#I am used to this shit tbh
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Starting to realize you may be aromantic, talking it out with a friend you have been close with for years, someone you've been talking to every day for years, because you need help to figure out yourself and you aren't sure yet. Turns out that person is in love with you and instead of helping you out to find out who you are, they try convincing you that you aren't aromantic and when you point that out, they leave you throwing away all those years of a caring friendship 🙂🤌🏻
#aromantic#I am used to this shit tbh#bye bye ig#I am not even sure if I am but if a person is so quick to leave with no hesitation because of that ig they don't really care that much
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Okay can I be a bitter Anders fan for like. Just 2 minutes here lmao
Cause bioware released some game stats for veilguard and apparently 72% of players redeemed Solas which is like. Okay yeah the game kinda pushes you towards that. But when I think of all the shit I used to have to put up with just for enjoying Anders like at all and…
(This is not me being anti-Solas, I do not care if you love or hate him, but I am gonna say what he’s done is like. Objectively worse than literally every other companion so lmao. And that’s fine! You can still enjoy him! I’m not saying you can’t and it’s important to me that people understand that! I’m just saying he did in fact do objectively morally worse things in game than Anders did and I don’t think that’s really debatable. And I can’t really make my point here without saying that but I do want to make it clear this is not some moral condemnation of Solas enjoyers cause it’s not)
Getting anon hate on the regular, being told “oh you’re allowed to like Anders as long as you regularly talk about how much he sucks”, people gleefully describing how much fun they have killing him ON your posts about the fact that you like him, the devs making jokes about shitty fates for him when fans asked innocent questions about him, the absolute audacity of his writer to say half the shit she did in interviews (about bisexuality and mental illness, most critically), and then being beaten over the head again in inquisition about how Anders is the worst character to ever exist and there’s no redemption for terrorists who lie to you one time in the entire game and he deserves death or worse and that’s it
And now… 72% of people are down to redeem the guy who lies to you for 2 games straight and who did a lot of questionable things that includes creating the fucking blight and. Like. I guess I’m glad that Solas fans can live in a world where they aren’t constantly harassed and can give their ship like. A pretty damn good ending all things considered. And that the devs love Solas and actually give the option for that happy ending and have characters go to bat for Solas throughout the game and the most annoying thing they have to see are people making scrambled egg memes. I would not wish anyone to have to deal with the shit Anders fans had to put up with back then cause it sucked. It really sucked. And I’m glad it’s not being repeated with a different character, if nothing else
But like. Man there really is a difference when the writers actually like the character who does the thing, huh
#shut up nerd#anders#I’m sorry it’s just. really hard to not be bitter tbh#like the shit we as fans went through#just for liking a damn character#tbf I do actually think if the game came out today perceptions would be different#I think people would be more comfortable with revolutionary action now than they were then#but even still#it’s not even about that you know#it’s about people (both fans and at times the actual devs) being mean when they really didn’t need to be#and the DA trenches are probably why literally no harassment phases me anymore lmao but#that’s not a good thing slskd it’s just a useful consequence I guess#so yeah idk#am I jealous that Solas fans get to have a better experience?#yeah I can’t deny I feel a bit of that#but I’m also just. idk tired and sad for what that time was. and also glad that it seems to be over#but also a little bitter that I had to go through it when it didn’t need to happen at all#idk just feeling a lot here in this chili’s tonight lmao#(why do I say that I don’t think my country even has chili’s)#ANYWAY#dragon age#veilguard spoilers
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i was gonna do this meme with the original format then a much better came to mind
#stranger things#erica sinclair#dustin henderson#idk if they have a friendship name#i am usually v good about not cross tagging but bc these are literally the least popular characters so byler and max will be tagged bc byle#is popular and bc i produce so much max content it evens out lol#max mayfield#byler#dustin and erica being mlp friends is so special to me btw#also 4 those not familiar w/ the mlp g1 naming conventions these names makes sense#technically there was already a pony named ribbon but it's hard to find a single word girly concept or item that they didn't use#and the boys were named shit like quarterback and barnacle so i feel like dragonslayer is in character for dustin and mlp#also if it was the original format i would've used like lucas or steve but i also couldn't because they would also think erica's ponysona i#cool and want their own tbh
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kajclahvhajfhbajjdhkajd’vkeh?&?!/);&(??&$/ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i promise i will never ever shut up about this race suit... no one loves this design like me and no one ever will🙂↔️goddddd LOOK AT THEM🫠🤩
#formula one#f1#carlos sainz#carlos sainz jr#charles leclerc#cs55#cl16#1655#f1 2024#f1 teammates#charlos#f1 fireproofs#race suit#monza 2023#italian gp 2023#idk if this was used anywhere else tbh#but i am obsessed#holy shit#i will never shut up about this
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I can't remember if I've posted abt this before but regardless: I'm sorry but I really and truly cannot get behind the idea that there is any wide-scale societal "pressure for trans men to be feminine" or "to be twinks" or whatever. You are either conflating a very small online community's beauty standard (usually some kind of transmasc pseudo-appropriation of "femboy" aesthetics, which yes, are often Bad and regressive and fetishized and etc.) with Mainstream Society, or confusing society not wanting trans men to transition with "wanting trans men to be feminine", which are certainly not the same thing. Ultimately if a cis person believes there is any validity to the concept of being trans (i.e. not a Posie Parker-esque "there's no such thing as a trans person" type), they are more likely to think that trans men should be like as masc and buff and hairy as possible or whatever bc that's what cis people think men look like and it's easier for a lot of people to recognize someone who Looks Masc as a man. It is difficult sometimes to see derision of trans guys who are Too Feminine and Not Hairy Enough or whatever (which is not always something someone has control over btw) as anything but "this is Skye who I think is a confused little girl because Skye does not pass" slightly restyled for 2023 "filthcore fagdykes" or whatever lol
#and btw 'twink' is not synonymous with 'skinny' that's not all it means i am so so so tired of seeing it used that way#i am also tired of like Positivity Posts for 'bears' needing to be based on derision of 'twinks'. get over that!#open mick night#lgbt#gender#god this is like that post where op is like It's sooooo hard being a trans girl who wants a vagina bc that's not the mainstream :pensive:#is it not? mainstream society decided women can have dicks? since when?#let men be masculine or whatever#sorry i know i've been talking abt this a lot lately but yknow it Is difficult. given the way i look and all that#like people keep saying that elliot page tweet was Actually About Body Type but like. is it? or is it about I Don't Think Elliot Page Passe#also tbh people say the same shit abt cis men. 'people are okay with Fem Queers(tm) but not Masc Queers(tm)' wow are they? since when?#and are the people telling men they're not allowed to be masculine in the room with us right now
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im gonna start a fight; and, at the same time, i need you to take this in the most good-faith way possible, but:
videos that involve body-checking and intentionally (and uncritically) show a mealplan of an unhealthy number of calories are just a revamped version of pro-ana food diaries.
and yeah, i know there's arguments. i address some of them under the cut. but at the end of the day, we're just coming back to romanticizing mental illness; we've just found a better platform for it.
this is already something we've done. we knew it was wrong and tried to stop it. and tbh. it just wasn't enough.
there are people who argue "well, what if you have an eating disorder, you can't help it if you don't eat!" except that as someone with an ED; we are not infants. we know what we're doing. part of having an ED is that you are like, maybe too self-aware. even if we can't help our own food choices, we don't need to fucking romanticize the disorder - something we've been warning you about since 2013. there are hours of setup, filming, and editing that go into these videos. they do not happen to fall into place randomly. there is a reason they are pieced together to be beautiful, bright, inspiring.
there's this woman who pretty much only posts daily plans under a normal amount of calories, and everyone defends her saying but it's better than nothing! and i'm like. except she opens those with images of her showing off her body and provides no context in the video or caption that suggests that she believes what she's doing is unhealthy. she has hundreds of thousands of followers on a platform designed for young kids and teens. i refuse to believe that by accident her content just happens to be cheery advice on "healthy" versions of starving.
for any other symptom of mental illness, we would be incredibly enraged by this kind of placid acceptance of a "tips and tricks" fast-start guide. imagine if people posted pink & pretty videos saying "best places to cut yourself" as if it was a fucking storytime. we, as a society, are so fucking fatphobic that we would rather accept blatantly harmful displays of self harm than admit that we are obsessed with a hyper-thin body type.
i am not suggesting someone never talks about their disorder. i talk about mine. actually, it's a plot point in my book.
here's the difference: i recognize it's a fucking mental illness. i am very careful to never mention a specific weight, eating pattern, or calorie plan. i always make sure to position it as something that ruined my fucking life. i do not put cheery music in the background and hearts and sparkles over my worst moments. i do not film it in bright light. i do not start each passage with an image of a thin body followed by "here's how to look like her."
eating disorders should not be framed as aspirational. and the problem is that society worships the "after" image, so long as you don't get too sick. there is a reason so many people who quit being "influencers" will later admit - i wasn't eating well that whole time; an obsession with food was completely destroying my life.
we let any uncredited, uncertified person write the most backwards, fucked up shit about how to get the body you desire! because the underlying, secret belief is: well, at least they're thin! and the real thing that fucking gets me each time - they make fucking money off of it. their irresponsibility and societal harm literally pays off for them.
"why do you care so much." "don't like it don't look." "so what if people experiment with new ways of thinking of food?"
thank you for asking. we're about to get extremely personal. it's because when i was 18 i discovered "thinspiration"/"thinspo." and it absolutely influenced, shaped, and codified my pre-existing eating disorder. i went from having some troubling habits and traits to being incredibly unwell within what felt like a matter of days. there were actual pages designed to train me on how to have an ED correctly. it was all so suddenly easy. i was sick; and the nature of the illness meant - i wanted to be sicker.
it takes an average of 7 years for a person to fully recover. i know this personally - even now, 10 years from the worst of it, i still fucking struggle. i am so much happier now and i eat what i want and i literally don't think about food at all (19 year old me would shudder) and yet - i still fucking know the calories of plain toast with butter.
an eating disorder is one of the deadliest types of mental illness. over 1 in 4 people with an ED will attempt suicide.
and i'm sorry. i just do not see the exchange rate of "high rate of engagement" versus "the value of a human life."
#and there's something else in there about like ....#tbh once i got over something like 1k followers#i stopped being specific about my ED for a REASON.#yes on ur personal locked blog that u use like a diary go ahead etc#but we are OBVIOUSLY not talking about that. we're talking about the sheer NUMBER of people i could be talking about#in that one paragraph. that you and i probably were thinking about 2 different influencers#bc they get to say that they're just posting FITNESS and if it's FITNESS it's OKAY and im like#jesus christ lord almighty#every person in recovery from an ED: this is incredibly dangerous holy shit do you know how much this would have triggered me#each of these ppl: how dare you!!!!!!!!! i am only harming those who WANT to engage with my content!!!!!#their followers: leave them alone !!! they can't help that they make an hours-long choice to frame their disorder as if it was#fucking cottagecore !!!!#like girlie this person needs THERAPY#again! i didn't even have that large of a following before i IMMEDIATELY deleted any specific mention of calories food etc#bc i recognize responsibility and i didnt EVER want to even ACCIDENTALLY encourage this#and im not even GETTING PAID FOR THIS!!!#aND THEY ARE!!!#something something something they know this content makes them money#they don't give a SHIT about u babe
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Bow problems (+ other nonsense)
#saroart#dead cells#the beheaded#the collector#they just wanted a nice bow#the collector can do a lot of stuff but i don't think he's good at bows#i was drawing a lot of antagonistic beheaded/collector content so i wanted to do some more cute junk#okay a lot is an exaggeration. still#need some guys being buds content sometimes#weird monster guys doing domestic shit is my favorite genre#i got a bonus at holiday time and im tempted to buy a tablet i can use portably#esp because holy fuck i don't know how to draw anymore#but also i just spent stupid money on tickets to live podcasts so i probably shouldn't#unrelated im very upset today because fucking UPS didn't ring my goddamn doorbell and so “”missed me“” and couldnt deliver my specialty meds#why must i get my meds through ups#because the us is a hellscape and i am beholden to my health insurance company#ups who has literally never managed to get a package to this apartment#tbh im stressed as fuck about having to go through this every goddamn month
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I still wonder…
Like. Seb’s document said he broke out while he was being transported
where was he being transported *to?*
Were they just changing where he was contained in the Blacksite? Doubtful given he was still given free enough reign to work on equipment during that time- he probably could’ve just moved himself, maybe with guards
Was he going to another site entirely? It’s implied Urbanshade has multiple sites even if Hadal is one of the main ones-
Were they going to sell him off? I mean- Urbanshade has a history of putting anomalies up for auction, both the Limited Time Imaginary Friend document and the Abstract Art files mention them selling off anomalies they don’t have a use for that aren’t something worth Neutralizing (or the other way around, too useless to sell), we know there’s other companies out there who’d probably have Use for a giant mutant- likely things that wouldn’t be good for him either like some kind of military use/Rich Weirdo Collector type stuff also
Did he even know? He waited 10 years to enact his plan- was it just the first chance he got, or did something happen?
#thinking about the Fish again#sebastian#sebastian pressure#sebastian solace#pressure roblox#roblox pressure#lore spoilers but like- fairly well known ones-#cough* sidenote I am once again making my standing position that Urbanshade is not SCP they are Marshall Dark and Carter- like.#Mixed with Chaos Insurgency and some SCP/GoC (maybe more the latter bc they tend to destroy stuff they don’t find useful? Idk-#I only know some SCP tbh#but like anyways-#The SCP foundation is kinda Fucked morally esp. depending on who’s writing them#but they at least have a philosophy they stand by#that being that anomalies are to be contained but also preserved/not destroyed without reason#(at least in most cases)#whether you consider it to be for better or worse is up to you but they *have* a philosophy#Urbanshade’s JUST in it for the money.#like. they don’t give a shit. They sell off anomalies frequently. they destroy anything not of use to them#they’re the scummy military-tech company of the anomaly world#HELL- EVEN *LOBOTOMY CORPORATION* HAD A GOAL AT THE END#IT’S **HARD** TO BE WORSE THAN THEM-
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The thing that Targaryen antis either don’t or can’t understand is that in spite of all the discussions, discourse and arguments (& moral conjecture): I simply love dragons and mentally ill women with great hair sorry if you can’t relate
#house targaryen#antis do not interact#house of the dragon#asiof#hotd#daenerys targaryen#rhaenyra targaryen#haelena targaryen#some of you take this shit wayyyyyyyy too seriously and way too personal#like if you wanna act like your mommy daddy grandma and grandpa were enslaved and murdered by the Targs#I am happy to report that has happened 0 times#is it really so controversial in a fantasy series to be fascinated by magic using dragon riders?#tbh wish there was more material on dragon riders and their bonds#and if your response to this post is more than 8 words know it’s NOT that serious#people are allowed to like things you don’t without it being that deep 😊
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At this point I don't know how to explain what protagonists are and how they work
#listen. it was never meant to be about him. johnjoshhayden made it about him#because i feel like they wanted a self insert tbh#and he was so good for a brief beautiful time#but he has never stood for miyagi do and its themes. he actively fights against rhem most of the time.#when making a story about LEGACY#why would he be included? he is not part of the legacy.#like i understand wanting to see your special little guy but omg#imagine crying because the karate kid movie is about the karate kid#imagine crying because not everything is catered specifically towards you#the spoiled toddler energy of it all#a fair amount of the people who want it to be about him (and the strange idea that its somehow Ralph being spiteful???)#are also the people eho have been saying shit like “its all just more Asian bull shit ”#and again like. i dont know how to explain.#“why on earth would a movie that heavily features karate (because its not about about karate#its used as a story telling tool. its used to develop emotional growth)#involve the culture that created it?“#i am looking at you so unserious right now.#ck negativity#but really more like#fandumb#but for filtering purposes
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tagged by @shrips for 9 books you'd like to read in the new year! ty for the tag-- i tag @halfagod @albatrossisland @eponine119 @tru-lyly
#some of these i've started (ie the last book is from the library and i've tried doing the exercises digitally)#i've wanted to try learning how to paint rather than just doing flats but it is sooo time consuming man#also a lot of these is literary / academic / jargony but i guarantee you i will read like#only one of them#i'm a little through elite capture and it's interesting but i'm like maaaan this is a little too much like coursework rn#so realistically i will read smoke / martyr / hopefully oil / maybe enayat or burn#kala and my mother laughs i am hoping to get to bc i forget who recced it to me here but i will try.#also for whoever tagged me before for other ask games but i never got to it im sorry ill get better at it next year again#truthfully i think it is bc i am irl more now lmao tag games used to be my no 1 priority#or im sick and am like im not typing shit rn#im sick rn#i really need to get off escitalopram man the Sicknesses are only getting sicker#also shrips if ur somehow still reading all this dont worry abt ur stuff being not literary its p good tbh i feel like#against a pretentious person's judgement#(NOT ME I THINK. BUT THERE R TITLES THT R CLASSICS THERE AND THE PRENTENTIOUS PPL R USUALLY OK W THOSE)
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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Ngl as a small business owner who puts out something extremely pirate-able and who has never earned enough to make a pay check, this...
...is extremely upsetting.
Do y'all realize that most small business are maybe a handful of people? Do y'all realize that company's like LLCs exist to protect owners from legal and financial repercussions if the company falls apart? I'm not a company because I have stockholders, I'm a company so that if the business goes bankrupt the banks can't seize my fucking house. It's not evil to use existing legal structures to protect my family's assets. It's not unreasonable to ask people not to steal from businesses like mine.
It's like on Tumblr when it's One Artist or One Author Doing The Thing Themself you guys are all about it but the minute anyone tries to collectivize to do better we go from One Person Against The World to The Embodiment of Capitistic Evil with no in between, which is especially insane coming from the website that claims to think individualism has turned toxic and we should do more with community organization. The minute lots of people are involved in a business, there HAS to be legal structures like contracts and shit to protect the people involved. The Lone Creator Forging a Path is great for that one person. What about everyone else?
And so... some of us try to make a company to lift up a group.
And then I see shit takes like this.
Maybe. Maybe DONT fucking pirate from literally anyone just cause they've got the word "company" I'm the name?
Maybe remember that for small businesses, yes even when they're a company, there's a single person, or a family, or a group of friends, who are working their asses off to build something, and actually? Stealing from them makes you a FUCKING DICK.
Like. You realize we're just people right? Other regular people trying to survive the dystopian hellscape that is the now?
Maybe stop acting like you're automatically entitled to the labor and creations of others solely because you've decided that there is an entire huge category of people it's okay to steal from.
Like honestly. What the fuck.
#unforth rambles#i get that a general post isnt about me specifically#but yall realize that in the same way that saying certain things about appearance causes splash damage to everyone who shares that appearan#saying shit like this does splash damage to people like me#well i didnt MEAN a small place like yours i meant disney#well thats not at all what op said and i am definitely included in what op said#i know how hard i work and the people like me work#and i guarantee that even if some people reblogging this mean big places plenty dont and they feel validated by this#idk if our stuff has been pirated i refuse to check#but i intentionally dont use drm because fuck thwt noise so its certainly possible#and considering i work 50 hours plus a week and have never gotten paid while trying to build this into something sustainable#i think maybe you can appreciate why this shit pisses me off so bad#i am the splash damage on your piracy is cool oh but i didnt mean from you hun kinds of posts#if there are truly times you dont think piracy is okay maybe stop reblogging posts that say its always okay#also apologies to the mutuals who reblogged rhe above#i know you dont mean me but tbh that doesnt mean it doesnt hurt
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in MDZS the novel, the innkeeper in Yunping mentions that people are too scared to go petition Yunmeng Jiang for help because someone once walked in on Sect Leader Jiang whipping a guy in the main hall, supposedly because the guy was a demonic cultivator.
#mdzs#jiang cheng#wei wuxian#jc apologism#anyways as you can hopefully tell by now this is a jc stan blog.#so as a stan i will do my rightful stan duty and insist that my fave did nothing wrong#so. onwards. the “jiang cheng tortures demonic cultivators” claim is interesting on several levels#because we don't see it happen onscreen. and because thematically mdzs is a book about the unreliability of rumors#especially when said rumors conform to your preexisting understanding of someone. or what you want to hear about someone#it would have been so easy for mxtx to include a scene where jc tortures a demonic cultivator onscreen. i would love to read it too#but that doesnt happen. when jc actually corners wwx he just shoves a dog in his face and bullies him emotionally#smh jc get your shit together!! what is this lame ass display?? not living up to your reputation here loser#anyways. tbh i consider two things separately: 1. mxtx's intentions. and 2. what the text itself implies#for 1. i am legitimately unsure of what to think. mxtx relies on rumors/empathy/etc to give us info about side characters#in part because she's constrained herself to writing from wwx's perspective and has no other easy way of getting the info to us#does she intend for us to question the rumors? or are we supposed to take them as fact because of the narration limits described?#2. what the text itself implies is not necessarily the same as what mxtx intends.#for me mdzs is in part a story about the unreliability of rumors and reputation etc etc. other meta writers than i have explained it better#so for the work to go “all the rumors about wwx were exaggerated/manipulated/not 100% correct.”#“but the rumors about everyone else are 100% true!!!!!”#is peak stupidity. and shit-tier writing#and i actually like mdzs so i would like to believe the writer is more intelligent than that#thus. i conclude in part due to this emotional necessity of mine that there must have been something more going on#anyways. i have similar opinions about the “did jiggy kill rusong” business but that's a post for later#ill probably put my jc torture opinions in their own post some day#yanyan polls
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I love it so much when I see people selfshipping with goofy cartoon characters. Anton is not that by definition but he 100% is that in spirit so I am holding hands with all of you. Frolic with me yayyy lalalalala ♡
#I love my silly toony guy and I love when other people love their silly toony f/os ♡#I don't just mean cartoon f/os in general I specifically mean the types who are on some looney tunes shit#they need to have exaggerated sillyfunny animations and follow goofy toon logic it's very important#would their teeth get replaced with the ivory keys if they had a piano dropped on their head. this is a determining factor here.#tbh they don't even have to be a cartoon character they just have to be cartoony. I am literally using anton as my example#roz posts
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thinking about frank and sex (in a sad way)
#marvel#frank castle#the punisher#not as in about sex with him but like how hes portrayed in relation to it in the comics if that makes sense#hes just always so deeply uninterested not just in the women but the act itself too like#so many times hes like. not pressured thats the wrong word but like i can think of at least two times i saw#where the women just kinda. walk themselves into his bed. and hes like 'eh idk about this' but then just kinda does it anyway#like i imagine the writers intended for this to be like a cool guy thing yk like ah he gets so much action and he DOESNT CARE cuz hes COOL#but ME personally i cant help but read it like. god idk i dont want to say him letting himself get used and using them in turn#theres this expression 'going through the motions' that kind of feels right here but idk how to explain it#hes just so weird about it. every time. in my mind i cant imagine him ever really wanting it very much#like maybe to feel good sometimes but its never. idk am i making sense am i just saying shit#is he gay asexual missing his dead wife or just so so fucking traumatized and dead on the inside that his body is just an object now#so many fun ways to interpret this#<guy who is not having fun interpreting this#wish i could just project my thoughts into your heads so youd see exactly what i mean cuz i dont feel im verbalizing this well enough#god take a shot every time i say 'like' or 'just'. youll be off your face from this post only#i may be making shit up tbh idk the thought struck me out of nowhere while i was looking at the ceiling
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