#I am trying so so hard to be good
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i’m actually kind of surprised that Leverage (2008-2012) and Leverage: Redemption (2021–) don’t have a bigger fanbase on tumblr lol like it’s literally sexy polycule vibes with a focus on diversity and inclusion plus aldis hodge looks like this in s2 of Redemption so what are we even doing
#leverage#leverage redemption#like please watch these shows they are on freezer#they are so good#i am trying so hard to be normal about leverage but. it’s so good
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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag#writeblr#it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal#fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho)#healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy#im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage....#1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind#and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes#2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception''#3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.''#idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh#im sure there are people who have this experience normally#but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists#when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band''#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful#once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large#but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry.#but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes#but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally.#i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes#people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism#but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet .#i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY#and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound.#but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in#i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too.#here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change#was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort)#choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL
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ERM I keep forgetting to post these sketches (by "forgetting" I mean cowering because I'm not confident in drawing these characters yet LOL) BUT figured it's finally about time. Just a couple time travel AU sketches vaguely based on this fic!! (sorry they're so purple I love purple)
I think the contrast in possible reactions is SO FUNNY TO ME! Stan and his journey to Being Chill.
#also Stan and his journey of healing but its also just becoming more chill#guys im trying so hard not to think about this too hard as i post i hope its not cringe AND IM BAD AT POSING SO SORRY IF IT LOOKS WEIRD AND#AAAAHHHHH#ok ill chill. ill chill.#i just love the concept of older Stan and Ford meeting 30ish Ford and Stan#the older and wiser going to the past is like yes. good.#also i just love time travel and time travel aus all around. its what doctor who instilled in me. its why i am WHO I AM!!#im done rambeling now aha aha aha. posting now! gonna hit post!! hitting post riiiighhhtt after these tags!#gravity falls#stan pines#stanley pines#ford pines#stanfordpines#uhh icr what this au is called#or i would tag that also erm oh well#sketches#sketch#my art
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#sherlock#it might be the cough medicine but I'm really feeling the bbc sherlock wedding episode today#a good feeling ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎���#like finding an old block of cheese in the back of the fridge you forgot about and its gotten super hard and chewy#i currently have half a block of gouda curating in the vegetable cupboard#waiting#how are you doing friends!! C:#I'm good! I still have the cough but I also got a new scarf#I'm still thinking about buying window colors as well but I am waiting if that is also just because of the cough medicine#I can't believe it's already been a year since I have moved! last year I was doing everything here for the first time#and now everything is happening for a second time! that year was both very long and also happened very fast#our floor in the “office” my father wanted to install still is not completly done but he threw up last time he tried#he did not threw up because of the floor but because every time he does a home renovation project he drinks 3 liters of Cherry Coca Cola#we are trying to not make him drink 3 liters of Cherry Coca Cola but he doesn't want anyone else to finish the floor I think so we just do#not mention the hole in the floor#have a nice autumn day friends!! I hope you're doing well! ( ´͈ ◡ `͈ )#♥
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His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#tulu xuanwu#blood#Vomit on his sweater already; mom's spaghetti#I love drawing teenji because he gets to be a lot more expressive than Older Lan Wangji.#wwx is trying so hard to be supportive and it keeps backfiring for lwj.#“There's no way I would ever want you carnally ^_^” meanwhile the guy who wants him carnally is losing his mind in agony.#Hot tip if you keep finding yourself in Lan Zhan's shoes: consider being more obvious. Give up on trying to be subtle with an ADHDer.#His game is SO BAD. Abysmally bad rizz. I do not think it was possible for these to to have a chance to get together in this life.#He has no plan. He has no healthy outlet for his feelings. He is looking at his half naked crush and losing his shot.#F in the chat for Lan Zhan. He's just been accidently rejected and he is about to be accused of being straight.#Meta commentary moment: I am going to try very hard to be more consistent with outfits and details across comics#I have had some...difficulties in the past with forgetting details (COUGH the vermillion mark COUGH)#New year new goals! Wish my ADHD eyes and brain good luck!
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some business to take care of
#i was tempted to caption this as she was a skater boy and she was also another skater boy but#duck scribbles#midoyuzu#enstars#whats up guys im being embarrassing again on main#been wanting a new phone wallpaper and this was born. its the lesbian version though im not showing that#midori takamine#yuzuru fushimi#yuzumido#ensemble stars#also have additional doodles that r kind of corny and im too ashamed to add into the main post so i might add on a reblog or maybe not#midterms were so awful i had to keep reminding myself i can go ham drawing whatever i want once im done. and naturally its this#anyways ive always liked midos city rider fit it suits her so well#always wanted to find a good one to pair w it and the wink killer 2nd half xscout was toooo good i was inspired immediately#finally could use this good ref pic ive had saved since forever i need to draw backgrounds more too it was rather fun somehow#mental state has been yoyoing an insane degree lately like come on i dont need to be reminded i am a useless hunk of meat every other day#with nothing good going for them. college is amazing at reminding me of such god bless#i have bad tendencies to self isolate behind the excuse of concentrating that i am trying to fix . but its hard to get back when i do#not to mention the entire Big Event happening over in good ol amerika serikat!!! my apathy is naturally immense#but whats some peace of mind here and there idk. im gonna read yuri
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enjoyed this podcast very much (he is ignoring all the angst)
anyways, doodles
#dungeons and daddies#dndaddies#dndads#i enjoy link and taylor duo very much#taylor swift#lincoln wilson#scary marlowe#normal oak#hermie the unworthy#i am so normal about these characters#so normal i binged it all in a month and i cannot wait for the new episode#deciding on a hairstyle for normal was so hard#that's kinda the hairstyle i imagine young henry had so that's good enough#this whole podcast is such a wild ride#trying to convince my friends to listen to it so we can be insane together#doodles#dungeons and daddies fanart#my art
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SKZ as DND CLASSES: WARLOCK FELIX
warlocks are seekers of the knowledge that lies hidden in the fabric of the multiverse. through pacts made with mysterious beings of supernatural power, warlocks unlock magical effects both subtle and spectacular.
#felix#lee felix#stray kids#bystay#createskz#a9gifs#*ccarly#*gfx#*felix#*carly:felix#*series:dnd#here it is. hyperfixated on this so hard literally could not focus on anything else the past two days .#Nobody voted for warlock felix. but do u see my VISION!!#almost made him a celestial warlock tbh but then i was like no....he Would sacrifice his soul to save his friend(s)...#justifying it to himself like !!! i bet if i try really hard everything will be fine#now he lives every day fighting an internal war between good and evil. sorry felix but it's a good concept#also i love rpgs but i am by no means a dnd expert there's some stuff on here that isn't Technically Accurate but it's just for fun#aka i'm too facking lazy to calculate stats and proficiency bonuses blah blah blah. so <3 hopefully i will COMPLETE THIS SERIES#layout between members may or may not change if i find a way to do it that i like more alkdjflkad we'll see
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hilarious that with each new day that passes a new bit of dirt from JD Vance's past gets discovered and plastered over the internet...it's almost as if this is why presidential campaigns have always announced their running mates well before the convention...so that if glaring issues with a candidate came to light quickly there would be time to replace them on the ticket before they were officially locked in...it's almost as if certain things in political campaigns were done for a reason, donald...because the very same critical failures had happened before...but no i'm sure you and your guys attempt to recreate a fantasy version of history while ignoring all the reasons that history was a disaster will work this time...because you are built different and the 10000th time trying fascism will work like a charm...
#us politics#politics tw#i view the MAGA movement like this:#the conservatives have been desperately trying to jam a square peg into a round hole for a very long time#and they keep trying because one of these times its GOT to work! a very long time ago they heard the hole was more squarelike#so if they just TRY hard enough it will work!#failing to understand that the hole has become weathered and changed over time and the solution they are trying#will never work (if it ever did)#and then donald trump comes along and looks at the square peg#lobs one of the corners off and proclaims 'this is a triangle! THIS will work! I am so smart!'#and everyone around him is like 'whoa! this guy gets it! he's a genius and understands the problem! he's our savior!'#ignoring the fact that the peg is not a fucking triangle. it's just a deformed square now#so its still not going to work. and even if it WAS a triangle it still wouldn't work because THE HOLE IS ROUND.#it's the same damn peg but it looks a little different so everyone thinks its a genius solution that is DEFINITELY going to work#so they're all excited! they're FINALLY going to prove those idiots trying different types of oval pegs wrong!#they were right all along and it just took donald trump to see it! thank goodness he came along!#but that's just it-- he WAS just COMING ALONG. he was just walking by and saw an opportunity. he never spent time trying to make pegs#all he did was saw a crowd and took a chance to break an already failing peg even further#but because the people were desperate and it was different enough it seemed revolutionary#and now some of the conservatives--who can still see that the 'triangle' peg isnt a triangle are starting to look around#and see that elsewhere there have been some who have forced a triangle into the center of the round hole#and these people think well what if we ACTUALLY tried a real triangle?#and it does not matter to them in the slightest that it will never be the true solution to filling the hole#they just want credit for solving the problem#and so they are going to back donald trump and when the time is right put a real triangle in his hand#while the people trying ovals are busy arguing over the right type of oval#and once the triangle has been jammed into that hole...well...#it is going to be really really hard to force out#anyway thats a long and complicated metaphor and i probably should have just put it in its own post aaaaaahgh#long story short dont be a fascist triangle alright
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It's kind of funny that Kendall and Shiv are both equally delusional about their ability to charm people for business and somehow think they can do it even though they choke almost every single time, whereas it's like the one thing Roman is consistently good at despite being the "least legitimate" option.
I think part of this comes down to the fact that Shiv and Kendall both have very clear ideas of the versions of themselves they're trying to be and the images they're trying to project, and they're trying so hard to be seen that way that they end up coming off as a little desperate and off-putting. Meanwhile Roman "knows" that there's something wrong with him and he's worthless, so he doesn't get sucked into the trap of trying to force people to see his idea of himself and instead molds himself into whatever he thinks the other person wants from him because that's the only way he can compensate for "being him," which works very well in the short term but also means he's the least capable of maintaining any relationship for very long because he has no sense of self.
#this was going to be a joke about kendall consistently failing to charm anyone that isn't stewy (and still for some reason thinking he's#good at it) but then i thought about it too hard and started connecting dots#but it is really interesting on a character level to analyze the different ways the siblings act when they're trying to win someone over#kendall and shiv will try to find common ground but they always end up pushing too hard and overplaying their hands because they're#focusing too much on wanting to get the person to take them seriously or see them the way they want to be seen#and roman will test the waters a bit but not say anything definitive until he get the person talking and can see what it is they want#and then just says whatever it is he thinks they want to hear#which also makes a lot of sense with the abuse dynamics since he was the one most likely to actually get hit so the goal is to just make#sure dad never gets angry at you and tell him whatever you need to to avoid that because the consequences will be worse#anyways its 2 am here you go#succession#kendall roy#shiv roy#roman roy
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soul / holding you together
-> words from an excerpt of trisha mateer's "honeybee"
-> inspired by @hi-raethia
#this consumed my life i hope you all know ✌️ i do NOT know how to do good lighting. can you tell#a few of these images are referenced! i am trying to track down the original creators but godddd pinterest makes it so damn hard#anyway.#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fanart#jjk fanworks#geto#geto suguru#suguru geto#suguru#gojo#gojo satoru#satoru gojo#satoru#and a tiny bit of#kenjaku#towards the end ???#no gojoken this time though. sorry everyone#stsg#satosugu#sugusato#phon.art#i made the color scheme more monotone towards the end. you can have that symbolize something if you want
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right now i'm very torn between "taking critique is important as an artist and it's not an attack on me personally" and "people commenting about my same face syndrome under my posts upsets me an unreasonable amount and i wish they would stop doing it"
#ramble#sorry i am not having a good art day today#i'm TRYING i promise#this is 100% a me problem and i hate it#i think it's because when i have a Problem with my art. i need to fix it INSTANTLY#and that's not how art improvement works#idk why it gets to me so much i can't explain it#even if it's polite and means well it makes me feel weird and i don't know why#maybe because i thought i was way better about it than i used to be but right now i'm getting it way more#yes i know posting art means you have to take people's opinions#but how do i say 'please do not leave lengthy critique under my art that i make for fun when i didn't ask for it' w/o sounding like an ass#i just feel like. i would never go to a fic and point out all the writing mistakes in the comments if the author didn't ask for it. idk#i'm fighting really hard not to yell 'IT'S MY ART STYLE' bc that's not an excuse obvs
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When you (generic, universal) talk about theories about the end of Season 2 and Aziraphale going to Heaven, you often run up against either:
taking everything at face value to the point of ignoring that some details contradict one another
or
accidentally nullifying major emotional, plot, and character beats by implying that they Didn't Really Happen.
A lot of the differences in analyses, especially ones that I like (LOL), can be explained by the fact that we're analyzing a character who is experiencing massive cognitive dissonance and believes a number of contradictory things at once.
Nobody is wrong to point out Aziraphale's need to Belong to a Good Cause, which makes his acceptance of the Supreme Archangel position entirely in-character; nobody is wrong to point out Aziraphale's anxiety around the Metatron, which indicates that he may have been coerced.
Did Aziraphale go back to Heaven because he's afraid of what will happen if he keeps refusing, or because the Metatron made an implicit threat? Did he go back to Heaven because he's vulnerable to flattery and wants to feel important? Did he go back to Heaven because he thought it would be a way to be permanently safe with Crowley? Or did he go back because he missed belonging to something Good, something bigger than himself? All of the above. It's all of them.
Yes, even though it's incredibly dissonant to believe a system that he KNOWS is dangerous and coercive can accomplish true Goodness, that is in fact his belief.
Admittedly, this is no one I follow - just random comments I see around from people I don't know very well - but it seems like some people out there are assuming Aziraphale can't possibly be making any plans to do anything remotely intelligent, because this would mean that he is already aware that Heaven is bad and would therefore leave no room for character growth.
Except no, that's not necessarily what it means. In fact, the cognitive dissonance is the main thing he is going to have to resolve. Having that dissonance - the belief that Heaven's ideals are genuine, along with the understanding that Heaven is dangerous and needs to be carefully manipulated - is what will move his plot forward. Mindless obedience wouldn't progress his story any more than magic brainwashing coffee would, and it would be equally inconsistent with his story and motivations so far.
The dissonance is the point. And part of the dissonance is that he already knows Heaven is dangerous - he just hasn't accepted what that means yet. It would make sense for him to simultaneously try to work within Heaven's system and watch his own back.
Also, only partly related: Neil might write a story about how the worst people exploit the need to belong and to be Good. He might write a story about how we have to become our own greater good. He might write a story about how to rebuild after you discover your greater good is not so great or good after all. He is not going to write a story about how having any faith or trust in something objectively bigger and stronger than yourself makes you a stupid clown who is wrong about literally everything and shouldn't have even tried.
Let Aziraphale fuck up. He needs to and he will. Whatever plans he was making in that elevator won't actually succeed. But give him credit where it's due.
Edited to add: And you know what? When he fucks up, he's going to get through it. And then he's going to do the right thing. And he's going to get it right when it matters the most.
#good omens#good omens 2 spoilers#go s2 spoilers#aziraphale#I am like SO SENSITIVE about Aziraphale because look#during the Final Fifteen he is the one saying the more hurtful things#and he is the one being misled back to an objectively bad place#but he is trying SO SO HARD#and I see myself in how incredibly hard he's trying
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Okay now where's the Seb teddy bear so I can make them kiss each other!?
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#okay btw you can credit the last frame to suzuki#bcs she brought up the pig stuffed animal that seb kept as a good luck charm when he was karting#and suggested the same with fernando's bear :DDD#also feeling weirdly sappy abt the fact that theres pics of fernando in the ferrari garage w an almost identical pig like ??????#anyways please yes have this random vettonso comic 🥰🥰#im working on a bigger vettonso drawing rn so i made this quick in the meantime!#icl i saw the fernando teddy bear. and i made the eyebrow post and whatever#but there was also just this image in the back haunting me of him gifting one to seb#I AM DELUSIONAL!!!#its just so cute to imagine it as like 'heres a memento of me to keep you company' 🥺🥺🥺🥺#funny tho cause i had the same exact imagine for my ocs and i never drew a comic version for them yet drew this real quick#the power of vettonso takes hold of me sometimes.....#tfw you take a break from your vettonso painting youve been working on for a wk+ to go draw a vettonso comic#i have a problem.#ANYWAYS THIS IS SO CUTE WAAAHHHH#drew it as cope bcs in trying to restrain myself from buying the fernando teddy bear#if i cant have it ill make seb have it yknow 🤭🤭🤭#wah this reminded i should draw more little comics theyre not too hard tbh#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#vettonso#catie.art
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Assisting Acquaintance Acquired.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wen ning#wei wuxian#Ignore how Wen Ning's hair looks here because I messed it up. Let's pretend he just sported a different hair style for a brief moment.#I am not exactly great at consistency but I am trying very hard to work on that (immediately messes up again).#Absolutely *love* how Wen Ning clearly remembers and admires WWX...who does *not* recognize him.#This is the best day for Wen Ning and it means *nothing* to WWX. A painful one-sided crush made worse.#It is bittersweet to realize that we care about someone more than they care about us. Sometime we pour love into a relationship-#-with someone who just can't reciprocate. It isn't always a conscious things either. Some people just aren't aware we care.#And painfully - so painfully - You can't make them aware. No act of kindness or gift or self sacrifice will make someone care about you.#You can martyr yourself for someone and they will continue on unchanged.#I think a lot about the parallels between WN and LWJ. Not foils - just reflections. A theme repeated.#People who give so much of themselves to someone who doesn't have the capacity to give any part of themself away.#I will die on the hill of 'Wen Ning would be the love triangle romance if that trope wasn't being avoided'.#And to be honest - thank the stars above that is the case. I do not know any good love triangles in media.#We are skipping some of the sad Jiang Cheng content because I really want to finish season 2 before May.#Sorry JC emo moment lovers...I'll deliver another time.
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My obsession has waned but rest assured I'll never stop thinking about the Rat Grinders. There was a truly unprecedented degree of dropping the ball when it comes to their story and yet they're still some of the most compelling & tragic characters in the whole Dimension 20 canon. Doomed by the narrative but not because of any thematic inevitability, rather because the narrative simply doesn't have the compassion to even consider saving them. None of them are allowed more than 1 personality trait and yet they're living in my mind forever. Can't decide if I should give Brennan kudos for the concept of their party because it's fucking brilliant, or if I should write off the whole thing as some kind of miraculous accident that came so close to being good before becoming a smoking crater on the ground. Genuinely they make me insane. I think Kipperlilly Copperkettle should get to attack real man Brennan Lee Mulligan
#THAT LAST SENTENCE IS A JOKE. IT IS HUMOROUS. dont fucking come at me like I'm threatening the cast. i am making a joke#a joke which none of the cast members will ever see so u need to defend them#d20 crit#d20#ratgrumblr#the rat grinders#kipperlilly copperkettle#like. it's such a rich base. the version of trg that exists in my head is so good and i try my absolute hardest to base things in canon#it's hard for basically all of them except lucy & kipperlilly bc they are so nothingburger. but i try#sigh. we could've had it all... but instead we had unaddressed grooming overtones and dead wife montage#i should make a trg headcanons list
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