#I apologize to all the fans bc this is probably old news

[laughableillusions]

Thinking abt how literally every major character has like a musical “theme” in DDLJ that is revisited during the movie….

Simran’s dad has Ghar Aaja Pardesi

Simran’s mom has Mere Khwabon Mein

Simran and Raj have ofc Tujhe Dekha To (it is teased SO much before the actual song it’s such a good like musical storytelling device that when you get to the actual song it’s like OHHH MY GOD)

But all the songs are more than just songs they each are purposeful to the story and affect more than just the character the song is about and I’m ripping out my hair at how fucking…how fucking GOOD that is

[humblequestvinyl]

mountain with a view

MOUNTAIN WITH A VIEW, EDDIE DIAZ X FEM!READER

APART OF THE ‘ROLLING UP THE WELCOME MAT’ SERIES

SUMMARY: after one too many late nights, y/n l/n is sitting at their kitchen table, debating if her and her husband's marriage is even worth fighting for.

inspired by mountain with a view, by kelsea ballerini

previous chapter, | next chapter,

lowercase is intentional! wc: 1.9k

warning: angst!!!!! swearing, marriage problems, trust issues (?) if there’s anything i missed let me know!

a/n: AHHH NEW SERIES W EDDIE <33! i'm so excited for this!! also my deepest apologies in advance bc i am so mean to eddie in this LMFAOO hope u guys enjoy <333

“COUNTRY STAR Y/N L/N HAS FILED FOR DIVORCE FROM HER HUSBAND, EDDIE DIAZ AFTER FIVE YEARS OF MARRIAGE.”

the voice of a news reporter flooded through the tv as photos of the former couple were placed on the screen. 

“L/N on instagram asked her fans on instagram to be mindful, and that both parties are fragile, and to respect their privacy.”the reporter went on, before a photo flashed of the h/c girl, “L/N is currently gearing up for her fifth album release; SUBJECT TO CHANGE this september.”

the video came to a stop, and she saw her best friend standing in front of her, with a horrified look on his face, “you and eddie are getting a divorce?” her heart hurt. this wasn’t how she wanted him to find out.

“it was bound to happen buck.”y/n’s voice was strained due to all of the crying she had done for the past two months, with a heavy feeling in her chest, “you and i both saw this coming.”

“i didn’t.” evan buckley’s voice dropped, and y/n slipped the shades to the top of her head, revealing her bloodshot eyes, “never once did i see this coming.”

“this wasn’t how we wanted you to find out.”her voice cracked, playing with the strings of her hoodie, “eddie said he was going to call you about it.” buck’s eyes watched as the girl avoided his eyes, refusing to make contact with them, knowing if she did she would probably burst into tears.

“why did you file for divorce?”

(TWO MONTHS BEFORE.)

STARING OUT THE BIG OPEN WINDOWS OF THEIR PENTHOUSE,

y/n could see the sun rising as she finished making breakfast for her and her stepson, making sure to leave some for her husband in case he came home in time.

eddie diaz and y/n l/n had first met when she was 21, and he was 23, one kick-starting on their music career, while one had just become a single parent to a son from a former marriage. somehow, they still made it work. getting married at 23 and 25,  going from texas, to los angeles, becoming a mother figure to his son chris, and making sure she could still go on tour.

they thought they had it all figured out, with everything working and a fixed schedule.

until they didn't.

so here she sat, waiting for her husband to come home while her stepson got ready for school, knowing she’d have to force a smile, make everything seem like it was okay, and be able to play the part of the perfect wife, perfect wife. it wasn’t until she smelt smoke that y/n realized the toast was burnt to absolute crisp, and was ruined, meaning she’d have to make more.  

“shit.”she muttered, rushing to make more, as she saw chris come down the hallway, and she forced a smile, brushing her h/c hair out of her face, making sure to tie it back.

“did you burn the toast again?”chris asked with a smile, and y/n forced a laugh, nodding before she brought over a plate with pancakes and eggs on them. “unfortunately, i did. i’m making more right now.”

a knock on the front door came, before it opened, revealing carla, and she had a wide smile spread across her face as she came in, and y/n waved as the toast popped up, less burnt than before. quickly placing it on a plate, and putting it on the table, making it so chris would be able to get to school on time.

“you go get ready for the day, i’ll make sure chris eats.”carla told the 28 year old, giving her a soft smile, and y/n nodded, before rushing off towards her room, and grabbing the clothing she needed for that day.

walking into the bathroom after she had changed, her eyes glanced down, seeing a wedding band that wasn’t hers sitting on the counter. 

it was her husband’s.

she felt anger run through her, with a million thoughts racing through her mind. why would he take it off? or why did he leave it at home? did he forget it? did he take it off intentionally before he left for work? 

why did he take it off?

“bye n/n!’chris yelled, breaking the girl out of her thoughts, and she gripped the counter, trying to keep her anger under check. “have a good day at school chris!”she yelled back, and the front door slammed, as she took a deep breath in.

it was a few moments before she walked back out towards the kitchen, noticing everything was put away, except for the burnt toast. opening up her refrigerator, y/n grabbed the butter out, and brought it over towards the kitchen table, before spreading the butter against the toast, and taking a bite out of it.

her eyes scanned back over the mountains as the clock struck 7:30 am, realizing her husband was over three hours late coming home, and had missed seeing his son in the morning for the second time that week.

it killed her. it absolutely killed her that he wasn’t coming home, and she was the one who was carrying all of that weight on her shoulders, trying to keep this marriage going when it was all one sided. she felt like a glass plate, and was breaking into a million pieces.

hearing boots come towards her, her head snapped towards it, seeing her husband eddie diaz walking towards her, before placing a kiss on the top of her head, with no words spoken between the two.  the tension in the air made her uncomfortable. it was so thick that you could almost cut it through it with a knife.

it was a while before any words were spoken between the two, and when they were, they were laced with anger and confusion.

“you left your ring at home.”y/n spoke up, taking another bite of the burnt toast, afraid to see the look her husband was giving her, “and you were late coming home again.”

“i forgot it when i left.”eddie admitted, glancing over at his wife for a moment, before looking back at his plate of food, “and i was finishing up something with buck.”

wrong. he wasn’t with buck, because buck had texted y/n back at five, saying he hadn’t seen eddie since he left his shift at 4am. 

“what? you don’t believe me?”eddie questioned, as y/n got up to throw the toast away, keeping silent for a moment, debating on how to handle the situation, before she shook her head no.

“i don’t believe you.”y/n admitted, placing the plate in the sink, avoiding eye contact with him, and she could feel the anger radiating off of him, “because buck texted me at five that he hadn’t seen you since you left your shift at four.”

she saw eddie freeze, knowing he had gotten caught into a lie, and y/n had seen right through it. he wouldn’t be able to hide whatever he was away for.

“okay fine, i wasn’t with buck.”eddie admitted, causing y/n to lean up against the kitchen counter, facing her husband to read his body language.

“so, where were you?”

“i don’t understand why you need to know.”eddie shrugged, getting defensive, causing y/n to read all the red flag, “it doesn’t matter to you at all.”

“it does matter to me eddie.”y/n spoke softly, fearing of an argument breaking out, but it was enviable with the two. “i want to make sure you’re not sitting in the goddamn morgue.”

“well guess what, i’m not.”eddie spewed, catching y/n off guard, “i’m standing right in front of you, trying to eat breakfast while you’re bothering me.”

“because i want for you to realize that i’m worried about you.”she told him, and she could tell he was dismissive, “i wait up for you every night, only for you to not come home until chris is about to leave for school.”

“and i never asked you to do that.”he stabbed his eggs with his fork, and y/n tensed up, “that’s your own doing for staying up and waiting.” y/n gave him a look as she took his words like gut punches, making her absolutely sick, “maybe you should just stop staying up and waiting.”

“maybe you should come home on time.”y/n shot back, folding her arms as she watched him closely, “to the family you have. to your son.”

“i do!”eddie defended, and y/n shook her head, “no you don’t! for the past four months you’ve been late coming home after every single shift eddie!” 

“you’re forgetting your ring, you’re not coming home on time and you’re distant.”y/n pointed out as eddie brushed past her to put his plate in the sink, and walked towards their shared bathroom, slipping his wedding band on, “there! are you happy now?”

“no i’m not!”y/n exclaimed as eddie started to change, and she followed him, “we’ve been in and out of therapy for the past three years and absolutely nothing has changed eddie. i’m so tired of it.”

“i mentally cannot handle another year of us being just fine.”y/n whispered, causing eddie to snap his head towards her, with a shocked look spread across his face, “what are you trying to say?”

“i want a divorce.”y/n spoke aloud, making all of her feelings real, and she saw eddie’s face fall.

“you want a divorce? all because i’m taking extra shifts to try and provide for our family? to pay for the mortgage for the house you insisted we had to have.”he shot back, and y/n felt her anger bubble over, causing her to snap, “you don’t even pay for the house! i do! it’s under my name and everything! not yours!”

“i’m the one who pays for the cleaners, the groceries, the electric!”she yelled, as the two stood in their bedroom, one that hadn’t felt like theirs in months. “i feel like i’m the only one who’s doing all the work all the time because you’re never home!”

“you loved me way more at 23 than you do now eddie, and that's a fact.”she told him as she brushed past him to pack a bag, “i cannot keep doing this anymore.”

“you’re just like your parents. giving up way too easy on our marriage.” eddie swore, and y/n felt something snap inside of her. “first off, don’t you dare talk about my parents! secondly, i have tried for months to get through to you.”

“you’re the one who never came to nashville when i called you begging to hop on that flight, one i paid for by the way!”y/n exclaimed, zipping up the bag she had packed, “i knew you had the week off and didn’t have chris at all and you still refused to come.”

“i’m done trying eddie.”she finished, before storming past him and walking towards the front door of their penthouse.

“so you’re done?”he questioned as she grabbed her car keys, and opened up the front door, staring right back at him with tears in her e/c eyes.

“this is when it’s over for me.”

[inchidentally]

I'm sorry to bombard you like this, but you're like a therapist. So I want this winter break to end as soon as possible. Because seeing how many fans of different drivers enjoy fresh content, Oscar fans suffer a little. I mean, I should be used to it because I've been a Sebastian fan for the last 16 years and it's not news to me that someone disappears during the winter break. But it's different with Oscar and I feel a little sad about it. Well. I'm almost 27 years old and I miss a guy who doesn't know me. Can you write me something comforting? Thank you in advance! <3

don't apologize anon!! but let me just say I'm not remotely qualified as a therapist and could probably do with a second one for myself but I will absolutely try to offer comfort <3<3

ohhhh dude as someone who is only just now learning abt Seb in a fandom way I know you've already had it tough bc not only is that man charismatic and hilarious and beautiful he's also SO private. Oscar at least is so lowkey even in media engagement that it's not a huge surprise when he doesn't show up otherwise. but there's a reason I tag Seb "sun king". dude shines brighter than the screens behind a podium when he shows up. I don't know if I believe the rumors of him returning to F1 at all but I do think he's going to get back into a more public facing position at some point (and likely get back into racing in some capacity).

I think w Oscar what's been getting me is how excavation is the best way to get to know him and acquire content rather than relying on regular updates. I wish we had those too or at least the content from fans recognizing him - and maybe that will happen more w time. but I'm much more a feelings person than a fan person and Oscar's just really worked his pale little hands into my heart ??

I always felt like the intensity in his eyes when he looks at certain friends just had to have something behind it than that being his resting face. bc his resting face is basically 'please let me sleep sitting up' asgfaslglfsa. but the way he looks at Logan and Lando is so similar and the more I learn about loscar lore the more I realize I'm not just seeing things with him and Lando. it's not at all the same relationship but it's coming from the same place for Oscar in terms of his qualities as a person.

bc pre-F1 Oscar was wayyyy more open and expressive about his competitiveness and his celebrations etc - just overall way more open in general. so the amount that he kept checking in on Logan and making sure he was included over all the years they've been boys and young men from karting to F1… idk man that's extremely special and unusual coming from a privileged kid in a male dominated environment where the one goal is for the individual to win. sure, plenty of guys form strong friendships in those years and a lot of them had to leave home young to pursue racing beyond the karting level.

but for Oscar to not only have lived alone in the UK from age 14 and be in that environment and to be as motivated and hungry as he was it just says so much that he's still close with all the guys from his boarding school (where he had an attendance of under 40% !!) and that he's kept Logan close this whole time. esp after reading the Player's Tribune article about him we know that Logan's got a soft heart and that he's a "worrier" and just how hard it hit when his own family left him to return to the US. he often felt like an outsider and like, Oscar being the same age and being even further from his own family but some part of him still said to latch onto this American kid in particular. they were literally directly competing but Logan's even confirmed how it never affected their friendship. including Oscar interrupting a major victory for himself bc it was marked by Logan crashing out early and rushing to console Logan in person !! that's so unbelievably tender ?? winning these series' is the one thing in the world these boys want when they compete - but Oscar's thinking about his friend right when he wins ;__; kinda makes you think about how Oscar didn't spend one second celebrating as much as he rightly could have over that sprint win and consciously avoided bringing it up so often that Lando does it for him ;__;

and when the rest of the F1 grid is name dropping the right guys for fans to go crazy when it comes to quiz questions etc, Oscar goes right to Logan and Zhou bc he's actually known them the longest. and whenever there's the drivers parade or anything that brings the teams together, he's seeking those two out. when you consider the huge divide that formed when Oscar got the McLaren updates and especially after the sprint win he technically was in the company of all those guys at the front of the grid socially. he started getting those coveted fist bumps! but if he could spot Logan or Zhou he'd move or change his seat just to be with them.

and lol we know now that Oscar's been a major Lando fanboy since he moved to the UK so he'll also have seen how small and young Lando was for what he was achieving. he'll also have seen when Lando started opening up about his mental health struggles. and considering how much we've seen that Oscar leans liberal and socially sympathetic is in his likes and reposted content etc (esp him showing such a major social conscience during covid about people needing to protect the vulnerable) we know it isn't a leap to assume he understands/appreciates Lando standing for social progress within F1.

add to that Oscar having liked content that was to do with team atmospheres and cultures and Oscar himself being approached by McLaren when Lando started running circles around Daniel and all that drama was going on, of which Oscar was made painfully aware. oh and add that Oscar also liked carlando stuff back when Carlos was with McLaren… Oscar had so much knowledge about what to expect as Lando's teammate… and yet!

Oscar very specifically has never tried to create a 'bromance' with Lando when it would've been so easy! the Lando effect was right there! and we know from the Prema content that Oscar could've been how he was with Robert and Arthur and a landoscar bromance at least close to carlando and dando could've been born! it would've made Oscar's life so much easier in terms of being accepted by McLaren fans to yuk it up and be the cheesy jokes/exasperated guy from twitter (that everyone already knew him to be) to Lando's well-known hyperactive youtuber personality!

and we know he wasn't suddenly quiet and reserved out of nerves because Prema's social media popularity had fully prepared him for going viral and he'd done a ton of F1 track media stuff during his reserve driver year!

and the staring at Lando thing officially stopped being a fluke or something he did out of nerves as well because welp, it just get happening! Oscar shadows Lando and Oscar stands back slightly to let Lando have more of the spotlight and Oscar has endless patience with Lando and says "no I'll keep you happy!" when Lando tells him what to do!

Oscar is smart! Oscar is very aware of what the people he cares about are feeling! Oscar takes note of their personalities and accepts them for who they are! Oscar pays attention to what is going on around him in an intelligent and sympathetic way! Oscar doesn't default to posting the people he's closest to! Oscar views certain things as - if not 'sacred' - at least deeply important and not something to joke or be flippant about! his friendships supercede even his passion for winning!

Logan feels deeply and doesn't mind people knowing it! Lando feels deeply and doesn't mind people knowing it!

Oscar watches Logan and Lando closely with those focused brown eyes and Oscar is drawn to the people in his life who feel most vulnerable and Oscar interrupts his own victories to consider Logan and Lando !!!!!!!!

anon I assumed you wouldn't mind but all of this is to say that while we may never get Oscar appearing as frequently on social media as the other drivers - especially in winter - Oscar is someone we should use our down time looking more deeply into as a person because still waters running deep etc. what content we do have about him is so worth savoring I think.

because I for one definitely have taken too much about him for granted thinking he was Just a Guy and I was very very wrong about that.

I hope that helped a little??

[isa-ghost]

hey it's the anon who asked what dr*m did,

I decided to do my own research (mainly cause I was curious) but... I can't find much? let me rephrase it - I did find the allegations from 6ish months ago, that he's going to court with one(?) of them, but that's... all? I didn't find the court's verdict, confirmations, or him admitting either... and any post or video I find has both the OP and the comments mostly on his side and believing that it's either not true or true but not grooming, even people who say they're not his fans or don't even like him.

so Im not sure if the confirmation didn't reach youtube or if I'm searching wrong or something?

but honestly while researching I realized that I cant stand him lmao, gotta agree with some comments I read - he made a mistake by showing more of his personality online, looks like any time he can handle a situation wrong/respond wrong he does it

so dunno, guess I didnt find the confirmation but at least now I don't find his old minecraft videos interesting anymore so theres that

Yeah he can't act properly to save his fucking life

Also I think most of the threads on Twitter and stuff that have all the proof he's guilty/etc is probably long buried, unfortunately. You could probably try to ask around saying you're trying to get the whole picture but tbh it's not a huge deal if you can't. You can try searching my blog but Tumblr sucks with that shit. The fact that this and his other controversies have been buried and lost to the void of the internet is typical white boy with a monstrously big platform shit so I'm not surprised. I never heard any details about court (prob for legal reasons) or a conviction either. All I know is there was screenshot proof from the victim that they talked, and Dr*m confirmed the screenshots were real but didn't say anything about other details. But those details literally can't be false if the screenshots & the shit said in them are true.

Anyway, as far as his other bullshit goes:

People found old kkk meme edits on his yt account through the wayback machine. More than once if I'm not mistaken

He has a history of defending himself using the r slur

He cheated "on accident" in a speedrun (the least important thing ever but everyone always brings it up)

He claimed he was going to donate all proceeds during pride month to lgbt+ charities & he'd do charity streams all month but never did

He defended himself about replying to haters, which would send thousands of his toxic stans after the person getting them doxxed/death threats/etc and he refused to address that it was irresponsible of him bc he was too entitled to immaturely clap back at the antis. Even other ccs, like B/itzel called him out about shit related to how he uses his platform irresponsibly & he unfollowed & shaded them like a bitch baby

The whole "accidental" copycat shit with QSMP/USMP and basically softcore stalking Q/uackity online.

His "apologies" for all of the above fucking sucked in multiple ways. And that's just 2021-Now shit I can remember off the top of my head, I lost my Twitter in May last year so now I get my info from people's posts about it on here or links to tweets.

Everyone largely suspects he spontaneously reignited d/smp lore & started the finale to cover up the groomer thing bc he has a history of doing smth "new and cool" every time he causes drama to divert attention and avoid accountability.

He's also suspected of suddenly rewriting the d/smp finale to paint his Irredeemable Abuser Villain Up Until The Last Stream as a sympathetic poor baby out of nowhere and wrote that his victim, c!Tommy apologized to him, which sends a HORRIBLE message about abusive relationships. T/ommy and T/ubbo have both subtly mentioned not liking the finale and that Dr*m had AWFUL communication during the last like 6+ months of the smp.

He also suddenly showed up in T/ubbo's chat lurking while T/ubbo happened to be mentioning he'd do his own research on the grooming situation instead of blindly siding with Dr*m and it was some shit out of a horror movie is2g, he suddenly dmed T/ubbo out of nowhere during it on discord saying they'd talk about it after T/ubbo wasn't streaming. Basically sounds like he was gonna bias T/ubbo about his innocence. Like he hadn't been in chat all stream long but SUDDENLY he was there the second the topic came up. But the d/smp ccs also can't say anything about the situation since it's a legal matter, so a handful of ccs have just stated/implied they don't support him other ways

He only quit MCC bc he threw a tantrum about how he couldn't practice for it but now that MCC island exists, people were getting better than him. He's habitually a sore loser about that kinda shit

He's got that whole weird "is he, isn't he" bullshit going on about him being lgbt. I personally think he's just catering to his stupid d/n/f shippers bc they like to truth their relationship & sexuality all the time and he's never explicitly said he's bi or smth. He's just vaguely been like "yeeeaahhhh I mostly like girls like 99% but maaaayyybeee I like guys idkkkk. 🤪" But he's also done that multiple times so who tf knows. I'm not gonna fully dismiss him & I understand no one including me is entitled to his specific sexuality, but he has garbage credibility on like everything so I'm neutral on the matter and find it hard to believe him

Not directly him related, but his stans went on a long and horrifying witch hunt on Twitter during the kkk ordeal doxxing, death threatening & harassing ENTIRE mcyt subtwts who spoke out against him and called him out on his racism, performative activism, shitty apology, etc. For example, I was part of S/neeg's subtwt and all my mutuals and me had to go private to avoid getting doxxed. It felt like being raided in some dystopian ass horror film. Entire subtwts were going private, panicking, paranoid they'd get outed & stalked & harassed by people just for condemning racism, raising Black voices, etc. It was borderline traumatic to some people, I know people who lost sleep over it bc they were so afraid.

That's all I can think of off the top of my head but the end of 2021 to early 2022 was a fucking nightmare between him being an immature entitled piece of shit and his stans blindly defending him and going out of their way to endanger people who rightfully opposed him.

[girlfromthecrypt]

i don't mind the rambles, don't worry. but yeah, honestly trans people even when we're not shown in media as specifically unattractive, we're not like. depicted as attractive either. we don't get to be like objects of attraction if that makes sense? we get to be like side characters and shit. and top surgery or any surgical scars are generally pretty damn taboo because ooOOOOoooo we're mutilating something or other or whatever the fuck it is. even irl, we're generally considered a stereotypically unattractive group. when trans people are rarely represented, we don't get to be like objects of attraction. we're usually "and here's the lesson! don't be mean!" one off characters or best friend characters (assuming we're not horrible stereotypes). plus a lot of medias arent eager to add us in in general in fear of losing their more conservative audiences.

it's totally fine when you rant, I do it too (as demonstrated by the above), I've had quite a few VN/IF creators apologize to me about like rambling about their games and like, I'm asking questions because i love the media. I get the feeling, cause I get that about other stuff. but seriously, info-dumping about something you've created that people love is awesome for fans (not to speak for all of us, but generally it seems to be)

Ngl I'm blind to a lot of that media portrayal bc I'm not entrenched in a lot of media anymore. I "conceived" Basil as trans from the start (he was a LI/supporting character in a nosleep story [horror writing subreddit over on Reddit] I never ended up posting), and in my mind, he was just always "him" and always pretty cute. I was comfortable enough writing a trans character bc one of my oldest friends is a trans man, and he let me ask him just about anything I wanted to know. Ofc I researched most of the necessary info on my own, but having him around was still helpful and very reassuring. (In hindsight, this is also making me kinda sad bc that friend and I have kinda drifted apart since...)

I was kinda hesitant about sharing though bc I was afraid of getting things wrong, but hey, if what you're saying about the mainstream portrayal of trans folk is anything to go off of, I'm probably doing okay (nervous laughter).

Actually, have an excerpt from the original story Basil appeared in! [Note: he's WAYYY dorkier and socially awkward in this than in Such Happy Campers. He's also a landlord in this, so the vanlife stuff and spiritualism is part of his overhaul for SHC. But original Basil makes the same amount of horrible jokes.] [more below]

I was prepared to camp outside that house. That turned out not to be necessary, as right at that moment, a peculiar-looking youngish man appeared in the doorway. Pieces of striped tapestry clung to his threadbare tracksuit and glue coated a good portion of his hair.

I asked him if he’d just been in a fight, and he assured me he’d merely been putting up new wallpapers in one of the apartments. When I asked whether he had something for me to rent on short notice, he was surprisingly cooperative. He introduced himself to me as Basil, and enthusiastically welcomed me to the house and the neighborhood. When we shook hands, our palms stuck together. 

“Sorry… I had an accident with the glue,” he explained, grimacing awkwardly. “Don’t worry, I got something to wash it off. You’d best come in.”

With a glance at our entwined fingers, I told him I obviously had nowhere else to go, to which he replied that one could say my hands were tied.

Been meaning to share this snippet for a while and this seems a good opportunity. This was how he "looked" at the time/how the main character describes him:

I admittedly always considered him very attractive, albeit goofy-looking with his fluffy blond mustache and mullet. Something about his appearance inspired trust and openness, and the warmth he exuded was more than welcome.

So yeah, that's some of Basil's history. In this old version, he was actually kind of insecure about his surgery scars (which were fresher at the time, and he hated a lot of his looks in general), which I ended up discarding because I much prefer him with astronomic levels of smugness. Like, I want him to be fully aware of how good he looks.

I'm very happy with the current version of Basil, and I'm glad I "saved" his character for this IF project instead of posting his story back then. I just realized (while I was writing the nosleep story at the time) that I LOVED writing him and wanted to have him there in a bigger project, which ended up being SHC.

Okay yeah I'm about to be one of those IF authors you mentioned bc now I need to apologize as well. I went on a huge tangent here. Hope this particular infodump was at least somewhat interesting to you! Either way, thanks so much for the talk.

[frida-kahl-of-the-rocky-horror]

I saw this back when I used to use Reddit (for animal crossing and trans+ stuff mostly), and I felt so honoured that they used my Florida flag redesign in this that I screenshotted it. But when I looked to find the original poster, they had deleted the post (likely because of negative replies, vexillology Reddit is scary).

They recreated the state flags to be more about symbolism and individuality rather than about aesthetics (which is the problem I see with a lot of over simplified state flags). All while keeping the flags that actually carry deep meaning and are beloved by the residents.

I’m not the biggest fan of Nebraska’s, Virginia’s, and Wisconsin’s, but all the others are wonderful (especially Florida’s… I will not apologize for being biased lol)

The original Reddit person’s caption:

“I kept some flags which I believe are currently great. Most of them are all over State merchandise, and people of these states carry a lot of state pride for these flags. They are:

1. Alabama

2. Alaska

3. Arizona

4. Arkansas

5. California

6. Colorado

7. lowa

8. Maryland

9. Mississippi

10. Missouri

11. New Mexico

12. Ohio, my home state! [not mine, OPs]

13. Rhode Island

14. South Carolina

15. Tennessee

16. Texas

17. Utah

18. Wyoming

19. District of Columbia [I believe you mean the Douglass Commonwealth]

20. Guam

21. The Northern Mariana Islands

22. Puerto Rico

I've switched some State’s boring Seal on a Bedsheet flags into their more popular historical ones. They are:

23. Conecticut ~ New England Flag

24. Hawaii ~ Kanaka Maoli

25. Maine ~ Original State Flag

26. Vermont ~ Green Mountain Boys Flag

27. Virginia ~ Gadsden Flag

28. West Virginia ~ Original State Flag

I've made a few tweaks to some existing flags so they look more unique / are more easily recognizable. They are:

29. Indiana ~ Golden Frame

30. New Jersey ~ Added Stripes

31. North Carolina ~ Un-Tex-ified

32. Oklahoma ~ Added Stripes

33. American Samoa ~ Added Southern Cross

I designed some using the Pan Cascade colours for the Pacific Northwest (BC will have the tree one). They are:

34. Idaho

35. Oregon

36. Washington

I borrowed some other designs which I found on here which I found beautiful. I mostly looked for flags which were designed by locals from the states that they are redesigning or included state symbols on their old flags. They are:

37. Florida [omg they chose mine!!!]

38. Georgia

39. Kansas

40. Kentucky

41. Louisiana

42. Michigan

43. Montana

44. Nevada

45. New Hampshire

46. New York

47. North Dakota [I prefer my communist flag better wajajaja]

48. Pennsylvania

49. South Dakota

50. Wisconsin

51. Virgin Islands

I left the flags currently in the process of a redesign blank, for, given the recent track record, any new flags are probably going to look amazing like Utah’s and Mississippi’s. They are:

52. Illinois [this is your reminder to vote for your new state flag if you’re from this state!!!]

53. Massachusetts [this is your reminder to vote for your new state flag if you’re from this state!!!]

54. Minnesota [this is your reminder to vote for your new state flag if you’re from this state!!!]

I kept one Seal on a Bedsheet flag to honour this horrid time in American vexillological history. That is:

55. Delaware

And lastly

56. Nebraska (idk)”

While I agree with most of the OP’s opinions, I think Nebraska’s flag would look better if it looked something like this:

Better designed of course, I made this on Pic Collage in like 5 minutes

Im not sure about Wisconsin and Virginia, I just know I’m not the biggest fan of either (since Virginia’s flag has a separate meaning and Wisconsin’s is just bland.

Let me know what you think!

And if you’re the OP of this, please let me know, I like your choices!!

[diagonal-queen]

I HAVE A REQ IDEA NOW THX TO UR LATEST POST <33

How abt platonic Hcs of being an older sibling (gn!reader) to Kyouka and Kenji?? I had to include Kenji too bcs I wanna give him a big hug and give kyouka so many headpats 🥹🥹

Feel free to take ur time! Ur health (both physically mentally and emotionally) comes first :DD

YAY HIIIIIIII <333333 thank you for the req my love 🌸 i appreciate your concern. stuff's been a little crazy in my house lately so i've been doing a lot more writing to try and distract myself lol, i got this one done lickety split <3 please also try your best to take care of yourself too!

Being their Older Sibling

♡ characters: Kyouka Izumi, Kenji Miyazawa, older sibling!gn!Reader

♡ synopsis: What would it be like to be the older sibling of Kyouka and Kenji?

♡ cw: We're assuming for my sake that reader works at the ADA alongside their younger sibling.

note: I love both Kyouka and Kenji sm they're my babies my children my sunshines. Also they'd make a cute couple when they get older ❤️ Apologies for errors and please enjoy!

Kyouka:

Being Kyouka's older sibling is both easy and difficult.

It's very easy to amuse her and buy her presents/gifts/food she likes, and talk to her about work

But it's hard to tell what she's feeling and to explain her sometimes odd behaviour to other people. She can be pretty difficult to communicate with when she's going through her teenage angst

You and Atsushi are naturally close because she also sees him as an older sibling. You two are her bodyguards (in theory. really, she's the one guarding the both of you (possible romance arc? 😳))

Kyouka despite being the younger sibling is fiercely overprotective of you. It's possible she'd even be willing to kill again to keep you safe, and she prefers to accompany you on missions instead of leave you alone

If you're feeling down this absolute angel will do whatever it takes to help you feel better. Pat your back, let you hug her plushies, cook you food, give you space etc.

Fukuzawa is as fond of you as he is of Kyouka lol

You two go out for lunch somewhere in the city every so often to discuss life and your coworkers (you get lots of tofu for her)

When you two have free time you like to do little activities together like origami or playing notepad games like hangman

You sometimes tell Atsushi stories about Kyouka from when she was very young (I...don't think she's a fan of this behaviour)

She leaves you little supportive notes at your desk sometimes <3

Kenji:

You could not have asked for a better younger brother than Kenji Miyazawa. He's just such a good kid!

Since you and he were both raised the same way in Ihatovo, you probably solve crimes in a similar way to him and then leave it to him to use his ability on enemies (Kunikida is tired)

Quite a lot of your salary goes towards food for Kenji. He eats a lot of food because his ability burns a lot of energy.

If you ever feel sad this kid is always there to put a smile on your face. He's just a bundle of sunshine and he's so empathetic, he always knows exactly what to say to fix your mood

You two go out around Yokohama a lot just because you can. You like to explore city things and observe city people together because a lot of things are still pretty new to the both of you

Kenji is rather blunt so he probably tells people random details about you that embarrass you on accident

He helps you carry all your stuff, obvi

You probably both have a lot of inside jokes, references or knowledge that's exclusive to your old village and whenever you bring them up to one another everybody around you is just like 'literally what are they talking about'

If you get a partner Kenji would really be like 'I'm glad you like my sibling! But if you did anything to hurt them I'd throttle you! :D' and you'd be like 'KENJI STOP' (he's actually pretty chill and trusts you, but he's definitely willing to throw hands if someone hurts you)

When you introduce people to him you have to give them a (discreet) warning not to make him mad because whoo boy

since i don't have any friends here, i tend to hang out in town with my brother. the amount of times we've been mistaken for a couple, oh my god. EVERYONE who sees us assumes we're dating and it's so uncomfortable lol. also fun fact i've basically written sibling characters for like, MOST of the characters. i even gave some of them names and backstories based on the characters' irl counterparts' literature lmao. i got way too into it especially with Fyodor's sister T-T

and of course thank you to @kxmikomrade for this adorable req!

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

good evening! your response is well said & you’re completely right. evan has gotten so much shit from so many people over the years, it’s exhausting constantly having to defend him & reveal truth to people. regarding the person who said those things about evan, i’m pretty sure that was actually my first time interacting with them, they are not my preexisting friend. & you’re right, age really does not matter when it comes to false accusations & i believe that wholeheartedly. the reason i mentioned his age is bc i was under the impression some of your readers were wanting you to drag him rather than educate him in a respectful manner & i have an issue with people cyberbullying minors for the sake of it. if i misread that then i apologize & i’ll change my perspective.

& i never unfollowed you queen, i just made a new acc & got rid of the old one which is probably why you thought i unfollowed. i appreciate what you do for this fandom & even if we disagree on some things, i respect you & believe that you have nothing but good intentions. not that you would know bc it hasn’t been public but i have defended you many times as well. my frustrations are not with you specifically, i am more so using your platform to speak to the anons who seem to have an issue with me as they are doing.

to the anons who are concerned about my posts, i would be happy to speak to you directly & have a civil conversation if you are ever interested but idk who you are so if you care to discuss further, please don’t hesitate to dm me! i am more than happy to have a discussion at any time.

tweam, i hope that you enjoy your edibles & bubble bath! i’m going to go spend some time with my loved ones before unwinding.

i sincerely do appreciate you clarifying your statement and why you responded the way you did. i understand, and truthfully, i think most fans who see people repeating false information get exhausted, and the default position is to assume that the person wants to argue, be defamatory, and has no interest in you educating them by presenting facts that counter their argument. while that is very common on stan twt, it's not always the case, and we have to do our best to operate with good intentions and not become malicious because of past experiences. i certainly do try to maintain my perspective, so thank you for saying that.

and to any readers who want to weigh in on this: please understand that this is not the place to hold forum about a social media user that you don't like. the door has already been opened for you to speak directly if you feel like there is something you need to say, so i ask that you do not attempt to use me as a go-between because i am not posting this type of message. i know it's the norm for people to share tweets that they disagree with or peoples' hot takes, and that's fine - but if there is a situation where a particular person just really rubs you the wrong way, there's no reason continually seek them out. one of the reasons i created this blog was because i wanted people to have a space where all could share thoughts/opinions/discuss topics about evan that were way too policed on other platforms, and particularly, to move away from the extreme negativity and bullying atmosphere of the post-frannie and dahmer fandom that was going to hell on here. i know everyone is bored because of the lack of evan content, but i really just don't care about someone being a fan of jared leto or who is beefing on twitter. it isn't relevant, none of this has anything to do with evan, and it for damn sure doesn't have anything to do with me. i have my own opps to deal with lmfao i truly appreciate everyone who contributes to this blog positively - whether you send in your fanfic writing, your random thoughts about evan, excitement when we get a new crumb, tiktok edits, legal services for koya, etc.. it is valued, and tweam is only possible because of what you guys add.

[jovenshires]

Hey the new Ianthony edit? Made me emo as fuck it really had me in my feels very cool.

I didn't see it on the 'smosh' tag? Idk if that's intentional thought you should know if it's not <3 -dot hell anon

TYSM i had so much fun making that one so im glad <3333

ah yeah... that was intentional. old habits die hard i guess? this got a little away from me so i put my extremely long rant under the cut, but tlwr: i try not to tag a lot of shipping stuff as /smosh.

see, i'm not new to the smosh fandom, but i am relatively new to THIS version of the fandom. i came back a couple of months ago but my real heyday was in like. 2018-2020. and we had pretty set rules for how we went about things, and one of the BIG ones was to never put anything ship-related in the main tags (those tags being cast names and the main smosh tag itself).

this was for a couple different reasons; first of all, some of the actual smosh staff was on tumblr (the official smosh blog for one, and i think one of the cast used tumblr at the time?? not sure on that one though as i Cannot remember), and we didn't want them to have to view rpf of themselves in spaces just generally meant for posting about them/their company. like say courtney, for example, goes into the 'courtney miller' tag - there's a difference between seeing a post about her bit in the new tntl and a post about them. fucking ian nasty style. not that there's anything wrong with the latter, just that i am very conscientious about not showing the real person fiction to the real person(s) in question, as was a lot of the smosh fandom.

second of all, not every smosh fan is into rpf. our venn diagram is not a circle. there was a time when i was not a part of the venn diagram. it's why i try to tag every post with 'shipping' and/or 'rpf' when it even vaguely hints at the stuff, so that not everybody has to see it. this isn't exclusive to this topic - i would do that for anything divisive. so, yeah, casual smosh fans scrolling the main tag probably don't want to see my silly ship edits, and i get that!!

since i've returned we obviously have a much different fandom culture - the old smosh blog shut down years ago and i'm fairly certain none of the cast checks tumblr anymore (and if they do and they're reading this: i'd like to apologize and beg for them to block me for both of our sanities). i've also made a few exceptions to my own rule, such as with the incorrect tweets bc i think those can mostly be written off as jokes and the lil au edits though i regret that at times. (i've been considering un-tagging those for a while tbh.) i've also realized recently that the tag 'smosh fic' just gets sorted directly into the 'smosh' tag which is. a pain in the ass. that's not what i said tumblr and you know it. so some of my content has been filtered in there. but you'll notice with the lil clips and text posts i post and stuff i almost never tag it as 'smosh' because. i just don't need people to see it ya know. i've got my people here and that's enough for me <3

that is all to say by the way that the new fandom culture is not BAD. as we all know, i'm very pro-rpf, so seeing rpf out there is great (as long as you know it's not tinhatting etc etc). we also have a very diverse community now with a lot of interesting ships and great fics that i would never have found without casually scrolling through the smosh tag!! it's also easier nowadays to block tags than ever; casual fans can just block the 'shipping' tag and have (relatively) easy access to the smosh tag. so please all of you keep doing you - i'm not your mother and i don't expect you to listen to lil ole me where i live perched up on my soap box. BUT idk if i personally can get over my hang-ups about tags.

[dylanobriengossip]

Dylan O'Brien's new problematic girlfriend Rachael Lange (2023) I Part 2

Part 1 I Part 3 I Part 4

Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse…. more disturbing things came to light.

Taylor Swift, Harry Styles & Selena Gomez

Everyone knows Dylan is a Swiftie and also starred in Taylor's "All Too Well: The Short Film" and they have also been friends for a couple years now. Let's see what Rachael thinks of Taylor:

Interesting... because back in 2011 she claimed to be a Swiftie. 🙃 Rachael (2nd from the left) with friends at what seems to be a Taylor Swift concert. The caption of the pic that one of her friends shared (fb): "Taylor Swift! Never grow up…stay this little.."

Dylan is also a fan of Harry Styles.

And many years ago Dylan used to have a crush on Selena Gomez.

After Rachael got exposed:

She went private on Twitter and deleted over 400+ Tweets (which is already an insane number) but yet still hasn't managed to delete all problematic ones 🤦‍♀️

Blocked those who called her out on all her social media accounts

Deleted the Instagram post (she had during that time) where everyone commented and called her out

Restricted the comments on all her Instagram accounts so only the ones who follow her can comment now

She also censors the comments, only those comments that praise her and whatnot are accepted to show up in the comments

Untagged herself from all the posts she was tagged in where you can see her with Dylan at the Ami Paris Fashion Week Show

Rachael deleted this video after she got backlash for it

Deleted the TikTok video where she was called out but forgot to delete the comments on her other videos

Deactivated her TikTok account but made it public again recently

The Apology

January 23, 2023 After doing all these things to hide what she did/said in the past she posted this Apology on her Twitter (obviously it had to be shared there bc that's where it happened) but it was also good enough for her to share it in a 24h TikTok Story.

You probably ask yourself why are people still upset about it. She apologized and everything is okay now. No not really because she never shared it on her Instagram account where her most followers are and obviously people also called her out on there too and not just on Twitter and TikTok. And let's be honest after all those things she said more than just that apology should have been done. So if that doesn't speak volumes... And not to forget all those marginalized communities she offended and hurt by those words. Do you really think they will be like: "She was young and didn't know better.", "Now she apologized. Just let us brush it under the rug." Even if you're not someone from those communities just take some time to think about how you would feel if you were in their position. Doesn't feel great right? So don't expect them to just accept that apology and forget about what she said. It doesn't matter what age you are. There never was and never will be a time when it's okay to say any of those things. So many other people in that age know that this is wrong and never did. So please stop defending her. She was old enough to know saying these things is wrong but kept doing it anyway. Was that apology (if she even wrote that herself or got somebody else to do it for her) genuine or not? That's up to you to decide and if you accept that or not. Everyone thinks differently about this and has a different opinion.

But think about this. What does it tell you about a person who:

After being exposed was like: "Oh no. Wait let me quickly go private on Twitter to try to remove all of that so no one can hold that against me anymore." (Screenshots exist for a reason so that didn't make things better for you or made ppl forget that js).

Again never shared that apology on her Instagram, the place with her most followers

Waited until things cooled off and didn't post anything until like a month later and came back with a post to make promo for her brand (Seriously!?! You've got to be kidding me). 🤦‍♀️

You would think someone who said all those things would do more to prove to people that they changed especially after that big amount of disgusting things. But what is Rachael doing? She keeps ignoring the elephant in the room and went back to regularly posting as if nothing happened. And remember that part where she untagged herself from posts about her and Dylan? Well.... the more and more she felt safe and made people think she changed the more she made their relationship public on her Instagram. While (as always) keeps ignoring the fact that this is damaging her & her boyfriend's reputation/image even more thanks to all those things that came out about her. How? Read that here

And as if all of that hasn't been bad enough already. They also found these:

TikTok

Rachael posted this video on her TikTok account back in 2021.

"I’m grossly proud of my scrunchie and bag coordination #fyp"

Funny you say that Rachael because...

x, x, x, x, x, x

Source

Her old AskFM account

Ana (Logan Lerman’s girlfriend) you should keep an eye out on your new bestie Rachael. 👀

Her Family

Rachael with her parents Michael and Shirley and her brother Kyle Lange.

Her brother

"In 2014, a warrant was issued for the arrest of Kyle who was 21 at the time of Friendswood, for Aggravated Assault with a Deadly Weapon. Kyle and his girlfriend were fighting in the driveway of Lange's residence in the 2000 block of Pebble Lane on August 12. The girlfriend called a friend to pick her up, but when the friend arrived, Lange allegedly threatened them both with a handgun. His bond was set at $80,000 for the Aggravated Assault with a Deadly Weapon Charge, but no bond was set for the drug charges since Lange was serving two years of felony probation for Possession of Psilocybin." Source I x

Then there are these 2 Instagram Stories of him from 2023: x, x

Rachael and her mom

and then there's this more recent one of Rachael from a couple years ago.

[two-sides-samecoin]

I just came to a realization lmao (I send you an ask an hour ago about my first few hater asks)

And well all those people have one problem and that's Steve. Like their faves, namely Jancy, they are allowed to hate Steve for what he did in s1. Despite Nancy in the show dating him for a year after that or Jonathan getting his ass saved twice (plus he got an apology and new camera that was probably much better than his old one). But as soon as Steve shows any negative emotions to those two, who without a doubt hurt him he's not allowed to do so. And if you point it out you're automatically anti Jancy or a misogynist. Same with when you make Robin defend Steve, they throw a fit even tho in the show Robin just wants the best for bff. But bc it's Steve they take away this part because how dare anyone say something good about him. It's funny how they insist he's the worst or always bring up Steve's mistakes from s1 when he is the only character out of those 3 who actually grew, owned up his mistakes and became a better person. Meanwhile Jancy is still stuck in their ways and are stagnant, like they still the same people acting the same. They never showed remorse for hurting Steve because they don't give a fuck. Jonathan never made it up to Steve for taking those photos of him, or for sleeping with his gf. And Nancy doesn't think she hurt him with the way she ended things and yet Steve in the show and fandom still loves them and probably has to make it up to Jonathan in s5 because other wise he would be perceived as an ass.

oh it is 100% because they don’t like steve! i made a post about this before but if steve did the things to robin that they want robin to do to steve they would 100% be saying that he should die and that he’s a horrible friend but people will let anything slide that gets done to steve i mean look at how everyone just ignores how nancy knew she wanted to be with jonathan yet is with steve and how everyone reacts to the bullshit scene. if it was steve who said that to nancy then ohhh fucking boy people would actually scream and not think twice about the trauma he’s been through but steve fans are painted as being hysterical or overdramatic for getting emotional about steve hearing that he’s bullshit, that someone he loves sees him as the killer of their bestie despite him not actually being responsible for said death, and etc. i’m 100% sure that people would not defend him or give him the same amount of sympathy that nancy gets.

honestly everything you said in here! honestly i’m dreading the jonathan and steve interactions that we may have in season 5 because once again it’s gonna be someone who doesn’t have any more reason to hate steve yet they’re gonna rehash it and people again are gonna do the ‘well steve was an asshole’ thing again and i genuinely do not think i can take it anymore. steve fans have to hear 24/7 about the supposed asshole he was in high school yet any of the asshole actions that the other teens do get swept under the rug cuz they’re seen as this ‘underdog’ or it’s holier than thou complex. honestly i wouldn’t mind seeing the teens do asshole actions if there wasn’t always this double standard of seeing jancy and other teens as perfect angels meanwhile steve fans get the ‘well you have to acknowledge that he’s an asshole otherwise you don’t like any of the other characters and what i said does for every single person regardless of what they actually post/how they think’ i’m just sooo tired of this double standard shit

[concordefliesinmyroom]

introduction !!!

hii !!!! my name is Violet. i am a really big fan of art & whatnot (basic). i have been taking on a little bit of a personal challenge 2 listen 2 at least one new album every day & ive been working on that challenge for about 1.5 years now !!! i looove talking about art and sharing my thoughts and 4 the past year or so i have been posting all my thoughts and media analysis and whatnot onto my Instagram story, but i have always wanted 2 start posting my thoughts somewhere that is more.... permanent, i guess? bc Instagram stories expire after 24 hours yk. anyways. i finally made a Tumblr blog !!!!! i am COMPLETELY new 2 Tumblr. so i apologize in advance if my blog is like informal or not very "good" quality by Tumblr standards or whatever else i will get better !!!

here is what u can expect from this page:

i am going to post music reviews/recommendations most likely, as well as film & literature & all of that stuff. whenever i see a piece of media that interests me enough 2 want 2 talk abt it im gonna use this blog 2 share my thoughts !!!!

i also am really interested in philosophy, i am only just now formally getting into it, but i have been thinking about that sort of stuff and asking questions like that 4ever. erm. i wouldnt call myself a philosopher bc that feels pretentious but i aspire 2 be a philosopher eventually. ill probably post abt that sort of stuff as well. i am also VERY interested in sociology, psychology, anthropology, political science... pretty much anything like that. i just love learning about things in general EVERYTHING is so fascinating 2 me but especially humanity.

i am a bit interested in politics as well !!!! i dont like to use any labels 4 my political ideas bc i feel like those can be limiting & contribute 2 close-mindedness but if i had 2 describe my alignment in any way i am probably pretty far-left. although i am completely open 2 hearing everyone's ideas!

i might also post about other things as well, im not sure yet !!!

some info abt me:

i am a girl, so, she/her pronouns ig !

i am 16 years old (well im 15 but i turn 16 in two weeks)

i am a member of the LGBTQ community

my handle on most social media sites is yourdadcosplay if u want 2 follow me anywhere else !!! (i dont do cosplay or anything~ when i was 13 i heard some guy on tiktok say the phrase "your dad cosplay" and i thought that combination of words was super funny so i made it into my username on instagram and then it just kind of stuck. and i use that on everything now. only reason i didnt use it 4 my tumblr is bc i didnt want ppl 2 think my blog was a cosplay blog or something idk)

my favorite music artists r: Black Country New Road, Kimya Dawson, Death Grips, Xiu Xiu, and Car Seat Headrest !!!!

my favorite album of all time is Ants From Up There and my favorite movie of all time is Everything Everywhere All at Once, both of those pieces came out in the year 2022.

my favorite book is the manga Goodnight Punpun by Inio Asano, and its actually the book that made me fall in love with literature.

im currently working on creating my own website!!! i dont know anything about HTML though, so it will be a long process.

i dont believe in astrology rlly but i am a Gemini.

my iq is 122 or something around that i dont remember the number i just remember im in the 93rd percentile

i am an INFP

boundaries:

i do try my absolute best to be open-minded and tolerant towards everyone's ideas and beliefs; even those which i disagree with. i actually encourage ppl who disagree with anything i say 2 challenge me or discuss/debate with me. that being said, if u r not willing 2 have a civil and open-minded discussion with me, and if ur only interest is arguing, then i will ask u 2 pls leave me alone. i love talking 2 ppl who have ideas different than my own, but i do not wish 2 engage in any immature internet beefs or anything of that sort.

pls, 4 the love of god, if u r the type of person who gets offended over every little thing; if u r more concerned with petty discourse & things that have no significance 2 any real-life problems; if u lack media literacy; or if u r otherwise just unintelligent, then PLEASE dont interact with my page.

i try my absolute best 2 be a good person. if i ever do anything that u find 2 be morally offensive (this is not just if i say something that makes u feel a bit of angst, but if i say something that u feel is actually problematic.) or if we r interacting directly & i make u uncomfortable, PLEASE TELL ME! i hate it when ppl have problems with me that could easily be resolved but they just dont tell me. it makes me anxious.

also, pls note:

just because i talk about a certain piece of media or art or literature on this blog does not necessarily mean that i agree with the ideas expressed in that blog or even that i like that piece. i try my best to think 4 myself and i do not take all of the ideas that r expressed 2 me as the absolute truth. just because i read any given book does not mean that i necessarily agree with its ideas; the same goes 4 all of the topics i discuss here.

as a large part of this blog is abt media discussion & whatnot, i want 2 say that i am absolutely open 2 any art. and i will not avoid any piece of media just because it is allegedly problematic.

most of this page is dedicated 2 sharing and discussing my ideas on various topics like art, philosophy, politics, and such. i dont think that im going 2 be posting or saying anything that is incredibly morally offensive or anything, and 2 be honest i dont even think my ideas r particularly radical or controversial, but, if there ever does come a time when i might have a potentially controversial idea, i wont hesitate 2 share it. im not going 2 censor myself or sugarcoat my beliefs on this blog just 2 avoid discourse.

all of that being said, this blog is not 2 be taken 100% seriously either. i will talk abt serious topics on here, but i like 2 laugh as well! u should not assume that anything i say is 100% serious or 100% satirical. that SHOULD be a given, but on my Instagram account, i have had a worrying amount of interactions with ppl who got mad at me 4 things bc they assumed i was serious when i wasnt or vice versa.

ok, that is all !!! thx 4 reading !!!

[sunnywalnut]

This^^^

Like if you ASK me to infodump, I likely won't. Or if I try, it won't be very good. But if you ask me follow up questions and engage in genuine conversation, I probably will ramble a bit but I will stop halfway through and apologize. Because that is what has been conditioned of me. I've been told to keep it short. To not waste people's time.

But also sometimes I struggle with listening to OTHER people infodump bc

A: I don't know what the fuck is going on

B: I don't know enough about the source material to actually be engaged.

I'll still listen! I'll just probably be a bit distracted or uncertain of myself when I ask questions. Because I do love my friends. I'm just horrible at sitting still when things don't click "right" in my brain.

And yes. If those things that people infodump about challenges my strict sense of justice(because remember. That is an autistic trait as well) I will feel the intense need to share my feelings on the matter. Like my entire skin is burning and I'm going to combust unless I let it out.

Which more often than not leaves people irritated, frustrated, and disappointed that I don't also like The Thing

Which also ended up with me losing relationships with people that enjoyed things that I found controversial. Like k pop, for example.

The industry is exploitative and thrives off of harboring parasocial relationships with young fans.

I do not like that. I will tell you I don't like that. And I will not listen to k pop songs at all because of it. No matter how good they are or if their songs are in English.

This quite literally ended a friendship of mine bc they were too far into the fan space and had too much of a parasocial relationship that they took my criticism of the industry as me attacking the people they saw as their friends/family. They ghosted me for 2 entire weeks and for months after that, nothing changed. If anything, it got worse. Because both of us were on two opposite sides of the spectrum and I could not handle the sexualization, infantalization, [and sometimes f3tishization] alongside the fact that they would infodump information about these people EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

Meanwhile THEY could not handle the idea of somebody not wanting to listen to these cool people that they loved so much and thought were awesome as hell.

And before you judge either of us too harshly, please know that we were both 15 and this person likely did not know all of the things that I did about the industry. They just saw cute people that would talk to and have a relationship with their fans. Which is very normal for a fifteen year old. I however. Am obsessed with figuring out the dirty details of everything as soon as I can. Which leads to a lot of my black and white thinking. While I now recognize that this is the issue, as well as my age at the time, I've made peace with these events.

While I do think that both of us could've worked through a bunch of communication instead of being butts to one another and ignoring each other's boundaries, it quite literally was the stark differences and firm stand points that we had that ended our friendship. Because I was not able to let go of my morals enough to be supportive of my friend finding a new type of music they liked, and because they could not stop long enough to realize that maybe their (then asexual) friend does not want to watch videos of people biting their lip and the tens of thousands of explicit fanfic that came from that single moment.

We are both autistic. Or at least I believe so. I myself have a diagnosis, while last I heard from them, they were still in the middle of getting one. And five years later, I realize that this was also part of the problem.

Not every single autistic person is going to get along with one another. You can't just clock somebody as autistic and then ASSUME that they're gonna be okay with sitting in silence while you talk about your favorite band for three hours. The same way that you can't just ASSUME that somebody knows that when you are silent and don't look at them, it means that you want them to sit quietly with you.

Everyone has different needs. And sometimes those needs aren't met by someone else, even if you're similar in certain ways.

Developmental disabilities like autism have so many different ways of showing up and sometimes that clashes with other people in ways that you can't control.

The best you can do is to recognize how it affects you and to try and adapt to meet someone in the middle.

Like. Autism doesn't come with an automatic love of hearing anyone infodump about anything they love. In fact sometimes it comes with the opposite. Sometimes restricted interests are in fact restrictive enough to make anything else boring. Sometimes it's just hard to process that much speech. Doesn't mean we get to be unkind about it either but yeah. This fantasy people push of autistics having endless energy and appreciation for each other's special interests is just not realistic.

[moonlightperseus]

I get that. I was kind of like "it won't be good, bit it WILL be babs" and that was almost enough for me. I tried. I just didn't succeed.

I am an hour away from finishing the Graceling audio book and I just? Cannot get myself to listen to it. I had to renew it just for AN HOUR. That's my biggest issue with audio books. But everyone's different. I understand you liking them for long drives.

I liked seeing Dinah have a mom lmao. That was literally my favorite part I don't even remember what else happened.

That's fine I haven't continued bombshells. We're in this together 💔 I'm glad you're enjoying the others though!! I forgot actually that I was going to look into buying my brother a zatanna comic for Christmas. So thank you for accidentally reminding me.

I went to them a lot when I was little because all of my big siblings were super into them but then I stopped for a while and only wanted to go this year for art I didn't buy. They ARE fun but also yeah I spent like a solid 4 hours too overwhelmed and just not wanting to be there.

And I DID draw her. I hate it, because I'm not good at what I do. But the cosplayer did lead to me drawing a Dinah and posting her on my silly little art account.

The delay is fine dw. We're equally bad at being timely it seems.

I will just add a quick note though: I was scrolling through Amazon and saw leverage and I ALMOST watched it because of you. (until I remembered that I am a disaster and cannot sit through a single episode of anything and it was a lost cause)

i would like to apologize because it has been basically 2 weeks since i received this ask. i apologize. i have been busy and tired 😔

oh yeah i def have a harder time remembering to read audiobooks when i’m just chilling at home. it’s like. yeah i could put my headphones on and listen while i do chore stuff but that requires me to motivate myself to do said chore stuff 😭 sometimes i’ll listen to audiobooks when i’m alone at work (sometimes it’s a little hard when dogs are barking) or when i go on a walk with my dog and that’s been helping me with reading outside of just long car rides.

i think i started the annual of injustice2 before i went on my unintentional comic break (had a friends wedding and just Life happening) but i need to actually commit to continuing my read. for a little bit before my break i had started on some of the old dc/marvel amalgam comic specials because i think the concept of mashing characters together, especially from different comic universes, is really fun.

oh!! so i was away at the beach for my friends wedding (wild that i am old enough that the friends my age are getting married.) but while we were there my family went to a flea market and i found some of the old guard tales through time comics for 2$ each and i bought three of them. i haven’t cracked any of them open or even taken them out of their plastic sleeves yet but i’m proud of myself for getting them bc they are used (though in pretty good condition) i’m not a fan of the traditional tog comic art but, at least for the one joenicky one, the art is a lot more my speed. and i got the andy and nile cover ones too because. women.

i think i would like to go to a comic con eventually. at some point. a smaller con though probably.

if you ever feel like sharing i would love to see ur art/art account!!

omg i love that you associate me w leverage. i do LOVE that show and heavily recommend it to anyone seeking out a new show but i completely understand you not seeking out a show rn! (if u ever do feel like checking it out i would love to hear ur thoughts but no pressure)

hope you have been doing well in these past two weeks and i promise i will try to not unintentionally ghost you again for two weeks i really kept meaning to reply to this ask but also kept forgetting 😔

[idyllic-affections]

oooohhhhhh 🦊 is a lovely choice!

Anyways, hi ⭐ (and lio!) thanks for the questions:

Who's your favourite character?

for genshin, its without a doubt xiao. ive mostly lost interest in the game (but that obsession will probably come back in a few months stronger than ever, just give it some time to cook lol), however he still has a special place in my heart, y'know? like, i wasnt that much of a fan before i found out how fucking bad his english translation was (no offence to laila, though. she's a sweetheart i just dont think she was a good choice for him :/). i also adore his chinese VA, kinsens voice is so good!

A few honorable mentions would be: venti, zhongli, guizhong, gorou, scara, yanfei and yelan

hsr is also a very quick answer lol. its yanqing! i first found out about him from the joke that he was xiaoaether's kid, since im very fond of that ship. and even when i started playing, something about him just made me love him, and i wanted to get him as the free five star (and i did! hes my strongest character yet). to me, hes very much "some kid" but thats what i like about him, hes charming, hes cute and has alot of story potential.

honorable mentions: tingyun, serval and dan heng

obv these arent the only fandoms im in but i wasnt sure if you where asking for every single one

Cat or dog person?

Yippee, a question that wont take two paragraphs to answer! Im very much a cat person, but i have owned a few dogs in my life (rip to čupko* and hepi (his original name was 'srećko' which basically means 'happy person' (masc.) in serbian but my grandpa changed it. little me was pissed lol)

I also have a cat now, her name is jinx and shes currently napping on my windowsill<333

Why did you choose the 🐌 emoji?

ok funnily enough i was actually racking my nerves trying to chose an emoji, i remember i wanted to try the 🦭 emoji, but chose the snail bc its one one my favourite animals. and now that i think about it, a snail fits the garden theme most of us have going on lol

sorry for sending this behemoth into your askbox lol (well idk its going to look like as an ask yet), but i absolutely adore answering questions, even if im awful at asking them. so if youll humor me, ive got some question of my own:

whats the most recent book you started/bought? (mines vol. 1 of beastars, super excited to start it!) what is some of your favourite media? (shows, books, movies, etc) and whats your favourite animal? mine are axolotls :3

your truly, 🐌.

HI 🐌 ANON I ALSO HAVE A CAT NAMED JINX!!!! HELLO...... she's a black cat with a little white spot on her chest and is the sweetest cat in my house <3 and none of you ever have to apologize for sending long asks! they're always welcome.

for me, if you want the most honest answer to the most recent books i bought... the two most recent books i bought were The Reason I Jump: The Inner Voice of a Thirteen-Year-Old Boy With Autism and Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By In America for my ap english class AJDKCHKSSGJF but for a more fandom-y answer, i recently bought volume 2 of spyxfamily.

some media(s) i really enjoy. hmmm. to be honest, i haven't recently had the patience or attention span to watch a lot of new shows or read new books. so i don't have a good answer LMAO

and as for my favorite animal, i like cheetahs a lot!!!! they are so fucked over by nature and it makes me so sad sometimes. but i also like snakes, i think they're all so cool.... vipers are all so pretty. so dangerous, but so pretty. ball pythons have the cutest little faces and i cannot wait to get one of my own. i like a lot of animals i think!!!!! but those are two of the notable ones.

[illicitlimerence-writes]

superheroes and flat caps | m. verstappen

pairing: max verstappen x singer!actress!reader word count: 9.4k words (i'm not sorry) request: yes, by anons: “hi babes, can i request a max v piece where you two met in monaco 2021 and you hit it off and became best friends and then started dating in december after he won the championship and your relationship wasn't public but there were speculations (reader is a famous singer and actress) and then miami gp 2022 after his win max just kisses the reader and thus outs them? 🥺” & “how about a fic of being best friends with max but he has such a soft spot for the reader and they pretty much act like a couple? 🥺” & “helloo! could i maybe request a fic where max is teaching the reader how to drive a manual. like it would just be super cute and fluffyyy. also, i really love your workss ❤️” & “hi can i request something where reader has a really bad panic attack and no one can help her calm down but max? warnings: this is really freaking long and i haven't slept in like 24 hours. not proofread bc i really wanted to post this rn. language, time skips, mentions of j*s verstappen, h*rner, m*rko. drinking(legal), idk what else. a/n: well that was an interesting weekend.

my masterlist

(post-race max supremacy)

may 20th, 2021.

the first time she set foot in monaco, she didn’t know what to expect. she’d been invited to the f1 race weekend in monte carlo, which was both nerve-wracking and exciting at the same time. she was new to all the glitz and glamour of fame, and she only had what she’d seen in movies as reference to how monaco was.

she had the vip pass hanging from her neck, since she hadn’t been invited by a team specifically, she was free to roam around wherever she wanted to, which was nice, but at the same time, she didn’t have one specific spot that she could claim as hers. she was walking through the paddock, spotting many a-list celebrities, most of them probably didn’t even know who she was, but her fans did recognize her.

“hi, can we take a picture with you?” two girls about her age stopped her, she smiled and nodded.

“of course!” she grinned at the camera waving at the girls as they left, she took a step back, stumbling into a person passing by, “oh, god, i’m so sorry!” she apologized quickly, seeing a guy wearing a red bull polo and cap, she recognized him, it was the red bull racing star, max verstappen. “sorry, i didn’t look where i was-”

“it’s okay, don’t worry,” he gave her a small smile, she felt her cheeks heat under his stare, “are you lost?” he asked.

“uh, i actually don’t have anywhere to go, i don’t really know where i’m supposed to be,” she chuckled, feeling a small knot of nerves in her stomach. “i wasn’t invited by a team and it’s my first time here and-” she took a deep breath, “and now i’m rambling and wasting your time, i’ll find my way eventually, don’t wo-”

“you can come with me if you want,” he offered.

“oh no, i’m sure i’ll be fine,” she shook her head, taking a step back, accidentally colliding with another person, “sorry!” she apologized again, feeling more embarrassed than ever.

“really, i think it will be better for the whole paddock if you crashed in the red bull garage,” he chuckled. she covered her face with her hands, laughing lightly, “come on, we don’t bite,” he winked at her, she nodded after a few seconds, a small smile on her face.

“are you allowed to bring in strangers to the garage, though?” she asked.

“well, you’re not a stranger, everyone here knows who you are!” he smiled.

“wha- you do?” 

“of course! one of my best mates is a huge marvel nerd and he made me watch the show you’re in,” he laughed. “i liked it, didn’t understand much of it, but i enjoyed it. and your character, you were my favorite,” he nodded, and the heat in her cheeks intensified.

“thank you, i wasn’t too sure if the public would like me, or the character, but-”

“are you kidding? you were the best part of the show. i didn’t really connect with the story at first. the whole, switching decades and references to old sitcoms was neat and all, but there was something missing, i was about to change and put another show or film but when i saw your face on the screen i just knew things were about to get interesting,” she was left speechless, then a huge grin formed slowly on her lips.

“thank you,” she said, biting her lip as she felt a funny feeling in her stomach. they reached the red bull hospitality, he let her in first, her eyes went a little wide as she saw everything. “this is nice,” she said.

“yeah, much better than anything else you could find out there,” he winked, again. she laughed, nodding.

“maybe,” she said.

it was pretty early, and they still had a few hours left before he had to prepare for the first practice session. he invited her to his driver’s room.

“you can wait there if you don’t want to be bothered by anyone while i’m gone,” he said, and it made her feel warm inside, that even though they had only just met he was already looking out for her. 

they talked about anything and everything they could think of, finding out they had more in common than they thought at first. her anxiety disappeared as she got to know max, it was like talking to an old friend. the jokes started mere minutes after they sat down next to each other.

she told him about her switch from singing to acting, a scary process that made her doubt her skills.

"i've only been doing this for a short time, it was risky because i could've lost everything i have, but i think it worked out in the end," she still couldn't believe how much her life had changed in just two years. her rise to fame came thanks to her music, but when she told her manager that she wanted to try acting as well, and the opportunity to be part of such an ambitious show like ‘wandavision’ was a once in a lifetime opportunity. plus, the character she performed was one that nobody really expected. a female version of an iconic character was something that raised eyebrows at first, "did you always know that racing is what you wanted to do?" she asked, 

"it's really not like i had any other choice, of course i enjoy doing it, and i have from a young age, but there was never really a plan b for me. i have been surrounded by this my entire life and it's what comes natural for me. i don’t really know what else i could do. but now we’re here, and i have a chance at winning the championship. that’s the goal,”

“is it your goal, though?” she asked, the words slipped out of her lips without thinking twice, and she only noticed what she’d said after she noticed that max didn’t reply for a few seconds. “i mean, are you really doing this for yourself, or because you feel like you have to do this to get your parents’ approval? but you obviously do have the passion and love for it, otherwise you wouldn’t be doing it.”

“no, you- you’re right,” he admitted, “of course, at first i was really influenced by my dad, especially, i wanted to make him proud, and hopefully achieve what he couldn’t, but it’s become my life now. it’s what i love, it’s what i want to do, now i’m doing this for me.”

“you don’t have to explain yourself to me, i didn’t-”

“no, no, you’re okay, haven’t had a deep talk like this with someone in a while.” he chuckled, she smiled. 

“so, what happens today?” she asked, crossing one leg over the other, she leaned back against the couch in his driver’s room.

“we have free practice 1 and 2 in a bit, with a few hours break between each. practice is when we learn the track, even if you’ve been here before you still need to see how this year’s car will perform, but you have to be careful with all the tight corners, you don’t want to mess up your car, especially tomorrow before qualifying,” he explained.

“that’s when you figure out which order you’re starting on sunday?” she asked, even though her knowledge of the sport wasn’t that vast, some of the things she’d researched stuck with her.

“yeah,” he nodded. “there’s still some time left before fp1, why don’t we go down there? i can show you around,” he offered.

“oh, no, i- i don’t want to- you should probably start getting ready and i don’t know, train? before you get in the car, and-”

“you ramble a lot,” he noticed, “it’s cute,” he smiled. again, she felt her cheeks getting warm. “here’s a thing about me, if i didn’t want to do something, i wouldn’t offer. so, come on,” he got up, offering his hand. she thought about it for a second, but smiled, placing her hand in his as she got up.

“but you have to tell me when you need to leave, okay? i might be new to this but i can also take care of myself. and, i don’t want to be the reason you don’t perform well today,” she followed him out of his room, walking down the stairs.

“you can just stay in the garage if you want to,” he shrugged his shoulders like it was nothing, “wait, you should wear this,” he said, taking off his cap and placing it on her head, “there. and if anything, your presence there will just be another reason for me to try my best.”

“i never thought you’d be a sweet talker,” she let out a chuckle as they reached the garage.

“there’s a lot of things no one knows about me, schat,” he raised his eyebrows, a big smile on his face.

“oh, we’re starting with the nicknames so soon? okay. i’ll come up with something for you, then,” she chuckled.

“i’m sure you will, quicksilver,” he said, she rolled her eyes. her character in ‘wandavision’ was a female version of pietro maximoff, from a different universe, it certainly caught people’s attention, especially with the presence of the other pietro already in the show.

“that could be your nickname, though. you know, because you go really fast in the car,” she explained, lifting an eyebrow.

“we’ll both be quicksilver, then,” max nodded, and so did she, “okay,”

“okay.” she agreed, “now, teach me your nerdy f1 ways,”

the media was so confused after that thursday. both she and max were approached separately during the whole weekend, asking if they knew each other from before, what their relationship was like.

it was refreshing to create a bond with someone new so easily. it truly felt like they’d known each other in their past lives. they got along from the moment she stumbled into him, they could bounce off the other’s jokes, they created a chaotic environment in the red bull garage, -a band that granted her access to the garage now secured around her wrist-, one they hadn’t seen since 2018 when daniel and max were still teammates.

when max was gone, though, she hid back in her shell. but with him next to her, she didn’t care who was watching, he brought out the best of her.

may 22th, 2021.

he’d explained the day before how much he wanted to get a podium in monaco, it was his home now, and since starting his f1 career he’d never had the chance to step on the podium.

“your time will come, you just have to be careful,” she told him before the saturday qualifying session. “i’m sure it’ll come eventually. maybe even tomorrow, but you know you’ll have more chances here,” she reminded him, he nodded his head.

“i don’t know why i’m surprised that you’re good with speeches, you basically write poems for a living,”

“i know, i know, i’m the best,” she batted her eyelashes, making him laugh and throw an arm around her shoulders.

“it’s insane that we only met yesterday,” he said.

“i know. i’m not complaining, though,” she chuckled.

“yeah, me neither,” he let out a deep breath. “weekends will be boring from now on, without you here,”

“aw, but haven’t you heard that distance makes the heart grow fonder?” she teased, taking max’s cap from a nearby chair and putting it on.

“that’s bullshit, distance only creates issues.” he scoffed, she frowned. 

“you really think so?” she asked, throwing her legs over his lap, her back against the arm of the couch.

“it’s what i’ve experienced,” he said, his voice low. she noticed him tensing as he spoke, so she didn’t pry anymore.

“well, maybe it won’t be like that this time,” she smiled at him. he turned his head to look at her, to her hopeful eyes, and he couldn’t help but smile at her, too. he even felt his cheeks flushing. 

“thirty minutes, max!” the knock and call from outside of his driver’s room startled them both, she started laughing at her own reaction, to avoid embarrassment. 

“i have to get ready,” he said, patting her knee and lifting her legs as he got up, only to place them back down on his couch. he walked to a small closet where he kept his fireproof undershirt and pants, he took them out and placed it on the massage table set against the wall. without muttering a word, he started taking off his shirt.

“whoa! a little warning, please!” she covered her eyes with her hands, hearing his laugh.

“oh, come on, it’s not that big of a deal,”

“well, let me tell you, mr. verstappen, that guys usually take me out on a couple of dates before i see them shirtless,” she stood up, peeking from behind her fingers, seeing his naked back toward her. she walked to him and slapped his head, snickering as she heard a loud ‘ow!’ from the dutchman. “perv,” she smiled, walking to the door.

“are you mad?” he asked, she turned to look at him, opening the door. she shook her head side to side, the same grin on both of their faces. “hope you enjoyed the show!” he said as she took a step out of his room, his fireproof undershirt in his hands.

“quali is supposed to be the show, max! i’ll be in the garage, magic mike,” with that she shut the door, she heard max’s loud laugh, a small chuckle left her lips as she felt her cheeks warm. that seemed to be the permanent state of her face when she was around max. 

-

may 23rd, 2021.

“what are you doing?” max asked, she had her hands on his shoulders, her eyes closed.

“i’m passing all my quicksilver superpowers to you,” she replied, a small smile on her face. she’d noticed he was quite nervous before the race, and she wanted to show her support for her new friend.

“you do know that’s just in the show, right?” he asked, amusement clear in his voice. she peeked one eye open, seeing a big grin on his face. she patted herself on the back mentally, it was working.

“shut up, do you want the powers or not?” she asked, raising an eyebrow as she stayed with shut eyes.

“fine,” he said.

-

she felt nervous as she walked alongside the red bull team to the podium. she didn’t really know anyone, but max had asked for her presence.

‘if i get a podium, no matter where i finish, i’d like to see you there.’ he told her before the race started. she felt the same funny feeling from friday in her stomach. she only nodded her head, letting him get back to his pre-race training.

and not only had he scored his first monaco podium, but he’d also won the race. the mechanics noticed her, and parted so she could squeeze her way through, so she was now against the barriers. she watched as max parked the car in front of the ‘1’ board, he turned off the car and took out the steering wheel so he could get out, placing it back after he got up.

the loud cheers from the people around her made her smile, she found herself doing the same. max congratulated the other two podium finishers, and finally, he made his way to his team. he jumped and they held him up, clapping his back, his helmet, his arms. even his butt. she laughed, watching as he took his helmet off, walking to her.

“i don’t want to say the powers worked, but…” she didn’t get to finish her sentence, as max wrapped his arms around her frame and pulled her as close to him as possible. she hugged him, hiding her face in his neck.

“thank you for your superpowers, quicksilver,” he said. she felt his breath on her ear, he sounded sincere. “thanks to you i won the race today,” she felt small tears in her eyes as she heard his words.

“no, you did all this by yourself, max.” she said, and max leaned back. he noticed the small tears in her eyes. “but you can keep the superpowers for as long as you need them,” she smiled, unwrapping his arms from him, letting him go to his post-race interviews and podium celebrations. he tapped the cap she was wearing, she winked at him.

-

june 24th, 2021.

“what do you mean you don’t know how to drive?” max asked, she rolled her eyes.

“manual. i don’t know how to drive a manual,” she corrected, kicking him.

“well you’re lucky your best friend drives for a living,” max said, standing up and offering his hand.

“aw, so you’ll be my chauffeur from now on?” she teased, smiling. 

“i already am and don’t even get paid,” he shook his head, grabbing her hand and lifting her back from her bed. “i’m teaching you how to drive,” he declared.

“no, max, i’m fine with only knowing automatic,” she protested, but max was already walking to her luggage and grabbing a pair of shoes for her. 

“you never know when you’ll need it,” he said, kneeling in front of her as he helped her put on her shoes, “come on, cinderella,” he picked her up by the waist and started walking with her in his arms.

“put me down!” she laughed, “where are you even going to teach me how to drive?” he put her down, and gave her a stern look. “oh, no! no, we’re not going to-”

-

“are you ready?” max asked, they both had helmets on, she had a frown on her face.

“i hate you,” she whispered, turning on the car. she was aware of the cameras set up all over the car, recording everything they said or did. “go on,” she took a deep breath.

“hey, we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. i know it’s probably too late, but you can still back out, or i can go first,” 

“no, you were right, i have to learn at some point. and i guess you’re the best teacher anyone could ask for,” she replied. max was looking at her, and there was something in his eyes, something she hadn’t seen before. like a sparkle, a gleam. 

“i’m glad you feel that way,” he smiled. “ready?” he asked, she nodded, smiling at the camera. “hello, guys. max here, and today i’m joined by my friend, (y/n) (y/l/n),” he pointed at her, she waved to the camera, smiling. “we are here in austria, on the red bull ring track, because today i will be teaching (y/n) how to drive.”

“a manual!” she clarified, throwing him a dirty look, “i do know how to drive automatic, but this dork insists that i need to learn how to drive a manual as well. so here we are, pleasing the diva,” max rolled her eyes at his words.

“anyway, hope you guys enjoy. and pray for me,”

“shut up!” she laughed, slapping his arm.

it was already nerve-wracking enough to be driving with a literal professional racing driver next to her, but add to that the fact that they were in an f1 track, with dozens of people watching. she was nervous, and he could see that.

“so we’ll start slow, there’s really not much of a difference, you just need to coordinate the gear change and your feet.” he explained.

max was, surprisingly, a really great teacher. she didn’t know if it was because she was the student, but soon enough she found herself speeding on the main straight.

“brake, slowly, and switch,” he said a few seconds before she had to do it, so she had enough time to react and not screw up the beautiful honda car they were lent.

“am i doing it?” she asked, thinking out loud.

“you are, look at you!” max smiled, tapping the hand she had wrapped around the stick shift. “and you said you didn’t want to learn,” he turned to look at her, seeing an adorable frown between her brows, what he’d deemed as her concentration face.

“max, i’m driving a manual!” she squealed, her eyes flicking between the road ahead and her best friend sitting next to her.

“i told you, you could do it, schatje,” the nickname slipped from his lips easily, she’d taken a liking to the word since the first time she heard it. she liked it when she heard him say it, specifically. “there you go, keep going. if you can handle the curves you’ve got it,” he continued telling her what to do, and soon enough they finished their first lap. there was an excited smile on her face, and a proud look on his. “you’ve got it,” he clapped his hands as they approached the spot where they had started. 

“that was really fun,” she had both hands on the wheel now, gripping so tight that her knuckles were turning white. “i feel like my heart’s coming out of my chest,” she chuckled, placing a hand on her chest. “thank you,” she smiled, her cheeks hurting.

“you might give me a run for my money,” he leaned his head, covered by the helmet, against the headrest, face turned her way. she chuckled as she did the same. they both stayed quiet, the comfortable silence speaking louder than any words both of them could’ve said at that moment. the only thing they could hear were their deep breaths, “i have an idea, let’s switch,” max said, unbuckling his seatbelt and running to the other side of the car. he opened the door for her, helping her out, “are you ready for your own hot laps experience?” he told her, her eyes widened.

“are we allowed?” she whispered, he bumped his helmet against hers. they were both wearing the same design, the same as his racing helmet.

“who cares?” he asked. she smiled at him, standing on her tiptoes and pressing a quick kiss to his cheek before rushing to where max was sitting before. they buckled their seatbelts, twin mischievous grins on their faces as they watch the confused stares from people outside. photographers, people from media outlets, the red bull marketing team. “ready?”

“let’s go, quicksilver,” she smiled, she hadn’t called him that in a few weeks. her back was flat against the seat, she bit her lip as she tried to contain an excited squeal.

“don’t hold back, schatje, let it out,” he said, looking at her from the corner of his eye. she shook her head slightly, and max chuckled, going even faster. and this time, she did let out a loud laugh.

“you’re going too fast!”

“you want me to slow down?” he asked between his own chuckles.

“no!” she continued laughing. “i trust you,”

-

august 14th, 2021.

she furrowed her eyebrows as she locked her phone, tossing it inside her bag. she hadn’t received a text from max since the day before, and she was starting to worry. everytime they were apart for more than two weeks, she thought back to what he said the day after they met, about distance only screwing things up.

they hadn’t seen each other in almost two months. after the first weekend in austria she had to fly back to atlanta to film a movie. her first marvel movie. max had been so excited when he found out that they’d added her character at the last minute, changing the original script to feature her. 

june 30th, 2021.

“i have to leave tomorrow,” she said, and his face fell. “i’m sorry, i know i promised to be here for the two races here, but i-”

“it’s okay, you can’t turn this down, i understand.” he gave her a small smile, but he barely lifted the corners of his lips. 

“i feel bad,” she pouted, and max wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

“don’t. this is something that we have to celebrate,” he pushed aside his feelings, he had to be a good best friend for her, just like she’d done many times for him. “we should go out," he said.

"out, where?" she asked.

"to party, you're going to be in your first major film. i can call some of the guys and tell them to meet us in a club or something," max pulled out his phone, he started scrolling through his contacts, she placed her hands on his.

"i don't need anyone else," she said, "i will have as much fun just with you then with a hundred people. i don't care how many celebrities, fans, or people in general are there to celebrate my accomplishments if you're not there."

the next morning, she woke up with a pounding headache and an arm around her waist. a strong chest was rising up and down, pressed against her back. she tried to turn around, but stopped once she felt someone breathing on her neck. she looked down, recognizing the hand that was holding her back.

she wanted to smile, to voice out the feelings inside her chest as she saw max cuddling her in his sleep. instead, she swallowed, pushing the feelings aside. carefully, he removed his arm from her, replacing her body with a pillow that he could hold on to. she checked the time, it was still early. once she heard max snoring lightly again, she stepped in the shower of her hotel room, she didn’t wash her hair to save time. she changed into sweats and a hoodie. she would’ve picked one of his hoodies, but he usually didn’t wear them. instead, she picked up one of his caps, adjusting the strap in the back and putting it on.

max woke up to an empty bedroom about two hours later, a text waiting for him.

‘had to run! thank you for last night, i had so much fun. good luck on your race, quicksilver!’

-

she landed in atlanta about 18 hours later, after a layover in london. she was exhausted, the entire flight she could only think about max. about the way they danced like no one was watching them, as if they were the only people in the world. she thought about the way he stared at every guy who even thought about looking her way, sending them a death stare that kept them away. she thanked him by brushing his hair away from his face, placing her hand on his cheek and rubbing it softly.

she arrived in her hotel, seeing her agent waiting for her there.

“i’ve been trying to call you,” was the first thing he said. she frowned.

“my phone died on my way here,” she pulled out her phone, seeing the black screen, “why? what happened?” she asked. her agent shook his head, handing her a black card.

“here’s your room key, 20th floor, room 33. get some rest, rehearsals start tomorrow. and please, don’t stay awake too late, the walls here are thin,” he said before walking away. now she was really confused. she stepped in the elevator, pushing the button for the 20th floor. after the doors opened, she looked for the door with the number 33 on it. she sighed, thinking about max again.

she didn’t expect to find the lights of her hotel room on. and she didn’t expect to hear someone talking.

“i know. i will be there in time, i promise.” she must’ve been hallucinating. he couldn’t- “yes, christian, i know. i will be in the car by the time fp1 comes around, that’s the only thing that matters,”

“max?” she asked, eyes wide.

“i have to go.” he hung up, cutting his boss off mid-sentence.

“wh-what are you doing here?” she asked. she still couldn’t believe he was there.

“you left. and you didn’t say goodbye,” he answered, walking to her. “so i came here,”

“ho-how did you even get here faster than me?” she furrowed her eyebrows once he was standing in front of her.

“private jet. which, you could’ve used if you had woken me up instead of leaving like that,”

“i-i had to leave,” she answered. 

“but why did you leave like that? are you mad at me? did i do something?”

“no, no. i just… i don’t know, i didn’t want to bother-”

“you never bother me. you’re my best friend, sure, you’re annoying sometimes, but you could never bother me,”

she smiled, a real smile. her eyes scanned his face, seeing nothing but honesty in his eyes.

“you flew to the other side of the world just to say goodbye,” she pointed out, taking a step toward him.

“i had to get my cap back,” he said, she could see his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. she didn’t buy his words.

 “how many girls have you done that for?” she lifted an eyebrow, leaning her weight on one leg.

“none. only you,” he replied without missing a beat. “you should know by now, there are things i can do only for you.”

“lucky me,” she smiled. and this time, she couldn’t ignore the feeling in her stomach, that was now traveling to her chest as well.

she thought about the last time she saw max. when he flew across the globe just to see her and wish her good luck on her new project. she bit her bottom lip as she tried to hold back a grin. she really wanted to see him again. but he was on holidays, and with his tight, hectic schedule, he had to take every opportunity he was given to rest and focus on the next half of his season.

his last race before summer break was not one he wanted to remember. she wanted to be there for him, but her schedule just didn’t allow it. she was afraid that max’s thoughts about distance were coming true.

she heard a knock on the door of her trailer. her fifteen minutes were up. she adjusted her costume, getting ready to shoot the next few scenes. she walked a few meters to set, seeing the blue and green screens where the locations would be added later. she watched in silence as two of her co-stars were wrapping up a scene. she walked to where her designated chair, was, but found someone sitting on it.

“hey, i think you have the wrong chair,” she whispered, tapping the person on the shoulder. “max!” she whisper-yelled, aware that she couldn’t be too loud or the mics would catch her words. “what are you doing here?! you didn’t answer my texts and- and you’re supposed to be in croatia!” she said, taking his hand and leading him to the back, where they could talk freely without the chances of their conversation ruining the shot.

“i missed you. and i had this week off, so, i flew here,” he shrugged his shoulders.

“god, i missed you too. come here,” she wrapped her arms around his neck, his hands went to her waist, pulling her close, being careful with her costume. “i can’t believe you’ve surprised me here twice,” she laughed, burying her face in his chest, she inhaled, the scent of his cologne registering again, she’d almost forgotten what it smelled like.

“and i’ll do it more and more if it means seeing that happy look on your face,” he tapped her nose, making her giggle softly. “look at you, quicksilver, you clean up nicely.”

“thank you, thank you,” she twirled, allowing him to see the whole outfit. 

“i brought my cap but i think everyone will kill me if i ruin your look,” they both laughed.

“you’re just in time to see one of my big scenes! come on, let me introduce you to everyone,” she grabbed his hand, dragging him as she led him to the set, where they were setting everything up for the next scene. “how did you even get in here?” she asked, lacing her fingers between his.

“mark,” he answered. of course, her agent.

“oh! did i ever tell you that he thought we were dating?” she said, and max’s heart skipped a bit.

“wh-what?” he asked. she smiled, nodding.

“yeah, remember when you first came here? he told me to watch out for the thin walls of the room, his room was next to mine, and he thought we would… you know,” she felt her cheeks blushing as she thought about what everyone else must think when they see her and max together. 

“oh,” max said, swallowing nothing again.

she had to bite her tongue to avoid saying something else, he clearly was uncomfortable with the idea of them being together. it was clear.

december 4th, 2021.

her nails were long gone. she had a lump in her throat each time she watched max approach a corner, which in this track, was almost every second. the second she saw the track layout, she knew that this wasn’t a safe circuit. she’d tried to voice this thoughts to max, but he shrugged and just said that there was nothing he could do about it.

“i’m not asking you to rebuild the circuit, i’m asking you to be careful.” she snapped at him. they were in the garage, he was about to go out for the qualifying session, and the crash from earlier had left her a little shaken up.

“i will be fine, why are you worrying? you’re never like this,” he furrowed his eyebrows.

“just… be careful, okay? the real work is tomorrow. don’t push the car too hard,”

“that’s exactly what i have to do,” he answered, putting on his white balaclava. “that’s how quali works,”

“on a different track, one that you know, maybe. not here. the position you start in won’t matter if you don’t even start.”

he wanted to ask her why she was telling him this, but was ushered to the car as lights were about to go green.

it was hard watching him be so pissed at himself. she hated being right about this. but she knew max, she knew that he could be impulsive, letting his instincts get the best of him. she had a feeling he would push to the limit to get that pole position. instead, he couldn’t even finish what could’ve otherwise been one of the greatest qualifying laps in history. 

it took a while before she could actually see him after the session. everyone could see that he was bitter about his failed lap. she was waiting for him in his driver’s room, her leg bouncing up and down as she thought about a good speech to tell him.

the door opening startled her. max’s hair was still sweaty, his fireproof clinging to his skin. he started removing it, and she dropped her gaze to the floor.

“are you happy?” he said. she frowned, looking up.

“what?”

“your little speech, you got in my head and i didn’t perform my best,” his words were short, stern.

“you’re saying it’s my fault? max, i literally warned you, i was looking after you,” she stood up, walking to him.

“get out,” he said.

“what?” she asked, her heart pounding. she tried to meet his eyes, but he refused to look at her.

“get out, i- i don’t want to see you right now.”

“max, what’s going on with you? are you listening to yourself?”

“yes, i know what i am saying. i don’t want you here. not tomorrow, or next week.”

she gasped, the air stuck in her throat.

“you’re just a distraction,” he finished. he turned his back to her, placing his hands on the massage table. for once, she was glad he couldn’t see her, or the tears that were threatening to spill from her eyes. she grabbed her bag, knowing it was useless to try and reason with him when he was like this. “i need my cap back,” he told her. she took a deep breath, removing the hat from her head and throwing it on the floor.

“this isn’t you,” she said as she opened the door, closing it behind her as she saw him turning around.

december 5th, 2021.

she was in her hotel room, watching the race happening only a few kilometers away. she wanted to be there, she wanted to be the first person max saw as he stepped out of the car, but she didn’t know how he was feeling. 

of course she was feeling hurt, but deep down, she knew that he didn’t mean his words from yesterday, she knew those weren’t his words. she had experienced a plethora of different max moods during race weekends, but this was different. he had never been this close to winning a championship even with one race to go. every other race looked like child’s play compared to this. the pression was on him, by his team, by himself, and by his family.

she’d tried many times to convince him that it wouldn’t be the end of the world if he didn’t get it that year, but he would always say that ‘this was his year’.

it was horrible not being able to be in the paddock. she hadn’t been able to sleep all night, and she’d spent the entire day locked in her hotel room, watching through her window as the track began filling with fans, she could hear the rumble of the engines, the roar from the crowds. she didn’t have any nails left, so she grabbed a red bull cap she found amongst her stuff and started playing with the velcro strap to deal with her nerves and anxiety. she knew it probably wouldn’t work afterward, but it was everything she could do.

seeing him standing on the podium, faking a smile, knowing that he didn’t have anyone to hear him out, hear his real thoughts, the ones only she had the privilege to hear, broke her heart. the next race would be great for the fans, but it would take a great toll on max’s mind.

she saw his face on the tv, she could see the dark circles under his eyes, the exhausted look on his face. she wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around him, make him hide his face in the crook of her neck, and whisper that everything would be okay. that she was proud of him no matter what, that she loved him more than anything else in the world.

instead, she fell asleep on a cold bed, with no one by her side.

december 12th, 2021.

it was like being in monaco all over again. she had nowhere to go. she knew that if she stepped in the red bull hospitality or garage they wouldn’t kick her out, but she also knew that max didn’t want to see her. it was two hours until lights out, and the drivers were doing their usual ‘class of 2021’ picture before stepping onto a bus to take a few laps around the track for the drivers’ parade. 

this time, she was on top of the garages, she could see the pitlane from her spot. she heard the mercedes drivers being interviewed, could see what the cameras were recording on one of the screens stuck to the wall. the drivers as well, they could see the same broadcast.

it was now max’s turn to be interviewed, he smiled as he waved at the fans, he was distracted by the sudden cheer from the crowd.

“she’s back,” he heard from behind him, pausing his answer to look at the big screens. he gasped, clearing his throat to pretend that everything was alright. the rest of the drivers had gotten used to seeing her around, it was weird for everyone when they saw her on friday and saturday, but missed the race.

she frowned as he heard max stumbling on his words, the small truck was passing by the main straight, below from where she was. she was standing up, her hands against the concrete wall that reached up to her waist. she turned her head to one of the screens. it was like a chain, she saw max looking at her in one of the screens. the delay made it obvious to everyone that she was the reason he reacted that way.

she had to get out of there. she turned around just as the truck was stopping, the drivers rushing out of there in a hurry. she squeezed past other celebrities, trying to make herself as small as she could to go by unnoticed. she tried to hide her face behind the cap she was wearing. the only one she could find was a generic red bull cap, it didn’t feel like the one she was used to wear. his. max’s.

she made her way down the stairs, walking the opposite way from the rest of the crowd. she kept her head down, but had to look up when suddenly everyone was moving out of her way, making a free path for her. 

max was walking toward her, people were actively stepping aside to let him through. she turned back around and started walking away, but stopped when she felt a hand grabbing her arm. she tried yanking her arm away from his grip.

“stop, stop. you’re going to hurt yourself,” he said.

“then just let me go,” she replied.

“come here,” he started guiding her to the red bull hospitality.

“max,”

“i just want to talk. please,”

“are you sure i’m not just a distraction? you should probably be getting ready for the race, i wouldn’t want to be the reason you lose the championship.” it hurt to say those words, her heart broke at the sight of visible pain on his face.

“i- i didn’t mean that. just, please, come with me.” he pleaded.

“you have ten minutes,” she said. he dropped his hand down to grab hers, lacing his fingers with hers so they wouldn’t get separated by the crowd of people in the paddock. thankfully, the hospitality was nearly empty, everyone was in too much of a frenzy out in the garage to really pay attention to what was going on back there. once they were in the privacy of his driver’s room, max immediately wrapped his arms around her entire frame, holding her close to his chest. her arms stayed by her sides, even though her hands were practically aching to hug him.

“i’m so sorry for what i said last week. i didn’t mean any of that. you were right, it wasn’t me.” he said. “i was… i let my dad, and horner, and marko get in my head. but it’s not true. you’re not a distraction, since that weekend in monaco you’re one of the reasons i do this. the best part of every race, no matter where i end up, is stepping out of the car and seeing you waiting for me. your presence, your… friendship,” he took a deep breath as he said that word, “means more to me than any championship, any trophy. in truth, the biggest accomplishment of my year is having you by my side.” he spoke fast, it didn’t sound rehearsed, he voiced every thought that came to his head. “last week in jeddah, and this whole week, i’ve not been myself. i can’t be myself without you.”

“this week has been hell,” she said.

“i am so sorry for putting you through that, i promise i-” she placed a hand on his chest, he paused.

“seeing you, without focus, your mind somewhere else, trying to prove to everyone that you’re worthy when you’ve already done that hundreds of times before, that was hell. max, you’re human, you’re allowed to have emotions, to have good days or bad days, you’re not a machine. you’re not programmed to win, no matter how many races you take part in, how many trophies you have. that’s the thing about life, every day is a new chance to do what you want to, your life will not end if you don’t win a race, or a championship. you have more chances.”

“i know.” he whispered. “but this is what i’ve been working for my entire life.”

“but is your life going to end if you don’t win? no. if you keep acting like you did last week, if you let toxic people manipulate you, turn you into something you’re not, the only thing that will happen is that you’ll push everyone away.” she could feel his hands tightening their grip on her waist at the thought of her leaving again. “i’m here to stay.”

“you’re all i need.” he pressed his forehead against hers, her eyes flew down to his lips. he noticed. he leaned closer, his nose brushing against hers.

“max,” she said, “we’re friends. best friends,”

“of course,” he leaned back a little. “the best friend i could ask for,” he said, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

“i love you,” she said. “as a friend,” her voice was shaky.

“of course. i love you as a friend, too,”

“good. now, we have a championship to win,” she patted his chest twice, making him smile.

“what happened to the speech you just-”

“the fact that you have many other chances doesn’t mean you won’t fight your hardest to win this one,” she reminded him.

“come down with me? the garage feels empty without you.” he told her. she nodded.

“of course, i missed the thrill and the noise, watching on tv is just not the same,”

“i’m sorry,” he said, she shook her head.

“don’t apologize. i’m here now, we’re here now. let’s go, they must be looking for you. i’m sure horner will kill me once he sees us walking in.”

“i’ll fight him,” max said, walking to a desk, he opened a drawer and pulled out a cap. her cap, he always made sure it was the same one. the one with his name written inside with a sharpie. he took off the cap she was wearing, placing it on the desk before putting her cap on. “there,”

“much better,” she smiled.

december 13th, 2021.

she was wearing a black shirt with a design in white and gold, stating that max was the world champion. she was tossing and turning on her hotel bed, still buzzing with adrenaline from the previous celebrations. she hadn’t drunk that much in a long time, but it was the perfect occasion to party as much as she wanted to.

max was finally a world champion.

she smiled everytime she thought about it, she got teary eyed when she replayed the moment he stepped out of the car and ran straight to her hugging the life out of her as he thanked her for everything she’d done for him.

she loved him. perhaps, she loved him from the moment he ran into him that weekend in monaco. but she couldn’t risk it. one week without him had been hell, if her feelings were one sided and things ended badly, she didn’t know if she could survive without him in her life.

she groaned, kicking the covers off with her legs. she sat up, grabbing her phone and scrolling through the pictures and videos she’d taken that night. max and her pouring each other shots, seeing who could drink them faster. her licking the salt from his neck, taking the lime from his lips. him doing the same, the feeling of her tongue against her throat was one she would never forget. her stomach turned, knowing that it was only because they were drunk. 

being in love with your best friend sucks.

‘i love you like a best friend’ she thought back to her own words. coward.

she heard a knock on her door, it startled her at first, she checked the time. 4:38am. the person knocked again, she got out of bed and walked to the door, seeing a familiar head of dirty blonde hair on the other side.

“max, what’s-”

“i love you,” he blurted out. “i love you, and… not like a best friend. i don’t want you like a best friend, i want more,”

her breath got stuck in her throat, she couldn’t speak.

“i’ve had this feeling in my hands, since i let go of your hands when i was putting on my gloves, they haven’t stopped shaking, it’s like i can’t control them and…”

he lifted his hands, and she could see what he meant, slowly, she placed her hands in his. lacing her fingers with his, and the shaking stopped.

they didn’t speak anymore, they let their actions speak for them. she took a step closer, he leaned his head down. she stood on her tipoes, he closed his eyes. her eyes shut on their own accord, he parted his lips. they kissed, and it was like the piece that had been missing was finally found. two halves made a whole, two hearts became one, a friendship turned into something more.

may 2nd, 2022.

she walked the red carpet with max by her side. to everyone else, they were still just friends, although on evey interview they were asked the same question, they both always answered the same.

‘she/he’s my best friend.’

which, technically, wasn’t a lie.

she was extremely nervous that day, people were asking her what she was doing there, since her part was a complete secret. 

she was doing an interview with two of her co-stars, xochitl and benedict wong, she had to pretend it was her first time meeting them, since they didn’t appear on her show. max was standing by the side, watching her.

“i don’t know, they invited me and we were already here for the grand prix so we came,” she said. max noticed how she only lifted one corner of her lips to smile, a sign that she was nervous, she was about to slip.

“so, do you know what the future of your character is? we were left in a cliffhanger after the end of the show, are there any plans for future projects?”

“umm, i- i’m not sure, i-” she didn’t know what else to say, she looked to her castmates, silently begging for help, but they were unaware of her inside struggles. she hadn’t had that much preparation on this type of interviews, and she didn’t want to screw this up.

“can i just say something?” max said, popping his head and walking into frame before anyone could complain, “i personally don’t know what the future of her character is, but i just think that she’s an amazing actress who did an incredible job on that show, and both she and the character deserve to be part of this cinematic world. plus, look at her, she could act as a rock and it would still be oscar-worthy,” he finished. and she let out a shaky breath as he felt his hand on her back. 

“aw, you two are just the sweetest. are you sure there’s no sparks flying around between you? you just seem like you’re meant to be,” the interviewer said.

“the only sparks are the ones from my race car when i go over the curbs,” they both laughed, catching the interviewer a bit off guard.

once they were inside, she started breathing quickly.

“fuck, i think i screwed up. someone’s definitely going to notice,” she said, her fingers playing with the fabric of her dress. “fuck, i’m so fired, they’re never going to call me back, and-”

“hey, hey, stop. don’t say that,” max said, grabbing her hand. “no one will notice, and they won’t care. in my opinion, you should’ve just told the truth, show off your incredible work here, show them how much you deserve to be here,”

her chest was still rising up and down uncontrollably, and max wanted to kiss her lips, show her how much he loved her, that everything would be okay. but, they were still in public. so, he settled for a kiss on the cheek and a few words in her ear.

“i love you,” he whispered, “with all my being, in this life, all my past ones and those still to come. i love you, and i’m so proud of you,” he said before leaning back. “you will be fine, okay?”

“okay,” she repeated, he was holding her hand, with his thumb on top of the vein, he could feel her heartbeat slowing down to normal.

may 8th, 2022.

her eyes switched from one screen to the other, max had an amazing start on the race, making up one place on the opening lap. he’d been nervous that morning, having had limited time to understand and learn this new track. but his desire to win was there. it wasn’t too long until he reached the race leader, making brave, precise decisions at the right moment to maximize his winning opportunities. 

the safety car, as always, shook up the race a little, with the top four being closer than ever. but max was able to keep the lead, the issues he noticed in the car were quickly fixed with gp’s help, he knew to stay calm when necessary.

she had her cap on, even though the heat was unforgiving, she had to wear his cap. and she was tapping her nails against the desk area in front of her, under all the screens. she was incredibly proud of max, he had shown so much growth since the end of last season. of course, like everyone else, he still had some moments when the frustration often took the best of him, but he knew to take it easy, to let things go the way they’re supposed to.

long gone was her fear of walking alongside max’s mechanics and engineers, now she was just one of them. she was always given the spot closest to max. she was always the first person he hugged. she had the brightest smile on her face, this week had started good for her, and even though the weekend was tough for max, he managed to come out on top. 

max stepped out of the car, her loud cheers mixed in with the rest of the crowd. she clapped for him, a huge smile on her face as he stepped toward her. but, he went to his crew first. they pampered him in congratulations, as max took off his helmet. he shook hands and bumped fists with all of them, taking his sweet time to make his way to her. she had a small frown on her face, maybe he hadn’t seen her and that’s why we went with the others first.

no, he noticed her. finally, he made his way to her, placing his helmet on the floor and wrapping his arms around her waist, making her stand on her tiptoes.

“max,”

“i love you,” he said, leaning his head down and pressing his lips on hers. the crowd erupted in even louder cheers, she was shocked at first, but it only took her a second to melt into his touch.

“good race, champ. a little warning would’ve been nice,” she told him as he hugged her again, burying his face against her neck. one of her hands went to his hair. she loved his post-race hair. 

“come to the podium with me,” he said, she nodded. she would’ve agreed to anything at that moment.

as max was ushered to do post-race interviews, he tried his hardest to concentrate on the words leaving his lips, but he could only focus on her. she was glowing, shining brighter than the miami sun.

“yeah, my girlfriend and i have this inside joke, we pass each other the quicksilver powers, and she had them earlier this week, and now she gave them to me. i guess you could say that helped me win today,” max chuckled, her cheeks were hotter than the sun. as soon as he finished, he walked back to her, the red bull crew helped her get through the barrier. the red bull media team were already waiting for them in a car that would take them to the podium on the other side of the track, since there was no space left, max sat first, patting his lap.

“your carriage awaits, quicksilver,” he joked, she rolled her eyes as she sat on his lap, feeling his hand on her thigh. he pressed a kiss to her cheek, she turned her head, her lips touching his again.

“i think we broke the internet this week,” she laughed.

“what a great end to a great week,” max kissed her again. she sighed against his lips, she would never get tired of his kiss.