ramble-monty-june

[ramble-monty-june]

there's nothing to worry ab because in the external world u literally cannot fucking win unless you let yourself win 😭

[ramble-monty-june]

why tf does my jaw clench so fucking much when i affirm in my head bro

[ramble-monty-june]

i've finally decided i have absolutely nothing i need to prove to her. nor will i listen to her say anything negative about me, or anyone who supports her, because i know who i am.

why didn't i take the trash out? i'm SO inconsiderate!

why did i leave *this part of smth* elsewhere?

you overbearing control freak! who's getting hurt by it? who cares?

and some more. like why do i take more time to myself than my kind of untidy surroundings. why do u always love to sit around the house doing nothing?

you clearly have different values than me, which are not my problem, whether you want to acknowledge it or not.

everything she says about me only says things about her.

[ramble-monty-june]

your humor cannot be at the expense of other people. 🙂

for a few examples…

you can't laugh at stuttering.

you can't laugh at jokes about child abuse.

you can't laugh about other races.

you can't laugh about being “mentally ill ���”.

[ramble-monty-june]

i did good for today =)

i affirmed + persisted with journalling all day at school, and continued at home until my hand just got tired. and the things sent to destroy my peace are nowhere to be found.

🩷

[ramble-monty-june]

once it's all over, it'll all be over. none of what you've experienced here will have happened. it will have still been worth it.

[ramble-monty-june]

the bad guys 2 is coming out.

guys.

*i couldn't even watch the first but if i did this is how i'd react*

how r we feeling

[ramble-monty-june]

Reblog if you would be comfortable living in a dormitory with an openly transgender or intersex individual. We’re working on a campaign for gender neutral housing and we could use your support.

[ramble-monty-june]

my cramps are actually not that bad right now.

but they're still there, i'm still on my period and i still shouldn't have to go anywhere for that, let alone school.

so i'll walk around whenever i can and gets the things i want done without shame.

[ramble-monty-june]

honesty, it’s going to be hard if there’s loads of inescapable triggers and distractions trauma music, etc. in my old story prison

so i’m “hoping” i can just write my affirmations or skim them through in my journal as a way to persist.

can that count as persisting?

[ramble-monty-june]

i keep going

i receive - pros:

self respect and autonomy

eventual booming self respect after the conversation about my human rights is over

independence and resilience. i give what i want to myself. i'm used to not getting what i want in the old story, so it no longer matters to me.

putting more focus and attention into the new story

FREEDOM, JUSTICE & YOUR FORMER ENSLAVERY EXPERIENCES RECOGNIZED

superhumanity and anything you want and deserve

all of your abusers are facing their sins, locked up or no longer have power and are outcasted, remembering you

you no longer have to think about them.

none of what happened from may on in the old story happened.

cons:

a potential hell in the old story along with potentially crumbling willpower and brazen impudence in persisting.

✨ they all think i'm crazy! but i don't care ✨

questioning of the LOA and/or if i'm persisting right if it starts to take forever

but hey, if i have my journals i'm all set.

i stop

i stay a legally enslaved person of adults

i no longer listen to my body or mind.

it stays hard to persist again, harder than if i were to keep going

nothing really changes

[ramble-monty-june]

guys honestly. i need help.

since i'm in the new story, i've decided i'm no longer submitting to its rules because why would i? it just doesn't benefit me at all.

but they don't care. and those monsters could make my life hell for prioritizing my peace, refusing to be a legal slave for adults and manifesting myself out of here.

if my affirming and persisting doesn't start working soon it could be over for me, but i sure as hell won't stop respecting myself.

i guess my mind is stronger than i think, but what's the use of it if it doesn't work out?

[ramble-monty-june]

acting like my true new story self in the old story has actually made me a little bit more confident 👍🏽

[ramble-monty-june]

fucking unconsciously gaslighting people trying to submit them back into your fucking corrupted reality and rules KNOWING they’re using the LOA is diabolical.

like tell me why i told my teachers about the LOA, aka the “cheat code” to life aka FREEDOM so that they wouldn’t be confused about me suddenly not doing work—and they tell the guidance who unconsciously force me to talk to them and basically say that they don’t give a FUCK that i’ve shifted out of this reality and it’s the only thing i’m focusing on, “i’m still gonna do my work and get good grades”

it’s actually kind of hilarious when you say it out loud

like, rent a brain man

[ramble-monty-june]

all the pain i’m feeling and experiencing here is change.

i am crushed grapes that don’t know they’re turning into wine.

[ramble-monty-june]

[ramble-monty-june]

what the hell is this helicopter above my neighborhood