#I am so normal about them guys trust
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w3ndytheraccoon · 2 days ago
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By the gods I am on my knees please please please someone give me more Helen & Odysseus content please please please the PARALLELS people the PARALLELS between them and they’re implied to be atleast friendly with eachother in the Illiad and Odyssey GODS I NEED MORE ABOUT THEM-
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kookidough · 10 months ago
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analysing vance hopper because he lives in my head 24/7 !
tw for like. literally everything the black phone covers!!!!!!
also there's some special effects gore rather far down in the post idk just i feel like i should warn you just in case
okay so before anyones like "but bee!!!! he only had 6 minutes of screen time in a 102 minute long movie!!!!! he was only on screen for 5.8% of the movie!!!!!" and to that i say i Know it was a real tragedy so a lot of this will be built on personal interpretation and subtext and stuff said behind the scenes and whatnot
so firstly i wanna rot about what his childhood/upbringing might've been like..... i havent quite decided on something definitive but i think we can take one look at his character and realise that is glaringly obvious he had a bad childhood, in one interview the actor that plays him (brady hepner) says "the background i had set up for vance is that the reason he was the way he was is his home life was fairly difficult, you know maybe his dad was either not there for him or he wasn't supportive, maybe he was fairly abusive, and so that creates a hair trigger sense of rage in vance" hair trigger meaning his patience is literally as thin as a strand of hair it does Not take a lot for him to snap
there more to it after that which i'll get into soon but yea thats the gist of it it's clear he had absent/neglectful/abusive parents and that would certainly contribute to why he's so angry all the time, maybe acting so explosive was the only way to get his parents' attention, either good or bad, so he just internalised that. obviously rage and anger issues like vance's lead to violence (not in all cases but in his case it does) and i think a neglectful and abusive upbringing would obviously expose him to more violence than a normal childhood would, therefore normalising it and desensitising him to it, whether he's seeing it play out in his own home and/or on television or something like that (because i doubt his parents would be the kind to monitor what content he's viewing)
i feel like he has little control over his life and that only adds to his anger, which in his case leads to a fight when his buttons are pushed too many times. i think he probably takes great pride in being the toughest in town and whatnot and winning fights and being perceived as strong and scary is good to him and helps him regain control/power, something he doesnt have at home. the rest of the quote from the interview i mentioned earlier states "this pinball machine could have been the only thing that he has in his heart that's like, good, like 'holy cow i did this, i set the score,' so when someone comes along and messes it up for him, it takes away the only thing that he has. i think that that's when he switches to a 'now you're gonna pay for that'"
similar to what i said about fighting, the pinball machine and his high score is something he has control over and its an important part of his reputation/image like. hes literally pinball vance ! and the whole thing about that high score being the "only thing he has in his heart that's good" implies that hes. well. pretty shit at everything else, which is pretty much canon if you remember that gwen said vance was held back twice in school. makes me think that while he's not the brightest in school he's certainly street smart
moving onto ermmmmm him getting kidnapped era because im sure youre wondering "well bee if he's so street smart then why did he get kidnapped" so may i raise two theories (this is. literally all i got and its not even concrete, me and my friend gray (@staggersz) tried to figure out how this could even happen and this is the most plausible thing we've got. so shoutout to him real quick he has had to deal with me being unnormal about vance for like a year and a half thanks king couldnt have done all this without my rotting buddy)
so either he got taken by surprise (most likely option) or vance's trust was gained first via getting given quarters at the pinball machine and small talk and shit like that but this is unlikely because i feel like it'd take a loooooong time for someone like vance to trust a some random stranger adult man when he clearly has issues with trusting and respecting people older than him and people with authority (e.g. cops, his parents, or school officials) so yea being taken by surprise would probably be the most realistic option, i always see people on tiktok being like "how did the grabber kidnap vance hes so strong!!!!" dude its a 15 year old boy against like. a 45 year old man who's already claimed two lives its really not gonna be a fair fight here
before i get into the next part i wanna quickly address a theory i absolutely Hate and it is so easily disproven and that is the theory that vance is the grabber's son or is related to him in some other way and i see it Far too often on tiktok and i HATE it. from what ive seen this all stems from his dream sequence where he kicks open the fence to albert's house and, presumably, goes inside after being dropped off by the police after the grab n go fight. idk if some people just straight up didnt realise this but clearly in real life he is going to his Own House??? in the dream it's only albert's house because this is how he chooses to show gwen the house she's trying to find her brother in, the house that he himself was killed in??? i hate the theory i hate it sm
the dream sequence itself is interesting though as the ghosts seem to only be able to conjure up what theyve seen in real life (like how bruce can picture the outside of the house and show that to gwen but the house number is all flipped and not right beause he doesnt know it) so vance being able to picture the house and the number and the gate and every detail would imply that hes seen it before, but im going to explain that away as either he got out once before like with finney's failed escape attempt, or the house is most likely on the route he walks to school or the grab n go or something and he hasnt actually been there prior to being kidnapped
mini rant over now onto being kidnapped i guess, so i used the missing posters to try and estimate a timeline of how long each ghost boy would've been in the basement for (although the missing posters are notoriously unreliable for details such as looks/height/age/etc, the dates seem to all line up). so we know the order is griffin, billy, vance, bruce, robin, finney, right?? if we use the poster date then billy was taken on may 4th, 1976, a month and two days after griffin was taken (april 2nd 1976). vance was taken on september 23rd 1977, almost a full year later (stay with me im going somewhere with this), and after that bruce was taken on july 18th 1978, again almost a full year later
its established in the movie that the grabber stalks his victims before he takes them (canon because we literally see the van watching finney and gwen as they walk home from school early on in the movie) but we dont know how long he does this for since griffin/billy and robin/finney were taken such short distances apart and then the others were taken such long distances apart, also it's possible he could stalk his next victim while the previous one is still alive, etc etc lots of confusing factors, but if i've done the maths right then the absolute maximum time vance could've spent down there is 9 months and 25 days, or 298 days, so erm . let that sink in !
howeverrrr in the movie gwen states that vance went missing "last spring" and september is definitely not in spring, meaning he could've been down there for a year or even longer. an explanation or excuse i could think of for the movie and the missing poster saying different things (other than the missing posters being known for some areas being wildly inaccurate) is that maybe he was taken in spring but wasnt labelled as officially missing until september, when he was properly linked to griffin and billy's similar disappearances and the mysterious grabber? i can imagine it'd be very easy for law enforcement, especially in the 70s, to dismiss someone like vance as a runaway until they get solid evidence that he was taken. idk though thats just my personal excuse / angsty headcanon for the difference in information
not sure what exactly killed him but we do hear from vance himself that "he took his time with me" so it was probably blood loss from a variety of injuries, if we look at him in his ghost scenes we can see his hair is absolutely covered in blood which indicates head injury, he clearly has a broken nose and bruising around his eyes as a result of it, he has these deep cuts on his abdomen area (apologies for the image quality but i believe they're like. sfx pieces you would wear under clothing)
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and he also has just like. minor bruising (like the fingerprints on his arm) and other random blood splatters on his face and neck (assuming the blood down his neck comes from wherever he was bleeding on his head) so Yeah overall very unpleasant way to die obviously
okay now the part thats actually in the movie and it only took me 13 paragraphs to get here: vance as a ghost!! first thing i wanna point out is appearance wise i just want to say that when he's a ghost he's missing his choker and that fact Pains me. anyway personality-wise i feel like being violently murdered has, understandably, kicked his rage up to like. the highest level it could possibly go. he's insanely snarky and downright rude to finney on the phone, showing no empathy to the fact that finney is literally in the exact situation he was in
i feel like the whole "this is the nightmare end of your pathetic little life" and "if you knew what you had coming, you'd be fucking terrified" thing is definitely to scare finney on purpose and to get him to do something, vance might as well have just told him he's never going home cuz thats how it came across LMAOO, it is startling though because vance is clearly speaking from experience, that he was literally fucking terrified, and he is warning finney in his own weird way
the thing i think sets vance apart from the other ghosts is that while he does help finney, he does it for a different reason than they do. the other ghosts want finney to escape, to get out, to be free, to live, but personally i dont think vance cares about that. the only thing he wants is for albert shaw to be dead, for someone to seek vengeance, to do what vance couldn't. vance doesn't care if it's bruce or robin or finney or whatever boy could've come after that, he doesnt care as long as that man gets what he deserves after what he put vance through, and i see this through the scene at the end of vance's call where finney thanks him for his help and vance says, and i quote, "helping you? this isn't about you, fuck him! and apologies for being repetitive but to me it just literally proves that to vance, this isnt about finney or his escape, its just about revenge
we dont get to find out what happens to the ghosts once the credits have rolled, and i dont think we quite know enough about tbp's version of ghosts to guess what theyre up to, but i have a few theories :3 maybe theyre no longer bound to those two houses and they can now go anywhere they want in town? or maybe since their shared goal of stopping albert has been achieved, the ghosts can finally pass on to whatever is waiting for them next. i dont think vance would be content to pass on that quickly or easily as anger lingers, but i hope he'd be able to let go of it eventually, and hey we might find out in the sequel. i pray it mentions him cuz i will just die if it doesnt
sometimes, ok thats a lie, frequently i think about an au where he survived or escaped or whatever but ohhhh boy this post is already a train wreck so that au would deserve its own essay of a post :3 if u actually genuinely read this far then Wtf thanks for reading the ramblings of an absolute madman, only pure delusion could get like 20 paragraphs about a guy with 6 minutes screentime but hey thats how i roll, thanks again to my pal gray for letting me rot and thank u to my other pal ana for also enduring all this rot
hope u enjoyed my interpretation of vance hopper im going to crawl in a hole now and probably brainrot some more, thanks again for ur time :3
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quirinah · 8 months ago
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i! ro! ha! (six years edition)
#忍たま乱太郎#nintama#nintama rantarou#rkrn#quirinahdraws#digital#六い#六ろ#六は#tachibana senzou#shioe monjirou#nanamatsu koheita#nakazaike chouji#zenpouji isaku#kema tomesaburou#i am so normal about my six favorite characters in the series (liar)#the six years r like my pookies i love them...im trying to draw as much as possible for this character month (totally insane)#sorry if you follow me anywhere else and had to witness the insanity that is trying to draw daily (HELP ME)#i wanted to continue the trend with the fourth years of their illustrations all having different vibes but i feel like my vision wasnt supe#clear so theyre all a little more similar ORZ...the recurring cloud motifs r fun thou#i like circle compositions.#GUYS. BEING ON TWITTER IS SO INTIMIDATING THERES SO MUCH GOOD ART HELP ME#oomf made a whole amv for rokuha day.......my fakefan era...#are your faves even isaku and tomesaburou if you didnt make an entire ANIMATIC#i like how the room duos all have like the one guy whos sort of outwardly put together but has a short n quick fuse#and their chaotic kind of disaster counterpart whos actually pretty emotionally stable and grounded#they balance each other out nicely AND THEY HAVE A CLOSE RANGE AND FAR RANGE WEAPON GUY#i feel like their individual class duos r so nice together.....but i feel like the six years have so many fun combis too#they bounce off each other in fun ways AHEM HEM KENEN HEM HEM CHOUGOUGUMI AHEM TRAINING TRIO AHEM#TAG LIMIT ARGHRHGRGRHGHRGHRH trust me when i say i have infinite love for these idiots in my heart
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selfship-confession-box · 27 days ago
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to be quite honest. shipping with CANON (not headcanoned) exclusively gay/lesbian characters as someone of the gender they are explicitly not attracted to is a form of erasure and lowkey homophobic. 'just make them bi' is a bad take. bi people are amazing and valid but not everyone is bisexual??? 'theyre not real' is a bad take bc representation matters and i feel like that doesnt really need to be said. obviously the character isnt real and isnt offended but gay/lesbian selfshippers can see how much you dont gaf abt their identities. gay people exist in real life too!!! homophobia is still so acceptable in fandom spaces and its kinda wild.
Actually this one gets to skip the queue because we just had another anon push their luck about this. I WAS originally going to leave this in queue but now feels like a better time to nip this in the bud.
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This is the LAST thing I'm saying about this topic because frankly it's the majority of what we've been getting recently and it's exhausting. All future asks about this topic WILL be deleted. AS STATED ABOVE. DO WHAT YOU WANT FOREVER. YOUR EXPERIENCE IS YOURS AND YOURS ALONE.
TAKING POTSHOTS AT EACH OTHER IS NOT A CONFESSION.
THAT'S CALLED BEING AN ASSHOLE.
k thanks bye
#No offense to this anon or any of the prevs but I'm just so fucking tired of this topic. and so are other mods. seriously. drop it. now.#signed an agender lesbian in real life that's main f/o is just some guy. trust me when i say we don't actually care that much. not that dee#other queer selfshippers: if you're bothered by someone minding their own business. please for the love of EVERYTHING just block them.#if they're actively going out of their way to bother you or ACTIVELY SAYING SOMETHING BIGOTED THEN YES THAT'S AN ISSUE#but if they're just. sitting there. they're fine. block and move on I IMPLORE. LIKE SERIOUSLY. COME ON NOW.#For all you fucking know this could be someone's gateway into figuring out their own identity. we talk constantly about the sexuality aspec#but the amount of people I've seen figure out their GENDER because they selfshipped with someone that 'wouldn't normally be into them' is#frankly not a number you can just ignore. like are we forgetting 'fujoshi' culture that a lot of trans people found themselves from???#Seriously. I'm at a loss for words and frankly just disappointed. Considering officially blacklisting this because this is NOT worth it.#*deep. can you TELL I'm fucking tired of this?#already had one person try to start shit about 'not REALLY being gay/lesbian' because of selfshipping with an opposite gender character#I am NOT tolerating that shit on this blog. NONE of us will.#genuinely if something possess you to try and place yourself as an authority on OTHER PEOPLE'S IDENTITIES. *TOUCH. GRASS.* I AM SO SERIOUS.#LITERALLY NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. QUEER PEOPLE IRL: HEY MAN HOW'S IT GOING.#<< HEY BTW IF YOU SENT THAT AND/OR THE SECOND ASK ABOUT THAT COUNT YOUR LUCKY STARS WE'RE FAR MORE FORGIVING AND YOU'RE NOT IP BLOCKED YET.#Literally please grow up and learn from this. Talk to LITERALLY any other queer people outside of your bubble for fucks sake.#skips the queue#THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE POSTED LATER TODAY. CAN WE PLEASE GO MORE THAN 2 SECONDS?!
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ittybittybumblebee · 10 months ago
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i want to see exactly how many people actually have thought i am for research because ive gotten this quite a few times from different people i just wanna see how far it goes
#please understand while im not doubting so much now im not going to base off everything by peoples perceptions of my online behavior but#i feel like it does give good insight#i just always have a little hesitation in me because i feel like no one can get a full scope or honest picture of myself to Know me enough#to say that i can trust their opinion of me without knowing me enough in that sense#gahh. cuz i always feel like im doing Just Fine Enough i feel normal enough but im not guhh.#GUHHGGGHGH#it literally wouldnt change anything for me. like im autistic . ok! shrugs my shoulders. i cope i cant to anything more to help myself#than that#do u guys get it. do i have to go eat bricks or do u guys get it. my internal struggle. im like sisyphus#i cant trust other peoples opinions of my and i cant trust my own perceptions#while of course self diagnosis is a wonderful thing i dont want to put a name on myself that serves me no purpose#autism is awesome but do i deserve that title when dont feel like i own it wether i am autistic or not#im just so conflicted.#do you get it. do you get me. am i being reasonable . am i just fighting a truth about myself or are my doubts realistic. but the Evidence.#im so tired#i do not wanna b one of those tiktok girlies saying theyr hyperfixated on cooking pasta#Now do you get me#all my long winded rabbit trail rambles out of me before i finally get to my one point condensed conclusion#and now i just cant delete the rest of my tags because of all my time spent on them#enjoy my indentity crisis lol#i Might delete some of these tags later
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p4nishers · 2 years ago
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ok but the fact that "aziraphale is softening. they haven't spoken in a hundred years: he's realizing they're still friends" and "there's no need to thank me that's what...friends...are for" was in the same night is making me go INSANE
#we NEED to talk more abt the 1941 ep im so serious im not normal about it like i had such high expectations and it suppressed them all.#am i disappointed there wasn't a rejection scene like i predicted?? yes ofc but also aziraphale said he did the apology dance that year so#i wonder what else could've fucking happened#but anyway. let's focus on what DID happen: aziraphale literally GLOWING with love in the car. crowley telling him to shut up cause of a#compliment. aziraphale helping crowley out and crowley looking at him like 'you'd do that for me?'. crowley not only letting aziraphale#practice magic with him but ACTIVELY playing a character to help him and i mean that scene was literally just crowley flirting with him#crowley indulging aziraphale by going to the magic shop with him and agreeing to participate in his show despite the fact that he NEVER EVEN#SHOT A GUN BEFORE. him just leafing thru the guidebook till he realizes there's a miracle blocker than starting to frantically flip thru it#her hands SHAKING on the gun and them being so afraid of hurting az. 'no paperwork :))' sure my guy that's what u r so happy about ofc#'but do u really think it went well' 'absolutely' with such sincerity. the book description saying smth abt ifa demon were to happen across#aziraphale they should report it immediately to the demon crowley. 'you could've just walked away' 'well you said 'trust me'' 'and you did'#its just. its one of my favorite eps it's so nice#good omens#azicrow#good omens s2#aziracrow#go s2 spoilers#go s2#good omens script book#good omens s2 spoilers#aziraphale x crowley
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hyp3rfixation-h3ll · 1 year ago
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not to get into discourse mode on here but the recent shit w/ ao3 being once again called out for being run by racists/genocide supporters and seeing so many fucking Absolute Gormless Shitheads blindly defend OTW and going " dOn'T bRiNg FiCtIoNaL PoLiTicS iNtO tHis!!!111!1 " as if they are not immune to propaganda is wild . my siblings in sin , ao3 is literally The Racism Fetish Fanfiction site , and propaganda via fictional work is exactly how racism perpetuates. ao3 and the otw are a part of the problem whether you choose to acknowledge it or not because they contribute to the cycle of violence , fetishisation and colonisation of marginalised groups via complacency (and sometimes even blatant PASSIVE ENCOURAGEMENT) , and then they cover it up by using soft cutesy buzzwords like " anti-censorship " and " free speech " and their dumb ass complex tagging system to appeal to white people , so when Actual Minorities and people affected by the shit they put on there speak up about it they're met with all kinds of bullcrap about "jUsT bLoCk ThE tAg If It'S a PrObLem1111!111" or "YoU'rE jUsT bEiNg a fAnDoM cOp!11!!"
You're a part of the problem if you support ao3 and actively continue to use it & donate to them , especially in the wake of the OTW being actively chockful of zionists who will , ironically , silence those who speak up and rally with Palestine for liberation . And If you decide to take this as me being hostile towards you or trying to " bring fiction into real world issues " , remember that at Any point in time you can go on ao3 for yourself and find thousands and thousands of raceplay fics and other various works that glorify and condone racism , and that the otw and their large userbase (primarily composed of white people!) has a track record of trying to shut up POC when this issue is brought to light .
Idgaf if ao3 is for " anti-censorship " , because there's a difference between anti-censorship and HIDING BEHIND the concept of free speech and the 1st amendment to do and say awful , horrendous things and believe you're above critique , punishment or consequences for it .
tl;dr: fuck ao3, fuck the otw, free palestine, and most importantly: you are NOT and will NEVER be immune to propaganda if you choose to ignore it because it benefits you.
#the captain's rambles#ao3#archive of our own#racism cw#free palestine#🍉#otw#ask to tag#also its dumb to request not bringing politics into the topic of ao3#the concept of anti / pro-censorship Is a political statement#anyways. this isnt even touching on the nasty shit ao3 will let you put on their site about Real People (INCLUDING REAL CHILDREN)#mfs be like “you guys are so worried about fictional kids!11!!” yeah cuz if thats what youre willing to write about fictional kids#then how the Fuck am i supposed to trust Your bitch ass with writing about Real Children in a Normal manner#btw ao3 / otw bootlickers who try n come in here and go ERM ACKSHUALLY will be shot at on sight by my rocket launcher#fiction bleeds into reality and can and DOES influence it you dickless jabronies . that's Literally why The Jaws Effect is a phenomenon#and why racist propaganda (like what the IOF spreads) is so effective#you cannot rally against the oppressor and side with them at the same time because “muh fanfic site”#pick a side or get out you spineless fucks#oh and btw. if you try to equate this with just mindless discourse you're incorrect and undermining the larger issue here#which is Literally#otw and ao3 are built off of racist and arguably white supremacist values and THAT is why they fire people --#-- for having the oh so heinous opinion of “hey. racism is Bad.” and allow fics that condone racism and fetishise it on their site.#and post. this has been your once in a lifetime tumblr rant from sonic t hedgehog about why white people in fandom more often than not#fucking suck Butt Ass & absolute Balls#im gonna go shower and get some tuna now
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kanyniablue · 6 months ago
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i just fundamentally had a different experience with kim kitsuragi & i think it boils down to the fact that my daddy issues don't manifest as a need for praise and encouragement from an emotionally distant man
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harmoniouseclipse · 9 months ago
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For those wondering what happened after my Arlejean rant from like last year. Mental illness took over. I am cooking.
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quietwingsinthesky · 1 year ago
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there’s a progression in there, somewhere, of even going from ‘the master might kill me any day now :(‘ to ‘the master is going to kill me :) she’s not going to let someone else do it after all this time’
#i wouldn’t call it hubris exactly. more like this pretty secure surity that that’s how they’re going to die.#and to them that makes sense. they chose this. they keep choosing it after the doctor offers them a way out.#because this is. they understand this. and they feel safe in the reprieve before their death.#how do you control death? choose who kills you. the last defense of a prey animal.#something something dark mirror to clara’s ‘i am owed’ speech for even is if this ever. doesn’t work out the way they thought it would.#clara tried to threaten the doctor so that he’d reverse death for her. even would turn on the master if she tried to spare them.#i am owed better. i am owed the death you promised… i am owed the knowledge that you don’t care enough to save me… you know. something like#that.#even is. kind of. meant to mirror the doctor’s companions at the time. they are a martha who can’t leave him. they are a donna who has to#remember and never speak about everything they know. they are clara if during deep breath clara reached back and truly didn’t expect. truly#hoped. that no one would take her hand. because if they can be certain it will happen they can know never to reach again.#jesus christ. go to therapy boy. you have so many trust issues.#but that’s why they’re Like That with the master because at the end of the day. who is easier to rely on? the guy who comes in to put out#fires but only sometimes. or the guy who. really really fucking likes starting fires.#better to get burned hoping someone is coming or get burned knowing that’s what would happen. and even. chooses the latter.#AND ALL OF THIS. for me to say thats why i cant actually let the master ever kill them.#i think she needs to do something worse to even. i think she needs to abandon them.#and that will either set them free to go have healthy normal relationships or. lets be honest much more likely. completely fucking break#them. which would be fun :) for me.#dw oc
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dactyli0nn · 2 years ago
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Hange carrying Levi bridal style over puddles/mud 🤝 Levi carrying Hange bridal style to the showers/eating hall
The possibilities with two dummies who are ridiculously strong… who can carry eachother ………. Who can play wrestle … so many possibilities so much oh man
Hange swooping in and picking up Levi as a joke
Levi carrying Hange to bed after they fell asleep in their office
Hange and Levi finding increasingly ridiculous ways to carry eachother (bonus if they do it around the training grounds and act completely normal about it)
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a-commas-a-pause · 4 months ago
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Was doing some cursory research about low concentration salicylic as an over-the-counter acne treatment (been having a flare-up, likely due to a combo of stress and shifting environmental factors, and since I'm a terrible skin picker I'm trying to find ways to avoid giving myself scarring without needing to visit a doctor) and as I was scrolling through the Wikipedia page I learned from the epidemiology section that acne apparently affects women slightly more than men:
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...and I don't know why, but this really struck me.
I guess I grew up with the belief, picked up from the culture and media around me, that acne was this "greasy teenage boy" problem, in some way inherently unfeminine. I didn't really think boys got it more than girls, I figured that was a stereotype, but I kind of assumed the stats were pretty much equal. And back when I still thought I was a girl, I felt worse about my own acne, since it felt like yet another way I was performing girl/womanhood incorrectly.
Finding out it's actually slightly more common in (cis) women is throwing me for a loop, even though it rightly shouldn't be - that's a very neutral and harmless fact! But you never see acne treated as just a feature of a teenage girl's face, it's always something awful that needs to be fixed (never mind that in real life, you often can't "fix" acne completely, can only manage it). That's not to say it's treated as something positive in boys either - usually boys with acne are also treated as undesirable, be that a loveable nerd or just a creepy loser - but I'm not sure I've ever even seen a girl character with even moderate acne (like I had at that age, though it certainly felt severe at the time) on screen.
I took isotretinoin for my acne in school, which is a pretty powerful medication that is highly effective at stopping acne but also comes with some serious risks - I had to take regular blood tests when I was on it to make sure it wasn't killing my liver. Due to my (mentioned before on this blog, lol) massive phobia of all things medical and spiky, I fainted for every single one of these. On top of that, it increased my already very high (I'm about as white as you can get) sensitivity to sun, so I couldn't go out even on cloudy days without suncream. And it causes birth defects, so they kept making me take supervised pregnancy tests "just in case" for months, until I changed dermatologists and the new one was like "what? why? no, you don't have to do those, just sign a thing saying you're not sexually active and it's not our fault if you're lying about that and you're chill".
It was a Lot, is what I'm saying.
Isotretinoin isn't the first port of call for treating acne - my GP tried several topical solutions and two different kinds of antibiotics (one of which I was allergic to, which naturally, me being me, I discovered by fainting about it. Again. in music class, this time) before finally referring me to the dermatologist who was allowed to prescribe me The Serious Drugs. Moreover, I stand by my decision! I wasn't pressured into taking it by family or friends, I was allowed to make my own choices, and going through all that rigmarole was absolutely my choice.
...I might even have taken the same choice if I'd lived in a society without all this weird stuff around acne, to be honest. As mentioned at the top of the post, I have a skin picking problem and acne not only doesn't help with that, it was causing me actual pain.
But also. I don't know. The societal stuff didn't help at all. My dermatologist suggested at the time that insecurity about my acne might be contributing to my chronic neck and upper back pain, of all things (much like the acne, something that started in my teens but hasn't stopped since I left them), since it might be making it harder for me to stand up straight with confidence. I laughed the idea off at the time, but now... I don't know. It could certainly have been a contributing factor.
I wish I had a call to action here, but I don't really know what can be done about this, especially not at the individual level. This is a societal gender discrimination issue, and I guess an ableism issue as well? I wouldn't normally call my acne a disability, but it is certainly a medical condition, and it does affect my life (and acne can certainly be the basis of unconscious discrimination, though I'm very grateful that that hasn't been something I've faced personally). If anyone has any more productive suggestions, feel free to add them onto this post. And I guess, put characters with acne in your stories? Including women, and including adults! 5% is one in twenty. One in every twenty 40+ year old women (according to that cited study, anyway, which I can't currently verify because my institutional access is fucking broken again) still "have problems" with acne. That might be worth representing.
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uniquezombiedestiny · 6 months ago
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rrrrrrrrrr. rrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh. just. rolls around. full of thoughts...
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thebitchkingofangmar · 2 years ago
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right at the beginning of the Silmarillion (literally on chapter one) at some point it says that on everything that was made on Eä over the first days, Aulë had a part, and what makes me deeply insane about that is the same fucking wording used to talk about Mairon’s involvement in Melkor’s work. I am once again unwell about Mairon being unable to escape being a Maia of Aulë, because what if the true thing that you cannot escape is you.
#mairon#sauron#tolkien#lotr#the silmarillion#originals.txt#maia of aulë commentary series#this has so many ramifications and roads it diverges into and i am unwell about all of them#1. what if what truly tipped Mairon against the Valar was this exactly. not just the lack of recognition and disagreement over how things#are done. but Aulë - MANWË'S EXECUTING ARM. THE GUY WHO HE HIMSELF AND HIS GUYS ARE DOING THE HEAVY LIFTING - brought an idea to Manwë#he said No and Aulë came back#defeated about it and told his closest Maia's that it was a no go but they should be happy they still did it and goes into his archive of#secret things. and Mairon instead of accepting how it Should Be What Was Supposed To Be *pushed* him or tried to get him to try again#because HE thought he was right about this one thing#Insane. once again i can be trusted with adapting the silmarillion into the screen because i am sooooo normal about it#2. what if being you is as much of a blessing as it is a curse. a weight. a liability. something staring back at you with too many eyes and#claws and teeth until whatever that is twists over itself causing you to twist over yourself all cracked bones in wrong positions#2.A. do you think this was what terrified him when Luthien said Melkor would hate him? that he would be reminded he was *continues to be#against his will because no matter how much he tries to grab the reigns he is back at this same spot. a room with a bright sign he cannot#break that says WELCOME. MAIA OF AULE!* a maia of aulë? whom he hated?#that he would stop being His Mairon and would become once again Mairon the Maia of Aule because if he is a great deceiver he is too his 1st#victim of his own deceive?#insane if you ask me#3. first time i read the silm i was 15 second time i was 17 so there was a lot of things i did not catch or did not interpret as i do now#and the blatant Aulë - Mairon parallels escaped me completely#at least in this way
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malikselfindulgence · 1 year ago
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Morshid and Marek have a symbiotic relationship except instead of either of them gaining anything useful they r actively pouring toxic chemicals through the other's bloodstream
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juspeczyk · 1 year ago
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i can NOT make a rat bastard vampire playlist do you know why? it will be NOTHING BUT MCR
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