#I barely even posted anything personal back when I was a tumblr teen in the early 2010s save for the occasional selfie

[gebediahhhhhhh]

I’ve seen a lot of people analyzing Lydia’s behavior in BJBJ, not only on tumblr. And a lot of posts about Lydia’s anxiety being illogical miss one certain point: anxiety IS illogical. As someone who spent enough time treating my depression and anxiety issues (and also abusing my medicine at some point) I can totally get her behavior. Let me explain.

WARNING: I’m not an expert in anything I’m talking about, this is just for fun and based on my own experience with mental issues. Also I’m very sleepy and English is not my first language.

When people analyze Lydia’s behavior, they usually have 2 points:

1. Lydia is afraid of ghosts in general; she’s getting anxious because she can see dead people.

2. Lydia is afraid of Beetlejuice specifically.

While the first one is more logically understandable, I don’t think it’s the thing. To me it was obvious that she was afraid of BJ and her panic attacks happened only when she saw him. The second one, though, makes less sense considering the events of the second movie, when Lydia summons BJ and she’s just like… annoyed. She looks at him and goes ew. I didn’t see panic. Which could be just her being calm and collected in the face of danger, but I don’t believe Lyds is like that, sorry 😭

So that leaves us with her reactions being kinda… inconsistent. Yeah! So let me introduce you to my hot takes:

- Lydia is mentally unstable and has big anxiety issues which lead her to panic spiraling about certain topics.

- Lydia is NOT afraid of ghosts in general (at least consciously), but seeing them still messes her up.

- Lydia’s only human and her memory of the first movie events is not perfect.

Let’s talk about this.

In the first movie we clearly see Lydia being depressed and suicidal. Here everything’s clear, I think. Depression at a young age can mess your brain big time and I doubt she got it medicated until she was a whole ass adult.

In the same first movie Lydia obviously doesn’t feel distressed around ghosts (except for BJ, because he’s a weirdo). She willingly spends time with Maitlands and dances with football players and in general she’s okay with ghosts.

From the second movie we get that she can see any ghost because of her gift. I can only imagine how many ghosts she’s met during these 36 years. Probably even before her show started, she would always randomly see dead people in all kinds of places. Some guy killed himself in this building 50 years ago? Yep, Lydia can see him haunting the place. This ability surely doesn’t bring comfort to one’s life, especially after you grow out of your teenage years and talking to dead people is no more considered a quirky thing.

Now back to her fear of Beetlejuice. In the first movie, he terrorized the Deetzes, but didn’t do anything harmful to Lydia specifically. The whole wedding thing must’ve been pretty scary though, I don’t think many people acknowledge that. In her place I would absolutely be terrified. But at the end she seems fine and cheerful, which could be a sign that she isn’t traumatized but all this ghostly stuff that much. So what could’ve happened for her to react to BJ like this?

What I’m thinking is, human memory is not perfect. It tends to blur some things, especially uncomfortable ones. And depression is known for causing memory issues as well. I, personally, barely remember my teen years. And I’m definitely younger than Lydia and saw far less shit in my life. So I’m just thinking that, for the past 36 years, her memory of encountering Beetlejuice might’ve gotten more vague and kinda replaced with… Maitlands’ stories about him.

We don’t know when exactly did the Maitlands leave, but I assume Lydia did spend with them enough time. I already saw a very good in-depth post about Lydia’s fear of Beetlejuice being fueled by the Maitlands’ experience of him being a pervy freak and whatnot. Yes, I agree!!! They absolutely did tell Lydia about all their afterlife experiences, including their first time summoning Beetlejuice. So Lydia must’ve known about him being extremely fucking weird.

Now, imagine: you’re a woman with many mental issues. Your job includes regularly seeing dead people who might look really disturbing and behave in a potentially dangerous way. You have many relationships issues as well and now… You start seeing a freaky ghost from your teenage years. What do you remember about him? Oh, not much:

- he hurt your dad and scared your family (which might have been funny when you’re 16, you do start seeing things differently when you grow up).

- he was acting absolutely disgusting towards your friend.

- he tried to marry you.

I don’t blame Lydia for freaking out. And considering she has anxiety, I can totally imagine her brain going different directions with thoughts how Beetlejuice might hurt her specifically. Been there, done that. I believe her seeing him at the studio wasn’t the first time, and her reactions just kept escalating because she kept thinking about him being a supernatural entity who can murder her, rape her, hurt her daughter, hurt her parents, etc.

But then she summons him and he’s… normal. I mean, relatively normal. You know that feeling when you’re afraid to make this really scary phone call, but when you finally do, it turns out to be not that scary? I imagine that what Lydia experienced, just ten times more intense lmao.

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

Hi hi!! I have a compulsive need to reread sea glass gardens at least once a week, and your writing feels like a personal attack and a bandaid at the same time lol

One thing that popped into my head, and im not sure if it been asked before, but im wondering about ijichi's role in the universe?

Like in canon he knows about itadori being alive (which may have just been circumstances) so i feel like there is a level of trust there, and ijichi was an underclassmen to the Teen Parenting Trio too right?

Just wondering how he's feeling rn, my man gets so stressed by everything

So I've definitely answered this before but tumblr's search function is shit and I can't find where the post is. So let's do it again.

Ijichi is so so stressed by everything right now. The man needs a xanax and a vacation.

So, I have this entire analysis of Yaga floating around somewhere, which includes the fact that he is not in Gojo's inner circle but Ijichi absolutely is. And a big part of that is that Ijichi knew that Itadori was alive and kept the secret for Gojo. Like, yeah, he happened to be there when he came back to life, but he never told anyone, and Gojo never seemed worried that he would. He's the assistant that Gojo most consistently assigns sensitive tasks to, like Yuuta's parentage. I think Ijichi is legitimately in the inner circle for Gojo, and I kept that consistent for sea glass gardens.

Ijichi wasn't a Teen Parent the way the rest of the Teen Parenting Trio was. He was their underclassman, but he had never been a part of the core group of Geto, Gojo, Shoko, Haibara, and Nanami because he arrived after things went to shit, and also he almost immediately changed tracks to becoming an assistant because Gojo told him he was fucking useless as a sorcerer and going to die (canonically). As a result, he didn't have the same history with Gojo as Nanami and Shoko did when he adopted the Fushiguros. He wasn't invited to the PTA nights or to fuck off with the kids that one time they all packed up and ran when Megumi and Tsumiki were still tiny.

That being said, he was very much involved with the Fushiguros from a young age. He adores them.

Initially, he was just a sort of defacto babysitter. He liked the kids a lot and wanted the best for them, even if he wasn't treated as a part of the core family. And it's actually the way that he treated megumi and tsumiki that led him to becoming part of the core group.

So, based on what's been said in sea glass, we know that the Zenin initially didn't know that Megumi was the Ten Shadows and gave him up with minimal grumbling. Then, they found out what his techinque was and lost their shit.

This isn't going to be said in sea glass, but in my mind, Gojo didn't tell the Zenin that Megumi had the Ten Shadows. He was spotted at the school by Naoya.

Megumi just didn't know that it was a big deal to have his shikigami out. He was tiny. He didn't know they were anything special. He had his puppies out with him while he was waiting for Gojo on school grounds, and Naoya saw them, and he just laughed and started dragging Megumi off to the car lot. He didn't hate Megumi back then. He didn't like him, but he didn't know him yet either. He was Toji's boy, and of course Toji's boy would have the Shadows. Of course. He was vaguely planning to bring the Shadows home and get one over on Gojo, giving him the leverage he needed to kick his eldest brother down the ladder, and he didn't really care about how megumi was thrashing and kicking and trying to get free. It barely registered.

In my mind, Ijichi's the one that interfered.

He almost got his ass beat. Like, he was very close to having that four year old boy intervene on his behalf now because Naoya had him by the shirt against a car and was about to make sure Ijichi met god, and Megumi was always this feral biting child who was more than willing to have his puppies rip someone's fucking head off. But he was the one that saw Naoya dragging Megumi off, and he was the one that got in his way in defense of Megumi. Granted, Gojo was the one who had to show up and actually stop Naoya, but Ijichi went after Naoya knowing he could never win that fight. He did it to protect Megumi.

That's the first thing that led Gojo to trust him.

The second happened when the incident that made Gojo cut off the Zenin permanently. Everyone lost their goddamn minds. The Zenin wanted Megumi back yesterday, and the higher ups wanted Gojo to back off and return him. Yaga sided with the higher ups, because he thought that this wasn't a fight they could win.

Ijichi sided with Gojo and the kids. He didn't care if it was a fight they could win. He had never cared about whether he could win a fight when it came to protecting the Fushiguro siblings. He never could win the fights he took up for them. He just did it anyway.

Those kids were his little buddies. He babysat them regularly. He loved them fiercely. And he didn't care that he was a shit sorcerer doomed to get himself killed if he ever fought. Those were his kids.

He thinks of them vaguely in this sort of younger cousin role. He's not their parent and doesn't think of himself as such, but he's watched them grow and thinks of them as his family.

Since the Zenin incident when Megumi was a little kid, Ijichi has been the only assistant trusted with having any contact whatsoever with them--until recently. Back then, they cut Megumi and Tsumiki off from almost all contact with the wider jujutsu world for their own protection. The Zenin would do anything to get close to Megumi again, so they wouldn't let anyone near him at all. Over the years, Gojo has slowly let a few very select people from the jujutsu world have contact, but no one who he hasn't personally vetted. A few of his most trusted students, so Megumi could have more sorcerer influences in his life. Kamo Noritoshi, because Gojo thought that Megumi needed friends and made the dazzlingly poor judgment call that he would like Kamo. But Ijichi was the only assistant allowed anywhere near Megumi or his sister. Gojo didn't trust that the Zenin wouldn't bribe assistants to spy on them.

About six months before the start of sea glass gardens, Gojo decided to lift the ban and allow other assistants to have contact with them. He regrets that now.

Megumi's been cut off from the wider jujutsu world for almost his entire childhood. Like, he knows plenty about jujutsu sorcery, to be clear. He goes on missions regularly and his tutors in sorcery are three of the most valuable sorcerers alive at the moment. But he wasn't exactly rubbing elbows with the masses. He stopped going to the school after the Zenin incident. He only met the very select few that Gojo personally introduced him to. He didn't go to the Zenin compound or the Gojo compound or the Kamo compound. It was all for his protection, but they knew that it wasn't something they could sustain when he hit high school.

High school meant reentering the jujutsu world. It meant the Zenin having the first glimpse of him since they lost custody of him. They knew that shit would hit the fan and that the Zenin would try to make contact again--not to mention the other parties in their world interested in the Ten Shadows.

They wanted to ease Megumi back into the jujutsu world in what they thought was a low-risk way. They started letting a few other assistants than Ijichi convey messages to the Fushiguros when they were needed. That was it. He thought it was a baby step towards testing the waters that wouldn't have blown up the way it did.

In a few months, Gojo was planning to introduce Megumi to his upperclassmen. He was going to bring a few of them by to meet Megumi on his turf first. Yuuta was his top choice for this, and maybe Inumaki. Maki was trickier because she was Zenin. He was planning to bring him by the school before he officially started, but was secretly hesitant because Megumi hadn't been to the school since the time the Zenin beat him badly enough to hospitalize him.

He was trying to reintegrate Megumi slowly, because maybe then he could spot the ways the Zenin tried to worm their way back into his life and put a stop to them. He thought they'd pay people to spy on him, maybe hang around the school trying to make contact again.

He never thought they'd use one of the assistants to cut off contact to him, kidnap Megumi when he was too busy to realize Megumi was gone, and immediately fucking kill him.

He wishes he still only allowed Ijichi near them. This wouldn't have happened then.

Gojo would never admit this out loud, but the way the Zenin treat Megumi legitimately terrifies him. He's used to his own childhood as the Gojo's beloved godling--it wasn't a healthy childhood, and it was a little dehumanizing, but they'd never dare lay a hand on him. The Zenin treat Megumi like he's a toy they're trying to break. They scream about Gojo stealing him from them like he's their cherished prince, but whenever they have him, they nearly shatter him.

He almost didn't go get Megumi. He almost didn't save him. There's a world out there where Megumi is the little godling of the Zenin clan and has no one to protect him from the people who were supposed to love him, because Gojo never took him in.

Gojo thinks about it a lot.

Right now, Ijichi's right back to being the only assistant that is allowed in spitting distance of Gojo's kids. He and Shoko were the only people Gojo told, and he's been integral to arranging everything while this is going on. They're operating on minimal manpower. Nanami refuses to leave the campus while Megumi's bedridden (though no one would ask him to) because Megumi needs someone on campus to protect him constantly. Shoko is stuck treating him. they need Gojo to look for the cure, and he's trying to spend as much time as possible with Megumi because that's his kid in the hospital bed.

Ijichi's running interference on literally everything else. He's integral to Team Save Megumi right now, even if he hasn't shown up yet in sea glass gardens. That's because he's busy doing the legwork.

He got to see Megumi briefly while Yuuta was asleep. He sat with him for a little while. He'd be with him now were he not so busy trying to help find his cure.

And he is. so stressed. He's developing a new ulcer right now. the man is not okay.

[thisisthiago]

WeHeartIt is dead.

It died in 2023, during a sunny June, though the process started taking place way before that date. It’s unclear, though, the reason why it started to happen. And, since I’m not a journalist, I might focus on why it meant so much to me for so long.

WeHeartIt, famous for embracing thousands of people around the idea of creating personal galleries and sharing them with friends, was born in 2008 from a Brazilian developer. He came up with the idea of creating a platform where people could save, share and, most importantly, heart images.

And didn't that work out? At its peak, the social network had 25 million monthly users and partnered with brands such as Teen Vogue to promote content and increase that reach. Of course, there was always Pinterest, but this wasn’t it. WeHeartIt was a hot mess of posting and hearting and expressing ourselves through the images we saved or the postcards we sent or even the collections we built. Of course, you could open Pinterest and organize your ideas, wishes, and... crochet templates, I guess? But at WeHeartIt, what looked like a mess would then become a gallery with layers of meanings and feelings, resembling the rings of trees. Our profiles, as rings of trees can tell us about a harsh winter or a particularly hot summer, would have layers composed of travel dreams, romantic ideas, or heartbreaking moments. It was safe and, as a 2018 article from Women’s Forum would point out, it was a mood booster.

Can you imagine such a lovely mess? "Dancing On My Own" was at the top of the parades (at least for hipsters worldwide), Tumblr was the next most favorite network, and Facebook wasn’t as cringe as it is now. In the middle of all that, WeHeartIt was thriving. Saving us from the boredom and helping us all to create a gallery where we could go back to see (and feel) all that was there to remember.

But then, things started to go somewhere out of the road, and we learned that good and new features don’t necessarily mean improvement. The app didn't have to try and be anything else. Of course, a design refreshment is always welcome, but some of the updates were simply needless or had no sense at all. All of that led to what we encounter today when we go into the platform website.

I won’t refer to all of the annoying-but-still-not-changing-the-core-of-the-app updates and features. I’m talking about ads, postcards, articles and yes, podcasts. Though all of these were meaningless and even annoying, they never interfered in my possibility of using the core functions of the app: managing my profile, visiting other people’s profiles, and hearting images.

Then, all of a sudden, WeHeartIt starts rolling out a message saying that the app will now focus on other features and so, they would do part with profiles and hearting. Yes, you read that correctly. The owners of the app decided that the main functions of the website should no longer be available, in order to redirect the main focus of the app to photo editing.

As I said in a rather harsh review of the latest version of the app in Apple’s App Store:

The so-called "photo editing" capabilities are laughable, barely a patch on dedicated apps in that domain. It's utterly disheartening that even a relic like the 1967 app surpasses WeHeartIt as a creative tool at this point. There appears to be an overwhelming lack of satisfaction with this so-called "upgrade."

Though scattered around the web, many of the platform users have shown their discomfort with the current state of the app. A quick search on Twitter, Reddit, App Store Reviews, and even Tumblr shows us. Even though some users still try to make some of the old features of the service work, it’s only a matter of time until the database is updated and we no longer have access to any image at all.

It’s sad that WeHeartIt is dying. The idea was great, and the execution worked for a while, but now it just looks as if the owners of the platform are looking for an excuse to shut it down permanently. We might as well just end up with a page like the former ffffound.

[nekoannie-chan]

 Between whispers and caresses

Title: Between whispers and caresses.

Fandom: Marvel, Captain America.

Ship: Brock Rumlow X OFC.

Word count: 601 words.

Rating: Teen.

Summary: Brock Rumlow being the sweetest person ever for his wife.

Major Tags: Fluff, mention of pregnancy, implicit smut.

Additional tags: This was a Tumblr request.

Links: Wattpad, Ao3, Spanish version.

@saiyanprincessswanie

My native language is Spanish so I wanna improve my writing skills in English if you notice any mistakes, please let me know and I will correct them.

I don’t give any permission for my fics to be posted on other platforms or languages (I translate my work myself) or the use of my graphics (my dividers are included in this), I did them exclusively for my fics, please respect my work and don't steal it. There are some people here who make dividers that anyone can use, mine is not this type, please look for the other people. The only exception is the ones I gifted 'cuz now belong to someone else. Please let me know if you find any of my works on a different platform and are not one of my accounts. Reblogs and comments are always welcome.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Marvel's characters (unfortunately), except for the original characters and the story.

Add yourself to my taglist here.

My other media where I publish:  Ao3, Wattpad, ffnet, TikTok, Instagram, Twitter. 

If you like it, please vote, comment, and give me feedback to improve my skills and reblog.

Tags: @sinceimetyou @unnuevosoltransformalarealidad @navybrat817 @angrythingstarlight @shield-agent78 @charmed-asylum @pandaxnienke @real-fbi @Smokeandnailz @white-wolf1940 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @xoxonotme @bluemusickid @leyannrae @Harrysthiccthighss @Marvelatthisone @caplanbuckybarnes @sapphire-rogers @lizzieolseniskinda @notyourtypicalrose @hallecarey1 @nana1000night @talia-rumlow @writingshae @alexxavicry @azulatodoryuga @daemonslittlebitch @chaoticcollectivenightmare @endlesstwanted @chemtrails-club  @marigoldreamer @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @Here4thefanfics @theestorm @patzammit @kmc1989 @somegirlfromasgard @rogersbarber

The sun was just beginning to filter through the curtains.

caressing Yvaine's bare skin, who was curled up under the covers. Brock Rumlow was lying next to her, watching her with a smile. It was a scene he had seen many times, but it never ceased to amaze him. His fingers moved delicately, tracing an invisible path over his wife's arm, tracing small figures as she slept.

Yvaine stirred slightly, and Brock held his breath, not wanting to wake her yet. But her eyes finally opened, meeting his.

“Good morning,” Brock murmured.

“Good morning, babe.”

Brock leaned down to kiss her on the forehead before getting up. “Don't move. I'm going to fix you something special.”

He placed all the food on a tray and returned to the bedroom, finding her sitting up with her back leaning against the headboard.

“Breakfast in bed, my love,” Brock said.

“You're the best, Brock. I don't know what I'd do without you.”

After enjoying breakfast together, Brock and Yvaine spent the morning cuddling in bed, talking about anything and everything.

“You know what?” Brock said suddenly. “Today is all for you. Let's do whatever you want.”

Yvaine looked at him in surprise and then laughed. “Are you serious?”

“Completely serious. What would you like to do?”

They spent the afternoon together, strolling through the park, walking, and holding hands as Brock listened intently to her, interested in every little thing she said, even though the topic wasn't particularly fascinating to others. To him, everything that came from her was important.

Back at home, Brock set about preparing dinner, insisting that Yvaine relax while he took care of everything. She tried to help, but Brock was firm.

“Today is your day. I just want you to sit back and enjoy yourself.”

As she cooked, Brock hummed a song he used to listen to when they were together.

“I do it because I love you,” Brock replied, taking her hand across the table.

After dinner, Brock took her to the living room, where he had prepared one more surprise. A small space had been cleared, with soft lights illuminating the room. Brock put on some music—a slow, romantic song he knew she loved—and extended his hand toward her.

“Shall we dance?” he asked.

Yvaine took his hand, letting herself be guided toward the center of the room. Brock held her close; she rested her head on his chest, feeling her heartbeat.

“I don't know what I did to deserve you,” she murmured, closing her eyes.

“I'm the lucky one,” Brock replied, his voice a whisper against her ear. “There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do for you.”

As the song ended, Brock held her a little closer, leaning in to kiss her.

“I love you,” Brock murmured against her lips.

“I love you too,” she replied, her fingers gently caressing his cheek. “Brock, I have something to tell you.

Brock broke away and watched her intently trying to decipher what was going on; for a moment he feared he had discovered her secret. He tried not to change his gesture to avoid suspicion, but he calmed down when his wife smiled.

“I'm pregnant.”

“Really? “ Brock was excited; they had always talked about having a family, but for now they had to celebrate.

Brock slowly led her into the bedroom. Then they undressed each other, their hands exploring every nook and cranny of their bodies.

Brock looked into her eyes, his hands gently caressing her back, whispering words of love that only she could hear.

“I'll always be here for you,” Brock murmured.

[thatmysticaltuxedocat-rp]

// I've missed this place so much where people are so friendly and are happy when friends are around. I really need good friends and kind people right now. Literally never felt more welcomed than here. 🥺

(Under cut is the reason why I came back so randomly and why I needed a place with friends. It's long and kinda upsetting. But I really need to vent.)

So I wasn't pulled back into the Cats fandom really. I was heavy into another fandom and had a tumblr to mess about there, much like here. A stranger started interacting with my characters in a way that I wasn't comfortable with. It had major bullying vibes, just having a go, invading my threads to have a go. So I set up some boundaries in a post, no names mentioned, absolutely nobody tagged and yet not only did this person PM me demanding I take my post down but accused me of bullying. Going even further to create another account to keep harassing me, constantly saying "my friend" (it was the same individual) and referencing a discord group where they were screenshotting and talking about my blog. Not sure how true that is as they seemed to be behaving as two different people to give the impression several people were going for me.

I want to make it so clear my original post explained if I feel harassed or like my characters are getting bullied, I will not interact. That's all. I explained I can do in character arguments and drama but chiming in and saying hurtful things that are unrelated I'll just stop responding to. In no way did it demand anyone take anything down or change how someone RPs just I have a personal boundary and if you find I'm not reaponding suddenly, that's why. Nobody is forced to RP with me anymore than I am with them. It was carefully written and checked to make sure no individual was referenced.

And when I didn't immediately reply to the PM the individual "went public" because I "refused to reply". I have a life, I have dogs that need attention and I was carefully crafting a reply that explained my point. I didn't want to argue. This led to them posting a post directly aimed at me about how much of a bully I am and I refused to apologise. What I said was in response to their " everyone apologises" was does that too mean they apologise? This is me refusing.

I know it's ridiculous in the gramd scheme of things, it's a barely known silly place for me to mess around with Alex in character as but as someone who really was heavily bullied throughout childhood and teens (all through school basically) this really messed with me. The way they attempted to manipulate me with claims of how "their friend" (them) was now crying and their Sunday was ruined and Alex says gaslight me, accuse me of twisting things against them (even though nobody was mentioned it was a generic post) and starting some kind of public attack because I didn't immediately roll over and do what they wanted.

I also understand the irony of them complaining I was bullying them into what they can post while they were attempting to bully me into dictating what I can post. I also understand this person could be suffering or on the spectrum. I really try to be accomedating and inclusive but I was unable to properly follow threads and felt whatever I put they would have a go and make my experience bad. And finally yeah I know it says more about them that they got so upset about a generic boundary post not directly aimed at them. The point of a generic public post was to protect them and give a little nudge without a direct attack, private or otherwise. I cannot stand confrontation of any kind.

I just got so shaken and upset by it all, it ruined the fandom for a moment for me and I actually felt unwell for the evening. It got to a point where I feel I was in the wrong for putting up a boundary.

(Also I did not take the post down, it's still up.)

[historyofshipping]

More Teen Wolf thoughts

So I knew next to nothing about Teen Wolf when I started watching it last week. I basically just didn't interact with any fandoms when it was live and so I'm coming in without any kind of preconceived notions of who/what the good character/ships/storylines etc other than the movie sucks and I shouldn't watch it. I was also vaguely aware that Ste/rek and Stydia were fandom things.

After watching it, I scrolled through an obscene amount of tumblr stuff related to TW and I truly have to wonder if we watched the same show.

Again, it's a very different viewing experience for me because I didn't have gaps between seasons where I could theorize, over-analyze, etc. I'm also older than the target audience so like that could probably affect how I view things too.

I'll also add that my own relationship had a similar trajectory to Stydia. My partner had a crush on me while I was literally engaged to someone else and we barely knew each other, but then we had a deep friendship form over time. By the time my last relationship ended, his crush had changed to genuine love and my friendship evolved to something romantic. We've been together now over a decade.

So with all that said, here's Stydia thought: I am truly BAFFLED by the fact that people think Stydia getting together was fan service. (More under cut)

Note: I have zero interest in debating or arguing, which is why I'm hoping this won't come up in other ship tags. If you feel the need to argue, just move along because I'll either ignore you or block you. These are just my thoughts - it's not that deep.

I admit I absolutely fell in love with Stydia. I am an absolute sucker for good friends to lovers, detective duos, etc so they were *Chef's kiss* to me.

That said, I'm more than capable of separating my feelings about a ship from a story. So when people say that Stydia was forced together, I'm just kind of dumbfounded since I thought it was literally the only well-written ship in the entire show.

When we start, obviously we have Stiles obsessing over an image of Lydia in his head. But even still, he was never into her popularity or anything like that - he was into the person she was at the core, even when she kept it hidden.

Then they became friends over the course of the next few seasons and Stiles fell in love with her in a different way. He got to know her better and his feelings only deepened. However, she was with other people so he tried to force himself to move on. This is very normal in high school especially.

I did not like the Sta/lia relationship, mostly because I thought Malia deserved a lot better than someone who was clearly still into someone else, but I'm not going to get into that here.

We have canon proof that Stiles was STILL INTO Lydia during season 4&5. So much so that Kira, new to the group and mostly only around post-Malia getting involved, picked up on it: "He still likes her, doesn't he?" "Yeah, but it’s different now." "Stiles was the only one who knew." "He paid attention. He listened to her. He remembered."

Stiles is constantly the one whose main priority is getting her out of Eichen House. He storms in and doesn't give a shit about self-preservation as long as he gets to Lydia and gets her out.

He breaks through his bonds when she's about to be injected.

The camera constantly focuses on their hand touches with each other - whether it's in the hospital, the care with which they constantly stroke each other's face, etc. When Melissa was about to inject Lydia in the neck, she told Stiles specifically to hold her hand - even though he has a fear of needles.

Both of them essentially brought the other back from the dead through their connection.

When he sees her hurt or about to be hurt, it goes back to "I would go out of my freaking mind" - and he does.

Stiles was in love with her for nearly a decade. That doesn't just go away in a few months.

Now, for Lydia, we have her focused on Stiles above all else. He's the one she calls when she's in trouble or upset. She goes to him for comfort. "Stiles saved me."

Whenever there's a Stalia moment and Lydia is around, the camera goes to her for reactions. What comes to mind immediately is in the Mexico car scene where Malia says she'd come back for Stiles.

Now, any of these things individually you could say are just friendship things - and you'd be correct. Above everything, they are friends. Probably best friends. But their bond goes so much deeper than that. Both of them needed that basis of friendship before they could fall into a truly deep love for each other - and that's what we see in season 6.

So yeah, I'm not sure where people are getting the idea that it was out of the blue. It's clearly been built up over seasons and while it *could* have stayed as just very good friends, that wasn't the story they were telling. I'll concede that s6 was kind screwed up because of DOB's filming and injuries but it still wasn't out of the blue.

[stevethehairington]

sending this as a reply to my ask abt your tommy/stommy hc’s cause either there’s a character limit on replies or my app is glitching.

i love steddie sm and am a very monogamous person so i feel like it’s cheating whenever i read stommy stuff if they’re past a time when steve could be with eddie (no judgement to any poly folks!it’s just not my cup of tea) but i genuinely LOVE stommy hc’s where they’re into each other before steve meets eddie/eddie even shows up on steve’s radar. i’m literally eating up your take on stommy ~we’re just fooling around cause teen boys are horny and have needs~ but with secret feelings.

and don’t get me wrong, i’m a fan of lot of different takes on steve and his queer development. but in a lot of fics his first gay experiences are with eddie (whether he knew he liked men before eddie or not), so it’s fun to think about him messing around with tommy (maybe steve realizes he has feelings for tommy, maybe he thinks they’re just bros bein bros and everyone does this…until eddie’s like hold on i thought you were straight, why are u trying to offering to blow me??) <- sorry i got lost in that hc lmao

your characterization of tommy is so great! i’ve never thought too much on his background other than him and steve being confused baby bi/gays not understanding that their feelings for each other do not fall under the ‘normal heterosexual umbrella’. like your hc of him being a middle child out of five siblings in a divorced household and craving attention wherever he can get it feels so right

also i will 100% check your fics out as soon as i can get a grip on my school assignments. the end of the semester is creeping up and i’m not far off from flying a little too close to the sun when it comes to putting finals prep off. (hope u liked my icarus ref, i still need to read eddie’s book as well lol)

ah, yeah, there is a character limit in tumblr notes. i don't know what the actual number is, but it's definitely not long enough lol and it's SO annoying that if you've got a lot to say you gotta keep breaking it up.

anyways. i can totally understand that! seeing your faves with other people, whether it's individually or together with others isn't always what you wanna see! they are your favorite pairing for a reason, presumably, so it makes sense you wanna see the two of them happy together alone.

whiiiiiiiich is what makes stommy so fantastic, because tommy is really only in the picture before eddie. sure, they were all in school together at the same time, and surely have crossed each other's paths then, BUT in terms of like onscreen canon, by the time we are introduced to eddie, tommy is long gone.

tommy being The First for steve, whether he knows it or not, is literally my f a v o r i t e. like you see all these posts saying eddie was steve's bi awakening or that jonathan was - and those are great posts!! i love those posts!! those are both great concepts!! BUT i am firmly in the camp that there was someone BEFORE eddie, BEFORE jonathan, and that person was tommy.

and like the thing about tommy is there is SO much to work with!!! tommy (and carol too) is SUCH a bare bones character in the show that it is SO easy to take him and run with him. but at the same time, there is just enough little detail and nuance in his character's portrayal that there's SO much to build off of! and because of that you can literally take stommy in any direction you want to!! like, tommy has feelings for steve, but is so unwilling to acknowledge them that he keeps it to himself and suffers silently for the rest of his life only to finally face those feelings years and years later, when its too late, and have to live with the regret of never doing or saying anything about it back then? FANTASTIC! tommy has feelings for steve and makes a move and steve is receptive because he ALSO has a crush on tommy? EXCELLENT! tommy has feelings for steve and makes a move and steve ISNT receptive because he DOESNT share those feelings? DELICIOUS, WE LOVE UNREQUITED FEELINGS! and even MORE delicious - if years down the line steve thinks back on that moment and realizes, no, it wasn't that he didn't feel the same, it's just that he didn't know what those strange feelings were and interpreted them as nonreciprocation when in fact they were the exact opposite!! YES! tommy and steve fool around and never put a name to it because that makes it Real and Real is scary, so it's just a Thing they do that never gets acknowledged, despite the fact that it actually meant A Lot for both of them? GIVE ME A SPOON, I AM EATING IT UP!!! there are just so many flavors of stommy and all of them are SO good.

i'm glad you love the "we're just fooling around cause teen boys are horny and have needs - but with secret feelings" headcanon!! it's genuinely one of my favorites for them (and honestly i love reading that for steddie too! it's just a fun trope in general no matter who it is!!) i just love it when theyre totally OBLIVIOUS to the reality of the situation and to what it actually means to both of them - because it DOES mean something to both of them. they're both under the impression that it's totally casual for the other, but it is, in fact, not, and that kind of miscommunication is just deeeelicious. it's one of my favorite things to see in fics and hcs and stuff when steve has all these really gay experiences and grows up thinking that ALL guys have these experiences only to look back on it and realize oh. OH. that WAS really gay of me.

to your next point, yes!! exactly!! there are a lot of fics that have eddie be steve's first foray into any sort of homosexual activity or queer awakening, and i DO love those, i will ALSO eat those up with a spoon!! but you're so right, it's SO fun to see it where eddie ISN'T his first. like i fully believe that the seeds of steve's queer awakening were sown from VERY early on in his life (aka his relationship with tommy - whether the feelings get acknowledged or not). if steve doesn't realize it back then while it's happening, then he certainly does in the future when he finally looks back on it all and confronts that behavior/those feelings.

i also LOVE the hc that steve has had more queer experiences than eddie. like, i definitely think that eddie figured out that he liked boys way before steve ever did, BUT steve has still had more queer experiences because he never really saw them as that. he thought sometimes kissing your boy best friend was normal - you've got to get your practice somewhere right? or jerking off your boy best friend isn't weird, it's just a hand. it's just convenience. and eddie, of course, is a queer gay virign - the hill i will die on skjfls.

sooooo YEAH steve propositioning eddie and eddie being just absolutely shook by that because holy shit did steve harrington just say he wants to suck my dick? while steve is just sitting there all casual because it's just another friday night between bros for him. LOVEEEE THAT flkjgfd. that is an excellent hc 👏 love it when that kind of thing happens and eddie is like uhhhh dude. that's hella gay. to which steve is like no?? me and tommy used to do that all the time?? and eddies just like steve. my dude. my guy. you and tommy were hella gay with each other. and it's only in this moment that steve like takes a step back and reevaluates all the shit he and tommy got up to and realizes that, holy shit, yeah, eddie is RIGHT. that all WAS very fucking gay. and shit, maybe he DID actually have feelings for tommy back then, huh. that inexplicable feeling back then suddenly makes a whole lotta sense now. (and then ofc steve rolls with that so quickly and goes, so like can i suck your dick or not? to which eddie loses his fucking mind skfjsf.)

thank you so much!!! that means a lot to hear!! characterization is super important to me so that really makes me so happy you think that!! it is my Civic Duty on this good earth to spread the tommy hagan/stommy agenda and open as many people's eyes to it as i can sldjdsfs.

but yeah! like i said, i just love thinking about tommy. i have a degree in psychology so i LOVE thinking about like what goes on in people's brains and what makes them tick and behave the way they do and what their driving factors are and where those might have stemmed from. so applying all of that to my favorite blorbos is a definite favorite passtime of mine lol. i'm glad it could intrigue you too!!

and ahh thank you!! i hope you enjoy the fics when you do get around to reading them! good luck with your school assignments!! you've got this!! (and yess haha excellent icarus ref 👏)

[timextoxhajima]

updates regarding this blog

to all my lovely readers, it’s been almost 3 years on tumblr (will turn 4 in july) and i must account for the last... year or so because i realised i had lost multiple mutuals, multiple readers who had de-activated and i had no idea until i looked back at older posts and realised they were de-activated. 

i don’t know if my regular readers are still here, and i don’t know if my closer mutuals are still active or on hiatus - being online makes everything harder to track, especially on a social media platform like tumblr that has a shit algorithm. 

alot of things have changed since i first announced my semi-hiatus wayyyy back in late 2021 and i’ve been writing on and off here but i feel like i wanted to explain why and what would happen to this blog thereforth, so if you’re interested, please click read more. 

personal life

the years 2019-2021 would be what i considered my covid years. i spent my birthdays in quarantine, went through a partially messy break-up, made this tumblr account, made new friends, lost some friends, got into some sticky situations myself. but the last year was arguably the most impactful period in my recent teen-to-adulthood period. 

i started my own k-pop dance cover crew on youtube and instagram (if you’re interested, please dm/send in an ask if you’d like to help support). dance has always been extremely important to me as a person and my personal growth, because i’ve been into k-pop for so long, i attach the idea of persistence/resilience/reward with dancing and practising. some of you might know that i have an unhealthy relationship with the school’s dance crew that i’m part of, and their incompetence has led me to make my own crew, aiming to provide new opportunities. this also comes with regular dance practises, filming time, editing time, posting time. this has definitely taken the time away from writing, away from daydreaming and watching/reading content that would inspire me to write. 

i also had an operation barely a couple of days after new year’s. i have since been diagnosed with endometriosis, which is a lifelong condition that causes my menstrual flow to go in wrong directions, possibly cause blood clots, serious period cramps and perhaps even cause difficulties in pregnancy in the future. i’m currently on school leave and am not fit to dance until late feb. this crushed me, for i had songs lined up to practise and film that have since been shelved because i am not fit to dance. i cried a couple days back. had an episode. it’s difficult to come to terms with the condition, knowing that i could’ve done nothing about it. it’s got nothing to do with diet, health, routines. if anything, you google ‘causes of endometriosis’ and it says unknown. it was disheartening to know that i’m suffering from a condition caused by a body part that i didn’t ask for. i had to withdraw from a concert because of this. 

but i also got into a relationship in may 2022 and he’s been very kind, very understanding and very supportive of whatever i’ve been doing. he was there while i was filming, through some of my painful periods. i just think he’s the one (which is so cringe to write now that i’m writing about myself). his patience with me is unrivalled, and he has habits that i write about (like kneeling to do my shoelaces and swapping foods with me when he knows i don’t like what i ordered) and it feels surreal. 

tldr: i’ve been pretty fucking busy. i’m on the free side now because i’m still recovering from an operation and i can’t do anything physically strenuous for another month. i also have a boyfie <3

content

as far as blog content goes, i will still mostly write for the boyz/enhypen. those are still the groups i’m somewhat dabbling in, but i have to admit that i am no longer as invested as i was. i missed tbz’s whisper comeback and i hadn’t been keeping up with enhypen since they wrapped future perfect promotions. i can’t find it in me to start stanning other groups. 

perhaps you can say i’ve outgrown my horny, hormonal era, but i’m finding it much harder to produce smut nowadays, especially writing for idols. i’m not saying it’s wrong, i’m just saying it’s gotten harder to write that genre of material. thus, i will be cutting down on smut and shifting to explore other genres as far as writing is still concerned. 

activity

from now to late feb, i will be on semi-hiatus. i’m still trying to write the rest of grey area, and i do have a juyeon fic sitting in my drafts waiting for me to flesh the rest of it out, but i cannot make any promises. some of these days are still difficult to get by, especially when i think about how i have a lifelong condition that might affect other things in the future. march onwards, i can almost promise you i’ll disappear again.

but i promise you, i will still be here. for all my mutuals and all my regular readers, please, please PLEASE if you’re going to de-activate or get off tumblr, don’t hesitate to reach out and at least say bye. i might not be churning out content but i will still be checking my notifs and what others are up to.

everything else

there’s a huge part of me that regrets i hadn’t done more for this blog, but there’s also a part of me that is extremely grateful for everything that this blog has given me. yes, i started this blog wanting and hoping that i could get the interactions and leave the impacts that i wanted, but i never imagined receiving complaints about how the stuff i write made people cry or ignited some kind of reflection from my readers. 

this blog will not be what it is today, known for fics like hostis, love me a little less, the ntl series and several other fics that have done significantly well, if not for my readers. and with that, i sincerely thank everyone who has looked past my spelling/grammar/punctuation and other mistakes throughout my works and chose to look at the bigger picture instead. 

sometimes i lay in bed and use timextoxstart and scroll through the asks that i get on this blog, talking about how people recommend my blog to others, how people wait for the chapters to drop, how the characters and the fics have made a difference in their lives, how much research i do before i begin on something just so it’s as factually accurate as possible. this taught me nothing but realise that effort will always go noticed, and i will always remember you for teaching me that. 

this may seem like a goodbye post, but it’s not, i promise you. even if the day comes, i will not delete this blog, for i have poured my heart and soul out on here for the thousands of strangers to read and resonate. words are timeless, so i hope my work is too. i will continue to write as when i deem my work fit to publish, and i’m hoping for everybody’s safety, good health and happiness in this shitty world. 

love, dana

[dancingprayer]

Scrolling through my old tumblr really is… something.

Almost tangible reminders of that stage in my life. It’s crazy because it’s just a bunch of reblogs of pretty things, tv/movie gifs and text posts about depression, but I literally remember the feeling of each new post on my blog becoming one with my personality - I never felt so understood even though I wasn’t actually talking to anyone - and seeing it all again just takes me back so hard… Obviously it’s nostalgic but at the same time I feel confronted by this ~past personality~ and all the things that have changed and all the things that haven’t. I was already going through this huge life (and personality) change around the last time I was using tumblr.. but boy oh boy little did I know that I’d end up here right now, 5 years later, lying in bed with my 9 month old SON napping next to me. Like, never wanting kids was part of my identity back then, just like all those posts I reblogged that made me feel unique with thousands of other people I never talked to (and of all social media, tumblr always had that extra level of anonymity somehow). Now I feel so disassociated with that identity, and that blog just seems filled with media I don’t like anymore or even remember consuming, so many beliefs I no longer hold… Which is probably a normal thing that happens to a person during a span of five years but the imposter syndrome is the fucking constant thing!! I have moved and “started fresh” so many times in my life, and it used to be that that was to blame for the fact that I never truly belonged to my “current group of friends at the time” (doesn’t that sound ridiculous).. but recent events have shown me that nothing is enough to stop me from falling back into my old patterns. In fact I have probably fallen into them harder (thank you pandemic). I can count in one hand the number of people who knew I was pregnant, let alone the number of people I actually told. I know that’s insane, and trust that I paid the price for that when I gave birth; there was no other time when I longed for a tight-knit circle of family and friends that much my life. The guilt I felt, wondering how much of this energy my new baby felt... 

I don’t know what I am doing back here on tumblr. I spent SO much time here as a teenager but I was just as much as a wallflower here as I am in real life. I never made text posts like this. (God, I remember every time I got into a new TV show or movie, I would come here and look it up on the search bar just to read what people thought about it; to see if anyone had the same opinions as me, but I wouldn’t even engage in any conversation. That sounds sad, but it really was enough for me) But I guess tumblr was a place of comfort, and that is what I am looking for now. It really does feel like returning to a distant youth, the closest thing for me to going through old stuff in the “house I grew up in”. But also looking back at my old blog is a jarring reminder of how much time has passed; realising how much shit has happened, how many times I’ve “changed”… yet the core of my problems is still the same. How do I break this cycle? If not for myself, then for him?

This has been sitting in my drafts since yesterday, and I have been coming back over and over to edit and add to it, worrying if I sound stupid or if anything I said could be misconstrued, as if I’m actually speaking to anyone. I already know that no one is thinking about me as much as I am, but it’s still so hard not to worry about how I am perceived. Maybe posting this is a step towards the right direction? Is that why I am doing this?

I know the new year has already begun for everyone else, but I feel like my fresh start begins in a couple months; we’ll be in my home country where we’ll be celebrating my son’s first birthday and he’ll meet one of his grandparents for the first time.. I’ve had many fresh starts before, except this time everything I do, I do for my him. All I want is to give him the stability I never had.

[lunaticus-platina]

Update: So I double and triple checked, but the label thing ain't working for me for whatever reason so I removed it. Readmore is there for a reason.

Update v2 tumblr fked me over. Posting again.

Smut but is teasingly short. Actually, this is a teaser. Not even an appetizer. A sample that you tried but can't get more of. Me being me I mixed it with a bit of angst. 'Cuz bittersweet is how I be. Could be read as a gun kink since you're literally at a gun point but don't care?🤔 My reckless nature is showing maybe. Lol. No actual sex or anything so relax. Like I said. Just a sample lolol.

Travis has a hard time(very hard) with a seducing, pliant captive who is not swayed by his 'bad cop' persona.

Taste

A glare that could fillet a person inside out. His hand over the gun. Just a show. A warning that couldn't fool someone like you. And even if it was more than just a warning...well. The man's worth dying for, isn't he?

His eyes snap to the leg that dared to take a step his way...then miss the deft hands removing the upper clothing, letting it flop down to the floor. When he looks up again, it's almost comical how his eyebrows shoot up and his lips part, dark orbs shaking and shifting all over the place, taking in the naked form without even thinking.

Carefully, two hands come up in surrendering gesture, half naked, unarmed, unguarded. Eyes with nothing but wanton desire, the haze so captivating.

With each step the hand over his gun tightens, the look hardens, the word at the tip of his tongue, but the slight purse of his lips gives away his upcoming outburst.

"Are you going to shoot me?"

Asked so gently, innocently, and he falters. No daring sarcasm, or sly jab. Not even a mockery of his authority. An acceptance. It scares him. God, it scares him.

"My heart is right here, couldn't miss it." A smile that only further grips his heart in vice. "I'd appreciate it if you don't ruin the face, though. I might not be a model, but a man like you could use something easy on the eyes..."

This must be a ploy. It has to be. A blatant honey trap. Well he was no fool, drooling over someone good-looking person like a hormonal teen.

In a second the gun was out of the holster, his steady hands digging the barrel right into the middle of the chest, over where a beating heart rests.

"Stand back." He spat, niggling spite bubbling in the pit of his gut like heated tar. He was not going to let this person play games with him. He was in charge here, he-

"At least I get to look at a handsome face as the last thing I see. Not a whole bad deal." Fond smile and a wink. He's close to malfunctioning again. "But I know what'll be even better. Officer, if you're going to shoot me down...won't you grant me my dying wish?"

Suspicion mixed with confusion swirl in those dark eyes, thinking.

It wasn't that he was actually going to fire, since his aim was simple intimidation. But...a dying wish? He could get something out of this. An information, maybe.

His eyes narrow. "Let's hear it." He raises a brow, the edge in the questioning glare ever-present.

What he hears next almost makes him do a double-take.

"Let me taste you."

His thought seizes. Either from shock or the blood vacating the Hq to take a trip to South. No, no. He mentally slaps himself. Enough playing-

"Please." Breathed out softly, quieter than before. "This is the last time I'll see you. At least let me have this." The lust is replaced with longing before he knows it. The sincere yearning in the voice, the eyes. It sets something in him ablaze. "Let me have you." He swallows. Twice. Both go down thick.

The hands that have been hovering up this whole time come down little by little, and as soon as he notices the barrel harshly pushes back into the chest, his lips curling in to show bared teeth. "Keep your hands up. Don't even think about it."

"You could cuff me."

He blinks. "What?"

Step by methodical step, you pull away, careful not to startle the man and giving him an ample amount of space. The hands stay up the whole time, just as he commanded. The gun follows the movement, its aim still trained on the heart.

Now apart, far more than an arm's length, and the steps slow down to a halt. The hands slowly, slowly reach forward, open palms, inside of the wrists facing upward, put together side by side, as if to request. "Cuff me to the bars, and feed me through them."

He cannot think straight after that sentence. The way he freezes only adds to the endearing panic in those eyes and the quickening pulse in his veins. You could almost taste his jumping heartbeat in that stiff neck of his. Shallow breathing is too audible now, no matter how much he tries to hide it with small huffs and shifting weights.

You breathe out once more, trying and nailing that last steel nail into the undeniably stuffy coffin that was his head right now. "Please officer Hackett..." his Adam's apple bops once more. "I'll be really, really good? I won't be able to do much behind the bars, anyway, well, other than making you feel good." His breath hitches. A cough. Bingo. Time to switch it up a bit.

A somber look settles in your eyes. His eyes shift at the change. "Or you could kill me right now. But you won't be so cruel, would you? Won't you at least grant my last wish?"

It's a possibility. One that you're willing to risk. If you had to continue to remain in that cell, unable to touch him, feel him, yet only a few feet away, and each time, in his presence, the rhythm in your heart crescendos between the ears, the deafening silence doing nothing to dampen its roar, his feature a mirage you could only seek out in your dreams? No.

No. If you died for this, so be it. You had to have him. Even for once.

Desperation bleeds through your lips, and you beg earnestly. "Please, please, just once." You see his resolve gets chipped away around the edge. The harsh glare is long gone, wavering with uncertainty. With consideration.

"It'll be our little secret."

The gun is finally, finally lowered at his feet. His lips move this way and that, mulling over what you've said to him. His contemplative eyes snap up to your own hopeful ones once or twice, each time quickly looking down, but with added pink to his ears.

After what felt like eons, he speaks up. "Stay right where you are. Do not move." The gun is returned to the holster, although his steps are still measured, careful. When he takes ahold of your awaiting wrists, his grip isn't tight like before. You could almost call it gentle, if not for the firmness that just seemed natural when it came to Sheriff Hackett.

He cuffs you for the short walk to the cell. Once inside, your shoulders slump. This must be it. He wasn't buying what you oh so hopelessly wished to sell him. All that show for nothing, although it was worth a shot. When he takes the cuffs away and locks the metal door, you think of just lying down on your sad cot and dreaming of him.

His tone sounds neutral, quiet. "Turn around." When you do as told, you spot hesitancy in his eyes, and your heart skips a beat. "Come over here." You notice he's standing at the far right side of the cell, away from the door. You step closer, his scent getting stronger, never have you cursed an inanimate object like you did then, at the damning bars that separated the two of you. His eyes bore into yours, the dim light making them seem like a pair of bottomless pits. He takes a breath, before he utters with strange mixture of strain and weight. "On your knees." At that sentence your knees wobble, your useless legs easily guiding you to the cold concrete floor. "Hands through the bars." Again you are meek as a mouse, mesmerized by his deft hands swiftly clicking the cuffs in place. Now you can't get away even if you wanted to, the bar between your arms will get in the way of the cuffs if you tried.

With him in his uniform, towering over your half-bare, kneeling and bound state, it must be doing things to him, because at this angle you can't help but notice the straining bulge.

Not that you had any intention to pull away.

"You said you wanted this." He swallows, obviously trying to play off his nervousness anyway possible. The blush says otherwise. Silly man. He tries a few times to get the words out. "Show me." He manages.

And who are you to disappoint? If this is the last chance...might as well give him one hell of a show.

[caiuscassiuss]

oppa! | ot7 (prologue)

Description: Being raised by a caring yet distant father, a close, tight-knit family is the one thing you have craved in your short life. After your adventurer father remarries a rich woman, you’re stuck with seven new brothers. Seven very hot, very different men. 

This is not what you meant by family.

(Based on the anime and game Brother’s Conflict, but with a twist.)

Prologue

Genre: Fluff | romance | later angst and smut. PG

WC: 2k

Warnings: For this chapter, none other than cursing.

(After some readers wanted me to post Oppa! on Tumblr, I have delivered! I really hope y’all like this haha)

[ The prologue delivers hints on who each brother will be. These hints will be bolded. Some will be very apparent, some will not. ]

Rubbing your head, your eyes glazed over the notes you took from yesterday’s lecture in preparation for today. Were you on drugs when you wrote these? It looked like chicken scratch. Was that drool in the corner?

Your ears perked up at the strains of loud music coming out of your friend’s Airpods. Hyerim, your closest friend at University, seemed oblivious as she bopped her head to the hard beat. Several classmates around the lecture hall noticed too, yet weren’t as accommodating as you and sent judgemental looks towards Hyerim.

“Hyerim,” you whispered, aware that class was starting in a few minutes. She didn’t respond, still nodding along to the music.

Pursing your lips, you plucked the small pod out of her ear. “Hyerim, your music—”

She gasped, eyes lighting up in excitement. “You liked it? Okay, so I was listening to this random rapper on SoundCloud—”

“Your music's too loud —” you hissed.

“—but the real feature is the producer, who made this beat. His name is Yoongi—” Hyerim continued on obviously, caught up in her own world.

“—that’s lovely, but can you turn your music down—” you pestered, looking around worriedly.

“—but his producer name is Gloss and he’s so talented and hot and his voice —”

Seeing the majority of the seats in the hall being filled up, you clamped your palm over her lips. She let out a whimper, finely shaped brows frowning at you.

“Have you not noticed the five separate glares you are currently getting at this moment?” you said between gritted teeth, enunciating each constant hard. You stared down each person around you who was giving Hyerim looks and, embarrassed, they averted their eyes and busied themselves with something.

“Oh wait, what?” Hyerim exclaimed. Closing a fist over her AirPod, the music continued and her eyes widened as she realized how high she had turned up the volume.

Hyerim turned to the person on her other side. “I am so sorry,” she said apologetically, the random student smiling awkwardly in acceptance.

Rolling your eyes with an unbidden smile poking at the edge of your lips, you turned back to the disaster of your notes. How were you supposed to understand this lecture when you barely wrapped your head around the last one? However, you honed in on your Calculus woes to ignore how your phone burned in your pocket and the latest text you got from your father...

So focused on your lamentation, you didn’t notice the boy behind you clear his throat. Nor did you notice the second or third time he did, each one getting progressively louder. As you attempted to retrace the argument on your paper, you felt a tap on your shoulder.

“Excuse me?”

Whipping your head around, you craned your neck upwards to see where the tap had come from. To your surprise, you saw a very cute-looking boy, bangs pulled into a top knot, smiling apologetically at you from behind you.

“Hi! Yeah, do you need anything?” you smiled.

A blush rose on his chiseled cheekbones and he rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m super sorry to bother you about this, but I dropped my charger right next to your chair. I- uh, would you mind—?”

“Of course! No worries, it happens,” you comforted, bending down to get the coiled white wire from where your bag sat. “Here you go.”

He got up from his seat to hunch over the lecture hall desk to meet you in the middle. You eyed the large difference between each of your hands’ as you handed back the charger, as well as how huge his shoulders seemed up close.

“T-Thanks, I really appreciate it.”

“No problem,” you replied, turning around to open your laptop.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Hyerim’s mouth partially open in disbelief.

“You need something?” you prodded.

“I—” she took a glance at the boy behind you, as if confirming something— “I’ll tell you later.”

Shrugging, you zeroed in at the lecturer at the front of the hall.

“Alright, so what was that about?”

Your Calculus lecture had just ended, and the two of you were in the mob of students leaving the lecture halls to get to lunch.

Hyerim looked surreptitiously around, black bangs swishing around her face. She leaned in like she was about to share the juiciest piece of gossip, and you unconsciously did so too.

“Did you know who that is?” she asked, her voice a whisper.

You felt your forehead crease and you gave her a look. “No, I did not.”

“Really?!” Hyerim pitched her voice high in disbelief.

You gave her a dry look.

It was her turn to roll her eyes. “Sometimes, I swear you’re in your own world, Y/N.”

Incredulous, you opened your mouth to argue but she waved a hand in front of you.

“That was Jeon Jungkook, Y/N! How do you not know him?”

“Oh yeah,” you snapped your fingers. “He’s that Streamer dude, right? He games and shit.”

Hyerim nodded slowly.

However, you frowned. “I heard he was intimidating and cold and stuff. Are you sure that was him? Charger boy was super nice.”

“That’s the point! It was Jung Jungkook and I have never seen him acting this soft. What did you do, ma’am? Snap him? Flash him?”

“Who do you think I am?” you sputtered. “All I was doing was thinking about how much I hated Calculus, not— not seducing someone!”

Your friend gave you a suspicious look, but decided to let go of the topic. Shaking your head, you walked past the gates of Yonsei university and into the city proper on the lookout for your favorite food place. The beeping of horns, buzzing chatter, and the small of smog filled the air as you zig-zagged between side streets to avoid busy roads.

“Excuse me,” you muttered as you pushed your way through a mob of women all entranced by something above you. Since they were not moving, you huffed and decided to see what was worth all the hype.

It was a huge, flashing LED billboard that was the central focus of the square. On it, a very sensuous looking man with blond hair and a velvet, tight-fitting suit doing some very slick moves in a dark concert hall.

Happy Birthday Jimin! It read in bright white font.

“Wah, oppa is so handsome!” a woman, who must’ve been 5 years older than the man on the screen squealed behind her white medical mask. “I’m so glad our ad turned out well.”

Her friends agreed and ooh and aahed along with her. You turned around to see if Hyerim was following you but she stood, entranced, with the mob of women on the sidewalk.

“You can thirst over him later, preferably when I am well fed,” you snapped irritably, pulling at the pink flowy material of her blouse.

She pouted but acquiesced, taking your hand as you dragged her though the intersection. All you were focused on were some good dumplings, after the mental aerobotics Calculus had forced on you and the emotional stress your father was putting you through. As you turned the corner, you breathed a sigh of relief as you saw no line.

Nestled between a large office building and a parking deck, this tiny Japanese restaurant was a favorite among Uni students for its cheap prices and good food. You usually had to arrive here early to beat the line of students and office workers that gathered here for their dinner breaks.

The cute sign that said Umaido flashed brightly above your head as you entered the restaurant. To the side of the main sigh, a smaller print reading “by the RM Group” glowed, subdued.

Waving over a pimply teen, you ordered two servings of gyoza and waited for Hyerim. She ordered a very conservative meal of sushi and some salad, and you both watched the waiter retreat. Something glossy caught the attention of your eye, and you saw some magazines on the shelf next to your head. The main one in the middle, which looked like a new age artsy publication with a cult following, was simply titled with a white V at the bottom corner.

Like a robot that was powered off, you collapsed in your seat and put your head in your hands. You really did not want to look at your phone.

“Was Calculus really that bad?” Hyerim winced in sympathy, neatly patting your head.

“It isn’t Calc,” you mumbled. “It’s Dad.”

Her expression turned down even more. “What happened?”

Lifting your head from your arms, you propped your chin on your palm and looked out the window. “You know, you’d expect for someone to give you important news in person or at least over a phone call, right?”

“Yeah?” Hyerim asked, lips pursed in confusion.

“Like, if you got remarried or something , you would at least tell your loved ones in person or at least over the phone, right ?”

“... Shit, Y/N.”

Fumbling for your phone in your bag, you ignored the notifications and pulled up your latest conversation. “Look what he texted me this morning!”

Hyerim took your phone and scrolled through it with a manicured fingernail.

Dad : I wish I could call you, but I’m somewhere with limited service.

Dad : I just wanted to let you know I got remarried to this amazing woman, Kim Seoyeon, a few days ago. We met and just clicked, something I haven’t felt since your mom.

Dad : She has seven sons, all of them are grown up. I’m worried about you living on your own, so I’d like you to move in with them. Details coming soon. Love you.

Hyerim was speechless, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. “I’m sorry, what?”

“My dad has gotten spontaneously remarried to some random woman and now wants me to move in with her sons. Like, geez, it’s not like life changing news was delivered to me in less than a hundred words!” you hissed, voice getting higher and tinged with a bit of hysteria.

“Your dad sucks,” Hyerim pronounced, taking a pointed sip of her iced water. “Seriously.”

“Hey, my dad is not that bad,” you defended. “It’s just… he’s a bit distant. Absent-minded. But he’s cared for me in the best way he could.”

“You and I have very different definitions of what constitutes good parenting, Y/N. This man left you largely on your own since you were five, and now he gets worried about you living on your own? Something's not right,” Hyerim retorted.

Ignoring her in favor of the food that arrived, you practically inhaled twelve of the fried gyoza. Rolling her eyes at your typical running-away behavior, she primly dipped a piece of sashimi in soy sauce and took a dainty bite.

“So? What’s the plan? Are you going to stage a rebellion and stay in your apartment, or go stay with some random men?”

Your response was cut off as cheers broke out from the corner of the restaurant, where a large group of men and women were huddled together.

“Cheers to our National win!” a man announced, his face already a bit flushed. “To Neuron!”

“To Neuron!” the group cheered loudly, and lifted up their shot glasses in celebration.

“To our leader, J-Hope!” the same man pronounced brightly, some sake sloshing over the tip of his cup.

“Hoseok!” the group whooped louder, more rounds going around.

As their cheers quieted down, you turned back to Hyerim. “I don’t know. I think I’ll decide when I meet them. They could either all be idiots or they could be chill. I really hope for the latter.”

“Good plan, good plan.”

An awkward silence permeated the booth since both of you were at a loss to say something.

“Onto lighter things, “ Hyerim forced out brightly, clapping her hands. “Let me tell you about my younger brother’s really hot doctor. His name is Dr. Kim and he’s tall and…”

As Hyerim continued to babble on about the tall, handsome pediatric doctor, you felt a buzz in your pocket.

Dad: Their address is 111 Hannam-dong, Yongsan-su

Dad: They’re ready for you.

Can you guess who each stepbrother is and what they do? Comment below!!

Arc 1: Stepbrother Introductions will be released on February 15th at 8pm ET. It’s about ~15k words of getting to know these boys. Please look out for it!

[shinebrightlikeanarwhal]

what if Larry found Travis very injured because of his father before they were friends like might die if not taken to a hospital injured

Larry would have still hated Travis but I think we can all agree he’s too much of a softie if someone weak was beaten up by someone stronger. Especially the heavy disadvantage a parent has over a young child? Like adult Travis would be able to hold his own if he didn’t have triggers that Kenneth knew, but teen Travis was putty in Kenneth’s hand.

At first I really think there would be disbelief. Like at first he’d snort and ask if Travis finally picked the wrong target. But (if Travis is still conscious) Travis flinches away from Larry reaching to help him, he kind of slowly pieces it together. Bruises from fights Travis didn’t have. Travis doesn’t necessarily act out outside of school. In fact most adults don’t even know he bullies people. He’s always picture perfect outside and at church. The only times Travis is a problem is when he is already injured. Travis doesn’t even have a swollen eye. He vividly remembers the cute little toddler that was introduced to his class years ago with the brightest hazel eyes. A nervous wreck that opened up to be a bubbly little Angel to everyone. It makes sense though. In middle school Travis took a nose dive. He stopped talking to everyone. His hair, once hidden behind hats, now bleach blonde and visibly fried. A horrible black eye now a comical staple for Travis. It was Kenneth’s fucking fault.

Larry is pissed when he takes Travis home to help clean him up. Obvious signs of (you know, a boose I’m not trying to get yeeted by Tumblr ;0;) on Travis and the violent recoil from all touch. It starts clicking on Travis’ violent actions at school. Physical contact sickens him. He doesn’t like being touched so to protect himself he swings first. Now he doesn’t understand why Sal? He usually didn’t physically bother anyone but Sal seemed to trigger a primal rage in Travis’ autopilot.

He asks Lisa for help taking Travis to the hospital. Beloved Saint Lisa is already on the phone. She’s already told the tea druggie upstairs what’s going on. She even opts to ask Sal if he can help but Travis panics. Fussing and crying at this point. He didn’t want to go to the hospital but he definitely can’t have Sal near him. Larry would take offense but Travis can’t tell. He mustn’t. Just repeats that ‘father will be mad’ and huddles into a tight ball. Defense mechanism

When they finally take Travis to the hospital Larry has to watch them gaslight him and his mom while they barely treat Travis, cover up the damage and call Kenneth in. Kenneth pretends to be a worried father and it’s very blatant the terror Travis feels when he sees Kenneth outside his room. The heart monitor is about to combust and none of the nurses are allowed to comfort him. The head doctors are part of the cult.

Larry is quick to tell Sal everything. He doesn’t even hesitate to drag Neil and Todd in. This cult shit is dangerous, especially at a time before cell phones like ours now?? Like modern AU, Larry would have recorded the hospital incident and posted it everywhere. But canon compliant? He can’t do anything.

He wouldn’t entirely be hating Travis after that, but he would pity him. He’s never seen that kind of fear in anyone. Remembering an almost dead Travis laid out on some grass. No shoes and feet torn up from running. The look regret when he looks back to see Travis staring so sadly after him. Watching people leave him with that monster.

He almost feels sick going to school and not seeing Travis for almost a week. When Travis comes back he’s so quiet. Even Philip cant rouse conversation out of him. Which is insane, Philip is the only person that usually could crack a smile out of him. Larry doesn’t like knowing and not helping. He hates that he can’t hate Travis entirely anymore. Although Sals petty lil ass is no help.

“I told you, it’s just dad.”

“Yeah, no shit Sally..”

“… sorry.”

[lowkeyorloki]

Goldfish

Pairing: Loki x Mobius

Rating: Teen and up, but nothing more than a couple kisses

A/N: Hiiii sorry I’m never on here anymore I’m a bit busy and I don’t have time to post consistently on tumblr if I want to keep updating my multichapter! I know this isn’t my usual content but I’m posting it on my ao3 so I figured I’d drop it here as well ^.^ it’s funny, I don’t even ship lokius but I saw some fanart on twitter of them hugging and it just... inspired me. If this is your thing, I hope you enjoy <3

~

It’s just that… Loki knows it will have to be him.

He can’t read Mobius, not like he can every other human he comes across. Or being, even. Mobius has seen every moment of Loki’s life, some of which Loki himself will now never live out or understand. Mobius has watched Loki in his most private moments.

It makes the TVA agent inescapable. He knows Loki, truly knows him, whether Loki likes it or not. 

And so Loki can’t tell with Mobius. The small exhaled laughs or the allowance of Loki to fix his tie. Loki doesn’t know if Mobius does these things because he wants to, or because Loki would like to think the other man wants him to. 

And Mobius is loyal to the TVA, anyway. Even if he were to look past all of Loki’s faults, even if Mobius were to see Loki as anything more than a pain in the ass of a friend, he wouldn’t do anything. It was controversial enough to bring in Loki at all.

Loki should be thankful he has Mobius in any capacity at all. 

And so Loki knows he would have to make the first move. And he can’t do that, because Mobius is possibly the only person who could destroy Loki with a simple rejection. 

Loki keeps quiet, and lives for when his shoulder brushes Mobius’s in the elevator. 

~

Trying to find the variant is exhausting. Mobius is on his seventh cup of coffee, and his head is starting to buzz. Not the good, productive type of buzz either. The type that makes someone need to lay down. 

Apparently, Loki has already had that idea. Mobius glances at him, asleep across the table and surrounded by books and loose papers. As he drains the last of what’s in his cup, Mobius realizes he hasn’t seen Loki eat or drink a single thing since he got here. If he had to, Mobius would bet money the god hasn’t been sleeping either. 

Mobius stands up, his back cracking when he does. He groans - Mobius is getting old, something he’s noticed more and more lately. He walks around the table until he’s right next to Loki, ready to wake him up. Loki’s breaths are even, hitting the ends of a few pieces of paper. Mobius has never really seen him like this - calm, subdued. He almost looks peaceful. Mobius leans over Loki, hands on his hips as he examines the other man. 

Mobius would never tell Loki, but it is obvious that the dark-haired man is a god. There are just things about his looks that clue Mobius in. 

Loki’s skin, even as it’s gotten dull with his time in the TVA, is technically flawless. He glows, even in his embarrassing or rude moments. His cheekbones are impossibly sharp, and his lips are the reddest Mobius has seen. He would guess they’re soft. 

Loki’s hair was the most dead giveaway. It always looked perfect, loose curls that seemed to suck in any light. It was the opposite of Mobius’s graying blond hair. He’s shiny. Everything about Loki is shiny. 

Loki stirs, and Mobius straightens up, not wanting Loki to see him watching. He was upset enough that Mobius has watched his entire life over. 

Mobius ponders how to wake Loki up when a lock of his black hair falls into his face. Without thinking, Mobius reaches forward and tucks it behind the man’s ear.

Reckless. Loki really does start to wake up then, and Mobius swats him with the corner of the folders in his hand. 

“Come on,” Mobius says. “We’re not even close to done.”

~

The two of them are so close to making strides. Loki is smart, just like Mobius knew - just like he keeps convincing Ravonna - but he’s being held back. It’s like a single wrong look could make Loki wither away, be absent for the rest of the day. Mobius has no clue how someone who thought so highly of himself could be so affected by the glare of a random agent. Maybe Mobius didn’t know Loki as well as he thought. Only in small ways, though. 

And Mobius still hasn’t seen him eat or drink a damn thing. 

He stands up abruptly, surprising Loki. His head shoots up, perfect curls becoming loose and falling in his face in the process. Mobius almost considers brushing them away. 

“Come on,” he says, gesturing towards the exit. Loki narrows his eyes.

“We haven’t even been here four hours,” he says, which is generous, because they both know they’ve only been there for two. Mobius lets out a harsh sigh. 

“Am I the supervisor or are you? Let’s go, Loki.” Loki seems to know Mobius is doing him a favor, and stands up as well. Loki follows him down a new set of hallways, stands next to him in an elevator he hasn’t been on yet. 

“Am I to take it we’re breaking the rules, or…?” Loki trails off in a way that is anything but unsure. 

“It’s for the sake of the cause,” Mobius says. “We don’t need to address it directly.”

Mobius does look over his shoulder when he gets to the door, and locks it as soon as they’re both inside. He flicks on the lights, and Loki looks bored. Mobius lets out an exasperated sigh.

“Don’t say I never did anything for you. Sit down,” he gestures towards the couch. 

“Agent Mobius, are you allowing me in your home?” Loki’s eyes glint. Despite himself, Mobius finds himself relieved to hear Loki making quips again. He already might have more energy. 

“Hey, if we don’t talk about it, my job security looks a lot better,” Mobius sets a bowl down in front of Loki. “Will you please eat something? God or not, I don’t know how you’re still alive after a month.” Loki presses his lips into a thin line.

“Mobius, I appreciate the gesture, but you don’t need to -” Mobius is already prepared, and tosses a piece of food directly into Loki’s mouth as he speaks. He makes a gagging noise, and looks at Mobius furiously, but the other man is already laughing. 

“What… what are these?” He asks after swallowing, seemingly admitting defeat. Mobius laughs again.

“Goldfish. They’re from Earth you know,” Mobius eats a few, and quietly celebrates when Loki does as well. 

“Goldfish. I know of an employee you have that might benefit from these,” Loki tells him. 

“I’m flattered you think I’m anyone’s, especially Casey’s, superior. But really, the only person I’m in charge of is you,” Mobius says. Loki glares. 

“I’m always ten steps ahead of you all. Surely you know that,” he says, but it’s non-committal. Mobius can tell. 

“Yep. You’ve said before, handsome. This is all part of your plan.” Mobius looks to Loki for his next retort, but Loki doesn’t say anything. He stares at Mobius with an unreadable look on his face, and Mobius realizes his slip up. Handsome.

“Hey, don’t let my crackers go to waste. They’re hard to get a hold of around here, you know,” Mobius says, and Loki seems to move.

They stay like that for awhile, Loki sitting as Mobius watches over him. Mobius is just getting comfortable again when Loki gets up.

“It’s been great, but we probably should be heading back now,” he says, walking towards the door. “Wouldn’t want the timekeepers finding out about this, would we?”

Mobius stops him, carefully telling him to wait. Loki does, back facing him.

“I can tell you’re tired, Loki. I get it. You got here just after a war,” Loki tenses, just barely, at the mention of New York. Mobius talks faster to smooth it over. “I think you can take a day off. Better for me anyway. I don’t want to be sticking my neck out for someone who isn’t even helping all that much.” Mobius puts his hand on Loki’s shoulder. 

He’s always shocked by the amount of muscle he can feel through the material of Loki’s shirt. Loki seems so lean, but whenever Mobius touches him, he can feel how solid the other man is. He likes it. It’s soothing.

Loki turns around, looking suspicious. Mobius doesn’t blame Loki, but he does almost feel guilty. 

Almost.

“You can sleep here. Not just today. I’m sure the cot they have you sleeping in hardly compares to whatever you had on Asgard,” Mobius steps away, letting Loki go and waving his hand. “My couch doesn’t either, but it’s an upgrade for sure. Living room is all yours, buddy.”

“Where are you going?” Loki asks. Mobius looks at him. 

“To my room. I’m tired too,” he says. Loki blinks. 

“Won’t someone notice I’m not where I’m supposed to be?”

“I’ll take care of it,” Mobius says dismissively, even though he has no idea how he’s going to pull this off.

He’s practically made Loki a promise at this point. He’ll figure out how to make it all okay somehow. 

~

It’s driving Loki insane. 

Before, he could keep it all in because he was scared that Mobius wouldn’t want it. Wouldn’t want him. But now, there are moments that Loki doesn’t care. He doesn’t care that Mobius might push him away, give him that disapproving look if it meant Loki could just…

Kiss him. 

Loki scoffs at himself. He didn’t even get this caught up in the thought of a kiss as a boy. It was pathetic to feel like this in adulthood. 

What’s even worse is the thought that maybe this is how it’s supposed to be. He can recall watching Thor on Earth as he followed around Jane Foster, losing every bit of charm that kept him so popular on Asgard. At the time, Loki didn’t understand it.

But now he does. 

Everything is so high stakes for him - Loki is doomed if he doesn’t do as the TVA wants, and he would have been doomed had he just stayed on Earth like he was supposed to. But he barely even pays attention to those things.

Every waking moment is about Mobius. How he looks in the morning before he showers, hair tousled as he digs around in the fridge. The way his face lights up when he and Loki almost find the variant, and then the inevitable disappointment when they don’t. How every night, without fail, he tells Loki goodnight as the god falls asleep on his couch. 

Loki is starting to think there is something here. Because he’s paranoid, but not stupid. Mobius wouldn’t be letting Loki get this close if he thought the same way as when they first met. 

They enjoy each other. Mobius likes to lead, to rebel in the way he’s been given permission to. And Loki is realizing he doesn’t mind following a man like Mobius. 

~

Of course, the TVA isn’t so bad either. 

The organization itself, Loki hates. He’s never met the timekeepers, but they sound like kings. That was a group Loki never got along with. 

But the buildings, the center, was growing on him. Even if he wasn’t allowed access to most of the materials, Loki likes the library. He enjoys staying deep in the bookshelves, and bringing a stack out to drop right on the book Mobius is reading. Loki likes the elevators, which seemed to be the few minutes he could simply stand in silence and rest. He likes Casey too, though he tends to leave the poor, sad man alone now. 

Most of all, Loki likes the long hallways that rarely had anyone but him and Mobius. They feel private without being stifling. Sometimes, when the two go back to Mobius’s apartment too early, Loki feels sick. Like it physically hurts to be so close to having what he wants.

~

“That brown suit is hideous, you know.” Loki tells Mobius as they’re both getting ready. Mobius scowls at Loki.

“It’s uniform. You know, if everything works out, you might get one just like it,” Mobius retorts. Loki scoffs. “Alright then, mr. prince. What would you have me in?”

Loki stops, his eyes trailing over Mobius as he thinks about the question. Loki smirks, turning around as he grabs his belt.

“Anything else. You always look so uptight. No one here knows how to let loose a bit.”

“I’m uptight. That’s a good one,” Mobius says. He’s standing by the door, wanting to leave. “Could you hurry up and put your pants on? We’re late.”

All Loki is doing is tucking his shirt in, but he thinks he can feel Mobius looking. It’s in a way that doesn’t seem strictly observational. 

~

The nightmares, of course, are an issue. 

Loki hasn’t shared a room since he and Thor were children, so no one knows about the night terrors he gets. Maybe Mobius does, having had a glance at a few as he watched Loki’s life play out on the screen. But Loki doesn’t think so, because Mobius has never said anything. 

But of course, Loki has to ruin that. He wakes up with a shout that echoes off the walls. He slaps a hand over his mouth, then pulls it away, sticky with sweat. He’s pinching the bridge of his nose when Mobius bursts into the living room, slamming his hand over the light switch to turn it on.

“I’m sorry,” Loki says immediately, squinting at the brightness. “I didn’t mean to be so loud. I know you would get in trouble if someone were to find me here.”

“You.. I’d…” Mobius blinks, still half asleep and trying to figure out what’s happening. “Loki, are you alright?”

“I’m fine. Go back to bed, Mobius.” Loki leans more into his palm, cursing himself for letting this happen. If Mobius knows Loki like he claims to, he should just go.

Mobius stays in the doorway, and Loki can practically hear the gears turning in his head. Mobius sighs.

“Look, I’m not gonna ask you what it was, but… why don’t you sleep in here for tonight?” He gestures behind him, presumably towards his bed. Loki raises his head, looking at the other man.

Mobius looks sincere - painfully so. It seems like he doesn’t know what’s going on or what he should do, but he also looks like he just wants Loki to listen. 

Loki gets up, folding the blanket on the couch before he follows Mobius. Loki crawls into the bed after the other man, staying as far away as possible. He expects Mobius to say something else, but he doesn’t. Mobius just sighs and yanks the blanket towards him. 

~

Loki wakes up feeling amazing. 

He feels rested, warm and heavy as he stirs. The room smells like sleep, and Loki can’t help but raise his arms above his head and stretch. That’s when he feels something on his chest. Loki opens his eyes, peering down. Mobius’s arm is slung over him, the other man still asleep. 

Loki doesn’t move, trying to figure out how asleep Mobius still is. He wonders if they can stay like this for a few more minutes. 

He doesn’t take the chance. Loki gets up, quietly leaving so he can take a shower in the bathroom where his toothbrush sits next to Mobius’s. 

~

Mobius doesn’t like this shift in his feelings. 

He liked thinking Loki was all bravado with no depth. It was easy to separate everything that way. What was work, and what wasn’t. What mattered and didn’t. 

What was ethical or not. 

Being around Loki so much was making Mobius like him. Even worse, care. He started to dread rewatching certain scenes from his life to look for clues that might tell him where other Lokis are, because Mobius can see the effects of it all now. They’re playing out in front of him, sleeping on his living room couch. 

When Loki wakes up from whatever he was dreaming about, Mobius feels sick. He doesn’t even think about the fact Loki’s cry is loud enough to get caught - literally does not even occur to him. His only thought is, what now? What could possibly catch up to you here?

After Loki lays down in his bed (which was easier to get him to do than Mobius thought), Mobius listens for his breathing to even out. Then he reaches over, resting his arm on Loki’s chest. Mobius falls asleep making sure Loki is still breathing. 

~

Mobius notices the way Loki looks at him. The realization makes Mobius think about the two of them. What it would mean. 

It hasn’t even occurred to him to look at Loki like that, not seriously. Loki is an asset, so Mobius built up a ton of walls for the sake of professionalism. You know, for his job. Mobius is aware of Loki’s attractiveness because he has to be. It’s part of the reason all these Lokis get away with so much. 

But after that night Mobius begins to look at Loki because he can. And then he realizes he’s been doing that all along. 

“You know,” Mobius tells Loki the next afternoon. They’re in the cafeteria, and Loki is eating everything in his salad but the cherry tomatoes. “It might be better if you stay with me again tonight. Like you said, we wouldn’t want any of my neighbors to pick up on anything.” Loki raises an eyebrow, carefully setting his fork down. Mobius clears his throat.

“No need to be embarrassed, partner. I’m told I have a soothing presence.”

“I absolutely would not say that,” Loki says. “But… if you insist. After all,” Loki’s eyes glint. “You’re in charge.”

Mobius doesn’t know what to say to that, and drinks a cup of water in just one gulp.

~

And they settle into it. Loki doesn’t sneak out of Mobius’s arms, in fact, he actively seeks them out. Only once everything is quiet and the lights are out, but still. Loki tucks his head under Mobius’s chin, Mobius wraps his arms around Loki’s torso, and they both like it. A lot.

They don’t mention it ever, but it doesn’t seem like something they aren’t allowed to talk about. It’s just part of the routine. Shower, study, search, eat, get in bed. It’s nice. 

At some point, Loki realizes this is the longest he’s stayed in one place for a very long time. 

~

Just like Loki thought, he’s the first to do it. 

They’re in the elevator, and it’s taking a particularly long time, and Mobius decided to stand closer than he needed to and Loki just… kisses him. 

The best part is, Mobius doesn’t even seem surprised. He opens his mouth when Loki bites down on his lip, and he holds on to the lapels of Loki’s jacket and Loki cradles his face. Everything is so familiar, so natural, and Loki can’t help but smile against Mobius’s stupid mustache. 

And then Loki pulls away. Mobius doesn’t say anything, but he gives Loki a sad smile. Loki feels his blood run cold. 

“What?” He asks, and suddenly, he feels like a child. Like Mobius knows something he doesn’t, and now Loki is going to be chastised. 

“Nothing,” Mobius says, but that’s obviously not true. He sighs. “It’s just… that can't happen again.”

Loki stares at Mobius. “Why?” He demands. “Did you like it?”

“Yes,” Mobius says. His hands are resting on Loki’s waist, but he slides one over Loki's stomach. Mobius’s fingers find their way through the holes that the buttons of Loki’s shirt leave. The feeling of Mobius’s fingers on Loki’s bare skin make Loki dizzy, and confused. 

“Then why can’t we do it again?” He asks, wanting to rip Mobius’s hand off of him, but unable to bring himself to. Mobius grimaces. 

“Loki... Isn’t what we got goin’ enough?” Loki is cool under Mobius’s fingers. No more than anyone else though, even with his frost giant heritage. “C’mon, Loki,” when Mobius glances at Loki, then immediately looks away. The sight of Loki’s disorientated face, combined with his mouth slightly ajar… it’s too much. “You know if it goes any further one of us will screw up. I’ll even say it’ll be me. But someone would notice. It’d be impossible for them not to.”

“But… you’re the one who started this,” Loki protests, and he’s right, because Mobius is the one who brought him into this whole mess. The TVA, his apartment, his bedroom. It’s all been Mobius. Loki never asked for any of that. 

“I know,” Mobius says, and he sounds like he’s sorry. “Listen, I know. I’m sorry. We can’t have it all, but if we keep going the way we have, we can still have some.”

Loki steps away, and Mobius’s face falls. He looks more angry than sad. 

“I think I’d like to go back to my cell now.” Loki says. 

~

Loki doesn’t actually go back to his cell. But he does sleep on the couch again, and refuses to touch the Goldfish Mobius leaves out.

Mobius feels like a dick, but he’s also sort of pissed. He’s not happy about this either, and if Loki wasn’t always so selfish, he would see that Mobius also isn’t prancing around in happiness. 

“I’m not like you,” Mobius tells Loki the next morning. “Look, I can’t just… rebel. It’s not a luxury I’ve been afforded.”

“I’m glad that after seeing my entire life and death, you’ve settled on the word ‘luxury’ to describe it,” Loki responds angrily, and Mobius just backs off. He knows he won’t get anywhere with Loki, not like this. 

~

Watching Loki close himself off is… exactly what Mobius would have thought it would be. 

It’s exactly the same as when Loki arrived at the TVA, he’s just less defensive. Loki is just as mad at everyone else, but with Mobius, Loki doesn’t even give him a reaction. He does exactly what’s asked of him, no more and no less. 

Mobius misses him. 

Loki is just across the table, but Mobius misses their rapport. He wants to tease the god again, hassle him as they make their way to the cafeteria. Mobius wants to listen to Loki talk about Asgard, tell him all the little details that can’t be picked up on a screen. He wants his friend back. 

And now Mobius isn’t sleeping, either. He grew used to Loki’s head resting on his chest, the feeling of his hip in his hand. Mobius thinks about the skin of Loki’s stomach, how everything in the elevator felt. 

It was like Mobius lit up. He felt alive again, with free will and all.

But of course, Mobius doesn’t have free will. If he did, he’d pull Loki into the elevator himself, and show Loki just how much wanted this too. 

~

It hurts because Loki knows Mobius wants this. 

It’s almost worse than if he didn’t - because Mobius liking, wanting, and maybe even needing Loki back, it makes him like everything else in Loki’s life. Loki is so close, he can reach it, even hold it in the palm of his hand. A life with Mobius, at least for the time being, would be exactly as it was before the argument, except more so. Just a bit more. 

Loki can’t take it. He feels like he’s going to vomit every second of the day, because his life is a vicious cycle and coming so far just to be thrown away.  He takes long showers now, the stream of water being the only thing that can drown out his thoughts. Loki almost doesn’t see Mobius as he steps out of the bathroom, drying his hair. 

“Loki,” the other man says, and his tone is so grave that Loki stops. 

“Mobius,” he responds. “Do you need something?”

“I… I wanted to apologize,” Mobius takes a step forward. “For what I said.”

Loki tilts his head. “For which part? I recall quite a few things.” A look of exasperation passes over Mobius’s face. Loki hates to admit it, but the look is relieving. It makes everything seem less serious than it is. 

“What I said about not being like you,” Mobius explains. “Look, I know you’ve felt alone your whole life. And the way I said that, I don’t feel good about it. I’m sorry.”

Loki blinks, then throws his towel in the hamper. 

“It’s fine,” he says. Mobius shakes his head, stepping even closer, and Loki raises his eyes. 

“No, Loki, it’s not,” Mobius reaches up, running his fingers through Loki’s damp hair. “I lied,” he murmurs. “I lied to the God of Lies. I am like you, Loki. I’m your kind. I know Lokis, so I know who you would have been. But this you?” Mobius places his hands over Loki’s hips and pushes, pressing Loki’s back against the wall. “I’m still getting to know who you are now. And I like you, Loki. I really do.” Mobius stares at Loki expectantly. Loki swallows, resting his hands on Mobius’s shoulders. Mobius is softer than Loki is, and it makes Loki’s mouth water. From here, Loki can see every wrinkle and gray hair that Mobius has. He’s painfully human. Loki closes his eyes, leaning forward to press his lips against Mobius’s temple. 

“Do you mean it?” He asks. “Will it stick? Are you going to call it all off?” At this angle, Mobius can reach Loki’s neck, and he begins to suck on the delicate skin there. Loki lets out a moan. 

“I can’t promise we’re gonna get married and be together forever,” Mobius teases Loki lightly. He runs his tongue over Loki’s Adam’s Apple. “But I’m not gonna stop just because of the TVA. You.. you’re worth more than that.” Mobius slides his palms under Loki’s shirt and up his back, and Loki melts into him. “I promise.”

“Okay,” Loki says, because that’s all there is to say. He trusts Mobius, Loki realizes. He wholeheartedly does. 

“Loki,” Mobius says, exhaling. “Can I touch you? Do you want me to touch you?”

Loki straightens, catching Mobius’s eye. 

“Yes.”

[ialreadyreadthatfanfic]

It's been 20 years

I've always been a proponent of firm divide between fandom and creators, and by extension, between creation and the creator. It was instinctive, mostly because I find the idea of creators commenting on fanworks in public invokes in me very strong embarrassment, both first- and second-hand (and it kinda ties in with the reasons I don't vibe with RPF). And in many ways, this is a very comfortable seat to be sitting in! The author is dead, my city now. If the actor playing my fave says something stupid, I don't have to care about it. I was into MCU, I was into Sherlock, I was on Tumblr in 2012, I am familiar with the ways that creators, actors, writers can fuck over fandom and be fucked over by fandom. It is very freeing to Not Care. But sometimes even shooting the author at point-blank range is not enough. This is about JKR and Harry Potter series, actually. In last weeks I've heard some echoes about the new HP game, the one where the plot is apparently that you're stopping goblins from taking over white wizarding world and kidnapping white wizarding children, or something like that. Frankly, I don't want to go looking for more details to make myself angrier, the gist is that it was made by racist people, it's bad, and you know a person crossed some kind of moral horizon if a literal war criminal (Putin) invokes your name to prop up his propaganda! Looking back, it's kinda bewildering how she ended up where she's at if you weren't paying attention. There was a post on Tumblr - which sadly I can't find now - that summed up how it happened, how she started more liberal-aligned, through her clumsy attempts at retroactively making series more inclusive ("Dumbledore is gay but it's not plot relevant") and then how she descended into being a TERF. Consequently, we - as in fandom - are having some very relevant discussion on how to deal with that. Harry Potter is too big, and JKR is too involved with her creation to ignore the issue. She's still making money from it. She has a Twitter, she has a platform, she is having real world impact. Which is why I'm writing this, even though I haven't actively participated in HP fandom for years at this point. It's making me uncomfortable (which is good) and it makes me re-evaluate my connection to and attitude toward her works. HP was my gateway to the fandom. I was a young teen and the religious media in my country were decrying the series as morally degenerate and when I started to read it I indeed went "morally bankrupt" at speed of light in exactly the way these media predicted. It took me barely three months to go from reading these books to reading gay fanfiction! When you're raised catholic in almost entirely catholic country, such journey is a thrill and a revelation. HP fandom was so big and vast that a precocious tween with unmonitored internet access could get exposed to very different world-views and end up really expanding their horizons. I cannot help but look fondly back to that part of my fandom experience, and I cannot help but remember fondly the communities, the fanworks, the batshit crazy wank. The last time I let JKR make money off me was when I paid for tickets to the first Fantastic Beasts movie, I think. The experience was ok in so-so way, a bit underwhelming, so that along with whatever glimpses of JKR twitter reached my carefully maintained Tumblr dash, it just so happened that I didn't get drawn back into HP. Her media presence corrupted the franchise like harmful radiation, and I'm not inclined to touch it any more. I don't feel quite the same aversion when I go through my folder full of saved fanfics from back when I was into HP, and I'm not removing my HP fic bookmarks, or anything like that. I still believe that the author doesn't and shouldn't intersect with the fandom. But there is a certain MZB-eqsue effect (MZB - Marion Zimmer Bradley, the author of and the reason why you probably didn't read "Mists of Avalon"). Even if I hadn't moved onto different fandoms by now, I would be distinctly

unenthused about HP by now. HP fic, these derivative works, I'll probably still enjoy, but the source material?... Ah, I guess there's a pang of regret originating from my nostalgia, but I'm fine if it fades into obscurity and becomes largely irrelevant. We can shoot the author, we can proclaim the author dead; however, the corpse is still stinking up the place.

Dear JKR, if only you weren't such a piece of shit! Then we wouldn't have to throw you out along with your stuff in order to air it all out.

[hotchseyebrows]

thoughtfulness in little things

a derek morgan x penelope garcia fic

a/n: can you believe that is my first ever full length morcia fic? me? resident morcia nut? wow. what a world. anyway!! i hope yall like this (and if you noticed it was already on ao3 earlier today shhh this is a scheduled tumblr post im Sleeping rn) and hopefully i dont take 4 months in between posting fics again, but i make no promises!!! my brain is Evil

thank you @blkantigone for being my beta and thank you @derekmorqan for letting me barf 1k of this in our dms a while back, i love you both sm

they do kiss a fair bit in this (it is, in fact, a first kiss fic) and its a little steamy, but by no means explicit and is rated teens and up on ao3 :)

read it here on ao3!!

Penelope splutters. “Sugar, you don’t have to stay here with me, it’s really not that big of a deal.”

He shrugs. “How am I supposed to party when my best girl is stuck at work?”

-

Everything changes during a late night in Penelope's batcave. But really, nothing changes at all.

word count: 3000

Friday nights without a case are a rare treasure for SSA Hotchner’s highly sought after team of profilers. Normally, Derek and Penelope would be taking advantage of the freedom by dancing all night, but sometimes the universe has other plans. 

Penelope used this week’s case-free time to put the finishing touches on an antivirus and security software of her own creation. The personal information of her beloved BAU babies was a hot commodity well worth the additional protection, and she’s always looking for a reason to fiddle with Quantico’s servers. It ended up being a whole production, taking the entire afternoon and then some. Apparently, she still doesn’t have all of the permissions required to make certain adjustments which means that she’s fiddling and bending her way into all of the things she needs to do. If that wasn’t bad enough, the whole damn thing crashed around 4:00. She managed not to pull her hair out, but it was a close thing and it set her back at least an extra hour.

Derek stops by a little after 5, his jacket slung over his shoulder. “Baby girl, I can hear the bottles of DC’s finest vodka and Hennessy calling our names, are you almost ready to leave for the day?” He pauses in the door, taking in her furious typing and furrowed brow. “Whoa, Mama, what’s the matter? You’ve got Hotch’s eyebrows.”

She throws her arms up. “The entirety of the FBI and also the world is getting on my nerves!” He walks over to her, leaning on the side of her chair and turning her away from her monitor. His hands gently grab both of hers and he rubs a soothing circle with one of his thumbs. 

“Explain, baby girl.” 

She does, eventually just ranting and raving about how annoying it is to still be put in metaphorical handcuffs by the FBI as if she can’t just do what she wants anyway. “I’m not even breaking any rules, technically, they’re just making things annoying and long winded.” She sighs, moving her hands to interlock their fingers. “But now that it’s started, it would be doubly annoying to stop it and come back later. So I’m stuck here until it’s done, which might take a while.”

He nods, thinking. Then he straightens up, grabs the extra rolling chair, and sits down. 

Penelope splutters. “Sugar, you don’t have to stay here with me, it’s really not that big of a deal.”

He shrugs. “How am I supposed to party when my best girl is stuck at work?” She blushes, turning away to hide it on instinct. 

“You cheeseball.” She spins around to lightly push on his arm. He just smiles. 

They sit together for 20 minutes in relative silence as she continues her work. It’s a comfortable silence; his occasional humming soothes her rising annoyance at how needlessly long this is taking. She can hear him playing with one of the fidget toys she keeps on her desk behind him. When she gets to another point of sitting and waiting, she turns towards him and asks him about his day. He tells her about how Prentiss helped him get Reid back for a prank by distracting him in the break room while he switched out the keyboard of Reid’s computer with an identical one with a grass garden planted inside. “It’s a long con for sure, but I’m hoping it sprouts this weekend.”

She laughs. “How long did it take you to set this up, dumpling?” She already knows the answer, but it’s nice to see his slightly sheepish but proud look about his dedication to his prank war. Her computer beeps at her, and she spins back around to begin working again.

He rolls closer, avoiding her question and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “You getting hungry yet?”

She relaxes, leaning against him. As if on cue, her stomach grumbles. “Yes, I’d say so.”

He leans over and moves a strand of hair out of her face. “Okay baby girl, I’ll go grab us food and be right back.” She nods, lifting her cheek on instinct to meet the kiss she knows is coming. He stands and sure enough, leans down to kiss her cheek. “I’ll be quick. Be good.”

“How can I do anything else if you’re not here?” She bats her eyes up at him. 

He grins. “Oh, I’m sure you’d think of something.” He brushes his knuckles against her cheek. It makes her shiver.

She watches him leave, catching the kiss he blows at her from the door. Turning back to focus on her work, it feels like she blinks and he’s back. A glance at the clock tells her it’s been over a half hour. He puts the bag of food onto the table before coming to pull her away from the computer. 

“One minute, I promise, I’m so close to just letting this thing run for a little.” He twirls her hair around his fingers before dropping his hands onto her shoulders, rubbing away the tension. A minute and a half later, she leans back in her chair with a sigh. She tilts her head back and sticks her tongue out at him. He smiles at her. 

"Come eat, baby girl. Don't think you're getting out of eating my hard won dinner." He moves to the table and pulls out her chair. She follows and sits.

"Hard won — mon cher, you didn't tackle a wild animal and lug it home to our log cabin in the woods, you drove your car 20 minutes."

He kisses her temple, handing her a pair of chopsticks. "Yeah, but I would lug home whatever you needed anytime, so the sentiment is the same."

She smiles and knocks their feet together under the table lightly. He moves his chair, so they are sitting right next to each other on the same side of the table. The heat from his arm is palpable.

Derek grabs a box from the bag and splits the vegan pad thai within onto two paper plates. He opens the box of spring rolls and places it in between them while she places napkins in front of them both. He pops the cap off of her bottle of lemonade without her asking, and sets that in front of her too. “Thank you, handsome.” He smiles in response. They start eating and the comfortable silence returns. 

She talks him through what she still needs to do to fix everything in between bites, even though she knows he doesn't really understand her technobabble. But Penelope can feel his eyes on her, and without looking, she somehow knows that something has shifted in the air around them.

"What?" she asks, turning her attention away from gesturing at her computer with the chopsticks. "Do I have something on my face?"

He chuckles. "Actually, yes, c'mere." He brushes away a stray spot of sauce on the corner of her lips with a gentle swipe of his thumb. The rest of his hand stills on her cheek. She shivers. She can see him notice it, his attention focusing in on her. Penelope's blood is thundering in her ears as he glances in between her lips and her eyes.

She leans purposefully into his hand. His thumb brushes over her lips again and her mouth falls open a little. 

"Penelope, I-" he cuts himself off with a hard swallow. "Penelope." His eyes flicker down to her lips and back up to her eyes quickly again.

She can only blink at him for a moment. "Yes, Derek?"

"I don't kn- um. Can I-" She's never seen him flustered and unsure like this. But they've never been out of sync before and they aren't about to start now, so she nods, bringing up a hand to rest on his. A smile grows on his face before he starts to lean in. His hand slides along her cheek to more firmly grip her face- it makes her gasp.

He pauses, thinking something is wrong. "Penelope, are y-" Her heart swells at how careful he is to take care of her always, and she meets him in the middle, pressing their lips together in a soft, purposeful kiss.

For a moment, all is still. The world boils down to just the place where their lips are touching. Their lips barely brush against one another, but already Penelope feels light headed. Derek separates their lips for a moment before kissing her again, a firmer touch this time. She sucks in a breath through her nose. His lips are incredibly kind- that’s the only word for it. He doesn’t seem to know the word “take” right now because all she can feel from him is “give.” As he presses into the kiss and gently cups the side of her face, her brain wildly spins through thoughts about how of course he’s like this even when kissing her and how good he smells and how she can’t believe they haven’t done this sooner.

He draws her closer against him, pressing into the kiss more insistently before bringing his other hand up to her face and holding her. His fingers move to cup the sides of her neck and she tilts her head to the left a touch, letting her mouth fall open in a sigh. He makes a soft noise before tentatively sliding their tongues together. A full body shiver runs down her spine and through her limbs. Another small noise falls from the back of his throat. Her stomach swoops like they've just dropped down the side of a huge arch in a roller coaster. She places both hands on his chest, pressing forward. He moves with her, chair squeaking underneath him as he presses closer, one arm snaking around her back. Penelope’s heart pounds even louder. His tongue is gentle even in its insistence as their kiss turns slightly desperate. 

It feels like someone has lit a fire underneath Penelope’s chair, warmth washing over her whole body and radiating out from everywhere they touch. One of his hands tangles into her hair as he gently tilts her head back. If she wasn’t sitting her knees would have buckled so long ago, but now she would absolutely be on the floor. It’s no surprise that Derek Morgan is an incredible kisser, but knowing something and knowing something is so different. 

He pulls back, letting their foreheads rest together. Her eyes stay closed, tingles radiating from everywhere his fingers are tenderly holding her face. She tightens her grip on his shirt. He kisses the tip of her nose. "You still with me, baby girl?"

She nods, breathless. She slowly opens her eyes and smiles at him. "Hi." It's the first thing she thinks to say. 

He laughs. "Hey you."

She has so many questions- how long have you wanted to do that, can we do that again right now, can we do so much more right now, right here- but before she can ask any of them, her computer beeps loudly. "Oh!" She jumps at the sudden noise. He drops his hands and leans back, looking far too much like the cat who got the cream. "I should- right, I should deal with that," she says, standing on shaky legs. Heels were never so precarious. Of course, there is no hiding from a profiler.

He grins up at her. "Need some assistance?" His eyes are shining like he's hiding a joke. She scrunches her nose at him, biting back a smile.

"Oh, hush you. I’m perfectly capable of walking 3 feet, thank you very much." Her tenacity is a little undercut from the way her hands are trembling a little as she smooths her skirt, but still. The point remains.

He raises his hands in surrender. "Alright baby girl, go on then."

She walks over to her computer and stays standing to fiddle with the wires behind it before bending over at the keyboard and reading the report on the screen. "It shouldn't be much longer now, it just needs to run the last new anti-virus- what?" He's leaning back in his seat and staring at her, a small smile dancing on his lips.

"What, Mama?" But he knows what, clearly evident from the way he is trying to school his expression into something innocent.

She blushes. "Derek Morgan, I don't know what I'm going to do if you keep looking at me like that."

"Oh, I don't know. I might have some ideas."

She sucks in a sharp inhale through her nose. Playing nonchalant, she turns back to her computer. "Well, I might have to hear your ideas out."

"Yeah?" 

She glances at him out of the corner of her eye and he's grinning.

"Yeah." she says, not trusting what will come out of her mouth if she elaborates (probably something along the lines of “I’d listen to all your ideas, do your ideas include any semblance of forever, if you keep grinning like that I'm gonna lock the door and do something reckless”).

They sit in relative silence, just the sounds of her typing filling the room. When she finishes, she spins her chair around. "Hi," she says again.

"Hi baby," he responds.

Her fingers twist and curl the hem of her skirt. "So, uh, well, that's gonna take at least another 30 minutes to finish running."

He raises one eyebrow. "30 minutes, huh?" 

She nods. "Might be a good time for some of those ideas." 

He stands and walks across the room to her. She takes his offered hand and stands as well. They stay there, inches apart and holding hands as the charged atmosphere around them seems to crackle. In the same breath, they lean in to kiss again. Both of her arms wrap around his neck as he tucks his around her waist. He pulls her against him, fully pressed together as the soft kiss deepens into something heated and desperate.

He bites her bottom lip gently before the kiss turns open mouthed and slick. She arches against him as they slide into a slow rhythm. She feels fluttery, like his arms are the only anchor point in the whole world and if he let her go, she’d simply float away. He tastes like lemonade, sweet and alive. She hums as he tracks his hands in a slow circle at the base of her spine. Her knees really do buckle a little as he attempts to tug her closer, but he holds her steady. She rests a hand on his cheek and grounds herself by using the other to grip the back of his neck. She’s utterly swallowed up by him, his arms and his mouth and just him surrounding her in their own little cocoon. He separates their mouths to kiss across her jaw and down her neck, hands flattening on her back. He places a line of long kisses down to the crook of her neck. She lets out a sigh, letting her head fall to the side to give him more room. He sinks his teeth into the same spot lightly, and she shudders. 

"Derek," she whispers. She can feel his smile against his skin as he kisses the same place again.

They slow to a stop, tucked against each other. He rests his face against her neck and mumbles something against her skin. "Hmm honey?" she says, hand rubbing a circle on the nape of his neck.

"I got us that Talenti ice cream you like," he says, only moving enough to be heard. “Chocolate peanut butter cup, and the color changing spoons are still in the break room.”

"Oh Der, that's so sweet, you didn't have to do all of that." Her heart skips a beat. 

He shrugs, kissing the side of her neck. "I wanted to."

She is half tempted to haul him in for another kiss, but as if on cue, her stomach grumbles. He picks his head up and smiles at her. "Come eat now," he says before giving her another quick peck. 

She lets him pull her to the table, but before they sit, she pulls him in again. He chuckles into the kiss.  "Eat, you menace." He mumbles against her lips. Pulling back, he plants a kiss on the apple of her cheek as he guides her into her seat.

She bites a retort about how she was trying to but he sees it on her face anyway. 

"Later, baby girl. Dinner first."

“Then dessert?” She tilts her head and gives him a flirty smile. 

He runs his thumb along her bottom lip. “All the dessert you want, Penelope.”

Much the same as before, they eat in comfortable silence. Except this time he rests a hand on her thigh, and traces a slow lazy circle with his thumb. The conversation picks back up and turns to unrelated things. Derek muses about possible retaliations from Spencer once he notices his new desk plants as he casually offers her a bite from his plate. She takes it, humming.

Something Penelope did not realize had lost its footing resettles in her chest. Nothing is different, not in any way that would scare her or be a loss. They are just the same as they've always been, but also more. (Though she'd be hard pressed to think of a time when this wasn't the way they were. Maybe things are just being unveiled, not changed.) 

When they finish eating, he goes to get the ice cream and two of the fun spoons from the break room. They split the pint and laugh far too loudly for how late it is. The computer beeps for a final time, software finally fully uploaded and settled. She still has to run tests and double check that everything is working, but that can wait. Derek offers her a bite of ice cream, and if he kisses her again to remove the ice cream from her bottom lip, she can't say she minds.

[antiloreolympus]

14 Anti LO Asks

1. To the one anon: good question - how is it that the mortals dont know who Persephone is / assume she is a minor goddess and therefore its okay to mess with her but the gods (or Olympians / underworld denizens) know exactly everything about her (despite her being there only every so often and only being 20ish) - enough to say shes "wearing her signature white color" during a murder trial.

Also the reason why Persephone is wearing white is because

A). RS wanted persephone to always be "dressed as a bride" (and have Hades dressed as a groom respectively) to show that their matching / is supposed to be a visual cue that their eventually gonna be together.

B). I believe this is RS way of saying that Persephone (despite murdering some mortals) is innocent because in purity culture White = innocence, virginity, youth etc. (Even though RS explicity ssid she wanted to go against purity culture morals shes very much leaning into them). 

2. why are Psyche’s eyes yellow even in her human form? Is she sick??

3. honestly? LO is just gossisp girl at this point, espect even GG (at least in the first season) bothered to saturze the rich and was calling out how wealth and power makes them corrupt assholes. meanwhile LO is just GG season 2 and on of being like no no, the poor people are the evil people and the rich people are the oppressed ones! all while also fawning over their  wealth and status and being way into grown men wanting to bang barely legal teens and claiming to be "feminist" somehow.

4. Tumblr is well-known for broken tag system. Check the post' tags before complaining that it's op's fault. How about you guys not tag greek mythology when posting about LO? LO is not one-shot or short fancomic. It's also definitely not considered actual greek mythology. LO is years long webcomic with huge fans. LO has its own tag. Tell your fellow fans to stop using the greek mythology tag.

5. I would argue nyx is the only woman with a unique in design in LO but thats only because she looks like a deformed chicken woman. why was my night mom disrespected this much 😭

6. So now that LO is back from break and I can finally read chapter 170 - Why oh Why do ALL the female characters Have to be defined by their male love interests??? (Or really just love interests in general).

I understand LO qualifies as the "romance" genre and there are certain stipulations or I guess themes or what have you that make it romance but for f*cks sake.

Psyche being worried about Eros loving the "fake" her I kinda get, but really? Thats your most pressing concern?? Hera is defined by her garbage marriage to Zeus - King of the gods (of which is why she is Queen of the gods). Hestia + Athena are now defined solely by their relationship to each other (not the TGOEM or their respective traits of being a goddess of the hearth + goddess of war, strategy etc etc).

Aphrodite is defined by giving Persephone "relationship" advice (e.g: telling her to curb stomp Minthe because "nymphs dont take things from gods" - doubly implying that people are things to own) And by her jealousy of Persephone in the first place because Hades made a comment about how he thought Persephone was prettier than her. And also because of her "house of debauchery" (Artemis'  words) - and relationship with Ares.

Persephone is defined both by Apollo raping her and by her fated future status as Queen of the underworld (so her relationship with Hades). Hell, even the minor characters such as nymphs are defined by this relationship status / standard. Minthe is defined by her mean spirited personality yes, but Also because of her abusive relationship with Hades prior to the introduction of Persephone. Psyche is defined by her relationship woes with Eros. Daphne is defined by her relationship with Thanatos (and because shes a flower nymph) but also mostly because she looks like Persephone.

Rhea is defined by her marriage / relationship to Kronos (lets ignore the whole "fertility goddess power" plot for a second). Even Aetna is defined by Haphestus creating her! Is there not a single character (especially female) is isnt defined by their romantic love interest???Sorry. Maybe I'm overthinking this, but thats definitely how ot comes off as of late, in regard to the latest chapters.

Okay, same anon as earlier - I take it back somewhat - we have Artemis and Hecate that are not defined by their romantic relationships - but rather their lack of one.

However the way they are shown - it still comes off as a standard - "Artemis is stingy / a stick in the mud" because shes not romantically involved and is "barbaric" (according to Hera). And Hecate is still somewhat defined by her being Hades' employee (and cheerleader for him and Persephone to be together).

So technically yes, we have at least 2 characters that are not defined by their romantic interests / relationships, but they are still held to the standard of their "un-ladylike / undesirable" because their not romantically involved.

(I guess I should count Demeter, but only because shes more defined by just being "Persephone's overbearing mom" )

7. i think whats also kinda weird about this trial is like?? persephone is obvs framed as not liking the attention (bc duh) but she didnt like the previous press either, she wanted to be private, but wouldnt being with hades force her to be in the spotlight that makes her uncomfortable? also the citizens of the underworld already dislike hades, why would they want a uncontrollable felon as their queen, even if she found innocent? idk the whole thing just makes the endgame less plausible, tbh.

8. love that rachel was able to find a random deity name to name her random nymph the greek word for "beans" meanwhile apparently cant google actual greek names for even one off characters? like andrew, ellen, george, alexis, damian, luke, phoebe, sophia, and so any other english names are also greek, but she cant even bother with that? what exactly is her "research" if she cant even bother to spend 30 seconds googling greek names? at this point LO seems determined to be as un-Greek as possible.

9. wait so everyone in LO went from having no idea who persephone was, to her only showing up on ONE magazine cover, to now being the most well known person with a signature color? all in the span of two weeks with no genuine public outings? how does that make sense? also white isnt even her signature color if 90%+ the female cast and even a lot of the men ((including ZEUS) all wear it too.

10. the fact the courthouse WASNT the areopagus, aka the place in greece where they say the first ever trial ever happened and where the court system was invented, is just another point of rachel talking out her ass about being "respectful" or "researched" on greece and their mythology. its literally one of the most famous mythology spots ever with some fantastic stories to it and she's just like "nah! boring rectangle will do!" like why even both with mythology then if its this devoid of it?

11. Anons are saying Hades in the FS chapter is leaning down and talking to Persy like a child. Say it aint true.

(I wanna see. I thought RS was finally giving Persy adult proportions). 😨

12. So wait, hold up. I kinda get where RS is coming from with the law school in the underworld (because Hades is supposed to be a kinda Judge, jury, executioner situation in the afterlife when it comes to mortals and their "punishments" and whatnot). However, is RS stating that the ONLY law school / courthouse exists in the underworld? If so, why? Why wouldn't Athena be there then. She's a goddess of strategy and justice (among other things).

Also is RS really implying that Hades owns not only the banks and underworld but the law too? She really wants Hades to be a Gary Sue along side her Mary Sue - Hades controls everything that matters and since its his realm and blah blah blah rules, Zeus, king of the gods cant do anything about it.

(Which is dumb. Because you would think that because Persephone committed the crime in the mortal realm / on, or near Olympus that therefore she would be brought back there to dole out justice under Zeus jurisdiction because she committed the crime in His Realm). 

13. FP Spoiler ahead:

Why on earth couldn't the reporters have Greek names? There is so much wrong and bad with this story, yet this irks me so much. It is Brenda all over again.

14. i dont really get the point of the trial plotline, tbh. even persephone says she should be punished and held accountable, but hades is framed in the right for trying to go against that and weasel her out of it. so?? plus zeus has legit reason to punish them? persephone is a danger to others, demeter and hermes both committed treason to cover it up, and hades was harboring a fugitive of the law and is now trying to force the system to let her go. how is zeus in the wrong for this?