad.

End Notes: Hope you all enjoyed this wintery fun filled fic and have a happy holiday season =^.^=

#darkwing duck #dwd #Steelbeak #Dominic Domino #steeldomino #darkwing duck oc #dwd oc #not my oc #thefriendlyfour

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lukasthemedic · 3 years ago

Text

Property Brothers Fic

Original posting date - 2016 A03 works

Renovation Hell

Chapter 1

Jonathan gently rubs his fingers against his temples, leaning down on the counter above his barely touched chicken and fruit salad. His hands and arms are covered in particles from this current reno, his legs ache to the point he can barely stand it. Actually, all of him aches. He's been working so hard, so many late nights into early mornings. The unbelievable requests of these homeowners, more additions the further into the already crunched timeline they gave him. Barking orders, stalling the installation of most of the lower level of the house still. He is generally pretty calm, easy going. But he can barely continue to take the filming with this couple.

Jonathan's phone rings, a vivid reminder that he isn't off work, even when he is. "Hey, this is Jonathan." He says as professionally as he can manage into the speaker, keeping one hand leaning against his now throbbing head. He already knows who it is before he even gets an answer back on the staticky other end. "Yeah, I know it looks like it's not coming together as quickly as you had wanted it, but I can assure you--" He's cut off by more hasty, obnoxious comments being spewed from the other line of the husband and wife duo.

The door creaks open quickly and Drew is careful to shut it quietly, with ease. He knows how difficult this renovation has been on Jonathan, how much work he has had to put into it. How much work it has been on all of them, the whole crew.

"I understand, and I know that you'll be the ones living in the house, seeing it for the rest of your lives. But I can assure you, I am going to make the deadline and ensure all of your requests have been met. How about I bring over some new options for the kitchen backsplash and countertops tomorrow morning and you can meet me there and take a look." He blankly explains, as calmly as possible. He gently taps his fingers against his fork, regretting the portion of his salad he already consumed. The insults and stabbing remarks about his work make his stomach turn. He's hates this aspect of trying to be a helpful person to everyone. He should have known, this evening like all the rest, wouldn't come without an interrupting, hellish phone call.

Drew takes a sharp, shaky breathe and makes his way towards his twin, careful to keep himself quiet when he grabs wine glasses and pours them both extremely large servings, sitting down across from Jonathan at the kitchen bar.

Jonathan's face turns a deep scarlet, rolling his eyes as he continues to keep himself from snapping under more demands of the clients on the other end. His palms are sweaty, and Drew can tell he is getting more and more frustrated by the way that his brothers hand tenses up under his when he tries to slide it over his while he taps it against his fork, silently pleading with him to keep his cool.

"Yes, I completely understand. I'll be there as early as you need me to get my work out of the way. I'm sorry there have been so many inconvenient steps for you. I appreciate the opportunity to be able to work with you on your dream home."

"Yeah, dream home is an extremely shit description for having to work with your incompetent crew. I can't believe we have to deal with all of this bullshit. You better be there in the morning when I get there!" Drew hears the guy on the other end of the line yelling at his brother, putting no ease into the way he slams into Jonathan's. Drew is thankful when the guy decides to hang up on him, abruptly ending the phone call, allowing Jonathan to put his phone down and rest his hands against his temples again.

"Hey, don't listen to that." Drew quietly offers to his brother, pushing the drink closer to him. "You know you're the best. They always just get a little frustrated when they can't see the bigger picture until it's finished."

"Yeah, a little." Jonathan scoffs, pushing the wine glass away from him. "I'm not in the mood."

Jonathan finally looks up, Drew melts in his deep green eyes glaring across the room. Drew can tell he is hurt, knowing he is looking at everything around them, avoiding the contact of his own eyes.

Jonathan downs the glass of wine he slid across from himself earlier and stands up, cleaning off his plate and putting it away.

Drew carefully watches him, finally seeing his brother relax a little, and hopes that the rest of the evening can be less tense. Jonathan grabs a bottle of whiskey from their bar and downs a good amount, nearly finishing off what they have left of it. "Do you remember what you said in that interview yesterday." Jonathan asks his brother, not allowing it as a question, rather as a cold statement. He puts the whiskey back, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and facing back to stand with his brother, now face to face with him.

"What do you mean?" Drew sighs, trying to plead with his twin to turn his mood around, not wanting to focus on anything else that could come between them at this point.

Jonathan scoffs, " you don't remember when you gave a tour of the house and told the reporter about how we sleep in separate rooms. How we're not even allowed to come in one another's." Jonathan says coldly, looking back at Drew with daggers in his warm eyes. Drew can see the hurt and confusion on his brothers face, realising just how much he's already had to deal with today, and then bring this back up.

"Jonathan, you know I didn't mean that. She was suspicious. I had to redirect her, you know how much all of this means, for our personal life to stay private and separate from our shows." Drew takes a step closer to his brother, trying to grab for his hips and slide him closer in. "I can only imagine what will be said at the Google interview this weekend for our book." He whispers into Jonathan's ear. "Fanfiction, if we're lucky." He gently kisses his jawline and laughs into his neck.

The master bed room wasn't shown in the tour of their house. In fact, the two rooms that were staged as their own are two of the guests rooms. They have a lot of traffic during shows that are shot in the area, generally having enough rooms in the house and space for the crew to stay, either with them or their parents.

"I'm sorry I'm snapping at you. This renovation is just really difficult. I'm so tired of everyone else feeling like they're the contractors here and not me. Telling me how to do my job, all the extra steps." Jonathan sighs, letting Drew pull him closer. "I missed you today. I didn't see you." He mumbles, hoping Drew will want to stay up for awhile and relax with him even though they have a long day of shooting tomorrow. Two shows, and an interview in the evening. Plus they have an early flight at the end of the week for their Google interviews, which means nights spent in uncomfortable hotel rooms and very little sleep, if any. They always get things booked so tight together when they have to leave the state, so they can accomplish so much in such a little time.

Drew leans in, pulling him as close as their bodies will allow, sculpting to one another. He runs his hands down the sides of his brothers body and bites on his lip, leaving Jonathan shivering with the release of finally having his twin there with him.

Jonathan pulls Drew closer, almost falling into him, completely exhausted and enveloped into his brothers arms, "let's go take a shower and find something to watch." Drew pulls Jonathan's chin up to plant another quick kiss on his lips, pulling his brother along with him up the stairs to the bathroom.

Every stair is another painful reminder to Jonathan that he has so much to finish tomorrow and each step he takes towards the bathroom puts another step in his head about the project. "That guy is such an asshole." He mutters, following suit of his brother towards the bathroom at the end of the hall.

"I know, but don't let it bother you. Soon this reno will be over and we will be on to bigger and better things. Surely with nicer people." He calmly says, hopeful that he is right, because he knows that Jonathan can't take much more. He always has the bulk of the work, and the weight of the projects on him. No wonder he is always at his end.

Jonathan sits on the edge of the bed, plopping his head back and resting his arms under his neck. He could fall asleep so easily right now if he wanted to. But he really needs to stay up and work on some designs for the house, some of the "finishing touches" that the couple has emailed him, adding to the list. "Are you good?" Drew questions, placing an uneasy hand on his brothers thigh, leaning down, towering over his face.

"Yeah." Jonathan sighs. "I just have so much to catch up on now. I'll have to stay up all night toying with these new designs and have to be there really early in the morning. I'm just worn out. I do this for a living. I shouldn't feel this way." He mumbles, arching his back and tossing his hands over his eyes, shielding them from his brothers wondering looks.

Jonathan is a little bit tipsy from the drinks he had earlier, but not enough to feel any better about the situation.

He feels his brothers warm hands travel closer into his thighs, hearing the bed creak as he uses it to get on his knees and feels him rest his head between his legs, face planted in the comforter. "This reno sucks." Drew mumbles, muffled by the bed. He takes a deep breath and brings his head back up to rest on his twins warm legs

Chapter 2

"I know just what you need." Drew says with a sly smirk on his face, peering up at his twin from between his thighs, eyes traveling up his chest. Drew pulls himself up to hover over his brother and adjusts his legs on either side of his twin's hips, gazing down at him. "How bad do you want me?" He mercilessly grins, grabbing a fistful of Jonathan's drywall covered flannel, drawing his lips closer to his face.

Jonathan can't help but melt under the dark stare that Drew is giving him, peering down, grasping his shirt so tightly that his knuckles are beginning to turn white. Just when Jonathan thought that this day was a definite drag down. He knows his brother is always going to be there for him, in more ways than he ever imagined. "Bad, please." Jonathan whines from under his grasp, from the weight of his body grinding down on him. He can't help it when Drew plays him like this, because his brother knows that when he can't have what he wants, he desires it more. Drew loves making his brother beg for him, and Jonathan grows evermore excitedly every time he has to wait for what is coming. "Please, Drew. I want you so ba-" Jonathan is cut off from his twin's mouth, grabbing down and biting hard on his lip, moaning into his brother's mouth. He runs his mouth, slowly along his lips, giving deep tender kisses, careful to keep watching. He loves when Jonathan squirms under him from his touch, head arching back against the bed, eyes closed with anticipation building. "God, yes. Mhmm." Jonathan groans, his brother tracing his lips down his cheek, his jawline. He runs his hands down his sides, pulling his shirt up to expose his bare skin. Jonathan's muscles ache even more from the cool air hitting his exhausted body and he grinds his teeth together, letting out a slow roll of breath between his locked jaws. "Give it to me, Drew." He begs as his brother continues to run his hands and mouth over his chest, looking up to meet his brother's glare only for a second before he continues to trail his mouth down his stomach to his jeans.

"You have to be patient, haven't you learned anything?" Drew chuckles, reaching to unbutton his jeans and slide them carefully down to his ankles, so Jonathan can successfully kick them off onto the floor where his wrinkled and dirty shirt is already piled and waiting. Jonathan knows that Drew will wash him carefully and slowly in the shower, cuddle with him in bed and watch Chopped, or something ridiculous that he loves watching and Drew can't stand, just to make him happy. He knows that even after he's asleep and warm and content, that Drew will grab all of his dirty clothes and wash them before coming to bed. He knows that he will go back and clean up the mess in the kitchen that Jonathan makes when he's so exhausted from coming home and working that all he can think about is something quick enough and a drink to dull the previous hours pain so that he can crawl into bed and manage to get an hour or two of sleep before he hauls back to the renovation site. Jonathan knows that his brother will do this for him, because he loves him.

So, Jonathan is patient, with his brother's touch and his games. Because he knows how Drew enjoys their evenings together. It is rare when they have time together during renovations, shows, flights, etc. He knows that being at home with his twin's touch and his full attention is something he should be patient with. He knows that this game of head now will follow with a blissful shower. That Drew will come back upstairs after cleaning and making some late business calls to producers and emails to interviews and hopeful homebuyers for the show, to cuddle into his brother's warmth while he sleeps and carefully weave himself into his body, trying to wake him and get his attention. That he will want to make him wake up, aroused, and begging to have sex from the touch of Drew. That he will fall back asleep in the arms of his finally equally exhausted brother and they will sleep until the morning draws them up for a quick shower before being dragged back into the hell of this renovation. Jonathan remembers how much he dreads going to the site in the morning and his face becomes less relaxed and content with his brother's touch and he feels Drew stop moving over him.

"I know that look." Drew sighs, pulling himself back up to look into Jonathan's eyes. Drew's eyebrows furrow and he leans down closer to his brother so their mouths are almost touching, Jonathan works at cramming the thoughts back because he hates to think of anything else besides Drew when he is this intimate with him. "Just relax." Drew mumbles, placing one quick sloppy kiss on his twin's lips and travels back down to his briefs. Drew pulls at the tight band with his teeth, grabbing Jonathan's hard cock over the fabric separating them from touching. Drew moans, a deep and intense feeling of pleasure washes over him as he feels his brother throb under his grip. "Please, touch me. I want more." Jonathan begs, grabbing for his underwear. He feels his hand restrained to his side, Drew grinning down at him. "You don't get to decide when it's time. Don't threaten me to make you wait longer." He chuckles, releasing his brothers hand, and going back to his work. He kisses Jonathan over the fabric and shivers, hearing the moans work out from his brother's mouth. Deep growls starting at the back of his throat and escaping every time Drew breathes more hot air onto Jonathan's hard cock. He can barely contain himself any longer, and Drew must know that he is getting more and more restless, because he swiftly pulls his briefs off and tosses them down into the pile with the rest of the clothes.

"I've been waiting all day for you." Drew smirks, slowly drawing his eyes up to meet his brother's desperate stare. He gently kisses his twin on either side of his warm thighs, gently grabbing his balls with one cupped hand, and holding the other under his thigh, careful to be too rough. He knows that Jonathan likes it when he's rough, but after today he just wants to give him something to relax to. Drew finally slides his brother's twitching hot cock in his mouth, already feeling the precum on his tongue as he lets it dance against his brother's skin. He gently slides his fingers against Jonathan's thigh and back to his ass, feeling him arch against his touch, watching his body beg for more. He carefully inserts a finger into him, running his mouth hot down the full length of his cock over and over, making sure Jonathan is getting what he wants. He works his finger against his brother's grinding, begging and ready for more. "God, fuck, please. Yes, Drew, yes." Jonathan is barely able to get the words out of his mouth at the expense of the work his brother's mouth is doing on him. Jonathan places his hands in either side of Drew's head and pushes him downwards onto himself more. Drew loves it when Jonathan has to force him to be more rough. He knows that his brother can barely contain himself without his touch. Drew adds a second finger, slipping his mouth off of his cock and biting down on his thigh. Drew can feel his own skin brushing up tight against his slacks, his cock throbbing so hard he can barely keep the pulsing in his head drowned out, making his eyes weak and his body hungry for more.

Drew carefully laughs, nervously, looking up at his brother. He keeps his hands moving so that his fingers are in sync with Jonathan's grinding body. "I can't wait. I was going to wait, but I can't do it." Drew exclaims, pulling his fingers out from his prepared twin. He is met with the same running thoughts from his brother, when Jonathan quickly leans up, unbuttoning the dress shirt his brother is in, throwing tie, shirt and undershirt all on the floor as hastily as he can. "If you're too tired, we can wait. I don't have to." Drew suggests, facing his brother.

"Shut up." Jonathan rolls his eyes, pulling Drew closer in for a kiss. "I'm never too tired for my time with you." He mumbles into his mouth, grabbing for his slacks and popping the button undone and quickly sliding them off. Drew topples over his brother again, grinding his briefs against Jonathan's hot bare skin, his cock begging to release from all the pressure and teasing. Drew can't say he already doesn't feel the same tension in his own body.

Drew quickly pulls off his own briefs, leaning down for one more quick kiss on Jonathan's neck, hot air makes Jonathan shiver again against his brothers touch. "I love you so much. You know that right." Jonathan's face becomes a deep red, shying away from his brothers fleeting glance as he waits for his comment. Drew pulls Jonathan's face up to look at his by the chin, cupping his jaw. "It's okay." Drew smiles, placing another kiss on his lips. Drew knows how Jonathan feels about talking about love with his brother. He knows that he loves him just as much, but he's always so hesitant to say it when they're having sex. He always assumed that it's connected to the act and not his real emotions, so most of the time Drew just assumed he knows he's being honest and takes the fact alone that he knows Jonathan loves him even if he doesn't say it back often during these times. Jonathan is much more reserved about showing his emotions, especially after how rough it was for Jonathan in his childhood. He's never came right out and said it, but Drew knows. Regardless, Drew can feel his brothers love radiate from him, and that's enough.

"Spit." Drew demands, holding his hand out for Jonathan to take, and he does as he's told. Drew grabs his hard, throbbing cock, running his hand with Jonathan's saliva down it and gently thrusts into Jonathan. "Goddamnit, you feel so fucking good." Jonathan groans, pumping his body to meet the rhythm of his twin, begging for more. Drew continues to thrust harder and harder as Jonathan moans with pleasure while he grinds his body back against Drew's. Drew slides his free hand that isn't helping to balance between his brothers legs and smoothly runs his hand against Jonathan's hard needy cock. He can feel the anticipation building, knowing that Jonathan has had so much foreplay that he can barely contain himself. Drew's thrusting with his hand sliding against Jonathan won't let the him last much longer under the pressure. Drew doesn't think he can last much longer himself at how tight and perfect Jonathan feels under him.

"God Drew, harder, please. Make me come, I'm so close." Jonathan pants, his brother sliding his hand against his shaft quicker and quicker, pounding harder into him. His own eyes are becoming steadily more heavier with the weight of his own orgasm quick approaching. "Fuck Drew, I'm gonna come, I'm coming." Jonathan grabs the comforter around him, gripping fists of whatever he can reach. He throws his head back, spilling warm all down his brothers quick moving hand, down onto his stomach. Drew can barely continue to thrust after watching the pleasure he entertained on his brother, working in harder and harder each time he slams into Jonathan. "Fuck, fuck, Jonathan." He moans, slamming into him a final time, thighs shaking hard from the instant release he feels, soaking up the bliss from the orgasm. Drew slowly pulls out from his brother and lazily hovers over him, licking what Jonathan left for him on his stomach snd twitching cock. "You're always so good." Drew exclaims, sheepishly biting down on his lip, giving his brother a look of lust and hunger. Jonathan pulls his brother down for a sloppy, exhausted kiss before Drew slides off the side of the bed and drags Jonathan behind him towards the shower.

Jonathan is so exhausted, he could fall asleep right now, but Drew turns the steaming water on and Jonathan is instantly enveloped with the warm droplets of water hitting him as his brother adjusts the shower temperature just right. "Come on, I'll wash you." Drew motions for his twin to step into the shower, under the hot stream of water and Jonathan is instantly in heaven. He keeps his eyes closed and focuses on staying awake as Drew hums, massaging shampoo and working it into his hair. He is concerned when Drew stops, but is again relieved when he runs the sponge all over his body with soap, careful to relax every sore muscle that had to deal with the crazy couple on the renovation today.

After Drew finishes washing Jonathan off, he washes himself and dries them both off, padding warm and clean feet towards the bedroom again so he can find them something comfortable to get into. Though they haven't ever discussed it, neither one of them is particular to sleeping without clothes on, even together. Drew slides on some warm flannel sleeping pants and a shirt and hands Jonathan some shorts and a t-shirt as well to throw on while Drew searches the channels to find the chopped marathon Jonathan is so obsessed with every night they get together. Drew is the cold blooded one, it seems, and Jonathan is always so hot when he sleeps, so he can barely keep shorts on, let alone flannel pants to keep him warmer. Drew secretly thinks that Jonathan assumes he will pick up more recipes to make for him, since Drew is the cook of the two, and thinks about teasing him about it, but doesn't. He sees how's relaxed and calm Jonathan finally is, heading towards the bed to greet Drew who has successful found the right channel and pulled back the comforter enough for Jonathan to cuddle up close to him.

Jonathan snuggles up next to his brother, Drew throwing an arm over him. He knows he should be working on the stuff he needs to take to the site tomorrow, but he just wants to relax and enjoy his brother's presence while he falls asleep. He knows that Drew will get up after he falls asleep and work on some stuff for him while he's checking emails and whatnot. Drew is always there to catch the remainder of what Jonathan doesn't get done in a day, and he is so thankful that his brother is there for him when he can't be there for himself. Jonathan tries to stay awake while they're starting the dessert round on this episode, because he doesn't think he has seen it before, but Drew's hand rubbing circles in his hair softly is becoming too much to keep his heavy eyes open. "I do love you, Drew. More than you could ever imagine." Jonathan mumbles into his brother's side, quickly drifting off between powdered sugar, raw shrimp, and the quiet chuckle of his brother as he realizes that he was finally answering him back from earlier. And no; Drew thinks, as he begins to open his laptop to work on emailing, you don't love me more than I could ever imagine, because my love for you is unmeasurable.

#writeblogging #excerpt from a story i'll never write #writeblr #writers on tumblr #free write #writer #lgbtq #lgbt writers #gayass #gay men #gayhot #property brothers #ao3 #ao3fic #ao3 writer #also on ao3 #fanfic #fandom

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salexectrian-heir · 5 years ago

Text

Loki: Chapter 11

Pairing: Solavellan Rating: E*

Summary: Lavellan rescued a mischievious sphynx kitten outside her work who loves her dearly. But his destructive habits start to get out of hand when he steals her attractive neighbor’s underwear… repeatedly.

[Previous Chapter] [Start at the Beginning] [Read on AO3]

Chapter 11

Anise awoke the next morning to find Solas curled around her body with his face buried in her hair. How he was breathing she wasn’t quite sure. She rolled to face him. She untangled herself from his limbs as gently as she could. Apparently she didn’t need to have done so, he literally didn’t budge or notice at all. Out of curiosity, she picked up his arm and let it flop back down. Nothing. She couldn’t stop the smile that formed, nor the quiet bout of laughter that followed. He was dead to the world. She dressed herself, placed a chaste kiss on his forehead, and snuck out the front door--leaving it unlocked so she could get back in later.

No one had bothered her clothes in the laundry room, thankfully. Added to her luck, no one was using any of the machines. The snow must have had everyone taking a day off. She was able to switch everything over into two machines, leaving the others available in case someone did feel like doing chores too. Her stomach grumbled as she shut the last machine door shut.

If she was hungry, then her kitten most definitely was. Poor Loki. She was sure he was used to her being gone for periods of time by now, with her chaotic schedule. But it still stung she hadn’t even said goodbye.

And most likely her lover who lay unconscious and softly snoring where she left him would be hungry too--whenever he decided to return to the waking world. She decided she wanted donuts and coffee but that would mean braving the snow outside. Which meant warmer clothes were called for.

Loki was excited to see her, needless to say. When she cracked open the door to her apartment, his little face was right there. Nose pressing in the slight crack she had made, sniffing loudly and mewling to be let through.

“Silly boy, the door opens inwards.”

She stuck her foot through the crack to block off his point of exit. If he got out, he most surely would get the zoomies and tear up and down the hall, and take up more of her time catching him. She kept him at bay with her foot until she was inside and had the door secured behind her. His little paws immediately found purchase on her pants. He stretched, clutching the fabric and sliding along the floor as she waddled deeper into her apartment. When she got to the kitchen he finally let go, only to weave between her feet demanding to be held. After a few solid minutes of affection, playful bites, and incredibly loud purrs, she set him down to feed him. While he was distracted, she began to bundle up for her trek to the cafe down the street. Adding extra layers on top of her pajamas, a pair of extra thick socks, hat, earmuffs, scarf and boots. She was just able to make it out of her apartment with only one loud mewl of protest.

Her feet sunk into the fresh snow all too easily once outside. It was at least three feet deep, making it more difficult than she expected to maneuver. The street had been plowed, and a few fresh tire tracks suggested people were out and about. She had been lucky to have the day off, after having spent over 120 hours in it last week.

Though the worst of the storm had passed, snow continued to fall. Large flakes floated delicately from the light gray sky at a leisurely pace. The urge to stick her tongue out and catch one was incredibly strong, but she refrained. For all she knew Vivienne could be watching from out of one of the many glass windows at the Hospital just across the street as she passed by. She couldn’t risk it. At least until the hospital would be mostly out of sight.

She let her mind wander as she waded down the sidewalk. The snow continued to fall, the hospital continued to operate, and the world kept moving. Life always kept going. She thought about all the choices that led her to where she was now, how drastically her life had changed, much like the snow changed Haven overnight.

Tipping her head pack, she watched the snowflakes on their descent. Diving off clouds, down to earth, scattering across the wind to where they eventually would find the ground. Or her face. She had risked everything, taking her own dive. Leaving her homeland, her family, an engagement, all for her dream, for her passion. A risk that paid off more than she could have ever imagined. And perhaps most important of all she felt she had truly found herself in the process... she wouldn’t trade that for the world. Despite what it cost her. Her breath came out a wispy cloud in front of her face, going the opposite direction of the snow, disappearing up into the sky.

But she gained so much, too. A new family of residents and their antics, interns and their pestering need to be helpful, and attendings with their drama. Her patients and their faith in her, and her team. A purpose. A loveable nightmare of a kitten that she loved nearly as much as studying medicine.

And even a neighbor who… might just be more...

Memories from the night before flooded her mind. The way he felt as she fucked him, and the sensation of coming completely undone atop him. Her ears burned at the thought, and she shook her head to clear it. It was way too early for that kind of thinking. Even if he did just call her vhenan…

His heart.

She buried her face in her mittens and rubbed her cheeks in circles.

He called you Vhenan. It must have been a mistake… he was tired, and so out of it. He probably won’t even remember having said it...

Vhenan was not a casual pet name. Nor would you call the neighbor you were sleeping around with anything remotely close to that.

And yet.

She had gotten so lost in thought that she arrived at the cafe without realizing. She was just standing in front of the door, hands on her cheeks, taking deep breaths like some bizarre crazed idiot staring vacantly through the glass. For how long, she didn’t know. It could have been two seconds, or two minutes. She pulled herself together and braced for the awkward conversation she was about to inescapably having with the barista.

She couldn’t just casually say, “Oh, don’t mind me, just panicking because I might be falling in love with my old soul of a neighbor who comes with a fuckton of emotional baggage that just might outweigh my own, whom I only met a few months ago, that I met by chance when my kitten stole his underwear while he was doing his laundry” and expect that to go over well.

It even sounded insane in her head.

Graciously, the barista had been on their phone and had not noticed her mental crisis happening just outside. Or perhaps they were pretending and sparing her dignity. She ordered her usual (sixteen ounce vanilla red eye), and paused. For Solas, she eyed the specials...wanting to go with something extremely sweet and decaffeinated. Come to think of it, she had never actually seen him drink coffee before, so she wasn’t even sure if he liked it. He didn’t strike her as someone who particularly liked bitter flavors, given his love for insomnia cookies. She played with a piece of hair that had slipped out from under her hat before finally deciding on a decaf dulce de leche latte (with whip), hoping he would enjoy it.

She breathed a sigh of relief as she left the cafe, with their breakfast in hand. The walk back didn’t last nearly as long, despite the snow coming down a little bit harder. By the time she had gotten back up to his apartment her socks were wet, her hair was wet, and her hands were cold. But still she decided it would all be worth it to get to spend a lazy morning inside with him.

She stomped the snow off her boots outside his door and left them in the hallway. She doubted anyone would steal her size seven sopping boots. Once inside, the distinct sound of the shower running reached her ears. Perfect , she had time to set everything up.

He entered the kitchen dressed in a cotton shirt and a pair of comfortable looking jeans a few minutes later, just as she was pouring her coffee into a mug. He stopped mid step, surprise spreading across his face as he looked at her, then to the table, then settling back on her.

“I thought you had left.”

“Technically, I did,” she gestured to the food. “I figured why not treat ourselves on a snow day.”

“You...” he glanced out the window at the snow that was continuing to dance and swirl its way past the glass, “Anise.”

He appeared by her side in a flash, arm wrapping around her waist, tucking her in close. His body was so warm, heating lingering on his skin from his shower. She practically melded into him. “You should not have, you are freezing,” he kissed her temple and pulled back abruptly. “And wet.”

“Apologies,” she said, a bit breathless if she was being honest. His proximity, the press of his lips, his warmth… would she ever get used to it? Or was her heart always going to react this way when they touched?

He pulled away, taking his wonderful body heat with him. “One moment.”

“Where are you--”

He disappeared and came back with a change of clothes. A sweater and pair of sweatpants. “You might find these more comfortable,” he smirked, “and dry.”

She opened her mouth to protest. Her apartment was only a couple feet away with her own clothes, but… her mouth clicked shut. The chance to wear his …. that wasn’t something she was going to pass up. She went to reach for them, but he set them aside on the counter, eyes locked on her.

He grabbed the hem of her pullover and began to ease it off her. Together, they peeled off each wet layer, him sneaking a chaste kiss each time one was pulled over her head. As she pulled off the last layer, his hands drifted over the bare skin of her stomach. Her breath hitched at the contact. One settled onto her hip, thumbs tracing circles over the dip of hip bones, causing goosebumps to ripple over her skin. The other grabbed the change of clothes.

Right after getting her head through the sweatshirt, his mouth brushed along the shell of her ear before nipping at her bottom lip. “You are far kinder than I deserve.”

She shook her head, pulling her arms through and tugging it down. “Stop talking like that. Let me take care of you, too.”

Luckily the sweatpants had a drawstring, otherwise she would have never been able to keep them up. Not that her pants falling down would be an issue, at least this point in time, given the expression Solas was wearing as he watched her hike them over her ass.

But she really did want to drink her red eye before it got cold.

She waited with baited breath as they sat together, and he took his first sip of his latte. His eyes narrowed for a fraction of a second before widening. He took a more generous second sip.

“Do you like it?”

Solas blinked. “To my surprise, I do not hate it.”

She laughed, “I’ll take that as a yes.”

“It’s sweeter than I expected.”

“It’s also decaffeinated. I wasn’t sure… I’ve never seen you drink coffee before so I figured it would be a safe option.”

“Yes, normally I avoid it, but I will gladly take this over tea.”

Anise made a face at him. She loved tea. “What’s wrong with tea?”

“I detest the stuff,” he said in a flat tone, but the edge of his mouth quirked up the tiniest bit.

Anise feigned a gasp and set aside her coffee. “I see. Well, I must be going then.”

For a fraction of second, confusion flitted across his features, before he realized she was teasing. “I can’t believe that is what would send you running, after everything else you’ve learned about me.”

She playfully bumped into his shoulder, “I jest. It just means more tea for me.”

Solas rolled his eyes and smiled into his latte. The subject drifted to how Anise had found the cafe as they sipped their drinks. She explained how everyone at the hospital hated the hospital coffee, how it always tasted watered down and stale, and how the machine almost never worked properly. And after one particularly grueling week as an intern, Anise had gotten so fed up fighting with the machine she stormed outside and went for a walk. And just so happened to stumble upon the hole in the wall cafe a few blocks down. They fell into companionable silence, finishing up their donuts.

“Anise.”

She met his unwavering grey eyes and her stomach started doing somersaults.

“Thank you, I cannot express enough of my gratitude to truly capture how much I appreciate…everything you do, and this,” he gestured to the breakfast before them, “but also… for last night.”

Heat crept into her cheeks. “You don’t have to thank me for that Solas, I wanted you too.”

He shook his head, smile creeping onto his face. “Not only for the sex Anise. For your presence. For… accepting me in the condition I was in. I was not ready to talk about it then, and you respected my boundary.”

Her heart clenched.

“Of course, Solas.”

He wrapped his slender fingers around the edge of his cup, and stared into its empty contents.

“There was an… incident at work.”

Anise placed a hand on his arm. “What kind of incident?”

She felt him stiffen beneath her palm.

“One between myself and the CEO.”

Her heart dropped into her stomach.

All it took was a gentle squeeze and he launched into the story of how he had been called into strategy meetings with the Vice Presidents and CEO.

“It was awkward, draining, and irritating,” he sighed, his tension evident in his rigid posture.“In theory, I shouldn’t have even been there given the level of my current position, but in reality they value my experience and tenure. If…I had made wiser choices earlier in my career, it would have put me on track to be in the Research and Development Vice President position.”

As if sensing her question, he cast a glance aside at her and said, “In layman's terms, it’s the highest position a scientist can hold.”

“I openly disagreed with our CEO, albeit a bit heatedly during the meeting. Perhaps I should have kept my opinion to myself, but I am not one for keeping silent when I believe I can offer a better solution.” He grinned, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Saying our illustrious leader disliked my outspokenness would be an understatement. So would calling what I said simply a disagreement, but I digress.” He pushed aside his coffee. “He cornered me after work. Tempers flared, I insulted him, and…”

It was hard to picture him being easily angered, he certainly never showed her that side of him. Snarky, yes. Annoyed? For sure. But she had never been the target of his ire before, she was still getting to truly know him. Cracking that reserved mask of his, one week at a time. She listened attentively, nodding for him to continue. When he didn’t, she prompted him. His brows knit together.

“He punched me.”

“What! Solas! ”

She was on her feet before she registered what she was doing. She cupped his chin, delicately turning his face towards her. She scanned his face for bruising. How could she not have noticed? She was a doctor for fucking Sylaise’s sake.

“It barely landed. It was in terrible form, and didn’t leave much of a mark,” he reassured her, tugging her hand away from his face. “It happened on the second day, so I’ve had plenty of time to recover.”

“I hope you reported this,” Anise said, horrified.

She knew the answer to that based on his body language alone. “You didn’t… why not ?”

“I considered it, but…” he shrugged, “It happened outside of work. I fear it would only put more strain on the relationship I have with him. He clearly is not over what happened between his wife and myself. And...” Another mirthless grin. “I am prideful, hot headed, and foolish, Anise. I instigated.”

“I don’t approve but,” she leaned forward and kissed his forehead, “but I will stand by your decision. It’s not fair. You took the consequences of your actions in stride, he shouldn’t get to continue to act this way towards you. It’s entirely unprofessional.”

“It is. The rest of the week was just...” he shook his head, “painful.”

He stood and began to clean up their breakfast at the sink.

Following him over with their cups, “Why don’t you leave, work for a different company? One where you can be in the labs again?”

He took them from her and rinsed them out. “Letting go of the past is… easier said than done.”

She came up behind him, and wrapped her arms around his torso, placing her head between his shoulder blades. “I know. I just want you to be happy.”

He took a deep breath and turned around in her arms.

“When I am with you,” he smiled, and it was a genuine one this time, “ I am.”

#solavellan #solas #solas x lavellan #solavellan fanfiction #dragon age fanfiction

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peach-jaehyunie · 6 years ago

Text

You Were Beautiful part III

Warnings: Smut, swearing, {slight} Mommy kink, {not warnings} but also some angst and fluff

4.1k

A/N: I bet Jaehyun’s real parents are actually really lovely, I’m so sorry

Jaehyun hadn’t tried to contact you since Saturday morning; it was Sunday morning, and you had ignored his messages. Was it rude? Was it selfish? Maybe, probably; but you had felt an absolute fool on Friday. Jaehyun attempted to meet your gaze, and you replied shortly to his pleasantries. Johnny and Yuta tried to break the ice that had formed in your little jogging group, not understanding why the mood had drastically changed.

It was Johnny’s turn to host breakfast afterward, and you forced yourself to try as hard as possible to socialize and act normal. You joked easily with Yuta while he scrambled eggs, and caught Jaehyun frowning in deep thought out of the corner of your eye. Johnny was at the convenience store and Yuta in the bathroom when Jaehyun broke the icy silence in the kitchen.

“Can we talk about it, please?”

“About what?” You sighed loudly.

“Look, I’m really sorry. I never wished for that—I didn’t even know that it was being announced yet. I really did want to tell you; I feel ashamed about not being honest with you.” His voice was low and his eyes never left your figure. You slowly shook your head, annoyed with his words.

“Well, I felt exceedingly stupid. What did you gain? Why couldn’t you tell me?”

“I was afraid...if I told you I would never have a chance—“

“To fuck me? To say that you apparently love me?” You turned towards him, your voice getting louder “Maybe I would have still slept with you if you had told me. Maybe we would have been lovers of ill fate with no happy end...but you took away any power I had in that decision by not telling me.”

“I wasn’t trying to trick you! It’s not like I knew far beforehand that we were going to have sex—“ Jaehyun stopped talking very abruptly, looking beyond you; Johnny’s roommate, Ten, had come into the room with neither of you noticing. The three of you blushed scarlet, and Ten looked uncomfortable. You felt tears of shame prick your eyes as the sound of the front door opening broke the silence in the room. Johnny was whistling, and Jaehyun drew attention to the fruit he was cutting while you discreetly wiped the tears that threatened to fall.

The rest of breakfast went smoothly, Yuta, Johnny, and Ten talking and laughing comfortably. The food sat like lead in your stomach, and Jaehyun barely touched the food on his plate.

“Are you okay?” Ten pulled you aside and asked as you were about to leave. You had only met him a couple of times, and were not close with him.

“I’m fine, but thank you. I’m sorry you had to hear that.” You said with an apologetic smile. You knew that Jaehyun was under no obligation to tell you about Misook, despite this you almost felt...had. You played his love confession over and over in your mind; maybe he said that to every girl he slept with, but that seemed unlikely because it had most definitely killed the mood a week ago. You were gradually realizing just how much you didn’t know Jaehyun. Usually, he hung out with Johnny and that’s when you might see him. He had asked Yuta to the art gallery opening before you, and only asked you to accompany him when Yuta declined. Apart from a drive home every so often, you could only count the number of times the two of you had been alone together on two hands. You had absolutely no idea what his job was, only that it was something at the company he was set to inherit. There had been an awkward introduction to his parents one morning a few months ago: it was the only time the two of you had gone jogging together without Yuta or Johnny, and Jaehyun had insisted on stopping by his parents' house to sign a few papers. He also insisted that they weren’t going to be home, but that was quite untrue you realized once you got there. His parents interviewed you for about 20 minutes before Jaehyun managed to pull them off.

There was this gnawing feeling of regret in the pit of your belly; unfortunately, you had enjoyed it so much and you would be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about doing it again.

Standing in close proximity of Jaehyun now made you extremely aroused, so by the time you got home you had quite literally been wet for hours. During your shower you let your fingers wander, stroking yourself and massaging your breasts; it all feels really nice, but you can’t get the release you desperately crave. For nearly 15 minutes you are trying everything that has worked in the past, even fantasizing about people that you found attractive—except Jaehyun. You are finally forced to give in and imagine that these are Jaehyun’s hands, and picture how Jaehyun’s face looked from between your thighs. It leaves you a shaking and moaning mess as your orgasm builds and builds before washing over you.

————————————————————————————

On Tuesday when you walk into the small teachers' lounge to make a tea, you see Yuta and Johnny in deep conversation that is abruptly halted as you approach them with your steaming cup.

“Hey,” Johnny says with a softening expression, while Yuta frowns down at his hands. “Wanna sit?” He gestures to the chair across from himself.

“No, I only have a couple of minutes.” You say, wondering if Ten might have said something to his roommate. You really hoped not, the thought of everyone knowing that made your stomach hurt. They had obviously been talking about you when you came into the room.

“Are you okay?” Johnny asks as you go to turn away.

“Of course, why?” You smile, but your stomach feels sick.

“You seemed upset the other day.”

“I was just in a bad mood.” You lied with a smile, and with a little laugh, you turned and left. Through the years you had perfected your fake smiles and laughs to look and sound almost identical to the real thing. They made your lies more convincing, and allowed you to appear to brush off almost anything without so much as an emotional scratch. In reality, your stomach was churning just thinking about the possibility of Ten telling Johnny. You didn’t want their disdain, or worse; their pity.

You tried to pinpoint exactly what had you so upset. Any relationship that might have developed between you and Jaehyun would have been short lived, and you were mostly in it for the physical reasons, right? But if it was just sex, why did you feel wronged? You simultaneously wanted to avoid Jaehyun, yell at him, and have him back in your bed.

The first thing is difficult to do when Jaehyun shows up at your apartment that evening. He’s completely unannounced, though it’s unlikely that you would have responded if he had tried to contact you. You watch him for a few moments through the peep-hole, he stands outside your door soberly clasping a brown paper bag with a determined expression on his face. He seems to decide to leave when he places the bag on the ground and turns away, without a thought you open the door and he turns back to you quickly and picks up the bag looking surprised that you chose to see him. Your action surprises yourself, the feeling to avoid him is apparently not strong enough.

“Here’s your stuff,” Jaehyun says as he holds out the bag to you.

“My what?” You have no idea what he could have of yours. He glances down and speaks rather apologetically.

“Your bra, it was in my car.”

“Oh...thanks.” So much for yelling at him. The silence was awkward, and you both wanted to say something but were waiting for the other to speak first.

“I’m sorry, again.” Jaehyun finally says, and again you feel a flare of anger in the pit of your stomach. Your grip tightens on the bag you’re holding, and you purse your lips as your gaze meets his. I trusted you, you want to tell him.

“What was the point? You had plenty of opportunities to tell me—hell, you had months to tell me! If you had told me personally, even after we slept together, I wouldn’t be anywhere near as upset.”

“Then it was real.”

“What?” He had spoken with such finality, but you couldn’t let him get away with an apology and half an explanation.

“Then it was all real! I was finally getting the life my parents dreamt up for me when I was born: big company, arranged marriage to a beautiful wife—like a puppet, unable to make any executive decisions. Needless to say, they didn’t approve of you as a suitable partner for me or replacement for Misook. Telling you—whom I love—that I was marrying someone else was heartbreaking: it was admitting my final defeat.” His voice was frustrated and he looks away from you, clenching his jaw.

“Jaehyun,” his head whips around to look at you, and his expression immediately softens when your eyes meet. “You don’t even know me,” you tell him sadly.

“Not as well as I would have liked, but better than you think.” His smile is regretful as he continues, “I know you hate coriander, that you get bored easily when you don’t have a normal schedule, you like music that makes you feel sad, your hands are always cold, you lie much too well, and it bothers you if someone doesn’t push their chair into the table after they are done using it—or if someone doesn’t close a door properly! You’re extremely practical, but you also love a good thrill. You want everyone to think that you’re calm and aloof so that nothing can truly get to you, but I know that you notice and feel a lot more than you like to admit.”

“Jaehyun, everyone feels that—“

“I would wear my heart on my sleeve for you if I thought that would work.” His sincerity leaves a tight feeling in your chest and you feel more drawn to him than ever. You don’t do anything more than look into his eyes, but when he moves to turn away you grab the front of his shirt. His brown eyes were hopeful as they scanned your face, was this fair you wondered; you might never be able to reciprocate his feelings. You shifted closer to him. Maybe that would be better, it would hurt less when this all ended in a few months. Jaehyun let you make every move until you were pulling down his head to meet your upturned lips, which he kissed softly yet hungrily. Your hands grip his shirt tightly as you gently tug him into your apartment; your mouths never parting.

————————————————————————————

You wake up before your alarm, which you turn off as you get up so as to not wake Jaehyun. After more than a week of spending almost every night with him, there is still a little part of you that doesn’t trust that he’s not left something else out. It’s an irrational fear you experience almost every morning: the dread of when the next big lie will come out. But it’s okay, you’re the big secret now.

It’s a secret on Sunday morning when Jaehyun is begging to fuck you.

“Pretty please,” he whispers against your neck as you’re straddling him and his hands are gripping your ass.

“We have less than fifteen minutes, so you better wear a condom because I don’t have time to clean up your mess.” You say to him with a raised eyebrow. He feigns hurt.

“Sassy, aren’t you darling?” But he pushes you off to run to the bathroom for a condom. “You’re very eager,” Jaehyun comments when he returns to find you naked from the waist down.

“So are you, baby.” You grin as you take his perky cock in your hands, stroking it and then giving the tip a teasing swirl of your tongue. Jaehyun lets out a low groan, before plopping down and rolling on the prophylactic. In no time you have straddled Jaehyun again and sunk down onto his plump cock.

“Oh god, baby boy, you fill me so well” you moan as you ride him. You feel your release building quickly with each roll of your hips, and Jaehyun helps by thrusting up into you. Your breathy gasps fill the room and you push your hands up Jaehyun’s shirt to pinch his nipples. You pick up your pace and let out a loud whimper as you rush towards your orgasm uncomfortably fast.

“Oh my god, YN, holy...fuck.” Jaehyun just manages to get out as you begin to squeeze his cock with your pussy to get him off faster.

“I can’t hold off much longer,” you gasp between moans, and you bring your hand up to your mouth to stifle them.

“Cum, Mommy,” he chants the name under his breath, it turns you both on more than you dare to admit. Jaehyun rubs little circles on your clit bringing you to your peak. Your spasms bring him over the edge just after you.

After, you’re off him in a flash to clean up your own stickiness that threatens to run down your thighs.

“Come on, baby boy, you don’t have time to just lay there.” You say kissing his forehead and smiling at him fondly as you put your jogging pants back on. You run out to the couch and grab a magazine off the coffee table just as the buzzer sounds, letting you know that Johnny and Yuta have arrived. Jaehyun bolts out of his bedroom to answer the door.

“Hi,”

“Good morning!” Johnny replies happily. “Good morning, YN!” He says as soon as he spots you on the couch. Jaehyun looks extremely flustered for a moment as if deciding what to do next.

“Okay, should we go then?” He asks grabbing his keys.

“Dude, your pants?” Yuta says, and Jaehyun looks down at the jeans he threw on in a rush.

“Oh,” he quickly returns to his room.

Yuta, Johnny and you wait for Jaehyun by the door. He comes out in less than a minute later in a pair of shorts and begins to quickly put his sneakers on.

“Do you want blisters?” You ask him.

“What? Oh, socks!” And he runs back to his room. Yuta visibly rolls his eyes, and you try to hide your smirk.

“Is he okay?” Johnny asks with a laugh.

It’s a secret on Friday night When you’re out for drinks with Mark, Daniel, and Jiwoo.

“I’m horny” Jaehyun whispers into your ear. You laugh and smile at him,

“Okay,” there is no preset plan, so Jaehyun just leaves toward the direction of the bathroom while you stay to finish listening to the story Mark is telling. Mark’s laughter is somewhat contagious, but he keeps laughing before he gets to the really funny parts.

“Does anyone want another drink?” You ask standing up. You give the bartender your order “And have it brought to table 7, please.” You have left Jaehyun alone for nearly two minutes by the time you reach the bathroom.

“I almost thought you weren’t coming.” He laughed into your neck.

“I’m not, you are.” You tell him between kisses. He pulls away and his eyes visibly darken as the harsh fluorescent lighting touches his face.

“I’m going to have to make it up to you when we get home.” He says with a grin as he kisses you again. You smile against his mouth as you palm the front of his pants, before pulling away and grabbing toilet paper to cover the floor for you to kneel on. Your touches have left him sufficiently hard by the time you have freed his cock from his underwear. Your hands squeeze the backs of Jaehyun’s thighs while your tongue teases the tip of his dick. At first, you alternate between licks and tongue swirls until he’s fully hard and you begin to shallowly bob your head, hollowing your cheeks but keeping your tongue rubbing the underside of his cock. Jaehyun is trying to control his breathing as best he can, but you can hear the sharpness on the intake and a slight moan as he breathes out. You relax your throat and take him all the way in, closing your eyes on the tears that form from the strong urge to gag. You swallow around him a few times, eliciting soft whines that spill from his lips, and then set a slow pace hoping he will catch on to thrust into your mouth at his own speed. You pull against his thighs and he seems to understand what you want as he starts to slowly rock his cock into your mouth. You bring your hand up to plays with his balls, earning low moans and he picks up his pace. You keep your tongue pressed up against him as he thrusts quickly but gently into your mouth, his moans getting more frequent and slightly higher. You hum against him to distract yourself from wanting to gag.

“Holy...oh god, I’m gonna...oh fuck” Jaehyun says between heavy breaths and he makes one last strangled moan before spilling his cum into your mouth. Some spills out of your mouth and down your chin before dripping into the floor by your knees. Post orgasm Jaehyun is always beautiful and pink, and his hair had stayed perfectly bouncy this time around. Before you can wipe off your chin, Jaehyun takes a piece of tissue clean up his cum on your face.

“You’re perfect.” He tells you with a soft smile and his hands cup your face.

“Perfection doesn’t exist.” You tell him with a smile that’s meant to be sly but actually feels a little sad.

It’s a secret that four of you share when you go to the movies with Jaehyun, Misook and her boyfriend, Minseok. You and Minseok pretend that you’re an item tagging along with the engaged happy couple. Neither of you is thrilled by this arrangement, but it’s perfect for very public outings as people have been keeping tabs on Jaehyun and Misook for the society page. Misook has an abrasive sense of humour, but she is otherwise kind and knows what she wants. Minseok is a TA at a University and is definitely more of a listener and watcher than a participator. You double date with them once a week to meet Misook and Jaehyun’s parents’ expectations of them spending time together. Probably not what the Songs and Jungs meant, but at least they were in the same room so it was a step toward marriage.

You and Jaehyun try your best to never miss an opportunity to kiss in empty elevators, or have sex in his car late at night in the parking garage. You go grocery shopping together to make sure that each of your refrigerators is filled with things that the other likes. There are lazy movie nights with no sex, and other nights that you can’t be together so you just call and talk on the phone until late into the night. Jaehyun makes your favourite dish from your country, and it’s good but you make it with him again to show him how to make it even better. He shows you his favourite places in the city, mostly reclusive spots where you can sit and think, or are at least inspired to speak in hushed voices. You both laugh a lot, which feels wonderful.

It’s your secret that you’re falling in love with him. He tells you often that he loves you, never expecting anything in return for that confession; he just wants you to know and he knows he only has a limited time to say it. When he kisses you goodbye at the door of your apartment, you want to say it back to him. When he brushes your hair back from your face, you want to say it. Or when his legs tangle with yours on the couch or in bed, your chest aches to say those three words. Sometimes they burn in your throat, and they keep you up at night to listen to Jaehyun’s soft breathing.

One morning about two months in, you roll over in Jaehyun’s bed with a smile on your face; only to find his side of the bed empty. You listened for a moment and heard nothing in the apartment, you checked your phone and read a text from Jaehyun saying that he went out to get you some banana milk. You smile happily and close your eyes, tired from a night of intense lovemaking. You force yourself to get up and go to the bathroom to wash off any of the stickiness from the night before. You come out of the bathroom and pick up a t-shirt of Jaehyun’s that’s thrown onto a chair to put on. You hear noise in the kitchen and smile at the thought of him letting you sleep in.

“My legs are still wobbly from last night!” You say loudly with a laugh as you make your way down the hall towards the kitchen. You hear another noise, but no reply.

“Jae?” You ask timidly, reaching for the wall for more support. You stand there in Jaehyun’s shirt, embarrassed and unsure of what to do as Jaehyun’s parents look at you with an annoyed expression. You bow uncomfortably and say hello. They do not return your greeting and his mother grimaces and turns away from you. You offer tea, which his father accepts, and sit across from them in Jaehyun’s living room while the tea is steeping.

“Where is Jaehyun?” His father asks.

“Out getting banana milk.” You say with a heavy blush.

“I bought Jaehyun that shirt.” His mother says coldly, she’s finally looking at you with an expression of contempt.

“Oh,” is all you can say, you have never wanted to be able to magically disappear so badly in your life.

“He doesn’t even drink banana milk, why is he going and buying it?” She was now talking as though she couldn’t see you. You feel chilled, and you wonder if your nipples are visible through the shirt. You hear a key at the lock and let out a shaky breathe of relief. Jaehyun immediately sees the three of you sitting there as he walks in.

“What’s going on? How did you even get in?” He immediately begins defensively.

“We pay for the apartment, you think we don’t have a key? And what the hell is this, anyway?” Mr. Jung gestures at you. “You’re getting married in a few months, and this is how you’re wasting your time?” Your throat was actually aching from trying not to cry. Jaehyun looked like he was about to lose it, but he sat down next to you and held your hand before taking in a deep breath:

“It’s my apartment, and I can have anyone here whom I please.” He says very controlled “Misook has also chosen to follow her heart’s desires for the time being. We’re giving you so much, allow us this one happiness.” Jaehyun squeezes your hand as he says this. The bag with your banana milk in it sits at his feet.

“What Misook’s parents let her do is their concern, it’s not our fault they can’t control—“

“Control her? I’m almost thirty years old! I have as much right to be with someone I love as the next person.” He says angrily.

“Jaehyun—“ his mother starts.

“Get out.” Jaehyun snaps, standing up, pulling you with him. His parents slowly get up to leave, his father taking one last sip of his tea. Jaehyun tucks you into his side as the door closes behind them, and you bury your face into his shirt.

“I’m so sorry about that, YN, they won’t do anything though. Are you okay my little love?” You look up at him and two big tears run down your cheeks.

“What’s wrong?” He asks you, worried, and he cups your face and softly wipes your fallen tears.

You love him. You love him. You love him. You love him. You love him. But you can’t bring yourself to say it, because you know it will hurt so much.

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maddiesmt-morphina · 6 years ago

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7 minutes in heaven - Chapter 9: The Day After

Erina was the type of girl who, despite enjoying the benefits of technology, didn't like being woken up by it. She definitely didn't like the shrill sound of the standard alarm at all and so had changed the tone for a relaxing recording of birds and sounds of nature. She was so far from this calm that whenever she could, she included a little peace in her daily life. The first sound that encroached her ears were the exotic bird songs she, after hearing so much, could already distinguish by species. The first light in her eyes was always the morning light of the sun as she lifted and opened the curtain that led to the balcony of her room. And the first touch she felt on her skin was the wind coming in as soon as she opened the glass door separating her room from the garden view. All this was routine for Erina. A relaxing routine that she built after years of sleeping and waking up in the chaos that her obligations brought her. That morning, however, Erina woke up tired. The time on the clock reported that she had missed the first two alarms and that even then she still had a good 3 hours of sleep to complete the 8-hour rest healthy cycle. The bedroom was still pitch black, but her hands found the phone resting on her nightstand.

She let out an growl of displeasure as the excessive glow of the device's screen pierced the purple iris of her still sleepy eyes. No birds, no morning light, no wind blowing her hair. This morning, she had changed her peace by the nervousness of curiosity as to know if the red-haired boy had answered her message.

She glanced quickly through her cell phone. Her stomach tumbling as if her body were free-falling, her hands trembling, and the air being drawn frantically into her lungs as if the oxygen were about to going missing. Since when did she care so much about messages written during a night of insomnia and hangover? Ah of course… NEVER. Exactly because she had never thought about going through such a situation.

Her eyes stopped at the message sent. Had she really written that she missed that idiot? And she had even used the boy's first name! The decision that seemed so correct and trusting the night before now seemed stupid and naïve. She felt completely vulnerable by revealing so much of herself and receiving silence in return. There, resting alone, were the words she didn't dare speak out loud. And in response of it, the bitter taste of the sent and unread message. She could still erase the message without his knowing, right? Yes, she could and she would. She couldn't bear to be ignored after exposing herself so much. But while selecting the message to delete it, she observed with panic in the eyes, the status of the message changed from the two gray ticks meaning received to the two blue ticks meaning that the message HAS BEEN READ.

Extremely white hands emerged beneath the Egyptian cotton duvet. It was the only sign that there was someone beneath the various pillows and sheets scattered across the Queen size bed. The trained fingers easily reached the cell phone lying on the floor and Alice sighed deeply. At least, this time, she hadn't lost another cell phone. She didn't dare come out of the warm, comfortable cocoon she was in. So she stayed well accommodated to her familiar routine. She brought the cell phone close and used the voice command so she didn't have to open her eyes or even see the light coming from the device.

"Call Ryo"

"I'm sorry I don´t have any numbers for Ryo"

" Hm?" Alice frowned, letting a grunt of dislike scratch her throat. With her fingers still pressing the button on the voice command, the heiress Nakiri let her thoughts go free.

"What do you mean, stupid cell phone?"

"I'm doing the best I can"

The unexpected response made her eyes open. She blinked a few times until the vision became less blurry.

"I can't believe I'm talking to my cell phone!"

"Can´t you?" -It was the immediate response of the device.

Alice's eyes widened and she decided to forget the voice command that was freaking her out.

She shook her head as if taking out unrelated thoughts and searched for Ryo's name on the contact list and didn't find him there. She sighed for the third time in frustration. Surviving this day was almost unbearable.

She decided she would do it the old fashioned way and began typing the numbers she knew by heart.

She closed her eyes again as she adjusted the device between the pillow and her right ear. She just needed to hear his voice to wake up.

The all mornings were like this. Alice couldn't start her day without her morning alarm. She didn't use music or ringing as an alarm. She didn't need this when she had Ryo. The low, hoarse voice that only he had in the morning was the best sound she could hear. It didn't help the fact that he always woke her up at the exact time she wanted to be awakened. One time she wondered if he had some supernatural power to ever make her wake up in a good mood. His 'good morning' was always accompanied by a Mocha with precise notes of nutmeg and some kind of candy he stole from the kitchen. They had coffee together before they went down to have breakfast with her cousin and grandfather. The latter always complained about how little they both ate during the "most important meal of the day" and barely suspected that they were actually in their second meal.

Today she had to wake up with the mechanical voice of the cell phone and didn't like it at all. And to worsen the situation, her cell phone didn't seem to want to complete the call. She opened her eyes again and stared at the screen. She frowned again when she saw the notification: NUMBER BLOCKED

It was then that memories of the day before enveloped her like cold water on winter. She threw the sheets away as she got out of bed and opened the door, finding a security guard whose name she couldn't remember. Alice made no attempt to erase her disgusted face or even when the man greeted her with a "Good morning, miss." Not nearly as good to hear as the same phrase coming from the mouth of her faithful aide. The girl only let out a muffled cry of anger and closed the door again with all the strength she had. She returned to the protection of the blankets fleeing from the reality that was going to be the day without Ryo.

Soma didn't wake up particularly early that morning. The head still seemed heavy with sleep, but the morning light that was invanding his room betrayed the delay of the hour. He put his hands to his face and pressed his eyes and temples lightly as if he could remove his fatigue with this act. He followed his own routine calmly and naturally. Just feeling a strangulation in his stomach now and then. Something that he associated with the lack of food since it should have passed and much of his breakfast time.

Throughout his preparation for the beginning of one more day he could't help but notice the strange feeling of want that plagued his chest and disturbed his thoughts. Something was missing. Something was strangely disconnected and meaningless.

It was only during his bath that he noticed the marks of battle. He looked at it one by one. From the purple marks on his neck to the scratches on his back. He didn't remember fighting he couldn't even think about fighting someone, and his body didn't look sore. It was then that he found a bite mark on his shoulder just below his neck and the memory of how it was made hit him like a paintball bullet. Harmless but powerful enough to make him lose his breath. Soma blushed as he recalled how each of those marks were made and even more so when he remembered the messages exchanged after that. In a swift motion, he finished his shower, covered himself with a towel on his waist and ran off in search of the cell phone almost falling on his way out of the bathroom.

As he passes the hall, he could hear a whistle from Shoji followed by a lament from Daigo as he notices the marks on the back of his friend who seemed to be running a marathon.

"I can't believe! Damn Yukihira!You fucker! Come on spill the beans! at least give us some juicy details!"

"Can't you see Daigo? Apparently things gone wild, isn´t it Yukihira?"

Soma knew they wouldn't let that go so soon and he honestly had more to worry about, such as whether Totsuki's princess had at least visualized his message from the night before.

His gut could now identify butterflys flying wildly as he approached his room. He felt his skin bristling and knew that it wasn't because of the low temperature or the scarcity of clothing. When the boy reached his room, he almost forgot to close the door. Trembling and still not understanding why his heart seemed to have created its own life by wanting to leave his own body, Soma arrived in time to visualize the message sent at 4 a.m. There, in all its solitude and sincerity, lay the words that would linger in his brain for the rest of the day. She was thinking about him, too.

Ryo didn't fancy the scene unfolding in front of him. This was the strangest breakfast he'd ever had. Well, at least until he had to have breakfast with Yukihira and Hayama sitting at the same table. Imagine such a situation made him shake his head and arch his eyebrows. Probably that day would come soon since the first was apparently in making out with the other heiress Nakiri and the second had a date with that said girl's aide. Indeed, it wasn't difficult to visualize that future meals would be even stranger and possibly embarrassing.

The boy knew that he shouldn't see Alice, after all that was the challenge, so getting up early was the most sensible option to do. He just didn't count on having to sit at the table in the company of Hisako and the old Nakiri.

The silence was broken only by the sound of the cutlery as it touched the tableware. It was excellent so that he could reflect on his own situation.

He looked up at Hisako's figure in front of him. He admitted that he had subdued her. She was smarter than he'd expected. The challenge was coldly calculated. From the moment it was proposed until the logistics of the house and mobilization of staff. Everything organized so that he and Alice would not meet. What Hisako couldn't imagine was how it could affect Alice in a negative way. And he was afraid of it.

Alice was a difficult person. She was totally confident person in the outside but he knew she was more dependent on reassurance and affection than she let show. This is because deep down he knew she has always felt abandoned by her cousin and inferior to her God's tongue status. The girl knew she was capable, but she needed her daily dose of attention. He understood that both the red-eyed girl and the purple-eyed heiress were not to blame for the fate that separated them as a child, but he couldn't ignore the fact that it had a tremendous weight in the formation of some of the traumas present in his mistress life. And knowing all this, Ryo clearly understood the appeal in her words yesterday: "Don't forget me"

She was afraid he would forget her. That he would ignore her as had happened to Erina. She was afraid of losing him.And it made him tight his grip on the fork he was using.

The thoughts were interrupted by the voice the girl's grandfather.

"Where are my granddaughters?" Senzaemon Nakiri's voice denounced the concern in his eyes.

"I think Miss Erina is still asleep. She mencionated, last night, that she would like to sleep in today."

"And Alice?" The old man turned his attention to Ryo, who simply let out a low grunt and turned the question to Hisako.

"Hisoko can answer that question better than I since I'm not allowed to see her."

The mention of his name and Ryo's cold, sharp voice made Hisako choke on her own tea. He looked at her indifferently, but his tone had been one of plain disgust.

Senzaemon turned his attention to the girl, intrigued by the boy's response.

"Ahh..right ... I ... I don't know exactly. I believe Miss Alice is still asleep."

Ryo shook his head and let out a sigh before speaking again.

"You're wrong. Miss Alice is already awake."

"But how.."

"How do I know? Hm ... " He set the cup on the table and faced the secretary. "I know because Miss Alice has a very peculiar sleep. She has insomnia and wakes up a few times during the night. She always wakes up before 10 a.m, even if she went to bed at 8 p.m or 4 a.m. She also likes to have coffee in her room. A mocha with a dash of nutmeg and only 2 tablespoons of sugar. Not 3, not 1 but 2 accurate tablespoons. Miss Alice likes to talk about the dreams she had during the night and needs to know about the entire weather report of the day before she leaves to get ready. But of course you don't know this, and probably not even whoever you have placed to assist her this day. It's already 10:30 a.m. I suggest you to hurry or the situation can get very bad for you Hisoko and I'm not saying this because of what miss Alice can do."

He got up and took one last look at the girl before addressing the owner of the residence.

"With your excuse"

Hisako froze before she heard a muffled laugh and confirmed that Senzaemon Nakiri was actually amused by the situation.

"He surely knows her, doesn't he? Now I deeply advise you to follow his instructions my dear. Not because I believe Alice should continue being spoiled, but because I have the conviction that if something happens to her, he will come after you."

The young secretary just nodded and left the table quickly. She didn’t want to come to suffer from the fury of Kurokiba's revenge.

Soma's head was a war zone. He didn't know what to think right after reading her message. What should he answer? Everything seemed so clear yesterday as they chated throught the phone. Today, however, he no longer trusted his power of interpretation. Had she said it in the heat of the moment? It was 4 a.m after all. She must have been sleepy and that was an accidental mistake. Although, she had used his first name and it seemed so natural. She wrote it with confidence and sincerity, just as he had done when he revealed that he couldn't get her out of his thoughts.

What to write? What to respond? Soma took a deep breath. He would write what he was feeling, just as he had done in the middle of the night. But what was he really feeling? He had no idea how to describe the euphoria and confusion that gripped him at the moment.He couldn't just write that he was feeling like his gut were about to eat him alive. She wouldn't like to know that..specialy beacuse he was still struggling to decide if it wasjust the effects of the hangover or something more confusing than that. He needed to breathe. It seemed that at any moment he would suffocate in his own ignorance.

Soma pressed his lips together as he thought and pressed a few buttons on her cell phone. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and concentrated on his heartbeat. He had really meant it when he told her he couldn't stop thinking about her. How could he after the marks she left in both his skin and memory? Maybe he should admit to him and to her that yesterday night meant more than just a challenge in a stupid game.

Yukihira [11:20 a.m]

I Kind of miss it..you know..

He didn't have to wait long. The answer was almost immediate. As if she'd been waiting until that moment for him.

Nakiri [11:20 a.m]

What?

He began to type the answer and then wondered if it was really a good idea to send it...

Yukihira [11:20 a.m]

Have you in my arms...

The phrase was sincere but he was afraid it was too much of information and that it would scare her the same way it was scaring him. And when he turned his eyes back to the phone, still undecided whether or not to send the message, the device itself made the decision for him when it hung up for lack of battery. Leaving Soma perplexed and with only one idea in mind. The boy finished dressing and left the room, leaving the device near the dresser to charge.

As soon as the door hit, a notification notice appeared on the screen of the device: MESSAGE SENT.

I know! I know I promissed this chapter release on friday but i got caught up here. You see, I had to travel and I'm still on it however I brought my computer just to try to release the update as soon as I could. However I just couldn't make it at friday and I didn't want to post something too flat or just too short because i feel that i owe you guys! You all are amazing! And I'm doing my best to delivery a good story and trying to do it as fast as I can.

I really wanted to put more sorina moments here and of course more akisako and takumegu moments as well but I just had to start the developmento of Ryoali. It is one of the bests shippes and I intent to give it as more attention as it deserves.

I want to make a update every friday but let's see how it goes and of course if you guys want me to continue.

I wanna thank every single one of you who took your time to comment, favorite, follow and read my fic.

Hope you all had enjoy the chapter and maybe see you next week?

#shokugeki no soma #food wars #fanfic #sorina #soueri #ryoali #ryo x alice #erina nakiri #soma yukihira #soma x erina #takumegu #akisako #ryo kurokiba #alice nakiri #7minutes

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cncorner · 5 years ago

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Three months on T!

Woo, I made it!

I’m on 0.4mL/week of a 200mg/mL solution (so 80mg of T a week).

I guess three months is commonly considered to be the first “big milestone” when taking T. I was told that this is when people can start “telling”, which I didn’t think was going to happen, but it did! Kind of.

Let’s see if I can remember the changes.

We’ll start with the physical.

1. Voice: The first voice analyzer test put me at 137Hz at the beginning of the month, and my last one from last Friday was 121Hz. I started off three months ago at around 180Hz. I actually had my cis bestie take the voice analyzer test and his voice came in at like 112Hz. He commented that it would be weird if my voice ended up lower than his. I told him that was actually extremely likely at this pace. I don’t think I “speak” any more masculine, my voice is just lower.

2. Body hair! I have body hair coming in! Kind of. I think for the most part it’s just a little bit longer and darker, but I don’t have “more” just yet. I am starting to get some little hairs around my nipples, which I didn’t even think about as a possibility. I’m not sure why. Before I started I was really apprehensive about body hair, but now I’m excited for it.

3. Facial hair! The little hairs on my upper lips are growing in. They’re technically not that long yet (maybe half a centimeter?), nor are they that dark, but I can see a mustache shadow in the mirror. I don’t think anyone else would be able to see it without looking for it, though. I have some vellum hairs on my chin that are growing in super long (like maybe 3/4 inch?) but they’re a very pale blonde still.

4. My hands and feet are more “masculine” in some way I can’t describe. I was gifted with their size before starting; my hands are eight inches long from the base of my palm to the tip of my middle finger, and my shoes are size 12-ish in men’s. They have gotten more masculine somehow. I just don’t know how.

5. My face is a bit more slender, I think, but I’m also fat so it doesn’t make me look more masculine, it just makes me look like I lost weight.

6. I love the effects on my skin so far, but I’m not sure how to describe it. It’s less soft, but it’s not just the texture. It’s like the difference between a soft and hard pillow. Like my skin is rougher and “harder”. I didn’t realize how much I hated how soft my skin was until I started T and could touch the bonier places on my body (like the backs of my shoulders) and go “At least I have this”.

7. My back and shoulder muscles are growing in, especially since I’m swimming regularly. But they’re growing in underneath a very female-patterned fat distribution, which looks kinda goofy, not gonna lie.

8. I get sick way more easily, and that’s kind of annoying. I’ve gotten sick (just a cold) like three times since starting T. It’s driving me crazy.

9. I’m always hot as fuck. It’s getting worse now as summer is coming; I’m having so much trouble making it through the night. On the plus side I’m making my showers colder, which is doing wonders for the clarity of my skin. For the past couple of days my acne has been completely nonexistent.

10. Sleeping is more difficult for me, but I go through phases. I was doing okay for a while, but then it got hotter and I got sick again and I’ve been tired for like three days straight, unable to sleep properly.

11. I didn’t notice it much before, but now I’m like constantly oily. It’s not dripping down my face or anything, but I feel like I need to constantly clean myself. It’s annoying.

12. The smell downstairs is waaaay different. I smell like balls now. It was strange when it first started, but I actually like it a lot more than my smell before.

13. My junk is bigger! I measured it a couple days ago. I’m a solid 0.5 inches long, woo! It’s still fairly sensitive, but it’s doing better. Up until last week or so it was so sensitive I could barely touch the hood without it hurting, but it’s finally numbing up a little bit, thank the lord.

Mental changes:

14. My libido is... back? It’s very strange to me. So long as I don’t focus on PiV I’m a total horndog. I’ve been exploring a lot of different outlets and writing a lot of erotic stories. I’ve even been talking to someone that I met online about a lot of sexual things and I’m finding it very exciting. I like tease and denial a lot, and so long as I stay in that realm I’m very randy.

15. Along those lines, I feel a lot more upfront about sexual sort of things. I also take people up on their offers a lot easier, or I suggest stuff as well. I kind of went on a date this past weekend and at the end I was like “I kinda want to get high with you” and he’s like “We can arrange that”, which is a sentiment I’m not used to expressing. I guess I can more accurately pinpoint some of my desires? Not just sexual ones, but just doing things with other people.

16. My chest dysphoria has actually gone DOWN, which apparently is the opposite of what a lot of people experience. I’m not sure whether to chalk that up to just continuing excitement over being on T, or what. My brain sometimes actively tries to accept it as a part of my body. Thankfully I wasn’t preparing for surgery just yet, because the intensity is definitely something that would have thrown me off for surgery. There’s still a huge part of me that wants them removed but, to be honest, if I end up being okay with them I’m not willing to drop thousands to have them removed. If I can avoid surgery I’ll be all the happier for it.

17. More feminine things feel more okay to indulge in. I’ve been buying, making, and wearing dangly earring, and they’ve been more fun than frustrating. I’m growing my hair out. Some of the sexual things I’m indulging in are definitely with me playing the more feminine role. It all feels a lot safer and significantly less fraught with landmines.

18. Just asked my bestie what he thought my changes were, and he said that I’ve been more confident and more eager and happy, which I think are all good changes.

So those are all the ones that I can think of, which I guess is a lot. I definitely don’t pass as male, though I do sometimes get indications that people see me as male. It’s happened less than a handful of times in the past month, but I do have one student who consistently calls me “mister”, so there’s that. One of my coworkers I think has figured me out, but I’m not sure how that situation is going to pan out. I’ve gone out with a couple of people, and I’m pretty sure they all see me as a girl, which doesn’t really bother me (me being misgendered has never been stressful for me).

I intended to start in on my legal name change this month, but that hasn’t really happened. There’s a legal clinic attached to the clinic I get my drugz at that I called, but they haven’t called me back. I might talk to them next time I’m in. Since I’m probably going to be postponing top surgery I’m not too impatient to get my name change in to trigger a new health insurance event and get better health insurance so I can have the surgery arranged by the end of the year.

TL;DR: Lots of changes, still not passing and still look like a girl, but I don’t really care. I feel more like me than I have in my entire life.

#ftm #month update #writeup

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artificialqueens · 7 years ago

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When it all gets too much -(Shalaska) by Ty5000

A/N: I Know y’all are waiting for Soccer Punch but I’ve had a really bad few days and I didn’t want to take it out on that universes Sharon and Alaska so instead I wrote this monster oneshot. This is around 5k words which I didn’t event think I was capable of producing in one night but here you go I am really proud of this.

Massive Trigger warnings for eating disorders, depression, suicide and Self harm. It’s pretty dark but I wrote it as a kind of vent/ form of therapy please listen to the triggers and stay safe ily <3

P.S Its 6am and I’ve been writing all night so I proof read the best I could but there may be some mistakes.

Summary : College freshman Alaska suffered with poor mental health in the past and thought that she finally had it all in control until it all gets a little too much .

“Hi, it’s me, I’m just calling to say I won’t make it in today.” Alaska’s voice came out soft and quiet as if she hadn’t spoken all day, well she hadn’t so that made sense.

“Is everything okay sweetheart?” Her boss Kasha replied sounding genuinely concerned for her health.

“Yeah, I’m just not feeling well.” It wasn’t completely a lie she really didn’t feel just not the kind of unwell that you would expect. She wasn’t sure why she was expecting Kasha to believe that though, her boss was incredibly attentive and had made Alaska spill about her past with mental health when she had saw her taking her medication during her first week on the job.

“Okay, Well I’ll ask Courtney to cover your shift tonight it shouldn’t be a problem just let me know if you’ll make it in tomorrow.”

“Thanks Kasha.”

“Take care Alaska.” The older women replied with empathy that she pretended to not hear as she hung up the call.

Alaska let the phone fall from her hand onto her bed, there was nothing she hated more in the world than letting her mental state get in the way of her life. Since starting at university almost three months ago now she had done her best to stay on top of things and worked through the occasional bad spots more so as a distraction than anything else. She had always known in the back of her mind that going to college would be a lot of pressure and despite the doubts from her parents there was no way she wasn’t going to do it, performing arts was her dream and now that she was steadily on that path nothing was going to stop her.

Well that part wasn’t entirely true as it was 2’Oclock in the afternoon and her Broadway history class was just ending yet here she was curled up in bed the same place she had been since she woke up from a troubled sleep at 5am that morning.

That’s the thing about depression, the thing that most people don’t necessarily get: A depressive episode doesn’t need to be caused by anything (It can be of course.) but depression is funny like that it doesn’t need some sad event to rear its ugly head in fact often sadness doesn’t make you depressed, depression makes you sad. It makes you so sad that you almost can’t remember ever having felt anything else, and then just when you think you are used to the sadness it stings you deeper and makes you numb. Numb is okay right? numb is better than feeling miserable right? wrong. The numbness is what paralyses you, what drives you insane, leaves you bed ridden and wishing to just feel something.

Alaska had been feeling it for a week now, the beginning stages of a depressive episode. Her first one since… she thought she was in recovery. It had been over a year. Yet here she was again, and she recognised the feeling all too well: the ball of sadness, loneliness and general irritation brewing inside her, but she fought the urge to curl up on her sofa and instead choose to power through. She had too much at stake. Everyday she would wake up, shower, get ready and leave for class, eat her lunch, go to rehearsals, and then head off to work at the diner. Some days her girlfriend Sharon would come in on her way home from work and spend her break with her. They were both so busy during the week with college and jobs, so the hour of each others company was always welcomed. Routine was key, if she stuck to her routine she could beat this, that’s what the doctors had said.

However yesterday had been the downfall of it all.

Rehearsals weren’t going well. Half of the dancers were away on a field trip and the lead male was extremely hungover and constantly muddling up his lines. Alaska didn’t have a huge part in this play, as a freshman it was extremely difficult to get a notable part in any of the full class productions. As small as her three-lined part was she was just lucky to have a part at all. Only she wasn’t feeling lucky at all, they had been in this room for over half the allocated two hours rehearsal time and they weren’t even close to her lines. She was extremely tired having stayed up most of the night to study for her test in music theory which had caused her to sleep in and almost miss the test itself. Come lunch she had discovered that her wallet had been left at home, Alaska really tried not to skip meals after…. But this couldn’t be helped. Now here she was sitting in the old theatre which was cold in the late November weather and seemingly getting nowhere.

She thanked a god that she didn’t believe in that Wednesdays were her day off and that Sharon Didn’t need to be in work until 12pm on Thursdays meaning she would get to spend some long-overdue time with her girlfriend. Sharon had been so busy since starting her new job working at a popular alternative website keen to make a lasting impression that she didn’t get to see her as much anymore. The selfish part of her liked to awaken her self-doubt and tell her that Sharon didn’t care anymore but Alaska knew better than to let thoughts like that get to her. Sharon had been incredibly lucky to get her foot in the door of her dream job straight out of college and Alaska was happy for her. Really.

Finally, her theatre professor Miss Monsoon let them go, sending them off with a “Good work today people.” That Alaska couldn’t bring herself to believe.

She left the building and walked the ten minutes to her flat in what felt like a record speed beyond excited to be away from the cold for the day and back in the comfort of her own home.

Once safely back at home, curled up on the sofa under a blanket with a mug of warm tea to heat her up and also to curb off the hunger until she could eat with Sharon she pulled out her phone to text her girlfriend.

To : Noodles (at 5.36pm)

God, I have had the worst day I think the worlds out to get me!

What time are you coming over? I need pizza and cuddles.

She casually flipped through some pizza menus mentally preparing her order as she awaited her response

To: Lasky (at 5:40pm)

I’m sorry Lasky I promised Raja I’d work late tonight, we need to finish that article on some cool new punk band but the research department didn’t bother to fact check so I promised I’d help out. Raincheck?

Alaska sighed deeply, of course the world would be so against her today that she couldn’t even have the one thing she had been looking forward to all day.

To: Noodles (at 5:41pm)

You work too hard ☹

I miss you

To: Lasky (at 5:43pm)

I know

I’ll come to the diner on your break tomorrow okay x

To: Noodles (at 5:44pm)

Okay <3

It wasn’t okay.

Alaska’s eyes burned with tears, she felt stupid for crying over something so trivial, but she couldn’t help it, she had been holding onto this one good thing throughout all the shit she’d dealt with today and now it was gone and with it went any remains of a good mood. Just like that the plug she had firmly pressed down over her feelings for the past week was pulled and a wave of surprised emotions emerged sinking the ship that was Alaska. Once the tears started they didn’t stop, she cried and cried a cocktail of sadness, anger, loneliness , exhaustion and stress. Loud aggressive sobs wracked her small frame, her hands reached up to grab her hair pulling tightly as her teeth dug into her lip subduing the urge to scream.

When she finally got herself somewhat under control a good while later her chest was tight and breathing erratic due to her sobbing, her throat and eyes burnt like fire, her head was pounding like a small army was marching on her brain and her bottom lip throbbed angrily from where she had bit down. A stinging in her arm drew her attention down where she discovered angry red scratch marks from where she had subconsciously dug her nails into her skin. It wasn’t by far the worst she had done in the past but staring down at the bright red standing out on top of the white skin already flawed from the past. This is when she realised she was in too deep and she needed someone. She needed Sharon.

To Noodles ( at 7:12pm)

Are you done with work?

Normally Alaska wouldn’t want to bother Sharon with her problems, she always felt that Sharon saw her as a child and found her poor mental health to be an inconvenience more than anything else. She put this down to the fact that she was 18 and could easily be easily seen as a child in the eyes of her 21 year old college graduate girlfriend. Being a freshman who could barely juggle her classes, part time job and social commitments without a daily dose of prescribed medication being seen as immature or too much for her girlfriend to handle was one of biggest insecurities. Sharon however despite appearing to be much more mature with her full-time job right out of college in her chosen field, her own apartment which she had gotten without special circumstances unlike Alaska and a cat was not perfect and had her own problems too. She worried endlessly about the wellbeing of her girlfriend and would never consider her lesser because of her past no matter what Alaska thought.

- - -

Alaska and Sharon first met the previous December almost a whole year ago at the university open day, Alaska had begged her mom to let her come. Her Mother had been hesitant due to the fact her daughter had just been released from the hospital and was unsure if college was such a good idea in her state, especially one three states over that she wouldn’t be able to get to in an emergency but eventually she gave in agreeing that maybe it’s exactly the distraction she needed.

Alaska had bumped into Sharon within her first half an hour in the building, there she was standing behind the information stall for the GSA with two other people who Alaska would come to know as Danny and Katya not that she really noticed them at first, all she saw was the tall girl with the dyed grey hair and black lipstick wearing the torn misfits shirt. She remembered how self-conscious she felt in her black skinny jeans and her pink sweater practically falling off her body as she wobbled like a baby deer towards the stall. She remembered their first words, Sharon being as overly confident and bold as normal and Alaska being shy and quiet in a way that must have come across endearing. She remembers getting more freebies from that stall than anyone else. (she knows this because one of the stickers had a phone number scrawled across it.) She remembers the first time they met up and how lovely it was, she remembers the conversation where they agreed that they had to stay just friends at least until she turned eighteen and she remembers finding her closest friend at GSA stall.

She recalls the night about two months later when her sleeve rolled up too far in the car and Sharon caught sight of her scars. That was the night she told her everything. She told her how she felt worthless how the smart kids thought she was dumb and how the theatre kids didn’t think she was good enough, she told her how she would try to starve herself to perfection and how she’d dig a blade into her skin to punish herself and cry herself to sleep almost every night. She told her about that Halloween night when it all got to much and she chased a bottle of pills with a litre of vodka and went for a bath. She remembers crying, she remembers Sharon crying and she remembers feeling proud for the first time as she tells her that she’s getting better and she really believes it.

She remembers her eighteenth birthday a month later how she celebrated the day with her family and a close group of friends but really all she wanted was for the next day to be here when she could spend it with Sharon. She remembers that day so well how she took her ice skating and to a vegan restaurant because she knew high calorie foods still stressed her out. She remembers the ride home and kissing her goodnight.

She remembers getting her first girlfriend and being happy and confident for once, Sharon makes her happy and confident. (not all the time no one is capable of that, but she helps.) She remembers crying down the phone to her girlfriend when she got the acceptance letter. She remembers her girlfriend crying on her at her graduation because she didn’t know what she was doing with her with life. She remembers the road trip back for her own high school graduation. She remembers how she didn’t go to prom instead she spent her prom night with her girlfriend kissing every inch of her and calling her beautiful and making her see stars all night long.

She also remembers their first fight like it was yesterday. It was the week Alaska moved into her apartment a few days after classes had begun and Sharon was constantly on her back trying to help and offering to do practically everything and worst of all, constantly asking her if she had remembered to take her medication that day. To an outsider it’s an innocent question, a nice incentive but to Alaska it was patronising and made her feel like she couldn’t take care of herself. Of course, when she told this to Sharon she had gotten offended and it had ended in a huge fight. It had been loud and quick with both parties failing to see the others valid view. It ended soon enough with Sharon finally realising that she may have been full on and apologising for worrying and assuring Alaska that she knew she could cope. She finished of her apology with one last line before they cuddled up on the sofa to watch The Golden Girls.

“Just remember if it ever gets to be to much I’ll be here, no questions and no judgement.”

And that is how Alaska fell asleep curled in on herself on the sofa with makeup stained checks and her phone in her hand, thoughts of Sharon running through her head.

- - -

When Alaska jolted awake it was dark out and her mouth was dry, she stumbled blindly into the kitchen for a glass of water, relishing in the brief relief its coolness brought her before moving through the living room, grabbing her phone on her way to the bedroom. Her movements seemed robotic almost working on memory rather than necessity as she whipped of her tear streaked makeup and changed into sweats and a comfortable shirt. She didn’t bother with her usual routine of moisturising or brushing her hair or teeth instead just pulling her hair out of her already messy bun and crawling into the comfort of her bed. Only then did she allow herself to check her phone, the bright screen blinded her momentarily and made her migraine call out in anguish, quickly she turned the brightness all the way down before daring to look again.

The time on the top corner informed her it was almost ten thirty meaning she had been asleep for just over three hours, not that it did anything she was still exhausted. Both mentally and physically.

She pulled down her notification menu to see she had one missed call from her mother (she’ll check that later.) and one text from Sharon. She clicked on quickly eager for a nice distraction from her mind.

To: Lasky (at 9:43pm)

I told you I was working late, I just got home.

Is everything okay?

Alaska paused there was one of two ways she could reply, and she wasn’t sure which would be worse.

To: Noodles ( at 10:29pm)

No. I’m getting bad again Sharon.

I’m scared, I need you please come over.

Her finger paused over the send button, if she sent that she knew Sharon would worry and come over right away with comforting words and soft touches but part of her, the part that had won the battle earlier told her that Sharon would be laughing at how pathetic she was being. Surely, she could get through this without her, she wasn’t a kid after all.

She deleted the message and started again.

To : Noodles (at 10:31pm)

Everything’s Fine I just miss you.

No, it’s not.

To: Lasky (at 10:32pm)

Are u sure?

To : Noodles (at 10:33pm)

Yeah.

No.

See you tomorrow <3

To: Lasky (at 10:34pm)

See u tomorrow bby

I love you

No, you don’t.

To : Noodles (at 10:35pm)

I love you back .

She locked her phone and placed it on the nightside and rolled into her usual sleeping position, not that she was expecting to get much sleep in this condition. So, she lay there lonely and let her thoughts take over.

Her brain tortured her all night reminding her of every wrong move, every stupid question, every time she messed up her lines, every rejection email and every failed attempt at friendship through her life. She’s flashed back to the one party she went to in high school where she hadn’t eaten more than a banana in almost 2 days got super drunk super quick and threw up and passed out in the living room of an acquaintance. Absolutely any memory that she wanted to forget resurfaced over the next two hours.

Just when Alaska was beginning to become exhausted and hot tears were burning behind her eyes as she was pleading with her head to just shut up and let her sleep the worst memory was projected to her. Halloween night 2017.

She still remembers it like it was yesterday. It wasn’t a spontaneous decision made in the climax of a mental breakdown like it’s portrayed in the movies, no this was a carefully planned for and researched event. Let’s be clear by this point Alaska was pretty secure in the fact that she was dying even if she didn’t directly “pull the trigger” herself she was still dying, she was wasting away with each skipped meal but that was too slow, and she couldn’t wait any longer. It wasn’t an emotional decision for her it was just something that had to be done and it should scare her how little she cared about the impending end of her life. She was numb.

The letter had been written almost two weeks in advance, the Pills secured from a source she couldn’t disclose and finally as an extra measure she had stolen a litre of vodka from the local store. She felt no remorse or guilt for that either. She was numb.

She chose Halloween because it was her favourite day, the only day where she felt like she could be anyone without judgment, the only day where she didn’t have to be herself. It made sense to her to go out on the best day rather than on the “worst day of her life.” A nice ending, not that she deserved it.

When the day comes, she takes care of herself, she sleeps in till 10am, later than she’s slept in so long. She changes into a dress that she had meant to wear to the schools Halloween ball that night, Its short black and lacey with hues of green glitter. It was meant to be part of a witch costume, but she much prefers this use. A glance in the mirror brings her to tears; she looks beautiful, she looks like she’s already dead. She had planned to indulge in one last meal, a cheese cake she’d picked out herself but decided against it, what if her parents wanted an open casket?

Before she knows it, she’s sitting cross legged on her bed, the bath is already waiting. She lays the pills out in rows and takes them two at a time with a mouthful of vodka in between each until she starts to feel fuzzy, not drunk fuzzy, this was different. She took this as her sign to go to the bathroom. She got in with the rest of the vodka just in case and waited and waited and waited. She had to way to tell how long it had been, but she was sure it was hours, her parents must be due home any moment. Just as panic began to set in and she really began to worry about what exactly she had did wrong her ears began to ring and black spots appeared in her vision.

She doesn’t remember much after that, in fact the next few days are a blur of screaming, crying, pain, needles and doctors. She knows that her mom found her in the bath covered in vomit and called an ambulance.

Once at the hospital they pumped her stomach, gave her various IVs with different things such as medication, fluids, and nutrients that her malnourished body craved. She was placed on suicide watch for a week and was admitted to a physch ward where her “recovery process” began but of course her mind didn’t want to focus on the positives.

- - -

Alaska is brought back to reality then a shaking, crying mess. She’s slick with sweat and her heart is pounding at speeds that should be considered dangerous, it’s the same flashback she’d wake up from in the weeks following her attempt screaming and crying but she hadn’t thought about this in so long and she hadn’t been ready to live through it again.

She sprints to the bathroom as waves of anxious nausea make her dizzy, hardly making it as she spits bile into the toilet bowl. It does act as a cold reminder that she hasn’t eaten today. She briefly remembers her sessions with Doctor Visage who has helped her establish an eating schedule to help keep herself on track, she hadn’t really stuck to that in over a week now.

Once her breathing had returned to normal she manages to get herself a glass of water and a protein bar, which she just manages to finish before she passes out into a dreamless sleep.

- - -

Which brings us back to where we left off on Thursday Afternoon.

After the guilt of blowing off her shift for a mental health day had worn off slightly Alaska made the mistake of checking her emails. She didn’t have many as she usually stayed on top of them pretty well, but she did have an email from her Broadway History professor sent only a few minutes ago waiting for her. The subject line “you were absent in class today.” Made the details of the email very clear but never the less she opened it.

To: [email protected]

From :[email protected]

Subject : You were absent in class today

Hi Alaska,

I see that you were absent today, I am sure you had a very good excuse which I would be understanding about had you notified me before hand as per college protocall!

You missed a fair bit today so please get in contact with me as soon as you can.

Prof.J.Monsoon

Alaska closed out the app as soon as she was finished reading and threw her phone onto her bed, she was not in the right frame of mind to be dealing with whatever work load was waiting for her and she didn’t want any added stress she was already on the constant brink of yet another breakdown.

Instead she chose to listen to her body and attempt to make herself some food. She started of slowly easing her sore body our of bed for the first time in over twelve hours. She entered the bathroom and washed her face which felt swollen from all the crying, she made sure to avoid the mirrors as she did this.

“Okay Alaska you’re doing so good, baby steps.” She whispered to herself as she made her way into the kitchen. This was already so much more than she could handle in a normal depressive episode, but she was determined that this wasn’t going to beat her this time.

She opened the cabinet and tried desperately to ignore that voice that yelled out the calorie count for everything she saw. Soup, yes soup was safe she told herself. The next step was to get a pot and turn on the stove. She could do this.

From her bedroom she heard her phone ding with a notification, but it could wait she decided, distractions weren’t a good idea right now.

Once the stove was hot enough she poured the can of soup into the pot and began to stir it. She was doing so well.

Suddenly the phone began to ring startling Alaska from her train of thought and causing her to drop the spoon. And that’s when it happened.

As she was coming back up from picking up the spoon she accidently nudged the edge of the pot causing it to topple over and spill hot soup right onto Alaska’s bare feet.

“Fuck!” She screamed out as the hot liquid burned her skin. She Jumped away from the mess attempting to find a cloth to clean it up.

“Why are there no fucking cloths!” She yelled as her hand reached up to pull at her hair in frustration.

Her phone began to ring again. “Shut up” She suddenly screamed at the object in question. “shut up shut up shut up shut up!” hot tears burned behind her eyes. God why couldn’t she do anything right.

She turned around quickly remembering that there were some clean clothes in the cupboard above the stove, as she did this she slipped on the soup puddle on the floor. She reached out to grab onto something to save herself and slammed her arm down onto the hot stove. She yanked it away almost immediately with a yelp of pain but instead of running to put the burn under running water she pressed her finger against the inflicted area and winced at the searing pain.

Oh no.

Before she knew what she was doing Alaska was pressing her other wrist down onto the hot stove, and again and again and again until she was sobbing and shaking with the pain.

Unable to take anymore and completely mentally exhausted she slid to the floor and wrapped her arms around her knees crying out brokenly.

At this exact moment the door opened.

“Alaska baby?” Sharon’s voice called out from the hallway clear worry evident in her voice. “Are you home? I went by the diner after work like we planned, and Courtney said you called in sick.”

Alaska bit her lip to stifle her sobs as Sharon came closer to the kitchen, it was a fruitless attempt as she would have to find her eventually.

“Alaska?” She called again “You’re worrying me sweetheart.”

Alaska closed her eyes now preparing for the worst as the footsteps reached the edge of the door way. No going back now.

Sharon gasped as she turned the corner into the kitchen, she probably would have screamed if she had been capable of making any noise at the moment instead she stared at the scene in front of her before bouncing into action.

“Lasky, what happened?” She asked kneeling down beside her and reaching out to touch her shoulder.

Alaska jerked away from Sharon’s touch like it was searing hot, she didn’t deserve this she didn’t deserve to be treated so nice she’d ruined everything. She wanted Sharon to yell to tell her how she’d fucked up and how much of a mess she was but instead the older women just looked at her with sympathy and hurt shinning in her teary eyes. That’s what broke Alaska’s shield. She had cried so much in the last twenty-four hours out of frustration and anger and hurt and exhaustion but this time when the tears started it was an over flow of sadness and of realisation. If she had asked for help last night when she felt herself reach breaking point maybe she wouldn’t be in this position, but she was too scared or too proud and now here she is in the middle of a complete relapse after eleven months and she truly hates herself for that.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry” Alaska cried out, she wasn’t sure if she was apologising to Sharon, to herself or just because it felt like the right thing to say in this situation.

“Shh it’s okay, it’s okay.” Sharon whispered almost as if she was too scared to speak any louder and scare her off. She reached out to touch her shoulder again only this time Alaska didn’t shy away and instead collapsed into her touch sobbing uncontrollably. Sharon let her lay on her and rubbed her back for as long as she needed until the sobbing subdued.

Alaska lifted herself from Sharon’s lap, hyper aware of the pain that radiated from almost every part of her body.

“I’m sorry you had to see that.” She rasped, her voice hoarse from crying for so long.

“Don’t be, I’m glad I got her before…” Sharon didn’t dare finish her sentence. “You should have told me you were suffering again.”

“I didn’t want to be a burden. You’ve got so much going for you right now and you’re so busy you don’t need a mentally ill kid girl friend too.”

“Hey, no don’t you talk like that.” Sharon began frowning slightly. “I knew exactly what I was getting myself into when we started dating, I always knew this was a possibility, god I hoped it wouldn’t, but I always knew it might and I’d be an asshole if I was willing to throw away the best thing that ever happened to me because she was hurting.” It was Sharon’s turn to cry this time a rare site.

“Do you remember what I said to you after our first fight?” She asked.

Alaska shook her head.

“I said that If it ever got to much again I’d be there. I meant that then and I mean it now, you got through this before and we can get you through it again. It’s going to be okay. You are going to be okay.”

- - -

She was going to be okay.

Not right away because that’s not how these things work, it’s going to take a lot of hard work, a lot of pain and tears and self-discovery but in the end, she’ll be okay. Because if it’s not okay then it’s not the end.

#when it all gets too much #ty5000 #alaska thunderfuck #sharon needles #tw suicide #tw self harm #tw depression #tw eating disorder #rpdr fanfiction #submission #college au #lesbian au

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klcrisistine · 4 years ago

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In Reverse

Lucas exited the office building that evening with a sigh. It hadn’t been a good day. A difficult production issue, countless customer complaints, and several impatient customer success representatives turned his day into a nightmare.

Now, Lucas had a terrible headache and slightly trembling hands. But he felt relieved to be finally out of the suffocating office building. Unfortunately, it seemed that rotten luck wasn’t ready to leave him. Heavy rain pounded on the roof of the building porch and of course, everything that lay beyond it. He rummaged in his old navy blue knapsack for his umbrella but he seemed unable to find it. He must have forgotten it at home. The first time in a while. Great, just great.

Sighing again, he walked down a narrow gravel path toward an old shed where he could find a jeepney to take him home. The path was roofed. But the rain was so harsh and the winds so frighteningly strong that the absence of the roof would not have made much of a difference. Cold water sprinkled Lucas’ face and drenched his white polo shirt and brown trousers. He wanted to walk more briskly but the path was wet and slippery. Left and right, people pushed past him, some on their way towards the clutches of the ferocious rain to get home, others about to clock in at work to begin their shift. Lucas didn’t know who he pitied more.

Lucas was freezing by the time the path had ended. Clutching his shivering arms, he ran as quickly and carefully as he could in the rain toward the nearest opened establishment: a bright and crowded KFC restaurant. He pushed the door open and immediately tried to dry his shoes on a mat by the entrance. Using a handkerchief he kept inside his pants pocket, he wiped his face and arms.

Lucas heaved a sigh and looked outside through the glass entrance. He could barely see a thing through the pounding rain. Unwilling to take an evening shower in the rain in his office clothes, he decided to join the line of people in front of the counter to order a modest dinner: fried chicken, white rice, and a bowl of mushroom soup. He might as well eat a good meal while waiting for the rain to stop pouring.

After thanking the petite young lady at the counter, Lucas took the tray containing his orders, and searched for a seat. It seemed as though many people were doing what Lucas had planned to do. All of the tables seemed occupied. Still, he walked around the restaurant, looking for someone who seemed willing to share a table with him.

Near the back of the establishment, by the waste bins and the restrooms, was a table with benches, occupied by a young man who didn’t seem to be eating. His table was clear. Perhaps he was waiting for someone? Lucas eyed him curiously. He seemed to be deep in thought, staring at the ceiling, his chin resting on hands clasped together. He looked strangely familiar.

Lucas abruptly stopped in his tracks. Only when he stood right by the table where the young man sat did he recognize who he was. He blinked hard several times, unable to believe his eyes. It couldn’t be him. It just couldn’t be. Was he hallucinating? Perhaps the young man just looked very much like the person he knew...

Lucas! the young man said suddenly, very pleasantly surprised. I can’t believe I ran into you!

Lucas didn’t know what to say. He stood rooted to the spot, trying to comprehend what was happening. The young man in front of him had died, he was absolutely sure of it. He was sure of it because he had been the one to lay him to rest.

There actually wasn’t much to it. No, it didn’t happen instantaneously. But the young man’s death wasn’t the result of an elaborate scheme. Lucas didn’t even need a weapon. He didn’t have to tell any lies or secretly purchase any poisonous substances. He had simply stopped paying the young man any attention. He had simply refused to acknowledge the young man’s existence. Until he no longer existed.

Nobody noticed the young man’s death. Nobody but Lucas actually knew him. The young man only appeared to Lucas, after all. He lived in Lucas’ room, slept in Lucas’ bed, and never felt the need to eat. The young man would only go out of Lucas’ room to watch Lucas sing and play his old steel-stringed guitar onstage every once in a while at a local bar or coffee shop. He was Lucas’ only real fan. He kept Lucas calm and increased by one the number of members in the audience who actually paid Lucas any attention.

When the young man died, nobody noticed that anything was wrong. Nobody could tell that deep inside, Lucas was mourning. Yes, though it was Lucas who had decided to end the young man’s life, Lucas was deeply saddened by what had happened. The young man, after all, had once been one of Lucas’ best friends. The young man was more than a friend, as a matter of fact -- he was a part of Lucas’ person. He dreamed big dreams for Lucas, created a wonderful future for him in his mind, and counted on endless possibilities, giving Lucas the will to overcome all the frustrating obstacles that came his way.

But the young man was never realistic. He never saw what Lucas had seen when barely anyone in the audience clapped for him. Or when he failed an audition for the umpteenth time.

“I don’t think I’m good enough for this,” Lucas had admitted to the young man once.

Yes, you are. You just have to keep trying. It’s not exactly an easy industry to get into, the young man had said, so sure of himself. But you’re very talented.

Yes, Lucas was skilled at the guitar. He had, after all, started playing very young. It all began when, at eight years old, Lucas had grown fond of a musical TV show about a young singer-songwriter who wrote and performed the soundtrack to his own life as he lived an ordinary adolescent life. The protagonist would strum his guitar and sing, miraculously transforming his experiences and emotions into beautiful, heartfelt music.

Lucas was mesmerized. He didn’t know why but he was all of a sudden compelled to follow the young songwriter’s footsteps, create the soundtrack to his life, and share it with the world. And so on one historical afternoon, more than two decades ago, Lucas had picked up his father’s guitar and taught himself to play. He began to read his father’s old books on guitar playing and would play the instrument every night after school until his fingers would tremble in pain. He would even play for hours on the weekends, looking for new pieces to learn, watching and listening to his heroes play over and over so that he could imitate them perfectly. It didn’t take too long until his fingers could fly gracefully over the guitar strings on the fretboard. He would effortlessly strum the strings of his old guitar magically, producing unbelievable melodies and harmonies.

But Lucas hadn’t just dreamed of becoming a guitarist. He had wanted to be a singer-songwriter. The problem was, he wasn’t an amazing singer. Yes, he could sing songs in tune. But his voice didn’t stand out. And his face wasn’t what record labels could call the face of a celebrity.

“I think it’s time for me to stop, man,” Lucas had said to the young man. “I’m just...not going anywhere.”

But you could be so close, the young man replied, refusing to allow Lucas to give up. You can’t stop now.

You can’t stop now. Those were the words the young man kept repeating to Lucas. It was like he was at a casino, playing an addicting game of roulette. He’d place his bets every round, hoping and hoping that this time, he would finally be victorious. But he always lost. And he would always continue to lose. Lucas was sure of that.

And hearing the young man go on and on about perseverance and Lucas’ supposed inevitable success hurt him very much. The best is yet to come. Keep practicing, keep making music. Try to audition for this. Sign up to perform at this event. You’ll get better. You’ll start getting good gigs...

Lucas was sick of it all. He knew what he needed to do and he had done it successfully.

Or so he thought.

The young man wasn’t dead. He stood in front of Lucas at this very moment, looking exactly like he did when Lucas had last seen him. He was even wearing the same clothes: a pair of maong pants, a plain white shirt, and a black leather jacket. The young man was smiling widely, almost mockingly saying: Did you actually think you could get rid of me so easily?

Hello? Earth to Lucas! the young man said loudly, snapping his fingers inches from Lucas’ face. Sit down, sit down.

Lucas didn’t know what else to do. He sat in front of his old friend, mortified, almost certain he was seeing a ghost.

Come on Lucas, say something, the young man prompted him. Aren’t you glad to see me?

Lucas swallowed. “I don’t know.” He closed his eyes tightly and slapped each of his cheeks. He opened his eyes. The young man still sat in front of him.

“I don’t understand. I thought you were...”

Dead? The young man laughed out loud. To be honest, I thought so too.

“So...what happened?”

That’s what I’d like to know, the young man replied, shrugging innocently.

“You think I could tell you what happened?” Lucas asked, extremely perplexed.

I think you could clear out some things for me. And I could do the same for you. Hopefully, together, we would make sense of the whole thing.

Lucas heaved another sigh. He had already sighed so many times today. “Fine,” Lucas said.

The young man grinned. Great!

“Why do you keep smiling?”

The young man laughed. He threw his arms into the air and cheered: It just feels so good to be alive again!

Lucas looked around consciously. The young man’s mannerisms had always been loud. Everything about him, in fact, was loud: his rockstar getup, his voice, his annoying smile. Fortunately, no one in the restaurant seemed to be paying them any mind.

“Keep your voice down,” Lucas hushed him.

What’s wrong? No one else can hear me. You know that. I can be as loud as I want to be.

“Aren’t you mad at me?”

For what? For trying to kill me?

Lucas nodded, feeling remorseful.

The young man cackled in laughter again. I didn’t have the time to be angry, did I? I was gone before I knew exactly what was happening to me. And when I regained consciousness, how could I be angry? Of course, I was absolutely overjoyed!

“But you knew that I once tried to get rid of you,” Lucas protested.

Yes, but you brought me back. And that’s what really matters. the young man explained. You realized that what you did was wrong. And that’s good enough for me.

“Brought you back? I didn’t bring you back.”

Who else could have?

Lucas didn’t reply. He was still so confused. How could he have brought the young man he loathed so much back to life, back into his life? Could the incident a couple of days ago have something to do with what was happening?

Do you want to know how it feels like to die? The young man suddenly broke the silence and Lucas’ train of thought. The young man had always been very loquacious. He seemed to hate silence.

“Sure, why not?” Lucas groaned, rolling his eyes.

Actually, I don’t know if I really died. Maybe I did. But only for a little while. It was like falling asleep. At first, I could only see darkness, the kind that you see when you close your eyes at night before really falling asleep. Then I lost consciousness. I didn’t know it at the time, of course. I was in the middle of deep, dreamless sleep. I couldn’t think or feel anything. I didn’t even know whether I was breathing or not.

Then, a couple of weeks ago, I just found that once again, I was alive. I didn’t know how much time had passed. Not until, I saw the month and year on the calendar your parents hung over a hook on the front door.

“You woke up in my old bedroom,” Lucas noted, staring blankly in the distance.

Yes. I did. But you were no longer there. Figured you must have decided to live on your own. You’ve always said you wanted to do that when you were still living with your family.

“How did you find where I live?”

The young man chuckled. I didn’t. But I remembered the name and the approximate location of the place where you worked. It took some time for me to find it, of course. And it took even more time to actually chance upon you. I guess I got...lucky. Because you didn’t think to switch jobs and because I ran into you today.

“Have you just been loitering around here, waiting for me to run into you?” Lucas asked, unable to believe the lengths at which the young man had gone to find him.

Yeah! the young man replied proudly. I was actually a little upset when the rain started pouring because I thought I had less chances of running into you. But lo and behold, here we are!

“Great,” Lucas said sarcastically.

Oh come on, Lucas. Can’t you at least pretend you’re happy we’ve been reunited? the young man said, pouting.

“I’ll try,” Lucas lied.

Good! the young man exclaimed, a grin returning to his face. Anyway, how are you? Doing pretty well for yourself, eh?

Lucas bit the corner of his lip and looked up. “I guess...I mean I am paying for all of my own expenses now. And I do at least have some money saved up.”

Are you happy?

“What do you think?”

Probably not.

“Why do you say so?”

The young man smiled wider than ever before before responding: Because I’m suddenly not dead.

Lucas clenched a fist beneath the table. The young man was right.

Anyway, since we already brought up the subject of my returning to life all of a sudden, something must have happened, right? Something important? the young man said with confidence. Want to tell me what it is?

Lucas clicked his tongue and slapped his forehead. Suddenly, he saw things clearly. There was no doubt about it. The young man had returned because...

“I started playing again.”

The young man raised his arms and looked up, as though he were thanking a higher being. Amazing! Just, amazing! he exclaimed. Tell me what happened! Tell me everything! he excitedly demanded, leaning forward in his seat.

“I don’t know...I mean I don’t understand what happened...” Lucas uselessly replied.

What happened!

Lucas recounted the events of an evening not unlike those that came before it. He had arrived in his apartment at around 7:30, ate leftover spaghetti from the fridge and took a hot shower.

Lucas had once again brought home his laptop from work so that he could finish the task that was assigned to him -- a script to execute a database migration. The task wasn’t too difficult. But it did take some time to accomplish and since he’d had to attend many meetings during the day, he hadn’t had the time to make any progress on it.

He didn’t know what else to do at home so he decided to do some work. But while reading through a long document about database user roles, he dozed off. And he dreamt a beautiful, vivid dream.

In the dream, he sat on a stool and held his beloved old guitar. A spotlight shone over him. Only him. A few feet from where he sat, there was nothing but darkness. Nothing but pure silence waiting to be broken. Without a single thought or hesitation, Lucas placed one hand on the fretboard skillfully and plucked the strings of the guitar. Sweet, gentle music filled the vast nothingness. It made his heart sing. In that one beautiful moment, nothing but the music and his continuous playing seemed to matter.

Lucas awoke from the dream in tears. He wept louder than he ever had in a long time. He was practically wailing. Never in his life had he felt so empty, so hungry. Without really thinking, he quickly stood from his seat, desperately grabbed his old guitar from a large, dusty wooden cabinet, and began to tune it. Once he was satisfied, he turned off the ceiling light, turned on a small lamp and began to play...

Hmm...so a dream made you do it, the young man commented after hearing the story. I’m not surprised.

"Why not?" Lucas asked, curious.

Dreams have the capability to reveal what has been hidden in the very back of people's minds. You chose to forget something very important to you. Did you actually think you could get rid of it completely?

Lucas frowned in response. The young man made a fair point.

It all makes sense now! This is wonderful! the young man said all of a sudden, clapping his hands. We're back in business then.

"Wait a minute!" Lucas protested. "Back in business? What exactly do you mean?"

You know what I mean. It's time to pick up where we left off, the young man explained, beaming at Lucas.

"I completely disagree! Yes, I started playing again. It doesn't mean I want to go back to the way things were!"

Well, that's a problem. Because I'm back and you don't have a choice, the young man said matter-of-factly.

"Yes, I do. I do have a choice," Lucas said. "I can choose to get rid of you like I did before."

The young man cackled, clutching his stomach. Like you did before? Did you really do it? If you did, then how come I can laugh in front of you like this?

Lucas grunted in response.

My dear, dear, Lucas, if there is one thing I have become sure of after everything I have been through, it's that you can never ever really get rid of me. I will just keep coming back. Stronger than ever before, the young man said, sitting straighter and taller.

“Just because you came back once, doesn’t mean you’ll be able to do it again,” Lucas reasoned out. “Besides, what makes you so sure I’m willing to do what you tell me?”

Who said I was sure? the young man replied, shrugging. In all honesty, you’re the most difficult part of this whole situation. I don’t understand why you’re getting in the way of your own happiness.

Lucas shook his head. “You’re assuming you know what will make me happy--”

I do know. I believe it’s you who don’t.

“I know!” Lucas bellowed, slamming his fists against the table. Silence immediately followed. Several heads turned. A number of conversations turned to whispers.

Now, look what you’ve done, the young man said, sneering.

Lucas no longer said another word. He slung his knapsack over his shoulder and quickly left the restaurant. His head was bowed in shame. And his fists were clenched in anger. He didn’t dare look back. He kept walking on, even when heavy rain began to pour over his head and down his body.

What are you doing? the young man called out. He seemed to be not too far behind Lucas.

“Taking a walk!” Lucas replied furiously, not turning to look at the young man.

In this storm?

“Yes!”

Do you do this often? the young man asked, the sound of his voice much louder. Lucas walked on as fast as he could, not saying a word.

Where are you going? the young man bellowed, frustrated.

Where was he going? Lucas wasn’t sure. He didn’t want to go home. The young man would just keep following him. And he didn’t want him to know where he lived.

So Lucas kept walking, letting his feet lead the way. Not much later, he had found himself walking down the narrow, shaded, pathway that he had traversed earlier in the evening. This time, however, he was going in the reverse direction. He was heading back towards his office. Unlike before, the path was nearly deserted.

You’re going back to work? the young man asked, still tailing him.

“None of your business. Leave me alone,” Lucas said through gritted teeth. His office was only a few feet away now. But he rushed past it, remembering the terrible day he had had to endure.

Are you trying to tire me out so I would stop following you? the young man asked yet another question.

Lucas didn’t respond.

Unlucky for you, I don’t get tired, the young man bragged. The rain can’t make me sick, either. Just saying, in case you’ve forgotten.

Lucas continued to stay silent, walking down the wet and muddy gravel path that cut through acres of trimmed grasses. It was starting to get even more difficult to see where he was going. The rain continued to blur his surroundings. And now he had strayed too far from where the office buildings stood. There were barely any street lamps around.

Still, Lucas kept walking. He walked and walked until he stood at the edge of a lake. The wind blew more icily cold here. Just a few feet away, the dark water rose rapidly as the rain continued to pour. He took a deep breath and clutched his arms, taking in his new surroundings.

I’m gonna be honest, the young man spoke all of a sudden. I don’t know why we’re here.

Lucas tried to catch his breath before responding. The young man’s voice had startled him. He had nearly forgotten that he was not alone. He just wanted to get away from everything. It was unfortunate that he couldn’t.

“Why don’t you ever get tired of following me?” Lucas groaned.

I already told you I don’t get tired, the young man replied.

“Don’t you have other things to do?”

Nope, the young man said.

“Ugh!” Lucas screamed in frustration, turning to the young man. “How will I ever get rid of you?”

I told you, you can’t.

Lucas crossed his arms and gazed at the dark lake. The sky continued to pelt cats and dogs into the mysterious waters. Lucas wondered how deep the lake really was. Even in the day, it had always been difficult to tell. Could the rising, troubled waters kill someone who didn’t know how to swim?

“Won’t pushing you into this lake kill you?” Lucas thought aloud.

The young man laughed cacophonously. Why don’t you try?

Lucas darted toward the young man and grabbed his arms. He attempted to pull him towards the edge of the lake but the young man skillfully stood his ground. Lucas was barely able to move him an inch.

Didn’t I tell you? the young man said coldly. I grew stronger. You can’t beat me. You have nothing. The young man broke free from Lucas’ grip with a big tug and pushed Lucas down. Lucas painfully landed on his back with a thud. The stone floor beneath him was wet and cold and unbreakable. He tried to stand but he couldn’t. So he just dangerously lay there, near the mouth of a hungry, black lake.

You have nothing...Lucas repeated the young man’s words in his head. Tears began to cloud Lucas’ vision. The young man was right.

The young man looked down at him, beaming. I could easily kick you into the lake, he threatened. I could replace you completely. No one would suspect a thing. I could live your life better than you can--

“You can’t do that! You’re bluffing!” Lucas retorted, his voice trembling. But even he wasn’t so sure of his own words.

I haven’t lied to you about anything yet, the young man menacingly said in reply. Why would I do so now? I’ve prepared for this. I knew there was a chance you would push away.

There was silence.

Lucas gazed at the young man through tears. The young man had grown stronger. Lucas had once tried to kill him but he only grew stronger. He grew stronger because Lucas couldn’t live without him. Lucas had once breathed so much life and soul into him that he seemed to have nothing left. Whether he kept pushing the young man away or let him dictate the direction of his life, he would always be miserable. He could never be happy.

“Kill me,” Lucas finally said. “What are you waiting for?”

Y-you’re not even going to fight? the young man asked, taken aback.

“I don’t see the point...”

The young man punched Lucas’ right cheek. Fight me!

Lucas said and did nothing. The young man punched the same cheek once again. Why won’t you fight back? Fight me or beg me to come back!

No response.

Do something! the young man cried.

“I don’t see the point,” Lucas whispered, his sobs growing louder. “Just...kill me. Like you said.”

The young man fell to his knees. Covering his face with his hands, he wept, the rain pouring endlessly on.

#short stories #quarantine days

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