#I am used to this shit tbh
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Starting to realize you may be aromantic, talking it out with a friend you have been close with for years, someone you've been talking to every day for years, because you need help to figure out yourself and you aren't sure yet. Turns out that person is in love with you and instead of helping you out to find out who you are, they try convincing you that you aren't aromantic and when you point that out, they leave you throwing away all those years of a caring friendship 🙂🤌🏻
#aromantic#I am used to this shit tbh#bye bye ig#I am not even sure if I am but if a person is so quick to leave with no hesitation because of that ig they don't really care that much
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
i was gonna do this meme with the original format then a much better came to mind
#stranger things#erica sinclair#dustin henderson#idk if they have a friendship name#i am usually v good about not cross tagging but bc these are literally the least popular characters so byler and max will be tagged bc byle#is popular and bc i produce so much max content it evens out lol#max mayfield#byler#dustin and erica being mlp friends is so special to me btw#also 4 those not familiar w/ the mlp g1 naming conventions these names makes sense#technically there was already a pony named ribbon but it's hard to find a single word girly concept or item that they didn't use#and the boys were named shit like quarterback and barnacle so i feel like dragonslayer is in character for dustin and mlp#also if it was the original format i would've used like lucas or steve but i also couldn't because they would also think erica's ponysona i#cool and want their own tbh
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
im gonna start a fight; and, at the same time, i need you to take this in the most good-faith way possible, but:
videos that involve body-checking and intentionally (and uncritically) show a mealplan of an unhealthy number of calories are just a revamped version of pro-ana food diaries.
and yeah, i know there's arguments. i address some of them under the cut. but at the end of the day, we're just coming back to romanticizing mental illness; we've just found a better platform for it.
this is already something we've done. we knew it was wrong and tried to stop it. and tbh. it just wasn't enough.
there are people who argue "well, what if you have an eating disorder, you can't help it if you don't eat!" except that as someone with an ED; we are not infants. we know what we're doing. part of having an ED is that you are like, maybe too self-aware. even if we can't help our own food choices, we don't need to fucking romanticize the disorder - something we've been warning you about since 2013. there are hours of setup, filming, and editing that go into these videos. they do not happen to fall into place randomly. there is a reason they are pieced together to be beautiful, bright, inspiring.
there's this woman who pretty much only posts daily plans under a normal amount of calories, and everyone defends her saying but it's better than nothing! and i'm like. except she opens those with images of her showing off her body and provides no context in the video or caption that suggests that she believes what she's doing is unhealthy. she has hundreds of thousands of followers on a platform designed for young kids and teens. i refuse to believe that by accident her content just happens to be cheery advice on "healthy" versions of starving.
for any other symptom of mental illness, we would be incredibly enraged by this kind of placid acceptance of a "tips and tricks" fast-start guide. imagine if people posted pink & pretty videos saying "best places to cut yourself" as if it was a fucking storytime. we, as a society, are so fucking fatphobic that we would rather accept blatantly harmful displays of self harm than admit that we are obsessed with a hyper-thin body type.
i am not suggesting someone never talks about their disorder. i talk about mine. actually, it's a plot point in my book.
here's the difference: i recognize it's a fucking mental illness. i am very careful to never mention a specific weight, eating pattern, or calorie plan. i always make sure to position it as something that ruined my fucking life. i do not put cheery music in the background and hearts and sparkles over my worst moments. i do not film it in bright light. i do not start each passage with an image of a thin body followed by "here's how to look like her."
eating disorders should not be framed as aspirational. and the problem is that society worships the "after" image, so long as you don't get too sick. there is a reason so many people who quit being "influencers" will later admit - i wasn't eating well that whole time; an obsession with food was completely destroying my life.
we let any uncredited, uncertified person write the most backwards, fucked up shit about how to get the body you desire! because the underlying, secret belief is: well, at least they're thin! and the real thing that fucking gets me each time - they make fucking money off of it. their irresponsibility and societal harm literally pays off for them.
"why do you care so much." "don't like it don't look." "so what if people experiment with new ways of thinking of food?"
thank you for asking. we're about to get extremely personal. it's because when i was 18 i discovered "thinspiration"/"thinspo." and it absolutely influenced, shaped, and codified my pre-existing eating disorder. i went from having some troubling habits and traits to being incredibly unwell within what felt like a matter of days. there were actual pages designed to train me on how to have an ED correctly. it was all so suddenly easy. i was sick; and the nature of the illness meant - i wanted to be sicker.
it takes an average of 7 years for a person to fully recover. i know this personally - even now, 10 years from the worst of it, i still fucking struggle. i am so much happier now and i eat what i want and i literally don't think about food at all (19 year old me would shudder) and yet - i still fucking know the calories of plain toast with butter.
an eating disorder is one of the deadliest types of mental illness. over 1 in 4 people with an ED will attempt suicide.
and i'm sorry. i just do not see the exchange rate of "high rate of engagement" versus "the value of a human life."
#and there's something else in there about like ....#tbh once i got over something like 1k followers#i stopped being specific about my ED for a REASON.#yes on ur personal locked blog that u use like a diary go ahead etc#but we are OBVIOUSLY not talking about that. we're talking about the sheer NUMBER of people i could be talking about#in that one paragraph. that you and i probably were thinking about 2 different influencers#bc they get to say that they're just posting FITNESS and if it's FITNESS it's OKAY and im like#jesus christ lord almighty#every person in recovery from an ED: this is incredibly dangerous holy shit do you know how much this would have triggered me#each of these ppl: how dare you!!!!!!!!! i am only harming those who WANT to engage with my content!!!!!#their followers: leave them alone !!! they can't help that they make an hours-long choice to frame their disorder as if it was#fucking cottagecore !!!!#like girlie this person needs THERAPY#again! i didn't even have that large of a following before i IMMEDIATELY deleted any specific mention of calories food etc#bc i recognize responsibility and i didnt EVER want to even ACCIDENTALLY encourage this#and im not even GETTING PAID FOR THIS!!!#aND THEY ARE!!!#something something something they know this content makes them money#they don't give a SHIT about u babe
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Bow problems (+ other nonsense)
#saroart#dead cells#the beheaded#the collector#they just wanted a nice bow#the collector can do a lot of stuff but i don't think he's good at bows#i was drawing a lot of antagonistic beheaded/collector content so i wanted to do some more cute junk#okay a lot is an exaggeration. still#need some guys being buds content sometimes#weird monster guys doing domestic shit is my favorite genre#i got a bonus at holiday time and im tempted to buy a tablet i can use portably#esp because holy fuck i don't know how to draw anymore#but also i just spent stupid money on tickets to live podcasts so i probably shouldn't#unrelated im very upset today because fucking UPS didn't ring my goddamn doorbell and so “”missed me“” and couldnt deliver my specialty meds#why must i get my meds through ups#because the us is a hellscape and i am beholden to my health insurance company#ups who has literally never managed to get a package to this apartment#tbh im stressed as fuck about having to go through this every goddamn month
171 notes
·
View notes
Text
I still wonder…
Like. Seb’s document said he broke out while he was being transported
where was he being transported *to?*
Were they just changing where he was contained in the Blacksite? Doubtful given he was still given free enough reign to work on equipment during that time- he probably could’ve just moved himself, maybe with guards
Was he going to another site entirely? It’s implied Urbanshade has multiple sites even if Hadal is one of the main ones-
Were they going to sell him off? I mean- Urbanshade has a history of putting anomalies up for auction, both the Limited Time Imaginary Friend document and the Abstract Art files mention them selling off anomalies they don’t have a use for that aren’t something worth Neutralizing (or the other way around, too useless to sell), we know there’s other companies out there who’d probably have Use for a giant mutant- likely things that wouldn’t be good for him either like some kind of military use/Rich Weirdo Collector type stuff also
Did he even know? He waited 10 years to enact his plan- was it just the first chance he got, or did something happen?
#thinking about the Fish again#sebastian#sebastian pressure#sebastian solace#pressure roblox#roblox pressure#lore spoilers but like- fairly well known ones-#cough* sidenote I am once again making my standing position that Urbanshade is not SCP they are Marshall Dark and Carter- like.#Mixed with Chaos Insurgency and some SCP/GoC (maybe more the latter bc they tend to destroy stuff they don’t find useful? Idk-#I only know some SCP tbh#but like anyways-#The SCP foundation is kinda Fucked morally esp. depending on who’s writing them#but they at least have a philosophy they stand by#that being that anomalies are to be contained but also preserved/not destroyed without reason#(at least in most cases)#whether you consider it to be for better or worse is up to you but they *have* a philosophy#Urbanshade’s JUST in it for the money.#like. they don’t give a shit. They sell off anomalies frequently. they destroy anything not of use to them#they’re the scummy military-tech company of the anomaly world#HELL- EVEN *LOBOTOMY CORPORATION* HAD A GOAL AT THE END#IT’S **HARD** TO BE WORSE THAN THEM-
63 notes
·
View notes
Text
I can't remember if I've posted abt this before but regardless: I'm sorry but I really and truly cannot get behind the idea that there is any wide-scale societal "pressure for trans men to be feminine" or "to be twinks" or whatever. You are either conflating a very small online community's beauty standard (usually some kind of transmasc pseudo-appropriation of "femboy" aesthetics, which yes, are often Bad and regressive and fetishized and etc.) with Mainstream Society, or confusing society not wanting trans men to transition with "wanting trans men to be feminine", which are certainly not the same thing. Ultimately if a cis person believes there is any validity to the concept of being trans (i.e. not a Posie Parker-esque "there's no such thing as a trans person" type), they are more likely to think that trans men should be like as masc and buff and hairy as possible or whatever bc that's what cis people think men look like and it's easier for a lot of people to recognize someone who Looks Masc as a man. It is difficult sometimes to see derision of trans guys who are Too Feminine and Not Hairy Enough or whatever (which is not always something someone has control over btw) as anything but "this is Skye who I think is a confused little girl because Skye does not pass" slightly restyled for 2023 "filthcore fagdykes" or whatever lol
#and btw 'twink' is not synonymous with 'skinny' that's not all it means i am so so so tired of seeing it used that way#i am also tired of like Positivity Posts for 'bears' needing to be based on derision of 'twinks'. get over that!#open mick night#lgbt#gender#god this is like that post where op is like It's sooooo hard being a trans girl who wants a vagina bc that's not the mainstream :pensive:#is it not? mainstream society decided women can have dicks? since when?#let men be masculine or whatever#sorry i know i've been talking abt this a lot lately but yknow it Is difficult. given the way i look and all that#like people keep saying that elliot page tweet was Actually About Body Type but like. is it? or is it about I Don't Think Elliot Page Passe#also tbh people say the same shit abt cis men. 'people are okay with Fem Queers(tm) but not Masc Queers(tm)' wow are they? since when?#and are the people telling men they're not allowed to be masculine in the room with us right now
399 notes
·
View notes
Text
The thing that Targaryen antis either don’t or can’t understand is that in spite of all the discussions, discourse and arguments (& moral conjecture): I simply love dragons and mentally ill women with great hair sorry if you can’t relate
#house targaryen#antis do not interact#house of the dragon#asiof#hotd#daenerys targaryen#rhaenyra targaryen#haelena targaryen#some of you take this shit wayyyyyyyy too seriously and way too personal#like if you wanna act like your mommy daddy grandma and grandpa were enslaved and murdered by the Targs#I am happy to report that has happened 0 times#is it really so controversial in a fantasy series to be fascinated by magic using dragon riders?#tbh wish there was more material on dragon riders and their bonds#and if your response to this post is more than 8 words know it’s NOT that serious#people are allowed to like things you don’t without it being that deep 😊
72 notes
·
View notes
Text
It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ngl as a small business owner who puts out something extremely pirate-able and who has never earned enough to make a pay check, this...
...is extremely upsetting.
Do y'all realize that most small business are maybe a handful of people? Do y'all realize that company's like LLCs exist to protect owners from legal and financial repercussions if the company falls apart? I'm not a company because I have stockholders, I'm a company so that if the business goes bankrupt the banks can't seize my fucking house. It's not evil to use existing legal structures to protect my family's assets. It's not unreasonable to ask people not to steal from businesses like mine.
It's like on Tumblr when it's One Artist or One Author Doing The Thing Themself you guys are all about it but the minute anyone tries to collectivize to do better we go from One Person Against The World to The Embodiment of Capitistic Evil with no in between, which is especially insane coming from the website that claims to think individualism has turned toxic and we should do more with community organization. The minute lots of people are involved in a business, there HAS to be legal structures like contracts and shit to protect the people involved. The Lone Creator Forging a Path is great for that one person. What about everyone else?
And so... some of us try to make a company to lift up a group.
And then I see shit takes like this.
Maybe. Maybe DONT fucking pirate from literally anyone just cause they've got the word "company" I'm the name?
Maybe remember that for small businesses, yes even when they're a company, there's a single person, or a family, or a group of friends, who are working their asses off to build something, and actually? Stealing from them makes you a FUCKING DICK.
Like. You realize we're just people right? Other regular people trying to survive the dystopian hellscape that is the now?
Maybe stop acting like you're automatically entitled to the labor and creations of others solely because you've decided that there is an entire huge category of people it's okay to steal from.
Like honestly. What the fuck.
#unforth rambles#i get that a general post isnt about me specifically#but yall realize that in the same way that saying certain things about appearance causes splash damage to everyone who shares that appearan#saying shit like this does splash damage to people like me#well i didnt MEAN a small place like yours i meant disney#well thats not at all what op said and i am definitely included in what op said#i know how hard i work and the people like me work#and i guarantee that even if some people reblogging this mean big places plenty dont and they feel validated by this#idk if our stuff has been pirated i refuse to check#but i intentionally dont use drm because fuck thwt noise so its certainly possible#and considering i work 50 hours plus a week and have never gotten paid while trying to build this into something sustainable#i think maybe you can appreciate why this shit pisses me off so bad#i am the splash damage on your piracy is cool oh but i didnt mean from you hun kinds of posts#if there are truly times you dont think piracy is okay maybe stop reblogging posts that say its always okay#also apologies to the mutuals who reblogged rhe above#i know you dont mean me but tbh that doesnt mean it doesnt hurt
97 notes
·
View notes
Text
just so you all know i am just straight up never going to be cool or perfect ever. im always going to be lame and a bit weird at times and im going to fuck up SO many times actually. i am also going to be a pussy and not stand up for shit, so please don’t get mad at me online ever cuz i cant assure you that if that happens i won’t delete every trace of my existence and never go online again out of fear
ok thank u!!i see people expecting wayyy too much of other people online and like…im not the person you wanna expect anything of. you all build an opinion of me that’s like 10000x better than the actual me and that’s great I’m not complaining but my line of good takes is going to end one day or another because i cannot believe ive gotten this far, and when i make a bad one i need you to not get mad at me thanks
#im so scared ill make a bad take and y’all will do a 180 on me#this is like the first time ive ever been even#SORT OF ‘popular’ online#(don’t consider myself it tbh but some do???)#and it’s SCARY#because by all definition I’m just some lame ass weirdo!!!!#and you think I’m so much cooler than i am!!!!#i used to be the person who butt into conversations others would have awkwardly#or who made posts that got 0 notes on average#with my biggest post being 18 notes#this is so weird and surreal and scary#having people like my stuff or care about me online#weird shit#people who LOOK UP TO ME???#insane.#i don’t get it!! or understand!!#I’m autistic (surprise surprise) and having people LIKE me is unheard of#willddd shit#it probably seems small to others#im not like. insanely popular#or highly well known#im not a figure by any means necessary#but#enough people like me to make a difference#a good one! but a scary one#idk aaa#this is gonna be an 8-noter boys i can tell#at best
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
in MDZS the novel, the innkeeper in Yunping mentions that people are too scared to go petition Yunmeng Jiang for help because someone once walked in on Sect Leader Jiang whipping a guy in the main hall, supposedly because the guy was a demonic cultivator.
#mdzs#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#jc apologism#anyways as you can hopefully tell by now this is a jc stan blog.#so as a stan i will do my rightful stan duty and insist that my fave did nothing wrong#so. onwards. the “jiang cheng tortures demonic cultivators” claim is interesting on several levels#because we don't see it happen onscreen. and because thematically mdzs is a book about the unreliability of rumors#especially when said rumors conform to your preexisting understanding of someone. or what you want to hear about someone#it would have been so easy for mxtx to include a scene where jc tortures a demonic cultivator onscreen. i would love to read it too#but that doesnt happen. when jc actually corners wwx he just shoves a dog in his face and bullies him emotionally#smh jc get your shit together!! what is this lame ass display?? not living up to your reputation here loser#anyways. tbh i consider two things separately: 1. mxtx's intentions. and 2. what the text itself implies#for 1. i am legitimately unsure of what to think. mxtx relies on rumors/empathy/etc to give us info about side characters#in part because she's constrained herself to writing from wwx's perspective and has no other easy way of getting the info to us#does she intend for us to question the rumors? or are we supposed to take them as fact because of the narration limits described?#2. what the text itself implies is not necessarily the same as what mxtx intends.#for me mdzs is in part a story about the unreliability of rumors and reputation etc etc. other meta writers than i have explained it better#so for the work to go “all the rumors about wwx were exaggerated/manipulated/not 100% correct.”#“but the rumors about everyone else are 100% true!!!!!”#is peak stupidity. and shit-tier writing#and i actually like mdzs so i would like to believe the writer is more intelligent than that#thus. i conclude in part due to this emotional necessity of mine that there must have been something more going on#anyways. i have similar opinions about the “did jiggy kill rusong” business but that's a post for later#ill probably put my jc torture opinions in their own post some day#yanyan polls
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
The new LN lore just dropped
#little nightmares#little nightmares 2#the lady#the thin man#thinlady#my art#I'd say that I'll be banned from this fandom but tbh#I have drawn so many cursed shit with LN that at this point you guys are used to it#I do not regret anything#I am not sorry
145 notes
·
View notes
Text
thinking about frank and sex (in a sad way)
#marvel#frank castle#the punisher#not as in about sex with him but like how hes portrayed in relation to it in the comics if that makes sense#hes just always so deeply uninterested not just in the women but the act itself too like#so many times hes like. not pressured thats the wrong word but like i can think of at least two times i saw#where the women just kinda. walk themselves into his bed. and hes like 'eh idk about this' but then just kinda does it anyway#like i imagine the writers intended for this to be like a cool guy thing yk like ah he gets so much action and he DOESNT CARE cuz hes COOL#but ME personally i cant help but read it like. god idk i dont want to say him letting himself get used and using them in turn#theres this expression 'going through the motions' that kind of feels right here but idk how to explain it#hes just so weird about it. every time. in my mind i cant imagine him ever really wanting it very much#like maybe to feel good sometimes but its never. idk am i making sense am i just saying shit#is he gay asexual missing his dead wife or just so so fucking traumatized and dead on the inside that his body is just an object now#so many fun ways to interpret this#<guy who is not having fun interpreting this#wish i could just project my thoughts into your heads so youd see exactly what i mean cuz i dont feel im verbalizing this well enough#god take a shot every time i say 'like' or 'just'. youll be off your face from this post only#i may be making shit up tbh idk the thought struck me out of nowhere while i was looking at the ceiling
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
just rewatched the episode of justice league unlimited when circe makes bruce sing “am i blue?” in order to turn diana back to normal and my sappy little brain is now thinking of bruce singing his boys lullabyes.
like think - a nightmare of dick’s gets too bad. he watches his parents fall to their deaths over and over and he can’t stop it. he wakes, screaming, and bruce dashes in and is caught off guard when dick’s sobbing into his pajamas. it’s the first thing he thinks of so he hums, low at first, but then he starts quietly singing the lyrics to some lost jazz song from the great american song book as he holds dick and within those three minutes, dick’s out like a light.
then comes jason. he gets a little too reckless in the field and he’s got himself an injury, a pretty bad one too. normally he sucks it up and takes the pain on like nobody’s business but maybe this one is just a little more painful. he’s just too tired and is now just an exhausted kid who’s emotionally overwhelmed. and he cries. cries like he’s never cried before. he’s in a lot of pain and wants it to stop. but then comes bruce with his gentle melodies and deep voice and suddenly the pain isn’t so bad anymore.
(thinking about how after the whole death and revival thing and maybe jason and bruce are on shaky terms and while he’s not exactly clamoring to be with bruce, he buys himself a dandy little music box containing a song a certain someone use to sing to him and the first time he hears the melody, he sheds some silent tears. he listens to it any time he just needs to be calm. don’t tell bruce)
or there’s tim who doesn’t no when to say no (to staying up late, that is). three, four days go by and he’s still at a case he can’t just crack. he needs to sleep and he knows this but he’s this close. eventually he can’t keep trucking and he passes out all over his assortment of files and clues. he’s found drooling on one file and bruce resolves to just carry his kid to bed. he starts humming snd singing while he helps an unconscious tim get ready for bed. what bruce doesn’t realize is tim woke up when he felt the altitude change of being carried. bruce’s singing voice becomes one of tim’s favorite sounds in the whole world and he resolves to hear it anytime he can.
then we get to damian. he’s in a new environment, he doesn’t really trust much. then the unthinkable happens: he gets sick. its so remarkable cause he’s never gotten sick before. or, at least had someone to care for him. it’s some pesky little flu bug but it hits hard. he tries hiding himself away, not wanting to be seen as weak. in the middle of the night, he throws up. it hurts like a bitch. his stomach pushes but there’s nothing left to give. damian finds he can’t stand and bruce finds him. damian tries shooing him away, he doesn’t want to be seen as weak but eventually he just stops. he’s tired. he throws his head back down in the toilet and bruce lays a hesitant hand on his son’s back. when he’s not pushed away, he rubs soothing circles. again, he’s not dismissed. then, he sings. through the blood pounding in his ears, damian hears his father’s voice above the noise. it helps quite a bit.
that got longer than expected. i will now be listening to “am i blue?” on repeat. kevin conroy you are so loved and so missed.
#batman#bat family#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#i really dont care how ooc this might seem i love sappy family shit#my dad used to sing to me maybe thats why this makes me emo#bruce wayne#justice league unlimited#diana prince#wonder woman#lowkey a sucker for wonderbat in my youth#still am tbh#my headcanons
46 notes
·
View notes
Note
Asking because I’m extremely curious about this, how did MonProm’s writing get different over time? I remember you saying that the lore and characters feel different, and that it's missing sincere character interactions, too. I know almost nothing about the lore and I’ve only seen a few people mention the characters, so I’d be interested in a rundown of what aspects you think got worse in the series
I wouldn’t mind a very long response since I’m not that active in the fandom, I need to catch up on what happened
sorry for taking so long to answer this! i kinda waffled on it for a long bit, mainly because i started doubting myself again, and whether or not this was me simply overreacting or being tinted by nostalgia or simply being extremely picky and choosy in what i like (the last of which is true, i seldom get into fandoms at all for this reason and stay away from most popular media, but i wasn't sure if it applied here). i've posted about it already, but i'm in the middle of a psychotic episode where i can't feel a lot of pleasure to begin with + most things i do experience ending up solidly in the "very bad" category, so as you can imagine, i really didn't want to mislead and check that i was actually in objective reality.
as it is, this is also when a lot more screenshots started to be posted in the monster prom tag, and that helped me bridge the gap back into returning to the games themselves and feel like i was making a more accurate judgement. if you're one of those people who have been posting screenshots, i sincerely thank you, and i appreciated seeing you in the tag greatly.
for those not in the know — i've been in the monster prom fandom since it first released, prior to even the first additional ending to be added (the "Punch the sun" ending, and i recall the minor fandom drama that happened at that time due to it). my impression of monster prom is very much influenced by this, as what got me into the first game was the fact that the characters genuinely seemed to care for each other and were friends with each other (not merely tolerating each other's presences nor dressing it up, they sincerely thought of each other as friends and were open about that fact), on top of the wide variety of small details and statements that, if taken at face value, could create compounding complexity in the lives of each and every character and had wider implications for their lives.
no, they were not necessarily explored nor even necessarily "real", with so many conflicting events and statements, but i liked this too, because it meant a wider flexibility in what you could imagine, helping to create a more tailored experience for everyone who thought about these characters. this was what i liked about the early fandom too. what was baseline "canon" was so vague and minimal that you could have wildly different interpretations of the same characters' histories and relationships with each other. you would have radically different perspectives on what the world itself looked like, what it was like, that there wasn't really any wrong answers so long as their personalities remained the same. this is where you got the old headcanon of polly and liam being childhood friends who knew each other as humans, or that the world of monster prom was post-apocalypse where humanity itself had gone extinct or only existed in tiny pockets, or my personal headcanon that both monster and human society existed right next to each other and had minimal crossover for petty cultural reasons. this was also prior zoe-as-ro, and there were wildly different interpretations of zoe's personality, with most going for a far more disquieting creepy-cute than the deep nerd we got.
this is why you get stuff like the timeloop theory, where everyone is repeating the same weeks leading up to prom over and over, and are perhaps vaguely aware of it but broadly unconcerned. this is also why it felt like the joke that, the characters were still in high school but were all fully legal adults with most in their 20's, best landed, because it was absurd and strange and didn't quite make sense, but the world itself was inherently absurd and semi-malleable to begin with. realistically, i felt like everyone understood it was making fun of the trope of having adults play teenagers in american sitcoms and wildly casting outside the age range, but for more in-universe explanations it wasn't any different from the way that you would have a large, dramatic ending in which everything changed, but then you'd restart and everyone would be right back at the beginning with nothing different, or even having conflicting events in the same run. it was a dream-logic that fit with the tropes and, thus, diagetically made sense.
to be clear, i don't mind canon having a set, well, canon on which it refers back to itself. i don't mind expanding that or including more things which are set in stone. but there was a perceivable shift in how the games handled this over time, becoming a lot more... bitter, it felt, towards all of these different branching ideas and concepts that, yeah, the people making them knew wouldn't necessarily be "canon" because "canon" already liked to contradict itself so much. most people weren't even sold on any one idea, and there was a much greater sense of enjoying and appreciating all the varying ideas people would come up with even if you personally didn't share them. making the characters be out of character was the real crime, because then it didn't diagetically make sense in the same way, didn't wholly fit.
(again, this is not to say fanon didn't happen and characters weren't smoothed down into a simplified personality that fit these varying fan-interpretations instead of the game itself. certainly damien love/lust was just as bad as it had ever been, and everyone loved to mangle his character into a more stereotypical "bad boy with a heart of hold" all the time. but it certainly felt less set-in-stone about it than it does now, with any deviation from the norm being considered strange and odd and even broadly shunned from the wider fandom.)
all of this is setup for establishing what the writing, lore, and characters felt like in the earlier days. the characters were the strongest part, with their relationships to each other being equally as important. the lore played it fast and loose and was far less interested in setting anything in concrete because that wasn't the important part. the lore wasn't the important part, which was what made it all the more intoxicating to think about, all the more fun to play with.
montrip is easily the biggest offender when it comes to setting everything in all-or-nothing terms and demanding absolutism from the world. broadly i blame the hitchhiker conversations for the worst of it, but i think ultimately the way they handled the entire premise of the game is where this problem stems from. it's not really an exploration in the same sense that you might explore the first game, discovering different perspectives and different people with different relationships to each other. it's an exploration in the sense of a sequel that over-explains the monster, that takes the most boring option out of all those that were possible and floating around and settles on something that was blatant, obvious, typically rejected not because of how novel it is but how trite and par for the course it is in the rest of the genre.
yeah, okay. humans know nothing about monsters and there's a "monster dimension" that exists separately from the human dimension. there's no crossover between the two of them. of course there's a big grand-scale fight between the eldritch powers that zoe used to be a part of, from which not only are slayers the main organization against them, but also the merkingdom has some horse in this race too. it's an urge to make things so universal in explaining them, in revealing connecting threads which unite everything that's ever happened in here, that makes the worldbuilding and lore immediately much more boring than it ever was before.
and it didn't have to be this way! nothing in the first game contradicts any of this too explicitly (see the above, the first game loves to contradict itself), and i would even be happy if this was basically canon but never stated or confirmed to be the big overarching everything going on underneath it all. i believe you should probably know these things about any world that you create and have them in the back of your mind. the difference is that you can know these things and keep them in mind, even focusing on things where its very relevant, and still not reveal them. this is why you have lore bibles, after all. every horror writer knows exactly how their monster works and the full underlying reason for everything that happens, but that doesn't mean the audience will see it or possess this same information too, and leaving it intentionally obscure will make far better stories.
which, this is bad enough, but it wouldn't be the breaking point for me if this was all there was.
but the worst thing of all has to be the slow decay of the very same characters that sold me on this world, this lore, this game in the first place. monster prom is nothing without the characters in it. it's a dating sim, it has nothing but characters to get you to play, and liking these characters are the entire reason anyone would pick up monster prom in the first place.
and the first game pulls this off extremely well. it's all in the tagline: be your worst self. they are, indeed, all terrible people. yes, even that character that you just thought of right now. they all have points in the game where they commit atrocities, where they kill or hurt people, where they do inexcusable things that could not be ignored in a more serious setting.
but that's the point. i think there's something very powerful in creating a character who not only do you love and love their personality and the way they interact with the world, but who also are inapologetically terrible, and to have the humor and the charisma be so good that you don't get bogged down in the "this is awful". likewise, it never feels the urge to really go out of its way to justify what's going on. this is not to say theres no discussion of if someone "deserved it", but usually there's still the sense that the joke is on them, that this is still an extreme reaction specifically for comedy and not necessarily something that can be justified. you can have damien set leonard on fire and have it feel earned, without prompting the needed reaction of what it's actually like to watch someone burn to death.
this is what sets the prank masterz ending apart from the rest of the game, and really establishes it as the first real "bad ending". because nothing that you do or happens in the prank masterz ending is any different from anything else that happens in any other run. you summon evil beings from other dimensions as a throwaway gag on how visiting one location raises your stats. you kill other people and damn them to terrible fates. you watch as body horror happens. the only difference is that, in the prank masterz ending, the laugh track doesn't play.
the rest of the game and the writing echoes this philosophy, this careful interplay of tropes that keeps everything tongue in cheek and yet sincere enough to make sure emotional beats still land when they're needed. the characters feel true to themselves and their own emotions, even when the world is extreme and excessive, when everything else runs on comedy logic.
this is also what i noticed failing first as time went on.
like i said, fanon has always existed and there's always been very specific ideas as to what characters are like in the same way fanon always flattens down characters into the same tropes over and over. scott is stupid and innocent and doesn't know what sex is. damien is violent and hot and too cool for anyone else. miranda is the idiot girl character. repeat over and over and over until you get sick of it.
but it's been an issue as time has crept on that canon has started to approach fanon and began to merge with it. now, scott is so innocent that he can't even curse. polly starts being mean to her friends and saying things that would be very hurtful to hear. the merkingdom isn't really super evil and fucked up, it's just miranda that's like that. they become simpler, easier to digest, streamlined for social media posts and mass-sharing. they become less and less subversions of existing tropes and moreso just another example of them, something else to add to the collection, not their own individual stories.
even further from this, what more complex traits they had are now stated and not shown. polly is stated to be smart and clever in a way that her party girl persona doesn't imply and to be sincerely rather down to earth with the people she cares about, but we seldom ever see this anymore unless its the game specifically trying to make a point about it, in which case it won't let her do anything that implies cleverness and moreso will just outline it in the narration. vera is stated to care for people in a very genuine and heartfelt way, but seldom will get a chance to do so, and every opportunity for her to do so to their faces is missed while she will just outright state it later. it does not feel consistent, it does not feel like any of these are intended reads of their actions. it feels like the devs have something they want to do but no idea on how to actually do so. and forget it if you want these traits to manifest in small ways that show up in unrelated moments and scenes.
the dialogue becomes harder and harder to tell between each speaker, if you are just looking at what's said and not at the pictures attached to it. the characters' distinct voices have been eroded away, so that they speak more and more like each other, relaying the same terms and ideas in the same words. perspective becomes a suggestion, instead of a must.
this is something that started back in monster camp too, as all of the endings in that game felt ultimately the same as every other ending. it's very hard to place or define the full reason why, why there feels like there's no emotional stakes nor investment, why everything feels moreso like selecting different coats of paint and trying to find all the different ending pictures rather than being interested in exploring the characters as characters.
stranger yet, the series that started with the tagline of "be your worst self" has experienced a kind of... softening, for lack of a better word? what i mentioned about being able to handle the balance between terrible people who do terrible things and the light tone of the game starts to change, as abruptly the same characters who were down with violent murder in the first game start to lose their nerve, acting more and more on more typical morality. it's one of those things that feels like it's starting to damage the tone, as abruptly it's not as absurd as it used to be, demands less suspension of disbelief which could buffer and support the rest of the setting on it. there's even a part in one of the endings in montrip which involves current-polly and current-scott looking back on their monprom selves and reacting in horror at how violent and careless their pranks are, in a way that fundamentally felt like it was undercutting and disparaging all the things that felt fun and made monprom what it was.
which is odd, really, because more and more i feel like the characters in these games like each other less and less. the friendships and genuine enjoyment of each others company that brought me to this game in the first place has gone. now they don't mention each other as much, don't care for each other's feelings and reactions as much, aren't as willing to support each other. they are more and more found on their own, relied on their own, seem to seek out contact and interaction with their own friends less and less. it feels like they're all separating out into their own worlds, but also feels like they wouldn't willingly want to interact with each other if they weren't already forced together by some other outside contrivance.
if anything, i'd compare it to every other dating sim out there, where you, the player, are the most important person in these characters' lives, and they only feel ambivalent or antagonistic towards every other character. which, again, is not why i picked up monster prom or why i liked it so much in the first place.
and it's because of this that it feels like the current state of the series has to focus on its increasingly weak worldbuilding and lore, trying to form a more serious foundation without character relationships being so tightly bound together, without the characters themselves being more developed and rich, without an aspect of absurd humor to rely on.
more and more i've noticed monprom has to rely on referencing other series to make itself funny and create humor, which, again, it's always done. it was just easier to ignore back then, if you didn't know what was being referenced, because there was always more going on in the exact same scene to bolster it and give context clues as to the setup and punchline at play. it feels like the current games are much more dependent on you knowing pop culture references in order to have any fun with it, and i'm someone who, again, is very picky in what i like or what i'll seek out. i'm not interested in a stream of references about other things that i would much rather be doing than playing through a game that feels like it hates that i like it at all, when i could, again, just be engaging with the thing that takes itself seriously and knows what it wants.
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#monster prom#asks#vanillabeenflower#this is. so long i am so sorry.#and its still not my entire thoughts because i have so many thoughts#this is an unedited ramble tbh and im very sorry for that#i have more complaints like#how fucking snide and condescending the narration is to its own characters#which it already had but gets even worse in the later games#which is why despite loving aaravi i dont want to play moncamp at all#where a character says they like something or feel something and the narration has to be so. sarcastic about it?#like how i mentioned about how it feels like how its looking down on them as people#instead of whats probably the intended read which is#more jokingly calling them dumb in an affectionate way like how you might do with friends#and ofc theres the whole miranda rant#i hate what theyve done with the merkingdom and i HATE adrien as a concept i wont lie#just. cool. this female character is too stupid to count as a lore character. we obviously need a MALE character to fill in instead#we cant just have miranda talk about this or center any of the other female characters#and how they feel about this and whats going on for them#no we need to make up a new man to talk to instead#im. im still really bitter about it i wont lie.#like i said i could go on and get way more specific about it#i just feel like any and all emotional weight to this has died and the characters are more and more obviously actors on a stage#for your own self gratification rather than their own people living their own lives#this is so bitter and i really shouldnt put this in the main tag#i am so sorry everyone who will see my rant. but my peace must be made.#dont worry im already asking myself if im just making all this shit up myself#what if some of us liked that the characters were so mean to the player and had no qualms about aggressively rejecting us#because it gave some illusion of them being able to make their own choices and decisions in what they wanted
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
daily whistlepaw until grr becomes PoV day 1368
that event from last night might have affected me more than it should
#warrior cats#whistlepaw#windclan#medicine cat apprentice#warning; it isn't fun (homophobia/hatecrime stuff)#short explanation for the people who don't follow all my personal posts on main#my friend/crush and I were walking back from a bar at two am. ran into far right freaks who were already drunk#they thought we are lesbians (I am. don't think my crush is...) and they began spouting homophobic shit at us.#I didn't care about that but I did fear them DOING something#and was genuinely prepared to fight that bunch of dumb boys to protect my friend#I hate to think about everything that could've happened differently if my friend had been there alone#if they had decided to actually hurt us#if anything really...#we're both okay luckily (I did get out of that night with a bruise courtesy of my friend but tbh I find it amusing)
11 notes
·
View notes