#I apologize for the excessive self-praise

[luna-the-moth]

Mirror sex with Azul? Baby boy needs to learn to love himself 💜

AGREED. Sweet and soft sex has me so so weak and this kickstarted up a lot of worms in my head ,, , so i wrote a fic LOL. this was so lovely to write anon i lowkey felt possessed writing it ashdifu

18+ // gn! softdom! reader // sub! Azul with stretch marks and chub // body dysmorphia // self-directed fatphobia on Azul’s end // mirror sex // body worship // praise // eating (azul's) cum // handjob // “angelfish” used to refer to reader

WC: 1.3k

“In addition, it’s said to have a slimming effect that reduces the appearance of one’s, ah, excess,” Azul muses, thumbing through a catalog. “It seems like a good investment, does it not?”

You pause, turning to face him. 

“...your body isn’t ugly, Azul.”

“I didn’t say it was,” he retorts, the playfulness in his voice strained. 

“You didn’t say it explicitly, you mean,” you reply, taking the catalog from his hand and setting it down on the table gently but firmly, your other hand moving to cup his chin in your hand. He swallows and averts his gaze, hands settling on your waist, butterfly-light. 

“Apologies, Angelfish.”

You soften at that, running a thumb over his cheek before kissing him, drawing a finger down the front of his collar before lightly tugging at the first button. His grasp around your waist tightens.

“Let me know if you want me to stop at any point, ok?” 

He nods, a blush creeping up his cheeks and ears. You kiss him on the neck, smiling. 

Limbs entangled, the two of you stumble to the corner of the bed in front of a full-length mirror handcrafted in the Coral Sea. You let go for a moment to turn him around, spreading your legs, allowing him to settle against your chest. His body trembles, fingers grasped tight around the silk sheets underneath him as his head rests tentatively against your shoulder. His eyes are shut, unwilling, unable to look ahead and see what’s reflected.

His silk nightshirt is half unbuttoned, your hands having run up underneath them to play with his nipples. They pebble underneath your touch, and he whines as you tease and tug at them slightly, writhing in your grasp. Rubbing soothing circles over the soft fat of his thighs, you press a kiss to his earlobe.

“Are you comfortable, ‘Zul?”

“Yes,” he whines, one of his hands blindly reaching out to the back of your head. 

“Good.” You leave a gentle bite on his shoulder, running your tongue over it in apology as he lets out a shaky moan. The sight in the mirror makes you smirk, and you gently grasp his chin in your hand, turning him towards his reflection. 

“Look at yourself, Azul.”

Teary eyes snap open to meet your own in the mirror and he gasps.

Azul is a vision. His hair, meticulously styled, has loosened and become undone, the silky strands laying carelessly across his forehead. A hickey blooms across his collarbone, complemented by the pinkness of his blush. A faint trail of drool gleams from the corner of his lip.

But what stands out to him is well, him.

Azul took great pride in having maintained his figure, having come far from the “crybaby tako” of his youth, but he seldom took the time to look at the physical reminders of his former self. His usual attire gave him a slimming effect, at least to others. Nevertheless, there’s still a bit of chub on him— particularly on his thighs and stomach— despite his attempts to render it nonexistent. Lighting strikes of stark white run across his skin, and he whimpers as he realizes that you’re tracing them with your free hand.

He wanted to turn his head in embarrassment, in shame, yet he can’t quite look away. You’re looking at him from over his shoulder, the expression on your face nothing less than fond. 

“You’re being so good for me, Azul,” you purr, lavishing the side of his neck with kisses. “Do you see how beautiful you are?” A faint whine leaves his lips. He begins to squirm, but you shush him quietly, placing a soothing hand on his chest. 

“When I tell you I love you, I mean all of you. That includes these,” you bring a hand over his to trail over his stretch marks, “and these,” your other hand moves to gently hold his rolls, squishing the soft fat with emphasis. Your lips settle on his shoulder in a kiss. 

A faint sob wrenches itself from his chest and he turns his head towards you, tears beginning to trace the skin of his cheek. You raise your head and your lips meet his own tenderly, willing for your love and adoration of him to be transferred through your kiss. 

 The hand that had been stroking his stretch marks goes to the waistband of his underwear behind his pants, tugging the soft fabric downwards. He acquiesces to your silent request and raises his hips, letting the clothing slip to the floor. He shudders in pleasure as your nails drag lightly over his skin, reaching up to touch your chest.

You pull away with a hum. 

“Not tonight. I want the focus to be on you.”

He feels himself ache at your words. In the back of his mind he knows he’ll want to pay back the favor— he’s never quite gotten used to ones not meant to be returned— but all he can do in the moment is let out a faint moan of your name and bury his head in your shoulder, frustrated in his desire. 

You laugh at that, carefully prying him off of you with a few kisses as bribery. Facing the mirror again, Azul’s head goes fuzzy seeing his cock erect in want, pearls of pre-cum dripping off of the head. One of your hands has gone to idly tease his chest, rolling a nipple in between dexterous fingers as you watch his reaction. He gasps as your free hand wraps around him, your thumb circling the blushing red head of his cock.

Azul arches his back and whines as the fabric of his partially undone nightshirt brushes against his sensitive skin, his head leaning back against your shoulder. Your fingers have moved to wrap against his cock fully, running up and down his length as his hips stutter, and you press a kiss to his sweating forehead. Leaning back against the bed with one hand to stabilize yourself, you slowly grind against Azul’s backside, silk pressing against skin.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” you groan, throwing your head back for a moment as you bask in the feeling of his cock moving back and forth in your hand, the softness of his skin, and his panting breaths against your neck as he struggles to speak coherently. A sudden grasp on your thighs pulls you out of your reverie, and you look to see a visage as lovely as the Fairest Queen.

Azul’s flushed face meets your own, his skin shiny in sweat as he looks at you, eyes wide and pleading. His mouth is parted, pink tongue hanging out ever so slightly as drool turns his lips and chin glossy. He’s so, so beautiful. 

“Please…” He begs, nails scratching against your thighs.

You kiss him, then, moving to tighten your hold around his cock for a moment and the faint jerking motions of his hips stutter, his entire body shuddering in pleasure as he lets out whines of your name against your lips. The motions of your hand continue steadily, and you continue until he begins to hiss in overstimulation, hands clumsily batting your arm in protest. 

Once his breaths have evened out and his body has practically melted in pleasure, you reach the hand now covered in his spend up to your lips. It shimmers faintly in the dim lighting of Azul’s bedroom, and you clean it off of your fingers with relish, narrowing your eyes playfully at Azul when you catch him watching. 

“Let's get you cleaned up then, yeah?” You hum, gently petting his hair with your uncovered hand. He whines at that, burrowing his face into your neck, arms going to drape themselves around your shoulders. A petulant “no,” is murmured faintly against your skin, and you huff a laugh before holding him even closer to you. 

Cleaning up could wait, then. 

a/n: reblogs and comments appreciated <3 lmk if you would like to hear more!

[rottiens]

✮ tags. . sub!kamo chōsō + dom!reader, canon au, female bodied reader, no use of pronouns, established relationship, part of my 'teaching choso new things' saga, praising, dirty talk, aftercare, finger sucking, first time saying 'I love you', reader becomes self conscious and shy at the end, choso is deeply in love with you. divider creds: cafekitsune. wc: 2.6k

You think you are not worthy of the view you have right now. Your breathing becomes arrhythmic mimicking the odd beats of your heart and you think that if you don't blink enough or if you don't control the amount of oxygen rushing to your brain, you could pass out at any moment.

Your fingers get lost in the darkness of his hair, the texture is smooth and clean and slips easily under your fingers. choso's hair is loose because you had helped him wash it just an hour ago, the long strands which, you mentally note cutting when you are in a not-so-compromising position, obscures his gaze and casts a shadow on his face.

His eyes look at you like those of a puppy begging for the next cue, just like a pet longing to be rewarded. If you think your heart will break your rib cage at any moment, it is at times like this that Choso remembers that he has a heart, and that makes him feel closer to being a human, a heart that beats for something more vile than adrenaline in a fight.

With the help of your hands you guide him to where he wants to go, his dull eyes flee from yours only to catch a brief glimpse of your crotch. Just inches from your pussy he can almost taste you in his mouth, for a moment he closes his eyes and lets himself be rocked by the raw scent of sex.

He licks his dry lips, using his saliva as a lubricant for what he will do next. Through your underwear he places a kiss, just above your aching clit that tenses and throbs with the sudden attention. His eyebrows raise and his eyelashes flutter in your direction checking your actions once more.

Your mouth is open. Choso can see your red lips, punished by your pearly teeth, your upper lip catches the tip of your tongue covering the top two main upper teeth and he feels as if he is short of breath.

"You are ethereal," choso muses over the folds of your sex, unsure of what he is doing and yet certain of the reaction he seeks to detach from you.

Ethereal. He learned that word with you, as well as a hundred others you've taught them in the time you've known each other. From the first time he saw you, Choso knew it was love he felt for you. It's just that he wasn't sure of the word until he asked yuuji. It was love he felt for his brothers, for his family, but he didn't think it could also be called love the feeling you bring with you when you walk into the room, the way there doesn't seem to be enough oxygen and the excessive sweating.

You were intoxicating and addictive and you were as nervous as he was when you heard him say he wanted to taste you… choso forces himself to clench his jaw because he's afraid he'll start drooling when he tosses the elastic aside and finally notices how wet you are. He stops breathing for a moment. You were glistening even under the absence of light, the orange sunset tempera justly illuminating your thighs and bare stomach.

Impatiently, he pulls your panties down. Until they become entangled in your knees and he resumes his place and your fingers return to his: on the crown of his head.

He lowers his face to the middle of your thighs and as if enchanted by witchcraft lets his thumb wander along the edges of your pussy parting it and exposing the changing hues hidden there as he continues to explore. The tip of his thumb grazes your clit and you gasp low.

"I'm sorry," he apologizes. Stopping immediately to turn his full attention on you, his eyes coated in a layer of glistening lust.

"I'm fine." Your voice is almost unrecognizable— husky and deep with pleasure. You were aching from how much he had unconsciously delayed your pleasure. "I need you to keep going, you're doing such a good job."

His heart clenches at the praise. "You like it?" he asks, full of eagerness.

"Very much," you reply, forcing yourself not to roll your eyes because that would mean no longer looking at him.

Choso rushes back to explore you again. You manage to escape your underwear by pulling them off of you to place your legs over his strong shoulders, you feel him tense up and push his hips against the bed. Your clit is tucked into his full lips, sucking and tasting it as his hips continue to circle on the mattress of your bed. The action makes you spread your legs wider to give him the space his mouth demands, the pleasure makes you moan louder which catches the attention of Choso who curiously rolls his tongue along your slit tasting you better.

Your body spills over his palate like the sweetest of wines as your body clenches and tenses as he continues the licking and sloppy kissing session. Choso is addicted to the way you react when he sucks that little button so he does it again, pushes his face between your thighs that squeeze around his cheeks; despite this you fail to push him away.

His name rolls out of your mouth like a mantra. Choso hears your compliments, your prayers, between your sobs he manages to decipher the words "please" and "sensitive" however at this point he can't stop to verify what you are meaning or admire your reaction.

This was what he had created. Your wet pussy, dripping over his mouth with each new lick and he wanted… no, he needed more.

The bulge in his pants hurt and the only way to make it better was to rub against the sheets. He's done this before, unsure whether to touch it or not, just rubbed silently against his sheets —his sweaty hair sticking uncomfortably to his face, his sobs muffled by the feathers on the pillow— while he thinks about you, your voice, how your fingers feel around his, your kisses…he can't take it anymore. Choso always ends up ruining his sheets or his pants as soon as that knotted feeling tangles his guts and he knows that if he keeps it up he'll do the same to yours so against his will he pulls his head out of your thighs, as if some unnatural force has done it for him.

You are clearly confused, choso can see it in your face, especially in your eyebrows together and that knot tightens further causing more heat to spill out in the form of a blush on his cheeks.

"What— why?" you ask as you find your voice.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to wet your bed."

It's mortifying the pain and regret on his face. Your stomach contracts and you bite your lip to keep from lunging at him and eating his mouth. How could you possibly have turned out to find someone so adorable? Finally, your eyebrows relax along with the muscles in your face and a small smile takes hold of your lips.

"Lie down. Face up," you order him gently.

Choso does it right away, no need for questions or for you to repeat it again. He is across horizontally on the bed, his arms behind his head elevating his neck to take a good view of you and his feet are sticking out slightly from the bed.

When your fingers catch on the elastic band of his underwear, Choso has to take a gasp of air. He forces himself to inflate his lungs which fill with the musky, sweaty smell that pervades the room and he feels so weak in front of you. Exposed, just like the pulp of a fresh fruit you've just bitten into.

You ride on his lap taking it as a seat and his legs tighten as he feels your weight. Choso trembles with need and even though this is the first time he has been this close to you in this way, he feels the urge to pounce on you to feel you closer.

You push him back onto the bed as you see his intentions, the growl that slips out of his throat lets you know how unsatisfied he is as you let out a mischievous chuckle. Choso looks like a caged animal, he gasps like one; and just like an animal in captivity if you provoke him enough he can actually bite.

"I'm going to show you something," you tell him, chasing the flame you see growing in his eyes.

His pupils dilate and widen as he watches you undo your top and finally take his dick in your hand and arrange it in a position where it rests on his stomach. You get distracted by the spiral-shaped hairs you find on his navel line, your fingertips slipping between them and getting lost in the tangle of tangled hairs above his pelvis. It is only then that you improve your posture to lean forward and sit right on his cock; your wet folds embrace his shaft and it is automatic the way choso drops his jaw in unison as he drops his head back.

Darkness is all he can see for a moment. His forearm rushes to his mouth and his teeth dig into the skin almost automatically, the light layer of sweat matting his teeth and the roof of his mouth repeating the same pattern he has been recreating weeks ago in the silence of the night. Choso squeezes his eyes shut, that snake made of electricity tightens on his thighs and he sobs.

"I'm going to make you sticky…" he warns you in a weak voice, melting into the darkness around him seeking refuge from what's really happening and you find it adorable how much he's struggling to maintain control of his body.

"You're going to cum," you explain sweetly, pulling your arm away from his mouth. "Let me listen to you. Your moans are just for me."

"Is that what it's called?" Choso has a theory that if maybe he makes conversation he can distract himself from the fact that you were moving up and down on his dick, so wet, so smooth, it's like you're dancing. The sensation is new and so different, it's not like anything he imagined before. He rolls his eyes unable to keep them open and thrusts his hips upward.

As he loses control, the black mark that crosses over his nose expands and warps and that along with choso with tousled hair, streaked over the purity of the sheets is one of the most sacred images you've ever been able to behold.

"Yes-" you were smiling, addicted to the reaction you got from him. Riding faster as you feel your own orgasm building.

You manage to catch his hands and bring them on top of his head trapping him and leaving him helpless before you as you move with pressure on his cock that continues to drip, rub and throb over your clit with each new rotation of your hips, it was painful to feel him so close and far away at the same time, maybe choso felt the same but you didn't want to push him; you wanted it all to happen when he was ready.

"I want to touch you." More than a request, it sounds like a demand, a need, so you decide to give in and release one of his arms, curious about what he will do next.

To your surprise, his hand goes to your cheek. Large, compared to your face, rough and hard from having fought so many times alongside you and his companions exorcising curses, yet it brings a comfort and security in it that compels you to close your eyes and let yourself be guided by the pleasure and intimacy of the moment. Choso crawls along your cheek bone and rests on your lips, with his thumb he squeezes your lower lip which makes you open your eyes as you watch him part your mouth and land on your tongue.

You moan as you take it around your lips. His brow furrows and his throat vibrates with each new moan that he now doesn't want to disguise, your tongue plays with his finger, your teeth nibble at his skin just to tease him and the raw taste of his flesh floods your mouth.

"I'm going to cum," choso says suddenly, using the new word you've taught him.

Slowly, he moves his thumb out of you, cradling your cheek with his hand. You drop into this one, consumed by the act.

"Are you going to cum?"

"Uh huh," he replies with his lip between his teeth.

"For me?" Choso sucks his lip and closes his eyes again, his cock quivering hard between your folds expelling white ropes that interrupt the harmony of his skin and fall onto his stomach… your orgasm hits you almost instantly, as intense and violent as his.

"Just for you," sighs Choso desperately seeking to breathe normally again.

You drop down next to him, tired and sore. Your muscles are cramped and you are sure that tomorrow you will have a long day trying to accomplish the mission thanks to the pain your limbs will feel. It is in the midst of the dilemma of what might happen tomorrow that you realize that choso's warmth is gone and this makes you involuntarily lift your head to check where he had gone.

"Babe?" You flare up at the realization of what he is doing. Choso returns to the bed and takes a towel in his hands which he silently uses to wipe your crotch. You are embarrassed and uneasy, though perhaps not as much as he who looks as if he will start to let smoke escape from his ears.

You opt not to add anything else, let him lie down next to you and hug you from behind and cling possessively to his chest, one arm wrapped around your waist, another under your head.

"You're so beautiful." Choso whispers into your hairline after depositing a kiss there.

"Stop it. I'm embarrassed enough."

"I'm sorry," he replies immediately. You both fall silent for a couple of seconds before he adds, "Oh, wait. That means you really like it so I'm not sorry, you're the most beautiful person I've ever seen."

Oh wow. You had created a monster. You hide for a second in the warmth of his arm, waiting for the flame burning your cheeks to cease before turning to face him.

"Hi." He chuckles gently at the sight of your face again. Unable to erase the smile that takes hold of him. "You're still embarrassed?"

"Choso," you growl, looking up at him from underneath with eyes full of excitement.

"I'm-just telling the truth. You're really beautiful, I'm so lucky to have you with me."

Maybe if you move away from him you can breathe for a moment and let your thoughts flow again, because being so close in that mixture of his sweat and his perfume you can't think straight, you can barely breathe.

"I love you." You let it out suddenly, without thinking too hard. Your tongue breaks free of your self-control to give voice to a feeling you've known since the moment you met Choso.

Choso kisses your forehead, then your nose. And before too much time passes that makes you think this was a mistake;

"I love you too." He assures you. And he couldn't be more sure of that.

[sminiac]

I drank a tea way too late at night and now it's almost 7am with no sleep so pardon me if I'm totally incoherent but. I've been playing my death metal favourites all night and I can't stop thinking of like. Xikers with a super scary chains+spikes metalhead s/o... Who among them would be intimidated and submissive to them and who would rise up and give them a challenge, rough them up like the bed is a mosh pit... I have my own ideas already but I'm curious to what others would think

I like the way you think🤭

At times Minjae has some lip to him, so I feel like he’d enjoy the taunting aspect to it, like purposefully being excessively difficult with you, whiny refusals and muttering back complaints under his breath when you ask something of him, he’s continuous in doing it only loud enough for you to hear, but muttered so it isn’t distinct enough to properly make out. It’s really all a ploy to get you riled up, quietly admires you with darting eyes, your aesthetic an entirely new sight to him that’s done not in a disingenuous way, he can’t help but fawn over you, especially when you’re being mean, when you aren’t treating him like delicate glass. Being used yet simultaneously taken care of would definitely be a sort of coping mechanism for him, knows he’s in safe hands so he just completely lets go, he’s yours, utterly and completely.

Ex: He’d definitely have a thing for particularly sharp jewelry, or even nails, the pleasure you provide his cock with mitigating the burning sting of something sharp being dragged across his thighs/chest that’s not quite sharp enough to break skin, but it’s something about the red lines appearing in the aftermath that has him wanting more.

Junmin would honestly, in my opinion, be quite the wildcard, I feel like surface level most would assume that he’d submit with ease, but something about him is telling me that he wouldn’t. Well, most of the time. I’d say maybe 50/50, like sometimes he’s whimpering out pleas that you: “Be mean to me, want you to be mean.” And would secretly enjoy the way you handle him so firmly, holding him by the square of his jaw, forcing him to watch the way your hand glides up and down his cock, a few degrading words slipping while you’re riding him, acting out only so he can receive more, but he’d also like to see someone as intimidating as you brought down to a whimpering puddle beneath him, because of him.

Ex: maybe it’s just me though, but I think he’d be so taunting about it, loves to point out everything, making fun of you but promises to make you feel good, that he’ll make up for it. I think the juxtaposition of being perceived as more soft and sweet vs enjoying being the one in charge is something that would feed into this too. Also, having his arms and legs restrained would be something he’s into, depends on the day.

For Sumin… now I had to come back to do him last because if I thought about it for too long my heart would break through the interior of my chest. I’m gonna play into the mean!Sumin thing I brought up recently because the image I have of him in my head fits a little too perfectly, but he’d definitely be the most aggressive, by far. Because tell me he wouldn’t stick his fingers down your throat to shut you up while he’s got you backed up against a wall, fucking up into you, his pace brutal, unfaltering. He can be so sweet and praising but if you want the. he’s saying nothing to you other than utter filth.

Ex: let me stop right there, but his arms 😵‍💫 putting you in a headlock??? Nah okay, I’m done let me chill out. He’d have a thing for stretched ears (self indulgent?) thinks they’re so cool, especially the tapers lol.

I think there’s no way Jinsik would wanna put up a fight against you, the most he’d have in his arsenal is a few weak snaps that he’d quickly apologize for, taking his words back as he’s scrambling to keep you close to him, sweet thing, just wants to feel you, wants you all over him. The type to be so fascinated by your level of self expression, brags about it, countless compliments whispered to you in public when he’s feeling needy and just can’t wait until you’re back at the dorms. Thinks it’s sexy how you take on the dominant role, has a thing for egging you on, “You gonna use me? God- please do, ‘s all I want, however you want me I’m all yours, only yours.”

Ex: would have a thing for his hair being pulled, and not the dainty tugs at his scalp but forcefully moving his head by a simple fist full of his hair, wants to be messed with, wants to be marked up, in whatever way you possibly can. Also, having a thing for his cock being hit/slapped, tries so hard not to cum on the spot, but if your spitting on it after, stroking him gently to make up for your harshness in quiet then he can’t help it.

Hyunwoo… now listen, this may be crazy but I can see him holding you down, like face down ass up with one arm, the other cracking harsh, self indulgent slaps against you, likes seeing how red your ass gets, his jaw pulled tight when you’re garbling out jumbled cries that it: “Hurts, Woo it stings- more!” over the wet sound of your cunt repeatedly swallowing him in. Would also have a thing for teasing you to the brink of tears, feigning empathy with a dramatic bump to his lip as his hand smooths against the irritated skin. “Poor baby, but you’re doing so good f’me, taking my cock so well. Makes me wonder how people would react to seeing you so obedient, letting me fuck you like this.”

Ex: a favourite position would have to be the mating press, likes seeing you cry while he’s fucking into you at an incomprehensible pace, the tip of his cock bumping into a place that has your vision going fuzzy at the edges. Pride swells inside in his chest when he sees that your eye makeup is completely ruined, especially if you use a lot of eyeliner/dark eye shadow.

[everybodyshusband]

@relentlessmoon (tumblr won’t let me tag you? so a link to your blog is the best i can do, i’m so sorry !!) said she wanted to hear more about these three and i couldn't resist. so... dew, rain, and aeon self harm ficlet under the cut

he/him dewdrop, she/they rain, they/them aeon

cw for blood, glorification of self harm, and rain and dew being slightly manipulative. idk it’s just kinda… generally fucked-up ??!?

~

“Dew, what–?” The disappointment in Rain’s eyes is palpable and Dew itches to draw the blade across his skin once more. He would, if not for the nervous pair of eyes peeking out from behind Rain. Dew has never had a problem cutting himself in front of Rain before—and Rain doesn’t have a problem doing the same in front of Dew; Sathanas knows they’re just as bad as each other—but he doesn’t want to drag Aeon into their mess, not yet, at least. The new summon doesn’t deserve that, even if they do seem to have a predisposition for this particular shared habit of Dewdrop and Rain.

The water ghoulette sighs as she takes in the scene in front of her. If they were anyone else, Dewdrop would assume that they’re disappointed in him for relapsing without attempting to seek help, but Dewdrop knows that in actuality, she’s annoyed he didn’t invite her to join him. Like he said, just as bad as each other, with no sign of healing anytime soon. “Let’s get you cleaned up,” she mumbles quietly, tugging Aeon into the room with her.

They stay behind Rain for as long as possible, trailing after them as they gather supplies to clean Dew up, glancing at him every few seconds with an expression that Dew can’t quite place plastered across their face. He thinks it’s a mixture of emotions. Worry, definitely. Curiosity is there as well, but so is something else. Something akin to awe is shining in their eyes, he thinks, and as much as that worries him, he can’t tamp down the part inside of him that jumps for joy at the idea of a new person to share this habit with.

The water ghoulette crouches down in front of Dew and his perch on the edge of the bathtub, the hurt look in her eyes breaking his heart. “Why didn’t you invite me? Could’ve had fun…” They press a wet cloth to Dew’s calf, wiping away the trails of blood that have managed to drip all the way down his leg.

“‘M sorry,” he mutters. “Looked like you were busy with Ae. Didn’t wanna bother you.” He spares a glance at the quintessence ghoul kneeling on his other side, offering up a weak smile in apology.

Rain scoffs quietly. “Aeon doesn’t mind, do you, Ae?”

They shake their head eagerly, their mood not yet as sombre as the other two. “I don’t mind. I– I wanna learn more, actually. About… all this.” They gesture to Dew’s slashed-up thigh. “It’s, uhm– It’s pretty.”

The praise isn’t directed at him, but Dew smiles anyway. He can’t help but agree with Aeon, his cuts are pretty, as is the blood that flows freely from them.

“See the white ones?” Rain asks, gesturing to the collection of Dew’s cuts closest to his hip. “You like them?”

Aeon nods, eyes wide and humming as they stare at the slow drip drip drip of blood steadily leaking out of Dewdrop’s deepest cuts.

“We call it styro,” she explains, still wiping away the excess blood from Dew’s leg. Every time she clears the area of blood enough to begin properly cleaning him, the blood wells back up and they have to start again.

“Means I hit the fat,” Dew continues for them. “Proper name is the dermis, but humans call it styro. Dunno why. Look” He reaches down to pull at the broken skin, widening the cut to give Aeon a proper look at the white layer of fat exposed by his cuts.

“Woah…” They marvel at the new sight. “How did you–?” Their expression is definitely awe-filled now, their eyes are practically sparkling as one of their hands drifts unsubtly to their forearm, rubbing over it slowly.

“‘S all about the angle of the blade. Rain– Rain can get deeper than me,” he mumbles, looking down ashamedly at his own measly slices.

Rain hums, tilting their head back and forth in consideration. “Well, yeah,” they agree, “but I cut over one spot again and again. You don’t.”

Their logic is sound, but Dew can’t help but feel outcompeted by the water ghoulette’s ability to maim herself more effectively than he can. It’s stupid, he knows, but it’s a thought process he’s never been able to shake, and if he’s honest with himself, he’s not sure he wants to; despite the feelings of worthlessness it brings him, it keeps him motivated to do better, to get worse.

“Can– Would you, uhm… Teach me?”

Rain grins at Aeon’s stilted question and Dew can feel his own face mirroring her expression. They glance up at him, raising an eyebrow conspiratorially. “Up for another round?”

Dewdrop’s grin widens as his grip on his blade tightens. “Always.”

Aeon smiles happily, already rolling up one of their sleeves in anticipation. Rain yanks their arm in her direction and traces their own fingers lightly over the scars already littering Aeon’s skin. “You’ve done well, Ae. Very impressive…”

“Y– Yeah?” They look so endearingly hopeful, so eager to prove themselves as one of the pack; to find their place in it. Dew is more than happy to provide that place for them, and by the look of it, so is Rain.

Dew runs a hand gently over Aeon’s cheek, smearing a thin coating of his blood onto their face. The way they turn their head to look up at him adoringly reminds him of a puppy. “Yeah, bug. Rain’s right, this is really impressive.”

Now it’s Rain’s turn to run a hand over their face, turning them to look at her instead. “But don’t you want to make it even more impressive?”

They nod helplessly and Rain grins once more, their smile sharp and dangerous. “Then let’s get started, shall we?”

[toxic-mothers-tourney]

Toxic propaganda: Shadow Weaver (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power)

Exemplifies Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss, threatened one of the small children she was raising with murder, tried to sacrifice her other daughter figure to save the world/get her more power, excessively rancid

She raises Adora and Catra up from babies, making Catra believe she's unworthy and completely unlovable by her, and praising Adora, even going as far as to punish Catra when Adora does something wrong. She's horrible and conniving and steals a precious gemstone from Scorpia, another girl she raises to believe her parents are dead and Shadow Weaver saved her, using the gem she stole for power. And all in all, she doesn't even apologize for any of it

She put two kids in a golden child-scapegoat dynamic, to the point where the scapegoat (Catra) tried to end the world just so the golden child (Adora) couldn’t save it. She taught Adora that Adora couldn’t want things for herself, and her only purpose was to be useful. She taught Catra that her only worth is in Adora’s support, and if Adora isn’t around then she is worth nothing. She manipulated Adora and Catra over and over again every time they gave her a chance to change. In the end, she died to save them, but her dying words, rather than her character foil’s dying words “take care of each other,” were “your welcome.” One last time rubbing in how much power she had over them, that only she could save them.

She is the defacto mother to the kids training to be solders for the horde, she pitted them against each and is generally very manlupitiv. And well she is training them to be child soldiers for the "evil empire" I think that is pretty bad in it self 🤷‍♀️

Really just out there be homophobic coded in the celebration of lesbianism that is SPOP. She's out there killing two birds with one stone: abusing and neglecting Catra, telling her she's worthless until our girl tries to destroy the world about it. IN THE SAME BREATH she manipulates Adora into thinking her only value is in what she can do for others until she tries to die for everyone. She's literally in their heads right up until the moment of her death when she tells them "you're welcome". Like, the audacity. Not to mention that all the children she is responsible for raising have most likely been kidnapped and are being raised as child soldiers, so that's not great.

Raised two girls and constantly compared them, creating a toxic competitive atmosphere between them, typical "golden child" and "scapegoat" emotionally abusive scenario.

Gatekeep Gaslight Gworst parental figure that manipulated and terrorized several children and teenagers and pretended she did them a favor

[outofcontexttokusatsu]

People have been giving you crap for not liking Kingohger, and trust me I don't agree with you, but I am at least glad you're still watching it and giving it a shot. You even praised a cliffhanger! So, be honest: Do you think it'll be crap (in your opinion) beginning to end, or do you think this is just a weak opening introduction arc or what? Also, do you think that, regardless of the series's quality, that doing non-set-in-Tokyo series will be a good step forward for plot diversity?

Going to assume these anons are all from you as well based on the wording (and if not I apologize to you and those anons but for sake of convenience I'm going to lump them all together).

Honestly overall I wouldn't exactly care that much people disagree with me about the show since I've spent enough time online to deal with people disagreeing with me about media (hell Faiz is in my top 5 and people still treat that show like the plague), but because Certain People I Won't Name wanted to start a massive argument over it and seem convinced that they can bully me into changing my mind for some reason I feel compelled to keep my rebuttals up.

I didn't go in WANTING to hate it, I've never gone into a show expecting or wanting to hate it beyond maybe Saber and even that I gave it a fair shot. I made my post about it to keep the running joke going (which I planned to do anyways regardless of quality) and when asked I made my points very clear, and at the point of the writing the first 3 episodes all have the very same reaction from me: the CG is ugly and genuinely distracting, the cinematography and general production of the show is very bad and makes a lot of basic mistakes that Sentai has never really struggled with before (seriously how hard is it to make sure the lights on the actors match the lighting of the environment?) because they're putting the fancy new tech first, the writing ranges from being decent (I do like Gira's gimmick of just pretending to be a moron want to overthrow Racules as a despot but so far little is done with it) to bland (Yanma and Himeno end up being pretty one-note despite attempts to add a new layer to them, Bugnarok and Racules are 1980's JRPG levels of generic BBEG) and even decently written/acted scenes are ruined by terrible editing or throwing in LOLRANDUM wacky and zany shit to them (DUDE HACKING BATTLE LOL) that takes me out of it.

If it weren't for the excessive flashy CG and cool new projection theater stage tech being front and center it'd be a painfully average Sentai show that is exactly why Sentai has been flopping in ratings and sales since Gokaiger, nothing new is being done and there isn't anything to hook a viewer, and the toys are kinda boring looking too. Especially after the moldbreaking psycopathy of Zenkaiger and Donbrothers, that we've gone right back to the same shit as always rather than keep pushing the envelope in the areas that actually matter is the problem. I don't even want to say someone didn't "get" Donbros (although based on some of the arguments people keep raising to me they really didn't) or blame it on sensory overload like my initial post, definitely a bad choice in hindsight but I was self aware about that, but this obsessive defense really makes just no sense to me at all.

I don't set out to make myself as the true objective arbiter of taste despite the jokes I make, and you shouldn't treat my words as such. I'm just some goofy (insert gender here) dork on the Internet who has some modicum of attention on themselves. Jokes(tm) aside I don't put myself above or below anyone else, I've been an avid fan of tokusatsu for ages and gotten particularly deep into it, deeper than the average person for sure, but I don't use that to build a pedestal for myself. You like Kingohger? Good, I'm glad you find something in it I don't. I won't attack or insult you for liking something I don't or enjoying something that from an objective standpoint is not good content, excluding maybe Ghost but even then you do you weirdo. But I've made my point and will continue to make my point until the show ends or I give up, and no outside force will change that.

Basically, what I'm trying to say about my opinion is:

And to get back to your point, I don't WANT the show to be shit beginning to end and I really hope it isn't, but based on opening perception and knowing who's behind the scenes I have low hopes for the show improving. Knowing me I end up just watching the entire show out of spite at some point but I really am going in each week hoping each episode is the one that changes my mind. Hell, I stuck with Kyuranger longer than most and that ended up getting pretty good when Houou showed up so maybe whenever SixOhger drops the show gets that kick it needs but as it stands now I couldn't say. As for the alternate setting offering plot diversity, see it's too early to make a judgement but I don't really see it. The different kingdoms are all so drastic from one another and the bizarro Final Fantasy-eques schizotech levels put the show in a weird place where paradoxically the setting itself doesn't really matter much, if the show were confined in one specific kingdom or at least had each kingdom separated into different plot arcs I could see it - which it may end up doing who knows - but the approach it seems to be going for seems to make it irrelevant. Even then, Adult Concerns will eventually rear their ugly head and the show will go through some shift to where the unique setting is dispensed with to end up with the same 8-9 filming locations we always end up in, again with Kyuranger that set itself up as a cool spacefaring action-opera and then we park our asses on Earth 4 episodes in and spend nearly the entire show there and the few times we DO go offworld after we just end up at the same quarry and stream we always go to.

[razzle-zazzle]

Dion HC's?

Some of my headcanons and interpretations vary from AU to AU, but here's a few of the more consistent ones!

this got,,,, so very long so i'm slapping it under a cut

He can't aim to save his life. Oh, he can try, but he will miss the target and that is a promise. Frazie teases him for it constantly.

He was a very fussy baby. Loudest crier if even the slightest thing was wrong. Calmed down around the time he started walking, and got a lot less fussy when Raz was born. So far only Queepie's managed to be a fussier infant.

The kind of guy who complains to complain. Will gripe and groan under his breath over his chores as he does them, makes a huge production out of not being able to find his hair tie/grease/brush; that sort of thing. When things get serious, though, or when he's really, truly upset, he talks a lot less, and his responses get noticeably curt and short. He does not deal well with excessive stress.

Has let Mirtala braid his hair before. Will do it again.

Loves his family so much. Respects his parents and Nona a lot, worries over his little siblings—he might not admit it aloud, but Dion strikes me as a character whose family is his whole world. He's so very loyal, and there's not a lot he wouldn't do for them.

...and yet somehow he's still a massive jerk. It's not often that he's directly mean to his little siblings, but when he is he has a tendency to snap out the words that'll hurt the most. He apologizes later, but that doesn't take away the hurt (and some part of him knows it).

Has done night feedings for Mirtala and Queepie. It wasn't every night—but if he was already awake then he'd try to handle it before either of his parents woke up. When Queepie was born, Augustus and Donatella would do their best to wake up first because "son we love you and we appreciate that you're trying to help but this isn't your job." Dion and Donatella used to joke about it being a race to see who'd respond to the baby first.

Dumbass. Though to be more specific, he's not so much unintelligent as he is Not Great at processing his emotions just yet. Quick to believe people that he trusts would know more than him (his parents, Queepie, Gisu, Frazie only sometimes because she's pulled the gullible/similar tricks on him too many times to count, Raz about psychic stuff later in life), making him pretty gullible when he's not outright distrusting of someone. Otherwise, he's a kinetic learner, and knows a lot about health, acrobatics, physics, cooking, and basic needlework—but he's terrible at explaining any of it; he struggles to put his knowledge into words. Smart in that he can grasp stuff pretty quickly, not great at explaining it to others.

Tried very hard to be as Grownup and Responsible as he could when he was ten to twelve. He's still sort of in that phase, but he's also in a teenage puberty "everything is stressful and I would like a break" phase and it does not mix well with his desire to be more grown up than he actually is.

Puffs up like a peacock when it comes to acrobatics/his physical ability in general. Not the quickest to show off, but definitely craves praise far more than he'll ever admit. Quickest way to get him to do something is to imply he can't do it, and chances are he'll go and do it just to show off that he can.

Hoards criticism just as much as he hoards praise. Sometimes challenging him to do something on the basis that he can't do it works well, sometimes it just makes him pull back and less willing to try it. It usually depends on who he's around—people are pretty multifaceted, after all.

Doesn't think much of himself when it comes to more academic fields—he doesn't really realize how much intuitive knowledge he actually has, and he's self-conscious about his seeming inability to explain anything on a technical level.

Is the most prone to fumbling when he's at his cockiest. Frazie and Raz call it karma, Dion picks himself up and acts like He Totally Meant To Do That, Guys, Can't Let You Two Feel Too Bad About Being Inferior. This act fools absolutely no one.

Tends to follow his father's example in speaking through actions rather than words. But, just like how Augustus' bottled love line expresses fear over how being so reserved can undercut his relationship with his children, Dion's tendency to express his feelings through quiet little actions instead of outright saying them doesn't do him a whole lot of favors in the "not looking like a massive jerk" department.

Enjoys cooking, especially with Lucrecia. He's not a master chef by any standards, but he's generally good enough that whatever he cooks is bound to be delicious. Brings Raz homecooked food a few days after the events of PN2 as a way of apologizing.

Has a little poetry journal that he hides more fervently than Raz hides his comic books. I know I said he's bad at words but it's my headcanons and I make the rules. Also I see Dion as more bad at academic words; he's perfectly capable of rambling out things that make sense to nobody but himself. The poetry journal's mostly just a little place for him to word vomit his feelings in the least coherent manner; he doesn't use it as much in the months leading up to the events of the games, to his own detriment.

Competent at needlework and patching up torn clothes and tents and blankets. Absolutely hates it. Least favorite chore.

Has experimented with makeup before. He doesn't always wear it, but sometimes it's nice to feel just that extra bit prettier. Got most of his (admittedly still pretty limited, but he's getting better and better at it as time goes on) understanding of how to apply makeup from his mother.

Incredibly good at rambling so as to dig himself deeper when he's under pressure. Incredibly bad at getting out of trouble when he's caught doing Stupid Shit.

[90363462]

6 Signs You Are WAY Too Self-Critical

Shellie R. Warren

Jul. 20, 2019 06:44AM EST

As life would have it, as I'm starting this piece, Kelis' music video for "Bossy" is playing on the tube. Something that I've always liked about Kelis, as an artist, is she's gonna do whatever she wants to do. We don't have to get it, so long as she does. If we like it, that's merely a bonus. Yeah, Kelis would be the opposite of the kinds of folks we're gonna talk about today. She appears to be very anti-self-critical. And that's beautiful.

I recently read two articles about why so many of us are so critical of ourselves (if you want to check them out, gohere and then here). The therapists who were interviewed touched on things like us fearing complacency and also us choosing to engage in tons of negative self-talk. I think that another reason has to do with our childhood. Boy, if there's ever a time when my blood boils, it's when a parent is snatching up a young child and/or worse, cussing at them. Children's minds, hearts and souls are so fragile; they must be handled with extreme care. If that doesn't happen, if the very individuals who should be nurturing their spirits are constantly breaking them, a self-critical individual is exactly what they will turn out to be.

Some of us once were those children and, unfortunately, we are so used to treating ourselves with a lack of patience, forgiveness and self-compassion, that we don't even realize how self-critical we actually are. If you're wondering if this is something that you struggle with, perhaps more than you think, here are six blaring signs that should not be ignored.

You Find a Way to Tear Down Every Compliment

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There's someone I used to be close to who was pretty difficult to be around. A part of the reason was because I could never tell if her responses to compliments were a passive-aggressive way to get more or if she was a bona fide Olympian when it came to tearing affirmations down. I mean, no matter what I said to her, she found a way to knock it. For every time I said, "You look pretty today", she would respond with, "Maybe if I lost some weight." I'd give you some other examples, but I'm already worn out, just by reminiscing over all of that toxicity.

I get that sometimes it can be challenging to receive compliments or praise because you are so focused on improving the being that you already are. But if you don't know how to simply say "thank you" when someone commends you, or there is a part of you that doesn't believe them, something is very imbalanced when it comes to your self-esteem. Yes, there is something to be said for growth, but there is also something to be said for being proud of the person you are and appreciating when other people recognize the goodness that is already in/on you.

You Are Sorry for Things That You Shouldn’t Be

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I've got a girlfriend who is mad humble. But, as a wise person once said, even the excess of a virtue can be a vice, at times. In her case, she has a tendency to apologize for things that she didn't do wrong or aren't her fault. If I call her, she's busy and has to call me back, she'll say, "I'm sorry. I was doing such-and-such." Is that something to be sorry for? Or when her husband completely shows his tail (if you've got a friend with a difficult spouse, I wrote about how I handle it here), she apologizes on his behalf (I get that married folks are "one" and all but he needs to take ownership for his own actions).

She apologizes so much that I finally brought it to her attention by saying, "Do you know that you say 'I'm sorry' for things that you don't even do wrong?" After responding with yep and, you guessed it, "I'm sorry" (LOL), she then said that she thinks it's because she struggles with people-pleasing a lot. Whenever someone is unhappy or even inconvenienced, she somehow believes that she has something to do with it. When I encouraged her to go deeper into where that stems from, she said that she had a babysitter from hell who used to berate and beat her and the other kids that she watched. My friend never told her parents; she just internalized it. She said "I'm sorry" a lot then to keep the peace and she does it a lot now for the same reason (self-awareness is a miracle cure, for real, for real!).

This example is a kinda cryptic form of being self-critical, but it is one nonetheless. It's also a reminder that we must handle all children with extreme care because they grow up to be adults; sometimes with the same wounds that they had from their childhood. Including being way too hard on themselves.

You Hold Yourself to Unrealistic Standards

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Along the same lines of what we just discussed, another indication that you are too self-critical is the standards that you have for yourself are super unrealistic. You are a perfectionist. You don't forgive yourself when you make mistakes. You set way too many goals in a short frame of time. You see where I'm going with this, right? The problem with this is, because we all are flawed, we all sometimes make poor decisions and we all have moments of feeling totally overwhelmed, if you don't accept this fact about your own humanity, you're constantly going to feel like you are a disappointment, if not a flat-out failure.

Cut yourself some slack on the front end by aiming to do your best, but also predetermining that when you do mess up, you can let yourself off of the hook. Doing so is not letting yourself slide. It's actually an act of self-love.

You Don’t Ask for Help

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Anyone who thinks that they don't need help is someone who not only has an ego problem (whether they realize it, like it or not), they also are setting themselves up for failure. If God wanted us to live without the assistance and support of others, we wouldn't have family members and friends. We wouldn't co-exist around other human beings on a daily basis either.

How does not asking for help equate to being too self-critical? Because a lot of people are this way because don't want to come off as appearing weak or needy. Or, they want to show others that they don't need anyone but themselves.

Being this type of person is typically a sign of also having some pretty serious trust issues. But here's the thing—if you constantly attempt things that would be easier for you to do if you had some back-up, then they may take a lot longer or not turn out as well as they could have. As a result, you become even more self-critical. Ugh. Doubly so.

You Are Never Ever Satisfied. Especially with Yourself.

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Not too long ago, I was checking out the IG page for this site. Under a post that featured, well, go here and you can see it yourself, I appreciated what a male commenter said—"The Education us Men get following this page. I'm here for it." I took a sec to check out what the poster, @prewilliams has going on and he had a post that was so appropriate for this article—"You're over here doubting yourself while so many people are intimidated by your potential."

There's nothing wrong with being driven and ambitious. There's nothing wrong with wanting to become better on a daily basis. There's nothing wrong with going above and beyond what seems attainable. But a part of what comes with being a healthy and balanced individual is also being at peace with what you've already accomplished and just how far you've already come.

Stress, anxiety and frustration oftentimes arise out of not knowing how to be satisfied with oneself and/or how to stay in the moment. Life is too short to not know how to just be sometimes.

You’re Way Too Quiet

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Some of y'all might remember the episode of A Different World when Tisha Campbell played a student who had HIV. Her professor was played by Whoopi Goldberg and the assignment that she gave the class to write their own obituary (a clip of the episode is right here). Something that Whoopi's character said, more than once, that has remained with me all this time is, "You are a voice in this world."

It's one thing to use timing and tact in delivering a message. It's another matter entirely when you have a desire to speak, but you don't, because you're worried about how people will react or respond. Your insight, your perspectives and your experiences are just as valid as anyone else's. Don't let your critical nature try and convince you otherwise.

A very wise person once said, "It's better to speak your mind and tell the truth, than to stay quiet and lie to yourself." If after reading this, you know that you are way too self-critical, start making some changes today by speaking up more, always remembering, that yes—YOU ARE A VOICE IN THIS WORLD. A voice that deserves to be heard, received and respected. With as little criticism from you as possible.

Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:

Quick & Easy Self-Esteem Hacks That Will Have You Feeling Yourself

These Are The Things Self-Aware People Do Daily

Self-Improvement Was My Addiction

Say These Self-Affirmations To Start Your Day On The Right Note

Featured Image by Unsplash.

Self-Critical and Perfectionist Child | Raise Confident Child | Child ... ›

5 Signs You're Too Self-Critical — Aniesa Hanson Counseling ... ›

9 Signs That You're An Overly Critical Person & How To Fix The ... ›

Signs you're being too hard on yourself - INSIDER ›

7 signs you have a self-loathing mindset (and 14 ways to overcome it) ›

11 Signs You're Being Too Hard On Yourself (And 11 Ways To Stop) ›

11 Signs You Are Too Self-Critical — Exploring your mind ›

20 Signs You Are Too Self-Critical | Psychology Today ›

5 Signs You're Too Self-Critical | Savvy Psychologist ›

Sent from my iPhone

[decoding-narcissism]

Vulnerability is a Weapon

Narcissists exploit vulnerability like predators. They find weaknesses and use them to control their victims. Their charm is deceptive, drawing people in before unleashing manipulation. Here’s how they do it and how you can spot them.

Narcissists first present themselves as the perfect confidant. They listen attentively, creating an illusion of empathy. Once trust is established, they turn the tables. They will use your fears and insecurities against you, subtly shifting the balance of power in their favor.

Gaslighting is their favorite tool. It’s a form of psychological manipulation where they make you doubt your own reality. For example, they might deny saying something they clearly did, making you question your memory. Over time, this constant undermining erodes your self-confidence.

An example: Imagine you express a concern about their behavior. They respond with, “You’re too sensitive. I never said that.” This not only dismisses your feelings but also plants doubt in your mind. Another tactic is triangulation, where they involve a third party to validate their distorted version of events, further isolating and disorienting you.

To identify a narcissist, watch for these signs: they monopolize conversations, lack genuine empathy, and react with rage or contempt when challenged. They may initially shower you with praise, only to later manipulate and belittle you. Pay attention to how they treat others, not just you.

Recognizing gaslighting is crucial. If you often feel confused, doubting your own perceptions, or apologizing excessively, these are red flags. Keep a record of conversations and trust your instincts. If something feels off, it probably is.

Understanding these behaviors can help you protect yourself. Knowledge is power. Don’t let a narcissist use your vulnerability as a weapon.

[automationsfascinations]

intelligent people are very useful for abusive manipulators. Abusers want useful talented people to exploit for their own self-interests. If you’re intelligent or talented, you got a target on your head. The more intelligent/talented you are, the bigger the prize for a manipulator. If you’re able to provide something of great value, you will be more prone to manipulation simply on the grounds that you’re more desirable to a personality that wants people to use.

It ended with an understanding, and I told her that I am not sexually interested anyone right now, which is true. I didnt tell her that it's because she is a narcissist. She is self-centered. It's because she has to be the victim in every scenario. It's because she is an unapologetic feminist. It's because she blames her problems on the patriarchy. Because she tries every trick in the book to avoid accepting any wrongdoing (fake apology, gaslighting, manipulation, triangulation).

Because she gets more and more selfish with time, and I needed to nip it in the bud.

Right up to the end, she was manipulating to make herself out to be the victim, that I made her suffer for 7 months, that I did it intentionally, that I duped her, that she's a little baby bird that needs to be fed, and it's insanely cruel that she has to go out and get her own worms. Manipulative to the end. My fucking God is she ever good at it, too. She is a master manipulator. She is slick as astroglide. I've never seen anyone as covert as her. But she couldn't hide it. She couldn't hide how her entire life purpose is herself. She couldn't hide her slip ups. She couldn't hide her vanity. Her strategies. She is INCREDIBLY good at making herself the victim. She can attract you to caretake her selfish needs over and over. She can convince you she deserves money, gifts, and endless praise. She says it's "our money".

I know she doesn't mean to be a narcissist. But she is one. I know she doesnt mean to hurt others. But she does. I know she doesnt mean to be inconsiderate. But she is.

It all makes sense in retrospect....

The beginning love-bombing, The low self esteem. The transactional relationships. The inability to understand platonic relationships. Relationships purely for self-esteem boosts. The victim playing. The devaluation fetish. The charm. The "as many friends as possible" thing. The excessive selfies. The demands for validation, the bottomless hole. The difficulty having empathy. The virtue signalling. The covert put-downs, breakup threats. The inability to accept fault, non-accountability. The unusual self-importance. The need for center-of-attention. The gaslighting. The projection. The "always right". The "never says bad things about others". The blame. The never-ending criticisms. The spiritual elitism. The feminism. The verbal manipulation.

[joelscruff]

so i ended up also doing tess, tommy, & ellie because i was curious, so if you're interested in seeing theirs, here u go!

tess is: chiffon

stone walls, sweaters, moths, dusty lace, animal tracks, incense, throw pillows. your essence is chiffon: your soft heart disarms those who meet you. you willingly swallow your feelings for everyone else; it is easier to hide your sensitivity. you may be a mirror, reflecting the best back at others, and not knowing quite who you are inside. you are the compromiser. you are the recaster. you find kinship in like-minded individuals of ashen, hickory, brown, and grey, who act with patience. you are also drawn to the cheerful orchid and honey, who will help you grow and discover what actually makes you happy. however, you may struggle to get along with the wild-hearted personalities of mauve and terracotta who act on their whims.

tommy is: cream

dandelions, marble, bottled coffee, hair ties, banana cream, bedsheets, sketches. your essence is cream: your openness makes you a soft and gentle companion. you beg others to hold you; the most fulfilling life is one with love and praise, safe from traitorous insecurity. apologies come easily to you -- for it is better than change. you are the tenderheart. you are the devout. you find kinship in like-minded individuals of yellow, gold, peach, and honeysuckle, who share your self-doubt. you are also drawn to the resolute blush and beige, who will help you grow and learn to find your own cause. however, you may struggle to get along with the obsessive personalities of rose and sage who demand too much.

ellie is: wine

plums, nail polish, planners, theaters, pursed lips, mosaics, sewing thread. your essence is wine: you are ruled by determination to bring your grand vision to life. you are a pillar of your chosen family; reliable and moral, there is never a situation for which you are not prepared. you are an idealist and accept nothing less of yourself. you are the activist. you are the dutiful. you find kinship in like-minded individuals of amaranth, pearl, grey, and pink, who share your need to devote to a cause. you are also drawn to the expressive orchid and mauve, who will help you grow and learn it is okay to not live up to expectation. however, you may struggle to get along with the excessive personalities of jade and fire who do not know what they truly want.

so i decided to do the 'what colour is your aura' quiz but answer all the questions as joel (or as close to how i think joel would answer them) and this was the result

joel is: ashen

old newspapers, smoke, quiet cities, pale cheeks, pebbles, chalk, the clouded moon. your essence is ashen: you are warm but vacant, an empty canvas waiting to be painted. your heart is soft; there is a peace that seems just out of reach, but it is worth striving towards. perhaps lost, you comfort yourself by what you can, and you are never unwelcome. you are the dreamer. you are the wanderer. you find kinship in like-minded individuals of chiffon, hickory, beige, and ivory, who share your aspirations for goodness. you are also drawn to the inspiring and kind lavender and peach, who will help you grow and open you to find yourself. however, you may struggle to get along with the strong-willed personalities of periwinkle and tawny who put themselves first.

ouch.

[writing-is-thorapy]

Dead-ception: Ramblings of an Exhausted Writer

”One night, I was very tired but not quite ready to go to sleep. I thought, “what if I reread Dead-ception and published my commentary here?” So that’s what this is. If you want actual, legit meta-commentary, that’s coming after the work is fully published 😉

We’re going to try this out with Chapter 1.

I recorded my thoughts while I read the chapter and have transcribed them (all of them) here. Whenever the section I was discussing was unclear, I have clarified with a parenthetical side note or quotation. 

Hope you enjoy! 

Transcript: 

Hey this is Victoria, AKA Writing_is_THORapy, and I’m gonna be reading my fic “Carry You Home,” AKA the Dead-ception AU. Um, I’m not gonna be reading it aloud, I’m just gonna be reacting aloud, and I apologize for my voice *loud sniffle* and the occasional sniffles because my allergies are acting up. Isn’t that fun? So... yeah let’s get started!

(After first section that ends with, “He had no idea it would go so wrong.”) I remember when I wrote that first part, that first section. God, I had no idea this was gonna turn out to be such a big thing. 

Damn, I kill Anakin so fast. He dies within like the first 200 words. *Laughs* Anakin’s my favorite character and he’s like... not in this. At all. 

(”He wrenches Rako Hardeen’s mask off...”) When I referenced Rako Hardeen’s mask, I didn’t remember whether he actually had a mask or not and just made up that he did but he ACTUALLY DOES so I’m proud of myself. 

(“Obi-Wan ignites his lightsaber, the blade going straight through Hardeen’s chest.”) Yeah kill ‘im, Obi!

(“Ahsoka’s lithe body...”) I use “lithe” a lot to describe Ahsoka. Like, it fits, but still...

I like that I included the detail that Anakin’s sightless blue eyes gaze upwards at the STARS. Good job, me!

Oof I love these last two lines: “For the first time in his life, Obi-Wan wished he was dead./Maybe then Anakin would still be alive.” Oof, that impact. Good job. 

I’m sorry I’m gonna be patting myself on the back a lot during this. Mainly because I’m surprised... that this is so good. *Long pause* Y’know? Haha

I like that I included Rex’s POV because, like, a lot of times I feel like with deathfics, the few deathfics that I’ve seen like, actually cover the aftermath of a death, ‘cuz I feel like a lot of times it’s just the build-up and the death itself but not a lot of aftermath, which is partially why I wrote this. Um, I feel like with ones regarding Anakin, they don’t... really cover Rex. And I mean like... I really—I really like the friendship between Rex and Anakin. I think it’s a really cool thing, and... I definitely think it’s under-appreciated, so... Rex and Anakin rights. 

(“...on the Permacrete.”) I had to look up what concrete was called in Star Wars. It’s “permacrete.”

Ohhhhh “Rex is the one who was made to die./Not his [Jedi]” except I wrote the, um, Mandalorian term but I’m not gonna try and say it ‘cuz I know I’ll butcher it. 

Oh my God do you know what I just realized??? So, um, I wrote here “Something clicks.” You know what else clicks? A GUN. Or a BLASTER. Parallels! Yeah! I know, I know that’s a stretch, but. I’ll take what I can get. 

I gotta say figuring out the logistics of this next part when the 501st arrives and gives Anakin this send-off was harder than you might think. ‘Cuz I had t—part of my writing process involves me ruthlessly poking holes in all my plot points and everything that I make happen so that I make this as airtight as possible. Um, so... finding the rationale for Rex to call the 501st over instead of like, going back and telling them... it wasn’t easy. 

Oh no! It says that “he thanks the Fox.” No! Typo! I’m gonna go fix that in the doc. And maybe I’ll fix it in the real fic later, but... I don’t feel like it right now. *Opens Google Docs on my phone* Where is chapter one? Chapter ooone? Chapter one! 

Now you’re all gonna know about my mistake. Please don’t go and find it. (SIDENOTE: You can’t because I fixed it!) You’re gonna go and find it, aren’t you? Please don’t. It’s gonna bug me enough.

Ok, let us continue. 

(Referencing Anakin’s send-off) I also had to look up a loooot about military formations and procedures, specifically regarding those, like, honoring the dead. It was interesting research. 

“It’s our turn to carry him.” Carry you home! Yeah! Cue title! Ish!

There is an extra “z” in there. Where did that “z” come from? Let’s get rid of that random little “z!” *Goes to Google Docs and pulls up chapter one*

*Searches for the “z”* 

Oh it’s not in the doc. It’s just in here. 

*Continues reading*

And I wrote “cloth” and not “the cloth!” Come on, Victoria! I’m sorry half of this is me pointing out all of my typos. 

Ohhhhh “Each step he takes feels like an impossibility he does not deserve.” Good line! Patting myself on the back! I’m sorry this seems so egotistical! 

Oh and that’s that first chapter. Uh, well... I’m gonna go fix those typos because otherwise they are gonna bug me. 

I was really proud of coming up with the Missing Man Formation for this—I didn’t come up with it, sorry—but for finding the Missing Man Formation and using it because I really like it. I think it fits really well. 

*Goes and fixes typos*

Let’s see... Where’s the part where—oh! Found it! Typos fixed! Fantastic!

So let’s see what else do I have to say about this first chapter...

Meta and stuff about the contents of the first chapter in-depth, um... I’ve been writing out meta for each chapter and it’s no where near finished yet because I have to really go through each chapter and find all the things, but I’ve started for each, just by taking the comments I had on the side of each doc. After I fully release Dead-ception I’ll start releasing that. I don’t know how I’m going to release it, I don’t know where, but I’ll release it. So... yeah. 

Bye for now!

[spiceseal]

✦✦✦✦KINKTOBER/FLUFFTOBER MASHUP✦✦✦✦

October 9: Monster Fucking. Kink. Prompt day 13

Incubus!Suguru Geto x Fem!College student Reader

Ivy's Mashup List. And Kinktober list.

Mentions- Suguru is a Demon. There’s a brief mention of a blood but nothing sexual about it. Summoning demons. Size difference, cockwarming, tummy bulge, excessive amount of cum. Uh female anatomy. Reader develops a crush over time and Geto enjoys her. Lots of talk about him being pretty. Praises. A little sad towards the end for Reader but it ends on a happier note.

Word count- 2100+ (ITS ALOT )

Notes- my first jjk fic!! :3 I gOt too into this one. Might be self-indulged but I think he’d be a pErfect incubus <3. I did start a drawing for thisss fic but I’ll have to post it later cause I want to post this now. No beta reader cause I don’t have one. So enjoy!

Suguru Geto was a highly sought out Incubus. He was flexible, adaptable; able to change sizes, or parts of him just for those dumb enough humans who summoned him. He could even alter his appearance to mimic someone else if his clients wanted. With each time, a human would summon him more often, the more he fed on their soul and soon would completely own it. At the end, he would eat their hearts out. Causal demon treats.

However, there was an expectation for a few humans that were exempted from that cruel fate. In your case, you were special. You accidentally summoned him when you were trying to summon a completely different demon. At first, you apologized profusely and made a blood offering as an apology. The notion made him laugh but he accepted the apology. Because of your slip up and your offering not being enough to satisfy Geto’s demonic hunger, he kept popping up in your life (completely out of his control too). Due to his summoning spell, the contract wasn’t completed.

He had been waiting for the day that you would need to relieve your lustful desires. Geto was beautiful and his charm would work on anyone. He was adorned in jewelry and gold, he hardly wore any clothes. Well a sheer cover for his waist for “decency”. But with his toned body and sculpted features, you should have been on your knees, begging for him to ruin you. But you never did. So Suguru waited for you to cave into his seduction but instead, you took pity for him. You were unaware of the terms and conditions of that summon spell nor did the demon didn’t flat out tell you either. Gradually, he took advantage of the situation. You allowed him to relax at your home whenever he was forced to be in the realm of humans with you. You were starting to spoil him with comforting things and your company when you went home from work or school. The desire to taste you and find out exactly how to make you cum dwindled but not by much. The curiosity lingered in the back of his mind until one late night. A night that made you special.

You could barely focus on your midterm paper. You sighed shakily at your desk. Geto was about to prepare to go home (finally). He glanced at you and raised a brow. Before he could ever speak, the scent hit him. It was a very familiar smell. It almost made the demon purr.

He watched your fidgeting body and legs. You kept squeezing your thighs together and crossing them. All that sexual frustration was building up inside of you. What luck! Geto walked towards your desk, he towered you whether you were standing or sitting. “Are you alright, Y/n?”

You flinched and looked up with a flushed face. You looked so embarrassed and adorable to him. The sight of you struggling could’ve made him drool.

“I’m fine, I just need to take a cold shower to refocus. Nothing to worry about, this paper is just a lot of work to do.” You reassured him and yourself as best as you could. Geto bent down beside your chair. You stared at the demon and felt your face get redder.

He knew it all too well. And so did you. You were entranced by his perfect face. He was so handsome. His long hair looked so soft. His eyes had a warm gaze. The dark brown color made you melt. He smelt good and looked like his skin was too smooth to be real. You glanced at his lips before looking at his eyes. You had always found him attractive but you always tried to push those feelings away since he was there doing a job. But you couldn’t hold back anymore. “You should let me help you ‘refocus’. I’ll be better than any old cold shower and a toy. Do you want my help?”

You nodded without hesitation before leaning forward and desperately kissing him. The action caught him off guard but it showed how desperate you were for him. He cupped the back of your head and kissed you until you felt dizzy. His tongue licked over your lips briefly. With each kiss, you felt yourself getting wetter. Geto opened an eye to see you rocking your hips at nothing. He hummed in amusement before placing his hand between your legs. His palm was pressed flat against you. You whined against him and despite knowing you’d never do this, you were grinding your hips against his hand.

Geto pulled away from the kiss to watch you hump his hand through your pants. “Y-you tease..!” You pouted at him and desperately held onto his wrist to get more fiction or pressure or anything. Your hips were no longer moving in a good rhythm. He laughed before standing up. You were about to protest and beg but he practically picked you up like a doll before setting you on the bed. “Don’t worry, I won’t tease you… for right now.” Geto removed your clothes. He licked his lips as he stared down at your nude body.

He flicked one of your nipples just to watch it harden. Geto cupped your breasts before squeezing them and rolling his thumbs over your nipples. The demonic man was completely enamored with your chest and honestly enjoying the action. You on the other hand, had a build up of a need to cum immediately. You bit your bottom lip before glancing at his waist. “I don’t think I can wait through foreplay..” you mumbled to him.

“Ooh? Alright then.” His voice was enough to make you melt. It was deep and suave. He never sounded upset or annoyed with you. “Do you have a preference on how you want me to look? I can sound and look like anyone you want.” He asked as he removed the coverall from his waist. The sheer fabric did hide specific “details” but his toned thighs and the sight of just how large he was, snapped you into reality. Even his cock was pretty. It made your mouth water and your heartbeat quickened.

“Holy shit.. I-I want you to look like you.. I like you for you..” you said after swallowing hard. You kept admiring his body and how amazed at how every inch of him was perfect.

Geto chuckled before pushing you to lay down. He sat between your legs and prodded a few fingers into your needy hole. “Will you let me try to fit it all in?” He cooed at you, you nodded without much of a thought. The action caused you to blush darkly and your mind wandered if it would even fit. Despite those thoughts, you replied.

“You can do whatever you want to me..” Your words were music to his ears. Almost in relief, Suguru grabbed your legs and pressed his hands on the back of your knees. To him, you looked delicious, with your body exposed and legs spread for him. As much as he was dying to taste you and tongue-fuck you, he obeyed your wishes.

You assumed you were going to be in pain for the sheer size and girth of that. Maybe it was the fact that he was incubus and could make it painless? Something you’d have to ask him later. Your body still reacted to his touch. But he took his time with you, to stuff you full of his cock. Geto wasted no time to drown your voice out with his lips. His hips movements were slower as he ease you into it more. The sounds he drew out of you with each stroke were memorizing.

Suguru found the way that your body reacted and adjusted to him was beautiful. Your legs trembling, your warm fluttering walls clenched around his length in just the right away. Your hands clung desperately to his back, and the way you whine for his lips to be on yours. The way his cock gave you a stomach bulge. The fucked out expression on your face. It was all too much for him. It was almost like a human was seducing for him for once.

You tried so hard to hold off on your orgasm but the way he was ruthlessly pounding you and his moans sent you over. You cried out in pleasure and tried to cover your face in embarrassment from coming so fast. Feeling your gummy walls clench around him made him groan out. Nonetheless, Geto praised you. “Don’t hide from me, Y/n. You looked so pretty coming on my cock. Please do it again for me, beautiful. You can do that, yeah?” You nodded quickly at him.

Sadly, you couldn’t last as long as he wanted all night. Your orgasm and your body sensitive sky rocketed from him fucking exactly how you liked it. Being in a post orgasm hazy, you let him lazily cockwarm you and pump you full of cum.

Geto was spooning you, he pressed kisses against your neck as he held your thigh up. His cum was dripping and oozing out of your cunt as he tried to fuck more into you. His other hand was squeezing and pinching at your nipple. You couldn’t really remember the sweet praises he mumbled into your ear. But all you knew was that you were completely in heaven. Geto thought your attempt to keep up with him was sweet.

In the morning, you woke up sore, sticky, sweaty and alone. On top of that, your midterm wasn’t done either. A part of you was sad that he was gone. A part of you was thankful since he wouldn’t have to be there while you cleaned up. You did your best to carry on as normal but you were left bed ridden for a while. The next few days, he didn’t show again.

You were craving his touch but ultimately, you missed him too. He became a part of your daily routine. You debated on summoning him again. While contemplating, you decided to read the passages about him and his contract. Giving up your soul and letting him eat your heart out outweighed the need to see him again. He was a demon after all. So… you gave up on him. Or at least try and hope that someone would be able to satisfy even half of your sexual needs like he could.

When that failed, you gave in and summoned him once more. You sat on the floor across from the summon circle. You glanced up to see Suguru Geto sitting before you. You smiled at him before inviting out of the summon circle.

Geto was more than pleased to see you again. He had been waiting on you to bring him back. He thought- well he hoped that you would have summoned him back immediately. But you didn’t until that moment. Quickly, he crawled over you and pressed kisses against your lips.

You pressed your hand to his chest to stop him. You stared up at the man to take in his features again. This time looking at the one that specifically made him like a demon. His pointed ears, the horns, tail, the cat like claws? He was massive and despite his charm, was deadly. You frowned and looked into your eyes. “Are you going to kill me after I cum?”

“What-?” He laughed at the first thing you decided to say to him. Geto quickly realized the very concerned look on your face. “To answer your question, no. I can guarantee your soul won’t be mine and I won’t kill you. Unless you ask me too.” That only seemed to bother you more from his perspective.

“Does that mean I’ll never see you again?” Seeing you look sad or almost hurt was troublesome for him. Normally, he would've lied and given the person false hope. But for whatever reason, he couldn’t do that to you. He couldn’t pinpoint why he couldn’t. Whether it was because he liked what you had to offer or that he liked you didn’t matter at the moment. Whichever reason seemed to fuel him to be honest.

Geto simply chuckled and shook his head. He cupped your face with one hand, “I promise, this won’t be the last time you see me. Maybe not as often as before, but don’t worry about that now. I’m here, aren’t I?”

You couldn’t help but smile at his response. “Okay, yeah… you’re right.” Geto returned a smile before kissing you once again.

Some visits were definitely horny and other visits were softer. Suguru Geto made an exception for you. He cherished your soul in a different way <3

[lowlights]

Just Right (Part 2 of 2)

Thank you for your patience with this one, my lovelies. I got most of it done and decided to scrap about 70% of it and start again. I feel really happy with where it landed, and I hope you do too.

Just Right Pt. 2

WC: 3.6k

Pairing: Din Djarin x curvy f!reader

Warnings: excessive amounts of body worship, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, PinV sex (no protection, but she's covered ok), praise, usage of good girl, description of a curvy girl's body (but it's really pretty vague), self-doubt associated with weight issues, Din is a big boy, some tum love, lots and lots of kissing. They broke the seal on that and they're never gonna stop.

**

Part 1 • Masterlist

**

“It’s not, you know,” he says as he examines the ankle that is very clearly starting to swell.

“It’s not what?” you ask tentatively. “It’s not sprained?”

“It’s not too much. You’re not too much.” He looks up at you, sighing. “You’re just right.”

Your breath catches and you think your heart might have just fallen down into your stomach. The silence stretches between you before you respond in the smallest voice.

“Really?”

He sits down next to you on your cot, taking one of your hands in his. You look up at him and find him inches from your face. He leans in slowly and presses the softest kiss to your lips.

“Yes, really. Will you let me show you?”

~~~~

“Yes.”

Your voice is soft with emotion and disbelief, but your conviction is strong. You want him to push all of the negative thoughts from your head, the ones that have been rooted in there for more years than you care to think about. You want this, but the butterflies in your stomach are starting to feel like lead.

Din smiles at you and you lose your breath; he’s so handsome it almost hurts. He leans back in to kiss you, a little more forcefully this time. You smile into the kiss and you feel like your insides are starting to do backflips. However, before you have a chance to deepen the kiss, he pulls back.

“I need to fix you up first, okay? Gotta grab the bacta,” he says resolutely, returning with the little medkit before you can even process that he’s left. He crouches in front of you on one knee, slowly pulling off your boot and ripping the leg of your ruined pants up so that he can better access your ankle, now blossoming a sickly purple. He lifts your leg so that it can rest on his bent thigh and gets to work. Opening the small tube of bacta cream with a flick, he pushes some out onto his finger before delicately rubbing it into your skin.

“Din, you don’t need to waste the bacta on me,” you say, trying to contain a wince as he presses against your injury. He mutters an apology before going in with the thumbs of both hands, carefully massaging your ankle and foot before moving up your shin.

He leans down to press a kiss to your knee before looking up at you with a serious gaze. You reach out and stroke his cheek with one hand, and he immediately closes his eyes and leans into your touch. Your brain is firing in all directions, eyes bouncing from one gorgeous feature to the next, and the urge to kiss him again is overwhelming.

He opens his eyes to look at you. “I’m going to take care of you, and this is part of it,” he says quietly.

He gives a nod of approval as you cautiously roll your ankle around, the bacta cream already starting to work. Din stands and starts to pull off the rest of his armor, stacking it neatly on the cot. You watch, mesmerized and silent as you watch his strong hands expertly remove the beskar. You’ve never seen him without at least some of his armor on, and to watch him bare himself for you like this is one of the most intimate things you’ve ever witnessed.

Your breath quickens when he kneels back down in front of you. He pulls at the edge of your torn tunic between two fingers, directing your attention to where his hand rests on your thigh.

“I think it’s time to get you cleaned up. Is that okay?”

You nod, and he gives a small smile of relief as he moves to take off your other shoe before standing and offering his hand. You gladly take it and awkwardly stand up without putting too much weight on your leg. Din does most of the work, pulling you up easily.

“Oof, sorry,” you say with a nervous giggle as you stumble into him. He steadies you before leaning down for another kiss, gentle and tentative again. Like he’s worried he’s going to scare you. You stand on your tiptoes- not to reach him, but because the metal of the ship is ice cold under your bare feet. Din breaks the kiss when he notices you uneasy.

“Ankle?” he asks, looking down with worry.

“No, just cold floor. Sorry,” you mutter.

Din takes one look at you and swoops down, again picking you up bridal-style. You make a surprised sound, and that panic swiftly overtakes you again. Din walks you out of the room and down the long hall to the ‘fresher. You have one arm around his shoulder for support but are almost arching out of his arms, as though you could somehow hold up your own weight. Make it easier on him. Even though you know it’s ludicrous in your mind, you can’t help it.

After a couple of moments of you fidgeting in his strong arms, your mind screaming with embarrassment, Din stops dead in his tracks and looks at you.

“Hey. What are you doing?” he asks without a hint of anger in his voice. He sees the wild look creeping back into your eyes, the frown etched deep into your face. Your brows are pulled tight with concern and he resists the very strong urge to kiss away the tension. The feelings from before - too much, too much, too much - are on repeat like a drumbeat in your head.

“I-I just…shit, sorry,” you whisper under your breath, trying not to cry.

“Take a breath, mesh’la, and stop apologizing. Look at me,” he commands gently. You stare at him, biting your lip.

“You’re worried about me carrying you,” he says, matter-of-fact.

You nod.

“Do I look like I’m struggling?”

You slowly shake your head. No.

“Do you think I can’t handle it?”

Again, you shake your head. When you first started working with Din he would come back from his jobs and tell you about what happened (the parts he could, anyway), and you thought he was exaggerating. Until you saw it yourself, him throwing around large men like they weighed nothing. Standing here in this quiet hallway he isn’t shaking or shifting his weight, nothing to suggest that he is uncomfortable.

“Do you think I would let anything bad happen to you?” You catch the warble in his voice.

Your head doesn’t move this time, but your eyes well up with fresh tears. Din would never let anything happen to you if he could help it.

“I’ve got you.” It’s a promise, a reminder, and a prayer all in one breath. He needs to hear it just as much as you do.

You relax into his arms as Din starts walking again. In the ‘fresher, he sets you down easily against the sink and turns on the shower to warm up. He kneels down to help you peel off your pants, hands caressing the back of your legs as he does so. He doesn’t let his hands travel under your tunic like he aches to do, standing to his full height instead to look at you. He seems almost… nervous, you think to yourself. You let your hands rest on his chest as you try to make sense of the look in his eyes. His impossibly dark eyes hold so many unspoken feelings, so many words that he should have said before he thought he had lost you. But there’s something else that you see in his eyes too.

You see the look of someone whose resolve is about to break like a rubber band that’s stretched far beyond its limit.

His hands skim up your sides and he takes a deep breath. He’s about to open his mouth to ask the question you know is coming, but you want to be the one to ask him.

“Will you help me, Din?”

His mouth is on yours in a second, hands tangling in your hair as he presses into you against where you lean against the sink. You don’t know if you want to laugh or cry at how good he feels as he trails kisses down your neck, and you settle for smiling as you throw your arms around his shoulders.

Din makes quick but gentle work of your dusty tunic, lifting it over your head after you give a nod telling him that it’s ok. It lands on the floor and is quickly joined by his clothes, leaving you both in your underclothes. You pull off your breast band and resist the urge to cross your arms across your stomach or cover yourself in any way, but you do take in a shaky breath as Din’s hands come to rest on your hips.

“Good?” he asks.

You nod, and Din lets his fingers dip under the waistband of your panties before dragging them down your legs and tossing them aside. He pulls his own dark green compression shorts down and kicks them off before gently directing you towards the small shower. You step under the warm water first, letting the spray run down your body. Din steps in behind you, his chest pressed against your back, as he closes the door behind him.

He makes a noise of disapproval, and for a moment you’re concerned. He must see your body tense because he kisses you on your right shoulder before telling you, “You have some cuts back here from when you landed on your back. They’re not bad, but I need to clean them.”

You hand him the soap, letting your chin rest against your shoulder as he starts to gently wash you. No one has ever done anything like this for you, and you imagine that no one has done it for Din either. You make a mental note to return the favor next time (if there’s a next time), but your brain sputters as Din works his hands lower and lower down your back.

His hands kneed at the base of your spine, which he has noticed you rubbing more than once lately. You moan and lean back into his touch, and over the spray of the water you can hear him curse under his breath.

“Fuck.”

You feel your heart start to beat faster, quickening with every passing second. The air feels thick, but you don’t think it’s from the steam of the hot water. Just when you think your heart might beat out of your chest, Din leans up, crowding you against the wall.

Against the shell of your ear, he says, “Turn around.”

You comply and throw yourself against him the second you turn. Both your hands and Din’s are everywhere, pulling each other impossible closer and grazing along hot, wet skin. His mouth is fused to yours, urgently exploring with his tongue. He’s a tiny bit clumsy but so are you, and somewhere in the back of your mind you register that both of you probably don’t have a ton of experience in this area. That makes you feel a little bit more relaxed.

Din breaks away from you so that he can lather his hands up again and start to wash the front of your body, reverent hands treating you with delicate care. That little voice starts to whisper in your mind again that you should feel ashamed, but it quickly shuts up when Din kneels down and starts to kiss along your full breasts. He takes your nipple into his mouth and alternates between sucking and kissing, and you tangle your hands in his hair.

“Shit, Din. Oh, stars that feels so good.” It occurs to you at this moment that he doesn’t care in the slightest if your tits have stretch marks or your nipples point downwards, he is clearly loving the fullness of your breast in his mouth. If the way he is kissing a path down your tummy is any indication, he doesn’t care about the shimmery stretch marks found there either or the curves he is encountering.

He reaches your mound and drops kisses there also, before lifting your leg with the ankle injury to rest over his shoulder. He sucks your inner thigh, wet with water and your own arousal, before looking up at you. You guide his face to your aching sex and immediately gasp at how good his tongue feels on you. He’s dragging his tongue between your folds, immediately drunk on the taste and the breathy moans you’re letting out.

You don’t know how long you stand there, water beating down on your back, before his tongue lapping at your clit makes your belly tense up. “There, oh god, right there, right there,” you beg as electricity jolts up your spine and you arch against his greedy mouth.

Din keeps his mouth on you as you shudder and shiver against him, partially from the aftershocks of your orgasm and partially from the water that has started to go cold. Din helps you slide your leg off of him before standing up and turning off the water. You pull him in for a lazy, blissed-out kiss and moan at how he tastes of you.

“Alright, pretty girl, let’s get you dry. Then I can really take care of you,” Din says as he reaches for a big fluffy towel, one that had shown up after you you admired them in a market one day. He wraps the towel around you and starts drying you off.

“You haven’t taken care of me enough?” you ask with a dreamy smile. Din shakes his head.

“Not even close.” He pulls you against him, towel still wrapped around you, and you feel the evidence of his desire pressing against your belly. Din quickly takes the towel and dries himself off as much as possible between the hungry kisses the two of you are sharing. When he picks you up this time, you happily let him lift you so that your legs are around his waist and you can keep kissing him. There’s no hesitation, no feelings of insecurity or fear or doubt.

Din walks back towards his room, which has a bigger bed, but stops halfway. He pushes you into the wall, trapping you between it and his body with your legs still firmly wrapped around his waist. His hands dig into the flesh of your ass and you can feel him rutting up against you as his hips start to move.

“Can’t wait, I-I need you,” he chokes out. You cradle his face in your hands and shake your head.

“Bed, baby.”

Din grunts out in frustration and walks back to his room as quickly as he can, getting completely distracted and burying his face in your cleavage as he goes.

When he puts you down on the bed so that you can lie back, you have the chance to really take him in fully for the first time. His wet curls are already starting to stand up in all directions, which might be the cutest thing you’ve ever seen. His eyes are dark and his perfect lips are swollen from your kisses. You see freckles dotting his neck and chest and you wet your lips at the idea of tracing them with your tongue. His strong arms, the ones that carried you without any problem at all, look even broader from this angle. A strong chest slopes down into a soft belly, and you smile at how much you love it.

Maybe you’re starting to understand what he feels when he looks at you.

His large hand is gripping his cock, giving it a few tugs as he stands over you. Even in his hand, he looks…big. So much so that you get a little nervous. But those nerves aren’t in charge of you anymore.

“C’mere,” you say with a whisper, shifting your legs wider and holding out your arms for him to lie down with you.

He starts to kneel on the bed and crawl towards you, but he stops. He’s in awe of how gorgeous you look. Relaxed and happy, the memory of the orgasm he just gave you still crawling up and down your body. No walls up.

His.

“Din?” you ask, arms dropping down.

“Sorry, I just…you’re so pretty. You’re beautiful,” he says, sincerity evident on his face. You should know by now that Din just says what he means.

“Get down here, I need you,” you say with a bashful smile. Din finally listens, settling in between your legs and caging you in with his arms. His stomach rests against yours and for the first time in your life, you find that you love the feeling.

“I, um…don’t know if I can take you. I’ve never been with anyone so…big,” you confess. “Or with many people at all.” You hold your eye contact with him.

Din leans down on his elbows and gives you a sweet, comforting kiss. “That’s ok, sweet girl. We’ll work through it together, okay? I’ll get you ready,” he says. Leaning back on his knees, he peers down at your cunt with hunger in his eyes. “I just want to put my mouth back on you, but I think you need my fingers this time.”

You nod eagerly, and Din repositions himself so that he can work you open with his thick fingers while he goes back to kissing and sucking on your neck and tits. He whispers praise the whole time, telling you how perfect you’re being for him and how he can’t wait to be inside you. After several minutes and a soft, rolling orgasm, he knows that you can take him.

He’s so ready for you, practically dripping pre-come on the sheets below. When you tell him that you’re ready he wastes no time guiding his cock through your wet folds, notching himself against your opening before slowly starting to push in.

He’s big. You try to remind yourself to breathe while Din murmurs more praise against your neck. You can’t help but clench up, walls clamping down on him. He’s only about halfway in, you realize.

“It’s ok, mesh’la. Take your time and breathe for me. I know you’re going to open up so good for me, aren’t you? If it hurts, we stop,” Din promises. You take a few breaths while you cling to him, and after a moment or two, you start to relax around him.

“That’s it. Good girl. So good for me,” he praises. You mewl with pleasure as the feeling of fullness turns from discomfort to satisfaction, and it spurs Din on as he slowly pushes until he is fully sheathed inside of you.

“I’ve wanted this for so long, you don’t know,” he says, starting to thrust back and forth.

“Oh god, Din, I thought it was just me,” you say as you throw your head back with a moan. He moves faster and faster, pace building as he pushes your knees even further apart so that you can take him deeper. He snaps his hips against yours and you feel that tingly feeling that makes your toes want to curl start to build.

Your warm skin on his is intoxicating, along with Din’s sweet words and obvious care for how you’re feeling. Your own orgasm that comes after a few minutes of Din’s increasingly frantic motions triggers his own, and he spills inside of you with a long and low moan. When he collapses on top of you, you hang on to him like a lifeline and scratch your nails up and down his back.

Neither one of you say anything for a few minutes. Din is content to stay inside of you as he softens, his cum spilling out slowly as he rests his head on your chest. You’re happy with how he feels on top of you, both just melting into each other.

Din finally pulls out of you fully and you shudder a bit at the sensation. Immediately you miss the fullness. He gets a warm cloth to clean you up before pulling both of you under the blanket, the chill of space setting in. You cuddle up against his side, one leg thrown over his, as you rest a hand over that soft little tummy of his.

“How long?” you wonder quietly.

Din looks down at you, eyebrow cocked with a question.

“You said you had wanted this- me- for so long. How long?”

Din sighs, and you give him a moment. “Since I came back from the first hunt that you took care of the kid. You didn’t hear me come up the ramp and you were singing to him. Telling him that I would be back soon and that you couldn’t wait to see me,” he says quietly. “I missed you - both of you - the whole time I was gone but I didn’t think that maybe you were missing me too. Even just a little bit. You were so good with him and I just…wanted to be with you all the time after that.”

“Oh, baby, I missed you so much. From the very beginning,” you say, slotting your lips gently against his. “I never thought you would want someone like me.”

“I only see you, mesh’la. You’re all that I want.”

You smile at this sweet, protective, caring man who is looking at you like you hung every single star in the sky.

“You’ve got me, Din.”

**

A/N: I love them, okay? And I firmly believe that Din loves without judgment and accepts people just as they are. I think that after the events of this day, she pulls many more confessions out of him of all the times that he's been yearning for her. She's going to share her own too, and make sure he knows just how much she loves his tum. Along with all the rest of him.

[littledellprince]

Marc Spector as a regressor 🖤

🖍 apologizes frequently

🌘 needs down time/alone time after regressing

🖍 well behaved but became more playful and/or fussy as he got more comfortable with you

🌘 his nicknames for you: Baba, bubbi, miss/mister, mama, toot toot (/ref).

🖍 your nicknames for him: bub, little bud, baby boy, bean, little moon, honey.

🌘 prefers his thumb over pacifiers. He chews on his shirt hem or sleeves a lot as a replacement to a teether when he’s nervous.

🖍 has a bedside chest of toys. He mostly has toys and activities he missed out on in his childhood. But You buy Marc more modern things as well and he’s totally in love with those too.

🌘 needs calming music when upset

🖍 his regression is mostly involuntary and easily negative without supervision. That said, he often has breakdowns.

🌘 I cannon that he has a petspace as well

🖍 he likes onesies a lot but it took you a LONG time for him to be comfy wearing one around you willingly.

🌘 Steven usually has the body while Marc is his tiny self because the outside world can be very scary for Marc. When you’re around though, he’ll come out.

🖍 loves when you play with his hair or help him bathe (he either loves or hates bathtime so its helpful to ease him into it first). That said marc also cant stand being cold or sit still for the life of him.

🌘 he tries not to call you cg nicknames but fails miserably.

🖍 marc gets frustrated with himself pretty quickly, especially when he struggles to communicate. He gets aggravated with his babytalk and when that happens, you grab him a notepad to write on instead of talking.

🌘 also has accidents at times like Steven, but it takes an excessive amount of stress.

🖍 Oh boy does Marc love praise and being babied.. especially when he’s having trouble fully regressing, he doesn’t even need to say he needs help before you’re already making him slip.

🌘 LOTS of upset stimming (sometimes they are self harmful- you and Steven work with him to accommodate for those.)

🖍 Marc is pretty giggly, he loves when you read him silly stories or tell jokes to cheer him up.

🌘 Enjoys watching TV sometimes but would rather get attention from you and entertainment away from devices.

🖍 bedtime routine all the way ; its particular to helping him ground before bed so he doesn’t have night terrors and only sleep in increments.

🌘 when he’s small, the boys usually go through a lot of switches before Marc is fully regressed and okay on his own.

🖍 enjoys playing games like hide and seek and educational activities

🌘 ^ expanding on the above, his education experience was very easily something he wanted to claim back; he has a bunch of learn-to-write books, activity booklets, worksheets, coloring sheets, and word searches.

🖍 Marc likes ‘class time’. Since he likes learning, You two came up with a little routine when he’s small for you to hold a school activity. Homeschooling if you will. You act as a teacher and him a student). You teach him things within his current age range, you quiz each other on said learned subject, you have crafts projects, building activities, ‘individual work’ time, etc.

🌘 loves crinkly sounds and rattles, so Marc just lovvess those sensory cubes. He also enjoys sensory bins or sandboxes.

🖍 Always wants to show you, Steven, or Layla drawings he’s made. You all always hang them up.

🌘He has no cg preference. Layla happened to be his previous caregiver (/pos) and still often babysits!

🖍️ this should totally be at the top but his age range goes from 1 years old to 9-10 years old. Although his common headspace is around 5-6. Marc experiences regression due to trauma, stress and other reasons! I cannon he has a petspace as well.

･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* : ☆ﾟ. ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.

[yunhohours]

MTL: TXT Dating a Timid, Self-Conscious S/O

Request: mtl in tomorrow x together to like dating a timid and self-conscious gf please <3 <3

A/N: I made this gender neutral <3

Most

Yeonjun

Dream boyfriend for a timid/self-conscious person :(

He balances you out with ease

But he also doesn’t expect you to be any different than you are

He’s happy to be the one to take the lead or even speak up for you when need be

Always makes sure you’re comfortable and that you never go unheard

If you’re around others and he even senses you feeling shy or self-conscious, he’ll quietly ask about how you’re feeling where no one else can hear and look directly into your eyes to know you’re telling him the truth

He doesn’t want you to try and hide your feelings for his sake

Encourages you to voice your needs/wants/concerns by asking you direct questions often

But he phrases them and looks at you in such a way that you feel comfortable sharing them with him

If your insecurities are physical, he’s the type to go the extra mile of leaving precious kisses on them or grace them with tender touches in an attempt to make you associate them with love

If your insecurities are anything else, he finds a way to make them positive for you

“I don’t think you’re awkward, but so what if you are? All that does is weed out the ones that can’t handle how special you are.”

the rest under the cut!

Hueningkai

Kai does a perfect job of understanding your insecurities without putting too much focus on them

He doesn’t think about them often unless they become relevant

Which is actually quite nice because looking out for you is nice but you don’t always want to be reminded of your insecurities either

Unless you are very obviously upset or you tell him how you’re feeling directly, he’ll probably assume that everything is all good

Which means you can let the moment pass without dwelling on it if you so choose

If he is faced with an insecurity of yours, he sings your praises and recites his list of reasons that you’re the Greatest Thing Ever

It always makes you laugh because the list goes in the same order every time aka it’s a great tension breaker

If you’re timid, he thinks you are the cutest 25/8

He loves to see you blush and the way you cling to him when you’re feeling a little overwhelmed

It makes him feel good that he can soothe you and that you trust him

He’s quick to offer to do things for you so you don’t have to be uncomfortable for a single second

“I’ll do it for you, y/n! You just stay right there like an angel as always.”

Beomgyu

We all know he’s the first one to hurt your feelings on accident ok let’s get that out of the way

He’s playful and loves to tease so naturally he’ll probably strike an insecurity of yours without meaning to

But when I tell you he feels so so so SO bad about it :(

His face would drop and he would immediately switch off play mode so you know he’s being sincere with you when he apologizes

He would kneel in front of you and hold your hands in his while he looks into your eyes and apologizes over and over, telling you how much he adores you all the while </3

He would make a serious effort to be more careful from then on, always gauging your mood before he jokes with you and making sure he steers clear of any sensitive subjects

Beomgyu can make a person feel more beautiful than anyone else change my mind

He does play a lot but that means that when he is being serious, he’s being really serious

If he tells you that you did a good job or that you look incredible in that low, comforting tone of his with no hint of playfulness to his voice, he means it with all his heart

And that makes you feel like what he says must be true

Loves having a timid s/o :(

It gives him the opportunity to be extra playful in an attempt to get you to join him

If you’re feeling a little reserved about doing something because of your shyness or your insecurities, he’ll act excessively cute because he’ll know it’ll make you laugh

“Oh y/n, don’t you want to come with me? Look how cute I am!”

Soobin

Panicked But Adores You Pt. 1

Okay panicked is probably a harsh word but he’s concerned ok

Soobin does well with people that are assertive and self-assured since he is most comfortable taking the more passive role

That being said, he IS capable of being the more assertive partner if his s/o needs him to be

He actually finds himself quite charmed by having someone look to him so much because let’s be honest his members have no problem being who they are very loudly

Compliments every part of you he can think of all day long because he doesn’t want to give you a single second to feel insecure about anything

Does a good job of taking care of you at all times, but he’s better at doing it when you’re alone

When others are around, he can get so absorbed in everything going on that he doesn’t realize right away when you’re uncomfortable

The second he does, his eyes go wide and he’s On A Mission to do whatever it is that will make you most comfortable in that moment

When you’re at home and he thinks something is on your mind, he makes cute faces at you and looks into your eyes, trying to telepathically pull it out of you without having to ask directly soobin pls

It doesn’t work because what is he even doing but by the time he has to ask the question, you’re smiling and laughing from how cute he is aka more comfortable to open up

“Y/n… what are you thinking about right now? Tell me please.”

Taehyun

Panicked But Adores You Pt. 2

Taehyun is less concerned about you being shy and more concerned about you being self-conscious

He knows his members can be… a lot

He’s worried that they’ll say something to you in jest that will hurt your feelings

For that reason, he watches conversations carefully and tries to make sure they don’t go in a direction that will make you uncomfortable

He makes a mental note of the things that seem to make you feel better and employs them as needed

You feel cute in x style of clothing? He’ll buy you that style of clothing. Your favorite snack helps you feel more at ease? Surprise he has some on hand.

Cannot understand why you’re self-conscious because you’re obviously perfect like hello???

But he doesn't make you feel ridiculous for it because he knows you can’t help how you feel

Still doesn’t overdo it with compliments because he wants them to feel genuine when he does give them

Doesn’t want to risk you thinking he’s “just saying that” because he’s not

Instead, he just combats any negative self-talk of yours and provides encouragement before you have to do anything stress-inducing

“You’re going to do great today. You’ve prepared so much and I am proud of you.”

Least