#not getting into propesci bc i simply do not have the time to get into all of my anger on it sowwy

[volfoss]

Omg can u pleaseeeee rant about fanon prosciutto 🥰 I already do every day but I love the salt. Also fanon Kira 🤨

omg <3333 ok <3

prosciutto:

ENOUGH OF MAKING THIS MAN A DADDY!!! ENOUGH OF MAKING HIM CRAZY DOMINANT!!!!! HE IS ANCIENT!!!! as someone who (unfortunately) consumes a lot of LS content and regrets going into the tag, its SO bad. people really just kinda? treat him like hes insanely kinky and weird about shit (i mean they do w like ALL of la squadra but <3 this is about prosciutto rn). i HATE suave prosciutto too like literally where in canon is he smooth talking or even really anything other than giving his little awkward pep talks to pesci/talking back to bruno. neither situation really feels like hes suave or would... well, be like how people treat him in fanon? like i rly rly think people take ONE aspect of his personality and run w it, which ig is understandable for him showing up for 2-3 episodes but also like think critically!! also omg i nearly forgot about sexist/misogynistic prosciutto which is SUCH a bad take... girl why are u writing abt ur fave and being like "wow he beats women 😍". i THINK its all derived from the ONE line towards trish (at least in the dub, i dont remember how he acts in the sub or manga off the top of my head and quite honestly i do not care enough to rewatch/reread) and people just are like omg hes so so full of hatred towards women. he literally never interacts w a woman like?? the entire time hes shown??? but yeah sure lets make his ONE trait be hates women. or that oh wow he REALLY hates pesci when its literally just a mentor mentee relationship! u literally DO NOT have to make them hate each other!! or make it so wow prosciutto hates spending time around him or like wow prosciutto is MADLY in love with him. there are literally other ways of viewing a relationship other than wow theyre best friends and they hate each other!!

also omg ship time!!!!! i hate rispro <3 and brupro (and obvi propesci) tbh. so uh lets start w rispro! ENOUGH of shoving the smaller guy into the mommy role!!! enough of being like wow prosciutto is such a twink!!! literally stop forcing two men into hetero-normative roles but sure ok <3 also literally?? they rly dont interact a lot in canon but the jojo fandom LOVES to ship small guy x kind of intimidating big guy (cough cough jotakak) for no reason so its not rly surprising. rispro makes prosciutto very feminine for literally NO reason, in the way that they have to contrast with how big and strong and so so scary risotto is. like theres art of them out there thats just like prosciutto tiny as shit and risotto towering over him when theres like what? 3 inches of a height difference in the anime? to me it rly feels like a ship for people that don't really think about either characters differently than the common fanon perception.

brupro time omg <3 so bruno is 20!! important factor for the jojo fandom who doesnt rly like to check ages for characters <3 and prosciutto doesnt rly have a canon age but definitely seems older than bruno (idk i feel mid to late 30s). and the common dynamic ppl put them in is wow ex bfs/divorced. all important info before i get into my problems with it. to me it feels rly rly weird bc bruno is young (and as someone who is 20 it feels weird as shit for people to be like omg divorced esp w the age of marriage in italy being 18 iirc) and like?? you just want enemies to lovers when they fought once and again!!! barely interacted!!! its literally not interesting or fun, and people just rly rly dwell on their dynamic being either divorced or idk pta moms (😒). like its literally so so boring bc again they literally barely interacted and its just?? rly rly dumb.

anyways to conclude- fanon pros is SO bad and like one of the worst fanon receivers for LS and i am literally so sick of any ship w him!!

kira:

prefacing this with i do not consume a ton of fanon for him bc i am SURE it is mostly rly bad. from the little ive seen, its a lot of either wow hes the worst (true as fuck! but hes also more nuanced than that side of the fandom perceives him) or wow omg... best dad and husband ever. taking the first half on first, i think its genuinely a lot of perceiving him as rly just a villain and not as a character if that makes sense? not saying that they dont really understand him but it feels like on a sliding scale of sympathetic nice guy -> completely irredeemable villain, people go to the opposite ends without realizing there can be nuance in his character. he is literally just a little loser that kills people and sucks!! onto the other half because holy shit the dad kira and wow husband kira so domestic stuff is so so prevalent. the good dad thing is so??? guys... guys listen to me. did we forget the entire second half of DiU? where he literally killed hayato and trapped him in a death loop? but yeah sure he would be SUCH a good dad, wow i cant believe that trying to kill your kind of son is such a good dad move omg... like again i KIND OF get wanting to make a dad thats in jojo be good but also literally he is the LAST candidate for being a good dad. and as for being a good husband, he literally only showed care for shinobu once (when she nearly died bc of stray cat) and everything else was literally all manipulative. he wasnt kissing her before work on the time loop day because he wanted to, it was LITERALLY a powermove over hayato. it wasnt because he actually loved or cared about her. genuinely he uses the people around him, he isnt a nice guy like remotely. i understand wanting to romanticize stuff but this guy literally thinks about (and nearly does) strangling her multiple times?? but yeah omg wow best husband ever award.