#I am thinking abt this bc I am feeling very Girl lately idk why

[selfindulgentfandomstuff]

If I were a girlthing I’d probably look exactly the same as I do as a guything tbh

[okifyouinsist]

tagged by @killerandhealerqueen (i just keep forgetting abt this one SIGH but i have free time rn and im committed)

1. why did you choose your url?

growing up, i just wasn't a social media girl purely bc of the fact that my parents were super strict and I assumed they wouldn't allow me to have it and I just never really saw the appeal anyways. Then later a few friends basically forced me to make my first account and because i wasn't very creative and thought i was the funniest bitch ever i made my first user 'ifyouinsist' and it just kinda stuck ig

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

nope. i fear if i had a sideblog id end up neglecting it and forget abt it or make it my new main blog and neglect this blog and this blog is literally my baby

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

well i've had an account since like end of 2019, beginning of 2020???? (im pretty sure) i didnt like use my account tho i just had it to look at other ppls blogs not my own, i only acc recently made up my blog up properly and started posting this year when it was like 2 am and i was on holiday to visit my home country and my mum and my aunts were gossiping and i was like whatever who tf cares how late i am to a fandom and the rest was history

4. do you have a queue tag?

nope, my drafts are a terrifying place and if they ever saw light id die

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

to reblog pretty art and to compliment writers on ao3 AND on tumblr bc they deserve everything and more

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

logan sargeant. need i say any more???? hes my bsf in spirit

7. why did you choose your header?

loscar. LOSCAR. loscar. i am very much totally normal abt them i swear (lying through my teeth rn). they're just my everything unfortunately and sometimes i like to say the fist bump is their version of intertwining their fingers together

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

ik this bc it was the first i myself made and it was abt loscar obviously and i thought i was SO funny (im not) and its lowk still such a flop post but its MY flop post so here it is :)

9. how many mutuals do you have?

idk man im shy (scared of rejection) so i dont have a lot, like genuinely let me go see acc, oh ig its me and my 14 moots against the world i love you guys fr

10. how many followers do you have?

BYE my 26 followers are my 4 lifers fr (im such a flop this is hilarious)

11. how many people do you follow?

37 (sigh need to follow more ppl RN)

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

im gonna be so real idk what defines as a shit post but most probably yeah

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

idk im acc really inconsistent like ill be MIA for 2 whole days and the next week ill be on tumblr like for most of my day when i can its very confusing like today ive not been on it a lot im academically locking in and all that

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

ummm no. like. if i see someone i follow getting hate ill send them a supportive ask and then at the end of it be like anon ur such a loser get a life but other than that. nope.

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

im very much neutral abt them, like idc if i need to reblog it yk if i want to i will if i dont then i wont

16. do you like tag games?

YES (said in a very normal voice)

17. do you like ask games

YES. i love getting asks id cry if someone sent an ask (i have one rotting away from a moot rn i WILL answer it i swear)

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

can i say all my moots. i wanna say all my moots they're all famous in my eyes guys, i start tagging its gonna end with all my moots being tagged but like @killerandhealerqueen and @dwarvenchords were the first 2 ppl to come to my mind theyre both just the coolest fr

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

nah. i have FRIEND crushes on literally all of them tho. wanna be their friends SO bad

20. what is the last song you listened to?

Mamichula- Bizarrap

21. what are you currently watching?

in my docuseries era rn watching breakpoint (STILL)(i only have time on the weekends rn SIGH)

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy?

sweet. im such a 'lets skip the dinner and just get dessert' kinda girl

23. what is your current relationship status?

this is SUCH a complicated question to answer but heavily leaning more towards single

24. what is your current obsession?

sports. like just sports in general. like ive always been a casual fan of sports but i never used to take a deep dive into it but this year i decided to dive, and i dived VERY deep, so like motorsports, tennis, football, cricket, trying to get into hocky rn im collecting them atp. also. documentaries. like when i get time ill be binge watching like 5 documentaries i just love them sm

25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?

wish i could tell you fr, i mean, rn im re listening to SOUR by Olivia Rodriguez AGAIN bc thats the way my life is going SIGH, Olivia is my favourite basic artist fr, nothing compares to listening to SOUR for the first time in 2021

ANYWAYS, thanks again for the tag i really appreciate it, im gonna tag @ezisregrettinglifedecisions @fabeong @whatssthepooiintt

[sapphosdickandballs]

iiiii feel like ive been sending you too many asks as of late but i just am starting something to talk about. its due tomorrow so uhhh im gonna binge read it. ive got several things to read lol.

i didnt want to start another book right away cause id finished pride and prejudice and pittsburgh yesterday-ish after reading the majority during my shift- and OH YEAH.

i was so- stand offish at first about it because i thought it was so... goofy how the timetravel mechanic worked but literallyyyyy- stick it out. ugh it was so good???? i loved it. IT WAS GREAT. literally is everything. AND i think its a def rec. im not gonna spoil much but yeahhhhh lol.

is it better than she gets the girl? no not imo but like they're both rly good books.

i was listening to it during work and audrey had mentioned phoebe bridgers and my voice cracked bc i deadass gasped and shouted "PHOEBE???" making like two ppl look at me very confused 💀😭. "moon song" mention !!!! 🗣🔥🔥🔥🎶 . i love audrey for that. why am i always so shocked when someone mentions her in wlw books- anygays... proud!!! good choice. im in love with books that name drop music like that *looks at ols <3* i love punisher as an album sm ughh so that makes me 10x happier.

uhh- low key?? side note. after i sent you the previous ask abt books ghost LITERALLY sent me an epub of the falling in love montage without me asking or anything- like straight up just sent it to me 🫡. HAVEN'T READ IT YET BUT I HAVE AQUIRED IT.

oh and another thing.. i know what i said about not liking delilah green doesn't care and you taking it off of your tbr. i wanted to say- i think you should read it anyway. i would like to see you disagree with me not liking it or have a conversation about it and your thoughts. because- EVEN if i don't like it- i think you should have your own say on if you want or should read it. and like- i think itd be interesting to get your perspective or thoughts?? i wouldn't bump it high on the list or anything but i do think you should read it anyway. what i may not like, you could. i don't want you to miss out on that lol. hope that makes sense?? i can go into explanation on why i didn't like it then too. i went on a 15 min deep dive through voice notes with ghost after i finished it so 😭.

ghost managed to get me another wlw book i look forward to reading soon but i feel like this might be getting too long. i saw some art and i was sold. its like- enemies to lovers during the apocalypse?? it gives me tlou energy w the premise and thats speaking to me w my ellabs hyperfixation 🫡. obv not tlou but yeah. HAVEN'T EVEN PLAYED TLOU EITHER UGH BUT I WANT TO. anygays that tis all.

ifffff and when u finish kiss her once for me dooooo lmk. ik u said you had uni stuff and might be busy so obviously no rush or pressure but do lmk whenever that is!! i would love to infodump more but idk what else to say atm lol but i hope this isn't too annoying <3. i like sending u reading asks n stuff!!

you are not sending me too many at all! Your asks have been making my day every time I get them <3 and I’ll add that to my list! I love time travel stories so imma eat it up. I haven’t read in like 2 weeks 😭 and unis starting soon😭😭😭 but the second I can muster up reading energy I’ll finish kiss her once for me :]

[neonstatic]

i'm having a tough time w physical touch lately. well, i don't like hugs as much anymore. to the point that sometimes, i'll go for a hug and realise that, well, i was better off without it. it might be bc i'm full of upset feelings and i'm thinking abt them more than i am feeling them, so now i'm just all out of wack. i, who normally welcome hugs from anyone and am known for giving great hugs, am now repulsed by it. i don't mind holding hands or a touch on the shoulder or a peck on th cheek or even a rigorous head rub, but i don't want arms wrapped around me. like my ladyfriend's told me, it seems i prefer embraces on my own terms. i give the hug but i don't get hugged. it's starting to feel a lot like that lately. i even spent last week dodging hugs from ppl i usually love hugging cus it just doesn't feel right. i hugged my nephew goodbye and tbh the discomfort still sits w me days later. i'm abt ready to give up on hugs altogether.

why am i thinking abt hugs so damn much? well, i'm an overthinker. but it's bc at work, my fave coworker (who happens to also be my friend) is a touchy woman and she always greets me w a hug. we hugged in front of a coworker, a middle aged man who is chummy with us both. he joked that he was feeling like an orphan bc he got no hugs and my friend gave him one. i just stood on the side bc, well, i didn't even rly like hugging her at that moment, and i didn't want to hug someone again so soon. he looked at me expectantly. i just giggled (i was nervous!) and went back to working.

we had a lil back and forth joke abt him having to fill out a form to officialise our hug contract but a bit later, he asked more srsly: do you not like hugs? do you only hug girls? and well, no! my best guy mates, i give em sweet hugs too. so then i said, "well, ykno, there's a certain level of... friendship..." and then i think he got real sad cus he gave me his back and "said yeah yeah i get it" and now i feel terrible

and i've been thinking it over since 3pm like omg it bothers me! and one hand, i don't like the man that much. we're on friendly terms but. he's kind to me and he does his job well and he's a great coworker to have but idk that i like him as a person, so i don't want to hug him! he reminds me of my dad: he's the very religious, socially conservative, preachy type of man and it Repulses me! i feel that he's already v lucky to have my politeness and friendliness......

[dykeyote]

💔 + 🎥 for tpo or rgu (or both!!)

also maybe 📜 for rgu cause i’m trying to get into it

i assume u mean tpp bc idk what else tpo would be tho i may be being stupid ...... so i will do both bc i like to talk >:)

one of my least favorite characters from penumbra and why: oh god i really cannot stand mick mercury . i really cant . i just really dont like himbo characters or anything adjacent ..... unless its handled INSANELY well or in a really new and compelling way i just Do not like cis guy characters where the whole thing is that theyre like incompetent and dumb and thats their main thing and often feels like their Only thing i just Do not like it they immediately get on my nerves and i dont like his voice either so whenever hes on the show i am Displeased ...... theres interesting aspects to him and idk i get why people like him i suppose but i cannot stand him . at all . he just is like the biggest example of a trope i really hate </3

one of my least favorite characters from rgu and why: this ones tricky because like .... i like most of the characters that dont do awful shit . like i can be like "oh i hate akio" and ur gonna be like yeah duh ......

fav scene from penumbra: i did this a while ago in this post but ill also throw in one that i forgot which is that i do quite like juno and cassandra's interactions in murderous mask also .... its quite entertaining and puts an interesting lens on both characters . and also theyre both really fucking funny

fav scene from rgu: okay like.... there are many INSANELY good scenes in rgu . so beautiful so cool so fucking thought provoking it is an AMAZING show . however ngl the scene i think and talk the most abt (i literally was talking abt this to my friend the other day who was thinking abt watching it) is the goddamn scene in the dub (idk what its like in the sub i havent seen it i might after i finish watching the dub thru bc i struggle w paying attntion to captions) where they like . show this like triple angle shot of utena and all the girls are staring at her with heart eyes and shit and then they go in the silliest fucking anime dub voice "Shes So Cool" when it is so obvious that they all want to say shes smoking hot and they need her rn . love that scene . i think abt it all the time . its so funny . why would u censor the lesbians of ohtori academy which is apparently all the girls ever

plotline of rgu and what kind of media it is: revolutionary girl utena is a late 90s anime that was heavily influential on the anime that came later and on animation in general (: the plot surrounds utena tenjou, a teenage girl (ish . her relationship to gender is VERY complex and she is at the very least clearly butch to me . bigender utena 4eva) who wants to be a prince and who is sort of unintentionally drawn into a duel for (among other things) the hand of the rose bride, anthy himemiya, a teenage girl with some magical capacities who is treated more as an object than a person by those who want to win her. utena wins the duel, and continues to have to defend her spot as champion despite not particularly Wanting anthy to treat her as her owner and bride-to-be. things obviously spiral down and get way more complicated from there but thats the basic synopsis of the beginning without spoiling later stuff (: (and obligatory warning for anyone intrigued by that that it gets very heavy later on check the warnings ideally on smt besides does the dog die bc there is a Large amnt and imo the does the dog die doesnt really cover them properly or explicitly explain how intrinsically tied to the narrative some of said warnings Are)

[amiharana]

something i LOVE abt your writing is your creativity, like you fr come up with prompts that I've never thought about or never seen other ppl apply to revalink, and it's just so refreshing to see them in unique scenarios bc it gives me new things to brainrot about 🫶 I always love seeing your new au ideas because they're just so !! much fun to read !!!! not to give spoilers abt your wips but the one you showed me for the upcoming revalink week has been living in my head RENT FREE like how do you come up with such great ideas 😫✋

also I guess this isn't your Writing but I love the way you text AJSBAJDB the way you say everything is just so funny and I aspire to text like you 😞

(ask game from here)

hi oomfie 🤍🤍 thank you for blowing up my ask box like always /gen

but yeah i make connections to media i feel is so obscure on tumblr dot com like barely anyone interacted with the post i made about revalink au based off of the k-drama 'goblin' because probably no one in these spheres really watches k-drama 😭😭 i think one oomf rb'd knowing exactly what i was talking about but it's like COME ON GUYS IMAGINE THIS SCENE WITH REVALI AS THE GUY AND LINK AS THE GIRL AND LINK PULLING OUT THE SWORD AND [redacted because spoilers if you haven't watched the drama ㅠㅠ]

just the other day i was thinking about an orpheus!revali x eurydice!link au because i was listening to 'wait for me' from the musical 'hadestown'. what about a percy jackson au with revali as a son of apollo who resents link because he gets claimed by a powerful god that no one would have ever guessed would have children. i have part of a scene drafted in my informal-concepting style of a fucking writer!link x editor!revali au. i cannot stress to you enough how insane and Not Normal i am about these two, i will stretch so far to make every connection to revalink i can, i might just get a little taller!

BUT TEEHEE i'm hoping i can get That™ Revalink fic out on time for revalink week 🥺 i stopped writing it for a bit because i got some writer's block and i felt like i was putting too much Plot for a oneshot, but we'll see how it goes! i planned some other stuff based on the prompts, but with the way this semester is going, i doubt i'll be able to write full-fledged oneshots on time for each of them so i may end up just uploading them later on after the semester is over (late may, june, etc)

LOL to that last bit, idk....... i've spent so much time on stan twitter and the internet in general i've developed a very particular way of talking. i'm someone who, if you say a certain word or phrase around me enough, i'll start adding it to my vocabulary without really thinking. like the reason why i type 'not' and 'sorry' as 'nawt' and 'sawry' sometimes? my stan twitter bestie lele (i'm not gonna tag her but she's on here as well i know ur seeing this bff i love u sm). how sometimes my emoji usages are random? also partly lele and other stan twitter mutuals who liked to use random emojis that had nothing to do with the topic because it was funny. i feel like the way i type things online expresses exactly the tone and flow i would use irl too 🤞😽

[just-some-random-blogger]

meow meow, hottie-cutie! good morning! some love time for the best tumblr writer! 'i understand British accents' omg you're so big brained big sister!! ig i really am a little (ironic isn't it) meow meow next to you. i'm amazed you seem to be really smart, interesting, intelligent, bright and soso lovely-lovely. (and hot yes) i would've liked to be mutuals or friends with you for real ig? no but who are we to each other... you don't really need to answer it if you don't want to. what about british accent, it's more about the speed at which they speak?? i've sent my bestie a voice message with them speaking, turned it on and heard only 'lawlawlaw'... my brain may be big (not as much as yours) but too slow... and like spoilers... i know these TT girl i've been hyperfixated on this show since idk? november? october? tumblr and wiki almost showed me it TT i know the plot pretty good. tbh, i have really mixed feelings about rhaenyra's kids and jace being her heir? bc yes love is love and he's basically still targaryen, i can understand her being a wild girl in need of personal life and freedom. but thinking about the image of targaryens as the royalties, i don't really approve this? but i'm not on the greens' side bc?? i still haven't watched the show what am i talking about TT srry if i said smth stupid. next time i'll try better. 'IMMA BONK THAT LOSER MATT SO HARD FOR MAKING YOU SAD WHY ARE YOU SAD???' omg you sound SO like an elder sister rn TT thank you TT i'm always the one who people wants to bonk their enemies for them bc of my big stature? lol i'm literally all bark and no bite, i always just stand next to my short friend who beats the shit out of everyone like the meme with a small barking dog and a big one who's afraid of the first one. srry i've got distracted. i'm grateful! your words sound really comforting to me. but it's not like smth happened. this situation (like all things i must do but also the need to watch hotd without subtitles and so on) is so... ridiculous. it's killing me. why do i sound so whiny and complaining TT srry ig this's just how i see my life. (no but hotd already made my cry a couple of times) 'that means you want me to be nervous' IM SORRY TT it's good you understood i hadn't meant it. it was late with my brain even slower. wish you strong nerves!! giving them to you with a big kiss on your big brain!! thank you sm for your support, my most comfort person!! hope you can (or already did) forgive you too. 'i’m sure the same could be said about your kitty' ok i'm gonna make it a little sad rn. that very day, after nearly attacking my mom, my cat came back to me to lay on my lap. so now i'm crying and i'm not hot TT my face is pretty ugly rn but my eyes are shiny and it's pretty ig OH YOU KNOW WHAT?? you've reposted 'I, Unfortunately, Love You Most' and i recalled i was that anon too TT maybe even your work inspired me to request 'it takes two' and ask to make it more cruel sidjdpsp i like miserable and desperate daemon. i literally have fucking huge plot abt it in my notes... *winkwink* i've got a lot of thoughts about fics about daemon and some ideas but i feel like you're too busy. and like i need to go to bed... so have a nice day! take care! love you <з

MEEEEEEEEOW

meow meowmoew meow

some love time for the best tumblr writer!

💅💅💅🥺🥺🥺🥺 purr

'i understand British accents' omg you're so big brained big sister!!

bonk 🤠 understanding chavs that go innit is gauge of big brained-ness for you ?? LOL HAHAH

ig i really am a little (ironic isn't it) meow meow next to you. i'm amazed you seem to be really smart, interesting, intelligent, bright and soso lovely-lovely. (and hot yes)

lol but ur taller that me ??? HAHAHH i am pretty smart interesting intelligent bright and soso lovely-lovely AND hot arent i HAHAHAH <3 🥺😍 idk why ur saying this suddenly but <3 im honored for the high regard lovie

i would've liked to be mutuals or friends with you for real ig? no but who are we to each other... you don't really need to answer it if you don't want to.

WE CAN BE MUTUALS! and friends (aren't we already 💔)

what about british accent, it's more about the speed at which they speak?? i've sent my bestie a voice message with them speaking, turned it on and heard only 'lawlawlaw'...

that happens. sometimes idk what my sister is saying and we speak the same languages HHHHAHAH also we speak to each other in english accents cos its fun innit

my brain may be big (not as much as yours) but too slow... and like spoilers... i know these TT girl i've been hyperfixated on this show since idk? november? october? tumblr and wiki almost showed me it TT i know the plot pretty good.

HAHAHHAH MALAY KO BA (Filipino for how would i know ig lsdfaashf it's hard to translate) yeah same i knew what was gonna happen in the show because i think i started watching the show was already like on its 7th or 8th episode i didnt feel the need to skip through spoilers tbh though sometimes i did like its fine. also big brains arent meant to be compared 😡

tbh, i have really mixed feelings about rhaenyra's kids and jace being her heir? bc yes love is love and he's basically still targaryen, i can understand her being a wild girl in need of personal life and freedom. but thinking about the image of targaryens as the royalties, i don't really approve this? but i'm not on the greens' side bc?? i still haven't watched the show what am i talking about TT srry if i said smth stupid. next time i'll try better.

first of all you didnt say anything stupid. second of all, i agree, i too have mixed feelings towards rhaenyra in general lol. i mean they're all problematic, third of all. fourth of all, they all need extensive therapy and the rod of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. fifth of all, AHAHAHHA 'love is love' goo off queen but also DAMN 3 times HAHAdiaslgfasfasfhlasfhas i get why alicent is so pissed T_T sixth of all, i also dont approve of it, lol but im glad rhaenyra has her papa on her side. seventh of all, viserys problematic af too. eighth of all, im not on black/green side either, though since rhaenyra is mostly the protagonist of the story, people are more inclined to support her because that was how she was presented. again. they all problematic af AHAHAHAH

'IMMA BONK THAT LOSER MATT SO HARD FOR MAKING YOU SAD WHY ARE YOU SAD???' omg you sound SO like an elder sister rn TT thank you TT i'm always the one who people wants to bonk their enemies for them bc of my big stature? lol i'm literally all bark and no bite, i always just stand next to my short friend who beats the shit out of everyone like the meme with a small barking dog and a big one who's afraid of the first one.

lol HAHAH idk if its me being an elder sister or just me being intense. mayhap a bit of both. i will fight anyone for people i love. idc if theyre taller than me. people that are taller than me inspire my rage even more because ??? you think your safe just cause youre head dangling up in the ceiling ??? i think not. buttttt tbh irl im a pacifist AHHAHAH fr im usually the mediator i just talk a lot of smack, but when it comes to it, i usually resolve things peacefully.

im wonho in the end 'i dont smash i want peace

you and i are the same then, all bark no bite (just a nibble i think AHHAHA)

srry i've got distracted. i'm grateful! your words sound really comforting to me. but it's not like smth happened. this situation (like all things i must do but also the need to watch hotd without subtitles and so on) is so... ridiculous. it's killing me. why do i sound so whiny and complaining TT srry ig this's just how i see my life. (no but hotd already made my cry a couple of times)

im glad i can be a comfort to you my love. its ok to feel frustrated over things that frustrate you. its better sometimes to ride it out so that you let go of the feeling more wholly. as someone who watches a bunch of foreign films/shows, i understand the frustration of finding content without subtitles you can read so its ok. idk if i cried over hotd but i did very much feel disturbed many times over

'that means you want me to be nervous' IM SORRY TT it's good you understood i hadn't meant it. it was late with my brain even slower. wish you strong nerves!! giving them to you with a big kiss on your big brain!! thank you sm for your support, my most comfort person!! hope you can (or already did) forgive you too.

'i’m sure the same could be said about your kitty' ok i'm gonna make it a little sad rn. that very day, after nearly attacking my mom, my cat came back to me to lay on my lap. so now i'm crying and i'm not hot TT my face is pretty ugly rn but my eyes are shiny and it's pretty ig

T_T MY LOVE T_T IDK WHAT TO SAY ITS GREAT THAT YOUR CATE CAME BACK BUT ALSO REALLY SAD its ok to cry if ur sad but dont let yourself be sad all the time. i kiss my pretty darling

OH YOU KNOW WHAT?? you've reposted 'I, Unfortunately, Love You Most' and i recalled i was that anon too TT maybe even your work inspired me to request 'it takes two' and ask to make it more cruel sidjdpsp i like miserable and desperate daemon.

DANG THAT WAS YOU TOO you really are my #0 fan AHHAAAHHA tbh i love cruel fics but sometimes i dont think i write it well enough lol

i literally have fucking huge plot abt it in my notes... *winkwink* i've got a lot of thoughts about fics about daemon and some ideas but i feel like you're too busy. and like i need to go to bed... so have a nice day! take care! love you <з

you can always send me your thoughts if you want to. it's really just that i get back to them a little late because of how famous i am 😎 lol but in all seriousness, im so honored so many people like my writing enough to req things from me so yeah im luv u all<3

xxx

[celestie0]

ELLIEIEIIEIEIE hiii ☺️💗

its been forever bae i’ve missed uuu ☹️ i’ve been so busy lately i havent had time to send in my asks 😞 i’ve been thinking abt u tho 😘🤞(omg gojo is that u?? am i gojo??)

OKAY BUT BAE OH MY GODDDDD I’ve started catching feelings for one of my friends and he is literally the sweetest kindest most caring boy i’ve ever met. we’ve been friends for YEARS and he has literally NEVER hurt me. he’s the kind of person you can talk to about anything and he will literally literally not judge you no matter what ☹️whenever im with him i always feel so safe

OKAY BUT LEMME TELL U A FEW THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED WITH HIM CAUSE LIKE I SWEAR THERES SOMETHING BETWEEN US⁉️

okay so a while ago his friend who imma call J was interested in me and kept trying to flirt with me, but the guy i like (imma call him C) noticed this and he got like very protective of me. like for example he wouldn’t leave me alone with J, he’d be kinda touchy when J was around and he always made sure to keep J at a distance. One time tho J approached me when C was busy doing something and J was like saying some kinda weird creepy stuff to me so when I told C he was FURIOUS 😭 I swear he looked like he wanted to smack someone, I also found out that J was a playboy and he liked to mess with a lot of girls so I think thats why C was acting that way??

the other time was a few days ago C and I decided to hang out at a park bc it was a nice day and I decided to make a flower crown bc there were a bunch of daisies,, so I was sitting on the grass making it and C was sitting next to me watching me so I asked if he wanted one but like the boring man he is he said no 😒😒 so i picked up a daisy and tucked it behind his ear instead 😆 he wore it the entire time we were out and he even kept it ☹️ lowk felt like i was having a main character moment, LIKE IT FELT STRAIGHT OUTTA A FANFIC OR SOMETHING 😭 it felt fanfic worthy anyway 🤷‍♀️ OKAY BUT I SWEAR I CANT TELL IF HE KNOWS IN FLIRTING WITH HIM OR NOT 😭 cause like i said we’ve been friends for years so we’re just super comfortable and close with each other 😭😭

okay but enough abt C,, how’re u doing bae?? i’ve been missing u lately ☹️💗 i hope you’ve been taking care of yourself! it was pretty hot up here in norcal for this past week so I can only assume its been hot down there as well?? imma tell u bae as a city girl,, i cannot deal with hot weather. over 67° and i’m melting 😭 idk how you guys in socal do it 😭

anyway bae thats all for now,,

BYEBYE AND I LOVE U SO MUCH 💗💗

-🦌 anon

awwww hii my love i was thinking about you earlier last week!! so happy to see u <33

omg 🤧 C sounds soooo nice :””) he had those red flag glasses on when he was steering u clear of J but also maybe he was jealousss?? 🤔🫣🤭 also the flower thing is so adorable n you’re so right that’s like straight out of a fanfiction omggg ✋🏼😭 friends to lovers goes CRAZZYYY. if you like him bb u should tell him how u feeeeeel. i just watched ‘one day’ netflix series recently which is like friends to lovers but hella slowburn over the course of like twenty years but if there’s anything it taught me, it was to just tell ppl how u feel honestlyyy 😭😭😭 i’m rooting for you!! also is this the same guy that you were texting last time that wanted to stay awake w youuu at night?? 👁️

i’ve been doing well my love!! i just got back from a 20 mile bike ride so i’m exhausted n gonna go pass out LOL. im training to do a 100 miler w my friends in october so 😵‍💫😵‍💫 been spending sunday mornings working on rides haha. but yea im chillin im gonna hang out w my mom cuz mothers day i think her fav brunch spot is doing some 15% off mimosas thing so my brother n i are gonna take her there. YEA omg its getting hotter slowly, surprisingly this week is going to be still cold for us, tbh it’s supposed to be hotter this time of the year i’m a bit surprised by how pleasant it was when i was out riding today?? the sun only came out around 10am. shocked but i’m not complaining HAHAHA. we’re like low 70s rn and its bliss bc once summer hits i just wanna DIE. so jelly of youuu ik norcal has some wind to cut the heat too but not so much here at least not where i live since i’m more central from the beach 😭

i missed u toooo bb so nice to hear from you <333 LOVE YA HUGS N KISSES 💋 💕

- ellie 🦢

[itsjustwhatyoumustdo]

cheer up entry 2: jobless monday by mitski

12/6/2023

im back like . a day later. its gonna be short im on the bus typing this and today i am sad because i lost a friendship and i didn’t even know it. and i feel very sad because i wanted to be a really good friend but i guess i didn’t live up to it. and i didnt really have a say in this friendship ending. i dont know.

whenever i am in a rwally bad state (worse than something to trigger me writing out when the pawn) i listen to jobless monday by mitski on repeat. it scares people when tbey see it on my spotify activity think. im doing it rn

genuinely i like this song and its been my favorite mitski song since 2016. its just a comfort song.

last time i did this i was having a bad day at work. i dont really wanna get into the other times but know it was even worse

gonna talk about why i like this song cuz im still processing bc what happened today unfortunately

i like the bassline a lot i think thats what struck me when i first listened, its sonically very similar to francis forever and first love late spring but theres something more sad about it? more hopeless? and i love a song that leads in with bass. so thats that

the instrumental bridge too :) i love the synth(?) not sure what instrument it is

“oh i miss when we first met / he didn’t know me yet” i like the rhyme i like the sentiment even though its very hopeless. i dont have a lot of words rn unfortunately

“as long as we’re out in the sun” ohhhh my favorite line like we need to be in the sun also something something “you’re the sun / you’ve never seen the night” from your best american girl. parallels.

this song will always be here for me and i will always be here for it! i will always talk abt how its my favorite mitski song..

gonna process everything tonight and hopefully it’ll be okay. i’ll be fine i just feel kinda cheated idk

my last fm activity to close this one out lol

[train-inthedistance]

-

[hua-fei-hua]

We're both Gendefluid, and we sway from here and there on the spectrum! i Forgot to mention that I, the great fake partner, wore flannel with half sunglasses, It was a fun Fake date, and it wouldn't be our last.

oooo cool cool!! so i’m guessing i should use they/them to refer to both of you unless otherwise specified?

quick question what the HECK do half-sunglasses look like? like

are they sunglasses w/only one lens, or only partially tinted sunglasses???

[thatnarcissisticfeel]

hi! so i don’t rlly know how to even phrase this but lately i’ve had a lot of stuff getting worse, none of the “basic” diagnoses i have (like depression and anxiety and stuff) describes it at all. so i’ve started questioning if i maybe have a personality disorder bc it’d all make sense, both the behaviors and how i see the world and why its only getting worse and more noticeable now etc.

i keep finding myself in cluster B PD traits and lately ive been reading more on NPD and i genuinely completely see myself in the description of the covert subtype. i always blame others for everything and am completely unable of accepting or feeling guilt. nothing is ever my fault, its always someone else doing something or provoking me or it’s the way i was raised or it’s because of the system etc. i’m deeply insecure but hate showing any kind of vulnerability. when i’m in a vulnerable position i get ashamed and angry bc i cant stand feeling weak. i often get so angry i do shit that could easily destroy all the relationships i have. i never apologize (unless it’s a situation where i have to in order to save the relationship but still never actually feel sorry) bc that’s showing vulnerability and admitting i’m wrong. i always compare myself with others, i used to think this doesnt apply to me bc i generally don’t care about typical things such as popularity and status as i’ve always been an outcast - and it’s kind of a major part of my identity that i feel different than everyone else (even though its most likely just how i was forced to learn to cope with being excluded), but i’ve come to realize i absolutely do always see myself as “the worst one” in terms of mental health. i can’t stand others talking about their issues bc no you don’t even have it that bad at all, i’m worse. i feel like no one will ever be able to truly understand me bc the majority of people are npcs anyway. no one thinks for themselves, they dont have any self awareness and just do what they’re told. i treat others like shit but still expect them to be nice to me because i deserve it because i’m sick. i deserve more attention from doctors because of how unwell i feel. i should be the one that gets treated first. i obviously never voice these feelings but it makes me so pissed off when i have to wait like i’m never important enough for anyone. like there was this one case when i had to wait longer for my appointment bc some girl came in due to an emergency and all i felt was angry and annoyed and like when is it my turn to get taken seriously?? i completely lack affective empathy and very rarely genuinely care about others. others being sad annoys me and others being happy makes me angry, sometimes even to the point of having homicidal thoughts. i’m envious of pretty much everyone who i consider better off than me. and again i dont mean shit like money or clothes but more like just the ability to be normal, having close friends, being in a relationship, all that stuff i know i’ll never be able to have bc of my mental illnesses. i’ve never been able to form genuine relationships, i do have a few friends but they all mean nothing to me and are just there so i’m not lonely. i’ve never been able to feel love or affection for anyone. and when i think abt it i dont even really want to be like them, i just want to make them suffer. i lie to everyone and only reveal my “true” self when im having a breakdown and basically cant control myself anymore as i have so much suppressed anger inside i sometimes feel like i have to genuinely put effort into stopping myself from physically attacking others; who cares abt words when im that far gone. and even then i later turn it around and make it seem like im just depressed and stuff (which is true, but theres also so much more no one knows about). everyone around me considers me a shy meek polite nice caring person and it just feels so ironic.

idk what to do at this point, genuinely. writing it all down like this makes me sound so fucked up even though i act relatively normal when i’m stable enough. but in reality i feel like on the inside i’m just breaking, i’ve had to turn to drug abuse as its literally the only thing that helps me cope with everything & prevent me from being even more destructive (towards both others and myself) and its making me even more short tempered when im sober and even more paranoid someone’s going to find out and get me in trouble. my therapist knows about it but doesnt do shit. ive been on so many psych meds before but its as if literally nothing ever works on me. like i would never normally seek advice on tumblr out of all places but i thought just maybe i would get understood here as i keep getting just either ignored or insulted on places like reddit (sure jan calling me a psycho is definitely going to help my issues when all i did was fucking ask how to cope with my issues).

sorry abt the wall of text. do you have any advice? ive been going to therapy for years but its all useless. i cant be honest with anyone for pretty obvious reasons. i just really dont feel like living for much longer. but even just acknowledging this ask and not judging me would mean a lot.

I obviously can’t diagnose you, but I will say a LOT of what you said is behaviors that and I other NPDs do, which makes me think that even if you don’t have it, advice and such that is geared towards pwNPD could help you. Unfortunately there isn’t much self-help geared towards pwNPD (I say self-help bc clearly your therapist is not a good therapist for you and I know it would probably be difficult to get a new one), but DBT workbooks are a good place to start. I think they’re technically geared more towards BPD, but they can definitely still help narcissists. Stuff like this is why I hate how much NPD is stigmatized, because we all DO deserve help and we all DON’T deserve to feel like this.

It sounds pretty basic, but are you a part of anything like online NPD/cluster B support groups, ie discord servers? Obviously they’re not a cure-all, but even just being around people who have the same thing and who you don’t have to mask around can help. If you don’t have any I could happily provide some if I can find a public one. Of course, communities like that can be a hit or miss, but it’s definitely at least worth a shot to try to find a group of people who are struggling with the same thing.

Another piece of advice, which might sound completely neurotypical on the surface, is to start journaling or writing down feelings. It might seem like just a small thing but having a place that only you can access where you can talk about things like vulnerability could be a good starting point, because at least you’re admitting it to yourself and getting it out there in some way. Lying to everyone and not being able to show your true self is really exhausting, so having one space that’s yours and yours only where you can learn to be comfortable with being vulnerable — even if it’s just to yourself — is a tiny thing that can work wonders. It doesn’t have to be some super dramatic “dear diary, woe is me” type thing, it can be something as simple as “Today I fucked up, and I know I fucked up, but I still blame xyz, I hate xyz.” That way you’re getting the vulnerable thoughts AND the angry thoughts out there without 1.) hurting others with the angry thoughts or 2.) having to show vulnerabity which would hurt you.

Of course the end goal might be to “unlearn” the behaviors, so to speak, but that can’t be done overnight, and until it is done, it’s better to have a few places to be open, even if it’s just amongst yourself or other pwNPD.

I hope this helped, lmk if you need more advice — and definitely know that you’re not alone, as cheesy as it sounds.

[unalivejournal]

u mentioned only reading kripke era fic do you have a reclist 👀👀👀and if not could you link some of ur faves cuz the stuff that gets circulated the most right now is all like late late seasons fic and kripke era is my favorite too but im having trouble finding that many fics for it or even seasons 6-10 era which im fine with also. its just that like. the last five seasons were so bad that it makes fic generally worse too because people have to jump off of just Thee stupidest plot choices no matter how good their prose skills might be. but anyway yea if u have recs that would be awesome :)

hi anon i was thinking abt making a reclist and u just gave me the perfect excuse thank u

jess adamilligan’s kripke era fic recs

from making this ive learned that i never bookmark ANYTHING. sorry all of these r like….. 10k and under. i DO read longer fic but i don’t have any kripke era longfics bookmarked & tbh i prefer short oneshots

season one gen

disclaimer because it’s unfortunately needed: NONE of these are w*ncest! they’re all completely tagged as gen and i did not read them with the intent of consuming ship content.

Coaster Park by fogsrollingin, 10.4k, G, gen

Coaster Park had been experiencing an unusually high frequency of technical difficulties. Dean wouldn't have pulled a shift treating nauseated, heat-stroked, or dehydrated park-goers for that if he could've helped it, but when 'technical difficulties' were accompanied by rumors of things moving and stopping on their own in front of the operators' eyes, Dean had to throw down.

No historical tragedies or disasters in the area, ectoplasm, or EMF. Dean's only lead was a battered-looking kid that'd been coming to the park every day since it'd all started.

really interesting au fic! slightly ‘it’s a terrible life’. dean winchester is a hunter/EMT and sam wesson is a college kid destined to die on a roller coaster ride.

two basic motivating forces by sahwen, 7.8k, T, gen

He can’t cry, it’s not allowed; even as a child he was hushed into silence, whether his tears were from a long car ride or a late night or a raging fever. It’s never been an option, it’s never been an available outlet, and it’s not about to start being one just because he’s having an emotional breakdown on the bathroom floor.

Sam isn't only afraid of clowns.

BIG emetophobia tw (both for graphic depictions of nausea/vomiting and for the fact that this fic is about sam suffering from emetophobia) for this one but it’s my favorite sickfic. portrays anxiety over getting sick really well and is a fascinating examination of the different ways that sam’s fear of loss of control can manifest itself. also has lovely brothers content <3

Let’s Start at the Very Beginning (Remix of Just as Easy as 123) by nwspaprtaxis, 4k, T, gen

Dean’s functionally illiterate and Sam’s determined to remedy it...

PLEASE READ THIS ONE god it’s so sweet. dean never learned how to read properly due to his nomadic childhood and sam teaches him how.

dean/cas

Broadway Musical by Griftings, 9k, M, m/m

This is the day that marked the Holy and Blessed Union of Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle.

The merging of prominent bloodlines is always a grand occurrence, but breeding pedigree hunter families like Winchester and Harvelle is something to be rejoiced. It is also something to be meticulously planned, which thankfully the Host is very good at.

Or, the romantic comedy where Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle are destined to get married, Castiel is given the task of playing matchmaker and fails terribly, the entire Heavenly Host becomes a sitcom audience, God warns against male pregnancy, and Jimmy Novak is incredibly unimpressed with angels in general.

somewhat of a fandom classic and the humor holds up wonderfully. a very silly fic completed with commentary from angel radio throughout the entire thing.

Sappiest Season by dollsome, 2.7k, G, m/m

In which Dean and Cas have to stop an evil Christmas tree (like you do), and it requires a little fake couple action.

hilarious little s5ish fic. one of the first i read when getting back into spn. i don’t want to spoil anything but this is my favorite pick me up and i still giggle randomly whenever i think about it

The (Mostly Accidental) Courtship of Dean Winchester by tuesday

Angelic marriage rites were never intended to go quite like this.

another fandom classic. ik this one is recced a lot but how could i NOT include it. dean and cas get married (mostly by accident) and they’re huge cunts about it

the one thing in the galaxy god didn't have his eyes on by prufrock, 2.4k, T, gen + m/m

“Wait,” Dean says. “Let me get this right. You can fly, right—you can teleport—but you can’t drive a car?”

or, after the events of S5E03 "Free to Be You and Me," Dean teaches Cas to drive. Cas finds it stressful

im always a sucker for a good ftbyam fic. also i can’t drive so. resonation

So Says The Sword by komodobits, 85k, E, m/m

The briefing was simple: ‘Stand guard over the Michael Sword until the battle is ready to commence. Await further instructions.’

Castiel doesn’t mind working security duty; he was briefed shortly after the initial salvation of the Sword from the pit, and again before taking up his position. He knows what to do. However, it’s easy to forget that the green room isn’t real. Time moves differently there, the space ever-changing to make a prison of mountains, cathedrals, salt flats, orchards, and whatever Castiel was led to believe about Heaven’s greatest weapon—Dean Winchester is something entirely unexpected.

NO introduction neede. i think everyone on spntumblr has read this already but still. if you haven’t then i am demanding that you read it NOW. tbh i’m just adding this one so that i have at least one long fic here 😭

the weight by @myaimistrue, 3.5k, T, gen + m/m

“Do you…” Bobby sighs. “Listen, Dean, do you have something you wanna tell me?”

It’s the conversational equivalent of being punched in the stomach.

Or, Dean works through some things with Bobby's help.

WHEN I SAW THE USERNAME I GASPED I HAD NO IDEA THIS WAS U. anyway i Love coming out fics idk why i just do. the world is ending and dean comes out to bobby

canticles by 2street2car, 10.3k, T, m/m

“But you know something? If I couldn’t get you laid, at least I gave you a good first date.”

feat: footsies at a Ruby Tuesday, stargazing, the recreation of an iconic "Dirty Dancing" scene (no, not that one—the other one), and practicing for When You're With A Girl.

another ftbyam fic that skepticalfrog (i believe?) recommended a while back. made me feel at least 28 new emotions

Epilogue by JayneL, 28k, E, m/m

Bobby is here, swearing somewhere above and behind him; and Dean is here, talking about 2014 like it's a foreign country; and Sam is here, and is not Lucifer. Which means-- Bobby is here, swearing somewhere above and behind him; and Dean is here, talking about 2014 like it's a foreign country; and Sam is here, and is not Lucifer. Which means--

Cas is no longer when he was. Lucifer sent him back.

Coda to 'The End'.

2014 cas gets sent back to 2009, feelings ensue etc. i don’t remember all the details of this one bc it’s been a while but it’s really good

bonus

currently reading

Fragile As We Lie by perilously, 11k, E, f/f

Dragging Bela Talbot out of perdition isn't so much a decision as it is a frantic choice based on gut instinct. Her soul is bright, if fractured, and Anna yearns to do good again after the perversion of free will that immediately preceded her death.

Bela's no ordinary human, though; she's prickly and damaged and beautiful, and Anna doesn't want to leave her side. So maybe they can figure out how to navigate post-resurrection, post-Apocalypse-that-wasn't Earth together.

[volfoss]

Omg can u pleaseeeee rant about fanon prosciutto 🥰 I already do every day but I love the salt. Also fanon Kira 🤨

omg <3333 ok <3

prosciutto:

ENOUGH OF MAKING THIS MAN A DADDY!!! ENOUGH OF MAKING HIM CRAZY DOMINANT!!!!! HE IS ANCIENT!!!! as someone who (unfortunately) consumes a lot of LS content and regrets going into the tag, its SO bad. people really just kinda? treat him like hes insanely kinky and weird about shit (i mean they do w like ALL of la squadra but <3 this is about prosciutto rn). i HATE suave prosciutto too like literally where in canon is he smooth talking or even really anything other than giving his little awkward pep talks to pesci/talking back to bruno. neither situation really feels like hes suave or would... well, be like how people treat him in fanon? like i rly rly think people take ONE aspect of his personality and run w it, which ig is understandable for him showing up for 2-3 episodes but also like think critically!! also omg i nearly forgot about sexist/misogynistic prosciutto which is SUCH a bad take... girl why are u writing abt ur fave and being like "wow he beats women 😍". i THINK its all derived from the ONE line towards trish (at least in the dub, i dont remember how he acts in the sub or manga off the top of my head and quite honestly i do not care enough to rewatch/reread) and people just are like omg hes so so full of hatred towards women. he literally never interacts w a woman like?? the entire time hes shown??? but yeah sure lets make his ONE trait be hates women. or that oh wow he REALLY hates pesci when its literally just a mentor mentee relationship! u literally DO NOT have to make them hate each other!! or make it so wow prosciutto hates spending time around him or like wow prosciutto is MADLY in love with him. there are literally other ways of viewing a relationship other than wow theyre best friends and they hate each other!!

also omg ship time!!!!! i hate rispro <3 and brupro (and obvi propesci) tbh. so uh lets start w rispro! ENOUGH of shoving the smaller guy into the mommy role!!! enough of being like wow prosciutto is such a twink!!! literally stop forcing two men into hetero-normative roles but sure ok <3 also literally?? they rly dont interact a lot in canon but the jojo fandom LOVES to ship small guy x kind of intimidating big guy (cough cough jotakak) for no reason so its not rly surprising. rispro makes prosciutto very feminine for literally NO reason, in the way that they have to contrast with how big and strong and so so scary risotto is. like theres art of them out there thats just like prosciutto tiny as shit and risotto towering over him when theres like what? 3 inches of a height difference in the anime? to me it rly feels like a ship for people that don't really think about either characters differently than the common fanon perception.

brupro time omg <3 so bruno is 20!! important factor for the jojo fandom who doesnt rly like to check ages for characters <3 and prosciutto doesnt rly have a canon age but definitely seems older than bruno (idk i feel mid to late 30s). and the common dynamic ppl put them in is wow ex bfs/divorced. all important info before i get into my problems with it. to me it feels rly rly weird bc bruno is young (and as someone who is 20 it feels weird as shit for people to be like omg divorced esp w the age of marriage in italy being 18 iirc) and like?? you just want enemies to lovers when they fought once and again!!! barely interacted!!! its literally not interesting or fun, and people just rly rly dwell on their dynamic being either divorced or idk pta moms (😒). like its literally so so boring bc again they literally barely interacted and its just?? rly rly dumb.

anyways to conclude- fanon pros is SO bad and like one of the worst fanon receivers for LS and i am literally so sick of any ship w him!!

kira:

prefacing this with i do not consume a ton of fanon for him bc i am SURE it is mostly rly bad. from the little ive seen, its a lot of either wow hes the worst (true as fuck! but hes also more nuanced than that side of the fandom perceives him) or wow omg... best dad and husband ever. taking the first half on first, i think its genuinely a lot of perceiving him as rly just a villain and not as a character if that makes sense? not saying that they dont really understand him but it feels like on a sliding scale of sympathetic nice guy -> completely irredeemable villain, people go to the opposite ends without realizing there can be nuance in his character. he is literally just a little loser that kills people and sucks!! onto the other half because holy shit the dad kira and wow husband kira so domestic stuff is so so prevalent. the good dad thing is so??? guys... guys listen to me. did we forget the entire second half of DiU? where he literally killed hayato and trapped him in a death loop? but yeah sure he would be SUCH a good dad, wow i cant believe that trying to kill your kind of son is such a good dad move omg... like again i KIND OF get wanting to make a dad thats in jojo be good but also literally he is the LAST candidate for being a good dad. and as for being a good husband, he literally only showed care for shinobu once (when she nearly died bc of stray cat) and everything else was literally all manipulative. he wasnt kissing her before work on the time loop day because he wanted to, it was LITERALLY a powermove over hayato. it wasnt because he actually loved or cared about her. genuinely he uses the people around him, he isnt a nice guy like remotely. i understand wanting to romanticize stuff but this guy literally thinks about (and nearly does) strangling her multiple times?? but yeah omg wow best husband ever award.

[vonkarma2]

either breaking bad or revolutionary girl utena whichever you’d prefer

I wanted to do both but that would take a long time so I decided to do some for rgu and some for breaking bad and some for both of them. Enjoy this confusing and disorienting experience

favorite male character: There’s really not that many to choose from in rgu most of them suck. Miki wins by doing nothing. For real though I am sympathetic to him and I think he’s interesting (even though his English va sounds weirdly old and also like the voice of tintin from the tintin tv show) + he’s just a guy yk he’s just a kid like the rest of the student council members so I do feel bad for him + want him to leave Ohtori and all. Also honorable mention to that little boy whose name I forget, some people hated his episode and I get why but I didn’t dislike it. In breaking bad I have to say ummmmmm saul for being funny 

favorite female character: Skyler by default since she got the most focus out of any female character, but genuinely I like a lot of scenes with her even though occasionally I have some problems with how she’s written overall it’s not even that bad it’s so frustrating how hated she is I feel like at worst people should be largely indifferent but they’re literally insane. But yeah that one argument she had with Walter about waiting for him to die late in the game was really good that was like the most intense scene in the show for me. With rgu it’s close between Utena Anthy and Nanami (although I like the other female characters too especially Juri). All of those 3 have been my favorite and it changes from time to time, but currently it’s Utena her design and personality + really charming and I think she’s very sympathetic, + I also like how they made her flawed in a lot of ways which are shown very subtly. Also I like her pink hair it’s so cute goated character design

least favorite character: The answer to this isn’t going to be interesting it’s Akio he’s like……. I mean if you’ve seen the show you know he’s so manipulative towards these children and is just a disgusting person on every level, not in like a funny way either it’s just really sad to watch. In breaking bad Hank highkey sucks like he gets away with a lot of shit that fans like NEVER talk about, I won’t mention it here bc moderate spoilers but like :| Walter is ofc worse though

prettiest character: Jane <3 

funniest character: Walter White is literally hilarious like throughout the entire show, from the beginning where he’s yelling at Jesse for whatever the fuck, to the time he asked Jesse which one he was when he told him one of his friends was killed, to the time he shut down meth lab production to swat a fly, to the time he crawled through broken glass, to the time he [spoiler] Jesse and somehow was still mad enough at him to tell him about how he [spoiler]. Truly out of touch with reality, and comically incompetent and foolish, until the very end. In rgu it’s nanami

favorite season: for breaking bad s4, it has a very exciting overall narrative and many of my favorite moments were in this season as well. It’s not the very end but it’s far enough in to have a lot going on yk. For Utena it doesn’t have seasons but it does have arcs and I like many other fans love the black rose arc, I really like all the individual episodes and the premise and the visuals, cannot be beat in my opinion 

favorite episode: I actually really liked the episode with one of Nanami’s sidekick girls during the black rose arc I know some people don’t care abt it but for whatever reason it really resonated with me, maybe because she’s stuck even further in the background than Wakaba? Idk I just felt really bad for her + so I really enjoyed her episode. I also liked the episode where Utena fights Mikage, the one where Nanami has to go to India, and the egg episode. Dw I like the actually good popular acclaimed episodes too 

favorite romantic ship: I don’t really have much interest in any of the romantic relationships on either of these shows except Anthy and Utena ofc so them, I like how their relationship ends up actually helping Anthy a lot and legitimately changing her worldview when that hadn’t happened before yk. And then I’ve heard it’s developed more in the movie, but I haven’t seen that, so I wouldn’t know. But I do like them a lot together 

favorite family ship: All the family relationships in both of these shows are pretty bad in one way or another LMAO I wouldn’t really say any of them. I guess Skyler and Walt Jr but even then I just felt bad for her (and also secondhand embarrassment) most of the time.   If we’re counting better call saul (we’re not it’s a different show) then Chuck and Jimmy’s relationship is ofc very interesting and a huge focus of the show. And Miki and Kozue I believe el have some development I think it’s nice to see them kind of fix their relationship ship later on. 

favorite friend ship: Anthy and Chu Chu bitch!!! Chu Chi the only light in the darkness for Anthy for years and they are true friends. I also really like the idea of Juri becoming friends with Utena and Anthy but that’s not really shown very much in the show. In breaking bad I think Badger and Skinny Pete are funny so them I love their Star trek scene that’s like the last funny thing in the show

worst ship: all the bad ones I guess the only like non creepy ship that people have that theres like somewhat indication of in the show is Touga/Saionji which I do kind of dislike considering how toxic both of them are as people and how their relationship is as well, especially with how manipulative Touga is. Some people think of it as post-character development or whatever but even so I don’t really like it. Wait I guess there’s also Juri/Shiori. Yeah that’s not that bad Im sticking with my original answer

[yakocchi]

Becoming a Family With Him, Part 3 // Shuichi, Hikaru, Rhion, Luke, Eisuke

so this came out, as further celebration for the anni. VERY GOOD, much more appreciated than the prior story set lol that one was kind of boring but i get it

they made the kids for all the... kid-less ones, and the eisuke one that used to be VIP-exclusive is now here for everyone to buy (rip those ppl who gacha for it)

my rambling behind the cut (spoilers!!)

shuichi // as ud expect, shuichi has a literal hime ass looking girl (kikyo) for a daughter. she’s only 6, but is pretty calm and ladylike. She even calls her parents with –sama so... ok luckily shuichi does not strip down all the way in the presence of her daughter and only takes off his suit coat. thanks dad

anyway since shuichi has a break coming up, he wants to have a family trip how nice. but then the dang girl wants to go over to see eisuke WHAT when soryu exists and lives a block away? unrelatable, im closing the app anyway eisuke is her first love, which wtf he’s like 20 yrs older than u. even worse, mc says she’s been in love since she was like 3.

shuichi is reconsidering the benefits of democracy in his mind but eventually relents. but then they’re still following the fucc-days rule they set years ago. well, as he says in the story, RULES ARE RULES

blah blah i don’t want to go over everything bc then it’ll be boring reading the story when it comes out in engl right? also im tired bc it’s 1 am and i just want to play toontown in bed but nothing really bad happens. they are a v cute family bc shuichi is a pleasant and mature dad. kikyo and mc even do a little surprise for him at the end and it is very sweet. i feel like out of all the families, this is the most ideal

mad hatter // so they have twin sons named Rui and Kai. Rui is the childlike one that resembles Rhion in personality, Kai is the more mature one that resembles Al. man i forget that boy’s name but u get me i know they only can use stock bgs but it’s killing me that these dang kids get to sleep in what looks like separate king sized beds.

even though rhion is now a father of two, he still acts like... 10. i mean he still horni but it makes me feel weird

later it’s revealed that Ota teaches them both as an art tutor bc they both showed an interest in art. this is cute bc ota is bad with kids in this universe LOL

the ending on this one was weird cuz the kids didn’t show up in the entirety of the last ep bc it was about WORK. so uh... interesting

hikaru // so their son is named akari. haha get it because it means light. like how hikaru also means light. can mc name her kids unrelated to their father or is that against the Geneva convention

this kid actually acts like an actual little boy. like what hikaru would’ve probably turned into if not for the whole sad backstory. the story starts with akari just bringing a dog randomly home one day. he actually saved the dog (it is very cute bc he did not want the dog to cry), and then after a talk they decide to keep the dog as long as akari knows the responsibility of taking care of an animal.

so next day, the bidders come over to their house and everyone’s like woaw a dog. lol they come into their house as guests and eisuke and mamo still demand for beverages, they all suck

akari names the dog... “Light” (Raito) and i want out of this nightmare. Naturally bc Light is an abandoned dog it’s still kind of bad with interacting with things. But then Light suddenly be giving the ( ╹ਊ╹) to soryu bc remember, animals love him. everyone clowns on soryu for being an unintentional dog whisperer and then akari is like “soryu san pls make me ur apprentice” and he gives some advice like approaching it slowly, and talking to it from the front instead of back.

blah blah there’s a situation where Light goes YEET after a Doberman gets all angry and then hides bc then another dog is scaring it. hikaru swoops in to the save the day as the Real Dog Whisperer. ok it’s cute when hikaru actually gets to look cool  for once LOL

luke // luke is cute on the bc “pre-story” scene he’s actually pretty open to the idea of having kids; he actually goes “well imo we should think abt it pretty soon, but i wanted to hear ur opinion on it” but then he gets horni. and then he’s like “our kids are going to have your collarbones. awesomeee im looking forward to that” ....ok

ok cut to the actual story and they’re in Japan. Luke’s kid looks... strange versus the others. why are his eyes so big? omg voltage his eyes arent going to be saucers just cuz he half white also the kid’s name is Yuri (Or Urey). They couldn’t think of any other Brit-styled names? Like Harry? Henry? William? Wilfred? hey stan be my princess btw he’s pretty cute, though he gives serious “timid kid that gets bullied in the children’s movie” vibes. He calls Luke “daddy” and mc “mammy/mommy”.

so luke talks about his relationship w/ soryu and eisuke and then yuri is like “i want friends like that” wow cute but also find less ethically-complicated friends

so luke lets yuri meet a young patient of his (haru) so they can be friends. they get along so it’s good. haru gets in critical condition later so luke zooms outta there to do the operation.

LOL but at the end yuri is like, “i want to make more friends. (...) can i go to the bidder’s room from now on?” this boy works fast

And then he’s like “Eisuke-san... please be my friend.” HIS POWER. even eisuke was like :O so then eisuke orders a whole bunch of food and books up to the penthouse. But then yuri’s like “...i like eisuke’s eyes” and everyone’s like oh man that’s gonna be his fetish

Baba: why have u started to have an interest in eyes Yuri: I read it from one of daddy’s medical books Hikaru: wtf u can read that at 4??? (...) Soryu: wat Yuri: um... i want soryu to be my friend too Yuri: bc soryu’s eyes are also powerfully cool...

eisuke // ok this gets an extended ramble bc the more annoying the story the longer i must complain

so you might be thinking, “oh so this is gonna be a flashback in some in media res styled story with your 2 kids, u know in the style of the others” and well, no you just go straight to white screen into the flashback, back when eito was smaller and thus a little more cute. well it’s not really false advertising bc they did say “reminisce” in the description. but i wanted to see eito be a good big brother for a moment! or... less good? man i wanted to see kaito go waaaah like a baby idk i wanted to see him exist

so back to the story they cut to small eito. even as a smaller punk he does fight with his dad a little, just w/ a more narrow vocabulary to work with. tho at this point he’s still pretty sweet so clearly eisuke clowning him day and night was a negative effect on his development. (doesn’t treat his child like a child) (child grows up to a punk that doesn’t respect him) (surprised pikachu) being the son of a billionaire means that this child has to go study at a very young age and listen to MOZART. no child of eisuke ichinomiya will be listening to degenerate bops like lee taemin’s criminal next day they all go to the very fancy school that eito will be attending. eisuke does a speech, but then eito is all like “why is papa over there all the time” in reference to how all the other parents in attendance are having fun with their children, but eisuke is busy talking to other people for business and connections etc. etc. mc kind of has a hard time trying to explain it to eito bc... it’s honestly poor parenting... eiji shows up after arriving late, and he’s like “gramps is gonna be with ya today! instead of papa” which is cute but then she’s like psst thanks for coming and im like oh... so grandpa just didn’t randomly come to the open house for fun he’s just gonna be surrogate dad while real dad is busy... aw... and then at the end eito’s like FUC THIS KINDERGARTEN. eisuke is like “(smh) don’t yell in public. (despite everything) you are still the eldest son of the Ichinomiya family”

and so afterwards it’s clear that eito does not want anything to do with this school. he just sits in the classroom until mc is there to pick him up instead of playing in the courtyard or w/e, wanting nothing to do with the other kids.

so later there’s a hiking trip for the students and both of their parents, and mc asks eisuke if he’ll be available for it. eisuke is like, “i have a business trip that day, so I’ll have to adjust my schedule” and he’s been very busy in the opening of a new business or w/e. mc tells him to not do so much for something like that and that it’s ok if she goes alone with eito on the trip.

it’s the day of the trip, and mc goes alone with eito. she notes that a lot of dads did indeed come along for the trip. she apologizes to eito and says that she did talk to eisuke about the trip before, but he’s simply busy for this day. and im like... but girl, you were the one who told him not to change his schedule for the trip. yes a trip may seem less important than business ventures, but don’t make it sound like you weren’t the one who stopped him. lol. idk why im pressed abt this single line of dialogue bc later she does realize she fucced up there well eito is just like w/e about it and has pretty much accepted that sort of thing

anyway eito goes missing later and one of the kids said that he told eito that his dad (eisuke) didn’t come bc his dad thinks that his work is more important than his son. so eito got mad and ran off somewhere

and then mc finally gets the lightbulb moment that eito... wants to see his dad!! he ran off to go try to see him somehow??? !! wow so sweet

it’s raining like a mf but then in her search for eito eisuke randomly pops out of nowhere. He’s like “ho i did not remember saying that i wasn’t coming” and she’s like “im sorrryyy” and both me and him are like “just find the dang kid”

ok yea they find eito, he starts being a good student, and u start to see where he starts being antagonistic towards his dad LOL etc. etc. lol this story annoyed me so i don’t feel like doing the rest of the play by play orz

anyway thanks for reading my garbage LOL