#I am so normal about my fave guy /lying

[characteroulette]

Since I finally got an answer to the Apollo character question, let's look into it!

Apollo is the player character. The player surrogate. Like Phoenix in his debut game, he doesn't reveal much more about himself besides his personality. He's less obviously unhinged as Phoenix, begrudgingly resigning himself to the whims of his new assistant and his new deadbeat boss, making him the perfect pawn in Phoenix's game. Even when Apollo asks questions, wanting to know why he's doing any of this, the answers he gets are either cryptic or nonexistent. So he sighs and complains to himself, but continues trudging along anyway.

He appears, to those not looking for it, complacent. He appears then, to those same people, as if he has no wants or desires for himself. Nothing to motivate him besides the need for the plot to continue.

But that just isn't true.

Apollo may not have the deeply personal motivation of Phoenix in the first game (to save Edgeworth), at least not yet, but he is still motivated by something intrinsically personal to him: to be a defence attorney. It's smaller, less in your face, but the thing Apollo wants most is to do his job as a lawyer. We spend the entirety of the first part of 4-2 with him bemoaning that this isn't in his job description, he's a lawyer, not a detective. But that brings about his second driving force in his life: he wants to find the truth.

This might seem counter to how he's presented at first glance. After all, if he wants to find the truth, then why did he never look into the case that disbarred Phoenix? How did he not even know his previous boss had such a famous brother?

Well, it's because of that first character trait we rub up against: Apollo takes the path of least resistance. A learned behaviour no doubt from his experiences in his life (being an orphan, being abandoned, having to fight and care for himself at every step of the way to his goal of becoming a defence attorney).

Yes, we don't really learn /why/ he wants to be a defence attorney. Not yet, at least. But what deeper reasoning does he need? It's a job he feels calling to him, to dig into the truth and defend those who may need it. He says to Trucy that his talent is defending; he considers it his best asset, even over his Chords of Steel. It's very notable that, upon learning his clients are all not as innocent as they first appear, he doesn't immediately turn on them. He continues to defend Wocky despite his intent to kill a man, he stays with Machi despite his part in the smuggling, he doesn't abandon Vera despite her being the true forger. It's also notable that when Phoenix reveals his trick in painting over the truth, of the trap used to snare Kristoph, Apollo is upset enough to punch him. Right there in the courtroom. And while it breaks Apollo's trust in Phoenix's word, he still never once considers leaving the man. He still searches for a crumb of belief, of praise, which Phoenix is rather cruel about yanking away from him at every chance he gets.

Apollo's motivations run deep, colour how he interacts with everyone around him, even if it's easy to misread them due to his complacency. The way that 4-4 ends, with Phoenix having to finally come clean and include Apollo in on the whole trap, I think is the reason why Apollo doesn't continue begrudging Phoenix after that point. Phoenix literally finally gives Apollo all he's been asking for from the man: the full truth and acceptance. Phoenix trusting Apollo with this torch is an acknowledgement of Apollo's skills, of his place as an attorney, so of course Apollo doesn't think twice about presenting a second piece of fabricated evidence. (In my heart, he will always be mad about it, but Apollo very clearly does not hold grudges. Apollo embodies Nahyuta's catchphrase better than he ever could; simply let it go, and move on.)

And it makes sense. He's had no space to really hold onto grudges if he wants to survive. If he truly wishes to be a defender, to dig until the truth is laid bare in court, then he has to let things go and keep moving forward. He has to continue walking towards the future, not dwelling on his past, because that's how he's kept his head above water and kept faith in his profession for so long.

(This can connect to Dual Destinies as well. His wavering faith in Athena makes sense with this mindset; the truth is important to Apollo, so of course he recoils and retreats when he feels he's being lied to. Of course he defaults back on taking care of things on his own, it's all he's ever known. But that's not the focus here so I won't dig more into it.)

It also helps make sense as to why he doesn't regard Kristoph as a complete monster after everything. He clearly worshipped Kristoph, to the point of being willfully ignorant to all of Kristoph's jabs and passive aggressive comments about his ability. That love doesn't just go away because Kristoph turned out to be the worst. That Kristoph was a murderer doesn't just erase the fact that he wasn't lying to Apollo in his tutelage. (Kristoph may not have taught him much, but he does explain the game mechanics and that is something at least!) Up until the end, Apollo doesn't see Kristoph as the devil he truly is because why would he? The man gave him a job. Kristoph and Phoenix both similarly use Apollo as their pawn, but at least Kristoph wasn't bold facedly a jerk about it. It's only after Kristoph's darkness is revealed by the mountain of investigations Phoenix has performed does Apollo finally see Kristoph for the liar he is.

But he doesn't begrudge the guy. Kristoph is evil, but he's also not worth ruminating on. It's better to keep moving forward and continuing to forge his own path.

I do get it. It's easy to miss Apollo's deeply rooted motivations when Phoenix's whole deal is front and centre. It's easy to think of Apollo as a simple player surrogate when he's being dragged along by the plot. But it doesn't change the fact that all of his character is right there for you to see. All his personality, his motivations, and the explanations for both are within the text! But then again, that didn't stop them from dialing back Phoenix's character as it was laid bare here, so I suppose I'll have to agree to disagree on this point.

[skullsandcorals]

How I've Been Feeling About Aryan's Grover:

[endwithajadestrick]

Who Is Fucking In Star Wars? A Non-Comprehensive List

So in honor(?) of the DDoS attack on Ao3 preventing us all from mainlining slash fic, I've decided to go horny on main and list off my opinion about 3 traits of all Star Wars characters. Our beloved Galaxy Far Far Away is a usually (tragically) chaste place, which may lead us to ponder about our faves:

Do they even know what sex is?

Have they ever actually HAD sex?

Are they any good at it?

We will not be including characters who are minors in this list. Obviously. Judgements are based somewhat on the lore, but really more on vibes. Perhaps it goes without saying, this will be lightly NSFW.

This is probably gonna take a while and stop feeling like a good idea halfway through. Which of your exes does that describe? Let's Go!!!

Starting with the big three:

Han Solo

Always begin with an easy one.

Does he even know what sex is? Yes, unlike a surprising number of people in this galaxy, Han knows how to do the do.

Has he ever had sex before? Sure (but not as often as he wants you to think). Do you, uh . . . maybe wanna get out of here and come back to his ship? She's called the Millenium Falcon.

Is he good at sex? Look. It's not going to be good the first time. He's gonna keep insisting that he "knows what he's doing," but you wish he would just let you explain what you like. He needs to be girlbossed around a little bit. And it is mostly girls for him, though the occasional guy and non-binary being has mounted that loading ramp too. His bedroom does smell kind of funny.

Luke Skywalker

This one may be controversial for some people.

Does he know what sex is? Nope. Farm boy didn't go to schmool. Skool? Am I saying that right? There were no copies of Our Bodies, Our Selves lying around the rebellion base, and you better believe the Sacred Jedi Texts did not include some kind of version of the Space Kama Sutra. Han wasn't gonna draw him a diagram either; that would be too embarrassing. This man is not learned in the pleasures of the flesh.

Has he ever had sex? Also no. He got into some light over-the-clothes action with Biggs Darklighter when they were teens, but nothing ever went any farther than that.

Is he good at sex? I'm sure a real earnest effort would be made, but we'll never know, will we. Because he DOES NOT KNOW what sex is.

Princess/General Leia Organa

Does she even know what sex is? Oh, absolutely. This woman was treated to an actual formal education. She probably even got a nice, progressive version of SexEd that talked about pleasure and consent and not just all the weird diseases you could get--assuming the Empire didn't nix that sort of thing on Alderaan, which, honestly, they might have.

Has she ever had sex? Of course. And despite being a princess, she's not that precious about courtship either. Casual flings are totally fine and normal.

Is she good at sex? Leia is mature but, like her hairstyles, can be a little tightly wound. Once you get over any initial awkwardness, though, it's sure to be a fun flirty time.

And this is Star Wars, so sooner or later we have to address--

Chewbacca

--the aliens of it all. Welcome, monster fuckers! It's not even weird in this universe!

Does he know what sex is? Chewy is canonically 234 years old as of TLJ, so I'm going to give this a definite yes. Also, he hangs out with Han Solo and all the doors in this universe appear to be panel-controlled. There are no door knobs to stick a sock on; he's SEEN some things.

Has he ever had sex? Again, 234 years old, and Chewy has never seemed like a wallflower. This is also a yes.

Is he good at it? Maz Kanata seems to think so? I don't pretend I have the predilections/imagination to get the appeal (though I honor those that do), but I'm gonna take a swing and say, yes, Chewbacca is a good lover. Solid stamina, surprisingly tender after-care.

Lando Calrissian

Does he know what sex is? Yes, and not just on a mechanical level. If anyone in this universe HAS read the Space Kama Sutra, it's Lando.

Has he ever had sex? He has. And he doesn't keep a list of all his past sexual partners because that would be crass. But he COULD tell you about each of them, names, dates, locations. But he won't. But he could.

Is he good at it? Surprisingly, yes! He may come across as a guy who is all talk, but Lando is an artist at heart and the democratically elected President of Consent. He has mood lighting set up and a tastefully curated playlist. The atmosphere is fun, the oral is enthusiastic. When you're done--wow!--there's a mini bar right near the bed. And would you like to borrow a silk robe?

Your magical evening will not prevent him from cheating you at cards later, though.

Obi-Wan Kenobi

Does he know what sex is? No. He learned once, but has since memory-holed the information. Otherwise he might accidentally experience some pleasure from the stick up his bum.

Has he ever had sex? Many beings have made valiant efforts to claim this beautiful man as a conquest. All have failed, but there was much exquisite yearning along the way.

Is he good at it? Hypothetically? Alas, my heart wants to say yes, but my head says no.

Padmé Amidala

Does she know what sex is? Look at this dress. This dress is a CHOICE, a ruthless tactical decision made by someone who definitely knows what sex is.

Has she ever had sex? Yes, but her taste in men--oh, honey.

Is she good at it? A pillow princess if there ever was one. You will be doing all the work.

Anakin Skywalker

Does he know what sex is? No.

Has he ever had sex? Yes.

Is he good at it? . . . and I know those answers seem contradictory, but it's true. This is a man who has had normal, consensual adult sex. However, baby boy's brain is full of more holes than a colander. He is dummy thick actually in the head region. He is incapable of retaining complex thoughts such as the nuances of sexuality.

That said, he is a creature of pure instinct and, like, yeah, the lovemaking is pretty hot.

Mace Windu

Does he know what sex is? Yes.

Has he ever had sex? No.

Is he good at it? If it ever happened, which it won't? No, and Mace is possibly the only Sammy J character for whom this holds true. It would be strictly procreative missionary. No fun allowed.

Yoda

Does he know what sex is? Yes, he is aware. Knowledge is this little frog man's burden; Yoda is too in touch with the Force, the life energy of the universe, not to know. He WOULD not know if he could, but he has had to settle for just ignoring the information.

Has he ever had sex? You know I am genuinely stumped on this one. On one hand, he is the perfect ascetic Jedi sage. On the other hand, a nine hundred year lifespan is a long time . . . anything could have happened to this lilliputian enigma.

Is he good at it? Size matters not.

The Mandalorian

Yeah I know his name is "Din Djarin." Shush.

Does he know what sex is? I'm pretty sure this guy thinks that babies are found, not made. He does not know what sex is.

Has he ever had sex? I don't care what season one implied about Mando and that toothsome twi'lek, it's never happened. The helmet doesn't come off and the trousers don't drop.

Is he good at it? And here's the tragedy of it all, right? Because we know that underneath that impenetrable layer of beskar lies such a man. I don't even care if he's an ace, as seems plausible. Just the chance to look him in the eye would mean worlds.

Finn

Does he know what sex is? Negative, Ghost Rider. It's not something the First Order teaches their child soldiers, and the Resistance, like the rebellion of old, has bigger fish to fry. Poe wants to explain it to him, but feels like he has a dog in that race and it wouldn't be right.

Has he ever had sex? Men, women, and other beings are lining up around the corner for a shot at this man, but he only has eyes for one woman, and she in turn may be legitimately the only person in the galaxy who does not pine for him. Hang in there, Finn! Maybe one day she'll become emotionally available.

Is he good at it? While we have seen Finn makes some selfish moves along his journey--mainly because of, y'know, all the trauma--he has done a lot of growing and is an essentially generous spirit. This gets a yes.

Rey Skywalker

Does she know what sex is? Not in either The Force Awakens or The Last Jedi, but before Rise of Skywalker Leia explained it to her. She's the future of the Jedi after all, and this is basic stuff, goddammit Luke!

Has she ever had sex? Hmm, what's that? Sorry, she's super busy right now with, like, destiny and stuff.

Is she good at it? Rey seems to pick most things up fairly quickly, so you have to imagine that would hold true for l'amour as well, except that she'll also be a bit of a try-hard. Do less, sweety. Really, it's fine.

Lightning Round

Asajj Ventress

Yes, yes, and it depends on the answer to one question: do you enjoy pain?

L3-37

It Works.

Cinta Kaz

Yes, yes, and not just good but so good it will politically radicalize you.

Karis Nemik

No, which is a shame because you know that he would have made sex-positive feminism and queer theory a huge part of his manifesto.

Count Dooku

Gay, and pulled legendary numbers of exquisite vintage ass across the galaxy. It's the real reason Sidious traded him in for simple, pussy-whipped Anakin. He just couldn't take it anymore.

Luthen Rael

Hope you like role-play.

Armitage Hux

Yes, it's true; this man has no dick.

Qi'ra

Yes, yes, and good but maybe in a dangerous way? Like drugs, it's possible that you--maybe even most people--could have a healthy, well-adjusted relationship to it. But there's a chance also that it will alter your brain chemistry, fundamentally shift your priorities, and ruin your life. The only way for sure to be safe is not to try it, not even once!

The Bendu

The One in the Middle. So in this case, would that be, like, the taint?

Reva Sevander

I mean, do you like it freaky? How freaky do you like it? There are levels to this sort of thing, and you, through no fault of your own, may not be ready for this ride.

Cassian Andor

Cassian Andor fucks.

The Armorer

I tried to get a read on this one, and all I picked up was radio static. We'll never know. We'll just never know.

Rose Tico

Rose appears naive at first, but she's actually quite worldly and will rock yours.

Bo-Katan Kryze

I daresay more than 2% of us want her to sit on our face. Ms. Sackoff was really lowballing it. Bo does not know what sex is, however, and is rarely in listening-mode, so that's a hurdle we'll have to overcome.

But it's more than 2%.

Poe Dameron

Yes, yes, and does it even matter? It would be an honor just to be considered, sir.

Hera Syndulla

Whatever Lola wants, Lola gets. Apparently what Lola wants is an inexperienced, sexually repressed Jedi hotty. In this way, she is the true queen of Star Wars fandom. Captain our ship, Hera!

And Finally:

Kylo Ren

I do not understand the hold this man has on some of you--which is fine; you don't need me to understand it. He does not know what sex is, he is so horny and angry all the time. And sure, maybe you CAN fix him by completing his education. Blessings, angels. Live your fantasy.

Just promise me you'll use protection? And I don't mean a condom, I mean body armor.

[most-canon-non-canon-ship-poll]

literally hoping they break up in the last season

Why Mileven is shit - a submission-based essay, part 2/3

Mileven - a currently canon het ship from the Stranger Things fandom between Michael (Mike) Wheeler and Jane (Eleven) Ives/Hopper/Byers/IDK

they NEED to breakup (AGAIN) in the final season let's start w their character arcs rn. el was born in a lab and was raised VERY strict to be a weapon and shit. she escapes and now her whole arc is finding herself and being who she is separate to what people tell her she is. mike comes from a lowkey conservative family with parents who are married only to fit into the normal, not because they love each other. his arc, similar to his sisters' struggle in earlier seasons, is to not fall into conformity just because you feel like you should. both of these stories line up with the main moral of the show: be who you are even if it isn't "normal" ot whatever now how does mileven go against this? mike, and a bunch of ppl around el, in the earlier seasons keeps telling el what she should do/be. even in the later seasons we see mike refering to el as a "superhero" (which she doesn't like). neither of them feel free to be themselves around the other (shown by el lying to mike and mike being WAY out of character around el, etc). mike literally can't tell el he loves her while not under pressure. mileven sometimes parallels mike's parents' and sta.cy (a failed conformity relationship) and other bad relationships ANYWAYS it also reallyyyy pains will byers (who's been canonically in love with mike for like years, and mike's best friend) to see this. also, milevens keep harassing will/mike shippers on anon even months after the last season. like they have a hate discord server just for it. anyways i love mike and el but ohhh my god there is still SO much i haven't mentioned about how bad they are together (and how bad shippers often are, sometimes being violently homophobic and calling bylers delusional and shit)

OOOH IT FUCKING SUCKS THEY ARE SOOOOOO BAD FOR EACH OTHER JESUS THEY DON'T COMMUNICATE LIKE EVER THEY ARE BOTH CLEARLY IN IT BECAUSE OF THE EXPECTATION OF A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE THEY CAN'T CONFIDE IN EACH OTHER THEY DON'T SHARE ANY INTERESTS THEY'RE HAVING CONFLICT MORE OFTEN THAN NOT THANK *GOD* I AM UTTERLY CONVINCED THEY ARE HEADING FOR A CANONICAL PERMANENT BREAKUP. NOT TO MENTION THEY ARE BOTH GAY AS HELL TO ME. YOU SEEN THAT "THIS SHIP IS SO CANON AND IT'S A LESBIAN AND A GAY MAN" TWEET? YEAH. FUCK THIS STUPID FUCKING SHIP NOT TO MENTION THE SHIPPERS ARE FREQUENTLY OPENLY HOMOPHOBIC. UGHHHHHHH KILLING BITING (this is my fave btw)

they have no chemistry or buildup unlike the other st couples. they kissed season 1 right after she asked if he would be her brother. hes very obviously compensating for something. i think i gagged when they made out in season 3. speaking of. thats all they do. make out. they dont really have meaningful conversations. this also comes from the fact that when mike met her she was fresh out the lab that abused her for like 11 years. she was not socially ready to understand the bounds of a platonic relationship let alone a romantic one. anyway mileven break up s5 will happen i believe it. if nothing else. cross ur fingers gamers

the sheer homophobia and general toxicity that the fans of this ship create is absolutely insane when their perfect (read: mischaracterized) straight (read: homosexually-coded) couple is judged for having toxic or incompatible elements is insane. the only good romantic aspect between these two characters is in a cringefail "wow this really doesn't work at all" i-want-to-put-this-dynamic-under-a-microscope-and-study-it-because-it's-an-absolute-trainwreck" kind of way. el has been abused and cut off from society her whole life and at 12 years old she immediately gets together with this guy at whose earth shattered after his best friend went missing who then has surviors guilt after she almost does which is misconstrued as romantic rather than unhealthy obsession and trauma. and so on and so forth.. there's just so much wrong they lie to each other So Fucking Much despite truthfulness being very important to them and they ignore their friends to make out (which is filmed in a way that is meant to feel uncomfortable btw lmao) and el doesn't understand mike's trauma from bullying and he doesn't understand how she doesn't want to be built up into being a superhero etc etc. and it's just so increasingly bad I want to rub my temples just thinking about them. they're just so bad for each other and their relationship has done nothing but make them worse in general but for some reason their ship is viewed as fluffy or cute or whatever the hell. anyway mike is so heavily coded to be fucking gay and in love with his best friend (and el can be interpreted to be lesbian coded) and I just need to get them out of there amen

I'm gonna make a list bc the reasons are many: 1) their first casual interaction they get together but in the same conversation she asks him if she can be like a sister to him 2) all their "cute moments" are them making out in the 3rd season with still absolutely no chemistry 3) their only actual cute scene is them dancing at the snowball yet in the same scene they portray the same way two couples that are not romantic 4) mike becomes a terrible person when he's with eleven 5) eleven literally GOT OUT OF A LAB SHE WAS RAISED IN and this is the first guy she dated 6) she can't even say he's a good kisser 7) mike can't tell her that he loves her (bc he doesn't) and the only time he does he makes this whole ugly ass speech up about how she's his "superhero" even though she doesn't want to be seen only for her superpowers 8) in said speech, while listing the things that he loves about her, he only names her superpowers + he lies multiple times 9) EVEN AFTER SAID SPEECH she is still mad at him and won't talk to him (probably bc she saw right through his bs) 10) she spent a whole 6 months lying to him about all of her life 11) mike is clearly gay and is meant to be with his childhood best friend will 12) mike idolizes her and doesn't see her as an actual person 13) eleven needs to be her own person (ffs she just got out of a lab) 14) the ship sucks and even the authors and actors say so

they have NO chemistry. they kissed after one week of knowing each other when they were 12 and eleven didn't even know what a romantic relationship was at the time, given the fact that right before mike kisses her she says "will you be like my brother?". they spent the entirety of season 2 apart with mike calling el on his walkie and el watching romantic movies on the tv for a year (then will is in trouble and mike says 'fuck it' and goes full protective boyfriend mode but this isn't about byler so i digress) and start dating soon after they meet again even though they haven't had a SINGLE conversation and are barely friends. season 3 comes along and the writers do their utmost best to show us how incompatible they are. their makeout scenes are uncomfortable, they break up at the beginning of the season and neither one of them seems particularly bothered that their first relationship is over. in fact, the happiest we see el in the entire series is during the time they're broken up, when she gets close to max (who she actually has chemistry with, by the way) and finally experiences freedom, being a teenage girl and etc since mike had been "keeping her all to himself" for like, a year. aside from that, he doesn't go after her at all after she dumps his ass (literally) but when he and will have a fight, he bikes across town in the rain just to apologize, that boy is GAY. finally, the theme of season 4 is lies and once again, mike and el spend the season apart (once again, mike spends the season with WILL) and right before they part ways, they have a big fight about mike being unable to so much as WRITE "love, mike" on his letters to el, let alone say it, and he bullshits his way through it and refuses to say the actual reason until vol. 2, when he apparently "confesses" that he's afraid he'll lose her if he says it (okay, amigo, you're gonna lose your girlfriend who was literally begging you to say 'i love you' not even a week ago, aham, totally valid excuse). conclusion: they don't know each other and they don't act like themselves when they're together. mike hides his nerdy nature, el feels like she has to be the amazing superhero he's always viewed her as or else he'll lose interest and it just feels like they're both grasping at straws because this relationship has been dragged on for too long that they don't know how to break up permanently. they are afraid of losing each other, but not romantically, as mike was el's first semblance of family after escaping the lab and mike feels like it's his duty to protect and care for el. also, mike is gay. in other words, FREE THEM.

[lloydfrontera]

i really feel like he called lloyd just to flirt. the paperwork of getting the hell gate set up was just an excuse <3 AND LLOYD STILL SINGS JAVIER LULLABIES!! i couldn't hope for anything more for my faves ❤

RIGHT? RIGHT?!??!?!?

gay as fuck!!! they were absolutely flirting like oh my god you guys even rakiel got a bit weirded out aklshdkja

likeeeeee helppppp

the mere fact that javier still calls him lloyd-nim is still enough to make me go fucking insane

but their actual banter oh my god get a fucking room you weirdos!!

the whole "you woke me up you fucker" "ah yes the time difference. i forgot. sorry" "after waking me up, yeah okay whatever, what do you want". like. the fucking familiarity of it all. the unfazed manner of it all. javier just woke up lloyd at dawn and they're both. so unbothered about it. they're best friends your honor.

rakiel hearing them banter and going "oh there's only one guy who would talk to javier with so much familiarity" and immediately knowing it was lloyd. i am. gonna throw up.

AND THEN THEN THEN

"imagine yourself lying peacefully in a green forest with a clear pond" "nope, still feel bad" "imagine you've paid off all your installments and credits" "ah yes much better" "i'm glad"

LIKE???? HELLO?????? THEY'RE?? SO FUCKING MARRIED??? i adore them so much oh my goddd

plus them negotiating over the collaboration between realms,,,, you can just feel how many times they've done this, how familiar they are with each other, how natural it comes to them to banter and tease and argue with each other,,,

AND THEN LLOYD TELLING JAVIER HE WOULD BE THE ONE TO CALL BACK SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE HE WANTED TO TAKE REVENGE AND WAKE HIM UP LIKE JAVIER DID TO HIM. PLEASE.

JAVIER ASKING IF LLOYD WOULD SING HIM A LULLABY.

LLOYD JUST GOING "you're blocked" WHEN JAVIER TELLS HIM HE'S CALLING HIM BACK FIRST.

I AM. NOT OKAY. ABOUT ANY OF THIS.

they're just. they're so. they're best friends.

they're best friends.

i am very normal about them :)

[sunfoxfic]

Okay. I don't think I'm going to reach the wider ML fandom and get them into MHA. That is fine. Today I'm going to call out for a community I might actually be able to move: we are small, but we are mighty. We are passionate. I know us well.

Alya Cesaire stans.

I promise. I promise. The main character of My Hero Academia is like a male, Japanese version of Alya Cesaire. They're both normal (lying) about superheroes. They both know everything about their faves, and they're both they're favorite superhero's special little guy. They're both passionate and cute and smart. They're so good. They're so similar.

I am begging Alya Cesaire fans to come to the Midoriya Izuku side.

[deluluwonderland]

Peeks...hi hello, so we can ramble about our crossfandom agendas here? 👁️

If you don't mind me— i have MULTIPLE of them, and would love to share about the multiple brainrots i have about them. heck i even made a whole very self-indulgent casual modern college au for them because i terribly need to shove all these characters in a single room and see what happens

I'll try to keep my first ask short tho, so I'll just drop my agendas and then maybe elaborate on them more in future asks? if that doesn't bother any of you-

(just a heads up, I'll be talking about characters from enstars, genshin and danganronpa!)

So first of all, my main and favorite duo (the one which started the whole college au mess)— my two favorite characters from two games i like, leo tsukinaga and lyney! :]

I have TOO MANY thoughts about them for it to fit here...so i might ramble about them another time. But please think about them for me 👉👈

Next one i am very insane about is the fontaine twins and 2wink because??? I am not the only one to see the multiple parallels between them right??? Especially lyney and hinata??? Both pairs of twins have such a similar past too— grew up on the streets by themselves (fontaine twins because parents died, 2wink because they ran away) and had to perform to earn money to survive

Then there's once again lyney, but with kokichi (danganronpa) this time— it's less i want them to interact, and more like holy fuck why the fuck are they WAY TOO SIMILAR??? they even have the same japanese va....

It all started september 1st 2023, when i was rambling about lyney to my friend who knows nothing about genshin (but was into dr with me), and she pointed their similarity out

And ever since then, i have not been over it at all

(scrolls back up, see: "I'll try to keep my first ask short tho", dies a little inside BECAUSE ITS ALREADY GETTING SO LONG I AM SO SORRY...i am normal i swear (i am not))

OK BEFORE I FINISH I JUST HAVE TWO MORE— do you know the fanganronpa dra? Because I've had a leo and yamato friendship agenda for so long now. I just think they would be the best of friends, because they have a lot of similarities imo? They're also both my faves from their respective medias so,

BUT RECENTLY I'VE ALSO BEEN THINKING OF YAMATO AND FREMINET INTERACTING...because they're both somewhat into machines right? So I'm just thinking...yamato acting like some sort of older brother/senior/mentor figure to freminet? I don't know??? I think it has the potential to be cute and wholesome

OK I THINK THAT'S IT I AM SO SORRY FOR JUST. popping out of nowhere...but finding a blog about crossfandoms just! Made me excited because i am very passionate about my brainrots about it...hope you guys don't mind! Have a nice day :]

OMG OMGGG OMGOGGNAJDHDJKAS YEAH NO ITS COMPLETELY FINE TO GIVE A LONG RAMBLE!! HONESTLY THIS MADE US SO HAPPY!! DEFO FEEL FREE TO ELABORATE IM SO CURIOUS ABOUT THE COLLEGE AU HELLO???

putting under a cut bc this can get long, but also MINOR warning for genshin main story spoilers + enstars spoilers regarding 2wink specifcially, again its minor but still!

'' my two favorite characters from two games i like, leo tsukinaga and lyney! :] ''

I LOVE LOVE LOVE THOSE TWO AS WELL!!

THEY WOULD BE SO FUNNY AS A DUO, im pretty sure leo would love lyney's shows and even made a song based on them a few times, they would be very inspiring!!

as friends i think lyney is the oddly 'sane' one of the two, usually, in a casual normal day lyney has to put idealistic leo in place, honestly

BUT i also feel like in a way leo can ground lyney, bc that guy is someone who lies a lot, its all for a purpose, even someone's good, sure, he even puts on a happy facade bc thats what everyone likes

but all that has GOT to be exhausting and he's surely been in a place where he's just lying to himself even, saying whatever nonsense with a fake smile. leo might be childish but idk i feel like he tell when someone is at their limit like that, ground him back to the truth but not harshly

ykno?/w??/ ajdhasjkdsah am i making sense?? i sure hope so but i will defo be keeping them in my thoughts thank you

'' Next one i am very insane about is the fontaine twins and 2wink because??? --- Especially lyney and hinata??? ''

YEAH I SEE WHERE YOURE GOING WITH HINATA AND LYNEY HONESTLY

LIKE... IVE BEEN TRYING TO READ UP ON 2WINK LORE, I NEED TO READ THAT ONE ! ERA STORY BUT I HEARD WHAT HAPPENED?? DUDE??? HINATA WAS NOT DOING WELL AND I CAN ONLY HOPE HE'S CURRENTLY FINE

THEY BOTH FEEL SO MUCH RESPONSIBILITY AND GUILT FOR THEIR YOUNGER TWIN :((( HINATA WAS LIKE ALSO ANOTHER PERSON WHO PUT ON A HAPPY HAPPY FACADE, AND WOULD CHANGE WILLINGLY CHANGE HIMSELF AND SACRIFICE JUST FOR YUTA??!?? :((( THEN WITH LYNEY ALWAYS TRYING TO TAKE THE GUILT FOR ANYTHING BAD HAPPENING, TRYING TO HANDLE EVERYTHING HIMSELF FOR HIS TWIN + FREMMY NOW :((

TWINS MAKE ME SAD BRO, THESE FICTIONAL TWINS WANT ME DEAD

trust me lyney and hinata both gush about their younger siblings together, then lynette and yuta at the same time elsewhere are complaining about the trouble their elder got them into over tea hasjdhajksfha

'' Then there's once again lyney, but with kokichi (danganronpa) this time— ''

ahh yeah yeah! i remember seeing like, fanart of lyney and kokichi back when the fontaine vas where announced, but man thats a while ago now... BUT YEAH THEY ARE SIMILAR, LIARS, LIARS, PANTS ON FIRE

irl i hate liars sm but in fiction they scratch my brain so much, theyre so... interesting... give me more...

actually on the topic of same vas, wasnt there someone in genshin who had kiibo's va? i cant recall who tho, maybe it was just a random shitpost...

'' you know the fanganronpa dra? Because I've had a leo and yamato friendship ''

'' BUT RECENTLY I'VE ALSO BEEN THINKING OF YAMATO AND FREMINET INTERACTING... ''

hmmm im only familiar with official danganronpas unfortunately, so im afraid i can't comment much, but still by all means encourage you to tell me more about them!! since i know nothing about yamato, please tell me more about how you think these characters interacting would go? :o

please please please give fremmy more people to look up to and to encourage him, he deserves all of it and all the love and care!! imagining him building robots with someone else makes me ahsdkjashdkjahskdjahsjkhasjk EXPLODES /pos

~mod Star

[cosmicstarlatte]

Hi Steph!! I hope you're having a lovely day!

Okay, thank you for tagging me in your card posts!

So of your honorable mentions, I have the Barb one and the Luci sticker one... I can't remember how I even got that one but I don't have the matching Mammon card for some reason? Anyway... they are all so adorable, I fully agree!

I don't have that Diavolo card from your top three, but it sounds so cute! I do have the Levi and Simeon cards, though!! Oh my gosh Levi in demon form is the best, I really love his demon form design. And I remember just being like... this story is so cute he's so precious. And okay there is something special about Simeon lying in a field of flowers... and I loved the Devilgram too it was soooo sweet.

Of the other honorable mentions I only have the pudding card! Which I love, I remember being like this story is hilarious but also I LOVED how Diavolo was just like I'm going to protect you! I am intrigued about the others! I love when Diavolo is geeky, it's easy to forget that part of his personality until he does something like show up to Levi's room in Ruri cosplay lol. And I am so curious about the Solomon card because of your description! The fact that you wouldn't normally choose romantic options but then the story was too cute... like okay now I'm interested!

Anyway, thank you for sharing and thank you for asking the question to begin with! It was fun to think about and I loved hearing your thoughts, too! <3

iirc the anniversary cards had to be done via pulls in nightmare(?) Bc I also don't have the mammon one but I love the art regardless, it's one of my faves XD

I hope you get to read my fave Dia one day! (Or just lmk I can always send you a vid or screenshots 😎) I remember looking at the Levi one like "Look at him all sweaty, I want him. 😐" LMAO;; I can stare at the simeon one all day ♡

The pudding one always makes me crazy, thoughts run wild with that one 😭 and yeah I LOVE GEEKY DIA like yes pls gimme more silly shenanigans normal guy Dia, gimme cosplayer Dia, otaku duo Levi and Dia, they're so precious!! Also if you wanna see the Solomon one too lmk 😌❤️

lol ty for asking/answering too tho I was curious about everyones!! :D

[astrasavedprompts]

need more love for soft doms on the dash. im not here to smack you in the face or call you a whore or lock you in a cage. I'm here to wake you with cuddles and kisses every morning, to hold onto when we're watching a scary movie, and to get you shaking, drooling, and cumming before i untie you from my bed and sing you to sleep every night

getting fucked so good all u can do is make lil 'uh uh uh' when they thrust in

I don’t want to fix him. I just want to temporarily relieve his hysteria by giving him an earth shattering orgasm.

soft doms that whisper in your ear how pretty you are and how good you’re doing for them while manhandling you and pounding into you.

A cute boy moaning because I’m hitting his prostate is my favorite genre of music

Not to be horny but all I really want lately is to be balls deep and raw inside a cutie in the missionary position, their legs wrapped around me, and rutting into them as deep as I can while sucking on their neck and nipples and listening to them moan as they start to tighten and cum all around me, then losing control and fucking my warm load into them with deep spurts, and just staying tangled up like that for a bit as we catch our breath, my cum slowly oozing out.

moans get a lot of attention and rightly so but - just someone's breath? hearing it change as you touch them, a gasp when you find just the right spot, getting heavier and faster when they get closer, faltering and ceasing for a moment just before they come, panting, then slowing as they wind down, lying against your chest? i am begging

he’s all ‘on your knees’ and ‘you’re mine to use’, until you’re teasing at his slit with the tip of your tongue n suddenly he’s the one who’s begging for more, more, more

Sit still on my cock and just squeeze your pussy around it while we make out.

Want to eat someone out so fucking slowly, painstakingly memorizing their taste and shape and smell while they beg me to go faster so they can actually cum. Want to make some poor thing truly desperate, and maybe I'll be nice once I'm fully convinced of how badly they need me

when he puts your hand on his cock through his pants and he asks you if you feel how hard you're making him and you squeeze and you feel how thick and hot and then he says you need to really feel him too and that you are so fucking sexy and then he says to lay back down and let him make you feel good and takes off his belt and you hear the clink clink and then it drops and then he just gets on top of you and mounts you and he tells you he'll treat you so precious so just relax and

additional thoughts: a man who from the outside seems so normal and sweet. smiles and holds the door open. goes out of his way to help the elderly woman in your apartment complex walk across the street if he catches her in time.

also the same man who isn’t satisfied until you are so debauched not a single part of you isn’t covered in sticky sweat, spit, or cum. reminds you not to wear waterproof mascara on date nights so he can see how far he can shove his cock down your throat until you cry. smears your lipstick and gloss across your face with the head of his cock.

rubbing your faves cock over his pants and kissing his neck until he’s cursing, his arm around your waist that keeps you pressed into his side growing tighter and his hips are jerking to follow the way your palm smooths along his length till he’s whispering for you to touch him for real, please baby?

feeling their cock twitch and pulse inside you is really top-tier imo

your favorite duo frotting but they’re doing it over you, panting and groaning, one of them spitting down onto their cocks, the other tightening his fist as he strokes them together, until they’re both bucking and cursing in unison as they paint your pretty face white

there’s something so hot about a guy eating you out while he’s on his kneeswhen they touch themselves while doing it what about laying on the bed, and humping the mattress because their hands are busy holding you down?

late blooming omega (whom everyone thinks is a beta) helping out her alpha best friend when he’s in rut by working a flesh light over his cock until he knots

I love boys who smile like crazy before eating you out. just the sight of your pussy makes their entire day and they don't even hide it. they just want to be squished in between your thighs for the most of their time. they don't care if you crush them, they want to die right there. they lap eagerly at your slit before focusing on your clit. their moans are so loud and whiny against your pussy, sending vibration through your whole body. they are clearly enjoying it even more than you are. 

gojo eats pussy like he hasn’t eaten anything in days. he’s so desperate and whiny and if you weren’t so desperate yourself, you’d tease him. he does it for his own enjoyment. he’s so addicted to the way you taste and feel on his tongue. 

he always takes great pride in making you feel good. he loves to edge you both but on days where he spends hours between your thighs, his dick will be straining against his boxers but he ignores it. 

your moans are so pretty and he can’t get enough and you just taste so fucking good that he can’t stop even when you’re so overstimulated and shaking. he.just.keeps.going. 

“just one more baby, please” he begs, eyes wide and he’s pouting. “please baby, i need it"

"I‘m sorry, I’m sorry,“ he groaned, his words muffled from where his face was pressed into your neck. Your soft cunt fluttered around his dick, sending shivers up his spine. He couldn’t stop — he couldn’t. It was just too good; no matter how many times he came, he couldn’t keep himself from thrusting in again and again and again.

"M‘gonna put a baby in you,” he whispered through the wet sounds of his dick thrusting into your sopping cunt. “Maybe even two.” The thought had you clenching hard around him, and he laughed quietly. “You’d look so good with my kids-” His hands moved from where they were gripping your hips to your soft stomach, “Mommy.”

when you’re riding a pretty boy’s face and you look back and he’s thrusting his hips up into nothing as you grind on his mouth… so fucking pathetic. give me more

[euclydya]

For the character bingo: ur fave skill >:] and/or Lilienne!

OHOHOHO. OH BUOY!! OKAY SO

hi im electrochem and i am biased I am my fabourite Skill I am the bestest at my job I am . my own blorbo. i am normal about myself i am noemal i am normalHAHA PSYCHE

bitign him biting him biting him biting him WITH MY MOUTH i am insane abt him i love him a lot so very much i am normal. [lying]. my thoguths & opinions on Volition can be summed uo in 2 words: Autism Explosion [POSITIVE]. HE makes me insane. did u kno that i would die and kill 4 this guy. he pops up on our screen while playing I'm like TEE HEE <3! i lov him ur honour. i am a homosexual.

ADN THEN LILIENNE!! I WILL B HONEST I HAD 2 GOOGLE 2 REMEMBER WHO SHE WAS our memory is so bad . I WISH i had more thoughts on her but she s so cooL!! holds her gently. she's also very pretty,, adn iirc she has a sword. that is so fucking cool. SHE'S so cool. i am rotating her around in the microwave.

[jeansplease]

bodybuilder fits?

TarroKitanoe7 years ago

i really hate post like this because there is lack of participation and no consistency.There are so many fits for big guys,athletic or muscular leg whatever. i am 6 foot 6 and 268 lbs i normally buy all my denim in selvage been collecting for about 10 years now. My recomendations for big guy selvage from a actual BIG GUY!!!!

I have muscular thighs and calves and a black mans butt since i am black. I wear a lot of Levis Vintage Clothing 501,My fave is the 1954-but 1933 and 1937 are great fits,classic.

I

love PRPS (made in Japan only) i do not care for the china "& goods Co" range lack of quality,if you can find the Barracuda on ebay, selvage not fake fit and length is the shit!

Lee 101,yes Lee had a few that I like the 101B cowboy pant green selavage,yes it fits big guys! Love these,before they stopped selling this online in the USA i bought a few fits from them including a chocolate brown pair of chinos . The Lee Roscoe a slim,yes slim boot cut green selvage Made in Poland is a great fit with Superstars or canvas sneakers and a Tee!

I love the regular slim from Gilded Age purple selavage and a great fit,Ladies love this fit on me and I felt they were a bit tight until I broke them in a good slim not skinny but slim and looks really good.

Nudie Average Joe selvage is another great fit billed as a relaxed fit i think it is a slim fit on me at least but roomy in thighs and calves but not too loose,These anf Regular Ralph or Alph are a good go to brand if price is not an issue.

I also love the Samurai Union Star,This is another relaxed early american style fit,A lot of people feel it is too loose but if your legs are muscular it will balance out and look really good on you i like mine a lot.

On the cheap,The Gap"s earlier foray into selvage had some noteworthy fits the slim straight is a lot like the Gilded Age fit on me and they came in 36' inseam back in the day. I have 2 pairs 1 is made in italy and they are a great straight 501 like fit. The other is japanese selvage but it is a relaxed like straight but it is also a good fit. I saw some in a store last year and the quality are not as good in my opinion.

I have too many to go into but i do not own any Chrome Hearts-Too pricey in my opinion,Real Evisu has several fit that will work but not too much Gull action on the back is best!

Most of all my jeans are high end,but they bare some cheaper alternatives out there. I think the easiest way is to measure your waist,thighs and calves and check the specs on the websites or measure your favorite fitting jeans lying flat and measure those parts and match it to manufacture spec's Give or take a inch above or below should work on your body, Learn what looks good and invest in those just my opinion.

source in the comments of this post

[justsomeoneunordinary]

Kakashi for this one? 👀

https ://at .tumblr .com /justsomeoneunordinary/send-me-a-character-and-ill-answer-these/vjolyf8nlo70

1: sexuality headcanon

that man is SO aroace, hands down. that doesn't even need an explanation, just look at him!

unless he's being railed by gai, in which case he isn't quite so ace anymore uwu

2: otp

kakagai kakagai kakagai kakagai kaKAGAI KAKAGAI-

3: brotp

in my heart, he and tenzou are brothers. he totally behaves like an older brother around him, esp when he's being a little shit lol, i just love their relationship so much

4: notp

never liked kakairu and never will. also used to be open for obikaka but i cannot see it anymore tbh. makes me sick nowadays. (but the naruto fandom def has a problem with tagging their ships properly bc i keep seeing so many notps all the time argh) honestly, i don't rlly ship kks with anyone except with gai. i find him very unshippable idk....

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

he's a biter. not the fanon hatake = wolves hc kinda biting bc i hate that hc (kishi didn't give us much but he gave us enough to conclude that hatake = farmers, not wolves or nomads ffs do ppl not at least google the names before they come up with hc's or what), but the as a child he used to bite anyone kinda thing, so his father gave him a mask and kks just never stopped wearing it. he still bites as soon as it comes off

6: favorite line from this character

i am terrible at rmbr'ing lines but when he meets team 7 and his reaction is "my first impression of you is... i hate you all" is the fucking funniest shit to me. first, he lets those 12yo kiddos wait for hours and then has the gall to tell them he hates them lmfao king shit i love him (also, what a lying liar. they're his kiddos and he loves them)

7: one way in which I relate to this character

slouch king <3 i too, can't walk or sit with my back straight. also, reading porn in public. relatable

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

lmao in shippuuden where he had to read a section out loud of his porn book and the line was literally just "i love you" but he practically died trying to say it, face red, sweat running down, stuttering and all that jazz acbsjfhsjfhdjfbajfb IT'S LITERALLY JUST I LOVE YOU, IT'S NOT EVEN SMTH SMUTTY FFS KKS YOU'RE A GROWN MAN!!! also the sheer amount of times he collapses bc of chakra exhaustion like pls king that's not normal, no one else pushes their chakra to the limit you fucking drama queen. i'll never forget that one time sakura sees him at ichiraku's and goes "oh, not in the hospital for once? that's new" lmfaooooo get recc'd. ALSO kks of the sharingan has copied over a thousand jutsu AND YET WE ONLY EVER SEE HIM USE CHIDORI!! BRUH WHERE ARE THOSE 1000 JUTSU, WHERE???!!! how abt you stop using that sharingan of yours that drains you so much of chakra just to copy jutsu that you then don't even intend to use, hmmmmm??? lmao he's a genuis but he's so dumb

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

neither? all village ninja's are basically the military of a fascist state, and all deserted ninjas are killers without actual permission to kill, so given the universe everyone is problematic. you could say bc he's one of the good guys he's the former but he's also such a loyal bootlicker (i love him but god kks the way he doesn't question the system at all even after everything that happened to him is so... acbjshdjsfh) so you could say he's problematic in that sense??? you can't rlly put any nart character into either of this category tbh

[startanewdream]

James and/or Sirius laughing at Harry for growing (or trying to) grow a beard 🧔

That’s it

That’s my comment

Ahhh, it's midnight for me I work early tomorrow but I just *had* to write something along these lines!

Set during winter break at Year 6 (or my fave pining Harry time). Warning for some slang and also that I edited on the phone

________

“Fuck. No, no, it can’t be… fuck!”

The first slang would have made Sirius stop on his way down the hall, but the tone of desolation that follows it, added by the most hopelessness he has ever heard in Harry's voice, makes him open the door to his godson’s bedroom without waiting for an answer.

(Always risky when it comes to teenagers, but it seems to be an emergency)

The first thing he notices is the rotten smell, then the smoke coming out of a cauldron with the fire beneath still lit; sparkles are coming out of Harry’s wand, which he holds high (underage magic? That he won’t tell), but then Sirius’ gaze falls on Harry’s face and he ignores anything else.

Because on Harry’s face there is something so horrendous that Sirius won’t dare to call it a beard. It’s hair.

Harry’s chin spots the same hair as in his head. It’s a dark messy beard that makes him look as if his hair grew all around his mouth.

“What the hell?”

“Don’t laugh!” Harry tells him immediately, a little bit threatening, but Sirius is truly too shocked to even break a smile. This thing is too ghastly for even him to crack a joke about it. “I… I messed up, okay?”

“Kid, that’s an overstatement,” Sirius says, getting closer to his godson slowly. He touches his beard. “How did you get hair on your chin? That’s the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Ugh.” Harry throws a guilty look to the cauldron on the floor. “It’s Grandpa Monty’s fault.”

“Unless his ghost came back to screw your face, it seems as if you did this to yourself, kid.”

“No, I… Look!” He picks a scroll, waving it in front of Sirius’ nose. “I found his old notes in the attic. Five-Second Eazybeard! I swear I brewed the potion exactly as he wrote.”

Sirius eyes the smelly potion.

“Are you sure it was your granddad’s notes? This doesn’t seem like Monty's style at all.”

“Well… I thought so. He was the potioneer in the family, right? And he invented Sleekeazy!”

“And then he didn’t launch anything else,” Sirius reminds him, looking at the potion instructions.

“Because he was rich enough and didn’t need more money?”

Sirius laughs. “Nah, Monty was curious enough to keep inventing. This was probably an attempt that didn’t work.” Sirius shakes his head, smirking. “Look, I am not trying to pull a Lily here, but trying untested potions? That’s a bad idea, Harry.”

"I haven't had problems so far," Harry mumbles to himself. As Sirius is about to ask him what he means by that, Harry grabs his hand suddenly. "I learned the lesson, ok? Now you gotta help me!"

Sirius lifts an eyebrow. "The only thing that would help you is a scissor."

"I've tried! The bathroom is full of this thing, but it just grew back! I've tried to cut it magically, and it's all the same. You are the adult here, do something!"

"What do you want me to do? I can't do an antidote just looking at the ingredient list! You need Lily, just call her—"

"I…" the part of Harry's face that is not covered by hair flushes. "I can't. She is at the Burrow now, helping Mrs Weasley with the New Year's party."

"Then let's go, I am sure it will be easy for her—"

"No!" Harry looks in panic now, his eyes widened. "She cannot know what… what happened."

"Lily will know as soon as—"

"Not… not Mum, it's… look, that's fine. Mum will be back tomorrow, I will just spend the New Year hiding in my room pretending I don't exist."

"Harry… there's nothing to be embarrassed about. You know, growing hair body is perfectly normal at your age—"

"Ugh, stop teasing me."

"I wish I could, but you look truly horrible." Sirius winks at him, sitting on Harry's bed. "What prompted you to do this?"

Harry's flush intensifies.

"I was trying to grow a beard."

"Oh, really?"

"It's… it's stupid, okay? But Ginny was… I mean, I heard some girls saying that they enjoyed guys with a beard and I can only grow that stupid stubble and—argh—I just thought I could give it a try but now I have hair growing all around my head and—"

"You are babbling, kid, I got it."

"No, you don't." Harry runs his hand through his hair, looking very much like James when he is most nervous. "You get to grow a beard when you want it. You get this whole shining hair. You get women to sigh for you and I… I am just this stupid teenager who can't even have a full beard."

Sirius blinks. "You are worrying way too much, Harry. And, well, if you want to be assured, you are nice—girls have taken a fancy to you, haven't they?"

"That's just the Chosen One thing, it's not really… me."

Sirius fights back a smile. Harry seems really desolate.

"Look, you've grown well. You are still growing. I am sure people notice you. You have your mother's gorgeous eyes and you do look like James—if there is any comfort in this, I remind you that James got Lily to feel attracted to him, so you can't be that bad." Harry frowns, and Sirius isn't sure if it's because he doesn't want to think of their parents being attracted to each other or if because he doesn't trust Lily's opinion on this matter. "I am sure Ginny thinks you are attractive, beard or no beard."

Harry jumps.

"Who said anything—"

"Oh, are we still pretending you don't fancy her?"

Harry looks away. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Yeah, sure. So you don't mind going to the Burrow now and showing up like this?"

"Of course I do! I mean… Ron would tease me."

"Ron."

"And the twins. I mean, look at this!"

"Yeah, I would be upset if they didn't. So many joke opportunities. You are hairy, Harry."

Harry puts his hands in front of his face. Sirius refrains from telling him this doesn't hide his beard at all.

"So… what do I do now?"

"We truly need Lily's help on this… we need to go to the Burrow."

"I can't—"

"Don't worry." Sirius breathes heavily. "Your godfather won't leave you alone on this."

_________

"It was an accident, Lily," Sirius tells her, his hand playing with the hair over his chin. His new grown hair beard reaches his chest and Sirius is almost finishing a braid by now. "I was trying some old potion, and then Harry was close and it just splashed in both of us."

Lily lifts her eyebrows, her eyes moving from Sirius to Harry and then back.

"An accident?" she repeats, incredulous.

"I am so sorry," he says, the portrait of innocence. "Could you help us with an antidote? And before you say anything, I know I shouldn't have tested an unknown potion. But do this for Harry, not for me. Poor kid doesn't deserve to spend the night hiding. It's a New Year's party after all!"

Lily shakes her head, amused.

"Fine, because you asked so eloquently. I will grab my potion kit, a hair inhibitor should be enough."

"You truly are the best, Lily," Sirius tells her, beaming.

Harry waits until his mother is out of the room to let out a relieved breath.

"Thanks so much, Sirius," he says.

Sirius nods, still messing with the hair on his chin. It's so weird and it looks as ghastly in him as it does on Harry.

He doesn't regret applying that potion to his face. His sacrifice worked just as he planned to: with two people having hair growing out of their chins, the attention was divided and with Sirius taking the blame, people felt sorry enough for Harry to not mock him much.

"Hey," they turn around to see Ginny coming closer, holding a tray with some sandwiches for them. "Mum thought you would be hungry while hiding here."

"Thanks," Sirius says, because Harry seems too busy pretending to look outside the window, anything so he can try to avoid Ginny looking at his beard.

Ginny nods at Sirius, but she approaches Harry anyway.

"Your mum is already working on the antidote, don't worry," she tells him gently. "Look, it's not as bad as that time Percy tried to grow a moustache, remember?"

Harry chuckles. "You are so lying."

"I would never," she assures him, voice light. "Look at me."

Harry turns to her almost as if he can't control it. His eyes soften as he gazes upon her, and Sirius is suddenly reminded of how Lily always looks when she sees James.

Ginny raises her hand slowly, giving Harry plenty of time to back away, but he just stays quiet as she touches his beard, her fingers running through it. Sirius suspects Harry isn't even breathing anymore.

"It's soft," she tells Harry and for a moment they just stare at each other. Sirius decides that he is really witnessing a moment that he doesn't want to, but his attempt to quietly leave the room only alerts them to his presence. Ginny's hand falls back as if she got electrocuted. "Anyway, you look better without it."

Harry grimaces. "I guess that stupid stubble is better than this."

"Stupid stubble?" Ginny blinks, evidently surprised. "It's not stupid, I… I mean, girls love it on you."

"They do?"

"Yeah, well, just thinking about your stubble brushing my skin—I mean, their skin, as in other girls' shoulders, or holding your face while… never mind, I just… I just heard it, that's all. You are drawing a lot of attention."

"I know, all this Chosen One stupid thing—"

"It's not it... you are really oblivious to your charm, Harry."

"You think I am charming?" Harry asks, longing evident in his voice now.

"I…" Ginny hesitates, turning away as if she doesn't want to answer this while looking at Harry, and her eyes meet Sirius. He smirks at her, knowing perfectly well her answer. Ginny's face reddens even as her jaw sets in a protective instance. "Yeah, with the stubble. Everyone knows it. It's common knowledge. I… I have to go, I think I heard Mum calling me."

Sirius could point out that Molly didn't call her at all, but he opts for just letting Ginny go, his smirk more than enough to let her know she didn't fool him.

At the other corner of the room, Harry's face is spotting a huge grin, watching the door with a dreamy expression.

"She likes my stubble!" He declares happily. "Oh, I need to take off this stupid long beard now."

Sirius shakes his head at Harry, amused. At least Harry won't ever complain about his inability to grow a beard again.

[unrecorded]

I posted 10,603 times in 2022

176 posts created (2%)

10,427 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@whetstonefires

@wovenstarlight

@solcarow

@deadgrantaires

@retroactivebakeries

I tagged 4,280 of my posts in 2022

#undescribed - 2,175 posts

#tlt - 217 posts

#long post - 215 posts

#orv - 185 posts

#dc - 152 posts

#queue - 108 posts

#fave tag - 103 posts

#ntn spoilers - 101 posts

#hs - 85 posts

#mp100 - 69 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#was having a silly burnout moment the other day and lying on my bed staring up at the ceiling w dead fish eyes when i got a text from the us

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

any orv fic automatically becomes canon compliant if you write it in second person. no i will not elaborate

11 notes - Posted January 9, 2022

#4

im kind of like kim dokja if his ysa was a corporate machine and the shitty webnovels werent necessary to or even really affecting his will to survive but he just had really bad taste in literature. and also im normaler i guess

12 notes - Posted May 5, 2022

#3

i need everyone (read: my awful friends) to understand that when i say that battinson is my silly little guy i mean that to me he is like my dork cousin who is theoretically much more successful than me, but who is still a mess with whom i share the exact same mental illnesses. he is cooler than me but also i am cooler than him but also he is just like me. to put it simply he is my father my brother and my friend, and i want to tie his shoelaces and make him put on a shirt so he doesn't catch a cold while frantically spraypainting the floor of his giant mansion. i want to join him in spraypainting the floor of his giant mansion. these are normal opinions to have after watching a three hour superhero movie

21 notes - Posted March 30, 2022

#2

the thing about orv is that it will make you cry the way the little prince made you cry but first you have to sit through 400 chapters designed to lure guys who read webnovels like solo leveling into sing shong's saw trap that will eventually trick them into crying the way the little prince made us cry

27 notes - Posted April 18, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

at its heart, orv is a webnovel celebrating silly, self-indulgent, lowbrow, and “bad” creative expression, so i always get really excited to see people writing self inserts and oc centric fic even if i have no desire to actually read the vast majority of them

it’s just like, yeah!! this guy gets it! this novel was made for you!!!

39 notes - Posted April 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[killjoy-prince]

For Bingo ship - Kaito x Luka?

i am so normal about them (lying)

Ok so like Kaito and Luka are my 3rd/4th favorite vo/caloids and I really love their colors and their aesthetic and I guess one day I was thinking about them and I was like "You know, my faves deserve each other" and the spiral down kinda rarepair hell started there lolol and since they're vo/caloids, that means their personalities and stuff like that is pretty much free reign baby!!!!! I've said this before but seeing them next to each other does genuinely put a smile on my face. I don't know why but they do. They make me feel happy! Like I would go through videos on Youtube trying to find songs and covers that used their voicebanks and just listen to them on a playlist on repeat. And now with prsk, we have more content with them. When they finally shared a sekai and had an area convo I got so happy bc!!! aaa!! They're talking!!! to each other!!!!!! this is happening!!!!!! aaaaaaaa!!!! My go-to interpretation of them is Kaito is this reliable but goofy guy who chill to be around but is always there to lend an ear if you need it and Luka is like this cool responsible i guess/ "big sister" type who's smile can brighten someone (mainly Kaito's) day. They're also both bi bc i said so (this is where a good chunk of the self projection comes in) I've wanted to draw them and write things about them but ive been so busy I haven't had a chance. I've made up a whole ass AU with them and the other vo/caloids (I don't think I'll share it bc it's very self indulgent and probably makes no sense to anyone but me lolol)

Send me a ship for Ship Bingo

[anothertimdrakestan]

Batboys Getting Betrayed By Their S/O HC

Requested? Yes! From a lovely anon!

“Hello! I'd like to make a Batboys reaction request if I may! If writing for all of them is too much please pick whoever you'd like! Have fun with it! Batboys finally catch the villain they've been after for a disgusting amount of time, they grab their mask/helmet, rip it off and BAM!! It's their S/O. How do they react? Thank you for your time!!”

THIS HC TURNED INTO AN EPIC COLLAB BETWEEN @birdy-bat-riya AND WE POPPED OFF!!! Riya really said “lets break the boys heart then give them the best fluff in the world” and I agreed then BAM this beauty. I hope you enjoy and I’m super excited to collab w my tumblr soulmate more!!!

ALSO GO CHECKOUT STAY WITH ME A TIM DRAKE FIC THAT IS KINDA LIKE THIS IF YOU WANT STORYLINE IT’S ONE OF MY FAVES!!!

Damian Wayne

- Damian would not see it coming

- after a painful bout of hand to hand combat, Robin had you stuck to a wall with Batarangs, and he stalked forward

- hoping he would get pulled away by Batman so wouldn’t notice your similarity to the love of his life, you sucked in a deep breath as you realized there was no escape

- “The great villainous sidekick defeated by Robin. Sounds good doesn’t it? But I want to know just who I bested” he quipped, reaching for your mask

- as he pulled it off he froze, your mask dropped to the ground as you began begging for forgiveness

- “Baby it’s not what it looks like! I’m sorry you know I couldn’t tell you! I love you Damian please understand!” you cried, pulling against the batarangs you felt your suit rip as you jumped to the ground reaching for Damian

- Damian looked beyond stunned, trying to process the idea that the one person he trusted above all had betrayed him. He’d spent months hunting, fighting, deeply wound you, then calling you beloved just a couple days later

- pulling yourself forward you flung your arms around him, trying to love him into submission

- instinctively his arms began to wrap around you and you could feel the material of his gloves grace over the exposed parts of your side from where your suit ripped, but he drew them back, pushing you off of him

- “belov- Y/N” his tone was harsh, and broken, “is this really you? You knew I was Robin, and yet you lied to me every day? Learned my weaknesses and my truths all just to use it against me?” you could see him shaking, his domino mask hid his glassy eyes but not his heart broken expression

- you realized he thought you’d only befriended him to use him and you jumped to explain “No! Babe never! I keep this life and our life completely separate! I never used anything and would never tell your secrets to anyone! This, this life [ you gestured to your suit ] is out of necessity, for my survival I have to be strong. But with you, Damian, with you life is worth living, you make my battles worth fighting, everything I do is for us!” you realized how good it felt to let everything go, tears streaming down your face

- Damian looked conflicted, broken because of your betrayal, but you could tell he still loved you

- “Y/N you know I can keep you safe, why? Why live this life when you know of the one we could’ve had together?” Damian 

- “I didn’t think of it that way” you whispered, thoughts flying through your head

- “Then let me help you” was all Damian said, and he reached out a hand

- Batman and your boss appeared behind you and Robin, both confused with what was happening

- Bruce looked shocked to see who the villain’s sidekick was, but he was trying to keep his Batman level confidence

- “C’mon kid lets go” you felt a tug on your shoulder, trying to lead you back to your base, but the look Damian was giving you stopped you, unable to turn your shoulder on him

- this was Damian asking you to pick a new life with him. And you knew he was the only thing that truly made him happy, but this would be the end of your reputation, and your safety

- you began to reach for Damian but stopped, needing his reassurance

- “you promise you’ll protect me?”

- “always.” you took his hand, falling into his arms, and decided a future with Damian was better than anything else

Dick Grayson

- Dick didn’t know you were Slade’s protege after Dick told him no all those years ago

- you knew he thought of your villain persona as his greatest opponent and you couldn’t break his heart

- you’d both been in the good guy vs bad guy business since you were kids so you couldn’t expect him to understand, so you hid it.

- he told you he was Nightwing a couple months before and your heart dropped realizing you’d been fighting the love of your life for years, and were trained by one of his greatest tormentors

- in a terrible turn of events you, Nightwing, and Slade all ended up fighting each other, Nightwing and you after Slade for seperate reasons just before his escape he noticed how you couldn’t hurt Dick like you used to

- in an act of revenge for you leaving his side all those years ago, he shouted “catch you later sweet Y/N!” before jumping out a window out of your sight

- Dick’s head whipped to you, a look of confusion at Slade knowing your identity

- hoping he’d missed it you tried to run out of the building and take off

- angy Dick is basically super powered so he caught you (yes i said angy)

- when he rips off your mask and the face he’d adored for years looks up at him he physically can’t stand

- watching the love of your life crumple to the ground is the hardest thing you’ve endured

- frantically trying to explain you keep trying to cup his face in your hand but he pulls away, refusing to look you in the eyes, eventually finding the strength to get up and grapple away

- the entire batfam goes after you. Damian especially, because he trusted you, glad Dick had someone that loved him the way he secretly did. There is no way you’re gonna get away from an angry Batfam especially when their mutual favorite brother has been broken

- I honestly don’t think Dick would let it go back to normal. His family would never approve and knowing you lied for months was too much, he knows what is good and bad for him and is surrounded by family.

- One day the two of you would team up and apologize, continuing forward as mutuals that come when the other needs you, but Dick wouldn’t be able to look at you the same, and Damian would never leave his side, refusing to let Dick get hurt again

Jason Todd

- Jason was used to coming home to you bruised and cut. He never liked to see you battered and bleeding, but he understood it was part of your job as a Criminal Investigator.

- at least that’s what he thought

- you were used to seeing him beat up too. The only difference was that you knew the real reason he came home beaten and injured. 

- it was because he would spend his nights fighting you.

- you truly loved Jason, but you couldn't bear to break his heart by telling him the truth. That the woman he loved was his sworn enemy and was lying about it.

- little did you know, he was beginning to get suspicious of your injuries. They seemed a little extreme for an investigative agent, and dare he say, they seemed to match the injuries his enemy walked away with last night.

- then one night, it happened. You were being chased by Red Hood. You thought you were in the clear. And knowing jason would be home any minute, you headed back home, hopping from rooftop-to-rooftop.

- you stopped in the parking lot of your building, about to take off your mask when you heard a voice. Red Hood was leaning on your car, looking more tense than usual. “Go on. Take off the mask.”

- you were mortified. You tried to run but he caught you and you were cornered. He took off the mask and you looked down, afraid to meet his eyes.

- he wasn’t startled or shocked. You heard the seams of his gloves rip as he clenched his fist. You looked up and saw him scowling, but behind the anger, there was so much disappointment. You could see his heart breaking.

-  he stepped back and began to walk away. You tried so hard to explain and apologize but he only turned you down, unwilling to see your face.

- realizing everything was ruined, you gave one final apology. “Jason, I know you can’t forgive me. But I truly am sorry. I'm sorry for lying, I’m sorry for hurting you, I’m sorry for everything. But I promise, I really do love you. And I know you might not believe me, but I mean every word.” Tears were streaming down your face, and he wouldn’t let you see it, but they were brimming in his.

- you left and didn’t come back. You kept your distance from Jason but made sure you knew was still alright. He was frequenting bars, skipping patrols. You began to worry when he was nowhere to be found, so you donned the mask once more, only without your usual uniform.

- that night, to your disbelief, you found the Red Hood fighting some petty cat burglars outside of a museum. You noticed how his punches held more force than they used to and felt a little pained, seeing his hurt in his movements. 

- while he was taking care of the robbers, you saw one of them run off to a car with a jade vase and instinctively charged in. You hopped in the car roof and swung into the passenger seat, knocked out the driver, and safely drove the car back.

- you put the vase back where it belonged and left the scene of the crime without anyone’s attention.

- Red Hood turned the burglars over to the cops. There was something about a tripped alarm and missing vase but the item was kept exactly where it was meant to be when they checked.

- he was about to trudge away when he heard something. “This masked broad, she jumped into the car! From the bloody window!” His mind wandered. It couldn’t be…

- that night, you returned to one of your old safehouses and headed to your closet to put away your mask, but the first thing you saw was your suit. You looked at the domino mask in your hand and all you could remember was Jason’s face when he found out. Right then and there, you threw it all away.

- months passed. You hadn’t heard from or seen Jason Todd. You revamped your suit and donned a new mask. You went by your old name still. You couldn’t change who you were, and you didn't want to either. 

- the only difference now was that you didn’t kill. something tilted the needle on your moral compass, and as much you wanted to deny it, Jason rubbed off on you.

- you took your burglary jobs, and got into your own type of trouble, but you could almost always handle it. Emphasis on the ‘almost’

- once or twice you bit off more than you could chew, for example the time when you needed to collect some money from a Bludhaven gang. you were outnumbered and unarmed. just when you thought it was all over for you, you heard two gunshots and violent cursing. 

- you found yourself standing before two gangsters with bloody hands and one Red Hood. “You’re welcome.”, he said with his usual snarky tone, muffled by his helmet. 

- this was the first of many times he would save you. You would drop in on his gigs sometimes as well, just to lend a helping gun.

- bad blood aside, you were always there for eachother. He meant it as a silent acceptance of your apology and that’s exactly how you took it.

- soon enough the tension faded, you both went down your own roads but found comfort in knowing that you were never alone. It was an unspoken pact that when one of you needed the other, you’d never be far. 

Tim Drake

- Tim would notice something, maybe you stuffing your suit in your trunk, you using a phrase his enemy always used, something that gave him the wrong feeling

- he’d push it away, always wanting to believe the best of you

- but eventually it wouldn’t add up

- Tim came over one night and made a beeline to the back of your closet, a drawer he never saw you open during all the years of knowing you

- you heard a small gasp when he pulled out the suit of his rival, the strangled sound of disbelief was the last noise he made before he threw your suit on the floor and stormed out, and it was the last you saw of him for months

- watching the news seeing “RED ROBIN GONE BAD?” or “IS THIS IS THE SAME HERO?” as you watched Tim become more and more reckless and cruel. Tim rarely got so physical the medics came instead of the police but watching him through your screen you saw a new person

- seeing Tim (and Red Robin) break down on television gave you the realization of the necessity behind Tim’s heroics

- almost as an homage to his heart break he began using the moves you’re villainous alter ego used on him on his new targets, showing you the hurt and the damage you’d done to your victims

- after weeks of watching the torture you knew villainy wasn’t worth it if it meant Tim was broken like this

- knowing he’d be on patrol like always you waited on the top of the building he’d brought you to the night you started dating, hoping he’d miss the memory as much as you did

- rushing up to him, begging for him to listen, even after the heart break Tim couldn’t say no to you, and he needed to know why, this was a mystery he really couldn’t piece together

- frantically explaining everything from your childhood forward, you couldn’t stop, the honestly was refreshing, and Tim listened the whole time

- after admitting everything you brought your suit out, and in front of Tim you began to rip it to shreds, hoping he’d see the meaning behind your words

- this was a lot for Tim, and he asked for a week to settle his feelings

- Red Robin was inactive for a week, 168 hours you spent praying to anything that he’d take you back

- and exactly one week later, you were holding your head in your hands sobbing, wishing you could’ve changed earlier and hoping Tim would go back to his heroism - when you heard your apartment window carefully opening

- Tim came back, suited up, holding a new suit for you that he’d had created

- Tim explained that he wanted you back, and he intended on helping you fix all your past mistakes, one life saved at a time

- you often looked back on the news from that week, the headlines showed a new chapter of your life

“RED ROBIN AND NIGHTINGALE Y CRIME FIGHTING DUO!” “RED ROBIN IS BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER WITH A NEW HERO AT HIS SIDE!”

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS IS A REMINDER TO GO FOLLOW @birdy-bat-riyaBECAUSE SHE IS THE REASON THIS IS SO AMAZING ILY GIRLY